#he hasnt been doing well the past few days. but hes not showing signs of dropsy which is making things harder
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#splatter speaks#animal death /#personal /#lol i ended up deleting the other post#anyways uh. im ok for now i guess. cant think too much bc ill just get upset again and my head already fucking hurts#i already wrote him a lil note in case he does pass while im gone. idk.#he hasnt been doing well the past few days. but hes not showing signs of dropsy which is making things harder#idk its hard to think rn im physically exhausted#i think we have like 25 patients or smth tomorrow so hopefully im kept busy enough to not think too much#ill be ok i think. i know it doesnt sound like it from this but. You Know.#my brain feels like jello now
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you are so right, i should send this idea to limbus situations once they open asks again. But, my personal thoughts/headcanons on what they add and their drinking habits: (Post Kay, this got really long and likely doesnt make too much since lmao)
Yisang: Water, he doesnt handle alcohol well, flavor is too hard on him. He does drink those fun soju yogurt cocktails though post canto 4. Faust: pedialyte, gatorade, or other nice general tasting electrolyte drink to keep the sinners hydrated while being a flavor that wont clash much with her prediction of what the other sinners will choose. She usually doesnt drink enough to be heavily intoxicated in most situations (most). but she does enjoy nice white wines. (sometimes is seen spiking her coffee or juice around railway season) Don: Whatever fun fruity liqueur she wants :), recently shes been into Midori and Blue Curacao, she love the bright colors and how cool it looks in almost any drink. Surprisingly handles drink really well for her size, has a lot of fun drinking with Rodion and usually keeps up. It is a little hard to tell if she is drunk or just being her usually silly self, she does get a lil louder though. Ryoshu: Something red, not a big drinker but she can handle drinks pretty well up to a point, doesnt really care what goes in but likes the red coloring. Is usually seen nursing the same few cocktails throughout the day. She mostly gets the pretty drinks and looks at them instead of caring much about the taste. She does occasionally enjoy a high quality whiskey at bars. On the rocks if they have cool ice or ice cutting shows. (she tries to do it herself and has been kicked out for this before) Mearsult: Extremely high quality and expensive vodka that no one knows where he got it from. Drinks mostly just socially but usually gets really heavy drinks. Shows no signs of being drunk until he passes the fuck out sitting up eventually. (Once he gets started he usually doesnt stop for a while) Hong Lu: Similar boat as Don, loves the fun tasting stuff but is usually a lot more refined. Goes for the really fancy sojus or things like Kwai Feh Lychee. He usually gets shots of these and askes for the lil umbrellas in all of them :) sometimes shares really nice sake with ryoshu. hasnt been seen drunk ever. Heathcliff: Pre Canto 6 he'd add more or Meursult's vodka bc "he already bought it and i am not paying". Used to drinking what is hardest and / or cheapest but now it is on the company tab he goes for more expensive versions of those (usually beer, rum, vodka). Post Canto 6, his more refined palette shows itself and usually goes for still strong liqueurs, but ones with strong floral notes. (elderflower, rose, orange blossom) He doesnt especially know the difference but he knows it reminds him of Cathy :( Ishmael: Makes jokes and seems tired of the stereotype as a sailor but she does enjoy rum and adds a nice one Rodion gave her as a gift. Usually a pretty causal drinker, goes for whatever is popular or asks Rodion for guidance, usually ends up following any other sinner and drinking what they are drinking with them and has a good time. hates drinking alone and usually gets lost and doesnt know what to drink alone. Rodion. : Adds nice good tequila (a lot.) and freshly squeezed (barehand) (she has a really strong grip) lime juice. She is also the one that suggested the bus do this trend. Handles her drinks very well, ofc ofc. Big fan of doing shots of tequilia and whiskey neat, long past needing any chasers though. Jokingly challenges other sinners to take them with her. This has lead to a fair bit of them throwing up. Other than that though she is usually the one keeping the vibes up and drinks flowing merrily. Crys a lot when drunk, usually in a fun not serious way that is silly, most of the time.
Sinclair: Adds fruit juice. Not a big drinker, hates the taste of alcohol but he usually chokes it down to appear somewhat tough. He used to enjoy the same as Yi Sang until he threw up really badly after drinking too many (to be fair that taste like juice n yogurt!). Usually is seen making sure people have water while sipping a mocktail. Outis: Jagermeister, mostly just sticks to classics she knows. Is usually seen drinking a glass neat or drinking whiskey with Ryoshu. Always has exactly 2 glasses, plenty of water, and a small tray of snacks. Never lets herself get too drunk. Gregor: Doesnt know much about alcohol or mixing drinks, he just adds some whiskey he had and think tastes nice. Not the biggest fans of hard liqueur but he will join Rodion for a drink when asked. Doesnt handle his drinks too well and gets drunk easily and usually gets silly much to the amusement of Rodion and Don. It never gets too bad though. Has a nice cold beer usually when he doesnt drink too heavily. Used to be an alcoholic and drank a lot of cheap beer but he has since realized that was bad and moved on. He has fun and drinks casually now.
This is cinema actually
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Some more general impressions of Vietnam:
I wrote it all down with many jokes and sadly tumblr deleted ot for some reason. So here we go again. Less funny this time.
1: bathroom stories:
The shower/toilet situation: All of the accomodations we have been to so far have the toilet right next to the showerhead. So whenever you take a shower, everythibgelse gets wet. The toilet, the toiletpaper and the entire floor. It happens quite often that you forget you just showered and then enter the bathroom with socks.. and well they are wet then.
The heater: I guess its quite common in some asian countries that you have to turn on the heater first and wait for 10 minutes before you can take a warm/hot shower. Otherwise it will be a very cold surprise.
Throwing the toiletpaper in the trash. So as the toilets easily get clocked, there are signs at mosgly any toilet to not throw the toiletpaper in the toilet. So we have to throw it in the trash. And just imagine you have to well... 💩... and then throwing the TP in the trash. Lets just hope they change the trash regularily.
2: Accomodation
Its really cheap to get a room in Vietnam. We usually pay around 8€ p.p. a night. In the big cities its 13€ p.p a night. So we so far havent booked a hostel yet. But I guess they must be even cheaper. Also there are so mamy oprtions to pick from that you can easily just bpok a room for the day after tomorrow. This makes travelling so much more spontaneous.
The beds.. usually a matress should be a little softer to get some good sleep. Her ein Vietnam, they sleep on the floor with either a handmade mat or a thin matress. For tourists they have bedframes and matresses. And most of them are extremely hard. The first accomodstion we have been to was so soft and nice to sleep on. Sadly the more we got north the more uncomfy the beds.. so always read the reviews of a hotel and check if people mentioned the bed situation.
This is a picture of our room in Hanoi. For some reason we didnt take any picture sof the previous ones:
3. The money:
So roughly 25.000 dong = 1 € . They dont have coins. The smallest bill they have is 1000 dong. We barely ever got to see that one. Usually we have 10.000, 20.000 and 50.000 dong bills. Whenever we go to the ATM we are millionaires. Usually we take 2 Million each. So getting familiar with the money takes a while. The billd look pretty cute though. One side always shows the face of Ho Chi Minh (he is everywhere.. as a statue, in temples, in peoples private rooms) and the other side shows vietnames sightseeing spots.
Also if you go to Vietnam, dont get scamed by getting the wrong bills back when getting change. They look quite similar and a x-00.000 can easily be wxchanged for a x-0.000 bill. Thankfully this hasnt happened to us yet :)
4: Sidewalks dont exist. I mentioned this before but its just so different to Germany. Sidewalks are not really pedestrianfriendly. They are mostly blocked by either cars, mostly motorbikes or street vendors. So pedestrians mostly walk on the street or try to get past some street vendors somehow. Its just sad to see how especially motorbikes are using the space as their parking spots. In Hue for examole wa walked along a river and at some point there was a constructionsite. So we had to walk on the street instead which turned out to be the biggest street in that area. Just imagine 2 girls between hundreds of motobikers and cars just randlomy waiting in line for the trafficlights to turn green. This went on for only a few hundred meters but it is still not easy to get used to the fact that pedestriand basically are the lowest part of the mobilitychain (is that a word? no idea..).
5: take off your shoes! Many places in Vietnam can only be entered when taking off the shoes. Not only in temples but also in some restaurabts and homestays this is quite common. And while we also do that at home, it sometimes just looks funny to see many different shoes at an entrance of a cafe or temple. It happened to me a few times that pepole can smell/find my shoes from quite far away.. this is because I brought "Toms" shoes that require some special socks which I did not bring for the trip. In Germany I can also wear them barefoot but here it is so hot that they staft smelling quite fast. So sorry for everyone who had to smell that so far. Once it happened at the tailorshop we went to and I felt super embarrassed.
6: coffee time.. I already mentioned the coconut coffee. But Vietnam also has a specialty that is called weasel coffee beans. I wont tell you guys much about it but lets just say it has something to do with poop. Here are some links you can rwad more about how thks type of coffe is made and what it stands for. Apöafently a KG of weasel coffee is supee expensive to get. So maybe worth a try? You can rwad more about it here:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_luwak
The other link I couldnt find anymore but I am sure you can find plenty of material if you want to.
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Kiribaku Fic Idea
This one I call, the....mmm...let me think on the title
So basically Bakugou and Kirishima is this duo who've traveled the world, partners looking for the mysteries of the world.
One day they find themselves in a jungle, where of course they meet their new temporary crew, the Bakusquad (who are yet the bakusqaud) who consist of Mina, Jirou, Sero and Kami, and of course the honorary member Shinsou.
These peeps have been in the jungle amazon like forest for years, know the surrounding area pretty well, especially their camp, which is like one main cabin filled with their research and a few other cabins scattered about, smaller, where the crew sleeps and have their own personal research.
The crew are there to solely observe the environment, and research on the animals that live there.
They get a little annoyed with know it all Bakugou of course. Like yeah sure Bakugou knows all the dos and donuts of jungle life and sure he does things better than them, and well...okay sure hes amazing overall, and has yet donie one mistake since his arrival, but still its their terf!!!
They get along enough tho.
But they get along even more with Kirishima. Who seems to be a great guy and Mina is like wow..wish me a man like that.
I like to be like mysterious so like throughout the fic, sprinkle in like past memories of how Kiribaku met, and how they hated one another at first, but then Kiri was the bigger man and tried to be friendly.
And his friendliness worked because Baku was like wow this is literally my first real friend in like years.
They grow accustomed to one another, but before that. How they met was basically that Kiribaku were put in an expedition. Baku for his smarts and Kiri for his kkindness, since where they're going is basically the...the countrys research camp that have been already been there for years. And Baku was known not to get along.
Anyways they eventually become friends and spending a year in that research camp, Baku asks if Kiri wants to like partner up more, and so they a duo and their funder is like happy because it's the most work they've seen put together.
(I actually have no idea how researching works)
Well anyways, they get close...and closer...and closer. Then one day they're in like....some other country, and Kiri starts to feel sick. He sluggish, grey even, and Baku starts to worry.
Eventually Baku cuts the expedition short. And they go to the nearest hospital.
Kirishima is terminally ill
Baku is pissed at the world.
And so why they're with the bakusquad? Well because theres a rumor that in....Mexico....theres a plant that shines like the full moon on a dark night that can cure anything.
When the crew asks Baku why hes looking for it. Baku just says it's because he wants to make money out of it. Too scared to admit it's for Kiri, and Kiri let's him lie, but for Baku, saying it out loud makes all the more real.
At first Baku tried to get Kiri to stay, thinking that if he were to put his body in stress it would quicken the disease, but Kiri doesnt want his moments to be stuck in a boring room.
The crew admit theyve been looking for the plant for years now too. Although not to sell it but to procreate it artificially so that the world can have it for free. But theres a whole bunch of complications to that, and Baku even tells them that theres no way the world will allow something so precious be let go for free to the whole world.
Not only that but it's in ancient text that the rumor is spread from that it can cure. But for all they know it's a sham, it's a plant that cured one thing and only one thing. Theres not enough research to back it. But Baku is reaching for anything at this point.
They go on trips and never find anything and soon Bakus anger starts to get directed to Kiri. Like why did he get himself sick, why didnt he just stay? Why did he worm himself into Bakus heart?
Soon everyone becomes close. And at a moment of vulnerability, eating grilled meat late at night where everyone is talking about the lifes they left to be there, Baku confesses the reason Kiri and Baku are there for.
So like of course not just one person gonna be looking for this plant. And they always like backtracked because of this villain group.
And so like drama I guess
But in the end, Kiri is really at his death bed, though he still walking one last trip to find the flower, for Bakus sake. Even though Kiri, who hasnt lost hope, has accepted his fate as it is.
Kiri eventually falls, his entirely body ready to shut down at him all at once (of course diseases shut down one organ at a time, and rarely all at once but this fiction so leave me alone)
Baku panics but he feels hopeful for this last location, and he leaves Kiri dying withhhhhhhh....I dont know pick a squad member.
Theres like fights with the rival group, but that's because they found the flower. Baku...for the first time in his life begs for just one, just one stupid plant.
But they greedy and say no, and Baku cant do anything because they have guns, and hes one vs....5 I dunno.
And so they leave and Baku wonders off.
Hes sad.
Doesnt know what to do.
And then he finds a flower! One hidden behind a stone, growing crooked and ugly but hes sure its it.
He snatches and runs, they have no time to study it, breed it or anything. He needs Ei to swallow it down.
He comes back, and I decided that it was Mina who stayed with him, trying to nurse him. Ei looks dead but he winces from the pain. Kats shoves the flower down the guys mouth, but like in a nice way.
Of course they cant tell if anything is happening because its not like a minute fix.
