#he is absolutely horrific for the first part of the story. absolutely horrendous and i didn't want to put more stigma and im still

[woodlandscab1n]

Man. I'm glad I have Bishop as a character, they were a character that I used to beat the shit out of myself for what I considered my "bad traits", a complete extreme of this side I didn't wanna touch even with a stick.

But then I did. And, it's just...wild? I guess, I never thought I would even come close to redeeming this character, or making him any more sympathetic than what I established as the base. And it ended up happening anyways.

Through out the writing of their character I put myself the rule of never, ever change his core of being...because I wanted to make them irredeemable, by them never wanting to truly change, they'll never be redeemed but, I was wrong.

Redeeming him wasn't about changing his core, about making him more human-like, making him love and feel like other people do, completely overhauling his way of thinking. It was just... accepting it, and that doesn't mean you're doomed to be a bad person and hurt people just because of how, what you are.

I still have a long way to go to fully accepting those parts of myself, as well as seeing it on other ppl, but this character has given me a perspective I honestly didn't even know I needed, or even know it was a possibility for me.

[homestuckreplay]

Favorite Homestuck Character: 27th US President William Howard Taft

(page 556-566)

8/29/2009 Wheel Spin: Dramatic Irony Verdict: Puns, The Lower Form Of Humor

8/31/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: Brother Truly Awful And Horrendous

We begin these pages with John, followed by a quick cut to Dave. Both of them navigating the dangers of their home and the possibility of being watched, but in very different ways.

The Colonel Sassacre and Bathtub level ups are clearly just a setup for puns, so I’m not gonna read too much into the idea that everything can level up (yet). But Colonel Sassacre gained 9550 boondollars from his level, so he must be pretty far up the echeladder compared to the bathtub (490) and John’s meager 200. Sassacre’s new level is ONE MAN JULEP VACUUM. A julep is a chilled cocktail, today usually made with mint, bourbon and crushed ice, although historically used rose petals and was prescribed for health. In 1939, the mint julep became the official drink of the Kentucky Derby after being drunk there probably since its inception. For the ‘genteel, aristocratic southern colonel’ hoovering up a large number of juleps at the derby must be a sign of social status. A high achievement indeed.

Meanwhile, the bathtub’s levels are both references to apocryphal bathtub-related stories. ARCHIMEDED was the ancient Greek mathematician who got into the bathtub and realized that placing an object into a liquid would displace that volume of that liquid (and could therefore determine what metal an object was made from, via the relationship between weight, volume and density) and ran naked through the streets yelling “eureka!” So, his AQUACRADLE is the watery crib that nourished and inspired him. Meanwhile, William TAFT was the US President famous for being the heaviest person in office, who was believed to have gotten stuck, or JAMMED, in the White House bathtub. Although both of these stories are probably false, they’re famous and they’re fun references.

Finally, VAULTHALLA is a pun on Valhalla, the hall of slain warriors in Norse mythology. It’s horrific as a pun (complimentary) but I do think p.558 is the best looking page in all of Homestuck so far. The jewel tones streaked to create the sunset and the sea, the way the boat bobs on the waves and the fire flickers and is reflected in the water is way more beautiful than it needs to be to carry the pun.

LAD SCRAMBLE (p.560) is John’s equivalent of YOUTH ROLL (p.379) in terms of being acrobatic feats attempted and failed by these characters. Can’t wait for Dave’s Dude Scoot and GG’s Kid Tumble. But I am really glad this happened to our boy on the lowest flight and not miles above the house. The code violations on Rose’s building are scarier to me than the absolutely MASSIVE imp that shows up afterwards.

As predicted, this is the rook. It has a better moveset than the imps and is worth about five of them power-wise which is absolutely more than John can handle. The learning curve of Sburb continues to be really steep. I wonder if all the enemies are literally climbing up from below? It makes sense given that they’re part of the forces of darkness, and it sets the game up as a giant chase using architecture, where – at a certain point – just out-climbing the smaller enemies might be more effective than killing them, and only the higher level enemies will even reach the players.

Returning to Dave after a hundred pages away from him is like stepping from the normal world into the first layer of endless puppet hell. His mind is a complex and terrible place, but he – or the narrator – is getting closer to admitting some things. He feels ‘pangs of jealousy’ about his bro’s turntable gear and there’s a mention of getting worked up, and he acknowledges that his bro’s comic ‘get[s] under [his] skin’ and that he thinks it’s ‘just a little TOO ironic.’ He is also aware that ‘trouble’s a-brewin’ due to a missing sword. This feels like somebody getting sucked in too deep to a subculture that’s fine in moderation, but then somebody takes it way too far to the point that it’s harmful – but by then it’s too late to get out, especially when that somebody lives with you, has power over you and presents themself as an authority.

Today I learned that ‘Animal’ is the actual name of a Muppets character (along with Rowlf). This comic is of course puppet themed – Bro does not have a diversity of interests – being tormented by Jigsaw from the movie Saw, which I will watch soon. The art style is different to Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff, less pixelated and artifacted with some hand lettering instead of Comic Sans, darker in both tone and color palette. I’m sure this is post-post-post-post-ironic to some people but to me this is just every ‘what if we took a children’s story… and made it Fucked Up’ post that has been made on the internet in the last decade.

There’s also near-confirmation that Bro is hiding close by and messing with Dave’s mind via sylladex. On p.563, there’s a flash of the sword on the wall being captchalogued, and on p.564, the flash of Lil Cal being de-captchalogued – both from back towards the couch area if my mental picture of the room is right. Out of every character we’ve met so far, Dave’s bro is the one without a single redeeming quality; every new fact or insinuation draws him as an even worse guy.

[wednesdaypasta]

Asuka Langley Sohryu analysis

VERY LONG POST!!!!!!! 

This essay is purely for my own autistic ass, make of it what you will lol.

Asuka is often viewed as a conceited, narcissistic and deeply flawed character in NGE. I don’t believe Soryu is truly as horrendous as others perceive her to be, perhaps that is due to my own projections or simply me giving her the benefit of the doubt, so I’ve decided to take it upon myself to truly understand every aspect of her traumas, her actions throughout the series and finally her death. I want to know what caused her to become such a self loathing yet egotistical child. every tiny detail of her personality can be traced back to specific events, she's been created with such detail and precision, it's hard not to want to delve deeper into her story.

Prior to the traumatic events of NGE Asuka had a horrific home life. She was neglected by her mother who was busy with work, leaving Asuka feeling irrelevant. This sparked an overwhelming need for attention, which followed her from early childhood right until her last breath.

 Kyoko Sohryu (Asuka’s mother)  was a key scientist in the German division of Gehirn. (What would later become NERV’s third branch.) She was the subject of the contact experiment with Unit-02, where during this experiment part of Koyokos soul would bond with the eva, causing severe mental damage. This led to her becoming incredibly unstable and psychotic, believing one of Asuka’s dolls was her daughter rather than Asuka. As a result of her mothers insanity, Asuka felt even more neglected and abandoned. She was replaced by a doll, not even a human, but an inanimate object. 

At Kyoko’s most deranged she pleaded Asuka to die with her in a double suicide, to which Asuka, in an act of desperation to be loved, agreed. Her mother instead hung herself alongside the doll. Asuka was so replaceable to her own mother that she wasn't even worth being killed. In later life Asuka grows to feel utter contempt and disgust towards her own weakness; she was completely vulnerable and desperate to be loved, so much so that she would have died. She’s extremely black or white. If he can’t be loved, she should die.

The Asuka we are first introduced to doesn't seem to carry much of this weight at all. She’s bright, bubbly, feisty and fun. Her presence brings a much needed lift to the show with dance routines, montages and general playfulness from both her and Shinji. How can such a broken character appear so confident? Asuka uses her ego as a safety net, she wants to appear as confident (if not bordering on narcissistic) as possible to hide the fact that she is very much still an insecure child.  If she doesn't appear vulnerable, no one can hurt her. Her confidence will project onto those around her and she will be the most loved girl in Japan, right? She is the best Eva pilot by far, they need her. These thoughts are enough to keep her not only alive, but living.

Obviously this doesn't keep up, as we see Shinji strike Asuka’s nerves more and more with every episode that passes. Shinji is the counterpart to Asuka, everything that he lacks, she will overcompensate with. His nonchalant, pessimistic, self pitying attitude is everything she hates. But shinji isn't all too dissimilar from Asuka at all, his ego is absolutely huge; if he isn’t happy, why should anyone else be, he's not loved so everyone should die. Everything that Asuka pushes onto herself, Shinji pushes onto others. This causes a very expected clash between the two. Part of me believes that Asuka potentially sees in Shinji what she could have become if she had not been chosen to pilot unit-02. Someone merely existing, an insecure child whining at any given chance about doing this, that and the next thing. Someone ‘useless’. Asuka demands to be used at any given chance for recognition and validation, even at the prospective cost of her life/sanity.

While Shinji is the embodiment of the internal threat of her deep rooted shame, insecurities and fears, Rei represents the external threat that she can and will be replaced. Rei is the golden child, she does as she’s told, she fights well. This can be proven in episode 22 after Asuka has yet again been defeated by an angel, her sync rates drop. This comes as a massive blow to her fragile ego. To make it worse, Ritsko notices Asukas mental disturbance and orders Rei to shoot the Angel, leaving Asuka literally in her shadow. This is when the mindrape (i hate that term but i can't think of anything better to describe it as) occurs, leaving Ritsuko no choice but to start looking for a replacement pilot. Rei ends up saving her by using the spear of longinus. This absolutely destroys Asuka, how could she be shadowed, let alone saved by someone as spineless as Rei? She's being replaced yet again, bringing her back to square one in regards to her Mothers horrific passing. At this point both Shinji and Rei are performing better than her, proving her to be useless. The very thing she berated Shinji for from the beginning.

Kaji and Misato also play some of the most important roles in Asukas life, being her only acting guardians. Kaji is the only person we see Asuka actively regress back into a childlike state with. Her pleas to be recognised and loved by him are overwhelmingly upsetting. Screaming that she is an adult, that she wants to have intercourse by him and be viewed as somewhat of an object is a desperate cry for help. She wants to prove that she’s no longer an insecure child, but her ways of doing so only prove that more. While Kaji never made advances on her, he equally enabled it to an extent. I believe that sex is what Asuka perceives as the most adult thing she can comprehend, so she yearns for it with an adult figure to not only prove to him but herself that she is no longer the sobbing infant at her mother’s dangling feet. Kaji seems somewhat aware of her past, which may be why he never put his foot down with her. He knows that the harsh rejection of her advances would cause the spiral that eventually came due to her sync scores dropping. Pleading for intimacy may also be (in her mind) one of the least shameful ways for Asuka to beg for validation. We never saw Asuka in this state with any of her classmates, leading me to believe that she uses Kaji as he is somewhat of a parental figure to her, as fucked up as that is. She needs him to validate and praise her as she never got that from either of her parents, but would never hurt her pride by saying that blatantly therefore relying on sex to get her point across. When it’s revealed that Misato had previous relations with Kaji, this obviously hurts Asuka’s ego to an extent. She views Misato as a fully fledged woman who, like Rei, is capable of what she is not. Asuka’s battle with the constant sexualisation of herself is one of the most misunderstood parts of her character. A lot of people seem to believe it was used as fucked up fanservice, but i wholeheartedly think it’s a very jarringly real way to portray how neglect and abuse can affect a young girl, regardless of how uncomfortable it is to watch firsthand. It rounds out her backstory fully and adds a whole other level of depth to her character for individuals to identify with.

At the end of Evangelion we have a broken, soulless and decayed Asuka. She is no longer the abrasive, confident and overbearing character some of us (guiltily) adored. Only a miracle could bring back the determined character we know and love. Thrown into unit-02 for safety, Soryu is left comatosed only for her mothers voice to wake her. Kyoko can be heard saying the words ‘You’re alive!’ several times. This implies that the maternal part of Kyoko's soul was the one trapped inside unit-02, and is now cheering Asuka to fight, to live! However, another voice joins in, begging Asuka to ‘Please die with me!’. Both these voices mix together, thus suggesting that the insane Kyoko and Maternal Kyoko have merged together inside the Eva. Regardless of her mother chanting to die with her, the voice telling her to live on shines through and provides the motivation to have one of (what I consider) one of the best battles in cinematic history. Asuka comes to the realization that she was never truly alone. Her mother was always watching over her, watching her pilot the eva. Everything she had ever longed for was truly validated in that moment. She fought with a might that we had never seen before, she truly gave it her all. It feels so incredibly bittersweet to see her truly at her happiest, screaming out ‘mama!’ as she brutally tears mass unit eva’s to shreds, smashing their heads in, ripping off limbs etc. The whole scene is so authentically Asuka Langley Sohryu. The sheer shock, the horrifying events unfolding while she has a wide grin on her face. She was actively risking her life knowing she has the validation she has craved since he was a toddler. Everything I have spoken about in this essay truly comes together in this heart wrenching scene; her screaming about useless shinji, her crying out for her ‘mama’, her overbearing confidence in herself. Even in her last moments she was determined, not to prove to anyone else but herself that she was useful. She says through gritted teeth and a struggling breath ‘I’ll kill you’ thus proving how she was genuinely set on being seen till her very last moments on earth.

I firmly believe that Asuka is one of the most well thought out and genuinely complete characters I’ve ever seen in fiction. While she is not the most ‘likeble’ she provides a very important role in making Neon Genesis Evangelion the show we know and love. Anno has done a fantastic job of creating a character that is so easy to hate yet so easy to relate to. As previously mentioned, some of this may be projection but I truly do feel she is a character anyone could pick apart and find some sort of self in.

[swanqueensalad]

TRIGGERWARNING!

Without triggering anyone I wanna ask two things:

1) Was Cora ever physically abbussive towards Regina?

2) I know many ppl's head canon is that Leopold raped Regina again and again as his bride, but is that your headcanon too?

ok again TRIGGER WARNING for abuse & SA (and brief mention of suicide) for anyone reading/scrolling!

i'm going to just explain my personal interpretation of the show and these subjects, bc i find regina so interesting and heartbreaking. and i actually do think part of what makes regina so fascinating as a character is her relationship within the cycle of abuse and how yes, she was incredibly hurt and manipulated all her life, but she eventually managed to break free of it all and work to be better for her own child.

buckle up because i have a lot of feelings and this is probably going to be LONG

so, my thoughts on exactly what happened and why regina is as fucked up as she is:

so yeah, cora was a horrific parent. it's canon that she abused regina both emotionally and physically for practically all her life.

in practically her very first scene, we see cora using magic to hurt her eighteen year old daughter - to violently restrain her/drop her to the ground when she 'misbehaves' which pretty clearly says this is a woman who uses power and fear as a control tactic, and is not afraid of physically hurting regina.

and if this is what she was doing when regina is almost an adult, i think it's safe to assume she's been doing it since she was very young - regina's response 'please don't, i'll be good' is the conditioned response of a much younger child. everything about the way regina was written, her relationship with cora, and the way lana and the directors chose to play it screams abuse victim. she is hypervigilant - she jumps when people come close or make sudden noises. when she's choked with magic she immediately knows not to struggle or fight back. as a young girl, she is terrified of doing things wrong.

(also, when we get the flashback to actual 10 year old regina, cora says she can't help her because 'it needs to be someone who's magic has never hurt her')

while i think most of the time cora relied on magic to physically punish regina - knowing how much regina particularly hated it/was afraid of it - i think she was definitely not above slapping her for more minor infractions

beyond just physical abuse, cora was clearly emotionally distant and got regina to a place of being pretty touch-starved and desperate for affection. (lana and barbara play this so masterfully as well) we see her being constantly, nastily critical of everything her daughter does.

i think it's also implied in the regina rising book that cora was controlling/restrictive of regina's food to ensure she stayed thin/attractive which is just a whole other can of worms

as for leopold. please bear with me while i RANT:

nothing will ever make me more mad than the fact this man was never held accountable in the narrative for his role in regina's story and how absolutely fucking awful he was.

first of all, even before he meets regina, he is dodgy af. he supposedly genuinely loves cora, but throws her out immediately when he discovers her pregnancy without even asking her if it's true/discussing it. also, even in that flashback the man is visibly much older than cora and even more so than eva, who he actually does marry (although i do believe they came to truly love each other). so yeah he has a habit of Not Listening to women and not looking at women his own age

and then we get to regina. the eighteen year old daughter of his ex fiancee (younger even than the unborn child who cora carried when she was engaged to him)

yes i think he raped her. because powerful old men do not marry pretty eighteen year olds for the company. (also, if it was just so snow would have a mother figure, well, she already had her maid joanna. and if snow really wanted regina around that badly, leopold could have just brought her to court as a lady in waiting, a fitting role for a noblewoman, and more appropriate seeing as regina was only about eight years older than snow)

regina is visibly distressed by the proposal. she is panicked. she looks to her father to help. cora accepts the proposal for her. and leopold does not care. i think this tells u all u need to know about his views on consent

(also it all gets ickier when you remember leopold was attracted to cora, and regina is considered to look like cora did when she was younger)

leopold clearly had zero interest in regina as a person. he used her for arm candy for events, to make snow happy, and to keep his bed warm. (later, he invades her privacy so much regina counts on him reading her diary as a thoughtless and integral part of a plan, and locks her up for receiving a present from another man) and yet he is never treated as a villain or ever held accountable (besides regina killing him - good for her - but even then it's framed more as a way to villainise her for tricking sidney) and it makes me FURIOUS

i sometimes see the take that leopold might have stopped raping her towards the latter years of their marriage, but i disagree - i think maybe it did get fewer and farther between, but regina was still his wife who he only saw as serving a few purposes, and the way he is so possessive of her in 1x011 makes no sense otherwise, seeing as he was so uninterested in her in every other way

i do think a lot of regina's rage and vendetta against snow is because of this abuse too.

hear me out: in s1 especially, both snow and regina refer to snow as 'ruining her life'. because regina blamed her for everything that happened to her. not only did snow cause daniel's murder, it was her desire for regina as a mother that prompted leopold to marry her.

and this marriage was hell. and i think people don't realise how long it lasted either - snow went from a child to at least her late teens before regina killed leopold. regina was a traumatised young girl, grieving the love of her life, with no friends, no allies, nobody except the literal dark one who was grooming her for his own gain. (no wonder she clung to the brief sense of freedom and control his lessons offered. no wonder she nearly killed herself.)

and while regina suffered, she was forced to play with snow white every day, who was so spoiled, so loved, so happy, and had no idea of the life she had unwittingly trapped regina in.

so yeah, it's all pretty dark.

and it's for all these reasons i think ouat ended up shying away from many more regina backstory episodes centring on the time she was married/pre-evil queen years, because they were on abc after all, and i don't think they were really equipped to deal with the horrendousness of the story they'd created

but lana most certainly did her work becaue i think all of this nuance does show in her portrayal

and it all just makes regina's ending - the good queen, in her own name, safe and strong and loved, part of a true family, her bond with snow healed - so much more of a relief.

