#he is not well versed in understanding his own feelings and he often confuses friendship for a crush!!!! it is law

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

tbh i view gar's relationship with almost ANYONE as familial, like vic and dick sre his big brothers, kori is his big sister, all the other titans are kinda more just "vageuly found family" tbh but THOSE THREE are his big siblings and i will never change my mind

[shima-draws]

At last, here she is...best girl Olivia!

As usual, all of her info is under the cut c:

Olivia

Age: 18

Hair color: White (with pink/purple streaks)

Eye color: Green

Element: Fire

After a lot of debating I decided that Olivia is actually Jasper and Mouna’s daughter--if you don’t know them they’re two older OCs that I’ve had for a while! (I figured I might as well give her parents already existing within the ATS-verse anyway, and I planned on Jasper and Mouna getting together and having a child somewhere down the line so it fits.)

When she was born, Olivia was very weak, and most healers feared that she would not make it—similar to how weak and frail Jasper was when he was born. Because of this, Jasper and Mouna are both fiercely overprotective of her (Jasper more intensely) so she was sort of suffocated by their attention. She grew up within the Spinelrose Guild and was treated more delicately by the rest of the guild members, especially because of how slow her development was and how often she was ill as a child. She originally had a difficult time making friends because Jasper was so afraid she’d get into trouble and get hurt, and the other kids didn’t want to accidentally put her in danger. Olivia was pretty isolated from her peers as a kid, and that frustrated her, because she didn’t want to be treated differently from everybody else just because of her fragility. Unfortunately she was never really strong enough to make her point, and just ended up being coddled by the guild as a result.

As she developed into a teenager, Olivia eventually outgrew her sickly physique and started to become stronger, both mentally and physically. She started to speak up about her parents’ treatment of her more—she knows that they just want to keep her safe, but she feels smothered by their hovering tendencies. Mouna eventually realizes how important this is to her and starts to back off, realizing how strong her daughter has become. Jasper, however...it’s harder for him to let go lol because she’s his only child and he knows how difficult it was to grow up as the weak link, the one who got ostracized because of their general health and well-being. It doesn’t help that Olivia is very clumsy and gets into little accidents all the time, which just makes his stress skyrocket.

Even worse, Olivia is a fire elemental, which is considered to be one of the most dangerous simply because of how destructive it is without proper control. When Olivia was a kid Jasper forbade her from practicing any of her magic, too worried that she’d end up hurting herself. Of course, Olivia has a bit of a rebellious streak, so she tried it once by herself and inevitably ended up burning the side of her face with her magic. (By now the scar is almost faded, but you can still see it.) Both of her parents flipped their lids, and Olivia was so terrified that she decided to never use her magic again, viewing it as a curse. Mouna tries to tell her that her magic is a blessing, something that encompasses life, and that she just wasn’t ready to use it so freely without any training. But Olivia is insistent—scarred both in the literal and metaphorical sense, she refuses to use her magic, scared that she’s going to hurt herself again, or worse, somebody else. 

As the years pass Olivia starts to feel more and more unsatisfied with her current life—she likes the guild, likes her friends and her family, but she feels as if there’s more she could be doing with her life. Since she’s refrained from using her magic all these years, and because of how much of a klutz she is normally, she’s not really a strong fighter, and is pretty useless on guild missions. Seeing the rest of her guildmates put their all into what they do, and being able to succeed in it, drives her to eventually seek escape and try to start off with a clean slate. When she turns 14, Olivia decides that she’s going to leave the guild and travel to someplace new in an attempt to be more independent and maybe find a purpose for herself.

Of course she realizes that if she tells her parents this they’ll probably refuse her, so she corners her uncle Terrence instead. Seeing her drive, Terrence decides he’s going to escort her to make sure she arrives safely. Olivia initially refuses because this is something she wants to do on her own, but Terrence warns her that the world is a dangerous place, and since she doesn’t know how to fight or use her magic the trip would be near suicidal if she went on her own. Terrence tells her the best option is going to stay with Spinelrose’s sister guild, Amethystus, and receive proper training in order to hone her magic and her fighting skills. That way she’d still have a direct line with Spinelrose in case something goes wrong, but she’d be far enough away to be independent.

Olivia prepares to sneak out in the middle of the night, but she gets caught by both Jasper and Mouna (because Terrence is a good uncle and he told them lmao). Fearing that they’re going to stop her, Olivia stands up for herself and makes it clear that this is something she needs to do. Much to her shock, Jasper and Mouna encourage her to follow her dreams and come home a new woman. It’s a very soft moment when they all hug each other goodbye, and there’s lots of tears :’) Olivia leaves home knowing that her parents are worried, but they’ll support her decisions because they love her.

After their crazy trip (where Olivia second guesses herself a million times and wonders if she can really survive out in a world this chaotic), they finally arrive at the Amethystus Guild! Olivia literally bumps into Ginni and from there, they form an instant close friendship. Ginni respects Olivia’s desire to be independent and is somewhat envious she made the decision to leave her guild in order to become stronger. Olivia admires Ginni’s confident personality and her fearlessness. Together they get into LOTS of trouble lol, mostly led by Ginni who is a notorious troublemaker within the guild, with Olivia just along for the ride.

During all this, Olivia meets the guild’s official blacksmith and, upon seeing the incredible things he can create by using fire magic, starts to rethink her opinions about her own “cursed” fire magic. The blacksmith, normally a very closed off, grumpy, and rude person, notices Olivia’s conflict about fire, and decides he’s going to train her in order to help her overcome her fear. Through a lot of practice and very intense sessions, Olivia is finally able to confront her trauma and move past it—leading to her discovery that she’s a talented natural at using elemental magic, finding that it comes very easy to her and is something she can control without thinking too much. This is a rare skill, for normally it takes an elemental years of practice and training to have perfect control over their magic. On top of that, her fire is very pretty and beautiful to look at, a reflection of her soul. Her master berates her from hiding something so beautiful and pure for so long lol

Olivia finds passion in blacksmithing, and trains under her master in order to create beautiful and powerful weapons. She does get burned a few more times during this, leading to some relapses, but her master tells her it’s part of the job and something that every elemental will come across: they aren’t always the perfect masters of their magic, and sometimes can hurt themselves without meaning to. But being able to understand what went wrong and how to fix it will make her stronger. Within a couple years Olivia flourishes and evolves into one of the guild’s most fiercest fighters, with an excellent handle on her abilities!

Olivia and Ginni grow up together in Amethystus, and are pretty much inseparable. When Ginni gets kidnapped by the Forces and is missing for several weeks, Olivia is beside herself with worry. After Ginni returns with Kaz in tow, Olivia is one of the first people to accept him and trust him fully, because she believes in Ginni more than anybody else. (Kaz develops a soft spot towards Olivia because of this, and is forever grateful for her support.) Over time Olivia starts to realize just how awful Kaz’s life at the Forces was, and grows very sympathetic towards his situation. She understands wanting to start over somewhere new with a clean slate, though Kaz’s circumstances are much worse than hers, because she still has a loving family and home to return to someday. Olivia becomes determined to make Amethystus a home like that for Kaz, as well as Hiro, who they discuss recruiting to their side from the Forces. As Kaz continues to reveal more of his past, as well as Hiro’s, Olivia and Ginni both get very gung ho about going to fetch Hiro LOL because they both want him to be safe (though Kaz assures them Hiro isn’t in any sort of danger, being the colonel, as well as too intelligent to put himself in trouble).

Kaz meets with Hiro, who was actually sent out on a mission to fetch him, and they negotiate Hiro acting as a double agent for Amethystus to spy on the Forces. Hiro had already been planning on leaving the Forces at some point, so he sees this as a perfect opportunity to get back at them for years of mistreatment. Over the course of the next several months, Hiro routinely reports back to Amethystus of the Forces’ plans, their current hideouts, and everything he knows about the higher ups. During all this he and Olivia meet, and at this point Olivia has started to refer to the colonel as ‘Hiro’ in her head, because it’s too confusing for her to call him the colonel, and she reasons that since Ginni gave Kaz his name she might as well give Hiro his. (Also because she believes that he’s a true ‘hero’ for enduring all of that suffering for so long, so it fits ;D) She calls him Hiro by sheer accident, but luckily he takes to the name well haha and they start to grow closer >:’) Hiro comments on how close Kaz and Ginni have become and the two start betting on when they’ll get together lol

Eventually Hiro’s position as a double agent is discovered by Mallary and so he finally breaks away from the Forces (and Mallary’s manipulation) and starts living permanently at the guild. Olivia’s pretty happy about this. She can’t explain why but she feels very safe and at ease around him, and she’s the person he’s the gentlest and softest around—unbeknownst to her, this is because he’s fallen in love with her, but she’s completely oblivious to his feelings. She’s pretty dense when it comes to romantic stuff like this whoops. Olivia finds Hiro’s intelligence incredible and likes that he’s such a skilled fighter despite not being that strong physically. Hiro likes watching her do her blacksmithing duties and always has expert things to say on her craftsmanship. They get along very well! Olivia’s never felt more at home than with Ginni, Kaz, and Hiro, and likes the tight knit little group they’ve formed. She becomes very fond and protective of them and, upon realizing how important they are to her and how much she’s changed because of them and because of her decision to join Amethystus, she decides to cut her hair as another sign of her growth as a person, and as a sign of change! She finally discovers what she wants to do: become a master blacksmith, and work alongside her friends to protect everything they can, including taking down the Forces to set free all of the people forced to work for them, and bring peace to the land.

When the time comes to finally take down the Forces, Olivia starts to develop feelings for Hiro as well, though it takes her a while to figure out because she’s never really been in love before, and mistakes a lot of her attraction for simple admiration. As Hiro continues to put his life on the line for their group and do anything he can to protect them, Olivia starts to discover that maybe she wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her life with him. There’s a point where Hiro gets injured so badly in battle he’s certainly going to bleed out, so he pleads for her to use her fire magic to cauterize his wound. Olivia’s trauma comes crashing back in and her worst fears are confirmed: her magic will end up hurting the people most important to her. Hiro tells her that by doing this, she’s going to save him, that her magic is life itself. Encouraged by his words, Olivia burns Hiro to save him, though it’s an extremely painful thing for her to do :’( But it’s at this moment she realizes that she definitely is in love with him, and would sacrifice anything for him.

Not long after that, Mallary attacks, enraged, and accuses Olivia of stealing everything important away from her. It’s a really emotional battle;; Mallary basically vents out about being the one left behind, the only one who couldn’t find a happy ending, and who had the only people she cared about taken. She says some really nasty things to Olivia about Hiro lol and this really makes Olivia mad, so they basically duke it out over Mallary’s twisted feelings for Kaz and her perceived ownership of Hiro. And Olivia’s just like. Bitch you don’t own him!! He’s not an object or a toy for you to play with!! Yeah. It’s nuts

After the grand battle with the Forces comes to an end and everything is resolved, Olivia decides to confess her feelings to Hiro, but it doesn’t...really go as planned. Hiro gently rejects her, but Olivia takes it the wrong way, still not realizing how head over heels for her he is. Shortly after this, Hiro and Kaz part ways with the guild, deciding to go on their own personal journeys of self discovery. During the year they’re gone, Olivia laments over her feelings for Hiro, miserable that she didn’t realize how she felt until it was too late, and miserable because she might never see him again. Eventually she tries to move on from that, but Ginni repeatedly tells her that Hiro is literally holding a torch for her lmao and that she shouldn’t let it go so quickly. Olivia protests constantly and strives to work harder to become a better blacksmith and stronger guild member, trying to put her feelings aside and ignore them. 

Of course, when she and Ginni eventually reunite with Kaz and Hiro, Olivia realizes that shit I’m still in love with him and my feelings haven’t gone away, they’ve just grown stronger during the year we were apart;; luckily for her Hiro’s gone through a lot of self reflection and feels ready to be in a relationship with her, so, after a rocky road of awkward confessions and pouring out their feelings, they FINALLY get together. 

The four of them go on a journey together! There’s some problems when Hiro runs into his childhood friend and first love, Lorelai, but in the end he shows he’s pretty damn dedicated to Olivia and it’s super soft. I just. I just love them so m u c h //shakes fists

AND THAT IS ALL FOLKS!! Most of it anyway lol

Extra personality traits:

-Very compassionate and caring about others—she’s a very motherly type. She’s able to get people to open up to her easily because of how friendly she is. She also settles disputes within the guild often, being the mediator between arguments

-A social butterfly. Probably the most social one out of the group, and the one most used to conversing with other people

-She’s got a lot of self-esteem issues because of her upbringing (and really, I promise Jasper is not a bad parent!! He’s just concerned), but she’s learned how to handle it better. She’s definitely way more confident than she was before!

-Tends to be very indecisive when it comes to big decisions, and is hesitant about fighting—though she will put her all into it if the stakes are high. She CAN whoop your ass 

-Super passionate about blacksmithing! It’s her true calling, and something she throws herself into fully. She’s very artful with her work and makes gorgeous pieces, and tends to ramble on about the specifics even when nobody understands lol

-A bit oblivious and airheaded sometimes. She’s completely unaware of several of the guild members’ feelings for her, including Hiro’s.

-VERY affectionate. Because she was isolated from other kids as a child, she’s very touchy feely and loves expressing her affection through casual touches. And lots of hugs!

-Since she’s the sweetest and nicest person in the group, she is terrifying when she’s angry. She’s super protective of her friends and won’t hesitate to leap into action to keep them safe, often getting very fierce when she does so

-She hates being alone. Being raised in an atmosphere with so many people around, she isn’t used to being by herself, and her instant source of comfort is being near others

-Isn’t afraid to tease her friends or state her opinion when it really counts

[lennonmccartneystuff]

I Was There For You in Your Darkest Times

Summary: Cool and confident 16 year old John Lennon meets a shy and broken Paul McCartney, 15, still reeling from his mother's death. When John loses his mother a year later Paul helps him through it.

Pairing: John x Paul (platonic)

Warnings: like one curse word

Author's note: I'm so excited this is my first fanfiction! Overarching note for all of my works...I don't own the Beatles haha

John Lennon rushed down the hallway on his way to class at Quarry Bank High School. He bumped into a boy slowly crossing the corner. He knew he recognized the kid, it was Paul McCartney. Something about Paul always confused him; he got a vibe from him like something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what. People made fun of him a lot and John didn't really engage with them because something about Paul made him feel like he didn't need more problems.

They collided and Paul fumbled to pick up his books trying to spit out an apology but just sounding muffled and anxious.

"I- sorry I didn't um, I didn't mean to"

"No worries man, my fault." John said while handing him his books and looking at Paul for a moment, trying to read him.

The boys went their separate ways heading to their own classes but John couldn't get Paul out of his mind for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

"Had Paul always been so nervous and quiet?" He thought to himself on the way home. Granted, he didn't know Paul personally but he had seen him around the last few years and something had definitely changed about him as of late.

John sat at home fiddling with his guitar and writing the first few verses to a song about a mystery boy (obviously influenced by his curiosity about Paul's story). He always turned to music when he couldn't get something off his mind. Sure, it wasn't necessarily a quick fix but it helped.

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For the next couple of days John just kept watching Paul. Not to be like a stalker or anything but he wanted to kinda know if he was ok. Problem is you don't just approach someone you've spoken to like twice to ask if they're going through something so he was at a loss.

Anyway, John had a free period so he headed down to the auditorium following a brief stop at his locker to get his guitar. He always went there there to practice in peace since it was empty during fifth period.

When he turned the corner he could swear he heard a voice but couldn't figure out who it was. He peered into the room and saw Paul McCartney huddled on the floor clearly trying not to cry.

"Hey man, are you ok?"

*sniff* "I'm fine, just leave me alone."

"I'm not going to tell anyone about this so if you want to tell me what's wrong, you can."

"I- um... today's a year since my mom passed away."

"Paul. I-I'm so sorry."

"Breast cancer"

"I had no idea"

"Is that a guitar?" Paul looked over to John's hand.

"Yeah! Do you play?"

"Yes! And bass too, that's my favorite."

"no way that's sick. We should play some time. Come by after school?"

"Yeah! I'm down, that sounds fun."

The bell rang and the boys went their separate ways; John with a new understanding of what Paul was going through and Paul happy that someone wanted to talk to him about something other than how he had been coping for the last year.

At the end of the day John and Paul made eye contact and headed to their own houses aknowledging that they were going to get together later.

Later they hung out at John's house playing around different musical snippets. John, with a little hesitation at the thought of bringing of bringing up mothers, answered Paul's question saying that it was his mom that got him into music and bought him his first guitar

"That's awesome! Does your dad play?"

"Well I uh, don't know my dad so I couldn't tell you." John chuckled nervously.

"Oh I'm sorry."

"Nah it's no big deal, he's a piece of shit anyway. My mom's the great one, I wish I saw her more often."

"Why don't you? If you don't mind me asking."

"She's actually not that far. It's just that she's with this guy and my Aunt Mimi wouldn't let me live with them cause it was too cramped or whatever, so here I am. We still talk often though"

"that's good" Paul said wistfully.

"Oh sorry, we can change the subject"

Paul nodded.

The rest of the night went on and Paul left a couple of hours later to go home.

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For the next few weeks John and Paul hung out at each other's houses almost every day after school just to play guitar and do homework and stuff. John noticed a change in Paul's disposition, he was still really hurt over his mom and that wasn't going to go away, but he seemed even close to happy for the first time since he lost her. Apparently Jim McCartney noticed it too because one night he pulled John aside before the two boys went up to practice and thanked him for being there for Paul. Of course John wasn't doing it for thanks, he really like hanging out with Paul, but he was glad it was doing something good.

One night at John's house Paul quietly brought up that he had been working on writing some original music.

"I um, wrote some lyrics this past week. I don't know if you want to hear them. Maybe you can help me come up with the riff for transition from verse to chorus."

"Yeah of course, let me here 'em"

"Well, I woke up late this morning my head was in a whirl only then I realized I lost my little girl oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, her clothes were not expensive her hair didn't always curl I don't know why I love her but I love my little girl oh, oh, oh, oh."

