#he just yells esa when he needs me

[whydoyoucare866]

Girlll how about Miguel x Hispanic!Wife! Reader and Miguel comes home all beaten up and shit with his suit glitching and she asks what happen and he explains how he chased down miles and she yells at him for beating up a child. Like full on Hispanic mom mode then she gets all soft with him and patches him up and cooks him something nice 😊

YOU WHAT?

omg bettt, sorry this took so long, I wrote it and forgot to save it before closing the app and lost everything 😭

Miguel O’Hara x Hispanic!Wife Reader

Masterlist

Warnings: Swear words

You and Miguel had been married for some years, you both met at the spider society, but ever since you got pregnant Miguel became too protective of you and insisted on you taking a break, he didn’t want you to make too much effort and hurt yourself, or even worse, he couldn’t handle the thought of losing another child or losing you, so eventually you gave in to his wishes and took a break.

You were cleaning your house (even though Miguel told you he would do it when he came back) while listening to songs that you’re sure you learnt from listening to them when your mom cleaned when you were younger, you know those sad old lady songs like the ones from Amanda Miguel, Pimpinela, Rocío Dúrcal, and artists like that “Amor, de verdad pareces una señora dolida” (Love, you’re acting like a depressed old lady) Miguel told you once when he came home to you screaming your lungs out to Así No Te Amará Jamás as if you had been through three divorces and four infidelities.

Suddenly your thoughts were interrupted when you heard the door aggressively open and heavy footsteps, you became excited as you knew that Miguel had finally arrived, but when you heard that he was stumbling around and you turned to him you were shocked. You saw your husband covered in bruises and wounds, and his suit was glitching, you hadn’t seen him like that in such a long time, you weren’t even sure that you had ever seen him that bad.

Hearing him groan in pain pulled you out of your shock state and you soon started to realize how messed up he actually looked.

“AY MIGUEL, QUE CHINGADOS TE PASÓ?” (AY MUGUEL, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?) you asked shocked

“Nothing, im fi-“ he couldn’t even finish his sentence without whining in pain

“Ay no, no me vengas con esas mamadas de que no te pasó nada y que no se que chingados, no puedes ni siquiera decir una oración completa y dices esas pendejadas de que estás bien? Yo no soy pendeja y tu lo sabes Miguel, a mi no me ves la cara. Dime que chingados te pasó antes de que yo me entere por mi cuenta.” (Oh no, don’t come tell me that dumb shit of nothing happened, you can’t even finish a sentence and you say that you’re fine? I’m not dumb and you know it well Miguel, you are not lying to me. Tell me what the fuck happened before I find out by my own)

“I already told you i’m fine my love, you don’t need to worry about me, really” he was now sitting down on your couch

You approached him and you now had a clearer view of his wounds “Ay no, mírate cómo estás, no no, estoy bien mis huevos, iiiih, no mames me estás manchando mi sillón, neta si no me vas a decir que te pasó mínimo déjame ayudarte con tus heridas amor” (Look at you, no no, I’m fine my ass, oh my god and you’re staining my couch, if you’re not gonna tell me what happened at least let me help you with your wounds love)

“You really don’t need to, I can do it mysel-“

“Ya cállate, te voy a ayudar porque te voy a ayudar y tu te vas a dejar, y si no te dejas donde vea que se te infectan las heridas vas a ver eh cabrón?” (Just shut up, I’m gonna help you and you’re gonna let me, and if you don’t if I see that your wounds get infected you’re done understood?)

“No te vas a rendir verdad? okay fine you can help me” (You’re not giving up are you?)

“Good, it wasn’t a question” you smiled at him while heading to your bathroom to get your emergency kit which you always kept even if Miguel told you to throw it away or that it wasn’t necessary multiple times.

You came back to your living room and started cleaning Miguels wounds “So, you’re gonna tell me what happened to you or?”

He sighed “Miles..” he said almost whispering

“Hm? say it again? I can’t hear you corazón”

“Miles”

“Miles? as in the kid you told me about?” he nodded

“He couldn’t have possibly done this right? he’s a kid, you said so, tell me the full story”

“He went to HQ, Gwen brought him… he broke a cannon event and destroyed a universe, then I had to tell him”

“About? go on mi cielo, I’m all ears”

He sighed “I had to tell him… about his cannon event”

“Oh… I’m guessing he didn’t take it well” he shook his head

“He wanted to save his dad even if it destroyed the universe, I had to chase him down, I had to tell him that he was an anomaly, Every single spider in the society chased him down and he still beat our asses and managed to escape, I was so close to fucking ending with it once for all”

“YOU WHAT? A ver cielo, déjame ver si entendí, HICISTE QUE UN MONTÓN DE ADULTOS PERSIGUIERAN A UN NIÑO Y DESPUÉS CASI LO MATAS?” (YOU WHAT? Okay, let me see if I understood, YOU MADE A BUNCH OF ADULTS CHASE DOWN A KID AND AFTER THAT YOU ALMOST KILLED THE KID?)

quiet

“Sabes lo que le pudo haber pasado a ese niño?! Que habrías hecho si lo hubieras matado eh?” (Do you know what could’ve happened to that kid?! What would you have done if you had killed him huh?)

“Y/n you don’t understand, he wouldn’t listen to me”

“No, I don’t understand, he’s just a kid Miguel, of course he’s gonna try to save his dad! it’s logic!”

“Then what was I supposed to do huh?!”

“I DONT KNOW, MAYBE NOT TRY TO KILL A KID?”

“Look, I’m sorry, I just wanted what was best for everyone, I didn’t want him to deal with the guilt of making an universe come to an end, I’m so sorry , I promise you that I will try to fix everything” he said sincerely

“You should be apologizing to the kid, not me, but don’t worry as long as you make an effort it’ll be okay, just don’t try to kill kids again, and- oh my god, I didn’t finish cooking your food, okay, ahorita regresó mi amor, y ni se te ocurra moverte” as much as you wanted to be mad, you just couldn’t resist him, you brought him food and continued to heal him until he was as best as he could be.

[tainted-liquor]

'Perfect Wifey―୨୧⋆ ˚

₊˚⊹♡ ╰➝ 'Don't start with me.' - Miles G. Morales

°˖➴ E42!Miles Morales x BlackFem!Reader ✧˖ °Ingredients: Salt and Sugar! (hurt/comfort) ˗ˏˋTWs: Swearing, petty behavior idk ⟡W/C: 820! A/N: Another request I got! Enjoys luvs 💗

"C'mon! Sabes que no lo quise decir de esa manera! I just need you to chill out f'me, princesa!" your boyfriend huffed as he crossed his arms against his chest. You were currently arguing about his inconsistency when it came to dates, promising one thing and doing the other. Just earlier today you stood outside for 4 hours, all dolled up and pretty for your boyfriend who never showed up. "Chill out? What the fuck you mean relax?! I was outside, for FOUR HOURS! IN HEELS! WAITING ON YOU!" you shouted, picking up your cream-colored bear off your bedside and hurling it at Miles's chest. "I can't fucking believe you! You could've shot me a text, a call, fuck you could've sent a PIGEON!" You yelled as small beads of tears clouded your vision. You sighed deeply, wiping your eyes and closing your eyes to refrain from making any dumb decisions.

"I will see you tomorrow. I need you to leave right now, I can't look at you" you explain in a calm and controlled voice. "Mami, lo siento-" he began, quickly shutting up as you weakly raised your hand (a silent communication of shut the fuck up). He quietly looked down at the floor, placing your stuffed bear safely on your nightstand before quietly exiting your room through the door. You sighed, slipping into your bathroom to do stress-stimulated skincare, angrily swiping at your face with your soapy hands. Every fiber in your body seemed to burn with a mix of rage and sadness, feeling those crybaby tears begin to invade your vision once more.

You slipped into your favorite pair of pajamas, feeling a sudden movement on your neck and freaking out at the unfamiliar sensation. You instantly sigh, pressing a hand to your chest and giggling when you realize it was just your necklace. Well, the necklace Miles had bought for you a while back for your birthday. You unclipped the necklace, watching as the solid gold 'M' spun on the chain before gently placing it on your bathroom sink. You sighed to yourself, contemplating when everything went downhill as you got comfortable in your pink bedsheets and drifted off to sleep.

You woke up the following morning with your mind in a daze. Your bonnet was half off, your phone was nowhere in sight, and you could feel how puffy your eyes were from crying the previous night. You sighed before quickly getting yourself together, throwing on your uniform, and preparing to start another long and tiring week of school. There was only one key detail missing from your dull grey and blue uniform, which slipped your mind as you began to make your way to school at the fucking crack of dawn. That pretty pretty pendant that you always wore around your neck.

The first few minutes in the building were normal, you scrolling mindlessly through your phone as you leaned against your locker. That was all fine and dandy until you felt that familiar presence that always let you know comfort was right next to you. You sighed, lifting your head completely from your phone to see Miles. "Princesa, escúchame por favor. I need to tell you something important," he began as he held your chin gently in between his hands, making sure you maintained eye contact. He was about to explain something 'important', before he cut himself off, staring directly at the empty space on your collarbone.

"¿Dónde es? Chiquita, dime ahora mismo. ¿Dónde está tu collar?" He asked with a suddenly firm glare. He gently raised your phone, ensuring that the semi-clear pink case you always wore still contained the Polaroid of the two of you. He didn't notice immediately, but he sighed in relief when he saw that all-too-familiar photo of the two of you last year. "Sorry, I forgot it on my bathroom sink..." you sighed as you mindlessly felt for the solid piece of gold, immediately feeling terrible when you realized it wasn't there. "Don't start with me. I don't care how petty you feel, the world gon' know you mines," he spat with narrow eyes.

You could tell he was a little irritated, but he still pulled you into a tight hug and rested his chin on the top of your head. "Look mama, I'm sorry. I promise I'll never do that again, aight? I need to talk to you about something though, leave your window open f'me" he explained as he held you impossibly closer to his body. "Yeah, okay I- WINDOW?" you frantically queried with a bewildered expression. "Fuck you mean my window? Why my window?" Miles didn't give you an answer, only laughing at your question and giving you a pat on your back. "Don't worry about it. I'll be over later, alright?" he assured as he gave you a peck on the forehead, tugging your hand as you followed him to your morning advisory.

taglist in the works I swear😭

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : TIKTOK DANCE

*Mia decides to do a viral tiktok dance with this song 👇🏼* idea from @hoodharlow 💕

“Mommy, can we do a TikTok dance.?” Mia asks you, walking into the living room.

“Oh yes.” You answer excitedly. “Which one baby?”

“This one.” She hands you the iPad, and goes to your private family account and shows you what trend she wants to do.

You don’t give the kids any screen time during the week, but on the weekends you let them use the family iPad for an hour give or take.

When Mia or Ezequiel are on tiktok it’s usually supervised, you and Jack make sure they watch appropriate content.

But you have been playing that song a lot when you and Mia run errands. Plus her godmother recently did a song with him. So when she met him backstage at Coachella she fell in love with his blinged out spider man chain.

“Okay, this seems pretty easy. Who does what?” You ask her, as you set up the iPad.

“You, then me.”

You two were practicing for a while until you got it right. Just when you were about to film the actual video, your favorite boys walk in.

“What you doing momma?” Ez asks, looking at the set up.

“We’re gonna do a video, Cheesy.” Mia answers for you.

Jack and Ezequiel sit down on the couch and look at the both of you waiting to do your thing.

“Compa que le párese esa morra, la que anda bailando sola.” Mía sings loudly with her eyes closed while the both of you dance.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT, NO NO NO.”

You and Mia freeze.

“What? What’s wrong?.” You ask him confused.

“My daughter singing and dancing to that song is a big no.” He stands up, shaking his head. “And to the song of the one guy fans are shipping you with, nope.”

“Babe-“ You chuckle at his silly jealousy.

“I said no Y/N.”

“But daddy, it’s just a song.” Mia shrugs, but is amused by her dad’s reaction.

“I said no Alize Mia Harlow.” Jack says more sternly.

“WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN??” Mia yells, pushes at his stomach and runs off crying, you could only assume to her bedroom since after a few seconds you hear a door slam.

You glare at your husband. “What is wrong with you?”

“She’s six, she doesn’t need to be dancing and singing to that. I know what it says.”

“Oh so you know fluent Spanish out of nowhere?” You take a deep breath. “Why aren’t you letting her express herself creatively? She’s having fun, we’re having fun doing a silly TikTok trend.”

Jack shrugs and sits down next to Ez who’s just glaring at his dad. “She can express herself with another song that isn’t his”

You roll your eyes, look at your son “Earmuffs mijo.” Ezequiel covers his ears.

You glare back at your husband. “Jackman, be fucking for real right now!!!! You’re getting mad at our daughter over something silly.”

You look back at Ezequiel and nod, he then uncovers his ears. “Let’s go check up on sissy, while your dad thinks hard about his actions.”

You are entering Mia’s bedroom and you see her sitting on the middle of her bed looking sad.

“You okay sissy? Dad was big mean.” Your son runs to your daughter's bed and sits next to her.

Mia only shrugs.

“Baby bug, daddy didn’t mean it.” You sit down next to her and brush her hair out of her face.

“He yelled mama, he never yells.” She says through hiccups.

You sigh, “I know baby, maybe he needs a nap time.” You hug her.

“No excuse mama, he needs to use soft and nicer words.”

Just then the door opens. “You are one hundred percent right Mia, I should use nice words.”

“You hurt my feelings daddy.”

You and Ezequiel are hugging Mia, and staring at Jack.

“I’m so sorry princess.” He’s walking towards the bed and kneels on the floor, his elbows touching the mattress.

“It was just a silly thing I was feeling and I took it out on you. Which is never acceptable.”

Mia nods. “I forgive you.”

Jack smiles sadly at her. “You can go back to doing your video.”

“I do it with yous Mia.” Ezequiel cheers and hops off the bed, Mia following behind him.