[itsclydebitches]

Godddddd I'm so upset that I dislike yen this much, doing main quests in skellige and Freyas ppl were doing stuff and she again disrespected other cultures with Geraly being against, "I may be inhumanly beautiful" I know she's meant to be confident but wowww. She's not confident and worried for Ciri she just comes off arrogant and selfish and vain. Like, fuck.

The ultimate mood, anon. My Witcher fandom life would be so much easier if I enjoyed Yen ... but I just do not lol. Remember how I mentioned that things were going to get even worse than her stealing and using a potentially dangerous artifact? Yeeeaah. She also resurrects Ciri's friend to torture him for information, all while destroying another sacred garden to get the power to do it! It's not even a "She's so evil and I love it 😏" situation for me because the game tries so hard to convince us that she's still The Best. Geralt's sexy soulmate, Ciri's adoring mother, the baddest bitch around who gets things done and does it with an effortless confidence... all while ignoring how horrific her actions and attitude are. Oh sure, other characters speak ill of her at times, but considering how much Geralt is written to adore her, no matter what you choose, that's all undermined. I love morally gray/evil characters, but I've never enjoyed them when the text refuses to appropriately acknowledge that side of them. Nothing is more frustrating to me than a story that frames disliking a character as the unambiguously wrong thing to do, especially when the text is piling up reasons to dislike them and, as a result, ignoring or shrugging them off their actions as not that bad. Yen is a rather extreme example of that for me. Despite her attitude, her choices, and other characters outright going, "Why do you like her?" the story as a whole works under the assumption that it's correct to like her anyway because Geralt loves her. And he loves her for... reasons.

They do meet before the wish, but only just. Major "The Last Wish" spoilers in this paragraph, so feel free to skip. Basically, Geralt and Dandelion run into trouble with a djinn, he goes to Yen for help since she's a sorceress (first time meeting her), he instantly falls for her because she's gorgeous and such (there's an elf there who is also madly in love with Yen. Men just... fall for her, instinctually), she heals Dandelion, Geralt agrees to pay her, but Yen has already decided on the payment she wants. She takes control of Geralt's mind and forces him to attack the town to seek revenge on those who have insulted her, resulting in him waking up in prison awaiting execution for "his" crimes. Meanwhile, Yen has gone after the djinn for herself because power/trying to regain her ability to have a kid. Geralt escapes, finds her failing to master the djinn (an attempt which btw has endangered the whole town) and despite what she's done to him, Geralt tries to get Yen to escape with him. She refuses, set on capturing the djinn even though it's obvious she can't. So as a last resort he uses the final wish to bind their fates together, saving Yen from the djinn in the process. Aaaaaand then they have sex.

So yeah, their rocky relationship is one of the main reasons why I can't enjoy Yen. For some their tumultuous history is evidence of realism, for me it's evidence that they're not actually very compatible and they're only together because a) that's the fantasy trope: protagonist men get together with the hot sorceress and b) because the magic is literally ensuring that they can't escape one another. I mean, canonically their fates are tied together by magic and canonically they spend about 20 years swinging between passionate love and fearsome fights... but there's supposedly no connection between these two things? No chance at all that they keep coming together because magic is drawing them rather than because they actually want/should be together? I wrote a meta a while back about the short story where they meet, which includes a present day scene where Geralt is criticized by another character — Nenneke — for running out on Yen. Thing is, he tries to explain that he left because she was "too possessive" and this is... flat out ignored. By both Nenneke and the fandom. There's a strong trend of ignoring Geralt's words in favor of a pro-Yen interpretation of events. He says he left because she was too possessive and she treated him like ____ — he's not allowed to finish the sentence and say what she treated him like because Nenneke interrupts him, saying she doesn't care about his version of events. Major yikes imo! She turns a claim of being possessive into Geralt not being man enough to stick around. The fandom likewise turns this into a case of Geralt getting cold feet and running out because he's a bastard who hates commitment. Likewise, Nenneke and the fandom claim Geralt is trying to get Yen money as a way of appeasing his guilt for leaving, he claims he's doing it simply because he still cares for her — even if he doesn't want to be with her — and knows she needs it. Geralt's words are frequently dismissed, in the same way others characters' opinions of Yen are dismissed. Any mark against her is treated as either a lie, or a convoluted claim that they don't really know her... never mind that an understanding of why she may act this way doesn't excuse the behavior itself. (Plus, the whole "Yen had a horrible upbringing, so of course she struggles being kind" perspective always fell flat to me when so many, including witchers, had horrendous upbringings too. The whole point is this world is a mess and most everyone suffers). It's supposedly true love, yet if someone came up to me and went, "I magically tied my fate to this woman to keep her from getting herself killed and we've spent the last couple decades having what many would term a rocky relationship, to put it kindly. I left once because she was too controlling. She once cheated on me. I likewise hooked up with others during our frequent breakups. A mutual friend used magic to get me to have sex with her — also while my lover and I were broken up — and though I view it as a dumb decision I'm happy to forgive her for, my lover is ready to commit murder because again: possessive. A lot of the time we're only a family because of our daughter. I once thought she'd horrifically betrayed us both. She didn't, but it says something that I was so ready to believe it, huh? Hmm? Permanently separated? Of course not! I love her. We're destined to be together after all :)" I'd be like, "Uh... you sure about that, dude?"

Not that Geralt doesn't make his fair share of mistakes in the relationship — he absolutely does — but I don't think it helps his case that he's immature in other ways and, frankly, that he's a very strong, badass witcher. It's easy to turn the hints we get about their relationship into a simplistic "emotionally naive man can't give the poor woman the commitment she wants" situation. Given Geralt's status as the badass fighter of the tale, it's likewise easy to dismiss his admissions of her being "possessive" and his general discomfort. He's the man. He's the witcher. If he's making any claims about how Yen isn't treating him well, they must be excuses, or exaggerations, because real men, especially physically powerful men, would do something about that — a something that's not sneaking out in the middle of the night. A lot of people read Geralt leaving as the ultimate proof that he's an immature bastard who doesn't deserve her. I read him leaving and think, "What were you trying to get away from? What was going on that made you think you could only leave by sneaking out without a word?" To me, that doesn't read as someone who felt safe, comfortable, and respected enough to do anything but slip away and try to wash his hands of things. And I'm not just pulling this "Geralt is at least somewhat afraid of Yen and isn't comfortable establishing boundaries with her" reading out of my ass. When Yen wants Geralt to kill the golden dragon for her and he refuses, saying he doesn't care anymore, his thoughts are:

He expected the worst: a cascade of flames, flashes of lightning, blows raining down on his face, insults and curses. There was nothing. He saw, with astonishment, only the subtle trembling of her lips. Yennefer turned around slowly. Geralt regretted his words.

And everyone is like, "See! Yen has improved so much. Geralt nearly made her cry, but she's supposed to be the bad guy here?" Meanwhile, I'm going, "Uh... anyone want to unpack why he expects fire, lightning, insults, curses, and blows to his face for telling her no? Why he's astonished that she wouldn't use her magic against him? Anyone think that Yen refraining from attacking Geralt when he refuses to murder on her command is a pretty low bar? No? Just me?"

Geralt and Yen's relationship makes me uncomfortable and a great deal of that discomfort derives from how much of the Witcher fandom shrugs off the fictional warning signs. I mean, I post primarily about RWBY. We watched a man in that show try to sneak away with his kids when his villainous wife planned to use them for a eugenics plan... and the fandom still blames him for that, refusing to admit that he was in an abusive relationship. Because that doesn't happen to men, right? I'm not saying it's the same for Geralt and Yen, simply because they are written to be soulmates. An abusive relationship was, quite obviously, never the authorial intent. However, I am saying that the a "This isn't a healthy relationship" reading is there, it exists as an interpretation, and both the story and fandom's tendency to dismiss it is something that hasn't helped me enjoy Yen's status as an otherwise well written, complex character. Their equality supposedly stems in part because they're both so flawed, yet each time I see a list of Geralt's supposedly equal faults they're... lacking imo. "Geralt bound himself to Yen without her consent." Yeah, to save her from dying from the djinn she was trying to enslave, after she refused to leave, while her actions threatened a whole town. "Geralt ran off without a word." Mmm hmm, anyone care about why? And my personal favorite is a scene you may not have gotten to yet (or may not get depending on your choices), but suffice to say, Yen is supposedly justified in physically attacking Geralt if he dares to challenge her in any way. That's the main takeaway across the fandom: If Yen is pissed off, you must have done something to deserve it which, in the relationship deliberately written to be "stormy," is something that sets all the alarm bells in my head off. Honestly, it kinda makes my skin crawl to go, "Geralt didn't deserve that" and get responses back of, "Yeah he did because he [insert basic human action here]." The Witcher world is hard and cruel, absolutely, but that doesn't mean I personally enjoy seeing an equally messed up relationship presented as something that's enviable in its flaws. "That's actually true love because the magically bound man who often expresses discomfort with his lover, written by a male author with a very iffy perspective on women, says it's true love." Crazy theory here, but... maybe it's not?

Idk, lots of rambling on my end tonight! For me, Geralt/Yen reads as something rather tragic which, in a canon that unironically upholds the relationship, and in a Yen-adoring fandom, doesn't make enjoying her character any easier. I keep coming back to Witcher 3, the comics, the show, even the books going, "Maybe I'll like her this time?" but nope, still trying lol.

[b1ksh88p]

Be Mine ⛏

Plot Plot: You’ve been in a few relationships, unfortunately all ending in tragedy. You had a reputation for being a bad omen. Truly you were a sweet girl but it seemed like every single one of your lovers ended up dead or horrendously disfigured in the long run. This Valentine’s Day your boyfriend decides to jump ship for some blonde crushing the little hope you had left for your love life. In a slightly drunken haze you sneak into the mines for a rant about the cursed corporate holiday and to drown your sorrows in the solitude of the mines. But it seems like you’ve got a listener.

Tags/Warnings: Lots of cursing | Sprinkle of angst | Fluff

The cold air of the abandoned labyrinth did nothing to cool you down as you ventured further into its clutches. To put it lightly you were on fire. Every part of you wanted to tear someone apart. The auburn liquid sloshed around as you clumsily stomped past heaps of forgotten debris. If not for your drunken stupor you would’ve turned back. Everyone knew the horrific tale of the pickaxe cannibal murder. Although you were sure the story was somewhat embellished you’ve heard worse. Poor fuck did what he had to do to survive. Anyone else would’ve done the same, it’s human nature to do anything no matter how gruesome to survive.

“Give a girl a box of cheap chocolates and a fucking bouquet of withering roses and she’s supposed to repay ya by sucking your fucking dick and acting like yer the best thing since sliced bread.” You grumble.

The deeper you go the darker it gets. Stone walls become suffocating and everything looks like the enemy. A fight or flight response may have kicked in but you were in no place to think rationally. When your heel broke you fucking snapped.

“Stupid Roses, fuck ass chocolates, fake relationships for fake people who wouldn’t know love if it fucking stabbed them in the face!” You yell throwing the broken heel piece deep into the darkness. “A corporate holiday with no fucking insignificance! Just a money plot and a excuse to fuck and act like you like that worthless pathetic fuck you’re dating that you like them. When all 364 days you’ve been with em ya fucking loathe them!” You continue on tearing up the damned holiday in partially incoherent babbling until you hear glass break.

Despite your conditions you aren’t stupid. “Fuck is that?” You call out whilst backing up. At first you’re sure it’s a group of horny teenagers but through the gritty lights you see a single foreboding silhouette. This was where you run. Or at least you should’ve. Instead you squint your eyes like some tourist taking in the sights and step forward. “Bud y’know the mines are abandoned cuz of the poor guy who had to eat his friends right?” You call out. “I mean do you if this is your thing I support it but it’s kinda weird since you look exactly like the serial killer guy. Spot on cosplay.” You compliment. The figure doesn’t move. It doesn’t even look like he’s breathing. You feel your hairs start to stand up and goosebumps pepper you skin. It seems your liquid courage was fading.

“Welp I’ll leave you be, don’t wanna bore you with the details of this fucked up holiday.” You let out a wry laugh before turning your back on the figure. You get about 12 good steps in before the stride of death crescendos behind you. Now you were running. Your broken heels doing wonders at making this chase the easiest for your attacker. In the midst of running you take them off and throw them off behind you. Now look you weren’t aiming for the guy but when you heard the hit connect and a surprised grunt you got the feeling you were fucked. Instead of running in a straight line you dip into a little crawl space. Maybe he’d give up and fuck off you. To your horror the man crouches down and starts to crawl his way inside.

Without thinking you take the whiskey bottle and crash it on his head. “Leave me alone I don’t even like this fuckass holiday you fucking weirdo!” You cry. He looks up at you and stops trying to fit.

“Why not.” His voice was eerily calm. As if he weren’t some insane pickaxe murderer but a man.

“Well because it’s stupid and to lovy dovy. And because it feels wrong to celebrate it when such a tragedy had occurred.” You explain. “And...and I got dumped today so there’s that.” You huff.

“...You pity me?”

You shake your head. Words weren’t really your strong point and you didn’t need him thinking you were coddling him or anything. Instead you just stare into the glossy eyeholes with your own praying he’d just fuck off. You practically shit yourself when he continued to scramble through and stand up. You grab a rock and stand ready to knock him upside the head with it only have your wrist harshly grabbed mid throw.

“I don’t want your pity.”

This was it. You were gonna die. And it was gonna be painful and super fucking lame. On your headstone it would say:

“Loser girl no one cares about got dumped on Valentine’s Day...also got murdered lol”

Even though you wanted to sob and cry your eyes out you were way to stubborn to go out pleading and begging. “I was being empathetic you weirdo! We do what we gotta do to survive, and you did just that. You aren’t some crazy murderer. You’re just angry and traumatized and that’s ok!” The grip on your wrist only tightened. “Gah! Th-the system failed you dude. The whole fucking city failed you and still is failing you! You ha-have a right to be mad! I’m not excusing what you’ve done b-but shit I would’ve done the same!” You squeal feeling the blood flow completely cease as he tightened his grip.

Suddenly the pain stopped. You open your eyes and rub your poor wrist hoping the feeling would return. He seemed more docile. It was as if his entire aura had changed. The man sat down on a hunk of rubble, his weapon clenched in his grip. If you didn’t know better you could’ve sworn he was crying. It was a silent sob. Nothing overtly dramatic, kind of how like you’d expect a man who’s rarely cried to cry. It was unnerving. The only man you’ve ever seen cry was your dad and that was when he laughed to hard. This...this was gut wrenching.

This monster that was hellbent on killing you seconds ago was now a sad man huddled up in a corner like a child. You could never feel the pain he’s felt, relive the days of utter darkness and skewed rations. Never could you imagine the gritty taste of human flesh. The depravity one must have for themselves. The survivors guilt. The nightmares he must relive. He kept muttering something about the dark and the how he wasn’t a monster. How he just wanted to see the light again.

“It’s ok.”

You weren’t sure you could touch him so you just sat in front of him. He was still shaken up but the sound of your voice seemed to get through to him. “It’s ok and you’re safe. I’m here. I won’t go anywhere I’d you don’t want me to...” You could bare the cold for a night. You’d rather be frozen to death then brutally murdered.

