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#he just gets people killed and then he's like its okay bc i didn't kill anyone myself 😁
buddyhollyscurls · 2 days
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Genuinely want to know what the entire point of the higher-ups is in the jjk universe is. Bc it seems to me that their only role is to send high schoolers on dangerous missions without virtually any assistance and zero extra protection, where even the most simple ones can go wrong and these kids might not make it back alive (Haibara). Because why was it Gojo's sole responsibility to kill Geto? Like I get it he's the Strongest but why was it his problem that the people running this world are not prepared for ANY type of emergency??? Like Yaga asks him why he didn't kill him and obviously he knows its because in spite of being the Strongest Gojo is literally 17 and what 17 yo can kill their best friend????? And because apparently Gojo is the only capable person in this entire universe Yaga just goes okay and they let Geto run wild for 10 more years????? Like literally what do the people in charge actually do??????
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mirialan · 1 year
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Damn. Just suffered thru all of OG Trigun bc I wanted to watch the new series. I thought it was a continuation, but turns out it's just the same old story being retold with some changes. I was hoping we'd finally get to see some character development from Vash, but instead we gotta sit thru the same old cowardly Typhoon letting hundreds of people suffer bc he's too puss to kill anyone that deserves it when he gets the chance. Also getting rid of Milley was a major downgrade. Big mistake imo. New Intro song slaps tho.
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mit0bee · 1 year
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Twisted Wonderland boys with an S/O who's afraid of bugs (me too)
Did I literally just post 5 minutes ago? yes. am i posting again? yes. Stuff you should read: Bulleted HC's because i dont feel like writing an essay like i did with floyds tent hc, no beta we die like men, mention of multiple types of bugs Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Malleus Draconia, Trey Clover, Jamil Viper, Vil Schoenheit, Epel Felmier, Sebek Zigvolt, Floyd Leech
(can be read as platonic but i did write it with a romantic relationship in mind)
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
Leona literally came running into the room thinking you had died or smthn, but no. you were screaming, standing on his bed....all over a small cockroach.
Bro actually sighed. like, a super big sigh, one that youd only get from a dissapointed mother while he stomped on the bug.
"Seriously, Herbivore? You took care of multiple overblots, but a single cockroach gets you all worked up?"
hes grinning so hard. youd want to punch him with how hard hes grinning.
all hes thinking is about the amount he can tease you about this
but, yes. he does get rid of the bug.
unless he was sleeping. then he forces asks ruggie to do it nicely.
MALLEUS DRACONIA
implodes the bug.
im not kidding.
he literally goes full on oceangate on that bug and implodes it
you didnt even have time to properly freak out before the bug was wiped off the face of the earth
"tsunotarou what was that sound?"
"nothing light of my life" *hiding bug corpse*
"are you sure bc i thought i saw a bug"
"nope. no bugs here? should we buy some bug repellant to ease your mind?"
".....no its okay."
you knew he somehow killed the bug.
and it only made you love him even more than you already do.
TREY CLOVER
catches the bug for you and lets it outside.
unlike the first two, he tries his best not to kill the bug.
he pulls the "how would you feel if i stomp on you and kill you?"
"if you killed me while i was a bug i'd thank you"
"you'd be dead, [name]."
"....id thank you from the grave."
he just sighs and shakes his head
probably convinces riddle to let him put anti-bug measures around heartslaybul for you (it didnt take much convincing riddle hates bugs too)
JAMIL VIPER
screams with you
probably set ramshackle on fire more than once while visiting you
you both have to call kalim or adeuce to come exterminate the single cockroach on the ground
again, that one tik tok sound where its like
"YOU KILL THE BUG, YOURE THE MAN!"
"SINCE WHEN."
thats a daily interaction between the two of you
if it happened at scarabia, he'd stay at ramshackle for the next month
literally would abandon kalim (or if he really cant be trusted he'd just bring kalim with him to make sure he didn't cause any problems)
VIL SCHOENHIET
screams with you x2
isn't as dramatic as jamil, but he definitely freaks out about it too.
about the bugs? no. about the bug bites.
again, youd have to call someone to save the both of you so you dont pass tf out and die while he gets eaten alive by a fruit fly
wym fruit flies dont bite? you cant be too cautious.
somehow always has bug repellant with him in the warm seasons
hes prepared and will NOT get any bug bites
EPEL FELMIER
zero reaction, or has a positive one.
"what in tarnation do you mean you hate bugs?! they help with fertilizer blah blah blah blah blah blah (i dont know farming stuff)!"
you have to CONVINCE him to get rid of the bugs, but he'll eventually cave and do it just for you
if you ask him to put up anti-insect measures he'd look at you like youre crazy
"[name]. bugs are actually really good for our ecosystem. back at home we always had to take care of the bugs, or else our crops would die."
"shut up. please. ily, but i cant deal with these bugs."
"okay okay okay fine"
will reluctantly set them up
overall a 4/10 for bug measures he will do it just not unless you beg
SEBEK ZIGVOLT
yells.
not in fear, but in anger because how DARE such a miniscule thing try to terrify the people he cares about?!
doesnt explode it like malleus
but strikes it with lightning.
yk his dorm card groovy? thats what hes doing to a little centipede.
expects you to praise him for protecting you
sure, its a given that he would, but he would very much so appreciate your thanks, and maybe a head pat or smthn
give him one.
now.
FLOYD LEECH
like trey, he lets the bug free
sometimes.
other times he kills it and chases you with the corpse
or keeps it alive and chases you with the living bug
if you REALLYYYYYYYYYY dont like bugs, like straight up sobbing, freaking out, then he wont but otherwise? have fun bro
someone has to seperate you two when you see a bug, because he will do something
sometimes if he's feeling generous he wont do anything and you'll be like "tf? what did you do to be so nice?"
"cant i just be generous towards my shrimpy?"
"no."
".....yeah i almost grilled grim thinking he was food."
"you WHAT."
all of this because of a simple bug
oh to be young and in love ----------------------- m.list @mit0ee 's work, please do not steal!
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alexiroflife · 20 days
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fic authors self rec! ♡ when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love ♡
OOO FUN OKAY- I'll do it in order from lowest favorite (5) to top favorite (1) & explain why because i'm extra and i will yap about writing at the drop of a hat
"a bird's song" gojo x reader: literally bc i had that idea in my mind for a while and it hurt me so good to write. i have an emotional connection to this one, and i really loved writing about gojo in more depth here than i have for other fics. i think it helped build onto the angst of the story. i can't give a better explanation other than i fucking love this one
"my duty to you" toji x reader: I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS bro omg i just love the bodyguard x royalty trope, and to fit toji into it as someone with a difficult upbringing combining worlds w/ someone so different from him was just so fun to write about. i also love the development of the relationship in this.
jjk men reactions to sh: this one is especially important to me because it healed a part of me i didn't know i needed to address. it's hard writing about things that you have experienced, but its also so freeing and heartwarming to see how connected we can all become in a space because people feel seen and safe reading. very hard to get through, but so worth it in the end
"tears" sukuna x reader: this one was hard, bc i love my sukuna fics bad, but i think i like this one sm because of how i got to explore sukuna's behavior for it. the way he is still harsh, but tries to manuever himself around it and doesn't know how to handle your tears UGH kills me, and in general i really like writing for sukuna. i think its a fun challenge when it comes to him romantically
"five more minutes" choso x reader: dude, idk what it is (maybe because the college au has a grip on me bc im in college), but i just really like the character of choso i wrote in a modern setting. i also loved writing the awkward tension between him and the ready stemmed by mutual attraction. it's short and simple but i think it's sweet :)
thank you for passing this on!! :)
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bluegarners · 2 years
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getting a tiny bit tired of the adamancy of the new fanony-but-think-its-canon take of dick being the absolutely rage filled robin. like yes, kind of? he was 9, his whole world just ended before his eyes, and his only way to process was through grief and anger bc nobody was taking a child seriously. additionally, the only person who wanted to help him at that time was also a man who was filled with a similar grief and anger and had learned to channel it in a violent way. of course dick grayson as robin resembled something as "angry" or "rage-filled" but that wasn't him too?? like, how to explain it...
the reversal of the fanon trope of dick being the "sunshiny" robin into someone angry and violent and out for blood is not the helpful shift many people think it is when trying to understand dick grayson as a character as a child. so much of fandom is turning characters very flat and not allowing them to experience two things at the same time or in fluctuating variances. which is. counterintuitive when trying to construct a cognitive map about them. having linear lines drawn for a character and keeping them in direct parallel to others, never letting them cross or intermingle, does the opposite of deepening understanding and depth of character.
what a lot of the "hot takes" i see about this very pivotal moment in dick's life focus on the rage as a very ongoing thing. i myself have touched on it a few times in metas and fics, and although i do believe dick's relationship with anger and how he responds to it is important to understanding his character, i do not believe it is a core aspect of it. yes, dick was angry as robin. he was angry bc his parents were taken from him in a very violent way for something that dick had very little understanding of. these are things that are obviously understandable to be angry about. heck, anger would not begin to describe the kind of feeling at having everything you've ever known be stripped away from you by something you had no part in or control over
but anger is not who dick grayson's robin was. his entire character is centered around hope and kindness and giving second chances. his character is about forgiveness and so many people brush over that part when laser focusing on his anger over the man that killed his family. one of the first things dick did as robin was go after and beat his parents' murderer, but he also stopped. he didn't beat that man to the point of killing him and he didn't go after him again once the man was put in prison. that may not seem like such a monumental thing but dick grayson forgave the man who took everything away from him in that simple action of stopping
by pulling him away from his anger, bruce gave dick a second chance at a life beyond that. and in return, dick never forgot that lesson and actively worked on and added to it. he became better because of his anger by practicing kindness, exercising restraint, and learning from his mistakes when things went too far
dick grayson as robin is more than just the violent night he cemented himself as a vigilante by catching his first murderer. his robin is about moving past it and being a symbol of hope for others who are lost in similar ways, showing them that there is a path beyond the grief and rage. that there is hope and light at the end of the long tunnel and it's okay if a little guidance is needed along the way to get there
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brucewaynehater101 · 4 months
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Hello again I have an idea that might–i guess– interest you so here we go :))
I have this idea where Tim has a scythe in his Bō staff and everyone is just confused and concerned because he is starting to look like a grim reaper. Also the weapon + his fighting style is like a character named Arlecchino from genshin impact (if you play it), so he can do some cool poses and when he fights everyone sees that his fighting style look dangerous but elegant as he dances with his scythe while humming a tune which makes any rouges or enemies off guard by his calm demeanor (but they won't lie that Tim looks absolutely stunning with his staff/scythe that has some sort of black magic in it, idk).
Anyway— getting sidetracked, when Tim got asked by the Bats how he got it and he just said "I make this weapon all by myself without anyone helping me, so if you wanted this baby? Make it by yourself" he huffs while turning away with a proud look.
Also I think the JL will have these shocked faces as they look towards batman to gain some answers of how RR has a scythe and he just said "he was bored so he makes it by himself." And just like that every JL member started calling Tim "Reaper", which for Tim is weird and too dark.
But anywaysss, the YJ also have the same exact expression as the JL but they quickly brush it off and let Tim do his "Grim reaper" things. And they also would sometimes brag about their friend, Tim, that they have a cool leader who is graceful, amazing, sometimes annoying, smart— and yadda yadda, bcs who wouldn't want to brag that they have a fuckin Reaper as a Leader.
Idk if Tim actually has powers that actually take people's souls but the imagination is there :33
Ooh!!!! A retractable scythe in his Bō staff?
Okay! I treasure when the Bats have cryptic/eldritch rumors about them that they purposefully feed into.
Tim would make his humming into a warning when he's not actively fighting. For the situations that require it, he would throw his voice around the room as his hum rang out. Some goons, upon hearing the noise and knowing the rumors about the "reaper," would lay down their weapons, put their hands up, and slowly walk away. Whatever they are getting paid is not worth the chance of him taking their soul.
I'm not sure what ideas you had for the timeline of when he added the scythe. One route is that, after he trained with Shiva, Tim quickly stumbles upon this option (particularly if it's an added lesson from Shiva).
Here's what I'm thinking instead:
Red Robin was surrounded by assassins all alone until he befriended three of them. He already was breaking a ton of rules and crossing lines for his cause. Yet, he refrained from any that Bruce wouldn't forgive. There's always another option. Tim can figure out how to save the day without resorting to violence.
Under a blanket of stars as the sand shifted beneath his knees, Tim couldn't help but desire a blade. His staff, while it could be deadly, proved ineffective in his weakened state. There wasn't a way he could defeat his opponent. Tim was doomed to die and drag Pru down with him.
He was lucky to regain consciousness long enough to drag them to help, but Tim didn't like resorting to luck. He utilized plans and contingencies, not the whims of the universe. Life is unpredictable, but Tim could at least pretend he was prepared.
So, with LoA knowledge at his disposal, the teen learned how to sharpen his weapon. Tim crafted a tool that could easily kill. Upon its completion, he felt a small sense of that safety he had lacked since he was fourteen.
As fitting to a person so surrounded by death (his mom, dad, Darla, Bart, Kon, Z, Owens, Bruce), Tim fastened a scythe blade to his Bō staff.
When he returned, Gotham, the JL, and YJ learned of the "reaper." Tim is glad his friends accepted him readily.
Later, when Tim has settled into his new forms and fighting styles, he'll sneak on over to Drake Manor. In a basement filed with tomes, research papers, artifacts, and notes, the teen with etch symbols and words into the metal. It's another tool and hail mary he hopes to never use.
He's learned his lessons about instilling limits for the sake of others.
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 3 months
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Hi. I have a pretty specific request for Kaz x reader. Basically, the reader was a part of the dregs for some time, well acquainted with Kaz, Nina and Inej (and Jesper, though I don't remember when he dropped studies and joined, but like yeah). After some time (2 years?) the reader is sent off to a job that causes them not to run into the main group a lot. For half a year they almost disappear (maybe swindling people in the harbor or watching some other Dregs’ territory). When they return all is good, new scars were definitely made and all, but that's a part of the job. They did mess up their leg though, having the knee crushed by a heavy object. They didn't get to heal it and after half a year its pretty hard to really fix. Unfortunately, they were known for their dancing and athletics as well as hand to hand combat before. That was why thy were seen as a valuable asset in the first place. And in the Dregs it’s not uncommon to overlook or hide injuries. So, though it's clear that something is wrong, they downplay it, afraid of being seen as weak or useless. But they struggle on the daily. I mean, from experience, that kind of an unhealed injury is hard to manage - they don't know how to sleep without pain flaring up bc the usual positions just don't work anymore, they have to relearn walking the stairs in a painless manner, whether changes are number one enemy, riding in anything is a nightmare bc the roads are bumpy, sitting apparently can cause pain too not to even mention walking. And all the fighting and acrobatics aren't as effective. They try to make others forget, trying to dance with Nina and Jes and sparring with Inej as if nothing happened. They want their life and self worth back
Before, they were known for keeping Kaz at a distance, which doesn't change at first. They still bicker, the reader is still distrustful. But I think he would be helpful. Not out of kindness, especially at first, but out of convenience. He can’t have them messing things up and so it starts small with offhand tips. Just enough not to have them get killed. Later, perhaps, they start talking more and the reader isn't sure if Kaz is still just the ruthless asshole they have to work with
To be fair, I don't have much plot. I just have my love for bittersweet stories and my messed up leg to provide inspiration. Also, don't care what you do with the gender, I used they/them to make in neutral but I don't really care. I know this request is long. No pressure if you don't like this scenario
-☆
My apologies for this taking so long. I was just scared that I wasn’t gonna do this justice. I hope it’s at least somewhat close. 🥺😫
Broken dreams
Playing a part was always hard. Fitting different masks. Making sure they didn’t slip. Always a smile. Always a careless, wild girl. But she just died last year. She was beaten. Broken to bits. Tossed aside. Left to die in that ally. To rot. Forgotten. Would anyone have come looking for you? Would have missed you? Grieved you? They killed the innocent girl that day. Left a broken shell of a woman in her way.
“Come on one more”, Nina pulled at your hand breathlessly. You quickly shoot her a smile, pushing the demons running in your mind aside. “We just sat down”, you chuckled while in reality, the idea of being up on your feet was making you want to turn to the side and vomit. “Oh, come on, we used to dance all night long, remember?”, she tossed her head back, downing her drink. “Jasper always steps on my toes, I need you to save me from that”, she cackled. Your eyes followed Jasper who was turning Wylan around. How much has everything changed in the time you were gone? It felt as if you no longer belonged. As if this version of you didn’t belong here anymore. “Are you feeling okay?”, Nina’s worried eyes watched you and you instantly nudged her, “Morning my freedom now that you’ve pretty much left your boyfriend for me”, you teased her. Happy to see her laugh. Off the hook then. “Lead the way”, you urged her. You could dance. Then down half the bottle of painkillers. Snatch one of the absolute bottles from Kaz’s drawer. It would work. You just had to pretend for a bit longer.
The pain was unbearable once you finally excused yourself. Sobbing the whole way back to the den. The agony felt like tongues of flames. No longer just in your legs. All over your body now. You slumped against the door. Letting yourself breathe. Trying to breathe. Only twenty sets of steps. It used to be only. Now it felt like twenty too many. Ot aggravated you. You wanted your body back. Wanted your freedom back. Wanted to be able to do things that others did. You just wanted it all to stop.
“Back early”, the voice makes you halt. Eyes growing big, you wipe your face before turning around, “Been a while since I drank so freely, Nina is also too persuasive”, you shoot a somewhat dazed smile at Kaz, who’s leaning against the the hallway arch. “You used to dance till early morning sun”, his words meet the target in a blind shot. Making your eyes sting once more. “You used to be more quiet. Don’t want to crawl back to your hole?”, it’s bitter. So bitter because he had learned to live with his pain. You were jealous of that. You had hoped that by watching him you would learn some tricks. How to navigate things that were easy once but brought you pain now. You learned to walk down the stairs because of him. Of watching him.
“You’ve changed”, Kaz’s eyes don’t leave you as he speaks. “Rich coming from you”, you let out a chuckle, locking the outside door. “You’re defensive”, he continues to push, “You were never defensive with me. We argued. You tested my patience but you never bit me”, you hear the sound of his cane, then the smooth steps. “Why are you biting me now, YN?”, Kaz asks. “Don’t make everything about yourself, Kaz”, you turned around swiftly, feeling your legs dip slightly beneath your weight. But you bite back the cry of pain, stepping forward. Hoping to escape him. But Kaz’s cane comes in front of you blocking your way.
“You don’t get to walk away”, he grunts, turning his head to you. “I’ll ask this once”, his voice low, lethal, “So take your time to think”. You can feel him. Feel his eyes when he asks, “Who hurt you?”. The anger takes flight within you. Sending traitorous tears falling down your cheeks, “If I have an idea they would be six feet under”. He had played his part. Made you open the throbbing wound up for him to see. “They captured me. Broke my knees. I couldn’t…”, the words tumble freely, as you hide your face in your palms. “Why didn’t you say anything?”, his tone is blank, emotionless.
“What was I supposed to say?”, you crock out in frustration, “I was worthless then. I was of no use”. Kaz clenches his jaw, “So you hide the truth from me?”. You can’t help but growl in frustration, “I did the job you gave me. I got you what you wanted, what else do you want from me for fuck sake”.
