#he knows his way around y'know?
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deadpoets · 6 months ago
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How much of him is there in me?
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moa-broke-me · 2 years ago
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Y'know I'm not as big on machiavellian Nico as you are, but this is all fascinating and awesome!
On the other hand... I have another idea.
What if, hear me out, he dies (and gets deified by his father) because the vote to save him goes the wrong way. Like, Hazel and Percy are still voting yes, but everyone else slowly gets turned against him. It's easy to convince Piper, she loves and trusts Jason and doesn't know Nico at all, so she has no attachment to him or frame of reference for what he's like. If Jason believes Nico to be untrustworthy, then she'll believe him. It's a bit harder for Frank, even though he normally trusts Jason's leadership, because him and Nico knew each other before this, and he just seemed like a quiet, surprisingly nice emo kid.
But I have a theory that the reason Leo didn't want Nico on his ship wasn't just because 'bad vibes' or whatever, it was for the safety of the ship itself; The Argo II was made for the sky and the sea, not the catacombs. Hazel is already on board, they're already pushing their luck with her. And if her brother joins, there's a sizable chance that the whole thing will be struck by lightning or swallowed whole by a kraken. It's the same reason Percy can never board an airplane; The gods can be petty and it's best not to take chances. If the ship goes, the crew goes with it, including Nico. He'll probably die either way, he may as well go out taking one for the team.
Frank is still skeptical, and dislikes Leo anyway. But even he can't argue with that logic. He feels dirty voting in favor of letting Nico die, someone he considered a friend. And going against Hazel's wishes, the girl he loves. In fact, she blows up and goes 'a pox on both your houses' on their asses, calling out every single one of them, going the hardest on Jason because she idolized him, damn it, she wanted to be him! And he's gonna let her brother, a child, die a slow, painful death, afraid and alone in the dark.
And when she feels him die that slow, painful death, it hurts more than anything has before. She's already made a shroud for him, and she burns it with her own matches because Leo doesn't deserve to touch it, to dirty it with the grease under his nails and the cowardice in his heart, and she looks at everyone while she does and tells them that if the fate of the world wasn't in their hands, she would've dropped that match on the ship's wooden floorboards and burned everyone on it alive, including herself.
Nico wakes up in Hades' palace, and he doesn't realize he's a god yet. He thinks Hades just saved him last minute, and took him to his room to recover. He's stronger than he thought he'd be, but he doesn't realize why at first.
It's only when he accidentally cuts his hand on something, and he sees that his blood is now gold. Hades reveals that, yes, he did die. But before he could cross the styx properly, Hades found him and took him in his arms himself. Not before killing Otis and Ephialtes with his bare hands in a fit of rage, of course. He took him down to the palace, and while his soul was sleeping, he was crowned the god of selflessness and sacrifice and devotion.
On the topside, it is now Hazel who is forced to shoulder the burden of the Athena Parthenos. She's stronger, since she's not been through as much, physically speaking. But has less control of her powers. And even she cannot do this alone. She calls upon Hecate for strength, but it's not just her. Nico's listening in, and he's helping too. She doesn't know until she sees him at camp and he tells her everything. He holds her to his chest and lets her cry, telling her only that he loves her before he leaves to face Gaea. While Pipers charmspeaking her, he's pulling from his new strength as a god, putting her to sleep the way he did the skeleton guards when he was breaking Percy out of his father's dungeon.
But he doesn't make himself known to anyone else. He lets Piper believe, lets everyone believe, that she was the one to lay the world to rest.
Oh, but it's not over yet.
Kronos is still lying in wait.
Even gods need to sleep, and even gods dream when they do. And when he does, Kronos appears to him. He's had his eye on Nico since he was alerted to his and his sister's presence, and, ever since his innocence was stolen on the day of Saturn's remembrance, he's had a... Personal investment.
Grudges are his fatal flaw, he's heard it said. But he's already dead. What more could he have to lose, then, if he were to indulge in some good old fashioned revenge?
He could have Percy take his place, if he wished, and he would live. All he has to do is go back in time, which Kronos will gladly help with, being the lord of time and all... And protect himself, from back in the labyrinth.
Edit: I have an ending in mind now!
So the way I think the time travel thing should work is that, rather than a loop, god!Nico stays in the new timeline as the old timeline fades from existence. He's the only relic of that older timeline, everyone else from there is gone, they don't exist anymore. God!Nico is just, like, a different character basically, but with all the same powers, and, for the most part, memories, that mortal!Nico does.