Both of you sat there for what seemed like ages until he moved. You were on the edge of slumber before seeing a gloved hand slither towards yours. You wanted to move it. Make haste and dip but your body had become heavy. Your eyes seemingly weighed down by stones. Before you knew it he was oddly holding your hand. You saw him looking at you intently. Probably waiting for you to scream or pull away but you stayed put. One hand held up your head whilst the other was his to experience. It had probably been awhile since he’s been so vulnerable so you let him have this. It wasn’t like you had anything else to do tonight but sleep and pray that the hang over didn’t beat your ass in the morning. Before you could fall asleep he pulls you into a really awkward half ass embrace against the cold stained suit. It was far more comfortable than the back straining position you were in a second ago but man this guy was bad at ‘snuggling’. You felt like he was gonna smother you! When he found a comfortable position he rested that stupid ass mask on top of your head with a satisfied grunt before you gave up on protesting and fell asleep. How the hell were you gonna get home

When you wake there’s no cold embraces or odd masked men. Instead you find yourself wrapped in some dusty old quilt at the entrance of the mine. For a moment you think everything that occurred was a mere fever dream. A whiskey fueled hallucination. You scramble to your feet and notice a little note that had fallen from the tattered cloth. The paper, or what you hoped was paper and not dried human skin, had fairly neat handwriting. It was short and morbidly sweet.

Thank you.

There was a part of you that was absolutely mortified. The note solidified your suspicions of what had taken place last night. But the other part of you was strangely elated. You turn to the mine and put your hands to your mouth to amplify your words. “THANKS FOR NOT KILLING ME ILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU!!!!!!” You yell happily before heading back into town. You were pretty sure he didn’t hear you but it calmed you to know that he not only spared you but someone actually appreciated your presence.

This was definitely not your final encounter ⛏

#⛏

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Fifteen (Part Two)

**A Chris Evans Story**

Previous Chapter Here

Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue

Warnings: 18+ NSFW, strong language, generally a bit awkward

Notes: This is a long chapter, sorry. Any comments welcome, good and bad.

Chapter Fifteen (Part Two)

“Let me just bring up your booking here, one moment please.”

The lobby of The Langham was an ocean of grey and blue. The sun was shining brightly outside, the hottest day of the year so far, and it reflected in every surface of the space and accompanying bar. It was sparse on the usual detailing, instead preferring a minimalist approach; the check-in desk consisted of a mere iPad and one lily artfully growing from a tall, geometrical glass vase. Random art hung from all sides. One looked vaguely like a donkey, Sarah was sure. There was also what she thought was an ash tray balanced on a pillar to the left of where she was standing but she didn’t dare to investigate it any closer in case it cost the price of a small car.

It had the same over-perfumed odour as the fragrance section of a Macy’s. The tiled floor look so clean and fresh you could be forgiven for thinking it had only just been laid that very morning. Sarah felt a pang of guilt walking in wearing her scuffed Converse. She always felt so out of place in places like this. It was the kind of place she would run a mile from if she had the choice but Greg had an “in” with the manager and now here she was. 

“So that will be four nights in our Executive Suite with Central Park view. You also have the bar allowance of $150 per night. You just need to take the elevator up to the 32nd floor and it’s the second door on your left. Would you like a hand with your bags, madam?” She motioned for the concierge to come over but held her hand up when she spied the puzzled look on Sarah’s face.

“I’m really sorry but I think there’s been some kind of mistake. I didn’t book a suite, just a standard double and I don’t think I pre-paid for any bar allowance. I didn’t even know I could do that to be honest.” Sarah chuckled awkwardly in an attempt to diffuse the tension but it fell on deaf ears. She handed the key card back to the lady, unsure of what else to suggest.

The lady showed practically no emotion at the possible mistake and simply took another look at her records before confirming that she was in fact correct with the initial room choice. “It’s definitely your suite, and...everything is paid for in advance. Could it have been made on your behalf? It looks like it was upgraded yesterday afternoon.”

Sarah wasn’t sure if she was asking her a question or telling her. She couldn’t believe she wasn’t biting her hand off but she hoped she hadn’t made some kind of horrific error her bank wouldn’t forgive her for. She could barely afford the double room she’d booked as it was and she’s sure the college wouldn’t have upgraded her without letting her know in advance. It made zero sense. They couldn’t have that kind of money going spare, putting students up in posh suites. She had no clue what could have happened.

Unless...Chris?

No, it wouldn’t be. He was less than pleased to hear she’d be away as it was. Except...well, who else? Sarah rolled her eyes a little too obviously before accepting the key card back. “That’s OK. I think I know what’s happened. It’s only the one bag. I can manage it.”

The lady nodded her thanks and, smiling politely, pointed her back towards the elevators. Sarah couldn’t move away from her fast enough.

Arriving at her floor, Sarah emerged from the lift expecting someone to come running up to her to confirm that they had in fact made a horrendous mistake. She slipped the key card into her door before pushing her way in to find her new home for the week.

The bedroom was large, uncomfortable so, with the bed positioned just off the middle in the room. Sarah figured the designer for a psychopath. It was big but not as empty as the lobby would have had her believe. In fact, it seemed reassuringly cosy despite the windows, so many windows stretching around the suite. There was a soft blue curved sofa opposite a screen that she’d seen smaller versions of in a cinema. Cushions fucking everywhere and fluffy white slippers she’d probably never take off again.

Everything seemed to be controlled from an iPad set in a stand by the bedroom door; the lights, the curtains, the air freshener, some background music for ambiance if she wanted. The windows tinted darker to block out the sunlight. Even the $1300 coffee machine was remote controlled; she had recognised it from the last edition of Home & Country Jocelyn had mailed to her, the exact one Shanna had been dropping hints about to Chris as a potential Christmas present.

The lounge offered her the clearest view of Central Park and with the light at this time in the afternoon, it was beyond stunning. She snapped a picture and considered texting it to Shanna but thought better of drawing attention to where she was staying. There was no way she could pass this off as a standard room even with her best efforts.

It was almost a shame to waste all of this on just herself. This room deserved romance, she thought.

Around the same time, Chris was on his third beer of the afternoon and lounging on his sofa. He had a new script in one hand, one he wasn’t particularly keen on but offered to read as a favour for a friend. He was so relaxed now that he had to re-read the last ten or so pages simply because it wasn’t landing. The whole room was lit softly by the sun outside. It had gone 4 o’clock when his phone rang disturbing the peace.

“Bernette! How was the journey?” he smiled into the phone as soon as he saw who it was.

“The bathtub is the size of my entire bathroom.” She announced, not giving him room to breathe. She heard him laugh heartily at the end of the line and could picture him looking smug and proud of himself, the dick. “I could have an orgy with the Patriots and still have room left.”

“Hey, don’t go getting any ideas.” he jostled with her. He placed the script down on the tablet to give her his full attention. “So, you like it, huh?”

“It’s...it’s absolutely gorgeous and utterly ridiculous. Seriously, dude, you did not need to do this.” She could sense his growing pride from here. “I’ve never stayed in anything like it. I have, like, a hundred towels.”

“That’s why I did it in the first place. Not for the towels, obviously, but just because you deserved something different. Something nice.” He enthused. “Don’t fight me on this, Bernette.”

“You should see the view. It’s so beautiful. I think I can see the museum.” She was stood on her tiptoes, pressed against the glass, looking at the tiny people milling around on the street so far below her. 

“i know,” he responded. “You’ll be there for a week and best to be comfortable, right?”

She didn’t want to argue with him. She was tired and extremely grateful for the kind gesture. She’d be able to enjoy the place and her time in the City more if she could firmly separate her work from any space in which she could chill out. It wasn’t like she was going to be raving all night nor have much chance to see places at this rate, so more space was probably a good thing. She hadn’t had an unbroken night’s sleep in...she couldn’t even remember when.

“Thank you, Chris.” she spoke softly after a brief pause.

“You’re welcome.”

She put her phone down on the bedside table and set about removing her clothes from her suitcase. Well, “clothes” in the loose sense. What she’d packed was basically gym gear, sweat pants, t-shirts, nothing remotely attractive, and a simple paid of black trousers for the exam day itself. Who was going to see her anyway? Shanna had thrown a jumper in the mix without her realising, dismayed at her insistence that she was not going out to bars to hook up with someone.

“But you’ll be gone the next day! It’s. The. Perfect. Crime!” Shanna had said, exasperated and throwing her hands in the air in dismay.

The majority of space in her suitcase has been taken up with journals and textbooks, ones she hadn’t see since she left medical school and had long since expected she would never see again. Funny what opportunities life threw at you when you least expected it.

She was soon feeling the push and pull of the day and had planned on spending at least a couple of hours studying that evening, so she had a clean-up and threw on the first set of sweatpants that fell out of the closet. She tied her hair up and out of her face, pulled out her notepad and switched her Macbook on. The TV was showing some repeat of a gameshow with the sound on low, more for background company than anything else, and she finally figured out how to get the coffee machine working thanks to a small tome buried inside a drawer underneath the coffee table.

Chris 9.44pm: All OK? Need company yet??

Sarah 9.45pm: I love you guys bt I can’t tell u how amazing it is having space to myself. Been a looooong day

Chris 9.51pm: ah

Chris 9.52pm: OK maybe don’t look outside your door

Momentarily confused, she rubbed at her eyes trying to come up with a pithy response.

Chris 9.56pm: well this is awkward...........

Sarah looked at the door and then back at her phone. Looking up at the door again, she unfolded her feet from underneath her and slowly walked towards it. Pulling it open, she found Chris looking up at her through his lashes, sheepishness drenching his entire body.

“OK, funny story,” he said. “But I thought this might be romantic and then I got carried away and now I’m here and I can absolutely go if you need me to...?” He half-turned his body in the direction of the elevators. “I’m so sorry, honey. I just thought it might be nice and not at all annoying but it’s annoying, isn’t it? It’s OK, you don’t need to say anything. Dammit, I really thought I pitched this right.”

“Chris, it’s fine.” Sarah finally found her voice to speak. “Honestly. I’m...I’m just really surprised is all. I was not expecting you to...drive? All this way?”

He nodded. “Yeh, I just bombed it down the ‘95.”

Awkward silence fell between them as they stared at each other unsure of what to do next. Finally picking up on the fact he remained in the hallway, a backpack thrown over his shoulder, she moved out of the way and he entered the suite. Relieved, he placed his bag down and turned to see her close the door behind him. He looked mildly embarrassed and she was all too aware she wasn’t welcoming but it was getting late and her eyes had started to hurt a little as she rubbed at them with the back of her hand.

“Fuck, that’s a long couch.” he announced, taking his black suede jacket off and placing it over the armrest nearest to him. He glanced over and saw papers strewn over the coffee table, her laptop light blaring brightly and looked back to her. She was working hard and he had ruined it.

“I am so sorry. First thing tomorrow, I’ll go home, I promise.” He held his hands up by way of an apology but she shook her head in response.

“Stop apologising.” she chuckled. “Do you want a beer?”

He nodded gratefully and looked so adorable that any annoyance she might have felt finally dissipated. “How about I give you a hug and then leave you to it? I need a shower and I can amuse myself in there for a little while. I don’t know why I just said that.”

Sarah laughed again and a little more relief moved through him. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so nervous when he had been so confident of his decisions in the car all the way here. He’d rehearsed his lines and imagined her big smile when seeing behind the door. He had wanted to stop off and buy flowers but he was so eager to see her, he’d just kept driving. No daydream could live up to the reality of seeing her face up close.

*

He watched her from the bathroom doorway. She was cross-legged on the bed, studying the thickest textbook he’d ever seen with colour-coded notecards laid out across the duvet. He had earlier glimpsed a page over her shoulder but decided against pursuing medicine as a new career when he was faced with photographs of god knows what. He tried to remove the images from his mind by drinking another beer and thinking of Sarah in her scrubs. That tended to work well for him these days.

She looked so cute sat on the bed, her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose. He wanted to come up with a joke, calm the tension a little that had grown between them in the meantime, but she looked pretty hot. More hot than usual and it was distracting. Like a sexy Librarian and for the second time this month he discovered something else he was into.

One pen was stuck behind her ear but she’d forgotten she’d put it there and was now using a different one. Her hair was tied up at the top of her head in a messy bun that she hadn’t touched since she’d arrived, more and more strands falling loosely around her as the evening wore on, framing her perfect, round face. She seemed to engrossed in what she was doing.

He was still a little wet from his shower and pondered whether she would notice if he just whipped his towel off and offered himself to her. There really wasn’t anything he wanted more at this moment in time than to have her touch him, to have her run hands gently over his chest, to tease him a little bit. There’d be some time, he reasoned, and right not it was just was exhilarating to think of her being here alongside him knowing it would be just the two of them for a little while.

He perched on the end of the bed in front of her. She barely moved, barely seemed to notice him. He took one of her blank notecards and carefully placed it on the open page so as not to lose her place. She leaned back slightly, allowing him to gather up the papers and place them in a pile on the floor besides the bed before turning back to lean in towards her, one arm stretching out across her legs. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes again. She wanted peace and quiet and he decided to rock up just because he could. He sighed to himself. He was such a dick sometimes.

“Do you mind me being here?” he asked her, fully resigning himself to leaving if she now asked him to as hard as that might be. He’d got so caught up in his idea of surprising her that he hadn’t fully registered just how important these exams were or how well she wanted to do. Passing them wasn’t an option for Sarah; she wanted to knock it out of the park. She wanted to do better for herself and the more he got to know her like this, the more it became his favourite thing about her. And he related. He related perfectly. He knew exactly what that was like. “Cos I can go if you need me to.”

“Chris, I’ve said it’s fine. It’s nice that you’re here. I would just hate you feeling bored if all I’m doing is studying all the time.” She nervously twirled the pen between her fingers while taking in how amazing he looked following a shower, a little steam rising off his skin.

“I won’t get bored.” he assured her. “It’ll be nice hanging out with you. Just the two of us.”

He plucked the pen from behind her ears and she rolled her eyes realising the mistake she’d made. He tucked strands of hair back and leaned in placing a quick, soft kiss to her lips. He smelled like her coconut shampoo and she just now understood how truly spontaneous his trip had been.

“Listen, there’s another reason why I’m here. There’s something I need to talk to you about and I couldn’t wait until you got home.” he stroked her arm gently, looking down into her lap. “It’s been going around in my head and I’m not entirely sure what to say about it to be honest, but...it looks like Jenny’s done an interview with a magazine. A full thing with a photoshoot and stuff and it looks like I might be involved.” He closed his eyes for a second before correcting himself. “Not might actually, it’s pretty much definite that I’m in there for a large portion of it.”

“OK.” Sarah nodded. He for sure seemed weary of the whole thing and she felt for him.

“I just, I know she can be pretty unfiltered at the best of times, so-”

“-but she won’t have said anything negative, right?”

“No, no, not negative. I’m not worried about that exactly. It’s just that...” He was struggling to find the words. “I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about us, about me and her. I expect she’ll have this hyper-romanticised view of things and I guess I didn’t want you thinking it was some great love affair which is what I think she’ll spin it as.” He couldn’t quite meet her eye while he was talking. “I’m not proud of myself or of what I said or did at the time but I was low and she was there and it was...easy, I guess.”

He immediately regretted his choice of words. As much as he wanted Sarah to understand, he didn’t want Sarah to think he was dismissive of his relationships in this way. “Matt’s figuring out some damage control with them. Hopefully, it’ll go away as quickly as it comes.”

“You think he’ll be able to clear it up?”

Chris nodded. Matt was a formidable guy and he was assured things would look and read much better by the time it went to print. He placed his hand on her thigh and it was only now she registered just how close he was to surrounding her.  “I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve all too often but when I do, they know about it. I want to make them aware of exactly how I feel about them and I didn’t do that with her.” He dipped his head to catch her eye line. “So, when I do something for someone, it means something, y’know?”

“Yeh, of course. You’re a good guy, Chris. Everyone knows that.” She took his hand and lightly interlocked their fingers together.

“I guess I just didn’t want you worrying about her ‘cos there’s absolutely nothing there for me. Never had been.”

“You don’t need to explain this to me, I’m not going to hold anything against you.” she stroked his chin with her thumb and felt him relax into her hand. He glanced down at the mess he’d made on the floor and started picking a few things back up.

“How much left do you have to do tonight?” he whispered as his lips closed upon hers for a fleeting moment.

“I could do with finishing some notes but...half an hour, maybe?”

“I’ll hold you to that.” he kissed her again and got up from the bed, lifting her books back on top. “Just come get me when you’re done, yeh?”

*

Finishing up in the bathroom, Sarah switched off the light and moved towards the bed. She kneeled alongside Chris who was lying flat out, naked except for the duvet bunched across legs, reading what she assumed was the hotel magazine only to find upon closer inspection that it was in fact one of her medical journals. She giggled as she grabbed the moisturiser from the bedside table and began rubbing a small amount up and down her arms, regarding him as his nose creased up in apparent disgust at something he’d just read. 

“Did you know the body has ten times more microorganisms living in it than actual human cells?! That’s bacteria, Sarah. Living, gross bacteria. All over us.” he looked at her, shock and horror crossing his fine, perfect features. She wasn’t sure whether to pat him on the head or laugh.

“It’s mostly good bacteria, though. Only, like, 1% of it is bad for us.”

“And when exactly were you going to tell me about this?!”

