#he gives me intense gender envy

[mx-giraffe]

We’re losing it, girlies.

My brain can’t decide between mha brain rot and jshk brain rot.

It’s at war with itself.

Who made these gifs? Because I found them all under uncle iroh and they were in order. Good job to whoever it was honestly.

Now, back to the matter at hand.

To

Or to

And

OH

ORRRR THIRD OPTION

To

I can actually hear my partner saying “OR, babe, fourth option: you could, crazy idea, go the fuck to sleep”

[satellite-runner]

i’m bez sketching

[necrophiliak]

♪♪

[phonegilgi]

slutty waist long hair stubble Dave Miller fanart... save me..

slutty waist long hair stubble Dave Miller fanart

save me slutty waist long hair stubble Dave Miller fanart

[hippopotatoe]

i want giles to be my silly little boyfriend

[sweetkiitsunez]

HI I'M THE ONE WHO REQUESTED THE RECENT SMUT, IF U WANNA MAKE IT PUBLIC UR GONNA HAVE TO POST IT AGAIN I THINK, I SEARCHED IT UP AND I DON'T THINK U CAN MAKE IT PUBLIC, I'M SO SAURI

PLS TELL ME U HAVE A COPY OF IT

❞𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 - synopsis: being sandwiched by two kings

❞warning: nsfw content (18+) + sub!Gender neutral!reader + threesome + dacryphilia + double penetration + degradation and praising + Dom!Lucifer and Dom!Levithan + unprotective sex + size kink (?) + deepthroat + creampies + dubxon(?) + errors + being slap by Levithan

a/n: repost bcs I literally had a major panic attack when my smut was accidentally privated anyway!! problem fixed!! now I can relax now _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _

"ngh...ah...ah..." the sound of moans coming from your mouth as you're being sandwiched by two kings. King of Pride, Lucifer is holding your thighs as he is licking your tears. King of Envy, Levithan is thrusting his hips destroying your hole. Your back is leaning on Lucifer's chest as he opens your legs wider for Levithan to thrust.

You don't remember how you got yourself into this mess. You remember being cornered by two powerful kings and then your clothes are gone or ripped into shreds.

"Fuck... you're tight..." the King of Envy groans as he thrust his cock inside your hole. He has gone into a quicker and faster pace. In and out of your hole

"Hmm... look Solomon of Descendant. You're doing good..." Lucifer praised as his sharp black fingernails poked your cheeks, so he could taste your tears. You could feel Lucifer's crotch rising from his pants. Levithan is the only person that is fucking your hole.

"Ngh... s-slow down. N-ngh, a-ah! ah!" You moaned as you placed your hand on his chest, groping his right chest as he let out a husky moan.

You can feel the tip of Levithan's cock hitting your g-spot as you couldn't help letting out a loud cry, although that makes Lucifer ten times more excited to hear your cries. His crotch raised as it hit your buttocks.

"Hmph, you're... ngh, sensitive, slut..." Levithan scoffs as he slowly pulls out his cock halfway into your hole. Hearing your whiny cries makes Lucifer hard. He loves hearing your cries and your moans. It sounds like music to his ears. He wants to know how does your insides feel like? Is it tight...?

"Let's not bully, Solomon of Descendant, Levithan," Lucifer said as he leaned his chin on your right shoulder. While the tip of his fingernails drawing circles on your perky nipples as your body trembles.

Levithan made a scrawl look on his face. His jealousy is slowly hitting him as he gives Lucifer an intense stare. You're already worn out for some reason.

"Let's share our little Solomon of Descendant, King Levithan, how about that?" Lucifer wraps his arms around your naked waist as he looks at Levithan. Of course, the King of Envy wants you, all for himself. He hates sharing with other Kings or other Noble Demons. Lucifer seems to see his hint of jealousy as he gropes your chest, twists and pulls your nipples and you let out a squeal. Your head is leaning against Lucifer's shoulder as your eyes roll back to your skull as you stick your tongue out.

"Hmph, I would like to see you try..." Levithan gives Lucifer the same scrawling look. He doesn't want to give up on you for Lucifer nor want to share with others. Does sound like a challenge to him. He would love to see your fuck face with his cum all over your face and insides.

"Your tongue is truly extraordinary..." He lifts your chin and his thumbs open your mouth as he rubs his thumb on your tongue. You look amazing when your dazed eyes look at his cold ones. "Open your mouth for me, slut."

You could tell that Lucifer and Levithan were switching positions and you were onto all four positions. You were immediately been slapped in the face by Levithan's angry dick in front of your face. Slender and beautiful... there's his pre-cum appearing on the tip of his cock. So delicious... your jaw trembled as you opened your mouth wide for him, just like Levithan requested. You could feel Lucifer's sharp nails holding onto your hips. You shift your gaze to Lucifer...

Your eyes widen when you see his size compared to Mammon. There's no way that "thing" will fit into your hole! He will break you apart!

"T-Too big, Lucifer!" You cried. "Y-You're gonna break me apart!"

"Stay still, don't move your hips, love..." Lucifer's soft words spoke. The tip of his large cock kisses your walls as you let out a closed whine.

Levithan doesn't seem to like it when your attention is focused on Lucifer. He grips your hair as he shoved his whole length into your mouth, completely deepthroating you as you gag and choke on his cock. He loved your fucked facial expression as he grips your hair hard enough to pull some strands. He let out a pornographic groan as his whole length is into your mouth down to your throat.

"Your mouth... oh... it's warm..." Levithan groans as he leans his head back.

"I'm putting it in, Solomon..." Lucifer leaned in as he whispered into your ear. He isn't rough like Levithan as he gently pushed his length through your walls and into your insides. Your eyes roll back in your skull as he is inside your hole. Oh god... he is big...

"You're tight... ah... be good for me, okay?" Lucifer chuckles as he rubs your bums.

Levithan is busy fucking your mouth as you couldn't answer Lucifer. The sound of your gag and choke and Levithan's moans as he is deepthroating your throat. Lucifer seems gentle as he moves his hips against yours. You could feel the tip of his cock kissing your g-spot every time he moves. It's good... It feels so good..

However, it didn't last long as Lucifer is starting to pick up the pace as he roughly fucking your hole. Levithan takes it as a challenge as he continues to deepthroat your mouth at a faster pace. Your jaw feels so sore. Lucifer continues to stretch your walls as he continues to ram your insides.

"F-fuck... you're taking me so well, slut..." Levithan groans as his dazed eyes look into yours. He is covered in sweats and his cheeks are flustered soft red. Lucifer is loving this... you're so much smaller than him. He wants to eat you... or take you away from Levithan and continue to destroy your hole.

"J-Just a little more..." Lucifer mumbled. "Ah... Look how good you take it."

Levithan let out a scoff as he gave Lucifer the coldest glare. He is praising them? How pathetic... You are just a slut for him. A good cumdump or a fuck toy where Levithan can, "hang" you.

"U-ugh! Mm-! Aah-!" Levithan could feel his orgasm was reaching. Your teary eyes... too bad that Lucifer couldn't see it as he is behind you. He just wipes it with his black gloves. "Fuck... your throat... A-ah! Mm...! I-I'm cumming... be still s-slut!" He let out a heavy moan as he thrust his hips into your mouth.

"I'm cumming... Aah... nngh! God, you're so tight..." Lucifer lets out a shaky moan as he continues to thrust his hips against yours. The sound continues to thrust his hips against yours. The sound of wet skin slapping echoes throughout the room. Your eyes roll back as you feel warm semen enter your body. You just let out a muffled cry as you feel Levithan's semen. Lucifer is filling you with his cum as he slowly pulls it out after his orgasm. Levithan pulls out cock out of your mouth as he harshly cup your cheeks.

"Open your mouth for me, slut." He commends with a cold, sultry voice. You slowly open your mouth as your tongue sticks out covered in his cum.

"Drink it, whore. I want it gone." He said as you closed your mouth as you swallow his cum, before showing it to him. He seems satisfied.

You're so tired all of a sudden... you wanted to close your eyes until you heard Levithan spoke up.

"I don't care if it takes all night, you will submit." You could see his eyes glowing as he met yours. You knew that you were good as dead meat.

"Aah! Nngh! O-oh god...! F-fuck! A-ah!" The sound of your high-pitched moan as you are being sandwiched by Lucifer and Levithan. You are leaning on Lucifer's chest since Levithan is still giving dirty glares at Lucifer while he fucks your hole and giving your attention away to Lucifer. He luckily gives in, since he doesn't want to deal with Levithan's envious as long he is taking you, very well. Two cocks are deeply inside you while Lucifer is supporting you as he spread and held your thighs wide while they're fucking you. You had no idea how long they had been penetrating your holes. You already feel so full... You could see your stomach bulge due to Levithan''s cock is moving in your walls.

"N-ngh!! W-wa! A-ah! M-More, please! Mmm!! Aah!!" You scream while Lucifer and Levithan are destroying you as they are thrusting roughly. Being fucked on the bed, then now you're being lifted or carried. You don't remember how many times that you had come. Your thighs are already wet, and now you're hearing loud sloppy wet noises of skin slapping.

"Did you come already? Tsk, such a whore." Levithan scoffs as he looks into your faced face. "So weak..."

"Solomon, you did so well..." You hear Lucifer whisper some praises in your ears as he leans into licks your tears. His tongue is sharp like sandpaper.

"Tsk, why are you praising them? They're such a crybaby..." He taunts Lucifer, but he doesn't seem to care as he is much more focused on your delicious tears and your cries that turned him on.

"N-nghm...! N-no more...! S-so full..." You moaned as you placed your hands on Levithan's shoulders as he held your thighs to spread it wider.

"Hmph, you seem more sensitive than usual." Levithan pointed it out as he continued to thrust his hips against you, his hand gripping harshly on your sore cheekbones to make him look into his eyes.

"Be gentle with them..." Lucifer let out a sultry groan as he continued to grind his hips against you.

You couldn't answer them as they're fucking you really good. They're so big... as if they're ready to rip you apart. Being fucked by the most beautiful demons in Hell. Your orgasm is approaching behind you. The light is so bright that you feel like your eyelids are getting heavier. You were immediately being slap on the face by Levithan with annoyed look on his face.

