#he has some main hero energy without main character syndrome

[delusionaid]

STATISTICAL CHARACTER ANALYSIS: take the linked quiz from the perspective of your character, then select 5-10 results from the ‘complete matches’ list that you feel resonate with your character the most

Glenn Rhee (The Walking Dead): 89%

David Nolan (Once Upon a Time): 88%

Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings): 87%

Terry Jeffords (Brooklyn Nine-Nine): 87%

Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood): 87%

Marge Simpson (The Simpsons): 86%

Bumblebee (Transformers): 85%

Molly Weasley (Harry Potter): 84%

Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender): 84%

Luke Skywalker (Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope): 84%

Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean): 83%

tagged by: @liliavanrouge <3 tagging: @iniziare @resolutepath @daybreakrising @apocryphis @dhabibi (choose a character @ all of you!)

[theinfiknight]

Something that's really funny to me about every single player-character in the pokemon franchise is how none of them have any sort of narrative backing to them being the protagonist. Every single player-trainer is just some guy, no traumatic backstory no extraordinary motivation no nothing. In every single game without fail the other people you meet, especially your rivals, have infinitely more protagonist energy, right from the first game. Blue is the Professor's grandson and a Pokemon prodigy, if anyone would be narratively advantaged in becoming the champion it would be him rather than this random other kid with no narrative significance other than being Blue's rival. Silver is the son of goddamn Giovanni, his whole story, his angst and his resentment all scream main character way way way louder than regular everyman gold and kris, who have loving parents and nothing to prove. Barry is literally the son of a Frontier Brain! If anyone's gonna beat the elite four it's him! But no, instead it's just some nobody from twinleaf who saves the universe, befriends the Devil and defeats Cynthia besides.

N's backstory and quest could be the plot of a shounen. He's LITERALLY the Chosen One and Legendary Hero who can Talk to Pokemon. He has green hair for fucks sake!! Doesn't get much more main character than brightly colored hair!! But no, some kid from nuvema is also recognised by the other dragon and steals the center stage from him.

Hau is the grandson of a Kahuna and struggles to leave his shadow, Gladion is an emo boy with eighth grader syndrome except he's actually on the run from a massive evil organisation out to get him, and Lillie is a desperate child struggling to create an identity for herself outside of what her abusive parent forced on her, all the while hiding an infant god. All three of them could be Naruto characters in terms of their backstories but no. The random new kid from Kanto somehow sweeps them all away, solves all their problems, defeats the multiversal star dragon and saves the world. It would be like meeting Izuku in MHA and hearing everyone's stories and dreams and watching them struggle and out of nowhere some random black haired background guy swoops in and defeats All for One.

Granted, gen 3 makes you the kid of a gym leader but his name is LITERALLY Norman. He's mister normal. He even looks like an npc. Plus your rival is the Professor's kid so in terms of narrative significance they outrank you. And THAT'S not even mentioning miss Scion of a long line of dragon masters Zinnia, who for some reason is ignored by Rayquaza in favour of this random other kid who comes from a loving family, lacking nothing and facing no major difficulties in life.

It's almost ridiculous how all these anime protags end up as side characters to this generic npc looking ass dude. Hop's entire life revolves around one day becoming stronger than his brother who is also the strongest trainer in the world, Bede is an orphan from nothing who was taken in by Bill gates and then abandoned by him, Marnie literally has her hometown peeps cheering for her at every match. Arven's parents are world renowned researchers who vanished on him while his beloved partner languishes on death's door, Penny was bullied out of school and went through a whole anime arc about bonds and friends and unavoidable goodbyes and Nemona is struggling with finding a kindred spirit while being a Goku in a world full of Yamchas. Any one of them could be the main characters of a generic highschool or sports anime, but it's this random new kid who JUST got their first pokemon who solves all of their problems and saves the world. Barely in the first year of highschool and already lived through the plot of Jurassic Park and Terminator. It's like generic black haired isekai protag syndrome except it's your player character in every game.

Of course there is one notable exception to this list, which is Legends Arceus, where you are literally the heaven sent saviour, chosen by God, replete with hax isekai powers that allow you to trivialise the things that others balk to even think about. Full credits to that game though for making the entire thing very believable and more importantly, super fun.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Scanners III: The Takeover (Duguay, 1991)

To be honest I decided to watch Scanners II: The New Order on Canada Day as a bit of a joke, but now I'm glad I got through it so I could watch this, because this is kind of amazing. For one, with Liliana Komorowska, this easily has the best lead performance in the series. She plays the villain, and I'd put Michael Ironside over her in that respect, but she has as much if not more screentime than Steve Parrish, who plays the hero in this movie. And compared to Parrish, the serviceable David Hewlett in the second film, or the total void of Stephen Lack in the original, she's giving 110% and totally sinking her teeth into her character's villainy, totally unafraid to make funny faces to sell the material. And speaking as a straight man, I found her distressingly sexy. Distressingly because she was using her Scanning powers for evil. Had she used them for good, there would be no distress. Anyway, I said I'd be less thirsty in my reviews, but I lied.

She plays one half of a brother-sister Scanner duo who uses her Scanning powers to climb the corporate ladder. At the time this probably played like a gender-flipped Michael Douglas yuppie thriller, and any misogyny that could be read into this was probably taken unironically. But in retrospect, this plays like a pretty good satire of the girlboss CEO archetype. Were this to be remade (instead of the original for whatever reason), you could credibly pretend it was inspired by Elizabeth Holmes without changing too much of the screenplay. I'd like to think this is at least partially intentional as satire, because Komorowska spends a good chunk of the movie with a hilariously outdated "power" hairdo that feels like it was dug up from the '30s. She looks like Mildred Pierce of some shit. (I haven't seen Mildred Pierce. For all I know the main character has perfectly normal hair.)

One quality that I think places this closer to the original than the sequel is the way it ties the characters' exploration of their powers into the overall thrust of the movie. I think one of the challenges of what you might call Vinegar Syndrome core is that daffiness on its own can be sporadically entertaining, but needs to have shape to sustain your interest. (This was released on Blu-ray by Shout Factory, but this definitely has VS energy with its absurdist streak.) And for all the baffling things that transpire, they are pretty consistently tied to the arcs of the two leads, who are figuring out the extent of their abilities and finding new uses for them. And while no one will mistake Christian Duguay for David Cronenberg, he does imbue this with almost relentless forward momentum, staging the action scenes with athletic swerves of the camera and a great sense of timing. (For evidence of this, one need not look further than an underwater head explosion or the severed arm punchline that Letterboxd user Adam L astutely cites.) This lacks the frigid surfaces of the original that one gets with Cronenberg, but the fact that it looks like a TV movie arguably helps the daffiness pop.

[princess-of-the-corner]

requesting infodump on the LoV because they seem interesting without full context

a group of villains, some directly linked to pro heroes - does that mean they accept fallen heroes? etc etc

Okay so

I am absorbing this series through fandom osmosis and slowly reading the Canon Manga.

Which means there's some members of the LoV that I know better than others, while there's a chunk I haven't deep dived into as much because they're not fan favorites I guess?

So I'm gonna speedrun through the ones I do know specifics about! I'm also gonna do 100% Canon, not my AU stuff because tbh I roll with some changes and redemptions

All for One(AfO):

Quirk: All for One, the ability to steal Quirks from other people

Main villain, big bad motherfucker. Absolute asshole. Old as balls(or at least 100). Surprisingly very fascinating to speculate on but none of that is good for a short summary. We don't know his real first name, as he just uses his Quirk's name as his own, but his last name was 'Shigaraki'.

Tomura Shigaraki:

Quirk: Decay, things he touch will be destroyed.

Daddy Issues #1. Orignal name was Tenko Shimura. Grandson of a Hero, Nana Shimura. So you've followed the whole 'One for All passes down through users' thing? Nana was the user before All Might. Tenko's dad was kind of a dick tho basically taking his own issues out on the kids. Tenko was targeted by our Main Villian, All for One, and got 'the world's most illegal adoption' after Tenko's Quirk manifested and he accidentally killed his bio family. AfO has Stockholm Syndromed the shit out of the kid over the next fifteen years and has groomed him into being his successor(plus some other funky meta shit regarding Quirk Nonsense I barely understand).

Dabi:

Quirk: Blueflame

Daddy Issues #2! Original name was Toya Todoroki. His father is the Pro Hero Endeavor. Main character Shoto is his younger brother. There's a LOT to unpack on the entirety of the Todoroki Family Drama™ that I do not have the energy to type out. Short version: Endeavor is a fuckin asshole and abusive to the family. Toya wanted to prove his worth, but lost control in his anger and started a raging wildfire. He was presumed dead, but hey guess what? He was found by our Big Bad Villain AfO! Who tbh was probably stalking him and waiting for a recruitment opportunity because he's already done that twice already. Toya recovered somewhat, is filled with rage in part because his death seemed to mean nothing as his dad is still a dick, so he's working with the League to show the world the kind of person his dad is and then also murder him for everything he did(but also is becoming a far worse person on this revenge quest and no longer cares if his siblings get hurt or die and tbh he might also just straight up kill them too fuck it apparently.)

Himiko:

Quirk: Transform, allows the user to transform into people by consuming their blood. Also causes a bit of an obsession with blood.

Himiko's parents were incredibly disturbed by her Quirk, forcing her to behave like a 'normal' girl. She managed to suppress her morbid tendencies until middle school, when she snapped and attacked a boy she had a crush on to drink his blood. Himiko ran away, and her parents disowned her, called her a lost cause and a 'demon child' and nothing but a villain, so she embraced that fully and went very murdery. Lived on the streets for a while before finding and joining the League

Kurogiri:

Quirk: Warp Gate, a cloud of dark fog that can be used as a portal.

Kurogiri is a thing called a 'Nomu'. Basically some fucked up human experimentation. Though most of them are kinda brainless super-soldiers, Kurogiri is the only one who is like. An actual proper person still, though not quite the person he once was. Kurogiri was made out Oboro Shirakumo, a UA student who supposedly died over a decade ago. Oboro was a friend of Aizawa, Present Mic and Midnight when they were all in school together.

Honestly there's a good chunk more but I don't know as much about them without spelunking the wiki. Like I know names and Quirks but my grasp on personality and backstory are not at the point where I can ramble off the cuff when I should be trying to sleep

Re: are they open to 'fallen Heroes'

Theoretically since there's a subplot about Pro Hero Hawks infiltrating the League and pretending to be on their side while gathering info and working to take them down. Hawks is a very public Hero so they all know who he is, but I guess he convinces them that he wants to turn villain and hand over Hero secrets to them. (Some believe him, others don't)

[jonsa101]

Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson: The Well-Meaning, Incredibly Self-Centered Leading Men We’ve Grown to Love.

Hey fam! Like I said, I’ve been writing a ton of meta lately and this is another one that’s just been sitting in my drafts. It’s basically a This Is Us and a New Amsterdam meta which is something I haven’t done before but something I want do more of. In my Game of Thrones days I used to write a lot of meta about shows and characters that had similarities so this is fun for me. I hope y’all enjoy this. ALSO THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH SHOWS!!!!!!!

Without a doubt the two most popular shows on NBC is This is Us and New Amsterdam. And what’s not to love? They’re both emotionally driven, heartfelt, shows that focus on incredibly deep and complex topics. Though one show focuses on family dynamics and the other focuses on the healthcare system, these shows are very similar in more ways than one. Case in point, Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson. The more I watch these two shows, the more I realize how these two characters are so alike!!! These two men are kind-hearted, well intentioned, individuals who genuinely want to make some sort of positive difference. They are incredibly ambitious and always have “bright ideas” and “goals” they want to accomplish and somehow they’re able to meet those goals without ever having to sacrifice their wants and needs. By every definition these men are the “main characters” or the ultimate “protagonists.” These are the folks that we are supposed to root for. At the same time, though these men have many traits to be admired, when you truly look at it both of them can be incredibly self centered and selfish especially when it pertains to their romantic partners and love interests. No matter how appealing you make these characters out to be these men clearly fall under the Behind Every Great Man trope.