"And then I think the chorus is going to be: Well, gather 'round people let me tell you the story the very first song I wrote. But I don't know if that sounds stupid or where to go from there and I need help with that transition."

"Wow- the uh, the lyrics are beautiful, Paul."

"Thanks. Any advice for those parts?"

"C to Am?"

"let's give that a shot."

John and Paul were constantly with each other at school, always hanging out at home too and never far from a guitar. They quickly grew to be very good friends and Paul hung out with John's other friends in the group.

The school year was winding down. John and Paul lived pretty close to each other so they planned on basically spending the whole summer playing music together with the rest of the guys. On the last day of school they said goodbye but of course they weren't apart for long. For the entire month of June Paul was either with John and his other friends or with George.

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The middle of July rolled around and suddenly Paul didn't really hear from John and he couldn't figure out what was up. They didn't have a fight and it seemed that none of the other guys had talked to him either.

After a few days of not wanting to smother John during whatever was going on Paul had to check on him so he went to his house to at least see if Mimi could tell him anything.

"Hey is John around?"

Mimi stood in the doorway with tears in her eyes, it looked like she had been crying for days

"Is everything ok?"

"Let me see if he'll come talk to you."

"John? Paul's downstairs. You should really talk to him if you're ready, he's worried."

"I'm coming. I'm going to tell him."

John walks down the stairs into the living room where Paul is waiting near the doorway.

"Hey John. Are you ok?"

"Let's take a walk, I need to talk to you."

"Is everything alright?"

They walked for a moment and John readied himself to say what he was about to say. Paul was the first person he told and he was trying to prepare himself even though no amount of waiting would make this any easier.

"My uh, my mom was killed a couple of days ago, died in a car crash." John said, barely above a whisper.

Paul froze. He didn't have specific proof that they were in this part of their friendship yet but he had to go with his gut. He leaned in and gave John a hug and they just stood there for a moment.

When they pulled away Paul took a look at John while he wiped his eyes. He had never seen him like this before. John was strong and nothing ever really got to him but he had never looked so broken. Paul remembered that feeling unfortunately and while his mom passed away under different circumstances he still knew all too well the pain of losing someone so important so young.

John was never one for showing his emotions, even to his best friend. Though if he had to cry in front of someone it wouldn't have been anyone else.

Paul tried his hardest to keep John out of the really dark place he found himself in last year before they met. The trauma that comes from losing a parent so young will never be erased and there was nothing anyone could do to make that better but Paul's priority was keeping his best friend from being consumed by this. He knew what it was like to lose yourself and he wasn't going to let that happen to John.

Eventually John told the rest of his friends what had happened, with Paul by his side for moral support, but he didn't really hang out much the rest of the summer. The only person he ever really saw was Paul because he wouldn't leave him alone for too long. John wasn't the best with words so he didn't know how to say it, but he didn't know what he would've done without Paul that summer.

"Are you ready?" Paul asked as he turned to John before looking at the big doors to Quarry Bank High School.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The two made their way into school with a new closeness between them, an understanding of what it's like to experience living hell and survive it.

That shared experience was part of what brought John to immediately include Paul in the lineup for The Quarrymen, a group initially consisting of John, Pete, Eric, Colin, Rod, and Len. The group evolved a year later when, at Paul's request, George was added.

This gave John and Paul something to distract themselves with and direct their attention to instead of how much they missed their moms. The Quarrymen performed at dances, school events, etc. When they moved in the direction of rock and roll, only John, Paul, and George remained.

If it wasn't for John and Paul meeting and helping each other through the hard times it would've been so much harder to get to the good ones.

[violetwolfraven]

Ray Molina: Best Dad Ever

For the March 11th explosion of content thing. Just Violet being a fantom and doing my part for this!

Tw: mentioned death, mentioned abusive parents, mentioned panic attack.

So the boys can be seen and heard when directly touching Julie after the whole post-Orpheum glowy hug thing but Ray doesn’t know that just yet.

What he does know is that Julie’s mental health took a rapid turn for the better for seemingly no reason and then a couple weeks later he found out she joined a band without telling him.

He’s not stupid. He knows that’s probably because of the band, though he is a bit confused as to how she even met them.

He kinda figures it’s a kids and your internet tricks thing but there’s some flaws to this theory.

1) He asks Flynn what she knows about the boys only... it seems like she doesn’t know much of anything. That’s weird because he knows Julie tells her practically everything.

2) The boys have American accents despite Julie claiming they’re from Sweden.

3) Carlos is a terrible liar and on the rare occasion Julie actually talks about the boys he gets this weirdly conspiratorial look.

So anyway Ray doesn’t really believe it’s as simple as ‘I met these 3 Swedish boys on the internet’ but he trusts his daughter’s judgement and he leaves it alone.

Anyway he has other things to focus on.

Such as how Ray has literally never been able to keep track of his keys/phone/hats/camera parts/stuff and now it seems to just pop up whenever he’s looking for it.

Also he keeps feeling like there’s someone with him around the house more and more.

Like not a malicious presence like Victoria fears, and definitely not like Rose is around watching him, but like someone is there.

Sometimes it feels like there’s more than one presence around. None of them familiar but all of them friendly.

Oddly enough, whatever or whoever it is feels almost like Julie or Carlos. Young and excitable and like a verse of a happy song. He’s not sure why they’re around, but they definitely don’t feel dangerous, so Ray doesn’t feel threatened.

But some days a better comparison might be to Trevor back when Rose first introduced him. Raw and fragile and very, very sad.

Ray tries to put on happy music or a Disney cartoon or something on those days and he doesn’t quite know why or how but the energy usually gets more positive when he does that.

Anyway after a while of this (after the Orpheum performance) he starts noticing weird things that Carlos and Julie do now.

Carlos will just carry around a small whiteboard and a couple pens and he erases it whenever Ray comes into the room but before he does it almost looks like there’s two, three, or even four sets of handwriting on there.

And he walks in on Julie talking to herself like. All the time.

Carlos doesn’t ask for help on his math homework anymore. Julie makes this insanely good chicken recipe for dinner once and then clearly panics and lies when asked where she got it. Flynn makes a set of rainbow friendship bracelets one day while she’s hanging out at the Molina house but he doesn’t see Julie wearing the match to the one she keeps.

Plus Carrie starts hanging out at their house again?? Out of the blue?? And none of the girls have a good explanation for how they made up??

Then later Nick Danforth-Evans (who Julie used to talk about having a crush on but hasn’t in a while) starts hanging around too and the kid seems... well, Ray doesn’t want to throw the word ‘traumatized’ around, but he’s jumpy and guarded in a way that can only be described as a little bit traumatized.

So all 5 kids are clearly keeping some secret and Ray’s getting suspicious and worried.

He sits them down and asks what’s going on. Like is one of them having problems at home, or..?

The kids, simultaneously:

Julie: no, we’re just all in a play together!

Carlos: we’re fine we’re just ghost hunting!

Flynn: we’re exhibiting bisexual-pansexual-lesbian solidarity!

Carrie: Julie and the Phantoms and Dirty Candi are doing a collaboration album!

Nick: we all joined jazz band??

Ray’s calling bullshit at this point.

Then Julie and Nick both look up directly at the same spot, somewhere a couple feet above the arm of the couch, which is seemingly just empty air.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem like the other kids can see it but they all seem to be waiting for something and Ray is wondering if they’re sharing a hallucination??? Are they all on drugs??? Should he be worried???

Then Julie says to meet them in the studio in 30 minutes. Flynn, Carrie, and Nick go home to give the Molina family some alone time.

*cue music performance where Ray is introduced to the boys*

So anyway Julie and Carlos (with the help of the ghosts whenever one of them has something to say and grabs Julie’s hand) give him a clearly-sugarcoated version of the last few months.

Ghosts of Trevor’s dead bandmates help Julie reconnect with music, they form a band, they meet another ghost, other ghost accidentally gets them involved with evil magician ghost, Nick got possessed, Carrie figured it out and helped plot to get him un-possessed, evil magician ghost is still out there and they’re sticking together so he can’t get any of them in the future.

Despite how they say it like it’s no big deal, Ray now understands why the kids have been acting so weird because all these things sound scary and painful.

Also the more he thinks about it, the more he worries about the fact that he has three 17-year-old boys sleeping in his garage who died terribly of food poisoning.

They are children and they died incredibly painfully and then almost got enslaved and/or erased from existence.

Then one day Ray’s feeling one of those presences around the house again and he realizes it’s probably one of Julie’s ghost boys.

Ray: who’s there?

Whoever it is freaks out and leaves, and Ray takes notes for next time.

The next time he feels someone in the room, he has a notepad ready and he writes down “Luke, Alex, or Reggie?” from what he remembers from Julie’s introductions.

Immediately, there’s a spike of anxiety in the room.

Ray: it’s okay. You can stay and we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’d like to know who it is I’m not talking to though.

There’s a few seconds of hesitation, and then the pen picks itself up and the name “Reggie” gets circled.

Ray: the bassist with the flannels, right?

Yeah, written in a teenage boy’s messy scrawl.

Ray: okay, do you want to watch a movie?

More hesitation, and Ray’s not sure what that’s about but he’s starting to suspect with the amount of fear still in the room, and there’s a good 20 seconds where Reggie doesn’t respond before I don’t know.

Ray: Moana or Tangled? Moana.

After that, he takes a page out of Carlos’s book and gets a small whiteboard with 3 pens that stick to it magnetically. Red for Reggie, blue for Luke, and pink for Alex.

Reggie has written conversations with him most, but Luke does sometimes too and Alex does least often but he’ll still request a movie occasionally.

All of them are wary around him and Ray doesn’t quite know what to do to earn their trust. But he asks questions about their preferences on things. He says they did good on their latest show. He remembers which movies are their favorites and introduces them to music he thinks are their styles.

Luke is a big fan of Fall Out Boy and Reggie fucking loves Taylor Swift.

Alex is less consistent but occasionally Ray will play a song and he’ll write something like This is a cool song.

He starts to be able to tell which energy is which even before they write who it is right around the time the boys start to be visible for longer and longer after playing.

They play a really good show and stay visible for like 2 full days and that’s the first (but not the last) time Ray really gets to get to know them.

He starts noticing after really good shows like that one how even more now that they can be seen, they’re all a little... off from how Nick and Carrie and Flynn act around him.

With Luke it’s mostly because he’s trying so hard to impress because *gasp* he and Julie are a thing but there’s still a little bit of tension that seems like it comes from something deeper than just being nervous around his girlfriend’s dad.

With Reggie it’s subtle caution. Like he’s happy to be hanging out with Ray but he’s constantly ready for something to go wrong. There’s a catch in his smile, a hesitation before he states an opinion, a practiced carefulness where he changes the subject at any sign of even mild frustration.

But with Alex... it’s mostly just avoidance. Like if he poofs in while visible and it just so happens that no one else is there, he’ll find an excuse to leave.

And Ray lets him, of course. He doesn’t want the kid to feel trapped. But all of the boys’ behavior bothers him.

On the rare occasion they spend more than 2 seconds together Alex is really quiet. He won’t admit if Ray guessed wrong about a song and he doesn’t like it even though his body language makes it clear he’s not vibing with it. Actually, his body language pretty much just spells I am very uncomfortable in every situation where Julie or Carlos went to the bathroom or someone went to grab a snack and they’re alone even for 5 minutes while he’s visible.

Ray’s not stupid. He knows three 17-year-olds don’t end up getting their instruments left to their only living bandmate’s new best friend’s family by having good relationships with their own families.

He doesn’t exactly want to bring it up, but he kind of knows.

Then one day he’s sitting with all 3 boys watching a movie while he fixes something on his camera and Julie and Carlos are at school and he messes up a little part that means he has to start over (don’t @ me I know nothing about cameras) and swears out of frustration louder than he meant to.

He reaches for the screwdriver on the coffee table and

And Reggie and Alex both flinch.

Ray hadn’t even noticed they were tracking his movements, but while Luke seems to just have moved his focus from the TV to his friends in concern, Alex and Reggie both look too tense to play it off.

He figures its as good a time as any to have a chat cause these boys aren’t his sons but they don’t have anyone else acting as a parent figure to them and he feels the need to take care of them. He pauses the movie.

Ray: Can we have a talk? About you boy’s families?

Naturally Luke jumps in to try to distract him immediately, telling a story about his dad taking him fishing once, but he stops when Ray asks him to stop.

Ray: That’s not what I’m talking about and I think you all know it.

The boys are all still silent. Luke looks 500% ready to deflect again. Reggie and Alex look more like they’re expecting to get yelled at or worse.

Ray: I just want to help. I’ll drop it if you want me to but I want you to know that I would never do something to hurt any of you intentionally. You can talk to me about anything if you need to.

He means to make it an option of ‘you can talk but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ but the boys clearly don’t take it as such with how Luke starts talking immediately.

Luke: I ran away when I was 17. My mom and dad didn’t want me to stay in Sunset Curve, I think they thought it was going to get me into drugs or something.

They have a short talk about parents having good intentions not equalling them being right to push Luke so hard they pushed him away and it’s okay to feel hurt by that and then press play on the movie again and Ray thinks he sees all 3 boys relax somewhat during that.

A couple weeks later Reggie comes in visible and hesitantly asks about watching this series he saw when Carlos was scrolling through Netflix once.

Mid-episode he blurts out

Reggie: I don’t want to look for my parents and I feel weird about that.

He rambles for a while about knowing he was lucky that his family had money and his mom and dad told him they loved him and stuff but also he remembers so many fights between them where he felt caught in the middle and it never ended well if he chose a side but there was no way to win because they’d both turn on him if he didn’t so it was just this constant balancing act to try to prevent fights in the first place.

Reggie: I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Like, all the time. I tried so hard to keep them from getting mad at each other or at me. Only it never worked and it was always a question of when they were going to snap next and it was confusing cause one day we’d go to the zoo and everything would be fine and the next they’d yell at me and send me to bed without food.

He feels guilty for not wanting to put in the effort to find them because he’s pretty sure on some level they did love him but he doesn’t want to see them again.

And he doesn’t want to know if they even miss him at all because when he got older and the fighting got too intense he would sneak off to Luke’s or Bobby’s and no matter if he stayed away for an hour or a couple days they never seemed to notice he was gone.

Ray listens and a lot of things about Reggie start to make sense. How he’s so careful not to catch him in a bad mood. How he shuts down whenever anyone raises their voice. How he helps out so much in an effort to stay on Ray’s good side.

It’s a day and a half after the latest show so they can’t really hug but Ray does what he can to provide comfort and validate his feelings anyway because damn Reggie is a good kid and he didn’t deserve that.

Reggie and Luke get more comfortable with coming to him for meaningful chats, or even just to vent about whatever’s going on lately.

Eventually they seem to feel almost as comfortable with him as Julie and Carlos do so it kinda becomes a routine.

Like Julie will ask for cuddles when she’s sad about missing Rose or she’ll walk in and vent about Carrie and Flynn being so obvious about liking each other but somehow not realizing it’s mutual and she and Nick are 3rd wheeling and going insane.

Carlos will excitedly ramble about his latest baseball practice shenanigans for an hour but also sometimes ask for someone to watch old home movies or listen to old CDs from Rose and the Petal Pushers with him.

And that’s normal. That’s been Ray’s life since his kids started talking. But the thing is that it’s just as normal when

When Luke tells how he’s still angry about his music getting stolen because it feels like a part of him was taken away and he worked hard on those songs. Also one day he very shyly admits

Luke: I like Julie a lot.

Ray: I know, kiddo.

Luke: You’re not mad?

Ray: As long as you two make each other happy, no. I’m happy for you.

And it’s just as normal when Reggie talks about missing his little cousin Kelsi and wondering where she ended up only for them to look her up and find out she’s a major Broadway writer/director now oh my god— and also

Reggie: I think I like boys. Like boys are cute. But I know I’m not gay because girls are cute too and ugh it’s confusing it’s probably nothing I guess everybody goes through this.

Ray: Have you ever thought you might be bisexual?

Reggie: Bi-what-now?

Ray, already digging out his old flannels that he would have passed down to Julie except they’re too big for her: It’s okay to like both, kiddo.

All this is great of course. It’s great how Reggie and Luke aren’t afraid anymore and they feel validated and seen and listened to.

But months have passed and Ray notices how Alex remains separate. He still avoids Ray when he can and stays quiet and cautious when he can’t.

Like Ray still senses Alex around him sometimes but never right after a show when he’s visible. He doesn’t come to him with problems. He’ll stay and listen when Ray plays a song he thinks he’d like, but he still seems so cautious and Ray doesn’t know how to help.

He asks Luke one day while he’s introducing him to a Wicked bootleg if he’s done something specific to scare Alex away.

Luke gets this really dark look on his face and he just

Luke: Let’s just say that my parents didn’t do everything perfectly, but they’re saints compared to Alex’s.

Ray decides to drop it, but Luke wants to reassure him.

Luke: You haven’t done anything wrong. He’s just not very comfortable around most adults in general. It’s one thing when we’re invisible, but...

Ray: I just wish I could help.

Luke: You do help. But it took a while for Alex to trust me.

The conversation ends there because Luke starts getting really into Defying Gravity.

But then that night Julie comes in with a kind of out of character movie request so Ray thinks Luke talked to her.

Because Julie does not like most romcoms that aren’t musicals. She gets bored. But she requests Love, Simon anyway.

Ray kind of sees what she’s trying to do there because now that he’s thinking about it the boys haven’t really seen many things with queer rep. Especially not queer main characters.

And nobody’s really told him that Alex is gay but cmon he’s an elder bi. He has accurate gaydar so he can support his queer ducklings.

Despite how the boys all know being gay is more socially acceptable now (they found out about Nick’s dads and the girls gave them the ‘gay marriage is legal now’ talk) they still seem kind of baffled by how there’s an entire romcom centered around a gay boy and it did well.

