#he is not a nice person!! BUT when he cares about someone that is when he shines. even if it's a bit too much & a bit too intensely (lydia)

[sponfawn]

^^^ for an irl example, I had a supervisor not too long ago. White, cishet, in his 30s, grew up in a v white environment. Genuinely nice, funny guy who worked hard. He gave me shit (in a v joking, non-serious way) about being the physically weakest/having the lowest endurance of our team in a physically demanding job but if anyone told him that they didn't like the way he joked about something he'd immediately apologize and never do it again. Def not far right or alt right guy, not really woke but also was a genuinely nice person who cared.

There was a point where HR was asking each team member privately about their experiences and if there were any concerns we wanted to bring up. None of us had any and we said so. She went "are you sure? Nothing at all?" We all said "nope our crew and our crew leader all get along great and we work safely".

Then it turns out that the first crew he had years back was a nightmare. He didn't find out til well after they had all left for other jobs but according to his boss, they demanded that they be able to interview him before he was hired. When they were told it would be impractical but that they could suggest questions they wanted to ask, they wanted to ask what his sexual orientation was, his gender assigned at birth, and his political views, all of which are v illegal to ask in an interview so they were told "no were not going to ask that because we cannot legally ask that".

The next year or so was filled with complaints about him. They claimed he was laughing at them (he was someone who just laughed a lot in general), was harassing them via eye contact, was making inappropriate jokes, etc, over basically everything he did. To the point where he would just avoid eye contact with all of them all the time, and at lunch breaks he'd just go and sit by himself, silently, cuz they never communicated directly with him about what was bothering them so he couldn't correct behaviors except avoid contact altogether. when he tried to ask them to explain they'd blow up at him. They also complained that he misgendered them, and he admitted that he had misused pronouns once or twice when they first met, but he said he apologized and corrected himself.

He told us about a childhood friend who came out to him a couple of years ago. He said "yeah, she told me her name is [name] now. She's happier than she ever was when we were kids, and we're still close." He never once dead named her or used the wrong pronouns when talking about her, so I'm inclined to think that it was a genuine mistake when first meeting new ppl. He said his mental health really suffered during that time, not being able to have any social connection at work and feeling like literally anything he did could be used to file a formal complaint, but he really needed the job so he endured it. No crew after that ever made a formal complaint about him.

Meanwhile, our crew of 5 with at least 2 queer ppl on it and 3 POC had a great time with him. The worst thing he ever said was that he thought that no one really cared about representation when he was a kid, but he sincerely listened when I told him about being Mulan for Halloween over 2 years in a row because she was the only kid friendly East Asian character I knew of at the time and that was a big deal for me.

Ppl aren't worse or evil for traits they didn't choose, and a lot of ppl just need a civil conversation to understand others' perspectives that they weren't previously exposed to or aware of. It's not your responsibility to spend the energy to have those conversations but not spreading hateful rhetoric about ppl because of traits they cannot change costs nothing

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[tealvenetianmask]

I want to talk about a kind of troubling reaction I've been seeing to both Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers among parts of the fandom. The person is usually a reaction youtuber but sometimes someone writing on tumblr or twitter. They say something along the lines of "oh, I'm glad Blitz is being forced to confront his crimes/traumas/pain. This is the only way he will finally heal."

That's not how healing works.

I know that reaction youtubers don't always have the most developed takes because they're . . . you know . . . reacting in the moment. But I think it's still worth talking about.

I'm going set aside the people who seem to believe that Blitz needs to be punished for his crimes, and address those who genuinely think that getting a tidal wave of his own trauma in his face is what he needs to heal.

There's an attitude in contemporary culture that traumas are something people need to confront. As in, put on a brave face and dive in like a big boy. I blame capitalism, rugged individualism, and all the pieces of media that tie up a character's arc neatly by having them confront their darkest fears and insecurities. It can put a nice bow on things, but it isn't really how healing from trauma works.

Apology Tour:

Blitz gets confronted by a shit ton of people who hate him, at least some of whom are his exes, who he feels he's personally damaged. The decor and party games are all about killing and torturing him. Verosika confronts him about how much he hurt her. Oh, and then he sees the love of his life, who he's just recently pushed away, making out with another guy- proof, in his eyes, that Stolas is happier without him. And this all reflects the underlying fears he already has about who he is as a person (shown to us by Truth Seekers).

So what was the takeaway? Blitz came to the conclusion that he doesn't always want to be like this (good, but like . . . worth this much pain?). He flops on his steering wheel (relatable). He stops trying to reach out to Stolas (uh oh . . . ). He spends A MONTH spiraling in his own misery and making a mess of all aspects of his life until he's dragged out of it by a caring friend.

The party doesn't empower Blitz to change. It knocks him down and fucking traumatizes him (seriously, images of Stolas from the party show up later in his trauma reel) too much for him to be able to do actually work toward said change. I suspect that if left to his own devices, he would have kept spiraling for quite a while longer. It's one thing to want to change, and another to try to do so alone in the aftermath of a pile-on.

Ghostfuckers

After Blitz drags himself out of his hole of cheesy ice cream and despair to "play sex ghosts" (escapism, again, still knocked down by Apology Tour), infester demon Rolando picks him out as an easy target and assaults him, yes, assaults, with horrific images of his worst traumas and fears.

Not to state the obvious, but Rolando isn't interested in helping Blitz heal. He's trying to kill the guy. He wants to engulf Blitz in his trauma to the extent where he's consumed by it and loses the will to fight back. And as some excellent posts by others have pointed out already, he very likely would have succumbed if not for Millie's support.

Millie helps Blitz get through the onslaught by telling him about what makes him great and how he's improved her life and showing him love and care. And by literally beating the fucking infester out of him. Because there's someone in him who's hurting him, who's re-traumatizing him against his will. She takes him away from the reel of horrible memories.

So . . . do I think that confronting traumas can play a role in healing? Sure. But only if it's consensually (which neither of these situations are) and when the person trying to heal is ready. And most likely in small doses. No one's going and successfully confronting every horrible thing that's ever happened to them in one go.

And in my humble opinion, it's not going to work (for anyone, but especially not for Blitz) alone and without a healthy dose of kindness and compassion (both external and internal).

Blitz has a long road ahead of him toward healing, and it's going to be hard work on his part but also require love and support from the people in his life.

In a wonderful moment near the end of Ghosfuckers, Blitz and Millie work together to get Blitz's wrecked van unstuck and push it back through the portal into Hell. I love it because it's so simple and it kind of tells us everything we need to know. This sweet and salty gremlin has a lot of work ahead of him, but he doesn't have to do it alone.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

not me doomposting about l*ona again

I pointed out in an older post that Leona seems to demonstrate a unique ability to unite others under a common cause. This is in spite of the lore stating that it's very difficult to get different kinds of beastmen to see eye-to-eye, so much so that Sunset Savanna's acting king, his older brother, has yet to really unify their people.

WELL.

***Spoilers for Leona's Nightmare Suit vignettes below the cut!***

A central theme to Leona's Nightmare Suit vignettes is figuring out what makes someone worthy of being "king". At the start, everyone is reminded of Jack Skellington's status as the "King of Halloween, which makes him the most important person in town. However, Leona's quick to point out that the title isn't what's important, but what one achieves is. He then expresses interest in what it is exactly that Jack Skellington does around here to earn his crown. Jack describes his duties as making Halloween the scariest it can possibly be. He drives around in his buggy, walks his dog Zero through the local cemetery, studies and conducts experiments, and reviews the proposals from Halloween Town residents. An important part of his job is considering his people's ideas! But Leona thinks there could be a more efficient way to do this rather than having the king read the proposals one by one. We can see a divide between their ways of thinking; Jack is willing to hear individuals out whereas Leona is focused on efficiency. This is also reflected in how they assign tasks later in the vignettes. Jack has everyone going up one ladder to decorate, while Leona commands the witches to do this task, as its much faster for them to do on their brooms. I don't know if this was intentional, but the way Jack rules feels reminiscent to how Leona often describes his older brother, Farena/Falena. So often does Leona mention that Falena is too kind and cares too much for others, which impedes on the political and economic gains he could be making if he were just more focused on his goals. “[Falena] could just focus on the kingdom’s affairs–you know, his JOB–but nooo, he’s gotta be the caring big brother who’s nice to everybody." (If you want to read a more in-depth analysis of Falena vs Leona's priorities when it comes to ruling, please read this post.)

Leona claims that the qualifications for king around here are actually really simple--and yeah, maybe there's nothing more to his line than this, but considering that in his home country one's order of birth is also a strong determinant, a merit-based system like what's seen in Halloween Town probably is simpler to him. And that means it's his time to shine and be acknowledged when he wasn't successful at earning this recognition back home.

Now, what REALLY surprised me in these vignettes wasn't that Leona knows how to boss around his peers and put their strengths to use (for example, he tells Vil, who has an eye for detail, to look over the embroidery, and Idia, who is a science and math whiz, to handle difficult calculations). It's that Leona is also perfectly aware of the abilities of the Halloween Town residents--people he has only known for less than three days--and uses them and their skills well too. That's an insanely short amount of time to get to know an entire TOWN'S worth of people and what each of them are like... yet he just pulls it off effortlessly????? HUH... This earns him the praise of Dr. Finkelstein, the mayor, Jack, Sally, and Skully. Sally in particular highlights Leona's strengths very concisely, stating that he can accurately assess the situation and give appropriate directions on how to act in that situation. Skully adds that Leona technically doesn't move himself or do any of the dirty work, he's focused solely on giving orders. This makes him a "king" and a leader of equal standing as Jack Skellington. And then Skully--SKULLY, THE OBSESSED HALLOWEEN OTAKU THAT THINKS HALLOWEEN SHOULD BE A VERY SPECIFIC WAY--says that Halloween was made possible by not one, but two great kings this year. It just goes to show how much one can truly accomplish when not barred by a negative environment and a lack of social support.

One definition of "king" that is offered in these vignettes is "the one who can bring everyone together". That's certainly something that both Leona and Jack do, albeit in very different ways. But then, at the end of the Halloween Town segment of the vignettes, Leona acknowledges that "king" can be defined another way. He realizes that Jack is recognized as king not just because he's a leader, but because he's also needed and loved by the townspeople. This, too, is a "king". However, it seems that this is a definition that Leona somewhat looks down upon, as he basically apologizes to Jack for not thinking highly of him at first. Again, Leona prioritizes getting shit done, no matter what the cost of it may be--and even if it earns him the ire of others. This, as I said earlier, puts him in stark contrast to Jack, as well as his own older brother. But here and now, we have Leona finally seeing the strength that a different kind of ruling can have instead of always speaking so disparagingly about it. Even if it's just a little... it feels like he's growing and learning, doesn't it?

