#he knows. he knows that they're together. this great secret the two of them share. and he knows how much she means to Mo

[k-aay]

WHAT... MY GIRL?

synopsis :: when their friend confesses to liking a certain someone that they are very familiar with. but they cannot do anything since they're supposed to keep the relationship a secret. and it's someone they'll never let go no matter how close they are. so what do they do in that situation? featuring :: gojo, geto, nanami, choso, toji, sukuna (part 1/2)

☆ GOJO

As he walks over to his friend through the crowded party, he notices him staring intently somewhere. Being the nosy little brat he is, he decides to search where his eyes meet. So he traces it through his eyes, finding the "entertaining" sight his best friend has his eyes on. To his surprise, he didn't like where this was going. He was admiring you as you talked with other people, of course Gojo couldn't blame him for staring at you like that. But, he had to be sure before he did anything stupid.

"What's so interesting?" he questions, tracing his fingers over the rim of the red, plastic cup. His sudden question snaps his friend out from dazing off in you. "Oh- uh." He sighs, taking a moment to think before speaking. "I shouldn't be telling you this," Geto begins. Gojo's heart started beating faster, feeling nothing but nervousness was over him. "You know y/n, right?" Then, he feels his heart shatter. You walk towards the table with all the drinks where they were, causing the two of them to go more silent. "...Yeah?" he answers. "I think I like h-"

"Stop." You hear the sudden seriousness in your boyfriend's tone, causing you to wonder what the two of them were talking about. "What?" Geto was confused at the quick mood-switch in his best friend. "I shouldn't be telling you this but y/n and I are together." You flinch at the confession he made loudly to his best friend. He knew what he was doing and knew that he was going to get an earful from you later on.

But when it came to the idea of someone-even his best friend-being with you, he couldn't help it. "She's off-limits."

☆ GETO

For him, it was normal for his best friend to be with a different girl each week. Geto knew that he would never take any of them seriously and would end their relationship once he felt bored. Which was very often. So when he saw him attempting (key word: attempting) to flirt with his new target, he thought that it was nothing out of the ordinary. Until he noticed the beautiful and memorable figure he could never forget, the one of his own girlfriend.

It killed him that he couldn't just punch Gojo in the face for even thinking about you in that way. It wasn't just the fact that you were already taken by him, but the fact that even if you weren't, Gojo would get bored of you after a week and toss you to the curb like all the other women he played. And to Geto, you weren't just some random source for his best friend to get entertained by. You were his girlfriend. He walks up to the two of you, not even planning on the move he's going to make once he reaches you.

"Hey, what are we talking about here?" he interrupts Gojo from telling the same story he told all the other girls he's flirted with. You could see the irritation in his eyes and how his fists were clenched, physically restraining himself from making a scene. As Gojo continued blabbering, Geto wrapped his arm around your waist. "That's great, man. But you're going to have to find someone else, y/n over here isn't available right now."

"Why are you acting like this so suddenly, Suguru?" he smirks, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Because this is my girlfriend that you're flirting with right now. Fuck off."

☆ NANAMI

Nanami isn't one for getting into unreasonable trouble unless, in his opinion, the situation absolutely calls for it. He's not one to stoop so low to be jealous. He had no reason to. That was until his friend walked up to him, looking all giddy. He rolled his eyes, knowing it was going to be something stupid. But he let him share his thoughts anyways. "What?" Nanami questioned. "Hmm? Nothing," Ino spoke. "Okay," the man spoke flatly, not having the energy to pursue this further.

"Fine, I'll tell you." The shade of pink painted Ino's cheeks as he was smiling uncontrollably. It felt like he was a middle-schooler confessing to his crush. "You know that one girl," he begins. "You're going to have to be more specific. There are many women on this planet." Ino rolls his eyes, "y/n. She's so pretty!" This is when the situation called for "unreasonable trouble." He didn't know what to say, many thoughts rushed to his brain as he thought of the best response.

"I heard she had a boyfriend," he says. The sparkle in Ino's eyes flashed away. "Really!?" he yells. "Who? How do you know? Who told you?" Nanami knew he dug the hole deeper when the mountain of questions were spat at him. "Umm. I'm not sure who her boyfriend is and I heard it from one of her friends." Ino took a moment to think before he shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe her friend is lying to you. I'll just ask y/n myself."

"No!" Nanami yells suddenly. Even he was taken aback from his sudden reaction. "Damn, are you okay?" Ino flinches. "Yes, I'm okay. I'm not sure it's a good idea to ask her though." He fixes the positioning of his glasses. "Why not?" Nanami's cheeks started turning a suspicious shade of pink. "She's... in a relationship. With me. So don't ask her out."

[milunalupin]

hi hi hi! so many congrats on a 100 followers, what a deserved accomplishment, love!!

you can obviously ignore this if you're uncomfortable writing this/or this doesn't hit your creative spot. because this is so cliched uggh.

okay so i was thinking maybe a little grumpy!reader x sunshine!sirius, friends to lovers trope? (it makes so weak in the knees 🫠.) feel free to take the plot literally anywhere your heart desires, because you'll serve either ways!!

love you, make sure to drink water and eat good. hope you have a great day/night ahead.

--🍁autumn

hi hi my love ! thank you for you patience <3 and adding more sirius to my blog

— sunshine

sunshine!sirius x grumpy!reader ★ 1.2k words

"Sirius Black if you don't stop tapping your finger against the table, I will not hesitate to hex you."

You sent a glare towards the raven haired boy from across the table. History of Magic was your worst subject and you had a big exam coming up. "Why aren't you with the other boys anyways?"

It's not like you two weren't friends, but Sirius wasn't usually the one to seek you out. It was usually Peter since he was the one who introduced you to his friends, then Remus who at times also enjoyed his peace and quiet. You spent quite a bit of time with the girls too, especially since you all roomed together. James and Sirius had always been friendly with you, but it wasn't like you would stay up in the common room sharing secrets, although Sirius had recently been around you more than than normal.

"Well aren't you just a ray of light." Sirius sent you a lopsided grin, setting his elbows on the table and resting his head on his hands. "They're out somewhere with Prongs looking for Evans, and I wanted to see my favorite girl."

Your quill froze over the parchment. Sirius was such a flirt, you couldn't take anything he said to you to heart, because he didn't mean it, right? You lowered your head and tried to focus on your notes, pretending like you didn't hear him.

"Anyways," he chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "You know about his problem with Evans, and you're a girl, could you give me some advice to relay back to him?"

"Thanks for noticing. What kind of advice?"

"Well, what sort of things do girls like to receive?"

"I don't know Sirius, I don't regularly receive gifts from boys." You rolled your eyes and scoffed, glancing up at him to see his eyes on you, waiting for an answer. "but I supposed I would quite like it if someone brought me my favorite drink, or book. You know, it shows that they've paid attention to the little things."

"So how would you- girls-" he let out a shaky laugh, his cheeks tinged pink. "How would girls like to be asked on a date?"

How would you know? You didn't want to speak negatively of yourself but there had to be some reason as to why boys never came up to you. You would never guess that it was because Sirius had already warned the whole male population at Hogwarts to back off his very pretty friend.

Groaning quietly, you rubbed your hands over your tired face. "Sirius, I don't know, can you please let me review my notes in peace?"

"That doesn't count, you're not being fair." Peter whined, pulling on his hair as he looked down at the chessboard. You shrugged and stuck your tongue out at the boy, getting up and taking a seat on the carpet by the fire next to Lily.

It was the night before your exam and as much as you wanted to hole up in your room and cram, your friends had convinced you to spend time with them. Lily was painting Marlene's fingernails while Remus took your place playing against Peter in chess.

"Who wants hot chocolate!" James called out, Sirius and him walking towards you all with trays of steaming mugs. The two passed out the sweet beverages,

"Thanks Sirius." you thanked him softly, his gaze softening as you wrapped your hands around the warm drink and blew gently on the top. Your eyes brightened as you took a sip and tasted a hint of peppermint.

The rest of the evening was spent playing games, dancing to Remus' new records and sharing Peter's surplus of sweets from Honeydukes. You felt your shoulders relax as you looked around at your friends having a good time, catching Sirius already looking you. His eyes darted away as soon as you saw him, the corners crinkling as he laughed as some joke James had made. You felt a nudge in your side, turning to see Lily cocking her head towards the dorms asking if you were ready to go. Nodding, the three of you girls stood up and waved goodnight to the Marauders and shuffled up to your room.

You flopped into bed with a blissful sigh. "Thanks for tonight guys, I needed this."

Marlene waved her hand in dismissal. "You've studied hard, you needed a bit of a break."

"The peppermint hot chocolate was just the thing I needed, it's my favorite."

"Peppermint hot chocolate?" Lily's nose scrunched with disgust, but then her eyes widened with realization, her and Marlene sharing a knowing grin. "Right, the peppermint hot chocolate."

You turned your head to squint at them. "Why do you two have that look on your faces?"

"We don't know what you're talking about, goodnight!"

You're going to pass the exam, you're to going to p—

"Watch it, you half-breed, or I'll turn you into the little mutt you are." Lucius Malfoy spat at you as you ran into him, pulling out his wand.

"Oh sod off, why don't you put your daddy's money where your mouth is?" you scoffed, reaching for your own wand. He sneered at your comeback, taking a step closer to you.

"Hey sunshine, I was looking everywhere for you! Let me walk you to class." Sirius appeared next to you, taking your school bag and slinging it over his shoulder, shooting a grin to Lucius, canines on full display. "Thanks for watching her for me Malfoy but next time, don't."

Sirius steered you away from the fuming Slytherin, arm around your shoulder. He ducked his head down to speak to you quietly. "You alright?"

"Fine, boys are just jerks." you grumbled, your mind now focusing on your exam as you two turned into the hall where your classroom was located.

"Not all of us though, right?"

The corner of his mouth lifted, your smiled mirroring his own. "Yeah, Pete's alright."

"You're killing me doll." He threw his head back dramatically, his smile slipping as yours did, now standing in front of the History of Magic classroom. "Hey, how about we made a deal?"

"Huh?" you pulled yourself out of a daze, looking up at him. "What's the deal?"

Sirius coughed to the side and straightened his posture. "You get an Outstanding on your exam, and I'll take you out."

A flush crept up your face, not believing your ears. As annoying as he was, of course you had thought about Sirius romantically before, who hadn't? You really hoped your studying paid off, your smile and voice coming out shy. "What if I don't get an Outstanding?"

Sirius lit up like the Great Hall during the holidays, smiling ear to ear. "Then I'm still taking you out to cheer you up. I also have just been dying to take you on a date, sunshine."

An hour later you left the classroom with a giant smile on your face and a big 'O' on your parchment. Sirius immediately took your hand in his and dragged you to Hogsmeade for your first date, the twinkling sound of your laughter letting him know it wouldn't be your last.

