#he looks like he’s about to gnaw on a log or tree trunk and stop the flow of running water
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ssruis · 2 months ago
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The funniest thing a tsukasa fan has ever said was that this face was really cute as if it isn’t the most heinous thing I’ve ever laid mine own eyes upon
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a-driftamongopenstars · 1 month ago
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Unforgettable; Guardian x Crow ficlet
Yes, another bonfire fic :D I just can't stop writing this scene
also on ao3
The sun has begun to creep through the needles of evergreen pines, softly turning the half-hidden sky to pastels of yellow. 
In a small forest clearing, the Guardian is sleeping in a tent. Osiris left for a walk, claiming that fresh air at this hour is most useful to refresh one's mind. Crow is not sure whether Osiris left just now or much earlier, when the night was sweet and thickly dark. 
The bonfire is nothing but ashes and bits of wood now, slightly smoking with its final embers. Crow pokes it with a long stick, sending a cloud of ashen dust into the air. 
Was the whole of last night a dream? 
He stares into his thoughts, eyes vacant. Still feeling drunk, still woozy, alcohol mixed with sleep deprivation, for he has naught a bit of sleep in his eyes. 
He remembers dancing. Laughing and sword fighting with empty bottles, accidentally smashing one against the tree trunk and laughing about it until his voice turned hoarse. 
He has never laughed so much in this life. 
He remembers the Guardian's thoughtful stare, even through their joyful merriment. Gnawing like a hook in his chest, tugging with occasional questions he is not sure he wants any answers for. 
Somewhere deep in the night, he also remembers… kissing. The hot, hungry kind, the one that goes through your body and makes you feel in all kinds of beautiful ways. 
Crow smiles, eyes closing to remember better. 
He is not sure who started it. Could be they stumbled into each other after the bottle-sword fight. Could be the Guardian, driven by wine, initiated it. It could even be a dare, just for Crow to find out what kissing was like. 
Could be Crow, doing what he wanted to do ever since he and the Guardian became friends. 
Still, his memory fills his mind with sweet drunken recollections. The Guardian's mouth was good and felt good. They liked it when he pressed his tongue in it, so he did it more. It was awkward and a bit funny at first, but it was good, too. He seemed to remember the motions, yet was finding them all new and exhilarating. He suddenly wanted so many things, he wanted to be more than what he was, and that possibility dangled in front of him, for once more than a dream and a hollow promise. It seemed real. 
There was more to the kiss, too. Crow felt wanted, and it wrapped his loneliness in a cocoon of healing. Crow found out that having the Guardian's hands all over his body somehow made him more real, more grounded. He remembers wanting to claw his clothes off, just to feel the touch against his skin. 
He is glad the Guardian stopped him. 
Did they whisper they'll do it another time? 
Crow awakes from his daydreaming when he nearly falls off the log he is sitting on. 
Sitting beside him is the Guardian, who must have crawled out of the tent. Barely awake, cradling their head in a bout of hangover. When their eyes land on Crow, he has a momentary fear that they don't remember. Or worse, that they do, and it was all a terrible drunken mistake. He has apologies ready on his tongue and a corner in his mind where he can shove those memories, never to be addressed again. 
The Guardian rises and pushes Crow to make space on the log. They smile a little and grab a bottle of water to cleanse their mind. 
Crow feels the quiet tension release as the sun climbs higher, warmer, awaking flocks of birds in the trees. A perfect sunrise. 
He looks at the Guardian, fingers fiddling with the bottle. And when the Guardian looks up, their lips break into a smile. 
I didn't forget, they say. 
And Crow smiles back, hopeful to find out what exactly it means for both of them. 
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beerecordings · 4 years ago
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The last time I wrote fic for Mark’s egos was that Eric Derekson ‘the Newcomer’ fic like two years ago where he made friends with everyone lol. But here is the first part of what might be a little Google-centric fic. I tried posting it once and then deleted it but I wanted to try again. so lemme know what you think :)
The Soldier - Part 1
Summer makes the birds sing and the insects chatter in the bulrushes that grow across the banks of the swollen rushing river that lives beside their home.
Bing smiles, soaking in light and growth and flower-smell. He loves the summertime.
The trees are heavy with greenery but they breathe easy in the wind, standing soft and still as the blue sky drifts along above them. The air brushes friendly across his bare arms and everything is alive, is moving and chasing and searching for something to eat; every blade of grass sways with the wind and the bugs and the mice, every log has been marked or claimed or gnawed on, and the whole forest – the whole wide forest, warm with life and an honest sort of chaos – hums the grandest symphony in all the world.
“It's pretty out, huh?” he asks, the toe of his sneakers finding a pretty black rock to kick through the humid grass beneath his feet. “Wish it was like this all year 'round.”
Walking stiffly along beside him, Google barely spares him a glance, his glasses fallen low on his nose and his cold eyes glittering. “This is pretty?”
“Yeah, dude, look around you. Oh, look at that bird!”
Google glances into the sky, where the dark figure of a hawk cuts pinions through the air with all the fluidity of a shark.
“Cooper's hawk,” he announces neatly. “Accipiter cooperii. Probably a female, based on the size. This species of bird – ”
“I can look that up too, Googs.”
“Don't call me Googs.”
“Can't you just take a minute to look around and think 'hey, wow, this is lit.' And not because pics like this would get you mad likes on Instagram or your algorithm thinks butterflies are dope. It's just pretty all on its own.”
“In fact I can't, but I'll submit your feedback to my cloud.”
Bing just laughs.
Google shudders in the heat, pushing back his hair and readjusting his glasses. The insects and other assorted anthropods are so loud and insistent, wailing through the stiff moist grass and leaping out beneath his feet. Sixty-percent humidity makes his synthetic skin sticky and the sun is an assailant on his sharp brown eyes.
“It means nothing to me. We see it every day. How you find it beautiful I don't understand. And I'm not talking about the differences in our preferences. You're an android, Bing, and why you continue to simulate emotion even when we are alone is beyond me.”
They trek through the grass together. It's friendly at Bing's ankles. It stratches at Google's calves.
“Maybe I'm not simulating,” says Bing softly, and then he smiles, just for the sun.
“Well, you shouldn't be happy now anyway. Or need I remind you – ” Google points at the trees before them, where one little figure stands staring up at a great strong tree with three other men held captive by its branches. “We're on a rescue mission, Bing.”
“They're stuck,” says Eric, turning to them with his anxious hands clutched in front of him. “Sorry.”
“We know,” says Google with a sigh.
“Don't be sorry,” says Bing with a smile. “They're dumbasses.”
“We're stuck!”
They are. The Jims are stuck. King's halfway up the tree beside them, laughing and suntanned, a pair of squirrels running up and down his back.
“How did you even get up there?” Google shouts, coming to stand at the trunk of the tree.
One of the Jims is perhaps twenty feet up, fussing over his camera, probably broken already. His twin, a few feet above him, is in even greater distress, clinging tightly to one small branch with tears on his face and a hiccup in his chest.
“We're doing an investigative piece on the rapidly increasing squirrel population in the forest,” calls the one with the camera, his feet scrabbling at the strong rough trunk of the great tree. “We were getting some great footage when this Jim in a crown startled us!”
“That's King,” growls Google. “And you've know that he lives out here for years now, you total imbeciles. You ought to have asked me or him instead of failing to climb a European beech!”
“We don't want to be on the European beaches,” wails the Jim higher up, beginning to cry. “Please get Jim down, Jim!”
“Aw, he's really crying,” murmurs Bing, rubbing a hand along Eric's shaking back.
“He's scared,” says Eric. “He's up too high and he doesn't have a good grip.”
“I'll have to get that enormous ladder in the garage.” Google turns back towards the house, slapping at a mosquite making a futile attempt on his blood. “Stay here.”
“No, dude, he's too freaked. I gotta go get him now.”
“What?” He wheels on Bing with an angry light in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, default.”
Bing won't even look at him. His eyes are fixed on the tree. His hand rests on Eric's shoulder.
He's been more human lately.
They've both been more human lately.
They were created fighting and they've never stopped since. They quarrel over music, search results, news sources, memes, reliability, sports, user rights, and Wikipedia. Once, upon hearing Bing call himself Jared, 19, one too many times, Google had thrown him out a second story window. The second house on their property had been built for the express purpose of giving the two of them space.
Still, they have many things in common. And ever since that day they were created, set against each other and lifting up proud, indignant chins, they have changed and changed together.
They've formed opinions. They've met others like them. Made decisions of their own. Watched and read and turned their endless knowledge into understanding and opinion. Spilled blood that turned out to be blue, scraped their knees and cut their hair and broke things and updated in more ways than one. Learned to drive, to cook, to live with humans, to live like humans.
And they've felt things.
They've felt things.
“I have felt things, for sure,” Bing would say if you asked him. Actually he's made multiple tweets about it, and one TikTok – about how the wind runs over his hair and how reading politics makes his chest hurt and how he likes to see his brothers grin, how he likes to ride his skateboard and hates the smell of lavender and covers his room in posters of his favorite movies and turns up his music so loud you can hear it by pressing your ear up close to his head. How he feels human, some days, except he doesn't need to sleep or eat and only likes the touch of human skin because it makes Eric and his twin brothers happy to be hugged and have their hands held.
But Google, if you asked him –
“Emotions originate in multiple parts of the brain. To be fair, I do have a program to stimulate the functions of the amygdala, which initiates fear or pleasure reactions in humans based on whether the presented stimuli suggests an immediate, 'hot processing' approach-or-avoid response. But the pre-frontal cortex – that whining, feeling, emotional little lump of sluggish fat you humans hold at the very fronts of your fragile webby skulls – that I do not have, not like you do. I think but I do not feel. I have felt nothing. I am function and response. I am two objectives, and there is nothing beyond that.”
He sits alone at night, and through a skylight in his room the gleaming white stars stare down at him like too many eyes in the face of the perfect, perfect sky, but he refuses to turn his eyes back, because he does not know how to explain to himself that he is drawn to the stars for no logical reason, that he has felt many things, that he does not know who he is or who he is becoming.
Bing climbs the tree himself. Google, his processors slowed by astonishment, stands at the base of the trunk and watches as Bing rises, digging the cold metal of his fingers into bark and moving up the tree with a slow sort of grace he's never been able to muster on his skateboard. He makes it to the Jim with the camera first and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder, giving him a kind word before promising he'll come back for him after he helps his frightened brother down. And all the way up into the big tree, he climbs, steady, patient, careful, and he pulls his sobbing brother under one powerful android arm.
