#he just feels like THAT teenage boy who realized that certain songs can be genuinely enjoyable AND inflict psychic damage on certain people

[slime-hoe]

I am once again brought down to my knees by the knowledge that Billy Hargrove would 100% vibe with WAP if only because it’s exceptionally vulgar and makes people horny and or embarrassed .

[luka-couffaine-ship-tournament]

Final

CAMPAIGN

Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

-They‘re just so good for each other. Luka is such a calming presence in Marinette‘s chaotic life and helps her relax when she feels anxious and unsure of herself, always willing to be there for her and offer a helping hand during tough times. Marinette has a deep appreciation not only for Luka‘s ability to play music but also hear heart songs, as if she understood immediately what he meant after listening to him play for the first time. They feed off each other‘s creative energy and are just generally so wholesome together. I could talk about them forever, they make me so happy!!

-Luka is the best boy, and deserves love from the girl he adores

-Luka/Marinette had 3900 works on AO3

-I just woke up and am too lazy to think of words for my favorite couple so here's some gifs as propaganda

Gif de gifs-misc

Gif de bizarrelovesquare

Gif de notasiren21

Gif de ouiladybug

Gif de kochengnoir

Gif de jeldraximo14

Gif de notasiren21

-

Oh my god

They are literal soulmates

in every regard

You cannot change my mind

And not only because Luka is best boy and goes above and beyond for Marinette and gives her the most beautiful love confession in the entire show

It is because they literally have the most special and unique connection from every couple in the show, not only romantic but also platonic

It starts off with captain hardrock, the first time they meet, they‘re a little awkward at first, until he invites her to sit and Luka plays out Marinette‘s heart

And she doesn‘t judge him or thinks he‘s weird or is confused. She gives him a look of curiousness and of genuine admiration and asks „how do you do that?“

She immediately realized Luka is special for his gift of hearing people‘s hearts. And I can easily imagine that people would see Luka as weird and cringe (like parts of the fandom did), so imagine what it must‘ve been like to get appreciation for something like that. She‘s impressed and wants to learn more.

They interacted for about two minutes at this point and they‘re already smitten by each other.They already have a wholesome dynamic that feels so realistic for two teenagers who are attracted to each other. Again, after two minutes of meeting.

And it goes on through the episode, speaking highly about each other and Luka basically self-sacrificing himself so Marinette can escape

(I‘m certain he knew Marinette would come back for everyone one way or another. And she did)

An amazing set up for an amazing couple🩷💙

From there on every time we see them together when they‘re (not to be salty) not undermined by another ship they keep being there for each other through hard ships

Their both artistic kids and respect and admire the other for it (See Silencer, the best episode of the whole show)

It also just shows that Luka isn‘t the center of Marinette‘s life. Instead she‘s a girl with ambition who just happens to have a crush on a guy. Silencer is her being the best version of herself and Luka doesn‘t actively try to change her. He‘s literally just existing around her. For show‘s standards that‘s incredible. It takes away the one thing people don‘t like about her, what more could you want?

And then when their music gets stolen, Marinette literally starts beef with Bob Roth, a super influential man in the industry who could destroy them both, just to save Luka‘s music from getting stolen! She’s not even afraid or second guesses herself, she just goes all in and threathens him to reveal everything on live tv.

Wife material through and through.

Which leads to the most wholesome confession in the entire show. Not only as an akuma

BUT LATER AS REGULAR LUKA

AND MARINETTE IS SO TOUCHED BY IT

And by the end of season 3, they give the relationship a shot. Without Mari pretending she‘s over Adrien, but with full honesty about her feelings. And that‘s really the most fair way they could‘ve gone about it. They don‘t promise each other wedding rings and kids, they‘re just two people in love who wanna create art and have them be muses for each other and just like each other without any pressure from outside. It really those silent moments where it‘s just them where Marinette is her best self and Luka is his best self.

They are so so SO GOOD for each other.

„But Blueberry, Marinette broke up with him and lied to Luka!“

RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME

The problems these two had ultimately were never intrinsic problems that they fundamentally don‘t work together as people, it‘s really outside forces keeping them apart. Had Marinette not been LB, they would‘ve literally had no reason for a break up and crushes on other people are things people can get over.

Plus, even as exes they keep being there for each other, having a wholesome and healthy friendship. That‘s a big deal! Nice hard feeling or anything, they just want what‘s best for each other, even if they aren’t a couple anymore.

And yet still look at each other like this

And just overall being super touchy with each other

And put the safety over the other above their own values, even though it means they have to lie about what they know. It hurts both of them but you know how it is, nothing hurts like true love. And yet they forgive each other because they never wanted to intentionally hurt each other

They‘re still SO in love with each other argue with a wall.

(Also it‘s this episode when Mari says „you always find the right words“ even though in Luka‘s introduction he says he‘s not good with words. I bet 1000000€ Marinette was the one which helped Luka be a better communicator with words. The support for each other always went both ways I know it they told me)

But even just as platonic buddies, look me in the eye and tell me that these two will not have each other in their lives forever, I dare you. If one of them jumps into danger, the other jumps after them. If one of them has troubles of any sort, the other will listen, because they know nobody will understand them as good as each other.

They‘re ride or die forever and I think that‘s fucking beautiful. So yeah folks, show the blueberries some love because they deserve the recognition just like they deserve each other🫐🩷💙

Thanks for coming to my propaganda ted talk

Luka Couffaine/Therapy

-Therapy... so much therapy

-As much as I ship Lukadrinette and all its sides, Luka/Therapy should 100% win, lol

-So many of the propagandas for other ships (outside of two or three) were about what Luka could do for the other person, not how they were the best match for him! That means our boy needs to go get some professional help (therapy) so he doesn't become everyone's personal 'fix-it' guy/partner!

TAG:

Luka/Marinette: @mikoriin

Luka - Twitter @Karma_sensei_

@lukacouffaineappreciation

[tuffduff]

#1 Fan (Axl Rose x Reader)

Pairing: Axl Rose x Reader

Words: 2,043

Request: @normatural “Hii, hope you’re doing fine! Could you write some Axl (current or 80’s) x reader, where she’s a famous young (20s) actress and they go to a talk show/interview together? It’s okay if you don’t feel like writing :)) Thank you xx”

A/N: Hello, love! I went with 80s Axl for this one, and lemme tell ya, I LOVE this request so much. I love ideas like these, thank you for requesting! Happy Friday loves! <3

Taglist: @ubernoxa @the--blackdahlia​ @reigns420​ @stradlin-cold-heartbreaker​ @rumoured-whispers​ @dustnbones​

“Critics have already been calling The Winter Trials your breakout film. This is also your first action movie. What was it like filming and working as a lead role opposing Arnold Schwarzenegger?”

For you, doing media to promote your movies was one of your favorite parts of the job. That is, when you got to actually engage in intellectual talk rather than just details of your diet. But this late-night talk show appearance had you more nervous than most.

“It was an awesome experience. Getting into acting, I’ve never wanted to do only one genre, I’ve always wanted to do different types of work. He’s an absolute workhorse and a true professional, which is such a privilege to be around because your company really elevates your own mindset. And he’s so kind! He really helped bring out the best in me.” The talk show host nodded at your words.

“Well, I know I can’t wait to see it and I’m sure the rest of the world feels the same; you’ve really been working hard the past few years to make a name for yourself. Do you have time for anything else? Do you watch MTV?” You laughed despite feeling your stomach drop; you had a feeling this was a segue point.

“Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I love MTV.” You shifted nervously on the small loveseat you were seated on.

“Have you heard of Guns N’ Roses?” The crowd cheered, mainly the women. You pressed a smile on your lips, hoping the camera couldn’t see you sweating.

“Yeah, of course.” You replied evenly. On the inside, you were screaming. You were a huge fan of Guns N’ Roses. When Appetite for Destruction came out, it was the only thing you listened to for months straight. And if there were any other guest appearing on the show with you, you would probably be gushing over that fact.

But your fellow guest star was in fact Axl Rose, and you couldn’t lose your cool. You were actually certain he probably had no idea who you were. He probably didn’t care.

He had a bad boy reputation, known to fly into a frenzy at a moment’s notice. You were America’s current sweetheart.

Ever since you found out you would be appearing on the show with Axl Rose, the only thing you could think about was his reaction to you. He probably thought you were boring, uptight, and some actress snob. He was probably disappointed it wasn’t Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“What do you think of them?” The host asked.

“I think they’re very talented.” The crowd clapped in agreement and you took a breath before you added, “I think their album actually is the greatest debut album of all time. Of any genre.” The crowd cheered louder in agreement and the host’s eyes went wide.

“Wow. Are you just saying that because of our other guest this evening?” You laughed a little and shook your head.

“No! I’m being honest. I don’t ever get asked about my music opinions.” You admitted. If Axl held a certain disdain for you, or no opinion at all, it couldn’t hurt to put your honest feelings out in the open. Right?

“Well, alright then—let’s talk music! Don’t go away, up next we’ve got Axl Rose joining us!” The crowd cheered and clapped in anticipation. You smiled and clapped with the audience, knowing Axl himself was in the back waiting to come out.

Sooner than you expected, the show came back and the girls in the front row were screaming exceptionally loud as Axl walked out. He was instantly an intimidating sight in his leather chaps over his blue jeans, thick studded snakeskin belt paired with an LA club tank top and black leather vest. You swallowed nervously as you clapped, realizing the loveseat you were sitting on would barely provide enough space for the two of you. You saw the host stand to greet him with a handshake and scrambled up to your feet, remembering etiquette. Oh god, were your hands clammy? Was your top wrinkled from where you were sitting? You didn’t even have time to think because as soon as he shook the host’s hand, he was turning to you.

There was something immediately disarming about him. You’d seen the magazine covers and music videos of a rough and tough arms-crossed-and-covered-in-tattoos man, but now, here, he didn’t even look like the same person. He was smiling pleasantly at you and his face was incredibly clear. Smooth and frustratingly beautiful, like a sculpted Greek statue. His hair wasn’t ratty and teased and sprayed in Aqua Net like other rock stars. Instead, it rested against his shoulders neatly, shining a delicate strawberry blonde in the studio’s lighting. Even his handshake as he grabbed yours in his was gentle. You weren’t expecting him to lean forward and kiss your cheek.

“How are you?” You heard him ask next to your ear. It wasn’t small talk other famous people made for appearances, he genuinely pulled back and waited for your answer.

“Good.” You were able to murmur in reply. You could smell his cologne and almost felt your knees weaken.

“W. Axl Rose! Guns N’ Roses!” You heard the host say and you were suddenly reminded this was an interview. You sat back down again and Axl followed your lead. Your legs instantly brushed, and you wondered if you should’ve tried to scoot over, but decided to stay frozen, waiting for him to be the one to move. He didn’t. His leg stayed against yours, brushing yours with his every time he moved ever so slightly. “How are you? How’s the band?”

“Good. We’re really good. We just got done touring for our last album. We’re all taking a short break and getting everything in order before we head back to the studio and start working on the next album.”

“Right, yes. I’m sure everyone’s heard it, Appetite for Destruction?” The host checked with the crowd who cheered and clapped in response. The host turned to you, a teasing gleam in his eyes. “We all know Y/N has.” You could feel your cheeks heating up and you looked down at your lap, unable to even look at the man next to you, though you were pretty sure you heard him laugh. You were eating your words now. “But what I found interesting is, in the beginning, MTV wouldn’t even play your videos. The album didn’t even get notoriety until a whole year later, which doesn’t happen. How did that make you guys feel, Axl?”

“Uh, I mean, it’s kind of disheartening. When you put so much work into something and everything is against you, it only makes you want something more. We had to claw our way to where we are now.” You listened carefully to his words, surprised by how well-spoken and articulate his response was. And his voice, smooth and deep, so different than the earth-shaking screams he could produce. “But, in the end I guess it all worked out. If Y/N thinks we’re good, then we’ve really accomplished something great.” You looked up quickly at the sound of your name. The host and crowd laughed, and at first you assumed Axl was being sarcastic until you saw the smile on his face. One of earnest, with his eyes lighting up a little when you finally met his. You smiled back at him, laughing a little as you relaxed.

“Are you surprised Y/N listens to your band?” The host asked.

“Oh, yeah. It’s a real trip—I almost lost my mind back there while I was listening and waiting to come out because,” Axl shifted in his seat, facing you with his body. Somehow, he managed to appear bold and yet bashful at the same time. “I’m a really big fan of yours. I almost considered canceling this appearance because I was so nervous.” The host and crowd were delighted at his revelation, but you could only sit there with your mouth open.

“…Me? You were nervous to meet me?” You managed to get out. There was no way you could hide the blush on your face now.

“Yeah. I’ve been a fan of yours ever since Don’t You Remember?” You blinked a few times in amazement. That movie had been filmed years ago, when you were barely breaking into the film world. It was a romantic and sentimental 1800s period piece.

“No one’s seen that.” You laughed in amazement, making the crowd laugh too. Axl only smiled sincerely at you, and all of a sudden you felt like a giddy teenager again.

“I have. I liked the title and the cover when I saw it in the rental store. I don’t really watch movies, but I watch all of yours. I go back to that one all the time.” You were speechless. “Yeah, I think you’re incredibly talented. I’d really love it if you starred in one of our music videos someday.” The crowd cheered in agreement.

“I would love that!” You couldn’t help but blurt out. “So much. I’ve never done a music video, but I would love to do one with you guys.”

The rest of the interview went pretty smooth, with Axl shedding a little light on some of the song’s inspirations, what Guns N’ Roses hoped to accomplish in the future, and upcoming tentative tour dates. But it was when you were both backstage together again that you felt the most nervous, just the two of you.

“You know, I meant everything out there. I wasn’t bullshitting you for TV or something.” He told you. Without the noise of the crowd or studio, the deepness of his voice struck you even more.

“I meant it too. I had no idea you were gonna be so…” you struggled to find the right word. Charming. Interesting. Insightful. “…not scary.” You finished lamely. He laughed warmly, but you noticed he stepped closer.

“Did I scare you before?”

“I…didn’t think you even knew who I was,” you admitted. “I mean, your band has this reputation, and I get it. More than you probably know. The media likes to twist you around and paint you a certain way. But I can see there’s a lot more to you than what everyone else thinks they know.” He listened intently every time you spoke, and now, his eyes continued to search yours for a long moment after you were done speaking.

“I think all the hype about you is true. And you’re more beautiful in person.” You were a nervous mess, practically giggling like a school girl at his compliment. “…But I agree with you. And I want to know the things about you no one else knows.”

That was it; you gave Axl your personal number and he called you that next night. The magazines, radio, and TV had a field day with your interview segment and rumors ran rampant of the two of you crushing on each other. The world was obsessed with the idea of the two of you together. Polar opposites—the rebellious rock star and the polished starlet.

There was a mad frenzy the first time you two met for dinner, with pictures in the magazines and tabloids for weeks after. You and Axl then agreed to have secret rendezvous in disguises at odd times of the day and night, the two of you sneaking around and going off to hole in the wall restaurants far from the prying eyes of Hollywood.

As time went on, you kept your relationship very private, though neither of you failed to mention the other in interviews or speeches. You went to each other’s award shows, movie premieres, and concerts. You became the “Guns N’ Roses” girl, appearing in every single video afterwards on starting with “Don’t Cry.” Axl even wrote a song for one of your movies. The both of you were obsessed with each other, always one another’s biggest fan, always celebrating every accomplishment together. Out of any accolade you could attain regarding your professional career, nothing could ever top the true happiness of a partner who loved, cherished, and respected the blood, sweat, and tears you put into your craft. And with Axl, you had that, as he did with you.

[zodiyack]

Teenage Dream (III)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive/adult themes, ittie bit o’ fluff, angst

Words: 1,215

(Series) Summary: A woman, in his life prior to the war, has suddenly reentered Tommy’s life, leaving him just as longing as she did when he were just a teen. A romance blossomed and wilted long ago, but the garden is being watered again. Thomas is falling for her, again.

Theme Song For The Series: Teenage Dream (cover?) by T. Rex

Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @stydia-4-ever, @matth1w, @fandom-puff, @simonsbluee, @redspaceace-writes, @stuckysslag, @marquelapage, @peakyxtommy, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @psychkunox, @jenepleurepasbaby, @darling-i-read-it, @i-love-superhero​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders | Cillian Murphy Masterlist

Part I. Part II.  Part III. Part IV. (Coming Soon)

They hadn’t spoken since the night their lips touched for the first time in a long time. The contact between her soft lips and his own stirred old feelings. Tommy’s hand lifted to his lips often, right where hers were, and he could’ve sworn that he still felt them ghosting against his.

The fire she’d ignited in him, crackling as it’s lively flames danced, was spreading, from his heart, to his dick, before every part of him was alight. Every single fucking part of his being was burning for her. Yearning for her. Craving her.

Like a teen boy, he thought of her whilst making himself come undone. He relished in every memory he had of her as his hand worked himself. Her name was mumbled- even shouted at times- more than once in his bedroom. Tommy was this far gone, but he knew, deep down- he knew, he would only go father in a matter of time.

At the Garrison? He’d seriously expected her to stray as far as she could from the place, especially after she’d learned that he was constantly there, but he’d guessed wrongly, as she was right there in front of his eyes. She was more drunk than he’d ever seen her in public. The two used to get drunk together, so the state wasn’t new, but she always controlled her alcohol when she was in the sights of others who weren’t Tommy.

“Fuck!” She slurred, leaning against the counter. “Get me s’more, would you?” A giggle left her mouth despite there being nothing to laugh about.

He sighed. While he should go to the private room and join his brothers, he couldn’t just leave her to make a fool of herself. Walking over to her, the calm veneer cloaking his worry, he took the drink from her hands.

“Hey! Who the fuck do you think you- ...Tommy?” It seemed as though she only called him that when they were together and, just now discovered, when she’s drunk. “Well well well. Look who finally decided to stop fucking hiding from me.” She hiccupped but payed no mind to it.

“I’m not hiding from you, Y/n.”

“I can see that. I’m talking about every other day. You know, the ones where you’re pretending I don’t exist?” She raised a brow and shifted on her feet.

“I’m not pretending you don’t exist either.”

“Yes you a-”

“You’re drunk, Y/n. Let me take you home.”

She paused before furrowing her eyebrows and frowning. “I’m not hic fucking drunk. I’m perfectly fine, and I don’t need you to hic take me home.” Conflicting her words, hiccups and broken slurs earned a roll of Tommy’s eyes.

“I’m taking you home.” He went to grab her arm before she yanked it away violently, swatting her glass off the counter. Her shoulders grew heavy with anger.

“You’re taking me home? After you decided to fucking leave me there, puzzled out of my fucking marbles!? After you left me there with absolutely no fucking context to the words that you dumped onto me?! After you fucking ki-” His hand flew over her mouth, people in the pub starring.

“We can talk outside.”

Y/n shoved him harshly, crying out in pain, her wound still not yet healed completely. Nevertheless, she pushed through the agony and continued to swing her fists at Tommy. He caught her wrists and gave her the sternest look he could muster. “We’re talking outside.” Tommy drawled with a bitter taste to his tone. He was only trying to help her. Sober her would’ve thanked him.

He didn’t know how, but he convinced her to let him take her to his place. On the car ride there, he pointed out that her hand had been cut from the shards of her broken glass. She didn’t reply, instead staring at her new wound until they’d arrived. Now, sitting on his bed, he patched her up the best he could.

“How does that feel?”

“Stings like a bitch but I’ll be fine.”

He chuckled softly. “I don’t doubt that.”

Her posture relaxed. She felt somewhat comfortable with Thomas, despite picking a fight with him less than an hour ago. The feeling brought her to contemplate and realize her actions. Guilt swam around her gut.  “I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“Causing that scene. Fighting you.” She looked down at her hand, wrapped in bandage and properly cared for by the one person she thought she wanted to forget. “...Breaking one of your glasses.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“But I do, Thomas. It was childish and utterly disgusting behavior. I should’ve just asked you instead of being a coward and drinking away every fucking feeling I have. I want to be human, not some emotionless drunk-” She looked over at Tommy, a guilty look replacing her concentrated expression, “no offense, Tom.”

“None taken.” He nodded with a chuckle.

“I want to hate you, I want to so fucking bad, but I can’t. Nothing I do could ever make me genuinely hate you and I hate you for that. Except, I know it’s not real hate, and that only pisses me off more. I wish I could hate you.”

They sat in silence a little longer before her words at the pub tugged at Tommy ceaselessly. “Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“At the Garrison, when you were yelling at me, what were you going to say about me kissing you?”

“For one, you left me with a bullet in my gut-” She seethed through clenched teeth.

“My mistake.” Deep down, so high near the surface, everywhere- Tommy felt guilt for his act of abandonment. “I got distracted.” 

“By what?”

He reminded her of his question asked only a few seconds prior, “By the topic I’d like you to explain to me.”

“Oh...” Her eyes drifted off the side, avoiding his. “Yes, I was going to tell you that... That it confused me. That it had me so fucking bewildered, I couldn’t sleep or even think.” She blinked, as if tracing a memory. “It felt like your lips were still against mine, even now the feeling hasn’t faded, but it ran me up a wall. I knew you couldn’t be mine, so I drank those longing thoughts and feelings away. Every night since.”

