#he learns it from one of his internet savvy friends and is like oh i l

[unganseylike]

society if ronan knew the phrase “me when i lie” and used it after everything declan said

[moonsquaremars]

11th house thoughts

Hi everybody.

I have an 11th house stellium, and I love it. Probably because my venus is in there, der planet of luv, as well as mars, lust et aggression, and mercury, th’ intellect. 

My sun missed it shy of 1° ; had i been born just a few minutes earlier, I would have been an 11th house sun. But I’m a twelfer. Why, might you ask? My mother has an 11th house stellium afterall, so did my ex-boyfriend. Well, if you ask, my father is a twelfth house sun. 

And I’m learning to live with that. 

Just kidding. Anyways, I love my 11th house stellium. If you’re unfamiliar, the eleventh house is ruled by aquarius. Each of the twelve houses in astrology corelate to each of the twelve signs of the zodiac. The planet which governs both this house and sign is the planet of Uranus, which is my favorite one in our solar system :) I did a random generator a guy posted on reddit to find out which planet is dominant in your chart, and when I plugged everything in, I got Uranus. I was actually quite surprised by this, but overjoyed. I love everything uranus represents. Eccentricity, humanitarianism, chaos.

I am a cancer sun, though, and virgo moon. Cancer rules the moon, so wouldn’t that be my dominant planet? Or is it just my chart ruler? I don’t know. But the moon is so fleeting. Kind of chaotic, actually. Since the moon passes each sign every few days, that’s what makes us cancers so moody. We feel the energy of all the signs within a months time. Can you imagine how that feels? constantly knowing what other people are feeling and thinking? Or maybe I’m just imagining it. I am crazy, after all :p

I digress. The 11th house is fabulous. It rules the finer things in life. My ex-boyfriend was a dandy man, took me to fancy restaurants and hotels, the works. I need that sort of thing, I admire and crave it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very in tune with income inequality and the social issues that plague the world. But I still love dressing up in fancy clothes for a decadent night out. I suppose this is attributed to my stellium, but I’ll take it. A stellium by the way is when you have three or more planets in one house.

It’s kind of odd that my mom has an eleventh house stellium because we grew up quite poor. Nothing about her really screams fancy besides the fact that she adores drinking wine, is beautiful, and we live fancier only if you put us in to comparison with poorer people around us. We did grow up wearing nice clothes though. My mom would buy us second hand designer brand clothes like tommy hilfiger. Maybe that’s not designer, maybe that’s just brand name. I’m from Kentucky, give me a break. But we Kentucky fancy, baby.

Uranus being my dominant and favorite planet, is in my 7th house, the house of libra and relationships. Perhaps someone could pull up my chart {in the tags] and enlighten me on why it might be my dominant planet. I might also add that my draconic moon is in aquarius, which is supposely what your ‘soul’ truly is. I don’t quite believe that, because I think the soul is larger and smaller than the twelve signs of our universe. Or maybe just our solar system. At least of our conscience understanding of things at this time. Astrology is just a bunch of symbols made of our world to organize and communicate ieas n information. It’s not much more than that.

I recall being very internet savvy in middle and high school. My north node and chiron are in my third house, house of gemini and communication. All of my 11th house stellium planets are also in gemini. I see this being accurate because I am rather small in frame, standing at 5 foot 9 and weighing 125 pounds since I was thirteen years old. My mouth gets me in trouble, whether it’s from accidentally offending or just not being able to shut up! I would constantly be editing my myspace profile, using html codes, messing with the layout and how it interacted with my profile picture and song, and anything else I added to it. I loved it, and then that transitioned to my tumblr blog which I did in high school. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t die out, it’s definitely not what it used to be. Later when stumbleupon was something, I would look up things about futurism, humanism, design. I loved reading about the future. It made me so freaking excited. Like what will life be like in 2040? So cool! Or 2600? Then it made me sad once I accounted my age into the picture. I don’t wanna be 40! and that’s so far away! I hate waiting. 

I’ll end this post on something interesting I noticed. My boyfriend of a year had an eleventh house stellium. After we broke up, I had two guys I was interested in. I was actually quite torn, because they were both so amazing, but so different. One was elegant and familiar with astrology and addiction issues and had money. He was like this worldly man with fantastic package hehe helped cure this mundane “what’s the point?” feeling I had about learning languages and stuff. He made me feel like there was in fact a point to all of it. He’s a scorpio just like me mum and we just had great chemistry. But I was already seeing a nother guy, who was this gentle, down the earth, all around manly man’s man. I loved him, but in a different way. He was simple, but the first time I slept over at his house, he picked me up in this kinda old but kinda new like beat up stick shift hyudai sedan. He reminded me of Wario. But he had an amazing package as well. we mostly just slept though ,and when I slept with him, I felt like I was back in bed with my father when I was like five or seven years old. I already know how that sounds, and I know the childish bunch of you or dommage who lack a healthy relationship with your father if y’ar, are going to come for me and say that’s gross or messed up or perverted or weird. It’s not. I don’t want to fuck my father, I never have, and I never will. I really don’t want to open this can of worms because I could go on about people I’ve met who have been sexually assaulted by their fathers or who have an incest fetish and I’m not trying to shame any of those people. But, I felt like I was back in bed with my father like i was when i was a kid while I was laying with him, and that was a really, really, really good feeling. I never forgot it. He had an aries sun, which I used to hate aries. It was my least favorite sign, and probably still is tbh, along with aquarius LOL. Oh and his moon was in taurus which explained everything. My dad is a taurus sun, as are my two sisters, my grandpa, and one of my good friends, Chelsea. My moon is in virgo in the second house, which is the house of taurus.

Well, mr. fancy pants had an 11th house stellium, and my down to earth sweet S had a third house stellium. Finding these things out did nothing to absolve my confusion, only added to the ache of not knowing which to choose. Talk about love triangle though. It did make me realize why I was in this predicament though, and I suppose it worked out because I don’t really talk to either guy anymore. But The seventh and third houses are also air houses, just like the 11th. 

11th house - Aquarius/uranus, 

7th house - libra/venus, 

3rd house - gemini/mercury

That’s all for tonight. I’m ever behind on french homework, so I oughtta go take care of that. I want to write on the twelfth house, since my sun is in there as well as my father’s, and why I don’t appreciate its doom and gloom persona. If each house correlates to a sign, then the twelfth’s would be house of pisces. Pisces is the last sign with a bad stereotype. At least from my perception, it’s one of the best. So humanistic and kind. So why is its house the house of prison and addictions and psych wards and have all this hubbub, this &thatt?

Au revoir! -K  ý ll

[regrettablewritings]

How They Spend the Quarantine (Tadashi Hamada, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Wade Wilson, Harley Quinn, & Benoit Blanc)

Just a fun (?? is that even responsible to say?) little thing I’ve been thinking about while slogging through this neverending hellscape of an extended lockdown.

Tadashi Hamada

When San Fransokyo was ordered to go into a lockdown, there were mixed feelings.

At first, Tadashi had a hint of optimism that this would mean more time to work on his prospective projects . . . But then he quickly realized that his projects mostly required tools and space offered by the campus. He could technically make do at home, but it wouldn’t quite be the same considering the garage was considered Hiro’s space.

Somberly had to clean out his lab and take whatever he could home.

Cue the rest of the group (sans Fred and Hiro) griping that at least his style of science could travel well enough to be somewhat continued off of university grounds.

Helps do delivery for The Lucky Cat. It helps him get out the house, and it’s simply helpful altogether.

Uses Baymax frequently to make sure everyone down to Mochi is sanitized, and nobody’s running a fever.

Nearly as frequent a sanitizer as Aunt Cass.

He starts most days prepared to be productive, only to stop and poke fun at Hiro, who’s almost always got his eyes trained on a video game.

Tadashi realizes three hours later that he, too, has been playing the game as Player 2.

Learned how to make facial masks with Aunt Cass. He already knew how to sew a little but frankly, making the masks made him realize he could have a new hobby on his hands. He’s currently trying to figure out how to make Mochi a little vest . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

B o r e d. A s. F u c k.

At first, he thinks everyone being forced to go home would work in his favor -- surely some rule-breakers would sneak out and try to bunk up with the Devil, right?

Well . . . Kinda? Once Chloe found out and scolded him about it, the idea died real fast. Plus, he realized he wasn’t quite fond of the possibility of being around someone who could pop up with a disgusting human sickness at any point during their time with him. Smearing their snot all over, coughing into his Egyptian cotton sheets . . . Nope, never mind, he is perfectly content having the penthouse to himself, thank you very much!

Except he’s not.

The poor bastard is going crazy by himself -- he’s just not used to being without some kind of company!

“At least in Hell, you could tell there were people around you based on the screaming!” he’d whine at his phone during his hourly video chat with Chloe.

Oh yes: The video chats. He tries to make them hourly with anyone he can get a hold of (namely, his long-suffering detective) but this clearly never plays out as he would like for it to: If he had it his way, everyone would respond in an instant and let him bounce mainly one-sided conversations off of them -- basically, what he did before all this went down.

What usually winds up happening is he gets hung up on or nobody answers him at all out of sheer annoyance over his clinginess.

Ironically, he’s not exactly crazy about when Amenadiel initiates those “family calls”. He insists it’s healthy and normal for them to do this and even calls Luci out on the hypocrisy, but let’s face it: Lucifer finds it obnoxiously gushy and weird.

He works his way into Linda’s video appointment books to help him cope with his boredom and admitted need for interactions. She doesn’t mind offering him counsel, but once Lucifer starts attempting to butt in during others’ appointment calls, it becomes an issue.

Has, at some point, gotten buzzed down in Lux and streamed himself attempting to pole dance. It drew quite a bit of attention.

He’s managed to gain a bit of a following and some companionship by streaming himself playing piano and singing. It’s not the same thing as having an actual audience, in his opinion, but it will have to do for now.

He’s never been one to binge with regards to TV shows or movies, but after the first week, he decided to binge watch every work action star Wesley Cabot was ever in.

Makes sure his staff still gets paid well. After all, he’s pretty well-off; there’s no need to make an innocent bartender’s life a living hell just because some other rich bastard fucked up, yeah?

Going off this, should he need to order to-go or anything, we already know he tends to tip as handsomely as he looks.

Dewey Finn

Kids were being sent to Horace Green on tuitions worth more than what some people saw in half a year -- of course the school was going to continue classes online!

While technically an afterschool instructor, the program is popular enough for parents to expect it to continue, and for Dewey to be kept on payroll.

Initially, he was pretty smug: He’s one if, if not, the youngest teacher-figure at Horace Green, so surely that means he’s more tech savvy than his older, stiffer coworkers, right? For once, he’s ahead of the curve!

Wrong: Figuring out Zoom was a headache, and then there was the realization of just how dependent his classes were on actual physical presence.

Plus, let’s be real: Dewey’s Internet connection was decent on its own, but craptastic when compared to those of his wealthier students. The lag is strong with this one.

Has definitely accidentally messed up the background on his screen. Somehow wound up with the Beetlejuice background and got so frustrated, he wound up keeping it there for two whole sessions.

In spite of the slight issues regarding lag, they pull through and try to resume lessons as best they can.

Tries to keep optimism by pointing out how this is a new form of entertainment they could be pioneers in.

Some days, it’s just going so wack or everyone’s so bleh that Dewey just assigns for them to watch a music documentary or something.

“Okay, kids, Mr. Finn’s hungover and clearly Summer is the only one who went to bed before 3am. So what I’m gonna have you do is watch . . . Prrrbbbb . . . Amadeus.” “How is Amadeus rock-related?” “It had a rock single, shut up. Anyway, we meet back next class and talk about what we saw, m’kay? M’kay. Over and out.”

Next class, he’s filled with dread as Summer produces an in-depth analysis of the relationship or lack thereof between character and the presence of talent as evidenced by Mozart’s abilities juxtaposed with his immature presentation and -- Dewey just can’t keep up. Sure, Summer, why not?

When he’s not busy teaching, however, he’s using the lockdown to work on some new material. Or just screwing around.

Otherwise, let’s be real, Big Boy’s living the high life in a place of his own: Playing video games (Animal Crossing, recently got back into Team Fortress 2, is trying to finally finish Ocarina of Time); eating a not very great diet; staying up late, napping at weird times; all in the name of quarantine.

If he orders delivery or to-go, he tips the best he can.

Wade Wilson

On one hand, murking never goes on lockdown. But on the other . . . He’s already technically not well, why risk that even with his mutation?

Oh, fuck I just remembered he lives at the X Mansion, never mind turn back turn back oh god give us free --

The situation is tense to say the least. There’s Wade, who’s sensible enough to know why the quarantine is in place . . . and then there’s everyone else, who knows Wade’s full of shit.

And by everyone, I “coincidentally” mean Colossus, Nega Sonic, Yukio, Domino, Cable, and Russ because the already small world of the sequel just got smaller by the fact that everyone is bound to a large but nonetheless single estate whose size has probably decreased from that of the First Class timeline.

You know those videos of the usual Quarantine Characters? Wade is somehow yet still unsurprisingly all of them, save for the frequent sanitizer. He raids the pantry frequently, sleeps at all hours, considers scooting a swivel chair down the halls exercise for the thighs, blasts video games, and so on.

Going back to the sanitizer thing, it’s not that he’s just not exactly known for being tidy. Colossus occasionally does drag him out of bed at a decidedly decent time (read: any time before 11am) to try and get him excited about cleaning up around the mansion, but it rarely ends well. At this point, the safest option is to just remind Wade to wash his hands for 20 seconds as necessary.

Has acquired a Switch and visits everyone’s island, often to bonk them on the head with a net or gift them with weird crap they don’t necessarily want. For the “friends” from Sister Margaret’s, he has somehow acquired their Dodo Codes. Nobody knows how he did this. 

Facetimes Dopinder frequently.

“Precious, you’re the beacon of light in this cold, cruel world.” “I miss you, too, DP --” “Sshshsh! I’m having a moment . . .” *weeps*

On the many occasions he orders delivery, he tips by giving the delivery person something expensive from the mansion that they can sell. Prof. X is loaded, after all. Plus, he more or less isn’t even present in this universe, it’s not like he’s gonna miss anything he can’t see/probably doesn’t even know exists in his house. The problem is, Colossus does exist and does notice and does care when things go missing. Leading to many a delivery person getting caught up in shenanigans at that weird school in the boonies that they either don’t get paid enough to deal with or couldn’t pay to make up.

“Oh, pawn shops are closed?” asks the man who looks like a skinned avocado if avocados had human skin. “Don’t worry, lemme hook you up -- I know some guys --” “DEADPOOOOOLLL!!” roars a Russian accent from inside the house. “WHERE IS THE BRONZE BUST OF THE PROFESSOR!?” The poor delivery person’s eyes widen as they realize that the odd cargo they’ve been presented with apparently holds some value of some kind. But before they can flee, the avocado man blurts, “Shit! Leave the pizza in the bushes, look me up on my Youtube page, byyyeeee!!”

In his defense, Wade does hold up his end of the deal. Much like the Dodo Codes, nobody knows what strings he pulled. They just accept it and move on.

Harley Quinn

Surprisingly compliant.

She’s crazy, not stupid: Staying at home may suck, but what sucks more is making things harder on people who may not fair so well. Besides, she’s spent time in a maximum security prison -- she can handle staying cooped up in her own home. At least home has TV, books, and snacks.

When she hears people are still going out without masks or plotting to have a protest, she strongly considers firing up the old Fun Gun and popping the next sign-carrying Karen she sees with a tit full of cadmium yellow powder.

Seriously, stay the fuck home and fuck up your own hair; this is the perfect time to make mistakes with your looks, it ain’t like you got anywhere to be or anyone to impress.

“STAY THE FUCK HOME, BITCH!” P O W!!! “JUST GO GREY ALREADY, WE ALL KNOW YOUR HAIR AIN’T THAT COLOR ANYMORE, YOU’RE THREE YEARS FROM BEING IN THE GODDAMN AGE-BRACKET!!!” P O W!!!!

Only leaves her new apartment to grab groceries and to take Bruce on a walk. She actually refuses to steal or cause a scene during this shitshow because she may be a bad guy, but she sure ain’t evil.

So far, there haven’t been complaints about the fact that she’s walking a hyena down a public street. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly anyone out? Maybe it’s because Gothamites just can’t be bothered to be fazed by it . . . Or maybe it’s because she made him a little mask for his snout.

“In this house, we wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, kid.”

Lets the forest reclaim the earth, so to speak. She was never really shaving anything for anyone but herself before, but now it just seems especially pointless.

Spends almost every day in a kigurumi. To give her a semblance of routine, she has a pink bear one she calls her “Sunday Suit.” She doesn’t know it’s not Sunday because the days just blur but Cass just doesn’t have the heart to tell her; she seemed so proud of herself . . .

Like everyone else, she’s gotten Animal Crossing. She’s trying to create an all-preppy island with a few exceptions (Astrid = Aesthetic, m’kay?)

Tips nicely when ordering delivery.

Benoit Blanc

As young and spry in nature as the gentleman sleuth would like to think of himself, he would really rather not test the dangers of the situation and go about all foolhardy -- he’s staying home!

In theory, it’s only logical and therefore perfectly fine. But in practice . . . God, he wishes he’d invested more in things to occupy himself with when home.

It wasn’t that Benoit was never home, he just never felt too much of a need to invest in a fancy entertainment center -- the fanciest he ever got was an iHome.

The beginning of the quarantine served as the perfect time for him to read over case files, catch up on paperwork, even catch up on some reading he’d been putting on hold since God knows when due to cases popping up left and right. But that dried up quicker than he’d assumed, and that’s when he was faced with what a man of his mind dreads the most: Boredom.

