#he even took it like a champ bro

[assmaster-8000]

the way some people speak about toshiro is disgusting. egregious ableism and racism aside yall don't even bother to call him toshiro rather than shuro like damn bitch ticking all da damn boxes

[temis-de-leon]

Day 19 - Missing a kiss

Characters: Belphegor x gn!MC

25 kisses challenge Masterlist

Main Masterlist

CW: Belphie being a smitten petty brat, established relationship

.

If Belphie hated one thing about MC, it was all the times they called him dude; or worse, bro. He wasn’t their dude or their bro, he was their boyfriend. And he would appreciate being called as such. Sweetheart? Bring it on. Honey? Sounds good to him. Baby? His favourite. Dude? Absolutely fucking not. Bro? Did MC want to get the silent treatment? And buddy? What did they think he was? Their dog?

He hated it, despised it, and they thought it was so funny, soon moving on to more platonic nicknames like bestie, pal and, the worst of all, champ.

CHAMP?

“Love you so much, dude” they would say while kissing him in the darkness of the attic.

“Miss you, bro” they would message him when they took separate classes.

“How’s my bestie doing?” they would ask after waking him up from a long nap on the floor.

It was heinous, worth of every ounce of his pettiness towards them. Fortunately, MC knew it was nothing extremely serious or something to actually worry about, but still.

Absolutely foul.

The situation reached a point where Belphie ultimately decided to give his beloved MC the cold shoulder. His need of keeping them close and touching them even in the smallest of ways made everything difficult, and he still needed to at least hold their hand throughout the day, but he was determined to get his point across.

So he did.

Looking the other way whenever MC talked to him and observing every bit of their features the moment they turned away, not reciprocating their hugs and discretely grabbing their, his, sweatshirt to not get left behind, laying on their lap only when he was sure they were already asleep.

And so on.

Finally, not even a full week after his shenanigans, Belphie found himself hidden under the blankets of MC’s bed, frowning when they uncovered him with a knowing and amused smile. They didn’t waste any time in joining him and soon his relief at being next to them became obvious.

MC laughed and he could feel himself blushing in response.

“Are you done being mad at me?” they asked in a mocking tone.

“I’m not mad at you”

“Sure”

“I’m not”

They laughed again, irking him, and quickly launched at him before he could turn his back on them. Belphie hugged them back on instinct and then couldn’t find the will to push them back, keeping MC close to his chest instead and letting his irrational irritation disappear in a matter of seconds.

“Are you done now?”

“Yeah, I guess I am”

Belphie felt an immediately sense of embarrassment filling his body, reddening his cheeks even more and making him hide his face in MC’s clothes so they wouldn’t see him.

Just when he was hoping they’d both fall asleep surrounded by warmth and the familiar smell of their combined scents, MC lightly shook him and talked in tender whispers.

“Tell me what happened” they pleaded. “Is it because I call you bestie? But you’re my bestie!”

“I’m your boyfriend!” he answered in a stern tone.

“You’re my boyfriend and my best friend”

The clarification made his heart flutter, but he was still irritated.

He slowly started to feel light ticklish touches across his face, the intimate caress of MC’s lips marking his skin and making him shiver. From his closed eyelids to his cheekbones, up his temple and down his nose, barely touching the corner of his lips before playfully biting his jaw and letting him go.

“Kiss me” he demanded, causing their smile.

“I already did”

“Not where I want you to”

“Oh?”

MC leaned on their elbows, looking at him from above with hilarity. He was blushing, again embarrassed, but the ghost of their kiss on his lips made him impatient.

“And where does my baby want me to kiss him?”

He avoided their gaze, feeling his face getting warmer.

“My absolute favourite demon? The love of my life?”

“Okay, stop”

“Where do you want me to kiss you, Belphegor?”

His breathing stopped, unable to even hear their heartbeat over his own.

“My Belphie”

They slowly closed the distance between them, eyes fixated on his lips, and just when he thought he would finally have a taste of what he was craving the most, MC raised their trajectory just a little and merrily kissed his cupid’s bow.

He immediately and deeply frowned, again making them laugh, but the sound quickly died when he threw himself at them and locked their lips together.

It brought peace to his mind and it made them sigh in delight and he’d make sure it wouldn’t stop until very early in the morning.

.

.

Taglist: @ourfinalisation  @owlisbuffering  @chizukimp4  @ravenredwine @darkflowerav  @craftysclown @mehkers

[revluvzen]

[❤️‍🔥💪] "𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱?" [💪❤️‍🔥]

top!Lucas/Wong Yukhei x bottom!male reader

---

WC: 2,4

Genre: Smut. MINORS DNI

Tags: Lucas is a college heartrob, Lucas looks like out of FraternityX, college classmates, friends-to-lovers / fwb, blowjob, "bro" to "slut" but still "bro", low-key rough sex (deepthroat, throat fucking), car sex, semi public sex, tricking into sex.

All individuals consent.

Enjoy!

---

Lucas is your hot, stereotypically jock classmate on some of your college classes. It's simply unavoidable falling in love with him. Every day since your classes started, he comes talk to you, his "bro", always with that cute goofy smile.

Today's one of those regular class days. Lucas is looking very handsome today, as usual. Black hoodie, gray sweatpants, and running shoes. Typical attire for him. "Hey, bro!", you greet him, him taking out his Airpods to get ready to chat with you, sitting next to you in the classroom. "Ayo! Wassup", he asked, his goofy smile charming you. "Ahh, just ready for another boring class". "Same here...", Lucas replied.

Class started, and you just can't avoid staring at Lucas often, just like you do every single class. He looks so hot, chewing gum, checking on his phone because he's getting tired of the class... taking the minimum notes he could take of whatever the professor is talking about. He's so tall, so sexy... His tan skin, full lips, sharp jawline, those big eyes... you just can't believe such a handsome guy is your friend. Could that change?

Class finished. Such a good day so far, you guys talked a lot in the break, having some good laughs with your friends. Time to go home now. Lucas had an out of usual proposal today. "Yo, uhm, I brought the car today, and I need to drive towards your place direction. I can offer you a ride, wanna hop in?", he asked, goofily smirking like always.

"Ohh, sure, thanks mate", you replied, excited. What better to spend some time with your friend at his car? This is new for you, he usually just drives towards the other direction, and you have to take the bus. You both leave the building and go to the campus' parking lot, where you see Lucas' car. "Here we go, hop in champ", he said, giggling. You replied with a smile, opened the door and got on the co-pilot seat, then closing the door. Lucas got on the driver's seat, and closed his door

Surprisingly, he didn't start the engine. You took some long seconds to realise, as you were checking your phone for a bit. When you turn your head to look at him, he's smirking at you. "What happens?" you ask, nervously smiling. "You think I don't notice when you look at me in class?", he asks, pressing the button to lock the doors. "W-What do you mean?", you ask, a bit shyly as you acknowledge the fact you do check on him often.

"You like me. You're in love with me, don't you?", he keeps asking. You don't answer anything, looking down. "Don't be shy... you can tell me. I won't judge you. I'm into boys sometimes as well. Don't be afraid", he kept telling you.

"Y-Yeah, I guess I do... I like you...", you answer. "Right...", Lucas sighs, nodding. He then suddenly grabs you by your nape, pulling you into a short kiss. His big lips smooches yours, so quick you can't even get to close your eyes. "W-What~", you stutter, before staring at Lucas for a second and then going back kissing him, this time making out already.

Lucas guided all the kiss, first softly biting your lips and then starting to pu his tongue into your mouth, to which you reply by doing the same. Your tongues dance inside of each other's mouth. "Mgmgh~", you moan inside of Lucas mouth, loving each part of it. You just can't believe you're kissing your crush and friend... and it's as good as you expected it.

You guys keep making out for long minutes, Lucas way of kissing getting a bit more aggressive and horny, starting to bite a bit more rougher your lips and putting his tongue deep into your mouth, making you moan quietly and squirm.

Lucas stops kissing you but keeps his face very close to you. "Y/N", he says, with his characteristic deep voice, staring at you with his big handsome eyes. You stare at him and reply: "W-What... did I do something wro-".

"Have you ever had sex?", Lucas said, interrupting you. Shivers run through your body when you heard that. Is what you've been waiting for ages finally going to happen? You get a bit shocked but find some breath to reply. "N-No, Y-Yukhei...", you reply. awaiting for Lucas reaction.

"Let's see if we can fix that...", Lucas said, smirking and starting to caress near your crotch. Right afterwards, he goes back on making out with you. You also caress his thighs, but get a bit more daring. You try putting a hand over his crotch, and you notice that Lucas' bulge is getting rock hard.

One of Lucas hands starts caressing your butt, to which you let him do because you're liking it. You start feeling the passion of the moment in your chest, a sentiment of euphoria bubbling inside of you. You start grabbing and kneading Lucas's bulge, loving how hard it's getting. You feel Lucas low groans inside of your mouth while you two keep on making out passionately.

At some point Lucas pulled out again, and stared at you just like he did previously. He whispered lower this time. "Y/N... Come over and suck me off... would you like to?", he said, outspoken like the bad boy he is. You had to get daring to reply to such proposal, thinking about how you're about to lose your virginity to your hot friend...

...specially when you two are in a car in the campus parking lot. "L-Lucas, what if someone sees tho...", you say, looking around. It's true that there's not people around currently, but you can see people walking far away. "Don't worry, Y/N... If you kneel in front of me, no one will see. The windows are high enough and the pedals are behind enough for someone to fit", he said, sounding strangely logical. "Have you done this before...", you asked suspiciously. "Uhm do you want to have sex or not-", he says, wanting you to ignore that. "Y-Yes, sorry", you reply, nervously smirking.

You get over the controls of the car and go knee in front of Lucas. He was right, your feet barely touch the pedals and head ends up right below of the windows. Lucas put a tiny pillow on the floor so your knees don't hurt. "Thanks...", you sigh. "No worries. Now, unzip it...", he says, staring at you from above. Fuck, he looks so hot like that. Legs spreaded, his big bulge showing, and his handsome face sexily staring at you from above. You're so thrilled...

You unzip Lucas pants, and lower his boxers just enough so his dick sticks out. You're shocked despite it being just like you expected it... A 23cm thick cock, veiny and tan like his body, trimmed pubes and slightly curved. You do a hard swallow when you see it, wondering how you'll make it to suck it all. "B-Bro, you're very... like... hung like a horse, d-damn...", you say, your voice trembling a bit. Lucas giggled quietly. "That's what everyone says", he jokes. "You can go at your own pace, don't worry".