"Pay attention, slut." He said with a sultry voice as he pulled your face closer to his and his lips pressed against yours. Hearing your muffled moans and cries when his tongue swirls against yours.

"Hah... ngh...! L-leaving me behind, heh... ah..." Lucifer chuckled with a smirk as he leaned against your neck and gently blew your marked neck covered with bite marks and hickeys from Lucifer and Levithan. Lucifer's bite mark was the painful one, but he liked it when you cried out loud, turning him on, again. Levithan pulls away from you and leaves a trail of saliva as he ignores Lucifer's remarks. "Hmph... ngh!"

Levithan and Lucifer are close as their thrust is getting more intense. You have no idea how much you came as there is your sex liquids are now dripping from your hole onto the floor. Your legs is on Levithan's shoulders.

"You like it that much, hm?" Levithan groans as his eyes are focused on you. He felt envy for you being pressured. He is gonna come as he let out another grunt. "If you want to cum you'd better beg."

"You look good all soaking wet..." Lucifer hums as he leans forward from behind as he licks your tears. "Such a good human..."

"G-gonna c-cum...!! N-ngh!! A-ah!! Ah! pleaseplease! L-let me cum!! A-ah! Aaah!!" You babbles as you look at Levithan with a pleading look your head leaning against Lucifer's sweaty chest.

Lucifer looks at Levithan who doesn't look pleased. "Let them cum." The fallen angel said as he snuggled between your neck and shoulder.

Levithan could only roll his eyes as he let out, "Fine, let them cum... We're not stopping anyways... Ngh! Aaah...!"

Lucifer doesn't say anything as he is focusing on his orgasm and yours too. "F...fuck... you're good... cry for me. Cry for me, Solomon..." Lucifer groans hearing his heavy breathing.

You could feel cums shooting your insides as you release your orgasm and leans on Lucifer's sweaty chest, all tired. Lucifer and Levithan seem to release their orgasm when they shoot their cums in your fucked hole. Hear the panting in the room, but their cocks are still inside you as they want to keep their cums deep in your hole preventing them from spilling out.

You felt Levithan grab your arm as it shook you. His eyes is still filled with lust as if he is possessed.

"We're not done, yet Descendants of Solomon..." Levithan let out a sadistic smile. His grip is tight.

"Bare with us, Descendants of Solomon..." Lucifer places his hand on your shoulder while the other one is supporting your hips.

This is gonna be a long night...

[my-my-my]

KINKTOBER DAY 8 - Masturbation: Jugram Haschwalth x Female Reader

By popular vote, this is posted today!

Summary: The seasons come and go. Summer, spring, autumn, and winter leave memories of you, your piano and knight Jugram Haschwalth, haunting your mind.

TW: MDNI! This is a historical AU (the time period is purposefully unclear), where you are Yhwach’s niece. Classism, implied gender and class roles, unrequited feelings, infidelity, arranged marriage. Mutual masturbation. This is kind of melancholic for the most part.

Word count: (the longest so far!) 4548

Read on AO3 here.

It’s autumn and you’re standing on the tips of your toes to watch the new pages practice with wooden swords.

They look small, like you, with childlike wonder as they hold their makeshift swords. Their eyes are filled with wonder and excitement. Except for one.

One of the shortest of the bunch, a boy with brilliant blonde hair, looks at his sword with concern and hesitation. He gives it a weak swing; you swear he looks like he’s trembling. Another boy, with dark red hair, yells at him, scaring the blonde boy, forcing his head up. You press your face against the window for a better look.

“He’s so pretty.” You said out loud, when one of your maids tugs your hand away from the scene.

“Mistress! Remove your face from the window this instance!” Your caretaker rushes to you, pulling you away from the view below. “You must attend your piano lessons. Don’t mind those boys.” Your caretaker scolds you, holding your hand firmly as you’re led away from the window. As you move away, you see the little blonde boy look up and you give him a wave as you’re pulled away.

It's autumn and you rather be playing outside in the fallen leaves with the blonde boy who doesn’t want to hold his sword.

Your piano teacher waits for you in the music room, where your black, grand piano awaits. It’s massive compared to your piano teacher, it’s even bigger compared to you. The piano is near another window, one that is open. The light breeze fills the room with a faint scent of fallen leaves and the grunts and yelps of the pages practicing outside. Your piano teacher, a lean, young man with blonde hair but not as pretty as the blonde boy outside you thought, approaches you. He gave you a grin, “little lady, you’ve kept me waitin’!” His voice has a bit of an accent, you were told he came from lands “far, far away.”

Your caretaker taps your shoulder, reminding you of your manners, “I’m sorry Mr. Hirako. Please excuse my tardiness.” You recite, your tone monotonous. Words repeated and echoed through your etiquette training.

Mr. Hirako lets out a snicker, “don’t worry about it, miss. Let’s get you warmed up with some scales.”

You watch your caretaker leave the room once Mr. Hirako ushers you to your seat. The notes glide off your fingertips, as Mr. Hirako watches you with intensity. Scale after scale, note after note, your music fills the room, echoing nearby.

The pages, who were done for the day, walk away from their practice session. But the little blonde boy hears the distant sound of piano playing and walks closer. He watches you, the little girl from the window. He stares at you in awe and envy, as he listens to your music playing. “Jugo! Whatcha doin’?! We gotta hurry back, Sister Retsu will get angry at us if we’re late!” The red-haired boy from earlier yells, slapping “Jugo’s” back. He pulls at the blonde boy’s sleeves, dragging him away from the window, while the blonde boy just stares until you’re out of his view.

It’s winter and beautiful. Fresh snow covers your manor in a haunting shade of white. It leaves your manor in absolute silence. There is no one around, and so you open the window in your piano room. There’s a slight chill in the air, but you love it nonetheless. The atmosphere helps you with your concentration.

Your recital approaches and you stare at your music sheets. You read over Mr. Hirako’s instructions and tips to steel yourself for your first recital. Little slips of paper stick out of your music books, while notes and coloured markings fill sections on what you need to practice, reminders to yourself of mistakes you have made.

You warm up with selections from Hanon’s Virtuoso Pianist. Scales, arpeggios and everything in between fly from your fingers. It feels effortless, your mind is focused and clear. You begin the first piece of your recital’s repertoire, Bach’s Fugue No. 16 from the second book of his Well-Tempered Clavier. The notes start heavy, with your fingers increasing in speed as bars fly from your vision.

Snap.

You stop playing, the loud snap shaking you out of your concentration. An animal wouldn’t have made such loud noises, it sounded like footsteps, you thought. You peer down the window and see the blonde boy of your youth, now a squire. His blonde hair is past his ears now, and he dons a black, long-sleeved tunic with your uncle’s family crest above his chest with white pants. He looks startled to see you, as you are of him.

You give him a polite smile and wave to him, but he doesn’t respond. It wasn’t just his hair that grew, you realized. The pages who trained endlessly, day after day, in sunshine, rain or snow, have now became squires. The changing of seasons and time reflected their physical growth as well. The blonde boy was now a teen, and he was tall, taller than you are now.

“Wait!” You yell at him, as he begins to walk away. You run through your manor, pushing past servants until you see him outside.

It’s winter and terribly cold, but you don’t care. The blonde teen looks startled to see you, and you were right, he was taller than you.

“Mistress, you shouldn’t be out here.” His voice is shaky as he tries step away from you.

“I’m fine!” You shout. He smiles weakly at you.

“How can I be of service to you, Mistress?” The teen asks, bowing his head at you.

You click your tongue disapprovingly, “we’re the same age, right?” You say, introducing yourself and extending your hand. The teen avoids your gaze and open palm as he whispers your name.

He ignores your question, “I’m Jugram Haschwalth, Lord Yhwach’s squire.” He says, finally looking at you. Hesitation and anxiousness fill his voice.

His eyes are a brilliant shade of green, reminding you of the meadows in springtime. You repeated his name over and over again, “I’ll definitely be able to remember that! And besides, I knew you were one of my uncle’s squires.” You laughed, “I just didn’t know your name.”

“Oh, right…” Jugram said softly.

The winter chill is creeping up through your clothes, as the two of you stand awkwardly.

“You’ll do anything I say, Jugram?” You ask, as you stare at him, you notice his posture, the way he slouches, and how he holds his arm behind his back.

He looks at you briefly, then looks away, “yes.”

“Then come listen to me practice!” You exclaim, “I need an audience anyways. I have my first recital coming.” You beamed at him, trying to get Jugram to relax a little.

He looks at you and then back to his feet, “I can’t –” and he immediately regrets his words, as disappoint washes over your face, “I mean, I can stay for one song.” He offers.

You give him a grin and bring him inside.

Music fills the room as Jugram watches you play. His back is straight as an arrow, but not out of confidence, but out of nerves. I don’t belong here, he thinks to himself.

But your music snaps him out of his thoughts as you continue to play your pieces. Before he even realizes, he’s smiling as he watches you play. You beamed at him from your seat, as you continued to play. You look back to your music sheets and close your eyes, your fingers having memorized every note and crescendo.

You come to a stop. Without looking up, you ask “Will you come to my recital, Jugram?” But he was gone. The room empty once again.

It’s spring, and you’re struggling to breathe. Your caretaker watches you as the seamstress tightens your corset. Your débutante ball is tonight and all your etiquette training, tutoring and classes prepared you for this night. You were to be presented as a young woman of upper society.

You looked at yourself in the mirror: rosy lips, lashes long and thick, hair styled tastefully, with an exceptionally beautiful silk ball gown. An elegant necklace drapes over your décolletage, with matching earrings already in place. You were to be a vision to guests and suitors alike.

It’s spring and you were dreading nightfall. Upper society was so stiff with its rules and mannerisms. Your one solace was your piano. As the seamstress continues her tightening, you stare at your hands, covered in matching silk gloves as your dress. Long and thin, evidence of the years of piano playing etched on every single finger. You chuckled to yourself as the memories of Mr. Hirako’s tutelage floods your mind.