From there Ray tries to find more movies and tv shows with canon queer representation.

And he keeps giving Alex space but also trying his best to show him that he’s not like his parents.

For a long time nothing changes beyond Luke and Reggie getting increasingly comfortable with him.

Well that’s not completely true actually cause Reggie starts tagging along to photo shoots and becomes Ray’s unofficial mostly invisible assistant.

Then the band plays an amazing show and the boys stay visible for a full week.

Around the middle of that week, Ray goes out to the garage to find Reggie and see if he wants to come on a photo shoot.

Reggie isn’t out there but Alex is.

And he’s crying. Hard.

He looks like he’s going to poof out when he sees Ray there but Ray’s already 100% ready to do exactly what he always does when he walks in on Julie or Carlos crying.

Ray: Alex. Hey, buddy, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.

Alex freezes and it breaks Ray’s heart how that kind of concern is clearly not what he’s expecting.

Ray: Are you okay with being touched?

Alex looks kind of like he’s in shock but he nods.

He clearly doesn’t really know what to do with it but he kind of melts into it when Ray hugs him and he just sobs on his shoulder.

When he’s stopped crying enough he starts rambling about how he’s been looking everywhere but he can’t find Willie.

At that point he’s basically having a panic attack so finding out what’s wrong takes a backseat compared to calming him down and Ray knows how to do that because he and Rose used to do that for Trevor all the time.

Ray: Alex, breathe. In for 4 counts, hold for 7, out for 8. Breathe with me.

It takes a couple minutes until Alex has calmed down enough, but once he does, Ray asks what’s wrong and what’s happening with Willie.

He only vaguely knows who Willie is from what he’s been told by the other kids but he knows he’s important to Alex.

So Alex takes a deep breath and explains that Caleb confronted him and basically said the boys had to join his house band or he would make sure he’d never see Willie again. And he doesn’t want to ask his family to sacrifice themselves for him but he doesn’t want to lose the boy he loves either.

Ray wants to throw hands but from what the kids have told him about Caleb, he has a better idea.

Ray: Here’s what we’re gonna do, buddy. Reggie said Caleb has this super catchy number, The Other Side of Hollywood?

Alex: Yeah?

Ray: How quickly do you think Luke and Julie could come up with an arrangement for you four to cover that and how desperate do you think Covington would be to make sure a video of that never gets published without crediting him?

Alex: :o

Spoiler alert: Julie and Luke, in collaboration with Carrie, can come up with an arrangement very quickly.

They do a private performance of it and film it and basically blackmail Caleb into letting Willie go.

Willie has an empty house that used to be his parents’ that he still considers his so he mostly crashes there if he needs to. Also he loves skating around so much that he never stays in one place for very long.

Julie can see him but she can’t make him visible so it’s a little odd but Ray gets an orange pen for him for the whiteboard and he finds skateboarding videos and stuff for when he visits.

They eventually figure out that he can be part of the magic by adding him to the band so they give him a tambourine and yay now Willie can be seen but that’s later.

The biggest immediate change to come out of all this is Alex.

He’s not afraid of Ray anymore for the most part (healing isn’t linear and he can’t help a few bad days) and he starts actually talking to him. Not about serious stuff but he’s talking. Mostly just rambling about how Willie makes him feel or how Luke and Reggie have been being annoying lately.

Then one day he comes in really nervous and says something about Reggie saying he talked to Ray about his parents.

And Ray confirms it and asks if there’s anything Alex needs to tell him.

Alex sits down and clearly he’s been holding this in for a long time and he just unloads how he came out to his parents because his youngest sister found his diary and he was scared she’d tell them. They didn’t react well and when he cried out of fear and frustration his father... gave him something to cry about.

His father did that a few more times, trying to ‘make him man up,’ and Alex never told his bandmates but he always knew they could see the bruises and that was why Bobby made it so clear his garage was open and his house was a safe place to run.

But Alex didn’t no matter how bad things got because he guessed some small part of him thought he deserved it but mostly it was about how his oldest sister dropped out of college and ghosted the family and Alex was the next-oldest so he felt responsible for protecting his younger sisters even if they both had learned behaviors from their parents and hated him.

Then that summer he found out his parents were planning on sending him away to some Christian camp where they’d ‘fix’ him.

Alex made it clear that he wouldn’t go and if they tried to make him he’d run away, but their ultimatum was that he couldn’t live under their roof if he was gay.

So he didn’t. And it was a situation somewhere between getting kicked out and running away, but he packed a bag and never went back.

He ran to Bobby’s house, he wrote a whole bunch of angry songs, and he tried not to think too much about how he understood why his older sister left and how he was doing the exact same thing to his younger sisters.

By the time he’s done explaining everything Ray’s trying not to cry but Alex is definitely already crying mostly out of anger.

Alex: I hated them all. I hated Molly for leaving me and I hated my mom for turning my little sisters against me and I hated my dad for hurting me and I even hated Anna and Josie for not standing by me and I just hated them all so much. I still do. And it is so stupid that I feel guilty for that because they were terrible to me and I was 16 and I didn’t deserve that but I do feel guilty for it because they’re my family and I hate them.

Ray doesn’t have much to say because damn this is heavy stuff but he assures him that after what he went through he has a right to hate his blood family.

Alex tells him awkwardly when he’s calmed down a bit that Luke is the only other person he’s ever told about all this, because after he ran away they dated for a few months before figuring out that they were better as friends.

Reggie and Bobby guessed parts of it and Julie probably has too but none of them have asked and Alex thinks he might tell Reggie and Julie someday if it ever comes up but he never did end up telling Bobby.

Ray assures him that he won’t tell anyone and also that he would never do that. He would never do anything to hurt Alex or the others on purpose.

He makes a silent promise that no one will ever hurt one of his kids like that again and if Caleb or anyone else ever tries, they will regret it.

But anyway on to happier matters.

Willie visits a lot and he’s a little skittish around Ray but he loosens up after he jokingly mentions one time that Willie and Alex are like the beginning of the Sk8ter Boy song.

Alex and Ray might be Denim Jacket Buddies but once Ray digs his old leather jacket out of the closet he becomes Leather Jacket Buddies with Reggie.

You’d think he has to tell Carlos and Reggie off the most for breaking things but he doesn’t. It’s Carlos and Luke.

Also Ray doesn’t consider himself an overprotective dad but Julie and Luke are not allowed to be alone in a room with the door closed.

Neither are Alex and Willie technically but it’s harder to enforce it when they’re both ghosts.

Lmao all the kids follow the rules anyway because they love Ray and he’s not being unreasonable.

He helps Julie in her plot to get Carrie and Flynn together and also he helps Nick plan how to make a move on that cute boy on his lacrosse team.

Because Nick loves his dads but they’re disaster gays. Neither of those men can properly flirt. They fell in love because of a baseball rivalry and Nick doesn’t trust their advice.

Pride month rolls around and Julie makes sure to book a big gig the day before the parade so the boys will be visible and tangible.

Trevor’s on tour and can’t get away and Flynn’s parents are working and Nick’s are busy too so Ray finds himself escorting this whole little gaggle of various queer ducklings to pride.

Carlos isn’t quite sure what he is yet so he’s just got a rainbow flag painted on his cheek and a shirt that says I love my bi sister on it.

Julie’s all decked out in the bi colors, complete with ribbons braided into her hair and a flag to use as a cape. She made the tutu herself and it took her hours but it turned out really good.

Luke’s got a tank top with the pan colors and a trans flag as a cape and also yknow face paint of course.

Reggie browsed thrift shops everywhere until he found a flannel in the bi colors and he’s got that along with pink purple and blue laces in his combat boots and what Ray is really hoping is temporary dye and not spray paint in his hair.

Alex has a rainbow shirt that matches Willie’s and matching bracelets with Flynn. Also he painted rainbow hearts on his cheeks and put a lot of effort into them and they look really symmetrical.

Willie’s of course matching shirts with Alex and also he has sparkly rainbow socks and a flag to use as a cape.

Carrie’s got a whole ensemble in the lesbian colors complete with a pride wig and also matching necklaces with Flynn.

Flynn’s matching colors with Carrie but more in her style with of course matching jewelry with the people closest to her. She’s got friendship bracelets corresponding to Alex and Julie.

Nick’s got a pan tshirt and a fedora with a ribbon in pink yellow and blue plus face paint cause all of them have face paint. Nothing too crazy.

Meanwhile Ray’s got a bi bandanna and one of those shirts that’s like Free Dad Hugs.

Plus everyone did each other’s nails with varying degrees of success the night before and Julie did Ray’s so they turned out good.

Nick’s lacrosse buddies and the rest of Dirty Candi are around somewhere but they didn’t ride in the same car so they’re not that relevant.

They party. Celebrate being alive. Idk I’ve never gotten to go to pride.

And afterwards they all go back to the Molina house and the couch isn’t really big enough for all of them but it’s okay it’s not like they know how to sit correctly anyway.

They all kind of pile together and cuddle and watch movies until Flynn and Nick’s parents can come pick them up.

And Ray just looks around and realizes that

Sure only 2 of them are his biologically

And 3 of the others have good parent(s) who are actively a part of their lives

The remaining 4 are technically dead

But he has 9 children and he’s totally fine with that.

Cause he’s Ray Molina: best dad ever.

Victoria’s head is going to explode when she finds out that not only is the Molina house really haunted, but he’s adopted the ghosts.

[yourehomesickiunderstand]

About/Rules/Verses

Hello, and welcome to my Bofur RP blog. This post is a HUGE wall of text, if you are on desktop and would like to see it a little tidier, please see the separate pages in the sidebar to the right. 

Promo Post Found Here

About the Mun

1. Firstly I am over 30, own a house, have a husband, 1 baby, 2 cats, and a wealth of commitments and responsibilities. I will do my best to reply in a timely manner, but will state up front that sometimes life gets in the way.

2. I am in EST and work M-F from 9-5, plus a half hour commute. Please understand that I can not post from work, and will not be posting during those times.

3. In addition, I am Mom to a very active toddler who is my priority over writing and who’s nap schedule tends to dictate when I can post.

4. My native language is English, though I can understand French, and a little bit of Spanish and Japanese. Don’t bank on me carrying on a decent conversation in any of those languages though.

About the Blog

1. When I first set up this blog I didn’t realize that secondary blogs can’t follow back, ask, or submit. My main blog name is Saffity, so if you see that blog follow you, it’s me. If I send an ask or submit, I will mention this blog name so you don’t get confused.

2. My inbox, ask, etc. is open. Please feel free to write me any starters, questions, or whatever.

3. Please send any critiques or suggestions to me. I’ve been on Tumblr forever, but have never really been a poster. If you see me doing basic noob mistakes with my posts that can be easily fixed, please let me know.

4. I will be tracking #yourehomesickiunderstand so please use that tag with our threads.

Mun’s Playing Style

1. I prefer my Bofur straight. I understand Boffins and other ships and have no qualms with them, I’ve been known to enjoy a good fluff fic once in a while, but this Bofur is straight.

2. Please send me an ask or fan mail if you would like our characters to have an already established relationship, I’m totally cool with it. I respond to all cannon characters as known as it shows in the books or movies, but if you are an OC and want something other than a “Nice to meet you” please let me know first.

3. I’m willing to do some fluffies, but not full on smut, if the thread calls for smut (which will often happen), I’ll fade to black when I’ve gone as far as I feel comfortable with. (Don’t worry, I’ll fade when I’m ready, you’ll never get any angry messages from me about going too far.)

4. Bofur here is multiverse, au, indie, whatever you want to call it. I’m sure he’ll fit into whatever crossover or world you decide to drop him in, he’s very easy going after all.

5. I tend to write in the past tense, third person. If you’d prefer a different style, just let me know and I’ll try to accommodate.

6. I’m bad with my images, so bad! I’m still figuring everything out, so if I’ve royally screwed something up, please let me know and I will delete and repost correctly.

7. I am super okay with editing anything I write if it doesn’t jive with your character or where you want the plot to go, please just let me know.

8. I mainly play on mobile, as such, I’m not able to cut my posts down. Please do so whenever you feel the need/want, I won’t be upset.

Head Cannons that go across all verses

1. Bofur has a Northern Irish accent and his hat, always his hat.

2. Bofur has named his hat Bundushathur, which in Khuzdul means “Cloudyhead” and will sometimes refer to his hat as a sleeping rabbit. If Khuzdul does not exist in the verse (like Modern) then the hat is called Cloudyhead and still referred to as a rabbit.

3. Bofur is the everyman, he isn’t special or high born. He is good natured, friendly, and the world’s best wingman, even if it means connecting someone he pines after with someone else. He would rather see them happy and keep their friendship than try to force his feelings on them or lose their friendship because of his pride.

4. The main characteristic about Bofur is that he is unimportant in the hierarchy of society.

Main Verse - The Hobbit/LOTR

Bofur is 4'6" but fairly thin for a dwarf.

Bofur is a dwarf who’s family line comes from Moria. He is of the mining class. He was born and raised in Ered Luin with his brother. Shortly after Bofur became an adult, his parents died, leaving him to raise his brother. Shortly after that, Bifur was injured in an orc attack. Bofur and Bombur took Bifur in, however there were a number of difficult years as they all got used to Bifur’s new personality.

Once Bifur was stable enough, the brothers decided it would be a good idea to head out and find new customers for their skills. They ended up at Bree, opening up a shop to sell Bifur’s fabulous toys, and offer tinkering services.

During their stay in Bree, Bombur got married to a passing female dwarf and moved his overly large family near the shop. Bifur and Bofur live together in living quarters at the back of the shop, Bombur lived with them until he got married.

Bofur travels around Middle Earth, usually west of the Misty Mountains, and most often between Bree and Ered Luin by way of the Shire. He collects supplies, sells wares, and visits many friends and family that are about the lands.

When Thorin calls for assistance in taking back Erebor, Bofur and his kin lock up their shop and head for the Shire.

After the quest they settle in Erebor, though Bofur heads back to Bree to close up their shop and settle accounts prior to settling in for a long life of enjoying his 14th share of the treasure.

Head Cannons that can totally change if my partner is a Bifur or Bombur

1. Bofur’s father was killed in Moria at the battle of Azanulbizar, his Mother died in an Orc attack when Bofur was in his 40s. He has taken care of his brother ever since.

2. Bofur took Bifur in after Bifur was orphaned as well, the three are like brothers, having shared the experience of loss and growing up together.

3. Bombur stopped speaking after their mother died. Bofur’s tried to get him to speak, and has managed to get him to speak sometimes, but usually just small replies and often with much prodding. Bifur and Bombur use the same sign language to speak to each other and those who don’t speak Khuzdul. Bofur takes care of both of them and is the one who speaks to customers.

Modern Verse

High School

Bofur is not popular, though he’s friendly and basically knows everyone. He enjoys shop class, classical music, and historical literature.

Studious and hard working, Bofur can often be found with his nose in a book, when not sitting on the bleachers playing the tin flute he always has on him.

College Student

Bofur is a TA in college. His major is historical literature, and his goal is to eventually become a professor. His passion is delving into historical fanatasy from cultures other than England and Western Europe.

He enjoys learning languages in order to read what he is researching in its original state.

General Modern Adult

In most modern adult verses Bofur is a general labourer, most often a janitor. If he is a teacher, he teaches music and drama.

Ice Cream Shop

Bofur runs a small home made ice cream shop that is part of a coffee shop run with a companion or family member (his partner can be any member of the company). He makes a variety of flavours, and offers lactose and gluten free varieties.

He prides himself on being able to guess his customers’ favourites on sight (like the movie Chocolat).

Marvel

Bofur is a janitor within shield. He can be found on the helicarrier, within the Avengers training base, or basically anywhere the heroes may be destroying things that need to be cleaned up.

While he is quiet and without powers, he has wisdom and a patient ear to lend to those supers who require a moment to vent.

Star Trek

This is the only verse where Bofur stands out. Bofur is a red shirt, but by some miraculous turn of events, he has gone on a number of away missions and made it back alive. Poor Bofur would love to get off the enterprise with his life, and shirt, in tact, but it appears some of the higher officers like to see him lose his mind and suggest him for more away missions, even if only in jest.

Head cannons that exist in all modern verses

1. Bofur and his family are from Northern Ireland, though Bofur travels around, goes to school abroad, and in general can pop up anywhere in the world.

2. Bofur is short for a male - 5'6", with a stocky build, and fairly strong.

3. Bofur’s younger brother Bombur is still at home (or married with kids depending on their age).

4. Bofur’s parents took Bifur in after he got injured during Armed Forces training, as Bofur’s family lives closer to the rehab resources that Bifur requires.

[saymecw]

Fuck it shortened/summarised enstars verses while I work on the page:

Che’nya: He takes on the ‘playful’ cat trope, but isn’t a cat himself in this verse because I don’t think we should have genuine cat boys. He takes off his headband in class to resounding gasps of “They were fake??” and he’s like “OF COURSE THEY WERE FAKE???” His acts have more comedy to them that most and he tends to focus on electropop but he will come out with random songs from different genres because he doesn’t like to keep himself limited. He’s a third year but his pranks and attitude tend to make people think otherwise. He’s in 3-A.

Drake: Part time marketing teacher, Part time streamer- but technically he’s being paid as a full time teacher and does streaming on the side, he’s well aware of how to present your best self to fans and make them relate and like you more- he also provides warnings as to what not to share with people on livestreams and how to make advertising products come across more naturally- he still live streams himself but refuses to allow any of them to watch his own, given he isn’t an idol and isn’t to be used for an example of one.

Natalie: A costume designer who came to work in the school due to her older brother’s insistence, rather than Natalie being an idol herself, she requested to be in the producer course ‘officially’ however, she does solely work on costumes and helps Anzu and the other producer with ideas if they’re ever stuck there. She keeps to herself mainly, as she does view it as a job and the boys can be a bit odd.

