#he is not a nice person!! BUT when he cares about someone that is when he shines. even if it's a bit too much & a bit too intensely (lydia)

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

CAN WE HAVE DOEY BEING A PLATONIC YANDERE TO THE PLAYER?? I WONDER HOW HE WOULD ACT GIVEN HIS CONFLICTING PERSONALITIES AND EMOTIONS DUE TO BEING MADE OUT OF THREE KIDS

Yes, you absolutely can! This ended up being way longer than I first planed and I'm actually pretty proud of it :)

Platonic yandere Doey & Reader

★ When Doey first meets the Player, he is intrigued. It's not every day you meet someone who keeps cheating the grim reaper. As Doey spends more time with the Player, he realizes that they are different than most employes. You are nice and treat him kindly.

★ His conflicting personalities create a strange mix of curiosity and adoration inside of him. Especially after you stay to help the Safe Haven instead of working with Poppy. Plus, the Player has been through so much already. They really should really take a break.

★ He goes above and beyond to make them feel comfortable and secure in their new home. He introduces them to the other toys, making sure they feel included and part of their little community. Tries to help them relax after what they have been through, also.

★Doey becomes emotionally dependent on the Player, deriving a sense of purpose and stability from their presence. The thought of losing the Player or not being able to protect them fills him with fear and anxiety, fueling his yandere tendencies.

★ All three parts of him agree on one thing, protect the Player at all costs. That means not letting them leave the Safe Haven. At least not without him. It comes from a place of genuine care, having concern for the Player's well-being.

★ He prioritizes their needs, ensuring the Player feels safe and loved. If the player were to reciprocate his care by doing things to make him feel valued, it would mean the world to him. If it's not too much, could he pretty please hold your hand? (please say yes)

★ The player's consistent care builds trust between them. That trust is very important. Never break it or you might regret it. Doey is still unstable at times, and he could still lash out at you if the wrong button is pushed.

★ Yandere Doey is very possessive, he is aware of this and tries his best not to be. He really wants to give the Player the freedom they deserve but at the same time he fears losing you to others and may become anxious if you spend too much time with another toy.

★ Those thoughts are silly, he knows it, you would never abandon him for a new friend. However, that nagging voice in his head tells him differently. It may end up with him subtly manipulating the Player. It was for friendship though so it's okay!

★ He might use guilt or even fear to keep the Player close, making them feel responsible for his emotional well-being. The thought of the Player getting hurt when he's gone fills him with all sorts of bad feelings. Ones he doesn't even want to think about.

★ By this time it's too late to go back. He is too afraid of being abandoned, if you suggest going off to finish what you started and killing the prototype he would have a panic attack.

★ His conflicting personalities are unified in their fear of the Player facing danger and he becomes visibly distressed. It's too dangerous! If you leave and never come back, what will he do? Doey may even go as far as physically putting himself between the Player and the exit if it comes down to it.

[cranberry-queen]

@vanlydmarso Sure! So here's a chapter of a book I'm working on. In it:

Voice-of-Reason: Mark

The Wild Card: Andre

The Observer: Tina

The Instigator: Lily

The Driver: Sam

Mark pushed his way into the house, the weight of a plastic bag dangling from his wrist. He barely had time to shut the door before Tina’s voice—sharp and fast—rang through the house. Spanish. Heated.

In the kitchen, between the fridge and the island, Tina stood with her arms crossed, her foot tapping in that deadly, rhythmic way she did when her patience ran thin. Andre stood opposite her, rubbing the back of his neck, his shoulders hunched like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Mark didn’t need to understand the words to know the fight’s cause: Andre’s latest bout of unemployment.

Mark swiftly averted his gaze. Tina was the only person in the house who had no problem dishing out scoldings when necessary, and he had no intention of getting dragged into the crossfire. He made a beeline for the counter, dropped Andre’s change into the battered “Council Jar,” and set the Coke beside it before hopping the two steps down into the sunken living area. Without a word, he dropped onto the couch beside Lily and extended his bag of Sparkles toward her.

She beamed at him, plucked a yellow one from the bag, and popped it into her mouth after unwrapping it. Her thumb scrolled idly through a social media feed on her phone screen, but her ears were tuned to the kitchen. Lily was the only one of the other housemates who understood any Spanish—badly, but enough.

“Andre lost his job again?” Mark asked, voice low.

“Yup,” Lily said, still chewing. “His bartending gig was supposed to make up for the fact that Tina switched to part-time at Woolworths.”

Mark frowned. He remembered when Tina had cut her hours at the clothing store, relieved to finally focus on finishing her degree. They’d even celebrated.

“What’s worse,” Lily added, her voice dropping, “is that her contract’s locked until the next hiring cycle.”

Mark exhaled sharply through his nose. That explained why Tina’s voice had taken on that sharp, clipped edge. He watched as Lily reached for another sweet but paused, her gaze unfocused.

“Tina…” she tilted her head, listening, “She’s giving him a week to find a new job or she’s renting his half of the basement to someone else. He’s trying to guilt-trip her, but she’s not having it.”

Mark rubbed the back of his head. He could spot them the rent, had done it before. But Tina would shut him down before he even finished the offer. She’d told him once, in that firm, no-nonsense way of hers: If you make allowances for one person, you have to do it for everyone. If Andre knew there was a safety net, he’d never get a job. Pride thing, maybe. But Mark cared too much about both of them to undermine that.

A familiar jingle at the front door made them both glance up. Sam.

Even though the door was always left unlocked during the day, she always used her key. Habit, she claimed. Six months wasn’t enough to break it.

The door swung open, and Sam waltzed in, a brightly colored box in her arms. She kicked the door shut behind her, her usual energy undeterred by the shouting match in the kitchen. Tina and Andre, caught mid-argument, paused long enough for Tina to sigh and give Sam an apologetic look.

“Sorry, guys. Give us a minute.” She grabbed Andre’s forearm and dragged him toward the basement door.

Once they were out of sight, Sam dropped the box onto the kitchen island with a grin.

Mark and Lily pushed off the couch, leaving the half-eaten bag of sweets and instant noodles behind. Sam saluted the faded photo of Mark’s parents on the fridge before popping the lid open.

“Since when is your manager this nice?” Lily asked as they settled onto the barstools.

“New manager,” Sam replied, filling the kettle. “Layla. She lets the closing staff take leftovers before they get tossed. Hates waste but doesn’t want upper management to sniff around.”

“She’s not worried someone will rat her out?” Mark snagged a chicken mayo sandwich.

Sam tossed a few crumpled receipts into the bin and dumped her spare change into the “Council Jar.” “And lose free food? Not a chance.”

“I’m not complaining,” Lily hummed around a chocolate jam doughnut.

Mark chuckled at her choice before nodding at Sam. “You actually make it to the lab on time this morning, or did you sweet-talk your way out of being late again?”

Sam rolled her eyes, stuffing a cinnamon bite into her mouth. “Made it. Barely. Professor Lennox would’ve lost it if I strolled in late again.”

“What are you even working on now? Thought you said it was some kinda cube?” Mark asked.

“An energy cube,” Sam corrected, setting their coffees in front of them. She took a seat. “It’s a self-sustaining generator. The casing works like a Faraday cage but channels electromagnetic energy into the core instead of just blocking it.”

“So it absorbs power?” Lily squinted, bracing for the answer to be wrong.

“Exactly. The core’s a supercapacitor, paired with what we call a ‘quantum resonance matrix.’ It stabilizes the absorbed energy, making it constant. Once powered, it emits a localized field that wirelessly powers electronics. Like Wi-Fi, but for electricity.”

“So, my phone would charge just by being near it?” Mark folded his arms, intrigued.

“Yup.” Sam’s face lit up. “No wires, no batteries. Just this little cube in the corner of the room.”

Lily arched a brow. “That sounds terrifying. What’s stopping it from frying everything?”

“That’s what we’re figuring out.” Sam shrugged. “We gotta break a few devices to get it right.”

Mark smirked. “So it’s either a game-changer or a phone-melter.”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Lily muttered, sipping her coffee.

Sam grinned and reached into her bag, pulling out a cube the size of a coffee mug. “This one’s defective. Too small for the prototype, so I gotta toss it tomorrow.”

Lily reached out but yelped the second her fingers brushed it, dropping it straight into her coffee.

Mark swore and fished it out with a dish towel, his whole body jolting from the shock. Every cell in his body felt awake.

Sam frowned, brushing off Lily’s frantic apologies. “Weird. It shouldn’t have done that—”

Before she could finish, Andre and Tina reappeared.

“What’s that?” Andre snatched the cube before Sam could stop him. He held it up, studying it—then winced, hand jerking back. “Ow—what the hell?”

“Give it back.” Sam reached for it.

Andre smirked and pulled it just out of her reach. “Relax, Doc, I’m just—ow! Damn thing shocked me.”

Tina sighed, smacked him upside the head, and took the cube. The second it touched her palm, she yelped and dropped it.

Sam caught it mid-air and stuffed it back into her bag. “Right. No one touch the shiny, defective, probably-shouldn’t-be-here cube.”

Tina gave her a long look before grabbing her coffee and sitting down. Andre followed suit, still shaking out his hand.

Sam grinned at them. “So, dinner’s on me?”

Tips from a Beta Reading Writer

This one's for the scenes with multiple characters, and you're not sure how to keep everyone involved.

Writing group scenes is chaos. Someone’s talking, someone’s interrupting, someone’s zoning out thinking about breadsticks. And if you’re not careful, half your cast fades into the background like NPCs in a video game. I used to struggle with this so much—my characters would just exist in the scene without actually affecting it. But here’s what I've learned and have started implementing:

✨ Give everyone a job in the scene ✨

Not their literal job—like, not everyone needs to be solving a crime or casting spells. I mean: Why are they in this moment? What’s their role in the conversation?

My favourite examples are:

The Driver: Moves the convo forward. They have an agenda, they’re pushing the action.

The Instigator: Pokes the bear. Asks the messy questions. Stirring the pot like a chef on a mission.

The Voice of Reason: "Guys, maybe we don’t commit arson today?"

The Distracted One: Completely in their own world. Tuning out, doodling on a napkin, thinking about their ex.

The Observer: Not saying much, but noticing everything. (Quiet characters still have presence!)

The Wild Card: Who knows what they’ll do? Certainly not them. Probably about to make things worse.

If a character has no function, they’ll disappear. Give them something—even if it’s just a side comment, a reaction, or stealing fries off someone’s plate. Keep them interesting, and your readers will stay interested too.

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 11

Ch 12 is done and I'm kinda foaming at the mouth to give it to y'all- but I need to wait to finish ch 13-

Enjoy!

Masterlist || First || previous<< Chapter 11 >>next

Finding The Immortal was harder than expected but you weren’t surprised. Cecil worked The Guardians to the bone, you were sure. Nevertheless, you found him in the end, quickly flying next to him to greet him.

Surprised, the man looked at you before giving a small, weary smile while greeting you back. “This may sound crazy and like I’m digging into your life, and I understand if you don’t wish to speak about it, but I really need-“ You stopped as soon as he grabbed your shoulders, making you both stop midair and face each other. “It’s okay, take a breath.”

“See- that’s the thing! I don’t need to breathe, I don’t need to eat, I can’t die because I’m immortal like you due to magic and I need to talk to someone who gets it because this past week I feel everyone’s been acting crazy and it’s making me feel crazy- And- and I’ve lost you.” You looked at the shocked man. “You’re immortal?...”

“Yep.” You nod. “… Long story?” The Immortal asks slowly, getting the same response in return. His beeper goes off and without even looking at it he turns it off. “That may have been important.” You pointed it out, but he just chuckled and smiled. “This is important too. I’m sure the others can do well without me for a bit. Now, how about we talk over some food? I know this little family dinner in Las Vegas.” You relaxed, nodding at his suggestion.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“- and then he just tells me to be careful around certain magical weapons because they might hurt me- Like dude, you told me I’m immortal, taught me a bit of magic, and then dipped telling me to see him in a week at the same spot- he could have at least given me a way to contact him after telling me that something might kill me!” You sigh and take a bite of your burger and fries. “You were right, by the way, this is a great spot.”

Immortal chuckles at your complaint. “At least there is someone who is helping.” He furrowed his brows as he also ate bits of his steak. “Or is trying. I had a mental breakdown the first time I realized that I’m not aging and keep defying death.”

“Two days after I had a panic attack thinking about how everyone I love will eventually die, even Nolan and Mark- sure it’ll take a few centuries but that’s still nothing to immortality! The old bastard has been acting weird since I told them too, and Luthor keeps annoying me about his blasted party- which I’m like 90% sure is a front for my birthday- and today I’m supposed to meet the British bastard, but before I have to visit someone else-”

“Breathe, it’ll be fine, you’ll live.” The ancient man tried to reassure you with a small joke about the situation. “I can’t give much advice about this- your immortality seems very different from mine, and to be honest, I never actively think about it considering how sensible of a subject it is. Especially the ‘how many people will pass right by you’ topic. It’s…”

“Terrifying?” He sighs and nods at the completion. “It’s nice to know I’m not alone anymore, and that you thought I’d be the best person to talk about it with.” He plays with his food. “Therapists say that it’s good to talk about your feelings, right? I think it will be great for us both to talk openly about it- I don’t have a phone, but I do hang by the hero memorial stone every other Sunday- if, you know-“

“I’d love that, thank you Immortal…Abraham? Have you chosen a new name?” As your soft smile turned to a confused look the man only laughed, assuring you to call him whatever. Perhaps after that many years, names do lose their importance, or maybe it was the fact that he never had one when he was born in the Stone Age that could be translated to New World speech. “The honey pancakes are to die for, by the way.” His choice of words makes you snort with amusement.

“…You and Lex Luthor are friends?” He asks, a mix of confusion and surprise filling his tone. You just give a long sigh. “Friends is such a strong word…”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You waited patiently in front of the manor’s front entrance, smiling once the doors opened, immediately being greeted by the butler. “I’ll never hear you call me by my first name, will I Sanford?” You teased the older man as he led you through the halls. “I fear not, ma’am.” He smiled as he bowed, leaving you once you walked by him, getting closer to Samson.

