#h0rnynight0wlasks

[neko-nemesis]

BESTIIEEEE OMFGGH IM DOWN SO BAD FOR PYRO ABYSS LECTOR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He can dick me down any day istg

Hyperventilating rn I hate this game wtf I'm drooling for all the npcs wtf wtf WTF

*spoilers*

AHHHHHH SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY AHSHEHEHDJ girl WHAT IS THAT PICTURE?!!

Please I didn't really get to simp that much, cause I was busy mad at that mf betraying the traveller and was that some sort of foreshadowing?!! When they said we should stay alert near paimon.. bruh. He got me paranoid, I had no time to be a simp!

If we're gonna talk about npcs, let me just say..

Nobushi and kairagi.

Just. Look at him

I've seen lovely talented artist's fanarts on Twitter of them and oh. Oh wow.

Honorable Mentions: Electrohammer vanguard, Anemoboxer vanguard (istg they have my size kink acting up), Geochanter bracer, Pyroslinger bracer, pyro agents and mirror maidens.

I'm just gonna put this out there.

[neko-nemesis]

Diluc this, huffman that EXCUSE YOU- Where tf is your appreciation for literal Dilf Wagner ??? I mean hunny??

A workaholic blacksmith? Hunky af? Strong? Actually had some meat? (sorry itto they did you dirty why mihoyo give you sticks for arms I dunno) the actual fucking zaddy in this damn game?!?!? Hellooo?!?!

Ps: my brain if full of rot and I finally plucked up the courage to send asks lmao excuse all the useless ones i prolly sent

THANK you for the ask love @brokeartskid and GOSH I'm so SORRRRRY for the late response, shit for me is going a lil rough this new year but ANYWAYS 😋OKAY OKAY listen. HEAR ME OUT!! I got alot to say about this man. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I HEAR YOU AND I GET YOU. I JUST DIDNT THINK THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO THINKS THE SAME WAY DDHDHDHDJ and goodness please, feel free about the asks, you made my day with this incredible one <3 don't hesitate to drown me with your brainrots CAUSE UGH SAME DAMNITNSHDJS I finally know there's other fucking people drooling over this buff ass Wagner.

Side note for itto, istg he looks like Zeke's titan/ the beast titan from aot ☠️ I'm sorry mihoyo played my guy wrong

Istg, I saw a TikTok of him way before I started the game and man got me raising my brow in interest. And when I did join the game, when I would have some spare time, I'd just stand there near the blacksmith and watch him HAHHSJDUDHDJ. I got some headcanons of my own for this beef cake (lmao I'm sorry) ;)

Okay, No one. NO ONE can convince me this mf isn't pent up as shit. I doubt he ever took some time off from working so hard all the time and you know, let his mind wonder. So really, imagine being that one little pretty thing that caught his eye. >:)

He's ofcourse not one to have time for idle chatter (diluc much?), Imagine that sexy buff man for once in his life getting distracted during work whenever you were around the streets. Oh I'm sure it will be soooooo frustrating for the man </3 what's more enticing annoying for Wagner is that you know what you're doing.

So imagine one fine evening, he just had enough. He's not used to having distraction nor a need for something or should I say someone ? Ofcourse it's none other than you ♡ even more so, after seeing you flirt away with his apprentice, Schulz??? Well let's hope he doesn't break the weapon he's forging with his bare hands. (Screaming cause like just think for a secondsjdj) bestie you're getting your guts rearranged tbh.

So I say, don't be so surprised if you happen to be walking by but suddenly get dragged out of no where but then see it's none other than Wagner himself, literally fuming. (Gosh do  I love hot men when they're angry.)

So just imagine, Dilf Wagner having enough with your shit and bending you over, arching your back until it aches a bit from the stretch but I'm sure you don't mind <3 the fucking man you've been wanting for so long, is about to pound you to oblivion buttt not yet.

The last thing you'd expect is him ripping down your pants/dress, the bottom half atleast. But before you could protest about the cold or your torn up clothing, his calloused hand spanking your bare bottom, hard. Gosh those hands. I can't bear to imagine the absolute bliss as well as sparks of pain you could feel through the impacts from his hands. My masochist ass can only dream~

And his voice? Cross my heart and I hope to die, it makes me all giddy. Imagine that same voice sounding all husky and drunk heavy in lust,

"You've been waiting for this, aren't you?"

"Don't tell me you're getting off to this like a whore."

OH and please tell me you remember his line from the dragon storm or whatever quest, he really goes

"What? Speak up. I can't hear you."

Imagine him mocking you like that when all you can do is whimper.