Now it’s just you and Jack in Mia’s bedroom, you’re staring at him but don’t say anything.

“I’m sorry baby.” He says after a while of being silent.

“Hmm.”

“I got jealous that every dude at Coachella was checking you out. Then I go on Instagram and see fans are saying you two make a cute couple, and it just got to me.” He sighs. “I shouldn’t have dumped that onto Mia, she did nothing wrong.”

You nod. “Whose ring is on my finger?”

“Mine.”

“Who’s last name do I have?”

“Mine.”

“And whose children did I give birth to?” You ask him.

“Mine.”

“Okay so get that through that big head of yours. I don’t care about anyone else. I love you, you’re my man, my husband, and no one is taking me away from you.” You tell him. It’s rare for Jack to get jealous, and you never had to reassure him of your relationship, so it’s catching you off guard.

“I know bubs, I just panicked and the fact that your brothers liked every comment made me even more panicked.”

You roll your eyes at that and laugh. “He’s a huge deal right now in the Latino community. My brothers are fans, of course those losers would hit like to that. But also because they want me to collab with him.”

He nods. “Should we go see if Mia and Ez got the video down?”

You nod and follow him out the door and back to the living room.

“So.” Mia says smiling, putting her hands on her waist. “Nino Urby called.”

“What did he say?”

Ez and Mia share a look. “Daddy you think mommy loves Pluma?”

“What? No.” Jack answers.

“I saw the video where he says hi to momma, he smiling like when you smile at momma.” Mia says.

“IN LOVE.” Ez yells.

“Kids no.” You’re shaking your head.

“Nina and Momma and Pluma are friends. Why are you and Nino so jelly?” Mia asks, rolling her eyes.

“I AM NOT JELLY.” Jack exclaims.

“Hmm sure you’re not.” Mia looks at you and smiles. “He’s so silly.”

••••••••••••••••••••

Liked by yourbestiename, yourbrothername, pesopluma, allabouttheharlows, and 6,346,997 others

keepingupwithynharlow 🥵😍 I NEED A SONG WITH THESE TWO NOW!!!!

View all 1,300 comments

user yesss

user Oh holy damn 🥵

user He’s cheesing extra hard!!!!

user Jack who??? Helloooo PESO PLUMA

user Can she leave her white husband for an actual Latino?

yourusername No, I’m good. Y’all can keep him though. I’ll continue to have more babies and making moves with my white boy 🥰🤞🏼

jackharlow I don’t need to be seeing y’all romanticizing my wife with another dude!

druski So can we talk about how Jack went off on poor little Mia because she was singing one of dudes song 😭😭😭😭

urbanwyatt YOOO 💀

claybornharlow Funny ass shit when Ezequiel told us.

jackharlow FUCK ALL YA

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[bitchinbarzal]

“Character A and Character B broke up, but now they meet at a Christmas party.” With roope hintz please 🤍

When Esa had invited you to his Christmas party you declined.

He insisted, claiming that Clara just wouldn’t be happy if you didn’t come.

“Esa, no I can’t-“

“You can! You absolutely can! You are saying no”

You told him you would think about it but you didn’t have time to think before Clara had text you saying she was so happy you’d decided to come.

Clara had been most heartbroken when you and Roope split up. It was hard moving to a new country, trying to learn a new language and fitting in with the other wags.

When you began dating Roope you’d taken it upon yourself to learn Finnish which you used to speak to Clara, Esa, Miro and Joel too. They all felt a little bit more relaxed around you.

She spent the following weeks glaring and throwing around Finnish swears at him.

When the day came around for the party you were late. On purpose. You didn’t want to be a focus, you wanted to slip in and be unnoticed see the Lindell’s and go.

That idea was launched out of the window when you arrived and Tyler yelled across the room “She hath arrived!”

You laughed “Segs, how much eggnog have you drank?”

His eyes went wide “Can sober me not be excited to see you?! But… just a little bit”

You shimmied out of his hug and found your way to the couch where Esa and Clara were sat. Her eyes light up when she sees you.

“You came!”

“Of course, Hauskaa joulua!” merry christmas

She beamed “oh I miss you so much, come see Astrid she’s getting so big you’re missing it all!”

Esa handed off the baby to you, the little girl had you wrapped around her finger. Not quite wanting to let go.

Parents were grateful, Clara and Esa used that as an excuse to go mingle. You happily walked around with the baby saying hello to people.

Subconsciously, you looked for him

He wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Maybe he was with a new girl? On a date? He didn’t want to come because he knew you would be there?

That thought was slowly disrupted when Astrid began crying.

You knew where her bottle was so instead of finding Clara you did it yourself.

The kitchen was empty, just you and Astrid. The room was silent bar her little sucking sounds.

You were swaying her, in an attempt to get her to sleep. Spinning around and around abruptly stopping when someone in the door cleared their throat.

“Jesus! You scared me!”

He chuckled “Nice dance moves”

“Don’t sneak up on someone holding a baby!”

“I didn’t sneak up on you, you weren’t paying attention” you rolled your eyes at that one.

It was then it settled in that you were in the same room, he was standing in front of you.

“How have you been?”

You sighed “Roope we don’t have to-“

“I just wanted to know how you’ve been, Miro said you hadn’t been going for your weekly coffee lately”

“Yeah well I don’t need to learn Finnish anymore, I mean I only did it for you”

You hadn’t meant to snap, it just came out.

“Kulta…”

You put your hand up to stop him “No, please don’t-“

“Please just let me explain myself”

“I don’t want to hear it Roo, the time is gone please just leave it”

You walked past him but he caught your elbow, your eyes rising to meet his “Kulta.. please”

His voice was broken, he was broken.

You reluctantly nodded “Okay, speak”

He let out a deep breath “I was scared, okay? And I know that’s silly but you were learning Finnish, you were doing things for the team, my family? It was a lot and I was scared! I loved you, I still love you! I was nervous I couldn’t give you what you deserve-“

“Don’t you think I was the one to make that decision?! That I had a say in our life?”

He nodded, meekly “you should have, I was wrong and I know now I made the wrong decision I regret it! I’ve waited so long for the time I see you again”

Your breath caught in your throat “Roo..”

“Please, please Kulta tell me you still love me too. That I didn’t screw it all up” his hand reached up to your cheek, thumb brushing away a tear rolling down your cheek.

“I still love you and I shouldn’t but I do. Fuck, Roope I can’t do this all again you broke my heart”

“And i will never ever make that mistake again”

Your lip quirked in a smile, he leaned down and kissed you quick.

“Minä rakastan sinua” i love You

“Say it again” you mumbled, having missed the words.

“Minä rakastan sinua”

You smiled, happy tears now rushing down your cheeks.

The happy moment was ruined when Clara announced “It’s a Christmas miracle!”

Most of the team was stood watching what had just happened, you blushed in embarrassment.

Roope shrugged while Esa took his daughter from your arms “Let me just take this little cock block back”

You laughed “I think a thank you actually goes to Astrid, this was all her”

Roope smiled, leaning over to his god-daughter “kiitos pikku pupu” thank you little bunny

The rest of the night you weren’t found far from Roope. His hands always had to be on you.

“I just got you back, I’m not letting go anytime soon”

[flannycartoon]

preguntas de parejas.../questions for couples oc- yax fanchild

What were their first impressions of each other? / ¿Cuáles fueron sus primeras impresiones el uno del otro? *

Smakky: “When I saw her I thought she was someone very loud and outgoing and I was right! But I really like that about her and I'm glad that's the way she is.” / “cuando la vi pensé que era alguien muy gritona y extrovertida ¡y tenía razón! Pero me gusta mucho eso de ella y me alegra que sea así.”

Cali: “I thought he was clumsy, but a cute kind of clumsy, and that he looked like he needed a friend. At the end of the day I thought he was nice and I wanted to be his friend.” / “Pensé que era torpe, pero un lindo tipo de torpe, y que parecía que le hacía falta un amigo. Al final del día pensé que era agradable y quería ser su amiga.”

Is it a casual relationship, or true love? Or somewhere in between? / ¿Es una relación casual o amor verdadero? ¿O en algún punto intermedio?

Cali: “I like to think it was true love, but I think in reality we just complemented each other perfectly.” / “Me gusta pensar que fue amor verdadero, pero creo que en realidad simplemente nos complementamos perfectamente.”

What was each of them’s ‘oh shit I have feelings for them’ moment? / ¿Cuál fue el momento de cada uno de ellos "Oh, mierda, tengo sentimientos por ellos"? *

Smakky: “I'm not sure one day out of nowhere I realized that I was looking at her a lot and that I felt very good by her side and I started to worry a little. But in the end I was right, I liked her.” / “No estoy seguro un día de la nada me di cuenta que la estaba mirando mucho y que me sentía muy bien a su lado y me empecé a preocupar un poco. Pero al final tenía razón, ella me gustaba.”

Cali: “At the end of our first date, when he defended me, I knew I was completely lost for him.” / “Al final de nuestra primera cita, cuando me defendió, supe que estaba completamente perdida por el.”

Did either of them fight their feelings, or was it easy to accept? / ¿Alguno de ellos luchó contra sus sentimientos o fue fácil de aceptar? *

Smakky: “A little... I was kind of scared and I didn't want everything to become awkward in case Cali didn't feel the same way... So I put it off for a long time but in the end I thought it was still better at least risk it and try it.” / “Un poco... Tenía algo de miedo y no quería que todo se volviera incómodo en caso de que Cali no sintiera lo mismo... Así que lo pospuse por mucho tiempo pero al final pensé que igual era mejor por lo menos arriesgarme e intentarlo.”

Cali: “Well, in my case it was quite easy, I always thought that Smakky was cute, but if he hadn't asked me out, I would have been fine with just being friends.” / “Bueno, en mi caso fue bastante fácil, siempre creí que Smakky era linda, pero si el no me hubiera invitado a salir, hubiera estado bien con ser solo amigos.”

When was their first ‘I love you’? What prompted it? If neither has said it yet, why? / ¿Cuándo fue su primer 'te amo'? ¿Qué lo impulsó? Si ninguno lo ha dicho todavía, ¿por qué?

Smakky: “One day out of nowhere I got up the courage to tell her and I was waiting for her to say something but... She was listening to music and she didn't hear me and she asked me 'sorry, what happened Akky?' I was very embarrassed and I couldn't sleep that night but then I told her again the following week and now she does listen to me heh.” / “Un día de la nada junte el valor para decirle y estaba esperando que dijera algo pero... Ella estaba escuchando música y no me escucho y me preguntó ‘perdón, que paso Akky?’ Me dio mucha vergüenza y no pude dormir esa noche pero luego se lo volví a decir la semana siguiente y ahora sí me escucho jeh.”

WHO’S THE BIG SPOON WHO’S THE LITTLE SPOON TELL ME NOW!!!!! / QUIÉN ES LA CUCHARA GRANDE QUIÉN ES LA CUCHARA PEQUEÑA DIME YA!!!!!

Cali: “you don't have to yell! ...uhm, it's a bit tricky, because usually my spikes are in the middle, we both like to take naps together (akky is still a bit shy about it) and I'm usually the little spoon! Akky is the warmest soft pillow in the world! But, when he's feeling anxious or overwhelmed, I'm the big spoon and I purr for him.” / “¡no tienes que gritar! ...uhm, es un poco complicado, porque normalmente mis púas están en el medio, a ambos nos gusta tomar siestas juntos (akky aun es un poco tímido con eso) y yo suelo ser la cuchara pequeña ¡Akky es la almohada calentita más suave del mundo! Pero, cuando él se siente ansioso o abrumado, soy la cuchara grande y ronroneo para el.”

What as the biggest obstacle to their relationship? / ¿Cuál es el mayor obstáculo para su relación?

Smakky: “I guess I was afraid that Cali wouldn't feel comfortable with me as a couple. I don't know, I was afraid that bad things would happen to me or that she would have some problem that we couldn't control.” / “Supongo que tenía miedo a que Cali no se sintiera cómoda conmigo como pareja. No lo sé, tenía miedo a que sucedieran cosas malas por mi suerte o que ella tuviera algún problema que no pudiéramos controlar.”

What drew them to each other the most? / ¿Qué fue lo que más los atrajo el uno del otro? *

Smakky: “Her personality and her confidence, she always has the craziest dangerous and fun ideas and she always knows how to cheer me up.” / “Su personalidad y su confianza, siempre tiene las más locas peligrosas y divertidas ideas y siempre sabe como animarme.”

Cali: “His personality, even more so when I could see what he hides inside.” / “Su personalidad, mas aun cuando pude ver lo que esconde en el interior.”

How long did they know each other before developing feelings? / ¿Cuánto tiempo se conocieron antes de desarrollar sentimientos? *

Smakky: “Since I was 11 if I remember correctly, since we was very young.” / “Desde los 11 si mal no recuerdo, desde muy niños.”

Cali: “We've known each other since we were eleven, but Akky had feelings first. I started having them when he first asked me out.” / “Nos conocemos desde los once, pero Akky tuvo sentimientos primero. Yo empecé a tenerlos cuando me invito a salir por primera vez.”

What’s each’s favorite quality about the other? / ¿Cuál es la cualidad favorita de cada uno sobre el otro? *

Smakky: “I love her creativity and energy, plus she is always super supportive and helped me a lot with my confidence.” / “Amo su creatividad y energía, además que siempre es súper solidaria y me ayudó mucho con mi confianza.”

Cali: “I have to say, his determination. It doesn't look like it, but Smakky is very persevering and doesn't let his luck defeat him easily, he can also be very brave and he's so cool when he is!” / “Tengo que decir, su determinación. No lo parece, pero Smakky es muy perseverante y no deja que su suerte lo derrote fácilmente, también puede ser muy valiente ¡y es tan genial cuando lo es!”

 

First kiss!! If they haven’t had it yet, why? / ¡¡Primer beso!! Si aún no lo han tenido, ¿por qué?

