#he lowkey grosses me out every now and again

[payaso-affairs]

thinking really hard about this one but we might have another one for the collection, boys-

[sceletaflores]

slippin' and slidin' all over you!

pair: logan howlett x fem!reader

wc: 4k

contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, sweating, mutual masturbation, sweat licking (i don't know???), not-so-dry humping, p in v, JUST THE TIP RAHHH, creampie, fingering (fem!recieving), oral sex (fem!receiving), come swapping, come eating, literally over four thousand words of pure nasty smut, this is gross lowkey, idk i'm h*rny, porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.

nat’s note: very much not the winner or even an option of the poll i posted last week but...shhh don't hate me. it’s october and over 80 every single day, what the fuck is that? only good thing that came from this heat is thoughts of nasty sweaty sex with logan. once again shoutout to my wonderful husband @ebodebo for reading this over for me (i successfully changed her vendetta against sucking up some man sweat...which was the real point of this fic tbh) go give her fics some love if you're a slut for ghost! kisses!

logan forgot to fix the ac...

It's too hot out to be alive. 36°C and sunny.

One of the hottest days in recent memory for Alberta, and you're really feeling it.

"Remind me," you say slowly, the first words spoken in almost ten minutes. "How many times did I ask you to fix the air conditioner?"

"Don't start," Logan says from his spot across the room. His head is tipped back to rest on the couch cushion, eyes slipped shut.

You ignore him, lazily rolling your head to the side to look at him through squinted eyes, your brows furrowed in thought. "Was it ten? Or maybe thirteen?"

Logan huffs a breath, slow and heavy, but he doesn't move--doesn't even open his eyes. “I said don’t start,” he mutters again, though there’s the faintest edge of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Don't worry baby," you say, voice pitched lower in a terrible impersonation of Logan. "I'll get to it, promise. Won’t get too hot for another couple months."

Logan finally cracks an eye open, just enough to give you a sideways glance, his mouth twitching with amusement. "You done?"

You hum noncommittally, the sound lingering in the air like the lazy summer breeze doing nothing to cool the temperature outside. Your gaze slips down the side of his face to trace the jut of his jaw, then lower to the sweaty column of his neck. 

Both you and Logan lost most of your clothes earlier in the day, too hot to bother wearing anything but underwear. You trudged around the house like zombies until you finally gave up on trying to be productive, you both ended up in the living room. 

All the windows are cracked open, trying in vain to let in any cool air. You claimed the armchair closest to the fan, refusing to be anywhere near Logan and the massive heat wave he constantly gives off.

Logan’s on the couch, stripped down to the thinnest pair of sleep shorts you’ve ever seen. His chest is bare, glistening with a thin sheen of sweat that mats the dark hair dusted along his pecs to his skin. 

You can’t help the way your eyes follow the drops of moisture that slide slowly down the contours of his abs. A low heat starting to swirl through your gut when it disappears into his happy trail.

It's funny. When you basically peeled yourself off your mattress this morning, sex was the absolute last thing on your mind.

Now, as your eyes glide over the strong expanse of Logan's body on full display, you're having second thoughts.

Maybe it just comes with the heat. That sort of slow, syrupy feeling that slides along your overheated skin to pulse pleasantly between your thighs.

A bead of sweat slides down the length of your spine slowly, falling until it soaks into the damp waistband of your panties. You try to not notice how Logan is halfway across the room, not touching you.

You fail.

“It’s just a shame, though,” you start, fingers idly toying with the hem of your tank top. “If it was cooler, I could come over there.”

You slide a leg up, letting it rest against the wooden rest, newly exposed skin gleaming under the sunlight filtering in. 

The move isn't lost on Logan. You see his jaw clench slightly, the tiniest shift in his posture.

"Something you wanted?" Logan asks, his voice going low and teasing. "Looks like you've been gettin' yourself all worked up over there."

“Just thinking,” you reply, shifting slightly on the sticky leather of the chair.

Logan’s fingers twitch at his sides, his chest rising and falling with slow, measured breaths. His eyes slide the rest of the way open, his gaze heavy and lingering as it ventures down to where your thin shirt sticks to your skin, outlining every curve.

“Oh yeah?” he prompts, his voice a little rougher now. “Thinkin’ about what, baby?”

“You,” you say easily, fingers slipping down to your thigh. You bring your other leg up, perching it against the opposite armrest. Your thighs spread wide enough that you know Logan has a full view of the wet spot growing along the gusset of your panties.

The hitch in Logan’s breath has you stifling a smug smile, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch the way his chest starts rising faster.

"That's real sweet, sugar," he drawls, an unimpressed look on his face as he drags his eyes back up to your own. "But if you're tryin' to get me over there, you're gonna have to do better than that." His voice slides through the air heavy and warm like molasses.

You bite back a grin, enjoying the slow game that's unfolding between the two of you. 

"Maybe I don’t want you to come over here," you let your fingers trail a little lower, just to the edge of your panties, teasing. “Maybe I like you right where you are.”

Logan’s brow raises, his thighs tensing before he spreads them just a touch wider. The fabric of his boxers goes taut over the strong muscle, riding up to expose even more hairy skin to your greedy eyes.

"You're playin' with fire, kid," he warns.

The tent in his shorts is obvious now, the hard length of his cock pressing against the fabric where it lays across his thigh. Your other hand twitches by your side at just the sight, your pussy throbbing with the sudden need to be filled.

"Am I?" you murmur, your fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your panties, just enough to make sure he knows exactly where this is headed. ”It’s not like you’re going to do anything about it, you’re too busy pouting."

With a deliberate slowness, you slide your fingers lower, brushing against your clit with just enough pressure to let out a soft gasp at the contact. You arch your back slightly, relishing in the way the air feels against your skin, hot and sticky.

You want him to see how badly you need him—how his heat is the only thing that could truly satisfy the insatiable ache building between your legs.

Logan's nostrils flare, jaw tightening and eyes darkening at the sight of you teasing yourself. His restraint is slipping, and you can practically feel the tension building in the room, thick and stifling like the oppressive summer heat. 

But he still doesn’t move, doesn’t rush over like you expect him to. Instead, he shifts his hips slightly, spreading his legs wider and letting his hand fall on his thigh. 

You can’t help the way your breath quickens at the sight, the way his fingers drift dangerously close to his own growing bulge, teasing you just as much as you’re teasing him. 

You tilt your head to the side, gazing at him through your lashes. “You're really just gonna leave me hanging?” you goad, fingers circling lazily around your sensitive clit. “Come on stud, whip it out.”

Logan chuckles low, a sound that sends shivers through you. "Is that what you want, baby?" he asks, voice thick and taunting, a smirk curling on his lips. “You want me to whip it out for you?”

“Yeah,” you murmur breathlessly, biting your lip as you maintain eye contact, your breath starting to come in short bursts. “I need to see you, Logan. Need to see how hard you are for me.”

“Need to, huh,” he muses slowly, fingers finally grazing over the hard length of his cock. “What’s in it for me?”

“How about this?” You slip your hand out from your ruined panties, fingers glistening with your own wetness as you hook your thumbs on either side and drag them down your legs.

You let the soaked cotton fall to the floor, leaving you completely exposed to him.

Logan’s pupils dilate, an inky black completely swallowing the warm hazel. He licks his lips slowly, the tip of his tongue running along his teeth like he wants to sink them into you. His cock twitches visibly beneath his shorts, the growing tension in the air between you thick enough to choke on.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, his voice low and gravelly, more of a growl than a word.

You smile, shifting in the chair to give him an even better view, your legs spreading wider. "Yeah?" you purr, running your fingers over your slick inner thigh, feeling the heat radiating from your own skin. “You like what you see?”

Logan swallows hard, his hand finally slipping beneath the waistband of his shorts, palming his cock as he watches you. “You know I do,” he says, voice rougher than before. 

You let your hand trail back down to your clit, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles as you hold his gaze. “Then show me, Logan,” you whisper, your voice almost a plea now. "I wanna see you."

Logan lets out a low, rumbling groan, his fingers making quick work of shoving his shorts down enough to free his cock. It springs free to slap lewdly against his stomach and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips at the sight.

He strokes himself slowly to start, his eyes locked on you, watching your every reaction, feeding off the way your chest rises and falls in quick, shallow breaths.

"Like this?" he asks, his tone taunting as he strokes himself from base to tip, his thumb swiping over the head with a low hiss. “That what you wanted?”

Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him, straining and in his hand. The sight of his thumb brushing over the tip of his cock sends a hot, electric pulse through your body, your hand between your legs moving in time with his slow strokes.

"Yeah," you whisper, voice trembling with need. "Just like that."

You slip your hand lower, sliding two fingers inside yourself with a low moan. Logan groans like he’s the one being touched, his hand speeds up, eyes glued to where your fingers disappear in your slick heat.

His cock leaks pre-come over his knuckles each time his fist passes over the dripping head, the wet sound of it mixing with the low hum of the fan and your own breathy sighs.

"You look so fuckin' good like this honey," Logan groans, his voice rough, strained. "All spread out, playing with that pretty pussy for me."

You whimper at his words, your body aching for more than just your own touch. You need him, need the feel of his rough hands on your skin, his mouth, his cock—anything.

Your fingers move faster, slipping deeper inside with each pump, but it’s still not enough. The stretch is nothing compared to taking Logan, to the feeling of him carving a place for his thick cock inside your pussy, hitting that spot inside you that your fingers can’t quite reach.

Your hips buck up towards your hand, your back arching off the chair as your free hand clutches the armrest tightly.

Logan’s pace quickens, his fist pumping his cock with a new urgency, heavy balls bouncing with every rough tug.

“God, look at you, such a needy fuckin’ thing” he growls, chest heaving as his gaze flicks between your flushed face and the glistening mess you’re making of yourself like he can’t decide where to look. “You want it bad, don’t you?”

"Please," you whine, desperation creeping into your voice. Too keyed up to draw this out any longer. “I need you inside me, Logan. I can’t take it anymore.”

Logan groans, a sound that rumbles deep in his chest. His hand falters slightly on his cock, squeezing hard around the base as your words push him dangerously close to the edge. His jaw clenches, eyes raking over you, and with a growl, he stands. 

The last threads of his restraint snapping.

 He crosses the room in two long strides, towering over you where you sit. His cock swollen and hard, sways between his legs with every step, glistening with pre-come that drips to the floor. His eyes, hooded and burning, drink you in as he reaches down, yanking your hand away from your slick heat.

“Thought you said it was too hot to move,” you tease breathlessly, unable to quit egging him on even when your legs start to tremble with need, spreading wider to welcome him.

Logan ignores you, tugging your hand to his lips. Your breath catches in your chest, a weak moan escaping you as he takes your soaked fingers in his mouth. His tongue swirling along your skin to taste you, his eyes never leaving yours as he does.

“Changed my mind,” he growls, strong hands rough and possessive as they drop your wrist and haul you out of the chair so he can spin around, collapsing into it with you in his lap. The wood gives a warning creak beneath you but neither of you care.

Not when his mouth is on yours, hot and demanding as he slides his tongue past the seam of your lips. The heat radiating off his body is suffocating, but you welcome it—craving the weight of him on you.

You melt against him, feeling the hard planes of his body against yours, every inch of him alive and pulsating with need. Logan’s hands find their way to your hips, fingers digging in just enough to send a rush coursing through you.

It’s intoxicating, the way he devours you, his hands exploring every inch of your back, grasping and pulling you impossibly closer. 

The hard jut of his cock presses against your thigh, a thick plane of heat that makes your pussy throb with need. You shift your hips, grinding down on him in messy circles.

“You feel that?” he growls, lips brushing against your ear. “That’s all for you, darlin’.”

“Need you,” you whimper, grinding down against him faster, desperate for the friction that sends pleasure rippling through you. “Please, Logan, I need you inside me now.”

“Hold on, baby,” he murmurs, his voice low and husky, sending sparks all up your spine.

He dips his head, capturing your lips again, while his hands roam hungrily down your sides, fingers curling around your thighs to urge your legs open wider. “You wanna tease me, you’re gonna have to get off just like this.”

Logan angles his hips so that his cock slips between your drenched folds the next time you roll your own down.

The hot, slick glide sends electric shocks of pleasure racing through you, your body responding instinctively to his touch. You gasp against his lips, fingers tangling in his hair as you push down, desperate for more.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ wet,” he growls, his voice dripping with lust as he watches your movements with hungry eyes. “Just for me, huh? She’s droolin’ just for me.”

You nod breathlessly, chasing the friction, craving the feel of him so close. You lift your hips and rock back down again, the blunt head of his cock brushing against your swollen clit, and you feel your body pulse in response. 

“More,” you plead, leaning in to nibble at his lower lip. “I need it.”

Logan pulls away, shaking his head with a wicked grin. “Come on, tough shot,” he says, giving your ass a quick smack and kneading the tender flesh in his hand roughly. “You’re gonna come like this, you can do it baby.”

You whine, dropping your chin to your chest. Your hands find his shoulders, nails digging crescent moons into the strong muscle. Your chest slips slickly against his, the front of your tank almost entirely soaked with sweat.

Yours or his, it doesn't matter. The white cotton turned transparent enough that your breasts are on full display, nipples hard and visible.