The Behind Every Great Man trope has been used countless of times throughout Cinema and TV History that I’m sure that I don’t even have to explain it to you but for the sake of this meta this is how it’s defined.

“Behind Every Great Man...stands an even greater woman! Or in about a hundred variations is a Stock Phrase referring to how people rarely achieve greatness without support structures that go generally unappreciated, and said support structure is a traditionally female role via being the wife, mother, or sometimes another relation. This trope is specifically about a man who is credited with something important, but owes much of his success to the woman in his life.”

This trope usually has a negative connotation (and rightfully so) because the man who often benefits from this is an asshole and unworthy of this type of support!

For example:

Oliva and Fitz

Cristina Yang and Burke

Cookie and Lucious

Ghost and Tasha

There are countless others but these are a few of the couples that come to mind for me. Randall and Max aren’t comparable to any of these men that are listed above but they are still operating under the same trope. It just looks nicer because Max and Randall are inherently good and inspirational. They are the heroes of the story. I would even argue and say that both men fall under the Chronic Hero Syndrome trope which is defined as

“Chronic Hero Syndrome is an "affliction" of cleaner heroes where for them, every wrong within earshot must be righted, and everyone in need must be helped, preferably by Our Hero themself. While certainly admirable, this may have a few negative side-effects on the hero and those around them. Such heroes could wear themselves out in their attempts to help everyone or become distraught and blame themselves for the one time that they're unable to save the day. Spending so much time and effort saving everyone else can also put a strain on the hero's personal or dating life.”

Just because Max and Randall have these incredibly inspiring aspirations, is it fair that their wives and love interests are always expected to rise to the occasion and support them. Is it ok for their partners to continuously sacrifice their wants and needs because they love these men? 

Let’s dive into it. 

Truth be told, Beth Pearson, Helen Sharpe and Georgia Goodwin had to endure a GREAT DEAL to emotionally support the dreams and aspirations of these men while sacrificing so much of themselves in the process. In media we often see women sacrificing so much of their wants and needs out of love for these male leads and rarely do men do the same thing for their romantic partners and love interests. All three of these women clearly fall under the Act of True Love trope defined as

“The Act of True Love proves beyond doubt that you are ready to put your loved one's interests before your own, that you are truly loyal and devoted to them. Usually this involves a sacrifice on your part, at the very least a considerable effort and/or a great risk. The action must be motivated, not by morals or principle or expectation of future reward, but by sheer personal affection.When your beloved is in dire need of your help, or in great danger, and you do something, at great expense to yourself, for the sake of their safety, their welfare, or their happiness, thus proving beyond any doubt that you put their interest ahead of yours.”

Over the past few seasons we have seen all three of these women truly live up to this trope without any true consequences or accountability from the men they’re making all these sacrifices for. For example, in Beth and Randall’s marriage, how many times did Randall spring an idea on Beth without truly talking to her or considering her wants first? Everyone thinks these two are an ideal couple but she has endured A LOT for Randall.

Randall has spontaneously quit his job, moved his dying biological dad into their home, bought his biological dad’s old apartment building, fostered and adopted a child and also ran for city councilman outside of his district. In all of these decisions, Randall “consulted” Beth about it but at the same time didn’t really consult her. In a way there has always been this expectation of Beth to just go along for the ride with what Randall wants. Is anyone else exhausted from reading that list?! That’s a lot for partner to endure and lovingly support. But Beth has endured and has been Randall’s rock through it all!!! What worries me is that the one time Beth spoke out about her wants and needs of pursuing dance again, he couldn’t match the same energy she was giving him and eventually it led to world war three between them. Though things are looking up in their relationship  and he’s starting to support her more, has Randall nearly given to Beth as much as she’s given to him? Absolutely not!

Similar to Randall, Max also had a wife who was a dancer. in fact, she was a prima ballerina. Unlike Randall and Beth, Max relationship with Georgia was rocky from the start. When we were first introduced to them Max and Georgia were separated and rightfully so. Georgia was never Max’s first priority. The hospital always came first in their relationship. He couldn’t even dedicate a full night to her for their proposal. In order to “save” their marriage they decide to have a baby and they both committed to taking a step back in their careers in order to do so. The problem was Max didn’t keep his side of their commitment and took a job to become the medical director at the biggest public hospital in the U.S. She gave up her career to start a family and he totally and completely betrayed her trust. So throughout season one we see them trying to rebuild their marriage but even in the midst of trying to rebuild a marriage based on trust and mutual respect Max still keeps things from Georgia. For several episodes he didn’t tell her that he had advance stages of throat cancer. He only told her when Georgia asked him to move back home. That’s fucked up! Then throughout their pregnancy he was never fully there for Georgia because he was either to preoccupied with the hospital or himself. At the end of it all, Georgia died tragically at the beginning of season two and really had nothing to show for it in her relationship with Max other than her daughter Luna.

Now let’s bring Helen Sharpe into the fold. While all of this stuff was going on with Max and his wife in season one, Max was developing a deep friendship, borderline emotional affair with Helen. Their relationship started out with Helen being his oncologist. As the new Medical Director of New Amsterdam, he swore Helen to secrecy about his diagnosis so that he could still run the hospital. Through that secrecy they eventually formed a deep bond but as his cancer got worse his secret was let out of the bag. He realistically needed someone to step up and run the hospital when he was going through chemo and though Helen already had commitments she stepped up and became his deputy medical director. Somewhere along the lines Max and Helen started developing feelings for each other. As Helen becomes aware of those feelings, she made a choice and decides to remove herself as Max’s doctor. He BITCHES about it but eventually accepts the boundary she’s clearly trying to set. Mind you, as this is unfolding, like Max, Helen is also in a new relationship with her boyfriend Panthaki. As Max’s cancer seems to be getting worse with his new doctor, she goes back on her boundary and decides to be his doctor again. This pisses her boyfriend off because he could already peep the vibe between them and he breaks up with her. When we get into season two, Max’s wife died and Helen set him up in a clinical trail (with a doctor she previously fired) that’s helping his cancer.  Unbeknownst to Max, this doctor ends up holding his life saving treatment plan over Helen’s head and in order for his treatment to continue she gives this doctor half of her department!

Helen has sacrificed a lot for Max and now in season three she’s finally prioritizing her current wants and needs first! Like Randall, Max is starting to turn a page and is starting to support Helen and truly listen to the wants and needs that she has. All of this is good but my question is did any of these women have to sacrifice so much for the men in their lives to get a clue?

Why is it that this is a trope we see in media time and time and time again? Even if these men are good, why don’t we still keep these male characters accountable when they put their significant others in these situations that are clearly not fair? I’ve watched countless tv shows and I’ve seen a lot of tv couples but I think I have only come across one couple where the male counterpart has selflessly loved his significant other and has always put her needs above his own. 

That character my friend is none other than PACEY WITTER

I might be mistaken but I think Joey and Pacey are the most popular ship in tv history and honestly, rightfully so! This is only example I can think of where the male in the relationship so willingly puts the wants and needs of his partner first. It is a completely selfless and sacrificial love. He never wants to hold her back and he never asks her to compromise her wants or needs for him. That’s why I think so many women love Pacey because in a sea of TV relationships, Pacey Witter is a fucking unicorn.

So to wrap this up does this mean that I hate Randall Pearson or Max Goodwin? No! I adore them. I love both of their characters so much. I just think that when we see the media continuously play out the sacrificial wife/love interest for the sake of their male counterparts, it should be called out. I’m all about sacrificial and selfless love but it should come from both sides.❤️❤️❤️

Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this! As always my DMs are opening here or on Twitter @oyindaodewale

[palmett-hoes]

Do you have any fan casts or strong takes/feelings on the foxes’ appearances? Fandom tends to use the same Pinterest models, which feels wrong to me.

i do in fact! i've actually been meaning to make a post about how i choose to write all of the foxes' ethnicities anyway

but yes i absolutely agree that the typical pinterest model types u generally see on edits is not how i see any of them. nor is reece king or froy gutierrez or lucky blue smith one of my FCs for anyone

for a lot of them i don't necessarily have a single specific FC so much as i have like,, a general impression of features that i will see on various different people, who all may look wildly different from each other or who may not even look how i see the character as a whole but do have a specific feature i associate with them. mostly it boils down to the Energy i get tbh and that's just a Feeling i cant even explain

fun fact im a tiny bit face blind so that might account for some of why i'm so all-over about this

may as well go chronologically. some of them i definitely have more thoughts on than others

1. Dan

ethnicity: Afro Native (Sioux)

features: medium dark skin. buzzcut, killer fade. she often styles it in waves. she's very butch, wears a lot of basketball and cargo shorts, tank tops and flannels and jerseys, hiking boots. skinny but muscular, with a very rectangular body shape. defined jaw. probably like 5'4 or 5'5

FC/Energy: sometimes i get some dan energy out of janelle monae but more butch. lotta dan energy out of samira wiley. lashana lynch

2. Kevin

ethnicity: a lot of things tbd, but he's pretty multi-ethnic. i like the idea of kayleigh being half- or a quarter-japanese in addition to irish because it gives her more of a reason to go to japan for her undergrad. wymack is from d.c. which is a majority black city for its actual residents, but i also like the idea of him being Pasifika/Hawaiian. HOWEVER - and this is pretty important to my read of kevin's character - he's white passing, and has been mostly treated as a white guy who tans his whole life, like occasionally asked if he's italian maybe. learning that his father was a Distinctly Not White Man was a big shock to him.

kristin kreuk, lindsay price, phoebe cates, and marie digby are all half-asian actresses i base kayleigh on

i suppose i base his story partially on broadway actress carol channing, who revealed publically that she was a quarter black when she was like 80 years old. though maybe wentworth miller, a biracial actor who knows his father is black but also doesn't know him, is more accurate to kevin's story. then keanu reeves is a white passing actor with asian ancestry

also none of these people look anything like how i picture kevin lol. kevin is just like,, a guy. handsome ig. but kind of in a CW character kind of way

actually

kevin looks exactly like young jason momoa

3. Andrew

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

features: fat and muscular, very wide and heavy. this blog is basically all andrew body type refs. medium-olive skin, has a bit of a greyish tinge that makes him look a bit eerie or unhealthy. deep set, droopy eyes; looks so tired. flat face with a low-bridged nose. crooked teeth, especially his canines. natural hair black-ish but he bleaches it light blond. has the beginnings of martial artist punching callouses in his knuckles

FC/Energy: holy shit the characters i feel have Andrew Energy are all over the place. pedro pascal. babe ruth (yes fr). oddjob (harold sakata) from goldfinger. the jinn (mousa kraish) from american gods. gaear grimsrud (peter stormare) from fargo. takeshi kovacs (joel kinnaman) from altered carbon. and i wanna be clear, it's these characters specifically, and generally NOT the actors outside of that specific role. except pedro ❤️

4. Matt

ethnicity: cuban

appearance: matt has more of an Energy than specific features to me rn. that energy is Warm. he has that Warm bro jock dude energy. kind of a marvel hero build, hunky and muscular. very rectangular face. has this haircut:

5. Aaron

i get to cut myself some slack and not go AS in depth about aaron because he and andrew are identical twins

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

appearance: similar build to andrew, less confident and casual posture and body language. less apathetically murderous and more emotive expressions. better teeth bc his mom took him to the dentist. yes also bleaches his hair

celebrities: probably a lot like the difference between the characters and the actors. andrew is the characters and aaron is how the actors actually look. idk ive never looked at someone and thought 'hey! looks like aaron!'

