#he is our lord and savoury
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ashesonmars · 1 year ago
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Why i kin chris skelton :D i just want an excuse to ramble about him instead of doing college work
●• Chris is a people pleaser and he mirrors the behaviours of those around him. (E.g. he mirrors sam when he wishes for his co workers to respect Annie and going to The Blitz with Shaz despute it being way out of his comfort zone)
●•Gets words mixed up a lot (Alicante and Flagrante)
●• Loves making people laugh and if they dont it upsets him
●• Struggling with social cues and misunderstands people a lot (hands sam the tea and bourbons instead of the files, dw mate i assumed that he wanted them too)
●•cant take things seriously for shit (its ok chris, i wouldve laughed at the curtain not closing at Vivs funeral too, could also link to not getting social cues)
●• Frickin easily distracted (Cant believe Alex took his Rubiks cube and gave it away, Justice for the Rubik!) He will just start talking about some random shit like the mirror at the dentist thing though and i do the same.
●•Clumsy bugger, can relate, walked into plenty of walls, fallen down many stairs and i got my foot stuck in a goal net in football club once. Me profile picture is so relatable :'] i havent skated over anyones thumbs though, but thats because i canr even stand up in skates.
●• Will randomly just be a nerd (references star wars and other media he enjoys quite often)
●•Bet he doesbt procrastinate putting his F**CKING SHOES ON THOUGH (Its a current issue dont judge me)
●• Struggles with fitting in and is often mocked, he mostly fits in when he mirrors behaviours of those around him and this can cause issues (The blitz episode where he tells Shaz he enjoyed the Blitz but tells Ray a completely different thing. People.pleasing. to. A. TEE. T? TE? How tf do you spell it.
●•Were both from manchester (im really not)
●•running out of ideas oh shit
●• So i have the Life on mars and ashes to ashes handbooks and each belong to chris and he has a tendency to doodle in the corner of the page with some little patterns. THIS MAN JUST IS ME ISTG
●•Hes frickin neurodivergent (Its never said in the show but fuck you Ashley and Matthew im making the rules now heeheeheeeee)
●•This is a headcanon but he would drink excessive amounts of monster for the caffeine go brrrr thing. Istg caffeine unlocks the rest of my brain i dont use even if it means i dont shut my gob
Yeah i think thats it, anyway i ended up putting my shoes on FINALLY and ive got lime 10 mins until i need to leave and i havent had breakfast. Its fine ill grab a monster omw to college :D
Anyway byeee and thanks for reading this chaotic ass post
~R☆
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rattini · 7 months ago
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Honey Whiskey // x
The honey whiskey's kickin' Go down, go down I think I better go before I try something I might regret But if you wanna free your body tonight It's our secret, it's our secret
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The Ghoul x F!Reader
Set years before the events of the Fallout TV show.
The unfortunate plaything of a drug lord with a bounty on his head, you’re dragged to a bar as his little pet. With nothing else to do but drink with them, you try to lose yourself in liquor, wondering how long this was going to be the theme of your life. Luckily for you, the bounty on the head of your captor has attracted the attention of a ghoul with nothing to lose. A man you noticed eyeing you and the men accompanying you from across the room for more than an hour, before letting loose his bullets into the heads of everyone but you. Hazy from alcohol, you ponder if you should return the favour, the only way that has worked for you so far.
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You’re used to being a ‘pretty thing’ on the arm of a man trying to prove his power, it had been your primary mode of survival not long since you were evicted from your vault. Sneaking around the desolate wasteland with minimal water and just enough drugs to curb the pain of your current skin affliction got old fast. Your self-doubt had convinced you that surviving alone wasn’t an option. When a group of leering, greasy men cornered you one afternoon in the highest heat of the Mojave sun, your fight or flight response chose fawn. It was easy enough, you figured standards had dropped significantly out here these days, yours clearly had.
Right now, you were tethered to a sweating hog of a man with a severe lack of investment in personal hygiene, who had made himself more than acquainted with your inner thigh. He bragged endlessly about being untouchable, the most powerful fucker in these parts. Men and their need to showboat. Eyes were not on you at present, that you were aware of at least, so you allowed yourself to roll them in response to his gloating. Fortunately, as a perk of being his little toy, you were welcome to help yourself to the liquor decorating the bar where you sat.
Perched delicately on a stool, you had little choice but to sit properly, since you were donned in a less than savoury getup that didn’t really flatter you in the slightest. Either way, it crept uncomfortably far up your thigh, you were pretty sure your asscheeks were stuck to the cracked leather of the bar stool…but anything for easy access, right? That’s all that mattered for you now. You had made your bed, now you had to lie in it, on your back usually. For every grubby prod of his fingers, you sip a little harder at the old whiskey in your glass, a task in itself since your wrists were bound. You had just enough freedom to grip a glass and bring it to your mouth, but your ankles were also bound, so you weren’t going very far any time soon. Swallowing down the sting in your throat, you barely grimaced at the taste as the heat spread through your chest. It was rather pleasant really, or at least, the growing fuzziness in your limbs and face were.
Your boredom grows as the evening drones on, your eyes wander across the room. A dingy old bar, all but a few patrons scared off by your adoring captors. Except one. You’d noticed them from the corner of your eye near an hour ago, focus shifting away from them easily from the liquor. An unmoving figure draped across an old couch, head bowed low, crowned with a cowboy hat with legs lazily spread. You find yourself pondering them some more, intrigued by their mystery, coyness lost on you at this point as alcohol seeps into your bloodstream.
Just as your focus intensifies, you notice their head rise, the brim of their hat revealing a dark, masculine jaw. His body remained unmoving, but you can’t help but feel like his attention is fixated on you. Attempting to shake the feeling of being watched, you turned your own attention fleetingly back to your glass, which was near empty. Disappointed, you attempted to reach over the counter for the bottle of whiskey balancing on the edge of the bar. Unaware of the flesh you were flashing to do so, you park yourself again, fumbling the bottle with your barely free hand to pour yourself another glass and meeting your lips with it. Tilting your head back far enough for the liquid to escape down your throat, you glance once more at the man in the corner. His eyes, visible through dark sockets under the brim of his hat, are hooked on you more obviously this time. Feeling warm and brave, you meet his gaze, trying to decipher what kind of face is hiding beneath the shadows. Visible are his sclera, but his irises appear dark, along with the rest of his features. You didn’t mind his gawking, enjoying the dangerous entertainment it provided for you.
Interrupted by the poking grip of stubby fingers above your knee, your eyes dart back at the raider, drug lord, scumbag whatever-he-was. He wasn’t looking at you, but his hands were wandering all the same. Gliding up the inside of your thigh, causing shudders to rise from the base of your spine. The encroaching tipsiness meant hiding your grimace was more of a challenge, and so you twisted your neck with a look of disgust you hoped no one would notice. But it didn’t go unnoticed. Lifting your eyes again, you notice the man is still looking at you, posture leaned forward, revealing his visage. A ghoul. Not awful on the eyes either. Hell, not that your current company was anything to compare to. He noticed your eyes widen and it cracks a smirk on his mottled skin, head cocking to the side. Unblinking, your cheeks flush hot for a second, your only choice to swallow hard and shake it off.
A sharp tug on the rope slowly cutting into your wrist yanks you from your drifting gaze. A waft of halitosis and liquor exposes his intoxication, which probably also meant his desire to have his way with you was near. Encroaching on your personal space, which didn’t really belong to you anymore anyway, he leans in with an open mouth, ready to take what he wants from your lips. The pungency of his breath almost knocks you off the stool, and when he notices you lean away from his kiss, he makes sure that you do end up on the floor. Crashing to your knees with an audible pop of your joints, you let out a cry that brings a wicked grin to his lips. Stifling a growl as you ride through the pain of your aching joints, you’re ordered to return to your feet. Knowing full well that you’re unable to get up, the raider boss drunkenly draws his shotgun to meet your forehead.
“Up, bitch.”
You shoot him a furious but desperate stare through furrowed brows, despite being in no position to argue with him. You attempt to return to your feet to no avail, through stifled groans of pain that radiate in your kneecaps. Growing more frustrated by your lack of movement,  the raider disables his safety and your heart drops. A cold sweat beads rapidly against your back, this time bracing yourself for his inevitable itchy trigger finger.
A gunshot.
Followed by another.
Eyes squeezed tightly shut, reflexes delayed by your assurance that at least one bullet was lodged in your flesh, but no pain followed. Your ears ring from the gunshots and you spring your eyes open to check yourself. The spattered blood of the man accompanying you covered your front, but it seems you were free of any further injury. Vision darting around the room, you attempt to collect your gall and figure out the situation. To your right, two more raiders, the lackeys, guns poised straight ahead of them. To your left, the ghoul on the couch, now standing with a revolver in each outstretched hand. The standoff is short-lived before the ghoul sinks a bullet into the forehead of each raider, splattering their grey matter across the dingey walls of the now abandoned tavern.
Silence fills the room, besides a few debris clattering to the floor and the thudding of your heartbeat pounding through your ringing ears. Your chest heaves as the panic sets in, you may have been spared, but that means very little in the wasteland. You come to the assumption that you’ll be next by association. Unable to return to your feet, your hands reach to cover your head as you hear the clicking of the ghoul’s spurs approach with each heavy step. As the footsteps cease, you dare peek at the boots that have appeared at your knees, following them up until you find the face of the man they belong to. Towering over you, his eyes darken to an almost predatory look. His gloved hand finds your bound wrists and he lifts you to your feet in one rough swoop, propping yourself on shaking legs as you stand uncomfortably close to him.
A knife emerges from its sheath to meet the soft skin of your neck, drawing up to linger on your bottom lip. You don’t take your eyes off him for a second, hoping the familiar deer-in-the-headlights tactic will prove useful once more. It was almost embarrassing how often it had saved your life out here. The ghoul keeps your gaze, unblinking, cocking his head to the side as if he were considering something. His stare bores into you, eyes oddly warm brown to match the heat radiating from under his duster. The blade slowly raises past your eyes, where he still firmly holds your aching wrists above your head. With a swift tug and low grunt from his throat, the rope bindings loosen and release the pressure from your joints, and you check your them for blood.
Feeling his eyes still on you, you scan back up to his face again, silence filling the entire room as your world still gently spins from the alcohol. The rope remaining tightly around your ankles begins to chafe, rubbing away the top layer of skin. A quick glance down to your feet and back up at him again, hinting. The smirk he flashed you from the other end of the room prior to the shootout creeps back on his lips and yellowed teeth peek through. He practically leans over you, encroaching on your space much like the raiders and those before him had done, but this was different. This time you liked it. The liquor buzz and tingling fear created quite a thrill, one that engulfed your entire skin with prickles and sank into the pit of your belly with a fluttering warmth.
Without uttering a word, he slowly descends. Close enough that you feel the heat of his breath as he meets your face and continues down your form to crouch in front of you, head now level with your navel. Time slows in the room, hazy with excitement, or was it your life flashing before you? Gripping the back of your knee, he slowly reaches down to slice at the bindings on your ankles with the other, almost as if he were savouring the moment, the brim of his hat tickling your lower belly as he tilts his head down. A familiar release, as you reposition your feet to stand more comfortably, skin itching from the rope. The grasp of your knee pit rises until his fingers digs into the meat of your hamstring. Your leg twitches as you imagine the sensation of his rough, ungloved hands wrapped around the underside of your ass cheek. His blade makes contact with your skin once more, cold and stinging on the inside of your calf. Your body stiffens and you hold your breath, before the knife begins to rise up the soft flesh of your leg, past your knees and settling mid-way up your thigh. A gasp escapes your lips as the cold metal tickles your sensitive skin and sends jolts into the heat of your underwear. You dare not move but your body betrays you with a soft tremble. He emits a low hum, humoured by your obvious attempt to hide your growing fear and excitement.
Nonchalantly, he returns to his feet, examining his blade before sheathing it again, the corners of his mouth still curled slightly. As his attention returns to you once more, he reaches over your diminutive form, the collar of his aged shirt almost brushing the tip of your nose. His aroma is powerful, perhaps not in scent, but certainly in the way it makes your belly rise and flutter and tingles creep into your throat. Old leather, Mojave dust, and a musk that was fairly pleasant, all things considered. He recedes with a glass in his hand, your glass, as he knocks back the remainder of your drink before tipping the glass to you with a nod and returning it to the bar.
Stepping around you he strolls over to the body of the man you had belonged to until now and makes quick work of looting his pockets and removing his head with efficiency. He examines the head with a scoff and glances back towards you, almost mocking your choice of company. Grabbing a fistful of hair, the head now dangles by the ghoul’s side as he steps off to leave the bar. As he reaches the fractured door frame, you dare to finally move. First your lips, a wobbly “Thank you.” escapes them, but you remain with your back to him. His gait halts and he twists to peer back at you, raising an eyebrow in  surprise, but says nothing still. Perhaps pleasantly surprised by the rarity of manners, perhaps wondering how well those manners could serve him. He stands awaiting you, a dark figure almost filling the doorway. You wonder if he left already, but are met with his widening, lopsided grin. He tips his hat to you and slinks off beyond sight.
Intoxicating…intoxicated. You’re intoxicated. Your fight or flight response drags you back to your sobering reality. You had been spared by a bounty hunter, and a ghoul at that. Unfortunately for you though, the group of thugs providing some sort of protection were now splayed out on the rotting wooden floor, decorated by their own blood. You were alone, again. The reality of your situation sinks in as you fumble to collect the least bloody jacket from one of the bodies as an attempt to cover as much of your bare skin as possible. Your mind has other plans however, as the lingering image of his sultry eyes are fixed into the back of your eyelids, and you can’t help but wonder how those hollowed features would look if you were underneath him.
Fuck.
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ramayantika · 1 year ago
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Proshitabhartruka Nayika .・。.・゜✭・
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My bracelets are gone.
Tears, those sweet friends, departed forever.
Courage left instantly
and my heart
went fastest of all.
They set off in concert
when my beloved decided
to leave.
You should go too, life—
why lag behind that troop
of dear comrades?
~Erotic Love Poems from India
»»————> ●○●○●○●○ <————««
I tugged at his sleeve for one last time, in hopes that my tearful eyes would bid him to stay by my side. His face too lost its pallor. His warm hand caressed mine as his eyes gazed deep into mine, telling them that staying was impossible.
And then when he memorized the curls falling on the sides of my cheeks, my kohl-smudged eyes, the pearl nose-ring and a sad smile on my lips, his eyes travelled downward to the little one growing inside me.
"Will you come back before this child enters the world?"
"Can't make promises, my love."
"Make one right now, so that the gods let you come home to welcome a mother and a baby."
"May the gods wish the same, priye"
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Days are desolate, and the nights empty. No warm sheets to the right side of the bed, and no hand to touch the sensations of this playful child in my womb. My friends bring sweets and savoury delights, and my mother narrates the tales of little Krishna for the baby. But who shall kiss my forehead and look at me with shining eyes and whisper me in my ears how divinely beautiful I look in the shade of motherhood?
But then for a moment, I think about my husband's side. Which father would like to stay away from his growing child. Would he not desire to feel his baby's kicks and laugh in delight? Would he not be sad and shed a lonely tear down his cheek at night alone in his chamber thinking about all that he misses about this newfound fatherhood?
How can a husband stay calm when overseas knowing his wife sits alone gazing at the moon, in hopes of him coming home soon? He would want to serve me the weirdest mixture of sweet delights and sour pickels just so I can be pleased.
I sigh in despair and put my head on my mother's lap.
He doesn't even have friends to come over his house daily.
Oh lord, when does his sojourn end?
खाली है तेरे बिना दोनो अखियाँ, तुम गए कहाँ?
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Sometimes the nights are warm, and I forget about motherhood. There are desires that I long to give in and fulfill. I want him to touch my skin, and leave light kisses all over me, adoring him like his most cherished thing.
A few monsoons ago, I was making my way to my home when he caught my hand and whisked me to the riverbank. As the rain fell down the mighty clouds, his lips caught my lips, drenched from those moist showers. And then when the clouds raged with thunder, I shivered in fright, but his arms caught me in a tight embrace, as we laughed and admired our warm but wet cheeks, and all was well.
That evening I went home with a wet and discarded veil, and a skirt tied loosely around my hips. I was won and desired in the rain.
But it's autumn now. Dry and empty. The dark clouds have gone on a sojourn too and so has my beloved. No kisses in the rain fall over my being doused in fiery desires.
"मारे के मैं तो सिमट गयी, चुनरी मेरी मुझसे लिपट गयी
ऐसे में तूने जो ली अंगड़ाई, परबत से काली घटा टकराई
पानी ने कैसी ये आग लगाईं"
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I caress my stomach, making the baby inside me to go to sleep, and look outside the window. The slight chilly breeze from dawn rushes inside my warm chamber. My fingers feel slightly cold and I almost turn my body to tickle my husband's neck with these cool fingers.
What do I find?
An empty bed and an empty pillow.
**
My friend can play the veena well. I remember once we attended a festival, and he loved the musical performance so much that he held my wrist and twirled me around amidst the large crowd.
Her music is lovely, but she plays a melancholic tune.
If he were here, he would be penning poetry for me by now.
***
Everybody has gone home. My girlfriends too. Just like the moon shining in all her glory remains alone, I in this well-lit courtyard stand alone in these silks and jewels.
The moon's splendour falls short now. How long until I gaze at his moon-like face?
The breeze whispers something in my ear. And that's it.
An empty courtyard...
***
"Sakhi, a man from that faraway town has got a letter for you about your husband's arrival. My brother is arriving a week later from that place."
»»——⍟——««
Taglist: @eugenephosgene @tamatar-bac @swayamev @navaratna @the-rarest-love @arachneofthoughts @inexhaustible-sources-of-magic @pulihora @krishna-priyatama @vedajananixx
I literally wrote it one day with watching some dance videos related to this and countless articles and paintings.
I wanted to leave this at her loneliness because that's what this nayika does mostly
But you all know me. And I msyelf like to be hopeful. The husband has to come back now when? We never know.
That's hopeful. Maybe he kept his promise and they have a cute child and dance around
Or......
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pierrai · 8 months ago
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May I request a short fic of a jealous Alastor sucking dick?
Hello! Thank you for your request! Since this is requested as a short (totally short!!) fic, I changed my usual style of bullet points! I hope you will enjoy!
Character: Alastor Catesby Word Count: 2845 Scenario: Jealous Al giving a BJ Warnings: NSFW
Alastor
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"Didn't feel like gracing me with your presence today, my lord?"
The snide voice coming from your doorway pulls you out of the world of paperwork you were unwillingly immersed in and back into reality. You hadn't even heard the door open, let alone anyone knocking, but considering who was stood there, it was unlikely he'd even bothered knocking anyway.
"Oh." The small sound that tumbles out your mouth all but gives away that you'd forgotten. You two had made plans today. You told Al you'd drink with him. He raises an unamused brow, and you pause in the middle of your writing to offer him an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry, Al, I forgot. I've been busy with this paperwork all afternoon and still haven't gotten anywhere. I thought for sure we'd arranged this for some other day." You are genuinely sorry, but Al doesn't look as if he buys what you're saying at all as he closes the door behind him and saunters towards your desk cluttered with papers.
"You had a whole week to get all your work out the way for our plans, but of course you decide today is when you should focus on it." He folds his arms and flits his eyes between yourself and the paperwork laid out before you. Seems like he was in an especially bad mood today.
