#he even drove me home the night before yesterday as well

[giannaln4]

For you? Anything.

lando norris x fem reader

summary: Even during the worst week of you life, and no matter how tired he is, Lando would do anything to make you feel better.  (2.6k words)

warnings: fluff, established relationship, language.

a/n: And we are back to our regular schedule! Kinktober is officially over (kinda, more context here) so it's time to post regular fics. So, I wrote this sometime last week before the shit show of yesterday's race so that's why there are no mentions of it, but I do have some planned about that so we'll see when I can work on them. Anyway, this is for me and all the girlies who have been feeling stressed about work, let me know what you think!

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What a week it has been for you. You had done nothing but work on a stupid project your boss put you in charge of. It was very short notice, and the due date was creeping up on you faster than you would’ve liked. 

The good thing is Lando had been away for weeks due to his job; not that you didn’t want to see him or that he was a distraction, nothing like that, but you always preferred to be with him instead of working, which isn’t something you would be able to do this time due to the amount of things you had to go over, but with the house all to yourself, you had the chance to get tons of work done.

It was finally the day of the presentation; you were supposed to pitch the finished project to management and honestly, you weren’t 100% confident in the job you had done. Usually, you were never too harsh on yourself, but with so little time to work on it, you knew there were some parts here and there that could’ve used a little more of your attention, but it was either use what you already have or show up with an unfinished project, so that would have to do. It wasn’t terrible; you were sure of that, but these people always found something to complain about.

You were there for only a few minutes before you were dismissed. What a fucking joke, you thought.

You didn’t even get half the presentation done, and the old dudes sitting across from you were already attacking you with questions, questions that didn’t even make sense or barely fit the theme of what you were trying to talk about. 

Your boss was the one to send you out, saying something like “You have another week; we hope you’ll be more prepared next time,” before standing up and leaving the cold conference room, followed by the rest of the men that were surrounding him.

Only minutes after going back to your office you saw him come in, giving you notes on the things he thought you should work on. As the polite girl that you are, you just nodded and wrote down whatever he was saying, apologising for not turning it up on time, but as soon as he left, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling down your face, ruining your make-up in the process. You still had half of your day ahead of you, so you calmed down, washed your face, and went back to work like nothing happened.

At the end of the day, however, that’s a different story. You went back home completely devastated. All those sleepless nights you spent with your nose buried in your laptop felt like a total waste. 

As you drove back home, you tried your best to hold the tears, but it was getting harder by the second, especially with each step you took down the hall that led to the door of your apartment, and when you made it there, you started crying as soon as you closed the door behind you.

You instantly got rid of your uncomfortable clothes and got into one of Lando’s shirts, curling up in your bed and letting all that consuming and irrational feeling of failure sink in. You knew you weren’t a failure; you were well aware of your worth, but you couldn’t help but feel like that after miserably failing the presentation you worked so hard on.

Suddenly, the front door opening pulled you out of your thoughts. You let out a loud sigh as you left the bed. You knew it was Lando coming back from his last race, and any other day you would’ve been happy to see him, running to the door to greet him with a hug like he deserved, but right now, you didn't want him to have to see you in that pathetic state.

You stared at yourself in the mirror for a moment, sighing again when you realised how obvious it was that you had been crying, so you’d just have to avoid eye contact.

“Hi baby,” Lando greeted you with his usual pretty smile as he entered your room.

"Hey,” you replied, immediately turning around and walking towards your desk, sitting facing away from Lando as you opened your laptop.

“Did you sleep okay last night? How did your presentation go?” He walked closer to you and wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug, kissing your temple.

“It was okay.” He stopped when he noticed your heavy mood. 

"You alright, love? You seem down." His brows were slightly furrowed as he tried to make eye contact.

​​"Yeah, fine. I think I’m just gonna work on it a little more; there were some things missing that I need to include," you replied, clearly lacking energy.

“Hey now, let’s not do that." Lando turned the chair over to make you face him. He looked down and noticed your glossy eyes, a worried feeling growing inside him. “Talk to me, please. What’s wrong?”

You just shook her head briefly, a lip-tight smile covering your face. “Everything’s fine.”

“Y/N…” The slip of your name past his lips made you want to cry again. Of course you wanted to be comforted by your boyfriend, but you didn’t like the thought of him having to pick up the pieces anytime you messed up. As a tear rolled down your face, you realised that you didn't have the energy or even the desire to push him away “Oh baby, come here.”

Lando took your hand as he sat on the floor next to you, pulling you onto his lap. Your face was now buried in his black hoodie, the tears wetting it instantly as he brushed a hand softly up and down your back.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you." He would understand if you didn’t want to talk about it but would still like to know what was happening. If there was anything he could do to help, he would gladly do it. “Do you wanna talk?”

“I just-” A sob cut you off, “I- I couldn’t do it, even after everything I did, it wasn’t enough.”

“Is this about your presentation?” He asked, his voice softer than ever, and you simply nodded. “It’s alright-”

“No, Lando, it’s not alright. I worked hard to get it together, to get it ready for days and nights and I still failed, I’m so stupid-”

“Hey, baby, look at me," he interrupted you, pulling back a bit and gently lifting your chin to look into your eyes. “You know that’s not true; you’re so smart, and I've always admired your beautiful mind. You gave it your best, like you said, you worked really hard, and even if you didn’t get the reaction you deserved, you know I’m right here.” You simply nodded at his words as the back of your hand wiped some of the tears. “Why didn’t you wanna tell me?”

"Because I don't want you to be disappointed in me like I am right now." You looked down to your lap as more tears fell from your tired eyes.

“You should know that I could never be disappointed in you, Y/N. You are so intelligent and kind; I’ve never met anyone with such a beautiful soul, so I don't ever want you to feel down about yourself because you are perfect." You felt both of Lando’s large hands caress either side of your face, bringing it up so he could look into your eyes again as he swiped at the tears that had managed to escape from your eyes.

The slight smile that had formed on your tear-stained face told Lando that his words meant something to you, and they did. “You’re only saying that because you’re my boyfriend.”

“No, I’m your boyfriend for all those reasons." You giggled slightly. “And I’m sure that no one would disagree with me.”

“My boss would.”

“What does he know?” That made you laugh again, making Lando smile, a smile so sincere that told you he believed everything he just said.

"Thank you, baby, even though you’re being a little biased." You sniffled as you gently stroked the hand that was still on your cheek, keeping your eyes locked with his “I love you.”

“I love you more,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead. You took a deep breath, feeling a lot calmer than you did five minutes ago as you looked at your laptop briefly. 

“I should probably get back to work, though; I have to basically remake the whole thing and meet with them again next week.”

“What? Right now?”

“Yes, right now. I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna go to bed? You look pretty tired. We can cuddle, I know we both need it.”

“I would love to,” your gaze fell on your bed momentarily; it looked so comfortable, and it was literally calling your name, “but I really need to get this done, and I have to do it right this time. I don’t wanna be embarrassed again in front of a bunch of old dudes.”

You stood up from his lap and sat back on your desk, focusing on the screen in front of you as you began to analyse what you should take out and what you needed to add. 

Lando just sighed. He knew there was no way he would get you to stop working if you already set your mind to it, but honestly, he thought he would get to spend every second with you once he got back home, so needless to say, he was a little disappointed that wasn’t the case.

He got it though; your job was important for you, and you would never settle for anything unless it was perfect. What made his blood boil was the fact that your boss had the nerve to make you feel like you weren't worth it. 

“Did you eat something already?” He asked you, getting up from the floor and wrapping his arms around you once again.

“Uh- I’m not really hungry.”

“Why don’t I cook something for us? What do you say?”

“It’s okay, baby, you should go to bed.” You tilted your head to look at him and give him a quick kiss. “I know you are tired, the triple header couldn’t have been easy.”

You started collecting your things so you could take over a different part of the apartment. He had been travelling for weeks; it wouldn’t be fair to keep him up just because you needed to get work done.

“Where are you going?”

“To your office, if that’s okay. I really don’t want to bother you.”

“You’re not-”

“Lan, I’ll be okay, I promise. Just go to bed, don’t worry about me.” Taking a few steps closer to him, you gave him a loving hug, “I love you.”

You left the room, holding everything in your hands as Lando just stood in the same spot. There was no way he would go to bed without you, not when you were feeling so down and it was clear you just needed to take a break.

Taking a deep breath, he started to make a plan in his head. He took the quickest shower of his life and got into something comfy, praying there was food, or more specifically, ingredients to cook you something that he wouldn’t mess up and that you would enjoy.

Everything seemed to be on his side when he found everything he needed to make some Alfredo. Everything was pretty much premade, so he knew he wouldn’t ruin it. He happily got to work, setting up a nice dinner as he hummed one of the songs that had been stuck in his head for who knows how long. 

In the office, you were nearly breaking your head as you read the information you had over and over again. You kind of knew what it needed to be since your boss gave you a few specific notes, but then again, you weren’t feeling completely confident in your own ideas. 

You didn’t realise you had been locked away for over an hour, your eyes getting insanely tired as you typed away. A break was needed and well deserved, and you were aware of this, but somehow it didn’t feel like you were making any progress, even though you had been working non-stop and you had already readjusted about half of the project.

A loud sigh escaped your lips as you abruptly closed your laptop, your face falling to your hands as your eyes felt wet yet again. That was it; there was no way you could keep going. You needed to grab a quick snack and head straight to bed. You did have an early morning the next day after all. 

Just as you were gathering all your strength to get up, you heard the door open, making you jump a bit.

“Fuck, you scared the shit out of me.” You laughed as your hand fell on your heart.

“Sorry, love. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he giggled, walking towards you.

“What are you doing still awake? I thought you went to bed.” 

“I couldn’t sleep without you. Are you almost done here?” He looked at your closed laptop, celebrating internally as he assumed you were done working for the night. 

“Yeah, I guess. My brain stopped working, so I thought my future self can worry about the rest tomorrow.”

“Good. Come here.” He extended his hand out to you, which you happily took. “Please stop overworking yourself, you know this isn’t healthy.”

“I know,” you let out a sigh as you accepted his embrace. “I’m seriously thinking about quitting. Who knows, maybe I’ll find something that doesn’t make me feel this stressed all the time.”

His hand was caressing your back softly as he pulled away to look down at you. “You know you can, right? And I really think you should. I make enough to support the both of us and even a family in the future... Baby, you don’t have to keep working there if you don’t want to.”

His words made a smile appear on your face. Not because he was offering to basically support you for the rest of your life, but because he brought having a family with you. “You know I’d never let you do that-”

“But if you do want to quit and just take a break, you can do that too,” he interrupted you. You nodded, seriously considering it, but that was something you would have to think about and have a serious conversation in the future if you ever did decide to do it.

“We’ll see. Right now, I just need something to eat and some sleep. I have to get up early tomorrow.”

“Speaking about dinner, I made something for you.”

He took your hand and guided you to the dining room, a big smile on his face as he proudly showed off the beautiful set-up and the (hopefully) delicious dinner he managed to cook. He looked back at you expectantly, but his happiness quickly turned into a worried look when he noticed tears falling from your eyes again. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, a hand softly falling on your cheek as he leaned down. 

You were out of words; you truly didn’t know what to say. This is just what you needed, and the fact that he went out of his way to do it for you meant a lot more than he could ever imagine.

“I- Lando, this is-” you cut yourself off when you couldn’t find the right thing to say, so you just jumped in his arms and gave him the tightest hug ever. “Thank you for everything. And I mean everything.”

He let out a sigh of relief, hugging you back as he buried his head on the crook of your neck. “For you, my love, I’d do anything.”

[featherandferns]

orange juice (fic)

jj maybank x fem!reader | inspired by noah kahn's incredible music

content warning: mentions of drinking and drug use; mentions of abuse; mentions of bodily harm (vague, non-graphic); sexual content | feel free to message me with questions of detail if any of this concerns you before reading!

word count: 7.5k

blurb: in the most unlikely of settings, you and JJ reunite after five years apart in radio silence.

“You know, on my way here, I saw a dead rat.”

A cloud of cigarette smoke dispels into the air.

“It was funny, you know? Cause I felt bad that it was dead, even though it was a rat. I mean, I knew nobody was going to miss it, and that it didn’t have any rat family or friends which would mourn it or anything. But still…It looked like it had been hit by a car, and it was only small so it didn’t look very old, and it seemed so harmless lying there. It probably had a million and one diseases, but just laying there, it seemed harmless. And it felt weird to be sad about this thing dying which would have only maybe caused more damage if it had stayed alive – nibbling through electrical wires and all that.”

JJ takes another drag of his cigarette as he digests the anecdote.

“Anyway. This just made me think of that,” you quietly finish before sinking back into the silence.

“Did you just compare my dad’s funeral to a dead rat?”

You clear your throat. JJ watches in his peripheral as you look down at your feet and fidget your fingers.

“Shit, I guess I did.”

His eyes cut ahead the moment yours seem to flick up.

“Can’t believe that’s the first thing I’ve said to you in years.”

JJ inhales and exhales the nicotine of his cigarette. “Well, I can.”

That makes you laugh. Small and sheltered.

“I weren’t sure that you were going to come,” JJ tells you.

“Could say the same thing to you,” you reply.

Sighing, he drops the cigarette and crushes it under the heel of his boot. He probably should have worn smarter shoes. But then, why would he? Waste of money and space in his truck. Not like his dad was going to see them anyway.

“I only decided yesterday. Practically drove all night.” As if reminding himself of the sleep deprivation, JJ lets out a yawn.

“How is it, being back in Kildare?” you wonder.

JJ shrugs. “Weird. But also not weird at all. I guess I just feel old. I was driving through town and everything looks different.”

“I mean, it has been five years.”

“Jesus,” JJ chuckles, shaking his head. Had it really been that long?

He shoves his hands in his pant pockets and finally finds the nerve to take you in. His eyes scan over you like one might survey potential damage to a car after a close call. He never lets them go below your waist though. As if losing nerve, he flicks them back up to your head and meets your eyes.

“You look well.”

