#he is a serial killer what is wrong with you people /affectionately

[mooncalf87]

The fact that these are the most written ship. It speaks volumes.

[wordstome]

Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

[kujousgf]

A CHANCE ENCOUNTER. mdni.

pairings: dark!wanda maximoff x f!reader

synopsis: you really should have just gone to kate's when you thought something was wrong, especially with the scarlet witch on the loose

warnings: serial killer!wanda, graphic violence !!!, blood, murder, two (2) deaths, knives, dacryphilia, degradation, allusion to petplay, slightly suggestive

a/n: wanda talks about dyeing reader's hair blonde, if you're already blonde just ignore that...

wc: 3.7k

pt 2. pt. 3

It was a typical day for you, you’d gone to work, just like normal. Your shift today was with one of your closest friends, Kate. You both worked at a local bakery in your relatively small town. Despite the small population of the town, the bakery was rather busy and whenever tourists passed through it was their first choice for somewhere to grab a snack at. 

You had hung out with Yelena, your best friend since first grade, and caught up on the details of your collective and separate lives until the blonde girl had to go, and now you were on your way home. You had always preferred walking over driving or even taking the bus, you always thought it was nicer to ‘stop and smell the roses’ as other people would say. You preferred to take your time getting to places which, unfortunately, was why you were almost always late. So it was no surprise that you were late for dinner at your parents’ house, it was already getting dark when you made the turn onto the road where their house was. 

Actually, it was a little strange that your parents hadn’t called to ask if you were on your way, but you figured they had just lost track of time. Your mother often did when she was cooking and your father never seemed to know what time it was unless it related to work. 

There was an eerie silence as you arrived home, the gate at the bottom of the driveway hanging open and your front door ajar. A chill ran down your spine as you remembered one of the news headlines from that morning: 'Lawyer, 55, Murdered in His Home Last Night’. You convinced yourself it was just because of the wind and you were being paranoid for no reason. But the air was still that night and you knew it. 

The murdered lawyer had been a colleague of your father’s. You had met him once at some sort of banquet and he was a little odd, maybe a little over affectionate towards you, who he had only just met, but certainly not somebody someone would want to murder. You make your way up the walkway to your parents’ house. You take a hesitant look around before slowly pushing the front door the rest of the way open and shrugging when nothing seems out of place. Your father must have forgotten to close the door when he got home from work that afternoon. You’re surprised your mother hadn’t realized and scolded him for it yet. 

You close the door behind you, but it doesn't quite close all the way, like there was something keeping it from shutting properly. It slowly opens back up. You don’t notice as you set your bag down and make your way towards the kitchen, body moving on autopilot to get some of the dinner you knew your parents would have left out for you, but you anxiously clenched and unclenched your fists. Something was wrong and you could feel it. Somebody else was in the house.

You freeze, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen, your phone slipping from your hand and clattering onto the ground. The sight in front of you should have made you run or even scream, but instead it just took the air from your lungs. It was horrifying, the scene in front of you, both of your parents were tied to chairs, the front of their shirts stained with their own and even each other's blood, and there was a woman standing over them with a knife in one of her hands. She was tall, probably about 5’7, and slender, her arms were muscular and she had a very sinister presence. Without thinking your father looked towards you, weakly calling out your name, probably as a sort of warning, but it was a mistake on his part and he should have just kept his mouth shut. If your phone hitting the ground hadn’t alerted her of your presence, your father surely did.

 The unknown woman turns, a sick smile on her face as she looks you up and down, almost like a predator sizing up its prey, it makes you want to puke. “And who are you?” The woman’s voice is almost a purr, and you can’t seem to get yourself to answer, your voice stuck in your throat as you look at the other woman. You don’t think you’ve ever been so terrified in your entire life, and Yelena made you go see all the new horror films with her.

You hated horror films.

The woman cocked her head, it seemed she had scared you so much that you forgot how to speak. How cute. Well, she didn’t mind anyway, she was intent on not leaving any witnesses and victims who didn’t scream pleased her just as much as the ones who did. “Aw, are you scared darling? Well, I’ll go first and then maybe you’ll gain some courage. I’m the Scarlet Witch, have you heard of me?”

 The color from your face drained almost instantly, you knew that name. It was all over the news. The Scarlet Witch was the name that the Westview police department gave to a killer who had been terrorizing the town. The Scarlet Witch was a murderer. It clicked for you that Scarlet was probably the exact same person who killed your father’s colleague. You didn’t get the chance to read the whole article and you didn’t want to die, but oh god, you were going to die, weren’t you? Scarlet had been waiting for you to get home so she could kill all of you, and no one ever escapes Scarlet. You should have gone to Kate’s apartment after hanging out with Yelena because oh god now you were going to die…

During your silent panic, you had started crying, and Wanda thought you looked simply delectable. Deciding to leave you to your thoughts, she turned back to your parents, she knew you wouldn’t run even if she didn’t keep an eye on you, you were too scared. And even if you did, she’d catch you. There was a playful smile on her lips as she twirled the already blood soaked knife around her fingers. “Your daughter is really very pretty, you know” she began, her playful smile turning into a dangerous one, “would you like to make a bargain? I know you love doing that with others.” She was almost daring them to say no, to give her a reason to plunge the knife she was holding into their chests as if she needed one. She didn’t, but she liked to make them feel like they were playing a game, like their decisions had any impact at all towards how this encounter would turn out. 

When all she gets is a fearful shake of the head from your father, she rolls her eyes and her smile drops before she plunges the knife between two of his ribs, narrowly missing his heart. She grins when the older man screams out in agony before beginning to twist the knife, blood steadily pouring out of the wound. “I didn’t even tell you what the bargain was. And I really don’t like to repeat myself, I don’t think anyone does, but I’ll ask again and let you change your answer if you want.” When he shakes his head again Wanda clenches her jaw before taking the knife out and hitting his forehead with the handle end of the knife, enjoying the crack of his skull. When he lets out a groan she swiftly flips the knife around before plunging it into the same spot, watching as blood steadily pours from the wound. She really didn’t like when people told her no.

She pulls the knife from your father’s forehead before turning to your mother, a sadistic smile on her face. “I don’t suppose you’ll give me the right answer, will you?” The question was rhetorical of course as she plunges the knife into the woman’s chest before even allowing her the time to properly process the question, hearing her scream in agony before slitting her throat, the noise quickly dying down into a gurgling.

Wanda steps back to admire her work, the front of her clothes practically soaked in blood, it was messy but she was always proud of the work she did.

Wanda finally turns back toward you, eyeing you as she thinks to herself. She really didn’t want to murder you, torture maybe, but she didn’t want to kill you. After all, it was your parents who took part in the corruption of the town, not you… Well, she supposes she’ll just have to take you home with her, a win-win situation, you didn’t die and she got herself a pretty new pet. She noted how you looked absolutely terrified and kept your eyes mostly towards the ground, she didn’t blame you really, but it wasn’t something she liked. Well, she’d just have to fix that later, wouldn’t she? She couldn’t have a pet that wouldn’t even look at her.

You were still frozen in place, eyes darting between your parents’ corpses, the Scarlet Witch, and the floor. You were shaking slightly, your bottom lip quivering as you tried to keep yourself from crying. You can’t believe this had just happened, maybe this was just a nightmare? What did your parents do to deserve this? Nothing, that’s what. Well, as far as you know they didn’t deserve it. And oh god the Scarlet Witch was staring at you now, that meant you were next, didn’t it? Tears start falling down your face once more. 

“Aren’t you precious?” Wanda coos, walking towards you, she wasn’t that far, only a few steps away, so you couldn’t get away even if you tried. You want to run, to hide, to do anything, but your brain can’t seem to get your body to move and now Wanda is standing right in front of you and you feel like you’re going to sob. 

You whimper as Wanda brings her hand up and puts her finger under your chin, tilting your head upward to make you look at her. A sick smile makes its way onto Wanda’s face as she looks at you, she’s looking at you as if she can see your thoughts and it makes your stomach churn. If this were a normal encounter you might have found Wanda attractive, maybe even asked for her number if you could work up the courage. But all you can think of right now is that your parents are dead and that this murderer wants you to be next, and suddenly Wanda isn’t as attractive anymore. You’re not expecting Wanda to reach for a cloth from her back pocket and try to smother you, or you think she’s trying to smother you, the cloth smells almost sweet and a little like alcohol. You can feel yourself starting to get drowsy, your eyelids half closed.

 It takes about five minutes for you to fall unconscious and Wanda lets out a pleased hum when you do, tucking the cloth back into her back pocket and picking you up. Chloroform wasn’t her favorite sedative, it always took too long, but this was a bit of an impromptu visit and she wasn’t exactly expecting to want or need a sedative. She always kept one just in case, you could never be too prepared. Wanda looks around, making sure she’s not forgetting anything before slipping her gloves off and placing them in her back pocket as well. She walks out of the house, glad you had forgotten to close the door when you came in, it would’ve been annoying to have to try and maneuver your limp hand to twist the door knob so that she wouldn’t leave any prints.

She has you in a princess carry, the position giving off more of a ‘my girlfriend drank a little too much’ vibe rather than giving away that you were sedated. Wanda had parked a little ways down the road, not too close to your parents’ house but not too far away either. She unlocks the car, opening the back passenger's side door and carefully maneuvering you inside. She was playing the part of caring girlfriend for anyone who was watching, she couldn't just toss you back there haphazardly, it was suspicious. There's a fond, albeit fake, smile on her face when she closes the door and circles around the car to get into the driver's seat. It wasn't too long of a drive to her house, about maybe two and a half hours if she was speeding the whole way and three if she didn't want to get pulled over. For obvious reasons, today was one of those three hour drive days.

When you wake up you let out something akin to a little whine as you stretch, trying to cover your eyes to shield them from the light and huffing when you’re stopped by something tugging back on your wrist. You furrow your eyebrows before realizing you’re not laying in your warm bed under all of your blankets with your plushies, in fact, what you’re laying on is quite cold and hard… 

You shoot up when you remember the events that led up to this point and you frantically look around the room, eyes darting towards the corner of the room when you hear a chuckle. Wanda is sitting in an armchair in front of a desk that looks to have a bunch of computer monitors on it, a security system she had set up, but you didn’t need to know that. “Don’t be scared, little doll. I only hurt the bad people, remember? And as far as I know, there’s no reason for me to hurt you.” Has Wanda said that to you before? You can’t remember, not with your mind racing and your head spinning. You’re starting to panic again, knowing that you’re alone with the Scarlet Witch god knows where and there’s very little chance of anyone ever finding you here. You don’t know how long you’d been out or how long you’ve been here, but you do know that Wanda is watching you from across the room like you’re some sort of toy for her to play with.