You set the little box of treats on the accent table in between the two armchairs as you took your place across Samson while you both greeted each other. “How have you been? How’s that suit going?” Your soft-spoken questions are met with a defeated sigh and a shrug. “It’ll take two more days.”

“You know… You don’t need the suit or powers to do some good. Let me finish, please-” You quickly interrupted. These men were always so quick to jump the gun. “You’re rotting here. I’m not telling you to drop the suit but in these two days, you could go see the outside. It won’t kill you. There is this kid, Adam. He is staying at the hospital I volunteer at and he’s quite a big fan of Black Samson-“

“He’d be disappointed to see me-“ You swiftly but gently tapped his foot. “He’s one of the kids you saved when you lost your powers, Sam. He saw you lose your powers and still hold up kilograms of ruble just so he could have a chance at escape. That boy admires you now more than ever. You need to face things and it’ll be better for you if you do it before you feel like you’re worthy again just because you’ve got powers again.”

“That’s harsh, kid.” Samson almost pouted. “Learned from the best.” You shrug and he smiles. A moment of silence passes between you two before he finally asks where the hospital is.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

John was on his tenth cigarette, he was showing great restraint, really. He knew he made a mistake in asking Zatanna for help, but he seemed unable to do the opposite lately. They both had been arguing for an hour, Constantine knew that the girl would take to Zee like a cat to catnip, but this was making him regret letting Zatanna know more beyond a magical kid needs help. “I’m just saying- maybe Batman should know, she’s his kid-“

“The numpty has been locking her up in his mansion and ignoring her for years, her daft siblings too. The rogues had to raise and give her the attention Bruce wasn’t willing to.” He scratched at his chin before taking another puff.

“Maybe Bruce-“ John didn’t let her finish. “Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that, Zee. She’s just a kid- a kid who ran away because she thought Batman would kill her. Between the two of us, you should know better. You’re giving him too much grace.”

“Are you two mind reading or just mean mugging each other? Sorry for being late, by the way. Was finishing my project and lost track of time.” Your voice broke the two from their argument.  Zatanna looked at John with a raised eyebrow. “She doesn’t look like the little kid you described.” John clears his throat, brushing off the comment on his manipulation before he introduces the two. “I thought it would be good to expose you to different kinds of magic-“

“You’re ditching me.” John choked on his words as you crossed your arms, quickly denying the accusation. “- It’s just- I- Zatanna is a great Elemental mage, I thought you’d like to learn more about Umbrakinesis-“ Zatanna, at John’s rambling and pleading look, stepped forward. “It’s nice to finally meet you, John spoke highly of you.”

You gave her a gentle smile as you came closer and landed in front of her. “I doubt that, though, it’s nice to meet you too. Love your shows.” Your eyes moved to Constantine. “So, you two are going to teach me how to manipulate shadows? Can I learn the other elements and the mind-reading thingy you both were doing?”

“Telepathy, love.” John sighs as you give him a blank stare and double down. “Mind-reading thingy.” Zatanna chuckles softly at the look of pure defeat on John’s face.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Dinner was quiet. For the past week it’s been awkward, especially as Nolan kept missing dinners and breakfasts, and seemingly avoiding you and Mark specifically. “So… how has your day been?” Debbie asks, trying to lighten the mood.

“Amber and I got together, like- for real. And I mostly dealt with small stuff today. Robberies, Elephant Man, three times, the sort… Did dad text or- call, at least?” Mark mumbles, tired and slightly sore. Debbie shook her head. “No, but I’m sure he’s fine.”

You shrug once all eyes are on you. “Talked to Immortal about- you know. Also trained my magic some more and found out some elemental magic just hates me. Water tried to drown me…” You glared at the glass as you spoke, getting up with a groan after you finished half of the food. “My everything hurts. I’ll go sleep, thanks for the meal mama.”

“Aren’t you going to wait for dad?” Debbie asks softly, trying to hide her worry. You just shake your head and take your plate to trash the remains and put it in the sink. “Nah. He wants to act like the sperm donor, he’s going to get treated as such. Besides, gotta check up with my friends in Gotham. Good night.” You waved her off, not noticing Mark’s brows furrowing.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

While Hal was gaging as he encased the mangled body of The Joker, calling for the Watchtower to notify Batman that Joker had been found, Red Hood and the Sirens were celebrating, well- Jason and Harley were.

“Batman is going to be angry.” Pamela sighs in her wine glass. “Batman? Angry? Why, he’d never.” Selina joked, laughing before sipping on her own wine glass. “He’ll bust a vein when he finds out it was our little hero who did it.” Selina’s eyes catch Jason’s figure as he tries to climb onto her coffee table. “Wait- No! It’s-“ She and Pam cringe as the table wrecks to the side, the man’s body making a loud thud as he kisses the ground.

“Broken.” Catwoman sighs. “You good kid?” Ivy asks, almost being drowned by Harley's hysterical laughing. “I’m amazing! Best day of my life!” He slurs, giving two thumbs up before dropping his hands and groaning. “B-man is going to be so mad.”

Tag list: @bat1212 @trashlanternfish360 @shycreatorreview @syrooo @a-lurking-fae @alittletiredcry @kittzu @plsfckmedxddy @blackhood1229 @nxdxsworld @leeiasure @dandelion-delusion @lovebug-apple @sillysealsies @tsxukikami @enchantingarcadecreation @alishii @d3nnji @itsberrydreemurstuff @yuyuzi-ling @welpthisisboring @1abi @mxvoid26 @persephone-kore-law @bluevenus19 @ryuushou

[v3lvieraven]

Big squeeze pt.2

Note: I’m so sorry it took so long but I’m back!

Characters- Ace, Deuce, Cater, Jade, Jamil

Warnings- deuce pushing you away, deuce summoning a cauldron onto his head, deuce crushing ace with a cauldron, Jamil giving you the silent treatment

Ace-

• at first I think he wouldn’t like it that much, mainly because it would catch him off guard and he didn’t want to seem vulnerable

• honestly ace would be one of those guys who would squeal then cover it up by yelling because they don’t wanna seem girly

• Ace’s face would be red but yes he likes it (loves it)

• He’d tease you for it a lot, but the moment you revoke his squeezing privileges he’d be a whiny mess

• like a five year old who was told they couldn’t have ice cream type of whiny

• Ace would try, key word is try, to discreetly follow you around until he got what he wanted

• but everyone can tell by the way he’s trailing after you that he’s probably wanting affection

• he’s not very good at hiding his feelings, his face says everything before he can even speak!

• Ace isn’t very used to being the one chasing after someone’s attention, he used to be a playboy after all.

• so it’s strange for him to be feeling this way.

• Once he gets what he wants he’s in pure bliss though, he likes the feeling of being secure in your arms.

• After a long day of dealing with failed potions and deuce summoning a cauldron that ends up falling on him, he’s just happy to recharge in your embrace.

Deuce-

• he’s a lot more of a sweet heart about it

• Deuce definitely likes the squeezing but sometimes it can be a bit much

• so you need to make sure to read his mood before giving him one because it reminds him of his fights he used to get in

• on those days where he needs affection he will ask for one, maybe in his dorm room (he doesn’t want Grimm or Ace to be there) it’s a lot quieter compared to ramshackle

• he will usually lay next to you awkwardly for a while until you get fed up and pull him on top of you, his favorite position

• it’s the easiest way for you to squeeze him, but eventually your arms will get tired

• when that happens he likes to switch positions so you can still give him that sense of pressure and security

• don’t take it to heart if he randomly yells when you do it though, he isn’t mad, just startled

• he accidentally pushed you away a few times, each of those times he summoned a cauldron to drop on himself

• be surprised he doesn’t have brain damage

Cater-

• as long as you don’t do it in public he loves them!

• even though he’s a very social person and seems to not care too much about what others think of him, he does.

• he likes to keep this wall up, only allowing others to see a part of him that isn’t entirely truthful

• but when your alone he feels he can be himself, affectionate and calm

• he doesn’t feel like he needs to hide himself away from you

• he likes when he can just experience something without sharing it with others

• of course he will sometimes post you squeezing him, but those types of posts are rare because even though he loves to show you off, he likes to keep some aspects of your “relationship” (crush, or relationship) private

• he’s the type that likes it every once a while (maybe twice a week?) but overall doesn’t mind it if you do it all the time

• he just thinks it’s nice to be surprised, it feels more special this way, and less suffocating

• when you do squeeze him he always gets flustered, burying his face into your neck

•These are the times you see him smile, and not one he put on just for show, a real smile…

Jade-

• Im not even gonna put it any other way- he will bite you.

• he’s like his brother, mischievous and sneaky, except he doesn’t have so much mood swings as Floyd

• he’d shake his arms around your waist, and before you can continue to squeeze him harder he beats you to it

• he doesn’t do it as hard as Floyd usually does but it still takes your breath away.

• that just makes you love squeezing him even more.

• but be aware you will be getting harassed by Floyd because now he’s jealous and that just will not do!

• Jade likes to be a tease and kiss the place on your neck where pulse can be felt against his lips

• he enjoys how it’s quicker do to the restrained breathing

• “Jade I cant breathe!” You’d say between giggles

• “should’ve thought of that before you squeezed me…” he’d mumble, voice muffled with his lips against your neck

Jamil-

• at first he’s NOT having it

• that’s his personal space man like what the hell do you think your doing?

• once you get in a relationship he’ll be more accepting of if (he loves it)

• he’s never really felt like he could have something to himself so he’s happy that you aren’t doing it with anyone else-

• what’s this? You gave kalim one of your squeezes because he did you a favor?

• que temper tantrum

• I’m talking silent treatment, side eyes, huffs of air, avoiding you like the plague.

• you will literally have to trap him for him to acknowledge you

• of course he misses you but his jealousy is strong, he’s had to give up so many opportunities to serve Kalim and now that he thought he had something for himself, it wasn’t just for him?

• you quickly pick him up bridal style, causing a loud yelp to leave his lips

• he feels you bury your face into the crook of his neck as a hand goes through his hair with a certain care

• “I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you mad… please stop ignoring me..” You said, sounding genuinely confused and hurt.

• damn now he feels like a dick! Especially with how you sound like your abt to cry (srry if your not that type of person)

• “I…don’t worry about it…” he’d grumble

• obviously you don’t take it as that, squeezing him tighter as you change positions so that his legs are now wrapped around your waist, giving you more access to hugging him.

• “I am worried about it though…”

• he sighs hiding his face away with a small groan “I was jealous

•You park up “Hm?”

• “I was jealous of when you squeezed Kalim, I don’t want you doing that with anyone else…but me.” He’d whisper

• that’s when you cup his cheeks and press a kiss to his lips.

•you learned quickly that it was worth it to just share this with him, you’d show your appreciation some other way because this was reserved for Jamil.

[transformers-spike]

I just wanted to ask what you thought TFP Ratchet, Wheeljack, Dreadwing, and Bulkhead were position wise in your mind. Like are they a top, a bottom, or a switch?

To me Dreadwing and Wheeljack are both tops. I fee like they both would really be into doming their partners. Wheeljack is kinky as hell so I can see him being into super freaky shit.

And I can see Dreadwing being a much stricter dom.

I see Ratchet and Bulkhead as switches personally.

Oh man, other than my typical "It depends on the situation" answer, let me think this through. Alright, so fyi I'm going to explain if they're a sub/dom, like being on top/being ridden, and if they enjoy getting their valves filled more than spiking (aka the Top/Bottom bit) Ratchet does enjoy being in control, but he's often pretty exhausted and starving, so it would be nice if you could take the reins without injuring yourself. He has some dom tendencies but is pretty mixed all things considered. He's happy being ridden or pegged in some way - but he's also just as eager to be on top and, if his partner allows it, use their dick/dildo as the world's smallest interface toy Bulkhead is a huge sub in my opinion. He prefers being ridden purely because it means he's less likely to accidentally injure his partner (dude chillll - you're doing fine). He's a lot more likely to let his human do as they please, he can adapt to just about anything. You can penetrate him too, he just doesn't feel as much unless you focus on his anterior node. His valve can take a good pounding, although sadly no human is capable of doing that

Wheeljack is rougher by comparison, a lot more willing to bruise his human in the heat of the moment. He's not afraid to push them to their limits, and he's just as eager to be used up. He's definitely the type to suggest you shove your entire arm in his valve. He doesn't care if he's on top or being ridden, he's going to find a way to be a bastard someway. He's an absolute brat even when he's in the dominant role, someone put him in his place Dreadwing (as I typically interpret him) adapts to his partner's behavior. He's typically more reserved but still capable of assuming a more dominant/strict role as we've seen in the show (channeling his inner squadron commander lol). If his partner's a brat and they like being manhandled, he's happy to do it (although carefully - he would hate to leave a mark). Otherwise, any position works for him - and he enjoys having his valve played with, which is way too sensitive for its own good

[sunrisecaminus]

Hi I hope you having a wonderful day

May I request some sfw optimus x reader?

Message - I am having a great day actually! Also of course! Got to love the Prime once in a great while! I didn't know what to put as a story so I just made the human have a job.

Optimus x Mechanic Reader SFW

Summary - Optimus having a cute hang out at the human's store!

Warning - Very adorable!

Type of fic - Fluff

You have never had to fix so many vehicles before, until you met the Autobots. You never wanted to tell them, but Cybertronian anatomy was actually easy to learn to help Ratchet with the minor injuries these idiots get from missions. You own your very own Mechanic shop and the bots just make it less boring when they come to visit. Optimus was very respectful to you and rarely visits, but after some deep discussions you both have with each other, he will come by to see you a lot more now a days.

Right now you are giving an oil change for someone when you see from the corner of your eye the red, white and blue truck pulling up. The smile that grew on your face said it all and you finished the guys truck, got paid, and let him leave your garage. Walking outside with your o/c overalls (overall color), you pat the front of the hood and greet your big truck friend. "Hi big guy! What you in for?" You wait patiently as he transforms and looks around. "Hello y/n. I came to drop off some parts for your work. Agent Fowler said it's for Bumblebee when he comes in."