And it’s a matter of heartbeats as your back hits the wall, Kaz’s cane now pressed against your chest, “I don’t give a fuck about the job”, he spats, veins visible in his tense neck now. “We could have gotten you a good doctor, could have…”, he grunts, “Did anyone look at the injury at all?”. You look at him for a moment. You could lie but what’s the point? “Some passing by a doctor”, you admit, “Fixed what he was able to, wished me luck, and left”.
Kaz shakes his head as he steps back, “How bad is the pain?”, “You want to bask in it?”, you clip right at him. “I should throw you out. Make you pay for ruining your own body so carelessly”, he hisses, “Legally you are mine. I own you. So your legs are mine to worry about”. You scoff, “How sweet of you, my gods”. Kaz’s gloved hand catches your jaw, the touch starts you both it seems. “I’m mad at you because you should have spoken up. I would have helped you. Would have dropped everything and made my way to you”, Kaz snarls through gritted teeth, “You’re starting physical therapy from tomorrow. That’s an order”, he steps back, pulls at his west. You blink up at him, knowing that you should say something. Anything. He would have come to you. But was it true? “If you ever pull anything like this ever again…”, Kaz doesn’t finish but you know well what his words imply, “I’ll see you in the morning at my office. Think well about the features of people who attacked”.
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mikobeautifulheart · 7 months
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hi!! 💗
i was wondering if you could do a yuji drabble wherein he walks into our dorm and we're just BAWLING and he goes to comfort us thinking it's serious and is like "it's okay.. you're bf is here.." bc he SUCKS as comforting people (LMFAOO) and then after a while when we calm down we tell him (still crying..?) that one of our favorite MALE (heskeske) characters died in an anime and he just gets all dramatic and jealous and then gets gojo-sensei in on the situation 🤭🤭 like a whole AITA 💀
this request is a bit short and not so explanatory, but idc how you write it since it's yuji and i'll read ANYTHING abt yuji. 💋
ASK AND YOU. SHALL. RECIVEEEEE. (Recive it unedited.)
Here we go.
Yuji who sucks at comforting you only to getting jealous over 'guy'
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Yuji knocks on your door, he wanted to drop off some of the books he borrowed from you only to get no response. It was weird because he knew you were in your dorm...
"NOOOOOO" You yelled making Yuji panic
"Y/N ARE YOU OKAY?" He said as he burst open your door only to see you balled up on your bed crying into your pillow while muttering random sentences hysterically.
"He was-HIC- so-HIC-"
"Calm down Y/N are you okay?!" Yuji asked scanning your body for any inguries
"NOO IM NOT" you shouted throwing the pillow in your arms at the T.V infront of you before going back to crying.
"Shhhh calm down what if Nobora hears you?" he said with an awkward look on his face.
You stopped everything and stared at him.
"You monster-" you said before the tears rolled down your cheeks again.
"Do you not care?" you said through tears with your lip quivering.
"Okay, okay, i'm sorry but I can't help you if I don't know wats wrong." he said rubbing circles in your back in an attempt to soothe you.
It was no use because you really started to cry now.
"What's going on? I heard someone crying" Gojo asked sticking his head in the door way of your dorm.
"First he-he, and now Yuji, MY OWN BOYFRIEND DOSEN'T CARE ABOUT ME"
"I DO!" he retaliates
Gojo scans the room laying his eyes on your T.V seeing the end credits of Demon slayer playing. His face went white.
"No- Don't tell me-"
You nodded your head up and down aggressively while sniffing into a tissue
"RENGOKU-SAN" Gojo yelled grabbing the T.V by the screen watching the credits go by.
Yuji finally realized what this was all about.
"Are you kidding me?" He turned to you stiffly.
"Y/N...He's not real, your crying over someone who's not real-"
You and Gojo both froze
"Yuji, clearly you don't understand the gravity of the situation" Gojo starts.
"You see when someone with a pure heart and soul dies, no matter if they are real OR NOT, its a hard loss. Its like if they killed the earth worm man in the first Human worm movie."
Yuji turns his attention back to you
"You didn't even cry this much when I 'died'" Yuji mumbled
"THATS COMPLETLY DIFFERENT!" You said offended that he would even consider bring that up right now.
"YOUR RIGHT, HES NOT REAL AND YOUR CRYING OVER HIS DEATH WHILE I 'DIED' AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN CRY THIS MUCH."
Mean while Gojo laid on your floor muttering the lyrics to the end credit song while crying.
THANKS FOR READING ♡
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AUTHORS NOTE: some of this totally isn't based off a personal experience. Anyways I hope this is close to what you wanted anon. And thanks for your request. reblogs are welcomed btw.
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lycheedr3ams · 1 year
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Death's Angel
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Part 6: Escape
royal!fem!reader x executioner!konig
Summary: It's 1554. You're one of the eight daughters of the Austrian royal family, and your parents do everything they can to ensure their kingdom is prosperous and peaceful. No royal court is complete without their hand-picked executioner, one who stands out against the sea of black, faceless bodies that make up the profession. It just so happens that your family's new executioner, one who has made a name for himself far and wide for his skill with the axe, has caught your eye and ruined you for good.
Warnings: MDNI! smut, mutual pining, forbidden love, death (konig is an executioner duh), mean sisters, mentions of medieval-type violence, overbearing parents, konig is brooding and a perv, some predator/prey dynamics, possessive!konig, maybe dark themes bc reader likes seeing him kill people and bc he's a perv?
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7
IMPORTANT NOTE: the taglist is getting too long for me to manage, so this will be the last post that I will have a taglist for. i appreciate all the support!!! just be sure to check my blog for future updates. if you aren't on the taglist but asked to be here, either i missed you or tumblr won't let me @ you also, we are nearing the end! I think this is gonna have 8 parts. thank you for your support!!!!
.......
series inspired by the art below!
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konig's promise of taking you away at any moment you asked him weighed on you for weeks. the more you grew attached to him, the harder it was to hide your relations with him. you couldn't exactly go on proper dates in his cold, dark room in the castle basement. he couldn't take you on picnics, take you on carriage rides, or anything that any normal couple would do. you weren't a normal couple. you were a princess, and he an executioner. you two were never supposed to even speak with one another.
the one thing, the one romantic thing that you could do in his room, was dance with him. konig didn't know how to dance. he only knew the dance of an axe over the chopping block and how to sharpen its edges with stone. he was hesitant at first, but loved how close to you he could be. he was quite clumsy, and he'd frequently step on your toes every now and then. but each time he did it, you smiled.
"it's okay, konig. you'll get the hang of it," you'd say as you smiled up at him sweetly. he would quietly nod and furrow his brow in concentration as he danced with you.
his hand would be so gently laid on your waist, and his large hand on your shoulder grounded you and kept you in the moment. it didn't matter what mean thing your sisters had said to you, or the fact that you couldn't care less about your provincial duties. when you were with konig, when he was touching you, you were there, and that was all you knew.
but his hood always remained on. you asked him, once, if you could see his face, and all he answered with was a quiet "no" and you never broached the subject again.
...
"konig," you said to him after you two had danced and then made love. truly, made love. it was so soft, and he pressed so many kisses on your neck and boobs and back. konig always grew a little soft after you two danced.
"ja, liebe?" he asked as he gently stroked your hair.
"do...do you think we could...leave, soon?" you whispered as you gently balled up your fist.
his hand stopped in your hair for a moment, but he quickly resumed his gentle caresses. he breathed deeply. "it's as i said. say the word, and we go."
"i...i want to go soon, konig. i don't know where. just far from here."
"how soon?" he asked.
"next week," you said before he could even finish his question. this had been on your mind for so long. konig changed you, the night he asked what you would do if you weren't a princess. you'd been fantasizing about having your own cottage with him, being able to garden and tend to your animals everyday while he was a blacksmith, maybe, or a mercenary. the cathedral ceilings and polished dinner plates of your castle no longer appealed to you.
konig kept caressing your hair. "and how far?"
you gulped. "could we...leave the country? just go to a neighboring one. right near the border."
konig thought for a moment. "ja, we can. i know of a village just beyond the mountains. you will like it. i will build a house for you."
you smiled against his bare chest. "i'll build it with you, konig."
he shook his head gently as he squeezed you. "nein. i will build a house for you, by myself."
"if you insist," you said as you pressed a gentle kiss to his chest. "a house for us, konig. us."
konig was silent for a little while. you were growing worried, but he finally replied. "a house for us, meine Engel. i will build a house for us."
"i've already begun to stow away some of my savings," you whispered as if you feared the stone walls had ears. "we will be set for life."
"do not worry about that, Engel," konig said confidently. "i will take care of you."
"i know you will," you said gently. "but you'll be giving up your profession for me. i want to repay you in anyway that i can."
"there is no need for that," he said quietly as he held you closer. "you are worth more to me than all the riches in the world."
your heart fluttered as you closed your eyes and relaxed against him. your cheeks grew warm and you smiled.
"i love you, konig," you whispered as if it were the most normal thing in the world to say. once you processed what you just said, your eyes shot open, but your face stayed glued to his chest so that he couldn't see. you held your breath.
"and I love you, meine schatz," he said as he gently pressed a kiss to your head through his hood. you looked up at him with gleaming eyes, and he lifted his hood up slightly to kiss you.
you made love again that night. the words that had lingered in silence for so long had finally been spoken. he put you in missionary, focused entirely on your face as he filled you so gently yet so fully. his hard, smooth cock dragged slowly along your slick walls, and you moaned into his mouth as he kissed you.
"i will do anything for you, Engel," he rasped into your ear as he filled you. "i will take care of you."
"konig!" you moaned. you looked up at him, cock-drunk and in love. "i'm yours. i'm yours." a few tears escaped your eyes.
you kissed him again, and your fate with him was sealed.
...
a few days had passed since that night. the day you and konig were planning to run away was quickly approaching. you had packed a few things in a spare backpack, including the trinkets he gave you through the course of your relationship. you hid the gold entitled to you interspersed through socks and underwear in your backpack. you looked out the window of your bedroom out over the castle grounds, and felt resolved. you were ready to leave this life behind, and just be. with konig.
you got dressed in your room as normal, and made your way down to the banquet hall for breakfast. but when you reached the banquet hall, you found three of your sisters shouting to your parents. your other sisters sat as still as statues at the dining table. all heads turned towards you as you stepped in.
"what's going on?" you asked nervously.
"you harlot!" one of your sisters exclaimed. your mother and father looked like they had seen a ghost. you looked around, and the room was spinning.
"you've been sleeping with the executioner!" another sister yelled as she held up a black executioner's hood. that was one of konig's gifts to you, and you thought it would be kept it safe in your bedside table.
"you went in my room!?" you yelled.
"guards! get the executioner at once!" your father yelled. time began to move slowly. your sisters were screaming, the guards' metal armor clinked and clacked as they ran down to search for the executioner, your mother hugged you tightly in fear. but all you could think, the one thing that managed to keep you grounded in the ensuing chaos, was konig.
you thrashed out of your mother's embrace and ran faster than you ever had in your life to find him. the guards could run, but not as fast as you in their armor. you ran to the only place he would be at this time in the morning.
you burst through the castle doors and ran, panting, up to konig, who was sharpening his axe in the blacksmith's hut. he looked up at you happily at first, but his expression changed when he saw the tears flowing from your eyes.
"konig! konig! they know! they know!" you yelled as you panted. konig looked over you and saw half a dozen guards running towards him with swords drawn.
you looked up at him, your eyes wet and puffy, your dress wrinkled and heels broken.
"come," he said as he picked you up in one motion. you yelped, but held onto him as he ran towards the stables. the alarm bell was ringing in the castle as all guards now saw the executioner running off carrying a princess towards the only escape. your siblings and parents watched from the great porch with horrified expressions.
"i'm so sorry konig," you cried into his shoulder as he ran.
"shh, shh," he soothed between breaths. "i told you i would take care of you, didn't i?"
you nodded and gently squeezed him. you finally reached the stables, which had been unattended momentarily during the chase, and konig threw you on top of the biggest horse before putting on its bridle and getting on in front of you. there was no time to put on a saddle.
"hold on, Engel!" he yelled before smacking the reins against the horse's neck. you held onto his hard, tree-like torso as he kicked the horse with his heels, and it shot off through the stables. the guards that had made it to the stable doors were swept back as your horse sprinted through.
you looked behind and saw that there were now three mounted guards following you. "konig!"
he spurred the horse on faster, but the main castle grounds gate was already closed. "hold on, this will be bumpy!" konig yelled. he sharply turned the horse around and you flew over the castle grounds as he guided the horse towards the hidden exit behind the grounds, past the gardens. the guards' horses were fast, but no match for the bestial horse konig had chosen.
you buried your face in his back as the wind whipped by you and the ground rolled under your feet like waves. the alarm bells sounded louder over the grounds as panic rose, echoing against the stone walls of the castle, and screaming could be heard from servants out in the fields as you passed.
your horse jumped over the hedge at the edge of the grounds, the guards far behind, and you fled with konig through uncharted wilderness with nothing but the clothes on your backs.
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taglist: @kneelingshadowsalome, @plumdreadful, @dumb-dumb-idiot-girl, @elichisstuff, @konig-breedme, @tr4psta, @cutiecusp, @konigsleftkidney, @local-vampire-s1ut, @ihaveaproblematicbrain, @twice360noscope, @madzeesstuff, @crazy-phan-girl13, @babygirl-panda19, @warrior-of-justice, @eluffi, @mooniesthings, @elowynnlane, @zaxlrza, @red-bed-bug, @alexdoesntlikeyou, @helmipss, @11aplacesange11, @rouge-swears, @pasta-m1lk, @ghostinvenus
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yurislotusgarden · 8 months
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Hii!! I have a request if thats okay!! :) i love your works btw! Keep up the good work and dont forget to drink, eat and sleep well!<3
So i was thinking of Chuuya, Dazai, Nikolai, and any others if you wanna add with a reader with a ability who can talk, see and hear ghosts! I think its very cool and it barely has any recognition.. Its like toritsuka (from saiki k!) but the reader is less pervy.. and if its okay; can the reader be female? Its okay if its not!! I dont mind!!
So the reader has this ghost ability thing and they used to get bullied and shamed for it because people caught her talking to nothing but she was talking to ghosts, so she became insecure of their ability and sees it more like a curse. So technically a socially akward reader?
If you arent taking requests then you can ignore this!!
Also can i be 💞 anon?
ʚїɞ Separate! Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nikolai Gogol x Gn!Reader
ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!
ʚїɞ word count: 3208
ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way bcs of how I wrote this
ʚїɞ We're gonna ignore how long it has been since I posted, dear 💞 anon I'm so sorry bcs of how long this has been in my inbox ;-;, I decided to wait with writing this until I watched some of saiki k so I could understand the ability at least a little, Nikolai's part is damn short bcs I didn't really have any ideas for him </3, Only Dazai's part was proofread, I'm gonna edit this post later on to correct mistakes on Chuuya's and Nikolai's parts since the person who grammar checks my works is on a short break rn
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ཐིཋྀ He loves it
ཐིཋྀ This idiot didn't even realize that you have an ability at first because you didn't show any kind of signs😭
ཐིཋྀ He thought you didn’t have one like Ranpo but was told by Kunikida that you do, however, what it is was gonna remain a mystery until you decided to tell him yourself
ཐིཋྀ He found out on a mission where you guys had to chase down a guy with the ability to create a smokescreen
ཐིཋྀ Was about to say that it's over for the day because the guy was gone before you two could realize it (He had a plan to get the man anyway but didn’t feel like it) but then saw you talking to… air???
ཐིཋྀ Like you were just standing there while looking up and seemingly talking to someone
ཐིཋྀ You ignored his ass when he asked wtf you were doing
ཐིཋྀ The brunet was confused until you finally turned to look at him and said that you know where the guy went
ཐིཋྀ You had to briefly explain your ability when you  walked to where the guy ran off to
ཐིཋྀ He does anything to make you more open about your ability because he adores it <3
ཐིཋྀ He wishes you showed your ability off more AND HE VOICES IT OUT
ཐིཋྀ Odasaku is his guardian ghost so you told him without thinking about it since most of the time a person doesn't know the ghost protecting them
ཐིཋྀ He actually teared up when he realized you were serious and that Odasaku was watching over him :(
ཐིཋྀ He told you about Oda after that
ཐིཋྀ He randomly asks you if you see a ghost nearby when you two are outside (does it inside buildings too)
ཐིཋྀ He does it a lot
ཐིཋྀ Please hit him
ཐིཋྀ Dazai said that he wanted to kill your past bullies and you didn't believe him -he was serious-
ཐིཋྀ And no, he didn't find dirt on those people, not at all
ཐིཋྀ And he totally didn't use it later, not at all :)
ཐིཋྀ He once asked if you ever used it to cheat in school (let’s say you had a normal enough life like Tanizaki’s or something) and when you said yes he nearly yelled out “That’s my girl!” with a grin Kunikida scolded him for being loud, and for not doing his paperwork
ཐིཋྀ Sometimes he hears you talk without looking over and assumes you’re talking to him before realizing that no, it’s actually to a ghost that’s in the room
ཐིཋྀ Once Kunikida and he had a mission but the brunet was not getting up from the couch, so you walked up and after a few seconds you told him that there was a ghost, butt naked, right by his face
ཐིཋྀ He did not look up to see if you were lying or telling the truth, he just jumped up from that couch without a second thought before he was gone out the door. He only realized that you lied once they were back and you were laughing at him with Ranpo
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Seiji thought he had everything planned out. He really was sure that there was no way to find him after he ran away from the two detectives. After all, who would search for a running thief in the damn sewers when there were so many better places that could’ve been used to hide in the area?
The plan was in fact a good one, in fact. Kuwahara made it look like he was going towards the warehouses nearby to camp out, while in reality, he came down to the sewers using the ladders, as there was one of the many entrances underground right behind a warehouse.
He was so sure that he wouldn’t be found, that he wasn’t seen, so pray tell, why was he standing face to face with the exact two people he was meant to avoid. The atmosphere wasn’t nice, it was cold, and the smell was even worse, Seiji was trying heavily not to let it show on his face since the two people that were after him seemed to be completely unaffected by the environment they were in. What he couldn’t hide instead, was distress. He did not plan on getting caught any time soon, and yet it looks like he’s 8 seconds away from being behind bars.
“How- How did you guys find me?!”
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This was not what Dazai meant when he said that he would show you how useful your ability can be (you refused more against it being useful than anything else he said about it, so that’s what he settled for), but it kind of worked so he wasn’t complaining.
“How- How did you guys find me?!”
Kuwahara Seiji, a 25-year-old thief that uses his ability to make himself invisible for all of his plans, making it hard for the police to identify him.
“It was kind of easy, actually!~”
“You’re talking as if you had any part in finding him.”
Dazai really didn’t. Once the criminal ran away after throwing a smoke bomb on the ground, (The brunet has to give it to him, It was annoying as hell and many people would give up on going after him once the smoke settled down) the two of you had no idea which direction he went off to, as there was a few possible exits from the warehouse you first caught him in.
His solution? Asking you to question a ghost nearby if they saw the man. You were really skeptical about that, he could tell.  What he also noticed was how confused you were about his question. You didn’t understand why he would want that, at least at first. It was soon after that you realized he meant.
You can see invisible things, ghosts can see other invisible individuals as well, rendering Kuwahara’s ability useless when it comes to you chasing him down.
He realized that little advantage of yours some time back while lazing around on his favorite agency couch.
Your ghost acquaintances can be quite the helpers when it comes to investigating stuff. He heard from Kenji, that not too long ago, you had solved a case that was meant to take around a week, in a day, simply because it just so happened that a ghost was on the crime scene when it happened. You had an easy time getting clues and proving the words of the ghost to the police with their help.
