#he is such an asshole/pos bro look at his eye

[bread-is-my-life]

I'm crying wdym I've been looking at this art for weeks and only now realised that I never reblogged this-

man i sure do hope tumblr doesn't EAT the QUALITY

anyway- STAAAAIIINN

@may-we-rest-well you know i have to tag you on this xd

inspiration was from my lovely friend's w.i.p. stain cosplay (the one i tagged)

[his cosplay of stain here]

sketch from my phoneEEEUGGHHE under da cut

drawing on phone is torture

[mickeyheartian]

Ian Galager

I've been looking for fics mentioning Mickey's tattoo of Ian's name, and haven't been able to find many. Also, I love fics mentioning Mickey's relationship with his siblings. So, I wrote this.

How Mickey's family find out about/react to his new tattoo.

Mandy

Mandy stares at Sandy, unsure if she just heard her cousin correctly.  They were sat in the Milkovich living room catching up.  Mandy had returned home two days ago to an empty house, shocked to see Sandy as the first to show up.  They hadn’t seen each other in years, and not just the past year that Mandy had been away.

"Mickey's home?" Mandy asks, looking at her in disbelief. "I thought he was in Mexico?"

"No, released from prison yesterday," Sandy informed her.

“Asshole!  Where is he?”

“Gallaghers.”

“Gallaghers?  Wait, Ian’s home too?”  Sandy nods in confirmation.  “The fuck!”

“Bitch you’re the one who fucked off, nobody knew where you were, how were we supposed to update you?” Sandy asked.

“Mick and Ian both had my number.”  She seethes, grabbing her purse from the couch and storming out of the house.

The walk to the Gallagher house was only a few blocks, the bitter morning air biting at her exposed arms.  She reached the front door and fumbled in the plant pot to the side, looking for the spare key that was kept there years prior.  Ian had shown her where it was in case she needed to get away from home for a bit.  She felt cold metal at her fingertips.  Bingo!  Still there.

Walking into the house, it was the same as it always had been.  Slightly more run down since she was last here, a few more stains on the floor.  But there was a distinct absence of people, the same thing she’d noticed with her own house.  She can’t have been gone that long… right?

She slowly climbed up the stairs, and upon reaching the top could hear her brother’s voice instantly.  “Your PO ain’t that bad, Red, just suck it up.  No one likes their PO.”  Mandy followed the sound of her brother’s voice over to the open accordion door, peering in.

Ian’s sat on the bed, frowning over at her brother, who sits smoking on the window.  Shirtless.  With Ian’s name unmistakably tattooed on his chest.  What? 

Before she figured out how she was going to play this, Ian spotted her.  “Mandy?” He asked, pulling himself up from the bed.  “Holy fuck!  It is you!”  He runs over and envelopes her in a hug.  “When did you get back?”

“Ian!” She smiles, returning the hug.  She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her best friend until he had his arms around her.  “When did I get back?  The fuck is going on with you. Blowing up a fucking van!” she hits him.  She’d read about Ian’s escapades in the newspaper when she’d been working at a small convenience store.

“The fuck are you doin’ here?” Mickey asks from the window.

“What the hell asshole!” she replies, removing herself from Ian and turning to him.  “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” Mickey shrugs.

“Hold up a second.  Firstly, what the fuck I haven’t heard from you in years!  You didn’t tell me you were out.”

“Bitch I’ve been in fuckin’ prison, then to Mexico and back in since I last heard from you.” Mickey retorts.

“Secondly,” Mandy continues, “is that Ian’s name on your chest?”

“Who the fuck else’s name would I have on my chest?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure ‘cause it’s not spelt right,” Mandy laughs.

“Already told him,” Ian tells her, laughing along with her and moving back to sit on the bed.

“Oh fuck off, the both of you.”

“Awww Mick!” Mandy smiles.  She turns to Ian, joining him on the bed.  “Never knew my brother could be such a softie.”

“OK.  Fuck off.  Time for you to leave.” Mickey grumbles.

Iggy & Colin

“’Ey, look who’s back from Mexico!” Iggy cheers as Mickey enters the Milkovich house.

“The fuck have you been, bro?” Colin asks, taking a sip from his beer.  Both of his brothers sat in the dimly lit living room, drinking beer with some action movie on in the background.  The house hadn’t changed in the years Mickey had been gone.  Still falling apart.  Still dirty.  Still full of idiots.

“Prison.  Mexico.  Prison.” Mickey says, slumping down on the sofa next to them.  He scrunches his nose.  “What stinks?”

“Colin’s decided showering is gay,” Iggy informs him.

“What the fuck?” Mickey shoots Colin a questioning look. Colin is about to explain, but Mickey holds up his hand.  “Nevermind.  I don’t wanna know.”

“Pro’ly hasn’t showered since you were here last,” Iggy laughs.

“He’s not been gone that long,” Colin says, lighting up a cigarette.

“The fuck?” Mickey asks, looking at his brother in complete disbelief.

“Nah man, he’s been gone a few months,” Iggy says.

“What the fuck!  I’ve been gone years shitheads!” Mickey shouts.

“Really?  Didn’t notice.”  Colin shrugs.

“Too busy gettin’ turned down by every girl at the Alibi,” Iggy laughs.

“Didn’t fuckin’ notice?” Mickey snaps.  “Fuckin’ idiots.”  He grabs the closest thing to him, the TV remote, and lobs it at Colin’s head.

“Fuckin’ asshole!” Iggy shouts, the remote completely missing Colin and hitting him in the head.  He jumps off the sofa, throwing himself on top of Mickey.

Mickey punches him before he can get a good punch in himself, the force causing them both to fall to the floor.  They scramble around on the floor like children until Colin steps in.

“You can’t come here and start shit, idiot!” He says, pulling Mickey up by his shirt.

“You’re the fuckin’ idiots!” Mickey retorts, thrashing against Colin.  He stops when he notices Colin’s face, idiocy replaced with disbelief and confusion. 

“What?”

“Gallagher?” Colin asks.

“What are you talking about?” Mickey asks.

“Ohhh!” Iggy taunts.  “Better make sure Pops don’t see that.”

Mickey looks down, noticing his tattoo on show, his vest having slipped when Colin grabbed him. 

“Wait.  Am I missing something?” Colin asks, letting Mickey back to the floor.

“Gallagher’s his boyfriend.”  Iggy shrugs.

“You’re a fag?” Colin asks.

“You didn’t know he was gay?”

“You’re a fag!”  Colin laughs.  “Oh my god.  And you got a guy’s name on your chest.  Oh my god!”  Colin breaks down into fits of laughter.

“What’s so funny, shitstain? Mickey asks, pulling his shirt back into place.

“You literally did the gayest thing you could do,” Colin gets out between laughs.  “Igg’s right, Pop’s is gonna kill you.”

“Not if you don’t fuckin’ tell him!”  Mickey knows his brothers are idiots, but he doesn’t think they’re that stupid.  “Also I’m sure taking it up the ass is the gayest thing I could do,” Mickey shrugs.

“Ew.  Gross!  You take it up the ass!” Iggy fake gags.

“Everything you say gets gayer,” Colin laughs.

“But you guys aren’t gonna tell him, right?” Mickey confirms.

“Yeah, yeah, little bro, your funeral,” Colin says, rubbing Mickeys hair like a child.

“How did you not know I’m gay?” Mickey asked.

“That ginger guy was living here for months, dude!” Iggy says, punching Colin in the arm.

“I dunno.  He was married.”

“And kissing a dude in the kitchen!”

“Nah he was married to a girl, man.”

Mickey shook his head, walking toward the kitchen in search of food.  Idiots.

Terry

“He’s gay Terry.  I’m gay.  People are gay.” Sandy says, bored of the conversation and getting up from the table where the Milkovich family are filing serial numbers off guns.

“Super gay,” Colin laughs.  Mickey shoots him a glare.  If he doesn’t shut the fuck up, he’s gonna have to kill him.

“You ain’t marrying a man.  Milkovich men marry vaginas.  Period!” Terry sneers.

“Not that big of a deal, he’s already got his name on his –” Colin says, Iggy quickly covering his mouth before he can finish.

Mickey covers his face with his hands.  He cannot comprehend the stupidity of his brothers right now.  What the fuck!

“He’s got what?” Terry asks, unnervingly calmly.

“Nothing.”  Colin says quickly.

“Yeah, definitely nothing.” Iggy confirms. 

Sandy shoots Mickey a worried glance.  He bites the corner of his lip, staying silent, telling himself to keep breathing.  Terry doesn’t know anything.

“Got his name where?” Terry asks again slowly, shooting a death glare across the table at Mickey.

“Don’t know what they’re talkin’ about Pops,” Mickey replies, praying that his brothers don’t say anything else stupid.  He shoots them both warning glares.

Terry moves to look over at Colin, who goes white.  “Nothin’ Pops, he don’t have nothin’ on his chest.”

Mickey stands still in complete disbelief for a second.  Before he can react, Terry stands, flipping over the table in anger, causing guns to fall to the floor in a loud crash.  He stalks over to Mickey, pulling down his shirt and seeing red.

Mickey shoves him off, and Terry lunges at him, gun still in hand, striking Mickey across the face with it.  Mickey sees stars.  It’s been a while since this happened.  He forgot the pain.  Terry’s got him pinned to the floor, unable to escape.

“Fuckin’ fag.  I’m gonna kill you!” he shouts, hitting Mickey across the head again.