The vignettes end on flashing forward to Leona back at Savanaclaw dorm. A few of his freshmen students are goofing off right before magift/spelldrive practice is about to start. As soon as Leona shows up, the freshmen snap to attention and rush off to change for practice. Jack (Howl, not Skellington, lol) remarks that usually the other first years are so lazy, but their attitudes completely changed when their dorm leader appeared. Ruggie chimes in, saying that Leona keeps the entire dorm in line... THJBAEBVUFAEIYAFIOYBVADFILH ThEN HE CALLS THEIR KING THE BEST... AND JACK AGTREESS... WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHUT THE FUCK UPAS ALREADY STOP POGINTONG OUT HE'S A AGOODFK leADER DFOR YOUE AEPEOPLE YADFJKHAFLIYVDGVYUADGVUEGAVN

In response to the praise, Leona says that simply scolding misbehaving students doesn't make you a king. If it were as simple as that, it would be a pretty cheap throne build only on flattery. The vignettes end with him telling everyone to move their asses to practice. lh WDBHFAIYOEAIYEIYF BUT TAHAT'S PRETY YMASSIVE FOR HS CHARACTER... These vignettes demonstrate that Leona's not fixated on the title of king, but what it means to truly "be" a king and leader. He doesn't value being called a "king" if he feels it's easily earned, he wants to prove himself worthy of it and earn that title through his talents. This all circles back to a thought I had a while ago: that what Leona is after isn't the literal seat of king, but all the things that come with it but was denied of in his childhood. Respect, admiration, recognition for his abilities.

And 💦 Leona doesn’t realize it yet (either that, or he’s in complete denial) but… He also fits that second definition of “king” 😭 He’s the type of person that gets things done (like what he believes should define a king) BUT GIS DORM MEMBERS ALL ALSO NEED AND LOVE HIM…

OOoogohoggoOGH... OTL I hate how well it comes together...

[chrissturnsfav]

𝓇𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓇!𝒸𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈 𝓍 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

headcannons of what rapper!chris is like as singer!reader’s boyfriend.

ᰔᩚ mentions of sex, drugs, and alcohol, rapper!chris x singer!reader

rapper!chris who is known in the industry for his natural flow, the amount of money he makes, having the best drugs, and his style. many big rappers in the industry are eager to work with him because of how good his verses are.

rapper!chris who's stage name is 'chri$.'

rapper!chris who is very possessive. he sees someone simply just checking you out? they'll be taken care of with his fists.

rapper!chris who lets you know who is in control when you catch an attitude. he's quick to remind you who you belong to—"whoa, y'talkin' t'me like that? yeah, nah...watch your mouth ma, remember who takes care of you."

rapper!chris who has a slightly douchy demeanor on the outside, but deep down is a nice and silly person who has a soft spot for you and his family.

rapper!chris who definitely has a goofy side in contrast with his slightly mean personality. he's very loving, always making time to wave at fans or sign autographs when he's out. he wants to make sure his fans feel appreciated by him.

rapper!chris who would never allow you to try any of the drugs he does. if you were to ever ask him if you could try while he's snorting lines at a club next to you, he'd be like: "what? nah...you must be trippin.' ain't happenin'. ever, 'n you know that."

rapper!chris who focuses mainly on music, his brand, and his youtube channel with his brothers.

rapper!chris who's always talking about you in his songs. they range from lewd verses to even some soft ones where he talks about your laugh, your pretty face, etc.

rapper!chris who is rough when it comes to sex. his favorite position is doggy—of course, he loves watching your ass bounce back onto his cock. he loves to praise you and throw in a few degrading phrases if you've been bratty. "atta girl, yeah, jus' like that," "this what y'needed? needed t'be fucked like a slut t'get your attitude in check, huh?" "good girl, look at you, pretty lil' fucked out face all f'me."

rapper!chris who is always touching you, whether it be his hand on your thigh in the car, idly playing with your hair, holding your hand—anything he does with you, his hands always find their way to you somehow. his love language is definitely physical touch.

rapper!chris who always watches your alcohol intake when you guys go out. he makes sure no guys are in your proximity while also making sure you don't get sloppy—he wants you to save that for only him to see later in the night.

rapper!chris who listens to your music the second you let him listen and he always gives his brutally honest input without being too harsh. "s'good, ma. could throw a few more verses in there instead of repeatin' y'self." "so pretty, love hearin' you sing, sound like a fuckin' angel." "damn, was that one 'bout me?"

rapper!chris who makes sure you're always the first to listen to a new song he records and immediately wants your input on it. if you tell him you don't like a verse, he'll change it asap only for you.

rapper!chris who loves the contrast between you two. your girly demeanor and soft spoken music contrasting with his hard, fiery rap music just turns him on.

rapper!chris who always makes sure you have what you need. he'll give you stacks of money randomly, buy you extravagant gifts for no reason etc. he'll also absolutely never let you pay for a single thing, and when you profusely thank him with a giant sweet smile, he'll say, "yeah, yeah, only do it cause i love seein' my girl's pretty smile. y'like it, ma? yeah, knew ya would."

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: just some headcannons to give everyone a glimpse of rapper!chris

thank you for reading!! <3

@chrissturnsfav ™

[mrfancyfoot]

Today I logged into facebook for the first time in nearly 4 years and went through every profile in my friends list (like ~300) and purged out all the assholes (anyone who openly voted for Trump, other conservatives, and those who I strongly believe did). I've done this before so there weren't many but there are a number that have been wishy-washy with being outward in their bigotry and it helps me keep a mental list of people that deserve only the most very basic level of respect that I can muster because they certainly do not respect me nor people I care about nor many of their fellow human beings. Most disheartening is seeing friends and family who continue to put effort into engaging with people who argue in bad faith and weaponized ignorance.

I dated a man for nearly a year who went to women's and pro-choice rallies and liberal groups with me and said many times that he "was on my side" but turned out to be lying the whole time because he knew I definitely wouldn't date him otherwise. I'd known him for years before since we ran in the same friend circle. I wasn't the only one he had fooled. He slowly lifted the mask until we were constantly arguing because of his bigoted and racist remarks. His favorite thing to do was act oppressed and show me the most obvious Russian propaganda that he would get upset at me for fact-checking and asking for real sources. He wanted to argue, so what he hated most was when I refused to argue with him. Nothing I said was going to change his mind, so I wasn't going to humor or tolerate it (we didn't last long after that point, but by that time, I was afraid of leaving without an excuse that would be "good enough" for him). He legitimately wants civil war so that he can play survival hero and feel validated in his hatred. It didn't come on quickly and a lot of the comments started as "odd" off the cuff things through the time that we dated. He was very much pretending to be a kind person and once really called out, that pretense dropped. He thought I was more like him and that a lot of my regard and kindness for others is "fake." Because that's what a lot of people like that do - they fake being kind for optics, they are not actually kind people, and therefore presume that everyone else is doing the same thing. It's given me major trust issues.

Can't say this enough: these people feel validation in their bigotry when you continue to associate with them. They need to be dropped. They need to learn that their shitty beliefs mean that they get shunned. Make them feel uncomfortable. Quit tiptoeing around and coddling their delicate little feelings because they might get upset. It's okay for them to get upset because someone was mean and told them they don't like them because they think gay and trans people shouldn't exist. I once made a post about how a raped 11 year old child should never be expected to give birth, was told that it was "god's will" and like 5 people piled on the guy so badly he told us to stop being "mean" to him and was terrified to talk to me at work ever again (I have since cut all ties and no longer work with him). I'm personally extremely tired of playing nice for the sake of possibly "converting" someone - especially because you can be polite in telling someone to fuck off with their beliefs. Their beliefs are dangerous, are going to result in people losing their lives, and a frightening number of them are completely okay with that. We need to stop being tolerant of intolerance. It is okay to cut people (including family) from your life when all their presence does is bring you stress and harm.

In a similar vain, don't let the people who chose not to vote (or "protest voted") stick their heads in the sand to escape blame. They are just as culpable as anyone else who directly voted for Trump and other conservatives. They need to grow the fuck up.

For a lot of liberals, it's really uncomfortable to be confrontational and feel like you're being intolerant of someone, but it's way past time to play hardball and call them out instead of coddling them, especially as we're going into the holiday season where many of us will be seeing family with shitty views and targeted family that may need someone to stand up for them. Let them know they're shitty and inappropriate and a disappointment and unworthy of your regard because they certainly lack it for others. Obviously still be safe, but many of us very likely aren't losing anything of value in that scenario. Not having bigoted family members in my life in any way has made me so much happier.

A helpful tip to those who may find themselves in a confrontation: do not stay engaged. Let your views be known and then disengage. Because many of them love to argue and feel like they're defending themselves (many are addicted to those feelings of hatred and overcoming "oppression"), what they don't like is being ignored and feeling like you're rinsing your hands of them. They don't deserve your stress and constant efforts. There are ways to open a dialogue when they are willing to discuss civilly with an open mind, but if they bring intolerance, just shut it down.

(via jhig8bd0cczd1.png (PNG Image, 744 × 810 pixels))

[wlfchnlv3r]

Intro

Bimbo!Fem reader x Stray kids!boyfriend

Y/n

- You are literally just a girl🎀

- You probably are the weird artist of the college, the one who always wear tiny pink skirts and bows in the hair.

- Everyone see you just as a cute face with big tits and a nice body. Everyone expect your boyfriend.

- You are just a little bit dumb and naive (ok, maybe more than a bit) but your boyfriend loves you just the way you are.

Bangchan

- Bangchan is your boyfriend since middle school and he always thanks your parents for “giving him the most gorgeous doll in the world” or something like this.

- He knows every inch of your body, I’m dead serious; you have a little scar on your inner tight? He knows it, and loves it.

- Chan is such a perv and does nothing to hide it, he would be searching for you all over the college just to squeeze your ass before an exam, because he says it is his lucky charm.

- If you don’t find him, well, he is probably at the gym with his best friend, Changbin.

- He is…big, just big, and has some kind of size kink, he would love to stretch you out just for him.

Changbin

- You and Changbin met at college, during a party, you were trying to find someone to drive you home and your friend introduced him to you.

- He loves your Sanrio obsession and he would let you cover all of him of hello kitty stickers, and when i say “all of him” i mean ALL of him :).

- Changbin always fucks you dumb in the morning, giving you the best belly bulge of your life, for real.

- You are so freaking small compared to him, but you like the size difference.