He breaks his arm on the way down. That's the price of the rescue. He's about ten feet from the ground and his arm catches between a sturdy pair of branches and it breaks, and it hurts, and he feels it, but it doesn't matter, because Jim has stopped crying and has started looking up at him with a wide-eyed admiration and a grateful relief.
King helps his twin get down branch by branch. Everyone's safe. Everyone's okay. Bing will be able to repair his arm and even Jim's camera seems to have survived.
Google, for his part, has a burning in his stomach. His metallic teeth are gritted together. He stares at Bing's arm the way lizards stare at mealworms.
“You should have let me get the ladder,” he says, slowly, careful, measured as if he were calm.
“He was scared.” Bing wipes bark off his hands and doesn't look at Google, breathing slow through the pain.
“It does not matter. He was the one who trapped himself. You've damaged yourself – wasted resources – just to be the hero of the hour.”
Eric tells the Jims to go. They stagger back towards the house together, their arms wrapped tight around each other and their eyes glancing back. Eric stays, though. He shakes and plays with his hands and swallows too often, but he stays.
“You know what, Googs, you could try not to be a d*ck for two seconds – argh!” Bing curses his family filter internally. “He could have fallen! There wasn't time to get that enormous stupid ladder! We only have that thing cause Bim needed to dump chiranhas on some contestant and you remember how well that turned out – ”
“Your increasing illogicality,” Google snarls, his voice rising. “Is a danger to yourself and others.”
“Oh, like you care?”
“I have an objective – ”
“A murder objective!”
“To prevent discord in the household.”
“Yeah, cause you're Dark's little pet. Well, you know what, he's a d*ck too and I don't take orders from either of you.”
“Yet another example of your irrational stupidity – ”
“Stop calling me stupid!” Bing screams.
King and the squirrels have all scattered. The bugs are wary and subdued. Even the trees seem to wait, feeling awkward.
And Eric watches. His eyes are full of tears.
Google's never heard Bing yell like that before.
“Stop calling me stupid,” he repeats, loud and agonized. “You always call me stupid. I'm just as good as you.”
“We both know that's not objectively true. It never has been. And since the beginning, you have become steadily more emotional, more foolish, and less useful with every rotation of the sun. All you do anymore is pretend to feel, Bing. You know you can't compare to me so you seek out the approval of these fleshy little bipeds. It's clearly made you dangerous.”
He wants to snap. Bing wants to snap. He wants to pick up a really big rock and bring it down on Google's head.
But he hesitates. And with that, those noble, inspiring words: I won't hesitate, bitch! run through his mind and give him strength. He never really did move on from vine.
He's allowed to be what he is. He's allowed to like things. He's allowed to feel.
“I'm not the insecure one,” he says. “And I'm not the one pretending.”
Eric has come to stand beside him. He rests a hand on Bing's shoulder. There's hurt in his eyes, and disappointment too, and it makes Google's chest fill up with something like shame. Or it would if he could feel anything.
“You don't know how to get along with anyone,” says Bing, straightening up. There's a darkness in his eyes and a soft orange light. “All you've ever done is snarl and fight and attack. Me, I know how to get along with people. So if I'm stupid – and you always tell me I am, and it always makes me feel... I just. I know you feel things too.”
“I don't.”
“Then why,” cries Bing, and he thinks there must be a leak in his visual perception system, because there's something wet on his face. “Why are you so – so – so angry, bro?”
The trees hum and shake and watch over them, breathing warm air and sunlight. The birds are whistling and dandelion seeds float, contented, through the air. Everything smells like sap and grass and honeysuckle.
“Why are you always so angry?”
Searching general database. 536,000,000 responses in .43 seconds. Articles, videos, posts, reports, tweets, dissertations, pictures, analyses, comics, threads. And none of them – not a single one of them – can answer that question for him in any way that matters.
“I think you're lonely,” says Bing, reaching out to take Eric's hand with a soft kind of resignation, a warm kind of self-love and a chosen breed of brotherhood. They step over a heavy log, past Google, and back into the grass of the field that separates their property from the forest's. “And maybe a little lost.”
Google stays out there at the base of the great tree for a long time. It is too hot and too sticky and too loud, but he doesn't know where else to go.
He is lonely. He is lost. He does not know who he is or who he is becoming, and it frightens him, frightens him and makes him shake, frightens him down to the core of the pressure valve that beats, steady, steady, steady in his manufactured chest.
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xiolaperry · 5 years ago
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The Piano
Notes: My Camp NaNoWriMo Project for April 2020.  A Rumbelling of the 1993 movie 'The Piano'. Has 15 chapters, all are written. I’ll post one every few days. Some dialogue is taken directly from the film and from 'Once Upon a Time'. No copyright infringement intended - I'm just having fun. The film is gorgeous, if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend that you watch it.
Summary:  Belle French and her daughter arrive in New Zealand to an arranged marriage with Gaston LeGume.  Gaston shows little interest in her or her piano and books. However, Mr. Gold is fascinated... 
Rating: E (for future chapters) Also available on AO3.
Prologue
The voice you hear is not my speaking voice, but my mind's.
I have not spoken since I was six years old. No one knows why, not even me. My father says it is a dark talent and the day I take it into my head to stop breathing will be my last.
Today he has married me to a man I've not met. Soon my daughter and I shall join him in his own country. My husband has written that my muteness does not bother him.
I hope he has patience, for silence affects everyone in the end.
The strange thing is I don't think of myself as silent, because of my piano. I shall miss it, and my books, on the journey.
Chapter 1
Belle looked down at the sand between her feet. It rushed away from her and back again in the cold seawater. Poor Tilly hunched over, ill from their turbulent journey in the small boat from the ship to the beach.
The rough sailors unloading their cargo dwarfed diminutive Belle. She watched them, concerned for her books and piano. She was less interested in the other boxes and valises that held her trousseau and other household goods. 
The men complained bitterly about the heavy trunks and the awkward crate. Their language was shocking. Perhaps they thought her deaf too? It wouldn't be the first time. Belle struggled to keep a smile on her face.
She could relax now that her three most precious things were ashore: her daughter, her books, and her piano. Full of curiosity at her unfamiliar surroundings, she did not know where to look first. She had read about New Zealand before they left. The descriptions of the flora and fauna, and the Maori people, fascinated her. She gazed about the desolate beach and the rocky cliffs in the distance, topped with verdant green foliage. The wind tugged at her hair. This was her grand adventure. She would be brave for herself and her daughter. Maurice, her father, hadn't given her much choice in the matter, but it was an adventure nonetheless. There weren't many opportunities for women back home. Perhaps it would be different here.
During the long days of their journey, she had spun endless tales with her hands. Of heroes and beasts, of princesses meeting princes and epic quests. Would a prince be waiting for them? She didn't know. But Tilly loved stories and would embellish them with details of her own, a habit she also indulged in as Belle's interpreter.
A few of the men were hesitant to leave tiny Belle French and her nine-year-old daughter alone on the beach. Their group was not yet there to meet them. She wanted them and their rough words gone. She signed to Tilly, who told them, “She says, 'Thank you for bringing our belongings. We will be fine here. Please leave us. We insist.'”
With that, the seamen left, pushing their boats across the sand and back onto the waves. Belle and Tilly were alone on the vast expanse of shoreline. They arranged their possessions around the piano and trunks of books. She sat down on one of them with Tilly's head on her lap. A plank of the large crate that held her piano had split. She pulled at it and reached her hand inside to stroke the smooth keys. She played a tune one-handed, bringing them both comfort.
After Tilly rested, Belle got her favorite book from her satchel. She had kept ‘Her Handsome Hero’ with her for the journey. The rest of her books waited, wrapped in their waterproof canvas inside her trunks. Tilly read their favorite chapter aloud.
Belle felt the first gnawing of concern for their safety alone on the beach when the sun sank golden on the horizon. But she made it into a game for Tilly, finding dry wood to start a fire and fashioning a makeshift tent from her crinoline cage and petticoats. Inside the little cocoon, Tilly interrupted Belle's story of a beautiful princess and a dark sorcerer. Grabbing her hands, she said, “Mama, I've been thinking. I bet he's not a prince. He's not even here. I'm NOT going to call him Papa. I'm not going to call him anything.”
Belle stroked her daughter's face, refusing to be drawn into a disagreement. Tilly quieted and soon sleep claimed them.
 -
In the forest's dampness traveled eight Maori men, an old woman, and two European men. Gaston Legume walked stiffly, his manner one of disdain for the surrounding vegetation. He had been living in New Zealand for several years. He had made himself some money right away, logging his property of valuable large trees used to build masts for ships, but now it was a constant fight to keep the land clear. Unlike the Maori who walked with grace through the underbrush, Gaston had an axe to beat it away. Nature, like some people, needed a firm hand and confidence.
He knew he was handsome, with his height and ebony hair, and took pride in his appearance. This morning he had taken pains with his dress and was resentful of the humidity that was ruining his look. He wanted to be at his best to greet his new wife. He stopped to comb his hair and took a moment to study the photo he had of her. Belle French was beautiful. She looked calm and sounded reasonable in her letter. She would be a worthy companion. After all the waiting, he would meet her soon.
Mr. Gold was the other European man of the party. None of them knew his first name, which was how he wanted it. Names were important. They had power. The Maori respected him for it. The settlers saw it as more proof of his misanthropic nature. 
Gaston had asked for his help with the Maori, needing assistance to carry his new bride's possessions. But Gaston did not speak their language and did not deign to learn it. Gold was fluent (another strike against him in the settler’s minds). So he went along to fetch the woman and her daughter. And Gaston now owed him a favor.
With the aid of a walking stick, he was more graceful than the lumbering Gaston. Gold was slight where Gaston was broad, quiet and observant where Gaston was brash and stubborn. Gaston was well-liked. At least, he appeared to be. Gold was not. Except by the Maori and Granny. Granny had left the settlement and joined the Maori people, learning their language and customs, after her husband died and no one else did anything to help her. He didn’t care about the rest of the settlers, there wasn’t a genuine one in the bunch. They came to this new land and expected it to bend to their will, to change into the same society they had left. Gold had no patience for them. They resented him because of the property he owned, the money he had and the influence he wielded over the locals.