He knows that a few times like those won’t stop you from being so negative about your ability, he’s aware of the impact your bullies had on you mentally even if you try to not show it, but all of those instances give you a step forward to seeing what Dazai and the others do.
“Oh c’mon ‘donna! I was the one who gave you the idea of asking someone!”
“We would be able to track him down anyway. Asking someone just made it faster.”
Catching him in the end was not hard at all. Kuwahara tried to sneak away using his ability once again, but you could still see him without him realizing it. You could see where he was walking off to, making it possible for Dazai to nullify the guy's ability and catch him before leading him to the police vehicle near the warehouse you guys were under.
“See? I told you your ability is really useful and fun!”
“Where do you see the fun in my predicament?” He could tell you were just done with him for the day, besides being confused.
“I mean, you’re almost never alone, right? You always have someone to talk to!~” He knows it’s annoying to see ghosts all the time without the option to just… not be able to do that.
A sigh came from you before answering, “Exactly, complete silence for me is a rare blessing.” in an exhausted tone.
“I would love to never be in complete silence.” He wished that you could have some sort of an on-and-off switch.
“Samu… That’s because your voices would be quiet-” “I do NOT have voices, bella!”
“Sure, continue being in Egypt.”
“What-”
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ཐིཋྀ Thinks it's very cool actually
ཐིཋྀ Imma put you down as a florist in this one, or just some small/calm kind of job
ཐིཋྀ When he first met you, he didn’t think about whether you have an ability or not since it wasn’t his business in the slightest
ཐིཋྀ Let’s say that you’re a florist and the ginger came in to buy flowers for Kouyou for example. It just so happened that one of the ghosts hanging around in your workplace was feeling silly, and had been pranking the customers the whole day, Chuuya being no exception
ཐིཋྀ When you were at the back getting the bouquet he ordered the day before, his hat was randomly taken off of his head and was floating in the air
ཐིཋྀ Bro was so confused because he knew his ability was off at the moment
ཐིཋྀ Every time he got the hat back onto his head it just floated back up😭
ཐིཋྀ The menace of a ghost stopped only once you got back out of the backroom and scolded them
ཐིཋྀ Chuuya was confused because ‘Who the fuck were you talking to???’
ཐིཋྀ He asked that exact question and even though you were visibly hesitant and nervous, you still explained your ability since he already saw it anyway
ཐིཋྀ You did not get the reaction you expected, which was being made fun of as that was what you were used to, but he instead complimented it <3
ཐིཋྀ Make sure you don’t let a name slip when it comes to your past bullies because you will see them on the news, missing :)
ཐིཋྀ On one of your first dates/early stages of dating, he gave you Marigolds which you lightly laughed at, causing him confusion before you explained their meaning to him
ཐིཋྀ Yeah, he settled for mostly giving you Cyclamens, Blackthorns, and Bluebells alongside your favorite flowers after that, just for fun
ཐིཋྀ Going with the florist thing or just generally, he would help you around with his ability if there’s something heavier to move around 
ཐིཋྀ He would voice out how often he actually wants to see you, albeit embarrassed, but he will show it in lil gestures a lot more <3
ཐིཋྀ I can just imagine him putting his hat on your head and sliding it down over your eyes before giving you a peck on the lips as a goodbye if he was at your workplace and he had to suddenly go
ཐིཋྀ He would try to slowly get you to not be so insecure about your ability
ཐིཋྀ I feel like one of The Flags would be his guardian ghost which could actually make this man cry at the thought :(
ཐིཋྀ Alright but if you met a past bully of yours, or someone newer,  that would try to shit on you for your ability, just tell him, and he will beat them up happily <3
ཐིཋྀ Or just go and have a nice talk with them about their behavior if you don’t want him to beat them up, I can promise that they will never again be rude to you if they value their lives (Or you will see them on the news or hear about them being in the hospital if they don’t ^-^)
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“Are you sure that you don’t have work right now?”
“Yes, so shut your pretty mouth up and show what else you need to be moved.”
Renovation. A simple small renovation of your small shop was all that you planned. Moving some of the furniture, and changing the place of a few products for easier finding. You had thought that it would take a few days to take care of it since you planned on doing a few things every day so as to not close up the shop for a whole day unnecessarily (and you didn’t feel like doing everything in one day).
The problem was, he was supposedly not meant to know about that. Chuuya found your graphic open on your laptop and saw the renovation plans before realizing that you didn’t speak a word about that. At first, he was confused. Why didn’t you tell him? He could certainly make it faster by helping you.
Yet soon after that, he realized why. You didn’t want him to know because you knew that he would help and, therefore not do his work, something you were always worried about when he stopped by your shop. Well, he was never one not to help you, especially when there’s such an occasion. he wants a thank you kiss besides being a gentleman, your honor
“Is it really that hard to focus on your job instead of helping me move the furniture?” You sighed, pointing to a bookcase and then pointing to a place where a table stood before. “You’re gonna get in trouble.”
“I’m not, besides- HEY!” Looking up, his hat could be seen slowly floating away. He ignored you stifling a laugh as he chased after the hat. Chuuya would ignore it and just continue on with moving your stuff around, but the last time he did that, the hat was later found in a pot, making him have to wash it as it had a lot of soil on it. (A lot of his subordinates wondered why he didn’t have his hat on the next day, he didn't explain it to anyone)
“Can you tell them to stop?!” He could only guess how funny the situation looked to you. To anyone else, it just looked like the ginger was chasing after a floating hat, but you could see the menace that was taking the object away, so it ended up being funnier to you, if you nearly laughing was anything to go by.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, dear.”
“You’re so mean!”
You hummed softly before answering, “I would prefer to be called entertained.”
“It has nothing to do with what I said, doll.” Was said by Chuuya just as he finally got hold of his hat. Even if the ghost was still holding onto it, at least the hat wasn’t continuously floating away toward the flower-bare pots with just soil in them again.
“Let them have some fun in a while, Chuu, they don’t do it too often.”
“Yeah, and it just so happens that they decide to have their little fun almost every time that I come here.”
“They love you.”
“I wish they didn’t.” 
“It’s better than if they disliked you.”
“Why?”
“There’s a customer that they don’t like for being rude to me,” The ginger frowned at that information but you continued on, “And they are rude back to him every time he comes by my shop.”
“What do they do?”
“Y’know, pull on his clothes and hair, steal his things, and make them completely dirty on purpose, make him think he heard or saw something and that kind of stuff. Pretty sure they stole some of his money from the guy’s wallet.”
Chuuya was quiet for a moment before speaking up. “I think I prefer my hat being occasionally stolen…”
“Exactly!” You shouldn’t smile like that after what you said, but he’s not gonna comment on that one.
“...So the bookcase is the next to be moved, isn't it?
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ཐིཋྀ He fr felt betrayed that he didn't know immediately 
ཐིཋྀ Like he could know you for 5 minutes and be offended that your ability wasn’t one of the first things you said about yourself
ཐིཋྀ He finds it so fascinating that you can contact the dead so easily
ཐིཋྀ Don’t tell him who his guardian ghost is, no matter how much he asks
ཐིཋྀ Just hit him every time he asks, I promise it works to keep him from asking for the next 3 hours <3
ཐིཋྀ You can bet that he talks to Fyodor and Sigma about your ability (He asked you to tell Sigma that there’s multiple ghosts watching him all the time, he believed. Sigma did not sleep for the next 5 days at all because of that thought)
ཐིཋྀ You said it to him again because at some point there was a ghost actually following him, but Sigma didn’t want to believe it
ཐིཋྀ He’s gonna ask a million times for you to join him in pranks if you won’t agree the first time
ཐིཋྀ Just imagine telling someone a ghost-related thing that they can’t prove is not true
ཐིཋྀ You caused someone to be in hospital after they didn’t sleep for way too long
ཐིཋྀ You told Fyodor that there’s a ghost hanging around him all the time, but didn’t say whether it’s the guardian one or some random one, you just left the rat to ponder on which one you mean (Nikolai died when he found out)💀
///////////////////////////
“WAIT! What do you mean there’s some ghost stalking me?!” Nikolai could tell that Sigma didn't expect to be told something like that today, but again, who would?
“I didn’t say stalking, I said following you around as they seem to be interested in you.” Why did you smile so innocently at that? He doesn’t know but he does encourage you since it gets more reactions from the bi-colored-haired man.
“It doesn’t make it better?!”
“I think it does! Some ghosty is interested in our little Sigma!” He had to add something to the fire, what kind of a person would he be if he didn’t?
“Don’t call me that, Nikolai!” 
“But whyyyy?” It was Thursday, the day that the white-haired clown dubbed ‘the best day to prank Sigma!’, even though he says it every week. He also deemed himself lucky as you finally agreed to help him prank the younger man again after rejecting him multiple times.
“Because I’m not little! And I won’t believe you guys again.”
“I don’t agree,” You spoke up, “Even the ghost agrees that you’re small!”
“See Sigma? We even have your beloved ghost on our side!”
“That’s no ‘my’ ghost, and I don’t believe that they said it. [Name] could be lying for all I know!”
“But do you have any way of proving that it’s a lie?” Nikolai couldn’t wait until he took the bait.
“...”
“Exactly!” You grinned before speaking up again a moment later, “They actually have a cute nickname for you that I’m thinking of using now…”
“Should I be scared?” Nikolai regrets not getting you into the pranks earlier, after all, the younger one had no way to prove you wrong. Sigma looks genuinely frightened that it may be real this time.
“No… It’s really a cute nickname that the ghost calls you by because they didn’t know your name when they first started following you around.”
“Stalking.”
“No.”
“I wanna know it! Tell us, dove!” Was it a nickname he could use himself? Or were you lying about it being a cute one and instead it’s weird? He doesn’t know which option he would like more. If he was being honest, Nikolai was feeling like you were telling the truth and not lying again like the last time.
“Cotton.”
“Cotton? Where did that come from?”
“That’s adorable! Let’s call him that!”
“I think that’s a perfect idea, Niko!”
“No!”
Nikolai can already tell that he’s gonna have a lot of fun with that nickname in his vocabulary now.
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨ Taglist ୧⋆ ˚。⋆
@sukiischaotic
Marigolds - Often called “flowers of the dead”, are symbols of positive emotions, like joy and excitement. They also represent energy, good luck, warmth, creativity, prosperity, passion purity, divinity, and the connection between life and death. These flowers' fragrance is said to attract souls to the altar.
Cyclamen - symbolizes the eternal cycle of life, which makes it the perfect flower that means 'forever'. In Japan, cyclamen holds a special place as the holy flower of love, causing it to be a popular choice for Valentine's Day
Blackthorn - Fate, protection, hope against adversity, good fortune, strength, overcoming adversity, purification, and protection
Bluebell - Loyalty, constancy, humility, gratitude and everlasting love
Keep in mind that flower meanings may somewhat be different depending on what site you look at, so excuse me if anything in the meanings is wrong! (hopefully not)
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readingwiththestars · 2 months
Text
₊˚⊹♡ THE GRANDEST GAME
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["Riddles are for people who enjoy playing,” .... “Do you consider yourself playful, Mr. Hawthorne?”]
| ✮ 4 stars |
THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [!!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!] this is very long guys sorry
ok so *cracks knuckles* lets talk about tgg
!!warning i'm finishing this like four days after i read tgg so i might've forgotten things because reading until 2am and remembering what i read is apparently a hard thing for me to do!!
first of all.... JLB, you and i need to have a chat because that ending was not okay. you literally just left us with no answers. seriously. what the hell????? and while i wanna kick my feet and scream because we got two kisses and then you had to go ahead and ruin it in the span of two or three pages and give us that shitty ending.
i would like to point out one question i had through out the book, which was why was grayson playing? what was the point of that???? like seriously was there an actual need for him to play or was it just jameson, avery, xander and nash fucking with him? whatever it was it didn't make sense and just felt like jlb was trying to shove lyra and grayson into forced proximity so they could interact.
speaking of thatttt i love graysonlyra and rohansav (more thoughts on sav later) the banter the looks the touches the everything i love it sm omg AND AVERYJAMESON!!!!!!! THE CRUMBS WE WERE GETTING MADE ME SO HAPPY OMG!!! I CAN DIE HAPPY!!
i will say i feel jlb really did pull out all the stops for this book the different levels of everyone's connection and knowledge of how to solve the riddles/puzzles (i was literally CLUELESS) like how does one make all that connect. the level of detail was insane connecting books and characters together just weaving some kind of intricate web of characters.
and at first i did feel like the game felt really short but i think that was just my 2am dumbass brain forgetting this is only the first part of the game lol. i did kinda hope there would be more like running around and trying to solve things on the actual island not stuck in a house though but who knows whats happening in the next book soooo
it did get very confusing there with calla (who is fucking INSANE BY THE WAY!!! SHE TORTURED KNOX??? WTF????) and the whole calla lily thing with lyra and odette was confusing af. so its like calla (the person) has a connection with knox and brady and then a calla lily has a connection with odette and lyra (also kinda gray cause he knows abt it i guess)
and and and and im a die hard gigislate shipper (and brady daniels hater) so im praying that we get an enemies to lovers with gigi and slater where he's forced to be mean/hate or wtv because of *gags* eve and then its like oop no im breaking you out of here idc what eve thinks because i only care abt you. ESPCIALLY because gigi was talking abt how no ones ever looked at her the way jameson looks at avery throughout the book (SOMEBODY HIRE ME FR)
OK THATS ENOUGH RAMBLING ITS TIME TO FOR THE CHARACTERS
CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
lyra - ok i love her. she was such a good strong character it was so much fun to read about her interactions (with grayson 😏) she was actual so wife material but idk why i felt like i wasnt allll that into her character too much like i love her but didn't really feel connected with her?? idk she was a very good fmc to read about tho!! but i do wanna know about miles end and her whole connection with her dead dad (who btw is an ass who tf kills themself in front of a FOUR YEAR OLD???) and whoever's stalking here (honestly i had a whole ass thing thinking its ALL PROBABLY EVE LIKE SHE WOULDA DONE THAT MUCH RESEARCH OR SOMETHING or maybe eve was js there for gigi) but now i think it might've been something to do with alice. who knows honestly
gigi - this is my time to shineeeeee. if gigi has zero fans i am dead (and slater bc im delusional like that) i love gigi so much omg. she's my no 1 girl i love her. my girl just needs someone to love her fr she talks through out the book about how she wants to be looked at with so much love (she thought it was brady BUT NO EW) i loved reading from her perspective abt how she just wanted to prove that she was good enough to be in the game AND SHE IS!!! im still bitter about her getting kicked out of the game - AND IM NOT EVEN GONNA TOUCH ON THE WHOLE KIDNAPPING AT THE END (GIGISLATE ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHEN????)
rohan - marry me. thats it. honestly just marry me. u need to work on ur nicknames tho- it was super interesting to read about his way of think and the whole labyrinth thingy lol. there wasn't too much more about his backstory tho WHICH IM SO INVESTED IN FR. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIS FIRST MEMORY IS DROWNING????
savannah - girboss fr. she could step on me and i'd say thank you. its really interesting to me how (obviously) she's been manipulated by eve and it'll be super interesting to see how jlb will play out her whole revenge plan. she's extremely driven which is admirable and a good characters (she's literally like a female grayson imo - which also reminds me of that one scene where she goes "i am grayson hawthornes sister" which made me smile so big fr)
there are so many characters oml
knox - ok so my buddy boy knox. broski, brozilla, broville, brother from another mother, u need a hug? i didn't really like him in the beginning tbh he was a moody lil girl working through his issues. but after a while when he warmed to gigi it was nice to see the softer side to him (which tbh wasnt for very long until oop trauma dumpppp) but seriously oml knox baby the scar???? imma find calla fr (jlb cant write new characters also why complicate the shit out of everything and have a calla lily be relevant to lyra and also have calla be a person???) i did like how sweet/soft he was with gigi when she fell though that warmed my heart.
odette - iconic grandma shit tbh. she was third wheeling the entire time and at some points actually seemed like she was shipping them but then two seconds later she was warning them? saying no? idk the whole 'seizure' thing seems faker than eve's lies. and the fact she instantly gave brady the watch after gigi said no. like um what about knox? idk if thats js my brady hate coming through here though so yeah idk if i trust her or not (bet everyone is working for eve except for gigi, lyra and rohan)
grayson - marry me. love me. choose me. pls. i'd do ANYTHING. my simping for this man aside. IT WAS SO GODDAMN REFRESHING TO SEE A HEALING GRAYSON. like yes. it made me so happy to see him admit he was wrong but also know that its okay to be wrong skdjhaasd. this is so short because i love him and cant write proper thoughts about him fr.
brady - *cracks even more knuckles* brady daniels....... you know i've always wanted to know what it'd be like to write a hate paragraph. i guess im finding out now. i hate him. literally. i have unbridled hate for this man - who by the way still shocks me that he's only 20 he acts like he saw the fucking first world war. its one of the reasons i never liked him like he sooo took advantage of gigi's smartness and kindness like HE DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING during the game gigi carried the entire team and when she refused to take odette's watch and then him instantly taking it. ICKKKK don't even mention how he lied abt his mom like dude just admit it you knew you were fucking cooked in that fight and the only way you could win was by lying. AND WHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE BOMBSHELL ABOUT HOW (i cant remember his name but the dude who raised knox, calla and brady) died??? and then being a little shit and dropping gigi's heart. like we get it u dumbass man child u think you're clever cause u can speak so many languages and read even more but NO. i was onto you, i never trusted your crusty old man ass. like he even touched gigi without her permission (on the stomach) which so gross to me, the dogshit under my shoe can do better than you brady. seriously. i hate him. i'm the leader and founder of the I HATE BRADY DANIELS CLUB. so thats at least something to sate my anger. help this got so long 😭
QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [i'm putting like two because this already wayyyyy to long for anyone to actually bother reading.]
"you will come back to me, or i will make you come back to me." - grayson
"Beside Avery, Jameson was looking at her like she was the sun and the moon and the stars and eternity, all rolled into one." - gigi
"give me your eyes sweetheart." - grayson
if you're here at the end of this *APPLAUSE* i commend you on getting through that kilometre of my shit thoughts. have a piece of cake 🍰
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king--atlas · 7 months
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Okay, what if ahit but its a DnD type fantasy adventure? It starts with just hat kid and bow kid on a mission to defeat the evil overlord (Vanessa), but they end up forming a silly ragtag adventuring party with people they meet on the way. (Please click for better quality)
Character details I've come up with so far under cut, and also me sounding like a little nerd with dnd classes and stuff.
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I haven't decided on any location or character names yet so :P
Hat Kid- She's a wannabe elf warlock and Bow Kid's best friend (they'll probably get names, probably). She doesn't have an arcane focus in the beginning, but she ends up finding and using an umbrella later on. She's very energetic and determined (a little too much at times) and actually manages to become Snatcher's best friend. Bow Kid- She's a human beast master ranger with either a cat or a crow as a companion (idk which one yet). She's a lot calmer than Hat Kid but still gets really excited when she sees a cute creature (even if it is literally trying to kill her.) Cooking Cat- She's a silly kitty cleric (either light or peace domain) from Mafia Town. She's a ray of sunshine and definitely the mom of the group. Snatcher- He's a circle of wildfire druid (bc silly) who, until the kids came and found him, hadn't left his forest in over a century. He was stuck there in wild shape (silly ghost form. Don't ask what creature it is or why he chose to be able to wild shape into it bc i have no clue) because of Vanessa. She tried to turn him into a tiefling like her but it did not go as planned. Clearly. He's still that dark kind of goofy he is in game but just a little bit nicer. Not by much, though. Vanessa- She's a tiefling shadow magic sorcerer who has control over the entire continent. While her outburst (I'll think about more details of it later) effected Subcon the most, it had minor effects all over. She presents herself in her more humanoid form with an overly sweet personality, but the second she's ticked off ditches the facade and becomes her horrid, more demon-like self. She's less of a direct threat until they reach her domain. Empress and the receptionist are also going to join the gang, but I didn't know what classes to make them or what to do with their designs soooooo..... yeah. (To be fair, the other's designs will also probably change bc I made them in like five minutes).