You watch a single bead of sweat make its way down the length of his throat. It trickles down and down and down until it dips between the pronounced muscles of his chest.

You duck your head, dragging your tongue up the valley of his pecs. A deep moan bursts from your lips, pussy drooling more slick over Logan’s cock at the coarse feel of his thick hair on your tongue, at the heady taste of his sweat filling your senses.

Logan groans, hands tightening their hold on your waist. The dull ache his strength leaves behind is enough to let you know that two hand shaped bruises will be blooming over your skin by tomorrow morning. 

“Come on, girly,” he encourages, nipping at the sweaty column of your throat, the sharp points of his teeth scraping along the sensitive skin deliciously. “Fuck me, give it to me good.”

Your hips speed up, his hard cock sliding through the slick folds of your cunt faster. The tip bumps against your clit deliciously with every move, smearing pre-come along the way to add even more to the mess between your legs.

“Gonna fuckin’ fill you up,” he groans, breath puffing warm and hot agasint the slick skin of your lips. “Pump you so full of my come you’ll be leakin’ for a goddamn week.”

He shifts underneath you, the tip of his cock catching on your entrance just enough for it to push inside on the next grind of your hips.

The barely there fullness has you coming with a sharp cry, nails roughly dragging down Logan’s back hard enough to leave red welts that heal as you go.

The pain mixing with the pleasure of finally getting to feel the warm, wet suction of your pussy has Logan coming with a rough shout of your name. He throws his head back, hands tightening their grip on your hips enough to have your bones grinding together as he pumps you full of his come. 

“Logan…” you mewl, your pussy fluttering over the tip of his cock, greedy little clenches like you're trying to suck him the rest of the way in. Drunk on the way his release paints your insides, how you can feel each thick spray coating your walls to claim you in the rawest way.

Logan pulls back just far enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dark and smoldering as he watches you squirm in his lap.

"You’re not tapping out on me already, are you?" he teases, his voice rough and gravelly. "I thought you were tougher than that."

A weak, breathy laugh escapes you, but it’s cut short when he applies just a little more pressure, making your thighs quiver. "Not tapping out," you manage between shallow breaths, your head falling back against the chair. "But you’re—fuck—you’re insatiable."

Logan smirks, leaning in to nip at the sensitive skin of your throat, his teeth scraping just enough to send shivers coursing through you.

"When it comes to you, baby?" he murmurs against your skin, the heat of his breath fanning over your pulse point. "Fuckin’ always."

A lazily smile takes over your lips as you tighten your core and push, the rest of Logan’s come leaking out over his fingers. Logan groans, pressing his forehead to your shoulder to try and ground himself.

His cock throbs where it sways heavily between his thighs, still hard and ready to go even after he just came. His hand slips down your body, thick fingers running through the creamy mess of come and slick to messily push it back inside you.

“Fuckin’ shit, honey,” he groans lowly, pressing his thumb to your clit. “You’re gonna kill me.” 

Before you can respond, he stands again, gently placing your trembling form back into the chair and dropping to his knees in front of you.

Your breath hitches, legs widening despite the way your pussy shakes with overstimulation, like you can’t help but spread your legs for Logan anytime he wants.

Logan smirks up at you from between your legs, his lips already ghosting over the inside of your thigh. "Look at you," he growls, voice low and filled with lust. "Still so needy."

The slick heat of his tongue runs along your folds, lapping at the mess he just made of you. You let out a sharp gasp, thighs trembling as your fingers weave into his hair, tugging him closer.

The sensation is overwhelming—the rough, demanding pace of his tongue as it swirls around your clit, teasing you, while his hands grip your thighs with bruising force. Keeping you exactly where he wants you, keeping you spread open for his tongue.

Your body arches off the chair with a loud cry, every nerve alight with raw pleasure as he feasts on you, his growls vibrating against your sensitive skin.

"Fuck! Logan," you moan breathlessly, head falling back as you try to keep up with the sensations he's pulling from you.

The heat that was pooling low in your belly reignites, stoked by the way his tongue flicks faster against your clit, each stroke sending you higher.

Logan doesn’t let up, his tongue delving deeper, drinking in every moan, every shaky gasp as he drives you closer to the edge. He moans into your pussy, his own arousal clear in the way his hips buck into the air, seeking any kind of friction.

You tug on his hair harder, desperate for more, for release. "Logan, please," you whimper, your voice barely above a whisper, thick with need.

"Atta’ girl," he rasps, his voice thick with desire as he watches your face contort with pleasure. "So fuckin’ pretty like this. You gonna give me another one, baby? Gonna come for me again?"

Every lick, every rough squeeze to your thighs, every teasing stroke sends you spiraling closer to that edge you’re dying to reach again. You can feel the heat radiating off him, his breath hot against your soaked skin and driving you wild.

“Logan, I—” You gasp, fingers tightening in his hair, urging him closer, closer, closer. “I’m so close—”

His eyes flick up to meet yours, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, nose and jaw glistening in your juices.

"Give it to me," he growls, the rough rasp of his voice sending a shiver through your overheated body. "I wanna feel you come on my tongue."

It’s all the encouragement you need. With a strangled cry, your body tenses, thighs quaking as the orgasm crashes over you.

Logan keeps his mouth on you, tongue working you through every pulse, drawing it out until you’re trembling and gasping, your body boneless in the chair.

When you finally come down, panting and spent, Logan pulls away. With one last kiss pressed over your clit, he makes his way up your body, not dropping eye contact as he settles over you.

His hand comes up to your face, thumbs meanly hooking into either side of your cheeks to gently force your mouth open. You part your lips willingly, the heat still radiating between you, a mix of lingering pleasure.

Logan leans in, and the intoxicating scent of sweat and sex surrounds you as he spits what he collected from between your legs back into your own mouth. 

Your cheeks burn with shame, a broken moan ringing through the space between you. Your glassy eyes stare into Logan’s, his own gaze so intense and all consuming you fight the urge to squirm.

"Swallow," he commands, unwavering. 

You hesitate for just a moment, caught off guard by the pure audacity, but the way his eyes darken with hunger makes your resolve crumble. With a breathless whimper, you obey, tasting the remnants of your own pleasure mingling with his, the act both humiliating and intensely arousing.

Logan watches you closely, his gaze never straying as you swallow, a dirty smirk creeping onto his lips. “That's my girl,” he praises, his tone thick with satisfaction.

As the taste lingers on your tongue, you can feel the weight of Logan’s stare like a physical touch.

“Think you can handle another round?” he teases, his voice low and sultry. “I don’t plan on letting you off that easy, kid. Not with all that mouthing off earlier.”

You catch your breath, shaking your head in exasperation. “You’re relentless,” you whisper, a hint of laughter in your voice, though your body betrays you, already craving more.

“Only for you, baby” he replies, brushing the strands of hair plastered to your sweaty forehead behind your ear. “Only for you.”

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mini nat's note: i started my period today chickens...that explains it...

[taeyongdoyoung]

wicked game

summary: you try to seduce the unpopular virgin to win a bet with your stepbrother. your stepbrother wants to sleep with you and you want his car. but the virgin guy has more to offer... pairing: loser virgin!haechan x popular girl!reader genre: angst, romance, smut, high school setting warnings: the bet trope my beloved, manipulative stepbrother!jeno, ex-boyfriend!mark, innapropriate groping in school, one non-consensual cheek kiss, past man-eater y/n, lowkey corruption kink, lots of kissing, handjob, blowjob, eating out, attachment issues, protected sex (unbelievable), classmates to lovers, non-consensual photo-taking, breakfast in bed, break-up, no pain no gain author's note: this is loosely based on the movie Cruel Intentions minus the dying part; disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, i don't actually think Jeno is an A-hole, i just needed such a character for the sake of the plot word count: 3.7k

You're bored. Being the most popular, prettiest and richest girl in high school is not enough to satisfy your greed. Boys are literally throwing themselves at you in every corner. It's almost too easy. You want a challenge. Something to make the last year of school a memorable one. Something fun.

So, when your stepbrother Jeno presents you with an idea, you accept it eagerly.

"If you're so bored, why don't I propose a bet?"

"What kind of a bet?" you eye him curiously.

"See that guy Haechan? I heard he's a virgin and saving himself for his one ~true love~. How fucking pathetic is that?"

"So? What is it to me?" you scoff, though you already have a feeling where this is going.

"If you manage to seduce that fucking loser, I'll give you my Jaguar."

"Oh, that's very tempting," you smirk. "And if I don't?"

"Then, you'll sleep with me," Jeno whispers in your ear.

"Ew, as if. You're my brother," you make a gagging motion.

"Stepbrother," Jeno points out.

"Still, it's gross," you shake your head.

"Are you scared you'll lose?" Jeno sticks his tongue out.

"I haven't agreed to the bet yet," you answer.

But Jeno knows you too well. You are already thinking of ways to ruin that poor boy Haechan.

You approach him that same day, sitting on the empty seat on his desk. Asking him to do homework together...

"Why would I want to spend time with you?" Haechan spits out.

Ouch. Little one is too feisty for a regular loser. This might be more interesting than you initially thought.

"Why not? If you hang out with me, people will think you're cool," you try to attack where you believe it'll sting.

"So? Popularity isn't everything, you know?" Haechan rolls his eyes. "Besides, people who peak in high school spend the rest of their lives leading a mediocre, non-satisfying existence."

Damn. Pretty harsh. You didn't anticipate this would be so difficult. Oh well, all the more motivation to try harder.

"You admit it, then? That I'm at my peak right now," you smile flirtatiously, running a finger across his face.

"It doesn't matter to me where you think you are," Haechan glares at you, grabbing your finger and removing it from his skin. "As long as you get out of my face."

Gee, so aggressive.

"Did I ever do something to you?"

"No, but you messed with my best friend Mark's head. Leading him to believe you cared for him and then ditching him is so not cool. Now, piss off," Haechan grunts angrily.

You don't even remember half of the names of the guys you slept with. But you do remember Mark. He was really sweet. And if you could feel something at all, it would have been guilt. But back when you were with Mark, your mother had just announced she's getting re-married to Jeno's father. So, you were angry at everyone and everything. And you took it all out on Mark.

"Well, I can't change the past, so don't blame me without knowing the circumstances."

"It doesn't matter anyway. Mark found a girl much better than you who's treating him right."

"What about you? Got someone special taking care of you?" you touch him again, this time more forward and shameless, trying to elicit a reaction out of him. Sneaking your hand underneath the desk and caressing him fondly.

"It's n-none of your b-business," Haechan stammers but he doesn't remove your hand this time. Oh, he's so touch-starved this is going to be a lot of fun. For you.

"I could take care of you, you know? Turn all your wildest dreams into reality."

"I know what you are," Haechan shakes his head.

"A vampire!" you gasp in mock surprise.

"Ha-ha, very funny," Haechan fakes a smile. "You're a man-eater. You fuck around with guys and then you leave them to rot. I want nothing to do with you."

"Really? Then, why haven't you removed my hand yet?" you remind him, though perhaps you shouldn't have.

Haechan grabs your wrist, pushing you away firmly.

"You're wrong, you know," you try to convince him of your sincerity. "I'm just as eager to find someone who loves me. Someone worth staying for."

"And what, you expect me to believe that someone is me?" Haechan stares at you sceptically.

"Let's find out, shall we?" you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before he can escape.

And then, you let him be. Enough torture for day one.

You start interacting with Haechan every day. During the first month, you are consumed with thoughts of Jeno's bet. The abominable idea of sleeping with your stepbrother is enough to keep you going. Of course, you know he's not gonna force you into it. But you need the motivation to not lose the bet anyway. The gorgeous car is also pretty seductive.

During the second month, you are consumed with thoughts of Haechan. You begin to realize how lovely, clever and funny he is. And the fact he's even letting you spend time with him is enough to make you happy. You're no longer bored. Because everyday you have something fun to look forward to. You spend time at the school library, doing homework together, occasionally sending memes to each other. You go on little walks and picnics at the park. You even go to the cinema a couple of times, bonding over your shared love for horror movies.

During the third month, the miracle happens. Haechan decides he trusts you enough to invite you over to his place one evening. He even makes the point of notifying you that his parents aren't home. What does he mean by that? Is this an opportunity for you to finally seduce him?

Naturally, you don't get much homework done, before Haechan starts kissing you out of nowhere. You kiss him back eagerly.

"W-what are you doing?" you ask as you notice Haechan has started unbuttoning his jeans.

"I t-thought you wanted this. S-sorry," Haechan looks down, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. He's in a hurry to zip himself again. God, you feel so cruel.

"I d-do," you admit, no longer giving a shit about that stupid bet. "But I don't want to rush you into anything you're not ready for."

"So, you've heard about what I said at that fucking party?"

"What did you say?" you ask, even though you have an idea of what it involves.

"That I'm saving it for someone special," It being his virginity, you suppose. "Someone who loves me. To be honest, I was really drunk that night. I don't care all that much anymore."

"It's okay to have your principles, Haechan," you try to reassure him and stroke his soft hair gently. "I think it's pretty admirable, actually."

Haechan shakes his head, visibly disagreeing.

"Well, it's fine. I'm ready for this, I promise. Just...don't leave right after, okay?" he pouts.