You have lifted so much weight off Ratchet's back by giving the mechs their own check ups and basic plating care routines. You have noticed that you haven't given Optimus a full check yet, but you figured it was because the man was very private about his body. You heard from a lot of his friends that he rarely likes to be touched and they blame it on him being a Prime. It didn't matter to you though, you just wanted him to feel comfortable around his new environments and relax. "Well why don't you come in? I closed for the night so no one is coming around anytime soon." Your shop close really late and it's in the middle of no where. Just outside of Jasper was just your mechanic shop, a mini gas station, and the desert. You liked how peaceful it was here, and the autobot base is actually close by, so anytime the kids need a place to stay they could always come to you for a sleep over. You lived in the back of your shop, but you didn't mind. It was like a cozy apartment inside your home with a tv, kitchen, bedroom, and your own bathroom so you didn't need to use the shops public restroom. It wasn't much, but the quiet nature of it made it feel like a luxury to you. Anyway Optimus walks over and sits just outside of the garage as you pull up a chair and grab your microwaved dinner. "So, any new stories you need to tell me? How are the kids?"

You both talk for what seemed like hours. It was so nice to get to be with him again, but what you didn't know is he felt the same way about you. You listened to everything he said and gave such good advice. What he loved most about humans was their empathy, and you had a lot of it. You played a lot of music with your vintage record player and he loved to just close his eyes and listen to the sweet music…made him forget about the war for a few hours. You NEVER talked about the war with him, unless he talked about it first. Being the person you were, you never wanted to talk to someone about deep things unless they initiated it first, a lot of people find dark topics to be uncomfortable to talk about and you knew Optimus was an awkward person. "Hey, thanks for the shipment. Speaking of, I have some new tires for you if you ever wanted to get some new ones yourself. Treat yourself and get something good once in a while to make you feel better." You eat your food, waiting for an answer as he got quiet to think about it. "I don't want to bother you about it y/n. It's very late." He spoke to you like he was such a nuisance. You wanted to change that ever since this man met you. Standing up, you grab your tool box and throw your empty container into the trash. "Transform and come on in, I can hook you up with some good classic black tires! Nothing flashy I promise."

He obeyed and did just that, transforming, and driving inside your garage. He has never done this before, so he may be a little nervous doing this with a human mechanic. It's not that he didn't trust you personally, he was just worried a human wouldn't know how to change Cybertronian tires. What Optimus didn't know, was that you have been taking classes from Ratchet and reading books in translation to help yourself understand how to do everything. You already practice changing tired on Bumblebee and Arcee, so this was going to be a piece of cake for you. Opening the tool box you walk over and hook him onto the big machine. He didn't know what it was for at first until his entire body gets lifted a few feet off the ground. "Are you sure this will hold?" You chuckle from how anxious he was and pat his bumper. "You'll be fine I promise, Fowler hooked me up with some expensive tech so this baby can hold a plane." You put on gloves and start to get to work.

After about two hours, you clean off the last tire and lower him to the ground. He was a big mech so you made sure you lowered him slowly and you see the tires pressing against the shops floors. "Aaaaaand we are done! Now I already sprayed them and put some air in them so you won't have to come back for another check up in-" You interrupt yourself when you heard nothing coming out of him. You could sense that he wasn't listening so you press your hand on his door. "Hey, you ok? Optimus?" That was when you heard a soft noise coming out of his engine…he was asleep. You smiled from the cute moment that is happening right now and you grab a tarp from the back. It was a nice giant blue tarp that is used to protect vehicles from weather conditions as you draped it over his entire body. Going inside the kitchen, you make yourself a cup of hot chocolate as you go back outside into the garage to sit yourself by the desk you have. You take a sip of the mug and place it on the table, grabbing a pen to start drawing for your next blueprint idea. You look back at the sleeping prime that was in your garage. "Sweet dreams Optimus…love you." You go back to work as what you don't see is him flustered on the inside. He woke up when you gave him the blanket…and now he plans to visit you everyday from now on.

[contamination-zone]

warning im a yapper

hello ummm just wanted to say!!! i really like the dynamic you give fresh and nightmare/color with the whole “cat who goes to different houses to get fed twice” thing. nightmare and his weird cat that he has probably locked in a basement a few times. color and this guy he picked off the road because he looks weird and decided he can solve this mess. fresh does not have any strong personal feelings towards either of them.

i very much so like the comic thing where nightmare and ccino were talking about fresh and ccino thought he was a kitten cat,,, no he is not but he acts like one. “he keeps crawling on my lap” that is a grown man get him away!!!! he has a dog cage i think that he is put in sometimes for naughty behavior. he doesn’t really care because he’s allowed his gameboy though. do you think nightmare ever sprays him with water when he does something bad. and this is like a grown adult. what

maybe i just like the trope of dehumanization (bonus if with someone who’s weirdly chill with it like fresh) but whatever,,, your art!!!! it gives me life!!! i very much enjoy the pixely type style and how freak you draw fresh. he’s a fucking creature he is. something is wrong with that guy. and i love him soooo much. so creature. he’s the kind of guy to do that thing where you walk on all fours up the stairs.

AND the way you characterize him is!!!! so good!!!!!!!!! he is so fucked up and weird and terrible and manipulative!!!!!!! he takes advantage of others’ empathy and feelings because he has very little of it himself and whenever he does feel it he does not like it!!!!!!! he looks at a guy with a savior complex and goes yeah i can mentally fuck him up for the next seven months to get something cool i want. he’s just actually terrible and i love him for that.

i also!!! don’t know too much about CB but i feel that fresh’s dynamic with them (him?? i forgor) is very interesting from what i have seen!!!!!! and their shimeji is very cute i still need to download it but i like it a lot :3

OKAY UHHH BYE!!!!! I LIKE UR ART A LOT…… HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!!! 10/10 fresh posting on your blog love him a lot he is my wife (he feels nothing towards me)

THANK YOU!!! I see you mass reblog things sometimes it makes me giggle :-]

I yammer back...

Glad you like the dynamics haha X] Fresh having very little personal feelings about people is fun and interesting to me. As someone who has trouble connecting and low empathy, its nice to depict someone like me. [Guy interacting with people who are a Lot more invested than he is ghghg]

Fresh would only accept being put in the cage because he can teleport out. Anything like that is only for the Aesthetic, which I think Nightmare would still be down for. Shove that thang into some awful little crate, as a treat. [Honestly I think Fresh would like to get in some nice dog crate with a blankie. Small hide / den thing to nap in :-]]

ALSOOOO dehumanization and freak who doesn't mind is my favorite dynamic <333. Fresh doesn't mind because... he isn't a monster? or a human? And he doesn't have a human/monster centric view of the world. Being seen as a human/monster isn't in anyway important to him, because he doesn't seen it as better/worse. He is the way he is, why does it matter?

Its like, I don't think a cat has very strong opinions on the fact it isn't a man. I also think Fresh is incredibly self-centered and when he's on a high point, sees himself as above humans/monsters. Of course he's not seen as human, he's Fresh! he's a sick-nasty parasite! way cooler. [annnddd way cooler that he gets to eat dog-treats. heck yeah!!]

Also I drew up a little thing with CB and Fresh. Its ahh, I like them a lot I just get nervous speaking about them because its suuuch a oc & canon are besttties that it makes me feel a bit cringe... I also get nervous because CB and Fresh have a very, toxic?? friendship.

Fresh is very possessive and strange about it, because this is his Only friend and he has very dysregulated emotions. Not being able to feel positive emotions often makes it so when he does, he gets very odd about it. So its a lot of... trying to keep CB to himself, at the detriment to CB's goals and ambitions. [CB is trying to track his family down, and Fresh uh. knows. where they are. and is not telling him :-)]

I dunno I think Fresh being genuinely friends with someone but also an awful person about it is like, sorely missing from the fandom landscape. He's a bad person but bad people can still form meaningful relationships and!!! I think that should be explored :-]

[They do eventually get somewhere more healthy. As in, Fresh's whole Thing is revealed, a lot of shinanigans happen, CB lives with his family and Fresh and CB reconnect and become friends again, just with like. Fresh trying actively to do "good person things" to make sure CB's family doesn't shoo him off [I ADOREEE good actions for morally ambiguous reasons!!!], and CB with the understanding that his best friend is Kinda a Freak.]

[daynascullys]

just wanted to share some nice therapy thoughts I’ve been thinking about lately.

I’ve been in therapy fairly consistently for ten years now, and have been a practicing therapist for four of them. I always resented the imbalance of feeling like I cared about my therapists more than they cared about me, especially since it was their job to care about me. as people, they didn’t care about me. logically I knew this couldn’t be true, but as someone with many issues in the area of attachment, that logic didn’t always translate to my beliefs.

but Chappell Roan performed “Pink Pony Club” at the Grammys, and the first person I wished I could reach out to was my 8-year-old client who used to request it in our sessions. I think of a 7-year-old I worked with whenever I get takeout from a certain restaurant because he is the reason I tried it in the first place. I see stuffed animals and gravitate toward the cheetahs and cats because I worked with a 4-year-old who loved them and they make me think of her. I think of one of the very first clients I ever worked with when I excitedly show people new things I bought because after a horrible depressive episode, one day she logged in and said “I’m going to do a little haul for you” before excitedly showing me the things she got after managing to get out of bed. whenever I am the red player in Connect 4, I think of the 6-year-old who was the first client I had who wanted to be yellow (and how I learned that multiple kids chose red because red is winning on the box).

it’s true that they didn’t know me the way I came to know them, but they are on my mind often and have become a part of my own story and everyday life. and it’s not my job to care about them anymore, but I do. I care so much and I am always rooting for them.

and if you ever worry about whether or not your therapist cared about you, I hope you think of this post and know that, at least most of the time, yes, we do. I can’t speak for all therapists, there are always exceptions, and this doesn’t excuse any of the bad exceptions. but the majority of the time, it’s not just you. we think about you and we care about you, we just can’t always say it the way we want to.

[voidangxls]

ˋ°•*⁀➷ A Letter? ʚ♡ɞ

╰┈➤ a part of my valentines special!

pairings(s)- harry potter x reader

Summary- One late night an owl appears at your window with a letter, but the letter has no name?

category- fluff

warnings- kissing, 2 uses of y/n, not proofread

word count: 2646

masterlist; valentines special; harry potter masterlist

---------------------------

You couldn’t sleep. You had been lying awake in your bed for a while now and you simply just couldn’t sleep.

The time was only moving further and you have tried everything to help you fall asleep. You’ve tried counting sheep, reading, drinking warm milk, exercising to hopefully wear yourself out but none of it worked.

So here you were lying on your bed and looking up at the ceiling. While you were doing this you couldn’t help but think of a certain someone, Harry Potter.

Yes everyone in Hogwarts thought about him because he was the legend ‘the boy who lived’ but you weren’t thinking of him in vengeance or jealousy, you weren’t thinking of him in admiration. Not just the admiration you held for your favorite singer or your favorite writer but the kind of admiration you held for a friend or someone who was more than just a friend.

Although Harry wasn’t really what you would consider even a friend, the two of you have had plenty of conversations and shared smiles from across the great hall and you guys were even partners in Potions class this year. So the two of you were friendly and talked quite often but you guys never hung out outside of class aside from the silent smiles from across the room or the secret glances you would give him when you thought he wasn’t looking. Little did you know he was doing the same as you.

Breaking you out of your thoughts you hear a tap on your window. Jumping out of bed in fear you look over and relax when you come face to face with a white owl. With furrowed eyebrows you let out a breath and stand up from your bed, opening the window so you could read the owl. “what are you here?” you whisper to the animal as if it would respond, you reach your hand up and gently touch the top of its head and that was when you noticed a note clutched in its mouth.

Your nose scrunches slightly in confusion and the white owl drops the note onto the desk seated at your window then flies away. Your eyes follow the bird retreating form and once its out of eyesight you look down at the letter on your desk.

With a confused expression your hand reaches out and pulls the letter into your hands, tracing the seal of the closed letter with your finger. You didn’t understand why you would be getting letters at this hour and in your bedroom, all letters for students were given in the dining hall during school hours.

Taking one last glance out of the window and spotting nothing you look back down and begin to open the letter.

“ I know I am making it unknown of who I am but forgive me. I do not know why I have decided to do this tonight of all nights seeing as I have harbored these feelings towards you for a while now but here it is. You are the most beautiful, funny, smart and all around perfect person I have ever met and you bring a smile to my face anytime I see yours. I know that you are truly one of the best people I have ever had a pleasure in meeting even if we don’t know each other quite well though I do hope I can learn more someday. That is all for tonight but I surely hope I didn’t wake you, I know it is late and I deeply apologize. ”

sincerely :)

You didn’t know what to do, how to act, or what to think. Sure you have had people hit on your throughout your years of Hogwarts and sure nice things have been said about you but this felt different for some reason. This person seems to truly care for you, see the best in you and that shocks you to your core.

Clutching the letter into your hand you look back out the window one last time but once again come face to face with nothing but the night sky. You put the letter back into the envelope and stash it away in a drawer of your desk, away from the eyes of other people. You then head back to bed, hoping sleep would welcome you quickly.

---------------------------

It was now the next day and you were in the dining hall for breakfast. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking of the letter you received last night, you went to sleep thinking about it and awoke thinking about it, you had gotten ready for the school day while thinking about it and you were most likely going to think about it for the rest of day.

But just like any other day your thoughts also wondered to a certain brunette at the Gryffindor table. In your mind your thoughts started to wonder, ‘what if Harry was the boy who sent you that letter?’

No. That was simply ridiculous! Harry Potter would never write something like that about you, you thought to yourself. What you had on him was just a simple and silly little crush, it would go away soon and you wouldn’t have to deal with it any longer, giving him longing looks without his knowledge.

Later that day it was now time for Potions class. You had just sat down at your desk when Harry, Hermione, and Ron walk in together. Harry of course takes his assigned seat with you while Hermione and Ron go to their assigned seats with each other.

The two of you look over at each other and share smiles. “How are you?” the both of you ask each other at the same time.

Both of you then let out your own laughs at the incident that just happened “so, how are you?” Harry asks you, seemingly genuinely interested

“Im quite alright, just tired. And you?” you respond truthfully. You were tired, you hadn’t gotten much sleep last night.