Oh, and what about Hazel? Well, since he's a god now, he doesn't need to sneak her back to the living world, he has the authority to resurrect her properly. At first, he wants her to be deified like him, but she refuses. She doesn't want the responsibility, and she doesn't fear death, since she knows what it's like. She only wishes to live a longer, happier life than what she had before.
So, the ending! Essentially, god!Nico advises mortal!Nico against having Percy take on the Achilles' curse, letting him die at some point in the battle of manhattan. Mortal!Nico is furious, still nursing that old crush of his, but god!Nico insists Percy must die so that he can live, just like Kronos said. He's not sure how that's gonna work, exactly, but...
Oh.
Oh no.
Kronos was just gonna use Nico to kill Percy, or let him die. And probably kill him off too, once he's no use to him anymore.
Well, he can betray too. He can do battle with the one he so foolishly trusted. He's a god now, is he not? He can be any age he chooses to be.
And now, he chooses to be sixteen.
Time-travel AU in which Nico adopts his younger self. Go figure.
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sysig · 1 year ago
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Care for your sparring partner (Patreon)
Bonus:
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#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Sylvia#Wander#Everyone asking Peepers questions that just skirt that line: The Series lol#Shoutout to Autumn for directing my attention this way and encouraging my brain to think about this A Lot lol#Drawing Peepers sliding around 'cause he just throws himself into everything ✨ That's it that's the whole thought lol#I haven't worn a binder for long enough to lose my breath so apologies if this isn't quite how it goes but y'know - *gestures at The Vibe*#He would overwork himself to the point of nearly passing out if it meant he could keep fighting the way he wants to pfft#Sylvia's rough and tumblr and she can be mean but even she won't kick him while he's down! Mom friend activate haha#She's grown a lot <3#Also getting a bit easier to draw her >:3c She does have a fun design :D#Her mouth is the most fun haha ♪ It really reminds me of Moomin! Cute cutout shape :3#''Why are you fighting with like five coats on'' ''Dysphoria'' ''Ah''#Notice how he covers his chest when she brings up his ''tank top'' ♪ She just goes on giving him a lecture and he's like ''Did she notice''#She didn't lol especially if that bonus is any indication#Weeks/Months/Years later and she's just like ''So that time we were fighting he was- He wasn't- :0000'' Lol#Bonus Wander brushing her comb ♪ Gotta take care of his best friend/steed! Probably just knocking the dust and dirt off haha#Their discussion would probably be silly hehe you know he'd ask and then /she'd/ ask#''Did you know??'' ''I don't make it my business to pry into other's personal matters-'' ''First of all that's not even a little bit true''#It's just all about respecting boundaries! All the way around :) Respect the sanctity of the relationship whether it's friendly or combative
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brown-little-robin · 1 month ago
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you restore my faith in humanity. idk you're just so genuine and unobstructed from being yourself and loving everything around you. every time i think the world sucks i think about Robin From Tumblr and i'm like Hm maybe it isn't all bad
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AW THANKS <33333 I TRY
#favorite posts <3#I didn't come to humanity pre-fabricated with no barriers to love I've just been. working on it y'know. and I've been shaped this way#ok and not to get religious on you but#(points at my ani-sama the Christ) he helped#mostly by putting a lot of wonderful people around me so I could see his love working in them. in humanity#btw this is a tangent but I absolutely adore this Japanese Christian term for Jesus: ani-sama#because ''ani'' is such an intimate casual direct way to say ''big brother''. to the point of almost being rude how intimate it is#and -sama is the highest honorific <333 and together it's just so good because it's like. yeah. my deeply revered adored big brother#he who I respect and love and who is closer to me relationally than anyone else while also higher in status than me (positive)#it really wraps up the feeling of going ''oh I want to be like you''. the kind of literal hero worship only a good big brother can inspire#(looking at all my mutuals + honorary mutuals) do they know I can see god in them? do they know their love and goodness is divine#I got an extra half hour of sleep tonight and it's making me so sappy about humanity. we are such wonderful beings we have so much potentia#—potential every single one of us#but yeah it has taken me so much intentional taming my fears and comforting the lonely little child who lives inside me to get this way#basically what I'm trying to say is THANK YOU SO MUCH and also YOU CAN DO IT TOO <333 and also THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HELPED#–ME GET HERE
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wellhalesbells · 10 months ago
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the thing that fucks me up about rereading instructions for dancing is trying to pinpoint when it is that derek becomes obsessed with stiles and realizing the answer seems to be always. from the beginning. the moment they met. that poor bastard. he probably should have tried to be a little nicer about it, though, saved them both some hardship.