If you have any ideas (especially for Empress and Receptionist) or questions, tell me!
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princesssmars · 1 year
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Hiiii! If you don’t mind could you please do a Sam carpenter x fem/gn!reader, where the reader is just like completely overstimulated and someone from the friend group does something that just makes the reader like get super upset and makes them walk away and sam is kinda confused and goes to asks the reader and comforts them and stuff? If not then that’s okay!
trust me
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a sam carpenter x reader
wc : 1533
cw : fluff. angst. reader is stressed. conflict caused by mindy but its justified so don't think i don't love her! italic bit thats readers thoughts. ethan slander fuck that little worm. (f/t) means fave takeout!
an : couldnt think of a title nahh 💀but thank you for the request im happy to do it! i hope you like this even if it might be a bit rushed bc i wanna help add to the sam tag since im obsessed with her rn.
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when you first moved to new york city it was a whirlwind. new people, new things to see, great food. granted when you got off of your first subway ride a rat tried to fight you over the grinder you had in your hand, but you still loved it.
but of course, everything didn't stay sunshine and rainbows for long. the big apple was expensive, and finding a job that fit your schedule and was able to pay your side of the rent was tough. but you managed. kind of.
your roommate and close friend convinced you to see a therapist she had heard about from a friend, and you decided it couldn't hurt to try. the guy was helpful if a bit annoying, but it was worth it when you saw her coming out of her session. now NYC was filled with a plethora of hot people, but you swear when she made eye contact with you and gave you a polite smile you felt your brain melting.
you saw her a few more times before you introduced yourself. she seemed wary but told you about herself as well, telling you her name was sam and that she had moved to new york not long ago as well with her sister for college. she seemed nervous, but you were a stranger so you chalked it off as anxiety.
you asked her for her number and did a small mental celebration when she said yes, deciding to text her the next afternoon to not seem too desperate.
luckily your efforts paid off! she was a bit distant the first few times you talked, but after inviting her out for lunch at some new restaurant in brooklyn she warmed up to you quickly, even enough to introduce you to her sister and her friends.
it was only after a few weeks of knowing her that you found out what happened in woodsboro. you had an inkling that something bad had happened, the way sam was hesitant with phsyical affection, the caution they all took when locking their doors and carrying mace and tasers with them to get groceries. when sam had let you in to what happened with ghostface - her ex - and how he had almost killed all of them. you had let her know it didn't make tou think of her any differently, that you still cared about her and her past wouldn't change that. that moment had led to the first kiss between the two of you.
and you had meant what you said to sam, that you would stick beside her no matter what. but it still took a toll on you, that danger was following you and the people you had grown to care about no magter what.
the one thing you didn't expect was for them to expect the danger could be you.
it was supposed to be a normal friday night at sam's apartment, spent talking to each other and her friends and maybe watching a movie with some takeout after her appointment. nice and simple.
the door opens and you turn to see if it's sam, smiling when tara, chad, mindy and anika walked through the door. chad's roommate. ethan, wasn't with them this time and you let out a small sigh of relief. he seemed nerdy enough
"hey guys, everything alright?" you asked the group, noticing the down and wary looks on their faces. tara mumbled something before quickly walking into her room, chad hot on her heels. anika rested on the couch next to yours with a sigh, mindy sitting next to her and farther away from you. a bit odd, but you chalked it up to all of them being tired from school.
"something happened over at fordham. some girl from blackmore was found almost butchered in an alley." anika wrings hers hands together, a nervous habit she told you she picked up as a kid.
"jesus christ, do they have any clue who might have done it?" you ask.
"oh please, how many freaks do you you think like to nearly carve out peoples chest?" mindy scoffed, busying herself with something on her phone.
"you don't think it's ghostface, do you?" your voice was wavering against your will. after sam had told you what happened you did some digging into the masked killer, and its safe to say you were on edge until it eventually showed its face again.
she shrugged. "we all knew they were gonna find us again eventually. nows just a matter of determining who it is." she looked at you, and you felt the strain behind your eyes at how far they widened.
"i hope you're not saying what i think you're saying..."
"dont take it too personally, y/n. she accused me and ethan too." anika waved your worries off, and even though her normally peaceful personality would calm anyone down, it wasn't really working right now.
"i'm just saying, you're also new to the friend group, coincidentally moved here a while before us and had the same therapist as sam? and then started dating her? it's suspicious." mindy lists off the reasons she suspects you, and with each item you feel your chest tighten.
is this really what they think of me? a threat? does sam think of me like this? does she not trust me? does she not love me?
you don't register the sound of mindy's voice or the sound of the front door opening before you hurry from the couch to the bedroom near the back of the apartment - sam's room.
you sit on the edge of the bed and put your head in your hands, trying to calm the racing negative thoughts in your head. it feels like hours when its probably been a few minutes of you failing to calm yourself down when the door opens slowly and a weight sits down on the bed next to you.
"is it ok if i touch you?" sam ask from next to you, making sure to keep a good distance so as not to overwhelm you. when you nod and whisper out a yes she moves to sit behind your body, wrapping her arms around you and allowing you to fall back and rest on her chest.
"do you wanna tell me what's going on? it's alright if you dont, i'll still be right here."
her soft tone makes you squint your eyes hard, scared that she's trying to get you to let your guard down. but there's a little voice in your head that trusts her more than anything. that desperately wants to let her in. so you do.
"it's just...mindy was talking about ghostface and she was questioning me. i know that you've all been through so much but...if they can't, if you don't trust me then i don't know what i would do."
sam doesn't interrupt while you speak, fully paying attention to your words as you let her know what's bothering you. you're just about to walk back your statement because of her silence when she softly turns your body to sit sideways in her lap, bringing her hand up to cup your face and turn it so you can't look anywhere but her eyes.
"hey, i want you to listen to me, ok? you know mindy. she's just looking out for us, she didn't mean to antagonize you im sure of it. if anything i'm pretty sure if ghostface comes back she's more likely to suspect ethan right away, the kid weirds her out," she says, unable to help herself from smiling when you giggle at her words.
"but more importantly you know me. you know i'd never have anyone around me, my sister or our friends if i didn't trust them, yeah? i trust you and i love you, more than anything."
you cant help but tear up and smile at her words. sam wasn't one for frequent words of affection, so you knew when she said something she meant it. she lets out a small grunt when you throw yourself into a hug in her arms, tackling the both of you onto the bed in a heap of giggles. you spend the next few minutes laughing and sharing small i love you's and sweet kisses.
after you've both calmed down sam asks if you're ready to head into the living room, squeezing your hand when you give a strained little nod. walking together back to the living room, your face lights up at the smell of your favorite takeout, rushing to the couch to see everyone munching down on some food.
mindy turns her head around to see you and purses her lips awkwardly. "uh, i was hungry so i ordered some (f/t). there's enough for the both of you."
"she's trying to apologize for calling you ghostface." tara butts in while taking another bite of her food, ignoring when mindy slaps her on the leg.
"aww, it's alright cheeks. i understand." you tease the brunette with the silly nickname you gave her a few weeks ago, reaching over to squish her cheeks together like a kid. she sticks her tounge out at you but doesn't move to stop you, figuring she'll let you have this.
"yeah yeah whatever, sit down and eat your food."
you sit on sams' lap on the squished couch, ignoring the kissing noises and fake gagging sounds of your friends. in this moment, nothing anyone says can get to you.
.
.
.
i believe in the lost art of ending the fic with a cheesy bit. happy pride gaybos.
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vitzi9 · 7 months
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Pretty gifts
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Joker X GN!Reader
TW/CW: reader is androgynous, murders, talking about kys, work in catering (it needs its own warning), reader curses a lot, mention of vomit, stalker, reader throws up, racism, Gotham is hell and fuck capitalism, blood, violence
tbh i'm a little sad bc nobody ever give their opinion on my works. I put another divider (like the red heart below) in the middle of the story, not really to separate as it's following directly but bc some people find my stories too long so it's like a checkpoint. So when you leave, you know where you were. (It's really long)
also the end is a little weird bc I have no idea if this fandom is still alive so, yeah :) if people are reading, I might continue it. Thing is some ppl find this Joker ugly so...
I hope you'll enjoy this. (19/02/2024) (17k)
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You weren't weird by any mean, okay ? Life in Gotham is just really hard. You got harassed, robbed and assaulted more times than you can count. And each time by a new profile type ! Old, young or teen, it doesn't matter, everyone is desperate.
Some of your colleagues at work are prostituting themselves and you for sure considerate selling feet pictures.
That's how life is in Gotham.
But weird ? You stare at the angry man before you, unimpressed. You can't believe he called you weird as well as an incestuous result. You're neither of these. Fuck, how is weird and incestuous his first thought when insulting someone ? Like, he could've called you a fucker, a bitch... Anything !
Your aggressor, if you can even call him that after this, shows you his middle finger while walking background. Quickly though, he loses his balance and fall on the ground. Well, at least he didn't beat you up !
You already got assaulted for your money, which you don't even have, you got two jobs and barely reach the minimal wage. But at the end of the day they, well, stole the few you have, you know ? When you think about it, he strongly smelled like alcohol. That's probably why he failed his attempt.
Even stealing is death here. You never know who you're facing. Hell, just yesterday a guy was killed because he tried to assault some big chief of a mob. Someone with a clown face. TV says the man's limbs were still not all found.
Shit, getting killed by a clown must be mad humiliating too.
You sigh, trying to ease your tired traits by passing your hand on your face. At least the day is over, right ? Another day closer to death. You drag your suddenly much more heavier body on some few meters/yards more, silently praying that no one else will bother you.
Thankfully, your cries were heard. Pushing the old creaking door of the building, you rush to the mailbox. Never have you been comfortable staying long here. The door is only behind you and you don't know if someone is able to enter with bad intention.
Speaking of the devil...
No mail except for this weird card yet again. It's cardboard displaying a drawing of a joker, withdrawn from a poker package. It's certainly not the first time someone pull this kind of joke on you. Though, you have no idea who this is and it creeps you out a little. You turn the card to see if a message was left and sadly, (or not) you were right.
You've been trying to understand who this was for a long time now but in a big city like yours, with god knows who or what ? It's just impossible.
As always, you hate to think this because you don't want this creepy card to become part of your habit, a messy handwriting greets you in black ink.
"I'm everywhere in this city, no one can touch me yet some are fond of me."
You stopped school kind of early so your IQ is probably not high enough for you to understand that. Plus, you don't fucking want to.
You grab the card with you in order to throw it once at home and rush to the stairs (some says someone got killed in the elevator plus it's not working since months so you're not taking it anymore). Finally home. Your hallway still smells like piss and a deadly cold reign here (Nobody knows why). Two of the four bulb of the ceiling has burnt out and a faint static noise is resonating in the whole property.
This building is not even in a neighborhood that bad. But in Gotham, not that bad is still bad. Because bad is sleeping to the sound of gunshot and broken windows. While here, there's still these but not as often as in bad neighborhood. But you can add the moans hearable in the night in it as well.
Your building is really old though, which explains (partially) the bad state it's in.
Taking out the key off your pocket, you start to unlock the door. Unconsciously, your mind goes back to the card of the day. "I'm everywhere"... What's everywhere? There's air. But they specified 'in this city' so air might be too simple.
No one can touch me yet some are fond of me.
You can't touch air and you're not sure people are fond of it particularly. Like, air's fine. It's cool as fuck but are you fond of it ? No. Then what is it ?
You didn't even realize you were looking at the card again, your door wide open while standing in the middle of the hallway ridiculously. Slapping yourself mentally for being so careless, you enter and close the door and all your locks shut.
Some are fond of me, huh ?
In Gotham, what are people even fond of ? Misfortune you'd say. These fuckers love to see others suffer and even make sure they do by engaging in others people life.
But you don't know if that's really the answer. Damn, can't they just give you simple question? Or even better: stop giving you any ?
You drop your bag on the floor, slouching your shoulders and throwing yourself on the couch. Fuck, you hate your life. Why are you even here? You don't deserve this life. Nobody does !
Haphazardly moving your hand, you end up successfully grabbing the remote. You need to empty your mind, or have a background noise at least.
The screen lights up displaying you the newest information girl. The last man disappeared after he made the mistake of letting show his politic side. It's obvious everyone is corrupted here but the mystery in this story is ; who erased him ? It could be mob, politics themselves, everyone.
This city is lost.
The woman is talking about the incessant inflation and how numerous factories and business saw themselves forced to close for good. You just hope your business won't shut down, you need money. What if it does close, though ? You were already sweating trying to live with two jobs, but what if you end up jobless ?
It'll be impossible for you to pay anything. To keep your apartment. To eat. What are you supposed to do if this happens ? You already thought about that and all of your long reflection session always end up on one conclusion: kill yourself.
Because there's no way you're living without job in Gotham while being in the streets. You would have left the city if you had money or even family out there but it's not the case. So yeah, killing yourself that is.
Sure it looks a little extreme but isn't earth overpopulated anyway ?
It's better than being killed. At least, you choose your death ! But you're gonna hope this still won't happen. Up to now, your job is yours so taking such drastic measures won't be necessary. And you hope it'll stay this way.
Damn, you're depressed again. You drown out your worries by hiding your face in your couch's pillow. Man, what capitalism is doing to one.
You switch the channel without looking where your fingers pressed, this time a man is talking. He's saying something about a criminal and quoting every one of his crime. It was going crescendo, at first robbery, assault and burglary but just next to all of that was terrorism and mass murder.
You want to turn your head and watch the profile of this man but are too weak to move. So you simply listen closely to the man voice to get answers.
"Yes, he's a dangerous criminal and he's in town. He already break free from Arkham asylum twice now. If one of you see this man; do not engage, hide and call the police immediately. He is incredibly unstable and may not be alone. If you think you can win against him, you're wrong. He's a manipulative man and a mastermind. If you're seen by him, you better start to pray. Ends the man on a serious tone. Man, this guy knows how to reassure people...
-Indeed, a true monster. But please do not scare our audience. Batman was able to capture him twice, we'll be fine. The man chuckles but does not sound really honest. To answer all the questions you've been a lot to send us, we'll have the pleasure of meeting mister Harvey Dent here, chief of the police department to answer your worries. Harvey Dent ?"
And the voice switched to the other man. You like Harvey Dent. You like to think he's the only man in Gotham who's not corrupted. He's helping the citizens. Unlike that Wayne man. This guy could single-handedly resolve the poverty problem, but does he do it ? Of course not. He's rich after all, why should he care for bum like you ?
Harvey Dent is talking but you're not listening. All you know is that he's trying to ease the population. The men on TV are always saying the same things: empty promises. How the police is already taking care of the problem, that it'll be better soon. Like the police isn't already too fucking busy harassing the wrong people.
Harvey Dent is your last hope. The only man who can change things.
You deeply hope his promises aren't as empty as the other man before him. You turn off the TV and relax in the silence of your flat for a moment, breathing in the perfume impregnated in your couch.
There's screams outside. You can't tell if it's the neighbors or someone outside. Either way, you stand up feeling your eyelids getting heavier by each passing second.
But before leaving to your room, you stop in front of your window and stare outside for a moment. It's nighttime now. The city won't go to sleep, oh no, it's just waking up. The police can already be heard in the distance with its loud sirens. This city really is chaotic. It's just everywhere, you can't escape it. Touching it isn't even possible, you can't grasp it, nor resolve it completely; it's in the air. You can't fight against it. Nobody fights against it.
Fuck, it's like they're fond of it, here.
Chaos, it's scary when you think about it. Because you can't guess what's going to happen. There was a time when you thought that anarchists could be right but if anarchy looks like this, you don't want it anymore. You just want some peace and respect. But it seems too much to ask for Gotham.
You fucking hate chaos.
The next morning, your limbs were so sore you almost didn't make it on time to work. Your boss reprimanded you about your delay, pressuring you by recalling you the time one of your colleagues got fired for it. You were only late of something like one or two minutes but it didn't matter to him.
He only wanted to feel superior. He didn't even need real reasons to yell at you.
The restaurant wasn't packed. Only the usual rich families wanting to spend a pleasant day. They were here to eat breakfast. You try not to think too much about the fact that one single of their jewelry is equal to your salary.
The streets were alive; people running, cars honking. Your colleague hitting your shoulder to bring you back to earth, everything is normal.
"You think you can ask Mike to make another one ? she asks you with a sweet voice. The kid threw a tantrum. It's not salted enough and he hates sausages.
You lift up your eyes towards the crying kid in the back. Cold eyes stuck to his face. You're sure he specifically asked for sausage. You're the one who wrote down his order. And the salt ? Can't he just fucking put some himself?
-Don't question it. They're regulars. Plus, I don't think having beef with a kid is good for our reputation." Tells you your friend after seeing the death look you were giving him.
So you take the plate that looked absolutely perfect and delectable to bring it to Mike. Mike is an old man once passionate about cooking. Now he's forty three and stuck cooking eggs and toast to some crying kids.
"No fucking sausage and more salt please. you say, throwing the plate on the counter in a loud clatter. The man laughs at your anger and don't even need to ask to understand. 'Got it boss !' is your answer.
You lay your weight on the counter, back meeting the freezing temperature of it. Different smells invade your senses; fresh bread, warm oil and eggs. Well, lot of different smells were here as well but they're the one that really stuck out to you.
"You were late this morning right ? Did the client touched their plate ? You can eat it otherwise, it looks fine.
-Because it is, it was made by the best cook of Gotham after all.
The man laughs, mimicking someone blushing by putting his hands on his cheeks. He tells you that you're lying and that you're saying that to flatter him only. Mike had buzzed his hair a few months ago but they were back already; small rough curls mocking him.
You sigh and look back at the plate, it did look really fine. The kid hadn't even touched it ! The eggs and the bread were intact, left in the same state it was neatly put in earlier.
You spend your sweet time talking with Mike before your boss comes in infuriated, ordering you to come back at the front. And you're forced to do so. Grabbing a water jug on your way and putting on a fake smile, you walk towards a new family sitting so straight your back hurts just looking at them.
All of them laid down their menu and are waiting. You arrive, apologizing for the wait. 'Have you decided ?' you ask while putting the water on the table. The man takes the menu and start listing his orders without a smile nor even a look in your direction. The woman is busy keeping her children calm and asking them to calm down. The other tables are side-eyeing her while the husband doesn't even acknowledge his wife.
"Noted, you smile and turn your head to stare at the woman for her to start ordering.
She smiles awkwardly, and tells you her kids orders before ordering for herself. You thank them, "I'll be right back." and you leave to the kitchen. You sigh, scotch the orders on the wall, grabs the plate left for you to take and head back to the crying kid from earlier. The demon who ordered fucking sausage before saying he hated them.