6. Seth

ethnicity: have been going with half-vietnamese. considering looking into various south asian possibilities like pakistani

appearance: string bean build. that's all i have to offer

7. Allison

ethnicity: allison's very up in the air for me. she and seth are the two foxes i feel fine with being white, but im committing to having no white foxes sooo. i would say i generally see her as either half-middle eastern or chinese

appearance: plus sized and hourglass shaped. heart shaped face. taller, like 5'8 or 5'9. she has a pretty fraught history with her appearance and her parents payed for/pressured her into getting a nose job to have a 'prettier' nose. she also bleaches her hair blonde. she gets it done at a salon tho the twinyards do it in their bathroom

FC/Energy: elle king and nadia aboulhosn are my main inspos for her, esp body type but nadia esp in Vibes

8. Nicky

ethnicity: multi-ethnic. his mother is southern mexican Indigenous, possibly oaxacan. his father is mixed white/kayin

appearance: definitely takes after his mother while his father is white passing. dark brown skin, warm undertones. slightly stocky build. tall ovular head and thin aquiline nose. he's kind of just,, the opposite of the twins ig, so like their facial features look very different, which is a big part of why people don't make the connection between him and the twins alongside the difference in their skin tones, heights, and builds. nicky's build and features are very vertically-oriented, with a tall head, narrow-set eyes, thin nose with a high bridge, etc. the twins are horizontally-orienged, with broad, flat faces, wide-set eyes, wide noses with a low bridge, etc.

FC/Energy: yalitza aparicio, not a guy but one of the few Mexican Indigenous stars in the film industry and i really like her features for nicky. she's oaxacan

9. Renee

ethnicity: Black. african american

appearance: plus sized, circular/apple body shape. round face. dark skin. microlocs to a bit past her chin, bleached white and dyed at the ends. she and allison go to the salon together. femme but plain style, a lot of blouses and long skirts, practical shoes. knuckle callouses. about 5'6

FC/Energy: dominique fishback. tracie thoms, esp in RENT. gabourey sidibe. nicole byer, but not in Energy. brandy, for some reason, probably bc i think she has very serene Energy and is a little bit otherworldly. like if brandy played arwen or galadriel from lotr it would make perfect sense to me, and that's the Renee Energy™️

10. Neil

ethnicity: mixed. Black/Jewish on both sides. his father is polish ashkenazi and afro-brazilian. his mother is Black British and algerian jewish

appearance: very... sharp. like sharp all over. does that make sense? sharp features, sharp face shape, sharp angles to his body. he's got what i vaguely think of as a 'basketball build' not meaning tall but meaning very rangy and angular and lean. all limbs. seth has a similar build. lighter brown skin. he has waardenburg syndrome which is actually where he gets he gets his eye color, and his eyes are very large and widely spaced as well. freckles freckles freckles. freckles everywhere. 4a hair but at least during canon it's not very healthy and thus the curls aren't well-defined. he grows it out long enough to tie back and starts taking better care of it in post-canon. wonky, slightly crooked teeth, with a gap between the fronts

FC/Energy: now neil i actually have a ton for. mostly models which im a lil ashamed of bc i do try to draw more from athletes. alton mason is a main body type ref. mugsy bogues is good to see what i mean about the basketball build without the height. here're the boys: cykeem white, luka sabbat, désiré mia, Leo Hoyte-Egan, dylan hasselbaink, this beautiful stock photo model i've never been able to track down

i think about him every. goddamn. day.

in terms of like,, real ppl and not models: corbin bleu, especially during Jump In. figure skater elladj balde. rayan "ray ray" lopez from mindless behavior. A$AP Rocky a lil bit, maybe i just like his hairstyle idk

two more models i think are important: carissa pinkston and ralph souffrant

[tepkunset]

Are there any other indigenous people in X-men? Like islanders?

So here’s a list of every Indigenous mutant in Marvel Comics (Earth 616) that I know of. Unfortunately, some are just straight up offensive. But there are a number of underappreciated gems!

Dani Moonstar AKA Mirage (Obviously gotta start with my fave)

Cheyenne

Illusory powers (originally her powers were creating illusions of peoples’ fears. Overtime her illusions eventually expanded to pretty much anything she wants. After she gets fried by the High Evolutionary’s machinery, her illusions could become solid objects, but she could only have one at a time. And during her time undercover with the MLF she developed the ability to channel her illusions into psonic arrows that stun people, trapping them in their nightmares. This is what she mostly uses, currently. (TBH I’d really like to see writers remember her abilities have far more uses than just that... Like, remember that time she recreated Jimmy’s whole damn farm and family so he could ‘see’ them again?)

Dani is also a valkyrie with the ability to sense death

Original member of the New Mutants

Honestly the best character on this list IMO. I could ramble about how awesome Dani is for days...

Forge

Cheyenne

Superhuman mechanical ingenuity/genius (kind of a complicated power, but basically his mutation is that he can understand machines and create anything he can imagine. Like a mutant Tony Stark except better in every way, fight me.)

Back in the day he also dabbled in sorcery but turned out uh Not Good and he hasn’t since

He’s been a member of a bunch of different X-Men teams and none of them have ever given him the respect he deserves

I like Forge a lot TBH, especially after the sorcery thing was dropped and forgotten

A shame we will probably never get to know his real name

Lucas Bishop AKA Bishop

Indigenous Australian (Unknown Nation)

Energy absorption and redirection, subsequently super durability (if you blast him he will just blast you back)

Bishop isn’t technically from 616, being born in a dark future, but has existed in the main universe for as long as he’s been around. He’s been a team member in Uncanny X-Men and X-Treme X-Men but then went through a period as an enemy, mostly cause he has a That’s So Raven syndrome where he thinks he's shaping the future for the better and fucks things up. Can’t say I’m a fan in the way he was used as an inconvenience for Cable, but otherwise you can count on Bishop for being pretty damn cool.

Just a warning for anyone unfamiliar with him but wants to read up on him: His background may be triggering. The tattoo over his eye isn’t a choice, but a brand he received when put into the mutant concentration camp where he was born in.

Shard Bishop AKA Shard

Indigenous Australian (Unknown Nation)

Energy blasts from light

Shard is Bishop’s younger sister, and therefore also not technically from 616. She’s also not nearly as prominent a character, but was member of X-Factor for a while.

Honestly, Shard was never actually given a chance to do anything and her relationship with Fitzroy (green haired, slimy time travelling serial killer) is BS. 

James Proudstar AKA Warpath

Apache

Super strength, speed, senses, stamina, reflexes, durability, healing, and flight (everyone forgets the flight)

Also he’s over 7 feet tall which is its own superpower

John Proudstar’s younger brother

Sadly, Jimmy chronically suffers from writers not having a sweet clue what to do with him or how to write him. Swear to god, no one should be allowed to touch him before reading X-Force vol 1 after Liefeld left. James appearing to be scary to people who don’t know him and actually being a sweetheart is the whole deal with his character. He is not a violent raging edgelord! Everyone at Marvel just collectively forgot he rejected the name Warpath after starting to come to terms with the death of his family, too. 

Anyway, I love James with pure spite and venom and would love to fistfight all the writers who’ve done him dirty over the years...

John Proudstar AKA Thunderbird (speaking of getting done dirty)

Apache

Super strength, speed, senses, stamina, reflexes and durability

James Proudstar’s older brother

This poor bastard was created to die for shock value, and has been one of the few X-Men for which death has not been a revolving door. For the brief time he was around, he was portrayed as nothing but a jerk, too. It’s only in brief flashbacks that he’s ever been given more character. Also that one Chaos World mini.

Gloria Muñoz AKA Risque

Seminole

Can make objects implode (think the opposite of Gambit)

Risque was an anti-hero/anti-villain associated with the original X-Factor, and formerly James’ GF. She was a complicated character and deserved a redemption arc. That’s a hill I’m gonna die on.

John Greycrow AKA... I don’t even wanna say it

Unknown Nation

Technology manipulation (can like, turn a gun into a different gun for example), super healing

Scalphunter. His name is fucking scalphunter. And just like the other Indigenous Marauder member on this list, he’s been nothing but a lingering racist caricature. He is currently a protagonist in the running Hellions series and I honestly do not know what miracle Zeb Wells thinks he can pull to reinvent this character, but I guess we’ll just have to see.

Kodiak Noatak AKA Harpoon

Inuit

Can supercharge his harpoon with energy

That’s right, the Marauders don’t have just one, but two racist as fuck caricatures! He also... for some reason... speaks... like this a lot... I sure... wonder why...

Gateway

Indigenous Australian (Unknown Nation)

Teleportation portal creation

Oh look, it’s the X-Men’s bus ticket. Seriously, Gateway is nothing but a silent teleporter for the X-Men to travel around by, and another racist caricature. However, there is one good thing to come out of Gateway’s existence, and that’s that without him, we may never have gotten...

Eden Fesi AKA Manifold

Indigenous Australian (Unknown Nation)

Teleportation portal creation (and some interesting ways of using it too)

I swear Hickman must have looked back at Gatway and thought, you know what, let’s try that again except not offensive. Eden is pretty cool, and one of the three reasons I read Avengers vol 5 (the other two being Bobby and Sam). It’s a shame he’s never gotten the chance to interact with the X-Men, what with being a mutant and all. I would love to see him on Krakoa. Given that Hickman is at the helm and Eden is a Hickman character, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched of a hope?

Yeah, that’s all I can think of, unfortunately. Really makes you wish there were more, huh.

BONUS:

Julio Richter AKA Rictor

Listen. I will fight to my last dying breath to defend what I have always seen as the obvious; Julio was created with the intention of him being an Indigenous Mexican boy. I legit have a half-done powerpoint presentation about it that I never finished upon realizing no one would take me seriously when I sound like this mapping out all the evidence -

[karazetian]

What’s happening is that Disney is not doing its job.

I ended up doing an essay lol. I obviously appreciate someone reading it but given that is really lengthy, I don’t expect anyone to do so. I’m also not Asian so, there’s that. And my English leaves a lot to be desired (I corrected the orthography but I’m prone to grammar errors). 

I do recommend checking out the sources I linked, especially 1 (youtube video made by a Chinese person), 2 and 3 (the descriptions are below).

I talk about what Disney is doing is not out of naive idleness. Idleness yes, but naivety no. 

I keep thinking, where the hell did this movie go wrong? Because yes, this is not the first time nor the last time Disney is going to deliver a less than mediocre live-action remake, but, despite all of their track record, I still had hope for this one. 

Because, while the other movies are classics, they had certain aspects that didn’t age perfectly, which it is understandable. Beauty and the Beast, although arguably the best Disney animated movie, had these “Stockholm Syndrome” connotations* (bear with me) and we also had to consider how much of Beast’s personality could stay in the remake (since he could have been read really wrong if he lashed out on Belle too much, not only because of his appearance but for the power dynamics of him being the one in calling the shots of Belle’s wellbeing, hope that made sense). 

Cinderella could have made some* audiences criticize her for her apparent submissiveness, Aladdin is a whole can of worms in the subject of orientalism (which they kept in the remake, anyway), etc., etc.

*This is not the post to discuss whether or not Belle suffered Stockholm Syndrome during her movie, nor to discuss whether or not Cinderella was actually submissive in the original. Many people have already done that, my point in bringing that up is, Disney used that as an excuse to change scenes and plot in the remakes. 

But Mulan, aside from minor problems that come from an American company writing an eastern story (and the values and trends present when the movie was made), had a very strong plot that still holds up to this day (I say that like the movie was made in the 30s lol). 

Not only it is a “feminist” movie but also, the story is very well written and made, in my opinion. There was not a lot that you needed to change. The main character had already a well-rounded personality (unlike, for example, my girl Aurora), the story was already very rich, etc. The removal of Mushu (and the whole dragon symbolism), although sad, it’s understandable how it was necessary.

However, is not just the removal of important and nostalgic characters like Mushu or grandma Fa, but the removal of the soul of the movie.

Mulan 2020 is a soulless movie. 

This is not unique to this remake, as this is not even unique to remakes, imo. But it is one of the most painful ones, because this movie meant a lot to a lot of women (and people) and the beauty of it all was that you didn’t need to be Chinese, or a woman, to appreciate it (that’s a good thing in the sense that is good when you can relate to a story, even if you don’t share some of the traits with the main character. Not that it’s good despite being the story of a Chinese woman, is that clear? Sorry if it’s not).

And it’s also painful because it could have been so easy to... not do that. Other people have already talk about this (and in a much briefer, better way) but yes, what made Mulan so great in the original was that she was your average girl, even worse because she lived in a very conservative society yet she managed to become a badass while, not only discovering who she was in the process, but also staying true to that. That was the reason she was great. She had flaws, she couldn’t adapt, she was the underdog but she, through her unwillingness to give up, her tenacity, wits and compassion, overcame that, eventually becoming a hero. 