You rather prepare for another recital than for a ball. Sighing, you turned your head and looked out the window, the setting sun in the distance. It fills your room and the nearby meadows with a golden glow.

You wonder if Jugram will be there tonight. It had been a few years since that day in the music room. He never came to your recital, but he was always around the manor, practicing, training, preparing with the other squires.

Well, you gave a quiet laugh, he wasn’t a squire anymore. The once shy boy and nervous teen was now a calm, talented and confident knight. A faint blush spreads your face at the thought of him. He would politely engage with you if you were nearby, asking you about your music, how you were, and what was occupying your time, but he would never acknowledge your first recital, or any recitals you invited to him after that. On the rare occasion he would sit and listen to you to play, maybe that’s a recital in it of itself, you mused. He would applaud you once you were finished but spoke only a few words about your music and talent.

You two would be in the same room, but sometimes it felt like you were distances apart. A wall between him and you that your only your music would lower.

You weren’t sure if he was a friend or not. You would watch him from afar, how he commanded his small troop with a cool confidence. His once bruise-covered, shaking arms, held his sword and shield with grace and poise, while he was distant and cold with his men, there was a soft, respectful and caring tone with you.

The seamstress stepped away from you, finished with your dress and admiring her work, “she’s ready.”

Your caretaker eyes are filled with love and awe, “you look magnificent, Mistress! You’ll be the talk of the ball tonight.” You gave her a wry smile, “thank you.”

It’s spring and you were wistful, looking out your carriage. Your manor grows smaller in the distance as the night grows darker.

The carriage comes to a halt in front of the castle. The castle was large and imposing, made of bright white stone. Women and men dressed in exquisite silk, satin and velvet, as they mingled, chatted and drank through the halls.

You were immediately escorted to another room, with other ladies who were preparing for their debut as well. You recognized some of them – classmates and acquaintances from your lessons. You politely nodded your head at them, but kept your distance, rather looking out the window instead.

“Ugh, he’s so boring.” You heard one woman say, loudly. Her brown, almost black hair was styled in a French twist with a thin tiara on top of her head. Her dress was red, it almost reminded you of blood.

“Bambietta, he’s your fiancé!” Another woman with blonde hair in loose curls and a seafoam-coloured gown, whispered harshly. You pretended not to pay attention to them but watched them through the faint reflection of the window.

Bambietta Basterbine, you recalled. The daughter of a weapons manufacturer who was close to your uncle. You had only met her a handful of times but found her quite rude with how she treated servants and those of lower rank.

“No, it’s insulting!” Bambietta scoffed, “if he weren’t one of Lord Yhwach’s most trusted knights, he wouldn’t even be here. He is a peasant in knight’s armour.” She sneered. Your ears twitched, one of your uncle’s knights?

“But at least he’s handsome… Lord Yhwach has some pretty ugly soldiers in his army.” Her blonde friend quipped, trying to diffuse the situation.

You could see Bambietta roll her eyes, “and he’s probably terrible in bed. His friend, you know the one with the black hair. Hubert?” Bambietta grinned, licking her lips, “he was fun. And besides, I’ll have my pick of the litter if he doesn’t satisfy me.” Bambietta said with a dismissive tone.

Your eyes widened from hearing their conversation, but you kept your cool. This was between her and her fiancé. Although... Hubert… you knew vaguely of him within your uncle’s army… he was Jugram’s second-in-command.

You felt your body churn out of anxiety, but your heart felt like it was crumbling.

An older madame entered the room and ushered all the ladies together, including you. You were each to be escorted by a knight as you descended the royal steps. Your stomach was in knots with anxiety creeping up your body.

Bambietta was to be in front of you and you could tell she was in a foul mood with the way she was pouting and glaring at you and everyone in the room.

And soon, the knights entered. You recognized Jugram immediately, one of the taller knights. You thought you saw his eyes widen as he saw you, but his gaze diverted to Bambietta. He was decorated in a fine white uniform, reminding you of snow, with a turquoise fur trim running along his jacket and gold fixtures. His sword fastened at his hip, and long blonde hair tied in a loose ponytail. “Bambietta” Jugram said, a bit coldly you thought. He held his hand to Bambietta, who scoffed and begrudgingly held it.

You were one of the few without a fiancé and were to be assigned a knight to escort you tonight. Hubert, the man in your uncle’s army, the second-in-command to Jugram, and Bambietta’s bed partner, gave you a small smile and bowed, taking your hand, “it’ll be my honor to escort you tonight, milady.”

You gave a sad smile and extended your hand. He kissed the back of your hand, and you wanted to wince. But you recalled your etiquette training and remained polite.

The train of knights and ladies descended the steps as orchestral music filled the hall. You looked ahead of you, to Jugram’s back, as he confidently escorted Bambietta down the steps.

“Announcing Lady Bambietta of the Basterbine family, escorted by her fiancé, Grandmaster Jugram Haschwalth.”

Then it was you and Hubert, stepping down to the marble floor. Once all the pairs were called upon, the first dance commenced. You smiled politely as Hubert held you. His grip was too tight on your hip and arm, as you winced while you danced. Eventually the song came to an end, and you parted ways.

The elites of the upper society began to swarm you, prodding you on to take Hubert as a fiancé, how your uncle would support you on the endeavour, but you politely declined. Stepping away from the crowd, you found a balcony to decompress, and people watch.

Some couples were dancing still, including Jugram and Bambietta. Their movements were fluid and graceful. You could hear in the distance guests gossiping about them, how beautiful their family would be.

Once the song ended you followed Jugram to another balcony outside. He was shocked to see you, eyes wide as you tried to gather courage for what you were about to say.

“Bambietta isn’t good for you!” You yelled, as sadness enveloped you, “she’s been sleeping with Hubert, and has no issues with seeing other men besides you.”

The look Jugram gave you scared you. Cold, lifeless green eyes staring into your soul. “It’s my duty to Lord Yhwach to marry who he sees fit.” He stared at you, his voice devoid of its usual warmth for you, “it doesn’t matter to me, as long as she’s happy.” He pushed you aside, walking back to the hall, leaving you alone on the balcony.

It was spring and you wanted to cry.

It’s summer and you’re visiting your uncle’s manor. Nothing has changed from what you can see. The gardens are beautiful as ever, with your favourite flowers in full bloom. You’re greeted by familiar servants and staff, welcoming you back into your home as they take your belongings to your room.

You walked through the halls towards your music room. Passing by the window, you see a familiar scene of young pages training to become knights, of wooden swords and childish laughter. How nostalgic you thought.

Lord Yhwach is away but promised to visit in the coming days. Your uncle wanted you to enjoy your stay in his home for the time being, taking a break from “the disgusting air of the city” as he described it. He didn’t like you living in the city, but you preferred it, playing recitals and teaching students music.

He also didn’t like that you remained unmarried. Neither did the rest of your family and your caretaker. Suitors would visit you from afar, and past visits back home would have a man waiting for your return, but you would dismiss each one.

Now you were reaching the “ineligible” age. An age where the annoying, nosy and rude ladies of upper society turned their noses at unmarried women. Sighing, you entered your music room. A song would distract you from those thoughts.

Your piano room was clean, albeit a bit stuffy. You opened the large windows by them to air out the room. The faint sound of children laughing can be heard, followed by the buzzing of cicadas, bringing a smile to your lips.

It’s summer and you deserve to enjoy yourself at your own pace.

You lift the cover of your piano to find clean and polished keys. You run your fingers gently across them, no sound being made. You settle yourself and decide on what piece to play. Your mind flashes to one of your first concerts in the city, where you received a standing ovation, and a large bouquet of your favourite flowers awaited your waiting room. There was no name attached to the bouquet, other than the note of “Congratulations.” Signed with your uncle’s crest. To this day you figured it was him. Recital after recital, you would find beautiful bouquets awaiting you with a note from your uncle.

Your fingers glided over the keys as you played the first piece from your first ever recital. The one where you had dragged Jugram to listen to that one winter’s day. You smiled to yourself as you closed your eyes, letting your fingers play the song from memory. You mind wandered as you continued to play, thinking of Jugram.

In the coming days after the ball, to save face, you had congratulated him on his engagement. You were a witness to his coronation as Imperial Advisor to your uncle. You had attended his wedding to Bambietta. And then you ran to the city.

Your hands were moving on their own as you recalled all of it, as tears started to prick your eyes. As the piece was nearing its end, you felt your hands grow heavy and you stopped.

“That was an old piece you played.” Jugram’s voice startled you.

“Jugram! I didn’t notice you were here.” You exclaimed, jumping out of your seat. You bowed to him as he did to you. “Did you just come in?” You asked, wondering when he entered the room.

“The servants told me you had arrived. I knew I would find you here.” He said, his voice even and calm. His uniform was stark white, he looked even taller than before.

But his green eyes were soft today, unlike the time at the ball. This was the Jugram you wanted to remember.

“Please excuse my intrusion,” a maid servant announced, as she brought tea and snacks for you.

“Oh thank you, but could you bring these outside? I’d like to enjoy them with Advisor Haschwalth.” You smiled, as the three of you were led outside.

The two of you sat in the gazebo in silence, as the wind tickled your hair. The sun was slowly beginning its descent into the horizon.

“How have you been, Jugram? How is Bambietta?”

Jugram sipped on his water, as his eyes lingered to the flowers nearby. “She’s fine.” He murmured.

“And you?” You asked again.

“Fine.” He said, always a man with few words. The air was warm, but comforting, but you noticed him unbutton his jacket.

“I’m always surprised to see you wearing your uniform during this heat.” You laughed, to which Jugram gave a slight smile.

“The fabric is suitable for all seasons, but it’s quite warm today.” He mused, taking another sip of water.

Silence grew again, as the two of you stared out in the distance.

“I –”

“You –”

The two of you spoke at the same time. Jugram ushered you to go first.

“I’m sorry about the ball. I know it’s been so many years, but I’m sorry for how I acted. It wasn’t my place.” You apologized, looking at him. Jugram’s face was expressionless.