She creased up laughing and flopped on to her side next to him. “It’s all information that’s out there for the world to see. Remind me not to tell you about eyelashes.”

“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever removed from somebody’s ass?” he asked.

“What? Why is that always a question people want an answer to?”

“I don’t know. It’s just weird. Humans are weird.” he muttered, turning back to the pages in front of him. She was glad he had chosen one without pictures. That was the last thing she wanted to see before falling asleep.

“So, have you learned something new?” she asked, curling her legs under the duvet.

“I have. I think you should test me and if I get a question wrong, you can do whatever you like to me. Deal?” he asked, smirking. She shyly smiled and he tossed the book onto the floor. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She repeated. She watched as his eyes slowly travelled down her body. It was unreasonable how much he managed to disarm her with only a look.

His hand reached out to gently caress the side of her thigh, nudging the duvet slightly down before moving back up to her hip, a ticklish area he’d picked up on the last time they were together. He leaned in and kiss her on the side of her jaw, so feather-like and soft she barely felt it if not for his warm breath she could feel on her neck.

“You smell nice.” he whispered, looking at her from underneath his eyelashes. “We could have showered together, y’know? Save the planet?”

As much as she was getting used to the little things he would do when they were alone, rubbing her arm, tucking hair behind her ears, saying nice things about how pretty she looked, having him here in such close proximity with no else around to distract them or force them into the light...it was getting risky. Not that Chris ever pushed her, mind. He’d been nothing but understanding and respectful and she was grateful for that but also growing concerned he was perhaps a little...bored. Why else would he drive over state lines to see her. None of this was normal and the more time went by, the more she became fretful of what they were doing.

“What are you thinking about?” he kissed her shoulder. “Is it dirty? If it’s dirty, I wanna know about it.”

Sarah smiled and placed her hand on the side of his face, running her fingers gently over his beard. He’d thoroughly given up shaving but she liked how soft it still felt under her finger tips and judging by the breath he released as he closed his eyes, so did he, relaxing into her hand. He kissed her again. She was hoping he’d take charge so she could put off talking to him a little longer but instead, he refrained from pushing them any further and leaned back a little, looking into her eyes. “Talk to me.”

She could feel his hand move slowly and deliberately up her arm until he reached the back of her neck, his fingers playing with the loose strands of hair that had fallen from her messy bun. There was no getting away from this.

“You know you can tell me anything, right? It’s OK for you to tell me what you want.” She could feel his breath on her skin, his voice low and rough. His fingers moved again and she felt them touch her lips, one of them running back and forth over her lower lip until she parted them ever so slightly and his finger softly dipped inside her mouth. He seemed to like that and kissed her again, a little harder this time.

“Just keep kissing me.” she whispered, relieved that se finally got some words out.

He smiled at her, satisfied with her response, and kissed her again. Slow, wet, a kind of kiss that was full of promise of what he wanted to do and it made her whole body thrum with anticipation.

One hand now resting on the bed beside her and the other moved from her cheek back down to her thigh. She was frozen to the spot, this man focussed on her so intently, prepared to give her whatever she asked for, whatever she needed, expressing so much in a kiss that she didn’t register when her hand began moving slowly, grazing a finger ever so slightly over the waistline of her shorts.

“...and what else?”

A little more, he moved his hand until his fingers dipped inside her underwear until he felt her skin, hot to the touch. She broke the kiss momentarily to let out a breath, one hand resting on the back of his neck for leverage as he continued tenderly moving his fingers until he got to where he wanted to be. Feeling her wet for him seemed to spark something inside and she felt him push her carefully until she was lying back on the bed, head just off the pillow, and he leaned over her. He adjusted his hand ever so slightly until she could feel his fingers pressing at her entrance before moving in small circular motions, riling her up.

“Look at me, honey.” he whispered, his voice rough and turned on as he wanted her grabbing at the covers as he stroked her. She tried to but she couldn’t stop her eyes from closing again, zoned out with only his smooth and confident movements to focus on. It was almost getting too much with him hitting her at just the right spot for her to lose herself completely when, just like that, he pulled his hand away and grabbed both sides of her underwear to pull them down and off her legs. The next thing she remembered was the feel of him skilfully grabbing her from underneath her thighs, his tongue swiftly taking over.

It didn’t take long for her to feel like was she coming undone and him feeling proud of himself. She couldn’t fight it and with one arm draped across her lower tummy, he certainly had not intention of letting her get away. Any feelings of awkwardness were soon a thing of the past as she let the gentle, unbridled bliss he was giving her wash over her completely. She honestly couldn’t remember ever feeling anything like this before, she was so out of it. He was covering her completely, her wetness mixing with his own, his beard rubbing against her smooth skin adding another level of pleasure. 

She ran her fingers through his hair, messing it up. His tongue hit her clit again and again causing her to give him a short, sharp pull. His groan was so filthy and deep from within him, she felt it reverberate through her, raising goose bumps up and down her skin.

He wanted her on the edge as much as he felt he was. He wanted her to want him, to tell him exactly what she wanted him to do. He wanted her on fire. He wanted to hear her beg.

Just as she was on the edge for a second time, he stopped and blew softly across her wisps of hair. He chuckled when he heard what sounded like a quiet yet frustrated groan leave her lips, followed by a chuckle, something innocent and familiar. Her hands loosened from his hair as they stared into each other’s eyes, their mutual breathlessness the only sound they could hear.

“Does that feel good?” he whispered, the breath from his words scorching her skin. He moved his tongue just a little lower, not breaking eye contact, and she felt him dip ever so slightly inside of her, his arm wrapped around her thigh and the pad of his thumb taking care of the rest. He did this a second time, then a third, and when he returned to pressing his tongue over her clit, drawing her into his mouth, she was soon grabbing at him in any way she could in a futile attempt to take the edge off the orgasm that was coming at her like a freight train.

She was close. He knew she was so close now and he held his arms tightly around her to keep her close to him. One more swipe of his tongue right....there...and she was gone.

When her breathing even out, she slowly opened her eyes to see him move up and over her, placing soft, wet kisses on her hip, her tummy, her neck, and finally on her lips. He seemed cautious to kiss her, unsure of whether she wanted him to but she grabbed his face with both hands to pull him back down to her, kissing him as passionately as she could manage with what felt like no energy. She could taste herself and it was so much more erotic than she could ever have imagined. 

She felt him smile into the kiss as he carefully settled his body on top of hers, allowing her to wrap her legs around him. He moved the hair that was sticking to her forehead and stroked her face with one finger, gently mapping her eye and her nose and her cheek. She couldn’t reconcile this being the same man who had minutes earlier been so dominant. He had so clearly wanted to say something at that point if only his hardness hadn’t been so distracting. He mover one arm under her neck, using the other hand to move hair from where it had clung to the side of her face. Holding her as close to him as possible and feeling blissful when he felt her legs wrap around his own, he entered her and held still, enjoying the moment.

“We should’ve done this years ago.” he spoke and for a brief moment, without realising, she was pulled from their intimacy, a pang of guilt taking its place.

He was too busy pushing into her, needing whatever she had left to give him. He grabbed at the back of her neck to keep her in place, his face buried into her hair. She felt her skin heat up all over from his breath as he panted at her side. It was more frantic than he’d wanted it to be as he groaned and moaned and pushed his whole weight into her with force. It was really all she could do to just hang on to him as he fucked her deeper, as he surged towards his own orgasm, then letting go when she felt him shudder insider her minutes later. He sounded helpless and as much as he tried to hold himself up from collapsing on her, he soon gave up trying and laid his head on her shoulder.

His warm breath continued covering her skin as she ran her hand gently over the back of his head. She felt him chuckle a vibration into the top of her arm before a wet kiss landed just underneath her ear, a place he had deigned his own after he realised how sensitive she was on that particular spot.

Finally rolling off her to lie on his back, he kept his arm stretched across her lower tummy and rubbed his fingers across the apex of her thigh. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed in this position but at some point he leaned over her to turn the bedside light off plunging the room into complete darkness and they continued to lie there in silence not really sure if the other was asleep or not.

He eventually turned onto his side to face her, keeping a firm grip on her waist. He was across her pillow and she could practically feel the flutter of his eyelashes as he watched her in the dark, a soft outline gradually appearing as his eyes adjusted to the blackness of the room, making out her features. she felt his hand move up and down her ribcage and over the inside of her elbow, another sensitive spot that made her shudder and him chuckle again when he realised she was in fact still awake.

She turned onto her side to face him and his hand moved to her lower back where it finally rested over her hip. She pushed her leg in between his and he seemed content and comfortable in how they were existing in this space, both aware they didn’t have to worry about getting up any time soon. He was running his fingers up and down her spine in slow, circular motions and it felt wonderful. Too wonderful. And there was that guilt again.

“What will you do tomorrow?” she asked.

He took a deep breath in contemplation at her unexpected question. “Gym looks pretty good. I have a book and a couple of scripts, too. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I know.” she murmured but he knew she was dwelling on something.

“I wanna be here for you if you need anything and if you don’t, you won’t even know I’m around. I promise.”

“I know that, too.”

She could sense him smile at her even in their dark. “Good.” he said. “It feels nice knowing I’ve made a good decision for a change.”

*

[windstorm64]

Attack on Discourse I Guess

I swear to god if I see one more post on tumblr dot com saying that Attack on Titan is “pro-fascism” or “pro-imperialism” I’m gonna lose my freaking...

*deep breath*

Listen, I absolutely want people to be critical of the media they consume, especially from Japan. Due to their role in WW2 and their glorification of past military actions from their conservative side, there’s a lot of Japanese media that contains themes and imagery that would (ideally) not at all fly in the west. Sometimes it’s harmless, being simply misguided, other times it’s bad, containing some pretty horrific subtext regardless of the author's actual intention. Attack on Titan absolutely does contain themes of imperialism, xenophobia, propaganda, extreme nationalism, and more. But the all important distinction here is that Attack on Titan does it

with.

a.

purpose.

It’s NOT condoning them. Just like how Lolita isn’t promoting pedophilia, or the clockwork orange isnt promoting whatever the heck that movie is about, simply having these themes present in your story does not mean they are being condoned.

Do I blame people for not understanding that at first? No. AoT takes its sweet time when developing its themes, and is constantly overturning what you thought you knew about its worldviews. That’s just the kind of story it is. It will go incredibly into detail about a plethora of opposing views, some being downright deplorable, and takes extra care to make them all look inviting and sweet. You don’t realize it at the time, but what seems to be the only right answer at the time is secretly ushering in the worst that man can muster. That’s how it is in real life. That’s how these evils get into real society; “with thunderous applause”. The difference here is that AoT, even if it takes 100 chapters to do so, slowly but surely will overturn all these themes and let the right way show itself over the course of the series. It doesn’t hold your hand, it doesn’t sugarcoat it, and I’ll even admit that I was a little nervous during some parts over what exactly the author was trying to say, but every single time Isayama chose to let the reader decide what was right in the moment, until AoT’s own in-universe marketplace of ideas eventually worked as intended and snuffed out the unsavory.

Does that mean you personally have to enjoy seeing it? No. The marketplace of ideas approach often does not work in real life (punching nazis is good) and seeing it used in fiction might not be your cup of tea.

Does that mean I think all of its themes are handled well or tactfully? Absolutely not. There are some stories that I think are handled VERY poorly, with the redemption of Magath’s character, for example, being downright horrendous. But those aren’t the complaints I hear from you people. All I hear are the same tired arguments that have been countered in-universe time and time again.

You think the survey corps are an allegory promoting imperialism? Then you’ll love the part where the real villains are revealed to be actual greedy governments invading foreign lands to oppress and murder the populace and steal valuable resources. And how the main characters, in-turn to learning that there’s more people out there in the world, switch their goals from expanding their territory to understanding and allying with the outside population.

The titans represent xenophobia? Then you’ll love the internal conflicts of the main cast when they realize that the titans are just like them, and the constant struggle thereafter against the prejudiced countries outside the walls who seek to punish them for their ethnicity.

Nationalism? Propaganda? The story has just spent the better part of 2 arcs displaying just how evil, dangerous, and reality-warping these things can be.

Fascism? Y’all’s favorite arc would probably be the one where the main cast literally overthrows their own corrupt fascist government because it was, in fact, fascist and corrupt.

German influences glorify nazism? Germany does not equal nazi. The author is clearly a fan of all parts of German history, and is a fan of war memorabilia in general (which admittedly becomes pretty risky when looking through the lens of conservative Japan’s notoriously glorified WW2 outlook), but nothing about it supports Nazism, or any of their ideals. Misguided? Perhaps, I can’t say I’m a fan. But it doesn’t denote anything about the author's character that we can reasonably glean. Eventually the true villains of Aot were given clear similarities to Nazis, clarifying Isayama's true moral priorities.

And before any of y’all start trying to point out what the author said in the past- I KNOW what the author has said. Or rather, what he was rumored to have said. But even if the rumors are true, and that shitty ignorant take on Twitter about Japan and Korea was from him, it's 100% the kind of thing that can be called out and learned from. The tweet was like, what? 10 years ago? Maybe more? Even if it was him he has clearly been educated on the deeper implications of his statement, as evidenced by the way these themes are handled in his story. Attack on Titan directly condemns eugenics on multiple occasions. It tackles it in a surprisingly on-the-nose way too, compared to how the series handled its serious themes prior to that point.

That's why I WANT y’all to be critical of the media you intake. So you CAN call out the glorification of unsavory themes and bring them to the attention of those in charge of them. Because that’s how people learn and grow. That’s how you create an educated populace that understands the implications of the things they create. I am 110% convinced that all these themes were tackled in AoT BECAUSE of all the criticism he got in the past. 10 years is a long time, and we are still getting new developments to this day that challenge the themes introduced in the first couple of chapters. Whether or not these themes were planned to be tackled from the start, or were introduced later on after being called out, is something we’ll probably never know. But please do yourselves a favor and learn what the heck you’re talking about, and the context around it, before going off for years about misguided claims. Don’t cheapen words that should be reserved for the most grievous of behaviors when you really just want to make a point.

Attack on Titan is a brutal nuanced story that shows off the worst that humanity has to offer, and how hard it is to do the right thing in a world where the right thing doesn’t always work. But taking an honest, elongated approach to exploring how these themes interact with humanity and society is NOT the same as promoting it. If you like your stories more black and white, where the good and bad of real world themes are more clearly defined as opposed to AoT’s more nihilistic and gray approach to morality, then by all means go enjoy that other story. I’m not trying to convince anyone to like it. I’m not expecting everyone to enjoy seeing these themes shoved in your face every installment. And I’m certainly not expecting anyone to understand all of this right away, hell I’m constantly arguing with dudebro AoT fans on reddit who are SURPRISED that Armin and the Alliance are taking an anti-genocide stance. And somehow I’m the crazy one for seeing this plot line coming for literal years. There’s simply just a lot more to this story than you can understand at a glance, and I implore anyone who thinks that’s they can simplify the real world themes dealt with here in such a menial way to seriously reconsider.

You are welcome to dislike Attack on Titan. You are more than welcome to criticize it’s possible mismanagement of sensitive real world themes. I am not so enamored by Isayama’s writing to expect a young manga artist to be the forefront of knowledge on such complicated, disturbing topics. But please, cut it out with the crazy claims. I’ve been hearing these things for so many years and it’s all the same. AoT has risen to become one of the most popular anime/manga of the current era. If the story was really as deplorable as you claim it would not have become as popular as it has been. The fans aren’t stupid (well, not all of them. Together, we can beat the reddit dudebros and save the world). This didn’t happen by mistake. The fans aren’t ignorant of the messages it’s sending. Attack on Titan is just... good! Even if I can’t get you to agree with me on that, at least look at it honestly for what it is, and what it’s trying to be. It’s really, really, not at all what you think, or what other tumblr users are trying to get you to believe.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Artemis Fowl

Since the early 2000s, Artemis Fowl has been languishing in development hell, and it really is a mystery as to why. The series has everything you could possibly want for a blockbuster young adult franchise: it’s a charming blend of science and fantasy with rich worldbuilding and mythology, it has enjoyable and even complex characters who go through great character arcs over the course of the series, it has an enjoyable major antagonist, an insufferable smug villain protagonist who goes through a stellar redemption arc over the course of the series, and tons of crazy heists that combine scheming and fairy magic. There was no reason this couldn’t have existed as a competitor to the Harry Potter series, but alas, it was not to be. The young adult fantasy franchise languished for decades in development hell, until finally Disney pulled it out and put Kenneth Branagh at the helm. Finally, we were going to get the Artemis Fowl adaptation we deserved!

Except we didn’t.

Artemis Fowl is legitimately one of the worst adaptations of any work of fiction ever. It has been held up alongside The Last Airbender and The Lightning Thief as part of the Unholy Trinity of terrible adaptations, and I’m not even going to try and pretend that this “Honor” isn’t well and truly earned. This film is an utterly abominable bastardization of the beloved franchise, to the point where this feels like an entirely different story that had familiar names slapped on it at the last second. If you want to know what horrific extents this film has butchered the story and characters, read onward, but there’s no way I’m going to pretend this film isn’t awful right off the bat.