Smakky: “Cali gave me the first kiss, I couldn't because she was faster :')” / “Cali me dio el primer beso, yo no pude porque ella fue más rápida :')”

Any pet names? / ¿Algún nombre de mascota (apodo)? *

Smakky: “I'm very sorry to wear one, although sometimes I say her ‘honey’ heh.” / “Me da mucha pena usar alguno, aunque a veces le digo "cariño"  jeh.”

Cali: “Since we've been friends I call him Akky, and when we started dating I started calling him 'princess', 'my queen', 'baby', 'honey' and 'cuddle-muffin'. ” / “Desde que somos amigos le digo Akky, y cuando empezamos a salir comencé a llamarlo ‘princesa’, ‘mi reina’, ‘bebe’, ‘cielo’ y ‘cuddle-muffin’. ”

Are they an affectionate/lovey-dovey couple, or do they call each other ‘dude’? / ¿Son una pareja afectuosa/amorosa, o se llaman el uno al otro "tío"?

Smakky: “We're a bit more affectionate, sometimes I think I'm a bit corny.” / “Somos un poco más afectuosa, a veces creo que soy algo cursis.”

Have they ever hurt each other? How did they resolve it? Was it resolved? / ¿Alguna vez se han lastimado? ¿Cómo lo resolvieron? ¿Se resolvió?

Cali: “uh, do accidental injuries count? That is to say, sometimes I inadvertently poke him with my spikes, or he gets hurt with my crazy ideas, which by the way don't go well with Goof luck, we learned it the hard way. But I don't think we were emotionally hurt, and I don't want to believe that Smakky is hiding anything from me.” / “uh, ¿las heridas por accidente cuentan? Es decir, algunas veces lo pinche sin querer con mis púas, o se lastima con mis ideas locas, que por cierto no van bien con la suerte Goof, lo aprendimos a la mala. Pero no creo que nos hayamos lastimado emocionalmente, y no quiero creer que Smakky me oculte algo.”

 

What would one do if the other was hurt? / ¿Qué haría uno si el otro resultara herido? *

Smakky: “I would help her and take care of him! I don't want her to be hurt.” / “¡Le ayudaría y le cuidaría! No quiero que esté herida.”

Cali: “I would help him of course! And I would give him a little kiss to make him feel better... and buy him an ice cream.” / “¡Lo ayudaria por supuesto! Y le daria un besito para hacerlo sentir mejor... y comprarle un helado.”

What would one do if the other died? / ¿Qué haría uno si el otro muriera? *

Smakky: “Honestly that would destroy me... I don't think I could do many things again and I would be worse than before I met her.” / “Sinceramente eso me destrozaría... No creo que podría volver a hacer muchas cosas y estaría peor que como estaba antes de conocerla.”

Cali: “...I don't think I could fall in love again. I know it's a bit drastic, but I don't see myself loving anyone other than him. If he left, that would be all for me.” / “ ...Creo, que no podría enamorarme de nuevo. Sé que es un poco drástico, pero no me veo a mi misma amando a alguien más que no sea él. Si él se fuera, eso sería todo para mí.”

 

Do they see themselves getting married? If so, who would propose? / ¿Se ven casándose? Si es así, ¿quién propondría?

Smakky: “married? Uh, well yeah, that would be nice.” / “¿casados? Uh, bueno si, estaría bien.”

What is ‘their song’? you can drop a lyric also if you want. Or multiple songs, go ham on this if you feel like it I don’t judge. / ¿Cuál es 'su canción'? también puedes dejar una letra si quieres. O varias canciones, ve a esto si te apetece, no juzgo.

 

Have they ever made any sacrifices for each other? Is there any resentment? / ¿Alguna vez han hecho algún sacrificio el uno por el otro? ¿Hay algún resentimiento? *

Smakky: “I remember one time I cheated on a test to help Cali. They discovered me and took away my opportunity to take that same exam, but Cali managed to pass the exam!” / “Recuerdo que una vez hice trampa en un examen para ayudar a Cali. Me descubrieron y me quitaron a mí la oportunidad de hacer ese mismo examen ¡pero Cali logro pasar el examen!”

Cali: “There was this time, that Akky helped me in an exam by cheating, in the end they caught him and I passed, I felt bad for making him fail the exam... -whisper- akky doesn't know, but once a week I slime my spikes so I don't hurt him when he hugs me and there's no resentments!” / “Hubo esta vez, que Akky me ayudo en un examen haciendo trampa, al final lo atraparon y yo aprobé, me sentí mal por hacerlo reprobar el examen... –susurro- akky no lo sabe, pero una vez a la semana limo mis púas para no lastimarlo cuando me abraza ¡y no hay ningún resentimiento!”

 

Describe each character how the other would describe them. / Describe a cada personaje como los describiría el otro. *

 

Smakky: “She is beautiful and so talented, I love how she is always full of energy and enthusiasm, she has beautiful eyes that shine and her hair/spikes color is so cute, she is always proposing ideas and activities and so loving and helped me when most I needed someone…I really love her…Uh…I think maybe I'll just let myself go.” / “Es hermosas y tan talentosa, amo como siempre está llena de energía y entusiasmo, tiene unos ojos hermosos que brillan y su color de cabello/púas es tan lindo, siempre está proponiendo ideas y actividades y tan cariñosa y me ayudó cuando más necesitaba a alguien... Enserio la amo... Uh... Creo que tal vez me deje llevar.”

 

Cali: “Pretty, with beautiful fur, his laugh is perfect and so contagious, of good values ​​which is not easy, he is charismatic but he will deny it, adorable, everything looks SO good on her, she always makes me want to buy her clothes!, funny, his parents are amazing and he has so many relatives, family parties are amazing, kind, loving, smart... I could go on all day.” / “Linda, con pelaje bonito, su risa es perfecta y tan contagiosa, de buenos valores lo que no se consigue fácil, es carismático pero el va a negarlo, adorable, ¡todo le queda TAN bien, hace que quiera comprarle ropa siempre!, divertido, sus padres son asombrosos y tiene tantos parientes, las fiestas familiares son increíbles, amable, amoroso, inteligente... podría seguir todo el día.”

//////////////

questions taken from this post on twitter// preguntas tomadas de esta publicación en twitter

 y gracias a @angeflrs por audarme con las respuestas de cali <3 junto con unos dibujos para ustedes

[tetrisfinished]

i want to write, but i don't want to write, but i really want to write.

that's my headspace right now - not sure what level of word vomit is about to come out. consider this a fair warning.

so i guess let's start with that - yasir's gone to pakistan for a few months! so i'm flying solo as far as parenting goes these days. he left last saturday (today marks exactly one week) and will return at the end of january.

i gotta say, it's actually been really great!

i have the capacity and i'm capable of doing all the tasks i need to have done on a daily basis and it's really really FUN to "play house" for real actually. even the accomplishment or happiness of taking out the trash.

it's been peaceful and nice, minus esa's tantrums but all within reason.

the thing that has SUCKED though is watching esa search for his baba on a daily basis many times a day.

today the doorbell rang and esa said "it must be baba".

last night he came into my room and the comforter was squished up to one side and he thought it was yasir sleeping under there.

the first monday and tuesday he came home from daycare, came in the door and yelled "babaaaa"

today he made like 3 pieces of art works and came and showed every single one to me and told me "this is for dad". and i said i love it baby, and baba will love it too.

at the third one, he said "i know baba is in pakistan".

it's so weird to feel truly truly empathetic for someone. i am an empathetic person, but it is so weird to have absolutely no freaking idea what sort of pain esa must be feeling while at the same time feel the same exact soul crushing pain that he must be feeling.

it takes my breath away a little every single time.

my kid is in a pain i cannot relate to, and yet i can feel his pain in my being. i can see the momentary hope and happiness fly away from his eyes when the thing he thought was his baba is actually not his baba.

leading up to when yasir left, we had a lot of fights between us. and on the last day i guess they sort of dissipated and while he was in the plane, i asked him to forgive me for the grief i gave him. and he asked me to forgive him for the two hard months.

it's not hard. and if it is, i forgive yasir in an instant. i can handle my kid being a kid. i can handle whatever tantrum, lack of sleep, diva behaviour he will throw my way.

there is nothing to forgive in my brain for any of that stuff because i'm parenting and i want to do it. it's tough and hard and i would love a break here and there, but i'm okay and i'm handling it.

but i don't know that i'll ever be able to forgive seeing esa so sad for two months straight. i won't ever want to forgive it, and i won't likely forget it anytime soon. or ever.

and these moments will stew in my brain until they fully tenderize and i start to protect esa from his own father.

even now, i have half a mind to cut off calling yasir cold turkey so that i can shield esa from later pain and just get him used to yasir not being physically around.

because frankly even when he's physically present, what good is it when he is never mentally present. having a physically present parent be absorbed in his device 24/7 is not much better than having a physically absent parent.

but i won't do that. i will continue to receive his calls and call him when esa wants to speak with him. i'm just praying and hoping to GOD that yasir realizes what he's done. and how he's making his own child feel.

and that's all i want to say on that.

good night.

-k

[zarischarlie]

.

[getov]

JJK BOYS AS LATINOS PT.2

pairing: choso. toji. higuruma. yuta. noritoshi.

warnings: no just slight nfsw. part 1

puertorican!choso who is the oldest brother of the pink haired twins and can and WILL fight Sukuna if he's bothering yuji more than usual, giving him a head smack while he walks in the kitchen shirtless coming back from playing basketball, "Suéltalo en banda cabron, or you want me to tell mami que you're failing almost every subject, bruto." Sukuna will get offended placing his hands on his hips, shocked at the audacity of his own brother.

puertorican!choso who is obsessed with you and melts whenever you try to learn spanish or speak spanish with him or his family. Absolutely adores whenever you bite your lip, stressed cause you couldn't pronunce words in spanish.

puertorican!choso who loves to dance salsa with you at family cookouts, christmas nights, thanksgivings, any holiday that gathers the family together. He'd dance salsa with you, then blush whenever you both share eye contact before kissing.

"Te amo, mi preciosa, I promise to be with you forever."

chilean!toji who retired from the chilean military to take care of you and your children and moved countries, packing the entire house with hidden gun compartments in case anyone wants to act up in his house or hurt you and his baby. Will literally yell at the Chilean soccer team for not doing what is in his mind. "Por la chucha weon! How isn't it easy to SCORE!?"

chilean!toji who eats like a mf beast and likes to hug you from behind whenever you're cooking and kisses your neck, will call you things like "Mi corazón, that looks so good, maybe I can reward you tonight." He says as he squeezes a handful of your ass cheek making you hum. It's safe to say you ended up not being able to walk the next morning.

chilean!toji who calls Gojo flaite for being a dumbass and huffs whenever you invite him to stay for dinner, hoping you would understand him by his facial expression's that he hated gojo but you never payed attention, plus would go full Samuel L. Jackson on Gojo for no reason, he just needs someone to insult when he finds out you cooked Pastel de Choclo now that he'd be gatekeeping it from visitors. 💀

venezuelan!higuruma who loves to teach you about his country's history and traditions. Loves when you go into his office whenever you're bored and sit on his lap to read any type of book that has the venezuelan flag and soldiers on it's cover. He would explain softly and patiently everything in english until you're fully aware of what you're learning.

venezuelan!higuruma that sighs laying on the warm water in the bathtub letting out some breathless venezuelan slang, closing his eyes enjoying the water until he feels your soft and warm hands on his face, pulling him back as he lays his head on the tub. "Cariño, te extrañe mi pequeña." He said softly.

venezuelan!higuruma who would teach you how to cook arepas so you can make them for him and only him. Would go feral when you cook Pabellon Criollo or handmade Tequeños, he would be so proud of you and how are you willing to learn about his culture every day.

venezuelan!higuruma who would call the judge names in spanish and would get visibly frustrated when he gets home and would vent to you meanwhile you sit looking at him eating yogurt, "La mamarracha esa marico, got me fucked up, me tiene arrecho. There's always some bullshit with her big ass." You would laugh at him and shortly after he would too.

panamanian!yuta who absolutely loves his country and his culture, loves to see you in their traditional costume and you love it too such as the beautiful handmade ornaments on your head, that was the first time you visited Yuta's parents.

panamanian!yuta who will curse softly at anyone who looks at you in the wrong way whenever you're at the mall or in public places, will hold u close to him and will whisper bad words like "Chucha madre", "Que awebason con esto."

panamian!yuta who hates any panamanian food that is not cooked by you or his parents, will judge his tias food, he will innocently do it, he'd be scared and shy to say anything at the restaurants specially if it's visiting his country now that they all speak spanish and he'd be scared to even say hi. "Es que mami, no se, this food doesn't convince me."

panamanian!yuta who loves to kiss you under sunsets and hold you close to him, loves to remind you how much you mean to him and how you're "El amor de mi vida" for him. Will call you things like "Mami, bebé, mi reyna." And hold your hand 24/7 and hide his face in your neck while you both wait at the airport or are in a car ride. Will throw around expressions like "Chuzo loco".

brazilian!noritoshi who you never expected to be hispanic, probably because he's always quiet, until you found out AFTER you'd been dating each other for some months. That'd explain sometimes when he replied to momo in a language you couldn't understand and after months you realized it was portuguese.

brazilian!noritoshi who is extremely proud of being brazilian and is not afraid of showing it, he's just a quiet person. He will go around the school talking to everyone in portuguese and it was surprising how could everyone but Nobara could understand him.

brazilian!noritoshi who is in LOVE with Pao de Queijo and Brigadeiros. He fell in love with you the moment he realized you were trying to learn his native language and how to cook his native food. He will protect you from anyone from that moment till the end of times.

brazilian!noritoshi who would curse at Todo for bothering him "Filho da puta, leave me alone, i wil punch you in the throat." The big guy will just back up and that's it, but despite of his emotionless attitude, he's a big softie when it comes to you, this man will literally fall asleep as soon as he hugs you from the waist and his head resting on your tits, that for him it's heaven. He will call you names like "Minha menina", "Meu amor", "Pequenha".

getov — 2022.©

[girlwithwolftatoo]

Can you do Marc or Jake and you in the car driving on a road trip and your singing September by Earth Wind and Fire and there vibing to it but they don’t want to do it openly bc there to stubborn so you have poke or tickle them till they start signing and when the song stops they just go back to the way they were

(Everytime I think of that song, comes to my mind the little bird whistling it in front of the mirror)

Marc Spector:

*He doesn't listen to music. He doesn't even turn the radio on. He's driving, he's concentrated, he's... a little boring for the trips sometimes.

*Anyways, he'll let you plug your phone and listen to your tunes in a moderate level. "Maybe some music will brush away that grumpiness of yours" you joke.

*Because he's not very into music, you don't know nothing about his likes, and your ratio is so random he sometimes stares at you for moving sexy and then headbang as music switches.

*But who doesn't love EWaF? They have great songs! Marc pretends everything's right while you make a tiny dance with your hands at the rhytm of "September" while you give him glances.

*"C'mon, Marc, sing with me! Baaa-dee-yaaa, say do you remember-!" He'll struggle to keep his face straight, and ends up failing. "You're a little nuts, did you know?" he grunts with a chuckle.

*You can pretend you're holding a mic and passing it to him. He'll shake his head and mumble the lyrics. "Oh no, sing it right!" you nag him. At the end he'll do as you tell him to.

Jake Lockley:

*This man likes to listen any sort of music, and sometimes loses himself into it, but usually he keeps his facade of thug, even if you're at his side singing or dancing or shaking your head along the tunes.

*Unlike Marc, Jake will directly tell you he doesn't like to sing nor do any "ridiculous shit", so you'll need the heavy machinery to make him get in the funky mood.

*Since he's the driver, you don't want to distract him, so during red lights you do this thing that is a finger dancing on his hand or the wheel. He cannot help but look at your fingers doing this silly moves while you yell the chorus. "Drop it" he comands you, and now your fingers move to his shoulder.

*"I'm the tiny happines fairy, Jake" you say in a higher voice tone "If you don't show you're happy I will die and my remains will stain your limo with my stench" Jake gives you this half exhasperated, half amused look. "Voy a aplastar a esa pinche hadita" ("I'm going to crush that fucking little fairy").

*If you keep going, Jake will grab your hand, kiss your fingers and ask you if you want to have some "real fun tonight". He's serious, and you know what it means: dine, dance, break some criminals' jaws and make out in the back of the limo... probably listening "September" by EWaF.

[saiyan98]

Family Pride (Caleo)

Disclaimer:

Jason (Leo and Calypso’s son; not Jason Grace)Valdez: The following is a non-profit fanbase series. PJO, HoO and ToA are owned by Rick Riordan and Disney Hyperion. Please support the Official release.

A/N: Short one but a good one. Warning: Contains a bit of language and some slight spoilers to HoO and ToA. Also, another Author’s Note at the end.

Summary:

Jason Valdez, son of Leo and Calypso Valdez, has gotten into a fight in school and was called to the Principal Office. Calypso and Leo arrived at the school to understand the situation. However, Calypso is very upset at her son. Why did he get into a fight in the first place? He never gets himself involved in situations like this. What happened that led to this? What made Jason get into a fight in the first place.

Story:

At the Principal Office, a young man named Jason Valdez is sitting right in front of the office while his parents are inside talking to the principal. The reason why he’s there in the first place is because he got into a fight today and was sent there. As he reminisced on the events that led to this, his parents walked out of the Principal’s office, his mom had a very angry expression. One thing is certain for Jason. 

He’s not getting out of this situation very easily. 

As the family walked out of the school and arrived at their car, Calypso spoke, “The principal says you’re getting only a week of detention.”

Jason sighs in relief, it could've been worse.

“You’re not out of this, young man!” Calypso yelled, furious at her son’s actions. “What were you thinking?!”

Jason shrugged, “He asked for it…”

“No me des esa actitud!” Calypso said in spanish. “You’re gonna go to detention and you're going to write an apology letter to that boy. Understand?!” 

Jason scoffed, “I ain’t apologizing!” 

“Jason,” Leo spoke, “I understand what you're going through. I was like that too back then. Whatever this guy did, you need to be the bigger man and-”

“I’m not apologizing to him! I’ll take the detention but I’m not apologizing to him. If he just kept his mouth shut about…” 

“About what?” Calypso asked. 

Jason said nothing. 

“¿Mijo, qué dijo él?” Leo said.

“Nothing…”

The Valdez arrived home and Jason said nothing more for the whole ride. Calypso was furious at her son. She raised him to be a kind and gentle soul with a bit of anarchy from his father. For him to get into fights out of nowhere was very shocking. They had to temporarily close the shop and diner to come to school and talk to the principal.

Calypso is not your ordinary parent though. Heck, she’s not your ordinary human either. She was THE Calypso, the goddess that was trapped in Ogygia for more than three centuries and was forced to fall in love with every hero that landed. The last hero was Leo Valdez, and it was completely by accident. Even so, she fell in love with him and he was the only one to come back and save her. They had some rough moments in their relationship, but they were always there for each other. They got married and have a business that’s both an auto-shop and a diner. 

When their first kid, Zoe Esperanza Valdez, was born, Calypso wanted to give her kids a happy childhood and life that she was never given until Leo saved her. Thus, why she’s furious at her son. 

Jason walks up to his room in silence as Calypso talks to Leo about his behavior. 

“¡¿Qué estaba pensando?!”Calypso yelled. 

Funny story, at some point, Calypso tries to learn Spanish as a gift for Leo on their anniversary. Leo tries to convince her that she doesn’t have to, but at this point, she is too stubborn to give up. Eventually, it became her third language; the first two being English and Greek. 

“Sunshine…”

“After everything we gave that boy, he went and got himself in trouble!” 

“Sunshine, it’s fine. It’s only a week of detention, I did it before.”

“Exactly! He shouldn’t be doing what you did in the past.”

“Ouch,” Leo said jokingly, pretending like he’s wounded.

“You know what I mean,” Calypso sighed. “I just, I want what’s best for our kids, Leo. It’s bad enough that they’re demigods. But what will they do with their lives when we’re not gonna be there to save them? What if they get into danger and…”

Leo walked up to her and held her gently but firm. 

“Sunshine, it’s okay. You know how stubborn we Valdez are. If I recall, didn’t you disobey your dad during the Titan war one time?”

“I did to help him, only to end up helping the gods instead.” 

“And saved the world,” Leo added. “And look at me, I was supposed to die during the Giant war, but I was too stubborn and madly in love to accept my fate. Now look, we have a home. We have a life. A family.”

Calypso sighs comfortably. 

“We made mistakes in our lives, yeah. But that’s who we are. We’re not perfect beings.”

Calypso scoffed. “Say you.”

“Hey, you decided to join me and be free from that island; love me willingly AND marry me.”

Calypso chuckles as she punches her husband on the arm. 

“Just go talk to our son. I’m sure that he’s hiding something from me, but he’ll definitely tell you.”

“Okay, I’ll go talk to him. See what got him mad,” Leo says as he kisses her by the forehead and walks up towards Jason’s room. He knocks on his door and answers him to come in. Leo walks in and sees Jason on his laptop, listening to music and doing some homework. 

“Hey kiddo, wanna talk about it?”

Jason was quiet for a moment but spoke. 

“Not really, but I might as well. Otherwise I’ll have to either suffer from mom’s wrath or your terrible jokes.”

Leo smirked.

Jason got off of his headphones and closed his laptop. He adjusts himself so that he can be comfortable telling his story. 

“So tell me sport, what happened in school today?” Leo asked. 

Jason took a moment to ponder on the events that led today. 

“So, the guy I beat up is from my myths and folklore class. He’s one of the football players in our school. I heard him in his group talking about what we learned today in class and…”

Leo understood a bit of why he did it. When Leo and Calypso told their kids the truth about their pasts, they worried over how it’ll affect them in their daily lives. For the most part, they were able to handle it pretty well. Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that monsters will now be on alert for them, but since Esperanza is in New York with some family friends, she’ll be okay. Jason, on the other hand, is still in high school and will be going to college in New Rome, wanting to be an engineer and help out with the family business. 

“Jason, I get it. It’s hard knowing that most of those myths and legends are real and involve real people. But the world is not ready to accept what’s out in the dark. People would freak out knowing that the world is in constant danger every week.”

“But it’s not that, dad,” Jason replied. “What they said was more personal.”

“What do you mean?” Leo asked.

“…Today, we talked about the Odyssey.” 

“Oh..” Leo knows where this is going. 

The Odyssey, the Tale of Odysseus’ adventure. 

Calypso’s first love. 

Leo tries his best not to compare himself to Calypso’s previous lovers, but he couldn’t help himself. How would you feel if the girl who truly loves you back has had many and more cooler boyfriends in the past. Heck, she even fell for Percy back then too. 

And what can Leo do? Build things, burst into flames and tell the best jokes (arguably) in the world. 

But despite that, he was the only one who came back to her. Who loves her. Who made plans of a future together, even if it was a joke at first. So Leo may have won her heart in the end, but it doesn’t change the fact that there’s always better people out there. It’s life, no one is perfect.

But Leo is learning to accept himself. And accepting that Calypso loves him and him alone.

“I see,” Leo spoke. “Let me guess… Mom?” 

Jason didn’t say anything, but he nodded. 

“They… they were talking some stuff about her. I know that nobody knows that mom is the real goddess from the stories but…”

Jason took a deep breath. 

“I tried to hold back my anger, dad. I really did, but the way they talked about mom… I just…” 

Leo hugs his son, interrupting his talk. 

“I get it, mijo. I do,” Leo replied. “It hurts when someone talks crap about someone you care about. Do you have any idea how many times I got into fights back then?”

“Did you win any?” 

“That’s not important,” Leo replied quickly. “Point is, I have seen my share of struggles in the past. Especially those involving your mother.”

“But dad,” Jason spoke. “I just hate when people talk about mom like she’s some evil witch or something. I've seen it in movies, books and stuff. I saw it in people’s faces when we read about her. I just…”

Jason grips his fists tighter as he tries to calm himself. 

“I just wish people knew how much mom has been through, how much of a good person she is. Sure she’s scary when she’s angry.”

Leo snickered at the comment.

“But mom is always compassionate to others. If mom hadn’t saved Odysseus, he’d never have come home, built that device and passed it on to you to save the world. If she hadn’t saved Drake, he’d never have found America, our home. If she hadn’t saved uncle Percy, Olympus would’ve fallen.”

Leo sat there silently as he listened to his son’s rant. 

“Why couldn’t people see the fact that mom was just as much of a hero as everyone else?! That’s why I beat that guy up! He was talking shit about mom and I couldn’t let that slide! So yeah, I’ll take the detention, but there’s no way in any realm am I going to apologize to him.”

Jason took a deep breath as he finished talking. 

“I’m sorry,” Jason spoke again. “I didn’t mean to yell, I just-,”

Leo hugs his son and interrupts his conversation. 

“It’s okay, Jason. I understand. You were protecting your mom’s honor. I’d do the same too; hell, even your sister did too back when she was in high school too.”

Jason didn’t say anything and just embraced his dad’s hug.

“Your mother has been through so much,” Leo continues. “And I know that we can’t change how other people will see her in stories and such. But know this, Jason, your mother loves you and is very proud of who you are.”

After a couple of minutes of taking a breather, Jason thanks his dad for the conversation as Leo walks up and leaves his room. Standing next to the door frame was Calypso, hiding so that her son couldn’t see her. Leo notices the tears dropping on her cheeks. 

“You heard us, didn’t you?” Leo asked. 

Calypso nodded. 

Leo hugs her in comfort. 

“Don’t blame yourself for this, sunshine.”

“But it is my fault, Leo. If I didn’t do all those-,”

“Calypso,” Leo said. He never calls her by her name unless he has something important to say. “Never in our lives have your past ruined us. In fact, it made us love you more. Sure you fell for heroes who were already taken, but you also saved their lives. You helped me when you could’ve just left me alone on your island, you could’ve fallen for anyone else in the world, yet you chose me. You gave me a home, a family, a future.”

Calypso stood in silence as she listened to Leo’s words. 

“You gave our kids a happy life. Yes, he shouldn’t have got into a fight, but he did it because he loves you. We all do, honey. Because to us, you are our light, our rock, our sunshine.”

“I thought I told you not to call me that,” Calypso responded as she cried tears of joy. 

Leo laughs and then kisses his wife on the lips, telling her how much he loves and how grateful he is to have her in his arms.

The two never got a happy past, struggling with loss and trauma. But now they built a future filled with hopes and dreams. Their children were gifted with loving parents who would do anything to keep them safe and happy, as would the kids would for their parents. 

After all, aren’t the kids the pride of the family?

Author’s Note: Short one today, I hope it was good. I just want to say thank you all for reading some of my work even if most of them aren’t that good. Still, I ain’t stopping, I’m going to keep writing about this ship because other than Percabeth, it’s one of my OTPs in this franchise. However, I will be focusing more on my other work, Estelle and The Mark of Arachnid [Summary in Link]. If you don’t know what that is, it’s pretty much a Spider-man origin trilogy but Estelle is the main character, and it takes place in the Riordanverse with connections to the MCU Multiverse. The goal is at 30+ chapters and I’m already at Chapter 5. I'm getting a lot of views and I would very much like it if you get the chance to read it too. It’ll still have Caleo in it, just more to the sidelines since this is more of a hero’s story. 

This doesn’t mean that I’m ending this series here, I will be continuing on working more stories, just that I will be posting them at a later schedule. So instead of once a month, it’ll mostly likely be once every 2-3 months. So don’t worry, I will be continuing this series, just that there will be later updates. I still have some stories on my list to write for this series.

Thank you all for reading my stories, until my next update. 

[beware-of-you-98]

BAU as College Professors AU

*cracks knuckles*

Penelope

penelope is a graphic design professor

she loves teaching kids about the wonders of photoshop!!

hates illustrator and indesign with a burning passion

(the illustrator pen tool can fucking choke for all she cares)

(AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PUT THE FRONT AND COVER TOGETHER IN INDESIGN!?!?)

(she really hates both applications sm 😭)

is always reluctant to teach them but does it begrudgingly

(she’s just glad there’s other professors in the department that teach editorial and graphic illustration)

teaches photography!!

encourages the students to be as expressive as they want to be with their pictures!!!

she’ll be just as enthusiastic to see a close up of a sneaker as she is to see a sunset landscape shot

teaches the graphic design studio classes too!!

she always has music playing!!

half the time, her students come into the class and her glasses are all skewed, her hands are covered in paint or glue and some abstract art piece is sitting on her desk

when the students ask her what it is, she just gives the projects human names

“hey professor... what did you make there?” “oh, this?? her name is... pam.... yeah, pam”

she doesn’t offer up any further explination than that

and the students just accept it

her office light is always off

but she has multiple fairy lights in various colors hung up

her office is v inviting!!!

students come to her to vent or to talk about their problems bc the campus therapist doesn’t help all lmao

she always has on the most unique outfits but she pulls them off so well

a ray of sunshine tbh!!

Spencer

teaches major science and math courses

he teaches chemistry but only chem for majors in chemistry

it’s not that he can’t teach chem for non majors

but he sometimes gets too ahead of himself and forgets he’s teaching a course for non majors

it’s easier for him to teach for majors because the students can follow his ramblings better

he teaches upper level math courses and usually only has like three students in those classes

he’ll sit up on his desk and debate with the students for the entire hour about the riemann hypothesis

he gets excited because the students are just as enthusiastic as he is

he is two extremes

he either shows up to his classroom like a half hour early and writes out all his notes on the board so that when the students come in, he can go right into lecture

or he’ll show up two minutes before class starts with his hair disheveled, his tie undone and his expression glazed over and just be like “listen up i woke up late and just downed an entire pot of coffee i brewed with several cans of monster energy—i don’t exist on this dimension anymore”

on those days, he lets his students work on other projects for other classes because he knows it’s not fair to ask his students to focus if he’s not

he helps them with their homework

penelope brings him lunch sometimes to make sure he’s eating

he appreciates it a lot because between lesson plans and grading, he sometimes forgets to eat

he’s absolutely the youngest prof on campus

sometimes even his students are older than he is

but everyone addresses him correctly and respects him bc he’s really chill

his office is a disorganized mess

there’s files and papers all over his desk

and a sculpture penelope made for him (she named that one “roger”)

JJ

psychology professor

she really has a passion for teaching and learning about human psychology

(she may have started to become interested in psychology bc her sister was in the psch honors course before she died)

she comes across as a little hostile and unapproachable tbh

but she’s young

and she’s attractive

and she’s not conveniently what people think a professor looks like

she’ll respect her students if they respect her

she didn’t graduate the top of her class and work her ass off for the degree to not be respected

if there’s any inappropriate comments aimmed towards her or anyone in the class, she kicks the aggressor out immediately

she stands at the front of the room and lectures for the beginning part of the semester

once she’s built a good rapport with her students (and vise versa), she becomes more chill

she’ll sit on the edge of her desk and encourage discussion rather than following a book or a set plan

(she finds it’s more interesting that way anyway)

sometimes her students will show up ten minutes before class starts just to talk with her once they’re comfortable with her

she always answers her emails students send her (queen shit tbh 👑)

some kids in the psych major course playfully call her “mom” because she always asks them how they’re doing and about their week

(she hasn’t decided how she feels about it, but she also lets it slide)

always wears pants suits but cuffs the sleeves to the jackets

her office always smells like eucalyptus because she has a small mist diffuser plugged in

she also has a small fish tank with a beta fish inside (its the appropriate size too!!)

(she let a student name the fish—it’s name is sir bubbles of argon)

she also has a sculpture from penelope (“her name is maxine”)

her desk is very organized and clean!!

there’s a small couch in her office and her door is always open

sometimes, students will come in if they’re having a hard time and need someone to talk to

they know jj is there to listen and she always seems to understand (she doesn’t judge them either)

Emily

teaches three languages, both for majors and non majors

spanish, french and russian

(she’s also quite fluent in arabic and italian and can hold her own if she’s speaking in german or mandarin, but the students don’t need to know that)

she’s actually very intimidating lmao

students are so scared of her 😭

she’s serious af

(she smiles in class sometimes though!!)

(besides, she’s only serious inside the classroom)

(outside the classroom, she might even be as approachable as penelope)

always dressed in expensive black suits, polished heeled shoes with very dark makeup and a “don’t fuck with me” steely attitude to match

she also wears expensive watches

she always stands at the front of the class and slowly paces the entire hour

one time someone decided to fuck off in her spanish 101 class

she didn’t even yell at him, she glared

rumor has it the kid was never spotted on campus again after that

(BOY SHE SCARED HIM SO BAD HE DROPPED TF OUT)

despite that, her classes are some of the easiest to take

one because emily has a way of teaching that helps all students understand

and two because her voice is naturally very easy to listen to

students taking her french 101 are going to leave the class speaking fluent conversational french

she also doesn’t tolerate people being racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc in her class

if she catches a bigoted comment someone makes in her class, she kicks them immediately

she brings in her cat sometimes

he’s all black and his name is sergio

(he’s her esa that she brings in when she’s feeling really stressed out)

he’s clipped on a harness and sits on her shoulder or on her desk

if he meows, she accepts it as an answer

it’s the only time the students ever see professor emily prentiss as soft

well

other than the days she has the class watch foreign films because the students can tell emily has a fondness for them

her office is pretty organized like jj’s

instead of it being light and inviting, emily decorated her office on a more dark side

she has a few animal skulls, crystals and other gothic memorabilia on her desk or bookshelf

she has a small cat bed on the corner of her desk that sergio sleeps in

on the other corner is a sculpture penelope made her

(it kinda looks like a crow and emily named it kurt)

really, the only colors in her office are dark, deep purples and the small lesbian pride flag sticker on the back of her laptop

Derek

teaches history classes

but like modern history

from like 1940s to present

he refuses to follow most western history books bc they’re not accurate like at all

in his first year of teaching, the dean of his department made him use a book and he hated every second of it

how accurate could the information be if they portray king tut as a white guy???

he graduated under one of the best historians in the country

he also traveled a lot after he graduated and met a lot of people that had first hand experience with major historical events

that’s really what he bases his teachings off of—first hand experiences and encounters

every two weeks or so, he’ll invite in guest speakers to his classes to talk about what they went through (depending on his lesson plans)

that’s how he likes to teach and learn (bc he always loves to learn new things!!)

this is random, but also he is the type of professor to randomly box jump up onto a desk

he also sits in chairs backwards and has a more laid back style to teaching

his exams are based on what the students can learn from history rather than the information itself

he’s always dressed super casual!!

solid color, short sleeve button ups are a favorite!! (no tie)

he gets along with all the students

he’ll talk to the athletes about their games but sound just as enthusiastic and genuine talking with students who are majors in fine arts about their projects

he’s just a v down to earth professor tbh!!

he brings in clooney so much

like... every friday

it’s just another bonus of taking his history classes!!

he and penelope are dating

his office is full of sculptures she makes for him 🥺

he drops by her graphic design studio class with clooney to help out or even to just watch

he’s supportive and encouraging of penelope and her art!!

other than the sculptures penelope makes him, his office is a bit more disorganized than jj’s or emily’s, but cleaner than spencer’s

he has a few papers scattered on his desk but mostly he’s a little more put together

his office door has a small basketball hoop attached that he plays around with if he’s bored (and if penelope is busy)

both he and penelope have a dog bed in their office and water bowls for clooney when he comes in

Hotch

law professor

is the most intimidating professor on campus

like

seriously

if students think professor prentiss is intimidating, they haven’t met professor hotchner

he stands in the front of the room and goes over his lecture without pausing or asking questions

his voice is naturally low and intimidating and he actually never smiles

his attire and appearance is always so professional

suits

ties that are tied so tight, they look like they’re choking him

shoes so polished, he can see his reflection in them

hair always styled neatly

pants and jacket are always wrinkle free

his classes are difficult

not just because of the subject matter, but because he has a very organized, straight forward method to his teaching

students wouldn’t dare act up in his class—they’d be absolute idiots to

he’s quiet and reserved outside the classroom

if the others hear anyone talking shit about hotch behind his back, they’re always quick to come to his defense

they actually know hotch

they know he puts on a hardass exterior, but really he’s just a softie

he always lets them hang in his office with him

he listens to spencer’s ramblings and is extremely patient with him

he has lunch with emily every other day

even if she’s a pain in his ass 99% of the time, he likes that she sticks around and that he can trust her

he shows up to all of penelope’s art shows

and sometimes sits in on derek’s lectures when he has guest speakers

jj brings him pastries from the coffee shop on campus sometimes

he knows that he can come to her if he ever has anything he needs to talk about

(he never opens up to her but he really appreciates the sentiment nonetheless)

penelope has definitely made hotch a few sculptures

(he keeps them at home, but he does have one of her paintings hanging in his office)

speaking of his office it’s hands down the most organized out of all of them

his desk is so clean besides the picture of his son he proudly displays at the corner

he always has his lights off and his door shut

he seems so unapproachable, especially in class

but sometimes his lecture notes have crayon scribbles all over the page

or a small sock will fall out of his briefcase

and maybe, even for a moment, his serious demeanor falls when he spots them

and it almost reassures the students that he is human

Rossi

actually he’s the only one besides maybe reid i can see being a criminology professor

is a retired fbi agent

and successful author

so like that hasn’t changed from canon

but because he doesn’t work for the fbi anymore, he has absolutely no chill and tells all secrets

he’ll be like

talking to his class about a case he worked on in ‘83

and be halfway talking about details of cases that were supposed to be confidential

he’ll pause and go “oops” but keep talking lmaooo

penelope actually never made him a sculpture

instead she made him a coffee mug she made on the wheel and glazed herself!! (she even made her own glaze bc she’s extra like that)

carved on the side is “world’s best italian dad”

(this is because when emily introduced rossi to the group she was like “yeah he’s kinda like my dad” and now everyone calls him “dad”)

(he loves it so much though and proudly accepts his title)

he loves his mug so much and uses it every single day!!!

he’s the only professor besides penelope that let his students refer to him without the title of “professor”

he gives off kind old grandpa vibes

and that he’s only teaching because he really doesn’t have anything better to do during his retirement

but he’s chill and his class is interesting to take

(plus he really does love to teach)

he’ll ramble on and on about his “golden years” as an agent

he will especially talk a student’s ear off if they come up to him and tell him that they read one [or all] of his books

he writes a different quote on his board every single day

his attire is always business casual

he sits on the edge of the desk or on a swivel chair because it’s comfy

he was doing a lecture on jack the ripper and just pushed himself around on the swivel chair, slowly spinning around the front of the room

his voice kept changing in volume every few words because of him facing the wall and then a few moments later facing the classroom

his students refer to him as a “living breathing meme”

he has no idea what the fuck that means

but he take it as a compliment

his office is empty because he goes home after he’s done with classes lmao

he doesn’t do paperwork

or fuck with technology (he never fucking responds to emails smh)

so he has no need for an office

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

Delete the Twitter app, Mr. Barba

In which Rafael Barba deletes the Twitter app because of the Householder case, and Carmen babysits him. 

Accidental Feminist Icon

The last thing on Rafael Barba’s mind when he was in the hospital room with Maggie Householder was his online reputation. Once he’d turned himself in and been released on his own recognizance, however, he opened his phone to call mami and instead saw hundreds of Twitter notifications, emails from people whose names he didn’t recognize, and missed calls and voicemails from unfamiliar numbers. He didn’t touch Twitter, texting Carmen to ask how bad it was and she advised him to delete the application until at least after the trial. When he went home, mami was there and just as disappointed as he expected. There were tears the minute she saw him, but not any offered comfort. 

“You murdered a child, mijo.”

“You don’t understand, mami. No lo viste. El no estaba realmente vivo.”

“Esa fue la decisión de Dios. No es tu decisión. Tu abuela estaría tan decepcionada de ti.”

“No estoy de acuerdo. Si estás aquí para regañarme, vete a casa.”

“Te llevo a la confesión.”

“Vete a casa, mami. Me confesaré cuando esté lista.”

“Rafa-”

“Go home.”

Lucia stormed out, and Rafael went inside his apartment and went straight for the scotch he kept aside. It wasn’t his good scotch. It was the cheap one that burned his throat and left him sicker than he ever was the next day. Before twisting off the cap, he heeded Carmen’s advice, deleting the Twitter app as he dropped to the couch and began to drink. It was only eleven, not even noon, but he didn’t want to remember what had transpired the day before. He should wade through his email, but someone had posted it. He knew because it was referenced time and time again that they’d found his personal email via some Twitter thread or Subreddit or something else he hadn’t yet encountered. He’d had to mute his phone as phone calls rolled in; the only one he answered confirmed it was strangers from the Internet who had seen the news. Carmen called it getting cancelled when it happened to other people. That usually didn’t involve the loss of a life, so the term seemed not quite right for what was happening, especially given the fact this included more than just the people he was used to. People who had never encountered him were hearing about him in the news. 

He ignored Olivia’s calls, considering the morning’s interactions enough. As he drank, Rafael was able to filter unknown numbers and messages, tossing the phone aside and quickly finishing the bottle. Olivia came by, and he didn’t answer, choosing to lay back on the couch as the room spun around him. Carmen texted him, and he didn’t look. An hour later, he heard her outside of his door with Olivia and unlocking he apartment for her. He’d given her a key long ago so she could get files or suits or drop off leftovers. Both of them came in, and it suddenly dawned on him that he had his suspenders down and shirt open over his undershirt. He’d spilled the most recent tumbler over himself with the pizza he’d ordered. And now, they could see him like this, eyes rimmed red and mood unstable as he thought more than he could about himself. 

“Mr. Barba,” Carmen said softly, kneeling by him. Olivia stayed closer to the door, surveying the room. By the nature of their constant proximity, Carmen had seen the tail end or starts of Rafael getting frustrated, though he always pressed it down with a glass of scotch and good meal. That said, she’d found him too drunk after a trial didn’t go his way. Seen him frustrated as he went through a case he may not be able to do anything about it. Caught him yelling at paperwork as though something would happen. She’d also seen him the next mornings when he came in pretending not to be insanely hungover and was wearing the suit from his office.

“I’m fine.”

“No you aren’t. Is this what happens between an eight o’clock bourbon and the office suit?”

“Shut up, Carmen.”

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m helping you.”

“Sorry,” he said with a huff as his hand ran down his face, and Olivia had to stifle a laugh at how properly embarrassed he looked. “My email and phone are bad. How bad is Twitter?”

“Medium. A lot of people understand. Or they feel that they can’t understand, so they’ll watch the story.”

“People understand murder?” he scoffed.

“No. No one does. But we all understand how impossible your choice was. How badly the parents were hurting.”

“I was too selfish to do it for my dad.”

“I know, Mr. Barba. But people want to know how long until they hear more. Want people to wait. Can see why you did it. It’ll blow over. We can change your number and your email. Twitter has a really handy button. Block.”

“My name’s Rafael.”

“You’re my boss.”

“Not for long,” he chuckled bitterly before his gaze softened. “All I wanted was for people not to hurt.”

“You need to go to bed, Rafa.” It was Olivia now, and his eyes suddenly snapped open. It was different when it was Olivia. They were friends, but they kept things to work. Other than the occasional group event, they’d grab dinner after work. She didn’t hear him debate pocket squares or see him drunk alone in his office or help him think of replies on Twitter. He’d probably lose his friendship with Carmen once he wasn’t in the office, he supposed. She humored her boss a lot more than she probably should.

“I’m fine, Liv.” It came with more of a snort than he liked, and he was suddenly pulling himself up to sit, wrapping his shirt around himself as though it were a cardigan. Carmen watched he was steady, and Olivia was sure she now knew what she’d looked like when Noah was learning to walk on his own with her hand on his back to keep him upright. Once things passed, she wanted to ask if Rafael was always this willing to be relaxed around Carmen, but she wasn’t sure she really wanted to know.

“I don’t think I’m helping things,” Olivia said softly, and Carmen gave a gentle nod.

“My son’s with my mom for a visit. I’ll take care of him.”

“You’re sure? I can call Lucia.”

“I’m fine, lieutenant. And mami has already been here.”

“Make sure he meets with an attorney tomorrow.”

“I make his calendar. I know.”

“You two can stop talking about me like I’m not here,” he grumbled, heels pressed against his eyes. “I’m drunk, not deaf.”

“You’re belligerent, counsellor.”

“Call me Rafael,” he said again, flopping onto the couch when Olivia had left again.

“I thought Lieutenant Benson was your best friend, Rafael.”

“She is, I guess. Is that sad? My best friend used to be Alex, but I pursued that case. As if mami needed more reason to hate me.” 

“You don’t act like you in front of her. Not all the way.”

“This isn’t me.”

“It’s you without a carefully constructed persona.”

“If that’s the case, I suppose you’re my best friend, Miss Frye.” She’d expected to see a bemused smirk or annoyed scowl, but Carmen was taken aback by how sincere he looked as his hand moved to rest on her forearm and squeeze as well as he could.

“My name’s Carmen,” she teased. “Now come on. You need to go to bed.”

“My suit will get wrinkled.”

“I’ll hang it for you.”

“You can sleep in the guest room. It’s not safe for you to go-” His eyes were suddenly wide. “Carmen, where’s Ollie?”

“With my mom. I told her you needed me for a couple days.”

“You don’t need to disrupt your life.”

“I’ll tell you a secret Mist- Rafael.”

“What?” he asked, flopping into bed where she’d pulled the blanket down once he managed to strip to his boxers.

“You’re my best friend too.” She tugged the blanket over him, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. He smiled up at her, and she made her way out turning off the lights. It seemed silly to say it to someone like him, but they’d worked together a long time, had a lot of late night talks. She liked him more than a lot of people she knew, and saw him more than anyone outside of her family. 

Carefully, she cleaned his living room, dumping his other bottle of cheap scotch out and disposing of both before setting up the coffee to brew at seven, just in time to have him at an attorney’s office by nine. McCoy had approved her to work from wherever she needed to in order to keep Rafael functioning. She’d have been miserable helping Peter Stone with this trial anyway. They both knew about his father, and it seemed he may be a ticking time bomb. She logged into his twitter, going on a blocking spree as she explored his mentions, tweeting from her own account and his that she’d done it and retweeting it from his account. 

She also liked all the kind ones. The ones asking for understanding or expressing empathy. The ones that acknowledged he had an impossible choice and neither one would have sat well with their own conscious. Leave a child and his family to suffer without end or expedite the inevitable. Then there were his direct messages. Since getting verified, he had the ability to only see messages from people he followed. As she combed through, there were a couple of hateful messages she ignored, but most who knew him expressed understanding and a couple even included leads if he wanted out of the city. She marked those down in her notes app before falling asleep in the guest bedroom. 

The sound that greeted her in the morning was Rafael Barba vomiting as the coffee machine roared to life in the background. Silently, she ordered ginger tea and vitamin b12 for delivery, going to fetch the pedialyte she’d brought from home. When he came out, hair wet from a shower, she’d already brewed him tea, cooked breakfast, and given him an expectant look as she slid a glass of unnaturally purple electrolytes to him. He didn’t know what to say, so he took the proffered glas and took a long sip before wincing.

“Grape,” she said plainly.

“Grapes don’t taste like that.”

“Ollie likes it okay. I make him popsicles though.”

“He’s old enough for popsicles? Isn’t he still on milk?”

“Rafael, he’s two. He drinks milk, but he even eats.”

“Does he like books yet?”

“He does. He really likes being read to.”

“I’ll read to him next time I see him.” He was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was thick. “Do you play him music?”

“Some. Usually my playlists.”

“Play him Bach.”

“You’ll have to tell me what’s best to play him.”

“I’ll send you a playlist.” 

“Why Bach?” She watched as his jaw shifted from side to side, lips pressed together, and that told her all she needed to know. “Drew liked Bach?”

“He’d never know if he liked Bach. Maggie was playing one of his cantatas.”

“Maybe we can take him to an orchestra one day.”

“There are some shows. Kid friendly.”

“He’d like that.”

“I’ll send it to you.”

“You’ll come, won’t you?”

“Me?”

“It’s your idea.”

“You’d still let me around your son?”

“My son is a healthy vibrant boy. If he was in the same situation as Drew, it would be hard, but I’d still want you there. You did exactly what I would have done for him, okay?”

“Did you mean what you said last night?”

“Which part?”

“The last part.”

“You probably are my best friend. And that hasn’t changed. I wish you didn’t have to be put in the situation, but I would hope I’d have been strong enough to do the same. And other people agree with me.”

“God, you’re not actually looking at Twitter.”

“I looked at Twitter. I blocked anyone vitriolic. But, I collected all the kind ones in your favorites for when you’re ready. A lot of your attorney friends have job leads for you if you leave the DA’s office.”

“I’m leaving. And I’m probably going to fucking prison. You’ll be down a friend in a few months.”

“Stop it.”

“They’ll end me in there, Carmen. I sent some of them there.” She wasn’t sure what to make at how at peace with the prospect he was.

“And you won’t go to prison. Don’t focus on that. Even if you do, they’ll have to do something to protect you. And I’ll come visit you.”

“You barely know me.”

“We spend more time together than I do with anyone else. I know you’re good, you have a good heart, you send birthday presents to every SVU detective’s kid and think I don’t know you send them coffee gift cards on their birthdays. You’re a total mama’s boy and despite what a snarky prick you are, you have imposter syndrome out the ass. You’re lapsed enough Catholic not to go to church, but you pray when things are really bad. I also know some part of your brain feels like you’ve let down people who think you do good work by this one thing, but one bad doesn’t outweigh an exorbitant amount of good. I hope Ollie has half of the ethical backbone you do. I know there have been occasions in the past you weren’t perfect, but the man I’ve known deserves every ounce of credit he gets. That doesn’t mean you’ve never made a mistake.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he muttered, and much to his chagrin, Carmen wrapped him in a hug that he returned, refusing to look at her. He was suddenly aware he’d cry if he looked at what he knew was a genuine smile. “I’ve got to get dressed to see an attorney.”

“Who are you going with?”

“Randy Dworkin.”

“He’ll be good.”

“I hate to admit that. And I’m sure I’ll hate every second with him.”

“How about you teach me about Bach this afternoon?”

“You have work.”

“McCoy approved me to be remote.”

“So you’re my sitter?” She could almost swear a smile pulled at the corner of his lip, and she felt pride she didn’t expect.

“I suppose. So Bach?”

“Bring Ollie?”

“Deal.”

[broken-balance-baby]

forgotten idols and their intertwined destinies (chapter 3)

Chapters: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26

PRIY PITA

The girl was small. As they pushed her body to her knees, Diego wrapped his hands in cloth and turned to the soldiers still in the area. They stood on a hill outdoors of an abandoned compound— one of Pagan’s underlings, if he recalled correctly. One of them had a slope down to the lake below, 

“ Ahora ve por esa cuerda y átala .” He ordered, and the soldiers grabbed the rope and locked her arms back. He realized her head lolled backwards, and as soon as one soldier drew near her face he had lurched back from a headbutt. 

She tried to fight, kicking and spitting at the soldiers around her, but as one brought out a baton Diego ceased the commotion. 

“ ¡ Detente!” he said. “Leave this to me.” 

The girl’s head hung loose in her seat when they left. He approached her, taking her by the chin and tilting her head up. 

“Who are you?” Diego asked. 

“That’s my question.” She hissed. In the light of the day, he noticed how her eyes were colored brightly. They shone almost like gold, but upon closer inspection it seemed to have become green. 

He tightened his hold on her head. 

“You will answer me. You will tell me who you are working with. You will tell me,” Diego said, running his hand down her hair before pulling it up, making her wince as he spoke. “What. I. Need.” 

“Or what?” she replied in a harsh whisper. The grip on her head tightened and she was met with a punch to the face. 

The laughter of another woman came from afar, soon closing into his ears. Diego ignored it. 

“She’s fun— I like her.” Dani remarked, hovering over her and making eye contact with Diego. His eyes darted between them while the girl was still recovering from the punch. 

“ Bhenchod. ” she muttered. Sisterfucker, if Diego was right. 

“I said tell me who you are!” Diego raised his voice. 

“ C á lmate , Diego, we’ll be here all day!” Dani’s voice echoed through the valley— almost so real that Diego swallowed, looking away. Those bloodshot eyes still followed anyway, but he heard  the woman  say something. He tilted her head backwards, and Dani left him.

“What did you say?”

The woman mumbled louder.

“Speak up.”

He heard the wheels of a car pull up. Out came King Ajay Ghale— Pagan’s successor, as he’d apparently learned the moment he stepped out of the helicopter. The man’s stepson proved to be not much of a conversationalist, but he seemed adamant in being involved in affairs regarding the reclamations. Unlike Pagan, as he recalled, he was more than just invested. 

“No—” she snarled, ready for another punch to the face. 

As Diego was about to swing, though, Ajay caught him by the wrist and pulled him away from her. 

“NO!” Ajay yelled.  

“QU É CARAJO ACES?!” Diego ripped his hand away from Ajay’s grasp. Ajay stepped closer to him. 

“You’re not going to hurt her.” He said, glancing back at the woman. Her cheek was bleeding, so he took out his handkerchief to wipe out the blood. Diego’s eyes widened, brows furrowing in befuddlement as he watched Ajay tip her chin up to check for bruises. The girl attempted to bite his fingers. 

“Who is this woman to you?” Diego asked. 

“She…” Ajay trailed off, sighing and rubbing his temples. “I promised someone I wouldn’t hurt her. You can take anybody , just not her.” 

Diego stepped closer to him. He tilted his head, confused. “We need to get our information from somewhere, and you are letting her go because of a promise? What the fuck am I here for?” 

The girl seemed to scowl at Ajay’s presence. “I’m not telling you anything—”

“ Silencio .” Diego scowled back, pressing his foot onto her chest. 

“Let’s just keep her prisoner—”

“Ajay.” Diego whipped his head back to the king. The king held his breath, watching anxiously as the force of his foot started to push her to the edge of the cliff.  “If she is that special to you..” He began, before pulling his leg back and kicking her off the cliff. 

‘We’ll see how special she really is.” 

“FUCK YOU!” she screamed. 

“NO!” Ajay yelped, stumbling to his knees as the woman dropped into the river. He looked back and stood up.

 “What the hell, Diego?! You were brought here to HELP!”

“I am helping! I am cleaning off the stains of your country, and now you do not want it?!”

“No, I—” Ajay held himself back, “I want it with everything else but her .”

“Whoever this is—”

“Her name is Bhadra.” Ajay glared back at him, forehead creasing in wrinkles. “You have to remember that.”

Dani came back, only this time with Isabel in tow, staring down at the water before she turned her head back to Diego. 

“... If she made it to the water, she’ll live.” Diego said. 

Isabel smiled at him. Diego blinked, and both the women disappeared. As they came back to their cars, Diego found a radio sitting in the trunk where they confiscated that girl’s things. 

“Sakshi— anybody there? Meet us in Moksha!” 

“Leave that first.” Ajay suddenly said, arms crossed. “Meet me back at the palace.” 

Diego huffed. “Fine.”