I think it slides so quickly from fear and annoyance that Stiles will steal Scott away to 'Oh no, oh fuck,' I'm not even sure Derek knows himself. Poor guy hamstrung himself by starting out with the 'I'm going to scare him away' mentality then wondering where the hell that went and trying to find it again through almost every subsequent interaction (while something so much bigger and so much worse - Derek's Thoughts™ - completely eclipsed it). Meanwhile Stiles also helps cultivate Derek's dickish-ness by assuming that original motivation to be his only interest in him at all, essentially until the moment Derek tells him he's in love with him.
Which is hopefully why it seemingly comes out of left field for Stiles and the reader, because that's what I wanted.
#i mean you should definitely think: uh ohhh derek caught feeelings before that moment#but since it's stiles and scott pov - they are the bright spots in each other's worlds so they are the focus#and occasionally derek will come along and glow around the edges and distract stiles a bit but that's all he is - a momentary distraction#and he's still that when he finds out that scott may be stiles' bright spot but they don't want each other the way derek wants#and so he blurts out 'i'm in love with you' before someone else shows up to want the same way he does#and since we've been in stiles' head and only gotten to see the moments that define him and derek is in so few of those#he's COMPLETELY thrown for a loop because what do you mean?? how could derek be in love with him??#how could stiles be all his defining moments and NOT know it y'know?#(because if you got instructions from derek's pov stiles wOULD BE so many of them)#and realizing they are in different places by a lot but not wanting that to mean they can't be anything more to each other says#'give me a chance to catch up' which in my mind is the only thing and the perfect thing#that was the very first scene i wrote for that fic actually - it changed almost ENTIRELY before the end but that line stayed the same#i just love the idea that you can be totally oblivious to something so defining for someone. that people can be such enigmas#inject that shit directly into my veins pls and thank you!#sorry i just love that dynamic so i can yammer on for DAYS about it lol#thank you for the ask and yeah you're pretty dead on about that haha#instructions for dancing#sterek#teen wolf#!ask
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vulpinesaint · 10 months ago
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i don't talk about alucard castlevania very often because the last season of castlevania was so bad to me that i just don't engage with the show anymore like that but make no mistake. i have many thoughts and opinions on that man.
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magentagalaxies · 2 months ago
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#vent incoming (nothing too serious i just need to complain about being mentally ill)#ugggggh can i just have ONE major creative project that doesn't brush up against my ptsd??? like literally just one???#like with my musical i wrote that was kind of a given bc i was writing that as a (not always healthy) coping mechanism#but now i'm working on this doc and it's like yippee it's not about me and it's a topic i love and working with incredibly supportive peopl#but then that asshole from my college just had to go and traumatize me last semester in a way very tied to the doc#and like luckily i don't have to deal with that asshole anymore. i can just work on my silly little doc and do my silly little interview#with my silly little 65-year-old best friends lmao. except whoops! even tho all that traumatic shit is far behind me#literally the act of preparing for an interview is poking at my ptsd again!! what the fuck!!!#@ my ptsd - The Asshole From Your College Is Not Going To Teleport To Toronto To Ruin Your Interview You Dumbass#it sucks but y'know i'm gonna get through it bc it's worth it to keep going#and honestly this is the best project to be working through shit like that bc scott's also someone who makes very personal art#which can end up brushing up against ptsd. like we literally connected over his ''ptsdiva'' podcast#and he's said the main thing that made me stand out after our first conversation was that i was the first person irl to mention the podcast#and also even if i wish it hadn't gone like this. scott *was* around when i was dealing with being traumatized by that college asshole#and he was so supportive while i was processing my shit and made it clear he'd defend me if he needed to#and i've gotten the opportunity to be there for him during his own rough times while working on this documentary#so like. it'll be fine. i hope i can just feel my feelings and get over it before the interview itself. but if not scott will understand#but yeah fuck that guy from my college and i hope he knows all the kids in the hall would hate him for what he did to me
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wander-over-the-words · 11 months ago
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"Benny is the only one who gets away with treating Ethan like a short person" btw means that if someone else laid their chin on top of Ethan's head or picked him up Ethan would fuckin *FERAL CAT HISS*
but then Benny does it and Ethan just :3
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skrunksthatwunk · 10 months ago
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do you guys know that video of the very very southern man comforting his dog after he threw up in his truck. im not great with accents but i think he's from louisiana bc he sounds a bit like my grandpa. i miss him...