You grab Lucas cock. It's very warm and soft. You can't lie, it looks tasty as fuck... You stroke it a bit to get it as hard as it can. It's the first time you touch a dick that's not your own... it feels so good already. "You can start licking it", Lucas suggests, to which you finally do. You put your tongue in the cock's tip and start swirling it around, then going up and down licking all his shaft as if it were a lollipop, making sure to get it wet with your saliva.

You then slowly take Lucas cock in your mouth, almost halfway through. It tastes so good indeed, you already have an obsession for it. You suck it happily, but kind of concerned about how will you do to take the bottom half of the cock if Lucas asks you to deepthroat him.

Lucas moans in pleasure, enjoying how good you are sucking him. "That's it, fuck... Keep sucking it...", he groaned. You kept sucking it good, your lips fully kissing and taking Lucas' big cock, tasting all his flavourful flesh. You slapped this tip on your tongue, trying to give him such a good blowjob.

You kept sucking his dick, up and down and swirling your tongue in it. "Do you like it, Y/N?", he asked, sexily. "Y-Yeah... I'm loving it...", you said, jerking him off for a second and then going back sucking him. "So fucking good... You're almost like a natural cocksucker... Woah... You're doing it amazingly... Look at me while you suck me", he ordered. Being called a cocksucker really turned you on, you complied with him and stared at him while keeping on sucking his big dick. "Just like that, yeah~", he groaned.

You can hear the voices of some students nearby. They are probably gonna get on their cars. You stop sucking him just in case they're close enough they can see. Lucas didn't agree tho. He grabbed you by your nape and forced you back on his cock, now making you suck him even deeper than before. "Don't worry, they aren't close enough, they won't see anything. Keep sucking, fuck", he said, enjoying it so much.

"Damn, from all the sluts I've gotten in here, you're the one of the better ones already...", Lucas sexily groaned, looking at your eyes. Despite you being his friend, it looks like he now can't stop seeing you as one of his fuckmates. It didn't help that, the moment he called you a slut, you just started taking his dick even deeper into your mouth, almost taking it entirely. "Fuck, fuck, just like that, yeah~", he said, while you jerked off the base of his dick.

Lucas started thrusting slowly upwards, now fucking your mouth. Your gag reflex activated, some saliva starting to leak out of your mouth. Nevertheless, you got used to it, and were able to take his thrusts. Lucas dick feels so fucking good inside of your mouth, you just don't want to ever leave from his dick. You're addicted. And he loves it as much as well.

"F-Fuck, if I knew you were this good sucking cock I'd have taken you here earlier, fuck", Lucas said, grateful of having tricked you into getting into his car planning to fuck you good already. "Now I'm gonna push your head so you take it all inside okay? Take a deep breath, bro", Lucas said and you nodded. He grabbed you by your hair and pushed your head deep into his cock, making you deepthroat his 23cm dick all inside of your mouth. You start gagging, some tiny tears coming out of your eyes as it was too much to take.

"You like it, don't you? Huh? Tell me, come on bro, fucking tell me", he groaned, thrusting upwards while you deepthroated him. You obviously couldn't answer; yet, you tried. "MgmghMGGH-", was all you could say. Honestly it wasn't a surprise to you that Lucas liked it rough... you actually liked it as well. You loved how such big cock tasted in your mouth, it was all you've been longing for so much time, having your friend's dick all inside of you.

Lucas let you take off his dick out of your mouth, letting you breath. You kept stroking him off while you heavily exhaled. You looked at him and smiled, letting him know how much you're loving it. Then, you went suck his cock again, now sucking it up and down thoroughly.

Both Lucas and you got very euphoric. The car got filled with dirty sounds such as your sloppy noises and moans and Lucas groans and dirty talking. You love your friend's dick so much you just can't stop sucking it, and that's having an effect on Lucas. His dick started throbbing, and you could feel that in your mouth.

"F-Fuck, I'm gonna fucking come, you bitch, fuck, I can't believe how of a fucking good cocksucker you're~ keep taking all my dick, bro, come on", he said, thrusting upwards while you sucked him good. You can feel the tip of his dick in the back of your throat, tasting his flesh, and his bitter precum flavoring all your mouth.

"I don't like cleaning my car, you better swallow it, okay?", he said, his voice breaking as his groans got louder. Let's hope there's no one around. Even if you're well hidden, Lucas dirty talking couldn't avoid getting loud and noticeable. You nodded happily to what Lucas said, sucking his dick so good and awaiting for his cream.

Lucas finally came inside of your mouth. Fuck, it's a fucking lot of cum. Warm, thick, plentiful and bitter cream spurted inside of your mouth, some directly getting down your throat, while his throbbing dick is still inside. You start swallowing, the closing and opening motions of your throat satisfying Lucas so much it even milks his until the very last drop.

You swallow most of his cum, leaving some in your tongue. Lucas takes his dick out of your mouth, and leaves it over your face. You can feel the whole weight of his fat long dick all across of your face. "Show me your tongue, now", he ordered, smirking, to which you showed him your tongue with some remains of cum still there. "Fuck, I never thought I'd finally see my friend taking all my cum like that. Call this a friendship strengthening pact", he giggled, goofy as ever. "Now seriously, I wish this happened earlier. You're such a good fucking fuckmate, gosh, I never expected you to be this good at sucking dick", he softly and sexily whispered, keeping on with the sexy atmosphere. "And I never expected your dick to feel this good, I loved it, Yukhei...", you whispered.

Lucas leaned over to kiss you, you both swapping saliva and his own cum in a passionate and sloppy kiss. You both make out for a long while. Everything is different now. You're not a virgin anymore, you lost your virginity to the your friend you've been attracted to for so long... And your friendship is not going to ever be the same. It's just going to get better from now on.

Lucas pulls out, a string of saliva mixed with cum falling in between you both. "You haven't come yet, did you?", he asked sexily. "N-No, I haven't...", you replied. "It's not a good first time until you get to cum, bro", he said, softly smacking your butt...

Part 2?

[sheyfu]

heyy pookie wookie with extra dookie <333 s-s-sae head cannons…. when he’s sick pretty please *pleading face*

HELLOOOO OMG IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPOMSE 😭😭😭 HMMM OKI

• no shot bro would literally straight up reject u and be all emo and mighty and shit

• he's like 'i dont need your help this is nothing' then proceeds to fold bc of a migraine (FOLDED)

• so now youre here in your shared room as you wipe his forehead with a cold towel, occasionally wiping his body as a way to cool him off

• he keeps on grumbling and muttering words but you dont understand him as his words come out in whispers

• and as you leave him to get his meds and a very hot bowl of soup (when faced with a virus, vengeance is the safest way to victory 😈😈), he grabs your arm and drags you to bed with him, trapping you in his arms. even with your complaints, he still wouldn't let you go so you sucked it up and took it like a champ, sulking as you're probably going to get absolutely devoured by the virus

• well at least he was in tiptop shape two days after. cant say the same for you tho lmaooo

HELP IM SO SORRY THIS TURNED INTO LIKE A KINDA FIC TOWARDS THE END 😭😭😭 i dont know how to do hcs so erm 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ I GOPE U STILL ENJOYED THO WHEHEHEE

© misaemores on tumblr

[bby-blu-swirll]

" i know that you got daddy issues, and i do too " - todoroki x reader

it's not a song fic i just have a really messed up relationship with my dad lol - i don't have a lot of direction for this, it's just a little lazy & venty,, we'll see where it goes ♡

it was one of those nights where 1-a was all tired from the long school week, but not enough to fall asleep. they happened every once in a while, and always resulted in the majority of the class hanging out together in the common area doing whatever together until they all crashed for the evening.

the open downstairs was filled with the sound of idle conversation and super smash bros, but most of everyone's attention on the ladder. it started with just the bakusquad, but once katsuki ran undefeated, almost everyone else in the class took it upon themselves to try and overthrow the king. so far, nobody was successful. ururaka came close, but to no avail. she took the defeat like a champ, though.

while most everyone huddled around the tv, yelling things like "KICK HIS ASS" and "SHUT UP YOU BASTARD I'M TRYING TO FOCUS" (yeah), there were a few who had strayed from the pack. tokoyami and shoji were over by the dining tables playing a game of chess, and kouda was reading a book on a couch off to the side, using his classmates as white noise.

and then there was you.

you were settled on top of the kitchen island, legs crossed, with one earbud in. it wasn't that you didn't want to be around your friends, you had grown slightly overstimulated and needed a moment to recollect your thoughts.

you rolled a lollipop of your favorite flavor around in your mouth, absentmindedly scrolling through pinterest. your mind was on anything but aesthetically pleasing pictures, brows furrowed as your thoughts wandered back to your family. you sighed and squeezed your phone for a moment before turning it off and setting it down next to you. you just needed to distract yourself. something more.

in that moment, one of your classmates strolled into the kitchen. you looked up at todoroki, who was holding an empty mug.

"hey," he smiled at you softly as he made his way over to the stove. "what are you still doing in here?"

"ah, iida hasn't noticed me sitting on the countertop yet." you chuckled at your own joke, feeling the smallest butterflies when he grinned back at you. "what about you?"

"just getting a refill." he said, picking up the kettle of tea momo had put on earlier (omg.) and filling his mug. "and checking on you."

"oh-" you looked up at him in surprise, cocking your head to the side slightly. "really? for why?"

"you didn't look like you were doing too well earlier." he said bluntly, leaning against the counter facing you and taking a sip of his drink.

"ah... yeah," you looked away and laughed awkwardly, playing with your rings.

"are you?"

"am i what?"

when you turned to look back at him, his expression had changed. less neutral, more... worried. compassionate.

"are you not doing well?"

you opened your mouth to say something. "i'm fine, thank you though!" was was you had always answered with. you were tired, or you were just zoning out, anything but not okay. yet the way he looked at you made you hesitate. saying you were doing just fine was so second nature, but it was almost hard to lie to him.

before you could actually answer, your phone started to buzz softly. you both turned your attention to it, reading the name in the caller id line.

"dad"

you bit your lip and furrowed your brow. it continued to vibrate in your hand a few more times, before you declined the call. you quickly set your phone down and looked straight ahead. you have no idea why, but your eyes began to water. you took a shaky deep breath, and made an attempt to spell out your thoughts, something you learned earlier in life to help keep from crying.