“Thanks. Right back at ya,” you smile.

With that smile – sweet and simple – JJ finds himself being hurled back through time to his teen years. The reminiscing of his youth and the memories that your presence stirs up feels like reflecting on a past life. Something that he almost had, and something that he didn’t exactly lose, but something that changed.

Everything had changed, really. The streets that he used to drive down with his friends, running away from security and darting to and from keggers and house parties, they all had new homes, new paint, new families. Old mom-and-pop shops were now trendy smoothie spots and hippie bars. Empty plots of land that were a good spot to share a joint had now been bought and developed into stylish holiday rentals. None of JJ’s family was left here, not even his cousin. None of his friends were here anymore either. Well, except for you. Is that what you were to him? A friend?

“It was a nice service,” you say.

“Was it?”

For someone like Luke Maybank, ‘nice’ is probably a generous term for a funeral service that’s void of cheery anecdotes and tender memories. It’s a shame that all the memories JJ held in high regard of his father – of the moments that they were bonded and close – often came with the overarching theme of alcohol or drugs. He wasn’t sure there was ever a genuine moment shared between the two. Whatever praise and pride he gathered from his dad was short lived and sparse. When his dad left the island on the boat he stole, JJ never heard from him again. And now he never would.

“Did they ask if you wanted to say anything?”

“What’s there to say? He was a guy and he died in a bender. Short and simple, I guess.”

You nod and go silent once more.

JJ knows that his answer evaded the politeness markers of small talk, but it was true. Luke Maybank was a human who lived on this earth with no mark to be left apart from those which he laid on his own child. The only way that he’d be remembered was in the nightmares that still sometimes have JJ waking up in cold sweats and reaching for the box of cigarettes by his bed.

“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have come,” you say.

“No, it’s not…” JJ shakes his head and offers you a smile, but he knows it looks unnatural. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling right now. Perhaps everything, if that’s even possible. “I’m glad you came. I’m just tired and…well, you know.”

The funeral of my father.

“Right. Of course.”

He watches you tuck your hair behind your ears and glance towards the graves. He remembers how you used to do that when you were both younger. It was funny to him: you’d go through the fuss of trying your hair back in one way or another, but you’d always leave out a couple of strands. “To frame my face” you’d tell him, and then you’d precede to spend the rest of the day tucking your hair behind your ears. He liked it though. When you’d be concentrating on something, like surfing or fixing something up or writing, you’d lean forward and they’d come lose and hang over your pretty features. He’d want to mess with them; tuck them behind your ears for you. Sometimes he did. He remembers when you’d be on top of him, kissing him senseless, and they’d come lose and tickle his face. Somehow it would make the whole thing more sensual, with his laughs and your giggles.

He feels his face flush as the memories of nights like those creep back into his head. He shouldn’t think of you like that, not after all this time. Not with how things turned out. And especially not at his father’s funeral.

JJ had come over to you once his father was safely tucked away in the ground, six feet under. You’d attended the service at the church, hiding near the back, and then the burial, and as everybody else departed to give JJ ‘a moment’ (whatever the hell that meant), he’d turned to find you stood near a bench, lost in thought.

“It was nice of you to come,” JJ thanks.

“I’m surprised none of the others are here.”

“They don’t know. I sort of kept it close to the chest,” JJ admits. “I’m actually impressed by the turnout.”

You go to laugh and JJ sees you stifle it. It helps him ease up, smile a real smile for a second, as wicked as that sounds.

“People have layers, I guess.”

“Not my dad.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

You meet his gaze again. Your eyes make it clear that you haven’t shed a tear and neither had JJ. He wasn’t sure if maybe that would come later, once the so-called shock had worn off. He doubted it though. And yet, there was a haze of sadness about him. Death is weird as a whole. The death of a parent like JJ’s, even weirder. Maybe it wasn’t just the funeral causing the sadness. Maybe it was you.

JJ makes a move to leave but before he can even shift his foot one whole step, you’re talking.

“Do you wanna come back to mine? We could catch up. I’m sure you’ve been doing all sorts since I last saw you. Maybe have a drink or two, for old times’ sake?”

“Oh, I don’t drink anymore.”

“Oh,” you say. A pause for thought, then, “well, I have orange juice.”

It’s a strange thing to offer in place of a bottle of beer or glass of wine. Most people would say a cup of coffee. But no - orange juice: that’s where your mind went. It makes JJ smile. It seems so on-par for you to offer him that.

“Okay. Sure. Orange juice sounds good.”

“Do you need a moment, before we leave?” you ask, glancing back over your shoulder to the gravesite of JJ’s deceased father.

The dirt atop of his plot is fresh and stark brown against the green grass. JJ stares a second. The groundkeeper is dusting some muck off the gravestone. The funeral director had offered him a fine granite with award winning chiselling, after recognising JJ from the articles of El Dorado and assuming some high-placed budget. JJ had opted for a simple thing though. Cheap and likely to be hard to read within half a decade. It’s what Luke deserved. Probably what he would have invested into JJ, if the roles were reversed.

“No, I don’t. We can go,” JJ says, voice vacant. He looks back to you. “I’ll drive.”

You don’t live in your childhood home anymore. The place that you’ve settled in is a small home in a sweet looking neighbourhood. In fact, it seems the only part of Kildare that feels familiar to JJ. The front garden is quaint but well kept, with trimmed grass and flower beds that clearly garner a lot of attention and care. The fence is in need of a lick of paint: the blue fading and peeling. A sticky note is attached to the door frame of the front door and it makes JJ smile. ‘Doorbell’s fucked – shout “ding dong” really loud’.

“This is a step up,” JJ says.

“Nice, right? My neighbour is a dick though. Always complaining that I leave my driveway light on in the middle of the night. As if I can even afford to that.”

JJ chuckles as he follows you inside. There’s an instant warm smell that hits him. JJ can’t seem to describe it in any other way than that it smells like you. The interior is safe and homely. The wallpaper and wooden floors pair nicely with the throw pillows and crystals and plants and flowers. Fairy lights are strung from end to end. A kitchen, open plan, feeds nicely into a sitting room. A dining table is tucked in the corner which seemingly functions more as a desk: books piled atop with sheets of paper strewn out. There’s a small corridor to the right and the walls are lined with framed pictures which JJ can’t make out from where he’s stood. He assumes it must lead to a bathroom and bedroom. It isn’t unlived in though. There’s a small pile of clothes which need ironing; they’re sat in a basket, next to the TV. Near the backdoor is an arts and crafts project of some kind strewn about on the floor in organised chaos, blocking the exit.

It's still early in the afternoon so you don’t bother flicking on a light, instead opting to soak in the last few hours of daylight before dusk. Kie used to compare you to a cat, basking in the sun and chasing the rays until there was none left to follow.

JJ closes the door behind him and leans against it.

“You can take your shoes off, if you want.”

“Alright,” he mumbles. He toes them off and kicks them to the side, amongst a pile of your own. He notices how there’s nobody else’s shoes there: just yours, and now his.

You pour out two glasses of orange juice and turn around, handing one to him. He takes it, lost in thought. It all feels surreal, stood here with you, after a five-year pause. When you go to the sofa to sit, he assumes he should follow. You sit on opposite ends. A part of him wonders why you haven’t stretched out your legs and dumped your feet in his lap. ‘These stink’, JJ jokes, poking your toes. You wiggle his fingers off. ‘Shut up, no they don’t.’ Force of habit: he always seems to get stuck on that past. Instead, you go to pull one of your legs up onto the sofa, and JJ flicks his eyes around the room another time. He sips his juice.

“So…” You start. “Any news?”

“Well, my dad died, so there’s that.”

You kick out your leg, aiming for his thigh. “Come on now. Be serious.”

“I am; you were at the funeral. Thought you might remember that,” JJ jokes.

Rolling your eyes mirthfully, you have a sip of your juice. The sun paints shapes on the coffee table, weaving through the thin curtains that line your window. It makes your skin glow, healthy and happy. He’s torn between staring at your face and remembering every detail of your features and avoiding you completely.

“When did you move in here? It’s nice.”

“About two years ago. Mom and dad are still at the old place. They’ve rented out my room though, for tourists and stuff.”

“That’s nice of them,” JJ snorts. “How’s your brother? Is he doing good?”

“He is. He’s at college actually. Graduates later this year.”

“The fuck? That’s so trippy,” JJ mumbles, almost to himself.

JJ can remember your brother as nothing more than a preteen, sulking around the house and begging for rides to soccer practice. Now he’s nearly got a whole ass degree. His eyes naturally fixate on the dining-table-come-desk in the corner.

“What do you do for work then?”

“I’m a teacher at Kildare high.”

Of course you are. JJ smiles, eyes still fixated on the table. It seems to prompt you to continue.

“It’s kinda weird sometimes cause some of the old farts still work there,” you say.

“Oh shit. Mr Rumble still there?” JJ asks, perking up a little, meeting your gaze.

You laugh. “Mr Rummel does still work there, yeah. Still likes to bring you up to me, actually.”

“Really? In what way?”

“Just likes to add the odd little ‘you remember when your boyfriend used to steal my stapler’ kinda things.”

JJ’s laugh is different this time. The word ‘boyfriend’ coming out of your mouth has his thoughts short circuiting. You glance down at your juice and swirl it around the cup.

“Anyway, it’s a pretty good gig. I like teaching, and I actually think I’m making a difference to some of these kids lives sometimes, which is sort of strange.”

“I bet you are. You were always good at helping people,” JJ tells you. Your smile turns soft.

“Thanks, JayJ.”

The nickname is like another sucker punch to the chest. JJ takes it like a champ. Washes it down with water; pretends there’s vodka in there somewhere.

“How are the others, then?” you ask. “How are they?”

“Good. Happy. John B and Sarah are expecting a kid soon.”

“Fuck off.”

“No joke,” JJ laughs. He leans back into the sofa, reclining in the soft throw pillows. It’s strange how easily relaxed he is in this new setting. “They’re debating between two names. Esmeralda or Eton.”

“No. Please God, tell me you’re joking.”

“I wish,” JJ snorts. “Not that I got much of a leg to stand on.”

“What do you mean?” you frown. You lean over and place your juice down on the coffee table.

“JJ? Kinda dumb name.” JJ has a sip of his own before mirroring your actions.

“Hardly. ‘John James’ is pretty proper sounding to me.”

“Meh.” JJ shrugs and props an arm up on the back of the sofa.

“What about Kie, and Pope?”

“Kie is on her environmentalist shit. Investing in rebuilding the coral and things. Pope is studying like crazy. Got a good job lined up too.”

“Only Pope would get a degree when he has literal gold in his savings,” you chuckle. “Didn’t you buy a shop too, or something?”

“A little surf shop with John B, yeah,” JJ nods, smiling proud. The surf shop is something that he would always take pride in. What felt like a pipedream was now his nine-to-five. “It’s doing real good, actually. We’re thinking about expanding.”

“Well, that’s good,” you say, nodding. The two of you lock eyes. Your smile holds steady. “I’m happy for you, JJ. Really.”

“Thanks,” he says. “I’m glad you’re doing good, too.”

And now the polite small talk is over and the catch-up is done. It’s so bizarre seeing someone again after so long. So many things in life have passed – relationships, jobs, fights, conversations, achievements, ailments – but when you finally come to sum it up, it only takes ten minutes. Going through a heartbreak lasts for months, but then a year later and the relationship is summed up in a sentence or two. Time doesn’t only heal, but it also shrinks. It seems to have shrunk whatever used to exist between yourself and JJ too, as you both sit, searching for things to talk about which avoid the dark and ugly. Things which avoid the obvious.

“Do you think you’ll stick around in Kildare for a bit?”

“I don’t know. I ain't really thought about it,” JJ admits. “I weren't even sure if I was gonna go to the funeral.”

“Where are you staying tonight?” you wonder.

He laughs to himself and shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “I have no idea. Probably just crash in my truck.”

“You’re loaded as fuck and you’re gonna crash in your truck?” you laugh. It isn’t mean when you say it. Just amused.  

“I don’t know. You don’t really get used to having money when you grew up without it. I still feel guilty buying a new pair of boots or something when my old ones ain't coming apart at the soles and shit.”

You nod. “That makes sense. Eminem had a similar thing.”

“Yeah, I’ve always thought me and Eminem were similar,” JJ deadpans.

It seems to strike well with you because you’re cracking up, laughing like he’s just told the best joke you’ve ever heard. He smiles. He always liked making you laugh. You have a horrendous laugh: truly awful. Cats in a bag being bashed against the wall-howling dog parade level of terrible. JJ loved it though. He used to tickle you just to hear it. Watching you now, head titled back, eyes shut and mouth agape, guffawing like a damn hyena…He feels like throwing up.

“Sorry, that…That was good,” you chuckle, wiping your eyes and catching your breath. “You were always good at making me laugh.”

“Fuck knows why,” JJ chuckles.

“Cause you’re funny,” you reply, as if its obvious. “You were always funny.”

It’s strange how the tone of the conversation rises and falls like a mountain range the longer the two of you sit on the sofa.

Your smile turns sombre, like when someone reminisces over a funny memory of their dead pet. Nice at first, amused, and then dampened with the reminder that those times have passed.

“It’s weird, to be honest. You’re so different now but you’re also still JJ.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know,” you sigh. You glance around the room for a moment, as if you’d find the answer hidden in code on the spine of the books stacked on the windowsill. You look at him again. “Your face looks different.”

“It does?” JJ asks. He lifts a hand and strokes his jaw. He could do with a shave, he supposes. The vanity tries to bite through to ask how, but before he can, you’re talking again.

“You don’t drink,” you add, nodding to the orange juice still sat on the coffee table. “You’re quieter. Less…”

You seem to lose the words and so you gesture with your hands. Explosion.

“Calmer. Sadder, but not sad.”

“I can’t tell if these are good things or not,” JJ says, half-joking.

“You look at me different too.”

That makes him pause. He meets your eyes and holds your gaze, steady. The whole room shifts in a moment, from carefree catch-up to tense confrontation.

“Different?”