It was not because of her qì. Again, I’m not going to do a deep dive in that because others have already talked about how they made her a Chosen One. What I want to discuss is how sad it is that they went for that route and my confusion as to why they did it. 

And I think it was more than laziness. It’s definitely a lack of motivation but, when you dwelve on it, I don’t think that laziness goes hand in hand with carelessness. But first, with the laziness, a google search would have made them see what progressive crowds now deem as feminist values. Both eastern and western crowds. 

Because yeah, sure, I doubt the Chinese government is well versed in intersectional feminism. Yet, there are movies both the Chinese government and its people have liked and appreciated. Weren’t they the ones that, upon watching Kung Fu Panda said something like “how did we not come up with that?” 

I saw this video made my Chinese youtuber Accented Cinema (links below: 1, I highly recommend watching it) and he even mentioned his school taking his class to watch the original movie in theaters. So, yeah, believe it or not, you can make a feminist movie set in a third world country (I also come from a third world country, sorry if this sounds like I’m being mean to Chinese people). 

So, why did you not do your homework, Disney? Again, I understand they couldn’t have made the most leftist movie, not only because it’s Disney, but because they wanted to appeal to both governments, however, you could have made the remake be satisfying enough for that audience and the rest of the world. But they didn’t even satisfy the Chinese audience, with a lot of them saying how the movie reinforces ideologies the Chinese themselves have already moved on from (the “devotion to family” inscription in the sword has received a lot of criticisms: 2).

This means that they failed to do even the only thing they seemed to compromise on. You could have had still appealed to the government. That is to say, I don’t expect Disney to be the wokest of them all and go full anarchist on their movies because that’s not even what Disney wants anyway.

They could have still done some things that wouldn’t have anything to do with western or eastern values. For example, they could have given Mulan’s sister a personality. Giving your character one is not a western/Americanized value, it’s part of what means to make a well written story.

Without that, her character seems completely pointless. Seriously, I keep thinking what was the point of her character, besides being a disappointing replacement of the grandma. I’d like to think that she was the movie’s way to represent how more conservative values are still valid, if the woman chooses so. Her wanting to get married and have a traditional family doesn’t diminish her value as a person. They could have made a scene with the two sisters still being able to bond with each other, even if they had very different views of the world.

But since we never find out about her motivations or desires, it is left unknown whether this is what she chose for herself or if she is just another victim of her circumstances. And I ask myself why, since it could have been so easily to do that. You could have replaced the scene where kid Mulan is combing her sister’s hair (which, for what I can remember, only serves to further stablish the sister’s fear of spiders… which they make clear in other two scenes) if the movie’s duration was a problem.

Being left with no logical answers, I can only conclude that it was out of laziness. But it doesn’t end there, does it? Because I think “ok, so they were lazy, then they could have done what every lazy student does when they don’t have any motivation left and copy-pasted the original. Didn’t they do that with the Lion King already?”

And I get that it didn’t work with that one, but that’s because you shouldn’t somber up a movie that has anthropomorphic animals, that also heavily relied on being an animated movie. Mulan doesn’t rely on that; Mulan was inspired by a legend. Live-action Mulan had already been made with good results, so what couldn’t they have just copy pasted their own original? If they didn’t have the energy to give it a proper, well-made twist (i.e., Maleficent), the least they could have done is respect its predecessor.

But they took away all the things that made Mulan great in the first place, to made her what every writer will tell you not to do. Making her being born with extraordinary skills, which then results in her not having to work for her merits, is something even I, a nobody, knows not to do. I’m not even going to address how taking agency away from her sends the wrong message to the little girls that are going to see this sad excuse of a movie.

What I’m trying to say, it may not be comparable to a lazy student copying the homework of one of the most accomplished students, but it is as if they based their work on that, just butchering all the parts that made the accomplished student’s work good. And, unlike with the lazy student whose reasons might be justifiable, Disney had no excuse to do so, because it is their job.

It is their job to deliver a well written story or, if that’s too demanding, to at least make a movie with a happy-go feeling (is that grammatically correct?) that sends a well-meaning message. Instead, the message this movie (I would say, purposefully) delivers is that you can only accomplish great things if you’re born special.

Us, regular folks, especially regular women, especially regular women born in less than ideal circumstances, are doomed. And that’s what’s sad.

 Links to sources used:

1.    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZccG-wtt5FA&ab_channel=AccentedCinema

2.    https://twitter.com/tony_zy/status/1302743527240142849

Why “boycott” Mulan 2020 (not only because of what the lead actress said):

3.    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/09/07/why-disneys-new-mulan-is-scandal/

4.    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/whats-happening-in-xinjiang-is-genocide/2020/07/06/cde3f9da-bfaa-11ea-9fdd-b7ac6b051dc8_story.html

5.    What the actress did say: https://time.com/5653973/mulan-boycott-liu-yifei/

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Free! S3

I will never get tired of Makoto offering Haru a hand out of the water

OMG I guess some things do change Makoto’s been dunked and I kinda love it

“I’m never gonna be a normal person” wow who is this this Goth Diet Haru

I love the phrase “hot minute” actually thank u for ur teen slang Asahi

Offering people his lecture notes and texting back right away will anyone ever be as good as Makoto? Trick question no

“I’m still young and innocent” “That’s a weird thing to say” I love that Haru’s meeting a bunch of people who aren’t used to his antics

This flashback seems to indicate that Haru felt Some Kinda Way about Ikuya which is weird because they look almost the same

“Don’t worry too much about the family” LMAO Sosuke has received a blessing from his cousin to follow Rin to Australia 

“Just inferior copies of Ikuya” that’d be more meaningful if Ikuya had done anything other than stare broodingly

It’s telling that the Iwatobi team is dressed like the Wiggles in this outro

All this outro really told me is that they aren’t really that good at differentiating main character design

“We have to try not to spoil them too much” I approve of Ikuya’s brother and his co-parenting buddy

“I’m not going to move ever again,” said Asahi, with the full confidence of a twelve-year-old boy who knows absolutely nothing about anything

Okay but for real Ikuya and Haru straight up look like siblings this weird rivalry energy on top of that fact is a little bit Much

[Rose and Rosie voice] It’ll never work out their hair is the same colour  

“Is Haru the guy who was all dressed up and riding a camel in the recruiting video we saw?” UNBELIEVABLE their Arabian Nights outro from S1 was actually their recruitment video Iwatobi do u take constructive criticism

“I’ll even be good enough to compete against you” how many rivals does one young man really need my god

Hey Trenchcoat Man maybe introduce yourself before telling these teens how to live their lives

Dude you’re so controlling trying to prevent Ikuya from seeing his friends

Ahhhhh I love Haru being in touch with his emotions and apologizing to Ikuya tbh I give Makoto and Rin a lot of the credit for his ability to communicate lmao 

“I’d prefer you didn’t keep him too long” listen I get where you might be coming from since Haru hurt Ikuya’s feelings but also stop that

“Thought I’d give you a wake-up call” I really don’t like the vibe of Hiyori

“Japanese guy! Friend of yours, maybe?” An accurate representation of what it’s like to hang out with white people lmao

There’s a different vibe from a teenager who giggles about swimmers’ muscles to an adult swim coach who is coaching swimming at a university giggling about swimmers’ muscles put that away Mikhail

Hiyori gives me the straight up heebie jeebies every time he opens his mouth

I can’t read Japanese but I have to assume Rin was gonna call Haru and reminisce about their bed sharing night lmao

Natsuya is some kinda Swimming Capitalist Nomad I’m not mad about it

“How many of these dreams do you have?” that’s valid lmao Rin has #calledout for being a rival slut

“His face told me that what matters most to him is not here” I can’t tell if this is a reference to Ikuya or to Natsuya’s white-haired rival-friend-boyfriend-probably

You know what, in the context of this show: Boyfriend 

“Hey, calm down. Listen, Archerfish--” HARU PLS

I don’t know Misae but the fact she calls her boyfriend Archerfish has already won me over

Hiyori would you fucking stop interfering this isn’t fair to Ikuya

“Ikuya’s too busy to waste his time reminiscing on childish things” well that should be Ikuya’s decision shouldn’t it like not 2 get 2 real but this is all the markers of an abusive relationship if someone does this to you please tell someone

God this stubbly weird man and his ominous advice STILL without any introduction 

“I’m getting sick of hearing you speak for Ikuya like you’re his damn boss” ME TOO ASAHI

YOU CANNOT DECIDE WHO IKUYA’S FRIENDS ARE HIYORI YOU ABSOLUTE SHITPRETZEL 

HA Ikuya knows you’ve been giving the boys the runaround fuckweasel

“If I swim with Tono, maybe it’ll help me understand him” Makoto coming after jerks with his best weapon: empathy <3

“People you swim with all seem to end up suffering, don’t they” LISTEN YOU ASSBANANA IT’S NOT HARU’S FAULT THAT PEOPLE GET OBSESSED WITH HIM HE’S JUST A GOOD SWIMMER

Omg I enjoy the drama of Sosuke interacting with the one (1) person in Japan who has seen Rin lately 

“I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed there isn’t a single pudgy person here” like I know this is probably gonna be a running gag for their opposite body preferences but it’s also a self-burn for the creators of this show only drawing different scales of one body type

I really do love that Rei is swim team captain now my boy has come so far

Oh Romio is there anyone in this swim universe that doesn’t have some kind of Traumatizing Swim Experience 

“Think about what your reason for jumping in is” Sosuke’s advice sounds like beautiful nonsense I don’t know how that’s supposed to help him concentrate on start times

Lmao I love this Overbearing Friend Gesture of Shizuru and Nagisa putting seaweed on Romio and Rei’s plates without asking kjhfkghfghfk

“Actually, if you don’t mind, we have a proposition” $500 says that Nagisa and Rei are about to propose a relay race

Update from 8 minutes later: Someone owes me $500

“Can you tell how proud I am?” Natsuya is such a good big brother <3

 Hahahaha “a guy he wants to swim with again some day” Natsuya is also a good wingman for Rin lmao

Based on his inner monologue Sosuke should also be a swimming coach except in the vein of Cryptic Trench Coat Stubble Man who just offers random unsolicited advice to any teenage swimmer he passes by in the street 

“I’m so proud of you” jgjhgjhg Shizuru I love you and your tears for Romio

What kind of child welfare laws are there in Japan that Hiyori’s parents were allowed to just leave him alone in the park

“When I saw [Haru] again, the weakness I thought I left behind came flooding back to me” the moral of this story is that competitive swimming makes you gay

Ikuya used to be fun and sweet lmao what made you so broody my dude

Lmao @ Hiyori being mad that Ikuya thinks of Haru as his Prince Eric instead of him 

Wow I love Nao being a guiding force for this group of nerds

“I’m not hearting anything for you” Asahi understands Stranger Danger

It took Ryuji a solid six eps to even get a name u’d expect him to have a more important character connection than Rin’s Swim Coach’s Rival

“Then you should start swimming other stuff” I Love Misaki, Adopted Child of Haru and Makoto 

Well this wistful playground vibe has taken a strange turn

“It’s none of your damn business okay!!” TONO JUST GOT DUMPED HA

KJGHKJGH THE RAGE IN HARU’S VOICE ABOUT THE MACKEREL

Ryuji: He can just buy me dinner or something. I’m not picky. As long as it’s not mackerel

Haru [through gritted teeth]: I’m ready when you are

AH I LOVE KISUMI AND ASAHI BABYSITTING TSUKUSHI

“After all we’ve been through, why does it have to be like this?” U MADE IT LIKE THIS HIYORI

HAHAHAHAH Makoto and Ryuji had a standoff of wills and Ryuji lost

“Maybe it’s time for you to approach things more seriously” Nao has declared it’s time to stop sowing your wild oats and settle down Natsuya

Kazuma only shows up to remind Sosuke he is free to run away to swim whenever

“Hope you’re well” “Hey relax I’m not your dad” [Natsuya immediately begins acting like their dad]

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH GO HARU LEADING HIS CATEGORY

“I don’t think he’s all that bad of a guy” that’s Stockholm Syndrome Ikuya

I’m glad Ikuya is finally fucking having a meaningful conversation with his friends

“In the water I’m alone. No one’s gonna save me” Get therapy Ikuya!!!