Suddenly, the weight of Terry is gone, Sandy hanging from his back, Iggy, and Colin each holding one of his arms as he fights against them.

“Run!” Sandy shouts at him. 

Ian

Ian’s lying in bed when Mickey gets home, and the second he sees his boyfriend he can’t breathe.  “What happened?” he asks, jumping up off the bed to inspect the damage of Mickey’s face.  Two black eyes forming, a large gash on the side of his face and a split lip. 

“Terry,” Mickey mumbles, peeling off his blood-stained vest.

“You went home?” Ian asks.

“Yeah.”

“Not sure why you keep going back there,” he sighs, pulling his boyfriend toward the bed.  They lay down together, Mickey laying on Ian’s shoulder.

“He found out about the tattoo,” Mickey murmurs into Ian’s shoulder.

“What?  Mandy told him?”

“No.  No.  Stupid idiot brothers,” he sighs.

“Your brothers know about it?”

“Yeah.”  Mickey offers no explanation.

Ian traces his name across Mickey’s chest.  “You know, I love it,” Ian whispers to him.

“I love you,” Mickey mumbles, looking up and meeting Ian’s eyes.

“I love you, too.”

[prince-strife]

so i watched tenet (i thirsted over robert pattinson for 2 1/2 hours)

spoilers ig? it came out 4 years ago

not a fan of the torture 🫠

i’m getting gay vibes man idk

oh shit hi michael caine

if that wasn’t a kingsman reference i’ll eat my shoe

this girl is super pretty

the way i flinched when he brought the tenderizer down BLEGH i hated that

benedict cumberbatch?? (i don’t think it was but sure asf looked like his side profile)

rpatz 😩😩 god this bitch is so prettyyyy

he plays “beautiful rich asshole” so well omg //pos

the tiny waist, the scarf, the floppy hair…

“well not from the air 🙄”

not protag with the harry hart suit

they’re both so babygirl

oooh he’s got a master’s in physics love a man with a brain

some of this stuff is so vague and confusing but gbr i’m having fun so idrc

kenneth branagh???

did she just try to kill him? actually that’s so valid get him girlie

this movie is so long tho, i’ve still got an hour and a half

hm. gross

her pumps are cute

she’s not the smartest, is she 🤨

neil looks like leon kennedy omg

what is??? happening???

“that’s not fair :(((“

“let’s start with the simple stuff” yeah “simple” my ass

kissing neil on the mouth every time he makes a snarky comment

this is very much giving “i care about her bc you care about her and i care about you”

the sleepily mumbling about physics <33

“you’re bleeding :((“

the gas mask hello???

OHHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

that makes so much more sense now omg

the rest of this is still confusing tho, huh???

neil is hiding so much shit and i love that for him

“you’re not gonna tell me? 🥺” bro thinks he can just bat his pretty little eyes and get whatever he wants. (he’s right i would kill for him)

the glances??? 🤨🤨

oh they’re on different teams… i have a bad feeling about this

gbr i don’t get the vibe that neil was built for combat

lmaooo that pill won’t work

NOOOOO NEIL

“now let me go” screaming. sobbing. what the fuck

WAIT HOW LONG???

“we get up to some stuff” augh this is not ok

on one hand, at least he’s not dead-dead on the other hand HES FUCKEN DEAD

that was. a lot jfc. uhhhh 6/10 movie rpatz loml

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Adam awoke to the sound of whimpering.

Rising from his bed, he looked over to Jonah’s side of the room, his eyebrow creasing slightly being the only thing signalling his worry.

Jonah was trembling under his sheets, face twisted in fear even in sleep. A nightmare. Seemingly a really bad one, too.

Adam quickly made his way over, hesitating before placing his hand on the other’s shoulder.

In an instant, Jonah’s eyes snapped open and he backed away with a quiet cry of fear, pupils constricted in an adrenaline infused haze. Pushing himself into the corner of the wall, Jonah stared at Adam in pure terror, clearly not recognizing the person in front of him.

Taking in a deep breath, Adam spoke with a whisper. “Jonah.. It’s Adam.. you’re safe, it was just a nightmare, bro… you’re okay.. everyone’s okay..”

Jonah continued to stare, processing, before his eyes watered and he began to sob, mumbling incoherent apologies as he leaned forward. Carefully, the blond went closer, letting out a small “oof” when the other slammed into his chest, wrapping his trembling arms around Adam in a hug.

For a few seconds, Adam sat frozen, before he then returned the embrace. Rubbing Jonah’s back and rocking slightly, he continued to mumble small comforts of “you’re alright” and “everyone’s safe”.

The sound of steps approached, and the blond’s soft gaze turned sour as he felt his friend tremble more at the noise.

Creaking signalled the door opening, and Adam gave a hateful glare to the asshole who’d opened the door, it only intensifying when he saw it was Seth. Not the fucking time, Nutcase.

Seth thankfully left, closing the door, and Adam returned his focus to Jonah, informing him it was just one of the others and that nothing was going on, nothing was wrong. 

Eventually, Jonah calmed down, simply leaning against Adam as he sniffled with an occasional shudder. Awkwardly, the blond pat the others silver hair as he whispered. “Feelin’ better?”

Jonah nodded, snuggling closer with a tired yawn. Adam couldn’t blame him, it was pretty early. “You can go back to sleep if you’re tired, Jo..”

In response, the man in question just tightened his grip on Adam’s shirt, and the blond sighed, shifting to lean back against the wall with Jonah still in his arms. 

He didn’t really mind Jonah clinging to him like a koala. It was harmless, and besides, it made his brother feel better. 

That was all Adam needed to know.

[I am so normal about bps bros you gotta believe me- /lh]

THE GUYSSS /pos

So normal about them. Very much so

[simping-for-kamski]

So the rundown is:

62% of respondents are rabid Gavin fans

100% of respondents do not need Gavin for sexual gratification

11% of respondents don't give a damn about Gavin or who he is

A whooping 30% of respondents don't get the dude bro hype

This was actually pretty hilarious :D And nice to see that we folks who don't like Gavin, however scattered we are in the fringe of the rat man imperium, are still more numerous than we might seem. And not alone.

My take - the backstory~

Well, I didn't start out hating Gavin. In fact, a Reed900 fanmovie on YT is what got me into DBH at all. I thought "holy shit, I want to be in a fandom that makes such amazing content" so, kudos to you Reed900 fans.

So I watched a playthrough and was MINDBLOWN over the fact that there were OTHER characters than Connor, Hank and Gavin. I legit did not expect Markus and Kara and all the characters in their stories. I thought it was going to be Connor and Hank bromance in a vacuum.

So, 5 days fresh into the fandom, only having watched that Reed900 movie and an "Everybody Lives" 6h playthrough, I started writing a fic called Gardengate that would turn into 270k of deep lore plot and praised for its characterization. It even has Gavin in it.

But as months went by, I felt like all I saw everywhere was "fucking Gavin Reed again" and it bothered me so much. But why? I see iterations of Connor all the time too (and yes, I think Connor is a bit overrated too). I sure wish I'd see more of Leo who also is a racist, hot-tempered, disrespectful, brash raccoon boy kinda character like Gavin (with much better looks, and witty lines).

And that's when it started to grate on me. Why all the obsession for Gavin when Leo, a much-more developed and intriguing character is RIGHT THERE. Wanna hook up him with Connor? Have him get interviewed, interrogated, arrested, be an informant, anything! Wanna hook him with RK900? Give Markus a bodyguard! But no. No, fandom wasn't looking for that. Gavin and RK900 are those minor non-characters that can be plied into whatever fanon fandom wants to create for them.

And that's where my irk starts

To me, Gavin is a spinoff fandom of his own, and I'm not into that fandom. I'm into DBH. Then why am I more tolerant of RK900, who I also view as a spinoff fandom? Well.

Gavin is a bully. An ugly, dumb, pos. He doesn't have an agenda, he's just a basic dudebro with a self-confidence inversely proportional to his non-existing self-insight. You can't write him in an enemies-to-lovers dynamic because he's not anyone's enemy, just a nothing with a foul mouth. It's bully-to-lover at best and as someone who's been bullied by small hormonal versions of him, it's just yikes to me.

I know these people don't grow soft or sweet on you just by proximity. They don't open their eyes one day and realize you're a person, because they don't have to. They're already in power, they want to keep that power, and they have zero interest in not keeping you down.

At this point I'm lowkey regretting to have included Gavin in Gardengate because I'm so tired of him. It's complicated. I'm normally really good at having fifty different versions of a same character and acknowledging they're not the same, letting them have different dynamics and relationships—here Kamski and Chloe are siblings, here they're friends, here they're lovers, etc.

But Gavin is the face of "Assholes Won"

Gavin makes me feel like those times I tried to emulate popular art styles and ended up heart-broken over the art pieces I created no longer feeling like "me". In the end, Gavin puts me face to face with the fact that as an autistic Queer person, I've always been scared of the majority and always sided and been drawn to the minorities and niches, where I could usually be safe from the dominant norm people.

Anything that is popular squicks me, the way popular kids who bullied me squicked me. I've had this in every fandom—I always simp for the resident mad scientist, ship rarepairs and dodge the popular ships and fanon stuff.

But Gavin burns me like no one else because he's a bully, and to me, it feels like taking your local nazi ugly douchebag and attempting to tone him down and redeem him by prettifying him on FaceApp, turning him gay for autistic dick and having the cute autistic boy thirst for that not-a-nazi-ugly-douchebag dick. EW YIKES.