But as soon as you place the plate before him with a smile, the kid slams his fists on the table resulting in his glass of water to splash on you and break on the floor. The mother gasps while the dad gives a slap in his son's head without even you registering the whole situation. Your clothes are completely soaked, you want to say something but his mother is sending daggers at you with her eyes and you know not to mess with this stupid fucking family.
Did he did it on purpose ? Yes. Are you gonna say something ? No.
"It's okay, I love children." you don't.
And you leave. Deeply humiliated. But you can't do anything. Because you're no one compared to them, they're gonna win. Always. Your friend asks if you're okay, you shrug. She's unable to question you further as she has to continue working. You head to the back in search of a broom.
The small closet is all the way behind the kitchen and you're already tired just thinking about it. Once you're in, you frenetically search for your item only for a shelf to fall apart behind you and destroy itself on the ground. You bite your lower lip with all your strength to retain you from crying and cursing the whole world.
It's okay, it's just a shelf. It's okay, you try to think but it's hard when it's not even noon and too much shit already happened to you.
You crouch down and start gathering everything you can when your eyes falls upon another one of these poker card. You frown and take it in your hands, examining it deeply. Uh, wow, okay. It's a little weird. You just happen to receive these daily in your mailbox and suddenly there's one here. Okay, totally normal.
You stand up, looking around you for an answer, trying to see if a camera is here somewhere. But nothing. So you turn the card to read the new message: You need one to live, I often rip it apart and yours is mine to steal. A heart ? you immediately think. You definitely need one to live and the sentence 'steal your heart' is kinda famous. But rip it apart ? Is it, like, a metaphor ? Glancing back quickly, you notice a small note left in the bottom right corner of the card. It reads: what a shitty shelf.
You laugh nervously, your breath getting stuck in your throat. What the actual fuck ? it's not even funny, what the hell ? Sorry for the fucking shelf ? They knew this was going to happen ? You definitely have to talk to someone.
You pass your hand on your face, rubbing it strongly as if to wake you up from a bad dream. Then you take the broom and head back.
Rushing to the kitchen, you accidentally pushes someone in your haste. You see Mike from afar and don't even need to approach him that you yell your question for everyone to hear:
"Mike, do you happen to play poker ?" the man faces you, his confused expression told it all, he didn't. And from the other's cook faces, they probably all thought that you were crazy. None of them looking guilty. But you'll investigate that later.
Not wasting any seconds, you almost run to the main room to find your friend. Luckily for you, she's cleaning glasses at the bar.
"Hey, is it yours ?" you're a little out of breath when showing her the joker card. Your friend simply shakes her head. When you asked her if she knew if one of your colleagues was playing poker, she shrugged and told you she didn't know with an apologetic smile.
"Why ? she asks.
-It's complicated." you say.
It can't be from the same person, right ? If it is anyway, that probably means one of your colleagues is the one putting these at your place. Which is a terrifying idea because you sure never gave your address to anyone here. Trying to see the bright side of it all, that means that you may know your 'joker'. And if that's the case, there's a way for you to stop them. It's better than the cards coming from a total stranger, because you can't act against them. You'll probably leave some clues at work to see and trap your joker.
The rest of the day was terribly hard. You were dying from the inside. Your tummy was growling like a beast; you did not have the time to eat. As you're juggling between two jobs, your boss thought that he had to exploit you as much as he could before you left. Because you're joining the bar, your second working place, at two pm.
"You're gonna leave in the middle of the day, when most people are coming. I'm losing money here, you see ?" he had said to you that day. Yeah, he does not give you any breaks because to him, you don't need one as you leave earlier. Of course you tried to negotiate and he was agreeing with you, on the condition that he pays you less.
"Mike, I'm leaving. you tell him, taking off your apron. Have a nice day, say hi to your kids for me." he smiles warmly to you, wave and you're out of the room in a quarter of seconds. You already bid goodbye to your friend so all you had to do now was to leave.
Putting on your jacket, your thoughts can't stop but think back about this other card you found. Yours is mine to steal. In what sense ? You could've thought it was some creepy flirting but it's just too much. You found these at home, at work. Everywhere. Are they going to rip your heart apart, too ? Are these threats ?
Hopping in the bus, you try to stay away from Gotham's crackhead as much as possible but it's hard when they're drunk and staring at you like they want to beat the shit out of you.
Fortunately, your stop arrives and you hurry to get out. It's 2:36 PM (14:36), the bar is not open yet but cleaning and organizing everything is part of your contract.
It's at five pm (17h) that you open the bar, standing behind your counter and waiting patiently for clients to arrive. You're happy Sean is here. He's a big man of 2m3 (~6'8), practices combat sport and knows how to handle different weapons. In a neighborhood like this, you're more than grateful to have him.
He's also the son of the owner. So it's really just the two of you here. The first persons starts entering the place and it quickly fills up entirely. It's quite a famous area, cops never comes here as mobs are doing their own laws. Sean puts on some background music you can't even hear anymore over the loud voices of the men laughing cavernously.
You're busy serving people's drinks. Moving as fast as you could but it being hard when your thoughts are plagued by cards and your mind is not here. Who's this joker man ?
The street lamp are all finally on, meaning it was past seven already. You didn't even see time pass, the incessant flirting and bickering of the men here enough to keep you from being alone with your thoughts.
"Thanks baby." says a young man when you give him his beer. He has a really bad scar going from his forehead to his lower lip. It's no surprise, you saw men with less limbs, other talking unknowns languages, some with sight or hearing completely lost. Sometimes normal people like you would come, women even but more rarely as the men here were true animals.
You wonder what type of people there is with you tonight. You're not naive enough to think all of them are innocent, in fact, you're sure 85% of your client here are criminals. This bar is situated apart from the city, in a corner more secluded with abandoned looking buildings and scary dark alleys you certainly don't want to visit at night, or even at day for that matter.
This place sucks.
Honestly, with your cards problem, you even considered engaging a spy to see who put these creepy notes in your mailbox. But two things prevented you to do so; first, you do not want to do business with criminals, second; there was a chance that your joker was one of your client.
Some of your clients here probably have mental illness as well, worsening their state. And maybe someone fixated on you and decided to follow you home. It'd be really awkward to engage a man to scare your joker away, only for him to be the same person you're trying to avoid.
But now this idea starts to disappear. You found a card at work after all, your boss is not stupid enough to let anyone break in. So the criminal track wasn't the one. It's one of your colleagues. There's just no way one of the bar's client could have followed you home and at the restaurant.
But on the other hand, it's difficult to see one of your colleagues following you home too. Because after working at the restaurant, you're not heading home right away. You're working here. Is it possible they waited outside until you finished ?
"A whisky for me." is what tears you away from your misery.
You do not look up, instead turning your back to him and reaching the shelves to search for the bottle. You grab a glass, throwing ice cubes in it and pouring the harsh liquid in. You then slide it to him, he nods and drink a first long gulp.
You follow his arm to his face before blocking on it. It's a man with a skin so pale it's getting worrying. His eye bag are terribly dark that you thought he had put black eye-shadow on them. And for a second, you truly thought it was the case. He had really bad scars going from each corner of his lips up to his cheeks, like a badly drawn smile. In the small crevices of his scarred skin, there was faint white and red paint, or make-up that did not left during shower. Is he like, a mime or a clown ? He looks like he haven't showered for a while, no judgements or anything, but his green hair are greasy.
He continues to savor his drink quietly while you're here, astonished by such weird scars. You saw scars, a lot of them. But they all looked accidental, caused by self defense or anything. But his clearly looked volunteer. You could clearly see that the goal was to create some sick form of smile, whether it is successful or not. What the hell happened to this guy ? Has he been tortured ? Did he make these to himself ?
'You got some nasty scars' you want to say. But the wicked grin he gives you is enough to make you gulp and smile awkwardly. Of course he saw you looking at him, you did not move an inch/millimeters. And he does not look like the type of guy to be nice.
"D'you like them ?
-Sorry ? you blinked.
-My scars. Do you like them ?
-Uh, yeah, yeah.
Fucking creepy. What the hell ? What did he do to have those ? Why is he even asking you this ? Why is he looking at you like that ?
-Do you want to know how I got them ?
-No." you answer at the mere second he ended his question, by pure fear he was going to destroy you. Or try to recreate those scars on you. Hey, you never know.
The man grins and chuckles at the quickness of your answer and stops talking for a while. Did you just escape death ? You think so.
He stopped drinking, though. You try to look busy but you're just organizing and disorganizing things on loop. Sean is having the time of his life chatting with the clients towards the tables area. But you, you're stuck behind the counter. You can't even count the times you got your ass slapped or got whistled. Plus, some of these guys often try to threaten you with knifes to make you give them free drinks.
It could've work if Sean wasn't here.
But it's comical in a sense. The morning, you're busy being the little dog, the little slave of these stuck rich people crying when their plate arrives one minute late, with prices on the menu so high it's clearly a scam for some eggs and bacon. With a ground so perfectly clean you could lick it.
And at night, you're here. Surrounded by criminals, drunkards and God knows who. With bad music taste rumbling in the background and place so dirty you could throw up and not even see it through the trash lingering on the ground. Well, in your defense, because you're the one cleaning, it was clean before. But everyone arrives with their disgusting shoes or bleeding and then they spill their drinks, and they fight and, yeah. At the end of the day, this place is a mess.
Your back is still facing the mime guy but you know he's staring at you. You know it because you can't stop shuddering. Your works are sure keeping you in touch with reality at least, you've seen both extreme.
"What's your name ?" You face him, afraid to offend this weirdo.
Telling him your name out of all the people ? Never. Smiling the best you can, you tell him your coworker name from the restaurant. He grins like a Cheshire cat, his smile accentuated by his prominent scars, nodding. You know better than to ask him back his name, he's probably, surely, a criminal. You don't have a death wish at the moment. You usually don't like to lie but this job at the bar taught you better.
-You know, he starts again and you pray he does not start to harass you with questions, he licks his lower lip before continuing. There's one thing I truly hate in this world. He pauses. You wanna know what ?
-Tell me. You say reluctantly, not wanting to anger him.
He lays one of his elbows on the counter, raising a brow and looking around him as if going to tell you a secret he wants no one else but you to know. Then, he looks at you again, a mysterious glint in his eyes.
-Liars.
Oh.
-They're such... he squints his eyes, moving his hand in the air to the flow of his thoughts. Vicious, little bitch, you know ? If we want to change things, he licks his lips, they're the first people that have to go. Don't you think ?
-Yes, I'm with you on that. you hurry to answer, nodding frenetically, feeling your blood run cold and a sweat cross your spine. Myself I really can't stand lying, you know ? Liars are really bad, they're manipulative and all. you were just trying to save your ass at this point. You received a lot of threats in your life, but this man right here ? There was something deeply wrong with him. He was fucking traumatizing you. You did not want to mess with him.
The only thing plaguing your thoughts is; does he know ? Does he know you lied about your name ? Because he specifically asked this question right after you presented yourself. Does he know ? No, no he doesn't. How is he supposed to know you ? You don't even have any name tag on.
The man chuckles deeply before you, licking very briefly his lips again; is that a tic ?
-What's his name ? he asks, looking straight to Sean, as if judging his soul. Does he have to stare at people like he wants to kill them all the time ?
Now you understand. He scared the shit out of you to ensure you wouldn't be lying to him. And now he's testing you. Why, you don't know. But you answer honestly this time. He smiles mischievously. Maybe that wasn't even his plan, maybe he's just deeply weird and unsettling. Maybe he doesn't even know you ever lied to him. Maybe you see things where there's none.
If there's one thing Gotham has taught you, it's to be wary of everyone.
-Are you fucking him ? he asks again, still looking at Sean laughing with the others.
-Why ? this thought never even crossed your mind before. Why would you fuck Sean ? He's nice, he's good looking but, you don't know, you wouldn't fuck him. You just, don't want to ? He's a friend.
-He's quite the tall guy. Are you fucking him ? he insists, ignoring completely your question.
Wow, that is getting incredibly uncomfortable and personal. You know you're supposed to entertain them and all but damn, this guy is killing you. You throw a glance in Sean's direction, hoping to catch his attention so he could help you but he's busy laughing with other clients.
-Why're looking at him ? I'm the one talking.
-I don't think this is appropriate, Sir. It's quite the personal questions you're asking me here. you laugh nervously, hoping to relax the mood but the man before you doesn't even react. Can I maybe offer you another drink ? It'll help...
-You got something to hide ? he licks his lips.
What. The. Fuck.
-I have to stay mysterious in order for you to come back, right ? you do not want this weirdo to come back, but that's the default sentence you usually say to avoid answering intimate questions.
But the make-up man does not insist, he gives you a cheeky grin.
-You want me to come back ? How flattering.
Most of the time, what you implies when saying this is that you want them to come back to consume more, so you have more money because you're kinda the bartender of this place. But this guy just plainly wants to fuck you up. Where's Sean when you need him the most ?
It's like no one around you is seeing you. They're all drinking their sadness, trauma, day away, not caring that a creepy guy is keeping you in his weird conversation you clearly do not want to participate in.
-Do you want to play a game with me ?
-I'm... Quite busy, actually. So...
But he knows you, now. He knows you're a bad little liar. Listening to you is now optional to him; he clearly doesn't care. The man stands up and you start to get scared. What is he going to do ? Is he going to hurt you ? Your hand is holding firmly the bat under the counter, fingers shaking with adrenaline. You never used a weapon before, less against someone. You never hurt someone, intentionally at least.
Sean, move your ass over here, now.
The man grins, eyes trailing your arms. He knows you're hiding something under this counter, but can he blame you ? You're surrounded by criminals, he's one himself ! It's impossible to know what to expect. Honestly, you're ready to scream to get attention and get helped. Even if there's high possibilities for a general fighting to start resulting in this poor bar to be destroyed.
But the man does not try to hurt you, he smiles, put his hands in his pocket and you now realize how well he's dressed for someone like him. A nice and well maintained purple suit.
"It makes me live and follow you at dark, keeps me up at night and makes you fall apart."
No...
-Who am I ?" He ends slowly, torturing you.
Your shoulders slouched down, tension leaving your hand on the bat. Your body become a big, useless puddle. Eyes as big as owl ones.
"I-I don't want to play. Your stutter had gave away your uneasy feeling, you step back, eyeing this man from head to toe.
You've come to despise those damn riddles. You don't want to hear more of them.
-But this one's so simple sweetheart. He mocks you. It starts with a pretty little O and ends with a N. I'm sure you'll find out.
You shake your head slowly; no, it's not simple, no, you don't want to find out, no, you don't fucking want to listen to him. But he simply chuckles, relatively amused by such a big reaction. Well, with that kind of huge revelation, you can't quite control yourself.
He's rummaging through his pocket, heart almost leaving you. What is he searching for ? A weapon ? What is he thinking ? But against all odds, the joker man takes out something so small you can't even see it behind his palm. You know he's doing it on purpose, hiding it from you to destroy you more, to see the look of surprise, fear or shock, or... Whatever, on your face.
-That's my business card, as a little... Reminder." You deeply doubt someone like him own any business, less business card. So what is he going to give you ?
He lays gently his hand on the counter right before you, not letting you see what he was hiding until he removed completely his hand, confirming your theory of him hiding it on purpose. You'd recognize them anytime. Your heart is beating faster, so fast you're scared it might explode. Nothing is written on the side you're staring at, you grab the cardboard, praying that it's just a crazy coincidence even if the drawing of the joker smiling stupidly on the card is taunting you.
But when you turn the card, the answer is given to you. For the first time since you've started to receive these.
-Obsession." you sigh, breath getting stuck in your throat. You were petrified. "You're... You're the joker man." you say in a shaky voice. Was it finally him ? Answers, you needed answers. But when you looked up, the man had disappeared. Leaving you with nothing but deep fear.
Silent tears slide on your cheeks, you bring your hand to your mouth in order to hide your muffles. Looking back at the card, you feel your legs give up under you when your real name is written in bold black letters in a bottom corner. Bile is rushing to your throat.
It's him. He's the one sending you these.
But you don't know him. You don't fucking know this man. And he's a criminal. You're fucked. Smiling like a madman, you start to laugh nervously, not realizing the situation. It's a joke, right ? You cough, progressively choking on your saliva. You bite your lower lip so hard it starts bleeding. You pray, you pray so hard this man isn't your stalker but you're lying to yourself. It's literally the worst case scenario that could happen.
You've never seen this man in your entire fucking life. Where does he even come from ? Why you ? Why him ? With his fucking creepy scars and fucking riddles. He knows your address ! Your name ! What else does he know ?
"You okay there ?" You nod without even looking at the person talking to you. You choke out a quick answer before rushing to the back towards the private toilet.
Immediately collapsing to the ground, you throw up everything you had in you, which wasn't a lot to begin with. You barely even ate anything. But you can't stop. You empty yourself, only vomiting water.
Sean finally comes get you, he rubs your back and help you get up. "What happened ?" He asks you.
"I don't fucking know." Is the only thing you can muster.
What you do know however, is that you're scared to go home.
"Are you heading home tonight ?" You ask him, voice hoarse. "Well, yeah" is his answer. So you asked him, begged him to come with you. Because you were horrified by the mere idea of going home alone. Maybe he would be here.
"You can come to mine if ya want." he offers. And you think that the guy from yesterday probably was right, you were weird. Why aren't you going to the cops, after all ? Probably because they'll think you're lying, that you're insane. A joker ? Harassing you with riddles ? You'll end up in a asylum in no time.
But wouldn't you be safer in a asylum ?
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When Sean and you closed the bar, it was already well past one am. You didn't had the strength to redo this all over again tomorrow. But Sean was of good company, cheering you up and trying to ease your mind. Multiples times he tried to ask what was wrong, but he guessed it alone. "Was it that weird customer in purple ? The one with the suit ? I saw him lingering a really long time at the counter." You shrugged when he said that, completely worn out. What could he even do against him anyway ? The Joker man wasn't known to any of you. It was a lost cause.
Chatting with your friends wasn't even crossing your mind, you were terrified. The long walk to his apartment was as quiet as a church. What the fuck were you going to do now ? You were dead, yes, you were just dead at this point. What can you even do against some psycho following you around ? Fight back ? Yeah, if you have a death wish. You have to get out of this city, there's no other plan. But how ? And to go where ?
"We're here." says Sean. You've never been to his apartment's before, and to be honest, you would have preferred for it to happen in other circumstances. Trying to escape a criminal wasn't in this year plan.
Before you stood a tumbledown grey building, not much different from yours in reality. After all, Sean's not that rich, he's payed like you and live with his dad's payment. Though, you're pleasantly surprised to see the coziness of his place.
Warm lights were turned on, his sofa looked quite mellow and the general smell of the apartment was lovely. Not that you're judging him, but you wouldn't have thought he was such a clean guy. Because he's like, well, some kind of mafia man. So, yeah, he often smells like sweat and dirt himself, it's a surprise his place is so neat. Sure, it's damaged by humidity then and there, there's cracks in the walls but so do yours. The paint is peeling in some areas as well, you're used to it enough to not notice it. You take off your shoes, but keep your jacket. Probably in search of a safe feeling, maybe by fear of being vulnerable.
"You can sit on the couch, I'll order something.
You don't even have the will to eat right now, the ugly feeling everything entering your body might be threw back out instantly bothering you too much. However, you did sit on the couch. It smelt like him; you hated it. You were violating his property, his intimacy. You shouldn't be here.
But do you really have a choice ?
