#he just in general gives me such bad vibes and i think he really fucked up the surgery he gave me on my nose too

[greasydumbfuck]

watched the 2004 punisher movie yesterday with pixie and honestly i had fun 👍 some stuff was good some stuff was eh some completely irrelevant stuff made me mildly annoyed. but most of all it was funny and they had frank hang around with his tits out for multiple scenes so i mean how could i not have a great time tbh

[fanthirtheen]

A long post really negates any statement of "but I don't actually care" so I'm not going to pretend I don't. On one hand I would love to have like, a real conversation with an anti-Stolas HB fan that's respectful because I'd love to question them and understand where they're coming from, but I feel anyone calm and respectful enough about it wouldn't have the flavor of anti-stolas I don't understand. I've never had a problem with anti-character rhetoric before, and I don't inherently hate this either, it just rubs me wrong 80% of the time.

Scrolling Tumblr like the morning newspaper while I wake up, fitting some serotonin into my brain before the sun comes up, and I'm once again seeing more anti-stolas stuff. Which is. Not terrible because I really don't care if people dislike him like/dislike whoever you want to. But, like, every point I see them make I can't really argue against aside from staring at them for a second and saying, out loud, "that's just factually wrong". Like, every point. Stolas coerced blitzo into sex from the beginning? No? Blitzo went to steal from him and he convinced Stolas it was a sexual thing. Stolas flirted with Blitz at first but admitted he was joking IMMEDIATELY when Blitz started coming onto him. Stolas was JUST pathetic enough for Blitz (bleeding heart Blitz who uses sex as a tool already and has no problem handing it out to get something in return Stolas isn't the only one he's fucked to get something out of) to decide to stay and fuck the guy once. But he didn't he stayed all night.

Also we've had two episodes about Stolas caring about his daughter? He isn't a perfect Dad but that would be so fucking weird if he were. Because. You know. He doesn't have a lot of role models on how to be a great dad. Or how to have a healthy loving relationship. But he's obviously trying and Octavia obviously has appreciated his effort. They still have progress to do but it is factually an ongoing show it isn't over yet that's kind of how story arcs work.

Mostly, I get the impression that anti-stolas people are just mad that he isn't the villain he was aimed at being in the pilot. Viv isn't a "coward" for changing some characters personalities. She also (in the pilot) had Millie antagonizing Loona like they were work-rivals and that's gone entirely. It was the pilot. Things change between the pilot and the show. I get being attached to a villain, but for fucks sake the criticism of "Stolas pity party" makes me think you're just an asshole that I would hate irl. Do you say that shit about irl people when they express trauma/depression/anxiety/sadness in a way that isn't suppressed or martyrdom? Y'all are upset by a character that doesn't exist.

(And also obsessed with a version of Stella that doesn't exist. Y'all keep wanting a more tender version of her that doesn't exist in the show. Which, I guess, is argument for criticism on the creator again but, like, if you don't like what exists in the show maybe you just don't like the show?)

[lovecatsys]

dear lord. i wish navigating the medical world as a trans person was not so awful.

[schoenpepper]

It's Okay to Play Favorites (Vice Housewardens)

Intro: You accidentally get sucked into the world of Twisted Wonderland, your favorite game, like, ever. And uh, you may or may not have teleported with a plushie of your favorite character…

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, self aware au but not god, your card collection is just you being freaky and taking pictures of them, google translated French be warned, ortho’s is platonic and if u take it any other way i ban u, lilia’s is also platonic but if u see romance crumbs i won't stop u, ik ruggie and ortho aren't vice housewardens but get this idgaf

A/N: Bro college got me fucked (second day in i know i'm a fucking whiner i hate it all). Not a request, just some random stuff I wrote during my 3 hour round-trip commute jfc. If my Jade favoritism is acting up, no it ain't.

Masterlist

Trey Clover is a man often overlooked, whether in the fandom or the world of Twisted Wonderland.

So when you get transported in during orientation, you, the player, were holding a plush form of him?

He blanks out.

Sorry Riddle, your vice housewarden kinda crashed maybe you can reboot him or something.

Trey’s never thought of himself as anything special, but he must be if he’s your favorite character, right?

You befriend him with a giddy smile, he can almost see the hearts in your eyes as you fan[redacted] so hard you actually hug him in your excitement.

The player? Hugged? Him?????

“Crazy bro that’s like super nuts so jealous of you.” - Cater Diamond

Hm, he gets a bit bashful when you take so many pictures of him.

Do you really like him that much?

He…likes you too.

“Cringe.” - Cater Diamond

I’m just a normal person, you know? At least, the closest someone can get to normal in this place. You still want me? Are you sure?

…Okay.

If you’re sure.

Unfortunately, to date a dad is to put up with dad jokes.

Do you mind though?

Makes you the most delicious pastries and confectionery known to mankind. You’ll probably get 5 lbs fatter and a sugar addiction.

But your teeth will be beautiful because he teaches you how to brush your teeth properly.

(Ten kinds of toothbrushes…)

Picnic dates.

Tea party dates.

Baking dates.

You might need to go on a diet to stay in shape because Trey doesn’t mind fat. He will probably love you more if you’re chubby.

But he loves you regardless.

Rest of the cast is like, vaguely jealous because why Trey?

But also he has a generally good rapport with other people so it’s cool.

Maybe.

Ruggie Bucchi wasn’t really paying too much attention at the ceremony but you definitely drew his focus.

Is that a plushie hyena beastman?

Does not register that it’s him until someone calls it out.

What? Why? How? When? Where?

He probably has major self esteem issues because, you know, the school’s filled to the brim with rich kids and people with status.

He has neither money nor power. So when he finds out he’s your favorite character? Boom.

He lets out his cute (im not biased) laugh but it’s because he doesn’t know how else to react.

You want to be his friend? Why not?

(Laughs again because he’s exploding on the inside)

You hug him???? Crazy. You owe him a donut for that, bro.

Thinks the picture thing is a bit weird but who is he to argue with the player?

You’re weird, y’know? There’s like princes and moguls and stuff in NRC, why me?

You like me? You find me charming?

That’s not something I’d really use for myself but hey…knock yourself out. Shishishi.

Floof.

You get to scratch his ears and kiss ‘em and watch ‘em twitch while he tries to get away from you.

Insane bro wish I was you.

Cuddly and surprisingly clingy, loves loves loves being pampered.

Are you indoctrinated by my subby Ruggie vibes yet???

His love language is sharing food.

(Have you ever tried passing candy through a kiss? No? Wanna try?)

His grandma will love you <3

The other characters will be giving him major stink eye. The scrappy hyena? Really?

Yes really.

“Whatever, good for you.” - Leona probably.

Jade Leech is amused.

Rather childish, is it not? Well, he’s flattered that you think so highly of him and even have this stuffed toy in his image.

Unfortunately, he does hold enough respect for you as the player to not immediately use your infatuation with him for nefarious purposes.

Not to say he doesn’t tease you though.

You are the flustered one here.

He’s your favorite? Oya, how interesting. He’s never seen himself the way that you do, but who is he to argue with the player?

Please, what do you like so much about him? Do tell.

(His systems crash when you hug him but you’ll never know)

You seem to enjoy taking his pictures. If you let him [redacted] you can take as many as you want.

If you don’t take him up on his offer I will!!!

My, I never expected to be your ‘favorite character’, was it? Well, I don’t mind.

What do I think of you?

Fufu, wouldn’t you like to know?

Loving a sadist means you’re probably a masochist.

You like it when he ‘unintentionally’ makes you do something stupid? Toys with you? Teases you with his annoyingly adorable super cutie pie grin?

Bro you have weird taste I could like, never~

If you didn’t like mushrooms before you do now.

You wish he’d look at you the way he looks at his terrariums.

You know that silly, happy, dopey little look he gets? The lab coat groovy one? Yeah.

Hiking dates if you’re physically able to. If not, he makes like the fanciest dinner dates ever.

He does love you, promise.

The other characters are highkey judging you.

Jamil Viper is inside his hoodie and is very unlikely to ever come out.

You’re kinda embarrassing but what is he supposed to do?

You’re the player. You have a plushie Jamil. Tiny and cute.

Jamil doesn’t see himself as cute. Wouldn’t it be better if you had a different one? Someone sunnier, someone warmer, someone like…Kalim?

Jamil’s your favorite character?

Yeah he’s not leaving his hoodie.

When you’re so happy and excited that you hug him, his soul leaves his body through his lips.

Rip Jamil Viper.

I don’t think Jamil’s very used to the camera, considering he’s technically Kalim’s servant and servants stay in the background.

But since you adore him the way that you do, well, he won’t stop you.

You’re strange. Is this a prank?

No, I don’t mean to doubt you. It’s just that…

No, nevermind. Since you want me, I’ll—love? You love me? Fine, I can work with that too.

His favorite kind of date is one where you two sleep and cuddle together.

He needs a break.

It’s not too often that he can carve time out of babysitting, so any time spent with him you’ll cherish like gold.

You can help him with chores if you manage to persist through multiple rejections.

He’d really prefer not to make the player do chores with him, but when you smile so wide like that, he can’t refuse anymore on the grounds of you not enjoying it.

Kalim can lend you guys the carpet though, you wanna fly?

While the cast doesn’t generally approve of the snake, you’re very loud about your infatuation.

They can’t stop you.

Rook Hunt is a lover of beauty, and you, the player, are the most beauté of all! (full points :D)

Qu'est-ce que c'est? A soft and fluffy copy of himself? How wonderous! Marvelous! The adorable cotton-filled blah blah blah (insert soliloquy here)

While there’s a tiny thought in his mind that perhaps the poison apple or the queen would be more befitting of a nui plush, he still takes your fascination with him in stride.

(It’s not often that he’s in this role.)

To be your favorite, it is an honor!

He shall dedicate a poem to your inner and outer beauty!

Accidentally tosses you to the ground when you try to hug him.

Desolé, instinct. Try again?

He’s not used to being the one in the spotlight, but please, take as many pictures as you need!

Love? Love is the most beautiful indeed. Comme toi, tellement adorable. Lovely.

You’re asking if I have someone I love?

Je suis un lâche de ne pas exprimer mon amour pour toi. 

Either you get what he’s saying or you remember it so you can translate later.

Anyway, have you ever wanted to hunt for sport as a date?

No?

How about getting hunted for sport?

Still no? Shame.

Rook settles for little camping trips in the woods, just you and him and the forest (and his bow and quiver of arrows and his hunting knife and his dagger and—).

He makes very good roasted meat.

You’ll enjoy it as long as you remember not to ask where it’s from.

Uh, ignore how every other cast member is judging you. Love is love, right?

Ortho Shroud is very happy! Very excited! Yay!

You’re a legendary figure, and you’re treating him so nicely! 

Is that a toy made to look like him? You like Ortho? He’s your favorite character?

Yay!

Robo baby is very happy.

Since you like Ortho, do you like Idia too?

Can you be Idia’s friend?

Can you be a new older sibling? Please?

(Say yes or I will [redacted])

Hugs? Hugs!

Forehead kisses?

Yes!

You seem to enjoy taking many pictures of Ortho. Why is this? You like him that much?

If so, maybe you two should take pictures together instead of always taking pictures of him alone. He’d love to take lots of pictures with you!

Can Idia come?

I am your favorite character? Like in a video game? This world is also a video game?

That’s great!

What kind of character am I?

Lilia Vanrouge thinks you’re funny. But also totally correct.

He must be sinful because even you, dear player, find him absolutely adorable!

Hehehe…

Is that a tiny Lilia? Good taste! It’s almost as adorable as the real one.

When you hug him in your excitement, he just laughs and pats your back.

Grandpa vibes.

A picture? Why not?

A selfie, as you kids say. (bro you’re not even detached from modern technology???)

Really likes taking pictures with you.

Since you like him a lot and he’s your favorite character, be a dear and forgo your sleep schedule to game with him.

I’m your favorite, right? Surely that means you’d love to taste my cooking?

No? Why, I’m saddened by your rejection…

There we go. It’s not so bad, is it? I made it with effort, onions, garlic…are you alright? Oh dear.

[caineinthecorner]

Language (The Demon Brothers)

★ Based on my language general hcs. Part 2 is here.

Hi. Today we have the demon brothers language hcs, brought to you by a single dumbass bilingual. :D

I include mentions of bilingual/multilingual MC, but I use the term MC and you interchangeably in the bullet points. It's the same thing who cares (you can also add whatever languages you think fit I am just going off vibes tbh)

★ Lucifer.

Since he was the strongest and highest ranked out of the brothers, his innate abilities were muddled the least.

This is to say that he remembers a lot from his innate knowledge as an angel, and can actually fare incredibly well on his own if you leave him in the human realm.