“Yeah. You look at me different.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” JJ mutters, going to reach for his drink.

“Yes, you do, JJ.”

Your smile is gone now. He can tell, catching it from his peripheral. Suddenly he doesn’t want to be here. Doesn’t want to be in Kildare, doesn’t want to be in this house, in this room.

“You could at least acknowledge it, you know?”

“I don’t understand—”

“It’s actually more rude to not acknowledge it,” you snip.

“I’m not being rude, I’m just making conversation. You’re the one who’s got me on blast like you’re some God damn therapist,” JJ hits back, meeting your steely stare.

“You feel like you’re on blast?”

“I feel like I’m being observed, that’s for fucking sure.”

“Maybe you are. Maybe you are being observed, JJ,” you return, voice harsh and cutting like how a blade slices through paper. “Because it’s fucking weird having you back.”

“You’re the one that invited me here.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” you say.

JJ takes a breath and closes his eyes. The anger never went away, despite what you’ve just told him, he just got older. Got better at hiding it. Got enough money to try therapy. He takes another moment to breathe through it. Push it down his throat and back into his stomach and let it burn out in the acid.

“I’m sorry,” you quietly say. The venom is gone. “I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.”

He isn’t sure why – can’t pinpoint a perfect reason behind it – but behind his eyelids, JJ feels tears swell. Feels his lips twitch like a child when they hit their funny bone. His next breath in is shaky.

“JJ?”

“Just…”

His voice cracks and he clears it, shaking his head. He wants to open his eyes but he’s scared he’ll start crying, and he’s not doing that, not right now, not today. It’s not even you. You’d seen him cry before. Held him through it and patched him up; made him smile after the sadness. But he refuses to cry today because he can’t give his dad that satisfaction, even if it’s not about him. Opening his eyes, no tears escape. He reaches for the juice and downs it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that,” he snaps. Then, softer, “please.”

You nod. There’s a quiet. Then, you move to stand and he closes his eyes again because it’s a struggle for you to stand. It’s a struggle. He rubs a hand over his mouth as if trying to shove the welling emotions back inside. There’s the sound of running water in the background as JJ tries to gather himself. The crack-crack-crack of a gas stove turning on and then the clink of metal on metal. You’ve put the kettle on, boiling water. There’s the tinker of porcelain mugs being taken off a stand. He seems to zone in on the peaceful sounds of you making coffee.

When you pour water into the mugs, he remembers the sound of your voice years back. ‘Did you know humans have the ability to hear the difference between hot and cold water being poured?’ ‘Why the fuck do you know that?’ ‘I don’t know. Just thought it was interesting.’

As the teaspoon repeatedly brushes against the inside of the cup as you stir in the instant coffee and milk, JJ finally feels all the emotions even out. As your footsteps make their way back over to him, you flick on the lamp by the front door. JJ opens his eyes to see you place a steaming cup of Joe in front of him on the coffee table. The mug is cute. It’s peach pink and says “I’m drinking tea instead of committing crimes” on the front in an innocent type-writer print.

“Cute mug.”

“Thanks. Thought of you.”

He silently laughs. You sit closer to him this time and your mug sits next to his. There’s no funny quote written across the paint. Then your hand is on his back, barely rubbing him, and it hits JJ that this is the first time you’ve touched him in five years.

“I shouldn’t have gotten so angry,” you tell him. “It ain’t my place to say any of that. Especially not today.”

“It’s true, though. That’s the kicker, ain’t it? That it’s true,” JJ replies.

He sighs and leans back, sitting upright once more. Your hand falls away and you clasp it in the other in your lap. He glances down and takes in your side profile. That stupid piece of hair has come lose again, fallen in your face. He distracts his twitching fingers by twisting one of his rings.

“I’m okay, you know,” you tell him. You look up and meet his eyes. Yours are damp with emotion, just like his were moments earlier. “I’m really okay.”

“You almost weren’t though.”

“Is that the problem? That I almost wasn’t?”

“It’s not the problem. You were never a problem.”

“I ain't mean it like that,” you tell him. You shake your head and JJ isn’t entirely sure why. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Am I the reason that you left Kildare?”

A bird calls outside and JJ seems to latch onto it like a lifeline. That question makes him feel stranded and scared. He wasn’t ready for it despite being fully prepared.

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I…It ain't that simple.”

“Can you explain it to me, maybe?” you wonder. There’s no wrath to your tone anymore – no vendetta against him. There’s just curiosity and care, and this wonderful tenderness that JJ always associated with you from day one, when you offered him your cap to keep his hair off his face.

“I didn’t like the person I was in Kildare.”

“Okay,” you quietly say.

“I didn’t like how I acted. I didn’t like how reckless I was, and how I didn’t care who got hurt in the process.”

“Like me?”

JJ swallows. He doesn’t tear his eyes from yours though. “Yeah. Like you.”

“Okay,” you repeat, quieter still, nodding.

“After El Dorado, coming back here, everything felt tainted. I just…I needed to escape it. My dad and my past and…And you. I couldn’t face it. I felt like I’d caused some freak accident and had gotten away, and then I'd come back to face the aftermath and I just couldn’t stomach it. I just ran.”

You nod.

“I just ran,” he hears himself repeat. “And I’m not proud of it. Of any of it.”

“Okay.”

“And I wanted to fix things, but I didn’t know how. Every time I thought of coming back to Kildare, or picking up the phone, or going on Instagram and finding you…I just got so fucking scared, like a stupid shithead kid. I was so scared of becoming the guy I was again.”

And, again, you nod. When he doesn’t continue, you fill the space. “How long have you been sober?”

“The minute I left Kildare.”

“Fuck.”

“Cold turkey. It sucked ass. It still does. You don’t miss it any less. I miss the rage too, sometimes. I miss my dad sometimes, too. Miss him beating on me. How fucked up is that? That I miss him beating on me?”

You don’t seem to know what to say to that. You just look down at the coffee mugs and watch how the steam is slowly but surely going away.

“I am sorry. I know that ain't worth anything, but I am sorry.”

“It is worth something.” You clear your throat, voice coming out stronger when you say, “It’s worth everything.”

Your smile comes back, timid and tiny. You meet eyes for the millionth time that night.

“It feels like I’ve been ready for you to come back, for so long, and now you’re actually here and…I don’t even know where to start.” He watches your tongue dart out and wet your lips. “I wasn’t expecting you to look so good.”

“Disappointed?”

“Massively. I would have got my ass in the gym more if I knew it was a Goddamn competition.”

JJ smiles. “You were always a sore loser.”

“Says you,” you snort.

There’s another peak in the conversation after the long slug of the last dip. It’s so bizarre. So wonderfully bizarre.

“I’m proud of you, for getting sober. Do you feel better for it?”

“Depends.”

“Well, you look better for it,” you say.

“You’re drooling, I think,” JJ teases, reaching a finger out to prod your cheek.

Rolling your eyes, you mirthfully bat his hand away. “You’re hallucinating.”

“Well, withdrawal does crazy things,” he quips back.

You chuckle and shake your head. “I missed you like crazy.”

“I miss you too.”

Your lips part a little with that. Miss. You seem to hesitate to hold his gaze then, like it’s too intense. JJ feels as though he can see every emotion flash across your face in a second, like watching a car crash in slow motion. Surprise, shock, joy, anger, then sadness. It’s that sadness that hammers hard when you speak, voice weak.

“You left without saying anything, JJ. For five years. You just left me.”

“Don’t make it sound like that. Like I abandoned you.”

“But you did,” you whisper. The tears are back. You’ve both fallen from the top of the mountain. “You abandoned me.”

“You don’t get it,” JJ replies, voice suddenly thick.

“I was in it with you.”

“You didn’t see it,” JJ forces out. His tears are falling: they didn’t wait this time. “You didn’t see how it looked – how you looked. You looked so fucking fragile and tiny and small and your leg was so bent and twisted and black – it was black – and I thought you were already dead.”

Your breathing is shaky and broken. The two of you sit on your sofa in the sunset, eyes locked, tears streaming, chests heaving like you’ve run a marathon. The word ‘dead’ hangs in the air and haunts the room.

“I thought you were dead, and I thought it was because of me.”

“Do you hate me for it?”

“Why the fuck would I—”

“Because I didn’t die? Do you hate me for it?”

JJ blinks back his bewilderment. He physically shifts back in his seat, as if you just spat in his face. Horrified, he tells you, “Of course I don’t. Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because I’m still here, JJ. But you acted like I wasn’t for five years. You didn’t even come see me in the hospital. Didn’t sit with me in the ambulance. Hell, you can’t even look at my leg now! You think I didn’t notice? At the graveyard, and now. You think I can’t see it on your face?”

JJ whispers your name in a tearful plea. Stop.

“I’m still here, JJ. And I invited you back here, and I went to the funeral, because I wanted to see you.”

“To show me what I did?” JJ asks, harsher than needed.

You hold his gaze. “To show you I’m okay.”

He shakes his head, insistent. “It was my fault. If I hadn’t been drinking and if I’d been thinking straight, I would have never let you jump off the bike like that. It was fucking reckless and stupid and I would never, ever do it again. It was all my fault.”

“I don’t care who’s fault it was, JJ,” you whisper. Your hand reaches out and traces his cheek and jaw, and he can’t help but lean into your warm touch. There you sit, cradling his face as if he was the victim in this whole thing. It calms him almost immediately. “Nobody forced me on that bike. Nobody forced me to jump, not even you.”

“I shouldn’t have let you.”

“JJ,” you sigh.

He closes his eyes as you shift in your spot, and somehow you end up with your forehead pressed against his. He reaches out one of his hands for the other of yours that rests in your lap and he clenches it, tight. You’re both still crying but they’re silent tears now.

“I forgive you, JJ.”

He shakes his head whilst you nod.

“Yes, I do, I forgive you. I always have. You know why?”

He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t move.

“Because you were dealt the shitest hand I’ve ever known and look who you are. You’re sober, and you're healthy, and you have loving friends and a steady income and a job which you love, and a boathouse, and so much of your life left. And you didn’t kill anyone. You didn’t kill me, JJ. You didn’t even lose me.”

“I don’t—”

“We’re more than our mistakes.”

When JJ opens his eyes, you pull back enough to let him meet your gaze. As if you know what he’s about to ask, you smile. That smile…JJ feels like he’s coming home.

“You’re more than your mistakes, JJ.”

The moment his lips slot against yours, tentative and hesitant, like a bird exploring new ground for the first time, he’s home. There’s hardly a moment of reluctance, of confusion and mismatch from the time passed, before you’re kissing him back. The softness of your lips against his and the brush of your tongue. The sigh in your voice and the tilt of your head. It’s so seamless and sweet and safe. JJ feels safe here, with you. He feels like all the shit doesn’t matter. He feels like sober might actually be synonymous with happiness, with you. When he lies you down on the sofa, JJ doesn’t want to leave this room, this house, or Kildare. He wants to stay here, worshipping you, breathing you in until you consume all of his senses, because after five years, nothing has made him feel as alive as this. As you.

Everything is a wonderful illusion of being rushed and well-paced all at once. He revels in the way your skin gives gently beneath the scrape of his teeth. When he sucks at your throat, the skin is so delicate, and this close to you JJ can smell nothing but your perfume. He wants to fucking drown in it.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he pants. You’re gasping too. Fingers sliding through his hair, down his sides, along his face.

“I missed you,” you whine.

And that phrase gets repeated over and over like a mantra or a prayer. He hears himself whispering it against your skin with every button he undoes on your blouse. Basks in the sound of your voice, older and mature but still you, as you say it whilst pushing his dress shirt off his shoulder.

There’s a stalling pause when his fingers finish tracing down your stomach to your pants. You seem to notice it. Your hand comes to his face and thumbs at his cheek. They’re still sticky from dried tears.

“JJ,” you whisper, coaxing his attention back to your face. You’re glowing. You’re happy, you’re healthy, and you’re here. “It’s okay.” Nodding, you repeat. “It’s okay.”

Then, he watches your own fingers land on the button of your pants, slowly undoing it. Then the other and the third until they’re lose. He watches you wriggle out of them, pulling them down, struggling somewhat from the tight position on the sofa. Watches the scars emerge, faint but clear, and how they grow and spread like ivy on the side of a house. They merge with the cellulite and stretch marks. With a random bruise you must’ve gotten from hitting your leg on the table the other day. They’re a part of you – plain and simple. At the knee, there’s the connection for your prosthetic right leg. Once your trousers are off, JJ finds himself reaching out to touch it. This thing that he was partly responsible for, this marvel of medicine, the reason you can walk. He loves it and hates it desperately all at once. Glancing back up to your face, you’re watching him just as carefully as he was watching you. But you’re smiling.

“You’re okay,” JJ finds himself saying quietly. Because you are. You’re here, laying almost bare before him, just like you had years before.

“It’s rude to make a girl wait, JJ,” you tease.

With that, JJ’s smile is blossoming back like the returning of spring flowers following a brutal winter. He leans forward and catches himself above you with his arms, kissing you like you’re all the oxygen in the world. Your left leg rubs at his calf, still covered by his trousers, and you giggle against his mouth.

“Fuck, I missed this,” you say. “I missed you.”

“How much?”

“So much,” you say.

“Oh yeah? What’d you miss?” JJ persists, kissing down your neck.

“Your mouth,” you say through a moan. His hands slip behind your back and unclasp your bra. You arch your back enough for him to tug it off.

“My mouth?” he wonders, breathing it against your skin. You’re practically writhing. JJ laughs. “What about my mouth?”

“Don’t be a jackass, JJ,” you mutter.

“You want my mouth?”

“Yes,” you quietly beg.

“You do?” he checks, kissing over your breast, sucking at your nipple. “Where do you want it?”

“You fucking know where,” you sigh, impatience shining through.

He grins at the sudden hitch of your moan as he softly nips at the sensitive skin around your nipple. Then he’s kissing down your stomach until finally his fingers hook into the sides of your panties. He slowly, tauntingly, pulls them down. You kick them off at the ankles, a clear act of frustration, and he bites back his laugh.