There is literally nothing in this film that works. Nothing at all. Starting from the opening scene, the establishing shots, you can tell things are wrong – there are news people around Fowl Manor? Mulch is being interrogated? What is going on? The film from the word go is simply making one thing absolutely and abundantly clear: this is not the Artemis Fowl you know. The film goes out of its way to do the opposite of the franchise, merely using names and vague concepts in an attempt to sucker fans into watching it. Butler’s first name, an emotional reveal from the third book, is common knowledge; Opal Koboi, a cunning and threatening major villain who was the antagonist for almost every novel starting with the second, is here reduced to basically a personification of the voice on the phone from Scream; Root, once a short-tempered man who was hard on Holly as a method of tough love to push her to be the very best LEP had to offer to prove women belonged on the force, is here a woman who, while just as angry as ever, robs Holly of a major part of her arc and reduces her to plucky female sidekick. And even outside of that, as its own thing, the movie is just utterly incomprehensible. The story is rushed and confusing, with lots of exposition and action but with no context or cohesion. Things happen and things go from scene to scene, but none of it makes any sort of sense. A character will switch allegiances within a few minutes, characters will somehow find a way to survive deadly attacks offscreen… the worst offender is a character death they try to push off as emotional, despite there being no reason to care for this character, and when all hope seems lost, a deus ex machina saves the day! My wife, who is unfamiliar with the series, and I, a huge fan, both struggled to figure out what was going on at any given point; the movie is really that bad at communicating what is happening, which is even more baffling because the film is a pathetic hour and a half in length, a distressingly short amount of time to establish a new science-fantasy franchise of this scale.

The characters are almost all terrible. Artemis is the standout with how awful he is; no longer the cunning criminal masterminds of the book, Artemis here is more of a somewhat smug little brat who is overly emotional and, worst of all, NICE. He’s so nice in fact that by the end of the film he has managed to speedrun his character development and arcs with Mulch and Holly, who consider him their close friend and ally. Butler is pretty bad here as well, mostly because he is given almost nothing to do and is seemingly only there because he was in the book. In fact, his crowning moment – when he took on the troll – is instead given to Artemis and even Holly, with Butler ending up severely injured. It’s a bit nasty that they changed Butler to be black and then had his (white) master steal his greatest moment; it’s giving me flashbacks to Kazaam. Opal is hit pretty bad as well; being made the big bad of this loose adaptation of the first book’s plot – which is amusingly one of the few books she had absolutely no role in – wouldn’t be so rough if she was more of a presence and not just some vague, hooded figure who threatens Artemis over the phone and generally does nothing to warrant being an adaptation of the baddest bitch in the series. She’s rather ineffectual and they even try and give her a sort of sympathetic motivation, one where she resents humans for pushing her kind underground. It really is a disgusting waste of a character who could easily rival heavy hitters like Voldemort in the awesome and theatrically evil department.

Holly is almost okay, but her entire arc and a big chunk of her narrative purpose is robbed by making Commander Root a woman. Root, played by Judi Dench, is honestly one of the better characters since Dench has Root dropping lines like “Top o’ the morning to ya” with gravelly deadpan seriousness which makes the character unintentionally hilarious, but the cheap laughs don’t really make up for butchering the story of one of fiction’s finest ladies. As a side note, they have made Holly 100% white despite her skin being described as nut brown rather frequently in the book, and the now white Holly together with Artemis steal away Butler’s biggest moment. And that’s not even getting into how they neutered Juliet, who has also been race lifted but was turned into a child who barely appeared in the film. I’m not usually one to toss about racism accusations, but there’s a lot of red flags here that Branagh’s usual colorblind casting just doesn’t excuse.

The most consistently enjoyable performance is Josh Gad’s as Mulch. From the moment he was cast, I knew he’d do a good job and capture the spirit of the character, and he does! ...sort of. The decision to have Mulch be a giant dwarf and narrate the story in a crappy Batman impression while also violating literally the most important law of fairy culture (don’t tell the humans anything about us) by spilling the beans to M16 is unbearably stupid, and a lot of his jokes are just relentlessly unfunny. But I think that Gad does leak a bit of that Mulch charm at a few points, and it’s apparent he at least somewhat gets his character, which is not something that can be said for anyone else in this film. Sadly, much like his standout performance as Lefou in the live action Beauty and the Beast, he can’t possibly save the trainwreck of a film he’s in.

I guess I’m not entirely surprised by this film. I mean, a lot of quality young adult literature from the past two decades has been horrifically mangled in the wake of Harry Potter – Inkheart, The Golden Compass, The Lightning Thief, Ender’s Game, and Eragon – so this movie really isn’t an anomaly. But it is the culmination of a horrible trend. This is the zenith of horrible young adult adaptations, or perhaps I should say the nadir of adaptations as a whole? For all the flak I could give those other adaptations, on some fundamental level they still understood something about the source material. Ender’s Game still understood it could not erase the ending where children are revealed to be being conscripted to perform the ethnic cleansing of an alien race. Eragon couldn’t completely ruin Saphira, try as it might. The Lightning Thief… well, I mean, I guess the Medusa scene was mostly faithful. But Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl goes out of its way to be the opposite of its literary counterpart that there is no way to justify even saying it is based on the book by Eoin Colfer; it would be like having a movie about kids hanging out at the mall and doing mundane stuff, except they’re all named Jesus and Peter and Paul and then saying it’s based on the Bible. Just using names doesn’t mean anything, you actually have to use the themes and characterizations too, and this movie does none of that.

This movie is most comparable to The Emoji Movie. Neither of these works really deserve to be called a “Film” since they are basically whatever it is they’re trying so desperately to be stripped down to the bare essentials. The Emoji Movie is the most basic, by-the-numbers animated adventure film with a “be yourself” message you could ever hope to see, with a story so absolutely basic that just watching the trailer will allow you to predict the every motion of the plot. Artemis Fowl on the other hand is the most cliche-ridden fantasy epic franchise-starter you could imagine, and that’s if you’re able to penetrate the ridiculously dense and cluttered story and are able to make sense of what’s going on. I can think of absolutely no one this film could ever appeal to. There’s not a single redeeming thing about it. The movie is flashy, trashy junk that should never have been released, and Disney honestly did the right thing by releasing this on their streaming service because it would be outright disgusting to charge movie ticket prices for this tripe. The fact Disney has more faith in the eternally-delayed New Mutants theatrically speaks volumes about the quality of this film.

I can’t in good conscious say that this is the worst film of all time. F4ntastic is probably a much worse butchering of characters than this film; Disaster Movie is much more horrendously offensive and unfunny than this; hell, Chicken Little is probably a worse Disney movie because as awful as everyone in this film is, at least they aren’t Buck Cluck! But I don’t think there’s a single movie I hate more than this one. Lucy can finally move over and sleep easy knowing that the fact it’s not based on a pre-existing work has finally saved it from the #1 spot on my worst list; Artemis Fowl is now the reigning champ. Kenneth Branagh should be ashamed of himself for making and releasing this (and doubly ashamed for having the gall to unironically compare his slaughtering of Artemis Fowl’s character to Michael Corleone), Disney should be shamed for putting more money into this film than they did into BLM charities, and I hope that Eoin Colfer finds whatever he was paid worth it to see his greatest creation butchered and disrespected like this.

[izzyfandoms]

Chosen - Chapter One

(This is a Gender-Swapped Sanders Sides high school au)

SUMMARY: Logan Berry, Dee Ceite, Patricia Foster, Virginia Picani and Regina and Rena Prince are all 16-year-old high school students. They live relatively normal lives, with ordinary lessons and ordinary crushes and ordinary families, until one day a monster shows up and attacks them after class, and everything suddenly changes.

SHIPS: Moxiety, Logince, Dukeceit

WARNINGS: Minor violence, minor sexual implications (Remus), Remus being Remus, swearing, sympathetic Deceit, sympathetic Remus

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @ajdraws0430 @phantomofthesanderssides @creativity-killed-thekitten @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game

Masterpost

NEXT CHAPTER

“Does this lipstick match my eyeshadow?” Regina spun around in her chair, away from the mirror, to pout her lips at her twin sister, Rena, who was standing on her bed, lacing up her boots.

“Who cares if they match?” Rena jumped off the bed, running her fingers through her unbrushed hair and bouncing over to Regina’s side of the room. “What matters is whether or not the lipstick tastes good.”

“It’s not flavoured.”

Rena laughed, picking up the tube of lipstick and flicking off the lid. “Everything has a flavour if you’re not a coward,” She exclaimed, and, with that, she took a bite of lipstick, removing almost half of it, chewing on it thoughtfully as her sister screamed at her.

“Rena!” Regina screeched, snatching it back and holding it protectively to her chest. “That was brand new!”

Rena grinned, unremorseful, showing off two rows of lipstick-stained teeth. Regina sighed, putting the cap back on and putting it back in the drawer of her desk, pushing it shut.  

She looked her sister up and down, one eyebrow raised. “Are you really wearing that to school?”

“What’s wrong with my outfit?”

Regina crossed her arms. “It’s identical to mine! The only differences are the colours and the fact that I wear it so much better than you!”

It was true, Rena was wearing a green, black and silver short-sleeved dress that was identical in every way except colour to Regina’s red, white and gold one.

Rena blew a raspberry, marching over to their shared closet and pulling out a denim jacket. It was stained with colours that would never wash out, and was one of the ugliest jackets either of them had ever seen, but that was why it was her favourite.

She pulled it on and grinned again, an unchewed piece of lipstick falling from her lips and landing on the carpet. Rena crushed it underfoot. “See, now we look different! Plus, my boots are so much cooler than yours. Hey, what if I pulled out someone’s intestines and wore them like a scarf, would that suit me?”

Regina ignored that last part, but still wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Rena, your boots don’t even match! One’s green and one’s pink, they don’t go together at all.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and spun around, picking her phone up from the dresser. “Did I absorb all the fashion sense in the womb, you… early 2000s reject.”

“Is that the best you got, you wrinkled duck’s penis?”

“Okay, that one was weird, even for you.”

Rena pouted exaggeratedly, slouching. “Uh, everyone knows a duck’s penis looks super weird, it’s like, common knowledge or something.”

“It is most certainly not common knowledge, you’re just a weirdo.” Regina then began to scroll through her phone, eyes lighting up slightly.

Rena straightened up, moving to see what her sister was looking at. It was exactly what she’d expected it to be – a picture of a school schedule, one that most certainly wasn’t hers.

“Ugh,” Rena groaned. “You’re looking at Logan’s schedule again. Isn’t that a bit stalkery? You complain when I talk about all my future crimes, and yet you do this? Hypocrite. I hate you.”

Regina glanced up. “Okay, first of all: you, like, go into such graphic detail about how you’ll murder people and eat their hearts, it’s disgusting. And, second of all: you cannot talk. You literally ate a photo of Dee, like, yesterday, and it definitely wasn’t the first time you’ve done that. You shouldn’t eat paper, you Queen of (eating) Hearts”

Rena blew another raspberry, wrapping her fingers around Regina’s wrist and beginning to drag her sister towards the bedroom door, picking up her school bag on the way. It was neon green and horrifically ugly, as expected. There were dozens of ripped stickers stuck to the straps.

“C’mon, Gina, we’re gonna be late for school. You can think about Logan and have some alone time later.”

Regina raised an eyebrow. “Have some-” Her face twisted in disgust when she realised what Rena was referring to. “Rena, what? No, I’m not- that’s gross! I don’t wanna talk about that, you’ve got to stop bringing it up!” She yanked her hand out of her sister’s grip, but Rena just shrugged.

“It’s a natural human thing, nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I recently-”

“Nope! No, no, nope. I refuse to listen to this.” Regina picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, before placing her fingers in her ears and screwing her eyes shut. “La, La, La. I can’t hear you!”

Rena hummed in thought, before cupping her hands around her mouth and shouting. “Hey, what if you and Logan fucked!”

Regina screeched in offended horror, eyes opening to glare at Rena, just as their dad, Philip, walked in. There was only a slight look of disappointment on his face.

“Girls, please,” He sighed. “My little Duchess, my precious Princess, what did we talk about?”

“No inappropriate language in the house.” Rena droned, pouting. “But, dad, I was just-”

He held up a finger in front of her mouth. “Now, now, no arguments. You’re going to be late for school if we don’t leave in a few minutes. Your lunches are in the fridge and there’s toast on the counter, you can eat it in the car.”

Rena sighed – though she was mostly annoyed at the thought of school, not their father’s interruption – as Regina smirked victoriously.

“Come on, oh, evil twin of mine, I wanna make it in time to meet Pat before school.”

***

A few hours had passed since morning, and the twins were in their final period – Mr Sanders’ chemistry class. They were sharing a desk at the back of the classroom, and were both paying more attention to scribbling their crushes’ names in their respective notebooks than to the lesson itself, as usual.

“Regina Prince, Rena Prince,” Mr Sanders called, and the girls looked up in unison. “Logan Berry and Dee Ceite, can the four of you please stay behind after class? I have some things I need to talk to you about.”

Dee and Logan were sat at the front of the room: the two girls having been actually paying attention to the lesson. They glanced back at the twins at the announcement, looking them over and the sisters blushed lightly as they made momentary eye contact.

Dee was very traditionally beautiful, with vitiligo covering the left side of her face, heterochromia, long black hair and an elegance about her that Rena found entrancing. She’d been in the same class as the twins since elementary school, and Rena’s crush had existed for just as long, never fading. Logan had perfectly neat hair that went just past chin-length, square glasses and an intelligence that surpassed that of almost everyone else in the school. Regina was almost certainly in love with her.

Rena leant over to whisper in her sister’s ear.  

“Dee looks like such a snack today. I’d let her slit my throat with that eyeliner. I hope she slits my throat with that eyeliner.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Could you be any weirder?” Rena opened her mouth, but Regina interrupted her before she could speak. “Okay, no, it’s you. Of course, you can be weirder.”

The student sitting closest to them gave the twins a weird look, pulling up the hood of his hoodie, before turning back to his work. In Rena’s opinion, he should have been used to this by now, as he’d been sitting near them all year.

Mr Sanders cleared his throat, and the sisters glanced back at him. He raised an eyebrow, before turning back to the power-point.  

“What sounds better?” Regina whispered to her sister. “Regina Berry or Logan Prince?”

Rena hummed in thought, picking at her teeth and flicking a crumb of lipstick to the ground. “Regina Berry,” She decided. “I don’t want people to know we’re related.”

Regina nodded in agreement. “Smart, I don’t want to be associated with you either.”

After a few more words exchanged, they went back to scribbling in their notebooks. Regina had finally decided to make some notes on the lesson they were supposed to be paying attention to, but Rena had instead elected to work on the next chapter of her disgustingly graphic Toy Story 3 fanfiction. It was horrendous, and insanely popular online.

The lesson ended shortly afterwards, and the twins packed up their things, though they stayed in the classroom as their teacher had instructed.  

Regina sat on the edge of her desk, crossing her legs and smoothing out the skirt of her dress. She and Rena had chosen to sit by the window, so she often stared out at the seemingly endless forest at the edge of the school grounds. The thick tree branches created a dense canopy of leaves that her eyes couldn’t breach, and she often found herself wondering what lay beneath them. It was unspoken rule across town that nobody entered the forest – people went missing there, on practically a monthly basis – but she and Rena had often stood at its edges, wondering what adventures lay beyond.

She shifted closer to the window. It had been raining earlier, so there was condensation creeping at the corners. A smile played at the corners of her lips as she pressed her finger to the glass and doodled a heart.

“What do you think Mr Sanders wants?”

Regina jolted in surprise, spinning around and coming face to face with Logan. She was stood beside a grinning Rena, who was making obscene gestures with her fingers that Dee had absolutely noticed by now; she was covering her mouth with a gloved hand as she chuckled. Fortunately, Logan was far too oblivious to notice or understand, saving Regina her last shred of decency. Mr Sanders was nowhere to be seen.  

“No clue!” Rena answered for her, hair bouncing with her constant movement. “What do you think, Dee? Do you think he plans to kill us?”

Dee shrugged. “I doubt he plans to murder us, but we don’t exactly have much in common.”

“Yeah,” Regina agreed, looking around again, brow creased. “Where did Mr Sanders go, anyway? I didn’t see him leave.”

“He said he’d be back in a few minutes.” Logan adjusted her glasses. “He also said there’d be two more students joining us, though he didn’t specify who.”

“Wonder if we did anything wrong?” Rena piped up, moving to sit on a desk, swinging her legs. “I mean, yesterday I switched all the science textbooks with the language textbooks and all the English textbooks with the math ones, but I don’t think that’s it.”

Logan gave her a disbelieving look. “Why?”

“I’m a being of chaos.”

Dee looked like she was trying not to smile, and there was a definite fondness in her eyes as she stared at Rena. She looked like she was about to speak up, when the classroom door opened, and all four girls immediately turned in that direction.

Two girls their age walked in: Patricia Foster and Virginia Picani, better known to their friends as Pat and Virge. They’d been dating since middle school, and, if asked, Regina would definitely call them her OTP; she’d helped them get together after all.

Pat was short and liked to wear her hair in pigtails. Her wrists were always covered in hair-ties, and she mostly wore t-shirts and skirts with a pastel blue colour scheme. Her girlfriend, Virge, was her complete opposite – tall and lanky with short purple hair and a black and purple colour scheme. The pair were holding hands when they walked in, and Pat squealed when she spotted the four crowded around Regina and Rena’s desk.