You remember back when you first met him a couple years ago now, he'd scarcely seemed to care about what you did with your time. He'd been the unruly second son of the Catesby family, and you were some lesser lord who occasionally saw him at gatherings. Then when the two of you had the opportunity to talk more, you become one of his, well, simply put... transactional relationships. It was a relationship you both enjoyed when the right circumstances struck and though Al had a less then savoury reputation, you weren't a lord that was overly concerned with morals. You appeared prim and proper and regal, but you'd welcomed Al and his depravity when it benefited you to enjoy that sort of company.
He'd disappeared for a while when his family had kicked him out, though you'd still been in contact through the occasional letter (again, mostly transactional) and only when his title was reinstated and he was given the task of being a liaison between his family and smaller lords, you continued where you left off in your relationship. No strings attached, just now you could have some relief a bit more often than before.
So you can't quite figure out why he's been acting more jealous towards you as of late.
"Look, I apologised, didn't I?" You say. "I got a lot of these documents only recently so, no, I couldn't just work on them some other time. We can go drinking another day, okay?"
He was never ever like this before. He had this sort of relationship with many and never cared if you did the same, but he'd very slowly began to monopolise your time when he could. If you mentioned other people, he'd go eerily quiet for a moment before carrying on as usual. You weren't dense enough to not consider that maybe he'd caught some feelings for you, but if he did, he really didn't do anything to show it. Al was a flirt, but after knowing him for a while, you'd figured out a lot of his actions were for show only and he hardly ever said anything heartfelt.
"Hah." His lips twist up into a sharp and humourless smile. "That's it? You stand me up and have me waiting for an hour and that's all you have to say?"
"Oh, come off it, Al. As if you haven't stood me up a thousand times before. I do it once and suddenly you're up in arms." You huff out a sigh as you pick up your quill from your inkpot again and attempt to sign yet another sheet of paperwork, but before you can finish scrawling the first letter of your name, the paper is suddenly snatched out from under you.
"This is what was so important you completely forgot about me? Some stupid land ownership deed of some nobody farmer?" He tightens his grip on the paper as his eyes scan it line by line, which now has a dark inky streak across it, and thins his eyes at you. "I'm flattered."
"A stupid land ownership deed that I'll have to request a new copy of, thank you very much," comes your dry reply. Some part of you wants to argue back more against Al, but the exhausted part of you that's been on the receiving end of his weird pedantry one too many times releases another heavy sigh, and you put your quill back down so you can massage your temples instead. "Look, today isn't a good day. Can't we just reschedule? I'm too busy to deal with you right now."
Al raises a brow as he slowly lowers the now-crumpled deed back down to the desk. He doesn't seem to care that you're clearly exhausted (not that he ever did) and seems more perturbed that you're blowing him off for what he sees as nonsense.
"How cruel. After I travelled all the way here, you're just going to send me off again?" He sneered, a mirthful smirk still tugging at his lips.
"Al..."
"You know, it's no problem if you want to work. I'll just watch." He begins dragging a chair over from the side of the room, parking it right in front of your desk opposite you, and sprawls himself across it. "You get to do your work, and you're not standing me up anymore." His smile is less than pleasant.
You don't say anything back to him, only setting your eyes on him in an unsteady glare, opening and closing your mouth twice to try to tell him to leave, but you know he won't obey. The only way you'd get him out of your study at this point was by force, and you didn't exactly want that either.
It's better to let him just sit there for now. Perhaps you're just procrastinating the inevitable. You will have to shoo him away eventually but you really, really just want to finish these stupid documents so you can finally focus on something else. You're certain you can tune Al out if you try hard enough.
It's difficult though. Al keeps picking up random items on your desk—quills, ornaments, paper work—and analysing them before tossing them back down where they didn't belong. He was annoying, but manageable, you told yourself.
Manageable until you suddenly feel something touching your leg from underneath your desk, and your hand freezes in the middle of writing a new signature.
"Al, stop it," you chided him quickly, jerking your leg to shake him off, but he simply ignored you and flicked over to the next page of the document he was reading. His foot found it's way to your leg again, caressing it's way up and up until it was almost touching your inner thigh.
You probably should've just backed away again, but for some reason you let him continue. The hairs on the back of your neck were raising with anticipation and the hand holding your quill was clenched hard. When Al's foot reached between your legs and he suddenly pressed the tip of his toes hard against your crotch, you let out a less-than-dignified gasp and attempted to knock his advances away again.
"Alastor." You stressed each syllable of his name through gritted teeth, and he smugly met your eyes with a raise of his brow. This man was exhausting. "I let you sit here, so stop with this. I-I don't have time for it—I have to finish all of this, and then worry about this stupid dinner party and—"
"Dinner party?" Al echoed, planting both his feet back on the ground as he leant forward in his chair and tossed the document aside. "Ahh, I see. You stood me up because you made other plans instead. You thought if you just didn't show up at all, you wouldn't have to deal with me either. You could go to your insignificant little dinner party free of worry."
"No, just—" you throw down your quill again, frustration building even more, "—why do you always have to twist things into the worst possible interpretation. I forgot because I had—have—a lot of work! I didn't do it on purpose."
Al scoffs. He doesn't refute what you've said, but you can tell it hasn't made him feel much better either. When Al was upset, that was that. Explanation be damned, he's going to stay upset.
He stands up suddenly, and when he rounds the corner of the desk and comes to stand right in front of you, your heart does a nervous little jump in your chest. Your mouth opens to say his name in what might be fear, but it's swallowed up when he suddenly drops down to his knees and tugs the chair you're sat on closer to him.
"What are you—" You're cut off for the umpteenth time that day when his hands tug at the buttons of your pants and then quickly dive into your undergarments to fish out your half-hard cock. The sensation of Al's cold fingers against your own heated skin only sends more blood rushing down to your crotch rather than your brain, which can't decide whether it's okay with what's happening or not.
"You can tell whatever nobody invited you to that dinner party you already have plans," Al says snidely, glaring up at you as he works his hands roughly up and down your shaft to make it harder. You want to refute him and push him back, but he suddenly dives his head down between your legs and closes his mouth around the whole length of your cock.
"Wait, Al—"
The wet heat of his tongue forces a gasped moan out of your throat, and you push your hands against Al's head weakly. He holds it firmly in place, unphased, eyes focused and determined as he hollows his cheeks around your member, furrowing his brow in what's likely satisfaction rather than discomfort when it grows to it's full hardened length. You can't help it. Even if you rationally don't want this, your body has decided that you do. Al's mouth has always felt good.
One of his hands grips at your thigh, while the other strokes its way up your leg. The lewd slurping sounds coming from his mouth are only clouding your mind with more lustful thoughts, as is the feeling of Al's tongue running along the side of your shaft roughly. You really should tell him to stop, but the words crumble as soon as you try to speak them.
He begins bobbing his head eagerly, the hand that was caressing your leg moving up to hold the base of your shaft as he repeatedly forces it as deep down his throat as it'll go. You have to admit, he is skilled at this. Even if his method is possessive and rough, it's overwhelming how good it feels. You have to move one of your hands from his head to clap it over your mouth. With your head tilted back, you can barely swallow down all the moans.
This was the first time Al was using sex to get your attention. You'd started noticing more and more that he would get jealous over silly things, and though he'd easily brushed it off at first, he soon progressed to flirting as a way of drawing your attention back to him. You didn't know why he even got jealous in the first place when your relationship was always something the two of you agreed was casual and transactional. Now here he was using sexual acts as a way of keeping you in your place. If these acts of jealousy became commonplace... Ahh, you didn't care to dislike the idea right now. You'd probably welcome it. It felt so good after all.
Your cock pops out of his mouth with a terribly lewd and wet sound, but Al is quick to resume the attention it was getting by licking up and down the side while his hand roughly jerks you off, pumping up and down tightly. He brings his fingers to the very end of your penis, lightly pinching just under your glans so clear fluid begins leaking out your tip. That makes Al smirk with clear satisfaction. With your length wet with both your own precum and Al's saliva, you gaze down at him, flushed and breathless, and wonder if he's going to take this a step further by riding you at your desk. You'd probably let him at this point, too horny to say no.
He closes his mouth back around you again instead, making more lewd slurping noises as he begins his steady pace, up and down, up and down. It's not long before you're letting out small moans and gasps, biting down on your index and middle finger so you won't attract the attention of any servants passing by. The other hand you've began running through the strands of Alastor's hair tightens subconsciously, and Al's eyes thin in warning before he presses his teeth against the skin of your cock.
"Ah—!" Another less than-dignified gasp. Even more so now considering it was half a moan as well. You let go of Al's head and glare down at him while he meets your eyes with a raise of his eyebrows and a mischievously smug look in his eyes.
His tongue licks where he'd bitten teasingly from inside his mouth, and your body tenses as pleasure seeps back in to cover the slight amount of pain he'd caused. Even though it had hurt, both you and Al knew you didn't mind the occasional amount of pain in the sessions between the two of you.
The assault on your cock continues in earnest and as you get closer to your climax with each passing second, your hips begin rising from your chair to buck your length deeper into Alastor's mouth. The pleasant sounds of him adjusting to your length and letting out gurgled moans when you hit the back of his throat only make you more eager, but no more eager than Al who snakes his arms under and around your hips to suck you in deeper.
"Gonna—cum—" You can barely get the words out. Not like Al ever cares, but you've always been nice enough to warn him in case he ever wants to pull out. He doesn't seem to care this time too. His arms hug your waist tighter as you arch your back so much you're barely sitting at your chair anymore. Nails dig into the skin showing from where your pants have been further tugged down but you don't care about any pain they bring. Your own hand comes to rest on Al's head again, gripping the strands of his hair while the other covers you mouth before you can let out a loud, climactic moan.
The hot coil in your stomach comes completely undone and your body twitches as you feel your release hit you all at once. Hot, white cum spurts out your tip and down into Alastor's throat. He doesn't even pull back, gulping down each drop stubbornly and keeping his mouth firmly in place even as you ride out your orgasm with a couple thrusts of your hips, wanting to prolong the bliss for as long as you can. It feels amazing. So amazing that you've forgotten you and Al had been arguing mere minutes ago, and so amazing you tell yourself you're glad you didn't give him the boot sooner. God, you could do this forever.
You sink back down in your chair and let your arms fall back to your sides, letting out a few more shuddering, breathy moans and letting your head dip forward after throwing it back in sheer ecstasy. Mind fuzzy, you just about manage to open your eyes to watch Al slip your dwindling cock out of his mouth, a line of cum and saliva breaking away between them when he licks his lips and gulps down whatever's left in his mouth. The sight is nice. It's easy to see why Al managed to sleep around with so many.
Finally his eyes meet yours again and though your mind is a mess of exhaustion and post-sex clarity, you offer the smallest of smirks.
"While I appreciate your service, I don't think you've prolonged it enough for me to miss my dinner party arrangements." You don't know if you're teasing him on purpose or stating a fact. Al smirks haughtily, and his hands move back from your hips to in between your legs so his hands can tease your sensitive cock and bring life back into it again. Excitement rises in your chest whether you want it to or not.
"Good thing I'm not finished then."
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fundielicious-simblr · 11 months ago
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(Adalynn's POV)
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My family threw us a sip n see for little Bethany! They wanted to be able to 'shower' us in gifts since little miss was a total surprise to us and we have nothing for little girls. The party was all girls, so Mason was there for the beginning to take pictures and say a few words, then he left with whichever of the boys wanted to hang with him (which was most of the older boys). All the girls from my family as well as other family friends were all invited to wear pink and bring their daughters, it was a wonderful afternoon of fellowship, prayer, and laughter. Getting to see my cousins that live far away was amazing as we don't have many opportunities to be together, so this weekend was another one for the memory books.
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My mum is one of my biggest supporters and I thank the Lord everyday for her, she was one of the happiest when we told the family that we got the little girl we'd been praying for. Even though we're all grown and most of us live with our own families, she still acts like the mum we had as small children and is always there to offer advice and a helping hand when needed.
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My sisters and cousins joined heads together to plan the food and decor for the afternoon, since it happened between lunch and dinner they arranged sweet and savoury finger food with the usual punch fountain. Macie and Celeste did the breadrolls, hummus & vegetable platter, and the mini sandwiches; The rest of the girls found different bakeries to provide the doughnuts, cake pops, an array of cookies, and an amazing cake - all in pink!
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I absolutely love getting to be with all 7 of my sisters, especially when they came together to help plan this for me. Now that we're older and our relationships have changed now that we can understand each other better, we just get along much better and our relationships are so much deeper. The younger girls have blossomed into such beautiful young women and I'm so excited for their future, obviously praying for them as well!
It's always great to be back with my girls too, Kyleigh, Madelynn, Valentina, and I have such a great bond that I constantly thank the Lord for. We started courting, getting engaged, and getting married all around the same time so we all leaned on each other - there was once a time we were all pregnant together too! Right now none of us are pregnant, but that can change at any time!
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castyourline · 2 years ago
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C. S. Lewis on Tolkien, “The value of the myth is that it takes all the things we know and restores to them the rich significance which has been hidden by ‘the veil of familiarity.’ The child enjoys his cold meat, otherwise dull to him, by pretending it is buffalo, just killed with his own bow and arrow. And the child is wise. The real meat comes back to him more savoury for having been dipped in a story; you might say that only then is it real meat. If you are tired of the real landscape, look at it in a mirror. By putting bread, gold, horse, apple, or the very roads into a myth, we do not retreat from reality: we rediscover it. As long as the story lingers in our mind, the real things are more themselves. This book applies the treatment not only to bread or apple but to good and evil, to our endless perils, our anguish and our joys. By dipping them in myth we see them more clearly. I do not think he could have done it any other way.” “The dethronement of power: J. R. R. Tolkien, The Two Towers (being the Second Part of The Lord of the Rings) (London: Allen and Unwin, 1954) and J. R. R. Tolkien, The Return of the King (being the Third Part of The Lord of the Rings) (London: Allen and Unwin, 1955), in Image and Imagination: Essays and Reviews. Edited by Walter Hooper. Cambridge University Press. 2013: 108.
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tnedibleoils · 3 months ago
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A Festival of Devotion, Modaks and Diyas
As the day arrives, it’s time to welcome the god of wisdom and fun, Lord Ganesh, into our home. Known for his deep love for family and his fondness for modaks, he is known as the remover of obstacles and harbinger of new beginnings. Ganesh Chaturthi is a spectacular that brings families, friends, and communities together. From mouth-watering scrumptiousness to a glittering, sparkling atmosphere, it is joyous.
Let’s bring Ganesh home!
Bringing the almighty of new beginnings is a heartfelt celebration known as Sthapna. It begins with carefully preparing a thali. Adorned with flowers, incense sticks, kumkum, sandalwood paste, and most importantly, diya and oil from the manufacturer of lamp oil. Each of these elements symbolises different aspects of devotion and creates an impeccable ambience of reverence and celebration. This plays an important role in the Sthapna. Preparing the aarthi thali is an art that can be aesthetically prepared. 
As the Sthapna is complete, the next festival delight is food. Festival means food. Ganesh Chaturthi is known for its delectables, symbolising devotion and love. Yes, the main star of the festival is Modaks. Made of coconut, lentils, and jaggery fillings steamed or fried in oil from some of the best sunflower oil manufacturers in India, it is considered Ganesha’s favourite. Apart from these puran poli, sweet flatbread or even savouries are made. The festive is now a joyous celebration with Sthapna, Aarthi, and a delectable feast. This Ganesh Chaturthi, let the atmosphere be filled with the divine presence of Lord Ganesha, with family and friends, and the aroma of the delicacies; let the heartfelt prayers be as memorable as Ganesh Chaturthi. 
About Sundew Sunflower Oil:
Tamil Naadu Edible Oils is the leading manufacturer of lamp oil and exporter of lamp oil, which produces premium-quality oil for cooking and lamps. As one of the best cooking oil manufacturers in Tamil Nadu, TNEO is committed to delivering quality oils that are affordable as well as light in texture. The oil is versatile and enhances the taste of every dish and every cuisine effortlessly. Choose Sundew or Jayaa Jyothi from Tamil Naadu Edible Oil. 
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rene-hl-trashcan · 3 months ago
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I was tagged by @starryslytherin0 (≧◡≦)
LAST SONG? - "Smoke and Mirrors" Cover by RafScrap【White Sanctuary】 Brain goes straight to brainrot town with this one and I keep thinking of how dark obsessive Sylvia would go down this route against Avania & Sebastian. That part where the lyrics go "Won't you tell me that you'll stay? Now that he's not in my way?" have no business to hit me with that dramatic brainrot.
FAVORITE COLOR? - Navy and dark purple.
CURRENTLY WATCHING? - Nothing, tbh. I'm kinda busy with work to have spare time watching anything. The last thing I watched was The Apothecary Diaries and the first 2 episodes of Solo-Levelling. Been too busy to watch anything else since.
LAST MOVIE? - Oh god.... Believe it or not, it was Avengers: End Game ... 💀💀 I genuinely forgot how long that was. Been meaning to watch a couple of new ones that I'm interested in like FNAF (all hail my retired Youtube Lord, Matpat), Inside Out 2, and a couple of local horror movies but every time I either want to go out to the cinema or open my streaming service, work/stuff came in and I ended up too tired to watch it.
SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? - Spicy AND savoury. I'm part of the Asian continent, and my hometown is specialised in spicy food; it's a disgrace of the bloodline to say anything else.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS? - Single, but married to my job. It's a love-hate marriage. We had our good and bad days. I love my job tho. (¯▿¯)
CURRENT OBSESSIONS? - My gremlins, my beloved pixel womb nuggets whom I will never plan to have in real life. My blog is a tiny portion of my love and obsession with these unhinged chaotic children. They live in my head rent-free and I don't want it any other way.
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? - "Can humans survive if they're stabbed through the throat?" („• ᴗ •„)
I dunno who else to tag because everyone who I talk to here on Tumblr has already been tagged.
tag nine people you want to get to know better!
thank you @myokk you're the sweetest ❤️ I've never done one of these before but I'll give it a try:
LAST SONG? - Challa by Rabbi Shergill (lately I just feel like having Bollywood songs playing in the background while cooking)
FAVORITE COLOR? - I like warm and earthy tones but also dark Greens and Blues
CURRENTLY WATCHING? - The 8 Show (which is absolutely fantastic and I highly recommend it)
LAST MOVIE? - Smile (which I was a bit sceptical about based on the trailers but it's actually really good)
SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? - Sweet! Cakes and stuff, but there's also a lot of sweet main dishes in Germany and I like those a lot
RELATIONSHIP STATUS? - taken, but I like to keep my private life private
CURRENT OBSESSIONS? - my Ominis fic, and also all the fantastic Sebinis art and fics I've found the last couple of weeks
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? - "my apologies" because I wanted to make sure that really is a polite/formal way of saying "I'm sorry" and that I haven't been using it wrong the whole time
tagging (not sure who'd be into this and if you're not, just ignore this): @sparxyv, @ps-cactus, @pr0serpinas, @huffleflufflefly, @rypnami, @alibasnur, @ravenwind-75
(I know that's not nine so whoever else wants to do this, feel yourself tagged❤️)
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8th July >> Mass Readings (Except USA)
Saturday, Thirteenth Week in Ordinary Time 
or
Saint Kilian, Bishop and Martyr 
or
Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary. 
Saturday, Thirteenth Week in Ordinary Time 
(Liturgical Colour: Green: A (1))
First Reading Genesis 27:1-5,15-29 Jacob obtains Isaac's blessing by fraud.
