#he knows me too well
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pseudowho · 11 months ago
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Today my husband bought new work clothes.
Comes to me in a new navy shirt, brown leather tie, boots, and braces.
Leans in and whispers "you can pull my tie if you like".
I just
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I can't
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He knows
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yutaholic · 1 year ago
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funny story this is an actual conversation between me and my nephew last night
nephew: hey there's another nct music video
me: oh? but they just dropped baggy jeans
nephew: yeah it's short it's called the bat
me: the bat?
nephew: yeah check it out it's really good and catchy
me: I will later I'm working on something right now
nephew: Yuta looks really hot
me:
nephew: *hands me his tablet with the mv pulled up*
me: thank you sir
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nina-ya · 3 days ago
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I told my bf I wanted to go home and 😭😭😭😭
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ren-berry · 21 days ago
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just went on a date with my boyfriend and his boyfriend and this really pretty waitress gave me her number and flirted with me
now my boyfriend and his boyfriend have a bet of how long it takes us to fuck. i love my hooligan.
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tabbydragon · 11 months ago
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dani-pixie · 9 days ago
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When my husband wants to play a game that requires his mic to be on to avoid some monster or ghost, he distracts me so that I don't intentionally make too much noise.
This time, he bought me a new wine to try (sweet red blend: 10/10) and then gathered my stuff and set it on the bed. He set out my blanket and stuffed salmon with the pillows stacked to support my back. He also set up Stardew Valley on my laptop, ready for me to go. He even had me a glass of wine poured with the bottle by the bed.
Sure, he did it to distract me, but I love that he knows me so well and makes sure I feel remembered even if it is to keep me occupied.
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leche-flandom · 6 months ago
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I just told my husband that getting a cat would fix me and he said, "I wish to GOD it was that easy to fix you" LLLLOOOOOLLLLL THIS FUCKER
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kafkasgirlhood · 2 months ago
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me while there's islamic cartoons on the tv and i'm forced to sit there and watch: *plugs in airpods* father hermes pls cheer me up
hermes: ok! ^0^ *international love starts playing*
me: johnny cage? 🥹
hermes: johnny cage. 🥹
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finalgrrrl · 4 months ago
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i was sitting in my room by myself and my parents were in the living room watching the olympics and they wanted me to come hangout with them so my dad yelled "hania, the ladies are fighting!"
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jnsnte · 6 months ago
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the way… THE WAYYYYY
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cardiodrama · 7 months ago
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live nation and i seem to have very different definitions of near
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aliswagz · 1 year ago
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when noah kahan said “ someday I’m gonna be somebody people want”
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angelosearch · 11 months ago
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Me re: Squall Leonhart
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witchcraftingboop · 1 year ago
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Me: What is the opposite of sleep deprivation? Because I have that!
Work Bestie, mid-sandwich bite: ... Well rested? Hyper?
Me: Yes, that one! Hyper!!
Work Bestie, laughing: Get out of my office
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whereisalicedotcom · 1 year ago
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What are you looking at what are you looking at what are you looking at I want all of them.......
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fidgetspringer · 2 years ago
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He got scared by the wind making the trees rattle, so he just refused to move.
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