Wow Haru joining a race purely to have an Emotional Confrontation with Ikuya is some kinda growth I’m just not sure what exactly

“That guy’s the only one anyone ever talks about” to be fair if your sample size is Iwatobi swimmers they are all a little in love with him

“That’s our BOYYYYYYYYYY” Aw Asahi <3 

Ghjkghk I love Makoto teasing Haru for being Ikuya’s hero

“Oh, you’re wise now?” AWWWW Ikuya is fun again good for him

 I know that Ikuya reaching out in friendship to Hiyori is supposed to be a sign of emotional security but I haven’t forgiven him for the way he’s manipulated Ikuya!!! Ur a seawitch not a Prince Eric!!! >:((((

I’m super thrown about them going straight from the qualifiers to the next race what will the last four episodes of this season be about

“I’ve been giving myself pep talks in the mirror. ‘I am a genius. I am a genius.’” HAHAHAHA I LIKE FUN IKUYA

“Looks like you beat me” “Just in free” Haru has released Ikuya into the universe for Hiyori and I don’t like it (for Ikuya’s sake) but that’s how it be I guess

How many siblings are there in the Mikoshiba family lmao there’s a new one every season 

“But gender doesn’t mean anything in a competition” I like u Lady Mikoshiba

“You mean you were Russian this whole time??” this is a lot to digest

I LOVE RIN’S PUDGY CAT STEVE LOL IS IT THE SAME IN JAPANESE

“The water likes you. I can tell” ALBERT PLS, Haru is already FULL-UP on homoerotic swim relationships

It’s killing me that they keep cutting to Makoto like Haru’s cheating on him though

Not to undermine the subplot of these last three episodes but hasn’t Haru... lost races before hgkjhgk

“I thought something soft and cute would help balance out that scary face of yours” omg STOP this cuteness 

Gghkhgk these flashbacks and Rin crying over Sosuke’s surgery are SO cute I never thought I would feel so proud of Rin way back in S1 he’s grown so much!!

Makoto being surrounded by ladybugs and butterflies like a wholeass Disney Prince

WHY are ALL of these swimming weirdos SOMEONE’S UNCLE

“You’re still as weird as ever, Haru’s the exact same way” I should start tracking how long in a conversation it takes characters to bring up Haru

Gnjghkjhg Makoto gets through to Haru in 0.5 seconds after two weeks of him ignoring his own coach. The power of fish metaphors and Love™

Kinda seems like they are setting it up like Makoto will also get to travel the world for swimming and let me say... I’m not mad about it

Update from like 2 minutes later: I WAS RIGHT

“That’s the evil king who wanted the magic lamp” the Arabian Nights references kill me every time 

Djkhdkjhd Ryuji labelling Mikhail in his phone as “Muscle Freak” that’s tru friendship

“You should say, ‘I’m totes hip with the kids, yo’” Ryuji pls 

“You’re so cute, you must be Iwatobi’s famous Kou” KHGKHGKJHKJ 3/3 MIKOSHIBA KNOCKOUT KOU

Awwwww Rei is so nervous for nationals my sweet baby boy

I ADORE that Rin and Haru are literally running across the city right before their most important meet bc they want to see their friends swim 

Rrgjhgr the one and only backstory in this show is former childhood friends and it applies to every single character

OMG Rei get his own flashback but with his boy Nagisa I love it

“I think he’d make a good rival for you actually” Makoto Tachibana: Rival Matchmaker

GOOD JOB BOYS U DID GOOD (ALSO TEAM PHOTO I WEEP)

“Try not to cry when I beat you” SOSUKEEEEEEEEEE

Wow this final episode is already clutching at my heart right out of the gate baby Haru 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Makoto letting four more boys pile into his one bedroom for the night bc he’s the Best Boy Alive

HJGHJKGH THIS EXCHANGE 

Mikhail: That’s what I call ‘totes hip with the kids’

Nearby youths: [Giggling]

Mikhail: [Soft indignant gasp] Ryuji!!

Natsuya and Ikuya have the cutest sibling relationship gjkghk THEY

The theme of this season is people hugging each other and crying over the lanes and I LOVE THAT 4 THEM

Rin and Haru and Makoto........... are good boys

“What is this, some kind of teen drama” that is exactly it, Rin

“He won’t stop talking about stupid crap like friendship and bonds” I love three (3) boys

Bonus: Out of Order Liveblog of Free! Take Your Marks + S3E0

Haru dropping his pants in Makoto’s apartment without the immediate context of them being near water was the most high stakes moment in this entire anime I had no idea where that was going

Haru leaving his apartment hunting until the day before he moves: Mood

Sidenote: Makoto and Haru going apartment hunting is domestic as HELL I love it

“The two of you are inseparable, huh?” “We’re friends, deal with it.” Let people be gay Kisumi 

Lmao @ Nagisa and Rei’s yoga pose video Iwatobi is the cutest swim team in the world 

“Then one day even those tears will dry out in the Tokyo desert” who hurt you, Ms. Amakata 

“Allow me to welcome you to Tokyo, the city where love and lust intertwine” Free! Love and Lust could really be a subtitle of this anime lmao

“I’m talking about the whole bunkbed situation, you know, top and bottom” lmao shout-out to Sloane for that one art

I love the wordless communication between Makoto and Haru (and for that matter, Sosuke and Rin) I’m so glad they worked things out

I’m also happy Rin and Kou are cool now they used to have quite a gap

“Rin wasn’t that honest with himself” rjghg Rin and Haru miss each other

“This is the one,” said Haru, next to Makoto, His Completely Platonic Best Friend Who Dreams About Them Sharing An Apartment and Dropping Trou

I LOVE STEVE THE FAT CAT. AN ICON. A BEAUTY. CHUNKY BABY

“The treasure is inside the red shark’s mouth” there is DEFINITELY a Rin joke to be made here and the writers knew it

I don’t know what I love about this more that Aii and Momo are TERRIBLE at scheming or that that they are throwing Rin and Sosuke together on White Day lmao

This team vacation... Sosuke giggling bc he was tickled... !!!!!!! THANKS

I’m loving all these teams getting presents for each other jkhgkjg

Oh am I finally going to understand this Momo and Capybara backstory

Lol @ Natsuya pouring his heart abt Nao to Sosuke wholly unsolicited

“What were you about to ask” “Oh, not anything important (I’ll wait for you Sosuke)”

OHHHHHHHHHH THE CHARM BACKSTORY SOSUKEEEEEEEEEE

Oh Christ alive am I about to watch the Arabian Nights recruitment film

Hhhgjgjhg I gather the only reason Haru got his license was to compete with Rin

“I’m the evil king who is after the lamp for his own selfish reasons” I hate this... but also... I love this???

“I am a mysterious peddler. I travel carrying mysterious bundles. While riding atop of my mysterious partner Chappy the Camel” HARU STOP

OH MAKOTO HONEY U POOR SOUL JHGKHFKJGH 

“Makoto. When I’m nervous I think about mackerel” I am going to expire

“I think the three of you should implement your own version of it” Fhjkhgk Haru is telling them to exploit their bodies for school recruitment but also that’s not really anything new so fair enough

Nagisa: Rei is Perfect Killer Muscles Handsome in my heart!!!!!!

“Maybe I’m never going to understand him” Omg @ The Jilted Middle School Exes of Haru Club

“How David had to give up his love.... And then Veronica, knowing they couldn’t see each other anymore” call me crazy but I think Rin is projecting his own issues onto A Rat’s Life LMAO

Tjehjkhkje Sosuke needing to call Rin bc he got lost on his way to the bathroom... Useless Husband Energy

HAHAH Rin is so upset thinking Momo and Kou are dating

At least Rin recognizes that he doesn’t get to decide who Kou dates he can only express his approval or disapproval

“Momotaru Mikoshiba is a man who lives by passion” gjhgjhg stop this

“Rin would never lose to a persimmon, ever!” MAKOTO R U OK

“You are not less than a persimmon!” THESE BOYS. U R SO DUMB BUT ALSO GET U A FRIEND LIKE THE IWATOBI SWIM CLUB

“It’s cool if you need to cry” “If you stay in the pool no one will ever notice your tears” I LOVE SOSUKE AND HARU TEAMING UP TO TEASE RIN

I also deeply appreciate that even though I’ve never heard their Japanese voices I know exactly who is saying what line in this outro just by dialogue and tone of voice

+

“I have a crippling fear of mascot costumes” “Then why did you take this job” kjhgkjhgkjh if that isn’t a work mood 

Wait... if Makoto is going to be the substitute wrestler... WILL HARU BE THE SUBSTITUTE MASCOT AHHHHHHHH

WAIT NO I HAVE GRAVELY AND HILARIOUSLY MISUNDERSTOOD MAKOTO IS GOING TO BE BOTH MASCOT AND WRESTLER

“Iwa means ‘boulder’ and ‘tobi’ means ‘black kite’ so it’s a boulder-headed bird!!” Well that’s more of an explanation for the appearance of the Iwatobi mascot than I ever expected, Nagisa

“You don’t have a crippling fear of mascot costumes, do you?” No but I have feeling Makoto is about to develop one

Oh it’s THIS FUCKPUDDLE who asked u to be here Hiyori

“I don’t exactly hate it” high praise Ikuya lmao

Thkjhtkjh I love Natsuya’s long distance relationship it’s sweet 

HAHAHA is the beak thing supposed to be a ploy so people see Makoto’s face

“I cannot let Haru see me like this” “Hi Makoto” HAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS WHOLE INTERACTION AND ALSO HOW HARU JUST GOES ALONG WITH ALL OF IT

Also I don’t know how Makoto was planning to hide his identity after he was addressed as “Mr. Tachibana”

LMAO @ MAKOTO BEING RECOGNIZED BY HIS LEG MUSCLES I’M SCREAMING

“Hey Makoto, use a backstroke!!” HARU PLEASE

“Well done, you’ll be a great mascot someday” “Thanks? I think?” This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen and I loved it

Oh my goooood Haru bringing Makoto presents for his siblings.... they have ascended to the college relationship levels of Natsuya and Nao

Man Ikuya could not radiate stronger “leave me alone” vibes 

“Wow you boys make a dashing pair” you said it Suit Lady not me 

[transtech-zine]

Page 04:

CHARACTER BIOS

Cheetor – Supreme Commander

Not that long ago, Cheetor was an impulsive, speed-obsessed punk.  Then he was forced to step up as a squad leader during the Battle of the Sparks.  Now, for what he feels was merely being in the right place at the right time, Cheetor must face his most challenging role yet: leader of Cybertron.  He doesn’t doubt that he’s still the fastest cat on two or four wheels; it’s the responsibility of running a planet that weighs heavy on his shoulders.  After all, why should he and his team lead Cybertron just because they were the ones to liberate it?

Optimus Prime senses great potential in Cheetor, and has taken him on as a mentee – tutelage for which Cheetor is grateful.  While he chafes when Optimus oversteps his bounds and starts giving his team orders, on some level he’d like to be that cocksure rookie again.

Under Optimus, Cheetor has honed his Transcendence ability.  He no longer needs to dream to see a prophetic vision of the future; now his Transcendence allows him a flash of foresight.  Combined with his super speed, this makes Cheetor a dangerous and evasive adversary in any combat situation.

Optimus Prime – Mentor

The legendary leader of the Autobots.  Once, he singlehandedly ended the Great War by trapping himself and Decepticon High Command in the Millennia Dome, ensuring they would be suspended in time for all eternity… barring accidents.  Now, Optimus Prime finds himself on an unfamiliar Cybertron, surrounded by new faces and old enemies.  Allying himself with Cheetor’s squad of former Maximals, Optimus is committed to ensuring that Megatron’s forces do not shatter the peace that he has fought so long to establish.

