#he jusg got stuck

[dragon-flies-72]

Soo more taom thoughts

Do any of you think OC is actually dead??? Like is ripping a page out of the book equivalent to killing a character or is OC still alive because I think OC is still alive like the ending would be discovering that infact OC has been alive all along. What if Pip pinned them up somewhere??

Anyways just a random thought cause the series doesn't feel like the type to murder a character fully yknow like OCs probably just chilling somewhere lost af but still alive.

[belphiesgirlfriend]

Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

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more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

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Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

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Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

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Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks

• also vocaloid

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

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Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

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Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

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Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

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Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

[humblenolifer]

i am grateful for all of the relationships i have made in my life, Im especially grateful for the relationsohhips ive been blessed with, the ones that stay strong after many years and the ones that break but come back stronger. I am grateful to have people in my life that have seen me at my worst but still see me no different.

this full moon/month, ive struggled a lot with my relatonship with my current bf. this whole month i felt stuck in my head or in another world. i lost sense of what was real and what my head was telling me. Ive learned to judge actions and not potential. Ive learned to jusge andy based on what he does, not what he tells me or fails to tell me.

because of this, i am grateful that he has stuck by my side all these years, even after seeing at my worst state of controlling my emotions. He’s seen it so many times but is still with me. i am grateful that he loves my little cousins like family.

i am gateful that andy tries to do things that i tell him to do even if he doesnt understand it. i am grateful that andy supports me in any of my choices. i am grateful to be loved by another person. I am grateful to be loved by andy.

i am grateful for all these things, yes. but that doesn’t change the things he does.

he kept his gambling from me for 1 year. i felt like he was keeping stuff from me and when i confronted him about it, he got mad and lied to my face, multiple times. he doesnt drop his guard for me. i dont see his vulnerable side a lot. he doesnt have clear priorities. he dropped out of college and is now gambling for a career. i get that this could be a break year for him to figure things out but then at least make time to hang out with me... we havent been on a real date in months. just boring dinners at the places we always go to. he doesn’t put in effort to take me to nice places any more. he doesnt spend quality time with me anymore. hugging him doesnt feel like home anymore.

im not sure who he is anymore. but that could be because im not sure who i am anymore either. its not that i dont know myself, its just that i havent thought abiout myself or my likes, interest and personality in a long time. i need to get to know myself again. re introduce. i should be friends with myself but i cant be friends and trust someone that i don’t know.

[sarinataylor]

So this Music And Lyrics AU, I’m seeing washed up John from his Gone To Bali years and sunny moppet Roger as the plant-watering lyricist who bounces into his life, but I can also see Roger as the pop idol who has gone slightly to seed encountering the blend of innocent sweetness and zinger put-downs that is John

oh oh oh roger is defs the pop star gone to seed??? in my og version of this au but now im like hmmmmm. but ok so like

roger was part of a band with.... lets say brian and tim (bc well we need a bad guy, and poor tim is the fall guy). time fucks off with the music that brian and roger had written together and makes it big as a solo artist.

brian well. he’s pissed? but also, kinda wants to get his PhD, ya know? it was fun while it lasted, but. it’s not worth bankrupting themselves trying to prove their case, and the bands clearly over now anyway?

and roger, well. all roger ever wanted to be was a musician, right? and tim and brian have fucked off (and depending on the day he either respects brian’s decision or feels betrayed by it) so he’s.... stuck

and he puts out a solo album but it doesnt do well, and everyone’s comparing him to tim and he just. sort of gets in a rut. the music starts to run out and he’s fucking not gonna be the old time wonder working at fucking Sainsbury’s, okay? he’s not. this is not a pauper to popstar to pauper story, no way, no how. 

so he starts.... picking up gigs where he plays their old songs. it’s. it’s not great? but! he gets to play his music, he gets to sing, and he fucks around with his own music back at home but he learned his lesson. he’s not putting out any solo stuff any time soon. it’s fine. 

(freddie is his best mate who is, ya know, also a successful musician? he has a brilliant solo career and he’s constantly trying to convince roger to collab with him, or even just come on tour and drum for him? something????? but roger’s got it into his head that that’s not meant for him, that he fucked up his chance. he’s comfortable where he is even if he’s a little bit miserable.)