"Oh, Haechan, of course I won't leave," you reply and surprise yourself in that you really mean it.

Kissing him deeper, you finish what he started and take off his jeans. You touch his cock softly, as if it's the most precious thing in the world. You've done this hundreds of time with guys you didn't give a fuck about and felt nothing, the actions methodical and quick. But this, right now, is more special than your limited vocabulary could ever describe. You realize you genuinely don't want to hurt him. You bow down and envelop your lips around his length. He gets hard easily, considering it's his first time. You suck on him a couple of times and he cums even faster than you anticipated. But for some reason, it's never tasted sweeter.

"S-sorry," Haechan mumbles shyly.

"It's okay, my sweet boy," you coo in his ear, after you're done swallowing his cum. You run your hands through his hair once again. God, it's so silky. You could never get enough of him.

"W-what do I d-do now?" he asks cutely.

"Whatever you want, mon ange," you kiss him once more.

"C-can I eat you out?" Haechan inquires.

Oh, so virgin boy is not so clueless, after all.

"Sure, I guess," you shrug. Not really a huge fan of that, the few times guys have offered, they quickly grow tired of it and could never make you cum as hard as you could by yourself. But it's okay. If Haechan wants to...

"Just...guide me, okay?" he pleads adorably and soon, you find out he needs no guidance at all.

What he lacks in experience, he definitely makes up for with enthusiasm. He seems so eager to please you, licking and biting and kissing your pussy that you cum faster than you have in...well, ever, actually. You grip his hair for support, panting and chanting his name like a prayer.

"Was that alright?" Haechan feigns a self-conscious smile, though judging by your reaction, his smile is already turning into a proud smirk. That bastard.

"Are you kidding? It was...out of this world," you say honestly. Funny thing about honesty is how something that used to be so difficult for you comes so easily to you when you're with Haechan.

"Glad to hear," he grins widely. You want to kiss him every second till the rest of your life. The thought terrifies you.

"I s-should go," you try to get up. You can't do this. You can't be the one to take his virginity. Considering how this all started. It'd be too cruel. He should be with someone special, someone loves him more than anything, someone who'd never hurt him.

"W-what, w-why?" Haechan asks, grabbing your wrist in a panic, not wanting to let go. "I thought you liked me."

"I do like you. I like you so much. That's the problem."

"It doesn't have to be," Haechan disagrees, pushing you back on the bed. "Please, let me."

And here you thought you'd be the one begging him to have sex with you.

"O-okay," you can no longer find it in yourself to deny him. To deny your growing feelings...

Haechan digs through his jeans and pulls out a condom. His hands are shaking and he's having a hard time putting it on so you help him and pull him out of his misery. You give him a soft, reassuring smile, paired with a quick squeeze of his hand. He smiles back just as fondly.

And then he slides inside you so easily. As if he belongs there. As if he's meant to be yours. You kiss him desperately to distract yourself from the truth. To hide the tears that are threatening to come out.

"You f-feel so g-good," Haechan grunts in your ear.

"So do you, baby," you admit sincerely.

This time around, he lasts longer, fucking you until your release comes for the second time. He cums right after, with his hands touching your cheeks, his lips on your neck and his heart on his sleeve.

"Wanna stay inside you forever," he whispers once it's over.

"That wouldn't be very practical," you chuckle. Though you would like nothing more.

But he gets up to get rid of the condom and then comes back, hugging you tightly.

"Can you be my girlfriend?" Haechan blurts out. "I know you probably don't like clingy guys but...considering you've been pursuing me for the past three months, I thought..."

"I'll be your girlfriend," you agree rightaway, not giving a shit about the consequences. "Of course, I will."

He laughs, the sound so precious and filled with joy it breaks your heart.

Maybe he never has to know how it all began. Maybe you could hide it from him forever. Maybe...you could allow yourself to be happy. Just this once.

Soon, Haechan falls asleep, feeling comfortable around you. You know what you have to do, but you feel like shit anyway. You secretly take a picture of his half-naked figure sleeping soundly. You sigh quietly and send the photo to your stepbrother Jeno.

Then, you put your phone down, trying to forget about the whole ordeal. You cuddle up next to Haechan and enjoy his warmth until you fall asleep.

The next morning, you wake up before Haechan and quickly run out to make him some breakfast. You have no idea when his parents will be home but you don't want this to be their first impression of you. So, you leave the breakfast on Haechan's nightstand with a little note.

See you at school, boyfriend! XOXO, Y/N.

Rushing back home, you are satisfied when Jeno gives you the car keys to his Jaguar without protesting. Your stepbrother may be kinda freaky, but at least he's a man of his word. What gives you the creeps is the slight smirk on his face as he hands you the keys. As if he didn't lose the bet. As if he's the winner.

You try not to think about it too much, as you get dressed for school, excited to see Haechan again. You still can't believe he asked you to be his girlfriend. That pretty, sweet boy makes you so unbelievably happy. You look forward to spending more moments in his sunny company.

Haechan wakes up to the smell of warm pancakes, covered with chocolate and strawberries and accompanied by coffee. It immediately brings a smile on his face, which only becomes wider as he sees the little note you left him. He giddily enjoys the breakfast and then rushes to get dressed for school. You're his girlfriend! He's never had a girlfriend and he's so pleased you're being so nice to him. Maybe you really are better than people say and all that past drama was just everyone being jealous of your beauty and popularity...This is going to be the best day of his life.

But when he gets to school, everything changes. He knows that he's considered one of the "losers" in the hierarchy but usually people just ignore him and don't pay attention to him. He's fine with that, really! But today, whenever he walks by, people are snickering and whispering something. It feels so weird and makes him uncomfortable. He can't quite hear what they're saying and this kind of unexpected treatment is killing him.

He goes to his friend Mark to ask him what's up.

"Bro...I don't know how to tell you this," Mark looks away, as if the thing is so bad he can't even say it.

Haechan impatiently begs him to just enlighten him as to why everyone is giving him weird looks all day.

Mark sighs and shows him a secreenshot. There, he sees a photo of himself, half-naked and sleeping soundly. Fuck, that's from last night. And what the messages between you and your stepbrother Jeno reveal...shocks Haechan out of his senses. No...no way it was just a bet. No way you spent three months courting him for a fucking car?! This can't be true. It's gotta be Photoshopped or something.

"Listen, buddy, I warned you that she likes messing with guys and then leaving them."

"No, she...she really seemed to care about me," Haechan is still in denial as his vision becomes blurred with tears.

He runs away, unable to believe what is happening. He needs to speak to you. Hear it from your own lips. To be sure this is real and not just a sick joke.

When he finally finds you, he grabs your wrist as he did just yesterday. But this time, he's not doing to get you to stay. But because he's furious.

"Is it true? Did you really make a bet with Jeno on whether you can fuck me? Did you seriously do all of that over a car?!"

Your facial expressions are enough of an answer. Guilt. Something you never thought you were capable of.

"H-haechan, I swear I can explain," you beg him to hear you out.

"Explain? How can you explain that?" Haechan shakes his head, letting go of your hand. You try to touch him again but he shoves you off furiously.

"It was just a bet at the very beginning. But somewhere along the way, I really started having feelings for you, I promise," you cry passionately. "I don't care about the car, I'll fucking thrash it, I just wanted to get Jeno off my back."

Haechan takes a step back, feeling so betrayed. So...used.

"Whatever you say, I don't think I can believe you anymore. Was it fun, at least? Was this all just a wicked game to you?"

"N-no, it wasn't, I swear it," you are bawling at this point, feeling so pitiful. You don't care if the whole school sees. You only care that Haechan understands. You never meant things to go this far... "I truly care about you, Haechan."

"Yeah?" he scoffs, annoyed. "You only care about yourself."

And with that he leaves. And you lose the one person you truly, genuinely loved.

This is the worst day of your life.

Throughout the rest of the school year you don't dare approach him again. You know you fucked up so badly. You can't even look at that stupid car, let alone consider driving it, so you sell it. Partly because you're angry at Jeno for spreading the screenshot around the whole school. Partly because you no longer want to have anything that will remind you of the biggest mistake you ever made.

With the money you get for the car and some of your own savings, you secretly sponsor Haechan, Mark and their other friends' singing club. You don't even want Haechan to find out. It just...feels right. They could use the extra help.

As the final year of school nears its end, you begin to imagine a future where you never get to see Haechan again. At least, during the past couple of months you had the privilege of looking at him from a distance. But the idea of a world with no Haechan is like a world with no sun.

So, you decide you have to do something as soon as possible. He doesn't have to forgive you or accept you as a girlfriend again. You just want to be in his life in some form.

As you approach the school's radio booth, you feel all the bad things of your past coming back to bite you in the ass. Maybe you deserve to be forever alone. But you need to give it a try. It's your last chance.

"Hi, Mark," you greet your ex-boyfriend.

"What do you want, Y/N?" he sighs, not at all happy to see you.

"Before I get to that, let me just say how sorry I am for the way I treated you in the past. I'm really happy you're finally with someone who appreciates you for how totally awesome you are."

"That's...unexpectedly nice of you to say," Mark eyes you suspiciously. "We were never right for each other anyway. So, what do you want?"

"I want to apologize to Haechan. Through a message broadcasted to the whole school..."

"Gee, and you couldn't do it the old-fashioned way, face to face?" Mark jokes.

"Haechan doesn't wanna see me," you say, fully convinced.

"How would you know without trying?" Mark asks. Has...Haechan told him something? No, you couldn't allow yourself to hope.

"I just know, okay? Please, let me do this. We're graduating in one week, this might be my last chance to talk to Haechan."

Mark nods, agreeing.

"Five minutes," he takes off his headphones and vacates the seat in the radio booth for you.

"Thank you! I mean it," you have never been more grateful for anything.

Mark shrugs as if it's not a big deal and leaves you to it.

"I want to dedicate this so someone I hurt," you speak into the microphone. "Someone who didn't deserve it. Someone very dear to me. Someone I still care deeply about. Haechan, I'm so incredibly sorry, please, give me another chance."

And you start singing.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you It's strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

Your voice is off-key a couple of times and halfway through the song you start crying inconsolably, all the guilt and pain consuming you. The whole school is probably laughing at you but you can no longer bring yourself to care. The only thing that matters is that Haechan hears this.

When you finish the song, you leave the radio booth and are surprised to find Haechan right outside the door, willing to talk to you.

"H-haechan," you stammer and barely resist the urge to give him a hug. You don't want him to feel pressured or anything.

"I'll give you a second chance on one condition. I want Jeno's Jaguar," Haechan jokes.

"Too bad, I already sold it and donated the money to your music club so you guys can get new instruments and stuff."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Haechan exclaims. He doesn't sound angry, though, just...shocked.

"Sorry, sorry, I know it wasn't my place. But it was so unfair the football team and the cheerleading team get so much money but no one cares about the arts."

"Okay, okay, I guess this is better than that ugly car," Haechan chuckles. The car is not ugly. Not even a little bit. But you appreciate Haechan all the more for saying that.

"Can you really forgive me?" you ask desperately, eyes still watery.

"I can forgive you but I'll probably never forget," Haechan admits with a sigh. "If you break my trust again..."

"I won't, I swear!" you vow seriously. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you and treating you the way you deserve. You're the best person I've ever met, Haechan. If you'll have me, I want to be around you forever."

"Forever is a long time" Haechan muses out loud. "Considering we're going to college...I don't even know where you're applying."

"I'll go wherever you go," you say hurriedly.

"You can't give up on your dreams just for me, though."

"I'm not. You're my dream, Haechan. You're my sun and I want to be in your orbit. If you'll allow me, that is," you can't take it any longer and hold his hand softly, asking, begging for that second chance not to slip away.

"I'll allow it," Haechan smiles sweetly. "Let's run towards our dreams together, from now on."

"I won't let you down," you promise from the depths of your heart.

And you finally, truly mean it.

The End

[moonydoodlez]

ok the art you sent me has me spiraling but imagine getting it on with alastor maybe hes a little pissy or whatever so he’s extremely in the mood to bite EVERYWHERE and i think we all know its not weak little bites its hard bites especially if hes in a bad mood and definitely hard enough to draw blood and then be starts swiping that blood up with his finger coating them with your blood and drawing little smiles (especially smiles its literally alastor) and hearts all over especially on the readers face

My Painting

Pairing: Alastor x F!reader

Warnings: Alastor being horny and lowkey a vampire, accidental housewife kink oops, if you hate blood dont read this

Word count: 765

There wasn't much light shining through the windows anymore as you sat on the counter waiting for Alastor. You took in the smell of the home baked muffins in the oven as you looked out the window as the sun set. The front door slammed shut making you jump off the counter and you waited patiently for him to notice you standing there. He finally walked into the spot where a little bit of light shined on him. You took in his disheveled clothes with rips and the light traces of blood across his whole body.

“Well how was your day?” You joked as you looked him up and down turning on the overhead light so you could get a better look at him.

He rolled his eyes, muttering to himself. Something about some evil tv man and how he wants to kill him so badly. You stared at him with a soft smile as he continued muttering to himself. He looked like a child who was told no for the first time as he began pacing around.