“What? Here?” JJ plants a kiss to your hipbone. “You want my mouth here? Or…”

Another kiss, to your pelvic bone.

“Here?”

“Fuck you, Maybank.”

“You wanna?”

“I swear to fucking God,” you huff, laughing through the annoyance.

With that, JJ settles himself between your legs and praises you like you deserve to be. The noises you make are downright evil, considering he can do nothing about it and has to hold it together. You taste so familiar on his tongue.

“Fucking missed you,” he groans against you.

When he sucks on your clit, your hands latch into his hair. Your back is arching and you’re gasping and panting and desperate, and JJ feels like a young God. Pulling back, he slips a finger into your hole and it welcomes him so easily. He cusses at how wet you are.

“Come on baby. Come on, I know you’re close.”

The tells of your body haven’t changed since the last time you two were in this position. The way your mouth hangs open in a silent moan when you fall over the edge is so surreal to see after five years apart. He feels you spasms around him and basks in the scratch of your nails against his scalp as you try to ground yourself. He hardly has time to suck his fingers clean before your pulling his mouth to yours and kissing him stupid.

“Fucking missed you,” you repeat against his mouth, making him laugh. “Nobody fucks me as good as you.”

“Jesus Christ, you can’t say shit like that,” JJ chuckles. “Won’t last.”

“Don’t care,” you say. “Only thing bigger than your ego is your dick.”

JJ can’t help but laugh at that. He loves your giggles in response. And then your hands are shoving at his trousers and the humour is gone, replaced with nothing but raw lust and desperation. There’s nothing performative about it, when the two of you hurry to strip his clothes away as soon as possible. He takes note to get his socks off. You’d always had a weird thing about it, sex in socks, and nothing was going to taint this night. Not after so long.

Being inside you…JJ missed it more than all the alcohol and weed in the world. Nothing compared to the feeling of you clenching around him. The vice of your leg hitched up and over his back as he grips into your thigh, mean and firm, perfecting the angle. The senseless, endless whines falling from your agape mouth, eyes closed tight, lost in the feeling of it. JJ wants nothing to be less than perfect for you, for this. Every stroke, every kiss, every clench of his fingers…it all has to be perfect. He knows when you’re close and he’s more than fucking relieved. It’s taking everything in him not to come. He needs you to fall over the edge first.

“Do the thing,” you whine. “Do the thing, John.”

With that, JJ remembers five years back, to late nights and later mornings spent rolling in bed with you. He bites into his lip, holding back his shit-eating grin as the memories flood back, and he leans forward to your ear. Gently taking the lobe within his teeth, he croons into the shell of your ear.

“That’s my good fucking girl.”

And finally, you fall apart, taking JJ with you like you always would.

When the high finally passes and the endorphins settle down, the two of you are laying on the sofa, only covered by a throw blanket JJ had dragged down from the back of the sofa. You’ve somehow shuffled so you’re laying mostly atop of him. His arms are locked around your damp stomach like a vice, nose nestled into your hair, just behind your ear, breathing you in with every inhale.

“Will you stay in Kildare, just for a short while? For me?”

JJ wants to laugh but he knows how wrong that would be in this moment. The humour doesn’t come from the question, but from the notion that he’d leave after finally having you back in his life, safe and happy, after five long years.

“Anything,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against your hair. Anything for you.

-

“You look like shit by the way,” JJ says.

His hands are warm in his cargo pant pockets. Head tilted down and gaze steady, he sighs.

“Guess you didn’t have chance to clean up though, right?”

Shockingly, the gravestone says nothing back. Well, says nothing asides form Luke Maybank in barely legible font.

It still feels surreal, that his dad is gone. That they’d never remedy anything, or even attempt to fix their relationship. That JJ wouldn’t be able to face him and show him what he’d become. How he’d risen past it all and grown from the pain and the agony. That he’d taken the shitty hand that he was dealt and turned it into nothing but flushes and full houses. That he hadn’t grown into a petty criminal or a tax-evading lowlife, but a strong, good-willed, well-intentioned man. The thought, bittersweet at heart, makes him smile.

“I’m happy dad. I know you probably hate that, being dead and all, but I am.”

As if on cue, there’s the high pitch giggles from afar that catch JJ’s attention. He glances over to spot you and your wonderful mini-you, sitting on your shoulders, waving at him. He waves back, small and short, smiling.

“I’m glad you never met her,” JJ tells his dad, never tearing his eyes away from the pair of you. You ease her off your shoulders and take her hand, pointing to a small bed of daffodils. “I was so scared I’d be bad at this. I was so scared that I’d be like you.”

She’s so fragile as she picks a flower free from the bunch, holding it by the stem, up to you. You nod and presumably smile in approval.

“But I’ll never be like you. She’ll never know what it feels like to live in fear,” JJ states, firmly. He looks back down to the grave. “I’m not your mistakes, and I’m not mine.”

He lowers to a squat and wipes some of the dirt off the stone, revealing the dates. “Happy birthday, dad. You suck, and I hope you’re finally at peace.”

“Daddy, daddy…”

There’s an insistent tug at his jacket sleeve. JJ smiles and looks down at the best mistake he ever made. Mistake is a strong word. ‘Oops, I think is better’, you’d said when you first showed him the pregnancy test.

“What’s up, bub?”

“I found this flower. Can I give it to papa?”

JJ takes the daffodil and glances to the grave. A brief moment of anger passes over him like the breeze of winter. He doesn’t deserve this. He isn’t your papa. I’m glad he’s dead. But he closes his eyes and breathes. Your hand squeezing gently at his shoulder tells him you’re there. It helps ground him.

“Yeah, bub. I think that’d be nice,” he smiles, handing it back.

She giggles as she puts it on the grass just before the stone. Her laughter is brighter and louder still when JJ scoops her up as he stands, looping her around him until she’s a backpack.

“You wanna get ice cream?”

“Hell yeah,” you whoop.

“Hell yeah!” mini-you copies. JJ laughs.

“Alrighty, lets go.”

As the three of you make the small walk back to the car, you intertwine your fingers with JJ’s, holding his hand tight and secure. JJ takes one last glance back at the gravestone. It all began here, in a way, the re-introduction to a life he thought he’d lost. Perhaps the nicest thing JJ’s dad ever did, the kindest act he ever performed, was dying. Perhaps that was his way of paying him back for all the crap he gave.

“Hey.”

JJ glances down at you.

“You okay?”

He smiles. Then, he nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

Everything is going to be okay.

[cameronspecial]

Birthday Surprise

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.1K

Summary: With Drew's birthday on the horizon, Drew's daughter and wife wanted to do something special for him.

A/N: Happy Birthday to someone who absolutely makes butterflies in my stomach! Hope this day is amazing!

Masterlist

November 4th. The day Josepth Andrew Starkey entered the world thirty years ago. Drew doesn’t like to do anything big for his birthdays. He prefers to spend the day with his family rather than partying in a crowded club with annoying drunks, but for this milestone birthday, his family had other ideas. His daughter wants to make a big deal out of her father’s birthday and has helped her pregnant mother plan a surprise party for him. This has been kept from the man up until the morning of his birthday. Y/N is up earlier than expected because of the tiny kicks the human growing in her uterus is giving her. Her rolling back into bed in a struggle pulls Drew from his dreams of his wife and daughter. “Is mini-me giving you a hard time again?” he whispers, bringing her back into his hold. She nods against his chest, “Yes, the little bugger seems to think my bladder is a kickstand.” Drew gives a small chuckle, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then her stomach. “I’m sorry, Sweetheart. You only have three more months,” he reassures, rubbing her belly to help soothe her. Her hand finds his, “It’s okay. It will all be worth it in the end. Happy Birthday, my love.” 

She leans over her stomach and kisses him on the lips. He smiles in the kiss, “Thank you. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m thirty. I’m so old.” “No, you aren’t! You are young at heart, love. Just yesterday you were eating an Uncrustable and colouring in a book,” she giggles. The image of yesterday comes to his mind, “I was only doing that because Millie wanted me to do those things with her. Speaking of Millie, what time did you guys go to bed? I swear I felt like I heard you guys up pretty late last night.” In her tiredness and pregnancy fog, Y/N lets the secret slip out of her mouth. “She went to bed at twelve and I was in bed by four I think. I was going over everything for your surprise party so it took me some time because I kept getting hungry and needing to pee.” Her eyes rival the size of the moon when she realizes what she has done, her hand finding way over her mouth. 

Drew chuckles as he processes the words and tries to end her endless apologies, “It’s okay, Sweetheart. You didn’t mean to. You were up late and have a lot on your mind.” “Right. Well, you have to act surprised at the party. Millie is so excited to surprise you; it would crush her if she knew I spoiled it,” Y/N warns, looking him directly in the eye to make sure her point is getting across. Drew gives her a nod, “Got it. I’ll be so surprised that it’s almost like I act for a living.” Y/N giggles at his joke and her smile grows at the pitter-patter of their three-year-old’s footsteps. 

——

Millie shooed her father out of the house right after lunch, sending him with a laundry list of things he needed to do before he got home. As he drove around doing the chores, his heart would warm every time he looked at the non-sensical scribbles that were his daughter's “writing”, which had a translation written by Y/N beside each scribble. Even if he didn’t know about the party, he knew he would gladly do these errands for his girls on his birthday because all he could ever want was to take care of them. 

His hand meets his front door and he takes a second to get into character, almost like he is on set. The handle is pushed down to reveal a dark room, which is suddenly set alight with the screams of ‘surprise’ by his family and friends. He lets his shock show on his face, both hands covering the o-shape of his mouth. “Wow, this is amazing. Thank you guys so much,” he thanks the crowd, looking around for his girls. It isn’t long before Millie is running into her father’s arms. “Happy Birthday, Daddy,” she greets him, letting herself be picked up into the air by the older man. He gives her a massive grin, assaulting her cheek with multiple kisses and thanks. “Daddy, your moustache is tickling me,” she complains with joy in her voice. He pulls away, letting the hand not holding up his daughter adjust the dad hat on his head, “I’m sorry, Baby. Maybe Daddy should get rid of his moustache.” 

“No! Mommy likes it. But Daddy… Were you surprised by my party?”

“Yes, I was, Baby. I was so surprised. I love it so much.”

She looks at him in disbelief, “You are lying! You weren’t surprised.” Drew doesn’t know how his acting doesn’t seem to fool his daughter. “No, I’m not. Daddy really was surprised by the party,” he promises, starting to bounce the girl, who is about to cry. “Okay, maybe Mommy accidentally told Daddy, but it’s okay. Daddy still doesn’t know what you have planned for me.” This causes the girl to pause her cries, “Can we have cake now? I want you to see the cake.” Wanting her smile to return to her face, he nods his head, booming to his party guest that it is time for cake. Nobody objects that the cake is being served before dinner or other party activities. Instead, they all gather around the kitchen table and begin to sing the famous song. “Happy Birthday dear Daddy! Happy Birthday to you.” Millie’s loud singing is the one mainly invading his senses. Maybe because of her proximity to him with her being on his lap or maybe because his focus is mainly on her. “Make a wish, Daddy,” she orders. He obeys, blowing on the candles in the form of a thirty.

“What did you wish for?” she questions. Her eyes bore into his with curiosity. He is about to tell her when Y/N speaks up, “If Daddy tells you, Millie, it won’t come true.” Drew shakes his head, smiling down at his daughter. “It’s okay, my wish is already coming true so it can’t hurt to tell. I wished for more happy days with you and Mommy and everyone else that I love.” The crowd awes at how adorable his words are. “And the baby?” Millie clarifies with concern that her father forgot her baby brother or sister. He nods, “And you baby sibling.” He gives her a kiss on the forehead, allowing her to help him with cutting the cake. 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Zephrit coffee shop AU ??? Anyone ???

"New costumer for you, 'Frit."

Ifrit looks up from the coffee he's making, shooting Ivy a suspicious look.

"Why aren't you taking their order ?"

Ivy holds out a pack of cigarette, waving it in the air as he unties his apron. His smirk immediately makes the hair at the back of Ifrit's neck stand.

"Smoke break. I'll be back soon, don't miss me too much !"

"Since when do you smoke-"

Too late, Ivy already disappeared behind the "employees only" door with an omnious cackle. Sighing as dread fills his nervous system, Ifrit straightens up, calls out the name scrawled in Ivy's barely legible handwritting on the cup, wincing when the girl who takes the latte from his hands corrects his pronounciation.

She visibly softens and waves it off the second she catches sight of his apologetic smile. Ivy calls it "their best publicity", that sparkling grin that never leaves people indifferent.

Once that's done, Ifrit saunters back toward the counter.

"Hi, what can I get you-"

He falters, blood rushing to his cheeks in an instant, words dying in his throat. There, leaning on a cane covered in stickers, hair held back in intricated braids tied together, wearing black slacks and a dress shirt to match it, is a familiar face, grey eyes widening in amused surprise when they meet Ifrit's.

The sight of this person makes phantom hands roam all over Ifrit's body, and oh, what a mistake it is to throw a quick glance at their lips - now Ifrit can recall their taste, the feeling of them on his. Fuck fuck fuck. Ifrit knows this person.

"Ifrit," they chuckle, and the man in question has no idea if they just read his nametag or remember the short, hurried conversation they had before getting each other off in a bar's dingy bathroom. Last night. Because Ifrit has the worst karma ever known to mankind.

Though he certainly hasn't forgotten the person's name.

"...Zephyr."

They hum, tilting their head, eyes crinkling in the corner. The first two buttons of their shirt are open, their sleeves rolled up to accomodate the pleasant weather, and Ifrit has to advert his eyes lest his thought take a lustful turn.

"Fancy seeing you here," Zephyr lilts, voice wrapping around Ifrit's brain just like it did last night, except today he doesn't even have the booze to blame for the way his knees immediately go a little weak at that.

"I...well, I work here," Ifrit blurts out, wincing the second the words are out of his mouth. Great. Where is his easy charm when he needs it ? Just like yesterday night, all of it vanishes once faced by Zephyr.