[cheonstapes]

😝 omg I absolutely loved the way u wrote spider barbie!!! Thanks again so much!! 💕✨

If it’s not too much of a bother, I would like to send in another request lol. 😅 (unless there’s a limit on how many requests can be sent, I completely understand 😊)

I would like to request Miguel O’Haraxfem!Jessica rabbit inspired reader. She’s the most beautiful & generous spider woman across the multiverse, which makes sense since she’s also the most desired among the spiders. Maybe one day she’s hanging out w/ her friends (Miles, Gwen, Hobie, Pavitr, & Peter) at the spider society cafeteria when everyone in the group could be discussing their Valentine’s Day plans. Until they decide to ask her if she has a date or any upcoming plans (The spider gang not knowing she’s already married to Miguel 😂) When asked she just zones out and has flashbacks about all the multiple dates her and miguel went on throughout the multiverse, including the spicy times they shared together~ 😉

When asked again, she lets them know tht she’s already in an established relationship w/ Miguel; which makes the spider gang’s jaws drop bcuz even though miguel is a good looking guy they can’t understand how a ray of sunshine like her ended up with someone as serious and angry like Miguel 😂

The spider gang could ask: “What do u see in tht guy?!?!” 😱 Spider-reader: “He makes me laugh..😏”

Thanks again! 😊🙏🏻

miguel o'hara stars in... 'WAIT...YOU'RE ROGER RABBIT?' (°ロ°) !

a/n ~ i absolutely love jessica rabbit, girlboss, she's so hot. TYSM for this request my love!!!! there's never a limit ( ` ω ´ ) send as many as you want bby 💗 i went a little overboard but this was so fun to write!! ALSO ITS MIGUELS BIRTHDAY!!

summary; it's valentine's day at hq, and everyone can't help but wonder why you're still single.

pairing; miguel o'hara x reader

wc; 2.3k+

cw; FLUFF!! SMUT!!, secret relationship, pining, no one can believe you n miguel are together, loss of virginity, m!masturbation, pillow fuckin, fleshlights, miguel fucks an ai you, first time, established relationship, reader is very popular, day dreaming abt miguel (real), they're just in love, nawt proofread - crying over this

valentine’s day at hq was always fun - for you least.

every year since you joined the spider society it seemed like the gifts would multiply - what stared out as some cute cards and a couple boxes of chocolate eventually turned into bouquets of roses, teddies, gifts, and even declaration’s of love. it was all flattering, honestly. to know that so many people admired you was a great feeling, even if you can’t reciprocate - it’s the sentiment that counts. but unfortunately you were already spoken for - by none other than your own boss, your fiancé, miguel. 

having started with such a beloved reputation was one of the main reasons your husband-to-be actually avoided you at first. it was like you had your own personal fan club - spiders’ following you around where you go, people offering to by you lunch, begging miguel to put you on a mission with them, showering you with compliments. you were really irritating to him, another distraction he didn’t have the time to deal with - not that he wanted to anyway. well, that was until he did. 

gradually, he started to notice how your eyes would light up when you’d see something you like, how you’d wear that one perfume thats scent would linger a bit too long in the air, ages after you’ve already sped off down the hallway. he warmed up to you eventually, leading to you two spending a lot more time together. little dates in the different universes, him picking up a little souvenir for you on missions and you doing the same - eventually leading to you two moving in together, and then him proposing. keeping you two’s relationship a secret was a decision that you both had to make, considering how popular you were and that miguel’s your boss. so every valentine’s day, you both celebrate together privately in miguel’s nueva york condo - exchanging gifts and kisses, drinking till you fall asleep in each other’s arms. this year, however, was a little different. 

hiding a relationship isn’t the easiest thing in the word, especially at a time like this - when all you want to do is pounce on your fiancé every time you see him ’n kiss him till you’re both breathless. it was getting tiring. it’s the day of love and you can’t do the one thing the day is about, love someone. you’d both send lingering glances at each other throughout the day, sneaky touches when no one’s looking, maybe even a few quick make out sesh’s in miguel’s office. you both knew you wouldn’t make it through the rest of the day, eventually separating as you sat in the canteen with some of your spider-friends - ones miguel wasn’t very keen on eating lunch with, leading to him retreating back to his office alone. 

the table was buzzing as everyone mentioned their plans for the day - miles taking gwen to his universe on a little day out that he swears isn’t a date, pav and gayatri going to her new movie, peter and mj having someone babysit mayday so they can go on a long-overdue date, and hobie - well, he doesn’t believe in valentine’s, i guess. you so badly wanted to join in, silently chewing on your ’spider-man 2099’ themed burger. your fiancé was basically everywhere, how can you not miss him - even if he’s just a couple minutes walk from you. it was bittersweet, to say the least, to listen to your friends so passionately- 

“hey, y/n, any plans this year? please tell me you’re finally dating someone.” the sudden voice made you jump, eyes widening as you look at the culprit, a sly smile on her face. “uhhh, n-no not really.” that was a lie. the whole table groaned their complaints, all still in disbelief that you’re still not seeing anyone. “you serious? love, look at you - and look at them.” hobie gestures to the crowd forming behind the table, all of them holding some sort of gift for you - some more…extravagant than the rest. “there’s no way that you can’t find someone, babe.” i mean, technically, he was right - you could practically get anyone you wanted. but, you already got what you want, and that’s miguel. 

he’s your everything. despite the turbulent start you both had, it was all worth it in the end. miguel loves like you’re his last - which you are, and his first too - in all aspects. hearing your boss was a virgin was even more shocking then him admitting his feelings for you - cause, like, how? you tried so hard not to laugh, he couldn’t be serious. it turns out he was very, very, very serious. you felt so bad, running up to him and holding him tightly - reassuring him that is was ok, that there was nothing wrong with being a virgin no matter his age. you took it slow for the first few months, nothing more than heated kisses and a bit of groping but it never went further than that. to be honest, you were scared. miguel was nothing short of impatient to feel you, to finally sink his cock into you after centuries of you denying him of that. you knew, of course, how desperate he was - but it was a big deal to you. the thing was, you were a virgin too. it was too sudden to mention so you went with keeping it a secret, but damn was it getting harder to not give in. the thought of him leaving after fucking you was at the forefront of your mind, you obviously knew he wouldn’t - but men are still men, right?

when he did find out, it went a hell of a lot better than you expected it to. both of you deciding to take your time learning each other’s bodies, exploring new likes and dislikes, discovering new kinks, and overall - strengthening the love you both hold for each other. your first time was magical. it was exactly three years ago now, on valentines day, sprawled out on miguel’s plush, king sized bed.

“f-fhhuck, feels so good, baby. are…are you doing ok, sweetheart?”

he was so attentive, making sure you felt as comfortable as possible, constantly asking if you’re feeling alright. it couldn’t have been more perfect. miguel’s large frame engulfed you as you sat in his. lap, his body pressed against the headboard. holding you close, he guided your hips slowly against his slick cock, the stretch momentarily caused a sharp pain to run through your body - miguel soothing you with sweet, wet kisses down the side of your sweaty neck. his large hands roamed your body, gripping your hips, waist, gently kneading your ass. the room felt hot, sweat mixing together as your hips move in tandem with his own - it was a prime example of love making. breathless kisses were shared, lips slotting together sloppily as you rode him eagerly - you were such a sight on top of him, a goddess sent just for him. “mig- baby, you’re so- shit, you’re so perfect.” no, you were perfect. soft skin pressing against his solid body, tits rubbing on his - slick running down his length. your moans were like a chorus of angels singing down to him, his heart almost pounding out of his chest from the love he feels for you. 

sharing a moment like this together was a turning point in your relationship. giving each other your virginities, connecting in a way you will never experience with anyone else - you were made for each other. his hips sped up, slamming into your sore cunt as he wrapped his arms around your waist. digging his feet into the soft sheets and pulling your hot body into his, lips latching onto your jaw. you still couldn’t believe he was a virgin before he met you. the way he moved, the way his tip would hit that one spot deep by your cervix, the way his thick fingers would caress your aching nipples - he had to have had some sort of experience. but the truth was, miguel had little to no sex drive. not feeling compelled at all to even rub one off, he was too busy after all - trying to keep the multiverse in tact. that all changed when he met you. suddenly, in his 30 years of living, did he have his first wet dream - and it was about you. 

he felt like a teenager again, learning things for the first time. watching porn for the first time was something, spending hours looking for a woman who looks somewhat like you - much to the interest and concern of LYLA. this was very serious to him, knowing that he would eventually fuck you - he would spend all his free time learning how to please you properly. tutorials, articles, and just plain amateur porn were his best friends. he would practice with his pillow, even buying a fleshlight to stick between it to just make it a little bit more realistic. at one point, he felt like he completely lost it. spending months learning how to fuck you wasn’t making him feel any better, he didn’t feel like he really knew how to please you. so what did he do? he made a holographic version of you, of course!

programming it to be exactly like you, using your measurements from when he made your suit to get your body as accurate as possible. it wasn’t really you, but it was good enough. he still had to work out the kinks but he was getting there. he ditched the porn completely, using ai you to progress instead. fucking an ai isn’t as easy as you think, but it was enough to help him figure out what positions he wants you in, even what ones you’d like statistically. miguel never did end up telling you about it, keeping ai you locked away in a secret folder. he was no stranger in letting you know how obsessed he was with you, but this was just embarrassing to him - and knowing you, he would never live this down. but don’t worry, LYLA’s always here to remind him time and time again. 

miguel was never the same after he lost his virginity to you - he became insatiable. it was like a switch flipped in his brain and suddenly he was always horny for you, quickies in his office becoming daily occurrences. speaking of quickies, you could feel his cum from earlier pooling in your panties right now- 

“yn? YN! is she- is she ok?” oh…you were at lunch still. everyone at the table was staring at. you with raised brows, silently intimidating you into spilling what you were so engrossed in to the point where you missed the whole conversation. you obviously weren’t about to tell them you were just thinking of their boss fucking you into next week, like come on - think about the kids, guys. “i…i, uh- it was nothing really. sorry about that, just zoned out for a sec.” it was something, someone as a matter of fact. you might as well tell them, what’s the harm in it? you’re only gonna get absolutely bombarded by everyone and anyone in hq but that’s the least of your worries. the table had seemingly moved on, chatting about their plans again before you jumped in - “actually, i do have plans.” that certainly got their attention. all eyes were on you, even the crowd still lingering behind perked up at your comment, leaning closer to hear what you had to say. 

“me ’n miguel were just gonna stay ho-“ 

“MIGUEL?!”

gasps. that’s all you could hear. everyones jaws were dropped, blinking their eyes at you like a bunch of frogs. “what? am i not allowed to spend time with my fiancé-“

“FIANCÈ?!”

it’s like every time you spoke it got worse, the table erupting in shouts of disbelief - it was getting difficult to speak over them, the constant questions being thrown at you were overwhelming to say the least. you weren’t obligated to explain yourself, love is love - even if it’s between someone as lovely and sweet as you, and someone as moody and feral as miguel. you guys made it work and that’s all that matters! someone else had something to say on the matter though, the commotion prompting miguel to emerge out of his cave and head straight to you.

“as i was saying, he’s my fiancé, we always spend valentines together. miguel is a great guy. yeah, he’s an asshole - but you just gotta get to know him.” you’re not wrong, miguel certainly seems to agree. the table went silent, staring up at his figure looming over you. “i don’t appreciate you guys harassing my wife. now, if you have no further questions - we have plans tonight, that don’t involve people prying into our privacy.” you spun around in your seat, looking up at him sheepishly. his eyes seemed to warm up at bit, a large hand reaching out to you - one that you immediately take. he held you close to him, interlocking your fingers tightly as he addressed the table. “and…our wedding is next year. you’re all only invited ‘cause she wanted you guys there. do not disappoint her.” with that, he turns on his heels, dragging you along with him - he didn’t want to deal with them anymore, not when he had the rest of the day to spend loving you instead. 

“baby, y’sure you’re ok with everyone knowing about…us?” that was a stupid question. of course he was, you’re his - and he’s yours. “you’re about to be my wife cariño, todo el mundo necesita saber que estás fuera de los límites - ‘specially that fuckin’ fan club of yours.” he was such a big baby, pouting like that. “oh my god! you’re jealous of a bunch of kids who have a little crush on me, babe. ‘sides, i think it’s quite cute - i got so much chocolate this year-“

“throw them away, i’m getting you all that and more.”