Isaac had grown old, and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see. He summoned his elder son Esau. ‘My son!’ he said to him, and the latter answered, ‘I am here.’ Then he said, ‘See, I am old and do not know when I may die. Now take your weapons, your quiver and bow; go out into the country and hunt me some game. Make me the kind of savoury I like and bring it to me, so that I may eat, and give you my blessing before I die.’
Rebekah happened to be listening while Isaac was talking to his son Esau. So when Esau went into the country to hunt game for his father, Rebekah took her elder son Esau’s best clothes, which she had in the house, and dressed her younger son Jacob in them, covering his arms and the smooth part of his neck with the skins of the kids. Then she handed the savoury and the bread she had made to her son Jacob.
He presented himself before his father and said, ‘Father.’ ‘I am here;’ was the reply ‘who are you, my son?’ Jacob said to his father, ‘I am Esau your first-born; I have done as you told me. Please get up and take your place and eat the game I have brought and then give me your blessing.’ Isaac said to his son, ‘How quickly you found it, my son!’ ‘It was the Lord your God’ he answered ‘who put it in my path.’ Isaac said to Jacob, ‘Come here, then, and let me touch you, my son, to know if you are my son Esau or not.’ Jacob came close to his father Isaac, who touched him and said, ‘The voice is Jacob’s voice but the arms are the arms of Esau!’ He did not recognise him, for his arms were hairy like his brother Esau’s, and so he blessed him. He said, ‘Are you really my son Esau?’ And he replied, ‘I am.’ Isaac said, ‘Bring it here that I may eat the game my son has brought, and so may give you my blessing.’ He brought it to him and he ate; he offered him wine, and he drank. His father Isaac said to him, ‘Come closer, and kiss me, my son.’ He went closer and kissed his father, who smelled the smell of his clothes. He blessed him, saying:
‘Yes, the smell of my son is like the smell of a fertile field blessed by the Lord. May God give you dew from heaven, and the richness of the earth, abundance of grain and wine! May nations serve you and peoples bow down before you! Be master of your brothers; may the sons of your mother bow down before you! Cursed be he who curses you; blessed be he who blesses you!’
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 134(135):1-6
R/ Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good. or R/ Alleluia!
Praise the name of the Lord, praise him, servants of the Lord, who stand in the house of the Lord in the courts of the house of our God.
R/ Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good. or R/ Alleluia!
Praise the Lord for the Lord is good. Sing a psalm to his name for he is loving. For the Lord has chosen Jacob for himself and Israel for his own possession.
R/ Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good. or R/ Alleluia!
For I know the Lord is great, that our Lord is high above all gods. The Lord does whatever he wills, in heaven, on earth, in the seas.
R/ Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good. or R/ Alleluia!
Gospel Acclamation Psalm 118:135
Alleluia, alleluia! Let your face shine on your servant, and teach me your decrees. Alleluia!
Or: John 10:27
Alleluia, alleluia! The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice, says the Lord, I know them and they follow me. Alleluia!
Gospel Matthew 9:14-17 When the bridegroom is taken from them, then they will fast.
John’s disciples came to him and said, ‘Why is it that we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not?’ Jesus replied, ‘Surely the bridegroom’s attendants would never think of mourning as long as the bridegroom is still with them? But the time will come for the bridegroom to be taken away from them, and then they will fast. No one puts a piece of unshrunken cloth on to an old cloak, because the patch pulls away from the cloak and the tear gets worse. Nor do people put new wine into old wineskins; if they do, the skins burst, the wine runs out, and the skins are lost. No; they put new wine into fresh skins and both are preserved.’
The Gospel of the Lord
R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
---------------------------
Saint Kilian, Bishop and Martyr 
(Liturgical Colour: Red: A (1))
(Readings for the memorial)
(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)
Either:
First Reading 2 Chronicles 24:18-22 'You have deserted the Lord: now he deserts you'.
The Judaeans abandoned the Temple of the Lord, the God of their ancestors, for the worship of sacred poles and idols. Because of their guilt, God’s anger fell on Judah and Jerusalem. He sent them prophets to bring them back to the Lord, but when these gave their message, they would not listen. The spirit of God took possession of Zechariah son of Jehoiada the priest. He stood up before the people and said, ‘God says this, “Why do you transgress the commandments of the Lord to no good purpose? You have deserted the Lord, now he deserts you.”’ They then plotted against him and by order of the king stoned him in the court of the Temple of the Lord. King Joash, forgetful of the kindness that Jehoiada, the father of Zechariah, had shown him, killed Jehoiada’s son who cried out as he died, ‘The Lord sees and he will avenge!’
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
OR: --------
First reading 2 Maccabees 6:18,21,24-31 I am glad to suffer because of the awe which he inspires in me
Eleazar, one of the foremost teachers of the Law, a man already advanced in years and of most noble appearance, was being forced to open his mouth wide to swallow pig’s flesh. Those in charge of the impious banquet, because of their long-standing friendship with him, took him aside and privately urged him to have meat brought of a kind he could properly use, prepared by himself, and only pretend to eat the portions of sacrificial meat as prescribed by the king. ‘Such pretence’ he said ‘does not square with our time of life; many young people would suppose that Eleazar at the age of ninety had conformed to the foreigners’ way of life, and because I had played this part for the sake of a paltry brief spell of life might themselves be led astray on my account; I should only bring defilement and disgrace on my old age. Even though for the moment I avoid execution by man, I can never, living or dead, elude the grasp of the Almighty. Therefore if I am man enough to quit this life here and now I shall prove myself worthy of my old age, and I shall have left the young a noble example of how to make a good death, eagerly and generously, for the venerable and holy laws.’ With these words he went straight to the block. His escorts, so recently well disposed towards him, turned against him after this declaration, which they regarded as sheer madness. Just before he died under the blows, he groaned aloud and said, ‘The Lord whose knowledge is holy sees clearly that, though I might have escaped death, whatever agonies of body I now endure under this bludgeoning, in my soul I am glad to suffer, because of the awe which he inspires in me.’ This was how he died, leaving his death as an example of nobility and a record of virtue not only for the young but for the great majority of the nation.
OR: --------
First reading 2 Maccabees 7:1-2,9-14 'The King of the world will raise us up to live for ever'
There were seven brothers who were arrested with their mother. The king tried to force them to taste pig’s flesh, which the Law forbids, by torturing them with whips and scourges. One of them, acting as spokesman for the others, said, ‘What are you trying to find out from us? We are prepared to die rather than break the laws of our ancestors.’ With his last breath the second brother exclaimed, ‘Inhuman fiend, you may discharge us from this present life, but the King of the world will raise us up, since it is for his laws that we die, to live again for ever.’ After him, they amused themselves with the third, who on being asked for his tongue promptly thrust it out and boldly held out his hands, with these honourable words, ‘It was heaven that gave me these limbs; for the sake of his laws I disdain them; from him I hope to receive them again.’ The king and his attendants were astounded at the young man’s courage and his utter indifference to suffering. When this one was dead they subjected the fourth to the same savage torture. When he neared his end he cried, ‘Ours is the better choice, to meet death at men’s hands, yet relying on God’s promise that we shall be raised up by him; whereas for you there can be no resurrection, no new life.’
OR: --------
First reading 2 Maccabees 7:1,20-23,27-29 Make death welcome, so that in the day of mercy I may receive you back
There were seven brothers who were arrested with their mother. The king tried to force them to taste pig’s flesh, which the Law forbids, by torturing them with whips and scourges. But the mother was especially admirable and worthy of honourable remembrance, for she watched the death of seven sons in the course of a single day, and endured it resolutely because of her hopes in the Lord. Indeed she encouraged each of them in the language of their ancestors; filled with noble conviction, she reinforced her womanly argument with manly courage, saying to them, ‘I do not know how you appeared in my womb; it was not I who endowed you with breath and life, I had not the shaping of your every part. It is the creator of the world, ordaining the process of man’s birth and presiding over the origin of all things, who in his mercy will most surely give you back both breath and life, seeing that you now despise your own existence for the sake of his laws.’ She said to her youngest son, ‘My son, have pity on me; I carried you nine months in my womb and suckled you three years, fed you and reared you to the age you are now (and cherished you). I implore you, my child, observe heaven and earth, consider all that is in them, and acknowledge that God made them out of what did not exist, and that mankind comes into being in the same way. Do not fear this executioner, but prove yourself worthy of your brothers, and make death welcome, so that in the day of mercy I may receive you back in your brothers’ company.’
OR: --------
First reading Wisdom 3:1-9 The souls of the virtuous are in the hands of God
The souls of the virtuous are in the hands of God, no torment shall ever touch them. In the eyes of the unwise, they did appear to die, their going looked like a disaster, their leaving us, like annihilation; but they are in peace. If they experienced punishment as men see it, their hope was rich with immortality; slight was their affliction, great will their blessings be. God has put them to the test and proved them worthy to be with him; he has tested them like gold in a furnace, and accepted them as a holocaust. When the time comes for his visitation they will shine out; as sparks run through the stubble, so will they. They shall judge nations, rule over peoples, and the Lord will be their king for ever. They who trust in him will understand the truth, those who are faithful will live with him in love; for grace and mercy await those he has chosen.
OR: --------
First reading Ecclesiasticus 51:1-8 Thanks to God the saviour
I will give thanks to you, Lord and King, and praise you, God my saviour, I give thanks to your name; for you have been protector and support to me, and redeemed my body from destruction, from the snare of the lying tongue, from lips that fabricate falsehood; and in the presence of those around me you have been my support, you have redeemed me, true to the greatness of your mercy and of your name, from the fangs of those who would devour me, from the hands of those seeking my life, from the many ordeals which I have endured, from the stifling heat which hemmed me in, from the heart of a fire which I had not kindled, from deep in the belly of Sheol, from the unclean tongue and the lying word – the perjured tongue slandering me to the king. My soul has been close to death, my life had gone down to the brink of Sheol. They were surrounding me on every side, there was no-one to support me; I looked for someone to help – in vain. Then I remembered your mercy, Lord, and your deeds from earliest times, how you deliver those who wait for you patiently, and save them from the clutches of their enemies.
EITHER: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 30(31):3-4,6,8,16-17
Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.
Be a rock of refuge for me, a mighty stronghold to save me, for you are my rock, my stronghold. For your name’s sake, lead me and guide me.
Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.
Into your hands I commend my spirit. It is you who will redeem me, Lord. As for me, I trust in the Lord: let me be glad and rejoice in your love.
Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.
My life is in your hands, deliver me from the hands of those who hate me. Let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your love.
Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 33(34):2-9
From all my terrors the Lord set me free.
I will bless the Lord at all times, his praise always on my lips; in the Lord my soul shall make its boast. The humble shall hear and be glad.
From all my terrors the Lord set me free.
Glorify the Lord with me. Together let us praise his name. I sought the Lord and he answered me; from all my terrors he set me free.
From all my terrors the Lord set me free.
Look towards him and be radiant; let your faces not be abashed. This poor man called, the Lord heard him and rescued him from all his distress.
From all my terrors the Lord set me free.
The angel of the Lord is encamped around those who revere him, to rescue them. Taste and see that the Lord is good. He is happy who seeks refuge in him.
From all my terrors the Lord set me free.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 123(124):2-5,7-8
Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.
If the Lord had not been on our side when men rose up against us, then would they have swallowed us alive when their anger was kindled.
Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.
Then would the waters have engulfed us, the torrent gone over us; over our head would have swept the raging waters.
Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.
Indeed the snare has been broken and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
Our life, like a bird, has escaped from the snare of the fowler.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 125(126):1-6
Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.
When the Lord delivered Zion from bondage, it seemed like a dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, on our lips there were songs.
Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.
The heathens themselves said: ‘What marvels the Lord worked for them!’ What marvels the Lord worked for us! Indeed we were glad.
Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.
Deliver us, O Lord, from our bondage as streams in dry land. Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.
Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.
They go out, they go out, full of tears, carrying seed for the sowing: they come back, they come back, full of song, carrying their sheaves.
Those who are sowing in tears will sing when they reap.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 15(16):1-2,5,7-8,11
You are my inheritance, O Lord.
Preserve me, God, I take refuge in you. I say to the Lord: ‘You are my God.’ O Lord, it is you who are my portion and cup; it is you yourself who are my prize.
You are my inheritance, O Lord.
I will bless the Lord who gives me counsel, who even at night directs my heart. I keep the Lord ever in my sight: since he is at my right hand, I shall stand firm.
You are my inheritance, O Lord.
You will show me the path of life, the fullness of joy in your presence, at your right hand happiness for ever.
You are my inheritance, O Lord.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 22(23):1-3a,5-6
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want. Fresh and green are the pastures where he gives me repose.
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.
Near restful waters he leads me, to revive my drooping spirit. He guides me along the right path; he is true to his name.
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.
You have prepared a banquet for me in the sight of my foes. My head you have anointed with oil; my cup is overflowing.
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.
Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me all the days of my life. In the Lord’s own house shall I dwell for ever and ever.
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 39(40):2,4,7-10
Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.
I waited, I waited for the Lord and he stooped down to me; he heard my cry. He put a new song into my mouth, praise of our God.
Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.
You do not ask for sacrifice and offerings, but an open ear. You do not ask for holocaust and victim. Instead, here am I.
Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.
In the scroll of the book it stands written that I should do your will. My God, I delight in your law in the depth of my heart.
Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.
Your justice I have proclaimed in the great assembly. My lips I have not sealed; you know it, O Lord.
Here I am, Lord! I come to do your will.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 88(89):2-5,21-22,25,27
I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.
I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord; through all ages my mouth will proclaim your truth. Of this I am sure, that your love lasts for ever, that your truth is firmly established as the heavens.
I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.
‘I have made a covenant with my chosen one; I have sworn to David my servant: I will establish your dynasty for ever and set up your throne through all ages.
I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.
‘I have found David my servant and with my holy oil anointed him. My hand shall always be with him and my arm shall make him strong.
I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.
‘My truth and my love shall be with him; by my name his might shall be exalted. He will say to me: “You are my father, my God, the rock who saves me.”’
I will sing for ever of your love, O Lord.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 95(96):1-3,7-8,10
Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.
O sing a new song to the Lord, sing to the Lord all the earth. O sing to the Lord, bless his name.
Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.
Proclaim his help day by day, tell among the nations his glory and his wonders among all the peoples.
Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.
Give the Lord, you families of peoples, give the Lord glory and power; give the Lord the glory of his name.
Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.
Proclaim to the nations: ‘God is king.’ The world he made firm in its place; he will judge the peoples in fairness.
Proclaim the wonders of the Lord among all the peoples.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 105(106):19-23
O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.
They fashioned a calf at Horeb and worshipped an image of metal, exchanging the God who was their glory for the image of a bull that eats grass.
O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.
They forgot the God who was their saviour, who had done such great things in Egypt, such portents in the land of Ham, such marvels at the Red Sea.
O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.
For this he said he would destroy them, but Moses, the man he had chosen, stood in the breach before him, to turn back his anger from destruction.
O Lord, remember me out of the love you have for your people.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 109(110):1-4
You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.
The Lord’s revelation to my Master: ‘Sit on my right: your foes I will put beneath your feet.’
You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.
The Lord will wield from Zion your sceptre of power: rule in the midst of all your foes.
You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.
A prince from the day of your birth on the holy mountains; from the womb before the dawn I begot you.
You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.
The Lord has sworn an oath he will not change. ‘You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.’
You are a priest for ever, a priest like Melchizedek of old.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 116(117):1-2
Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News. or Alleluia!
O praise the Lord, all you nations, acclaim him all you peoples!
Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News. or Alleluia!
Strong is his love for us; he is faithful for ever.
Go out to the whole world; proclaim the Good News. or Alleluia!
Gospel Acclamation Mt5:10
Alleluia, alleluia! Happy those who are persecuted in the cause of right, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Alleluia!
Or: Jn17:19
Alleluia, alleluia! For their sake I consecrate myself, so that they too may be consecrated in the truth. Alleluia!
Or: 2Co1:3-4
Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed be God, a gentle Father and the God of all consolation, who comforts us in all our sorrows. Alleluia!
Or: Jm1:12
Alleluia, alleluia! Happy the man who stands firm, for he has proved himself, and will win the crown of life. Alleluia!
Or: 1P4:14
Alleluia, alleluia! It is a blessing for you when they insult you for bearing the name of Christ, for the Spirit of God rests on you. Alleluia!
Or: cf.Te Deum
Alleluia, alleluia! We praise you, O God, we acknowledge you to be the Lord; the noble army of martyrs praise you, O Lord. Alleluia!
EITHER: --------
Gospel Matthew 10:17-22 The Spirit of your Father will be speaking in you
Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Beware of men: they will hand you over to sanhedrins and scourge you in their synagogues. You will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the pagans. But when they hand you over, do not worry about how to speak or what to say; what you are to say will be given to you when the time comes; because it is not you who will be speaking; the Spirit of your Father will be speaking in you. ‘Brother will betray brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. You will be hated by all men on account of my name; but the man who stands firm to the end will be saved.’
OR: --------
Gospel Matthew 10:28-33 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body
Jesus said to his apostles: ‘Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; fear him rather who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Can you not buy two sparrows for a penny? And yet not one falls to the ground without your Father knowing. Why, every hair on your head has been counted. So there is no need to be afraid; you are worth more than hundreds of sparrows. ‘So if anyone declares himself for me in the presence of men, I will declare myself for him in the presence of my Father in heaven. But the one who disowns me in the presence of men, I will disown in the presence of my Father in heaven.’
OR: --------
Gospel Matthew 10:34-39 It is not peace I have come to bring, but a sword
Jesus instructed the Twelve as follows: ‘Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth: it is not peace I have come to bring, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man’s enemies will be those of his own household. ‘Anyone who prefers father or mother to me is not worthy of me. Anyone who prefers son or daughter to me is not worthy of me. Anyone who does not take his cross and follow in my footsteps is not worthy of me. Anyone who finds his life will lose it; anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it.’
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 9:23-26 The Son of Man is destined to suffer grievously
Jesus said: ‘If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross every day and follow me. For anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake, that man will save it. What gain, then, is it for a man to have won the whole world and to have lost or ruined his very self? For if anyone is ashamed of me and of my words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when he comes in his own glory and in the glory of the Father and the holy angels.’
OR: --------
Gospel John 12:24-26 If a grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies, it yields a rich harvest
Jesus said to his disciples:
‘I tell you, most solemnly, unless a wheat grain falls on the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain; but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest. Anyone who loves his life loses it; anyone who hates his life in this world will keep it for the eternal life. If a man serves me, he must follow me, wherever I am, my servant will be there too. If anyone serves me, my Father will honour him.’
OR: --------
Gospel John 15:18-21 The world hated me before it hated you
Jesus said to his disciples:
‘If the world hates you, remember that it hated me before you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you do not belong to the world, because my choice withdrew you from the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the words I said to you: A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you too; if they kept my word, they will keep yours as well. But it will be on my account that they will do all this, because they do not know the one who sent me.’
OR: --------
Gospel John 17:11-19 Father, keep those you have given me true to your name
Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and said:
‘Holy Father, keep those you have given me true to your name, so that they may be one like us. While I was with them, I kept those you had given me true to your name. I have watched over them and not one is lost except the one who chose to be lost, and this was to fulfil the scriptures. But now I am coming to you and while still in the world I say these things to share my joy with them to the full. I passed your word on to them, and the world hated them, because they belong to the world no more than I belong to the world. I am not asking you to remove them from the world, but to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world any more than I belong to the world. Consecrate them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world, and for their sake I consecrate myself so that they too may be consecrated in truth.’