"y/n..." todoroki set down his mug and took a step towards you, carefully.

"hmm?" your voice was tight as you avoided eye contact, trying to keep from blinking, afraid it would push a tear out.

you took on last deep breath and spelled out one last phrase, before you felt your eyes finally dry. you sighed and put your lollipop back in your mouth, facing him with a smile like nothing had happened.

"i see."

you cocked your head to the side in confusion, watching as he pulled himself up onto the counter and sitting across from you. you pulled your knees to your chest and rested your chin atop them. he noted your look of curiosity and held out a hand to you. you hesitated for a moment before carefully placing your fingers to his palm. he shifted until he was sitting close, holding your hand in his, tracing over your bones and knuckles softly, fiddling with your rings.

"i understand, i mean. i think." his voice was low and soft. anyone standing further than a few feet away would have a hard time hearing him. "whatever your reason for ignoring that call, whyever you did it... i've got dozens of calls from my old man i never bothered to pick up."

when you looked up at him, you saw his eyes glues to your fingers tangled with his. he touched your hands so delicately, as if you were made of glass. he was so full of care. his touch, the way he looked at you, all of it. it was all so full of the most tender affection.

"you don't need to talk about it, if you don't want to. God knows it took me forever to open up to midoriya," he smiled a bit. "i just wanted you to know the offer is out there, if you need it."

you bit down on your lollipop to try and hide how big that'd made you smile. the second you opened your mouth to say something, you heard iida begin to raise his voice, something about curfew and going to bed.

both you and todoroki turned to see him coming into the kitchen, stiffening when he notices you.

"both of you should get off the counter right now! this is living space, for goodness sake! and still school property."

you chuckled and waved a hand at him, already climbing off. "alright, class rep, don't get your panties in a twist. we're going." you tossed your sucker in the bin as todoroki stepped onto the floor, too.

"good. now get some good rest tonight, we've all had a long week and you've earned it. sleep well, both of you."

"you too, iida."

you and todoroki offered him tired smiles as you made your way past him to the elevator. when you got inside, you practically collapsed against the wall with an exasperated sigh. todoroki went ahead and pushed the button for his floor, but not yours. you didn't question it, maybe he'd forgotten. so instead, you pushed yourself off the wall and moved towards the panel. your outstretched hand halted to a stop when you felt arms wrap around your torso. before you could turn, you felt todoroki's nose nuzzle into your neck. he took a deep breath that made you shiver.

"come over, to my room. we can talk. or not. i can distract you, do whatever you want. i'm not tired yet."

feeling his breath on your skin practically made your heart leap into your throat. you stood, frozen for a moment, gasping softly when his grip on you tightened ever so slightly. you wondered if he could feel your heart beating, with how close he was to your main pulse points. his lips, so close...

you leaned back into him and put your hands over his, wrapped around your waist. "yeah... me neither."

you could practically feel him smile as another small exhale of his grazed your neck, making you shiver. "i'll play with your hair if you want, play with your fingers... just hold you."

as if his words hadn't already done it, you practically melted in his hands when his lips pressed against your neck for a long second. you hummed in response, blushing furiously.

"just relax pretty girl, i promise i'll be there for you however you need me."

idk man its wtv !

i'm officially out of ideas right now, requests are open to anybody, feel free to be as specific or detailed or even vague as you like and please please please don't be shy <33

i love you sm okay bye !!

[ju1cyfru1t]

Hi!! Could I req hcs for rise leo x a reader (not established relationship) who’s insanely good at video games but also not competitive at all?? so they’ll have a game night and reader’s demolishing leo at smash bro’s and him being leo he’s getting heated n butthurt and reader’s just like :> this is fun!

Thank youuu!!!!

I’m going to assume you mean platonic, I hope that’s right. I also hope you mind I made this a Drabble. :D ty for the request <3 this is so cute

Rise! Leo x Reader

Humble reader beats Leo at video games.

fluff, platonic, gn reader, Leo being crazed

rottmnt x reader

‘Y/N wins’ was plastered across the screen, and Leo groaned with his head in his hands. This had been the like 8th time you’ve beat him in a row.

“Hm. Good game.”

Leo’s head shot up and he stared at you in disbelief, “Good…Good game? Did you just say good game?” He laughed, crazed.

You looked back at him, confused, “uh, yeah…Hey, thanks for introducing me to this game. It’s really fun!”

“Of course it is when you win…” Leo muttered, crossing his arms.

“Don’t be like that, man.” You scoffed, snickering at his attitude.

“Come on! Aren’t you even excited that you won?!” Leo exclaimed, exasperated. “Tell me I suck! You’re the champ and I’m not! Something!”

“Why the hell would I do that? You need to chill.” You playfully and gently shoved him, to which of course he flailed like a rag doll. (Dramatic ass)

“Hey!” He gasped, “Easy! You’re gonna crack my shell or something, bro.”

You snorted, “Puh-lease. Your shell is almost as thick as your skull, Leo.”

“What?!” Leo put a hand over his heart in offense before sighing, “Ok, ok. Alright. How ‘bout this, let’s just play a different game, yeah? Like Mario Kart or something.”

You thought for a moment before shrugging, “Sure, why not? I haven’t played that in a while though, so I might be a little rusty.”

Leo glared at you with a confident smirk, switching the games.

1st place Y/N.

All of Leo’s confidence turned into despair.

“This cannot be happening. I thought you said you were rusty…” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“I am! C’mon, you did great.” You patted him on the shell with a seemingly innocent smile.

He slowly turned his head to look at you, his eye twitching in annoyance. Why weren’t you bragging? Why weren’t you being obnoxious about winning? That’s what really irked him.

And so, you played another match. And then another, and another, and so on. Yet every game seemed to have the same outcome: ‘1st Place Y/N.’

Leo was at his breaking point.

“I can’t…I just cant even. I should’ve played with Donnie…” He just couldn’t accept the crushing defeat he wasn’t used to.

“Whaaat? Come on, man! We had fun, didn’t we?”

“Fun?!” Leo looked at you with wide eyes, he took a deep breath. “It’s ok. It’s fine, this is fine. Let’s just…play a different game.” He gritted his teeth, closing out Mario Kart.

Every new game you played just crushed his confidence all over again.

[rydiathesummoner]

Rating FFXVI characters based on how badass they were when they died*

*the official status from Square Enix for three of the characters is "it's up to the player's interpretation" but for the purpose of this post obviously I'm rating as if they died.

Spoilers start here!

Elwin 4/10

It's always a bit badass to die saving your kid. So he gets some points there. And he didn't go out crying about how he was betrayed. That said, he was REALLY caught off guard by Head Chopper, and as the ruler of a nation and the spouse of a conniving bitch I expected more from him.

The Bastards 7/10

Squashed by Boulder Dude gets lots of points for the memorable epic scream. Axe Dude here gets points for getting murdered without messing up his hair. Now THAT's talent. Tiamat gets no points. He was easily beaten by his subordinate, plus he was given a chance to escape his position and he chose to remain loyal to Sanbreque. Like bro. That was your chance. So many people died in that battle. You could have just vanished. Did anybody go looking for Clive after he vanished? No! You died Sanbreque's loyal little bitch.

Benedikta 9/10

Benedikta went out like a champ. An absolute badass. She didn't even flinch at the previously unknown Eikon of Fire, she just took one look and was like "ok yeah sure I''ll kick this one's ass too." Girl regrew limbs and stood on Ifrit's face. She showed the player how scary eikons are. I'd give her a 10/10, but she threw my dog.

Cid 10/10

Cid destroyed a mothercrystal, got stabbed by an interdimensional monster, STOOD BACK UP to stab Ultima in the neck, then spent his last moments giving Clive a heartwarming and encouraging speech. He went out on his own terms, despite being a dominant. Bravo Cid 🫡

Imreann 0/10

Just look at this asshole. He genuinely thought Jill wouldn't kill him. His last moments were spent like "Wait, why is the girl I horribly mistreated killing me? That's not fair!" I considered giving him a pity point because Jill's badassery is awesome in this scene, but nah.

Hugo 4/10

The fight was a 10/10, but his death was too quick after that to really show any badassery. He used up everything he had to fight Clive, which I'll give him points for. But just turning instantly to stone like that... I dunno, he just seems pretty 'armless.

Sylvestre 6/10

Again, giving points here for dying to protect your kid. Even if your kid is a possessed monster from a conniving bitch. I gave him an extra point for running even though he needs a cane. And another because I'm pretty sure he figured out he was a dumbass all along in his last minutes.

Olivier 2/10

I'll give points for this death making me laugh. It wasn't a badass death at all, but I still clapped in my head.

Annabella 4/10

I hate this cunt so much. I wanted to kill her myself, but she stole that too. I'll give her points for the mystery of whether she actually thought Joshua was a demon or if she was just manipulating to the very end. Plus a point for trying to cut Joshua with her knife. If she really did think he was a demon, at least she tried to defend herself.

Barnabas 9/10

The fight was great. The crazy-man laugh was great. The best part though, is that he got one over the most overpowered person on the planet just by grabbing his ankle. Clive didn't even want Odin's power, but Barnabas was like "nope, you're slurping my powers whether you want to or not." I took off a point for his last words reminding the player of the scene of him cuddling his mom naked, ugh not the last thing I want to remember about the dude.

Dion 3/10

I gave him points because the "I ask not for acceptance but for forgiveness" part was cool, but everything else about this death was stupid. He's still babbling about his worthless father. He doesn't even mention the one person genuinely in his corner. He's badass the rest of the game, so his Suicide by Demigod death is incredibly stupid. Look, I've spent way too much time in the past in a therapist's chair ticking The Bad Boxes so I really, really understand the mental state. But that doesn't change the fact that killing yourself over something you didn't have control over is stupid. It would have been far more badass if he managed to find a way to live with himself, because that's far harder than offing yourself.

Joshua 10/10

Joshua was frail and weak, but he really powered through until the end. His dedication was admirable. He gave it his all, including his Phoenix powers. His last speech to Clive was so sweet, and it really showed his faith in Clive to do what was right for the world.

Ultima 7/10

The fight was great. But the sheer pettiness here won me over. Clive won fair and square, and Ultima is STILL getting his digs in, right up to the last second. His last words are pure snark. Maybe that's not very badass, but I can at least respect it.

Clive 9/10

I respect his ability to swim/float to the beach after that last fight. That's badass. I only took a point off because he didn't drag himself very far onto the beach. His body may be in trouble when the tide comes in. It's nice that his last moments are thinking of the ones he loved. But most impressive of all is that despite JUST dragging himself out of the water, his hair looks like he just stepped out of the salon. Like, damn. Nobody will ever top that ability. No man can compete with that.

[shadowqueenjude]

Best SJM men to have on your periods

Lucien Vanserra: UM HELLO????? OUR LADY'S MAN???? You think he only knows how to get pussy? Naaaaa, he has plenty of female friends so he knows just how to handle this shit. Plus he's got that fire in his veins so you know he has the warmest hands to massage away your cramps (thank you @nocasdatsgay i'm never letting this HC go) Eris Vanserra: PROTECTING HIS MOTHER??? MAMA'S BOY???? Also with fire in his veins to massage away those cramps???? Ummmm, sign me up sis, he knows JUST what to do in this situation. Ruhn Danaan: This man is shredding toxic masculinity to PIECES!! He's a crier, the best big bro, and his wife was a single mom??? He takes care of his mama???? He's not just good with his tongue girl, he'd worship you on your periods. Whatever you want, he'll give you (even sex). Tamlin: Hello??? Big stoic man who not only provided for Feyre's family but made them rich as fuck? Believes in the equality of all faeries, took Feyre's sad painting, and defied all customs by choosing a human as his bride??? He's a menstruation king too, I just know it. Lorcan Salvaterre: THE ORIGINAL MENSTRUATION KING!!!! He took care of Elide like a fucking champ. RIPPING YOUR SHIRT FOR HER PERIODS????? PEAK RIZZ!!!! Plus we've already seen his massaging prowess when he massaged Elide's ankle???? Like??? GIVE ME THAT MAN!!! In collaboration with @decadentpostnacho

[drakebabymoms]

ok but like getting walked in on by eren while reader is fucking armin. And they don’t give a fuck abt eren watching💀

ouuuu okay, i can work with this 🤭

fem reader!

armin pounded deeply, bullying ur cervix with every thrust. at this point you are ON CLOUD 9 SEEING STARS LIKE BRO. tears started forming in your eyes because how overstimulated you were. Armin kept thrusting, drilling your shit completely ignoring the fact you keep trying to push him away with your hand on his ab slightly pushing on him “please baby i know you can take it…i promise it’ll feel so good.. “ he said as he held your hand on his abs as slight moans escaped from his mouth.

what you didn’t know is that armin had planned to hang with eren today but totally forgot about it when you showed up, them being super close he does have a key to armins apartment so when he walked in like nothing y’all couldn’t even hear him come in because you were just too fucked out to even pay attention to anything

“you take me like a c-champ fuck, you feels s-soo fucking good holy shit” he moaned out throwing his head back. fat tears start rolling down your cheeks as his eyes began to roll back “m-min i-m gonna” and that’s when he walked in “aye armin you he- woah.” eren stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide as he opened the door to find you two fucking, but armin oh no, he wasn’t even close to done with you why was he gonna stop now?? He started to hit so deeply in you his length and his width making you feel completely full “oh m-my god min” you said in a breathy tone as he thrusted harder and slower. “you like this shit huh? being fucked infront of my friends, you gonna cum infront of him too?” he said as he grabbed ur face to look at him “look at me as you cum on my cock, I wanna see it” he said desperately looking straight into your eyes. You nodded ur head looking up at him with lidded eyes as you started to feel ur orgasm arriving “im c-cum-ming ” you said as you felt your whole body tense up and start shaking he started to fasten his thrust and MAN OH MAN. He knew exactly what you liked and how you liked it so he was the master at finishing you off.

He turned to wink at eren and smile at him “you might wanna leave now, im not even close to being finished” he said teasingly looking back at you as you quickly took this moment to rest “remind me not to barge in your house EVER AGAIN” he said as he turned the door handle behind of him, slowly walking out the door in disbelief of what he just saw “now before i was rudely interrupted” he whispered kissing your forehead, pulling back from the kiss as he examined your fucked out face. slowing dragging his thumb across your bottom lip, he slowly slipped it inside your mouth.

[velvetures]

alr alr alr so hear me out just HEAR me out right

Gaz. Right, right. Showing the reader he's a certified munch. Right. Idk how it would go. I imagine he maybe helped them out with something and they owe him a solid and then bro just like "fuq all this sexual attention bruv. Bring dat arse here and let me sip on ye like sum fine wine" or sumn. Idk. BUT PLS CONSIDER IT PLS I LOVE THIS MAN SOO MUCH

Tip the Driver

summary: you go above and beyond the call of duty and it earns you a certain operator's constant attention and adoration. he's insistent that he pays you back... and you're utterly shocked at what he suggests.

t/w's: canonical violence, blood, GSW, Gaz eating pussy like a champ, fem-reader, fem oral receiving, dirty talk, fingering, female orgasm, male orgasm, public?fuck,... probably missed a bunch..

MRAP's didn't make for the best office... but it was yours whether or not you liked it all that much or not. Between the .50 cal bolted to the roof and the unmoveable windows, it made for a shitty view just about everywhere you received orders to go. Be it sand and dusty nothingness or abandoned and flaming city streets with car alarms blaring after a bomb strike. Your "office" hardly proved to be comfortable, but no one could contest your ability to drive the damn thing and keep the men inside of it safe.

The most important of all was Task Force 141 on the frequent occasions that your specialist skills were necessary for getting the boys in and out of a tight situation when a helo couldn't be afforded. It was a pain in the ass job that hardly anyone ever wanted... and you couldn't say that you'd initially volunteered for it either. You'd been forced after multiple vehicle squads declined to work with the 141.

Nothing ever went to plan with them.

It all happened far too quickly.

What started as a simple insertion by vehicle turned into nearly inescapable hellfire raining down on the sides of your armored truck. Banging heavy brass and lead rounds against the walls and drowning out the sounds of Captain Price’s orders. The whole plan went to shit the first second an RPG took a nose dive less than fifteen feet in front of your truck; stalling the movement of the small convoy and pinning you between two rocky cliffs pinched off and slowly closing up even tighter.

One moment you were doing the only thing asked of you: drive Task Force 141 through the gap to the small terrorist encampment on the other side, and hide yourself until they needed a quick escape. The next you were knelt down in the back, tightening down a tourniquet around Kyle Garrick’s thigh and preparing with shaky hands to pack a steadily bleeding bullet wound. There was hardly a second to think about anything, much less second guess your best instincts after Soap and Ghost hauled Gaz back to the truck and made a very harsh demand that you “pack him tight”.

Honestly, you didn’t even know what that meant. But Gaz -in all his inhuman strength- had enough patience and discipline to ignore the pain he was feeling to walk you through exactly what it took to keep him from bleeding out before you could get him somewhere for real medical attention. From cutting his own pant leg open to handing you each tool or material necessary, Kyle couldn’t have been a better patient to learn with. But it didn’t make you feel any better for looking up at him every few seconds and seeing him practically chewing on his own belt to keep from screaming or cracking his teeth.

“Doin’ good sweetheart…”

“That’s it, keep it -fuck- keep it tight like that…”

“Can’t be shy with me. Need you to be tough, m’kay?”

Every little praise or motivation he gave made eased your worries, but damn if you didn’t feel the littlest bit guilty for needing a wounded man to give you reassurance. It should’ve been the opposite. You easing his nerves. Telling him he’d be okay, and that there wasn’t anything to worry about. But there wasn’t a single thing you could do except following his directions to the letter, and hope that he didn’t pass out before you could finish up.

“For a gearhead, you’ve got nice hands…”

“Aren’t you a little too pretty to get stuck drivin’ us around?”

The longer you stayed in the back with Gaz, trying to mop up the blood pooling on the floor and around him, the more invested he became with you; not just what you were doing to make sure he didn’t die. Naturally, you’d known Kyle well enough to say you were acquaintances but it was never significant enough to say more than a friendly hello and goodbye when you caught each other’s attention. But with each milliliter of blood lost, Kyle Garrick began losing that well-mannered silence he was so often teased about. Enjoying the sight of you that close to you, and mentioning even the smallest little goofy detail he could muster up in half-consciousness.

“Gaz… you need to rest,” You’re hardly able to get the words out with all of the anxiety you have building with each bullet lodging itself in the side of your truck. “Can’t have you leaving us…” He just chuckles with a little wince. Leaning his head back against the back of your driver’s seat with one hand resting over his thigh and the other instinctively resting on the grip of his pistol still tucked against his hip.

“Not leaving if you’re around… s’pecially now that i’ve got your attention..” He gives a shy little smile. “You’re a really pretty for a MRAP driver… well… the only pretty one…” His eyes cut down and away from yours. “But still…”

You’d have been mush with such a cute admission had it not been for the firefight happening just outside your vehicle. And it was the limit of your power to ensure that Gaz was stable until there wasn’t a shot fired and you heard a nearly breathless all-clear from Captain Price outside. When the back doors swung open, the rest of Task Force 141 took in the sight of your blood-soaked gear, red-stained hands, sweat dripping down your neck, and Kyle slumped against you sleeping off the exhaustion with a fairly decent field dressing.

They were impressed.

Enough so that Price ordered Ghost to drive and let you sit in the back next to Gaz who had unconsciously laid up against you like a body pillow of sorts. Your mission had been busted by bad intel and a tip-off. It led to all of you regrouping back at base.

The 141 hauling Kyle off to the infirmary to get legitimate treatment, and you back to the garage where your truck had been shot to hell and back and needed repairs… If you could make them.

It was a good thing you’d been in a MRAP… but even they could only take so much abuse before bulletproof panels started bending and cracking under pressure. On first inspection you’d seen the pinholes of light shining from the garage lights through the walls onto the blood-stained floor in the back. And that was an entirely different struggle you’d been attempting to overcome. Seeing the dark red remanence of Gaz’s injury puddled and dried all over the desert tan painted floor. You’d been so upset by it that you attempted to scrub it off by hand since nothing else had worked. For two days you scrubbed at it… your squad mates passing by to yet again see you down on your hands and knees with a scrub brush, hot water, and bleach. But you’d hardly made a dent in the unmistakable stains by the time that Gaz was given full release from the doctors on staff.

Fuck, the only reason you knew that was because he’d been the one to come and find you still scrubbing at the back of your truck.