“Why don’t we try introductions again? I’m Wanda, would you like to tell me your name now?” You hear the Scarlet Witch, now known as Wanda say, and it’s phrased as a question, but you know it really isn’t one. “Y-Y/n.” It takes a bit longer than Wanda would’ve liked and it comes out as a whisper, but it’s still loud enough to be heard. “My, what a pretty name.” Wanda muses. She knew that your parents had a daughter from her research on her most recent victims, but you were rather good at keeping most details about yourself private, unlike your parents. 

Now, Wanda wouldn’t normally say her real name, but she knows you won’t be leaving any time soon, she’d make sure of that. And by the time she lets you go outside, your worst nightmare would be letting people know Wanda’s real name and getting her caught. She’s going to make you need her.

“Do you want to watch something fun, sweet girl?” Wanda asks, not waiting for an answer before pressing a button on a small black remote. A large television screen mounted on the wall you hadn’t noticed before clicks on. The screen displays a live news broadcast depicting, in much less detail than Wanda thinks gives it justice, what had happened to your family along with a description of what you look like as the news broadcaster says you’re now missing. The next thing to come up on the screen was a sobbing Kate, begging anyone and everyone to help find her best friend. She looked desperate, really, it made Wanda chuckle and you start to cry.

“You know, that picture of you looks really cute and you do look good with y/h/c, but I think you’d suit blonde much better so I picked up some things from the store on our way home while you were asleep.” Wanda smiles, holding up a box of blonde hair dye. “We can’t risk having anyone recognize you, can we, little doll? Especially not your little friend. She is your friend, right? Or is that your little girlfriend?” Wanda teases. “Well. I can always get rid of her if she decides to come looking because she misses you too much. She doesn’t look too difficult to lure out here.” She’s teasing of course, wanting to elicit a reaction out of you, she’d likely leave Kate alone as long as she doesn’t get too close. And she most definitely won’t. “N-No! Please don’t, leave Kate alone…” You trail off, realizing you essentially just yelled at Wanda. 

Wanda arches an eyebrow, amused at how the confidence seemed to drain from you. “Hm, I don’t know. You know, she is rather pretty, actually, it would be a waste to kill such a pretty girl. Maybe I’d just bring her to the guest room, I’m sure training two dolls wouldn’t be too hard.” She says, enjoying how you seem to panic at the prospect of Wanda kidnapping her friend. “Ah, I have more important people to deal with anyway. But first, why don’t we go get you cleaned up.” Wanda stands up from the chair and turns off the television. She walks over to you and unhooks the cuffs around your wrists from the wall. “Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom.” 

She stands you up and leads you out of the room with a hand on your back. Wanda’s being oddly nice to you and you can tell, you know that means that something bad must be coming because it’s such a stark contrast from the Wanda you saw back at your house and you can’t help but shudder at the thought. As you both walk through the house, you note that there’s a door in the kitchen that leads to the backyard, but you don’t know where the front door is. You also notice that there are a lot of doors in the house in general, you don’t know if you want to know where they go or not.

When they get to the bathroom, Wanda tells you to stay put before going to get towels and fresh clothes. She can’t have you wearing the same clothes you went missing in, and trusting that you’re too scared to even attempt to escape right now, she doesn’t worry too much. You, however, wait a few seconds before taking this as your opportunity to escape and run back towards the kitchen and out of the house into the backyard. When you get outside, you notice how dark it is right now and you almost curse, but don’t want to waste any time so you look around briefly before running into the woods, thinking Wanda won’t be able to find you as quickly if you’re both lost in the trees. 

Wanda curses when she gets back and finds that you’re gone, it had only been about a minute and a half so you couldn’t have gotten too far. She storms into the kitchen and grabs a rather large knife before walking outside, seeing footprints in the grass. The green blades squished where you had stepped on them. She clicks her tongue before walking into the woods, “Y/n darling, come out, come out wherever you are.” She sings, dragging the flat of the knife against the tree bark. 

You flinch as you hear Wanda’s voice echo through the trees, trying to keep up your pace. You never were a good runner. You skid to a stop as you almost ran off the side of a rock bank. Of course Wanda had to live close to nothing but the ocean. A pretty view, but you’d have to admire it later. You were panicking now, knowing Wanda could easily find you having just run in a fairly straight line. Your eyes widen when you hear a tree branch snap and footsteps coming your way. In a panic you try to climb a tree only to have Wanda pull you down by your ankle and land on the ground. 

“Got you.” Wanda chuckles and you audibly gulp in fear. You whimper as she grabs a fistful of your hair and tugs you up off of the ground. You’re quiet as Wanda quite literally starts to drag you back toward the house by your hair, only letting out pained whimpers when she’d tug too hard. “And to think I was trying to be nice with you. You should be grateful that you’re not already dead and this is what I get in return? What made you think this was a good idea, huh, dumb girl? You thought I wouldn’t catch you? What a stupid, stupid girl.” Wanda says, shaking her head, her tone angry.

When you don’t answer, she tugs harder, eliciting a whimper from the yor lips. “Answer me.” She demands, almost daring you not to. “I– I don’t know, I’m sorry.” You cry, knowing you were going to regret trying to escape. Wanda was pulling really hard on your hair and you think you’d do almost anything to get it to stop. “Yeah, you’re going to be.” Wanda almost growls, dragging you out of the woods and through the backyard. “Aw, does it hurt? Are you crying?” She mocks, noticing the sniffling and the tears falling down your face. “Maybe next time you won’t decide that your clearly empty head can make smart decisions.” She almost throws open the door into the kitchen and steadily makes her way down into the basement, dragging you with her, before throwing you to the ground and locking the door behind you. “Now, let’s have some real fun, shall we?” Wanda grins, a dangerous glint in her eyes as she takes the knife from where she had shoved it in her back pocket.

[ransprang]

thank you @qlassicc for supporting our kofi <3 here is the last boi!! we hope you liked all the hcs!! we love your taste in men it's so wild, you go girl

if anyone else wants personalised hcs this is our ko-fi

Stranger things - Henry creel - SFW HCs

Whenever you try to be affectionate with Henry or try to spoil him he’d be confused. He’s not used to being attended to. It feels foreign to him, but it will take him some time to get used to.

He hates all of humanity, so you don’t need to worry about him cheating or being disloyal. It’s just you and him in the Upside Down <3

Your emotional side is not a challenge for him at all. With his telepathic powers he reads your mind whenever he wants to and is easily able to tell what is wrong. 

If someone hits on him or checks him out and you tell him, he will instantly use his telekinesis to torture them.

He’s totally ok with you getting heads for him, even if you just do it for fun. If you choose to be a serial killer with him you guys would be such a power couple :3

To mess with Mike and the gang you would use your cosplay skills to make yourself and Henry look like Vecna and the mindflayer for Halloween. 

He is very thankful for your devotion and likes to ask you for cuddles, maybe even your sweaters. As he hates being cold, he gets so happy when you are clingy with him allowing him to simply roll up with you and forget his woes.

Growing up Henry was a sensitive boy, and was very attuned to other people’s emotions. He would notice your little mood swings and telekinesis little snacks or presents for you, if he thought you were feeling down.

Henry gets super careful when you're hugging him and fall asleep on his shoulder. He will make sure to stay extra still, he wouldn't want to wake you up knowing how much of yourself you give to him.

Henry knows he speaks in an unusual tone most of the time, but he knows for sure that one of your 100 personalities will hear him, understand him. He trusts you.

your strange girlies,

admins sar, san & sav

[rainre]

about Willy/Findo. . . I simply rewrote what I wrote in Russian to couple of my friends.

DO NOT take it seriously. Please.

why does it exist? because Findo seems like an emotional person, very emotional. most likely, as a Middlewood resident, he is afraid of Willy Mack. terribly afraid. Willy didn’t choose him as a victim on purpose, the guy just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. . . But Willy will realize later that in a sense he has found a treasure, an ideal victim for his sadistic nature.

‼️TW? I'm not sure if this is necessary, but mention of suffocation, hint of cannibalism (that was an interesting theory or headcanon that Willy might be a cannibal and it fits this idea).

Kidnapping and maximum abuse. It’s fun with Findo, he’s terrified, almost fainting, cries, shys away, he seems to be trying to break free, but he is so afraid that he simply obeys. And absolutely seriously, he simply understands that anyway his life is in danger. And maybe if he resists, Willy will hurt him faster. Does he want pain? Not a bit, he's afraid of it. And what makes him even more afraid is undisguised sadism: if Willy star to hurt him, he is unlikely to stop.

This is how we begin. Willy regulary brings Findo almost to his limits on purpose, without actually doing anything. Because even a permanent violation of personal space will be enough. The guy is already in tension, he was fucking kidnapped by a serial killer known for his cruelty. An abundance of affectionate, but persistent hugs, touches on the arms, neck (it’ll be enough to strangle Findo a couple of times so that every time Willy’s fingers approach this area he will cause a plaintive, tearful “please. . .") definitely won't be pleasant, only more tension. Everything will result not in murder, but in torture and incomplete restriction of life.

And in the end, Findo will get used to it. Gradually he will completely stop twitching while being touched in any way. The brain is an interesting thing, amazing, and one of its wonderful properties is getting used to any conditions. It can really get used to anything (there was a terrible example of this in one film: Jews in a concentration camp had the opportunity to escape. Someone shout to them “run, you can escape!” and some of them really ran... But a considerable part of people were just standing. They're used to bullets, they're used to seeing death, they're used to it. They're so broken that they can't see the point in trying to save their life). Findo will sit humbly, he will already accept the hands on his neck, it doesn’t matter whether they gently stroke or strangle him until his mind becomes clouded, he will accept it without frightened pleading mumbling, as a matter of course, because this will become a must, it will be ordinary life.

And maybe someone will someday find out where all of Findo’s haters disappeared one after another, if anyone even finds such a connection (it’s unlikely, no one will know that on the day of their disappearance two will eat strange-tasting meat, and this, perhaps an important part of such a story).

[zappedbyzabka]

Prompt: Serial Killers

for @ckhalloween23

(Scream au. Lawrusso. Little fast paced. Just one of a couple variations I’m going to make and build on. Wonky timeline)

Johnny slams the fridge closed dramatically, huffing and stomping towards the ringing phone. He’s pissed all day about various things. One is the fact that no colleges have gotten back to him yet. Is he really that…dumb? He could have sworn despite the various times he’d skip classes in school and flunk, that all the debutante bullshit Sid forced him into would at least work for something. Bobby assured him

(“Oh, come on, Johnny. I don’t hang out with stupid people—“he glanced at Tommy and Dutch, then back at him “Actually, scratch that. All I’m saying is that you’re not *educationally* a dumbass, alright?”)