-cariño, todo el mundo necesita saber que estás fuera de los límites - sweetheart, everyone needs to know you're off limits

-the miguel figure on my dresser says hi!

[ckret2]

Would Mabel being the reincarnation of Bill cause a rift between her and her family? I imagine that even though they know that Mabel and Bill are two different people it'd be kinda hard to get over the fact they ARE fundamentally the same being,especially for Ford.

Now, that's the problem. They AREN'T two different people. That's the whole point of this specific AU's take on reincarnation. It's not "Mabel happens to now possess the soul that was formerly used by some other guy" but rather "this is that guy after working on himself for thirteen years, she just didn't remember it until now."

"We know you're two different people" is the kind of thing her family might say to be reassuring. But in her ears it'd be like if she's on trial for murder and her family says "We love you because we know you're innocent," when actually she did totally commit that murder, and it was premeditated, and she didn't even have a sympathetic motive. Like it's nice of you guys to say that and I know you mean well, but if you only love me because you think I didn't do anything wrong, would you still love me if you understood the truth?

The biggest rift is on Mabel's end. She's holding back from letting them find out for as long as possible. It's not coming out until they put together the evidence themselves or she has a breakdown and confesses while in tears. And, naturally, when she's trying to keep that big a secret from them, she's gonna be withdrawn.

Like, there's a very high probability that Gideon finds out before any of the Pines do, that's how hard she's trying to keep it from her family.

When they DO start finding out?

Dipper's known Mabel almost fourteen years; he knew Bill two months. He's gonna get over it the fastest.

He's cracking annoying brother jokes before you know it. "I mean—you didn't manage to kill me in the womb, I don't think you're gonna do it now." "I forgive you for the sock puppet thing but now I REALLY wish I'd done more dumb stuff in your body while we were body swapped. As pre-revenge."

If anything, ultimately this turns out to be GREAT news for Dipper. He spent all last summer being pissed off that Bill had all the secrets of the universe and just wouldn't share them, to be a dick. WELL GUESS WHAT. NOW THEY'RE SHARING A BEDROOM. He's keeping her up until 3 a.m. asking about every conspiracy theory in history until Mabel lies "sorry, my memory of that one hasn't come back yet. Maybe my memories would return faster if I could GET SOME SLEEP..."

Stan's known Mabel off and on for fourteen years, and has gotten to know her really well over the past year; he knew Bill for—lemme check how long his death scene is—under two minutes.

Try to tell Stan that Mabel's Bill and his first reaction is "WELL THAT'S STUPID AND I DON'T BELIEVE IT." "But she can set fires with her brain." "Sometimes teenage girls do that! I saw it in a horror movie!" He's gonna process the news about the same way he'd process it if Mabel told him that she's some gender he's never heard of before: he's confused and too damn old to understand this complicated identity stuff, but he loves her even if he only understands half of what's going on, and he'll punch anybody who looks at her funny because of it.

Ford's only known Mabel since last summer; he's known Bill over 32 years.

This AU ain't a fic, so there's not a single set plotline, just a whole bunch of ideas that may or may not actually happen if I were ever to turn it into a story; and because of that there's a lot of ways things could go down with Ford, on a wild scale from hilarious to heartwarming to tragic, depending on what I think is interesting on any given day. But in many potential timelines, the first and most pressing question Ford's facing isn't "can I still love Mabel even if she was—is—Bill?"

It's "How do I kill Bill again?"

Because he knows Mabel the least and knows Bill the best, he has the best odds of looking past what everyone else sees as "haha that's just Mabel being Mabel!" and going "that's Bill fucking Cipher"; and because he hates Bill the most, he's the absolute last person Mabel would voluntarily tell about her exciting new personal discovery—meaning that he just has to draw his own conclusions. If he sees Bill looking at him through this little girl's eyes and clearly trying to convince Ford that he's not Bill he's gonna assume Bill's back from the dead and possessing his niece.

If Ford finds out, Mabel's not just afraid he won't love her anymore; she's also afraid he'll want her dead. If anything, him thinking she's possessed would be a good thing, because it'll buy her a little time while he's looking for a way to "extract" Bill to "save" Mabel, whereas if he knows the truth he'll know there's no Mabel to save.

Worst case scenario, she fears that, if he finds out, she's dead as soon as he can get his hands on her—unless she can find a way to defend herself.

Of course, this is Gravity Falls, where the power of love & family always wins, so in reality if he found out no that IS Mabel it'd stay his hand while he tries to figure out what's going on. His hatred for Bill is weaker than his love for his family. But she doesn't know that.

After all, Mabel's known Ford for 32 years, and for 30 of them he was on a suicidal vengeance quest to kill her; he's only been her grunkle since last summer.

[gayelderstourney]

OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:

THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.

they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them

they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!

Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-

Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio:

well you see they used to be friends but were on opposite sides of the great turf war. cuttlefish gets a 14 year old to go stop octavios army. also they argue in splatoon 3 which is just part of the 100+ year divorce arc BUT AT THE FINAL BOSS IN THE JAPANESE VERSION THEY SHARE THE ICONIC LINE THAT CUES THE CALAMARI INKANTATION AND IN THE ENGLISH CUTTLEFISH TELLS OCTAVIO TO "HIT IT" AND START THE MUSIC AND MUSIC IS SO IMPORTANT TO THE SPLATOON UNIVERSE YAAAAA ik its grasping but its lovers to enemies

Literally I have seen so many people call this old man yaoi.

Old men divorce!!!

They're old men who made their divorce the problem of every young person in their lives <3. 100 years ago during the Great Turf War between inklings and octarians, Craig and Octavio were the chosen ambassadors of their respective species. They got along well, but unfortunately found themselves on opposite sides of the war. During one of the battles Craig shot Octavio in the heart. The inlkings won the war and the octarians were forced underground. For years afterward both men grew bitter towards each other, and eventually Octavio attacked the new Squidbeak Splatoon (a group of secret agents recruited by Craig). Octavio lost both times and got imprisoned in a giant snow globe (and Craig calls him cute). In the latest game Octavio got over his hatred for Inklings (Craig's species) and used his flying mech to help defeat the BBEG of the game. After the final fight, Craig said something to the effect of 'that old rascal turned out to be not so bad!'.

Alright ok hear me out! These two old men have fought in wars for their races against each other and have the craziest pathetic old man homoerotic tension ever. They like, went from at least respecting each other before the war and then they were forced to fight each other and then when Cuttlefish's side won, Octavio went underground like a pathetic lil wet cat and later on he kidnapped Cuttlefish because of game related reasons and both of them still have way too much homoerotic tension!!! And then Octavio gets owned and then in the second game Octavio decides that "Hey actually, lets kidnap Cuttlefish's granddaughter" and the old man isnt even there cause hes busy being a pathetic old man in the under-underground!!! And in the third game they go fron rival/enemies to reluctantly working together to save the world from actual extinction bc some durry bitch wants to cover it in fuzzy ooze and like, both of them have so much old man ship potential and just- theyre still pining for each other even after over a 100 years man,,,,

I personally headcanon Cap'n Cuttlefish as homophobic, but I see the ship a lot and think it's funny.

They’re both at least like 125 probably a bit older, they are so divorced, like peak lovers to enemies back to lovers, Cap’n Cuttlefish calls Octavio cute in Splatoon one immediately after you rescue him from Octavio kidnapping him? So dysfunctional, so gay, so old

They fought in the Great Turf War which was said to be over 100 years ago, Capn Cuttlefish was, well, a captain I believe (he had some sort of rank even if he wasn't a captain, like he led a battle that's singled out in the sunken scrolls of the first game). they act so divorced in the singleplayer mode like they cannot stop insulting each other specifically but octavio always comes back and like kidnaps or insults captain cuttlefish it's so. and when the great zapfish gets stolen in splatoon 3 captain cuttlefish is like "it's the octarians again i know it" like divorced behavior. also it wasn't this time and octavio gets super weird about it. maybe you should stop using children as props in your drama though.

my favorite war crime divorcees <3

They basically are friends to enemies to lovers. Both of them fought in a war that hurt DJ Octavio so bad he can’t become an inkling.

friends -> enemies -> lovers. what more is there to say

they are soooo divorced

they were so gay their breakup ended a war

Craig Cuttlefish got sucked dry by a bear

they got divorced but then they got remarried . they fuckinf hate eachother but they also make out sloppy style and i do not know how that works because neither of them have mouths in their swim form which they are both permanently stuck in. love wins but also loses at the same time with these fucking losers

they are sooo divorced omg. istg they were dating when they were younger and then war n shit happened and now theyre bitter exes who probably still make out sometimes. Makes it so much funnier that theyre old ass men (both over 100!) and Cuttlefish has grandkids

They were on opposite sides of a war and still fell in love

[applesontheground]

I’m new here, I’m not sure if you accept requests for x readers but if you could do Asa Emory x reader (possibly wife reader) who knits him scarfs/ gloves and stitches his name into his clothes (clothes such as jumpers, the waistline of underwear, shirts, vests e.c.) I’d really appreciate it!! Ofc it’s fine if you ignore this, keep safe and take good care of yourself!! Xx

hi! it's been awhile since i've done the headcanon format, so i don't mind this at all! thanks for the well wishes (and for being VERY patient since sending this in not last february, but the one before that ... yeesh. i'm sorry and i hope i could make the wait worth it ;; )

headcanons - asa emory with a knitting/sewing spouse!reader

(p.s. the reader does not know about the collector, just to make it extra sneaky beaky)

He has a hand in a few "sewing" techniques himself, so whether this is something shared with him early on or all the way until after your marriage is well underway, he's smitten by it all the same. Everyone needs a hobby, after all.

Just sitting together, after another night where university work had kept him late, the two of you popping all personal bubbles in a way where you can still work and he decompresses. Sometimes talking, sometimes just finding a good cuddle position to make it work. I like the rowboat position, sitting between his legs and both of you splayed on the couch in pajamas while he reads, a hand around your waist and staying out the way as you work.

The tokens for him, a scarf with your best attempt at a centipede down the middle, gloves with little pillbugs on them since they're easier, etc. ... he only wears them to work, preserving them the best he can/saving them for when it's utterly cold outside, etc.

The one time he's talkative with coworkers is when they ask about the garments, and he loves to simply state with big, thoughtful eyes back down on the scarf/gloves/etc.:"My [wife/husband/spouse] made them, [he's/she's/they're]great with the needle work."

The sewing into the tags is something you start to do one year in secret, maybe for Valentine's Day just to show the care you feel alongside the usual date/gifts/etc. for whenever he sees it next.

You think you did something wrong with the way he comes home maybe months after, holding his jacket out to you with a bright green ASA stitched in the tag. "When did this start, my sweet!?" He's embarrassed, elated, just head over heels at a small detail getting past him for so long, and that is when you start noticing any new piece of clothing with a tag missing its ASA routinely left out after laundry.

You see a balaclava in one of your sewing workbooks, joke to him about making him one in assumption he wouldn't want to look ready to rob a bank during the Winter. He doesn't find it funny, and the next day you find an abundance of black yarn and fabrics in your stockpile, whatever he remembers it needing. If that's what the husband wants, I meannn...

He wears it under the Collector mask during the colder months, the colder jobs even. Some spots in the hotel have to be a little bit cold to preserve what he has going on in there.