After initial teething troubles, Optimus Prime has stepped out of the spotlight and into an advisory role, counselling Cheetor and the younger Autobots.  In this capacity, Optimus is a veritable fount of wisdom, with four million years’ worth of battle experience under his belt.  However, his charges sometimes find that his insight is more applicable to times of all-out warfare rather than the relative peace of Cybertropolis.

When called upon to battle, Optimus Prime is a force to be reckoned with.  Upgrades during the Great War have maxed out his abilities, giving him above average strength, speed, and firepower.  His Transcendence allows him to manifest hard light energy weapons, including his signature axe.

Transcendence

The Battle for the Sparks was the Maximals’ darkest hour.  Optimus Primal and his team had managed to seize control of the Grand Mal, the Vehicon Megatron’s stronghold, and with it the lost sparks of every civilian on Cybertron.  But they were outnumbered and outgunned, besieged by the Vehicons from all angles.  Primal retreated to the sparks’ chamber, where the spiritualist beseeched the Oracle – the supercomputer at the heart of Cybertron – to grant him the wisdom and strength needed to defeat Megatron and bring balance to Cybertron.  Speaking as one, the captive sparks granted the Maximals phenomenally boosted power and speed.  For a time, this allowed them to have the upper hand over their Vehicon enemies, but their newfound abilities faded when Megatron cut their connection to the Oracle.

However, part of the Oracle’s power still lingers within Cheetor’s team, beginning to manifest in ways they cannot control.  Optimus Prime recognises the effects; the ancient hero was similarly touched by the Oracle during the final phase of the Autobots’ war with the Decepticons.  Under Optimus Prime’s tutelage, each of the former Maximals can begin to harness that power and channel it into a unique special ability.

I wanted to bring some of Beast Machines’ sense of graphic design to the page layouts in this zine.  The font used for the headers is Neuropolitical, a wide font that screams 90s graphic design.  Rounded rectangles are used in this section, as they are on Beast Machines’s cardbacks.  The dotted and dashed lines in later pages are also from BM toy packages.

We start with a potted history of Cheetor.  Following Beast Machines’ finale, which feels like a definitive ending, the question is, what happens next?  The answer is: Cheetor gets anxiety.  It’s easy to write a story where the hero wins and becomes the king of the land, but to me there’s always the lingering doubt that swashbuckling heroism is transferable experience to governing.  Cheetor’s impostor syndrome is deliberately evocative of the G1 cartoon’s version of Rodimus Prime, including an episode where he gets to be young and reckless again.

There isn’t much of a close-up look at Cheetor’s head in extant Transtech concepts.  Notoriously, pictures of his toy prototype lack his finished robot mode.  As I’d intended to digibash said toy back into existence, I had to pick a pre-existing head to model his appearance on, so I chose his relatively obscure Titanium Series toy.  It’s not made clear in the credits, but I drew all the character profile art.

With Cheetor in the main hero role, Optimus Prime has to become a mentor.  This is patterned after the Robots in Disguise 2015 cartoon, where Optimus returns to life and finds himself at odds with Bumblebee’s leadership.

“Barring accidents” is a Doctor Who quote, for some reason.

At once stage I was committed to referring to the character as “Optimus Prime”, never “Optimus” nor “Prime” alone.  I’m glad I dropped that.

Look at me, retconning both Cheetor’s prophetic dreams and Optimus’ energo-axe into manifestations of the same ability.  It’s like poetry, it rhymes.

When my brother proofread an earlier draft of this zine, he fed back that Transcendence was quickly glossed over in the overview without ever being clearly explained what it was and who could use it.  I added this additional section in here; while not strictly a character bio, it does allow me a consistent three profiles per page.

EDIT: Just over a year later, the fan-run unofficial continuation of Ask Vector Prime here on tumblr would retcon Transcendence as a variant of Masterforce’s Chōkon Power, giving it the name Kijūchōkon, roughly meaning “Machine Beast Super Soul Power”.  Transtech is shonen now

[spoiler2010]

Rebirth Of A Nation?

Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke finds himself in an unusual predicament. Never before have the spheres of his influence been so politicized as we have seen in this new century. He holds jurisdiction over Federal land and resources, Indian affairs, wildlife and territorial issues. As of 2019, Zinke finds himself faced with some unusual problems that may cause him to 'think out of the box' in dealing with what had once been considered routine matters within his Department.

One of the first controversies of the New Year was the Obamites attempting to erect a shrine to their idol on State property. The Obama Presidential Center was to be built in the downtown Chicago vicinity. In all likelihood his henchman, Mayor Rahm Emanuel, had arbitrarily agreed to the project without getting any municipal or State approval. Emanuel, as we recall, was the White House Chief of Staff before resigning under controversy after his first year. Emanuel and his socialist cohorts were taken aback to find that they were being blocked by a lawsuit filed by a parks advocacy group. As of this writing the trial has yet to commence. Chances are that Zinke may be asked to weigh in at a future date should socialists choose to appropriate Federal land to immortalize their heroes.

The biggest controversy surrounded the curious case of Covington Catholic School student Nick Sandmann, who attended a demonstration in Kentucky by race activists. Along with classmates wearing red Make America Great Again caps, he was vilified by protestors who hurled racial profanities at the youths. Nick was one of those who rose to the occasion, exhorting his classmates to stand fast and offer no retaliation against the belligerents. 

What happened next was the worst backfire Fake News experienced since the Trump inauguration. Leftist media outlets edited all video at the event, distributing it across their networks to fit their storyline. Sandmann was shown smiling tautly as an Indian demonstrator was beating a tribal drum with just several inches of space between them. It was not hard for the slanderers to claim that the boy was violating the personal space of the Indian and mocking his ritual display.

Unfortunately for the Fake News conspirators, there were videocameras documenting the incident from different angles. Black Hebrew Israelite militants were seen at a distance though within earshot of the street event, screaming racial epithets at the youths. Ironically, this sect has a nationwide following that adheres to bizarre interpretations of Scripture. They claim that the Twelve Tribes of Israel are comprised of black ethnicities around the world, and that whites are disciples of Satan sent to enslave the black race. Despite their virulence, Sandmann continued to admonish his fellow students not to engage in dialogue with the aggressors.

Next came videos of the Indian in question marching straight at Sandmann and belligerently beating the instrument inches from the boy's face. Here is how we see videos can be manipulated to tell the story as it is framed. With the entire incident filmed at a distance, we see the Indian encroaching upon Sandmann's position. Yet in a closeup, Sandmann's smile remains frozen as if mocking the Indian. With both sides examined, one wonders if Sandmann was trying to fight back tears of humiliation or fear.

Fake News' grievous error was to broadcast the video and report it with the exact prejudice and virulence used against what they call the MAGA Movement. This demonizes any and all Trump supporters as xenophobic, misogynistic and homophobic bigots abiding by fascist philosophy. As Sandmann and his fellow parishioners were wearing the red apparel, they became MAGA fascists by default. The boy and his friends were subjected to the worst possible verbal abuse by leftist media and activists alike. Apparently the boy's parents realized that this would have a horrible impact on his future and decided to seek remedy.

Weeks later it was announced that the Sandmann's attorney Lin Wood had filed a $250 million lawsuit against the Washington Post, who had been the main propagators of the libel. According to the lawsuit, Sandmann had suffered from defamation of character which was a result of the Post's actions in 'leading the charge' of the hordes of slanderers. The 'innocent child was bullied with (an) absolute disregard', causing 'permanent damage'. President Trump immediately applauded the announcement as a retaliatory blow against all who have used 'freedom of the press' as license to destroy the lives of others for commercial and political gain.

 The failed efforts of Fake News to keep the Black Hebrew Israelites out of the spotlight allowed them to easily avoid retribution. In cities such as Kansas City in Missouri, for example, the propagators of this cult stand in public areas such as the downtown Power and Light mall, the Plaza and Westport spewing their venom without consequence. Yet the slightest hint of support for the MAGA slogan sets the leftist media ablaze with fervor as they seek and destroy any public gathering displaying such intent. 

Of greater importance would be for Zinke to initiate a Congressional inquiry as to the reasons behind Indian poverty and lack of development on reservation land. For over a century, Indians have been shown as living in extreme poverty and lacking in all areas of economic opportunity. It seems impossible that this particular demographic has been given no chance to improve their collective lot. When we consider all the equal opportunities given Black, or the open doors available to Yellow, it would be an outrage that Red had no advantage whatsoever. Indeed, the nations of the world rebuked over human rights violations by America would rise in indignation due to lack of it. 

For across the planet since the dawn of man we have seen nomad races roaming the face of the earth. Bedouins in the Middle East, African tribesmen following rain clouds, Mongols seeking suitable hunting and harvest, among dozens of others. Most have been respected for their contributions to the traditions and folklore to their respective nations. Yet we find not one that have been given exclusive rights to significant expanses of their nation's land. Beyond that, the Indian has done nearly nothing to take advantage of that right.

It is well known that, over the last century, oil corporations attempted to make numerous deals to secure drilling rights on Indian land. The incompetence of the bureaucracies have made it impossible for either side to progress. A 2015 report from the Government Accountability Office found that poor management by the Bureau of Indian Affairs hindered energy development and resulted in lost revenue for tribes, according to Reuters. At this juncture, we wonder what can possibly be hindering the Indians from doing what is needed to make their people whole?

One thing is certain: a great Indian leader must rise from the ashes and speak for the people. Our history books speak of Geronimo, Cochise, Sitting Bull, and dozens of others who gave their lives for their people. Why is there no Millenial voice being heard? And of young adults, is there no greater aspiration than to be a casino owner? Or on the other end, the leader of a reservation drug gang? Someone must take a stand and unite the tribes to end Indian poverty and restore the dignity of the people.

According to Forbes, there is an estimated $1.5 trillion of natural resources available on Indian land. There is a discussion of fractionated land ownership, which is a result of inherited land shares being passed down to multiple heirs until becoming relatively worthless. The tribal leaders must bring the people together to sign over their shares until the land is fully accounted for and can be privatized to allow for commercial investment.

President Trump has discussed the options of privatizing Indian land. Here is where his deal-making wizardry and entrepreneurial skills may be of historical importance for the Indian nation. Obviously the Indians will need guidance, and the Trump Administration may hold many keys to helping them secure a trillion-dollar deal. It would be a win-win situation for Indians and oil corporations who would no longer have to invest in foreign lands to earn profits. The elimination of shipping costs alone would save them billions. Some of this could be used in improvements and betterments on reservations as a good-will gesture to help the Indians recover their dignity in a short time.

Once again, the employment of the indigenous population will result in the growth of its community. If young people are able to earn a good salary at the oil wells, they will be able to invest in homes and businesses which would result in the decline of the trailer park syndrome. Many of the elderly would be able to manage the mom-and-pop stores while their children worked. It would put an end to the chronic alcoholism that has ravaged the Indian communities along with hopelessness and despair.

This sounds like a broad and utopian statement, but it is a mirror image of the drug epidemic destroying black communities. If a person has so few options but to go out and work hard for minimum wage, they may well turn to the welfare system and intoxicants to lessen the emotional pain. Yet if there is a possibility of earning $600 a week, this is a game-changer for the person's extended family. He must seize the moment and invest in something for the family to cultivate. Even hauling the trailer to a roadside after a home is purchased can be the start of a lucrative business.

Of paramount importance is interaction between Cabinet leaders, Here is where Ben Carson can step in and implement programs allowing Indians to buy homes and invest in commercial property. The most important factor is the time element. Indians cannot be allowed to think that these advancements are quick fixes to their chronic decline into oblivion. The conservative media must glorify their efforts and use examples of Indian Pride as a guiding light to all ethnicities. When the Indian can seize the moment, he will see substance abuse as a rebuke and disgrace to his people. This is when the ancestral traditions are reborn and the nation rediscovers itself.

Once this happens, will we not see the Indian Territory become a great tourist attraction, a showcase rivaling Las Vegas spanning across the West? Will it no longer remain an endless wilderness interspersed by trailer parks and Indians selling trinkets at rest areas? Will we see theme parks and theaters proclaiming a nation's greatness, from ancient times to the 21st Century?