(the language he preferred back in his angel days was Archaic Latin, which is also Simeon's preferred language)

When Diavolo brought up the idea of the human exchange program he was like "(: ok" and binged human language for like two months straight like a total psychopath

He's like one of those fancy 10+ languages fluent polyglots (how)

Despite his fluency, it is rare to ever see him speak them. He has better things to do and prefers demon tongue.

Or if he does, the Loquar Ad Vos that was applied to you once you arrived in Devildom doesn't allow you to hear it.

You try to swear in your native language around him and oh boy it backfires

That is how you learn he's fluent in everything under the sun (exaggeration)

Frustrated, you grumble that you will learn demon tongue just to one up him

He takes it like a challenge. Enjoy reading a million books on the demonic language and having double the homework for your little joke.

(he gives you hard material to learn on purpose to see you fail. Enjoy hell buckoo. Double hell? Hell²)

You kept misspelling good morning in demon tongue as a demonic death threat and that somehow turned into an inside joke between the two of you.

He has to keep himself from chuckling whenever MC screws up words

Your accent is lovely though. Keep it up

★ Mammon.

Spanish and English.

Ok I actually can't justify myself further than "Mams would absolutely fucking go to Vegas" and the fact that USA has a large Latino population but hear me out

You cannot tell me that he would not watch telenovelas. Like. C'mon.

he has the vibes of a Spanish speaker is what I am saying

he was SO frustrated about having to learn human languages you have no idea

In fact he probably still struggles a bit and that makes him really mad

Why is it so complicated all of the sudden?! It wasn't complicated Before!

He unconsciously associates human languages with the trauma of the fall, and the stress and hurt and turbulent emotions it conveys

So learning new languages besides the two he knows is a touchy subject for him

(but like, he will learn MC's native language despite this. Whining to hell about it, but he will. Everything for MC)

You are actually very lucky that you have Loquar Ad Vos with you, bcs he actually switches from demon tongue to either English or Spanish mid sentence sometimes.

Not that you notice with your crusty translator (Loquar also works for human languages it supports), of course.

"Ayo can you [Spanish phrase], oh and give me a [English word], for a [spanglish nonsense]" <- Mammon's dumbass not functioning in trilingual

Also he has an accent but he's trying

The others are used to it so they don't question it anymore, but they deadass could not understand Mammon at some point because trilingual was not computing

It was frustrating to say the least

You two play charades with each other when the other forgets a word in your respective languages

"MC WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE ANIMAL FUCK THAT CHANGES HOME" "... Hermit crab?" "THATS THE BITCH"

★ Leviathan.

Japanese (very decent) and English (bad) are musts.

You cannot tell me for a second this fuck watches anime subbed OR dubbed. He's too weeb for that. He will watch the original dub version for the full emotional impact

He wanted to know what happens in the weeb world of the west (and internet discourse), so he learned English through shitty 2000s anime forums and Duolingo

Probably plays Duolingo competitively and/or cries if he loses his streak

His hearing and speaking English is okay, his writing is literally so so shit

Tried to learn a romantic language to be corny but failed miserably.

(He steered clear of languages his brothers know so he isn't self conscious)

It was probably Portuguese or something since Mammon kept talking about being good at figuring it out as a Spanish speaker (due to it being a romantic language)

The diacritical marks killed him on the spot

Meu português não é bom... (crying)

Victim of the you're* corrections

Runs his several-paragraphs-long rants about weeb stuff through Satan so the grammar is legit

Actually thinking about it would be absolutely fucking hilarious if he knew russian just for funsies. Yeah add Russian to the list

He sends you crusty Russian memes at unholy hours in the morning. Calls that bonding

Would absolutely swear in loud ass Russian while playing Valorant or smt

"ПИЗДЕЦ" "LEVI IT'S 2AM SHUT THE FUCK UP"

Ah + he knows Morse code (obviously). He was really excited when he discovered it and proceeded to obsess over it for like three weeks straight.

Although by the time he learned about it humans had already moved on from its wide-spead use at sea (post-1999), the Devildom Navy adapted Morse code for their own use as per Levi's command.

He teaches MC how to use Morse code (bashfully) and they send lil' messages to each other for fun

★ Satan.

He inherited a good chunk of Lucifer’s angel-knows-all-languages innate talents.

He doesn't have the angel knowledge of every language, of course, but he definitely has a really high count since birth; Unlike his brothers who had to relearn their languages of interest.

However, he can tell™ that the topic of languages is kinda taboo-y, as it signifies the traumatic fall he himself was not there to witness, and kept quiet about it.

The others (mostly) think he just learned languages in his free time.

He is the designated google translate person. When the other brothers need translations, they ask him.

He gets very frustrated when he has to translate something on the spot

Absolutely knows Chinese and Latin just to read fancy old human books and be a menace about it

He has a copy of the Art Of War in Chinese I will fight you on that

Actually he probably owns every important human book in its native language

Culprit of the you're* corrections

If he has to read another thesis-length essay abt weeb shit by leviathan he will actually lose his shit

You know the Voynich manuscript? He's probably trying to decode it for funsies.

If you and him (unfortunately) share a language, he will absolutely correct the living shit out of you when you speak it

Look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't "erm ACtuAllY" MC. You can't.

His ass does not understand slang. At all. You tell him See You Later Alligator and he'll be like "tf you smoking ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ?"

★ Asmodeus.

French. And Korean. Maybe very mid English.

Ok so french is the language of lOVe and whatever + Korea is known for their heavy beauty-focused culture

I can see Asmo definitely picking up Korean just for makeup and self care brands purposes.

Like it is easier to browse for products he wants if he can actually browse the original places/websites himself

It's just more convenient and he's actually very good at language learning

+ Korean it is a "cutesy" language so it fits his vibe.

Like he absolutely would go "안녕 teehee (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)" to look disarming is what I am saying

He flirts to hell with Solomon in French. It is a language they both know and isn't supported by Loquar for translation so nobody can snoop their conversations

If you have the misfortune of knowing French I am so sorry for you bcs they are NASTY

Solomon is teaching him English. Asmo fakes being bad at it on purpose

★ Beelzebub.

He knows a decent amount of English.

What does he use it for? Order food. Obviously.

In fact everyone kinda assumes he just knows a few food orders and that's it but no he's actually very decent at English (borderline fluent)

He learned through clunky conversation with small restaurant owners

Beel actually makes a great effort to enunciate every word clearly, so he doesn't like speaking long sentences

"Would you like Salsa with that, sweetheart?" "... Yes," <- Beel has no fucking clue wtf salsa is but it tastes good so who is he to defy food gods (a nice Mexican grandma with a killer Pozole) whom have blessed him

I also think he would probably know some kind of sign language

Fingerspelling maybe, solely because it allows him to talk while having his mouth full or bcs his games are loud and he can't hear words very well

That and, like, the Devildom equivalent of sign language. DSL or something.

Look at him. Absolute sweetheart. He would absolutely want to include deaf or hard of hearing ppl.

★ Belphegor.

Ok so

I am going to be very fr with you

I believe Belphie would be the only monolingual (demon tongue "native") of the brothers

at most he would remember a few phrases of a few languages from back when he was an angel, but not any specifics

Like this dude has ZERO interest in human culture I cannot think he would sit down to (re)learn anything

he would fall asleep trying to learn human verbs actually

He only knows how to tell you to fuck off on 4 languages (/hj)

None which you speak. So that's kinda awkward

He doesn't know how to cast Loquar (nor has any interest in learning how)

Beel casts it for him if he needs it

He can and will deadass just remove the translator spell from you if you try to annoy/interact with him (except if Beel is who casts it on you).

(so Beel now also casts Loquar for you)

Begone >:(

[planetdream]

VAMPIRE SEVENTEEN

this post contains: vampirism, canon vampire lore depending on who you ask. mentions of blood, bloodsucking ofc. and mentions of sex [grinding, strength kink, orgasms] darker themes for wonwoo’s [hypnosis + kidnapping, sorry]

💌 sorry, this was rotting in my drafts. each entry has a different vibe. enjoy <3 this was requested btw

the man, the myth, the legend; SEUNGCHEOL is one of the greatest vampires out there (up there with dracula and nosferatu). he’s thought to be a myth, a story passed down generation by generation of an evil vampire that lurks in the night, you know, the usual. but every so often there’s proof, small hints that seungcheol is actually out there, lurking amongst the living. he rarely shows his face, only to seduce—plucking off one, maybe two, or groups of people for his dinner. seungcheol lusts for blood over anything. [he is indeed very dominant and very sexy—if you ask him to bite you, he absolutely will but he's more than likely to turn you.] kinda gives dracula 2020 vibe if you’ve seen it; he’s adjusting to the new world.

JEONGHAN is a rather "stereotypical" vampire. gorgeous, elegant, got turned when his hair was bleached, thus he's blond, bloodthirsty, and somehow even sexier. he's not one to lie about being a vampire, nor is jeonghan ashamed of it (he has no regrets); he'll flash his fangs or drink from someone in public, he doesn't give a fuck. and of course, what a slut he is. he loves to drink the blood of the person he's fucking, right as they're creaming for him. has allegedly had the most threesomes out of the thirteen. patrick bates type, flexing in the mirror as he's fucking; mind u, he can't see himself. has had a hand in the creation of a few vampires (direct result of him being slutty)

in his current lifetime, JOSHUA has decided to lay low. he's had several lifetimes of partying, drinking freely and the usual drama in the vampire community (centuries of arguing over the same shit). right now, he feels a bit lost, like something is missing. but he’s gained way too many hobbies to keep track of and he’s even started that wine company he’s dreamed of (mind you that was 100 years ago). he’s yearning, aching, lonely. envisioning him to be the type to be constantly searching for a soul that's like his long lost lover…signs up for hinge (bad idea); all of his matches want him to drink their blood once they find out that he’s a vampire, he’s not really into those that are eager for it.

ok im thinking vampire prince JUNHUI. you meet eyes with him in passing on a busy day. since then, he's appeared in all your dreams (most of them being of the romantic/erotic variety besides the small, sudden glimpses of blood and horrors, physically feeling a piercing sensation in your neck despite being asleep), he's shown up across the street of your work only to disappear in a blink, you've seen him in crowded places, just staring at you—strange, soft music playing in your head whenever he appears, seemingly caught up in his mystery. he doesn't appear for you until he's sure you need him; typically when something fairly traumatic happens. he sweeps you away in a time of uncertainty, offering to be your protector and to show you 'a new world'.

vampire boyfie SOONYOUNG. in classic vampire suitor fashion; he wines you, dines you, and if you want sixtynine (and other pleasures) are definitely on the table as well. i just imagine him to be extremely sweet and well meaning; which leads me to believe, he doesn’t tell you that he’s a vampire until like date five (he already assumes ur his partner by then). has a dilemma of ‘will they really love me if they knew about my affliction’. so he tells you, voice shaking. and you’re just like ??? hoshi? a vampire? LOL…. then he shows you his fangs—you watch how they protrude from his gums in real time; it’s quick, if you blinked you would have missed it. realizes that might’ve been a little off-putting and gets embarrassed. it’s okay tho, bc it makes him hotter :p

WONWOO, your incredibly hot history professor. you catch him on a dark street near campus one night, teeth buried into the neck of one of his students; veins popping out of his skin, face red in hunger as he feeds and feeds. once he spots you, he drops his prey—eyes filled with a look that’s a cross between fury and disappointment as he stomps over to you. it’s unnecessary to run, he’s already caught you before you’ve even turned your back. he whispers in your ear, tone enchanting like a lullaby. when you wake up, you find that your dark surrounding is actually a small, velvety box that contains you; stripped of your clothing in exchange for old satin material.

another vampire of the elegant variety JIHOON knows exactly how he wants to live the rest of his life, and he's not exactly looking for anything 'new'. he sticks to his bubble, his same set of friends and he only gets out every so often; preferring to bury himself within his own darkness and stench (a singular coffin in a singular room with no windows) only to come out for feasting purposes. i think that the one thing that does keep him tied to the earthly world is music; and often, he has published his own throughout the years under various names and genres. to jihoon, the best part of living (or lack their of) is the music; in addition to experiencing as much history as he has.

vampire boyfriend SEOKMIN longs for your blood. he craves to bite you. literally just say the word and he'll bite you. but only if you want. did i mention that he wants to bite you? has to look away from you when you're talking because he gets distracted by the pulsing vein in your neck; it speaks to him, whispering the breezing sound of blood rushing. he has to either look away from you or lock eyes intently with you; which ends up just looking like he's begging for pussy. and truth is, it absolutely does get him hard just thinking about drinking your sweet crimson nectar….oh the things he’d do..

ok so MINGYU has an advantage bc not only is he a vampire but he's built! like yeah, his physique won't change now that he's a vampire, and yeah, he now has vampire strength—he still goes to the gym. kind of just out of routine, but he says it still gives him a euphoric feeling. that being said, loves to pick you up and throw you around. strength play. you remember the type of sex bella and edward had in breaking dawn? that’s a regular for mingyu. almost regularly having to by new bed frames because when mingyu fucks, he really fucks. don’t worry though, he’s not always rough!

i am inclined to believe that MINGHAO is throwing blade-style, sexy bloodbath vampire parties as a sort of side gig or he's just been swayed into the club scene this lifetime. he's the guy you keep seeing at the club for weeks on end, and when you lock eyes with him, you hear a whispering in your ear. and all of a sudden, you want to approach him but he's gone before you can. one night he's the one to approach you. thus queuing a heavy, steamy make out in the club followed by some grinding. next thing you know, you're at his place and he's showing you all that life can truly be, all of the pleasures and curiosities. he shows you his fangs, as well, doesn't care if you're scared or not (he likes the fear, though). he does ask to bite you; and if you say yes, he indeed marks you up.