The light tap on the open back door halted your frenzied scrubbing. Looking up from the pink-tinged bubbles surrounding your hands, you came to meet Kyle standing there a bit stiffly with a somewhat curious look on his face.

“Sorry about that…” His apology isn’t exactly a joke, but you can tell that a part of it bothers him. “I’m normally not that messy.”

“You hardly have a reason to be sorry.” You feel responsible for reassuring him. Having it in the back of your mind that without saying it, he’d go on believing that you were inconvenienced by the whole ordeal, instead of deeply, and for some reason -very- emotionally protective. “It’s the least I can do to let you bleed in my truck.”

Kyle chuckled, stiffly moving to pull himself up into the vehicle. He sat down even more slowly with his boots facing away from the stain you’d been scrubbing at. “I guess you have had at least a couple fingers shoved inside my thigh… maybe we’re even?”

He earns a laugh from you.

Probably the most genuine one you’ve let out since the day he got injured. Gaz can’t help but be reminded of just how pretty you are in that moment. Kneeling there with a mop bucket and suds of soap surrounding your knees with baby hairs sticking to the sweat on your forehead. He’d not been too under the influence to exaggerate just how pretty he thought you were. And the fact that your job entailed driving on an equal skill level to being part of the presidential motorcade certainly added attraction points.

That little crush he nursed was ignored as much as possible. But remembering small flashes of your worried face looking over him a few days back haunted every waking moment of his day. While a little crush on a pretty girl was one thing, adding fuel to that fire was burning Kyle’s self-control into ashes.

He wanted to think there was some way of… flirting with you, he supposed. Giving a hint that he wasn’t just coming to waste time in the garage with you because of how well you shoved gauze into the hole in his thigh. But he could only think of one decent idea… and damn if he didn’t think it was the most feral thing he’d ever dreamt up. Seeing you just sitting there like that enticed his pain-med-laced thoughts with enough eroticism to even make Soap’s head spin like a fucking top.

“You feeling okay Gaz?” The sound of your voice breaks him from the thoughts.

His nods, one hand sliding over the heavily bandaged spot on his thigh under his pants. “Yeah, just thinking about something…”

Your eyebrows quirk up. “What’s that? Must be important for you to be staring off into nothingness like that.”

“Just how I’m going to pay you back for keeping me alive.” He smiles, lazily drawing his gaze down to look at you. His forearms resting on his thighs gently, looking down at you sitting just out of arm’s reach on the floor. “And I think I know how to do it.”

Kyle’s wide stance and downright confident swagger merely sitting there makes the slight bleach smell in the air pale in comparison to the dizziness his heavy gaze does. From the black boots, to the jeans, hoodie and black baseball cap, he’s nothing short of pure masculine energy. And fuck does he know it. Screaming felt like an appropriate response to his comments, yet the only think that could come out of your mouth was a nervous giggle. Soft and a little hesitant. Flashing your nervous anxiety like a white flag right in Kyle’s face.

“Somethin’ funny?” He smirked a little, adjusting the bill of his cap and tugging it down closer to his eyebrows. You shake your head ‘no’, trying to recover and sober up quickly.

“Oh, no… please, do tell.” He presses smoothly, dark eyes brightening with what you can only compare to champagne and chocolate diamonds glittering in warm, cocktail bar lighting. Enticing… rich… and oh-so-pretty.

“Just, sounded a little suggestive is all.” You smile, saying it with an uncertainty that wavers between it being a joke, and a question as to his seriousness. Trying to keep the ball in his court as not to foul up on whatever kind of situation Kyle came here to trap you in.

If it’s naturally possible, his eyes darken. “What if I was being a lot more suggestive?” His upper body leans a little closer. “What would you think then?” You feel your own stomach twist into tight knots.

“I’d think you’re crazy.”

Gaz laughs. Actually laughs out loud, and grins down at you.

“Crazy, huh?” He reaches a hand out, fingertips touching the underside of your chin and guiding your face up to meet his. His huffs a little chuckle, almost mesmerized by you and the way you think. “Well, I might just be,” He answered quietly.

“But that isn’t going to stop me.” You swallow thickly, feeling his thumb brush over the swell of your bottom lip ever so softly.

“Stop you from doing what exactly?” Gaz chuckles lowly again, giving a moment to look at the blood stain on the floor and the hell of a time you’d been having trying to remove it.

“Showing you the one other time I don’t mind making a mess.”

***

You can’t be sure if it’s just how time suddenly bends around Gaz, or if you just can’t care enough to keep track of it. But you find yourself sitting naked in the drivers seat of your own MRAP, pants hanging from one ankle, shoes lost somewhere in the cab, and your panties shoved into Gaz’s back pocket. Be an hour or five, you’d already lost count of the times Kyle gave you the same praise as he did when you were helping patch him up.

Only this time, he was muffling your screams of pleasure with his hot mouth pressed against yours and fingers so deep inside your cunt that it was almost too easy to make you come for him. Your slick dripped from your clenching pussy into the fabric seat cover, soaking Kyle’s whole hand and your ass.

“That’s it… such a pretty pussy…” His low rumbling praise against your ear feels like electric static running down your spine. “What a lucky man… getting to shove my fingers in it, and see how wet I can make you.”

Lithe digits massage against the squishy front wall of your cunt, while his other hand doubles to put pressure on your stomach while rubbing at your clit with his fingertips all at the same time. You’re helpless to do more than let your head heavily thump against the tinted window behind you and squeeze your eyes shut to keep from utterly losing your mind. Kyle Garrick has turned you into a whimpering, messy, slutty-looking mess. And god is he more than happy to let you know just how good it looks from his angle.

“Fuucckk yesss..” He groans, kneeling closer to your pussy. Resting his cheek against your inner thigh and pressing a sloppy kiss to it when he’s able to draw yet another orgasm from you. Rending your legs truly useless and unable to fend off his attacks in any meaningful way.

It’s exactly where he wants you.

You’re pinned back against your seat with your knees on either side of your head and a dizzy look on your face as Kyle blows a teasing breath against your swollen clit, staring down at you damn near drunk off the sight alone. It makes you yelp, but with all of his methodical preparation, the only thing keeping him from sinking his tongue into your wet hole is wanting to see what other sounds he can drag out of you without touching that sensitive collection of nerve endings. Gaz couldn’t get enough of seeing your legs limp and easily maneuvered out of his way so that nothing more than your submissive little expressions and dripping cunt are on display.

“Told you I don’t like making messes…” His tongue licked lazily at the crease of your thigh, teasing himself with just the slightest tase of your arousal. Edging himself with the full prize of tasting all of his hard work.

“But I want you to look this slutty all the time, pretty girl…” He grinned darkly.

Finally lowering himself to your core, he curls his tongue through your folds with a satisfied groan. Purposefully burying his nose against your clit and sucking at your release until he’s certain he won’t need to eat for the rest of the day. You’re too wrecked to squirm anymore. Merely staring up blankly at the celling as he tongue rolls over your clit and dips down to gather up your slick before it drips down onto the seat again.

“Oh my god…” It’s a miracle you can utter a single word.

Kyle squeezes at the muscle and fat on your thighs in reward for finding your voice, if even for just a moment. That’s good… he thinks, knowing you can take this much pleasure and not give up when he’s still not satiated with the taste of your come sliding down his throat. He’s nearly lost all composure of himself as well; but damn if he didn’t just want to tie your legs to the driver’s seat and steering wheel just so he could lap at your cunt for hours without you interrupting him. Wishful thinking for this only being the first time he’d been able to taste you. But he was certain there wouldn’t be a single day in the future he’d go without at least the slightest tease of your pleasure lingering on his lips.

“One more,” He demands, teasing your hole with his thumb as his tongue traces your inner lips languidly. “Feed me baby…”

There’s not a moment’s hesitation.

You nearly come on command at this point. So overstimulated but desperate for more that when Kyle gently grazes his teeth over your clit, everything unravels in a fuzzy lost of your eyesight and a shock of sensation so strong in your body that Gaz manages to actually make your legs shake one last time. It’s so damn strong tears flood your eyes, and it’s not until you feel him slowly pumping a few of his fingers in and out of your weeping cunt that you realize he’s actually helping you ride it out by stroking at your g-spot tenderly and kissing your inner thigh.

He looks just as lost in the moment as you feel.

His mouth parted and still lapping at your folds like he’s possessed to do nothing else. Your arousal slicking the entire lower half of his face, and his baseball cap turned around backwards with a light grey t-shirt that he’d have to let dry before getting out of your truck due to the cum splatters covering the front. As if that wasn’t enough to turn you on seeing Kyle Garrick on his knees and pussy drunk off you, the large wet spot just to the left of his zipper made your weakened muscles clench around his fingers. Kyle follows your line of sight, chuckling quietly and gently palming at his softening cock through his pants with a small shrug.

“It’s my favorite…” He explains soft but very honestly, eyes flashing back to where he begins slowly removing his fingers from your cunt. Eyeing his own fingers and how your walls accommodate them before sinking his own fingers in his mouth to finish ‘clean up’ on his favorite messy job.

“Now we’re even?” You ask, a little dazed and reaching a hand out to find his for some stability and reassurance. Kyle laughs softly, helping you readjust your legs and lifting you up to sit in his lap to ward off the after-sex chills raising up on your bared skin.

“I suppose so,” His wetted lips press against your temple and linger there reverently for a minute or two.

“Or… we could… keep doing each other favors?” His voice lowers a bit, sounding far too unsure for your liking.

“I don’t want to do favors, Gaz.” You smile.

“I just wanna do you.”