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theconfusedartist · 1 year ago
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maybe this is weird (and I do promise I’m dropping the rest of the lore in a hour or so) but
in the rewrite, i always write Altaïr as seeing Desmond as:
Altaïr: this is my little brother, my son, my best friend, and annoying twin that makes all the reckless mistakes i already learned from. i love my boy, but damn if he doesn’t be doing some wild shit
wereas Desmond is like
Desmond: i love Altaïr! he’s my brother, my best friend, one of the few people who I’d happily consider my father, my face twin, and (did I already mention?) best friend! he makes a lot of mistakes, and we disagree about lots of stuff, but i’m so happy he’s in my life
Altaïr in permutation 17: this sucks. Des isn’t even here right now (hist time) and he can’t even hear me when I’m trying to talk to him (in modern time)
Desmond in permutation 17: this sucks. Altaïr isn’t even here right now (modern time) and I’m so fucking lonely !! !! !! now I’ve gotta die to turn on the eye and then what?! no one is coming back for me!! I don’t even know where Alex is, I’m just praying that I’ll survive after dying to get Elijah and keep him safe, but this shit sucks!
#y'know the funny thing is#i spent almost an entire month and a half#rewriting assassin's creed--just all of it--with the intention that desmond stays alive and eventually gets to live happily#which is still the main endgoal of the protocreed au#but like??? every character in AC that would've treated Desmond well was DEAD and all of his living allies would most definitely use him#even if they're his family or friends he would never be put firts#*first#i was genuinely thinking about giving up on the rewrite simply bc in canon there is no character that was alive and willing to treat Desmond#like he's someone that matters#and i knew that Desmond time traveling was a thing but I still wanted the modern day era to still have weight#and the way ubisoft wrote their ac games is that: there is no hope. not really#no matter what you or other people do good will never win#and i was truly unsure how to get around that depressing narrative#but then!!!#suddenly protocreed!#i don't know what possessed me to plug that disc back in but--#i played that game and i was like: yeah he's dating desmond#like-I don't even know how to say this#but Desmond and Alex OTP for the win and i don't have any in universe explanation for it (on Desmond's side) simply bc#both the assassins and the templars don't let the man socialize they just plug him in the animus and expect him to be seen and not heard#like the Manhattan connection was really easy to make since Desmond was kidnapped there and then returns in AC3 to make a lovely full cirlce#but all I could think was Alex definitely loves this man#they make each other better AND worse#anyways#this is a lot of tags talk about Alex and Desmond#when Alex isn't even in the main post but#Altaïr Claudia and Ezio are Desmond's closest family#and he's very close to Connor and Aveline but he's taken for such a fucking ride#when the grandparents that took him in when he was truly in a bad way#ends up being the same people who are his ancestors and not? dead?