It helped yet didn’t at all. Of course Bobby isn’t stressed, he and Jimmy have always been the smart ones. Johnny would go as far as to say they’re Harvard material. That comfort was fine and dandy, but Dutch was never good at reading the room, he was always just even more affectionate when Johnny was struggling. Arm around his shoulders as Johnny vented about it all. He just wants to get out of his stepfather’s hands, maybe become a doctor, make good money, and be on his own. Make a family at some point. How can he do that if no school wants him? What if he ends up as a plumber? Dealing with shit for shit money. What if he has to strip for perverts? And he wishes he could stop fucking thinking about that annoying little worm, LaRusso. The fighting and tournament are all over yet he seems to run into him everywhere…he can’t even say he hates it. He almost feels excited every time he sees him, especially when Ali isn’t there—so much less tension. So much more time to chat civilly with less filter. He finds himself hoping they broke up and not because he wants her back. Every date he’d been on recently never called him back. It’s like no one wants him except the cobras—and god is he thankful for them even when they say he’s wrong

(“Hey, at least you look cool even when you’re acting like a total diva.” Dutch teased, and Johnny stiffened. They always called him that and he usually scoffs, but right then it just felt like a way to tell him he’s over reacting.

No, it WAS. “I’m not being a diva. Why do you always say that shit?”

“I think you meant drama queen—“ Tommy started, mouth snapping shut at Bobby’s firm look. “Sorry.”

“What’s so great about college? Can’t you just, I don’t know, work at a diner?” Dutch shrugged

Jimmy raised his brows and nudged Johnny’s shoulder with his, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Don’t listen to him. We understand, okay?”

Johnny smiled at him. Jimmy once said he was one of the only people who never made him feel irritated, even with all his chaos. He’d even let him snag one of his grandpa sweaters, which he was usually such a prissy princess about, and just rolled his eyes when Johnny showed up to school one day wearing one. The day they met, he and Johnny were more alike than different, and that always stuck.

Johnny pushed Dutch’s arm off him hard and Jimmy’s off gently. Dutch frowned as Johnny walked to his bike, the other cobras watching and sharing looks.

“What’d I do?” Dutch all but whined to Bobby who smacked him over the head. “Don’t leave, man, please?”

Johnny shook his head and straddled his bike, grabbing his helmet. “Thanks for the pep talk, guys. I’ll see you later.”

“Call me when you get home!” Bobby shouted as Johnny sped off.)

It must be one of them. Dutch or Bobby in a coin toss. Dutch calling with a sheepish apology, asking if he can bring a pack of beer over. Bobby calling to cheer him up a little and give him tips on making better applications. Maybe Jimmy calling to talk about some movie or book, focusing on the action because he knows Johnny likes it most—a great storyteller. Or maybe it’s Tommy with a laugh in his voice, ready to make him cackle so hard his stomach cramped.

He picks up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hi,” A strange voice answers. It’s like they’re using some sort of modulator.

“Uh, who is this?”

“If I tell you, will you give me a chance?” the voice croon.

A chance at what? “Sure, whatever. Who the hell is this?”

The man chuckles, “So feisty. I always liked that about you.”

“I…what?”

“What's your dating life like? Wait, Let me guess, not going so well?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“What’s your fucking problem?”

“Hey, hey. I’m just curious, you never tell me about those kinds of things when we talk.“

“I never tell you?….Who is this?”

Johnny swears he hears something in the background. Something like wheezing, scraping.

“You wanna play twenty questions?”

“You wanna stop playing games and get to the point or did you want to keep prattling?” Johnny counters, walking back to the fridge with the phone pressed to his shoulder.

“No, I want to play with you for a long time.”

Johnny’s face heats up. “Maybe I’ll let you “play” with me if you tell me more about yourself. Like your name, for example.”

Why is he enjoying this?

“Well, sure!” the voice answers cheerily. “What do you want to know? Other than my name. If I gave you it now that’d be no fun. ”

Johnny thinks about it. It's someone semi-close to him at the least with how he speak. Must be some lame prank.

“Do you…live with your parents?”

“Interesting choice. Yes. My ma was very adamant that I stay until I have everything together.”

Johnny’s ears might as well have physically perked up. “Ma”. He knows a lot of people call their moms that but…

“You know, the way you talk reminds me of a boy who’d be *dead* if this were him.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. This prick from New Jersey….Kind of changed my life. Mostly for the worse I’d say.”

A hum. “You don’t sound like you hate him all that much for someone who change your life for the worse. Do you?”

Johnny stops pouring the coke staring at the half-filled cup and chewing on his lip “It’s not your turn to ask me things yet.”

“Oh, come on. Humor me.”

“Well, I guess not anymore. I kind of… appreciate him. I’d have stayed with him if he never came around. My buddies too.

“Him?”

“My teacher. Bad guy. Tried to kill me.”

“Should have killed him.” he sounds angry. surprisingly so, like a switch had been flipped.

The mansion is so…eery without his mom and Sid there. Unsettling in a different way than when they’re home. He rests his elbow on the counter, pulling his sleeve over his cold fingers. Will he get drilled into it for turning on the heat? Racking up the bill. “Great idea but I don’t really want to go to jail because I’m actually trying to have a life.”

“I wasn’t talking about you killing, I was talking about me.”

Johnny goes silent. So he knows all about it—what Kreese did—and only so many do.

“You look pretty in that sweater, Johnny.”

It takes Johnny’s brain a moment to process that and when it does he stands up straight, looking out the windows he can see.

“Wha—How do know what I’m wearing?” He changed after he got home. There’s no way he could know that unless…

“Are you all alone?”

Yes. Painfully so.

“I—I’m over this. Bye.”

“Did you lock all the doors?“

Click. He practically slams the phone back in the holder, nerves haywire all over again. He dumps his drink out in the sink in favor of some of the scotch stashed in the cabinet

Pouring it hurriedly then going upstairs to get loose and pass out for a good night's rest.

——————————————————————————

Johnny startles awake, his eyes darting in the direction of the sudden cracking noise—heart jumping in his throat when he sees someone successfully breaking into his room. How did he not wake up sooner?

A big white face with a gaping mouth, gloved hands pushing open the window and stumbling in: clumsy.

Adrenaline hits him like a train.

He slinks off his bed and onto the ground just as the intruder's feet meet the floor

They’re not exactly tall, and their flowy black attire makes it hard to determine their stature

He stands up quickly and runs toward the person but a glint makes him stop in his tracks.

The person tilts their head like a dog, bringing out a kitchen knife smeared with blood.

They step towards him, and he steps back, that pattern continuing until Johny only has the corner of the wall behind him, nowhere to escape. He was taught better than this—maybe he can still run.

The intruder sweeps his legs causing him to fall on his back and lose all his breath, lungs feeling like they were punched, his head knocking on the floor making him see stars. The person gets between his legs easily and puts a hand on his chest to hold him down (though it feels more like a grope) and the blade still held in warning

Maybe he could get it away from him. Maybe he can get himself to move if he just takes a deep breath. Wills away the dizziness.

Heavy breathing comes from the mask, and he trails the blade down Johnny's body slowly. Toying with him. Staring at him with big black eyes. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d catch yourself better, you’re usually such a cat….” he leans in “You’ve been drinking again, haven’t you? Bad boy.”

“Are you going to kill me? Johnny asks, voice high and tight.

“Are you scared?” his voice is strange like he’s impersonating someone, like they’re going as deep as they can. Breathy.

Johnny grits his teeth, eyes on the blood smeared on the mask.

“I…I’ll give you whatever you want of mine. Just please don’t take my parents’ stuff—“

The boy shakes his head. “Don’t be scared.”

Johnny’s hands tremble where they’re clutching his sweater. He could wrap his legs around his waist and squeeze tight, roll him over, and surprise him enough to escape.

But the knife—but the butterflies in his stomach.

He was always fascinated by knives. The way they reflected things. He used to play with the switchblade his dad left when he was young. He hid it from his mom until the day he accidentally sliced his hand and needed stitches. She was furious, he was thinking about just how dark his blood was. Not at all like the movies he’d watch that looked like ketchup. He thought it was beautiful

“I know you like blood on your hands but — “ The intruder swipes the red off his mask with a finger, leather shining with it. Johnny’s eyes follow widely, “Is it like I do?”

He almost sounds hopeful. Vulnerable. Johnny’s heart thumps loudly. he hates murder. Murder is wrong. It’d make him a bad person if he sometimes thought about going further than a strike. More than just his hands and high kicks and words. He says nothing, and the boy tuts his tongue, wiping the blood on Johnny’s lips like some sort of fucked up lipstick.

“I think you do. I know you, Johnny. Better than you think I do. Better than you know me.”

“No. No. I don’t like it.” Johnny chokes out, tongue threatening to peek out a lick his lips clean.

He can just sense he’s smiling. “Okay, pretty boy.”

He knows him. He *knows* him.

The intruder covers his eyes, shushing soothingly when Johnny goes tense

“No more dates for you. ” he whispers, and Johnny flinches when he feels the heat of their mouth hovering over his. “I’ll keep making sure of it. And since you *don’t* want blood on your hands, you should probably just give up because next time, I’ll stab them when you’re still there.”

It clicks in his head like a phone getting hung up: All the failed dates, they’re dead. All because of him. All because this man is… is what? Obsessed with him?

He kisses Johnny out of no where and it’s eager, rough like he had been waiting forever. Like he’s trying to eat Johnny like a blood-glazed cake lips first and he just lays there and takes it. Opens his mouth and tastes his tongue: iron and mint. Something interesting.

He turns his head abruptly, hand still covering his eyes firmly, and the kiss breaks with a wet noise that has Johnny’s feeling warm. He breathes through his nose, tears welling at the corner of his eyes. He’s striking first and Johnny hasn’t struck him once

“Aw. I’m disappointed you’re done so soon, but that’s okay. I’m not pushy. I wasn’t even sure you’d let me…You chew on things so much, you have no idea the things I think about you.“

A rustle, then the moonlight filling Johnny’s vision again.

The murderer gets up and saunters to his bedroom door, looking back at him with his hand on the knob

Johnny sits up his elbows, licking the roof of his mouth to savor.

“One day, I won’t have to make calls, ‘cause you are instead,” he tells Johnny like a promise before he opens the doors with a creak and steps out.

Johnny lays back again, shaking with it all. No want in him to close his window or see if the boy is burglarizing the mansion or just going out the front door like he owns the place.

He might ask someone out tomorrow.

[flatstarcarcosa]

All ship questions for Abe :) (dadbodsandbots)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

he broke into my fucking house and refused to leave. i have our story pick up after he dips in s2, and figure that i'm /near/ sleepy hollow but not directly in it. he finds my cabin and just thinks it's empty and free real estate. it is not. although. he never pays rent so i guess for him it was free real estate.

he kinda gets stuck because there's a bay window in the kitchen with sunlight blocking him on one side of the cabin and that's how i find him when i come home.