VERNON got bit rather recently (couple hundred years). in his human life he was very curious about the concept of life as well as life after death, immortality, and subsequently, vampirism. he drove himself into become a madman until his studies led him to becoming his own study subject. he projects that, if he's lucky, in the next hundred years he'll be able to build a vampirism research facility. despite being a vampire, there are still some things that he doesn't know. and for some reason, even after becoming a vampire, his research is always with humans in mind. he wants to help humanity improve, evolve, possibly to something greater.

SEUNGKWAN found a way to get rich off of being a vampire. he's a celebrity; a multimillion dollar 3-book deal (the first being an autobiography, he's thinking of making a vampire 48 laws of power next) and a late, late, late night talk show. occasionally joins the news to talk about the latest in vampire society (he's a spokesperson of sorts, often campaigning for vampire rights and such) and politics. inclined to believe he was a vampire therapist at one point. he’s more than just a pretty face and excellent conversationalist, though, he's had to overcome a lot of trials and tribulations in his many lifetimes (the perseverance of a vampire now available at your local bookstore)

vampire lee CHAN is dangerous!!! he's snatching hearts and breaking them (and slurping the blood out of them). the type of vampire that just needs some black sunglasses and he's fully able to walk in the daylight (no, he doesn't sparkle, but he wishes he could). doesn't have many enemies unless you count some of his exes then well.... he's not into turning anybody because although he loves being a vampire, those first few thousand years were filled with so much agony—watching your loved ones pass on, witnessing horrors beyond your imagine and knowing that there is nothing you could possibly do about it despite your gift of immortality. he'd rather just drain people of their blood and leave it at that (genuinely thinks its foolish to want to be a vampire, and will be offended if asked to turn someone). seriously, don't ask him to turn you.

[strniohoeee]

Stainless

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is a virgin who so badly wants to have sex with Matt, but she’s scared. However when they’re alone in the triplets house things take a turn….this is for the two requests I got for a virgin reader having soft sex with Matt🥹

Warnings⚠️: This is soft cute sex. Virginity lose, and that’s about it 🫶🏽

Song for the imagine: J’s Lullaby(darlin I’d wait for you) Delaney Bailey

⚠️This is an 18+ story, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Matt and I had been dating for roughly 7 months at this point. These past 7 months have been the best months of my life. I was surrounded by 3 people I loved, and making memories that would last forever

About five months into the relationship is when Matt and I finally decided to tell their fan base. Since I was always in their videos, some fans started to notice some vibes between the both of us.

Honestly I was petrified to tell them because a lot of their fans were super protective over them, and I’m a sensitive girl. I didn’t want to get any hate. Surprisingly we received way more love, and the occasional hate from some 14 year old, but nothing to make me feel any type of way.

Constantly Matt and I would watch shipping edits of us, some that even showed how we acted like a couple months before we even started dating. We loved it so much

Other times I would watch edits on my own of us, or just of Matt, and the comments had my jaw on the floor.

“I know he gives y/n the pounding of her life”

“He’s a skinny white boy. You know he be laying that pipeeeee”

“Poor y/n…..I know he be tearing her shit up”

Although these comments made me laugh, they also made me blush from embarrassment because they couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was a virgin, and Matt and I had only really made out and got handsy. Usually I’d break away and stop it, and he respected it and never said anything about it.

I knew he wanted to have sex because he’s a 20 year old man, and I for sure wanted to have sex because?? We’ll have you seen Matt??

But in the back of my mind I was so fucking nervous. I had never ever had sex. I’ve never given a handjob, a blow job, a hickey…..I’ve never even seen Matt’s dick.

Many times I would crave this intimacy, but I always allowed my fear to get to the best of me. However I was more than ready to have sex with the love of my life, Matt.

Matt and I were alone at their house since Chris and Nick had an event that Matt really could care less for. We spent the whole day together, and now we were currently in his room watching a movie

The whole time I kept thinking about having sex with Matt, and what it would be like. If I’d be bad, nervous or just out right not cut out for losing my virginity.

“Matt…” I said waiting for him to look over at me

“Yeah?” He said looking over and smiling at me

“Can I ask you something?” I said

“Of course baby” he responded back as he paused the movie

“Do you want to have sex with me?” I asked him, and to this his eyebrows raised

“In general or right now?” He asked laughing a little bit

“In general” I told him

“I mean it’s not something that’s necessarily crossed my mind. Of course I get urges, and want to have sex, but it’s not something my mind is always on.” He responded

“Well how come?” I asked him

“I mean I just care about you, and making you laugh and smile, and spending time with you. I just love to be in your company” he said back

“Oh….well have you ever thought of having sex with me…like at all??” I asked him

“I mean sure. Whenever we’ve had heated make out sessions it has crossed my mind. You know? It’s like I think to myself could this go further” he told me

“Oh…” I responded

“Have you thought of having sex with me?” He asked

“Mmm quite often actually” I said being completely honest

“Oh?” He said starting to blush

“But I know I always pull away before it goes any further” I told him

“Yeah, but I don’t mind at all” he said smiling at me for reassurance

“I guess I’m just scared” I said

“Scared of what?” He asked me with a head tilt

“Well I’m a virgin” I told him

“Oh” he said actually shocked

“Yeah, and I just never felt like I could move forward. Not because of you! I know I want to lose my virginity to you, but because I’m so afraid of being bad, or too nervous that it doesn’t work out” I said to him

“I get that. Losing your virginity is very intimate, and for sure scary. That’s valid” he said to me

“I was thinking maybe we could have sex” I told him

“Yeah of course” he said nodding his head and smiling

“Tonight” I then responded

“Tonight?” He said surprised

“Yes. I think I’m ready for tonight” I told him

“Okay. Then tonight it is” he said leaning over and kissing me

Matt and I had been making out for a good five minutes

“Are you doing okay?” He asked looking into my eyes

“Yes Matt I’m doing great” I said giving him a smile

Matt had kissed down to my neck. Leaving light kisses that were making me burn up inside. He had removed his shirt, and I removed mine as well

“Can I take your bra off?” He asked me leaning back a little bit

“Of course” I said shyly

Matt reaches behind as I lift up, so that he could unclip my bra. Slowly pulling it off of me, and allowing my breast to fall exposed

I started to blush. Never allowing a man to see me this way causing me to get a little shy

“Don’t get shy on me baby. You look perfect” he said giving me a sly smile

Matt had started to kiss my neck, and slowly went down to my breast. Massaging both breast before taking one into his mouth

“Oh Matt” I said in a whisper as my eyes fluttered shut

He then went down to the valley of my breast, and started to kiss down leaving sloppy kisses on my stomach. I was aching for his touch.

He kissed both hip bones before looking up at me

“Can I take your pants off?” He asked, and I nodded

He started to take my pants off as I lifted up a little for him to get them fully off. Matt in return removed his sweat pants as well

He went back to kissing above my underwear. This feeling alone left my hair rising and my thigh quivering

Matt laid next to me, and started to kiss me soon breaking away

“Okay baby. I have to stretch you out” he said. I turned my head towards him and agreed

Slowly he trailed his hand down to my underwear. Slightly dipping his hand in to massage my pelvic area before completely sticking his hand down my underwear

“Open wider baby” he told me, and I allowed my legs to open up more for him

“Perfect” he said, kissing me, and then he slid his hand all the way down coating his fingers in my arousal before bringing them back up to massage my clit

I just gasped and opened my mouth as Matt and I kept looking at each other

“Feeling okay?” He asked

“I feel so good Matt” I told him licking my now dry lips

Math started to rub my clit in circular motions. Allowing me to squirm and moan at this foreign feeling.

“Okay baby this may hurt” he said before sinking his middle finger to my entrance. He was looking into my eyes as he slowly started to insert his finger into me

This was a burning stretch I’ve never felt before, causing my eyes to shut and my brows to furrow

“Ow Matt” I said finally opening my eyes

“Too much? I can stop” he said reading my face

“No no keep going” I told him, and so he did. He slowly started to rock his fingers in and out curving them up to hit my G spot

“Oh fuck” I moaned out

“That feels so fucking good” I said as he started to rub my clit with his thumb

Slowly he inserted his ring finger. This burn was something that almost made me stop him, but I wanted this way too much for him to stop now.

Once he got the second finger in he started to pump in and out at a come here motion

“Oh Matt….ive never felt something like this” I told him as my mouth fell open

“Does it feel good?” He asked

“So so good” I said whispering the last part

He was slowly fingering me for 5 more minutes before he decided to stop

“Do you think you’re ready?” He asked me

“I think so” I told him, Matt removed his underwear and my mouth fell open

“Matt….I don’t know that that will fit in me” I said almost laughing

“Baby don’t boost my ego. It will fit” he said blushing and biting his lip

“This will hurt, so I’m going to go slow, and if it’s too much I’ll stop” he said

“Okay thank you” I whispered to him

Matt had both arms on either side of my head and was looking into my eyes

“Ready?” He asked one more time

“Yes Matt I’m very ready” I told him

Matt grabbed his dick with his right hand and slowly started to push the tip in. Looking up at you to read your face. He slowly started to push the tip in, and as he started to get in is when you winced

“Fuck Matt that hurts” I said gripping his left arm with my right hand

“Want me to stop?” He asked

“No no keep going” I told him

He slowly started to insert himself into me. Paying close attention to my face. Soon he was all the way in, and he let out a sigh

“So perfect,” he said, moving my hair out of my face. Matt was allowing my vaginal walls to relax around him before moving

“You can move” I told him, and so he did. Slowly sliding back and then in. My pussy was still stretching and burning around his dick

He was letting out little moans that were making me so wet.

Slowly Matt started to pick up his pace. Sliding in and out of me in such a delicious way

“Fuck Matt you can go a little faster” I told him

Matt started to thrust into me a little faster and I was completely losing my mind. If sex felt this good, why was I waiting this long?

“Matt this feels so good” I said moaning

“You feel so fucking good around me” he said moaning the last part

Matt had gotten a little more on his knees, and allowed his arms to bend. Coming down closer to me our chests were touching, and his head was right next to my ear

I could hear his pants into my ear as he was thrusting into me

“Fuck Matt you sound hot” I told him pulling his hair at the back of his head

“Yeah?” He said in a breathy tone

“Yes…so so hot” I said as I continued to pull at his hair

Matt continued to thrust into me becoming a sweaty and groaning mess above me

“I’m going to start rubbing your clit, and you’ll be able to cum in no time” he told me before snaking his right hand down to my clit starting to rub

“OH MY GOD” I screamed out at the intense sensation I was feeling

“Too much?” He asked looking at me

“No no just right keep going. Fuck Matt I think I’m going to cum” I told him as I started to clench on his cock causing him to moan

Matt was fucking into me at a good pace and rubbing my clit, going in between slow and fast circular motions

“Matt Matt Matt” I said scratching his back and clenching down on him harder

“Come on baby! You can do it for me” he said rubbing his fingers faster

“I’m going to cum. Fuck fuck fuck” I said shutting my eyes and throwing my head back even more

“Come on. Come on give it to me” he said into my ear

“FUCKKKKK MATTT” I screamed out as I started to convulse and tremble. My orgasm completely washing over me. I was seeing white and my legs were shaking as I was cumming so hard. Slowly I started to come down my from my high with heavy breathing and dry lips

Matt pulled out of me when I stopped twitching around him. I felt weird without his dick in me. He started to pump his cock

“Fuck I’m gonna cum” he said kissing my lips

He pulled away and his lower abdomen started to contract as his mouth fell and his brows furrowed. He looked into my eyes as he came all over his hand and my lower stomach. Slowly coming down from his high and rolling onto his back next to me

“Matt that was amazing” I said looking over at him

“Was it? You don’t have to lie” he said catching his breath

“No matt. It was amazing, and you were so careful with me I appreciate it” I said rolling over to my side and kissing him on the cheek

“Anything for my pretty lady. I love you” he said looking over at me

“I love you too Matt” I said smiling at him

“Let’s get you cleaned up. Follow me let’s shower” he said and grabbed my hands

When I got off the bed my legs completely gave out on me and I almost fell to the ground

“Oh my god Matt…my legs are fucking jello” I said laughing as he grabbed me and helped me walk to his bathroom

“I’m sorry baby” he said also laughing

“I can now say Matt Sturniolo has made me weak in the knees physically” I responded laughing

“Shut up” he said all shyly as he turned on the hot water and let me step in first

We had showered together, and then spent the night watching movies until we eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

The End

I hope you guys enjoyed this one! And for the two people that requested this I hope I didn’t disappoint, and I’m so sorry it took forever for me to get this out 🥹❤️❤️

-J💅🏽

[impishjesters]

Agents of Cat-astrophe

warning(s): none unless you count Jax note(s): This gave me a good chuckle as someone who's consistently dropping more curse words than regular words, I'd imagine the system to just censor anything and everything that comes out of my mouth at that point. A/N: (In response to the requester) I wish I was taking breaks (I mean I am sorta), I'm fully aware I'm running myself ragged right now. But it's hard for me to stop myself... I'm caffeinated and chaotic and I don't wanna stew in my brain for too long. At least I get up and stretch every now and then. Request: Anyways, I’m requesting a Jax x reader (crushing stage) where the reader is sorta at the same level of meanness as Jax and likes to do pranks with him on the other characters. Also the reader’s digital form is a short cat that at first glance makes them look nice/friendly (obviously not an actual cat but yk what I mean), and they have a sailor’s mouth that is unfortunately censored but that doesn’t stop them (can also purr and does so when they’re content which is usually when there chilling in Jax’s room or with Jax in general). I think it would be fun if the reader surprisingly was sorta nicer to Kinger and has a small soft spot for him and does more playful pranks on him than mean/harmful ones.