“I am good, thank you for asking” he responds. Harry then seems to sit up straighter and look at you in what you could only chalk up as concern. “did something keep you awake?” he asks worryingly

You open your potions book then look back at him “Not necessarily, I hadn’t been able to sleep all night but then something strange happened and I stayed awake a little while longer” you respond with a smile. Every time you spoke to Harry you couldn’t help the smile on your face.

“What weird thing happened?” he asks still as straight as a wall

you lean into him and speak quietly “I received a letter”

Harry looks at you although he doesn’t seem quite surprised “oh, thats strange. Did the letter keep you awake?” he stresses slightly

“No, it wasn’t just the letter it was also just a me thing” you respond with a light laugh. Your conversation is then interrupted when Snape heads to the front of the class, announcing that class was starting. Harry gives you a smile that you reciprocate then you both face Professor Snape, listening to the lesson at hand.

Once the class was over before you or Harry could even say goodbyes to each other, Ron and Hermione was dragging him out of the class. As he was being whisker away he turned around to you and waved goodbye. Before he could completely make it out of the classroom you lifted your hand and gently waved back at him, a small smile adoring your face.

You turn around and put your stuff back into your bag but that was when you notice another book that wasn’t yours laying on your desk. Throwing your bag into your shoulder you pick it up and notice that it was Harrys so you speed walk out of the classroom, hoping you could catch him to give him his book that he left.

When you left the classroom you were met with a hallway with no Harry Potter, you sigh and push his book into your bag. You would give it to him during Potions tomorrow.

Later that day you were sat at your desk. Classes were over for today, students have had dinner so you were in your room trying to get some studying in. You reach into your book bag and bring your books out, organizing them just the way you like for studying. When you grab onto Harrys book that he left you suddenly see a movement and a tap on your window, looking up you see the same owl as last night with once again a letter in hand.

You open your window and reach both of your hands out gently, one to grab the letter and the other to pet the bird. Once you grabbed the latter it leaned its head into you then flew away, a smile graces your face when you look down the latter then you close your window back.

Sitting back down in your seat you open the letter to see the same parchment and the same handwriting as last night.

“ once again I apologize if I had kept you awake last night with this letter, it was a random act of thought. Well I’ve always thought of you in that way just never actually thought I would do something about it if you understand what I am saying. I would just like to say today you looked as beautiful as you always do, every time I look at you I cant fight the smile that appears on my face so thank you for that. You can truly be a light in my difficult life and there is no way I could ever repay you for that. “

sincerely :)

You truly didn’t think the mystery persons words could get even better but they did. This was truly the kindest thing anyone had ever said to you and you were undoubtedly honored even if you didn’t know the one behind the letters. The fact that you could act as if some sort of light in someone’s life truly touched you.

You set the letter in front of you with a smile, forcing yourself to focus on your studying at the moment instead of the very lovely letter.

Opening a book you begin to skim through but quickly notice that it wasn’t yours, that must have been the one Harry left in potions. You go to close the book but then you notice something, the handwriting.

Your eyebrows furrow and you lean forward, inspecting the cursive writing on the page. Then a light bulb goes off in your head. No…it couldn’t. Could it?

Your other hand reaches forward and grabs the letter you received from the owl tonight and set it side by side with Harrys handwriting in his book.

They look identical.

They were exactly the same

There was no way that Harry Potter reciprocated your feelings for him but you also couldn’t ignore the obvious signs literally in front of you.

You take a deep breath and close Harrys book, putting it back into your bag. Forgetting about your studying, you then stash away the letter, putting it with the other one inside of your drawer. Leaning your head into your hands you lean against your desk and wonder how you were going to bring up the letters to Harry.

Taking a deep breath you decide on what you were going to do, tomorrow night you would confront Harry on these lovely notes he had written you.

You reach forward and grab a piece of parchment then a pencil and begin writing. Once you had come to completion with your letter you fold it into an envelope and send your owl off. Taking a deep you reach into your closet and begin changing your clothes.

Harrys pov:

I was the only one awake. Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus were all sleeping peacefully, some of them snoring.

I couldn’t sleep for some odd reason, I had just sent a second letter to y/n. If I had truly been the reason for her lack of sleep the night before I felt greatly bad, so I did make sure to apologize in the letter. I didn’t know when or if I was ever going to confess my feeling to her but doing this, writing letters to get the feelings out felt nice. Even though I was able to talk about her to Hermione and Ron it didn’t feel the same as the letters.

My thoughts were interrupted by a tapping on my window. I sit up out of bed and see an owl at my window, with a letter in its mouth. I look around at the guys, seeing then knocked out I get up out of bed and walk over to the window, opening it and greeting the owl. “Hello” I whisper, gently reaching up and grabbing the letter from its beak. Once the letter was in my hands the owl turns around and flies away.

I look down with a confused expression and begin opening the envelope. When I open it I am greeted by a letter with beautiful cursive writing.

“ your identity isn’t much of a secret anymore, I know who you are now. Thank you for the beautiful letters, meet me at the astronomy tower now. “

sincerely <3

I suddenly still once I have read the letter. She knows who I am, she knows it’s me and she wants to see me, she wants to see me right now at that. Was she going to tell me to leave her alone? was she going to tell me she feels the same? was this all some sick joke?

I carefully move around the room, changing my clothes and heading out of the room.

back to 3rd person pov:

You had been waiting in the Astronomy tower for around 5 minutes, while you waited for Harry to hopefully show up you stared out at the view. You then hear the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Turning around you back up as well, hoping that it was Harry coming up with stairs and no one else.

When you see Harrys form reach the top of the steps and enter the astronomy tower you step forward into the moonlight. “Harry” you speak aloud, greeting him

Harrys eyes snap towards you and his posture relaxes “y/n” he responds gently, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets. The two of you walk closer to eachcother and you were about to speak but Harry starts before you. “I am so sorry about the letters, I apologize for my feelings I will leave you alone”

The boys rant is cut off when you let out a laugh. “Harry, what are you talking about?” you giggle, taking another step closer

“uh, wha- um” Harry stutters, looking at you with a perplexed expression and wide eyes.

“I wrote you back because I feel the same” you tell him. A smile on your face and your eyebrows raised. Harrys shocked face arises another giggle out of you

“you feel the same?” Harry speaks quietly, his tone shocked and hopeful

The smile on your face doesn’t differ, still very prominent on your face “I do” you whisper, nodding your head slightly at the same time.

“wow” Harry whispers, a smile appearing on his face as he looks at you. He takes a step closer to you, one hand reaching up to touch the side of your face “is this okay?” he whispers, leaning forward

“yes” you whisper, leaning in and kissing him. Your lips meet in a gentle kiss, exactly what you would expect from Harry. The kiss was gentle and attentive, it was sweet and kind. It wasn’t rushed or forceful, it was just as you expected and it was just as you liked. The kiss was so him and you loved it.

a/n: I acc really liked writing this one!!

[andre-and-cal]

Cal Gabriel and elements of sadism,,

To start off, he’s an eerie teenager. But if you met him for the first time, you probably wouldn’t be able to pinpoint what’s off about him with how cleverly he shields his cunning conduct from those around him.

Further, when he and Andre perpetrated Zero Day, he was visibly entertained by shooting and taking the lives of other students, with taunting and scaring those hiding, and exhibiting no remorse toward the knowledge that he killed people. That he’s a murderer.

He’s never really questioned his borderline bizarre interests. He doesn’t really exhibit self-awareness in that aspect. He’s just kinda… always him, if that makes sense. Gore’s never had much of an effect on him— if any. Essentially, while it’s fun to watch, it gets boring at times… like he doesn’t care about seeing someone’s gross innards, with the cameraman— likely a member of a drug cartel— behind the camera recording their suffering. Seeing a video of a real death is different than witnessing it in real life. But even while perpetrating Zero Day, he’d kind of grown conscious of how his peers’ distress had positive influences on his mood.

And that was when Cal noticed that his classmates, who were attempting to run and hide from his bullets, displayed similar behaviors to rabbits fleeing from a hunter. That realization suddenly dawning on him only fueled him to further go after them, with the intent to leave them bleeding out on the cold floor. He loved seeing his victims try to run, before ultimately dropping to the ground like a wounded animal. It gave him a rush every time he did score a victim as he and Andre shot at the crowd of bolting students. Whenever someone would cower under his pointed carbine, he would smile casually, as if he was going to start small talk like, “Nice day, huh?”, but his smiles never matched those stony eyes of his.

Calvin will go to great lengths to be able to witness Andre writhing beneath him, whether that be due to slight stress, pain, or even helplessness. He knows how stolid and collected Andre usually is, and also how definitely hardheaded and firm his personality can be. So seeing this dude, his comrade who he’s known for nearly six years, become so pleasantly pliant underneath him… Calvin can’t get enough of it. He’s greedy— that’s what he is, always trying to get more out of Andre than the other teen really wants to give.

Cal gets Andre to stay the fuck down by pressing his boot either in between his legs or against his chest. He likes to get Andre hard for him, feeling triumphant over how easily he can influence him and wind him up.

[angelsdean]

hot take maybe but actually i do expect my mom to comfort me and make me an ice cream sundae when i’m sad even when i get to 40 and she’s 70. my grandma does that for her still. it’s not. limiting her. it’s not saying she only has to be my mommy. i have taken care of her too. it’s saying we love each other and want to take care of each other. mary struggling to be able to interact with grown up sam and dean was very very valid and understandable and i love her for it. she also could’ve maybe tried a little more anyway. they could’ve lent on each other. idk.

Yea i've said before that I think it's a bit outrageous the way people seem to think someone stops being a parent once their child reaches adulthood. Maybe it's a cultural thing, I don't know, but the whole idea of "once your kid turns 18 they're out the door and not your problem anymore" is so deeply flawed IMO. But yea I focus more on "debunking" the claim that Dean expects some sort of motherly coddling / babying from Mary because that seems to be the deancrit take I see the most with regards to this arc / the "i'm not just a mom" scene.

But for sure many people seem to have some weird ideas IMO about what it means to be a parent. Like I think you can feel for Mary and understand that parents can and are more than just parents, but also understand that they will never stop BEING a parent either. Their kids will always be their kids. It's why people always say being a parent is a full time job, not something to go into lightly, that you should be sure you actually want kids and understand that having them is a lifelong commitment etc etc. And having kids makes them become your priority, even when you want to be selfish you always have to try to put them first. Obviously that lessens as they grow up but like, if your adult child were injured or had some kind of health issue / challenges as a parent it's still your job to be there for them, to support them, to care for them. That doesn't just end at 18. It's why *I* know that even though I like the idea of kids I probably never will have any because it's so much responsibility and because those kids are always always going to come first, forever! That's kind of part of the parental "contract" IMO. And even when they're adults, a parent should still be the one person in the world your kid can turn to, rely on, seek comfort in.

And I understand these expectations are complicated in this particular narrative by the fact that Mary died young and is not equipped to be a mother to adults. I think that's such a delicious component that I wish they leaned into more. She is grieving her babies. She is allowed to feel those feelings and feel confused and unsure and struggle with accepting this new dynamic with her children. But a big part of Mary's arc in s12, which culminates in 12x22 with "I need you to see me" is that she is the one stuck in the past, needing to accept her reality and "SEE" her children for who they are now. That's what the arc is moving towards, that acceptance. And after s12 we see her and Dean have a better relationship. We see her still getting to be Mary the person AND Mary the "mom." She hunts, she comes and goes, but she's someone Dean can talk to, share a meal with, spend time together. It's what he always wanted most. He tells her in 14x11 that "just knowing you're around, that you're alive has meant everything to me."

Anyways, I won't ramble about all that again because I've made a bunch of posts about it already. But yes, I think it's normal for Dean (and Sam) to want Mary to comfort them, do nice things for them, the way any parent or really a family member in general might do. They are not asking for kisses on their boo-boos and getting tucked into bed with a bedtime story, which is how a lot of deancrit posts read. What they want is some sort of familial reciprocal care. Like the way Dean spends quality time with those he loves. The way he baked a cake for Jack. Cooks for his family. The way he gives people gifts. The way he fixes Cas's truck. The way he calls to check in on people. He doesn't do these things out of some obligation or playing some "role", he does them because he cares. Because he loves his family, and that's just what family does for each other.

Someone in my tags last night said it very well that what Dean really wanted was just, another family member, to spend time with, to share their joys and burdens with. Someone like Bobby, that he could turn to if he needed. Bobby was a parent figure but he wasn't "parenting" them, y'know? He was someone Dean could lean on, but he didn't expect Bobby to shoulder all his burdens. And I think that's what Dean wants most. Just someone he can lean on and rely on, since he's been having to be the strong one for everyone his whole life.

[star-fandoms]

LADS REDESIGNS!! + notes

Note: These are solely for fun, nothing wrong with the original designs and I still plan on drawing their original designs!

I used the Linkon Chibi Report cover because I couldn't be bothered to actually draw them all, my bad LMAO Here's the link to the Love and Deepspace twitter where I got it: https://x.com/Love_Deepspace

THE ART IS NOT MINE, JUST THE REDESIGNS!!(Which even then were highly inspired by the new Valentines cards!)

XAVIER

(His hair is 100% inspired by his "Deluded Fiction card.)

Uh but yeah, as for WHY I decided to go with this design, it has a bit to do with his lore. Please correct me if I get anything wrong, I'm not super aware of everything lore related(Esp not with Xavi's, too focused on Zayne and Caleb :,< )

But Xavier has been traveling for a while, and I think over time he would stop really caring about his appearance, more focused on defeating wanderers and trying to protect the mc.

I also feel like he'd eventually cut his hair again and brush it! So his longer hair is more so an early game thing lol

I also just love the idea of chronic bed head Xavier. Like I imagine his to be a still sleeper, but I think it'd be funny that no matter how still he sleeps, his hair just gets messy again LOL

I just felt like eyebags fit Xavier a lot. I also gave him a mole! I thought his face felt empty without a mole and for some reason I just keep thinking he has one and then I look at him and I'm shocked he doesn't have one LOL But I also think the whole "Your moles are where your lover kissed you most in your past life" soulmate thingy. I think it'd be cute if Daye(one of my mc's. But I think it'd be cute to see moles on where other's mc's kiss Xavier the most!) was a cheek kisser in every timeline.