What was their first impression of each other?

monster fucking tendencies aside, there was some stuff on fringe news sources about the headless horseman. SH police tried to keep a lid on it but you know how the internet is. i am trope aware enough to be a bit wary of the headless serial killer now in my kitchen but also. i am on day 8 of 9 of work before a single day off between another 9 day stretch so i'm a bit kinda.

"don't gotta work if no head tho-"

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

doesn't really apply for obvious reasons. eventually i DO talk about 'the boyfriend' but am understandably cagey about a lot of it. i think some people think i'm just making up a boyfriend for some reason until he finally gets his head back and can like. be in public.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

oh i think he did. mine was just MAN BIG MCLARGE HUGE SEXY for a good bit, meanwhile me just treating him normally and putting effort into being able to communicate with him and being willing to trust him when he says (writes a note) that he just wanted to be left alone but hadn't considered what that entailed and as i've done him no wrong he has no reason to be hostile towards me so like. could he idk hang out. started getting to him.

his own mistakes leading to his own suffering aside there is the fact that like. man was already half dead when moloch showed up, it's heavily implied moloch and hell targeted him specifically because of his relationship with both ichabod and katrina to become the horseman, and regardless of people having damn good reason to treat him like a monster it still throws him for a loop to fumble into someone who. doesn't do that.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

also him. he teeters for a while between still wholly blaming ichabod and katrina for how things went with growing realization that they're NOT entirely to blame. also my hc's of 'he was in love with both, got neither, went a bit unhinged about it' he's hesitant to open himself up.

also, joking about it aside, he thinks for a while there's no way i'm not fucking with him because. he's fucking headless. he hasn't treated me monsterably but he is undeniably a monster so what could i possibly be interested in.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

sometimes when it's late at night, especially if i've been having a bad time and am only finding sleep after days, and he's still awake watching me curled up next to him he thinks it's weird how things turned out. he's not a 'everything happens for a reason' type of guy, esp considering the things he's experienced but.

what are the odds, you know?

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

man wandering loose and alone in woods, foraging for murder victims. local alcoholic pharmacy tech crashes and burns.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

it was mutual. the notes/charades and half-assed ASL and me learning his body language actually made us VERY good at communicating non verbally. he started doing nice things initially out of boredom and to pass the time while stuck inside in an otherwise tiny cabin, but eventually realized that it was also. oddly rewarding to have it appreciated.

i don't think he realized it was mutual until i started being physically affectionate though. first time he was sitting on the couch and i plopped my ass down on his lap had him like

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

not really because of the obvious. i think the FL vacation we take after his reheading should count though. we spend two weeks down here and then spontaneously add a third only because he spent enough days being besieged by demons he felt cheated of an actual vacation.

"so you're telling me the nations oldest city isn't haunted, it's full of demons?"

"it's goddamn infested is what it is and i didn't bring enough shotgun shells for this"

"i mean. it's florida. they're not hard to find."

What was their first kiss like?

POV abe abbie and ichabod pop out of a hell port 3 days late after disappearing to stop an apocalypse. i'd assumed they'd succeeded when the timer ran out and the world kept spinning but i'd started getting worried. all three of them are exhausted and bloody.

abe only went because they cajoled him into it out of desperation, and the agreement that if he helped they'd give him his head back.

me, having the enchanted ring means i don't immediately realize he's already taken it back. surprise!

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

i definitely think i was too focused on being an insane alcoholic trying to make it day to day to have had any relationships in this setting, so.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

in my mind he's 6'4 (with head). which means he was already tall before imagine how fucking mad i am after the reheading when he's taller. age difference is like what 220ish slutty slutty years.

although, i remember something somewhere saying he was only 27 when he died. i don't know if that was an official age thing or just a fanon thing but if we roll with that and discount the years he was waterlogged in the river we're close in age.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

non-applicable. man's reheaded before he even finds out i have a sister. (so like, almost two years into knowing each other)

Who takes the lead in social situations?

by necessity for a while, me, because our only social situations outside each other are w ichabod and abbie and someone has to translate. post reheading it's usually him.

Who gets jealous easier?

him. i only do it if it's funny.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

oh that's equal depending on the situation.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

probably him, but not until after getting his head back. cringe comp, horseman of death less emotionally constipated than i am.

What are their primary love languages?

Abe is gift giving, which is. ironic because the man fucking sucks at giving gifts. he STILL falls into thinking "expensive = good" and gets confused when he buys something meant as an obvious joke and i end up being DELIGHTED by it. also he turns himself into an acts of service ass mf, stays confused at how this happens.

mine is also acts of service, as well as quality time.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

both but only For The Bit.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

i don't tend to engage in PDA much but i also don't rebuff it. i do however climb like a fucking tree at home, esp when it's a case of i had to struggle through work and my brain shut off the second i walked in the door.

Who initiates kisses?

it's mutual and genuinely depends on who's hornier.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

i am just a leetle creachur, i cannot help des.

What are their favorite things to do together?

when he's still headless obviously it's a lot of inside stuff. i think we do get to the point where we take the horse out at night though, but he's always a bit on edge to make sure no one is around.

reheading opens it up a lot more. he likes doing a lot of stuff outside just because of the novelty of being able to be out in the sun without burning to a crisp.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

look he tries but his immediate go-tos are a "oh, darling" and tea and sometimes i'm at the point where if this mf shoves one more cup of tea at me he's gonna have hot liquid in his newly regained eyes.

Who’s more protective?

him most definitely. although, i get defensive of him sometimes when it comes to abbie and ichabod. you don't have to like him or trust him (even though at a certain point it's clear he's not going to fuck them up any longer) but you're not going to be rude in my fucking house.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

abe leans towards both and i lean towards physical because i have Weird Hangups about Words.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Royal Blood -- Little Monster

The Black Keys - Next Girl

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Abe. :) even though canonically others refer to his as Brahm/Brom as a nickname i think he likes i just defaulted to something else all on my own. Petnames aside he has a very specific way of saying Reese sometimes that makes it feel like a nickname.

Who remembers the little things?

i have chronic forgoring disease so it's not me, usually.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

we do not. he does eventually consider the idea despite initially thinking he was never gonna do that again but i am staunchly anti-marriage.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Do they have any pets?

Rufus :) also I end up getting some hamsters. he is immensely confused about having rodents as pets. he is also eternally frustrated that they keep getting out of the fucking cages.

it happens so often he'll find rufus just standing somewhere and looking between a spot under a piece of furniture and back again and it's just [deep sigh] "is there a hamster loose, rufus?" [small boof] "of course there is. you could eat one, i won't tell on you."

Who’s the stricter parent?

Who worries the most?

in general about anything i have the anxieties disorders. about specific things, he genuinely worries about the fact he's a magnet for demons and other hell creatures, and it only gets kicked up after some of them shred the cabin.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

it depends on the bug. he finds my eternal war against cockroaches fascinating and concerning. the way i can hear them in the fucking baseboards is genuinely unsettling.

one time a snake got in and all he heard from the other end of the house was "oh. ohhhh nooo, no not today. no sir. no thank you. may i ask you to vacate the doorway-"

How do they celebrate holidays?

i'm in the funk of just not doing so when we meet but i do think over time ichabod and abbie's influence drags us into it.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

me, but he doesn't need much convincing.

Who’s the better cook?

well it's not the 18th century aristocrat that never did a single thing for himself before dying that's for fucking sure.

Who likes to dance?

i'm prone to moving around if i have music going and i think he tries to get me to like. dance-dance sometimes but i always get weirdly flustered about it for some reason.

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

Picturing Eye-eye's perception of alastor, husk and nifty like theyre the mean girls. Everything she's heard about them were just rumors, gossip from old demons who wanted somebody to talk to. The opposite of the truth behind their characters. So to her, 'The Radio Demon' (she doesn't even know his name at that point) was a power hungry, evil serial killer cannibal that everyone both feared and loved that disappeared because he was tired of the spotlight, Husk is the know-it-all that would kill for Alastor and his wings are so big because it contains so many secrets, and Nifty is the idiot that loves stabbing roaches. (/affectionate)

Her view of everything is so messed up it's getting a bit funny? Can I say that?? She doesn't understand that Alastor wouldn't care less about a weakling like her, that Husk would rather kill Alastor then kill for him, and Nifty... I mean.. technically the elders weren't wrong but they aren't necessarily right either. Meet the plastics but it's replaced with the 'Radio Demon', Husk and Nifty. That's probably what she dreams about sometimes, waking up in a cold sweat because she never wants to be so close to those people ever in the waking world.

AUJSJSJJDHFHFHHFJGJ THIS IS. SO FUNNY.

i'm dying at the mental image this induces just this tiny little thing is so worried the radio demon and his lackeys are coming to get her when it's more like they don't even know she exists and if they did, they wouldn't care.

husk being like "oh you thought i'd kill for alastor? HAH you're funny, i hope that bitch has a stroke and dies again" and eye-eye is just sitting and nodding quietly because she doesn't want to upset him.

niffty's description is spot on. 10/10, no comments lol

[haechanhues]

my top twenty four biases as nicknames people call/called me irl <3 and i just tagged people to do the same (with however many biases they want to include and nicknames etc)

tagging : @rum-gone-why @liliansun @okeylokiyuh @seolboba @aspenwritesstuff @jisungsdaydreamer @shwizhies @timextoxhajima

haechan (nct) - 'dante'.... is a nickname given to me because of a guy i liked. i didn't have a crush on him at first but people speculated that we were dating because we were always together and shit. his friends used to call me 'dante' all the time, even FOUR YEARS AFTER IT HAPPENED! no but...i did really like him and i really like hyuck so-

sunwoo (tbz) - 'little hua' or 'little shit' you pick. given by my mother and said affectionately after i say some smart ass shit i should get a whack for. i think sunwoo fits both a little more than the rest because he'll just shrug it off like i do? i think he has the attitude i have when i hear it and he'll wear it like a second skin.

yeonjun (txt) - 'our 10' which was a nickname that didn't really stick thank god, but i used to play competitive volleyball and my number was the number 10. but i was the quietest on the team by a long shot. but whenever i did something that surprised them, or if a boy talked to me or WHATEVER that didn't fit their image of me, they'd call me their 10 and make it out like i was their baby growing up. and yeonjun just has big support energy with flirty tendencies.

beomgyu (txt) - 'terror'...yes. it's a legit nickname. it fits in with my real name and there is meaning to it. when i was young, i used to terrorise my cousin and beat him up (in the later nicknames you'll see i mention 'baby boy'...same one) and his dad talks about it all the time. he used to call me that back in the sandpit days but NOW my other uncle on my other side calls me that. in fairness i don't call him 'uncle' but i call him 'nana' (pronounced nana/nuh nuh) and it's just a lot of headlocking and a lot of bickering and banter and just a lot of love. same as beomgyu.

