#he is the the other half o this queer ship

[ceoandslutler]

not to always complain about antis but why do they read/watch kuro if they hate sebastian this much

he's the mc how do u have beef w him so bad, interpret him however u want but if you genuinely dislike him... why put yourself thru the torture of reading his story (and this is about him, no way to argue against that)

like are you just gonna ignore all his development with the other servants... he is the epitome of an allegorical queer coded outcasted non human character who finds kinship in other odd (queer) people. how are you ignoring that lol

you can interpret main characters as morally grey or evil (a lot of times they are) but atp it feels like antis hate him and ignore any changes or developments in his personality, at least acknowledge him as part of the 'phantomfam' he helped to create. there would be no phantomfam w/o sebastian because there would be no o!ciel and phantomhive manor w/o sebastian,,, hell, there'd be no kuroshitsuji w/o sebastian. actually fun fact it's called 黒執事 kuroshitsuji (black butler) not 貴族子 kizokuko (noble kid).

they hate him until they sexualise him into the molds they want, usually within the ships they like [nothing wrong with those ships per se but they're viewed as 'correct' while the most canonical ship is wrong(?)] or they only love him after they take away all his sexual characteristics and turn him into a cat loving spinster, a dad/mom figure with no other characteristics other than (1) love cat, (2) dad/mombastian, (3) cooking and cleaning, nothing else but that ruins him because he's not that flat of a character in the original work... from what we've seen he likes a lot of things, he enjoys playing this butler game with ciel, he likes being mean and flirty, he likes being around certain humans like agni who he genuinely seemed to respect despite being a demon, he likes the concept of death and finds it beautiful, he has an eye for fashion and a lot more.

the way they treat him is akin to how society treated women in the victorian era... either the angel of the house (maternal figure, or in his case, paternal but they do momify him a lot, no sexualised identity or made limited and very 'pure'/'demure') or the hated demonised prostitute (evil evil demon taking advantage of little boy, no parental feelings and no feelings AT ALL, worthless). it's laughable how half of the fandom have such an innate dislike of sebs that they want to deny the changes within him or in the best case scenario, they'd minimise it. not to mention how they want ciel to be the perfect little sex-repulsed victim but other people have made posts about that before. my focus is on sebastian who is so grossly mischaracterised by antis, they are either purposely misunderstanding him or just very obtuse.

you guys have two interpretations of him and both are either dead wrong or at best extremely misinformed lol

[duckprintspress]

Meet Some of Duck Prints Press’s Transgender Authors!

Today, March 31st 2024, is Transgender Day of Visibility! We’re celebrating by shining the spotlight on 11 trans authors who’ve published with us, and three more who are contributing to projects that are in the pipeline. Duck Prints Press works with many trans creators, but we never disclose such information without explicit permission – there are way more than 11 trans folks working with us, but the people highlighted in this post all opted in to be included: they’re here, they’re trans, and they’re happy for y’all to know that about them!

Most of these authors have published more than one work with Duck Prints Press; we’re mostly highlighting one story each for this post, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more to read!

Aether Beyond the Binary is our most recent anthology (Kickstarted in January, expected to go up for sale in late spring or early summer). About half the contributors are transgender or genderqueer, including four who volunteered to be included in this post!

S. J. Ralston, who contributed the story Razzmatazz, about a dystopian Hollywood where robots of long-dead stars are forced to make movies, and about the non-binary mechanic who services them.

Kelas Lloyd, who contributed the story True, about a non-binary teen going to a remedial camp to help them learn to channel aether.

Catherine E. Green, who contributed the story To Hold the World Close, about an established non-binary couple working together to try to take down a corporation that’s trying to control access to the world-wide aether network.

Zel Howland, who contributed the story Flower and Rot, about a world where channeling aether causes human bodies to sprout plants, and about the people who sprout fungi instead.

Meet the other contributors, too!

All of our anthologies have had trans contributors; highlighted here also is And Seek (Not) to Alter Me: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing,” contributed to by Adrian Harley (a character study of modern-day Benedick’s coming out as a trans man) and Nickel J. Keep (a wlw historical story about the characters returning home after serving in World War 2).

You can read about all the contributors to Aether Beyond the Binary here.

And other works by our trans authors…

Of Loops and Weaves by Catherine E. Green: a trans woman works on a knit for her crush.

Sarisa by N. C. Farrell: a bigender he/she mecha mechanic navigates the challenges of a new pilot arriving on the ship. (N. C. Farrell also contributed to our anthology She Wears the Midnight Crown.)

Whispers of Atlantis: A Tale of Discovery and Belonging by Neo Scarlett: a family subjected to bullying because of their mixed elvish/human heritage seek a new places to live.

Chrysopoeia by Zel Howland: what happens when a witch is trapped with her personal demon…

Many Drops Make a Stream by Adrian Harley: one of only four novels Duck Prints Press has released so far, Many Drops Make a Stream introduces the shapeshifter Droplet as she and carpenter Azera search for Azera’s kidnapped friend.

A Shield for the People by Puck Malamud: a trans Jewish man uses his powers to protect the common people from the creatures of the night. (Puck Malamud also contributed to our anthology Add Magic to Taste.)

This Treatment for Chronic Pain has an Unbelievable Side Effect! by Xianyu Zhou: a man gets more than he bargained for when he participates in an experimental treatment plan for his chronic pain… (spicy!) (Xianyu Zhou also contributed to our anthology Aim For The Heart: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Alexandre Dumas’s “The Three Musketeers.”)

LA Photographs Itself by YF Ollwell: a steamy erotica story set in 1970s LA, about an encounter between a photographer and a trans actor.

And we’ve got upcoming projects featuring even more trans authors!

Our next anthology, Many Hands: An Anthology of Polyamorous Erotica is slated to Kickstart in April or May and includes several trans authors, including YF Ollwell, Cedar McCafferty-Svec, and Alex Bauer! Cedar also has a story coming to the Duck Prints Press Patreon this coming week. Meet all the contributors to Many Hands.

The third installment in our Queer Fanworks Inspired By… series, A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” also includes creators who chose to participate in this post: May Barros, who is an artist, and Xianyu Zhou!

So come check out Duck Prints Press, an indie press that works with fancreators to publish their original works, and support some awesome trans creators this Transgender Day of Visibility!

[nights-at-crystarium]

January 9 is Vivi’s birthday \;w;/ The date’s cheeky, it’s when I reached ShB on him ingame. A year ago. JUST A YEAR. No other oc of mine had such an intense development process. I wanted to try writing a disaster, and, well....

Lemme have today as an excuse to ramble about his influences. Of course I didn’t merely lump these together, I kept realizing the likeness as time went on.

The concentration of unhinged blondies and literal idols is past the critical level, take cover, it’s gonna blow.

Spoiler warning for everything.

Anarchy Panty

Because his full name’s Vivien Fucksalot Rell x’D A good number of their tropes match perfectly.

This speech could as well be copypasted into his final battle with Emet:

Panty: You're right, I'm just a little bitch and I'm proud of it. But guess what, douchebag? That's not the point. News flash, I don't need special fucking powers to beat the shit out of you. You know why? Because I'm a bitch who doesn't give a fuck. You and your half-dead face can preach about hymens and demons and other weird words that supposedly mean shit, but that doesn't change the fact that if any of you fuckers get in my way, I'm gonna kick some twisted-ass ass. You hear me dick? I'm a hot bitch angel named Panty. And no matter what anyone says, I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT!

Princess Ai

An edgy fashion icon that I'm still in love with. Brainstorming the visual styles for Vivi, I simply decided to indulge as hard as I can.

Howl

Howl gets his redemption arc, Vivi, uh.... Surprise, the entire ShB part of Fragments is his redemption arc of sorts. But he exists outside ShB as well. He’s not meant to be a goody two shoes. But hey, his drama queen moments are entertaining to watch.

Raha has a lot of Howl in his character too. With Vivi, he’s basically this, except he doesn’t swallow him.. Okay he does but in a different way *kicked*

Arataka Reigen

Because I’m physically incapable of writing a classic hero.

Vivi has a complicated relationship with his career and a pragmatic approach to most things in life. He also prefers words to violence, will fight only if that fails.

When confidence and persuasion carry so hard you don’t really need anything else. Vivi firmly believes in everything he says and does. He doesn’t derive any fucked up joy from being right, but he knows as a fact that he IS right.

Sakuma Ryuichi

Duality my beloved \o/ And dorkiness. Other than that, Ryuichi doesn’t have as much influence on his character, but the visuals?

I mean I literally use this shirt and necklace as an easter egg/homage. Gravitation triggered my queer awakening in the faraway 2006, might as well give it the acknowledgement it deserves.