But he carries him back with Mina in tow. They come back to the camp, lay him on the bed and Baku waits.
Kami Shin Jirou and Sero come back at like 4am Covered in ash. They confess. They commited arson, well...Kami committed arson. But no harm done! Just that the rivals camp is completely destoryed, government agents came by too, apparently there was a spy in the rival gang and they had it all planned to surround them.
But it's the government they shitty, so of course they make the gang do all the work and find theflowers first..and then they dispose of them....jail time I mean..prison.
But anyways theyve been following this group for a while now theyve been doing illegal stuff. So of course they find the flower. Because bad guys always win. But Kami didnt know the gov was gonna show up. So he blew it up, the cabin, where the flowers were stationed.
The govt tried to see if there was anymore...but there isnt. They all got pulled.
Kiri wakes up the third day, feeling sick but better. It's a good sign. But not enough for Baku.
Eventually Kiri does get cured though. And happily ever after
#bakushima#kiribaku#bakugou x kirishima#kiribaku fic idea#kiribaku fic#kiribaku au#sorry again i dont know to to put keep rrading on mobile#long post#did I just watch that trailer of that one jungle movie?#yes#but mind ya businesz
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Day 1
This is an attempt to write every day. Not an attmpt to write well, or an attempt to properly spell. This is only here to enhance the brain wave activities. nO need to fix minor discrepancies. I’m a bargain bin Will Hunting. If will hunting was from the beach and knew how to write instead of solve math problems.
I don’t know if tumblr is even a thing anymore. I am just going to assume that it has been hijacked by russian troll bots like every other social media site has been. In that case, i guess it is R.I.P. to this attempt at writing everyday. . .
I am doing this with the sole intention of remembering how to write when i was writing without giving a fuck about who was about to read it. this is me writing for me. the same way i did in high school, probably with grammar and spelling to match. Also, I need to work some shit out.
I was gifted an assignment that requires me to speak freely. I am not sure i have exercised that muscle properly. ever. It is a speaking assignment that I inadvertently signed up to do for a radio show. I responded to a question posted on an instagram story. tHe question was: what are you most excited tgo do now that you have been vaccinated. I thought they were just going to repost my response, which was: Go to a dive bar in sandals. Obviously. And a couple of e-mails later I am responsible for recording my trip to a dive bar and my feelings leading up to and after my adventure. in this post covid world old expiriences are seen through a differnt set of eyes. I get to be those eyes, for this particular moment. Which is pretty cool, i guess. BUt I need to organize my thoughts. I need to get my gameplan set. My script. THat way I wont be rambaling in incoherent mumbles on National Public Radio.
SO it is going to go like this:
Hi, I’m Matt O’Reilly and welcome to Jackass.I’m 35 years old and i’m from Hermosa Beach. I live with my wife Lucy, our baby daughter Elliott, and My father Paul. My daughter was born in september of 2019 right around the begining of flu season. MY wife and I were already living in bubble mode because ellie is our first child and we must protect her at all costs. but around febuary 2020 we begab to relax. we started taking ellie out more often. then in march the cdc gently requested that we cease this carelessness at once. we have been indoors ever since with the intention of protecting not only ourselves, but my dad aka grandpa who is a young 68. Though if you told him that he wouldn’t belive you. I rememeber sometime before the lockdown closed the bars he said something to the effect of “this stuff only applies to old people, not us.” and he was dead ass serious. like, don’t group me in with the blue hairs and their walkers. I’m not that.
anyway.
i’m going to one of my favorite places, Najas. a historic dive bar in king harbor of redondo beach. IT has one of the best beer menus in los angeles and sentimental meaning to me that i have yet to decide if i need to reveal as this is a covid centric story and not so much about me and my personal life.
cut to me riding my bike on the strand towards Najas from home.
so i’m here at the bar. I’ve ordered (insert tasty beer here) and,as promised, I am in my sandals. I am just excited to be here, in gthe middle of the day, enjoying the outside. alone. things have been a bit stressful for me over the past year. not only because of covid, but also because I found out that my father who I live with, is not my biological father. he found out too, when i told him. he’s cool with it though, no drama from him. i have always been darker than the rest of my family I kind of always just assumed i was adopted, but my parents didnt want to tell me for whatever reason. but after a few ancestry tests it was confirmed that my sister and i are half siblings. Like i said My father did not know about this, however, moy mother did. and she wasnt very forthcoming about the details of it. LOng story short, I have two other half sisters, and whole other family, and my biological dad, Chris, died 2 years ago. And my mom knew the whole time. needless to say, we are not on speaking terms at the moment. but when I was trying to sort everything out, one thing she said stuck with me, and that was that she met my biological dad here, at Najas, when he was playing guitar. so now I’m here trying to make memories with a ghost. Father son bonding using the time machine of a dive bar that hasnt changed since it was built in 1962(?)
and thats what I’ve got so far.
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Hello!! UwU Could you do a smol scenario with Tabe, Overhaul, and/or Geten with their crush or S/o on a fancy little date? Also some very slight angst with mega fluff? I'm just feeling angsty fluffy rn and Im not really sure why. ( ╹▽╹ )
Hmmm, I'm not sure if I've ever been good at angst but I'll try to work it into there somehow!
~Fancy Date with Tabe/Kai/Geten~
headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up
~Tabe~
-Sorimitsu wanted to do something special for you tonight so he told you (in his own special way) to get ready for a date. However, you didn't want to really leave the apartment today. You see, today you've been stressed! Your phone wasnt plugged in correctly last night, so it didnt charge. That means your alarm didnt go off. You were in a rush this morning, skipped breakfast, and arrived to work (or school) way too late. There you dealt with bullcrap all day. When you came home finally after car trouble (or a missed train/bus), you just wanted to sink into the mattress and disappear.
-But here you were...You groaned in slight annoyance when the peppy waiter came to your table. You felt a bit bad because the waiter didnt do anything wrong, you just weren't in the mood to be social. Everything didnt really spiral out of control until Tabe mentioned going to a movie now that you've finished dinner. Then you finally snapped.
-"Oh my God, Tabe I dont want to do that! I mean, you didn't even notice how long my day was today? Did you even stop to think about what I WANTED TO DO?! I just...I just wanna go home and go to sleep!" You finished with a groan.
-"...okay...okay." Tabe answered before he silently stood from the table and went with you to the car. Immediately the guilt shut in on you. When you made it to the house you finally fell asleep but not without guilt heavy on your chest.
-The very next morning you woke up and went straight to Tabe. You noticed he hasnt eaten breakfast yet so you can tell he's still a bit upset from last night. After you put on some breakfast, you go to him and sit on his lap. "I'm sorry about last night Sorimitsu. I was just stressed but that still doesn't give me the right to hurt you. I'm really sor-" Tabe stopped your words by squeezing you tight. You knew at that moment it meant that you were forgiven...and you were loved.
~Overhaul~
-When he said he wanted you to get along with the other Precepts, this is not what he meant. You were spending all your time...all his time with them lately! Late night snack runs with Tabe and Setsuno, Card games with Hojo and Mimic, Reading sessions with Tengai and Nemouto, Video games with Hari, Gym trips with Rappa and Katsukame, taking care of Deidoro's hangover...Hell, you were even having tea with the old man!!! Kai was going insane!
-So he decided to take you on a fancy date to distract you from the others, and to focus your time on him. Everything was going fairly well until your phone buzzed in the middle of dinner and your face lit up with a smile when you checked it. "Hehe, Setsuno got his foot stuck in the trash can again." You giggled and began to text back until Kai snatched your phone from your hand and Overhauled it!
"Chisaki, what the fuck!?" You glared at him in shock. He shut his eyes for a second but when he opened them back, you could see the anger in them. "What the fuck??? I should be asking you the same thing! You've been up everyone's ass lately but you haven't thought to spend a single second with me? Your ACTUAL boyfriend?!"
-Your face contorted from anger and shock to confusion, and finally laughter. "Is my devil jealous of his friends???" You teased him. He scoffed and looked down at his plate. His red cheeks were obvious as the blush crept up from his mask. "Okay..." You stood up and moved your chair to sit next to him. "Please move, you're too close." He groaned and tried to push you away. "Oh no sir, Mr. Chisaki! I have a dinner date with my handsome devil so of course I have to use it wisely. I wanna give you the love that I've been neglecting, and squeeeeeeze myself against you." You pulled him into a tight hug. He sighed in annoyance, but you could tell the obvious signs of a smile under his mask.
~Geten~
-He has been driving you nuts leaving the house to train his powers and go on missions. In fact, you've barely seen him in the past few weeks! He comes and goes at all hours of the day/night and he never stays long enough unless he's having you silently patch up his wounds or getting some rest.
-After confronting him about the issue (or pestering him) he decided to plan a date for you at some upscale restaurant down the road. Guess what happened on that night? Geten never showed...
-You tried to call him on the way back to the apartment because you were worried sick about him! However, your worry turned to anger when you stepped through the door and saw him asleep on the couch. You pushed him off and he quickly jolted awake. "Shit! You scared me y/n! What's your issue now?" He rubbed his head after getting up from the ground.
-"GETEN, IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT'S WRONG THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD SLEEP OUT HERE UNTIL YOU FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT." You stomped past him and went into the bedroom. "Night." You slammed the door and locked it, letting him know he was destined to sleep on the couch tonight.
-Geten tossed, turned, and groaned all night. He couldn't sleep without you and you knew that. He messed up bad this time...but he knew how to fix it.
-the next morning you got up and went into the dining area to see candles lit up next to a poorly cooked meal on the table. Geten was even dressed in a suit (which was an extremely rare sight) with his long hair up into a loose bun. "Join me for dinner or whatever..." He grumbled and held his hand out on the hopes you'd take it. You giggled at his pink cheeks and grabbed his hand, pulling him into a tight hug.
-"I guess I might join you since you're not late this time." You said before kissing his cheek.
»—————————–———————————————————–✄
TIp Jar: https://cash.app/$YuTakeyama
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New Beginnings Are Good For Everyone Ch.3
Getting everything packed up and ready to move was alot to do is so little time. She had already talked her boss at the FBI and they hated to lose her but they just wanted her to do whatever she had to do to be happy but she had to go into the office to sign some paperwork and to get the rest of her things. It was kind of a bitter sweet kind of thing, she was happy because is finally getting to do what she has always wanted to do but then again its the job that she has had for the past 5 years and they were her family in a way but the one that she was going to miss the most is the one that got her to the place that she wanted to be and that was Erin, she was her best friend the person she had been closest to in a long time and she was going to miss that.
Walking into the office it felt weird because she wasnt in uniform and she knew that it would be her last time ever stepping foot into the FBI, she heads to her bosses office so that she could get the easy part out the way signing her name to few papers that was no problem, but saying goodbye to the people that she has worked with for the past 5 years that was going to be the hardest part of this whole day. So after shaking hands with her boss for the last time and them telling her that she will be missed, she walked to her desk with the small box to get everything she had. Out of the corner of her she sees everyone watching her with sad looks on their faces but Erin was the only one that walked up to her and let her know just how much she was going to miss her. She was happy for her but that didnt make the fact that she was going to miss her hurt any less. They had a small conversation and shared a tight hug.
Im gonna miss you says Kim
Back atcha but this isnt goodbye this is a see you later. Erin tells her
Oh for sure, i may be leaving but you cant get rid of me that easy. They shared a laugh
I would never want to get rid of you. Now you go and show them just how much of a badass you really are.
With one finally tight hug Kim knew she had to go. She had a small tear in her eye but she knew that her and Erin were going to talk alot and they would still be great friends
The moving truck would be there first thing in the morning and her flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. She would stay in a hotel the first night but that following morning she had to meet someone about an apartment. Then the first step as to making Chicago home would be done. Crawling into bed for what would be her final night in Washington that was the first night in a long time that she went to sleep in her own bed with a real smile on her face. The next week was going to be a long and busy week but it was a week that she couldnt wait for
*Jay*
That night when Kim left the whole team went to Molly's and of the guys kept asking me how i knew her and if she was the girl from the night before. I just ignored them and let them continue to ask, they honestly sounded like teenage girls wanting to find out about their best friends crush or something. The only one that I actually trusted to talk to about it was Kelly he wasnt one around to know who i was talking about and he was just being a supportive friend and its what i needed right now. Yes I was a grown man talking about a girl i liked to one of my friends.....ok maybe i was the one that sounded like a teenage girl. When I got home that night as I was laying in bed I was kinda kicking myself for not trading numbers with her but I know that Ill have it once she joins the team. I mean she did say that she wanted us to get to know each other better, so that is a good sign. I can honestly say that I was looking forward to Monday more than I have in a long time.
Waking up realizing that it was Friday hoping that maybe they would just get a small case and that he would be able to enjoy his weekend off and just spend time with his brother and friends, something that he hadnt got to do in quite some time but he wasnt getting his hopes up to much. Walking out of the apartment heading out for what he hopes is going to be a good day. He really didnt think he would have the patience to deal with any dumbasses today. He was looking down at his phone as he was about to walk out the door when he bumped into a smaller figure and about knocked them over he looked up to apoligize when his eyes locked with hers and the only thing that he could do is apoligize.
Im sorry I wasnt paying attention I was looking at a text Voight sent me.
Its fine I was lost in conversation with a friend from Washington and wasnt watching where I was going either. Kim says... Erin let me call you back after I meet with the guy about my apartment & she hangs up the phone.
I would love to stay and chat but we have a case and I have to get to the scene. Jay informs her
I completely understand, but maybe if you have any free time today here is my number feel free to text me at anytime. She smiles as the manager of the apartments come out to meet her.