- He is a gym rat, he also exercises at home, using you as (what he calls) a light weight. (every exercise session would probably finish with you being fucked till).

Seungmin

- Seungmin is just a puppy, you guys met in the college bathroom, after some girls made you cry calling you dumb, he comforted you and gave you a warm hug.

- He worship your ass, is slightly obsessed with it, and loves when you wear those tiny skirts that would make easy for him to touch you everywhere.

- Everyone doubt about your relationship because he seems like a mean bad guy… the truth? He’s the most lovesick persone you ever met.

- Seungmin would pass hours with you scrolling through puppy’s accounts on instagram.

Hyunjin

- You and Hyunjin were in the same art class on high school, and he was in mental competition with you, just because of your artistic skills (you will never know that).

- He is also a photographer, and loves to take pictures of you naked or also video tape of you two fucking. Those clips reveal a more kinky side of him.

- For Hyunjin after care is NOT an option, after fucking you dumb he would clean you up and change the sheets, to make sure you can lay and rest in a comfortable bed.

- He loves spoiling you with gifts, he knows you so well so it’s easy for him to choice the present (Ps: it would be Sanrio related).

Felix

- Felix was your tutor a few years ago, then he starts to have feelings for you, until a “innocent date” where you two shared an ice cream and when I say shared ice cream… I mean that he ended up licking it from your tits.

- He is able to put you in place if he wants, just…it doesn’t happen often.

- You love to tease Felix when he is busy, knowing that he would probably let you suck his cock or something like that.

- Felix is slightly obsessed with you, I mean- he introduced you, as his girlfriend, to his parents, month before you actually start to reciprocate his feelings.

Lee know

- Lee know was well known for being heartless, that was until you showed up during the first year of college. He literally tried to not be drawn to you but he drastically failed when your strange and innocent personality kicked in. He felt the need to protect you.

- He loves you, with all his heart but he knows you are a little slow when you have to understand something, and because of that he he makes fun of you (in the nicest way possible).

- You two argue a lot because of his jealousy, and every time you finish on your knees sucking his dick like a good girl, while he grabs your hair and pull you closer.

- he loves also his privacy when it comes to his relationship with you, Lee know would probably treats you coldly in public just to nuzzle his face in your neck when nobody see him.

Han

- You and Han are childhood friends, you two grow up together and he is the only one who really knows how to put you in place when you act like a spoiled brat.

- He loves to call you with pet names, especially during sex, and he expects you to be an obedient little pet and let him do whatever he wants with your holes.

- Han is the one who took your virginity and he is so proud of it, he knows is the only one who can fuck you and make your legs shake from the pleasure.

- The word jealousy is not in his vocabulary, he is so confident and knows he is the one for you.

Jeongin

- Jeongin is a few years younger than you, but he knows how to behave. He definitely does. He is famous with older girl, but he only has eyes for you, he always says it was love at first sight

- he loves to claim you everywhere and everytime he wants as in the college bathroom or during a friends reunion.

- He kinda introduced you to the use of sex toys, but he has some rules: 1) he is the only one who can use them on you, 2) you are not allowed to bring yourself pleasure using them and in general you can’t masturbate, if not in front of him.

- He is the only one who can make you reach another level of pleasure, making you cry and beg for more like a little spoiled girl.

Taglist: @felixleftchickennugget @kiwininja35 @sweetpickledjins @slmnheart @elqivxstxr @catffeinexo-xx @multistancheck @justwonder113 @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @hello-stranger24 @raptorbait529 @cocofia143 @minniesverse

(Comment to be added to the tag list🎐)

[reactionimagesdaily]

Reaction images aside, how are you holding up?

Aww, thanks for asking. :P

To be honest, I'm probably doing better than most. I'm a healthy cishet white man who lives in the UK, so I don't have nearly as much to worry about as I know a lot of people do. (Also hey, I'm enjoying the new Dragon Age game, so that's been nice.) But I also know what kind of ramifications this election is bound to have, both inside the US and beyond.

(I mean, the world's biggest democracy is getting overtly more hostile and authoriarian in real time (y'know. again), and I know on this side of the pond we've got some real brain donors who'd love to see something similar happen here. I'm worried about what Trump could do once he's back in charge, and I'm worried about what might happen to my own country, with it's 'special relationship' to the US, as a result. And I'm not alone in that.

All this on a fuckin' Wednesday...)

Anyway, I had a longer thing written out here about the concept of orthopraxis (just while I was trying to get my thoughts in order, lmao) but the core of what I want to say is this:

I think we're about to see an uptick in people being shitty

I'm going to counter that by doing un-shitty things

What do I mean by un-shitty things? Well, I've been meaning to participate in Amnesty International's 'Write For Rights' campaign for months - I just fired off my first email today. I've already donated to causes supporting Gaza in the past, but now I'm also planning to write to my local MP about how annoyed I am that my country is still culpable in genocide. Make my voice heard, you know? I also want to keep making art that people enjoy, because I think that's important. And I'm going to buy another commission from an artist I like, because they could probably use something good in their life right now. And... to be honest, I'm not sure what else I'll do yet. When I figure it out, though, I'll try and actually do it.

Maybe for you, un-shitty things mean something smaller scale. Hugging your loved ones for longer, or giving that loose change you always carry around to the next homeless person you see. That's good too. Maybe it's something larger in scale, and that's awesome! But to anyone who's reading this, I'd definitely recommend doing something that not only feels good, but is also TANGIBLE. Not only does doing feel good, but it means that you're improving someone else's life, in however small a way. Which, y'know. Net positive, innit.

(Yes, I'm aware this is basically the 'when you see someone being so mean it inspires you to be kinder meme', lmao. No, I don't really care.)

You asked me how I'm holding up? Well, the first thing I'd like to do is respond to your question in kind: how are you holding up? In a general sense? In specific ways? Hopes, anxieties, plans?

And the next thing I'm going to do is tell you that I'm more than holding up.

I'm locking in.

[tarotphil]

titronto recap!! spoilers below the cut !!

before I get into I just want send the biggest good vibes to all of the Americans out there, and also everyone else feeling really discouraged about the election. ily, take care of yourselves <3

- we all did the hot to go dance together during the pre show playlist

- everyone dressed so to theme it was so crazy seeing the streets of toronto filled up with phannies it was lovely

- dan started the show by saying he was glad they were in Canada instead of America that night :,))

- phil said he was gonna be extra annoying bc he had 3 birthday cake flavoured timbits before the show

- someone threw a trans flag down from a balcony at one point it was so good

- phil accidentally slipped up and called us “phersons” at one point and they both laughed about it. we are phersons thank you 🫶

- our random talking point was “moose” but the boys weren’t sure if we actually said “goose” so the topic was “meese”

- lawyer dan wrote erotica about tim bits. at some point whoever was typing backstage changed that answer to “phim phits”

- when giving the traits of real Phil, the audience was obviously made up of Phillies and we were just clapping for him until the card that said “loves capitalism” and then it went a little silent and people started doing this 👎👎 and dan was like. “we got him boys. we got him”

- we ended up killing real dan and linguist phil

- dan verbally called out someone videoing or taking photos with their phone fhsj

- idk if he does this every show but dan said “I’m just a girl’ at one point and me and my friend went crazy

- while they were boxing and doing their trash talk and dan was like “scared?” And phil said “just scared of my life without you after I kill you” Iris and I were both like. 🫢🫢 so what do you mean by that

- stage manager cleaning up the boxing while they monologue. hey 🫶🫶 you are my hero 🫶🫶

general thoughts!!! phil is so beautiful. He is so so beautiful. every time he looked up at us me and Iris felt a little faint. dan and is also gorgeous oh my god. he’s also so kinetic and he moves around doing weird poses the whole time

their chemistry is so good!! like the comedic timing and the way they play off each other. all of it sounded very natural, I couldn’t really tell what was improv or scripted for a lot of the show

when sister daniel came out iris and i lost capability to speak. like wdym. she is so beautiful in person

@aterribleinfluence + Hayley @sisterdaniels @kettle-on it was so so nice meeting you!! and it was great handing bracelets out to people that was so cute. mwah mwah mwah

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

“Riptide is so plain and/or boring!”

You know what? I genuinely don’t give a f***.

He’s a caring and nice character, that I like and even enjoy, and I think it’s quite neat that Tsunami had someone else she could rely on when she was having troubles within the SeaWing palace while living with freaking Queen Coral and - three moons - Whirlpool.

Plus, Riptide is NOT as plain as some people view him - or at least, he has the potential to be (seen as) a interesting character, but unfortunately wasn’t as explored and/or developed upon unlike some other characters within the series.

Riptide had a rather bad and traumatic past. Webs left him when he was 2 years old - about the current age of Anemone and MINK - in order to take Tsunami’s egg to the the Talons of Peace so he can raise her to be within the prophecy. His mother was indirectly KILLED by Coral by her purposefully putting his mom in the front lines of the war, due to her helping Webs take Tsunami’s egg. 

Due to this, Riptide probably became a literal ORPHAN as a very young dragonet, while living under a violent Queen who HATES his guts.

And due to Webs taking Tsunami’s egg, Coral unrightfully viewed Riptide to be an awful dragon, due to him being related to Webs. Because of this, Riptide is hated and discriminated by Queen Coral and her relatives, and he has a bad and low reputation within his Kingdom based off of crimes he DIDN’T EVEN COMMIT. With this reputation being something that he lived with through the MAJORITY of his life. Which includes him being given the lowest ranking job and duty within the SeaWing kingdom.

Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised that the reason why Riptide seems so ‘plain’ and/or ‘boring’ because he literally HAD to act that way around others - with him placing that part within himself and ingrained it within his personality and/or behavior - in order to NOT stand out and grab the attention of others who actively hate him, and would harm & even KILL him. Especially from how much he’s canonically hated by Coral.

Because if Riptide was noticed to be against Coral’s actions or beliefs, and/or was seen doing something that (majorly) upsets Coral, there’s a good chance - heck, a HIGH chance - that Coral would instantly brutally harm and/or kill him on the spot.

Riptide is one of the characters within the series that, despite the awful treatment and trauma he experienced throughout his life, is STILL a kind, caring, and/or empathetic dragon, who does his best to helps others that he cares about - including Tsunami.

He’s a dragon who cares about his tribe to the point he fought the SkyWings for them instead of fleeing away from the Summer Palace with Webs and Tsunami (and Tsunami’s friends), despite the awful treatment Riptide experienced for the majority of his life under his tribe’s royalty.