Henry: I wrote his up on his old blog so i’m gonna copy and paste it there-

Mistel: He’ll be aged down so he can attend and he’ll be a more classical music based idol because he canonically owns an antique shop- he’ll be more classy and refined looking to most, and he’ll be in the same group as Xingqiu, as he’s also considered more classy, however- he enjoys pranking and teasing others which often surprises his classmates. He’ll be in 2-A.

Iris: A famous author who often has fans hiding near her home or following her around, she represses her distaste and fears on the subject matter so much that Mistel worries for his older sister and decides to become an idol to take the attention off of her to allow her some rest. She often feels concerned for Mistel and attends all his shows to make sure nobody is following him and is also his biggest supporter as she was told he did it for his own enjoyment.

Xingqiu: A young boy from a famous family who wanted to be an author but wasn’t allowed to due to his godawful handwriting ( not even the teachers could understand it at first- and he struggles to read it himself ) and his families reputation, Xingqiu decided to become an idol due to Mistel who found out about his creative love of story telling and figured due to both of them having the same sort of appeal- they could have a story to their songs and a way to keep attention of his sister. Xingqiu had no real need for money or fame, but it did give him a chance to flex his creativity that he gladly took. He enjoys pranking people, giving false information and teasing them- but unlike Mistel, he holds no possessiveness to his friends and cares greatly for chivalry.

Scaramouche: An ex idol who hated his job entirely due to being sold as a cute and hyperactive idol despite his true personality being quite the opposite and soon became the math teacher for the idols in Yumenosaki. He’s snappy and quick to correct people on their failures, as a teacher, he’s considered scary and strict, having no issues telling people they’re in over their heads...but he cares about his students a little, maybe. He just wants them to know how harsh the industry can be. He occasionally gets visited by members of his old group who often try to coax him back, so students have grown used to him dragging a red headed man off of campus.

Albedo: The art teacher of Yumenosaki, most have assumed his prior job to be as a model or idol overseas, but they’re quite wrong, he used to be a scientist but found it lacking, as he could no longer spend as much time with his younger sister Klee and his dear friend Sucrose, given he has many connections in the idol world with Aether, Xiao, Venti and Kazuha being in a famous group- they managed to pull some strings to allow him in the academy. The students don’t dislike him, but find his mutters about experiments rather confusing.

Gorou: 4Anemo’s manager, Gorou often gets in contact with all the idol schools to discuss business as Venti and Aether always want to work with more and more idols to meet them and hopefully form friendships with- he’s usually more likely to discuss business with producers, but gladly talks to the idols themselves. They’re often surprised by his deep voice given he looks around their age given his height.

[radiatorchains]

From the vampire: The Masquerade Character Questions: V1 to V13 XD

VtM Meme | a c c e p t i n g

*Note: Jain is hardly well-versed in the myriad of Kindred clans, often times mixing them up or forgetting them entirely. This is by design from his Boss to either protect him from the intricacies of the Masquerade or to purposefully keep him ignorant to them, thus relying heavily on Vacláv further.

Opinions on the following Clans:

Banu Haquim: Indifferent. Knows Vacláv works often with them and travels frequently to hubs in the UAE and North Africa. Stays on best behavior and keeps ample distance.

Brujah: Hostile. Due to the clan's Weakness and penchant for rage it doesn't mix well with Jain's own quickness to turn to violence. He doesn't openly seek them out to hunt it seems easy enough for him to find them to cause trouble.

Gangrel: Openly hostile. Jain will seek out Gangrel to hunt and kill if given the chance. They are not a clan likely to do business with Vacláv so the vampire has no regard to whether or not his guard has his hunts so long as it doesn't hinder his business endeavors or call upon Blood Hunts. The scent of most Gangrel is enough to bring Jain to a near-Rage.

Hecata (Giovanni): Indifferent. They are one of the important clans for Vacláv's business ventures both domestic and overseas. Generally Jain views them more in a racially insensitive manner he really couldn't care about their less savory tastes regarding necromancy or rumours of 'interfamilial relations'. "That's dagos for ya,"

Hecata (Cappadocian): Negative. His interactions were brief but simply in terms of aesthetics it is confusing to see a potentially viable 'soft' meal up and walking. Doesn't actively hate them, just confused.

Lasombra: Negative. Jain has never been fond of religious idolatry especially regarding Christianity/Catholicism. The pagentry of Lasombra feels ingenuine and 'try-hard', but puts up with it for brief periods of time for his Boss' sake. Insists they smell 'off' and hates how he can't scroll through his phone when they are in the vicinity.

Ministry (Followers of Set): Indifferent. Much like the Banu Haquim he knows this clan more through business dealings in overseas trips. More ritual and unspoken rules to follow to keep from offending them. Generally speaking he doesn't mind them too much.

Malkavian: Negative. Their dementations often tend to prove too aggrivating for Jain's minimal patience. They aren't deemed valuable to Vacláv's work, and he finds their 'pranks' to be obnoxious. He only really likes one Malkavian and that is his friend Emmaline- to which no one an understand why their friendship even grew in the first place.

Nosferatu: Negative. Much like Cappadocian he is more deterred by their appearances more than anything. Their scent is isually repulsive to him as well given the Nosferatu's tendency to put their dens of operation in sewers and other foul smelling places.

Ravnos: Highly Positive. This is the clan he ascribes to, and has been adopted into due to his own lineage. He is highly protective of any Ravnos in his territory regardless if they are Rom or not.

Toreador: Indifferent. Too flowery, too emotional, too extra. Jain prefers simplicity and almost Spartan utility. However he is susceptible to Presence which seems to be the only saving grace for members of this clan from being viewed completely negatively.

Tremere: Hostile. Like a jock in an 80s comedy, he wants nothing more than to throw a few nerds into a lit trashcan- those nerds being the secretive and bookish Tremere.

Tzimisce: Hostile. He is kept away from business dealings involving the fleshcrafters, some deep-seated instinctual disgust keeps Jain from retaining any sense of civility around them. Akin to madness caused by celestial eldritch power, he simply can't conprehend them. Also after the Incident of 2007 he wants to avoid being viewed as anything akin to raw materials to be made into decoration.

Ventrue: Indifferent. One of the most important clans to Vacláv's dealings, Jain understands that the American Psycho-levels of corporate pagentry serves some form of purpose. While he doesn't think highly of them, he puts up with Ventrue for the sake of his Boss as well as the eerie similarities they bear to Vacláv's own 'quirks'.

[carewyncromwell]

“I know you -- I walked with you once upon a dream... I know you: That look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam...”

~“Once Upon a Dream (cover),” by Lana Del Rey

When he was growing up, Atticus Grimsley @cursebreakerfarrier​​ was something of a teacher’s pet. Thanks to the influence of his father who put such stock in the Grimsley family’s reputation and legacy, Atticus grew up with a hyper-focus on his studies and so ended up having a rather solitary and lonely time at Hogwarts. Therefore when he met Bartholomew “Bat” Varney as an adult, Atticus wasn’t incredibly well-practiced in the art of making or maintaining friendships. Fortunately, despite his and Bat’s obvious differences in attitude and life experience, the two men ended up slowly building a bridge of understanding and camaraderie between them. The big turning point was Atticus agreeing to help Bat track down and capture a vampire who had stolen Bat’s identity and used it to target and murder a wizard just outside Hogsmeade, even if it put Atticus at considerable risk not just with that vampire, but with the Ministry, since Bat was still considered a suspect at the time. After this, Bat finally accepted Atticus into his heart enough to start calling him by the nickname “Grim,” rather than the more detached and nondescript “Professor” -- in essence, seeing Atticus as an individual and allowing himself to “get attached,” even if Bat would no doubt out-live Atticus and mourn him when he died. Bat opened up, showing a genuine warmth and a love of life’s trappings that encouraged a youthful sense of fun out of Atticus he’d never really experienced before.

As the two friends got to know each other better, Atticus -- like Adelia Selwyn @that-ravenpuff-witch before him -- started to notice certain inconsistencies and interesting word choices in his conversations with Bat. Bat was very evasive about how he became a vampire, but he’d also make weird off-the-cuff comments about his condition, like that "his body didn’t truly belong to him.” He could give a full history lecture about the War for American Independence and describe multiple battles in great detail, and yet would immediately go quiet and disinterested as soon as any mention of the Battle of Yorktown propped up. He’d sometimes even compare Atticus to his best friend at school, telling full, exciting stories about their exploits and laughing at the memories, but seemed oddly tight-lipped when Atticus asked him his friend’s name. After a while, the man the Department of Magical Law Enforcement would go to whenever they had a case they had trouble solving found himself way too curious about all this to let it lie, and so set about tackling the mystery of Bat Varney’s past on his own.

Through his investigation, Atticus found out more and more things that just didn’t add up. Bat always seemed pleased whenever Ravenclaw was in the running for the Quidditch Cup, but an enchanted portrait of Bartholomew Varney in his Hogwarts robes that was commissioned by his family featured him wearing a red and gold Gryffindor tie. Bat was well-versed in Muggle society and culture, and yet the Varneys had been a prominent wizarding family who had shares in a large assortment of businesses in Diagon Alley back in the day. Then there was the story Atticus had collected from the merpeople about the three students who had helped save their queen a hundred years ago -- Robert Harker, Cecelia Crouch, and Bartholomew Varney. “Robert” had to be the mysterious best friend that Bat had mentioned, Atticus thought -- after all, he and Bartholomew had gone to war together as if they were Muggles despite both being wizards, so they were clearly incredibly close. But why had Bat never mentioned his other best friend, Cecelia Crouch? Particularly since, according to letters, she and he grew up together, and according to Ministry records, she’d eventually become his wife.

At long, long last, Atticus conjured up a terrible theory -- that Bat, in fact, was not the real Bartholomew Varney. His suspicions were confirmed when he tracked down a shady contact in Knockturn Alley who explained the unforgivable Dark process of creating a vampire, which requires not just a person feeding their subject a potion containing both their own and the caster’s blood, but also the caster cursing the soul of the person upon death to be forcibly chained to a body against their will. Atticus realized that his friend -- the vampire called Bat Varney -- was in truth the soul of Bartholomew Varney’s best friend Robert Harker, chained to the first’s reanimated corpse by Bartholomew’s wife and Robert’s once-friend, Cecelia.

The knowledge shocked Atticus -- he hadn’t known such a thing was even possible, and if it were true, it’d be a horrific thing for anyone to go through. The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor took some time to himself to get a handle on what he’d discovered, only to be surprised one evening by the sight of a familiar Irish Wolfhound sitting in his office chair. Bat had noticed Atticus wasn’t in Hogsmeade at all for more than a week after having come to visit nearly every evening prior, so he thought he’d pop up to the castle to see what was going on. So Atticus took the opportunity to tell Bat everything he’d found out.

Whatever reaction Atticus had been expecting, it was not Bat looking hurt.

“Robert?”

“Don’t -- ”

The word came out in an oddly sharp, barking voice. Bat gave a very painful-looking swallow to try to restrain himself, even as his red eyes pulsed with pain.

“ -- don’t call me that.”

Atticus was confused. “What? But...it’s your name, isn’t it? Your real -- ”

“Shut up,” Bat said very harshly.

He turned his back on the professor, his fist absently clenching at his side.

Atticus’s skin prickled with an emotion he couldn’t yet place. It made him suddenly feel like the ground he was on was very unstable.

“Bat, what’s wr -- ?”

“I don’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to talk about this. And yet now you’ve forced my hand and are now trying to make me talk about this. Well, I don’t want to talk about this with you! I know time is different for you than it is for me, but do you truly have no patience at all? Do you truly have so little respect for me, that I wasn’t allowed a choice in whether or not you knew? I...”

The vampire’s eyes were going redder, as was often the case when his heart was beating painfully fast or his lungs were breathing heavily. Although Bat’s voice never got incredibly loud, there was a very low, growl-like aspect -- something oddly raw.

Atticus knew what the emotion he was feeling now was -- it was guilt. Remorse.

“Bat -- ”

“I have to go,” Bat cut him off lowly without skipping a beat or turning around.

And in a blur of motion, he’d become a dog again and darted out the open door.

Bat didn’t reappear in Hogsmeade. Nights went by, and no one Atticus spoke to had seen him. The Honeydukes family even said he hadn’t returned to roost in their attic in the daytime like he always did. And Atticus knew why -- he knew that Bat’s sudden disappearance was all his fault.

In the nights following the argument, insomniac Atticus had even more trouble sleeping than usual. Once he ended up fitfully nodding off in the armchair of his bedchambers around 3 AM -- and there in his dreams, he was confronted by a vision of Robert Harker, looking just as dark-haired and handsome as he did in the enchanted portrait Atticus had found of him and Bartholomew in their army uniforms, signed with Cecelia Crouch-Varney’s name. Robert was smiling just as he did in the picture, and his brown eyes shone with the same sharp, bright gleam Atticus knew so well from Bat’s eyes. He even spoke in Bat’s voice.

Robert Harker bent down over Atticus sitting in the armchair, his handsome face mere inches from his. The proximity immediately startled Atticus, not just because he wasn’t used to people being in his personal bubble, but because Bat in particular so carefully avoided getting too close to him due to his blood lust. The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor shakily brought up a hand against the taller man’s chest as if to try to push him back, but his limbs lacked strength.

“W-wha -- what are you -- ?”

“Now, now, Grim...you were looking for me, weren’t you? It feels good to have solved the mystery, doesn’t it -- to know all those terrible things your mysterious associate was keeping under wraps?”

“Th-that...”

“Well, really, how else were you going to find out? I certainly wasn’t going to tell you. Why would I want to revisit the time when one of my dearest friends stabbed me in the back and turned me into a bloodthirsty animal? Made it so I could never be a professor like you, the way you know I wish I could?”

“You’re not an animal, you’re my -- ”

“Your what? Your friend? Oh, now, that is a cute sentiment.”

“What...?”

“You don’t have any friends, Grim, old boy. You never have. What I was, who knows...a pet, perhaps -- someone to talk to, to pass the time -- but a friend? I don’t believe friends go behind each other’s backs and betray their trust. Oh...but I suppose mine already did. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, that you’re just the same...”

“Robert -- Bat, I’m...I didn’t mean to -- ”

“At least now, things can go back to the way they were before. You’re all on your own again. All alone with your books, just like before. Just like you’ve always been...”

The nightmare was really rather short, but it was still enough to make Atticus wake up in a icy cold sweat.

Two weeks later, Atticus caught wind from his students that Bat had returned to Hogsmeade. Despite the anxiety and shame he felt, Atticus dropped everything that night to go find him, catching up with the vampire just outside the Three Broomsticks, not far from where they’d first met. Atticus immediately launched into an extensive apology, as Bat listened with a rather blank, placid expression on his face. It was only when Atticus started getting really emotional that Bat actually reached out and took hold of the man’s shoulder. The vampire immediately had to use his free hand to take out his flask and take a long drink of blood, and then he had to bury his face in his winter scarf and turn his focus onto the closest chimney to try to ignore Atticus’s scent and blood pulsing through his skin and clothes -- but he held Atticus’s shoulder anyway, his voice very low and soft in his throat when he spoke.

“I’ve...already forgiven you, Grim.”

Atticus’s guilt lingered somewhat even after that, but the whole affair ended up strengthening the two men’s relationship even more than before. Since this point, Atticus has become the only person who knows Bat’s real name and will, on occasion, use it in private conversation.

[mx08z7kz6gqrs]

此生 - Translation Notes

For my translation of this song, see this post. Listen to the original version of the song here. Below are some translation notes on the song.

Beware this is a long one. The song isn’t complicated, I just got a bit wordy and detailed with individual phrases.

This song is the ending theme to the Chinese drama 鬓边不是海棠红 (Winter Begonia), which is a lovely drama that I highly recommend. I might be a little biased because I’m particularly fond of the 民国 (Republican Era) setting, and the Beijing Opera imagery throughout the series.

This ending theme is actually relatively simple. As usual, I’ll do a line by line breakdown, with the original Chinese lyrics and the most literal possible translation next to them. In addition, I’ll note possible interpretations of the lines in relation to the drama since this song was written by Yu Zheng, the producer, specifically for the series. I believe this song is largely written from Cheng Fengtai’s point on view, and how he sees Shang Xirui.

There is also a variation on these lyrics that are used for an insert song, <此生此时>. I’ll cover the differences in a separate section after.

---

Line by Line Translation Notes

假如这一生就任性一回 // If, in this life, [I] could be willful one time 我愿意背负你所有的罪 // I would be willing to bear all of your sins 让你肆无忌惮笑得欢 // Let you laugh with joy, completely unbridled 偷偷藏起这点余味 // Secretly hiding this bit of aftertaste

Both the first two verses start with “假如”, literally “if” but specifically more in the context of a hypothetical situation, one that isn’t actually happening (kind of like “if we were to say”). The first line talks about the speaker being able to be “任性” which I’ve translated as “willful” for poetic reasons but would probably be more accurately understood as “stubborn/bull-headed.” It’s considered a childish trait with a fairly negative connotation.

In the second line, the verb “背负” I’ve translated as “carry”/”bear” but for those curious about the subtlety in the word, “背” has the meaning of “to carry on your back/shouldered” or “burdened” while “负” has a similar meaning but also has the implication of “duty” (the character is also used in the word “负责”, to be responsible for). The word “罪” is usually translated as “sin” and I’ve also translated it this way for poetic effect. But it’s definitely more commonly used to mean “crime” (example, “犯罪” means to commit a crime).

In this context, we could understand this as the speaker taking on the consequences of any crimes committed by the “you” in the song. I think this echoes pretty well with Cheng Fengtai’s character, and how he has always expressed the inability to oppose the expectation set on him by society and family. “任性” is how you would describe Shang Xirui’s character- a childish stubbornness that refuses to capitulate to the demands other make.

假如这一生就流一次泪 // If, in this life, [I] could shed tears one time 我猛一回头来不及防备 // I suddenly turn back, it was too late to put my guard up 假装浑浑噩噩无所谓 // Pretending to be muddle-headed, it doesn’t matter 尘埃里开出了花蕾 // A flower bud bloomed from the dust

This second half of the verse is more metaphorical than the first. The first line follow structurally with the first half of the verse. The implication is that this is the one time the singer is allowed to shed tears.