*Kim*
Job..Check Apartment..Check
But she still has a couple hours til her stuff will arrive. She contacted the movers and let the know the address that they would be bringing it to. Saying the excitment was taking over body would be the correct term, she actually let out a small screech of happiness once she was alone in her apartment. Locking the door she decided to just go get the stuff that she had with her at the hotel and just grab some lunch and maybe walk around and explore the city a bit while waiting on her things.
Walking around the city she was just mesmerized with how beautiful this city was I mean she cant say Washington wasnt beautiful but the way that Chicago was just felt like maybe this is where she was meant to be this whole time. It felt like home. Finally recieving the text that her stuff was going to be arriving in 30 mins she started to head back to her apartment. Her phone went off again thinking that it was the movers but this time it was a number that she didnt recoginize, opening up her phone the text simply said "Hey this is jay, I had a second so I thought that I would text you so that you would have my number as well" she smiles and simply replys "Ok. Got it. Hope work isnt to hard on you today."
The movers got everything up to the apartment without breaking anything surprisingly because on the way up they dropped a few things and i guess it was just her lucky day. Everything was still in one piece but now that she is alone she can actually start making this place look like a home. She has music playing as she is setting everything up and then her mind starts to wonder about who her neighbor could be the only information that the manager give me about my neighbor is that he was a guy and he was barely ever home. I mean yeah I am pretty sure that once I start work that ill hardly ever be home to but I am absolutely ok with that. She had finally got her bedroom setup the way that she wants it & almost half done with the living room when her stomach growls and she looks at the time realizing that it is almost 7pm and that she hasnt eat anything since lunch, she was so caught up and getting everything she just forgot. So she just stopped what she was doing and grabbed her keys and wallet to go get something to eat. As she locks her door she turns around and definitely didnt think thats who her neighbor was going to be...
You have got to be kidding me........
#jay halstead imagine#jay halstead x reader#Jay halstead x kim burgess#kim burgess#chicagopd#chicago pd x reader
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Can you answer 1, 5, and 44 for all those characters you mentioned?
heck yea! thanks! this is going to get very long tho so brace yourselves lol. I’m going to do them grouped by characters.
Ben
1. What is one word to shut them up?
I’m going to assume this means like a word that gets them to stop talking for a not so great reason and not just “quiet!” but i might be wrong and just be in the mood for some angst. For Ben, it’s kind of moot because they don’t talk, but saying anything at all with an angry tone would definitely get them to freeze up.
5. List 3 fears; one surface-level fear, one repressed fear, and one deep dark fear.
Oh my god you have no idea how perfect this question is because fear is a Huge aspect of this story considering Ben is Nightmare and their powers completely revolve around fear. Ok so, surface fear is sleeping, which has a very not surface level reason, but i’d still count it. They will do fucking anything to not sleep (tho funny enough they don’t drink caffeine, it sends their powers all wack). A repressed fear... hmm im not sure if this means like a fear they don’t acknowledge or fear that they have but don't know the reason for. I’m going to go with it just being a slightly less bad but still big fear, and/or something they don’t know the reason for but still are afraid of if i can think of something. So for repressed fear, it’d be showing their wrists. They don’t know why it’s so anxiety provoking for them, they never cut and their only bad scars are on their neck not their wrists, but if they aren’t wearing long sleeves or dont have bracelets covering their wrists then they get antsy and anxious. For Deep Dark Fear, i could list just about any of the fears Carter left them with, sure, but the Carter shit really falls under the “trauma” category rather than simple “fear” category since the reason they are afraid of shit like making noise and people being mad is because of their trauma. So i’m going to go with their powers. Their powers scare the shit out of them, partially bc they literally see and hear everyone’s worst nightmares whenever they are near someone. they are constantly surrounded by fear and always have been. that’s fucking awful honestly. but also bc when THEY get scared, other people suffer since they are an empathetic type. and they dont want to hurt anyone. So... yea.
44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?
We’re back to the sleep thing here. god this kid needs a five day nap, they are always exhausted. But dreams are Carter’s domain, and if they sleep, he can find them, hurt them, whatever he wants. So they can’t, not until Carter is gone.
Oliver
1. What is one word to shut them up?
Ollie has a few words/phrases that almost always will send them into the past at some point. “Duck!” or “Grenade!” or anything that might be shouted on a battlefield, certain quotes from historical figures, some names or dates, stuff like that. He goes nonverbal when he’s particularly lost, so that’s a surefire way to get him to shut up.
5. List 3 fears; one surface-level fear, one repressed fear, and one deep dark fear.
Ok so, surface-level is ovens. He will not use an oven, or any microwaves, or any kitchen appliances that could start a fire. He also refuses to take a bath and prefers someone being in the other room when he takes showers. This is 100% because he gets lost in time so easily that he’ll forget what’s going on in the present time. I cannot stress to you how many times this kid has almost set his house on fire bc he got lost in 1620 and forgot he had the oven on. Baths usually make him head back to a time with lots of water, be it in the middle of a fucking ocean or during a flood or whatever, and he hates that bc usually, he doesn’t show up in a nice safe place and he’ll feel exactly like he’s drowning even if he isn’t physically drowning. Showers he slips a lot in for similar reasons, hence why he prefers someone who’s listening nearby. For repressed fear, he’s afraid of dying, even if he acts fine with it. No one acknowledges it besides the other Elementals, but Oliver is the Time Elemental. Time isn’t a recognized Element, but the Elementals just Know. Even though he’s just 18, he’s only got a few years left, and he’s just got to put on a brave face bc there’s not much he can do about it. For Deep Dark Fear, he’s terrified of losing the remaining time he’s got left. Even though he’s only 18, because of PlotTM, he’s only got a couple of years before he burns up, and he’s terrified to lose it.
44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?
Watch documentaries. Funnily enough, Ollie is a massive history nerd, always has been, and he used to watch a ton of documentaries before he got his powers. But even nature or space ones will inevitably make him forget when he is, and so he can’t watch any. He also can’t read any historical fiction books (which sucked when he was younger, his favorite book series had been the Magic Treehouse) for a similar reason. He can read history textbooks, though, since they just list facts and dont show footage or make it seem like it IS that time.
Morty
1. What is one word to shut them up?
hmm. tricky... Let’s go with Hotspot. If you’ve read sparks fly, you get why.
5. List 3 fears; one surface-level fear, one repressed fear, and one deep dark fear.
Surface level is probably dogs. He’s been attacked by multiple dogs, multiple times since most animals don't vibe with his whole dark aura of death thing. But getting attacked by dogs is the one that stuck most. He gets nervous around Ollie’s service dog, Edison, but Edison is so well trained he just doesn’t care and being near him actually helps Morty with that fear. Repressed fear is definitely death. Which yea, i know, that’s weird considering he’s the death elemental but hear me out. 1 unlike sparky who gets overwhelmed by too much electricity, Morty gets basically drunk when he’s around too much death. Hospitals, battlefields, large graveyards, etc, and the thing is, he loves that feeling. and it scares him how much he loves it, partially bc he knows what the last death elemental was like and doesn't want to be like them (for reference, the guy went on a mass murder spree and started a couple of civil wars since the death elemental will live until the high rates of death stop, even if it’s past when Elementals normally die and you know they didn’t want to die). 2 Morty’s very existence is a sign that mass death is coming but there are no wars going on and that scares the shit out of him. 3 One Eye literally planted the fear of his powers, killing, and death in his mind to try and limit the damage he could cause and to prevent another situation like the last death elemental. For Deep Dark Fear, Morty is terrified that he can’t trust his own memories or even what he knows about himself. One Eye manipulated his memories and mind so so much and for so long. Morty’s always doubting what he knows and what he believes bc its not like One Eye HASNT planted shit, and he’s always on edge bc he doesnt even feel safe in his own damn mind.
44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?
As of the start of the story? Be with Ben. For most of the time the two have known each other, they were online friends, until they both ran away together when they were 17. But about 4 months ago Morty left to go back to the SA headquarters, even though it’s literally part of his biggest fear to go back, because Ben was facing a double threat of either Carter getting them, or the SA, and Morty is determined to get the SA to leave them alone (ok technically the Supers Association and Heroes do leave them alone bc One Eye is scared shitless of Ben, but they send assassins like Scout and Hall after them all the fuckin time, and not all of them have sorta morals like the triad). In general tho, hear Ben’s voice. He just wants Ben to feel safe. (Morty is a fucking romantic no matter how tough he likes to act i swear)
I’ve got to do my interview now and this post is long enough as is, so I’ll do the same questions for Matty and Blue afterwards!! thanks!!
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I don't think Daenerys has gone mad, she made a choice, and it was the wrong choice. (Long post)
Disclaimer: I'm a woman and a historian so please don't start throwing 'sexism' and 'jon is only better because he has a d**k' statements at me.
Soo I dont think Dany has gone mad. I think she has PTSD and she made a choice out of anger and desperation.
Let's go back to the beginning, Viserys told Dany from day one that the Targaryens belonged on the throne and it was stolen from them. She grew up with that mentality but she never seemed all the bothered by it. She pretty much knew even if Viserys was given an army he would probably fail. Dany was happy in her life as Khaleesi, it was only after she watched her brother die and Drogo said he would take the seven kingdoms for her than she seemed to think she should be queen.
Dany got a taste for power as Khaleesi and was pissed when she couldn't have everything she wanted. She wanted to claim all the slaves as her own but that wasn't the Dothraki way, even Jorah told her that but she wasnt having it making her very unpopular with the Dothraki.
She went against all the Dothraki believed in when she had magic used on Drogo. Once she really messed him up she lost the great khalessar and any respect she may have had. She was tolerated because she was Drogos wife. Only the women, children and lame stayed behind with her.
Once she gave 'birth' to her dragons she started to be seen almost like a goddess. Everyone kneeled to her even Jorah. She started to show signs that fire was now her answer to dealing with people she doesn't like. Remember Miri Maz Durr who was supposed to save Drogo? She had her burned alive because Dany thought she owed her her life. Dany thought she was a hero and should be treated like one, but remember Miri Maz Durr's words to her:
"Saved me? Three of those riders had already raped me before you saved me, girl. I saw my god's house burn, there where I had healed men and women beyond counting. In the streets I saw piles of heads... the head of the baker who makes my bread, the head a young boy that I had cured of fever just three moons past. So... tell me again exactly what it was that you saved?"
Miri Maz was traumatized and her world ended, she told Dany that a life had to be taken for Drogo's, Dany just wanted what she wanted and unfortunately it was her son's life that was taken. Her solution? She burned Miri Maz on a funeral pyre. Miri Maz lost everything and took revenge, Dany lost a lot and did what? She massacred an entire city of Innocent people. By Danys own logic she should be burned to.
Then what? Dany went and started to free slaves, great! But she used fire to deal with her enemies again. I'm not pro slavery, but the slave traders weren't Danys enemies, she decided to turn up then burn and crucify them all. She took it upon herself to decide how those cities should be run when she had no place there at all. Then she got all the Unsullied who decided to stay with her, which makes sense because she freed them, same with the other slaves. Once again Dany was hailed as a Goddess 'Mysa!' 'Mother of Dragons' 'Breaker of chains' 'the unburned' and all that Jazz. All that praise? Goes to a persons head.
Dany would liberate these cities and then she would leave them in chaos. Dany might be good at liberating people who had no say in their lives and wouldn't embrace the first person to treat them as people, but she sucks as governing.
Dany said she was going to break the wheel rather than stop the wheel. She hadn't even seen the bloody wheel in Westeros. All she had was stories. Dany believed she belonged on the throne just because of her name.
Tyrion? Varys? They chose Dany because at the time they thought she might be the best answer and they hadn't seen her more murderous tendencies. Plus anyone has to be better than Cersei on the throne right? And no one knew about Jon.
When Dany finally got to Westeros she said she always thought it would feel like a home coming, but it wasnt. Why? Because it's not Danys home, she doesn't belong there. She immediately expected everyone in Westeros to bend the knee to her purely because she finally decided to show up and demand the throne. No one knew who she was, no one had ever seen her before.
Dany was used to being in a Khalessar or 'ruling' over a city. Dany has no experience in fuedalism. She demanded Jon bend the knew and said he was in open rebellion against her. Open rebellion against a woman who claims the crown but hasnt actually done anything to get it? Open rebellion against a woman he and the North have never even seen or knew anything about other than she has dragons?
People say Dany saved everyone's arses from the white walkers. That's just not true. Dany claims to be Queen of the Seven kingdoms? Well then the problems of those kingdoms become hers. If Dany had left Jon to deal with the white walkers then yeah he probably would have been killed along with everyone else. But then Dany would have had a white walker problem to deal with on her own. The walkers and the Night King would have destroyed the North and headed South killing everyone in their path while Dany sat at Dragon Stone waiting for people to bend the knee. There wouldn't have been anyone left to do that and the Night King would have destroyed her armies and then her. So no, Dany helped with an issue that according to her own claims became her own.
Dany is foolish to, when she meets Jon she hardly believes that white walkers are even a thing. In the same scene she then tell Jon about how no one believed Dragons would exist again but there they were. So she believes that she's great enough to bring back dragons but the very idea that White Walkers are a thing is beyond her comprehension? This woman has seen magic and visions!
Dany also told Jon it was her destiny to be Queen of the seven kingdoms. Well that's just nonsense and something she's just convinced herself to be true because she wasnt born to be queen. She had two older brothers and an elder nephew and niece, add Jon to the mix and Dany would never have been destined to be queen.
Dany and Sansa didn't get on because Sansa wasn't taken in by Dany like many others have been. Sansa isn't dazzled by titles or dragons. While Dany and Jon were busy squabbling over who should rule Sansa was busy making sure her people had enough food and leather in their armour to keep them warm. Sansa had no interest in the North giving up their autonomy to a woman they had never seen before. Jon had no right to give the North to Dany, he was elected king, that doesn't make him an absolute monarch.