Who’s also a dragon who still wanted to form a connection with his father, who left him and hasn’t seen Riptide for a long time. One who is the only potential dragon who would love and/or care for Riptide for who he is.

A father that Riptide then learned later with TLH that Webs was a enabler of the abuse that Tsunami and her friends experienced from Kestrels and Dune, due to Webs not stopping them from being harmed until Queen Scarlet tried to imprison them in her arena.

Plus, when knowing about Riptide’s trauma and how much he experienced prejudice from others, his relationship and interactions with Tsunami honestly are more interesting than they seem to be.

How Riptide INSTANTLY rushed towards Tsunami in order to embrace her after she unintentionally flirted with him.

How Tsunami is probably the first dragon he’s known in a long while who respects, appreciates, and even enjoys his presence and existence.

That Riptide followed and watched over Tsunami while she was at the SeaWing Kingdom, probably due to him being worried about her being with Coral.

That Riptide selflessly helped and hanged out with Tsunami despite Coral potentially punishing and/or harming him for doing so.

How Riptide hid the fact that he was related to Webs, and that he’s a member of the Talons of Peace, probably in fear that Tsunami - the only dragon he has a positive bond with in TLH - would be angry at him, & dislike and/or hate him, possibly similarly how other dragons (including her relatives) hate him.

But despite this, he cared about being honest with Tsunami that he had the mental maturity and/or mental strength to tell Tsunami that he joined the Talons of Peace in order to know more about his father.

So yeah - Riptide is quite a nice character, who’s even pretty interesting, or at least is when you really think about him.

But he unfortunately isn’t viewed that way and/or isn’t even appreciated by multiple parts of the WoF fandom, due to him not having an prominent and/or strong personality compared to other love interests within the series.

.

[twilightkitkat]

Thoughts on Origins Victor? My theory is that he accepted his inner animal because when his mutation emerged it gave him an opportunity not to be a victim anymore. (The movie doesn't state this but i think we all know from sub context that Thomas beat him regularly) And he was so brutal and arrogant because being the man meant having to come to terms with the abuse he suffered and so he lost himself in his animalistic side. He wanted Logan being like him too because for him it meant strength and not being vulnerable. But all in all he cared about Logan deeply. He loved him. When he encouraged him to kill him later on he didn't wanna die. And he knew Logan wouldn't have done it. But during that moment he could feel Logan's animal side breaking to the surface stronger than ever before and wanted to encourage his little brother to fully submit to it. So that he would become strong. Because Logan's empathy and morals were weakness in his eyes. A weakness that Logan needed to be freed from in order to overcome his emotial pain.

So what you think?

I think that Victor's childhood trauma definitely played a vital part in shaping who he became. He was used to being seen as less than, to getting beaten, to being constantly reminded that he was beneath everyone. This manifested into an obsession with hierarchy and being the "apex predator" to overcompensate for how he felt as a kid, weak and beneath the feet of those above him. He lived life by the status quo, and so if he wanted to survive he needed to claw his way to the top of it the only way he knew how: violence.

His need for the control he never had in his childhood manifests into a perverted form of sadism. He likes being in power and playing "god" over whether people live or die. He likes seeing how terrified people are of him, because it means he has the power. It comforts him to know how far he's come and that he isn't the same weak little kid he used to be. It's nice to be respected, even if that respect is built on fear and only kept through violence.

Victor is also characterized by a remarkable lack of empathy, which leads me to believe he either was born with or developed ASPD. His lack of empathy isn't what drives him to kill, that's for the reasons stated above, but it makes it easier for him to detach himself from it all. In the Origins movie, he never seems to view his victims as "humans." He views them as means to an end so that he can get to Logan or as victims or tools to display his dominance to those around him. He doesn't feel remorse for his actions because he has difficulties understanding "normal" emotions and he isn't thinking of people as dynamic individuals with lives and hopes and dreams.

This especially affects his relationship with Logan. Logan also struggles with empathy in some cases, but not to the same degree as Victor. Logan sees people as they are—people. He is capable of detaching himself from them to some extent, which is why he was able to stay with Victor throughout the wars and continue fighting, but not entirely. When they start killing civilians outright, not just nameless soldiers who signed up for battle, Logan can't take it anymore. He snaps.

And Victor doesn't understand this. His lack of empathy isn't just for the people he kills, but for Logan, too. It isn't that Victor doesn't care about Logan, but he can't understand him. What does he mean, he feels bad? Doesn't Logan get that those people don't matter, that they're just tools to let them climb up the ranks?

It's why he feels so betrayed when Logan walks away. To him, Logan left him over a squabble about toys. He thinks that leaving because he kills people is a petty reason, and that Logan would leave him over just that. After all they've been through. All Victor's done for him.

Logan, to Victor, is someone he's entitled to. He's the only person who's immortal like him, who has been by his side since the start. Their relationship is unhealthy and a little coercive but Victor cares about Logan in a way he doesn't for anyone else. He loves him. Getting "betrayed" by Logan was what caused Victor to finally crack and go fully to the dark side, even if he was heading there anyway.

Victor thinks that Logan's morality and humanity are weaknesses. Victor gave into his animalistic side because it gave him more power and it made people fear him. It made him a sharp and unpredictable tool, a wild animal with a loose leash at the top of the food chain. Exactly where he wanted to be.

But Victor doesn't understand that Logan doesn't want that. Giving in completely to becoming an animal means denying yourself the ability to be human. To have human luxuries and emotions and comforts. It's denying the other half of himself. And Victor is fine with that, because he views that half as weak and useless, but Logan isn't.

In the end, Logan's soft side is just as much of a strength as it is a weakness. It lets him be both a human and an animal. It lets him form genuine connections and emotional bonds. It gives him strength and a network of support and a greater purpose. Something to fight for.

Victor only sees this when it's too late. He goads Logan into almost killing him because he wants to prove, once and for all, that his ideals are correct. That Logan was an apex predator like him, that he was just as much of animal, that they were one and the same and there was no denying his roots. He wanted to prove that Logan was like him because he wanted to walk the same path as him. (To have someone who understood him. The only "human" luxury he'd allow.)

But Logan turns him down. He sneers at his way of living and leaves. He rejects him once and for all.

And when Victor reunites with him much, much, later, he sees why. Because had Victor ever been as happy as Logan looked right now? Had he ever allowed himself to be content, to not obsess over his standing or power? Had he ever just let himself be human because at least then he could be happy?

Logan looks at Wade like he's his reason for living, his life partner, the thing he's been looking for his entire life. He looks at Wade like he's his home.

When was the last time Victor felt like he had that?

[tsamsheadcanons]

Headcanon -

Sun is transfemme, and nearly nobody knows. By and large, pronouns are a roulette wheel of "does this bother me Yes/No/Unknown". If given her own space and freedom to present however they want to without any consequences or follow up, she'd present almost exclusively somewhere between androgynous to femme. Gender is a performance, and she was initially made for the stage /j

Moon had a... mild suspicion in the beginning, but couldn't place it. At first, he didn't care to. Then, he was busy with more important things. Then after that, everything went to hell in a handbasket, so it never came up.

Ironically, Eclipse does know. As much as he refuses to admit it, his sentience was essentially incubated by Sun's code, and he's spent copious time in close, attentive proximity. He also knows that Sun isn't ready to come out yet, and while he's a bit of a jerk, he's not gonna cross that line. He does, however, use "Sunny" more often than not, bc it's a nickname that always made her a little more excited and happy. He'll never admit to it.

Earth and Lunar never really questioned anything about Sunny beyond "Oh, that's a bot with anxiety". Earth specifically also has a habit of calling things cute and sweet, and very quickly picked up how Sun absolutely glowed with the phrasing, so she uses it regularly. Lunar, meanwhile, doesn't clock "Sun is sis, not cis", and personally is mildly offended bc they had more faith in his gaydar/transdar than that. How shameful (/hj)

Solar had no warning or clue but also may arguably be the most chill. Sun is Sun, and Solar care about that obsessive compulsive mess.

Monty.... wondered, sometimes, but never brought it up. Never seemed the right time, ya know?

Once Sun DOES come out, everyone is supportive and it's lowkey hilarious bc Sun is just HEAPED with praise, and Lunar and Moon devolve into "how did we not KNOW" which... not the time or place, guys, but whatever.

Jack and Dazzle just kinda blink. "Uncle is not uncle. Uncle is aunt. Auntie Sun ooooh~" and "Sunny is still Sunny. I haves a girl bestest friend and a boy bestest friend now."

There are, ofc, slip ups, but it's a quick adjustment all in all. The first time someone calls Sunny sister has her biting back giggles while her rays spin.

When Dazzle calls her Mama, though, she explodes /pos (/bittersweet)

(Also bonus points - all the "bad guys" and antagonists don't get the memo, so they go to do their evil monologs and someone interrupts when they go "and poor little Sunny, pathetic man-". Upon being corrected, they immediately go "ah, my apologies. Ahem. Poor little Sunny, pathetic girl-")

((Additional bonus points - Moon instinctively goes for the 'femboy' thing just to pause and flounder. "You're such a fucking femb- uhhhhhh f... fem... girl? ... shit-"

"Pft- uh huh? Nice save"

"Ughhhhh-" *hides in his hat*))

I love this headcanon!

[doublejango]

I am already seeing virtue signaling posts from people saying "I don't care what you believe or how you voted..."

That's great. I care. I care a lot. The outcome of this election effects me, but so much more than me. I care. It matters. And if it really doesn't matter to you? Good for you. If you are privileged enough, safe enough, and entitled enough to truly not care about how the election will impact other people... I can't even imagine what that must be like. Nice, I guess?

I spent most of last night and this morning crying.

I'm done with tears now, and have moved on to rage.

And you know what? I promise not to let it burn out. Because smiles and positivity may work for many of us, and I'm not going to lose mine either, I promise not to lose my queer joy--they can rip it from my cold dead hands, not to get too damn dramatic here--but I'm also not in the mood to start forgiving and smiling and welcoming Nazis into the bar.

So. I will hold onto anger. I've been tolerant and accepting long enough in life... and have learned something important about what causes the worst harm.