Leaning their forearms against the counter and lowering their voice to a teasing croon, smirk tucked in the corner of their mouth, they chuckle.

"I trust you got home safely last night then."

Oh Ifrit was not ready for such an easy acknowledgement of what happened the night before. In such a smooth voice too, shit Ifrit already misses feeling their skin on his. He's so fucked.

"Uh- I- yeah, Ivy drove me home."

Ivy. The little shit was there yesterday too, saw Ifrit excuse himself at Zephyr's arm...well, his newly developped smoking habits make sense now, at least.

Zephyr is smiling, but it's not mocking, more like endeared. Ifrit clears his throat, running a hand through his hair.

"I- uhm. Your order ?"

Stringing words together in a coeherent sentence has never been more difficult.

"Caramel macchiato, please. And, I suppose, your number would be nice, since I forgot to ask yesterday."

Ifrit resists the sudden urge to run around and jump with excitement. He's sure his smile threatens to rip his face in half with how wide it has become.

"That I can do. Be right back."

He rushes toward the back room under Zephyr's amused stare, letting the door fall shut behind him before he let out a strangled little noise of pure delight and allows himself to jump once or twice. Then he grabs a pen - there were some near the cups on the counter, but Ifrit really needed a moment to collect himself - and saunters back out, scribbling his number on an old receipe while starting the coffee machine. He checks twice to ensure he hasn't made any mistakes and the numbers are all neatly written, before handing it to Zephyr with a cheeky grin.

Their fingers overlap, purposefully if Zephyr's smirk is anything to go by, Ifrit's heart skipping a bit.

"Something on my face ?" they tease at Ifrit's blatant staring.

"Hard to keep my eyes in check with the outrageous knowledge that your forearms are bare," he hums in answer, pointedly checking Zephyr out. "Formal clothes suit you,"

They raise an eyebrow, cheeks tinged pink too, now.

"That so ? Should have known you'd like it. You have a thing for authority, don't you ?"

Ifrit nearly chokes on air, the memory of that same voice curling around the words "good boy" right in his ear making him feel dizzy.

He remembers the coffee just in time, using it as an excuse to turn away, hopefully hidding the worse of his blush. And if he draws a little heart while drizzling caramel in the cup, well, that's his problem.

Zephyr swipes their thumb across the back of Ifrit's hand when they take the cup handed to them, which has him holding back a honest-to-god squeal.

"Thank you, Ifrit. Expect a text from me, I'm not busy today," Zephyr smiles as they take their order to a nearby table.

Ifrit needs to scream, and is also wondering how he'll go through his shift feeling those grey eyes weight on his back.

"What the fuck are you doing, man ?"

Ivy's voice interrupts Ifrit's musing ; apparently he's been back from his break for a little while, now staring at Ifrit like he just said something incredibly stupid.

"What ?"

Ivy rolls his eyes, grabs Ifrit by the shoulders, and shakes him none-too-gently.

"They just told you they weren't busy, dumbass. Go sit with them ! Pebble came in early, he's in the back room, he'll cover for you, go !"

Ifrit catches a glimpse of a purple bruise on Ivy's neck then, half-hidden by his hair, which makes him snort.

"Came in early, mmh ? You ran into him during your...smoke break, V ?"

Ivy glares at him, pratically shoving him toward Zephyr's table.

"Shut up you cunt, go get 'em instead of pestering me."

Ifrit's still laughing when he drops in the seat facing Zephyr, stomach flipping under their intense stare.

He's never felt more alive.

[pinkthrone445]

-Distant wedding bells- Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: Gary x Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender:love, hurt, hurt

Warnings:Mention of cheating , insults

Summary:I don't wanna spoil it because I think it's good the surprise reading this fic like this.

-"Whether we like it or not, I'm still married to him" - she whispered, teary-eyed inches from your lips

-"I know, I can't fucking forget that" - You whispered and tried to kiss her again but she wouldn't let you, putting her fingertips on your lips to stop you

-"And I'm not a cheater..."-she whispered, and you sighed walking a few steps back, even if your soul ached for having to part from her after wanting to kiss her for so long. You knew why she said it, whether Gary was a bad men or not, he didn't deserve to be cheated on like her ex-husband did to her in her old marriage

-"I'll talk to Gary and then we will see where this could go... Would you be willing to wait for me?" - Melissa asked looking into your eyes and you barely smiled -"Always..."-You answered and arranged a strand of hair that had ruffled out of her perfect hair -"I'll see you tomorrow at school then... Please don't stay here, go back home and eat something and try to get some rest... And if Ava gets your transfer, don't accept it... Wait for me please or I'll go after you"- Melissa whispered and kissed your cheek, very close to your lips before leaving to talk to him.

The next morning, you walked into the teacher's room and made yourself a latte, it was the first morning in weeks when you didn't feel like garbage, the first morning you didn't need a strong coffee to wake you up, the first morning you felt relaxed and happy, the first morning you'd have breakfast again with the other teachers in the break room. The kiss you had given to the redhead kept playing like a scratched record in your head, making the smile you had on your face grow more and more.

For a few seconds the break room was quiet, until suddenly Abbott's entire team arrived for breakfast, including the redhead who drove you so crazy.

Your eyes immediately connected with the hypnotizing green orbs of the eldest, without being able to help it, you smiled at her and seeing how she completely swept over you with her gaze, you blushed slightly

-"Someone's happy this morning... It's good to see you with us again, I missed you" - Barbara commented, sitting in her usual place, at the same table you were sitting at, leaving a space between you and her for Mel, just like you usually sat when the 3 of you were together. It felt good that something felt like the old days before Mel got married.

Mel sat down next to you with a smile and brushed your hand on purpose, giving you a sneaky caress, implying that she also remembered what had happened the night before. No words beyond a 'hello' were shared between you and Mel, but Barbara had already noticed that there was something weird and different between you.

When you finished breakfast, Barbara walked down the hall with you, ready to get a little information out of you

-"Are you going to tell me what has made you change your mood so quickly? Yesterday you were in a very big emotional low and now you're almost jumping and singing through the halls"-Barbara asked and you smiled at her, unable to contain your excitement

-"Last night Mel and I kissed, not only did I kiss her, but she reciprocated everything"-You commented in a whisper with a smile from ear to ear. The eldest looked at you shaking her head with a hunch that this wouldn't end well

-"Be careful (Y/N)..."-It was all he said and you nodded

-"I know, I know... Mel will talk to her husband about divorce and then we'll be together. We'll do things right..."-You answered, and Barbara just nodded before entering her classroom.

Barbara later that day also spoke to Melissa, telling her to be careful with you and not hurt you because you were blindly in love with her and that could go wrong.

The week went by quickly, you wanted to ask Mel if she had spoken to him but you didn't know if it was too soon, so you decided to find out subtly

-"Hey Mel! Do you want to go out for a drink with me tonight?" - You asked her and felt the red-haired woman's hand brush yours as you walked together

-"I can't, Gary will be home and I have to make him something to eat..."-Melissa replied and you sighed, that meant she hadn't talked to him yet.

-"Okay, then I'll see you tomorrow"- You greeted her by kissing her cheek and went home a little disappointed. After you made yourself something to eat, your cell phone rang with a message from the redhead

-🍒Lisa🍒:"I'm so sorry I can't be with you tonight... I'll go take a bath now, I'll try not to think about how much I'd like you to be here helping me wash my back, I miss you" - Her message lit up your face and made you laugh like a teenager

-You:"I'll go to bed now, I'll try not to think too much about how delicious your lips feel on mine and how much I miss having you close. Good night Lisa"-You replied smiling and she was slow to respond back

-🍒Lisa🍒:"I'm sorry for not responding quickly, he's near me all the time. Good night sweetheart , have nice dreams"-The redhead answered and you left your cell phone on the nightstand to start eating.

The next few weeks continued like that, you asked her out but she told you that she couldn't because she had plans with him, which made you understand that they hadn't talked yet, and you would get all sad. Then you'd come home and get a message from her that gave you the slightest glimmer of hope and you'd blindly hold on to that and put aside the fact that she hadn't been honest with him yet. Days and days trying to make plans without any result...

-"Do you want to go dancing with me? Just dancing, I promise, I won't try anything else."-You consulted with the redhead but she denied it with some excuse, she always had excuses.

-"Want to go for a coffee? I miss spending time together"-You asked another day and she turned it down again. Then, when you home, she would send you another message that would revive your hopes.

Between those comings and goings, two months passed where the desire to be with her was almost consuming you, the sadness was coming back and you didn't like that .

How you wanted her to finally talk to him, so that you could at least kiss her again. But every day the possibility of her talking to him felt more distant.

In a particularly stressful week, you began to feel the need to be with her and hug her even more eagerly than before. Mel hadn't had the best day and neither had you, so you thought maybe it would be a good idea to go out together to distract yourself. When you saw her walking out of the school through the front doors into the parking lot, you hurried your pace to get to her side

-"Hi..."-You smiled looking at her and she greeted simply with a smile too-"Do you want to go home to see a movie or something?...I know it's been a tough week for everyone and I thought maybe we could be together, grab a bite to eat, snuggle up a bit... -You smiled excitedly and she shook her head looking at her phone

-"I can't, I have a date with Gary, He invited me to a fancy restaurant "-she whispered and smiled barely visible

-"Right... Have you had a chance to talk to him?"-You asked looking at her and she rolled her eyes

-"Not yet"- Her answer was short and dry

-"Do you plan to do it soon? I really want to go out with you, to be able to be together in peace, to hug you or kiss you..."-You answered truthfully and the redhead stopped in front of you squeezing her cell phone a little bit annoyed with your insistence

-"I don't know! Okay? I don't know when I'll talk to him yet, the time hasn't been right. How insistent you are with that! I'll do it, it's not an easy thing to say, I need time!" - The redhead hadn't had a good day and she had no patience left, causing her to treat you badly and scream even though she didn't want to

-"More time? I don't think there's the right time to say something like that... You have to do it and that's it, without hesitating so much or looking for the right moment when it will never come... I know you need time to do it, but it's been more than two months since you told me you'd talk..."-You spoke sadly and sighed

-"It's not crazy what I'm asking, I'll talk to him, just wait a little longer"- replied the redhead looking at you with a frown

-"Do you know how much longer you need me to wait? Because I've already waited two months for you and it's difficult, especially when you don't help... It's been two long months where you tempt me and when I want to be with you or kiss you stop me saying you're not a cheater or something like that. Two months in which you call me in the middle of the night to tell me how miserable your life is with him, that you need me by your side, that you want to feel my arms hugging you as you sleep and the next day at the entrance to work I see you laugh and kiss him like you love him with all your being..."-You sighed biting the inside of your cheek trying to control your emotions-" I'll give you more time, don't worry... You'll have all the time that you need, I won't bother you with this again"-You whispered and kept walking to your car leaving her alone there.

That night, Mel called you but you didn't answer her, she also sent several messages

-🍒Lisa🍒:"Hey hon, I'm so sorry how I treated you earlier, I was tired and with almost 0 patience, can we talk? Please"-Mel sent the first message with no response

-🍒Lisa🍒:"Please, I promise to talk to him soon..."- Message delivered, read and unanswered, the redhead sighed and tried again

-🍒Lisa🍒:"Did you go out drinking? Do you want me to pick you up and so we can talk quietly? Maybe we can go grab a bite to eat if you want, just you and me, what do you say? I miss you" - Delivered, Read, No Response Again

-🍒Lisa🍒:"I'm really sorry, please answer me..."-Message sent, undelivered, and unread. You had turned off your cell phone. Melissa ran her hands over her face in frustration.

The next morning at school, you ignored her all day, even though you were in the teacher's room together or even if she talked directly to you, you just ignored her.

At the end of the day when you were about to go home, she stopped you to talk

-"Are you going to ignore me all day?"-Melissa sounded annoyed but you just looked at her seriously, without any other emotion

-"I'm giving you space, it was what you wanted, I don't want to overwhelm you with my insistence" - You responded and tried to keep walking but she hadn't let go of your arm, you sighed and turned to look at her

-"Please... Don't act like that, it hurts me when you walk away from me and ignore me"-Melissa replied, moving closer to you

-"So you can ignore me, handle me as you please and stay away from me all you want, but I can't do it because I hurt you?" - You asked and laughed at the irony of the situation

-"Have a good day Melissa"-You answered and left.

-"I don't ignore you, it's just hard to respond when he's right there next to me, and it's hard to make up lies so he doesn't suspect anything so can be with you... I'm really really sorry"-The redhead replied by making wet puppy dog eyes, she knew you had a soft spot for that, but you just sighed without looking her in the eye

-"I don't believe you and I don't xare anymore"-You replied without much desire to argue with her, you just wanted to go home to be alone

-"I mean it, do you want me to show you how much I miss you and how sorry I am?" - Mel responded with pleading in her voice and tried to kiss you but you turned your face making her kiss your cheek and took her hand making her let go of you

The week went on like this, you ignoring her and her insisting, but nothing changed your mood.

A particular day, Mel came into your classroom attracted by all the children smiling, singing, dancing and giving you drawings they had made. It wasn't your birthday, but the scene was very cute to watch. Her initial smile turned to confusion when she saw a cake on your desk that said 'we'll miss you Miss (Y/N), come back soon'

-"Hey... What is this?" - The redhead looked at you in confusion as you said goodbye to the last kids

-"I'm leaving and the kids wanted to say goodbye, I'm going to change schools, I'm going to work somewhere else, I finally accepted my transfer, after having postponed it for more than a month..." - You whispered making a pile of all the drawings and gifts

-"What? Was that what everyone was muttering in the teacher's room? Why does everyone know you're leaving but me? Why didn't you tell me anything? You promised you'd wait for me..." - Melissa was confused and hurt, how could you make that decision without telling her, why did she have to be the last to know?

Melissa stood there watching you go, with deep pain in her body and feeling her heart go after you, the same thing that had happened to you months ago when you saw her marry someone else.