Some of his victims have your name sewn onto them just because he wants to know how to do it, too. The ones that he doesn't leave to be found, anyways. Someone's still got a widdle crush after all this time. :)

[cherry-shiftss]

💫my fame dr💫

☆ the year is 2013 and august has no idea what they're doing with their life. they recently graduated dublin trinity college with a joint degree in law and english literature and are working in a bookshop. secretly, they wishe to be an author, a musician, an actor, an amalgamation of sorts, and little do they know that those wishes will all be granted in some way or other. as a chronic oversharer, they've somehow managed to keep their raging crush on andrew a secret from everyone- that is everyone except elisha.

☆ as the only other english person in trinity orchestra, elisha and august have banded together, sharing everything- a flat, secrets and all the gossip they can find. currently doing a photography degree, she aspires to be a concert photographer, and lucky for her, her other two flat mates have their eyes on a career of music.

☆ alex is the quietest of the bunch and tends to keep to himself, the quiet observer. he can very clearly tell that his best friend andrew is obviously in love with his cousin august- he's written like 4 songs about them. he takes great pride in his role of introducing them and constantly teases andrew about the blushing mess the pink haired person makes him.

☆ he's never enjoyed the spotlight but being 6'6 and having a voice like THAT, it's hard to avoid for andrew. his talent for words and self taught guitar skills allow him to write the most incredible songs, mostly about yearning. he wishes that one day, the name "hozier" will be known across the world which will be much sooner rather than later with his new single take me to church to be released in a week

《°•☆•°》

all photos from pinterest!!

if anyone wants to be scripted in as their fame dr selves I'm so up for that (just like dm me or send an ask with whatever info you want).

if anyone's wondering we're not famous yet. that comes along in like 2014 lol

[liyaauhr]

Logan & Ashlyn HEADCANONS

— They're both pretty big dog people: Ashlyn loves cats and dogs equally while Logan mainly likes dogs (he prefers how dogs are more affectionate). Because of this, they've both started to volunteer at a local animal shelter together and it's sort of become their thing (the rest of the group drops by sometimes but not nearly as much as these two). Both of them bond over a mutual preference for choosing dogs over humans any day, Ashlyn likes how calm the atmosphere of the shelter is and finds Logan to be good company when she just wants to enjoy the quiet company.

— Logan always brings Ashlyn custom flowers for her dance recitals: After hanging out, the group learns of these events and makes an effort to get involved and show support for each other's hobbies, for most of them it's their first time having genuine connections so naturally, no one likes to skip out on Ashlyn's recitals. Emma and Mike have started coming around often to the plant shop to buy flowers whenever Ashlyn has an important event. Seeing how often the Banners brought flowers for Ashlyn, Logan thought it'd be a great idea to show support by making a separate bouquet on behalf of the group. I imagine he'd have pretty good knowledge of flowers and their meanings so he'd always make a handmade bouquet for every event. So now Ashlyn often gets greeted with two bouquets after her shows: one from her parents, one from her friends. She always keeps them for as long as she can and texts Logan for advice on keeping them from wilting.

— Ashlyn always tries to be attentive to Logan: It's more out of instinct as the group leader, Ashlyn will always feel responsible for looking out for her friends and so unconsciously tries to be a better friend by trying to be observant to notice shifts in behaviours. Interestingly, this happened a lot with Logan early on in the group's friendship. He'd often linger behind the group or sometimes opt out of conversations in favour of staying quiet, valuing the opinions of others over his own. Whenever this happened, Ashlyn would always try to involve Logan by asking for his opinion or corner off with him to initiate a private conversation about Logan's own interests, urging him to speak more.

— Yapper + listener duo

— Aside from Logan I think that Ashlyn is the 2nd best with a gun (I know Taylor is shown to be good and implied to be the second best but logic tells me otherwise): Because of this they often go to shooting ranges together and always compete with each other in shooting arcade games.

— Ashlyn helps out at the flower shop and gets mistaken for being an employee by customers: She's known as the 'grumpy lady with braids,' eventually, she just gets given a nametag from James and Mary to try and help her out but to her dismay, the nickname just stuck. Even worse, Logan accidentally mentioned it in front of the group and now they use it to tease her.

— Ashlyn, Logan, and Taylor are known to be the strategists: While Ashlyn mainly plans the objectives for the night, Taylor and Logan like to chip in and offer their own opinions to keep things running smoothly.

— People think they’re related at school: Due to sharing a few similar features (and the fact that someone once saw Logan getting out of the car with Ashlyn & the Banners) most people assumed Ashlyn and Logan were cousins. Some people had even started theorising that they were secret siblings because no-one had seen Logan’s parents before. Both of them know about these rumours but Ashlyn doesn’t care enough to clarify.

[heartfullofleeches]

What are Remmy/Sammy/Liu/Carnis/Clem/Aspen/Blacksmith doing for thanksgiving?

Also happy thanksgiving! I hope you’re feeling better and in less pain!

Remmy:

Prior to the date, he's insisting to his folks they don't need to drop by for a visit. They're both so busy with their own lives, and there's a certain someone he'd like to spend at least one Thanksgiving alone with to enjoy that quiet, domestic bliss before his family bombards them with a million questions about their future together.

"My parents couldn't come out this year... You wanna maybe stop by? I'll prepare something just for the two of us and if things feels a little lonely we can set the table with family.. Other family, I mean. The dolls... Does that sound too silly?"

Sammy:

Would sooner hole himself up for another sleepless night in the funeral home than spend the holiday with his family, but they always managed to wear him down- Possibly due to the venue being closed, but who's to say. He might be able to skip this years festivities if he has already made plans with someone else. His father would still be the grumpy hard ass he is, but any signs of wedding bells in the future and his mother will send him in your direction with a pie in hand.

Liu:

On holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Liu celebrates by donating their time to local food kitchens. They have nobody else to spend the day with before meeting their darling, and if they're completely alone on those days it puts them in a bad headspace. Giving back and helping out their community is another thing that grounds Liu with their humanity as their species typically cares only for themselves/the family it creates.

If their darling is in the picture, Liu halfs their day so they can spend the rest of the night with them warming up the feast they prepared in preparation.

Carnis:

"I'm t-thankful for sweets, and a warm place to sleep, and...and hot baths, and... you... Y-you're at the top of the list,but I t-thought that'd be pretty obvious... by now.."

Carnis has never heard of Thanksgiving- They don't know much about any celebrations beyond their birthday, but that technically can't be called a holiday - not until they meet you anyway. What better way to show their gratitude than to offer their meat- No? Then at least them set the table. They aren't the greatest chef right off the bat, but there must be something they can help you with. They'll get pouty if you attempt to do household chores in their stead.

They get like that any other day too, but how are they supposed to show their appreciation if you take over from them?

Clementine:

"Dinner will be ready in approximately one hundred and twenty... Correction, make that one hundred and fourty five seconds... You would like me to sit you?.. Strange."

Keeps to herself and for a period, actively seems to avoid you. She has lot to do in the kitchen afterall- Certainly isn't grappling with an bothersome emotions over not being your true family whether platonically or romantically. That would be ridiculous.

Aspen:

It's not a holiday he would celebrate on his own, but he with take whatever excuse he can muster to prepare a big meal for his spouse. Prods his darling for cherished memories of events past. While his own remains a secret, Aspen lives for the remnants of darling's life before they became one.

There are some traditional Thanksgiving foods that he does not fancy, but he will make for darling if he is a fan. Scolds them if they dare bring anything store bought into his kitchen, but if darling is sneaky enough later that evening they'll find him scarfing down a can of cranberry sauce.

Blacksmith:

"You required one of these feathery creatures, did you not? I can remove its head if the stare of its soulless eyes offends you."

Gods in their time held their own traditions, but even then Blacksmith rarely had the grace to be apart of the festivities. It's a great honor for you to share this holiday with them, and he will do everything in his power to be the model guest. It will try to be on their best behavior for you, but there are no guarantees.

[shadow4-1]

Your hubby let u sleep with his friends ??? okkk girll i see you living the life we all want too (share ur secrets😣)

Oops I forgot I said that. Well...yes it's true. I've slept with a handful of my husband's friends (all of it was talked about beforehand, planned out, etc.)

Both my husband and I are bisexual. All of his friends he's had for years - since they were babies pretty much. They're all exceptionally close and they've experimented a lot together before I ever even came into the picture.

Besides my husband, none of them have girlfriends or wives (they're all in their late 20s now). I used to think it was a red flag but now I just realize they're all just tied to each other and fulfil their emotional needs that way. In fact, two of them are identical twins. They were suspicious when they met me at first (but after I witnessed a couple of them kissing my husband, let's just say they quickly came to realize I was definitely the girl for him).

(This picture is almost 10 years old. That's my husband in the blue jacket with half his friend group. We went out to a club, so all of us were piss drunk in the back of that taxi.)

Now, I'm not going to generalize Scottish men/people. I'm just going to give ya'll a rundown on what I've learned/observed over my multiple trips to Scotland. I've noticed that they tend to -

- Be chivalrous. Not a single guy I met (husband or otherwise) was rude or didn't use his manners the whole time I was there. And if they were amongst friends they had no issue with calling each other out for their bad behavior. Now that, that was nice to see. (So, yes, Soap's definitely has his manners and knows how to follow decorum well.)

- Be loud. Almost every man I met was boisterous and bright. Even the quiet ones (once I got them to talk) were animated. The culture over there is different than America (where I'm from), everyone seems to know everyone. So no one is seemingly scared of "strangers", they're usually pretty curious. (So, yes, Soap's talkative and interesting personality checks out.)

- Fight. Now, this one is because I spent a lot of time in bars. Again, unlike America, it's different. They don't carry guns (maybe a knife but even that's not the norm). Usually it's just a lot of posturing, yelling, and intimidation. But, if they actually decide to swing, usually the crowd will break it up and/or throw them outside. Fighting over there is kind of seen as a necessary evil. (So, yes, when they say Soap is a bit of a hot head and hops into fights I can definitely confirm it.)

- Welcome with open arms. I'm a plus size POC and most of the people you'll find in Scotland are Caucasian. You'd think there'd be some friction between me and the locals, but no. Not once was I ever treated unfairly by anyone. In fact, people loved to chat with me. I spent a lot of my time talking with strangers. (So, yes, Soap not batting an eye at Ghost and his ridiculous get up is on brand. He cares much more about getting to know the person underneath.)

I could go on. Maybe one day I'll be able to live my retirement years in Scotland. It's beautiful and green and walkable. Also they have Irn Bru, Jammie Dodgers, and my absolute favorite - Bairns Sausage Rolls. I'd immigrate just for those haha!

So yeah, I know a think or two, and Soap is a pretty great Scottish representation in my opinion. My husband is indifferent to him but maybe it's because he seems the similarities haha. If you want to hear more about my trysts I have no problem sharing! I've seen a lot and done alot in my short time here on Earth and trust me when I say I'm not stopping anytime soon! 😂

[harrysfolklore]

please you write beautiful, so I have to ask you to make a imagine of harry and the reader where she and he write together sweet nothing like taylor and joe, thanks 🥺

sweet nothing

something lovey dovey for valentine’s day, i love you <3

MY PATREON | MASTERLIST

Your relationship was still a secret to the world.

They knew about you and Harry working together for his album, Harry's House, but they didn't know about the feelings that sparkled between the two of you, the shared kisses and intimate moments. They didn't know about your sweet nothings.

Sitting by the piano, with your writing journal and pen in hand, you reflected about you and Harry, about how last July you escaped from the busy life and the spotlights, and went away to your cottage in Wicklow, where you spend every second together, falling more and more for each other. You thought about how one night as you stargazed, he told you that your eyes reminded him of the tiny fireflies he used to watch growing up, and how you both promised that whenever life got overwhelming you'd always find home in each other.