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arolesbianism · 6 months ago
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Thinking abt my dupe ocs again... Maybe Quinn does have hashtag issues actually
#rat rambles#oni posting#oc posting#theyre very well known and liked amongst all the colonies as y'know. they helped found all of them.#and theyve always been very friendly and kind and they have always taken their responsibilities incredibly seriously#and when they get time to be on a planet they relish it as they have a great deal of appreciation for the beauty of these worlds#but one thing that has always been a thing for them is that they've never rly had like. friends amongst these colonies#partially because of them having to travel constantly but even when they get time to hang out more theyve sort of unconsciously trained#themself to be a bit emotionaly detached from those around them#it also doesnt help that theyre a digger and usually one of like 2 or 3 on any given planetoid#which earlier on meant thar they rarely encountered other dupes and late on left then with little to do as most of the ongoing work was#already being managed by others specifically trained for the role#so the isolation started to get to them and they started to get rly antsy and didn't know why or how to fix it#when the printing pod went offline they were one of the ones more calm abt the matter due to them being generally more used to the unknown#and this combined with their general good reputation lead to a lot of dupes looking to them for direction and answers alongside burt#this actually made quinn feel rly good for a while since it was their excuse to actually talk to ppl regularly and in more personal ways#theyd hear out ppls anxieties and ideas and newest passions and goals and theyd actually feel like theyre hearing the words said#they liked the feeling of everyone wanting to be around them and seeking them out even on other planetoids#they'd get phone calls and people taking breaks from their work to come say hi and it made them feel real#but as time went on and their fellow dupes became more and more self reliant they began to seek them out less and less#because why bother someone so important and busy when you dont need to right?#and this lead to quinn going wait no why did you all leave me again :(#it felt like before but worse because now they actually had started considering a lot of these guys friends#and they still had no idea how to reach out themself without a work reason and as such they sorta started dissolving again#and its during this time when they start missing the pod and start to get more upset that shes gone#they end up returning to the original partially to be closer to her and partially because it feels the most like home to them#there they start to slowly learn to reach out themself as they sort of sit in a corner watching burt work while shaking like a small dog#this at first is very unwanted by burt who is stressed as hell but they end up forcing him to stick to an actual shift instead of just#working until he passes out and this allows them to hang out while they force him to have downtime with them to keep him from exploding#it becomes a nice comfort time for them both as they rly havent hung out much since the first like 100 cycles or so
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sleeperagentclone · 1 year ago
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Anyway, can't stop think about Fig and Gorgug being childhood friends
#Fantasy High#Fig Faeth#Gorgug Thistlespring#Like they met in elementary school and they're like best friends but they start to drift apart a bit as they get older#Like they're still friends into middle school they just don't hangout as much#Like that's where you really start to get cliches and I know I personally got insanely insecure and introverted around that age#So Fig is hanging out with the popular preppy girls and Gorgug is struggling with feeling really unsure of himself and like he doesn't#Belong so he is DEFINITELY not friends with Fig's friends#But then Fig's horns come in and Gorgug sees that all of her other friends stop hanging out with her#And he's worried about his friend so he goes and tries to talk to her#But she's confused and hurt and angry and lashes out at him because she's lashing out at everyone#And Gorgug walks away from that thinking that Fig hates him and Fig just starts pushing everyone away#And they both spend the next year? alone at a time when they really need each other#And then they both start high school#And Fig is a little less angry at the world in general having channeled it into being a cool ass rocker chick#And she feels like absolute shit pushing Gorgug away but she can't just say that#She can't just apologize and ask to be friends again#So she starts taking barbarian classes and acting like they already are friends#And the drumsticks are her way of communicating that she's sorry and that she cares about him#Y'know?#I'm watching The Forest of the Nightmare King and it would hurt so fucking much if Baby Fig could leverage Fig lashing out at Gorgug
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sysig · 1 year ago
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I’m just saying I think he has a type (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Sylvia#Black Eye#I guess technically sort of lol#The implication of ♪ The lead-up to ♫#I read Peepers as bi with a preference towards men and Sylvia his inverse lol#They work well as mlm/wlw solidarity too! Including understanding each other in That Bi Way y'know?#But I do also think that Sylvia is his type haha ♪ All these things can be true at once! Relationships are complex and ever-changing!#I also think it works best one-sided on Peepers' end - Sylvia is busy! And as just stated relationships are complex#Not just in trying to keep a relationship - they do see each other fairly often! - but also in keeping it private to both of their comforts#Being found out by their counterparts would be interesting hehe ♪ Wander would support them of course#Hater would probably be furious even just at knowing Peepers had a crush on her tbh - feeling lonely but also worried about intel haha#He's smart he's not going to go around leaking information like that! If anything he'd probably just be more ruthless to vent his feelings ♫#''Grop-darn Zbornak with her ability to bench me and stomp me into the dirt >O('' lol#The interpretation of him thinking he's sick over thinking he's romantically entangled is so correct#I also like the thought of Sylvia immediately having a repulsion reaction to finding out that Peepers likes her haha#''He WHAT??'' Wander would probably not help in her coming around just infodumping all his good points that she's not interested in lol#But then seeing him being that perfect little mixture of pathetic and competent that Peepers exemplifies <3 What's not to like about him#They have the right dynamic to get close! They have the potential! Fumbling and awkward the whole way but what other way is there hehe#It'd be so fun to watch ♪ What's there is already so fun to watch!