“Bambietta and I are separating for now.” He murmured, still staring at the garden. Was he… disappointed? Relieved? You couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Jugram. That must have been difficult for you both to agree on.” You sighed.

Jugram gave you a sad smile. “She was upset with the bouquets I was having delivered.”

Your eyes widened in surprised, “isn’t that a bit hypocritical of her? But I’m surprised, you had someone else?”

Jugram gave a dry chuckle, “no, I never bedded them, but I suppose it was unfair to her that I would gift flowers to someone and visit the city every now and then.” Your heart panged again, sadness washing over you that Jugram’s affections laid with someone else... again.

“Are you going to be with this person once your separation is finalized?” You asked, unsure if you could handle his answer.

“I want to.” He said calmly, his face again, remained expressionless, “but that depends on her.” He mused, his lips forming to a wistful smile.

“Do you regret what happened?” You asked softly, trying to remain composed for whatever Jugram may say.

“I have no regrets.” He murmured, “I made my own choice to marry her, and it’s now my choice to separate from her and be with someone else.”

“But what about my uncle?” You asked, worried that Jugram may have been on the receiving end of your uncle’s ruthlessness.

“He signed off on it. I suppose whatever deal he had with the Basterbine family was fulfilled.” Jugram said, wistfully.

The silence between you two grew again as the sun began to set.

“Did you like the bouquets?” He asked, staring at you.

“The bouquets?” You asked in confusion. “Wait, that… that was from you?”

Jugram nodded. “I attended some of your recitals.” He said calmly, finishing his glass of water. “You are truly a gift from God.” He quietly said.

“I thought they were from Lord Yhwach all this time…” You said, your voice wavering. Your heart was beating so loudly. You began to feel felt faint.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were there? I—” You asked, trying to calm yourself.

Jugram remained silent, as he continued to stare into the gardens.

“If I didn’t see you play at least once in my life,” Jugram said, “I would die with that regret.” He whispered, looking at the distance with a longing in eyes. “And then one recital, became multiple.”

Jugram got up from his seat and stood in front of you, extending his hand. You gave him yours, to which he bowed and kissed the back of your hand. “Please allow me to escort you to dinner tonight, your highness.” Jugram asked.

The days are long, and the nights are warm. Your body aches and your pussy is sore, sticky remnants covering your thigh. You had consummated your marriage to Jugram.

Your nipples are sensitive from Jugram’s teeth marks. Your lips are puffy and swollen from the kisses he stole from you.

Although everything hurt, you ached for more of him.

His cheeks were slightly flushed for the evening’s earlier activities, but now he laid asleep next you, his broad chest moving to every hitch of breath he was taking. His face was relaxed, his lips weren’t frowning, his eyebrows weren’t crossed. He looked at peace. You gently placed your hand over his heart, your long fingers gently tapping to the song from your youth.

Yet like everything Jugram does, he surprises you as his hand interlocks with yours.

“I’m sorry to wake you, Jugo.” You whispered, kissing him softly on the lips. “I couldn’t help myself.” You murmured, kissing him again, “you just looked so content.”

Jugram cupped your face in his hand as the two of you laid side-by-side. “You must be sore from tonight.” He said, kissing your forehead.

You felt heat rise below and peered down below the blanket. Jugram’s cock was growing stiff. You bit your lip in anticipation, reaching your hand down below, but Jugram stopped you.

“Rest, my highness.” Jugram murmured, “I can wait.”

You pouted at him, “can I watch at least?” You politely asked, giving him an innocent look. Jugram looked at you, eyes wide at the question. Your hand reached down and gently grabbed his growing erection, sliding your hand up and down.

Jugram grunted at the feeling, and pulled your arm away from his cock, replacing it with his own. “What her majesty wants, her majesty will get.” He whispered into your ear, as you watched Jugram slide his hand over his stiff cock. Precum leaked from the tip as Jugram watched you. He pinched your nipple and stole another kiss from you.

You moaned into him, throwing your arms around his neck, but he pulled away, continuing to pump his cock.

Watching him left a familiar ache of your own, as your hand darted to your pussy, rubbing your clit gently watching Jugram masturbate on top of you. You slipped one of your fingers inside, whimpering as you thought of Jugram’s cock inside you instead.

Jugram’s movements grew more erratic, and his breath more laboured as he watched you play with yourself, moaning his name. He watched you insert a second finger inside you, arching your back at the feeling, another moan of his name escaping his lips.

It was too much for him, as Jugram closed his eyes and groaned your name, his cum thick on your stomach. You slipped your fingers out from your pussy, using them to scoop his cooling cum of your body and tasting it. “Delicious.” You teased, licking your fingers clean.

Jugram panted, but gave you a wry smile, “you will be the death of me, your majesty.”

THANKS FOR READING!! This was originally planned to be super angst heavy, but my brain went another way haha! Here are some notes for this fic:

The title of the song on AO3 is from Duran Duran's "The Chauffeur" (one of my top favourite songs of all time), but I was specifically listening to Sneaker Pimps' cover of it.

Hanon's Virtuoso Pianist, is actually a great tool to build your finger strength and helps with scales and technical studies for piano playing.

The Bach piece that reader plays with Jugram in the room is Bach's Fugue No. 16 in G Minor from Book 2 of The Well-Tempered Clavier.

For the reason I chose Bambietta is based off this goofy omake between her and Jugram lmao

I really enjoyed writing this fic, so I hope you all enjoy it as well!!

[yanderes-galore]

demons won and I really want to request yandere concept for Megumi with Affectionate! Darling. Bonus points if darling is very touchy with everyone, especially with Itadori :3

The dynamic for this is both funny and cute, so here you go :) Not intense this time around... just jealous/clingy Megumi for the most part.

Yandere! Megumi Fushiguro with Affectionate! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Slight Manipulation, Possessive/Protective behavior, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Megumi's personality creates an interesting difference between him and his darling in this concept.

Megumi is usually very stoic, serious, calculating, and easily irritated.

He even shows annoyance towards Yuji, Nobara, and Gojo at times.

You'd think an overly affectionate darling would get on his nerves.

Although... what surprises everyone is the fact he seems to enjoy you being affectionate at times.

Of course, there's a time and a place... but he sees it as something special.

When he first met you, your affectionate personality threw him for a loop.

At first he'd push you away and tell you to focus.

If you want to be affectionate with Yuji or Nobara, fine, but he isn't used to it.

Although... as he gets to know you and the attachment settles in... he hates you being so touchy with others.

Soon, when it's just you two, Megumi pulls you aside and asks you softly for some sort of affection.

Now the others are confused when Megumi seems to let you hang off him.

He lets no one else do such a thing.

You're hugging him, holding his arm, leaning your head against him...

Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're just friends or something more.

Megumi may not show much emotion towards it all...

But he really does adore it.

Before he didn't care if you clung to Yuji or Nobara.

Both of them tended to reciprocate and keep you happy.

Megumi saw how you smiled towards them... he saw all the excitement...

Leading him to feel a pang of envy deep within him.

Now? Well... Megumi often sticks around you and pulls you to him if you're feeling affectionate.

You don't need Yuji, Nobara, or anyone else for this...

He'll be the one to give you attention now.

It's such a strange change for him.

Most expect him to always be stoic and cold.

Yet with you he often pulls you into his arms when you ask and just... never looks go.

Others get a death glare the moment you try to be affectionate with them.

He may just be a good overprotective friend with you.

Or maybe his sudden craving for your affection is due to... newly developed feelings?

Megumi isn't one to voice his feelings.

Although... his actions towards you say everything.

There's times when you merely mention being affectionate with another person and Megumi's grip tightens.

"... why do you need to give them attention again? I'm right here."

He's always so calm, never usually raising his voice even when irritated at others.

If he's jealous he merely pulls you aside and buries himself into your neck or chest.

Safe to say Megumi would do fine with an affectionate darling.

He may not know what to do about it at first... but the longer he's attached?

He can't get enough of you clinging to him... no one else should experience this but him now.

"Don't move... just stay here with me, I'll pay attention to you more than the others... promise. Don't like you with any other person but me...."

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Leona Kingscholar & Ruggie Bucci - Helping You With Gender Envy

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Hi @ameleii! I finally got to your ask! I saw that you moved blogs, so I hope you don't mind me tagging your new one. I chose to do both Ruggie and Leona as a way to apologize for taking so long to get to this. Anyway, I hope that this is at least to your liking to make up for the wait! —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧

I don't believe Leona would quite understand exactly what you were having a problem with, or that there was a problem at all at first. But! He can read body language pretty well, so even if he doesn't know exactly what's wrong, he still understands when you're uncomfortable. He'll let you come to him first and explain what's going on to him since he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. However, if you don't, he sits you down and carefully asks you what's up.

After he knows about your occasional bouts of gender envy, Leona will make a habit of asking you how you're feeling every day gender-wise. No matter what you feel like identifying as that day (be it NB or MASC since this is a masc-leaning ask) he'll reinforce it with casual compliments and comments about how handsome, masculine, or manly you're looking. He'll give you gender-specific pet names that correlate with how you feel, like my boy & handsome and He'll target whatever you feel envious of when he compliments you.

If you tell Leona about how you wish your voice was deeper or that you were taller or more muscular, etc. He'll huff at you and hold you in his arms, lamenting about how you already have the perfect voice since he finds it so easy to fall asleep. How your body is already perfect because you make such a great pillow to lounge on. About how if you were to change yourself, you'd be depriving him of how wonderful you already are.

Leona's still getting the hang of it, but he's doing his best, and he'll continue to do it for you. Your happiness is his and he'll be damned if his herbivore is feeling unhappy.

⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️

"What the hell are ya talkin' about? Your my handsome man, my boyfriend. If you were any different than ya are I wouldn't be interested, ya get it?"

♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧

I feel that Ruggie is exceptionally good at reading people, so he knows what's going on fairly quickly. This hyena beastman will make sure to let you know that he knows what's wrong and that you can come to him for refuge whenever those feelings get too intense. He'll make sure to give you all the space you need if you ask for it because he figures that it can be hard to feel like you're not who you're supposed to be.