Finally caved and decided to hook up Amazon Fire.

Expected to use the one-month free trial on Netflix and be just fine but once the lockdown in his area got extended and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to catch up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at this rate, he caves even further and buys a subscription.

Fully delights at the influx of platforms uploading Broadway recordings; when The Show Must Go On put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, followed by The Phantom of The Opera, it was a treat, I tell you!

Sanitizes often, despite hardly ever leaving his house besides to have a smoke or to go grab groceries. Honestly, it’s less about cleaning at this point so much as it is finding something to occupy his focus when he feels there’s nothing else to so.

Takes zinc after every meal to help lessen the intensity of any ailment that might hit him.

Definitely owns a facemask. There’s a good chance it’s from Marta or one of his relatives, and there’s another good chance the pattern is as flamboyant as his clothing. He’s delighted.

Benoit tries not to rely too much on delivery,  as he’d much rather just cook. On the rare occasion where tipping comes up, however, he gives as generously as he can.

Bonus: There’s a slight chance he might have acquired a companion to foster early on in the quarantine. Benoit hadn’t had a pet since childhood, a crime of which he was admittedly melancholic of his own involvement. However, his surprisingly busy lifestyle just wouldn’t suit a four-legged friend, now could it?

Well, now there’s time to. Besides, it would certainly ease the potential feeling of loneliness to have someone or something with whom he could interact with.

Admittedly, when shelters began encouraging people to invest time in taking home a companion, he’d been looking more for a comrade on the canine side of the spectrum -- but darn, if Duke wasn’t a handsome cat.

A lovely grey-and-white cat with eyes that matched his own, Duke has become the one Benoit monologues to (because in all honesty, the man is a performer at heart, in need of an audience to speak his mind to and portray a thought before). Plus, he doesn’t appear to mind it when Benoit finds himself belting out in tone-deaf notes to showtunes while washing the dishes: The mark of a true companion.

At this rate, he’s probably not going to keep fostering Duke when things calm down -- he’s probably going to just straight up adopt him.

Stay safe & healthy!

[imagine-fight-write]

RANDOM - Banana Fish Review, Vol. 1, Part Four

(This was one of my fav gifs looking for gifs of Shorter.)

*There will be pictures/gifs included tomorrow, because this is already late & loading them is taking forever, for some reason.

Haha, no, I actually prettied it up 1/5/21. Yes, I’m glorious.

No I’m actually Dio DIO in this situation, who am I kidding.

(This transition from Caesar to Dio fascinates me, by the way.) (The GIF.)

The JOJO reference is because I’ve finally finished Diamond is Unbreakable! It was fun! I enjoyed it a lot! Ready for the next part!

But back to Banana Fish.

Hope you enjoy this!

So my plans failed again. Who is surprised? (Not me.)

I apologize profusely for the gaping void of Banana Fish-ness left since last I posted.

No really. I now have an alarm set for every Wednesday.

Let’s see how this goes. News Update: Maybe next time.

Also, my internet is still blitzy & rotten, otherwise I would’ve posted this yesterday (the 15th).

Now on to the in-depth, delighted gushing - er, review, of Banana Fish!

*Also, this is part 4, and 4 is a special number for me. Because of this guy:

And I can spell his name correctly!!! (It’s Ulquiorra, from Bleach, my 1st anime fan gushing love.)

Yes, I’m strange. Moving on.

So, brief recap, since I’m not sure anyone has read Part 3, given how terrifyingly long it is. If you missed it, here’s the link:

https://imagine-fight-write.tumblr.com/post/632014616404344832/random-banana-fish-review-vol-1-part-3-my

Please love & like it & repost to the rest of the Web. I worked tremendously hard on it.

Yes it’s long, but oh, it was delightful! There was snark! Delicious food! Wine! Fabulous mustaches! Mysteries! I gushed so much!

(And snarled at the wonton waste of good breakfast food, which I will not forget & always condemn.)

*I mean, I know people who will throw up if they have breakfast in the morning. But it’s important to eat so you have energy to do things & feel good.

And Dino took a perfectly beautiful breakfast & essentially wasted it for no good reason. I was so mad.

We meet Dino Golzine, a.k.a., Ash’s worst nemesis /enemy (note, I can’t spell nemesis) and major reason for why his life sucks.

(Although society doesn’t help either. Though the police try. They really do. Except what’s his face who’s complete scum & thoughtless, but we won’t meet him til Vol. 2. Plus I don’t think he has a name?)

But yes, Dino Golzine. All around awful person, and not safe around children (or anyone, really.) He’s low-key in this scene, mostly using verbal assaults (to great effect) but just you wait. There’s a reason he’s a mob boss.

Ash snarks, to great effect, but he’s no match. Dino has all the cards and all the dice (cards & dice being metaphors for power, & how he involves awful, painful memories of Ash’s past & tries to manipulate & order him around. Brrr.)

But Ash rallies, and ultimately refuses returning to be Dino’s heir / toy.

We meet Shorter! Huzzah!

(End of recap.)

It’s clear right away Shorter & Ash are old friends. They exchange quips about Marvin. We learn Marvin holds a mean grudge, so savvy readers can guess it’ll come to play later (it does.)

Shorter’s last line is strange.

“Just don’t put me in the position of having to kill you.”

Which is kinda out of the blue. I don’t know what to make of it. It doesn’t spoil or fore-shadow anything (unless in a very confused, round-about way) because that never happens later. So I’m confused.

Ash laughs it off and goes zooming off on his motor-bike / motorcycle (not sure which).

Note, from this short scene we already learn Shorter has his own sources of information - he knows Ash went to Dino’s, fast enough to be there before their conversation ended (unless he was just lucky to be there already  - why was he there?). He already knows about Ash’s talk with Marvin, with enough detail to warn Ash about Marvin’s temper & that Marvin likes him, which is a bad combination.

Shorter is smart & cares about his friends, warning Ash about Marvin. 

Aren’t friends great?

Especially after meeting such a dominating if soft spoken monster like Dino?

The answer is yes.

Next, we get this hilariously great shot of Ash running up the steps to his dingy apartment (pg. 47.)

 It’s reminiscent for me of a scene in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Part 1, when Jonathan & Dino have their epic fight in the Joestar mansion.

There’s a part where Jonathan does this epic flip up to a second floor via sword (it’s epic) & it ends with this a few-seconds-longer-than it-needs-to-be shot of his butt. You can’t miss it. I’m usually oblivious to such things & I noticed it. I laugh every single time.

Anyway, back to Banana Fish.

(The atmosphere of grunginess (it’s not a word, I meant dirty, ugly, rough) & spartan furniture is great. Just look at those walls. I adore it. 

(But would never want to live there.) Ash is clearly not rich & after Dino’s rich mansion, this is a stark contrast.

Also, there are no pictures or posters on the walls (which are festooned with dirt and cracks instead.) In fact, there’s almost nothing in terms of personal effects at all.

This baffles me. I mean yes, I assume they’re all dirt poor, living in a gang & working for the mafia on the side isn’t something you do for the luxuries. But surely they’d have something.

Or maybe it has something to do with Japanese decorating aesthetics? Meaning, Japanese appear to be more spartan than Americans in terms of decor (see the book, In Praise of Shadows, for example.) 

* I can’t spell aesthetics. Why do I even use that word?

The apartment just looks extremely bare compared to others I’ve seen in movies depicting this era. Is what I’m saying.

Look at those bare walls. (It hurts me.)

Thoughts? Comments on how Japanese, Americans, and Europeans differ in basic decorating styles? Comment below!

Also remember as always, Banana Fish is both set & was written in the 1980’s, well before the “modern” style we have now.

Unless - wait. There is something very important to Ash which he’s clearly hiding in the apartment he goes to, which I assume only Skip & select members know about.

So maybe this isn’t actually Ash’s main base, where he sleeps & hangs out?

Yes, that must be it.

If you’re confused, I’ll explain once we get done with this section.

Moving on.

We meet Skip!!!! (Pg.47)

Black characters (and Latino) are still, alas, extremely rare in manga, anime, & other media, so all the cheers for including Skip so early & as such an important character.

Because Skip is very important. For multiple reasons. More on that later. Also note, 1 of the gang members Ash busts earlier is also black.

Again, the dialogue is great here between Ash & Skip, establishing Ash’s trust in him. Which is no small thing.

Skip is like Shorter, (agh, both their names start with S) sweet, but also has a nose for news.

Arthur’s going to get it, hah!

There’s yet another reference to it being early.

Though there’s no specific time mentioned . . . Nope, not since Ash found the poor, dying banana fish dude.

Does Ash usually sleep in? Is he a night owl? He was wandering around at 1 in the morning last night, after all.

*Yes, technically it was early morning, but it was still dark, so bite me.

But then, he was also suspicious & keeping tabs on his 2 gang members. So, who knows.

But I’m going to guess he’s a night owl.

Ash sits on the bed, and after Skip mentions everything is good, “him, too”.

 Ash gives his 1st real, genuine smile. Gentle, relieved, no hard edges. Just pure happiness & relief. It’s sweet.

(Also, I just realized the “him, too” is supposed to be a surprise / shock for the reader & I spoiled it earlier. I do apologize.)

Skip offers to get coffee but Ash declines, deciding to nap, which reminds me:

Actually, drinking coffee before you take a nap can, for some people, actually make you sleep better.

Also, short cat naps (15-30mins) can boost your energy and mood.

Naps are good for you!

I almost wondered if the comics Skip had on the table might’ve been manga, but remembered it was the 1980’s and, far as I know, manga wasn’t big the U.S. yet. Alas!

Which is funny if you think about this being in a manga.

Skip goes to leave. Ash puts his hand in his pocket and gets this intense, almost fierce expression on his face (middle panel, pg. 48).

I was absolutely baffled by this reaction for a long time, but finally figured it out. Ash’s reaction is supposed to be baffling, because what he realizes right here will be revealed in the next few pages.

Skip, concerned, asks what’s up, but Ash brushes him off and sends him off to buy coffee. (After which I sincerely hope he takes a nap, because he needs one, he’s been up all night.) Sleep is good for you!

Skip is able to buy coffee with a single coin. A single coin.

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

All my tears, and curses on inflation and overpriced coffee! And Starbucks!

Anyway, we learn Arthur’s going to get it (and Skip is the best spy ever) and the scene cuts to:

Our favorite person (not) Dino Golzine, tending his orchids.

I like this. It’s a rather unique hobby for a villian. I assume to give him a refined, elegant, and exact air.

He’s interrupted by Angie & his fabulous mustache (snickers) and this delightfully comic scientist person (who might be important later? The face sameness makes it difficult to judge, & I’m too lazy to consult my other volumes, which are not close by.)

But his entrance is priceless (pg. 50). I mean seriously, please go find it if you haven’t already. It’s dramatic, with a big WHAM! & he looks so cartoonish. 

I love it.

Dino tells him, essentially, “don’t disturb my orchids” and me being an non-gardner person, I wonder: is it actually true loud noises can disturb flowers?

Comment below!

Anyway, Dino quickly establishes yes, he did send Ash’s gang members to kill the poor banana fish guy who started this whole mystery, and yes, it was important.

There’s a great panel (pg. 51) of scientist dude, drawn much less comedic, the whole panel black except for a white aura around him sweating and clearly in distress.

He whispers, “It - it’s gone.”

Dino snaps to attention with a leonine look, exactly like a cat who has just spotted another cat. It’s easily my favorite picture of Dino so far, very striking.

The dialogue is brilliant and snappy, short and direct.

“What is gone? . . . You’re positive? . . . Just a small amount.”

And we get the grand reveal:

Ash, taking out a bullet shaped capsule (was the shape intentional by Yoshida?). A capsule he’d clearly taken from the dying banana fish guy. There’s a great panel on the bottom of pg. 52 of Ash’s questioning expression and a ?

He unscrews the capsule and pulls out a tiny vial.

Thinks of the address the dying banana fish guy gave him.

Ash goes into the next room, where we see the silhouette of someone sitting with a plaid blanket draped across their knees.

He expresses his first real look of vulnerability, and gives a wonderful line:

“Go see . . . Banana fish . . . He said it and died. And you say it and you might as well be dead. Who did this to you? Griff . . . Please tell me, big brother.”

Everything clicks together (almost.)

Griff /Griffin is the soldier shown way back in the very beginning. The one who left for a few minutes and came back insane and shot up his squad.

Who’s now a human vegetable.

Banana fish is clearly responsible. Somehow.

And Dino is mixed in with it (of course). Pieces are coming together, but questions still remain.

Until next time!

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 83)

"Snoozing Through Sayreville"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@crystalbaby12

In Sam's room, Luna wastes no time. Popping two bars herself, she hands two to her friend. They've spent many early mornings like this. Coming back to homebase and rounding down from an AllNighter together.

Luna showers first. She feels like hot horse shit. Still catching trails in the bathroom, she washes the grit from last night off of her.

Leaning under the water, she wishes her skin could absorb it's hydration. They've only been on tour for 10 days but Luna's exhausted. Her body physically hurts, her brain feels like mush and she's emotionally wiped out. The constant fighting, traveling, drinking and drug use starting to take it's toll.

Once out of the shower, she tosses on panties, a tank and a hotel robe. Climbing into the queen sized bed, she rolls up a handful of joints as Sam showers.

Curling up together, Luna fires up a joint as Sam finds something for them to watch. Looking at her friend, she asks if She's Okay.

Exhaling out a cloud of smoke, Luna says "Yeah. I just need a hard reset." To Sam's nod of understanding.

Mrs. Doubtfire is own. It's one of their favorite movies. Getting high, laughing and enjoying each other's company. Luna's thankful for Sam's companionship as the two girls snuggle into bed. Quickly falling asleep. Knocking out for the rest of the day.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson does no such thing. Still pissed and now even more confused by Luna, he can't sleep. He's out of coke and doesn't know what to do with himself. Not thinking to grab any Xanax off of his bitchy girlfriend.

With everyone checked into their rooms, Colson heads back to The Bus. Cracking a beer at 9A instead of sleeping, he plays NBA2K19 until he passes out with the controller in his hands.

-------------------------------------------------

Ashleigh finds him around 430P. Waking him up, he's miserable.

"Leave me the fuck alone. Unless it's 7P, don't fucking bother me." He grumbles, walking to the back of The Bus.

Dropping face first into the bed, all he smells is Luna. His dick twitches and heart hurts as he reaches his arm out, over her empty space.

"What the fuck are we doin', Loons..." He thinks, wishing she wasn't so stubborn and him not an Asshole. Wanting her next to him more than anything in this world.

For once his brain refuses to slide down the 16 million different hallways of Hotel Diablo. Falling back asleep as he holds a pillow. Pretending it's smell is Luna.

-------------------------------------------------

Ashleigh knocks on Sam's door next. Knowing its more likely for her than Sam, Luna gets up. Sam snoozing away.

She's groggy and unhappy but isn't nearly as intolerable as Colson. Probably because she believes in sleep. Greeting Ashleigh, Luna yawns, asking What Time Is It.

It's around 5-530P.

Stretching long, Luna motions Ashleigh to sit with her on the couch. Wrapped in a blanket, she lights a joint and asks her What's Up.

"Couple things...." Ashleigh begins. "You okay?" She asks to Luna's nod.

Luna takes a deep hit. Appreciating Ashleigh's concern.

Exhaling, she says "Yeah, I just need a minute to myself.... Sorry you got left with that nonsense last night." Luna apologizes as she hits the joint again.

Ashleigh grins. "You'd be proud of me. I'm pretty sure I got anyone who saw anything to sign a NDA. Even Bleta. I was gonna contact Monica on your behalf but wanted to talk to you first."

There's a lot of things said in that one sentence. It takes Luna's fuzzy mind a second to understand them all.

"OH WOW!! You did that for me?" She grins back at Ashleigh, touched by her actions. "Look at you go, Girl! Thank you!" Luna reaches to hug her friend.

That's when it hits her.

"Wait... What do you mean Bleta?" She asks as her whole facial expression changes.

Not realizing Luna doesn't know who BeBe Rexha is personally, she panics at her words.

"Yeah, Loons. That's who you hit last night..." She says cautiously.

"He had Bleta at the fucking show!?" The Ring of Fire is wild in Luna's eyes.

"No.. No.. No.. SHE told ME, he didn't know she was there until he seen her..." Ashleigh's trying not to make things worse.

Sighing before she hits the joint again. Luna shakes her head with a Whatever. Her and Ashleigh sit quietly for a moment.

"He didn't know, Loons." Ashleigh tries to comfort her.

"I know...." Luna closes her eyes as she exhales another cloud of smoke. "Fuck her. I'll call Mon and let her know what I did. She'll probably want the NDA's..." Luna looks at Ashleigh. "Thank you, Ash. Really. You didn't have to stick your neck out for me like that. It means a lot." Reaching to hug her again.

"It's no problem, Loons. You're family." She hugs her back, pulling away, she laughs. "Besides, I learned it from you."

This makes Luna smile. Hitting the last of the joint, she puts it out.

"Tell me about Diddy and Massachusetts." Luna says, changing the subject.

Ashleigh goes on to explain how it's seeming to be a domestic dispute. Some guy tossed a Moltav cocktail because his Ex was there with someone else.

"Fucking seriously?" Luna asks in disbielf.

Shaking her head, she reaches for another joint. Ashleigh noticing for the first time that Luna smokes just as much as Colson. If not more.