So there. END OF THE FUCKING ESSAY shit that was long lol nobody gonna read that

Feel free to reblog and write entire essays about why you love, hate or don't care much about him!

(Just remember nobody's wrong for loving or hating a character, or for having a different interpretation of them than you do! Be kind!)

[dcjokerhs]

My idea of What would happen if Izuku was a Girl.

(though there's gonna be a li'l bit of side-sauce to keep it close to canon, little disclaimer here for that)

People say Katsuki's going to be a great Hero for standing up for Izu, because "she's a little Quirkless angel! She does so well in her classes and looks so adorable!"

But on top of that she's going to get put on the side at pe, the bullies are still going to be assholes, but you're also going to get shady shit about people saying she's got crushes on random guys just for looking at them, or say "she acts innocent but she's a whore".

Not to mention ALL MIGHT. THE BLATANT SEXISM!

Though Izu still gets ofa because All Might is really reminded of Nana because Izu gets her hair straightened once a month by the same people who style her mother's hair and if Inko looks like Nana but Pudgy Angel? Izuku's the spitting image of her.

(This both helps and hinders... We'll get there in a sec, don't you worry.)

So Katsuki is actually more respectful and, tbh, a little scared of Izuku in this AU: his mother and his "Auntie Inko" are Undeniably Queens so he's like "I don't fully believe you'll be able to be a Hero but you're my sis so I'll kinda support you, but also I've seen you get angry, so I probably believe a bit [a lot] more."

Izuku's a girl, who's had to handle bullies, she freezes at the gate, but as soon as she's going in? She's In GO GO GO MODE!

(though then she breaks her arm and leg with ofa and Katsuki's the one with the immediate answer of "it's be from all that training you were doing after school leading up to the exam! Of course I noticed, Dekizu, you're my sister!" Before walking her home, as Ochako's still wanting to offer some of her points because she'd heard that Izu thinks she hasn't got any points.)

You think Inko doesn't know what's happening with her baby? Hah! Izu and Inko have That Bond, so Inko helps Izu tell Katsuki, because they both know All Might, for all of his intelligence and focus, can miss The Most Obvious Stuff.

So, UA. Tenya apologises, they still become friends, but he's also a bit more chivalrous towards her and, well...

M*neta is kicked by at least Lunchtime because he's So Clearly trying to eye up Izu's skirt because she's sat in front of him

If not, Katsuki goes Big Bro Mode when he hears M*neta intentionally dropping his stationary just to peer up skirts. This is Bakugo Family Sibling Mode, the only reason he lets M*neta go is Izuku saying a very clear, very soft "Katsuki, let him go, the teachers can handle it."

Aizawa Does Handle It: With Expulsion and A Record.

(I sleep so well at night knowing M*neta will Get No Ladies, at all.)

AND HERE'S WHERE THAT "LOOKS LIKE NANA" STUFF CAUSES STUFF.

Because Tomura! Sees Izuku! And both immediately proclaims her a pos, but also is like "Of course she had Another Family, if I kidnap you, I could wreak that family."

Thank God Kurogiri's there to go "Hon, we've got no time for that" and yeets him outta there.

This Becomes A Theme.

Sports Fest goes similarly, but Tenya's so flustered facing Ochako, Izu, Mei and Fumikage as Fumikage is like "guys, I'm gay, this is not the start of a harem", like that one picture of the dude on the cheerleading team surrounded by the cheerleaders.

Also No Grapist, No Cheerleading.

(srsly Denki is friends with a Slightly-Sis-Con Katsuki, anyone who thinks he'd try getting someone to help pull that? Even if he was supposedly as bad as M*neta, KATSUKI.)

(srsly, even if I'm not 100% fond of Canon!Katsuki, not only is Fandom!Katsuki usually better, All Katsuki Versions CHUG that Respect Women Juice.)

Also Tenya has a crush.

Anything else I can think of?

...sports, internships... Stain definitely has some kind of Lady Respect Juice...

OH!

Torino's also like "Nana?" But calls Izu "Young Lady?" When they meet.

Also Katsuki Clearly looks to/at Izu when thinking about anything, so the League's like "two birds one stone"... Yeah.

Also AFO wants to meet Izu and I'd Adore some Darth Vader "Ur my kid" stuff but Press X To Doubt.

Regardless, AFO is caught and All Might Retires.

(ToshInko??? Nah. Well? Maybe? Depends how much Toshi saw Nana as a mum.)

Anyway: stuff's basically pretty much the same, but for the low-key sexism and the fact End-a-W* probably would be pushing Shouto towards Izu which means those two end up with more of a sibling bond, like Katsuki and Izuku, because That Guy Really POURS HIS JUICE DOWN THE DRAIN!

(Anything else?...

Nah. I'm an All-Izu's-Age×Izu shipper usually, so idk what pairings we'd really end up with, LOL.)

[abbatoirablaze]

The Lunch Shift

Word Count:  1.2k

Warnings:  Sexual tension, mentions of sexual acts, fluff.

The bell dinged and I made my way out of the kitchen to serve the next table.

"Shit."

"Shit," I repeated, copying his actions. I kept a straight face as my ex, and his MC walked into the diner and began to seat themselves.  I walked over to them with my notepad, "Michael."

"I didn't know you worked here," he sighed holding his hands up in a defensive position, "I swear."

"I know," I said, forcing a laugh as I licked my lips, "Uncle Che wouldn't ever give you warning. He'd be more inclined to watch you get frazzled like you are right now..."

"Che knew you worked here?"

I nodded as Che gave me an amused wave from the next table with Bishop and Tranq, "he came in here last week with Coco."

"That asshole."

I sucked on my cheeks and watched as Creeper and Gilly fell into his booth. Bish, Tranq, and Che sat at the booth beside them, and Angel, a new guy, and Coco sat at the far end.

"And what can I get you boys?"

"A slice of you would be nice," Angel joked two booths down.  I rolled my eyes as he send a wink my way. Raising my brow, I turned my attention back to everyone else who ordered quickly.

"You like science?" the new guy asked by the time I got to him. He nodded over to my pile of homework from class where I set down my phone charger that my uncle brought in for me. There was an open book currently sitting on the counter, on physics.

I nodded, "I'd hope so if it's my major. What can I get you?"

"She is a theoretical physics major," my uncle smiled proudly, "my baby niece is smart, right?"

I nodded again and he smiled, "my baby niece won't fall for your shit, boy scout, so don't try it..."

"Theoretical physics," the new guy said, only half paying attention to Taza, "so is there any part of it that catches your interest?"

"Why are you so curious, biker boy?" I asked.

"No reason," he said with a shrug, "just...curious, I suppose."

"Boy scout is a genius," Coco said, jumping in, "knows all kinds of crazy shit."

"Can I get a coffee sweetheart?" Tranq asked, "gotta make a run tonight."

"Me too!" Bish asked.

"No shit," I laughed, walking off. I was feeling lazy so instead of walking around the counter I bent over it, and grabbed two coffee cups. I could vaguely hear a few of the guys talking about my ass, "perverts."

"I'd love to be bending her ov-shit oww," one of them hissed. They had been slapped pretty heavily across the back of the head. When I turned around Angel was holding his head.

"She's not a whore," Tranq hissed, "Treat her with respect.  She's family.  So, you don't get to objectify her as a whore."

I smiled as I set the cups down in front of him and Bishop then turned to his table and rubbed the side of his face, "I know I have a great body...and yes, my ass is part of that Angel. But I'm not interested.  I learned my lesson on fuckboys with Riz."

With that I walked back to the POS system and entered the food orders. I could hear a few of the guys laughing and giving him a hard time.

"I'm not a fuckboy, sweetheart," Angel smirked, "but I could make you feel amazing, princessa...all I need is a shot."

"It's nothing personal..." I said coming back and sitting at the table with him, "I'm just not into you...plus, I'm  already in a relationship."

"Well I bet I could get you to leave him," he said with a cocky smile, I'm very useful in a number of ways."

I closed my eyes and tried to hold back laughter, "so sweet of you to say...but I'm not leaving my significant other for you."

The bell dinged and I looked up, a giant smile coming across my face. She didn't see me in the corner with the MC. She made her way to the counter and hit the bell. I excused myself as she buried her face in the menu. She knew I was working right now.

"What can I get started for you?"

"Well a kiss for starters," she giggled, practically bouncing in her seat. I looked over her to see that the MC hadn't noticed who she was.

"You really want to do that?" I whispered, "your brother is over there with his club."

"Fuck em," she said with a smirk, "so do I get my kiss...orrrrrr do I have to stab you with a screwdriver."

"I swear," I said, shaking my head at my girlfriend, "you have the weirdest fascination with screwdrivers."

"Can you blame me for it?  They're useful," she laughed, dropping her menu. She motioned for me to come to her side of the counter and sit beside her. I stood in front of her, and she widened the space between her legs, pulling me closer by my apron. When I was between her legs, she smiled and put her hands in my back pocket, grabbing my ass, "you know, I'm really glad you spent the night last night."

"I'm just glad Celia wasn't there," I said, my cheeks burning as I thought about last night, "we were both a mess of moans."

She shrugged, "I'm glad I have you in my life."

"I'm glad you're in mine too," I said simply. She cupped my chin and pulled my face towards her. My eyes fluttered closed as her soft lips pressed against my own. I felt her hand slide into my back pocket again, but she put something in it. When she pulled away she bit her bottom lip. I cocked my head to the side, "what's that?"