I have been gay bashed before. Violently. Blood. Broken bones. Lost teeth. And you know what the worst part of the recovery of all of that was, the part that did the most psychological and emotional damage? It wasn't the actual bashing itself. It wasn't even the memory of exactly what it felt like to have something swung full force into my face with extremely violent intent. It was the denial from my "friends" and family afterwards. The people who wanted to deny that it was a hate crime. The people who wanted me to shrug it off and not be upset about it. The people who loved to say oh well it wasn't that bad. You know what helped? Letting myself feel fury. Letting myself name the attack as hate. "It wasn't that bad," though, they said, asif it was their judgment to make--endless hours of dental procedures, pain, wounds that never fully healed, the trauma, the lost work, the new experience of vomiting blood with broken jaws and knocked out teeth. Because it wasn't that bad. And there was so much self-reproach, because I could have avoided it. I wasn't the intended target. He was swinging for a lesbian with me. When the attacker burst out of hiding he was swinging for the side of her head, her temple. I jumped in between them. Didn't think. It was an impulse. Protect the people you care about. So I took it to the face. And I grabbed him. I threw him, and fell doing it. I remember being on my knees in the mud. Seeing my teeth in the mud. Seeing my blood just. Everywhere. And knowing I needed to push back to my feet immediately because it might not be over.

We were lucky. It was over. He hadn't expected anyone to fight back. He ran.

But the people who claimed to love me didn't want to deal with the idea that it was a hate crime. They wanted it to be random and meaningless. That made their world a little safer, I guess. And their denial made my world colder. And my recovery lonelier. Harder. They put me down for "bringing it on myself." As if it would have been more virtuous to let this woman take that attack to her temple, as if I would have been more valid for standing by and watching it happen.

There are so many more stories I can tell you, but the lesson is almost invariably the same: the ugliest hurt is often the one caused by the people who just turn away when you identify what happened to you. The hurts that cut the deepest and last the longest often come from the people we thought we could trust, because they want you to just get over it, don't talk about it, admit it could have been worse, don't call it That.

The betrayal from people who are supposed to have your back? That deepens wounds, deepens trauma.

I won't be that person. I won't tell you to smile and turn the other cheek when someone shows you they hate you. Do whatever you need to do to survive--physically, emotionally, psychologically. Just don't give up, and don't let the cowards force you into feeling shame for not giving up and letting the world break you.

Never be ashamed to refuse to break.

Never let someone shame you for choosing strength. For drawing your line in the sand.

I wanted the "exciting" times of my life to be behind me. But they're not--so be it. I'm not going to tone myself down to be safer. I don't care about my own safety anymore. Any self-preservation drive broke a long time ago when it comes to homophobia. I promise to always be ready to fight. To be a queer menace to "polite" society. I promise to be out and loud and gay, to be a shield however I can for those who can't be out, who can't fight back, who can't even speak up because it wouldn't be safe for them to do so. They are valid, too. And I love them. And I will have their fucking backs. I promise to, in my real off-the-internet life, be someone who will always jump in and speak up if I see queer people being harassed or shamed--especially if they're young. I am older. I will fight for my baby gays. I will love them.

And I will never, never put anyone down for refusing to welcome Nazis into the bar. We don't look the other way and quietly tolerate them. Not here.

I may not be around much for the next few days. I need to handle my own shit. My own fury. My own grief. Because right now, there is so much grief.

But I won't be going anywhere.

I will fight to stay.

Whatever it takes.

I'm not giving up.

If I end up on my knees in the mud again, staring at my own blood and teeth, metaphorically or in fucking reality, so be it. I will get back up. And I will keep getting back up. I won't let go of the anger. The spite. And I definitely won't let go of my love for every queer person, the ones I know and the ones I don't, because that love is what will give me strength to get through this. Whatever comes next.

I may not have much sense of self-preservation. But goddamn, I will fight for you.

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 5

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

Isidro is possibly the father of the year. Maybe I’ll change my mind when it turns out he’s kind of homophobic, but for now that man gives some seriously good advice. I get why Fina is the way she is, oh not the mood thing, but the stability, the self-assurance. When you have someone holding you up like Isidro does, giving advice like he does, about how the best approach is to find the good sides in yourself and commit to those - I mean, yeah, it’s not hard to understand he could raise a daughter like Fina. It’s also such a nice contrast with the next scene which is the de la Reina’s sitting down for a meal and it’s just the absolute opposite. They too talk about work, but there’s no emotion and there’s no support, it’s more like open hunting season and holds none of the open vulnerability and sincerity of Fina and Isidro's conversation.

Aw man, fuck up my heart with that look Marta gives when Damian talks about how nothing makes him happier than having his kids get married and start families. All that effort she puts in and still she can’t truly make her father proud. That shit is got to sit lodged in her heart like a very jagged piece of broken glass. Also, I think this is the first glimpse of a personality hiding behind the mask.

Jesús and Andrés are two stupid boys fighting over what they think of as toys, women. I do not care for them.

Marta is a sarcastic bitch to Elena and I approve. Okay, second glimpse of a personality, nice. Broken and sarcastic, playing my tune.

That thing Spanish people do with their tongue between their teeth as they pronounce certain sounds, is it just me being gay or is it kind of hot? Granted it’s mostly Marta who is hot when she’s doing it, so I might have answered my own question.

Petra, stop fucking touching Fina! It is not your right to be that handsy and I do not care for it. Keep your scruffy looking nerf-herding paws off of her!

Fina established as a clumsy queen from the getgo tickles me. The way she practically smashed that perfume bottle through the counter as she tried to make a good impression on Marta (and failing) gives her the kind of humanity my otherwise perfect lesbian needs to be nuanced. No one likes a perfect being who looks like her, smiles like her, has that self-assuredness of hers, unless there is also some flaw too her. The fact that this is a character who is so perfect in many ways, but at the same time could probably tear down an entire china shop on her own without the assistance of any bulls - it makes her really loveable. And as a woman who have broken her toe by kicking it into a threshold and given herself a black eye by walking into a doorframe, well I feel represented. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are more flaws to Fina than this, but we're not there yet. One step at a time.

The face of a woman who does not understand the power she holds over other women. And I don't just mean that as a crack at her being lesbian catnip, but the character doesn't actually understand the impact she has on the women around her. She's so used to being compared to the men in her life that I think she doesn't see or understand what a role model she has become for a lot of women, especially those working for her.

Fina being so dismissive when Carmen tells them she’s crying because of Tasio is gold. She just has no time for these fools and I love it. Her silent nod when Carmen says “why bother with a man who doesn’t love you back” - perfection. She is the Oprah gif personified. As I regularly channel my inner Xena while I’m in a professional setting, I think from now on I’ll also try to be channelling my inner Fina when it comes to my personal relationships. As blunt, but reassuring as she is, I think we should all strive to me more like her with our friends and family.

[osakhee]

timezone, exchange student!shotaro x japanese major!reader

! angst, taro is an asshole

you fidget nervously with the string of your hoodie and check once again the time on your phone. it's really happening, you're about to meet him. around you, your classmates are happily chatting about what's to come.

today you're meeting shotaro. it's been months since you chose him as the student from japan you would exchange letters with during your classes. your first letter felt awkward, the characters on the paper didn't look the best and you were sure the person on the other side would probably not even reply. osaki shotaro. that's all you knew about him when that letter got carried away from your university to his.

when your teacher shared that the letters from japan arrived to your school, you felt nervous and excited, you wanted to hold the paper with your name written on it and discover more of the student you're exchanging words with. shotaro's letter was a bit hesitant but his handwritting was pretty, round letters drawn on the paper.

shotaro told you about his economics major, and his english classes that were the reason he got to write to you. he told you about his friends, his love for sport and dance, his younger siblings he teases all the time, his favorite restaurant close to the university... it was simple sentences, yet you could tell he was excited to share little details with you.

from letter to letter, you felt like you were getting closer to shotaro. you started sharing your daily worries, some trouble you had with your classes or how much you missed your family. even though it took days for shotaro's reply to arrive, he would always be reassuring. you both got better at each other's language, making the communication much easier.

you started looking forward even more to your japanese language and education classes, just to feel your heart flutter when you see the teacher bring the infamous box full of envelopes. it felt nice that someone completely outside your country, that you had no strings or connection with, cared for you.

when you came home after a long day once, you found a letter silently sitting in front of your door. it took you a second to recognize shotaro's pretty handwriting on the piece of paper, your name beautifully written in black ink. and that's when things started to go down.

in this one letter, shotaro not only told you how much he wanted to talk more with you, he also gave you his number and social medias, and anything that you could contact him with. you felt like your heart was going to explode in millions of fireworks while going through his instagram pictures and seeing his pretty face.

it took you a day or two to gather the courage to message shotaro. he sounded as nice and happy in the texts on your phone as in the letters you got every few weeks, and you felt even warmer when talking to him. through the official communication in your classes, you and shotaro played innocence, as if you were not calling him in the middle of the night when the both of you were available.

months went by, and now you are anxiously waiting for his familiar face at the entrance of your university campus. yours and shotaro's teachers decided to plan an exchange trip, allowing their japanese students to stay and study at your university for a few weeks. it took more time to organize than you thought, but both you and shotaro excitedly talked about it everyday.

you check the last text you got from the japanese student, a picture of him and his classmates in the plane seats, ready for take off. it was hours ago, and the only thing you have in mind is how slow the time is ticking. they should be there any minute, but seconds felt like forever.

when finally you hear loud chatters, only catching a glimpse of japanese words in the conversation, your eyes quickly wandering over the unknown faces. you almost miss shotaro, with his cap hiding his eyes, but it's his smile that you saw so often when facetiming him that you recognize. the japanese teachers introduce themselves and your classmates greet the group with shared excitement.

you watch as your friends call for the names of the person behind the letters, discovering each other at the same time. shotaro takes off his cap and look right at you with the same gentle smirk on his face. you can feel your cheeks burning when you walk up to him, lifting your eyes up to meet his.

"hi."

"...welcome shotaro."

"is it not just 'taro' anymore?"

you look down and you hear shotaro chuckles, his hand patting your shoulder. his voice is much lower than you remember, he's also much taller than you imagined. you are too shy to admire his face, but you caught a glimpse of his newly done piercings on his ears and the metal rings on his fingers.

you walk next to shotaro to your classroom, the large auditorium feeling much more alive now that the japanese students joined. you sit down at one of the shared desk and shotaro drops himself on the chair next to yours. you can feel his eyes on you, tracing the features of your face, but you try your best to ignore it and focus on the teachers.

you don't care much about the exchange students' class planning, all you want to know is when you'll be able to finally talk freely with shotaro for the first time face to face. you feel shotaro shrugs next to you, his shoulder hitting yours when he leans closer to whisper in your ear.