Sean is talking in the background, on the phone, yet, not a single word is understood by you. It's like he's speaking a whole new language. The red flowers on his TV stand keeps reminding you of the joker's card and his damn hat.
He hung up, that you heard, and left for another room. You hate to bother him, he probably only wanted to go home and sleep after a hard day but you messed up his plans. Grabbing the remote, you turn on the TV to empty your mind. You search for series, documentary or cartoons, only to be disappointed at the sight of obnoxious ads.
You end up watching the news, it being the sole channel not drowned in ads. A woman is speaking in a professional neutral voice, wearing a white shirt. She talks about the inflation killing our country before going onto her next subject; the outgrowing insecurity. The two preoccupation of the government, or at least, what they want you all to think about.
From what she says, a hold-up happened in a bank yesterday, in plain sight. (Why do they talk about it now, you don't now.) The building stank laughing gas. Only one man declares having seen the main suspect. Her chair slides to the side, leaving space for the video to appear and for the victim to testify; "Green disgusting hair and some fucked up clown make-up. That's the only thing I saw. He has no value, I'm telling you, criminals used to believe in things ! He has no respect for anyone, he killed his own team ! He's gonna come back for me, I'm sure of..." and he's erased from the screen at his outburst, for everyone to forget his trauma.
Did he say clown ?
"Indeed, the woman vigorously resumes, a faint smile on, was she laughing at the victim ? green hair and clown make-up is on brand today as everyone only talks about this mysterious criminal. After disappearing for months, the troublemaker is back in town and seems unstoppable. But has he truly ever gone away ?
It's not the same man, right ? No, no of course not. If he's a famous criminal, he has better things to do than harass insignificant useless civilians like you with stupid riddles. He robbed a bank ! Why would he even look in your direction? Fuck, what if he thinks you have some kind information? What if he think you're related to a criminal ? What if you are ?
-He calls himself Joker, always wears his clown make up and has a habit of wandering at night." The woman straightens her posture and clasps her hands together. "After yesterday's fiasco, the famous criminal already perpetrated his next attack. Earlier, at noon, the biggest hospital of the city was targeted. Cops were able to evacuate everyone urgently. Gotham is in shamble, people are afraid and angry. The police is trying to calm the crowds, in vain." Images are shown behind her of people running, yelling, stretchers evacuating and flashing cops car during her speech.
She continues talking but you stopped listening when finally a picture of the Joker was displayed on the screen, his face horrifyingly reminding you something. Too many information are going to your brain in so little time. You try to rationalize everything but it's hard when your mind is too tired to cooperate.
He's called the Joker. And you happen to receive joker cards. He wears make up. The man at the bar looked like he did. Hyperventilating is the only thing seemingly still possible from your body. You stand up, inking, sinking, learning, engraving his face to memory.
Two big scars, both going from each corner of his mouth to his cheeks.
Like a badly drawn smile.
"Sean !" you call. Your friend runs out of the bathroom, disheveled, shirt loose and no pants, only in underwear. He rushed out, scared something had happened. Your shaking pointer aim at the TV screen, at the face of the man on it. "It's him. He was at the bar."
When Sean looks at the man, a chill runs down his spine. He understands what might have happened earlier. He could see the purple suit the man had on on the picture, which was the exact same one he saw at the bar. Fuck, it is the same man. He knows the Joker, hell, everyone knows him here.
And that's bad news.
He's everywhere in everyone business. He has no sense of loyalty whatsoever, killing even his best allies and no one has the slightest clue what he wants. At the bar, he probably scared the shit out of you, he probably threatened you, too. Why, it's impossible to know. He's quite the unpredictable.
-Don't worry, he says, he probably forgot about you already. He's a scary man, likes to shock people a little. He always attack for a reason and you're not a criminal, so you're good."
But you couldn't believe it. He does not have all the information. He doesn't know about the tons of cards you received until now. Eyes completely stuck to the screen, you observe the face before you, knowing you probably wouldn't be able to escape him.
Somehow, this emission confirmed to you that he was real, that you weren't dreaming. And that you really were in it deeply.
Sean insists you shower to relax a little bit, you're holding onto the remote for dear life, nails digging in your palm. When in the bathroom, your eyes automatically gravitates towards the mirror, discovering your new face scarred by sleepless nights and cries. You're almost scared of your reflection. Sighing, your hands find themselves in your pockets alone but you're startled by the coldness they are greeted with. What have you in your pocket that is freezing like that ?
Your unease comes back in a rush when you take out another one of these cards from your jacket. Are you for real going crazy ? What is going on ? When did this get here ? How did it get here ? It's your damn jacket ! You had it in the work closet all day !
You're tired and doing this little fucked up game is not doing any good. A greasy almost wiped red is the first thing you see, his lips, you guess. He wears some kind of paint as lip stick, he fucking kissed the card, creepy bastard.
Turning the stiff paper, your eyes meet once again one of these painful riddle.
"I'm everywhere, you can't escape me and I'm coming for you. Who am I ?" tears slide quietly on your cheeks, the only sane reaction your emotionless state can give. You're not even moving, eyes staying fixated on the card; the tears are just physical. Body exhausted from it all. What is this now ? You know he's not talking about an object anymore, he's talking about himself. It's not riddles, it's threats. He's coming for you, what is he going to do ? Kill you ? Torture you, or worse ?
The shower did nothing to ease your nerves, you've never been so tensed in your life. What could you even do against this man ?
When Sean called you to eat, you let him know you weren't feeling the slightest hunger. He said nothing, simply keeping a plate for you on the kitchen counter.
You did not even blink an eye that night, paranoid at the slightest noise, a knife slept cautiously under your cushion. The windows and doors were completely shut and you would have loved to do the very same thing to your brain. You fell asleep, eventually, when you should have been up.
Sean was still asleep when you awoke the next day. You were late, and terribly so, the clicking clock on the wall warning you. It was already way past nine. You don't like to leave his house without even thanking him for his hospitality once again. But you'll see him tonight, at the bar. You'll probably have to quit, though. Not yet, as you have to secure another job. You can't risk being here without money, after all. Joker knows where you work at, no way you're staying more than necessary. But... he has to know about your restaurant job too, somehow.
You had a card in the closet, with his stupid shelf trap, after all.
You're safer there, maybe. It's quite the chic area. There's camera, people. Socialites are here, nobody attacks socialites. Usually, at least. Doubts subsists, the journalist on the TV affirmed the Joker attacked in the middle of the day, in plain sight. Would he attack the rich ? They're untouchable, their lawyer always know what to do and they know everyone. You can't kill a famous advocate, right ? It's like attacking the mayor. Remembering his face, you keep the unsettling impression he could kill anyone.
Fuck.
You take a piece of paper, write a few words on it, scotch it on the fridge and leave, dashing outside to not worsen your lateness. You were dead, oh you were so dead. Late couldn't even describe your situation by now. You boss was going to kill you, de-materialize you and send you in another world.
You ran until your legs couldn't support you anymore, people were side-eyeing you in the streets. Certainly thinking of you as some kind of thief or at the very least a criminal of some sort.
Jumping in the nearest bus, your legs being too weak to support you anymore, you finally arrive at your workplace ten minutes later. It was quarter to ten.
You're breathless, rushing once again to the rear of the restaurant. You push the back door open but to your surprise, it won't budge. What ? The guys never lock the door that early in the morning, they know you'll arrive, eventually. You knock a few times, knowing you had the key anyway but if someone was passing by inside, it would be quicker.
You don't have to wait that long as your boss himself is the one opening it for you, as if waiting beside it until your entry. He probably was. He crosses his arms on his chest, eyes glaring holes in you. Damn, you'll have to fight with him, again. You promised him you wouldn't be late anymore, he will never trust you again.
Well, it's not like he trusted you much before to begin with.
"Listen, I'm terribly sorry I'm late but... he scoffs.
-As If that was the only problem ! The man tightens his jaw, talking between his teeth. He approaches his head to yours, almost colliding your forehead together; he talks lowly, scared to be heard. You know damn well what's wrong.
Wow, okay. You were not expecting his reaction to be that dramatic. You're just (incredibly) late. It's not new. What's gotten into him ? You squint your eyes, at a loss of words.
-I was just... You start, ready to recite him once again your preposterous apologies.
-I don't give a fuck about you being late, he cracks, get out of here now ! You are not to put a single of your foot in this restaurant anymore ! You're gonna scare my customers ! In the process, a postilion left its house to attack your cheek. You cringe, immediately wiping it with your sleeve, shuddering in disgust.
-What ?
-What, what, he mimics you with a grimace and a weird voice, Get out of here ! He articulates each words slowly as if you were a foreigner, except his tone was harsh and firm. Haven't you seen the news ? If they hear a criminal is working here, I'm screwed.
-A criminal ? But I'm not... I'm, what the hell ? I'm not a criminal Tony.
-Yeah, yeah, and I'm rich ! Get the fuck out of here or at least, do me a favor and let me turn you in to the police." his face changes to disdain, suddenly thoroughly repelled by your being. "Man, you have to be some dirty criminal to have 600 000$ put on your face. What kind of shit have you done, huh ?
Six fucking what ?
-Uh, listen, I think there's some kind of misunderstanding here. I'm no criminal and I'm definitely not worth that much money.
Hell, in all your life, you did not even earn that much money !
-Hey, his tone changed to deviously adopt one sweeter. I don't want any problems okay ? With you, the cops or whoever is fucking wanting you dead. I'm an honest citizen.
What a hypocrite, he was literally yelling at you seconds ago.
You frown, trying to even understand what he's implying. You scratch your cheek, eyeing him from head to toe. He's in a tux, like always. He never do shit here, settling for bossing everyone around while trying to make you believe he's an irreplaceable element in the team.
Judging by his eyes, he is not kidding.
Is he for real firing you ? Just like that ? For some imaginary story he just made up ? Jobless, you will be jobless. He is firing you. A nervous chuckles escapes you, earning you a raise of the brow from Tony. No, oh no no ! You have this job, you did nothing wrong ! Life is already more shitty than it ever been ! Stalker, debts, fucking serial killer wanting your ass and now you lost your main job ? No, that won't do.
You were already planning to leave the bar, how are you supposed to find back two jobs ? One already was an ordeal.
-Honest citizen ? Are you blind ? You were more so than him at the moment. You don't even have an ounce of honesty in your fucking body ! Are you even aware of everything I did for this shitty place ? You can't fire me and you won't because no one else want to be your fucking slave ! Your job is slavery ! I don't want to be some kind of toy you throw away after you've had enough fun with it !
Tony was outraged you could talk to him like that. He was similar to a bourgeois in the eighteenth century, acting shocked after being the most gruesome person alive, putting his hand displayed on his chest and playing innocent.
-Me ? You should be honored to even be working ! You never understand, do you ? You are wanted, that's it ! There's nothing more, nothing less. You are fired. I am not hiring trash.
You hope the worst criminal of this town gets you, right here, for his fucking ugly disgusting restaurant to be destroyed to the very last crumbs. You'll use his body as a human shield while you're at it, after all, what else can he be useful for ?
Your body is boiling like lava. Hitting, jumping, crying, you don't know what you want, need, to do to externalize all of these toxic feelings. Never in your life have you felt more used, humiliated.
You knew he was an asshole, of course. Everyone does, but hell he fired you ! After years of being his toy !
You understand why people in Gotham are crazy. You understand why they suddenly breakdown and fall into crime. Their life, just like yours, was wasted by some self centered prick like him. Some self centered prick who are not even much richer than you, but think they will be when disrespecting you.
Your face isn't even warm, it's seething.
Your life is flashing before you, old friend, family, home, Mike. You won't even be able to pay your rent ! Of course chaos would be loved in a city where trash rules. Why the manifestation are so violent, why insecurity and banditry are prominent ? Because everyone is tired but nobody is listening. Because nobody wants to talk, they think they're at the top of the food chain.
And he won't change his mind. You're fired, that's all. Nothing can alters his decision. It's too late. He probably just created some poor excuses to get you out, you know it. Because you're not a criminal, and no one is giving away 600 000$ for your ass; he's lying. It's too farfetched.
You muster the calmest voice you can get while in such a boiling state, and God knows how hard it is. Wasting more time here is useless, he'll pay but not now, and not by you. You have a new problem: you need to find a job.
-Why don't you kill yourself, Tony ? Right now ? your eyes were empty against his outraged ones. That's why your wife left you, by the way. That's why she left you and took your damn kids. You don't even deserve to live, really, kill yourself, jump, it'll be better for everyone."
You shrug and turn away to never come back. You really hope he disappears forever.
And without anything else to do with your day, you went back home, body functioning by its own. With no diploma and no driving license, how were you supposed to find a job ? You had little experience, mostly having worked in little jobs everywhere. Cashiers, cleaner, babysitting, gardener (you really just cut bushes and mowed the lawn), security guard, fuck, you did it all. Plus, you have a second job and companies hate to arrange their schedules according to yours, in their point of view, you're the desperate one, you should manage your life.
It was safer to wander in Gotham now, the sun was bright in the sky. It was a clear day, really pretty. A shame you couldn't enjoy it.
You open the always creaking door of the building, feeling the freezing temperature inside. Truly a mystery, though a benediction in the hottest summer. A night out and it's like you already don't know this place anymore. You stand in the middle of the hall, staring at each crack in the walls, each suspicious stains, inhaling the disgusting smell emanating from it all.
Yeah, you hate this place.
Sighing and rubbing your tensed shoulders, you approach your mailbox. Opening it, you're pleasantly surprised when no cards is in sight. Maybe he finally got bored ? Your reaction back at the bar probably wasn't what he expected, not satisfying enough so he gave up. You hope so.
What's inside however is a A4 white sheet folded in two. Thinking a neighbor might have wanted to contact you, you open the paper. Yet, on it, the photo of your identity card in huge format, above it, your whole legal name with just below a price, written 'wanted' for treason. A chill run down your spine.
Okay, that is not funny. What the hell ? Did Tony did that ? If yes, how and why ? You pass your hand on your face, harshly rubbing your eyelids to wake you up. This is a joke, everything's a joke.
An echo brings you back on earth when someone goes down the stairs, upon seeing you, your neighbor halts. You offer him a tight lip smile out of pure politeness, which is a an act he does not even try to imitates as he eyes you as if seeing an animal. Do you look that bad ?
Awkwardly, you shift your weight on your feet to ease the tension growing in you. Why is he still looking at you ? The man, even though you were already well far away from him, distances himself and instead of going straight to the door to leave, bothers to make a detour in order to skirt you completely, without daring to approach a millimeter. Does he think you're going to bite, or what ? You two have talked in the past, briefly sure, but still. Fuck, his behaviour does not comfort you one bit.
When the door shut, you're left standing alone once again.
Things are definitely going in a direction you don't appreciate, you may need to hurry up before something really bad happens. Your hand fetches your phone in your back pocket, calling Sean. When he answers, he does not even bother to greet you.
"You okay? You left really early. You're at work ?
-I got fired, long story. I really need your help, again. I'm truly sorry I myself don't quite understand what's going on and... you stop your ranting, breathless and a lump in throat.
-It's okay, really. I don't mind. Tell me everything, how did you get fired ? Why ?
You called him for several reasons. The first being that he's kind of the only friend you have. The second being that Sean's family know people. They're all criminal at different degrees, whether it is gang leader, small thief or hitman. He's the only one actively trying to live an honest life.
-It's complicated and I'm still pissed about it. you tell him seriously, walking in circles in the hall. I have a question and I really need your answer.
-Not stressing at all. He tries to ease the mood, in vain.
-Am I wanted ?
Sean doesn't answer for twenty seconds too much. His silence is starting to worry you, why isn't he saying anything ? Is he confused ? Does he know ? Please, may he not hide something from you. Wanting to distract yourself, you take the stairs to join your flat. Your fingers were creasing the paper sheet in your hand so hard you could have ripped it.
-In like, he finally starts with a strained voice, a personality kind of way ? Relationship ? He chuckles awkwardly while you frown. Well, no offense but uh, I don't think I am attracted to you, I like you but I wouldn't say I want you, you know ? But you shouldn't be insecure, you're a really great person you know, and I mean, you're not ugly so...
-Sean, what the fuck ? You finally cut him when it hit you that he wasn't answering. You were on the floor just below yours, wanting to walk and not quite go home for the moment.
-I'm sorry, was that mean ? That was definitely mean. He clears his throat. Listen, what I meant was...
-No Sean I'm not insecure, everything's fine. I did not mean... Argh ! You're in this kind of environment, you should know !
-What environment ...?
You want to pull at his hair and shake his head back and forth to punish him for being so stupid. Or maybe you were just not being clear, it was surely that. You were incredibly stressed. Traveling between the different floors or the building to stretch your legs.
-Like, criminals, mafia, I don't know. It's... You sigh, your anger dissipating when you realized you were being a little harsh to him. Weird things keep happening to me and I think I'm going crazy for thinking I may have a price on my head.
-Oh, wanted wanted. No because I thought... He coughs. Never mind. I can definitely tell you that. But honestly, odds are low. No offense but you have nothing to give to anyone. You don't have a lot of money. So I don't think anyone wants you.
Damn.
-Why do you think that anyway ? he asks.
Very briefly, you explain to him why Tony had fired you, still using the stairs and floors as a distraction. Of course, you then told him about the paper you found in your mailbox and the weird encounter with your neighbor.
-I'm just really fucking lost, Sean. I'm sorry, you've been nothing but nice to me and I keep snapping at you, I-I don't know what's going on.
-You're freaked out, it's normal. I don't blame you. I'll help you, send me the wanted poster you got. Maybe it's fake."
Of course, you tell him. You'd do pretty much anything to get out of this situation. You want it to be fake, but there's just an accumulation of bad things that tend to make you believe it's true. Looking around you, you notice to be on the last floor of the building. Flattening the paper sheet back, trying to erase all the creases, you lay it on the dirty floor of the hallways. You tear your phone away from your ear for a simple moment to take the picture. You press send.
You wait impatiently for him to say something, anything. But his reaction is clearly not the one you were waiting for:
-Oh fuck.
-What ? you panic, feeling your heart rises in your throat. What do you mean 'oh fuck' ? Sean ?" But the nauseating ringing of the call being cut short echoes in your ear.
He hung up.
You bite your lip, shutting your eyes as hard as you can. Your fingers find your closed lid, pressing on it as if calming an upcoming headache. What the fuck is going on exactly ? Why did he hang up ? Did you say something ? Did he see something ? You can't keep doing that, nobody answered any of your questions since this morning. You are tired.
You give up. You'll go back home, sleep a little. Research a job in the newspaper and hope for things to get better. Sighing, you walk the stairs once again, only this time to really move on.
Has everyone given up on you ? It feels like it, no one seems akin to want to help you. You never did any wrong to anyone. You always hold the door open to people, you give the few you have to homeless people in the streets. You payed what an old woman lacked in money for her groceries. You work everyday of the damn week, with no holidays.
What have you done ?
Sure, you're starting to break down, you told Tony to kill himself, you yelled at Sean. What the hell ? Never would you have done that in your life. What's happening ? It's getting scary out there, yet, no one's here for you to confide in.
You never should have left your hometown, you punished yourself.
The first thing you do once inside your home is falling head first on the couch. Feeling tears filling up your eyes. You don't fight them, letting them slide freely along your cheeks. After all, it's the good part of having a place to yourself, you get to cry alone in the safety of it.
You'll have to give it up, though. Without necessary money, you'll eventually need to move. Probably find a roommate and live in a red light district.