"That," she said with a smile, "Is my paperwork to get my GED. I need you to hold onto it though, so Celia doesn't find out. Is that okay?"

I nodded, and began to laugh, "you didn't have to be all secretive about it."

"Maybe I just wanted to grab your ass again."

I rolled my eyes at my girlfriend, and she bit her lip again. I shook my head and made my way to leave as the cook called the order up for the guys. But she grabbed my apron again and I raised my brow at her, "yes Miss. Cruz?"

"One more kiss."

"ORDER UP," the cook yelled again. This time a few of the guys looked over and Letty smirked.

"One more kiss," she said deviously as her hands reached below my shirt and drew patterns on my hips, "then I'll let you go."

"Leticia?" Coco asked.  My eyes looked over to him, and he raised a brow, "what the hell are you doing, Letty?"

"Shit," I muttered, biting my lip, "You want your brother and all his friends to see this?"

"Hey Coco," she said, not looking to face him.  She nodded her head at me, her voice getting a little lower, "I wouldn't mind anyone seeing what we got...hell I wouldn't have cared if they saw me last night with my head between your thighs."

I blushed, "Letty."

"I mean it..." she mumbled as her hands gripped onto my hips.  When I went to move, she shook her head, her grasp never wavering.

"Still want that kiss?" I whispered.

"You bet your sweet ass I do," she said quickly, pulling my face to hers again, "come here, Romero."

Damn you Leticia Cruz.

[peculiar-shardscape]

you said you wanted some comfort headcanons but im not sure what you mean by that- so i'm assuming like- hold on let me type some of my favorite out, this is VERY , VERY long

Ulipse has freckles in the formation of stars, when Cyalm gets sleepy he likes to trace them - Ulipse gets easily flustered, Cyalm could put his hand on their cheek and Ulipse would have such a gay panic and Cyalm thinks its very amusing to watch (when Ulipse gets unreasonably angry Cyalm just gives them a 'mwa' and Ulipse breaks, stops speaking, gone. /pos) - Cyalm and Ulipse both drink coffee sometimes, when they do they share the same mug - Ulipse is very afraid of spiders, very very afraid. Cyalm kills them and Ulipse won't let go to them for the day and Cyalm keeps having to give them kisses just so they won't freak out at the slightest shadow moving - me; Cyalm is very sophisticated and very complicated person, he is cryptic and his morals are unknown yet are known at the same time, he speaks in hushed whispers and riddles. also me; he says pogchamp and awkwardly flirts with random people when nervous. ex; somebody, crying their eyes out cylam: ayo bro, you doing uhh, y-you, uhhhh, you doing pog? ulipse: cyalm: ulipse: cyalm: i DONT know how to deal with emotions you cannot look at me like that. - Either Cyalm knows everything or doesn't know anything, choose your pick. - They try to be serious when threatening eachother but when one of them starts to laugh the other starts laughing too - Ulipse likes fluffy things, Cyalm often gives them plushie and Ulipse goes batshit crazy /pos - "hey bitch i know this is a lot to ask of you but if you could take out-" "don't worry, i got it taken care of, who do you want gone?" "...the....trash" - The first time they met Ulipse hates Cyalm because "they're so pretty this is unfair." and Cyalm won't let go of it ("Awww, you think I'm pretty?") -

cylam : threatens kithy uplise : nah he faking cylam : does the kithy uplise : KITHY?? - Cyalm's hands are cold, Ulipse's hands are warm, put the pieces together :] - Ulipse, in a mocking tone: You love me, you just want to hug and kiss me! Cyalm: walks over and leans in like he's going to kiss him Ulipse: stops talking Cyalm: takes a bite out of a candy bar and walks away (Ulipse then proceeds to tackle him and demand kisses) - They like making flowercrowns for eachother with their favorite flowers :) - Dresses. They love dresses. Cyalm has the more short silky strawberry dress while Ulipse has the more long, fluffy/flowy space dress. - If they ever had a challenge to not be gay for each other, they would lose in the first three seconds - Cyalm has little to no self preservation while Ulipse does, this results in Ulipse having to wrangle Cyalm into not doing something dumb - They would rip somebody guts out and then make out over the dead body /hj - Cyalm keeps pronouncing things wrong on purpose to piss off Ulipse, Ulipse shuts them up with a kiss - Cyalm: You know who I hate? Ulipse: very tiredly: Me? Cyalm: No- well I mean, yes, but also my dad Ulipse: Ulipse: You have a dad? Cyalm: Yes, and he's an asshole.

dxbskhsksb this was pretty late bit these headcanons are still good

Thing is, whenever I’m having a whole fit, I usually ask for like. Comfort stuff to help me feel better. I usually need it asap because otherwise I have incredibly bad intrusive thoughts lribskdhs comfort headcanons are usually just soft headcanons and shit yeah

I’m okay-ish now. My breakdown happened last night but eh idk

[tellywoodtrash]

sanjivani 16.10.19 lb

OH SHIT SID HAS A BROKEN SHAADI IN HIS PAST!!?!?!!!! WHUTTTTTTT?!?!??! COZ OF HIS NAAJAAYAZ-NESS??? WHO WAS THE GIRL??? DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???? OMG YEH KYA BOMB PHENKA HUMARE UPARRRRRR?!?!

oh sis, this lipstick is not working for you in this light. it makes you look like a corpse.

asldkjldkjsaldjlaskdjla i am sorry but this is fucking hilarious man hahahahaha, what an idiottttttttt this girl is. 

sid is a much better human being than i am, coz he got concerned and moved to help her, instead of instantly bursting into laughter.

forceful face hardening. jab dil abhi bhi bada hi softtttttttt hai.

haaye, woh bhi kya din tha. aur yeh ek aaj ka din hai. sigh.

"yeh kaanch ki deewar hamesha rahegi humare beech. hamesha."

"yeh kaanch ki deewar, isse main humare beech patthar nahi banne doongi. main jaankar rahoongi ki aapko hua kya hai, dr. sid."

lord. y'all not even a couple yet and you already need hardcore couple's therapy.

"i'm sorry ishani, meri badkismati ke saaye se mujhe tumhe door rakhna hoga."

OH SIDDHU. YOU SILLY BEAN, THERE'S NO BADKISMATI KA "SAAYA" AROUND YOU. YOU ARE THE SUNNNNNNNN, BABY. *hugs him tightest, clinging to him like a baby koala bear on the back of its mom*

but just in case there is, mais suggests you contact the female lead of yehh jadu hai jinn ka coz she seems to have some kinda saaya repelling expertise.

do pal ruka khwabon ka kaaaaaaarwaaaaan, aur phirrrrrrr chal diye, tum kahaan hum kahaaaaaaan.....

it's kinda endearing how jiggy's adopted ishani as bff. honestly, there is no one purer than jignesh in this whole damn show. protecc him 4ever.

oh god, i can't watch this. i can't. it's too gross. and anyway i already saw the scene sayantani put up on insta.

I AM ACTUALLY ANGRY???????????? ANJALI IS SO HOT AND ACCOMPLISHED AND DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS THUMB LOOKING FUCKER, WHO IS ALSO SOME KINDA ACCESSORY TO MURDER (AMONG OTHER UNSAVOURY SHIT.)

also the abrupt cuts between very close moments and the bits where she's pushing him away making snarky smile are confusing me. are the close bits his imagination? ok either way, gross, fwding.

from one gross relationship to another icky one. ouff, give me a break showwwwwwwww. i want to see my baby doctors (any of them, at this poiint; not just sid/ishani.)

"wife ne kyun choda aapko?" lmao, direct to the point.

"kya faraq padta hai? meri beti mere paas hai aur woh mujhse bohut pyaar karti hai."

oh ho. there's that bit of backstory solved.

anjali sympathising with vardhan's daughter.

lmao she's like a dog with a bone.

ofc, work pressure nahi samjh paayi waala excuse. couldn’t possibly be coz you’re clearly a POS insaan huh????

HEY MAN COULD YOU STOP FEELING HER UP LIKE THIS DURING A CONVO???? THAT TOO ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE?!

"har aadmi mere paas bas ek hi cheez ke liye aata hai." anjali isn't here for your bs, vardhan.

and no it's not sex. it's access to her dad. this poor girl has sooooooooo many different facets of daddy issues, it's not even funny anymore.

he needs to stop jerking her around. it's not as romantic as he thinks it is.

also lmao he’s like idk about others, but i don’t want that from you. i don’t even like your dad.

oh anjali, no. don't make this face for thisssssss dude.

I HATE YOU. DIE.

bechaara rahil is stuck between ensuring mamu is dropped home safely and figuring out what the fuck is wrong with sid suddenly.

alllll those extra shaadi waali lightein you ppl plugged in overloaded the circuits. IN A DAMN HOSPITAL. let’s hope there’s no one on life support today.

oh god ab inka "romance" dekhna padega. yaaaaaarrrrrrr. I WANTED HOT ANDHERE MEIN ROMANCE FOR SID ISHANI. NOT THESE TWO!

man you ppl keep framing this relationship as rooted in "izzat" but like........ it doesn't feel very respectful.

oufffff spit it out shashank. do you want to bone her or not????? that's all we need to know here rn. i don't care about the izzat and dosti and falaana dimkaana. IS THIS ROMANTIC LOVE, OR FUCKING NOT? jesusssssssss.

"haan juhi, main tumse pyaar karta hoon."