"you're not doing anything after this right? you're free for me?"

your throat is dry when you swallow and just nods to the japanese student next to you that smile at your reaction. the introduction of the exchange couldn't end soon enough. shotaro leans back into the chair and lets out a satisfied sigh. he couldn't wait.

you are free from your university class. you walk in silence next to shotaro, on the way to your student dorm. shotaro kept telling you how tired he was from the travel when you were having lunch together and the dorm for him and his classmates were not open until the evening so he had nowhere to go. being a good friend, you told him to come over, but you're starting to feel nervous about it. what if your room is a complete mess? you can't remember how it looked when you left in the morning.

you finally feel comfortable enough next the tall student to talk with him freely like you usually did on long calls or through texts at any time. shotaro is more serious and calm that you expected, but it's the perks of finally meeting someone in real life, it's not always the same. you open the door of your room and thank yourself for cleaning it. shotaro looks around with a smile, he finally discovers the room he only saw on facetime calls.

"it looks all the same, except it's real now."

"it is... it still feels weird i can't believe you're really here."

"did you believe i was not real?"

"no it's not that taro i just... never really thought we would get to meet so fast..!"

"me neither... but i'm very real you know."

shotaro's words catch you off guard and you only look back at him when you hear his backpack drop on the floor. shotaro comes closer to you, his hand gently playing with a strand of you hair before tucking it behind your ear. you can feel your heart stop with each breath.

"i can prove i'm very much real if that can help you believe..."

you have no idea what he has in mind until you feel his hands cup your cheeks and give you an experimental kiss. his lips feel warm against yours, you grab his wrist in your fingers feeling your knees tremble. your mind races with thoughts and the butterflies in your stomach are flying everywhere. shotaro cut the kiss and you feel his breath hit your lips, his eyes deep into yours looking for any kind of answer to his actions.

this turn of events is not the one you expected but it's not like you are going to complain. you can't count all the time you thought telling shotaro about the fluttering feeling you felt each time you heard his voice in a phone call or saw his smile in pictures on social media. right now is the best way to tell him. your arms find a comfortable place around his neck and shotaro presses his lips against yours again in a more eager kiss.

one of shotaro's hand grip your waist, his lips moving perfectly in sync with yours, getting more desperate each second. he pushes his tongue inside, fingers tangled into your hair and he drags you closer to his body. you part away from his lips and look at the string of saliva still connecting the both of you. everything about shotaro has you addicted, from his scent to the feeling of his hand wandering under your hoodie, the look in his eyes and his pretty lips swollen from the heated kiss.

"is it more real to you now?"

"taro... i wanted this for so long..."

"let's keep going then."

shotaro backs you down your bed, still holding your waist when you lay down in the middle of your pillows. he climbs on top of you and crashed his lips on yours in a heavy kiss, devouring your lips completely. he shamelessly presses himself against you, finding his place between your legs and he drags his mouth down your neck, sucking spots on your skin that has you moaning softly. you push your fingers into his hair and let him bite on every little bit of skin he wants.

you feel shotaro's hands travel under your hoodie, his nails going over the curves of your waist and he's quick to push the clothes over your head. he has your chest fully exposed only for himself to see and he lowers his lips to put open mouth kisses down your chest. his fingers massage your hips, digging into the skin.

you tug on the sleeve of his sweatshirt and shotaro gets the hint, sitting on his knees to take off his top. you admire his toned chest and the swift muscles of his shoulders, shotaro smirking at your eyes traveling his body. it's not your first time seeing shotaro's chest, you had seen it on some of his friends' instagram pictures when he went on holidays -no it's not stalking you convinced yourself, you were just trying to know him better-. but now that he's in front of you, you don't remember if you ever felt this hot in your stomach when you saw those pictures.

shotaro goes back to his initial place, he captures your lips in another kiss and presses his chest against yours, his skin providing a comfortable warmth. his body is so hungry for yours, the pace of his lips and the slight grind of his hips make you lose your mind, your hands wander on his back.

shotaro is not as out of breath as you are, maybe he isn't feeling as hot as you? the way he grinds the obvious bulge in his black sweatpants against yours inner thigh say otherwise... shotaro hands fumble on the button of your pants, dragging it down your legs and you catch his wrist. the soft smile he gives you is enough to quiet your nervous heartbeat and shotaro finishes stripping you naked for him.

he pulls down his sweatpants and underwear impatiently and drags slowly his hand over his cock, just gasping at the sight of you. you watch him jerk off, precum dripping from between the tight grip of his fingers around the dick. the low groan that leaves his lips make yourself grow even hotter and you squirm on the bed for any kind of attention.

"i'll make you feel good now i promise."

shotaro lets out a low chuckle and push his free hand down your thigh to part you legs wider, positioning himself for what's to come. he slowly rubs his cock against your folds, his tip teasing your entrance so deliciously it could have you crying his name. shotaro pushes entirely himself inside and grab your thighs to get even deeper.

shotaro loses any kind of self control he had the second he's inside of you. the way your walls flutter around him, the way you're so tight just enough for him to fit in, the way your back arches just because he's so deep. he rolls his hips slowly eliciting a loud moan from you and it only encourages him to go harder. he thrusts inside you at a quick pace, stretching you even more at every move.

he bends down to burry his face into your neck, both his hands reaching the behind of your thighs to push them apart. the sound of his hips crashing into yours and the bed hitting the wall each time he's deep inside your core has your head spinning. you grab his shoulders, your nails dig inside his skin. you hear him groan in your ear but he bites down on your neck to silence himself and soon you can only hear his heavy breathing.

shotaro grind his hips into yours expertly, he reaches point so deep inside it has your eyes rolling back into your head. you mumble his name over and over again through whines. one harsh thrust has you crying, your lips parted in a silent moan and your head thrown back, allowing shotaro to spread kisses on your throat.

shotaro goes back to his initial position, grabbing your hips, completely still inside, only pushing himself further. he rolls his hips extra slowly with a grin on his face and watch you fall apart. he loves to see the way you grab the sheets beneath you and how his name drips from your swollen lips, he wants to see the tears in your eyes until you can't keep your eyes opened.

shotaro's hands reach for your leg that he drags over his shoulder, now pounding into you and gripping your skin. the new angle has him reaching so much deeper inside, he abuses the same spot inside of you that makes you see stars. you're only cries and moans, you just can't handle this much pressure and the tight knot in your stomach could burst any second.

shotaro knows that. one of his hand reach between your legs and his fingers rub your folds at a quick pace, enough to make your legs shake. a long whine escape your throat as your orgasm hit, shotaro pushes you over the edge again and again with deep thrusts of his hips. you body feels tired and sore, your eyes barely flutter open to watch shotaro quickly fisting his cock, his hips stuttering and curses falling from his lips.

shotaro gets closer to you as he cums, the thick fluid hitting your chest and dripping down the skin of your stomach. shotaro pumps himself empty and sit back on the bed, his chest heavily rising and falling at the speed of his breath. he comes close to you and kisses your temple, you can feel him smile against your skin and it gives you the comfortable warmth you always felt when you talked to shotaro.

"thank you."

shotaro chuckles in your neck and press your body closer. you don't understand why he's thanking you, is it because it was good? or because he's happy to be with you? your mind wanders away and soon you can only think about shotaro's quiet breathing and his arm around your waist.

two weeks. it's all that was given to you and shotaro to be together. for now. and it's like you were glued together, sitting next to each other in class, eating together, going out together. you don't think his classmates have seen shotaro once in the exchange students dorm since he's been staying with you every single night since the first day. you could only swear it now, you are so deeply in love with shotaro.

you would say the way shotaro loves you is the same as yours, just hornier. the japanese student uses your time efficiently, and you wouldn't really complain. you sucked him off under the table in class, he had you riding him during a particularly long lecture, you made out on the teacher's desk in the late evening, and you believe he bent you down on every surface of your tiny room. each time was better than the previous one, you grew addicted to the feeling of him inside of you and you loved to see the red marks covering your chest in the mirror.

the last day, you felt heartbroken. shotaro was going to be so far away again, and it's not like any of you can afford to meet anytime soon. but shotaro was just giggling the whole day, always holding your hand, and you couldn't get yourself to be as sad as you felt on the inside.

shotaro kissed you goodbye in front of everyone, earning stupid noises and laughs from his japanese classmates. you can still remember the taste of his lips on yours. the second the bus drove away down the street, the tears filled your eyes and you knew it was going to be even harder than you imagined.

it's been 10 days since you last heard of shotaro. he messaged you when the plane landed, telling you he's heading home now, and after that, silence. no one in your class had news about him, and you started to get really anxious. maybe something happened? maybe something went wrong?

you found his instagram empty. all the pretty pictures of the sky or food disappeared, only his name on his profile could be read. you wander through his following to check his friends' instagram like you used to do when you started talking together. most of the profiles were private, but you recognized some of the exchange students on pictures.

you finally found a photo that was taken at shotaro's university. it was shotaro's class, with some of their friends, a large group of people smiling for the camera. you weren't sure if shotaro was on the picture. you read the caption without thinking much about it, and slide to the next picture. this time you recognized shotaro almost immediately and your heart drops.

he's kissing someone and it's obviously not you. you read the caption again, your heartbeap ringing loudly into your ears.

"our dear friend that won our months lasting bet, thank you for treating us so well~~"

tears filled your eyes as you read the sentence over and over again, checking the picture as if shotaro was going to disappear from it, and it was all going to be a lie. he was going to message you and tell you everything is wrong. he'll tell you he loves you. though he never did.

the picture shows a random account is tagged on it, and you click on the profile. its private, but you can see his mischievous smile and the cap hiding his eyes on the profile picture. it can only be him, but you don't want to believe that. you read the japanese characters written on the account. 大崎将太郎. this time you can't lie to yourself.

"osaki shotaro."

sorry this was mean i loved writing it 🙂‍↕️

[siolixz]

⋆｡°✩ Of Love and Loyalty⋆｡°✩

One-Shot

+18

Pairings: Oz "The Penguin" Cobb x Reader

Reader takes Victor's place in this story. She and Oz have a difficult relationship- he clearly likes her and she is conflicted in her feelings towards him (Eve doesn't have a sexual relationship with Oz in this). While I am between chapters, I decided to write this. Life has been so busy lately- so I apologize. Everyone in this story is 18+ and consenting. I've listened to Lana while writing this sooooo

Enjoy and give feedback If you want :)

Warnings: mentions of violence, smut , gunplay (¬‿¬)

After the death of your parents you were in a bad place, evidently. In a bad place, with the wrong type of people- stealing rims; trying to get by and scraping for food every day, life was miserable in Crown Point and it seemed like there was no way out.

 Not until he found you; shots firing by your head- he cornered you in the street- with a gun in your face. 

“P-please, please do-don’t.” all the words your stupid mouth could pronounce, he looked at you and he decided you were going to live- for the time being. 