Our President and the Indian Nation hold the key to the future.

[blainematters]

For your reading pleasure, a selection of awful fucking quotes from CC’s latest *~masterpiece~*. That’s right, I read all 407 pages so you don’t have to! Unless you too are a complete masochist, in which case go nuts.

This is image heavy, fair warning. Some names have been slightly altered to protect the crazies who would read this and cry.

Audiences found the show’s campiness to be rather charming, its unique underdog spirit resonated with them, and a global phenomenon was born. Nice description of Glee there. Very original. Good work.

Pitying looks were cast upon the unfortunate souls without seats, as if they were third-class passengers on the Titanic. The death of 1500 people in the worst maritime disaster in history is not a funny or clever simile.

Luckily for him, these days Cash had a little help to take the edge off. He reached into his pocket and pulled out three large pills and two marijuana gummy bears. This is how the main character treats his anxiety. He takes this combo with whiskey. This apparently makes him ‘completely numb’. 

He thought it was funny how there was hydrocodone, weed, and alcohol flowing through his veins at a work event but he wasn’t the biggest douchebag onstage. Except he really, really is. Funnily enough people on drugs aren’t the best judge of character.

If he responded with something they didn’t like, his social media would be bombarded with pictures, videos, and GIFs of decapitated animals, human feces, and militants destroying priceless artifacts.

“Olá, fucktards,” Davi said—his use of American slang was a work in progress. What. This character is brazilian, and he swears constantly. Those are his only character traits.

“That’s incredible, Huda,” Mo said. “If only diplomacy worked as efficiently as a fandom, there would never be war again.” I’m fucking dying.

“Young lady,” the psychologist said. “I have studied the human mind for more than four decades. I understand the appeal of joining the transgender community, but I promise you, the transgender movement is nothing short of a trend for nonconformists. In fact, it is still considered a mental illness by the World Health Organization.” Sorry, what appeal? What even is this nonsense? Why does it go on for five pages? Why the need to unnecessarily torture the trans character with this when it makes no difference to his storyline? Why?

Mo had suffered from OID (overactive imagination disorder) since childhood. The condition wasn’t officially recognized by the United States Department of Health (because Mo had made it up) but the disorder was just as taxing and consuming as any. From the entire community of people with mental illness: Fuck you CC. Fuck you for this awful, awful thing. Kindly go fuck yourself for pretending you have any understanding of what a mental illness is like to live with. Ugh.

A very good-looking man in his early twenties. He wore thick sunglasses, a black leather jacket, dark jeans, and designer boots. Yes, this is how ‘Cash’ is described. He’s also been previously described as a total mess who hasn’t showered in days, so I’m not totally convinced it’s accurate.

“I’m T0pher C0llins. It is such a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Carter.” T0pher C0llins? Are you fucking shitting me?

“I walked into my bedroom and saw Peaches had taken a huge dump in the middle of my bed, so I had to clean it up and put my comforter in the washer.” This is said by the only girl in the group, in front of ‘Cash’, who she idolises. Because girls are just stupid fucking blabbermouths right?

“-it’s getting asked advice on how to break into the industry from the guy taking a dump in the stall next to you” Oh look, another thing that has never, ever happened.

“You gotta say that shit so no one labels you as a future has-been—that’ll kill a career. Even if it’s obvious you’ll never do anything but the show you’re on, you can’t admit it.” The first honest and realistic thing in this book, and it only took till chapter seven!

“Every time I get any recognition he writes me into a coma or puts me through something horrendous as punishment. After I was on the cover of TV Guide, he put a dangerous stunt into a script and it broke my ankle. After I won a People’s Choice Award, he put my character in a coma for twelve episodes. The list goes on.” I wonder how Ryan Murphy will react when he hears about this character who is so clearly him?

“Nothing is stranger than fanfiction,” Cash said, like a sailor recalling his encounter with a horrible sea creature. THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS REAL LIFE FANFICTION YOU HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE.

“He’s a little jaded, I’ll give you that—but after all the joy he’s given us over the years, the least we can do is let him be a human being. ” Yes, let the straight white cis male tell you all how to think, feel, and act. Your hero isn’t a douche, he’s misunderstood. Let him treat you like shit because who else gets that experience?

The world’s biggest rubber-band ball bounced into the horizon like a deer recently freed from captivity. Chapter nine: ‘Cash’ destroys a national landmark for shits and giggles.

The actor excitedly passed out tickets to Topher, Joey, Sam, and the Sacagawea statue—mistaking it for Mo. He’s also a racist. Are we surprised?

Why is he dancing like an epileptic on roller skates? Aaaaand a joke about epilepsy. I’m sure Hannah loves it.

“What did you do? How did you get over it?” Joey said. “One day I woke up and decided I had had enough.” ‘Cash’ cures his crippling agoraphobia by just going outside. Again, fuck you CC. That is not how mental illness works. Do two seconds of research for fucks sake.

“The night we were all watching the season six finale of Wiz Kids at Joey’s house, I was actually supposed to be watching Billy while my mom was at a Bunco party. I gave him some cold medicine so he would sleep and ran home to check on him every commercial break.” Drug your disabled siblings, your friends will think you’re cool and laugh about instead of telling you  that you’re an awful fucking person. Which you are.

“Then one day, as I was posting a GIF of a decapitated giraffe on her profile, I learned WizKidLiz01 was a little girl with Down syndrome.” Also on the list of things that make you an awful fucking person… plagiarism or no, don’t do this shit.

“So what’s your real name?” Topher asked. “Now, that you’re not going to believe,” Cash said. “It’s Tom Hanks.”

“They were the most eccentric group of stoners Cash had ever seen and he couldn’t take his eyes off them, like they were the subjects of a fascinating nature documentary.” One character is literally screaming her head off with paranoia and scratching invisible bugs in her skin, but hey, watching teenagers on a drug trip is so interesting!

“I think you’re giving him too much credit,” Cash said. “He’ll be long gone by then.” Oh yeah, ‘Cash’ is extremely preoccupied with death. He frequently says shit like this alluding to it. No-one notices.

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to tell the fangirls about the treatment we’ve received today and unleash them upon your establishment like a plague of locusts! They’ll harass you, humiliate you, and chase your wrinkled, old, racist ass into hiding for the rest of your miserable existence! Do I make myself clear?” Um… what? Why would you even?

“Of course the brakes worked, I was just fucking with you,” Cash said. ‘Cash’ continues to be the absolute worst by making someone think she’s going to die. Of course, she somehow she also doesn’t know that James Dean died in a car accident. Sigh.

“But I think we’d know it if he was mentally unbalanced or an addict of some kind.” YOU ARE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD AND YOU ARE A COMPLETE IDIOT. YOU LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBED ‘CASH’.

“You lose the right to humanity when you become famous. It’s just the way it is, but I’m not going to whine about it.” Except in this entire book.

“I’m transgender!” Sam declared. “I know what it’s like to have everyone treat you like something you’re not because people have been doing it to me my whole life. I’ve never met someone who could relate—but it’s like everything you just said! We’re both trapped! We’re both prisoners of unfair expectations!” These! things! are! not! comparable! Mostly because ‘Cash’ could leave that life any time, Sam won’t ever stop having to deal with being trans. Shut the fuck up CC. Sam then spends waaaay too much time explaining gender and sexual identity to ‘Cash’ because he’s a complete moron.

Darla spoke with the energy and enthusiasm of a camp counselor on crystal meth. How is this joke in any way appropriate when the main character is clearly a raging drug addict? He’s literally constantly tweaking.

The others stared at Cash in disbelief. It was like a demon living inside of him had taken the reins. Watch as these people we’re supposed to believe all got into prestigious colleges like Colombia and MIT completely fail to recognise the signs of an addict going through withdrawal.

They had never in their lives felt more exposed, more violated, or more gutted. It was as if someone had ripped off all their clothes and chucked their hearts into the depths of the Grand Canyon. ‘Cash’ is so self-obsessed and full of self-pity he decides to out two people in the group and tell another she’s wasting her life just to make them all feel as awful as he does. What a delightful person huh?

“Joey, I have always wanted a gay best friend. I’m not mad because you hid your orientation from me; I’m just upset because of all the Will & Grace opportunities we’ve missed out on.” ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

He was staring at Topher with a weak smile and his eyes were opened just barely enough to see. He clearly knew who Topher was, but Topher couldn’t place him.

“I have glioblastoma,” Cash said. “That’s a fancy stage name for brain cancer.”

I was fine and could easily hide this until a few days ago, but now I’m so weak and frail you don’t even recognise me. Usually Glioblastoma on the brain stem causes symptoms like seizures, confusion, paralysis, vomiting, dizziness, and loss of basic functions, but I’m a special snowflake and get to stay able-bodied and cognisant until the end!

“In April I started getting these really bad migraines,” Cash explained. “A doctor came to the set and recommended I get a scan. We were behind in production so the producers wouldn’t give me time off to get it done.” It’s all Hollywood’s fault he’s dying! Not his for not getting any fucking treatment. And actors can and do take days off for health reasons, that shit is totally allowed.

“Holy shit,” Topher said. “These are all mine.… You’ve saved every letter I ever wrote to you.…” That’s not totally fucking creepy at all, ‘Cash’.

“He’s not a bad person—he’s got brain cancer! That’s why he’s been behaving the way he has!” That makes everything okay! Except not really. Cancer doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole. You aren’t making the most of what life you have left, you’re just being a shithead.

“The actor had had so little control over his life, but his death was exactly how he wanted it to be.” Yes, he dies five days later. No-one wondered about his odd behaviour or suspected he might be sick until they visited him in a hospice. These people must be so stupid they can barely function for this to make sense. He’s been dying for months and nobody at all noticed? Bullshit.

“Oh gosh, I’m so nervous to hear how it went! I practically feel like I came out as transgender, too!” NO MORE.

“Not to be a downer, but did anyone watch the footage from Cash’s funeral today?” Mo asked. “Why did they wait a whole month to have it?” Topher asked. “Because it was sponsored by Canon and their new camera comes out this week,” Mo said.

I don’t think companies generally sponsor funerals? Let’s just hope it wasn’t an open casket, that shit would be nasty after a month.

“Fuck off, I’m banging Marilyn Monroe.” No, god no. Please no. Just end this thing now please.

The aspiring writer felt like she and her friends were living a ridiculous happy ending straight from the final page of one of her outlandish stories. Uh…

And a bonus from the author’s note:

However, for the purpose of good storytelling, the characters’ opinions and choices are sometimes flawed. Please do not view their actions as generalizations or examples to follow, but as the mistakes and triumphs of individuals. All of my characters were awful and/or treated like shit by everyone else, but that’s for the sake of the story. It’s not my fault if you act this way and everyone hates you! (And still love me please god I’m so alone...)

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 4 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 4 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down.

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An: Hey, all! And welcome back to The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. At this point, episodes one, two, and three are up, I’m super happy with some of the responses I got. People said a lot of encouraging things to me about my own stories I told. It’s really gratifying to bare your soul and have people respond positively. It’s strange that I wasn’t even planning on telling such stories when I recorded episode one, but I’m glad I decided to be real with you all. Obviously, I got some negative responses too, but in cases like these, they’re best ignored. 

So let’s get on to the episode! Today’s episode continues with the vibe of the previous one. Lots of positive energy to go around. Last time, Emmy starting dating Selena, came out as trans, and started loving herself. It was great to see her perspective on such positive things, but there is a clear difference this time around. Emmy has started conversing with Selena through reblogs on her Tumblr. So we get to see how they interact as a couple, and the things that they do together.

We’ll start off with a rather affectionate series of posts that contains a bit of cool news. I’ll try and do a distinct enough voice for when Selena is talking, but just in case it’s not enough, I’m going to say when the switch happens outloud.

Starting off with Emmy,

“Here’s my newest piece of art that I made! And it’s a very special picture, too! Can you guess why?” There was likely a photo that started off this thread, but again, I didn’t save any of Emmy’s art. Selena responds with,

“Omg bae, this can’t be what I think it is? Could it be the one you were telling me so much about?”