I spy with my little tired eye Tiny as a firefly A pebble that we picked up last July Down deep inside your pocket We almost forgot it Does it ever miss Wicklow sometimes?

The words came to your mind smoothly as you scribbled them down in your journal, during the last few months, you've found out that writing about Harry was the easiest thing in the world.

You were in love, and your songs reflected it.

"Busy there?" his soft voice made you turn you head towards the door, he was leaning against the frame with a relaxed smile and a fond look on his eyes, you couldn't help but melt at the sight, everything about him radiated comfort.

"Just writing songs," you said as you made room for him next to you on the piano's bench, he kissed the side of your face tenderly once he sat next to you before speaking again, "Love songs about me?" his cheeky remark made you let out a breathy laugh, he was right.

"What makes you think you're any good of a muse, Styles?" you decided to tease him, even though he had been your only muse for the last few months, just as you have been his.

"Baby, I'm a great muse! Stevie Nicks said it herself!" his words made you laugh again and you moved your hands to brush away a loose curl from his forehead, taking the opportunity to press your lips to his for a moment. You could never get enough of the other, and you cherished these moments when it was just you and him wrapped up in your little love bubble.

"Remember that poem I wrote on our way home from Wicklow?" you said after a few minutes of silence, with your head against his shoulder, "I do, you never showed it to me tho." his voice was soft and quiet, as if he didn't want to break the tender ambiance around you.

On the way home I wrote a poem You say, "what a mind" This happens all the time

"It is about how I find safe heaven by your side whenever life gets hard" you let yourself be vulnerable, at the end of the day, Harry was the one who taught you that being vulnerable was part of being human.

And Harry could only look at you in pure love and adoration, he felt so lucky that he found someone so honest and real, someone he was willing to protect and take care of.

"You're my safe heaven too, baby. Nothing else matters if I get to come home to you and your sweet nothings" he confessed, every single one of his words touching every fiber of your heart.

You stayed like that for a while, your head against his shoulder and his hand softly caressing your back, scribbling lyrics on your journal and playing soft melodies in the piano. The world outside was full of pushing and shoving, but as long as you got each other you would be alright.

They said the end is comin' Everyone's up to somethin' I find myself runnin' home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're push and shovin' You're in the kitchen hummin' All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

taglist: @cucciolafaerie e @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles s s @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @noitsmebecky @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @eviesaurusrex @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas @harrybabyyyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry @b-reads-things @juiceboxrry @lomlolivia @itsgigikay @goldensstateofgrace @missmielyhoran @fdl305 @lightsoutstyles

[the-s1lly-corner]

OOOOO CONSIDER COTL CAST X NARILAMB CHILD! PLATONIC OBVIOUSLY!

Bishops + baal and aym + ratau possibly?

Bishops x narilamb child!reader (platonic)

Love this idea but this is a mighty tall order given how many characters there are! So I'll be splitting this into two parts! Hooray!

Characters: shamura, kallamar, heket, leshy

Notes: reader is gn, general stuff following reader between different age groups, follower bishops, post game

CWs: none

LESHY

Sneaks you treats and candy partly to spite your parents to hopefully either spoil your appetite or give you a sugar rush

It takes a while but he does warm up to you, you're not your father after all. Also he can teach you how to annoy your dad. Call it a tiny bit of payback after everything. Why kill him when he can show his kid how to be annoying

Unironically a proud uncle. Soon you will be a beacon of power and he can't help but share some pride in you. You almost make him want to shed a tear when you hit his words with a clever comeback

Will tell you it's okay to upper cut someone if they give you shit

HEKET

Tough love from her, similarly to leshy it takes her a while to warm up to you given your parents but that aunt-y nature eventually seeps in

Won't let you take any shit from anyone, you learn so many insults from her and how to project your voice. Is the tone and words harsher than what thw lamb would want to come from you? Yes. Will they admit that heket made sure you had a back bone? Also yes

You won't always get things for free from her; sometimes you'll need to work for it, not everything is going to be handed to you just because you're a child of the cults leader-- ignoring that if you were hers she would make sure you got it

Will NOT let you become spoiled and helpless you WILL gain the ability to fully rely off of yourself

KALLAMAR

One of those dads who takes their nieces out to go dress shopping and getting their nails done, but he's your uncle

You have so many pretty nick nacks and jewelery from over the years.. you.. may have also picked up on some of his diva nature assuming heket doesn't stomp it out of you

Thanks to him you know your worth and you're not going to accept anything less than that

Partly scared of you for the first few years of your life but overall he grows to adore you. Let's you help him put outfits together when you were younger

SHAMURA

You remind them so much of narinder when he was younger, and they naturally have a soft spot for you

Teaches you how to use silk to make things; clothing, decorations, things like that! So do patient with you

Also teaches you how to throw hands. They may be long out of their prime but they're still a fighter to some degree. Being the god of war for so long doesn't just suddenly go away

Always open to lending support to you when you need to talk about something but want to hide something from your parents-- great secret keeper, sometimes a kid breaks something and needs to dump the guilt somewhere

[amiserableseriesofevents]

[giving them a panicked hug] "no, no, no, no!" OR "shit, no, that's not what i meant." (if one of them inspires you dear 🥰)

After a week spent hiking, it's their turn! Modern AU, not Such Stuff related 🥰🏔️

John has been acting weird for weeks, and for the life of him Gale can't understand why.

For starters, he personally suggested the location for their holiday, a task that usually Gale takes on; one day he came home to a depliant of a quaint camping site in the mountains, amidst the nature, with suggestions on several hiking trails. It's not the first holiday they've spent hiking, they both like to stay outside and breath fresh air when they're not in the office and they're both in good enough shape to take on even steeper trails if the view is worth it, and it seemed like this particular place meant a lot to John so Gale had agreed to his plan, secretly pleased that he was the one taking the initiative for once.

That was only the first weirdness, though.

Since then, John keeps acting like he's hiding something and he's such a terrible liar that Gale knows something is going on, he just knows it.

He packed his own suitcase without accepting any help from Gale, and he triple checked everything before leaving when he's usually one to shrug and say he'll deal with it even if he forgets to pack something crucial like a clean pair of pants or a toothbrush. If it were winter Gale would think John's hiding his birthday present; but it's fucking July, their anniversary is not coming for two more months, and Gale cannot think about another date worth celebrating.

The strangest thing though happened just this morning, when they were getting ready for the hike and John dressed all in blue – an extremely sober choice for him that usually wears clashing colors like a hot pink tank top with yellow shorts and neon green socks. “Are you feeling alright?” Gale ventured to ask him, genuinely worried.

“Yeah of course Buck, why?” Was John's answer, with a hint of hysterics in his voice, so Gale decided to not push him; whatever is going on with him, sooner or later Bucky will tell him.

The hike he's chosen for today is splendid: a narrow dirt track amongst tall trees whose shadow provide a welcome respite from the summer heat, the air filled with the fragrant smell of resin and dirt. John told him there's a lake waiting for them at the end of the trail, with several bits of sandy shore all around where they can lie their picnic blanket and rest after the long walk.

“It's pear shaped, you know Buck? The lake I mean,” John tells him, his rambling never stopping even when he'd need to save his breath. “It's great, you're gonna love it. The water's a bit cold but no worse than Lake Michigan.”

“You came here with your family, right?”

“Yup, for three summers when I was a kid. I've always wanted to come back and I thought, what better chance to do it than, ah, with you, my love,” John answers, clearly almost giving up his secret. Gale feels his gaze on him, nervous, and he smiles back at him, grabbing his hand. He's not usually the type for PDA, but they're alone in a forest and John seems to be needing it, so Gale weaves their fingers together and they keep walking like that for a while, careful not to jostle each other on the uneven ground.

“I'm happy you decided to bring me here,” Gale says after a while. “Thank you for always sharing these things with me, John. It means a whole lot.”

John pulls him closer for a kiss, then stares seriously in his eyes. “I'll always share everything with you Buck, I promise,” he tells him. Gale hesitates, wondering if that's John way of suggesting him to ask about whatever he's hiding right now, but then John's focus shifts back to the trail and he decides to drop the subject.

After an hour or so they reach the last part of the trail, the hardest one: a steep staircase carved into the side of the mountain, more or less thirty steps to reach the other side before climbing down to the lake's shore.

“Once we're up there we'll be able to see the lake!” John exclaims, his childish enthusiasm making him all the more jittery, a smile on his face wider than any Gale has seen before.

Gale goes first, eager to catch a glimpse on the view. The sun beats down on him, unforgiving, and he feels beads of sweat forming along his hairline, his t-shirt progressively more and more stuck to his back. There are more step than John remembered, bordering on sixty, but once Gale reaches the top he immediately forgives him for his inaccuracy because the view is truly breathtaking: the lake is blue, the deepest blue Gale has ever seen in his life, and the light hits it just right so that parts of its surface look like they're made of shimmering diamonds. All around the shore there are more tall trees, their bright green in contrast with the sapphire hue of the water and the turquoise of the sky, dotted here and there with fluffy white clouds.

Gale leans back against the rock wall, breathless and mesmerized. He hears John reaching the peak after him but doesn't turn too him, too entranced by the view. “John. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,” he says, voice shaky with wonder.

“I know, right?” John says, and by the mirth in his voice Gale knows that he's looking at him and not at the view. He turns to him, ready to affectionately scold him, and he finds him down on one knee with a small box in hand.

His brain short-circuits.

“No!”

How did he not think about it? Every single one of John's weirdnesses of the past few months suddenly makes sense: he chose a place that meant a lot to him, dressed all nice for Gale, and waited for the best possible moment to propose. He can't believe it. It was so obvious, so-

It's only when he notices that John has gone pale, his eyes wide with confusion and heartbreak, that he realizes he's spoken out loud. John got down on one knee to propose, and he shouted no at him.

“No?" John asks, little more than a whimper.

"Shit, no, that's not what I meant!” Gale says, frantically trying to make up for his mistake. “It was a no to me, not to you! Because I've been trying to understand what was going on with you for weeks and now that I know it was so obvious, I can't believe I couldn't see it!”

“...so?” John asks, still on one knee.

“Ask the question. I promise I'm not gonna say no.”

“You promise?”

Gale nods, and John takes a deep breath. “Buck, my love, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Gale shouts, louder than the no he spoke before, and throws himself at John when the other rises back on his feet, kissing him with all the passion and joy he can muster.

“Buck, the ring!” John tells him between kisses, and Gale reluctantly lets him go; there are tears on John's face and in his eyes, but Gale hopes they're of happiness just like the ones he feels wet on his cheeks.

The ring is beautiful, a simple silver band with a B engraved on the inside. “It's perfect, John” Gale tells him, beaming.

John gives him a kiss on the tip of the nose. “Never do something like that again,” he half threatens, half pleads. “I was about to throw myself in the lake from here.”

“I promise. I'll make it up to you.”

“Your wedding vows better be fucking fire, Buck.”

[traintrainingmontage]

What I like most about Neilloey as a ship is the idea that they very much feel like (best) friends to lovers, and that despite their seperation, what they meant to each other and how they helped shape each other can't and won't be erased. They've left such deep, indelible marks on each other's lives, their relationship built on quiet nights with Neil on a standard-gauge siding next to Skarloey's shed and the two of them talking and whispering to each other in the starlit hours, taking comfort in each other's presence, dreaming of what tomorrow would bring, and over time, dreaming of each other. It's not passion or mutual interest that drives their eventual shift in relationship from that of friends to partners, but trust—trust built over the course of decades.