You spent the next hours trying to read classified ads, key word being 'trying' as your watery eyes didn't allow you to see much. And you ended up watching TV, like you always do. You couldn't fathom the idea of being that alone. When did it all go wrong ? Are you a horrible person ?
The news-woman kept talking and talking without stopping, saying the same things as yesterday and probably tomorrow as well. Inflation, criminality, inflation, criminality. Where were you in all of this ? What about the population ? Where were the solutions ? Is this city really stuck in a loop of chaos ?
The screen now displays a cop in a police station, sharing his feeling and impression about the improvement of the city. You don't listen to him, more struck by what's behind him: a poster on a cork board. Yours. It's your face, with the price, 'treason' shit and everything. The exact same poster you had in your mailbox. The situation is that bad, huh ? Your wanted poster is right next to The Joker one. Is there a link ? Are they hoping to find him after finding you ? They're wrong, then.
You wait, impatiently trying to decipher whether the policeman will talk about you or not. But he does not, so you lay back down on the couch. How does wanted people live freely ? You've been researched for a few hours and you're already going crazy with the feeling everyone's watching you.
Do you even know a criminal in this town ? Well, the only one you do know is Sean. You briefly meet them at the bar, as part of your job. Befriending them is not for you though, so you have no useful information to give the Joker. Then what does he want ?
The doorbell rings through the flat, screaming at you to get up and do something with your life. A chill run through your body, breath stopping for a second out of fear to be heard. For a while, you don't move. Who could it be anyway ? Surely bad news. Now that you're wanted, it could be anyone. But the rings echoes again, forcing you to get up. Slowly and as quietly as possible, you slide to the door. Eye staring through the peephole, you're surprised to discover Sean standing anxiously outside.
How did he get your address ?
Opening the different locks on your door, you however keep the small chain closing it. It wasn't much of a protection to be honest, but you needed to lie to yourself a little bit.
"You hung up on me. Is the only thing you say when your eyes meet.
-I know, I'm really sorry. Are you okay ?
-How did you get my address ? It's weird.
He explains to you how your information are given on your work file. You stand inside, judging him from head to toe. He welcomed you at his place, you have to be polite or you'll really look like an opportunistic. But it's hard when you don't know his exact thoughts.
-Why did you hang up ?
-I talked to my uncle, he has a bar in the center of Gotham. Every criminal goes there, he knows everything.
-And ?
-You're safe, it's false. You're not wanted. He... He didn't see your poster. So it was a bad joke. Silence, you don't believe him. I promise. You're not in danger.
Then why is your face plastered in all Gotham ? Is he completely sure about that information ? You hate to act this way but, it's too late for him to tell you that anyway. False or not, the poster of your head is everywhere. People will try to find you. The veracity of it all doesn't matter anymore.
Though you can't shake that uneasy feeling inside you alerting you of his lie. You saw your face on TV, in a police station. It's not nothing !
-How are you so sure ?
-I told you, you have nothing that could interest such a dangerous man as the Joker.
He's right, on the other hand, something's definitely wrong.
-What do we do, now ?
-You could let me in ? I want to help you but we can't talk if I stay outside.
Halfheartedly, you let him in. He thanks you, admires a few seconds his surroundings before plopping down on the couch. You stay standing even after closing the door shut, crossing your arms on your chest and awaiting his arguments.
Should you tell him you saw your face in a police station ? No, you need to know what he's going to tell you. He's lying, you know it now. But why ?
You thought he could be a friend, turn out you can't trust him that much. Or are you losing it ? Policemen are quite dumb here, they are completely capable of believing everything they see and considering they're desperate to catch the Joker; they could have took your poster as a track.
-What's your plan ? you ask.
-It depends on what you want.
Well, you want a lot of different things. Money, happiness, freedom, family, equality, peace. Right now though, one will be enough.
-I need a job, I can't pay my rent this month otherwise.
-That one's easy. He crosses his arms on his chest, sinking into the sofa cushions. Try ask your bank, they'll lend you some.
-No they won't Sean, I'm indebted. Seriously, did he really think life was this easy ? Did he really think you haven't thought of doing just that ?
He sighs and shrug, crossing his legs, he put his feet on the table. Your eyes are enough to tell him to put them back on the ground. He's a little bit too comfortable for your liking.
-It's these immigrants my friend. We lack money because of them.
What ?
-No, it's just poor distribution of resources. With the ongoing inflation and such, it has literally nothing to do with immigration. You frown, confusion lacing your tone, answering him as if asking a question, because what ? That was so out of pocket ? It's stupid to think like that, it's too easy to accuse others. They're as fucked as we are, you know ? Don't say that.
That's what Gotham thinks ? That each one of their problem is caused by others ? Industries, Government, Politics, they're the one causing all of this. How does someone get to this conclusion ? You thought Sean was good, hell, his family was poor. They survived thanks to drugs and banditry. He's bold to think immigrants are the problem: His family literally embezzles money.
-Jeez, calm down.
Well, it's difficult to be calm towards this kind of stupidity. But at least it keeps you in check, you know who he's voting for. Never trust anyone. It's true you don't know him that well, after all.
-You want my help or not ?
It's harder to see him in the same light as before after this, but if he's the only one willing to help, you can't waste this chance.
-Yeah. You sigh, ashamed with yourself. I need people to forget about me.
-Good, meet me at the back of the bar at the end of our shift. He's not waiting for an answer as he gets up to leave.
-Wow. No ?
He stops in his tracks as you block his way.
-What do you mean, 'no' ?
Is he serious ? With everything you risk ? Criminals at the bar know you, hell, some of them see you every night. No, you are not joining him in the dark in a creepy alley late at night when people want you dead. Also, you need to think a little before jumping straight back to work, it's dangerous.
-Because I don't want to die ?" You need to tell him. "Okay, Sean, I may not understand everything but I know you're lying to me. Am I wanted or not ?
He already lost every ounce of respect you had for him. First with the lying, then with the whole immigrants things.
-You don't believe me ? Is he trying to make you feel guilty ?
-I saw my fucking head on the TV. I believe that's enough proof for me. You cut the conversation straight, not wanting him to keep lengthening things uselessly.
Sean doesn't answer, seemingly hesitating. What is he thinking ? He has to respond. He's constantly trying to avoid the subject and it's getting frustrating.
-That means I'm in danger, right ?
-Yes." he finally answers. Thank God, you think, God why, you also think. "But not because of the Joker. He's not responsible for what's happening to you. All the cards and riddles are from him, yes, but someone saw you two talking at the bar and thought they could get to him by killing you.
You entirely stopped trusting him after he mentioned the cards and the riddles. Because never, in all your discussions, have you mentioned receiving these. He knows too much.
You don't bring it up, of course.
-Explain.
Who could have told him about the riddles, if not you ? The one sending them ? Yes, but Sean's terrified of him. Plus, he couldn't talk to him, even if he had the courage to. It's the Joker, from what you understand, you don't approach him easily. He's not the small local criminal. He's something more.
-The Joker's well known. Everyone wants to defy him. And someone saw you.
-Who ? you ask, finally getting some well deserved qualitative answers.
-His name was, uh, Korej I believe.
-Ko...Rej... you repeat, unimpressed, frowning.
Is it you or does it sound vaguely similar to Joker, but with the letters all mixed up ?
-It's his pseudonym." He hastily answers. "But his real name is John, he lives in the richest part of Gotham. He's a mob leader. He fucking despises the Joker, that's why his name is Kojer.
-Korej, you corrected.
-Yeah, it's difficult to remember. It's quite the shitty name.
He really think you're dumb, right ? You clasp your hands together, catching his drifting attention.
-Okay, well, thank you for everything Sean. It was a pleasure, truly. But now I'm gonna ask you to leave.
-You don't believe me ?
No, no you don't. Everything he ever said to you since he first came here was either weird or false. And sometimes weirdly false.
-Please, leave my house.
You'll go to the nearest police station, ask for help. And if nobody helps you, you'll find a way out of here. This city is dead anyway, there's nothing for you anymore. It's too late.
-Don't you want to talk about it ? he asks hurriedly, displaying his open hands in the air as if ready to grab your shoulders.
-If you want us to talk, okay, you yield. But choose somewhere safe, with a lot of people. I am not joining you at the back of the bar at night where everyone could kill me.
You're going crazy. Why are you even accepting this ? It's not a dream, nor a joke, you really are wanted. People want to kill you. There is money on your head. Sean is deep in thoughts before getting the enlightenment he needed, suddenly vigorously saying:
-Shopping center.
-What ?
-Let's meet at the shopping center, in two hours. I have things to prepare, people to call. You have my number, I'll call you. Is it good for you ?
His behaviour is screaming danger, on the other hand, a rendez-vous in a crowded shopping center at 3PM is not as risky as the bar. And if things turn bad, you still have a chance to run away, hidden in the mass. You hope the things he'll prepare will help you, and not worsen everything.
"Okay. You yield, once again.
-Thank you so much, he exclaimed." Why is he thanking you ? "You're a real sweetheart. It will be worth it."
And with these last words, he left.
You won't go. Of course you won't go damn, you don't want to die. He's so suspicious ! Why so much relief ? He's the one supposed to help you, you're not doing anything for him. You absolutely changed your mind. Yesterday, he was that nice man who saved your life, welcoming you home warmly. Today, he's, well, you don't know who he is anymore. You want to understand, discover what's wrong, but at the same time, it's not yours to do.
Fuck, you need to empty your mind. It's tiring, to be suspicious of everyone, to always have to thoroughly think about everything you do. You plop down on your couch, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on. There's a cartoon going on. Tom and Jerry, a cat chasing, or at least trying to, a mouse. But the mouse's well smarter than the cat. 
Each time he thinks he'll catch it, the mouse finds a way to turn the situation to his advantage. Because in fact, the cat will never win. He has the illusion of strength because of his height, when the mouse is vicious, malign. 
Also, if the cat caught the mouse, well, the show wouldn't have any interest anymore. 
On the screen, the mouse finds a way to slam the door in the cat face, who's dizzy. To illustrate it, stars and birds are rotating around his head.
You don't know why the mouse does all this, maybe to survive. The small animal found the comfort of a warm house with good cheese and doesn't want to leave. The cat, however, is forced to chase it all day. As his owners force him to. It's his role, as the house guard, to chase rodents. Otherwise, he'll be replaced. 
You have to be really damn fucked for you to start analyzing a stupid cartoon. 
Jeez, it's a cat chasing a mouse, it's silly, it's fun to watch. You don't think, just turn off your brain and have fun. Why can't you do just that ?
Sighing, you change channel, trying to find something worth watching. You end up watching the news, it keeping you grounded. It helps you think you're not the worst case, that there's always worse somewhere. It's deeply selfish, but hey, you can't do much about it. Your life is pretty much ruined at the moment. 
What's today's problem? Well this time, the subject is centered around climate change and its catastrophes.
"Global warming. Today, in Spain, alarming news. The national temperature has increased considerably by 46°F (5°C) since last year. The Spanish are revolted, the world is encountering a record in warmth. Their main claim, she reads her notes, "It's summer's weather when we're in autumn." She briefly gulps her saliva. "Indeed, the local heat reached 86°F (30°C) while 73°F (23°C) at night. IPCC's report is alarming, something has to change. Is the world government going to act ?" She quits her serious tone and changes the subject. "Local news; what's happening in Gotham today ?"
Ah, here you go. You turn up the volume. 
"Earlier in the main avenue today, several store signs were vandalized by a group of masked men, it is thought to be perpetrated by an illegal organization. It's a real raid that happened, terrorizing the passers-by and owners. The identity of the delinquent stays unfounded. We know that the police department is currently working on..."
You mute the TV. Vandalizing stores, now ? They didn't even steal anything, who does that ? On the screen, a replay of surveillance cameras showing masked men running, pushing people and only stopping to draw weird shapes on a few of the stores. It's bad, but not quite as bad as your case. Putting the sound back, you're perfectly timed with the conclusion of the event. 
"Where is Batman ? Has the vigilante abandoned our city ? We hope for his prompt return in time for him to apprehend the Joker." 
Batman, right. You forgot that man was even existing. While some wonder who is hiding behind the mask, you're left questioning yourself on which side is he. If he's with the cops, is he a good or bad man ? Police is part of the problem, certainly. But Batman sometimes helps people, although you never encountered him yourself. But is he really with the police ? 
Who is he working with ? And why is he what he is ?
"Whatever... You rub your eyes."
Why do you even keep thinking about that, it's not your problem anymore. You're leaving. Gotham has nothing left for you. Batman can do whatever he wants, for all you care. He doesn't know about your insignificant existence, why waste it thinking of him ? 
But are you really leaving this place, though ? 
Are you really about to leave your life and flee like a coward ? Yes, is the obvious answer. You could think about it, is the less obvious answer. 
Yes, your life is at stake. On the other hand, Sean could really be useful as you're still in danger as long as you stay in Gotham, he's a considerable ally in this story. And not only Sean but his family as well could help you. 
You know about his aunt. That woman is quite well known. A powerful gang chief. You could pay her to get escorted outside of Gotham. You're already indebted anyway, you have nothing to lose anymore. Moreover, nothing guarantees your safety once outside of Gotham. If the Joker is as feared as shown in the media, changing city won't be enough. Which is why you need to clear the problem directly from the root. 
Okay, you won't lose anything in going, right ? Maybe your life, but it's worth a try. You'll join Sean. Yes, you'll join him. 
When the time arrived, you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling taunting you all while preparing yourself. What if someone chases after you ? What if you get kidnapped ? You won't, of course you won't. Sean will be there when you arrive. He's dissuading enough. He's a big man. 
You found yourself before the gigantic mall before even being able to process it. It was crowded, people entering and getting out every second. For a moment, your eyes search for Sean in the rabble only to find no one. He's probably inside, it's safer. 
Tightly holding the hood stuck on your head, you stare intensely at whoever crosses your path, trying to gain enough courage to finally enter the building. 
It's scary to be wanted, the displeasing impression everyone's looking at you is suffocating. You could get killed, right now. Abducted, even. 
When the automated doors open, you're greeted by the cold air conditioning. It's autumn, why the hell would someone want to freeze to death ? 
Checking your phone, there's still no sign of Sean. He couldn't possibly stand you up, right ? He's the one who insisted for you to come. It wouldn't be logical. He's just late.
You can't really afford to be waiting in your situation, every second matters. You don't know what will happen. And, yeah, you're kind of starting to freak out. You don’t know where your wanted poster ended up. Maybe you’re already dead, and, shit, you're alone in such a vulnerable position. Fuck, why did you come ?
You’re trying to stay rational, thinking of every possibility as to why he’s not here. You nod your head to yourself, trying to ease your nerves. He'll come. You just need a little patience. He said he needed to prepare things beforehand, that's why he's late. He's late because he'll help you. 
You miss the mall, it's been long since you last came here, too preoccupied with your two jobs. You used to like watching people but quickly stopped. First, you once or twice made an awkwardly long eye contact with a man who then wanted to beat you up for provoking him, "like a pussy". Then, the second reason is that people are just... Mean. You'd look at a pretty woman only for her to spit on the ground. In the street is already disgusting enough, but the mall ! You'll look at a man hugging a woman, just to realize that they both don't know each other and that he's drunk out of his mind. 
Maybe you do need to get out of here, actually. 
Your phone still hasn't buzzed, you need to do something with your body or you’ll go crazy. It’s obvious staring daggers at your device every second won’t help. He's not here yet, you need to accept it and wait. You'll walk a little to not get noticed, your tensed and motionless body language is screaming suspicious and people are starting to side eye you. 
It’s only natural of your legs to start bringing you to the places you used to go to, only to realize that one of your favorite stores closed permanently. Of course, with the crisis. It’s not surprising. 
"Fucking morons..." Mutters a man to your left. Upon looking in his direction, you meet the owner of the voice standing on a stepladder, trying to energetically scrub with a sponge his store's sign. Key word being 'trying' as it's not successful. 
Right, earlier's vandals. 
He's cursing to himself, scrubbing progressively more aggressively the almost intact big black 'O' tagged on the sign mocking him. 
"Can I know who did that? asked your curiosity. 
-Fucking assholes, he answers without even looking your way, that's who did that. 
-What do they looked like ?
-No idea, he grumbles. They all had that stupid mask on. All white with some blue and red. No idea what that was supposed to be. Ask the other owners if you're so interested, but you're late. Journalists already left. 
Oh, right. He thinks you’re a journalist. 
-Thank you, have a nice day sir.
-Yeah yeah…”
You heard several stores were vandalized, where are the others ? Letting your legs wander, you get your answer a few meters/feet away. A sign is hanging by an electric thread. 
It’s a shoe store, but its signboard was now displaying a big black 'O'. You lift a brow, confused about its meaning. Usually, tag either insults or convey a message. Anyhow, there's a sense. Now though, you can't quite pinpoint it. O, what starts with an O. Optimism, oppression, obedient omelette ? It can be anything. Maybe it's not a letter, but a signature? 
Two stores away (you see it out of the corner of your eye) another of these is vandalized, this time, a bold 'B' was written. What word could this correspond to? B for Batman ? It's not a word, mostly a name. Baby, maybe. Bomb, bag, anything. Hell, it could even be badminton for all you know. 
Next letter is directly after the previous one, a 'S' hiding the dress logo the sign was exhibiting prior. The paint is dripping a little and one or two drops can be seen on the ground. 
"Those damn scum." a man grumbles, who you think might be the owner of the poor store. He crosses his arms on his chest, looking up disapprovingly. 
You ignore him, now thrilled by all of this. You want to discover all the tags. It's not like you have much better to do anyway. Sean still hasn't answered you. You know what to do to wait: find words for each letter. S makes you think of sabotage, skull and soup. 
You see the next letter from afar, this time, an "E" welcomes you. Though, this one was partially erased. You guess the owner found the right product. It's now possible to read the sign and enjoy the sweet sight of what seems to be a sex shop sign. Is it even legal ? There's kids coming into this mall. Anyway, a lot of words start with E; Electric, Ebola, education, eagle. 
You don't find the next letter right away, needing to walk a little to find it. But when you do, you're weirdly excited. It's just a bunch of words on some signboards, yet, it's fun. Like an orienteering race. But mostly because you don't get to have much fun today, and this being out of your quotidian, it's easy to be ecstatic.  
Further away, it's not one but two letters that greets you; two "S", entwined like snakes. Shit, is it a nazi kind of tag ? It looks like the police's symbol there was back then. If that’s the case, you don’t find this as exciting as before. Not a good thing to write. There's already so much chaos here, you pray nazis are not going to be added to it. You think of the word 'Swiss' for this letter.
Next letter is an 'I'. Investigation, investment, ice. A woman bypasses you, hitting your shoulder with her. You squeal out of surprise, the woman doesn't even notice you. What a shitty town. You check your phone again, making sure Sean didn't try to contact you. No reply. 
Walking ahead, the next vandalized store needs you to turn to the left to be seen, it's an 'O', again. But you don’t have the time to think of words that you already see the next letter. It’s a ‘N’. Night, Nemo (as in the movie) and nuisance. You already found words starting with ‘O’ anyway. It seems to be the last one as you walk and turn but no others appear. Disappointment lingers, sad it ended so soon. 
What is it, does it form a word at the end ? Like street art ? Maybe, a shame you already forgot all the previous letters. It was fun, though. You'd do it again, it's entertaining. Like a track game where you follow a path. Vibrations are bringing you back to reality, rushing to take it, you rotate to leave the place in order to find somewhere calmer. In your haste, you bump straight into someone. You freeze for a second, phone in hand.