FUCK this, I can't write everything I think of here. I'll literally write a fic today about this mf 🏃‍♀️💨 lmk if you wanna get tagged ;))

[neko-nemesis]

The absolutely unholy thoughts I have about Cyrus....

Man's got a daughter prolly older than me but i would still pay to get some-

Pls send some holy water my wayy its 3 in the morning and my brain refuses to stoppp

Oh? oh ? Tell me more. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So far, I've noticed he seems like to be the 'gentle giant' type and that makes me go feral ngl. Totally the type to rock your shit until you're probably bedridden for days but then tuck you in bed and look after you, being all cute and shit sjdhsjsjskjdfhs

Istg, it got my tail wagging and shi 😫

And something about him, it's like fine aged wine you know what I mean? I fucking bet he easily blushes too like a teenager *screams*

To me, it feels like he got not a single evil bone inside of him, just fluff.

Cuff me up and throw me in jail cause I'm hella guilty of fantasizing this man. Imagine being a Dom with this man and gosh he will let you use him as you please didudjdjd it blows my mind that I never come across anything written about him and honestly I get shy about this but now that I know there's people out there like me, well..

*kira laugh*

Fine, I'll d0 iT mYselF

And if you talk to him in the Tavern I think, he talks about destroying pirate organizations and three dragons? This man fucking speaks of it like it's nothing. And tbh, it's so much more attractive ahhhshdhdjs

I'm writing about this teddy bear soon too, I can't fucking wait now~

[neko-nemesis]

Ok ok now its 3 am again and I'm tired of daydreaming and bestie I luv your mind lemme just say that

Coming to Cyrus tho, the other day I was watching some educational videos purely for science and that gave me some inspo like just imagine cyrus sitting on the floor in front of a bed with the back of his head resting flat on the edge while our marvelous mc/yn etc whatever smothers his face (obviously choking him with their thighs but that's besides the point)

Of course there's a mirror right in front of them for our mean lil dom mc to admire themselves riding his handsome face while watching him gasp and struggle to breathe. He's 100% moaning right into mc and sending vibrations that feel like mfing heaven. His Adams apple would probably be bobbing up and down while he tries desperately to catch a breath of air. Ngl doe its the messy clothes that tease you with just hint of his massive mommy milkers and toned abs that make me chug some holy water like hawt damn. His beard is prolly drenched with your juices and its 100% rolling down his neck and chest and LAWD HAVE MERCY I AINT NEVER WANTED TO ABSOLUTELY RUIN SOMEONE SO BAD BEFORE BUT WHOOPSIES IG

Its common sense that Cyrus Jr. would be at full attention during this whole fiasco. Lil precum just drooling from his 1000% veiny glowstick (The Grand Master has a thicc, veiny cock that twitches at the simplest touches now stfu). But all in all its the perfect image of Cyrus being at your mercy while you drag your nails across his chest and neck reaching up to his chin and how he quivers and whimpers at needing more and how he gasps and sputters after being released from your thighs but then dives right back in cuz ma man is so so so sooooooo addicted.

Huehuehue this looks better in my head tho lol i dunno

I-

It's extremely late into the night for me too and let me just say

C'mere. I need to either crush you with a hug or kiss your brain. I gotta catch my breath, idk if it's cause my asthma acting up or THIS FUCKING SHIT.

What have you done. Mean DOM with the teddy bear gentle giant CYRUS?! HOLY FUCKING GOD BESTIE? I can't fucking sleep at all tonight. This fucked me up.

Looks better in your head? Well lemme tell you sum. This is making me go feral. Istg I don't do drugs but I feel like I'm in a permanent trance rn. I can fucking see that shit happening. Gosh I fucking bet he gets a lil too committed. To the point, he would gladly fucking die between your thighs but won't stop, not even when you're getting overstimulated. It's driving me INSANE to even think of anything else.

Like I've mentioned before, this man probably has no mean bone inside of him, so I also fucking say that the entire time whenever he pulls away, praises will be slurred out from him, against your sex, almost like the fucker is trying to spell out the praises ON your skin directly at times. You could barely understand it but he just won't stop. L bombs on a repeat, wanting more even though the man gotta fucking breathe for once and just BEGGING you to cum on his tongue and face all over again.