When you first showed up, you looked so small and frail, like a literal little kitten completely out of place in this big colourful nightmare world

Ragatha thought you’d be like Pomni, and boy howdy was she wrong

You just ended up being another Jax—who you later met and found out was also an agent of chaos

Similarly to Pomni you cursed up a storm when you first arrived and the endless censorship that came with it

You have a knack for testing Caine’s patience when it comes to your sailor’s mouth, much to Jax’s entertainment. It’s not every day Caine loses his cool like that and you’re just a newbie, needless to say, you caught his interest

That sailor’s mouth also gets used towards the other’s and Jax won’t lie and say it’s not funny because shit’s hilarious.

Sure they all curse from time to time, but you just laid out an entire sentence that was completely and utterly censored. Like the system said “fuck this I’m gonna censor the whole damn sentence”

Unlike Jax who doesn’t show any remorse for who he pranks or how cruel they are, you draw the line at messing with Kinger.

Okay, that’s a lie you still mess with him but it’s not like how you mess with the others. Kinger has this sweet unstable dad/grandpa vibe and it kind of makes the place more homey in a weird way. (plus that man has been through enough trauma, give him a break, and talk about his bug collections or some shit)

The upside is that his mind is so scattered sometimes that using the same pranks on him always results in something hilarious. So you really don’t need to try for any new material. (he also really needs to consider actually using the lock on his door, he makes it too easy)

Jax considered you his little partner in crime the more time passed—not exactly a friend nah, but like a good ol pal that also likes to partake in joining him and his bullshittery

The first time he hears you purring is when the two of you are lazing about in his room, he’d gotten distracted collecting things for a prank on someone and heard the loudest rumbling coming from behind him

“Are you fucking purring?”

It’s a little embarrassing at first, you’ve uh, never done that before..

Jax has the biggest shit-eating grin, if he wasn’t using dumb cat-themed nicknames before he sure as hell is now

“Oh, like you don’t stomp your feet like a petulant child you overgrown rabbit.”

He does not stomp his fuckin feet like a temperamental rabbit, thank you very much (that’s a fuckin lie if I ever heard one)

Jax already had mixed feelings about you before, nothing particularly bad, just feelings he couldn’t place…that was until the prank…

He doesn’t know how you did it, or how he got so wrapped up in it. But you pranked him, and you pranked him good.

Oh, oh okay that feeling is new… butterflies don’t typically belong inside your gut, now whether Jax has ever experienced a crush before or not is probably beyond him. But these little butterflies are a bitch and it takes awhile of placing two and two together to realize he’s… caught feelings to some degree

You, however, probably had a crush on him for a while, perhaps really noticing it after the whole purring fiasco when you learned that it only happened around Jax

[babybulbasaur920]

What Twisted Wonderland characters can say 🚬 the bad word for gay

(Inspired by Blake Jennings YouTube series)

Riddle: was probably taught to think it, cuz his mother gives me huge conservative vibes. Can theoretically say it, but you could not waterboard it out of him

Trey: I’m sorry, come for me if you must, but no. That hat is strictly for Reddit straight people. Like he most definitely has some “Live, Laugh, Love” sign in his room. Big ally though

Cater: can say it. Is the type to say it to your face and you think “did- did he just call me a slur?” And you realize five minutes later he’s bi

Ace: cannot say it. Not because he’s straight, because he used up his quota in middle school

Deuce: can definitely say it, but doesn’t because no one told him he could. Like Riddle, you could not waterboard it out of him

Leona: definitely can say it. Maybe. Gives me “normally straight but whatever happens after some drinks happens” vibes

Ruggie: look, I honestly am not a fan of him, but twink with a Everest level high voice. He can say it

Jack: eh, I’m on the fence

Azul: octopi are gay as hell. He can say it but won’t because this businessman is way to smart to alienate 94% of his classmates (victims)

Jade: eels can change between gender. He can say it. Doesn’t say it, because he’s a proper gentleman

Floyd: can say it. Doesn’t know it’s a slur, and laughs when you tell him. What, are you gonna stop him?

Kalim: no straight guy wears that much jewelry and is that obsessed with his “best friend” (Jamil, when I catch you😠). Can definitely say it. Doesn’t because Jamil told him it’s a bad word, doesn’t realize he is one of those for whom it is not a bad word

Jamil: girlboy swag. This bundle of pixels is like, right in the middle of the male and female gaze. Calling his classmates that word under his breath is how he gets through his day

Vil: yes. Without a doubt. But would he, is the better question

Rook: fuck yes. Like Vil, he wouldn’t say it, but it you pulled his hair and call him it, he may cream on the spot

Epel: can he say it? Debatable

Does he say it? Probably

Idia: sorry, have you read his ceremonial robe vignette? Boy is the general of the bisexual battalion, he can say it. For some reason it does sound really hateful coming from him though

Ortho: I plead the 5th regarding if this underage child can say it, lest I end up on Fox News. If he did, I feel it would be like if Hello Kitty said it. Like, would you really be mad? He’s bby

Malleus says it, but as it’s original definition as in, a bundle of sticks. He can say it in the gay way though. Bro gives new meaning to the word “dragon fruit”

Sebek also only knows it by the stick meaning but if he finds out it’s a slur, he would never say it again. I think he could, but he’d never tarnish his Waka-sama’s reputation like that

Silver, once again, knows it to mean a bundle of sticks. Something about him gives me asexual vibes, idk

Lilia, canonically bi and a discord kitten, he can say it. Thinks it’s funny to hear his kids say it, but would stop them if it became a problem

[kkoct-ik]

PLEASE explain ur shin DID thoughts I wanna know so bad

boy am i glad you asked (LONG POST)

prefacing by saying the sou DID headcanon is very special to me to the point that i talk about it as if it is canon. i know it is not canon. i'm not arguing that this is what these moments mean, i'm arguing this is an interpretation that i really enjoy, and this interpretation of sou's character speaks to the DID experience Unnervingly well.

i use sou & shin interchangebly, they are parts of the same person, but generally i say sou for during the death game and shin for before.

so. first.

the important bit — sou's dissociation from shin tsukimi

during his first trial, shin tsukimi is given the winning percentages. there he learns that 'shin tsukimi' cannot survive the death game.

to escape shin tsukimi's weakness and inevitable death, shin abandons him, and instead takes on the name and certain characteristics of midori, to build a new self — sou hiyori. he disowns his identity as shin tsukimi to psychologically escape from his fate, so that he can psychologically survive in this moment and keep living.

a part of DID is the repression and disowning of the weak and hurting parts of you, and in turn outwardly becoming & functioning as someone or something else that can survive.

sou very literally dissociates from the weak parts of his identity and becomes & functions as someone else to survive.

and that's the absolute basis of the headcanon. turn back now if you want to. the rest is me slowly losing my sanity.

me slowly losing my sanity

so. listen. here's the thing. theres a lot more in sous behaviour that you could interpret as DID if you know where to look.

it's not quite as simple as "there are two of him: shin tsukimi (who was weak, easily manipulated, and incredibly scared) and sou hiyori (who is not that)". there are quite a few more moving parts to this guy, and also a lot of grey areas where his identity breaks down and develops over the course of the game.

the sou we first meet is timid, but not particularly vulnerable: polite, but observant. you get the vibe he is silently taking note of everything you do, because he is. during the first main game, he takes control of the discussion by claiming to be the Keymaster, both securing his survival, and giving himself a level of control over the discussions.

when the information he found on the laptop and his attempts to throw suspicion on Sara causes everyone to doubt him, he begins to panic. he brings up the moment Nao hit him - something that must have been triggering to him, considering what defines 'sou hiyori' is that he is not weak like shin tsukimi is.

i like to think in this moment a subconcious part of him realises that the present sou hiyori is not removed enough from shin tsukimi to be free of danger. despite his distance, he's weak enough to be attacked - he could have been killed, and now he's at the mercy of the masses.

his protective parts and mechanisms need to kick in at 200%. so they do.

under the pressure sou snaps and goes into a a very aggressive protector part. sou projects outwards his vulnerability complex, calling everybody else 'weaklings' who are going to die (reinforcing his dissociation from shin tsukimi). he suddenly openly rejects the value of trust and human cooperation, in an attempt to make himself seem untouchable and entirely in control.

section: sou's protector part

i love this guy so i marked out a section just to break down his protective mechanisms. this is a direct continuation from the paragraph i just ended.

after his first instance in the first main game, sou's protector part (easily spotted by his fucking mastermind persona) appears multiple times to cover up moments of vulnerability. it makes him out to be a liar, but it also makes him seem incredibly calculating and dangerous, which works just fine for him.

during the token trade game, sou 'fakes' amnesia to avoid being singled out for his actions during the first main game. he reverts back to his polite & timid demeanour for a portion of the chapter, and also sleeps for a large portion of it (due to his sickness). but to allow himself this leeway (either to play up or let slip his weakness) he employs protective mechanisms: he enthusiastically tells Sara that his memory loss was a lie, and that he's been playing them all for fools. he intentionally gives her the impression that every moment of weakness he has let slip or otherwise is part of an elaborate plot.

whether this is purely for the sake of managing how the person he fears most percieves him, or because in this part he is genuinely so disconnected from his vulnerable parts and weakness that he refuses to acknowledge it was real, is up to interpretation to me. but i do love how many layers of lies and contradiction he symbolises.

(i choose to believe his amnesia was a genuine moment of vulnerability, because the scene makes me So Happy if i read it as a vulnerable part slipping through the cracks, who's entirely disconnected from the stressful events of the main game and is genuinely terrified. i like to think his later claim it was a lie was because he could not risk Sara genuinely witnessing his repressed weakness that he swore he disowned at the door. but i digress)

he has a similar 'moment of weakness' during the second main game, where he makes it more explicit that he is not necessarily him telling the truth when he says his earlier weakness was a lie. he relies on other's confusion and the fact people think he is one step ahead of them to protect himself.

he continues to employ his mastermind persona even after the shin tsukimi reveal - although its effect is somewhat lost now that everybody knows that he has vulnerable parts (and people he loves) to protect, and that his persona exists for their sake, not because it's his true personality.

mfw when the ego protection mechanism crumbles because i was vulnerable once and now my protector part hates me.

section: shadow sou

i was going to immediately follow onto shinai and what we can learn from him, but i want to clarify shadow sou first.

the long and short of it is i think he's the closest thing we have to a midori introject. while you could argue sou hiyori has introjected traits (which he most certainly does: he takes his name for christ's sake), i think shadow sou most explicitly takes after him, especially if you read soushin as an emotionally abusive relationship.