ANYWAY john comes to water his fucking plants

and john is, it should be noted, terrible with plants? like he does NOT have a green thumb at all, but a friend of a friend needed a favour for a week or so and

so when he walks in he immediately knows who roger is? cause like. his little sister julie? had SUCH a thing for him when they were teenagers. like, cried when the band broke up. was potentially one of the only people who bought his solo album, and definitely the only person who gave it a 5 star review. and johns like...... oh look at this sad sack of shit. 

which like. roger is. 

and freddie is over too with this lyricist they’ve rumbled up to work with roger for this pop sensations requested song and the lyrics this guy is coming up with are just.... they’re so bad? and freddie is taking a nap on the sofa because it’s so awful, roger looks about three seconds from strangling the guy

and john doesnt even mean to? he’s honestly jut talking to himself really but he comes up with a few lyrics and next thing he knows roger is inviting him to “a small performance tonight” (freddie rolls his eyes so violently he almost falls off of the sofa) and begging him to think about being his lyricist and

john makes the mistake of mentioning it to julie. then makes the mistake of agreeing to take her and. god it’s.... it’s sad okay? like roger is? 35? and doing high school reuinions? it’s just fucking sad.

and what makes it worse is that roger seems to know? like roger isn’t so much as in on the joke as he is.... resigned to it. makes the jokes before anyone else has the chance to. 

freddie finds john to the side of the audience and is like....... pls be his lyricist because i dont have the time and, fucking hell, this might be his last chance to escape the clutches of bingo nights and high school reunions. he almost did a bar mitzvah last month.

and john really cant say no to that

and roger’s fun! like john is surprised to find that misery doesnt come easy to him? like he has his self pitying moments, is certainly the first to say something disparaging about himself and his abilities, but! he’s fun??? his music is good! he had stacks of cd’s just wracked up and when john asks about them roger just shrugs and says, oh you know, just songs i’ve played around with over the past few years

he’s fun and he genuinely believes that john’s a good lyricist. he makes contributions, he’s honest. he writes music like it comes to him as easy as breathing and ok

johns not proud but he sorta has a crush on the guy he thought, like three days ago, was a washed up sad sack of shit

look ok! he didn’t know him! he was jusging the book by its cover! it’s a pretty dingy cover. it’s all marked up and the corners are bent, and like yeah it’s pretty but it’s pretty in that way that’s like three vodka soda’s from crying about how sad it is, deep down. 

(he tells this to roger, one day, once the song is released and they’re a collab team and, y’know..... just a team.    roger is so offended. he’s never even had a vodka soda in his life. give him like one and a half gin and tonics, however)

anyway they work together and get closer (john shares his own Dark Backstory: basically the same as in the movie, he got taken advantage of by a professor at his university who then went on to write a book about it.) and then.......... roger’s a dick

they run into the professor and roger is. he’s projecting. he’s projecting his own issues onto john. like roger needs to confront tim (and not so much confront, but clear the air with brian) but he cant and the root of john’s own issues is standing right in front of them and so he.... basically forced john to confront him

and it goes badly

it goes really badly

and so john is embarrassed and angry at roger for making him do that, and roger is frustrated because it wasn’t meant to go like that (in all his fantasies, he and brian are friends again at the end of it and tim is humiliated in the corner and.... that’s how it was supposed to go for john). and so they both start saying things they.... both mean and dont mean (because the worst things you can ever say to someone are the things just rooted enough in truth to hit home and scrape at their insecurities, but exaggerated enough that you create little pinpricks of paranoia that actually those little truths aren’t so little at all.)

and, well. 

john shows up to see their song performed and

roger sings a song for him

and song that roger wrote

which is a huge, big deal. because it’s not a joke. roger isn’t making a joke with this song, he’s not laughing at it before anyone else can. he’s singing it for john and he means it. and that’s

:)

[benjammintaylor]

What the fuck

no one cares. no one cares how you feel. it’s all excuses. or that you’re being dramatic. or you’re lazy. it doesn’t matter anymore. literally i dont want to see another day. all I want is to be loved for. cared for. but most importantly of all to obtain those feelings, understood. it’s not fun and games. it’s actually hitting me. Im stuck in a loop. And I feel like im in hell. Screaming silently out for God to help. I feel I’m going to lose a lot of relationships and even one that matters everything to me if I continue feeling this way. He’s the only reason I see a to live for and for a first, I feel that on such a level that even the stars mapping the sky, the breath I take in the morning waking up, the sun scorching this planet, feels different with a simple text or memory of him. I actually stop for just a second. And remember.

I feel lost. Empty. Alone. And I find myself missing everything when it’s right in front of me. Fuck what is the point. I’ve had my eternity and I wamt to let go. Part of me doesn’t even want to get help. I’d rather just have this beauty rot and anticipate the cold, wilting roses tapping on my new home 6 feet under. I never feel good and when I do, the world around me is in chaos and I can never enjoy it. Everything isn’t real. I’m not feeling happiness when I’m not with him. And lately it’s been a lot of time away from him. Id never believe in a million years, finding myself so invested on a person.

I’m at a stage currently where I need him the most. But he ironically sees it as me being dramatic or lazy or excuse making. But that’s not it. Yes, that all may be true, but only said being that they are only manifestations of a bigger problem.

Jusg die already. Easier said than done. You’re gonna wake up and force yourself to forget. It’s all good. You got this. Keep repeating that and maybe it’ll turn into a relaity. What the fuck.