#he looks hunky here tbh

[partycatty]

Do you write for other characters like bi han or tomas?

i do! i'm just mentally ill over johnny LOL

lin kuei trio > caught

the boys can't keep their eyes off of you! what're you gonna do about it?!

warnings: idk nothing much tbh, i guess a little nsfw at the end of smoke's part but nothing crazy, controversial bi-han take? kuai favoritism <3 & google translate

notes: pretend that bi-han's betrayal doesn't happen for his part. i rewrote this twice bc i kept accidentally clicking on notifs and forgetting to save. third time's the charm :3 also pls admire that i specifically made gifs of each man making eye contact w you teehee

masterlist <3

♡

bi-han >

•let me preface this by saying i heavily disagree with the headcanons of most of his fics. this man is ASS at verbalizing affection, and probably wants a trad wife to serve him. he won't call you "princess" or "doll," and PDA is not his strong suit. he'll love you of course, he just wouldn't show it with flowers and cuddles.

•that being said, all he could do was eye you down as you opened the front door, coming face to face with him, his brother kuai liang, and the fire god liu kang. your jaw opened and closed rapidly, trying to make sense of the two ninjas and man with glowing eyes.

•"uhh, there's no hunky ninja-themed bachelorette party here tonight," you say, raising an eyebrow. "try two houses down. lord knows they're a couple of freaks—" before you could close the door on them, bi-han reaches forward and sticks his foot in the door. liu kang, the primary voice of reason and supposed leader of the situation, asks to enter your home. you don't feel like you're in a position to decline.

•kuai liang wanders your living room, tracing his finger across your shelves and leaning in to inspect your paintings. liu kang stands in front of you, giving you the whole "earthrealm, fire god, tournament, chosen one" spiel, we all know how it goes. but you're struggling to focus, struggling pretty hard actually, because bi-han is literally standing like a statue at your kitchen island a few feet away, his icy glare seemingly stabbing through your skull. perhaps he's just intimidating you into an agreement. it works.

•you really hope that bi-han's staring ends there, but you are a damn fool.

•you train alongside the other recruited earthrealmers, taking a short break when you see a now-familiar trio stroll through the training grounds. yellow, grey... and blue. and even though their destination seems well past your location, bi-han literally could not tear his eyes away from you as you sat under the tree as you try to relieve yourself of the ruthless heat of the sun. he drinks in your damp form, and the way your hair sticks sweetly to your forehead. that is, until kuai liang gives him an obvious playful jab to his side, making bi-han snap forward and continue to lead his brothers, not before shooting him a nasty look. icy frost is noticeable on his fists as he clenches them.

•are you losing your mind? why the hell is the grandmaster of the lin kuei eating you alive with his eyes alone? you try to confide in your earthrealm partners, but raiden shrugs, kenshi's at a loss for words, and kung lao and johnny just laugh boisterously at your oblivious nature.

•finally, you're accompanying the lin kuei trio as they wait for instruction from liu kang regarding the soul stealing beacons. smoke and scorpion sit on the bench while sub-zero paces endlessly. each time he faces your way, he locks eyes with you. what is this guy's deal? it literally looks like he wants to skin you alive.

•kung lao and raiden permit them to enter liu kang's meeting room, and bi-han immediately struts off with a noticeable tinge of pink on his face. as the other two follow, you stop and grab kuai liang's shoulder gently, making him face you with surprised eyes.

•"pardon my hindrance, scorpion," you say with a quick bow. "but your grandmaster has been eyeing me down since as long as i've known him. is... is there something i did? something he is displeased with? i find it quite unnerving."

•kuai liang's face freezes, and then very clearly fights a shit-eating smirk. it's not typical for him to be as amused as he is now, but how could he resist when he could literally see what was going on? he chuckles for a moment.

•"bi-han thinks you'd make a good wife," kuai liang replies, a smile tugging at his lips. "please forgive his harsh expression. he couldn't shake it if he tried."

•with that, bi-han's younger brother turns on his heel and enters the mission debrief, leaving you beet red and suddenly completely understanding the signs after the fact.

•when the trio returns successful, you stop noticing his eye contact, because you're too embarrassed to even glance in his general direction. doesn't stop him, though.

♡

smoke >

•you were an initiate of the shirai ryu following its formation. disgusted by the betrayal of your former grandmaster, tomas and kuai liang beckoned you to carry on a new oath in a new chapter of the close-knit clan. you had not seen them much prior to this, but they didn't think to question your dedication.

•since reforming the clan and being given a higher position rather than a lowly grunt, your uniform changed. the once all-black, full-body uniform became something you could design. you opted for something a little more... breathable. think mk11 mileena.

•shut up i know ninja uniforms are like that for a reason just bear with me

•you decide to debut said outfit at a meeting over tea, strutting in and taking your seat with grace. tomas nearly chokes on his damn tea, a single puff of smoke shooting from his lips as he coughs. he wishes he had his mask on right about now, so he could conceal his reddening cheeks. you, his brother, and harumi look at him with partially perplexed, partially amused glances before moving on, hoping to save smoke from the embarrassment of being confronted.

•every time you leaned forward to point at the map centered on the table, tomas's eyes were glued to you. this poor man doesn't know what to do with himself when you're just so pretty! taking a gentle sip of your tea as kuai liang asks tomas about the new recruit, that hasashi boy, you glance up past the cup and realize tomas is quite literally giving you heart eyes, completely entranced. you chuckle to yourself. it is quite cute when he looks at you like that, lips parted and eyes gentle.

•"grandmaster," you say calmly, turning toward the pyromancer. "it seems your second-in-command missed your question. would you mind repeating yourself?" as you ask, tomas seemingly snaps out of it and tries to conceal his devious thoughts, putting his palm over his mouth and leaning on his elbow on the table.

•kuai liang groans to himself before repeating the question, one that tomas answers quickly and a little anxiously. he flashes you a sheepish smile. harumi giggles and look at the two of you knowingly.

•a long evening of training kicked your ass, and you decided you deserved a good rest in the nearby hot springs. fully confirming you're alone in the moonlight, you strip of your uniform and dip into the hot water. your tense muscles unravel at the warmth and you let out a pleased moan at the relief. the water reaches just above your breasts and you're about to lean your head back and close your eyes, letting the comfort of the water encapsulate you.

•that is, until you see a faint trail of smoke creep out from behind you and dip into the water around you. you smile knowingly, not even bothering to turn around.

•"tomas," you say, a hint of playful displeasure in your tone. "for a ninja, your stealth skills are starting to fall apart."

•your trained ears hear him freeze completely and let out a little gasp. tomas slips out a curse in his native language. now it's time to toy with your food.

•still in the water, you spin around and prop yourself up against the ledge of the hot springs, looking up at him seductively. tomas breaks from his deer in headlights pose and faces you, looking down and trying so incredibly hard to remain focused on your eyes, but it's just so hard when your breasts are right—

•"i've seen the way you look at me," you confess in a sultry voice. "i'm not a blind fool. it's incessant."

•"i-i didn't think you were," tomas stammers out, crouching down to be more eye level with you. "i meant no offense, you're just so... so—"

•"none taken," you chuckle, tilting your head. "were you going to be a peeping tom, or join me, then?"

♡

kuai liang >

•since being recruited for earthrealm's part in the tournament, kuai liang has paid more visits than probably necessary to run into you during your months of training.

•he'd be all like "omg heeeey what are youuuu doing hereeee" knowing damn well of your schedule (i'm lying i'm just in love with this yummy little s'more).

•though he would get into the habit of taking late night strolls around the wu shi academy to clear his mind. it was happenstance that you enjoyed the same habit.

•this man is huge and hunky, giving you comfort and safety as you navigate the moonlit paths of the land. he finds you to be a sweet conversation partner, carrying yourself with elegance and kindness that perfectly compliments his humble, noble spirit. you speak of a passion to fight for what is right, so focused on speaking and gesturing that you don't even realize kuai liang is staring down at you with utmost admiration. his heart warms (more than usual) at what a catch you are — for the tournament...!

•"tell me, scorpion," you speak up, looking up at him with eyes that could melt. "are you the only of your family to harness the power of fire?"

•"it is a long running ability in my family," kuai liang replies, confidently but with a gentle tone. "the methods in which we harness this power are a well-kept secret."

•"even so, scorpions don't burn," you reply quickly with an amused tone, grinning up at the man. you realize he was already looking down at you with a mirrored smile. "what makes you a scorpion?"

•"my strength and sting," he says as if he were reading a script. then again, he's probably been asked this hundreds of times. his brothers were icy sub-zero and hazy smoke, his name didn't exactly fit the narrative.

•as you part your lips to continue your conversation, a gust of wind makes you shiver and you let out a little gasp, instinctively wrapping your arms around yourself. kuai remains unfazed but takes note of your chilliness.

•"are you alright, xiǎo huǒhuā?" he asks with a hint of uncharacteristic concern. your face warms momentarily at the nickname, only to be reminded of the bitter cold with another gust of wind. it wasn't the first time he said that unfamiliar phrase, but you just never thought to ask about it. reflecting on it now, you're realizing it's a pet name. you rub your arms.

•"just... cold," you reply with a trembling lip. "times like these i wish i had your power." for the first time in a while, kuai liang breaks his gaze from you and looks down at his hands, debating whether or not to speak up. he didn't want to push any boundaries with you, as he genuinely enjoyed your presence. still, he decided he's only got one shot.

•"it's a power i'm willing to share," he replies lowly, sticking his hands out palms-up. you look up at him, hesitant about his offer. another gust of wind, harsher this time, pushes on your back and pulls you toward him. you catch yourself on his hands. they're so warm and inviting. they're not necessarily soft, but they feel comforting and... god, so warm. as you sigh with relief, you look up again and realize that, just like every time beforehand, kuai liang was looking down at you with a soft smile. he was just always warm as a pyromancer, heat creeping through his skin no matter the weather.

•you two had successfully broken the barrier of touch, and you continue to walk down the path. kuai holds both of your hands in one of his, the other wrapped around your shoulder and rubbing up and down your arm to keep you from being too chilly. it's a sweet embrace, one that neither of you want to fully unpack yet, but it's a step nonetheless.

•"why is it that every time i look at you, you're already looking at me?" you ask quietly, enamored by his embrace. kuai tenses up momentarily, feeling a little sheepish at the direct confrontation. he soon relaxes after finding the right words.

•"because you're beautiful, xiǎo huǒhuā," he replies gently, squeezing your arm and hands tenderly.

•"what does that word mean?" you ask, face flushed and entire body no longer concerned over the cold.

•"...little spark."

•and so, you two continue to walk down the path in the moonlight, now in his comforting, toasty embrace.

[wonderful-magician]

pls give deets on ur CB interpretation

HI I LOVE TALKING ABOUT CB IM GOING TO DUMP MY CB REWRITE/BACKSTORY HERE HAHAAAAA

Small mentions of death and injury /judgements on disability/ mentions of the post race crash. Nothing major I just like to make sure people know.

Ok so I know some people would be a bit disappointed by this but my Red Caboose is 2015 Caboose. and the OLC CB design is like.. tbh I don't know what he's doing he probably exists because most the OLC guys also exist in my au but I have yet to decide so I never redesigned/drew him. Oops. A lot of my OLC cast is dead and or uhhh idk like old. And Vic ( 2018 caboose. ) is not related to CB, simply the only other car with the same job.

( CB is a caboose and Vic a Brake Van. Same purpose, different ways they do it. Also Vic is British and CB is from New York. GET THEM!! )

C.B. is old. He's a red wooden cupola Caboose. But if you looked at him you would not be able to tell his birth year was 1891. As he's ( now ) very up kept and in surprisingly good condition. Not a single white hair in sight! And he regularly washes and repaints his wood.