And, lastly, the he.

What else do you expect from a character tailored for a ship \o/

Short. Sassy. Dorky. Gremlin. All of their direct likeness stems from ARR, while the more subtle parallels and extreme opposite values form later.

If Raha’s eccentric, Vivi takes that just a tad bit further, simply because he’s always been allowed to.

What Raha keeps repressed, buried deep down, Vivi embraces in full. He’s an unruly, effervescent spark of life, he’s meant to be Raha’s “manic pixie dream boy” according to tvtropes, to slowly lure him out of his shell and teach him confidence, the joy of living, and find a way to stop him from killing himself over and over again.

Words of praise and affirmation have no effect on them. Both are competent in some field, but never brag about it. While Raha has a severe imposter syndrome, Vivi knows he’s cool as a fact, which still doesn't mean he loves or values himself as he should. He just acknowledges and uses his status for his own benefit as openly as the world keeps using himself.

Destiny (affectionate) and destiny (derogatory).

Raha’s The Adult (tm) Vivi needs to stay somewhat stable. This’s the reason they don’t quite get along in ARR yet, Raha must go through that century of suffering that, despite all common sense, refines him into something delightful, Vivi must go through HW-SB to realize his priorities in life and frankly get fucked up enough to form a perfect chemistry with Exarch.

Raha has a moral compass that he may adjust at will, Vivi has none at all. How much more questionable would they be if they weren’t cute and charismatic :’D

They’re feisty and competitive towards each other, Raha especially so. Vivi has a red cloth effect on him. Forever wrestling for that imaginary control (yep, in bed too). On the emotional side, it’s forever “you matter, I don’t”. They’re mirrors of each other, reflecting some parts as they are, twisting others in most peculiar ways.

Vivi literally wouldn’t exist without Raha, both ic and ooc. So I daresay Raha has the most influence on his character, at the same time he’s his own guy enough to stay interesting. I’m so proud of him. I’m holding him by the scruff and helplessly shaking him in the air.

[inchidentally]

ouuhh that's not…

I swear I read it three times and looked through their blog hoping they were joking alfhaslfkh nope

BUT I do not want anyone to engage with this so I'm hiding the link - not just because it's ridiculous but because the best way to confine rpf ship drama is to leave it alone. (edit: so I lied abt this asofgsalfga I did reply to one person but only bc they put it in the main tags) I don't rly like blocking but I also don't want to have to create a million filtered tagged posts on my dash - and tbh I don't think anyone I've blocked will care anyway. this way I can still see carlando content for fun but none of the fandom nonsense.

I'm mostly posting this bc up til now I rly wanted to set aside the behavior of the fandom to continue enjoying carlando content but I just can't be bothered anymore. between the larrying and the rampant, disgusting casual misogyny - and ofc the competing with which friendship or fake ship blorbo 1 and 2 are "happier" with asgfjsalfglja. and it's not just this latest thing I get sent tweets and posts abt whole agendas to "prove" that Lando isn't "happy" with Oscar/Martin/insert man who is currently considered threatening to their concepts of Lando's relationships. some ppl even friendzone Max F and Lando and pretend Carlos means more to Lando than him so there's no limits to the insanity.

so for me atp there just isn't enough about carlando to make it worth constantly being reminded that the way too many of it's fans truly believe that these are two men are either as close to each other as they are to their real, acknowledged close friends and/or in a secret gay relationship, that their girlfriend(s) are cold-hearted PR plants/escorts rigged by an evil all-controlling PR department and once the blorbos are freed of homophobic forces (oh god Carlos' old tweets tiktokboom) they can finally have the kind of toxic heteronormative version of a queer relationship that is right with the universe.

like, rpf is only meant to be for fun and more important it is meant to be kept away from anyone involved/the general public !! but when ppl's delu results in the actual women these men choose as their partners being at best aggressively cropped out of pictures and videos* and at worst stalked, harassed, their families and employers harassed, abuse and slander left in comments sections on popular social media and team pages - yea carlando laughing together sometimes and slowed down bro hugging isn't enough lol

it’s also slightly the fact that if you picked a bunch of Lando’s reactions to Carlos and Daniel and no one knew context clues then no one would be able to tell which one he’s reacting to. Carlos/Daniel teases Lando, Lando shriek laughs and goes red, James Corden style gay innuendo, slightly tense undercurrent of men wanting to one up each other with jokes, iterations of bromance that are half sincere and half for the cameras, hashtag hashtag. Lando goes to Daniel's ranch on a whim, dando is special. Lando goes to Carlos' sister's huge society wedding, carlando is special. Lando's family likes Lando which makes carlando special. Lando and Daniel share mutual friends outside of racing which makes dando special. like, it's the same dynamic just rotated around at different times. I enjoy both ships to a certain degree but I'm kind of mystified at ppl choosing to see them as super deep and meaningful and worth fighting over.

side note g o d do I fully embrace that ppl who do these ship competitions and larrying nonsense have ZERO interest in landoscar bc we love Lily and support Lando in his many probable conquests - and bc the Lando and Oscar dynamic isn't a big bromance for the cameras and has no fake gay for fangirl consumption.

like yes pls absolutely consider landoscar inferior to carlando if it means they stay away from inventing conspiracy theories and saying they "just have a bad feeling" about Lily and start attributing everything Lando has achieved to his teammate instead of himself.

also I could be SO incredibly mean using charlos vs carlando and the difference between PR and the public trying to tear one apart but it persisting vs PR and the public being a major factor in the other persisting at all. or the fact that charlos does everything ppl want carlando to do. but there's no point spending more time on people who think that two adult men - who've both said they're as much rivals as friends and the bromance is more what the public sees - are laughing in metrically different and lesser degrees of happiness with their new teammates vs a former teammate.

like, as long as I can now not be exposed to those opinions then they have a perfect right to express them. god knows I'm not saying my blogs is worth a damn but at least I don't trash anyone's gf or try to stunt on other rpf ships for no reason

tl;dr I'm p much done trying to make carlando worthwhile for me to rb or post about. I enjoy seeing it on my dash for myself but that's it! no one will be affected by this change lafhlsahf

*I know there are a few ppl out there who do this bc they have a no-private life policy on their blogs and that's np. they aren't die hard carlando fans tho.

[jean-meowreau]

Meow or M.

Used to be @/bokuakamazing.

I'm gonna set up a proper info post for myself but for now I'm sharing my simple one from Twitter just bc I want to make sure everything is a safe space for anyone following me!! I try to do my best to give tags for certain content but I may mess up and if it's not for you please feel free to take care of yourself first and foremost and unfollow ♡

A note: I do not personally consume or share non-con content but some people consider high sex, heat/rut sex in A/B/O, and somno between consenting partners to be non-con so I have that there. I don't consume or share explicit assault content, including content with minors in NSFW situations at all. I do support CNC, which is an established BDSM setting between consenting partners who've set up limits before a scene.

Adding incest to this list. Never really had to think about it until now.

I am not a furry but some of the art is stunning but ik it can be an ick for some. I do share content like death, suicide, self-harm, eating disorders - exploration and also some trauma exploration. I write and may share content around torture because learning about it was a special interest when I was younger and I do still find it intriguing.

I share trans content that some young trans peeps can find triggering: bottoming from the front, non-op trans art/fic, and maybe some pregnancy content. (Pregnancy is triggering to me so this is very rare but I may share content discussing why telling trans men they can't get pregnant is transphobic and also informative posts/graphics about pregnancy and how to keep yourself safe should you become pregnant and are heading towards birth.)

I'm queer and ig agender, I kinda don't care. Preferred pronouns are it/its but as someone who's grown up half my time in Texas I understand that using them can be triggering, so he/him is also okay. My romantic labels depend on my partner(s) gender orientation. I love everyone in a gay way, so sometimes I'm a girlfriend, sometimes I'm a boyfriend, sometimes I'm a partner. I'm not here to debate it. If you can't handle that just leave now.

I'm a cult survivor, still deconstructing but 8 years free. I'm agnostic and do often share sacrilegious content so if that is something you're uncomfortable with I recommend muting tags like "sacrilege" and/or "sacrilegious" if you want to keep following. I respect religion and everyone's preference/practice, please respect my decision to not know who/what is in charge and not really give a fuck about it rn.

My interests atm(Aug. 28 2024) are: AFTG, Call of Duty, Haikyuu, Teen Wolf, Good Omens, Dead Boy Detectives, Our Flag Means Death, Interview With a Vampire, What We Do In The Shadows, and other medias I see every so often from mutuals. Sometimes I share art/writing of fandom I'm not even in because I like it. I'll usually try to copy in OPs tags for fandoms and characters and ships where applicable so hopefully tag mutes work.