“Why can’t I be yours?”

“Because...I don’t know. I just feel like...well, I’m not certain.” Y/n yawned. “But that kiss was the best thing that happened to me. Made reason in my life after I thought all my reason was gone. Yeah... Goodnight, Tommy.” She lied back and curled into his side, gripping his shirt lightly and nuzzling her face into his chest. Tommy wanted to stay there, hold her and revel in her warmth, but he couldn’t.

He picked her up and carried her to his car before driving her home. The key was in her purse, next to a photo of him- which he missed whilst digging around for her key. Tommy unlocked the door and pushed it open, taking Y/n up to her room and setting her on the bed. He lifted the sheets up to her neck, smiling as he watched her nestle the side of her face into her pillow.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” He kissed her forehead lightly and looked at her one last time. Then, he left.

[jaejena]

i see the light. — s, jake.

Now she’s here, shining in the starlight Now she’s here, suddenly I know If she’s here, it’s crystal clear I’m where I’m meant to go.

— now playing : i see the light by mandy moore and zachary levi.

— genre : fluff. — warning(s) : a group of teenagers talking shit and and swearing some. wrote this as a sleep deprived student. — word count : 1.3 k. — author’s note : this can be read as a standalone, but this is also a romantic ending to the platonic one shot i have for jake.

Perhaps it was the dance you shared together at prom, swaying so close together that you realized that you cared about Jake in a different way compared to the rest of your friends. 

You’d convinced yourself that you didn’t need Jake to remain by your side as more than a friend. You were perfectly content with the friendship you shared. That still stands as the truth.

But maybe your heart ached a bit more because you knew that he deserved more than how he was being treated. You wanted to hold his face close to yours and say that he’s loved not for the gifts he gives but for who he is.

So after a derailed conversation about former high school classmates, the local Disney Store now has to deal with a group of teenagers browsing around while talking shit about Jake’s former high school crush of two years. Everyone is emotionally invested.

It’s Euijoo who seems to dig up all the details, inspecting an Edna Mode mug in hand, “Didn’t she get a whole group chat to gang up on you because she didn’t want you talking to some other girl?”

Nicholas whirls around with a Stitch plushie in hand, “And if I hadn’t given her a talk she would’ve made you decide on an ultimatum?”

Jay doesn’t miss a beat, “And when she kept you waiting at prom? When she was the one who promised you a dance?��

Sunghoon gestures at you, “And when Y/N was the one who had to dance with you in the end because she prioritized the guys who didn’t like her the way she knew you did?”

Nicholas shakes his head, “Man, fuck her.”

Euijoo whips around from the shelf of mugs, raising a finger to his lips, “We’re in a Disney Store!”

There’s a lull, but not for long.

Jay is perusing the figures on display, “And let’s not even start on the stuff you’ve given her.”

And now you’re thinking about the stuff she’s been gifted. All the bracelets, rings, and chocolates. Your hand itches to smack Jay.

Euijoo lamely comforts Jake, “At least you didn’t shower her with overpriced Disney merch?”

You intervene in the conversation, wanting to keep your mind off of her, but most importantly Jake’s. “Alright, I think that’s enough about her.” You ambiguously wave your hands around, “Let’s look around!”

Everybody seems to be on the same page on that. You’re relieved. The group splits to their area of interest.

You go wander straight into the costume section, taking in all the colourful and shimmery fabric sewed together for tiny children. They’re all eye-catching and well-made. 

The little kids have it good these days, you huffed.

You continue to make your way around the store, now conscious of the tunes playing overhead. Charming and child-like music sound all around the store. You can’t help but have a small smile on your face as you take everything in in front of you.

Your steps slow as you set your sights on a display of plastic crowns, all stacked on top and beside each other in their plastic packaging. They’re all vividly coloured and designed according to each Disney Princess. You easily recognize each respective crown, their classic motif and colours implemented on each crown, but you stop at a certain tiara.

It’s the one representing Tangled. There’s a deep-coloured amethyst insignia in the middle of a gold tiara, accented with the story crucial Sundrop Flowers and encrusted with little pearls and red rhinestones.

You hear Jake joke from behind, feeling his presence right by you, “I’m jealous of kids, Disney didn’t have any of these when we were little.” He looks at the stack of crowns, “The fanciest things back then were the pencil cases with those hidden compartments.”

You crack a grin, “Right?” Your hands reach for the Tangled theme tiara, “I would’ve loved these as a kid.”

“I don’t see why we can’t treat ourselves now.” You’re sure Jake is talking about the accessory in hand, but you shake your head.

“I’m broke,” you put the box back, “maybe someday, though.” 

“You want me to buy it for you?”

“What?” You give him a disapproving look, “Jake, I don’t need it. You don’t need to buy it for me.”

“You can take it as a gift?”

“For what exactly?”

That’s when Jake pauses, shrugging as he searches for an answer, “As a thank you?” When he sees you look on at him, he elaborates, “For being there for me.”

You’re not sure what he means. 

Was he talking about your friendship in general? Or was it for your dance with him at prom when he’d fruitlessly waited for somebody else?

Whatever it was, you let out a light laugh, “Jake, I’m your friend.” You give him an affectionate nudge, “I would fight the world for you. I don’t need a gift for that.”

You try to ignore that you’ve taken note of the soft look in his eyes.

You give him one more smile before you walk off, gravitating to the tiers of plushies stacked on top of each other. Pulling out a large-sized Winnie the Pooh, it lugs over your arm as you take your sweet time recognizing each classic Disney character. A certain melody catches your ear.

The iconic duet in Tangled. The fond smile on your face is undeniable, charmed into swaying with the plush in your arms. You’re softly humming as you spot Jake still at the table of plastic crowns, already looking at you with a glint in his eye. He knew how much you loved this song. He gives you a smile before turning into the Marvel aisle.

Maybe it’s the music working its magic, but you feel your heart swell with love and confidence.

You would fight the world for him.

And just like Rapunzel, you didn’t realize that it was a look of pure adoration that had been sent your way.

The six of you continue to spend a good chunk of time indulging the children in yourselves. The boys had blazed through the store and made their way to buy what called to them while you’d only browsed through half the area.

Nicholas had so much fun using the interactive wands with the store’s magic mirror that he decided he couldn’t leave the place without one. 

You giggle as Nicholas pays at the cashier counter, a Sleeping Beauty themed wand in hand and delight written all over his face. Next to him, Euijoo looks relieved. You found out he had to talk Nicholas out of buying one of the tiny costume dresses out of curiosity. “But I want to see what it looks like!” Nicholas said.

Though it would’ve been nice to see him try it on.

Jay is right behind him in line, Marvel merch in his hands. Right beside him, he’s managed to stick a soon-to-be-purchased floral Mickey Mouse headband onto Sunghoon’s head after a little protest from the latter.

You think Sunghoon looks great.

“Y/N.”

You nearly jump, whirling around to see Jake smiling sheepishly.

In his hands is the tiara that you had admired, already taken out of its packaging. 

“Jake.” Your shoulders deflate. You push through your state of disbelief, looking up to him, “You didn’t need to.”

“I wanted to.” Jake insists, motioning you to step closer.

You do as he asks, blinking in surprise when his hand reaches out to push your hair away from your face. 

Jake looks at peace. There is a strong sense of confidence in him, not a single doubt evident on his face nor on his mind. He turns the tiara around to face away from him, reassuring you, “This isn’t a ‘thank you’ gift.”

That’s when realization dawns on you. 

As he crowns you with the tiara, you understand what it truly means. 

A gift out of love.

His warm hands reach out to hold your face, gently lifting up to admire you. Jake gazes into your eyes and your heart flips in your chest.

You recognize a familiar look in them. It’s the one that you’ve seen in the past two years. One that hadn’t been for you until now.

He sees you, just as how you see him.

You place your hands on top of his, savouring how they feel against yours. You’re gleaming bright, with all the genuine love you’ve always had for him.

“Thank you.”

[everybodyscupoftea]

idk you yet: next up forever

reggie peters x oc

and if you’re broken. you’ll make your own thing

There was nothing quite like the rush of playing in front of a large crowd. Reggie loved the band’s chemistry in the garage they used to practice in or the energy of small crowds they played for in the back rooms of record shops while they were trying to make it big, but there was no feeling greater than playing a stadium full of people screaming their name.

Luke loved it too, he ate it up, and he was always on fire, always at his best, which in turn fueled Alex to match his boyfriend’s energy, and Reggie could just feed off of them. When they got signed to their first big label, Reggie could just remember Luke’s flushed cheeks, his, “This is going to be great, guys. We’re going to be great.” 

“Legends, even,” Alex added.

Which Reggie thought maybe was a bit much, they were still young, still largely untested, but he loved the enthusiasm. Bobby was a bit more chill, probably the most levelheaded of them all, and the least driven by emotion, but even he was vibrating with excitement.

Then they started planning for a tour. Reggie hadn’t even realized a national tour was possible while they were still teenagers. Hell, he didn’t even realize releasing a full album was possible.

“Boy bands do it all the time, think about One Direction,” Bobby told him quietly while Luke chattered on to Alex about songs he’d written that he thought were perfect for a first album. Reggie was grateful Luke wasn’t the one to read his facial expression that clearly was showing some sort of doubt.

The first tour was incredible, smaller venues, but they sold most of them out. Sunset Curve was new and people were curious. The second tour was where it all became insanely real. Reggie can remember the day Luke ran into the garage, beaming.

He flopped on the couch, which wasn’t unusual, and propped his head up on his hand, “So, I talked to Drew today.” Their manager.

Alex hummed, sitting down next to him, “What about?” If Luke had gone and made decisions without the rest of them, he was the most likely to react in a way that wouldn’t hurt Luke’s feelings, but would still remind him that they were a group.

“He thinks we should do a world tour after releasing our second album.”

Reggie’s eyebrows shot up. He knew they were big, he knew they were popular in a few countries overseas, but he didn’t know they were world tour big. The other two boys were also shocked into silence. Their second album was fairly close to release, they’d released a single for it the week before, but a world tour already.

“Holy shit,” Bobby mumbled, and then a few seconds later, “holy shit!” 

“Yeah!” Luke was practically shaking as he jumped to his feet and onto the table, “Guys, this is it. We’ve made it.”

Reggie snorted, “Okay, well, we don’t know that the tour’s going to sell.” 

“It’ll sell,” Luke clearly had the confidence to carry the rest of the group through it, which Reggie could get behind. He couldn’t quite shake one of his mom’s lessons growing up: temper your excitement because things rarely go as planned.

So they got to work. They put the finishing touches on their second album, which did extremely well, some of the songs flying up the charts to the number one spot for a few days. They announced their tour, a few weeks later the dates and locations. Some arenas sold out within minutes. When they found that out, Luke bragged, not hesitating to throw in, “I told you so,” every time it came up. 

They planned a show, put together a list of their favorite songs off both their albums, worked out effects they wanted to put on something fun for their fans. Reggie was a lot more hands on in that process, not the most gifted with tech, but was the most interested in actually looking impressive outside of just the music.

Then they had to find an opening band. Someone who they could get along with, someone smaller that they could help get exposure. Reggie found them first, on YouTube, a couple called Double Trouble, also based in Los Angeles. After watching a few of their videos, Luke approved wholeheartedly and got Drew to contact them. Double Trouble was ecstatic, and thus, the details were finalized.

And the tour was great, they started in the South and worked their way up the Midwest, hit a few cities in Canada, down the East Coast and ended up home along the West Coast for a few shows. 

Reggie was constantly exhausted, it felt like a daze. Travel, play, adrenaline rush, eat, crash, repeat. And everything was great, they played consistently well, and after a few shows, he thought they really got the routine down pat. It worked really well for them, and the boys were thrilled with all the choices Reggie made.

The only problem was that it got lonely. He felt like he was surrounded by couples. Luke and Alex, Julie and Flynn, Bobby and his girlfriend that showed up every so often when she could get off work. Reggie was truly the only one alone. Which was fine, they were busy, but sometimes, sometimes the loneliness was heavy.

It all built, crushing him slowly as they crawled their way through tour, more and more dinners after the show feeling like a double date he was just crashing while Bobby stayed in to FaceTime his girlfriend.

October

When it finally overflowed was after their show in San Jose. It sold out, most of their California shows did, and that one was especially incredible to him. The fucking SAP Center. He knew a lot of their fans were Californians, that’s where they got their start, but he wasn’t prepared for that. 

They went to a local place, something small that they likely wouldn’t be recognized much at, and once again, he got the double date vibe. The couples talking lowly amongst each other, relaxed and comfortable, while Reggie picked at the straw paper on the table and stuck it to the condensation on his beer bottle.

He wasn’t sure if it was the fatigue that made him snap or just that the weight of his loneliness got too much to bear, he was out of his seat before his brain caught up and mumbled for them to get him something takeout, that he was going back to the bus.

Luke started to protest, hopping out of the booth to grab his arm, but he must’ve seen something on Reggie’s face that caused him to reluctantly drop his arm. Reggie wasn’t sure what expression he had, but it must’ve been something raw to make Luke give up that easily. Eyes burning, he shoved his hands in his pocket and left the restaurant, desperate to crash in his bunk and sleep it off.

Shoulders slumped, Reggie headed back toward the arena, staring at the cracks in the concrete as he walked, not wanting to attract even the slightest bit of attention. That’s when it happened.

-

William pretty much kept to a routine. It was easier for him, especially during the season, and it kept his dog happy. There was something that night, some anxiousness about the upcoming season maybe, that had him out and about after dark, walking Luna down the sidewalk near the arena.

There had been more traffic than usual that night, he wasn’t sure why, maybe a concert at SAP, but he wanted to see it. Before fans flocked there, and before he was contractually obligated to show up and be on top of his game. 

It was something he did in college too, sat in the bleachers right before the season and soaked in the stillness of the rink. The calm before the storm. He couldn’t get into the big arena, not without keys and a certain level of clearance he didn’t have, but he could walk around, using the facade of taking Luna on a walk as his reason.

He almost ran into the boy, more focused on staring at the buildings around him than the sidewalk. It was late, he assumed no one would be out, clearly he was wrong. Luna barking and pulling on her leash snapped him out of his trance, confused as to why she’d be freaking out.

The boy obviously hadn’t seen him either, hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at the ground, and giving off huge leave me alone vibes. William almost recoiled, he looked so sad. But maybe sad wasn’t the right word. Morose maybe.

Luna could tell too, he thought. She was pretty perceptive like that. William only had to consider for half a second before giving in. Dogs always cheered people up, right? He let her pull him over until he was right in front of the boy who stumbled back at his sudden appearance, startled look on his face.

“Sorry,” William said quickly, trying to look as apologetic as possible, “didn’t mean to startle you.” 

The boy shrugged, staring at him inquisitively, eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure him out. It made him a little uneasy, but he figured maybe the boy was a hockey fan.

“Can I pet your dog?” he asked quietly, staring down at Luna where she was practically chomping at the bit to get to him.

“Yeah, of course!” 

William took the time to study him while the boy squatted down to pet her. He was cute, William realized, and looked slightly familiar, though he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe he was from the area or lived in William’s building.

The boy was gentle, murmuring quietly to Luna while stroking her head. He couldn’t be sure, but William thought his shoulders started to lower where they’d been defensively tensed around his ears before.

Luna jumped up, resting her two front paws on his knees, and licked his cheek, drawing a soft laugh. William immediately wanted to hear it again, he was entranced. Soon, too soon in William’s opinion, the boy was gently lowering Luna back to the sidewalk and standing back up.

He cleared his throat and gave William a small smile, “Thanks. Dogs fix everything.”

“I agree,” William answered quickly before taking his chance, “I’m William by the way.” 

“Reggie,” the boy answered, holding his hand out for William to shake. He did happily, trying to keep the shake out of his hands as excitement started to build.

“You from around here, Reggie?” he asked, genuinely curious and not wanting to let him go.

“Los Angeles actually.”

William couldn’t stop the frown, totally unsure why Reggie looked familiar. He hummed, “Sucks, NorCal is 100% a better place to live.”

Reggie laughed, “Oh yeah? Seems a bit biased.” 

“Totally unbiased,” William crossed a finger over his heart, “I’ve been there.”

“So you live around here?” Reggie crossed his arms.

“I do. A few blocks away.” 

“Seems a little late to be out and about.”

“Luna wanted a walk,” William told him, and in a rare state of perfect honesty, “plus was feeling a little anxious.”

“What about?” Reggie asked before flinching, “Oh God, I’m so sorry. That was super intrusive, feel free not to answer that.” 

William laughed, “Oh nothing, nerves over a new job.”

“Ah,” he nodded a bit knowingly, “stage fright.” 

Narrowing his eyes, William nodded slowly, “Something like that.” 

A comfortable silence lapsed, and Reggie’s eyes started to droop a bit. He blinked a few times and let out a sigh, “I should probably get going. It’s been a long night.” 

“Me too,” William smiled wryly, “should attempt to get at least a little sleep before I have to be up early.” 

“Feel that.” 

Just as soon as Reggie went to side step him, to walk away forever, William blurted, “Wait.” 

Reggie froze, head snapping up to meet his eyes, “Yes?” 

“Can I,” he drew in a breath and gathered his courage, “could I get your number?”

Tilting his head, Reggie looked him over, William could see the carefully masked surprise, “Um, yeah, sure.” 

William beamed, and held his hand out for Reggie’s phone. Eyebrows raised, Reggie passed it over. Typing in his number, William couldn’t help but add a shark emoji. Maybe it was a bit on the nose, but he thought it was at least a little funny.

Reggie wrinkled his eyebrows, but texted him to make sure William had his number too. His stomach swooped as it popped up on his screen.

Hey it’s Reggie

“Thank you,” he gushed, trying to mask his excitement a bit, “I’ll text you later.” 

Reggie smiled, and it seemed genuine, “I’m looking forward to it.”

-

Reggie was oddly nervous. He’d never met anyone quite like William, the boy who either didn’t know who he was or didn’t care. Laying in bed, he passed his phone back and forth between his hands, waiting for a text that didn’t seem to be coming.

Did he hallucinate William out of pure tiredness, he wondered, scrambling to check. Nope, he’d sent a text. Maybe William fell asleep as soon as he got home. Or forgot. 

A voice in his head that sounded oddly like Alex suggested, ‘text him’ which seemed a bit absurd at first, but the idea started to grow on him. Thumbs hovering over the keypad, he eventually came up with something simple.

Hope you made it home okay

The response wasn’t immediate, but came pretty soon after.

Just made it, was about to text you

Reggie smiled goofily, and stared at the message. Shaking his head, he knew he needed to respond.

Guess I’m just faster.

The next text from William was immediate.

Doubt it. Just more impatient.

Reggie snorted.

Also true.

The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times while Reggie waited with baited breath. 

So what are you up to?

Reggie hesitated, should he tell this boy who he was or keep it vague?

In bed, probably going to sleep soon

He figured it was probably the right move when William texted back.

Same, got an early morning tomorrow. It was nice meeting you though, talk tomorrow?

Reggie’s stomach actually fluttered, he didn’t even know it could do that.

Sounds great

He fell asleep with a smile on his face and when he woke up, phone pressed to his chest, battery dangerously low, there was already a text from William and a picture of Luna attached.

Good morning, hope you slept well. We sure did.

Reggie sighed, thankful that it wasn’t all a dream.

I did, thanks. Good luck with your new job today

William didn’t text back for a while, but Reggie didn’t really expect him too. He knew not every job was like his, so he figured William wasn’t allowed his phone much at work. Which was fine, he’d just wait with a little ball of anxiety in his chest until he got a response.

It turned into a routine after that. William always responded at the weirdest times. Sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at night, and sometimes in the morning. Reggie never could pin down his schedule, just went with the flow as they worked their way through the western states.

The boys were never really sports guys. If they did keep up with anything it was basketball. But one night, out of pure coincidence, Reggie found himself on a channel playing a hockey game. It looked interesting, and one of the teams was the Sharks which he faintly remembered played at the arena they’d performed at the night he met William.

Maybe he could talk to William about it later, he seemed like the type to be into sports. So Reggie settled in and texted him, unsure if he’d even get a response.

You a hockey fan?

And then a few seconds later after a brutal hit.

I wasn’t but this is kinda fun. I’m sure you’re a sharks fan, they look good

He took a liking to a particular player, number 23 that the announcers kept calling Harris. Reggie found himself at the edge of his seat as the other team started to come back, the Sharks struggling to hold their lead.

“Come on,” he muttered under his breath, nervously checking the clock, “so close.” 

He pulled his phone out as the other team called a timeout.

If you aren’t into hockey you should check this out, I’m so invested

The game started again and he put his phone down, paying full attention to the TV. He tapped his knee as the last minute of the game stretched out, totally confused why the other team’s goalie just dipped, but invested nonetheless.

When it ended, he let out a relieved breath as the Sharks managed to hold on and win. Reggie stood up, shaking out his fingers which he didn’t realize he’d been clenching into his pants. He walked away from the TV, needing a break, and went to find something to eat.

Their cabinets were sparse, so he left the bus, wandering to the nearest grocery store to pick something up. His phone buzzed a few times, no doubt William texting him back, and he juggled the items in his hands to fish it out of his pocket.