I think it's like...pretty impossible for Xavier NOT to have a single scar, no matter how good he is right now. I honestly feel that way about most the men(Other then Zayne since he has scars) but like Xavi's a hunter and ur telling me I can't find a single scar on his body?? So I gave him one on his jaw and one on the corner of his mouth! There's multiple more scattered around his body as well!

Speaking of his body, I think he'd have a sleeper build LOL!! Just for those who don't know, a sleeper build is when someone doesn't look strong and doesn't have obvious muscle, but they're strong and the muscle is hidden. I mainly chose this cause of the name LOL

I also gave him heterochromia, I just thought it would look nice LOL

RAFAYEL

I made the tips of his fingers blue, I did think about red and I might try that honestly, but it's because he's a Lemurian. I wanted something kinda subtle to show that(Its not that subtle with Raf though since he's an artist and uses his hands LOL)

I did also give him longer hair and I wanted to keep it fluffy! I might also mess around with a bit more wavy hair! I also made one of his little side bangs just a bit longer for some asymmetry, I wanted to add hair clips but decided against actually drawing it in the end!

I also added a teal streak to his hair. I already like Raf's design so I wasn't really sure what to change, so this just seemed a little fun. I think its like a little artistic streak.

Raf does NOT have muscles, don't even play with me. No matter what the game shows, Raf will always be a little stick that I can pick up.

I also think that Raf might have a few tattoos! Not too many, I think he'd cry getting every tattoo cause it all hurts him. But I also think he would like to see his own body as kind of a canvas(This is also something that I do to myself and others. I love painting on myself and other people) That said I think after a while Raf probably decided against getting anymore tattoos and just doodles and paints on his body, he also likes that he gets to change it up more.

ZAYNE

okay...I prommy I wasn't going to originally give Zayne longer hair. I think the short and clean look suits Zayne and his personality well. But also...I think it's really fun to kind of imagine liking having long hair(A little throwback to "Master of Fate")

Anyways, Zayne with some of his hair tied back is WOOOOO MAMA!! I do wanna play around with a little ponytail too, which is what I think he'd actually do while performing surgeries.

I did give him eyebags as well. Bro works super late sometimes and struggles with nightmares and insomnia, yeah he has eyebags.

I didn't change too much about Zayne honestly. I was thinking about adding glasses permanently but also decided against that. Though I do really like Zayne in glasses so I wanna draw him in them more, I just also hate drawing glasses.

SYLUS

okay...most notably, Sylus has the longest hair! I don't know why but for some reason I always remembered his dragon form having long hair, which it literally doesn't. Anyways, long fluffy mullet Sylus supremacy idk. LOL

^ his hair also has a bit of a red gradient. I didn't want it to be too obvious, but his hair felt a little lacking without it!

Also I gave his arms a dark red gradient, I also think he'd have claws I just didn't draw them. These are also because...half dragon. I know they aren't the hands he had as a dragon, but I wanted them to be more human.

It's so subtle, but I gave him fangs.

I didn't even think about it but I might mess around with slightly pointed ears. a more subtle touch to show he's not human.

I did also think about giving him little horns and wings, but decided against that. I also decided again red streaks on his hair and landed on the gradient instead.

CALEB

Caleb is one of them I'm STICKING with long hair for. He looks so good with a mullet I feel like I belong in a psyche ward.

I gave him little white streaks in his hair, It's supposed to be heat damage but aesthetic from the ✨explosion✨ once again, not really meant to be realistic at all.

Its also so subtle, but I traced one of his pupils with red because I think it'd be even more tragic is Caleb had lost an eye and it got replaced with a mechanic one, like his arm. I think it'd be useful for scanning people and recording their actions too. And I think it'd also be tragic if his vision was warped from this eye, like it doesn't really view properly. I'd have to draw out what I mean eventually cause I don't think I'm making any sense.

i didn't do it but god, him having a little slit in his brow would be so good too, with like a little scar there.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my silly little redesigns! Once again the art I edited belongs to Love and Deepspace!

[dyns33]

Anything goes

I started another Cooper Howard's story and I'll be honest, it's hard for me to complete it, but I'll do my best !

Y/N had become little Janey Howard's babysitter several months after her parents' divorce.

Before that, her father and mother always found time to take care of her when the other was working, or they would entrust her to their governess.

This was no longer possible for Mr. Howard, who had to pay alimony to his ex-wife, while having a lot of trouble getting new roles because of the rumors surrounding him.

It was said that he was close to the Reds, that he was a traitor, even though he was a war hero, and the face of Vault Tech. He would have used this position and his wife's to obtain information and sell it to the Chinese.

Nothing had been proven, but it could explain the breakup, as well as the time it took to find a good babysitter. Many women were afraid to ring Mr. Howard's doorbell, not wanting their reputation to be tarnished, or wondering if the man had other dark secrets that could put them in danger.

There were also those who wanted to get closer to him to get information that they could sell to journalists, or have their names in celebrity magazines.

Y/N didn't care about all that. She needed a second job to pay her rent, she liked children, was discreet, and hadn't really heard about all these stories before Mr. Howard brought them up during their interviews.

Seeing that she didn't understand at all what he was referring to and that she was a trustworthy person, he was ready to give her the job. But first, Janey also had to validate her.

It was love at first sight with this child. Y/N had already babysat, and she had never met a little girl as cute, as lively and as endearing. She only had to say hello and give her her name for Janey to give her the most beautiful smile in the world, asking if she wanted to play with her and her dog, Roosevelt.

"I would need you on Wednesday afternoons, weekends and sometimes for several days but I will let you know in advance. Does that suit you ?"

"Perfect, Mr. Howard."

"Cooper, please. My father was Mr. Howard. Unless it makes you uncomfortable, I would understand. And if someone bothers you… Tell me."

At first, Y/N thought he was talking about his fans, his detractors, the paparazzi. Indeed, there were quickly new rumors, claiming that they were having an affair. Maybe even before the divorce, when they didn't even know each other at the time.

It took several months for Cooper to admit to her that he was mainly talking about the Vault Tech employees. He had signed a confidentiality agreement, in order to have the right to continue seeing his daughter and so he couldn't say anything concrete, but he knew things. They weren't nice.

"They might contact you." he told her while pouring himself a drink, after going to see the little girl who was sleeping peacefully. "To offer you money to find secrets or to ask you to leave. Being able to take care of Janey is another condition, and they are good at scaring away the babysitters."

"I'm sorry, Cooper. Don't worry, I'm staying. You'd be lost without me, and I love Janey."

"She loves you too." he smiled, looking at her with sparkling eyes, placing his hand on hers.

Since the divorce, he saw few people apart from his daughter, Y/N and people linked to the small jobs he managed to find, minor roles or entertainment at birthday parties.

There were still a few more or less loyal friends. One of them was Sebastian Leslie. Of course, he was also afraid of reprisals, but he had already sold his voice for the dubbing of all the Mr. Handys, ensuring him a pretty fortune.

His visits were rare, but he came with gifts for the prettiest girl in the world, and flowers for the most patient person ever.

"Miss Y/N, of course, who deserves all our respect for being in your presence so often and not having lost her mind yet."

"As always, you are hilarious."

"I've heard things, but now that I see you, wonderful Y/N, I know it's impossible. You can do much better."

"Thanks, Seb." Cooper sighed, patting Y/N on the shoulder in apology for the nonsense.

She didn't mind people thinking they were together. First, because people were stupid. And most of all, because she wouldn't have minded if it were true. She liked Cooper.

Sure, he was a little older than her, but he was charming. Funny, smart, kind. When they were all together with Janey, they sometimes did activities that made them seem like a family.

But she wasn't family. His marriage had had a difficult end, he had trouble paying her some months, and if he wasn't completely depressed yet, it was because he didn't want to lose his daughter.

It was a surprise when Mr. Leslie came knocking on her door, urgently asking her to follow him, without really giving an explanation. Sweating, worried, he mumbled incoherent things, when he wasn't yelling at his driver to go faster.

Still unclear, he took her arm to put a pitboy on her. Y/N had already seen them on television, or worn by well-dressed, very important, rich people.

"If you're asked, my dear, you are my adorable niece, my only heiress, with whom I insist on living the renovation of the world."

"… What ?"

"I know you're not an actress, but I hope that hanging out with the best of us has helped you a bit in this area. You'll have to be convincing, even if I'll be talking most of the time."

"Mr. Leslie…"

"Uncle Seb. Or Bastien."

"I don't understand anything at all, you don't…"

"Listen to me." he said very seriously, squeezing her wrist. "We don't have much time. They're going to blow everything up. I know Barb is going to take measures for her daughter, I know it. I can't do anything for Cooper, but he loves you very much, so this, I can do for him. At least the little girl will have someone sane to take care of her afterwards."

"What the hell are you talking about ?! Where are Cooper and Janey ?!"

All his attempts to calm her down seemed in vain, Sebastien ended up giving her a sedative, with the help of his driver. No doubt she was transported to the shelter while she was sleeping, put in a hibernation box next to her "uncle".

A very nice robot sounding like him was the first thing she saw when she woke up.

He cheerfully announced to her that she had been sleeping for over 200 years, that her uncle had unfortunately passed away, having woken up long before her, but having left a message for her.

"My dear niece, thank you for your patience and your trust. We always hear funny and stupid things these days, like the fact that I can no longer offer you flowers. But they are growing outside, I hear. And a little girl is waiting somewhere. There are fewer eyes when it's dark."

The message wasn't hard to decode. An apology, first, but mostly the assertion that it was possible to get out of the shelter without too much danger, if she waited for the right moment. Apparently, Janey Howard hadn't been placed in Vault 93.

Getting out wasn't that complicated. In fact, Y/N didn't even have to play the secret agent, she asked Mr. Handy, who passed her request to the overseer, who accepted it without resistance. She was able to take food, clothes and a weapon, before leaving, receiving encouragement from everyone, even if they didn't see who she was at all.

In any case, she was one less mouth to feed.

The real problem was surviving outside, and finding Janey. Y/N was not a fighter. She understood that there had been nuclear explosions, that the world was destroyed, now populated by dangerous creatures and unbalanced survivors.

But there were still good people. A woman showed her the way to Los Angeles, or what was left of it. A man advised her to avoid the North, explaining to her what the Raiders and the Deathclaws were.

And a strange couple offered to accompany them, to prevent her from being killed in her sleep or because of the mines.

Well, the young woman offered, smiling and polite, dressed like the inhabitants of the shelter and wearing a pitboy. She seemed genuinely delighted to meet someone like her, murmuring that it would be a change from her grumpy friend.

The said companion clearly did not come from a shelter. The radiation had dug into his skin. Y/N had heard of them, these ghouls. This one wasn't very talkative, his face half hidden by a cowboy hat, staring at her with a strange, almost shocked look.

"Don't pay attention to him, he's not good with people." said the girl whose name was Lucy. "I don't even know his name. We had a rough start, but he's calm now. We're a team !"

"Oh. Okay. Nice to meet you."

Lucy shook her hand. The Ghoul continued to look at her without saying anything, before continuing on his way. For the girl, it was a good sign, he hadn't ordered her to leave or caught her with his lasso.

Since things had changed, Y/N accepted that this could indeed be good news, but she followed them mostly because she didn't really have a choice.

[p5-apotelesma]

SPEAKING OF RYUJI ive been thinking of adding his own crashout to the okumura arc at the same time as mona. because drama.

like. i know. i know everybody collectively goes UUHHHHGGGG during this part and i get why. i totally get it. its frustrating cause you just wanna shake the characters and tell them to talk to each other. (and i think a lot of people are frustrated by it because they just Dont like morgana and think hes annoying. none of that here)

not to mention how it overshadowed harus intro arc (which is also why im still debating it) but i feel like this could be remedied by. introducing haru earlier. we meet goro in june and he doesnt join the team til november. no reason we cant set haru up early too.

is this behavior in character for morgana? yeah id say so. could it have been written more smoothly? very yeah. listen i could go on about morgana and why this crashout of his Works with his arc and why characters like him are so squeezy toy to my brain BUT. later. ryuji time

i know ryuji isnt really the kind of kid to hold grudges. every time someone he cares about is angry with him, he thinks its more or less acceptable if they take it out on him. its just all he knows (but its not really okay!) but hes gone through the grueling psychological trauma of an awakening and. the truth of the matter is. kamoshida isnt the only person who he should tell to stop looking down on him

morgana does it all the time. and its rare i hear any objections from the gang other than a “will both of you knock it off” as if ryuji isnt outright being provoked. and yeah you could say this is just how they are. ryuji is a teenager and morgana is like two. communication blunders of the ages. ect.

and i do think this is part of it. some people have friendships full of teasing and ribbing on each other. but they Lead with Nice. you have to like. treat someone with enough kindness to warrant being able to playfully dig at them as a friend and morgana.

hasnt? sure theyre able to rely on each other as team mates but mona is just needlessly a little bitch. a lot.

i think the two do genuinely care about each other. that they can act like friends and they are friends. but. consider. its not enough that morgana has to stop being mean. morgana should have to be nice.

because when mona says “ryuji you idiot” or “you dumb monkey” or “youre pathetic” ryuji does, in fact, Not hear “ryuji i know you can do better” its literally just words hes endured for years at this point. and again!! i dont think mona has treated him nice enough to reach bullying privileges!

morgana has set the tone for pretty much every interaction he has with ryuji and the kid is just meeting him where hes at. which is why ryuji so easily calls morgana useless and thinks nothing of it. i mean (gestures to everything morgana says to him that the gang regards as normal and fine)

and the gang needs to object a lot more loudly to the ryuji slander. but they dont. and i think ryuji should have his own crashout moment because hes sick of morgana dragging him and no one really saying anything. they should have to have this moment where theyre like. aw fuck have we been bad friends? shit

and also realize that. them enabling mona to bully ryuji does not exist in a vacuum. it has consequences. and has in part fostered the dynamic that has ryuji so easily insulting mona. which leads to the cat running off in the first place

[samanthacastano02]

Felix - Perfect

Felix x FemReader 

Trigger warnings: Abuse (Physical and verbal abuse from Hyunjin), fighting, tooth-rotting fluff, inaccurate medical terminology, Felix being a sweetheart and most supportive person ever, starts off as Hyunjin x FemReader ends as Felix x FemReader, mentions of break up, insecurity, probably more (This is fictional and not how I believe Hyunjin or any of the members would ever act towards someone they love)

Word Count: 10.1K

Summary: You had been dating Hyunjin for almost two years when he had asked you to join him at an event for Versace. You were excited to join him but also nervous because this would be the first time that you would be going to an event like this. You get into a fight, a fight that opens your eyes about your relationship with Hyunjin, so you leave. You call Felix for help and he becomes your rock and safe place during everything. 