Dany asked for Jon's advice and he told her not to go burning people because 'she wouldn't be different, she would be more or the same". She then Immediately goes and burns the Lannister army without giving them a chance to surrender. She let's a few live, and demands they bend the knee or they die. Thats not really a choice at all, it's dictatorship. Even Tyrion tries to talk her out of that, he knows how Westeros works and Dany doesn't. She then burned Lord Tarly and his son. She won't have the love of those people, she can't demand their love and she can't gain it the same way she did in Merreen. The people of Westeros aren't slaves, they dont want her or need her.
After they won the battle for Winterfell Dany was seen to be on the outside looking in at the feast. She helped save the day, but she doesn't know anyone in the North. The Northerners celebrate with family and friends. Jon and Sansa and the wildlings all drink together, Tyrion is drinking with Jaime and Brienne. Dany expects everyone to worship her because she had been treated like that for years so when it doesn't happen she feels put out. It's not Danys fault, it's just no one has ever put a check on her power until she arrived in the North. The Unsullied and the Dothraki aren't Danys 'friends' they worship and serve her.
Dany finds out Jon is a Targaryen and the true heir to the throne. She begs him not to tell anyone something she has no right to do. He tells his family though and of course it spreads. Sansa doesn't trust Dany and I dont blame her. Jon may not want to be king but he doesn't go around burning people to get respect. Jon already has it, he's a Northerner, he's the 'son' of an honorable Lord. He's was Lord Commander of the Nights Watch, he's been beyond the wall, he fought white walkers, he fought in the battle of the bastards. Jon was elected king in the North. Jon doesn't demand respect because he feels he's entitled to it. He even came back from the dead but he doesn't brag about it. He doesn't call himself 'Jon Snow, The King in the North, the Ressurected one". So yeah given the choice between the two I'd have chosen Jon to.
Varys realises he made the wrong choice, he serves the people and always has. He would place his bets on Jon rather than Dany given what he was seen and he dies for it.
Tyrion knows he's fucked up, Dany doesn't believe the people in Kings Landing are important at all. She's so focused on getting what she wants she doesn't stop to think about the very people she claims to be coming to save.
Dany lost a dragon saving Jon, she lost another one because she didn't have the foresight to check the bloody perimeter and her dragon was killed. She took her best friend and advisor who doesn't know how to fight to the battle and she was kidnapped and killed.
Dany then made the decision to 'kill them all' with fire even AFTER the city surrendered. She could have just flown to the Red Keep and killed Cersei who was standing on the balcony. Dany made a choice and it was the wrong one. Dany isn't mad, she's traumatized and she's realised she would NEVER have the love and respect of the people of Westeros. She has done nothing to earn it, nothing that anyone else hasnt done. She has shown the people that if you say no to her she will burn you to a crisp. She's tried so hard not to be her father but ironically that's exactly what she's become. She said she hadn't come to be the queen of fire and Ash but that's exactly what she's done.
Dany has no head for strategy or ruling. She believes she's there to free people but the fact is Westeros isn't Mereen. The people of Westeros aren't slaves , they don't need their Lords killed. Dany wants to be the savior of a country that doesn't need or want her to save them.
Dany doesn't realise that soldiers of Westeros aren't like the Dothraki or the Unsullied. They don't all fight because they believe in the cause. The soldiers live under the lesser Lords who are the bannermen to the higher Lord who then swear allegiance to the monarch. Those soldiers and Innocents she burned all died pointlessly. She burns the majority then give the fraction of survivers a choice?
Look at all the other kings in Westeros, none of them acted like Dany does save for maybe Joffrey and we all know how that ended. Joffrey at least didn't believe himself to be absolute, he was put in his place by Tywin. The other kings? Robert? He was loved , Renly was loved, Stannis was respected, Robb was loved, Tommen was tolerated but didn't really do anything, but Margery was loved.
In conclusion Dany had good intentions when she started out but she was praised so much it went to her head and she started acting like that was her due. She broke chains and freed slaves and seemed to think that's what Westeros needed. She doesn't know how to rule, she's impatient and doesnt like listening to advice. She demands respect and expects to be obeyed by people she has never met before. She acts like her father even though she claims he was an 'evil man'. Remember when she apologized to Jon on behalf of her house because of what happened to his grandfather and uncle? Who is going to apologise to the people of Kings Landing? How is Dany not an 'evil woman'? Dany did exactly the same thing that made Jaime stab her father in the back. Dany knows what she did was evil.
There is no coming back from what she has done. If there was even a chance for her to at least gain the people's respect if not love she just lost it. She will forever be on everyone's hit list now. Dany has become everything she spent years fighting against.
I think what needs to happen is Drogon needs to die. Dany will always be protected while he is there. Drogon needs to be taken out then Dany.
#daenerys targaryen#game of thrones#jon snow#anti daenerys#khaleesi#khal drogo#viserys targaryen#sansa stark#varys#tyrion lannister#mirri maz deer#drogon
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Bethan, i need your updated version of the larry timeline right now (or as soon as you have the time to do it lmao)
my timeline still stands as follows:
2010-2011: happy as well…..larry……everything is new and exciting and a tad overwhelming but they’re gross and obsessed with eachother and maybe a little bit scared about what exactly this feeling is but it’s mostly all just a joke and a laugh and louis can brush it off as nothing when maybe the touches linger a little bit too long. knows he hasnt felt like this about anyone or at least not any boy before put puts it down to the weird circumstances they’ve found eachother in and the intensity of the whole experience and the fact that harry is just harry and everyone seems to be at least a little bit in love with harry. harry doesnt think too much about anything when it comes to louis bc he’s just too busy lapping up all the attention he gets from him and bathing in it and feeling warm warm warm and it’s not like he can see any reason why that might have to stop and he’s enjoying it too much in the mean time
2012: things start to get more overwhelming and a bit more scary but now there’s not the excitement or the newness to blame it on bc they’ve been living together for ages and it’s harder to pass off a drunken kiss as just that when it was only one pint and louis has been noticing harry staring at his lips since before they even moved in together. and other people notice it too and that starts to become something neither of them really know how to handle. people online talking about them has been happening since day one but it keeps getting louder and its harder to laugh it off when it almost feels like if things were different there might be some truth to it. but there isnt. because louis has a girlfriend and harry has sort of had girlfriends and even though all harry wants to do sometimes is crawl into louis bed he can’t bc eleanor is there and she’s always there these days and its not like he can tell her to go away. maybe one night it all comes to a head when they’re back from tour and are alone together for the first time in too long and maybe they’ve had something to drink and they’re exhausted and stressed and don’t know how to get back to the way they were before. and harry will say something stupid and reach out to touch louis face and then they’re kissing but only for a second before louis is pushing him away and wont look him in the eye. harry shouts at him and its weird bc he never shouts and thats when he knows he has to move out
2013: they dont live together anymore and neither of them know if they’re even really still friends and that might be the worst part because before they were anything else they were best friends. harry has new best friends now and they’re cool and trendy and older and take him to gay bars and talk about things he’s never talked about before and thats when he starts to find himself, or at least think about finding himself. doesnt know if its coincidence that thats when he loses louis. they’re friendly at work, on stage and with the band they can laugh together and crack jokes but neither can remember the last time it was just them by themselves. they’re in eachothers heads a lot, probably too much and sometimes louis will even dream about harry but its always like he’s looking at him through murky water. features a bit distorted and never within touching distance. something stopping him from reaching out. harry will still catch himself staring at louis occasionally but he has other things, other people to keep him occupied for the most part. sometimes he’ll get home at four in the morning to an empty flat and he’ll think about how louis would always want a cup of tea as soon as they got in and how harry was always the one that made it for him. he’ll fall asleep on the sofa with his jeans on to the sound of the kettle clicking as it boils in the kitchen
2014 - 2015: harry grows his hair long and louis thinks it looks ridiculous but wonders how soft it might feel to touch. rolls his eyes at the way harrys always winding it through his fingers. the band are breaking up, and it’s bittersweet. as are most things these days. it was harrys suggestion and first louis was angry and then he was relieved and then he felt guilty and then angry again but now he thinks he’s alright with it. he knows that when it’s over him and harry are over. knows harry won’t text him or call to make plans and knows it would hurt his own pride too much if he tried because harry wouldn’t humour him with a response. so he tries, really tries to make the most of what time they’ve got left together. chats to him backstage, laughs at his jokes in interviews, even goes as far as to say his name on stage once. and at the final show they both know it’s coming, was inevitable really. they go in for the hug and just before it happens harry catches louis shrug at him nonchalantly, like he’s doing harry some kind of massive favour by wrapping his arms around him one last time. harry almost expects to feel something and it catches him off guard when instead it’s just nothing. no aching or longing for a few seconds more and he doesn’t even realise until later it was the first time louis had properly touched him in years. louis does. the smell of harrys aftershave is overwhelming and he can feel the sprinkling of stubble on his jaw brush against his. their knees bang together and louis can feel the hot skin of harrys back through the cotton of his shirt. harry pulls away first and louis wishes everyone else in the arena would fuck off so he could say goodbye properly
2016: harry texts louis ‘Congratulations, hope everything went well. You’re going to be a great dad. - H x’ and louis doesn’t text him back. he opens the message so the notification clears but he doesn’t respond and he doesn’t delete it. just leaves it there. louis doesn’t have harry’s number saved so for once the H sign off actually comes in handy. harry drafted and deleted the text 8 different times before he sent it. contemplated calling but didn’t think he could bear it. he doesn’t get upset when louis doesn’t respond. never really expected him to anyway
2017-2018: harry doesn’t really party that much anymore. has been busy with work and the album and the tour and prefers smaller social gatherings with a couple of friends. but one night he finds himself out in london with old school friends, dipping in and out of clubs in soho. louis parties a lot these days. it makes him feel good and he likes the loud music and new people and how he feels a bit more weightless. the last person he expects to bump into is harry and for a moment he really doesn’t even recognise him. he looks out of place but comfortable with it and without thinking about it louis is calling him over. they chat for a while about nothing important before harry says ‘well it was nice seeing you again’ and louis knows it was a lie. ‘yeah mate, you too’ are their parting words before harry disappears into the sea of people inside a nightclub and louis thinks maybe if this was a few years ago he wouldn’t have let him leave so easily
2019: they don’t think about eachother apart from when they do. and when they do it’s few and far between. maybe harry will open twitter and louis will be trending and he might read some of his tweets. he can close the app and louis will stay tucked inside it, no thoughts of him sneaking out and sticking to harry the way they used to. and for louis, it’s mostly the same. harry is harry and everyones a little bit in love with harry, you weren’t special for that, he tells himself. on the odd occasion he fantasises about the future, about being properly old and seeing harry again. having some kind of heart to heart and apologising for hurting him, for hurting eachother. they were so young back then but he still feels young now, like everything still needs time to sink in before either of them are ready to dig it back up again. for now he’s happy, and harry is happy too. it happened the way it happened and neither of them can change the past. if they were supposed to be friends, they probably still would be. and they would miss eachother more than they do now. there’s always going to be a bit of one in the other, etched into their skin like a white scar that never seems to fade away. and perhaps they like it that way
#me 5 mins ago: no i absolutey cannot write a larry drabble in fact i refuse why would u even ask me that#me now: so here's this#Anonymous
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Me and stephanie dancing up Christian
"ROB SIMS presents KellyMBentley.Com in 2008! "
Female 26 years old ATLANTA, Georgia United States
Last Login: 4/13/2008
I love models and everything to do with the glamour industry. I am seriously into photography. I love to dance and I am currently learning to sing. I am crazy in love with my American Pitt Bull Terrier "Layla" and I love spending time with her playing freesbee with her and my loving fiance Django. I love fast cars preferrably American Muscle. My favorite would be a Trans Am. Long live Cassondra
Music I love all types of music, but my favorite is Classic Rock including the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Doors, Def Lepard, AC/DC, Primus, Nine Inch Nail all kinds of artists. I love dancing to hip-hop, but I really don’t have any favorites.
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The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Details
Status: In a Relationship Here for: Networking, Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Alabama Body type: Slim / Slender Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / No Education: College graduate Occupation: Model
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Schools Southern Union State Community College Wadley, AL Graduated: 2002 Student status: Alumni Degree: Associate’s Degree Major: Computer Science
2000 to 2002
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Companies NOPI Motorsports Atlanta, Georgia US Nopi Chic Model
Construction Cuties Atlanta, Georgia US
M Bentley Productions Atlanta, Georgia US
The Kelly M. Bentley is Taking Over the F*cking World!
The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Latest Blog Entry [Subscribe to this Blog]
Rob Sims and Kelly Bentley 2008 (view more)
RIDE FOR LIFE…..Relay For Life Charity Event (view more)
Coyote Ugly Episode 5…Thank God its Over! (view more)
National Glamour Showcase Florida (view more)
Coyote Ugly Episode 4 (view more)
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The Kelly M. Bentley ‘s Blurbs About me: Its hard to describe myself because I am constantly changing. So to start, above all else, I am a bad ass bartender. I bartend at OPERA Nightclub here in Atlanta, Geogia. Its the biggest and hottest club in Atlanta. I also bartend at the Irish Bred Carrollton where I can fulfill my bar dancing passion to AC/DC, Buckcherry (Crazy biotch!), and Def Lepard. I love serving up cocktails with a little sassy shake some come by either place and check me out!!