I really do think that, second only to Rheneas, Neil was one of the most important and impactful engines in Skarloey's life, and the two complement each other incredibly well. I've spoken about it in previous posts, but Neil's calm, analytical, laid-back attitude is a wonderful foil to Skarloey's initially bouncy, exuberant nature. Given that the two knew each other for at least 50 years (Skarloey arrived on Sodor in 1865 and Neil survived the founding of the NWR in 1915 before disappearing by WWI's end), it's quite possible and even likely that the two rubbed off on each other personality-wise, with Neil becoming a bit more energetic and Skarloey becoming a bit more calm and thoughtful, as we see him in later years. I imagine that their bond becomes incredibly tight, with the two of them being each other's confidants for everything they can't share with their respective siblings.

When the war seperates them, I think that Skarloey is heartbroken, but the work doesn't stop. He has to mourn in the wee hours, when he thinks Rheneas is sleeping, and hope and pray that they might be reunited one day. Neil would want him to keep going, he knows that. So he will, and he keeps his cherished thoughts of Neil safe and deep in the pit of his flame, and focuses on what he needs to do.

100 years pass. It's 2017. And... Neil is found. He's still technically owned by the Crovan's Gate Mining Company, which has since rebranded, but that still makes him one of Sir Handel Brown's engines, and Sir Handel Brown IV is all too happy to reunite Skarloey and Neil. And there's the worry of awkwardness, for it's been so long, but then... they just pick up right where they left off.

It's so easy, it seems almost effortless, and in some ways, it is; time has passed, but the trust has remained. And although neither of them are the same engines—the scars of years of trauma are etched deeply into Skarloey's frames and psyche both, and the guilt of abandoning his partner and almost being tempted to let himself answer the call of the void and let himself succumb and rest will forever haunt Neil—that also adds another depth, a new dimension, to their relationship.

Skarloey and Neil are not young, new engines. They know how to work together to overcome. And so they do. They talk to each other. They communicate. They unload. They support. And in the end, yes, they both have changed. But who they are—the exuberant red engine whose love runs as deep as his namesake lake, and the calm green box tank who always has good insights to share—haven't changed a bit. They're still the best friends who can talk until morning, still the partners who can entrust each other with their deepest secrets, who want each other to be the first thing they see in the morning and the last thing at night.

Imo, what makes Neilloey so great is that theirs is a relationship that could overcome such a long absence, and their bond is as rock-solid as it is because it had so much time to grow organically, between two complementary personalities. Sure, they had their fair share of friction, but nothing that couldn't be solved fairly easily, especially once Skarloey settled down a bit personality-wise. There's something comforting about the ship, and part of it is meaning so much to someone that you're not forgotten even if you disappear. Another part is recognizing that even as time has worn you both down, you're still the same engines that fell in love with each other over a century ago. Your time together gave you the strength to make it through your time apart. And you get to that point through trust, through care, and through being vulnerable—and having that vulnerability reciprocated—all of which is very typical of (best) friends to lovers, between two wise, kind engines who very much deserve only nice things after what they've been through.

Needless to say, Neilloey is my TTTE OTP for a reason. ❤️ 💚

[pleasantglitterflower]

MEETING THE MESSI FAMILY (JOE BURROW x MESSI! READER)

The Vogue World show ended and Luisa Messi breathed a sigh of relief, she couldn't take it anymore, as she faced a crazy marathon in the last few weeks of traveling for work, from London to Japan, passing through Greece, Morocco, New York and now ending in Paris. She loved her work and was very grateful for all the opportunities she had, but the modeling profession is like any other, and she always thinks it's wrong when people romanticize the profession, as if there was only the glamorous and luxurious side. She went to the dressing room she shared with her best friends Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid to change, Kendall and Gigi asked if she and her boyfriend would join their group of friends for the fashion show's afterparty, she confirmed their presence and if she said goodbye to her friends and went to meet her boyfriend.

Paris fashion week was very special for Luisa, especially because her boyfriend would be showing for the first time, and he is not someone unknown to the sport. Joe Burrow, Cincinnati Bengals quarterback began to show a side of himself that was previously unknown to his fans, as from that year onwards, he was willing to leave his comfort zone and experience new experiences, and this change would not have been possible if Luisa wasn't by his side encouraging him and rooting for him.

Luisa went to Joe's dressing room, and as soon as she saw him, she ran and jumped on him.

  - You were incredible, mi amor, incredible - Luisa says, leaving lots of kisses on Joe's face, who laughs at his girlfriend's excitement

 - I wouldn't have done it without you supporting me, mi princesa,te amo mucho - he ventures, speaking very slurred Spanish, kissing Luisa's neck.

-Joe, we're not at home, let's go to dinner soon, they're already waiting for us. Have Justin and the rest of the guys left?

-Yes, they're already gone, we're just missing, the security guards are already waiting for us at the exit through the restricted area

 - So let's go quickly, before they see us.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Luisa was at Joe's house to prepare a real Argentine feast, the quarterback was going to see what real food was, but the model had one more surprise for him.

-This is the chorizo ​​fillet- Luisa points happily to the juicy steak

- Wow, this looks great - he says cutting and trying the first bite - Hmmmmm, baby this is incredible, you need to take me to Argentina, I've never tasted anything so delicious - Joe says 

- Baby, since we're eating Argentine food, we're in that Argentine vibe, I need to tell you something

- Speak my love, what happened?

-Are you going to do something next Saturday?- she asks, at the same time as she bites into a large piece of steak. 

- No - he thinks a little

- So, let's meet the Messi family- She smiles

Joe dropped his fork, put his hand on his mouth and another on his chest.

-For God's sake, anything but that- he begs

- There's no need to be like that, they'll be nice - she tries to help

- Punches me in the face, kicks me, break me, calls me an idiot, but doesn't make me go there - he puts on his best pity face

- Don't even come Joe, we're going to see them - she stamps her foot

And that's when Joe realized he was in trouble.

The days passed in a hurry and Joe doesn't know how to put into words how disturbed his state of mind is.

Packing the bags was almost a sacrifice, with each piece of clothing being picked up with a different complaint, he loves her very much, but he's sure that this next step doesn't have to be postponed, but rather, removed from the new couple's to-do guide.

   Luisa and Joe have been together for almost a year, and as two public figures, they have so far successfully kept their relationship secret. The quarterback started talking to the Argentinean on Instagram shortly after ending a long-term relationship. The relationship over time fell into a routine and Joe was only with his ex for comfort and convenience, but he had been unhappy for a long time and was cheating on his ex frequently, until he got tired of this unhappiness and ended the relationship. 

In their first face-to-face date, in a restaurant in New York, Joe was very sincere and confessed to Luisa about his history of betrayals, but assured her that he was going to be a new man, a good man for her, as he was already completely in love. by the beautiful Argentinean who was born in Spain. Luisa was suspicious, but as she was also already very enchanted by the blue-eyed blonde, she decided to give him a chance. The first-born Messi had also recently ended her relationship with Barcelona player Pedri González, as their busy schedules meant they saw very little of each other, but they both remain friends.

The big issue is that after a year, Joe had still not met Lionel Messi and Antonella Roccuzzo, Luisa's parents, due to a great fear of the quarterback facing in person the best football player in the world who was now his father-in-law. On every occasion that Luisa tried to organize for them to meet, Joe would make up an excuse or take advantage of his commitments with the Bengals team to not meet Leo. Luisa was always understanding of the situation, but her father was not. For a person who has always shown calm and tranquility, Messi appeared impatient with Burrow, sending him an unkind message via Instagram direct.

“Of course boludo,

It's really good if you run away, because know that when I see you, I'll have to be prepared for when we're all in one place.

I'm not kidding, especially when it comes to my eldest daughter's feelings and integrity, I've never spared any effort to protect my little girl and it won't be with an American playboy who plays a supposed sport called “football” that I'm going to change my principles. ”

Joe blinked in disbelief, did he really read that? If he questioned.

-Don't notice, dad is as dramatic as a classic Argentine soap opera, it's that Latin American cliché, he didn't even let me see what he wrote in that message- Luisa smiles.

Joe frowned, reading the message again and asking if it was a joke.

  Arriving at the airport, he had nowhere to run.

   - My dad will love meeting you - he hears her talking, all smiling

   - Not as much as my brothers, they are so adorable, since they moved to the USA, they say they want to play basketball,dad goes crazy - she comments laughing 

- Dad is so scary when he's on the field, when I started dating Pedri, he threatened to break his legs if he betrayed me, you had to see the poor guy's scared face - Luisa tells the story, laughing a lot 

Joe at that moment wonders if she loves him or hates him. The mood became lighter when they disembarked and took a taxi to head to the Messi family mansion in Miami.

  During the journey, they come across a large poster of Messi in an Inter Miami advertisement.

- What is it like being the daughter of Lionel fucking Messi?

- People always ask me this, for me it's normal, dad is like any other father who loves, cares, is demanding and strict when necessary. He always does everything for me and my brothers and the main lesson he makes a point of always talking about is simplicity and humility, this is certainly the most valuable inheritance he will leave us - she says with her eyes shining 

Joe looks at her with admiration in his eyes

- You know that I love you, you know? 

- I did know - Luisa takes his hand and kisses it with love

-So now with this information how about we leave, I hate feeling arrogant and getting into a losing situation, I can't do that, how about I don't know if we meet your parents in a place and then run away from them, I don't like stay in the environment where they hate me-

Luisa sighed at the request, not knowing what to do, she didn't want Joe to feel obligated to do anything, but it was already going on too long.

-I understand what you're feeling, but I haven't even had a week to meet your parents, they thought it was important, so mine think it's important too-

-Honey, just pretend that we live in a world like we used to, where women came to men's families and only it matters- He gives a nervous smile.

- -Of course I understand, so in this case you haven't yet gone to ask permission from my father and my brothers, because in the world as in the past, men asked permission from other men, you can take advantage today to do that- Joe quickly refused to do that.

- -Relax, darling, it will only be a few days at their house and...- He cuts her off quickly.

- Days at their house? What do you mean by that, have you ever heard of a hotel? Luisa we need our privacy, I need my privacy, there's the jet leg and everything, look I'm American, I don't want to seem like an idiot, rich, spoiled to your family the first time and they don't need to know about my quirks or habits right now- Joe starts gesturing and getting restless in the car trying to explain himself.

- Hotels around here at this time of year are difficult, because of the beaches, but look on the bright side-                                       -What good side?- Joe claps his hands on his thighs indignantly.

- We're here now- She pointed to the side, turned off the car and removed her seat belt, while Joe next to him practically passed out. 

- My God, the driver always speaks first - he massages his own chest

Luisa and Joe identified themselves at the entrance of the huge mansion complex, and then headed to the Messi house. Burrow was mentally praying that nothing would get out of control and that he would make it out of these days with his Argentine family alive.

  Luisa presses the doorbell and her mother Antonella opens the door smiling. -Hija, como te extrañé - the older woman hugs her daughter 

- Mommy, the countdown is already counting down to see you, where are daddy and the boys?

- Your father has already started preparations for the barbecue, and the boys are playing ball - Antonella responds, and then looks at Joe - we have a special visit from our daughter

- I almost forgot to introduce you, mom this is Joe Burrow, my boyfriend, Joe this is Antonella Roccuzzo, my mother 

- Nice to meet you Mrs. Roccuzzo - he raises his hand to greet Antonella, but she is quicker and pulls him into a hug 

- Without these formalities my dear, you can just call me Anto, I'm finally meeting the boy who is messing with my daughter's heart

- I'm completely in love with her Mrs…Anto, she also touches my heart - Joe kisses Luisa's cheek, who is embarrassed 

- Let's go to the backyard guys, Joe, you'll get along great with Leo and the boys. You have brothers ?