“Regina!” Pat exclaimed. “Rena! Logan! Dee! My four favourite people!” She paused, before giving her girlfriend a smile. “Apart from you, of course, angel. Oh, and apart from my moms, too! But, other than that you’re my favourite.”

Virge gave a small smile back, squeezing Pat’s hand.

“Patricia, Virge.” Logan pushed her glasses further up her nose. “I assume you’re also here for Mr Sanders? He mentioned there were two more people coming.”

“Yup!” Patricia exclaimed, half-dragging Virge over to the group. “I dunno why we’re here, though.”

“Neither do we,” Dee said. “But he said he’d be back soon. I wonder if we’re in trouble.”

Pat’s expression dropped, her eyes widening. “We’re in trouble?” She squeaked. “I don’t wanna be in trouble! What-”

“I doubt we’re in trouble, Pat.” Virge interrupted, hesitating for a second before pressing a reassuring kiss to the back of her girlfriend’s hand. “You haven’t done anything wrong; all the teachers love you.”

“Aww!” Regina squealed, grinning widely. “You guys are, like, couple goals.”  

She tried not to glance at Logan, she really did, but she failed, of course, and the two made eye contact, before looking away in unison. Her plight was obviously noticeable, as Patricia giggled and Dee snorted. Rena made another obscene gesture that everyone politely ignored, though Pat glanced away uncomfortably.

About a minute passed, and the classroom door swung open again, Mr Sanders finally stepping back inside. There was a large ink stain on his shirt that hadn’t been there before, and he was carrying himself differently. It was… uncomfortable, to say the least.

He smiled – flat and lifeless – as he looked them over, stepping closer.

“Girls, it’s good to see you again.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “It’s only been a few minutes, Sir.”

“Perhaps.”

There was a whole minute of silence following that, and even Rena was fidgeting uncomfortably by the end of it.

“You know what,” Mr Sanders broke the silence, stretching and cracking his back. “I’ve never been very good at this part – I’m not much of an actor – so let’s just get this over with.” And, with that, he unhinged his jaw, and three inky black tentacles shot out from the back of his throat, each coated with spikes.

Regina yanked Logan out of their way just in time, as did Virge with Pat. Dee managed to dodge the third on her own, as Rena was too busy staring at their teacher with curious horror and possibly even minor jealousy to notice.  

Dee grabbed the back of Rena’s jacket, dragging her away from the monster and scrambling closer to the back of the room with the rest of the girls. Their teacher was stood between them and the door, they were cornered.

“What the fuck are you?” Rena asked in slight awe. Dee sighed, moving to grab the shorter girl’s wrist, ready to drag her out of danger again if necessary.

Mr Sanders chuckled darkly, the appendages retreating back down his throat. An ink-like substance dripped from his eyes, ears, mouth and nose, his hair was also coated with it, having been splattered by the ink-covered tentacles.  

“Does it matter?” He said smoothly. “You’re going to die anyway.”

The inky black liquid moved to coat his left arm, turning it into a much larger and much more menacing appendage with a giant claw at the end. It then jolted forward in a burst of speed, stretching inhumanly, snatching up Regina and tugging her towards him. She screamed, naturally, and even the monster winced at the ear-splitting sound.

“There’s no point in struggling.” He held her in place. “There’s no one close enough to hear you.”

His jaw unhinged again, but the black liquid formed hundreds of razor-sharp teeth instead this time, and he used his human arm – which was still abnormally strong – to move her head to the side, baring her neck.

She continued screaming and wriggling, and multiple black limbs had to burst from his chest to keep the other girls from trying to help her. The appendages were sticky like slime, and held the girls to the wall with no room for movement

“You’ll make a delicious meal.” He cackled deviously, moving slowly to savour it, his teeth just inches from her throat.

“No! No, please-” Regina begged, before being suddenly interrupted by a figure bursting through the window and landing at her feet.

It was a second storey window, making it slightly more impressive.

The figure stood up straight, revealing herself to be a woman with a messy ponytail, leather jacket, sunglasses and two large daggers, one in each hand. She used them to quickly slice off the appendages protruding from his chest, freeing the other girls and causing their teacher to writhe, scream and drop Regina.

Logan and Rena grabbed her arms immediately, tugging her back to the slightly safer area.  

“Remy Starlight.” The monster hissed, in a voice that most certainly wasn’t their teacher’s. “We meet again.”

She sighed loudly, irritated, dropping one of the daggers and pulling a large needle full of dark red liquid – blood, perhaps – from her pocket.

“Unfortunately.”

Then, before anyone, even the monster, could react, she plunged the needle into his neck, injecting all of its contents with one swift move, before yanking it out and stuffing it back into one of the pockets of her jeans, looking only mildly inconvenienced.  

The monster screamed in intense pain, falling to his knees, and, a few moments later, gallons of inky black liquid gushed from their teacher’s face – a horrifying sight, honestly, some of it even splashed on the terrified teenagers. It didn’t take long for it to finally finish leaving his body, and Mr Sanders collapsed to the ground, barely conscious. Remy hardly even reacted though, slicing her palm with the dagger she still held, and letting a few drops of blood hit the bubbling pool of ink. It hissed for a few moments, before dissolving entirely, and there were a few moments of silence before she turned to the teenagers, wiping a drop of inky blood from her face with her thumb and giving all six of them a simultaneous gay crisis.

“Are you girls okay?” She asked, picking up the dropped dagger and sheathing both of them, placing a hand on her hip. “None of you were bit, right? ‘Cos that would be, like, super bad.”

Logan was the first to speak up.

“Uh… no? I don’t believe so.”

Remy nodded slowly, humming in thought, before turning to the man on the floor, watching as he began to regain consciousness.

“Jeez, Tommy, I leave you alone for less than a day and you get possessed? That’s not very ‘chosen one’ of you.”

Thomas coughed, stumbling as she helped him up. “I’m not the chosen one, remember? That’s… that’s kinda the point.” His voice was rough, and traces of the inky liquid dripped from the corners of his mouth.

He looked up at his six stunned students, giving them a rather sheepish look.

“I’m sorry for that, girls. That’s not exactly how I wanted to introduce you to this.”  

[the-prophet-lemonade]

Hello! I recently read A Cold Night for Good Deeds (and cried a lot, thank you) and I was hoping you could drop some sweet, sweet meta on me. Or just tell me about your favorite scene(s) to write! Absolutely loved the fic - one of my new all time faves.

hello hello! i have so much fic meta i could talk about, i hope you know you’ve opened a can of worms hahahahaha (and if there’s anything you wanna know, please do just ask!) 

i’ll gladly talk about my favourite scenes though! i have a couple answers for this ...

1) chapter 14: sentinel finally has an emotional breakdown and magnus comes and finds him in the rain. this is one of the first scenes that i wrote for this whole fic and it’s one of my favourites because i just love seeing alec cry lmfaooooo and this is no exception, made even more satisfying for me by the horrendous build up to the moment, as we’ve gone chapter after chapter with alec compressing his emotions and trying to hold himself together. it’s cathartic to see him collapse, a true and despairing moment of weakness for him, and it’s made even more traumatic by magnus seeing him in this state ... and then saying those damning words to suggest he already knows sentinel is alec. it’s all very raw and messy and that’s the sort of emotional turmoil i love writing the most lol 

2) chapter 10: sentinel and nightlock’s first kiss on the rooftop, overlooking the city in the drizzle. i love this entire chapter, but this scene is one of my favourites because it is this moment of absolute quiet amidst a lot of chaos and hurt, confused feelings. they’re hidden away from the rest of the world, the only two people in the whole city who understand each other quite so well, and there’s no question about the affection they have for each other. this was a really important part of the story for me, establishing how alec’s world is a mess, but not the way he feels for nightlock. he is *so* sure about that, and hopefully this first kiss feels gentle and natural and as easy as breathing. i think it’s very beautiful, and i really tried to make the dialogue bookmarking the kiss just as intimate as the kiss itself.

3) chapter 5: the entire church sequence where sentinel and nightlock really realise for the first time the horror that they’re up against. if this fic was a tv show (as it is in my head), this would be the first big “set piece” and i really wanted to encapsulate that within the scene: i worked very hard on the description, the look of this immolated church, the sounds, the smell, the unreality, and i think it feels like a very rich scene because of it. i was also really excited about writing some proper horror in this fic, and i think this scene is one of the most gruesome and horrific! the image of the dead super suspended by the arms above the alter is meant to be nightmarish and unsettling (and symbolic) (and is also imagery stolen from the angels & demons movie hahahaha) and i really wanted to push myself with writing something viscerally uncomfortable. 

some honourable mentions include election night (ch 12) where magnus stays the night at alec’s apartment and he and alec have that exchange: “i think i’m bad at loving people” / “you don’t know that. you don’t know what being loved by you feels like” ... ooFT THE ROMANCE (this scene was also a very last minute addition to the fic, i think 2 days before the chapter was published, so i’m really extra happy with it!)

also the sentinel getting shot/waking up in magnus’ appartment sequence in ch 10 (hell, basically all of ch 10, it’s my fave overall chapter) ... it’s high melodrama ... and of course, we later find out that it’s especially important for magnus understanding who sentinel is ... 

and also also the scene where nightlock saves alec from the pyro in ch 7 and then later in the same chapter, nightlock takes alec up to the roof of that really tall skyscraper and they have their lil date ... that scene is very colourful and vivid in my head and i like it lots! it encapsulates the feeling of the fic as i wanted it!  

[grahamsdogs]

A tidbit about Jeffrey Dahmer, Hannibal Lecter and cannibalism. 

Everyone knows that cannibalism is one of the biggest taboos in our modern society, even though there’s evidence that it has always been practiced for one reason or another. It is known that in some societies, the consumption of human flesh can be considered an important part of the grieving process, for example. It was also common to consume the body of your enemies as a celebration of victory during war. The thing is, cannibalism has always been there. Even when it is used as a last resort by people literally dying from starvation, the practice is still often considered absolutely repulsive and shocking to most people.

What’s really interesting to me though, is that no matter what other kind of deviant behavior comes along with it, every single one of them seems to pale when compared with the simple act of eating human flesh. The most fascinating example to me is Jeffrey Dahmer. Now, Jeff is one of the most fascinating serial killers of all times for so many reasons, but let’s focus on what he actually did to earn such a reputation. Dahmer was accused of murdering 17 men. Men who were raped, drugged, dismembered and disemboweled by him. Their corpses were mutilated, violated, disrespected in the most horrific ways. Jeffrey photographed these men in various states of dismemberment; he had sex with these men’s viscera. He preserved body parts of his victims, including their penises so he could perform oral sex in them later. Dahmer cut off one of his victim’s face and used it as a mask. He also wore the scalp of one of them while masturbating. Also, shortly before getting caught, Dahmer ate the flesh of a few of his victims. Now, cannibalism was not something Jeffrey was into during most of his life as a killer—he didn’t get off on the act of eating these men, and what led him to try it wasn’t even the crave for the taste of human flesh. Still, Jeffrey Dahmer is known, to this day, as the Milwaukee Cannibal. 

The question is: why was the cannibalism, something that wasn’t even a norm for Jeffrey, so crucial to determine who he was to the public? Jeff’s list of deviant sexual behavior is so incredibly long and increasingly disturbing; so why was the act of tasting his victim’s flesh so important? Why were people so scandalized by that detail, that Jeff’s brief attempt to cannibalize would be how he would be remembered to this day? And the most fascinating question: why did Dahmer himself seemed to subconsciously agree with the popular perception that, out of all his horrendous crimes, cannibalism was the only one that was absolutely unforgivable?

When Jeff was being interrogated, he willingly described in detail all of his crimes to the officers leading the interrogatory. He gave to the officers every little detail about how he’d murdered those men. He didn’t feel shame or any great deal of remorse when describing his sexual arousal when he performed all those atrocious things with their dead bodies. Jeffrey Dahmer gave them a complete narrative of his actions in what was described as a monotonous, mechanical way. The exception? Oh, yes. First of all, Dahmer never said a thing about the cannibalism. He told the officers—who Jeff considered his friends— nothing about the fact that he had tasted some of his victims. The investigation naturally led the police to such a conclusion though, and when confronted, Jeffrey confessed he had done it a few times. Jeffrey fucking Dahmer was described as being terrified at the prospect of telling the officers about that little detail, because he believed he would be judged by those people, who he believed to be his friends. Jeffrey Dahmer said that he was afraid the media would call him a “monster” if they found out about the cannibalism. Jeffrey Dahmer would probably had kept that secret with himself for the rest of his life if it were possible, because he could admit all the rest—necrophilia, rape, evisceration, the fact that he had body parts scattered all over his apartment—but could not talk about the cannibalism because he was genuinely ashamed of it. 

The funny thing is: Jeffrey was right. The knowledge that he’d cannibalized some of his victims rendered him headlines such as this: 

Which is not only very sensationalist but also inaccurate. Dahmer did not killed and ate his 17 victims—still, that was the headline they chose because it was somehow more shocking than what Dahmer really did to the corpses he kept in his apartment. He was not intrinsically a cannibal: he was a necrophiliac and having sex with dead bodies was the primary goal of his killings. He did not killed to eat, cannibalism was not his motivation at all (like it was for  Issei Sagawa, for example, who committed his crime with consuming his victim specifically in mind).

So, the cannibalism was what immortalized Jeff as one of the most cruel serial killers of all times. And again, my question is: why? I’m not saying that cannibalism isn’t shocking. But why was Jeffrey himself, the officers (who at that point had already heard all kind of absurd things coming from him), the media and literally everyone else so taken aback by cannibalism? Shouldn’t Jeff’s abnormal sexual behavior be somehow more offensive than it? If you want to know details about Jeff’s crimes—the sexual aspects of it—you really have to dig it and do your research. But the cannibalism? Just google the Milwaukee Cannibal and you’re good to go.

Now, as a fannibal, it’s funny to me to watch how people react to Jeff’s story. Because I kid you not, I’ve talked about Jeff’s crimes in detail to a lot of people and I’m always ready to discuss him; and it’s funny to me that what really disturbs people is that “after all he did, he really had to go and eat them? Like, he kept them in his freezer or something?” (yes, he did). Perhaps I’m just too used to the concept of cannibalism at this point, so I very rarely give it any thought. Disorders such as necrophilia, for instance, are far more concerning and fascinating to me. 

I’m not sure if this is Hannibal’s fault or not. It’s still interesting to me that the show doesn’t give Hannibal’s cannibalism the same treatment it would probably have received from the public in real life. Of course, every character is a little shocked when they find out about Hannibal’s proclivities but they move past it pretty fast. In fact, later on the show Will Graham willingly partakes in some non-vegetarian activities at Hannibal’s table. It doesn’t matter his motivations for doing so—the fact that he willingly sat at Hannibal’s table and ate human flesh without thinking twice? Unthinkable. Hannibal himself is also fascinating in that regard: unlike Jeffrey Dahmer, he’s absolutely unapologetic about his diet (even though the reason why he eats his victims has nothing to do with the reason why Dahmer did the same). 

But still, Hannibal Lecter mutilated his victims, tortured them, dismembered them. He removed a girl’s lungs while she was still breathing—actions that rendered him names such as The Chesapeake Ripper. Still, the second they find out about the cannibalism, the name that immortalizes Hannibal is simply Hannibal, the cannibal (and I refuse to concede that it is simply because it rhymes with his name). Again, the cannibalistic aspect of the murders is the most important thing about them. He’s instantaneously not the ripper anymore, he’s the cannibal. And again, and again and again, my question is: why? 

[royal-despair]

​You watch the scene pass by you. A once daunting sunset is now a beautiful sunrise. ​The ship passes above you, feeling almost like a huge whale in the sky.. ​The pods start to rumble, struggling to find a good landing spot. ​It gives a warning, saying something along the lines of "Potentially rough landing imminent. Please tighten your safety buckles. ​The pods land, and thankfully everything was safe. And everyone was together. ​You all exit the pods, and stare off. ​The ship is the only thing blocking your view.

Sketches and color done by @allyssinian​, lineart by @talentlessartblog​ Epilogue illustration (final image) done by qosic on tumblr and twitter x x

Final words written by their muns; @guitarasaurus-rex​ , @shslchemicalx​, @lucitous​, @jullya-senpai​, @tsoi-sauce​

T a k u m a   M i t s u k u r i

“Y-you're the only thing r-really keeping me going..."

"I... I don't want... I can't lose you... I-I love you... Please don't leave me alone..."

Tears stained his face. His stomach contorted violently, twisting and turning, anxiety flooding his being. Was this the end? Was it a new beginning? It didn’t matter to him. Not now. In time, maybe. But now? Now all he felt was despair, sadness… anger…

He’d need time. Time to recover, time to compose himself, time to… move on? could he move on? Would he ever? He didn’t know. He wouldn’t know for a while.