They’re wearing a mask, a clown mask on their black hair. And a really ugly one. It’s shiny, like plastic and it surely is. Their eyes are the only thing you see through the holes. Whoever that is is staring right into your damn soul. Their eyes are empty, so empty you might think they’re on some kind of drug. The big red nose in the middle of their face is mocking you, laughing at you to be scared of something so ridiculous. Two small tufts of green hair are standing on each side of his head, the false bloody teeth drawn on the mask is the final touch that tells you to leave.
“Sorry.” you mumble, avoiding eye contact.
Your hands are holding your phone so tightly that fear strikes you that you could actually break the screen. The clown does not move when you walk past him, and you realize right then and there that they were well too close to you for it to be normal. You hate clowns, you hate them so much. All of this because of that stupid Joker. That person probably wasn’t even related to him, maybe he was one of the vandals. You don’t know, you don’t want to.
When you pick up Sean’s call, he apologizes for being late and plans an area for you to meet. You’re before the sex shope tagged by the “E” by the time Sean joins you. You’re not as convinced as before to destroy the problem from its root after the clown encounter. You’re not a hero, not a criminal. You’re nothing, you don’t have anything to prove to anybody. You should leave.
“You okay ? You look like you saw a ghost ? He laughs, but he’s not your friend so you don’t.
-So ? Got out much more coldly than you intended it to be.
-Jeez, you’re impatient. I’ll help you, I told you I would, right ?
You did, doesn’t mean you really will. You cross your arms on your chest, approaching him for him to hear you more clearly.
-Do you have any information ? Ways to get me out of here ? To resolve this ? Anything ?
He sighs, stepping back as if you’re the plague and looking elsewhere in the crowd. He seems conflicted, forehead creased by his worry.
-I can’t tell you now, walls have ears.
-Then why the fuck would you tell me to join you here ? If you’re so scared to be spied on, we could have continued this discussion at my place.
Your tension is building up. It’s fucking frustrating to talk with him. He starts teasing you with interesting information, then, he retreats and acts as if nothing happened and you’re just impatient. He told you to come here, he told you he’d help you.
-At least answer my questions, you plead, I don’t even know who… Who is the Joker ? Who is he exactly ? He physically tensed, his shoulders literally hunched forwards. What the hell ?
-Well, uh, it's complicated.
Damn, even that couldn’t be answered. Why are you still here ?
-What do you mean it's complicated ? Is he a terrorist ? A thief ? A gang leader ? A serial killer ? It's a simple question.
-He's a little bit of everything, truly.
Why does he always seem so nervous talking about him ?
-Sean for the love of God, he’s not here ! people are starting to look in your direction, but you couldn’t care less. You can calm down, he won’t kill you ! You gotta breathe a little, man. Aren’t you the one who literally told me he wasn’t after me ? It’s not the first time you’re lying to me and I’m starting to lose it. Why am I here ? Tell me, why are we fucking here if you’re not gonna help me ! Who is this man and what does he want ? Why does he want to kill me ! It’s…” a gunshot whistles in the air, cutting you in your sentence straight away, screams erupting from all sides.
Your body acts before you can think, throwing yourself on the ground. It’s hard to understand what’s going on, but in a way, you don’t try to. You get up quickly and lose yourself in the running and yelling crowd. Your paranoia is not helping, was this gunshot aimed at you ? Sean is somewhere in the mall, but it’s too late. You gave him a chance, he wasted it.
Another gunshot echoes, followed closely by the sound of a glass breaking. Your senses are overwhelmed; names, insults, orders are being yelled. Is the Joker here ? You need to get out of here, now. Bodies are pushed against yours, your clothes are being tugged on. But when you were about to reach the exit, someone harshly grabs you out of the crowd, pulling you aside. It’s panic in your head, survival instinct kicking in. You yank your arm out of the person’s hold but freeze upon seeing Sean threaten you with a gun.
“Sean, you start with a shaky voice, what the fuck ? his eyes are cold, you don’t recognize him. He looks at you as if you're nothing, as if you're no one.
-He’s here, he states, looking paranoidly to the sides. He’s… He’s going to kill me if I don’t bring you to him.
-Bring me to who, Sean ? But you fear you might already know.
-The Joker.
Of course he’d betray you. Who are you kidding ? You knew, you knew he would trap you. Your eyes can’t leave the sight of the gun barrel, following each of its movements. He’s shaking, you realize. Is he scared, hesitating ? Or motivated by a hatred so pure he can’t even control his own feelings ?
-Sean, you try nonetheless, he’ll kill you either way okay ? He’s a sadist, we can… you gulp, throat suddenly burning dry. We can leave together, we’ll leave the city and…
-You don’t understand, do you ? He’ll track you, he’ll track us down. And then, he’ll slaughter us like pigs. You hear me ? He’ll slaught…
-I get it ! I get it ! you scream, shutting your eyes in order to erase those images from your head.
How can you even change his mind ? You doubt he’d fold with some speech about your friendship. It’s not like you two were that close to be honest. Sure, you liked him but that changed since the beginning of the Joker catastrophe.
-He promised me money, he explained himself. As if you’d forgive him after hearing his justification. A lot of money. You can’t understand what it’s like to… when you see him lower his weapon, you interrupt him, drived by your anger.
-How can you be so stupid ? He was, he truly was an idiot for believing the Joker. You haven’t known that beast for long, but each time someone defined him, it was always along the lines of wicked, treacherous, vicious and ruthless. So yeah, he was stupid. Was your life worth something as insignificant as money ? Has he ever liked you ?
-Shut up ! I’m done living like a fucking tramp !
Tramp is a big word coming from him, daddy pays him everything ! You’re tired of his tantrums, he is a grown man, ten or fifteen years older than you and he’s acting like a child. Suffering is your quotidian as well, but you would’ve never betrayed him. In fact, that is your problem. You’re not a scumbag like him, that’s why you can’t stand him. You have no value similar to his, if he even has some. By what right does he think he can use you to get, what, a few dirty money ?
If you're going to die, at least you'll die telling him every resentment you had towards him.
-You think I am happy ?! Your life’s better than mine ! Fuck you Sean, you’re an asshole ! You’re a fucking asshole ! You’re the one that should die !
-Shut the fuck up you whore !
A burning pain sliced through you along a sharp sound, legs losing all strength and making you fall on the ground. Your ears are ringing and your breath is cut for a few long seconds. What happened ? Is the first question popping in your head, but the atrocious pain coursing through your leg answers you. Your hand touches your hurting limb, but retreats it instantly at the pain. So you look down.
Blood, there’s blood everywhere.
It’s yours. It’s… It’s your damn blood, you’re bleeding. You have a hole in your leg and it’s gushing out blood. He shot you. Fuck, oh God, oh God, you’re bleeding. You’re fucking bleeding and it hurt like hell. It hurt so damn bad, why, why did he do that ? Your eyes are stinging and soon, tears fall down your cheeks. Are you going to die ? Here ? With nothing accomplished ? Alone ? Shot by the only man you thought was your friend ?
-I believe alive was written on the contract.
You recognize that voice, you hear it in your nightmares.
-Joker ! I… She tried to run away, I had to immobilize her !
It’s weird, your body is exhausted, yet, the pain is keeping you well awake. Your head is heavy when you lay it on the dirty ground of the mall. Eyes trailing slowly to the two men talking. Finally, he’s here before you. He’s shown himself. Even if it’s only the second time you see him, you talked and heard about him so much these past hours it feels like you’ve been with him for months. And maybe you were, in a way. Sean walks past you, not glancing towards your drained body on the ground. He’s scared of him. He plays the big man with you, but he’s a little bitch.
How is Sean, a man built like a fridge, so terrified of someone so ridiculous as the Joker ?
Who is he ?
The pain in your leg makes it feel numb and at the same as alive as it never been. The Joker sighs exaggeratedly, he tilts his head to the side to look at you. Shivers shake your whole body. Is that it ? This is the man who’ll abduct you ? You’d rather get killed instantly.
-And right on Valentine’s day...” mumbles the Joker.
It’s not, it’s autumn. Valentine’s day is in February, in winter. From your position, police sirens are heard and red and blue lights are flashing, reflecting on the windows. The Joker takes out a gun out of his long purple jacket and aims it towards Sean.
“Please ! He yells. I-I did what you wanted ! She’s here, please don’t kill me ! I’m a hitman, I’ll work for you !
Is he, now ? He's barely a barman.
-Do I look like I'm searching for employees ? He asks, opening his arms and bending his hands for his palms to face the ceiling before looking around him for confirmation. Because I’m not.”
You're torn between relief and horror at the sight of Sean falling to the ground after another gunshot, bathing in his own blood. He did betray you, he brought you here, he brought this upon you, upon himself. But he’s dead. You wished him to, but now that he is you’re horrified.
It’s then that you realize that The Joker is surrounded by his masked goons. Probably the one who vandalized the store, now that you think about it. You walked right into his trap.
“Well ? What are you waiting for ? he asks almost comically. Bring the package to the car !
When several men surrounds you, you're left yelling and fighting to get out of their holds, in vain, of course. The blood gushing out of your hurting limb isn't helping much, anyway. You feel your strength slowly evaporate from you.
Shotguns echoes, but your ringing ears prevent you to precisely locate it. Soon, they throw you in the back of a car and close the door, leaving you in the dark.
Gotham killed you.  
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psychesetra · 25 days
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WHY DID MY POST ABOUT ALASTOR ANGST PROMPTS GET SO MANY REPLIES LMFAOOOO
okay chat here we go..!
integrated some of these into a radioapple oneshot btw.. so you will see these even if you yourself don't write them >:]
• i'm pretty sure deer ears can hear a lot better than normal ones, and with more range. considering the fact majority of the hotel don't exactly like him and they're pretty paranoid about him (valid ngl) he could probably hear them talk smack abt him :(
• ok so,.,. unsure but i heard once in history class that in his time slave traders called black people bucks and does. weeeeell-
• "a smile is a powerful tool-" "it's not a tool, it's not supposed to be that! what messed you up so much to think it's that!?"
• of course a side ot cyanophobia (did i spell that right??) - phobia of dogs :3
• even if he was a hunter i like to think that with his new deer ears and also the fact he was killed by a hunter themselves,.,. i don't think he can handle the sound of a shotgun anymore for long
• he doesn't sleep because he believes it to be vulnerability
• we all know that like his dad was probably abusive to both him and his mother right??? what if,.. what if his mom died to his dad just rhink about it logically to him it would teach him two things - the world is cruel , and the vulnerable are its victims. so no more vulnerability !!! hahaha!!
• he's mixed race right?? i like to think he didn't have many friends or couldn't have many, so when he was on the air (pre-death ofc) he had a tendency to start talking to his listeners like they were friends - though he tried to stop it
• he actually still needs glasses but he settled for a monocle bc "theyll think im weak !!!!!!!"
• he had a small garden of flowers at some point so he could always bring his mother's grave some,.,. WAHHH
• this one is pretty far off and lowk too poetic but maybe the day he started loving red just a tad too much was the day he came home to his mother , dead in a pool of it? for the rest of his life he always had some sort of red on him -- a reminder of what was lost. in death the accents of black i like to think are for mourning
• he defo has a picture of his mom but it got destroyed in the finale when the hotel collapsed 💔 i do have a full idea on this somewhere ill look 4 it
• owns his dad's soul in hell but he can't do much to him because he's admittedly still a little scared of him
these are lowk ooc but i mean it's alastor this man doesn't let anyone see what's actually him 💀💀💀 and it's fanfic too,.,. we can pretend chat we can pretend
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viaviv124 · 6 months
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Cotl Orphan AU
So bc i would never in a million years finish writing this as a fic i'll just write everything i have so far here so its out of my head and y'all can also do whatever you want with it. This will be a long ass post so get a drink and get cozy. Of course i won't get on full Detail like characterizations etc, in this post at least, so feel free to ask questions! I'd love to answer them!
This post includes content warnings for all sorts of very dark topics, but especially murder, body horror, torture, cannibalism, suicide, depression, slightly implied sexual abuse, implied abuse in general and other stuff like that. If you're sensible to this please click off or proceed with caution.
It all starts with 5 siblings, Shamura(16), Kallamar(14), Narinder(13), Heket(10) and Leshy(8). When Leshy was barely able to walk they ended up on the streets because one of their parents killed the other before taking their own life. They struggled a lot but they got by.
One day, when Narinder was out looking for food, he found an injured lamb, around his age, in an ally. They seemed starved and the life had already left their eyes as they barely managed to look up at him. Being unable to just leave them there he knelt down to them, ripped off parts of his own clothes to wrap around them as makeshift bandages and left them all the food he gathered so far whilst telling them to keep living, that they shouldnt have to die like this. Once making sure the lamb will be fine alone he left, thinking he can just collect some more food anyway.
Around 3 - 4 years pass and in that time 4 of the siblings were gravely injured. Shamura suffered a devistating blow to the head from someone they stole food from, cracking their skull just enough to keep them alive but also to damage the brain. Kallamar's ears were ripped off by other homeless people that succumbed to insanity. Heket's throat was slit by an older, privileged child who thought it was funny after Heket expressed that she didn't want anything to do with them. Leshy's eyes were all shot during a heist, requiring his siblings to gouge out the remains. It's unclear how they survived all that. From then on the siblings, espacially Narinder, decided that murder is okay and justified if necessary.
More years pass and they reach their current ages. Due to a dispute they're chased out of the current ally they lived in for a long time. Now they're on the search for a new home, but it's very hard. Once they're on the other side of town, where they've never been before, yet still unable to find a suitable place especially Shamura starts to despair, blaming themself internally for being unable to help their siblings. Narinder and Kallamar do their best to try and reassure them.
One night, as they're wandering, they get found by a lamb dressed in rags, covered in scars and dirt and wearing a bag, they're around Narinder's age, who smiles kindly at them and offers a hand, promising a secure home and food. All of the siblings distrust this child, however out of necessity Shamura feels forced to accept the offer, they take the lambs hand. The lamb's smile turns gentler as they introduce themself as Belphy before starting to lead the way.
Belphy leads them to an old, abandoned factory at the outskirts of town, in which are several children of various ages and states, some coming to greet Belphy and asking if they brought new friends. At first the siblings don't trust anyone, keeping to eachother instead of interacting with the others, however eventually Leshy starts to get along with a yellow cat barely younger than him and with a missing arm. Heket becomes friends a bunny girl, who's quite the oddball, detesting touch in one moment and then clinging to Heket the next. Seeing their siblings get along with the other children Shamura and Kallamar also slowly start interacting with the others. However, Narinder only really socializes with Belphy, as they seem to cling to him whenever they're not busy. Seeing them first as an annoyance, Narinder soon learns to trust and appreciate this strange lamb. He also learns that this is the lamb he helped many years ago, being the leading cause of Belphy helping other children in need too.
However, Narinder notices some very odd behaviour from Belphy. He can't say what exactly it is, but it bothers him. But no matter how often he decides to trail them when they go out, they seem to always be a step ahead of him, greeting him with a sweet smile and going home with him before he could even get a rough glance of anything the lamb was doing. Whenever he asks questions Belphy smoothly avoids them or tells him not to worry about it, that everything is fine and nothing's out of the ordinary. Narinder can't help but get a bit scared, though. Because as nice and sweet as the lamb is, whatever they hide, he knows they must hide something, must be horrifying.
But one day, on the day he finds out. This time he wasn't even trailing Belphy, he was just out on a walk of his own when he suddenly heard a scream. He hid behind the corner and glanced into the back ally, having never seen something so horrifying before. In the ally was a bloodbath, Belphy in the middle of it, surrounded by two or three gruesomely mutilated corpses. Belphy licked the blood off their hand with a terrifyingly satisfied smile as the black knife in their other hand turned into a black snake with only a red eye as a face and curled around their arm, conveniantly hidden under the fleece. Confused by the transformation of the knife-snake they looked at their arm "Hmm? What was that for? I'm not done yet." As they look up again their eyes meet Narinders and Narinders blood runs cold as he freezes. His heart beats up and almost out of his chest as Belphys smile softens and they walk torwards him, covered in blood. The closer Belphy gets, the faster and louder Narinders heart beats as he squeezes his eyes shut.
Despite his expectations Belphy just gently cups his face, pulls his head down to their height and leans their forehead against his. They gently caress him and with a soft and gentle voice they attempt to soothe him, telling him that everything is okay, that he is okay and that he doesnt have to be scared. They tell him to breathe. To Narinders own surprise this works unexpectedly well and he manages to steady his breathing and calm down a little, however once he can move again he moves away from Belphy, opening his eyes only for a glare as his fear turns to fury. Narinder hisses not to touch him.
Belphy smiles and puts their hands in the air to show they're not a threat, the snake, now more exposed, stares at Narinder. When Narinder demands answers, Belphy complies with no hesitation.
They tell him that the snake found Belphy several years ago, not too long after their first encounter with Narinder. It said it needed blood and if Belphy provides it'll help them in turn too. So as proof it turned into a black crown with its red eye in the middle, its true form it said, and sat on Belphys head, healing every wound as good as it could it its weakened state. Once Belphy agreed to do it the crown now turned into a combat knife. Belphy only ever kills adults. When they first killed they let out all their pain and sorrows, following the crown's advice to make it easier, and as a result they came to like it. Torturing and killing adults, the ones that made their life so horrible in the first place. Now these despicable creatures are at their mercy as they scream and cry in pain, just like the lamb did too, before taking their lifes at last. Over the years they also grew fond of the taste of their victim's blood and flesh, what once was a necessity now was a guilty pleasure, allthough, they added, they cannot stand the smell.
Belphy reassures Narinder, who is a mix of heavily disturbed and (for reasons he doesnt quite understand) somewhat unfazed, that they won't ever harm him, the other children and his siblings, not now and not when they're all grown. They also make him promise to please not tell anyone, not even his siblings, before suggesting he can help them if he'd like.
With that Narinder is now Belphys partner in crime. He did come with them on a few massacres, he calls it that because of how messy Belphy is, and whilst he's still somewhat disturbed, mainly by Belphy's cannibalistic tendencies and a level of merciless sadism he didn't expect of them considering their sweet and gentle demeanour, he can't help but admit that he also bears a deep rooted spite for adults and that this is a great way to vent all this pain, it made him discover he might also be more sadistic than he thought. Maybe murder for fun was okay and not just a necessity.
Yet all of this still bothered him. Deep inside he was not only scared of Belphy but also himself. Shamura noticed Narinder's off behaviour and after weeks, maybe months, of observing him they finally asked what's going on. Narinder's deep trust in Shamura makes him forget about the promise he made and so he tells the everything. Everything about Belphy, the murders, his own sadistic tendencies, his fears and worries about all of this. Shamura didn't say much about it. They just held him close as he spoke.
It took less than a day for Belphy to find out. They're not happy. And Narinder is going to feel the consequences of a broken promise. Some cuts and bruises, maybe a broken bone or two, but nothing more than a severed finger. They care too much about him to do more. They cant bring themself to do more. So this'll do. It should teach Narinder to keep a promise next time.
They did it. They hurt him. As much as they hate seeing him scared, him accepting their embrace for comfort afterwards was very nice, considering how often he told them to not touch him. Maybe they'll ask the crown to heal Narinder, the message they wanted to send seemed to arrive so there's no need for him to be in even more pain.
AND THATS ALL I HAVE FOR NOW :D Thank you so much reading through this! If you have any questions about the AU and characters etc, feel free to ask!!
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