[ghostherlig]

some more random hcs!!

bc im going to be away from my pc for like a week and wont be able to write until i get back home :')

please enjoy some more poly earth champs 😌 (under the cut bc idk how long this is going to be- update: it's long :))

raiden picks up sayings and swears from each of his bfs- the first thing he picked up was kenshi's small curses in japanese, to which kenshi, when he first heard, gasped and asked "who taught you that?!?" before realizing raiden was repeating what kenshi had said a few (thousand 🙄✋️) times before

raiden also picks up johnny's internet lingo/slang and sometimes uses it- also picked up the "get in the bed" jokes from johnny (ie, "i'll show you (insert adjective here), get in the bed")

lao and raiden already talk like they're the same person, but raiden sometimes mimicks how lao says things- like tone, intonation, sometimes will even pitch his voice to match lao's

kung lao is a fiend when it comes to video games- has the most number of smash bros wins and wears that crown with pride (lao mains king dedede and kirby, johnny plays king k rool and bayonetta, raiden plays ice climbers and pikachu, and kenshi plays mr game n watch (theres a blind joke in there somewhere) and luigi)

kenshi actually really likes playing games- he's a very playful and coy person at heart and when he's comfortable his cheeky nature appears and always gets his bfs to laugh and swoon- he's also very funny when he's comfy

when johnny gets super comfy, he coos similar to a pigeon- it's always quiet and usually unintentional but whenever one of his bfs ctach the sound they melt- kenshi rumbles when he's comfy, almost like a purr before it trails into a sigh (and then a nap), lao stretches out and does this minute long sigh, and raiden grumbles before he fully settles

their coffee/tea preferences!! johnny needs his coffee, and he usually does it without syrups- just black coffee with extra espresso shots or a plain latte- johnny got lao into coffee but lao likes the fun syrups a lot and really loves when johnny makes him caramel macchiatos- raiden and kenshi are the resident tea drinkers 😌 raiden drinks mostly green tea since it's a nice boost for him in the morning, but kenshi has discovered london fogs and he cant go back- he saves his green teas for the afternoon or evening when he wants that lil boost

kenshi and johnny are both fantastic cooks, but raiden and lao can bake like no one's business- raiden really enjoys making bread and lao likes making cookies- often they can be found gossiping with sugar and butter beating in the stand mixer

kenshi will make ramen for his bfs during winter or when one of them is sick- it's his family's recipe and he's perfected it

johnny has the singing voice of someone on radio in the 40's and all of his bfs swoon whenever they catch him singing, especially when it's later in the evening and johnny is dancing in the kitchen to sinatra

raiden plays the kalimba!! he knows all sorts of songs from howl's moving castle to claire de lune and he usually plays in the afternoon- kenshi will always smile when he's drinking tea in the living room and hears the soft tinkling from upstairs

favorite sodas!! lao loves dr pepper- johnny is a coke drinker through and through, raiden likes sprite and ginger ale, and kenshi usually gets root beer or fruity sodas

the first time johnny took kenshi to a Mitsuwa the man was skeptical, but he found it had a lot of stuff he missed from home- johnny would've bought the whole store if it made kenshi happy

johnny begged madam bo for a few of her recipes (lao and raiden's favs) and he spent weeks with her near perfecting them before he cooked them for lao and raiden at home- they both cried (and so did johnny)

when kenshi is off around the world working with jax, lao will call him spontaneously just to fill him in, usually when johnny and raiden are napping or when he really misses kenshi- sometimes kenshi can hear how much lao misses him even though he doesnt say it :(( he always promises he'll be home soon and will blow a kiss through the phone

johnny has a huge walk in closet that he encourages his bfs to use also- johnny loves when any of his bfs "accidently" grab one of his shirts and wear it for a day- they all end up wearing each other's clothes anyway

raiden and lao are plant dads- they have a lucky bamboo plant in the kitchen and a few trees and a mint plant scattered through out the house- there's also eucalyptus in their giant shared bathroom which johnny cannot live without now that he has it

kenshi is the reason the other three love the smell of incense- kenshi used to burn some whenever he was really stressed (like once a week to a month) and he always smelled like incense- now his bfs will burn some when they miss him

johnny loves when his bfs sleepily talk to him in their native languages- he's picked up a bit from each of them and can make out a few sentences but really just loves how they sound-

johnny does math for fun (phd in quantum mechanics) and sometimes his bfs will find notes around the house of numbers and equations that mean nothing to them- but they keep a pile in a drawer somewhere bc they like johnny's loopy hand writing

johnny will slip into german when he's drunk- like full accent and everything- he's barely conversational in german sober though so when he watches videos of himself the next morning he has no idea what he's saying

kenshi hates bugs- like cant stand roaches or spiders- for the longest time johnny dealt with them for him when they lived together

lao makes fun of kenshi for jumping or getting anxious around spiders and roaches but he also gets jumpy and anxious around spiders and roaches

kenshi has his phone auto read texts and johnny will send awful texts when the house is in dead silence- like johnny will be upstairs or in the bathroom and kenshi will be in the kitchen or living room making food or relaxing and suddenly his phone will go off with nonsense or pick up lines over and over again and johnny is laughing somewhere in the house and kenshi is sighing trying not to laugh

raiden likes making mead at home- he's also dabbled in making beer and wine but he prefers mead bc he likes how simple the recipe is and how he can switch out the fruits depending on the season

johnny just doesnt like regular cows milk, so he always has a milk substitute available for himself- at first he was all about almond and oat milk but then he realized he could just use coconut milk and coconut cream for things.... he's a changed man

they all patch each other up after missions- usually it's a quiet affair and they all just soak up being home and safe together again, but other times it can be loud and boisterous or sometimes an argument will break out if someone was injured for a stupid reason (like when johnny broke a rib taking a hit for lao, or when raiden almost got thrown off of a cliff after taking on like five assailants at once)

johnny runs super hot, kenshi runs super cold, lao's thermoregulation is honestly impressive, and raiden says he's fine but his fingers and toes get cold hella fucking fast

despite lao being the one with the chakram hat, johnny's hands are the most scarred thanks to split knuckles, clumsy moments with sharp objects, his loose use of knife safety while cooking, and how often kenshi and him used to spar at wu shi

the only bf without a single tattoo on his skin is lao- kenshi has his body murals, johnny has a few small ones that can be covered by make up, and raiden has a small smiley face on his ass cheek after losing a bet to lao

when talking about his bfs to jax, kenshi never specifies until jax asks- so kenshi will go on and on about how one of his bfs has been getting into this new show, and jax will have to use context clues to be able to tell if it's johnny, raiden, or lao-

johnny plays with the press a bit by mentioning his bfs in passing but almost as if he's talking about one dude- it's a whole thing when he breaks that he's in a polycule

kenshi doesnt like being on camera, so often photos with kenshi are cropped or taken with his head/face/tattoos out of frame- the most kenshi interacts with fans is when johnny does short lives and kenshi will talk to them there while johnny reads the comments to him

raiden and lao always crash johnny's lives- lao and johnny will chat with ppl and raiden usually sits nearby but also doesnt love being on camera- so he's given his privacy unless he tells johnny otherwise

the four are well known at the closest ER- johnny is very clumsy and living with antique swords, a chakram hat, several super sharp kitchen knives, and a lot of glass antiques as well can lead to a lot injuries- the night nurse knows the four of them fairly well and johnny is always sure to send her little gifts during the holidays and on her birthday- she's like an honorary fifth member of their lil family

unless he's cooking, going out, or working out, raiden leaves his hair down- all three of his bfs love running their hands through it

johnny does skin care nights for his bfs- he pampers himself and all of them with face masks and special treatments, they make a night of it and order in and put some music on while they chill in comfy clothes and indulge in self care

kenshi is a master at massages- his bfs are always spoiled if they complain of back pain or sore muscles-

lao will make cookie dough if he cant sleep, and several times all three of his bfs have caught him up at 4 am leant over the counter mixing chocolate chips into cookie dough before shoving the bowl in the fridge and getting dragged back upstairs

kenshi smokes sometimes when he's stressed or needs to think smth over- johnny used to smoke and sometimes joins kenshi outside just for the smell, though johnny has stolen cigarettes before when he was a little too stressed with work

raiden and lao are always dragging johnny and kenshi away from work late at night- they both overwork themselves and it's always "one more thing" until it's 2 am and then raiden and lao go and drag them off to bed

lao has music going 24/7- it's impossible to catch him without an ear bud in (he listens to all sorts of music but johnny and kenshi introduced him to rap and dad rock and that's a good portion of his music)

lao also listens to a lot of hip hop and can be caught dancing around the house to whatever is playing

that's all i got for now- it's almost 2 am for me so now i must go to bed lmao, but i love polychamps so much 🥺💖

[agaypanic]

Reader with a shit ton of piercings dating Benny and he thinks they’re the coolest things ever!! he gets her straws after getting her lip pierced, playing with her belly button piercing and will randomly say “did ya know my girlfriend has her nose pierced” or wtv ect,,, hes just obsessed with reader and her piercings🤭

Benny Weir With an Girlfriend With Piercings

Masterlist

Request Something!

***

BRO IS SO OBSESSED WITH YOU

The minute he sees you, shiny with metal, he’s a goner

Benny always asks which ones hurt the most/least, how long you’ve had them, etc

The septum piercing is probably one of his favorites

After school, you and Benny had a bit of a routine. You’d walk to his house, either picking some food up on the way or making something, and then go to his room to unwind. This usually meant watching TV, playing video games, or napping.

Today, Benny chose to play some games while you wanted to nap. Not wanting to be too far from you, Benny dragged you into his lap while booting up his computer. You molded yourself against him, almost immediately dozing off.

You woke up an hour later, and Benny was still playing his game. You watched with tired eyes, occasionally moving your septum piercing around with your lips out of boredom. He paused the game, and when you looked up to ask him why, he was already looking at you.

“What? Want a kiss?” He asked, catching you off guard. 

“Huh?” 

“You keep making kissy faces at me.” He laughed like you were playing a game with him.

“No, I’m not!” It was your turn to laugh, first out of confusion and then in realization. “I was just moving my piercing around.” You puckered your lips slightly to move the jewelry back and forth to show Benny. He rolled his eyes.

“Those are kissy faces, Y/n.”

“Well, I’m sorry for giving you the wrong impression.” You giggled, and Benny shook his head, adjusting you in his hold before going back to his game. You didn’t miss the slight pout on his lips. Grinning, you took Benny’s face in your hands, and he paused the game again.

“Do you want a kiss, Benny Baby?” You asked, enjoying the way his eyes lit up at the nickname. Instead of saying yes, he puckered his lips. You let out a small chuckle before kissing him.

Benny always tries to be helpful when it comes to your piercings, especially new ones

keeps supplies at his house for you to clean your piercings

accompanies you when you get new ones, always holding your hand and fighting you about who’s paying for it

“Okay, breathe in.” Your piercer instructed. You did as you were told, closing your eyes and squeezing Benny’s hand. As you breathed out, the needle went through. “Good job.” They cleaned everything up and let you see your new snake bites in the mirror.

“You took that like a champ, babe.” Benny praised you, kissing your cheek. You smiled softly at him through the mirror; anything bigger would make your mouth sore.