He's younger than all the oldies ( momma, poppa, belle ) but he's like... Up there. Though mentally he's been stuck at like 19-23 for.. basically his whole life. As most trains are mentally younger and stuck at a mental age.

Simple start. CB was a red boxcar, he had a few brothers that were also color coded and he spent all his time with them. Similar to the Rockies- but not... Boxers. They were considered annoying in their yard but they specifically annoyed rambling McCoy! A new young steam engine who was trying to prove his worth to impress Memphis belle. CB- who was Nick named red. Raced with McCoy during this time. And even after McCoy won and got the heart of Memphis belle. Red and McCoy still partnered.

At some point in the early 1900s-1910s red was injured and then converted to a Red cupola Caboose. And was moved to another yard. This conversion..went poorly. Mostly because it was from a nearly lethal injury to being partially rebuilt. CB found himself deaf and having essentially forgotten all the details of the last decade of his life. To this day CB doesn't remember his childhood or his time with McCoy and his siblings. He just knows he was a boxcar. And since he was at a new yard. He didn't have anybody to help him remember. CB lived in yards ranging from New York to Michigan to Ohio. He spent some time in Canada for a while too. And he was deaf for a long time. But he got very good at sign language and reading lips. After being outcasted and downright mocked for his disability ( specifically by other caboose and engines. He befriended a lot of coaches back in the day. And still spends most of his time now with the coaches instead of his co-workers. ) he learned to slink to the shadows and help the people who were stronger than him. Around this time- was when he started crashing trains. Usually he just wanted to injure the engines that had wronged him or a coach friend of his. but eventually it became a mix of impulse and a desire to be better than those larger than him.

He was moving around until the 1960's, when he finally was brought by poppa to the Apollo-Victoria. Along with a certain coach named Dinah! As the two had become friends ( and exes ) for some time before poppa had managed to get them moved over to the Apollo-Victoria.

CB also looked like *crap* during all those years. As he was moved around and was simply not well taken care of. Along with generally not taking good care of himself... Like at all. Paint was peeling and his wood showed signs of potential rot. Along with his hearing aids that he had managed to acquire just being low quality. And uncomfortable for him to wear. ( As he had them under his hunky headphones. ) But he was updated and fixed up. Around this time, Dinah started dating the upcoming racer that was greaseball. And CB helped poppa raise who was young in the freight. ( Which included flat-top, rusty and Dustin. )

CB also got kinda conspiracy theorist during this time. Hes a big hypocrite... And hes still crashing trains. But now he's directly helping specifically greaseball. ( Or anybody who asks, or he feels like telling ) He befriends every coach who comes along. And sucks up to any engine in power. Ignoring "lesser" engines basically. And becomes a brother figure to most of the freight. ( Though the Rockies and flat top like to mock him. ) Most in the yard don't know anything about CB.

CB only started to really realize what he was doing ( or.. care. About what he was doing ) when after the race, nobody really particularly seemed to... Care. GB had Dinah and his gang. And Electra had his components. But CB found that only rusty and poppa actually acknowledged him while he was injured and stuck in his home at the old radio tower. He was really injured. And this time he actually remembered all of it. A taste of his own medicine some would say. And afterwards. He really worked to fix his reputation and seem- normal. compared to the others. He befriended Dinah again. And spends most of his time with greaseball and Electra now. ( I'm a big Electra/CB enjoyer... Also a big GB/CB enjoyer )

And he maybe took in a certain young oil tankerrrrr...

<⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

[icedteaandoldlace]

A couple years ago, my family and friends had a PowerPoint party where everyone put together a presentation and delivered it before the rest of the group. Mine was on Snowbarry and the fandom drama wrapped up in it, and though I initially wasn’t going to let it see the light of day on the Internet, because I didn’t want a bunch of angry shippers in my DMs, I’ve decided to go ahead and post it (‘cause tbh the worst luck I’ve had in this fandom has been with fellow Westallen shippers).

Quick disclaimer: I love all of these characters and their canon dynamics with each other, so I’m not bashing any of them here. I’m also not saying that anyone is wrong for liking the idea of Barry and Caitlin as a couple, or that shipping them inherently makes someone a bad person. But I am speaking critically about both the ship itself and a good chunk of its fandom (see: reading them for filth), and some of my points will be fact-based and some will be opinion-based. I myself do not ship Snowbarry, and that fact is made very obvious in this post, so bear that in mind if you wish to continue reading.

Also, the images are not sized to Tumblr’s dimensions, so I recommend clicking/tapping to see them more clearly.

As an additional side note, I made this presentation before the major Killer Frost retcon, so Frost is referenced as a part of Caitlin and not as a full-fledged individual separate from her. I’m also disregarding the last two seasons entirely because 8 was trash and I didn’t even bother with 9.

Now on to the presentation.

Just what is Snowbarry, you may ask? Snowbarry is the ship name for Caitlin Snow and Barry Allen, two characters from The Flash, usually shipped in opposition to Westallen (Barry Allen and Iris West), which is the main couple in Flash canon.

If you are not familiar with the characters on this show, take a moment to look at the chart above. Pretty self-explanatory. Got everyone’s names and relationship to each other? Good.

Moving on.

So right off the bat, let’s get into how this ship got its start. Barry Allen is, of course, a comic book character first, and it was already canon in the comics that the love of his life was Iris West, so naturally it followed that she would be the person he’d end up with in the TV adaptation. One noticeable difference between the Iris from the comics and the Iris from the TV show is that Iris in the comics was drawn as a white woman, and Iris in the TV show is played by Candice Patton, a black woman. This caused a big stir among Flash fans before the show even aired, because the TV version of Iris “isn’t comic accurate”.

Neither is Barry, a hunky blond man, now being portrayed by brown-haired beanpole, Grant Gustin, but that detail didn’t get nearly as much or nearly as dramatic of backlash. Most fans are very pleased with Grant’s portrayal of Barry, and some even think he should play him in the DC movie universe. But Candice’s casting was received with an inordinate amount of vitriol, with many fans going so far as to bombard Candice with death threats and other forms of harassment, and people began calling for Caitlin to be Barry’s main love interest since before the first episode even aired.

It’s worth mentioning that Caitlin wasn’t even a Flash character before the TV series; she’s a character from the Firestorm comics who was brought in for this adaptation specifically, so there was no basis to say that she would be a better fit for Barry when there was no preexisting relationship between them in the comics universe. (Comic accurate whom?)

So basically, Snowbarry as a romantic ship was born out of racism, if you didn’t pick up on that already. They became a popular ship, even among people who had liked Iris in the comics, and had their own ship name before anyone had even seen them share screen time. All because they didn’t want to see Barry in love with a black woman.

Now that you know how the ship originated, let’s take a look at some fan arguments for how it maintained its popularity after the show started airing. While there are some Snowbarry shippers out there who will state outright that they don’t like Iris because she’s black, most of them have the sense to not want to be thought of as racist, and have defenses for why they prefer Snowbarry to Westallen.

I have encountered a handful of Snowbarry shippers whose claims are genuine, and who even like Iris/Westallen, or even ship all three of them as a polycule. The majority of Snowbarry fans, though, dislike (if not outright hate) Iris, and claim that their reason for preferring Snowbarry is simply that it’s a better relationship, and/or that Caitlin is simply a better character.

A common argument in defense of this preference is that Barry has more chemistry with Caitlin than he has with Iris. I’ve often heard it said that chemistry is subjective, but it’s hard to believe that Barry and Caitlin have such great chemistry--or even that the people who say they do feel it with conviction--when the Snowbarry fandom relies so heavily on photoshop.

If Barry and Caitlin had such outstanding chemistry, it would show in their scenes together, and it would be easier to find un-manipulated images of them looking like a couple.

Furthermore, if Barry and Iris had such poor (or nonexistent) chemistry, slapping Caitlin’s image over Iris’s wouldn’t make it look like Barry was in love with her. If Barry and Iris were so lacking in chemistry, their scenes together would not be a desirable template to make Snowbarry manips out of.

As a bonus, here’s some shots of Caitlin with her main canon love interest, Ronnie. Ronnie is absent for the majority of season 1, and dead for the entire rest of the series, but he is hands-down the person Caitlin has the biggest case of heart-eyes for, as well as the person she has the most passionate kisses with.

On to the next pro-Snowbarry/anti-Westallen argument, which is that Barry and Iris’s relationship is incestuous. Because as is the age-old fandom philosophy, if you don’t have a good reason to take the moral high ground, make one up.

Do Barry and Iris share DNA? No. This alone makes their relationship non-incestuous, but even when you get into the particulars, their getting together is still...not weird or bad at all.

Did Barry and Iris grow up in the same house? Yes. Starting at age eleven. At which point they already knew each other as friends, and Barry had already developed a crush on her, and then had to deal with moving in with the girl he liked. Because he had no choice.

Are Barry and Iris legally siblings? Technically unconfirmed, but most likely no. Iris does refer to them as “kind of like brother and sister” in the pilot episode, but in the same sentence, she also says the words, “we’re not brother and sister”. And Joe has been referred to as Barry’s guardian, adoptive father, and (unless I’m mistaken) foster father, and Barry has also affectionately referred to him as simply his father, and called him “dad” once. Exactly what the legal terms of Joe’s custody of Barry in his childhood were is unclear, but it’s safe to say Barry isn’t his son in the full legal sense of the word, considering he still goes by his biological father’s name and he didn’t run into any legal issues in marrying Iris.

Regardless, it’s Barry’s relationship with Iris that should determine whether or not his getting with her romantically is weird, not his relationship with Joe. If seeing Joe as a father figure makes getting with his child incest, then you could argue that any combination of Team Flash getting together would be incest because Joe is practically everyone’s dad at this point.

There are scenarios in which a romantic relationship between two characters in a situation like Barry and Iris’s would be weird and uncomfy, and come off as practically incest even though it wouldn’t be in a literal sense. Adoptive siblings do count as ~real~ siblings, and a romantic relationship between two unrelated individuals who grew up under the same roof can absolutely have some of the same negative ramifications that such a relationship between blood siblings could have. But Barry and Iris simply do not have the kind of sibling-like relationship dynamic that would cause those kinds of issues, so that plus the fact that there’s no biological relation between them makes the incest argument, frankly, stupid.

Sure, everyone has their own comfort level on matters like this; the most believable/relatable sibling relationship on this show is between two characters with no biological or legal ties to each other, and who met in their twenties (more on them later), and it makes me viscerally uncomfortable to see people ship them as a couple because they’re too much like brother and sister. But I consider myself an expert on siblings--I have six of them myself--and that’s not what Barry and Iris are.

Perhaps the most common claim among Westallen antis is that Iris is a bad person, or at least a bad girlfriend, or maybe even straight up abusive. These claims are...incorrect, and once again we delve into outright making stuff up, when simply blowing small matters out of proportion doesn’t do the trick. No one is perfect, and Iris is no exception. That doesn’t make her a terrible person.

As a person, Iris is brave, caring, ambitious, stubborn, loyal, charismatic, honest, assertive, forgiving, jealous, selfless, and protective, among other things. As Barry’s partner, she is very gentle and supportive, and she is often the only person who can get through to him when he’s either being too hard on himself, or being too single-minded and needs someone to talk some sense into him. They don’t fight often, but when they do, their issues are usually resolved fairly quickly with open and civil communication. Iris shares the responsibility of protecting the city with Barry, despite not having any powers of her own, in addition to finding ways to help people outside of official Flash business. She has her faults, but overall she’s a pretty good and well-rounded person.

The one negative claim against her in this matter to have some degree of credibility is that the individual fan simply finds her annoying. Annoying is a subjective term, so I can’t really argue that someone is wrong for being annoyed by someone I find to be very lovable. There have been moments where I was annoyed with Iris, and I think that Iris is the bee’s knees. There have also been moments where I was annoyed with Caitlin. And with Barry. And even Cisco (and I’ll fight anyone who dares call Cisco annoying).