- Yes, I have two older brothers, and I have four nephews 

- That's cool, so you seem to be really good with kids 

- Yes, I am, I really like their sincerity

They walked through the huge mansion until they reached the leisure area, where Messi was cutting and placing meat to roast on the barbecue and Thiago, Matteo and Ciro, Luisa's younger brothers, were excitedly playing football around the place, while reggaeton served as a ambient sound of the place.

- Honey, they've arrived! Children, look at your sister here - Antonella screams, the boys run towards Luisa to hug her

  - Lisaaaaaaa

   - My boys, how I missed you - Luisa hugs her brothers tightly, until they pull away and look at Joe, his height scared them 

   - Who is he? - Thiago asks 

    - This is Joe boys, he is my boyfriend, Joe these three little men are my younger brothers, Thiago, Matteo and Ciro

   - Nice to meet you boys, I'm Joe - he shakes hands with the three children, who return the greeting shyly 

- Joe brought a present for you boys, give it to them - Luisa says to the quarterback 

Joe opens the relatively large bag, and gives his brothers-in-law three autographed Cincinnati Bengals jerseys personalized with their respective names, as well as three small ball footballs

NFL.

  - These are the shirts of my football team, friends, and this is the American football ball

  - That's not football, real football is what dad plays - Thiago says

- What an ugly and strange ball - Matteo doesn't miss the opportunity to criticize

- Boys, don't be rude, he does play football, but the football he plays is different - Antonella explains

- That's not a ball, they're a circle, they're round - Ciro says seeing the NFL ball

- You use the wrong ball, this is the football ball - Thiago points to the round ball 

- If you play football, why don't you play with Pulisic on the US national team? -Matteo asks Joe, who is scared by the ability of three small children to scare him

- Boys, I play American football, it's different from round ball football, the rules are different, the names of the positions are different, it's totally different

- Are you a striker? - Ciro asks

- No, I play quarterback 

- What's that?

-The quarterback is the main player of a team in American football, he is responsible for throwing the ball, I am responsible for the team's attack.

- So you're a striker like dad? - Matteo asks

- In a way yes, although the rules are different

Leo was quiet, carefully watching Joe's interaction with his younger children, the Argentine didn't take his eyes off his son-in-law, and he could see from his gaze how much he was controlling himself so as not to appear nervous in front of him.

   - Boys, leave the boy alone. Nice to meet you Joe, I'm Lionel Messi, Luisa's father - the Argentinian squeezes Joe's hand tightly, who disguised his nervousness

- Nice to meet you Mr Messi, I'm Joe Burrow

- Please boy, just call me Leo, I'm only 37 years old, I'm not that old 

Joe lets out a nervous laugh. 

- Boys, you'll have time to ask Joe lots of questions, now go to the living room and play video games while the barbecue isn't ready yet, Joe, would you like to help me prepare the barbecue? After all, you are now part of an Argentine family, you have to know what real food is-The older man didn't fail to notice that Joe looked nervously at Luisa, who encouraged him to accept

  - Yes sir, I mean Leo, it will be a pleasure 

- That's great, love, so Luisa will come and help me prepare dessert, let's go, daughter - Antonella says, pulling Luisa by the hands ,then Leo guides Joe with basic instructions on how to use the equipment to prepare the meat, until the older man starts talking.

- You know Joe, I became Luisa's father when I was 17 years old, it was very complicated at the time, as I had just debuted as a professional player at Barcelona, ​​my career has always been very demanding and I was often not at home to follow the full growth of her, but one thing I always promised and I feel like I fulfilled my role as a father very well: I never let anyone hurt my daughter's heart, I always supported her in everything she wanted to do and I always taught her to always remain humble . Do anything with me, but if you mess with my family, you will find a lot of problems. I'm very calm, but harm someone in my family and I'll harm you - Messi clenches his fists and hits the table, making Joe open his eyes wide and mentally pray that Luisa appears and gets him out of there.

- Joe, I'm not an idiot. When Luisa told me she was meeting you, I made a point of doing in-depth research about you, and to no surprise, I found news about you having cheated on your ex-girlfriend several times.

- Leo, I can explain…

- Joe, I own the word here. What you did or didn't do with your ex-girlfriends, whether you cheated or didn't cheat, which other women you've had sex with, I don't care, what really interests me is Luisa's happiness. In these years of my career, I have seen many colleagues destroy their families due to momentary promiscuity, I have seen and still see a lot of rotten things in the world of football, many colleagues have sunk their personal and professional lives due to wrong choices, and my biggest fear My daughter would one day suffer at the hands of men like these. I had everything I needed to follow a similar path, but that wasn't how my family raised me, my mother always taught me to respect people and especially women. I knew since we were children that Antonella was my soulmate and the love of my life, and our destinies were already predestined, I never needed to have those temptations that the sports environment has.

When Luisa talks about you, she speaks with the same eyes shining with love as I do when talking about Antonella. So Joe, I am giving my most precious jewel into your hands, so I ask that you take good care of her and treat her as she should be treated, Luisa is a princess, she is a goddess, she is one of the people with the most soulful Sweetest man in the world, if I find out about any of the shit you've done to my daughter, your career will be terminated prematurely, do we understand? - At that moment, Messi angrily cuts a steak with a large knife, looking directly into Joe's eyes with a frightening look, at that moment the quarterback is petrified.

- Yes, Leo, I will never hurt Luisa, I am very much in love with her and I am capable of giving my life for her, she is the first woman I have truly fallen in love with, you can rest assured that she is safe with me - Joe speaks with a firm voice, but still afraid of Messi's threats

      - That's exactly what I like to hear, kid. And since you're joining our family, there are three fundamental rules you need to follow 

  - Of course Leo, what are the rules?

   -First rule: the main one is to treat Luisa like a goddess and not do anything that breaks her heart

- Second rule: you are in a family of Argentineans, so try to intensify your studies in Spanish, your Spanish is horrible, I always had difficulties learning English and since I came to Miami, I have studied a lot to be able to speak English, so I hope you do the same, as you need to be part of our culture

- Third and final rule, but not the least important: in my house, I don't want that talk of “soccer”, or any similar shit, are we understood?

- Yes Leo, but…

- There are no buts, it's football and that's the end of the matter. Your sport is not football, it has nothing to do with real football. American football is nothing more than a poorly made copy of rugby

-Leo... - Joe tries to speak

- And you still have the courage to call yourselves world champions when you win that shitty Super Bowl? Wow, how can you be a world champion if only teams from the same country compete in the league?

-Leo... - Joe tries to speak again successless

- I AM A LEGITIMATE WORLD CHAMPION!!! I played in a World Cup with 32 teams from each country and won all my games, in that wonderful game against France, you watched it, right?

- Of course Leo, the whole world was watching that game, I was even supporting Argentina

- You know very well that even if you win the Super Bowl or some shit like that, it doesn't come close to winning the World Cup or the Champions League, right?

- But…

- I wasted precious time of my life watching the super bowl, what a lack of organization when handing out the trophy, without any elegance, FIFA is corrupt as hell Joe, but at least they know how to organize a decent awards ceremony, LEARN THE FUCK

- Leo, it's not me who's part of the organization, it's the NFL

- That's why your sport is not worthy of being called football, that's it, subject closed, are we understood?

Joe nodded without being able to breathe, he was definitely afraid of Messi. If his friend Ja'marr were here, he would laugh until 2084 when he saw your scared face. The difference in height between Messi and Burrow is funny, but we can see that height doesn't mean anything, as the giant Joe is scared shitless of Messi. Finally the barbecue is ready and the family gets together for lunch.

Luisa asks Joe softly

- What was it like helping dad?

- It was great, honey, it was really good - Joe says, forcing a smile

- He didn't say anything much to you, right? - she asks worriedly 

- No, my love, that's it, we just had men's conversations - Joe says, forcing a smile

- If he says anything to you, don't hesitate to let me know, okay?

-Of course my love- he gives her a peck

And so was the beginning of Joe Burrow's adventure as a new member of the Messi clan. As time went by, Messi accepted Joe, and saw that he was wrong in his previous judgment about his character. Luisa and Joe lived a fairytale relationship, the Argentinean was proposed shortly after the Bengals' victory in the Super Bowl in 2025, the wedding took place in February 2026 with ceremonies in Argentina and the USA, Messi cried profusely when taking her daughter to the altar and never failing to leave her classic threat to Joe, and the family soon expanded, with Luisa giving birth to twins Jordan and Mason, who were identical copies of Joe, and so the Messi-Burrow family followed suit. life with lots of love and happiness.

Spanish dictionary:

mi amor- my love 

mi princesa- my princess 

te amo mucho- i love you so much 

boludo- asshole 

Hija, como te extrañé- daughter, i’ve missed you

[trashytoastboi]

Day of Lust - Asmodeus

~NSFW Alphabet~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warning: NSFW content ahead (whole bunch of this and that)

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)

💅🏻 Asmo knows the importance of aftercare and is very good at it. The pillow talk from his end is a little one sided; you'd think he’s having a conversation with himself. Asking if what he did felt good for you- but then answering his own question saying he knows it was great. Asmo does genuinely check in to make sure you’re fine especially if there was some kind of intense play involved or a heavier scene that Asmo wanted to try. (He likes a lot of different things) Aside from his quality control questions he will ground you, bring you back to the present and make sure you’re feeling okay physically and mentally. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners.) 

💅🏻 Asmo is an anatomy genius for all the wrong reasons. He knows how to locate and sound out the exact erogenous zones on the human body. (His skills are not only limited to the human body) he doesn’t have a singular part of your body as it depends on whatever is the most sensitive. His favourite is whatever he knows will elicit the most response for you. If your back is sensitive then he’ll love to tease, touch and kiss your back. If it’s your thighs then he’ll turn his attention to your thighs, your neck, your sides etc etc. As for Asmo, his most loved part of his body is everything. Early on into his adjustment to his new form he never thought he’d be able to love himself but over time he came to love himself dearly, his new self and all the charms he possessed. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically) 

💅🏻 Loves cumming on your face or body. He just adores how sexy it is to see you covered in his cum. If Asmo does happen to cum inside you then best believe he’s going to lean down and clean up his own mess with his tongue (he is nasty in the best way). Asmo gets a rise from seeing how shy you get when he does it. As for quantity, it's an average amount. Thankfully with the amount of times he makes you swallow you’re thankful he's not giving you those monster loads because you just know you’d choke. He’s also pretty conscious about taste and tries alllll the methods to keep it tasting on the sweeter side to make it more palatable. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs.)

💅🏻 Asmo picked up a few interesting hobbies, his regular, somewhat secretive cam shows being one of them. What better way to feed his need for attention while displaying the purest form of the Avatar of Lust. Frequently made little jokes about wanting his partner to join him during one of his cam sessions. There were already tons of people who already watched him, even a few fans who always suggested things! Asmo wanted to share his beauty in every aspect. It was the least he could do for his adoring fans. But now he wanted to show off your beauty, oh those adorable little moans and whimpers when you call his name. He would be so selfish to keep it all to himself. The idea alone of fucking you on stream had Asmo all hot and bothered. Asmo usually proposed the occasional theme, or took suggestions, maybe buying some kind of sexy outfit for you to show off and wear when you two were together. He decided to suggest a masquerade theme to make things exciting. Asmo's dirtiest little secret was never telling you about the hidden camera. Nor the live audience who were tipping Asmo everytime he made you cum. You also realized in future it might be a good idea to use your account to suggest more fun things since Asmo loved listening to his followers and you were one of his favourite fans that suggested many fun things, not that he realized it was you. 