“Hon” You say, getting his attention as he finally took you in. An apron hugged your waist as you wore a white baby tee that stuck to every curve of your body and jean shorts. He smirked, taking long strides toward you.

He pushed you against the kitchen counter as he stared down at you like you were his prey. His hands slowly wrapped around yours as he pinned them behind your back leaning down to gently bite your earlobe.

“God look at my little housewife” His staticy voice said, breaking the silence that had previously been there. His hands let go of your wrists but instead he set a firm grip on your hips. “I didn't even know you had this,” He said, pulling at the strings that tied the apron behind your back. It slowly fell as your tight clothes were now on full display for him.

“Well usually i'm done cooking by the time you come home my love” You say as you move your hands to the belt loops on his pants moving him flush against your body. “But maybe I should wear it more often” You smirk, staring up at him. 

His eyes darkened as he brought his mouth down to your neck. It started out slow and sensual. His lips moving slowly nipping softly as he moved down your neck to your chest. The more you whimpered and withered under his touch he not only sped up but he began to bite harder. Finally as he reached your neck again he bit down hard. You moaned loudly bucking your hips into his as he bit down like a starved man

“Alastor jesus” You whimper as he backs away smiling watching the blood run down your neck. Instead of cleaning it up he bit down again on the other side of your neck. Blood began to spill down as you winced at the pain. You could feel it dripping down, you couldn’t tell if you were grossed out or incredibly turned on. Maybe both. 

The blood had finally reached your white shirt. “Oh no, my little housewife is a little dirty” He said sarcastically as he ripped it off your body leaving your top half naked as he stared intently as the blood spilled down your chest.

His hands reached up grabbing your boobs as the blood smeared across his hand and your chest. You could tell he had an idea as a sinister smile formed across his lips. He began to trace his name in your blood and many other vulgar words across your neck and chest as he continued biting to make more paint for his beautiful painting.

He soaked his fingers in the blood and made little smiley faces across your chest. You giggled as he drew little pictures in your blood. “I'm running out of blood” He pouted. 

Before you could even react to his words he was biting deeply into your skin causing you to yelp in pain. That was definitely leaving a scar or some sort of mark. Instead of light dribbles of blood it gushed out as he grabbed more blood and began to paint small hearts on your face. He looked you in the eyes as he licked one long strip across his whole hand, your blood now dripping down his chin as he sucked the blood off his fingers. 

“My beautiful little painting” He says before leaning in kissing you hard. The taste of his spit and your blood lingering in your mouth.

Masterlist Alastor Masterlist

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Further Celebrations

Word Count - 3200

Author's Note - I literally wrote this because these pictues of Matt at the parade did something to me. But since of life and starting/stopping this so much. I personally feel that it's probably the worst smut I've ever written. So if this the first thing your reading from my page please check out my other works. 🤣🤣 As always thank you for reading, I truly can't believe how much my blog has grown in such a little amount of time. 💞

Warnings - LOTS in general: dom!male/ sub!fem, daddy kink, lowkey breeding kink, unprotected p in v, as always for me LOTS of dirty talk, semi public sex (i think that is it if there are any I missed kindly send me a message and I will add it to the list)

Summary - something about watching Matt be a cocky asshole all day at the parade celebrating winning the Stanley Cup really does something to you.

Masterlist

You had no idea what it was, if it was just how cocky of an asshole Matt was being. Or maybe it was the fact that he was soaked in a mixture of beer and rain making his curls stand out more, which if you were sober you would think was kind of gross. But you’ve literally been pregaming since 10 AM, with Matt and the boys. Or maybe it was his shorts, leaving little to imagination. Honestly, it wouldn’t be the first time you sneak Matt into a random corner and have a quickie. But you were trying to be good and let him celebrate with his team one more time this week with the community at the parade about the fact they won for the first time in franchise history. Plus you knew this was the last time the team was going to be together before next season and who knew with free agency starting if this team would exist next season. But after hours of watching him walk around with the damn cup basically benching it above his arms, making his biceps strain. On top of how he looked so fucking hot with that cigar between lip fingers, beer in the other hand yelling at fans. Again his thighs on display, you knew that you wouldn’t last much longer without begging Matt to take you to the closet bathroom or storage closet. 

It was now 8 at night and the whole team was out at some random dive bar. The music was blasting and you walked over to Matt mid conversation with Evan. Slowly take your hand and slide it down Matt’s chest, as you lean up and lightly pout due to being extremely drunk.“Matt,can we go dance please.” you give him the puppy dog eyes you know that go directly to his cock every single time. 

“Yeah baby whatever you want.” obviously forgetting that Rodrigues was even standing there. As he let you lead him to the small make-shift dance floor some other players made by pushing some tables against the wall. He couldn’t his eyes as they watched your hips and curve of your ass move to the music as you walked further into the center of the dance floor. 

You turned around and Matt literally pushed you flush to his chest.His hands were going to squeeze your hips making sure you stay close. His face went to your neck as he spoke softly to you and to hide the fact that he was leaving small wet kisses between his words. “Hey…darling…you…look so pretty… right now.” Slowly inching closer and closer to your ear. You slowly turn your head to look at your boyfriend, his eyes piercing back at you.

“Your drunk Matty” you can’t help the giggle let out and small hiccups. As you turn around in his arms your ass purposely rubbing against his cock, his arms quickly pulling you closer as he snakes them around you. 

“Maybe…but so are you.” he whispers in your ear, but not before forgetting to spend extra time on that one spot on your neck. You attempt to turn around again but Matt’s arms tighten around you, obviously enjoying teasing the fuck out of you right now. 

“please Matt.” you whisper, closing your eyes, momentarily forgetting where you guys are lost in your own little world. 

“Hmmm” he lets out. “I’m not doing anything” he says in an innocent tone. Even without you seeing his face you knew he had a wicked massive smirk on his face. 

“Matty..” turning your head trying to catch a glimpse of his face. As you grind harder on him, but it’s useless because it’s only making your need for him grow. “pl- please.. I can’t wait till we're home.” you say finally catching his eyes.He finally lets you turn around connecting your lips immediately.Your hands trying to go to the nape of his neck reaching for the ends of his curls, attempting to balance on the balls of feet as you fight for dominance. Obviously failing in both as you feel Matt bit your lip a little harsher than expecting making you open your mouth open in surprise giving him the chance to slip his tongue in your mouth.His hands go to your ass as he feels you almost lose your balance. He squeezes and kneads your ass like he’s wanted to since he walked over here with you. 

You slowly pull apart to catch your breath after a few minutes. Matt’s hands don’t leave the curve of your ass, if anything they’re squeezing and kneading harder. “Tkachuk I am not being dramatic.” you say in the most serious tone he’s heard from you all day. The smile breaks out even further at his girlfriends 'seriousness.’ “But..” as you reach up to whisper in his ear, to make sure no one can hear you because you know you aren’t the most quiet when you're this drunk. “I have been thinking about all the ways you can make me cum in the bathroom before anyone even notices that we’re gone since we stepped foot into this bar.” As one your hands say in his hair pulling just hard enough to get a reaction. You can’t help but break out into a smile when you hear a small grunt from his lips. 

“Oh yeah..” practically picking up ever so slightly off the ground so his cock can stay perfectly lined up against your pussy and going back to attack your neck. “And how would that work, princess. ya gotta be a good girl.” as he bites your sweet spot behind your ear.

“Fuck matty please, i need to feel you, anything.” you whine.

“Anything???” he asks in a deep voice full of lust. 

“Please.” your eyes pleading with his eyes as they darken, filling with lust.

“Okay.” he says softly, pulling apart and going further to the back hallway. Thankfully no one was in the back hallway, when you both walked into the single stall bathroom.Not that Matt cared anymore only one goal in mind. As soon as you entered, he slammed you on the door locking it. 

“You sure you can get off…with anything?” he asks the devilish smirk still hasn’t his mouth and raises his eyebrows in a curious way as he backs away from you. 

“Please Matty, I'm already so close.” you beg as you reach for the zipper of your jean shorts.

“No.” he demands. But before you could ask what he meant. He answers for you. “Since you said you can get off with anything” as he steps forward, slowly picking up your Panthers' crop top pushing it up the bottom of your neck, to attack the top of your boobs. “Get off on my hand.” you reach for his hand to go inside your shorts. He lets out a sigh of frustration and backs away enough to look you in the eyes. “Damn it. Did you not hear me slut! Use my hand ONLY completely clothed. Grind on my hand and if you cum, then I’ll reward you with my cock. But if not.. then we're gonna be in here a long time baby girl.” as he goes to suck on the top of your left boob. Leaving small little nibs into between his next words. “A” nip “very” nip “very” nip “ long” time.” You’re practically a crying mess already as you reach to steady just on Matt’s bicep.

Closing your eyes trying to focus on the pressure his palm is giving you and turning into a whimpering mess. Each whimper makes Matt’s rock hard cock somehow even harder. Matt’s other hand holds you at your hip helping you find a steady rhythm. “ I am not that much of an asshole princess, I'll help you.” His eyes are also closing, moving his head to rest on the side of  your neck, so he can whisper to you. “That’s it baby, God you so fucking beautiful riding my hand like a good girl.” Your only response whimpering as you move your hips faster to the sound of his voice. As you can feel all of him against your thigh. Naturally by rocking your hips, moving your thigh. The only response from him being a sharp hiss, “fuck baby, your so good for daddy.” His mouth sucking on your neck sure to leave a fresh bruise you won’t be able to hide from your friends outside. Matt gives your pussy a little squeeze as he leaves your neck. Your hands immediately go to his curls as you feel him go on his knees. His head linking perfectly with the hem of your crop top. 

You open your eyes and look down at him through your eyelashes. As you feel that familiar knot in your stomach start to form.  “Please daddy, I need ya- you. i  - i can’t-” but before you can finish your whimpering attempt of making a coherent thought he stops you. 

“I wish I could, baby but you said you could.” you whimper in protest as a response. As his hand on hip helps you go even just a little faster. “You can get daddy’s help after you cum babygirl.” As he goes to the top of your thighs teasing you with wet kisses. “I can feel your wet cunt on my hand and your shorts are still on. Your close princess and then I promise you can have my cock however you want it.” His words being your final push to finally cum your hands leaving his head to squeeze your boobs, your nipples begging for attention. “That’s it baby. Ride it out on my hand, there yeah go.” As he leaves a wet kiss where your clit is through your shorts. Finally feeling your breath coming down to a normal pace. Your hands go back to Matt’s hair and pull him by his curls back up to you to share a kiss filled with nothing but even more lust than before. Once you broke apart Matt said “i swear to god that was one of the hottest fucking things I’ve ever seen.” as he kissed your check softly, teasingly grazing his teeth along it. 

“Matty..” you say pushing closer so you can grind down on his clothed cock. “I need you inside me.” you whisper in a way that makes Matt’s knees go weak. The way you literally had an organism less than a minute ago and you're already begging for his cock. 

“I don’t have a condom babygirl.” grinding his hips along with yours adding to the pressure trying to give both of you some relief. 

“Doesn’t matter” you mumble as your hands go under the back of his shirt scratching down the center of his back. While your mouth goes to the right below leaving his ear. “I don't care if you put a baby in me. I don’t care, I need you, please.” 

“Fuck you wanna be all swollen with my baby in you huh?” he carries you over to sit on the sink as he pulls down his shorts and boxers just enough to slip his dick out of. You slowly shimmy out of your shorts as he walks back over to you pumping his cock with the precum leaking out. “Fuck babygirl, i can’t believe your letting me go bare.” as you lean back on the sink, your shoulders leaning against the mirror to give him more access. He pulls your shorts and underwear down to only your ankle. So that he can spread your legs more apart to give him even more access to your core. Your palms naturally flatten on the counter behind you to keep balance.

Taking his cock and slowly rubbing the tip up and down your folds before slowly pushing it in. Both of you are having a hard time keeping quiet now. “Fuck Matty you feel so good” you let out a sound that’s a mix of a moan and a scream as he starts thrusting inside of you. His thumb goes to your clit, the circular motions matching to the speed of his thrusts. “Fuck daddy” as you arch your back even more. Your hands stretch further apart adding to the pleasure of the new angle. 

“Fuck baby” as he brings one of his hands to your throat, squeezing your throat just enough for the air to cut off to your brain for a seconds. The new sensation makes you feel nothing but pleasure. As you naturally clench your core due to the pure feeling of pleasure you feel lost in. It makes you wonder how long you're going to last. “You want a baby in you huh?” Only being able to shake your head yes. Obviously being the right answer. He pulls almost all the way out and then slams into you hitting your g-spot with thrust. He continues to repeat his deep thrusts as his hand on your throat continues to put slight pressure making your brian feel a good kind of fuzzy. 

Just as you were about to tell Matt that you were close as you were starting to feel the familiar knots in the pit in your stomach and the tingling all over your body. A loud banging comes on the door and a male voice on the side “yo, the other bathroom is out of order! Hurry the fuck up I gotta piss.” Matt’s hand that was on your throat going to your mouth, as much as he loved the sweet noises you made the idea of another man, especially a stranger hearing made his body tense. 