Luna goes on to ask about casualties. Ashleigh replying that about a hundred people received smoke inhalation. In a building with over 4K people in it, That's Amazing, they agree. Luna thinks for a minute as she hits the joint.

"All fans?" She asks to Ashleigh's nod. "You know what I'd do?" Luna exhales again.

"Nope, but I want to!" She replies, making them both laugh.

"Find out exactly who the victims are, collect enough merch and have him sign it. Along with a personalized Get Well note.." Luna says as she continues to hit the joint.

"How are you so fucking business savvy??" Ashleigh asks her in awe.

Smiling, Luna acknowledges how she has a collective village of teachers. From all different ranges and walks of life.

Finishing up, Luna walks Ashleigh to the door. She's gonna see what she can get started on with this merch idea.

"So, we won't see you tonight?" Ashleigh asks her.

"Nah... Probably not. I'm taking the day." Luna says as she hugs Ashleigh before shutting the door.

"Who's Bleta?" Sam groans from under the covers.

"She has so many freaking questions..." Luna thinks, rolling her eyes.

-------------------------------------------------

Colson's still frustrated before the show. Trying not to take his shit out on anyone else, he finds a cinderblock outside. With it resting on his thighs, he does backwards pushes ups off the seat of a chair.

"I can't believe she's not fucking coming..." He thinks to himself, irritated. He misses Luna and wants to stop fighting with her. "I gotta talk to her after the show.... I still wanna know why the Fuck she was with Tommy." He feels the jealousy rise again as he pumps his upper body off the edge of the chair.

--------------------------------------------------

Sam and Luna are sitting on the balcony of her room. Luna smoking a cigarette.

Trying to relax, enjoying the light air as she sketches. It's an interpretation of what she feels from last night.

Sam playing around on her phone. Falling down an internet wormhole as she lights a joint.

Once Ashleigh left, Luna and Sam had sat together talking about her and Colson and getting high. For the first time ever, Luna told someone other than Colson about Tommy. If Sam is going to form an opinion on Colson, Luna wants it to be based on all the facts. Sam was only slightly surprised at the news of Luna's affair. Looking back, certain things making sense to her about Luna at certain times that didn't before. They talked about Bleta and how Luna didn't realize it was her. Sam asking if it made any difference. Looking down, Luna had touched her homemade ring before stating No. She's not worried about any other girls. Especially THAT one.

"Oh Fuck, Loons... You're gonna be pissed...." Sam says handing Luna her phone.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"MACHINE GUN KELLY AND GIRLFRIEND, THAT BROOKLYN BITCH TO BE WED AT RAPPER'S OHIO FESTIVAL IN AUGUST"

"Musician Machine Gunn Kelly, also known as MGK, is kicking his latest tour off with a bang! Last night in his girlfriend, That Brooklyn Bitch's hometown of NY, MGK surprised his fans after performing their hit single Bad Things together at the PlayStation Theatre. Revealing that he would be marrying the songstress this summer. Some considering this announcement shockingly quick. The couple have only been spotted together since late April. The New York native first appearing on The Dirt star's SnapStories and Instagram during his birthday party in LA. Surprisingly, that doesn't seem to be the biggest bang of the night. One source reporting that, the beef between That Brooklyn Bitch and BeBe Rexha is alive and well. The two Brooklyn residents having come for each other on the charts already, over what is assumed to be their relationships with the heavily tattooed, rapper turned actor. Reportedly, the fued spilled out into a scene BackStage after the concert last night. "It wasn't in BeBe's favor." The source from the performance stating."

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"THIS. Is what I was talking about last night in the cab." Luna sighs. She hands Sam her phone. "I'm going back to bed."

Is almost eight o'clock at night.

-------------------------------------------------

Tonight, they're playing the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ.

For the most part, Colson can put his shit on the back burner and do his job. That's what he does tonight.

Letting Slim and Sex Drive hype the crowd, Colson stops being Colson, or Kells or even Dad. Becoming Machine Gun Kelly.

"WHAT'S GOOD, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!" He screams walking out on to the stage to his adoring fans.

Starting off with the normal formula of Habits, Breaking News 2 and El Diablo. Colson jumps, dances and kicks around the stage as him and The Band tear through Loco, GTS, and Wild Boy. Skipping Let You Go and Bad Things.

Trap Paris and The Break Up replace them. Followed by I'm Think I'm Okay, Hollywood Whore and Candy. Choosing to keep all the original lyrics.

Rook shines as always during Shout At The Devil. The crowd going wild for him.

They still have another eleven songs left to the set. MGK keeps pushing.

-------------------------------------------------

Luna wakes back up around 930P. Sam's up, diddling around. Missing Colson, Luna asks her if she wants to hit the show.

Grinning, Sam nods Yes.

Looking at the clock, they move fast and get dressed. Sam ordering an uber. Luna throwing on a back, lace crop top, cutoffs, Docs, and a flannel around her waist with blazing red lips.

Grabbing her leather and bag, Luna and Sam are out the door. Luna's golden hair loosley floating behind them as Sam's brunette locks weave along with it.

-------------------------------------------------

As the room cheers and lights explode around them, The Band continues on. See Through My Tears, Rap Devil, Till I Die, Golden God, Alpha Omega, and Lately come next.

With this leg's setlist pretty secure, they round out with Bad Motherfucker, Wake&Bake, Rehab, 27 and Sail.

The Band thinks they're done as Colson stands alone on stage with only his guitar. Everyone quiets as he begins to pick out unknown chords.

"I don't know if you guys'll know this but, I'm... You know what, Fuck it. I just wanna sing this shit right now." He says to the audience. Turning to The Band, he says "Imma do this on my own." To their confused nods.

He starts to play the base melody of a song he's been featured on. It's original tone is poppy with a lot of studio tech. To figure it out raw, OnStage alone, is pretty intimidating.

Colson takes his time. He's in no rush. Feeling like he's got it, he begins. Opening at the end of the chorus by The Vamps, Colson voice is deep and melodic. It carries a hint of vulnerability.

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

He closes his eyes as he thinks of Luna and where he wants to start.

🎶I don't go to church🎶

🎶Cuz your my religion🎶

🎶I'm hung on your words🎶

🎶Given' me something🎶

🎶To believe in🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

The feeling of the song is showcased against only his guitar and demeanour. He mixes and changes the lyrics to fit how he feelings. Voice crawling over the words.

🎶Kitten, I know you don't lie🎶

🎶When you say🎶

🎶That you mine🎶

🎶I can't look in those eyes🎶

🎶Without fallen'🎶

🎶A thousand times🎶

🎶Just wanna hear you testify🎶

🎶Kitten, tell me you don't lie🎶

🎶When you say🎶

🎶That you'll be mine🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

Wishing Luna was where she should be. Sitting next to him. His voice slightly breaking through the chorus.

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

His guitar humming his pain.

Thinking of how hollow his lyrics were when he wrote them, he kicks them out now. Thoughts drifting to their new meaning.

🎶I shut down for you//I go in//I dove in//And drown in you//They should be crowning you//Cuz//You're way to good to be true//Hold up, hold up//Ay//Please don't hesitate//Take me//While there's still something//Left to take//Kitty you're all that I crave//Tell me how many days//Do I have to chase you//Do I have to chase//Before you let me//Let me taste you//Before I can say//All I wanna say//To you//Is//I can't escape//I cannot escape from you🎶

Looking over SideStage, he sees her. Doing a double take. "Holy Fuck, she came." He can't help but feel his eyes begin to sting with tiny tears. That first cosmic boner appearing again.

🎶Kitten...You are way too good to be true🎶

He says as grins at her as they make eye contact.

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

🎶You way too good to be true🎶

Colson finishes serenading Luna to the crowds sweet Awws.

------------------------------------------------

Colson and Luna head back to the hotel. Holding hands in the uber the whole ride. Grabbing her things from Sam's room, he guides her to theirs. They need to talk.

"Sit with me, please." She directs him, patting the bed.

Sitting next to her, he sighs. Colson knows Luna is about to rip into him. They've been fighting on and off over bullshit for the last few days. She turns to him, lacing her fingers in his. Always choosing her words wisely.

"I went to see Tommy yesterday because I own properties that he's invested in. It's something Monica ran between us for a long time until I seen him a couple weeks ago. Like I told you, he started texting me. I took being in The City as an opportunity to let him know that if things can't go back to strictly business, then there will be NO business...." Luna explains.

Colson's quiet for a moment. He wants to ask what she does for Tommy but Luna's a lot calmer then he had expected. He's pretty sure he knows the answer and doesn't wanna push fighting with her.

"As for Em..." Luna continues, she's hitting everything. "We were friends. And I say were because I'm pretty we're not anymore, which, it is what it is...." Luna looks Colson in his beautiful blue eyes. "I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about YOU.... Why are you still so hellbent that I'm out here doggen' you?" She asks.

Colson lays back on the bed. Sighing, he rubs his face. Luna lays next to him on her back. They stare at the ceiling together.

"I'm sorry about Bleta." He finally speaks. "I swear I didn't know she would be there. I should've told her to leave. I wasn't gonna do anything. I was jealous though and wanted to piss you off." He turns his head to look at her.

"I know...." Luna sighs, running her fingers through his blonde hair.

He rolls over to her, placing his arm around her waist. She can see remorse all over his face.

"I should've never shoved you either. I don't know what I was thinking..." He looks down with shame.

Colson doesn't believe in putting his hands on women. Never wanting to hurt Luna in any way. Especially physically.

"That was some dick shit..." She agrees as he looks up at her.

"I know... I'm fucked up. I just, sometimes I feel like you're gonna figure out that I'm not good enough for you..." He trails off, Luna watching his eyes well.

Luna pushes him onto his back as she climbs on top of him. Random blonde hairs dangling down and brushing his face. She kisses him sweetly on both cheeks.

Looking into his eyes, she reminds him how only his actions can make him lose her. He tells her, that's his biggest fear. Fucking shit up as usual.

"Bunny... We're both two fucked up souls living in a fish bowl... stuck on your counter in LA." She winks to his smirk. "We're always gonna be crazy. We're always gonna be jealous. It's because we're stupid in love with each other. I don't care that we fight. As long as we come back to this." She flicks her fingers between them.

Colson lifts up to run his hands alongside Luna's head, pulling her in for a kiss. His touch is electric. Making a flash of warmth run through her. She kisses him back as her hands roam down his body.

Taking each other's shirts off, Colson flips Luna onto her back. Kissing her all over her neck, she has on no bra. Moving down her chest, to her breasts and nipples, he slides a hand down Luna's shorts. Running his fingers along her bare pussy. Slowly dipping them inside of her to her moans.

"I missed you." He tells her as he sucks on her neck.

"Me too. So much." She agrees as she moves his mouth to hers.

Wiggling out of her shorts. He unbuttons and steps out of his. Gazing down at Luna's naked, tattooed body.

Climbing on top of her, he slowly guides himself inside her pussy. They rarely fuck missionary style. Letting the touch of each other consume them, Luna and Colson are delicate with each other. Another rarity.

"God, you feel so fucking good." He moans.

Taking slow, deep strokes inside of her. Luna's leg is wrapped around his waist, the other around his calf as she lifts her hips. Pulling him deeper into her.

Feeling close, their pace picks up. Kisses sloppier. Moans loader.

Gripping his skin as he kisses her mouth, Colson asks if she's ready. Luna pants out Yes as he places his hand on her throat.

Bucking hard against him, Luna's eyes roll back in her head as Colson slides into Home. Both of them cumming all over the other.

Breathing heavily, Colson lays on her chest, wrapping his himself around her tiny body. Happy to have her back in his bed and in his arms.

"I love you." He tells her, kissing her collarbone. She hums a satisfied Me Too.

Lifting off of her, he asks if Luna's hunger. Realizing she hasn't eaten all day, she responds with a Starving.

They order room service. Burgers, fries, pineapples and champagne.

Sipping on champagne after they've eaten. They snuggle up together. Enjoying the quiet moment away from the tour.

"I'm sorry I'm so fucked up." Colson turns to Luna apologizing again. He spins his finger around the top of his head like a halo. "Hotel Diablo..." He says.

"You should get that tatted on there." Luna laughs, slightly mocking him.

Eyes lighting up, he runs with it. "Yeah?" He asks.

Luna shrugs and asks "Why not?"

Nodding his head, the doors begin to unlock inside Hotel Diablo. Pulling her close for an amused kiss, he calls her a genius.

"An evil one." She laughs, kissing him back.

"Even better!" He beams while tickling her.

They spend the rest of the night in bed together. Getting high as they giggle. Making out as they watch Talladega Nights.

"She really is mine." Colson thinks as Luna lays on his chest. He can see his ring on her finger and feel his lock around her neck touching his skin. A wave of relief washes over him. Never being in love before and always feeling abandoned, Colson holds Luna a little tighter. He knows in his heart that she'd never willingly leave him without a fierce fight.

Colson sweetly makes love to Luna again before they fall asleep tangled in each other. Both relieved to be back with the other. Each hating when they're apart.

------------------------------------------------

To be continued....

[achrisstevenson]

The Illustrious Wendy Van Camp Interview!

Author Interview: Chris J. Breedlove

October 23, 2019

Wendy Van Camp

2 Comments

I asked Author Chris Breedlove what his motto for being a writer was.  He answered:

A Writer is… A humble, receptive student and negotiator But the heart that beats within his/her breast Is a determined savage Unfamiliar with surrender

Please welcome this savvy science fiction author to No Wasted Ink.

My name is Chris Harold Stevenson and I’m 67 years young. I go by the pen name Christy J. Breedlove for my YA books and stories. Yes, I changed gender entirely. That’s another story.

My early writing accomplishment were multiple hits within a few years: In my first year of writing back in 1987, I wrote three SF short stories that were accepted by major slick magazines which qualified me for the Science Fiction Writers of America, and at the same time achieved a Finalist award in the L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future Contest. This recognition garnered me a top gun SF agent at the time, Richard Curtis Associates. My first novel went to John Badham (Director) and the producers, the Cohen Brothers. Only an option, but an extreme honor. The writer who beat me out of contention for a feature movie was Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park. My book was called Dinothon.

A year after that I published two best-selling non-fiction books and landed on radio, TV, in every library in the U.S. and in hundreds of newspapers.

I have been trying to catch that lightning in a bottle ever since. My YA dystopian novel, The Girl They Sold to the Moon won the grand prize in a publisher’s YA novel writing contest, went to a small auction and got tagged for a film option. So, My latest release is Sceamcatcher: Web World, and it’s showing some promise. I’m getting there, I hope!

When did you first consider yourself a writer?

I considered myself a writer when I published the two shorts in Amazing Stories magazine. I actually considered myself an author after my first non-fiction book was published and hit the media. It seems I had to have legitimate credits in order to claim such status.

Can you share a little about your current book with us?

I can give you the basic summary, or the extended blurb:

When seventeen-year-old Jory Pike cannot shake the hellish nightmares of her parent’s deaths, she turns to an old family heirloom, a dream catcher. Even though she’s half-blood Chippewa, Jory thinks old Native American lore is so yesterday, but she’s willing to give it a try. However, the dream catcher has had its fill of nightmares from an ancient and violent past. After a sleepover party, and during one of Jory’s most horrific dream episodes, the dream catcher implodes, sucking Jory and her three friends into its own world of trapped nightmares. They’re in an alternate universe—locked inside of an insane web world filled with murders, beasts, and thieves. How can they find the center of the web where all good things are allowed to pass? Where is the light of salvation? Are they in hell?

What inspired you to write this book?

It all started with a dream catcher. This iconic item, which is rightfully ingrained in Indian lore, is a dream symbol respected by the culture that created it. It is mystifying, an enigma that that prods the imagination. Legends about the dream catcher are passed down from multiple tribes. There are variations, but the one fact that can be agreed upon is that it is a nightmare entrapment device, designed to sift through evil thoughts and images and only allow pleasant and peaceful dreams to enter into the consciousness of the sleeper.

I wondered what would happen to a very ancient dream catcher that was topped off with dreams and nightmares. What if the nightmares became too sick or deathly? What if the web strings could not hold any more visions? Would the dream catcher melt, burst, vanish, implode? I reasoned that something would have to give if too much evil was allowed to congregate inside of its structure. I found nothing on the Internet that offered a solution to this problem—I might have missed a relevant story, but nothing stood out to me. Stephen King had a story called Dream Catcher, but I found nothing in it that was similar to what I had in mind. So I took it upon myself to answer such a burning question. Like too much death on a battlefield could inundate the immediate location with lost and angry spirits, so could a dream catcher hold no more of its fill of sheer terror without morphing into something else, or opening up a lost and forbidden existence. What would it be like to be caught up in another world inside the webs of a dream catcher, and how would you get out? What would this world look like? How could it be navigated? What was the source of the exit, and what was inside of it that threatened your existence? Screamcatcher: Web World, the first in the series, was my answer. I can only hope that I have done it justice.

Do you have a specific writing style?

I’m a fruit salad of other known writer’s influences. Oh, like what I consider stylists: Poul Anderson, Virgin Planet, Peter Benchley, The Island and Jaws, Joseph Wambaugh, The Onion Field and Black Marble, Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park, Alan Dean Foster, Icerigger trilogy, and some Stephen King. Anne Rice impresses with just about anything she has written. I think it’s the humor and irony that attracts me the most–and it’s all character-related

How did you come up with the title of this book?

After I had the idea/premise for the book, having researched similar works, if any, I found that I had something very unique. It dawned on me to name the book Screamcatcher since it was a play on words and it sounded impactful. Again, I researched that word and only found that it was used in a short story about a kid having a tooth extraction. I knew then that I was home free. I was continuously complimented by all of the publishers and editors who saw the title. It’s the first book in the series, and I have sub-titles for the other two as well, which are sold and just about ready for editing.