In the second line, the word “防备” literally means “to guard against/prepare for danger.” For example, you’d use this word to warn someone to be prepared for an attack, or for some other potentially negative consequence (ie, the road is slippery, please be careful in case you fall).

The third line leaves some room for interpretation. “浑浑噩噩” is an expression meaning “muddle-headed”, or a general state of confusion about the world. It can be used to describe a drunken person, for example. Broken down, it’s “浑” for “muddy/turbulent” and “噩”, in this context for “simple-minded.”

The end of the third line is “无所谓 ”, meaning “whatever” or “it doesn’t matter.” Here, you could interpret it as pretending “nothing matters” by connecting it to the first words “假装” (to pretend to be). However, I chose to interpret it as a connecting phrase between the third and fourth lines. Literally, a bit like “even if [I] pretended [to be confused/muddle-headed, it didn’t matter [because]...”

I think the melody of this same line in <此生此时>, the other version of the song, probably supports this interpretation since there is a pause placed right between the first part of the line and “无所谓”. See more on the differences between these two songs below.

There’s not too much more detail I can go into for the last line because it’s already pretty literal, but it’s worth mentioning that “尘埃” (literally “dust” or “dirt”) is often used metaphorically to describe something that is “dirty.”

In general, I interpret this part of the verse as Cheng Fengtai’s inability to guard himself against the true affection he feels for Shang Xirui, and their friendship is something that grew almost unexpectedly, without his consent, like a flower bud that springs up from an otherwise “dirty” world.

我不后悔 // I don’t regret 风雪中和你走这一回 // In the wind and snow, having walked with you this one time 干了这杯 // Drinking (emptying) this cup

I originally had this half of the chorus split into two, but after listening to the same lyrics in <此生此时>, I decided to combine it. More detail on that below.

The first line here translates pretty well literally, and connects directly into the second line. This line likely refers to a scene early in the drama where Cheng Fengtai and Shang Xirui walk together through the cold, clearing up a some misunderstandings between them and establishing the beginning of their friendship.

In the third line, the phrase used is a variation of “干杯”, which is used in Chinese when giving a toast of alcohol, to the same effect of “Cheers” in English. Literally, it translates to “drying the cup”, referring to the fact that you are supposed to drink the entire cup after. In this line, they’ve specified “having dried this cup.”

Since there is no subject for this action, this line could be interpreted to link up to the first one (one of the things they did together that the speaker doesn’t regret doing), or it could be interpreted as something the speaker is doing alone after.

I actually favored the former interpretation before I listened to the variation in <此生此时>. But afterwards, I’ve interpreted this line as a transition instead. After drinking, perhaps alone (like in the second interpretation), the speaker is taken into the dream sequence in the next few lines.

我们在戏里灵魂相对 // In the play, our souls face one another 有些惭愧 // With some [feeling of] shame 我不说但你心领神会 // I don’t speak but you already know intuitively 就此一醉 // Like this, getting drunk

In this next line, the word “戏” can refer to any sort of theatrical performance- a play, an opera, etc. In context, I’ve decided to simply translate it as “on stage”, but this line is a direct reference to Cheng Fengtai’s statements that he finds Shang Xirui’s soul singularly unique on that stage, as if it were touching his own.

The following line notes that there is some “惭愧”, or a feeling of shame. It’s left unclear whether this refers to a mutual feeling of shame or if this is only from the speaker’s part. I personally favor the former, but the line after which specifically references the singer being unable to speak directly about it could imply the latter.

The last line in this part reinforces the drunken haze narrative, first mentioned in the line about draining the cup. The way it’s phrased, “就此一醉”, implies “just like this, [I] became [intoxicated].” Overall, this entire section echoes one of the earlier scenes in the drama where Cheng Fengtai wanders home through the snow, alone, after being deeply moved by Shang Xirui’s opera.

梦里你对我说人间好美 // In [this] dream, you said to me, “the [human] world is so beautiful” 此生有一段只能意会 // In this life, there is a time period you can only feel intuitively 无须安慰 // No need for comfort 彼此都懂���遗忘心碎 // Each of us understand forgetting broken hearts

The first line in this section is where I took a lot of liberties in my finished translation. The word being described as beautiful is “人间”, a word used to mean “world.” However, when breaking down the meaning of the individual characters, it means “the place where people reside.” In this sense, it’s meaning is closer to “world of humans” or “mankind” rather than the more generic English use for “world.” I’ve thus translated it as a statement of people being beautiful, something that Shang Xirui, in his idealism, would likely tell Cheng Fengtai.

The second line has the name drop for the song, “此生”, “this life.” It refers to a period of time that can only be “意会”, meaning “felt intuitively”. Broken down, these are the characters for “thought/idea” and “to meet/gather.” This line expresses the idea that there are things in this life that you won’t be able to put into words or confirm, things that you’ll only know with intuition and empathy. In my translation, I chose to interpret this as specifically the feelings between people, in keeping thematically with the first line.

In the third line, the word “安慰” means “to comfort” specifically in the sense of “to console” or “to reassure” (not necessarily in the sense of “feeling [physical] comfort”) Originally, I actually interpreted this line as a continuation of the previous line- the singer has no need of reassurance because they have an intuitive understanding already.

After listening to the <此生此时> variation though, I think this actually ties into the next line. Together with that line, this becomes “there’s no need for comfort, [because] we both already understand how to [forget] the heartbreaks.” You could read into it either way.

和你依偎 // Cuddling (leaning against) with you 分分秒秒都不够体会 // Every minute, every second, isn’t enough to experience/understand

In this part, the verb “依偎” can mean “to lean against”, “snuggle”, “cuddle”, etc. It can describe actions like two people embracing, one person sleeping against another’s shoulder/chest, birds nestled against each other, etc. The characters when divided are “依”, “to rely on” or “to go along with” and “偎” for “to cling/embrace.” I chose to go with “nestle” in my translation to give a sense of the characters being very close together, yet small compared to the rest of the world.

In the second line, “体会” means “to experience”, “to understand”, or “to realize [through experience]”, especially in the sense of walking in someone else’s shoes. In this case, no matter how close they are, the time together is too short, and they are unable to fully grasp the other’s experiences.

青山妩媚 // Green mountains are charming 回望戏台上锦绣堆灰 // Looking back, on the stage, the exquisitely beautiful [items] in piles of dust/ashes

The first line here about the “green mountains” actually comes from a Southern Song dynasty poem by Xin Qiji called <贺新郎>. You can find a translation of it on his Wikipedia page here. While I’ve translated the color “青” as “green”, the word can actually refer to a variety of colors on the spectrum between blue and green. It’s often used to describe both the color of the sky and the color of grass. After much debate, I also used a translation of “妩媚” (lovely, charming) closer to the one provided on the Wikipedia page (originally translated by Lian Xinda) since it was a reference.

The poem is from the point of view of an elderly man whose friends have all passed away over the years, and who feels perhaps that he has accomplished nothing in his life. As he looks out at the mountains, he notes that they appear quite charming and lovely to him. He muses that perhaps they, too, see the same when they look back at him, despite his current state of melancholy. In context, you could interpret this as Cheng Fengtai, a man who believes he has accomplished nothing, looking upon the more beautiful world described to him by Shang Xirui.

The second line also echoes some ideas from the poem. “锦绣” here means “exquisite/beautiful.” The characters individually actually translate more literally to “fine embroidery”, but as an expression it can be used to describe objects of exquisite beauty/craftsmanship. In this context, we can actually take it a bit more literally, as the most beautiful items on the stage would be Shang Xirui’s finely embroidered costumes. They now “堆灰”, literally “pile ash/dust” (the character “灰” can mean both). Overall, the imagery evokes an empty stage, where the things once remembered by the speaker in their dreams are no longer there, likely due to both destruction and the simple passage of time.

---

Comparison to <此生此时>

There is actually another song on this drama’s soundtrack called <此生此时>, which you can listen to here. Those attentive can pick up on the fact that the lyrics are almost exactly the same despite the completely different melody.

The title of this insert song literally translates to “This Life, This Time.” In context, “this time” refers to “this era/this time period” rather than as an instance of an action. So you could understand it as “this life as it is in this era.” This compares to the ending theme, which is simply titled “This Life.”

You could interpret this alone in a variety of ways, but I think one of the easiest is that the melody of “This Life, This Time” fits in better with the popular musical styles of the time compared to the ending theme, “This Life”, which has a more timeless feel to it.

Moving beyond the title, there are actually a few very minor lyric changes. I’ve seen some translators online that have tried to pick up on possible changes to meaning from the differences. While I can see that interpretation, I personally think the changes are largely “cosmetic”, shifting the syllables to better fit in with the new melody. Usually when the writer is attempting a change in perspective on the song, there will be a more significant change in tense or in the pronouns to indicate different speakers.

Pronoun removals changes are listed below. These removals do not actively change the meaning of the line, though you can argue that they introduce a level of ambiguity.

<此生>:（我）猛一回头来不及防备 <此生此时>: 猛一回头来不及防备 // Removal of subject pronoun “I”

<此生>:（我们在）戏里灵魂相对 <此生此时>: 戏里灵魂相对 // Removal of subject pronoun “we”

<此生>: 梦里（你对我说）人间好美 <此生此时>: 梦里（你说）人间好美 // Removal of the object pronoun “me”

<此生>:（彼此都）懂得遗忘心碎 <此生此时>: 懂得遗忘心碎 // Removal of subject pronoun “each of us/both of us”

There is one line, the title drop line, where <此生此时> does actually add extra information to the line that was not present in <此生>.

<此生>: 此生有一段只能意会 // In this life, there is a time period you can only feel intuitively <此生此时>:（弥足珍贵）此生有一段只能意会 // [It is] extremely precious, in this life, there is a time period you can only feel intuitively

They add the phrase “弥足珍贵”, an expression for “extremely precious” in this line. This can be interpreted as a modifier on “this life” or on the specific “time period” since there’s a pause between the phrase and the rest of the line in the song.

What I find more interesting than the relatively minor changes in lyrics, though, is the difference in how the lines are split due to how the song is sung. The soothing melody for <此生此时> means that lines are often sung in longer phrases with different pauses compared to <此生>, which also means that we can better understand Yu Zheng’s intent when he wrote certain lines.

I’ve cited several instances of this above in my line-by-line notes. One really good example is this section of the chorus. In <此生>, the melodic structure means the section gets divided into a lot of small phrases with a lot of ambiguity in how they should be understood together.

我不后悔 风雪中和你走这一回 干了这杯 （我们在）戏里灵魂相对 有些惭愧 我不说但你心领神会 就此一醉 梦里（你对我说）人间好美

In contrast, in <此生此时>, this condenses nicely down, effectively tying together multiple phrases and better clarifying the relationship between them.

我不后悔风雪中和你走一回 干了这杯戏里灵魂相对 有些惭愧我不说但你心领神会 就此一醉梦里（你说）人间好美

---

And that concludes my notes on this song! This was probably much longer than it needed to be, but I wanted to clarify as many nuances as I could. I really love this drama, and again, highly recommend it. The music is beautiful.

When I get the time, I’m hoping to work translating and explaining the opening theme as well.

[sometimes-reading]

books i read in august

i don’t really know yet how i plan to structure this blog (most likely with reviews/discussions of books i read as i read them, rather than monthly reviews), but i had a pretty good reading month in august before i started this blog and i wanted to share what i read.

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

this is a young adult novel told in verse about a teenage boy who is deciding whether or not to kill the person who killed his brother. it takes place in a very short time frame and details his experiences going down the elevator in his apartment building on his way to kill the man.

i liked this book. i think that it's objectively well written, and the author clearly has a strong command of language. however, i felt like the verse format wasn't as conducive for this story. i generally like verse format novels, and i think that they are interesting, but this one was just missing something for me. the language was really good as i mentioned, but the poems in the book were very short and i felt that they could have been more fleshed out. i didn't really feel like i knew the characters other than their family history and their relationship to the immediate plot, and i would have liked to feel more connected to them. i also found the ending to be really unsatisfying and it was kind of hard to tell what happened; it didn't feel like the novel went anywhere specific and i was generally a bit confused.

tl;dr: this book was well written in terms of the language used, but i didn't feel like the execution of the plot was as strong. i liked it, but it didn't become a favorite for me.

The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

this is a young adult novel about a teenage girl in malaysia living through the violent racial conflict of 1969. this girl, melati, also has undiagnosed ocd which she believes is a demon that has the power to kill her family and friends if she doesn’t perform certain rituals to protect them. when she gets separated from her mother during the conflict, she has to deal with her ocd and find a way to reunite with her mom with the help of a teenage boy from the other side of the racial conflict.

um. wow. i say 4 stars, but it was probably a 4.5. i felt so much empathy for melati throughout the book. as someone who often struggles with a lot of the same tendencies as melati, the descriptions of her compulsions really hit home for me. i know first hand how difficult it is to constantly feel like it is your responsibility to protect everybody you love and care about. the way her anxiety was characterized felt very accurate to me. it is also a very interesting subject for a novel; i have never read anything about the racial conflict in malaysia before, so it was a new perspective. i thought this book was really well written, especially for a debut. i would definitely recommend it for those who like young adult fiction and books that accurately depict mental health issues.

tl;dr: this is a very good book. i would highly recommend it for its accurate depictions of ocd, its characterization, and its unique plot and subject.

Loveless by Alice Oseman - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

this is also a young adult novel. it is about an aroace university student, georgia, who is discovering her sexuality and the importance of strong friendships in her first year at school. it’s also written by the author of my favorite book, radio silence.

this is another book that is maybe more on the level of a 4.5, but i rounded up this time. i read this book very quickly. alice oseman’s characters are always so easy for me to fall in love with. the way she writes authentic teenagers is incredibly impressive, and the exploration of characters and themes never ceases to impress me. it only took me a couple of days to read this book, and i just kept wanting to come back and pick it up again. the characters and the writing style impressed me a lot, and i think it’s a very solid book. i didn’t like it as much as radio silence, which is my all time favorite book, but i could definitley see a lot of elements of the same writing style that i love so much. it’s also written by an aroace author, so it’s an own voices story, and it’s always good to get more solid representation in books. my favorite part of this book was obviously the characters. they were all really well written in my opinion, and their interactions and relationships were really realistic.

tl;dr: a great book! alice oseman is an incredible author and her characters are some of the most genuine teenage characters that i have ever read. i would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is a fan of ya contemporary literature, especially if you like oseman’s other works.

Another Country by James Baldwin - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

this is a 1960s novel that explores themes of race, love, sexuality, truth, and success. it is set in 1960s new york, and it is an insightful depiction of the conflicts present at that time. it’s also still highly relavent.

i read this book for school over the summer, and i really enjoyed it. baldwin is an impressive author, and his use of language and imagery was consistently lovely. i also thought that the way he addressed complex themes was very cohesive, mature, and insightful. i also didn’t feel like it was particularly conflated. sometimes literary fiction can feel out of reach, but this was generally easy to read and i was able to interpret the messages pretty well. this is a really well written book and i would absolutely recommend it. it is quite long, so it took me a while to read (but that’s also because i was doing pretty heavy annotating), but it was well worth the effort. it also made me interested in reading more things by james baldwin.

tl;dr: a well written, interesting literary fiction novel about life and conflict in 1960s new york. not too difficult to understand, and still very relavent. highly recommend!

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

this follows two different perspectives - jimmy and angel. jimmy is the frontman of a popular band, along with rowan and lister. angel is a huge fan of the band, along with her friend juliet. the book follows the events that somehow lead to angel and juliet becoming caught up in the lives of the three band members. it is an exploration of coincidence as well as the relationship between fame and fandom.

this is another alice oseman book! i love her writing, but this one wasn’t as strong for me. i didn’t feel as connected to the characters, which tends to be my favorite part of her books. maybe it’s because it was told from alternating perspectives; maybe it’s because there were more characters that i would consider part of the main cast than in some of her other books. i still liked it a lot, obviously, and i still think that it was very well written, but it just didn’t capture my attention as fully as radio silence and loveless both have. it could also just be that the subject of the book was a little bit less interesting to me. still, i thought it was an interesting exploration into the intricacies of fame, and that was a topic that i hadn’t really read about before. i also loved the similarities / overlapping phrases (?) between the two perspectives. good book, but not necessarily a favorite of mine.

tl;dr: this is an interesting book, but it didn’t speak to me as much as some of the author’s other writing has. i would still recommend it if the topic seems interesting to you, but i do think her other books that i have read are better (this is obviously very subjective as the premises of those books just interested me more).

[paragonevil]

I'm gonna be honest, as far as Aku, evil overlord dictator of an empire that's dedicated to wiping out most if not all of humanity, you write him too mushy. He's supposed to be a sociopath, from what we see in the show, but you have him being shipped with like, a dozen people. You write him waaayy too nice. That being said, I suppose if you didn't, you would have very limited interaction with people, and you've written out "development" for him, but the point still stands that he's way too roman

What do you think about my interpretation? | accepting!

ooc ★ Before I get onto my response, I’d like to thank you for having the audacity to send this. I feel there’s this unhelpful idea in the rpc that people have to agree with everything you post; and to say you disagree with someone’s interpretation is often met with ferocious resistance. But when I reblog memes of this nature asking for opinions, I want the good and the bad. I AM always looking to improve, and to not take criticism when I so freely dish it would be hypocritical of me, I guess. ( For lack of a better word, right off the top of my head. )

I COULD put this under a cut, but I feel this is important enough to just let it sit out in the open. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a while.

That said, two things for you.