E = Experienced (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

💅🏻 Asmo definitely knows what he’s doing. It would be stranger if he didn’t. He knows how to do things and in a variety of ways too. You didn’t realize that the same act could have so many variations and alternatives, it was almost like taking a masterclass everytime he fucks you. Asmo loved exploiting your lack of knowledge to surprise you with something new every time. It’s more prevalent whenever Asmo himself learns something new, he’ll be running to give you a demonstration of whatever he learned. Oh look, a new position, he’s pulling you into his room already, some crazy new tongue technique that he wants to perfect while using you as his practice dummy. Asmo after all is so very generous with knowledge. Pleasure makes the world go round.  

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

💅🏻  Listen Asmo truly has a taste for the challenging, but you can say for certain it’s unique and sometimes just a little bit on the challenging side to master. 

💅🏻The Spider - You weren’t so sure about this one, Asmo gave you the rundown and the how to. But it just didn’t seem..Comfortable?? Asmo did explain it should be treated like an appetizer kind of position. It can rub all the right spots if done right it just never really gets you there, but that’s precisely why Asmo loves it. (Despite his poor partners having an aching back for the next few days) 

💅🏻 The Star - This quickly became one of your favourites too admittedly. Also made you appreciate how strong Asmo’s back must be to pull this off for an extended amount of time, you were more impressed by that than the amount of times he made you finish. Especially when he spices it up with a really deep thrust as he grinds against you.

💅🏻 The Thigh rider cowgirl - It’s just a little upgrade from regular ol cowgirl and Asmo loves it from the front row seat he gets when you’re on top. Plus it’s hot that you’re getting all needy while riding him and grinding against his thigh at the same time. It’s so pretty to see you getting there, most of the time in this position,  he doesn’t offer you a hand because he loves seeing you getting yourself off by using his body. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? Etc)

💅🏻 Asmo is honestly so unserious and not in a humorous way. You’ll be so into it and catch him on Devilgram or something and you’ll just have to ask if he’s being serious that he’s literally doom scrolling right now. (He is) Sometimes he’ll be trying to show you a funny video or reel he found while rearranging your guts and you can’t keep up with whiplash. It can really kill your mood and he can sense that, then a switch flips and Asmo will get serious to make it up to you and get you back into the mood. 

H =  Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc) 

💅🏻 He is completely clean and ridiculously smooth. You’d swear that he has never grown any hair to begin with. You did ask if he’s even capable of growing a happy trail (or any body hair for that matter) and Asmo assures you that he can definitely do it! It might take a long while. Hard to believe and you’ll believe it when you see it. I mean you’re not complaining but you’re hounded by curiosity to know if the carpet matches the drapes since you’ve never seen the ever elusive and mystic carpet. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) 

💅🏻 Asmo is a very sensual soul, he’s tried his hand at romance and can’t really go beyond the aesthetic of romance. Scented candles, rose petals and the like, the emotional aspect of romance isn’t really his style. If you had to find a way to describe it. Then the best way would be saying it’s like a summer fling. It’s hot, passionate but lacking a certain intimacy to it, like a deeper level of the corny romance. When you’re wrapped up in the moment you don’t miss it all that much, however, you do wish that you could experience something of the romantic variety with Asmo. It just doesn’t do it for him though and he won’t feel a reason or urge for romance in that sense. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

💅🏻 A little self love, Asmo is all for it. Very pro self pleasure. No one can learn one’s body quite like they can. Every time he does it he considers it an opportunity to get acquainted with his body again. He’ll also encourage you to do it! (Not Asmo suggesting watching each other masturbate) While in most cases he’d argue that he prefers having a partner or partners, he doesn’t mind giving himself a helping hand. Uses a lot of toys and sometimes calls you up so he can hear your voice while he’s busy. Asmo loves it when he learns something new about himself. 

K = Kink (One or more of the kinks)

💅🏻 He’s a kinky one and while that would be a bullet list so long you might confuse it for a shopping list, here’s three worthy of mention.

💅🏻 Exhibitonism - Asmo loves putting on a show and he loves being watched, or at least thinking he’s being watched. If there’s not another person to play the role of a voyeur he’ll propose taking photos and videos and in that sense the camera becomes the watcher. 

💅🏻 Bondage - Either on himself or on you. There’s a certain charm to being all tied up and at the mercy of someone else, uses it on you more for teasing purposes because he knows you can’t do anything while he’s driving you made with pleasure. 

💅🏻 Role Playing - This is really where Asmo lets his kinks shine, all the different roles he assumes and those he wants you to play. You’ve done the typical ones: Nurse and doctor, lonely spouse and repair man, cop and criminal. Asmo loves it so much and he puts ridiculous amounts of effort into cultivating an actual story for the scene?? (Came for the porn stayed for the plot) 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

💅🏻 Anywhere - No seriously he has 0 issues about location 

💅🏻 He’s had you in more than a few bathrooms of the high end nghtclubs of the Devildom, his personal favorite are the ones that have LED lights on the mirrors because he says they make for the nicest pictures. Plus he loves having you bent over the sink looking at yourself in the mirror while he’s ruining you (affectionately of course) and then will use the same mirror to fix his makeup.

💅🏻 Asmo has had you just about everywhere in the House of Lamentation, save for (most) of his brothers bedrooms… Once he managed to convince you to fuck in Lucifers bed, you honestly don’t know why you agreed and were all the orgasms really worth the punishment?

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going?)

💅🏻 Asmo doesn’t need all that motivation when he’s the motivator, he’s a hair's breadth away from getting needy whether by something sexy or absolutely mundane his brain can spin it any way he wants it. Well only when it comes to you, everything and anything you do can get him going. You're attractive in so many ways that he can’t help getting all hot and bothered while watching you perform boring day to day tasks. He likes when you initiate contact with him and it doesn’t have to be of the sexual variety. 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

💅🏻 He’s pretty kinky and he’s tried everything at least once, kudos to him and his curiosity. Things that he tried and will probably not do again has to do with certain body fluids, nope- it ruined his skin, the smell was a major turn off for him and overall the most enjoyable part of the experience was the shower and full body scrub afterwards. He’d permit blood, not tons of it and with your permission of course but he will not delve into watersport territory again. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

💅🏻 He’s a giver and a taker, it’s a two way street for Asmo and he couldn’t choose because it’s 50/50 for him and he loves them equally. There’s a charm to going down on his partner, sucking, slurping, maybe a little nibble or two to drive them mad while he works them over with all the accumulated tongue skills. He’s also not a major meanie who makes you choke on his cock or anything like that (unless you want to of course) Asmo really likes seeing you get all brave and try to take him all, something about seeing your throat bulge just drives him feral.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc) 

💅🏻 Baby he can do anything you want. Asmo changes his mind halfway through sometimes and it might start rough, hot and heavy and end up being all soft and sensual (Whiplash) but different strokes for different folks (not kidding) Asmo will learn what really gets you going and how to cater to that. He sticks to it enough to know that you’re getting just what you want but also switches it up to keep it exciting. If you’re energetic and up for it, Asmo could easily have you screaming into his sheets while going at an inhuman pace, but if you're a little more on the tired side he’ll give you some Asmo therapy and really take care of you. 

Q = Quickie (They opinions on quickies, how often etc)

💅🏻 Biggggg fan of these. They’re cheeky, daring and exciting. Plus there’s a real appeal to the rush of it all just trying to get each other off as quickly as possible. Watching you get all whiney and needy while not even taking your clothes off properly and begging him to not tease because there’s no time and you need him right now. (Makes his brain go brrrr) 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? Etc)

💅🏻 Do I need to answer? It’s hard to find something that Asmo hasn’t already tried. He believes he can only decide on hating something after trying it, and with you he knows you might have some reservations. So he’ll assess something in depth, looking at the risk and doability before bringing it up to you. He’s very informative about what it will entail, what to expect, and some things to look out for. Asmo does encourage you to experiment and push your limits but he’ll do so gently and respectfully with full boundaries intact.  

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

💅🏻 While I would usually say he’s a one and done, he's got a crazy amount of control and endurance and can make that one round last an eternity.  Could push for a second round if he really wants to though it’s rarely needed by the time he’s done. You’re usually too fucked out that the second round actually sounds like overkill. Besides he’s got a mouth, hands, toys, a whole arsenal at his disposal and he might just make you regret asking for more. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themselves?)

💅🏻 He has the whole collection; nipple clamps, anal beads, monster dildos, fleshlights, buttplugs, chastity cages, vibrators- if it exists Asmo probably has it. There’s some things in his collection that you've never seen nor knew existed and some you now wish you didn’t know existed. Asmo knows how to use all of them and even gives you recommendations telling you which are the best for a little self love, which are great for playing with partners, and what's great for teasing. Loves using them on himself and you, honestly it’s hard to say you’ve been together without a toy being integrated into the mix somehow. 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease?)

💅🏻 He’s just soooo mean, he’ll tease you just for the sake of teasing. Asmo loves hearing you beg and will really deny you under the guise of calling it foreplay. He wants you to save yourself for the main event but god does he know exactly how to get you to the verge only to deny you and keep you frustrated. Asmo does it just to see how far he can push you until you’re desperately begging him to give you what you want already. He’s lowkey a little sadistic about it. 

V = Volume (How loud they are? What sounds they make? Etc)

💅🏻 Whines, whimpers, moans, talks, yelps - he’s got a range. He’s so shamelessly loud and does not care about keeping it down, even at the sake of disturbing his poor brother's sleep. Trust the whole House of Lamentation knows when ya’ll are fucking because he practically announces it. Half the time you’re in public it’s a struggle just trying to get Asmo to keep quiet, all of your close calls have been because of him being too loud. Asmo loves hearing his own voice honestly and will talk a lot just to talk. 

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character?)

💅🏻 Matching lingerie sets ♡ he loves buying you lingerie and he’ll get himself the same pair in a different colour. The designs are ridiculously intricate (and hard to put on) He treats it like unwrapping a gift and wants it if it has a lot of things to pull on, untie and undo. Especially with his mouth, he wants you to figure it out too, but it’s hard to beat a demon that just unlaced an entire corset in under a minute with nothing but his ungodly tongue skills. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes?)

💅🏻 Not very thick, more on the longer side. Slight curve and the prettiest shade of pink on his head. He has a prince albert piercing, he knows how to use it so it gets the job done (and very well you might add) lots of smaller veins along the underside that are all super sensitive and make him shiver if you touch him. 

💅🏻 Demon form - Not much change to size but changes shape a little. Gets a more horned tip, (perfect to really bump against all your sensitive zones) and gains a few ridges the texture of which feels pretty interesting and intense at times. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

💅🏻 Very high- he’s a needy boi. He’s just always down for that kind of fun and hopes you’ll join him. If you’re not in the mood then he’ll help himself along (honestly doesn't mind) buttttt he’d appreciate it if you watched him while he put on quite the show for you, an orgasm (or many) a day keeps the sad feels at bay! 

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards?)

💅🏻 He’ll deliver the swiftest, most amazing aftercare, proceed to bathe and do his skin routine before tapping out and going to bed. He does it out of necessity to meet his beauty sleep quota more than exhaustion. Loves cuddles afterwards though and helps him to sleep a little deeper than usual. 

Taglist: @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf