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house-of-slayterr · 2 years ago

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Inappropriate Work Conduct:

Ravi had been working with you for months now, enjoying having a secondary lab assistant when Liv was helping Detective Babineaux. You rolled your shoulders, groaning as you bones ached. There had been a huge incident down at the bank earlier that morning, twelve hostages were killed and many more injured. You were sure the hospital felt just as swamped as you did.

Moving bodies around all day was exhausting, but this job was what you loved. You weren’t as keen on the people side of things, preferring to stick to yourself. Working in funeral directing wasn’t something you wanted, but something your parents pushed you into. Family tradition and what not, but when they passed, you moved onto something a little more tolerable. Now the only people you had to deal with where your lab partners and the cops. Which, other than Clive, none seemed to want to come down here.

You didn’t mind it though. It meant more quiet time. You must have zoned out, with your hands in someone chest cavity, because Ravi was calling your name.

“Hello! Earth to Y/N” he waved a hand in front of your face.

You came back to, to see your best friend waving at you.

“Where you even listening to me?”

You frowned.

“Sorry.”

“What’s gotten into you lately. I know you don’t talk much, but listening ears are your strong suit.”

You rolled your eyes at the statement. Was that meant to be a compliment?

“Yeah, sorry, just thinking.”

“Clearly, I thought I saw smoke over here.”

Another one of his jokes. You’d grown used to them, not finding them as annoying as you once did.

“Spill!”

“What are you, a teenage girl?”

“Liv would back me up!”

“That’s because she actually is a a teenage girl, did you see how giddy she was when she left today? Weird.”

He gave you his best puppy dog eyes, and you caved as always.

“I was thinking about a boy, ok? Happy?”

“Very.” He smirked, leaning in.

You groaned at his childishness.

“You’re not getting any details.”

“Oh come on, we’re friends.”

“We work together.”

“Ouch.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. No talking boys on the job Chakrabarti! Now can you get back to dissecting John Doe over there, he’s not gonna do it himself and I don’t want to be here until 3am.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes. I sighed heavily.

“Look, there’s not much to tell ok. We met last night at the club-“

“You went to a club?”

“I do have a life outside of work, you know that right?”

“I know but I was expecting library, not dank building full of writhing bodies.”

“We’ll you’re not wrong on the first part, but my sister was in town, she dragged me out for her birthday, before leaving this morning. God I don’t know how she got up that early for a flight when she was out all night.”

“You’re sister was in town?”

“Not important.”

“Is she hot?”

“Ravi! I will cut off your gossiping privileges I swear to god. Never call my sister hot again.”

“What?!? If she looks anything like you-“

You blushed.

“I am going to stab you.” You picked up a scalpel from the table. “I can make it look like an accident”

He held up his hands in defeat.

“Ok ok, your sister is off limits, got it. Now continue.”

“I don’t know, he bought me a few drinks, we danced, snogged a little. Nothing fancy, but for some reason I can’t get him off my mind.”

“Awwww somebodies in love!”

“Hardly.”

“Says the person daydreaming about a guy, while another man’s heart is literally in your hands.”

You looked down to see you were indeed holding the aforementioned organ. When did you remove it? Must have gone back into auto pilot.

“Was he good?”

“What?”

“At kissing?”

“Eww, Ravi why must you be like this?”

You threw a pair of pliers in his direction. Consciously choosing the tool that would hurt the least, at least you tried to aim away from him. You did have good aim. You were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

“Hello Detective, how can we help?” Ravi greeted.

You looked down at you feet, awkwardly shuffling around the table. You weren’t trying to be rude, but the Detective had an intense personality. His aura was all consuming, like that one friend of Liv and Ravi’s, Major. And you wouldn’t even get started on Peyton, she scared you beyond belief. But most strong women did, you couldn’t help it, she was pretty and it made your brain stupid. You hoped you weren’t making him feel awkward, it was nothing personal. You just only made eye contact with a select few, and even then it was pretty much limited to when Ravi wanted something from you.

“Any updates on the bodies?”

He always sounded so stiff and uncomfortable when he came down here. It kinda make you laugh, which apparently you were so out fo it today that you’d actually laughed out loud. All eyes in the room where on you.

“Sorry, thought of a joke.” You lied.

Big mistake, cause now Ravi wouldn’t drop it. It seemed even the Detective was anxious to hear why you’d interrupted him. You just wanted the two men to stop looking.

“What do you get when you cross a morgue and a comedy club?”

Ravi waited in silent anticipation, and the detective raised a brow at you.

“An open Mike, night.”

You emphasised the joke by lifting the pair of lung in your hands, before setting them on the table. Ravi chuckled a little, which made you feel better about your impromptue joke skills.

“Wasn’t aware you were such a comedian Miss Y/N.”

“Sorry, continue.” You said.

“Nothing really special about any of the kills, average nine millimetre rounds. Except Jane doe over there had strangulation marks around her neck, and a bite mark post mortem.” Ravi explained.

You watched as he showed her to the detective. You kinda felt bad. What kind of person strangles a woman, shoots her in the head and then bites her neck? A phone rang and the detective looked annoyed, picking it yup.

“Hello? Yeah… he’s right here… really? Alright, be there in a second.” He sighed.

You raised a brow at Ravi, that the detective didn’t see.

“Liv is requesting you, crazy psychic stuff.”

You’d forgotten about that. Was Olivia really a psychic? It was she just good at reading people and wanted an excuse to leave the stuffy lab. You wanted any excuse to stay down here.

“You’ll be ok by yourself?“ Ravi asked, genuinely sounding bad about leaving you with all the work.

You nodded toward the staircase, letting him know it was ok. He came over and gave you a hug goodbye, something you should be used to by now, but you still stiffened at the touch.

“Maybe you can tell your joke again, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.” Clive spoke, gesturing to the bodies splayed all over your workspace.

You were grateful when they left, finally having the morgue all to yourself. But that didn’t last long. After about half an hour of working, there was a knock at the end of the stairs, a curtesy knock at best. You didn’t bother to look up, humming in a “can I help you?” tone. The person seemed to understand your gesture.

“Sorry, was just wondering when the pretty lady who works down here, had some free time.”

You recognised the voice instantly. You head shot up as you looked at the guy from last night. You squinted your eyes at him, you hadn’t told him where you worked. You hid a scalpel in your back pocket, just in case. You walked over to the sink, taking off your gloves and scrubbing your arms clean. He seemed to make himself comfortable as he leaned against the desk in the corner.

“What can I do for you?” You asked, putting on your best professional voice.

“Oh come on, not even a blush at my compliment? You seemed to like them last night.” You hated that stupid smirk on his face, god was he handsome.

“Contextualise it.” You deadpanned.

He spread his lips in a tight line.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, suspiciously.

“We’ll I was looking for a short blonde, dead in the eyes, annoyingly chipper… you know her?”

It clicked, he was here for Liv, not you. You sighed, loosening your grip on the “weapon”

“She out with Ravi and the Detective, you just missed them.”

“Shame.” He hummed.

He fidgeted with some stuff on Ravi’s desk.

“Need me to leave a message?”

“No no, it’s alright.”

You raised a brow when he made no attempt to leave. You shrugged it off and went back to work.

“Whatever you say.”

He watched from the desk as you easily dismembered the next body. He had to admit, you looked really nice in your lab gear, sawing into some girls chest. Everything you did looked effortless, like you were in your element. He licked his lips hungrily, getting up from the desk. You watched as he got closer, turning off the saw and lifting your goggles.

“Yes?”

Without skipping a beat, this idiot attempted to flirt with you on the job.

“So, my love life has been as dead as this poor guy. Feel like opening up the casket and resurrecting it?”

You eyes widened, and you let out a snort, quickly devolving into a little chuckle. He found it utterly adorable.

“You did not just- I don’t even remember your name Blondie.” You giggled.

“Blaine, but you can call me yours.” He attempted.

You laughed once again, taking off your gear once more, not wanting to continue this conversation covered in some girls blood. Not that he would mind, he found it quite hot actually.

“Nice one Casanova.” You jeered.

“Oh come on, you find me charming.”

“We’re you this cocky last night?” You questioned, looking back as you scrubbed yourself clean once more.

“I’m only as cocky as you want me to be.”

You rolled your eyes, making your way over to him. You maintained eye contact, which surprised even you. You weren’t normally this bold.

“And you presume to know what it is that I want?”

It was his turn to chuckle, who talked like that in this day and age. You were much more eloquent when you weren’t drunk. But he was glad you didn’t seem to be Ignoring his advances. You were different from the other girls he flirted with, in fact, he didn’t want to be flirting with anyone else right now. You’d been on his mind all night.

“I’m hardly presumable.” He mocked your tone.

You placed a hand on his chest, attempting to push him toward the stairs.

“Not that this little spat wasn’t fun, mate, but as you can see, there’s lots of work to be done. I can’t have you distracting me.”

“So I’m distracting?” He questioned.

You rolled your eyes.

“Tell me you’ll let me take you out, and I’ll leave!” He declared.

“What is this? A hostage situation!” You joked.

“You’d make a cute hostage.”

Creepy, but you saw where his attempt was.

“And if I say no?”

“Then poor Jane Doe over there is gonna have to wait, cause I’m a rather good distraction.” He grinned.

You hummed.

“And where would you take me?“

You walked over to your own desk, taking down your hair to readjust it.

“Anywhere you want.”

“Anywhere? How romantic? This how you bag all the girls?”

“I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me, or just really good at making insensitive jokes.” He pointed to the three body bags in the corner of the room.

“Both?” You laughed. “What can I say, my humours a crowd killer.”

He laughed at that, a sound you wanted so desperately to hear again.

He came over to your desk, standing over you. He was quite a bit taller, and you felt small under his gaze.

“The worlds yours, where do you want to go?”

You thought for a moment.

“Honestly, I just want to go home.”

“Trying to get me in bed are we?”

You playfully slapped his chest.

“No, just not a fan of outings. We wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t my sisters birthday.”

“We’ll tell her I say thank you.”

“I never said that was a good thing.” You joked.

“Ouch!” He placed a hand over his heart.

“So what would we do?”

“I could cook.” You suggested.

“I’m asking you out, and you want to cook me a home cooked meal? You you say I’m the romantic.”

You could tell there was something off about that statement. Most men would be happy about free food.

“Not of fan of that idea?”

“No no, It’s good. I just have a strict diet. Wouldn’t want to make you do that extra work. How about a movie instead?”

“It wouldn’t be a big deal, but sure, I like movies.”

“And what would we watch?” He asked, tilting your chin up to make him look at you.

You could get lost on his eyes for hours. Which is why you weren’t a fan of eye contact. It was making you squirm, which you were sure is exactly what he wanted. It had been so long since you’d even had a crush on someone, let alone been with anyone. What was it, premed school… yikes. No wonder you were down bad for the first man to shamelessly throw himself at you.

“Texas Chainsaw Massacre!” You declared.

Far happier about that statement than you expected. It was always your habit, trying to scare away people who weren’t worth your time. Normally boys left the second they found out what your job was. But he he was, flirting you up at work.

“That’s hot.” He said.

Before you could stop yourself, you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a hungry kiss. Finally breaking the thick tension in the room. He kissed back feverishly. You walked backwards, pushing him up against Ravi’s desk. Something fell, but you’d replace whatever it was later. He fiddled with your lab coat, pulling it off, and you attempted to unbutton his shirt. But you two were hit off but someone clearing their throat once more. Much to his displeasure.

You pulled back, running a hand through your hair as you looked to see Liv, Ravi and Clive standing there. Blaine smirked at them, sending a wink to Liv.

“What the hell are you doing, get away from her!” Ravi shouted.

You raised a brow.

“Sorry, may have gotten a little carried away there, that was my fault.” You apologised, straightening yourself out.

“Guys this is Blaine, guy from the club.”

He raised a brow at that statement, chuckling under his breath. Was that all he was, some guy from the club.

“We know who he is.” Liv spat bitterly, “and you’re going to stay far, far away from her.” She looked to him.

Where was this coming from. He seemed like a decent guy, why were the suddenly acting live over protective parents? Sure you were the youngest, but this was excessive.

“No can do Liverooni, we have a date.” He said proudly. “It would be rude of me to cancel”

“Yeah he’s not cancelling. It was inappropriate for me to, Ummm, kiss him at work, but that doesn’t mean it ok for you to voice your opinions on who I date.”

Clive had to give you that much. He himself didn’t quite know why the two hated this man. But he knew he must have been no good if that was the case. Liv and Ravi didn’t hate anyone, let alone together.

“He’s going to hurt you.” Liv said.

“And maybe it’s my prerogative to get hurt? Who are you to decide if that’s worth it to me? Besides, I respectfully disagree.”

You walked over to the desk, scribbling your number on a piece of paper and shoving it in his chest. You pointed to the stairwell.

“I think you should leave, thank for the visit.”

He grinned down at you, seeing how quickly you shifted from fierce, to shy again.

“See you later Killer.” He joked, referencing your love for horror movies.

Each of your coworkers raised a brow at that. Liv opened her mouth to say something else but you cut her off.

“You’ve said enough, I’ve got work to do” you said exasperated.

Clive excused himself from to the group, following the sketchy man out the door.

“We don’t talk about boys at work?” Ravi joked.

At least he was trying. But what was the deal with Blaine? What was so bad about him that both your best friends despised him?

An: nobody asked for this lol, but I’m back on zombie Brain rot 😈

#izombie #IZombie x reader #blaine debeers x reader #blaine debeers #liv moore #clive babineaux #ravi chakrabarti

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wandaromanova · 4 years ago

Note

Can you do a fluffy wanda one (with a little angst because of course) where reader and wanda are best friends, reader wants more, but thinks wanda is interested in vision so she doesnt say anything. And then one day a mission goes wrong, and reader gets into an accident that results in her getting powers, and it makes wanda wake up and confess her feelings?

Requited Love

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, injury, that’s all!

A/N: hello! i hope you enjoy what i’ve created out of your request, anon! sorry i couldn’t think about how i could incorporate the powers part of the request! not proofread, so i apologize for any grammatical errors! join my taglist here <3

Summary: Wanda Maximoff and Y/N L/N are your typical best friends who refuse to admit their feelings for each other.

Word Count: 3.3K (had a lil too much fun with this)

(gif is not mine)

You and your best friend, Wanda, had been friends practically since the moment she had joined the team. Being the youngest Avenger, you were so excited that there would finally be another member that was close to your age. Despite the events of Sokovia, you didn’t fear the woman. If anything, it only made the urge to get closer to her stronger.

Her powers absolutely mesmerized you. From the color of her powers to the different ways she could use them to her advantage; it was mind blowing how much power she had literally at her fingertips. As time went on, you and Wanda became very close. You’d always have movie nights together in your room, which eventually led to the Sokovian woman peacefully sleeping next to you in your bed.

Not only was Wanda drop dead gorgeous, but she was genuine and humble. She had confided in you about the many different traumas she had been through and expressed how the surreal amount of grief constantly consumed her. It broke your heart to know that such an amazing person was put through so much.

Her past could’ve easily turned her into a villain, but she decided to go the opposite direction. She came to the conclusion that her powers could help others and that’s what she had chosen to do in Sokovia and up to now. It was why she had agreed to join the Avengers in the first place. Wanda knew how awful the world could be and she wanted to be there for people the way that her family had been before they passed. The amount of respect you had for Wanda was immeasurable.

Over the span of two years, you and Wanda became joined to the hip. Wanda didn’t even sleep in her own bed anymore. Before, she would just accidentally fall asleep in your room or sneak into your room in the late hours of the night to sleep with you. But now, she just barged into your room every night and slept there. She said that you kept the nightmares she had at bay and you were more than happy to be there for her if it meant she got a full night’s rest.

You both jumped at any opportunity you guys could to be on the same mission as the other. You not only wanted to spend time with her, but you wanted to protect her. Lord knows that Wanda of all people could handle herself, but it kept you at peace when you were with her; knowing that she had you to back her up. Naturally, you fell in love with your best friend.

At first, you thought you were just confusing your special platonic friendship with Wanda for romantic feelings. But sometimes you caught yourself wanting to kiss Wanda. You knew damn well that friends don’t daydream about making out with each other. So, yeah, you definitely had feelings for Wanda, but there was one thing standing in your way; Vision.

Vision basically joined the team at the same time Wanda did. He was created during the Ultron situation and has been an Avenger since then. Wanda and Vision were very close. They weren’t as close as you and Wanda were, but he was a close second. They had a bond over the mind stone that you couldn’t ever compete with. This fact discouraged you and forced you to keep your mouth shut. You’d rather keep your feelings to yourself and suffer in private than risk your friendship with Wanda.

I mean, you didn’t even know if Wanda was into girls! She could be as straight as a wooden ruler and you would most definitely embarrass yourself if you told her. Vision wasn’t exactly a man by any means, he was a robot. If Wanda were to like Vision that must mean you had a chance right? Not to be an ass, but he’s literally a hunk of metal. Regardless of all these thoughts, you knew at the end of the day that you would have to hide your feelings for the sake of maintaining the relationship you currently have with the Sokovian.

You did pretty good at hiding your feelings for awhile. You acted as if everything was normal and not like you were emotionally crying out inside every time you saw Wanda with Vision. It began to get too much when you had caught sight of the pair cooking Paprikash in the communal kitchen. Cooking was something you and Wanda used to do together. It was kind of your thing. It may seem silly, but watching her do something with Vision that used to be sacred to you both hurt.

You began to distance yourself the closer Wanda and Vision got together. What sucked even more was that Wanda didn’t even acknowledge your sudden distance. She no longer slept in your room, opting to spend her nights with Vision. You were dying inside and Wanda didn’t even care to notice.

You had a mission to get to today. Usually, Wanda would be down in the hangar whenever you were going on a mission without her, but she wasn’t there today. She was probably off somewhere with Vision, again. It stung that Wanda didn’t even want to see you off. She was so preoccupied with Vision that she didn’t even give you a second thought. A toaster was stealing your best friend who you just so happened to be madly in love with away from you. And you couldn’t do anything to stop it.

So, you reluctantly got onto the Quinjet with Steve who was accompanying you on the mission. Fury only sent you two in for this mission because it was a simple one. It didn’t require the entire team to complete. You both were to capture and detain the scientist responsible for the latest human experimentations at the hands of Hydra. From the intel gathered by S.H.I.E.L.D, their security wasn’t that bad so it would be a walk in the park for you and Steve. You had just left and you already desperately wanted to go home and wallow in your own self pity in the comfort of your bed.

But first, you had to get this mission over with. The Quinjet landed a little far away from the small Hydra base. You and Steve made your way out of the jet and began to trudge your way toward the building. As you guys got closer, Steve stopped abruptly.

“No matter what, we stick together okay? Just because this should be an easy mission, doesn’t mean we should let our guard down. Understand?” He lectured you sternly as he stared at you intensely.

“Yeah. I got it, Cap.” You replied to him dismissively as you continued to make your way toward the building. You took note of the five guards that were guarding the entrance and gave Steve a nod before you both sprung into action.

After you guys had taken down the entrance guards, you both sneakily made your way into the building. It was pretty easy to find your target, seeing that the building was the size of a house. You and Steve barged into the room, the scientist whipping around quickly and freezing in shock at the sight of you both.

Steve quickly charged at the man and placed him into handcuffs. As Steve pulled the man up by the collar, forcing him to his feet, a thought crossed your mind. This is too easy. Only five guards and the professor was just conveniently in here? This had to be a setup.

Before you could voice your concerns to Steve, you felt a sharp pain rip through your shoulder as Hydra agents flooded into the room. You fell to your knees in pain as Steve threw the target to the ground. He quickly began to fight as many agents as he could. You stood up as you tried to temporarily forget the pain. You began to take on agents yourself. Despite being injured, you kicked their asses with ease.

You were down to the last agent while Steve was pulling the scientist back up to his feet, much more aggressively this time. For some reason, your thoughts went to Wanda. How would she react to your injury? Would she even bother to visit you to make sure you were okay?

Unfortunately, you had chosen the wrong time to become distracted by your thoughts of Wanda. While your thoughts were racing, you failed to notice the glint of a knife in the agent’s left hand. As you blocked one of his punches, he quickly stabbed you right in the stomach. At this, Steve jumped in to help you and made quick work of knocking out the man who stabbed you.

You fully fell to the floor this time, gasping for air. Not only were you shot, but now you got stabbed. Seriously? Did god decide you weren’t already having a shitty enough time? Steve quickly picked you up in his arms in a panic. He carried you to the Quinjet while making sure the scientist was following behind you both. Steve placed your body onto the medical table that was in the Quinjet, handcuffed the man to a railing, and sped off to the compound. He took note of how much blood you lost; it was a lot to say the least. If he didn’t get to the compound soon, he feared you wouldn’t make it; and that wasn’t an option.

The 30 minute trip to the compound turned into a 15 minute ride. Steve quickly rushed you into the medical wing of the compound and placed you into the care of Doctor Helen Cho. He knew he had to tell the team about what happened. The Avengers were a family, and you being the youngest meant you were like a child to them, well besides Wanda obviously.

Steve hurriedly made his way into the living room of the Avenger’s living quarters and made sure Jarvis informed everyone that it was an emergency. As Steve entered, everyone turned to face him with worry present on each of their faces.

“What’s wrong, Rogers? Is everything okay?” Natasha asked as she looked over his body. There was an insane amount of blood all over his star-spangled suit. “It’s Y/N.”

At Steve’s words, everyone in the room stood in shock as their jaws dropped. But no one’s feelings could compare to Wanda’s. She abruptly stood up from the couch and made her way towards Steve.

“What about her? What happened to her?” Wanda began to get angry as hints of her powers made their way to her eyes. Steve took a step back and looked at Wanda before returning his gaze back to the other people in the room. You could hear a pin drop in the silence of the room.

“We went on a mission together. It was supposed to be an easy in and out thing. But we were setup. She got shot in the shoulder and stabbed in the abdomen. She’s in the medical wing right now.” Steve spoke strongly, attempting to remain calm for the sake of the team, but he was terrified inside. Your state refused to leave his mind. Your limp body in his arms as your warm blood covered his hands.

Wanda didn’t say another word as she ran towards the elevator and impatiently hit the button to the medical wing. She didn’t bother to wait for anyone else. Nothing mattered right now except you.

Wanda had feelings for you. Ever since she met you, you were this light in the darkness that was her life. You could cheer her up when no one else could. You knew her better than she knew herself. You were not only her best friend, but you were the woman she was irrevocably in love with. She was terrified to tell you how she felt. She thought she would lose you if she had confessed how she truly felt for you. So, she remained quiet and tried to forget about her feelings for you by hanging out with Vision more. She wasn’t using Vision by any means, she genuinely did enjoy his company. But he wasn’t you.

Wanda didn’t even wait for the elevator doors to fully open as she squeezed herself through the small gap and made her way towards the medical bay doors. Before Wanda could open the door, Steve abruptly grabbed her hand, stopping her from going any further. He must’ve taken the stairs. Damn his super soldier abilities.

“Wanda. Stop. I know you’re worried about Y/N, we all are. But barging in there won’t be any help. You need to let Cho and her nurses focus on helping her.” Steve desperately tried to talk some sense into Wanda; it worked. Wanda’s shoulders slumped as she made her way towards the seating area that was right outside the doors. All she could do was sit, wait, and pray to whatever god there was that you would be okay.

Wanda didn’t even know you were going on a mission today. If she did, she would’ve went to the hangar and hugged you before she left, like she always did. Oh fuck, she didn’t even get to see you off and now look at your state. Now that she thought about it, she had been neglecting you for some time now. She let her fear of her feelings consume her. She spent more time with Vision than with you, and now she wasn’t sure if she would get the opportunity to be with you again. The thought of not being able to tell you how in love with you she was mortified her. This was the wake up call she needed.

——————————————————————————

2 hours later

After two agonizingly slow hours, Doctor Cho made her way towards the anxious group of heroes. Wanda shot up from her seat and approached Helen.

“How is she? Please, tell me she’s okay.” Wanda asks as she nervously chews on her bottom lip. “Y/N is fine. Luckily, the knife didn’t hit any major arteries. She won’t be able to make any sudden movements for the next few weeks which means no missions until I give her clearance.” At Cho’s words, the entire team was struck with relief. Wanda’s eyes lit up at the good news. You were okay. You were still here.

“Can we see her?” Steve asked from behind Wanda as he made his way to stand beside her. “Yes, shes awkward, but only one person can go in at a time. She’s very sensitive right now from the anesthesia.” Helen gave the team a smile before walking off.

Everyone looked at Wanda as she gave them a nod. Of course she had to go in first. You and Wanda may have been oblivious to each other’s feelings, but the team wasn’t. It was almost annoying how unaware you two were of how the other person felt.

Wanda quietly made her way into your room and almost let out a sigh of relief as she saw you laying on the table awake. You were trying to reach for a glass of water beside your bed, but the pain in your side made the small task a burden. Wanda quickly made her way to the table and handed you the glass of water. You were startled since you didn’t even hear her enter the room. You took the water from her hands and took a long sip before handing it back to her.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked coldly as you glared at the Sokovian woman. She was shocked at your animosity. You were never like this with her before. “I needed to make sure you were okay. I was worried sick.” Wanda frowned as she pulled a chair up to your bedside and sat in it.

“Oh. Now you suddenly remember I exist? It only took me nearly dying for you to notice me again.” You knew you weren’t being fair. You guys were just best friends and she was entitled to hang out and be with whoever she wanted. But the part of you that loved her and longed for more took over.

“Y/N. I’m sorry I haven’t been around as often. I got caught up hanging out with Vision when I should’ve been there for you.” Wanda’s eyes softened as she stared at your face. She missed you so much. She may have seen you around the compound, but she hasn’t been this close to you in what felt like decades.

“Yeah. You got caught up with Vision. Why don’t you just go back to him now. I’m fine.” You stubbornly spoke as you tore your eyes away from Wanda and stared out the window in front of your bed.

Wanda made a ballsy move and grabbed your hand in here. Thankfully, you didn’t move it away. “Y/N. I don’t care about Vision, I care about you. I love you and I mean that in more than a friendly way.” At Wanda’s words, your head snapped back to her as you looked over her features for any indication of a lie; you didn’t find any.

“I was spending time with Vision to try and forget my feelings for you. That obviously backfired and only solidified what I already knew I felt. I’m sorry it took such a terrible situation for me to finally grow the balls to tell you this. I love you Y/N.” Wanda squeezed your hand tightly as she stared at you full of love and adoration.

You were speechless. As cliche as it sounds, this was what you’ve wanted since the moment you laid eyes on her. She said the three words you’ve been longing to hear spill from her mouth. She loved you too.

“I love you too, Wanda. I’m sorry. I thought you had a thing for Vision and I let jealousy and insecurity get the better of me.” You looked down in shame as you tried to pull your hand out of Wanda’s hold, but she only gripped it tighter.

“Don’t be sorry. I completely understand. I’m so glad your okay and I’m so unbelievably happy that you feel the same way.” Wanda smiled brightly at you as you smiled right back. You guys must’ve looked like maniacs with your big, cheesy smiles, but you didn’t care.

Wanda began to slowly lean towards you. You attempted to meet her in the middle, but only ended up wincing in pain as you were reminded of your impressive stab wound. Wanda let out a laugh.

“Let me handle it, moya lyubov (my love).” Wanda said before closing the gap between you both and giving you a heated, desperate kiss. All the pent up emotions that you both had been withholding from each other were coming to light through this kiss. You guys were interrupted by the door swinging open abruptly and the sound of someone clearing their throat.

You both jumped apart as you cringed at the sting of your injuries. You turned to the door and caught sight of the team standing at the door with shit eating grins on their face.

“Sorry to interrupt you, lovebirds. But we wanted to check on Y/N too. Cho gave us the clear to come in now.” Natasha smirked at yours and Wanda’s flustered states.

“Pay up, Barnes.” Sam said as he held his hand out to Bucky, who groaned before placing 50 dollars in his hand. You and Wanda stared at the two confused, Bucky took notice of this and decided to fill you both in.

“We made a bet on when you two would get together. I said in the next two months, he said in the next two weeks. He won.” Bucky gave you both a shy, almost embarrassed smile.

Everyone in the room laughed, making you and Wanda turn even more red than before. You didn’t care about the inevitable, endless teasing you would have to endure after today. You would deal with the comments forever as long as it meant Wanda was by your side. You once thought that she didn’t feel the same, and you were so glad you were proven wrong. Sometimes, love can be requited after all.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #avengers #scarlet witch #request

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scariusaquarius · 4 years ago

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to taste the freedom of peace. 3.

Ken Kaneki x Female! Reader

Synopsis: Anteiku is one of your favorite coffee spots in Tokyo. When a new worker suddenly pops up, you can’t help but notice.

A/n: I just want to write father! Kaneki and daughter! Readers but idek if anybody would be interested in those kinds of works rip I can only dreammmmmmm

CHAPTER ONE / CHAPTER TWO

Genre: Romance, Friendship Rated: Everyone Warning: Fluff, Sweet themes

Author: ScariusAquarius

Ever since you had asked Kaneki to be friends with you, you two would share lunch together, discussing Sen Takatsuki’s works and bonding over coffee. There were times that you would stay talking with him for so long that it would get dark, and the two of you would walk together to your home.

After a while of Kaneki walking you home when you would stay until closing, you both exchanged numbers, and you both would text each other about other shared interests other than Takatsuki.

You noticed, however, that there was this strange air of mystery about Kaneki. You knew there were some things that he was holding back, but you just weren’t sure what.

Not to say that it was a bad thing, moreso….a factor that piqued your interest in the young man. To say that Kaneki was the same would be an understatement.

You plagued his mind every night, every waking moment that he had, and it stupefied the young man. You were on his mind so much that there were days that he wouldn’t even realize he was thinking about you until he was already three daydreams in. It was honestly embarrassing sometimes.

However, when you stopped coming in, Kaneki’s world was thrown completely upside down. A constant that suddenly became nothing…it worried him. As Kaneki stared at your empty usual seat, Yoshimura’s voice gently interrupted Kaneki’s troubled thoughts.

“I’m sure that Ms. (L/n) is alright, Kaneki. She’s a strong young woman who is very capable of taking care of herself.”

“But what if…what if she was taken by a ghoul? She could be in trouble.”

Yoshimura sighed before a gentle smile crossed the old man’s lips, resting a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder.

“I cannot assure that isn’t a possibility, but you cannot allow yourself to assume that she is in trouble or else you will rush into trouble yourself.”

Kaneki sighed deeply, and he rubbed his hand in anxiety. He couldn’t’ help but disagree with Yoshimura, however. Had you been fine, you would have texted him to inform him about your absence….right?

Maybe he could check up on you…see what was going on. Kaneki nodded to himself. After work, he would swing by your place. So, when the time to leave came, Kaneki was a mad dash out of Anteiku and running to your place. Biting his lip, Kaneki was frozen when he stood at your door.

‘What should I do? Should I call her first? Should I knock?’

As Kaneki was thinking, the front door began to open, and Kaneki’s mouth was agape as you stepped out. However, it wasn’t from the shock of seeing you.

You looked sick.

“Kaneki? What are you doing here?”

Your eyes had bags beneath them, cheeks a little sunken in, and you were pale. You looked as though you hadn’t gotten sleep in days, and Kaneki answered you honestly, holding up a cup of coffee that he had brought from the shop.

“I haven’t seen you or heard from you in a while. I got worried about you.”

You looked surprised, and Kaneki asked you.

“Are you alright?”

You swallowed thickly, gingerly taking the cup, and your eyes welled with tears. Kaneki was at a loss of words as you took a sip, eyes closing in bliss, and you let a small smile grace your lips.

“Anteiku coffee never fails to make me feel better.”

You looked up at Kaneki, saying to the young man while holding a hand out.

“Come take a walk with me, Kaneki.”

Kaneki asked you.

“Are you sure? It’s super late…and dangerous!”

“Don’t worry, I walk this way every single new moon.”

Every single new moon? Kaneki was on edge as he walked with you, getting flashbacks to Rize, and he became nervous. Even though he could smell that you were human, could he be completely sure?

“Why do you like to walk during the new moon?”

You smiled at him, sipping your coffee and tightening your hold on his hand.

“When you get far enough from the city, you can see all the stars in the night sky.”

You both were in a secluded park, the night sky twinkling brightly with stars, and you added as you sat on a bench in the middle of the park.

“It’s comforting being so close to the universe like this. When you feel that you have nobody, the universe is always there for you.”

Kaneki glanced over at you, saying softly as his heart began to race.

“But I’m here.”

You went quiet, looking down at your coffee, and you asked him softly without looking at him.

“How can you tell me that when you don’t even know that yourself?”

“I’m sitting next to you, aren’t I?”

You glanced at Kaneki, and the man softly smiled at you. Your eyes filled with tears agan, and Kaneki looked surprised.

“(Y/n), what’s wrong?”

You shook your head and rested it upon his shoulder, tightening your hold on his hand.

“It’s nothing, Kaneki. I promise. I’m just...comforted. Knowing that I’m not alone is comforting to me…more than I think you realize.”

Kaneki blinked before he relaxed, resting his head against yours. You asked him softly, staring down at your conjoined hands.

“Do you like the sky, Kaneki?”

Kaneki looked up, and it was then that he noticed just how beautiful the sky was. Stars were twinkling, the Milky Way galaxy shining brightly, and he answered honestly.

“I never knew how beautiful it was honestly. I never come out like this at night.”

You smiled gently before saying to him.

“I’m glad. I feel so much closer to the universe like this…like I’m closer to home.”

Kaneki looked down at you, and you looked up at him.

“What do you mean by that?”

You looked down at your coffee, looking at the reflection of the sky within the liquid, and you said to him gently.

“I’ll let you think about that. For now, I just…I want to sit here with you for a while…if that’s okay?”

Kaneki’s cheeks went red, and his heart began to race again, hands feeling a bit clammy, and he nodded.

“Of course.”

For a while, the two of you just sat there, listening to the sounds of the night. All was well until you began to cough. Kaneki was surprised, rubbing your back as you coughed into your arm, and Kaneki’s worry came crashing back down onto him all over again.

“(Y/n), I don’t mean to seem rude, but I’m starting to think that you aren’t fine.”

You looked at your lap as you calmed down, sighing tiredly. Your shoulders dropped, and Kaneki watched as your exhaustion came crashing down over your face.

“I...had an accident the other day.”

Kaneki’s head tilted, and he asked you.

“What happened?”

“...I was attacked by a ghoul.”

Kaneki’s heart dropped, eyes widening, and he asked you hastily.

“Are you okay? What happened? I should have been there. I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head, placing a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder as you looked at him.

“Don’t apologize, Kaneki. I purposefully didn’t say anything because it was my fault. I accidentally walked in on a ghoul during a frenzy. He hadn’t eaten in a while, so when he caught a whiff of me, he physically couldn’t resist. His kagune went through my ribs and punctured my lung.”

You held a hand to your ribs, wincing slightly.

“The ghoul had a friend with him...a kind one, thankfully. He was able to get the ghoul under control and took me to a hospital.”

Kaneki shook his head, his thumb rubbing your hand to comfort himself.

“I’m glad that you’re okay, (Y/n). I was worried when you hadn’t come in for a good two weeks. I debated on showing up to your place, but that would have been weird, right?”

“Maybe a little.”

You both chuckled, and you looked up at the stars.

“It makes me sad to think that ghoul had been starving for so long that he went insane with hunger. To think that a person is denied access to food just because of what they are...it’s unsettling how much humans lack compassion.”

You shook your head, sighing and laying your head against Kaneki’s shoulder.

“Ghouls are forced to kill because how else can they get food? Humans are too unsettled by the thought of donating corpses for ghouls to have, but when we live in the society that we do...what other choice do they have?”

Kaneki was speechless, and the only thing that left his mouth was a shaky breath.

“I wish more people thought like you, (Y/n). The world would be an easier place to live in.”

You nodded slowly before you sighed, a timer on your phone going off.

“That’s my timer for my medicine. Would you walk me back?”

Kaneki nodded, but when you went to stand, Kaneki stayed sitting. Looking back at him, you asked him as you tugged on his hand slightly.

“What the matter, Kaneki?”

Kaneki swallowed thickly, heart racing, and sweat pearled at his temples. Should he say it? Should he tell you?

“(Y/n), I...I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

Kaneki took a deep breath before he looked at you, one eye a glowing red within an abyss of onyx black.

“I’m a ghoul.”

The reaction he got wasn’t what he had expected. Instead of you being afraid or hating him, you simply chuckled before cupping his cheek, brushing your thumb against his right cheek.

“I don’t mind. Just tell me when you get hungry...and maybe don’t stab me in the lung.”

Kaneki didn’t know why, but he began to cry, holding your hand to his cheek. In shock, your eyes had widened, and you begged him gently, holding him close.

“I’m sorry, Kaneki. I’m so sorry the world is so unkind to you and your fellow ghouls. Please don’t cry. One day, the world will love you unconditionally.”

Kaneki was as careful as possible as he wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you close as he sobbed, so incredibly moved by you. What a lovely presence to have come into his life. As your fingers ran through his hair, your cheek resting atop his head, Kaneki glanced at the sky. What a beautiful sky indeed.

“Kaneki, we should get back. It’s getting too late. If you’re hungry, just let me know.”

“I’ll be okay...I promise.”

Kaneki stood up with you, hands still on your waist, and your hand in his hair fell to his chest. Kaneki stared down at you, blinking slowly as he took in your features. You were still the most beautiful person he had ever seen, no matter the situation or occasion. Kaneki asked you nervously.

“(Y/n)-?”

Almost as if sensing what it was that he wanted, you placed a finger on his lips to silence him.

“Don’t move too fast there, McQueen. Don’t spoil the riches so soon.”

Kaneki blushed deeply, and he rubbed at his chin, saying in response.

“Oh! I wasn’t going...going to do anything...a-anything like kiss you! I was...gonna offer a piggy-back ride.”

Good save. You smiled, nodding, and Kaneki quickly recovered, smiling at you as he turned and knelt.

“Ready?”

You asked at you climbed onto his back, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Sure that I won’t be too heavy for you?”

Kaneki smirked playfully, looking at you with his red eye.

“I’m a ghoul, doll. You’re a feather.”

You chuckled softly, gazing deeply into his red eye. Brushing a finger on his cheek beneath his eye, you said as he began to walk, turning away from you in embarrassment.

“Ghouls are such beautiful beings.”

“R-Really? What makes you say that?”

You chuckled softly, placing your cheek back onto his shoulder and holding him a bit tighter. Your voice was soft as you replied back to the man gently.

“Should you have to ask me that?”

Kaneki glanced back at you, and you continued, thumb gently brushing back and forth against the skin of his neck.

“His kagune was like looking into a beacon of light. Despite the pain in my chest when it pierced me, I couldn’t help but to think how akin it was to the sun...a burning beautiful light.”

Kaneki’s grip on your thighs tightened a bit, and he slowed his walk a bit.

“(Y/n), I’m really sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Neither of us knew that the situation would happen. Besides, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have walked in on the guy.”

Kaneki shook his head, looking back at you again.

“But he could have killed you, and that isn’t okay.”

You looked up at him, saying softly.

“Kaneki, you’re a sweet person.”

Kaneki flushed, and he wished that he could scratch at his face. He was beginning to feel nervous again as your fingers brushed against the skin of his neck, and he swallowed thickly. Looking back at you, Kaneki asked you in a rush.

“Do you wanna watch a movie...or something?”

You hummed, laying your head back down onto his shoulder and relaxing completely.

“That sounds nice...or maybe we could have some coffee...”

Your voice trailed off, and Kaneki smiled as he spied your apartment building.

“I could make some for us...though, I should probably stop at Anteiku to grab some....sugar cubes for me.”

You didn’t reply, and Kaneki looked back to spy your eyes closed, eyelashes kissing your skin. You were breathing deeply, obviously asleep, and Kaneki’s heart raced. You looked peaceful while asleep, but it was easy to see that you were incredibly exhausted. It made Kaneki wonder just how badly you had been wounded.

When he got to your door, Kaneki was lost on how to open the door without taking his hands from you and possibly causing you to fall. How could he open the door without letting you go? Kaneki was startled when your hand came past his head and grabbed hold of the door.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“I never fell asleep. I was just enjoying my free Uber ride.”

Kaneki chuckled sweetly, giving you a kind smile.

“I hope the ride wasn’t too bumpy for you, ma’am.”

“I’ll give you five stars if you help me with something.”

Kaneki smiled, slipping his shoes off after closing the door with his foot, and he asked you as he walked in, taking in your modern apartment and beautiful decorations.

“What do you need help with?”

Sitting you down onto the couch, you looked up at him as he turned and tilted his head cutely in wonder. You swallowed thickly before asking him.

“Can you help me change my bandages? It’s really hard to wrap them without help.”

Oh. Kaneki flushed and he nervously began to twiddle his thumbs. That means you would have to be shirtless, right? Oh god, that’s so lewd. Kaneki began to panic, and he froze when your warm hand came up to rest on his own.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Kaneki.”

“No, I do! I just...are you sure you’re okay with...with me seeing...seeing you...”

His voice trailed off, and you looked surprised before you began to laugh. Kaneki flinched as you laughed at him, and you reassured him.

“No, no, you aren’t going to see me like that, Kaneki. I was stabbed in the lower ribs.”

Kaneki relaxed, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“It’s okay. I’m not offended. Bandages are in my bathroom. It’s the door by the bedroom.”

Kaneki nodded, and he walked through your home, taking in the environment. On the walls in the hallway leading to your room and the bathroom, there were pictures and shelves of books and trophies from your youth. In one picture, you were riding a bike, a big and gapped smile staring back. There was a couple bandaids on your arms and legs, an indication of clumsiness.

There was a man behind you, smiling just as brightly, and Kaneki wondered if this was your father. Come to think of it, Kaneki didn’t remember you ever mentioning your family. He wondered if they were as kind and accepting as you.

The next photo seemed to be of your parents, your father standing next to a woman in a beautiful shiro-miku, presumed to be your mother. They both looked incredibly happy as they looked into each other’s eyes, looking as though they had just finished with the wedding ceremony itself.

There were a few more pictures highlighting your childhood and onwards. It seemed that the last photo that had been taken was of you was on your first day of school. Kaneki then stalled.

Your parents only showed up in half of your photos. Did something happen to them when you were young? Kaneki didn’t want to pry, so he allowed the thought to settle in the back of his mind for now. Getting your bandages from the bathroom, Kaneki spied your medicine and grabbed it as well. When he returned to you, you had set out the things that he needed for coffee, as well as some movies to choose from.

Kaneki almost dropped the things in his hand when he noticed that you were in just your jeans and a sports bra. Sloppily-wrapped bandages were on your torso, and Kaneki immediately looked down at his feet.

“I...I got your bandages and medicine.”

You looked back at him, and you smiled at him.

“Thank you.”

Sitting down behind you, Kaneki’s fingers began to shake as he reached for your bandages. When he began to unwrap them, that was when he saw the bruising. The right side of your ribs were almost purple, most likely from getting hit directly or thrown, and he winced as he revealed more of the wound.

There was a dirty bandage over the actual puncture wound, and when he carefully peeled it off, the smell was...something else. It wasn’t infection, but it was certainly irritated from the old bandage. How long had this been on?

“When was the last time you changed your bandages?”

You shrugged, saying and wincing as he inspected your wound.

“I think...maybe a week?”

Kaneki scolded you gently, carefully disinfecting the area and cleaning it up.

“You can’t keep bandages on like that, you know. You could get an infection.”

You replied gently.

“I know, but it’s hard for me to do this on my own. Reaching behind me to get the exit wound cleaned up is hard.”

So, the ghoul had stabbed through you? How on earth did you survive that? Kaneki bit his lip. Thank god that other ghoul was there and didn’t try to join in on eating you...the thought made his skin crawl. Kaneki gently wiped disinfectant on your stitches, cleaning the bruised and inflamed area.

There was old and dried blood on the surface of the scar, and Kaneki slowly wiped it away. When you flinched, Kaneki immediately froze and apologized, leaning back a bit.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just cold.”

Kaneki hummed, carefully wiping the rest of the debris away before applying the new bandage to the exit wound.

“I know, but it should help soothe the wound. I’m going to rewrap it now...properly.”

“Don’t make fun of my bandage wrapping. I put a lot of love into it, you know. Bandages are an art, and I’m not an artist.”

You both chuckled, and Kaneki replied.

“I promise I didn’t mean to come off as making fun of you.”

“I know, don’t worry.”

Kaneki fastened the bandages in place, and you gently ran a hand down the neatly done wraps.

“How do you know how to do this, Kaneki?”

Kaneki answered honestly as he handed you your medicine and a glass of water.

“My mom wasn’t really around a lot when I was younger. She was always working...so whenever I would get hurt, I usually had to care for myself. Eventually, I taught myself the proper way of first aid.”

You smiled and looked back at him.

“Well, it certainly paid off, Dr. Kaneki.”

Kaneki flushed and pouted, poking your cheek.

“Take your meds.”

You giggled before taking your medicine, and you sighed, relaxing against the couch. Kaneki began to clean up for you, and you began to drift to sleep, curling up the best you could without putting pressure on your wounds.

When Kaneki had finished cleaning up, he watched as the bloody water went down the drain in the bathroom sink, tying up a trash bag full of the biohazard waste. Running a hand through his hair, he threw the small trash bag away before exiting the bathroom with quiet feet.

“Hey, I finished...cleaning.”

Kaneki was stopped by a small snore exiting your mouth, eyes closed tight as you slept, and Kaneki couldn’t help but smile. You looked peaceful as you slept, a small smile on your pretty lips, and Kaneki wondered how it was possible for someone to be so beautiful while asleep. Grabbing a blanket, Kaneki carefully placed it over you, tucking you in, and he suddenly had a strong urge to lay a kiss upon your face.

How unbecoming of him to think like that! Kaneki flushed and he shook his head, leaning up. Instead, Kaneki sighed and whispered gently after slipping his shoes on.

“Goodnight, (Y/n).”

[CHAPTER FOUR SOON]

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS WORK, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND REBLOG. SUPPORT YOUR CONTENT CREATORS.

#Ken Kaneki #Kaneki Ken #Ken #Kaneki #Reader #Ken Kaneki x Reader #Kaneki Ken x Reader #Ken x Reader #Kaneki x Reader #Tokyo Ghoul #Tokyo Ghoul x Reader

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im-whatchamccallit · 4 years ago

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Crushcrushcrush//Kim Hongjoong (ATEEZ)

Request: Hi i was wondering if you could do a soulmate werewolf hongjoong x human female reader angst and fluff like she over hears hongjoong saying something and she gets sad and shy and worried and stuff.....

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with fluff at the end, Werewolf!AU, Soulmate!AU, a bit of College!AU

Warnings: Hongjoong’s kind of a dick with irrational thinking, cussing I guess

Word Count: 7.2k

(A/N: Lets just pretend I didn’t disappear for 6 whole months, but i am back and my medication is no longer giving me the big sad so I’m a little more motivated to write.This isn’t the best work I’ve done, this is actually idea 10 for this prompt and idk if it’s executed properly but Imma keep trying and hopefully, to keep from falling back into a slump, I’ll start a new series so I have a regular scheduled fic for everyone. Also, I think I botched expressing the AUS here but just let me know what you think. Sorry for always disappearing, I can’t promise I won’t go off the grid again but I’ll try harder to be active in anyway)

Your mother always said crushes stayed crushes for a reason: they hurt. Bad. But you thought she was wrong, that your feelings for someone could one day be reciprocated later if not sooner, and that’s what led you to him. Kim Hongjoong. The day you met was a complete accident, your body slamming into his as you wandered aimlessly during your freshman year of high school. He was gorgeous with wide brown eyes, beautiful pink lips and cheeks, his hair styled differently from the other boys to reveal his forehead, showing his individuality. He was perfection.

“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Those were the first words he spoke to you, his voice so gentle, so sweet. And the way he reached out to help you with no hesitation, holding your hands as he pulled you up effortlessly.

It was love at first sight, all until he looked down to your hands, eyes catching a glimpse of your wrist, a row of zeros peeking through the sleeve of your uniform jacket. He slowly pushed the fabric up, both your eyes widening to see your soulmate clock had finally timed out, his hands releasing yours to check his own wrist, a quiver to his lips as his clock matched yours, his once soft eyes now hard as he stared you down.

“Stay far away from me.” He warned, not saying another word as he headed to his homeroom, your body frozen as you watched him disappear. He was so harsh, yet you liked him. Maybe suddenly finding his soulmate scared him, but it was no problem to you! You were bound to end up together so you played the waiting game with him, being the perfect soulmate you could possibly be whether he accepted it or not.

And that led you here, now seniors in college and still acting the way you were when you met. Hongjoong was still cold, treating you like some plague while you could only smile along. You weren’t sure how you missed the fact you lived in a predominantly werewolf area until a public service announcement came on your television one night to remind humans to stay indoors during the full moon, that night dedicated to werewolves being as free as they could be, but it made you even more hopeful when you were on your way home from work one night, taking a shortcut through the woods since it lead right to your backyard.

You were 16 at the time, so the sight of a shirtless person would obviously make you flustered, but a shirtless Hongjoong? Enough to cause a nosebleed. He was 16 as well, the exact age a werewolf develops a mate bond and, seeing as you’ve already been confirmed as soulmates in the human world, the sudden desire to latch onto you and never let you go once you locked eyes only made your lifelong attachment more real, and he was freaking out. He didn’t speak, opting to shift without removing the remainder of his clothes, your eyes wide as he moved deeper through the thick trees and towards the horizon where the orange sky was in full view and, the grin on your face just couldn’t stop growing. You knew werewolves had a stronger drive to their mates, so the idea that he could avoid you forever was laughable. Sure, you were both 23 and he has uped his disdain for you from staying silent to calling you any vile name he could think of, but it was only a matter of time before he came around. You just knew it.

“(Y/n), stop gawking.” Miyeon joked, poking your side to snap you from your daydreams, your eyes widening when you noticed a few of Hongjoong’s friend’s catching your gaze, a blush painting your face as you turned away.

“I wasn’t gawking, just making sure their table was okay. I am their waitress tonight.”

“And every other night because you said, and I quote, ‘I wanna work at any table my Joongie’s going to be at!’” She mocked, your eyes rolling as you looked back towards them.

You took a job at a diner just a few blocks from both your apartment and college campus, the pay great and the distance convenient. It was the only time you had to yourself instead of lingering to Hongjoong, figuring out his classes and breaks to give him snacks and lunches you’d personally make for him since you overheard him complain about the campus food before, only to be told they tasted like shit and he’d find his own food. It was a bit of a kick to the face to hear that, but you had one saving grace: his pack. The first time Hongjoong sent you away with a bitter remark, they were curious about you, tracking you down when they weren’t with their alpha to get more info on who you were and what you found so loveable about the man treating you like some demon. They were surprised by how sweet you were and how accepting you were to be the unwanted luna of an eight-wolf pack. They could never hate Hongjoong but they sure as hell loved you just a little more than him. Unbeknownst to both of you, Yunho and Mingi found out where you worked, making a plan with the others to take Hongjoong there as much as possible so he would have no choice but to interact with you, even if he stayed silent to not appear like an asshole in front of the various strangers dining as well. Hongjoong would honestly never return if he had the choice, but something about the restaurant’s signature burger kept bringing him back, which is why he was here, sipping his soda angrily as he waited on his meal that would be served by his worst nightmare, you.

“I don’t know why you don’t just find someone else. Isn’t it easy for humans to reject soulmates? You could move on with no problems.” She said, helping you grasp onto the steel tray covered in various meals, a huff leaving you as you put on a bright smile.

“Because I know it’s harder to move on for wolves. You guys don’t have a choice on who your mates are, and you just accept it once you meet them. I know Hongjoong will accept me eventually, it’s just gonna take some time.” You gave one more smile before wobbling towards the table in question.

Hongjoong tried not to follow the gaze of his pack as they watched you happily approach them, letting out a huff as you adjusted the tray onto your shoulder, grasping the plates and placing them in front of the respective person, Hongjoong’s nose twitching at the smell of his burgers and fries, not wasting anytime to dig in as the other’s thanked you, but you shyly looked at the male before you, the tray pressed to your chest as you tried to find a casual way to speak with him.

“I-uh- I-I remembered last time you asked for extra cheese, so I decided to put cheese in the burger too! I hope you like it better than the tofu stew I made you for lunch the other week.”

“I didn’t ask for extra cheese this time, so why put it inside my burger where I can’t take it off?” He said spitefully, mouth still full as he set the half-eaten burger down.

Your smile faltered but bounced back as you reached towards his plate.

“O-oh! Well, I can take it back and make you another! This time I ca-“

“’This time’? You should’ve just done it from the start. Your job is to listen and do what you’re told and you can’t even do that? What can you do right?”

You swallowed hard, your eyes wandering to the people now staring at you as the scene unfolded, your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you tried to hold it together. The worst he’s called you in an idiot and that was usually under his breath, so to practically say it out loud, in front of strangers while you were in the middle of a shift and forced to do nothing but smile like you usually would, felt like you were being stabbed and burned simultaneously. You couldn’t keep smiling, looking down as you tried to apologize, only for him to cut you off once again.

“Go bother someone else. Or hide in the back if you’re just gonna keep fucking up this much.”

The space was eerily silent, even with the soft music playing, your eyes not leaving your shoes as you shuffled away. It was a pitiful sight, Seonghwa releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you went to a neighboring table to retrieve plates and glasses left by a couple from before. He was ready to tear Hongjoong’s head off, not as a gamma to an alpha but as one friend to another, his jaw tight as he prepared to berate him the way he did you but, somehow, Wooyoung beat him by asking a question none of them thought to ask before.

“What did she ever do to you that you have to treat her like that?”

There was a strange but tense silence as they awaited his answer, watching him taking small bites of his fries as he stared ahead at nothing before turning to them with what could only be described as a sadistic smirk.

“Imagine being 13 and finding out the best years of your life, the years of dating, hooking up, just discovering who you are, are gone because your mate decides to show up and take that from you.”

“Are you fucking stupid? That’s the reason we have mates, so we can do those things with one person instead of random people!” Seonghwa nearly yelled, trying to keep his voice low as to not alarm anymore spectators again.

“For the past 7 years, I’ve been trying to get her to leave or just reject me, but it’s clear to me now that she’s just an idiot that doesn’t understand she’s not needed, by me or anyone. And, if you’re as dumb as her, I’ll simplify it for you: she’s unwanted.”

Whatever pain you felt before suddenly disappeared into a numbness you couldn’t explain. He knew you were there, that you could hear him, that you would hear him, and yet he still said it. You were conflicted and sad, your lips curling in a mixture of disgust and anger before settling on a bright smile. Never mind the fact your tears finally spilled over, that your heart ached with every beat and your body felt heavy with the weight of being rejected by someone you waited so long for, you just had to smile. Soulmates were supposed to be a sure thing, supposed to be your happily ever after, yet it just turned out to be a crush, one that you should’ve let die the day you met him.

“(Y/n/n)…” Miyeon spoke cautiously as you made your way towards the bar, your other coworkers watching from beside her as if you were some strange spectacle.

“We have to start cleaning, y’know? It’ll help us get out of here a lot faster tonight.” You said in your usual cheerful tone, tears still flowing and a faint crack to your voice.

“How about you just head home for the day, (Y/n)? We can handle everything from here.” Your manager said, her eyes scanning your face as you moved past them and to the kitchen, their bodies following instinctively.

“What? No! I’m fine! We still have 4 more hours to go and I think if I get a head start with the chefs for tomorrow lunch specials I ca-“

“(Y/n), please-“

“I’m fine, Miyeon! Really! It’s not like I got broken up with or anything, I never even had a boyfriend! Just a crush on someone that thinks I’m a waste of space! Isn’t that super ironic? Spending most of your life chasing after someone that wants nothing to do with you? That’s really funny, right?” You choked out, lips pursing into a thin line to keep in your sobs but your attempts were futile, everything slowly starting to hit you at once until your body collapsed, one of the other servers catching you before you hit the ground.

It was all a blur from there, the words of comfort everyone offered turning into muffled noise as your cries of agony came out freely, the way Miyeon dragged you from the emergency exit at the back of the building and to her car to take you home, and even when you crawled into bed and managed to sleep despite the pounding headache. 7 years came and went and there was nothing to show for it. No soulmate, no boyfriend, no romance, not even a friendship. You were empty and for some reason the only thing filling your heart and mind was the person who broke you.

It felt like time stood still yet hours had passed, Hongjoong back in his own bedroom pressing away at his keyboard, stopping occasionally to write a few notes down from his new composition, but he wasn’t distracted enough to hear his door open, various footsteps entering and even a few bodies settling in on his bed, his eyes not bothering to leave his notebook as he figured this moment would come.

“You don’t need to lecture me.” He grumbled, going back to play a few more notes only to find his keyboard unplugged, Mingi tossing the cord away as his alpha stared him down.

“It’s only a lecture if you listen and learn, which you won’t, so we’re gonna make you feel as bad as possible for driving away the only person that gave a shit about you.” San said with a bright smile, a scoff leaving Hongjoong as he finally turned in his chair to face them, eyes scanning the room to see this situation wasn’t playful but truly hostile, almost like an ambush.

“So, you guys don’t care about me?”

“Trying to get you to accept your soulmate so you don’t die shows we care a lot more than we should.” Yeosang spoke, making himself comfortable as he sat against the pillow and headboard.

“But we’re the real assholes for trying to force her with someone as shitty as you.” Seonghwa finally said, Hongjoong’s head snapping in his direction as he let out a dry chuckle, shifting in his seat so he was leaning backwards, arms crossed as he told himself to stay calm during his friend’s potential tantrum.

“I feel like you have the most to say since you’ve been in love with my mate the longest, so go ahead, tell me how I’m such a bad man, Seonghwa. I’m all ears.” His smugness made the tension worse, Seonghwa stepping closer with clenched fist.

“I’m not in love with you mate, but if I didn’t know someone was waiting for me because we were fated to be together, maybe I would have asked (Y/n) out, because she deserves better than a lowlife with the brain function of a dead goldfish. But I respect her too much as your mate and my luna to not push those boundaries so I tried to help her get closer to you because I know you, Hongjoong. You’re not an asshole or a jerk, but to her? You treat her like shit, when really you’d have no one without her. You’re a short, scrawny, nerdy moron that locks himself in a dark room for days on end just to complete a single project, then emerge to eat cold pizza and watch Despicable Me because your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend anything that isn’t brightly colored animation. If you take away your alpha status, no girl would even look in your direction but you have someone literally at your side, the only human not afraid of you, trying to figure out everything there is to know about you, yet you can’t give her the time of day. You probably don’t even know a damn thing about her.”

“Unfortunately, I know more than enough about her.” Hongjoong spoke, all amusement gone as he glared at the older male, their mindlink clogged with threatening growls and barks, trying to keep their fight from getting physical.

That first sentence alone made Hongjoong’s blood boil, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and disgust. How could Seonghwa even say that to him, plotting to steal his mate all because he was a bit uncertain? That all it was, uncertainty! He didn’t hate you, or wish you weren’t around, he actually grew to anticipate and enjoy your ramblings about your day or whatever new thing caught your attention, he actually even loved the lunches that you’d make for him. He couldn’t help that over the years he grew to crave you more, but the thought of fully accepting you and solidifying that the best years of his life were about to be gone, restricted to one person forever before he could even determine for himself his likes and dislikes, what he considered real love rather than what fate wanted him to feel, was terrifying. So he distanced himself from you, spending the years watching you from afar in hopes that if he didn’t get too close he wouldn’t lose his free will completely.

But it was a bad habit that seeped into your college years, everyone assuming he cared so little for you when he knew everything there was to know. He knew where you worked before any of the boys did, where your apartment was, the fact you were a business major planning to open a bakery once you graduated, he knew you didn’t have classes on Fridays but always came back on campus because you prepared meals for the men’s and women’s wrestling team which is where Jongho first met you, he knew you hated mint chocolate chip ice cream just like him but loved chocolate ice cream with mint chips, he knew you were always cold but overheat at night and wake up at exactly 3am to change into shorts and a tank top to be more comfortable, he knew about the birthmark on your lower back and a scar on your hip from a cat scra-

“Holy shit, you’re insane.” Wooyoung breathed out, Hongjoong’s eyes focusing on the room in front of him, a mixture of shocked expressions and amused ones filling his vision.

“I liked it better when we thought you hated her but, hyung, you’ve been stalking her since your freshman year of high school?” Jongho asked cautiously.

It was a weird feeling bubbling inside Hongjoong, the primary one being embarrassment. He knew he’d sometimes unintentionally rant in their mindlink whenever he was upset but to make an almost decade long secret public to his pack, revealing the intimate details of how you slowly but surely ingrained yourself into not only his brain but his life until he felt like he was going crazy? It made him tear up, his face burn with a blush as he was finally forced to face the truth. He pushed you away but wanted you more than anything. He wanted to spend his years free to explore before finally settling down only to reject every girl that came close to him simply because they weren’t you, and he took that anger out on you. What was he so mad about? The fact you stood by his side with a smile happily accepting him while he tried and failed to lust after other women? Was he that pathetic? He could admit now that he was and, if he could turn back time, he would’ve introduced himself and walked you to class. Just the first step of fully accepting you.

“You’re still ranting in the mindlink, you know?” Seonghwa said softly, regaining the once again lost focus of his alpha who was too consumed in his own pity to notice the tension died down, their gazes soft as they tried to sympathize with their leader.

“Sorry. I wish none of you heard that stuff.” He admitted, sniffling as he realized he’d been crying, hand hurriedly wiping away tears from his cheeks.

“Well, it’s a good thing we did. We still think you’re a moron, but at least we know you’re feeling guilty about all of this.”

“Don’t worry, Joong, if you know (Y/n) like we do, she always sees the best in people, so she’ll forgive you. But you still have to apologize.” San followed up Mingi’s words, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong shoulders while giving a bright smile in response to his weak one.

“She’s my TA in Calc 3 and I have that class around noon tomorrow. She always stays after in case anyone has questions, so I can stall until you get there.” Yunho offered, Hongjoong feeling a slight warmth in his chest thinking about it all. He’d let go of his insecurities, fix everything he’s done wrong, and finally have you as his. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

And tomorrow did come, but you were nowhere to be found. When Hongjoong arrived to Yunho’s class, he was met with a sympathetic apology on the account that you didn’t show up that day, you weren’t even at any of your other classes. The boys even tried to find you at work only to be met with a mob of your pissed coworkers led by Miyeon, threatening to rip their heads off if she saw their faces again. And that lasted for nearly 3 days, Hongjoong’s hope slowly dwindling away until he noticed two figures sneakily meeting halfway at the school’s entrance to exchange a large white cooler.

He recognized those bulky arms anywhere, and the thick Aussie accent was a dead giveaway as well, especially when it was followed by a distinct giggle. There was no mistaking it was Chan, but he could barely see the person with him, their voice low as they spoke to him and face hidden beneath a hood, but the scent emitting from them was strong, and beautiful, his eyes widening as he finally took it all in. You looked different, wearing a dark grey matching sweat suit which was a complete 180 from your usual attire, and you smelled faintly of passionfruit, possibly a change to your normal shampoo in an attempt to disguise yourself, but that thought only made his heart hurt more. Were you intentionally avoiding him? He could understand you hating him now but you were even ignoring the others in his pack, going from friends to complete strangers in a matter of hours and leaving them all devastated. He was going to fix this, here and now, if not for him and you than for his friends.

“Jongho’s been pretty upset about you not responding to his text. It’d really help if you stopped by to at least let him know you’re okay.” Chan pleaded, giving you a dimpled smile and hopeful gaze that made it impossible for you to hide your blushing face and grin.

“I just need a little more time, Chris. It’s like if you broke up with your mate and all the friends you made through her left you too. Except it’s me being broken up with by someone who was never my boyfriend and his friends came to me instead of me going to them. But, still, it hurts all the same.” You laughed slightly, trying to find some humor in the situation.

“You’re the only person that still calls me Chris.” He commented, trying to redirect the conversation as you clearly weren’t fine, neither of you noticing the burning glare just a few meters away.

“I just think it fits you best.” You admitted, neither of you breaking eye contact until you gasped, staring down to the box of food and drinks you bought.

“You should hurry to practice. You need to eat beforehand otherwise you’ll be weak after warmups alone. And I worked hard making those sandwiches and cutting that fruit, if it goes bad because you stayed here to cheer me up, I’ll really be mad.” You tried to put on your best scowl, your scolding undermined by his amused laughter.

“Alright, fine. Just stay safe, please?” You nodded, waving as you watched him turn to head to the school’s gymnasium, missing the way Chan glared at Hongjoong as he continued forward. Chan and Hongjoong’s packs were close, family almost, so the news of what Hongjoong did and why reached them in no time, and Chan was hoping today things would be fixed soon because, apart from you being the wrestling team’s beloved personal chef, you were like a sister to him.

You wasted no time leaving the campus behind, ready to go back into the darkness of your bedroom to forget you existed. You really wish you could disappear, that the ground would split beneath you and swallow you whole, but you couldn’t just leave when your phone was filled with calls and messages from friends and coworkers wondering where you were and if you were fine. So many people cared, what kind of person would you be to leave them all alone like this, especially when all they wanted was to help you? But being alone helped, trying to live life as normal as possible while adjusting to a Hongjoong-free lifestyle helped. It would take some time, but you’d find your normal someday. All you had to do was avoid-

“(Y/n)!” Your body froze.

He rarely called you by your name but his voice was distinct on its own, and it was the most sickly sweet thing you’ve ever heard. You wanted to run, to never have him see you like this. Dear god, how did you even look right now? You felt like shit, you probably looked the part. Dammit, Hongjoong was right all along, you were shit. You were worse than shit, you were just pathetic. A pathetic, lovestruck loser itching to just turn and say hi, to have the conversation you always dreamed of but you knew that wouldn’t happen. He’ll yell at you again. He’ll-

“(Y/n)? H-hi…” Hongjoong said shyly, standing right in front of you as you shrank into yourself.

His brows furrowed as you looked away, mentally arguing with yourself as you went over the days of self-reflecting you did, trying to find some lesson from your solitude to aid in this situation and it was starting to scare him. You were never quiet with him, you always had something to say even if it wasn’t important but, luckily, he had something important to say and hopefully you’d listen.

“I- T-the other day…. I w-was…. I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, this confession a lot harder than he thought, especially now that you were facing him, eyes just as innocent as the day he met you, but he couldn’t run away this time.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly. Everyone told me I was an idiot and I think they’re right. I treated you like you were garbage for years, all because I didn’t want to be mated so young. I just wanted to date around before I finally settled down with someone and, m-maybe I could’ve just said that, so you didn’t have to wait around for me all these years but, I never hated you, and I can’t hate you. I know you won’t forgive me right away but I think it’s only fair that I can be a good mate to you now.”

He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the desperate ‘please’ he wanted to add as your pupils began to shake, almost as if you were a machine malfunctioning, none of your self-reflecting preparing you for this moment, the only thing coming to mind being some sad blog article you found during your second day of isolation. ‘Forgiving and forgetting too soon is dangerous. Find yourself’. It wasn’t what you wanted but maybe what you need, what he needed. So, without hesitation, you smiled brightly at him although it never reached your eyes, clearing your throat as you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Hongjoong, I can’t forgive you easily. I waited for you, I tried to make you accept me and it always ended up with me getting hurt. Honestly, if I just treated you like a regular crush, maybe we could’ve forgotten we’re meant to be together until after graduation or something.” You laughed awkwardly, wanting to look away as his eyes softened in the saddest way, but you needed to do this, eyes locked on his as you exhaled through your nose.

“I couldn’t be by your side all the time, so whether you dated anyone is still a mystery to me but, I’ve been alone for seven years hoping you’d come around, and I think it’s time I take those years back. I’m not sure if what you said counted as a rejection or if we’re still mates but, if we are, we’ll come back to each other eventually. For now, I just need some time.”

You managed to walk past him without completely collapsing in tears, speed walking back to your apartment as you tried to swallow sobs, not even taking in the way Hongjoong stumbled to follow you, almost like a zombie as he attempted to plead for you to reconsider, to force himself to accept your decision but ask how long you needed, but he couldn’t do that. He tried to picture himself in your shoes, seven years of pining only to be publicly humiliated by the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He couldn’t blame you for not forgiving him, and he sure as hell couldn’t force you, so he let you go, trudging in the opposite direction to his two story apartment just to hide in his bedroom until he didn’t feel like dying anymore.

But as more days passed and it only got harder for Hongjoong. He barely left his room but also never slept, every song he created was played in minor scales to fit his now melancholy life. The charisma he typically exuded was hidden with puffy red eyes from crying and a yellow knit sweater a few sizes too large for his body but it was the only thing that comforted him at this point, especially when knowing you had reconnected with everyone but him.

After exactly one week of distancing yourself from the world, you caved and meet with the boys individually (sans Hongjoong), apologizing for needing space although they completely understood, but the way each interaction ended made your guts churn with guilt. ‘Stay safe, luna’, that’s how all of them addressed you before they left, leaving you filled with the desire to return to how things were before. You missed your friends and, the fact your mate was finally ready to claim you, only made you want to forgive Hongjoong sooner. But you needed to be your own person for once. You had seven years worth of relationships to catch up on and you wouldn’t let them keep you from that.

Except when they did.

You should’ve known it was risky letting them know you had a date so soon, just some other human on campus that had yet found his soulmate. They sounded happy for you, Wooyoung going so far to ask where you met and where your date would be and what time, giving suggestions on what to say and wear since it was “your first”. It was a sweet gesture, and you thought nothing of it, but that information meant everything to him which led to now, the boys huddled together in their living room with a slightly paler and sickly looking Hongjoong curled into the corner of their loveseat.

“So they’re going bowling tonight at 8:30? We could ask her about it tomorrow in case she’s into him because hyung isn’t looking too great.” Yeosang commented, everyone looking to Hongjoong as he managed to drown his entire body within the sweater, only his head visible as he stared ahead like some lost puppy.

“He’s just weak from not being around her for so long, but their bond is still there so he’s fine. But we have nothing to worry about. She won’t fall in love with him so don’t get too involved, she’ll just stop talking to us again if we meddle too much.” Seonghwa warned, a chorus of ‘Okays’ confirming their dismissal as they all stood to retreat to their bedrooms.

“Wait, who is she going out with anyways? There’s only 10 other humans at that school.” Mingi’s question cause everyone to freeze, the silence in the room contrasting with the faint answer Woooyung gave in their mindlink, Hongjoong turning to look at him with hurt and pain.

“Why didn’t you say it was Yugyeom?!”

“I did! Just not to you, until now because I forgot to tune you out.” He said shyly, flinching as Hongjoong ran past him and right out their front door, none of them sure of what to do at that point.

It was such a minor yet major detail. Kim Yugyeom was admittedly the most wanted person any of them could think of. Human girls wanted him, werewolf girls wanted him, most guys couldn’t help but stare whenever he passed by. He was gorgeous with eyes that sparkled every time he smiled. He spoke about his soulmate with so much passion despite never meeting her, following his words with how he’d treat any girl before her with the same love and care. It was a pick up line meant to hook any hopelessly romantic girl in, the sweetest way to say their relationship wouldn’t last. But this was Kim Yugyeom, they knew it was only meant with good intentions, not wanting to string someone along with the false hope they’d be together forever. And that’s exactly what you needed. To explore while knowing you’d always come back to Hongjoong. But that’s not what Hongjoong wanted. He didn’t want you dating anyone else, finding temporary happiness when he was supposed to give you a lifetime of it. And humans were more flexible with their soulmates, they had the privilege to move one without the pain or withdrawals of losing their mate. Werewolves just died if they were rejected, heartbreak and loneliness consuming them, so there was no telling how your heart would react to someone exactly like you. Maybe you’ll fall in love with him. Maybe he’ll abandon his soulmate for you once he learns how amazing you are. Maybe Hongjoong would die from lack of food and sleep before he even reached your apartment, which he was still sprinting full speed towards. It was only 7:30pm, meaning he had an hour before you and Yugyeom went out, but he didn’t have a plan. He had no idea what he was doing, but he needed to stop you before you found yourself in love with someone else.

It was like some scene in a drama, Hongjoong’s chest heaving as he finally came to a stop just outside your apartment. His body felt like giving out as he climbed the two flights of stairs to your door, only to find you waving shyly to Yugyeom just as he turned away, trying not to lock eyes with Hongjoong but Hongjoong’s eyes were only trained on you, yours finding his as a panicked look crossed your face. Should you look away? Go back inside? What was he even doing there? You never told the boys your address… You gasped as he approached you, swallowing hard as you tried to remain calm, but how could you stay calm when you finally got a good look at him?

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask, stepping further from your door to examine him, reaching for his face only to stumble back to your original position. You were making great progress, you can’t do that now.

“I’ve been better, but even then I wasn’t fine.” He said with a dry chuckle, your lips curling into a fake smile to not show how much his appearance affected you. He looked like he was on the brink of death. You knew wolves would get sick without their mates, but was it really killing him? Were you killing him?

“Joongi-Uhm, Hongjoong, how about you sit down? You look like you’re going to faint.” You offered, stepping back to allow him inside, watching him stumble past you and straight to your sofa as if he owned the place.

It was such an awkward moment for you, watching the poor boy curl into himself as his sweater practically became his body, a sigh leaving your lips as you shut your door. Instead of healing yourself, you had to heal him. It was oddly pitiful but your instincts screamed at you to do it.

Hongjoong shut his eyes as he eased into your sofa, feeling more comfortable than he was in his own home, even more so with your scent invading his senses, your body warmth radiating onto his as you carefully took a seat, trying to figure out what to do.

“Do you need food, or water? Or a doctor?” You asked, the giggle he let out this time weak but still enough to make your heart beat a bit faster.

“I just need you near me.” He admitted.

You let out a squeak as he shamelessly fell into your lap, head comfortably resting against your thighs as he laid face up. You couldn’t stop your hand from easing through his unnaturally colored locks, melting at how soft they were, bottom lip trapped under your teeth as you had to fight off the desire to cup his face. You’ve never gotten this close to him and he wasn’t telling you to go away, instead letting out content purrs as he nuzzled closer to you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Why couldn’t he just want you from the start? You’d would’ve been able to hold him like this all the time, to see him happy and healthy rather than a shell of his former self. But he didn’t want you, and now he was at your apartment just to keep himself from dying. It was silly to think he cared about you as much as he did himself.

“Of course you do.” You whispered, laughing bitterly as your hand left his hair, moving to his arm to ease him back up into a sitting position.

You couldn’t get past him no matter how hard you tried, nor did you want to, but every word he said, everything he’s done, followed you like a ghost haunting some poor unsuspecting soul. Why did you have to love someone who didn’t love you the same? Why was this your life?

“Can you just hold me a little longer? P-please?” He asked with a cute whine to his voice.

You sighed and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back into his previous position, fingers massaging his scalp as he finally opened his eyes to look at you. You were beautiful, even with the frown lines etched into your face. He wonder how long they’ve been there, especially when he’s only seen you smiling. Maybe you spent your alone time more upset than he thought. Where you upset before he came? You couldn’t be when Yugyeom was here, no one could be upset with him around. Except Hongjoong. He felt a grudge building inside him just from the mere thought of him with you. He felt like interrogating you on what he was doing here in the first place and why you gave your address out to just anyone, but it wasn’t his place to ask and probably wouldn’t be for a while, but jealousy and rage was all he felt so any reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.

“I don’t want you to see Yugyeom anymore.” He said definitely, your eyes widened as you stared at him incredulously, an amused giggle leaving your lips.

“That’s not for you to choose, Hongjoong. I told you I need time-“

“Those seven years you’ve been waiting I couldn’t be with anyone else. I always compared every girl I met to you and none of them came close to being as perfect, now I have to watch you date some dance major with pretty eyes because I was an insecure dumbass? He has a soulmate, and he’s always going to choose them no matter how much you like each other, so why not save your feelings? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, but just don’t fall in love with anyone else.”

You tried so hard to hide your smile. This wasn’t something you typically liked, possessive guys being on the list of things you found annoying, but considering it was Hongjoong, his soft eyes hard and sharp as their hue seemed to go pitch black as his words were both sweet and demanding, made you fall in love just a little more than you already were. You wanted to take this as his confession, as a truce in your previous one-sided enemyship, to tell him that you told Yugyeom you couldn’t go out with him because you could only see yourself with Hongjoong, but you needed time. Not time to date and explore the way you thought he had, but to watch him work as hard as you did to prove he was ready and willing to love you. It was a little malicious, sure, but it was all in good fun. He’d always be your mate after all.

“I don’t know, Hongjoong, you really hurt me…”

“It hurt knowing I wasn’t with you.” Your smile cracked through, causing his own to appear, your game already over.

“And how do you think I felt? You think you can make up seven years worth of waiting so easily?”

You squealed as he shot up, magically seeming more alive than when he arrived, eyes full of life and his lips and cheeks the same rosy color as when you met him, hands warm and soft as he cupped your face.

“Good thing I have forever to do it.”

The silence was comfortable but unbearable, especially as he hesitated to lean closer, your lips puckering to guide him but he didn’t seem to be catching on and, when he did, you shifted back, laughing awkwardly as you stared at one another, both of you taking a deep breath as you finally closed the gap between you, a weird electric sensation you could only dream of as your lips slowly grew accustom to one another, moving so slow yet feeling so urgent. It was all still new to the both of you, romance and dating only now becoming part of your lives, but it was exciting knowing that you had years ahead of you to perfect it, your entire lives dedicated to loving one another. And it only took a seven year crush to get you here.

#ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #kim hongjoong imagines #ateez au #kim hongjoong au #ateez werewolf au #ateez soulmate au #kim hongjoong scenarios #kim hongjoong reactions #kim hongjoong fluff #kim hongjoong angst #kim hongjoong werewolf au #kim hongjoong soulmate au #kim hongjoong fanfic #ateez fanfic #im-whatchamccallit

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abbysfrenchbraid · 4 years ago

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Beach Day Imagine

alright I give up on trying to find a header for this one, there are no nice pictures of Abby with short hair.

anonymous said: I have a request for a beach day imagine? It could be after the end of the game, just a nice day on the beach heh :)!

This is set after the end of tlou2, Abby and Lev have arrived at the Firefly base on Catalina Island and the reader has gotten to know them over the last weeks. Today they’re taking the two newly healed outsiders to the beach.

This is the first thing I’ve written in a while so I apologize if I’m not fully back in my best form, feedback is very welcome!

Warnings: light swearing, pushing someone under water playfully, mention of injury by being crushed under something heavy (ask to tag!)

about 5.6k words of pure fluff :)

“Hey, look what I got!”

You looked up from the gas canister you were currently using to fill up a truck’s tank and felt a warm rush of happiness fill your chest. Lev had just entered the garage and was holding out a red backpack.

“The teacher gave it to me so I finally have my own. And it’s even my favorite color!”

You stopped pouring the gasoline and screwed the lid back on the canister.

“Hey, you. So what are you bringing in your new backpack, then?”

The scrawny boy jumped on the back of the truck and crouched down, flipping the bag over and dumping its contents on the platform. With quick fingers, he arranged all the items to lie in a neat line, tapping them as he listed: “Water bottle, sandwich, apple, lighter, knife, towel, swimming trunks. Abby said not to take the bow because it’s a secure area.”

You nodded. “Good job, you’re fully equipped.” Catalina Island was a completely safe zone, the Fireflies had made sure of that. During the last few years, patrol teams had combed through the entire island killing infected and now anyone coming in from the mainland had to spend two days in quarantine to ensure their health. Carrying around a knife or gun at all times was just a habit none of the people who had ever fought infected or other groups would ever let go of.

“Lev? You in here?” Lev had been concentrating on putting all his supplies back into the backpack and you both jerked up when you heard the familiar voice in the corridor. It had been weeks and she still had the same effect on you. The tall blonde stepped through the doorway and your breath caught in your throat. She was wearing green cargo pants and black combat boots as always, but you could see the blue fabric of a swimsuit peeking out at the neckline of her grey t-shirt.

“Oh hey, there you are. Are we ready to go?”

“Your hair!” you exclaimed, in awe at the beautiful freckled face that was looking at you with excitement. Abby smiled and instinctively rubbed the back of her head that was now cut short. When she and Lev had arrived three weeks ago, they had looked horrible, dehydrated and full of bruises and cuts, their faces marked by the sun and the pain they had had to endure. Abby hadn’t said a word about her obviously violently cut hair but Lev had told you that she had always worn it in a long braid before the rattlers captured them. You tried to imagine her with long hair but it just didn’t seem fitting for the woman standing before you.

“I got it done today, Mario is a saint. Do you like it?”

Lev squinted at her for a moment, then he solemnly said: “It suits you very well.”

She had apparently finally gotten around to visiting your colleague, another mechanic who also worked at a barber on the side. Most men and some women just pragmatically shaved their heads themselves, but there were always a few people who wanted something more complicated. When Mario had visited you at the medical station after your accident and gotten to know your two new roommates, he had immediately offered his services if they ever wanted a haircut. Lev had declined, explaining that he always shaved his head himself, but Abby had thanked him and promised to come around when she was allowed to leave medical.

You smiled at her and before you could stop yourself you blurted out “You look hot.”

The blonde laughed and even though you felt yourself blushing, you knew you had said the right thing. She really did look hot. Mario had shaved her sides short and fluffed up the top, letting a few strands fall into her face. You wanted to reach out and gently brush them back, but you stopped yourself and snapped out of your daydream.

“Okay, my bag’s already in the front. You all set?”

Abby nodded and put her backpack on the back of the truck, positioning herself to jump on.

“Wait, can I sit in the back? I’ll be careful, I promise. I’d just really like to see what it feels like,” Lev pleaded. You looked at Abby who just rolled her eyes and grinned.

“Alright, kid. But no standing up, and if it gets bumpy you hold on tight!”

She squeezed the boy’s shoulder and grabbed her bag, circling around the back of the car to get into the passenger seat. Lev gracefully jumped in the back and closed the hatch, looking at you with a glint in his eye you had never seen on him before. For the first time since the two had arrived here, he seemed genuinely happy and excited.

You sat down in the driver’s seat and started the truck, maneuvering out of the parked cars around you and giving the porter a signal to open the garage door. Your hand still felt weak and fragile as you switched gears and drove through the two front gates or the base, absentmindedly clenching your fist and stretching out your fingers to get rid of the sensation.

In the corner of your eye, you could see Abby giving you a slightly worried look.

“You okay there? I can drive, too, if you want me to.”

You bit your lip in frustration and shook your head.

“Thanks, Abby. I just need to get used to using this stupid hand again.”

The blonde rolled down her window and let in the salty breeze, leaning her head against the frame and closing her eyes as the sun kissed her face.

“Alright. Just let me know.”

Turning onto the road down to the beach, you sighed and tried to let go of all of your anger and discontent with one long exhale. It would get you nowhere.

You had been lying underneath a car to fix some spots that had rusted through when your lifting jacks had made a weird noise. Even though you had been quick to try and slip out from under the car, you hadn’t been fast enough. The wheels had been taken off to change the tires and as the jacks collapsed, the side of the vehicle crushed your arm, your ribs and left you with internal bleeding.

It had been no one's fault, just a terrible misfortune. After undergoing several surgeries and spending four weeks in a hospital bed, two battered strangers had been carried in and kept you company for the next few days.

The WLF soldier also had a few broken ribs, several cuts and stab wounds. Other than a few bruises, dehydration and the extreme sunburn they had both suffered, the small Seraphite was surprisingly well off, and while you two older women had been laying around in your own misery, he had started trying to cheer you up, help your recovery and motivate you to look forward to the days to come.

Both of you had started carefully training your injured limbs again and encouraged each other on the tiresome, difficult journey back to health while Lev had explored the base, made some friends and working with a trainer to teach others how to shoot with a bow and arrow. Now that you were finally out of the medical wing and able to move without being in excruciating pain, you had decided to take the two out for a deserved day off.

You rolled your window down and inhaled the fresh sea breeze, immediately smelling the salt and hot sand, the earthy aroma of the bushes lining the road and the sun warming up the air and promising you a wonderful day. Without thinking, you let out a scream of joy and laughed into the wind that pulled on your hair and invited you to play. You turned to beam at Abby, who looked amused and a little surprised. Before you could say anything, you heard an attempted wolf howl from the back of the truck and looked in the rearview mirror. Lev was kneeling in the middle of the platform, his head thrown back and his hands at his mouth to amplify his cries. He took a big breath and howled a second time, laughing afterward and stretching out his arms to the side.

A small noise drew your attention back to your passenger. Abby was looking out of the window and her torso was shaking slightly. For a split second, you thought she was crying, but then her little chuckle grew into loud laughter and she whooped, also stretching out her arm and making wave motions with her hand.

“Jesus, Y/N, you’re amazing! This is amazing!”

She looked at you, eyes wide with excitement and a grin stretching across her entire face. You felt like your heart was going to explode. This really was amazing. You took another turn and there it was: the sea. Blue and wild, sparkling like millions of diamonds and dancing in the sun, calling out for you and inviting you to jump into the waves and join the celebration.

You decided to just drive down all the way onto the sand; the truck was made for the terrain and there was no reason to walk if you could just drive up to the perfect spot.

“Lev,” you yelled, “wanna choose a good spot?”

“Yes,” he screamed back, “over there by the palm tree?”

“Got it, boss!” You geared down and drove onto the sand, carefully testing the terrain. The car seemed to have no problem with the ground and you pressed down the gas, whirling up the sand behind you and making Lev scream with excitement. You came to a halt next to a sturdy palm tree and the boy had jumped off the back before you had stopped the engine.

He had taken off his shoes and immediately started hopping to the patch of shade, cursing about the hot sand and letting himself fall onto the cool safe haven provided by the tree. Abby laughed and got out herself, opening her backpack and throwing him a big blanket.

“Here, make yourself useful.”

Lev jumped up and started stretching out the fabric to make room for everyone, then he unpacked his towel and swimming trunks. You grabbed your bag and went over to the two of them, putting your towel down and stopping in your tracks when Abby suddenly pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a sporty blue bikini top. Her abs had practically exploded in only a week; the last time you had seen her stomach had been when she had gotten rid of the hospital gown and announced she was going back to training. Her skin was ivory, a ton of freckles spreading over her shoulders and arms. There were still a few bruises on her ribcage, already yellow and almost completely faded, and her upper arm was marked with a fresh, pink scar.

“What are you staring at? Don’t you wanna go swimming with us?”

Abby laughed at you and hopped around as she tried to take off her tight pants without falling over. You shook your head to get your brain running again and side-eyed her, trying to hide a grin.

“Sorry. You’ve already built so much muscle, it’s amazing.”

The blonde looked down and lightly slapped her stomach.

“Thanks, must be the food here. I’m getting back on track.”

You had already slid out of your pants and quickly took off your shirt now, a little shy about your black bathing suit. But there was no need to worry, now it was Abby’s turn to stare. Her mouth was slightly ajar as she looked you up and down, her hand hovering about her abs as if she had frozen for a second. Finally, she snapped out of her admiration and raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, without the bandages and all.”

While you two had been busy drooling over each other, Lev had already changed into his swimming trunks and now seemed to be calculating how many steps it would take to get to the water and cool his burnt feet.

Abby stepped closer to you.

“You ready, Lev? Bet I can beat you both to the water.”

The boy didn’t hesitate one second. He started like lightning, his red pants blown up by the wind as he yelled “ouch, fuck, ow,” trying to lengthen his jumps. Abby winked at you, then she started sprinting after him.

“Come on, Y/N!”

You quickly took off your socks and ran after them, loosening your ponytail and enjoying the feeling of the warm, soft hair dancing on your skin. Lev had beat Abby and was squealing as he jumped into the waves. The ex-WLF reached him a few seconds later, running into the sea and immediately diving under just to come up again with a scream of joy. She opened her arms as you came running towards her, cursing the hot sand and ready to tackle the blonde with full force.

She turned to the side and dodged your blow at the last second, letting you crash into the waves and jumping on top of you, pushing you under the surface for a second before pulling you up and blowing a mouthful of water into your face. You gasped for air as the two laughed at you, already plotting your revenge.

You slapped Abby’s shoulder but her rock-hard muscles easily took the hit. She raised her eyebrows at you and gave your shoulder a seemingly light push that made you topple back into the water. How was she so fucking strong?! You let yourself float on your back for a second, then you dove under and grabbed the surprised soldier by the ankles, digging your fingernails into her skin and pulling her feet out from under her. Pushing off the sand with your feet, you dragged her legs with you so she was pulled underwater. She managed to free herself and you both came up at the same time, laughing and coughing.

“That’s what you get, shark,” you grinned at her.

“Wait, are there sharks here?” A half-panicky, half-excited voice from further out told you that Lev had swum quite a bit and was now suddenly overcome by the realization that you three weren’t the only ones in the sea.

“Yeah, big ones,” Abby yelled, “you better watch out.”

She winked at you, then she took a deep breath and dove in Lev’s direction, who was facing the opposite direction and didn’t notice the big figure swimming towards him. As expected, he suddenly shrieked, started flailing his arms and fought with something that was pulling him under. When he realized what was going on, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he yelled Abby’s name over and over, trying to get her off. Her head broke the surface next to him and she shook her head, water spraying in all directions as her hair danced in the sun.

She was roaring with laughter and held out an arm for Lev to hold on to while he caught his breath.

“Believe me, kid, as much as you love them, you don’t wanna meet sharks face to face.”

He sighed and turned to look at the open water.

“I know. Maybe we can drive out with a boat sometime and try to see them.”

Abby rubbed his shaved head.

“You are unbelievably okay with danger, young man.”

He smiled at her with so much love and admiration in his eyes it made your heart feel like it was going to explode. These two had found each other. You slowly swam towards them and turned on your back again to float, Lev immediately copying you and looking at Abby to do the same.

“We shouldn’t be in the sun for too long, you two are still not fully healed.”

Abby groaned and splashed some water in your direction.

“Let me just have this for a moment, please.”

You felt a twist in your stomach. She had just been having fun for the first time in forever and you had to ruin it by reminding her of what she had been through. Why couldn’t you just shut up and let her be? You turned to look at her and were surprised to see her smiling at you, nothing but warmth and appreciation in her face.

“You’re right, Y/N, I know that. Thank you for taking us here and worrying about us.”

Lev had his eyes closed, but he nodded and mumbled something in approval.

“Come on.” Abby lightly tapped your arm and nodded in the direction of the beach.

“Let’s head back.”

“Can I stay here a little longer?” Lev sounded far away, completely at peace as he soaked up the sun and the salty air.

“Of course, but make sure you don’t swim further out, okay?”

The boy just hummed happily. Both of you didn’t say a word as you and Abby swam back, your mind spinning faster again as she took her last steps out of the water in front of you. Droplets were running down the back of her neck, the curves of her back muscles, butt, and thighs highlighted by the reflections of sunlight on the wet skin.

She turned around and absentmindedly slicked her dripping hair back, showing off her biceps and abs as she stretched and waited for you to come out of the water.

“You think the sand is gonna be less painful under wet feet?”

You stumbled out of the waves with little elegance but managed to stay standing up as a wave crashed around your calves.

“I don’t know, I think we should make a run for it.”

“Fair,” she nodded and held out her hand. “You ready?”

Ignoring the jump in your chest, you took her hand and she held yours tight, encasing it completely with her cool fingers.

“Let’s go!” Both of you started running, squealing and laughing as the sand burned your soles once more. You almost fell several times but Abby’s steel grip caught and held you up every time. Slightly out of breath, both of you reached the shade of the palm tree and let yourselves fall on the towels. Abby still hadn’t let go of your hand and you tried to hold your fingers completely still so she wouldn’t notice and let go.

You were both lying on your backs next to each other, panting and looking up at the green branches above you dancing gently in the sea breeze. Watching Abby out of the corner of your eye, you promised yourself you would always remember this moment. The heat of the sun peeking through the branches, the last drops of saltwater running down your torso, the stickiness of your skin as it dried and left behind tiny salt crystals, the rushing of the waves and the cries of the seagulls. The beautiful blonde next to you, her chest moving with every breath, the little specks of sunlight on her face and her mouth, slightly open as she looked at the sky, deep in thought.

It felt like this was the first day of your life, like you had been somewhere else every day before, somewhere grey and bitter and hard with little joy and too many worries. You never knew life could feel like this, like riding a wave, like soaring through the summer air, easy laughter, and warm touches. You were free.

You suddenly noticed that Abby had turned her head to face you, her eyes burning into your skin like the salt that was prickling your cheek with tiny needles. Holding your breath, you slowly turned towards her and were immediately pulled in by her gaze.

This woman had been by your side almost constantly for three weeks and you had known for a while. What you felt for her was deeper than any connection you had ever had with anyone. She understood you without words and she was never too much for you, as others often were. The blonde made your heart skip beats and your brain often stopped working when she was around, but you still wanted to be by her side every possible second. Through all the pain and trauma and all the terrible things that had happened, you two always found something to laugh about and a way to forget everything for a while, just enjoying each other’s company.

As you finally released the air from your lungs, you could hear the shakiness in your breath and the rush of your own blood in your ears. It was so loud that you were sure Abby could hear it, too. Your fingers twitched slightly and she immediately tightened her fingers around yours. Slowly, her eyes wandered to your lips and now it was you that could hear her breath catch up in her throat. The distance between your faces was small, maybe a hand’s width, but it felt like miles. It was the feeling before doing a handstand or jumping off a high platform, a move you had seen others do countless times but felt impossible to you, like an invisible wall in your chest stopping your breath and movement at the same time.

Abby softly ran her thumb over yours, her hazel-green eyes piercing yours. Your racing thoughts came to a halt. You could count every freckle on her face, every tiny salt crystal on her lashes, the faded scars from past battles. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

Just as she lifted her head ever so slightly to move even closer, there were distant thumps on the sand and you could hear Lev crying out in a mix of joy and pain. You expected Abby to snap back and let go of your hand, but instead she just smiled, sat up and yelled: “Come here, quickly! You don’t want me to have roasted children’s feet for dinner, do you?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Lev speeding up towards you.

“I’m not a child, Abby!”

He came to a halt in front of Abby, quickly glancing at your intertwined fingers before frowning at her. She patted the towel next to her.

“Alright then, sir. Come sit with us, we’re currently being hypnotized by the palm branches.”

“What’s hypnotized?” he asked as he let himself flop on the towel.

“Lay down and you’ll see,” Abby said as she lifted her free arm and rested her head on her hand, staring up at the sky again.

“It’s the feeling of watching something - or someone - and completely getting lost in what you see. Your head gets all quiet and you’re willing to do anything the person hypnotizing you says.”

Her thumb was drawing circles on the back of your hand.

Lev let out a big breath as he solemnly folded his hands over his stomach and looked up at the leaves waving back and forth.

You all lay there for a while, not speaking, just soaking in each other’s presence and the untainted beauty of the world in this very moment. Abby’s touch sent electrical waves through your arm right into your heart, filling your chest with liquid gold and having you fight down an ecstatic squeal of happiness. Did this mean she actually felt the same way?

In the midst of all the joy you felt in that moment, there was a tiny voice in your head telling you that this was just an exceptional situation and things would go back to the way they were once you returned. Abby liked you, that much you were sure of, but was she really willing to go a step further and open up to you like that? Trust someone with that kind of vulnerability?

You swallowed hard, trying to fight down the tiny storm of panic brewing in your throat. There was absolutely no reason to ruin this moment for yourself. You let go of Abby’s hand to prop yourself up on your elbow, turning your body towards her.

There was confusion in her eyes and a slightly worried look.

“Everything okay?” she whispered.

Looking up over her shoulder, you saw that Lev had fallen asleep. He looked like a little vampire, pale from the lack of sunlight on his newly recovered skin over the last weeks, lying stone still in a perfectly straight line with his hands still folded.

You lay back down just a little bit closer to Abby than before, this time facing her completely. You could feel her breath on your lips and couldn’t stop yourself from raising a hand to push a strand of hair out of her face. She closed her eyes for a second at your touch, then she leaned into your hand. You cupped her cheek, drawing your thumb over her cheek and her bottom lip.

“More than okay,” you breathed as you ran your fingers through her hair and down the back of her neck, making her shiver despite the heat.

Slowly this time, you sat up and whispered “Come with me.”

Both of you stood up and now it was you that held out a hand. The Firefly took it and you both hurried towards the water again, trying not to be too loud and wake up the boy in your care.

Finally on wet sand, you sat down and pulled Abby down with you as the water lapped at your ankles.

You took a deep breath, glancing at the blonde’s questioning look and quickly looking down at your feet.

“I’m so glad we finally got out of the base and came out here. You guys haven’t even seen all the beautiful places on Catalina. We could do this more often, I know my way around the Island.”

Abby drew circles in the sand, the tracks of her fingers immediately washed away by every new wave. Squinting against the sun, she softly said: “Yes, I’d like that. It really is beautiful here.”

Your heart was pounding again. What were you thinking, taking her away alone without even knowing what to say? She was obviously waiting for you to tell her something Lev shouldn’t hear. You wanted so badly just to tell her how you felt, but your head was just completely devoid of words.

She had mercy with you. “Where else would you like to take me?”

Her? Alone? You bit your lip, trying frantically to come up with something good.

“There is a bay called Little Harbor, the water is bright turquoise and it’s on the west coast, so you get some amazing sunsets there. There’s a hunting cabin there, too, back from when we hadn’t fully secured the island yet. I could get a friend in admin to give us a check-up mission, let us check the electricity and stock up the hut. Only if you’d want to, of course.”

Abby nodded. “That sounds amazing. I’m cleared for missions starting next Monday, I need to start doing my part anyways. We could go whenever it fits your schedule.”

You smiled at her. “Great. I’ll let my friend know.”

“Are we going to stay there overnight, then?”

You could hear the amusement in her voice. She knew she was making you all flustered and nervous and was just teasing you now so you elbowed her, stifling a laugh.

“It could be arranged.”

She placed her hand on your knee, looking at you to catch your reaction. You couldn’t help but blush and pressed your lips together, trying to hold it together.

“Y/N.”

Her face was now directly next to yours, her breath warm on your cheek again. It took everything in your power to turn your head and look her directly in the eye. Well, you tried to, but her eyes were on your lips again, her tongue quickly running over her bottom lip only to disappear again.

And finally, after weeks of uncertainty, of pining and yearning and trying to get her out of your head, she grabbed the back of your neck and gently pulled you in. Her lips were incredibly soft, cushioning your movement as you pressed your mouth on hers, desperately trying to stay in this moment forever. She tasted like the sea, but her warm skin still smelled like the forest. It always did.

You leaned into her, deepening the kiss as she put her arm around your shoulders and ran her hand over your thigh. Nothing had ever felt better than this.

The blonde pulled away slightly, peeking at you through long eyelashes and licking her lips again.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time,” she confessed, never releasing your gaze.

“Me too,” was all you got out under your shaky breath before she kissed you again, sweet and smiling, placing tiny kisses on your cheeks and jawline before moving up to graze her lips over your nose and forehead.

“I’m so lucky,” she mumbled against your temple. “After everything Lev and I have been through and of all the places in the world…”

She wasn’t the type to speak much about her feelings and this was probably the most you would get from her for now, but it was more than enough for you to understand. You rested your head on her shoulder as you both stared out to the open water.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before.” It felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You knew this was a lot to reveal, but you trusted Abby to not get scared away easily.

“You know, Lev is going to be so relieved.” Abby snorted and turned around to see if there was any movement in your little camp, but the little Seraphite seemed to still be enjoying his afternoon nap.

Your brows almost hit your hairline. “You’re gonna tell him right away?”

She laughed and slapped your thigh before tightening her grip around it.

“Sure, he’s been listening to me debating my next step for the last week. He was so excited for today because he thought you’d make a move.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“He has zero faith in me, you know. He knows I easily face any kind of danger and I always win my fights, but he thought I didn’t have the guts to kiss you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, Miss Warrior, you’re the toughest. I remember Lev telling me something about crane bridges?”

She acted shocked. “I trust him with all my secrets and he just goes and tells you about them? What a little brat.”

You both had to laugh; it was clear that no one loved Lev more than Abby and no one could ever really be angry with him.

“No seriously, I tell him everything. He’s all I got left.” She looked down and smiled to herself, no bitterness or sadness in her voice but a deep appreciation and nothing but love for her partner through thick and thin.

Her last sentence stung a little, but you knew it was going to be a while before Abby would know just how much she could count on you to be there for her. Trust had to be earned.

You spent the rest of your day in the shade with Lev, eating the fruit you had brought, playing cards, reading, and stealing kisses while the boy went for another swim in the ocean. Lev was sad you couldn’t light a bonfire as it got dark, but you had to get back in time for dinner.

Both you and Abby promised him another beach day with stick bread at the campfire as soon as you both found the time again. Meanwhile, he could try to find some friends to come along.

As you packed up your things, the sun was setting behind the green hills of the island and painting the sky pink, orange and purple, delivering a spectacle almost as wonderful as the one going on inside you.

Lev jumped on the back of the truck without asking this time and both of you got in the front. The drive was quiet, all of you deep in thought, reminiscing about the day you had had.

“Thanks again for doing this,” Abby said, playing with a strand of your hair. The windows were rolled down and the cool evening air was dancing through the cabin, filling your lungs and clearing your mind.

“You’re very welcome.”

“I can’t wait for our cabin trip. A sunset just for the two of us,” she remarked, looking at you from the side.

Finally back on the main road, you placed your hand on her thigh. You had wanted this for so long and now you would do everything in your power to win Abby’s heart entirely.

“When do I see you again?” you asked, scared to hear the answer.

“Tomorrow morning? You could pick me up from the gym for breakfast if you want. I’d offer to train with you but I think your doctors would feed me to the sharks.”

You laughed at the thought; it had taken forever to convince the medical staff to let you go today. It was going to be a few more weeks of physiotherapy to get your body back on track.

“Okay. I’m pretty sure they’re making pancakes tomorrow. A commander’s birthday, I think. Pick you up at 8?”

She placed her hand on top of yours and squeezed it.

“I’ll be waiting.”

#abby anderson #abby anderson fic #abby tlou #abby tlou2 #abby fluff #abby anderson fanfiction #tlou2 fanfiction #tlou2 #lev tlou2 #catalina island #abby anderson x reader

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whumpeeblog · 4 years ago

Text

TW: Slavery, Torture Mention, Death Mention, Pain, etc.

K, away on a decently long journey with A, chose to let N look after his estate and slaves for a period.

S shivered in her cell, sore from a recent beating. The vase had crashed with a menacing promise of punishment. But it had been an accident. Not only had the whip sliced her back, but the blades of knives and the threatening chokes of torture had harmed her feeble body. Weakened from the pain, S’s brain played pranks of mirages and lethargic daydreams.

Footsteps outside her cell. No. Please no. She had been certain that K was on a journey and she just wanted to be left to suffer alone. Perhaps it was a trick and now he would torture her again. Jingling keys toyed with the brass lock, and flickering light, too bright compared to the heavy darkness, crept into the cell.

K had instructed N, a close friend and distant relative, as to what each individual slave and prisoner would get for meals and work, as well as for torture. Burning hatred of cruelty towards any living creature stabbed at his heart. K had demanded the torture and work of the wretch in this cell, however, and he had to follow orders.

K had assumed S was too mangled to be recognized, and she knew the rules of speaking out of turn. N would never know it was her. He hadn’t seen her in nearly three years, and her rebellious spirit ran much more wild then.

Soft light dripped onto the figure shaking like a leaf in the corner of her cell. She was unrecognizable to him, just another slave. K had destroyed her, breaking her into something she was never meant to be.

N stepped into the cell, keys ringing in his fingers and a lit torch in the other. He set the flaming stick into a holder in the wall, then took another step. With each thump of his leather boots against the floor, the pain filled whimpers and sobs of the captive grew more desperate.

N crouched closer, and the girl sunk herself further into the wall, gritting her teeth to keep from crying out in pain.

Hardly a face, covered in bruises and crimson gashes, hung towards the floor. A mangled, broken body melted its way into the stone walls behind it. Muffled wails quietly rung in the dungeon.

N knelt towards the girl, preparing to lift her off of the floor. As his lean figure came nearer, S’s whimpers became more and more horrified.

S’s heart ached to scream for mercy, but there were punishments for that. She remained as silent as possible while failing to hide her trembling tears.

N’s kind heart stung for the child on the floor, her form crushed and shattered by her master. The last thing N wished was to hurt this poor creature, and the last thing she wanted was for him to touch her.

Gentle fingers softly caressed the abused face, feeling the pale skin shiver in fear beneath them.

“Look at me,” N whispered. Something about this prisoner was familiar.

S’s ivy eyes rose hesitantly, but the moment they struck N, his own eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

Those eyes were familiar. He had seen the tortured face many times before, but... it wasn’t possible. K had murdered her years ago. She had been tortured, then her head cut off, or at least, that’s what everyone had been led to believe. Couldn’t be. She was dead.

Dew drops clung to the long lashes that framed the eyes staring into his soul.

“S?”

The syllables startled the wretch and she grimaced and pinned herself even harder against the wall. All she wished was to hide away, to be ignored.

N’s soul broke with the realization that she didn’t remember him just yet. This had to be her, and he couldn’t hurt her, no matter what K threatened.

“Child, I’m not going to hurt you.” N cautiously brushed through her matted hair with his fingers in an attempt to gain trust.

S gradually recognized the man. N. The last time she had seen him failed to reappear in her mind. Perhaps he had changed. Surely this was a trap. Either way, K would return and N would give him a report on her, so she best remember her place.

Chains rattled as N removed the rusty collar tethering S to the wall. The chains connecting her ankles dropped. Tears fell throughout the entire process and she internally begged N not to hurt her.

She must obey him, and prove that she was a good slave, to avoid more pain. He couldn’t possibly be the same N who saved her life five years ago, or the same man who convinced D not to hurt her countless times.

A soft jolt singed S’s cut covered body, and whines escaped her as N lifted her body into his arms. Even his soft skin sent agonizing torment through her when he touched any of her wounds.

“Shh..” N cooed, almost fooling the girl with his gentle tone and soft eyes.

Whatever he was going to do to her, it would end in pain. He was just like K now, S was sure of it. K had been soft with her at times too, but he always seemed to run back to the realization of what a lowly wretch she was. She deserved the pain. She would beg for punishment, then perhaps N would tell K what a good prisoner she had been.

Although N attempted his best to lightly carry the girl, each step threw painful pressure on S’s injuries. She groaned. Groans transformed into sobs.

N couldn’t handle seeing the child in such torment. He set her down against a wall, then used his knowledge of the human body to provoke a pressure point, sending S into unconsciousness.

Unfamiliar sheets burned against bloodied skin as S shifted in her ending sleep. Eyes flushed open in shock. Green pupils stared into the crinkling brown ones above her, almost immediately shifting back down.

Oh god I made eye contact. I should ask for punishment. If I do, he won’t tell K and he’ll know I didn’t mean to. But if I talk, he’ll punish me.

The grieving child flinched in preparation for the sting that never came. Her skin jolted when tender fingers dragged themselves through her damp- wait damp?

Puzzled, S’s hand shakily lifted to slip through her slick roots. Had he- bathed her? Surely he must know she didn’t deserve such generosity. The sore wounds had been wrapped and cleansed as well. This tactic was familiar to her. He would show her mock kindness, healing her wounds, only to torture her again when her body was strong enough.

What if K hadn’t actually left, and he had simply sold her? This was a different castle after all... actually... she knew this place. D’s castle. These walls had distanced themselves for three years. And now she was back. The memory of her first visit haunted her. Her body flung to the floor. Her defiant screams of fear and pain. Before K broke her. Before she became what she was meant to be.

N’s words interrupted her thoughts.

“How are we feeling, lass?”

“Better, Master. Thank you. I don’t deserve your kindness.” The raspy voice barely croaked.

His tone tricked S into almost believing he wasn’t angry for the unwanted eye contact. Surely she wouldn’t remain unpunished.

“Dinna think ye were still alive after all these years. K w’d have us believe he’d tortured ya and killed ye. I can see he’s had his fair share of fun wit ya, hasn’t he?”

N’s velvet voice calmed S and she nodded, a saltwater drop searing a gash on her cheek. N’s hand drove towards her face, and his thumb wiped her tears as his palm cupped her trembling cheek.

“Hush, darling.”

“I’m sorry, Master. Forgive me. It’s not my place to cry.”

“No, no, you’re alright,” N cooed.

“I should be punished, sir. Please. I shouldn’t have cried before and I shouldn’t now. Please discipline me and teach me my place,” S’s whines for authority grew frantic. She had to be taught. If she wasn’t, she would forget what she was. They would have to break her all over again.

“No, love. Hush now.”

N grappled a chilly wet cloth. Frosty shudders danced through S when N dabbed her forehead with the rag. Her voice broke into a moaning tremor. All she wanted was to be punished. Sparing the pain now would create more torture later. Disdain blended with agony laced her high pitched whimpers when N’s soft hand guided the cloth against her face.

“I’ll make us supper. What’d ya like, lass?”

Utter confusion clogged S’s brain. He couldn’t have just asked her that. It must be a trap. She wasn’t allowed to eat unless specifically ordered to, hence the ribs that popped out with every intake of breath. She was merely a skeleton, hidden beneath a paper thin blanket of marred skin. S’s stomach was only given barely enough sustenance to pump her heart for a bit longer each day.

The few times that she had attempted to sneak food, S had been punished mercilessly, then given the opportunity to eat as a test of obedience. This must be another quiz of compliance. Although the punches of starvation beat her insides, S understood that the pain resulting from gluttony would be much worse.

Her new master’s patient gaze saturated her with concern.

“What do you want to eat, girl?”

“I’m ok, Master. I don’t eat a lot.”

That’s it. Perhaps he was testing her to see how much she required to continue breathing. If she showed she didn’t eat a lot or need much to survive, he would let her live. If she didn’t take much from him, he would keep her alive and let her serve him.

N stared through her pale body sorrowfully, a pang of guilt and pity trampling him like the wheels of a speeding train. The poor child. Someone had to help her. What had K done to her? What had become of his little lass? Where was the defiant young child who would have fought tirelessly for her innocent life? Was she dead, or was she simply hiding behind a submissive mask of the years of torture she had been subjected to? Patience for K was thinning. S belonged to him though. There was nothing to be done except show mercy to the captive while she was under his care.

K had ordered her torture when she was healed enough. N refused. Even if he did antagonize her, who knew how long her frail body could handle it?

“Come along, lass,” N softly demanded, whispering so as not to startle the girl. He gently settled his arm around S’s back, and she whimpered when his skin brushed against her freshly bandaged tissue. His strength assisted in hoisting her body upright, then he placed out both of his arms for S to use as leverage.

The hint wasn’t immediately taken.

“Place your hands on my forearms.”

Finally, an instruction. S’s sliced wrists snaked onto N’s tan arms, and with a groan, she lifted herself to stand.

“Go wait in the kitchen for me.”

S lowered her head and obeyed the order, limping out the door and down the halls. As she leaned against the walls for support, her delirious brain began to recognize the place. She had not seen these walls in forever, but they remained the same as they were two years ago. Her suffering body hobbled past K’s old suite, as well as D’s, and the years of torment came thrashing back. Pushing the tears in her mind aside, S slowly tripped down the stairs and into the main kitchen. The layout was similar, if not almost identical, to the entertainment, living, and kitchen area of K’s home.

Rather than hop towards the fridge and pick out a meal, S launched herself to her knees, and waited, head down and body prepared for any punishment or mere entertainment N wanted. The impending footsteps thumped down the staircase.

“What’re ye doing?” N’s bewilderment intertwined into his tone. “Git yerself up off da floor.”

S clamored to stand as tall as her crackling spine would allow her, but a slight slump in her body bent her like a weathered tree. Her right hand crossed in front of her to grasp her left wrist, a sign of submission and preparedness to be bound, if her master saw fit. Her head sank. She was do careful not to look her superiors in the eye. If she proved she was a good slave, maybe N would let her live, or at least make her death quick and painless.

Whether N’s intentions were to execute or torture S hid themselves. She had skimmed kindness and humaneness in his amber gaze, but she had witnessed the same thing from K before. He had shown her leniency many times, and she had even seen a tear shed once or twice, but he always ended up afflicting her again. She couldn’t trust those eyes, regardless of how promising and honest they seemed. Proving her worth would save her life, so she thought. She was a terrible slave. A wretch. An enemy who had been shown mercy. She deserved whatever awaited her in the dungeons; whatever waited behind N’s reassuring hand.

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cauqhtz · 3 years ago

Text

BEHIND THE SCENES | 05

"Beck!"

Mel raged storming into the BlackBox with her arms crossed, catching the attention of both Beck and Russ who were both in the middle of stage fighting.

"Hey, Mel- where is the rest of your cloth- Steve! Stop staring at my girlfriend," Beck glared, shielding his girlfriend from Russ's gaze.

"My name is R-"

"I thought you were wearing an overcoat when we left this morning?" Beck finished cutting Russ off, putting all his attention on Mel softening at her giggle.

"I was! Until.. Sinjin spilled some weird liquid all over me! The thing smelled so bad I had to burn it!"

"I'll make sure to order you a new one when we get home, deal?" Beck mused holding out his pinky finger, to connected with hers.

"Deal."

"Alright, class! Take your seats," The teacher announced squeezing in between Mel and Beck continuing to the stage before waiting for the class to take their seats before starting with today's lesson.

"This week I have invited a professional stuntman here to teach you all about Stage Fighting. This is Russ."

"Really? He kinda looks like a Steve to me," Lani shrugged glancing towards shrugged back as the class broke off into agreement.

"I'm Russ!" Russ yelled to which the teacher rushed forward to calm him down.

"Moving on!"

"Now if I throw a punch at Cat like this-"Russ demonstrated making Cat gasp.

"It's easy to see that my fist didn't connect with her face."

"Thank you," Cat swooned to which Lani threw a pen at her snapping the redhead from her daydream.

Everyone including Russ paused staring at the redhead who fiddled with her hair looking around.

"But if we stage it from a different angle then-" Russ and Cat switched positions, "Like I showed you-" Russ nodded at Cat who nodded back.

"Then on camera, it'll look like this," Russ trailed off faking a punch to Cat, making Mel lurch forward protectively alarming Tori and Beck who held her back.

"I'm okay Mel!" Cat cheered giggling as the class clapped.

"Alright, I'm going to pair you guys up. Each team will work with Russ this week to prepare a fight scene.

"I thought his name was Steve," Cat stated in confusion.

"He really does look like a Steve," Mel added, to which the class murmured in agreement again.

"My name is Russ!" Russ raged glaring at Mel to which Beck leaned forward staring at Russ intently.

"Okay, and on Friday, you will all perform your fight scenes here in front of the class."

"Now, the pairs will be:

Beck and Cat,

Andre and Gwen,

Jade and Lani,

Mel and Tori,

"Tori and who?" Tori panicked startling Mel who eyed her in confusion.

"Uh, wait! I'm not comfortable with my partner," Tori rushed causing the teacher to stare at her weirdly before motioning to hold on.

"Hey, Vega! I cannot wait for our scene," Mel cheesed before cartwheeling out of the BlackBox with Beck on her heels.

What Mel didn't know is that Tori took that as a threat.

Her father had always warned her about how far a person would go when they were afraid.

"Gulp."

"Look at her," Tori stared watching as Mel, Lani, Beck, Andre, and Jade all sat together messing around.

"Who?" Cat questioned not paying the brunette any attention as she did her makeup.

The only reason why she was sitting with Tori is that she begged her to do so.

"Mel! I guarantee you she's telling them all about how she's gonna punch me when we do our scene," Tori ranted stabbing at her salad.

"I know she seems intimidating but she would never hit anyone without reason," Cat wondered staring at herself in the mirror Mel and Lani bought for her.

"Cat! I'm serious okay? I mean what am I gonna do if she really hits me?"

"It's stage fighting Tori, no one really hits anybody," Cat shrugged.

"Yeah, but what if she makes an accident happen on purpose?" Tori panicked, flinging her lettuce back into her bowl.

"My brother made an accident happen on purpose, my eyebrows grew back," Cat smiled, before straightening up at Tori's look.

"Haven't you guys been practicing after school?" Cat asked getting back on topic.

"Well yeah... yesterday after school and this morning during study hall."

"Did she hit you foreals?" Cat questioned weirdly.

(Bunk'D reference)

"No, because she probably wants to wait and do it in front of the whole class to humiliate me," Tori accuses baffling Cat.

"Whoa, Tori. I know you're new here but one thing you should learn about Mel is that she isn't a bully okay? Maybe if you actually got to know her you wouldn't be so scared!" Cat yelled before stomping over to Mel's table catching her attention.

"Wait Cat! Don't go! You left your sandwich!" Tori called before scrambling away from both Mel and Lani's glare.

"Next up we have Mel and Tori."

"Um, okay for our scene. I'm gonna be playing an old lady, who's walking home from a bingo game," Tori faked a smile.

"And I play a brutal mugger." Mel shrugs just wanting to get the scene over with.

"Yes, a brutal mugger who mugs me, without actually hurting me," Tori states loudly glancing at Mel who tilted her head at the brunette in confusion.

"Are you trying to tell me something, Vega?" Mel questioned crossing her arms.

"Yeah, Vega. Do you have something to tell her?" Jade instigated.

Tori scowled at Jade who only snapped her jaw right back in a teasing way.

"Anyways! If anything goes wrong, just yell your safeword. Which is pineapple." Russ explained putting the conversation back on track.

"Ready? and-" The teacher started only to be cut off by Tori.

"Pineapple!"

"What is it Vega?" Mel sighed.

"TORI! Stop being such a pus-" Jade shouted only to be cut off by Lani slapping her hand over Jade's mouth.

"Tori, what's the problem?"

"I was testing the safe word." Tori grimaced, "It works! Okay, I'm ready."

"And. . .Action!"

"Oh, I certainly did enjoy the Bingo, although I do miss Bob Hope," Tori mumbled earning a chuckle from the class.

The class watched as Mel ran forward gripping Tori's shoulders.

"Put the wig in the bag, me-maw!" Mel shouted catching the class off-guard.

"What?!" Tori reigned an old lady's voice.

"I ain't playing granny! Put. the. wig. in. the. bag! PUT IT IN!" Mel shouted again causing the class, including Russ, to laugh.

"Oh, wouldn't you rather have this?" Tori started before swinging the cane at Mel's face whacking her across the face foreals.

"Ow." Mel groaned stumbling as she went to stand up alarming the class.

"Pineapple!" Jade yelled as she basically trucked Tori onto the ground trying to get to Mel with Lani right behind her also stepping or stomping onto Tori's ankle causing the brunette to cry out.

"Melanin, Baby keep your eyes open, okay?" Beck panicked rushing towards the twins before scooping Mel up in his arms.

"Take her to the nurse! The ambulance and her father are on their way!" Russ rushed.

"She doesn't need-" Tori started only for Lani to buck at her shutting the Brunette up immediately

"Is she gonna be okay?" Cat questioned in a small voice.

"No! Tori hit her in the face for real!" Lani raged launching onto the Vega at the same time Jade did to which Russ and Andre went to pull them apart.

"No, I didn't!"

"Tell that to my almost unconscious best friend," Jade yelled going to jump at her smirking as Tori stumbled back.

Pussy.

Soon enough a very tall and intimidating man stormed into the BlackBox heading towards Lani, Jade, and Cat.

"Princesses, what happened to your sister?" The man boomed.

Cyrus, both Mel and Lani's biological father. Though he knew Cat and Jade weren't his blood. He still considered them his daughters, he was one of those dad's that everyone knew and called Papa Rus.

"Papa Rus! Tori hit Mel in the face with a cane!" Cat cried to wrapping her arms around Cyrus who immediately hugged her back.

"Who is this Tori?"

Jade pointed to Tori who tried to hide her fear.

"My-my dad's a cop-" Tori was cut off by Cyrus who busted out in laughter. Not an amusing laugh, but a bone-chilling laugh.

"What can a mall cop do to me? Silly, silly girl."

Lani and Jade had jumped Tori that same night.

Tori had apologized to both Mel and her father.

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

Text

Once bitten, twice stupid prt.42

Dinner was loud. It was chaos. And it felt like a weight off of Lance’s shoulder once they were done. No one had stabbed anyone. Nothing was broken. Matt and Rieva ate like civilised people, with Rieva even offering to help with the dishes. Sending the group off to relax in the living room, Shiro picked up the tea towel and Lance knew he was about to get “the talk”.

Filling the sink with water too hot for a normal human to withstand, Shiro at least let him get through the plates before breaking the silence

“So you and Keith?”

Lance cringed. He understood Keith didn’t want to lie, but with things so new, he’d kind of hoped he would... for a little while

“Yep”

“How did that happen?”

“I’m not really sure...”

“He didn’t see to know either”

Lance felt the dig. Shiro almost asking that question

“I guess it really changed when he drove me to Platt. My mother, well, you know she’s old. I was in... I was pretty upset and he drove me there. That’s when I turned into a bat”

“I remember that. He was freaking out”

“I gathered. I don’t remember what happened, but Coran made him see I hadn’t turned him. He looked after me for three days, then took me to see my Mami again. I know he’s your brother, but did you need to raise him to be so damn stubborn?”

Lance attempt at humour fell flat, much like he wanted to do. Kind of drop to the floor then crawl away from the conversation

“He was like that when I met him. I don’t know if he told you...”

“That he hasn’t had the greatest life because kids are cruel and he never felt wanted? There’s a lot Keith says, and a lot in the things he doesn’t say. He’d frustrating, stubborn, and quick to act before his brain catches up. His people limit is pretty much two, and if he doesn’t have his coffee he can’t human... but he’s got a big heart”

“I thought you’d bring him out his shell... I didn’t think this would happen”

Shiro didn’t have much right to complain. He had left Keith there

“Neither did we. We both thought Coran and Allura were daydreaming. Then Curtis started calling us soulmates... I’ve tried avoiding relationships all my life, then he comes in with his mullet and bad mood..”

“I don’t approve. And I’m not impressed that you didn’t take him to Coran when he started complaining about chest issues. Coran would have said something if he’d noticed anything during the checks he did on him... I haven’t been allowed to help him that much...”

“Yet you took him down an abandoned mine”

“In my defence, he climbed down after me. After I told him not to. He took plenty of photos down there”

“You really bought him a camera?”

Why did Shiro sound so shocked? He not only had a lie to sell, but Keith’s identity to protect and the man had been a lost puppy without his brother.

“Keith’s been stuck out here with nothing to do, and nothing of his own. It wasn’t fair he was left behind, so I wanted to do something nice for him. Coran told me I shouldn’t be training or pushing myself, which doesn’t give him a whole lot to do. He’s been doing plenty of normal human things. We went to movies in Platt. Hunk finally asked Shay out. Pidge roped him into one of her planning afternoons for a hunt that was not fun at all. We went drinking and he actually sang karaoke. He also tried to get into a fight, then threw up everywhere when we got home... but he’s been doing better. He’s not as angry when he first got here”

“No. I can see that... He’s my family...”

Lance cut Shiro off. Yeah. He got it

“I know. That’s why I told him that you two needed to talk. That he didn’t have to return my feelings and he should talk to you before we decided to date. I don’t have a good relationship with my siblings, so I’m not always going to get what goes on between you. But I don’t want to see him hurt. I don’t want him to feel obligated or pity because his blood triggered this change in me. I want him to live a good life and die old and happy. We’re not rushing things. We don’t want to rush things. But I’m serious in supporting him the best I can. He’s a grown man. He has his own job, money, and life. I don’t want him to be some pet kept on a short leash. All I want is for him to know he can be himself when he’s here and that I’m not about to judge him for it”

Shiro sighed, placing back down the plate he’d picked up to dry

“I need to know. Will having Matt and Rieva here endanger him?”

“Vampires have an evolved sense of smell. That’s why we don’t mix much. The same goes for werewolves. We have egos. A vampire who’s out of control is a vampire who’s let his ego go. I’m not in any hurry to start anything with Matt or with Rieva. Pidge is like a sister to me. You’re vouching for them, so I’m taking your word that this won’t become something. For his safety and yours, don’t come around when it’s a full moon, not the day before or the day after. If something happens, I can protect one of you, but I don’t know about both of you. Not from two werewolves, especially in a new environment. Curtis... it’s complicated. We didn’t get off on the best foot, but Coran sent him. I suppose because I’m closest thing to cursed and don’t want to harm anyone if I can help it. As for dating, we already know my teeth get in the way. We’ll treat it like anyone with a contagious blood disease does. If things cool off, then we’ll have an answer to what’s between us”

“And what if you lose control?”

“Even when I do, I seem to know Keith. I don’t remember anything from turning into a bat the first time. But it seems I clung to him. I’m sure Coran would say it’s due to our quintessence. I know when I shouldn’t be around him, and when to distance myself. I don’t know how many other ways I can swear I don’t want to hurt him”

“Accidents happen”

“I know. That’s part of the reason I didn’t want to admit how he makes me feel”

“And how’s that?”

“Almost alive... You should go join the others. Keith’s going to come marching in here expecting the worst. He gets a bit protective”

“He does that”

“One day it’s going to get him hurt”

“That’s why I can’t give you my full blessings”

Shiro wouldn’t be much of a brother or hunter if he simply rolled over on his human brother dating a monster

“I get it. I really do. Still, for Keith’s sake, I don’t want to fight with you. He loves you, and he needs you. No matter what he says”

“Keith’s isn’t like most people. When his heart breaks... he gets hurt ten, twenty, times worse than normal”

“I know. Like I said, there’s a lot in what he doesn’t say”

“I would prefer you waited before your relationship turned physical”

“We are. My body is going through changes and he respects that. Just like I respect him and nothing happened that night he was drunk, no matter how handsy he got”

“Drunk Keith is a bit...”

“Drunk Keith is a slut. Those are his words. That’s why I won’t do anything to break the trust he has in me. I don’t want him to live a life of regrets”

“I keep forgetting you’re older than us”

“Don’t remind me. I don’t enjoy looking barely legal”

“Coran can’t help?”

“Even if he could, I’d rather he help Curtis first. He’s struggling with his curse and it’s so cruel that he can’t control the things he says. His life’s been put on because of it. I’m sure he’s happy to have you here because he finally has someone who can reach out their hand to him. More importantly, do you know when Matt intends to reach out to Pidge? I’d like to let Hunk know so he can be there to support her”

“Matt was thinking of waiting a few days”

Great. He didn’t want to keep lying to his friends for that long... Pidge also wanted to go back and explore under the pub...

“Alright. I’ll work things out with him. I’ll finish up here”

Lance nearly didn’t head into the living room when he’d finished the dishes. Keith hadn’t come to check on him, he could hear Shiro attempting to draw his boyfriend into conversation with the others. Keith’s poor people skills must have been at their limit. Being the amazing host he was, Lance made up a batch of Hunk’s hot chocolate, making sure that Keith’d have enough milk for his morning coffees as he did. Feeling a little fancy, he got out his Mami’s favourite serving tray. It’d been a gift from all of them as kids. Well loved and well mended. All their names scrawled across the back. The “L” in Lance’s name drawn backwards. The “I” in his older sister Veronica’s name had a heart instead of a tittle. Rachel had a smiley grave. Marco had always had a flare for the dramatic, his name taking up nearly the whole back. Luis name was the neatest of all. Lance wasn’t so much of a dick as to scratch Luis name off... Not when Mami still loved the serving tray.

Loaded up with the twin jugs, cups, and cookies, Lance carried the lot into the living room. Rieva and Matt were cuddled on the rug. Keith had Blue in his lap, with Curtis and Shiro taking up the rest of his sofa. Hearing his voice, he found the group were watching Pidge’s videos. Lance felt more than a little embarrassed. Strangers watching were one thing, a group of people in his house watching him... was something else. Carrying the tray to the coffee table, Lance set it down carefully

“Thanks, Lance. It looks good”

Lance gave Curtis a thin smile, pained at hearing his voice droning on

“Hot chocolate made with lactose free milk and Hunk’s recipe. Help yourselves”

Nervously pouring a glass, Lance backed away, standing by the arm of the couch so he wasn’t in the way. Matt shot him as thanks as he got two glasses organised for him and Rieva. At least Matt didn’t think he was trying to poison him, not like a certain mulleted hunter the first time he gave him coffee

“Lance, wanna sit?”

Lance turned too look at Keith over his shoulder. Blue had been passed to Shiro, not looking happy about giving up Keith’s lap

“I’m good”

Keith might have told Shiro they were dating but they didn’t need to rub it in his face

“If Shiro moves over there’s enough space”

Now that Keith’s lap wasn’t offer, he felt strangely rejected. Warmth started creeping up from his belly... Now was not the time

“Actually, I’m going to head to bed. Yep. Goodnight all, see you in the morning”

Fleeing the room, the cup of hot chocolate made the trip up stairs with him. Slamming his door a touch too hard, Lance rushed to place his cup down on the bedside table. Downstairs Matt was making a comment about something sweet in the air, Shiro joking about it being the smell of the hot chocolate. Rieva agreed with Matt, adding how the smell made her hungry... Her tone saying what kind of “hungry” she meant. Lance seriously doubted they’d do anything to him, but the idea of two horny werewolves scared the fuck out of him. Striding across to his window, he opened it as wide as it went. He didn’t understand why these heat flushes had to keep happening. He’d made up with Shiro, and he’d made up with the others over dinner. Werewolves and meat was kind of a no brainer. Now he was supposed to be relaxing and getting to know them all better.

Stripping himself down, he was too hot for a pyjama shirt and opted for pants only. Given his naturally cold state, and the cool wind through the window, he should morgue slab corpse cold. He’d spent years witching his body would be warm, now he cursed it. The sun had barely been down the better part of an hour, and here he was going off to bed like a loser. Climbing into bed, didn’t help. Keith’s scent cling to his sheets, but the man himself wasn’t there.... and his stupid body want okay with that. The aching throb between his legs drew a whisper from him as wetness dribbled from his arse. Even with the distance, Matt could smell him. Matt colour smell him and the damn stupid mutt was growling over it. If he dared lay a finger on Keith, Lance was going to snap off the insulting digit, force it up Matt’s urethra then snap his dick off and feed it to him like some kind of “fingdicken”, operating on the same principle as a turducken. Maybe he could use bacon as an outer wrapping... kind of borrowing the spirit of “what’s in the box?”.

Slightly horrified by his own thoughts, he curled up up. He didn’t necessarily hate Matt. He just didn’t want Keith to be hurt. Shiro wouldn’t let Keith be hurt. Meaning his twisted thoughts never needed to form. Keith could take care of himself. An involuntary whimper escaped as the first cramp of need hit. Covering his mouth quickly, he listened for a response downstairs. Rieva was busy scolding Matt, the sound seemed to have escaped their attention. With his body like this, he was going to be forced to have a conversation he really didn’t want to have. They whole “hey, I’m not a werewolf but I kind of go into fits of heat” thing was going to make it complicated. Right now he wanted it to piss right off and never come back. He wanted to be downstairs with everyone else, getting know them and not seeming like a dick. Now he was hiding in bed too scared to jerk off in case he was heard. This vampire thing sucked.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid

13 notes · View notes

juminsmysticmc · 5 years ago

Note

If you don't mind and if you have time for this one I was hopping you could do one. This is where MC is completely new at relationships she's uncomfortable with human contact for a while and she is constantly second guessing herself not sure what she should be doing in the relationship. Like if she says or do something and they don't give her a reaction she immediately starts freaking out.

RFA with a MC who is new at relationships

Hey! This is a nice request! Thank you for sending it to me! I hope you like it! Please tell me your opinion! (I think I forgot the one with the being uncomfortable to human touch)

Jumin

You fidgeted with your fingers as your eyes observed the ticking clock.

Soon, your husband would come home.

It wasn’t that you regretted your marriage, not at all, but perhaps it was a step too quickly for your heart to handle.

You didn’t know what to do. Should you cook for him?

Prepare the bath?

Would asking him be odd? Would saying nothing make him uncomfortable?

You weren’t sure what to do.

The relationship between you and the CEO in line was actually okay. He was a loving husband and took great care of you.

The problem was you.

Whenever the two of you were together, you were unsure what you should do.

Perhaps lay your head on his shoulder?

These problems made you tired, so time passed quickly and Jumin seemed to come home sooner than planned.

You happily greet him, took his stuff, and went back.

,,Am I not getting a welcome kiss?“ he asked you with a sweet smile.

But all you thought about was that you made a mistake-you didn’t give him a kiss.

,,Why? You don’t like kissing me?“ he asked you when you seemed to be lost in your daydream.

,,Huh?“ you responded quickly and your cheeks burned up.

Maybe this was a good opportunity to be honest with him.

,,It’s that I simply don’t know what to do. You are my husband and I love you, but we didn’t even date. I‘m not sure how to handle a relationship…“ you confessed, feeling better afterwards.

Jumin loosened his cravat and kept smirking at you.

,,I understand…“ he nodded.

Suddenly his arms grabbed your waist and you were in his embrace.

,,Then let’s learn it together…!“

Zen

You didn’t think about this problem when you first visited him.

You just enjoyed the time you had with Zen.

But then, after he officially said that you were his girlfriend, everything began to crumble in your head.

Worries and fears accompanied you the whole day.

It first began when both of you were walking hand in hand through the park.

A lot of people were taking pictures because the background looked wonderful.

And so you asked him if the both of you should do the same.

Zen looked at his right while you patiently waited for his response.

But somehow, he stayed silent and looked away again, giving you a scare.

It was as if someone stabbed you.

Since then you were cautious of what you said. The fear of being ignored once again scared you.

The fear of him tiring of you.

This habit of yours went on for a long time.

Sometimes, you were even unsure when to make a move on him and waited for him to make the first move on you.

The fear that he would ignore one of your kisses was way too big.

,,Can we talk?’’ Zen asked you one evening over the phone.

He was on his way home while you had a free day.

Your thoughts began to go crazy. All your thoughts began to tire you out.

,,Y-yes of c-course, Zenny…’’ you mumbled, unsure, and heard a peep-peep a few seconds later.

,,Oh, he cut the call on me…’’ you began to whine.

Your phone suddenly touched the cold floor as your cold hands tried to calm you down with no avail.

Not long after Zen called you, he put the key into the door and opened it.

The creaking of the door made you shriek a bit and jump up.

Zen laughed at your reaction, making you a bit unsure of what you should do now.

After all you were 100% sure that he would break up with you.

Suddenly, Zen took your and and looked into your eyes.

His deep red eyes made you fall in love even deeper. Could you really afford to lose him?

,,Don’t you like me anymore?’’ he suddenly asked you.

,,What?’’ you asked back, not getting what he was trying to say.

,,Well, you keep being distant... you never say anything, you never tell me to do anything, so I thought that you may not like me anymore,’’ Zen honestly told you, showing you that you weren’t the only one who was unsure of what to do.

Cold, salty tears, suddenly rolled down.

,,I’m sorry... I simply don’t know what to do in a relationship! I wanted to take a picture last time and you kept ignoring me, so I was scared to ask a second time or to even ask anything else…’’ you admitted, still sobbing.

Zen lightly chuckled and wiped away the tears you were shedding.

,,I’m sorry, Princess...It was my mistake...apparently I gave you the wrong signals...I love you. Just be yourself and everything will be fine, okay?’’ he whispered into your ear and embraced you.

Yoosung

,,I wanna give you a kiss!’’ you sweetly mumbled and aimed for your boyfriend’s cheek when he suddenly turned away.

Your body froze and you quickly withdrew your head.

Since then, you never made a move anymore.

The only misunderstanding was that your boyfriend was wearing headphones and didn’t realize you were next to him trying to give him a kiss.

The problem was that both of you were new in a relationship and so none knew what to do.

Clumsy accidents like these weren’t new for the two of you.

Instead, both of you should be used to them.

Whenever he tried to get your soft, warm hand, you withdrew the hand and suddenly pointed at something.

Of course, it was just a mistake since you didn’t pick up on Yoosung’s affectionate gesture.

But even though he was a bit sad, he wasn’t better at all.

Sometimes he just didn’t listen to you.

One day he even ignored your message, making you even more nervous.

You were new at these problems.

What was the solution?

Sending him a reminder?

A second message?

Arguing over it?

Leaving him?

,,Aish, this relationship is sucking all my strength…’’ you then mumbled, turning on the television to think about something else.

A few moments later, you found yourself laid down on the couch with a blanket over your body.

When you looked around, you noticed that Yoosung sat down right In front of you.

,,Awake?“ he asked you in a husky voice.

You slowly nodded and rubbed your eyes.

,,Are you perhaps uncomfortable with me?“ he then asked you.

You tried to register his words as best you could.

,,No...sometimes I just don’t know how to handle the relationship...I‘m new at all that…“ you confessed.

,,The same for me...they are just accidents when you take back your hand, right?“ he asked you.

,,Huh? That happened? So when you turned around when I wanted to kiss you, you didn’t notice?“ you asked him.

Suddenly both of you break into a loud laughter, finally understanding each other.

Jaehee

,,Jaehee, should I use chocolate cream instead of the vanilla one?“ you asked loudly.

After you didn’t receive a reaction you decided to look up.

You thought she would be somewhere in the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be found.

Suddenly, you saw her between the tables, doing the decorating for the day.

A light smile appeared on your lips but then you began to second guess yourself.

Were you helping her enough?

She still didn’t respond and so you decided to simply do it the way you wanted.

,,It’s well done…“ she praised you a few moments later, touching your shoulder and looking at your work.

You immediately shivered at her touch and looker up.

She, however, didn’t notice that you felt kind of weird at her sudden touch.

Your confusion continued.

You weren’t sure what to do with your own feelings. Feelings of fear and insecurity.

,,Mc…!“ your girlfriend called you, waking you up from your daydream. .

,,I asked you if you felt alright…“ Jaehee laughed.

But now it was your chance to tell her that you actually felt weird.

That you were unsure how to react whenever she touched you, and that you were scared whenever she ignored you.

And so you did, surprising her a little.

But she also nodded in agreement.

,,I understand how you feel. And it’s okay because I felt the same. Let’s just get used to it together, Mc. And let’s promise each other to talk about our feelings.“ Jaehee told you, taking your hand to show you that she was supporting you the best she could.

Saeyoung

It was natural that both of you felt weird.

Saeyoung didn‘t know how human love, warmth, or touch felt, apart from the love he got from his brother.

But when that happened, he was still young.

Now that the two of you were a couple, both of you sat in front of each other, wondering what you should do now.

At first, you thought that as soon as you were in an official relationship with him, you would feel better or that you would know how to handle your emotions.

The fear and excitement you had deep in your heart.

It was kind of difficult after all.

It wasn’t like you thought it would be.

You were still scared touching Saeyoung.

Giving him a kiss on your own instinct was hard. Almost embarrassing.

Talking was always connected to the past.

And so, you would rather stay silent than asking him something.

A perfect example was when you asked him about his favourite cartoon.

Perhaps he was reminded of something from the past.

He didn’t tell you what he was thinking about.

Being rejected like that was a pain you didn’t want to experience.

,,Is there something wrong with me?“ Saeyoung asked himself someday, noticing that you were oddly quiet, comparing to the first few days when you joined the RFA.

And so he decided to ask you and talk about it.

While doing so, he accidentally overheard a phone call between you and Jaehee.

,,I would like to hold his hand and lean my head on his shoulder but I don’t have the courage…“ you mumbled into the phone.

,,No, he doesn’t give me any signs. I would like him give me hints, but he doesn’t do that! And besides, I don’t have the courage to talk to him about daily things and I don’t want to hurt him with specific topics…“ you kept saying.

,,Yes, okay, let’s talk later. Thank you for hearing me out.“ you nodded, sighing at the fact that you had no solution.

As soon as you cut the call, your eyes meet your boyfriend‘s eyes.

That’s when you realised that maybe now you would be able to find a solution.

,,I‘m sorry,“ he mumbled and sat down next to you.

,,I didn’t see that it was hard for you...apparently you feel the same as me…“ he explained and hugged you.

You immediately hugged him back, resting your head on his strong chest.

,,I‘m sorry too, for not talking with you about it.

I guess the relationship is a bit new for me…“ you concluded, and so you suggested to write out everything you would like to do, or be able to do, and then talk about it.

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2MASTERLIST 3

15.11.2019// 21:27 MEST

Tagged:

@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @sailormoonrocks666

@widya345 @remiliadacalde @r-f-a-journalists

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staring-at-afterimages · 4 years ago

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fjalkdsjfl. idk. college au

Will Graham put off taking Psychology 101 as long as he possibly could, but now it was senior year and his advisor had started getting pushy. “Most Crime and Legal Studies majors take this course the first semester of freshman year,” she had said. “I’m pretty sure all your Biology friends have taken it too, just to get their Social Science requirement out of the way.”

He had snorted at the term “friends”, which he realized now was inappropriate, but it was too late for any take-backs. Here he was, stuck listening to Fredericka Lounds talk for a full three minutes about how fascinating psychopaths were, and the ever-patient professor with a slight Texas drawl trying desperately to explain to her that mental illnesses wouldn’t be covered until chapter four.

The international student next to him (some sort of European) noticed him grimace and Will caught his understanding smirk without meaning to. He wasn’t really interested in the guy (Hamish? Hamilton? Something weird, he’s sure), and if the meticulously handwritten notes on an extravagantly expensive leather notebook were anything to go by, he was way out of Will’s league to be friendly with anyways.

Will recorded most of his classes on his cellphone, and hadn’t seen a pencil in at least six months.

(Hamlet?) surprised him, though, when he cleared his throat and said, “Ms. Lounds, as much as we’d all love to hear about the latest Law and Order episode, I am quite interested in our professor’s lecture on the brain’s anatomy. Might we get back to that?”

Freddie went red and her jaw snapped shut for the first time ever. A murmur of approval went around the room. The student said nothing else, but Will could tell he was preening as he arranged his pencils just so.

He played around a bit with the idea of thanking him, but every scenario played out too stupid and the moment had passed anyways.

Despite the classroom humiliation, the guy somehow landed an invitation to Freddie’s True Crime Club, and seemed more than able to make pleasant conversation with her as people trickled in.

Will on the other hand could barely keep his resentment in check, but she was openly rude and invasive to pretty much anybody, so they maintained an acquaintanceship out of shared social incompetence.

That was the case with almost all his “friends”, who were also in the True Crime Club. There was Zeller, his abrasive roommate from freshman year (before he realized his constant nightmares were reason enough for a single); Jimmy, the guy who had a fun fact for every topic; Bev, the Forensics Psych major who knew exactly what was wrong with you; Jack, captain of the rugby team and biggest control freak on campus--all assholes in their own right, hanging out together more out of habit now than anything else. The only exception was Alana, who was somehow sweet and compassionate amongst the rabble of odd, blunt antisocialites.

The Club went on as usual, with Freddie leading a discussion about the serial killer of the week and promoting her own blog. It wasn’t the cheeriest of extracurriculars, but it gave the morbid tendencies of his mind some direction, and Alana said it would be good for him to socialize. Jimmy was cracking some joke about Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer when Will said, almost without thinking, “The killer was obviously on the investigative team.”

All faces turned to him, which was more annoying than anything else. Now he was expected to elaborate.

“Well--it was the guy on the radio that told the cops to be looking for a black suspect, which is why they completely missed him when they passed him on the road. So someone had to have called that in. And this guy is obviously a narcissist and a sadist. And police officer is one of the top jobs for psychopaths…” he went on into a rant, completely on accident, detailing the killer’s mindset and personality.

The room was a little quiet after that. Will shrugged in his flannel uncomfortably and daydreamed about what if he could be normal and just go fishing instead of being the biggest weirdo in a room full of weirdos.

“Fascinating,” Exchange student--Hannibal--finally said. “You’re able to completely reconstruct the killer’s thinking. That’s quite a gift.”

The attention was disconcerting and there was no way to divert it without talking even more. He abruptly stood up, mumbled something about laundry, and left. It was not his most graceful exit, but this was the path of least embarrassment, and maybe he’d get stabbed on the way back to his dorm and this nightmare would finally end.

#will graham solves the zodiac killer?? NOT CLICKBAIT #idk what to even tag this #my writing

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artistic-writer · 5 years ago

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The Paradox of Light :: CS AU : Rated E :: part 5

Title: The Paradox of Light by @artistic-writer Summary: Imagine having one person, one constant, one love in your life that holds your head when you go under the surface. They will be there forever, holding your hand through everything life can throw at the pair of you, but what happens when a crack forms? What happens when it grows into something neither of you can control? What happens when the one person who was there to guide you becomes an obstacle and rather than hold you up, they pull you down? How do you find your way out of the darkness without your light? Rating: E Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, sexual addiction, domestic violence, fighting, choking, erotic asphyxiation (use in a non-informed manner), depression, death of Liam Jones, panic attacks, PTSD, attempted rape/non-con/dub-con, stab wounds, bar fights, rehab/AA meetings

- but there is a happy ending to this story, i promise.

Author’s Note: I missed this ficversary because of everything that is going on in the world right now, but its been in the plan to re-release it as a multichapter for some time. It’s A LOT otherwise and whilst I initially always intended this to be a one shot, because I wrote it in one go, its not logical to expect people to stop and read so many words in one go. The lovely fanart by @itsfabianadocarmo features in all chapters, so go show her some love!

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!! This fic has a lot of them for a reason. If you want to ask about any, please don’t be afraid to message me.

Part Five [ below the cut ]

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Five Years Later

Killian hated the meetings. He hated the way other people hated themselves because it felt like it belittled the way he despised himself. There were no words that he could ever have used to describe how rotten he felt, right down to the core, disgusted with his actions. He carried his shame around with him daily but he didn’t mind, because the sobriety chip he always kept in his pocket was far more important to him. It kept him grounded, reminded him of what he had lost but also somehow gained. There had only ever been one other thing as important in his life, but she had seen him for what he truly was and had left.

It was his turning point, the fork in the road, and luckily he had made the right decision and got clean. It would have been so much easier to have fallen back into a bottle, swam around in the bitterness of alcohol but he would have eventually drowned. So he went to the meetings, he told his story and the room of other addicts applauded him each and every time, and he couldn’t help but wish he wasn’t going through it alone. He wished Emma was there with him, to see how far he had come, but the guilt he carried for how he had treated her never let up and whilst he knew she was living in New York, thanks to Will, he was too contrite to find her.

Emma was adamant that he get help and despite her leaving him to do it alone, he figured it was the last thing he could have done for her to prove to her he wasn’t anything like the monster he had become.

“You come here often?” a voice said from beside him, making him jump a little. The hot coffee he was stirring with a tiny wooden stick sloshed out of the styrofoam cup and over his hand making him almost drop the cup in his haste to shake off the boiling liquid.

“Oh shit! Sorry!” The woman said hurriedly, grabbing a handful of the provided napkins and dabbing his hand without invitation. “Are you okay?”

Killian took the napkins from her and rubbed at his hand, the skin red and sore almost instantly. He stared at the mark, an oddly shaped blemish that resembled a hook, and frowned. “Yeah, I’m alright,” he said with a weak smile. “Hollye, right?” He offered her his hand after wiping the coffee from it down the leg of his jeans.

“Yeah,” she smiled back with a ruby tint to her cheeks. “Killian, right?” She pretended she didn’t know, letting her hand linger in his a little longer than intended.

“I am, thank you” he nodded, slipping his fingers from hers and returning to his half spilled coffee. “I’m not very good at making these, but would you like a coffee?”

“Please,” she smiled again, leaning on the table and cocking her head to one side. She was dressed to impress it seemed, her very low cut top exposing more than enough cleavage to make any man blush or salivate like one of Pavlov’s dogs. She glanced behind her to make sure the other attendees were helping to clear the chairs before sucking in a breath. “I’m sorry. I know we are not supposed to form relationships outside of these things…”

“Relationships?” Killian visibly winced at her words, squinting an eye closed as he offered her the coffee cup. It was only half full lest they experience any more accidents, with a little wooden stirring stick poking out of the plastic sip lid. She took the coffee, clutching it with both hands and looked down at the wispy steam escaping from the lid clearly embarrassed. “Look, I’m sure you are a very nice lass,” he offered her quickly, dipping his head to catch her gaze and giving her a smile. “I’m just not…”

“Oh, of course,” Hollye shrugged, straightening herself up and pulling at her top, trying to cover up a little.

“I mean you no offense,” Killian said softly.

“She must be a very lucky woman,” Hollye said with a forced smile, trying not to sound too jealous over a woman she didn’t even know existed.

Killian laughed, the sarcastic chortle making him shake his head. “It was I who was the lucky one,” he said sadly. He shifted his weight, looking down at his own coffee which he swore bore Emma’s resemblance in the honey coloured crema.

“Was?” Hollye prodded with a frown. “I’ve heard your story. Was that her?”

Killian nodded. “Aye,” he blushed with a sigh. He had lost count of the times he had relived what had happened that night, in his nightmares and in the meetings. Each time things got easier to talk about, but it still shocked him to the core when a new member would gasp at his revelation, unable to hold their judgement.

“You still love her, don’t you?” Hollye smiled knowingly. Killian looked up and met her gaze, the upturned corners of her lips reminding him a little of the way Emma used to smile.

“I do,” he said without hesitation. “I always will.”

“Have you asked for forgiveness?” Hollye’s words hung on Killian’s mind. One of the first stages of recovery from any addiction was asking for forgiveness from the ones you had wronged. They didn’t have to absolve you, that was their choice, but there would be no progression in your recovery if you didn’t ask. Hollye took in Killian’s million mile stare. “I think you should.”

“It’s not exactly as easy as that,” Killian looked down again, lifting his cup to his mouth and taking a sip of the foul tasting bitterness the meeting organisers tried to pass for coffee. “I’ve only seen her twice since she left.”

“And what did she say?” Hollye prompted with a sip of her own cup, the sour liquid burning her tongue.

“Why am I even telling you this?” Killian chuckled, suddenly embarrassed. “We don't even know each other’s surnames.”

“And yet, you know how I walked the streets giving out hand jobs for a twenty and I know how you nearly raped your girlfriend because you were drangry,” she said with a ‘so there’ look.

“Drangry?” Killian cringed as he said the word. It sounded wrong in his mouth, clearly not recognised by any officiating language body. Hollye had seemingly made it up on the stop.

“Drunk angry. So drunk you are angry about everything. Drangry,” she clarified like it was obvious and took another sip of the coffee. “So tell me, what did she say?”

“Nothing,” Killian looked away sheepishly, the prick of red covering the tips of her ears. “I said I’ve only seen her twice, as in seen her. From afar.”

“Oh, you mean like a stalker,” Hollye teased and his head snapped up to give her a confused look. “Was you hiding in the shadows? Maybe nearby whilst she visited the grave of a loved one?” Hollye laughed but Killian did not join her, because by some miserable coincidence, she was right.

The first time he had seen Emma, he had thought he was imagining things. It was a year after she had left and when he had visited Liam’s grave on his birthday, there were fresh yellow flowers laid over the ground in front of the headstone with a small note that read, ‘See you tomorrow’ on it. The groundskeeper had described Emma exactly how he had remembered her and when he had returned the next day, skulking in the shadow of a nearby tree, she had appeared like a daydream come to life.

The next year he expected her return and sure enough, right on time on what would have been Liam’s birthday, she appeared again with a bunch of yellow flowers and sat at the grave for hours. She talked about a man named Graham, about how he made her happy and even though he wasn’t exactly the person she imagined spending the rest of her life with, she thought Liam would approve of him. That was the last time Killian saw her and he told himself that he was still new to the recovery process and he should stay away, all the while seething with jealousy and hatred for a man he had never met who had given her happiness when all he could have given her was more pain.

“Oh Lord, you did, didn’t you?” Hollye giggled, half scandalized by his silent admission. “You stalked her over the grave of a loved one!”

“My loved one,” Killian huffed. “My brother.”

“Oh,” Hollye lost her smile, her joviality fading immediately. She had been listening to Killian’s story for long enough to know that losing his brother was the start of his decline. “I’m sorry.”

Killian gave her a quick sideways smile. “You didn’t know,” he said quietly. “No harm done.”

“Isn’t it your brother’s birthday next month?” Hollye nudged his hand with hers, bringing him back to reality. She lifted her cup to her mouth, closing her lips over the warmed styrofoam and blowing gently over the surface of the coffee. It rippled and bobbed against the side of the cup, threatening to splash her face. When Killian gave her a strange look she just shrugged. “Do you even listen to anyone else’s story at these things, or do I have to do all the hard work for both of us?”

“I listen,” Killian pouted.

“Then you will also know it is Liam’s birthday next month,” Hollye emphasized his brother’s name and Killian staved off tears at the upcoming event. It was hard, it always had been, but even more so since he had been sober. There was temptation everywhere he looked, obvious and subliminal, but what really gave him the most turmoil was fighting the urge to see Emma again. In a way it was a welcome distraction, only it was becoming more and more difficult knowing she was in the same town at the same time every year and he hadn’t seen her for three.

“You should ask for forgiveness,” Hollye repeated, interrupting his thoughts.

“You’re a good person, Hollye,” Killian smiled, offering her his hand. She took it, shaking their joined hands up and down between them with a smirk.

“I’ve been called worse,” she winked.

One month later

Emma came home every year for exactly two reasons.

Her adoptive parents still lived in the town so she used the time to visit them, making sure that they were doing well and managing in their increasingly elderly state. They were older when they adopted her, having already had children of their own, but never being the sort of people to turn away a stray. Emma’s adoptive brother David tried to find the time to meet her at home, but he was busy and often it was just her. Not that the Nolans minded, because Emma was happy and that was all they had ever wanted her to be.

Secondly, Emma had never found peace at the passing of her friend, Liam Jones. He was taken from her life too soon, cruelly, and she had struggled with his loss for many years. When she had moved away she couldn’t shake the niggling feeling deep within her that meant she missed him terribly. New York felt like half a world away so to relieve the build up of anxiety, each year she would return home and visit his grave.

She tended the site, weeding and making sure that it was kept spic and span. Liam was a military man and so would never have wanted anything so messy representing the man he once was. Emma bought him flowers, always the same sunshine yellow Chrysanthemums because Liam always used to say that they reminded him of her. They were a happy flower, despite their association with mourning, and Emma always smiled when she saw them.

So far, each visit had gone without a hiccup. Until today.

When she approached Liam’s grave, there was already a huge bunch of bright, yellow chrysanthemums piled on top of the freshly weeded patch of grass in front of his headstone. The flowers were fresh, each petal tightly fixed in place, the crimped edges of each to tight to blow in the slight breeze. Emma frowned and looked around, but the graveyard was deserted, no other visitors catching her eye. She looked back to the flowers and noticed a card. Her brow knitted together in a quizzical expression as she knelt down and plucked it from the still tied bunch.

“Granny’s. 7pm.”

Emma’s breath left her and the hair on the back of her neck prickled to life, straining against her skin. It had been five years without a single word, but she would never forget the slightly italic, old world handwriting of Killian Jones.

In the time it had taken her to regain her composure she had returned back to the Nolans humble home and was greeted at the door by the enthusiastic Will. Will was almost five years old, not planned but not loved any less, and ran at her with an excited squeal as he called her name. His hair flopped over his eyes as her ran, feet pounding the hardwood floor of the hallway and almost jumped into her arms as she crouched to greet him.

“Mommy!” Will sang, leaping before he even reached her with utter faith that she would catch him.

“Hey lightning bug,” Emma chimed, setting him on her hip and brushing the lightly curled hair from his face. When she did, the blue of his eyes shone through his smile, his cheeks flushed and his words catching on his breath as he tried to tell her all about his day.

“We were playing pirates!” Will said, wide eyed and excited. “I was the Captain! And we walked the plank! And there were sharks if we fell into the lava!” He squeaked rapidly, his tiny lungs filling up between each sentence.

“Lava?” Emma quirked her brow, looked at him and trying to hide her smile. He nodded, a big grin on his face.

“But I didn’t fall in, did I?” Will almost arched his entire body towards the man approaching them, leaning out of Emma’s embrace with outstretched arms and a cocky grin on his face.

Graham was tall, broad and had the most amazing demeanour Emma had even known. She smiled as he walked towards them in jeans and a causal tee, his hair the same floppy brown style as Will’s and a warming smile that made her feel at ease. They even shared little habits. Will’s face when he was in trouble mirrored Graham’s when he was in her bad books and they both pulled the same face when they tried to bend the truth.

“No you did not, Captain,” Graham shook his head, saluting and going along with the boy’s story. “There was that time you pushed me in though,” he grunted, pulling Will into his arms.

“You said you wouldn’t tell!” Will gasped, giggling when Graham jabbed his fingers into his sides and wiggled them, instantly causing Will to almost bend in half and wriggle in his arms.

“So you had fun without me?” Emma asked softly, her heart swelling with joy as her son hit the ground running, calling out for Papa Nolan as he tore off along the hallway and ignored her question. Emma watched him go, only looked back to Graham as he rounded the corner and bounded out of sight, the Nolans cat fleeing under a nearby armchair just like she always had when they visited.

“Not intentionally,” Graham beamed, touching her elbow as he leaned forward and gave her a chaste kiss, his hand slipping down her forearm and gripping her fingers. “How was it?” He knew that she visited Liam every year and that she always had to do it alone. He just wished sometimes that she would let him in as much as the dead man.

Emma shrugged, her smile fading with the reminder. “The same. I talked, he listened,” she said sadly.

“Did you tell him everything?” Graham asked her, his features suddenly flashing with a sense of nervousness, his voice lowering slightly as he shot a glance over his shoulder. “About us?”

Emma looked up at him and slipped her hand from his. “I did,” she said solemnly and Graham offered her a weak twitch of a smile. “It won’t be long,” she promised him, flattening her hand to his cheek and rubbing her thumb over his skin there. “I promise.”

“I don’t like lying,” Graham whispered, leaning closer to her. “The Nolans are good people. I feel like a fraud.”

“You are not,” Emma told him firmly. “I am the one lying to myself, and you, and I promised, the day I found out I was pregnant, that I would never be that person again.” Despite his best efforts, Graham would never be the man Emma yearned for him to be and whilst she never regretted a single moment with him, and loved each and every memory they had made together as a family, she had vowed to never settle for enough.

She and Graham had spoken at great length about their imploding relationship and they had decided to part on good terms, share custody of Will and work at being the best parent figures they could be. They would always be there for him, in any capacity, but they also had another hurdle to leap. The Nolans. Emma’s adoptive parents loved Graham like a son and after so long they had almost adopted him as their own, so they both knew that telling them would crush them completely. They had agreed to both come home, visit family of all kinds and then tell everyone later on.

“It’s still hard, you know?” Graham told her in a hushed voice. “Pretending,” he clarified.

“I know,” she said apologetically. “But Will doesn’t know yet, and I haven’t told my parents,” Emma sighed. “I can almost hear Mamma Nolan’s voice now. “What did you do? He was a good man!” She imitated her adoptive mother’s voice so closely that Graham laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“I am a good man,” he grinned boyishly.

“Yes you are,” Emma told him firmly just like she had done a thousand times before. “It’s just…”

“I know,” Graham told her softly. “I understand, I really do. I’m just going to really miss Will, you know?”

“He’s not going anywhere,” Emma smiled reassuringly. “I would never keep him from you, you know that.”

“Thank you,” Graham just about had time to say out loud before said child came running through the house again, Papa Nolan in tow, a feather sticking from his silvery hair and a little plastic archery set in his hands dwarfed by his size.

“Indians!” Will yelled, a high pitched scream following as he tore past them and out the back door into the yard.

“Okay,” Emma laughed, watching her adoptive father sneak past them emitting his own high pitched noise and patting his palm over an open mouth. “You boys have fun!” Emma called after them.

“Are you going somewhere?” Graham frowned at her words and fiddled nervously with the belt loop of his jeans. Emma blushed a little, looking down at her feet before diving her hand into her pocket and pulling out the card. She looked at it one more time before handing it to Graham.

“This was on Liam’s grave,” she said gently. “For me.”

“Is this from him?” Graham said with a little too much resentment, the tone in his voice one he couldn’t hide. Emma had never lied to him about her past, any part of it, and she knew that one day this moment would come. They had both expected it a lot sooner. “Are you going?”

“I’ll be fine,” Emma reassured him quickly, taking the card from his hand before he set it on fire with his angry stare. She took his hand in hers and when he looked up at her she gave him a small smile. “It will be okay. He just wants to talk.”

Graham blinked at her with a twisted smirk. “How do you know that?”

“I know him,” Emma nodded firmly. “Tell Will I have gone to see Belle, okay?” She smiled quickly, checking her watch and realising that if she didn’t leave now she would be late for her impromptu meeting. When she looked back up, Graham’s face was etched with agony. “Words are all he has left. I have to go and talk to him.”

“Be careful,” Graham warned but his worries were extinguished when Emma cupped his face in her hands and kissed his cheek. “I worry.”

“Don’t.” Emma reached for the door behind her and pulled it open, mindful to be gone before Will came back through from the yard. “I’ll call Will at eight to say goodnight.”

When she reached Granny’s Diner, the hub of their hometown, far earlier than the card had invited her to meet, Killian was sitting in their usual little booth already. He was sitting browsing the menu, a fruitless task seeing as they had spent most of their teens memorizing the items word for word, but it seemed he welcomed the distraction. His leg bounced up and down under the table and he wiped at his brow, checking his watch every few seconds just in case it had decided to run slow.

He looked good from what Emma could see from the doorway, having snuck in behind another patron to avoid the ringing bell alerting him to her early presence. She felt like a stalker, watching him from the shadows of a doorside booth, staring at the back of his head as she worked up the courage to approach. He had cut his hair and shaved, leaving his trademark length of stubble that was a little more silver than she remembered now he was approaching his forties. The hair on his sideburns was more white than black now and a sparse peppering of black littering his hairline.

Emma wasn’t going to lie, he was hot. He had put on a little weight, his cheeks filled out when she saw his profile turn to check the clock above Granny’s bar area. Maybe it was the parent in her that found his new look so appealing, the classic dad style of his casual black sweater tight over his muscles making her swoon a little, or maybe it was just seeing him after five years telling her what she had always known.

Killian Jones was, and always would be, the man that made her tingle, set her skin ablaze with passion and she missed him like the deserts miss the rain. It was wrong, she knew that, but she couldn’t stop loving him, even after everything that had happened. After everything that was said, he still knew her better than she knew herself, and was the only man who could ever show her the light.

“Are you going to stare into the back of my head all night, Swan?” he called out to her over the almost deserted diner as he kept his gaze fixed on the menu in front of him. He smirked to himself when he heard her get up and make her way to him, the hot chocolate in front of him topped with cream and cinnamon. Emma slid into the booth opposite him, a fixed stare on her face as he slid the mug towards her.

Emma looked down at the beverage and reached for it instinctively. “How did you…”

“You were always early,” he interrupted her with a smirk. “I assume you still like hot chocolate with cinnamon on top?” He arched an eyebrow at her, his boyish smile sending a shiver straight to her gut.

“You look good,” Emma mentioned nonchalantly and took a sip of her cocoa, licking her lips and wiping the smudge of cream from her nose.

“So do you,” Killian smiled, ignoring the fact she had dodged his question. Maybe she didn’t want to make small talk and that was fine with him, because he just needed to hear her voice to know that she was okay, and when her cheeks flushed with pink at his words, he knew she was.

“How was work?” Emma watched him over the rim of her mug, the slightly cooled liquid level reduced enough from her sipping to be able to see him over the cream now. It was a loaded question and she knew it.

Killian took a sharp breath, not expecting her to dive straight in with the hard questions, but he gave her a genuine smile that finally felt natural. He lifted his hand and lightly scratched the skin behind his ear, a habit he had always had. “Work was good. Has been for about three years now,” he said softly, his fingers picking at the dog eared menu in front of him.

“And your colleagues?” Emma pushed, setting the mug back down in front of her. Maybe it was cruel to ask him such a question before other pleasantries but she needed to know that she hadn’t sacrificed her happiness for nothing.

Killian simply smiled and it was serene. “Gone,” he told her proudly. Killian had managed to get help and medication to quell the voices in his head and therapy had helped him understand how to deal with how he was feeling. The more he understood about why he had been on such a self destructive path, the less they said to him and the more they faded away into the background. “I’ve been off my meds for six months now. Certified as normal as can be.”

Emma coughed at a sip of her drink, almost spitting it back into the cup. “I bet you still stir your tea clockwise though,” she teased, her lips finally spreading into the kind of coy smirk he had missed so much.

“I do,” Killian blushed, his British accent somehow as prevalent as ever in those two words. His family has migrated for work, but both him and Liam has never lost the accent of their mother tongue. It had always fascinated Emma to no end how certain things that he had done whilst they were together were so quintessentially British, but above all else, the insistence that tea be stirred clockwise had sealed the notion that he was certifiably insane firmly in her mind forever.

“So normal,” she mocked once more like they had never been apart. A silence fell between them, the clinking of mugs from the washing up area not even enough of a distraction. Killian twisted his lips into a sideways pout and fiddled with the menu some more, crossing and uncrossing his legs under the table, mindful not to bump Emma’s knees. Emma looked around, taking in the decor of the diner that hadn’t changed in at least twenty years.

“Liam loved yellow chrysanths, you know,” Killian said suddenly, breaking the silence with a common ground. “He always said they reminded him of you.”

“The flowers?” Emma frowned at another of his Britishisms.

Killian chuckled lightly. “Yeah, the flowers,” he blushed.

“I bring them every year,” Emma told him, tilting her cup and noticing the mixture of melted cream and cinnamon powder lurking in the bottom. “But you know that.” She looked right at him, her fingers tracing the rim of her mug idly as she stared into the hue of his eyes. She had missed it, the darker circle around the blue that shone like the brightest sapphire when he was happy and was as dark as the depths of the ocean when he was aroused. He didn’t look away, holding her gaze unashamedly.

“I missed you the first year you came and the groundskeeper described someone who can have only been you, so the year after I came back.”

“You didn’t say anything,” Emma pried softly, prompting him to continue.

“I couldn’t,” Killian admitted shyly. “I was still such a mess, I just hid in the shadows after…” he paused, tongue darting out to moisten his lips.

“After?” Emma cocked her head to the side.

Killian let out a breath with exasperation. “Graham,” he said with a spiteful tone and Emma looked away. “I heard you talking about Graham and how happy you were and I was nowhere near mended. I couldn’t talk to you. I would have just made you regret coming back, and I would never do that to you. Liam meant as much to you as he did to me so I couldn't give you a reason to stop coming to visit him.”

“I would never…” Emma began but Killian interrupted her with a little more force than he intended.

“I would have probably said something I would have regretted, and it would have been selfish of me to put that sort of pressure on you,” he gulped, swallowing the distaste of compunction down his throat. “Again.”

“Oh, Killian,” Emma said softly, reaching across the table between them and clutching his hand in hers. He stilled at her touch, something he had missed like oxygen once it had been denied him for so long, and stared at their hands. His heart took off in his chest, banging against the curve of his ribcage and made the base of his spine tingle with delight. Emma offered him a comforting smile but he quickly tore his hand from hers.

Killian froze, palms flattened to the table in front of him as images of him assaulting Emma flickered behind his eyes. He pinched his eyes closed, his breathing becoming shallow, and tiny beads of sweat oozing from his brow. It was a panic attack, plain and simple, and he had encountered enough to know that it would pass, but he couldn’t help his bodies reaction to Emma’s touch. He felt like he didn’t deserve her compassion, in any form, and the tiniest touch had sent his body into an episode.

“Killian?” Emma asked mildly, confused by his sudden reaction. She had encountered her own fair share of attacks to know what he was going through and immediately moved around to sit at his side, shielding him from view of the other diner goers and laying her hand over his. “Killian, come back to me,” she whispered, her body pressed against his and her mouth so close to his ear that her voice was all he could hear. “Shhh, breathe.”

Her voice was faint but Killian heard her as clear as day through the fog in his mind. He felt the warmth of her hands on his, the softness of her lips against his ear and her breath on his neck, and a relief washed over him immediately, his lungs filling with cool air as he deepened his breathing the way his therapist had instructed. When he was finally able to move, Killian clutched her fingers, lacing them with his as he resumed his steadying breaths. Emma rubbed her thumb over his, watching the profile of his face as his brow relaxed and he peeled his eyes open once more.

“I’m sorry,” Killian whimpered, his body relaxing back in the seat.

“Don’t apologize,” Emma said firmly. “You are still clearly working through some things.”

“Just one,” Killian laughed nervously, the adrenaline from his attack making him shake a little. He turned to her and swallowed hard, looking down at the rip in the green leather between them. “Would you…” he began, fidgeting.

“Go on,” Emma nudged him with her elbow and he looked up at her shyly.

“Part of the...process...is asking for forgiveness,” he began, finally looking up to meet her gaze. “And I know I don’t deserve it, and I don’t want you to feel like you owe me a single thing, not after what I did to you…”

“Killian,” Emma stopped him, grabbing his forearm and flattening her palm to his cheek. He gasped at her touch again but this time he felt a warming calm flood over his entire body, the anxiety chased away by a new kind of light that he had never seen or felt before. It was heavenly.

“Hmm?” he grunted sheepishly.

“I forgive you,” Emma smiled warmly. Her thumb brushed the apple of his cheek and his lips twitched, mirroring her smile back. “I forgave you a long time ago,” she repeated, sliding her hand behind his head and pulling his head towards her until their foreheads touched. It was as intimate as they had ever been, honest and raw and Killian’s hand flew up to cup her cheek in his hand. He felt Emma relax, his anticipation of her fleeing long gone.

A single tear rolled down his cheek and his eyes fluttered closed. “Thank you,” he whispered and he meant it with all his heart.

One Month Later

Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to this. Maybe there was some divinity to the whole process, but it wasn’t just Killian who had been addicted, and when he had asked her if she wanted to go to a meeting with him, she had said yes. Graham had returned to New York, leaving Emma and Will another month at the Nolans, but tomorrow they were flying home and the thought of not being able to say goodbye because Killian had gone to a meeting was selfish. So Emma had agreed to go with him when he had suggested it, both of them knowing it was going to be some of the last moments they would spend together for a while.

The room was just like her own meetings, a church hall rented out to the organisers for a small donation that probably wouldn’t go very far. It wasn’t a sit in a circle type meeting because everyone in this one was a veteran addict, mostly around the same age who had all fallen into some sort of crisis. For some it was drugs, for most it was alcohol and as they skimmed over their introductions, Emma felt like she might have been the only person there addicted to sex.

As she had explained a thousand times before in her story that it wasn’t about the act itself. It was always about finding the numbness of climax, the light beyond the shadows, where she had felt safe and free. But as everyone in front of her nodded in agreement with her statements like a faithful congregation, she couldn’t help but feel Killian’s eyes transfixed onto her and burning into her flesh. Meetings were a place of brutal honesty and she never divulged his name, but that didn’t stop the tuts and head shakes of disgust.

If only they knew the villain of her story was sitting within their flock, a wolf amongst lambs. Emma wondered how they would have reacted to realise that their judgement was actually hypocrisy, and the very same repugnant responses to Killian’s story were about her and how she had dragged him into the light with her. She was happy now, and Killian’s smile told her he was too. But then Emma mentioned she had a son, the new light in her life, a welcomed addiction that she never wanted to quit, and the whole room smiled with her.

Except for Killian. His face paled and he shifted in his seat, the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallowed almost audible. As she caught his eye, the anguish plastered across his face at the new knowledge that Graham had given her yet another thing he never could, she knew she had given him hope and then snatched it away again, but there were no secrets at these things. And it was something that she couldn’t hide anymore.

“A son?” Killian said from behind her as she wrinkled her nose at the pitiful array of donuts on offer. The coffee was bad enough, but why they insisted on plain, unsugared rings of dough was beyond her.

“Are we all addicted to sugar too?” She scoffed, poking one of the offending treats and avoiding his question entirely.

“We can’t have nice things,” Killian laughed, wrapping his fingers around the coffee cup in his hands.

“Clearly,” Emma frowned, selecting the biggest donut from the half empty box. It was cold, heavy and when she bit into it, there was no familiar crunch of sugar on her teeth or dusting on her lips, but she licked at them anyway.

“How is it?” Killian teased, sipping his coffee and trying to hide his smirk.

“You know it's disgusting,” Emma said quietly and grabbed a napkin to spit the almost undercooked dough into. It was bland, tasted like flour and water on her tongue and she had to get rid of it immediately, wiping the napkin down her tongue, balling it up in another and tossing it into the provided trash can next to the table.

“Try the coffee,” Killian suggested with a restrained chuckle. “It’s...just as bad,” he sighed.

“Thanks,” Emma retorted sarcastically.

“So, a son? Why didn’t you tell me?” Killian asked softly, his words genuinely intrigued and not laced with the anger Emma had expected. She finally looked up at him and he smiled back at her, head tilted to the side and an expectant look in his eyes.

“I didn’t know how to?” Emma asked, questioning her own words.

“I mean, I have no right to expect anything from you,” Killian clarified quickly when he sensed he had made her a little uneasy. “Least of all to wait for me.”

“You wanted me to wait for you?” Emma asked gently.

“Selfishly, yes, at first,” Killian revealed with a nod. “But then I realised that you were right. I needed to mend, we both did, and our grief for Liam was something we had to do alone.”

“Becoming a mother changed me overnight,” Emma said with a happy grin. “He’s amazing and I followed the path laid out in front of me because of him.”

Killian shifted his weight, inhaling hard and peering down into his half filled coffee cup. “Do you think…” Killian paused, eyebrows knitting together on his face. “...In another life, you would have waited?” He asked awkwardly.

Emma paused, her cheeks prickling with the heat of a blush.

“Never mind,” Killian shook his head, dismissing his words. “It’s selfish of me to ask that.”

“In another life,” Emma said firmly, sucking in a shaking breath. She reached between them, brushing her fingers over his, the most intimate they could be in a public meeting that discouraged relationships between attendees. Killian watched her fingers with a stilled breath, his entire body buzzing, his skin tightening over his bones and his mouth going dry. “Maybe in this one.”

Killian’s head snapped up to meet her gaze, the tears behind his eyes threatening to soothe the sting along his eyelids. His eyes searched hers, flickering over the leafy green hues that were accented by the crinkles in her skin at their corners from her soft smile. He didn’t know what to say, struck silent with her admission that could mean any one of a thousand things. The one he hoped for lingered on the tip of his tongue, ready to ask her for another chance, but the sobriety chip in his pocket burned into his skin through the cotton and told him he didn’t deserve her.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Emma asked gently, rousing him from his thoughts. “I know a place that serves real donuts,” she joked, shooting one last disgusted look at the flimsy white box beside her. “And coffee,” she said quickly. “Real coffee,” she hummed, almost able to taste the smoothness of citrus notes on her tongue.

Killian grinned at her, a boyish, wide open mouthed grin that was accompanied with a sound from his throat like laughter. “Alright,” he agreed, tossing his coffee into the trash. “Let’s get out of here.”

The roadside diner was just outside of town, away from the familiar prying eyes they never could seem to escape by coming home. It was nice to see everyone, but sometimes they were just too invested in other people’s lives and Emma had discovered this diner as a means of escape. It was close enough that if she got called back for Will she was near but far enough out that she felt separated from the constant questions and stares. And they served donuts to die for.

It was like any other diner, like they were all set out in a generic way that made Emma think they were all owned by a single person. The countertop was black marble and even so late in the day it consistently clinked with the contact of plate after plate as orders flooded out of the kitchen. The floor was a green tile, speckled with white and with an orange pattern in the center that resembled a color blindness test card, and was polished so much Emma could see her reflection. The walls were the same shade of green and the leatherette sofas in the booths and on the bar stools matched the orange tone of the floor pattern, two huge ceiling fans whirling around above the walkway to keep the place cooled.

Spotlights lit the bar area, a constant drip of coffee from the machine next to the cash register cathartic to watch. Emma had spent many hours on one of these stools, timing the drips of coffee in her mind and awaiting a refill from the server as she contemplated her life. Graham had come into her life in a moment of great need, but he had been different from Killian, and she had warmed up to him as a friend before anything else. She tested him, made sure that she was what he wanted, and gave him the chance to escape on more than one occasion, but he had stayed, resolute and steadfast when she had tried to push him away.

“Just go. I can’t give you what you want.”

“I just want you. All of you.”

“How am I ever going to be enough? You know what I am about, what I have been through. How can you expect to love me when I can’t love you back?”

“I’ll take my chances.”

In a way, Emma regretted letting him stay. She had been nothing but honest, telling him that he was never going to be the man that she loved, and for that she was sorry. She didn’t regret their relationship, because it was built on a mutual respect, and he did love her, but it wasn’t fair that she let him carry the weight of their relationship alone. It had taken him nearly five years of never hearing her say ‘I love you’ before Graham had finally snapped, deciding that she was right and he couldn’t pretend anymore.

They hadn’t fought, not in front of Will anyway, and were separating on good terms. They had agreed that he would go home to New York ahead of her and Will, packing up his stuff and moving out of their house and their lives. They would explain things to Will another time, but they both had faith that he would be okay with it as much as they were, and they would both still love him just the same. Now that Graham was officially moved out, Emma felt like she could breathe again, a strange sensation that she hadn’t felt since leaving Killian, but one that she had missed every single day.

They sat down to order, sitting opposite each other in one of the way back booths so they could talk a bit more privately. Killian looked around the diner as they sat, taking in the photographs of local heroes and aged newspaper clippings that were framed on every available wall surface. Clearly the place saw a lot of celebrities and the owner seemed to be a little bit of a cinephile, old movie posters and signed memorabilia scattered all around the place.

“You come here a lot?” Killian asked Emma as a waitress took their order of two coffees.

“Sometimes I come here to think,” Emma shrugged, arching her back into the leather bench and letting out a groan.

It hadn’t escaped Killian’s notice that the waiting staff knew her by name and they knew how she took her coffee too. “Sometimes?” He quipped, arching his eyebrow at her.

“Okay, so I think a lot,” Emma grinned, glaring at him playfully.

“About Graham?” Killian prompted selfishly. He hated the man, his name on his tongue like a poison in his mouth, but he respected that Emma was satisfied.

“Sometimes,” she whispered noncommittally.

“Does he make you happy?” Kilian couldn't stop the words as they fell from his lips, screwing his face up and expecting an earful of abuse for his cheek. Emma looked up at him aghast and he quickly shook off the feeling of dread he had because he had to know. “It’s all I have ever wanted for you, Swan.”

“He did,” Emma stared into his eyes, readying herself for her confession. “We are seperated.” Killian frowned, confusion etched across his face. He knew she had come to their hometown with Graham, but it did explain how she had managed to get away to meet with him so often in the last eight weeks. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m sorry,” he lied.

“Liar,” Emma smirked. “It’s okay, really. You know you have to be happy to move on, and I was for a time. Now I am not. It’s really that simple.” Emma shrugged a sigh and brushed a stray hair from her face, letting the rest tumble over her shoulders. She had decided to wear her hair down for the meeting, maybe subconsciously because she knew Killian had always liked it that way, which was confirmed when his eye flickered to watch her hand toy with the golden tresses.

“As long as you are okay,” he smiled warmly. “So why New York?” Killian asked her, changing the subject to something he had always wondered. New York wasn’t a million miles away, so he knew she wasn’t running away from anything, and it always left the door open for him to visit, something he had resisted for so long.

“Who said I lived in New York?” Emma narrowed her gaze at him, wondering if she had inadvertently mentioned something in the meeting. She didn’t remember telling him, or even letting it slip over Liam’s grave, but then she was hit with a realisation that made her sigh and Killian laugh.

“Will,” she said with a groan.

“Will fucking Scarlett,” Killian said with a nod. “Can’t keep his mouth shut that lad. Never could,” he laughed.

“And what were you doing in Will’s bar, huh?” Emma accused, thanking the small, blonde haired waitress who had poured their coffees.

“Drinking water,” Killian told her with a knowing look. “Which is boring, by the way.”

Emma giggled, reaching for her mug. The coffee was boiling hot, the ceramic burning her fingers as she pulled it towards her without a visible wince of pain. “But I bet your breath smells fresher,” she mocked.

“Indeed,” Killian blushed a little, lifting his coffee to his lips.

“New York was just somewhere I could be nobody for a while,” Emma admitted. “I needed to heal as much as you but I suppose, if I am being honest with myself, I didn’t want to move too far away. I couldn’t...” She looked down into her lap. Honesty was the best policy, or so they said. “I needed to still be close to you.”

She looked up at her admission and Killian felt the pang of guilt in his heart. “Because of...you know?” He asked gently, not wanting to mention her dependency too much. It was good to talk about things, they had both learned that the hard way, but old wounds didn’t need to be reopened unnecessarily. Emma was an addict too, and he was her drug of choice. She nodded sadly. “And now?” He pushed, watching her shift in the seat.

“Now I just…” Emma lost her words, sitting forward in the booth and pushing her arms across the table until their fingers were almost touching. She could swear there were sparks between them when Killian didn’t move away but instead mirrored her movements and sat forward in his own seat, the leather groaning under his weight.

“I can’t stop thinking about you either,” Killian finished for her, reading her mind and almost whispering the words. He pushed his coffee mug aside with the back of his hand and reached for hers, sliding it out of their way. He bunched her hands up in his, lifting them to his lips and planting a soft kiss to the back of her knuckles, letting his lips linger as he inhaled her scent.

“I shouldn’t,” Emma told herself out loud but her words didn’t match her actions when she kept her hands exactly where they were, savouring the feel of his mouth of her skin after so long. She felt a tickle in her stomach, the dropping sensation followed by a welcome feeling of delight that was so familiar and yet different. It wasn’t like before, when they were both slaves to each other’s mercy.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” Killian began, but as he tried to pull his hands away, Emma stopped him, fingernails digging into his flesh that made him stare in her direction dumbfounded. Her face had changed, softness appearing around her eyes as the barriers she was holding up melted away and there was something else behind her eyes that he had never seen before. It was understanding and unselfishness and before he had time to ask her what it meant, Emma was pushing herself to her feet, grabbing his soft, woolen sweater and pulling him to her across the wooden surface of the table.

Her lips crashed into his and Killian’s mind exploded, eyebrows jumping up his face with surprise and his entire body paralyzed to respond. She paused, her lips on his, waiting for him to react, the grip loosening on the material of his sweater when she thought he wouldn’t, but when she heard the soft moan come from way down deep in his chest, she smirked coyly against his mouth and slid her tongue over his lips as they parted.

“Come to New York,” she whispered, their noses pressed side by side, her hand jumping to trace the silver of his sideburn with a single finger. Her eyes fluttered open and met his, the longing reflected in both of their stares.

There was nothing Killian could do but nod, a steady bob of his head that earned him another chaste kiss. Emma knew it wouldn’t be easy, they would have to contend with a long distance thing for a while, but she had faith they could make it work. There was just one more tiny detail she had to iron out, but that would have to wait until she was home.

#cs au #hurt/comfort #the paradox of light #tpol #icymi

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