-------------------------------
Saturday memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary 
(Liturgical Colour: White: A (1))
(Readings for the memorial)
(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Saturday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)
Either:
First Reading Genesis 3:9-15,20 The mother of all those who live.
After Adam had eaten of the tree the Lord God called to him. ‘Where are you?’ he asked. ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden;’ he replied ‘I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.’ ‘Who told you that you were naked?’ he asked ‘Have you been eating of the tree I forbade you to eat?’ The man replied, ‘It was the woman you put with me; she gave me the fruit, and I ate it.’ Then the Lord God asked the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman replied, ‘The serpent tempted me and I ate.’ Then the Lord God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this,
‘Be accursed beyond all cattle, all wild beasts. You shall crawl on your belly and eat dust every day of your life. I will make you enemies of each other: you and the woman, your offspring and her offspring. It will crush your head and you will strike its heel.’
The man named his wife ‘Eve’ because she was the mother of all those who live.
The Word of the Lord
R/ Thanks be to God.
OR: --------
First reading Genesis 12:1-7 All the tribes of the earth shall bless themselves by you
The Lord said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your family and your father’s house, for the land I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name so famous that it will be used as a blessing.
‘I will bless those who bless you: I will curse those who slight you. All the tribes of the earth shall bless themselves by you.’
So Abram went as the Lord told him, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran. Abram took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had amassed and the people they had acquired in Haran. They set off for the land of Canaan, and arrived there. Abram passed through the land as far as Shechem’s holy place, the Oak of Moreh. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. The Lord appeared to Abram and said, ‘It is to your descendants that I will give this land.’ So Abram built there an altar for the Lord who had appeared to him.
OR: --------
First reading 2 Samuel 7:1-5,8-11,16 The Lord will make you great; the Lord will make you a House
Once David had settled into his house and the Lord had given him rest from all the enemies surrounding him, the king said to the prophet Nathan, ‘Look, I am living in a house of cedar while the ark of God dwells in a tent.’ Nathan said to the king, ‘Go and do all that is in your mind, for the Lord is with you.’ But that very night the word of the Lord came to Nathan: ‘Go and tell my servant David, “Thus the Lord speaks: Are you the man to build me a house to dwell in? I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, to be leader of my people Israel; I have been with you on all your expeditions; I have cut off all your enemies before you. I will give you fame as great as the fame of the greatest on earth. I will provide a place for my people Israel; I will plant them there and they shall dwell in that place and never be disturbed again; nor shall the wicked continue to oppress them as they did, in the days when I appointed judges over my people Israel; I will give them rest from all their enemies. The Lord will make you great; the Lord will make you a House. Your House and your sovereignty will always stand secure before me and your throne be established for ever.”’
OR: --------
First reading 1 Chronicles 15:3-4,15-16,16:1-2 They brought in the ark of God and put it inside the tent that David had pitched for it
David gathered all Israel together to bring the ark of God up to the place he had prepared for it. David called together the sons of Aaron and the sons of Levi. And the Levites carried the ark of God with the shafts on their shoulders, as Moses had ordered in accordance with the word of the Lord. David then told the heads of the Levites to assign duties for their kinsmen as cantors, with their various instruments of music, harps and lyres and cymbals, to play joyful tunes. They brought the ark of God in and put it inside the tent that David had pitched for it; and they offered holocausts before God, and communion sacrifices. And when David had finished offering holocausts and communion sacrifices, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord.
OR: --------
First reading Proverbs 8:22-31 Before the earth came into being, Wisdom was born
The Wisdom of God cries aloud:
The Lord created me when his purpose first unfolded, before the oldest of his works. From everlasting I was firmly set, from the beginning, before earth came into being. The deep was not, when I was born, there were no springs to gush with water. Before the mountains were settled, before the hills, I came to birth; before he made the earth, the countryside, or the first grains of the world’s dust. When he fixed the heavens firm, I was there, when he drew a ring on the surface of the deep, when he thickened the clouds above, when he fixed fast the springs of the deep, when he assigned the sea its boundaries  – and the waters will not invade the shore – when he laid down the foundations of the earth, I was by his side, a master craftsman, delighting him day after day, ever at play in his presence, at play everywhere in his world, delighting to be with the sons of men.
OR: --------
First reading Ecclesiasticus 24:1-4,8-12,18-21 From eternity, in the beginning, God created wisdom
Wisdom speaks her own praises, in the midst of her people she glories in herself. She opens her mouth in the assembly of the Most High, she glories in herself in the presence of the Mighty One: ‘I came forth from the mouth of the Most High, and I covered the earth like a mist. I had my tent in the heights, and my throne in a pillar of cloud. Then the creator of all things instructed me, and he who created me fixed a place for my tent. He said, “Pitch your tent in Jacob, make Israel your inheritance.” From eternity, in the beginning, he created me, and for eternity I shall remain. I ministered before him in the holy tabernacle, and thus was I established on Zion. In the beloved city he has given me rest, and in Jerusalem I wield my authority. I have taken root in a privileged people, in the Lord’s property, in his inheritance. Approach me, you who desire me, and take your fill of my fruits, for memories of me are sweeter than honey, inheriting me is sweeter than the honeycomb. They who eat me will hunger for more, they who drink me will thirst for more. Whoever listens to me will never have to blush, whoever acts as I dictate will never sin.’
OR: --------
First reading Isaiah 7:10-14,8:10 The maiden is with child
The Lord spoke to Ahaz and said, ‘Ask the Lord your God for a sign for yourself coming either from the depths of Sheol or from the heights above.’ ‘No,’ Ahaz answered ‘I will not put the Lord to the test.’ Then Isaiah said:
‘Listen now, House of David: are you not satisfied with trying the patience of men without trying the patience of my God, too? The Lord himself, therefore, will give you a sign. It is this: the maiden is with child and will soon give birth to a son whom she will call Immanuel, a name which means “God-is-with-us.”’
OR: --------
First reading Isaiah 9:1-6 A Son is given to us
The people that walked in darkness has seen a great light; on those who live in a land of deep shadow a light has shone. You have made their gladness greater, you have made their joy increase; they rejoice in your presence as men rejoice at harvest time, as men are happy when they are dividing the spoils.
For the yoke that was weighing on him, the bar across his shoulders, the rod of his oppressor, these you break as on the day of Midian.
For all the footgear of battle, every cloak rolled in blood, is burnt, and consumed by fire.
For there is a child born for us, a son given to us and dominion is laid on his shoulders; and this is the name they give him: Wonder-Counsellor, Mighty-God, Eternal-Father, Prince-of-Peace.
OR: --------
First reading Isaiah 61:9-11 I exult for joy in the Lord
Their race will be famous throughout the nations, their descendants throughout the peoples. All who see them will admit that they are a race whom the Lord has blessed.
‘I exult for joy in the Lord, my soul rejoices in my God, for he has clothed me in the garments of salvation, he has wrapped me in the cloak of integrity, like a bridegroom wearing his wreath, like a bride adorned in her jewels.
‘For as the earth makes fresh things grow, as a garden makes seeds spring up, so will the Lord make both integrity and praise spring up in the sight of the nations.’
OR: --------
First reading Micah 5:1-4 He will stand and feed his flock with the power of the Lord
The Lord says this:
But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, the least of the clans of Judah, out of you will be born for me the one who is to rule over Israel; his origin goes back to the distant past, to the days of old. The Lord is therefore going to abandon them till the time when she who is to give birth gives birth. Then the remnant of his brothers will come back to the sons of Israel. He will stand and feed his flock with the power of the Lord, with the majesty of the name of his God. They will live secure, for from then on he will extend his power to the ends of the land. He himself will be peace.
OR: --------
First reading Zechariah 2:14-17 'I am coming', says the Lord
Sing, rejoice, daughter of Zion; for I am coming to dwell in the middle of you – it is the Lord who speaks. Many nations will join the Lord, on that day; they will become his people. But he will remain among you, and you will know that the Lord of Hosts has sent me to you. But the Lord will hold Judah as his portion in the Holy Land, and again make Jerusalem his very own. Let all mankind be silent before the Lord! For he is awaking and is coming from his holy dwelling.
EITHER: --------
Responsorial Psalm 1 Samuel 2:1,4-8
My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.
My heart exults in the Lord. I find my strength in my God; my mouth laughs at my enemies as I rejoice in your saving help.
My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.
The bows of the mighty are broken, but the weak are clothed with strength. Those with plenty must labour for bread, but the hungry need work no more. The childless wife has children now but the fruitful wife bears no more.
My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.
It is the Lord who gives life and death, he brings men to the grave and back; it is the Lord who gives poverty and riches. He brings men low and raises them on high.
My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.
He lifts up the lowly from the dust, from the dungheap he raises the poor to set him in the company of princes to give him a glorious throne. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, on them he has set the world.
My heart exults in the Lord my Saviour.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Judith 13:18a-19
You are the highest honour of our race!
May you be blessed, my daughter, by God Most High, beyond all women on earth; and may the Lord God be blessed, the Creator of heaven and earth.
You are the highest honour of our race!
The trust you have shown shall not pass from the memories of men, but shall ever remind them of the power of God.
You are the highest honour of our race!
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 44(45):11-12,14-17
Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words.
Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words: forget your own people and your father’s house. So will the king desire your beauty: He is your lord, pay homage to him.
Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words.
The daughter of the king is clothed with splendour, her robes embroidered with pearls set in gold. She is led to the king with her maiden companions.
Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words.
They are escorted amid gladness and joy; they pass within the palace of the king. Sons shall be yours in place of your fathers: you will make them princes over all the earth.
Listen, O daughter, give ear to my words.
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Psalm 112(113):1-7
May the name of the Lord be blessed for evermore! or Alleluia!
Praise, O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord! May the name of the Lord be blessed both now and for evermore!
May the name of the Lord be blessed for evermore! or Alleluia!
From the rising of the sun to its setting praised be the name of the Lord! High above all nations is the Lord, above the heavens his glory.
May the name of the Lord be blessed for evermore! or Alleluia!
Who is like the Lord, our God, who has risen on high to his throne yet stoops from the heights to look down, to look down upon heaven and earth? From the dust he lifts up the lowly, from the dungheap he raises the poor
May the name of the Lord be blessed for evermore! or Alleluia!
OR: --------
Responsorial Psalm Luke 1:46-55
The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name! or Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who bore the Son of the eternal Father.
My soul glorifies the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour.
The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name! or Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who bore the Son of the eternal Father.
He looks on his servant in her nothingness; henceforth all ages will call me blessed. The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy his name!
The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name! or Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who bore the Son of the eternal Father.
His mercy is from age to age, on those who fear him. He puts forth his arm in strength and scatters the proud-hearted.
The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name! or Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who bore the Son of the eternal Father.
He casts the mighty from their thrones and raises the lowly. He fills the starving with good things, sends the rich away empty.
The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name! or Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who bore the Son of the eternal Father.
He protects Israel, his servant, remembering his mercy, the mercy promised to our fathers, to Abraham and his sons for ever.
The Almighty works marvels for me. Holy is his name! or Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who bore the Son of the eternal Father.
Gospel Acclamation cf.Lk1:28
Alleluia, alleluia! Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee! Blessed art thou among women. Alleluia!
Or: cf.Lk1:45
Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who believed that the promise made her by the Lord would be fulfilled. Alleluia!
Or: cf.Lk2:19
Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed is the Virgin Mary, who treasured the word of God and pondered it in her heart. Alleluia!
Or: Lk11:28
Alleluia, alleluia! Happy are those who hear the word of God and keep it. Alleluia!
Or:
Alleluia, alleluia! Blessed are you, holy Virgin Mary, and most worthy of all praise, for the sun of justice, Christ our God, was born of you. Alleluia!
Or:
Alleluia, alleluia! Happy is the Virgin Mary, who, without dying, won the palm of martyrdom beneath the cross of the Lord. Alleluia!
EITHER: --------
Gospel Matthew 1:1-16,18-23 The ancestry and conception of Jesus Christ
A genealogy of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham:
Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah, Tamar being their mother, Perez was the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram, Ram was the father of Amminadab, Amminadab the father of Nahshon, Nahshon the father of Salmon, Salmon was the father of Boaz, Rahab being his mother, Boaz was the father of Obed, Ruth being his mother, Obed was the father of Jesse; and Jesse was the father of King David.
David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife, Solomon was the father of Rehoboam, Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa, Asa was the father of Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, Joram the father of Azariah, Azariah was the father of Jotham, Jotham the father of Ahaz, Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, Hezekiah was the father of Manasseh, Manasseh the father of Amon, Amon the father of Josiah; and Josiah was the father of Jechoniah and his brothers. Then the deportation to Babylon took place.
After the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel, Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, Zerubbabel was the father of Abiud, Abiud the father of Eliakim, Eliakim the father of Azor, Azor was the father of Zadok, Zadok the father of Achim, Achim the father of Eliud, Eliud was the father of Eleazar, Eleazar the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob; and Jacob was the father of Joseph the husband of Mary; of her was born Jesus who is called Christ.
This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph; but before they came to live together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph; being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally. He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfil the words spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will call him Emmanuel,
a name which means ‘God-is-with-us.’
OR: --------
Gospel Matthew 1:18-23 How Jesus Christ came to be born
This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph; but before they came to live together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph; being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally. He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfil the words spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will call him Emmanuel,
a name which means ‘God-is-with-us.’
OR: --------
Gospel Matthew 2:13-15,19-23 The flight into Egypt and the return to Nazareth
After the wise men had left, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother with you, and escape into Egypt, and stay there until I tell you, because Herod intends to search for the child and do away with him.’ So Joseph got up and, taking the child and his mother with him, left that night for Egypt, where he stayed until Herod was dead. This was to fulfil what the Lord had spoken through the prophet:
I called my son out of Egypt.
After Herod’s death, the angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother with you and go back to the land of Israel, for those who wanted to kill the child are dead.’ So Joseph got up and, taking the child and his mother with him, went back to the land of Israel. But when he learnt that Archelaus had succeeded his father Herod as ruler of Judaea he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream he left for the region of Galilee. There he settled in a town called Nazareth. In this way the words spoken through the prophets were to be fulfilled:
‘He will be called a Nazarene.’
OR: --------
Gospel Matthew 12:46-50 My mother and my brothers are anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven
Jesus was speaking to the crowds when his mother and his brothers appeared; they were standing outside and were anxious to have a word with him. But to the man who told him this Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand towards his disciples he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven, he is my brother and sister and mother.’
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 1:26-38 'I am the handmaid of the Lord'
The angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the House of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. He went in and said to her, ‘Rejoice, so highly favoured! The Lord is with you.’ She was deeply disturbed by these words and asked herself what this greeting could mean, but the angel said to her, ‘Mary, do not be afraid; you have won God’s favour. Listen! You are to conceive and bear a son, and you must name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David; he will rule over the House of Jacob for ever and his reign will have no end.’ Mary said to the angel, ‘But how can this come about, since I am a virgin?’ ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you’ the angel answered ‘and the power of the Most High will cover you with its shadow. And so the child will be holy and will be called Son of God. Know this too: your kinswoman Elizabeth has, in her old age, herself conceived a son, and she whom people called barren is now in her sixth month, for nothing is impossible to God.’ ‘I am the handmaid of the Lord,’ said Mary ‘let what you have said be done to me.’ And the angel left her.
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 1:39-47 Blessed is she who believed the promise
Mary set out and went as quickly as she could to a town in the hill country of Judah. She went into Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth. Now as soon as Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leapt in her womb and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. She gave a loud cry and said, ‘Of all women you are the most blessed, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. Why should I be honoured with a visit from the mother of my Lord? For the moment your greeting reached my ears, the child in my womb leapt for joy. Yes, blessed is she who believed that the promise made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.’ And Mary said:
‘My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord and my spirit exults in God my saviour.’
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 2:1-14 'In the town of David a saviour has been born to you'
Caesar Augustus issued a decree for a census of the whole world to be taken. This census – the first – took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria, and everyone went to his own town to be registered. So Joseph set out from the town of Nazareth in Galilee and travelled up to Judaea, to the town of David called Bethlehem, since he was of David’s House and line, in order to be registered together with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to a son, her first born. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them at the inn. In the countryside close by there were shepherds who lived in the fields and took it in turns to watch their flocks during the night. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone round them. They were terrified, but the angel said, ‘Do not be afraid. Listen, I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people. Today in the town of David a saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. And here is a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.’ And suddenly with the angel there was a great throng of the heavenly host, praising God and singing:
‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace to men who enjoy his favour.’
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 2:15-19 The shepherds hurried to Bethlehem and found the baby lying in the manger
Now when the angels had gone from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let us go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.’ So they hurried away and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds had to say. As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart.
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 2:27-35 'A sword will pierce your soul too'
Prompted by the Spirit Simeon came to the Temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the Law required, he took him into his arms and blessed God; and he said:
‘Now, Master, you can let your servant go in peace, just as you promised; because my eyes have seen the salvation which you have prepared for all the nations to see, a light to enlighten the pagans and the glory of your people Israel.’
As the child’s father and mother stood there wondering at the things that were being said about him, Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, ‘You see this child: he is destined for the fall and for the rising of many in Israel, destined to be a sign that is rejected – and a sword will pierce your own soul too – so that the secret thoughts of many may be laid bare.’
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 2:41-52 Mary stored up all these things in her heart
Every year the parents of Jesus used to go to Jerusalem for the feast of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up for the feast as usual. When they were on their way home after the feast, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem without his parents knowing it. They assumed he was with the caravan, and it was only after a day’s journey that they went to look for him among their relations and acquaintances. When they failed to find him they went back to Jerusalem looking for him everywhere. Three days later, they found him in the Temple, sitting among the doctors, listening to them, and asking them questions; and all those who heard him were astounded at his intelligence and his replies. They were overcome when they saw him, and his mother said to him, ‘My child, why have, you done this to us? See how worried your father and I have been, looking for you.’ ‘Why were you looking for me?’ he replied. ‘Did you not know that I must be busy with my Father’s affairs?’ But they did not understand what he meant. He then went down with them and came to Nazareth and lived under their authority. His mother stored up all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom, in stature, and in favour with God and men.
OR: --------
Gospel Luke 11:27-28 'Happy the womb that bore you and the breasts you sucked!'
As Jesus was speaking, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said, ‘Happy the womb that bore you and the breasts you sucked!’ But he replied, ‘Still happier those who hear the word of God and keep it!’
OR: --------
Gospel John 2:1-11 'My hour has not come yet' - 'Do whatever he tells you'
There was a wedding at Cana in Galilee. The mother of Jesus was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited. When they ran out of wine, since the wine provided for the wedding was all finished, the mother of Jesus said to him, ‘They have no wine.’ Jesus said ‘Woman, why turn to me? My hour has not come yet.’ His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’ There were six stone water jars standing there, meant for the ablutions that are customary among the Jews: each could hold twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, ‘Fill the jars with water’, and they filled them to the brim. ‘Draw some out now’ he told them ‘and take it to the steward.’ They did this; the steward tasted the water, and it had turned into wine. Having no idea where it came from – only the servants who had drawn the water knew – the steward called the bridegroom and said, ‘People generally serve the best wine first, and keep the cheaper sort till the guests have had plenty to drink; but you have kept the best wine till now.’ This was the first of the signs given by Jesus: it was given at Cana in Galilee. He let his glory be seen, and his disciples believed in him.