My Twitter and Instagram are the same username as my blog title.

My AO3 pseuds(by fandom)

- ErlKönig (Call of Duty)

- WretchedLittleRunaway (AFTG)

- SquishySterek (Teen Wolf - very old)

- BokuAkAmazing (Haikyuu - old, not as old as TW)

I do have an Etsy store:

I sell my own merch designs/jewelry and also run my charity projects through here. At the moment I am running:

@sunshine-soap-zine - A huge appreciation zine for John Soap MacTavish (Call of Duty)

@aftg-pinups - an AFTG Pinup Calendar

@cobooty-pinups - A Call of Duty pinup calendar (second year)

My DMs and ask box are always open. I'm autistic so please use tone tags/clarify tone when you can. I'm happy to discuss things I'm in opposition towards but please know I do not owe you my mental or emotional health and can stop/refrain if I so choose.

Thank you ♡

[weirdo09]

ok so i just got back from seeing atsv and just oh my fucking god.

like first of all THE ENDING?! LIKE HOW OUT OF ALL THE (honestly small amount of stuff) SPOILED FOR ME HOW DID NO ONE TELL ME THERE WAS GONNA BE A TBC AT THE END?! I CANT WAIT HOWEVER MANY YEARS ITLL BE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT LIKE-

and like half the stuff in this film felt like a maaaaassssssiiivvveeeee metaphor for coming out like the “promise u won’t love me any less” (or whatever see said i’m bad at remembering exact quotes) and the fact that during Gwen’s speech to her dad EVERYTHING TURNED FUCKING PINK BLUE AND WHITE like cmon they aren’t even being subtle abt it u guys (@ the ppl who r denying it not u) just don’t wanna see queer ppl in media they literally could not make it more on the nose w/o making it an actual queer coming out story and not a metaphor (also when Miles and Rio were talking and he was trying to tell her “a secret” aka that he was spider-man and he was going all “i- i’m- i’m-” before bailing she 1000% thought he was trying to come out to her like as queer idk what other way she couldve interpreter that like srsly)

also not to be horny in asks but i need Miguel to fucking rail me for fuck’s sake hes hot and usually it’d be more likely i’d be into a mosquito than a muscular guy (it’s normally too generic yk)

and yeah that’s all my thoughts on the movie that’s i can turn into words (final random ones that idk how to format: Gwen and Miles were like extra baby in this one esp Miles + ik he has a wife and all but Peter and Miguel r definitely doing smthn like the vibes r there u cant deny it + Gwen x Miles is one of those ships that i don’t rlly care whether they’re romantic or platonic but i prefer them platonic and unfortunately the writers don’t seem to agree with me (kinda like Jopper except Jopper kinda grew on my entirely because of Willel being siblings bring extra extra canon) + not related to the contents of the film but there were these group of rlly annoying Neds sitting behind me and my friend who wouldn’t stop talking and going on their phones and i only heard one but according to my friend 2 ppl yelled at them to shut up and i heard them stop for like 2 seconds then start being bitches again it was so fucking annoying) and yeah damn that was a kinds long final thoughts thingy but yeah will this become my entire personality? idk we’ll have to see now if u’ll excuse me i gotta remember how to be a normal human again (hope this wasn’t too long lmao) :p

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(sorry had to let that out) (it’s happy btw)

yes yes the metaphors, made me cry n everythin,, miles n rio were just !!!!!!! i loved it mostly bcuz i wish that was how my mom would’ve reacted if i ever came out to her (spoiler alert, she didn’t and she found out on her own. she was not at all accepting which is typical)

i mean at first, i thought miguel was comical very comical for having beef with miles, who is half his age!!!! yeah after i got out the theater, i wanted to beat his ass 😡😡😡 but then i could kinda see his attractive still not an excuse, i’d still fight him on sight

peter + miguel, i mean mj would obviously approve,,, they’re my poly couple ok??? miguel n mayday get me in my feels,,, 😭😭😭 like i’ve posted before PETER B PARKER AND MIGUEL O’HARA ATE EACH OTHERS ASSES!!!!! yeah great times

miles + gwen, i don’t really see or care for them romantically.. idk i just can’t see their romantic coding… them platonically just seem so much better to me

sorry abt those Neds,,, they seem like total bitches and you make this movie your whole personality bcuz it will be worth it (secretly goin to make the movie my personality again)

[blackbird-brewster]

3 5 and 18 for the fic asks!! :)

Thanks for the ask! [Send me author asks]

3. What’s your favourite fic that you’ve written?

Oh god, what a difficult question!!! I've written nearly 140 fics in the years I've been active. I'm cheating and gonna list a a couple that I adore with all my heart (and I'm very proud of!)

Criminal Minds, JJ/Tara/Emily, SERIES

I'm never going to stop banging my pots and pans together to hype this fic series. A queer rom-com AU that explores coming out, neurodivergence, found family, and of course, healthy polyamory. What more could you want in a fic?!

Criminal Minds, JJ/Tara, WC: 72,523

Even if you don't ship JJ/Tara, this fic is SOOOOO good. I went a bit experimental and used flashbacks as narrative in each chapter and it just weaves such an incredible story. Anytime I re-read this fic I say, "Holy shit?!?! I wrote this?!" Honestly, even if it's not your ship, read it because it's a masterpiece.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

[Answered Here] But of course I have more than one idea that will probably never actually get written! I have always toyed with the idea of writing a 'Sliding Doors' type of fic. Where the two main characters (probably JJ/Emily) come to a point where they have an important choice to make (Maybe it's Emily deciding whether or not to got o London) and the fic splits off from there. One half of the fic is her going to London, the other is her staying. It's an ambitious idea that would require meticulous planning, but I would LOVE to write it someday

18. What’s one of your favourite lines you’ve written in a fic?

I have to say, my use of metaphors is top-tier. Sometimes I write the most gut-wrenching lines and look at them like 'Who the fuck wrote this!?'. Here are five lines/paragraphs that have always stuck with me:

From [Between You & Me]:

"She and JJ kissed once, just once, when they were drunk and lost in the moment, but in that one chaste kiss, Emily felt the incredible amount of emotion that was cresting in tidal waves behind her lips, just waiting for her to lose enough self-restraint that it would be impossible for her to prevent all the 'I love yous', that had been trapped in her throat, from breaking free from their silent confinement to come spilling out until they drowned her in the process. This feeling, this stark understanding of what would happen if they ever let it go any further than one kiss was what made Emily pull away at the time, even though she often wondered if JJ would have let her keep going if she hadn’t."

From [i can't be wrong (to be craving you)]:

"If hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul, it suddenly feels like the immensity of her fear is ready to pluck hope bare, strip it back, press a boot to its raw and naked form and spit on the entire idea of it, and she knows it would be so incredibly effortless for her to let go, to just give into that desolate feeling."

From [Mercy]:

“You’re parts!” JJ yelled from behind, as she approached Emily.

Emily spun around when she heard JJ’s voice, she was exhausted and really just wanted to get home. She shook her head at JJ,  “What?”

JJ had closed the distance now, she came to rest just a foot way from Emily. “You’re right. You’re right that there are parts of this job I can’t take home. You’re parts. You have always been the part of my job that I couldn’t take home, Emily. Or rather, you have always been the part of my job that I was too afraid to take home.”

From [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 1]:

Penelope poked their head out of their office when they heard the commotion, “What’s happening out here?”

“Derek pulled all of his muscles because, from what I can deduce, he probably underestimated this Emily person since she’s a woman and she seemed to have torn him asunder,” Tara reported as she sipped her coffee.

From [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 2]:

JJ stepped so she was only a foot from Tara. She stared up at the taller woman. “I said… YOU are being a Piglet right now.”

“What does that even mean?” Tara huffed.

“Chapter five, Piglet goes to check the heffalump trap. And he hears the sad sounds of Pooh, but he doesn’t know it’s Pooh, and Piglet gets scared then runs away. Piglet convinced himself the awful noise had to be a Heffalump because he just didn’t stop long enough to look. He had built up this horrifying idea of what Heffalumps looked and sounded like, so Piglet convinced himself a Heffalump was the only explanation for what he briefly saw. He ran away without pausing to really look. But if he HAD looked closely, he would have see that the monster in the trap was actually his good friend Pooh, with a pot on his head. He would have seen it was his friend that needed his help. Piglet ran away because his own self-deception told him he had caught a Heffalump!" JJ stepped closer so they were very nearly pressed into each other. “I’m saying don’t convince yourself something is a Heffalump before you even take time to examine it. Maybe, the big scary Heffalump you’ve concocted in your head is actually your good friend, who cares for you deeply. Your good friend who needs you. Your good friend who wants you. Your good friend who desires nothing more than for you to stop running.”