Second, I am a model and one of the hottest female entrepreneurs on this planet. In modeling, I specialize in glamour, fitness, and promotional modeling. I always have something going on somewhere. I’m partnering up with NOPI as a NOPI CHIC for 2008. I love doing charity work so keep updated on my events and help us out. As an entrepreneur, I own half of a calendar production company with JM Polsfuss that is responsible for the hottest calendar coming out in 2009 Construction Cuties. Watch for it!! I also just teamed up with get this…yes…The Rob Sims….which we will have my website launched by the end of Spring to help heat up the summer for you. Also watch for all the magazine covers, layouts, spreads, etc. coming soon…I told you guys I’ll be taking over the WORLD!! Lastly, I am a regular girl that had a dream and am still forcing it to come true come hell or high water. I’m from a small town, but I’m working hard to fulfill my big city dreams as well as those of other girls who want to be models with MODELICIOUS. So if you want to try modeling, don’t listen to people when they tell you that you cant do it, they said I couldn’t, and I look at me…so don’t listen, contact me and lets see what we can do. I DONT DO ANYTHING FOR FREE….so don’t ask. I have a small network of professional models I use and promote because they have become friends. Don’t ask for my contacts, because I work hard in promoting and networking myself so why should I just hand over my hard work to you. If you want my network, you pay for my network.
THINGS YOU WOULDN’T GUESS ABOUT ME: No one would ever guess that I used to be in the Army National Guard. I used to be on Active Reserve as the RA for SFC Robert Cornett. I got out in 2005. I also used to wiegh 170 lbs. I gained a huge amount of weight when I quit drinking and smoking. Yea a lot of you thought it would never happen. I quit cold turkey and the turkey went to my ass. I lost 50 lbs. on the Subway diet. I was recently on the Coyote Ugly Reality Show on CMT and hated every minute. I also have a degree in Political Science and Computer Science with a minor in Military Science. Just some cool quirks about me. TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey Name: Kelly M Bentley Birthday: October 7th Birthplace: Anniston, Alabama Current Location: Atlanta, Georgia Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde/Brunette..hell I don’t know Height: 5’5" if I’d stand up straight Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Irish/German &..39;The Shoes You Wore Today:’ My beloved flip flops Your Weakness: Your Fears: airplanes, elevators, and scurrying vermon Your Perfect Pizza: cheese/pepperoni without any sauce Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be at 8% Body Fat by the end of the year Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I dont even know how to set that shit up… Thoughts First Waking Up: What in the hell are the Backyardigans? Your Best Physical Feature: My big ghetto booty Your Bedtime: When ever my mind decides to quit thinking Your Most Missed Memory: No clue..too much memory lost Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine free coke MacDonalds or Burger King: both are some nasty shit…I dont put it in my body! Single or Group Dates: Cant remember my last date… Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don’t drink any tea Chocolate or Vanilla: Just hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt Cappuccino or Coffee: Caffeine free Coffee Do you Smoke: hell no Do you Swear: I swear I cuss too much Do you Sing: Did you catch my show? Think I’ll stick to the shower. Do you Shower Daily: more than once Have you Been in Love: Only twice for sure Do you want to go to College: Been there done that Do you want to get Married: Umm….when I’m too old to know better Do you belive in yourself: more than anyother person besides Roy Do you get Motion Sickness: Do you think you are Attractive: No but others tend to disagree Are you a Health Freak: Absolutely Do you get along with your Parents: depends on the day of the week Do you like Thunderstorms: love them Do you play an Instrument: In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: don’t drink alcohol In the past month have you Smoked: I quit when I was 20 In the past month have you been on Drugs: hell no drugs are for weak people In the past month have you gone on a Date: I havent gone on a date in the past few years In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No..I hate the mall..I’m in need of another personal shopper In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: yea right…my trainer would shoot me In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don’t eat fish In the past month have you been on Stage: too many times In the past month have you been Dumped: No In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I wish In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No but someone stole two of my damned portfolios Ever been Drunk: Plastered on many occassions Ever been called a Tease: What girl hasnt Ever been Beaten up: No but I got launched off some steps one time Ever Shoplifted: no I only steal hearts How do you want to Die: at 200mph on the Autobahn What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I’m doing it but not grown up yet What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Any that don’t lie Favourite Hair Color: any that I can run my fingers through Short or Long Hair: either Height: all heights Weight: weight doesn’t matter Best Clothing Style: clothes dont make the man Number of Drugs I have taken: Don’t do drugs Number of CDs I own: not too many Number of Piercings: ears and belly button Number of Tattoos: 1 Number of things in my Past I Regret: only 1…if you know me you know what it is
CREATE YOUR OWN! – or – GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Myspace Layouts – Myspace Editor – Image Hosting
Who I’d like to meet: TO ALL MODELS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS: Now that I am partnered up with Robs Sims who is the most published photographer on the planet also owner of FitBeauties and FitModels International Magazines, photographer for Oxygen, MuscleMag, InStyle, American Curves, Maxim, FHM, Mens Health…okay I’m tired already. Too many to list. Google him for the rest…lol. Rob and I will be offering photoshoots to ambitious models with the guarantee to be published. Yes there is a catch. 1)like I said I don’t do anything for FREE 2) Neither does he 3) you have to be approved by me first. Sorry ladies…I have to be picky. Feel free to submit to me for shoots with Rob. I will be honest and give you feedback. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN GUARANTEE YOU PUBLICATION IN MAJOR MAGAZINES.
Posted by dcsmith2752002 on 2008-06-23 13:19:11
Tagged: , KELLY , M , BENTLEY , IN , ATLANTA , GA , NIGHT , LIFE , BASIC , BLACK , FORMAL-WEAR , AND , CASUAL , -WEAR , ATTIRES
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The Start of Forever - Part 5
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Pairing: Drake x MC
Word Count: 2,387
Series Summary: The wedding has passed and the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria are free to begin their lives together away from the constraints of court. While honeymooning in Texas, they’re confronted with questions from their past that raise implications about their future. (Slight AU)
Chapter Summary: Drake and Jena spend some time alone after a difficult conversation with his mother.
Author’s Note: Whew! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus on this story. Now that I have some free time again, I should be able to finish posting this story. I appreciate your patience through the long delay!
Tagging: @andy-loves-corgis, @carabeth, @speedyoperarascalparty
All things considered, Karen Walker had been rather more understanding than she’d expected. As Jena loaded her cereal bowl into the dishwasher, she thought back over the painstaking conversation that had ended less than an hour before.
Drake had not underestimated the effect that their news would have on his mother. On learning that her son had been given a duchy, color had drained slowly from the older woman’s face until a dull white shell was all that remained. In spite of her polite responses, the visceral reactions had been painful for all three of them.
Shortly after their previous discussion had finished, Karen had pulled Drake aside for a private word. After what she'd seen over the past eighteen hours, Jena could only hope that the woman was doing him no further damage.
She tried to convince herself that she’d done nothing but hurry along the inevitable, but guilt assailed her all the same. This certainly wasn’t the way she’d envisioned this day going. At this point, so much of their morning had been consumed by unpleasant conversation that she wondered if Drake would want to leave early for their night back in Dallas. She glanced a the stovetop clock, trying not to get her hopes up.
The quiet intonations from down the hall were at least somewhat reassuring. There had been no yelling -- of that was certain. If she was venturing to guess, she didn’t think she’d heard anything that sounded like crying either. Both seemed like signs in favor of productive conversation between mother and son.
Jena found a rag draped across the head of the faucet, dampened it, and set about clearing crumbs from the table. As she finished the final swipe across the width, she sensed a presence coming toward her.
“You don’t have to do that, Wittman.” The soft-spoken words startled out of her thoughts, despite her intuition.
“I know. But I needed something to do.” She cupped her hand underneath the cloth and shook the contents into a nearby trash can. “You doing okay?” Having rinsed the rag, she returned it to its former spot and rubbed her hands down the front of her jeans.
“Fine.” His brown eyes were trained on her, and she raised a quizzical brow as he opened and shut his mouth. Eventually, the words ventured forth. “Would you be interested in going riding? I was hoping to get the chance to show you around the ranch…”
“I’d like that a lot, actually,” she assured, still taking in his appearance.
Drake looked tired. It was evident in the exaggerated slackness of the skin around his eyes. A pang of guilt plagued her as she contrasted this with their time at the cabin. He’d been so peaceful there. After all of the stress she’d seen on that face in the past months, it sickened her to think that she’d been the cause of more.
“Good. We may as well get over to the stables. Have you ever actually saddled a horse, Wittman?” He raised his brow in challenge.
“No, but I think I’m about to learn how.”
“Just as long as you don’t go scaring the horses. I don’t want to have to reenact that rescue from the derby.”
Jena scoffed at the slight, shaking her head in disbelief as she followed him out the front door. “You know that’s not how it happened, Walker.”
“Of course not,” he acquiesced, treating her to a half smile. She rolled her eyes and fell into step at his side, slipping her fingers into his.
Jena had only ridden horses a few times during childhood, but she’d adjusted to the practice fairly quickly after coming to Cordonia. When she wasn’t taking day-long treks for foxhunting, she found that she actually enjoyed it very much -- especially when she was fortunate enough to have her husband’s company.
Riding around his family’s property spawned memories of exploring Valtoria with him on horseback, and she felt a pang of longing for their home. There was so much waiting for them when they returned. As much as she had enjoyed the honeymoon, some part of her was giddy at the thought of starting real life together.
Today, however, she was focused on Drake’s wellbeing. Other than the extremely thorough instructions as he’d guided her through the process of saddling the horses, he’d been fairly quiet since coming to find her in the kitchen. Jena's mind overflowed with words that could fill the silence, but nothing felt right. She breathed a grateful sigh when he chose to speak instead.
“I was pretty upset with you this morning, Wittman. I was sitting there drinking coffee and thinking that you were being unreasonable -- that you’d judged my mom too harshly. I’m not so sure anymore.”
The uncertainty in his voice halted her instinctive response. Jena breathed out slowly through her nose, biding her time in case there was more he wanted to say.
“I’ve never felt so angry with her before. She can doubt me all she wants, but doubting you -- I never thought she’d go that far. That’s a line she shouldn’t have crossed. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore...”
“For the record, I didn’t want to be right,” Jena admitted softly, grateful that they kept their horses at a relaxed pace so that she could meet his gaze. Her heart clenched at the distance in his deep brown eyes. “I just know what it’s like to defend someone who doesn’t deserve it. Finding out they’re not who you thought they were...it’s a hard pill to swallow.” She fiddled with the leather reins between her fingers, hoping that she was treading lightly enough to cause no offense.
“Your dad?” he asked simply.
Nodding, she met his eyes. The distant look gave way to a tenderness that mirrored her own worry for him, and she was struck by just how broken both of their families had been. “I wasted a lot of years making excuses for him, Drake. When I finally forgave him, it wasn’t because he’d done anything to deserve it. I just needed closure.” Drake stretched out a hand and she took it gratefully before continuing. “I don’t want you to have to go through all of that with your mom. I hope you’re able to figure things out and find a way to start over, but please don’t beat yourself up about it if you’re not.”
Her husband sighed, taking his time to respond as he turned his gaze to the horizon. “I sort of have to. I mean, dad’s not around any more. She doesn’t exactly have anyone else.”
Jena shook her head in an attempt to clear the conflicting emotions. She’d realized long ago that his protective instinct would have a propensity for getting them in trouble. She just hadn’t expected the trouble to take this form. “You always want to defend the people you care about, Drake. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you -- one of the things I love most about you too. But sometimes you have to think about protecting yourself. Sometimes that may even mean letting others protect you.”
“I don’t like to have people worrying about me.”
“We’ve been over this before…”
“I know. And sometimes having you around to worry about me is a good thing. I wouldn’t have come clean with my mom if it hadn’t been for you.”
“I hope it was the right decision.” She’d spent the past several hours second guessing her encouragement from the night before. “Did things...go okay?”
“Heh.”
She waited several moments, but he elaborated no further. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she ventured finally.
“Just that I think it’s going to take some time for her to adjust to the idea that I’m a noble and that I’m staying in Cordonia for good. But I think some part of her is proud too. Maybe someday she’ll come around to the idea that I’m not just wasting my life over there.”
“Does she really think that?” The words felt strangled as Jena worked them out of her throat. So many of her early interactions with Drake became clearer as she considered Karen’s likely influence.
He clicked his tongue to encourage the horse, but her question remained unanswered. Several paces later, he came to a sudden stop. Jena pulled the reins gently and dismounted to stand beside him in the tall grass.
“We’ll let the horses graze for a bit.”
She stroked the mare’s bony cheek and dropped the reins, putting her hands in her pockets instead. Squinting against the mid-morning sun, she followed Drake to a line of fencing nearby. Green stretched before them on every side, the light wind stirring long blades of grass into mesmerizing waves. She wondered vaguely if this was the sight that had enticed Karen to come back from Cordonia. Out here, in the warmth of late spring, it wasn’t hard to imagine the appeal that this land must have held.
Drake leaned against the nearest post, a wrinkle forming between his brows. With ease, Jena mounted the fence beside him, steadying herself with a certain hand.
Did I cross a line? Why hasn’t he answered my question? Jena hated the thought that her carelessness might have caused such distress. A week ago, she wouldn’t have been so bothered by the thought. Now, as this man’s wife, she felt some measure of responsibility to read his mind. The notion was ridiculous, but present nonetheless. Just as she was clearing her throat, he spoke.
“I’m not sure what my mother thinks anymore. She didn’t take it very well when I moved back to Cordonia. Wanted me to forge my own path instead of running back to the palace.”
“Do you ever regret it?”
“Going back?” At her nod, he continued. “I had a lot of questions at the time, but in a way, mom’s right. I’d been following Liam around for so long that it was easier to just settle back into that when I came back from the States. It took me a while to find where I belonged in all of it. But no, I don’t regret it. Cordonia is home.”