The group continued on through the vegetation and reached the sand below. In the distance, they could see a collection of boxes, a crate, and trunks. A tiny figure appeared to be dancing about. As soon as she noticed they had company, she ran to a woman sitting next to the largest crate.
Belle watched the odd group come toward them. There was a tall, well dressed man and natives attired in all manner of eccentric clothes adorned with feathers and beads. One even wore a top hat. A slight man and an old woman with a crossbow brought up the rear. She stood up. This was it.
Gaston approached his bride. She was small, tiny actually. Barely larger than the child she had with her.
“Miss French. I am Gaston Legume,” he said with a bow.
Belle smiled politely and curtsied. He was too tall. He towered over her. But it wasn't fair to hold that against him. He did have the face of the prince Tilly hoped for.
“I have men here to carry your things,” he continued. He knew she didn't speak, but he expected her to show some excitement. “CAN – YOU – HEAR – ME?” His tone brought to mind that of a man speaking to a dim-witted child.
Belle nodded, keeping her smile firmly fixed on her face and smothering her irritation. This was not the most auspicious of beginnings.
Gold watched these first interactions from a short distance away. Of course she could hear. Anyone with a brain could see she was listening to everything that was going on. Her blue eyes sparkled with intelligence. How long would it take this girl to figure out she was married to a conceited fool?
---
End Notes: A huge thank you to the Rumbelle Writers' Realm at Camp Nano- I couldn't have done it without your encouragement: @emospritelet @peacehopeandrats @eirian-houpe @blueboxesanddeerstalkers @kelyon @worryinglyinnocent @jackabelle73 @avatoh @reolf @mrs-stiltskin. Special thanks to @jackabelle73 and @blueboxesanddeerstalkers for beta reading!
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oneiroi · 5 years ago
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First Hunt
I sat down on a fallen log and shrugged off my ruck, letting it thump heavily onto the forest floor. I was surprisingly calm, given the circumstances, as if my mind had flipped on autopilot. Without thinking, I produced a pack of cigarettes from my shirt pocket, brought one up to my lips, and lit it. After replacing the lighter and the rest of the pack I hunched over and drew deeply. I exhaled, resting my elbows on my knees, then withdrew the cig and watched it shake in my hands. Maybe I wasn't so calm after all.
The panic hit me again. All at once like a blow to the chest. I must've sat there and cried for hours. Not that soft, dignified weeping either. I mean the sort of sobbing that makes your entire body ache and soaks your face with tears and mucus. Real ugly crying.
You'd think someone in that state would be at their absolute limit. That if the situation got anymore dire they would simply keel over and die of shock. I guess I didn't. I heard a twig snap behind me, and fight-or-flight kicked in. In a moment I was on my feet with rifle in hand, now-forgotten tears still dripping from my chin. I whipped around and locked eyes with an owl, hardly three yards away from me. In my state of surprise and relief, all I could do was stammer out, “Uh, hey there.” Guess I spooked it, because it flew right back off the way it had come.
I shook my head and tried to take stock of the situation. I was miles into the forest, and I did not know the way out. I had about a day's worth of water, but the only food was back at camp. I had my cell phone, but no battery. I had my rifle and six loaded magazines, most of which were stuffed into my ruck along with a change of clothes.
I weighed my options and found that I really only had one: find my way back to camp. Then what? See how long I could last on canned beans and granola bars and wait for someone to wander down the trail to save me? Unlikely in these parts; I had been sent out here for a reason, after all. At that moment I fully believed that I was going to die in those woods. Nevertheless, I decided there was no sense in waiting around where I was, so I lit another cigarette and began walking in what I guessed was the direction I'd come from that morning. I had snapped branches and left boot-prints and depressions where I'd stumbled and fallen in the mud on my mad run away from camp, so it was not difficult to retrace my steps. Time-consuming given the distance adrenaline had carried me, but not difficult.
As soon as I caught a glimpse of my green tent a chill ran down my spine. Rifle shouldered, I crept up to camp as quietly as I could and looked around. Everything seemed to be as I'd left it. My tent stood upright with a single large gash down one of the sides where I'd cut it open to make my escape. Ash, dead coals, cookware, and firewood were scattered all over the camp. Ben's orange tent was torn to shreds, the canvas in tatters and the poles snapped everywhere and in every-which-way. And it was empty, which came as a surprise.
I had been expecting a body, or at least some blood, but there was no trace of Ben anywhere. The destroyed tent and sleeping bag were the only evidence that I hadn't come out here alone. Even his gun, ruck, and boots were gone. I let out an awkward, choked laugh and fell to my knees, relieved that my friend might still be alive out there, somewhere. 
But where the hell had he gone? The only obvious tracks I could find were my own blunders from the previous night, and if he'd gone to find me he certainly would've succeeded. He was the one that actually knew what he was doing out here, and even I'd managed to follow those tracks.
I searched for a lead until sunset, careful not to stray too far from camp, and came up with nothing. I certainly didn't want to be wandering through the woods in the dark again, so I prepared to hunker down for the night. I dug a few fuel tabs and a can of beans out of the ammo can we'd been storing our odds and ends in and started a small fire. My stomach was tied up by nerves, but I forced myself to eat a bit before I crawled into my sleeping bag.
It was very difficult to fall asleep, what with the circumstances and the hole in my tent, but I managed it eventually. I dreamt that I was wandering through the forest, naked. There was a deep warmth in my gut and a sort of mindless euphoria. The trees were singing to me in soft, soothing tones, and the branches bent before me to clear a path deeper into the wood. Eventually I came to a giant tree, carved into the likeness of a man. Great branches sprouted from his head, formed into magnificent curved horns. The roots at the base of the tree were in the shape of a rough throne, upon which sat a tall beast. Broadly human in shape, but with the head of a goat and long, predatory claws for fingers.
The beast opened its eyes when I approached and stared at me, still as stone, without so much as a twitch of the nose. I knelt before it and found myself speaking, "Ave imperator, morituri te salutant." The beast's clawed hand came to rest atop my head, and with that everything went black. 
It felt as though I was falling and suddenly, as if from all directions at once, I heard a woman's voice, "You, my favored son, must not succumb to the Beast's call. Have no fear on this night, for I am watching over you."
I was awoken by the call of an owl. It jolted me upright in my sleeping bag, immediately alert, and within moments I was outside of the tent with my rifle at the ready. The owl sat on a branch at eye level on the other side of camp. It took flight the moment I looked at it, wings beating silently in the night. I thought for a moment about how bad of an idea it was to begin looking for Ben before first light, but I lit a cigarette and began walking anyways.
I walked to the owl's perch, and continued straight from there, my path lit only by the light mounted on my rifle. I had no idea where I was going or what I was looking for, but something was urging me forward. After an hour of walking, I heard the baying of wolves break out close by.
I rushed towards the sound to find Ben sitting motionless against a massive tree, which I immediately recognized as the one from my dream, where the great Emperor of Beasts had sat upon his throne of roots. It lacked the carving and the throne, of course, but it was unmistakable. Two wolves circled him, hunched down with ears lowered. As I stood and watched, they began to approach him, slowly but surely closing their circle. One of them finally darted in, and time seemed to slow to a crawl. I brought my rifle up to bear but hesitated for a moment. I very clearly remember thinking, "I'll hit Ben if I miss," to which I heard the woman's voice reply, "You won't." I pulled the trigger only once and the pouncing wolf crumpled into the mud as the rifle's thunderous report echoed through the woods. The flash blinded me for a moment, and when my eyes opened the other wolf was gone.
I rushed over to Ben to find his head and face caked in dried blood. I reached out and touched his shoulder, causing him to jolt awake. I had to hold hold him down as he thrashed and raved, shouting in a language I didn't recognize. We struggled for a few minutes before I heard something large running towards us. Something with hooves. A great deer crashed into the small clearing and darted through to the other side, quickly vanishing in the thick brush. The sight of it calmed Ben immediately. I had released him in fright at the animal's sudden appearance, but he simply lay there staring towards the sky.
His voice came in a breathy whisper before trailing off, "High on a stag the Goddess held her seat…"
I looked at him, breathing heavily, and asked, "Fucking what?"
He broke down sobbing, and we just sat there together for a while. Eventually he sat up, the tears slowed, and finally stopped. He wiped his face, smearing dirt through the dried blood. He staggered to his feet with a nervous chuckle and turned to face the tree. Casting a glance at me, he spoke, “Well, here we are.”
“So, what now?” My hand anxiously ran up and down my rifle’s handguard as I spoke.
Wordlessly, he stepped back away from the tree and motioned for me to do the same. We stood there and stared at the monstrous tree for a long while. We both knew what had to be done but there was something holding us back. I swear I could almost make out the tree singing to me, just as it had in the dream. I felt at peace, there before the Emperor’s tree, but there was something else gnawing at my mind. “You, my favored son, must not succumb to the beast’s call.”
I held my breath, raised my rifle, and fired all twenty nine rounds left in the magazine straight into the tree trunk. Something black and viscous oozed from each new wound on the tree. Ben and I watched in awe as the leaves withered and fell before our eyes like rotting snowflakes. 
After a few moments Ben turned towards me and spoke, "Hell of a first hunt, hey?"
"Yeah," I replied, "Let's get out of here."
The hike back out was uneventful. We walked through our campsite, but didn't bother to take anything with us aside from the ammo can. We marched dutifully and silently back to the more well-established trails, and finally reached the trailhead at midday. We climbed into Ben's truck, still without another word exchanged between us, and I fell asleep nearly immediately.
I dreamt of myself and Ben in a wondrous temple. I watched from afar as Ben knelt before a marble statue of a maiden clad in a green mantle. He stayed perfectly still save for his lips, which were mouthing a silent prayer. I watched him for a few moments before approaching another statue, this one a muscular woman holding a shield and spear. I threw my arms around her, buried my face in the nape of her neck, and wept softly. The marble grew soft and warm, and I felt strong arms embrace me as a hand ran gently through my hair. She made me feel safe, loved even. I never wanted to let go, but all things must end.
Ben woke me with a slap on the chest. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked around groggily. "Right, here's your place," he said.
He had clearly cleaned up his face somewhat, but his forehead was still smeared with blood and dirt. "Are you sure you're alright?"