lee know (skz) 'silent serial killer' ..a name given by my cousin who just likes to remind me how evil and calculated i am (in a fond way just saying...) i also love lee know's sense of humour and i've used some of his jokes on people and i've loved every second of it.

hyunjin (skz) 'bub' - now...it's gonna sound like i didn't think about it or i thought about it in a different way but i chose it because of his lips and how nice they are. like i know he's this talented and romantic as fuck beautiful soul, don't get me wrong but just the absolute 'bub' effect he has with his lips...couldn't resist sorry. (also bub is just a general nickname every girl seems to get)

hoshi (seventeen) - 'fantail shanay-nay' - ...nickname might be a stretch but it's one of my dad's famous ideas when i asked what my name would've been if it was something else and he brought this up. i thought it was legit for ages until i grew up. thanks dad. love you too. but i gave this to hoshi because he's someone who could probably rock the fuck out of the nickname and make it a whole concept. kind of like david bowie with ziggy stardust and crew.

d.o (exo) - **** (undisclosed) - now this nickname is blurred out for personal reasons, it's nothing bad but it's more personal. this is the name people call me in their daily and the name i hear the most. my cousin first gave me the nickname at 3 (his 3 or my 3 i can't remember) but to the bias who i find the most comfortable, the most warm, the most like home, i gave this nickname to kyungsoo.

san (ateez) - 'fast reactions' although this nickname isn't quite to do with his character or his soul or whatever, it's more on his skillset. it's hard because a lot of my nicknames don't fit him like they do others but he's a hardworker and people talk about it all the time. this was a nickname i got on a whim after reacting to my hat being picked up by the wind, i saved it and just...i get reminded even now about it.

wooyoung (ateez) - 'your yin to his yang' is a nickname that has been slightly altered but is a nickname given by my mother. the 'him' in question is my younger brother who is the total opposite to me. when people learn that we're related they say shit like 'how the hell does that work?' or 'why are you so innocent in comparison?' but i even got a tattoo that's supposed to be a matching set (but isn't because someone got cold feet) that is a representation of me and him and our differences. him as the sun and me as the moon. i gave it to wooyoung because he's just my total opposite.

jongho (ateez) - 'honey' since baby and all that was taken. i used honey. he's also the gummy bear of ateez so it just fits. i think he'd properly get really flustered over the name (or maybe not since wooyoung and san and seonghwa and all them boys exist) but i just..he's a liquid honey boy for real forreal.

jungwon (enhypen) - 'train' now not to be confused by the nsfw definition...but this is purely a case of my first name (not niwa) being directly translated. it's the whole 'sheep garden' thing that happens. i'm not too fond on the nickname, like at all but it's a nickname ain't it?

jihoon (soloist/wanna one) - ' **** mei' it does help that jihoon's fandom name is 'may' and my middle name is mei (surprise). people include - usually my family but not limited to them - my middle name in normal situations when they address me. it always mildly surprises me but when i first saw jihoon's fandom name i was like...of course, i picked the bias who was made for me.

jihoon (treasure) - 't-dawg' ...also another nickname given by the volleyballers. one that was actually used for a lot longer. but jihoon just seems like the type to be the most familiar with it, would probably call me it? i don't know he just seems like the type.

subin (victon) - 'baby' given to me by my boyfriend at the time. biggest slut i knew by the way but i enjoyed it all the same. so when i hear it now i get flashbacks. BUT gave it to subin because of how much his hyungs baby him and make a point to baby him and treat him like their little baby brother at all times. sorry to add salt to the wound but it's cute :)

jimin (bts) - 'toe' now before you ask, no, i don't have a toe/foot fetish. i'm not even sure why they called me it. but this nickname was given to me at the start of high school, all the way until the final day of year 13. i'm not that into bts anymore but i will always remember them and this nickname and the people who called me it very fondly. i also got into kpop around the same time so it was like the passing of an era.

joy (red velvet) - 'monchachi' is a nickname given to me by my mother. it's one she uses more frequently as i'm older and no other person calls me it (except maybe my dad on rare occasions) sometimes I even forget my mum calls me it because she does it so often over my actual given birth name that she gave me. but i gave it to joy because she's sassy and she's the girl that brings fellas to their knees.

yoojung (weki meki/i.o.i) - 'einstein' is a nickname given to me by my brother and in all honesty i'm going by vibes. i feel like she'd suit it in any context. a sarcastic 'yeah, okay, einstein' might ensue play fighting or like idk - pure vibes and just imagining friendship with her.

sooyoung (snsd) - 'angel from hell' another nickname gifted by my cousin (same as silent serial killer) and she gave me this nickname and it always comes with a story 'people think you're some innocent and sweet angel who can do no wrong but i know the kind of bitchy you're hiding, you angel from hell' and i gave this nickname to sooyoung because she's so fiery and sassy and so quick. she also makes me laugh more than anyone else.

chaeryeong (itzy) - 'missy' i chose missy for the reaction i'm sure i'd get. like her little eyebrow raises when somebody says something to her - it just makes me laugh and love her all the more. it's not necessarily like 'i'll fucking fight you' but it's the 'huh? wut did you say to me?' i think it'd be fun. it's also a nickname given to me by my dad and although he has another one, this is one he uses now that i'm grown up. but think chaeryeong's relationship with changbin and you might have similar ideas as to why i chose 'missy'.

yeeun (clc) 'precious girl' is a nickname given by my uncle who gets absolutely thrashed in media, has a blunt sense of humour and is known to be quite controversial is actually really affectionate in real life he calls his son, who's a bit older than me btw, baby boy and it's both the funniest and cutest thing ever. i chose yeeun for the simple fact that she is, in fact, a precious girl.

seunghee (clc) - 'shy/pretty' 'my flower' - now i need to explain this a bit.. but if you didn't know i know sign language (i wouldn't say fluently but enough to converse for long periods of time and translate if need be). my aunty is deaf and she has given me sign names. the first is an action that kind of looks as if your finger is softly twisting in a dimple in your cheeks. this translated to 'shy' but as i got older it became 'pretty' and then there's one that i brainwashed her with but she uses it to greet me and that's the flower pose and now she calls me 'her flower' but in sign and i thought seunghee was perfect for it because she literally only smiled with these bangs and she became my bias. i think about the moment daily by the way. it changed the trajectory of my life as did sign.

kazuha (le sserafim) - 'princess royalty' now this nickname is EMBARRASSING to say without sounding like a stuck up bITCH but my maternal grandfather called me this because of who my paternal grandfather is and how 'famous' and 'wealthy' our family is. but yeah, anyway, i gave this to kazuha because she just reminds me of this pretty princess with her posture and her smile and how beautiful she is.

eunchae (le sserafim) - 'little girl' which although reads a tad creepy I promise it's not, it's the warmest feeling ever because of the people who call me it. it helps that she's the youngest on the list, but the nickname is from my grandparents who will always see me as this person of innocence and childlike regard even when i get older each time i see them.

[ravenspeakrp]

Welcome to Raven’s Peak, Lily we’re excited to have you! Zaya Yildiz (Hande Ercel, Human) has been accepted. Please be sure to stop by the CHECKLIST for the follow list, tags to track, and other reminders.

IN CHARACTER 

FULL NAME: zaya yildiz SPECIES: human AGE: 30  DATE OF BIRTH: june 21st GENDER IDENTITY: cis woman NEIGHBORHOOD: downtown OCCUPATION: detective / forensic pathologist WORKPLACE:  Raven's Peak Sheriff station POSITIVE TRAITS: dexterous , fervent , affectionate NEGATIVE TRAITS: morbid , reckless , head-strong  LENGTH OF TIME IN RAVEN’S PEAK: all her life FACE CLAIM: hande ercel

BIOGRAPHY

TRIGGER WARNING: tw death , cult, homocide , mutilation, torture

―  born the youngest daughter of the yildiz family , zaya was born on june 21st . Her mother whom was raised in a demonic cult before she was taken away as a teenager , had very much plans on drilling the same mentality to her children . Rebuilding the same faith and cult that was instilled in her unaware of the fact that it was a demon using her for a means to an end . Everyone having a role to play in the family , especially her daughter zaya , whom had a special position that has designated her as both the “vessel” for the creature they were trying to resurrect and at the age of ten , zaya would be sacrificed . 

― mustafa whom devoted his time to work and barely home , had no idea of his wife’s doings . Despite it , her father harbored his own dark and twisted secrets. a well known doctor in raven's peak in his community , all while secretly moonlighting as a serial killer . still he never faltered in showing love to his only daughter or at least what was thought to be love .

―  as a child,  mustafa would work around his daughter until she was old enough to retain memories and he stopped  brining nadia down to the basement . at  7  zaya, had gone to her father’s ‘workshop’ where she  discovered a Girl in a Box after a study session with her father .

―  it wasn’t until 6 months prior to zaya’s birth day that mustafa would find out what his wife’s plans were and what had she been doing all these years to his children . the boys and the eldest daughter being the ones who casually tell on their mother .  This would result in a fight in which sevil would try to kill her husband but failing so being overpowered by him and locking her up in the basement of their home where she would curse and berate him in telling him it was too late to stop zaya from being a vessel . 

― Of course secrets cant stay hidden for long when sevil discovered her husband’s doing which forced mustafa to kill her . unknowingly zaya was awake that night and watched as her mother bled out before her father went to work in the basement.

― with the help of his four oldest children , mustafa found sevil’s journal and workings . at first believing his wife to be delusional , only for it to be proven wrong a couples days after when old cult members would come to take his daughter but lied in saying his wife ran off with her . Of course , the cult didn’t believe him. warning him he had a day or he dies . opening his eyes to the supernatural in town . people whom he would know and go out drinking with on his days off . seclusion became the only answer as he pulled his children out of school . for the first time the killer became the prey. it terried him but also excited him . to have so much power . the night before her tenth birthday , the cult members caused him to crash his car . In the mist took zaya and her siblings . 

―  as the young girl regained her senses , zaya found herself tied up in her own home and her aunt holding her face to look at her . Hearing the cult members chanting carved the sigil on her back . zaya could only cry out in pain and tell them to stop as they killed her siblings .

―  Fortunately for her , her father didn’t die i the crash , coming back to their home , her father started setting fire to the building . This made them stop, and try to put the fire that already spread too much out . Hearing her father to close her eyes , zaya did just that 

―  zaya wouldn’t be able to tell you what happened that night . She listened but never saw . only the blood, that would cover her father’s hand of his own and his wife’s . among others . Her father drove them to the nearby church where the priest , an old friend of his , would take zaya in before her father succumbed to his injuries .  