[doodl-selfships]

Mod Intros!!

Mod Intros!

Hi hello!! Im Mod Shrimpy!

Im 19 and I use he/they/it, sim/sims and, kan/kandi pronouns. Theres a ton more but those are fine for now :] Im queer, aromantic and nonbinary!

My interests are!! [hyperfixes in bold]

Pokémon, Hollow Knight, My Little Pony (all gens), No Straight Roads, Twisted Wonderland, Ensemble Stars, Bungo Stray Dogs, and many more things im too tired to write o(-(

I am waaayy into art and animation ⭐ I love creating things and thinking about my f/os!! I have extreme social anxiety and tend to type things funny!

My main f/os include - Leon (Pokemon), Shu Itsuki (Enstars), Madara Mikejima (Enstars), Wataru Hibiki (Enstars), and Nikolai Gogol (bsd) ! I am uncomfortable sharing them (queerplatonically or romantically)

My signoff / symbol is 🦐

—

hiya , im mod jellie !

ive got a lot of pronouns but some faves are ae/aer , ve/ver/vis , heo/hei/hiere , drip/drop , glow/glows , paw/paws , kit/kits , and zip/zap

lets see as far as gender and attraction goes , im generally just queer and polyamorous and have a mostly xenogenders :}

spinterests/strong hyperfixations are in bold;

my interests include kirby , digital art , cats , sky: children of the light , splatoon , hollow knight , and fnaf !

my main f/os are magolor from kirby’s return to dream land and taranza from kirby triple deluxe. i do not like sharing them romantically/queerplatonically nor them being shipped w/ other canon characters.

my signoff is - 🐱

—

Mod Bug!

I’m 16, I use ia/ia/tana, he/him/his, it/it/its and all neopronouns, with a preference for bug related neos.

I am a girlboy, transsexual, gay and aromantic. I’m queer in every sense of the term, [including weird! I’m like a girl if he was Strange and Abnormal.]

I am mentally and physically disabled, and am chronically ill.

I am indigenous.

Current interests are [special interests marked with ‣];

‣Hollow Knight, ‣Pokémon, The Stanley Parable, ‣Half-Life and Portal, cowboys, ‣queer history, ‣my OCs, ‣science, ‣art and writing.

My main F/Os are The Narrator from The Stanley Parable and Professor Sycamore from Pokémon and I am very uncomfortable with sharing romantically or queerplatonically.

My signoff is -🐞

—

Hihi! I’m Mod bubblez!

:> Im 16yrz old and go by pip/it/they prnnz, I’m queer & genderqueer ( hehe queer² ) I have alot of alternating typing quirkz, plz bare with me if one happenz to be a lil confusing

Im currently interested in (spinterests marked w/✨): Epithet Erased, ✨Hollow knight, ✨undertale, helluva boss, ✨music (in general but mostly vocaloid) and dating simz n rhythm gamez in general!

I’m a digital artist n hope to do book illustration, animation and character design in the future :]

My main f/os are Wilson from Don’t Starve and Tiso from hollow knight

My sign off is -🎉

—

hi hi !! you can call me mod wish :D

i use all pronouns and neopronouns! (but in case u cant choose, i like ae/aer and star/stars a lot :])

i’m pangender and bi-aroaceflux, 18 years old and diagnosed with asd :}

my interests (spinterests are in bold) are: video games+game development, genshin impact, undertale, lucid dreaming, ensemble stars!!, steven universe, pokémon, bnha, and digital art !! <3

bc im aro/acespec, most of my f/o connections are platonic or something similar, romantic ones are very rare and usually not even completely romantic (most of the time),,

all my main f/o’s are from genshin impact and ensemble stars, and i’m okay with sharing all of them!

my signoff is - 🌠

[atomicrebelomega]

Oh yeah, PREACH, please. This fandom is S H A L L O W as hell. I could argue that half of the point of the show is body diversity positivity (the cast is so! diverse! both racially and physically) and yet, the fandom has latched onto the conventionally attractive cast members and missed the point completely.

I don't think anyone in the show is "conventionally attractive" which is something I adore because at the same time they're not normal and standard yet attractive in their own ways??

For example: Black Pete (And his actor Matt Maher) are men with cleft lips and heavy lisps that can make understanding them kinda difficult (Matt mentions having surgery and speech therapy) and are downright handsome to me tbh but not the standard for how actors should look. Especially if they're in relationships.

Pete, in any other show, would be mocked/a comedic relief character based on his disability. In another one of Matt's more notable roles, he voices Wade in GTA V, his disability isnt mentioned at all but his speech is used to highlight that his character is uneducated and naive with an added accent that makes it clear he's "trailer trash". In OFMD, Black Pete's speech and scars are not mentioned either, but yet Pete being an idiot when it comes to women and their roles and idolizing Blackbeard, you can feel that his disability isn't being used to accentuate those details. When Pete mentions it's problematic for Jim lead the mutiny because they're mute, no one says that Pete has a lisp/is hard to understand like it possibly would be said in another comedy to reach for an easy extra "joke". And yes Pete is a comedic relief as is literally everyone at some point, but he's still half of one of the three main couples.

I do not know how to explain how rare and special it is that not only is a visibly disabled man in a relationship that shows them kissing and shows kinda offscreen sex with noone judging them or asking why Lucius, who is not visibly disabled, is with him, but that it is a gay relationship on top of that. As queer media is more popular now than ever, we rarely seen "average/normal" looking gay men. We get abs and perfect skin and teeth and unrealistic bodies. Black Pete is attractive and he could be any dude walking around town. What I love is he and Lucius look like a normal gay couple in both looks and action but thrown in 1717. I think that was the intent as well.

Now, can the "We don't own each other." line be read as poly? Sure. It can also be read as many other things such as:

Black Pete doesn't dictate what Lucius does, like nude sketches. We have no confirmation Fang and Lucius has sex. Nudity isn't inherently sexual AND Lucius did flirt just to get out of work. We also see even after they first get together, they give each other space and aren't glued to the hip immediately. Yeah they are close to each other in many scenes but they go off and do other shit with other characters and its so refreshing.

At the time, they are not officially together, so Lucius can sleep around. In the next episode Pete shows he truly cares for Lucius and gifts him the wooden finger. At this point they could have become officially but once again we have no confirmation so maybe they still aren't "together".

Lucius and Pete are in an open relationship but they are each other's primary partner. This is what many believe but keep in mind we have a vague line that is the only ammo to this idea.

I like all these ideas, but I'm worried about fanon getting so out of hand that anyone who doesn't believe in poly!Lucius is gonna be called out/treated as if they're anti-poly. Which honestly in the grand scheme of things who cares, but things get out of hand in fandoms unfortunately and we have already had slip ups.

One issue I have is the big influx of Izzy/Lucius shippers. I like all our ships, even find their dynamic compelling but definitely not a romantic one. I wouldn't give it a second thought if it wasn't for the fact that many in the fandom seem to favor Izzy and Lucius fucking/being together over Pete and Lucius. Even "poly!Lucius" supporters rarely give Pete a second thought. They don't even add Fang, who they argue Lucius slept with/is also seeing, into the mix. Its as if they want the toxic relationship with two "closer to able and pretty" characters to get together rather than the established couple where one is visibly disabled and actually healthy. It's irking me to see this and slap the label of polygamous over it as an excuse.

Anyway enough ranting, just wanted to put it out there because no one seems to mention this much but yeah I agree.

[kadyflowers]

how about apollo for that ask game? also i hope you have a nice day!!

aah, thank you, thank you! Today's been okay :)

Sexuality Headcanon: Queer. Initially he went with ‘gay’ (more on this in ‘gender’, below), but I’ve reassessed this in light of my fav Klav RPer writing him as a he/they enby. Apollo had some Thoughts about this, considered it for a while, internalised everything because it was his thing to deal with without putting any pressure on his partner and because of course he did he’s Apollo Justice, and eventually decided ‘queer’ works for him.

Gender Headcanon: Trans man. Mostly stealth, although not out of shame - more just that it’s nobody else’s damn business. He does the odd bit of pro bono for the LGBTQIA+ community, and volunteers now and then at a local charity, although he tends to lean more into being gay or queer if it’s ever questioned what his connection to the community is, rather than coming out. (Which he did right before going to college, by the way.)

A ship I have with said character: Klapollo is one of my OTPs (which is sort of an oxymoron, given the ‘o’ stands for ‘one’, but I’m rolling with it and you all can deal). It takes them a while to get things sorted out, partially because Klav is always just a little bit in show mode and that messes with Apollo’s perception. Once he understands how much he can trust them, it’s not unknown for the bracelet to come off at home.