...Chiyo dedicated her life to saving this earth… this broken, distorted earth… Broken and distorted… just like him… He wouldn’t recover quickly, and it was almost certain the wounds he’d received would never fully heal… but… when the pain eased… he would do everything he could to realize her dream. He couldn’t let her efforts be for nought. He’d fix this broken planet, piece by piece… And when it was all over? He’d maintain it... do his best to bring peace to everyone… And then he’d see Chiyo again… He’d tell her he loved her… And they could be together.

All that would come… He’d make sure it did… But, for now, he just grieved.

D m i t r i   C i e r z o n 

"...." Everyone was being emotionally wrecked, and here he was, not emotionally wrecked. He really was different, it seemed. Even though everything was both a lie and a truth.

How.... Strange.

He walked over to Leon, sliding his hand into the Dollmaker's own. Calluses... Not from fighting, it seemed. But these were the same hands that had supported him on the ship, even though he had lied again and again, and made questionable decisions one after another.

... This, at least, was real. Even if he couldn't trust anything else, he could trust at least this -- them.

L e o n h a r d   V o g e l

Leon blinks and glances down to see Dmitri holding his hand in his, staring out at the wreckage from where they had been mere minutes ago. He parts his lips to say something, though he can't find the words. He had trusted Dmitri, trusted his judgement, and it had all worked out. Maybe not as smoothly as they had all hoped, but they're here. They're here and alive.

With no words to say, his lips slide shut along with his eyelashes. He presses a kiss to his forehead. Hopefully that will express his feelings well enough. He had always found it strange how emotions could be expressed so easily for him through touch. He wanted to convey his affection, his relief, but most of all? His hope for the future.

The end of one story is the beginning of another, and he sincerely hopes they can turn this bittersweet moment into something beautiful. After a few moments, he pulls away and turns his head to look back at the horizon. Not at the airship, but beyond. To the trees and skyline, the chittering birds overhead. It would be up to them to maintain this beautiful world, and he can't say he's too ready for it, unknowing of what that may entail , but he finds himself eager to begin.

R u n a   K n i g h t l y

‘What do we do now?’

"..." Runa... leans her head on Seojun's shoulder, she watches the light of the sun through the filter of the smoke. "...Who's to say... maybe find other people, rehabilitate back into the world's current society... I just," She lifts her head, "I just want to stay close to everyone for the time being..."

J o s e f i n a   D e   B e l a s c o 

Fina stared at the scene in front of her. It was all so intense. So surreal. They made it out. All the people they lost. All the truths they gained. It all came to her in a wave of emotions. So much was going through her head right now. She sat down on the ground and let out a long sigh. "Oh fuck... We actually did it. We made it."

S e o j u n   T s o i

Fifty days.  They were trapped for fifty days on the airship known as the Queen Rose, with the conditions of being involved in a horrendous killing game.  Blood, sweat, and tears were shed almost every single day.  There was an atrocious amount of despondency throughout the entire “trip” they had gone through together.  As the blaring alarms were ringing in his head even now, Seojun found himself recollecting everything that had happened for him.  Not just in those fifty days, no.  What happened overall in the seventy six days that he had been trapped in his two killing games. What had happened in the past two and a half months for him was an absolute nightmare.

Day one. He woke up in the anteroom with seventeen students other than himself, and he found himself forced into a killing game under the treacherous duo of Gekumi and Torimi.  From the first week in, he found something that was quite odd:  Gekumi seemed to take more of the hate, but Torimi seemed to take more of the power instead.  It was something that the supposed Internet Troll had found to be quite the oddity.  Weren’t they working together?  He didn’t say anything about it, however.  He had to keep himself together.  He had to. Everyone around him was panicking like wild animals, so he couldn’t be seen doing the same.  He had to be that one guiding light to everyone.

Day six. That’s when he witnessed his first execution.  Karou was torn apart viciously, and Seojun had to see their demise firsthand.  It was absolutely dreadful, but he had to keep going.  And so, he did.  The second murder passed, as did the second execution.  He would soon find out about his loved ones being captive, about Ae-Joung being captive.  Seojun initially freaked out; he had freaked out when he saw his “sister” inside those bondages of rope, and the blindfold over her eyes.  She was scared of the dark, and in a way, so was he.  He was afraid of the darkness surrounding him, but he had to stay strong, and keep smiling.  He had to be that one guiding light to Ayaka.

Ayaka.

”C’mon, Junie!  Think positive.  Things are going to be okay, alright?  Trust me, I promise.”

She seemed to be just like his sister.  His sister, who had saved his life from his own hands.  The sixteen year old girl wasn’t one he fell in love with, but she was someone that he had grown to wanting to protect.  He had wanted to protect her, because someone just like her had done the same for him.  At least, that’s what he remembered.  The girl was innocent, and he wanted to protect someone that felt like a sister to him.  She was so, so devastated when Karou died.  When Karou was the one who had taken the knife, and stabbed Varian in the back.  She was so devastated, and the girl with the round glasses had went to Seojun for comfort.  Seojun ended up doing the worst thing imaginable though, and he witnessed Antonio killing another poor, innocent girl named Hitomi Kurusaki.  Instead of dying himself, he took it upon his own hands to strike...and he killed the man.

Day twenty six.  That’s when the trial of Antonio de Sabatini and Hitomi Kurusaki occured.  That’s when everyone managed to pin it on Raphael Bernard, the Super High School Level Archer.  That’s when everyone managed to get it wrong, and vote for the wrong person.  That’s when Seojun Tsoi had managed to get away with murder, much to his dismay.  He...He didn’t want to see Ayaka with that look of betrayal on her face.  He didn’t want to see her getting executed horrifically, but here he was, forced to watch all of his shipmates die in gruesome, grotesque fashions.  The sickly green gecko bot was controlled by someone amongst his rankings, but because he had killed another person, Seojun would never know who went through the same fate that he had gone through. He’d never know who the second mastermind really was.

Day twenty seven.  That’s when he woke up in the anteroom for a second time, much to his dismay.  This time, there were eighteen others around him.  Eigteen people who didn’t know what the hell was going on, or why they were here.  Seojun knew, though - he knew exactly why they were here, and he knew exactly why he was here.  He was here to scounge out for the mastermind, who was amongst all of them.  One of these eighteen students was the mastermind behind his own killing game, and it was his mission to find out who it was.  However, as he went along, things steered into different directions. There was the day where he made his friendship with Leon a thing.  There was the day where he roasted Manobu alongside Dmitri, with Raiden at their side too.  There was the day where he promised to keep Izaya safe, there was the day where he decided to help Cici feel like the princess she always wanted to be.  There was the day of theTruth or Dare game.  There was the day of the King’s Game.  There was the day where he fell in love with Runa Knightly.  Every day made up this path; every day led up to this moment.

Then, they reached to today.  Day seventy six.  The day where they discovered who Sanae Oshiro’s daughter, and heiress of the company behind the purifying machines really was.  The day where they found out that Chiyo Oshiro was the mastermind and first degree murderer of tens, hell, hundreds of people.  Maybe even thousands, if you count those outside of killing games.  This was the day where they achieved something that she despised, that the rest of the world didn’t see could happen.  This was the day where they would restore a concept to planet Earth as they knew it.  As Seojun turned to the five before him, he found himself embracing the tears that were streaking down his cheeks, and looking onto everyone before him. 

Josefina de Belasco.  The tallest person on the ship, but regardless, she was simply a gentle giant that had hopes for the future.  She was innocent, but not pure-hearted either.  She was timid at times as well, and even more so humbling, but nevertheless, she never backed down in her beliefs.  She put her heart into everything she did, and only wanted the best for everyone else.

Takuma Mitsukuri.  A man who was in shambles, broken down, and beaten with despair.  A man who made himself out to be someone that was slightly confident, but more or less snarky.  A man that was more than meets the eye.  Seojun knew he didn’t get along with him at first, but as they were trapped with each other for quite a few days, he had grown to see that he was almost like him, in a way.  He wanted to protect, and he wanted to feel validated by those around him.

Dmitri Cierzon.  Cool, mysterious, aloof at times even.  Hardly did he ever see the man lash out at anyone around him with a raised voice.  Sure, he may have stabbed a man, but he believed it was for the better, with morals or not.  He was blunt, but he was honest.  He was an honest man, and even then, he was underestimated.  Pastry Chef, Spy...whatever he may have been by now, he was still Dmitri.  A boy who loved headpats, sweets, and kicking ass.

Leonhard Vogel. He stepped up to the plate when no one else would.  He spoke up when everyone else stayed silent.  He did his best to protect everyone around him, despite his conditions, despite his mental state.  He put a lot of people before his own needs, and he just wanted to make everyone happy.  He was a damaged man, but he was not broken, and Seojun knew that this man could heal with time, with people by his side.  He would consider him to be one of his closest friends.

Then, there was Runa Knightly.  She was his sunshine, as he was her Hairpins.  If there was one promise he was able to keep, it’s that he was able to protect her.  He was able to protect her, throughout all of this madness and despair.  He was able to protect this beautiful girl, someone who wasn’t perfect, but still magnificent in her own ways.  She wants to improve on herself.  She is determined, and doesn’t give up, no matter what the price may pay for her.  The blonde truly loved this woman, inside and out.

Seojun Tsoi faced everyone once again, and silently, a smile came to his lips.  “...Regardless...we did it, huh?  We...made it out.”  He looks overhead, to meet his gaze with the bright and radiant sun shining over the horizon.  “...We’re...going to start a changing process.  This isn’t...the end, that I can tell.  This is only the beginning of something new.  A new future, not just for us...for us all.  We’re finally going to have it.  We’re going to unlock something that should’ve been given a long, long time ago.”  As the blonde took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, he found the word that he had wished to utter for so long.  They finally have it now.

“Freedom.”

[fletchermarple]

Quick Review of the True Crime Books I read in 2017 (Part 1)

Review of books in 2016 Part 1 and Part 2 

Review of books in 2015

One of Us: The Story of a Massacre in Norway -- An its Aftermath by Asne Seierstad: You can tell that this well researched book has the signature of an experienced investigative journalist like Asne Seierstad. The novel offers a very clear and engaging account of the 2011 Norway massacre, in which Anders Breivik killed 77 people, most of them teenagers, as a misguided stance against multiculturalism, which he felt was ruining his country. Using Breivik’s own writings, police records and witness’ interviews, Seierstad builds a fascinating and deep profile of a perpetual loser with delusions of grandeur. At the same time offers, without judgment of her own, an interesting look into the mind of a mass murderer. Breivik might not be a school shooter, but you can certainly make some connections to them. The author alternates Breivik’s life story with that of two of his victims, which helps put a clear face to that horrendous death toll. I can only assume she chose those two because their families were willing to talk to her, but to be honest, their stories are very ordinary and she makes them look like perfect kids, so the chapters focused on them are not as compelling. But this is definitely a must read for anyone interested in true crime and especially in mass shootings.

JonBenet: Inside the Ramsey Murder Investigation by Steve Thomas: This book was frustrating, both because of what’s happening in the story and also because the obvious bias of the author makes it difficult to look at the case with any perspective but his own. Thomas was one of the main investigators in the early years of the JonBenet Ramsey case, and is very clear about his belief that her parents, John and Patsy, are responsible for her death and staged the crime scene, and he has some decent arguments to support that staging. The problem comes when he has to explain how and why the murder happened, then his theory falls short. This has always been my issue with the Ramsey case: there’s just not one theory that fully makes sense. Thomas’ opinion (he’s very fond of the “In my opinion” phrase) is that Patsy accidentally killed her during a fit of rage because she had wet the bed, but I just don’t see it. And while pushing that forward, he ignores other variables and suspects (Burke just doesn’t exist in his vision). He’s very adamant about the Ramseys avoiding police and getting special treatment (which in itself is no evidence of guilt), but he’s very vague about, for example, whether JonBenet had a history of sexual abuse. He mentions clearing “hundreds of suspects” for the intruder theory, but doesn’t say who or how. Thomas details the way that the DA’s office kept meddling in favor of the Ramseys, to the point that they are likely the main reason why this case went unsolved (along with some mediocre police work, no matter how Thomas tries to embellish it), but the problem is that his frustration with that --that eventually led him to quit not just the case, but the whole police force-- colors pretty much everything he has to say. He comes across as so angry and bitter, that when I finished I felt that I was missing a big part of the story he just didn’t seem willing to tell us. Bottomline, this is a fundamental read in the JonBenet saga but it would be a mistake to consider it an absolute truth and must be read with a healthy touch of skepticism.

Bitter Remains by Diane Fanning: I like reading books about crimes I have absolutely no prior knowledge about, and that was the case here. The novel, written by one of the big american names in the true crime genre, tells the story of Laura Ackerson, murdered by her ex, Grant Hayes, and his wife Amanda. The story is extremely tragic and gruesome, with the book focusing on the victim’s troubled life and how she was managing to overcome her problems and make a better life for herself and her two sons when she was killed at only 27. Fanning does her best to present us with all the context about the case, but she doesn’t pretend to be understanding or sympathetic with the two killers, especially Grant who seems to be one of the most despicable people you’ll ever read about. This book really lays down in all its horror how human life holds so little value to some people.

For Laci by Sharon Rocha: I thought a book couldn’t get more heartbreaking than Sue Klebold’s A Mother’s Reckoning, but I was wrong. Sharon Rocha’s grief over the loss of her daughter Laci --who disappeared while heavily pregnant on Christmas’ Eve of 2002, only to be found five months later, her body decapitated-- grips you through the pages and squeezes your heart. In Sharon’s words, Laci comes alive as a likeable, cheerful woman who made the world a better place. On the other hand, her husband Scott Peterson, currently in death row for murdering her and their unborn son, is portrayed as a callous, cold and narcissitic individual who would rather end his wife’s life than deal with a messy divorce or be tied down by a kid. As you can imagine, Sharon’s presentation of the case is the same as the police’s and prosecution’s, and it’s the version I believe. The circumstancial evidence against Peterson is too overwhelming, and tied together builds a stronger case than any DNA sample without context could ever make. Sharon describes Laci and Scott’s relationship and his growing distaste of the idea of becoming a father, and also her own struggle when she started to realize that the son in law she was publicly supporting was guilty (on a side note, Scott’s parents are particularly terrible, at least in Sharon’s eyes). Unless you somehow believe that Peterson is innocent, this is a very poignant and touching read.

Illusion of Justice by Jerome F. Buting: This book was written by one of Steven Avery’s defense lawyers, who also happens to be my favorite character in Making a Murderer. Here, he explores not only the behind the scenes of the Avery trial, but also other cases of his stellar career and why he believes the justice system is broken. And he succeeds in making you understand why there can't be real justice if the process to convict someone isn't clean. The author talks a lot about his own life, which I found quite interesting, particularly the cancer that almost killed him. He’s a man of strong convictions who’s worked hard to improve a flawed system. I was expecting more revelations about the Avery case, and he does sheds some light on what was going on that we didn’t see in the documentary (I especially love his jabs at unethical prosecutor Ken Kratz), but nothing truly shocking. He clearly believes in Avery's innocence, although he doesn’t say it outright. Instead, he focuses on explaining why his arrest and trial was a miscarriage of justice. And he has a point. There’s also a segment in the last part in which he addresses frequently asked questions and misconceptions that people have about the case (for example this confusion about “sweat DNA”). He also devotes plenty of time to talk about another big case of his, the one of Ralph Armstrong, who spent almost 30 years in jail for a horrible crime he didn't commit. If you enjoyed Making a Murderer and are interested in the judicial aspects of true crime, this book is for you. It's very informative, told in an easy, fluid narrative.

The Innocent Man by John Grisham: As a big fan of courtroom dramas, I love most of John Grisham’s stories (A Time to Kill is among my favorite novels, period). I was excited to check out this, his first non fiction story, which focuses on Ron Williamson, a mentally ill man and drug addict who, along with his friend Dennis Fritz, was sent to death row for the horrific 1988 rape and murder of Debbie Carter. DNA testing cleared them both 11 years later. All the elements are there: a fascinating case of wrongful conviction, the mystery of who the real killer was (although the book makes it pretty obvious from the start), the fight to make justice. But I have to admit I was underwhelmed by it. There was something very tedious about the way Grisham decided to write it, and I think part of it isn’t really his fault, it’s just that Ron Williamson is not an interesting character, aside from being wrongfully accused, and the big chunk of his story that makes up for the first half of the book really made me lose interest. 

Similar Transactions by S. R. Reynolds: Ever heard of Larry Lee Smith? I hadn’t before I read this book. He’s a serial rapist who most likely also murdered 15 year old Michelle Anderson in 1987, although that case is still officially unsolved. This book is the effort a woman called Sasha Reynolds to shed some light to Michelle’s case and to tell the story of Smith, an unrepentant predator who went back to attacking women every time he was released from jail. Halfway through the book, Reynolds inserts herself in the story but in the third person. She explains she did it so she wouldn’t mess with the narrative, but it felt a little weird to me. She, however, doesn’t put herself at the center of the story and makes the victims the protagonists. Because of the nature of the crime, in the wrong hands this book could be too graphic or sensationalist, but Reynolds is very careful and respectful without hiding the horrors all these women went through. In times when sexual abuse is on the frontline news, this books really shows the way such stories should be covered.