Hockey’s cool. Probably my favorite sport. Picked a tough game to watch though. Calgary is pretty good this year, but the Sharks will get it figured out

Reggie chuckled and typed out his response with one hand while he waited for the people in front of him in the checkout line to move.

You seem like you know your stuff

The typing bubble appeared and disappeared for a minute straight, oddly reminiscent of the first night Reggie texted him, before the next text finally came through.

Yeah, hockey’s been part of my life for a while

After setting the boxes down and paying, Reggie responded.

Long time fan then. Always liked the Sharks?

Reggie didn’t get another text for a few minutes and figured it was one of those nights William was working.

Nope, liking the sharks is a new development. Started when I moved here

Stirring the pasta, Reggie nodded and decided to text him back when he sat down to eat. It never happened. He’d left the TV on accidentally, and when he sat back down on the couch, the men on screen were breaking down the game.

“William Harris in particular was impressive tonight. He really stepped up on the penalty kill, that game would’ve been a loss if he hadn’t played like he did.” 

A picture of his William popped up on the screen. Well, Reggie was pretty sure. He didn’t quite look like he did when Reggie met him, and sure he’d only seen William that one time, but he was pretty fucking sure that was him.

Hands shaking, Reggie exited their text thread and was hitting FaceTime before even realizing what he was doing. It took William a few rings to pick up, and he smiled, looking a little surprised.

“Why are you on my TV? Or at least I think it’s you,” Reggie blurted, not even saying hello.

William blinked, surprised, “What?” 

Reggie flipped the camera to show where they were still talking about this Harris player he’d been enamored with during the game. He watched William’s face carefully and saw the resemblance to the guy on the TV. 

William winced and put on an apologetic smile, “Um, because I played well tonight.”

“Mhmm,” Reggie muttered, still shocked, “and you didn’t tell me, why?” 

“I thought you’d figure it out. That’s what the shark emoji was for.” 

Staring at William incredulously, Reggie managed, “In what world do I make that connection on my own?” 

William smiled sheepishly, “Maybe it was a bit of a long shot. But I mean, it’s not a big deal, right? I’m still William.” 

Reggie took a deep breath and relaxed back into the couch, “I suppose, yes.” 

“And by the way, you’re not off the hook. You didn’t tell me you were a famous musician.” 

“Oh God,” Reggie shut his eyes, “I totally meant to. I just couldn’t ever find the right time.” 

“How about, ‘hey William, I know I seem normal but I’m actually famous and definitely way out of your league’? That would suffice in my opinion.” 

Sitting up, Reggie glared at him, “Hold on, if anyone is out of anyone’s league, you’re definitely out of mine. A professional athlete, are you kidding me?” 

William scoffed, “And you have fans all over the world, I just have fans in the United States, mostly in San Jose.” 

“But you’re hot,” Reggie countered.

“So are you,” William argued and set his jaw stubbornly.

Reggie sighed, “Fine, we’re both hot. But, I’m not sure what this means.” 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” William sounded desperate, “we’re just two guys, right?” 

“Right.”

“And we like each other, right?” 

“Right,” Reggie repeated.

“Then let’s just be two guys who like each other. Not two relatively well known guys.” 

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Reggie nodded, “Okay, I think I can do that.” 

William was silent, both of them soaking in it, and Reggie sat up, “You look exhausted, I should let you go.”

“Wait,” William protested, “I want to see you again. When are you free?”

“I probably can’t make it for a while,” Reggie admitted, “Maybe mid-November if you have some off time.” 

“November we have a homestand, I can definitely do that.” 

“I’ll send dates.” 

William blushed, “I’d like that very much.” 

“We should FaceTime more,” Reggie mused.

“We absolutely should.”

When they finally hung up, Reggie immediately hunted down his laptop to start googling hockey rules. If he was going to (hopefully) date a hockey player he should start learning about the sport. 

He didn’t think William would hold it against him if he didn’t, but hockey was clearly something the other boy was passionate about, and the least he could do was support him. Maybe the next day he’d be a bit embarrassed about the texts he’d sent, but for the night, at least he’d be preoccupied enough. 

Over the next few weeks, Reggie started to watch Sharks games, every one he could, and the ones he had to miss for shows, he’d watch highlights after, all the time looking for his favorite player. William was good, Reggie knew that from the praise he got in the media, but one night he started looking up William’s highlights particularly. Found some stuff from his stint in college hockey and fell down a rabbit hole. He pulled out his phone.

You’re like. Insanely good.

The response was quick.

Ha. Thanks

Reggie scoffed.

Not joking. I’m looking at your college stuff, you went high in the draft. Maybe I was right about out of my league.

William sent back screenshots of his playlist, a few Sunset Curve songs thrown in the mix.

I’m not the only one insanely talented.

Reggie’s cheeks heated up and his palms started to sweat.

Mostly my bandmates honestly

He could almost hear the tone William would use if they were talking over FaceTime, he’d used it many times before.

Lies and slander. I’ve watched videos too

Reggie got that fluttering in his stomach again, and he actually went to look at dates, something he’d been putting off, checking the Sharks’ schedule to see if there were any days that matched up.

Hey, how about November 14?

William FaceTimed him instead of responding. His cheeks were flushed, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Yes, absolutely. Fuck yes,” William breathed.

For the first time in a while, the loneliness crushing Reggie started to lighten. He knew his bandmates would start to notice, he knew Alex at least was confused about why the fuck he’d started watching hockey, but for the time being, William was his.

It wasn’t a secret really, not a dirty one. But Reggie shared almost everything, and he wanted something for himself. For once. With a happy sigh, he walked over to his bed and flopped down, smiling widely when one last text came in.

I can’t wait

[wayward-mikaelson]

Heavenly Crush

Word Count: 1599

Pairing: Cas x Reader

Characters: Cas, Dean, Sam, and Reader

About: When Dean buts into the Readers sex life she cant stop thinking about Cas. When she sees Cas, they both share a small intimate moment.

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff, Dirty Thoughts, Fantasizing, Blood and Gore

A/N: If you know a Cas/Misha lover tag them below! 

A/N 2: Request close in under 12 hours. 11.59 USA Central time! Send me those pictures or gifs or songs and what you want in it.

Forever Tag List: @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @elansaidaris​ @hobby27​ @squirrelnotsam​ @440mxs-wife​

*18+ CONTENT. YOUNGER THAN 18 MUST MOVE ON

**DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND WITHOUT GIVING ME THE PROPER CREDIT. I WORK TOO HARD ON THESE STORIES FOR THEM TO BE STOLEN.

***ALL WORKS ARE POSTS ON IG, AO3, WATTPAD. GO SHOW THEM SOME LOVE THERE TOO.

"We need to get you laid?" Dean says walking into the bunker and tossing his bag onto the table. I choke on whatever saliva I have in my mouth. "See right there! That would have been perfect if it were around some poor guys dick."

"Shut up," Both Sam and I say. "I do not need to be picturing myself giving some awful head right now." I continue. Sam flops into the chair closest to him. "Especially looking like I do. I'm sure I have Vamp guts on me." Our vampire hunt almost went south until Dean realized he had packed the freaking grenade launcher. When he shot it, vampire guts and body parts flew everywhere. "And stay out of my sex life unless you want me all up in yours Mister Right Now."

"Fuck you," Dean says making a face. He hates when I call him that when he buts into my non existent sex life.

"Oh, honey, I already do," I blew a kiss towards him. Sam is passed out and has missed the whole thing.

I make my way towards the bathroom. I've been with the boys for maybe six months. Both have tried making moves on me but they both failed. I didn't see them like that. They were more like brothers to me. Really, really annoying brothers who bickered almost all the damn time. I really have eyes for one person and that Castiel, our angel friend.

Once in the bathroom. I turn shower all the way on hot. Why? Well after this hunt, I feel the need to burn my skin to get all the vampire guts off me. I turn to the mirror and see that the damage is far, far worse than I imagined. Small chunks of vampire are stuck in my hair. Pieces of skin are stuck of my face. Dried blood is just about everywhere. "I guess that's what happened when I'm in the the splash zone," I begin to slip out of my clothes.

I carefully get into the shower and start to scrub my body, hair, and hard to get places. I want the smell and sign of it all off me. Once I am satisfied with my wash, I sit on the shower floor and just let the water run all over me.

I lean back and close my eyes and think of all the things I like about Cas. His eyes for one. The shade of blue always makes you want to drown in them. Then his smile when he was genuinely happy. That smile was always so rare to see and it always makes my knees weak. Then there was the way he talked and was always confused about certain things. The way he says hello to me and looks at me as if he's trying to read my mind. Well, maybe he can since he's an angel and all, I think to myself.

Then I start to think about the dirty stuff. I think of how those hands would feel on my skin. His voice in my ear. His body wrapped around mine. I bite my lip just thinking where it all could go. But I doubt it. Cas is an angel. I just want him so bad, I don't sleep or flirt with anyone at a bar of a town we roll through.

I sigh and turn the water off and get out of the shower. I look in the mirror to find I was squeaky clean minus the few cuts and scraps I got from being thrown around. I even start to see a few bruises starting to form. Oh well, I think, I've seen hotter days. I wrap the towel around me and waltz out of the bathroom without a care in the world. I run into something or someone and that someone balanced me on my feet and held me back. I feel my face start to burn when I feel the familiar gentle hands and see the beige trench coat.

"I was just coming to check in on you."

Cas's voice threw me for a spin and put me in a trance. I begin to envision me dropping my towel and jumping him. I picture slamming my lips to his and him backing me up onto a wall ripping the towel away.

"YN," Cas's voice also snaps me out my trance. "

"What?" I ask shaking my head.

"I asked if you were okay." Cas says. "You have some scrapes and bruises. Will you like it if I healed them?"

I smile. "Yeah," Damn my stupid day dream. I watch as Cas presses two fingers to my head and I close my eyes and sigh. I feel all the aching in my body fade out and disappear for good. Well, until the next time I need to be healed.

Cas pulls back his hand and I see a confused look on his face. "What?" I ask. "Do I still have blood or something in my hair?" I use my free hand to ruffle my hair around.

"No," Cas grabs my hand and I instantly feel my face turn red. I look away. "I never realized I had such an effect on you. I mean, I cannot hear your thoughts but, I can pick up on emotions. Yours are screaming whenever I am around you. I never knew until now."

I feel my face get hotter. I gently pull my hand away and turn away. "I gotta get dressed."

I hurry to my room and throw clothes on and sit on my bed. What the hell just happened? I toss over and bury my face in my pillow. Cas can't read my mind? But can read my flipping emotions? And they're screaming? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I scream into the pillow until I need to lift my head up to breath. I feel like a teenage school girl whose crush finally found out I like them.

I sit up and stare at the ground until I hear a knock on my door. I take a deep breath and compose myself. I get up and answer the door to see Cas standing there. Hes looking to the side and I follow his gaze and see Dean poking his head around the corner. He's giving okay and thumbs up hand signals. Dean sees me and stops and disappears. I sigh and let Cas in and close the door.

"I'm assuming Dean has something to do with this?" I ask watching Cas look around my room. It's the cleanest but, it also doesn't look like Deans.

Cas nods and looks back at me. "Yes, I inquired about your emotions I feel each time I am around you. He says that you might have what you humans call a crush on me. But I do not understand why you would want to crush me?" I cover my mouth and laugh. "What is so funny?"

I walk up to the confused angel with a smile on my face. "Cas," I say taking hold of his trench coat and I fiddle with the button closest to my fingers. "I don't want to crush you." I giggle again. "What Dean means is, I like you more than as a friend." I contemplate kicking Deans ass for telling Cas I have a crush on him.

"What is  more than a friend?" Cas ask looking deep in your eyes.

I take a deep breath because I know he will still be confused. I let go of his coat and take hold of his face. I reach my face up to his and gently kiss his lips. His lips are chapped but I didn't care. I feel Cas's hand on my face and he pulls back slowly. I'm confused by the look he gives me. Shock? Weird? Surprised?

"I see now," He says keeping his hands on my face. His thumbs brush my cheeks and I'm not sure if he knew he was doing that. "I think I, too, have a crush on you and like you more than as a friend." I smile and Cas pulls my face back to his and this time, this kiss is deeper and full of longing.

Cas's hands slide down to my hips and walks me back towards the dresser. He effortlessly picks me up and sits me on top of it. I hear him shrug off his coat and toss it to the side without breaking the kiss. I begin to reach for the button of his pants. Then out of know where there is a soft sliding sound.

"I'm slipping some condoms under the door for you guys," Deans voice is heard from the other side. "I mean, I don't know how strong they have to be for an angel but these are the thick kind that don't bust."

"Oh for fucks sake," Sams voice is also heard. "Leave the two of them alone."

By now, Cas has pulled apart and has gotten his coat back on. I still sit on the dresser contemplating on kicking Deans ass still. Cas walks up to me and helps me off the dresser. "I still feel your emotions are screaming maybe this can settle them until we get the proper alone time. You know, so that I can get my hard angelic dick deep inside you." Cas softly presses his lips to mine for a few seconds before leaving the room.

Such talk coming from an angel had me turned on in ways I couldn't describe. Until next time.

[poepoe-thebunny]

Random Rudony vaguely historical-ish stuff and HC’s for @rudolph-sackville-bagg

Warning: Done for the cute, loose term of “historical accuracy” applied as I am but a simple reader. 

1) Flowers

Common but meaning varies depending on the time period. They were used to send messages because certain topics were considered taboo or impolite to talk about in public. Bouquets were put together to convey a meaning or answer questions, both positive and negative, and were often wrapped in things like lace, or satin ribbons. Many books on floriograpy; or the language of flowers, were written. 

- for example a yellow carnation could be a symbol of rejection and disappointment, while a white carnation may mean pure love. 

Other examples include: 

red roses: love

forget-me-nots: true love

purple lilacs: “first emotions of love’ Mimosa’s: “secret love”

Phlox- Our souls are united

Yellow tulips- There’s sunshine in your smile.  

- I personally like the thought of Tony waking up to flowers on his windowsill or by his bedside. 

-They’re different flower combinations almost every time. 

-Rudy is either giving him red roses, or very soft arrangements like lavender, lilacs and lilies. Again, no in-between. 

-Tony gifts flowers too; often in bold colors such as petunias, red peony’s, and hyacinths. 

2) Letters

Because of the taboo nature of certain topics, and because cell phones didn’t exist, Letters generally were considered very private. During time’s apart, and even during war, it wasn’t unusual for letter correspondence to last months or even years. 

While most stationary was plain, more expensive paper was thicker, and had artful designs such as flower borders in bright or contrasting colors, gothic designs, or even patterns printed along the back page. 

- This is all to say that I can totally see both of these dorks fretting over “making it look nice’.

-Rudy’s paper has gothic designs on the back and he writes in old-school cursive, Tony’s is from some random craft store and has polka-dots or something and his writing looks like chicken scratch don’t @ me. 

- They read each others letters and giggle like the dorks they are. Again don’t @ me. 

3) Dancing

Just, give me the cute waltzing under the moonlight. Please. Most of the other dances from this time period for the upper class were either super complicated, large group dances, or couples dancing like the waltz.

- Also give me Tony teaching Rudy how to dab. It will diminish Gregory’s sanity, and poor Rudy will be so confused I need this please. 

- Rudy would either thoroughly enjoy modern dances, or be horrified and become super shy. Like no inbetween. 

- Oooh the Sackville-bagg clan, when they all get together, will sometimes do those big historical group dances and maybe Rudy ends up teaching him?? This will end in disaster I know it. 

- But Rudy is a great ballroom dancer, on the ground or in the air. He likes dancing with Tony. 

4) Music and Instruments

Being roughly 300 years old, and working form the assumption that the movie takes place in the modern day, that would put the Sackville-Bagg clan in between the Baroque and and Classical music periods. 

Common instruments from this time include: Violin, cello, flute, harps, organ, oboe, and clarinets. 

- I personally don’t HC Rudy as like, a master player of instruments. But I can see his parents at least making him learn one. Especially because of the time period they’re from. 

- Rudy doesn’t really enjoy it the way he enjoys dancing. 

Which isn’t to say he hates it, he’s just grumpy that his parents make him practice so much. 

- Anna plays the harp. I think it fits her for some reason. 

- Gregory can kiiiinndaaa play the cello but lowkey does it like those 2Cellos guys from youtube and it drives his dad up the wall. Probably the most interested in modern music not gonna lie. 

- Think you know teenage rebellion? Think again. 

Teenage rebellion has nothing on an annoyed perpetually young-adult vampire with no peers, an overbearing dad, and who just discovered rock music and eyeliner.  

- I can see Rudy playing like, the violin maybe? Or Piano? He plays them for Tony when he wants to be Brazen(TM) 

- Tony plays guitar, acoustic and electric. It’s actually Tony who plays songs for Rudy more often than not. Stuff like “Can’t help falling in love’ “Always” by Bon jovi or “all of me” by John legend. 

5) Poetry/sStories (This is totally your fault and I hope you know that) 

The 1700s were the romantic period of poetry, and call me cliche but I am here for it ok? List of headcanons in coming. 

- Rudy lowkey is into it. His parents wanted him to be well read, and while Gregory hated it, and Anna used it to perfect her wit Rudy genuinely liked it. 

- but he would rarely admit it. -

- Personal HC but, one of the few things his parents (read father) would allow Rudy to have from the mortal world as time flew by were things like books, ergo his love for Poetry. 

- It was also one of the few gifts from Gregory after one of his “trips’ that their father wouldn’t put up too much of a fuss about. Their father had been horrendously grumpy the first time he saw Rudy’s new black spiky jacket, an effort to be like his ‘cool; brother. But the books were mostly safe. 

- Rudy’s read the classics, the epics, anything and everything he can get his hands on. 

-Shakespeare’s’s Sonnet 20, William Blake’s “The Garden of Love.” This boy is in love with love, and he is D R A M A T I C

- Seriously Rudy could have been a theatre kid in another life, ya feel me? 

- When they have to separate cause sunlight, Rudy just starts reciting “To Night’ by Percy Shelley, or wring “Bright Star” by John Keats onto a letter and leaving it for tony. 

-Given that education wouldn’t have been as widespread when he was human, this definitely would have been seen as both a privilege, and very forward courting. 

5) Other Random bits of Info

- Accepting gifts from a suitor of some sort usually signaled, to both the suitor and the general public, an acceptance of feelings and intentions. 

-Returning a gift, even after some time, often meant rejection of some sort. 

-There was a very fine line between gifts for courting, and gifts for the sake of gifting to a friend, depending on the time period. Platonic gifts to the recipient included simpler things like fruit, sweets, and candy, versus something else that was more carefully chosen. 

- Depending on the time period gifts could include everything from flowers, jewelry, to carefully stitched high quality gloves to knives. 

Not even gonna lie this has miscommunication and shenanigans written all over it. 

-Tony not realizing what Rudy’s gifts mean, and either unknowingly accepting, or unknowingly rejecting them. 

- Rudy just about dying if Tony gives him a gift cause his mortal?? Is just so sweet? Like, Tpny could give him a bracelet he won out of one of those (rigged!) claw machines and he would be happy. 

- I mean, Tony would probably put more thought into it than that but yeah.

This started out as me attempting to explain stuff and just, devolved into my HC's I am so sorry everyone forgive me.

[lightsandlostbells]

wtFOCK season 3, episode 1 reaction

So! It’s a million years too late, but I decided to talk about wtFOCK season 3. 

I had fairly positive feelings about S1 of wtFOCK. It was the scrappy underdog of the Skam remakes, in a way, and what it lacked in polish, it made up for authenticity. I was very willing to overlook its flaws because of what I perceived as genuine attempts to connect with teenagers. I was really, really holding out hope that future seasons would improve on its flaws. And ... well. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t seen S2. Sorry! I just failed to keep up with all the remakes and S2 is my least fave so I didn’t feel that motivated to make it a priority, even though I did like Zoë a lot in S1.)

Heads up - I didn’t care for this season. A lot of people did, and I would never, ever want to ruin someone’s enjoyment of something, even if I personally didn’t like it. So please take this as a warning that I have a lot of negative things to say, and don’t read if it’s going to harsh your buzz for a pairing or a story that you deeply love. However, I didn’t want to just be grumpy and angry the whole time, so I tried to think of constructive ways to fix certain problems I had with this season. No guarantees that they’re satisfying solutions, but it was an interesting exercise.

Also, I didn’t watch this in real time, and I paid barely any attention to fandom reactions and/or drama, so it’s very possible that I am missing context, or that pacing issues didn’t register with me quite as strongly, etc. If one of the actors ate a live dolphin on Instagram, and then got into a fight with fans on Twitter about their right to eat live dolphins, and now fandom has canceled the problematic dolphin-eating actor, I legit do not know, do not come at me if I’m like “This actor is doing a good job” with “Wow, didn’t know you stanned dolphin-eaters??? YIKES.” Honestly, for the purposes of just grading this season on a storytelling level, I would prefer not to know anything about the cast or crew unless it directly has an impact on the show itself.

Clip 1 - House party

OK, I did like this flashy intro shot, immersing us in the Wild ‘n’ Crazy Teen Party of Wild ‘n’ Crazy Youths.