AHHHSHRYEBDHDHDJDNRNJE

Just picturing him, blonde hair sticking to his forehead due to sweating, flustered face with a drunk ass smile, prettiest green pupils blown out in lust and hunger and those perfect large hands on your ass making you grind on his face and tongue more, to the point his grip is gonna leave pretty hand marks but hey, we don't mind now do we? ;)

[neko-nemesis]

This is probably my extremely-not-canon version of Cyrus as seen from my heavily tinted glasses but lmao who gives a f

Blushy baby Cyrus drinking at Angel's Share after a hard day's work being greeted by a fellow adventurer (who he's 1000% crushing on) with a "Cyrus! Great work today as well. How about we take out that horde of slimes at Stormbearer Mountains tomorrow? The youngins been having a little trouble with them"

You gonna be lying to yourself if you think Cyrus isn't gonna giggle like a little girl at that as if they just asked him to marry them.

I fr imagine Cyrus to be the type that would get absolutely smitten when he falls for people. Ps: in case you decide to drink with him and Jack and slyly lean against him or rest their arm on his shoulder or (god forbid) press your hand against his forehead to check his temperature since you noted that he seems to be burning up a little (😏😏), this man will spontaneously combust I aint lying. You will legit see it on his face as his eyes widen and he coughs to cover up the very obvious smile forming on his face, he'll prolly have butterflies zooming LMAO.

Bonus points if you ask him to drop you home and this lil teddy would be tipsy af but would go out of his way to "escort you" and when yall would have to take a break at the market's fountain and you can't help but spread your palms against his chest (it was only to help him definitely not to get a feel of his chunky melons) to force him to sit down to take a second and istg this oblivious man would place his hands over yours and give you that smile that makes you question your sanity and say something along the lines of "You're right, adventurers must know their limits. Its a line I often overstepped back in my younger days. This old man should look after himself some more shouldn't he?". You aint never held yourself back this bad before istg.

GODDAMMIT I WANNA FUCK HIS FACE WTF

Bonus bonus points if that horde of slimes you thought were completely harmless and wanted to check out turned out to be mutant versions created by the Abyss Order and you both almost manage to defeat them but not without Cyrus getting some messy burns since the Pyro slimes would a tad bit more feral that usual. He's alright he says but you know better and it would be best to treat any injuries as fast as possible. But dear oh dear, you both are miles away from Mondstadt and the usual concoctions that adventure's use isn't that effective (yk mutant stuff and shit) so you both trudge along to find a water source that can cool off those burns and help with the pain. Lo and behold you find one and hurriedly tell Cyrus to get in while you keep watch. (Imma skip the part where he strips because this shit is already too long lmaoo)

He complies but you can see by the way he's breathing, its not helping much. So you sit on a nearby rock while he stands between your legs with his back facing you as you use your Cryo vision and glide your fingers over the burns. Mr Gentle Giant unknowingly lets a very suggestive moan slip from his lips (obviously from the relief he felt right? Right??). He probably was so out of his mind that he didn't realize what he did but that obviously doesn't stop you from getting riled up. Like this bastard is fr testing your patience. He's already pissed you off with his exceptionally sweet smiles and his stolen glances at you (you'd obviously notice it since you take any and every chance to drool over him, ya lil slut lmao). Now too much is too much obviously, there's only so much a person can take. Not to mention the way his muscles ripple under your hands makes you cream fr. When he turns around to smile at you and thank you for being there for "this old crow", the way he runs his fingers through his hair, the way his plump lips that are still moist from the water look so delectable, a person can only hold back so much right? Riiiiiiiight

At least that's what you tell yourself before pushing your tongue down his throat

Ps this is heavily inspired by a similar post (about the fighting slimes and cooling off part) from a post THAT I CANT FIND GODDANGIT TUMBLR but imma keep looking and will tag later

Ps ps ps: I am gonna fire ideas at you from my idea cannon before bulldozing your house down in search of completed fics MUAHAHAHAHAHAH

Oh my god. OH my god.

Oh? My? God?

You're fucking insane. This is MAKING ME RUN A FUCKING MILE WHAT THE HELL. Stop adding more shit to my mind, I'm already a whore ffs

(fighting slimes and cooling off fic.. are you talking about the Childe one from AO3?!)

[neko-nemesis]

Its your horny night owl again!!!! I just wanna say beidou is obsessed with necks and collarbones and no one's gonna change my mind. This woman would grope me and I would thank her fr. Also voyeur beidou who gets off of you fucking yourself senseless on her dildo just makes my mind mush like 🛐🛐🛐🛐 beidou is the personification of "bitch who fights bears in the forest" and ngl I want me some of dat.

I'm literally about to dedicate a whole ass "h0rnynight0wlasks" tag for you bestie, literally making my days with your asks now xD

And just as I'm about to finish writing and you send me this. Where did you hide the cameras? This is GENIUS.

The need to just fucking have my head crushed between her thighs is unbelievable. The sub in me is screaming for her >///<