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

I’m not very heavy-handed when it comes to delivering messages in my books. I want to avoid any preaching at all costs. I do include the basic/standard survival, loyalty, courage and persistence themes in my young characters, as well as emotional growth and cooperation. I did hide, or rather include, a very deep and subtle message in the story that I think most will gloss over or not recognize altogether. And that is my belief that sometimes the nice guy finishes first and gets the gal. I wanted something that swerved away from the controlling, domineering alpha male that is so often seen in other works of YA and romance. I wanted a slow burn sweet romance that was touching. Quite a few reviewers recognized this message and I got kudos for it. That was a RELIEF.

Are experiences in this book based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

The main character Jorlene (Jory) is named after my sister. Although she does not resemble the FMC physically, she does so in an emotional sense. Her boyfriend, Choice Daniels, is named after my great-nephew. All of my books contain the names of my extended family members. And there are parts of them that show through in the personalities of the fictional characters.

What authors have most influenced your life? What about them do you find inspiring?

Other than those stylists mentioned above, I had direct contact with members of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America. Alan Dean Foster, Richard Curtis, Robert Bloch, Bob Heinlein, Clive Barker, and others. From their Youtube instruction videos and articles, JK Rowling, Anne Rice, and Stephen King have inspired me tremendously with their no-nonsense attitude about hammering those keys in spite of depression, lack of motivation or pure laziness.

If you had to choose, is there a writer would you consider a mentor? Why?

That honor would go to Poul Anderson who wrote back to me habitually and gave me guidance in the industry when I needed it the most. He took out his valuable time to befriend me and answer so many questions. Can you tell I’m a dinosaur yet?

Who designed the cover of your book? Why did you select this illustrator?

Carlone Andrus of Melange Books, Fire & Ice YA division rendered the cover after reading the book. I had a different idea in mind, but she absolutely nailed it. The compliments have never stopped coming. Most of the plot is revealed on the cover but you would have to search very hard to put it all together.

Do you have any advice for other writers?

Watch your spending on ads–they can be grossly ineffective. Use social media and generously interact with fellow writers and readers. Don’t abuse FB and Twitter solely for the purpose of “Buy My Book.” Join writing groups and learn from the pros. Ask politely for reviews–don’t pressure, harass or intimidate. Be creative. Target your genre readers. Offer incentives and freebies. Craft a newsletter and send it out bi-monthly. Don’t take critiques as personal attacks–learn from honest opinions. Don’t despair. Never give up. Revenge query. I run a writer’s advocate blog and I pull no punches.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

If you think that you’ve had it tough, I recommend you watch Magic Beyond Words, the life story of Joanne Kathleen Rowling. Books just don’t happen. They are nurtured and raised from infancy, just like a budding writer is. This business might quit you, but you cannot quit the business. Stay active and attentively writing.

Chris J. Breedlove Sylvania, Alabama

FACEBOOK TWITTER AMAZON PAGE BLOG

Screamcatcher: Web World

[ricandhaiz]

Blindsided, Chapter 3

The day was warm and sunny with a slight wind as Nic made his way to the university’s main plaza to meet Allie. Given the burned portions of skin’s hypersensitivity to the sun, he’d opted to wear a long sleeve denim shirt and jeans with a baseball cap. While navigating through the throng of students coming and going to campus, he noticed that most of the people gathering for the men’s acapella group’s lunch time performance were women. He spotted Allie and Charlie sitting on a patch of grass underneath a large jacaranda tree not far from the arched gateway separating the upper and lower portions of the plaza. Charlie wagged his tail and barked in acknowledgment as he approached them.

“Nic, is that you?” Allie asked.

“You weren’t kidding when you told me this show was popular with the girls,” Nic replied as he sat down next to her. “I’m surprised there aren’t more men here. This place is practically swarming with women. I think I’m outnumbered three to one, which are great odds for any single guy who’s looking to pick up a girl.”

Allie smiled. “You think so?”

“Absolutely,” Nic replied as he thought about what his pre-accident self would have done in this situation. “It’s their loss, I guess. Lucky for me, I’m already sitting next to the prettiest girl on campus.”

“Wow,” Allie exclaimed, giggling. “You do have a way with words. My B.S. meter is usually pretty good at spotting a player a mile away but the way you just said that almost sounded believable.”

“You think I’m lying?” Nic replied.

Just then, a petite brunette wearing a red t-shirt and jean shorts arrived with arms laden with food and drinks. She greeted Allie with a warm hello as she bent down and handed her a can of Coke and a tuna sandwich. She turned to Nic as she sat down next to Charlie and said, “You must be the guy that Allie’s been talking my ear off about. You’re Nic, right?” Nic glanced at Allie, who was blushing. He nodded. She extended her hand to him and said, “Hi, I’m her roommate, Nicole.”

He shook Nicole’s hand and said, “I can’t imagine what she could’ve said about me. I’m really not that interesting.”

“Oh please,” Nicole replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Your name rang a bell as soon as she mentioned it, so being the overprotective and nosy friend that I am, I took the liberty of looking you up on the internet. You’re one of the Spanish soccer players who got into that horrific car accident in L.A. two years ago, right?” Nic nodded again, feeling decidedly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. “It was all over the news.”

His face fell as he recalled all the news clippings about the accident that his abuela had shown him when he had first returned to Spain. “Have you talked to anyone else other than Allie about me?” Nicole shook her head. Relieved, he added, “I’d appreciate it if you could keep what you’ve learned about me to yourself. It was a very painful period in my life and it took a long time for me to come to terms with what happened. I had to undergo months of physical and psychological therapy to get to where I am now. During that process, I decided that I needed a fresh start. That’s why I came here to study.”

“Of course,” Nicole replied contritely. “Mum’s the word.”

“Have many people asked you about your accident?” Allie asked as she popped the tab on her soda can.

Nic paused, then said, “It hasn’t really come up in any of the conversations I’ve had with my professors and classmates. I think they’re savvy enough to realize that it’s a sensitive issue for me and have chosen to respect my privacy in that regard.”

“Allie tells me that you’re in an MBA student,” Nicole said in a tentative voice. “Do you know where you’re going and what you want to do after you graduate?”

Nic sensed that her question had a lot to do with her concern for Allie and where a possible relationship with him might lead. In an attempt to assuage her concerns, he replied, “My family has been in the wine business for generations. Naturally, my papá would like to pass the business on to me once he retires but nothing’s set in stone. I could decide to stay here after I graduate. It’s too early yet for me to say for sure one way or the other.”

“Some of the articles I read said that your father also played professional football,” Nicole said.

“Yes, he did,” Nic replied, grateful that the focus of the conversation had at least temporarily shifted away from him. “He was one of three goalkeepers chosen to be a part of the Spanish national football team at both the 1994 and 1998 FIFA World Cups. He played for Real Madrid and Barça for years before he retired in the early 2000s.”

“Is he the reason why you decided to be a footballer too?” Allie asked.

“In part, but it was mostly because I loved playing the game too. My madre told me that I was playing with footballs even before I learned to walk.”

Allie then asked him, “Did people often compare you to your father?”

“All the time,” Nic replied as he reflected on his padre’s storied football career. “I didn’t mind. Most of the time, it just motivated me to work harder, especially since I’m two inches shorter than he is. Most goalkeepers are usually at least six feet tall.”

“Was he very involved in your sports career?” Allie asked.

Nic reflected on her question, then said, “He only gave me advice when I asked for it. He made it clear to me early on in my career that he wanted me to succeed on my own merit.”

“I bet your mom’s mighty proud of what you’ve accomplished,” Allie said. “Not many people have the skill or the talent to make it to the professional level of football like you did.”

“I’m sure she would have been,” Nic replied slowly. “She died of breast cancer when I was a teenager.”

Allie gasped in surprise and bit her lip. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“There’s no need for you to apologize,” Nic interjected. “You didn’t say or do anything wrong.”

After a brief pause in the conversation, Nicole leaned in as she placed her hand on Allie’s shoulder and said, “Well, now that Nic’s in the picture, maybe Conner will finally take a hint and go and find someone else to bother.”

“It doesn’t sound like you like him much,” Nic chimed in.

“No, I don’t,” Nicole replied matter-of-factly. “And neither does Allie but she’s just too nice to tell him to buzz off.”

“Is that true?” Nic asked.

Allie sighed. “He’s all right, but what irritates me most is his tendency to treat me like an invalid who can’t do anything for herself.”

“He’s such a tool,” Nicole said, shaking her head as she took a bite of her ham and cheese sandwich. “I know he’s a family friend and all, and that your aunt and his mom are close but that doesn’t mean you should feel obliged to put up with him like you do.”

“I know,” Allie said. “But it’s not like I haven’t tried to—”

“But nothing,” Nicole cut in. “You need to stop beating around the bush and tell him to back off, especially now that I’m not going to be there to help run interference for you.”

“You’re leaving?” Nic asked.

“My boyfriend recently got an advertising job in L.A. and asked me to go with him. I graduated this past spring and have been working as a nurse at the university hospital. I’ve already got a few interviews lined up so I don’t think I’ll have much of a problem landing a job.”

“It’s a great opportunity for both of them,” Allie said with a touch of sadness in her voice despite her obvious effort to sound upbeat. “Nicole’s been dying to move to a big city like L.A. ever since we met my freshman year here.”

Nicole nodded. “Hilton City’s alright for a college town but I can’t see myself living here long term. I need to be in a place with a faster pulse, you know what I’m saying?”

Nic glanced at Allie and said, “What does this mean for you?”

Allie shrugged and patted the top of Charlie’s head. “I can’t afford the apartment we live in on my own so I’m probably going to have to move back in with my aunt and uncle for a little while. I’d rather find another roommate but that’s tricky, especially with me being blind. Nicole’s the best. It’s probably going to be near high impossible to find someone like her on such short notice.”

“Where do you live?” Nicole asked.

“My friend, Matt, helped me find a room in a house just two blocks from the south side of campus. I live with an elderly couple whose son recently moved out. They rented out his room to me as a favor to Matt.”

Nicole’s eyes seemed to widen in apparent excitement. He wondered why. She asked, “Are you obligated to stay there for the entire school year?”

“No,” Nic replied.

She quickly followed that up with a few more questions. “Do you smoke or drink?”

“No, and a lot less than I used to.”

“Are you neat? I mean, like, do you tend clean up after yourself or are you the type that leaves his stuff lying around the house?”

“I’d like to think so.”

“Have you had roommates before?”

Nic shook his head, then swiftly added, “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be a good one.”

Nicole paused, looking thoughtful as she tapped her finger to her cheek. “Would you mind having to share space, like a bathroom with someone, if you had to?”

“What’s with all the questions?” Allie cut in.

Nicole nudged her in the ribs and said, “Isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to find out if Nic would be a good replacement for me.”

“What?” Allie asked, appearing utterly confused.

“Can you just see it?” Nicole replied, clapping her hands together in delight. “Trust me. I have a sixth sense about these things.”

For a moment or two, Nicole’s suggestion rendered both Nic and Allie speechless.

“Well, say something!” Nicole said. “You know I’m right.”

“Umm…I don’t know. My aunt might not approve of me living with a guy.”

Nicole rolled her eyes and said, “Your aunt needs to bring herself into the twenty-first century. People of the opposite sex live together all the time. Isn’t that right, Nic?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Nic replied cautiously.

“What do you think?” Allie asked.

“I don’t see why not.” Nic replied as his eyes darted back and forth between Allie and Nicole. “But I’d only do it if you’re one hundred percent okay with it.”

“Really?” Allie asked, sounding slightly off-kilter. Nic was finding it hard to gauge whether Allie agreed with Nicole’s assessment of the situation or not. But then she said, “Before you commit to anything, you ought to come by our apartment and take a look around first.”

“Are you doing anything this afternoon?” Nicole asked expectantly.

“I have an accounting class at two o’clock, but I could drop by any time after that,” Nic replied.

Nicole answered, “Why don’t you swing by at six? Allie and I will make spaghetti.” She patted Allie’s knee, adding, “Sound good?”

“Are you sure?” Allie asked, furrowing your brow as she turned her head in Nic’s direction. “We’re just getting to know each other. The last thing I want to do is make you feel like I’m pressuring you into moving in with me out of some misguided sense of obligation or pity.”

Nic placed his hand over Allie’s and gave it a squeeze. “Believe me, if I do agree to do it, feeling sorry for you definitely won’t be the reason I say yes.”

Just then, a member of The Warblers spoke up. He thanked the crowd for coming and then announced their opening song, “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Nic was grateful for the diversion. As the very real possibility of living with Allie began to sink in, he couldn’t help but think of this unexpected turn of events as the best stroke of luck that he’d encountered in a very long time. Although there was a part of him that was wary of being exposed to possible disappointment and heartbreak, the desire to love and be loved was much stronger. And so, he decided to keep an open mind and see how things would pan out later this evening.

 It was five till six when Nic looked up at the number on the white door and compared it to the piece of paper upon which Nicole had scribbled her and Allie’s apartment number and address earlier that day. It had been a pleasant and relatively short walk from the university library to their two-bedroom ground floor apartment. He’d stopped and sat on a park bench for a little while so as not to arrive too early and amused himself by watching children feed the ducks which were congregating at the edge of a small pond.

He knocked. A tall, sandy-blond haired man wearing a black t-shirt and shorts opened the door. For a second, Nic wondered if he was in the right place and was about to take a second glance at the paper in his hand when the man said, “Are you Nic? I’m Brandon, Nicole’s boyfriend. Come on in.”

Nic smiled and waved at Nicole and Allie, who were in the kitchen with Charlie, and followed Brandon to the living room. He was immediately struck by how neat and tidy the apartment looked. He glanced at an assortment of flowers in a glass vase on the coffee table and saw numerous pictures of the girls with friends and family hanging on the walls and side tables. He thought these things gave the place a decidedly homey feeling. Brandon motioned for him to take a seat on a red futon which had multicolored throw pillows on each corner.  As he sat down, his eye fell on a picture of a man in a fireman’s outfit holding a little brown-haired girl in his arms.

“That’s Allie and her dad,” Brandon said, following Nic’s line of sight. “I think Nicole told me that that picture was taken just a week before he died.”

“What happened to him?”

“He was one of the hundreds of firefighters who died on 9/11 at the Twin Towers. Allie was five.”

Brandon asked Nic if he wanted a beer. He said yes. The sound of pots and pans clanking and clattering in the kitchen filled his ears as the smell of freshly baked bread and pasta wafted through the air. He glanced at the forty-inch flat screen T.V. against the wall directly opposite the futon and the bookcases on either side of it which were filled with even more pictures, textbooks, audiobooks and CDs.

After returning to the living room with a beer in each hand, Brandon handed one to Nic and plopped onto a white bean bag next to the futon. “Nicole tells me that your thinking about moving in with Allie.” Nic nodded. “She’s a sweet girl, and Charlie’s the best. The neighbors are all right and the landlord’s usually pretty responsive to the girls whenever they’ve had a problem. Personally, the only thing that I think is kind of annoying about this place is how thin the walls are.”

“I’m a pretty deep sleeper so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Good. I was told that dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Would you like to see Nicole’s room?”

Nic shook his head. “I can wait. I wouldn’t want to do that without her being right there with me.”

“Not a problem. She’s the one who told me to ask you.” Brandon stood up and motioned for Nic to follow. “Let’s go.”

Brandon led Nic down a short hallway and then flicked on the light to the room furthest back. He stepped aside to give Nic a chance to take a peek inside. It was small bedroom with a closet which contained a twin bed, desk and dresser. He pointed to a door opposite the closet and asked, “Where does that lead?”

“The bathroom,” Brandon replied. “Did the girls tell you that you’re going to have to share it with Allie?”

No, not exactly, he thought as he tried to recall everything that Nicole had said to him earlier that day. He replied, “We really didn’t have much time to talk particulars before The Warblers’ set began.” After a brief pause, Nic asked, “Do you think Allie will have an issue about living with a roommate of the opposite sex?”

Brandon shrugged. “I doubt she would have asked you in the first place if she did. But…”

“But what?”

“Her uncle, Big Mike, might look at you sideways and give you the stink eye at first, but I’m guessing that even he’ll come around once the dust settles and he gets to know you better.”

Wonderful, Nic thought as he leaned against the doorframe and stuck his hands in his pockets. Just then, he heard light footsteps heading in his direction. He turned and saw Nicole coming toward him. She patted him on the shoulder and said, “I’m so glad you’re here. Allie’s been beside herself ever since I opened my big mouth and suggested that you move in with her.”

Nic frowned. “Is she having second thoughts?”

“God no. Just the opposite. She’s worried that I might’ve scared you off and that you’re going to say no.”

“Nicole has that effect on people,” Brandon chimed in, grinning. “Is dinner ready?” Nicole stuck her tongue out at Brandon before answering in the affirmative. Brandon replied, “Let’s get some chow. I’m starving.”

Nic sat down next to Allie, who was already seated at a square shaped wooden dining room table. Her long, wavy brown hair was down, and she was wearing a floral summer dress with sandals. Nic reached out for Allie’s hand and said, “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” Allie blushed.

Brandon placed a large bowl filled with spaghetti and meat sauce in the middle of the table. Nicole came up behind him holding glasses of champagne. She placed one in front of each person, and then looked over at Nic and asked, “So, what do you think?”

Nic felt Allie’s grip on his hand immediately tighten. She leaned over to Nic and said in a low voice, “You don’t have to decide this very minute if you’re still not sure what you want to do.”