What this argument against Iris basically boils down to is nitpicking over her being human and thus flawed. Well-written characters should be wrong now and then, and even the most lovable person can be annoying on occasion. But when it comes to Iris, first of all, a lot of the criticism for her is non-factual, and often wildly so. But also, even when it comes to valid critiques of her, there’s a tendency to focus on the negative when her positive traits far outweigh them--yet when the same or even worse negative traits are present in another character, they’re often excused or overlooked.

I’m not going to pretend that Iris stans aren’t guilty of doing the same with other characters out of bias for their fave, too (and boy do they), but by and large, Iris is the one who is disproportionately judged unfairly and subjected to double standards by the fandom.

If you’re just a fandom puritan hellbent on liking only the most unproblematic of characters, then technically Caitlin should be the one getting more flack since she has the longer rap sheet between the two, and Iris has one of the strongest moral compasses on the show.

As for personal preference? Of course, it’s totally possible that someone “just thinks she’s annoying”--but the tendency of black characters (or any non-white character for that matter), women, and especially black women being labeled “annoying” regardless of personality is a little too common to be taken at face value, so I’m automatically suspicious of anyone who calls her annoying, and bases their whole opinion of her on that, instead of recognizing her merits (because if you haven’t guessed, it’s not very plausible that that many people genuinely find her annoying as a person with no underlying prejudices at play).

Now, there are some people who started shipping Snowbarry during season 1 (y’know, after actually seeing the characters in action), because there was actually some groundwork laid for it. Not much, but it’s not nonexistent. Barry had a few love interests before ultimately getting with Iris, and a fleeting romance with Caitlin was also considered, before Grant vetoed that idea in favor of prioritizing what he felt was the more interesting and satisfying relationship, i.e. Westallen.

There were a few hinting comparisons drawn between Barry and Ronnie in early episodes, and a few platonic-but-in-a-heteronormative-way interactions between Barry and Caitlin. One episode in particular more overtly teased the idea of a possible attraction between them that they were too hung up on other people to recognize, but nothing ever came of it (partly because that episode also served to introduce one of Barry’s temporary love interests, Linda). And even the more shippable moments in it came across as mostly one-sided, and more as Caitlin trying to get over Ronnie than as being truly interested in Barry (spoiler alert: it didn’t work).

There have also been moments of light fanservice with no depth, such as the two kisses pictured above, which are two moments that the Snowbarry fandom treasures, and points to as validation of their ship.

The first is of someone who is not Barry, Caitlin just thinks he is in the moment. It is actually Hannibal Bates (aka Everyman), a shapeshifter who is causing trouble around town by committing crimes while impersonating innocent people. He kisses Caitlin to distract her while she’s trying to work on something to negate his powers, and Caitlin is confused and weirded out by his advances. And while one could argue that she started to seem a little into her second kiss with him, if she was, it didn’t last. Regardless, she was clearly not feeling the first one, she was relieved when she learned that it hadn’t really been Barry putting the moves on her, and she got uncomfortable and jumpy later when, for a split second, she thought the real Barry was going to try to kiss her again (so romanticizing that situation isn’t concerning at all).

For the second pictured kiss, Caitlin was in the middle of a mental breakdown/being taken over by someone whose actions she was strongly opposed to when she was stable and in control, and she kissed Barry not because of any feelings she might have toward him, but with the intention of freezing him to death with her ice powers--yup, she was actively trying to kill him with that kiss.

So to review, there are two Snowbarry kissing scenes in canon, and both of them are:

nonconsensual

not done with romantic intent

not really between Barry and Caitlin

Moving on from the Snowbarry fandom’s perspectives, now it’s time to address the elephant in the room that no Snowbarry stan ever wants to address, and that is the matter of the dynamic of O.G. Team Flash.

As indicated at the beginning of this post, Barry, Caitlin, and Cisco are a best friends trio. This kind of friend group is a common occurrence in both fiction and real life, and in the case of fiction at least, it’s common for there to be a favorite friend (which is almost always the main character).

In the case of the two other trios pictured above, for example, Gordo and Miranda have their own friendship independent of their respective relationships with Lizzie, and Shawn and Topanga similarly have their own friendship independent of their relationships with Cory--but in both cases, each friend has a closer relationship with the protagonist (Lizzie and Cory) than they have with each other.

O.G. Team Flash also has one character who is closer with the other two than they are with each other, and is therefore the favorite friend. And in this case, that friend

is Cisco. By a landslide, it is Cisco. It’s obvious in the show-don’t-tell sense that he is the friend they each have the closer bond with, whom they are both more likely to turn to for comfort or advice, and whom they would rather hang out one-on-one with, given the choice between him or each other. But it’s also implied in the way they talk about each other.

Cisco has referred to Barry and Caitlin both as his best friend, independently of each other, and it’s a tough call to say whether he’s closer with one or the other.

Barry has referred to Cisco as his best friend (singular) multiple times, with no mention of Caitlin, but in the times he referred to Caitlin as one of his best friends (plural), he did so in a way that was inclusive of Cisco. He has never called just Caitlin his best friend the way he has with Cisco (or with Iris, before they started dating).

Caitlin as far as I can recall has never used that term in regards to her friendship with either guy, but it’s obvious who she’s closer with. For that matter, Cisco is easily the most consistent and most important person in her life, whether she is aware of that fact or not. (At this point in the original presentation, my mom interjected to ask why Cisco and Caitlin weren’t the big fandom ship then, and I explained that they act like siblings and canonically think of each other as such, so most of the fandom doesn’t ship them romantically because That’s Weird, and their canon platonic relationship is something that most everyone values as is.)

I mean, heck, in The Icicle Cometh--an episode widely regarded as a ~Snowbarry episode~ because of the amount of scenes Barry and Caitlin get together in it--Barry all but says outright, “Cisco cares about you more than I do.” (pictured above)

Seriously, what does that line even mean if it’s not an acknowledgement that he does?

Of course, many Snowbarry shippers don’t like the fact that Cisco is the favorite friend because it blows holes in their ship, so they rationalize that closeness by likening Barry and Caitlin to his parents, which is all kinds of wrong and gross and just, no.

Considered but not included for this slide (because it would be hard to fit and would’ve required providing context for a room of people who don’t watch the show) was a screencap of Barry asking Frost, aka Caitlin’s other side, “How do you convince your best friend not to save your life?” while referring specifically to Cisco, just to further emphasize my point.

And speaking of Barry and Cisco,

I could do a whole PowerPoint presentation dedicated to why they would be better and more sense as a couple than Barry and Caitlin!

(And for the next PowerPoint party I kind of did, plus I’ve made a few other posts related to this subject.)

It just doesn’t make sense to me to make such a big fuss over two people who are clearly each other’s second-favorite friend. Personally, I’d be a little embarrassed to be shouting from the rooftops about how much better Snowbarry is than Westallen, and how Caitlin is the person Barry really loves and should end up with, when they don’t even like each other as much as they like Cisco.

And for my final slide, here’s some screenshots of Snowbarry fans being awful and unhinged + my commentary on them.

It’s not that Snowbarry is an inherently bad ship or entirely baseless--no more so than many of the other fanon ships for this show--but the fact that it’s as mainstream as it is when it has such little canon support and such weak arguments in favor of it reeks of racism, with a dash of hetero-/amatonormativity. The most sincere and non-toxic Snowbarry shippers I’ve seen around tend to be multishippers and/or rare-pair fans, which is where I see Snowbarry as a romantic ship making the most sense. But for such a large number of people to be adamant that the show should change its trajectory to make Caitlin the love of Barry’s life instead of Iris? That’s just bullshit.

[writtenonreceipts]

Hi fren 💚

If one wanted to start their trip through the Brandon Sanderson universe, what book(s) do you recommend first? Where should I start?

Hey friend!!

Oh my lands!! I love this question, haha, mostly because I love talking about books I love. I'll try and be brief. Here is another post with more thoughts.

I would recommend starting in one of two (potentially three) places.

The book that every one says to start with: Mistborn is what he is most known for and what he credits to really jumpstarting his career. The elevator pitch is What if the hero lost? And explores a world where that happened. I think it's a great intro to that epic fantasy with broad worlds and magic while still remaining engaging and interesting. I really do love the magic system in this book and the characters are all in-depth with flaws and that's what really brings me back to my re-reads. There's morally gray characters, questions of theology, mental health, murder children. It's is the biggest influencer of the Cosmere, but you won't be able to tell.

The book I low-key tell everyone to start with: Warbreaker is an utter delight. I don't feel like the fandom talks about it enough, tbh. I really felt like that big epic sweep of fantasy was hidden well within the story telling and plot movement and it didn't feel like you were reading a hunky chunk book. It felt like a really great transition from YA to Adult and I loved the magic system. I loved the characters and their relationships. I loved the way political intrigue. The twists and turns of this book were phenomenal. I just loved it. Also the audio book is great. It is low-key connected to the Cosmere/Sanders-verse as a whole, unless you know what to look for you don't even notice it's part of the "multiverse" as a whole. Propaganda post, I don't think it has spoilers.

The Rithmatist--is an odd book, haha. But it is fun and different and really help sets up Sanderson stories for a new reader. It does take some time to get into which is why it is a little lower on the rec list.

Oh. I lied, one more rec: If you want more YA and sci-fi--The Skyward series is awesome. It is actually a YA series with ya aged characters etc etc. I have only read the first book, but it was so great. And I don't usually like sci-fi.

ill stop now...

[mariatesstruther]

That's because Maria is filmed as an antagonist. In the game she isn't but in the show she's set up to be direct opposition.

In the game you show up in a gun fight, kick ass, gain her admiration and everything goes smoothly.

In the show you show up, she threatens Joel and Ellie with death, has a reputation for killing people and leaving their bodies out to rot, takes their weapons from them, mean mugs Joel, is implied to be the reason Tommy stopped talking to Joel panicking his only living relative, and directly makes implications to Ellie that Joel is a bad person out to cause her direct harm.

She's set up to look like a bad guy deliberately trying to drive a wedge between Joel and his loved ones. Tommy COULD have talked to Joel but Maria says they don't use the radio for outsiders. Tommy COULD help Joel but Maria wouldn't want him leaving etc etc.

I don't know why they filmed it that way, especially compared to the game, but she's set up to look like the bad guy compared to Joel, the one they can pin 'well I would but I can't' Tommy on.

i do think this is a fair assessment anon—besides a few things:

“threatens joel and ellie with death” - the entirety of that jackson patrol was testing joel/ellie to see if they were infected or otherwise a threat to their community. i highly doubt they wouldve just straight up deaded them for no reason 😭

“has a reputation for killing people and leaving their bodies out to rot” - tommy literally explained in the show that they only do that to people that try them aka likely caused trouble for jackson or whatever patrol group. again, they make it clear that maria and the people of jackson aren’t killing people for no reason

“takes their weapons from them” THIS IS A SAFETY THING THAT THTEY DO FOR ALL STRANGERS COMING IN AND IT IN INCREDIBLY REASONABLEEE. sorry for going all caps but like im so tired of hearing this 😭😭😭 they got all their weapons back except for one rifle like 30 mins later

“mean mugs joel” im not even gonna touch that tbh. god forbid a woman glares 😭😭😭 joel will be fine yall i promise he could take it

“is implied to be the reason tommy stopped talking to joel” you know what? fair. i do think joel line about “your wife wont let you” implied that. from what tommy responds with, we know its a jackson-wide rule, but tbh i find it hard to believe maria was just hunky-dory with tommy talking to joel. i hope this is expanded upon in s2 tho because i think joel/fandom placing the blame on maria completely is JUST as ridiculous as maria blaming joel for tommy being a raider

we’ve talked about how i think maria telling ellie to watch her back with a 60+ year old strong man that she isnt related to and is clearly closely attached to her is completely 100% justified and reasonable so im just not gonna rehash it here, but tdlr: from maria’s perspective, she has EVERY reason to warn this 12 year old girl to be careful

also just going back to the “has a reputation for killing people” thing: are we forgetting that JOEL AND TESS BOTH LITERALLY HAVE A REPUTATION FOR FUCKING PEOPLE UP AND/OR KILLING THEM?????? JOEL WAS LITERALLY A RAIDER OR WHATEVER THAT FUCK KILLING BITCHES FOR CANS OF BEANS PROBABLY

the conflicting way they characterize her is one reason im kinda annoyed/confused at the writer’s intentions for maria bc on one hand they seem to set her up as an antagonist (in her tone/stance towards joel, our main character) but also make her preggo with tommy’s baby AND prove her right in the end???? like what she says about the people we trust most betraying us COMES TRUE for ellie by the end. i hope in s2 they have a longer conversation and rutina wesley gets a chance to show a fleshed out performance of maria, whether she ends up as an antag or protagonist. im rootin for her either way tbh

[neko-nemesis]

Diluc this, huffman that EXCUSE YOU- Where tf is your appreciation for literal Dilf Wagner ??? I mean hunny??