“Dude shut the fuck i’m busy take a piss in alley.” Matt yells back, not slowing down his pace at all. One of your hands going to his forearm knowing that you're leaving marks from deeply pressing your nails into his arm but neither of you cared in the moment.  Not sure if the man left from in front of the door, Matt talks in a softer tone. “God I can feel you clenching around me, you like that huh?” only responding in whimpers. Now leaning down to your ear “god you're such a fucking whore getting off on the idea of being caught in public huh? You like that another man can hear how good my dick makes you feel.” All you do is nod, but apparently that’s not good enough of an answer.

“Answer me princess or I swear I will stop.” slowing down his movements, already teasing stop as he removes his hand from your mouth.

“Yes daddy. I like almost getting” a sharp whine lets out of your lips as the speed of his thumb on your clit increases. “C -caught.” you whisper out. 

“Who’s the one who makes you feel this good huh?” he asks in a dominating tone ob

“ya you- daddy” you say another wave of pleasure taking over your body, “i- i am gonna cum.” you say throwing your head back.

“Uh uh uh what do you have to do, pretty girl.” his voice is deeper than you swear you’ve ever heard. “You know you gotta ask baby. Ask for me to let you cum and make you nice and full with mine.”

“Daddy please, please i need to cum i -, i need to be full with your cum please daddy.” you ask, tears spilling from your eyes as the pleasure is slowly becoming too much.

“You think you can be a good girl and go out there and sit all nice and full with my cum and no one will notice.” as he fastens his pace again, his thrusts becoming sloppier telling you that he’s close. You nod your head yes and his head goes to bite you softly on the flesh of your neck and shoulder. 

You both cry out a mixture of curse words and moans of pleasure. You swear you felt like you almost blacked out as you felt yourself let go. Your body must have been more overstimulated then you realized because you squirted all over Matt’s cock.

“FUCK” he screamed as his hot cum shot so far up your pussy you swear you felt it hit your g spot lightly. As both of your breathing returns back to normal, Matt lifts his head back up. “Have you ever done that before baby?” 

You knew he meant how you squirted all over. You look down feeling embarrassed all of a sudden “no.. i’m sorry matty i didn’t mean to.” He uses his index finger to lift your head so you're making direct eye contact. 

“Hey hey” he coos “don’t apologize ever! I swear that was the hottest thing that’s ever happened and I am so glad that I got to share that with you. His forehead resting against yours “let’s go home and see if we can make you do it again.”As looks down and slowly pulls out of you catching any juices that might go legs, putting them to his lips. “Hmm we taste good together baby, wanna try.” you give him a nod and he puts his two fingers in your mouth and you moan around them. 

Matt helps you stand and put your shorts back on as he slips his on as well. Before you even leave the bathroom he’s already ordering the uber to take it back to his house with one goal in mind making you squirt again. He unlocks the bathroom door pulling you by his hand leading you out the bar trying to sneak past everyone. But then you hear someone call him name. 

“Tkachuk” you hear Rodigez again, “dude i’m glad i found you remember you taking the cup home so you can drop it off at the arena tomorrow.” He said, trying to pass the cup to Matt. He held it with his arm so effortlessly like it weighed nothing, his hand still in yours. 

“Right, right thanks bro.” he says, pulling you out of the bar. As your walking to your uber he leans down to your ear “hey you know what would be really hot, fucking you from behind until you squirted again while the only thing you can grasp is the cup.” Your eyes widen as he continues to talk. “Wanna test my theory?” he asked as he ushered you both to the uber that just pulled up.

“For matthew?” the man asked as Matt opened the door.

“Yes.” he confirmed as he let you slide in first, then sitting the cup in the middle seat of the saden, finally sitting down himself. The uber driver immediately recognizes Matt and talks nonstop about how big of a fan he is. How happy he is that the Panthers won the Stanley Cup. All while Matt sneaked his arm behind the cup, up your inner thighs and lightly creased your clothed clit knowing you can’t make a single sound. 

Matt continued talking to the driver as if he wasn’t doing anything at all. Finally at a red light turning to you and leaning down to you. “You alright baby?” loud enough for the driver to hear.

“Yeah” you say trying to make your voice sound an even tone as he moves his fingers add a bit more pressure. 

“We'll be home soon. I know your tired bubs” he says as he leans down to whisper in your ear. “Too bad we're not gonna go to sleep.” A deep blush covering your face as Matt kisses your cheek as you think about all the possibilities for the night.

[justanotherhh]

What characters from helluva boss would the hazbin characters get on best with. I've seen fizz suggested for Angel and Millie for Alastor, but I've seen surprisingly little discussion of it.

Ooh yeah, funnily enough I don't know if I think that Millie would get on with Alastor that much -- I think his old-school Southern Charm might tickle her, but also lowkey she'd think he was.... kinda creepy (which, he is). Alastor would be charmed by her for sure! Her go-gettem take-no-shit attitude, her effortless sweetness, yeah. I think while I say "not get on" I don't mean necessarily in a bad way, just... cautious. Alastor has an ever-growing girl-gang around him, I could see Millie as part of it, but not like. the super friendliest

Fizz and Angel is such a no-brainer, seen a bunch of art and read some fic, these two have so much in common (showbiz! performance! abusive bosses! sex appeal! etcetc) I can't imagine them not getting on, and there's a bunch of scenarios where I think Fizz would want to help Angel out of a bad situation. yeah. there's not much more for me to say on this one that hasn't already been said

I think Cherri (who we don't know too much about in terms of various dynamics at the hotel yet, but I want her and Al to get on so badly....) and Millie would get on like a house on fire. and... set houses on fire. I also think Loona would be in awe of Cherri's whole Everything and Cherri would be kind of touched by the whole idea of "oh I'm a motherfucking Mentor now!!!!" (and they'd set houses on fire) -- but I think there could be a downside in that Loona has some anxieties around partying and drinking and while Cherri might be very helpful with the first in terms of confidence, I think the latter could go badly. but yeah. Cherri and Millie take out Loona. Millie keeps more of a watchful eye on her -- now I've written all of this, I think Millie would initially be quite taken with Cherri, but Millie is in the end a more caretaking person (not of herself, we've seen her and her sister out and about!) + as far as I can tell not super into drugs, so there could be friction there if Loona was in the mix. But it'd be a friction that ultimately works itself out

Verosika, I think, is another character who could get on with Cherri. Gosh I'm just building a Mean Girls extraordinaire group here. I think because both Cherri and Verosika are very Trash Pop Girlies (and I mean that only as a compliment) they'd have so much fun on the dance floor, they'd do karaoke together, lament shitty exes -- Angel would be there also, I cannot take Cherri out to the town and not include Angel. you know he's emo about Verosika's music + again, the showbiz connection there. Verosika so so drunk and so so earnestly telling Angel she's gotten off to his movies and he's incredibly flattered. Those three have a dream team feel to them. but watch out! (nobody to say when to stop)

Also I've written a bunch about Alastor and Striker getting on. that's my pet headcanon. aroace4aroace, both of them aplatonic and loveless, both of them with such an outsiders view of the world around them that they just... end up hanging out. they're not friends, gross, they're just people who understand the inherent terribleness of existence together over a drink every Tuesday

Charlie's difficult because she's at odds with so much of the jadedness that the characters feel in HB, but... I mean she and Moxxie and musicals is right there! I think it'd have the potential to be a very cute friendship that also provides an outlet for two very very nerdy people who frequently get judged by their peers for being rambly and overly sincere. Charlie would fuckin eat up Les Mis

Also I do like the idea that Asmodeus babysat Charlie when she was younger. nothing much to add here, just think that's Neat

Niffty! D'you know I think Niffty and Millie also? (Millie is also a Creechur) and maybe even moreso, Niffty and Sallie May? I think these sisters would be taken by the oddity that is Niffty and also feel a little protective over her. I think Niffty's habit of crawling on people she likes would be well-accepted by them and they'd encourage her hobbies. they might be a little surprised by her puppet shows, but all three of them enjoy sadomasochism

Stolas... I've seen some Stolas and Angel also, which I think would be interesting. They're both characters who are quite dissociated from their own bodily needs/wants and trying to learn about them (possibly for the first time), they've both experienced some identity-based punishment around being gay men, they've both got Style, albeit differently inspired. I think Angel might be taken by Stolas' overt constant sincerity, while Stolas... I mean firstly Stolas has also watched a couple of Angel's movies ofc, and so starts off being quite starstruck (they maybe both have this, considering Stolas is a prince) and Angel has a sweet side that takes ever less prodding to get out and I think faced with Stolas he'd take down his mask pretty quickly

Vaggie! I mean Vaggie is sooooooo difficult to get under the armour of. I think perhaps Sallie May would want to (hit that) know more about her/be quite intrigued and I think Vaggie would be pretty shy but taken with her forthrightness and once she's more comfortable Sallie May takes her hunting or something suitably violent like that. I choose in this scenario to forgo jealousy tropes, and go with Charlie is just super happy that Vaggie is making friends with similar interests!!! (the exclamation marks are Charlie).

Blitzo. Blitzooooooooooooooo. It depends on where in his journey he is I gueeess, but. Okay but what if Blitzo and Husk though, because they're both done-with-this-shit alcoholics who wouldn't need to talk, but also Blitzo is a drunk-talker and Husk knows how to get people to open up, because he's a bartender and Husk kinda feels for the guy, Blitzo's having the worst time and that sure is saying something considering Husk is literally enslaved by a deal. so Now I'm almost imagining this as one of Husk's good deeds, he talks to Charlie and the hotel takes Blitzo out for a good time

but honestly so many Blitzo dynamics would be fun here -- Blitzo and Charlie (unlikely besties, where Charlie's irrepressible optimism meets Blitzo's unstoppable depression and nihilism and he finds that he genuinely is trying not to swear around her out of politeness and it Unnerves him, but hey, you can't disappoint a kid who does puppy-dog eyes like that + her daddy's the king of hell), Blitzo and Niffty (there's a lil undercurrent of brother-gotta-protect vibes in both these shows and Niffty, for all her competency, is a Lil Creechur and Blitzo wouldn't want her to get hurt), Blitzo and Vaggie (fuck this afterlife), Blitzo and Angel (BLITZO HAS ALSO WATCHED HIS MOVIES, YES EVERYONE HAS WATCHED AND ENJOYED ANGEL'S MOVIES, and Blitzo wants to make a good impression... here comes my One Night Stand Blitzo And Angel Sudden HC. I think they would)

gosh there's still characters I haven't mentioned o-kay, knuckle down!

Sir Pentious and Moxxie -- both like machinery, both nerrrds, both dress similarly, both tinkerers, both prefer weaponry to hands-on fighting, both underestimated a lot, both very polite Gentlemen, both dating total Baddies Cherri and Millie (oh wait, there's an episode in this that ties to Cherri and Millie going out, where while the latter have a whole Arc, SP and Moxxie are just chilling so hard the entire time). Vibesssss

Octavia is another one I can see in a lot of configurations. Octavia and Charlie kind of a good one, princesses hanging out, I think initially there'd be a bit of personality friction, but I think Via could benefit from a Charlie in her life + they both have daddy issues. Via would also get on really really well with Vaggie I think, so if we've got a Cherri+Millie+Loona constellation, then we've got a parallel Charlie+Vaggie+Via one, where Vaggie kinda balances out the two very intensely in different directions energies and the three of them have a much quieter night, ultimately, than the other three (why is this all ending up as one big headcanon where everyone meets up and it's a party and some people go out and others stay in and there's a bunch of character development?)

Fizzie btw could go either way in this scenario. he has a foot in both worlds, but I read him as more of a homebody than a partygoer. he's just a very flamboyant homebody, so I think he'd prefer to do his nails with Charlie and Vaggie and Via than to go dancing/burning shit up with Cherri and Angel and Millie and Verosika and Loona. Stolas, I just realised, also hanging out and doing nails and the like, I think also good bonding time for him and Via + he and Charlie would bond over bursting into song and yearning

dyou think Alastor would be incredibly charming with Verosika also and she'd be a lil flustered by it? I want that too. like he kisses her knuckles and says he admires her work and it's a lil, oh boy oh boy (and then she asks Angel and Cherri what Al's deal is, like is he gay or what because she's been flirting with him all evening and nothing, and they're like *shrug* whatever his deal is, it ain't sex that's for sure and she sighs and says all the good guys are too busy committing atrocities, and Angel and Cherri squint, because her taste in men... clearly missing some Red Flags for her to respond to)

Octavia would be fascinated by Niffty also -- Niffty generally has the energy of that gina linetti meme in b99 where all the psychologists are hunkered around her desperate to study her:

whomst am I missing. Kinda skipping the sins+Lucifer, also the villains (minus Striker), and most of the tertiary characters. I think that's it then? *wipes brow*

feel free to add more thoughts/dynamics!

[tomriddlehyperfixataion]

Tom Riddle x reader - blurb/how you(blank) because i need to write SOMETHING

How you meet - During 5th year, its a simple paired potions assignment and you end up getting paired with Tom. he's polite and charming of course, one must be to gain allies, even if they are...less, in his view.

How you gain his attention- Oddly, you don't pay attention to him like most of the girls do(frtho we all be drooling over him and blushing), you just get your work done and be polite. it gains his attention because 'whomst? doesn't react to my charms and face? i must find out the cause'. mans likes a puzzle to solve.