Nic smiled and said, “I think your apartment is very nice and I can’t think of a single reason why I shouldn’t say yes.”

Allie beamed. Nicole let out a cheer, then said, “Just give me a sec. I’ve gotta run back and get the champagne.”

When Nicole returned, she promptly filled every person’s glass to the brim. Brandon stood up and said, “A toast, to roommates old and new.”

Everyone clinked their glasses together. As Nic raised his glass toward his lips, he felt profoundly grateful to be in the company of these down to earth and friendly people. While the others filled their plates, he glanced at Allie and then up at the ceiling. He silently said a prayer of thanks. After more than a year of self-imposed isolation, he finally felt that now was the time to take a chance and let someone special into his life and heart.

[taehyungiedits]

First Love

A series.

Min Yoongi and You were bestfriends who parted when they were young and failed to communicate. Yoongi pursued his dreams and you pursued yours. Both of your childhoods buried at the back of your head, never once looking back until fate decided to give you and Yoongi another chance.

------

Min Yoongi x Y/N

Childhood bestfriends au

Fluff/Angst

1/?

-------

You were passing by designer shops on the street near your apartment, your heels clicking on the concrete as you walked. Five? No, ten shopping bags divided equally between your two arms as you strode closer to your building. Yes, your building.

You owned it after all, you are a very successful woman at the age of eighteen. Youngest CEO in south korea. Owning a booming fashion brand AND having a company that could offer anything - from video games to food chains. You had it all.

You walked through the glass doors of your building as your secretaries, Min Ho and Lee In, assisted you to your room.

"Miss Y/N, you'll be meeting your parents tomorrow at noon." Min Ho stated as he pushed the button if the elevator going up.

"At what time?" I asked

As if on cue, they both answered "At noon." They looked at each other - then to me and smiled sheepishly.

I chuckled at them. Min Ho and Lee In are one of my closest friends - since we are always together. Whenever we try to be formal with each other it just feels awkward and we end up laughing.

We got off the 24th floor, right below the rooftop. As we walked to my room they updated me of upcoming meetings and other important events I should review. I bid them my farewells and entered my room.

I looked at my watch - 8:23, still early. So I decided to work for a while before I went to sleep and prepare for my trip to Daegu tomorrow. After finishing reviewing 4 project proposals and 2 sales updates I looked at the time and realized I WAS LATE.

I got up on my feet and ran to pack and wash - up at the same time. I was brushing my teeth as I stuffed my pajamas, my shoes, my outfits inside my suitcase as well as the gifts I decided to bring home to my parents. I'll only be staying for 3 days since work is hectic right now but I packed extra just in case.

As I finalized the stuff I was going to bring, I flopped down on my bed and drifted off to sleep.

----

I inhaled the air as I got off the train. I searched for my parents who were going to pick me up today from the station. I saw my mom waving her hands as my dad jumped up and down while holding the signboard with my name on it.

"Eomma! Appa!" I yelled through the crowd while I pull my suitcase as I run towards them.

"Eomma! Appa!" I repeated as I hugged both of them, "I missed you guys."

"Us too hon, us too." Dad replied tightening his hug around us.

As we parted from our five-minute hug, mom exclaimed "Oh honey! You'll be delighted when we get home. I cooked all you favorite meals, and you can finally see Bubbles' new puppies."

"That's great mom, I'm so glad to be back" I said, smiling.

The car ride to our house was as enchanting as ever. It was nice to take a break from the bustling life of seoul. Here in Daegu we can take things slower and we can have fun and rest.

I rolled down the windows as I took a deep breath. Ah fresh air. I'm inlove.

When we got to our home our neighbors greeted and welcomed me back. I could ready smell the beef barbecue mom prepared from outside. Entering the house, I heard faint barks coming from upstairs slowly getting louder until I was greeted by our chow-chow, Bubbles. Following Bubbles were her 4 babies - cookie, milo, froyo, and chooey. Bubbles jumped on me as her puppies barked at the newly encountered intruder - me.

"Honey, dinners ready!" mom yelled from the kitchen.

"Coming mom!" “Coming hon!", dad and I yelled back at the same time. We looked at each other suspiciously.

"I'M honey." Dad stated as if taunting me to say otherwise. Of course, I knew better.

"Nuh-uh dad. I'M honey." I answered back while have a staring contest with him.

Mom walks to the living room to find me and dad having and intense staring contest.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS DOING THIS TIME. I SAID DINNER WAS READY 8 MINUTES AGO."

We both blinked garnering a groan from both of us. We both started bickering loudly and then we looked at each other, then at mom and asked "Which one of us was 'honey'?"

Mom blinked twice, as if she was trying to process what just happened. "This is the reason you were fighting?" she asked sternly.

She took both of our ears and dragged us to the dining area. "If you ever do something like that again, you are grounded." Mom said looking at both of us.

"Even me?" Dad asked.

"Yes, especially you!", she hit him with a newspaper, "You're a grown man for Pete's sake."

After our sermon from mom we ate and decided to catch up on some things. They told me about this knitting class they were going to and even this yoga class every friday they attended.

We started talking about tv shows they watched when mom suddenly gasps and says "Hey do you remember your old playmate at the hotel? He's a famous rapper now!"

"What? Who?" i asked, puzzled.

"I forgot his name, oh what was it - uhh he plays the piano and he helped you learn how to skate remember?" she turned to dad, "Dear, do you remember his name??"

Dad, surprised by mom's sudden question stuttered when answering "U-uhh i thin-I think his song went like umm 'A to the something with STD' I don't know I'm not sure"

"I got it!!" mom suddenly yelled.

Dad looked at her and asked "What?? Did you get his name??"

You thought of the name, you've heard it before but you can't quite remember it. Thus leaving you and your parents confused.

"No! I won a gift card! See?" mom exclaimed while showing her phone to my dad. "Oh yeah let me google his song maybe we'll find out his name."

Mom proceeded to type into her phone. Unlike most moms, my mom is internet savvy, she even has a groupchat with her friends called "le amigas"

"I got it! For real this time!" mom said while chuckling. "His name is Yoongi, does that ring a bell?"

[boobachu]

The T.C. rambles while watching a force awakes

Re-watching star wars 7 to see if out of the 3D headache IMAX theatre, if it’s any better.

I still hate parody Han Solo guy, like he reminds me of post-Black Knight Sonic the Hedgehog. Just really unfunny and trying way too hard to be hip and internet savvy or something.

I don’t think anything will change my opinion that he shoulda been a bit character.

I’ve decided to commentate the whole fucking movie so read on if you dare.

Rey’s making space bread. It’s very gross.

I doubt anything will change my opinion that she’s the best star wars character.

Oh God BB-8

HBomberguy ruined BB-8 for me. Whenever I see him all I hear is

L I T T L E   W H I T E   C U C K - B A L L L L L L

I guess Rey doesn’t like him either, I forgot this part.

I wish they got rid of the Dorito Destroyer.

Oh boy Darth Helmet is interrogating Lone Star.

Kylo Ren has the stupidest helmet.

There’s subtitles on this so I learned the guy’s name is Poe

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

Like Kylo Ren is really badass in the first half I remember this, like he stops a God damn laser blast.

Would you sell BB-8 for 60 meals?

Oh hey

Ugh what’s his name... the storm trooper’s gonna take Poe outta here.

You need a pilot. LOL

I guess Poe is alright, just his first impression was very dumb.

Oh snap it’s hooked down. What kinda name is Hux that’s stupid.

Ha hah shootin’ em down just like Annie in ep 1.

Get fucked command center.

Why do they still have Twin Ion Engine fighters?

I guess we still drive cars so eh...

Ah his name is Finn now, I guess he is a clone? or something?

Maybe they have multiple types of clones. I wonder if they still use Jango Fett...

Fucking proton torpedos!!!

Ah yeah I forgot Finn just wants to GTFO

Trailer shot. Nice.

Oh wait I can turn off subtitles. Good that was disorienting me.

And Poe dies... a great fake-out you thought parody han solo was a protag, but no this is the story of Finn, the storm trooper defecting from nazi hell-space to find his own life on Jakku or wherever.

He keeps Poe’s jacket for cover, very poetic. HAH

POE-ETIC God why did I hate this movie again?

If there’s a Kylo Ren, where is Kylo Stimpy?

Oh God Finn no don’t ugh drank the slop water ugh no why ugh

Finn goes to save Rey cuz white knight trope. Rey can handle herself like a ‘90s chick. Hey she’s a pit chick she’s got a staff.

RUN FINN RUN

Rey fuck taser what

Finn’s having a lousy life.

Poor basketball’s friend died. I feel like the story is rushing.

Like I expected more of a build-up not “SPIT OUT THE EXPOSITION FUCKIN”

Ah, storm troopers...

Rey doesn’t want your cooties, Finn.

Fucking TIE fighters fuck

Is Finn dead? No he just nappin’

Everything exploding!

THE GARBAGE’LL DO

God damn Millenium cheeseburger.

I can do this I can do this

HOW DO YOU FLY A CHEESEBURGER

Fucking karma’s a cheeseburger, that’s what you get for callin’ the SS you loser

The action scenes are choice

Ah Dorito ruins.

Oh I remember this part just

TIE DOWN

oh no Finn down

here it comes

G E T  R E A D Y

fucking engine exhaust TIOGHT

HARD RIGHT

WOOOOOO

Takin’ the shot yeah

Space

CHUCK A  SHIT

ohp

Kylo is Mado

NERD RAGE

AAAAAAAAAA

Kylo is such a 12 year old in 2003.

GIRL?! THERE WAS A WOM?!?!?!?!? XDDD fucking loser

pweese BB-8 help I dunno what I do

fucking lighter thumbs up

Damn Finn what a nerd. “Got a boyfriends? a boyfriend?”

oh no they got garbage dayed

come on Rey gas them gas them all

oh great it’s Han Solo and Chewie

oh wait he used to be Han Solo

What is he now Han Oriana? Whatever Leia’s last name was I never could spell it.

Damn buncha everything happens

Oh great it’s big eyed billy joe armstrong and his O-nauts

WE WUNT OR MUNEY BAEK NAU

oh boy more losers.

It’s all over for Solo.

Ah shit just unleashed things.

There goes the neighborhood just fucking angry meatballs of death AND HE FEEDS THAT DUDE TO IT

oh shit it quiet

Rey is allalone...

Fucking Finn I turn my head a sexond and the meatball caught him.

Get to da cheeseborger

“I never ask that question until after I’ve done it”

Just lightspeed dashed I swear he looks like british billie joe armstrong.

Damn giant fish thing on planet deadly pokeball.

Who is supreme leader he is stupid ugly stupid.

Oh his dad’s Han Solo wow way to blow it spoiler alert fucking why didn’t they save that for the end who wrote this crap oh he was a hologram.

Damn babuy chewie

Ah the new hope plot.

I dunno they twist it enough to make it feel fresh so eh.

Ah a planet of islands... the scenery reminds me of ep 2

“Did you just call me ‘Solo’?”

Women always figure out the truth, always.

There needs to be a han solo inspirational poster that says that.

A job? The fabled... job? You offer job?

Rey has a home? I thought she was just a wayfarer.

Don’t stare “At what?” any of it XDDDDD

Yeah this story feels like it’s going too fast like what’s going on.

HAAAN S O L O

Wait she’s hot for Chewbakka?

Man this band sucks.

Oh great fucking droid nark NARK

Weird lady narks NARKS EVERYTHWIER

Oh boy Darth Helmet is brooding.

Fucking Darth Vader. Kylo Ren is such a fanfiction.

Like, the idea of a warrior of light choosing darkness is something you seldom see done, but... eh... I guess? IRL kids no like most nazis are privilidged and a decade ago would be seen as nerds.

what’s this

what are you doing

The eyes of a man who wants to run

Finn need go bye-bye

Oh wait storm troopers are stolen, not bred. That’s worse like

Finn is really shiny there who does his makeup?

Rey sure didn’t care he was a storm trooper LOL

The screams... they becon me...

Finally a fresh feeling scene.

WHAT’S IN DA BOX

fucking lightsaber

T R I G G E R E D

Is she clairvoyant? I dond’t remember this part.

Is this special edition?

FUTURE

I like specs. She cool.

FUCK D A FORCE

Oh boy nazis

Fucking screamy bitch XDDD

FIST UP why are the nazis doing the fist up this is upsetting.

PEW

How does the laser split up into shit and what is this planet?

Like this is supposed to be dramatic but... you literally don’t know any of those people or any of those planets. This should have been episode 8 or 9 after establishing those planets.

 W H A T    A    W A S T E

oH BOY  Finn got da lightsabah

BEASTS

There goes that dump, way to go Rey it’s your fault I guess BLANKS

Way to kill that soldier

MURDER SPREE

Oh boy Kylo Ren, what a hoot that guy.

wait is this the part?

Han Solo so has the force like if his force3 ghost isn’t in the movie

YOU HAAAVE ONE

Han Solo what a goof

TRAITOR

M E L E E   B A T T L E

Fucking just like in Empire except it’s not Yoda hallucination probably.

Caughted

THE RESISTIES

The x-wing is still the coolest thing like Sonic knew that.

Damn Finn calm down it’s just a pilot.

Rey is in weird jungle o no

She just got godlike and Ren is gonna break that killstreak

MELEE OP

Fucking using cheater force

Kylo you sound like such a dork

That cross saber is still stupid where’s the minorah saber

Nooo Rey!!!

C’mon Finn melee them

fucking lightsaber the whole first order you can do it

just

throw it at the ship

just

throw

and the bad guys win

C-3P0 you mother fucker

Changed your hair

Same Jacket

I can’t believe Carrie Fisher is dead.

The resisties are kinda boring looking.

Oh look it’s Poe, he’s alive somehow.

Maybe the second time I’ll get the good explanation.

Oh no, there’s no good explanation he just wasn’t there.

L A A A A A A A A A A M M M E.

Okay we’re past a new hope kinda in empire strikes back territory and the ending is the last jedi. Like I totally get people being upset that this is basically the original trilogy in a nutshell.

Damn dead R2-D2

Wait C-3P0 has a red arm why

I wonder how many parents relate to Han and Leia because their son turned into a nazi.

Fucking Snoke. What kinda name is that. Solid Snoke.

Was Kylo Ren just staring at Rey’s unconscious body for the past hour?

I’m sorry he’s just not intimidating he looks like a cheap halloween darth vader

Then the dramatic reveal like remember when Darth Vader was so disfigured from burning alive?

Kylo’s just ugly. Like that’s it that’s the reveal. Kylo is ugly.

Rey/Kylo is like whenever a 4chan boy tries to hit on a hot youtube girl like your face just melds into the chair to escape his grasp like a cat that doesn’t want to be pet.

I dunno this scene is just so stupid cuz they both look dorky like this is happening at otakon

You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader

BITCH GOT TOOOLLLLLLD

Kylo has a huge nose. Like he’s Lois Griffin triangle sandwitch nose

I like how Rey tries to Luke Skywalker the storm trooper and he’s like “Serious?”

LOL fucking just left

T A N T R U M   T I M E

and the storm troopers just turn around LOL

Okay I love this weapon like, it’s a combination of the star crusher and a vaccum cleaner from Luigi’s mansion. It destroys the star, but in the way that it uses it to destroy things.

“So it’s big”

Disable the shields... there better be Ewoks on that planet.

Seriously, what does Poe add to the story after the escape?

Damn leila and han... dum

Hey a woman stormtrooper, like just a white gal. I didn’t notice that.

Damn lightspeed their way in.

Hooooh what a landing.

...Han Solo...

That‘s not how the force works!!!

LOL

Finn just wants Rey. I can see why people would think he’s horny for her since that boyfriend line, but that was the last horny thing he said.

Fucking mad with Power, calm down Finn then again we all wanna tell off our boss.

Rey is gonna escappeeeee damn hang on the side of the wall is that a switch what

Rey just climbing that wall like a monkey.

S H I E L D S   D O W N

Fucking Han... is there a trash compactor? You dirty bastard

And here comes the interesting part of Jedi Returns SHOOTY TIME

A T T A C K   T H E   S C P H I N C T E R (that’s how you spell it right)

Oh I love the sun thing like, it’s a great way of showing the timer without a clock.

Oh look it’s Rey, go on and almost get shot to death

H U G

Escape now, hug later.

The cinematography is good I like the dog fights.

LET”S BLOW SHIT UP

I dunno this just really isn’t dramatic at all

Placing bombs, just like in Jedi.

Here comes Kylo

At least he keeps the mask on, like too many movies rely on faces.

oh light’s almost gone.

M A H   B O Y

Ah the stupid part

Wait is his name Finn too?

Like this woulda been way more dramatic if you didn’t know Kylo was Han’s boy.

There’s no music making this awkward and gut-wrenching which you don’t see modern mvoies do.

I’m being torn apart ;w;

What a bitch

Knowing what happens these lines are hilarious

Will you help me

L I G H T S   O U T

red

STAB, STAB, STAB~

AHHHHHH HOOO HOO HOO HOOOIIEEEEE

I dunno like, you’d think Han Solo being stabbed to death with his son would feel more heavy but that was just... nothing.

A S P L O D E

Fucking Kylo TEEF

Night time, being chased by a crazy dork in the woods.

oh here it comes

TRAILER FUEL

YEUR A MUNSTAH

REY DOWN

C’mon Finn

TRAAAIIITOOORRRR

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT

Fucking melee battle

Just fueled by the rage of his fallen friend, the desparation of the sun dissolving he fights for his life against a wounded lunatic.

Okay so maybe that cross saber has a use.