Amber rejecting every dude in site … When Will Gay Vilde Rise. (I know there have been some f/f storylines in the remakes, but if there’s one involving an actual Vilde, please let me know.)

Luca saying “We’re not walking around in a high school drama” - you can hear the rimshot.

I do like the transition from the party up to the bathroom, that’s a cool shot. wtFOCK’s directing so far is more ambitious than it was in S1.

Robbe is clearly a mess and they acknowledge his problems at home right off the bat.

We go back downstairs. wtFOCK’s version of Magnus knocks his drink on Amber and she gets pissed. She gives him the finger and he falls in love. Still a better love story than S3 Daphne/Basile.

It’s a small point, but I don’t get why we didn’t get this moment before jumping up to the bathroom with Robbe and the others? It would be a far smoother transition, just on a practical level and also in the sense of fully immersing us in Robbe’s POV after a quick update with the other characters.

Belgian Magnus joins the guys in the bathtub and announces he’s in love. They roast him when they find out it’s Amber and start talking about hot chicks. Moyo starts grilling Robbe about his type of girl, in a crass, sexual way.

This is honestly not a bad start to Robbe’s story at all. Robbe is clearly more reluctant to get into his interest in girls than Isak was - Isak was more fuckboyish from the start, Robbe seems like he’s about to start squirming and doesn’t really give an answer to Moyo’s questioning. Which is fine! I think it’s fine to start off the POV character at different stages of performing heterosexuality, as long as it’s taken into account in the writing of the character’s whole arc. The fact that the boy talk is so crude and sexual just ramps up Robbe’s alienation.

I swear, I will never understand how the girls in this scene just go into the bathroom and pee in front of strange boys … like maybe I am just a ~prude but that seems like a recipe for disaster and I would not trust those little fuckers to not be secretly recording me on the toilet.

Her peeing is kind of a power move, like marking her territory.

Also L M A O at Robbe starting to flirt with the girl while she is pissing … like now this comes off as a kink thing. OK, Robbe. Jokes aside, this gets across the same meaning as the scene with Isak: he starts to flirt with her because he was encouraged by the other guys.

Uh, flush the toilet, lady. And use some TP.

Now this version of Emma seriously radiates some Natalie Portman in The Professional vibes.

She orders him to stand up and then starts kissing him. I get way less of a vibe of Robbe’s mad game with women (like how Isak negged Emma into kissing him) and more like this girl is the love interest out of an indie romcom, all mysterious and spunky. She kisses him like once after taking his jay and then leaves. The boys all crack up. Moyo tells Robbe it’s his responsibility to get the weed back which lmao, no it’s not, all you assholes were there and could have intervened.

This scene is perfectly fine and even effective! Not entirely the same vibes as OG, but it still has a purpose and some obvious cause-and-effect, and there are some nice stylistic choices.

Clip 2 - Party pt. 2

Robbe is now making out with mystery girl. We already have a divergence in characterization from OG. Isak was being performative about making out with Emma and shut it down once the guys left. Robbe is making out with this girl because he wants to be straight, I guess? If it’s not to appeal to his friends, it’s likely that this is for himself. Again, I have no real problem with this change if it’s incorporated into Robbe’s overall arc and characterization. My thing is, if you’re writing this scene, do you realize the differences in characterization? Or do you think this is interchangeable from what happened with Isak? The latter is where you run into problems, because then the writing shows lack of nuance. I bring this up here because, well, you can guess how I feel about later events. 

Luca seems rather aggro about the mystery woman, which I assume is because she still has the hots for Robbe?

It makes me laugh that we got this first-person POV as Robbe leaves through the garage, because of the “Smack My Bitch Up” song being played in the last clip (the song had an infamous music video, banned from MTV in the ‘90s, that was from a first-person POV). But again, WTFock is trying harder with the cinematography and direction, good for them.

Robbe ditches the cops by jumping on the bike with Belgian Emma. OK, I get it, Belgian Emma is too cool for school. 

I have kinda mixed feelings on that, actually. I mean, I’ll be honest - I don’t see why any Emma has to be made into someone more palatable. Definitely don’t demonize her or present her in a misogynistic way! She deserves sympathy and dignity as much as any character on a Skam. But … it’s fine if she and the Isak aren’t like, amazingly compatible except for his sexuality. The Even character is supposed to be the one who really shakes up the Isak’s world! The Isak is supposed to be lost and confused and drifting and then Even comes in and is someone he can really open up to. Not just because he’s another guy who’s into guys, but because Even’s personality meshes with Isak’s so easily while still challenging him and introducing him to new things. In a way, it does kinda diminish the effect of the Even if the Isak meets ANOTHER mysterious stranger who’s an awesome person. Or at the very least, it lessens the feeling of the Isak’s detachment from everything.

And again, this could work if the writing realizes it. You can totally craft a subtly different arc from the pieces of Isak’s season. It’s just that (speaking from the future) I do not feel this is what happened.

Clip 3 - Tagging time

I don’t think it’s necessary to break up all the parts of a longer scene/set piece into a bunch of different clips. If you start a scene at 16:00, it’s OK to have the clip take place over several hours. You don’t need to chop it up unless there’s a reason why this pacing might benefit the story. Honestly, if you’re watching in real time, I think this method is often less effective at building tension/emotion/etc. But wtFOCK is not the first remake to try this tactic.

... this part where Robbe and Noor put on masks sure hits differently in 2020.

Belgian Emma’s name is Noor and she takes him to a warehouse, or something? It’s very secret and Cool Kid. And IDK, it’s fun, but again… I think making the Emma that much of a fun mysterious cool exciting person is very much diminishing the effect of Robbe’s isolation. We had a good start with establishing that alienation while he was in the tub, but now his reactions to her rad hipness feel way too sincere and act against the major character conflict of his season. He seems nervous to go with her, but not because he’s with a girl, just because it’s a risky scenario.

Noor hands Robbe a spray paint can and leads him to tag a wall. There’s  a guy taking pictures. So I’m assuming one of the guys in masks is the Even? The POV seems to shift to the photo guy briefly, like we’re seeing Robbe through his eyes. And even though I’m not a fan of POV breakage, I do think this is a cool way to introduce the Even without really introducing him, you know? If that’s him. (EDIT from the future: Ummm, so that wasn’t Sander, right? I’m rewatching and it doesn’t look like him. Soooo that part has even less relevance than I originally thought. Got it.) (EDIT from the future beyond the future: @hellswolfie tells me that this actually was Sander, so I am just bad at recognizing people, lol.)

Robbe and Noor take off their masks briefly to kiss. Uhhhh, did the scene really just … cut off there? Because L M A O what a weird choice. We don’t get to see what Robbe creates on the wall, which could be a great way to establish his character, AND we end with him on a smiley, contented note which does not boost his POV at all. It legit just makes him seem like a guy who’s into this girl, and sorry, even if that’s his public persona at this point in time … that’s not what we, the audience should be getting at all. 

Clip 4 - Boy squad morning after

Robbe skateboards to meet up with the guy squad. Again, the directing is far better IMO than in S1.

Robbe got the weed back so that conflict is over, I guess.

He gets a call from his mom and stops laughing with the guys and gets serious. He walks away to take the call. Then he starts to open up to Jens about his mom freaking out, and then Moyo spots some girls so they all ditch Robbe to go chase girls, and WOW, Jens, please turn in your Jonas card. 

Don’t love that we didn’t hear his mom on the phone. There’s no reason not to let us hear what she’s saying since it would be in Robbe’s POV AND as it turns out, they just tell us about the situation with his mom right off the bat, anyway, so it’s not like there’s much point in hiding it. 

This was effective in a sense to establish how girl-crazy his friends are, as well as setting up Robbe’s isolation, which I was worried wouldn’t come across as strongly after meeting Noor. But I think they could have NOT mingled in his mom issues to make this part more effective. Like if the goal was to show more of Robbe being alienated because he’s gay, then that’s not entirely successful, because there are non-gay reasons why Robbe wouldn’t join his pals on the girl chase. I mean, even a horny hetero Robbe might not want to chase girls with his bros because talking to his mom is a downer, so it’s not necessarily because of his sexuality. Plus he just found a girl he liked in Noor, so apparently, he’s not on the prowl. What this part IS communicating that the Belgian guy squad doesn’t have much interest in their friend’s family struggles, which ... ehhhh, maybe not great in the grand scheme of the storyline? These guys can be flawed, for sure, but we do need them to care about Robbe’s well-being. And Robbe tried to open up here, so the flaw is not in him, it’s in his friends. I’m going to let it slide because Jens was offering to help Robbe in the first clip, so it’s not like he’s been a totally insensitive friend this whole time. 

Clip 5 - Phone call from Robbe’s dad

Noor jumps on Robbe and they make out. She shows him the garage and they talk about the tagging world or w/e. Again, not sure why they are portraying Noor as like … a legit love interest. I don’t get much of a sense of discomfort from Robbe. Isak was just not into Emma and was uncomfortable when his bathroom flirting came back to haunt him. And I don’t think it’s TERRIBLE not to follow that route, but you can’t just make this huge change if you don’t account for it in future episodes and Robbe’s overall arc. (EDIT from the future: Which I don’t think they do, otherwise I wouldn’t care.) Every scene should count in furthering Robbe’s character, especially this early in the season where we’re just getting to know his particular struggles. If Robbe is trying to convince himself to like girls, then I want to see definite vulnerability in how that’s portrayed.

I blame the directing/writing more than the acting for the lack of discomfort, since I sensed Robbe’s lack of comfort just fine in the bathtub scene.

Makeouts get interrupted when Robbe’s dad calls. Again, not sure why we aren’t hearing both sides of the conversation? Because we’re in Robbe’s POV. Why wouldn’t we hear them? This seems like they just want to create some suspense or mystery over the situation with his parents. But it’s perfectly possible to do so while still letting us in on the phone calls. In fact, it’s arguably more intriguing to let us listen to some phone calls where we get some vague details but nowhere close to the whole story. It’s not like Robbe’s dad is going to explain the whole situation to his son in an exposition dump. We can get some crumbs to tease us, while still keeping us in Robbe’s POV and not feeling like the show is cutting corners.

Robbe gets mad at his dad and tells Noor he needs to be alone. Closeup on Noor as Robbe walks away. OK … why? Why on her and not Robbe when it’s his POV? Why the focus on Noor’s feelings when we really need to be establishing our protagonist’s mindset in the beginning of this season? I’m not saying her feelings don’t matter, I’m saying that well, this isn’t her story. It would be better to see Robbe’s pained reaction as he leaves.

Clip 6 - Robbe’s dad drama

Jens comes running up while Robbe is being sad. Robbe says that it may be necessary for him to stay with Jens because Robbe’s mom has been committed to a mental health institution and Robbe doesn’t want to stay with his dad. Ah, so I guess we’re hearing that right away. Which honestly makes not hearing his phone calls to his parents even funnier - like you lock us out of his POV arguably for the suspense, but then you end the suspense anyway by just telling us what happened a scene or two later? All right. I guess there’s suspense in that we don’t know exactly what’s up with the mom, mental health-wise, or the root of Robbe’s problems with his dad.

It occurs to me that maybe they just didn’t want to hire people to voice Robbe’s parents? Or put in the time to film both sides of the conversation? I have a hard time believing either of those because it’s so lazy, but. 

I mean, just turn the phone conversations into text conversations if you’re not going to let us listen to Robbe’s parents on the other end.

They go and play football without really resolving the situation. Sad music plays while Robbe joins in. Also, someone was calling Robbe, and I assume it was his dad, but it’s not shown.

These clips are VERY short and choppy so far. You could easily combine the last two, so Robbe is with Jens instead of Noor when he gets the other phone call from his dad, leading into this conversation.

We know immediately about Robbe’s mom’s situation instead of it being a mystery, like with Isak. Which, again, isn’t inherently wrong, but then I want them to DO SOMETHING with it. 

Clip 7 - Jens and Jana

Oh hey, Jana got her braces off! IDK if that happened last season or this one, but it was something I liked, seeing a teenage girl with braces on a teen drama. That rarely happens unless it’s a joke or a plot point.

OK, they really need to film Robbe’s phone so I can actually see who’s calling…

Jens tells Jana about Robbe’s parental situation. I’ll note that first she asks if something’s up with Noor, so news of the Robbe/Noor relationship must have traveled really fast since they’ve only just gotten together. Like Robbe and Noor are clearly dating, going off Jana’s comment, and not just hooking up. Then Belgian Magnus wants to know about hooking up with Amber. Meanwhile Robbe is having a conversation off screen with his dad? Guess it wasn’t important!

And that’s the problem, obviously. It’s his POV season, anything you decide to show SHOULD be important to his storyline. 

Also … it’s fine that we’re focusing on Robbe’s shit home life since that’s relevant to his story, but almost nothing in these clips has set up Robbe’s attraction to men, and only slightly his lack of interest in girls, which was negated by him seeming very interested in a girl afterwards. And knowing how long this season takes to get going with the Even character, it’s a pretty glaring omission.

So we don’t see Robbe’s phone call with his dad, but he gets snappy about it when Jens asks. One of the boys (I can’t tell who) says that Robbe’s on his period.  Gonna be real, I don’t care for this squad so far. 

What was the point of this clip? We already know Robbe is having problems with his dad, which is the most relevant part to the plot here. We shouldn’t be wandering from Robbe’s POV so much, but even taking that into account … we already know Belgian Magnus likes Amber, so that’s not necessary to establish. And we didn’t need to see Jens tell Jana something we already know. I assume he tells her so Zoë can find out and offer a room, but there’s no reason to see Jens tell Jana this, so. Filler clip. 

Clip 8 - Zoë and Robbe at the lockers

Yeah, Zoë offers Robbe a place to stay here, but again, we didn’t need to see the news travel down the Jens-Jana pipeline. It could have been condensed more efficiently.

Robbe doesn’t want to because he says his dad wouldn’t approve. Zoë says she hopes things get better with his mom and Robbe at first snaps and tells her to leave it, then says thanks. This is an actual good interaction, writing-wise, kudos.

I liked Zoë a lot in S1 and I like her here again. I really should watch her season despite my Noorhelm allergy. The scene of them kinda smiling at each other across the hallways reminds me that this is probably the strongest relationship in the whole season, tbh.

Why was this clip so short? So many of these clips could have been combined into one. I mean, Zoë could have said, “I heard from Jana who heard from Jens...” without us needing the previous clip. Although, did Robbe really want anyone else to know about his home life? Lol @ Jens just blabbing Robbe’s private business.

So I guess they didn’t set up the Eskild situation in S2 that would lead to Eskild offering Robbe a place to stay? 

Clip 9 - Robbe gets roommates

Robbe is in Zoë’s room. He sees her “everyone you know is fighting a battle” quote next to the mirror, which is a detail I actually quite like in context with the rest of this storyline and Even’s condition. It’s a good Skam thesis overall.

I guess Zoë met with Robbe’s dad. Zoë calls him a tough cookie. Robbe doesn’t want to speak to him. They bond a little over their parental problems. Again, a nice detail.

Belgian Eskild appears and teases Robbe a little before announcing that Robbe’s dad has agreed to let him stay in the flat. Yay!

Oh, so Senne is staying there, too? At least they didn’t do a pointless Noorhelm breakup in this version.

Milan (the Eskild) tries to go in for a hug and Robbe isn’t cool with it, so at least that’s something with Robbe’s issues with men. (I think? The thing is, Robbe also does not really know Milan, so it’s not as weird that he’s not ready to be affectionate with a near-stranger.)  (EDIT from the future: Keeping the S2 almost-kiss that’s referenced in the next clip in mind, I can rationalize this moment as a continuation of that awkwardness from Robbe’s POV.) 

They chat with Lisa (Linn) who wants to direct Robbe on what he is and isn’t allowed to touch in her room, heh.  Milan and Zoë have cute interaction, and Robbe looks happy. I do like the flatmate vibe so far, they seem fun.

Clip 10 - Robbe and Milan

Senne and Zoë get cute. I haven’t seen S2 so I can’t give my opinion on their version of Noorhelm, but I did think a few things about them were less creepy in wtFOCK’s S1 than in OG. Milan talks about how they’re a Disneylike couple and Robbe laughs.

Then Robbe apologizes for something that evidently happened in S2, where Milan tried to kiss Robbe at a party? Again, I didn’t see the scene. Milan says he’d never try to do that. He offers Robbe a hug, which he accepts - tbh I don’t know if Robbe SHOULD accept based on where he is in his character arc, maybe he should have more skittishness? But it’s a nice character moment, at least. They really have to make up for lost time with the Robbe-Milan relationship, so I can get that they need to establish some closeness fast.

Not being in the wtFOCK fandom, I kinda wonder if there was backlash to that scene from before and this is damage control, LMAO.

I feel like you could’ve tweaked this to be more representative of Robbe’s issues, like have him stress here that he’s not gay, because it’s a sweet scene but again, I don’t feel like this episode built up Robbe’s internal dilemma very well. You could make this not just about smoothing over whatever bump there was in this relationship, but also about setting up some internal tension with Robbe’s sexuality issues. Multi-tasking - it’s great!

EDIT from the future: OK, I tracked down the S2 scene, and yeah, while it illustrates some of Robbe’s internalized homophobia, I really think you needed to carry this through to this clip. Because that was a very public situation, and they made a point of emphasizing onlookers’ reactions. I feel like you need to show that Robbe’s internalized homophobia isn’t just about external reactions, but internal struggles, because ... so far, that’s what it is? Like what is he doing with Noor otherwise? 

Clip 11 - Housewarming party

Party is underway. Yasmina is there and is friendly with Robbe. It sounds like they’re working on a school project together. Aaron (Magnus) and Moyo are talking about hot chicks again.

Noor arrives and the boys tease Robbe about how far he’s gone, Robbe looks pretty chill and happy until Moyo says Robbe’s getting laid tonight and you can see the nerves and reluctance take over. Okay! A character detail that actually works for his arc! Yes!

Partying, makeouts with Noor … sorry but they are wasting a lot of time with this relationship. ROBBE ISN’T INTO HER. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to demonize any of Evak’s female “love interests,” right? It’s pointless anyway because Evak is the endgame pairing, Sonja and Emma aren’t “threats” in the end, but also because they’re not bad people just for wanting to date these two guys who happens to want each other instead. And I think you can do interesting things with Sonja and Emma as characters. I’ve read Sonja fanfic that’s really good!

But when it comes down to it … this is not the story of Robbe/Noor, and there’s a point where it feels like there’s too much development for something that is really intended to be a speed bump in Robbe’s journey. 

I guess it’s a pet peeve of mine when gay stories devote a ton of time to het relationships, to the point where it begins to overshadow the main gay relationship. Love, Victor did this to an absolutely ridiculous degree. (I actually made notes for Love, Victor reactions, but hesitated to post them because 60% consisted of me typing I DON’T CARE ABOUT THESE STRAIGHT ROMANCES.) And I GET it, this is an experience many gay kids go through in their coming out journey, but also, less charitably… you don’t need het romance to dominate everything. You don’t need to make this about how a gay person being gay hurts a straight person. I genuinely appreciate that once Isak kisses Even, it’s fucking over with him and Emma, that plot thread is done. 

Anyway, Noor tells Robbe he’s so fucking hot and Robbe looks more uncomfortable, moreso when she wants to see his room and he goes off like he’s headed to Mordor.

Aaron checking out Amber … okay, again with all the het. I don’t care!!! This is not important right now!! 

Noor pushes Robbe onto the bed, ugh please don’t have them Go There.

She takes off her top and Robbe touches her boob like he’s sticking his hand into a porta-potty. We see his discomfort so at least this part is effective and relevant to Robbe’s arc. Noor is taking off her bra when the boys come into the room, wanting the weed. Okay, you dumb fucks, you’re teasing your bro about getting laid and yet you think it’s cool to enter his room when he’s with a girl? I mean, that’s a lucky break for Robbe, but his friends are extra stupid.

The mood is killed, Robbe goes hunting for weed. Episode ends.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THIS EPISODE:

Lmao, some of my changes sounded a lot like “be like OG Skam S3.” Because Skam S3 was well-written and made sense. But I tried to think of edits that worked with what wtFOCK was presenting, not just repeating OG.

(I’m also repeating a few things in this section that I said above, btw)

While this episode doesn’t make me angry or anything, it’s got a serious problem with dithering. The first clip is a solid start to the season, but afterwards, so many of these clips feel like filler. There’s a lack of substance to them. It was hard to write about them because they ended up feeling like two minutes of nothing. 

Did we need to see repetitive mentions of Robbe’s troubled relationship with his dad? No, it’s an important plot detail but we could have established that more concisely in fewer clips. Did we need to see the process of how Robbe comes to stay with Zoë, Senne, and Milan? No, not really. Or at least not dragged out over at least three clips. 

I don’t feel like I’m in Robbe’s head to the extent that I should be  so far. Some of this is because the show just flat-out locks us out of his POV, like not showing the phone call in the Jens-Jana clip. But a lot of it is also because of the narrative dawdling. There’s just not as much to analyze unless I bring in Skam season 3 and project what we know about Isak onto Robbe. And that’s not a good way to adapt a story.