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enbyboiwonder · 2 years ago
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Y’know, when Lee came and found me and told me to give over any data disks and especially any weapons I find in the mines for destruction (and of course it was the fucking church who found me first and not the research center. Luckily though I found the research center soon after. The church ain’t getting shit), I thought I’d be finding old nuclear warheads down there or something. The first time I found a glowing purple dot on the scanner, I assumed it was a weapon, and when I pressed A, I thought it had taken me to the entrance or something and I couldn’t mine in that area anymore. I didn’t realize it had taken me to an unused room with a few monsters to kill and a few chests to loot (and I could go right back and keep right on mining), and I also hadn’t uncovered enough to see that it was a pipe. I realized the second time, though.
No, it’s the triple barrel snakebite, a.k.a. the poison blaster, as I like to think of it. The day after I first pieced one together and tried it out, I received a cease and desist letter from the church (and lost nonexistent favorability points w Lee and Nora lmao). lol how ‘bout no.
Anyways, fuck the church.
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pynkhues · 2 months ago
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I'm really, really sorry that happened to your friend, anon. I hope they were able to recover and get justice for what happened to them, and that you've been able to work through it too.
Thank you :) I'm not close enough with her to necessarily be privy to all her deepest feelings, but as far as I can tell, she really is fine and has been for a long time. She's a teacher and doing really well.
And yeah, I don't feel that way--like I'm looking through that filter--anymore, and a big part of that (not to overshare, but hey, maybe someone will read this and it will help them?) was getting diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. Since I was a kid I'd felt like violence and death were always lurking, to a degree that was illogical, and then the attack on my friend made that worse because it seemed like oh, I was right to feel that way. But getting worse eventually led to a diagnosis, which has led to getting a lot better! :)
(x)
I'm really glad both you and your friend are doing better and that the diagnosis helped, anon! It's wonderful when diagnoses give us not just a vocabulary and tools for what we experience, but an understanding of ourselves and I guess, context?
Not the same exactly, but my littlest nephew has a severe speech disability which has gone through about five almost-diagnoses and multiple tests which is crazy given he's only 6-years-old. He finally got an actual diagnosis a few months ago (childhood apraxia of speech, or CAS) and while there's complicated feelings involved in knowing talking isn't going to be something that'll ever be easy for him, even just getting to understand it better as a motor disability as opposed to a cognitive one has been extremely useful in helping us to support him in using his voice.
He doesn't really understand what his diagnosis means yet (although he knows people outside of the family struggle to understand him) but it's helped get him into more specific speech therapy and, if my sister wins relocation in family court next month, there's some social groups here in Melbourne where he can hopefully be around kids who are experiencing the same disability (it's a rare one, and there ae just more kids with it in the city) and understand what he's going through as he grows up. So yeah! It's pretty cool when a diagnosis offers not just pathways forwards, but a deeper understanding of self and points of connection too.
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angel---eater · 4 months ago
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Don't know why when I switched in I immediately felt like I was dying, but I guess we're back in the fuckin' building again.
#TT.txt#/ref. I mean I know exactly why and its just Mysterious Cluster B Bullshit#My partner had kind of a weird and rough time today and he ageslid and it was a brief but kind of scary mess. And I worry.#He's a whole adult and knows his own limits but I fret and worry and wring my faggoty little hands anyway because I love him and want#him to be okay always. He's really really important to me.#It's just.... excruciatingly hard being LDR for 12 years. I feel like I can't do much to help when he's in a rough spot and I'm over here.#I worry that I'm not the best at taking care of him when he's vulnerable like that too.#🧩 is the guy who looks after him usually because he's our Caretaker. I literally splintered him off just for that when we were kids#I'm getting better but I don't really have the confidence yet. That parts new to me.#Sounds weird maybe but y'know... plural. Shit can be sectioned off like this. But I'm usually the one being looked after by him.#And I'm the kind of person who isn't happy just taking. I want to give back very badly but I'm still... figuring out how to do that#in a healthy way.#I want to take care of and spoil my partners because they deserve it & it also makes me happy or at the very least settled and content.#Grounded I think is a better word. Yeah its grounding.#When take care of them sucessfully I'm also proving to myself that I'm capable of being okay. That I can trust myself too.#I just kind of really want to hold him right now :( when will the fucking borders let me see my husband again.#Sorry for tuning you in to self-therapy with Dirk but it's also my blog. Hi if you've read all this.#I love my pluralpolycule and I want to make sure they're all okay and not wanting for anything.#Legit all I want to fuckin' do is walk around with a goddamn tray of snacks for them all like everyone's housewife.#That'd be the life. I'd be so content doing that I'm so serious.#our t
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