How it starts- he starts hanging around to try and solve the puzzle of you, he wants to know everything, every weakness and every tiny piece about the person who caught his attention. he surmises that he'll lose interest at some point once he learns enough/gains your attention like the other girls always give him. but the longer he hangs around, the more...comfortable he gets. he finds himself gravitating towards you, not really realizing whats happening until its already too late.

How he realizes- during another potions class, Slughorn was reviewing Amortentia and Tom smelled a particular scent that had him reeling back-his eyes going wide and ears turning pink. it was your perfume/shampoo/cologne/body wash/whatever. a smell he had gotten way too acquainted with over the last few months. (yes it takes him literal months to get to this point he is not a love at first sight kinda guy, he has to have some sort of connection) and he has a bit of a breakdown-because haha-WHAT!?

What happens after the realization- He distances himself right away, practically cuts contact. doesn't look at you, doesn't speak to you unless he HAS to. just goes cold turkey. right away he misses you and is just like *AHHHHHHHHHHHHH* but internally...this only lasts about two weeks before he decides 'fuck i miss them' and just stares at you for a good while before he gains to courage to go up to you and start talking again. he keeps his cool, of course he does, but inside he is screaming.

How he confesses- its right before summer break of 5th year, yes he takes forever to confess and he does it right before everyone leaves for the summer, just in case he gets rejected and doesn't have to look you in the eye until the next school term. For once he's fumbling over his words and he cant keep eye contact, his face slowly turning red as you stare at him with a small smile. depending on how you react, he'll either leave with a hidden smile or the STUPIDEST grin he's ever worn, or will wear. the grin will be if you kiss him on the cheek.

When you both come back for 6th year- Oh-he is NERVOUS-he didn't even know he COULD BE nervous. his hands are shaking slightly and he cannot focus on anything he is just so nervous about seeing you again. he hides it well, blank face and everything, but he moment he sees you at the train station, and you smile at him, he cannot help but smile back because holy shit they like me back and i wasn't delusional

lowkey i hc Tom is insecure in relationships(genuine ones)

How he is in a relationship- it takes him a long time to get properly comfortable. pulls back from any pda and wont even let you hold his hand. you can hold his sleeve or something but hand? nope. he's just so unused to being touched in a loving way that he's-almost grossed out by it? but once he finally starts to settle? ooooh he is the cuddliest thing on planet earth. feral cat that felt the loving touch of their human and now will never let them go. pda is at a minimum but now you're always holding hands in some way, pinkies interlocked and everything. study dates are the main dates, but he wont mind a date at the three broomsticks once in a while, as long as you find a quiet corner to hang out in semi-privately. will help you with homework but has to be offered something(wink wink just kidding its candy.) Major! sweet tooth, you could make him commit murder with the offer of sweets(lets be fr he wouldn't need candy to commit murder) jealous! jealous jealous jealous! and possessive, no one is allowed to talk to you, not with out several interviews from Tom and being cleared after taking a written exam on why they wouldn't try anything on his boy/girl.

loves to see you in his hoodies/sweaters, thinks its the best way other than hickeys to mark his territory. will happily give up all his hoodies to make sure everyone knows that you're his.

side note; i see so many tik toks(Slytherin boys react n stuff) that make him super threatening and menacing and willing to kill during the Hogwarts years. like he's smart. really fucking smart. he wouldn't risk anything just for someone he cares a lot about, torture? yes. kill? no. he's not stupid. he's not going to get caught over a stupid boy who gets handsy. will he later kill that idiot after graduation? yes, but during school? when Dumbledore is around to keep an eye on him? no. he's not stupid. he's not a murder machine, he's homicidal not stupid.

Anyway back to the point

Other relationship stuff-

Would take a long time to get to the point were he wants to go past kissing, hell it takes him forever to kiss you for the first time-like legit three months into the relationship. he would do knuckle/hand kisses and cheek kisses here and there-but it takes months for you guys to kiss properly for the first time. but anyway's he had never been attracted to anyone before you and takes a long time to get sexually active with you, mans is a virgin-everyone makes him a playboy and i look at his ass and go 'that man has never touched a girl a day in his life'.

So he learns with you, once he starts? oh yes he goes full horn dog. he is insatiable! cant keep his hands off you in private/semi-private. is pretty vanilla at first but he finds a spicy book and is very intrigued. learns he has a breeding kink very quickly and is very into choke play and control.

First and last love, if you ever leave him(haha you wont), he will probably never get attached to anyone romantically ever again.

Very protective and will keep you out of his 'darker' business, like the chamber and his followers and plans, wants to keep you innocent, to have something that isn't total darkness and evil. now if you're into that kinda thing he wont stop you, but he will keep you away from it all just in case.

Cold hands-will warm them up between your thighs-thick or not.

Has naturally curly hair, and only lets you see it-everyone else gets the polished hair gel look. it took him months to let you see it-but once you proclaim your love for his natural hair-he makes it a point to let you see/play with it before he puts his gel in/after he washes his hair at night.

can and will fall asleep on you, esp. if you're playing with his hair or scratching his scalp/neck, arms fully wrapped around you and konked out, very cute panther lookin ass.

steals ur pillows and switches it with his(he has good pillows and washes his bed sheets/pillow cases routinely)

mayhaps have stolen one of your blankets...you're not getting it back.

will help you do any homework you have trouble with, might even let you copy his homework for a price(wink wink fr this time)

by the end of 7th year, and you're still together, fully plans to buy a ring and marry you. no doubts about it.

[coco-bee]

COCO’S REVIEW: RAMSHACKLE (PILOT)

Welcome to Coco’s Review! Where I review and breakdown episodes, movies and etc and overthink every tiny detail and/or give my thoughts and opinions :D

Today I’ll be discussing Ramshackle by Zeddyzi

Ramshackle is an animated pilot by online creator Zeddyzi that’s been in development since 2010 and has a thesis film, webtoon and now an animated pilot! (I’ll be discussing the Pilot)

It’s about three street rats Vinnie, Stone and Skipp who try to survive the grimy and gross streets of Ramshackle with their various scams and schemes while trying not to die!

The animation is really good! The characters have very expressive faces and sharp silhouettes! All the designs feel so angular and have a very warm color palette! Not to mention there’s the sorta coffee paper or brown paper texture to it that I really like!!

And it takes what Disney did during their Bronze Age with the scribbly line art and that scratchy kinda feel. (even using crosshatching)

I also find it interesting how the town of Ramshackle is set in its own universe and not sticking to a specific timeline with its mix of different vintage aesthetics mixed together! (in the creator’s words)

To me it feels a lot like a mix of the Great Depression and the Victorian Era!

The humor is a lovechild of early season Spongebob and Gravity Falls! Because this pilot is so fucking funny for no reason 😭

It just has so much visual comedy and dialogue that makes you go “Did I hear that correctly??”

I’ll be honest the plot isn’t perfect but the characters and humor easily makes up for it and makes things very enjoyable!! THE LITTLE DETAILS THEY PUT IN THE BACKGROUND JUST CRACK ME UP WITH EVERY REWATCH!

These are some of my personal favorite details but it’s more fun to spot them yourself!!

I also want to talk about Maggot who is a baby the trio found and decided to try and raise!

I’m not going to spoil the ending BUT MAGGOT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!

I love how they didn’t go with just the dumb baby trope with Maggot- I swear he is such an entertaining part of the pilot I’m a little sad he probably won’t appear in the series again 😔

And just the comedy they got out of him is so great I love him smm

The main trio are just as entertaining!

They complement each other so well!! The way they bounce off each other and have very different personalities but the same goals

I’ll get this out of the way VINNIE IS SO DAMN HOT ARGHHH LIKE AAAAA I LOVE HER SMM- Shes so badass and lowkey reminds me of Grunkle Stan personality wise

Stone is basically the mandatory emo boy but now hes upgraded to main character- I love his unlimited supply of alcoholic drinks and I hope tumblr loves him

Skipp is just underrated imo 😭 I love how he has a heart of gold but he also doesnt mind scamming people (he has no other choice anyway

The way theyre so caring with Maggot just warms my heart<33

THEYRE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND GROUP I CANTTT

Anyway there are only a few complaints I have- some of the jokes can be hit or miss and it gets a bit chaotic which can possibly be a little overwhelming. Bug I want to talk about the “scam” aspect of the main premise, I feel like the webtoon explored that part of the trio’s lives much better than the pilot. They could’ve done a lot of interesting scams with a baby but applying him to a baby pageant isn’t really a scam.

The obvious commentary on the high class’s treatment of the lower class feels a bit on the nose in my opinion (like it feels almost too obvious) but doesn’t spoil the experience. Like I said the humor and character still make up for it!!

I highly recommend this pilot and series!!

Congrats to Zeddyzi and their team for bringing this year long project to life!

This is Coco typing… Thank you for reading!

[yaccbs]

and at last, act 3 thoughts. there's a lot of them

lmao rip jayce who has to suffer through hell while heimer learns KEYTAR?? im sorry that's the funniest shit. like heimer is fully prepared to just live in Happy World forever, too bad so sad main universe

part of annihiliation-universe-jayce's fingers stay attached to the hammer when they give it to beard jayce. gross but cool detail. also liked how the record at the very beginning of the ep was ekko/powder instead of vi/jinx

i did enjoy AU ekko adventure overall, it's just too bad there wasn't more episodes because the whole time i was like this is coming at the cost of the main plot/real cast. exploding heimer was gross. silco and vander were even more gay. i like that benzo got some scenes. AU powder/ekko was cute

also the moment heimer disintegrated was the moment i went oh. so there is no plot armour after all for the LoL mains. which i had not expected tbh, so that nicely ratcheted up the suspense for me

it's weird to me cloaked-viktor revealed himself immediately to jayce only to disappear for like...weeks? months? years? while jayce ate raw salamander to survive? like could y'all not have had this conversation sooner

while vi gets to do a little bit more this arc and has some cool moments she still gets the most shafted imo. like having AU powder be the one to monologue about why vi fights was just...i would like to hear this coming from vi herself? her fight with caitlyn took all of 30 seconds. zero acknowledgement of her months of alcoholism. even her final scene with cait just she just seemed very passive and there's no bridge between her being devastated at losing jinx and vander vs how okay she seems at cait's house (and where she is once again drinking)

MEL. mel was so good man. without her everyone would have been truly fucked. i love that she also out-played shapeshifty black rose person. if the spinoff happens and features noxus i hope we shall see her again

although idk where exactly she was when it shows her walking outside but did she have to like...walk back to piltover? how long did that take. what was the timeline here

i really loved ambessa as a villain, and her fight with cait and mel was great. when the music kicks in as she walks up the steps i was like lets gooooo. i lowkey wanted her to survive somehow so she could go be evil in the maybe spinoff

loris' death sure would have been more impactful if he actually had like...done anything in act 2 to establish his character more lmao

honestly i wish maddie wasn't some secret agent, just makes it very convenient for the ex to be eeevil. however the line "i did appreciate your warmth" or whatever was so fucking savage lmao

i did not expect cait/vi to fuck in a prison cell of all places, but you get it ladies

poor skye gets to die not once but twice thanks to viktor science

i did not expect viktor/jayce to be so gay still at the end, but there ya go. not sure if dead or what but they sure are partners in apparently every universe!

"there are beauty in imperfections" no offense jayce but that's easy for you to say when you weren't the one with untreatable tuberculosis or whatever lmao

tbh didn't really need yet another vi/jink vs warwick fight. jinx also seemed to whiplash from extremely suicidal to "always with you sis". but nice musical callback to the suicide montage during her sacrifice at the end and the zero gravity thing was cool

not sure why exactly ekko didn't get rope-de-roped at the end like everyone else? was it just because he was unconscious at the perfect moment?

that said i get the vibe that cait at least thinks jinx survived based on the scene where she's scrolling through the archives

the only true winner of this whole series seems to be...singed. lmao

tldr i still had an absolute blast with the series as a whole, animation throughout was unquestionably gorgeous, i just wish characters hadn't suffered so much from too short a runtime. now i just need someone to write fanfic of all the missing scenes i have in my head so that i don't have to thanks

[storiesofsvu]

Bruh… I had to pause 911 right as a bridge collapsed with the entire 118 on it, tonight’s eps better be good LOL.

Also don’t blame me if I have minimal notes tonight I’m watching while detangling my mess of a hair (don’t be like me and throw your still damp, naturally wavy hair into a bun and then keep it in buns all week for two weeks back to back, it isn’t fun.) (updated: it was not as bad nor did it take as long as i expected lol)

Damn. That was a quick opening…

“sprinkles on top” was a very dinozzo delivered line… classy

This husband has definitely been on svu before

My firestick remote is fucking fucked… i either need to replace it or it got wet or something. It stopped working yesterday, I swapped the batteries and it was fine until just now when it crapped out again. I fucked around and moved the batteries back and forth and it started working again but like wtf…

Man… people are fucking stupid. If you’re going to be caught on camera breaking a law… maybe don’t wear something that is labelled with a company/sports team/brand/etc that can be traced back to you… (then again, people are literally recording themselves committing crimes and posting them on tik tok so… I dunno what I expected LOL)

Why not get the KID out rather than try and take the bag outside?