FINN DOWN

grabby time

oh no

REY GRABBED THE SABER

ROUND TWO, DARTH LOSER

This is unbearably xcool

Time to shoot the hole... like in new hope.

This ending is just all three original endinds with new stuff

30 seconds

SNEAKED IN SHOOT EM UP WOOOOOOOO

JUST LIKE ANNIE IN EP 1

only cooler

KA BLOOOOIIEEEE

fuckin’ A

this battle is just like in empire strikes back

fucking planet’s falling apart so it’s better

A tempting offer

Who wants kylo ren to be a teacher like he’d be like a nun

W 0 0 T

it’s the comeback

don’t give the hero a dramatic pause to focus

B E A T   D O W N

the struggle is real

K-O

Take that loser

there seems to be something between us, Ren

Welp the planet is collapsing woo

Finn don’t you die, Poe is a loser you’re cool Finn

Ah it’s Chewie in the Churger

oh yeah han died like I thought it was han but no he died XDDDDD

GTFO

Here comes the sun doot de doo doot~

Epic

Now for the final scene of congrats.

“Sorry General, your boyfriend was stabbed by his son and then the planet exploded”

H U G

Poor Chewie.

Fucking Artoo what are you doing here.

Like, this shoulda been episode 8 here, it feels like it shoulda ended with han’s funeral and the map was the start of the next movie aunno.

And Finn’s tale of a freedom slave blowing up the nazi death planet comes to a close.

Wait is she leaving?

I thought there was a funeral.

Nothing?

Not even an F?

Yeah then se see’s Luke’s hairy ass and it ends so awkwardly like this movie felt like two movies and THIS SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SEQUEL WHAT

Whoever wrote this is an idiot, whoever directed is even worse.

ANyways my conclusion is that the movie isn’t horrible, but... I dunno it’s about as bad as ep2 tho that movie’s crime was being boring, this one was too much story crammed into a short period and ruined opportunities.

I might watch ep 8 but I just am not invested like

HAN SOLO DYING MEANT NOTHING

Like fucking handing him a lightsaber what kinda ending is that

R O G U E   O N E   W A S   B E T T E R.

The end.

[paulisweeabootrash]

Book Review: Princess Holy Aura

An earlier version of this post was published on Facebook on April 30, 2018.

PAUL IS WEEABOO TRASH; or, Paul Reviews... A Book?!

Q: A book?  So, like, you're reviewing based on the first volume of a manga series or something?

A: No, a novel.

Q: A novel.

A: Yeah.

Q: Why not manga?  You have a problem with it?  Are you being snobby about what kinds of books are better than others?

A: No, not at all.  Manga is just another kind of literature.  I just felt like doing this novel because it's relevant to--

Q: How?  Oh!  Is it a novel that an anime is based on?  One of those outrageously-long light novel serieses?

A: No.

Q: A visual novel?  That seems like something you'd review.

A: No, it's a Western print novel, and there's no anime based on it.  But I swear it's relevant.

Q: Relevant...?  Hm.

A: Because it's--

Q: Is it something mentioned in an anime or something else you'd review?  Oh!  Is it "Hyperion"?

A: No.

Q: ..."Portrait of Markov"?

A: That's not a real book.

Q: Well what then?

A: It's a novel about a magical girl.

Q: Oh.  Huh.  Weird.  Proceed. -----

EPISODE 8: Princess Holy Aura (2017)

Princess Holy Aura by Ryk E. Spoor is a magical girl story for people who are familiar with the genre and find its absurdities at least as endearing as they are frustrating.  It's a sort of affectionate parody.  We follow the normal progression of certain famous magical girl anime — the mascot (a magic rat named Silvertail) giving our heroine her powers, the escalating danger of fights with an otherworldly enemy (an assortment of creatures derived from Japanese and American pop culture and folklore), meeting and bonding with a whole team of magical girls (the Apocalypse Maidens) — with some added twists and an awareness of the rules of the genre that allows the main character to succeed because of his ability to deconstruct what's going on.

The deconstruction is justified--

Q: Wait, did you say "his"?

A: Yes.  I'm getting to that.  And the pronouns are going to get confusing.

See, the reason Holy Aura is genre-savvy is that her secret identity is Stephen Russ, an impoverished thirtysomething otaku and Air Force veteran.  Chosen for his intense willingness to help others and his experience with the stresses of adult life, his knowledge of magical girl shows also turns out to gives him the preparation he needs to understand and anticipate his enemies.  Why?  Because, as I was going to say before, the deconstruction is justified by magic-users' beliefs about magic affecting how magic works — so it's susceptible to the magic-related memes of whatever culture(s) the current crop of Apocalypse Maidens are from.  This means Holy Aura and the other Apocalypse Maidens apply knowledge of various media conventions to figure out, and sometimes anticipate, their enemies.

The other four magical girls, for magical plot contrivance reasons, are actual teenage girls, so Stephen must go undercover as "Holly Owen", Holy Aura's eyeroll-inducing normal human girl form, to find and recruit them.  Stephen/Holly deals with the strangeness of abandoning his old life and adjusting to his role — not just physically, but because of how his status as small, young and female now drastically change how others interact with him.  This leads to one of my favorite things about the story: how it describes Stephen/Holly's adjustment.  Each Apocalypse Maiden is partially herself, but also a cumulative reincarnation of every previous version of the Maiden they are.  So Holly not only has Stephen's memories, but those of every previous person to become Princess Holy Aura, all of whom up to this point have apparently been actual teenage girls.  As Stephen adjusts to the radically different physical form of Holly, and the differences in treatment that come with it, he also finds himself feeling more and more "right", as if Holly is the "original" and Stephen the assumed persona.  This is true not only of acting like a high school girl but also true of her physical body.  Stephen's crisis of identity as he realizes he is becoming Holly to the point that his own male body becomes just plain disorienting to walk around in feels genuine and understandable.

The gradual shift from Stephen to Holly eventually leads to (sigh) an inevitable romantic subplot between Holly and another student, because the genre demands it.  But I actually like how uncomfortable this is for both Stephen and the reader.  At this point in the story, Stephen is in a truly alien and frightening situation.  Since Holly is not just a persona adopted by Stephen but has traces of the personalities and feelings of all people who have ever been Princess Holy Aura in the past, Stephen is more and more a passenger in Holly's body rather than the "driver".  Stephen is becoming subsumed into Holly, a brand new person born out of the combined experiences of many.  So of course Holly has feelings Stephen feels alarmed by and does things Stephen doesn't fully control, and the reader should be creeped out by contemplating what that would be like.

As the book goes on, however, its flaws also become more apparent.  Expository conversations (both between heroes and between villains) are an expected part of this genre, and given that there have been many iterations of the Apocalypse Maidens vs. Lovecraftian Aliens battle in the past to learn from there is at least an in-universe justification for them, but there are so. many. of. them.  Silvertail's advice in particular gets increasingly tiresome, sometimes feeling as if we're reading "Silvertail's Walkthrough Guide to Magical Girl-ing" instead of a novel, and he has far too many conveniently-helpful magical abilities despite his alleged weakness.  The premise also leaves itself vulnerable to an obvious in-universe problem, which it tries to address, but not convincingly.  For reasons to do with how magic works, the Apocalypse Maidens reveal themselves to their parents, and this includes them learning that Holly was previously Stephen.  As you might expect, this does not go over well.  Stephen is genuinely a nice guy, not a "Nice Guy", and attempts to get that message across, but the most convincing argument he can muster is basically "your daughters are safe around me because they could kill me easily if I tried to molest them even if I was in full Holy Aura mode", and worse, parents accepting the situation is explained mainly as a mixture of that reassurance and magic itself keeping the Maidens together.  There is, apparently, nothing Stephen can possibly say or do to reassure them he's not a sexual predator.  Maybe that's the point of those scenes?  It's unclear.

That takes us most of the way (and slightly out of order) through a broad overview of the plot, and I don't want to give any spoilers for the resolution (go read it yourself!).  Suffice it to say that it continues along a pretty much "first season of Sailor Moon" trajectory.  And of course, the whole book ends in a way that leaves it open to a second season-- er, I mean, sequel, but still definitely ends this particular story arc.  Exactly as you'd expect.  Exactly as it must, according to the memes controlling magic.

-----

[Classic] W/A/S Scores: 4(+extra) / 1 / 4

Weeb: This is very much a book by a geek for fellow geeks.  Although I previously said the Magical Girl genre does not have a high a barrier to entry in terms of general cultural knowledge, and although Princess Holy Aura also incorporates tropes and characters from, and makes references to, a great deal of American media, knowledge of both Japanese and American horror and fantasy tropes is really helpful to "get" what anyone is talking about.  Not only is it taken for granted that characters recognize the source material for what's going on, they also sometimes make leaps of logic that I have trouble following, and I don't know if that's a problem with the story or with my own background knowledge so that if I'd seen the right show(s) I would've caught on immediately.  Plenty of things are explicitly spelled out, especially in early conversations between Stephen and Silvertail, but familiarity with several magical girl shows or manga would probably be helpful if only to know more specifically what Stephen is talking about.  I'd rate this a 4 on the Weeb scale, but also at least a 4 on a scale of American Geek Media — knowledge of H.P. Lovecraft and recent internet lore, and to a lesser extent general knowledge of RPGs and major works of sci-fi and fantasy, are probably essential to not staring blankly going "what is this?"  Like certain interminable live-action shows I could name, it mashes together monsters from a variety of source materials with mixed results.

Ass: As if directly responding to common complaints about men writing women in inappropriately-sexualized and deeply-implausible ways, descriptions are actually descriptive rather than gratuitous, and Stephen-as-Holly really only talks about his/her own body in the context of getting used to it, and does so in less-sexualized terms than I've heard women I'm friends with use in moderately-polite company.  In fact, although Holly is understandably portrayed as having sexual feelings, Spoor rather aggressively avoids sexualizing her to the audience, which is an important distinction.

Shit: The whole "trust me, I'm not a pervert" interactions with the parents, some way-too-convenient things about the way magic works, and OH DEAR GOD THE EXPOSITION just end up making me go "is that really the best way you could think of to resolve that?".  Also, the Cthulhu mythos seems shoehorned and incongruous.  It's not great, but it is entertaining and coherent, unlike some things I've reviewed so far, so I'll give it a middling score.  I still recommend it if you're in the target audience of "gigantic fucking geek", which, face it, you probably are if you read my reviews.

-----

Stray observations:

- The action scenes are described well enough that I can pretty much imagine how they'd go shot-by-shot in an anime.  Or maybe I've just seen enough anime to know what common shots Spoor is talking about.

- SLENDER MAN IS NYARLATHOTEP.  (This is barely a spoiler.  It takes about one page for the characters to make the connection.)

- If "Silvertail's Walkthrough Guide to Magical Girl-ing" were a real book, I would totally read it.  It would go on my shelf right next to Hate You Forever: How to Channel Your Rage Into Effective Supervillainy, which is also not that good but quite entertaining if you're the right flavor of geek (which, again, you probably are if you read my reviews).

[aikainkauna]

Movie meeeehm

Thanks to @nitrateglow for these!

1: A movie you enjoyed as a kid that you don't now

-Probs some comedy I'd find awfully sexist/racist/homophobic etc. now. But of course, I can't recall a specific one, probs because the experience is so deeply squicky and traumatic. Oh, wait, I know. I adored The Great Mouse Detective as a kid, but have heard so many "bleh" comments about it later that I don't want to ruin it by rewatching it as an adult. Why take a happy, cherished, pure and joyous memory away, especially as there are so few of those in my life anyway in proportion to the bad memories?

2: A movie you disliked as a kid that you like/love now

-Not a movie, but I was literally too fucking terrified to watch Doctor Who as a kid on cable, because the Tom Baker repeats they were showing terrified me with the title sequence alone. That empty stare and howling, diddly-duming music were enough to give me nightmares. So I only got into Who in my late teens!

3: Your favorite movie as a kid

-Define "kid." I went through several. I loved the Disney Robin Hood, of course, and at puberty, Wayne's World (yes) and The Princess Bride were my own cult movies, before I had anyone to fangirl them with. Ah, the pre-Internet era.

4: An actor/actress it took you time to warm up to

I remember being weirdly terrified and disturbed by Jeremy Brett as a kid, but then I felt the same about Bowie, and... well. Clearly it was my baby self not knowing WTF to do with all this stirring, restless energy that later turned out to be my skinnyandrogynousbisexualguy orientation thingy. And while I'd first seen Caligari and Casablanca as a teen in the early 90s, I wasn't ready for Connie until he pounced me in 2012. I would not have "got" him the same way and as hard until I was a grown-up, with a wide variety of experiences from many areas of life and a boatload of books/learning behind me. Just... no way.

5: A director it took you time to warm up to

-If anything, I've cooled off various directors I was impressed by when younger. So much of the auteur stuff gets wanky and self-imposing, in this Arrogant Artist Guy "look at my GENIUS big VISION and also insecurity about my penis size" kind of way. I like directors who can be warm and have fun and who show some real humanity (not wanky anvilly/kitchen sink-y sort of "humanity" either). Maybe Branagh? I found him a bit annoying as a kid, but now fap all over his stuff because now I'm old enough to Get It. He is the best kind of fanboy director; his geekiness is catching. Listening to his Thor commentary was a real eye-opener into my realising just how massive a nerd he is, and in a good, "one of us" kind of way.

6: Top five favorite soundtracks of your favorite movie composer

-There isn't just one! But Clint Mansell and Debbie Wiseman turn to gold everything they touch. Debbie especially is hugely unknown still, but she has this most amazing, swellingly Romantic music full of sweeping emotion that I just can't rec her enough. Do check her out; she'll give you goosebumps.

7: Three movies that defined your teen/childhood years

-I think I mentioned those already! But as a teenager, Bram Stoker's Dracula, La Reine Margot and Heavenly Creatures were formative. There were others I obsessed about way more than those, but they weren't as influential--it's more like they were massaging buttons I already had.

8: Sci-fi or westerns?

-Blake's 7! AKA "The Dirty Dozen in Space."

9: Are there any movies you own more than one copy of?

-Ahhahaha. AAAHHAHAHAHA! Of The Thief of Bagdad, I own: The Criterion clusterfuck with the awful clumsy cover someone had their 5-year-old draw, the Nordic DVD, the German Blu-Ray because I live on the edge (what with those Veidt Eye Closeups in HD being a hazard to any uterus) and at least three different digital copies. Because I'm me. I also own two digital copies and one DVD of Casablanca, three digital and one DVD of A Woman's Face and don't get me started on the British telefantasy I have on both DVD and VHS. I have spare copies of both the Caligari Masters of Cinema release and the ITV DVD of The Spy In Black, so I guess I should throw them at somebody.

10: Physical media or streaming?

-Neither. Video files firmly saved onto and run from my hard drive. Fuck streaming with its choppiness (ruins the viewing experience for me) and physical media are usually beyond my budget (unless I save up for a Connie DVD). Besides, I rip my favourite movie discs onto my HD anyway. I want to be able to gif that shit, dammit!

11: Are there any movies you watch on special occasions every year (Christmas, Halloween, birthdays, your mother's aunt's wedding anniversary, etc.)

-Used to do Nightmare Before Christmas on Halloween, but not any more. I still attempt ToB every Christmas. And I used to do All Through The Night with wine on my birthday, but as I can't tolerate alcohol anymore, the experience of Watching ATTN Drunk is no more. Someone start a Halloween tradition with me where we watch either The Student of Prague or Eerie Tales (or both) every year?

12: What movie do you most associate with your best friend(s)?

-Gosh, so few have stayed, so it's more like "movie that reminds you of a broken friendship," yay...?! I've learned to try and not associate movies with people that way any more, because it's more painful than it's worth. Connie is my best friend. He's like Krishna that way.

13: Name a movie adaptation you thought was better than or equal to its source material.

-LOTR put in more facial features and characterisation than Tolkien ever did, and did the tales far less fucking tediously. Imagine if you'd had to sit and watch hobbits walking through the countryside for 6 hours with barely anything happening?! Yeah...

14: What genres do your favorite movies tend to be?

-Historical, fantasy, Gothic Romantic, just Romantic stuff on the whole. More old than new movies these days. Why watch shitty modern chick flicks when I have far better characterisation and far less narrowly defined female lives in old-timey "women's pictures?" And guys who actually fucking shaved, dressed in clothes that were tailored for them instead of rented and saggy, whose bodily expressions weren't frozen for fear of "fagginess," and who weren't pumped full of 'roids.

15: Are you a fan of period dramas and if so, what era do you enjoy best?

-Yes. I love me some costume dramas, but I am seriously picky about them--most post-90s ones have been fucking awful and tend to feature shitty costumes and unkempt hair that would've sent real historical people to Bedlam, wobblycam from hell, vomit-inducingly excessive modernisation to be "edgy", and that one painfully skeletal bint they shove into every period drama ever these days, so it's... slim pickings for a history nerd, these days. There aren't many good ones set in the 17th century/Baroque era, which I love the most: the two Baroque dramas I wholeheartedly love are both series. (The Devil's Whore and By The Sword Divided.) The Angeliques and Musketeer adaptations are riddled with flaws, but there are some glowing bits within. As for The Golden Age of Islam... bloody hell, there really aren't that many good ones out there, are there?! ToB and Jodhaa Akbar and Disney's Aladdin, obviously. La Reine Margot isn't "my" period but it's great, as is Dangerous Liaisons (also not my period)--those are so fucking perfect. And the Connie period dramas, well... I think of them as primarily "silent movies" or "old movies," actually. Of those, The Student of Prague, ToB and The Wandering Jew are the best "costume" ones, IMHO. (I'd probs enjoy Lucrezia Borgia and Carlos and Elisabeth way more, were the copies we have not so smudgy.)