OR: --------
Gospel John 19:25-27 'Woman, this is your son'
Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. Seeing his mother and the disciple he loved standing near her, Jesus said to his mother, ‘Woman, this is your son.’ Then to the disciple he said, ‘This is your mother.’ And from that moment the disciple made a place for her in his home.
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acadamycelebrancy65 · 2 years ago
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Register As A Marriage Officer Necessities
To say that the event is a paean to Afrikaner kitsch overlooks the reality that it's also a reactionary celebration of “whiteness”. Visit for pleased hour between 6pm and 7pm to take pleasure in half worth on all drinks. Enjoy joyful hour between 7pm and 8pm and pay half worth on drinks each Tuesday and Thursday. Purchase selected pizzas and pastas on the menu and only pay between R55 and R65, legitimate every Sunday and Monday from 5pm. Enjoy a sushi buffet boasting over 30 sushi varieties for only R185 per particular person.
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In this Act, a wedding is outlined as one that is solely for opposite-sex couples. Couples who choose to form civil partnerships are responding to a societal trend towards extra equality, versus those that consider marriage to be oppressive because of inflexible gender roles and expectations. Through his years as an ambulance pilot / paramedic, Gray has learned lessons in compassion and sensitivity. The request for Baptism for a child is seen by the Church as an indication that the parents celebrants recognise the importance of God in their lives and earnestly seek to share this relationship with their child. The time of preparation for Baptism is a chance to strengthen that religion or to revisit that religion – in the case of those who have lapsed from the practise of their faith. The parish priest and the parish group provide whatever help and assist is required by new parents who wish to both renew or revisit their religion.
It is, however, your accountability and that of your family to participate in all elements of the church’s life especially by embracing Jesus’ call to discipleship. Here we should pause to make clear who qualifies as a Catholic godparent. A Catholic who doesn't apply the faith by regularly attending Mass or who's in an invalid marriage disqualifies himself from being a godparent. The Baptism of a kid is a time for celebration and joy. We hope that our parish shall be ready that will assist you to plan and prepare for the celebration of this Sacrament in the best possible way.
If the bridal couple insists on sporting gloves please keep in mind that these will have to be removed for the exchange of vows and the change of rings. The Lord might seal and strengthen your love within the presence of the Church's minister and this community. He has already consecrated you in Baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a particular Sacrament so that you celebrant training may assume the duties of Christian marriage in mutual and lasting constancy. The celebrant will assist you with a choice of a suitable psalm which can be printed in your wedding booklet. Alternatively you could choose a hymn primarily based on a psalm or a passage of scripture.
Confirm in case you have a choice of supplier for each area of your marriage ceremony or does the planner solely work with one caterer, one photographer, and so forth. Any asset excluded from the accrual system under the ANC, in addition to another asset that the partner acquired by virtue of his/her possession or former possession of such asset. The time period celebrant course ‘accrual’ is used to denote the net enhance in value of a spouse’s estate since the date of marriage. In different words, what was yours before the marriage remains yours, and what you have earned in the course of the marriage belongs to both of you.
Which are two of the smallest municipalities in the country. It is like coffee, like chocolatebecause it's primarily raw sewage. The point I’m making an attempt to make is folks write no matter they want to … I love Berold; I love Charles] Bukowski. I wouldn't have something in frequent with them so far as their socialisation or whatever is anxious, however about what they do with the word. I wouldn't say that poetry ought to serve this or that function. I wouldn’t jump up and say individuals [ ought to write about poverty, about human suffering, about whatever.
In 22 nations around the globe and in several nations of Mexico, a same-sex couple may be legally certain in a registered partnership, civil partnership or registered partnership. Couples resulting from such unions or partnerships are granted rights and obligations related, however not equivalent, to these of a married couple. Engagement ceremonies could seem like legally binding marriages, however at no time does the couple go out to signal paperwork and make the wedding authorized according to state standards.
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regencyslxt · 4 years ago
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Blessing
1465 words.
Imagine giving birth to Anthony's child.
this can be read as a part 2 of New Life or on its own.
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It was three weeks until your due date. Everything was set and ready to go. The nursery was decorated, the new crib was in your and Anthony’s room for the time being.
Anthony.
He had hardly taken a moment to breathe. He was so busy sorting the finance side of this pregnancy and making sure you had everything you needed for the little one’s arrival. Either that or he was smothering you with his complete love and affection. It was a lot, but you couldn’t fault him for it after all he has had to listen to you complain about the back aches, the feet aches, the constant exhaustion and all the other lovely parts of pregnancy for the past 8 months.  
Speaking of aches, you had been woken up by a sharp pain in your stomach this morning. It had come and gone fairly sharpish so you weren’t worried. The doctor had already explained that ‘practice’ contractions might occur, so that’s all you thought it was. You had been having them once or twice every hour or so, there really wasn’t anything to worry about.
You were currently on your way to the kitchen, as fast as your body would let you go, which wasn’t fast at all. You had woken up with the biggest appetite but your breakfast hadn’t quite filled you up so you were going to make some toast and jam, the perfect mix of sweet and savoury. You were salivating at the thought of it. Unfortunately, your stealth was non-existent and when Anthony had heard the shuffling of your feet along the corridor, he was quick out of his office to meet you.
“Y/N what are you doing!? It won’t be long before the little rascal is here, you should be resting. I’ll get someone to bring whatever it is you want to the bedroom, come on.”
He began ushering you back towards the stairs you had successfully gotten down a little earlier.
“Anthony, sweetie, I hardly think the baby is going to pop out of me in the time it takes to get from our bedroom to the kitchen. Calm down, my love.” You held his hand and moved his arm so you could take it for a bit of support. You both continued towards the kitchen, the smell of tonight’s dinner filling the air as you got closer. Anthony was mumbling incoherently.
“Dear, whatever are you mumbling about?” you chuckled.
He looked at you the same way he looks at you when you stand up too quickly or when you exit the carriage on your own. Eyes filled with anxiety.
“You should be resting love, I don’t want you to tire yourself. It’s not good for you nor the little one,” he places a gentle hand on your belly. The baby was clearly glad to feel him as a kick was felt moments after. You let out a laugh,
“I think the baby is quite alright, don’t you?”
“It appears so… “
He had given up his mission to get you back to bed, but he wasn’t leaving your side until you were at least seated somewhere. You entered the kitchen and asked one of the cooks if you could have toast and raspberry jam. Whilst they were making it for you, you found a seat at the island where some of the veg for tonight was being washed and prepared. You ogled at all the colours. You could feel Anthony by your side, so you leant into him.
As you were waiting another ‘contraction’ disrupted the peace you felt. You rubbed the underneath of your stomach to try and ease the discomfort.  Although soon after another was felt, this one being more painful than the last. From here it was sudden. The wet feeling that made its way down your legs, the immense pain that it seemed to trigger, and the looks exchanged between everyone in the room. The dinner was long forgotten as all the focus was now on you. You were rushed into the nearest bedroom, your bedroom being too far away to even consider it an option. The maids worked quickly to remove your dress until you were left in your shift. You lay down on the bed, squeezing Anthony’s hand as another contraction occurred. Everything was a blur really. You can’t really remember when the doctor had come in. Maybe it was whilst you were screaming, or maybe it was when Anthony was crying. He did tell you to never mention that to anybody though. It was a long 6 hours, a fairly short labour in comparison to the other women in the ton but long enough for you. It was agony and by far the most tiring thing you have ever experienced. How can people say this is a blessing?
Everyone was urging you to push, so you did. You pushed. Again, and again, and again until the room fell quiet. The sound of a baby’s cries filled the silence and you met Anthony in the softest kiss you could muster. His eyes met yours and you could see just how happy he was. You spotted the doctor move from the corner of your eye and turned back to him. Your baby was now in the nurse’s arms, she made her way towards you both at the head of the bed and gave you her congratulations.
“Congratulations, my lord. It is a girl.”
Anthony beamed at her words and took his new-born daughter in his arms. You sat up as best you could without disrupting the care you were being given, trying to catch a glimpse of your little girl. He moved closer to you, positioning the bundle higher as to make sure you could see her. Her eyes were closed and her lips were pursed. You reached out to caress her cheeks.
“Hello my sweet girl,” you gushed.
Anthony peered down at you, admiring how even after hours of labour you still managed to appear ethereal to him. He placed a kiss on your head and turned his attention back to the baby in his arms.
“We should get her cleaned up, no?” the doctor asked.
“Yes, yes of course.”
Anthony handed her off to the nurse again and watched her leave.
“You can go with her my lord, I’m sure your wife would like to rest after all the excitement.”
“No, I can’t leave her, I shall stay here.”
“Anthony go look after her, I will be here when you come back. I am rather tired anyway,” you admit.
Anthony kisses you urgently and makes his way to the room his daughter was taken to previously. Your eyelids grew heavy and within a few minutes you were asleep.
Your eyes fluttered open a few hours later. A tiny giggle could be heard from across the room. You look over and witness what could quite literally be the best moment of your life…Your husband stands over your child’s dressing table trying his best to wrap her in a swaddle.
“We’re going to tuck this arm in here aren’t we my little angel…” he speaks as he wraps her arms amongst the soft material.
“Aren’t you just the prettiest little bundle of joy,” she lets out a squeal as Anthony pecks her rosy cheeks over and over again.
He notices you’re awake and makes his way over to you. He sits beside you, leaning his back against the headboard and hands your daughter to you for the first time.
You glance at her and take in her features. Her large eyes stare up at you and a gummy smile appears on her face.
“Well hello there...”
“You have done so well sweetheart,” Anthony tells you.
“I could never have done it without you.”
You look back at your daughter,
“She looks like you, you know. I’d recognise those big brown eyes anywhere.”
He smiles at your revelation.
“What shall we call her?” you ask quietly noticing her eyes closing.
“I’m not sure, what do you think?”
“How about Edele? We can call her Ed for short, after your father?”
At your suggestion, Anthony can’t seem to hold back his tears. He buries his head into the crook of your neck and pulls you both into a warm hug.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
“Only every day Anthony,” you laugh.
“Miss Edele Bridgerton…” he tests.
“The perfect name for the most perfect little girl.”
As you found yourself in his arms, looking down at the life you created together. You realised that people were right, all the pain, all the mood swings, all the hurt was worth it. She truly was a little blessing and you couldn’t have asked for a better husband to share her with.
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painless-innit-colourful · 4 years ago
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‘Would You Cry If I Died, Would You Remember My Name?’ - a Ranbutler Fic
Remember how much you loved Ranbutler during the first half of the Masquerade stream? Me too! Everytime Billiam said something about punishing him I wrote it down. Here’s 1700 words of an unnamed character suffering :)
tw for starvation, Egg manipulation, implied beating.
“As a bonus,” Sir Billiam joked with a kind of triumphant smile. “If we die down here, they’ll never find our bodies!” He laughed voraciously, and Karl soon joined him.
---
The Butler didn’t think it was very funny.  There were crimson tendrils at the edge of his vision, like bloody hands trying to ensnare him. They were red, like anger and violence and pain. So much pain. Billiam had laughed at him earlier that day. Invited him to talk over an afternoon tea in the library. None of which he would be getting. The Butler swore he’d seen his employers eyes turn red, like the Devil himself was sitting across from him. It couldn’t be though, because the Devil seeks out the greedy. He just wanted something to eat.
He just wanted something to eat.
Another wave of dizziness swept over him, and it was a battle to stay on his feet. He was bent double, leaning hard against the rough wall of the secret passage, one hand gripping grooves in the wood with the tips of his fingers to hold him upright, while his other arm was wrapped tightly around his midsection, squeezing as if it could somehow counteract the pain. Despite his frigid surroundings, he didn’t shiver: he couldn’t feel it. He could’ve been submerged in the aquarium and drowned without realising. He was empty, stomach growling, demanding food, but there was nothing he could do. He felt his grip on the wall slipping, and he bit through his tongue with the effort to stay upright. If he sat down, he feared he’d never get up again.
Domed dinner plates, silver serving trays and deep-dish bowls piled high and poised precariously danced through his subconscious. Sweet and savoury pies, delicate canapes, a roasted round of venison, sautéed mushrooms. He’d made all those, some with assistance from Hubert, for a dinner party Billiam had thrown over a week and a half ago. He’d slaved away for hours prior to his master’s gathering of rich friends and richer acquaintances, preparing four courses, organising the alcohol, cleaning the dining room and ballroom, pressing tablecloths and watering the potted plants (some of a more reddish hue than normal). His intention was to make too much food: then he’d be scolded with no follow-through and get to retreat to the kitchen to finish the leftovers. It was a perfect plan.
But Fortune did not smile upon him; she glowered angrily as she often liked to do. From the moment he’d turned the corner from the dining room to the hall, time seemed to slow, and he watched with detached horror and a muted resignation as he collided with Lord James, and the wine he’d been carrying splashed all over the newly-divorced gentleman’s dinner jacket. The gent’s formerly suave cream blazer now bore a closer resemblance to the coat of a fallen soldier. The Butler wanted the ground to swallow him whole as his master came marching out of the ballroom to berate him, the guests exchanging smug looks and glances that filled him toe to top with shame.
“James I am so sorry, I’ll lend you a dinner jacket - there’s a rather fine one in the second guest bedroom’s wardrobe. Please, I invite you to clean yourself while I deal with him,” He shot the Butler a glare that sank his heart with dread, “And I’ll replace your jacket tomorrow. Hubert!” Billiam’s other butler immediately stepped out of the nearest extraneous doorway. “Show James to the second guest room and help him clean up.”
“And as for you,” The Butler shrunk back involuntarily as Billiam loomed over him, leaning closer to his ear. “Twenty lashes, no food for two weeks and the cost of his jacket comes out of your wages.” It felt like the air had been ripped out of his lungs, but the Butler held his tongue. Often Billiam would make empty threats he’d forget about hours later, so long as the Butler remained well-behaved and/or invisible. “Now get out of my sight.” He didn’t have to be told twice before he retreated upstairs, stuffing himself into a small cubbyhole where no guest would find him by accident. He would be left alone for the remainder of the party, when he’d leave and get something to eat without being seen or heard. He’d be fine. He’d be fine.
The kitchen doors were locked though when he tried to silently open them in the early hours of the morning, and when he turned away he was met with the sight of Hubert holding a candle in one hand and a cane in the other. A cold sweat formed on his brow like condensation on a chilly window pane.
“Hubert?” “Take off your shirt.” “But-” “Take off your shirt and step outside, please.” Hubert’s icy-grey eyes showed no sympathy as the two of them walked through a side door and stepped out onto the grounds of the estate. The Butler heard him set down the candle by the door as he shrugged off his waistcoat and undid the buttons of his shirt, trembling. Hubert took them out of his hands and cast them aside as he raised the cane, looking the Butler in the eyes as he tensed all the muscles in his body in anticipation. “No hard feelings.” “Right.” He murmured, shutting his eyes.
At least the agonising pains of starvation had distracted him from the raw ache of his back as it made contact with the wall behind him. He’d lost the fight to stay upright and was now huddled on the floor in the dank passage, tasting the blood in his mouth from where he’d bit through his tongue. It was better than nothing, he would only admit in this state. The tips of his fingers played with the canteen of water on the floor beside him: his only hope of surviving. This wasn’t the first time Billiam had withheld food from him, and he’d learnt that if he drank enough, he could about sustain himself through achingly empty days and endless torturous nights. Still, it did nothing to relieve his torment. It had been eleven days since the dinner party, and though the Butler knew he could survive this, the throbbing pain in his belly felt like Death consuming him from the inside out, withering him away in the secret passage. He was safe in there from his master at least, but what about his fellow servant? Did Hubert know about this hidey-hole?
If he died in here, would anyone find him? Would anyone care?
He titled his head back and let out a low moan as another wave of dizziness clouded his thoughts and senses. No one would care if he was gone. Not even his master, Billiam, would pay it any mind: Hubert was more than capable of running the show on his own. He never incurred Billiam’s wrath; he was never locked out of the kitchen or taken outside to be beaten or scolded for simply existing. Billiam and Hubert had conversations; the Butler was denied speech at all times. The Butler wasn’t even permitted his own name in Billiam’s establishment: he whispered it to himself while he was alone at night so he wouldn’t forget it. The memories of being called by his name grew dim in his mind, wasting away with no one else to value them. No one to value him.
The next time he was swept with a wave of nausea and weakness, the red tendrils returned to his vision, and this time they didn’t leave. “Oh Butler, or should I say, John...” “How… How do you know my name..?” He whispered back, without considering the source of the voice intruding into his mind. “You poor mortal soul, suffering alone with no one to care.” “How- How do you know that? Who are you?” The Butler’s voice was weak as he rasped questions to the darkness. “What is it that you want, hm? More than anything in the world, what is it that your heart desires?” “Are you Satan?” “No, child.” Somehow that pronouncement scared him more. “Please- I don’t want anything…” “Oh but you do!” The voice then fell silent, leaving the Butler alone with his thoughts for a long moment. The presence remained, but without the voice to distract him, the Butler once again whimpered aloud from the pain of his hunger pangs. “I- I guess- I guess I’d like something to eat.” He admitted, his voice a soft whisper as he basked in the shame he felt. “Yes, child, and that I can give to you, and so much more. I can grant you everything you’ve ever desired. Food, so much you’ll never go hungry again, rich and filling like what you serve to your master and his guests. You may have Billiam’s approval… He may even call you by your name.” The Butler’s vision was swimming. “H-How.” He mumbled, barely finding the will to whisper the words.
“Come. Come to me. In the library, behind the second painting. Then, lowly mortal, I will make sure you never starve again.” He tried, searching inside himself for the last of his resolve, tried to find the willpower to hold out against the pull of whatever demon was beckoning to him. His parents, were they alive, would never approve. Billiam would never approve.
But they didn’t matter. His parents were dead. And Billiam was the reason he was too weak to resist in the first place. His willpower shrivelled up and died as he dragged himself across the floor towards the rickety ladder upstairs. If just trying to survive made him a sinner, then he hoped at least that Hell would be warm.
---
“Karl,” He stared down the peculiarly-dressed stranger. “I’m going to have to ask you to go back inside.” He watched as the man hesitantly stepped under his arm where he held back the painting, his eyes darting between him and his master at the far end of the room, standing proud next to the Egg. He listened to him give Karl a small speech without hearing any of the words as he retrieved the scabbard from behind the other painting, then himself stepping through the hole in the wall.
As he reappeared, Billiam smiled and folded his hands before him. “Oh, the Egg is hungry.” The Butler unsheathed the wicked-sharp blade, stained with the blood of the Egg’s previous victims. As he looked at the last of the night’s targets in the eyes, he had only one thought.
‘So am I.’
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philliamwrites · 4 years ago
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The Dawn Will Come [Chpt.4]
Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses
Pairing: Dimitri x Reader, Claude x Reader, Edelgard x Reader, Yuri x Reader, Edelgard x Byleth, lots of minor pairings
Tags: #gn reader, # platonic love byleth & reader, #reader is a tactical unit, #angst, #slow burn, #subplots, #unreliable narrator, #pining, #remporary amnesia, #reluctant herp, #canon divergence, #lost twin au, #many chapters, #original content
Words: 7.7k
Summary: Waking up in a forest without any knowledge of your past and who you are, you join the house leaders of the Officers Academy to search for a way to return your memories. Unfortunately, the church has different plans for you, and Fate places you in the centre of a cruel game with deadly stakes. It certainly doesn’t help to fall in love with a house leader who is doomed to be your demise.