Photos are not mine, Credits go to photographers

I had been dating Hyunjin for close to two years, he was my first serious relationship and I didn’t know how I was supposed to be treated. I thought that the way he was treating me was the way someone who loved you treated you, not realizing that wasn’t the case. 

Present:

I loved Hyunjin with everything that I had, and when he said that he was finally ready to announce our relationship to the public I was over the moon because it had been a year and a half of secret dates, secret outings and hiding it from everyone including his other members. I didn’t think much of it because he was an idol and maybe he wanted to keep this part of his life separate for some time so that it was his rather than something that he had to share with everyone. I didn’t enjoy having to sneak around but I did it for him because I loved him and I didn’t want to ruin my chances with him just because of the fact that he wanted to keep the relationship secret. When the boys finally met me, they welcomed me with open arms and treated me as if I had been friends with them the entire time. The only person who seemed to be a little standoffish and hesitant to be friends was Felix, he was always nice and held conversations when required but he always seemed to isolate himself when Hyunjin and I were hanging out with the boys together. I could never pinpoint why he acted this way, but also didn’t question it because Hyunjin never liked it when I spent one on one time with any of the boys, even Chan who saw me as an annoying younger sister.

It was a few weeks before Hyunjin had to go to Milan’s fashion week, as Versace’s ambassador. I knew that he was excited to go because it was all that he could talk about, and the preparations for it had been taking up most of his time, leaving me to busy myself with work and different things around the apartment that we shared. I was beyond proud of him because he had worked so hard for this and he deserved to have this moment. I didn’t want to bring him down by mentioning the fact that I missed him. When he came home late, I didn’t question him, when he came home smelling of different perfume I didn’t question him because I assumed that it had something to do with the fashion week and if he wanted me to know he would tell me. It was a little before midnight when he finally came home tonight, looking worn out and ready to take a very long nap. 

“Hi lovie, how were your meetings? Everything almost ready for Milan Fashion Week?” I ask, as I follow him into the bedroom, crawling into bed while I wait for him to change and go through his skin care routine. 

“They were good, longer than I thought they would be. I also managed to secure another ticket and want you to be my plus one.” he says finally coming back into the bedroom.

“You want me to come with? Are you sure?” “Of course, I want to share this part of my life with you.” He says, if I wasn’t as tired as I was I would have noticed the hint of annoyance in his voice. 

“I’d love to join you, but I don’t have anything that I could wear.” “Love, I have an appointment set for you to get a dress from the Versace store here in town.” “Hyunjinnie, that’s so expensive though.”

“If you are going with me, you need to represent Versace along with me” He grumbles out, sliding further down into the bed.

“I can’t even afford something small from there, let alone a dress. Jinnie, I don’t want you to spend that much money on me.” “If it’s that big of a deal I’m sure we can get it as a loaner dress and when we get back from the event we can bring it back to the store. Now can we please go to bed, it’s been a long day and I’m tired.”

“Right, of course. Sleep well Jinnie.” I lean over, gently kissing his cheek. 

It was only a few days later that I was walking into the Versace store and feeling very much out of my element. I wasn’t used to this high end of a store, so trying to figure out where I needed to go and what all I needed in order to get the dress. Thankfully the attendants were super sweet and understanding about the fact that this was the first event I was ever going to of this caliber and gave me tips to help not be as nervous. With the dress finally picked out, they assured me that it would be sent to Milan and be waiting for me in the hotel room when I got there, I didn’t have to worry about it at all. I was extremely thankful for that, it was one less thing that I needed to worry about. 

With Milan Fashion Week quickly approaching, Hyunjin seemed to be around the house even less than he was before. I didn’t want to think too much of it but it was hard when I barely received a text from him letting me know if he was even going to be home that night or if he was going to be spending it at the dorms with Changbin. My only saving grace was being able to talk to Han. Han had become a close friend of mine even though Hyunjin didn’t know. There was nothing going on between us, and there never would, but Han could tell when I was anxious and knew that I needed someone on my side that wasn’t Hyunjin. Because as he put it, Hyunjin hadn’t been doing very good at his boyfriend duties and was being neglectful of how I was feeling and of my anxiety. We had bonded over the fact that we both deal with anxiety and don’t always want to tell someone else in the fear of becoming a burden to them. I had received a text from Hyunjin early today that he wouldn’t be home tonight, he would be staying with Changbin since they all had an early morning. I tried to not be upset about it but I still couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I knew that if I didn’t talk to someone I would send myself into a panic, so I did the only thing I could think of and called Han, hoping that he would come over and keep me company. When I called, he picked up on the second ring, a cute habit of his.

“Hannie, Jinnie is staying with Changbin tonight and I really don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m too much in my head, can you please come over?” I almost begged the poor man. 

“Y/nnie, calm down please. Of course I’ll come over, how could I ever turn down a hangout session with my favorite person?”

“Han, my dear dear friend. We both know that I am not your favorite person, Minho is your favorite person.” “Ok, correction. Second favorite person, because yeah, if we’re honest he’s my favorite.”

“Glad to see where I stand in your life Hannie.” “Girl, do you want me to come over or not?”

“Yes! Please!” “I’ll be over soon then, will you make up the spare room for me? We both know that I won’t have the energy to go home and we also know that Minho Hyung won’t be coming to get me.” “Yes, I’ll make up the spare room for you.”

He doesn’t even say goodbye, just hangs up the phone. I know that he lives close by, all of the boys do, which confused me on why Hyunjin wouldn’t take the extra five or so minutes to come back to the apartment. But I won’t question him on it because all that’ll do is lead to a fight. The movie night with Han was something that was very much needed, and when he had to leave the next morning the apartment felt so much more lifeless. I knew that if Hyunjin knew Han was here, he’d be upset but I also didn’t want to be alone so I risked him being upset. 

Later that night:

When Hyunjin came home that night from practice, I could tell that he was agitated. He barely spoke to me and when he did his answers were short and snappy, I didn’t want to pry but I also wanted to help him if I was able to. It was too late when I realized that I had forgotten to make up the bed after washing the sheets, after Han spent the night. I knew that the moment Hyunjin saw that, he would ask questions and there was no way that I would be able to give him a reasonable explanation without revealing the full truth to him. 

“Hey, y/n. Why are the sheets not on the bed in the guest bedroom?” Hyunjin called out to me from the hallway while I was in the kitchen making dinner for the two of us. 

“Huh? Oh I was washing them, they were dusty.” “Y/n, you know not to lie to me. Now tell me why you are actually washing them.” “Fine. Han was over last night, by the time our movie ended it was too late for him to drive home and we weren’t about to wake the beast who is Minho.”

“You know I don’t like when you spend time with them one on one.” He angrily stomps over to me, I expect him to just corner me but instead he grabs me by my pony tail, pulling me away from the stove where I was cooking.

“Ahh, Hyunjin. That hurts. Stop.” I try to pry his hand out of my hair but it doesn’t work. 

“You went against what I asked. You know I don’t like you being alone with the guys, I don’t want them getting too close.” He gets in my face, pulling my head back so that I am forced to look at him.

“I-I’m sorry Hyunjin, it won't happen again.” “It better not, or the next time I won’t go easy on you.” He growls out, shoving my head away, causing me to fall into the stove. I try to catch myself but end up grabbing onto the hot pan, burning my hand. The contents in the pan fling out and land all over me, burning my skin through my clothes.

“O-oh god. Y/n I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, are you ok?” Hyunjin’s whole personality changes when he notices what had just occurred.

“I-I’m ok. I-I just need to get myself cleaned up and check the burns and make sure that I don’t need to go to the hospital.” I respond after taking a couple deep breaths. 

“Y-you think that you might need to go to the hospital?”

“For my hand possibly.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Jinnie, I just need to have a few minutes to myself.” “I’m really sorry Jagi.” He tries to hug me, but I shrink back from him, I can see the regret in his eyes. 

I’m unable to respond, instead holding my hand to my chest as I walk into our bedroom. When I look at my hand I can tell that I have second degree burns and will need to go to the ER. I don’t have a car and I don’t want to ask Hyunjin. I know he feels bad, but I don’t want him to go to the ER with me because it means that they might ask questions and I can’t answer those right now. The only person I can think of to call right now to come and get me is Chan, I know he’ll ask questions but not until everything is figured out. I just need to figure out how to tell Hyunjin that I want to go by myself. I think the best way is to just straight up say that I want to go alone, and that I will let him know when I am coming home. I call Chan knowing that he’ll help, he picks up after the first ring. Only issue was that it wasn’t Chan who answered, it was Felix.

“Y/n? Chan left his phone here, he ran to the store. Do you need something?” “I um, never mind.” I was going to tell him but decided not to. 

“I know that I’m not Chan and we don’t normally talk but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” “I was just hoping that he could take me to the hospital.”

“The hospital! Are you ok?”

“I burnt my hand while cooking, and it’s bad enough that I need medical attention.” “I don’t know when he’ll be back, but I can come get you and take you. Why can’t Hyunjin take you though?” “He’s wiped from practice, and I don’t want to make things worse for him. It’s ok Felix, I’ll figure out a way to get to the hospital.” “Nonsense, I’ll come get you. No questions asked.”

Thankfully, I am able to convince Hyunjin to let me go by myself. I tell him a white lie and tell him that it’s Chan picking me up, not Felix. I know if he knew that it was Felix, he would never let me leave. Felix must have known better than to come up to the door, instead texting that he was here and letting me come down to the car. When I get to the hospital, he waits in the car, not wanting to cause even more trouble for me. I can see the concern in his eyes when I walk out of the ER and he sees the bandage on my hand, thankfully the doctor seemed to buy my excuse that I fell and burnt my hand that way. The doctor let me know that the bandages could come off before the fashion show, so the dress that I got would still work. I know Felix is worried but he doesn’t press the issue, but I know that whatever friendship or whatever we had has changed between us. 

Fashion Week:

The week before Hyunjin and I left for Milan, my bandages were able to come off. I knew that he felt bad, he had never gotten physical with me before and the logical part of me knew that I should have left him but the emotional part of me said that he’d never do it again. Ever since he’s been super sweet and caring, spending every night at the apartment with me, being at my every beck and call. 

The first night that we were in Milan, he took me out to dinner and treated me as if I was his whole world. He apologized every morning and night for what happened, I believe that he’s sorry and I believe that he won't do it again. He loves me and I love him, I know that we’ll be able to make things work, I know he won’t let it happen again. 

The night that we have the event, I am afraid that I’ll embarrass him because I won’t look as good as I should for him. I tried to make sure that my outfit matched his outfit, but it still seemed off. He seemed to be off the entire day while we were getting ready, he seemed short with me, almost annoyed that I was having to go with him. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to take me with him, I didn’t want to embarrass him or make this event even harder for him. Before I knew it, we were having to finish getting ready and leave soon. 

“Jinnie, do you think my dress looks ok? Does it match your outfit well enough?” I ask as I apply the finishing touches to my makeup.

“Yes, you look fine. We need to go if we don’t want to show up late.” He grumbled annoyed.

“I’m almost ready, I just need to apply lipstick and then I’ll be ready.” “Just hurry up.” 

“Ok, I’m ready lovie.” 

“Ew, don’t call me that.” he side eyes me, seemingly disgusted.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry. In the past you never cared.” “Just, try not to talk too much tonight.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead I just rushed to catch up with him and head to the venue where the show would be held and then the after party. Much to my horror when Hyunjin and I arrived at the venue, I was ushered away from him, told that I would be sitting separately from him and that I would have to find him after the show. When he invited me I thought that we would be seated together for all of the events but I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I looked to him for support, to ask him if I really had to sit alone without him, the glare that he leveled me with was one that I could never have imagined I would get from him. 

“Y/n, just sit where they tell you, stop trying to make a big deal out of nothing.” “Hyunjin, it’s a big deal to me. I’m in a country that I don’t know, at an event filled with people that I don’t know. I was under the assumption that I would be with you tonight, not sat away from you.”

“Stop it, stop whining about not getting to sit with me. You’re a big girl, put on your big girl pants and deal with sitting alone. Do not embarrass me tonight, I need tonight to go well.” “I’m not trying to embarrass you Hyunjin, but would it be so hard to ask them if we could get seats together? I don’t see why we can’t?” “Stop asking, they already have the seating arrangements set. I will see you at the after party, in the meantime try not to embarrass me.”

“Hyunjin-” I begin but he cuts me off with a glare, one that sends a cold chill down my spine. It reminds me of that night, for once I know to listen to my gut. 

With him being sat away from me, I know that he’ll be more focused on the show rather than worrying about me. With how he looked at me tonight, I know that I need to leave because it wasn’t a one time incident and him hurting me was bound to happen again. I found my seat, in the back of the open showroom, which thankfully gave me the opportunity to order myself an uber and get myself back to the hotel. I didn’t know where I was going to go when I got back to Soule because technically the apartment that I lived in wasn’t mine, it was one rented by Hyunjin that he had gotten for the both of us because he wanted us to live together. I knew that I shouldn’t have given up my apartment but I was so in love with him that I thought he was my forever and that I wouldn’t need it anymore. 

When my uber arrived, I quickly and quietly snuck out of the venue and as soon as it was clear I ran to the uber. The uber driver gives me a questioning look but I don’t offer up any explanation and instead book a plane ticket home, I want to be gone to the airport by the time Hyunjin comes back to the hotel. I’d prefer to be on a plane back but I also know that isn’t reasonable and is wishful thinking. I know that me leaving the event like I did can cause a scandal for Hyunjin but I can’t stay and let this relationship get even more toxic, it took me this long to realize the only reason he was even being this sweet to me after the whole incident was so that I would come with him when it came time to go to the event. He had said that he was going to have a date and he didn’t want to seem dateless when the time came around. 