“You’ve found your way now. And with or without the courtly graces, you’re still Drake Walker,” she beamed encouragingly. “I just wish your mom had taken the chance to get to who that man is.” A fresh sting of remorse accompanied the words, and she looped her fingers around the hand that rested beside her on the fence.
Drake interlocked his fingers with her own and lifted his face tentatively. “I think I’d like for her to get the chance to.”
Her pulse quickened at the meaning that underpinned his words. Biting her tongue, she shifted her weight toward him and took in his pensive expression.
“I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He hiked a hand through his hair. “But I’m not sure I’d ever forgive myself if I cut the relationship off completely. I’d always wonder if things could have been different. I’m not saying that I want to come out here for Christmases or anything, but--” preoccupied, he ceased speaking as she squeezed his hand.
“I’ll support whatever you choose, Drake. I can’t say I have a very good first impression of her, but I respect how much she means to you. If I had any hope of my dad changing for the better, I’d probably make the same choice.” Her tone grew wistful at the impossible notion. “But I think we’re going to have to find a compromise. I don’t want you bending over backward to make her a part of our lives if she won’t even meet you halfway. You can’t do that to yourself, Drake.”
“Agreed.”
“So she’s going to have to understand that there are boundaries she can’t cross. It’s going to take some time for us to establish trust again.”
“Sounds fair to me,” he considered, stroking her knuckles with his thumb as he looked to her face. “She’s been through a lot, Jena. I don’t want to put her through more than she deserves.”
“I know,” she responded quickly to the flash of pain in his eyes. “But if she puts you through more than you deserve, she’ll have me to contend with.” Although her tone was light, they both knew that the threat was genuine.
He hoisted himself onto the fence beside her, dropping his hands to his sides. “I never thought I’d be so happy to get back to Valtoria, but I’m really looking forward to it.”
She offered a wry smile. “I am too. I know we’re going to try to work things out here, but I can’t wait to get back to Dallas and then home.”
“It’s the last night of our trip, Wittman. How do you want to spend it?”
“Seeing as it’s the last night of our honeymoon,” she emphasized, “I was thinking room service, hot tub, and…some drinks.”
“Now that’s a plan I can get behind.”
“I’m not going overboard though. We’ve got a day full of traveling tomorrow.”
“We’ll sleep it off on the plane.”
“Maybe you will," she joked, hopping down from the fence. “I’ll be awake for it all.”
“Even if I keep you up all night?”
Jena threw him a look over her shoulder. "That didn’t exactly work for the trip out here." He extended a hand toward her and she settled into the space between his legs, running her palms against toned thighs that were stretched taut from his heels pressing into the lower rail.
"I’ll take that as a challenge.” The glint in his eyes sent tendrils of heat through her core.
“Just keeping you on your toes, Walker.”
Drake shook his head at her accompanying wink.
“Ready when you are,” she announced, rising to the tips of her toes. Drake cradled her cheek in his hand and leaned into the kiss. His lips were soft and warm, heated by the morning sun. She snaked her arms around his waist and melted into him with pleasure. When she finally pulled away, it took several moments for her head to clear.
The kiss told her all she needed to know. They would make it through this. Together.
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I’ve spent the last almost year trying to do things the way I should have been doing them all along. I did it in the hope that he’d notice and realize that if he just tried a little, we could work this out. It’s not that he hasn’t noticed, I think he has. But he doesn’t actively acknowledge it, and even downplays it if I mention it.
I’ve been everything from hopeful - because I can usually see that I do think he still loves me - to suicidal - at times like Christmas, when I just didn’t see him at all. And then he tells me “what happened” and I don’t know that it really is what happened, but it seems reasonable enough that the family plans just changed and that he really did intend to come over in the evening, and I remind myself that one of the things I should not have been doing all this time was not trusting, and overreacting, and so I forgive and I see hope again. Mostly, I’ve thought that eventually, he’ll realize that whatever he’s doing now isn’t so great. Mostly, I’ve thought that he’d miss me and want to come home. And I think he does, at least sometimes, but I also think maybe he’s too stubborn.
He told me once that he had done things in our marriage to get a reaction out of me. When I asked him about it, asked him what, he cited the times that he’d stayed out late, and said he’d done it just to prove a point. So now I often wonder if he’s doing this just to prove a point. I often wonder if I’m being punished. Early on - and in the past as well - I’ve read so many things (and still do often, although I avoid this kind of shit) that said that in order to get someone back, get their attention, you have to ignore them, do your own thing, show them how fine you are your own, even if you are not. I personally feel as if that is a bunch of manipulative bullshit and it also feels like something that could backfire terribly.
In fact, there was one time when I’d told him I didn’t think I could talk to him for a while. I was upset and somehow had the presence of mind to realize that I was rife to say the wrong thing. I knew if I did not actually tell him that I couldn’t talk to him for a while, I would anyway, and I’d say ... something regrettable.
Later - a while later, maybe a few months later - he brought that up. As if it were hurtful. And I knew in that moment that any sort of very intentional “ghosting” would have been a sign of disloyalty to him. So I’ve spent this time trying to rebuild his image of me. He’s said that, for him, the bad outweighed the good, or overshadowed it. His memory is not great, and rather short, so it’s been my hope that eventually, he’d have such a hard time remembering the bad (and already he is unable to cite any specifics) and as he looked back, would only think of the nice things I’d said and done.
I don’t intend to quit doing that, or go out of my way to not speak to him. But I do feel like maybe I’ve reached a cooling off period. It’s not that I can’t spend every weekend hoping that this will be the one in which he comes home, or waiting to see if he’ll agree to hang out with me for a few hours after not seeing each other for a few months. Those hopes are all that have kept me going. But... everytime I invite him and he puts me off, doesn’t have time, even though he has time for other people and things, even though I feel like he’s telling himself that he shouldn’t see me because he does still love me, and he doesn’t want me to “get my hopes up” ... it hurts. I’ll still invite, I suppose, but I won’t plan on him showing up only to have him not.
I guess at this point, I have told myself that I can’t really expect him to ever come back. Maybe he will, but more than likely, I’ll spend the rest of my life alone, without him.
And knowing that, I can’t spend much more time in stasis, waiting around. I need to get things done. I need to fix our house and ... I don’t know. Do something. A number of things have crossed my mind. Music, riding, I don’t know. A lot of it seems like a big commitment when I have work and I want to work on the house. But I do hope that after this great show of faith and trust and loyalty, that now is organically the right time to step back. I don’t know that he’ll notice or care.
I realized the other day though, that when I was younger and what I wanted and needed when I thought about my life wasn’t him - I didn’t even know him then (although to be fair I think I just assumed that there would be someone in my life and so this wasn’t something I’d have to “want” or “need”) - it was a house, a stable place to live, a home, and...as much as it feels much less like home without him, and as much as I understand how he feels about this house and the work that it needs, I have what I need. We own this house, I can’t imagine living anywhere else right now. And I have a car and enough money and so I guess I have to settle for that and figure it out.
What do they say? “ A girl can dream...”? I can, but it seems pretty pointless now.
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A New Place to Call Home
Hybrid AU
Namjoon x Reader
Masterlist
You were sleeping so peacefully, when someone nudged your shoulder, startling you awake and away from them on instinct, until you realized it was just Youngjae, who worked at the shelter you lived at.
“Y/n, you have a visitor. He’s asked for someone like you. Would you like to meet him?” His voice was soothing as you nodded your head, hopefully about to meet your newest owner. See, the shelter you were at, was designed for hybrids, like yourself, who had previously been in a bad home. The workers made sure that those who adopted from them wouldn’t mistreat the hybrids.
Youngjae left you alone for a minute, so you could change and prepare yourself for the new person. As a bunny hybrid, you were naturally shy, but even more so after your last owner abused you, physically and mentally. Stepping out of your room, you walked to the cafeteria, where you would meet the guy Youngjae talked about.
Before you saw them however, Jinyoung and Jaebum, the only two cat hybrids of the shelter, stopped you. They stood in front of you.
“So. Youngjae told us he has potentially found you a new owner. Are you gonna be okay? Or do you want us there with you for moral support?” Jaebum asked, making you smile at his over protectiveness.
“No, I think I’ll be fine. If I need anything, I’ll just come running to you two after Youngjae. That’s if something bad happens. But, I’ve gotta go.” You gave them each a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, before they left to the other side of the room.
Youngjae was talking to another guy, presumably the one who wanted to meet you. He was tall, and when he smiled there were dimples, which were cute.
“Ah! Y/n, come here sweetheart.” Youngjae caught sight of you, before ushering you over to him. “Y/n, this is Namjoon. He’s looking to adopt right now. Namjoon, this is Y/n. She tends to get shy with new people.” You had clung to Youngjae while he talked, still hesitant about him. “Oh, and please be careful what you say. And try to not raise your voice if something is wrong. She’s dealt with enough of that for an entire lifetime.”
“Go on.” Youngjae urged you forward and away from him, as he took leave of you two, giving you privacy.
“H-hi.” You gave him a small, shy smile, one which he returned.
“Hi there.” My god, those dimples would be the death of you. The two of you made small talk, you learning all about him as you gave him simple answers. You learned he was a lawyer, and that he went to work at 8 am, and came around 6:30 and 7 pm. He didn’t work weekends, unless it was a big case. He preferred to stay in most nights, and was really clumsy. “I think that’s the most I’ve talked about myself in a very long time.” He says with a laugh, before his face turns serious. “So, how would you like to come and stay with me? A permanent new home? You can come home with e today even, if you’d like.” He was so hopeful, and he seemed pretty nice after all.
You nod your head while saying, “Yes.” A smile spread across your face, once you realized you agreed to a new place to call home. One that would actually be a loving and caring home. He nearly picked you up to spin you around, but decided better of it, before bringing his hands to his mouth, and grinning even harder if that were possible.
He went over to Youngjae, you following behind him, as he told him he wanted to go ahead and sign the adoption papers and to take you home today.
“Awesome. If you’ll just sign right here, I will show you to her room, so she can get her things, and then you are free to take her home.” He was smiley as always, making you feel better about leaving the shelter.
“Namjoon, I could still come back here, right? To see Youngjae and the others?” You really hoped he said yes, you would miss never being able to talk to Youngjae, Jinyoung, or Jaebum again. They became your best friends while you’ve been here.
“Of course we can. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t let you come back to see your friends?” He smiled at you as the two of you followed Youngjae, before lightly ruffling your hair, fingertips grazing your ear, making you shiver.
“Ah, here we are.” Youngjae stopped in front of your room, and you walked in, grabbed the few clothes you had, and gave them to Namjoon.
“Here. This is all I really have here. Oh, and this.” You grabbed your two journals and pens/pencils. But you kept a hold of them. You didn’t want anyone else seeing what you’ve drawn. Clutching them close to your chest, Namjoon held your hand as Youngjae led you and Namjoon outside.
“Well Y/n, I guess this is good-bye. You’ll always have a place here, should you ever need to come back. I’ll miss you short-stack.” He had a sad smile on his face as he ruffled your hair, before lightly rubbing the base of your ears. Your eyes closed as you leaned into his touch. He was the one person, apart from Jinyoung or Jaebum, that you would let touch your ears, as they were very sensitive.
Your eyes opened when he stopped, and you had missed the face of longing Namjoon had, which disappeared the moment your eyes opened.
“Well, let’s head on home. Gotta get you some clothes later today, that way we can relax the rest of the weekend. See ya later, Youngjae.” Though you were saddened as you watched the shelter disappear from your sight, you were excited at the thought of a new home. Namjoon was very gentle as he led the way home, but also letting you look and sniff around at all the new sights. As you turned one last corner, he stopped in front of a very nice building. It was apartments, but they were obviously nice. He put a code in on the keypad, and then there was the audible sound of the door unlocking. He opened the door, and then went to an elevator, quickly pressing the button. Stepping in, you glanced down, and realized he hadn’t stopped holding your hand the entire way there. You grinned to yourself, as movement stopped, the doors opened, revealing a short hallway, where he used his key to open the door to the apartment.
It was beautiful inside. To the left was a kitchen, and straight ahead was a living room. A couch on the wall and one in front of the T.V. that was on the wall. On each side of the T.V., were windows, each with a window seat.
“C'mon. I’ll show you the rest of the place.” He smiled almost shyly as he spoke, before moving down the hallway. Your room was across from his, with a full-size bed, a desk, and another window. Then there was the closet and dresser along the same wall, across from the bed. His was set up similarly, but he didn’t have a window. Then he had a guest room, and the bathroom across from said room. At the end of the hallway was a washer and dryer.
“This is so pretty. Thank you so much.” You turned and gave him a hug, nuzzling your face up into his neck. When you pulled away, his cheeks were bright red.
“It’s nothing much, really.” He mumbled. “So,” he cleared his throat, “would you like to go shop for some clothes now?”
“Sure. But can it wait a bit? I’m a little hungry. I haven’t had lunch yet.” After a delicious lunch, with him tripping and nearly dropping it as well, the two of you went to different stores and bought you some new clothes. All the pants had a hole for your tail, as well as the hats for your ears. By the time you got home, it was time for dinner, and you were flat-out exhausted. Sitting on the couch, you slightly curled up, creating warmth as you waited for Namjoon.
As he called out, he didn’t get a response from you, so he was shocked to find you curled up and asleep on the couch. Smiling softly, he went to you, before picking you up, laughing to himself as you nuzzled into him, before he took you to your room and tucking you in. Taking his phone out, he took a quick picture of you laying there all snuggled up to a pillow, before halfway closing the door and going to bed himself.