Notes: Chapter 3 | Chapter 5
Chapter 04: Demands of the Faithful
I stretch lame hands of faith, and grope, And gather dust and chaff, and call To what I feel is Lord of all, And faintly trust the larger hope.
[Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam A.H.H.]
    “I’m glad you could make time,” Byleth says, carefully placing her fine cup on the small bottom plate. If she notices how uncomfortable you feel, sitting in the centre of the yard, drinking tea, she ignores it. “Let’s think together about what we want to teach during the mock battle.”
    “This is a bad idea,” you say, nibbling on your cup. “A very bad idea.”
    The late afternoon hours are quiet, but it certainly helps that the tea arrangement is tugged away in a far off corner in the courtyard, hidden behind tall hedges that allow privacy. The sweet smell of chamomile tea and strawberry pastry is a nice exchange from the usual savoury smells you’re used to in the cafeteria. All around you, the high, spiky roofs of the monastery’s towers stand out against the fiery, orange sky, throwing longer and longer shadows as the sun sets behind the mountains. The clouds are soft, pink cotton-candy, blushing at the warm touch of the sun.
    “I think it’s a good idea,” Byleth continues, cutting through a piece of cake with her fork. “We’ve seen what the house leaders are capable of. It’s time to see what the rest of the students can do.”
    “Don’t take me wrong. I think a mock battle will help them grow,” you agree. “I just don’t really understand why it’s me who has to lead the Blue Lions.”
    “I think Professor Hanneman is not present at the day of the mission,” Byleth explains. “It seems on the last day of Lone Moon he always leaves the monastery for a private reason. And I assume Lady Rhea means to see the extent of your power.”
    That’s what you expected as well. In the last couple of days you realised your power is a muscle, to be exercised daily, never to be pushed to the extreme. It was a strenuous task to try out how much is too much; where there’s still room. Under the keen eyes of Hanneman, you two practised day after day, trying to figure out how much your body can take before exhaustion sweeps over you and renders you immobile. Crests usually don’t have a limit; depending on their nature they grant a permament boost to the bearer’s abilities. Muttering under his breath, Hanneman had made quite a show to remind you what a curiosity the Crest of the Herald is. Like you wouldn’t know.
    “Since we’re going to be on the field as well, you might want to get more practice with the sword,” Byleth proposes, and you groan. She has a way of being brutally honest, and so far no one’s been spared to get the brunt of it. “I’m not letting my students hold back. Not even against you.”
    “You really are a voice of confidence, you know.” Shoulders drooping like someone took the wind from your sails, you throw your head back and drink the rest of your tea. Byleth’s expression doesn’t change, and you wonder why you even try being funny around her.
    After clearing the table, Byleth accompanies you to your next lesson hall. It’s nice in theory, but her vigorous way of trying to drill sword techniques into your head on the way doesn’t hide her true agenda. Only slowly, you begin to realise that is maybe her way of caring for someone. Brutish in appearance, but once you look past the first impression of indifference, Byleth’s silent demeanour speaks louder than words.
    Students linger in small groups in front of the class rooms, their exhausted faces from a full day of lessons and hard training visible in the way they carry their bodies. If you had a say in it, you’d cancel the evening lessons and let them rest; a reoccurring debate inside the faculty that doesn’t go anywhere. Byleth stops in front of the class room, surveying the students with a cool gaze, when suddenly Claude and Hilda jog towards you, and by “jogging” they decided Hilda to be the only one running while carrying Claude bridal style like he weighs nothing. As they pass you, Claude tips an invisible hat in your direction, calling “Hey, teach,” and then immediately “Bye, teach!” as they cross the courtyard.
    Your gaze follows them. “What just happened.”
    Byleth doesn’t even bother to look. “Claude and Hilda happened.”
    Heavens, you don’t know if you’re able to handle them later.
    After exchanging goodbyes with Byleth, you tackle the next forty minutes with a belly full of sweets and a mind occupied with worrying about everything you might do wrong next week. Forming two groups, you hand out two different manoeuvres you dug out of books, and present the task, “Work out the pros and cons of each battle tactic, and present them to the class. Explain where you would have done things differently, and why.”
    Sylvain raises his hand.
    “Yes, you can leave to bathroom breaks without asking me,” you say.
    Sylvain drops his hand. Then raises it again.
    “No, you can’t bring animals you find on your way back to your seat,” you say.
    He drops his hand. Beside him, Ingrid fails to stifle a groan.
    Twenty minutes later, the first group stands in front of the class. Mercedes’s steady hand draws the perfect copy of the manoeuvre on the chalk board while Annette recites every step flawlessly. They’re a powerful combination, and that’s only half owed to their friendship. Mercedes is soft; she’s the silk hiding the dagger that Annette’s sharp mind is. There’s strength in kindness, and both have honed this ability to a razor-sharp weapon. There’s still a pouch of unfinished cookies Mercedes has baked for you left in your room, something to keep in mind for the next tea hour with Byleth. Felix and Dedue don’t add much, and you’re a little afraid to ask, seeing how Felix’s eyes burn holes in the back of Dedue’s head. There’s been rumours going on about a dispute, but no details, and you gladly leave that sort of teacher-student business to Hanneman.
    The remaining students do their job almost just as good. But the thought of children being so confident in ways of war and killing leaves a painful twinge in your chest. You wonder what will become of them all in a few years, what battles they will win. What battles they will lose—this fear lingers at the edges of your consciousness like an ever-present shadow. To push it away, you try to refocus on the task at hand.
    “Look at the battalions you have,” you advise, tapping a finger against the cool surface of the board. It comes away white with chalk, leaving a white smudge on your robe as you wipe it off. “Where are they placed?”
    Ashe clears his throat. “Two Lance Soldiers, that’s Infantry. One Magic Squadron, also Infantry. The latter is stationed far northeast on that island. Two Pegasus Corpses, which are Flying Types. We put them behind the mountains to ambush the enemies on their way to one of our Infantries.”
    “A good idea in theory,” you acknowledge, and don’t miss how Ashe exhales in relief. “And where are you enemies?”
    “They’re facing our Infantry and the Squadron,” Dimitri steps in now. “The Flying Unit engage from the back. After their victory, Infantry and Flying close the last opposite unite off on the bridge, and join the Magic Squadron in fighting.”
    “Okay, okay,” you nod. “And now look at the terrain of this last unit you want to take on from the front and back. The one on the bridge moving towards the Squadron.”
    The room is quiet for a minute, and then a silent “Oh” from Ashe.
    “Yes. Oh. The Magic Squadron moves slower through the woods. You’ll lose them. And one of the Lance units is probably the next to go.” You draw sharp lines across the board with red chalk, changing the battalion’s movements. One goes across the whole board, crossing out the word Sea. “Wouldn’t it be smarter to have your Pegasus Companies move this way across the water, join the Magic Squadron and then close in from the right to join the Infantries?”
    “But Herald.” Ingrid raises her hand, but doesn’t wait for you to pick her. “If Infantry and Flying take out the first enemy, we’ll still win. The remaining unit will be trapped on the island without a possibility to retreat. Wouldn’t it be wiser to sacrifice the Magic Squadron just for that?”
    “I agree with Ingrid,” says Sylvain. He’s sitting on a desk, and swings his legs back and forth. “With or without them, we won the battle, and that’s what matters.”
    You turn back to scan the manoeuvre one more time. They’re right—blocking the enemy’s escape routes off proves a solid guarantee to win, and yet you’ve somewhat hoped they wouldn’t settle on this option. There’s a bitter taste in your mouth, turning your lips upside down as if you’ve bitten into a lemon.
    “Sometimes, you don’t want to win the battle,” you start slowly, the thought blossoming from a dark place deep inside you. “Sometimes you want as many as possible to live.” Which is easier said than done, and no one in the room agrees on your statement because they know just as much that such a choice isn’t always granted. Before the silence stretches on too long, you quickly add, “I guess it is more important to know there is no right or wrong answer. You make decisions later on that will either grant you victory or death, and you will have to live with those decisions.”
    Unanimous murmur sounds from the students, a topic nobody wants to dwell on too long, and you grant them that wish; this precious little time they’re still allowed to be children and make mistakes before responsibilities catch up to them. The rest of the lesson flies past without disturbances, and when the bells announce the break, they jump from their seats and scurry outside.
    “Don’t forget there’s going to be a test after the mock battle,” you call after them, knowing they’ll forget anyway and then boycott. The Lions are finally done with lessons, but there is the Deer House who have the misfortune to attend the last period of the day. As you prepare their unit of instruction on different terrains, Dimitri approaches you, his expression a mixture between confidence and tension.
    “Herald.” He stops in front of your desk, shoulders squared into a declaration of deference. “I have prepared instructions on everyone’s weaknesses and strengths. Please, do consider to take a look. Since one of the rules is that only six units will be stationed on the field, I hope this will make your decision easier who to choose.” Placing the papers with outmost care on your table, Dimitri hesitates a moment before continuing, “What you said earlier … truth be told, I think the same. To limit the loss of lives as much as possible should be a priority to a leader as well. To hear that from someone like you … I was quite glad.”
    “Someone like me,” you repeat, but you’re more surprised to feel your fingers itch to take the papers and get a first read on everyone. After going through similar notes from Linhardt, you’re now excited to learn more about your proteges, and with luck someone from the Golden Deer students might provide you with a first survey as well.
    “Someone responsible for tactics and strategy,” Dimitri quickly clarifies. “Someone tasked with bringing absolute victory.” He gives you a look that is somehow both caressing and calculating at the same time. “I understand that those sometimes compete with one’s own beliefs regarding the value of life. One’s conscience is as much of a weapon as a sharpened blade. If it breaks, what use is there to a person.”
    “Those are … some mature thoughts.” You don’t know where this observation goes. Of course he is mature, he has to be as the successor of a noble lineage. “For someone your age.” You press your mouth into a thin line, cursing your inability to think of a better response. But Dimitri simply smiles—a smile that is like a light suddenly being turned on in every room of a dark house.
    “Oh, but I do not want to bore you with such matters. I just wanted to add, I really do look forward to have you on our side during the mock battle.” He gives a little courtesy bow. “Let us discuss the details on the day before the mission. A good evening to you, Herald.”
    Dimitri leaves with a little bounce to his step. It’s probably better he’s in high spirits, even though you aren’t sure what exactly made him happy. It would be a real shame to extinguish his excitement by being an utter failure during the battle, so you make sure to read whatever he managed to put together about his classmates as soon as possible. There’s still some minutes left before the first Deer students will enter. Exhaustion lulls you into resting your eyes, and the moment your head is cradled in your arms, you doze off.
    It’s the third time you have this dream after joining the Officer’s Academy, though calling it a ‘dream’ is a stretch—there is nothing happening, nothing to see. Only white, as pure and unblemished as a young lily blossom in early spring. Only this time this picture—maybe a memory, but of what or where you can’t say—is different.
    Wake up, a voice whispers, barely recognisable and dull, spoken behind a wall of water. Wake up.
    Your hands weigh a ton. Unable to reach out and grasp it, the dream blurs, slipping through your fingers like sand.
    Wake up.
    “Herald, wake up,” Claude persists. “You’re drooling on my test papers.”
    His hand brushes your shoulder and you jump, all focus on the dream dispersing. Multiple voices fill the room in a shower of sounds, not helping to regain your senses of where you are. It doesn’t help that your right eye throbs dully, and as you rub it to somehow reduce the sensation, white spots dance across your vision.
    “So sorry, Herald,” Claude smirks with his hand still hovering over your shoulder. “Didn’t mean to wake you from your beauty rest, but Hilda planned to draw obscene things on your face, and we can’t have that now, can we.”
    “Liars never prosper, Claude!” comes Hilda’s response from somewhere in the back of the room. You groan, narrowing your eyes at him. Going back to sleep and stumbling about to try and figure out what’s going on sounds more pleasing than dealing with Claude’s shenanigans.
    “Man, what a bummer you won’t join our House during the mock battle,” he continues as if Hilda hasn’t said anything. “If someone asked me, I think to have you fight for the Blue Lions is cheating.”
    “But no one asked you?” you offer, indulging him with a weak smile.
    “The audacity, right?” Claude rolls his eyes towards the ceiling, leaning against the teacher’s desk. “Just imagine the brilliant schemes we two could work out. Oh, I have an amazing idea. How about you ask Lady Rhea—”
    “I’m not asking to be by your side during the battle.”
    “Ouch.” Claude places a hand over his chest, right above his heart. “Immediately shut down. Who knew our dearest Herald would be such a heart breaker.”
    You shoo him away, not only because he’s getting on your nerves, but there’s also Ignatz and Raphael standing in line, waiting for your attention.
    “We’ve heard the students from the other Houses gave you some insight in their abilities,” Ignatz says, tugging a stack of papers to his chest. “We decided to give you one as well.”
    “I’m sure you’ll like them,” Raphael chimes in, looking more excited than usual. “I gave Ignatz instructions on how to make our report the best. Forget boring words, Herald, we’ve prepared the real deal!” He rips the papers from Ignatz’s hands and slams them on your table. A crack sounds on the underside, and Raphael leans his whole weight upon the surface, completely oblivious to the protesting creak of the wood.
    “Here, we started with Claude, since he’s the big shot and all that,” he explains, opening the first page. It shows Claude, a surprisingly accurate portrait of him, if not a little bit scrawny. He’s wielding a bow, nocking multiple arrows. Seems like Raphael wasn’t the only one giving instructions.
    “And here is Leonie, and there’s Lorenz, and oh! That’s us working together as a team!” Raphael beams as he turns the page. In this picture, everyone is assembled, fighting against angry looking soldiers and horned monsters. There’s Lysithea and Marianne shooting lightning bolts from their hands, zapping their opponents. Raphael is carrying a huge stone, on top of it stands Hilda, wielding a mighty axe.
    “These are the most accurate file reports I’ve seen,” you say for lack of better words. “It really is a shame I can’t join you for the mock battle.”
    “There’s gonna be a next time, no worries!” Raphael gives you a thumbs up, then retreats to his seat, Ignatz by his side. They’re a funny duo, not just because of their different build. Their personalities seem the complete opposite, and yet strangely fit like a child’s box to sort blocks into the right shapes.
    The difference between the Golden Deers and Blue Lions, for one, is the noise level. Instead of waiting for you to call them up one by one, they love to shout answers whenever they see fit. Judging who was the first isn’t really easy when four people scream at the same time, so you’ve given up on that—Claude’s policy whoever screams loudest didn’t help all too much as well. Maybe it’s time to ask Byleth about some tips how to handle them. When the bell tolls for the last time for this day, announcing everyone to be relieved of their work, the student clear out faster than during fire drills, leaving you with a turmoil of thoughts and worries and two little voices bickering about how much of a disaster next week is going to be.
    After seven days and nights of restless sleep and vigorous training under the vicious supervision of Byleth, the green fields stretching before you end boarding on lush woods, its treetops protruding into the sky. It’s a wonderful day you would enjoy much more without knowing this is a battle field, and the people behind you wait for your command.
    “Black Eagle and Golden Deer are in position. Captain Jeralt said the mock battle begins in roughly ten minutes.” Dedue gives you an expectant look, and you give him a curt nod, your mouth dry.
    “Thanks. We’ll have a last briefing. After that, we’ll deploy our units.”
    Dedue joins his classmates, leaving you to your troubled thoughts. With luck, none of your opponents will reach you, and you won’t have to fight. It’s as if you can feel Byleth’s taste for your blood all across the field, even though right now she’s just a blurry, dark blob in the distance, surrounded by her students.
    “Do not worry, Herald.” The hard metal of a gauntlet on your shoulder makes you flinch, backing away from Dimitri. The worry on his face is a mirror of your own, albeit for different reasons. “Everyone will do their best to follow your orders, and fight with everything they've got. Your leadership will lead us to victory.”
    “Oh, yeah!” You don’t meet his eyes. “For sure.” Zero pressure and all that. You don’t say that, seeing that most of the students don’t appear to be as nervous as you. Confidence is key, and even though you see none of it in tangible proximity, you can at least fake it until you make it.
    Six minutes left. With a deep breath, you try to get hold of yourself, and face the Lions.
    “Since we don’t know who will be deployed by Manuela and Byleth, prepare for everything. I want to split the group. Dimitri, Dedue and Mercedes move to the northern forest. Felix, Sylvain, you’re moving west with me.”
    Felix pulls a grimace, but before he can say anything, Sylvain throws an arm around his shoulders and leans on him, gracing you with a full grin. “We got your back, Herald.” He earns a whack on his back from his friend.
    “Why are we splitting up if our plan is to take out each group separately?” Dedue inquirers. “Isn’t that what we agreed on before?”
    “I think the Herald plans to let our opponents think we plan on taking them both on at the same time.” Dimitri throws a quick glance at you. “We’ll draw them in our direction, and once they are near, we close in from both sides.”
    You nod. “Precisely. We know the Black Eagles will start far north from us. The Golden Deers are northwest. As soon as one of them moves towards us, we’ll have to defeat them immediately. It will be easier fighting one House, not both at the same time.”
    “Look at you, Your Highness.” Sylvain pats him on the shoulder, looking proud. “Someone’s been paying attention in class!”
    “Sylvain—” Dimitri’s chiding meets deaf ears as Sylvain already turns away, checking his lance for a last time. But he does beam a little, you think. Or maybe it’s just the sun making everything look much brighter. It’ll go into your report nonetheless. Chances of a victory look good—even if you have to retreat, the Blue Lions might make it on their own.
    The bressy sound of a horn echoes across the valley, reverberating in your bones. The mock battle begins.
    The weight of the wooden training sword hanging from your hip is foreign; it’s as though you only expect to trip over it. Determined to keep it in its holster, you approach the grove, flanked by Sylvain and Felix—and not a minute too soon. Moving towards you is the first line of enemies, Ignatz, Lorenz and Marianne.
    “I think they didn’t see us—” Sylvain starts just as the first arrow flies past his head and hits the trunk beside him with a thunk. For safety purposes, all arrow’s tips are wrapped up in stiff cloth, not intended to leave permanent wounds but surely still capable to deliver nasty bruises like the training swords and lances.
    “I think they saw us—” Sylvain’s brilliant new observation ends in a yelp as Felix shoves him out of the line of fire.
    “Get down, dumbass!”
    You three duck behind bushes and trees, cautiously observing how the others advance, their weapons drawn.
    “I’ll go for Ignatz,” you say. “Felix, you’re fast enough to reach Marianne and take her down before she starts healing everyone.”
    “Fine, we’ll try your plan.” Felix has his sword drawn already, gripping it tight enough his knuckles turn white. “Try not to get kicked out too soon, will you.”
    You blow a strand of hair from out of your eyes, squinting at his back as he jumps out of cover. The last couple of weeks you’ve put in some extra hours of sword practice with Felix. As an exceptional swordsman, noble and diligent in his training unlike anyone else—safe maybe for Dimitri—you imagined no one could teach you as much as possible in the short amount of time until the mission. It took some convincing, but the decisive argument that sold him was your desire to become better to finally have at least a chance against Byleth. If she is stern during practice, Felix is vicious, exploiting the tiniest opening you give in order to make you learn from your mistakes. Your body was a medley of pain and aches after every evening, but now the memory of that very same melody is your marching song towards battle. Then there’s always the knowledge that if you three can distract them long enough before the rest of the Golden Deer students arrive, Dimitri and the rest will close in on your position, and taking down your opponents won’t be difficult.