A BROTP I have with said character: Clay Terran 5ever. I headcanon they had a confused little brief teenage romance at about the age of 14-15, because their best friend feels got sort of confused and mixed up, but quickly realised they prefer being, and are better as, the bestest besties, and went back to that without any drama.

A NOTP I have with said character: Apollo/Phoenix. Phoenix is his boss and kind of older brother/father(?) figure (right down to screwing up big time now and then) and I just can’t see it.

A random headcanon: Has perfect pitch. Hates it. Klavier (whose relative pitch is phenomenal, but not actual perfect pitch) is filthy jealous.

General opinion of said Character: I prefer writing Klav to Apollo if I’m RPing, though I can do both, which is saying something; usually I have a very strong preference for one side of the pairing, to the point of finding myself pretty much unable to write the other half. Which I guess means this angry little mess of a man went and stole my heart. Damn you, Apollo Justice. I suppose that’s, well… fine. ;)

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

From anon: I don’t know how someone can be as intelligent as you behind this blog and still ship Vmin and Namjin.... where j*k*ok is known for being the most realistic Jimin-ship and Namjin is known for being creepy for feminizing Jin to extreme extents. People that ship namjin give me chills honestly. Majority have this twisted fantasy of om*ga Jin x a*pha Joon which is so disgusting.

Thank you, I guess, for this backhanded complement (which I'm saying with the utmost amount of sarcasm, just so we're clear). Quick question though, if namjinists give you chills and you aren’t a vminnie, what are you doing on a blog that is mostly about both?

While I won't get into why I don't agree with your statement in regard to J*k*ok, and therefore by proxy about vmin, I do very much take offense against what you said about Namjin and namjinists. While yes, there are people who do what you said they do, there is an overwhelming majority of those who don't. Since there is no way for me to check every single account of a namjinist and ask them if they feminize Seokjin or see him as om*ga in their fanfics/fantasies, I can use the power of AO3 as place to get some data to check this argument, since a lot of this is reflected in what people write and how they characterize the members.

More below the cut since this could be a topic/discussion some might not want to read about or even see on their TL:

Since 2013 there are 153k fanfics for BTS across all available languages, out of which 7863 have the al*ha/b*ta/om*ga dynamics tag on them, meaning just about 5% of fics fall into that "genre", which is basically nothing. Because I was curious, I checked both designations for each member and created a table, the result being this:

Now what do we have here, 45% more results for O for Seokjin than A though that's barely anything when compared to the 70% of O for Jimin, meaning even if Seokjin is seen as O, it's much worse in Jimin's case. And while yes, a majority of those % is due to namjin fics, the majority in Jimin's case is due to J*k*ok ones, so really, who are the bad (feminizing) guys here? Even more so when you consider that there are 2.1k J*k*ok fics in this category (without otp:true) as opposed to 1.6k namjin ones. Also, before someone argues that vminnies are just as bad, there are only 631 fics with that tag for vmin and 1.4k for y*onm*n, which covers the three main Jimin ships.

Then, because I was still curious and I like numbers, I thought I could check the other two much debated tags for comparison purposes:

As it turns out, these results are not great either, though comparatively far worse when it comes to Jimin, though judging by how certain parts of the fandom (and especially shippers) treat and see him, and portray him as, I can't necessarily say I'm surprised.

Now, what does all of this tell us?

For one I think it showcases a big issue we have when it comes to mlm ships within those writing about Bangtan, but also in general, the fact that in large parts many write mlm not because they are gay themselves, or even queer, but because they enjoy their ship and base their way of writing them on stereotypes and by projecting heteronormative ideas and norms onto them, consciously or not is up for debate. There is a whole discussion to be had about when certain writers portray queer characters/real people respectfully and when it turns into blatant feminization and even fetishization, but I'm neither the right person nor am I equipped or informed enough to be the one to have it. There have been countless others who did a brilliant job of it so if this is a topic that interests you, I'm sure you'll be able to find resources and posts about it with ease.

Now, as someone who is queer myself and likes both vmin and namjin dearly, I think it's uncalled for of you to come into our asks and make such claims about namjinists, especially toward someone who never exhibited any such behavior themselves, as in me. I know a lot of namjinists, I watch the community and read their discussions as best as I can, and I enjoy reading a good fic from time to time. And while yes, there are problematic writers who do what you accuse them of, as well as shippers more generally speaking, such people can be found for every ship, their amount those vastly varies.

I don't ship vmin and namjin based on some kind of fantasy version I have made up in my head of them, nor do I read a/*/o myself since I find the whole genre repulsive, so I don't see how you thought this would be an effective argument for whatever you thought this ask would achieve. I base my ship related thoughts, opinions and analysis entirely on what the members show us, the personalities they have, the things they've said and done, and the music they have written. I don't subscribe to any weird conspiracy theories and I don't subscribe to the idea either that the "smaller" one in a ship plays whatever role as opposed to the "bigger" one, or even the idea that relationships have set roles because that's not true for straight couples so why should it be the case for queer ones?

Anon, you can dislike shippers who go too far, we all do, and while I agree that people who still "force" their weird ideals onto Seokjin while "forcing" stereotypes onto Namjoon simply because he's tall and buff are disgusting and wrong, I'm not one of those people. And neither are most of the people who send in asks or have sent me DMs to talk about namjin. There are other sns where these behaviors are exhibited to unimaginable extents by (mostly) women much too mature to be talking in such manners about young musicians half their age or more, perhaps you should send asks like this to them instead.

At the end of the day, how “real” a ship is has no correlation with how big it is or the way people fantasize, write and talk about them. The only deciding factor are the people that are actually involved in the ship itself, not its shippers and their beliefs. Sometimes it worth it to make up your own opinion instead of following the “popular” one without question, or letting toxic shippers taint your opinion of everyone that likes a certain ship.

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[clumsyclifford]

you said i should say less about new ace content in general and i immediately understood that as say more so please gimme some ace stuff and please make it fluffy. i don't particularly care about the pairing but i'm always down for lashton and/or malum but any atl ship works for me as well so like just do your thing i guess wow that was a useless sentence this messy ask is further proof that i should go to sleep so bye love you!! -fiancee

well i ran with ace lashton in an interesting way i hope you enjoy it this is not based on real life but maybe it could be. in a better world it is. that’s all i’ll say about that, i hope you like it

read here on ao3

-

Luke likes going to the movies. He likes staying home and having a home-cooked meal. He likes quiet, simple, intimate activities.

He does not like parades.

“But it’s Pride,” Ashton wheedles. “D.C. Pride! One of the biggest pride events in the country!”

“You made that up, and I don’t care,” says Luke. “I don’t want to go. I don’t like parades.”

“It’s not really a parade.”

“Also not true.”

“Okay, but it’s not about the parade, it’s about the gathering,” Ashton says, gently shaking Luke. “It’s about a bunch of queer people all coming together and uniting in one space. Celebrating our differences and our similarities. Celebrating community.”

“That’s beautiful,” Luke says. Ashton looks hopeful. “Still no.”

Ashton huffs. “I don’t wanna go alone.”

“Go with Michael and Calum,” Luke suggests. “I’m sure they’d love for you to tag along.”

“And third-wheel all day? No thanks.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” Luke says, and carries on setting the table for dinner. If his mum comes home to a half-set table, the blame will fall on Luke, of course. Ashton takes the cue and begins laying out plates.

It’s quiet for a moment. Luke can tell Ashton is trying to come up with a way to convince him to go to Pride, but it won’t work. Luke’s avoided Pride for seventeen years. He doesn’t intend to start now. Staying at home with his boyfriend and watching Rent is about as much as Luke cares to celebrate Pride Month. Maybe they’ll make out a little. Standards are low.

“Okay, how about this,” Ashton says, and Luke sighs deeply. “No, hear me out. And keep an open mind, okay? Think about compromise.”

“I’m listening.”

“What if we go before the parade starts?”

Luke frowns. “Then what would be the point?”

“There will still be people there,” Ashton says. “But it won’t be nearly as many people, and the festivities won’t really be happening yet, so we can still say we went to Pride but we won’t get caught up in the whole big thing.”

“But I thought you wanted the whole big thing.”

“Ah, whatever,” Ashton says, waving him off. “I’d rather go with you than see the parade alone.”

Luke feels bad. It’s obviously important to Ashton, or else he’d have given up already on trying to make Luke go. And as much as Luke knows he shouldn’t feel obliged to prioritize Ashton’s wishes over his own comfort, this makes him want to.