16: Name a movie you love that you would recommend to just about everyone.

-Ah, but we know there are always cynical cunts out there who'd give even Casablanca two stars, so what's the point? I'd still recommend it, though. And The Lion King, I guess.

17: Name a movie you love that you consider an acquired taste.

-Honestly, I'm thinking of telly rather than movies again. You will pry my cherished copy of The Time Monster from my cold, dead hands. Does The Devil of Winterborne count as a movie or TV? That's how far back my love for Mark Gatiss goes. Um... Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood makes me fucking cry with laughter (the comedic timing is what does it. *beat* "Ain't dat some shit!"). Of Connie's oeuvre, yes, I know Bella Donna is rubbish, but Connie and Mary are SIZZLING and horny and juicy and it's Valid as a BDSM porn movie. And the novel is actually good.

18: Name a film you like directed by/starring a filmmaker/actor you normally don't care for.

-Not so much actor/director, but I did *not* expect to love Thor as much as I did, because I expected a dumb popcorn movie but got great adventure cinema with a touch of Shakespeare instead. I really am not the right audience for regular Marvel features at all, before or after. Fuck Marvel up its dumb macho Republican ass. But Thor is fucking beautiful and operatic and poetic and majestic and Pagan and shit. Branagh knows what I like.

19: Name a movie that blew your mind.

-A Woman's Face (1941). Because. Holy. Fuck. How can I keep on finding yet more details in it six years after first watching it, having watched it countless times by now?! And obvs all the other stuff, like the shockingly good female POV, amazing and complex woman protagonist, amazing writing, amazing ensemble cast, amazing direction, amazing lighting, amazing evil Torsten Slinkypussy Barring and The. Goddamn. Attic. Scene.

20: What genre mash-up would you most love to see that either hasn't been done yet or hasn't been done enough?

-Feminist-savvy historical romance with fantasy elements and hot explicit sex that's not shit. Basically, like the stuff you see in my fics, but better paced and woven into coherent adventure movies.

21: The coolest movie you've ever seen

-Too, too many. But Bogie was the coolest. And Claude Rains had the best acting skills. And Conrad Veidt was Conrad motherfucking Veidt. So what with those three mountains of coolness all converging under the Moroccan sky, I'm sure it's safe to say "Casablanca."

[naivelost]

CHARACTER INTERVIEW !

GENERAL

NAME:   benjamin isaac andersen. NICKNAME(S):   ben, benji, benny, etc. AGE:   23. SPECIES:    human.

PERSONAL 

MORALITY:  lawful  / neutral /  chaotic /  good /  neutral  / evil /  true. RELIGIOUS BELIEF:   N/A. his background is that his mum came from a strict catholic family and his father is jewish. SINS:   envy / greed / lust / gluttony / sloth / pride / wrath. VIRTUES :  chastity / humility  / charity / diligence / kindness / patience / temperance. PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE:  ben was born into a family that taught their children to have one thing in mind: SUCCESS. underneath that, he really just wants not to be alone, maybe more than even being happy ( see: being with the wrong people ). it’s also very important to him to help others and make a difference to the world, even if it’s just in a small way. LANGUAGES KNOWN:   english, norwegian ( both fluent ) decent welsh & french. he’s studying and learning latin and ancient greek as he goes, mostly for translation. SECRETS:   he acts like his mental health is more stable than it is, and that he’s further in recovery from his eating disorder when he’s actually relapsing and relying on unhealthy coping methods. he just doesn’t want to go back to what his life was just a few years prior, and hasn’t fully accepted that he’s always going to need help in certain ways. he feels how he really is isn’t something anyone is going to want, never mind love. he’s just too much to deal with. / there’s NSFW content of him floating around the internet. it was a way to get some unofficial income as an undergrad that was easier than holding down a job at the time, and he partly enjoyed the rush, which he might not admit. / he’s hooked up with some of his father’s co-workers at the time to spite him for kicking him out and mistreating him. SAVVIES:   well-read, dancing ( flexible ), wit, baking, being the messy mum friend. good cat mom. could talk about mr darcy for hours. a good writer in the making.

PHYSICAL 

BUILD:   scrawny  /  bony  / slender / fit /  athletic / curvy /  herculean  /  pudgy  / average /  muscled. HEIGHT:   6′2″. WEIGHT:    fluctuates due to disordered eating habits. at his best he’s slight but strong from years of dancing, and not skinny. but he will become underweight due to stress or relapsing. SCARS/BIRTHMARKS :   a small, light scar just beneath his right eye. a thick scar on his upper inner thigh. another small scar on his right upper back with a slight ‘L’ shape. he probably won’t talk about them. various self-harm scars on his thighs and arms, some older than others. he’s more open with these, if a little embarrassed. / he has a birth mark on his outer left thigh that he claims looks a tiny bit like a heart. freckles on his cheeks and nose, especially in the summer. they’re also on his shoulders, back, elbows and knees.  ABILITIES/POWERS :   in his main verse, he’s just a plain old human. but he has been a ballet dancer since he was basically a toddler, so he has agility & stamina. i think he’s better at helping others than he realises, sometimes. and he’s smart, even though he doesn’t think so. it definitely is more the book kind than life-choice kind, mind.  RESTRICTIONS :   his reckless impulses combined with mania can cause trouble. an addictive personality combined with being pretty easy to sway negatively. the mix of being too naive growing up and now not trusting anyone. he was the youngest child, and still sometimes can be blind to other people’s complex personalities and lives due to his own issues.

FAVOURITES 

FOOD : cookies & ice cream, anything sweet with marshmallows, salmon dishes. DRINK :  tea, hot chocolate ( especially with cream and marshmallows ), very sweet coffee for when he needs to seem semi-human. PIZZA TOPPING:   plain, or mascarpone with ham & mushrooms.  COLOR(S) :  red, the gay(tm) mustard yellow, dusky lilacs and pinks. MUSIC GENRE:   chart, classical, dance, indie. he’s a fiona apple & kate bush & abba gay. BOOK GENRE:   tragedy & romance. LGBT of course. MOVIE GENRE :   LGBT, romance, weird horror.  SEASONS:  spring. SCENT(S):   soft vanilla. any cotton/linen scented-type candles and products. cherry lip-balm. the sharp alcoholic smell that catches in your throat.

FUN STUFF 

BOTTOM OR TOP :   vers. more on the dominant side, although it depends on his mood & partner it’s important to know: he will want to switch. either way, he’s pretty adventurous.  SINGS IN THE SHOWER  :   oh sure. he doesn’t have a bad voice, luckily. LIKES BAD PUNS:   depends on the mood you catch him in, and who you are. but he is often an imp. CURSE WORD:   the classical fuck. bastard sounds pretty satisfying in his accent, too.

[meggannn]

more for lydia (of course): 21, 24, 45, 49

i am the worst person for taking like a day to respond to this omg

21)   Best Friend(s)?

it’s hard to categorize her best “friends” because for a while she doesn’t really consider them friends, she considers them “acquaintances she has varying degrees of closeness and unique relationships with” while not realizing that like… that is the definition of a friend? lmao (like for example, she only really let herself think of garrus and tali as ‘friends’ instead of ‘crewmembers i’m fond and protective of’ until the shore leave after the battle of the citadel. though while she was close with her me1 crew, i do think me2 is the first time she realizes she’s allowed to think of her team as friends too.

me1: kaidan and ashley at least in the beginning. by the end of the game i think she’s closer to tali as well

me2: at first, garrus and kasumi, and later when they join, tali and samara. i say this with like, knowing she has fondness for all of her crew

me3: garrus and, after renewing their relationship, ashley

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them?

not with any of those mentioned above, though i think her relationships with miranda and jack in 2 are a little… not adversarial, but shepard is wary of them as much as she likes them. miranda for obvious reasons, and jack because she genuinely likes her after a while but being around her for so long is a bit of a drain on her energy, since she kind of reminds her of the kids from her old gangs. zaeed she definitely has a love/hate relationship with in 2, in that she appreciates his talks and advice but doesn’t appreciate his attitude and volatile unpredictability.

45)   Do they use social media?

lmfao I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT SHEPARD ON SOCIAL MEDIA OKAY YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED ME THIS, it’s not that she’s very tech savvy (though there’s some proficiency with hacking) just growing up as a teenager on earth who stole/resold a lot of omnitools and translators and laptops, she had very few other pasttimes when cash wasn’t coming in. i think she was really into social media during ict training with other candidates, as a way of bonding and non-physical de-stressing. and she obviously knows a lot of online slang and shitty corners of the internet from her teenage days. in the alliance she goes through periods of activity followed by periods of forgetting about the internet at all, like when she’s on missions.

by me1, she’s established enough that i think she’s convinced herself a commander shouldn’t post on social media, that’s not appropriate, blah blah. so for a while she’s mostly quiet with only occasional funny but nonoffensive comments on things like pop culture or whatever. then after the battle of the citadel she gets a huuuuge influx of followers, and she’s like ??? cause she doesn’t use her space twitter much, so she kinda posts once like "hey thanks for the support, look out for my album coming out next spring” and everybody loves it, until she starts talking about the reapers publicly and preparing for war, then everybody’s like “god shut up i thought you were cool” so she gets angry when it becomes apparent that most people just want a figurehead, not her to actually say anything, but she can’t go back to making jokes and pretending things are normal, so she stops posting altogether. maybe like, once or twice more about something irrelevant, and then three weeks later she’s dead. (and then her crew like garrus and tali in particular waste so much time on the internet looking at her online profiles, rereading her last posts, hunting through years worth of her feed far back enough to see she was a different person once, both of them in mourning but garrus denying it)

and then me2 happens, and she’s obviously not thinking about social media for a while. when she does, it’s like maybe midway through the game, like maybe on illium kasumi drags her out to dinner cause she found authentic thai in the markets, and shepard’s just content enough to think “this is the kind of meal you post a picture about and share on social media” and she considers it before remembering oh yeah i was dead……. is my account even still there? how weird would it be to suddenly post out of nowhere again? i know the rumor is i was just under cover, but would it help or hurt the war to treat this like normal? and she basically overanalyzes and decides not to say anything at all. (in reality i think after she died her account was given the space equivalent of a twitter verification, like Yes This Was The Real Shepard’s Account, Tweets Might Be Recorded, which she only discovers after she logs in on a whim back on the ship). i don’t think she breaks this social media fast until she either uses it one day because she 1) completely forgets she was avoiding it, like she just wakes up randomly and types “i had the weirdest fuckin dream let me tell yall about it” because she’s still half asleep and convinces herself it’s a good idea, then goes back to sleep and wakes up to a million notifications like “i KNEW YOU WERE BACK!!” and “SOMEONE HACKED SHEPARD’S ACCOUNT THAT’S DISGRACEFUL” and she’s like oh boy. OR 2) she gets so heated over something stupid (that is definitely about human pop culture) that she completely forgets/doesnt give a rat’s ass anymore about maintaining silence online. like “I JUST HEARD SPACE BEYONCE WASN’T NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY LAST YEAR. WHAT THE FUCK?” after the collector base, she feels a little more freedom to be funny and has the time to engage and post about pop culture again, so she gains some attention back for that

by me3, coming out of alliance-imposed isolation, i think she takes back to the internet whenever she can, for better or worse, but because most of the news she swallows is so awful, she tries to be positive and reach out to people who @ her, like she doesn’t want to lie to them, but she tries to signal boost official evacuation and relocation efforts and stuff. when the alliance starts gaining allies, there’s a little bit of expectation for her to use her accounts as a political “so honored the turian hierarchy is joining us” blah blah kind of tweet, so she’s kind of like…. well people deserve to know we’ve made an accord, but i’m gonna do it my way, and she essentially starts sharing all the stuff that’s happening on the citadel that might get easily lost in translation, like

“i can confirm councilor udina was just killed by spectre williams after a standoff on the presidum, after he threatened the life of another councilor. we have confirmed that he was compromised by cerberus after his participation in a failed coup. please see the official statement for more details. the death of a high profile politician is always a shock, but to those feeling betrayed, i want every human and alien to be reminded that spectres are chosen to protect the galaxy from both foreign and internal threats. ashley williams takes her role seriously, as do i, and her actions saved lives yesterday. in light of the recent citadel attack, the alliance would also like me to encourage people to remain vigilant against cerberus cyberwarfare and contact with reaper tech. stay safe, everyone.”

just like, very honest, frank statements or clarifications that might not otherwise get out there, with an emphasis on trying to keep morale as high as reasonably possible. it’s not classified info, but she wants people to stay informed, like she wants people across the galaxy being bombarded who think they’ve been abandoned to know that she’s still fighting for them everywhere she can. even though she’s feeling really dejected and pessimistic sometimes i think she’s determined to make other people believe they can win even when she isn’t sure herself.

post-war (AHHA YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE AFTER ME3, DIDNT YOU) as soon as she can travel, she kind of shoves her way into politics via reconstruction efforts despite her unstable health because she’s terrified everything will just go back to normal and the underprivileged people in slums and terminus colonies will be ignored. i think she keeps up the informative trend of letting people know what’s going on, like explaining what this or that emergency bill that was just passed by the council means, ‘cause she’s still new to politics and honesty all this dense language would’ve definitely confused her too. eventually as things start getting more settled she feels less guilty posting about how her day’s going. and then at one point, there is definitely a collective internet freakout when shepard acknowledges/makes a joke about one of the memes about her, and she’s like “what, you guys think i never go online or something?? i was a teenager once, i know how the internet works!” (she actually doesn’t spend that much time in forums or the like, she just learned about the meme from garrus and vega.)

(and then at some point post-war garrus, who used to have a dumbass video game let’s play account that gained a ton of popularity after me1 when shepard found out about it and asked to play turian call of duty with him on it (the vid was entitled “i play turian call of duty with commander shepard (my co)” and was mostly just them horsing around and then it went viral, but he took it down after she died and then purged the whole account/his entire online presence when he went to omega. but anyway a while post-war garrus comes to her like “hey you remember that video we made” “i remember the jokes about it” “well uh, i just managed to fix this old console i found at a flea market, do you want to do it again? yknow just kill time and lift people’s spirits?” so he makes a new account and introduces her to a lot of other games, she’s good at space overwatch but then when she gets cocky he makes her play like turian dark souls or some shit, and they record and post it online for kicks too)

fuck, i still have one more question left to answer???? i spent a fucking lifetime writing up this, I TOLD YOU ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT LYDIA WAS A MISTAKE

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

mostly i dont think she lets herself think about whether she’s a “good” person because emotionally, and morally, she doesn’t feel much different than she was when she was committing crimes for a living (though she knows logically she’s grown a lot, she convinced herself back then that she was justified in doing bad things by just trying to survive, which is… not entirely too different from now). anyway she still feels like she’s trying to make up for who she used to be, like she wants to put more good into the world than the harm she once contributed to, or failing that, she can at least remove as much of the evil in the galaxy as she can. (i keep forgetting to clarify, she didn’t just do petty theft and break-ins and lookouts and illegal reselling, she was occasionally a debt collector and beat people near to the point of death with biotics, and she hated it but it was mostly out of sympathy that she insisted on going instead of another gangster because if it were anyone else she knows they might’ve dismembered or tortured the person too.)

god i still haven’t answered your question. ive been writing for a full hour, keely. the long and short of it is that i think she’s morally gray. i call her paragade for a reason. she tries really hard to be a good person to make up for who she was (who she “had” to be), so she fights to save every life she can, but against enemies that show no remorse or whatnot, some of her old habits of ruthlessness and reluctance to forgive die hard. 

ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY OCS IF YOU FEEL LIKE SCROLLING PAST MORE LONG PARAGRAPHS ON YOUR DASH, YO

[newstfionline]

In Amish Country, the Future Is Calling

By Kevin Granville and Ashley Gilbertson, NY Times, Sept. 15, 2017

A young woman, wearing a traditional full-length Amish dress and white bonnet, stepped away from a farmer’s market, opened her palm and revealed a smartphone. She began to scroll through screens, seemingly oblivious to the activity around her.

Not far away, a man in his late 60s with a silvery beard, wide-brimmed straw hat and suspenders adjusted the settings on a computer-driven crosscut saw. He was soon cutting pieces for gazebos that are sold online and delivered around the country.

The Amish have not given up on horse-drawn buggies. Their rigid abstinence from many kinds of technology has left parts of their lifestyle frozen since the 19th century: no cars, TVs or connections to electric utilities, for example.

But computers and cellphones are making their way into some Amish communities, pushing them--sometimes willingly, often not--into the 21st century.

New technology has created fresh opportunities for prosperity among the Amish, just as it has for people in the rest of the world. A contractor can call a customer from a job site. A store owner’s software can make quick work of payroll and inventory tasks. A bakery can take credit cards.

But for people bound by a separation from much of the outside world, new tech devices have brought fears about the consequence of internet access. There are worries about pornography; about whether social networks will lead sons and daughters to date non-Amish friends; and about connecting to a world of seemingly limitless possibilities.

“Amish life is about recognizing the value of agreed-upon limits,” said Erik Wesner, an author who runs a blog, Amish America, “and the spirit of the internet cuts against the idea of limits.”

John, who works a computerized saw at Amish Country Gazebos near Lancaster, Pa., likened it to the prohibition on automobiles.

“Not using cars is a way of keeping us together,” he said. (Like most of the people interviewed for this article, he declined to give his surname, out of an Amish sense of humility; many refrained from having their faces photographed for the same reason.)