    “Sylvain, Lorenz is yours.”
    He answers with a simple salute, grip tight around his training lance, and as you both follow Felix out in the open, an image flickers before you, there and gone like a flame going out with a last glint. An arrow, headed straight at you. Your body moves in instinct, dodging the projectile not a second too late. Judging from the direction of its origin, Ignatz must be just beyond the rocks only a few hundred yards away. You throw a MiasmaΔ in his direction, the black ball carving its path across the grasslands. It hits the stone, chipping parts away and revealing Ignatz, crouching behind it. He looks up, dirt on his cheeks, and adjusts his glasses before ducking out of his cover, another arrow already ready on his bow.
    Another arrow hits him on his back, hard enough to get him down on his knees. Mercedes’ accuracy isn’t as good as Ashe’s, but the determination carved into her face makes up for lack of skill. Dimitri and Dedue are right on her heels, but a single look thrown over your shoulder shows that Felix and Sylvain have everything under control. Coming out victorious as well, save for Sylvain pressing a hand against his ribs, they were still complete. The knowledge of that makes you sigh in relief, a new surge of hope soaring inside you.
    “I knew we shouldn’t have listened to Claude’s dubious plan.” Lorenz’s bickering is still audible, even as the three proceed to leave the battle grounds to meet up with Jeralt. You’re really curious to see what exactly Claude had in mind, but diverting your focus for just a second could become dangerous. Instead, you turn towards the students.
    “Stay close,” you order, waiting until Mercedes is finished checking Sylvain's injuries. “We’re going to move further towards the Golden Deers and eliminate them first.” Flexing your fingers against the slow growth of getting used casting spells, your group begins to move further north.
    Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Dimitri buckling and unbuckling his spear from his back. Out of lack for the right words, and because the first rush of adrenaline still courses through your body, you jostle against him, wearing a grin on your face.
    “Look lively, Your Highness,” you advise. “All that nervous fumbling isn’t what a leader is supposed to do.”
    A tiny gasps leaves him, more an exhale than anything else, but he turns towards you, slightly flushed. Bringing his hands to his sides, it’s too obvious he’s tensing his body so they don’t stray again—like a statue that’s on the edge of shattering at the tiniest movement.
    “You’re right, of course.” He lowers his head a little. “I just keep thinking that the Black Eagle students wait for us in that direction as well. Some are surely moving towards us as we speak.”
    “Are you worried about Byleth?” you wonder, and more as an afterthought add, “Or Edelgard?”
    “Anyone who is not worried about Byleth is a fool, if you ask me,” he replies with a crease between his pale eyebrows. “And well, this is our first chance to prove ourselves, being the heirs to the ruling factions. I know Edelgard is exceptionally strong. And Claude surely has an ace up his sleeve. You are right, Herald. Nervousness is a sign of hesitation, of weakness. I will be better than that.” A new fire comes alive in his eyes as he strides onward, catching up to Mercedes and Sylvain to compliment her on the excellent shot from before.
    The epiphany really comes only now, fast and hard like a lightning bolt, that these children will drink in everything you have to offer—advices, orders, simple words of encouragement—simply for the title that is strapped around your neck. The weight of that responsibility slows your steps, which allows for another worry to quickly catch up: has everything you have taught them so far been right? Do they really know how to exploit the advantages certain classes have over others; will a strategic retreat even occur to them in the right time before it’s too late.
    Doubt is like poison, slowly eating you from the inside. This mock battle won’t just be a lesson for the students. It will also test if you have put them on the right path, and the realisation unfolds a new conviction inside you, breathing new wind into your sails.
    You quickly catch up to them, another rush of encouraging words on your lips when another image flickers on and off, painting your sight red. You freeze, raising an arm, hand formed into a fist.
    “Halt!” you shout, processing what you just saw. The students pause, forming a loose circle around you. The throbbing from before settles back in, more persistent now like someone’s knocking against the back of your skull to get your attention. You try to ignore that and focus on categorising every student’s ability in alphabetical order.
    “Linhardt,” you gasp, eyes wide open and glued on Dedue.
    The students exchange worried glances. Sylvain is the first to speak. “No, Herald,” he says. “Linhardt’s the pretty boy with all the books, you know. Who sleeps just about anywhere, like a cat. That’s our Dedue here.”
    “No, I mean Linhardt has Nosferatu,” you quickly explain, flailing your hands in hope to express yourself better. It doesn’t look like it helps. “Linhardt is the only one left who can use Nosferatu, and he’s going to land a good hit on Dedue. And with good, I mean bad. If he hits you, you’re down, Dedue.” Because only that makes sense, as Marianne is already standing on the sidelines and you haven’t heard about anyone else learning the skill. Undoubtedly a Nosferatu will hit Dedue if you don’t change course or take the spell caster out first.
    Dedue steps forward. “Should it give us an advantage against our enemy, I will gladly face the opponent and go down if it means it won’t interfere with our progress towards the Golden Deer students.”
    “Sacrificing yourself for a mere praise from the boar, is that what you hope for?” Felix demands, or more like snarls, his handsome face crumpling into an ugly look of contempt. “Pathetic.”
    “Sacrifice is a big word to throw around during a mock battle, don’t you think,” Sylvain unhelpfully throws in, his posture a little too relaxed in the light of the conflict that’s about to break out.
    Dedue shakes his head. “I am simply fulfilling my duty,” he states. “Anything that will bring His Highness victory.”
    “You would also run head first into an ambush and get yourself killed, is that it?” Felix grimaces. “Blindly following orders—”
    “Okay, okay, that’s enough!” Your raised voice makes them pause, and you use that second to grab lead of the conversation. “We don’t even know if Linhardt is going to be alone or joined by other Eagle students. What do you think will your little act accomplish, Dedue?”
    He sets his mouth into a grim, hard line, unable to come up with a satisfying answer that isn’t a repeat of what he just said.
    “You’ll have a tough time going against Black Eagles with all their magic users, so stay with Dimitri. Go and deal with the rest of the Golden Deer students. And you—” You meet Felix’s glare with narrowed eyes. “A battlefield isn’t the place to throw around petty disagreements. You would do well to remember that.”
    “Understood.” He rips the training sword from its holster. “But let me go take down that mage. I’ll cut him down swiftly.”
    “We’ll go together. I’m not leaving any of you on your own. Take care of Claude,” you tell Dimitri, showing with a nod that you fully trust in his leading ability. “We’ll meet east from the barricades in exactly one hour.”
    He doesn’t shy away from you glare. “Understood. Take care you two.”
    Felix takes the lead with long, eager strides. As you follow him, you rub your eye, wincing at the pinprick-like pain. The dull throb doesn’t cease this time, and if you had to take a guess, there’s only once left for the Crest to activate before you reach your limit. So far, nothing has helped you to ascertain when exactly a foresight occurs, and leaving it to pure chance is like grasping a loose rope in hopes that it is tied to something somewhere as you take the leap. Maybe Hanneman will make more sense of it laters.
    “You should have stayed with the others,” Felix says after a moment, scanning your surroundings for any sign of the enemy. It sounds more like a simple statement than an accusation. “I can handle someone like Linhardt on my own.”
    “I said before, we don’t know if he’s alone. I highly doubt it.” It’s like Dimitri said before: Underestimating Byleth will surely end in casualties and defeat. You don’t consider it far-fetched that she has sent a non-magic class with Linhardt, but who that will be is left to be determined.
    “No matter how many accompany him. Be it two or three or all of them, I will take them down.”
    “It takes more than one person to win a war.” Though you don’t doubt Felix might try it by himself anyway. “You’ll notice soon enough that you will rely on your comrades.”
    “I will rely on them as long as they don’t get in my way.”
    “So charming,” you mumble to yourself as you two round a mound. It really is none of your business, but you're actually curious about what is going on between him and Dedue. The moment you finish outweighing the pros and cons of trying to go down that rabbit hole, the air around you changes, barely noticeable save for a change of wind—it completely stills for a second, but that is enough to realise what’s happening.
    “Felix—” you manage before the Nosferatu explodes in front of you, knocking you to the ground. Before the mock battle, all magicians were instructed to weaken their spells; no lasting damage should befall any of the participants. Only because of that you manage to climb back on your feet, only left with dizziness that makes the world spin. The jarring sound of metal clashing against metal clears your mind a little, and when you turn around, Felix and Ferdinand are clashing blades.
    You turn further, and there he is, a hand raised in your direction. “Sorry, Herald,” Linhardt says. He doesn’t sound sorry at all. “The professor threatened with extra homework if we would hold back against you.”
    “Of course she did,” you mumble, grabbing your sword with sweaty hands. Two against two is fair, and you have no doubt that Felix will hold his ground against Ferdinand. The only solution to your little problem named Linhardt is to get as close as possible, and make use of your advantage in meagre sword skills.
    Another Nosferatu is sent your way, but this time you dodge, the hair on your neck standing on end. Somehow your body automatically shies away from Faith magic like a cat fleeing from water. Just one more hit will surely be enough to throw you out of the mock battle, and you can’t have that, not when the picture of Dimitri’s resolute expression is carved into your mind.
    You close the distance, all nerves tensed in anticipation, completely focused on trying to feel where the next spell is going to land. As Linhardt retreats into the woods, his sight obscured by trees, you dive after him, shoving twigs out of your way. A shadow moves through the undergrowth; every muscle in your body locks up, but you plunge forward, sword raised—
    Linhardt gasps when he finds himself pressed against a tree, your sword at his throat. With both hands up, he doesn’t move an inch, simply blinking at you. Somewhere above you, a bird cries out; a branch breaks. Linhardt makes a face like he jammed his foot in a door he slammed shut himself.
    “I surrender,” he says. “Getting beat up and spending time in the infirmary doesn’t sound as good as reading tomes in the library.”
    “You sure?” Your heart beats so loud in your chest, it’s a miracle it doesn’t break through your ribcage and fly off. “Byleth might drown you in homework for that.”
    He shrugs. “I call it a strategic retreat. I’ll just have to—” A yawn. “—convince the professor.” Another yawn. You begin to see the ulterior motive behind his surrender. Squinting at him, you proceed to bind his hands with a dark spell. Black shackles appear around his wrists, locking them tight together. As you make your way out of the grove, you hope Felix had the same success.
    That thought immediately dies when you return to the plain and see Jeralt heaving an unconscious Felix on the back of his horse, a battered Ferdinand by his side.
    “Ah, Herald.” Even though beaten up black and blue, Ferdinand still manages a smile. It looks a little lopsided with his swollen cheek and the dried blood on his upper lip. “I don’t mean to offend, but I hope you return because Linhardt defeated you in mighty combat?” A second too late he sees the magic binds around Linhardt’s wrists. His face falls. “My, Linhardt.”
    “You don’t quite look so good yourself,” Linhardt throws back without any heat in his voice. He sounds rather bored. Tired.
    “Excuse me, but what happened. What’s wrong with Felix?” you ask, turning to Jeralt. Before he can answer, Ferdinand chimes in, “He fought splendidly! Though I had no doubt in that, he is a noble after all. Yet, after ringing me to the ground, he lost consciousness. By my honour as the heir of House Aegir, I cannot take advantage of that. We both shall step out of battle.”
    “He passed out?” Now that you take a good look at him, he’s still pale, unhealthily so. Slick sweat glues his dark hair to his forehead, and the skin beneath his eyes shimmers slightly blue—lack of sleep.
    “Overexertion, I guess,” Jeralt says now. He pulls Linhardt to his side, and gives his shackles a thoughtful look. “I’ll take these three with me. You go and continue the mock battle, Herald.”
    “But…” It doesn’t feel right to leave Felix alone. Even though he technically isn’t, you imagine it would be better to wake up to a friendly face.
    “He’ll be fine.” Jeralt gives you a strange sideway glance. “The other brats rely on you right now, don’t they? Go to them.”
    He’s right, of course. The mission isn’t over yet, and with a strong combatant like Felix missing, victory has just slipped from your grasp.
    There is the meeting point. There it is, and no student from the Lion House is in sight. The minutes pass in long stretches, ticking away until it’s impossible to tell if time moves on or holds still. Holding out between the trees, you look in both directions—for your comrades and the enemy. For whatever reason, Byleth has decided not to advance to your position, and you aren’t sure what that’s supposed to mean. More minutes pass in aggravating silence, heavy and oppressing, and then—
    “Herald!” Dimitri’s voice rings through the woods. Your head snaps to him, and there they are, the Blue Lions tearing through the woods, a yellow flag with a deer on it waving behind them.
    “You did it!” Joy and relief spreads through you as you stumble towards them. “You guys really did it!” They shuffle around you like kittens searching for warmth, and something tight uncoils inside your chest. Is this what Byleth always feels when she’s in front of her class?
    “Hilda and Claude were mighty opponents, but nothing we couldn’t handle,” Dimitri reassures, but then a shadow jumps over his features. “Unfortunately, Mercedes had to leave. We couldn’t reach her in time to step in.”
    “Step in,” Sylvain repeats, muttered under his breath as he brushes red locks from his sweaty forehead. “I want to see you stepping in when Hilda swings that axe like a lunatic and not scream like a little girl.”
    “Where is Felix?” Dedue inquirers, ignoring Sylvain.
    Your shoulders drop. “Well, Linhardt was accompanied by Ferdinand, and while I pursued Linhardt, they fought. None of them emerged unscathed, although I feel Felix drew the shorter straw.”
    “Felix?” Dimitri repeats. He sounds as if you just tried to convince him it’s going to rain butterscotch pie later. “Our Felix lost?”
    “Not exactly the fight, but I’m sure his pride took a hard beating.”
    “Well, that leaves four against four.” Dimitri brings a hand up to his chin, a worry crease between his eyebrows. “And they still have Edelgard and the Professor.”
    “And we got the Herald and you!” Sylvain beams. “I say we wrap this up and celebrate our victory with a nice dinner and maybe some ale? How does that sound?”
    “Sacrilegious.” Your voice is drier than the crisp leaves cracking under your feet. “Aren’t you too young for alcohol?”
    “Too young and irresponsible,” Dimitri agrees with you, looking tired of Sylvain’s antics. “But I don’t object to a celebratory dinner.”
    “That is, if we win.” Dedue reads your mind, and brings the conversation back on the right course.
    “I assume the Black Eagles are holding position. They’re waiting for us,” you say, briefly checking everyone’s state. Safe for dirt and scratches, they’re still doing good, though having fought already, the Blue Lions are on a slight disadvantage. You can only hope some of Byleth’s students dropped out facing the Golden Deers.
    “We shouldn’t keep them waiting then.” Sylvain winks, playing with the grip of his lance. The smile that flirts with his lips is threatening.
    “Keep your guard up.” Dimitri shares a single, meaningful glance with every one of you, then leads your little group out of the forest. Whatever Byleth has planned, you hope that you’ll be ready for it.
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royza-hawkstang · 3 months ago
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Thanks to @rizaposting for the tag!!! Let's do this!
Last song: Follow Me by Celtic Woman. I'm a huge fan of Gaelic music in general, and this one absolutely slaps. I got the opportunity to see Celtic Woman live back in April and it was an amazing show!
Colour: I reeeeally really like green. My all-time favourite shade is phthalo green. Just -chef's kiss-
Last movie: Uhhhhhhh........... I think it was…...... Jaws. My partner and I (spoilers for the relationship bit) kept pausing to talk about the stage play The Shark is Broken, written by the son of Jaws actor Robert Shaw, based on Robert's on-set diaries from filing the movie!
Sweet, spicy, or savoury: Don't make me choose just one......... but if I have to, let's go savoury. Lemme sink my teeth into a juicy burger, or some chicken fingers, gimme that classic Canadian poutine!
Relationship: Married, to my lovely partner @lord-starbreath of five and a half years! Our wedding was understatedly Royai themed, because of course it was. He even set himself a calendar reminder on his phone for the wedding day (not because he thought he'd forget, but to mark the occasion) that said, in the words of Maes Hughes, "Get yourself a wife!"
Current obsession: My longform Royai AU fic 'Brushfire' and gearing up for tabling at my next set of conventions with my business Bad Rogue Design
Last googled: 'renaissance painting three people' because I wanted a reference image for drawing Roy/Riza/Havoc stuff 👀 (I was unsuccessful in this search)
Currently working on: Okay listen, I like… collect hobbies. So I'm making new prints, I'm doing two commissions, I'm crocheting a cosplay, I'm tending my plants, I'm writing fanfiction, I'm drawing, I'm sewing…. I'm just kind of all over the place!
I will tag, should they choose to participate, @spoopy-sloth @ssadropout @dragontamer05 and @riza-hawks-eye !
Tag the people you want to know better!
Tagged by @dairogo! Thank you :]
Last song: Werewolf by Cocorosie was the last thing that came on my playlist while I was in the shower. Always a banger! I am not immune to putting Werewolf on every playlist for a woman with issues and regrets and a fraught past.
Colour: purppplleeeee..... All shades of it, I've never met a purp i haven't liked 💜💜💜
Last movie: Oh jeez... What WAS the last movie I watched? Does the 4 hour Hbomberguy video essay count? That's like. Two movies.
Sweet, spicy or savoury: Sweet! I'm making a chocolate cheesecake for my irl dnd game this weekend and I'm so excited, it's been a while since I baked.
Relationship: Single so if anyone wants to admit that they're in love with me
Current obsession: Riza my wiwiwiwiwiwiwa 💗 But also joking that Roy Mustang is Italian. It's so funny. I love you Italian Roy Mustang
Last googled: The last google search that wouldn't dox me (looking up how far nearby towns are from me. Job search hell, you know how it is) I think was what the first antidepressants were
Currently working on: I have a commission for a repeat client I need to finish up, and afterwards finishing art for the Royai Big Bang! I've been taking a break from writing lately
Ummm ummmm tagging.... @scienceoftheidiot @phoenixfangs @milekael @rizatheestallion @ftmrizahawkeye @royza-hawkstang @littlewitchbee @equinooxe
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johaerys-writes · 4 years ago
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Fandom: The Song of Achilles
Summary: During his two month long sea voyage from Phthia to Skyros, Patroclus makes an unexpected friendship.
Chapter 3: Fate, the final chapter of At the Water’s Edge, is up! Where Patroclus finally reaches Skyros, and has an important decision to make.
Read here or on AO3! Or read from the beginning
The sun had set, and the night birds were gliding into the fast-approaching dusk when we finally returned to the ship.
The rest of the sailors had already gathered for dinner, the wide galley filled with the sounds of jest and song, with the smells of the fish stew that was being prepared. I didn’t usually join the crew during their meals, preferring to take them in my room, by myself, but that evening Xanthos had insisted I stay. He was sitting next to me now, with his cheeks still flushed from our trek through the verdant hills back to the port, and the wind that had combed through his locks had given him a wild appearance. There was a gleam in his eye, that I imagined matched my own.
The fish stew was rich and savoury, heavy with the taste of the sea and spices. Not all ships fed their crew this well, but the captain was a generous man, or so Xanthos had told me. After we had both finished our dinner, a nearby sailor treated us to some watered down wine. It was from the northern plains, near Macedonia, I was told, and quite strong, with a heavy aftertaste of berries and honeysuckle.
“Xanthos,” one of the men called. He was a tall man, strong like an bull, with his large head shaved clean. He had a bright and easy smile, which always made me somewhat uncomfortable, especially now that it was directed at both me and my companion. His gaze fell on the bracelet on Xanthos’ wrist. “What’s that you’re wearing? A little too fancy for you, isn't it?"