-"And you promised you'd talk to him and it's been almost three months... I promised I'd wait for you, and I did, I've had my transfer ready for a while and I didn't leave for you, but I will not wait forever... You already hurt me once without knowing it, but now you know what you're doing, you're hurting me and you know it and yet you keep going. And yes, I'm stupid, but not enough to let you hurt me anymore... You want to have me and at the same time you don't want to face Gary, but you can't have everything, not everything is going to be the way you want it to be. You have to make up your mind and act, or life will decide for you... But don't worry, I won't pressure you into talking to him anymore, you don't need to do it for me, because I don't want to be with you or see you anymore... I'll leave so you can get on with your stupid marriage without having to worry about me or the pressure I make you feel with my messages or questions. I hope you are very happy with your dear husband and please don't ever call me again-You angrily took your purse and walked past her without looking at her, carrying in your hands the parting gifts that the children had given you. You didn't want this, you didn't want to start from scratch again, you didn't want to get away from her either, but you couldn't keep hurting yourself waiting for love from someone who wasn't going to give it to you.

[billluver0124]

"Even My Bones"

synopsis: bill falls inlove with y/n after meeting her at a gas station, a month later; after a moment of passion something is revealed about her.

WARNINGS: cannibalism, blood, makeout scene

authors note: this story is inspired by the movie 'bones and all', i immediately thought of a plot after watching the movie. but this story does get gorey, so please scroll of you are uncomfortable reading. thank you to @rottinglilys for helping me with this story<3 enjoy my lovies, mwah!

BILLS POV: it was like yesterday when i met her. i was at a gas station, my brother tom waiting in the car as i bought myself a pack of skittles and a pack of cigarettes. then there she was, the love of my life; i didnt know it then but i know it so much now. she looked different then other girls, her eyes were as big and doey as a deer, her smile was as bright as the sun. there was something unique about her, she was almost inhuman-like, but so beautiful. i caught myself watching her every move as she walked around the station..

Y/NS POV:

i walked into the gas station, using the amount of money i had left to get myself some snacks and water for the journey that was to come. "that'll be 13.74 please" the cashier told me, i gave him fifteen bucks and he gave me the remaining change, and the stuff i bought of course. i thanked him, before catching a glimpse at the boy who was staring at me the entire time; and leaving to continue my walk. (the rest of the story is now in third person !)

bill mentally slapped himself for not talking to her at the gas station, but he shook it off as he walked back to the car, continuing his drive with tom back home. "why do you look so gloomy?" tom asked, with small concern. "nothing, im just tired" bill replied, giving tom a small smile as he continued to drive him and tom.

after bill dropped tom off at his house, he now drove the route to his house. when he saw her again, walking on the road all by herself, with nothing but a backpack. "hey!" he shouted, catching her attention. "are you okay miss?" "uhh yea, im okay" she replied, not very sure about her answer "well, why are you walking alone? its late and its not safe at this hour" bill asked, concerned for her well being. y/n looked around the area, the boy was right, it did look pretty dangerous out here in the dark "w-well, d-do you think you could gimme a ride?" y/n asked, slightly nervous about her surroundings. "yea, come in" bill opened the passenger side door for her, allowing her to come in. she puts on her seat belt as they continued the drive. "you live around here?" bill asked, y/n looking at him for a small moment before answering "actually i dont, im not from here" "where were you gonna stay?" bill asked, curiousity filled his senses. "i was just gonna sleep at a bus stop" she said nonchalantly, bill turned to look at her once again, wide eyed "are you crazy? nonsense, you can stay with me at my place!" "n-no, you dont have to-" "i insist, no pretty girl like you should stay alone like that" bill immediately blushed after he realized what he called her, y/n blushing to herself as she took the compliment. after a small moment she spoke..

"im y/n" she looked to him as she spoke, bill replying soon after "im bill, its a pleasure to meet you" y/n softly smiled. sitting in a soft and peaceful silence the rest of the drive home. they finally reached his house, bill leads her inside, helping her take off her beat up sage green converse and hanging her backpack on a hanger. "you can sleep in my room if youd like, i dont mind sleeping on the couch" "no, its your house, ill sleep on the couch" y/n insisted, not willing to negotiate anything else. and thats what happened, y/n slept on the couch...for most of the night. bill wakes up to the sound of y/n panicking, he rushes out of the room and holds her in his arms "you're okay, everything's okay" he soothes her as she cried in his arms, after she calms down a bit she speaks "i-i had a nightmare.." bill softly smiled at her, even in such a panicked state; she was still so beautiful to him "do you wanna come sleep with me in my room?" "i-is that okay with you?" she asked, bill smiled even more "its more than okay with me" bill takes her to his bed, holding her in his arms as they both slept. he knows he shouldnt move this fast with her, he didn't even know her for gods sake! but something about her was so, addicting. A month goes by, bill and y/n began to know more about each other, both sharing their feelings in the process, sharing a few intimate nights with each other too. bill knew she was the one, the missing puzzle piece in his life, the filling of the void he had for so long. bill knew it was always her. and y/n felt the exact same. they loved each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bill held her waist as he kissed her neck, hearing her sweet moans for him. he smirks, going back up to her lips; their tongues dancing with each other in one anothers mouths. y/n had her hands in dreads, melting in his addicting touch. "god i love you so much" bill groaned, "i love you too" y/n moans back.

then all of a sudden, y/n had this violent urge of hunger, her skin began to crawl as she drooled for bill. she needed to feed. she goes down to his neck, mumbling an 'im so sorry' before sinking her teeth in bills neck. bill yells in pain as a response.

BILLS POV: "liebe! stop, i-its me!" i cried, trying to push her off but she was too strong. i felt another wave of pure agony as i watched her dig her nails into the flesh on my chest, feeding it into her mouth, another scream of pain as my response. but after a moment, something made me accept this. it was her beauty, she was literally ripping me apart and eating me. but even with my blood all over her...still, she looked so beautiful. "i love you y/n" those were my last words, the last things i needed to say as i watched her, tear me apart piece by piece. consuming my existence, eating my entire body... even my bones. Y/NS POV: after i ate him, i snapped out of my trance and realized what i just did. i just killed...and ate the love of my life. he was my everything, my soulmate. and i just ripped him apart and consumed him so selfishly. what is wrong with me?, there was nothing but a pool of blood and his hair, his beautiful black hair with white dreads, that was the only thing i had for memory of him. i got up to go to the bathroom, catching my reflection in the mirror. i looked so disgusting, his blood was all over me, there were pieces of him stuck in my teeth. all i could do now, was cry. i felt myself falling to my knees, screaming out all my regret in cries, why did i have to be like this? and out of all people... why did it have to be bill?

[justmeinadaze]

Children of the Night Part 7 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Some of my own personal damage has entered the angsty chat lol Enjoy!

Warnings: Vampire Daddy Eddie/ Sub Vampire Stevie/ Sub Human Fem Reader, SMUT, dp, dirty talk, biting (obviously), mentions of blood drinking (yeah they're vampires), etc, FLUFF, they love each other :), ANGST!! (because Im me), Slight Child Abuse Trigger, we meet reader mom finally and goes about as well as you would think, mentions of feeling like/being a burden (I'm noticing a theme in my writing *thinks*), Eddie touches briefly on his childhood and his dad being in jail, these three get into a bit of a fight, I believe that be it.

Word Count: 6015

Series Here

That following morning after they fell asleep, you snuck out of their house and drove away in no particular direction. You needed to get away not because you were afraid of them or anything but because you were utterly terrified of getting them hurt again or worse. You loved them too much to allow that happen so you reverted to your default and ran. 

You had many hiding spots around the city including the bar you were sitting in. Whenever your mom would come home in a mood or bring home a guy that made your skin crawl you went to one of these places. This bar allowed you entry even when you were underage because the owner knew one of the boys you had run with. As you got older he said you were always welcome to hang out should you need to. 

A part of you hoped you were far enough away that both boys wouldn’t sense you especially since as night fell, you couldn’t feel Steve at all. Part of you thought you’d feel anger or sadness but more than anything all you felt was guilt. 

The band in front of you begins to play a song you recognize and your heart breaks as you try to subpress the tears that want to fall by knocking back another shot. 

A cold hand taps your shoulder and without saying a word your eyes lock with Steve while Eddie silently takes a seat in front of you. The newly made vampire tugs on your bicep but when you subtly shake your head, he tugs you again until you rise to your feet and walk with him to the makeshift dance floor. 

“Tears stream down your face When you lose something you cannot replace Tears stream down your face, and I.”

Wrapping his arms around your back, your hands cling to his shoulders as you force yourself to look anywhere that isn’t his face. 

“Tears stream down your face I promise you I will learn from my mistakes Tears stream down your face, and I.”

Your bottom lip trembles as images of the last few days flash through your mind including the sight of him bleeding on your bedroom floor and Eddie’s panicked voice when he thought the man he loved may be gone.

“Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you.”

Feeling your pain, Steve’s palm pressed you into his chest as his arms circled tighter around you while he listened to you cry. He kissed the top of your head while you both swayed and rested his cheek in your hair. 

As the song ended and people in the bar clapped, you hastily pushed him back and headed towards the table to grab your things. You thought Eddie would try and stop you but he didn’t, his eyes watching you with what felt like pity. 

Slamming open the bar door, you inhaled the warm but breezy night air before heading for your car. Wind whipped around you and suddenly the metalhead was blocking your entry into your vehicle. 

“Move, please.”

“You’ve been drinking. I’m not letting you drive. You may walk if you wish.”

“You’re not in charge of me anymore, Eddie.”

“Oh, yeah? I didn’t get that memo. Is that why you left without a word?”

“I’m allowed to come and go as I please.”

“Not after someone tried to murder you yesterday. It’s our job to take care of you.”

Rolling your eyes, you stomp off towards sidewalk near the beach as they followed close behind. 

“Leave me alone!”, you shout as you try to walk faster. “I don’t want to be with either of you anymore!”

Your hair blew in front of your face as Steve appeared in front of you blocking your path. 

“Ok. You don’t want to be with us anymore. That’s fine but it’s not going to stop us from looking after you to make sure you’re ok.”

“I’m not your responsibility! Trust me. You don’t want that burden.”

“Interesting word choice. Did your mother teach you that?”, Eddie replied in a snark filled tone. “Because, princess, you aren’t a burden. We like taking care of you.”

“Oh, so, these past couple of nights have been fun for you?! Watching him bleed to death and then changing him was exciting, Eddie? All the pain you went through was fantastic, Steve?!”

“What happened wasn’t your fault, Y/N.”

“YES IT IS! If you two had never met me you would have had no reason to be at my house!”

“Then you would be DEAD!”, Steve growled loudly, his eyes turning black with anger as he stepped forward. 

“Sweetheart, it’s ok. Calm down.”, the metalhead coos as he rubs his boyfriend’s back trying to comfort him. “I think you forget, little one, how all this started. Remember, I told you I always felt you. I don’t know why and I can’t control it. I felt it with Steve even before I turned but it was stronger after. If everything had played out the same way, we would have gotten involved. Each time those assholes went looking for you, they intended to kill you and I will NOT allow anyone to hurt you like that.”

As you three glare at each other, the cellphone in your pocket begins to vibrate. 

“Hello?...Yeah, that’s me…um…ok. I’ll, um, I’ll be right there.”, you sigh as you slap the device. “Steve, what time is it?”

“8pm. Why? Why do you suddenly feel nervous?”

“Can one of you run me somewhere, please?”

“Where do you need to go, princess?”

Both set of eyes were now their regular color as they scanned you over with concern. 

“LA General.”, you reply flatly.

***

“Alright, perfect and here are your visitors passes. Just let the officer outside know you’re the daughter and they will let you through.”, the nurse grinned as you grimly smiled back. 

“Um, please don’t talk when we get in there. No matter what she says. Can you at least listen to me in that regard?”, you plead as you pause at the end of the hallway to address them. 

After both boys nod, you continue along your way, telling the officer outside who you were before he opened the door and allowed you three entry.

“Hey there. Are you Y/N?”, the doctor asks, politely shaking your hand after you nod. “It looks like the prison brought her in because her wounds were too severe to for their staff to handle. The guards said she got into an altercation with one of the other inmates and was stabbed by a shiv in her side. With some surgery and lots of blood, she seems to be doing better. Part of the reason we called you at the time was because due to her medical history with her liver we thought we may need a family member to donate the matching blood type but it looks like we had the perfect type here.”

“When are they taking her back?”, you ask. 

“Um, we need to keep an eye on her for the next couple of days but by the end of the week I imagine. She is a flight risk so we do have to…”, the doctor gestures towards her wrist and the handcuffs as you sigh. 

“Thank you for everything you’ve done. I appreciate it and I’m sure she does to.”

After leaving you alone, you take a seat by the hospital bed and both men do the same on opposite sides of you. 

“Is this your…?”

“Yeah, Eddie, this is my mom.” Your sad eyes scan her over making Steve wince as he feels your pain heightens, still not used to these new vampire things he’s experiencing. “She’s been in and out for years but this is the first time she’s been stabbed. Must have really pissed someone off.”

“I’m surprised you’re listed on her contact sheet. I would have thought due to the charge she wouldn’t be allowed to see you.”, the metalhead mused.

“I’m an adult now. When I was a kid she wasn’t but that was for like 3 years. When she was sentenced to 30 years, I was about fifteen. She tried to escape a few years ago but they caught her pretty quickly. They had called me to notify me thinking she may be coming for me. They found her at a bar about four miles away.”, you chuckled before leaning back in your seat and glaring at the tile floor. 

“I told you I’m not safe. People are always come for me. I never should have reached out to you guys. I should have left you alone—”

“No, no, Y/N. You should have. I know I’ve only been a vampire for a couple of days but this feeling I feel when it comes to you and Eddie…I don’t know how to explain it. When we woke up and you were gone…it felt like—”

“There’s a hole. Like something is missing.”, Eddie answered trying to help. 

“Yeah. If this is what he was feeling for two years after moved here…God, I wish I had known. I would have done anything to help him find out what they were and then find you.

