#because man i am a fucking PUSSY my heart cannot take unhappy endings for my characters .

[woodlandscab1n]

Man. I'm glad I have Bishop as a character, they were a character that I used to beat the shit out of myself for what I considered my "bad traits", a complete extreme of this side I didn't wanna touch even with a stick.

But then I did. And, it's just...wild? I guess, I never thought I would even come close to redeeming this character, or making him any more sympathetic than what I established as the base. And it ended up happening anyways.

Through out the writing of their character I put myself the rule of never, ever change his core of being...because I wanted to make them irredeemable, by them never wanting to truly change, they'll never be redeemed but, I was wrong.

Redeeming him wasn't about changing his core, about making him more human-like, making him love and feel like other people do, completely overhauling his way of thinking. It was just... accepting it, and that doesn't mean you're doomed to be a bad person and hurt people just because of how, what you are.

I still have a long way to go to fully accepting those parts of myself, as well as seeing it on other ppl, but this character has given me a perspective I honestly didn't even know I needed, or even know it was a possibility for me.

[kingstonjael]

Well you knew this was coming! My Break Up right before the summer guide! 😉 It hurts my heart that the Ex Factor and I have gone our separate ways for what feels like the millionth time and though I cannot know if this is really our finale (He has 9 lives and right now he’s used up 8)…I prepared for it. For the last couple of years, I have been so unhappy with him but that never stopped me from loving him. And even though I’m sick of being hurt by him…when he told me he loved me last year and we made actual love (don’t know if any of this was truly real)…it felt like everything! 🙌🏽 My heart lived outside of my body and I loved every minute of it. The JOY was so much stronger than the pain but the pain was weighing us down. Sigh… Two and a half months ago, I started preparing my Exit Strategy aka my Break Up Kit Guide. Here are 8 Things I did to prepare for my Break Up: 8. SELF LOVE! Take some time to fall in love again…with you! Instead of thinking about what you could have done differently in your relationship…take this time to hold yourself close and love on yourself. If you can love yourself….true love with someone else will hopefully follow! 🙌🏽 I have spent time being grateful for all of my blessings. Being in a place of humbleness and thankfulness are my ways of saying to myself…you did your best and you are an amazing person! I am currently reading for fun and letting my imagination remind me that all is not lost! Love is on its way! 💜 7. CLOSED UP THE PUSSY SHOP! I sexed the Ex Factor some time in March for the last time. After that last time, I made every excuse in the book why he can’t cum get some of this good good. Keep reading the count down and you will understand why. 😉 He is a really patient guy so this was easy to do. There were things going on at my job and I had a family emergency so I had some valid excuses. Pussy shop got to be closed from your soon to be ex. You can’t send him off with a last taste of that pum pum. He’s still going to think it’s just for him! Shop closed! ✌🏾6. PLANNED A VACATION! Now it just so happen that every year I plan an annual trip for my birthday. This year it came in handy. My trip is coming up and it’s the perfect…"what ex?!“ distraction…"I don’t recall who that is” distraction! I plan on get so fucking sexy that I will make myself moist before my days even start! 🙌🏽 Vacations with yourself or with girlfriends are a great way to regroup and be grateful for the life you have. So drop that man and book that trip! You may meet your future hubby on it! 😉 And if not, you will feel great getting out of your comfort zone and looking at things with fresh eyes. 5. BEAUTIFY ONESELF! I have my hair, nails, and eyelash appointments all set up over the next three days! Shit! Get that pussy hair curled for its new renter if need be or go completely nude down there! Lol! Do what it takes to turn yourselves on. As women, we have the power to do that. What one man did not appreciate another man will! 4. TRY TO AVOID JUMPING INTO ANYTHING SERIOUS RIGHT AWAY! Now I’m all about dating right away after a breakup. But realize that this next person is probably (there are exceptions to the rule) a rebound guy. Do not set yourself up for getting hurt twice!!! Emotions are high and your heart is probably still with your ex. This is dangerous territory! You cannot replace one person with another! No ma'am you cannot! The rebound guy’s only job is to take you out and make you feel special. Once that goal is achieved…drop him where you found him because he may have even more issues than your ex! 😳 You are not in your right mind so tread lightly! 🙄 If you aren’t ready to entertain anyone yet, choose some guys you find attractive and start a friendship with them slowly. Get to know them as you get to know yourself. Under true friendship (not speaking of friends with benefits), you may find the man of your dreams! If you go the friendship route, he will learn your heart long before he learns your pussy stroke and those are the things marriages are made of! 🙌🏽 3. PACK YOUR BIRTH CONTROL AND CONDOMS! Now I know some of y'all won’t heed the advice from number 4 and will go and fuck down the world after a break up! 🙄 No judgement here…only some advice. Pack your pills and condoms with you even if you do not feel you will be sexually active! I am so tired of reminding y'all that DICK FALLS OUT THE SKY! You must prepare for it and treat your contraception like Visa and MasterCard and don’t you dare leave your fucking house without it!!! 😳 I know too many people created off of one night stands! 🙄 And to be honest…if you weren’t letting your Ex (who you claim to know) hit it raw…why the fuck let a stranger or jump off do that? Matter of fact let me speak to the men going through breakups for a second! WHY THE FUCK y'all creating ON BREAK BABIES with groupies when you weren’t building a family with your love before y'all split! 🖕🏾GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER DIRTY DICKS! 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾2. LOSE WEIGHT/GET THAT BODY TIGHT!!! About 7 years ago, around the time I met the Ex Factor, I gained 40lbs and have been struggling to lose it ever since! April 2, I joined a gym and started Weight Watchers. While I have only been to the gym once, I naturally walk 2-3 miles a day thanks to city life. This week is the end of my 6th week on Weight Watchers and at the end of my 5th week, I weighed in to find I lost 16lbs already! 🙌🏽 I weigh in again on this Sunday coming up and am so excited! And no I’m not starving myself nor doing anything crazy! Just using the Weight Watchers online plan and it’s been working for me thus far! When I am a little further along in my journey, I will write a blog on my experience. Now back to the issue at hand. Get that waistline tight and that ass lifted through squats! Let your ex see from afar what he’s missing while getting ready for your new man! 🙌🏽 If you have a hectic schedule like I do, build in small strength training exercises around your desk during the work day while increasing the amount of water you drink and steps you take a day! At first, these steps seem like small gestures but if you want to keep the weight off permanently…these little tricks will help along with watching what you eat! 🙌🏽 I could not have gotten this far without it! So thankful for city life! 🙌🏽 1. KEGELS/PUSSY TIGHTENING! Remember in number 7 when I suggested you close the pussy shop? Well it’s because you got to get that pussy tight to erase your ex’s dick print and make room for a new romance in the future! 2.5 months ago, I started my tightening and that’s exactly why I made excuses so the Ex Factor could not cum get some of my good good! Saving that moistness and tightness for a dude who can love me and cherish me! ✌🏾 ~KJM saying that “breaking up is hard to do” while KEGELS are the gift that keeps giving…on Flashback Friday! 😘