Your piercer took you to the front counter to pay. While you were grabbing your wallet, Benny gave them the money.

“Benny, I can pay for my own piercing.” You lightly scolded, but he didn’t take it to heart.

“You can take care of the tip.” He suggested it as a compromise, but this was routine. Every time you went out, he was quick enough to pay the bill before you, so you would give the tip. So because it was routine, you did it, and soon, the two of you were walking out of the shop.

“I can pay for my own things, you know.” You said again. Benny swung an arm over your shoulder, shrugging.

“Yeah, but look at it this way. You get the piercing you want, and I get to admire you even more than I thought I possibly could.”

“You’re such a dork.”

Sometimes he plays with your piercings

When they’re fully healed, of course

Half the time, Benny’s doing it absentmindedly, and the other half, he’s doing it for some kind of stimulation

Whenever he was exhausted, Benny, more often than not, would be using you as a pillow while you did something. Hands always found their way up your shirt while he rested on you. Luckily, he was always warm.

Occasionally, you’d feel a light tug on your belly button. Not enough to hurt, but enough to notice. And if you listened closely, there would be a tiny rattle of metal against metal.

Looking down at your stomach, you watched Benny play with your belly button piercing. He’d go from lightly flicking the jewelry to tapping, to twisting, and then back to flicking. He wasn’t even paying attention to his actions, eyes glued to the TV screen.

You smiled down at him, taking a hand to drag through his hair. He relaxed even more against you, sighing in relief. Benny kept playing with the jewelry, but more softly as your actions pulled him to sleep.

Whenever he sees a piece of jewelry that he thinks you’ll like, he gets it for you

Because of him, you have a big ass collection

Don’t even get me started on nipple piercings bro

[chewing-drywall]

How attractive I think the band are

*I am bisexual and mentally ill so take that as you will

Skiwsgaar- he's like a fine piece of art that I'd like to draw, he's beautiful objectively but speaking frankly I am FIVE FOOT NOTHING and his 6-foot-something tall ass would be LOOMING over me. Like I could not see him from any good angles if I was up close and that's the main reason. I mean hey he could help me get things from the top shelf I guess??(but yea also he probably has a multitude of stds that I don't really feel like potentially getting, same with any other member of the band I guess)

Toki- yea he's attractive, energetic personality, fucking shredded and likes cats and other crafty things (which is a plus for me). As a collector I like how decorated his room is. Either good or truly horrendous in the bedroom no inbetween. I however am not entirely into the facial hair, it's not something I could imagine on a real person existing. But yes he's hot he'd be an insane ass boyfriend though the baggage is INSANE

Nathan- I'd fuck him. I'd date him. I would be so good for him, please God I'd even get over my weird aversion to chips for him. He's like, not 100% my type, but he fits like 97% of it. He could throw me across the room, or so easily carry me it's got me giggling and kicking my feet. He's the guy I'd have a crush on in high school (more the ripped scary looking metalhead vibe than the football part). He's autistic and I'm autistic and unfortunately, we would probably clash on some ends but otherwise we would both use eachother as weighted blankets

Murderface- you know, I've seen some really fucking good fanart over time and honestly some of those art pieces I could get into. He's hot as a butch chick like ladyklok, and more alternative with some more piercings and hair maintenance and that'd really do it for me. I like his passion for his hobbies and his loyalty to his friends.

Magnus- freaknasty sex in like the back of a shitbox car or something. I don't think I would be sober but neither would he, not for anything long term but bro would give head like a champ and immediately ghost me afterwards which is expected

Charles- I TOOK HIM TO MY PENTHOUSE AND I FREAKED IT!!! you guys. I-, Like- let's be so honest he'd never be interested in me and I'm totally chill with that, however this is MY insane fantasy!!! And if I walked in a room with that man, locked it and came out three hours later one of us is gonna be pregnant and it's NOT! gonna be me

Pickles: (SORRY I FORGOT HIM GUYS CHARLES OVERTOOK ANY MENTAL FUNCTIONS)- his hair was one of the main reasons I didn't watch metalocalypse sooner, the goatee with the disconnected sideburns going up to smelly white people dread locks COMBOVER??? honey pick a struggle because good God. However. His confidence is attractive, any (good) fics I've read of him make him even more attractive considering his laid back personality (hiding buckets of anxiety me too twin), his sleeper build is definitely hot but I think his drug problem make him generally poor in bed considering he has whiskey dick and coordinations out the window, and has definitely vomited during sex before so that kinda doesn't work well. I mean sober though (hahaha when? I mean like 85% aware of his surroundings) he's probably a fantastic lay when he can lock in and concentrate. But yea he's pretty solidly attractive (ESPECIALLY the fanart of young pickles I want to tear into him like a chew toy)

Abigail- yea she's hot as fuck. Like you can't hate her her eyes are sooo pretty and she pulls of that pant suit too well. She would have me barking like a dog in a Walmart if she asked nicely enough. 100000/10

Knubbler-nah, not big into his personality or looks, also his eyes do freak me out slightly

[polo-drone-084]

Grayden's Golden Pokémon Tourney

Grayden was a Pokemon champ before joining the Golden Army. Right after joining he took a photo with his fan created Golden Pokemon. The one time mascot of his Twitch channel. But he stopped playing to focus on being the buff mascot the team needed. No more nerdy stuff.

After a few months with the team a thought filled Grayden's mind to help Scott and the bros recruit more members. What if he got his old nerdy friends to help him enter a Pokémon tournament and transform all the loser nerds there into Golden Army bros?

The team loved Grayden's plan, even if they thought he'd stand out in a crowd of nerds. They gave him a bunch of musky kits for the recruitment and wished Grayden luck.

Grayden's nerdy friends were eager to help after being subjected to Grayden's musk. He promised them a spot on the team too if he did well at the tournament.

Grayden was ready with his team of a shiny, golden Azumarill Custom gold Cinderace Already gold Gholdengho Custom gold Passimian Mascot Corviknight And his needed sweeper, the trusty Mamoswine.

The crowd of nerds were shocked as Grayden won match after match, easily advancing to the quarterfinals and then the semifinals.

They wondered how a jock like him was so good…

The semifinals were a close bout, best 2 out of three. After losing match one, Grayden was able to overcome, win out, and advance to the finals.

Before the final match, Grayden used his status to advertise the team. A bunch of eager nerds took the golden kits not even knowing they were becoming members of the team. It didn't take long until Grayden had a large group of golden nerds cheering him on, but he could tell the kits were making them all more muscular, one was even drooling.

As Grayden went up to face his final opponent he noticed the nerd smiling back at him. He introduced himself as Jon and congratulated Grayden for overcoming the odds and making it this far. Grayden thanked Jon, while also thinking how good he would look in gold, before taking his place for the bout of 5 matches.

The matches started with Jon winning match one, then Grayden winning matches two and three. Jon clutched a win in match 4 bringing it to a tiebreaking fifth round.

Grayden's sweeper, Mamoswine made quick work of half of Jon's team before Jon retaliated back taking out Mamoswine, Passimian, Azumarill, and Corviknight with an overpowered Tinkaton. But Grayden's Cinderace, the soccer bunny Pokemon was a great counter knocking out the hammer wielding Tinkaton and Jon's fifth Pokemon. Until it came down to a two-on-one. It looked like Grayden had this clinched until down went Cinderace.

Grayden was left with the Golden Pokemon, Gholdengo. Sure it was more oriented towards snowboarding, but the gold of the mon made him love it as his ace. The match continued, until finally with one well time Shadow Ball… Grayden won it all.

The fans were cheering and the announcers were in shock.

Grayden invited his fellow quarterfinalists to join him on stage. He noticed all of them, except Jon we're already wearing the golden kits of the team. The 6 transformed nerds were given new names to themselves as Ryan, Michael, Matt, Danny, Drew, and Luke.

Grayden congratulated Ryan who had 60 on his jersey (his transformed semifinals opponent) on a good third place finish, saying he'll make a great member of the Golden Army. Ryan hugged his new bro before returning to the sidelines.

You'd expect the crowd to be shocked, but most of them had also been transformed. And some just didn't care, thinking it was just a marketing gimmick.

Then Grayden looked at Jon. The nerd was so handsome, he'd be even more handsome as a jock like him. He handed Jon a jersey with the number 89 on it and gave him a long celebratory hug as Jon transformed. It didn't take long for Jon to become Jordan.

The announcers didn't know how to react, but they just congratulated Grayden Gold for his winning team.

Grayden took the mic and thanked The Golden Army, Captain Richard, and his nerdy friend Justin who he was sure would get a nice reward.

Grayden hoisted up the trophy and his new bros stood behind. He wasn't only a Pokémon Master, he was a fucking hot stud who just recruited over a dozen new bros for the team. He knew Scott and Captain Richard would be proud.

Grayden happily walked into the team locker room. Placing his trophy in the trophy case.

Behind him followed Jordan 89, Ryan 60, and the newly transformed Justice 37 who used to be Grayden's nerdy friend, Justin.

It wouldn't take long for the team to embrace their new bros. And Grayden knew plenty more weren't far behind.

[ndoandou]

Ikevamp bois playing modern games part 2

Vincent

Vincent is way into.. gartic phone

Qnd perhaps skribble.io

Like way into it

He would sit down 12 hours in front of the computer and guess what HES BEEN PLAYING GARTIC PHONE AND SKRIBBLE.IO IN A LOBBY OF RANDOMS

12 HRS IN HES STILL NOT DONE WITH BOTH GAMES

Hed obv speedrun a drawing in a short period of time and manage to make it look *chefs kiss*

Imagine if skribble.io had a vc feature tho

No no, like imagine if people were actually toxic in this goofy ahh game

They would yell down vincent down the mic telling him to go play with photoshop

Randoms are salty that vincent can draw and portray even the most ridicilous prompts which results him with the highest score always

Not to mention hes really good at guessing even the shittiest drawimgs from other ppl

"Broer how- that persons drawing looks ridicilous, even arthur's dog could draw that"

"Don't be mean theo! I could guess the drawing from the emotional connection i felt from it"

Jean

Jean has a shitty brick nokia phone

And he really loves playing snake II

No im serious

Well i suppose momte doesnt trust him with any other phones than that

the last time he was given a smartphone he downloaded some hack and slash game

took the word slash literally and then proceeded to cut the phone into two

comte was too stunned to speak

momte didn’t want his kids to miss out on gadgets but he cant have jean destroying his smartphone

BINGO! a nokia 3310 it is! 

jean didnt know how to react at first, but he found it easier to navigate and thats when he found out baout snake II

found it a bit pointless at first but despite saying that, he doesnt realize that thats the only thing he does besids fencing

snake II is his pre workout

the only thing he will be doing before his fencing practice

before meals

and before bed

‘‘jean are you sure you haven’t had enough of snake II..?’‘ comte asked causiously as he never know how his son Jean would react

jean looked at comte and stayed silent for a hot minute

‘‘no’‘

Napoleon

OK FLASH BACK TO MY E BOY NAPOLEON FANART FROM 2021

its official

He plays league of legends

Napoleon is deffo a jungle/top main

Jungle preferabbly

Bros actually cracked coz hed turn any non meta champs into an absolute beast

I see him being especially good with pantheon jungle

Hed play league with jean tbh

And jean would be a dedicated top

But i dont see jean being the best player..