“I thought it was just normal. I love Steve so much but there was always that nagging feeling that somethingwas amiss. Even you said those first few nights, I smiled more and laughed when you were there.”

A tear fell down your cheek as you shook your head. 

“You almost had that feeling again but worse because Steve was almost killed. I felt the things he experienced when he thought you were gone, Eddie. I can’t…I can’t do it. I love you both too much.”

“Jesus fucking Christ. Did I die?”, your mother whines as she cringes opening her eyes. “Trust me, she’s right. She was always meant to get in the way and ruin lives. Seriously, ask the condom that broke when she was conceived.”

Both vampires growled but she was in too much of a haze to notice as she tried to sit up. 

“What happened, mom? Why are people stabbing you now?”

“Because people keep trying to take what’s mine! Why are you even here, Y/N? Go away.”

“They called me because they thought they might need my blood since you’ve damaged all your other organs with years of alcohol. Blood that isn’t family’s surprising didn’t shock your system into shut down.”

“Always so fucking mouthy.”, she groans as she tries to reach for the call nurse button. “At least I can get some drugs.”

“Oh, mama. I’m sorry. Didn’t they tell you? As a ‘former alcoholic’ you don’t get the hard stuff but the Tylenol should be enough.”

At your sarcastic comment, Eddie and Steve felt both pain and satisfaction course through them as memories flashed through your mind. 

“Get. OUT! I didn’t want you here then and I don’t now!”

“Don’t talk to her that way.”, the pretty boy snarled in a deep tone. 

“Steve…please. You promised me.”, you plead. 

“Sweetheart, she shouldn’t be talking to you like this and you shouldn’t allow it.”

“Shouldn’t allow it? Are you fucking kidding me?! She’s weak just like her father was. Why do you think she ran off constantly?! She could never stay and face the music of trouble she caused so she ran and opened her legs to anyone who would take her. I’m not surprised you two fell for it! NOW GE—”

The wind swirled around you as the lights in the room turned off except for the overhead lamp above her hospital bed. Both vampires were on either side of her with Eddie’s palm placed over her mouth. 

“You know, I have a dad like you. Spent most of my life in and out of prison for petty crimes while abusing me and my mother. After she died, he just went out of control until they gave him life back home in Indiana. Thankfully, I had an uncle who took care of me after and then fell in love with a man who loved me for me. Unfortunately, your daughter didn’t have that. She spent her ENTIRE LIFE fighting for it up until a few weeks ago.”

“She seems to think all the bad things that have been happening are her fault. I wonder why that is.”, Steve asked rhetorically. “You don’t deserve her. Even now after everything you said she’s worried we’re going to kill you and, honestly, if she or Eddie wasn’t here I may have followed through with that.”

His eyes turned black in anger as her own widened in fear. 

“Stop it. Leave her be.”, you beg. “Please.”

“Are you sure, baby girl?”, Eddie murmured before abruptly both sets of black eyes looked your way. “Lose the attitude, Y/N.”

“I didn’t say anything.” You glared at them with a fury of your own. “But I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re going to do whatever the fuck you want anyway and I am NOT your baby girl. Not anymore.”

“You want us gone, honey? To ‘protect’ us?”, Steve growled as he began walking towards you. “Fine. Your wish is our punishment.”

Wind blew again and the lights blinked on leaving you and your mother alone.

“Jesus, this medication is a lot stronger than I realized.”, she sighed as you sat down again and began to sob.

##############

True to your request, they left you be and it killed you. Even worse, they hadn’t streamed at all in over two weeks so you weren’t able to even see their faces except in your dreams. Occasionally, you checked the chatter on their site doing the job they had paid you for while reading through people’s comments. 

Most of their fans seemed to think the police had succeeded in scaring them away while others thought you were the reason saying that Mina must have talked them out of it for one reason or another. 

A knock on your door one Saturday afternoon startled you but you were prepared, grabbing a nearby knife as you peaked through the curtain. 

“Dustin? Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Hey, Y/N. May I come in? I swear it’s just me.” Nodding, you allowed the boy entry and gestured towards your couch for him to take a seat. “Oh, um, I won’t be here that long but I just came down to check on Eddie and Steve. Seems Harrington is struggling a bit with being a vampire. Not because of you or anything!”, he quickly countered when your head hung. “At least…I don’t think so.”, Dustin sighs as he leans against your kitchen counter. 

“Mike and I did a ton of research after Steve said Eddie was still alive to try and get some explanation about why he is the way that he is without resorting to regular vampire lore but we couldn’t find anything outside of D&D. Over the past two years, he seems to follow the regular no sunlight, needs blood, and hates crosses but what I’ve always questioned is that feeling thing he’s mentioned.”

“I know in some comics when a vampire turns another they have a connection and can feel each other’s emotions or share memories kind of like what he told me happened after you drank his blood. What confuses me is, you and Steve weren’t turned when he felt you two.”

“Dustin, honey, why are you telling me this?”

The boy sighs again as he crosses his arms over his chest. 

“I’m thinking…that has to mean something, right? Whether it be chemical, cosmical, or supernatural… and the fact that Steve feels it to… that’s not a coincidence, Y/N. They both have been having a hard time and you can see it in their faces… I can see it in yours to.”

“They are streaming tonight. They are going to answer questions and just be seen. I think that will be good for them to get their minds focused on something. Maybe, you should do the same.”

After giving him a hug and walking him out, you sat in front of your computer screen and stared at the blank background for what felt like hours before heavily exhaling and logging into their site. People were a buzz with the fact that they would finally be seeing the vampire they adored so much and the human that took care of him. They had no idea. 

Their grainy faces suddenly illuminated your moniter and your heart shattered into a million pieces. Steve didn’t look like the man you had met a couple of months ago but a shell of someone else. His skin was unbelievably pale and his hair hung in front of his eyes blocking a lot of his face from your view. His body folded into itself as the beautiful smile you had fallen in love with was noticeably absent.  Eddie didn’t look any better as he quietly maneuvered the mouse in front of him as his black eyes scanned the screen. 

“Hey…hey everybody. I know it’s been a while but, um, as you can see I’ve been taking care of Renfield. I…uh…I had to turn him so…”

StokersQueen: “Doesn’t Renfield die after he’s turned? Are we going to lose him?!”

“No…no we aren’t going to lose him. We’ve just been going through a lot right now.”

Dracula4ever: “Is it because of that bitch Mina? I notice she’s not there this time.”

Both men growled at the comment.

“Don’t disrespect her like that.”

Dracula4ever: “Oh please! This show used to be awesome but you bring in one slut and everything changes!”

Dracula4ever has been booted from the stream.

“Mina?”, Eddie asked as his eyes scanned the screen for any confirmation. 

Babygirl85: “Come on, Mina! If you’re there, say something!”

Justhereironically: “MINA! <3”

InnocentLittleMina: “Even if she be not harmed, her heart may fail her in so much and so many horrors; and hereafter she may suffer--both in waking, from her nerves, and in sleep, from her dreams.”

The metalhead exhaled at your quote of the novel as the fans in chat went wild with awes and even more questions. 

“Do you believe in destiny? That even the powers of time can be altered for a single purpose? That the luckiest man who walks on this earth is the one who finds—”

“…true love.”, Steve finishes the quote with a deep tone that sounds nothing like his regular voice. “We miss you.”

“But we aren’t going to force you, sweetheart.”

Exhaling, they close their eyes as they feel all your emotions run through your body before finally landing on desperate wanting and immense love that you had never felt for anyone in your entire life. 

InnocentLittleMina: “I’m scared. Seeing you two in so much pain… I love you so much. I don’t…”

“I know. I know, Mina, but what happened wasn’t your fault. Your mom and childhood weren’t your fault. All the idiot men in your life who hurt you wasn’t because of you. Even as a human, princess, I would have done the same things to protect you because we love you to.”

“You deserve all the love you give to people, honey. It’s ok to let us take care of you and believe me. Out of everything I’ve experienced, this…”, Steve gestures to himself. “…is nothing. I get what Dracula is saying now when it comes to us and our guilt. NONE of this is your doing or your fault.”

They both softly smile at the camera as Eddie leans towards it as if he’s looking into your eyes. 

“Come back to Daddy, baby.”

You don’t even turn off your computer as you swivel in your chair and run towards the front door. Heavy rain hits your face as you search for your keys once you get to your car but ring laced hands abruptly grip your waist and after you blink you find yourself in their bedroom. 

Need overtakes you three as they lay on either side of you and remove your wet clothes while kissing any part of your skin they could reach. 

The sound of constant binging makes Eddie grunt in frustration as a grin stretches across your face. 

“You—mmm—you left the sound on.”, you pant.

Steve’s lips kiss along that sweet spot on your neck as the other vampire whooshes to computer, cheekily smiling as he quickly moves the mouse. 

“Sorry, guys. The three of us need to have a chat that doesn’t involve an audience.”

Getting annoyed with the machine in front of him, he yanks the cord from the wall before sprinting back beside you and attaching his mouth to your neck as well. Their hips grinded against your thighs as the pads of Steve’s fingers played with your clit.

After tilting back to remove his shirt, Eddie leans over your body and a long line of spit leaves his lips falling between your folds as the other boy collects it, pushing it into your pussy with his fingers making you groan. 

The feeling of teeth against your thigh makes you jump and the metalhead’s black eyes meet yours as they silently ask for permission before you nod your approval. Tugging on Steve’s arm, he brings him between your legs, kissing him passionately as their fingers play with your cunt. Both their lips travel along opposite limbs, licking and lightly sucking their way up to your meaty flesh. 

When their fangs penetrate your thighs at the same time, your eyes roll back as the pleasure courses through you. It wasn’t meant to feed, only to sustain as they snacked on your blood while their fingers moved faster against you; Eddie playing with your clit with his thumb while Steve quickly thrust his two digits into your center. 

Coming off you with a pop, you watch as the long-haired vampire made sure his boyfriend healed you properly before doing it himself. They licked your blood of their face and the sight alone had you shuddering as you came. 

“D-Daddy…”, you whimpered as he quickly came up to kiss your lips.

Flipping on to his back, he maneuvered you till you were sitting on his face while hovering over his hard, leaking cock. Spiting over the tip, you smeared it down him with your palm, enveloping your mouth around his length as Steve kissed random parts of your skin. 

Eddie’s tongue immediately began devouring you, flicking against your bundle of nerves as he wrapped his arms around your waist to hold you to him. 

“You look so beautiful like this. So fucking sexy.”, Steve murmured as his face pressed against the side of yours, his humid breathes warming your cheek.

Tilting his head just below yours, his mouth kissed and sucked on his boyfriend’s balls making him buck his hips up in pleasure, choking you slightly as drool spilled from your lips. 

As his lips encased around your clit, the sudden intrusion of Eddie’s finger into your ass simultaneously made you gasp as both vampires mewled at the feeling it gave as it coursed through them as well. 

“Did you like that, baby?”, Steve asked in a low seductive grumble that had you clenching around the other man’s tongue as he shook his head and pressed his face deeper into you. “Yeah? Fuck! I can feel you both. Have you ever had someone fuck you like that before?”

While your hand continued to pump him, Eddie slid another finger inside of you, stretching you further till your vision blurred as your orgasm was swiftly approaching. 

“Answer me, honey. Have you?”

“N-No. Please Daddy. It feels…”

“Yeah? Tell us, baby. How does it feel?” Pressing his nose to your cheek again, your mouth fell open as the English language left your brain. “Come on, Y/N. How does it feel?”

“Good! So fucking good! Please don’t stop!”

Steve grinned as he tenderly petted your head, opening his mouth wide, and holding his own head still as the Eddie rutted his hips quickly, thrusting his cock deep down the vampire’s throat. 

Your release rippled through you as you screamed into his flesh beneath you. Once you had come down, the metalhead firmly pulled on your hair, bringing you up so your back was to his chest while Steve laid in front of you. 

“W-W-Wait, please.” Both vampires pause as your little pleading voice cuts through their need. “If…If we do this…I want Eddie and Steve. Please…I’ve never…”

As they both blink, you watch as their fangs recede and their soft brown color eyes push forward. Eddie’s arm slides under the pillow around your front, hugging you to him as he kisses your shoulder. 

“Everything’s ok, baby girl. You’re safe. If you don’t feel comfortable or you want to stop just let us know ok?”

“Ok, Daddy. Just go slow please.”

As Steve caressed your cheek, you felt the metalhead lean away from you before a bottle popped open and he was on you again. You gasp at the oddly warm feeling of the lube as he works his fingers to take care of you.

Seeing the nervousness flash through your eyes, the other vampire softly tried to soothe you. 

“Daddy’s right, honey. You’re okay. Everything is okay.”

“I saw your first time with him.”, you smile as you cling to Eddie’s arm around your chest. “I felt how scared you were before.”

“Did you see how long we laid there till he really started moving? I thought I was ruining the mood.”, he chuckles. “But he made me feel safe…loved. I trusted him.”, he coos as his eyes flick briefly behind you. “I know you do to because we can feel it and we trust you, Y/N.”

A tear fell down your face and he quickly wiped it away. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve.”

“Hey, look at me. This isn’t your fault. Say it, honey.”

“What happened to you isn’t my fault.”

“I don’t believe you.”, Eddie added as his stern eyes looked you over. “Say it again.”

“What happened to Steve wasn’t my fault.”, you responded with a bit more confidence making them smile. 

“Good girl, sweetheart. Are you ready?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Do you think you can help me, pretty girl?” Taking a hold of one of your wrists, he brought one of your arms behind you and placed your hand on your behind. “Just hold it open for me so I can go slow, ok?”

After nodding, you did what he asked, your breath catching when you felt his cock line up with your entrance. As he began pushing himself into your ass, your body went stiff as your face scrunched in pain. 

“Breathe, Y/N. Relax, honey. It’s going to hurt more if you don’t relax.”, Steve whispers, resting his forehead on yours.

Doing small thrusts behind you, Eddie was pushing himself inch by inch, trusting that you or Steve would stop him should he need to. A small grumble immitted from his chest and his boyfriend reciprocated as his mouth fell open in a silent moan. 