This man, he was like a force of nature- so different, so strange. He was the most terrifying person you ever met in your life, from the way he carried himself to the way he dressed- you knew he was a mobster. Someone that the boys on the block, the ones that thought they were ‘tough’ and bullied people like you- people that needed help- could only ever dream of being like. 

Only in small glimpses could you see the man that was underneath; he was lonely, that much you knew- he was a man who dreamed of being respected, of being feared and loved, by all- maybe by you too, by the way you would catch him staring at you, the way he touched you sometimes- on your shoulder, on your hips- one time he brushed the hair out of your face, small acts of domestic kindness gave you glimpses into his desires, his wants and needs.  

“Where you from, kid?” He asked you about your life, he listened and he showed how kind he was, regarding your father and mother and your sister, for the first time since the traumatic event someone listened- everything, everything was taken from you.

He told you, “You have to be hard as nails, think on your feet.” He was right, people like you had to fight for the things they needed, the things they had to get in order to survive. He was like a mentor, you looked up to him, really- you did, but you were also scared, scared that one day you’re gonna do something wrong- say something wrong and he will put a bullet between your eyes before you know it. You couldn’t leave, if you did he was going to find you- the thought of that sent shivers down your spine.

As Robert told you about him leaving for California, you felt a rug being pulled from underneath you- he was the only thing tying you to your old life, the old you. The one who used to sneak into abandoned buildings with your friends; the one who ran home from school to meet up with him and your other friends to hang outside together- to enjoy life. 

“Why-why would you do that? Your whole life is here” you asked him. You and Robert enjoyed each other’s company, he kissed you a few times but that was all, he wasn’t your boyfriend, though you cared for each other.

“Not anymore” he told you “Our families are dead…we gotta care for ourselves now. Look at you, living in this nice apartment- it’s crazy he lets you stay here.” He looked around, almost not believing HE was here, let alone you. You told him that you do some paperwork for this club owner and he lets you stay in one of his spare apartments as payment, a good enough lie, he didn’t probe further. 

“Wh-when are you leaving?” you asked and as he told you that tomorrow night- you wanted to cry, beg him to stay.

“You could come with me” he grabbed your hands and leaned down to look at you “we could start over.” 

You looked at him and nodded “Robert, I-i’m not sure he…he will let me leave.” You took a deep breath. 

“Who? Your boss?” he asked.” Why would he care if you left? Does he-“ Robert took a pause, debating if he was going to ask you this or not “-does he ask for other things too?” You knew exactly what he was referring to. 

“N-no, nothing like that. Robert... this guy, he’s not just like a-a club owner.” you looked him in the eyes, trying to find a way to break this to him “He-he’s like…like a gangster.”

Jack’s eyes went wide “Then you definitely shouldn’t work for this guy. You need to leave.” He’s right, you did need to leave.

How is he gonna know? He’s too busy with Sofia to care for the moment, too concentrated on the new drug- this could be a way out- to get out of this city- for good this time. Leave all the pain in Gotham, start a new life.

 “The bus is leaving tomorrow night, 11pm, promise i’ll see you there?”

“Yes, promise.’ He gave you a quick kiss and left. 

After he came back home, he told you every detail he could think about. He seemed excited, that’s good. He told you he’s gonna need you tomorrow, he had a meeting with the Triads, apparently he forged an alliance with Sofia. Good, good for him, you were happy. Way too happy to see HIM happy, he was your captor- you shouldn't be happy for him.

Too bad you’re not gonna stick around to find out how the deal ends.

 While you were thinking of ways you could tell him about you disappearing while you waited in the Maserati- you were interrupted by a cop and you followed your ‘mentor’s’ words, “think on your feet”---he told you that evening that he was proud of you; as he smiled and grabbed your hand at the lunch you had to observe Luca’s wife at. 

This ‘intimacy’ he placed on you, he was going further and further every day. You didn’t want this, did you? Your stomach did a flip whenever he touched you or looked at you, maybe you wanted to be loved too, protected. 

Oz was also a charismatic man and pretty funny too, so what's not to like? Besides all the killing, he joked around with you and it seemed he enjoyed when you would give him a remark back, when you showed him you had it in you. 

You were leaving tomorrow, when he was gonna be busy at the club- his club. As he was talking to Sofia, he instructed you to be the supplier to the hookers giving the people in the club ‘Bliss’ that’s how he called it. 

His idea, you were sure.  You had to be dressed the part, in a tight white dress so short you couldn’t bend over at all in, your breast barely covered by the material. 

Between trying to calm your nerves and trying to ignore the way Oz was looking you up and down like a starving man looking at a 3 course meal, this night was going to be hard to get through. 

But you already made a plan, when everyone was distracted, the girls with the customers and Oz with the Triads- you were going to escape. Out the back door and into the night- for a chance at a better life. 

As the evening went on the girls were becoming more and more demanding, people loved ‘Bliss’ and they sure loved you, when you came by- with the product in your purse they cheered for you; they knew your name, some even hit on you- but that’s not important.  

You had to “get your head in the game” like he would say, Oz, it felt so wrong to think like this but you felt bad, a part of you felt like you were gonna let him down- break his heart.

You weren’t ambitious like he taught you to be, you were a coward, afraid of a life like this, afraid of a life with him. 

He was always so full of confidence, of pride- you wanted him to be proud of you too.  Maybe he was going to be so happy he was gonna take the next step and kiss you, you didn’t want this, did you? This dangerous man, he killed people, he murdered them in cold blood and he liked it too.

He was also kind and funny and lonely, so lonely; you were lonely too, you could have a better life here in Gotham, as well- under his wing. 

You checked your phone “Bus is leaving in one hr, u coming?” Robert texted you.

Yes, yes of course you were coming, you had to get to the staff bathroom- upstairs, so you could leave his cash there; change into your old clothes- jeans and a t-shirt- blend into the crowd and leave. 

As Roxy called out your name and pulled you into the crowd, ‘to dance’ she yelled. You couldn’t look suspicious, play the part- play the part, you repeated in your head. 

“You two look like a match.” She yelled in your ear and smirked at you.

“Wh-who?” 

“You and the big boss” she grabbed your waist almost embracing you “Did you fuck him yet? Or are you saving yourself for marriage?” She giggled in your ear as she told you that.

“No.” You answered, clear as day. You saw the way they looked at you- back at Oz’s apartment, you just thought you looked different from them, they were all dressed so nice and you looked like you’ve been to hell and back, because you did- so that’s why they were whispering and giggling to themselves about. 

You told Roxy you had to go, said your goodbyes and you left immediately after. 

In the bathroom, you looked another time at your phone- “Bus is leaving in 30 min. Pls come.” Ok, you had to leav-

“Doll, we fucking did it! Triads are in.” The sound of the door being opened hard enough it almost fell off its hinges, made you immediately drop your phone near the sink ”Oh, it was sweet, you should’ve seen it. We gotta play it safe I mean I still got the Maronis on my ass.” he smiled at you, flashing his gold teeth and started to point his finger towards you.

“But you! Look at you, you fucking did it. I’m proud of you, so fucking proud of you!” He came closer to you and grabbed your face- cradling it, “I told Roxy to order some of that red wine you like- the good stuff, cmon!” He grabbed your upper arm and in the worst timing possible-your phone started ringing near the sink- you quickly turned around and closed it. 

“Give it to me-” He’s going to kill you. 

“Oz-”

“Now, GODDAMIT!” he yelled and you jumped. Your heart beating a thousand miles per hour, he couldn’t see what the texts were, he was going to go crazy. Now for sure, he was going to kill you. Great. You unlocked your phone and gave it to him, your knees felt like play doh.  

As he blinked and looked down at your phone, you could see him scroll through the messages. He looked up at you and you could swear you could see him think about what he was gonna say to you. This man- who was never quiet-was reduced to silence, for the first time since you met him.  God, this was a mistake, why did you want to leave, you didn’t want to leave him.

“We’re this fucking close and you wanna bail on me like that, for what? Some fucking guy who doesn’t care about you.” he said, brows furrowed. He didn’t know Robert, didn’t know if he cared about you or not, yet he is pretty sure he doesn’t- maybe he cares more than him. “With my fucking money, huh?” he asked, after looking at your purse and you. 

“N-no, I swear, it’s not-not about that.” You pleaded, hopefully he was gonna listen, please listen, you thought. 

“What did you have huh? Before I found you? Nothing.” He was right, you did have nothing “I gave you food, shelter, a job and I’m still not good enough for you-”

“Oz, n-no this isn't about that.” you pleaded.

“It sure as shit looks like it. You think you’re too good for this life. You wanna go? Whadya waitin’ for?” he moved his much larger body out of the way, so you could have a clear path towards the door “Fucking go.” He looked almost sad- desperate in a way.

“I-i can’t.” You couldn’t leave, he was going to kill you; he told you that- multiple times.

“The fuck, you think I’m holding you hostage or something? Like you’re my prisoner” Yes, you are. Maybe you liked it, maybe this whole ‘im gonna escape' thing was all a bluff, you wanted a life like this, it excited you, it made your heart race- like he did. 

He moved his hand beneath his jacket and before you knew it- he pointed his gun at you.

“Oz-oz, hey-“ you started

“What did you have, huh? Before I found you?” He slowly started to move towards you, gun shoved near your face. “Fucking nothing. You were nothing. I would kill for you- I gave you so much of what I had, you have all the opportunity in the fucking world.” He came close enough you could smell his cologne and smell the whiskey on his breath “But this” he pressed the gun next to your head “this is all you feel!” His voice was breaking. 

“N-no-“ you tried to find the words to change his demeanor. You almost started to cry, your heart fell to your ass and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole right now

“This is all you feel, huh? Being with me?”  He looked into your eyes, his own brown eyes were being illuminated by the bathroom you were in, almost reddish- showing the anger and disappointment he probably felt- you let him down. 

“What else did you tell him, huh?” He asked, once he removed the gun from your temple, as he trailed it down your body, from your neck to your belly. “That I’m in the mob... that I kill people, that you helped hide a fucking dead body?” 

He was so close to you, the way he pressed you against the wall- reminding you of the first time you met him. “That I wanna fuck you?” He whispered.

His question made your ears and cheeks flush with blood and your heartbeat start pounding even more- if that was even possible. His gun trailed even lower and you thought he stopped pointing it at you, until you felt the cold barrel of it on your leg- goosebumps appeared on your skin, he trailed it up and up until it gripped your tight dress from underneath. 

His pupils were blown wide and his breath was getting heavier. “Truth is, you always had a choice.” He moved the gun even higher and with the help of his hand your thongs were on full display in front of him, your dress on your waist.  