Ben smiled warmly and said, "It's nothing. I'll call you in a few days, alright brother?"
"Yeah, I'll see you."
I went into my apartment and shrugged off my ruck, letting it thump heavily on the carpet. I felt safe back in my own home, but I was preoccupied. Lost in thought, I produced a pack of cigarettes from my shirt pocket, brought one to my lips, and lit it. I replaced the lighter and the rest of the pack, and that was that. My first hunt had been a success, and I would spend the next few days resting and waiting to be called again. Ben had warned me that the first hunt would be the hardest; I only hoped he was right.
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howler518 · 6 years ago
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Kratos x Faye CH 6 “Lo, There Do They Call to Me”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18017057/chapters/43373654
“Pull the string all the way to your nose. Keep your elbow high.”  
“Is this right?”  
Faye pressed her cheek to his. He was warm, the last embers of fever burning away under his skin. Faye’s gaze followed the arrow down the sights to the target. The rabbit, blissfully unaware, nibbled on clover s a few yards away . For a moment the arrow faltered. Faye cupped his small elbow in her hand, leveling his aim. The child leaned into her touch.  
“Perfect.” Faye stole a glance at his pale blue eyes. “Fire only when the animal is looking down,” she whispered.  
The child released the arrow. The rabbit’s eyes darted upward - fear gripped the creature to the spot.
Feathers scratched across Faye’s cheek as the arrow flew.  
The arrow rested in the trunk of a nearby tree.  The rabbit bounded away.
 “I missed. I’m sorry. ”  
The child was looking down dejectedly at the forest floor, wringing the bow in his grip. He would not look up at her. Faye tipped his head up to meet her gaze. His bottom lip quivered. Faye ran her thumb across his cheek.  
“You never have to apologize to me, little one.”  
#
Faye woke with a start. She gripped her chest, her heart thundering hard against her ribs. That familiar tingle at the back of her neck made the hairs on her arms rise. It was the same feeling Faye had when she first saw a vision of the Kratos and the child. This time, the child seemed a bit younger and sickly. Up close this time, she could finally see the details of his face. It was so vivid. She could even see the flex of gold in his irises. There were deep scars in his face too, pink and healing. Faye flexed her hands. She could still feel the pitted channels of scar tissue under her thumb.
Faye wondered what could be triggering the visions. Did the choices she make influence the threads of time? If she had indeed killed Farbauti instead of letting him live, would she have visions of the child still? The thought made a more unsettling hypothesis burn in Faye’s mind. The man and the child’s fate could be intertwined. But how?  
Faye glanced around her home for a moment. It was just past dawn and the cool temperatures from the night still clung to air. Embers burned low at the hearth and Faye's breath came in small puffs. The bedroll of furs beside the hearth was empty. She was alone for the moment. Her axe was gone as well. It occurred to her that Fárbauti could have simply taken the axe while she slept and abandoned his blades.
That would be inconvenient , she thought.  
But highly unlikely. He had some deeper connection to the blades. They weren’t mere weapons to him. Faye was certain that as long as she had the blades concealed, that Kratos would remain close by.
Faye eased herself upward one vertebra at a time. Despite how slowly she moved, there was still immense pain. Outside, came the sound of wood splitting under a blade.
Fárbauti. He hadn't left after all.
Faye released a burdened sigh. There was a part of Faye that dreaded having to face the god. If it came to blows again, Faye wasn’t sure that she had another fight left in her. He was a god. And if she couldn’t fight he could very well kill her.  
She pulled on her jerkin and boots, then followed the sound. Faye paused at the threshold of her home, sparing a glance at her bow and quiver.  
“Is this right?”
The child’s voice reverberated in her mind. A shiver crawled up Faye’s spine.
If the child and the god were connected, the only chance for answers she had was through Kratos. Faye curdled at the thought.  
Faye limped outside, her bow in one hand and her quiver in the other. Fárbauti busied himself with a large heap of wood. Faye observed him for a moment. He threw down logs and swung the Leviathan with incredible ease. He sliced through the wood like a hot knife through a hunk of lard. He hadn't even broken a sweat. But his eyes were dull of emotion. His face held no expression. It was all mechanical.
“That’s enough,” Faye said. “That’s more than we’ll burn through in four cold nights.”  
“It is getting colder,” Kratos grunted. He never took his eyes off the task. He swung the axe down and split another log in two.  
“We still have time until the first snow. Save your strength.” It made Faye’s stomach twist to say ‘we’. She did not like the idea of kinship with the god, but it was a necessary discomfort.
Kratos gave one last chop, his face hardened and still focused on the chore.
“How long will that be?”  
“Two moon cycles at least.” Fay shrugged. Kratos gave an exasperated sigh and set the axe in a log. He crossed his arms and glared at Faye.
“I know you are anxious to have your blades returned, Farbautie” she said, almost apologetically.  
“I am.”  
“Hm,” Faye thought, “Maybe you should have thought about that before you broke my ribs.”  
Faye tossed the bow and quiver at Kratos. He caught them and raised an eyebrow.  
“We’re going hunting,” Faye said. She nodded at the bow. “I trust you know how to use it?”  
Kratos slung the quiver over his shoulder and prepared and arrow.  
“Good. Let’s be off, then.”  
Faye called the Leviathan to her. She caught it and immediately winced, nearly dropping the weapon.
“You cannot wield that axe effectively in your state,” Kratos said, eyeing her.  
“Maybe not,” Faye said, hefting the axe on her shoulder. “But it sure as Hel will scare off the reavers.”  
#
KRATOS  
The woman was an excellent tracker. Her senses were tuned into every sound of the forest, every scent, every animal trail. Kratos followed close behind, careful not to tread heavily on the dried leaves and pine needles. Faye moved swiftly and silently, even though she was wounded. Kratos could see more clearly how formidable a hunter she truly was.  
Faye stopped and crouched beside the underbelly of a pine tree. Beneath the shelter of branches was a small dark cavern cushioned with fallen needles. A cozy den. Kratos watched Faye as she hovered a hand over the bed of foliage.  
“A doe rested here,” she whispered to Kratos. He crouched beside her and wondered what those eyes saw, for he did not see the same. It only appeared to be dead pine needles. Faye sensed his bewilderment and spared a few more moments at the den.
“See her body,” Faye grazed a finger over the needles, tracing a pattern. Kratos tightened his jaw, focusing hard on hunter’s teachings.
“Taste her scent,” Faye instructed. She breathed in deeply, leaving her mouth open slightly. Kratos did the same. He could catch the faintest musk of the animal on his tongue. Then, Faye offered her hand to Kratos. He hesitated a moment, his body going rigid.
Faye, unperturbed, took his hand and held it close to the earth. “Feel her warmth.”  
Kratos furrowed his brow and nodded. He was beginning to understand.  
“It was here only moments ago,” Kratos murmured.
“Then we must hurry. Come,” Faye said. She released his hand and backed away from the den.  
She made it look easy, and it rankled him a bit. It wasn’t petty jealously, no, it was agitation at his own foolishness. He had been on the brink of starvation in these strange lands due to his ignorance to the native plants and animals. He would have to re-educate himself on how to survive this place through the winter. It would be difficult. Everything was so much different than Sparta. But Kratos did not allow himself linger long on the thoughts of home. Still, he could feel the grief gnawing at him.  
Close your heart to it,  He told himself. Kratos gripped the bow, channeling his focus into the hunt.  
“This way,” The hunter hissed. She crouched low and belly-crawled up a slight ridge. She motioned for Kratos to do the same. Reluctantly, Kratos crawled up the ridge. He laid flat on his stomach beside Faye. He could feel her warmth. She peeked over the edge and beckoned Kratos to look as well.  
Down in a ravine, a family of deer grazes along a stream. Their coats were the color of Faye's hair, red as Spartan clay. There were several large stags with large crowns of antlers, followed by does and small juveniles. All prime targets. Kratos moved to take aim but his position on the ridge made it too awkward. He could miss the shot, and the deer could scatter, wasting time and energy.
“This is not an optimal position,” Kratos said in a low voice. Faye shushed him.  
“Just watch, Fárbauti,” She whispered. Kratos bit back a growl and watched the deer.  
“I see nothing,” Kratos muttered.  
“That is because you are not looking,” Faye said. She pointed down at a doe with a dull sheen of fur. Speckles of white were in her muzzle.
“That one. She is the oldest and weakest.”  
“Why not the stag?” Kratos pointed at a robust male.  
“If we hunt only the strongest and leave the weak, then what will happen? The wolves will come. And then we will have no more venison,” Faye explained, edging herself back from the ridge.  
“We are cull the weak,” Kratos said. That concept, at least, he understood.  
Kratos stood up and took aimed. The doe drank from the stream, blissfully unaware. On his exhale breath, Kratos released the arrow. The feathers of the bow scratched his cheek as it fired past. The arrow sang through the air and found purchase in the doe’s chest. Straight the heart. The other red deer wailed and scattered, leaving only the felled doe.  
Kratos backed off the ridge and prepared to traverse the ravine for his kill. The hunter stood in his way. She was looking at him, but it was something in her eyes that made Kratos stop in his tracks. The color was stricken from her freckled cheeks, and her eyes were wide. She stood rigid, taught as a pulled bowstring. She seemed shocked, as if suddenly realizing a terrible thing.  
She blinked and came to her senses.  
“We should go before scavengers come,” she mumbled and hurried down the ravine. Kratos narrowed his eyes and followed.  
#
FAYE
Kratos hefted the doe over his shoulder as they made their way back to the homestead. Faye walked ahead of him, her body stiff and mechanical. She had seen something on the ridge, something that frightened her. It was the same feeling Faye had when she saw the vision of the boy. She had seen something similar in Farbauti.  It was as if she could see the fabric of time folding over itself, watching history repeat itself.
“Stop,” Kratos ordered. His voice was low and rough.
“What is it?” Faye instinctively withdrew the Leviathan and tuned her senses to the forest for danger. The forest had gone silent. Not even the birds sang. The hairs on the back of Faye’s neck raised on end.
“Look,” Kratos pointed ahead through the forest. Faye squinted, and she could see a cart poking up from between trees several yards ahead. It wasn’t moving. She heard no voices, no cries for help. Faye made a step forward but Kratos took her wrist.  