OK I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THO. COZ YOU FRAMED IT AS SOME KINDA PURE UNSEXUAL ROMANTIC LOVE AND.... I'M JUST CONFUSED. I MEAN I GET THE CONCEPT OF NON-SEXUAL ROMANTIC LOVE, I'M JUST CONFUSED AT THE WAY THIS SHOW IS CHOOSING TO FRAME IT HERE, IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS PARTICULAR RELATIONSHIP. IS SHASHANK DECLARING HIMSELF TO BE ASEXUAL? (UNLIKELY, CONSIDERING HOW MANY BACHCHE HE HAS RUNNING AROUND THE PLACE AT ANY GIVEN TIME IN THE MANY ITERATIONS OF THIS SHOW, MOST OF WHICH WEREN’T PLANNED.) BUT THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THIS DYNAMIC WORKS. MAKE A DECISION, SHOW. WHAT IS THIS FUCKING RELATIONSHIP????????

and what are we to make of juhi who was all smiley at the dosti and izzat part  of the convo, and keeps getting upset and cagey when he says "pyaar"??!?!?

ohohohohoh how the turntables. time for him to hound her for an answer.

lmao well. there’s your answer.

ok???????? why this random shot of anjali's shadow?

lmao was it really necessary for all the attendees to change outfits too? literally only the bride and groom and their fam needed to.

shashank bana siddhu. while siddhu is off bemoaning his phooti kismat somewhere. iss sab ke liye mujhe wait karwaaya itna iss episode ke liye????? ugh.

THE ONLY TWO I REALLY CARE AND STAN FOR IN THIS SHOW FILLED WITH CONFUSING IDIOTS. PURE, FLAWLESS, SASS BOIS.

lmao rishabhhhhhhhhhh man, where's your mumbai ka best pandit?????/ YOU'RE mumbai's best pandit??????

asha still upset about ishani's breakdown i guess.

awwww, sid's walking jessie down the aisle!

oh shit, while having bad shaadi flashbacks. hang in there baby, hangggg in there.

SHE CALLED HIM HER BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! ACTUAL TEARS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao @ rishabh getting huffy at that. i can't tell if i love or hate this petty asshole.

"main marrrr rahi hoon!!!!!"

"arre main apne dulhe ko dekhne ke liye marr rahi hoon yaaar."

this is exactly the kinda gallows humour i would keep doing in a sitch like this and i fucking love jessi for being a Dramatic Bitch like me.

here comes the groom. with his bestieeeeeeee.

the rejection phobia is mega real with this one. never thought we'd see anyone more fucked up by it than sonakshi rastogi, but here we are.

but also sid, how do you look at a girl like THIS and then act surprised when ppl tell you that you’re in love with her?????

yeah try to avert your eyes all you want bro, you gonna wife her eventually.

rahil and asha are every sidisha shipper rn; dying on the inside from the.......

OMG THEY'RE THE ACTUAL CUTEST. CAN THE SHOW JUST BE ABOUT THEM????? COZ LIKE.... THAT'S A SHOW I WANNA WATCH RN. PURE SUPPORTIVE MADLY IN LOVE BABIES GETTING THROUGH LIFE, CANCER BE DAMNED.

LOLOLOLOLOL SO WE'RE REALLY GETTING ZERO EXPLANATION TO ME WHY RISHABH'S THE PANDIT THO????????

oh babeeee.

vardhan is me. KISKA ROMANCE DEKHNE KO SHURU KIYA MAINE SHOW, AUR KISKA NAIN-MATAKKA DEKHNA PADH RAHA HAI. BHAKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

sid. hon. stay strong.

ah shit. maybe melt a little. see how she's crying cozza you! come on, man! 

why repeating the “badkismati ka saaya” dialogue from before???? ouff what a hodgepodge fuckingggggg mess this ep was.

———————————————————————

blah blah two of them and their opposing zidds, we all know ishani gonna eventually win anyway.

[razberryyum]

Positive Things about Guardian as a series (spoilers)

So I’ve been pretty harsh about the production team behind Guardian (writers, directors, set designers, wardrobe, the crew…including the extras…basically anyone who are not Bai Yu, Zhu Yilong, the actors who played Old Chu, Little Guo and Zhu Hong, who are Jiang Ming Yang, Xin Peng and  Gao Yu Er, respectively) and about the quality of the show as a whole when it doesn’t involve our main characters/leads, and I’ve actually been feeling bad about that now that the initial sense of shock has worn off a little. As a result, I woke up this morning and decided to make a list of all things that are GOOD about the show. Now, I am still hurting about how it ended and the things that went wrong which imho could have easily NOT (f.e. the 10,000 years dirt nap), but…BUT I will try my best NOT to let that negativity seep into this. 

So here goes, in no particular order, the positive things about the show:

- the show even exists. I mean, really, God bless, especially considering where it’s made. How did that even happen?? Despite all my bitching, I still marvel (almost DAILY so far) at the fact that Guardian exists and I got to watch it cuz China could’ve easily never put it back online. 

- the existence of Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. But that’s pretty much a given. Especially since my life is forever changed because of them.

- every Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan scene together. That’s a given also. I would not be surprised if the writers literally used all their meager talent and energy on constructing those moments so that’s why they didn’t have much juice left for everything else. I mean, that’s a good thing, right? Kinda.

- they got Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong to play Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei. I really hope the two actors got compensated well for their performances, though somehow I doubt it, especially since, from what I understand ZYL (omg I just stupidly realized the acronym for his name is the same as Zhao Yunlan’s. Wtf that is so cute!) was still very slowly rising in the ranks. But hopefully their current popularity as a result of the show has made up for it.

- the score and songs. Bought the OST from iTunes like one or two episodes in, loved the score and themes. I even bought Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong’s duet “Time of Flight” a few times (different platforms, different devices) cuz I just wanted to contribute to them…even though…who knows if they even see a cent from it, and pretty sure my few measly dollars probably isn’t helping anything. Probably just makes me seem stupid and insane. 

- the cute episode titles. Which I wasn’t even aware of until @avenuex123 pointed it out. Adorable.

- the censorship. Ok, censorship is never good imo, but in this singular case, perhaps because there were existing restrictions on the BL subject matter, the actors therefore were willing to sign on since they knew they didn’t have to do anything explicit (or maybe they would’ve been willing, this is just my own stupid assumption because of how Chinese society is…I say that as an Asian American with many…erm…”old-fashioned” friends and family members) AND they probably saw it as challenge to find creative ways to convey the nature of the characters while working within the confines of censorship laws. Although, this might be a case of me just trying to look on the bright side.

- the easter eggs. I agree with fellow Guardian fans who have pointed out that there was some love put into the making of this show, which is clearly exemplified in the small momentos scattered throughout the series. 

- the time travel concept. Not that the delve into the past was done well because I did have problems with it, but I did really appreciate the fact that Zhao Yunlan was the one and only all along due to his being sucked up into the wormhole and spit back out 10,000 years in the past to meet Shen Wei for the first time. I thought it was a tremendously romantic idea…even if the general execution of the past left a lot to be desired. I promised that I wouldn’t be negative, but I still have to say that while love at first sight is a lovely notion, it was still a bit hard to swallow that SW would fall SOOOO head over heels with ZYL after just conversing with him for like a few hours, to the point that he would pine for him for 10,000 years (though it’s probably technically more like a few decades due to his dirt nap, but I’ll buy it felt like 10K years to him). I just wish ZYL spent more time in the past with SW, and actually @xparrot‘s fic (”Now Lie In It" on AO3) made me feel a LOT better about the whole thing since they successfully fixed the problem by awesomely separating each scene we saw into days and years. But I did like the time travel idea; it was cool, even though it’s different from the novel.

- the nature of the necklace. I really liked the candy wrapper core. Broke my heart into bits and pieces in a GOOD way. Really loved everything about it. I understand it’s different in the novel as well, but in the context of the changes done for the show, I thought that was a pretty brilliant move. 

-  the Da Qing and ZYL ownership scene in episode 35 with SW listening. Loved that scene and the multiple purposes it was serving: establishing Da Qing’s relationship with ZYL, giving voice to how SW was feeling about ZYL leaving,   inspiring SW with the necklace idea, and then of course, the censorship workaround because it was like very homo while being nohomo at the same time. 

- SW and ZYL’s wardrobe. Probably a given since the fact that I love them means I love everything about them, but, like, SW even looked good as the Black Cloak Envoy and ZYL as Kunlun and those outfits (and their hairstyles) could’ve gone wrong so easily…thank God no one thought it was a good idea to make them wear a stupid looking afro wig or feathers on their heads.

- Old Chu/Little Guo. They were adorable, my second OTP from the show, and I was seriously jealous of all the PDA they were getting away with.

- recurring characters. Even though some of their acting abilities were highly questionable, I did appreciate how certain characters introduced in the beginning of the show would pop up again later on. I’m sure a good part of that was to save on hiring more people, but I still thought it was neat. For example, I wasn’t too fond of the merit brush dude (cuz his story was dumb and draggy), but I did like how this innocuous store owner that was little more than a background character at the start eventually became one of the villains. 