Compromise. “Okay,” Luke says. “Fine.”

Ashton blinks. “Really?”

“Did you think that wouldn’t work?”

“I—” Ashton’s face breaks into a smile. “I don’t know, not really, to be honest. Really? You’ll come?”

“Yes,” Luke says, and the delight in Ashton’s face makes up for the dread pooling in Luke’s stomach. 

Ashton shuffles around the table and presses a warm kiss to Luke’s cheek. “Thank you,” he says, warmth also bleeding into his voice. “I’m excited. You’re gonna like it.”

Probably not, but Luke keeps that thought to himself. He doesn’t need to rain on any more of Ashton’s parades.

-

Luke and Ashton are excited about Dupont Circle for different reasons. Ashton is basically vibrating out of his seat on the Metro as they approach their stop, where the parade is slated to begin at half past noon. It’s only eleven now, but that doesn’t seem to matter to Ashton. He seems confident that there will be enough Pride to satisfy his excitement without overwhelming Luke.

Luke’s just looking forward to the Krispy Kreme at the station.

They take the escalator out, and sure enough, there’s Krispy Kreme to the left. Luke grabs Ashton’s hand and yanks him towards the shop.

“Seriously? We’re at D.C. Pride and your priority is donuts?” Ashton says, but he allows Luke to tug him along until they’re at the door.

Luke turns to him and very seriously says, “Ashton, my priority is always donuts.”

“Yeah, that’s fair, I walked into that one,” Ashton mutters as they enter the store.

Five minutes and two donuts later, both of them exit, Luke munching contentedly on a strawberry-frosted donut (with sprinkles, of course) and Ashton carefully biting into his jelly-filled one. 

“Okay, starting now, we’re at Pride, and you can’t be a Negative Nancy,” Ashton declares.

“I promise not to be a Negative Nancy,” Luke vows. “I swear on this donut.”

Ashton beams. “Yay! Okay let’s go explore.”

You’d think this was Ashton’s first Pride for how excited he gets over everything. He stops at almost every stand, even though they’re all selling different versions of the same thing, and somehow manages to spark up conversation with any passing person who looks queer and interesting. Luke loves this about Ashton, how charming and outgoing he is, how he could befriend a vaguely human-shaped plant. People are drawn to him; Luke’s no exception. Ashton is very much the main character, even more so because he doesn’t seem to know it. He's just Ashton, and Luke loves him for it. Even when it means the halo of Ashton’s spotlight draws attention to Luke by extension.

Luke is not a charming, outgoing person. Luke is quiet and reserved. He’s never cared for the spotlight. Sometimes it’s a good thing that he has Ashton to pull him out of his shell a little. Sometimes he wilts under the scrutiny. It's a toss-up, but Luke appreciates that Ashton never stops trying.

Most of the tables selling merch boast shirts, hats, flags — the kind of thing you’d wear or own if you wanted to be loud and proud about your identity. Luke’s not really that kind of person. Luke’s way of coming out is to subtly slip into the conversation the fact that he has a boyfriend. Before he had a boyfriend, it pretty much never came up. Big, colorful flags have never been his cup of tea. 

And anyway, that’s only half of his identity. The other half never comes up, and Luke’s okay with that. It’s not like being ace is the kind of thing you can casually mention. It has to be a whole thing, every time, and Luke doesn’t want to deal with the whole thing, so he just doesn’t bother. Most of the time it doesn’t really matter. As much as Luke is able to fly under the radar, that’s what he intends to do.

“Hey, pins!”

Ashton is not like that.

“Luke, you like pins, right?”

The table they’ve stopped at is covered end-to-end with pins. Enamel or plastic, every single pride flag Luke has ever seen in his life is represented here, in a variety of shapes and sizes. The kaleidoscopic display is fun to look at, at least. There’s nobody behind the table at the moment, which means in theory it would be pretty easy to steal one, but Luke’s not like that, and even if he was he wouldn’t feel good stealing a pride pin from a small-business owner.

“I don’t really have an opinion,” says Luke.

“Ha,” Ashton says. “O-pin-ion. Haha.”

“I’m leaving you,” Luke says, turning away with a wry grin.

“No, come back.” Ashton grabs his wrist and pulls him closer, so Luke wraps an arm around his waist and rests his head on Ashton’s shoulder instead. “I like pins. They’re a very understated way of coming out.”

“Having a boyfriend is an understated way of coming out,” Luke replies.

"I resent you calling me understated," Ashton says in faux-indignance. Luke giggles.

“I’m so sorry, I had to run and grab some water,” says a voice, as a person bustles around them to stand behind the table. Their pink fringe is pushed back by a bandana and they’re wearing a jean jacket with so many pins and patches that the fabric is practically invisible. A sticker on the front pocket of the jacket introduces them as Alex, he/they :). “Can I help you with anything?”

“Just admiring the collection,” Ashton says brightly. “I love your jacket.”

“Thank you very much,” says Alex. “It’s been accumulating pins for about five years now.”

“Damn,” Ashton says, wolf-whistling. “That’s a good collection. I don’t have a good jacket for pins.”

“Wish I could tell you where I got mine, but it was a gift from my boyfriend,” Alex says. “I’ve heard thrifting is a good way to go.”

“You wanna go thrifting, Luke?” Ashton says, nudging Luke, who shrugs.

“Sure,” he says. He reaches for one of the asexual flag pins, a small enamel rectangle, and smoothes his thumb over the surface. “These are pretty nice.”

“You should buy it,” Ashton says. “Start a cool jacket. Then we could be matching.”

“You don’t have a cool jacket yet.”

“I know, but we could.”

“But neither of us have a cool jacket. So it’s not even—”

“Fine, ruin my fun,” Ashton harrumphs. To Alex, who’s watching them with amusement, Ashton says, “So how long have you and your boyfriend been together?”

“Oh, uh…” Alex’s gaze diverts to the air like he’s counting invisible numbers. “Six years? Almost? I think it’s gonna be six years in July.”

“Six years,” Ashton repeats in mild awe. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, high school sweethearts, blah blah blah,” Alex says, smiling. They shrug. “Everyone thought we’d break up when we went to college, but when you know, you know. You know?”

Luke swallows. Ashton says, “Good for you. That’s impressive.”

“I like to think so,” Alex says. “What about you? Are you guys together?” He winces. “Should I not have asked that? I’m sorry, to be honest this is Jack’s business, I’m just running the stand because he wanted to go look around a little before the parade started. My boyfriend Jack, I mean. Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s all good,” Ashton says. He hip-checks Luke gently, which Luke takes to mean something like is it cool if I tell him? It’s nice that Ashton is asking, but Luke had kind of figured everyone would assume they were together because, you know, Pride, so he doesn’t really care.

“Yeah,” he says. “For, what, eight months?”

“Eight months,” Ashton confirms.

Alex grins. “That’s great, I love it. What are your names?”

“Ashton,” says Ashton. “He/him.”

“Luke. Also he/him.”

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” Alex says. “I’m Alex. He/they.”

“Yeah, your thing says,” Luke says, pointing.

Alex laughs. “You’d be surprised how many people don’t see it. Or they see it and think it’s just another decorative pin.”

“Do people wear pronoun pins as decorations?” Luke wonders. “That seems strange to me.”

“People are ineffable,” Alex says solemnly. Then he grins. Luke likes Alex. In fact, little though Luke’s actually spoken today, he likes most of the people whom Ashton has stopped to chat up. Queer people are so friendly, is what Luke is learning. It almost makes him happy to be here. 

Except now Alex’s words are ringing in Luke’s head, and he can’t stop hearing them. Everyone thought we’d break up when we went to college, but when you know, you know. 

Ashton’s going to college this fall. Luke’s managed to forget about that fact because it’s only June, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Ashton’s leaving and Luke’s going to finish his senior year alone and what if something happens to them? What if they’re fooling themselves thinking they can do the long-distance thing? What if they’re doomed already and this summer is just prolonging the inevitable?

“Well, personally I would love to buy a pin,” Ashton says. “Luke, choose one.”

“What?” Luke says, blinking himself out of his spiral. “Why?”

“I’m buying you one,” Ashton says.

“I don’t—” Luke bites his lip. He’s still fidgeting with the ace flag pin, and he kind of likes it. Maybe he can subtly come out in different ways. Maybe he can just wear it, and wait for someone to ask. Then it’s way less of a big deal because it’s not like Luke has brought it up. 

There’s enough shame in the world. Luke doesn’t need to add to it.

“Okay,” he says instead. He holds up the ace flag. “This one.”

“Great choice,” Ashton says, digging out a five to give to Alex. He hesitates, then pulls out a ten instead. “Actually, maybe I’ll also get one. Then we can actually match.”