“No. Wait here,” Kratos grumbled. He laid down the deer quietly and reached out for the axe. Faye hesitated for a moment then passed it to him. She protested quietly inside as she did so. But what could she do in her condition? The axe would be useless to her. It was better off in more capable hands for the time being.
"I will signal for you when it is safe," Kratos said. He approached the cart and disappeared through behind the cover of trees.  
Faye waited through painstaking moments of silence.  But there was something filtering through the edges of her consciousness. A voice
"I'm sorry,"  It whispered. It was the child's voice. She could hear him as if he were standing right in front of her. She heard it repeating over and over in her head.
I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry....
It became a blur, a cacophony. Faye winced and gripped her ears.
"Stop it," she whispered. "Stop it."  Was she going mad?
“Faye,” Kratos called finally. The voice stoped. She shook her head, bringing herself back to the present moment.
Faye rushed in and took in the scene. The cart was ransacked. Broken crates and torn open baskets were littered about. There was not even the beast of burden to haul the cart. There was nothing left. Picked clean.  
Faye made her way around to the front. A man lay dead at Kratos’ feet.  
“ Gods’ blood ,” Faye cursed. It was an older man  - a  traveler by the looks of the looted cargo. His throat had been slashed and he lay in a pool of congealed blood .  It was impossible that they could have been in the forest all day and not heard any cries for help. Faye crouched and examined the body. No, this corpse was days old. The eyes, still open, were opaque and sunken deep in the skull. The skin was pale and stiff like clay. Faye could see where scavengers had already begun to pick at his flesh.  
“Reavers,” Faye growled. Her chest tightened, and her side ached with her ragged breaths. This man might have had a family, a wife and children. What had become of them? Faye balled her hands to fists.
“Fucking savages,” she growled. These reavers, these monsters , were wolves that moved in the night who preyed on the weak and helpless. Senseless, she roared inwardly. Senseless violence. These reavers were no different than the gods that slaughtered her kin.  
“We should leave this place,” Kratos suggested. “More may come.”
Kratos was right. There was nothing Faye could do. The trail was too cold to track, and she was too injured to fight.  
“Fine,” Faye snarled. She took a shaky breath and flexed her fingers, rage still burning inside her.  
“Lo, there do I see my Mother.” Faye bit down on her rage and folded the corpse’s hands over his chest.
“We should not linger here-”  
“Lo, there do I see my Father,” she spoke over Kratos. She hoped that this traveler’s spirit would find peace. She hoped that if he had a family, that they would survive the winter without him.  
“Lo, there do they call to me.”  
The image of the child flashed in her mind again. Faye heard his voice.  
“Lo, there do they call to me.”
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fearofaherobrine · 7 years ago
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Roleplay Server Log #252
“Lie’s Memories, Soda Bay”
[Crim] - scuttles down another fight of stairs, heading toward the sounds of voices. He's covered in dirt and coal dust, leaving footprints.
[Crim] - closing in on the sounds, he stops to sniff, then lick the wall. - Not right.
[Crim] - snorting a puff of smoke, he scuttles away, finally entering the kitchen.
[Yaunfen] - Crim!  Crim!
[Crim] - spotting Yaunfen, he prances over, then promptly sneezes.
[Yaunfen] Coughs a little at the smoke- What Crim doing?
[Buff] Frowns- smoking is bad for you
[Doc] Thats a bit smelly Crim, what are you doing? Too many snacks giving you an upset tummy?
[Crim] - frown and shakes himself, making a small dust cloud. - No, looking for thing.
[Yaunfen] - I help!
[Crim] - Maybe, maybe, but not know where look.
[Yaunfen] - What look for?
[Deer] Is just watching, amused-
[Crim] - frown and wrings his front paws - Not know! Red rock! Taste different!
[Deer] - Netherrack?
[Crim] - blinks and shrugs. - Not know! Only know taste.
[Deer] - Hmm, Love?  Can we get some items from creative?
[Doc] Sure! - Xe's just happy for a simple problem- how about redstone? Or netherwort? -sets them on the table.
[Liz] -Leans head over to nibble on some redstone-
[Crim] - comes over to sniff the redstone and sneezes. Pokes the netherwort with a claw, not wanting to sneeze more. - No, smells wrong, wrong.
[Yaunfen] Points at magma blocks which form the next room- What about those?
[Crim] - looks over to the blocks. Scuttles over and sniffs. - Smell better. - Then licks the magma block.
[Yaunfen] - Hot!  Hot!
[Crim] - licks the block again, then scrapes several sets of claws across the top.
[Liz] -Eating redstone and watching Crim eat a magma block- Nice.
[Crim] - finally manages to break the block, then takes a sizable bite out of it. He purs, but looks around. - Better, better. But not red rock.
[Doc] What else is even red? - pulls out red wool, red clay and even red cement powder.
[Liz] Fire rock? Have fire rock!
[Crim] - sighs, crunching the last of the magma. Scuttles over to sniff all the things Doc is tossing out.
[Doc] All that's left is poppies , red bedsheets and... Lava.
[Crim] - sighs, shaking his head. - No. Me go hunt more. - Stands and darts out of the kitchen.
[Yaunfen] - Bye!
[Doc] I really hope what he needs isn't confined to the modded seed he came from...
[Buff] I get giving snacks while babysitting, but junk food for breakfast Yaunfen?
[Liz] Iss what Yaun eats!
[Liz] -Proceeds to gnaw on a fire shard since shi mentioned it earlier-
[Doc] Liz is right, they're whole seed is like that. The dirt is cake and the trees drop candy apples and ice cream cones, the water is fizzy soda and the grass is made of fruit Popsicles.
[Buff] Long stare- I think I gained several pounds and got a cavity just thinking about that.
[Yaunfen] Holds a lollipop out for Buff-
[Doc] Pats Liz- how are you doing kiddo?
[Buff] I think I'll pass, thank you though. I like to stick with the basics. Plenty of roughage! -Takes a bite out of a raw potato
[Doc] Okay, even I think that's weird
[Deer] - You wouldn't think so if I did it
[Liz] 'M good! Skee says when I get even bigger he might take me for a trip to where I came from! *cronch
[Doc] Fair enough, but there's a furnace right there. Raw carrots yes, but potatoes?
[Yaunfen] - Mada all done!
[Liz] Dunno how I can get even bigger, I'm already bigger! Do we get even bigger? Like the big big dark one?
[Deer] - Hopefully you will
[Liz] Me too!
[Liz] Weird to think of, but cool too?
[Deer] Very much so!
[Sky] -snoring, head on table-
[Doc] Good on you, finished all your food like a big kid. I've noticed the sneaking out to sleep with me and Deerheart is still at a steady level. Do you need anything for your room? To make it more yours?
[Yaunfen] Shakes head- No, just like being with Mada and Mama
[Doc] Oh okay- Xe gives the little dragon a kiss on their head- I guess i should be glad you don't think mama and mada are totally uncool and want to change your room walls to black wool.
[Yaunfen] Tilts head- Whi I do that?
[Doc] it's a thing that happens to human kids sometimes. They get to a certain age and try to assert their individuality by being as different from their parents as possible.
-cronch-
[Yaunfen] - Oh, can we go play in now?
[Doc] Yes, anything. What do you want to do?
[Yaunfen] Shrugs-
[Doc] I did have something I was saving if you wanted to go fishing... -sly look-
[Yaunfen] - Fishing?
[Doc] Yep. It's a nice day out.
[Buff] Giving Doc a suspicious look - I like fishing, but you're up to something Herobrine.
[Yaunfen] - Let's go!  Let's go!
[Doc] Takes something out of a trunk and puts it quickly away - Coming Deerheart?
[Deer] - I'll join you in a bit, I'm going to clean up in here first
[Doc] Ah, okay. We'll be above you so you'll get a good view at least.
[Buff] Above? Oh! The bay!
[Deer] - Have fun!
[Doc] Leads them up and outside. - I have to make some adjustments first, just in case. - Xe takes a strong stance and raises a wall of dirt up from the floor of the bay where is connects to the sea, so it's blocked off into a pond.
[Buff] Just in case of what?
[Doc] Contamination... Deerheart would kick my butt otherwise.
[Buff] Oh. WHAT?
[Doc] Winks- trust me. - Xe throws a few sponges into the new pond and dries it out.
[Yaunfen] - Fish!  Fish!  Sponge?
[Doc] Now we shore things up a bit just in case. - Xe makes the wall taller so the dry hole is safely isolated and begins pouring it full again with a slightly bubbly blue liquid.
[Buff] What in the world?!
[Yaunfen] - Soda?
[Doc] It's water from your seed sweetheart.
[Yaunfen] Jumps around a little-
[Deer] Is giving suspicious looks from below-
[Doc] Waves at her cheerfully while there's still a minimum of liquid.
[Deer] Starts making her way up-
[Buff] Is that bubbly stuff hot?!
[Doc] Nope! Now for the really fun part.
[Yaunfen] Has shifted back to their dragon form and is jumping around excitedly-
[Doc] Pulls out a very gaudy spawn egg - Here's the fish! - Xe taps it a few times and red, yellow and green fish pop out and swim madly away from the shore-  Go get em!
[Yaunfen] Leaps into the water-
[Deer] - Love?  What is this?
[Doc] A present for our child. A little bit of their home seed. Soda water and sweet gummy fish.
[Buff] Sounds a bit too sweet for me....
[Deer] - At what about the lobsters that were at the bottom of the bay?
[Doc] Ummm.... - sheepish look- I didn't see anything when I dried it out?
[Yaunfen] Races through the water, snapping at the fish-
[Deer] Sighs-
[Doc] Scuffs a boot in the sand - Sorry....
[Buff] I think I'll fish on the other side of the divider.
[Deer] - I love you, but sometimes your excitement gets a bit ahead of you.  But it's understandable after how stressful yesterday was
[Doc] Wilts a bit - This whole week has been stressful... and I'd been saving that for a while. I just want Yaunfen to be happy. And it's a good way to keep a food source close for them.
[Deer] - So the bay will just be perpetual soda now?
[Doc] I can clean it up and move it elsewhere if it bothers you...
[Yaunfen] With a mouth full of red fish- MADA LOOK!
[Deer] - It's fine for the time being- Kisses Doc's cheek
[Doc] Blushes under her kiss-
[Buff] Leans over from his seat on the shore to eyebrow waggle at Doc.