A workaholic blacksmith? Hunky af? Strong? Actually had some meat? (sorry itto they did you dirty why mihoyo give you sticks for arms I dunno) the actual fucking zaddy in this damn game?!?!? Hellooo?!?!

Ps: my brain if full of rot and I finally plucked up the courage to send asks lmao excuse all the useless ones i prolly sent

THANK you for the ask love @brokeartskid and GOSH I'm so SORRRRRY for the late response, shit for me is going a lil rough this new year but ANYWAYS 😋OKAY OKAY listen. HEAR ME OUT!! I got alot to say about this man. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I HEAR YOU AND I GET YOU. I JUST DIDNT THINK THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO THINKS THE SAME WAY DDHDHDHDJ and goodness please, feel free about the asks, you made my day with this incredible one <3 don't hesitate to drown me with your brainrots CAUSE UGH SAME DAMNITNSHDJS I finally know there's other fucking people drooling over this buff ass Wagner.

Side note for itto, istg he looks like Zeke's titan/ the beast titan from aot ☠️ I'm sorry mihoyo played my guy wrong

Istg, I saw a TikTok of him way before I started the game and man got me raising my brow in interest. And when I did join the game, when I would have some spare time, I'd just stand there near the blacksmith and watch him HAHHSJDUDHDJ. I got some headcanons of my own for this beef cake (lmao I'm sorry) ;)

Okay, No one. NO ONE can convince me this mf isn't pent up as shit. I doubt he ever took some time off from working so hard all the time and you know, let his mind wonder. So really, imagine being that one little pretty thing that caught his eye. >:)

He's ofcourse not one to have time for idle chatter (diluc much?), Imagine that sexy buff man for once in his life getting distracted during work whenever you were around the streets. Oh I'm sure it will be soooooo frustrating for the man </3 what's more enticing annoying for Wagner is that you know what you're doing.

So imagine one fine evening, he just had enough. He's not used to having distraction nor a need for something or should I say someone ? Ofcourse it's none other than you ♡ even more so, after seeing you flirt away with his apprentice, Schulz??? Well let's hope he doesn't break the weapon he's forging with his bare hands. (Screaming cause like just think for a secondsjdj) bestie you're getting your guts rearranged tbh.

So I say, don't be so surprised if you happen to be walking by but suddenly get dragged out of no where but then see it's none other than Wagner himself, literally fuming. (Gosh do  I love hot men when they're angry.)

So just imagine, Dilf Wagner having enough with your shit and bending you over, arching your back until it aches a bit from the stretch but I'm sure you don't mind <3 the fucking man you've been wanting for so long, is about to pound you to oblivion buttt not yet.

The last thing you'd expect is him ripping down your pants/dress, the bottom half atleast. But before you could protest about the cold or your torn up clothing, his calloused hand spanking your bare bottom, hard. Gosh those hands. I can't bear to imagine the absolute bliss as well as sparks of pain you could feel through the impacts from his hands. My masochist ass can only dream~

And his voice? Cross my heart and I hope to die, it makes me all giddy. Imagine that same voice sounding all husky and drunk heavy in lust,

"You've been waiting for this, aren't you?"

"Don't tell me you're getting off to this like a whore."

OH and please tell me you remember his line from the dragon storm or whatever quest, he really goes

"What? Speak up. I can't hear you."

Imagine him mocking you like that when all you can do is whimper.

FUCK this, I can't write everything I think of here. I'll literally write a fic today about this mf 🏃‍♀️💨 lmk if you wanna get tagged ;))

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[destinyc1020]

Actually A lot of tomdaya shippers (originally T fans) stopped shipping them because they don’t want to interact with Z fans anymore. They are incredibly toxic. For a good year they would go to T fan accounts and blogs just to rub Z and JE relationship and how she finally found someone as “deep” and intellectual like her and of course the height jokes and how “good looking” they look together, it was a lot. That’s why some of them are quite about TZ now they don’t want to interact with Z fans

Ohhhhhh the great fandom debate... Here we go again..... 😔

Look, I'll just be honest..... I think that both Tom and Z have great fans and toxic fans. There are various types of fans in each fandom. No fandom is immune to toxic fans.

I feel like SOME of Z's stans felt personally betrayed on Z's behalf when Tom was spotted out with some blonde woman out of the blue. 👀 Yet another reason (reason # 565) why I kind of wish that Tomdaya had either allowed the gp to kind of know that they were a confirmed couple, without resorting to letting the fandom and the gp play "connect the dots". 🤦🏾‍♀️ Also, maybe a brief, bland, vague, "breakup announcement" would have prob saved them (esp Tom) a lot of crazy fan theories, "cheating rumors" drama, and ppl wouldn't have felt "betrayed" that he's with another woman since they would have already known that he and Z had already broken up by that point.

But, that's neither here nor there. 🙄

Those fans shouldn't have been making fun of Tom's height, or rubbing Jacdaya in Tomdaya fans faces. That's so immature imo. 🙄 I actually kind of wonder if those fans were more so Zeuphoria fans (fans of Zendaya through Ephoria) vs Zendaya's "old school" fans who have followed her since "Shake it Up".

I could be wrong, but sort of feel like some of those Z stans were newer fans, cuz those of us who have known of Z since Disney weren't really all that impressed with Jacob. 👀 At least, I wasn't. At first I thought it was cute that she wasn't sitting around at home all depressed after her breakup w/Tom, and I liked that she was having her post-breakup "hot girl summer" with a "hunky" Australian co-star..... But AS SOON as I heard the Joey tea on him????

I was like.....

Our girl can do BETTER!

And then I just started noticing more and more red flags with him as time went on. But I never stayed perched on Jacdaya blogs sending hate in, or made up nasty stuff about Jacdaya, or bullied Jacdaya blogs or any of that foolish nonsense! 🙄 I just respected her rlshp with JE, but hoped that one day she would see the light, coz the red flags on that man were a mile long.

Look......I'm just gonna be really REAL HERE: (*Warning ⚠️ Unpopular Opinion Coming Through*)........ I honestly just think that a lot of Z stans saw how some (notice I said SOME!) of Tom's stans treated Zendaya for years, and basically tried to ignore her, acted like she didn't exist in Tom's life, made thinly-veiled racist comments, or tried to pretend like they couldn't see that boy was crazy about Z, and almost worshiped the ground she walked on (denial, denial, denial), and I think Z stans just got sick and tired of it. 😒

I don't even think some of them really liked JE all that much....(did they even really know him lol? 😂) I just think some were just relieved that Z wouldn't have to deal with Tom's fangirls/fandom anymore honestly. 👀 🤷🏾‍♀️ So the whole backlash against Tom (or his stans) was in part due to that I feel. This is just what I personally observed.

And of course, there were some light-weight shippers who were just being superficial and just thought that aesthetically-speaking, Z and JE just looked nice together because they're both tall. Some weren't really following the ship all that closely or his history all that closely tbh. So they didn't know most of the stuff we knew about him. And the ones who DID, tried to paint it as "Tomdaya fans are spreading false rumors about JE to make him look bad because he's NOT Tom Holland" 🙄, when in reality, that "tea" was actually from Joey and Cari fans.... 👀 Some Jacdaya fans just chose to ignore it because they just wanted to see Z with someone OTHER than Tom (ABT's), and didn't even care about the dude's personality or reputation! 🥴

That's why I really question if some of these fans were REALLY hard-core, discerning fans of Z? Or are they more so just HUGE fans of Euphoria/Rules/Rue, etc, and just liked that Z was dating someone else in the Ephoria clique?

Also,did it ever occur to anyone that MAYBE (just maybe!) some of those "Z Stans" who were rubbing Jacdaya in Tomdaya faces were really just ANTIS and trolls who just happened to also be fans of Z? Those exist too you know. Idk,it's just a thought. Anyone who's THAT pressed to be rubbing stuff in Tomdaya fan faces seem more like ANTIS, and not real genuine fans of Z imo. Cuz why celebrate the fact that she's now dating a dude who's cheated on his last couple of gfs? 😒

And then on the other end of the spectrum we also have some of Tom's fans and also Tomdaya fans who were hurt and felt betrayed when Z and JE were spotted kissing out in NYC, and I think many fans felt sad on Tom's behalf because Z was always super private with him, but was more "relaxing" of her standards when dating JE 🥴 Then there were the Jacdaya/Z stans making fun of Tom's height during that time period, and just being really rude about an already AWKWARD situation for them... If you as a fan/shipper felt hurt, well, how do you think Tom (who actually dated her) felt? 😢

Anyway.....

With all of that said....

I still feel like all of this debating back and forth over which fandom did the other wrong is just an argument based on futility. 😖

Where does it really take us? What does it really solve? I've been saying this since last year here on my blog that Tom and Z are gonna do whatever the heck they want with each other, regardless of what fans think, feel, or want lol.

If they have forgiven each other and have made up, can't the fans do the same?? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Most of the anger seems to be more so directed towards the fandoms and not even towards Tom or Z personally themselves.

TZ can't help who their fans are anymore than you can help who your parents are. It's silly to be mad at a celebrity over their stans. You can't force ppl to like you, anymore than you can force ppl to NOT like you or be a fan of yours. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Most of the stuff that fans are upset at are things that happened over a YEAR ago! 🥴

Isn't it time to move on? 👀

Imo it's time to HEAL, and move on y'all.

I think it's long-since time that BOTH fandoms just grow up and wipe the slate clean, and from now on vow to just be a decent fan (instead of a toxic one) from here on out? 👀

[la-li-lu-le-lol]

okay would you be willing to rank the sneaking suits?

Yes, I would, a lot. This is gonna be image-heavy and will go under a cut because I want to at least try to appear dignified and normal on the surface.

In order of most to least favorite.

1. MGS2

This suit, yall. this fuckin suit. Jesus christ. I feel like it's meant to look good more than it's meant to be functional, and BOY HOWDY DOES IT DO A GOOD JOB OF LOOKING GOOD. I think we all know Kojima thinks tactical gear is hot, and that's all kind of here. But like, it doesn't look *trashy*. I'm into ladies too and tbh I don't really mind the whole bikini armor thing, but I will admit that bikini armor is annoying because it’s usually trashy-looking. It is much, much more attractive when someone's gear is sexy while still being tastefully subtle about it and thats what THIS is, on a man instead of a woman too, which gets it rarity bonus points.

Like. For real. and it just looks so GOOD on him too, you know? Combined with the long hair and bandana... /chin-hands/ perfect character design. hottest thing ever. eternal fangirl until I die.