Firstly, I LOVE writing violence! In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s in my top two favorite things to write, right beside slow-burn romance ( and particularly one-sided yearning ). However, while I used to jump at every opportunity to write violence, I can admit I’ve since slowed down a bit. Not only because I’ve gotten progressively less and less people coming to Aku trying to pick a fight with him, but also because I’ve come to feel that fight threads without a purpose to further the plot are repetitive and somewhat boring. It tends to be a lot of the same-old same-old; repetitive actions, repetitive imagery. And yes, while this is a significant piece of his character in the show, and I love exploring it even further and particularly pushing the bounds of his abilities, if it doesn’t serve a purpose in the greater scheme of a plot or an arc then... Why waste your time with it? And frankly this goes for all repetitive actions, like gratuitous sex and slice-of-life. If it doesn’t serve a purpose to write, such as say to kill an important enemy or fight a significant battle or even to maim a loved one when he’s not himself and bring down the angst hammer, then? Why.

Secondly, despite not wanting to write violence just for the sake of violence... I can admit I want some conflict over here. But that’s just the thing. In Aku’s main verse he’s samurai-less. I did this simply because the NUMEROUS Jack blogs there used to be have since become inactive, and if my initial intention with Aku’s blog almost from the very start was for him to kill a Jack and switch over to my Bad End universe, I can’t very well have Aku always worried about a ghostly, intangible threat that he can’t confront. And of all the Jack’s on this hellsite, of which I’ve written with and followed more than a few along the way, I can only name ONE which is still active. ( And another which followed me today, on that note, but they don’t have a rules nor an about page, so. )  ...But that first Jack I mentioned, @sonxflight, we don’t really write anymore. Nowadays Dari’s been more focused on fluff / romance threads, and I’ve been more interested in developing Aku’s mental health. Aku isn’t gonna go out of his way to confront a Jack that he views as not being his problem. Dari’s Jack isn’t the one from my Aku’s universe. Dari and I just kinda tag each other in dash memes and comment on one another’s posts once in a while; and that’s about the extent I see action from a Jack nowadays.

I would LOVE some more conflict on this blog! But I’m not going out of my way to find it if it doesn’t particularly serve to further my current plot— which is Aku’s eventual ascension to Godhood at the end of this year. And that’s another thing, if Aku himself doesn’t stand to gain anything from talking to someone, inciting a conflict, or being a dick to somebody, he’s pretty much going to keep his distance. He finds most people to be a waste of his time; and this is nothing against other RPers whom I love seeing on dash! Because lord knows I’d love to push him to interact with folks. But if Aku himself looks down his nose at most people and finds them not only boring but also boorishly stupid, then there’s not much else for it. He sees others that come to him for money, freedom, and other boons in exchange for their services as nothing more than cattle; and frequently this is how his meetings with new people go. Meeting others out in the field is the best way to get a truly organic and not copy-and-pasted interaction out of him. And even then, there’s still numerous factors which would predicate how such an encounter might go.

Because there’s not too much conflict on this blog for now, I’ve decided to take greater liberties with exploring shipping and platonic relationships also. But for those of you who have followed me for a while, who have seen me mention on more than one occasion that slice-of-life threads aren’t really my schtick, I can understand why you might be a bit confused. Well, allow me to explain: the reason I’ve chosen to place greater emphasis on these kinds of relationships lately is to preclude a little RP / character bleed mishap which happened recently and which impacted my enjoyment when writing as him and even just simply being on this blog. And by ‘recently’ I mean slowly, over a period of the past several months.

Aku’s entire arc with Rick demonstrated to both of us that he’s in an incredibly bad kind of headspace in regards to healthy relationships on this blog. In his universe with Rick, basically all his ties are a result of his relationship with Rick. Bill ( wildgcd, whose blog has since been deleted ) and Ashi ( @tigersteeth ) are both inactive, and have been for months +. They’re the only ones with whom Aku has a healthy relationship that isn’t directly tied to Rick in that universe, and as a result he tends to rely quite heavily on Rick for his social needs. So when Rick left him too, Aku’s abandonment issues reared their head. Unhelpfully, mun has a problem with abandonment amongst a slew of emotional / psychological problems quite similar in nature to the one’s Aku suffers from— albeit with a fun little mortal twist. 🤗 So I knew I needed to take action so I could comfortably be on his blog in the inevitability that Stephanie goes on hiatus again. Which is why I’m trying to focus a bit more on building more platonic and romantic relationships besides the ones with Rick and co. that way Aku has more people with whom to spend his time when Rick is away.

Furthermore, now that Jack’s out of the picture regardless of verse, Aku’s allowed himself to focus more on making friendships and forming attachments just in general. One of the reasons he tended not to do such before is because he felt that Jack would kill whomever he felt close to in an effort to get to him. In fact, he even shouted at Rick for daring to mention that he and Jack could possibly work together to build a future which would be brighter and better for everyone; because he felt certain that Rick would wind up being targeted by Jack to get to Aku.

He’s started going to therapy, also, to address long-held mistaken beliefs in himself, too. Beliefs which interfered with the relationships he had tried to foster with others; it was enough to frustrate him, when he let himself acknowledge such, and he knew he needed to sit down and talk with someone professionally if he didn’t exactly have friends around per se with whom he could talk. Also, I personally believe he chose not to do such before, because his very existence was hinged on destroying Jack so he could conquer the universe in peace without meeting resistance. While he knew he was unhappy and knew furthermore that he had some problems that needed addressing— and had even made a thin attempt to talk about such with himself in show canon as you recall—  ultimately his mental well-being took second banana to making sure Jack was DEAD.

The therapy, coupled with his own slow internal journey, some perspective which was afforded to him during Rick’s absence, and some 4th wall Discord conversations has lent him valuable insight on the way he functions—and how Nightmare works too. Who, in many ways is just himself but with unchecked mental delusions and mistaken beliefs that had grown unchecked. He saw what had happened to Nightmare mentally, and didn’t want such a fate for himself. Hence the therapy and greater, braver attempts to let himself be closer to others.

Finally in the case of Bill and Nightmare... both of them take place in different universes, of course. Universes which in themselves were split just after the break up between Aku and Rick. Aku is still thoroughly alone in those universes, because again. He doesn't have Rick and all the people who were brought into his life as a result of his relationship with him. He’s at that point in his immortal life where he’d like to try his courage and test out the things he’d discovered about himself in therapy and in his personal self-explorations, and see about developing a relationship with someone with a fresh perspective with his recent failure as Rick’s partner in mind. Which is why he’s so amicable with them and trying to get to know them better. He wants to see what a healthy relationship, platonic or otherwise, developed on his own might be like.

However. I WILL acknowledge that Aku trying to make friends with people is ooc. It’s ALSO ooc for Aku to try fucking / romancing someone. There, I said it.

But you know why that is? It’s because that facet of his character was never explored in canon, even in all the comics, games, and the addition of the 5th season in 2017. So I suppose you could say that if I were to play him absolutely true to his canon material he’d only ever be a fucking mauling, mutilating, destroying, force of nature. Which yes, he still is despite my writing him how I do with a greater emphasis here lately on developing relationships with other characters. I ask you: isn’t the whole point of RP to develop dynamics and explore facets of a character that canon neglected? I could do fight threads all day, boy; but please ask yourself: how much would that really serve to further my interpretation and understanding of him, if at that point I’m just rehashing canon fights with a fresh coat of paint and different enemies? Whereas platonic and romantic relationships are a thoroughly headcanon and character-development heavy area for a character like Aku, who hasn’t had a single friendship or romantic relationship in his canon media.

And if you’d like cliff notes, rp examples of him being fucking EVIL, and links to evil headcanons I have you’re more than welcome to send a second ask asking for said information. But I think I’ve already given you plenty to think about and read, unless you’re some kind of masochist and want to torture yourself more with reading my self-absorbed and self-assured opinion. Thanks for making it this far, here’s your consolation prize.

TL;DR: Canon already gives me fights for days, boy. And while I thoroughly enjoy writing fight threads, they tend to be repetitive and exhausting if they’re not serving a purpose in a plot arc. Whereas things like interpersonal relationships for a character like Aku, who did not see such development in his canon media, is full of things to explore. And ultimately that’s what RP is about, exploring facets of a character which canon doesn’t explore for you. Once again, thank you for asking, and I hope this answers your question. I can provide examples for everything cited above, as well as fight threads and evil moments abound if you’d like. Furthermore, if there’s anything I do in RP which confuses you or which you feel is ooc, I invite you to jump in my askbox again with further questions. I’d be happy to explain my reasoning for ANYTHING I write!

P.S. I INVITE you to form your own opinions and compare me to my duplicates, 90-100% of whom are inactive. <:) Here they are, for your browsing convenience: @unspeakablyevil @akunoakuma @onibred @aku-blogs @shogundad Take a gander, consider what I just told you, and then see if you can hit me with this same anon again, yes? 😏💕

[destinychose]

FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS.

Ven’s relationship with Master Eraqus is a complex one. As he has no memories of his past or his time with Xehanort, he considers the man his father and loves him dearly. He constantly seeks his approval, desperate to make his Master see that he isn’t just a child who needs protecting, that he can be trusted with the same level of responsibility awarded to Terra and Aqua. Despite loving Eraqus as one would their own father, he is extremely frustrated that he is constantly treated like he’s incapable of making rational decisions for himself, that he’s not strong enough to venture out into other worlds like his friends do. As time wears on, the feeling that he’s being caged and coddled continues to grow, but he is bound to his home out of respect for his Master and the unspoken fear that he really isn’t strong enough to leave on his own. He is but a ticking time bomb; when Vanitas cleverly gives him the right incentive, Ven finally abandons the cage which has held him for too long, uncaring of the consequences of his escape.

Following the revelation of his origins, Ven’s frustration towards his Master morphs into anger and hurt. Now understanding why he was kept so close to home despite his repeated attempts to convince his Master to allow him to visit other worlds, Ventus feels betrayed and he begins to question if Eraqus ever truly loved him, or if he merely feared what Ven might become were he able to grow stronger. However, he begrudgingly understands that fear, as it is something he feels himself with the knowledge of Xehanort’s plans to use him weighing heavily on his mind. Before Terra steps in, Ven was prepared to allow his Master to put an end to him if it meant avoiding being used to hurt his friends and the worlds he finally got the chance to visit.

As of his KH3 verse, Ventus has no knowledge that Master Eraqus has passed due to Xehanort’s manipulation of Terra, as he was flung into a portal to Destiny Islands before the end of the battle between student and teacher. Despite all that transpired between them, when he eventually learns of his Master’s death, it causes Ven immense grief and pain, something he struggles to deal with in the months following the final battle.

Ven considers Terra his own personal hero and views him as an older brother. He looks up to him in everything he does, oftentimes mimicking his speech or the way he holds himself— in his eyes, Terra might as well be the reason the sun rises and sets. He is loyal to a fault and quite often blind to Terra’s shortcomings, refusing to even entertain the notion of his best friend being anything but this invincible figure he’s built up in his mind. While his Master and Aqua begin to notice the stirrings of darkness within Terra, Ven remains willfully blind to it. He seeks his approval, to an even more intense degree than he does with Master Eraqus and Aqua, and is often looking for new ways to impress him or garner his praise. Ven is extremely dependent on Terra ( a dependency which comes into being as he begins to heal after his split with Vanitas ) and is willing to do whatever it takes to prevent his fear of being left behind from ever occurring, which is what enables Vanitas to effortlessly manipulate him into abandoning his home despite his Master’s wishes. Despite the imbalance due to their gap in age, Terra and Ven have a real bond, even if it resembles that of a younger and older brother rather than true, equal friendship.

As Terra begins to show signs of falling into darkness, Ven is crushed. For a while, he refuses to accept it, responding to any accusations with anger and blind disbelief as it conflicts with the image of his best friend that he’s had built up in his mind for the past two years. As he starts to uncover evidence of it himself, the steady, heart-wrenching realisation that his Master and Aqua were right begins to chip away at the perfect image of his best friend. While it’s not enough for him to completely denounce his friend, he begins to question himself and the person he thought Terra to be. He’s never given the chance to reach a conclusion before his clash with Vanitas.

To Ven, Aqua resembles a motherly/sisterly figure in his life. She is sweet and caring, which he takes great comfort in when experiencing distress ( whenever he suffers from nightmares, Aqua is the first person he turns to without fail ), but there are often moments where he finds her attempts to protect him overbearing. She’s a stickler for rules, which is often at war with his chaotic, rebellious side, which does create a small amount of distance between them. Despite that, Ven admires her magical ability ( which rivals even that of their Master ) and regularly marvels over her sheer skill and agility when in combat, to the point that he works on his magic in secret in an attempt to impress her with his improvement. As with Terra and Master Eraqus, Ven strives for her approval and wants nothing more than to make her see that he doesn’t need her protection from every little threat that might present itself. If he has questions he wants answering in order to sate his curiosity, more often than not he will turn to Aqua. If she doesn’t know the answer herself, there’s a high chance she’ll know which book he’ll need to read to find the answers he’s looking for.

After Aqua is made Master, that prior distance between them increases, made all the worse as she casts doubt on Terra’s motives. Torn between wanting to stand up for his friend and being unable to deny that he is beginning to notice the truth behind Aqua’s words, Ven is left in turmoil, a firm wedge driven between the three of them. In the midst of his confusion, his reaction is to lash out at Aqua, something he never gets the chance to apologise for as Xehanort’s plans come to fruition and he clashes with Vanitas, shattering his own heart in the process, resulting in his fall into slumber.

As of his KH3 verse, Ven’s focus is to defeat Xehanort and find Terra with Aqua’s help. He no longer cares about what happened in the past ( even if it is a conversation the three of them need to have in the future ); while it may be naïve of him, he wants nothing more than to go home and return to spending their nights beneath the same stars once more. No matter what it takes, he wants the three of them to be together again.

[vegetacide]

The Birds...Part II

Veg●notable: Just a little drabble I needed to explore more as I wasn’t quite finished with it.   Went in an introspective direction and I got dragged along for a ride. It hints again to past events for a couple characters and is a dynamic I wanted to poke at as it fascinates me for some reason. Might revisit it again some day with a different set of circumstances… ::shrugs:: who knows.  

Hope you enjoy my spewage of words.

Universe: TaG

Characters:  Virg/Kayo,  Scott

Continuation from HERE

o0o

Kayo sighed as she made her way across the slowly warming taupe granite flooring of the kitchen and took in the scene before her. The familiar blue of soiled flight gear and the heavy treads of soot covered boots greeted her critical eye. Strewn about haphazardly over the pool deck and patio furniture.  Tossed off carelessly as if in a hurry to be rid of nasal reminder of acrid smoke that burning materials, both natural and synthetic left behind.  

The pair empty whiskey bottles gave her the briefest of pauses as picked her way through the debris field of gear.  One stood rigid and tall with the barest dregs of amber at its base while the other keeled and dripping onto the clear acrylic topped table.  Silent sentinels to the sleeping pair of defeated pilots, used and empty.   

She’d been warned rather cryptically by John what to expect when she got home though truth be told,  she had expected as much. 

She had been party to last rescue,  was well acquainted with what the two sprawled first responders had borne witness to on the mainland and she didn’t blame them one bit for wanting to unload.  The manner of which may not have been her cup of tea but she understood the logic behind it.  The want to drown out a day full of bad experiences and file down its sharp edges of acute  remembrance to something much more manageable.

She had used the tactic herself a time or two until more recently when she found another outlet in a pair of strong open arms.   Had she been on the island she knew that the man she looked at now; prone as he was on the deck surrounding the pool, would have turned to her for such relief but duty had held their reunion at bay and so he had sought comfort in another way with company of a brotherly sort.  His cohort in all things. Scott.

Her keen gaze shifted from tousled black to rumpled chestnut and her brows furrowed at the lines of stress and the shadows of sleep deprivation that marred his visage.  Sleeping as he was she could almost see the carefree man of her youth though the touch of grey flecking through his hair quickly brought her back to the present.  

Oh, how their lives had changed. 

Resting a hand on one broad shoulder, she gave a slight squeeze and she waited a moment for blurry azure to open and blink up at her. Squinting as the early morning sunlight scorched his irises,  his brows sunk low and a gruff inquiry scratched it way out of his parched throat. 

“Kay?” 

“Go to bed, Scott.”  Her voice soft and admonishing.    

A bob of a head and she stood back as his long limbs untangled and pushed with little coordination up to vertical.   He teetered and she steady him, catching his elbow in one hand and grabbing a fist full of his grey arming tunic in the other before he could topple over.  

His muscles tensed like iron beneath her hands and his breath hitched as it passed warm over her cheek.  The oaken barley infused scent of it briefly cancelling out the smell of sweat and smoke. 

She caught a whiff of underlying cologne, noting its musky nuances and for a second her mind drifted back in time to a moment of adolescence and exploration. Passing glances and a few stolen moments between two individuals who were little more than children.  A short lived period in her life when she was still aching for understanding and acceptance despite her already welcomed presence with the people she would later call her family.  

They had all grown, drifted, went off on their journeys in life and things had changed.  She had grown, found herself, trained hard to be someone that she could be proud of and in the passage of time, that tiny spark had cooled and sputtered out.  Grown into a familial bond and friendship.  

Stiffening , she looked up.  Meet his vibrant blue stare and felt her pulse stuttered once. Her brows knitted in confusion at his unrelenting focus and she mentally shook her head at her own response,  stepping  back when she was sure he was rooted once more on stable feet.  

Her arms crossed over her chest and she looked away to his brother snoring softly just feet from them.   “Go to bed, Scott.” She repeated, turning and moving to kneel by the sleeping man, her fingers reaching out to sweep through bedraggled raven black hair. 

She listened a moment to the shuffle of laden foot steps as they retreated to the house, her expression thoughtful as she tried to decipher and understand that flicker of something that she’d seen.   

Peeking back over her shoulder, she watched Scott’s stooped frame start the ascent up the kitchen stairs. It was all best left in the past where it belonged,  Her heart and body belonged to another now and the feelings associated with it far surpassed anything she’d ever felt for anyone before.   Why something from childhood would come up now, something she had thought was truly dead and buried, she had no idea.  

Maybe she’d misread things. In her quest to become more than what she was, maybe she’d just closed herself off and stopped seeing what was there. Could she have done that?   