Ah yes, the classic “12 years of classic school” line drop earlier in the episode for the same cop to “identify” with the perp and talk him down during confrontation.

I’m REALLY happy with the addition of Nick and mccoy being gone. Because when it was mccoy and Nolan vs Samantha she was NEVER listened to or heard, they’d just like, scoff and ignore her/say she’s being too passionate or shit. But with nick he weighs both of their sides, explains it to the other in a way they can understand (aka talking to Nolan isn’t like talking to a wall lol) and generally backs sam and I really like that about this dynamic.

When is sam gonna be able to work a case on her own? Someone hire hugh dancy for another small gig so he needs time off lol

Woof, asking the husband to do this is a BIG thing.

This is a super intriguing and controversial case. Like, when a baby is born/killed/pregnant woman is beaten and the baby is found dead (or any of those kind of cases on svu) it’s always considered murder of the baby if they took a breath outside of the womb, meaning they’re breathing on their own. Currently the vis is NOT breathing on her own cause of machines, so the same notion should apply… (which is lowkey what they’re going for with this case)

LOL not my brain going right to Barba on the “nurse who yanks the plug on a ventilated baby and the judge says no charge”

“Dr Calhoun” the way I literally just SCREAMED. How tf did you have RITA CALHOUN on your show literally 2 weeks ago and name another character with the same last name this week. Come ON.

Im lowkey surprised Nolan didn’t lose his shit all “WHAT did you do?!” even though it was in their favour.

Oh I spoke too soon. “as long as you can sleep at night” COME ON

Ah yes, here’s the rest of the emotional backstory of the character to explain their motivations/opposing views. (as I was LITERALLY saying, “we know nothing about these characters personal lives”)

But like, ACTUALLY. We know that the one detective is married with kids, I don’t think Shaw is, we don’t know much/if anything about him. Nolan as far as I remember is single, now we know about his dad. Sam’s sister was killed and the perp never sentenced/found. We know little to nothing about Nick as of now….

Okay SVU time!

The way that scene jump was cut I literally thought that was hannah’s brother with her phone or something, or worse that THEY were texting. That was a bad editing choice.

Ewww gross this dad is terrible

“I thought we told each other everything” bruh. I’m sorry but in EVERY parent/child relationship there is ALWAYS going to be a time when you stop telling each other everything. Esp if/when it comes to sex and personal relationships…

JEEEESSSEEEE

Waiting for the time when Jesse looks to sonny and is all “so you’re not my real dad, but do you know who?”

I understand carisi wanting to go off to confront this creep, but to also leave jesse alone on a street corner in NEW YORK when she’s completely distracted with her brand new cell phone and not paying attention to her surroundings. Like… soshine, amanda will literally rip you apart with her bare hands if something happens to the girls on your watch…

Amanda’s new job keeping her travelling a lot is the perfectly lazy excuse to have her mentioned but not back on the show full time lol. Though it very much leaves it open to guest star roles so… I’m down.

As if Jesse is already NINE like that is wild (it’s wild because I didn’t watch the entire series when it aired and marathoning it lol)

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE OTHER TWO. I swear to GOD if they’re not in this week I will fight someone

Oop. Personal fact from curry tonight too. Okay, she’s got son(s), but I don’t think she’s married?

Why are there no lights on in this house?

Woof. Dad RIGHT on there with the lawyer, that’s SUSPICIOUS. (honestly, no its not you should never talk to the cops without one lol, but in this case… suspicious…)

“there’s no Romeo and Juliet clause in new York” I’m sorry.. WHAT? How many old episodes include that clause on why it’s NOT a case?! Wtf??

“yeah…okay…” *warning glance* is classic olivia for “please shut the fuck up”

Christ… talking about the first time you’ve ever had sex not just in front of your mom but two other adult women… like I know they’re helping her, she knows they’re trying to help her but it’s still SO awkward

Yeah I think liv was right.. carisi’s a little too rough in this interview. His parents already immediately lawyered up, you need to sweeten this boy up gently and not accusatory to get him talking

“don’t allow pornography in our house” ma’am, there are ALWAYS gonna be ways around that…

My heart just MELTED (and my uterus exploded) at the way Joe said “I want them” about kids. Don’t even care if that was a tactic… (cause I do believe he wants them but I also believe it terrifies him)

IS THIS GUY SERIOUSLY TRYING TO BRIBE A FUCKING COP??? JEEEESSSSUUUSSS

Jfc joe is so fucking hot

“said he saw it online” uhm…carisi are you DEAF?! The older kids on the (rugby?) team told/showed him that girls liked it.

JEEEESUS. BAD COP JOE AND BAD COP KATE IN ONE INTERROGATION?!!! My bisexual ass CANNOT

THE DAD fucking showed him the fucking porn?!?! JESUS. Uggghhh

Why did NO one react to the “he tried to bribe me” comment. Isn’t that a fucking federal offence??

“I didn’t hear that” classic ada line. Bless you carisi.

“yeah that sucks” LOL

They cast these cousins super well cause I legit thought they were the same kid for a second

FUCK joe’s so hot

“he’s got daughter’s, any half decent father would feel the same” not carisi getting the stabler treatment in 2024

I understand the boys being held responsible, but what about the cab driver that hit her?? like a good defence lawyer of the boys could deflect it to him…

I have yelled too many times tonight… but joe in that tight white tee? PLEASE

Im sorry, no matter how much of a lawyer sonny is, he is NOT a whiskey or scotch drinker. Especially not straight up. Like, it’d be mixed with something.  (the proof is canon. We saw liv take a sip but not him)

Anyways, okay so tonight’s eps were good!!

Anyone know when OC’s supposed to start? Cause I miss those babies…

as usual, feel free to hit up the dm's/ask box to discuss tonights eps (or any other ones! <3)

[starrbar]

Alright, I was encouraged by the smol family of HeroKel shippers on here, so now that I have my ass in order, here's the Headspace Abuse AU I spawned out of some horny energy last month. xD

CONTENT WARNINGS: Physical abuse, neglect, gaslighting(?), spiders, brocon/incest if you choose to see it ;3 Also spoilers for Omori!

If you stumble across this post as someone who despises this kind of content, I sincerely apologize for that. I don't intend to main-tag this, but I'm not 100% positive how tagging works on Tumblr anymore. The Read More should cover that though. Have a nice day!

In one of the playthroughs of Omori I really like, they have this ongoing joke where Kel is just bullied all the time, especially by Hero and Aubrey.  Every time Kel says anything, Hero says stuff like, "Kel, I'm going to BEAT YOU when we get home" or "Ohh Keeeel, I'm getting the BELT!!" and it's just met with Kel screaming, "NOOOO NOT AGAIN PLEASE!" and everyone's laughing about it and stuff.  And man, I'm REALLY not usually into any kind of incest kinks (just personally not my thing), but I'd lowkey be fine with an rp/fic where Hero just abuses Kel all the time and has him basically trained to obey and cower out of fear. x'D

Adding onto that, I also had so much fun with the Basil deaths in Black Space, so now I just imagine like Basil is the Kenny of the group, and he just dies horrible deaths all the time and comes back later, and no one even bats an eye beyond giggling or saying, "Oh wow, he's gonna feel that in the morning, tee hee!"

And then when Basil goes missing, Hero and Aubrey start putting Kel through a lot more shit because even they they don't really notice it, Basil's constant deaths and pained screaming do keep them pretty entertained.

Omori isn't phased by any of it ofc, since he's kiiiind of the one pulling the strings here.

I'm not sure how Mari would respond to everything.  Maybe it would be funny if she just acted like she always does and almost as if the stuff happening is just silly goofy bickering or stubbed toes, and she'll say stuff like, "Awww, don't worry, Basil!  All you have to do for a spider bite is (I don't even know, but like generic advice for a single, non-venonous spider bite)!"  And Basil is just like, "-gross sobbing- O-okay...!" while being devoured alive by a billion spiders or chomped in half by a giant one ahahaha.

Then she'll tell Kel, "Aww, Hero got mad at you?  Well... you did step on his foot after all.  But just apologize and talk it over and I'm sure he'll come around in no time! ^u^" and this is like, what you tell someone if all the angry person did was snap at them or get upset and leave for a bit.  But Hero literally broke a branch off the nearest tree and beat Kel with it until it broke lmao.

It's like... ultra horrific tbh?  But I kind of love soaking in more of that type of freaky shit.  It's almost appealing BECAUSE it's the absolute last thing that should ever be happening??

Kel is an absolute sweetie and deserves the world, Hero is a kind and patient big brother who immediately apologized and improved himself the one time he was ever really mean to Kel, and Aubrey is honestly a very good person despite putting on an edgy face when she got older and trying to push people away.  She's never out to truly hurt anyone.

So it's kinda fun to twist them up in this awful way, especially since the game itself kind of already did most of the work for me and all I did was enjoy that and also take a meme from a video series and run with it.

I mean holy shit, there's legit a whole scene in Black Space where Basil's DW friends all beat him to death and then act like everything is normal and fun. It's CANON, and everything I wrote here is of a similar caliber, just with the invitation to view it as abusive shipping if the reader desires.

Basically I'm roleplaying with myself and enjoying the sadistic story I end up with x'D

[shrinkthisviolet]

For the ask game: Miguel Diaz, Aria Montgomery and Spencer Hastings <3

Ofc! Also btw I haven't seen the new episode yet, so Miguel's has no spoilers (and none of the CK ones will have spoilers):

Miguel Diaz

How I feel about this character: I like him! He’s sweet. He’s made mistakes, but so has everyone else. He’s also the best teen fighter on the show along with Sam

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Sam! Also sometimes Hawk

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Robby, Tory

My unpopular opinion about this character: He’s more at fault for the 2x8 kiss than Sam is, and Tory should've been pissed at him for it ✋

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish Tory had gone after him in the fight and not Sam...I mean, he was sober and the one dating Tory

I also wish he and Sam would stop having relationship drama every season like omg we get it, can we move on now 🤦‍♀️ we know you’re endgame, this has no stakes

Aria Montgomery

How I feel about this character: She’s neat. I know people say she's a bad friend, and they’re not wrong. But people hating her for the Ezra thing need to get a mf grip

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, any of the girls (mostly Spencer) 😂 Noel could’ve been a great option too (like the books!) if the show hadn’t made him so awful. Ooh or Ezra's little brother, iirc they’re around the same age

My non-romantic OTP for this character: the Liars as a group ofc! Also, she and Ezra could've been such great friends if not for their awful romance and the fact that he’s a terrible person aside from that too 😔 smh the chaotic Ezra & Aria friendship we could've had...

Also Jason, if the show hadn’t tried to make them date, which is...so gross. Ew. The fact that people actually ship them (even while hating Ezra/Aria!!) repulses me

My unpopular opinion about this character: A only holding her relationship with Ezra over her head was weird—a) because it was the tamest thing ever and I wish A had blown the whistle, and b) it once again contributed to Ezra/Aria being “forbidden lovers”, which...ew I hate it

Oh and here’s another: shipping her with Jason is still bad, he was literally in the NAT club and knew her since she was little (also isn’t he around Ezra's age??)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Lowkey if she’d turned out to be A, that would’ve been awesome. Even Lucy Hale thought she’d be!

Spencer Hastings

How I feel about this character: She deserves so much better, the show put her through too much

All the people I ship romantically with this character: All the girls, especially Aria. Also Toby

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Aside from the Liars as a quartet...I can’t think of anyone 😅 I’m sure there’s someone tho

My unpopular opinion about this character: Her sister is awful and I’ll never forgive her for villainizing Spencer for kissing Ian and Wren. Girl bffr?? Those are GROWN MEN and your sister is a TEENAGER

(Coming from an older sister...Melissa Hastings makes us look awful, and I resent her for it ✋)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: When she turns 18, she gets to give an entire speech to her parents and Melissa talking about how terrible they were to her and saying she’s never talking to them again until they apologize profusely and make amends

I’ve heard Veronica gets better in later seasons, and ofc I know about Spencer’s complicated parental situation, but IDC she still should’ve gotten to say this, I’m mad she didn’t. They were so mean to her in s1 and s2

Oh also on that note, I’d get rid of the cheating that makes her Ali’s half-sister, because…why. And also, no evil twin for her! That should’ve been Ali and Hanna, or Ali and Courtney (like the books)

character ask game!

[unohanabbygirl]

Forever by your side x FMN crossover. Like how does everyone process Luke being able to remember again but still only having the memories of them locked at 14. Or would it be more painful that he doesn’t remember them at all but can make long term memories??

After stormsend every day they shared is gone same as before but to their own minds no chance of him remembering. Luke is independent doesn’t need them in the same way if he does remember his fourteen years of life from before. I feel like it would retraumatise everyone again after they had made peace with it the first time around.

How do they deal with their relationship to him then without him needing constant and specific care. He’s a champion SURFER for crying out loud (Aemond has heart attacks watching his husband now back reedy and tall before he filled out throwing himself into waves that once stole everything from him). Honestly story low-key ruined my life for the night. Such a horrible fate but so interesting to see in dynamics!!