The framing of Robbe/Noor needs to change. Combine the bathroom intro with the aborted sex scene - the boys are sitting in the tub, teasing Robbe about getting laid, so he makes out with Noor and they go into a bedroom where he’s clearly not into this, and then Moyo and Aaron come in asking for weed because Robbe still actually has the weed from the bathtub at this point. Or do what Skam France did (can’t believe I’m referring to Skam France) and have the arrival of the cops interrupt the makeout/sex session and Robbe takes his cue to exit.

But frankly, it’s not great to have Robbe acting or looking too cozy with Noor, like this is a legitimate romantic arc except when it gets to the sex. The point is that this isn’t a romance. Even if you want to show some cuddly, non-sexual scenes with Noor, you have to show more of Robbe’s reluctance and fear throughout. 

Show Robbe’s fucking phone conversations with his parents!!!! Good Lord. He’s not ordering a pizza. These are important aspects of his story. Capitalize on that family tension, show us what a bad place Robbe is in at the start of this season. 

Now, about the lack of Even in this episode. Not introducing Even is a bold move, but not necessarily a smart one. Even’s introduction in Skam is not just the intro of “the love interest” - he’s the catalyst for almost everything in Isak’s story. Consider that in episode 1, Isak is seen mostly unhappy and bored - he’s distraught after kissing Emma, he’s checked out of his friends’ lunchtime girl talk, he zones out staring at his teacher’s boobs, he doesn’t want to be at kosegruppa. Isak is actually very passive and just going through the motions, doing what people tell him to do. But once Isak meets Even at kosegruppa - well, that’s when Isak wakes up. In the next few clips, we see Isak taking action. And sure, they’re small actions, searching for Even online, watching the Even video over and over, asking Vilde if there will be more kosegruppa meetings. But we can see that Isak now cares about something, he’s paying attention. Of course, Robbe’s story doesn’t have to follow the same arc. However, it does the season a huge benefit to get him intrigued by something at this point, so we the audience are not just sleepwalking along with him for a few episodes.

There’s also just the simple fact that we have only 10 episodes to establish a love story and make us care about the Even character, and it’s a very risky move to waste too much time. If you are really killing it with the rest of Robbe’s arc, this could still work, but ... well, that’s not what’s happening here.

If they didn’t want to full on introduce the Even directly, one thing they could do is subtly and indirectly find ways to include him in the narrative and create some mystery. Let’s say Robbe sees the Even’s artwork somewhere and is like whoa, that’s cool, and we can tell that it resonates with him. Or he admires Even’s graffiti, or it makes him laugh, whatever. Basically Robbe has some kind of emotional reaction to a thing the Even has created or done, which helps to set up that relationship even before we officially meet the Even.

If we want to add a little more, perhaps Robbe sees a mysterious dude in a mask tagging a wall, but they get interrupted by the cops or something and have some kind of brief but intriguing interaction with each other, and Robbe’s like, who was that guy in the mask? Or Noor takes Robbe to the tagging place, the police/security bust them, Robbe and Noor get separated, and Robbe gets helped out by the Even so he can escape. So it’s an important moment, lots of adrenaline, we can frame it like there’s a sudden ~charge~ between them (ooOOOooo the Even helped Robbe stand up and their hands touched like this was a fanfic, etc.), but he doesn’t learn Even’s name, maybe he doesn’t even see his face because Even has a mask on, so Robbe spends part of the next few episodes trying to figure out who that guy is, casually asking Noor if she knows a guy like that, keeping his eyes open. Maybe we have some fakeouts where Robbe thinks he sees the Even again but it’s just a false alarm. He’s on edge, eager to know more about that mystery guy, and so are we. Bam, we have “awakened” Robbe from his deep sleep. 

If you’ve seen Netflix’s The Get Down, there’s even a scene like this where Jaden Smith’s character gets caught tagging by the cops, he runs and flees with another young dude, and they have a moment where they recognize each other as graffiti artists they admire. While watching that scene for the first time, without any context or spoilers, without even knowing if there would be LGBT content in that show, I immediately thought, “This guy is his love interest.” Not even because it was overtly romantic. Because the way it was written and shot told us that this meeting was important. Because they had an instant connection. Something similar could have worked for Robbe and his Even. But in any case: it would have been best to establish something between those characters, even if it wasn’t an “official” introduction.

Stop focusing on Aaron/Amber when it’s not in Robbe’s POV. Reverse the scene at the beginning with Aaron videotaping and Amber getting spilled on. She gets pissed, he falls in love, and then we follow him upstairs and we meet the boy squad. That is a very obvious, very clean transition that doesn’t interrupt Robbe’s POV as it technically hasn’t started yet. So IDK why they didn’t do that, lmao.

Some changes with the Milan relationship:

Tweak the apology scene to be more representative of Robbe’s issues. Have Robbe apologize while still stressing that he’s not gay. Have Milan be chill and not question that statement, but maybe Robbe is so defensive that it comes across as unconvincing. 

Then have Milan be the one instead of the boys to interrupt the Noor almost-sex scene. Milan wanders in acting drunk, haha Milan, he’s wacky. Robbe doesn’t realize it (though the viewers do if they’re paying attention) but Milan is only pretending and is “subtly” rescuing Robbe because he realizes, based on the earlier scene, that Robbe might be struggling with his sexuality and he wants to give him an escape option. (Although I still think it’s best to combine the not-sex scene into the opening clip, but this could work, too.)

Basic questions we need to be asking, clip to clip: what is the conflict? Where is Robbe’s head right now? Why is this scene necessary? How did this scene come to be - what’s the cause and effect here? How does it advance Robbe’s story? Is it redundant? How do we tell this story in a narratively economical manner? 

[smilepal]

👹🍊 🏀 🐟 ❤ :3c

Character ask meme for @billlybutcher ☺️

👹--How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)?

Hiro's personality/how he comes off is very dependent on who he's around. He takes pride in being adaptable to most situations, and being able to keep up a mask, or have people perceive him a certain way. It's easy to act--put on a show, let people see what you want them to see. This, in combination with a lack of fear, and the ability to be charming, at least with his mouth shut--has allowed him to bullshit his way out of situations he maybe shouldn't have been able to. If it seems like you're supposed to be there, and you know what you're doing, you can usually get away with quite a bit? He's quick to put on a front around strangers, depending on what he wants from them. Clients will usually perceive him as someone who's there to get the job done, quickly and without a whole lot of bullshit. He's to the point, often to the extent of being a bit abrupt/and wants to get the whole ordeal over with so he can get paid. If he wants something/is off-work though, he can be pretty charming--especially in the right context/if someone's caught his eye. He's still pretty direct in that regard, albeit less abrasive. He still has a mouth on him though, and that never changes much.

With friends he tends to let his guard down a bit, if they're very close to him--and with family as well. He still holds back a bit though, and it's something he still struggles with sometimes even if he has gotten better over time. Close friends/family are treated to a rare glimpse of a softer side, one that is strangely sentimental, and remembers the tiny details about people--a favorite flower, or song they like--stuff that makes them happy. He's a little hesitant around children, and honestly they scare him a bit. They're small, and have so much energy, and are just all over the place and he's the one to look back at their guardians for help. Despite this, he tries to be nice to them and makes a genuine effort not to seem too scary, and just hopes that none of them think he makes a good role model--something he hasn't been entirely successful with. With his lovers/people who've managed to get beyond the initial instinct to keep people at a distance (at least emotionally) he's a very dedicated, loyal partner. He might not always know how to convey something verbally, or get tripped up and have it come out less gracefully than he'd like, but he's not afraid to show affection through actions and gestures, and is always trying to find new ways to do so--whether that's spending quality time with them, or finding out how to cook their favorite meal for them.

🍊--Does your OC have any triggers? Why do these things trigger them? What are they like when triggered and how do they calm down after?

Hiro has a couple, not that he'd ever be forthcoming about that to others, or honestly, to himself. He's very reliant on his senses, and being deprived of any of them is something that deeply unsettles him/can push him into a spiral if it goes too far--the sense of being unmoored or untethered is enough to make him panic, especially if it's deliberate. He...doesn't do great with feeling helpless, and being cut off from his senses just amplifies that. Even in day-to-day life, he doesn't like complete silence. Being alone with his thoughts is something he genuinely tries to avoid, and dead silence exacerbates it. He tries to maintain at least some small level of background noise--usually the bustle of Night City/ambient sounds are enough, but if he's at home or driving, he likes to have the radio on in the background or music playing quietly.

In general, Hiro rarely lets his guard down, always keeping an eye out, both for his own safety and for others--and if someone manages to take him by surprise, even if it's on accident, he usually doesn't respond great. At the very best, he's fairly defensive or prickly/and if they're not someone he cares about maintaining a relationship with/if was done maliciously there could be a fight. His fight or flight response is strong, and it's just determined by how much he values a relationship. If there's a way out, he'll take it rather than risk an argument, but if pushed far enough, he'd snap at someone, loved one or not. That would usually take deliberate goading on their part though--usually by prying into his business more closely than he'd like or trying to get answers out of him he isn't comfortable giving.

Hiro takes a while to calm down/wind himself down after. He responds pretty strongly, and tries to remove himself from the situation as fast as possible. Typically if it’s really bad, he’s not going to want to talk about it and might just disappear for a bit—he’ll either get on his bike and go for a ride, or go clubbing/dancing. If it’s bad, and he feels like he can’t be around people, he might go spar with a training bag, and try to get some of his agitation out that way. Most of his coping skills are typically very physical—and all things considered, usually fairly healthy outlets. He tries to wear himself out enough that he doesn’t have to think very hard, or just surround himself with so much noise/stimulation he literally can’t focus on anything else.

🏀--Does your OC have any skills that people wouldn’t expect them to have? Do they have a hobby or pass time that others would consider strange or weird? How did they learn this particular skill or pick up this hobby?

Hiro is a surprisingly talented baker. He obviously never had much time for it before he left the Tyger Claws, or the opportunity to do something he’d consider so frivolous, but he picked it up from Mama Welles after he met Jackie. For the fact that he’s still pretty nervous cooking, he’s actually a decent baker, and enjoys how much he can tune everything else out while he’s doing it. He rarely bakes for himself, seeing it as something that isn’t necessarily worth the cost of supplies/the time commitment, but if there was even an inkling that someone else would appreciate it—they’d be quick to find some sort of homemade treat waiting for them when they least expect it—and as he’d be quick to point out—he looks damn cute in an apron. Most of his hobbies are pretty normal—dancing, boxing, rock climbing, and usually fairly physical. He’s been dancing for a long time, but the boxing he picked up from Jackie/Viktor, and the rock climbing from Victory. He also loves to race bikes and this is a definitely a hold-over from his TC days. It’s not necessarily a weird hobby, but people usually don’t expect him to like clothing/shopping as much as he does—and it’s usually where a lot of his extra income disappears to (well that and expensive stuff for his hair.)

🐟--What was your OC like as a baby? What were they like as a child? A teenager? An adult? How do you think they’ll develop ten years into their future? Twenty years? Will they live to old age?

Hiro was a really quiet child—and desperate for any sort of guidance/attention. His role models growing up weren’t good ones, and they definitely used this as an opportunity to manipulate him. He was very approval-seeking, and would take that wherever he could find it, even if meant trusting people he probably shouldn’t have. Granted, he didn’t know much better, but the lesson stuck with him, and it left him a much warier adult. Hiro was a god-awful shit as a teenager. He was still in the Tyger Claws at the time, and there was a lot of repressed anger/trauma there with almost zero outlets. There are a few relationships he maintains from before he cut ties with TC, but they are few and far between, Judy and Viktor being the biggest ones—and even those went through rocky periods.

Ten years into the future, it really depends if he can stay clear of the gangs or not. The likelihood of him allying himself with a corporation is slim to none, but enough bad choices/impulsive decisions might still lead him down a not-so-good path. Twenty years—he’d either be the healthiest he’s ever been, with strong relationships with others, and a circle of people he’s truly grown to trust, or what he absolutely used to dread/fear becoming. It all depends on whether he puts personal relationships/growth over what’s easier for him/seems to come a little too easily, and lets himself get consumed by the darker side of Night City. Regardless, he’d probably survive to old age—honestly out of sheer spite. He’s always been driven by survival/keeping himself alive, and would honestly do so even if only to outlive his enemies. Even into older age though, he’d still try to keep himself sharp. Whatever the case, the likelihood of a peaceful retirement somewhere seems far-fetched. He’d still manage to find his way into the middle of things, even if only unintentionally.

❤️--What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them?

Oh boy, I’ll try not to get too long-winded with this. Hiro started as an OC for an unnamed futuristic story—probably about two-ish years ago? I’d just seen Bladerunner (as well as the more recent sequel) for the first time, and I’d never gotten too deeply into the genre before. But I realized I wanted to create a character that would fit into one one these universes—someone scrappy, a survivor at heart, and who wasn’t afraid to risk his own safety for his found family. He didn’t have a lot of depth when I first created him (although the name stuck—he was always Hiro, and it never felt right changing it). He initially was a lot less sympathetic, and honestly—even aggravated me a bit. I tried to create a character that was a little more balanced, and someone who had flaws but wasn’t completely unlikeable, and who’s impulsive actions led to actual, lasting consequences. His initial character (even before I fit him into the CP universe) began as a sort of android, who could almost, but not quite pass as human. He still has fairly extensive cybernetics, and relies on them heavily, but not as much as he had previously.

Even when I was first developing him as a Cyberpunk OC, he was more focused on guns/ranged weapons/stealth. It was only after playing cyberpunk, that my play-style began to influence his character and he became much more strength/melee based. And honestly? I’m really happy he did. He’s not my usual type of character, at least in that regard and it’s been fun leaning into it—and making him this character who’d rather punch first and think later. (Also not at all influenced by the fact that I’m impatient as hell and net hacking/stealth just takes so long.) He developed along-side Vic, and her character really helped me to realize how Hiro would interact with other characters—especially ones who have such different backstories/upbringing, and the process of creating him, and being able to bounce ideas off someone else (“hey wouldn’t it be cool if this happened?”) was a huge part in inspiring me, and was so helpful, having someone to respond to that character and provide their own feedback (and vice-versa). Also honestly, Hiro was created after a long period of me not being super creative/artistically motivated. It was the middle of COVID and I was so fucking bored, and not doing much outside of work and classes. So he was an amazing creative outlet for me—helped to get me to start writing again, and eventually led me to tumblr/discord and a lot of really fantastic people, and the sort of community I’d needed.

Wow, uh sorry this got so long. But man, thanks for asking--was really, really fun 😍💖

[ickle-ronniekins]

For your writing project about falling in and out of love: I fell in love with a friend (not a close one) I had known for about ten years and I had a crush on him for almost that long, yet I was always too shy to tell him. He was a year older than me and very funny and talented. I remember always laughing really hard at his jokes and when I look back at my favorite moments from high school and middle school (which were some of the darkest years of my life), a lot of them involve him. I always used to always tell myself I couldn’t possibly fall in love with him until after we at least started dating, but there was one day when I watched him perform a song on his acoustic guitar at a concert and it literally felt like we were the only two people in the room, even though it was packed full of people, and that was when I knew I had fallen hard. We were in a few musicals together and were cast as love interests a few times. Though we never kissed or anything for those roles, but I always loved being on stage with him and being able to hold his hand and say all those things that I secretly felt but was too shy to say to him. There were a lot of instances where I accidentally moved towards him during a scene when I was supposed to be standing still or a couple times when I almost kissed him during really charged moments between our characters. I remember once when I held his hand (the first time I did after realizing how I felt about him— there’s a lot of opportunities to hold people’s hands in theater!) I literally felt like fireworks were going off, the same way you feel when you kiss someone.

Part of the reason I never told him was because by the time I got close to working up the nerve, he had a girlfriend. To this day, she was one of the kindest people I have ever known. I didn’t want to disrupt anything because I really cared for them both and wanted them to be happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. I tried to get over him a few times when he was dating her but it was almost impossible whenever we would hang out with our friends, and I always wanted to be his friend if nothing else, so I would bury my feelings. Their relationship really wasn’t the best (they managed to bring out some of the worst aspects of one another) and broke up, but even then I couldn’t feel happy about it because I knew he was hurting and I didn’t want to make a move when I knew he was grieving his relationship. By the time I worked up the nerve again, he started dating a different girl and I felt like my heart had been smashed into a million pieces... but even then, I could seem to get over him. I would get drunk and cry about him at parties and I didn’t believe anyone who told me that I could do better or that I would meet someone better suited for me because it didn’t seem possible... and then the pandemic happened.

The pandemic put a barrier between us and was a very physical sign that made me slowly realize we would never happen as a couple, which was a difficult thing to comprehend. I have always been a romantic and believed in soulmates. By this point in my life, I had convinced myself that he was mine and that it was only a matter of time before we got together, and it was always really easy to slip back into that mindset whenever I saw him again, but with a pandemic disrupting everything, it was easier to actively resolve on getting over him— at first, it was more tabling the idea of getting together in the nearish future but resolving to be with him if things worked out much later in our lives, like in a very rom-comesque way. When I started committing to that, I slowly started to love myself more and realize I had incredibly low self esteem and had overlooked some of his more glaring flaws because I didn’t believe I could find someone who watched my exact standards. I began to understand that we were just also incompatible with one another— for example, I hate being late to the point of showing up incredibly early to things in order to avoid it, whereas he habitually shows up an hour late to just about everything with Starbucks; I always told myself that I could change him, which I know now was an unfair expectation. As time went on and I slowly realized my worth, I also came to realize that even if he were to ever ask me out, my answer would probably be no because I was now just a whole different person who had grown up.

But the falling out of love process was an incredibly painful one. I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights. Like I said, I really thought he was my soulmate and that we were really destined for one another, so when I understood that we weren’t, it made me cynical about the whole concept of love for a while because it felt like everything I had ever known about it wasn’t real and that I had been stupid for being so naïve. I was angry with myself for a while and angry at him, too, because I was hard for me to comprehend that I was falling out of love with someone who hadn’t done anything wrong. I had been so convinced that my love for him was so strong that it would take something monumental, like him suddenly revealing himself to be the antithesis of what I thought he was (ex. a cheater, abusive, racist, etc.) for it to ever shake, yet he hadn’t done anything. He occasionally made some poor decisions (like an ugly tattoo or smoking) but it wasn’t anything regarding his moral character that changed who he was. It was me who was really changing and maturing.

I’ve only seen him once since falling out of love, and there were still those lingering feelings of my teenage self lurking beneath the surface. It really threw me off and I found myself distracted by his hands as he played his guitar and my heart would beat fast when he would talk directly to me or blush, but I was more clear-headed than I have been in a long time, almost clinical. I was able to think through my answers to his questions without stammering them out and I was nowhere near as nervous as I once was around him. Part of it might just be my own growth, but certain things he did that I once would have been swooning over didn’t affect me at all. I was upset when I went home because I wasn’t as far along in my moving-on process as I wanted to be and I definitely cried to some sad songs that night, but in the end I was grateful for it because it felt like a check-in to gauge how far along I really was. Back then, I was still in sort of a “maybe one day” phase; now I’m in a “probably not”. I think there’s still a part of my teenage self inside of me yet that still loves, but every day that goes by, I feel less and less like her and more like an adult.

I still sort of feel cynical about love but the one thing that has helped me is reminding myself that I will fall in love again someday with someone who will love me back and he will be right for me. He’s not going to be a perfect person by any means but we will be more compatible. I know I haven’t met him yet but I am really excited to meet my person, even though for the first time in my life I’m enjoying being single. I’m also loving the person who I have become and all the growth I’ve made— for example, a month ago I would have cried while writing and reminiscing about all this, but I didn’t get teary once! As hard and as agonizing as it was at different points, I’m so glad all of it happened because it made me who I am today.

Sorry for writing an entire novel here, I hope it was useful for what you are writing! Have a wonderful day my lovely, I hope this helps you write whatever wonderful thing you are planning!!!! 💜💜💜

this. this is just about the most beautiful thing i have ever read. oh my goodness gracious.

can i tell you lovely anon, that i could physically feel your growth within every single word? the way you described your friendship with this boy in the beginning... it reminded me of how i felt about a boy when i was a teenager. i was head over heels for him, though i never admitted it to myself until years later, after we stopped talking. your feelings felt so genuine and pure and just about every lovely thing you’d expect from a teenage romance. and as i continued reading on through your story and found myself heartbroken for the both of you, i can see just how much you’ve grown -- not only in the sense of recognizing that he wasn’t the one and letting him go, but also realizing your own worth and what you want out of love.

i felt so deeply every ounce of your heartbreak. i remember the boy i loved was with someone the entire time we were friends. i met him when he was in a relationship and we stopped talking just a few months after they had broken up. they were together for years, and i loved him every single second of every single day. that was over ten years ago now. sometimes i think of him and wonder how i’d feel if i ever saw him again. sometimes i feel like a sixteen year old again when he creeps into my thoughts. the nerves sometimes trickle back too, but he’s married now. i didn’t realize it until after we had stopped talking, but i so desperately wanted to be with him, and i was broken for years afterwards realizing we never would be.

please, do not apologize for writing a novel. this is exactly what i was looking for. thank you for being brave and sharing your story with a complete stranger. i’m just in awe of you as a person and your outlook on love.

i have such a difficult time telling myself that i’ll find the right person and he’ll love me and i won’t have to doubt anything. it’s something i struggle with every single dang day. but your words have moved me. you absolutely will find the right person, and he’ll love you and every single thing about you, and you’ll remember this boy who you loved when you were young and remember why you two never ended up together... because the one you’re meant to be with is getting to you as fast as he possibly can.