“Right, with our matching jackets that don’t exist yet.”

“You know what, fine, we don’t have to match.” Ashton makes a face at Luke. “You can put your pin on whatever you want. It’ll go great with your all-black closet.”

“Shut up,” Luke grumbles. Ashton laughs.

“Hey, don’t knock the all-black,” Alex says. “Black is the new black. It’s fashion forward.”

“Not in eighty-degree June it’s not,” Ashton says.

“It’s seventy-five,” Luke protests. “And Alex is wearing a jacket!”

“Yes, but Alex is not my boyfriend, and we only just met,” Ashton says, grinning. “Also, their jacket is sick as fuck.”

“It is sick as fuck,” Alex agrees. “But I’m still siding with Luke here. You can’t go wrong with all-black.” For the first time, he seems to register Luke’s shirt, and his eyes light up. “Hey, Green Day! I fucking love Green Day!”

“You should be my best friend,” Luke says seriously, and Alex nods equally seriously.

“Hey,” Ashton complains. “I like Green Day.”

“Thank you for the pin,” Luke tells Alex. “Good luck with the, uh, you know, selling more of them.”

“Of course, anytime,” Alex says. “I’m pretty sure there’s a website on these business cards if you ever want to, I don’t know, browse?” They shrug one shoulder. “This is why I’m not a small business owner.”

“Cool,” Luke says, taking the card. He probably won’t use it, but you never know. 

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” Ashton says, as he and Luke start to walk away, fingers interlaced between them. “Good luck! Happy Pride!”

“You too! Enjoy the parade!” Alex says, waving.

Luke doesn't bother to inform him they're not staying that long; he and Ashton turn away and continue walking, Luke with his new pin clutched in his fist.

“They were cool,” Ashton says enthusiastically. “There are so many fucking interesting people here. God, I love Pride.”

Luke grips the pin tighter. The pointy back starts to hurt where it’s pressing into his palm. “Yeah.”

“Thanks for letting me get you something,” Ashton says. “I know it’s not really your thing, but I don’t know. I felt like we should buy something after we stood there for so long.”

“No, yeah, I agree.”

“On the bright side, they’re pretty cool pins.” Ashton holds his out like he’s assessing what he’ll do with it. “Maybe Michael has an extra jean jacket he never wears. I could ask him.”

Luke hums. Ashton glances over at him, eyebrows drawn together. “Are you okay?”

Luke's not supposed to say anything like this. He’s supposed to be positive because he promised he wouldn’t be a “Negative Nancy” and the sky is so blue that Luke would hate to be the reason for rain, but if he doesn’t say it then it’ll just keep ringing around his head until he can’t think about anything else.

“You’re not scared we’re gonna break up when you go to college?” he blurts out.

Ashton stops short and their hands break apart so Luke’s falls to his side. “Where’d that come from?”

“You heard Alex,” Luke says. “Everyone thought he and his boyfriend would break up when they went to college.”

“But they didn’t,” Ashton says.

“But that’s obviously unusual,” Luke counters. He swallows hard. “I’m just saying…aren’t you worried?”

Ashton tilts his head. “Do you want me to be worried?”

And yeah, a little part of Luke does. Only because if Ashton’s worried, it means he values their relationship enough that it would hurt him to lose it. But Luke knows that’s not really fair, and he knows Ashton loves him, even if he doesn’t seem worried at all.

“No, I don’t know. I just— I don’t know.”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know,” Luke says again. “I had pretty successfully managed to avoid thinking about it, but now…I don’t know.”

Ashton gently pries open Luke’s fist and runs his thumb over the red imprint the pin has left. Sheepish, Luke puts the pin in his pocket. As soon as his hand is free again, Ashton takes it, holding both of Luke’s hands in both of his own.

“I’m not worried,” he says quietly. His eyes are so sincere and his hands are so soft and Luke loves him and likes him and knows that to lose him would be a fate worse than death. “You must have missed the other half of Alex’s sentence. Remember? When you know, you know.”

Luke’s breath catches a little. “Yeah, but…”

“But what?” Ashton lifts a shoulder. “I already know, Luke. I’m in it for the long haul. So unless you meet some other guy who’s even awesomer than me and makes better puns, you have nothing to worry about. I’m not letting you get away that easy.”

Luke gazes at Ashton until the rest of the world falls away. “Oh,” he breathes.

“Okay?” Ashton quirks a smile.

Luke surges forward and kisses Ashton for as long as he can manage without passing out. It’s clumsy and sweet and Ashton’s hands tighten around Luke’s waist and Luke wraps his arms around Ashton’s shoulders and nothing else in the known universe matters except this.

When they finally break apart, Luke cracks a smile. “Okay.”

Ashton beams. He offers his hand to Luke again, and this time Luke takes it and doesn’t let go.

[ofherlionheart]

okay I have four!! for the au + ship

uhhhh they're are like crossovers so yea but!!

mailee hadestown au

platonic zutara or toph & katara aquamarine au

little mermaid yueki au

idk uhhh suki & sokka The Half of It au

ahah, anyway feel free to mix and match!

omg omg omg! tragically i have never seen aquamarine so i don't feel qualified to talk abt that BUT i would looooove to see more toph/katara friendship shenanigan fics. they're so much fun and it's so spicy when they don't get along and even SPICIER when they're scheming together

hadestown: bro bro bro bro bro if hadestown hades is read as capitalist billionaires who profit off of their warehouses and factories of employees that so easily turns into modern au ozai (w/ or w/o bending still in the universe)! with ursa as the super complicated figure of persephone damn. talk about love vs mitigation vs complicity wow. and then mai as eurydice ty lee as orpheus? like obvi if you stick w/ the hadestown script they have a tragic ending BUT when it make ozai/ursa your hades/persephone, atla canon introduces the twist of zuko and azula existing. does hades!ozai seem as powerful and infallible when he's actually a mortal now? what becomes of a god whose progeny can very well outlive him? how does eurydice and orpheus' story change when gods only appear as gods b/c of the unfair systems that feed into their power?

little mermaid: okay at first i was like yue is the mermaid b/c suki is a non-bender BUT if you think about kyoshi island's isolationist policy, that can totally translate to king triton's 'we-don't-go-above-the-surface' thing. ik ariel is the youngest of her siblings, but what if suki were the oldest of the mer-sibs and was therefore their default leader? then her kyoshi warriors literally become her sisters and the stakes re: suki's interest in the surface are intensified: not only is she disobeying her people's no-surface-interaction policy, but she's also betraying/abandoning one of the very things that she loves and that goes a long way in defining her and her personhood (mermaidhood?). idk who would be funniest as ursula but however it goes i think it'd be hilarious if ursula wasn't a vengeful villain, but just a batty queer witch who likes to help other people fuck around a find out. is ursla aunt wu? is ursula june? is ursula actually encapsulated by two people, e.g. sokka and zuko (little did suki know, zuko used to be human but sokka helped him become a merperson so they could be gay and mischievous in an underwater cave with two pet eels forever)? and and and maybe, when suki saves yue's life, it's not just a storm at sea — yue's kingdom is at war, and yue snuck off in men's clothing to help fight the fight. when suki first begs ursula to give her legs, it's just so she can check that yue's all right — she's been having nightmares about yue dying and her inky black hair suddenly turning white, and suki's haunted by the scene for reasons unknown. suki's voice isn't taken as a trade for legs but as an oopsy b/c ursula is young and still mastering her magic. suki finds that yue's hair hasn't turned yet but that can be some dramatic fantastical plot point later. the og little mermaid by mickey doesn't give a whole lot by way of duty/sacrifice/filial piety but finding a way to reshape the little mermaid to fit those themes, which are so central to yue and suki, could be a really fun challenge!

re: the half of it — i have seen it, but i rly didn't vibe with it thematically/structurally, mostly for the reasons pointed out in this article. it's a short but worthwhile read — just a heads up that it discusses rape culture/racial trauma/racialized and sexualized violence against asian womxn

[aliatori]

Hey! I'm going to ask for L, O, T, S (and let you pick which one(s) you want to answer :B)

Oh hey lio, thanks for the asks. <3 Lucky for you, you get the answers to all 4, since L and T are here and I’ll answer the other two in this post.

O: What motivates you to write?

My half-serious and off the top of the head answers: deadlines where I risk disappointing someone if I miss it… and spite. So much spite.