-  Ye Zun. He’s so CUTE. I mean, ok, Zhu Yilong playing him helped, but just seriously, his character is so fucked up and misguided and emo and adorable that I just wanted to give him a big hug all the time. When that shitty cockatoo he calls “Boss”** started smacking him around, I wanted to reach into the screen and throttle that ugly POS. I wouldn’t even be surprised if that asshole more than physically abused Ye Zun. Anyway, I just felt bad for the little puppy. I wish we got to spend more time with him and that he got redeemed earlier so that he could enjoy some love and hugs before being led into the wormhole (or…wherever it was that his big bro was heading off with him…wait, would it be the wormhole? But they died, right? So technically it should be like the reincarnation hole?) **(btw, why “Boss”? Why not “Leader”? Are the head villains paying their henchmen to follow them? So weird that they call their leaders “boss” which would imply they’re being paid wages which I truly doubt is the case)

- Da Qing. He’s a cutie too. Really wish the kitty girl had lived so that he wouldn’t be all alone, now that ZYL is gone. I guess Tech boy Lin Jing is going to take care of him now?  

- Zhu Hong. When she wasn’t inexplicably screaming her dialogue, I did like her…but a huge part of that is probably because I remember the actress from Yanxi Palace (she was playing a small villainous role but she did a good job) and I felt sorry for her. Putting the unrequited love aside, it must also be tough seeing ZYL now and yet knowing that’s not even the same guy she loves at all. Damn, that actually must be so unsettling for everyone who knew the old ZYL. 

-  the personality swap episode (ep 25). THAT was freaking adorable. Just wish it lasted longer and that eventually it affected SW and ZYL. Although, since they already eye-fuck each other like 99% of the time, what would be different? I guess SW would be a little looser…and ZYL would be a bit more sad and pining-er? (Btw, I literally never heard of the word “microexpressions” until Zhu Yilong entered my life). Omg, an image of them switching outfits just popped into my head. Oh shit, that would’ve been FUN to see. Dammit.

That’s all I could come up with for now…I’ll probably add more as I think of more things. Please feel free to contribute if you think of positive things I’ve left out. I might not agree but I’d still love to hear them.

[dragonindigo245]

Project [REDACTED]

Heyo!!! This is a WIP story I'm doing with the amazing @pawton-meowity! Hope you enjoy! The odd numbered chapters will be posted on their Tumblr while the even ones will be on mine. Feel free to request to be added to the tag list for updates! Thanks! 💙🖤💙

Tw: Remus being Remus, blood

————

Chapter 6: P.O.V of Remus

“Oh! Remus! Heya kiddo!”

I turned my attention away from my fidget cube and turned my head towards the voice. Patton was next to the bench I was sprawled across with a smile on his face.

“Hey Daddy-o! I assumed you would be in your classes learning about all the ways you can kill someone!” I cheerfully replied. He made a noise of discomfort and sat at the end of the bench I didn’t take up.

“Well I was in class learning about how to HELP people but it let out early. I have around ten to fifteen minutes to hang out.”

“You know you’ll have to teach me about weak points and stuff. It is rather interesting. You could probably kill someone in a hundred different ways!!!”

Thunk.

“The fuck?!?” I exclaimed. Patton was probably thinking the same thing without the colorful language.

I didn’t have to wonder for long until a fucking bird flopped down on my head. The odds of that had to be ridiculously low.

Patton screamed and jumped up, freaking out about the bird. Honestly what was the big deal even? It’s a bird?? Actually… we could make it a rotisserie bird...

“OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS WHAT THE FUDGE STRIPE?!?” Patton finally managed to say. Good to know he can say actual words again.

“I know! We’re so lucky to have a bird land on me!” I said while grabbing the bird from the tip of its wing. It screeched, unfortunately not dead yet, and wiggled around.

“REMUS! DON’T JUST HOLD IT LIKE THAT!” Patton scolded. He took the bird from my clutches and held it like a puppy.

“Aww but Patton! I want it!”

“Then you should learn to take care of a bird before you get one!”

“What? I already know how to prepare it. It needs to be dead fi-”

“YOU WANT TO EAT THE BABY?!?”

“Yes?”

Patton stared at me in shock. Okay… that’s fair. Patton dismissed it with a sigh and turned his attention to the bird. It was a little brown feathered bird that left its feathers all over the place in distress. Shame… could have made a good meal.

“Well if you’re not going to eat it then what’s the point?” I rebutted.

He sighed again and held the bird close to his chest. “Help it, obviously!” Patton said with a small smile.

He reached for his right sleeve but his fingers didn’t quite make it before I sprang forward.

“Don’t risk it on a bird you idiot!” I said in a low and threatening voice. He didn’t seem to have a visual reaction to my threat besides looking back at the bird.

“But Remus! It’s a hurt little robin! I know I don’t have a grip on my po-”

“Don’t talk about it either you fucking moron! What did we say about their eyes being everywhere?” I growled.

I must have shifted slightly because my position from when I sprang forward because I fell off the bench with a yelp of surprise. I hit the concrete mostly unharmed but on the way down I bit my tongue hard. Why does this only happen to me?

“Excuse me gentlemen.” Welp that cut me out of the picture. Whoever that is isn’t talking to me.

“Oh! Hello… sir!” Patton nervously answered. Okay maybe they were talking to us.

I looked up before flinging myself backwards. A burn bro. They eyed me before turning to Patton.

“I didn’t mean to intrude but you said something about risking something on a bird? What did you mean by that?” They asked casually like they weren’t here to kidnap Patton.

“He meant wasting his time asshole. Stop sneaking around like a Scooby Doo villain.” I spat.

“Hey R... shut the fuck up. You are of no use with your mush for brains.” They growled back.

“Whoa hey can we just calm down? Surely we can just have a calm, quiet conversation?” Patton attempted.

The guy cleared his throat and nodded. “Ah yes. My apologies. That was highly unprofessional of me. May I ask what the risk was in helping the bird?”

Patton smiled an extremely fake smile and shrugged. “Oh well there’s absolutely no risk whatsoever. It’s just a bird that we are going to help very normally.” What in the god damn fuck Patton. You have single handedly screwed us.

“Mhm… say may I ask your first and last name?” They asked.

Fuck. Damn. Shit. Ass.

“Uhhh welllllll… my name is…. Burnnnnnnnnnnie Robinnnnnnson. Burnie Robinson.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“ABSOLUTELY! A hundred and one percent!!! Burnie Moral Robinson at your service!”

What. The. Fuck.

“Okay… Burnie. Where is your dorms?”

“I’M NOT ALLOWED TO ANSWER THAT Haha! You see here it’s kinda private information and I SURE AS HEAVEN DON’T KNOW YOU!!! Stranger danger and all that!!”

“Okay that’s fair… have a good afternoon Burnie.”

Holy shit that worked. OH MY SATAN THAT WORKED!!!!

The burn bro walked away suspiciously BUT STILL WALKED AWAY!!

“Oh my goodness that worked…” Patton said baffled. “I got away with that? I actually got away with that.”

“Yeah you did for now! You have landed us in hot water! They are going to keep asking you questions until they get who they’re looking for! All for a BIRD!”

“... but it’s a baby…”

I groaned and put a hand up to my mouth, remembering the blood still floating around in there.

“It’s not a baby. Babies are little gross mini humans. That is a feathered, walking lump of meat. How are you even attached to it?”

“Because it’s CUTE!”

I spat out a bit of blood from my mouth so I could reply but Patton screamed once more.

“OH MY GOODNESS YOU'RE BLEEDING?!? ARE YOU OKAY?!?” He screamed out.

“Wait someone’s bleeding?” Logan yelled from behind me. He was far away from us still but within hearing distance.

I sighed and grabbed my fidget cube that was now on the floor. “I’m fine. I cannot understand how you two are so… considerate. HEY! You two should pork!!!” I exclaimed.

Logan and Patton exchanged looks of confusion.

“What does protein have to do with a person’s well being? Logan said while joining his side.

“Protein is an important factor in a diet, you know that Logan.” Patton chimed in, “But cows are too cute to eat!”

“Yes Patton, we all know you’re vegetarian, but pork is a pig based product, not a cow based product…” Logan sighed.

“PIGS ARE CUTE TOO!” Patton exclaimed. I shook my head as the two glasses gays were totally missing the context of my joke.

“You two are so innocent… I meant you should TOTALLY FUCK.” When I clarified my original statement’s meaning, the two stared at me for a moment. Logan’s face showed slight shock but mostly confusion, while Patton went red as the blood I just spat onto the ground. Patton couldn’t make eye contact with either of us but after a moment, Logan was able to regain his composure and fix his glasses.

“Remus… I don’t believe that is how an optimal courtship should be conducted. Not that I have much experience in that department… but I assume you don’t either if that is how you approach people.”

“Oh, so you’re a virgin,” I cackled, then looked back at Patton and his bird, “then I assume you are too?”

Patton said nothing, just gently pet the bird.

“Patton, just ignore him.” Logan sighed, rolling his eyes at me.

“Okay… that sounds like… like a good plan. I’ll see you later Logy…” Patton squeaked and hurried off, the bird still clutched in his hands.

Now all that remained was the fucking nerd. Nah he’s boring. I’m getting outta here.

“Welp goodbye glasses gay! Enjoy your night with Patton!” I winked with the last word and ran off, leaving a Windows error in Logan’s place.

I skipped off to go back inside the college however the halls were flooded. Trying to find the others would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Good thing I found a needle in a haystack before.

I pulled open the door and inserted myself into the crowds of people. Most of the students were polite and didn’t do what I did… push my way around people. I didn’t slide by anyone but straight up, or as Logan and Patton should do, gay up, decided to ram into them. Most people flung themselves out of my path as best as they could at least.

I spotted the top of Virgil’s purple hair and ducked around to reach him. He was close to the bathrooms so that helps our situation.

I reached him and before Virgil had a say in the matter I pulled him into the bathrooms. Surprisingly, nobody was in here besides us two.