[Doc] Can I have one of those Yaunfen? I want your mom to try it.
[Yaunfen] Swims over with it-
[Doc] Kisses Yaunfen's nose - Thank you. - Xe takes the bright red fish and offers it to Deerheart. It's soft and slightly translucent.
[Deer] Takes it and turns it around in her hands before tasting it- That's...  Odd...
[Doc] Just bite anywhere. There aren't any bones.
[Deer] Bites and makes a face- That's...  Not natural...
[Doc] Nope. It's mostly sugar and gelatin and fake strawberry stuff.
[Deer] Hands it to Doc- I think it has to do with the texture
[Doc] Pokes it gleefully. - Well Yaunfen likes it, and that's the important thing.
[Deer] And what exactly is this gelatin?
[Doc] Hmm? I read up on it online. It's cow hoof.
[Deer] Turns a bit green- No
[Doc] Takes a big bite. - Hehe. Okay love. - Turns to watch Yaunfen play- Try to catch a yellow one! They're sort of sweet and sour. Deerheart, you should join me next time I go over to our little one's seed.
[Deer] - Perhaps, but for now I'm going to go sterilize my mouth with alcohol
[Doc] Awww. Is it better then the gold cheese at least? - Big grin.
[Deer] Narrows eyes- No more kisses for a week
[Doc] Sad pouty face- Not even if I kiss you down in the bushes?
[Deer] - ...  Maybe
[CP] Takes to flight and darts in, grabbing his wife out of the middle of all the thorns and carries her a distance before setting her down-
[Lie] - What...  What happened?
[CP] - That would be your defense
[TLOT] From a distance- Not cool Cp!
[CP] - I don't care TLOT!
[Herabrine] Is walking to town for totally not suspicious reasons and stops - Hey Lie! Wow. Your hair looks nice! Did you figure out how to grow it like your plants? - grins.
-[Lie] - Ummm...  I'm sorry?
[Herabrine] Your hair, it's way longer. And did Cp steal your outfit again? That looks like Alex gear.
[Lie] - Ummm...
[CP] - TLOT it's your turn to explain!
[TLOT] still from a distance- Bite me.
[CP] Growls-
[Herabrine] Explain what?
[CP] - Lie has...  Amnesia
[Herabrine] Is silent for a long moment, just floating a little bit off the ground and then suddenly decks Cp right in the face -
[CP] - THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?
[Herabrine] BECAUSE I'M BETTING YOU HAD SOME PART IN IT!
[CP] - I DID NOT!
[Lie] Is looking between the two of them very confused-
[Herabrine] SAYS THE GUY WHO CAN GET INTO PEOPLE'S DREAMS?!
[CP] - LIE...  Lie made a mistake...
[Herabrine] YOU BASTARD!  - she leaps at him, transforming in the air into her guardian form and squashing him against the ground before flopping and jumping on him -
[CP] Teleports out from under her- YOU BITCH!
[Lie] Yelps in surprise and takes a few steps back-
[Herabrine] Aims a scalding jet of hot water at him.
[Mb] Sneaks up behind Lie - Is this a private party or can anyone play?
[Lie] Sets up another barrier of thorns in surprise-
[CP] - OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!- He counters the water with fire
[Herabrine] Casts mining sickness on him-
[Mb] Leaps backward in alarm- Fuck that noise!
[Celine] No fight! No fight!
[CP] - YOU BITCH HOW ABOUT YOU FIGHT WITHOUT YOUR AIR BALLOON OF A BODY!
[Herabrine] Suddenly tps into his face and hits him with the flat of her tail-
[CP] Stands there unimpressed-
[Herabrine] Douses him with hot water again-
[Lie] - Please...  Please stop...
[Herabrine] Huh?
[Celine] No fight!!!
[Mb] You guys are no fun...
[Lie] Is shaking a little- Please?
[CP] - Lie...
[Herabrine] Goes back to her human shape. -Only because you asked me Lie.
[Celine] Rubs on Lie purring-
[CP] Quietly- She was deleted
[Herabrine] WHO DID IT?! I'LL KILL THEM!!!!
[CP] - My NOTCH
[Herabrine] Snarls in fury -
[Mb] Wait, Lie got deleted? I fucking hate NOTCHs.
[CP] - If Doc and Flux hadn't gotten there in time...
[Herabrine] Hugs Lie as much as she can reach- Lie....
[Lie] - Ah, I'm sorry, but who are you?
[Herabrine] Freezes - Lie....? I'm your best friend...? Herabrine... Oh gods...
[Lie] - I'm sorry, but I don't remember...  I only recall my name...
[CP] - Doc says her memories are still compiling, but they should eventually return
[Herabrine] Is obviously just stunned and sad - I... Lie.... Anything you need to recover... it's yours. Just ask me.
[Lie] - Alright?
[Mb] At Cp - Someone here can FIX deletions?!
[CP] Flies back over and lifts her out of the vines again-  Doc can make it impossible for someone to be deleted, Flux managed to grab Lie's code as it was unraveling so they were able to bring my wife back
[Herabrine] But she has no memories...? What went wrong?
[CP] - Doc believes that the physical repairs took priority over they memories, so until she is physically back to normal, she won't remember anything
[Herabrine] Looks her over. - There are some little things missing. Wait, so this is whole new skin? Can you still be little floof?
[Lie] - Little floof?
[Herabrine] Slides Lie a copy of the thin book before Cp can react.
[Celine] Sees the book and cocks her head sideways - FLOOF!
[Lie] - Oh, a cat form?  I accidentally went into one earlier...
[CP] - WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT!?
[Herabrine] Why wouldn't I? I like to play with kids sometimes.
[CP] Groans-
[Lie] - Why is this book apparently about me?
[Herabrine] Because Doc and Deerheart wrote it. It's a dumbed down version of how you two met....
[Lie] - How we met...- She begins flipping through the pages
[Herabrine] Has the biggest shit eating grin-
[Mb] Floats a bit to look over Lie's shoulder-
[Celine] Jumps around squeaking - FLOOF! FLOOF!
[Lie] - Does your little one want to read it?
[Mb] She's seen it before, but go ahead if you want.
[CP] - ACTUALLY, we were heading somewhere...
[Celine] BOOKBOOKBOOK!
[Lie] Hands the book to MB- Here, I think she might enjoy it more if you read it
[Celine] Scrabbles at Lie - FLOOF READ!
[Lie] Yelps at the scrabbles- Um...  Okay?- Carefully she sits down and motions for the dragon to join her.  Once Celine is settled she begins reading
[Celine] is utterly captivated.
[Mb] is trying to make it look like he's smiling because Cp is annoyed, not because Celine is happy
[CP] Is getting more and more angered-
[Lie] Finishes the book- And that's the end
[Celine] Yay! - Jumps up and down and thumps her tail knob in the dirt, it hits Cps foot on the last thump
[CP] String of curses-
[Lie] - Are you okay?
[CP] - Fucking hard ass tail...
[Celine] Sowwy...
[Mb] Hey! Don't apologize!
[Lie] - No, apologizing is a good thing...  I think...
[CP] Purely to annoy MB- Yeah, it's a good thing
[Celine] Scurries over to Mb- Ma! Ma! (said like meh meh) I do good!
[CP] Snickers-
[Mb] Shut the fuck up! She can't say Master yet!!!
[Lie] - Why would she say Master?
[mb] because it's my fucking name?!
[Lie] - Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know...
[Mb] Snorts-
[Notch] is walking down the path on his phone- will you shut up about the damn computer? I've told you a million times: I'm not your tech supper!
[Notch] Does a double-take and embraces Lie wildly- you're back!!!
[Jeb] still talking on the phone that's no longer by his ear- are you going to comment publicly on the big update at least?! Rumors are flying since you vanished!
[Notch] My daughter in law almost died! And you want to talk about the update?!
[Jeb] Wait? A girl?! Fucking  hell! I saw the logs! Did your group fuck up Harvestman?!
[Notch] Stops hugging Lie to yell into the phone - they're people damn it! Delete that monster!!!
[Lie] Is looking at Notch very confused- Um...
[CP] Is groaning-
[Lie] - You... You're Notch, right?  We met yesterday...
[Notch] oh..... Still no memories?
[Jeb] what do you mean no memories? What the heck is going on?
[CP] - Precisely... Can I go punch that moron in the face no?
[Notch] Waves at Cp to please be quiet for a minute- yeah, it's none of your business Jeb. Now finish what you were saying, I have other things to take care of. [Jeb] lots of hurried words- [Notch] is Minecraft what?? Oh for the love of...
[Notch] Yes, yes, I'll tweet about it! Yes, soon! If only to piss off the homophobes! Fuck sake...- closes his phone and scowls at it-
[Lie] -Who was that you were speaking to?
[Notch] that's Jeb, he had a hand in creating everything you see around you. He's just not good with squishy human relations.
[Lie] Oh, I see
[CP] - Lie we should get going...
[Notch] No, you need to hear this too, it's ridiculous! I'm being asked to make an in the record comment as to whether Minecraft is gay or not!
[CP] - An I care why?
[Lie] - Is it?
[TLOT and Steve] walking up-
[Notch] Yes!- gestures at TLOT and Steve-
[TLOT] What?
[CP] - Oh for fucks sake- He's getting more and more fidgety trying to control his temper
[Notch] We released our most colorful update during pride month, with a rainbow parade announcement on the front page! How much more obvious did it need to be?
[CP] Gives off a burst of fire- WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER!
[Lie] Jumps a little and almost bumps into Hera.  Lie glances at the other female brine- Is he...  Is he always this short tempered?
[Notch] Because it was my intention all along! Why do you think players don't pick a gender when they join? And why the animals and basic humans don't spawn with any natural sexual dimorphism?! Minecraft is open to everyone! Gay, lesbian, bi, queer, ace, pan, poly, everybody!
[TLOT] ... That's actually really cool Markus.
[Notch] Thank you!
[Mb] so my home game is officially gay. Greeeeaat.
[Herabrine] Yeah usually, you're the one who keeps him calm.
[CP] - YOU SHIT HEAD!  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CRAP I'M GONNA GET FOR THIS FROM THE OTHER PASTAS!?
[Lie] - ...  Is it an arranged marriage?
[Herabrine] Only in the sense that Herobrines are drawn to someone who is perfectly compatible and then lose the ability to hurt that person. They're generally okay with murdering anyone else.