No, that wasn’t right.  She had changed and grown.   She hadn’t  closed off and suppressed. She was sure of that.  And after the metamorphosis she come out stronger and steady then she even had been as a child.  And found something she hadn’t expected in someone who she hadn’t thought she’d  been looking for.  Slowly, inexplicably he had become her whole life.

Giving up, she packed it away for later introspection and bent down to brush her lips over the cusp of an ear, a curl of flesh she knew well.  She spoke gently, knowing that rousing the man after the events of the rescue would be tantamount to waking a bear from hibernation.   Difficult, to put it lightly and even if successful, one was still liable to get bitten if not done correctly.  

She was well versed in the task,  well used to navigating his often surely moods when dragged out of the sleep his body needed so she did it gently,  lovingly and with care.  

A smile graced her lips as she looked down at him, arms tucked up under his head. Heavy shoulder raising and lowering in the slow, steady pace of deep sleep but she couldn’t leave him here.   Knowing the physical strain a rescue put on one’s body on a good day she highly doubted sleeping on the hard, unforgiving concrete slab would aid in his muscles’ recovery.   As it was,  he was going to regret the overindulgence of high octane liquor, his body really didn’t need the added abuse. 

Her lips passed quietly over his brow, lingered a moment on the scar the marred the tanned flesh just above his closed eyes and whispered softly to him.   He mumbled in returned. A garbled string of syllables that had warmth blossoming in her chest.  Her name tumbling from his lips on a sigh and he snuggled further into the pilfered patio cushion. 

“Come on, love.” She coaxed, her fingers playing down the line of his strong, stubbled jaw.  “You can’t sleep here.”   

Eyes the colour of dark honeyed oak rimmed with long, dark lashes fluttered open and the  immediate annoyance at the intrusive light was evident as his eyes squeezed shut again followed by a grumble of displeasure that had Kayo chuckling. 

“Don't bother growling at me, Big Guy.  She scolded though there was no censure in her tone. “I’m immune to your rather impressive bear impressions.”

He rolled then, catching an arm around her trim waist and Kayo tumbled off balanced onto his expanse of his chest.   His lips took on a decidedly smug curl as she yelped though the warm brown of his gaze stayed shuttered behind his lids. 

“You’re home.” His voice was a sensual low tenor,  gravelly from sleep. The sound of it rumbling under her hands where they rested on his thick muscles. 

He was rumpled and fuzzy and oh so sexy in the soft, dewy morning light cast by the sun. The rays of sunshine across the planes of his face, the bridge of his nose, emphasizing his high cheekbones and the dip in his chin that she loved.  It tangled in his hair and highlighted the mess in temperate hues of ebony that brushed down over his brow and blew softly in the light breeze.  

Smiling down at him, she swept the hair back from his forehead with her fingertips and traced a trail down the angle of his  nose, over the curve of his lips before she dropped a kiss on the dent found just below.  “I am and you’re sleeping on the patio.”

His hand spread wide over her back, slid up and came to a rest at the nap of her neck.  “It was a good place at the time…”

“And now?” She questioned watching his brows twitch in thought.  She could almost see the sluggish,  intoxicate wheels turning over in his mind as he assess his current location. 

It took him a moment to compile a response so Kayo got comfortable,  throwing a leg over his hips and settling into his strong embrace.  When he answered, she wasn’t surprised in the slightest.  

“Hindsight is 20/20 so….” He shrugged a shoulder and she enjoyed the play of muscle as it moved under his smooth flesh.  His flight jacket had been ditched somewhere and the white of his sleeveless, form fitting undershirt was a stark contrast to all that sun-kissed bronze. Hard to resist at the best of times, but pliant and close it was completely irresistible and one of her greatest  weaknesses.  

On impulse, she nipped the corded intersection and she saw the flash of pleasure shoot through his newly opened eyes.  Instead of fueling that spark of carnal need,  she nimbly gained her feet and held a hand out to him.  “Shower, now. You stink.”

Virgil pouted, took hold of her hand and grunted all the way up until he found his own.  He thanked her quietly when she swung under his arm to hold him steady. Taking advantage of the proximity, he pulled her in closer and nuzzled her neck. 

“Wash my back?”   

She could feel the smile on his lips as they grazed over her pulse point and a shiver raced down her spine as heat bloomed in the pit of her belly.  

“I don’t have much of a choice,  you can barely stand.”  Her point was emphasized as he teetered and Kayo umphed under the added weight of his 6 foot, 1 inch solidness. Virgil snorted a laugh.  

“You may ‘ave a point. Who’s rock’in the boat?”  His words, though clear were slurred.  

“That would be your feet and the whiskey.”   

“Oh ya...I forgot about the whiskey.”  He pulled away from her, reached out for the bottle on the table, missed it at least 3 times before curling his fingers around the neck of one of the empty soldiers. 

He peered inside, changed the angles and looked down the opening at the top.  Gave it a shake and frowned.  “It’s all gone. Who drank it?”

Kayo rolled her eyes,  took it from his slackening fingers before it could crash to the ground and slipped back under his arm again. “You so do not need more of that.” And lead him towards the house, a shower and his bed. 

“Hey, Kay… did you know the birds are watching us…?”  

“What?”

o0o 

[flickityfics]

Chatting It Up

So this was tough to write but the incidents I mentioned involves the new girl parts I have developed. It's weird cause I don't know what to do or what the cause is. I wouldn't even be doing anything but at random times I feel myself getting slick? Also a strange throb, please explain this. Also you'll be happy to know I went and got proper clothes just as you said, a nice lady really helped me out with all sorts. Hope you're doing alright.

-Sokka

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Hey gaang! How is everyone? The construction has been going smoothly just alot of work, it's tiring and boring so send me letters to keep me from dying of boredom please. I'm missing our adventures, I've been doing nothing but reading and taking notes for blueprints, it isn't all bad though, I've been watching the kyoshi warriors train and thinking about training with them again. I've gotta get back to work so hope I hear from you guys soon.

-Sokka

_____________________________________________

Sokka had just dropped off his letters when he decided it was a good time to harass Zuko at work. He came into the Jasmine Dragon with a bounce to his step spotting Zuko immediately serving some customers. He grabbed the same small table near the kitchen and sat himself down. Rummaging through his bag did he find one on 'Dangers of Enchantments' Sokka was starting to think he should rule out enchantments since most had apparent side effects which he couldn't seem to find or sense, enchantments also needed to be kept up and if not he would have reverted back by now. He decided it was best to cross that one off.

"You like magic?" Zuko asked when he came up to her table finally. He noticed Miyuki with another book in her hands, her books seem to be all about magic so far.

Sokka smiled up to Zuko, "Actually I hate magic. I think it's illogical, impractical, it's dangerous and quite frankly I don't understand people's obsession with it." He stared up at the fire bender completely exasperated.

Zuko couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, it's funny seeing Miyuki looking so irked by the subject of magic.

"I don't understand it myself but my uncle loves talking about it and bringing it up often. He loves saying magic is in everything." Zuko couldn't help revealing, it was nice opening up to someone even if he still had to lie about who he really was. He never got to open up to anyone not even his uncle when he tried to and he didn't have his mother anymore, and it was never an option to tell his father or Azula, any sign of weakness would be exploited by them he thought depressingly.

"I think me and your uncle would have interesting debates on the matter." Sokka supplied, he didn't know much about Zuko's uncle except that Toph likes him but he'll still keep his suspicions just like with his nephew. "Anyways will you be taking a break soon?" He spoke hoping to get more time with the fire prince.

"Oh, uh my breaks in twenty minutes. " Zuko was surprised that Miyuki wanted to talk with him more. He didn't know what to expect from this girl but he knows he's enjoying it.

"Perfect, enough time for me to order and wait for you." Sokka said sweetly to Zuko.

Zuko shyly smiled back, "What would you like to order?" He waited, Zuko was curious about what Miyuki and he could talk about. He wasn't known for being quite versed at talking to ladies. So far conversations with Miyuki have been awkward but nice.

"I'll try the three berry flavored tea you guys got." He doesn't really like tea but this fruity one looks promising he figured.

"Alright, it'll just take a moment." With that saud Zuko walked back to the kitchens while Sokka went back to his reading.

"Here you go." Zuko had finally come back and settled himself across from Miyuki passing over the tea as he did so. He told his uncle that'd he take his break early and the old man just smirked and couldn't rush him out the kitchens fast enough something about, 'young love is in the air' ugh his uncle was going senile.

"Ah thanks." Sokka slipped his material's into his satchel making room for the fire prince as he sat down. Zuko seemed to have his own drink when he took the chance to look at him properly, he noticed the other boy seemed nervous and quiet so looks like he'll have to start the conversation.

" So what books do you read when you have the time?" Sokka asked.

"Boring stuff." Zuko didn't want to admit how he only read books on war strategies, weaponry materials and maps mostly. He didn't really know how to talk well with other teens his age but he knew talking about war strategies and the stuff alike weren't fun topics to discuss.

" Boring stuff as in..?" Sokka wasn't gonna let this go, he needed information from this guy. It seems like he has to pull teeth just to get this jerk bender to open up.

Zuko could only sigh seeing no way to avoid it if he wanted to talk to the water tribe girl. 'just hope she doesn't find me dull and annoying like my sister and her friends do. It's not my fault I never got to make any friends'

"I read up on some weaponry guides mainly on dual broadswords..uh lots of maps and very rarely on occasion a bedtime book that I kept from my mother."

Sokka didn't know how to take Zuko's somber expression mentioning his mother. He knew exactly how hard it was losing a parent but was it okay to comfort the person he despises? Sokka thought it was best to offer some bit of comforting. He leaned forward and reached out his hand to grab Zuko's elbow and gave a squeeze.

"I'll have you know maps are my favorite things to read even though I'm not too good at reading them but maybe some time you can show me." Sokka hated to admit that he couldn't read maps too well, 'the stuff is honestly hard to understand' but he knew Zuko would be the best considering how fast he always managed to track down the gaang so fast.

Zuko couldn't help chuckling at the girl and finding comfort in her presence. Something about Miyuki made things so simple plus she didn't pressure him or get awkward about mentioning his mother or make fun of him for his lack of social skills.

"Sure. I don't mind telling you more about maps, I've got tons of them." Zuko quirked his lips into a smile, he couldn't help finding it amusing that Miyuki found maps enjoyable, she was probably just faking it so he didn't feel so embarrassed about himself. He knew his life wasn't ideal for friendships or socializing of any kind but he was getting better since deciding to let go of his obsession with getting his honor back and working the tea shop with his uncle.

"I have a few myself but alot of them aren't updated which is annoying. Since my travels to Ba Sing Se, alot of new paths weren't mentioned or even the dangers that came with choosing a path, I've gotten lost and into trouble so many times because the maps we're wrong and dumb. I swear someone needs to re-write these maps with a lot more detail oh oh and even small detours you can take that are nice relaxing spots or even good food locations and duh of course the dangers to look out for, ugh there's so much you can say and people will appreciate it, I know I would!" Sokka had to take a drink from his tea to shut himself up realizing he went on a whole unnecessary tangent.

"Why don't you write that book? You've got some really valid points there." Zuko was honestly impressed with the girl, she went from exasperated to excited with so many ideas real fast and all very good ideas actually. He never got to enjoy his travels or any detours searching for the avatar but maybe if he traveled for himself he'd get to enjoy it for once with new opportunities to discover.

"You think I should write a book? And you have no problem with that?" Sokka genuinely found himself surprised with Zuko the fire prince Zuko telling a girl, a civilian water tribe girl nonetheless to write a book with no problem, 'geez this guys got more layers than an onion' Sokka was really finding it hard to keep hating this guy.

"Yes and no?" Zuko was now confused, what was he suppose to say? He couldn't tell if she was upset or if that was a trick question."Uh..I think your ideas are great for a book...I see no problem with it?" He suggested questioningly.

"Lee, do you know how many books I found written by women from the library and bookstore I visited here? Ten total and all about cooking, fashion, crafts, mannerisms for young ladies, gardening, how to be a proper wife, events planning, dancing, proper childcare and cleaning steps. Sadly I myself never noticed the lack of books by women. And I've met tons of women with great ideas and adventures of their own throughout my travels who could write the most amazing things."

"Oh, I never noticed that either. Maybe you should you try your hand at it and who knows it might just inspire other women to do the same." Zuko suggested. When he really thought about it, it really was unfair that women still didn't get many opportunities as men do solely based on their gender. He's met women who were quite tough and challenging yet they still had no voice or real power when it came to a man usurping them, all it would take was a man's words to completely debase a woman.

"I-huh..well thanks for the support." Good to know Zuko was somewhat of a decent guy but it still doesn't excuse his behavior towards the gaang. Zuko seemed to be to putting on a good act here in Ba Sing Se but how far did that really go? Sokka knew he needed to find out Zuko's motives and fast.

"Tell me more about yourself, I've been talking here the most." Sokka encouraged the other boy.

"Well I meditate, train and work." Ugh, how pathetic did he sound? He now felt even more hopeless in front of Miyuki. He just sat there hanging his head low gripping onto his drink praying to Agni that his embarrassment passed over soon.

"Well sounds like you need to get out more. How about we go to a poetry session that I know of? We can laugh at all the bad ones they come up with and cry over the good ones, I'm emotional I'll have you know but really I find it quite fun and enjoyable." This was the perfect opportunity for him to keep Zuko by his side and maybe keep him distracted from bumbing into his sister and friends.

Zuko couldn't help keep the surprise from his face, he's never been invited to hangout before and Azula forcing him out with her friends didn't count. Someone wanting to spend time in his company for a long period of time no matter how boring and embarrassing he was was a nice feeling.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Great, I'll hear out for the next poetry session and come visit you with the plan."

"Alright and my breaks up, I'll have to get back to work. See you tomorrow?" Zuko hoped he didn't sound to desperate to see her again, it was nice having a friend? It was probably too soon to say that but maybe they could be.

"I can come by tomorrow after my errands. Thanks for the drink." Sokka had gotten his pouch out and handed Zuko change. Sokka couldn't help noticing Zuko's crazy warm hands, 'huh, must be a fire bender thing' he thought.

Zuko felt as Miyuki put the cold change in his hand and couldn't help look at the beautiful contrast their skins made, his a pale white to her beautiful dark brown. He had to shake his thoughts from imagining their hands entwined and smiled at Miyuki before heading to his uncle in the kitchens to help with the next orders.

Sokka left as soon as he saw Zuko go back into the kitchens. He had a big day tomorrow so it left him a nice chance to prepare early and plan things for tomorrow.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Twenty-Six: Moody Person ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto ] [ SasuHina, death ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

To call Uchiha Sasuke a moody person is both a massive understatement...and a huge misstatement.

Because yes, ‘moody’ is a word that does, indeed, fit him from a distance. Short-tempered, impatient, depressed and antisocial more often than not.

But to write him off as simply ‘moody’ is a gross lack of depth. After all, one can hardly go through what Uchiha Sasuke has gone through and not come out worse for wear. ‘Moody’, therefore, seems far too light a word for what he feels. To lose not only your family, but your entire extended bloodline in a single night - being exposed to the brutal murder of your parents via genjutsu - watching your brother, the culprit, escape almost unfettered save for your own trembling, desperate attempts to stop him?

Why yes, one would become quite ‘moody’ after experiencing so much at the tender age of seven.

And yet, many people wrote him off as much. Including, but not limited to, those who would later become his teammates. Naruto, another sufferer of great loss, thought it best to approach Sasuke through antagonizing him. Sakura, one with no understanding of loss, though it wise to pursue him with shallow inclinations of romance.

Neither of which, of course, was anywhere near a proper approach.

Even his sensei went about it in rather...questionable ways. But Kakashi, like Sasuke, had suffered much...and was given the typical Konoha treatment.

In other words...none. Sympathy does not a proper shinobi make, in the eyes of the village. Everyone loses something in a world of war and subterfuge. Why make any attempts to console those who suffer loss when there’s hardly anyone who hasn’t?

But it was the mishandling of him that made such a pointed difference. Sasuke had one goal. To kill his brother, the murderer of their clan, and avenge the deaths of those he’d cared about. Simple enough, and yet...glaringly looked over. Never was there talk of helping him. Of agreement: that the Uchiha deserved justice. No...the only time anyone seemed to give a second thought to Sasuke’s goal was when it interfered - however indirectly - with their own.

Sasuke’s decision to abandon Konoha - a village that had offered him no comfort, no help - was met with cries of betrayal. How dare he leave a place where his wants and needs were ignored? Naruto wouldn’t stand for it - his friend was allowed no independent thought…! He had to do what Naruto wanted. Sakura, too, couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving. He was their friend. And while it could be argued the roots of friendship were there - Sasuke saved Naruto on their mission to Nami, and defended Sakura against Gaara - he had larger goals. To be tied to others was to risk losing them, and risk losing sight of his singular purpose. Nothing could stop his need to bring peace to the restless, murdered spirits of his clan. Not friendship, not village loyalty...nothing.

But his leaving wasn’t seen that way. It wasn’t seen as an act of necessity, but rather of selfishness.

And yet he was far from the one being selfish.

If his team - his village - wouldn’t offer him the help he needed...he’d find it elsewhere. The risks didn’t matter...only the end result. Orochimaru had power: that much was obvious. He didn’t care if it marked him a traitor to Konoha. His utmost loyalty wasn’t to a village, but to a clan.

A clan then dead.

Of course...there was much Sasuke didn’t know. Was never intended to know. But when he did...he simply changed course. Itachi wasn’t guilty - not truly. One doesn’t blame the knife for digging into your back, but the hand behind it.

Konoha had sanctioned the clan’s demise...so it was Konoha that would repay him that blood debt. Generations of abuse and neglect - met rightfully with disdain and a want for freedom - had been met with thrown-away negotiations and a death warrant. And not just for those who planned the coup, oh no...the entire bloodline - down to the penultimate child - would be the price for the Uchiha daring to rise against a village that had treated them as second class since the village’s founding, all thanks to one man. A man that had, yes, led them...and that they had turned their backs on in favor of a village that would never trust them again.