“What the fuck Remus?” Virgil asked colorfully.

“Shush! This is important! They’re here!”

“Jesus Christ Remus, you don’t mean-”

“Yup. Burn bro. Patton and I just had a run in. By the way, don’t ever ask Patton to lie about anything.”

“Okay cool. Can we get back to the part where THEY are HERE on SCHOOL GROUNDS?!? What even happened? Wait are you bleeding?”

“Why is everyone obsessing over that? I’m fine! Just hit the pavement.”

“So they didn’t hit you… right? I swear to god they better not have.”

“No! All they did was almost catch Patton-”

“THEY FUCKING WHAT?!? ALREADY?!?”

“Yup. That’s a downside. They are skeptical at least. Hey at least Patton’s in danger and not already captured!”

“You say that like it’s a good thing! Jesus fucking Christ I need to get to Patton!”

Before I could say anything else Virgil ran out of the bathrooms.

[kermitpussyindulgence]

ok but while were on the tubby subject lets talk about how fucking dirty the remake did noonoo 

first of all most noticeably our boy got a paint job which in any other circumstance id be fine w especially considering it was because of a backstage problem with the bluescreen used on set making him vr anime girl greentext >floating mouth and eyes BUT the point of him being blue was to complete the rygbv scheme w the other tubbies and make him part of a clean lineup and now that he looks like a sunset milkshake whoever made the call to do that stupid shit instead of just making him a non key shade of blue visually isolated noonoo from the tubs? like he wasnt already the odd man out bro? you had to fuck him off like that? that was cold. 2016 tubby staff bring back blue noonoo im not fucking around

and on top of totally blowing our boy off from the group they trashed his personality theres exactly ONE instance of noonoo being a delightful asshole in the remake and its not even good. he just swallows tinky winkys knockoff pos purse unprovoked and spits it out after fifteen seconds of bein chased around. the narrators the only one who serves the naughty noonoo(tm) while tinky winky & dipsy just trample around elated that he ate it, also out of character moments for both of them but 2016 tubbies dont have feelings all around

when i make it im either buying out the copyrights to teletubbies and bringing back my big blue bitch boy or im putting a hit out on everyone at d*rrall m*cqueen. my name is inigo montoya you killed my vacuum prepare to eat dick

[truthofherdreams]

is this clickbait? (#4)

also on ao3 + main instalment + behind the scenes

we’re no longer dating

Peter Kavinsky 2 • 6.9M views • 3 days ago

 “So…” Peter starts as he comes to sit next to her on one of the couches. Lucas and Gabe share the second couch, while Chris sits on the floor as is her habit. John stands in a corner, leaning against the wall. “We wanted everyone to know it first, before rumours start spreading.”

LJ bites down on her lip as she looks down to her lap, both hands clasped together between her thighs. She doesn’t particularly like when Peter’s tone gets so serious, too far away from his usual excited pitch. It doesn’t suit him, even if it suits the situation at hand.

“What?” Chris jokes, almost nervously. “Did you kill someone?”

“Something like this,” LJ agrees with a nod, still not looking up at her friend.

She feels the pressure of Peter’s hand on her shoulder, just for a moment, before he lets go of her with a sigh. “Thing is… Lara Jean and I decided to stop dating.”

His confession is met with stunned silence from all their friends. LJ chances a glance at them from behind her hair; Chris just staring at them with her mouth wide open, Lucas’ hand gripping her shoulder while his other hand is pressed to his mouth. Gabe just staring, his lips so tight his mouth disappears almost entirely. She doesn’t dare look John Ambrose’s way.

“What. The. Fuck,” Chris pronounces slowly, stopping on each word as her eyes move between Peter and LJ.

Peter carries on like a champ. “We had a long discussion about it, about the future and what we wanted in life and… well, we came to some conclusions, and we decided we couldn’t keep going on like this and…”

Slowly, deliberately, LJ raises one hand to grab some of her hair and tug it behind her ear. Much to her surprise, Gabe is the first one to react, letting out a loud gasp that catches the attention of the others.

“Oh you FUCKING ASSHOLES!” Chris screams, jumping to her feet.

“I BELIEVED YOU, YOU MORONS!” Lucas agrees.

Chris is already pouncing on LJ, snatching her hand with such strength that it will probably leave a bruise. She dangles LJ’s hand in front of Peter’s face, as if he wasn’t already aware of the ring on her fourth finger. As if he didn’t put it here himself a few days ago.

LJ’s cheeks already hurt from grinning too much at her friends’ reactions, all of them bursting into yells and screams and a hundred questions. Chris’s face is so close to her ring it would only need a flick of the wrist to slap her, not that LJ will do it.

Gabe is jumping like an excited puppy.

And Lucas looks back at John Ambrose suspiciously. “Why aren’t you reacting?”

John Ambrose simply shrugs, the picture of innocence, as he leans away from the wall and walks toward them. “I can’t believe you all bought it.”

“You knew,” Gabe states, squinting his eyes at him.

Chris gasps at LJ. “John knew and you didn’t tell me? Friendship over.”

LJ can only laugh then, leaning against Peter a little. He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her to his chest in an almost protective gesture. Her fiancé. She still can’t entirely believe it, has to pinch her arm or look down at her hand to remember this is all real.

“No regret,” Lj grins at her best friend, who replies with a huff.

“Now, that’s great and all, I’m happy for you, yaddy yadda,” Gabe says next. “But the real question is, where did you plant the camera for that stunt?”

Peter points to it, hidden among the books on the selves.

“Nice,” Lucas agrees, jogging toward the shelves to grab the camera. “Best clickbait ever.”

 …

 “I told you I need a twenty-second notice before you put a camera in my face,” John deadpans, trying and failing at pushing Peter’s camera away. Peter just keeps grinning at him like the fool he most likely is, and his best friend notices straight away. “What now?”

“I need your help with something.”

John’s features are unamused at best. It’s been quite the eventful month already, what with it being summer and thus a perfect time to go on tour. Stopping only a day or two in each city, being on scene, signing, taking pictures, meeting fan. All amazing, both on paper and in reality, but exhausting too.

They’re all on the verge of sleep deprivation, and John is running in circles about not being able to produce quality content or to be able to film in his usual studio. Saying that he’s been on edge these past few weeks is a bit of an understatement. He might burn out before they make it to Vidcon.

“What is it, Peter?” he sighs, already tired. Still, he’s standing up from his hotel bed and looking for his phone and keys already, like the good bro he is.

Peter only grins at him, bouncing on the balls of his feet a little. Thankfully he has a stabilizer not to make his camera all shaky. “We’re going shopping.”

John stops mid-reaching for his phone and turns back to Peter. “We’re not going to Target just so you can have content. You know we’re banned for life.”

Do a little harmless prank and Target will blow it out of proportions. They didn’t even have to get the firefighters involved, and yet Target forbad them from ever coming back, and especially coming back with a camera. Now they have to send LJ every time they need cheap snacks, and she’s not particularly happy about it.

“We’re not going to Target,” Peter reassures his friend. “But we are going to the mall…”

“I’m tired already…”

“Cause I need help ring shopping.”

John freezes. Properly freezes in the middle of putting his jacket on, staring at Peter with his mouth agape and his eyes widening. Which, okay. Probably not the best way to announce to your best friend that you want to propose to the girl of your dreams but. That’s Peter for you.

“Dude…” John starts, slow and careful.

“I know.”

“She’s going to freak out!”

“I know!”

John pauses again, just long enough to shrug his jacket on, before he tilts his head to the side. “Are you going to propose at Vidcon, like the romantic fool you are?”

Peter rolls his eyes so much he’s afraid they’ll get stuck at the back of his head. He hates how much of an easy read he is for his best friend, how nothing escapes John. Which is exactly why he’s telling him in the first place -- to have someone to freak out to before he actually asks LJ to marry him, to have someone he can turn to not to ruin the surprise.

Still, John keeps it way too real.

“Shut up. She’ll love it.”

“I know she will, that’s the worst part. You’re both romantic fools.”

 …

 “So real talk, guys,” Peter announces to his camera. It’s propped up on a few books on his desk, because apparently he’s too much of a cheap fuck to buy a new tripod these days. “We wanted to share the news with you, because it’s super important to us. But also, you know how we are with our privacy, especially when it comes to my relationship with LJ, so I hope nobody will make it weird or anything. Please, please, don’t make it weird. Don’t ask questions about how I proposed or anything like that, don’t ask LJ to post pictures of the ring, don’t… Just let us have this, okay? We’ll share what we want to share when we want to share it, so it’d be extra nice of you to understand that. Also, don’t bombard our PO box with gifts? If you want to do something nice for our engagement, I’ve put a list of charities we endorse in the comment sections, go and donate money to their cause instead of blowing it on gifts. That’s seriously the best gif you could give us. Anyway, see you guys on Monday’s vlog!”

 The John Ambrose Show ✓ 3 days ago

Like if you had a mini heart attack!

View 37 replies v

 CovinskyIsLove 3 days ago

HOLY MOLY CLICKBAIT I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU BUT SO FURIOUS AT THE SAME TIME

View 15 replies v

 TurtlesNinjaMutantTeenage 2 days ago

Remember two years ago when LJ was like .3sec in the vlog for the first time and we all freaked out? How far they’ve gone since then? And now they’re getting fucking married? Damn, we stand Youtube royalty.

View 27 replies v

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse Rewatches SPN 02x02 

Wendigo

“Where did Wendy go?”