(using a pic of this figma because it’s detailed in a way mgs2 isn’t) You know. It just kinda leads your eye around. There's a way in which his vest slopes down his back with the location of the drawstrings that makes it look like a corset. There's a way in which the straps on his legs extend downward from his vest that makes it look like garters. Like it's all there, and I'm 95.8276 percent sure it was deliberate.

If I can pull my head out of the gutter for a second. I also really like how this suit is kinda ambiguous blue-teal-grey colored. Mgs2 does an interesting thing with the lighting where the color of this suit kinda changes depending on the temperature of the lighting that is hitting it, whether it contains more cool or warm colors, the suit kinda shifts with it. I really like that detail because it feels tactically sound, like a precursor to the octocamo.

Anyway.

2. PO/PW/GZ

Woof woof bark bark. Sometimes I wish that the mgs2 suit was a lot darker in color because I think dark colors are sexy, and this suit takes care of all that for me while still having a bunch of tasty eye-leading design that differentiates it from everything else. The splash of color on the gold bands and green harness is a great touch and almost gives this a sort of "wetsuit" vibe? I also really like the drawstrings on the sides of the arms and legs. This design is super good. Big Boss more like Big Sigh while my eyes turn into hearts.

3. MGS1

The suit that started it all. This one definitely leans a lot more towards the "functional" rather than "sexy" side of the scale in part because of the elbow-knee pads and the thermal vest. TBH for a bit I didn't like this suit a whole lot because I always thought it fit him weird, mostly because the model in Twin Snakes was my only non-polygon reference for it and it just wasn't that good, imo. But then I saw this render...

and this figurine:

my opinion changed and now I love it, it's so COOL LOOKING. All it needs is a bit of a more modern render in order for you to fully appreciate it, imo!!

I think this suit is the most badass out of the bunch, kind of the most "I mean serious business" out of the bunch, and naturally, that = sexy. I think also that Snake having short hair with a bulkier suit is a great character design contrast, similiar to how in mgs2 he grew out his hair longer which contrasted with the sleeker mgs2 suit. Shinkawa knows what’s good.

4. MGS4

Old Snake's suit, oh, Old Snake's suit. MGS4 was the game where people really started noticing and talking about how much emphasis was placed on his ass, which looks fucking fantastic for his age might I add. Besides that, this suit design was always super interesting to me because of how it feels like an All-In-One sort of thing, and how its lines and such kind of mimic muscles and sinew.

(courtesy of our favorite mgs4 documentarian @youlltrytobreakmetoo) It seems like a very carefully-constructed suit with a ton of thought and effort put into its design. It is not as much to my personal taste like more traditional-looking gear is, but it's still very cool looking! The load-bearing vest up top isn't my favorite thing either but I appreciate it design-wise as a contrast in the silhouette. I also love the octo-camo. It's such a neat idea, and all the patterns look great. I particularly like the black Metals one and the really dark navy blue one.

5. MGSV

Venom Snake is a straight up hunky beefcake who will look great in anything you put on him. Absolute legend. I do personally prefer him in his usual outfit but he also looks real good in the sneaking suits. While the GZ suit is an option here, This entry is more about the black and grey sneaking suit that is an option in TPP, which I thiiiink is meant to be a rehash of the mgs1 suit?

(Oh god, that image is smaller than I thought, sorry for the blurriness.) I think it looks good on him but it, in my opinion, needs more color and distinguishing design features. It needs to be a little more design-y and a little less functional. But it doesn’t have anything that I hard dislike on it so it’s still not last.

6. MGS3 black sneaking suit

Unpopular opinion? maybe.

Not saying this doesn't look cool on Naked Snake. It does. It does!!!! But I really don't like the puffiness on the sleeves and legs. I know they were going for an astronaut vibe, but that just doesn’t tick any boxes for me. I think that the design also just feels a little out of place in mgs3 in general, I'm so used to Snake wearing his fatigues that him wearing anything else is just weird. The orange is a cool pop of color though, so it gets some style points. But lose the weird puffs pls, and lose the grey. Put this boy back in his fatigue suspenders, please, or stick him in the PW suit.

HONORABLE "WTF" MENTION: PW suit with the dick suspenders and these... grenade pattern... thigh high boots?! holy shit.

OKAY WHEW THAT TOOK ME FOREVER AND i HOPE SOMEONE BESIDES ME LIKES MY DUMB THOUGHT DUMPS. LOVE YALL, I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP NOW LMAO.

[dire-vulture]

omg picking my guardian dilf was incredibly easy but

despite having lots of middle-aged tundras, i actually had a really hard time deciding who was my pick for tundra dilf dfadsf so let’s go through the candidates....

Tarragon - Yeah. doing it in lair order and we gotta start here dfdsaf. Well.... Tarragon is in his 40s, is an actual dad with three kids, and Moraine at least would definitely say he’s sexy.............. but he’s also definitely a twink, and a question that I’d have to answer here a bit is..can twinks be dilfs?? i don’t know if i can answer that. i don’t like putting firm restrictions with labels and while dilf suggests more masculinity than the average twink would have, there’s no real reason for those labels to be mutually exclusive..but. calling tarragon a dilf feels like committing a felony and i’m just not ready for that.

Paragon - In his 40s, and unlike Tarragon, Paragon is very well-built, buff but gotten a bit chubby as he’s aged, so he gets the dad-bod bonus. He’s not a dad, but he is an uncle, and he has an almost mentor-like relationship with one of his nieces so that’s..close? I think he might just barely qualify despite not having much dad-like energy.

Sugarpaws - In his mid-30s..I generally would say dilfs start at 40+, but some would argue that 35 is just old enough so I’ll throw him in. But..he has no interest in having, raising, or just ever being around kids and is basically a gay city twink on a country retreat..he is not dilf whatsoever.

Psoron - Psoron was the one I picked to be my (trans) dilf tundra rep for the bingo card! honestly his being somewhere on the nb spectrum helped me decide to pick him so I could get the trans bonus afasdf. Anyway, he’s in his mid-60s, which is probably a bit older than people would usually say, but I think it’s fine. A bit androgynous, nerdy, romantic, and hunky! Not the most traditional dad-like qualities but I say he works it. One of his bfs is Tamarind (dilf4dilf!) which would make Psoron basically stepdad to Tam’s kids, so he can qualify for the actual dad part! Honestly I need to flesh out his relationship with the kids more but they’re definitely on good terms. All in all a good wind-dad, and definitive dilf in my mind c:

Brightsoul - Brightsoul! When making the bingo post he was absolutely Psoron’s biggest competition tbh. A big and burly tundra in his mid-50s, and a foofy and lovable math teacher. So even though he doesn’t have kids of his own, he does work with kids a lot and is good with them. But..teacher energy and dad energy aren’t quite the same. Having stepkids really gave Psoron the boost over Brightie haha...

Brondelle - 40, so they just meet my age requirement. A definitive bear tundra too, so they get the dadbod bonus. But, honestly I didn’t really consider them at all omg. They don’t feel like a dad whatsoever. They care far more about mushrooms than children haha,, and with their bfs the three of them together I tend to see as more youthful even if Brondelle is approaching middle-aged sooner than the other two. Probably doesn’t help either that they have their mom and younger siblings in the lair haha. doomed to be a big child forever fsadfs

Mykytyn - Probably a bit redundant with Brondelle but at 38 years old, he probably is worth mentioning. Actually, I want to say he feels closer to being a dilf than Brondelle does, if only because he seems more established in a career with his life sorted out, compared to his partners Brondelle and Kayleigh who have been ambling in their life a lot more. I don’t think Mykytyn is especially interested in having kids, but he does get along well with Brondelle’s 18 year old brother! Also I don’t think I’ll bother reviewing Kayleigh separately. He’s 35 and definitely has the most youthful energy of the triad fasdf

Brigitta - Just in the abstract with their snapper-y design I feel like that gets points but. sdfsdaf they’re a birthday dragon and i consider my birthday dragons like..halfsonas so. im not ranking myself a dilf even if this guy technically meets the 35+ requirement adsfasdfds

Ahavah - I actually really wanted to pick Ahavah for the dilf role but. he’s only 22 adsfasd he has like. such older man energy honestly?? just a sleepy looking boat captain that sounds perfect haha but no..he is way too young to be a dilf. come back in 15 years dude.

Glacier - 51 years old, spirited and adventurous motorcycle dude. Definite dad bod, and even though he’s not a literal dad, he does have a 22 year old kid he’s taken under his wing, in addition to being an uncle* to his second cousin Moraine’s kids. I feel like he qualifies in spades! Heavily considered him as my pick for dilf in the bingo post, but it just didn’t feel quite right for whatever reason. Just way more of a cool uncle than a dad I suppose haha. *he’s actually a second cousin once removed to Moraine’s kids but for everyone’s sanity they just say uncle sdafsd. why is english like this.

Pavo - Honestly I considered them! I just don’t know enough about them yet tbh. i feel like they have really the vibes though! dilf peacock...

Bryony - Another one I considered, but probably too old haha. 85..grandilf.......... just a guy who loves bugs and i love them. they’re a dilf in my heart.

Willehad - my bear tundra. would definitely be a contender but i also don’t know enough about him yet. some day......

anyway sdfdsaf if you read any of this thanks. just. no time like the present to explore dilf tundras!! sadfasdf . i spent way too long on this to not hit publish so here we go

[imaginewithmgk]

you know we’re meant to be

prompt; you know we’re meant to be

summary: colson confesses his love for y/n and it doesn’t go as planned

word count: 1,827

warnings: swearing

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Y/N,” Colson says as he drags my name out and stretches his large body over mine. I was lying comfortably on the couch until he sat down and decided to use me as his personal human pillow.  “What do you want?”  “I’m bored,” He groans.   “Wanna help me get ready for my date tonight?”  “You’ve got a date?” He sits up properly. “Yes? He’s really nice and so hot oh my god,” I put my hand on my forehead and pretend to faint. He smiles weakly. “Where’s he taking you?” “I think we’re going out to dinner at that nice Italian restaurant in the city and then we might do something after that, I’m not really sure.” “Noo! I wanted to take you to that restaurant.” Colson whines.  “I know but sometimes I need to put my sex life over my best friend hun. A girl wants a girl wants.” “You could just incorporate your best friend into your sex life,” He winks. I slap him on the chest and chuckle at his stupid comment. “Shut up,” I laugh. “Help me choose what to wear?”  “I guess,” He follows me into my bedroom. I lay out two dresses on my bed, jeans paired with a nice shirt and multiple accessories.  “So I was thinking this dress,” I hold it up to show him as he sits on my desk chair. It’s a short cream coloured that fits snug, showing off my curves and has a deep v-neck. “This dress,” I hold up a deep red coloured dress that ends below my knees, it is also tight and has a v-neck but the straps are lace.  “Or this shirt paired with my white jeans,” I hold up a light rose gold button-up shirt that is a satin material.  “I think I’d have to see them on to properly judge,” He smirks. I shake my head but agree.  “Turn around,” I giggle.  “I’ve known you since we were born Y/N,” He rolls his eyes.  “Still,” I pout. He huffs and puts his hands over his eyes and turns around. I quickly take my shirt and pants off before finding a suitable bra and putting the first dress on. “Okay, ready.” He opens his eyes. “Holy fucking shit,” Colson breathes out. “You look stunning Y/N,”  “Thanks love,” I laugh. “I don’t think this is really the one though like he doesn’t seem like the sort of guy who would appreciat-” “I can't take it.” Colson blurted out. “Can't take what?” I ask after a few seconds of silence. “I love you.” “I love you too silly!” I giggle. “No. I love you,” He puts his head in his hands. “More than friends,” I stand there taken back, I never expected this from Colson. “You love me,” I repeat his words, mostly because I can't seem to comprehend what he said or maybe to make sure that's what he really said.  “I love you. And not in a friendly way," He pauses. "Although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way," He pauses again. "Although I'm sure that's what you'll call it." I don't know what to say, I just look at him with an undoubtedly dishevelled appearance.  "I love you. Very, very simple. Very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person." He tells me, to which I still stay silent.  "A-and I know you think of me as just your best friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But," He exhales. "I had to say it. I just- I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you, not like we normally do but in a romantic way where we can’t stand not holding each other. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are." He exhales again. "And I know this will probably ruin our friendship but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I like who I am because of it." Silence.  "And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. That kills me actually. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome," He looks up to meet my eyes.  "Which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that but I know, I know! Some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not suppress that, at least for ten seconds try to dwell in it before you dismiss it." He puts his hand up to his forehead and rubs his temples.  "Y/N… there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. You can't deny that." He points his finger at me and stares into my eyes.  "And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me.” He finishes his speech and both of us just stand in silence, staring at each other.  “No comment?” He chuckles, only Colson would joke in a time like this. “Here's my comment… fuck you.” I furrow my eyebrows at him. “Why!?” “That was so unfair. You know how unfair that was!” I yell. “It's unfair that I'm in love with you?” “No, it's unfortunate that you're in love with me. It's unfair that you felt the fucking need to unburden your soul about it. Do you remember for a fucking second who I am to you? Who we are to each other!?” “So? People change. You know we’re meant to be,” “Oh, it's that simple? You fall in love with me and want a romantic relationship, nothing changes for you with the exception of feeling hunky-dory all the time. But what about me Colson? It's not that simple, is it? I can't just get into a relationship with you without throwing my whole fucking world into upheaval!” “But that's every relationship! There's always going to be a period of adjustment.” “A period of adjustment? Go fuck yourself, Colson,” I pick up my shoes and a random bag before storming out of my room and slamming every door I can on the way out. 