(lingo: what is an introject? an introject is an alter who represents internalised traits and figures. for example, if you had a personality who treated you like your mother treated you, and reinforces the beliefs you internalised from her, that would be an introject of your mother. they do not have to be accurate to the real person's personality; they only echo how you saw and internalised them.)

shadow sou speaks with sou like an familiar but condescending friend, comments on sou no longer being shin, and exists to reinforce shin's feeling of weakness. midori encourages shin to become the person you want to be; shadow sou is the one to pressure shin into becoming someone else. midori is a 'scary friend' of shin's, shadow sou physically frightens and attacks shin during his moment of panic.

as far as we know, we never meet shadow sou from Sara's point of view, so i interpret him as a more internal alter. there's a lot to play off with sou's / shin's / shadow sou's relationship: i think they are soooo cute. i just wanted to point out the similarities between him and midori.

section: shinaiiiiiiii: what can he tell us?

ok yaay onto shinai. although not strictly a version of sou (not his repressed weak personality, not his polite but wary personality, not his masterminding ego protection personality, and not his internal shadow self), because he is a computer program, he does give us a certain perspective on who sou used to be.

disclaimer: we know shinai was trained by midori's love poetry, and thus you can argue his personality could be slightly altered to be more suited to midori's purposes. for the sake of this section we will take things with a grain of salt: it's what shinai can suggest about shin, not tell.

shinai gives us the impression that shin tsukimi was polite, had somewhat low self esteem, and was conflicted on midori: on one hand, he scared him a lot, but on the other, he considered him close, and they spent a lot of time together.

during the maple boss fight, shinai sobs for midori to help him. i get the impression that despite being afraid of him, shin still relied on midori for security and reassurance (sou's lantern dialogue to corroborate).

my friend suggested that shinai's / sou's conflicting accounts (with part of him being afraid of midori, and the other seeking assurance from him) could in itself imply that shin (even before the game even began) is made up of two alters with opposing attachment styles. i dont disagree.

sou vs the shinai test data

this one will be short i promise.

i really like sou's morbid interest in the shinai test data. and i know the joke is that it's love poetry and sou is embarassed and repulsed by how midori saw him, especially now that he knows how cruel midori can be, but the scene also spoke to me as a dissociative person; there is nothing more viscerally uncomfortable than learning about things you did as a different personality. it messes with your brain, because it was you, but it also wasn't you - it can't be you, you don't remember it, and it's not the kind of thing you would do, but you did - and so your dissociative rejection signals go absolutely insane. so i like this tiny scene for personal reasons.

and thatse it (i think). i think i said it all.

tl;dr:

this is my headcanon :33 or well. a graphic i made a few months ago as i was solidifying the headcanon. some minor things ive changed my opinion on / perception of since but it gets the idea across.

that said i fully support any other interpreted sou hiyori systems. go fuckin wild. i spoke to a friend a bit ago about their personal DID sou take and i had so much fun.

thank you for hearing me out

[trippingontheescalator]

Which Classic Novel Should You Read Based on Your Fave Snape Pairing

Snily - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (1847). Let's see, a low class and abused, brooding Byronic leading man? Check. Madly in love with a woman who ends up marrying a snobbish rich man who looks down on our hero? Check. Obsessed with her even decades after her death? Check, check, and check. Oh, and let's not forget that the child the woman has with her husband shares her eyes. Hm, suspicious.

Snames - Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson (1740). So, as a fellow snames fan, let's be honest with ourselves: all of our fics can be boiled down to "I can change him." We want James to be despicable, inhuman, and cruel to Severus, and then we want James to realize how disgusting he is and grovel at Severus's feet, because we are all basic bitches. So basic that one of the earliest novels in the English language is basically this. Pamela originated this trope.

Snirius - Deep Water by Patricia Highsmith (1957). Snirius fans are unafraid of dark, toxic relationships and unhappy endings, and, well, here's a book for you! Deep Water is about as toxic as you can get. It's about a man who murders his wife's lovers.

Snucius - Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw (1913). Alright, alright, so this isn't a novel, this is a play, but fans of this pairing definitely seem to be into the whole sugar daddy/"I can turn this feral street child into an elegant gentleman" kind of vibe, and this is what this play is all about. Audrey Hepburn is fantastic in the film adaptation My Fair Lady (1964).

Snupin - Bear by Marian Engle (1976). You Canadians are probably like, "What the fuck? Is my OTP a joke to you?" The answer is yes, but that's beside the point. Hear me out. The main character is an archivist who is very bad at relationships and kind of shuns society in general. Like our Snape. She ends up in the Canadian wilderness on an assignment going through a dead person's belongings. Also, this dead person kept a pet bear that our heroine now has to take care of. Our heroine begins to yearn for something wild, our pet bear is a literal bear, but also incredibly pathetic and docile just like Lupin. Anyway, the two fuck. Literally, she fucks a bear. THIS BOOK WON THE GOVERNOR GENERAL'S LITERARY AWARD. THAT'S LIKE CANADA'S PULITZER I THINK. None of you werewolf-fuckers should act shocked and dismayed by this. We all know how you really think Sirius's prank should have gone (in which instead of James rescuing Snape, Moony makes sweet sweet love to him).

Sorry, guys, no Snarry or Snamione. I don't really read those pairings so I can't give an accurate recommendation. But if you've got thoughts, add to this!

[rdng1230]

Sal Deluca Meta

Okie dokie here we go. Just remember y'all asked for this.

Here are some repeated talking points I’ve seen about Sal and why I think most of them are ignoring certain contexts or misattributing things to Sal that were said/done by somebody else. Also just general thoughts about our little mook.

Hen Begins

That Sal was a raging racist/sexist/homophobic. 

Let’s deal with the first one first. Is he a member of the white boys club? Absolutely. He makes no effort to include Hen and doesn’t really acknowledge her at all until he’s complimenting her for her skills at the end of the episode. This is OBVIOUSLY not good. He should’ve been kinder and more welcoming to her. But the only one who specifically makes negative/mean comments about Hen is Gerrard and Tommy. Literally the only thing you could even interpret that way is him saying “for real?” to Gerrard’s diversity hire comment and the fact that he drops the pick axe or whatever the hell that metal thing was on the floor along with everybody else besides Chim. Not great, but also with what we know about how other rookies are treated even by Hen herself, I don’t think any of this behavior falls into “irredeemable racist monster” Buck chased Ravi with a chainsaw for christ sake. 

Ok now the sexism. He actually stares daggers at Gerrard for the entirety of his stupid “waste of taxpayer money/women won’t be able to rescue my guys” spiel. Like the camera specifically focuses on Sal looking pissed as hell. Another thing I’ve heard falsely said is that after Gerrard storms off, Sal/Tommy follow him. That’s not true. They do get up and leave but they actually leave in the ass opposite direction. Sal’s face when he signals to Tommy to get up reads to me as “let’s get the hell away from the fallout of that grossness.” not “I agree with what that dinosaur just said.” But I also realize people can interpret that moment differently. 

I think the sexist reading largely comes from the Kristen Stewart conversation. And come on, This is the lesbian website, if we start dinging people for finding Kristen Stewart attractive, we’re all going down. Plus again, Buck was STEALING EMERGENCY EQUIPMENT TO GO GET LAID AND HE’S EVERYBODY’S FAV SO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. We see Sal kind of ignore Hen but also agree with her at the same time during this exchange. Again a case of Sal not really acknowledging Hen but not attacking her either. Go and look at his face when Tommy says that NY bitchiness comment. Sal does not look at all happy with him. Most of the time when anyone is being actively mean Sal looks pissed off, not approving.

Ok now the homophobia thing. And it's at this point I’m going to bring up the idea that some characters seem bad/good not based on their actions but on whose perspective we’re viewing those actions from. I see this being a problem with several characters. Most notably Taylor Kelly. But that's a whole other post. 

Sal’s team Jacob comment is homophobic and gross but it's also 1) 2009 and 2) directed at someone who he clearly knows incredibly well and who we KNOW gives as good as he gets. I easily could’ve seen this interaction reversed with Tommy saying that to Sal because that's who they are and how their friendship works. But because we’re seeing this from Hen’s perspective it's another thing that makes her feel isolated and othered. And again THAT IS NOT GOOD SAL SHOULD NOT BE DOING THAT. But I don’t think Sal at all said that with the intention of putting Hen down, it very clearly reads to me as Sal teasing/riling Tommy up as they always have. Now obviously the harm still hits even if the intent wasn’t present. But I think if we can forgive Tommy for comments that were MEANT to be mean, then we can forgive Sal for comments that were just him fucking around with his best friend of several years. 

That Sal was the ringleader or Gerrard’s right hand man

Does Sal have a sort of in charge vibe? Yeah absolutely. But very notably the only thing he actually initiates is the olive branch. It’s him that offers a hand to Hen and says nice job and you’re good at what you do. I also will die on the hill that the hemorrhoid complaint was his. Chim would definitely say that but not in an official report, Tommy would definitely bad mouth Gerrard, but not like that. Now who is known for kind of cruder language and a short fuse and absolutely would put that down in an official report? Sal motherfucking Deluca that’s who. 

One notable thing that I find interesting is that Hen herself distinguishes Gerrard’s behavior from the rest of the team's. She definitely gives them hell during her big speech but when Chim does dishes with her she specifically says men like him not men like them. Just something I realized on my most recent rewatch. 

To summarize, the only real thing Sal did that was unique to him (because they all failed to stick up for Hen, yes even Chim. Chim was nice to her but he never actually stood up for her to Gerrard’s face. He tried to redirect the conversation a couple times but that was it.) was the Kristen stewart comments and the Team Jacob comment. I would argue Tommy’s comments in Chimney begins and his NY bitchiness comment in Hen Begins are way more targeted, hateful, and fucking rude. (said with all love because we know Tommy had a bunch of growth and change and became the man we all know and adore.) IMO nothing in Hen begins that Sal says/does is as bad as what Tommy did/said.

Bobby Begins Again

Ok another reason why I don’t think Sal is this irredeemable sexist/racist/homophobic pig is WHY ON EARTH WOULD HEN STAND UP FOR HIM IF HE WAS???!?!?!? Hen is THE FIRST PERSON TO CALL OUT THAT CRAP even from the first episode she says something like “why is that always the first instinct with you whiteboy macho types?” So why why why why would she stand up for Sal if he hadn’t shown any improvement in that area in the now 7 years minimum that she’s worked with him. Answer: she fucking wouldn’t. Ok moving on.

The Bobby stuff

So remember how I said perspective changes everything? This is the major reason why. We as the audience love Bobby and know intimately the struggles he’s faced, so we’re naturally going to be angered by anyone who is antagonistic towards him. The thing is Sal doesn’t know ANY of that. This is what Sal knows about Bobby.

He’s from somewhere in middle America and has never worked in a MAJOR American city like LA/NYC. That’s it. He COMPLETELY ACCURATELY I MIGHT ADD predicts that anybody with that background will struggle to adapt to the specifics of LA. It’s Sal that has to pick up Bobby’s slack as he adjusts, calling out the shots at the tree trimmer call, taking the initiative with Maurice even though Bobby does ultimately do the saving. (Which Sal actually seems impressed by btw.) Bobby still can’t even read the city map when they pull up to the restaurant fire call. 

Now imagine you’re Sal. First you had Gerrard as captain, who (I think it's fair to say) you DID NOT LIKE. One of the things he did was put down firefighters who disobeyed orders by rescuing people. We saw this with the “fetching a tide” call and with saving the boy in the submerged car. Hen disobeyed orders but showed real skill as a firefighter. And all she got for her troubles was being berated by her Captain. 

Ok then after Gerrard you have an interim captain that seems like a decent dude, but he leaves and for a while you have a revolving door of retiring brass that are checked out, behind the times, or just generally disengaged. You become used to filling in as captain and get actually pretty damn good at managing the team. (I say this because Sal leads the team several times in BBA and nobody looks at all like this is a new development) Then they finally pick a nobody who has never worked in a proper city before and to you he’s just the newest asshole that will probably screw up and get someone killed. Sal has no idea about the challenges or traumas Bobby has had to face, just like we have no idea what might have happened in the 5+ years between HB and BBA. Sal has probably MANY REASONS not to trust Bobby that we don’t know about. 

So how would you feel after you’ve successfully rescued a teenage boy’s life, if your new captain who you’ve known for like a day and still doesn’t even know how to get the engine to calls on time, calls YOU stupid for SUCCESSFULLY SAVING A CHILD’S LIFE. I think you’d be likely to blow up a little too. 

Was Sal a hothead? Absolutely. Was he being smart by mouthing off to Bobby? Absolutely not. But I think his lines to Bobby during that scene are so telling. “You’re just the latest jag off in a long line of jag offs to come to this house and think you know how to run it.” In other words, he’s not really seeing Bobby during this exchange (he couldn’t possibly, Bobby is still being very closed off and won’t tell anyone what his story is for years) he’s seeing the long line of assholes that started with Gerrard that Bobby is unknowingly falling into the pattern of. Just like how Bobby didn’t really see Sal and one relatively tiny restaurant, he saw his wife and family and a massive apartment building with no way out. That to me is the tragedy of Bobby and Sal. I genuinely think they could’ve learned a lot from each other if they had left their baggage at the door. 

In other words, would we judge Sal if he had gone after Gerrard in the way he went after Bobby? I doubt it. And that to me is what Sal is actually doing, going after Gerrard and all the other nameless asshole captains he’s been dealing with for YEARS. Sal was hotheaded and impulsive, but at the end of the day I think he was just dealing with misplaced anger that he put on Bobby, something both Buck and Eddie have done at some point or another even when they DID have all the information. If you can forgive the lawsuit arc, and Eddie’s comments in season 5 about Bobby’s kill count than dear god I think Sal has more than earned a pass. 

Overarching things I find interesting about Sal that I don’t see anyone talking about 

He cares a lot about the people they save on rescues, he’s the one on the majority of calls saying some variant of “its gonna be ok/we’re gonna get you out/don’t worry. Whatever the firefighter equivalent of bedside manner is, this guy has it. 

His personal code of who he gives a shit about seems to boil down entirely to who has skills/is talented and who isn’t. The minute Hen shows real promise by saving that little boy, he is down there hand shaking and complimenting her. Ditto Freddie Costas. “Smart kid, probably saved his own life with that move.” You see this in his conversation with Bobby too “that wasn’t luck man that was skill.” You have to earn Sal’s respect and the way you do is by demonstrating competence. Sal genuinely does look impressed with Bobby for apprehending Maurice and showing ingenuity, the problem is it's immediately undercut when Bobby belittles him for saving the kid. 

Anywho, that’s my Sal defense thesis. There’s probably other stuff I forgot but that's the bulk of it. I reserve the right to randomly reblog this with any other shit that comes to mind. Also as a disclaimer I still LOVE reading toxic Sal or asshole Sal content, absolutely eat it up with a spoon gimme gimme gimme. But I think it would be unfair to say that’s the ONLY read of him. He clearly does give a shit and is capable of growth and change, he just also happens to have a short fuse and very little willingness to go about things in a tactful way. 

TLDR: free my man, he did do some of that shit but so did your blorbos, it's just your blorbos had the narrative on their side when they did it.

[greenunoreversecard]

Kai general and Romantic headcanons

A/N:sorry if I got any of the characters wrong, I was using a combo of wiki/Google translate as I don't speak any of the languages mentioned. Pls let me know if I got any info wrong, i will gladly go in and change it to make it right.

General:

Half Indian and half Chinese.

His and nya's last name is 鄭 (Zheng), but he says it's Smith bc when they where younger he got in the habit of lying about his name so he Didnt have to deal with CPS.

His ma is from Visakhapatnam in Andhra Pradesh, and was a practicing Hindu. Ray is from the 云南 (yunnan) province, and was a practicing theravida Buddhist. Ray is ethnically from the 傣族 (dai people, also spelt Tai in english)

Before his parents dissapearances, they both brought him to their hometowns, and actively taught him both cultures and religions, which he continued to learn about and even teach Nya about after their dissapearances.

When he was 14 he bought a small boat and him and Nya rode it across the costal line, and he promised Nya one day when he was older he'd bring the both of them to their parents hometowns.

He's a Buddhist.

He speaks so many languages.

Like so many

He's fluent in Thai, mandarin and cantonese chinese, telugu, urdu, hindi, Punjabi, arabic and ninjago-ian(idk whatever language ninjago speaks)

Also trying to learn Indonesian.

He also knows yunnan dialect bc his dad would speak in it more often than not

Absorbes info like a sponge

He likes to quilt

He always wears a golden bracelet He got from his moms jewelry box after she left.

Likes to draw but is bad at it, so he colors coloring books

Introvert

He may act all confident, but he really isn't. super insecure

Soooo good with hair

Like, has all the stops. 10 step hair care routine

rivals Zanes cooking skills.

When working out focuses on building rather than lean muscle.

Mother friend

has dragged all of his friends into the water splashing festival.

Fatal flaw is loyalty and kind of hubris (it's conflicting, ik with the insecure and extreme pride, but like- it makes sense in my head. Inferiority/maybe superiority complex.)(it makes sense bc this is such me behavior. Imagine hating yourself but thinking ur the baddest bitch alive)

Likes to stare at fire

If he can't sleep he'll make a small bonfire to stare at and think

insomnia

Chronic cigarette smoker

Romantic:

Hes more show than tell

Def acts of service (me frfr)

Although, he is very cuddly.

Not in public, though. Maybe infront of the other ninja if it was a rough day

Loves to rock you gently from side to side when yall are hug

loves to give you temple kisses

He's very gentle with you, treats you like glass

You wil prolly say ily first, and he'll go;"🧍‍♂️...cool?"

He has mommy and daddy issues, but HEAVY on the mommy issues. Have fun with this hyper-independant fuck who can't accept help without feeling like a failure even though they need it (I'm not projecting you are)

Goes all out for holidays and anniversaries.

Doberman/German Shepard vibes tbh

When it's just you two he doesn't feel the need to fill the air with meaningless chatter, so if he feels safe enough to just share air without talking feel honoured and cherish it bc that means he actually trusts you.

A little rough around the edges, but will remember that thing you said 5years ago on ur first date

Most dates are chill inside and take a nap

But sometimes if he can he takes you on the town or someplace fancy

Also likes to show you his favorite childhood spots

[talenlee]

Lessons Lee Mulligan

I want to be better at running tabletop games.

I’m not bad at it, by the way. I haven’t had to contend with players giving me complaints any time in the past… maybe fifteen years. The games I run generally receive praise and players show up because they want to play them. I am currently on a break from running a game though you know watch this space, but I still think of myself as a storyteller, a game runner, and it is with that in mind I have been gritting my teeth in frustration at how good Brennan Lee Mulligan is at it.

I don’t have any malice for the guy. I admit, I had a wildly incorrect read on him as a person when I first started watching him. Somewhere along the way he mentioned that he’d never had alcohol or drugs, and I immediately started to edge him towards the ‘formon or exvangelical’ basket. Then in the Starstruck Oddysey campaign he mentions his mother’s name and his godfather’s name and I realise that actually he’s basically indie comics royalty, and that was quite a thing to realise.

Quite frankly, finding out how his mum feels about him and what she did for him as a child makes me feel very distressed because it seems so impossibly nice and good in ways that disorient me. It’s like watching Bluey, I can’t understand a world where a dad is that nice to his kids.

Still, Brennan Lee Mulligan is good at being a storyteller, dungeon master, game-master, whatever term you want to use, in a way that makes me want to take notes. Some of it is unuseful and unapplicable – I don’t have a custom mini maker on hand and can’t afford one and don’t even get to play on a physical tabletop any more. Some of it is the comical pointlessness of the system that he uses – watching D&D 5th edition involves needing to know almost nothing about the game, because all that really matters is if a number rolled is high or low, and he’s used it for murder mysteries and criminal heists just fine, because whatever else the system is doing, the focus on what the story demands is all it needs to make function.  Instead I want to focus on things Brennan does that I think I can use in my own games.

I suppose just in case, I’m going to talk about some minor details from a Dimension 20 campaign, Fantasy High that talk – obliquely – about spoilers for the first and last episodes. You might not want to read this if that’s a thing for you.

He’s Very Good At Actual Improv

Shock, horror, the guy who ran an improve school and has had years of playing around in improve performance with his friends he trusts is really good at it. The ability to build on what others are doing, enabling them in how they do it, and to trust them to not fuck up what you’re telling them, or the vibes you’re putting onto your

This isn’t a radical diagnosis of his storyteller abilities. Brennan’s job involves numerous other types of web show, including appearances on Game Changers and Make Some Noise which are both shows built out of improvisational comedy.

What can I extract from that though?

An immediate thought is that Brennan is careful with word choice and is extremely unselfconscious about others. Commonly in his dialogue you can hear the phrase you see that they say, which is obviously, when extracted, gibberish – at best it’s padding. It’s also, and this is important: fucking fine. People don’t make supercuts of him saying that, they make single big cuts of the thoughtfully constructed improvised monologues, which are delivered with the high dudgeon of a preacher. I think those are like lego constructions – he knows the pieces, he knows the structure to fill them out, and fills the spaces for them piece by piece.

General knowledge and presentation is useful for this skill. Be aware of a wide variety of ways people communicate, for example. It’s not like Brennan is a master of voices – you generally can tell you’re hearing Brennan say something when he voices an NPC – but the fact he has a swathe of different ways of talking, a bunch of Different Guys to dream up and get mad at – is a useful part of the skillset.

I don’t have players (at the moment) who are avidly into this kind of thing. But recognising the players as audience to experiences, and not players antsily waiting their own turn, is useful. I think Brennan treats solo interactions with players away from the group as if those interactions are interesting and fun for other players to watch, and part of that is, I think, built out of treating engagements as performances. They aren’t things to get out of the way, they’re the material players and people are there to watch.

He Does Put In The Work Ahead Of Time

I have a theory about the conclusion of the first Dimension 20 campaign. It’s not provable and I honestly don’t care to hear Brennan’s take on it, because it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. What matters is what it tells me about what’s possible.

For those of you unfamiliar, Fantasy High’s first campaign was centered in a magical high school for adventurers. It introduced the players to the character of Arthur Aguefort, a delightfully reckless wizard with preposterous power in the field of Chronomancy that seemingly is always one step ahead of whatever his silly actions indicate. In this same story, there’s a prophecy, keeping a dreadful villain contained, and that villain’s containment is breached at the very end of the story, and then there needs to be stuff around that prophecy. It’s a pretty good story, especially in the way that Arthur’s plan is seemingly derailed by the player characters dying in episode 2, and then he sacrifices his life to bring them back. At the end of the story, Arthur comes back to life, in a big dramatic moment that gives everyone a chance to refresh mid-fight with a boss that’s otherwise a bit beyond their abilities. Cool story, cool bit, and it all dovetailed with the prophecy, because of the specific character who died getting a miraculous natural 20 at the last moment.

Except.

I think that with the way the prophecy was worded, and with the secondary details and characters connected around them, it would be entirely possible to conclude the prophecy and defeat the baddie if any of the other characters had been the person to do it. The character who triggered this refresh didn’t have to be who it was, anyone could have done it and the explanation of the prophecy would work just fine, thanks to some homonyms. If I’m right, not only is this a cool mentalism trick that makes Brennan look psychic, but it’s also an example of the powerful advantages of being prepared ahead of time for a spreading network of possibilities.  

I don’t do as much prep work as I want to do. Or rather, more correctly, I don’t do as much prep work for my games as I want to have done when the time comes to run the game. The difference is pretty subtle, but it’s present. Part of it is, I think that prep feels both easy and boring, the deadliest mix of things for my kind of player mindset. When introducing players to locations I so rarely have lists of things like NPC names and random traits on hand for them to grab a stranger off the street to talk to, and keeping those characters distinct from one another is easier when I have those tools on hand. Having short descriptors of places, lists of street names, just the detritus that makes up a place, that would make life easier for me when trying to organise details and let me use a lot of anchoring details.

Making those lists, however, is pretty tedious!

What makes this even funnier in the context of the now is that really, ‘make me a list of descriptions of NPCs for a steampunk street in Vienna,’ is exactly the kind of thing that a large language model software system would be really good at but doing that runs the risk of generating characters that sound boring, and I’m not wild about the idea of engaging with those systems where I don’t have to.

Conclusion

If you’re like me, an older millennial who’s never succeeded at much of meaning, and you see cool people doing things around you that you think ‘oh wow I’d love to be doing that,’ you don’t have to let it fester in you and make you sad. You can take their examples and use them as guideposts for how you can do the things you want to do. Engineering someone else’s success is impossible, but you can at the very least recognise what it is about how they work that excites you.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[dilucsfav]

OH EM GEE HIIIIII !! FOR THE SUB THINGY COULD I REQUEST XIAO, SCARA, GOROU AND KAZUHA IF YOU CAN???? ABSOLUTELY NO RUSH AT ALL, TAKE YOUR TIME RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

omg HIIII!!!

HELL YES I WAS PRAYING SOMEBODY WOULD REQUEST THIS

this is gonna be so fun to write!! i had a lot of fun with dom genshin men acting like subs, it’s time to do sub men acting like doms😻TEHEHEHSHS THIS EXCITES ME

…. i have never written for some of these characters (gorou, scara, ALBEDO!!!, etc etc) but i’m so excited omg

i’m so sorry i’ve been so absent HELPPPP my energy has been so low and shit but i’m really trying to write more i promise I HAVE SO MANY FUN REQUESTS I WANNA WRITE AHHH

there were so many men i wanted to write for this so i’m sorry it took a while </3 but yes here you all go!!