Over the course of the next few months, Namjoon had been nothing but kind and caring to you. Always making sure you were okay, and during this time, you were finally comfortable enough with him, that he was shocked the day you brought his hand up to your ears, a silent offer to pet them. Since then, he had taken a lot of opportunities to rub your ears, knowing now that it would help you sleep at night. Along with being cuddled by him. Everything was wonderful. Until this one day…
“Joonie! You’re back!!” You ran up to him, capturing him in a hug. He hadn’t been home much the past few weeks, as he had a very important case to work on. He was gone early in the mornings and gone until late at night.
“Y/n.” He gave you a tight lipped smile, making you tilt your head in confusion.
“Joonie? What’s wrong? Please tell me I didn’t do anything to make you angry with me and that’s the cause for your not being home.” You knew he had to work, but your insecurities came tumbling out, as you let out a squeak, realizing what you just said.
“Y/n, just stop for once, ok? I feel like I’m suffocating with how you’ve been hovering over me. I get it. You’re worried and all. But do you think you could tone it down a bit?”
Lowering your head, you mumbled out, “Ok. Good night Namjoon.” You kept your head low as you walked back to your room. You didn’t have the energy to slam it shut like you wanted to, but you did lock it.
You grabbed your little journal, and made an entry for the night.
*I waited up for Joonie. He hasn’t been home early lately. But I hover over him and suffocate him. Or so he says tonight. So, I guess I’ll stop with waiting up for him. And sleeping with him. Unless he explicitly asks, I just won’t do anything to ‘suffocate’ him. Well, I guess that’s all for now.*
After closing your journal, you climb into bed, hugging your oversized teddy bear close, drifting off to sleep.
—————————————————————
For the next week or so, you stopped randomly cuddling with Namjoon on the couch, instead opting to curl in on yourself with your head resting on the arm rest. You wouldn’t greet him at the door, and you’d begun to hide away in your room. He didn’t particularly seem to care about any of that, so you did it more often than not.
—————————————————-
Namjoon had finally finished the long case he’d been working on for weeks now, and felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders. He couldn’t wait to get home to you and snuggle. He sighed just from imagining it. As he stepped foot into the apartment, he noticed it didn’t seem lively like normal.
“Hey, Bunbun, I’m home!” He called out, hoping to entice you to come running to him like normal. He was met with silence, and that’s when he began to worry. You would always come meet him. He made his way through the apartment, checking each room til he came to yours. There you were, lying there, fast asleep, with Jimin next to you. Jimin was a cat-hybrid that lived across the hallway. Jimin had sat up when he walked in, and when he tried getting closer, he actually hissed at him!
“What’s up with you? I’ve never heard you hiss before.”
“Well I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t make her cry.”
“Woah woah, when did I make her cry? And why?” He was beyond confused, but saddened at the thought of you crying because of him!
“You apparently told her to, and I quote, ‘Tone down the hovering. It feels as though I’m suffocating.’ That is what you told my sweet little bunny. Have you been so busy, that you don’t have time for her? That you don’t even remember what you say to her? You know how sensitive she is. Anything you say, will affect her. Now leave, she needs to sleep right now. She spent the last hour crying to me after I came over when she called me.” Jimin huffed, and cuddled back up to you, making you nuzzle your nose into him, your small little tail wiggling in your sleep. He left the room, shutting the door behind him, and went to sit on the couch, contemplating how this came to be.
——————————————————-
“Hey little bunny. Wake up.” Jimin’s soft voice woke you from a very peaceful nap. Still half-asleep, you clung onto him, mumbling a 'five more minutes’, making him giggle cutely. “No my little bunny. You need to get up. One because I have to go back to my home for dinner, but two because you’ve got a visitor. And he really wants to talk to you. Also, you can literally smell how bad he feels. You should go talk to him.”
“Ugh, alright. But if I really want you to, can you come back over after dinner? If I really wanted you over here for the night?” You stared while pouting lightly, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.
“Fine, yes. But only if you don’t like what he says after all this.” He groaned, with you pumping your fist upwards in victory.
“Yes! But okay. You go on out, tell him I’ll be out shortly, ok?” You gave him one last, long hug, before he disappeared through your open doorway.
————————————————————
“She’ll be down shortly. Don’t go in there. Let her come to you. Also, I might come back over if she really wants me to. I just have to tell Hobi and Yoongi.” His owners were pretty easy going, as they were close friends with Namjoon, so it wouldn’t be a big deal for him to come and spend the night. Used to happen all the time until you got comfortable around him.
Ugh, why did he have to be such an idiot and say those things. If only-
“Hey.” You had finally come out after some contemplation.
“Bunbun, hey. I need to apologize to you.” He grabbed your hand, guiding you to sit down beside him.
“Listen. I am so sorry to you Bunbun. I had been so stressed out, work was hectic. And I know that’s no excuse for what I said to you. But it started a chain reaction. I wanted to work as much as possible to get out from under all of it, to try and do it fast. Since I brought my work home with me, I never really had a break. I am so sorry for how I treated you. Will you ever forgive me?” He pleaded, and you stared at him.
“Okay.” You finally muttered after some time. His face lit up it was almost blinding.
“Okay? So all is forgiven?”
“Yes.” All it took was that one word confirmation for him to hug you, one hand resting at the back of your head, the other on your back. You felt him hold back on rubbing your ears, and you grabbed his hand and brought it to your ear, a silent offering he happily took. You were then practically purring, content to finally have things back to normal. Or, as normal as it could be with the both of you.
#namjoon#kim namjoon#namjoon x reader#kim namjoon x reader#hybrid au#hybrid!reader#bts#bts x reader#got7#got7 x reader#jinyoung#jaebum#youngjae#bts scenarios#namjoon x hybrid reader#hybrid#au#bts au#hoseok#jung hoseok#jimin#park jimin#hybrid park jimin#hybrid jimin#yoongi#min yoongi#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#namjoon fic
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AU where jack is a librarian and bitty accidentally studies
jack loves books. bitty hates studying.
but bitty needs to try something, bc whatever hes doing now is not working, and finals are coming up, so he thinks maybe if he gets some silence and solitude things he needs to know will start sticking
so he goes to the library and lo and behold theres an adonis behind the counter with a pencil tucked behind his ear as he intently reads a biography on Joan of Arc. bitty hears his conscience speak to him in beyonces voice, telling him that this boy is his
but hes a nervous wreck now that he knows theres someone hot here so yeah hes definitely not getting any studying done
except the cute boy doesnt even look up, and bitty remembers that hes probably straight anyway because thats the way the universe likes to be, so he keeps his head down and makes his way to an empty table (but he chooses one that keeps the cute boy in sight, and he isnt sure if thats because he is a masochist or isnt one)
he does his best to vibe this guy, who only looks up from his book when someone comes to check out or ask for the bathroom key, and bitty decides that hes gotta play it cool. that boy likes knowledge, so bitty will have to pretend that he also likes knowledge and isnt absolutely boy crazy, so he opens his textbook and gets down to business, hoping that that cute boy will look over at least and notice how studious this southern young man is
and almost three hours passes where bitty actually studies. he looks at his phone and realizes what hes just tricked himself into doing. he checks back on the cute boy, who is looking at him holy hell it was only for a second and then he quickly looked at his book again and relax eric relax he was probably just zoned out and happened to be staring at your face but maybe he could also sense how good you are at making pies and is deciding whether or not your boyfriend material
its already been three hours, but bitty definitely cannot leave now that developments are taking place
but its only fifteen more minutes before someone else shows up and takes the cute boys place behind the desk. the cute boy walks into the back and comes back with a jacket slung over his shoulder. “see ya, chris,” he says, and bitty wonders if hes being loud enough for his voice to carry on purpose, and when cute boy leaves, bittles insides all start screaming and he wonders if hes being blessed or punished because that boy must do squats or something.
bitty plays it cool for another half hour after that, because he cant look like he was only here because that cute boy was, but hes really only on twitter now. then he packs up his bag and spends the entire walk back to his room thinking about the moment he glanced up and the cute boy glanced down.
and he comes back the next day. bittle may play the slow game, but he has to see where this is going. day one, a glance, and maybe if hes really lucky, by day two he might get a pleasant “good afternoon. welcome to the library.”
he doesnt. he walks right in and sits in the same spot as yesterday, and the cute boy is reading the same book, but bitty tries to keep his face controlled, because this time cute boy looked up as he came in, and unless bittle was reading too much into it, cute boy looked down again as though this wasnt supposed to mean anything, like that was what he wanted bitty to think, but secretly it did.
they continue like this for two weeks, and eric is blessed to discover that the cute boy works a four hour shift every single day. which means theres never a day bittle has to miss out on seeing his sculpted-by-the-gods face.
and then valentines day rolls around.
bitty wonders what in the world am i doing so often while he bakes on february 14th that he knows he has lost any semblance of self-control
he walks into the library thinking the exact same thing, and of course, theres the cute boy, who has moved on to reading an account of the cuban vie for independence from spain, and for the first time, bitty actually approaches the counter
“um, hi,” he says, slightly breathless from the cold, and the cute boy looks up and smiles and says “hi” back. bitty has to ignore his pounding heart and continue on with the words hes been rehearsing since he turned the oven on.
“so, ive been spending a lot of time in the library recently, and i bake a lot, and since today is valentines day, i thought it would be nice to make these cookies for everyone today, so would it be alright if i left these on the counter and people sort of just... helped themselves if they wanted one? i made a card to”
bitty reaches into the basket and holds up a card designed by his friend lardo that reads “happy valentines day! please take one (1)”
the cute boys smile widens, and he says, “yeah. wow, they look great!”
after all the work bitty put into making them, they damn well better. he hasnt worked this hard on a batch of cookies since he campaigned for ninth grade class president. still, he cant help but turn as pink as the frosting on them when the first thing this boy ever says to him is a compliment on his baking.
“its nothin’” says bitty, setting the basket down and stuffing his mittens into his pockets
the cute boy latches onto bittys damnable accent and asks with interest “where are you from?”
“oh, georgia”
“nice. im jack, im from montreal.” he sticks out his hand and bittys suddenly clams up with sweat. oh no this cant be a horrible first handshake, it needs to be warm and nice
bitty decides he has to keep the mitten on, though, because that could be considered cute, right? sweat definitely couldnt. “eric,” he says, and doesnt allow himself to think about the fact that hes just put a bright red mitten in an adonis’s hand. they both seem to be running out of charm, though, so bitty muddles through
“um, they might be a little frozen from the walk over, but they should be good in a few minutes,” he says, then scurries over to his table because two weeks is way too soon to start talking
he distracts himself with literature homework to try to forget what a darn fool he just made himself out to be, but he cant completely tune out the rustling coming from the front desk as jack makes a careful display out of bittles basket and card, even allowing it to block the laminated sign warning patrons the repercussions of keeping overdue books.
a few more students trickle in, and a couple of them go for the basket, and Professor Whitmond tromps in with his two grandkids, who leave covered in powder and sprinkles, but bitty exercises all of his willpower to block it out because he cant believe he did this
but he also wonders if jack is going to take a cookie. hes obsessed with the thought of it. he needs jack to eat one of those cookies and realize that bittle is not just a pretty face. bittles entire body is on high alert, praying for it.
and then it happens. jack reaches into the basket, pulls out a cookie, and takes a bite. bittle thinks, checkmate.
he notices jack glance over at him, and bittle is now confident enough that he chances a bright smile. those cookies are good. they would never have made it out of his kitchen if they werent his best.
jack points at the cookie, his expression one of utter astonishment, and mouths, these are amazing.
bitty raises an eyebrow. i know.
jack makes another expression of astonishment, then waves bitty to go back to his studying. bitty pretends to, but really, hes wondering if bringing in a batch of cookies every friday would be too much.
(he does it anyway)
fridays become the staple of his relationship with jack. bittle brings in a basket of cookies, jack says something that makes bittle wonder if hes flirting or teasing, and bittle feels satisfaction drop into his gut as jack helps himself to the first of the bunch. there has never been a day where every cookie is not eaten.
and then jack changes the schedule. bitty comes in on friday with his usual basket, and jack says, “Eric. I had a question.” and bittles heart starts thumping in its stupid, traitorous way, and jack continues, “About these cookies...” and bitty thinks, oh great, theyre too much, hes only been pretending to like them for my benefit, enough is enough, “Would you mind making me a batch to send to Montreal? My parents want to try them.”
and bittys mind goes completely blank. Something about the way Jack says it completely straight throws bitty off guard. Because, yeah, hes caught on to the fact that Jack can be a bit socially awkward, but this definitely takes the proverbial cake.
“Your parents?” asks Bittle. “How do they know about my cookies?”
“I told them,” says jack, as if its obvious. “We call every friday night, and I always talk about your cookies.”
Bitty’s mind hurriedly re-writes his knowledge of the past few weeks to include the fact that Jack From The Library Has Been Speaking To His Parents About His Cookies And Now Jack’s Parents (IN MONTREAL!) Want To Eat Them.
“So, would that be too weird?” asks Jack.
“Not at all!” says Bitty, laughing slightly because hes terrified. “I can bring some in tomorrow if youd like!”
Its only when Jack smiles that Bitty feels relieved, like hes successfully navigated a minefield correctly. “Thatd be great!” says Jack. “I’ll pay you, if you want, to cover the cost of the ingredients-”
Bitty waves him away. “That’s not necessary, Jack, I’d love to.”
he goes to his seat and cuts his study time in half because he cant stop freaking out about making baked goods for jacks parents, who have never met him, and need to decide within their first taste whether bittle has any worth in their sons life
hes up half the night, and it definitely shows on his face when he brings into the library the next day. all he wants to do is say get them out of my sight.
jack accepts them with a confused look on his face, thanks bittle as bittle marches to his table and begins spreading out his books
oh yeah, and bitty has been getting weirdly good grades since all this started?? it turns out that bi-weekly flirting is the perfect reward for someone who needs to study more. his test scores have gone up dramatically, and even his GPA has gotten a modest boost.
thats only the secondary goal here, though, his real goal has always been getting jack to notice him
for three days, including baking night, bittle sleeps horribly, angsting over what jacks parents - whoever they even are - will think of his cookies. on monday, he gets his answer
“Eric!” jack greets as bittle walks into the library. hes smiling wide. “ive been told to tell you that youre moving to montreal to become my parents’ personal dessert chef.”
relief smacks into bitty like a forty-pound fist. he feels slightly whoozy. “they liked them?” he repeats.
jack just stares at him. “Eric. Have you ever had one of your cookies before.”