UGH THIS IS EVERYTHING. it brought me back to years ago. thank you so very much for sharing. this was just so fucking gorgeous jegnolvadnsf i cannot.

[gautier-desroches]

▪︎ Gautier Desroches ▪︎

Bio down below ! 🔻🔻🔻

◦ ғᴜʟʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ◦

Gautier Desroches 

◦ ʜɪᴘᴘʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ◦

Aurahaze

◦ ᴀɢᴇ ◦

23

◦ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ ᴏғ ʙɪʀᴛʜ ◦

October 22

◦ ᴢᴏᴅɪᴀᴄ sʏᴍʙᴏʟ ◦

Libra

◦ ɢᴇɴᴅᴇʀ ◦

Male

◦ ᴘʀᴇғᴇʀʀᴇᴅ ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴs ◦

He/Him

◦ sᴇxᴜᴀʟɪᴛʏ ◦

Gay

◦ ᴇᴛʜɴɪᴄɪᴛʏ ◦

French

◦ ʜᴇɪɢʜᴛ ◦

6’1” (185 cm)

◦ ᴡᴇɪɢʜᴛ ◦

135 Ibs

◦ ᴛᴀᴛᴛᴏᴏs/sᴄᴀʀs/ᴘɪᴇʀᴄɪɴɢs ◦

Nipple piercings. Usually wears long chain jewelry there. Also has a tattoo of a cat on his shoulder.

◦ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

Gautier is the definition of a sweetheart. He’s constantly making sure the people around him feel comfortable and loved, and always offering emotional advice and moral support. Literally the first thing he asks someone when he first meets them is their preferred pronouns and any triggers they have.

Defense: “But the officers called me Mr. at the crime scene? I thought you knew that?”

Gautier: -comforting smile as he puts a hand on their shoulder- “Just ‘cause someone calls you something doesn’t mean it’s accurate. Also I use ‘dude’ and ‘man’ as a gender neutral term, but if that ever bothers you I can adjust immediately”

This kindness also seems to shine in court, as he even provides support for the defense when they’re feeling down. 

Defense: -is super stressed out because they’ve gone on a wild theory and doesn’t know what evidence to present-

Gautier: “Hey man…just take a breath. Clear your mind, and the answer will come to you. I believe in you dude, you can do this”

Even his objections don’t hold much bite, as he usually points out the flaw in the defense’s claim gently instead of mockingly. 

“Not to throw off your vibes, dude…I’m totally digging where you’re going with your theory but like…that kind of contradicts this evidence, right?”

This aspect of himself, while in his tender nature, is also due to the fact that he cares more about the truth than winning. 

Gautier is a fun mix of your stereotypical teenage skater boy and hippy. The first because of his tendency to use words such as “Dude, bruh, killer, radical, etc” and the second because he’s very in tune with emotions and nature. He’s also a little stupid when it comes to stuff people usually know? A bit of a ditz, if you will. 

Someone: “Are you the breadwinner of the household?”

Gautier: “Duuuude….I won bread? That’s like…so killer man. I hope it’s whole wheat…”

However, don’t underestimate him. Gautier is quite intelligent when it comes to tougher topics, like law, emotions, science, and other schooly subjects. It often throws people for a loop when he corrects them about certain facts in a long tangent. 

Gautier, other than law, also loves music. It’s his side career. But while he knows how to play guitar and piano he isn’t trying to make a career out of them. He’s actually trying to become a famous kazoo player. 

“The kazoo just brings so much happiness and laughter to people, man…it really speaks to me”

Gautier, surprisingly, tends to put off more people than he should. Mostly his coworkers. People see the way he acts so carefree and unprofessional and look down on him. Some also aren’t fond of his empathetic side, as Gautier is more sensitive than most. He is sometimes known to go in “Moods”, where he’s down about something he’s learned. These can range from actual dark topics, to the death of a bug on his way to work. As you may realize, this can be tough to deal with when you’re trying to get something done and he’s busy sulking. 

All in all though, Gautier is a genuinely good dude, and more cooperative with the defense than he probably should be. 

◦ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛʀᴀɪᴛs ◦

◦ Empathetic

◦ Honest

◦ Passionate

◦ Intelligent 

◦ ʙᴀᴅ ᴛʀᴀɪᴛs ◦

◦ Not common sense smart

◦ Gullible

◦ Sensitive

◦ Physically touchy

◦ sᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜs ◦

◦ Catching on to the little things in a case

◦ Noticing his witnesses emotions

◦ Making a witness that’s about to breakdown feel better

◦ Doesn’t lie, so never caught in any. Also has very lax body language, so hard to detect his nervous ticks unless he’s in a mood.

◦ ᴡᴇᴀᴋɴᴇssᴇs ◦

◦ Animals (Allergic)

◦ Easy for Athena to detect his emotions since he’s very open with them.

◦ Because he never lies, if he’s forced to he’s super bad at it.

◦ When in a mood, he’s a flurry of ticks. He gets a twitchy pouting lip, he rubs the back of his neck, he hides in his hair more, etc. When not in a mood, his nervous ticks are well hidden because they’re mistaken for carefree confidence. Ex, widened smiles, hands in pockets, blowing hair out of face. Of course, these are easier to see for the trained eye.

◦ ғᴇᴀʀs/ᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀs ◦

◦ Lighting & Thunder

◦ Darkness

◦ Background ◦

Gautier was raised in Seattle for his childhood days. His life was relatively normal, learning both of his mother’s behaviors and teachings as he grew. He was a very bright child, quick to learn and quick to make friends because of his carefree nature. As he grew though, children who were once fascinated by his connection with earth and its inhabitants started to find him strange. That only got worse when his family moved to France for his high school years. 

Gautier stuck out like a sore thumb, not suited socially to the expensive school his parents signed him up for. They had wanted him to have wonderful opportunities, especially since his mom needed the family to move for work reasons. But that only backfired as he became a target of bullying. It didn’t help that the teachers saw him as a problem child as, despite his good grades, he had a tendency for violating uniform guidelines, had a ‘marijuana user’ way of speaking (not the nicest thing to overhear a teaching saying), etc. 

The bullying took its worst turn on the night of the overnight musicthon. An event where musicians of the school would write a song overnight, and the best song would win tuition money for college. That night there was a dreadful storm, and his bullies had locked him outside on one of the school’s upper floor verandas, trapping him in the downpour. It only got worse when the storm left the school in a blackout. Now left in scary darkness, Gautier was panicked. He curled up on the floor, hoping to avoid the edge so he wouldn’t fall off. 

That was when it struck. 

A shot of lighting, just outside of the veranda.

The crack of light and overwhelming roar of thunder left Gautier in shambles. It’s strike resulted in a broken telephone wire, the edge slicing his shoulder and leaving a nasty scar. Despite the injury, Gautier was too scared to move. Even after the storm was over, Gautier didn’t move from his spot, hands covering his ears and eyes shut with fear. He was found by a teacher hours later, and quickly taken to the hospital.

His mother, Séraphine Desroches, came to the school the next day. Her son wasn’t telling her who did it, so she would find out herself. Being a prosecutor for years, it didn’t take her long to piece together what happened. She waited until her son was better to take action, demanding an audience with the principal, bullies, their parents, the teachers that were on watch that night, etc. Then she got to work, accusing the boys responsible with elegance, intimidation and hard evidence. Needless to say the boys were expelled once their actions were brought to light. 

That incident stuck with Gautier in more ways than one. It left him with an extreme fear of lighting, thunder, and darkness. And it made him want to pursue being a prosecutor. The way his mom had pieced together her argument and gotten justice for him was inspiring, and an insane relief. He wanted to give that feeling to every person that had been wronged. So, after his last two years of high school spent in a less snooty school, he took up law in college (as well as therapy) and the rest is history.

◦ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴏᴄᴄᴜᴘᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ◦

Prosecutor and musician.

◦ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ◦

Mom: Tilda Desroches (Auramother Soulquest) - 50 years old. Pet Groomer. 

Mom: Séraphine Desroches - 53 years old. Prosecutor. 

◦ sɪʙʟɪɴɢs ◦

None

◦ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴛɪᴄ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛ ◦

None

° VOICE HEADCANON °

Matthew Gallenstein 

Ex. Finn from Life is Strange 2

[some-mad-lunge]

What Might Have Been - Malex Fic

Alex leaves Roswell the day after his and Michael’s almost kiss. He comes back for his high school reunion and realizes some things never change, like the way a certain curly haired boy makes him feel. (Malex AU)

This is for @fraudulentzodiacs​ to make her smile. You are loved darling.

***************************

You can’t go home again, isn’t that what they say? What they should say is don’t go home again. Alex Manes had made that vital mistake, gone home and he regretted it. Why? Because he was sitting in a rented luxury SUV, AC running as he tried to pump himself up enough to get out of the damn car.

He’d had his reasons for wanting to show up his 10 year high school reunion but he couldn’t remember them right now.

Well two reasons actually, only two and he did remember them.

First, to throw a John Hughes style middle finger to the four years of hell he’d had within those walls and the people who’d made it that way.

The second? To lay eyes one more time on the boy that was the only reason those same years were even slightly bearable.

Alex wasn’t usually nostalgic, which was ironic given that he was a songwriter. He was paid large amounts of money to make melodies and prose into art, to make people feel something. It didn’t mean he always saw the beauty in the sunset or in the healing of a broken heart. It didn’t mean he looked backwards at all. He normally avoided it at all costs.

It just happened that his invitation to the reunion had arrived less than 48 hours after his interview with Rolling Stone. He’d been picked, along with nine other songwriters, to be a part of their “Voices Of A Generation” issue. It was a tremendous honour and a validation he’d never known he’d needed until he had it.

It didn’t matter that he had two Grammy’s, countless other awards and chart topping hits. It didn’t matter that he had Beyoncé’s and Taylor Swift’s personal numbers saved in his cell phone. It didn’t matter that he had a house in Malibu and an apartment in Manhattan. It didn’t matter what anyone in Roswell thought about him then or what they thought now, especially not Alex’s father.

No, what mattered was that he'd been chosen by Rolling Stone to represent the voice of the very people who had shunned him back in the day. They had tried to make him hate who he was and had failed miserably in their attempts.

Now they listened to his message, they sang along to his lyrics and that was a fuck you very much he wasn’t going to turn down delivering.

But none of it, not one single bit of it, would have been possible without Michael Guerin.

Alex could still remember it like it was yesterday, Michael’s lips, Michael’s eyes. Warm breath on Alex’s face and the moment of finally before it was gone and the soul crushing love of his life had pulled away before it could even begin. Instead it ended and so did any reason to hang on.

If that hadn’t happened Alex wouldn’t have packed his bags that night. He wouldn't have taken out all his savings, bought a bus ticket and gotten out of New Mexico before anyone knew he was gone. He wouldn’t have sat staring out the window as the dessert went by, not bothering to hide his tears as he wrote “Cosmic Love” in his spiral notebook.

It was a song about a love that you can run from but never leave behind. The kind of love that is everywhere and in everything, that sustains you just as much as it makes you bleed. A love that only two people could understand. The love Alex had always felt for Michael.

The lyrics had flowed out of him in one go, the notes he played the first time at a rest stop under a flickering light at 2:00am.

A song that less than a year later made the gay teenage outcast of Roswell a force to be reckoned with.

If Michael hadn’t taken away Alex’s only reason to stay, he never would have left. Alex felt like he owed Michael somehow for crushing his heart.

It hadn’t been that easy of course, but for once luck had been on Alex’s side. Los Angeles had been the escape he’d always dreamed of. He met people like himself, the outcasts, the freaks and the artists. He’d met boys, and men, unashamed to look him up and down, desire him. He’d been allowed to kiss in coffee shops and hold someone’s hand at the beach. He’d sat in the sand and played his guitar in between shifts at the souvenir kiosk where he’d gotten a job.

He’d been in LA six months when he’d met Jason. Alex strummed his guitar, black polish chipping off his nails, hard cement of the boardwalk under him. Jason, who had a voice like honey, sat beside him out of the blue one day and started singing along. Jason, who instantly became his best friend, and then shortly after became Jason Rast.

Cosmic Love had been Jason’s first single off his debut album, and it changed both of their lives.

Alex Manes might write the voice of a generation but Jason Rast sang it, gave it life. He was the epitome of a rock star with a heart of gold. Fame hadn’t changed him, or their friendship. Or how much he liked to text.

Jason - Have you seen him yet? Did he get fat? I bet he got fat.

Alex - I’m hiding in the parking lot.

Jason - You know you have two Grammy’s right? Fuck those people.

Alex - Why did I want to do this again?

Jason- Do you want me to send a jet to come get you? We could go to Vegas. Adam Levine is there, he always throws a good bender.

Alex - You hate Levine.

Jason - Everyone hates him. It’s like a rule.

Alex - No. I’m going to do this. I can do this.

Jason - MY MAN!

Jason - Let me know if he got fat.

Alex pulled himself out of the car, smoothed the front of his button down shirt. He could have gone full celebrity and worn something designer. That was probably what everyone was expecting of him but it didn’t mean that’s who Alex was. Sure his jeans were probably too expensive by most people’s standards but they made his ass look amazing. He did have to face the unrequited love of his life after all.

He walked through the parking lot filled with cars but void of people. He could hear the music coming from the open gym doors, the muffled voices of his past. The sun was starting to set, casting everything in moody pinks and reds.

For some reason he headed towards the football field. Not that Alex had ever played the sport or even gone to a game unless dragged there. No, he’d spent his time under the bleachers playing his guitar or smoking a cigarette when he should have been in class pretending anyone at home gave a shit about him.

Alex had perfected being moody and pissed about the unfairness of life as a teenager. It had been warranted but it was still a damn cliche.

He finally stopped with his hands in his pockets, took in the spot he’d sat with Maria or Liz, sometimes even Michael, but mostly alone. Just him and his guitar. This place seemed bigger back then, the whole world had.

“Looks exactly the same doesn’t it?” The voice from behind Alex didn’t make him jump, it never had. Instead it slide over him like a caress, heat and smoke, easy to fall into if he wanted. He took a deep breath and looked over his shoulder.

Time had been good to Michael Guerin. Correction, time had been sucking Michael Guerin’s dick and thanking him for the pleasure. He looked like sex personified, low slung jeans and curls that Alex still wished he had felt against his fingers just one time.

Michael was a little older, a little rougher around the edges but he still made a shiver go up Alex’s spine. It was like being 18 all over again.

“Of all the things I expect to change in this world Roswell isn’t one of them.” Alex smiled through the words. It was Michael and even when breaking Alex’s heart he was still the best thing about this God awful town.

He got a grin back, Michael walking forward so Alex can meet him in the handshake/half hug that seems to be the straight man staple. He felt breath on his cheek for a second so it was worth it.

“I can’t believe you came.” Michael seemed genuinely happy to see Alex, which he had to admit surprised him.

“Me neither.” He’s a liar but no one needs to know that.

“FYI, Isobel has your Rolling Stones cover up on the “Alumni Wall Of Fame.” It’s right next to Marcus Boyle’s USDGC gold medal.”

“USDGC?”

“United States Disc Golf Championship.”

Alex can’t stop the punch of laughter that escapes. Michael always did that to him, made him feel without fear. Alex could laugh or he could cry but it was easy, and it was safe.

“Is the medal in the shape of a frisbee?” Alex can’t help but meet Michael’s eyes, fascinated that they are exactly the same as he remembers them. Exactly like he still dreamed about most nights.

“No, but now that I think about it that is clearly a gross oversight.”

They stand side by side, their snorts of laughter fading into comfortable silence. Their kind of comfortable, with a pop of electricity that snapped between them. Alex would never forget how devastated he’d been when he realized he was the only one that had ever felt it.

He kind of wants to go back in time and give 18 year old Alex a hug. At 28 he’s unsure how to handle this feeling, 10 years ago must have been terrifying. He doesn’t remember it that way. Michael had never scared him, Michael had fascinated him.

“Should we head in?” Alex turned to the gym, as ready as he’d ever be to face the masses, but a hand on his arm stopped him. The fingers are so hot Alex wasn’t sure how he didn’t catch on fire. He had to fight the part of him that just wanted to press those hands to his bare skin and burn alive.

“Or we could hide under the bleachers with the cooler of beer I put there just in case.” Michael’s smile is small, and if Alex has read it right, a little bit unsure. A peace offering? Which was ridiculous, it wasn’t Michael’s fault that he hadn’t felt the way Alex always did.

No, it wasn’t anyone’s fault that Alex had spent most of his life continuously falling for Michael Guerin.

Alex had been so heartbroken he hadn’t realized when he’d run away he wasn’t the only one who had lost something. Michael had been Alex’s ideal, but Alex had been Michael’s friend. One of the choice few. For a moment he was ashamed of himself. But Alex had done what he needed to do for his own survival back then. He shouldn’t regret it now, but seeing Michael’s face, a part of him did. Alex owed him, even if it would probably smash his heart all over again.

“Lead the way cowboy.”

They ducked under metal bars and squeezed through small openings to get to Alex’s favourite hideaway. It was perfectly hidden, right where two sets of bleachers met in a corner. There were two blankets and cooler with a black cowboy hat perched on top. As Michael sat Alex pulled out his phone, took a picture of the initials he’d scrawled in black sharpie back in the day.

AM WAS HERE/QUEER.

There’s other initials now, some with the same message as his. It makes him feel connected to the kids who came after. The ones who hid here just like he had. He wonders if he’d helped anyone feel less alone.

Alex suddenly feels suffocated by Michael’s gaze, like it’s running the length of him in a slow trail. He’s imagining it, he knows he is, but he lets himself.

Finally he sits across from Michael, his legs tucked as comfortably as he can on the blanket left for him. He gladly takes the beer bottle handed his way, sighs after a long sip.

“So Guerin, do anything interesting in the last 10 years?”

And yeah, Michael’s laugh still sends Alex’s stomach into somersaults. Some things just never changed.

*********

They’re three beers in, the initial awkwardness gone. Their legs are spread out in front of them, Alex is mesmerized by the warmth of Michael’s thigh against his calf. It makes him want what he can’t have, but it’s a feeling he’s used to.

Alex is surprised that Michael never left Roswell, never went to university like he planned. He’s cagey on the details so Alex doesn’t push. Guerin doesn’t seem unhappy but he’s also not content. There’s something missing in his life. Alex can tell. They were always the same, the two of them.

They keep it light and easy. Alex shares stories of LA and the lack of glamor. How he enjoys fame without actually being famous enough to be recognized on the street. He’ll be the first to admit his life isn’t as exciting as people think.

Michael catches him up on Roswell and how much everything is basically exactly the same.

“I was sad to find out the museum closed, I thought I would check and see if they had any new displays.” Alex meant it as a joke but he watches something akin to pain flash in Michael’s eyes. Maybe it’s the shadows from the flood lights, or maybe…

“Michael?!” Alex would know that voice anywhere, Isobel Evans on the warpath. The beer had made him loose, or maybe it’s the insanity of the situation but he can’t help himself. He starts to giggle.

Michael shushes him but it’s no use, Alex can hear the click of Isobel’s heels as they come closer. He can’t stop, he just keeps imaging the blonde princess’s face if she discovers them. That is until Michael reaches forward, one hand to the back of Alex neck and the other to cover his giggling mouth.

He freezes, because suddenly he’s overcome with the warmth surrounding him. The fizz in his stomach now a full blown tornado and the sensation of fingers softly digging into his skin. Michael’s eyes are locked with his, and the world just melts away. He doesn’t know if Isobel has left. He doesn’t know if he’s dreaming but he can’t help himself. That was always his problem. His heart has a mind of its own and it’s always said one thing over and over again.

Michael.

He does the most insane and yet natural thing before he can think better of it, and presses his lips to Michael’s palm in a soft kiss. He does it selfishly, for himself. So Alex can say once, just once, that he got to.

Michael’s eyes soften, his hand gone from Alex’s mouth. Instead it palms Alex’s cheek, a calloused thumb ghosting against his mouth. The moan it brings out of him, Alex would be ashamed of it wasn’t the most honest sound he’s ever made.

It’s there, that flash of heat in Michael’s eyes. The one Alex always thought he’d imagined. It’s real this time and it’s everything he remembers.

They meet in the middle, wet and open from the start. Michael’s tongue a direct shock to his dick, already hard and wanting. Alex wants to weep when he finally gets to slide his fingers into that hair, feel the curls catch and release. He tastes like beer and every good memory Alex ever had.

Michael’s hands are greedy and they’re everywhere. Alex feels the imprint of them long after they slide from his shoulders to his waist, a hard tug as they fist into his shirt. Somehow he’s dragged into Michael’s lap, the earth hard on his knees as he grinds down. It makes Alex whimper, he has to lose those lips to gasp for breath and hold on.

Michael’s arms are holding him so tight, a hand sliding up under his shirt, teeth scraping against his neck. It makes his hips move faster, chasing something he can’t even name. They’re rhythm and Michael’s quick movements are going to end him.

Warm lips drag a path to his ear, breath heavy and wanton. “Always knew it would be like this.”