He moved his gun to the front of your panties, pressing against your pubic bone- you didn't want to look down and stare at the shameful display.  

“And you choose to stay.” As he moved the gun near the part of the thong that was covering your clit and moved it down there, you couldn’t help the moan that escaped you and you looked down, partially because this was so shameful and partly because you didn’t want him to see how turned on you were. 

As you opened your eyes when you looked down- you saw his boner in his pants and the gun he had pointed towards you and the way he held it- like he actually was going to shoot you. 

“I’m-I’m sorry.” You whispered, hoping this would be enough. Maybe you could move on- you didn’t mean it. 

“Look at me.” you reluctantly raised your head “This is what you want, this life- doing this...Don’t fucking lie to yourself. You want to be more than your parents, be someone.” He looked at your lips and then back up into your eyes, as you remained quiet he pressed the gun even harder against your clothed clit. 

“M-my parents would be ash-ashamed of me.” He pressed it even harder “please.”

“Please what? You have to use your words doll.” He gave you a glinted smile- he enjoyed this immensely, what a sick man. “Maybe I can give your little boyfriend a call, have my men go after him and put a bullet in his fucking head. “ 

“You wanna be nothing, great, you already are.” He moved his gun from the right hand to the left and replaced the cold barrel of the pistol with his fingers; the warmth of them was warmly greeted with your involuntary moan. He moved the gun right under your chin- you wanted to cry again, your eyes were closed. He was capable of anything. Don’t cry in front of him, don’t do it.  

He started tracing circles on your clit and as you opened your mouth to breath out a moan, he pressed his lips to yours- tongue touching your upper lip. You were scared, so fucking scared, all you felt since meeting him was this- attraction and fear. All of it led to this moment, a breaking point he reached once he thought you were gonna leave him.

“Open your mouth” he was mere inches away from your lips, he moved the gun next to your body again, pressing into you “open.”- you obeyed. The size of him alone pressing into you was almost suffocating. 

You tried to kiss back- in all your shocked state, truly, you tried. His touches on the most sensitive part of your body were becoming erratic, too busy with the fact he was kissing you. He left your clit and started groping your breasts, almost painfully, you gave him a groan of pleasure mixed with the uncomfortable feeling of having a man his size shove himself over you, touching you anywhere he could get his hands on. 

“You talk about leaving me but you’re so fucking wet.” a trail of saliva connected your mouths “You wanted this.” This wasn’t how you thought the night would end, with your boss on top of you. “Still think I’m wrong?” He removed himself from on top of you and grabbed your arm- putting you in front of the mirror, with him behind you; gun still in his hand.

You saw him pull himself out of his pants and shuddered, maybe in fear and maybe in lust too, this big scary man. Almost crying just because you wanted to leave him, you’ve only known him for a few weeks. 

You were holding yourself up on your hands and as he pulled your panties to the side and slowly entered you, you saw him close his eyes in pleasure and then look back down at the way you took him.

He pressed the palm of his hand on your back; so you leaned forward even more, giving him an eyeful of you and him.

You almost felt like screaming when he buried himself so deep into you the next second, you’re pretty sure you did. What if one of the girls came in? You’re pretty sure Oz wouldn’t give less of a fuck about that right now. 

“Ow fucckk..” he looked up and back down again before setting a pace that made your knees almost give out, thank God you were holding yourself up. He grabbed one of your legs and put them on the sink so he could bury himself even deeper. 

When you felt something cold once again on your head you knew he had the gun pointed again at you; your blood ran cold. “You wanted to leave me..I own you.. I fucking own you” He smacked your bum so hard you knew it would leave a mark; with his eyebrows furrowed and a slight smile he asked you “Tell me, who owns you?” he wants to humiliate you, you thought you had a choice; that you could leave, you never had a choice; never will.

You felt like your cheeks would light on fire by the embarrassment you felt, either way, you had to obey him.

“Y-you” you shamefully lowered your head; closing your eyes, God it felt good to be fucked like this, minus the gun, on second thought, maybe with the gun was better. This was sick.

“Didn’t fucking hear you!” he roughly grabbed your hair and pulled you flush against him, with one hand he held the gun under your chin, with the other he grabbed your breast and fucked you against the sink. You didn’t know what to grab- so one of your hands instinctively grabbed the one he had against your boob- to pull him away if he grabbed you as hard as he did before and with the other-you held the one that had the gun. 

He pressed his nose against your cheek, “Who owns this pussy too, huh?” he kissed the side of your face, he wasn’t going to stop, was he?

Not only were you getting fucked by a man decades older, he practically could do whatever he wanted with you; kill you, fuck you, make you beg for him.

 “You do.” You hated saying this and loved it at the same time- the way he felt inside you, his big hands on you, the same hands that killed so many people without so much as a second thought- this was too much.

“Jesus…you’re fucking drenched.” He wasn’t lying, besides the muffled sounds of music from outside- the only sound in the room was the one your bodies made and the occasional groan from him and your moans, only you two could hear them- at least you hoped. 

“I’m gonna cum…tell me you want me to cum.. tell me you want it inside.” Goosebumps appeared on your skin and your thighs started shaking a little, either by the size of him or in anticipation, you didn’t know.

“I want it, please.” you told him, at this point his face was buried in your neck and his pace was losing momentum so you pushed yourself up against him; again and again.

 “Please what? Please what?!” he asked while fucking you

 “I want you to cum in-inside.” This whole ordeal, it got you so spent up you felt tears in your eyes; he shoved himself as deep as he could inside of you, pushing your body next to the sink until it was painful and you felt the way his cock was pulsing inside of you. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” he kissed you on your cheek. “You’re not going anywhere.” he whispered again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note: Dude you fucked your own criminal kingpin boss?

Hope you liked the story, have a good day xoxomxxoxoxo

[melanieph321]

Hi, could you do a Ruben Dias x reader x Josko Gvardiol👀

OMG OMG OMG! 🙈🙈

10 DAYS OF REQUESTS

(DAY 2)

Ruben Dias/Joško Gvardiol x Reader - Tussle Of Three

18+

Must be nice. Is all I can say. 😝

Enjoy! 💞

They weren't fighting over you. Why would they? When you wanted them both.....at the sametime.

Ruben wasn't shy about a threesome. However, he did feel some type of way about sharing you with someone else. Someone who wanted you as much as him.

Badlier even.

"Come here Y/N, sit on my lap."

"She's not going anywhere."

Joško rolled his eyes at Ruben's paranoia. Although his teammate agreed to experiment, Ruben was far from getting a participation medal afterwards, that was forsure. "Relax mate. I just want her to be comfortable, and she will be....on my lap."

Ruben's hand tightened around your arm and that's when you knew to interfere. "Guys. Come on." The dimmed hotel room was already steamy enough. "Why fight when we can fuck?"

Both men grinned.

After a couple of persuasive kisses Ruben let you walk over to the bed, to Joško, who greated you with rough hands that tugged off the straps of your dress, sliding the fabric down your naked shoulders.

As stubborn as he was, Ruben sat back and watched another man play with his wife. He sat back in the leather chair placed in the corner of the baroque suite. He sat back with a hand in his pants, stroking himself slowly as he saw your body unravel in the darkness.

"God." You moaned, to the sensation of Joško's hand moving between your thighs.

"Nah, leave him out of this." He chuckled against your skin. His free hand was brought to your back, steading you before traveling downwards to slap the swollen flesh of your ass, leaving a stinging mark.

"Careful." Ruben hissed, ushering a warning in a steady voice. He had stopped stroking himself, eyes narrowed at the bed.

"What can I say?" Joško teased with a smile. "I couldn't help myself. Sorry"

"It's okay baby, I liked it." You assured, watching Ruben over your shoulder. He grunted in response, a signal for the two of you to continue. You did so in a matter of foreplay. What Joško did to your body was only a fraction of what your husband's darkest fantasies intended. Joško was actually sweet compared to Ruben. Although he made his teammate watch on as he tortured you by burying his fingers deep inside of your pussy while his mouth latched onto the crest of your breasts, taking his time with your stiff nipples in his wet mouth.

You squirmed above him, struggling to keep still. The pleasure was building up to something intense, something dangerously on the verge of rupturing. But just as you wanted to explode, Ruben tapped in with a heavy hand on your shoulder. "I'll take it from here."

You came down from the high with an unsatisfied whimper as Josko stepped aside. No questions asked. He knew better than to get in the way of Ruben and his desire for you.

Wait!" You protested.

This was meant to be a threesome. Something for the three of you to enjoy. What was the point of having all three of you in the same room if one person was constantly forced to stand back and watch?

"Babe, is this not okay for you?" Ruben looked to you in concern.

"No."

He immediately backed off.

"Wait, no. I mean yes. Yes, this is okay for me. However..." You reached for your husband's hand and did the same thing with Joško's. "I want all three of us to enjoy this. Please, it's what we came here for."

The two men regarded each other skeptically, a stand off between two lovers. But then Ruben initiated a peace offering by leaning forward and pressing a feather-like kiss to your neck. He then moved you to stand to the side of him while he did the same thing to Joško, his lips lingering a bit longer against his teammates pale skin. The men shared a knowing glanced and went onto offer you a seat on the bed.

"After you." Joško nodded at Ruben, who gladly got rid of the rest of his clothes, joining you on the bed. Joško did the same, stripping himself naked to let his erect cock and clenching muscles reveal his egerness for a tussle of three.

Your heart fluttered having two men sandwich you on a dream bed, their erect penises grinding against you like thick lodges. For a second, while drowning in the caressing of your body, a sudden fear struck you. An irrational fear that these two men wider in size and height, could do as they pleased with you. In any way they wished to. For as long as they wished to and as hard as they wished to.

But this was Ruben you were fearing. Your loving husband who, despite the unethical situation, whispered sweet nothings in your ear as if you were alone, making love in your bed at home. Even Joško, with his barbaric appearance, never forced you into uncomfortable positions without reminding you of your safeword of the night. And his lips upon your body, his tounge sometimes inside of it, never drove you over an edge you weren't prepared to leap from.

Together, the two men made you the center of attention. Taking turns to please you in ways you never thought possible. They left you tender and warm skinned. Heat generating from places one would never expect to generate as much moisture as it did. And when it all eventually came to a finish, sunlight had begun creeping into the room.

By that time you had transformed into one. One thrusting body. Ruben and Joško, taking you from the front and behind as you cried out the final rises of pleasure. The fifteenth time that night.

DON'T MISS - 10 DAYS OF REQUESTS

(DAY 1)