Joking aside, the answer to this varies on several fronts. For original fiction, a lot of my writing motivation stems from wanting to follow a passing idea down the rabbit hole, wherever that might lead. A few recent stories started with questions/concepts like ‘What would an isolated village where residents are cursed to never look in a mirror look like, and why are they cursed?’ or ‘Orpheus/Eurydice, except Orpheus is toxically obsessed and gets as many chances as he wants to ‘rescue’ her, and Eurydice is a genderfluid demigod who gets more powerful every time she’s sent—or sends herself, bloodily and messily—back to hell’.

When I’m in a period writing for fandom, I mostly want to see my faves in whatever tropey situations I like, subverted or not. Since I tend to pick… uh, Canon’s Least Loved ™ characters as my faves (insert me looking longingly at a certain Prince’s Shield or a white-haired Empress to be who dresses all in red), it’s often a ‘If you want something done, do it yourself’ that motivates me to write whatever I have in mind. I’m also a flagrant multishipper, but usually in the sense where I ship my fave(s) with almost everyone and want to explore those dynamics.

There’s also some truth to the opening jokes. When I’m in a slump OR when I want to keep writing motivation going, I’ll often seek out an exchange that sounds interesting so I’m ‘forced’ to write. This is incidentally how The Forsaken and the Forsworn became a thing, so success levels vary from ‘fun exchange’ to ‘holy shit I’m on month three and counting of constant obsession’. And I’m not exactly proud of the whole spite/contrarianism motivation, but hey, sometimes you see a bad take in passing and channel it into creativity.

In general, giving myself permission not to feel obligated to share things and have fun with it has been helpful in motivating me to sit down and put words to documents. (We won’t talk about how I’ve needed find other motivation for when I do need to eventually share said words, hahaha.) Thinking of the dopamine hit of putting the finishing line down on a one shot or shorter piece is often enough to get me in the chair, and for longer projects, thinking of getting to The Next Big, Exciting Scene is my carrot to chase.

And this is perhaps the most bitter pill to swallow but… sometimes waiting for motivation is like waiting for rain in the desert. It’s a regular occurrence where I sit down, set a timer, and agree with myself to work on my current project for X amount of time. I like it when I feel motivated, but it can be a luxury feeling, especially when life or mental health isn’t cooperating but I still want to get stuff done.

S: Would you let a stranger off the streets read your first drafts?

If this requires a yes or no answer alone, abso-fucking-lutely not.

If I can add some addendums, I’d say it depends. It would be far more likely for my original work, especially if I got to elevator pitch the stranger first and let them decide if they’re interested. I like my writing a lot, but I also realize M-E rated speculative queer work isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea.

For fanfiction, I would sooner eat a kilo of black licorice in one sitting than show them to a stranger on the streets, though I’ve thrown rough stuff up on Tumblr and such. My poetry and essay first drafts are between me, my hard drive, and the gods alone; nothing horrifies my private Scorpio nature than letting my messy, raw, emotional work be seen before thorough editing for craft purposes.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Maybe Death is Just Going Home- A Spones Fic

The wind was soft on the back of his neck. Stroking the weak skin that was exposed. Sunrise was still underway, the blues and yellows and greens all mixing together. 

His garden was thriving under the care of his yard workers, who he'd employed to do the tough work his brittle body couldn't take anymore. The pond near the fence was full of lily pads and flowers, fish showing their faces occasionally. Flowers poked their heads up to the sky from the raised flower beds. A wind chime jingled somewhere to his right.

He remembered a time when he didn't let himself enjoy these things. The song of a bird or the way a flower bloomed. It was the days of being a strict Vulcan, of denying the emotions that drove his species to pure logic and repression, of pushing his human half to the point of breaking with every breath.

His friends helped him cultivate these sides of himself. Jim through kind words. Leonard with initial harsh behaviour, that he realised was his affection and watched it melt into true care and love. 

His heart panged at the thought of them, a pain he rarely let himself indulge in. There was little chance of seeing them again. Who knew how much time had passed for them? How old they'd be if he found a way to return home, an impossible feat, or if they'd even be alive?

There was even less of a chance of seeing Jim again. His research into finding him again had failed, even with the alternate technology he had at his disposal. There was no way to cheat death, especially one that happened in another world. They'd already done so with him and he didn't think it would be allowed a second time, or a third if you counted this universe's Jim.

He opened his eyes again. Meditation was meant to clear his head. But everything was too muddled lately to sort. He could feel the end coming. 

The skyline far away melded into the sky. Ships left and arrived from ports. Cars and trains with families all on their separated journeys. Infinite possibilities.

He turned his gaze to the grass springing up and spreading out away from the glass of the city. The growing season was coming. Flowers blooming, the sun on his face. Storms were frequenting the skies more often, the grounds soft and supple from the rain. 

He closed his eyes and smiled to himself as he felt the ache deep in his bones. Today was a good day to die.

"How old are you now?" A familiar voice pricked his ears. "And yet you can still cross your legs so wound up like that without pain?"

He opened his eyes. "Leonard." His husband.

"Who else is it gonna be?" 

He raised an eyebrow and took in what was most likely a hallucination. Leonard's hair was grey and hands worn, circa their encounter with the Klingons just before the Enterprise was decommissioned. Just before Jim went missing.

His red uniform was smooth, unwrinkled against his body. A look of mischief filled his eyes, a rare sight but a welcome one. He'd accept anything after all the years.

"You do realise that this isn't real, and therefore there is no point in conversing with you,"

Leonard feigned hurt with a hand on his heart, "I came here to give you a peaceful send-off and here I am being insulted by the man I call my husband,"

"The statistical probability of seeing you as a hallucination, in a much younger state than I left you in, is impossible, " 

"We have done many impossible things over the years,  and besides, the last time I knew, you don't have conversations with hallucinations," He crossed his arms and sat on the wall to a raised flower bed.

"What is your suggestion then?"

"I'm an angel, sent from God, to convince you to come along and die,"

"There are two faults with your proposal,"

"Two?"

"Yes, two," He said. "That is a very Christian focused theory, Leonard, and as you know my belief systems are of Surak's teachings and Judaism,"

"Last time I checked, Christians and Jews have an overlap in a religious book, our old testament, your Torah,"

Spock nodded.

"And ain't the story of Abraham in there, where he was told by God he was gonna have a kid of his own,"

"Yes, your point being?"

"And ain't the Exodus story, the one o' Moses, have God showing themselves to Moses to convince him to free the Jews,"

"These are theologically correct, Leonard, but I am still waiting for a point," He smiled again, he missed their debates.

"If those events happened in our religious books then what's saying it ain't happening right now, bringing me to you," 

"I didn't know you believed these tales so strongly, from what I believe these tales are to learn lessons from, not to take any literal meaning. And both of your examples were God showing themselves, and we both know you are not God," He looked at him. "Therefore you're not here."

"My second point was that I am ready to die, and God, being all-seeing, would know that," 

Leonard got off the wall. The look of mischief replaced by concern and love. Death had always been a sensitive subject for him. One of the most common disagreements was regarding Spock's longer lifespan. And it didn't matter how many times he told him that they could have a relationship just like any other, he knew he'd never let the subject go.

"I do have one more question," Spock continued. 

"What?"

"Your belief in angels, does it encompass the idea of the dead becoming them if they have lived good lives?"

The air wavered between them as their emotions poured into it. He thought they were both glad they knew some things without words.

"Yes,"

"Then that means that to get to me you must have died, which is counterintuitive to your plan of convincing me to die,"

"Why?"

He shuddered, his eyes filling with tears as his hands shook. "Why? Why do you think the knowledge that you died alone, without seeing me or having me by your side as you left this world,  would ease me into death?"

The image of a fragile Leonard, delirious from pain medication, calling for him with his dying breaths flashed to the forefront of his mind. He shook his head to rid himself of it but only made it clearer as the silence dragged on.

Leonard's face broke into a slight smile to ease him. He stepped towards him and reached his hands out to him.

"I knew you'd say something like that, so I want you to know I was at peace," He said. "After one hundred and eighty-three years, Spock, I was very fulfilled and welcomed it, just like your doing now," 

Their eyes locked and words ceased. Spock's head cleared, like all he needed was a conversation with him to clear up all the metaphorical mud in his head.

"Come home to me, Spock,"

And he did. Standing up from his position on the terrace and fitting perfectly into his arms like he always did. 

His hands traced the stubble on his chin as Leonard carded a hand through his hair, now black again due to his soul matching the time period. Their lips touched in a simple kiss and everything felt complete.

The sunrise dissolved away with the sounds of spring. And Spock was home once again in Leonard's arms.

And that's it! I got inspired by that scene in Beyond where AOS Spock saw a picture of the original crew and my angsty bittersweet brain got this question. How did Spock Prime die and how can I make that queer and peaceful?

I hope you enjoyed this, I enjoyed writing this!