―  the priest decided to take her in until he found a home for her . His sister , whom he knew was looking to adopt suggested zaya . Knowing she would be well taken care of. Where eventually zaya would once again gain her smile . The more she got into school and her activities , the more she forgot about the ghosts that walked in her old burned down home .  No more nightmares that pledged her thoughts . Beginning to heal .  It would seem she would reach the normalcy. 

― once she graduated zaya would spending four years of college, four years of medical school, and two in a criminal justice  . keeping in touch with her adopted father and mother . coming back home zaya saw they were looking for hire at the police station . She decided to apply and got the job . working as a detective .

―  despite being unaware of the supernatural , zaya is a pretty smart girl. she loves her works and pretty morbid about it . she also happens to know pretty fun and morbid facts. She’s fascinated with the mind and how other minds works especially in murderers and what makes them tick. She loves a good murder mystery. She doesn’t talk about her past much . you would see a side of her that she tries hard to keep down if you try to bring it up .  masks how she really feels with smiles and making others around her laugh . there are moment when she lets a small temper slip through but those are quick to leave . One of zaya’s most important traits is her need for control - of herself . In order to cope, it is vital that she restrain her dark urges she has at times. she is very organized in all areas of her life. she keeps her home clean and neat, writes meticulous lab reports or any she has to do at the station.

[baenxietydad]

An Incomplete List of Kdramas Mu-yeol Makes Hatter Watch With Him

@davidhatter

He tries to avoid anything from like .... pre-2017 if he can help it bc HOLY misogyny and toxicity from these male leads Batman, but sometimes a show is either A. GOOD, B. iconic staples for the genre; or C. so awful he must subject him to it.

This list only has some of the good dramas lmao

Her Private Life

A cute romcom! He started him off with this one. It includes some classic kdrama tropes: memory loss of a specific traumatic event, childhood connection, rich man not rich woman, long-lost brothers. It's cringe and camp enough to be a good primer for K-dramas-- it's good, great even, but not so good that it ruins every drama after it. But it also does avoid a lot of the most annoying and cringe tropes, things that an avid drama watcher might eat up but not good for a first look into the genre. The leads, Park Min-young and Kim Jae-wook are two of Mu-yeol's favorite actors so it's worth it just for them. Also, it goes into fangirl culture and idol fandom which, fan culture IN Korea is it's own interesting subculture that he can use the drama to explain that aspect to him.

Vicky said Hatter's review of it was positive, he had a nice time, which means now Hatfish watch dramas together lmao. Mu-yeol explained that after HPL there were five plans of attack for first-time drama watchers he explains to Hatter:

A. you like the lead actor a lot, so you watch something else he's in (Crazy Love, Marry Me, Mary, or for a small role when he was younger Coffee Prince)

B. you like the lead actress and want to see her in something else (Healer, What's Wrong With Secretary Kim, Forecasting Love and Weather, Marry My Husband)

C. you liked the second male lead (Eun-gi's actor) and want to see a drama where he gets the girl (See You in My 19th Life)

D. "we go to Netflix or Viki and watch the first thing that I've seen before and liked" (Crash Course In Romance, Jealousy Incarnate, Flower of Evil, When The Camellia Blooms, It's Okay That's Love, Oh My Ghost, Twenty-five Twenty-one, Reply 1988)

E. "we go to Netflix or Viki and watch something I haven't vetted yet for cringe level"

Crash Course In Romance

A cute romcom about middle aged people falling in love! Also there's a serial killer subplot lol happens a lot, you and Hatter will get used to those in K-dramas. The female lead is a single mom! Well, tech aunt but that's HER CHILD she raised her!

Jeon Do-yeon is a cutie, amazing as the female lead and Jung Kyung-ho as Choi Chi-yeol is so pathetic (affectionate, highest praise.)

Reply 1988

This is one of Mu-yeol's favorite dramas! Anything set in the late 80s-early 2000s is so nostalgic for him. This is a great period piece for 80's South Korea. It also delves lightly into the political turmoil at the time which he'll happily pause to explain to Hatter in more detail. It's his favorite in the Reply series, even though he really enjoys Reply 1994 and Reply 1997 too, which he eventually makes Hatter watch but not all back to back.

The song that open's Reply 1988, To You by Shin Hae Chul is like one of the most iconic Korean songs. Your cat knows this song if you live in Korea lmao. It's so beloved that EXO, a current K-pop group (well 3rd gen but still active) performed it a few years ago and this massive audience of people who were not around in the 80's when it came out were screaming and singing along, so ofc Hatter had to listen to the whole song too lmao. Just getting a full Korean pop culture history lesson.

Prison Playbook

UGH Prison Playbook is so GOOD. It stars the male lead from Crash Course In Romance alongside Park Hae-soo, one of the leads from Squid Game. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it's about friendship! It's about family! UGH!!!!

Twenty-Five Twenty-One

Another one that is SO GOOD. This one deals with the 1997 IMF Crisis that rocked Southeast and East Asia. Mu-yeol has detailed memories of this time period and explains what that time was like as he observed it while they watch this. It's a drama with a bittersweet but realistic ending, it will rip your heart out it will make you laugh, it's everything.

Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha

Another romcom! This time with a proper happy ending! But not without ripping your heart out too :):):) Gongjin is giving Swynlake lmao Mu-yeol thinks Hatter will really like it.

Jealousy Incarnate

Now, this is MY favorite drama. I've watched it 6 times straight through. It's so good and the description doesn't do it justice! I love Gong Hyo-jin but find a lot of her characters frustrating and just not good characters despite her being a great actress. But this drama gives her an interesting character!

And the soundtrack? AMAZING.

Youth Of May

Another drama that takes place in the 80s! This one is centered around the Gwangju Uprising which happened the year before Mu-yeol was born. This one is really good for Mu-yeol pausing to explain history lmao but oh my god this drama is UGH I loved it, he loved it.

When The Camellia Blooms

Another Gong Hyojin vehicle! She's a single mom! Good drama for explaining several aspects of Korean culture, stigmas, norms, etc around single parents, orphans, the concept of your fate affecting people around you.

Welcome to Samdal-ri

I'm watching this one right now. I like it a lot!

It's Okay, That's Love

One of the only sympathetic portrayals of schizophrenia I've seen in media ever. EVER. And the soundtrack of this drama? One of the best.

Also D.O. from EXO is in it!

Love To Hate You

A good palatte cleanser after some heavier dramas. Not the silliest of silly romcomc but a romcom nonetheless. Also Kim Jihoon and Yoo Teo are hot!!!

This scene lmao

Money Heist: Korea

Based on the Spanish show, also slaps. Mu-yeol finally gives Hatter a Manly TM show to watch after making him watch romcoms. A dudebro show, as a treat. Except it's actually really good!!! and it's got hot middle-aged men (Kim Ji-hoon, Park Hae-soo) for them to look at!

Hell Is Other People

It's homoerotic, it's got Lee Dong-wook, it's got serial killers, it's got homoerotic serial killers, what more do you want?

Touch Your Heart

A cute romcom! Yay!!!

But honestly, Mu-yeol thinks Lee Dong-wook's chemistry is...kinda wack with women. His on-screen chemistry playing opposite other men like in Goblin, Bad & Crazy, and Tale of the Nine-Tailed and Tale of the Nine-Tailed 1938 is SO good, but to him (and me) it tends to fall flat with women.

He's cute here with Yoo In-na though!!! But in Tail of The Nine-Tailed his best scenes are with Kim Bum lmao

Summer Strike

It's just so good!!!

[fernweh-writes]

Hey, can I maybe request the slasher with an S/O that is a native German speaker and that she has a hard time speaking English? Or just a s/o that isn’t a native English speaker?

Like she can understand English really good but when she has to speak she begins to stutter and maybe how she pronouns words is kinda wrong? And that she is really insecure about it and her accent and afraid that it’s not understandable what she says?

I already say thank you really much!!💕

I’m always more than happy to write wholesome slasher hc’s! Hopefully I titled this correctly, if not please correct me.

-Fern🌿

Slashers x Non Native English Speaker

Michael Meyers

This boy is not fazed by anything ever, reacts to nothing. It’s safe to say his poker face is absolutely unmatched. You won’t have to worry about weird looks or an annoyed response from Michael.

His patience is also unmatched. All that stalking takes time you know. So he’s more than okay with giving you time to say things correctly if you need it. In other words, it’s okay take your time.

Always makes sure to nod so that you know he heard what you said and understands you. Secretly enjoys hearing you to talk and thinks your accent is endearing. He makes sure to let you know he’s paying attention so that you’ll keep talking.

Of course, Michael isn’t very affectionate and is overall kinda awkward. He is good at reading you though and can pick up on the fact you’re insecure about he way you talk. Expect some awkward head patting whenever you get frustrated when trying to pronounce something correctly.

If you hate being corrected though then Michael is your perfect match. He doesn’t talk so he’s never going to say anything about it. Wouldn’t correct you even if he was talkative though.

Anyone at work giving you a hard time about your accent and stuttering at work? Oh, they turned up missing and were later found dead? That is truly unfortunate, who knows how that happened, that’s so weird.

Bo Sinclair

He’s an ass, it’s in his nature to tease you for your accent and stuttering. Bo would spontaneously combust if he wasn’t able to pick at you. It’s all lighthearted teasing though, so don’t take any of it to heart.

However, if someone else teases you about the way you talk well… they’ll be beyond Vincent’s repair to put it lightly. Refuses to have someone who makes fun of you immortalized in his town.

Bo also has that thick southern accent which means you can tease him right back. Oh you didn’t pronounce something correctly? Well at least you don’t say ya’ll’d’ve. (Means ya’ll would have for those who might not know)

Southerners just take every word and find a way to shorten them or shove them together so you have plenty to make fun of him for. Although he finds it funny when you try to mock his accent.

Bo would rather die than admit it but he does find your accent and stutter cute. He’s also entertained by the way you try to pronounce things from time to time and can’t help but to laugh at you with you.

Vincent Sinclair

He’s pretty indifferent about the whole thing. If you can respect the fact he can’t talk, then he can respect the way that you do talk.

Is always quick to reassure you that there’s no need to be insecure or embarrassed about your accent or mispronounced words. He doesn’t want you to think you’re inconveniencing him in any way because you’re not.

If he can deal with his brothers ridiculous accents then what makes you think that he can’t deal with your accent. You probably pronounce more accurately than Bo or Lester could ever dream of.

Bo is teasing you? Vincent dares him to say royal. Go on Bo, say it since your such a scholar, go on, do it. Bo will never make fun of you again.

Vincent is very patient and encourages you to take all the time that you need to say things right. He’s not going to rush you, it’s not like life is busy in the little town. Even if he’s busy with work he has plenty of time to listen.