No, like imagine napoleon defending jean from "top troll" and getting spammed "?" On his lane

Napo would literally go to that persons lane just to steal their minion last hits

If hes feeling extra hed even use pantheons ult to yeet over to that player to ks all the minions on that person's lane 😭

"Jgl troll gg"

Ok napo is actually not toxic and is rly nice to play with

Hed even supp for you if ur learning a new champ

Hes only toxic to people who are toxic to his buddies

Comte

Ill be honest

Comte looks like someone who would download all games from every ad pop up he gets

And im talking about anything gacha related

He does not care whether the game is explicit or not as long as he can collect pretty characters

Is he interested in the gameplay??? Probably not.

"For what reason did you spend $$$$$$ on xxx game???" Leonardo asked as he scrolled through comte's in game billings, cocking an eyebrow

"Hm? Well i simply wanted to collect all of these lovely looking characters."

"Without leveling up your characters?"

"Non"

"Do you understand how to play this game?"

Comte only looked at him with his unwavering smile

"honestly this is the most ridicilous spending ive witness from you, heh" Leo snorted

"Much appreciated, but i dont recal asking for any input, old friend" comte retorted

Leo looked at him and sighed

"Honestly at this point i shouldn't be surprised"

.

.

This took me forever to upload because i coulndn't figure what type of game comte would play then one day i was like AHAAAAA

Also i didn't proof read as always so pls dont chop my head off :"))

[catchyhuh]

TOUCH O THE TISM

lupin’s brain is fucked up! let’s talk about it

and i mean TALK talk about it baby. everyone’s experience with their brain makeup shit is different, and there are many different “symptoms”/traits that tend to overlap between. are they still called mental illnesses. states of mind. conditions? awugh no that sounds even worse. WHATEVER THIS IS ME SAYING this is less about the medical diagnoses, this is just the manifestations of SOME type of neurodivergency that shine through in their weirdo behaviors, habits, and mindscapes. now let’s really go here:

lupin: 

we have discussed before his uncanny ability to shut down literally everything to hyperfixate on one task. sometimes for weeks at a time like IN canon, IN canon he will do this shit and not stop until a) he’s reached his goal/the endpoint, or b) he is physically forcibly removed from the subject in question

this will sound nuts to you but i think lupin is sound sensitive. yes i know but listen. he’s always the first to wince/recoil at a loud sound, even if he’s not TRULY bothered by it-- ex: zenigata shouts, lupin KNOWS he’s going to shout, anticipates the volume, even, but still tenses up, even though he’s grinning and actively enjoying the fact that he brought that upon himself. so, to balance that, lupin has decided he’s just going to be louder than whatever’s out there that could bother him. you may have noticed the company he shares hotel rooms with is almost always reserved and quiet unless he is the one instigating and encouraging the rowdiness. boom baby case and point.

all in all it’s surprisingly only something you notice if you spend a significant amount of time around him. he’s autistic i promise. its just. well. he’s hyperfixated on cash and his special interest is getting bitches

jigen:

jigen is very picky. and i mean cheers i’ll drink to that. nobody touch him. nobody speak too loud. nobody fuck with how he likes his drink. nobody touch his gun (you’ll mess it up) NOBODY DO ANYTHING. save for a very, very select few. 

light sensitive. not very shocking given the fact his hat is almost more of a signature item for him than his magnum but ANYWAY! it’s why he’s so particular that it must be HIS hat!! the thickness, the way it sits, the way it shadows his eyes especially, all of this is important. “but wait” you could hypothetically maybe be saying, “wouldn’t that extend to his bangs? in the whole shielding him from the light sense. wouldn’t it just make more sense if he always kept his bangs over his eyes like that?” yes! you’re so right if you were saying that! i don’t know why you would be but regardless. uh, yeah, it would make the most sense for him to ALWAYS have them pushed over his eyes, but. have you ever sacrificed comfort for fashion. that slicked back look is NICE dude

all n all jigen is the “‘Nobody had Autism until recently’ right cuz your grandpa who only wore the same type of shirt, took the same sandwich to work every day and knows everything about the inner workings of a 1979 Ferrari was SO neurotypical” meme. 

fujiko:

absolute. crown champ of masking. what the fuck. i don’t even think she herself has realized because all of it has been pushed down for so long. which part of this might just be, sorry if this is too realistic and boring but like. diagnosis sexism? people do not notice neurodivergent traits in girls as easily. or that’s what they SAY but they somehow schoolyard bullies can pick up on it very easily! point being, they say that with girls it tends to manifest as talkativeness in the right environments, but when suppressed in those formative years, those girls grow up into women who have a million things to say but only say two of them, meaning her mind is just SWIMMING with insane thoughts and shit. that’s how you get fujikos bro. you have to let that little girl be weird and explain spyro the dragon in exact detail to you or she’ll grow up to be a calculated murderer/world famous thief

now if you actually brought it up she would dismiss you and make some remark like “not wanting polyester to touch your skin isn’t a sensory issue, it’s a lifestyle choice” which. ok yeah haha good one fujicakes but i’ve noticed that you tend to favor dresses/shirts that leave your arms free without any fabric brushing on them, and for someone who’s so focused on the VALUE of fashion you’re cutting the insewn tags off these clothes..? what’s that about baby where did that come from? yeah the joke about “oh yes i totally wear heels because i hate my soles touching the ground, not because i just happen to love high fashion” was funny but you actually do tend to walk around on the balls of your feet barefoot too. that’s not good for you fujiko that can do damage to the nerves in your legs (yes really if you’re reading this and you do that it can cause permanent issues in your legs SO TRY TO BREAK THAT HABIT IF POSSIBLE)

also traces of hyperfixating, just not as obviously visible as it is with lupin. with fujiko it’s almost undercover. like, reading her phone under the table, just happening to suggest watching this one movie that happened to be praised for how accurately it replicates the layout of this one museum the gang has been thinking about infiltrating, a few hyperspecific books mixed in with standard romance schlock she’s most definitely not reading from the library just to pad out that receipt. it’s not so much a conscious choice to microdose feeding the beast so to speak, it’s more that she’s forced herself to commit more to her image than anything, so she’s accidentally pacing herself like that

goemon:

MENTIONED BEFORE BUT WE BELIEVE IN TOUCH AVERSE GOEMON IN THIS HOUSE! DO NOT BE BUGGING THIS GUY SLINGING YOUR ARM AROUND HIS SHOULDER OR YOU WILL GET CHOPPED IN THE GUT!! unless you are one of a select few (are you noticing a trend with the collection here) might also partially be a texture thing too, because i can’t think of another reason someone would subject themselves to the insanely uncomfortable plan of wearing your normal clothes UNDER a tuxedo despite the fact you have to squeeze that giant billowing fabric in there

“bbububut i thought autistic people struggled with eye contact” not goemon ishikawa the 13th bitch. you are getting intensely stared at like a claw machine just barely dangling the prize over the pit. he wants you to know he’s paying attention! he’s listening! sure he might be paying attention to see if he can pick up on nervous tics to tell if you’re lying, and maybe he’s listening that intently to catch you when you slip up, BUT HEY, we don’t know that! to his credit goemon only SOMETIMES realizes how intimidating this can be, and only SOMETIMES intentionally weaponizes it, but… still, very intense eye contact

hell man aside from his stubbornness and pride even his picky food taste might tie into this a bit. anybody who’s been hooked on one specific “safe food” for like two months gets it, especially the fact that goemon can instantly tell when the food is “wrong.” if you cooked this meat for two seconds too long, if you didn’t let the rice sit long enough, if you cheaped out and used some generic alternative-- well on that last one he might not blame you as much because this economy IS pretty rough, but the point is, he can immediately tell and WILL tell the chef to their face “you did this wrong. do better next time.” unfortunately most people don’t take kindly to that and because of goemon’s nature when he’s caught off guard he’ll go “sorry. sorry just let me… let me show you i suppose” and next thing he knows he’s teaching an impromptu cooking course. we went kinda off the rails on this one didn’t we. oops!

zenigata:

if monkey punch meant it when he said “zenigata can���t be stupid, because that would mean lupin is stupid,” then because lupin is insane, zenigata must also, naturally, be insane, in some of the same flavors

the main thing about him is that he’s so damn resilient he doesn’t actually SAY anything unless he really wants to complain. he might be thinking “god why is cottage cheese like this. this is kind of gross” but he’ll still EAT it, “the sun is WAY too bright and i lost my hat AGAIN this fucking SUCKS” but he’s stlil going to be outside because he knows he HAS to be out there. toughing it out and only SLIGHTLY whining about it. really the only time he makes it known outside of offhanded grumbly complaints is when lupin is the source of it. if lupin is like bouncing his leg in the passenger side of the cop car (because god forbid he stuff him in the backseat right) zenigata just grabs his knee and stares at him until lupin is like “oh oops! sorry. is that distracting?” and then 10 minutes later he starts it up again. the line between ‘this is driving my brain insane’ and ‘i just have beef with anything that brings you, personally, delight” is very thin

but ironically zenigata can’t stay still very long himself either. if he’s been stuck sitting for more than 25 minutes he can feel his insides shrinking up and withering away. maybe that’s why he chews on shit like a hyena gnawing off its own leg to escape predators. anything to get the zoomies out dude. 

i don’t have to tell you that this bitch is also dangerously intensely hyperfixating right. i don’t have to go into this? like you. we’re looking at the same guy here. right? okay. so long as this point is understood