It sends shockwaves through Alex, digs in deep, the reality that he hadn’t been the only one all those years ago. That he isn’t the only one currently drowning now.

“Michael…”

He’s grasped tighter, held fast and whatever he was about to say disappears. They’re lined up perfectly and Alex has never hated denim more in his life. He wants to slow this down, take his time. He wants to imprint everything to memory, horde it for the lonely nights that are sure to follow. Michael won’t let him, maybe he can’t. It doesn’t matter, not anymore.

Alex needs to kiss him again, so he does. They’re too out of breath, too keyed up. They’re just panting into each other’s mouths and lighting the world on fire. It’s all happening so fast, years of feeling focused into right here and right now.

He’s so close, he’s so fucking close to dying and he can’t get their soon enough. Michael bites Alex’s bottom lip, pain and pleasure and everything in between. He forces his gaze to stay on Michael’s face, that fierce look of possession mixed with awe. Every dream Alex ever had paled in comparison to the real thing.

“Come on baby. I’ve waited a decade for this, don’t deny me now.”

That’s all it takes, the demand in Michael’s words and what they really mean. It’s pulled out of Alex, like a gut punch of galaxies, the burn of the sun. He’s not alone, he feels all of it. Michael’s pleasure, his own eternity and bliss, quakes with it in every nerve ending.

Finally he floats back down, weightless and perfect. His arms still wrapped around Michael, his face pressed into soft flannel. He never wants to let go. Hands are still clutched into his skin. Unheard words are whispered into his shoulder. Alex just tries to relearn how to breathe.

It’s fingers on his face that finally has him moving again, their foreheads pressed together.

“What the fuck was that?” Alex kisses it into Michael’s mouth, in awe of how much he still wants him. How much he always has, how much he always will.

Michael pulls back, runs his thumbs over Alex’s cheeks. His eyes are bright and brilliant, his voice clearer than it has any right to be.

“Cosmic Love.”

Alex stills for a second, has to close his own eyes from what it makes him feel. He never thought Michael would know the song was about him. He should of, of course he should have, who else could it have ever been?

“I went looking for you the next day. Searched everywhere. If I could go back...” Michael’s looking at him like he used to, another thing Alex hadn’t imagined after all. “I knew you’d leave Alex, but you were always supposed to take me with you.”

Alex sees it all in Michael's eyes, all the loneliness and pain of the past reflected back at him. So much regret it breaks his heart all over again. Only this time, this time Alex gets to do it right.

“How quickly can you pack?” He means it, God does Alex mean it. Presses his lips all over Michael’s face, soft and sweet. Years of love he finally gets to show, to give to the boy who helped Alex survive. Now the man he still feels every bit of it for.

Michael stops his caresses, something shutters in his eyes and it hurts. Alex feels the world start to cave in. He tries to pull away, because he can’t lose this again. Not after what they just shared, he won’t survive it.

“No, don’t.” Michael holds fast, searches Alex’s face. “I just need to tell you something first. It might...it could change things.”

“It won’t.” Alex knows it couldn’t.

“Alex…”

He runs his fingers through curls, revels in finally being allowed to.

“I promise you, it won’t.”

They’re still pressed together under the bleachers when Alex learns the truth. It should shock him, it should scare him. It doesn’t, not even a little. He just listens and he believes and none of it matters.

It’s Michael and him, it’s them and what they’ve always been. It’s cosmic, and now Alex knows why.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (Jan 13)

With the snow outside and cancellations everywhere, I have more time to kick back, relax, and not do anything. Seriously, playing out in the snow and being an absolute bum is my specialty.

Dropped

Darwin's Game 

It just seemed like Mirai Nikki but updated to smartphones instead of flip phones and with a new interface and system. Seriously, it’s like someone watched Mirai Nikki and went “I can remake this and rake in the money”. The animation wasn’t good (according to our local sakuga geek, there were less than 10 animators who worked on the 40 min premiere because of the inhumane conditions of the studio which adds to the yikes), the soundtrack was great (but I won’t watch a show just for the soundtrack/seiyuu cast), and overall, I felt like I didn’t want to put myself through a show like this.

Uta no Prince-sama

I couldn’t do it fam. I watched two episodes and nearly cried on the inside because it felt like Kiniro no Corda but with a new bland face with new bland characters. I never watched either of these fully. I tried to watch just for the seiyuu (*ahem* Miyuki Sawashiro), but imagine having your life hobbies made into an absolute joke by a character who can’t even read music and is in the composition department while her main song of choice is “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and the ikemen around her and swooning over it and writing their own songs for her. The guys all have the same faces too! They’re triangle heads that can only be differentiated by colour palette. I’m telling the difference based on voices at this point. I don’t want the ikemen, but I would like people to be into my music too ya know! You may think that I’m dropping this anime purely out of spite for the story and characters, and you’re damn right I am. 

Seasonal Stuff

Pet

This is this close to being dropped, and I don’t mean for the strong BL vibes. It’s a little cringy but not that bad (I’ve watched a lot of cringe straight romance and to me it’s all the same). It just feels so poorly constructed right now. The universe just hangs by a thread with characters I feel ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for. Everything in this anime feels so cheap. I’m giving this one more week before I give it the axe.

Rikei ga Koi ni Ochita no de Shoumei shitemita 

Okay, this anime is stupid, but we all went in knowing it was going to be very stupid. You’ve seen the screencaps. You’ve seen the cliches. Now get ready to have a pretentious science spin on it as if you haven’t seen these scenes a million times before elsewhere, and the characters (at least one of them) know it. The art... it’s present. I mean, character designs are giving the guys of Reddit what they want (especially with Sora Amamiya being really popular and singing the OP along with voicing the main character). Yuuma Uchida is also there. Nothing really worth noting here except “stay in school kids so you can become a pretentious science kid with no people skills!”

Dorohedoro

I might just watch this anime in place of “Pet” because this anime has a much brighter outlook and despite being CG genuinely looks better anyway. It’s the horror that I wanted to fill the void with (since Pet genuinely isn’t scary or innovative). Everything was pretty good with the first episode! I’m looking forward to seeing more!

From here on out, the rest of the seasonal list are the ones I look forward to the most! Get that head lizardman!

Runway de Waratte 

At first, this doesn’t seem like something that would come out of Shonen Weekly, but it inspires a good message about being who you want to be even with limitations if front of you. You have a girl too short to be considered a model and a guy who designs fashion without having the money to pursue it further. I know nothing about style, but I do know things about being short! Maybe that’s why I have such a soft spot for it...

ID:Invaded

This anime gets more interesting as we go along. I’m all into murder mysteries and things like that, and with the sci-fi mixed it, I checked to make sure I was up-to-date with this one. Each episode gives a new mystery with more details outline our jaded and imprisoned detective’s motives and backstory. I wasn’t sold on the character designs at first, but once you get over that hurdle, it’s all good. I like the psychological aspects of it too!

Kyokou Suiri 

Ever wish you had a female protagonist who was upfront about her romantic motives? Ever wanted to watch a show involving youkai? Here’s the show for you! Plus, her character design is so cute. Mamo sang the ED for this anime too. The animation is great, the story looks amazing (read ahead a few chapters in the manga), and this is one of my most highest anticipated anime for the season!

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

Here’s one of my favourite pilot episodes! This anime left such a strong impression on me that I went straight to my non-otaku friends going, “You’ve gotta see this guys”. The art style is consistent with the manga, and according to the not-so-quiet manga readers, we’re in for a really good anime. 

All the characters in this anime are also adorable and really simple-minded on the surface. Hanako-kun being a boy is a really funny twist on the local urban legend (I’m one of those kids who never dared to say “Bloody Mary” in the washroom so what can I say?)

Recently Completed

Hana to Alice: Satsujin Jiken

Remember Aku no Hana? This is what happens when rotoscoping has a bit more budget. This anime was slow, a little cringy, but it felt really real. The voices felt real, the characters felt real, and the story felt... mostly real. I don’t regret watching this movie art style and all because I think it captures a bit of the exaggerations of being a teenager (rumours blow up like balloons)

Sennen Joyuu

Satoshi Kon really has a certain way of telling stories. I’ve watched Perfect Blue, Paranoia Agent, and Tokyo Godfathers, and while this didn’t have as strong of a punch as the latter, this film was still strong. It shows a story of a young maiden’s resilience, perseverance, and undying love... all things I can’t relate to... but it was good!

Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo

This show was a trip. You thought it was a fanservice anime until things got really heavy. This anime was funny, it made me feel things with the themes it took on, and it made me remember that the best girl doesn’t always have to win to be a good anime. The art was cute and sweet, the voice acting was so fricking funny (according to the cast, the improv wasn’t always included but the ones that were left along with the dialogue were pure gold), and the story was exceptional for an anime which seemed to have no base whatsoever. And plus, this had something a lot of anime don’t... A CONCLUSIVE ENDING. Give this anime a watch if you haven’t. It’s melodramatic comedic romantic teen drama at its finest.

Orange

Speaking of melodramatic romantic teen dramas, here’s another one that fits that bill! Minus the comedy, more suicide, and far less cohesive plot. Imagine throwing letters into the Bermuda Triangle and having your 16-year-old selves really reading those letters. I was wondering how they were going to explain sending their letters to the past, but they should’ve come up with better BS than that. Aside from really bad plot holes, this anime was alright. It was slow... really slow. I finished this whole 13 episodes plus the movie in about 2.5 hours after trimming the slow recaps. 

The art was alright. The story was slow, but near the end (excluding the last episode and the movie) it got really heavy. It hit close to home. I struggled with suicide for years, and I felt what this character felt. Certain lines of that dialogue just hit hard. It was depicted in a way that didn’t feel as romanticized. He wasn’t saved by just one person, his trauma didn’t go away just like that, it took a group of friends and planning to help him realize that there was more to life then just regrets.

Would I recommend this? I mean, it was recommended to me, but I’m not forcing this anime on anyone... not because of the themes but because it was darn boring and cliche 70% of the time.

Still Watching

Darker than Black: Kuro no Keiyakusha

Same things apply as previous entries

Hunter x Hunter (2011)

My brother expected me to finish this a while ago but I put it on the back-burner because the number of episodes seemed daunting. Everything else is good though.

Sousei no Onmyouji

I only watched the first episode.

Boku no Hero Academia Season Four

Same things apply as previous entries. It seems like the Overhaul arc will end in the next episode or two (depending on how much they milk this).

Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu

Groundhog Day but isekai. Seriously, this is a pretty big staple in terms of big isekai. Everyone’s fighting over who’s the best girl meanwhile Subaru is trying his best not to die every five minutes. Seriously, Subaru is a champ and what I’d want out of a Mary Sue isekai protagonist. Get em Subaru. Prove to me you’re not a car.

This will be me for the next few days because it’s getting colder where I am so watch me slip on the ice and die!

[realfuurikuuri]

MissingArm!AU Chapter 4

The Key to My Heart is the Juice From a Blood Red Apple

Prepare for a long chapter, ya'll. TanyaMao angst is long arduous and deliciously painful. This took a minute to get out, especially when I've been so busy, but it was a lot of fun to write. The character drama here is strong, which is a change of pace for me. I enjoy the amount of show vs. tell I included in here. I feel like it really brings out the best in the characters. The song recommendation here is Stolen Dance - Milky Chance. Enjoy the chapter. AU made by @spookylovesboba

WC: 2,536

AO3 Link: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21199634/chapters/50655644

Mao Mao was in the dojo, working to get his fingers under a rock. It was smooth and round; weighed a little over two hundred pounds. It was one of six that he had. When he finally got his fingers underneath the rock he made sure to lift with his arm, instead of his legs. Mao Mao lifted it up and placed it on the pedestal. Three down, three to go. He was lifting the fourth when he heard the door open. Did Bagderclops and Adorabat finally get back? Mao Mao got Badgerclops to agree to be a chaperone. He certainly wasn’t going to let them visit an active volcano without supervision. 

“Badgerclops,” he said in between breaths,” you got groceries, right?” 

“I don’t know. You’re going to have to ask him, Mittens.” 

Mao Mao’s hand slipped. He fell back with the rock weighing down on his chest. “God- Fuck!” He gasped. 

Tanya watched him move the stone. The confident, sly smirk was gone. Replaced by a regretful straight line.

“How’ve you been? Up to anything new,” she asked. 

“Oh, nothing new. Just strength training, Atlas stones,” he said pointing to the rocks. 

Things got terribly quiet. Mao Mao could hear his bonsai trees shaking in the breeze. 

“So, I heard Jǐngtì stopped by,” she said. 

“Uh, yeah he did. D- do you mind if we do this inside...and not sober.” 

“Yeah, sure.”

Mao Mao led Tanya to the kitchen. The change of setting didn't get rid of the awkwardness between them. Mao Mao knew that Tanya would show up eventually. She wasn’t like him. She couldn’t -wouldn’t- be satisfied with doing this over the phone. He’d already prepared and practiced bits and pieces of conversation to make things lighter but found them all fleeting now. Mao Mao stood on the chair and his tippy toes to reach the top shelf. 

“Why hide it up there?” 

“Adorabat is only like six or seven years old.” 

“Did your new boyfriend convince you to try and be a better parent?” 

Mao Mao brushed away the snide remark as best he could. If anyone had the right to say shit like that it was Jǐngtì; his mother a close second. 

“What do you want? We got beer, a bottle of vodka, some wine I don’t remember buying and hard cider.” 

“Cider.” 

“You feeling nostalgic, too?” 

She didn’t say anything. 

They sat across from each other in silence. Tanya had barely touched her glass while Mao Mao was already on his second mug. 

“How’ve you been,” she asked. 

“Fine, I guess. I got sued the other day.” 

“Really?” 

“I won the case, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“What happened to the other guy.” 

“He’s already out of prison. The kingdom’s laws don’t really make sense, to be honest.” 

“So, Jǐngtì was here, right?” 

Fuck.

“Yeah, he was,” he said. 

Fuck. 

“What the hell happened?” 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Mao Mao took a deep breath, searching for a way to explain last week’s events. “He-” 

Mao Mao was interrupted by a knock on the door. That was all good with him. He needed all the time he could get.

“I’ll get it.” 

Mao Mao didn’t know who was at the door. It was just Benny and Penny with an Amazon package Badgerclops ordered. Mao Mao threw the package on to the couch and went back to the kitchen. 

He took one big gulp of cider to finish his third mug. “What was I saying?” 

“You were telling me what Jǐngtì was doing here.” 

“Oh, uh-, he was… trying to get back at me.”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” 

“He… tied up a bunch of sweetipies and kidnapped Badgerclops and Adorabat.”

Tanya took her first sip.

“What did he want?” 

“He-”

There was a knock at the door.

Tanya took a deep breath and rubbed her temples. Mao Mao got up to answer it. It was Badgerclops with Adorabat sitting on his shoulder. Adorabat was fine, although Badgerclops’ fur was singed at the edges

“You will not believe the day I had. Chubbums made the volcano erupt! I almost died! And I’m pretty sure we displaced thousands of woodland creatures. It was quite the day.” 

“I’m certain it was,” Mao Mao said. 

Adorabat held her nose. “Your breath smells like apple juice and hospitals.”

Mao Mao wondered what she meant until he remembered the cider. Was it already on his breath?

“You good?" Badgerclops asked. “You don’t really drink unless-” 

Badgerclops grew quiet when he saw Tanya in the other room. A series of expressions passed on Badgerclops’ face. First was a surprise, then confusion, finally landing on an adult’s smirk. 

“I can just take her into town if you’re… reliving the past.” 

“What? No. That's-” 

“Tanya,” Adorabat exclaimed, interrupting Mao Mao and flying over without hesitation. 

Fantastic. 

* * *

Adorabat quickly struck a conversation with Tanya. Adorabat did have a charm to her. The smile Adorabat put on Tanya’s face was genuine, which was something Mao Mao hadn’t done in years.

She was telling Tanya what happened on the field trip. He would have assumed she was exaggerating things if Badgerclops didn’t have burns to prove it. “-and then we used the areocycle to- hang on! I want to show you a painting I made.” Adorabat zipped away into the other room as quickly as she came.

Tanya watched her go with a distant stare.

An awkward silence filled the air. 

  “She’s a good kid,” she said. 

“Yeah,” Mao Mao said. 

“Mao Mao, I can’t find it.” 

“Don’t worry, I’m coming,” he said, thankful to finally be away from the terrible awkwardness. 

* * * 

Badgerclops and Tanya were left in the kitchen. Tanya tapped her finger against the table still staring off into space, while Badgerclops searched for the burn ointment. Bagderclops didn’t really know what to think of Tanya. All he knew about her was what Mao Mao would tell him until she kidnapped him. He gave glowing reviews of her. He said she was kind, sweet, and attractive. Badgerclops wasn’t sure he agreed with all of that. 

“So, what brings you here,” he asked Tanya. 

“Huh? Oh, I was just… asking Mao Mao about some things.” 

He made note that she didn’t call him mittens. 

“About Jǐngtì, right?” 

She stiffened a little bit. “Yeah. Yeah, I was.” 

“How’d he happen?” 

“What?” 

“You know,” Badgerclops said,” how’d you and Mao Mao split up.”

“He didn’t tell you?” 

“No, he did. It’s just that he’s…” 

“-Overdramatic?” 

“You said it not me, but yeah.” 

Tanya sighed,” we were young when it happened. Not even adults yet, teenagers. We’d already been traveling together for a while, and when he turned 18 we celebrated and got drunk.” 

“Mao Mao drank underage?” 

“I wish. We were at a place where the drinking age was 18, so he decided it was okay. I certainly wasn’t going to let him celebrate his birthday sober. Anyway, we got to drinking… and then to kissing and then… well, you can guess what happened.” 

“I’m surprised two teenagers decided to keep a child.” 

Tanya had started to drink. First, it was just a few sips of cider and now she getting a refill. 

"Teenagers are fucking dumb. We overestimated ourselves. We both had incomes and a stable relationship. So like, what the hell? Why not try and raise a kid?” 

Her story was consistent with the one Mao Mao told him. 

“How was rasing Jǐngtì,” he asked. 

She stiffened, looking out to the distance, stuck in memories. “What are you doing asking me all this? Jealous of your boyfriend's ex and child showing up out of nowhere?” 

Badgerclops first thought was of how rude that comment was, then it changed to boyfriend. 

“Sorry,” she groaned,” I’ve just… had too much to drink.” 

“We’re not dating,” Badgerclops said. 

“Really? You’re not dating?” 

“No, we’re not.” 

“You’re just two dudes living together -raising a child together- five feet apart cause they’re not gay?” 

“Exactly.” 

At least that’s what he thought. It's not that Badgerclops was against the idea. Mao Mao was cute it's just that Mao Mao has never really expressed any interest in it. Not just towards boys, towards romance at all. He assumed Mao Mao was asexual until he started talking about Tanya when he got drunk. He thought it was just drunken bullshit. It was only when Badgerclops mentioned the drunken rambling to a sober Mao Mao did he realize how true it was.

He could recall the day easily. It was before the aerocycle. They were washing up in a river trying to blow off massive hangovers. Badgerclops made an innocent joke -something about the drunken ramblings being a virgin’s fantasy- when Mao Mao suddenly stopped. Despite still standing in the river Mao Mao just stood there for a few minutes, trapped on a trip down memory lane, until he slowly came back to reality. Badgerclops still felt like shit for that. 

“Found it!” Adorabat quickly flew back into the kitchen, carrying a piece of paper. Here! Look!” 

Whatever was on the paper shook Tanya a great bit. The smile stiffened, her eyes got a little wider, her hands began to tremble. “It’s-, it's great,” she choked out. 

Badgerclops placed a hand on Adorabat’s shoulder. “Hey let’s go play some games, okay?” 

“Sure.” 

Badgerclops made sure to turn the volume up, so Adorabat wouldn't overhear anything. He knew that picture. It was a simple drawing of herself, Badgerclops, Mao Mao, and Tanya. They were all holding hands, smiling, a happy little rainbow danced in the background. They were a family. Something Tanya wanted, but couldn’t have. It was incredibly rude to show that to Tanya; one of those things that make you cringe when you look back on it. How old would Adorabat be when she realized how cruel that was?

* * * 

       Tanya watched Mao Mao sit down out of the corner of her eye. He tapped his fingers against the table, searching for someplace to look before settling on his empty mug. Tanya wanted to say something, to ask him everything, but where to begin? Start with their missing son? How their child is slowly going even further off the deep end? Or maybe the new family he started after leaving his old one a broken wreck?

Tanya wanted to say she hated this man. She wanted to say she hated how he whined in that sultry voice, that she hated the myriad of gross scars of his well-toned body, that she hated the adorable way he second-guessed every decision he made, yet here she was happy to just be speaking to him. 

“Why’d you leave?” 

Mao Mao looked up.

“Why’d you leave,” Tanya asked again. 

“I -I -I,” Mao Mao stuttered,” I-... don’t know.” 

“Look, Mittens I-” 

Sssaaaavvve my bacon! I’m really in a jam! 

Everyone turned to the bizarre alarm as it rang out. Tanya sighed and gestured for Mao Mao to go. 

He got up and then sat back down. “Go ahead. I’ll catch up later.” 