Also history reading Luke’s journals?? They’d be Romeo and Juliet with the tragic end without the end. Sobbing just thinking about it.

Let me just say I love that whenever I post a new story we all think about doing a forget me not crossover. FMN is really that girl.

Anyway, this is the crossover that was promised because the idea of Luke remembering his past BUT still having no memory of his life post Storms End is just as painful as him having no memory at all. I imagine that this version of Luke and Aemond lived very well into old age so that’s sixty years of a long beautiful life together just gone.

It’s enough to drive Aemond into a depression. Imagine your spouse that you spent your entire life with not being able to remember a single moment of it. Their last memory of you being how you nearly killed them.

Yea, Aemond is always gonna suffer big time.

And as we all know, FMN Luke is very independent and hates anyone telling him what he can and can’t do. Not to mention that he’s never been in a dangerous accident such as a car crash for example, so he doesn’t have any trauma making him hyper aware of such things. Aemond having a panic attack every time Luke does something lowkey dangerous is sad yet kinda interesting because you just wanna see how he reacts. Imagine Luke doing something as simple as sticking his head out the car window while they’re on the highway and Aemond freaks out big time.

Luke no longer needing constant around the clock care and guidance is such a foreign concept that no one knows how to give Luke his space anymore. It’s odd that he seems to have an aversion to touch when in the past all he did was hold their hands and stay as close to them as possible as he tried adjusting for the day.

On one hand they’re excited that Luke has been able to live life without such a debilitating disability. On the other it gives them a sense that they’ve lost their purpose in a way. Of course as a family they don’t need to have an exact purpose other than to love and appreciate him, but to no longer have that role of being a caretaker is strange.

Luke’s journals fill that missing hole in history since the war never happened. There’s a while genre of film and media dedicated to Luke and Aemond’s heart wrenching love. They blow Rhaenyra/Harwin out of the water and thats just that.

Just imagine that in Luke’s final days he was no longer able to hold his pen as well and his hands were incredibly stiff and swollen due to arthritis. So every night before they go to bed Aemond sits Luke down as he rambles on about his day and what he wishes he could remember as Aemond writes it all down for him, signing both their names before tucking them in.

Hollywood spins these last days into a movie sometime in the early 90’s and its still the highest grossing film in Westeros history till this day.

[arobinwithoutbatman]

((Aaaaaaaallrightyyyyy comics time~ We're starting the Knightfall saga today and I'm doing the entire saga not just Tim's stuff so I have extra context.

Pray for me, y'all.

Prelude... oh okay Vengence of Bane

Okay, talking about a coup in the Carribean *and torture! Lovely!*

...so a literal newborn is to serve his father's sentence... *purely because he's a boy?! And his father was named in the coup?!* Given the torture, there's every chance that he wasn't involved the victim was just saying names!

Basically raised in prison and went lowkey mad in solitary confinement and after a coma. Almost like traumatic brain injuries have a chance of completely changing someone's personality -.-

...god damn, Bane sure improved! That's kinda terrifying

And now he has an obsession with Batman. This can only go badly

OH! Illegal human experimentation! Why the fuck not?!

Aaaaand he's now all set up in Gotham and wants to kill Batman and is impressed that he doesn't kill. Huh

-----------

Huh... Bruce and Vicki broke up. Shame

Oh hey Sionis, nice to meet you. Can't wait for Jason to destroy your empire later down the line

Sionis backstory too... kinda sad really but also dude don't use your dead dad's face skin to make a new mask. That's gross

Oh shit! Lucius!

------------

Oh! Blonde dude is Bruce in disguise! Nice! Didn't even catch that until now!

Also, why is Circe dressed like that? I get the mask, she suffered from the whole facepaint thing, but basically naked? Why?

Also, waists don't work like that!!!! Has she been wearing waist training corsets? Obviously not recently, they picked her up off the street, pretty sure she's been homeless this entire time. Did they know what a woman looks like?

Oh wait! I just realised! Bruce proved himself with a gun! Great aim! *Bruce hates guns* God damn, he really sells it when he's undercover... is he okay?

Also... what is with this art style? Tim is thirteen, maybe 14 at most and he looks like he's Bruce's age

Oh damn, Bruce actually admitting he's not in his prime and starting to slow down. And Jim's potential marriage is in trouble...

Awwww Bruce calling it early for Tim cause he has school

...that wasn't Sionis? What the actual fuck is going on?

-------------

Bruce Thomas Wayne you will speak to Alfred with a civil fucking tongue in your head

Also, for the love of God get a therapist! This counts as hurting yourself my guy!

Awwww Jack is doing better! And Tim is about to suggest acupuncture when Jack hates needles... welp

Who the fuck is walking around at night in a knock off pinhead cosplay? And killing people?

And this is still teh damn *prelude?!*

Yeah time to rest and recover, Bruce

-------------

Bruce. For the love of God. Go to therapy. You are stressed and traumatised.

Oh shit Jim's got a hit out on him

And his wife is worried

Yeah Bruce is not doing well...

Lunch break!

-------------

Okay... military school brat

Robbing the armory. Mkay

Okay so the point f the prelude is... massive city wide gang warfare... plus potentially Arkham related bullshit

------------

....Bruce... Bruce for the love of God... I'm begging you. I know Gotham is kinda falling to pieces for the millionth time but pls. Take a break

I'm sorry, this General is still a *child?!*

----------

...his name is Ulysses and even his family other than his mother want him gone. What the god damn

-------

First meeting of Azrael. Cool

Hawk of the Wilderness, Tim you goober

Hm, Tim training Jean-Paul as... a replacement Batman so Bruce can actually take a break?

...it's actually grapnel? I always thought it was grapple???

FINALLY The man tries therapy!!!!

-------------

Whomst the fuck is hypnotherapying a dude into jumping off a ledge?!

Dealing with a break in at Wayne Tower while Bruce and Lucius try to figure out what secrecy is going on

Ope, Azreal losing control. Oh and hypnotherapy dude again! ...oh shit he's going after the people heading up the 3 sections of this secret project

Which means Lucius is next! Oh fuck!

---------------

Aaaaaannnndddd Lucius is on teh bridge being encouraged to jump into the river believing it's from his dad....

Also Bruce Wayne, I will remind you again to *speak to Alfred with a civil tongue*

Okay cool they figured out it was hypnosis and Azreal caught Lucius

---------

...fuck me, how many more issues do I have of just the prelude? Cause this is the only thing I get to today at this rate cause I still wanna write things!

Oh hey Killer Croc

Oooohhhh no Bane's gonna show up while Jean-Paul is in the Batsuit trying to handle Killer Croc. His programming is gonna kick in. This isn't gonna end well for *anyone*

Oh okay Bane took out Killer Croc and immediately clocked that it wasn't Bruce under the cowl... welp

And Bruce is having god awful nightmares with the sedatives but he won't sleep any other way poor guy

-----------------

Aaaaaaand Riddler's back

I'm sorry, Riddler once tried to *sacrifice Batman?!* Jesus Christ!

Welp, Riddler was high af and apparently Bruce has been on venom before which sucks

Riddler got shot too and Bane is still testing Bruce

-----------------------

Am I dont yet? [348/375] Uuuuugggggghhhhhhhh

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE RELEASE THE CLOWN. DON'T DO IT, JACKASS

And Tim is cutting Jean-Paul's hair

And now everyone's loose and poor Jeremiah has had a total break from reality thanks to the trauma

--------------------

Good grief that was a lot! So uhhhhh guess it was kinda ambitious to try and do all of Knightfall in one day

[doodle-dog-diary]

The wingfeather saga book one: dark darkness of darkness was a book that stressed me out: a List

Stop blaming Janner every time his siblings do something stupid and get themselves in trouble?? For fucks sake they're not toddlers THEY should learn to maybe NOT act stupid? My god I feel so sorry for the poor kid I hope he tells them all to go fuck themselves and fucks off somewhere to go be his own person

Tink is just lowkey annoying and not even funny. NEXT

If I found any pests in my garden I'd be gladly hurling them over a cliff to certain death, (you have never lived through hell until geckos shit all over your fucking house, birds come to steal your garbage and scope out your house like they're going to rob you, and ants get in your water WHILE YOU'RE STILL ACTIVELY DRINKING FROM IT) Leeli can go fuck herself

Also Leeli is a stupid ass name. It's the exact same fucking name I used in sentence writing exercises when I was like. Fucking seven

STOP BRINGING YOUR FUCKING DOG EVERYWHERE IF YOU DON'T HAVE A WAY TO CONTROL IT ITS GOING TO BITE ANOTHER LIZARD PERSON AND THEN YOU'LL GET JAILED AGAIN YOU STUPID

Peet mcsockguy has the same vaguely fuckable blorbo guy vibes as Bruno from Encanto

The grandpa is also fucking annoying

There is a DIFFERENCE between being brave and JUST DOWNRIGHT STUPID!! When the enemy outnumbers you AND has your family hostage AND is armed and you deliberately provoke them, it's called being STUPID!!

I hope their grandpa dies

I feel like in fiction a lot of the time this kind of loud blustery bravery is like disproportionately glorified? As if being LOUD and OUT THERE and IN YOUR FACE is the only good, honorable way to be. I don't like it. Sometimes bravery is keeping your head down until the right time comes to strike. Sometimes bravery is struggling along in a difficult world in your own little way

They keep getting captured, then saved by pete sockguy, then captured again and saved again and it's tedious to read through. I wish they'd just get captured and executed and be done with it

The author keeps doing this thing where some character dies/nearly dies and then oh look...they didn't really die after all...and I don't like it. If they die, they should DIE and stay dead. I don't think that's a lot to ask for

I did not like the "ooh look how DISGUSTING the evil bad guys are even the food they eat is GROSS AND YUCKY bleargh" thing...like..."this is a race of evil people who are all evil, they're gross and their food is gross" feels...uh... look, fish innards actually sounds pretty good to me, OKAY? And I'm sick and tired of white people acting like every meat tastes like chicken, and every food that is a little bit foreign to them is like eating garbage, and people who eat food they think is weird are also weird. I know the author probably didn't mean for it to come across that way, but like try eating some pork intestines and then maybe you'll be normal someday

(^ when I was like 8 I found a book titled something along the lines of GROSS FOODS FROM AROUND THE WORLD and I was like "oh SICK can't wait to learn what kind of manmade horrors people are eating around the world" but then it was just. Normal Stuff. Like chicken feet. Innards. Various fermented foods. And for each entry the author gave it a rating on the fuckin vomit-o-meter or something like that. And I think I never really got over that. And now every time youtube recommends me a video of someone gagging over durian it feels like a hate crime)

[elevatormusic]

my first reactions with zero context: only friends ep 5

GAAAAAY oh

are we getting a sand pov episode now!!!

damn this mans life was fantastic until he met ray

oh that dude is worse than ray

get his ass queen

sand constantly saving this man huh

he said i’m dumb in the morning sorry

coffee is gross

maybe just a suggestion stop getting drunk all the time

he’s a whiny hungover

why would he say that😭

oh.

lmao dog you gotta stop forgetting you have a roommate now

nick’s just happy for sand

neither does he babe

again? has he just been staying at sand’s now?

sand is actually such a good influence on ray. ray’s gonna do him dirty isn’t he?

why’d they do nick like that

he already was smiling my guy

hold on what the fuck even is this project anymore

it’s funny that mew was like my requirements is guy has to like my friends and he lets top openly talk shit about ray??? i say this again: ray shouldn’t have mew in his life

my theory: mew is gonna be the actual worst person in this show out of all of them watch (his innocent shit is just a little too sus to me)

idk what to tell them that was his fault he got ran over😭

holy shit i’m not used to him without glasses

me 🤝🏼 ray = wearing the same exact outfit

he lowkey is kinda whipped for him rn

baby boy he isn’t making you ride with him lmao

stop those helmets look so dumb. why couldn’t they get them better ones

he looks terrified lmao

he really picked the ugliest yellow he could find

love this for sand. he’s having way too much fun

he’s really doing this behind a tiny curtain

that shirt is way too small for him tho

stooooop y’all are in public

there’s no way he’s fixing them like that

it’s unfortunate they would be such a cute couple

boy that’s a relationship. you want a relationship

top’s face is so funny

why’d you even go there then?

he lowkey looks a bit jealous

oh he got the shirt!!

the way ray put his full attention back to sand as soon as he came back

my girl said i understand

top has slept with every guest character hasn’t he

okay come on it is not that dark lmao

i was waiting for coachella lmao

what is happening lmao

awe it’s his birthday how cute

is he not going to eat the cake tho?

stop i can’t stand him

you’re asking the wrong person

lmao we think alike

he just threw him under the bus

you’re birthday is tomorrow tho

why tf did he call his friend to tell him that lmao

at least they’re all about safe sex

huh????

at this point sand got him another roommate

obsessed with his mom

oh we’re going back to this now

just like he’s about to do

lmaoo

bullshit

sand you’re really screwed my guy

those four are kinda great together

he called him a dog lmaoo

oh no. sand you gotta get outta there

he really did that huh

just when boston was bearable

is nick about to spill the beans?

i mean bc you’re a dick

not a single one of them are gonna be friends anymore i swear

but i mean he was right

protect your heart king

i beg of you to keep your distance you deserve better