Laughing at the recap

🎶daddy’s gone🎶

“OH YEAH! (KoolAid Man Style) How did I not realize that before?”

“Why is the S1 title card blue? Sam has demon blood so shouldn’t it be red? Or is it because the blood isn’t activated yet?”

“This makes me laugh. As a Boy Scout, we sneaked in our DS to play Pokemon at night just like this guy. You’d stash the gameboy as soon as you hear the adults coming. They must be playing Metroid or something. Idk”

“Oh this fkn thing. I’m so amused by the technology. I can’t read the model number on the phone thing, but that looks Nintendo for sure.”

“Tell Nature to call back. I’m going to have to remember that for the next time someone tells me that”

“If I know anything about weird noises outside at night while pissing, you wrap that shit up as quick as you can. You don’t want to get stuck or surprised with your dick in your hands and have a bear rip your junk off”

“This whole time, the guy has his dick in his hand. Its obnoxious. He’s rockin’ a piss, he hears a noise. He still has his dick in his hands and trying to figure out what the noise is but his dick is in his hands and he’s not wrapping that shit up. (This is being said very emphatically) He’s literally being caught with his dick in his hands. I didn’t count how many seconds he had his dick in his hands, but come on dude. No way are you still pissing at this point because you’re too scared. Wrap this shit up and put your dick away. I remember hyperanalyzing this part in the original watch-through but this really bothers me.”

“This guy is an idiot. Go into your sleeping bag and slow your breathing. He’s wearing that dumb shell necklace so I guess whatever”

“Is her name important at all? Anything about her family or whatever?”

“Sam’s crying choices. He says he’s not going to cry, he looks up to the sky and bites his lip LIKE HE DOES EVERY SINGLE TIME, the camera pans away, and then someone puts eyedrops in his eyes.”

“Going to talk slower and flex my jaw because I care so much that I’m going to grind you up with my teeth”

“Dean has dimples. Dimple Dean”

“I’m not paying attention to what they’re saying. We need to rewind”

“It’s just woods? You watch enough TV to know better. Daddy is a secret vampire hunter and it’s just woods? Herp derp”

Laughed at Dean looking at the bear

“It’s no nature hike”

“I’m with Dean on this? Why does Sam think Dean is looking for a hook-up?”

Look at Dean’s stupid face.

“Dean is just making faces to give Sam shit from his earlier comment”

“ZOOM AND ENHANCE”

“Idk how to use a Mac, bro. Just forward this to me bro. I’m more of a PC guy”

“Did you now????”

“If Sam could have just tabbed through the frames, why watch the video at normal speed? You gotta be an asshole and make Dean ask the question?”

“Douche”

Spouse always has called Sam a douche 

“That’s no bear. That’s a space station!….Idk”

“No one would ever say that. you wouldn’t believe me anyway. You would naturally ask a question to the question”

“The man is describing you PeePee!!!” (One of our cats is named PeePee)

“Aren’t there circus bears that can do this kind of shit? It’s improbable but possible.”

“Dean is all jealous. He’s thinking fuck yeah I want a scar like that. You saw how he looked at that scar”

“Look at my street drip. Look at that pussy drip. They’re just swaggering behind the way they are; it’s such a 2000 thing to do. They gotta make sure they look cool while looking cool”

“You’re just now getting pissed off?????”

Laughed at Dean punching Sam

“It’s kinda funny - this guy is acting like he’s a hitman but he was kinda hired to do so?”

“I don’t think that would happen nowadays. They’re making fun of his wardrobe, but I think people are more aware of not saying shit about that. These days you’d actually have appropriate clothes and feel like you’re not being made fun of wearing their street clothes into the woods. Fuck yeah they wanna wear their street clothes, but I think they’re pointing it out since they’re trying to point out how cool Sam & Dean are. I do think they should have dressed more appropriately, but idk if it’s a real safety concern.”

“Juicy”

“The guy has his gun strap half off his shoulder. Why carry it like that? Shoulder weapons are easier to hold and navigate when properly slung”

“I’m way more honest with my men” impersonating Dean “can’t trust those damn girls - they’ve got cooties”

“IT”S A GARMIN!!!! And yes I had one of those. You can write that down. Let your besties know.”

“That’s a lot of wax”

Laughed at the blood splatter and damage and shit

“That would be why everyone ran in that direction…”

“What kills them again? I don’t remember.”

Laughing at Sam and the hitman arguing

“They make the hunter guy look so stupid.”

“With magic!!”

🎶cultural appropriation🎶

“There should be a cartoon sign that indicates the offense like the Sexual Harassment Panda from South Park. The sign pops up then the sign leaves later. There’s also the “we didn’t mean it to be this gay” song at the end of some episodes”

“They moistened up his eyes a little bit and then they had Sam whisper a little. ASMR with Sam Winchester.”

Spouse is laughing at his own shitty jokes

“They gotta have the Big Brother / Little Brother moment? That’s a weird place to have this moment, because he’s giving advice then smiles like that? That soooo wouldn’t happen right there”

“That’s no grizzle bear” said in a rough manly man voice

“Just shoot in whatever direction you hear movement. That’ll go well. You could’ve just randomly shot the guy running from the wending.”

🎶sitting in ethereal fog. Trying to look all sexy and shit. But it didn’t age well🎶

“I wonder how many minutes of air time there are with the brothers convincing people that monsters are real.”

“This happens what? Every 4th episode?”

“Not a woman? Just a man?”

“Why is the brother there? He hasn’t done anything except throw funny looks at people. He just has a look of dissatification”

“That must hurt the wending to have such bloody claws unless he’s just wiping blood off onto the trees. That could be a thing I guess”

“Is this straight out of alien or something?”

“OH YEAH!!!! I think it’s so funny that we’ve seen the drippy blood like 3x already”

“Oh this is why we have the brother character. It’s for this exact interaction with Sam.”

“I’m just going to take this and throw it over there. I don’t need to gather it or anything”

“How many days out in the woods are they? I wouldn’t be throwing away M&Ms like that. What if they needed that emergency food later? I know it’s dirty, but it’s better than cannibalism.”

“Let’s just shine light in our faces. That’ll hide real good. We’re over here buddy. You can see the glint in our eyes and everything.”

“I’m gonna grab your mouth and make you real quiet then you’re going to stomp your boots all over while we’re trying to be quiet like a double standard. Gotta be quiet! Nope! Double standard.”

“Is he dead or gonna wake up? I don’t remember. Oh. He’s awake. Gotta have one little jumpscare. Predictable but that’s what they’re going for”

“Gotta show how cocky Dean is. Safety always off (Trailer Park Boys reference)” 

“Come get me bitch. I gotta be a big man. I’ll be your bait, daddy. Come punish me. Babygirl needs punishment. Come slap this ass”

“Sam is running, and the other people are just standing there looking at him. You’d think they’d run too”

“They already shot one, right?”

“And kaboom??? Fire???”

“There goes their whole budget. Splooge. Gone. Outside some of the flames isn’t that the full CG flame?”

“Dean even did the girl hair shake. If he were a girl, his hair would be getting his hair out of his face”

“We can’t actually talk about our shit. Let’s make a believable lie to the cops”

Babygirl stupid cocky face my beloved

🎶I’m an awkward plot device🎶 “the brother was there for Sam to explain the situation for like 4 minutes and that was it.”

“Camping might be better than some of the shitty motels they stay in though. Gotta be completely honest”

“That was a really creepy stare, Sam. 8 seconds dude. Holy fuck”

“Let’s rev it on a cold start and spin those bearings right off. Fuck warming it up. Fuck giving a shit.”

“I feel like the car revving noise was added post-production but you wouldn’t want to do it on a cold start anyway…………”

[jinxkid]

Some AftG headcanons because I am Suffering

There’s a betting pool on whether Neil’s fashion sense is actually That Bad or if he’s just screwing with them at this point

(It’s actually just that bad)

The Foxes finally decide fuck the bet it’s time to intervene when they see Neil in like a bro tank, jorts, and neon crocs. None of them are willing to be associated with that mess anymore

Nicky definitely has at least a couple embarrassing stories from Aaron’s childhood that make appearances when he deems it necessary

“Hey Aaron, remember that time you wanted to see how far you could stick a crayon in your ear and started crying when you thought it touched your brain?”

“Fuck off Nicky”

Kevin tries to convince the rest of the team that he’s the Superior Player because of his superior diet and they’re all like. We literally watched you down an entire bottle of vodka last night

Renee can beat Matt in arm wrestling

Teaching Neil incorrect pop culture references and slang becomes the new team hobby

They tell him that ‘booty call’ is the correct term for a butt dial and he rolls with it. They’re anxiously awaiting the first time he manages to butt dial someone

He has been thoroughly convinced that Kanye West is known for singing Cotton Eye Joe

The only thing the twins agree on is that pineapples are the best pizza topping. Much to the disgust of literally everyone else

The Foxes start referring to Exy as anything but Exy (e.g. boxball, stickball, fake-lacrosse) just to see Kevin twitch

Matt and Nicky once decided to figure out which of their teammates is which Spice Girl

The only one they could unerringly agree on was Kevin as Sporty Spice

Like sure they all sport

But Kevin is just so Extra about it. Even more so than Neil

Despite their disagreements the game quickly caught on with the rest of the team and evolved

They’ll now attempt to assign each other to the members of literally any squad

“Look I see your point but Neil is clearly Dipsy”

“Neil is Po and I will physically fight any one of you assholes who disagrees”