Like Leona, Ruggie will also ask you how you're identifying every day. I feel like he'd help you style your hair in a style that goes along with how you identify before you start your day. He'll make sure to add little notes in the lunches he packs for you about how masculine/feminine/nongender specific you look that day or leave a little “Have a good day, boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other of mine!” If he sees you looking enviously at another student, he'll try and carefully pull you away from them and distract you with something else to get your mind off of it.

No matter what you tell Ruggie that you wish you had, he'll respond with how he's glad that you're the way you are because you're the same person that he fell in love with. But even so, he'll listen to you with open ears and let you get out all of your negative feelings before he showers you with love and affection and words of affirmation. He doesn't go anywhere until he's sure that he's brightened your mood.

Ruggie will do anything to make you feel happy with yourself. He loves everything about you and loves the things that you're insecure about even more. He'll make sure you know that as well.

⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️•♡•⚧•♡•♂️

"My manly man, I made ya breakfast, it's your favorite.~ Ah, ah, ah— What about my thank you kiss? I don't cook for free."

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[valentine-cafe]

˖⁺. ﹙ the mastermind investigator grim reaper. ﹚: rishen herrera 9819.𖹭

. . . catch me if you can !! 🍒 : “ my - what is with that face? flustered? oh darling, whose fault might that be? ”

꒰ verse ꒱ 9819

꒰ species ꒱ grim reaper

꒰ ethnicity ꒱ mexican-indian

꒰ age ꒱ 34

꒰ gender ꒱ genderfluid, amab

꒰ mbti ꒱ estj

꒰ alias ꒱ scarlet stare, scarlet regard ( ?? alessio ), detective herrera, professor herrera, the scarlet reaper, reaper fraud ( mocking ), basic riddle ( muchen ), mother's boy ( muchen )

꒰ story ꒱ everyone knows him by that grin. that effortless charm and cocky attitude that sends most criminals into a spiral.

world renowned investigator and exceptional strategist. professor herrera - or as many know him by: the scarlet stare. a man of many talents and great intellect. one of the sharpest mind’s that the city has ever seen. what with his sharp eye and the frightening accuracy in each case he is put on. responsible for catching some of the most wanted.

yet despite this cunning, strategic mind. a bite for danger is most prevalent. looking. searching for a time in which he may be wrong. challenging himself and those around him to try and go against him. get him to make a mistake. quite the tie to his recklessness and need to solve a case by any means necessary. whether that be not playing by the law or tittering the lines of criminals.

although a human is what he would prefer to call himself - a grim reaper is what he actually is. something he’d rather hide away — despite being exceptional in that as well.

he would much rather spend his time solving cases than reaping souls in any case. it’s what he was born for.

꒰ appearance ꒱

rishen has a pair of maroon eyes, with pupils that constrict into slits during moments of intense emotions, along with this, he has slitted irises, that give him an even more ethereal look than he already had.

has medium-length, fluffy and curly dark brown hair that extend halfway down his neck and tickles at his face with small almost heart-shaped curls at times.

gorgeous bronze skin, littered with beauty spots on the left side of his face and along his forearms, sometimes, when you look long enough, the spots look like their own constellations

a very androgynous face that leans more towards feminine features, one genuienly cannot tell whether he is male or woman or something in between.

has rows of sharp, pearly white teeth that often do not get shown because he prefers to smile and not grin.

stands at a height of 5'8” with a a lean body type

long white talons that many reapers stare at in envy because he has an easier time actually painting them with brighter colours.

across his body, small ruby spots freckle his skin, specificaly his arms & around his pelvic area. while on his back, he has a small rose-quartz at the base of his spine, that shines beautifully when in sunlight.

right in the centre of his forehead, he sometimes dorns a small, tear-drop shaped ruby.

Sticking out his tongue, you can see the gold midline tongue piecing

he has a gold labret piercing ( it’s rather thin )

has standard lobe piercings in both ears, sharing space with some lovely gold helix piercings

often wears gold bangles, ones that shine beautifully and are vibrant in red and pink hues

rocks the red old money aesthetic

carries around pocket watches that he uses as his tracking devices. by an entire turn of one of the clock arms, he can turn the clock frame into a tracking device to see where his enemies are

 

꒰ personality ꒱

confident. quite confident. this can very quickly bleed into cockiness. he is very self-assured and well aware of his skillset. he also plays the cocky part because it gets the right people annoyed.

beyond charismatic. another skill that utilizes. this also ties in well with his charming antics. he knows when to use them and might sometimes be a bit of a flirt - he does so in a serene fashion.

incredibly intelligent. this ties in very well with his strategic mind.

brilliant. he is incredibly mentally keen and alert. you should be careful about what you say or do around him - he might be able to utilize it if may be.

a bit reckless. if there is something that needs to be done to solve a case - best believe he’ll look into it. even it means getting himself a bit hurt in the process.

loves entertaining the idea of him being potentially wrong. tittering the lines of danger and life-threatening. risking it all if it means putting his mind to the test and challenging himself. gets a rush for danger. ties in quite well with the point above

very provocative. perhaps a bit too much at times. a part of him enjoys ticking people off because he gets to see their true selves in the mix. which could aid some of his cases.

can be quite stubborn. if he sets his mind to something he is going to do it - which can be quite the fault

not one to get angry but does appreciate the audacity of those that try to do so. as stated, he absolutely loves a challenge.

ignores his grim reaper heritage for the most part. one of the only ways to actually anger him is bringing it up.

can be a bit impulsive. as calculated as he is - if he is in the heart of a situation and his mind tells him to do something. he’ll do it.

can be a bit deceitful too. secretive. it is something that he is working on.

very high perfectionism. this ties in with being very methodical and organised.

at the heart of everything. he is someone that is compassionate and wants to do good. he has a sense of justice that he wishes to fulfill.

 

꒰ with a lover ꒱

rishen can be quite playful and adores teasing you — however the bastard is so calm and serene about it! you couldn’t even fault him for doing it because he would convince you he isn’t teasing you at all! all to see you pout and flustered

very physically and verbally affectionate, they are two of his main love languages and he loves it just as much when it is reciprocated. through one or the other.

like most reapers, rishen shows his love through biting you. whether it be small nips of leaving marks, sometimes he draws a bit of blood too. . . he’s forgets how hard he sometimes can bite.

oh he knows he sometimes ends up being really busy. . . and he will always gets nervous that you might not understand. so if there has been a long time of no contact - he’ll always bring you flowers or treats, even if all is alright

a thing that comforts him a lot is to put his head on your chest or lap, listening to your heartbeat or simply resting on the plush of your thighs brings him at ease and makes him feel safe.

likes letting you sit in his lap or sitting himself in your lap whilst he’s doing work. it’s a way he can be near you while he’s busy

his scythe is constantly trying to talk to you. . . unfortunately he doesn’t pay it too much mind and often ignores the fact that it exists in the first place.

has given you one of his weiqi ( go ) pieces to summon him by. Sentimental pieces belonging to reapers given to the ones they love by them, can summon them if one should need ( only if you are in danger. )

really loves matching jewellery with you, wearing matching earrings and necklaces along with bracelets and rings

has a thing for putting his hands on your waist or between your thighs, both to feel the warmth ( or cold ) and to watch you squirm when he does.

rishen is very protective of you even if he doesn’t show it in the traditional sense - he knows many people are out for his head. and so this might also transcend into him being clingy to keep you safe.

he has a love for playing board games or card games with you, and sometimes, if you give him eyes enough, will let you have a bit of a lead. though expect him to win nontheless. bastard and his charming grin

has your name engraved into one of his pens and uses it when he is out writing on cases, interviewing people or investigating.

takes you out for cafe dates and art gallery dates and loves watching the way your eyes fill with life and happiness.

 

꒰ strengths ꒱

sharp intelligence: he is exceptionally intelligent and strategic. he is considered to be one of his city’s greatest minds.

deception: he is great at masking and keeping secrets. he is able to put on different personas to suit certain situations.

soul-reaping: rishen has the ability to reap more than 200 souls and carry them on his scythe until he can send them away to the afterlife. unfortunately he doesn’t really use the scythe much.

vapour teleportation: can shift his physical form into a dark vapour and can move at high speeds towards a different location.

dark vapor production: produces a dark vapour from his back and shoulders that can blind and disorientate enemies greatly.

hallucinative vapor production: similar to his dark vapour, however causes those that breathe it in to hallucinate; often multiple versions of him.

can see souls/ghosts: as a reaper rishen has the ability to see ghosts, spirits, wraiths, etc. along with the souls of both living and dead.

 

꒰ weaknesses ꒱

heart condition: he has a rare heart condition which results in him experiencing heart attacks when overwhelmed or panicked.

dislike of lineage: he does not like being a reaper. this can often be used against him

daylight: as a nocturnal reaper, daylight and other bright sources of light can weaken his senses of sight as he is used to the darkness of the night.

d’akar: an anti-magic material that can greatly weaken him if he comes into contact with it.

extreme emotional attachment: while reapers may remind one of humans, they are not. they are beings with very empathetic instincts and have souls bigger than the average mortal being — a thing that has been with them since their creation. they become extremely attached to things they love and it may cause them to become erratic if enough they love is taken away from them.

fading: occurs when a reaper goes through immense hurt and pain. their physical form quite literally begins to disappear, making them appear transparent. it can be a very painful process, both emotionally and physically. until their physical form eventually fades away and their soul moves on to the afterlife

꒰ relationships ꒱

zhào jìngyí: boyfriend, best friend, childhood friend

zhào mèng yáo: guardian figure, teacher, good terms

zhào mùchén: guardian figure, teacher, bad terms

rishima singhania: the woman that birthed him. nothing more to say.

zhào hàoyu: brother-in-law

zhào haitao: brother-in-law

zhào yìzé: brother-in-law

zhào yu xi: sibling-in-law

alessio agresta arias: prime suspect

kyung seong-jin: co-worker

indra rosales: co-worker

shi jùn lái: mutual

shi tài: mutual

shi xuan jie: mutual

denara agyros: friend, nurse

danae agyros: motherly figure, good terms

orpheus agyros: fatherly figure, good terms

 

꒰ extra ꒱

he is both an investigator and profiler with experience in combative field

he is very good at strategy board games such as chess and weiqi ( go ), he often has individual games

he is allergic to cinnamon

he speaks hindi, spanish ( latin american ), chinese ( mandarin ) and knows asl

his scythe is named the scarlet strike ( or cherry, to jìngyí ), rishen however does not talk to it as much as it talks to him

he is a big appreciator of art and often likes analyzing art pieces. you can sometimes find him in art galleries during his days off

at times he wakes up early in the morning to bake. Often out of frustration at lack of sleep or because he finds himself stressed and restless due to upcoming or ongoing cases.

breaks into random theatre performances together with jìngyí sometimes after long days.

they have a cat named beatrice, who often come with them to missions and helps them sniff out stuff. she wears a cat sized detective hat.

he really enjoys a nice cup of hot chocolate after work, while sketching and drawing.