“There’s always a concern about what would lead our young folk out of the church and into the world,” John added.

The internet also threatens another Amish bonding agent: For a society in which formal education ends after eighth grade, youngsters learn a trade or craft alongside a relative or other member of the community.

“If you can just look it up on the internet, you’re not thinking,” said Levi, another woodworker. “The more people rely on technology, the more we want to sit behind a desk. But you can’t build a house sitting behind a desk.”

“My concern for our future, for our own children,” he said, “is that they lose their work ethic.”

Some young people do not agree.

Marylin, 18, said that when she and her friends gathered for church activities, “Our youth leaders ask us to respect that we’re together and not use the phones, so we only check our messages and the time and stuff.”

But she insisted that some leniency was necessary.

“We can’t live like we did 50 years ago because so much has changed,” she said. “You can’t expect us to stay the same way. We love our way of life, but a bit of change is good.”

The Amish community is growing at a rate that may surprise outsiders--and that growth is helping to push the sect’s adoption of technology.

The Amish population in the United States is estimated at around 313,000, up nearly 150 percent from 25 years ago, according to researchers at Elizabethtown College near Lancaster. Large families are the chief reason: Married women have seven children on average, and Amish people marry at a higher rate and at a younger age than Americans over all.

In the Lancaster area, as open land has become scarce and more costly, the rapid population growth has push some Amish families into more rural areas in places like upstate New York. Others have left farming and moved into business trades. Moses Smucker, for example, opened a food store and sandwich shop at Philadelphia’s popular Reading Terminal Market. Six days a week, he is driven from the Lancaster area to Philadelphia.

“Philadelphia is very fast-paced,” he said. “Then I go home, and I can drive my horse. I enjoy horses. Some people don’t, but I do. It slows everything down.”

His business, Smucker’s Quality Meats and Grill, caters to tourists and office workers near City Hall. It takes credit cards, and has four and a half stars on Yelp. (“Pot roast beef sandwich was PUUURFECT!!” one reviewer wrote.)

Referring to technology, Mr. Smucker said, “You have to do what you have to do to stay in business. People are starting to understand that.”

There are probably 2,000 successful Amish businesses in the Lancaster area, many of them multimillion-dollar enterprises, said Donald B. Kraybill, a retired professor at Elizabethtown’s Young Center for Anabaptist and Pietist Studies.

This “very entrepreneurial, very capitalistic” tendency, he said, was all the more remarkable because it was channeled through a “culture of restraint.”

Many Amish people draw a bright line between what is allowed at work--smartphones, internet access--and what remains forbidden at home.

Still, the divisions can get fuzzy. Connecting a house to the public utility is unheard of, but many homes are electrified with power generators and solar panels. Propane-powered refrigerators are found in many kitchens. And “Amish taxi” services, driven by non-Amish people, provide a way to get around without violating the rule against owning a car.

John, the woodworker at Amish Country Gazebos, spends part of his time operating the computer-guided saw, which would look at home in any modern cabinetry shop. His mastery of the machine, at 68, can be a source of teasing at home.

“We call him the computer geek sometimes,” said his son, Junior, laughing as the family sat down to supper.

The crowd around the table on this evening made for an Amish tableau. John and his wife, Lizzie, were there, along with Junior, his wife, their four daughters, and a son who had been born at home just five days before.

Lizzie had prepared steak, potatoes, and corn, with watermelon from the garden for dessert. The family members bowed their heads to say grace. No buzzing phone would interrupt this meal.

John had his worries about where technology was taking the Amish community.

“We’re not supposed to have computers; we’re not supposed to have cellphones,” he said. “We’re allowed to have a phone, but not in the house. But to do business, you need a computer, or access to one, and that phone moves into the house. So how do you balance that?”

Lizzie said she was upset by how people had become so attached to their phones.

“People are treating those phones like they are gods,” she said. “They’re bowing down to it at the table, bowing down to it when they’re walking. Here we say we don’t bow down to idols, and that’s getting dangerously close, I think.”

Professor Kraybill said such insights were not unusual among Amish people.

They “are more savvy about the impact of technology on human interactions than most of us are,” he said.

Mr. Wesner said that Amish concerns about the effects of constant cellphone use may be borne out in the wider world. Things are said online that would never be said in public. The speed and accessibility of communicating online can lead people to be impatient and dissatisfied with a slower, more deliberate life. Regular use of cellphones can result in an over-reliance on machines and technology to solve problems.

And a phone can pull individuals away from a group.

“A cellphone and some earbuds are all it takes to place yourself in your own world, isolated from the rest of society,” Mr. Wesner said. “In some sense that is profoundly anti-Amish.”

For now, some people in the Amish community seem to be able to keep modern technology at arm’s length.

Sam, 29, who used to make deliveries for Amish Country Gazebos, now works on a computer in the company’s shop. Learning to use the machine was a challenge for him.

“I thought, I need to know how this computer thinks, or the computer needs to know how I think--we need to get along!” he said. Now, he added, he is amazed at how productive the computer can be. “I can easily see it helping as far as numbers go--oh my goodness--to get rid of all these papers.”

But technology has its place, he said, and that is at work. Speaking outside his home near Lancaster one sun-dappled day, he said, “I’ve never thought about bringing a computer onto this property.”

Not far away, his wife was cutting the lawn with a push mower, the blades making a soft whirring sound as they scissored the grass. And in a nearby vegetable patch, his two young sons were chasing butterflies.

[enjolrasoftheday]

Any chance of a few good modern au fic recs for this piece of enjoltaire trash?

oh I’m sure I could think of a few… *winks with both eyes at the same time*(also, here’s a list I made from a while back of some good e/R fics!)

Still the One by kjack89

Enjolras and Grantaire’s 50th wedding anniversary.

I don’t want to give it away, so I’m just going to say you should read it. Seriously

Word Count: 3,438

Oblivious by kjack89

The trouble with approaching your relationship the same way you approached your at-times contentious friendship is that apparently, no one realizes you’re actually dating. Or else Enjolras and Grantaire just have the absolute most oblivious of friends.

Or both.

I’m so used to the “everyone except Enjolras and Grantaire knows they like each other” trope, so this one was really fun to read!

Word Count: 4,567

flightless bird by sarahyyy

Combeferre grins. “How long did you wait before you called me?”

There is a short pause. “Two minutes?” Grantaire says, and Combeferre can’t help but to huff out a laugh. “He said three hours!” Grantaire says defensively.

“He’s fine,” Combeferre says, shaking his head in amusement. “He’ll call. He always calls.”

Damn….it’s the slight ambiguity at the end that gets me… (not to be read if you’re in the mood for fluff!! You might cry!!)

Word Count: 1,883

Years Since It’s Been Clear by lady_ragnell

Grantaire really doesn’t expect Enjolras to force him to move in with him when he hears how shitty Grantaire’s apartment is. And he definitely doesn’t expect Enjolras to want him to stay, or how easy it turns out to be, or the way Enjolras has a habit of doing his studying in the sunshine on the living room floor …

Yeah, he may be in some trouble.

Everything. Everything about this. SO GOOD (ps there’s some smut at the very end, just in case you’re not into that)

Word Count: 10,726

Of Roommates And Hallways by madlyie 

Prompt: “we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other” au

Enjolras learns that the guy from apartment No. 27 is much more talkative than a closed door.

Ok this is super frickin cute and the ending is just perfect. 11/10

Word Count: 1,376

I’ll be your Shelter, I’ll be your Storm by missandrogyny

Just pay me back with one thousand kisses.

Fluff! So much fluff! Good things and happy thoughts!

Word Count: 5,532

One Hundred Ways to Say “I Love You” by the_sky_is_forever

In which Grantaire and Enjolras take a very long time to actually say those three special words, but if you pay attention, the words are there.

Love love love love love. I felt super content (in an “I’m wrapped up in a warm blanket sitting in front of a fire on a cold winter’s day” way) after reading this and honestly that’s one of the best feelings to have after reading a fic (for me personally)

Word Count: 16,484

nothing alike by nightswatch

Enjolras comes across a guy who’s trying to steal his car. Except that he’s not actually stealing his car.

The second hand embarrassment is real (I may or may not have buried my face in a blanket while reading this)

Word Count: 2,023

We’re All Stories, In The End by theglitterati

Les Amis discover fanfiction. About themselves.

I had to put this one on here just for fun because I was cackling when I read it

Word Count: 2,210

Ice Ice Baby by sigh_no_more

In the almost four years that Enjolras had known his friends, he always managed to avoid ice skating with them. This was very purposeful. It had to be. After all, they lived in the Northeast, so plenty of opportunities arose for him to go ice skating. He just never took advantage of them. Because Enjolras had a secret. A dark, terrible secret.

Given how nosy and internet savvy his friends were, it was kind of a miracle that only Combeferre and Courfeyrac knew about his past.

But it was time.

(Or the Amis go ice-skating and find out a surprising truth about Enjolras.)

Ok I had to include this one on here too because when I was rereading it just now, it kinda reminded me of Yuri on Ice and that made me happy sooo :)

Word Count: 2,945

[sheilasministry]

Jesus is with many people who say He Is God Alone Jesus. If I can say it so can you. Well I’m here to say it in my life many times but I’m here to say it as much as I can to as many people as I can before I’m done here on this planet. Well no one said I was perfect. Only God Is Perfect God here on this old dead planet. So go do your own blog’s & I will do this for God Jesus Alone. No one can be with God too much. So if you think I’m just here for the fun of it. Well go do your own thing with God Jesus then & leave me out of your problem life now. Okay I’m here to say this about me. I have a lot of stuff to start doing & I’m doing it on a moment to moment basis daily. So what do you have to sort out for you who are reading this blog now? I’m saying things for & about God. What is it about God that we want to talk about anyway? Well Jesus Is God with God Jehovah & God The Holy Spirit. No one can be in Heaven unless we all Confess Jesus Is God to. Don’t worry about all of the extra God put’s into His tweets or blog’s. He Is God Alone. He can say what He wants about Who He Is as God Alone with Three in Presence as One but yet Still One God Alone. So what’s wrong with that people? Okay I have a thing about knowing some things about God Jesus like anyone else. I listen to what they say & if it’s different then what I’m used to hearing. Well I just listen & God says whether it is correct or not. That has happened only once but they are young & still learning about God’s Heart with them. So I didn’t say anything because I know their heart is right with God Jesus. Some think I think I know it all here on this site. Well that is not true at all. I’m saying it here & people aren’t used to seeing God’s Word spoken so blunt on live internet that’s all. So go do your own thing with God in your life to. I’m not here to soften anything in God’s Word. It’s meant for me & ALL around this world now & up until God’s Return here for us who say God’s Name Is Jesus with God Jehovah. Two people just popped into my thought’s. One is a friend & one is an acquaintance of mine for sometime. So they know who I’am with God Jesus & they are in Heaven to. Now one of them is my partner in pickle ball. I know that name is fun to say & not so much to see here on the internet but I have people who say; Hey I play that game to. It’s really fun. So go try it. You will be better off for it to. It’s a healthy fun sport. Okay my partner in pickle ball is not too concerned about me but I’m not young. So I know we won’t win but I will give it my best. Okay I’m not that fun to see but I can hit the ball just as good as pretty much any good player. So I will do my best & move on. It will be fun & I’m as ready to play as I can be. Anyway, I’m here to say that some have not been here for a while because I have not been online. My computer fell down. I know what is the difference if it fell down, broke down or simply just crashed? Some people think I can write good. Others think I can write well. It’s the same to me. So write on your own. I’m not a professional writer I play pickle ball remember? So if I can write something about God Jesus then you can to. Okay where was I when I got into something I probably shouldn’t have? Oh it wasn’t me. Whew, I’m always in trouble with God but not this time. It’s someone with me. Okay who would that be? Hmm, I don’t know who that is. Well it’s someone I know well. He is not with too many people in his life but is now with God more. That’s good but if God came now he would not be here. Why? Because I Pray for him daily in my life to make sure my friend’s, family & anyone I have met, smiled at, shook hand’s with or just said hi to driving by some place or waved at from my car or standing on a corner some place. Well I make sure all are Prayed for by the time I’m home & Praying for them at the end of my day. God told me last year that all who I have been Praying for were Saved & in Heaven now. So even if they all said no or say no now to Jesus as God or don’t believe in God at all. Well they are Saved & their names are written in Heaven Forever & Ever. I can’t say that I’m exactly sure it was God saying that to me in the morning as I was waking up but I know this. They know God Is God Forever & said this to me not to long ago about all of them except one. That is this. His life here is going to be so much more fun when he see’s how much fun I’m having with God Jesus in time. Well it’s been some fun but it’s not as much as I would like it to be. I’m not in Heaven with God much through The Holy Spirit but it will happen when I’m done here. So this person says no now but will say yes soon. So that is that with that. Okay I have a fan or two here now reading God’s blog from yesterday. They say they want more of Harry but I say whatever God says to say. He wants it more about Him. So I’m here for God anyway & here I go again. I have two people who need God more in their life. I will keep Praying for both of them but one of them doesn’t understand who he is as a child of God. So I keep Praying some day soon he will. Okay I’m not here to be with me. I’m here to say what God says is the right thing to say anytime I’m out in public. So I write well here but my public speaking skill’s are a little off. So I practice being with people more. I will be out more but not for a bit. I want to get thing’s done for our family to & that all takes time & energy. My thought’s are not with God much but all of my time I can be. So when I’m here I’m thinking about God being with me & as many people as He can be until His Return. Okay I’m not done yet but my life is still here. I have people I can go see but their life is nut’s to. So what does that say about here on this planet? Okay I have some good news kind of. I wrote some blog’s for some people & they are not interested but kind of. I really don’t care because it’s for free anyway but some of the people see something different in these two short writing’s that might take them to God’s Heart in time. They know about this site now. So if I can do anything about what it is they are wanting in blog’s. Well God can provide it for them every time. So that’s it for that. Except they know who I’am now. So I’m not sure if they want a Ministry attached to their blog’s but God is in control. So I give it to Him. It’s not paying to write here but I get to say anything I want about God’s Heart with me here. So I’m not that excited to write but some people would like to see what God has to say about what? I don’t know. Okay I’m not the most savvy person on this internet. I know little about internet jargon. So if they say something in another language called computer talk. Well I’m out of it right from the get go. I’m not here to be a computer person. I’m here to share Gods word from Him & from the Bible. I know I had something to eat about two hours ago & I was pretty full & now I’m getting hungry again. That’s a good sign. Maybe I didn’t over eat after all. Okay I have a weight thing but I’m not really too much over weight but at my age I have to be careful about what they say is too much cholesterol. So I had a fairly healthy lunch but I have to drink more water so I can keep my figure to my acceptable weight. Okay I think I can say this for God. Someone just said I have a gift to gab. So why not take it to the gab site. What is a gab site? I will check that out. Maybe I can get a gab site for God Jesus going. I think they were kidding but God says for me to just check it out. Okay I will. I know it’s probably not there but I will see if it exists. I know that God Exists. Do you out there now reading this blog? Well you know I have some laundry in the washer but I will wait until I’m done here. It’s not much today but it’s fun to relax & just be here. I think I’m supposed to be doing a Sermon but I didn’t Pray about that. God says what He wants & then just moves on. He Is God Alone with God Jehovah & God The Holy Spirit. They are One God Together but yet Three in the Presence of Still One God Alone. Okay someone from Hollywood buzz town just popped into my thought’s again. He is well known to. So it will be fun to know when he says God Is Jesus like Infinitely & Forever with me & many around this old world now. Okay I’m not going to be left behind but my dream’s God is giving me are really so real that I can’t decide if I’m in trouble again. Or if He is saying something to me about people now. God says that is correct. The second one is correct but I have growing to do but not as much as before. So I’m good with that. I know I Pray about that daily. Okay this guy from Hollywood buzz town is someone I know well. I have seen many of his movies & they are good. He is very Blessed but never has said thank you to God for all that he has been Blessed with. So if I can say this. I know I just started thanking God daily not to long ago. I have said thank you a few times but I say God’s Name daily now & have said His Name daily for years. I just didn’t say thank you for all of His Blessing’s. So now I do so daily. I Pray all will say thank you God Jesus for your Blessing’s in our lives. It’s been a hit & miss for all who have good luck in our life or not. So if I can do one more thing before God says done for now. I will say God Is Jesus with God Jehovah & God The Holy Spirit. It’s one God Forever & Ever that we will Worship. He Is Infinite God Alone. No one can be with God Jehovah unless we say & believe Jesus Is God to with God Jehovah. So that’s it for now. I have to go get my laundry but before I do I want to say this. I can’t be here all of my time but when I’m here it’s for God to decide what He says here. I’m just here to be His writer of His word’s & that’s it for now. You will all have to wait a little longer for me. I have to be some place this week. I make time for my fun time but God says we all need to be out more to. So I’m here but with people in my life is not much. I’m saying I like to make fun but it’s not that much fun if I’m not with people who need God to in their life. So if I can make it to Church. I guess I can turn down that volume myself. I mean, do they have to make it so loud? I will just leave & I did but my time with others is not that much fun. I just make it up as I go. So I have to be out but it’s hard to say I’m having as much fun as I want. All of these Churches have their time frame & situation’s & whatever else they have going on. I could be involved with one or some of them but my heart is not there now. I’m not sure why. I want more of the people to be with but that’s hard to do when they are with someone for so long. Or they just leave so quickly after a Service. So that’s it for now. I will keep being with God more & I will make it work for God the best I can & Pray God will help me to improve my best. I know all around me have to do the same to. So bye for now.