Dom!genshin men x sub!reader (ft. scaramouche, xiao, kazuha, gorou, albedo, tighnari, childe)

warning(s): nsfw, slight? knife play, blood, marks and bruises, choking, spanking… yeah all the good shit, put ur big boy panties on😩

scaramouche

im sorry but he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about your pleasure when he’s being dom-

would force you to choke on his dick with no mercy ong, just making you take it all deep and hard and mhmmm

IM SORRY LMAO IM JUST IMAGINING HIS SMALL ASS BEING DOM AND TRYING TO BOSS YOU AROUND AND ITS MAKING ME GIGGLE-

IMAGINE CALLING HIS FUCKING 4 FOOT 3 ASS “DADDY” OR “MASTER”- IM SORRY I 😭😭

sorry these are supposed to be good hcs mb

anywho he’d be a very mean & stubborn dom, and low key kinda abusive-

WOULD slap you if you’re a brat/didn’t do something right that he asked of you. like NOT SPANKING but like SLAPPING

would absolutely get off to seeing you bleed/using a knife on you💀

^^AND CRYING TOO??? yeah he’d probably hit you so hard or fuck you too much until you’re a crying mess cuz he’s into that and we all fuckin know it

“Say it again, (Y/N). You wanna be stuffed with cock so fucking bad, huh? Admit it.”

would call you dirty slut, whore, yada yada all that shit

IM SORRY YALL LMAO I DONT VIBE W SCARA IN THAT WAY BUT HOPEFULLY ITS SOMEWHAT ACCURATE 💔💔💔

Xiao

xiao please fuck me

anyways

so mean but such a soft dom at the same time, you get me?

when hes thrusting n shit, he’d totally go slower and harder rather than quicker and not-as-hard

…. cuz let’s be honest… if he went FAST… literally would be digging your fucking grave cuz his inner demons would definitely conquer the fuck out of your tushy

IM SORRY IMAGINE HIM GOING EXTREMELY FAST AND JUST GOING “EVIL CONQUERING” DURING IT-

i’m sorry please laugh at my jokes

honestly there isn’t really any kinks that i can think of that’d he’d be into?

in general, i think sex with him would be EXTREMELY intimate & sweet. like throughout it he’d pleasure you but he’d be so careful about it and so sweet💔💔 he’d have moments where he’d get carried away but it never goes too far

his teeth latching onto your neck while he’s fucking you HELLO!!!!!! CONQUER ME PLS

“You’ve been so, so good for me. Do you think you can take it all, (Y/N)?”

dude his dick would be to die for- cuz it’s not super big, in fact it’s pretty average size, BUT ITS SUCH GOOD DICK LIKE HE GIVES SUCH GOOD DICK AND WE ALL KNOW IT. LIKE HE KNOWS HOW TO MOVE IT IN ALL THE GOOFY FEEL GOOD AREAS N SWEET SPOTS N EVERYTHING

^^imagining his body all sweaty while he’s towering over you, fucking you, watching your expression and panting, brushing this thumb over your face and praising you but in a way that he’s asserting that he’s in control?

PLEASEEE

dude i’m sorry i’m sorry but i need to write just regular hcs & scenarios w xiao SO I CAN WRITE ABOUT RIDING HIS DICK CUZ GODDD

anyways i’m getting too carried away with xiao, next friend to write about-

Kazuha Kaedehara

soft dom. one hundred fucking percent. no way in HELL anybody can convince me he’d be a mean dom.

ngh ngh ngh THATS THE SOUNDS HE’D MAKE, THATS THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE HIS WHIMPER/MOAN WHEN HES GIVING DICK

tbh he’s just so gentle but so teasing to you too- he’d absolutely embarrass you and get you all flustered and have no regrets about it

“Mm… feels good here, (Y/N)? Look me on the eyes and tell me, my flower.”

would hit ALL the sweet spots and we all know it

pls pls he’d intertwine yours and his fingers and squeeze your hands super tight while he’s doing it with you, god god while also asking if you’re comfortable? omfgggg

…… do i think kazuha kaedehara likes seeing you tied up? ………. kinda

IDK CAN YALL SEE IT??? CUZ IDK I FEEL LIKE HE’D JUST ENJOY IT, OR AT LEAST HOLDING YOUR HANDS ABOVE UR HEAD?? PLS with that little innocent look of his /////////…

he’d do this awfully attractive chuckle during it I CAN JUST FUCKING PICTURE IT

oh holy shit he’d absolutely lift your legs onto his shoulders so he can kiss your thighs and just hold your legs cuz cuz coz UHHSHSHSHSH

legs legs what’s on the menu? legs legs what’s on the menu? legs legs what’s on the menu? *clap clap clap clap* LEGS!!!!

(please tell me i don’t sound like a dumbass and that somebody gets that song reference)

honestly kazu is totally a pro with his fingers… i don’t make the rules, i just write them

that made no fucking sense anyways

Gorou

IVE ACTUALKY NEVER WRITTEN FOR GOROU IVE BEEN WANTING TO FOR SO LONG HES SO MS HINA BBG

i’m sorry i’m cackling at the idea of gorou being dom but

ok but if he’s the dom one, it’s probably if he’s… in heat

^^YOU KNEW IT HAD TO BE SAID CMON CUS WHEN ELSE IS THIS MF PUPPY ENERGY MAN GONNA BE DOM? exactly.

so with that being said, we all know what “puppy energy” is like… puppies are very fast therefore Gorou go vroom vroom in that hole-

am i making too many dog jokes?? this is going to make me sound disgusting im going insane

so anyways … yeah so he’d go super fast and he wouldn’t really talk too much dirty he would just be VERYYY vocal and would pant and whine and grunt and all that shit

imagine him whispering “yes yes yes…” as he’s yknow GOD SAVE ME FROM MY HORRENDOUS SINS

he would hold your face as he’s going absolutely feral stop and then give you sloppy little kisses all around cuz he loves you 💔💔

i don’t think he’d bite & leave hickeys to “mark his territory” or whatever… that’d be a different character in heat 🌝 (that character comes later in these headcanons hehe get it because this text is green get it and anyways nvm)

so anywho he’d definitely leave smooches all over you and would just make you feel so loved and would give you ALLL the fucking attention

instead of being the type of dude to say that shit like “good girl/boy” “good job” “you’re doing well”… i can’t really see that idk maybe that’s just me??

^^ i think he’d probably say more things like “you’re so beautiful when you do that” “i’m so grateful to have somebody like you” yknow???

“(Y/N), don’t stop that, please… you should just look at how amazing you look right now.”

he’s so cute though definitely a soft dom that would make you feel all good n happy n loved and hhhhhhhhhhhh

Albedo

FINALLY I CAN WRITE FOR ALFREDO SAUCE HOLY FUCKING SHIT

please IVE WANTED TO WRITE FOR HIM SO LONG PLEASE YALL DONT EVEN KNOW HES LITERALLY MY FAV GENSHIN CHARACTER YALL PLS

anyways

jesus omfg he’s such a hot dom GUYS GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING TO RANT TO SOMEBODY (besides my magnificent partner they are so amazing for listening to my bullshit) ABOUT HOW DOM ALBEDO WOULD BE IN BED

for starters he’d tie you up. not just wrists but fucking ankles too

also while he’s fucking you he’d give you this look of like?? as if he’s studying you?? yk like examining you for a test or some shit yess me next master ngh🌝

would also have this look of just DISINTEREST while he’s going ham with you, like almost like he’s bored??😭😭 just so unphased

^^ just imagine him staring at you blankly PLEASE THAT IS SO INCREDIBLY FUNNY TO ME CUZ ITS SO TRUE IDK (and it’s hot)

absolutely he’d tame your attitude so fucking fast. such a big tease omg help

honestly he’s totally a giver- like he’s kinda not human so bro prolly dgaf about some of that shit anyways but imagining this scrumptious man slightly creasing his brows before releasing? eye and ear candy

(guys i promise i don’t just like him cuz of his massive fucking cock i actually just like him cuz his lore i swear-)

“Oh… did that feel nice, (Y/N), hm? Right there, was it?”

let me be your test subject pls

would rub your head?? afterwards?? THATS SO FUCKING RANDOM BUT IT WOULD BE SO AWKWARD TOO LIKE ITS HIS FORM OF PRAISE OR SOME SHIT

his aftercare is literally “ok put ur pants back on, let’s get back to work”

why am i attracted to emotionally dismissive gentlemen?

Tighnari

ah yes, i missed writing for tighnari

shit he’s so he’s so

unlike gorou (when he’s in heat), tighnari doesn’t necessarily have to be in heat to be dom…

god he’s such a fucking tease, he’d EMBARRASS THE FUCK out of you and would just laugh

another man that just takes it slow but OH HO HOOO IS HE FUCKING GOOD AT IT

teaser whilst also he’s twirling your hair with a finger, rubbing your lip with his thumb, smirking at you, voice low, hand rubbing sweet but suggestive circles all over you YESS PLS SIR

“Tsk… so needy, aren’t you, (Y/N)? You can’t wait very long at all for it, can you? Go ahead and ask me for it then, little slut.”

he has such attitude 💔💔💔

sex with him is the definition of “breeding you” cuz it’s just that… intense… just hot n sweaty and mhmm we all know fs

would bite your back, stomach, chest, legs… would leave bruises n hickeys ALL over you omfg with no shame at all

he wouldn’t give you anything unless you asked or begged for it NICELY ofc

^^would rub your head with a small “good girl/boy” praise too YUMMYYYY

even though he’s a big tease, he’d also make sure you’re okay with everywhere he’s touching you and would make sure to give you a nice lil aftercare session right after <333

Childe

jesus yall i had a childe phase-

i mean he’s cool n shit but like idk i don’t vibe with him much anymore🙁 HES SO FUCKING FUN TO WRITE FOR THOUGH!!!!

he’d spank you, tie you up, shove your face into the sheets and make you take it, would laugh at you if you cried… yeah he’s fucking mean in bed

^^ he’d know what’s too far n shit but yeah

^^^ ALSO IS IT JUST ME WHOS ALWAYS GOTTEN HUGE VIBES THAT CHILDE IS DEFINITELY INTO SPANKING YOU?? like there’s definitely other characters BUT ESPECIALLY HIM LIKE???!?!?!?!?

sex with him is so hot help, probably hurts so fucking bad because his dick is probably massive but it’d feel so good and would be so worth it

i’m going to rot in hell for being such a whore

this is so foul to say but he’d make you wear a skirt while he… yeahhh from the back 🤰

I MEAN AM I WRONG??

^^ mf probably wants to see you in a maid dress & cat ears n shit too he seems like he’d be so down fucking bad

he’d totally grab your face and make you look at him while he’s doing his shit

“Feels nice, yeah? You want me to keep going?”

no matter how dom he may act, he will never not whimper

^^^I CANT SEE HIM GROANING LMFAOSO HES TOTALLY A WHIMPERER

…. and he’d get off to seeing you cry. or rather wants to see you cry

^^ CUZ HE’D BE ALL “aww does it hurt that bad? I’m sorry…” AND ACT ALL CHILDISH

nasty man smh

[dr-spectre]

Rating all of Callie's Outfits!!!

I'm bored so i decided to go through most of Callie's different looks, including most from concept art and promotional material, and rate them all on a scale of 1-10.

1 = trash

2 = very bad

3 = bad

4 = below average

5 = mixed

6 = decent

7 = good

8 = great

9 = amazing

10 = perfect

Now I'm not an expert on character design or fashion so i may not have the most insightful and """"objective"""" takes or whatever, but I'm just going off how i feel about the looks. This is very subjective and if you disagree then that's perfectly fine. I also won't be including EVERY SINGLE outfit in every piece of concept art, some of it are just variants of pre existing outfits (Haicalive Kyoto Mix golden outfit, concept art of her squid sisters outfit but with a different pattern) and some are just concepts for the Squid Sisters in general and not "Callie outfits." (Splatoon 1 has a lot of these and uh... they are quite interesting... recommend looking at it on Inkipedia. Very.... interesting indeed.)

Anyways, let's get into it. (Images from Inkipedia)

Splatoon 1 - Squid Sisters Outfit

Rating: 10/10

I think there's a clear reason as to why this outfit is so damn iconic. It's simple yet effective, it stands apart from Marie's outfit while still maintaining the theme of a "j-pop idol." It has a very strong silhouette, eye catching magentas that are complemented by the blue reflective parts on the outfit, and those pumpkin pants fit Callie's personality so insanely well. She looks absolutely adorable and stunning in that outfit.

Splatoon 1 - Young Callie

Rating: 10/10

Do i even need to say anything? LOOK AT HER! SHES SO CUTEEEEE!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!! IM GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE FROM THE SHEER AMOUNT OF CUTENESS I'M SEEING!!! LOOK AT HER LITTLE KIMONO! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Splatoon 1 - Red Fox Splatfest

Rating 8/10

It's Callie wearing a Christmas hat and a nice red dress. What's not to love?

Splatoon 1 - Fancy Dress

Rating: 9/10

I literally cannot think of a single flaw or dislike about this dress. Maybe the dress is a bit simple? But that's me REALLY pushing it. It's still so fucking beautiful. SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL! I NEEEEDDD a 3D model of this ASAP!