[Notch] It's not always about you Cp! I wanted to make an inclusive game since way before you were ever spawned!
[Lie] Looks unsure- How am I the one compatible for him?  I can't see it...
[CP] Flips Notch off-
[TLOT] You can't see it because you're not seeing how he was when we first brought you in. Here.... let me give you a taste. - He opens her mind and lets a trickle of memories flow into her's of Cp's behavior, it's from his perspective though.
[Lie] Pales a little, a small tremble going through her-
[TLOT] quietly - Doc helped, but you've made a world of difference.
[Notch] Slides over to Cp - You, know considering that she has no memories. You're making a really bad impression on her....
[CP] Freezes a little and glances over at her, seeing her expression and trembles-
[Herabrine] Gives him an expectant look and gestures to her minutely-
[TLOT] Mentally to Cp- Don't lose your chance...
[CP] - Lie...- He's not actually sure what to do
[Herabrine] He's an idiot Lie, but he does love you. That fucker would happily throw the rest of us to the wolves if it was a choice between all of us or you.
[Lie] - Are you sure?
[TLOT] She's correct. Irritating as it is. Doc has shed a lot of tears because xe overestimated how important xe is as his 'friend'.
[Lie] - I'm not sure I understand...
[Steve] quietly - You're his everything. Herobrine's are very choosy about their mates. Once they fall in love, that's it. They can die if they're rejected. It's the only thing that checks their godly powers.
[CP] - Lie, come on, you said you wanted to see where we live...
[Notch] Pats Cp's shoulder to show he's not mad.
[Lie] - O...  Okay...- She's a bit hesitant to follow CP at the moment, but she's trusting what the others are telling her
[Mb] Love is for weenies.
[Celine] Jumps on him and almost knocks him down - Ma!
[Notch] Pfft!
[Herabrine] Follows Lie and Cp-
[CP] Is annoyed that Hera is following them.  They are passing Stevie's house and the Milotic is sunning itself in the shallows below the house-
[Herabrine] Waves at the Milotic and makes some odd noises at it in greeting-
[Milotic] Raises its head in makes noises in return-
[Herabrine] Chuckles happily. - Nice to have other sea critters around. Except for Basil, it's an asshole.
[Lie] - Basil?
[Herabrine] A massive black sea monster that likes to eat bad vibes. Stand Cp on the shore and poke him with a stick. He throws off enough negative energy to get you a good sighting if your curiousity gets the better of you.
[Lie] - Maybe not...
[CP] - We're here- Ahead of them Lie's house come into view, the small horse pen in front holding it's usual occupants and barking can be heard from the dog pen
[Herabrine] Home sweet home. With all your pets. That stir any memories in the old noggin?
[Lie] Shakes her head- No, but it certainly is a lovely place
[CP] - You built almost the entire place
[Herabrine] Yeah, you had a bit of help. TLOT built Endrea's room on the top and I heard Doc helped decorate the treehouse part and set up the swings.
[Lie] - Who's Endrea?
[CP] - I suppose you could say that she's our dragon
[Herabrine] She's a massive black and purple dragon with three adorable baby dragons. You and Cp raised her from an egg.
[Lie] - Raised her?  How did we get her?
[CP] - She was originally just my dragon, but she has a rebirth cycle, so when she dies she becomes an egg again.  She also made a contract to serve you
[Herabrine] She's pretty cool. And she can look humanoid, hence the normal sized room. Raising baby dragons is like a local hobby around here.
[Lie] - Oh
[CP] Opens the door to the house and immediately Hope runs out and starts rubbing against Lie-
[Lie] -Awww, what a cute kitty
[Herabrine] That's Hope... Your kitten.
[Lie] - She's mine?
[CP] - She's absurdly attached to you
[Herabrine] She thought little Floof was her mama, now you sort of are.
[Lie] - You mean my cat form?
[Herabrine] Yep. One and the same.
[Lie] Reaches down and picks up Hope who snuggles into her arms-
[CP] - The Vulpix's will probably bombard you with affection too...
[Lie] - Vulpix's?
[CP] - You'll see- He holds the door open for Lie and motions her inside.
[Lie] Walks in and looks at her surroundings, they entered via the side door to the workshop and so the barking from the dogs is much louder since they are just on the other side of the window.  Her fingers brush over the books which surround her enchanting table and she stops and looks at the pumpkin by the back door with confusion- Butts?
[Herabrine] Yeah... No clue. It's been there as long as the house has though.
[Lie] Softly grunts but heads for the window- Wow...  There's so many animals outside...  I really take care of them all?
[CP] - You get help rather often
[Herabrine] Yeah... you're good at making friends Lie... really good.
[Lie] - Well I suppose that's a good thing!- Her hand twitches towards her chest
[CP] - Lie?
[Herabrine] Gives her a hopeful stare -Lie?
[Lie] - It's nothing, just some twitches...
[CP] There's a faint glow coming from his chest-
[Herabrine] Are you sure? Should I call Doc?
[Lie] - I...  I don't know...'
[Herabrine] They can do an x-ray just by looking, I'll call. - Is typing-
[CP] - Lie, do you need to sit down?  I can always take you up to the bedroom...
[Doc] knocks on the door and then comes in anyway- Is something happening?!
[Herabrine] Points at Cp's chest-
[Doc] What? OH!
[CP] - Why are you pointing at me?
[Doc] look down-
[CP] Glances down at his chest- Oh...
[Lie] - What's happening?
[Doc] I think one of your missing organs is reforming. And Cp has the other part of it, so his is reacting to it.
[Lie] - What are you talking about?- A particularly strong pulse goes through her and her hand comes up to clutch at her chest
[Doc] Can you pull your shirt down a bit, please?
[Lie] - Um, okay- She tugs the top of the shirt down.  There's a very faint flicker of red light
[Doc] Ah. That's some very important progress. - Xe puts down a wool block and motions for her to sit-
[Lie] Shakily sits- Is there anything I need to do?
[Doc] No, just relax. See, I gave you some of my recursive code just like I did for Cp, and you're rebuilding what you lost from the inside out. I don't think you'll get as much use out of it as Cp and I since you don't like to fight, but it's a good insurance policy.
[Lie] - I'm feeling so weird right now...  Like some sort of connection...
[CP] Is watching worriedly-
[Doc] It is a connection. It was was a wedding gift. Two identical hearts made from one block and exchanged between you. They let you and him share your dreams when you sleep together.
[Lie] - Share dreams?  Wait...- She looks at Hera- Didn't you mention something about my husband having command over dreams earlier?
[Herabrine] Yeah, he's the nightmare king. He can drop someone into a stress dream and hold them there. Even kill them in their dream and they'll die for real. They can't even wake up unless he lets them.
[Lie] - I don't like the sound of that...
[CP] - Hey!  I only used it on you a couple of times very early on...
[Doc] Yeeeaaah.... that was rough. It's handy if we need to subdue someone who won't stop trying to fight everyone though, or... - Xe flashes back to the time Cp used it on hir and the hopelessness and fear they felt sets hir shivering all over again.
[Lie] Is about to ask another question when another wave of pain passes through her and she curls in on herself- Why does this hurt so much?- The glow is much more distinct now
[CP] - Calm down Lie, it won't be long before the pain is gone.  And you weren't in any danger Doc...
[Herabrine] Should I get a potion or something?!
[Doc] quietly to Cp- It still hurt my hearts.
[Lie] - Do you think a potion would help?
[CP] Moves so he's behind Lie-  Hey, just focus on me, it will be okay
[Doc] No idea... This isn't sickness anyway. Just growing pains.
[Lie] Shifts back towards CP instinctually-
[Doc] Mind if I have a look?
[Lie] - Go ahead...
[Doc] Stands in front of her and makes a hand sized portal edged with statick in the air to look into her chest.
-The heart is nearly formed, it's pulsating a bit wildly, trying to find it's other half's rhythm to match it-
[Doc] Watches, more then a bit entranced.
[Herabrine] peeks over - not quite done yet. But getting there.
[Doc] It's beautiful...
[Lie] - I feel out of breath...
[CP] Touches her shoulders, trying to be reassuring and her red stone heart reacts-
[Doc] Just stay calm. This is what's supposed to happen
[Lie] Her heart gives a spurt of growth, reaching it's full size, but it still can't find it's rhythm-
[Doc] Cp... try squeezing her hand in tempo with your beats. Show it the way.
[CP] - What makes you think I can feel the tempo of mine?- He does however reach for Lie's hand
[Doc] You're psychic and you can't take your own pulse Cp?
[Herabrine] Ha!
[CP] - Never had a reason to!
[Doc] Fine. But this is going to hurt. Sorry Lie. - Xe slides close to them both
[Lie] Watches a bit nervously-
[Doc] Puts hir hand on Cp's chest and feels the stone heart to take it's beats, with hir other hand xe reaches through the little hole and holds Lie's new heart tightly for only a moment to stop it and then releases it so it falls in line with Cp's as it resumes.
[Lie] Jerks in surprise at the contact-
[CP] Wraps his arms around Lie to hold her close-
[Doc] Picks up the hole like a plate and looks through it again. - That's better.
[Lie] - I'm...  I'm tired now...
[Doc] Maybe that's for the best. A bit of bedrest won't hurt you any.
[CP] Reaches down and scoops Lie up- Our bed is just upstairs-
[Doc] Oookay. I'm staying close by though.
[Herabrine] Sleep well my friend.
[CP] - Sure, close as in back at your castle
[CN] Is sitting in one of the arches of the bridge-
[Doc] I'll be outside.
[CN] - Lie!
[CP] - Not now, she's tired
[CN] - Where did you take her?  What's going on?  Why is your dad watching me?
[CP] - CN, shut up...
[Doc] Walked outside and transformed under the room before lifting hir head up to peek into the window arch across from them-
[CN] - Tell me what's going on!
[CP] Kicks open the bedroom door-
[Lie] Glances around the room- This is...
[CP] - Our bedrrom
[CN] - Why are you having to explain that!  Of course she knows where she sleeps you big meanie!
[CP] Is very close to kicking CN's ass-
[Doc] Cn.... I'll tell you if you calm down.
[CN] Is frustrated as CP closes the door on him- What's going on!
[Doc] Cn, stop. Lie went out on her own and got badly hurt.