[dinaaaaee]

Firsts with him.

👾Leviathan x gender neutral MC!

👾Synopsis: Firsts with him, abit ooc - didn't follow alot of the dialogue with him and mc at first because It felt awkward ngl. Long sorry.

👾I went back to some lessons to get actual dialogue, I really like this concept so if you want me to do more characters, please request!

👾Warnings: Mentions of death threats - that's just dialogue from the first time MC was in the devildom

✰ When you first met him.

You recall meeting him like it was just yesterday.

Freshly new to the devildom, you and Mammon had just got partnered up. Despite, his complains against 'babysitting' a human, he was kind enough to warn you about other demons, and how you should run if you spot them coming to attack you, or well just die…

Kind enough you suppose.

Just as you were about to thank him, an intense and irritated voice came from behind and startled you both.

"How about this? I vote for YOU to die, Mammon." The taller man, towered over him.

Mammon, quickly turning around: "D'ah…! Levi… you-...uh Listen up, human! This is Leviathan, the Avatar of Envy. He's the third oldest of our three brothers."

Gazing up at the taller demon, he was becoming more and more attractive by the minute. Amber orange eyes that glowed with rage, indigo purple messy hair with side-swept bangs covering half of his eyes, plump, smooth lips that's clearly taken care of. Oh, and his height…his height.

"Mammon give me back my money. Then go crawl in a hole and die."

"C'mon, man I said I'll give it back to you when I have time!" As they continued to bicker, you couldn't help but stare at the older demon Infront of you, sure the other demons you met were attractive, but you wasn't sure what made you more attracted to the Avatar of Envy then the others. Was it his anger? Was it because he kept glancing at you? You swear your heart skipped a beat when he did.

There was no denial, that there was a mutual attraction, even if you both didn’t want to admit it.

————

✰ When you first made a pact with him/first apology.

He made a mistake.

Due to Levi's persistence in getting his money back, you ended up making a pact with Mammon. Despite of it all, he still did not get his money back.

What a shame.

A few weeks later, you were becoming more intrigued by that attic; something about that damn attic was luring you in. But of course, Lucifer wouldn't let you go in so easily, so you needed a distraction.

That's how you and Levi ended up in a TSL contest.

The icing on the cake was the very limited wing pendant Solomon gave to you, that Leviathan would kill to get.

But you had it. He didn't like that. How the hell do you have something so rare and you’ve only been in the devildom for a couple of days?! Jealousy, rage, welled up in him.

He wasn't thinking clearly, he saw green.

BANG!

You were now running away.

Leviathan couldn't face you, not after he embarrassed himself, But he had, has to apologize, only because Lucifer is nagging him. Working up the courage after a few days of going quiet, he messages and invites you to the music room, saying you could bring someone if your uncomfortable, but just meet him there.

Sighing, you walk over to the music room downstairs, and see the tall demon, impatiently walking around in a circle in a quicken pace.

"Finally, I've been waiting for you to show up!" Levi exclaimed. Surprised to see that you actually came, and without anyone? He took a step forwards to you, and looked behind you, to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"You didn't bring anyone with you? No Mammon?" "No, I didn't." "Even, after...what happened?"

Sighing, you tell him despite being hurt by his actions, you understand that he is the Avatar of Envy and a Demon.

Are you an angel?

Releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding in, he gets straight to the point. "Well we did agree, if you did win I would agree to be in a pact with you." He says fake smiling.

“We did.” you say, genuinely smiling.

Shaking the sinners hand, your now in a pact with.

"So what is it? A normie human like you, wanting a pact with a demon? there is obviously a ulterior motive here."

————

✰When he calls you henry for the first time/holds your hand.

Lights, acting, action.

Whoever said that devils work harder were right, there was a few days left until the big day, until the student council members + mc performs a TSL play for RAD and Simeon was not going easy on them.

Now all you can hear is students cheerings overtaking the medival music playing in the background. You see blood roses been thrown onto the wide black stage, Levi in the middle of the stage calling for you, to come out with him. When you do join him, you didn’t expect him to take your hand in his. His hand feels unexpectedly soft, expectedly sweaty, but you don’t mind.

“Henry I can’t believe we did that! We just did that!” Levi excitedly says in the middle of bowing.

“Lord of the Shadows, we did just do that!!”

“EEKK! that was so nervewrecking but amazing at the same time. Henry, you especially were amazing out there, you portrayed him perfectly, just as how I imagined him to be.” Levi now is facing you, with sparkles in his eyes, his hand still intertwined with yours. You could see the passion, the admiration in his eyes, making you shy away.

“Oh… thank you. Hehe, you were just as awesome though! especially with the betrayal scene.”

He gives you a genuine toothy grin, and says “All because of you, my henry! You gave me the inspiration and a confidence boost to play my character, your my best friend, my henry in real life, lol!” And with that you both finished your credits, and walked off stage back to your changing rooms, the warmth still lingering on your hand, not forgetting his words and how he called you his henry, his best friend.

Is the room suddenly hot now?

————

✰When he gives you a gift for the first time.

Knock, Knock.

“Whats the password?”

“The second Lord-

“Oh, Mc! Come in, quick!”

Chuckling you open his door, finding him on sitting on the floor, with something behind his back.

“Someone is in a hurry today. So what was the emergency that you needed me for? That couldnt wait after I finished my hookberry tea?”

“Close your eyes, and put both of your hands out, don’t open your eyes until I say so.”

Hesitating, you slowly put your hands out.

“Pleeeaaase, henry? Don’t worry its nothing bad, lmao.”

“Fine.”

You did as what he said, and waited. You could feel that whatever he put on your hands was quite heavy.

“Okay, 3,2,1! Look.”

Opening your eyes and looking down, you see that it was a neon orange consoles, the controls were black, however the back had a little drawing of your favourite character from your favourites anime/show.

“Ta daaa! I got us matching consoles, now there is no excuse for not playing with me, and just sitting there. I remember you telling me about how much you love this character and I couldn’t help but watch the anime/show myself, It can also glow in the dark, check it out.” Levi pressed a button on his remote control and the lights go abit dim, you could see the consoles glowing.

“oh my god!! LEVI I LOVE THESE THANK YOU SO MUCH!!” (imagine ken’s squeal) you exclaim with enthusiasm, tackling him into a hug and kissing his right cheek.

“I- uh- e - w-why w-would y-you “ Levi malfunctions.

————

✰Confession that leads to a first kiss with him.

For a while now you’ve liked Leviathan, and not only in a friendly way but also in a romantic way. Everyone else but him, was aware of it. From the moment you met him, you knew there was attraction and he knew it too. But now, everytime he walked past, you had apparent hearts in your eyes making it hard to hide.

Knowing this cannot go on for long, you were planning on tell him, but little did you know he was going to beat you to it. Levi messaged you to meet him in his room afterschool, thats how you ended up sitting next to him on the floor watching him play with the strings of his white jacket.

“Uhm Levi?” you called out for him, breaking him from his thoughts.

“R-right, y-yeah.”

“You can do this Leviathan.” He hype whispers himself.

Levi shakily grabbing his controller and dragging the slider to a game, waiting for it to load, while you was peering over his shoulder, confused on what he needs.

“Uh…so. I-I made this f-for you.” He says while hiding he face, loading screen complete.

Looking at the screen you can see sentences: ‘Idk how to tell u in person, but I rlly ♡ u, not in a friend way btw’

…

…

…

Your heart was doing jumping jacks, you was grinning like an idiot, you forgot to speak, making Levi next to you, confused and nervous.

“M-Mc I-If you-“

Tackling him into a hug you thank him, and tell him that you really ♡ him aswell, he almost fainted.

“Levi, I’m so glad you told me that you like me, I was planning on telling you soon. I really like you aswell.”

Mc, you are going to be the death of him.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask shly.

“A-are you sure y-you want to k-kiss an yucky shut-in otaku like me?!” He was red as a tomato.

“I want to kiss you.”

…

Finally, he nods, closing his eyes and leaning in, you cup his face with both of your hands, leaning in, sitting on your knees, pressing your lips with his, it was a sweet chaste kiss but as soon as you both pulled away you were left wanting more. Wanting more of his cherry lip balm taste, wanting more of him.

————

Bonus: different ver, after confessing:

“Mc, Why- Why w-would you want trash like me?”

“Levi your not trash, but if you are trash can I take you out? ;)”

“I a- wait…”

[fuck-kirk]

I think I’ve finally figured out where my obsession with Con is stemming….obviously I think he’s sexy hot and would do unspeakable things to him yada yada yada…..but honestly…..I think he gives me the most intense gender envy EVER like …….