Xanthos smiled brightly, seemingly unaware of the laughter that broke out over the wide space. He raised his arm to show his bracelet to everyone who had lifted their heads from their drinks to look. “Do you like it, Thaddeus? I wasn’t aware it would be to your taste. I thought the only place you liked to wear jewellery was on your teeth.”
The other men laughed and jeered, banging their mugs on their tables. The jab did not seem to deter Thaddeus, who grinned even more brightly, revealing several golden teeth. “Everyone knows that, boy,” he said, laughing. “Did your friend choose it for you? You and I both know you couldn’t pick something nice if your life depended on it.”
I felt uncomfortable with everyone’s piercing stares that suddenly fell on me. Xanthos turned his body ever so slightly towards me, as if shielding me from the sailors’ crude jests. “He did,” he said, waving his mug casually. “He has a good eye. Which is more than anyone can say about you lot.”
They all laughed again, and Xanthos and Thaddeus exchanged even more jests, some of them crude, but none ill-natured. Before I knew it I was laughing with them too, and soon some of the sailors had come to sit around our table. Talk shifted away from Xanthos’ bracelet and into other matters, the ship’s journey and the highest price the captain had been able to get for some of the oils and herbs they carried, the details of the trade.
“Barley always sells cheaper here than it does in the mainland,” they would say. “Don’t know why the captain bothers with the Sporades.” Or, "Piraeus has raised the cargo tax to thirty three talents. Soon, they'll be charging an arm and a leg just to let ships into port."
I listened to their talk, quietly sipping on my wine. Trading held little interest for me. I had never in my life had to barter, sell or buy anything, apart from the rare occasions that Achilles and I would sneak away from the palace and go to the harbour to watch the street performers and musicians that sometimes ended up on our shores. It was always fun and exciting at first, but I would soon grow weary of the chatter and noise, of the heavy and sour smells of discarded fish and sweaty human flesh, of the rattling sound of the dice games at every corner. We would quickly retreat back to the olive grove, or our small secluded beach, where Achilles could run and throw his spears undisturbed. I would sit back on the warm sand and watch him move for hours, watch as the muscles rose and fell under his skin, as shadows pooled and stretched across his features with the passage of the dying sun.
A pang of longing drove through me at the thought, before I was able to stop it. My memories of Achilles had always been gold- tinted, as if the brightness of his presence made everything it touched resplendent, just like he was. They had always been a source of comfort for me, yet now they just made me ache for him all the more.
“Do you play, lord?”
I blinked at Thaddeus, jolting out of my reminiscing. At my baffled stare, he nodded at the stretch of table between us, smiling. “Do you play?”
I followed his gaze, and there I saw them. Four dice, their pips staring up at me like eyes. They were not white and made of bone like I was used to; they were red instead, made of terracotta stone. The pips were carved on their flat and smooth surface and painted over with dark dye. The shape and colour of them mattered not, though, as I found myself staring at them for what felt like a lifetime.
It was then that I remembered one of the reasons why I never joined the crew during their meals. Sooner or later, the tables would be cleared, and dice would be drawn out for games that lasted well into the night.
My pulse thrummed in my temples at the images that promptly rushed through me in waves; my anger at Clysonymus, at his blatant disrespect, his mockery. His eyes that widened as he fell back, losing his balance; the crack of his head against the stone. His blood trickling slowly on the dry ground beneath him, mixing with the soil and turning it crimson. I remembered how bright it was, as if it were before me just then. My stomach turned.
“Patroclus,” I heard Xanthos say beside me, but his words reached me as if through wool. “Are you well? You are pale as a sheet.”
I think I muttered a brief apology before standing up, almost making my chair topple over in my haste, then half-running towards the deck. My heart was racing; my mind was spinning, spinning. I was shaking like a fish out of water when I finally reached the railing and clutched it with trembling hands, my breath clawing at my throat.
It wasn’t always this bad. The sight of the dice didn’t always leave me this shaken, but my nightmares, ever since I had boarded the ship, were the worst they had been in years. Almost every night I would wake up trembling and out of breath, with cold sweat running down my spine. Those memories, Clysonymus’ face, the dice that rattled incessantly in my head; all those things were part of me, embedded in my bones. Had I honestly thought that one half day of careless enjoyment would be enough to ward off those ancient terrors?
I squeezed my eyes tightly, willing the images that seemed to be lodged there away. The night was dark upon the world now, and I felt swallowed by it, a pebble sinking to the bottom of the sea. It seemed as though if I let go of the railing for even a heartbeat, the waves would rush up and swallow me, drag me into their dark depths.
I jolted when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to Xanthos, who was watching me with evident concern.
“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“I’m fine. Really.” I gripped the railing hard, taking in a deep, steadying breath. My heartbeat was gradually getting slower, and I could feel the fear that had gripped me only a moment before easing away. I stared out into the darkness, at the stars that now shone brightly above me.
“Did, uh…” Xanthos started shyly beside me. “Did Thaddeus do something to upset you? I could talk to him if you wish. He’s a rough fellow, but he didn’t mean to—”
“No. No, of course not. He did nothing wrong. It wasn’t… it wasn’t his fault.”
Xanthos remained silent. He didn't press me to speak further, to explain; still, I felt like I had to.
I took another deep breath, this time to ease the words out of me. I had never spoken about my nightmares to anyone but Achilles. Without him by my side, it felt like every memory, every image from my past was a stone, slowly grinding me to meal. The last thing I wanted was to dig them up again, but the need to share the burden, if only for a moment, was what urged my tongue to weave the words.
“There was a boy, once,” I started quietly. “When I was younger. We fought over… over a pair of dice. I pushed him. He fell and broke his head.” My fingers tightened so much about the railing, that my knuckles had gone white, the wood digging into my flesh. “I killed him.”
Xanthos did not speak then, but I could sense no judgement or horror in his silence. Only patience. His very presence there gave me heart, and I continued. “I did not mean to. It was an accident. Yet every time I see dice… they just remind me of him.” I glanced up at him, fearing what I would see in his eyes, but there was only understanding.
“How old were you?” he asked softly.
“Ten.”
He let out a slow breath. “To have seen something like this, so young…” He shook his head, and his eyes glinted oddly in the night, reflecting the light of the waxing moon above us. “I am sorry you’ve had to live with this burden all those years, Patroclus.”
The sympathy in his voice made a wave of bitterness rise within me. I swallowed thickly, but the knot in my throat remained. “At least I got to live,” I said quietly. “That boy didn’t have that chance.”
I had never admitted those thoughts to anyone, not even to Achilles. I wished to stop my tongue from forming the words, to think of anything else, anything at all, but could not. “Sometimes,” I whispered, “I try to imagine what might have happened to that boy, had I not pushed him. How his life would have been, if I hadn’t been in it. He would have been at marrying age now. He might even have had children. He would have inherited his father’s titles, his lands… He would have been a man, in his own right. But he got to live none of that. Because… because of a pair of dice.”
My eyes burned as I spoke. I rubbed them stubbornly, determined to not shed any tears. I did not want Xanthos to think less of me.
Xanthos kept his silence for a long while. When he finally spoke, his voice was gentle, mingling with the sighing of the crisp sea breeze. “The night before I boarded my first ship,” he said, “I was terrified. The priests of Apollo had spoken of a terrible storm that was to come, the worst we had seen in ages. They’d seen it in the blood of a lamb they’d sacrificed, on Apollo’s holy day. I did not want to go. I sat on my bed while the wind blew outside and shook with fear. My father came in and saw me. He told me something then. It stuck with me.”
“What was it?” I asked.
“He said… 'A man whose fate it is to die in a fire, will never die in a storm'.” At my confused glance, he laughed softly. “What my father meant was, every one of us has a path in life. The moment we come into this world, the three Fates spin their threads and decide what is to come. If my destiny was to die in a sea storm, even if I stayed on land and herded sheep all my life, the storm would eventually find me. ‘Meet your fate proudly, boy,’ my father told me that night, ‘because you cannot escape it.’ ” He turned to look at me, his dark, almond shaped eyes meeting mine squarely. “You have your path. So did this boy.”
“But…” My old pains and fears rose to the surface, the dreams that had haunted me for most of my life. I struggled to find a justification for it, for what had happened to me, for what I’d done, something that would make it all make sense. I could not.
“It is cruel,” I whispered. “Is it not?”
“It is life, Patroclus.”
His hand on the railing was so close to mine, I could almost feel the heat emanating from his skin. I thought of his words, turned them this way and that in my mind. I had my path. So did Clysonymus. It did not change what I  had done, his life had still ended too soon. His death was still my fault. Yet if I had not pushed him…
I would never have left Opus. I would not have gone to Phthia. I might never have met Achilles. I would never have known him, followed him, loved him. My life, as I knew it, would only be a shadow of what it was, what it could have been. It was still cruel, but it was my life. My path, the one the Fates had carved for me.
The Fates had never been kind, nor fair. But they were absolute. Inexorable.
My hand crossed the distance between us to land gently beside Xanthos’. The waves splashed against the ship’s belly, and the night owls at the shore cooed. We stayed silent, side by side, watching the night stretch endlessly before us.
The following evening, when I went to the ship’s galley for my dinner, none of the sailors were playing dice. It didn’t take long for me to notice that it was Thaddeus’ wrist that Xanthos’ bracelet was gracing now. When I glanced at him, the unspoken question lingering in my gaze, he only smiled and winked.
“Fate,” he jested cryptically, and took a large sip of his wine.
I didn’t see another die being thrown for the remainder of the days I stayed on the ship.
~
The day that the rolling hills of Skyros came into view arrived much slower, and much faster than I’d expected. The bay that we pulled up on shimmered golden in the early morning light. I could just make out the last of the Pleiades disappearing into the rosy fire of dawn when the ship was pulled to harbour. I leaned against the railing, my bag with my handful of belongings hanging by my shoulder, my heart beating in my throat. Somewhere on that island, perhaps in that palace atop the hill, Achilles was waiting for me.
Xanthos was by my side when the ship’s ropes were tied to the old and worn out palisades of the long and narrow wharf. I had thought he would go straight to his bed after his shift had ended, to get what little sleep he could before they would be setting off again, but he walked down with me, then followed me to the beach, where the wharf ended.
We gazed at each other for a long moment, standing ankle deep in crystal clear water. I found myself tracing the lines of his features, the slope of his nose, his strong eyebrows, his heart-shaped mouth. His eyes were kind and warm as ever, but there was something else hiding in their depths. During those heartbeats that we looked at each other I noticed everything, even things I had never paid much attention to before, as if I was trying to commit his features to memory, keep them safe with me.
“So,” he said softly, “it is time.”
I nodded. “It is.”
I expected him to leave then, to climb back up to the ship and sail to his own destiny. But he stayed there, gazing at me.
“We’ll be going back to Euboea now. To Kymi.”
“I know. The captain told me.” I smiled when I said, “And then you’ll be setting off for the Eastern ports, right?”
His lips widened in a smile that mirrored my own, but it was not quite as bright and effortless as I was used to. It was almost timid. He shifted on his feet, cleared his throat. “It won’t be for very long. Three, perhaps four months. And then we’ll be back.” A light, barely perceptible flush crept up his cheeks as he said, “I was hoping perhaps… I could see you. When I come back.”
I blinked, taken aback. I wasn’t rightly sure how long I’d be staying in Skyros, whether I would be going back to Phthia next. In my heart of hearts, I wished to find Achilles and leave with him straight away, return to Pelion, where Chiron was waiting for us. Yet all of my hopes seemed uncertain and hazy, like trying to grasp at shifting sand. Three, four months… I did not know if there was any way for me to plan that far ahead. Gods, I didn’t even know if Achilles was still where I’d been told he would be.
My stomach tightened as I told him earnestly, “I… I’m not sure where I’ll be in four months, Xanthos.”
“I know,” he said hastily. “I know that it’s all uncertain now. But… You could wait for me here. I could come back for you. And then we could leave together.”
"Leave?" I frowned a little as he spoke, my confusion increasing by the second. “Where would we go?”
“Anywhere. Anywhere at all. We could return to Phthia together, or… or anywhere else you like. Go to the mountains, perhaps. You like the mountains. Right?” His flush brightened, and his eyes flashed with something that I couldn’t quite decipher. Something akin to hope. “After my trip to the East, I think I’ll have enough gold to build a home. A small one. Like... like the one you told me about. With a garden out front…” He let his words trail away, searching my face. His throat bobbed when he swallowed. “We… could stay there. You and I.”
I froze when I finally caught on his meaning. He wanted me to… to go with him. To build a life with him. To be with him. To… love him.
I took a breath, preparing myself for the blow I was about to deliver. “I’m sorry, Xanthos. I… could not.”
I saw the joy and hope that had been there a moment before drain from his features. I saw his smile quiver, and his shoulders slouch. “Oh.”
“It’s not—” I started, then stopped myself. My fists opened and closed by my side, helpless. “I can’t give you what you want,” I said quietly. “This person I’ve come here to find… He’s everything to me. He’s…” I paused, looking about me. My mind worked furiously as I searched for words that wouldn’t hurt him anymore than they had to.
Xanthos spoke the words for me.
“Your fated one,” he said softly. He gave me a wan smile, his eyes kind and earnest as they met mine, but I could still see the hurt I’d wrought there. “I understand.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” The sun was rising slowly over the mountains in the East, painting his sun-bronzed features golden and bright.
“Pepromenon fyghein adynaton,” he said. Fate is inescapable.
I nodded slowly, not knowing what else to say. He reached out and tentatively placed his hand on my shoulder. “I wish you all the best, Patroclus.”
“So do I.” I met his gaze, looking deep into his warm, honey brown eyes. “Thank you, Xanthos. For everything.”
His fingers squeezed my shoulder gently, feather-light, before he turned to leave.
I stayed there for a long while, at the water's edge, watching as the ship slowly rowed away. When its sails were nothing but a white speck on the golden horizon, I turned around.
Somewhere on that island, in the palace atop that hill, my fate was waiting for me.
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charlettebffxiv · 3 years ago
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Prompt #30 Abstracted
((Continuations from: Prompt #18 Devil’s Advocate.)) “The Mercenary group was called the Winds.” Charlette’s back was starting to ache, just a little in the very small of her spine. It happened, when she sat as bolt-upright as she was right now, for as long as she had. Harriette rifled through the second pile of reports, the first having been dealt with and set aside. “They were a small group, made up of individuals that had been recruited either because they found the Winds, or the Winds had found them. They were professionals, good at what they did, and honourable so far as I could tell.” The greying, portly woman that sat across from Charlette placed her hands on the flat of her massive, wooden desk. Her expression was calm, and gave nothing but attentiveness, even as she cut in with her comment. “I understand that you were not the one to seek them out, but it was instead Q’talhdi, your friend from Ul’dah.” Charlette nodded, hands gripping tightly in her lap, her reports had been thorough, and Harriette had scanned through them far quicker than she had expected. “Yes, she was hoping to use them to help with her quest for support for her tribe, and thought that they may also benefit me in my own search. After an initial meeting with the Wind’s leadership, I agreed.” The Head Librarian’s reaction was cool, and calm. Charlette knew this was going to be one of the more difficult parts of this meeting for Harriette.
“Tell me about the leadership then.” she flipped a page of the report over, and ran a finger down a list of names. “Waemrys was the leader, yes? All mercenary groups have a de facto leader and this man must have been it. It says here he was in a partnership with a Doman businessman, Kuzhuk, but that the Winds were organised almost entirely by him?” Charlette bobbed her head in a short nod “He was, for all intents and purposes, the leader of the Winds. He often claimed otherwise, and mentioned that he did not technically own the group. But he was the one that called the shots on most occasions, and the one that the majority of us- ah, the Winds trusted and listened to.” Harriette’s brow raised, Charlette’s correction not going unnoticed. “He must have been a convincing leader then. He was the one that brought the situation of the Gelmorran ruins to you?” Charlette’s mouth twisted, that ache in her back grew twice over. The thought of that place brought nothing but unpleasant sensation to her. “He did, yes. It was one of the jobs we agreed to partake in, while seeking help for our own situations.” Another page turned over, Harriette’s thick finger slid across several lines of Charlette’s writing. “It says here that there was a possible connection between this site and your own heritage. Is this true?” A coldness gripped her, she shook her head. “It was unclear if there had been a connection or not. Either way, the ruins were destroyed for everyone’s safety.” A disapproving puff of breath shot out from Harriette “Disappointing that nothing could be recovered. That is a very Mercenary solution to a discovery like that, you write that you disagreed with this?” Charlette nodded. “I did. I thought it would be best to seal the ruin, but leave it intact for future research. There is precious little of our heritage left, I did not feel comfortable destroying even a piece as corrupt as that one.” A flash of empathy passed over Harriette’s features. “True enough. I’m sorry you had such a disappointing experience with it all, but Gelmorra does continue to be a source of trouble for us. Perhaps it was the best decision, sad as it is. Your people have a new place now, at least. It might serve you better to focus on that.” Charlette stiffened, then placated Harriette with a polite “Perhaps you are right.”
“Now then, this other owner of the Winds, Kuzhuk? After your mission in the Gelmorran ruins, he was the one that helped you chase your lead from Ul’dah, yes?” Charlette’s mind flashed back to her first meeting with the Xaela. She had never really felt at ease with the man. “He was invaluable in finding the man in the Owl Mask. Kuzhuk is a merchant who primarily works in trading goods between Eorzea and Doma.” Harriette stabbed a finger at the report “This includes less than savoury connections on both ends. I see speculations about pirates, Syndicate contacts and Yakuza agents. You were never able to confirm any of this, however?” Charlette reached over the table, and tapped at a line on paragraph down from where Harriette had been focusing. “None, save a small connection to the Yakuza through a fence we interrogated. Personally I feel sure about all three connections, but I have no evidence so I cannot put it to paper. Not yet.” Harriette shook her head. “A troublesome resource to work with, Charlette. There is a good reason why we suggest avoiding unsavory elements as much as possible. They rarely come without costs that are lesser than the gains.” Charlette said nothing. “You and Kuzhuk attended a meeting of several organizations working out of the city of Kugane. Kuzhuk brought you in as a part of his staff, so at least there was no obvious connection back to us. But the company in this place Charlette, this was a veritable thieves' ball was it not?” that was putting it lightly. “It was a snake pit, more like. There were no clean hands in that place, and none that intended to change their ways either.” Harriette listed off a few of the names “Hayami ‘Red Palm’s’ network, The Giant Ozuru’s Mercenary band and Gaiwan ‘Ijin Lord’s Syndicate? By the dramatic titles and descriptions, you would think you had found yourself in a crime novel.” Charlette pulled her shoulders upward “It is the way they do things, apparently. It seems exciting, even fun, now, but at the time I found it all rather terrifying.” Harriette stopped reading and looked up at Charlette, leaning back in her seat. “We ask far too much of many of you. It’s an unfortunate necessity when you are as small as we are, but have so much work to do at all times. In this case though, I’m starting to think we may have put too much weight on you alone.” Charlette wanted to protest this fact, her pride screamed at her to argue, to disagree, to affirm her abilities to Harriette and alleviate her of this idea. But she couldn’t, she would not be sitting here if that was entirely false. Would she?
“Alright Charlette, tell me exactly what happened in this thieve’s ball. It was an Opera, was it not? I didn’t know they enjoyed that in Kugane.” The laugh that escaped Charlette was short, light, it took the uncomfortable edge off of the moment.
“They do… but not these particular citizens of Kugane.”
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