“No, I mean, well, yes, obviously I have, but it’s just that I’m always worried whenever new people try them that they’ll hate them, and since baking is the only thing I’m really good at, it’s important to me that people, you know, like my stuff.”
“Eric,” Jack says, for what feels like the thousandth time. “Everything you make is incredible. And baking isn’t all you’re good at. You study like a champion.” He offers Eric a fist bump.
Eric takes it for what it is, a sign of friendship, as he belatedly registers that Jack just called his baking skills amazing. Even if the boy is straight, he knows how to play Eric like a fiddle. And Eric is just gone enough to let it happen.
spring weather is finally setting in, and bitty starts to think about just how many days hes spent in the library this year, all so he can gawk at a boy he doesnt have a chance with. all this time, and he couldve been actually out there looking for someone who will genuinely be with him and make him happy.
he stops going to the library on a tuesday. by friday, he feels bad because the people on campus have come to expect his cookies every week, and he owes it to them to keep their stomachs satisfied with finals approaching. he makes a batch, not knowing what hes going to say to jack, or if jack will even care that bitty has been out by the pond enjoying his afternoons with his friends instead of hanging out inside.
he walks in with his basket, and jack seems to look both relieved and slightly cross. “Eric,” he says, because thats all he ever says. “You haven’t been here.”
Bitty shrugs. “I made cookies,” he says, and offers Jack the basket.
Jack’s brow furrows. “Is something wrong?” he asks.
“No,” says Bitty, which, because he doesn’t know what on Earth he’s feeling, is almost the truth.
Somewhat stunned into silence, Jack accepts the basket Bitty offers him and watches Bitty leave again. Bitty walks until he’s out of sight of the library, then sits on the nearest bench and wipes his eyes. He’s being ridiculous. There was literally never even anything between him and Jack. It was all made up in Bitty’s head, a fabrication based on a few standard conversations and lies garnered by baked goods. Maybe Bitty is crying because he’s such a fool. Why did he waste so much time on a needless fantasy? What was wrong with him.
“Well,” he mumbles to himself, standing. “At least your grades went up.”
this is the part where he looks up, hoping that jack might have followed him and was now waiting, out of breath, to say something meaningful and restore all of bitty’s hopes. but the sidewalk is empty, and bitty is left exactly like normal--creating a version of jack that doesnt exist based on the picture he has in his head
he goes back at the end of the day, when he knows jack will be gone, to collect his cookie basket from the library. a boy named chris hands it to him. “yeah, thanks for bringing these in today!” says chris. “the guy i work with seemed kinda down, so i think he needed a pick me up. i mean, he said that theyre for the patrons, but i got him to eat one, and i could tell he even felt better afterwards. theyre super good! i mean, i always ate them, i didnt know jack didnt, but-”
“thanks,” said bitty. he thought that if he didnt interrupt, this young man would never have stopped talking. “er, thats sweet of you.”
so for three weeks, bitty only comes in on fridays to drop off cookies. he and jack dont say a lot to each other. but as bittys mood steadily improves, jacks mood steadily worsens.
im healing, bitty thinks as he walks in on the third friday. that wasnt healthy, eric, it was sensible to get out of that.
“hey jack,” he says happily, setting the basket of cookies on the counter. “special delivery.”
jack squints at him for a moment, with a smile that seems more like a grimace. “thanks,” is all he says. he says it in a very particular way. flat. thanks.
bitty’s brow furrows. he thinks about asking, but he grew up in the hospitable south, where the popular motto was let everyone get on with their own business or get cussed out for pryin’. “um. youre welcome.”
he almost walks out, then shouts screw it! in his mind and turns around. “are you mad or somethin’?”
jack looks up as though feigning ignorance. all the lines on his face look hard. he sighs. “no, eric. its nothing to worry about. thanks for the cookies.”
“because my mama used to teach me lessons in passive aggressive bullshit when i used her pan sheets without askin’.”
“its nothing. its me. have a good day.”
“only she never tried to brush me off when i wanted to talk to her about it.”
jack considers him. “you dont come into the library anymore,” he admitted. “im not mad at you, im just... grumpy.”
bitty has to fight hard to keep his heart bolted down. he misses his friend, he tells himself. do. not. read. into. it.
“Oh,” says Bitty. “I, um. I didn’t mean to make you upset. Er. Have you been reading anything good recently?”
jack defrosts a little and they have a nice conversation about the true crime novel jacks gotten into. bitty feels a little bad for ghosting him, and maybe he misjudged things a little by saying there was nothing there, because hey certainly got along well, but he wasnt naive enough to think there was any use kidding himself about something romantic.
by the end of it, jacks laughing, and eric finds it in himself to giggle along too, and it feels like a nice resolution. maybe you cant have it all, eric thinks, but you can have this.
he bids jack goodbye, feeling better about the whole mess, glad that he said something.
at the end of the day, chris returns bittys basket, and bitty cant help but ask how jack was today. all chris says is, “Glowing.”
For the first time, bitty and jack run into each other outside the library. theyre at the campus coffee shop, perhaps both gearing up for finals week, and jack is leaving just as bitty is entering.
“Eric,” says Jack, genuinely smiling. Bitty’s smile is also completely real.
“Jack.”
“It’s weird, but it just kind of clicked for me that you’re a real person,” says Jack, then makes a soft face of pain. “I mean, obviously you’re a real person, but I’d only ever seen you at the library before. Now that we’re somewhere else-”
“I get it,” bitty assures him. “Are you working there next year, too?”
Jack shrugs. “Who knows? I’d like to, but someone with work-study might take my place. I’m always getting yelled at for reading when I should be re-shelving books. And I get cookie dust all over the counter on Fridays.”
Blushing, Eric says, “That is entirely your fault and no one else is responsible for that.”
“Not at all.” He’s still smiling, which Bitty thinks is ridiculous. “Are you doing anything right now?”
Bitty gestures to the line ahead of him. “Buying coffee,” he says.
“Anything else?” Jack clarifies. Bitty shakes his head. “I’ll wait with you. We can sit down and drink it together.”
He has to know what he’s doing, Bitty thinks. Once again, blind hope fills his chest and Bitty says, “Sure. That’d be nice.”
by the time their cups are drained, theyre too deep in conversation to move. when a pause comes, however, jack clears his throat. “Um. Actually. Eric. I, um, just wanted to clarify something, because I think I didn’t before.”
Bitty sighs dramatically. “I knew it. You’re using me because your parents want more cookies.”
Jack’s laugh is music for Bitty’s soul. “They seriously have not stopped asking about you since I sent those cookies. I didn’t know what to say to them when you stopped coming to the library.”
Bitty turns a little quieter. “Sorry about that,” he says. not because he feels sorry for not going, but because hes sorry that jack was hurt because of it.
“It’s okay, Eric, really,” Jack says, and hes so earnest that bitty believes he means it. “Anyway, what I wanted to say was, I think I didn’t clarify that when I asked you to sit down. You know. With our coffees. I sort of intended that to be. You know. Asking you out for coffee. Because I think you’re great.”
Bitty’s heart starts beating triple-time. His eyes turn to saucer plates. “This entire time, I was trying so hard to convince myself that you would never be into me!” he all but shouts. “I couldn’t deal with having a crush on a straight boy so I avoided the library like the plague.”
Jack blinks. “I never told you I was straight, Eric.” It’s not a reprimand, but it also totally is. Bitty puts his head in his hands.
“I thought I was being a fool for one thing,” he says, “but I was being a fool for something else entirely. I am so sorry, Jack.”
“You could make it up to me by letting me buy your coffee next time.”
Eric peeks at him through the gaps in his fingers. “Don’t try to fool me into thinking you’re smooth, Mr. Zimmermann. I know you too well.”
#what even is bittys name why does he have so many good luck following that#zimbits#zimbits au#thats all i got on this one otherwise i will be literally incapable of shutting the fuck up and this will go on far longer than anyone wants#(it already has done that tho)#eric bittle#jack zimmermann#omgcp#check please#library au#fuck you this is 3k words ive spent two hours on it im not proofreading deal with it
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♡ the super sweet @helianthical tagged me (forever ago lol) for this! tysm! ♡
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THE LAST:
1. Drink: water! 2. Phone call: i checked my phone and it was my mom 3. Text message: checked as well, my last message was from @poking-dimples 4. Song you listened to: my moms playing the radio out back and i can hear it from the front of the house so the song currently playing is katy perry’s wide awake?? i think thats the name 5. Time you cried: last night cause i was really upset lol
HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no njasnfjka i cant stand alcohol to the point even talking to people about it makes me uncomfortable
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: light grey, pastels, white
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!! ♡ 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lol
GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 99%. i dont accept people i dont know irl unless theyre close internet friends (aka just @moonske) 23. Do you have any pets: i currently have 5 cats (2 are foster cats) and 1 dog ♡♡ 24. Do you want to change your name: full name, yeah. my nickname, no. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i cant really remember?? i think we went down to the beach and just hung out at my house lmaoo. thats usually what we do for my birthday since the beach is free. 26. What time did you wake up: i woke up at 7am because of an alarm but i didnt have nything to do for the day so i passed out until 10:53 when i just woke up 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: washing my face and applying aloe lotion to my sunburn 28. Name something you can’t wait for: all the music thats going to come out within the next few weeks im so pumped!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: maybe 10 minutes ago? i saw her ordering dinner and then she went to the backyard to finish burning stuff in the fire pit 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didnt procrastinate so much 31. What are you listening right now: a person playing a game on youtube because the idle sound of others talking helps me focus. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have 2 uncles name tom and i used to have a good friend from elementary names tom but he always pinched me 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that i keep putting off my summer rope stuff 34. Most visited Website: probably youtube and then tumblr even though ive been pretty absent lately
LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME
35. Mole/s: yeah ive got quite a few and i have a super raised one on my neck but its not an issue 36. Mark/s: yeah! most recently i busted up my knee from the lake so theres lots of scratches and cuts on my left knee and i also have uncountable freckles and just recently got a lot more across my nose and cheeks from sunburn. i also have some scars and birthmarks 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be- very specifically, my mom can verify- a part-time teacher, part-time pharmacist lmaooo 38. Haircolor: its just brown. 39. Long or short hair: its shorter i guess??? its like-when straight and if you pull it taunt to see the actual length- just past my shoulders 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope. 41. What do you like about yourself: i like how im really accepting of people and that when i have negative thoughts about people based on first appearance i feel bad and try to correct myself from thinking so negatively about people before i even know them 42. Piercings: the basic earlobes 43. Bloodtype: O+!! i found out after donating blood at school. the red cross sent me a thank you letter and it had a card with my blood information on it so i can keep it on me! i was really excited ajskfnajk im excited to be 17 so i can sign up for the blood donation red cross app so i can donate more often too! 44. Nickname: sav. my parents still call me vanna sometimes 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: leo 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: twd, untold stories of the er, theres probably more but i cant remember any :( 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or left hand: right handed?? is that what this means lmao 51. Surgery: i got my tonsils removed when i was really young but thats it 52. Hair dyed in different color: the only (basic) colors my hair hasnt been is orange, white, and grey. 53. Sport: i never was on a team or anything but my mom encouraged me to sign up for baseball when i was younger because i had a really good arm where is question 54 ajsbfjkasfnjk what the 55. Vacation: ive been to chicago a few times for a family vacation and once i went to a hotel in milwaukee 56. Pair of trainers: do i?? own trainers??? i own one pair of sneakers nd theyre actually defective
MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: dad just brought pizza home 58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: eat and then finish this 61. Waiting for: myself to finish this last batch of questions 62. Want: to finish my autobiography 63. Get married: ehhh maybe one day 64. Career: not sure..... i can only seem to think of cons for jobs id be interested in and never the pros.
WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i rlly dont like being hugged like 87% of the time but i also dont rlly like being kissed like nywhere so lmaoo 66. Lips or eyes: eyes! ♡♡♡ 67. Shorter or taller: taller.... 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: no preference 71. Sensitive or loud: no preference 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: no preference
HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah 80. Had your heart broken: not in a romantic way 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes, every time 83. Fallen for a friend: nope
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not really 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: kind of? its complicated 87. Santa Claus: no ha ha 88. Kiss in the first date: maybe??? 89. Angels: yes
OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: sammy ♡♡♡ my fkn queen shell never see this 91. Eye color: i have brown eyes 92. Favorite movie: Train to Busan, The Breakfast Club, Stand by Me, Zombieland, Hush, Alien, Schindler’s List, 28 Days/Weeks Later, Shaun of the Dead, DUFF, BGF, Mean Girls, Saving Private Ryan, Get Out, Ju:On, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hacksaw Ridge, The Ring, others....
#battery blogs#long post#tag meme#im def forgetting movies that i rlly rlly like but my memory only stretches so far#once again you dont have to do this even if you were tagged!#and if you werent tagged and youd like to do this pls pls do!!!#make sure to tag me id love to get to know more people#if you do this and i dont follow you i probably will end up following you since you spilled so much info for me lol#okay ive got 2 more tag things to do ill do those real fast
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