Bhadra.

She looked familiar. 

[maree-ff]

Interlude: Remission

CAMILA

Excited, joyful, in lust, anxious, nervous, and overwhelmed. These are all of the emotions I was hit with at three o’clock this morning when I woke up to begin my day. Today officially marks five weeks, seventy-two hours and sixteen minutes since I ruined our relationship. Today also marks the same amount of time that Jorden has completely flipped his switch. His behavior is nothing like Andre or I have ever dealt with. I know I’m to blame for calling off our engagement but it’s almost as if Jorden feels like I took his father away. That was never my intention by any means. I only wanted for Andre and I to take some time out to explore every crevice of our relationship. The energy in our union has been off and I want to know what the root of the issue is.

Papi’s been coming by everyday to bring the kids home from school. He’s even stayed to tuck them in, help me clean up from the aftermath of dinner and then he leaves. He’s been distant, rightfully so, but I miss him! I’ve been yearning for attention and I haven’t craved male companionship in ages! Tonight, I’m going to try and do things differently. I’ve been spying on him to get his schedule for today so I can scheme and coordinate in peace. Andre didn’t pick up the kids today because I asked for his mother to do it herself. The girls are helping me choose what to wear for my weekend away while their baby brother is napping.

Sliding my boots on I tiptoed around the mess I created, rushing to get their opinion. I spun around, danced a little, showing off another outfit I pieced together.

“Okay, nenas...what about this?” I’m frantic. I am supposed to be meeting Dre at a resort in Palm Springs. He has an assignment there for the weekend so I figured this is the perfect time for us to fix what’s broken.

“Shoes..perfect. Outfit..even better.” Zoe smiles assuringly.

Kenja tilted her head left and right before responding to my question. “Perfecto..”

“Perfecto? La verdad o es esa actitud que estoy escuchando?” I sassed her.

“Si..la verdad. Mom, mira la hora por favor.” She pointed out. Glancing at my watch I cursed under my breath, rushing to get out of here. I tossed what I need for the weekend in my bag, smothering my girls in affection. I looped my bag over my shoulder and quietly raced up the steps to check on my youngest baby.

Cautiously I entered his bedroom, blushing at the mere sight of him. “Mommy’s going to fix this nino. I promise. For you and tu hermanas.” Shuffling to his bed I pulled his blanket up over his stomach to keep him warm. “Mommy loves you baby. I’ll see you when I get back and I’ll make sure to kiss Papi for you, if he’ll let me.” I kissed his forehead and backed away before he had the chance to wake up.

I left his room, spoke to Divya briefly and headed straight for Palm Springs.

————  ———— 

Pushing the bottle further down into the ice bucket I turned around to check out the room. I managed to get an extra key to his hotel suite since he’s still out. I got a phone call from Meah saying that he should be arriving shortly.

“Mommy,” I exhaled. Clutching the Bible to my chest I looked out at the sun setting over the horizon. “Necesito su orientación.” My spirit feels alive again. I can feel her. “I need you to walk me through this. I ruined my relationship and I need to get it back. Please watch over me and don’t let me screw this up.” Marking my body in favor of the cross I set the Bible down and put some final touches on his room.

About fifteen minutes later I heard a key unlatch the lock to the room.

“Alright, look I’ll tell you what. Let me look over the proposal, run the account and find the bug.” The door shut and the automatic lock clicking made me jump out of my skin. These goddamn nerves! Quickly I downed one of the shots I poured, needing to calm myself before he saw me. I stood tall by the window, looking out at the montañas and hills. “No man, I will personally take care of the firewall and the hiccup in your account. Why don’t you sen-”

Our eyes met the second his speech paused. With the phone to his ear, he silently set his bag down, looking me up and down. “I will have my assistant contact you so you can get me that file personally. Once I get to the bottom of this I will call you..” he motioned to the glass signaling for me to pour him a drink.

I did as he asked, going ahead to fill two glasses.

“Of course. I’ll get back to you in a few days.” His phone touched the desk as did his jacket. “I’m surprised.” He simply stated.

Closing our distance I handed him the glass, holding my own with two hands. “I know.” I agreed. “Necesitamos hablar.” I sipped on my champagne, reading his energy from the body language he’s showing.

“About?” He too sipped from his glass, going to remove his tie.

“Let me..” I offered. I set my glass down to complete the task I offered to take off his hands. A mass of nothing but fears from my subconscious lodged my airways, making it difficult to look at him. “Habla sobre nosotros, nuestra familia y el futuro de nuestra relación.” The slow movement and slithering sound of his tie falling across his shoulder made my heart skip a beat.

“So let’s talk then. Where should we start? You breaking up our family or completely blind siding me at dinner that night?” I knew this surprise visit from me would be a battle but I wasn’t expecting fire this quickly.

I draped his tie over the back of the chair, not wanting the fabric to catch wrinkles. “Don’t do that. I don’t want to fight with you tonight. For you and for us but not with you.” I created space between us, giving him room to breathe again.

“Why not? There’s enough issues to go around that we can argue about right? Isn’t that what you were saying five weeks ago when you tore our family apart?” He’s agitating me and he knows it. He’s pressing my buttons on purpose but I sympathize with his anger and hurt.

“Everything. Papi, we can fix this. I want to fix this. I broke us apart and for good reason but I want to make it right. I never wanted to hurt you or our family.” The sun has vanished leaving the sky lit up in the most beautiful orange and yellow blend.

“Mm..that’s the memo I got and if I’m correct you did hurt me. You hurt our bond, our love and our kids.” He calmly explained his point, fully raising my nerves.

Snapping my head in his direction I warned him not to steer us down a path we may not recuperate from. He clapped back at me as if I’m not in this fight with him.

“Ay, basta ahora! No me hables así! I hurt myself too, okay? You’re not the only one who got hurt that night alright? Stop trying to make me feel like crap and help me fix the problem!” Waving my hand for him to cut the nonsense out, I paced the floor waiting for him to react.

“What problem, Camila? Tell me what are these problems you speak of? I never saw any facet of our relationship that was broken and needed to be fixed. Were you imagining things that aren't real? What is it?”

“Our chemistry must have been off, Dre. It didn’t feel like old times. Y me estás llaman loco? That’s not fair of you to say! I meant what I said and how I feel is valid. You cannot deny the way I feel! Those are my feelings and I am entitled to them!” I yelled.

He approached me silently, picking up the shot from the tray. He threw it back, poured another two rounds, encouraging me to take second. “Our chemistry? What about our chemistry? Break it down for me. We have all weekend right? That’s why your bag is partially unpacked and you got a second key to the room? Well let’s get to the bottom of this shall we?”

He doesn’t know this but that was my fifth shot since I checked in. The scent of his cologne sent my desire for lust, love, affection, attention, you name it..into overdrive. I rolled my eyes swiftly as he walked past me into the living room of the suite. I followed him thinking of how to recite my feelings.

“Well..I feel like you’re still holding back. You never opened up about what happened to you while you were away. You’ve changed, baby. I recognized the signs when you came home. I didn’t pester you about my concerns because I had enough to deal with already. But you have changed and I just want you to feel comfortable enough to be open with me about what you went through.” Removing my earrings I placed them on the coffee table. Andre was mute. He drew an invisible figure eight with the champagne flute in his hand. “Coming here was intentional my love but stressing you out wasn’t.” I reminded him. I inched over to the large windows, taking in the views with him.

Throwing back the remaining champagne, Andre set the glass down by his feet. “Yeah I changed. I’m ashamed of a lot of events that have taken place over the course of my life. You know that. Being away is at the very top of that list. You know that too. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to share at all with anyone but God himself. I can’t.” He disagreed.

Cupping the nape of his neck I fingered the smooth hair, getting excited. He hasn’t touched me in weeks and I’m still breastfeeding so my hormones are driving me batshit crazy. I have been forced to stick out this drought between us, calculating how long until I get him back. Allow me to be frank and say that I have ventured down the road of self pleasure but it takes too long. I’m capable of satisfying myself on a small scale but I need him for that soul snatching, big time release.

“I’m not shaming you, papi. I would never do that. Though I strongly urge you to reconsider. God is an excellent choice mi amor pero I-” his hand claimed my throat as he backed me into the glass. The liquor in my bloodstream and on his breath made me want more. “Por favor..” I am prepared to beg, plead or use any other extreme measures I have up my sleeve if this will bring us closer. I cupped his cheek, yet again finding our son in him. Their eyes hold a familiar sense of depth and comfort. “I want to fix this, really. Again I’m sorry love, you must believe me.”

The teaser of his increase in pressure to my neck turned me on. I’m sure that was his intention and I have no objections. He’s never harmed me which is good because I love when he uses force. A little pain feels ten times better when sex and intimacy are around the corner.

“I know.” He huffed. I’m already wet with anticipation. He only added fuel to my fire. He overpowered me, giving off anger and animosity. I’ll take what I can for the time being, wanting what I’ve been deprived of. I can’t decide if I want this first time back into our fold to go by quickly because I’m so hungry or if I want to take my time.

“I want both.” I thought aloud.

Andre ripped through my clothes without any regard for common sense to treat my belongings with respect. “Of?” He uttered quietly.

We disrobed one another not caring that anyone could possibly walk by the room. We’re completely exposed and normally I’d be willing to keep watch for bystanders but tonight I don’t care much. Let them have a show to enjoy.

Tossing the belt he had on somewhere off to the side I rid him of his trousers, dominating the scene. “I want this to last but I’m desperate after five weeks.” I whined. I did not allow him to choose what pace he would rather stick with. “Give me what I want. Answers and attention.” Moving in for the kill I felt the ground lighten up from underneath my feet. I wrapped my legs around his midsection and locked my ankles to keep myself steady. He stumbled still teasing the clasp of my bra.

My body was freed from the confines of my brassiere, leaving me open for the taking. Andre granted my wish. He fucked the soul out of me up against the glass but tenderly and lovingly. We traded off with the power of getting the beauty of both worlds. What feels like angry, make-up sex carried on out to the hot tub that’s acquainted with the room. I gasped for new air, gripping his hip and palming his lower back to force him into me.

I needed a resting place for my head so I sought out the rim of the tub. My brief moment of desiring to speak ceased to exist as he touched two of my favorite spots. My outcry made me tearful and oh so sad. Sex only places a bandaid over our issues but a lovely bandaid it is. We carried on in the hot water and later transported our affairs back inside the room.

The time has come for us to use our words again. Tying my robe closed I lifted my hair up and out. With a heavy heart I studied Andre from several feet away.

“When did you begin to feel the shift?” He asked me, barely looking over his shoulder.

Clearing my throat I swiped my glass from the desk, taking a sip. “Sometime after Jo’s fifth or so doctor appointment. I think..”

Dre’s insincere snicker ruffled my feathers. He took a long drag of the blunt he’s been working for half an hour. Putting it out he sucked in a fresh wave of oxygen only to take his time blowing it back out. “So Ali is the root of your issues with me?”

“Let’s be adults about this. You know damn well that’s not what I’m getting at nor is that what I’m saying. Maybe it was the stress of waiting for all of the test results to come back..” my sentence ran off as did my feet. I walked myself across the room to look out onto the night sky. Finishing off my champagne I built up the courage to explain a selfish mistake I made so long ago. “I still feel guilty for my comment. I didn’t mean it then and I didn’t mean it now. The waiting and re-testing was backing me into such a dark place that I traded in hope for fear. That is no excuse and I have to live with my idiocy at that moment for the rest of my life.” Turning on my heels I zeroed out the space between us. I placed my hands upon his shoulders, molding to his shape wanting to ease the tension in his upper body. “But you were there. You didn’t give up on our son even while I had doubts and bombarded you with my sadness over the matter.”

Inching closer I captured his lips, entangling us to each other for round three. Speaking about our kids brings me back to consciousness. All of the wild sex that we’ve had since Jorden was born has surprisingly not created another child. This troubling and confusing separation has not hindered an inkling of romance. All that’s different is the lack of title.

“We’re supposed..to be talking..” he hummed. I fondled my way into his lap, going head first.

“Not right now we aren’t.” I denied. I’m in the mindset for a specialty cocktail I can’t put a price on. My skin began to heat up from under the robe. It’s my throat, mouth and hands that are the hottest points of me currently. I used my hands, feverishly wanting to bring him all the way up so I could stop and get him angry. His fingers ran through my hair finding the right coordinates to hold my head still. His body shuddered underneath mine as I ramped up my speed so he can feel like he’s in control of the moment. He’s never been allowed to dominate my pace when I’m pleasing him. I was very transparent in the beginning stages of our romantic relationship about why he can’t force me down or hold me still. In exchange we have worked out an arrangement to where he feels like he’s in control but he’s really not.

The overflow of saliva and the tiny bubbles running down over my fingers and wrists turned up my pride. It’s also the sweet melodic manner in which my name and God’s fills the air. I always honor him with his few moments of fame in thinking that I can’t handle his measurements. There are times when I doubt myself. Like the generous man that Andre is, he never comes short with complimenting how charming my tongue is. The hyper speed of his shaft and juevos sliding in and out my mouth brought on the most beautiful feeling. My scalp is tingling from the massage he’s giving me while I’m finishing the one I’m offering him.

His call out to the heavens is making me greedy. I’ll admit to it and I want him to know. Halting, I knelt before him and pushed him down, ultimately mounting him. Our mouths reunited in sync, no exceeding dominance displayed. My back touched down against the plush comforter, he removed my robe, and I used my hands and feet to disrobe him of his pants.

“Cuidarme, yo soy tuyo.” I begged. Our bodies meshed together resembling a fly getting caught in a Venus fly trap. My internal organs accommodated his endowment warmly. I saw darkness as he set himself up with the right momentum. “Ay Dios!” I called on our Heavenly Father several times over in the most disrespectful way. Tightening the grip I have on him I forced eye contact needing to face him head on.

His affirmation of how I’m making him feel calmed my nerves. “Making love to you always feels a step above incredible..” he told me once again.