I make my way down the street, getting as far away as possible. I don't know whether to scream or cry but I do know that I can't be near him. I order an Uber to the restaurant I'm meant to be meeting my date at, I figure that I need the distraction and I also don't want to be rude and cancel this close to the meetup.  "Y/N?" I hear a voice say, making me turn around. My eyes land on a very good looking man that just so happens to be my date.  "H/N?" (his name, you choose) He nods. I walk over to him and give him a quick hug.  "I knew you were beautiful but damn I didn't expect this, you look amazing!" He tells me. I grin.  "Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself," He doesn't look bad at all, and he's much more polite than Colson. He grabs my hand and leads me into the restaurant where he placed a reservation under his name. The waiter guides us to a secluded table in the back and we sit down.  "Can I get you anything to drink?" He asks.  "Your best red wine please," H/N replies. I cringe internally, Colson and I never drink wine because honestly, we think it tastes like piss.  "Just a vodka soda please," I smile. He nods and walks away.  "So Y/N, how was your day?" "To be honest," I sigh. "I had a huge fight with my best friend right before I came here. I didn't really want to go out tonight but I didn't want to be rude and ditch you. You're making me feel better anyway," "I'm so sorry to hear that. Can I ask what it was about?" He's intrusive, not like Colson who usually takes my mind off why I'm upset rather than dwelling on it.  "It's personal," I mutter. Why am I comparing him to Colson? "Oh," He replies harshly.  "Anyway, how was your day?"  "Good," He gave a boring answer, this guy is nothing like Colson.  "Um I actually think this was a bad idea, I'm not going to be able to focus on you when I'm this upset. I think I'm just going to go, thank you for momentarily cheering me up though," I say as I begin to stand up.  "Are you fucking serious?" He raises his voice. "You're such a bitch," Is he kidding me right now? I was going to at least pay for my drink but he can go fuck himself. I stomp away, not looking back. I order an uber back home and on the way, my mind won't stop racing. Why was I comparing every single thing he did to Colson or how he does it? Maybe I do feel something for him… 

I stand in front of my front door contemplating whether or not I should really go inside, Colson is obviously going to be upset when he sees me. I mean, what have I got to lose? Only my best friend... I walk through the door and find Colson sitting on the couch with a blunt in his mouth.  "You're back early," He says with a worn voice. He had obviously been crying. I sit next to him and take the blunt.  "He was a dick," I reply quietly as I exhale. "I couldn't stop comparing him to you, and that's when I realised…" Tears begin to form in my eyes.  "Realised what?" He looks over at me to make eye contact.  "That I'm in love with you too," I breathe out. "You… the one least likely; I mean, you were my best friend, like a brother to me. And while I was falling for you, I put a ceiling on that, because you were my best friend. Until I remembered why I opened the door to love in the first place - to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. And so here we are, I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified when I'm lying in your arms. I have no question that there was someplace I didn't look. And that makes all the difference. You're the one.”

-

i’m not sure how i feel about this tbh. i used some excerpts from a movie, chasing amy, because i love them so much and molded them to fit colson and y/n. i feel like i could’ve finished it better but anyway, i hope y’all like it :)

also stay safe, and remember to wash your hands! 

tagged: @2dead2function @s-j-g-x @bakerkells @mayaslifeinabox @onlybadthingz @PumpkinQueenest19 @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @Feeding-into-darkness @xxkellsvixen19xx @lovemythsworld @xwhitewalkerx @deanwinchesterswife121 @jindongdongie​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @machine-gun-colson​

link to be tagged in future posts

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 511

Ok so this episode is like the perfect embodiment of my love/hate relationship with the books. And the show, but since the author wrote it, the books too, and her writing/plotting in general. I hated the other episode she wrote so my expectations going into this were *rull* low.

This episode was like a series of character-driven vignettes, which is what I like most about her writing (and why I bother even sticking around): random scenes here and there that I really enjoy as standalone bits. But, in true Outlander fashion, it also like ticked a lot of the boxes for stuff plot-wise that I can’t stand. Namely, yet more violence against multiple women, Marsali and Fergus getting shortchanged, Lord John crossing just over the creepy line for a sec with Jamie and the situation with Ulysses’ legal status. It didn’t check the rape box, but we may have to revisit that next week. I sure as fuck hope we don’t have to, but seeing as this show never met a rape it didn’t think was ToTaLlY nEcEsSaRy to include... *preemptive sigh*

Show-wise this very much felt like a penultimate episode and in that respect it accomplished what it was supposed to. In the overall arc of the season though, much like when considering the whole book series, a few solid standalone scenes here and there do not equal a good whole. To be in this fandom is to be an expert in eating around the moldy parts of the bread to get a few nibbles of good stuff.

Anywho, SCIENCE!JIZZ 5EVA!

Fuck yeah PB&J, and Claire is forgiven for not mastering fluff yet. But fluffernutters are also a staple in any growing kid’s diet.

Poor burned girl. It’s not her fault she vaguely resembles a walker so I spent the whole time thinking about TWD.

Omfg I got like PTSD flashbacks when I saw that dress in the title card. KILL THAT DRESS WITH FIRE!

There may not be fluffernutters, but Bree and Claire fluff and Young Ian and Jemmy fluff are good substitutes.

This kid is adorbs tho.

They’ve been really blasé about mentioning time travel in front of folks this season. First Marsali and now Young Ian. The latter will be remedied, but I’m still lowkey annoyed that Fergus and Marsali aren’t brought into the circle of trust... Esp. when there was a perfect opportunity for it later on.

I cannot with men, tbh. Seeking justice for a daughter who’s been “dishonored” by killing the dude is like the most overused trope of toxic masculinity ever. And now we’re supposed to be all like oh look how relatable the Brown guy is! Because our tropey men wanted to kill a dude like that last week! Hard pass. Also, fucking his kid wasn’t raped, she loves a guy who happens to be married, but everything was super consensual. Sooo like double gross points for you, dude.

And yes, I know it’s ThE pAsT, but I am not in the past, I am in the present, and the show is airing in the present, so thinking this sort of behavior is gross is totes ok. So the fucked up squad of randos who always jump into my notes about how they like “their men to be men” can just shove it, ok? Ok.

They’re like really not subtle with the foreshadowing this episode are they. But then again, when has subtlety ever been a thing on this show. That’s a nice still you got there, shame if anything were to happen to it...

I’m really digging the decor in this living room.

Oh hey! They finally decided to stop pretending like Young Ian was dumb and didn’t notice literally *gestures* everything about Claire.

I’m still salty they never told Jenny and Ian in S3 tbh.

Shockingly, considering who wrote it, so much of this episode is directly from the books. So I’m sure the Cult of Herself folks will be obsessed. And like yeah, some of the stuff in this episode is some of the bits I really like from the books as individual little scenes. However! I know some in the cult will use this as a reason why the show should StAy TrUe To ThE bOoKs more. And please, for the love of fuck, fight that instinct. Parts of this episode aren’t good “because they’re from the book,” they’re good because they’re emotional moments between characters, which is where both the books and the show are strongest. “Sticking with the book” on everything would make an already not great show even worse. I mean, the show ain’t great, but thank fuck they’ve streamlined the book stuff as much as they have.

Yes, I did notice the Pamela easter egg from the book. No, I’m not one who gets excited about shit like that.

Aaand here we get the problematic af bit about Ulysses and his legal status. In the book, he was offered freedom and turned it down to stay with Jocasta. Which is twelve kinds of fucked up. Here, he *is* a free man and he chooses to stay and cosplay an enslaved person so he can chill with Jocasta? FUCK THAT NOISE. That is some “benevolent slave owner” bullshit. They don’t get overt with the Ulysses and Jocasta are banging stuff from the book, which is also epically fucked up considering the power dynamic and how a fuckton of men enslaved their own fucking kids because they’d raped the mothers and children take the status of the mother. I’m glad they didn’t come right out and say that. But it’s like lowkey implied and even if it’s not supposed to be taken as canon, having a Black man be given the option to get the fuck out of there and choose to stay with someone who enslaves other Black people is like some dangerous white fanfic nonsense.

Also, thinking about the slave/master relationship dynamic today really makes me wish I saw Jeremy O. Harris’ play while it was running...

Oh yay, Bree and Roger are actually leaving. Much like the Bonnet shit, credit where credit’s due, I’m glad they’re not dragging the will they/won’t they go out for another season.

Don’t sound so butthurt that you didn’t get to murder a guy, Jamie.

Poor Young Ian. Buddy needs a hug. And more screentime for his story. Like, do we really need something else traumatic to happen to Claire when we could explore family dynamics instead? This time with Young Ian and his wife and their Mohawk family?

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER WAYS TO HAVE DRAMA AND CONFLICT THAT CAN TAKE UP THE RUNNING TIME OF A SEASON THAT DON’T INVOLVE CONSTANTLY PUTTING THE WOMEN IN PHYSICAL DANGER.

Lol at the thought of LJG “working the land.” Like, buddy, have you seen yourself?

“No doubt there a great many things I shall miss about being here.” Don’t make it weird bro.

Yes, I know he’s like gonna miss their friendship and stuff. But he’s always been just a smidge too intense about it. And by a smidge I mean the gay guy openly in love with his straight best friend a gross trope and I don’t like it.

Ok so if we’re following the “rules” of the show that the production used to recite ad nauseam to justify why Jamie and Claire barely seemed to even like each other for a few seasons (”they’re married, we don’t need to see them fuck!” “we already know they love each other, it’s a given!”), this sex scene shouldn’t exist. Because it’s really not essential to the plot. Which just proves the “rules” are and always were bullshit excuses. And the author/writer of this episode def spouted that bullshit too, so she can also shove it.

Because this scene *should* exist and those “rules” *were* complete crap. Because Jamie and Claire are very sexual/physical people and, especially when they’re going through things, use sex to center themselves where they are and in their relationship. Bree and Roger are leaving. Jem’s leaving. They’re sad about that. But they’re also happy that they made a family and got to be together as a family and are glad to have had that chance. (And, they just like to fuck.) So of course this is a good character moment. This is the kind of shit we should be seeing instead of just a constant barrage of plot and violence. And the crew can fuck all they off with their not at all convincing talking points about “rules.”