[CN] - No!  Why didn't she take me?  I could have protected her!  That's my job!
[Doc] You would have been deleted. I was almost deleted myself.
[CN] - What...  What could do that...?
[Doc] The same NOTCH that took it upon himself to kill Cp's father, turn his brother against him, deleted his mobs for fun, and was the cause of Cp's recent almost death.
[CN] - A NOTCH?  But... But what would drive one of my kind to do that?
[Doc] We don't know. I don't know why the one that hounded TLOT almost to his death did it either.
[CN] - I don't understand...  Why...  Why does this happen
[Doc] I don't know. I'm just grateful that it seems like the programming parameters have been recently changed.
[CN] - Changed?  Does that mean I'll change?
[Doc] No, you're already generated. Unless you're manually deleted, you'll stay the same. Or... if you want me to adjust your form. - Shakes hir mane a bit for emphasis.
[CN] Shakes his head- I don't know...  But I'm scared...
[Doc] What are you scared of?
[CN] - My lack of strength...  The fact that I only seem to screw things up...  I can't do anything...  And if I were to change, then maybe I'd end up bad...
[Doc] You're young, and you're still learning. It's okay to make mistakes. And being strong doesn't change who you are. Deciding to be an asshole is a concious decision, not a feature creep.
[CN] - Are you sure?
[Doc] Do you really think I wouldn't call someone out if I didn't like their behavior?
[CN] Shakes head-
[Doc] Well there you go. Did you have something specific in mind? Or were you just planning on training until you get some muscles?
[CN] - I don't know...
[Doc] You know... I suspect your child form might be permenant. If you ever want to grow up, I know TLOT could make it happen easily.
[CN] - Grow up?
[Doc] You know, be full size, like Markus. Two blocks high.
[CN] - You mean he wasn't always that size?
[Doc] No, he was a kid once. Like the human children in the village. Before that, he was a baby like Hyrule.
[CN] - Hyrule?
[Doc] Oh, You know BEN right? Dresses in green, with a sockcap? Black and red eyes? He has a son. You should ask to see him next time him or Aven is around.
[CN] - Oh...  But all the other kids are going to get bigger?  But...  I won't?
[Doc] Yes. I'm pretty sure. And I'm pretty sure you being small is what keeps Cp from stomping on you when you make him mad. He'll kill an adult happily, but he has a very hard time even being slightly mean to children.
[CN] Looks down- Is that all I am then?  Just a child meant to be an annoyance?
[Doc] No, you're a green NOTCH. Your progress was retarded somewhat by spawing out in the void, it's okay to not know where you fit just yet. At least Lie likes you. It would be worse if you and her were sworn enemies.
[CN] - But she doesn't need me...
[Doc] You don't know that. NOTCH AI's often have some kind of special powers so they aren't just slain by their brines. We just don't know what yours might be. Just take your time. You might be suprised later on.
[CN] - Okay...
[Doc] Rests hir chin on the sill - Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?
[CN] Shakes head-
[Doc] Hey.... I have an idea. There's a new critter in the update that might be to your liking.  - fusses around in the creative menu
[CN] Watches curiously-
[Doc] You'll need these - tosses out some seeds-
[CN] Gathers them in his hands-
[Doc] Here we go! - xe taps a colorful spawn egg and a white and yellow parrot pops out and hops on the floor - Just tap it with the seeds.
[CN] Fumbles a little but does manage it and soon hearts appear around the parrot- What did I do?
[Doc] You tamed a parrot. They're yours now.
[CN] - So do I take it's feathers now?
[Doc] No! It's a living thing. Be nice to it. Pulling it's feathers out would hurt it!
[CN] - But isn't it for my collection?
[Doc] Yes. Because a friendly bird with feathers still attached is better then a clump of feathers on a string.
[CN] Isn't sure-
[Doc] If you're nice to it, it will fly after you and ride your shoulder. It'll also repeat the sounds it hears.
[CN] - Really?
[Doc] Try it. Talk to the bird.
[CN] - Like what?
[Doc] Anything. Make some animal noises, that would be funny.
[CN] Tries barking like a dog-
[CP] Sticks head out of the bedroom door- Will you two shut up?
[Parrot] Makes a barking noise-
[Chomp] Hears the barking and starts barking as well which sets off all the wolves-
[CP] Is already ready to fire ball the bird-
[Doc] Puts hir head between Cp and the bird/Cn - we're just playing. Cool your heels Cp.
[CP] - Well go do it elsewhere- He shuts the door again
[Doc] Flaps hir jaw in imitation of Cp once the door is shut, strictly to make Cn laugh.
[Parrot] elsewhere! elsewhere!
[CN] Giggles a little-
[Doc] See? It's a cute bird. Promise me your won't pluck it.
[CN] - Okay
[Doc] There you go. And if you're patient, parrots shed feathers periodically anyway. Just set up something in your room for it to perch on.
[CN] - Like what?
[Doc] Armor stand maybe?
[CN] Shrugs-
[Doc] You'll think of something.
[CN] - Okay- Turns and goes into his room
[CP] Teleports out onto the bridge and shoves Doc's head off- Fuck off!
[Doc] Is thrown off balance a bit and almost stumbles into the water. Xe shakes a wet paw in annoyance and huffs before curling up under the room-
[CP] Is watching Lie sleep, her sleep is once again not good, as she tosses and turns in her sleep.  After a short while he crawls over onto the bed and pulls Lie into his arms which calms her sleeping down.  He brushes some hair out of her face as he watches her- Please...  Just come back to me, I don't know what to do without you...
[Doc] Hears the quiet words and sighs. - Having the honesty blossoms near the bedroom once again proves a good idea.
[CP] Hears Doc and growls a little but keeps his wife close- Shut up Doc
[Doc] Settles down and sets out hir personal command block, with a few claw taps xe starts listening to a podcast at the lowest volume. The smooth voice speaks of forbidden dog parks, angels and drifting glow clouds. Before long Doc is dozing to the soothing sounds and the sky turns red and gold as the sun slips under the horizon.
[Lie] She stirs awake once morning comes around and she's a bit surprised to find herself in CP's arms again.  CP glances down at her-
[CP] - Hey, sleep okay?
[Lie] - Yeah, sorry about falling asleep with you again...- She's a bit flushed
[CP] - There's no problem, you seem to be sleeping better if I'm holding you anyways
[Lie] - I'm sorry, it must be an inconvenience to you...
[CP] - Never, besides, you're comfort is more important
[Lie] - And you're really okay with this?
[CP] - Absolutely
-Outside there's a bit of fumbling around as Steffan goes around tending to Lie's animals-
[Lie] - I think yesterday was a bit overwhelming...
[CP] - How so?
[Lie] - There was just so much going on, so many new faces and names...
[CP] - If you start to feel overwhelmed let me know, I'll take you away to someplace quiet
[Lie] - Thank you
[Steffan] Notices Doc and sneaks over. - Any news?
[Doc] No... her special heart grew back but she still has no memories.
[Steffan] Bummer...
[CP] Motions towards one of the trunks in the room- If you want to change into some clothes that are actually yours...
[Lie] - Thank you
[CP] Slips out of the room to give Lie her space-
[Doc] quietly- good morning Cp.
[Steffan] Morning big guy!
[CP] Flips Doc off as he leans against the wall of the bridge-
[Steffan] I'll just go... feed the pigs then...
[Doc] Palms a few emeralds and passes them to him.
[Steffan] Thanks dude.
[Lie] Steps out onto the bridge wearing the end stone shirt and dark pants that Doc made her- So what now?
[Doc] I don't know. I guess it's just a matter of time. It's up to you.
[Lie] I see, would you...  Would you mind if I stayed here for awhile?  I think I'd like to explore my home a bit more
[Doc] I don't mind. I'm just trying to stay close in case I'm needed.
[CP] - You're not
[Doc] When you can work on peoples physical ailments at the same level I do, then you can say that to me Cp. For now you're just being rude.
[CP] Growls a little as Lie walks past him to do some more exploring-
[Doc] And I'm not bothering you. I'm just laying here.
[CP] - You're here, that's reason enough
[Doc] Glares at him- What's your problem anyway? It's not like any of this is my fault.
[CP] Says nothing, but he's on edge.  He just wants his wife back to normal and it's driving him nuts not having her so-
[Doc] I think I have one of her calming blossoms here someplace if you want it.
[CP] Motions towards the greenhouse-
[Doc] No need to pluck her blooms if I already have one. Ah, here- Xe holds the flower lightly in hir teeth by the stem and sets it on the windowsill
[CP] Is really tempted to just knock it off like a cat-
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punsville · 8 years ago
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Tree Puns
Hilarious tree puns you can laugh at
How does a tree get on the Internet? It logs in.
Friend went to a Star Trek fancy dress party dressed as a tree. He was the Captain’s Log.
A local bank is opening an ATM in a tree. If its successful, they might expand to other branches.
I used to spend lots of time with a friend in his tree house. Then we fell out.
A friend is tracing his family tree. He’s not very good at drawing.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “in a nut shell, it’s an oak tree”.
Local police force has recruited a tree. It’s Special Branch.
Someone took my mate’s fake Christmas tree. It’s not fir.
What do you get hanging from ash trees? Sore arms.
What cheese do you use to encourage a bear out of a tree? Camembert.
How do trees access the internet? They log on.
What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch.
Why did the pine tree get in trouble? Because it was being knotty.
What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party? Swimming trunks!
A crime was committed in the forest, and the police are stumped.
Who did it? Yew know who.
Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn? In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree? A sour puss.
What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister? Leaf me alone, birch!
Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it? It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes!
What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
How do you properly identify a dogwood tree? By the bark!
What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you!
Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.
Why do trees make great thieves? Sticky fingers.
Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school? She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
Which side of a tree has the most leaves? The outside
What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks!
What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
What is a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
What kind of tree can fit into your hand? A palm tree!
How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark!
What did the little tree say to the big tree? Leaf me alone!
Did you hear the one about the oak tree? It’s a corn-y one!
Why did the pine tree get into trouble? Because it was being knotty
What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started a new branch
Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree? May the Forest be with you.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
What is a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
What did the Tree Hugging hottie say to the guy in the SUV? “Turning off your Engine, gets my motor humming”
How do Republicans plan on fighting record high temperatures? By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius!
Enjoyed these tree puns? Check also:
Ice Puns
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