Emmy Continues,

“Yeah, it is! It’s my first commission! Someone wanted me to draw their OC in my style, and so they gave me a 20 dollar Steam code in exchange! I feel almost legitimate now!”

Then Selena writes,

“Emmy, don’t be silly. You’ve always been a legitimate artist. From the time you started drawing until today, you’ve always been legitimate. Your art is wonderful, and I can’t wait to see your next work!

Emmy responds with,

“Aww, you’re the sweetest! Maybe I’ll dedicate my next piece to you.”

And it continues a bit, but that gives us a good idea of their chemistry together. Now, I don’t remember these posts from the time they were first written, so I only really saw the picture once. I don’t remember it well, but I think it was a full-body shot of a punk character in Emmy’s sort of feminine style. I sort of regret not saving the pictures, but then again, how would I show them to you? 

But I want to point out how natural and sweet these two are together. They’re good for one another, and it really shows in this post. I’m also noticing that Emmy’s imposter syndrome is toned down at this point in time. I think that’s mostly due to Selena’s influence, because it can still crop up even when you’re getting paid. Though we should take a minute to celebrate Emmy getting paid, because getting commissioned is a big deal! Normally discussing prices associated with your art turns people off it completely. So I’m really glad she made some progress.

Next up we have another post with both of them talking, and the topic is rather serious. This time, they’re advocating for trans rights. They’re both against Bathroom Bills being passed. For those of you who don’t know, every once in a while, America tries to legislate where trans folk are allowed to use the bathroom. In Emmy’s state, they want to force people to use the bathroom labelled by their “birth sex”. I’ll let Emmy and Selena explain further. Emmy starts us off,

“I know I’m a little late to the party, but fuck this bathroom bill bullshit! I can’t believe the government wants to decide where we can pee yet again! I don’t go out much, but when I do, I obviously have to use the boy’s bathroom because I’m still in the closet to my dad. But when I do, it just feels awful. It’s another reminder that I don’t look like how I feel on the inside. It may sound dumb, but I honestly feel defeated every time I get misgendered by that dumb sign. I hate it, and I know other trans girls like me feel the same way. To make it illegal for us to use the girl’s bathroom even if we pass is straight bullshit! Fight for trans rights and oppose this stupid bill!”

Selena reblogs this, writing,

“I agree entirely. And I feel the same way when I’m forced to use the men’s room. Like, I am not a man??? So I don’t think that works for me. People say that without this bill, trans women will attack cis women in washrooms. However, that’s just a fear tactic that relies on the idea of trans women being predatory. Which is not the case!!! Say no to this bill! Trans rights are human rights!”

You tell them, girls! Trans rights are indeed human rights. And humans have the right to use the bathroom without fear of being arrested or beat up. Because that’s the choice a lot of us face when we don’t fully pass. Like, sometimes I go out in dresses or flannels with the buttons on the other side, and if I have to use a public restroom, *sigh* I face a difficult choice. Do I go to the men’s room and risk getting beat up for dressing a certain way? Or do I go to the lady’s room and risk getting kicked out of the building? Honestly, it’s not so bad for me, because it’s illegal to be beat up or kicked out due to one’s gender expression in Canada, but just because it’s illegal, doesn’t mean someone won’t try it. In America, under these types of bathroom bills, people who are mid-transition or non-binary would have to make very difficult choices if they needed to use a bathroom in public. Even folks who fully pass would have to risk getting arrested in order to use the washroom they would appear to belong in. *Sigh* Trying to hold it in may be safer sometimes, and that’s honestly messed up.

These two posts I did see when they initially posted them. I was very proud of them for advocating for trans rights. Though honestly, when you’re trans it’s kind of hard not to advocate for yourself. It’s a position without the privilege to turn a blind eye to injustices, you see. You can’t help but see how badly people like you are treated, so many of us speak up and try and be heard. We often fail. 

Sorry, I don’t mean to be a downer. *Sigh* These topics just get to me sometimes, and I think it’s important to share what I’m feeling about this, especially in case you don’t have a trans person in your life at the moment. 

Ok! So our next few posts are about a less serious topic, but one that Emmy and Selena are both very passionate about: Overwatch. I should explain that in competitive video games, developers will change the power levels of their characters in order to make the game more to their liking. Or, as it usually goes, to try and make it so that the community likes it more. The two of them are talking about one of those changes. Emmy starts us off with a post titled,

“Not My Girl!

Nooo, I can’t believe they’re nerfing Mercy! Blizzard just announced that they’re changing it so that mercy can no longer do a 5-man rez. In fact, she can only rez one hero at a time now. Why? What was the problem with how it was before? Now her ultimate is flying around, which she could already do in a pharmercy! If she’s really, really different I probably won’t even play anymore…”

Then we get a reblog from Selena,

“Noooo, bae! If you stop playing, who will I play with? You can’t seriously want to quit playing! Maybe new Mercy will be really good, we don’t know yet. Let’s at least wait until the patch comes and see what everyone else thinks.”

And we get a final response from Emmy,

“You’re right, I wouldn’t want to stop playing with you over this. That would be weird to not play Overwatch together anymore. I just hope that Blizzard knows what they’re doing this time. I mean, I may have to pick a new main, but I swear I’ll still play with you!”

It can be common for changes to Overwatch to be met with a lot of resistance. A lot of the time, when something you love about the game changes drastically, it can make sense to want to play something else. It is a little ironic that Emmy is worried about Mercy in this particular change, as it actually boosted her power level to the highest it ever was. So much so, there was like a year following it of nerfs to bring Mercy’s power down. I wonder what the two of them would think about the newest changes to the game? 

Although, I didn’t save any of her art, I do remember her personal art being a lot more light hearted at this point. There’s the obvious couple-y pictures but then there’s the more abstract stuff. Let’s just say that the imagery with chains and the like were gone from her work. That is, until after this post I’m about to read. *Sigh* I feel the need to warn you all first that it really changes the tone of the episode. If you’re not up for it, put this episode aside until you are. The post is titled,

“My Dad Read My Discord Messages

Sorry I haven’t been posting the past couple of days, some awful shit has happened to me. So I was a complete idiot and left Discord open on my phone. My Dad was suspicious of me, I guess, so he went through my phone and read through my conversations with Selena. And what he saw, he really didn’t approve of. Not only does he know I’m trans, but he knows I’m dating a latina girl. 

He was really fucking mad, I could tell from his handwriting from the letter he wrote to me. I can’t tell if he was more upset about me dating a girl, or that she was latina. After I confronted him with a letter of my own, he yelled at me. He knows I can’t understand him when he does that, but he did it anyways. In his first letter, he said it was a sin against God to have thoughts like this, and I’m sure he repeated it a lot out loud, too. I’m really afraid that he’s going to send me to conversion therapy or some shit like that, but then again, that would mean sending me out into the real world. What if he tries to convert me himself? I’m scared that he’s going to try and hurt me. But Leelah’s Law makes conversion therapy illegal right? But still…

He’s taken discord off my phone, which sucks, but at least I still have Tumblr. I’ll just have to make sure I log out every time now. I’m really happy that I have Selena on my side, my Dad can’t stop our love!”

Remember when I said Emmy’s Dad was kind of a piece of shit? This is what I had in mind. The fact that Emmy isn’t even sure that he won’t try and convert her forcibly really shows what kind of person he is. And I hate to say this, but Leelah’s Law only makes conversion therapy Illegal for minors. Emmy is over 18 at this point, so it’s not illegal if she is coerced to accepting the “help” needed to make her no longer trans. Not like conversion therapy actually makes you not queer, *sigh* it’s all a load of shit anyways. 

I don’t really feel the need to discuss why violating your child’s privacy is an awful thing to do, and I don’t think I need to explain why using religion as an excuse to hate doesn’t absolve you of being a bigot. I’m kind of not in the mood to do so either way. We have more episode to get through, and it’s not going to be pretty. 

Our next post is another one of Selena’s poems. But before I read it, I need to give a little context. I debated including a post before this one that talked a bit about Selena’s family situation, but I decided against it because this podcast is supposed to be about Emmy. It’s easier if I give a few facts here instead. 

So Selena doesn’t really have the most understanding family when it comes to queer issues, so although she’s been identifying as trans longer than Emmy has, she too has been completely closeted. Selena has several siblings, including some sisters, one of which is about the same clothing size as her. *Sigh* You may see where I’m going with this. I remember seeing a post on Selena’s tumblr where she talked about secretly wearing her sister’s clothes a couple of times, and getting away with it. I have a feeling she pushed her luck too far shortly after she made that post. Again, if you’re not ready to hear a post like this, there’s nothing wrong with putting the episode aside until you are. The poem is called, 

“My Truth Reduced to Lies

What do you do when the punishment doesn’t fit the crime? Or if there was no crime in the first place? 

When all I wanted was to appear as I feel, 

How dare you tell me what I did was wrong?

My radiance ripped into timidness 

My dignity pushed into shame

My integrity beaten into obedience

My daring smashed into fear

My truth reduced to lies

You tell me that being draped in belonging is worthy of this punishment?

I tell you you’re the evil ones

If my mistake was to be as I feel, it’s something I will never do again

But if I’m forced to live a lie, should I live at all?”

*Sigh* And then Emmy reblogged it saying: “Please don’t tell me this means what I think it does...:”

I’m so sorry Emmy, but I think it does mean what you think. *Deep breath* I feel so awful about this, because this poem never crossed my dashboard. I would have said something! I would have messaged Selena and… I don’t know, what I could have done… but it would have been better than doing nothing! *Sigh* I’m not really in the mood to give my usual analysis or whatever of the post, and I definitely don’t have some magical story from my life that will tie it all together in a neat little bow. 

*Tearing up* Like, people treat trans kids like this, and then wonder why our suicide rate is so damn high! The life expectancy for a trans woman is like 40 years! Things aren’t magically fixed because we’re now trending on Twitter or some shit! They beat her. They beat her because of who she was, and I can’t… *sobbing* I just can’t right now, this episode is over.

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Hey all, An here. I’m sorry about breaking down before. This is me recording again on a different day. I took a much-needed break from things, practiced some self care, and I’m feeling more centred than last time. I think I got too close emotionally to the subject matter. *Sigh* I doubt I was giving good commentary, I just sort of shut down before I started… well, you know. Anyways, I’m recording this because the episode is in fact, not over. There’s more to discuss here before we can end things off, otherwise the last episode of the season becomes too much to digest in one sitting. 

I feel a little dumb for blowing up like I did, but I think it’s important that I leave it in the podcast. I want to take this journey together, and it feels wrong to hide my emotions from you all. I want to be real with you, you know? But yes, I’m feeling better, so let’s get started. The posts are still of an upsetting nature, by the way. That will be the norm for a while. Emmy posts something titled: “I Don’t Know

I don’t know how I let everyone talk me into putting myself out there, I’m such a piece of shit. My art is trash, just like me. It will always be shit, I improve too slowly for it to mean anything. I hate looking at it, so you probably do too. 

Things are bad with my Dad. He won’t respond to me, and the way he looks at me now, it’s so full of hate. Not like I don’t deserve it. 

To top it all off, Selena dumped me yesterday. Can you blame her? I certainly can’t. Why did I ever believe I was worth dating? So much for fate, I guess… “

Yikes. It’s clear, to me at least, that this isn’t our Emmy talking. It’s her depression from being Bi-Polar talking here. She had several terrible things happen to her in such a short time, that her mental illness has essentially taken over. Selena breaking up with her is sort of the last straw. But I really don’t think it happened because Selena no longer had feelings for Emmy, but because she’s going through a lot right now with her whole family against her. Honestly, being in a relationship with someone who reminds you of being trans was probably too much to handle when you’re being forced back into the closet. I did see this post, and I offered some words of encouragement to Emmy and told her that things get better. It’s something you hear a lot, but I believe it’s true. At least I want to believe it’s true. I don’t know if she ever read it, because I never got a response to that message. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! I hope I didn’t take you on too much of a ride today. Sending my best wishes to anyone who is feeling down right now. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!