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

Every time I see Joey Richter I lose my mind a little. Half because he's just ridiculously beautiful, and half because I thought I was cis but he gives me the most intense gender envy I've ever had in my life? Not even trying to make a wallet, more like trying to figure out if I have a crush on him or want to be him (god I hope that makes sense and doesn't make me sound like a creep)

~~~

[teathyme4thedevil]

Obey Me! Demon Brother’s Reaction to an Aromantic Asexual MC:

•

*This MC, Thyme, is an AMAB Aromantic Asexual Agender person who is poly with all of the brothers in a QPR. They act as if it’s romantic and Thyme acts platonically, this is their dynamic and it works.

** Non smut mentions of mastrubation and arousal on the brothers end. No smut!

Lucifer: He wouldn’t mind at all, given that he hardly ever feels sexual or romantic attraction himself. He holds no judgement or scorn for Thyme. Only some mild disappointment, once he finds himself romantically and sexually attracted to them, that their boundaries prevent him from making them feel as good as they make him feel. He’s the most affectionately reserved amongst all the brothers, which matches Thyme’s speed well.

- Very occasionally mastrubates to thoughts of Thyme (with permission). Can become aroused when being touched intimately. Rarely acts upon it.

- Acts like an emotionally distant partner when in public, but is very sweet and loyal in private.

Mammon: At first he doesn’t understand. How can someone not fall in love or want sex? You’re 100% kidding? Right?? Eventually, with the combined efforts of Thyme and Asmo (mostly Asmo, given that Thyme was too embarrassed to say much), they educate him on the terminology and he kind of gets it. Enough to respect Thymes boundaries, and to negotiate a partnership between the two of them where they’re both comfortable. He already has everything they could give him, he’s fine if it’s minus sex. “Ah well, you like what you like and you don’t what you don’t. Don’t let anyone stop ya from being yourself, even if it’s me!”

- Still mastrubates, especially to thoughts of Thyme, (with permission).

- Treats Thyme like he’s their boyfriend with no expectations for reciprocity.

Leviathan: Is more familiar with the human concepts of the LGBTQ community due to watching so much Yuri anime, but similar to Mammon is Allo af and needed a primer on AroAce basics. The knowledge that Thyme doesn’t feel attracted to ANYONE actually satisfies his intense jealousy issues, even if you aren’t attracted to him, at least you’re not attracted to anyone else! Used to being a “gross otaku virgin” for millennia anyways, being in a partnership with Thyme wasn’t much different sexually speaking. He’d just jerk off to mental images of them in private (with permission) and be a loving partner the rest of the time. GG EZ!

- Honestly jerks off pretty often, he can’t help it, he thinks Thyme’s hot!

- Acts more like a best friend than anything most of the time, but likes to mark them in public to satiate his envy.

Satan: Ever since he was “born” he’d never felt any romantic or sexual feelings for anyone. Not until Thyme came into his life at least. That’s when stirrings of romantic feelings began to swim in his mind, heart and soul. He’s more than fine not having sexual relations with Thyme, finding the act unpleasant anyways. He’ll stick to reading about it in his romance novellas and leave it there. Overall, probably the best match up.

- Has never and will never touch himself. Feels no need to.

- Big boyfriend energy. Loves one-on-one dates and holding hands and kissing foreheads.

Asmodeus: For many, many years thought of himself as Aromantic. Oh yeah, this guy knows his terms. Hanging out with the crowds he does, he’s up to date with queer human terminology. He was the one to help explain Thyme’s gender identity to the other brothers after all. But when it comes to them, those heart pounding, dry mouthed, sweaty handed moments happen all too often for him to consider himself anything other than Demiromantic. In fact, he falls so in love with Thyme that he find himself no longer turned on by anyone else, not for a lack of trying, exclusively becoming attracted to them. They work it out eventually, developing a similar dynamic that Thyme has with Levi.

- Despite trying not to, once he falls for Thyme, he finds himself Thymesexual. He becomes disgusted with himself for attempting to continue his casual flings once he discovers he loves Thyme more than he loves himself.

- Girlfriend energy if we’re being honest here. Loves slumber parties and dress ups and drinking from the same mug in cafes. Craves acknowledgment and intimacy.

Beelzebub: He’s had crushes in the past, with little blips of sexual attraction, but nothing like what Thyme stirs up inside of him. Beel has never reacted so strongly to someone before, so when Asmo explained to him that Thyme was incapable of returning his affections, he at first was hurt. Did they not like him? Was he too much? Was he too little? Where did he go wrong?! It took a few comparisons to food to have him understand the situation but once he did, he didn’t know why he freaked out in the first place. Honestly? Nothing was going to change between them and he was already happy with their current relationship dynamics anyways. Things were pretty great actually.

- Mastrubates when pent up or can’t sleep. Half of the time thinks of nothing, half of the time it’s Thyme.

- Big brother energy for the most part, but loves tender kisses and weirdly enough, licking them.

Belphegor: Didn’t know what he was capable of until he met Thyme. Romantically, sexually, homicidally…Affected by a rare genetic condition amongst demons, turning him basically into the worlds worst Yandere when first seeing Thyme, he wanted anything Thyme was willing to give. Even if it meant that he would never be able to act out on his new and unexplored sexuality in anything other than fantasies. As long as Thyme stays with him, he’d do anything for them, even stay celibate if they so wished.

- New to sexual feelings and, unlike Satan, will act upon them in private.

- Very casual in public but hyper affectionate in private or in front of his brothers. Show off.

[vulpecular-draconic]

Hello! I'm a trans man who (as far as I'm aware) is not an alterhuman/therian/other, so I was wondering, is species dysphoria anything like gender dysphoria from your experience?

hi!! thanks for the ask! sorry it took me so long to answer, anon, i hope you’re still hanging around. it took me a while to figure out how to phrase this.

ok, so! for me, both species and gender dysphoria can be separated into two different categories: body and social. species also has a third category: mental dysphoria (not an actual term in the community, as far as i know, but it describes my experiences).

gender dysphoria 

body dysphoria

this dysphoria is concentrated on mainly three things; my chest, my voice, and rarely but occasionally my jawline. the first is the worst, but as long as i’m wearing the right clothes my chest usually doesn’t bother me enough to keep me from functioning. i plan to have surgery to change it. the second thing only bothers me when i’m Aware of my voice, which most of the time i’m not. i plan on taking voice training for that. the third bothers me so little that i don’t care to change it.

social dysphoria

this dysphoria is bad. i hate being called my assigned gender, and i hate people using my deadname and assigned pronouns. i didn’t used to think it was as intense as it is, but last year i had the opportunity to be fully out for a couple weeks in a place away from home, and coming back to being misgendered felt like a punch in my gut every time. 

species dysphoria

body dysphoria

this fluctuates wildly, both in intensity and the things it’s directed at. i usually have a few weeks where i feel phantom limbs and species dysphoria all the time, and then a few weeks where it’s hardly there. when it’s bad, it’s really bad. instead of a few specific traits that distress me, my whole body feels wrong, down to the bone structure. and there’s no way for me to realistically change it. it’s difficult to make your entire legs not be shaped like a human’s, y’know? minor species dysphoria is somewhat better; having claws can be achieved by buying wearable ones, fangs can be had by attaching costume accessories, incorrectly shaped pupils can be fixed by wearing fancy contacts. unfortunately i don’t currently have any of those items, but i could definitely get them in the future.

social dysphoria 

i don’t have this with species as badly as i do with gender. ideally, i would be treated as i normally am but while in a nonhuman body. except when my fae or cryptid ‘types are strong. when that happens, i usually want to have the social aspects associated with them — making bargains with humans, people being unnerved by me, things like that. i don’t think i get as much social dysphoria from my other kintypes.

mental dysphoria 

this one has no gender-y equivalent. it’s dysphoria over your thought patterns and knowledge level not being the same as that of your species’. i don’t think the same way i would if i was bodily a fae, or fox, or pocket dragon, or etc, and that can be distressing. during mental shifts (when thought patterns do seem to match more closely to that of your species), it’s still not exactly correct, and that’s quite frustrating. mental dysphoria is worst for me with my pocket dragon ‘type, since that mind is the most different from my usual mind. 

sometimes my gender intertwines with my species (becoming cryptidgender while also being a cryptid for example). the dysphoria doesn’t really change, just the identity thing i attribute it to.

i’d also like to mention my cecil palmer hearttype (a hearttype, in case you aren’t aware, means i identify *with* him rather than *as* him. he’s important to me and affects me in a way different from other fictional characters. i wish i was him, but i’m not). cecil gives me a LOT of gender envy, which is ironic considering he has no canon design. i have a sort of mental dysphoria towards him, in that i very much wish i knew what it was like to think the way he thinks, but it’s not distressing the way it can be for my kintypes.

so to conclude my answer: yes, my species dysphoria is similar to my gender dysphoria, but different enough to be distinct. i’d consider my species dysphoria worse on the whole, though.

[cer-rata]

Hi! I wanted to ask about your process making of Conrad. I been thinking on creating my own oc but I really don't know where to start and when I read "heart of Gotham" he feld like a pretty solid character and very interesting too.

So I'Il like to know, how did you come up with him? Where did you started end how did you follow with his story?

And if you have advice on building a character I would love to hear it, thank you! :D

This is so nice? I think the biggest anxiety around creating a OC-centric fic is that your baby just won't be as interesting as the canon characters, or worse is actively agonizing to witness, so it is nice to see that he stuck out to you positively.

This is a lovely question and I want to give you a thorough answer.

Spoilers? I guess? But only for things I've already published.

On Conrad:

When I'm writing fanfiction, OC or not, I like to look at the existing world building, find a detail that I think is really neat, and then put it somewhere it doesn't belong. I love Star Sapphires conceptually, if not always in execution, and wanted to play with what it means to be powered by love, and to do it differently than the classic obsessive, toxic, homicidal Sapphire that Carol became back in the day before it was a proper corps, and Geoff did his lantern lore tinkering. But I also didn't want to make it a purely heroic, morally unambiguous thing. All emotions are neutral and love can go in a lot of directions. I knew it had to stem from some kind of pain, partially because that is the standard set in canon, and also because I feel that heartbreak is love at its most intense and difficult to control, and that level of extreme emotion is needed to attract a ring.

So I started thinking about the kind of person that would be capable of feeling love that deeply and then I realized that the most emotionally volatile time in most people's lives is the teen years. Especially when it comes to affection. I'm not excluding my ace friends here either, even if it's not romantic or sexual in nature, teenagers tend to form really strong bonds, due in part to the aforementioned emotional volatility. So I knew they needed to be a teenager.