I panicked when I got to the hotel, packing up everything that I had brought with me and bought the earliest ticket home. Not caring which airline it was with, what section of the plane it was in and what time I would be getting back, I just knew that I needed to be gone before he got back otherwise I could actually be in serious danger. I didn’t want to worry Chan by off-loading all of my issues onto him, but I also had nowhere to stay. I didn’t know what to do, I had never been in this situation before. I did the only thing that I could think of, I called Felix, surprisingly he picked up after the first ring. 

“Y/n? Are you ok?”

“No, I’m not. I’m flying back to Soule tonight but I need someone to pick me up from the airport. And then for that someone to help me find a hotel.” “Aren’t you supposed to be in Milan with Hyunjin for another week?” “It’s a lot to explain, I promise I can explain it all later but will you please pick me up?”

“Yeah of course, that shouldn’t have even been a question. I know we don’t talk much but I’ll always be here for you if you need me.” “Thank you Felix, you are a lifesaver right now. Now I just need to figure out a living situation.” “Don’t worry about that, you can stay with Seungmin and I or with Chan and I.N.” “Are you sure? I really don’t want to impose on anyone and I don’t want to cause any problems between the group and Hyunjin.”

“We all know how to be professional, whatever happened between you and Hyunjin is between the two of you. If you want us to know, then we will but if you don’t then we won't.” “Thank you, for being so understanding about all of this.”

“Of course, text me your flight details and I’ll be there to pick you up, ok?” “Ok, again thank you Felix.”

With everything set, I know that Felix and the rest of the boys will help me in any way that they can, I really don’t want to come between them and Hyunjin but I can’t help it if they decide to do this on their own. I don’t even want to think about what will happen when Hyunjin realizes that I’m no longer at the event, hell even in the country. 

The next morning:

The flight back to Soule gave me the chance to think through things and figure out what I needed to do. I didn’t want to take advantage of the boys but I also couldn’t afford to stay at a hotel for very long, and finding a new place to live would be difficult, especially with the fact that I don’t make that much at my current job. I always wanted to find another job but Hyunjin never wanted me to because I only worked with women. The more I look back on our relationship, the more I realize that it was actually extremely unhealthy and the only reason that he even introduced me to the guys is because Chan accidentally caught us on a date, and when he had asked who I was I had answered before Hyunjin could. Hyunjin never had the intention of telling the guys about our relationship, his hand was forced in the whole matter. 

When I finally landed I called Felix, figuring out where he was in the airport but before I could even ask, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around he was there. He was there, with a soft smile, looking like the sunshine person that everyone always describes him as. I didn’t think I would feel as much relief as I did when I saw him, but I could feel the tears forming and I didn’t know if I would be able to stop them before they fell. Felix didn’t give me the chance to, he gently pulled me into a hug. I didn’t know how badly I needed that hug until I was wrapping my arms around his waist, sobbing quietly into his chest. He tightened his arms around me, not letting go until he felt my arms drop from around him. 

“Are you ready to head out?” Felix asks, taking my backpack from me.

“Yes, but I need to go to the apartment. I need to get my stuff out, I don’t want to risk trying to get it at a later date and then he be there.”

“Ok, I’ll take you. I’ll help you pack up your stuff, will you tell me what happened? Why you left Milan so suddenly?”

“Y-yes, I’ll tell you in the car. If that’s ok?”

“Of course that’s ok.”

We head to baggage claim and grab my suitcase, I try to take it from Felix after he had pulled it off for me but he doesn’t let me. He doesn’t let me carry my backpack and he won’t let me drag my suitcase, he kindly forces me to walk next to him. When Hyunjin and I came, he had people who were carrying his stuff, he didn’t even offer to carry my stuff. The more I look at Felix, the more I focus on him, the more I notice these little differences between the two men. A guilty part of me wonders why I couldn’t have met Felix first. When I had first met Hyunjin, he was so sweet and caring, we had shared an art class together and had bonded over the fact that we both loved art. The first year of our relationship was perfect, but after we had moved in together and he realized that I more than likely wouldn’t go anywhere, his whole demeanor and personality changed. No longer was he the sweet and caring guy, but an angry and anxious man who ended up taking those feelings out on me more often than not. No matter how hard I tried to be good for him, he always found a reason to be upset with me. It wasn’t until the cooking incident that he had gotten physical with me, but he was very verbally abusive towards me and would be passive aggressive towards me like he was last night. When we got to the car, I went to open my own door but before I could Felix was there, pulling it open for me, giving me a hand in case I needed help lowering myself into his car. Once I was in, he quickly rushed around to the other side, getting in himself and before I knew it, we were starting the drive back to the apartment that I once shared with Hyunjin.

“Are you ok, to tell me what happened? Why you came back so soon?” “Yes, just promise that you’ll wait until I finish explaining?”

“Of course, take your time.”

“Thank you, seriously.” “Any time y/n, any time.” “It wasn’t a cooking incident.”

“What wasn’t?”

“How I burned my hand, I didn’t burn it because I slipped. I did burn it while cooking but slipping was not the reason why.”

“Ok?”

“Hyunjin had come home angry that night, I don’t remember why exactly. I don’t remember if something had gone wrong at the studio or if I had said something but we started arguing, and I expected him to corner me like he normally did. But he grabbed my hair, yanking it back. He was super angry and it scared me, I tried to pry him off but he wouldn’t let go. Finally he got tired of arguing and he shoved me, but it happened to be in the direction of the stove. I tried to catch myself but I ended up grabbing the pan I had been using and it tipped over, spilling on me. That’s why I had such a bad burn on my hand, and burns on other parts of my body.” When I finished with that part, I could tell that Felix was angry but he did his best to contain the anger. 

“Y/n, is this the first time that he was physical with you?” “Yes, it was. He had been verbally abusive for the better part of six months but I had rose colored glasses on.”

“Did he hurt you again? Is that why you came back early?”

“Not physically, he failed to mention that during the fashion show I wouldn’t be seated with him. And when I had asked if we could try to get me to sit next to him, he told me that I was being difficult and that I was embarrassing him. He told me to sit where I was told to and that he would see me at the after party.” “He seriously did that? Just left you to sit by yourself?”

“Yep, said that I was a big girl and could handle sitting by myself for the length of the show. When I tried to argue with him about it, he leveled me with a glare that actually scared me, made me nervous to even wait to see him during the after party.” “I don’t want to speak badly of him but it seems like you made the right choice in leaving, after what you told me, the whole situation seems like a bad situation.” “I think things could have gone very differently if I stayed, he knows by now that I’m gone. I’m honestly surprised that I didn’t get any texts from him after the show asking where I was. But maybe he was too preoccupied to even worry about where I was.” “Y/n, that is wrong on so many levels. If my date wasn’t sat with me at an event and then I couldn’t find her after, I would be losing my mind until I found her. Has he even texted you, asking where you are when he saw that you weren’t at the hotel and that your stuff was gone?” “Umm, I think he’s texted me like once.” “What did the text say, if you don’t mind me asking?” “Just wondering where I was, when I was coming back. It’s like he didn’t even realize that my stuff was gone.” “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this y/n, you don’t deserve it.” “It’s ok Felix, none of this is your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for.” “But I actually do. I was the one who pushed him to go to that art class, I was the one who pushed him to ask you out when he was too nervous to do so.” “Lixie, you had no way of knowing that any of this would have happened.” It’s not until he doesn’t respond that I realize what I had just called him. “Oh my god, Felix. I am so sorry. The nickname just kind of slipped out.” “Y/n, it’s ok. It just caught me off guard, I don’t mind if you call me that. Coming from you, I actually kind of like it.” “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The rest of the drive to the apartment is silent, both of us thinking but also just enjoying the music. As I look out the window, I can’t help but think about how different my life is from what I thought it was going to be just a few days ago. As I think about it, this is the first time in a long time that I’m not nervous about going back to the apartment. The realization that it’s because Hyunjin won’t be there hits me, I didn’t realize how much he scared me until I took that leap to end things with him, to leave him. The thought also hits me that I haven’t actually officially ended my relationship with him, I’m technically still his girlfriend until I officially end things. Just because I ran doesn’t mean he’ll take that as I’m breaking up with him. I can’t do it in person, I won’t be able to handle it, I’m too nervous about what he might try if I did do it in person. 

I’m too into my head to realize that we had arrived at the apartment until Felix is calling out my name, trying to get my attention. I don’t know what to think of all of this, and I think that Felix is able to tell that. He doesn’t try to rush me into going inside, instead he just sits there, a supportive spirit until I’m ready to go inside. 

“Ok, I think that I’m ready.” “Take your time.” “Thank you Felix, I truly do not know what I would have done without your help.” “I want to warn you, Seungmin and Chan are on their way to help. They don’t know why, they won’t know why unless you tell them.”

“Felix…”

“I just wanted to make sure that we are able to get all of your stuff. The more hands the better. When I called, I told them to help, no questions asked. What information they get is up to you.” “You promise they won’t ask any questions?” “I promise, and if they for some reason do. Send them to me.”

“Ok.”

We both get out of the car, I try to open my own door again but he rushes around opening it before I get the chance. He has a steady hand on my lower back, walking with me up to the apartment. When we get up to the apartment, I hesitate almost as if I’m not ready to take this step, ready to say goodbye to this part of my life. 

“We don’t have to do this tonight if you aren’t ready.”

“No, no. I need to do this, I can’t risk Hyunjin being home.”

“Do you want me to open the door?” “Do you mind?” “Not at all.”

He takes the key from my hand, unlocking the door and pushing it open. I never realized how lifeless and cold the apartment always felt. There were no personal touches from myself in the living room, Hyunjin always insisted that his interior decor taste was better than mine and that I could decorate the bedroom. That didn’t leave me much to do anyways, I think now it had more to do with when the guys initially came over, he didn’t want them to realize he had a girlfriend. Most of my belongings were in the bedroom anyways, everything else I owned from my old apartment was in a storage unit that Hyunjin didn’t know about, he thought that I had sold whatever couldn’t fit into the bedroom on my side. 

Soon Chan and Seungmin arrive, ready to help in whatever way they could. They didn’t ask any questions, which I was extremely thankful for. I really didn’t want to have to tell the whole story twice, I knew they had their questions but I didn’t know how to tell them. I knew that if I gave Felix the ok, he would tell them. 

“Felix, come here real quick. Please?” “Yeah. What’s up?” He stops folding some of the shirts I had left hung up in the closet.

“I know that Chan and Seungmin have questions. I can’t go through the story again, but if they are helping they deserve to know why. You can tell them.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.”

“Alright, I’ll let them know.”

He walks away after giving me a soft smile, I go back into the bedroom and continue to put my clothes into my suitcases. I can hear Felix explaining the whole situation to them, they don’t ask any questions until he is finished explaining everything. I try to zone out what they are saying, not wanting to think about everything that has happened, again. I’m so in my head that I don’t hear anyone enter the bedroom, so when I feel arms wrap around me I jump in both parts shock and fear. When I turn around I see that it’s Chan, he has a sad look on his face and seeing that look makes me break out into tears. He wraps me in his arms, and with his support I know that with whatever happens I’ll be ok. I know that I not only have Felix on my side but I also have Chan, and maybe Seungmin but he hasn’t actually said anything. Before I can ask where Seungmin is, I hear a small knock on my door, when Chan and I turn we both see that Seungmin is standing there looking sheepish. I wave him over, he slowly walks over. I can tell that he’s hesitant to do anything so I make the decision for him and give him a quick hug, he eagerly returns the hug. 

Back at Felix and Seungmin’s Dorm:

With the help of the three boys, we were able to pack up everything that I could think of that I owned that was in that apartment. I didn’t know why they brought me here after I insisted that they take me to a hotel. Felix refused, saying that they weren’t going to let me stay at a hotel. They would rather I stay at the dorms with them where they knew I was safe and wouldn’t have to worry about me confronting Hyunjin alone should he come looking for me. 

I had no idea where I would be sleeping while I stayed with them, since there were only two rooms, meaning there were only two beds. When I got there, trying to figure out where to put my stuff went surprisingly better than I thought because Felix just carried it all into his room, taking away the question of where I would sleep. I didn’t want to kick him out of his own bed but he insisted that I take his bed, he’d either take the couch or find a blow up mattress of sorts. 

“Felix, I really don’t want to kick you out of your bed.” “Nonsense, you wouldn’t be kicking me out. Especially since I offered.” “Felix, I can just sleep on the couch. It’s fine.” “Nonsense. You are not sleeping on the couch.”

Seungmin walks into the room carrying a sleeping mattress for Felix. He doesn’t say anything as he hands it over, I can tell that he’s tired and ready to go to bed himself. Felix bids Seungmin goodnight before turning back towards me. I can tell that Felix is also tired but he wants to make sure that I am comfortable before going to bed himself. 

“Felix, I know you have the mattress. But where will you be sleeping?” “I was just planning on sleeping in the living room.” “I can’t kick you out of your bed and your room. And if I’m being honest I’d be more comfortable with you in the room. I don’t think that Hyunjin will be back anytime soon but a part of me is scared that he will be and I don’t want to be trapped in a room by myself.” “Y/n, you don’t owe an explanation. Of course I can stay in here on the floor. I want you to be as comfortable as possible while you are staying here, ok?” “Ok, again thank you Felix. I know that this is a lot to ask of you.” “It’s never too much to ask of me, I’d gladly help you.”

I can’t think of anything to say to him so I just walk up to him, instead giving him a hug. He immediately hugs me back, wrapping his arms tightly around me and pushing my head into him, trying his best to bring me comfort. Whenever I was upset, Hyunjin always made it seem like it was a burden to comfort me, to be there for me but here’s Felix, someone who barely knows me, who’s doing everything he can to make sure that I am comforted and supported even when he doesn’t need to. 

Two Weeks Later:

I had been living with Felix and Seungmin now for two weeks. Hyunjin was supposed to be coming back within the next few days. I was scared that he was going to be angry, but I had barely heard anything from him while he was away and if I’m being honest that scared me even more. I didn’t know what he was thinking, how he was feeling, or if he would try anything when he saw that all of my things were out of the apartment. 