Obito’s telling of the truth; the prior Hokage’s stories; the war; his brother’s own words...it all served to both settle him, and yet confuse him. Enough so that he fought his best friend nearly to their deaths...and then just...gave up.

...at least, in part.

Uchiha Sasuke may have let up his desire to clear the Kage, and to contain the bijū. But there was one thing he refused to let die: the village-sanctioned murder of his bloodline.

Some thought him too forward, too angry, too bent on revenge. One might dare to call him ‘moody’. But to Sasuke, there was no taking that truth lying down. He’d either tear the truth from Konoha’s chest and hold it aloft in the sun from its birth in the shadows...or he’d die trying.

Thankfully, it didn’t come to death. It came to an arrangement. The clans’ heirs and children in his class - made aware of the truth - banded their lines together to face the council. Expose the truth. Make sure their clans would never be next...and that Sasuke’s successors - should he ever have any - be free of the hidden shadows of their pasts.

But even upon returning to Konoha like so many people wanted...he couldn’t get any peace. The walking on eggshells. The panicked looks when he’d walk up. The clear nervousness his classmates felt in his presence despite making feeble attempts to act like they didn’t think he was one wrong word away from exploding.

It was...exhausting. And only made him all the less inclined to socialize.

But there was one person from the eleven that not only failed to patronize him...but genuinely made efforts to connect.

And that was Hyūga Hinata.

At first he was at a bit of a loss as to why. He’d never spoken to her, or...if he had, it was brief enough he had no memory of it. The only real connection they had was, to his knowledge, his (rather tattered) friendship with Naruto, and her infatuation with the blond.

But, slowly...he learned more.

She was no longer hung up on his teammate. Or, rather...she was doing her best to move on. And their clean slate meant that, compared to many others their age, he had no reason to resent her...and vice versa. Add in a mutual friend, their odd third-and-fourth wheel roles to the rest of team seven, and the startling parallels in their pasts...and Sasuke found himself...intrigued.

...it had been some time since someone genuinely caught his interest. Let alone it being someone who seemed, in turn, curious about him...and not in any way that wanted something from him. To Hinata, he was a friend of friends. A fellow classmate. A comrade. And his actions, though often dire, were done in the name of justice...mostly. To her...he wasn’t beyond redemption, but rather worthy of it. And she’d taken it upon herself to help him start.

...it was odd. But no less appreciated, even if he was...confused by it at first.

And slowly - ever so slowly - he started to lose his edge. Though still short-tempered, it was cooled by her urgings to be patient. Though still blunt, he found ways to be so without being crass about it. His mood slowly began to lighten, though he could - and would - never completely shed his changes. The past that molded him could never be forgotten...but it could be tempered by a gentler future.

“...what’s gotten into him…?”

Blinking, Hinata turns to her companion. Sakura, standing beside her, is watching her two teammates interact several paces before them. Naruto, ever-pestering, is giving the Uchiha a hard time about...something. Hinata missed what, precisely. But rather than snap or skulk, Sasuke manages a hint of a smirk, hands in his pockets and air aloof rather than dark. He actually looks to be bantering with the blond.

“...what?”

“Sasuke-kun, he’s...he’s smiling, and...joking. I haven’t seen him do that in…” Sakura fades to silence, slowly shaking her heard. “It’s just...odd.”

“...I think he’s been feeling b-better recently.”

That earns a glance. “...how would you know?”

“W-well, we’ve...we’ve been talking, that’s all.”

“...you talk to Sasuke-kun?”

“...is that weird?”

“I…” Sakura’s brow furrows. “...I guess not. But...he hardly speaks to us, and we’re his teammates…”

Hinata hesitates. This is something Sasuke confided in her, given her easy-listener attitude. “I...I think he just, um...he just felt...uncomfortable around you two for a-a while, right? I mean...a lot happened between you after he...he left. He was rather upset that you learned about the massacre, and just…” She gestures rather sheepishly. “...you just...ignored it…? You knew what the village had done, and yet...you wanted him to come back. You never said you’d address it, or...h-help him get justice. You just...kept trying to drag him back. Back to a place he’d learned his family was m-murdered, and...ordered so by those who led the village. If you were in his shoes, wouldn’t...wouldn’t that upset you…?”

A look of scandal overtakes the Haruno’s face. “How do you...know all that?”

Glancing aside, Hinata hesitates for a long moment. “...l-like I said, we’ve...been talking. Or rather...he talks, and I...I listen.”

For a moment, a look of hurt tinged with jealousy passes over Sakura’s face. “...I see. It’s true, we...we’ve got a lot to address, but…” She gestures after Sasuke. “...he wouldn’t talk to us.”

“...he needed time. To think, and...about a lot of things, Sakura-chan.”

“...guess you’re right.”

“Just...be patient with him. He’s been carrying a l-lot of pain for a long time. And…” Hinata shrinks a bit. “...it was a bit...c-compounded by...things that happened after he, um...left.”

Sakura glances aside, expression cool. “...yeah.”

“...a-anyway...maybe that’s a good sign…? Maybe he’ll, um...he’ll start opening up a bit more, now! If his mood is better, then…”

“Well, I don’t know what point there is now.”

Hinata stumbles. “I...w-what?”

The rosette avoid her eyes. “Seems he’s already doing that...and with someone who never even spoke to him before he left. What use is there in talking to us, if he’s got you?”

“S...Sakura-chan!”

Ignoring her, Sakura struts forward, pushing between her two teammates and disappearing.

“...Sakura-chan?” Naruto calls, hesitating a moment before going after her. “Hey, w-wait!”

Stepping up nervously beside Sasuke, Hinata curls a hand at her chest.

“...what did you do?”

“...I…” Her expression wilts. “...I was just telling her about...about talking to you, and she...I think she took it the wrong way. I wasn’t trying to…?”

Sasuke gives a small sigh. “...she’s still taking this all too personally. She knows she messed up, but she’s still clinging to what she wanted, even if she knows she won’t get it. She thinks she can both fear me and love me. Which, of course...is ridiculous.” He scoffs. “...now who’s the moody one…?”

Hinata’s gaze falls. “...I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“You...you were doing well with Naruto-kun, and I...I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. Sakura’s the one making a fuss out of something she doesn’t need to worry about. My being friends with you isn’t a bad thing. She’s just stuck between moving on and clinging to her jealousy over me. That’s not your fault. That’s her own issue to work out, Hyūga. Don’t mistake her blunders for yours.”

She considers that silently.

“...anyway...if you want to head home with them gone, I understand. I had a feeling this wouldn’t last long.”

“Oh, but…?”

“It’s fine.” He gives her a glance. “...a little progress is still progress.”

“...I guess you’re right. Um...I’ll s-see you later, Sasuke-kun. Have - have a good afternoon.”

“...you too.”

                                                                .oOo.

     This...isn't exactly what I wanted this to be, buuut...I tried? I was majorly sick yesterday, and today was a long day, so I'm not at the top of my game, aha~      Basically just more Sasuke introspective because...I love to write it lol - and a bit of a scene at the end. I don't think I've really touched on Sakura's lingering jealousy in ALAS at all yet. I've done Hinata's with Naruto, but admittedly I just...don't like Sakura much, so I don't write her if I can help it. Not that I HATE her, but...her character is just SO mishandled in canon imo. Hence her needing (and getting) a lot of work in ALAS' third arc. She has a lot to learn, and it's not easy...but she gets there.      ...eventually xD      Anyway, I'm bushed, so I'll call it there. Thanks for reading!

[writing-prompts-for-friends]

Notes from Robert McKee’s “Story” 09: Genre and Expectations

The majority of this section defines genres and sub-genres of story. I’ll provide a summary of them at the end of the post. I think that we all as writers know what genre our works tend to lean toward, so I instead want to focus on what McKee has to say about what is expected of writers as dictated by genre and by the audience. 

Mastery of Genre

As life-long consumers of media, we have ingrained expectations of a story once we hear the genre. A rom-com? Well then, we’re in for a light-hearted comedy with a happy ending for the love interests. High fantasy? There’s gonna be lore and magic and elves and dwarfs, and a massive conflict that will probably span multiple novels or films. 

“The genre sophistication of filmgoers presents the writer with this critical challenge: He must not only fulfill audience anticipations, or risk their confusion and disappointment, but he must lead their expectations to fresh, unexpected moments, or risk boring them. This two-handed trick is impossible without a knowledge of genre that surpasses the audience’s.”

As writers, it is our job to identify our genre and research it thoroughly. In the previous section about setting, McKee explains how the setting of the story gives the writer both limitations and inspiration. 

Genre is, in a certain way, the frame in which the setting and story sit. Depending on the genre, the frame can be pliable or it can be rather fixed. Here you need to study your own genre deeply to find out exactly how flexible it is. For example, the genre of “Comedy” is much more pliable than that of the “Crime” genre. There are sub-genres, of course. But under the vast umbrella of “Comedy” almost anything goes as long as we can get a laugh out of it. “Crime” on the other hand, generally involves a struggle between a criminal and a justice-seeker (with the justice-seeker most commonly being the protagonist) and culminates in one triumphing over the other. 

How to Master Your Genre

“Never assume that because you’ve seen films in your genre you know it. This is like assuming you could compose a symphony because you have heard all nine of Beethoven’s.”

McKee states that genre study is best done in the following way:

List all the works that feel similar to yours, both successes and failures. Studying works that are similar to yours but were failures can lead to great insights.

Study each of these works from page to page, breaking each one down into elements of setting, role, event, and value. 

Stack these analyses on top of each other and look down through them all and ask yourself, “What do the stories in my genre always do? What are its conventions of time, place, character, and action?

Until you find these answers, the audience will always be one step ahead of you. 

Personally, that sounds like a lot of work lol. But doing case studies like he describes would certainly help me to better understand my genre. Idk when I’ll have time for it, but...well. I’ll work on it. 

Creative Limitations

This section really echoes what McKee had to say about setting, in that both setting and genre create boundaries for you to work within, but having boundaries pushes you to be more creative. 

Until now, I’ve always started writing a story on a whim, based on a single scene in my head that grows into some 300 page monstrosity. I resisted plotting and just wrote what I wanted to write that day. I enjoyed the freedom that came with having no specific plans and not thinking much about my genre. 

However, McKee uses a brilliant example to illustrate the beneficial aspects of understanding and working within the bounds of your genre:

“Robert Frost said that writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down, for it’s the self-imposed, indeed artificial demands of poetic conventions that stir the imagination. Let’s say a poet arbitrarily imposes this limit: He decides to write in six-line stanzas, rhyming every other line. After rhyming the fourth line with the second line he reaches the end of a stanza. Backed into this corner, his struggle to rhyme the sixth line with the fourth and second may inspire him to imagine a word that has no relationship to his poem whatsoever--it just happens to rhyme--but this random word then springs loose a phrase that in turn brings an imagine to mind, an image that in turn resonates back through the first five lines, triggering a whole new sense of feeling, twisting and driving the poem to a richer meaning and emotion.

Thanks to the poet’s Creative Limitation of this rhyme scheme, the poem achieves an intensity it would have lacked had the poet allowed himself the freedom to choose any word he wished.

The principle of Creative Limitation calls for freedom within a circle of obstacles. Talent is like a muscle: without something to push against, it atrophies.”

So one of our first steps as writers is to identify our genre or combination of genres, and then learn the genre conventions. 

Genre conventions are the expected aspects of a certain genre. In a “Boy Meets Girl” romance genre, an obvious convention is that a boy and a girl must meet. It isn’t a cliche--it’s a necessary part of the equation. These conventions force us to use our imagination to reinvent the paradigms our genres and audiences demand, and if we can do it right, we fulfill their expectations while giving them something they had never dreamed of before.

Mixing and Reinventing Genres

What better way to sum up this section than Run DMC’s “Walk This Way,” which was the first hip hop hybrid video every played in heavy rotation on MTV? 

Generally, a work tends to be a mix of two or more genres. For example, there is a Love Story subplot in just about EVERYTHING nowadays, for better or for worse. By mixing genres we as writers have a chance to give the world something that has never been seen before. 

Something that McKee stresses is that genres are not static. He says:

“Genres are simply windows on reality, various ways for the writer to look at life. When the reality outside the window undergoes change, the genres alter with it.”

Social attitudes change. This means that what may have been a compelling story 50 years ago may not be as compelling when looked at once again today. The example McKee uses is the 1950′s film FALLING IN LOVE, which was about a man and woman who fell in love with each other but were already married and in unhappy relationships. Nowadays, in mainstream America, divorce isn’t a big deal. If an audience in 2020 watched this film, they’d just say, “You’re married to people you hate--just get a divorce already!”

“The audience wants to know how it feels to be alive on the knife edge of the now. What does it mean to be a human being today?

Innovative writers are not only contemporary, they are visionary. They have their ear to the wall of history, and as things change, they can sense the way society is leaning toward the future. They then produce works that break convention and take the genres into the next generation.

The finest writers are not only visionary, they create classics.”

McKee’s List of Genres

McKee states that there are many different ways to break genres down, and his is neither the best nor the most complete. Also, keep in mind that this book is actually focused around storytelling through film, so the references he uses are not books, but films. 

LOVE STORY. It’s sub-genre, Buddy Salvation, substitutes friendship for romantic love. 

HORROR FILM. This genre devices into three sub-genres: the Uncanny, in which the source of horror is astounding but subject to “rational” explanation, such as beings from outer space, science-made monsters, or a maniac; the Supernatural, in which the source of horror is an “irrational” phenomenon from the spirit realm; and the Super-Uncanny, in which the audience is kept guessing between the other two possibilities. 

MODERN EPIC (the individual versus the state).

WESTERN. 

WAR GENRE. Although war is often the setting for another genre, such as the Love Story, the WAR GENRE is specifically about combat. Pro-war versus Antiwar are its primary sub-genres. 

MATURATION PLOT or the coming of age story

REDEMPTION PLOT. Here the film arcs on a moral change within the protagonist from bad to good. 

PUNITIVE PLOT. In these, the good guy turns bad and is punished. 

TESTING PLOT. Stories of willpower versus temptation to surrender.

EDUCATION PLOT. This genre arcs on a deep change within the protagonist’s view of life, people, or self from the negative (naive, distrustful, fatalistic, self-hating) to the positive (wise, trusting, optimistic, self-possessed)

DISILLUSIONMENT PLOT. A deep change of worldview from the positive to the negative.

COMEDY. Subgenres range from Parody to Satire to Sitcom to Romantic to Screwball to Farce to Black Comedy, all differing by the focus of comic attack (bureaucratic folly, upper-class manners, teenage courtship. etc.) and the degree of ridicule (casual, caustic, lethal).

CRIME. Subgenres vary chiefly by the answer to this question: From whose point of view do we regard the crime? Murder Mystery (master detective’s POV); Caper (master criminal’s POV), Detective (cop’s POV), Gangster (crook’s POV), Thriller or Revenge Tale (victim’s POV); Courtroom (lawyer’s POV); Newspaper (reporter’s POV); Espionage (spy’s POV), Prison Drama (inmate’s POV); Film Noir (POV of a protagnoist who may be part criminal, part detective, part victime of a femme fatale). 

SOCIAL DRAMA. This genre identifies problems in society--poverty, the education system, communicable diseases, the disadvantaged, antisocial rebellion, and the like--then constructs a story demonstrating a cure. It has a number of sharply focused sub-genres: Domestic Drama (problems within the family), the Women’s Film (dilemmas such as career versus family, lover versus children), Political Drama (corruption in politics), Eco-Drama (battles to save the environment), Medical Drama (struggles with physical illness), and Psycho-Drama (struggles with mental illness). 

ACTION/ADVENTURE. This often borrows aspects from other genres such as War or Political Drama to use as motivation for explosive action and derring-do. If ACTION/ADVENTURE incorporates ideas such as destiny, hubris, or the spirtual, it becomes the sub-genre High Adventure. If Mother Nature is the source of the antagonism, it’s a Disaster/Survival work.

HISTORICAL DRAMA. The treasure chest of history is sealed with this warning: What is past must be present. He must find an audience today. Therefore, the best use of history, and the only legitimate excuse to set a film in the past and thereby add untold millions to a budget, is anachronism--to use the past as a clear glass through which you show us the present. 

BIOGRAPHY. This cousin to Historical Drama focuses on a person rather than an era. BIOGRAPHY, however, must never become a simple chronicle. That someone lived, died, and did interesting things in between is of scholarly interest and no more. The biographer must interpret facts as if they were fiction, find the meaning of the subject’s life, and then cast him as the protagonist of his life’s genre. These caveats also apply to the sub-genre Autobiography.

DOCU-DRAMA. A second cousin to Historical Drama, DOCU-DRAMA centers on recent rather than past events. 

MOCKUMENTARY. This genre pretends to be rooted in actuality or memory, behaves like documentary or autobiography, but is utter fiction. It subverts fact-based filmmaking to satirize hypocritical institutions.

MUSICAL. I would love to see a musical novel lol.

SCIENCE FICTION. In hypothetical futures that are typically technological dystopias of tyranny and chaos, the SCIENCE FICTION writer often marries the man-against-state Modern Epic with Action/Adventure. But, like history, the future is a setting in which any genre may play. 

SPORTS GENRE. Sport is a crucible for character change. This genre is a natural home for the Maturation Plot, the Redemption Plot, the Education Plot, the Punitive Plot, the Testing Plot, the Disillusionment Plot, Buddy Salvation, and Social Drama.

FANTASY. Here the writer plays with time, space, and the physical, bending and mixing the laws of nature and the supernatural. The extra-realties of FANTASY attract the Action genres but also welcome others such as the Love Story, Political Drama/Allegory, Social Drama, and/or Maturation Plot.

ANIMATION. I guess you could equate this to graphic novels, comics, and manga. 

Source: McKee, Robert. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting. York: Methuen, 1998. Print