Also this is a much better use of sex than them constantly having them fuck after a fight instead of actually working through the issue between them.

Also, fuck yeah, get it gurrrl.

SCIENCE!JIZZ! (I’m gonna need a gif of Claire’s face when Jamie’s figuring it out because that’s gonna be in heavy reaction rotation.

I just love Claire fuck yeah science Beauchamp.

It’s also another scene that does nothing to advance the plot, but is a nice respite from the constant trauma. The show has yet to find a balance between the two, which is annoying af because they’ve had five seasons to figure it out. So like whenever there is fluff, folks pounce on it like starving animals. Which some in the crew (and some fans) like to point out like “see, you all like everything now!” Or “look, why are you whining so much, we gave you this!” Or “wow you hate the show but now you like this part? Hypocrite.”

But like, no, that’s not what it means. Not giving someone water for days and then throwing them a small canteen doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. It’s still super fucked up. So no, enjoying the fact that there are a few fluffy scenes in an episode doesn’t mean the show is good. If they made more of an effort to center the characters and spread the fluff around a bit more instead of waiting until there was like trauma fatigue and throwing in a fluffy life raft, the show as a whole would be stronger.

</rant>

Ok it’s super fucked up they hadn’t told Bree about Willie yet, but I’m glad Jamie is the one who tells her.

“And it wasn’t a matter of love between us, but it was her choice, and that’s all I’ll say about it.” BECAUSE SHE RAPED HIM. COERCION IS NOT CONSENT AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT HOW “HOT” THAT SCENE WAS ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING AND THE PRODUCTION IS DISGUSTING FOR SHOOTING A FUCKING RAPE IN THE MANNER THEY DID. AND ALSO FUCK THEM FOR HAVING IT BE A RAPE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT COULD HAVE SO FUCKING EASILY BEEN CONSENSUAL.

This show is so fucking not good.

This scene with Jamie and Brianna is super nice, but like, we saw nothing of them building their relationship. He didn’t even fucking hug her after Murtagh died. The scene loses so much of what it could have had because they never did the legwork to show us what they mean to each other.

It’s the same old shit they pulled with Claire and Jamie. “Oh they’re together and endgame so we don’t actually need to show you them building and working on their relationship that much. Because you know they’re together so just go with it.” Like no? Fuck you? That’s not how this works?

FERGUS AND MARSALI DESERVE BETTER!

Of course Marsali’s preggo again. Why the fuck should she do anything but spit out babies. Also, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE THE FRASER KIDS TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL.

And Bree’s become a sister to Marsali? We saw one fucking scene of them together. See above rant. Fucking show us them becoming sisters. Sorry to interrupt your constant stream of violence and trauma, but fucking actually SHOWING characters building relationships instead of TELLING us they did the thing is how this is fucking supposed to work.

I’m rull pissed we never got quality Fraser kid bonding, y’all.

And ditto with this scene with Lizzie. We saw more of Bree and Lizzie than Bree and Marsali, but like we never really saw them becoming friendly post Bree’s rape and Rogergate.

All the goodbyes are like making me feel inch deep feelings because they’re rooted in nothing we’ve actually seen. And I’m not a Bad Fan or dumb for not filling in the feelings myself. I’m the viewer. It’s not my job to fill in the show’s gaps. It’s the show’s job not to have emotional gaps.

Oh hey! Another shitty man who hurts his wife and another woman trapped in a physically abusive relationship who thinks the abuse is her fault! On Outlander? Who’da thunk they’d have something like this?!

I’m so tired, y’all. So. Fucking. Tired.

I HOPE YOUNG IAN FINDS HAPPINESS TOO, ROGER.

Ok but for real, every time Lord John talks about how Willie and Bree are like Jamie it has that gross tinge to it. Like I know he’s not meaning it like a creeper, but they leaned so fucking hard into him being so into and not over Jamie that the layer of grossness is always there.

Also like, grannie and grandda, we got like one scene of Claire and Jamie playing with Jem. WE COULD HAVE FELT SO MANY MORE FEELINGS ABOUT THEM BEING SEPARATED IF ONLY THEY HAD TAKEN THE TIME TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIPS ON SCREEN.

Claire making everyone PB&Js is fucking adorable and I love her.

Old timey forks will never not be fucking weird looking.

“And now it’s just you and me again.” Uh, Fergus, Marsali and Young Ian might be a tad offended by that sentiment, Clairebear.

Ok but like do they really think a rope is gonna hold up to fucking magic time travel rocks? It’s gotta just be like a mental security blanket thing, right? Because if not, loooooooooool.

Ok but the really just let their kiddo run off like that in the middle of the magic time travel rock circle? Dumbasses.

Ok but like what’s the betting they ended up in like a RenFest type thing and think they haven’t traveled but they have and it’s like lol look at them fitting in with their old timey clothes vs. skipping them going back to the future and doing the going adventuring around the even past-er past part but with them all together instead of Roger and Buck?

I’m just hoping it’s something completely different than the books because I have zero interest in Bree and Roger in the 20th century and hate the Roger and Buck nonsense with a fiery passion.

Erm, that’s a little close to the house to build a privy, my dudes.

Is the setting a guy’s dislocated shoulder thing supposed to be a cute callback? Because like hey wink wink, first she was kidnapped and then set a shoulder and now she’s setting a shoulder and then getting kidnapped is kind of a fucked up “joke.”

But how about we get more of Nurse!Marsali and less of Marsali just being constantly preggo.

“Sort of like the opposite of what you do when ya joint a hog.” I JUST LOVE NURSE!MARSALI A LOT OK.

Aaand now that we’re all good and docile little fans who have been placated with some fluff and Fraser fucking as a treat, we can go back to the regularly scheduled violence against women. Because we literally just had a violent abduction last week. So clearly it’s time for another.

Everything in this story has been done before...

I swear to fuck, if they do the thing I think they’re gonna do next week, I hope they get rightfully dragged by fucking everyone.

And if by some fucking miracle of Caitriona putting her foot down they don’t do the thing next week, they get zero brownie points. You don’t get rewarded for doing what you should have done the whole time.

And of course the closing is Jamie lighting Flaming Dildo 2.0. His men swore oaths to him, not any government or crown, and protecting his family has always been the top thing for Jamie. So good choice there with saving Claire being the reason he calls up the men.

[euphoricnyctophilia]

Things I noticed while watching part 21

This is just something I’ve noticed in general, Salem is a terrible familiar. He’s helped Sabrina twice that I can think of ( in the maze and with Batibat) but other than he’s useless. He didn’t warn Sabrina about the witch Hunter and when she had a nightmare about Nick he just kinda looked at her and offered no comfort. He’s really out here to being a cat.

Zelda is a literal witch, can she not heat the water herself?

What do you mean, “who will say black mass for us?” Umm your new directrix, keep up

“Raz my berries daddy-o”

Hilda not knowing to how to answer the phone when she’s at the academy

Mary’s soft little voice. I missed it

When Mary says “Dante” like “Dauntey”

Zelda’s face when she’s hitting the statue of Blackwood. Also on the second swing the mallet just hits nothing and goes straight to the floor

“Praise it to heaven” is that bad or good? Wouldn’t you not want the council to know what you did?

The one time Sabrina (or anyone) goes to check on Ms. Wardwell and it’s not even to really see how she is

How does Dorian have a business? How are these witches paying for drinks?

If there’s only one flower, how does Dorian know that someone else hasn’t already taken it?

Also why is this evil flower the only thing that can get rid of his pimple? Has he asked Aunt Hilda?

Ross moving the microphone out of his face like he does in that video of him performing in that yellow shirt onstage at a concert

Roz and I have almost the same curl pattern and I would like my hair to do that

The dead people shoes are rainboots, bowling shoes, and cowboy boots

Zelda did not need to put her lotion on with her leg up like that

The incantation not transporting them back unless they have the flower sounds like some bs

Sabrina saying “I love you guys” like they’re about to die before they enter to portal

I appreciate that he’ll isn’t all fire and brimstone

I would also like to know whose job it was to go out and paint all of the signs in blood so people could navigate through hell

Caliban’s accent is too melodramatic for me

Can someone please tell me what year this show is set in? Because I can absolutely guarantee you that no house in New Orleans looks like that in the present day.

Prudence’s “pink dress and black undergarments” look is trademarked because no one else is physically capable of pulling it off

Sabrina saying “ Don’t look, nobody look.” And Theo looking immediately around.

How does uncle Jessie know that Lilith is the one who sent him to the field of witness?

Lilith petting the glass with Nick’s tongue in it

Richard is doing a really good job of pretending to be Hilda pretending to be Blackwood

I love that you can see Miranda trying not to break character when Richard says “hunky dory”

I don’t like that Harvey ready the sign that said Forest of Torment then said “I think we’re here”

Theo: There’s a crazy tinman trying to kill Harvey

Sabrina and Roz instead of getting up to help: WhAat?

I forgot that Harvey literaly had to kill his brother because of Sabrina

Prudence and Ambrose drinking cocktails, fuming

Marie and I had the same reaction when Prudence said “hoodoo voudou”

I feel like Lilith would’ve eaten Hawthorne’s face, I know that we were meant to recognize him, but why is he green?

Sabrina is really out here making up spells

I really like Grandma Walker’s costume

“We will not have our sovereignty challenged by them again.” So what happened the first time? I would’ve liked to have seen it. What did she say to them?

Also Lilith calling it her “right to the throne” is the energy this season should’ve manifested for her

Zelda really cut into the cake with malice

After the council leaves the cake only has one slice cut out of it, even though three of them had a slice

“You are in highschool in hell, there is no god.”

The face Granma Walker makes after she says they should do Harvey next, is one my grandmothers make a lot

“It is our Queen’s prerogative to change her mind.” I am in love with this minion.

Zelda leading the coven in a prayer to Lilith

You can see the split where Michelle’s false lashes come out from under her real ones

When she says “they’re praying, to me” the minion isn’t in the room, so she’s asking if Lucifer/ Nick can hear it? That would be an interesting twist if Lilith and Lucifer can hear when the other gets prayers

The way Lilith’s jaw locks into a smile when she says “Sabrinaaa”

I was having a real issue with the length and volume of Lilith’s hair for like this entire season, but right here as she’s coming down the stairs with her two fingers up, the locks are thriving and I’m living for it

“My green one.”

It was completely irresponsible of Lilith to agree to let Sabrina take Nick out of hell. She could’ve helped Sabrina find another prison and then half the problems caused in the rest of this part could’ve been avoided

If I didn’t have the fingers of a lesbian I would want my nails to look like Prudence’s when she’s lighting that candle before she and Ambrose use her blood for the spell

Scotchland

The lights coming down from the ceiling are eyeballs in sockets

I’m really ready to drop kick all of the kings of hell for disrespecting Lilith

They want Caliban to rule because he’s made out of clay from the pit. But Lilith was created by God and made out of dirt, wouldn’t that make out her more in their favor to rule because she defied him, turned away from him, and lived. I get that they only think of her as less than and subservient, but even if you’re a sexist asshole you have to admit she has a wicked backstory.

Lilith’s face when Caliban says “this is salvation”

“what a disappointment you are,” “back at you”

“It’s basic cosmology”

“This so called prince Caliban is made of dirt” He’s right as he should say it

“I do lie, and often, but not about this.”

Lucifer’s face when Nick and Sabrina kiss

“You’ve obviously never been to highschool” as a response is proof enough that Sabrina shouldn’t rule.

Caliban says that “monarchs rule by divine right” but he’s... made out of...dirt...

Caliban is really out here referring to himself as “prince of hell” but shouldn’t Lilith know who he is then? we should know who he is, because someone probably would’ve used his name in an expression like they use for other demons like when Zelda says “Mephistopheles save us....” 