Overkill by Lyn Riddle: Despite that ghastly cover, that makes this novel look like a cheap thriller, the book is a serious attempt to cover in excruciating detail the senseless murder of Laurie Show. In 1991, the 16 year old was beaten and stabbed by Lisa Michelle Lambert, who had started harassing her because Laurie briefly dated her boyfriend Lawrence Yunkin while the two were separated. Yunkin and a friend of Lambert, Tabitha Buck, also actively participated in the crime and the three of them were convicted for it. Lambert, a master manipulator that would put Jodi Arias to shame, said that the police framed her with the murder to hide the fact they had gang-raped, and managed to convince a judge to overturn her conviction. He even went as far as to forbid the state from re-trying her. That was eventually scratched, and Lambert went back to jail where she’s staying for good. It’s a long and complicated legal process, and the main problem of this book is that it goes so deep into it, it becomes incredibly boring. Even for someone like me, that likes the trial part of any case, it was almost impossible to go through. The book has good elements, like a nuanced portrayal of all the characters involved, but it’s so repetitive and exhausting that I just can’t bring myself to recommend it.

[gawn-with-the-wind]

Anti is coming for dat Sam booty. Just as an added bonus, I've included a little story to make this a true Inktober post. I was watching Jack play The Temple of No when something he said caught my attention. He thought that one of the little doodles at the end looked like Sam but it wasn't green. He said it was him because he was septic. He got a giddy little look on his face before saying that that was a story that he wanted to see. So here we are. And in one his latest videos, he decided to do a fanart thing. I can't draw for the life of me, so I'm doing exactly as instructed: expressing my idea in a different form. So this is the harrowing tale of Sam. *** The land of Ophelia held many secrets. Many people have sought to discover the mysteries of the strange place, but not a single person could manage. There were those that merely thought the stories they heard were myths - tall tales told by parents and elderly folk in order to occupy their children. Nothing got the children of Ophelia more awestruck than the stories that they were told as they were tucked into bed at night. The tales were told generation after generation, spreading through the land like wildfire until there wasn't a single human being that was ignorant to the legends. It was common for people to go off in search of answers. These people were raised on these stories; there were some that figured the myths were true. Some people spent their entire lives looking for some evidence that the stories were true. Some people claimed they saw some of the folk from the legends, and some people were publicly humiliated in their attachment to the tall tales. Not a single person believed those who claimed the myths were reality. Except for one very special boy. Samuel Jack Kinder was born without his left eye. His parents thought that he was a child of Satan, that he was the product of the mythical witch Annaliese. They refused to raise him as their own, so his aunt and uncle took him in. He was raised on the stories of Joel the Horrendous and Billy the Broken, of the Great Billiard War and the Battle of Sir Sean. He believed that every single story had some semblance of truth hidden within its words. Because of that, they refused to tell him the story of Annaliese. No matter how hard he begged and pleaded with them, they refused to tell him the tale. "There is no reason to tell you such a story," his aunt would begin. "Your mother and father felt that the witch was the reason your eye is the way it is. You don't need to hear it. You're a perfectly healthy young man and there is nothing wrong with the way you are." Her intentions were nothing short of good, but Samuel - or rather, Sam - wasn't having it. He was desperate to understand why his parents would think the witch cursed him. And maybe - just maybe - he could figure out a way to get the witch to fix him. He was determined to find out, but because he was homeschooled and rarely ever left home, he had practically no way of hearing the myth. Until one faithful day, his aunt was sick. His uncle was at work and she needed medicine, so she sent 14 year old Sam into town by himself. As he was walking into the market, a man came bounding around, claiming he met the witch. He was rambling about her, saying she cursed him and that he was going to die without proper help. He said he needed to find someone who could save him from the catastrophe he was about to endure. Everyone in the market ignored him, much to Sam's surprise. He was more than shocked to discover how intent people were to deny the stories and claims without first listening. So Sam bought his aunt's medicine and sat down with the man and listened to him tell the story of the witch. "She was absolutely gorgeous," he stated, staring off into the distance with hollow eyes. He cleared his throat and shook hid head before continuing. "The legend has it that a man cursed at birth is said to become immortal upon gazing into her eyes. All others who come across her have thirty days to live." He held up his hand, a sixth finger resting next to his little finger. Sam eyed it curiously, looking back to the man as he continued to speak. "Your expression shows that you've never heard the tale. You must be the Kinder boy. It's easy to see why your parents thought you were the chosen one. Let me take you to her. See if it's true. Please, it may be my only hope of surviving this curse." Sam barely gave it a second thought. He agreed, promising he'd be back in that very spot at midnight. When the time came around, Sam had second thoughts. What if he wasn't the chosen one? How would he tell his aunt and uncle that he was going to die? Or worse, what if he was the chosen one? Would he ever see his aunt and uncle again? It is a myth after all. He felt like there was a boulder weighing down on his chest, making breathing difficult and his heart ache. He left a short note for his family before jumping out his bedroom window and sneaking through the night. The man looked extremely shocked to see Sam. He must've thought he was going to back out, but he was there and he was determined. They walked for what felt like miles through the dense forest, weaving around trees and rocks and small frog-filled ponds. It was peaceful to hear nothing but crickets and cicadas chirping away as they trudged through the tall grass of the forest. But alas, their tranquility could only last for so long. Silence. The entirety of the forest behind them stopped, as though they'd passed through to another dimension. In all reality they had simply stepped into the mouth of a large cave, but there was something stopping the sound from coming in. A chill ran up Sam's back and the place where his eye should be was aching. There was something sinister about the cave, but he persisted despite feeling as though he should run like hell. "She's just a little bit further," the man whispered, taking quiet steps further into the darkness. There was a small flickering light a little ways away, giving Sam a sliver of hope. "Can you hear her song?" Surely enough, there was a quiet echo of music bouncing off the walls of the cave. He was barely able to hear it, but the melody was like tasting the nectar of the gods. He began to move quicker, eager to feed his ears with the soothing sounds of the witch's voice. The man seemed to become hysterical as they approached the flickering of a fire. The witch's voice could be heard resonating throughout the large cavern, causing small rocks and pebbles to vibrate in such a way that they sounded like a harmony to her majestic song. If it weren't for the man's temper beginning to flare, Sam would've sat there all night and just listened. But alas, the man was beginning to yell for the witch. "I've brought you the real chosen one!" he exclaimed. "It's him! I swear! Now reverse this curse so I can go home to my family! Please, they can't live without their father!" He persisted further into the cave, practically dragging Sam by the wrist. He continued yelling for the witch, shouting her name and following the sound of her singing. It seemed that every time they got to where her singing was the loudest, it would quickly decrescendo and begin coming from another part of the caves. The man only got angrier and angrier, his rage beginning to make Sam weary. He was being incredibly rude and disrespectful, and if the witch cursed him once for just being the way he was, he could only imagine how bad he might get it if he were shouting at her that way. "Come out you coward!" he screamed at the roof of the large cavern. His words echoed off of every wall, every stalagmite, every stalactite, and every pool of water that the entire labyrinth of a cave system had to offer. The witch's singing stopped, allowing the echo of the man's shouting to resonate back to where they were standing. It got quieter as it traveled through the tunnels, but then it got louder, and louder still. The word "coward" seemed to be the only word that could be deciphered from the deafening sound of the man's repetitive words. The stones that once vibrated with a gorgeous harmony sounded as though they were screaming. The entire room shook with his words. The roof of the cavern vibrated, letting out small tricklings of pebbles. Stalagmites began crumbling as stalactites began falling. Sam was on his knees, hands over his ears to stop the horrific sounds from deafening him. He glanced over to the man just long enough to see the blood leaking from his ears and the tears falling from his eyes before the ceiling let loose a torrent of rocks, crushing him where he stood. The sounds began to die down, and the moment that Sam thought he was safe was the moment he made his mistake. He collapsed onto the ground, taking in a deep, staggered breath when he heard the sound of one last stalactite fall. And in one swift moment, he was pinned to the ground. He was like a piece of paper, the large chunk of rock impaling his lower back like a thumbtack. He couldn't scream, his lungs were filling with blood. He could feel the warmth bubbling up his throat and dripping out of his mouth. He couldn't feel his legs, he couldn't feel his arms. The only thing he could feel was his overwhelming guilt and regret. His aunt and uncle took him in and raised him as though he was their own. They hid the story from him to protect him. He was so selfish that he found out the story from a stranger and agreed to follow him to some strange cave in the middle of the woods and not once did he consider the consequences. And look where it got him. He was stupid and naive to even think that it was remotely a good idea. And now he'd have to pay the price. As he died, he imagined he could hear footsteps walking towards him, letting out a few mumbled nothings. After a few painful moments, his closed eye was beginning to illuminate green. He put in what little energy he had and opened his eye, only to be met face to face with the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She had long ebony black hair and porcelain skin. Her doll-like face held the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. It was like she trapped a small part of the universe in her irises, swirling with pinks and purples and blues. She had her hand outstretched, a small lime green fire glowing in her palm. She looked disappointed. "You have your mother's eyes," she stated sadly, kneeling down in front of him. "So blue that they make the Caribbean Sea feel inadequate. Your mother always loved making others feel inadequate." Her last remark sounded resentful. If he wasn't dying, he would've apologized on her behalf. The witch sighed. "You don't deserve to die like this. This fool never should've dragged you out here, and you should've heeded your guardians' warnings." Sam would've cried if he had it in him. The witch sighed once again. "The villagers heard this cave system collapse. They'll be coming to search for any survivors. I will spare your life, only under the condition that you remain hidden until found. Only the chosen one can see you, but if anyone else gets too close, you'll be done for." She knew he couldn't speak, but she seemed to be able to hear his faint whimper of gratitude. In a swift motion he was engulfed in the lime green of her magic, and when he opened his eye again, she was gone. He couldn't feel his arms or legs, so he squirmed over to the nearest pool of water. He discovered that he had no arms or legs. He didn't even have a body. He was just a bright green eye with irises as blue as they always were. He sat stunned in his place next to the reflective surface of the water, unable to take his eye off of himself. The sound of a man yelling into the cave scared him out of his trance, sending him into the water to begin his hiding. He watched in fear as the group of men and women wandered around the cavern yelling things to each other that he couldn't hear. It felt like eternities had passed as they moved rocks out of the way to reach the man who had led Sam into the caves. It wasn't until a pair of bright blue eyes shown their way through the water and right at Sam that he began to really shake in fear. The pair of eyes got closer, the brightness of them getting stronger the closer the person got. In one quick motion, they picked up Sam and shoved him in their pocket. They told someone that they had to go back for supper and Sam could only assume that they bounded out of the cave. Once the crickets could be heard once again, he was grabbed out of the person's pocket and held in their hands. The person inspected Sam, their glowing eyes dulling as they looked at him. "I'm Sean," the man stated. He eyed Sam expectantly. "You can call me Jack though. Are...are you a guardian angel?" He shrunk back in confusion. "M-my parents always told me that once I turned sixteen that my guardian angel would show itself to me. They said I was special, not everybody got them." Sam was ready to hop out of his hands and run into the woods, never to be seen again. But he hesitated. What if this is what he was destined for? What if his aunt and uncle didn't want him knowing about the witch because this was his destiny? This...as odd as it sounded, Sam felt that this is what the witch intended. He was to protect this boy for as long as he could, watch over him and make sure he survived. He was the chosen one. And Sam was his guardian.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Adults play teenagers coz they don’t want filming to be delayed due to mandatory school hours and breaks. The adults can work all day and night if they have to

Yeah, that makes sense and I do get why that might mean companies opt for adult actors instead of child actors, but in my opinion, it’s not a valid reason for casting adults to play children’s parts. 

In most cases authors or writers that create a story with the main characters as children, write it that way for a specific purpose. Take Harry Potter as an example. The fact that Harry, Hermione, Ron and a large portion of the other main characters were children was so integral to the entire story based on the simple fact it’s set in a school. Just imagine if they hadn’t of cast actual 11 year old’s to play Harry, Ron and Hermione and chose adults in their 20′s to play them instead. I can’t even imagine how terrible that would’ve been. We were supposed to see these characters grow up from children to adults, to understand how horrendous it was that the weight of the world was thrust onto their shoulders (particularly Harry as The Chosen One), when in reality they were just children.

Another example would be The Hunger Games. The reason why The Hunger Games as a concept is so mortifying and horrific is because it’s children that are chosen to take part. Admittedly, Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson were adults when they played Katniss and Peeta (although younger looking adults, particularly Jennifer in the later films. There were times when she actually looked like she could’ve been 17), but at least the others e.g. Rue actually looked like young children. You just can’t take away the children from this story without completely damaging the entire message and overriding theme Suzanne Collins wanted to create.

Game of Thrones is similar to this. I discovered the show before I read the books and when I first found out exactly how old the characters were supposed to be I was shocked. In the first book Daenerys is around 13 years old yet on the show in season 1 she’s 17 and played by a 23 year old. In the case of Jon, he’s 14 in the book and 16 in season 1 (don’t even get me started on how stupid that is) and he was played by a 23 year old (you can see all the ages here if you’re interested). The problem with this is that we’re completely deluded by watching the show because despite being told they’re supposed to be 16/17 years old, we physically see fully grown adults and that changes the impact of everything they say and do. Robb being Lord of Winterfell and commanding an army at 15 years old is a lot more disturbing and hard-hitting than watching it happen on the show where we see a fully bearded man in his 20′s. Daenerys being pregnant at 13 years old with Drogo’s baby is a lot more concerning than seeing a 23 year old woman being pregnant on the show. Do you see what I mean?  The GOT universe is set in the medieval period so the fact that children of highborn families were expected to lead should anything happen to their fathers, were forced into marriage and expected to have children as soon as they started their period, was totally normal. The problem is that in casting adults to play the parts of children, none of this is accurately portrayed on the show and much like The Hunger Games, it completely changes the reality of the universe G.R.R Martin created.

And of course, there’s Stranger Things. A huge part of why it’s so widely loved is because it’s one of the only shows (to my recollection) that actually has children forming the basis of the main cast. People love to see that, not only because it’s amazing to see how talented child actors are but because, why should child actor’s only be reserved for children’s TV? Being a child is as much a part of life as being an adult and regardless of what age we are we all remember being a child and it makes us feel nostalgic. When I watch Stranger Things, despite the dark themes, I just can’t help but smile because it reminds me of being a child and also because there’s an innocence and fun spirit in children that adults lack.

I don’t have as much of a problem with adults playing older teenagers that are 17/18, which is commonly how it’s done within TV. A lot of the time in American high-school dramas adults in their 20′s or 30′s are cast to play 17/18 year old’s. That can be okay, but they should be as close to the age of the character as possible (e.g. 18-20 year old’s should play 17 year olds) or they should look younger than they are. Nina Dobrev is a perfect example here. Nina Dobrev was 20 in season one of TVD and Elena was supposed to be 17. Although you could tell Nina was slightly older than 17 she still easily passed for being 17 because she was a young looking 20 year old. However, Damon was supposed to be 21 during season 1 when Ian was 31 years old. That’s a 10 year age gap between Damon and Ian in comparison to 3 year age gap between Elena and Nina. Bearing in mind, that Ian was also playing the part of a vampire who wasn’t supposed to age and your 30′s is probably one of the decades in your life where you visibly start to age (just compare how Ian looks in 1x01 to 8x16 and you’ll realise just how much he aged across the 8 seasons). Whenever I watched Damon on screen I always felt like I was witnessing a 30 year old man which is why I could never quite get to grips with his behaviours because they were those of an 18 year old not a 30 year old.

I think it’s taken for-granted just how much impact the age of an actor/actress playing a character can have. It totally changes people’s perception of that character and of the story as a whole, particularly in the case of a story like Game of Thrones. But also, like I said in the tags on my post, it can be quite damaging for young teenagers that watch these shows and then compare themselves and their lives to these characters that are an unrealistic depiction of what it’s like to be a teenager. For a long time as a teenager I was so insecure whenever I watched Pretty Little Liars, because they were all absolutely stunning, they always looked perfect, they had long legs, amazing bodies that were slim and curvaceous, gorgeous clothes, lovely make-up, they all had serious relationships with attractive, successful people that adored them and I would sit there and think, “What’s wrong with me?” And I’m sure I’m not the only person who has felt like that when watching a show and it can be really damaging to young people.

In television, film and media generally, representation is so important. Characters should represent real people that are all unique and individual, but if you actually look at shows how often can you truly say a character is a true reflection of what it’s like to be a real person? And for teenagers and young adults, who probably constitute a large portion of the audiences watching these kind of shows, it’s so important that they see other teenagers that are like them. 

As I also mentioned in my tags, I find that British shows are a lot more realistic and honest in their portrayals of teenagers and young adults, but I’m probably biased because I’m British myself so I probably relate to them more because of that. So shows such as Skins, My Mad Fat Diary, The Inbetweeners, Misfits, Fresh Meat, Bad Education and Shameless all show young characters that are completely relatable and realistic. 

I’m a big believer of pictures speaking a thousand words, so I’m going to end this with some comparisons of casts for young British shows vs young American shows and hopefully you’ll see what I mean. 

Misfits and Teen Wolf

My Mad Fat Diary and The Vampire Diaries

Bad Education and Gossip Girl

Fresh Meat and 90210

The Inbetweeners and One Tree Hill

Skins and Pretty Little Liars

Shameless UK and Shameless US