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 7/10

I mean, it's pretty good but it's not outstanding you know? Love the heels, the fabric at the back of her waist on the first image, the batwing like skirt on the second one. It definitely has a unique vibe to it I'll give it that. There's a decent amount of good things here, however i don't know how to feel about THAT short of a skirt on Callie. She was 17 at the beginning of Splatoon 1 and some of the dance moves she does involve moving her legs a lot so.... it would have... you know.... issues.... yeahhhh.... I would love to see this outfit get adapted but with some tweaks like maybe a slightly longer skirt, maybe higher heels and leggings that go up more her legs? Maybe her arm wraps on the left image could get rid of the dots and keep the squid head pattern? It's a pretty good outfit and has a unique feel to it, but it needs some tweaks.

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 2

Rating 6/10

The roller skates are actually such an amazing idea for Callie and work well for her, they need to appear on a 3d model, I WANNA SEE CALLIE SKATING AROUND! COME ON! Anyways, this outfit is kinda... okay. The black and pink variant looks the best out of the three in my opinion but idk man, it's kind of just a regular cheerleading outfit. The roller skates give this like 6 points alone lmao.

Splatoon 1 - Concept Art 3

Rating: 8/10

This outfit with a few minor tweaks could easily become a 10/10 to be honest. If they either went fully black and white, or changed the white lines on the dress and shoulders to magenta it would look outstanding! Love the flashy sneakers too, it gives the impression that Callie can be both elegant and energetic, which, she is. Also if she had a more fancy piece of headgear that matched the fancy looking dress it would help as well.

Splatoon 2 - Hypno / Octo Callie

Rating: 8/10

I'm gonna be honest with y'all, i used to not like this outfit for Callie. People saw this outfit and said it was fire and amazing, however when i saw it, i saw all the misconceptions, all the misinformation, ruining such an interesting arc, boiling it down to "Callie was kidnapped, overpowered and then brainwashed with evil brain warping shades, being used by the Octarians as some slave and being branded with a tattoo." This outfit made me feel icky and really uncomfortable. Seeing a character i love being boiled down to some abused helpless victim when it's far from what truly happened.

However, after giving another look at it, after taking in all the information and the amount of time i spent trying to piece together her arc and all the events that actually took place beforehand. I gotta say, this outfit is growing a place in my heart. The colors are so strong in this and i can't exactly put my finger as to why. Turning the 3 cut pattern on it's side and putting it on her chest makes her look more "mature" i would say as well. And of course, the shades, they are iconic for a reason. The way the outfit sort of flows from top to bottom is really well done. But I think it kinda needs a few tweaks to make it flow better though, maybe cover up her arms with that leathery material on her chest, make that sparkly material on her legs flow up onto her midriff instead of having an exposed tummy would be kinda sick in my opinion.

It's honestly a damn great interpretation of an "Evil Callie." In the artbook they said that they wanted to make Callie more mature looking and i think they did a good job at it, but it needs some things added to it to help it flow better in my opinion. Also... Don't know how to feel about her underwear just poking out of her hips.... Like damn girl PULL UP DEM SHORTS!

Splatoon 2 - Tentakeel Outpost / Agent 1 Outfit

Rating 7/10

This outfit is just really cute and comfy looking, which makes sense because it's meant to be Callie in a more causal getup and it looks really adorable and warm. It has had a variant in Splatoon 1 where she has pink leggings and a sleeveless design but it has the same rating from me to be honest. The little star on the beanie too is awesome too, it's just such a nice little thing they added and it complements her lovely golden eyes.... so cute.... uh... moving on...

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 6/10

This one is kinda tricky for me to rate because i see what they were going for but... I think it needs some tweaks and a few changes. I think it would be cool to see the glowing pinkish red leggings go all over her body like a skin tight suit up to her shoulders and it would look pretty damn sick i feel. I love the long gloves, the heels, the color scheme is very interesting as well. Overall, it's decent but i think it needs some improvements.

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 2

Rating: 8/10

I can totally imagine Callie chilling out in the beach bases in Octo Canyon with this on. I like how the boots and the bikini match her hair too in color. The fuzzy pink coat is so damn sick too, i love it.

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 3

Rating: 2/10

No... Just straight up, no. You're already giving some people weird and icky implications with the final Hypno Callie design, but this just.... no man.... HOWEVER! The swirly eyes? Good addition, a little generic for a character under hypnosis but i wish they kept the swirly eyes. It would have furthered pushed the idea that Callie is not herself and has descended into villainy and given into the darkness in her head. But at least we got mods! (Look at frequent.squidsisters on instagram to see what i'm talking about. You won't regret it.)

Splatoon 2 - Concept Art 4

Rating: 6/10 (sorry for the low quality image i couldn't find a good image of this outfit anywhere)

Just like concept art 1, it's alright, it doesn't help that there isn't a clear enough image of this outfit but, i do love the transparent fabric on her dress? skirt? idk. But it looks nice. Still though the outfit looks a little plain for someone like Callie however it's got a nice color palette.

Splatoon 2 - 1st Anniversary

Rating: 10/10

I don't care what you say, i am the number 1 defender of this outfit, the fucking goofy socks, the blues and reds on her leggings and... bra? Leotard? Is she wearing a leotard under that? (I don't know anything on women's clothing I'm so sorry please don't hurt me....) Her pink lipstick, the necklace, IT'S SO DAMN GOOD! I NEED MORE OF THIS OUTFIT! NOW! I WANT A 3D MODEL TOO! GIVE IT TO ME! NOW!

Also this is the first time Callie has had one of her tentacles in front of her face which comes back later in the next game....

Splatoon 2 - Smash Bros. Splatfest

Rating: 7/10

She do be rocking dem shoes tho i gotta admit. It's good. i don't have much to say. The Smash Bros. earrings fucking rule as well, that's worth 6 points alone.

Splatoon 2 - Squidmas 2019

Rating: 5/10

Eh. It's okay, not really the most "Squidmas" thing you can wear but. The artwork is cute at least. The gang just chilling out, taking a picture, very cute.

Splatoon 2 - Splatoween 2020

Rating: 10/10

The fact that we never got a 3D model of this outfit is a fucking crime in it of itself. The headwear, the web like design on her neck and head, the lipstick, the fingertips, the gothic dress.... those... red eyes.....

She looks so damn hot, I'm sorry but this look is doing things to me that my lawyers are advising me NOT to elaborate on....

Splatoon 2 - Final Fest

Rating 7/10

I decided to break my rule on not covering variants because i really wanted to talk about this look, the gold colors used on this outfit are so damn good and i really cannot describe exactly why, Pearl's crown is such a lovely addition too, i fucking adore it. I can't give this anything higher than a 7 because its just a recolour and a crown and thats it... I really do wish they gave Callie a more unique "chaotic" look to her iconic outfit to match the theme better, but oh well. There's always next time.... which we will get to...

Splatoon 3 - Alterna Outfit

Rating: 10/10

When i tell you that this is my favorite Callie look, ever, do NOT take that lightly.

This outfit, in my personal opinion, is perfection. It combines all the different aspects of Callie's previous major designs into one perfect package. It takes the general shape and silhouette of Splatoon 1 Callie and mixes it with Hypno Callie's leathery and mature appearance, giving us an outfit that shows Callie's class and excitable nature. It's a mature and refined outfit, much like how Callie is in Splatoon 3.

I mean it's hard to fuck up an outfit that's mainly in black and white and thankfully they didn't. The ONLY thing i can somewhat see criticism for is the color choice, but thankfully, we got mods to give her the magenta back and it looks beautiful. I LOVE the silver aspects of the outfit too like the soles of the boots, the silver bandolier across her shoulder and the silver choker. And i like an outfit that has a choker... It does things to me... UM! ANYWAYS! YEAH PERFECT OUTFIT! UH! TOTALLY HAVEN'T TAKEN 100s OF PHOTOS OF HER... YEP! MHM.......

Splatoon 1-3 Pokemon Red Outfit

Rating: 6/10

I decided to put this here because this outfit appears in both Splatoon 1 in Splatfest art as well as in one of the Sunken Scrolls in Splatoon 3. It's a pretty cute outfit, i don't have any strong feelings towards it, it looks nice.

Splatoon 3 - Splatoween

Rating: 9/10

I prefer the other Splatoween outfit that appears in Splatoon 2's artwork but, this is still fucking awesome. She looks like a cute little pumpkin! SHES SO CUTE! The fucking red eyes too oh my GODDDDD!!!! The stitching face paint too!?! Oh man. My ONLY criticism is that the headpiece is too plain. If it was a Jack-o'-lantern or skull or something, it would easily get a 10/10 for sure. But overall, Callie looks like a cute little pumpkin and i wanna eat her up!..............

....not... not in that way tho get your mind out of the gutter-

Splatoon 3 - FrostyFest

Rating: 8/10

A damn great outfit for Callie that makes her look all nice and snuggly. She reminds me a lot of coffee for some reason and just by looking at her I'm craving for a nice cup of coffee. Also the best part of this outfit is that HER NOSE IS RED BECAUSE SHE'S COLD AWWW!! SOMEONE GIVE HER A HOT CHOCOLATE! NOW!

Splatoon 3 - Springfest

Rating: 9/10

This is the most girlypop Callie has ever been. The striped leggings, the eggshell head piece is fucking cute. I don't have any real complaints with this to be honest, maybe its a bit TOO colorful because of the different colored reflections on her body but, that's me REALLY pushing it there. This is such a cute outfit for her. The little face paint too omg....

Splatoon 3 - Summer Nights

Rating: 10/10

You guys know that one image of the monkey staring at the mid section of a woman and it says "neuron activation"? That's literally me. They gave Callie a new outfit that not only looks fantastic with such a great set of colors, shoes, head piece and zippers. But it's also designed to where it makes an outline on the underside of her belly.... nintendo... WHY YOU GOTTA DO THIS TO ME!?!?! I try to be all family friendly and level headed and shit but OH MY GOD! You're activating the primal urges in my body, you're making me go fucking feral with this design. YOU CAN'T JUST DO THIS TO ME! YOU'RE CHEATING! You can't just highlight her fucking fupa with that short dress!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY NINTENDO WHYYY!!!! God I'm not ready for the dances moves where she starts spinning around and bending over- UH....

....Anyways, yeah good outfit, love it. The hair? Idk how to feel yet. That's like the one area that isn't turning me on- I MEAN! THE ONE AREA THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT LIKE! AHAHAHA!!!!!!.....

I'm moving on before my made up lawyers yell at me-

Splatoon 3 - News Anchor Outfit

Rating: 10/10

I mean guys. Come on. What do you want me to say about this outfit? It's Callie in a suit. DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY IT'S SO GOOD?!?! WHY DO YOU THINK EVERY SINGLE SPLATOON ARTIST ON THE PLANET MADE ART OF THIS!??! The only thing that i wanna talk about is, what's below Callie's waist? Is it a pencil skirt or pants? This is important information for me. I'm on teams pants because it makes sense for Callie's energetic personality, all the dresses she's worn have either been real short or loose. I don't think she would wear a real tight skirt that restricts her legs but who knows. NINTENDO YOU BETTER ANSWER THIS OR I SWEAR TO GOD-

Splatoon 3 - Concept Art 1

Rating: 7/10

We don't have a lot to go off when it comes to this concept art as it's pretty undetailed and sketchy looking, but looking at what they were trying to go for and giving Callie a post-apocalyptic look, it looks pretty good. Love the puffy sleeves, the gas mask is pretty awesome and the sort of sporty shorts? tights? Fit Callie as well. Don't have much to say other than that.

Splatoon 3 - Concept Art 2

Rating: 8/10

Now this? This is great. The ragged cape, the pants, the boots, the shirt, the fucking shades! This is an awesome look for her and it makes you wonder what kind of story mode were they originally going for. What kind of plans did they have for ROTM? Was it going to be set in the crater instead of Alterna? Hmm...

I would love to see someone give detail to this and make it a full piece of art to bring out it's full potential.

Splatoon 3 - Grand Festival Outfit.

Rating: 9/10

This outfit to me, is ALMOST perfect. She looks like a pretty princess with that cute dress on. I LOVEEEE her spike headdress, the shoes and the pearlescent hair color. However, i do wish there was just more color on the outfit in general, i get why they decided to go with this look because they wanted to have a color scheme that would unify all of the idols together. But, do wish there was some hints of magenta to break up the dull beige, or her iconic 3 squid stripe design she has on her Squid Sisters outfit, oh well!

So that is it for my ratings of MOST of Callie's different looks that she has had over the past 9 years. Callie is such a fashionable character and has rarely had any BAD outfits aside from one that was in concept art anyways.

Hoped you enjoyed my ratings and ramblings (and mildly horny incriminating talkings...) about this squid lady that i love so... so much... maybe a bit too much.... i need help...