Blissfully grinning from ear to ear I matched his strides, watching him react just the way I wanted him to. “Mm,” I hummed. “..te sientes mucho mejor.” I moaned heavily. The darkness took over again, shutting down any verbal conversation for the rest of this fight to the top of the mountain.

————  ———— 

Staring at the moon aligned with the stairs I rolled my eyes listening to Andre ramble. He’s been on a hot streak for what seems to be pushing eternity. In reality only a few minutes have lapsed.

“Can you please sit down? Your pacing is unsettling.” I advised him.

“I can’t believe you would even stoop so low to bring Jorden into our problems. I know the testing was hard on you but you can’t place the blame of our downfall on him.”

“I never said Jo was the source of our problems! All I said was that the outcome and the process itself brought me down to a place I had never been before. I have no reason to blame our children for the reason our relationship was severed and I never will. You’re taking my words and running with them trying to make me look like a shit mother and I’m not. I always put our kids first. The reason we’re apart is because of tu y yo! There are no other parties to blame except for us so don’t ever drag anyone into our shit. We made this mess together so we are responsible for cleaning it up!” Standing up to walk around I meddled in my hair only wanting to reflect.

There’s the fight about Gerrard’s initial arrival. That was the first time that Andre accused me of being unfaithful. He hurt me down to the core. I was already battling how to deal with the slander brought to my name and in my place of work. The pain from Gerrard’s doing and the assumption was double what I was expecting.

Exhaling through my nose I picked up my hair, rubbing my scalp. “Dígame, was Gerrard’s first appearance something that stuck around for you? Did you think about that day anytime afterward?” I asked him.

“Sometimes, yeah.” He confessed.

“Why did you do it? I have never understood why you felt the need to question me after our history. I don’t think I’ll ever understand. I’ve never once accused you of anything even at my lowest point so I’m just trying to put the puzzle pieces together here.” As I met his eye I put in a strong effort not to look angry.

Andre’s shoulders fell as he ran his hands over his head. “I just got scared. I had a moment of weakness and took it out on you. I was sorry then for the way I behaved and I’m sorry now. I will forever be sorry.”

“I know. That’s number one. Numbers two, three and so on. Gerrard coming around the second time, the psychos you once called family, Chris… There’s so much heavy shit in your past and in ours as a unit that keeps me up some nights.” Letting my arms fall I crossed them over my chest.

“Are you a-”

Stopping him short I held up my hand swiftly. “I am not angry. I am not sad. I don’t know what I am.”

My shoulders gained weight. I dropped my head to one side feeling my muscles loosen up.

“I have a feeling that I-my mistakes are a part of our downfall. Amongst other things now that I’m diving deep into our past.” He says.

“Que otras cosas? Dígame por favor.”

He claims that all of what I mentioned are the strongest points that broke the very foundation we’ve built. I deny it all. There’s got to be something else that we are missing.

“I owe you my life babe and I know that you hate hearing about my suicide attempt but it’s relevant. That moment in my life will forever be pertinent to many conversations that we share. That memory, despite how painful it is to both of us, plays a key role in why I am the way that I am today. I still don’t see what you see but I do know that I don’t want to lose you.” He resumed the massage on my shoulders, making me feel warm again.

“A little to the right please.” I suggested. He followed orders eliminating all tension in my upper back. “Mira, I don’t take pleasure in giving you the ring back. Deep down I just didn’t feel right wearing such a statement with the way I was feeling. The way that I’m still feeling. I’m not sure how long it will take us to get back to our old ways but I don’t want to lose you either.” I faced him sliding my hands up his chest. “I did not come here to argue and go back and forth. I want to get to the root of the problem hoping that we can find some middle ground and work our way back to normal.” I used him as a place to lay my head.

“Agreed.” He solemnly voiced.

[tetrisfinished]

over the past little while, i've wanted to come on here and dump my thoughts so many times. but i've just found that i've been having a busy season of life and so....haven't yet had the opportunity.

and tonight, i do have the opportunity - sort of - and of course, nothing is coming to mind.

well, i guess that's not totally true.

i want to talk about anger.

i've been really thinking through a bunch of stuff around this emotion (but IS IT an emotion or is it just a byproduct of emotion that we feel!?).

see, the way i think of it - anger is never alone. anger comes as a result of sadness or loneliness or a host of other negative emotions.

and i think, the more we process and learn to deal with and understand our anger, the better able we might become at dealing with it.

let me give an example of what i mean.

i get angry a lot. for a lot of different reasons. one of them is....when esa is being annoying. when he won't listen to what i have to say or do what i ask of him - it usually leads to anger.

and in the moment of anger, all i do is try and suppress it and keep a calm facade on top and try and handle the situation without exploding on esa.

which works maybe 7 out of 10 times. but esa is left with a LOT of shrapnel of the yelling and rage spewing the 3 out of 10 times i am just UNABLE to process or hold in my anger.

so here's where i think i can work on understanding my anger.

i think i've identified steps to deal with it. i have to step away and really take a couple breaths to get myself back in the state of mind to really think through it

when i've done my breaths, i have to understand what is the reason for my anger; because on the surface it just is that esa isn't listening but more likely the underlying cause could be something like i'm losing control of my situation. like the other day, when i was supposed to be at my cousins' place to go to the carnival together and i stopped at a tim's to get a sippy cup for esa and esa was just not having it and decided to tantrum. what actually happened was, i blew up at him and yelled and scared him - which did work to gain control but i felt like shit right to this moment and that feeling won't stop because i literally tried to SCARE a 3-year-old into obedience. don't bother commenting, no shame anyone else could give me would match the shame i feel for myself in that moment and all through to today...and onwards.

ANYWAY, so if i had just forced myself to step back for TWO SECONDS and asked myself why i was getting so upset or worked up - i would have realized that it was because of multiple reasons.

my kid was not listening - ie loss of control

on top of that he decided to tantrum - ie distressed person that tends to severely overwhelm me

the pressure of arriving at my cosuins' place on time despite that i was actually already late - ie shame

the need to get my kid his sippy cup so i don't end up being the shitty mom who forgets everything for their kid because....shitty mom - ie shame

and all of these things led me to anger.

but if i had just stopped myself for 10 SECONDS, i would have realized:

it is NOT a big deal to arrive a little bit later to someone's place with good reason - i should not be ashamed and instead i should try and leave earlier the next time

my cousin has a BUNCH of extra sippy cups that i know she would have GLADLY handed over to me without a single judgement re: my parenting had i asked - again nothing to be ashamed of because my logical brain knows and understands that she is a compassionate human being and she is always willing to help if needed (and again, i should use this as a note to self to be better prepared the next time)

i never had nor will i ever have control over my kid or any other human being other than myself - so that loss of control over esa was a futile thing to even become upset over.

i should have shown actual compassion to esa in his time of distress and instead i turned around and made the situation 10 million times worse by exploding

but of course, as we know - i did none of those things.

so i guess probably my biggest struggle is being able to access the tiny little rationale or reasonable or logical part of my brain when the anger starts to cloud it and just step away and take a few breaths.

how do i do that?

it's i guess as simple as just doing it.

i have to force myself to step back. i have to force myself to take a breath.

i can do it. and i will try and try and try to do it.

because that feeling of yelling at esa will haunt me forever. and every other time i've given in to my anger.

anyway.

that's all.

goodnight.

[stripper-patrick]

Let off steam 😤 Oscar Diaz

Warnings: smut, filth, angst, language, choking, arguing, fluff, good ole act right

Tags: @mrsbanreswillseeyou

Relationship: Oscar Diaz x black plus sized reader

I’m sitting at my desk typing away a paper when I hear a gasp and women stare at me. I roll my eyes and get back to work until I hear someone clear their throat. I look behind me and gasp seeing Oscar with a bouquet of sunflowers. I smile but then realize where I am “outside please now”

I get up and grab his husky shoulders pushing him outside. We go right out the front door and I take a deep breath

“Mami what’s wrong”

“Oscar I appreciate the gesture but I told you never to come here” I only call him by his first name when I’m dead ass serious or mad

“Why you got someone here you don’t want me to know about?” I’m taken aback by his statement

“No it’s because I told you the day I had the interview they asked if I had any affiliation with the Santos”

“And you don’t” he says through gritted teeth pulling out his dimples

“You are my boyfriend. You are apart of them. Me and you are a team. What the fuck? Why does that not make a clear ass correlation?”

“And I told you from day one you had nothing to do with them”

My boss walks out and I fold my arms looking down “Y/N deal with your personal manners on your own time” she looks at Oscar in disgust.

Oscar is about to snap and say something but I cut in “Yea I gotchu” he leaves and I look to Oscar “you can’t come back here”

“The fuck do I care about what they think of me?”

“Because it’s my job Oscar. They will fire me”

He seethes through gritted teeth “I told you that I got you”

“No Oscar I don’t wanna depend on you. Can you just please never do that again”

“Whatever” he leaves taking my flowers

“Really” he ignored me walking off. Oscar drives off in his car while I return back to my desk.

“Y/N I need to speak with you for minute” I nod getting up and going back with her to her desk. “Please” my boss gestures to the seat and I have a seat in front of her while she sits down as well. She pulled her hands and sighs “Was that Oscar Diaz from the Santos gang”

“Yes” i’d like to protest but I’ve always been taught never to give up the information they don’t ask for.

“I’m going to give you a warning because I feel you’re our best worker but if he ever comes around here again I’m gonna have to let you go. We can’t have gang violence near our Business do you understand that?” I nod shaking my head and she nudges her head up to the door requesting me to leave.

....

I get home to see Oscar laying on the couch with a beer in his hand watching TV. The flowers already in a vase on the dining room table of our little apartment “hey”

Silence. I roll my eyes and walking back to our shared bedroom where I change my clothes into something more comfortable like shorts and a big T-shirt. I come back out to see Oscar still where I left him and I sit next to him “Are you dead ass mad at me?”

“You really been wildin lately ma” he takes another swig of his beer glancing at me briefly.

“Spooky I told you from day one they asked about the Santos gang and that it would be a problem if you showed up unexpectedly. They gave me a warning today luckily”

“How would they know if I’m even in a gang or not” i’m blankly stared at him wondering if he serious or not.

“You have a fat ass neck tattoo and a face tattoo” he huffs and stands up walking away. I stand up too starting to get heated. He should know I have a short temper to bullshit. “Oscar don’t you dare walk away from me”

Unfortunately when I get mad like this tears from my eyes threatening fall any given moment. I hate crying in general because it makes me look weak.

“Or what? I already told you the job is always an option for you I got you whether you like it or not” he yells I accidentally blank in the tears start streaming down my face as I breathe through the anger.

“And I told you all my life I’ve depended on a man and that I wasn’t gonna stand for it in my adulthood. You don’t know how many times I’ve been told you wouldn’t have this if it rent for me. Fuck I look like sitting here being dependent off of you” I yell back. I rush past him and go into the bathroom locking the door. I hate it when we argued like this.

I bring my knees to my chest and sob quietly letting out some of my emotions. I hear Oscar sigh and a soft knock appears at the door. ”Mami open the door”

“Go away” I sniffle. I take a deep breath trying to calm down. He knocks again and I get up frustrated. I swing the door open about to yell at him but he cuts me off with a kiss.

“I’m sorry” he says “just please don’t cry because of me” he holds me tight in his embrace scared if he lets go he’ll lose me.

“Let me make it up to you ma”

“Spooky-“ he shushes me and picks me up bridal style carrying me to the room.

“I think you’ve been on edge lately setting aside this incident” he says “snapping at people left and right including me”

He puts me down turning my back to his chest. His large hand snakes around my waist and up to my neck. “And I don’t appreciate that”

“So fuck the attitude out me” was all I had to say before I was bent over with my feet hanging off the bed and my upper body pressed to the bed.

His middle finger moves my panties to the side gliding through my slick “damn you this wet and I haven’t even touched you”

I moan hearing the condescending smirk in his tone. Spooky unzips my skirt pulling it down along with my underwear in one clean swoop.

“Oscar please fuck me” I beg. I hear the jingle of his belt drop and the tip teases my slit.

He pushes in grabbing a fist full of my hair pulling me up. I moan as he completely fills me starting his long deep strokes.

I moan bouncing back on him. He loved to see that sight. Oscar slaps my right cheek gripping it as he obliterates me “who’s pussy is this? Hmm?” He loved showing dominance but he stands equally with letting me be in control too.

“It’s y-yours baby” I moan out extending my arms to grip the sheets. He slaps my behind again “damn right it is”’

“That feels so good” I moan

Oscar moves his hand from my hair to my shoulder going deeper and slamming on my cervix. I cry out in pleasure biting my lip moaning each each thrust.

“Right there fuck it up” I grip the sheets harder hearing his curses and grunts under his breath.

“So damn tight. Ima have you all stretched out by the time we’re finished”

I give out making Oscar put his hands on my waist fucking me harder. At this point I’m moaning loud like a porn star.

“I I want you to soak me Mami. Let me fuck out all your frustrations”

I squeeze my eyes shut unexpectedly cumming all over him. I let out a deep sigh followed by a loud moan. He keeps fucking mr through it until he’s about ready to cum.

Oscar stops and flips me around on my back starting to jerk himself. his eyes shut and his dimples protrude from his cheeks asking me mom is my name cumming along my chest. Strings Of his children cover my chest and I take my finger getting some and sucking it off.

He groans stopping himself once he’s finished “I’ll go get a towel” he walks away and I hear the water run. I just lay there saying up at the ceiling until spooky comes over top of me wiping my chest with a warm rag.

“Feel better now?” He asks throwing the cloth in the hamper

“A lot better” he lays next to me pulling me on top of him.

“Good no more barking at me. If you want dick just ask and I’ll supply.... maybe if you act right” I giggle shaking my head.

“I always get what I want” he sucks his teeth with a smile

“Esa es mi princesa” he chuckles