I was trying to take a nap, when I realized that I had left one very important thing at the apartment that I once shared with Hyunjin. It was small and might seem insignificant to others but to me it was irreplaceable because it was given to me by a family member that was no longer living. I knew that I needed to get it but all of the boys were busy and I didn’t want to bother them. I didn’t think that Hyunjin would be back until tomorrow or the next day at least. 

When I got there, I could tell that I was wrong, Hyunjin had come home early. I knew that I should have turned around and waited until either Seugnmin, Chan or Felix were available to come with me to get the stuffed animal but I was impatient and didn’t want to wait. I slowly pushed open the front door, finding Hyunjin bent over the kitchen counter reading the breakup note that I had left for him. I could tell by the way that his posture stiffened that he realized what it was and what had happened. When he heard the front door close softly he whipped around, the glare and anger in his eyes made my heart drop. I tried to turn around and leave but before I could, he was grabbing me by the hair and dragging me further into the apartment.

Hyunjin angrily threw me onto the couch, I tried to catch myself but wasn’t able to and ended up falling onto the floor. I tried to scramble away from him but he was on top of me before I could, his hands around my neck choking me. 

“Hyunjin, stop. I can’t breathe.” I gasped the best I could with his hands on my neck.

“You think that you get to embarrass me by leaving with no explanation, and then break up with me?”

“Hyunjin, you're hurting me.” “Shut up, just shut up. You don’t get to decide when we are done, only I get to decide.” I try to fight against him but he still has the upper hand on me.

“Hyune. You are hurting me, I can’t breathe.” “Do you really think that I care about that right now?” “I-I’m sorry. I’ll come back, I’ll move back. Just please stop.” I whisper out, struggling. Tears fall from my eyes now, black dots crowd the corners of my vision.

“No, no you don’t get to come back on your word. I never want to see you again. Do I make myself clear, if I see you again I can’t guarantee that I won’t end your life. You useless whore.” He spits at me, spitting in my face in the process. 

He pulls his hands away from my neck, getting off of me. As soon as he’s off of me, I scramble away from him, scared that if I don’t he will go back on his word and try to kill me again. It’s almost like a light switched in him when he notices that I already have bruises forming on my neck. He tries to get closer to me but I scramble back even further from him. I can see the remorse and guilt in his eyes, I can tell that he wants to say something but doesn’t know what to say. He looks disgusted in himself, by what he just did. 

“Oh god. Oh god, what did I do?” He almost seems to ask himself.

“Y-you need help.” I cough out “Y-you’re right I do. Y/n, I am begging you, please call the cops. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you again. God I nearly killed you just now.” I don’t question him and rush for my phone, calling the police. 

When everything is done, the police ask if I want to press charges against Hyunjin but I don’t. I know that he’s sick, he wouldn’t have had me call the police on him if he wasn’t. They decide that he needs to be monitored for a while, get onto meds that will help with these different episodes that he’s been having. As they wheel him out on the stretcher to take him to the hospital, he has them stop so that he can express his remorse one last time. When he’s gone the police officer asks if there is anyone that they can call for me, the first person that I can think of was Felix. I didn’t even hesitate when I gave them his contact information, I knew that I needed his support. I wouldn’t be ok until he was here with me, throughout the last two weeks he has been my rock, my safe place. I won’t feel safe until Felix is here with me, protecting me. The officer waits with me until Felix bursts through the doors, when he sees me and my current state he rushes over to me, pulling me into him. When the officer confirms that Felix is who he says he is, he leaves. 

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come with you.” Felix grabs my face gently, wiping my tears.

“I didn’t think that he would be home, he was supposed to come back tomorrow.” “That doesn’t matter. No matter what y/n I would have always gone with you.” “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you, or the others.” “I beg you, bother me. I don’t want to get a call from the police like that ever again.” “I-I’m sorry, can we just go home now?”

“Of course.”

Felix helps me down to his car, making sure I’m comfortably in the car before he rushes around to the other side and gets in himself. The drive to his dorm is silent, music playing in the background. It’s like neither of us know what to say to the other, I truly didn’t mean to scare him and I didn’t think Hyunjin would be back this soon but I now can see how that was poor thinking with everything that had happened. 

When we get to the apartment, I’m tired and just want to nap. I can tell that Felix is still worried about me and I don’t want to cause him even more worry. He walks with me into his bedroom, ready to make sure that I can settle comfortably into the bed before he goes out into the living room. When I lie down, I realize that I don’t want to be alone, before Felix can leave I grab onto his hand. 

“Is everything ok?” Felix questions, looking down at where I’m holding his hand.

“C-can you stay, just until I fall asleep? C-can you please h-hold me?”

“O-of course.” He almost hesitates but still motions for me to move over, I comply.

He climbs into the bed next to me, pulling me into him. I burrow my face into his neck, letting myself find comfort in his warmth, in his presence that has been a saving grace these last two weeks. He buries his face into my hair, pulling me into him even more, almost as if he needed this just as much as I did. Neither of us said anything, instead basicking in the comfort that we brought each other. I expected him to leave after I fell asleep but when I woke up a short while later, he was still there, holding me just as tight as when we fell asleep. I didn’t say or do anything, instead deciding to go back to sleep. 

Six Months Later:

Much to my dismay and argument, Felix and Seungmin wouldn’t let me look for a new place to live. Insisting that the current living arrangement worked just fine, that there didn’t need to be any changes. Anytime that I tried to bring up the subject of moving out, they would find a way to change the subject and would act like it never happened. I didn’t want to keep freeloading off of them, I felt bad, feeling like I was using them. They constantly claimed that I wasn’t using them, that the fact that I would cook and clean for them, because let's face it, anytime these two tried to cook it was always a disaster, was enough for them. 

To my surprise, a month ago Felix had invited me as his plus one to a Louis Vuitton event that he had to go to. I said yes, but I was super hesitant and nervous to go especially after what had happened the last time I had to go to an event like this. He promised me that it wouldn’t be like that this time, that he would be by my side the entire time. The second reason I was hesitant to go was because over the last six months of living with him and Seungmin, I had grown to like Felix and his sunshine personality. He kept his own emotions under check so well that I honestly couldn’t tell whether or not he felt the same, and I couldn’t just outright ask him. 

Hyunjin had come back a month ago, he had been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. At first things had been extremely awkward within the group after they had heard about what happened, they needed to know since he was going to have to go on hiatus. I thought that when he came back I wouldn’t be ok being around him but when the others were around I was actually ok, I could handle seeing him. He knew that the relationship that we had was over, and he was ok with that. I think on a subconscious level he could see the relationship forming between Felix and I, and he knew that it would be a better fit than him and I. He was a silent supporter of whatever was happening between Felix and I. 

To make me feel more comfortable about going with him to the event, Felix took me shopping for a new dress. One by the brand that he was an ambassador for, he wanted me to get the dress first so that his stylists could match his outfit to it. He had thought this whole night out so well that I couldn’t even argue that it was going to be fun, and the dress was absolutely stunning. It was a white floor length gown with a vee neck cut, and when I saw how Felix matched himself to it, I couldn’t help but feel special. He made sure that I felt included and felt like this was important that I felt comfortable with him at all times at the event. 

Night of Event: 

When we arrived at the event, I expected Felix to usher me off to the side so that he could do the photo-ops but instead he gave me a questioning look, almost as if asking if it was ok to be photographed with me. When I nodded to him that I was ok, he pulled me into him and stood in front of the cameras. I could tell that he was in his element and he was happy, happy to be here and happy to have me here with him. I smiled for the cameras, glad that he didn’t want me off to the side, rather right next to him. The more he made sure I was ok, the more I fell for him. I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to keep my feelings for him a secret. 

When we got inside the event, he kept his hand on my waist, keeping me close to him. I was glad to have him there as a solid rock for me, if I had to be put into this situation again I wanted the memory to be a good one and not one like what had happened before. Everytime we stopped to talk to someone, he would look down at me smiling softly before continuing the conversation. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest, I couldn’t help the blush that was rising up my cheeks. If he noticed he didn’t say anything, rather he just pulled me into him even more as he talked to whoever had caught his attention at that moment. When they started announcing that the fashion show would start soon, I got nervous and scared that I would have to sit away from him but he tightened his grip on my waist and led me to the front row chairs that he had been assigned. 

I thought that we would go to the after party when the show ended but he instead led me outside and down the steps towards the beach that he had seen me eyeing since we arrived. I was glad to be alone and away from prying eyes, even if it was just for a little while. I didn’t pay attention to the way that Felix looked at me, rather focusing on the ocean and the feel of the sand between my toes and the water flowing over my feet. I could feel Felix come stand next to me, if I had turned to look at him I would have noticed that he wasn’t looking out at the ocean but rather at me, with a look of pure love and adoration. 

“Felix.” I say softly as I turn towards him.

“Hmm.” “I-I need to tell you something.” “What is it? You can tell me anything.” I look at him, taking a deep breath before I continue. 

“I love you. I know it hasn’t been that long since Hyunjin but you have been my rock and safe place through it all and I honestly don’t know what I would have done without your support.” “Y/n, I love you too. I didn’t want to push you or make you uncomfortable so I always kept it to myself. Even before you dated Hyunjin.” “We really are fools in love.” I say looking at him.

“Yes, yes we are.” He grabs my waist, pulling me into him. I can feel his hands grab my face gently. He looks into my eyes. 

“F-felix, c-can you k-kiss me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” He says softly while leaning into me. 

When Felix presses his lips onto mine, it’s not like what the movies describe. The hundreds of fireworks, or anything like that. The feeling of his lips on mine is like coming home on a cold night to a warm home, the perfect temp of hot cocoa, everything bright and sunny. It felt perfect, and I never wanted to stop. His hands moved from my face to in my hair and on my waist, pulling me into him even more. My arms wrapped around his neck as he deepened the kiss, I never wanted this feeling to end but I knew that both of us needed air and one of us had to pull away and I honestly don’t think that Felix was going to. 

“That was the best kiss I have ever had.” Felix mumbled, pressing his lips to mine again in a short kiss.

“It was perfect.” “We should probably head back, before they send out a search party.” He jokes as he grabs my hand. Slowly leading me back to the steps up to the building where the after party was held. 

As we walked hand in hand into the after party, I couldn’t keep the grin off my face and honestly neither could Felix. When one of his friends that I didn’t know walked up to us, I expected him to pull his hand away but instead he tightened his grip and found a way to include me into the conversation. When his friend asked who I was, I expected Felix to say that I was just a friend, something that Hyunjin would have done but instead he looked down at me and smiled before responding that I was his girlfriend. I knew Felix was different, but every time he proves it and it still surprises me. 

Epilogue:

I knew that at some point we would have to tell the other boys that we were dating but both Felix and I agreed that we wanted to keep it to ourselves just for a little while longer. He still insisted that I live with him and Seungmin and I finally relented but my only stipulation was that he no longer slept on the floor but rather in the bed with me. He agreed without any hesitation, claiming that he could get unlimited cuddles from now on, but I think we both knew that his back was killing him from sleeping on the floor for so long. 

We decided that we would tell the boys at one of their dance practices, later down the road when we were able to come up with a way to tell them that wouldn’t upset Hyunjin. But until then, we just focused on each other and the comfort that we got from each other. 

I knew that Felix had an early morning, he knew that he had an early morning but neither of us wanted to let the other go when we heard his alarm going off. He planted kisses all over my face before coming down to my lips, I could get high off of his kisses. He gently pushed me onto my back, placing himself above me as he continued to kiss me. I knew that this was headed into dangerous territory and if it didn’t stop soon he would be late to practice. 

“Lixie, you have to get ready for practice.”

“Come with me.” “What?” “Come with me to practice. I don’t want to hide, I want to openly love you.” “A-are you sure? Seungmin is the only one who knows and you know how he reacted.” “I’m sure, I want the others to know. Hell, I want the world to know that you are my girlfriend.” “You want to announce our relationship not only to the boys but also to Stay?” “Yes, I want to share my love for you with them.” “If you are sure, then so am I. I know that as long as I am with you, I’ll be ok.” “Then it’s settled, we’ll tell the boys and then I’ll speak with the media team to come up with a way to announce our relationship to Stay.”

“Sounds perfect.” I kissed him again.

He kissed me back with just as much fervor, I knew that he was going to be late today. Or at least that’s what I thought until the door burst open and Seungmin rushed in, hand over his eyes as he blindly reached for Felix. I could feel Felix being tugged off of me, I let out a small laugh at the sight of my poor boyfriend getting dragged away by his younger roommate. 

“Sorry y/nnie, just following Channie Hyungs orders.” “It’s fine Minnie, I’m coming with you guys anyways.” “You are?” “Yes, Felix wants to tell the boys and Stay about our relationship.” “Sweet!.”

Seeing the excitement in Seungmin’s eyes at the prospect of Felix and I’s relationship not only becoming public but also being announced to the boys, gave me hope that everything in the long run would be ok. The look that Felix gave me, also told me that everything in the long run would be ok. 

[inanimateinsanitywiki]

theres been a lot of talk about the ii cast's perception of romance lately (by which i mean i've seen approximately three posts from two people) so i would like to elaborate on my headcanons regarding this scenario. everything the cast knows about romance comes from whatever slop mephone lets them watch, so they were watching things like desperate housewives thinking "what is wrong with these people. why are they doing all of this. i want nothing to do with this Romance nonsense" but over time they start reverse engineering the concept and are amazed when they realize that romantic gestures and interactions are actually enjoyable when you aren't an insane person from a tv show (that is in fact what they are but they don't know that yet) and genuinely like and care about the other person. they react to the discovery that it is nice to cuddle with someone the same way that a caveman would react to seeing fire for the first time. they think that all other romantic relationships are horrible and dramatic and that they've somehow discovered something unheard of by grafting friendship and romance together to create something somewhat stable and reasonable, unaware that that's what a romantic relationship is ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE and that they didn't discover shit. and even then only a small portion of them are actually interested in it. and the ones that are are doing a terrible job. suitcase doesn't understand why knife wants whatever is going on between him and pickle but he seems happy and that makes her happy and in the end it's none of her damn business. peace and love on the planet earth