Having someone just sit and talk to him while he works is refreshing. Please just sit and talk to him about everything and nothing, he adores it.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms has plenty of free time and plenty of lessons. Honestly, I would be surprised if he didn’t know a few phrases in at least one different language.

Would be more than happy to learn your native language if you’re willing to teach him. Brahms is smarter than you would think and is quick to pick up at least a few phrases. Immediately wants you to teach him how to say I love you in your language though.

Also just likes to hear you speak in your native language. He may not understand it, but he thinks it sounds pretty nonetheless.

“Be good to him and he will be good to you.” If you’ve been good to him he’ll be patient and kind to you. Doesn’t mind the way you might trip over words or mispronounce them. His patience will only wear thin when he’s upset with you but even then he’ll normally just shut himself back into the walls.

The Heelshire mansion is full of books and you’re expected to read to Brahms every day. Once Brahms reveals himself he uses the time you read to him as an opportunity to teach you how to pronounce words correctly. He makes sure to be polite when correcting you since you’ve been so sweet to him.

Thomas Hewitt

He enjoys just listening to you talk to him. It doesn’t matter what you talk to him about, he simply enjoys the company and loves that you’re able to fill the silence.

Won’t allow any of his other family members to even mention anything about the way you talk. He remembers how much he hated being made fun of for his appearance and refuses to let anyone ever make you feel that way, especially his own family.

Of course, Luda Mae is more than patient with you. You make her son happy so she’ll make sure that you feel comfortable and at home in the Hewitt household.

Thomas always seems to be able to understand you. Maybe it’s the fact he doesn’t talk that makes him able to understand others really well. You can always pick up on what he means just by gestures and expressions and he can do the same for your mispronounced words.

Makes sure to let you know that he finds the way you talk adorable. Honestly, he’s in awe of just about anything you do. Thomas loves you to much to ever view you in a negative light.

Billy Loomis

He has a habit of always correcting you when you mispronounce words which can get old pretty fast. Billy doesn’t mean for it to be rude but his attitude always makes the way he corrects you to seem like an insult.

Would probably act like he can’t understand you sometimes because he simply thinks that it’s funny. No one said that Billy was ever a nice person.

Although he’s allowed to make fun of you, anyone else who tries will quickly become his next victim. You’re his to make fun of anyone else who tries must have a death wish.

Does his best to be considerate if you tell him that you’re insecure about your accent and the way you trip over words sometimes. He’s not the best with emotions or making people feel better but he’ll make sure that you know it doesn’t bother him.

Feels bad if he ever makes you feel bad. Billy does have a tendency to go to far even though he’s better at reading the room than Stu could ever be.

Stu Macher

You thought Billy was bad about the teasing? Stu really doesn’t know when to stop joking around and be serious for once. For a serial killer you’d think he’d be better at reading people, but Stu does a terrible job of it. Takes the teasing way to far.

When he finally figures out he’’s hurt your feelings though he makes sure to be more considerate of what he says. Uses grand gestures as an apology and only uses actually saying I’m sorry as a last resort.

Even though he teases you, he really doesn’t mind your accent or stuttering. You’ll be lucky to even get a chance to talk considering that Stu loves to talk and does so all of the time. He does not shut up.

He’s big on making sure you don’t feel insecure when talking around him though. Even though he loves to hear himself talk it’s no fun if you’re to nervous to add to the conversation.

Goes around telling people he has a foreign babe.

Jesse Cromeans

Jesse isn’t fazed by your stuttering or heavy accent. In fact, it’s probably one of the things that draws him to you. To him, it makes you seem innocent and Jesse loves the idea of someone as corrupt as him having someone as sweet as you love him. Thinks he has you wrapped around his finger when really, it’s the other way around.

Preston would be the one to give you hell about it and Jesse will kick his ass before the smart ass comment can even leave his mouth. Spann would be the one constantly correcting you because she thinks that she’s so prim and proper. Jesse will make sure she keeps her mouth shut as well.

Sometimes he has to make sure that he understood what you said. You’re phone will ping with his best guess of what you just tried to say with a bunch of question marks around it. He’s doing his best okay.

Absolutely loves it when you talk to him so he makes sure that you don’t feel insecure when talking to him. You’re to cute to just sit there and say nothing, he wants to know what’s going through your cute little head.

Keeps an eye on you at work and in public. No one gets away with teasing you, especially not girls who could only wish that they were you. We all know that Jesse targets women.

Asa Emory

Honestly, he would see you as something exotic for his collection.

He’s an entomology professor, not an English professor, he could care less about your accent and mispronounced words. He also has a lot of patience but Asa still won’t hesitate to give you an annoyed look when he’s busy.

Unlike most of the other slashers he’s not going to tease you for the way you talk. Asa has more class than that. Instead, he’ll tease you about the way you begged for him to give you what you wanted.

Won’t tolerate anyone else joking around about your accent since he knows your insecure about the way you talk. He’s an intimidating person and he uses that to his advantage. Besides, if they keep trying they won’t be alive much longer anyways, Asa will make sure of that.

He still corrects you from time to time. If you’ve been having a rough time he won’t, he doesn’t want to make you feel worse. But if he thinks you’re able to handle the criticism he’ll correct your pronunciation. Believes that you have to learn the correct way to say things at some point right.

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

iida for character opinion bingo!

[ID: a bingo board labeled “character opinion bingo”. It has a dark blue background with white text, and contains 25 squares, which are labeled as follows:

1) “everyone but me is wrong about them <3” 2) “im obsessed with their character arc” 3) “they got done dirty by the fans” 4) “they got done dirty by the creator/s” 5) “wasted potential” 6) “ADOPTION PAPERS ADOPTION PAPERS FILING THE ADOPTION PAPERS” 7) “I am constantly going insane rotating them in my brain like a fork in a microwave” 8) “they work better as part of a dynamic” 9) “the popular ships for this character suck” 10) “overrated” 11) “constantly listening to songs and mentally holding them up like a paint swatch” 12) “I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH” 13) “FREE SPACE” 14) “whats wrong with them (affectionate)” 15) “whats wrong with them (derogatory)” 16) “not enough screen time” 17) “too much screen time” 18) “I would NEVER want to meet them” 19) “they’ve never done anything wrong in their life <3” 20) “my opinions would be received by most fans as akin to hitting a wasps nest with a baseball bat” 21) “this is the best character in the work.” 22) “I like them but I don’t really think about them much” 23) “I don’t really have much to say abt them” 24) “I actively dislike them” and 25) “BITING AND KILLING AND MAIMING THEM AND DEATH AND VIOLENCE”.

“I’m obsessed with their character arc”, “they got done dirty by the fans”, “they got done dirty by the creator/s”, “FREE SPACE”, “not enough screen time”, and “they’ve never done anything wrong I’m their life <3” are hi-lighted in yellow. End ID.]

IIDA MY BELOVED!!!!! I was also tempted to put “best character in the work” bc he’s definitely up there!! The fans like to boil him down to stereotypes and horikoshi wrote him out of the main trio (HOMOPHOBIC!!!! I MISS THE MIDO/IIDA/URARAKA MC TRIO! …todoroki can stay tho I like him. BUT THATS NOT RELEVANT! ANYWAYS!), but his character is so good, and though he’s confined to the background a lot of the time, his character development is very clear if you pay attention (& it’s great!!! You can SEE all the effort he puts into learning and growing, & how he pushes himself to be the best person and hero he can be!

It’s clear that he has preconceived notions about the way things are, but unlike many people Iida is always willing to listen to other people’s perspectives, and if they bring up a point he hadn’t considered/a way he was failing, he immediately apologizes and sets to reevaluating his worldview & correcting his behavior to match what he now knows!! It’s really honorable how willing he is to admit his own mistakes and work to overcome them. & yes I said he did nothing wrong fully aware of the stain murder attempt idc like obviously murder is wrong but 1) gotta respect his guts to go after a serial killer 2) he was coming from a place of grief and 3) after his unsuccessful murder attempt, he realized that he had been wrong and not acted in a heroic way, and not only changed the way he thought about heroics but also thought about stain’s motives from a more objective perspective, to the point where, after Kaminari called stain cool/apologized for thinking so, Iida admitted that he could see why Kaminari thought so. So while yes,his murder attempt was actually wrong, he has still done nothing wrong ever in his life <3

I also thought about putting “he works better as part of a dynamic”, since he is part of so many good dynamics (Uraraka & Iida & Midoriya & Todoroki & all 2 & 3 person groups within that group + him & tensei to name a few) but I also think he’s a neat guy on his own <3

Anyways this is long af but suffice it to say I LOVE Iida Tenya & he deserves more from both horikoshi & the fans (ESPECIALLY the fans 😑 some of the things ive seen people write about him…ohh boy. Hate.)!!

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success. 

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously. 

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling. 

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach. 

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future. 

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview. 

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

[pretoriafics]

Therapy sessions with the devil

I'd did this request yesterday on my Portuguese blog, and I thought that you guys would love it!

Anonymous asks: Y/N is a therapist who works for Vought and is doing a few evaluations on the Super.

Word count: 1.806 Contain: Therapist!Reader x Homelander Warnings: Mention of sexual violence, mention of serial killers, mention of cases of children with psychopathy, mental disorders. +16 only Versão em português aqui  PART 2 THE BOYS MASTERLIST

Your profession was gratifying.

You loved the idea of helping people, getting to know each other better, and getting them to learn to deal with life's challenges. For you, being a kind of "confidant", where people could talk about their lives without any judgments, was an honor and your purpose. You believed that it would make the world a better place.

However, it also had its burdens. Some things were difficult to hear, even for you with all your knowledge and professional background. Patients who suffered from sexual violence, for example, demanded of you a stomach that you were not always able to have. It was something you talked to your therapist about, and you kept a mantra in mind: After all, you were still human, and it was okay to feel that way.

And when Vought invited you to work as a therapist for The Seven, you went nuts. It was the chance of a lifetime!

Or, at least, this was what you thought at the beginning.

It was not uncommon for you to hear things that made your stomach a little sick, just like when The Deep told you about the way he “welcomed” Starlight. You felt nauseous but, on the outside, remained impassive, just watching him as a silent request to continue to talk.

All of them were, simply, not only media products but also puppets of the advertising world. You already had some political patients, and in fact, you thought The Seven was a similar case: Both went to that market with the intention, many times, to help people. However, they ended up corrupted in the middle of the road, forgetting their whole purpose in helping others.

You saw a point in common between The Seven: Everyone, with perhaps the exception of Starlight, was too worried about their own egos to be real heroes. They were all too narcissistic.

But Homelander was the worst of them.