“And I’ll decide wether or not I want to defend it.” Really? You’ll decide whether or not you want the throne that you promised to Lilith but then decided to claim and you don’t even really want it enough to defend it?

Lilith really said that Sabrina could go home if she had a way of doing so as if she wasn’t gonna help her. Tbh I wouldn’t have blamed her.

None of these kids seem to have jobs. Is Cerberus letting them eat for free since he’s dating Hilda? Because he’s basically her uncle now.

[wombathos]

stray thoughts - ep6

- (I forgot this last ep bc other emotions but the hordak remembering entrapta thing sure is interesting huh)

- have they... have they adopted him

- they’ve adopted wrong hordak

- are they gonna keep calling him that

- ADORA WANTS TO CHECK UP ON CATRA

- is she ra just gonna come out whenever catra’s in danger

- get you a girl who turns into a big hunky superhero whenever you’re in trouble

- “she was there when her friends needed her” i mean... catra specifically. yes you too glimmer but like glimmer specifically

- “I’m gonna go check on Catra again” - She “big mood” Ra speaking for us all here 

- bow’s really going through it this season huh

- omg look wrong robo is in the intro

- where is catra

- where catra

- there catra

- catra sad??

- flashes again? bitch we in for the angst

- everybody’s getting visions this season

- (side note but guess this explains why the catra trailer shots were so selective and why there were so few of them)

- (tho tbh I think we’re through everyone by now?? no clue what’s gonna happen)

- look at them!!

- oh angst

- tbh hiding away is a big mood, i get where she’s coming from, but also the pain

- my beautiful girl

- sjdjskd adora complaining about catra

- REDEMPTION IS HARD WORK

- give bow a break 2k20

- they’re being tracked huh oh is it catra

- it’s catra

- oh they’ve been all green liquided

- these people lack any sort of genre awareness, you fools need to get out of there

- see they’ve been green liquided what did i say

- ooh we’re getting some prime entrapta and catra angst i see how it is

- you’re gonna make some amends eventually cat girl

- i believe in u

- bitch my heart

- wow

- WOW

- (the way catra always hides in the corner whenever she feels - eh - cornered, my beautiful cat girl please accept some hugs) (like she will just refuse help, make it stop)

- babie

- oh word????

- the angst

- OH MY GOD

- legit cannot deal with this season

- HANDS

- this WHOLE SEASON I CANNOT

- (frost and micah’s relationship development works well here, the thing where he’s going oh it’s not to protect you, yeah)

- ohhhhh

- selfless girl

- big ears don’t let him back in your mind bad bad bad

- adora’s face though!!! when catra talks about him being in her mind!!

- SHE TOOK HER HANDS

- really creepy score here, like this season has some genuinely unnerving music (with the whole oh he’s going to control all of etheria)

- i guess we’re calling it ‘chipped’ not ‘green liquided’

- she babie????

- omg

- did??? she really??? JUST TRANSFORM INTO SHE RA BECAUSE CATRA WANTS TO GO HOME

- omg her new transformation thing she has gotten the ultimate princess power-up she’s like the mega princess now

- catra is feeling the gay tonight

- HORSEY GOT A POWER UP TOO

- i cannot adequately describe with words how awesome this entire battle sequence is, it’s really really good

- the tension i’m feeling fuck

- omg

- SHE SAID THANK YOU AND I’M SORRY AND ENTRAPTA FORGIVES HER MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL

- omg omg

- glimmer.......... thank you

- THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED WTF WTF WTF

- she is just being accepted!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow i cannot

- incredible

- this season huh

- it’s too much truly

- wow

- wow

[thatyanderecritic]

The Invisible Man

Title: The Invisible Man

Media: Movie, Directed by Leigh Whannell

Yandere(s): Adrian Griffin

Yandere Scale: 0/5

Criticism written by: Kai 

Editor: Julie

The Review: 

Holy shit! Is this an actual yandere review?! OMG!!!

Haha, hi everyone. Kai here to dust off the ol’ review hat and give y’all a yandere review. This wasn’t exactly planned but this movie fell onto our laps (five dollars Tuesday from AMC :) ) and we went into this movie not expecting any yandere themes. Well… seeing the yandere scale, it’s obvious that there weren't any yanderes, to begin with. But after seeing the movie, we can see why a person may mistake the main antagonist as a “yandere”. So this is a bit of a preemptive attack from us (inb4 we get an anon ask about this movie). That being said, let’s jump straight into the review. Spoilers below cut.

I’m sure everyone knows of the original novel and movie that shares the same name… “The Invisible Man”. But this 2019 version has no tangible connection to the original novel besides the concept of an “invisible man” and one of the characters having the last name of “Griffin”. That being said, the movie is basically summarized as this: The main character: Cecilla managed to escape her abusive, mad scientist husband named Adrian. In a supposed fit of depression, Adrian “kills” himself after Cecilla left and everything seems hunky-dory. Cecilla got this big inheritance and she’s surrounded by people who care for her. But uh oh! Cecilla got some sort of third sense or something because she feels like Adrian is still out there and moving behind the scenes… he’s ruining her relationships and making her look crazy. Eventually, Cecilla finds out about this invisibility suit that Adrian is using but gets framed for murdering her sister! Things finally heat up when Cecilla finds out she’s pregnant, escapes the mental ward, and kills Adrian’s brother (who was set up by Andrian). It ends with Cecilla putting on the suit and making it look like Adrian killed himself. The end! 

Okay wow. That’s a lot but the summary for Adrian is pretty simple… he isn’t a yandere. He’s just an abuser. This word is literally tossed around every five minutes in the movie and even in plot summaries. Adrian beats Cecilla and treats her like shit. Anything that could be mistaken as “yandere actions” is just Adrian being an abusive piece of shit and doing what abusers normally do… isolate the victim. Nothing more, nothing less. If we want to put him under a microscope, it’s rather hard. Adrian took his role as the invisible man very seriously because you never see the fucking man beside the beginning and the end. No real motive as to “why” it had to be Cecilla (besides Adrian being a guy who can’t take no… according to his brother) and we only know how they met in a throwaway line by Cecilla (“I’m just some girl you met in a frat party”). Adrian was a very surface level character… actually, all of them were surface level. Just a bunch of characters tossed into a scenario. Which leaves me to my final point.

This movie… wasn’t that good. It was rather average and just “okay”. We come in expecting a thriller/horror but we ended up with a thriller/comedy. Like… deadass, the movie theater we went to was packed and the audience was fucking laughing at the shit the characters were saying. Julie and I were hysterical each time the characters does something stupid. Like… this isn’t a comedy!!! But the logic was just out the window. Characters don’t act like normal human beings and the only character that was rational was the main character… but even she had some deus ex machina level third sense. Two scenes that stood out: Cecilla was on the other side of the room when the daughter of her friend asked if she wanted a movie night. Cecilla was just about to agree when Adrian punched the teenage daughter. Then the teenage daughter told her dad that Cecilla punched her. W-what?! Like I get Adrian is invisible but Cecilla was literally on the other side of the room! What can a rational person think?! Most people would fucking assume a ghost and their house is haunted. She’s literally on the other side of the room! And the other scene is when Adrian faked a hate letter from Cecilla to her sister. Sister thought Cecilla was a major bitch and blocked her. What??? Like… no question? Not even thinking that this sort of letter doesn’t fit the type of person Cecilla is? God damn, this is advice to you all: If you receive a strange text or letter from a friend that doesn’t fit their personality… then something is fucking up. Don’t be brain dead. Everyone in this movie is braindead tbh. Julie made the joke that all the stupid side characters represent how an abuse victim feels when no one believes them. Might sound clever but please remember that no one put actual thought to this movie. 

Anyways, do I recommend this movie in general? Only if you want a good laugh and cheap jumpscares. For anything yandere related? God no, the guy is just an abusive prick. Kai, out. 

Overall Score: 2.5/10

[iimmortals]

SAMARA   WEAVING   ,   CISFEMALE   ,   SHE   /   HER        →         according   to   the   school   records   ,   MARILYN   SYLVIA   HASTINGS   has   been   teaching   at   sacred   heart   for   the   past   six   months   .   i   last   saw   them   around   the   greystone   room   ;   i   think   they   were   hoping   that   writing   a   new   poem   would   mend   her   broken   heart   .   at   twenty   -   nine   years   old   ,   mare   teaches   classics   and   get   this   ,   i   heard   that   she’s   had   no   less   than   seven   identities   in   her   lifetime   —   figure   it’s   true   ?   everyone   around   here   always   associates   them   with   hiding   in   plain   sight   ,   hearing   soft   footfalls   coming   from   outside   your   bedroom   ,   a   night   sky   devoid   of   stars   .   in   this   time   of   strange   happenings   ,   they   have   no   affiliation   with   the   cult   in   the   woods   . 

sup y’all ! this is the first intro of three, i’ll try to have the others out asap. — trigger warning: passing mention of abuse.

BACKGROUND !

ever since she was a little girl, mare has been a total hopeless romantic. she was born and raised in the small town of tonganoxie, kansas; she spent much of her days reading, devouring anything she could get her hands on, often taking out classic after classic from the town library

any spare change that came marilyn’s way, she used to go to the cinema to see hollywood’s latest and greatest romance film, starry eyed at the beautiful starlets and their leading men

it shouldn’t come as much of a shock that marilyn married her high school sweetheart at 18— but for her, the results of her marriage were a shock

she wanted the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, the american dream; what she got instead was a dilapidated home in the local trailer park and a husband who hit the bar a little too hard every day after work

eventually, she’d had enough; after the abuse she’d suffered at his hands, she knew she needed to leave

she yeeted out in the middle of the night, changed her name, and fled to new york city

it was there that she met a much older man, someone with enough money to make her head spin

after a life with so little, the money and affections were more than enough to win her over, and she accepted his proposal of marriage not long after

his children hated her, but marilyn didn’t care. for the first time, she was happy, comfortable, and had everything she ever wanted

that is, everything except for true love :/

cue a SPICY romance with the doorman of their elite new york city apartment building

y’all already know what’s abt to happen next… girl decided to run off AGAIN

this time, she took some of her riches with her, determined to run away with the love of her life ( yes, the doorman )

all is hunky dory for a while; they’re like a brand new bonnie and clyde, tearing their way across the states as he pulls her into a wilder lifestyle

they change their looks and names to stay ahead of the law, marrying each other once they reach vegas. finally, marilyn thinks she has the love she’s always looked for

not so: she wakes up the next morning and he’s gone, and anything valuable is gone with him

her next move comes from a near-dreamless sleep: the only thing that slips through is a brief memory of the first time she read euripedes’s medea

and so, like medea herself, marilyn decides it’s time for her next life

her wedding ring buys a plane ticket across the atlantic; she spends a year waitressing and immersing herself in the classics, brushing up on long-forgotten stories and forging herself a degree

when she’s ready, she interviews at sacred heart, offering an impressive list of references. she’s hired starting the 1974-1975 school year, and pays no mind to whatever nonsense is going on in the woods

she’s just tryna get by tbh ! she’s still a lil fucked up from her last husband running off without a word, but she loves her students and has been very surprised to find that she loves teaching

overall, she’s very sweet, still a little naive despite being married THREE TIMES, which can be a strange combo with the fact that she’s... committed Crimes

can also be a lil bit of a dumb blonde sometimes but she’s very smart when it comes to her lessons

PLOTS !

friends — she’s a sweetie !! it’s bound to happen. i’d love a professor friend that she bonded with when she came to campus, students she vibes with, anything

crush — mare is a hopeless romantic; this is inevitable. it can be totally one sided or your character can reciprocate !! either works

that being said... if anyone wants to fall in love with her... marriage #4 ?

someone who thinks she’s dumb as a rock & perhaps hates her classes :/

my brain is dry rn so that’s all i got but i’ll be back soon w two more intros ! xoxo plot w me