I wanted him to be a boy because I think the love corps being gender biased makes no sense, and playing with masculine stereotypes of what love means interested me. I am a guy, I like to write what I know. I also wanted to play with the idea of what it means to be a guy in the first place. Conrad's boyfriend, Darren was kind of created to be a more standard masculine ideal: Big, strong, uncomplicated, aggressive. I think on a level Conrad envied that and the safety that came with it. Conrad on the other hand was more complicated. There's a lot of softness there, an emotional rawness even before the tragedy, and he doesn't hide that. He's very openly gay, honest and clear about that, but he's also not pressed to present in a certain way. He liked that Darren protected him, and he didn't like conflict. None of that was from a place of confidence necessarily, more an aversion to being inauthentic. He doesn't think highly of himself, but he's also not interested in pretending he's anything else. It's not that he doesn't care what people think of him, but he just can't be anything else than what he is.

Frankly, there's also a tendency to write black boys and men as wildly binary. Either hyper masc and aggressive or toothless and palatable. I didn't want Conrad to be so clearly defined.

So I had the basic outline of his vibe by that point, I didn't have all the specifics but I knew that I needed to create an awful situation for this emotionally vulnerable kid. That's where Gotham came into play. Bad things happen to people every day in Gotham, and despite that, the regular folk keep living their lives. It quickly became important to me that Conrad represent a very average person in a very strange city, with average ambitions and circumstances. Being raised in a working class home was a given, because I didn't want to lean too far into the poverty narrative, but I did want to draw some distinction there, and contrast that kind of worldview to that of the better resourced batfamily. I wanted to make the change in his status quo even more jarring by not making him someone with any ambition to be a superhero, and make his more typical understanding of the world clear and consistent.

I also wanted to make him the child of immigrants, but swerve away from the stereotype of the inflexible, emotionally unavailable first generation parents. They're not perfect, they are distant in how they respond to his sexuality, but it was important that they were smart, fairly progressive, kind people who clearly cared about their son and his happiness. I don't think a parent has to be wildly abusive to cause pain for their kid, sometimes they really are trying their best, and the kid knows they’re loved, but they still leave some sore spots to work through. I tried to take that approach with my characterization of Bruce too, actually.

A lantern ring is an incredibly powerful weapon, and Gotham doesn't usually feature characters that powerful, it doesn't fit the genre, and I knew that. So I kept him from training properly for the story so he was always struggling to figure out what he was doing as a way to not have to start him out with lantern-tier threats. On the note of the ring, I also was specific about countering the classic hypersexualized depictions of Star Sapphires, not out of any moral sensibilities (though I do suppose I’d feel odd putting a sixteen year old in a laser speedo), but because I wanted him to have to build the confidence to be showy if he even wanted that. His insecurities about his body are pretty standard stuff for any teenager, and while not a full on complex, I wanted to be a little realistic about what he was willing to wear. I wanted to emphasize that love is not just about attraction and sexuality…though yes, for him specifically those are factors. But specifically not the only places he draws power from. I like to think they all have a central love that they tether to, and branch from there. Were I to make another Star Sapphire after him, I would most likely go in a completely different direction and focus on a different facet of love to be the core of their power.

Anyway, so then I had "Gay Black Teen Boy from Gotham who is Nice Enough but Not Terribly Interested in Sticking His Neck Out." I then picked a life altering tragedy that was in some ways intended to mirror Bruce's and spark a similarly intense desire, but smaller and more focused in scope.

This may be hard to believe considering I made a character who is literally powered by love, but at that point I had no intention of having Conrad date anyone. The story initially was much more dour and lonely and I didn't anticipate a happy ending. It was going to be bittersweet at best, but tragedy was more likely. I changed my mind a number of times actually, frankly I think the fact that the story logically flows is amazing, because I was writing to at least four different goals over the course of it.

Damian made the most sense to me as a point canon character because of the ages I was going with, and how hard his personality contrasted Conrad's. I put them in the same school and tied him to the tragedy for convenience, honestly. I thought it would be interesting for Damian to be drawn in through his guilt and inability to leave a problem unsolved, and because of that grow to have a civilian friend who was disarming enough to not trigger his defenses, and THEN becomes wildly dangerous, so he'd already accepted him into his sphere and then had to deal with it. I...wrote them with more chemistry than I'd planned to (yes, Damian is a blorbo, I'll admit it okay), and suddenly it became less about the lore implications and impact on Gotham's power balance and more about whether or not either of them were capable of love anymore. For a long time the answer was no, their ill-considered hookup was supposed to hurt both of them to the point of closing off to each other...but I got to a point in my own developing worldview where writing that the answer is "Not everyone gets to get better" became untenable. And I didn't think that kind of pessimism even made sense for the story I'd written, its tone, and how I characterized Conrad and Damian.

He definitely developed as I wrote him. I generally only knew what I was doing two to three chapters in advance, so there was always some uncertainty, but I had a pretty good idea what drove Conrad early on, and knowing what he cared about was helpful. Sometimes when people talk about magic systems, they talk about creating a power ceiling and sticking to it. I kind of wanted to show you exactly what Conrad could be willing to do very early on, so there was always this question about where his center actually was. I assume you're up to date, so you saw the kind of darkness he could reach come up a few times, but notably always stopped before stepping completely off the path and into something more sinister. He's nice, he's so nice, and I wanted to show how nice isn't enough to build a moral framework on, and he's still figuring out what his actually is. That's going to continue being a theme for him even after the fic actually.

Somewhere in there it turned into an AU I wanted to explore more, and then I started projecting Conrad's arc further out, and I did make a few choices in service of that.

Anyway, on general character creation:

I think the most important thing is that a reader kind of understands what a character is about. Not that they should be predictable, but they should feel consistent enough that when you are surprised, you can think back and go "Oooh...no actually yeah, I see how that happened." And that only really happens when you as the writer know the core of what they care about. Conrad wants to feel Safe, and he wants to feel Accepted. That's universal stuff, but it's important because that's where his ambitions end. He doesn't know what he's going to be doing after high school, he doesn't think that far ahead. Darren was his world because he just doesn't think past the present. Because his desires are so simple, so primal, and become so painful for him, then I feel it logically follows that he's willing to break through what he thinks are his boundaries in order to achieve them. You can even threaten either of them separately, but when both are in jeopardy at once, he's willing to do just about anything really. So I as the author always knew what his tipping points were, and could sprinkle them around to watch him trip into them and hurt himself. I want the reader to be able to see where a scene is going and go "Oh. Oh no he's about to do something he'll regret." So consistency of desire is important, because it colors everything else. Then you can make him sacrifice those desires for something he's come to realize is more important, and boom, you have a cathartic/agonizing growth point and can recontextualize from there.

Themes are important for long work, but I like to figure out who the person is first and then pick a theme that they'd struggle with figuring out. Wonder Woman wouldn't struggle with any of this, and as such wouldn't make sense to explore the question through. I'm sure you can come up with a theme first, but I like starting with characters and figuring out what their story is.

Gender, sex, race, orientation, health status: These are all important to know, even if the story isn't about any of those things specifically, because every one of those details imply different experiences and invoke different stereotypes. So don't agonize, but do think about WHY you've made the character this way. Are you leaning on stereotypes? Have you accidentally recreated an unfortunate trope? I am a black writer, but even so, when writing a black character I need to be aware of what ideas I'm perpetuating. I wrote Conrad's anger the way I did specifically because I wanted to avoid supporting the image of an "angry black man," which doesn't mean that he cannot BE angry, but does mean that I need to be mindful of the way he is, and why.

There are a lot of spreadsheets and character question checklists and stuff out there, and I'm sure they're great for some people, but they irritate my ADHD and I feel like if I need to constantly refer back to what my character likes, especially my main character, then I don't have a strong enough sense of who they are, and I really need to, this is an OC, every decision I make is the only canon there will lever be, so I need to have a grip on what I want.

Don't be afraid to make them goofy. Conrad is so goofy, and it is part of why Damian becomes fond of him, but that's not why I made him like that. I made him offbeat and awkward (but not shy), to create a specific dynamic in his dialogue. He's not cool, he doesn't care about being cool, but he is still insecure, and that insecurity manifests in oversharing, in a certain shamelessness. He can't handle sitting with shame, his self esteem is too weak for that. So his lack of guile, and lack of panache are both fun quirks to help me differentiate his dialogue, but also important clues about how he takes things and then I can flatten those out when he's being serious, or scary. If a character starts out cool, and that's never challenged, then it's boring and you get into Mary Sue/Gary Stu territory. It's totally doable to start cool and then add nuance, but I think it's easier to start a little weird and then reveal why they're neat when the situation calls for it. My advice boils down to this: People love fuckups, they love humans, they even love monsters. The greatest sin is for someone to be boring, and being too sad or too perfect is boring. I have to let Batman have a sense of humor for that reason. 

Since creating Conrad I've also taken to picking some scenarios that people have a general standardized reaction to, making a different decision, then figuring out why that makes sense. Really early on I decided that he didn't get jealous easily, notably so, and worked out that it was partially because he doesn't feel entitled to anyone's attention, but also because if he loves someone, he wants them to be happy and that doesn't necessarily have to involve him. So figuring out that Jon had feelings for Damian didn't do anything to him, because, well, Jon is in the 8th grade, that would be ridiculous to feel threatened by at that point, but also because someone loving Damian that much to him is a good thing. He loves Damian, other people should too. Which is...kind of a good trait, if only it didn't stem so much from his lack of self-worth.

I think every character choice should be intentional. They don't all have to be deep, but the more specific you are, the more tools you have to play with, and the more ways you can twist them out of shape. When you make decisions and stick with them, you create limitations, and those limitations are where I think an interesting plot comes from.

Shockingly, I do have more thoughts, but I feel like this is already far more than you asked for, and I do need to finish chapter 12, so I’ll cut it here. 

Also…this ask truly made my evening, and as such I feel compelled to share a tease of how I plan to celebrate the completion of the fic.

Look at him go!