The childhood phase was the most important part of a person's life. A traumatic childhood could lead to a troubled adult, as in the case of Mary Bell and Beth Thomas. Homelander's case was no different: his non-affectionate childhood, being raised as a laboratory rat, was the bigger reason to make him that kind of man.

Although at the same time you were fascinated about to study a mind like that - since one of the reasons why you did psychology would be to unveil the secrets of the human mind - each therapy session was daunting and made you rethink your job at Vought.

In short, you were interviewing a serial killer. Easily one of the most cruel and unhealthy.

"Good morning, Homelander." Your voice was soft, just like the smile you gave to the super who just sat on the couch.

"Good morning, Doctor." He returned the smile to you, but the smile on his own way: The corners of your mouth pulled to the side in a smile that you recognized as fake.

"So..." You put your hands on your knee, looking at him with the best receptive look you could pretend. There, in that office, your sessions with Homelander made you feel you deserved an Oscar "How was your week?"

“Well…” He lay down on the couch, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling, and his hands joined in front of his stomach “Nothing new. In fact, he had a little incident with Maeve. Sometimes she is so… pathetic. ”

"What happened?"

It took a while for Homelander to actually get some confidence in you. In fact, he only started telling you things in detail when he realized he could get something out of the sessions. They were productive to him, they made him think. You didn't know if you were thanking God for getting something out of him, or if you should cursing yourself because of the horrors he tells you.

"Maybe you saw something about the 37 Flight on the news."

"The one who had been captured by the terrorists?"

"Exactly! Maeve and I had to rescue the plane. We managed to take down the terrorists, but when I killed the last one, in the Pilot's cabin, I hit the plane's controls with the lasers. And then, the flight was doomed. I told Maeve that our job was done and we should leave, but she was reluctant. He wanted me to save the passengers! ” He laughed, but a natural one. "Can you believe that?"

Oh, it was going to be a long therapy session...

"And what happened next?"

“What did she want me to do? That I fly 137 times from the plane to land? Ah, pathetic, pathetic! ” He shook his head, clearly humorous. "Now, just imagine: You are on a flight with 137 people shouting 'Help, Homelander!', While your stupid partner insists that you should do something to save everyone. I was losing patience so I threatened everyone with my eyes, and they finally settled down. I don't blame them, I mean, they are so vulnerable. They are bugs! ” He looked at you, the corners of his mouth pulled in a fake smile. "No offense."

Homelander was a cold-blooded killer. Not only, but like Ted Bundy, he was a narcissist. He liked the feeling of power that invaded his body when he saw that people feared him, and when he felt that he had the power to decide whether that person would live or not. He didn't mind if killing people just for fun was against the law. Homelander didn't care about the law or any kind of rules. Furthermore, just as Bundy believed he was fully capable of defending himself in his court's judgment and did not need lawyers, Homelander thought he was an incarnate God walking among the 'bugs', simply because he had powers.

"And how do you feel about Maeve?"

“She bothered me a little with the drama on the plane, but that's okay. I am sure that after I spoke to the journalists, near the wreckage of the flight, she understood. This is all going to be an excellent opportunity to make our presence in the army happen. ”

A sociopath.

Empathetic behaviors aren't part of him. He was unable to have that feeling. Self-centered, Homelander was unable to love. The relationship he had with Stiwell, for example, was far from loving. He didn't feel it, quite the opposite: Homelander had a feeling of possession with her. She was his, and nobody else's.

A doubt hammered in your head: Homelander was intending to drop the plane? Your stomach was upset, you felt bad about that therapy session. How could Vought leave someone like him in The Seven?

The answer was simple: They didn't care. Homelander was profitable, and that was all that mattered.

That was one of the times when you thanked God that Homelander was self-centered enough to lie on the couch and just think about your own life, instead of analyzing you and realizing that you were completely terrified. It was as if a misstep, a wrong word, was going to cost his life.

And you would end that today.

You conducted the therapy session normally. In the end, you shook hands with Homelander as you always did and closed the door. Tears invaded your face as you thought of each life that was lost in vain on that flight, and, worse, you were sure that Maeve would tell you about the flight at her therapy session, early next week. In an attempt to calm down, you took some coffee and sat down in front of your MacBook. There, sipping coffee, you wrote your resignation letter.

Alright. You were free.

Or at least this was what you thought.

 * * *

Another week has started, and the fact that you worked at Vought made you get a more comfortable office, in addition to increasing your service price. You were ending your day. Your last patient had left the office, and you were about to go home when you heard a familiar voice from your couch.

"I miss you in the tower."

Homelander looked at you with his pairs of sick blue eyes, his fake smile, and his murderous hands behind his body. He was standing next to the couch, and you felt your whole body freeze. A lump formed in your throat, and your hands vibrated in pure dread.

So he would kill you there? In your office?

Trying to take control of the situation, you faked a slight smile.

“Sorry, Homelander. I didn't saw you here. Need something?"

"Actually, I do." He started walking towards you slowly. "I didn't want to end our sessions, so I came to ask you what our new schedule is going to be."

You narrowed your eyes.

"I thought Vought was going to hire someone else to work with The Seven in my place."

“In fact, they put an incompetent in your place. I really prefer that we continue where we left off. ” He stopped in front of you with his smile, his eyes emanating pure insanity "I like our therapy sessions."

“I'm glad that you like my job and that you appreciate our results, Homelander” You gave him a smile, but inside you were still in pure dread “But I don't have appointments available. My schedule filled up easily after I came to this new office. ”

“Oh, but I'm sure you can fit me in your schedule. I can pay you well. ”

How to say no to Homelander without putting your life at risk?

You walked over to your tablet, on your desk. You took it in hand and slid your finger on the screen, analyzing awhile. You didn't need him to tell you that you would be paid well. In fact, you were fully aware of that. The point was that you could exchange all the money in the world to be at peace, without having to deal with Homelander. Without much choice, you concluded that you would reserve a single day for your therapy sessions with him. That way, your head wouldn't get so tired when you still had to deal with other patients.

“Are you available on Friday morning? At nine."

He nodded, giving the same smile he did when he achieved something. One of pure contentment.

"Of course!"

"Great so." You typed 'Homelander' in the space corresponding to the hour. You put the tablet down on the table, next to your MacBook “There, it's done. Friday, at nine in the morning. ”

“Ah, perfect! Thank you. Have a good night."

"Good night, Homelander."

He walked over to your balcony. With a jump, he flew through the sky. You lay on your couch, terrified. Would you never get rid of him?

All that was left for you now was to be the therapist of the incarnate Devil.

[noforkingclue]

Flirting? (Malcolm Bright x reader)

Prodigal Son contains everything I love:

Interesting plot

Good characters

Michael Sheen playing a serial killer

Three piece suits

So yeah, I’ve started writing for this as well. Enjoy!

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary

“Why am I here?” you asked as you leant back in your chair, “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“This time.”

“I haven’t done anything wrong ever.”

“We have eye witnesses who would testify differently.”

“What do you want Gil?” you asked with an eye roll, “I’m going back home soon and I have to pack.”

Gil mirrored your position and folded his arms. You gave him an unimpressed look and raised an eyebrow.

“Am I arrested?”

“We just needed some information.”

“I don’t know him.”

“Him, we didn’t even tell you who we’re looking for. Which means you have your suspicions or even know who we want. Someone’s been in contact with you asking for your help.”

You groaned.

“Why is he here?” you asked

Malcolm gave you a smile and if you weren’t handcuffed you would’ve flipped him off. You already had several run-ins with the consultant and you can’t say that the two of you hit it off.

“He’s our consultant,” sighed Gil, “Look y/n-“

“Let me guess, it was his idea bringing me in.”

“Y/n-“

“I don’t know where he is.”

“So you do know who we’re talking about,” Malcolm took the seat next to Gil, “We already know he tried to contact you.”

“So why bring me in. A phone call would’ve been perfectly acceptable.”

“We don’t have your number.” Said Malcolm

“I’m sure you could figure it out. Your intellect has always been one of you more modest traits.”

Malcolm rested his elbows on the table and Gil pinched the bridge of his nose. It always ended up like this with you two, bickering that just toed the line of flirting. It was tiring watching the two of you dance around each other.

“So you acknowledge my theory is correct.”

“I don’t want to damage your fragile masculine ego.”

“Y/n,” warned Gil, “Back on topic.”

“Alright,” you sighed, “Looking for Oliver Jackson right?”

“Where is he.”

“Honestly,” you shrugged, “No idea. He came to me, ooh, maybe the night before last asking for cash to get out of the city.”

“And you gave it to him.” Gil said

You snorted and Malcolm gave you an amused smile.

“No,” you said, “I worked hard for that money and-“

“Money which you did steal.” Malcolm said

“Rude. If people are foolish enough to-“ you stopped before you incriminated yourself, “But back to the matter in hand, I told him where to go and slammed the door in his face. No idea how he found out where I lived.”

“And you have no idea where he is.” Asked Gil

Your eyes flicked to the one way mirror before looking back at Gil and Malcolm.

“No.”

“You’re lying.”

You gave Malcolm a cold look.

“Because you’re the expert.”

“I am a profiler.”

“I don’t know where he is, but,” you said as Malcolm opened his mouth, “I might have an idea.”

“Well?” asked Gil

“Let’s just say,” you gave the two of them a small smile, “That he and his sister were very keen on Game of Thrones in more way than one if you catch my drift.”

There was a brief pause before Gil shot up and marched out of the room. Malcolm stayed behind and rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

“How long had you known?”

“Since I split up with him,” you said, “Really I should’ve spotted it sooner. His sister hated me a little too much and he was always overly affectionate with her. A bit too affectionate just for siblings. Why do you think I broke things off?”

You smirked at the way Malcolm’s jaw clenched when you mentioned your past relationship.

“What’s the matter Bright,” you asked leaning closer, “Don’t like me talking about my criminal ex or is it talk about any ex that gets you bothered?”

“You should’ve been a profiler.”

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult.”

Then Malcolm gave you that damned smile. That charming one that despite the bags under his eyes and the pain you could see in them, almost made you want to be a better person. The one that made your legs weak and your stomach tie up in painful knots. When he stood up you looked at you handcuffs expectantly.

“Going to un-cuff me Bright?”

“Gil’s going to have a few more questions if we can’t find his sister,” he said as he left the interview room, “We won’t be long.”

“Bright!” you yelled, “Come back here you bastard!”

 *

 JT and Dani looked at each other behind the one way mirror.

“Was he flirting with her?” asked JT

“No,” said Dani with a frown, “At least I don’t think he was.”

“Hard to tell with him,” said JT as he watched Malcolm leave the room, “Hard to tell with her as well.”

“Something to keep an eye on,” said Dani as she left the room, “Ten bucks say it’ll be six months before they realise.”

“Twenty but make it a year.”