Tanya felt a bit of rosy red on her cheeks. Just maybe he learned to put family over that stupid obsession of his. 

Badgerclops considered it for a minute before saying okay and taking Adorabat with him. She could hear the roar of the aerocycle as they left. 

Tanya stared at Mao Mao; he stared back. 

“You should have just gone,” she said. 

“You wanted to ask me something. I’ll answer it and then go. I still have a job to do.” 

The words felt like a sledgehammer to the skull.

Tanya put her face in her hands and laughed. “I wanted to ask what kind of dumb, desperate slut falls for a walking, talking napoleon complex with daddy issues that can’t put family over his stupid fucking obsession?” 

“I don’t know,” he said. 

“What do you know? Do you at least know where our- where my -son is?” 

“I don’t know,” he said again. 

Tanya pointed at the door. “Just go. Just… go,” she said. 

She heard the scape as Mao Mao pushed out his chair, his steps against the hardwood floor, the front door creak as it opened, and the soft click as it closed. 

* * *

The king hid behind his throne while Badgerclops examined the bones. They were littered all over the floor… a pattern? Or was he just seeing things? If it was a pattern, what did it mean?

“Badgerclops,” Adorabat asked. 

“Hm?” 

“What’s with Mao Mao and Tanya?” 

Oof. Why did she have to be such an observant child? 

“It’s...adult things.” 

“What’s adult things?” 

“You’ll understand when you’re older.” 

“But, I wanna understand now.” 

“Well… it’s like Tanya and Mao Mao we’re friends.” 

“I thought they were already friends.” 

“Like… best friends. They used to be best friends-” 

“What about Jǐngtì?” 

“Okay… uh, think of their relationship as a lot like what we have now. Tanya had the same role as me, and Jǐngtì had the same role as you. They were a happy little group.”  

“Then what happened?” 

“Something… just did. Jǐngtì did something, Tanya and Mao Mao got into a fight and they … split apart.” 

Adorabat looked down at the ground. “Does that mean we’ll split apart, too?”

Badgerclops decided to leave the adult conversations to that cat bastard. 

“Why’s Adorabat sad?” 

Badgerclops jumped back with an effeminate shriek. “Holy shit, dude! I am ‘this’ close to putting a bell on your ass.” 

Mao Mao didn’t even bother to tell Badgerclops to watch his language. He kept his head down preventing Badgerclops from seeing his face. Not that he needed too. The slumped shoulders, low voice, haggard movements told Badgerclops that Mao Mao was miserably drunk and miserably sad. 

“You feeling alright,” Badgerclops asked. 

“I’m fine,” Mao Mao said, kicking the bones. “These aren’t the King’s I hope.” 

“Nah, they’re just bones. I’m thinking they might be a pattern or something.” 

Mao Mao thought for a second before running up a pillar to the mezzanine. He rarely climbed, having one arm made it hard. Mao Mao began to slowly scan his eyes, his lips moving quietly while he did it. Was he reading something? 

“Hey, whatcha see up there?” 

Mao Mao didn’t answer. Badgerclops watched Mao Mao's expression change. He became tense and rigid, teeth ground against each other, his brow furrowed, eyes scowled, and veins popped on his forehead. He was practically foaming at the mouth. He ignored Badgerclops completely, leaping out the window full of piss and vinegar. 

“Um, is he okay,” the king asked from the peanut gallery. 

Not once in that man’s entire life has he ever been okay. Badgerclops didn’t say that. "Don’t worry. Things should be fine,” he lied. 

Badgerclops turned his hand into a helicopter to get to the mezzanine. Adorabat flying up to land on his shoulder soon after. He turned his attention to the bones. Up here they spelled something out. “Beware the monster - Bao Bao”. 

“Adorabat go get Tanya,” he said. 

“Wha-” 

“Go get Tanya,” he repeated more forcefully. 

Adorabat finally got the message. She flew out the window, towards home. Badgerclops turned his attention to the kingdom. He needed to find Mao Mao before he ended up killing someone.

[boydgearloose]

(for some reason when i answered the ask, it wouldn’t let me put it under a read more and this drabble is a bit on the longer side so hopefully this is okay. my apologies!)

The first night Della spent on earth in ten years, she cut her hair. Beforehand, it was something she did quite often. Her hair had been rather short when she’d first crash-landed her rocket, not the shortest she’d ever had it but definitely much shorter than it had become. But unfortunately for her, the duck’s hair had become quite lengthy during the duration of her unexpected departure from earth, and the moon didn’t exactly provide supplies for her to cut it like she wanted. That and she found herself more focused on survival than a haircut.

She’d gotten used to it, but that didn’t mean she really liked having it that long. Della had been eager to cut it as soon as she was able to, and there was nothing more relieving than taking the scissors to her lengthy white hair and hearing them do their job with a satisfied snip. She stared down at the mess of hair it left on Scrooge’s bathroom floor, laughing at a sudden flashback that popped into her head of her uncle getting angry with her for leaving it there many a time in her teenage years. Luckily, she’d learned better by now and began to dispose of it with a broom and pan.

After she cleaned up, Della looked in the mirror to see her new hairstyle. It was about shoulder-length, not as short as it was when she’d crashed but much shorter than it had become. Maybe one day she’d cut more of it off, but this would do for now. As she looked at her reflection, a certain moment from her time stuck on the moon played in the back of her head.

“Your hair keeps falling into your eyes, do you know that? Here, lemme just—”

“Penny, I’m fine!”

Della laughed and playfully pushed her roommate away, blowing the strand in question out of her face so she could give her a smile.

“But it’s annoying me!” Penumbra crossed her arms. “Why don’t you ever tie it back or wear a helmet or I don’t know, do something with it so it won’t get in the way of your work?”

“I’ve learned to work around it,” Della said with a shrug.

“How can you work around hair that long falling in your face all the time?”

“I dunno. I just do. I’ve had hair like this for nearly a decade.” Della shook her head, showing off her long locks. “I will admit that it’s not my favorite, but I’ve adjusted.”

She continued to weld together the gold she was using to remake her ship, and Penumbra stood behind her and watched her for a while before rolling her eyes. “I don’t see how you can stand it.”

“Of course not,” Della giggled. “You don’t even have hair.”

Penumbra gasped, sounding offended. “I do too!”

The duck’s eyes lit up, and she whipped around to Penumbra once more. “You do!?” she exclaimed, hopping over to her roommate. “You gotta show me!”

Della reached a hand up toward Penumbra’s helmet, intending to rip it off, but she was stopped by the moonlander’s strong grip clasping around her arm and her angry stare fixating on her.

“You are not to touch my helmet. Understand?”

“Okay, okay! I won’t, sorry!” She flashed Penumbra a cheeky grin as she recoiled her hand backwards and away from her grip.

Della moved her head from side to side, watching her hair follow its movement. She did it a few more times before turning her attention toward the bathroom window, where the moon could be seen. It looked so small on earth compared to its actual vastness, for Della had been taken off-guard by how large it actually was once she had the chance to explore it. There were a lot of things about the moon that had taken her off-guard, come to think of it. However, the society of aliens who had welcomed her into their hidden home and helped her get back to her family was the most surprising and perhaps the only thing she missed. Especially one in particular.

She turned her attention back to her reflection, looking over her new haircut, paying close attention to how it kept her hair from falling in her face. Della began to wonder what Penumbra would think of it once she got to earth. Or at least she assumed Penumbra would visit. She had to miss Della as much as she missed her, right? Although she was unsure if it was because it had been a while since she’d had someone to form a genuine bond with, Della still considered Penumbra to be one of her best friends. There was no doubt she’d be itching to see what the earth-dweller’s mysterious planet had to offer.

And Della looked forward to the day she would be able to show it all off to her.

Once she’d properly settled in, it didn’t take long for Della to get back to adventuring. Other than her family, it was the thing she missed most about earth. She’d been quick to snatch the Cloudslayer back from that other pilot Scrooge hired during her absence whose existence in the mansion she was still confused about. Della was all about dangerous, but his style of flying seemed outright reckless. The guy couldn’t even fly a paper airplane! And what kind of name was Sunchaser?

Complaints aside, Della was glad to share her first adventure on earth in a decade with one of her boys. Out of all of them, Dewey had been the first to warm up to her. She wasn’t about to play favorites with the kids she’d spent so long desperate to know, but he instantly accepted him into his life, and she was thankful for that. While she understood that her children needed time to adjust to having a mom just as she needed it to adjust to being one, Dewey’s eagerness helped her feel more at ease about the whole parenting thing.

However, the “adventure” they accompanied Scrooge on soon turned out to be nothing but boring matters of business. Della and Dewey found themselves waiting idly in a room full of future investors and one of Scrooge’s rather obnoxious rivals as he went on about the doomsday vault they’d been enlisted to protect or something like that. She wasn’t really paying attention until the mention of a tree made of money was brought up, and when she turned to her right, Della noticed her son wearing the same courageous look as her. It wasn’t long before the two of them had snuck out, boarded the Cloudslayer and started the route to the vault without anyone in the room, including her uncle, noticing their disappearance.

As they were traveling in the air, Della found the silence that surrounded them to be bothersome. She leaned back in her seat, still focused on the sky ahead of her and asked Dewey if they had anything to pop into the CD player. When he explained to her that the only thing he had was his old Powerline album, Della nearly crashed her plane in the best kind of shock possible. Her son knew who Powerline was!? She’d never been a prouder mother!

Her and Dewey spent the duration of the flight singing out loud to every classic song, ones that Della still knew by heart and was glad to see her son did as well. However, in the midst of the jam session, one of the songs brought her back to the last time she’d sung it aloud.

“If we listen to each other’s hearts, we’ll find we’re never too far apart, and maybe love is a reason why, for the first time ever we’re seein’ it eye to- oof!”

Della’s singing was cut off abruptly as she bumped into something that she soon found out was someone. She angled her stare upward to find herself locking eyes with her roommate. A nervous smile slipped across Della’s bill.

“Sorry, Penny. I wasn’t watching where I was going-”

“Who are you talking to!?”she demanded, leaning in closer to Della to confront her.

The duck backed away, holding her hands up protectively. “Whoa, whoa! I wasn’t talking to anyone!”

“Yes you were. Words were leaving your mouth. Tell me who you are communicating with, earther, or I will inform General Lunaris of your suspicious behavior!”

Della thought for a moment until she realized what Penumbra was talking about. “Oh, you mean my singing?”

The moonlander narrowed her eyes. “Your…what?”

“Singing? You know, like I did with the moon mite?”

“You mean that wasn’t a malicious chant to get the creature to bend to your will?”

A hearty laugh left the duck’s throat, and she patted Penumbra’s back. “Good one, Penny! No, no, that was just a song.”

“I see.” Penumbra wiped her back where Della had touched it. “What “song” was it then?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t know. Just something by Powerline.”

The moonlander tensed up and grabbed for her spear. “Is that your leader’s name?”

“What? No!” Della leaned against the wall of their shared living space. “Powerline’s just some guy on earth who writes songs. Really good songs!” She sighed happily. “One day, Uncle Scrooge took me and Donald to see one of his concerts for our birthday. It was amazing! I’d never seen so many lasers in one place! Oh and Donald looked directly into one, and we thought it blinded him for a few seconds, but he was fine.”

As Della lost herself in the happy childhood memory, Penumbra stared at her with an expression showing both disgust and curiosity. Finally, she crossed her arms and stuck her face in the air.

“I have no idea what any of that means.”

Ever since then, Della knew that she’d have to get Penumbra to listen to a Powerline song as soon as she came to earth. She’d love it! What kind of monster didn’t like Powerline? It was only one of the many things she was excited to show to her old roommate as soon as she saw her again, which Della could only hope would be soon.

She didn’t want to wholy admit to how often she would find herself staring at the sky, wondering when she’d see a gold flash falling to earth. Della made sure to tell all of her family members about the moonlanders and how kind they’d been to her. She even mentioned Penumbra separately a few times. According to Uncle Scrooge, she talked about her more than she did Lunaris and the others. Della wanted to argue against that, but he was probably right.

“You okay, mom?”

The voice of her son startled Della, and she briefly turned to face him. “Yeah! I just zoned out for a second, that’s all.”

Dewey’s concerned expression shifted into something more mischievous. “Good because I thought you forgot the lyrics.”

“Me? Forget the lyrics to a Powerline song? Ha!” Della focused back on the road, wearing a confident smile. “You’ve got a lot to learn about your mom if you think she’d ever do that.”

When Huey first invited Della to the lab, she’d wanted to decline and demand he not go anywhere near that place ever again. If there was one person in Duckburg she was not fond of, it was Gyro Gearloose, and to think that her own flesh and blood had been learning from him was horrifying. However, she soon learned that Gyro wasn’t the scientist her boy admired most.

Huey had been excited for his mom to meet his friend Fenton, an intern of Gyro’s who had found himself employed full-time at the bin. Della laughed at the thought of Gyro having an intern and made sure to tell the guy how much she pitied him, but he was quite different than the man he worked with. While Gyro was smarmy and ill-tempered and said things that made Della want to ring his neck, Fenton was a lot more outgoing and kept the obnoxious scientific jargon to a minimum. And whenever he did use big words, it was for purposes other than to get a rise out of Della.

Urged on by an excited Huey, Fenton was quick to show her everything he was working on. These inventions ranged from some paddle ball thing he said was a work in progress, a green liquid that would melt through absolutely anything and Della’s personal favorite, a spray-on substance that made anything taste like glazed donuts. Eager to test this one out, she made a mad dash for the vending machine and came back with a bag of plain potato chips. Before he could stop her, Della had snatched the can from Fenton and ripped open the bag, spraying a heavy dose inside and all over the chips. Not one to care about possible side effects, she dug in and soon discovered that the invention worked very well.

Giving a satisfied sigh, Della held out the chips to Fenton and Huey. The two looked at each other and shrugged, reaching in and grabbing a few of the glazed donut potato chips. As the three of them rather quickly finished off the bag of chips, she sighed in realization.

“The next time I need gum to last me ten years on the moon, I’m gonna go to you instead of Gyro,” Della told Fenton.

The inventor was quick to gasp in horror. “You aren’t talking about Oxy-chew, are you?”

Della laughed. “Sure am!”

“Oh my goodness,” Fenton said with a gulp, “you weren’t wrong about Gyro wanting to kill you.”

His response was both enough to get another genuine laugh out of Della and to trigger yet another memory from her time on the moon.

“Why are you always smacking?”

“Huh?” Della lifted up her welding mask and looked to Penumbra.

“You’re always moving your mouth up and down like you’re chewing on something.” The moonlander shuddered. “It’s disgusting.”

“Ohhhh.” Rolling her eyes, Della turned around and leaned against the cabinet she’d been working at. “You see, I need this stuff called oxygen to breathe. Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe you haven’t. I also need sustenance which is a fancy word for food and water. Well, those things don’t exist on the moon. In order for me to get that out here, a person from back home who I wouldn’t be caught dead calling my friend made a special kind of gum that gives you all of that! Sounds great, right?”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Right! But it’s not. He made it black licorice flavored, and it is the worst.” The duck grumbled in frustration. “I can hardly stand it.”

Della turned back to her work, not knowing what thoughts were forming in Penumbra’s mind until she spoke.

“So that…goom-”

“Gum.” “I knew that. That stuff’s really hard to handle, huh?”

“Oh, definitely. I’ve grown a little accustomed to it, but it’s still quite the challenge.”

There was a beat of silence. Then, Penumbra burst to life.

“You can’t play this game with me and win, earther! You think I can’t handle your “gum,” don’t you? You think I’m weak!”

Della frowned. “No, I really don’t.”

“Ugh, you’re such a liar! Okay,” Penumbra took a deep breath before holding out her hand, “give me some, and I’ll prove to you that I can do it.”

The duck shifted uncomfortably, giving a nervous laugh. “Are you sure? I’m all for showing you and the others earth food, but I do not think black licorice is where you want to start.”

“Your opinion means nothing to me!”

Although she was unsure if she wanted to go through with this or not, Della was quite certain that Penumbra wasn’t taking no for an answer. She reached into the drawer on the side of the cabinet she was working at and pulled out the box of Oxy-chew. Then, she retrieved a black stick from it and handed it to Penumbra, wincing at what she knew was to come.

At first, the moonlander studied the stick of gum in various ways. She sniffed it, held it up close to her face, ran her fingers along its surface and finally, popped it into her mouth as if she was taking bitter cough syrup. For a while, she idly chewed, trying to get the feel of what gum was like. Then, rather suddenly, she screamed in agony and spit the substance onto the floor, immediately reaching for the pistol on her holster while coughing and gagging violently. Della was quick to jump into action, rushing to console her.

“Penny!” she gasped, trying to reach a hand out to the moonlander but finding it slapped back in her face.

“You…you…you tried to POISON me!” Penumbra snapped, pointing her pistol at Della with fear and anger in her eyes. “I knew you were up to no good!’

Della sighed and tried to avert the weapon away from her, knowing she should have expected this reaction. “I tried to tell you, it’s really bad!”

“Tell it to General Lunaris!”

Penumbra gave chase as Della found herself frantically hopping out the door, rushing away with the other hot on her trail in an attempt to avenge her taste-buds.

Della looked back down at the bag of chips in her hand. She’d have to get Penumbra to try some of them when she got to earth. Maybe it would make up for the time she made her eat something so vile that she literally thought she was on her deathbed. It also inspired a delayed response to Fenton.

“Y’know, shocking as it may sound, I think my friend actually hated it more than I do.”

Binventory day was the worst. Counting each and every cent made by the richest duck in the world was just about as boring as it sounded, which was really, really, really boring. Luckily, it wasn’t just Della doing it this time. After he’d taken an interest in running a business of his own, Scrooge had taken her son Louie under his wing and expected him to always help with such tasks.

As the three of them sat around sorting out the various coins in the money bin, Della found herself starting to lose count through boredom. Letting out a low groan of frustration, she lay on her back and rubbed at her temples. Scrooge noticed this and walked over to her, gently prodding his niece with his cane.

“Get up, lass. Can’t have either of you slacking off or the whole thing will take all day.”

“But it’s already taken all day,” Della whined. “Plus, I’m tired. My brain still hasn’t adjusted to a normal sleep schedule.”

“You’ve been home for nearly a month.” She shrugged, and Scrooge shook his head in frustration. “I can’t believe Louie is doing a better job than you.”

Almost as soon as he spoke, the smaller duck plopped down next to his mom with a relaxed sigh. Scrooge looked ready to pull his feathers out.

“Not you too!”

“Hey, mom’s doin’ it,” the duckling countered back.

“Now you’ve gone and set a bad example for your children!”

“Hey, if my kids are tired, let them sleep,” Della waved him off, yawning. “Especially if I’m about to crash myself.”

“I’ve had it with you two slacking off! Get up, both of you!” Scrooge scolded them. “I won’t let either of you rest until you’ve counted every quarter, nickel, dime and penny in the-”

“Penny?” Della, who had been half-asleep by then, suddenly jolted upward at the mention, having spent so long associating the name with something else that she forgot it was a coin.

“I still can’t believe you have all this gold just sitting here on the moon,” Della said in awe. She was taking a break from working on her ship while Penumbra sat in on her bed sharpening her spear, forced to listen to her roommate’s rambling.

“I can,” she replied, not looking up from what she was busy with.

“That’s because you don’t know how much this stuff goes for back on earth.” Della kicked back in the chair she was sitting in, resting her feet on the table. “If it weren’t for gold, my uncle wouldn’t be the richest duck in the world!” She faked Scrooge’s accent as she announced the title, humoring herself. It didn’t get even a smile out of Penumbra.

“So it’s a type of currency for you?” she asked.

“In a way, I guess. It’s not common though.” Della shrugged. “Paper money and regular coins are. We’ve got dollars and nickels and dimes and pennies and quarters and that’s just the basic-”

“What?” The duck stopped and looked over to Penumbra, who she was surprised to see actually paying attention. They stared at each other for a moment until the moonlander became frustrated. “What do you want?”

“Huh?”

“I thought you were calling for me.”

Della cocked her head to the side. “I wasn’t- ohhhh, it’s because I said pennies!” She chuckled. “That wasn’t about you. On earth, a penny is also a type of currency.”

“I see.” Penumbra hummed, turning her attention back to her spear. “I bet it’s worth a lot.”

Della sucked in a breath of air. She opened her bill to explain to the moonlander that pennies were quite possibly the most worthless currency in the entire world, but then she remembered how Penumbra chased her throughout the entire village just a few days ago after the Oxy-chew incident and decided to stretch the truth.

“Yep!” she said with a nod. “They sure are valuable!”

“Della!”

Scrooge’s voice shocked Della out of her daydreaming state. She shook her head and looked around, meeting eyes with the rather concerned faces of her uncle and son.

“Heh…” Della cleared her throat, sitting up. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” She got to her feet and stretched, clapping her hands together. “Guess we should get to sorting again. I feel rested up already!”

The confusion melted away from Scrooge’s face and was replaced with adoration. “That’s my girl,” he commended her, then turned to Louie. “That means you too.”

“Awwwww, mom!”

Della giggled and gave her son an affectionate pat on the head. Then, they got back to work, and she realized that binventory went by a little quicker when there was something else on her mind.

Something that would hopefully be there for her within a matter of days.