“Fuck, baby. He’s having so much trouble control himself.” As the pretty boy murmurs to you, his hands begin to roam, kneading your breasts down to your center. “God damnit. You’re so wet. Does it feel good now, Y/N?”

Between his words and Eddie’s hold on you as he split you open, you couldn’t open your mouth. Hell, you could barely remember your name as the pain subsided and the need for him to fully take you took over. 

When his hips connected with yours, you whimpered as your head fell forward. 

“Talk to us, baby, please.”

“M-Move. You…you can move now.”

“Hang on, princess. We—fuck—we need to see if you can handle us both. God fucking damn it. Are you fucking kidding me?” 

You knew he wasn’t talking to you because you felt it to. You were so full of him you could only imagine how tight you were squeezing him. 

“Y/N, honey, I’m going to lift your leg over my waist, ok?”

“Ok, Steve.”

Scooting closer to you, his palm tenderly ran along the skin of your thigh as he pulled your leg over his hip causing you and Eddie to groan as your body jostled slightly. Running his mushroom tip along your slit, he collected your slick before slowly pushing his cock into your center. 

Your arm immediately shot out under his own to cling to his shoulder as a bunch of pleasurable feelings overwhelmed your senses. 

“Oh my god.”

Both vampires made subtle motions, pulling back slightly before thrusting all the way inside of you again. 

“Are…Are you ok, Y/N?”, Steve asked, his voice a mix between his and the gruff timbre of his vampire tone.

Nodding aggressively, you encourage them to make you theirs and they don’t disappoint. The obscene sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room mixed with loud moans from all three of you. They both hit a steady rhythm hitting all those sensitive spots inside of you at the same time till you were sobbing as your nails dug into their flesh. 

“Fuck… bite me.”

A different type of want and need flows through them at your request as they snarl under their breath. Lifting your head, you rest your cheek on Steve’s as he doesn’t even hesitate, breaking your skin with his fangs and draining your blood. Eddie tugs on his hair and the boy growls causing the metalhead to roughly grip his face. 

“I didn’t hear you fucking ask. She’s not in charge of your pleasure, I am.” Their black eyes glare at each other before he releases him to continue feeding. “I’ll deal with that attitude later.”

Turning his attention back to you, his demeanor softens. 

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Daddy, please. I trust you. I trust you, baby.”

Biting the other side of your throat, your eyes roll and flutter closed as they pound into you harder, clinging to each other over you as they eat. The bed shakes at their quickened pace and your fingers tangle in Eddie’s hair behind you as you drag your nails down Steve’s back. 

You cum harder than you ever had in your entire life, shuddering against them as your body goes limp. 

“Please…”

Your tone was smaller than before but it practically screamed in their ears as they released you letting your head fall. You watched with hazy, half lidded eyes as their lips mingled together; panting into each other’s mouths as they came.

Steve head fell hard against the pillow as he tried to catch his breath while Eddie hastily healed the wounds on your neck, kissing them softly as they closed.

“Since its both of us breaking your skin, I don’t want to leave you exposed like that. Are you alright, baby?”

After carefully pulling out of you, the vampire in front of you tenderly pushed your hair away from your face as he checked you over. 

“H-Heavy…”

“I’m going to get her something to eat.”

While waiting for him to return, Eddie slowly pulled out of you as well, murmuring apologies as you winced. Running back to the bed, you grimaced at the sandwich Steve held in his hands. 

“I know it seems like a lot but we’ll just take little bites, okay?”

As delicately as he could, the long-haired vampire sat up, bringing you with him so you could utilize him to lean against as you ate and drank the water they gave you. 

“We’re kind of back to the trial and error stage. I was going to bring a coke but I wasn’t sure if that would be too much sugar plus you need to hydrate.”

“Maybe juice next time?”

“Yeah… I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”

“It’s been a rough couple of weeks.”

You heard them talking but they both sounded so far away. You had never been in this headspace before; the little girl headspace. Even as a child you weren’t really allowed to be one having to grow up pretty quickly in your environment. An adults mindset found you before you entered your double digits and battled with the developing child you had been. Even as a current adult, you felt them go toe to toe constantly but right now in this moment… all you heard was the little girl.

“Baby, what’s going on?”

Blinking, your glassy eyes turned to face them as you scrunched your nose in thought.

“I’ve never…felt little…like this before. My…my mind…is so quiet. I’ve never… I’m sorry for leaving.” The crack in your voice broke their hearts as Steve set everything aside so he could move closer to you and hug you with Eddie. 

“It’s ok, sweetheart. You’re here now and these past few weeks have been scary for all of us.”

“I saw you on the screen. What happened? Were you not eating? Dustin said Steve was struggling.”

Before answering your questions, they took you in their arms and brought you to a bath. After setting you in the warm water and cleaning your skin, they each took a seat near the tub with Steve on the edge and Eddie on the floor reaching over to pet your head. 

“We don’t know how to explain it and, to be honest, we didn’t want to because we didn’t want you to feel like…you HAD to be here. I told you before I always felt you but after having you and losing you—”

“It was like being stabbed again.”, Steve cut in. “Honey, I was in love with you before but after turning and feeling what Eddie had been talking about… I felt like I did when I lost him.”

“Steve, I’m—”

“No, no, baby. I’m not saying it to make you feel bad. I just…all of my feelings were…are… amplified to a 10 and I didn’t want to do anything let alone eat. We did of course but it was never enough. Never enough to fill that hole of you not being here.”

“You complete us, sweetheart. You ARE a part of us and like Stevie said, we aren’t saying this to make you feel bad. If you want to leave again you can and we won’t stop you but even though you’re not a vampire I feel like you felt the same things we did.”

“I knew from the first time I saw you on your stream… I knew that I loved you; both of you. I just thought maybe I was being crazy.”, you giggle making them chuckle as well. “Not being near you or even seeing your faces these past couple of weeks has just killed me. I dreamed about you every night.”

“So did we, honey.”

While Eddie lifted you out of the tub and got you in comfy clothes, Steve rapidly changed the sheets so you three could promptly climb into bed. 

“Thank you for being so gentle with me.”

“Of course, pretty girl. Did you like it? What we did.” When you nod your head, his fingers caress your face and travel up into your hair. “Can you say it?”

“I liked what we did together?”

“What did we do, baby?”

Biting your bottom lip, you blush as he smiles while the other vampire settles in beside you. 

“I liked feeling you and Steve inside at me at the same time.”

“Good. We can show you so much more whenever your ready. Steve and I have experimented with a lot especially when we were starting to delve into the dominate world. Tomorrow I can show you one of those things when I punish this bad boy over here.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“You didn’t ask to feed on her and you gave me attitude. Who controls your pleasure?”

“You do.”

“I’m sorry, what? I didn’t hear that. Did you hear that, baby girl?”

“No, Daddy, I didn’t.”

Steve smirks as you and Eddie grin at him with wide, beautiful, tooth filled smiles. 

“I said you do, Daddy.”

#################

@chelebelletx @mandyjo8719 @nailbatanddungeon

[evans23]

Always and forever

Pairing : Sinclair x Reader OC

Summary : You’re sick and Sinclair takes care of you.

Tag(s)/Warning(s) : fluffy puppy Sinclair ❤️

A/N: Hello dear 😁 Hope you will enjoy the best boyfriend a girl could wish for ! No time to proofread but don't hesitate to point out any too obvious mistake.

Also read on AO3

You had begun to cough yesterday afternoon but you were so sure it was nothing. You helped your colleagues to reorganise the library of the school where you worked. You thought it was probably all the dust you had inhaled but this morning your throat was aching, your head was pounding, your eyes were swollen and you were cold. Atrociously cold. You turned over, spreading your arm in the hope of hugging your husband but all your hand met was the mattress sheet.

You whined, disappointed to not find some relief in his arms before realising that if Sinclair wasn’t near you anymore, then you had better wake up and rush or you’d be late for work.

You jumped off the bed and walked briskly to the bathroom where you could hear the shower running down. Sinclair was still doing his morning routine, so you weren’t as late as you thought. 

He smiled at you Wilde going out of the shower, wrapping himself in a plushy towel. You tried to smile back to him but you lamentably failed, your eyes fighting against your strong will to keep them open.

“I forgot to set off my alarm,” you said with a hoarse voice. “And you didn’t wake me up,” you added with a cute pout on your lips.

Sinclair chuckled at your theatric acting. He leant on and his lips brushed your forehead. Normally, you woke up together, and took a morning shower together, when you were ahead of your time you indulged yourselves with a quickie in the shower, and then you wandered about your feminine routine which consisted of doing your hair, moisturised your face and put a good amount of sunscreen on your fragile face. No makeup, not since Sinclair told you how beautiful you were with your bare face and that beautiful face of yours.

During this long preparation time, Sinclair ate his breakfast and then he drove you to your work, even though you had already told him it didn’t bother you to take the tube, he definitely couldn’t let you be in the midst of the hot and stinky train when he could drive you there as the school where you were an English teacher was only at 15 minutes from his workplace. As you finished working around 4.30 in the afternoon, you walked every day to his place and waited for him either at the little cafe in front of his building or, when you knew he didn’t have any meetings, you went up to his office where you read or did your teacher stuff while he was working. 

Sometimes, he couldn’t finish work as usual and you had to wait until late in the early evening to go home with him but you didn’t mind. You knew how much he liked having you around him and Su Ying, your housekeeper but also your friend now as you were so fond of each other and often went on a spree shopping together was taking care of your dog, the one you had before meeting Sinclair and who has immediately been accepted by the man when you move in with him years ago, and most important, when you came back home late, she made sure the dinner was prepared for both of you and easy to reheat if needed. Not that you were into food so much, you had a petite appetite but Sinclair was really into his food.

Yet, today the mere idea of eating made you want to bring up the bile in your stomach.

“Honey, you’ve been coughing and snoring all night. I called in sick your boss and he wishes you a quick recovery.”

“I don’t snore,” you said, gently hitting his arm, ignoring momentarily his thoughtfulness.

He knew you all too well. If he hadn’t called your boss to tell him how sick you were, you would have gone to work, bravely, oblivious that your symptoms would only get worse the day after. 

“ Yes honey, when your nose is stuffed, you snore,” he chuckled, rubbing your cold arms. “And now please, indulge your thoughtful husband and go back to bed. I will bring you a cup of tea and some medications before leaving the house.”

He didn’t have to ask you twice, you came back to bed, smiling when you saw your dog had taken Sinclair place in the bed, not that your husband would mind it. He loved the dog and enjoyed the happiness your four paws friend had brought into the house.

He had such a hard time after his divorce. Not that the fiendish woman had made the divorce difficult, she knew all too well her action could send her to jail if Sinclair revealed the truth behind the divorce to his solicitor, but it had let him totally distraught. He was in his mid thirties at this time and all the future he had imagined with Natalie had been turned off. Yet, the worst for him was the culpability he felt for not having noticed signs of Natalie's unhappiness.

At the time, he also was afraid to be alone his whole life. He met you at almost 40 while you were 31 and what he didn’t know at this point in your relationship was that you felt exactly the same as him. Since the beginning of your story, you had told him multiple times that it wasn’t his fault if his stupid ex-wife was unable to talk with him about any of her troubles. Sinclair loved that about you, you were easy to talk with, and a good listener to with he could always confess everything as his secrets were yours and you never judged him for anything. He thought Natalie was his soulmate at the time but he realised how wrong he was after her affair and even more after meeting you. You came with your own failures and insecurities but together you came across everything, becoming stronger as your love for each other made your soul merge as only one. 

He came back to you with a cup of tea and a slice of fried bread with some avocado on it and medication for your throat and cough.

“Sorry honey, we don’t have anything for your nose but I’ll get you some stuff from the chemistry after work. And yes, I know you don’t eat breakfast but please, just this once, for me, eat something, it’ll do well to your throat and you need strength to get quickly over it.”

You were going to protest but his hopeful eyes and the pride on his features for taking care of you make you relinquish. 

“Thank you Sinclair. You are a really good husband.”

“Of course I am,” he answered playfully, watching you take a bite of your toast with a sense of relief as you weren’t a too difficult patient.

“I brought you water too, don’t forget you have to stay hydrated, even more when sick and it will alleviate the aching of your throat and your head. Oh, and I asked Su Ying to make you some soup for lunch. I know you’re not hungry when sick but please, make an effort and try to eat a bit. If not for you, for me, honey,” he said while looking at you with adoration.

“I will. You’re going to be late Sinclair.”

“Yes, you’re right. If you need anything call my direct line and Su Yong is there until 4 but I will come back on time today.”

“Don’t worry Sinclair, it’s just a cold, I’ll be fine very soon.”

“I know, I know, but I don’t like seeing you so sick.”

“And I don’t like you telling me I snore. Please, keep that kind of information for you, I like to believe I’m a real lady,” you teased before a violent coughing fit made you shrink in the bed.

“Here, here,” said Sinclair, holding out a glass of water for you. 

You thank him with a nod, sipping the water while he ran his hand across your hair.

“Sleep now honey, you need it. And I swear to never reveal you snore when sick,” he added playfully.

He kissed you goodbye and you let out a contented sigh, acknowledging your chance to have such a kind and thoughtful husband. You were so lucky when you met him by chance, not knowing that the rambling man who gave you information about everything and anything in less than 20 minutes would become your husband and best friend for the rest of your life. 

You woke up at the sound of Su Ying footsteps when she brought you the soup recommended by Sinclair. You did your best to drink it, knowing that Sinclair was educated and wise enough to give the best advice to make you feel better. You then drifted away again, only waking up at the sound of Sinclair’s car getting parked in the front yard, noticing he was home earlier than usual. You were sure he had brought some of his work with him to carry it out during the weekend while he would watch over you. 

You felt so much exhausted that you didn’t have the courage to go down and welcome him. You nodded on and off several times before he came to your shared bedroom to check on you. 

“Feel better honey ?" he asked genuinely worried for you.

You didn't know how pale you looked but you were clearly unwell and Sinclair was relieved to know the next day was your day off and then you will have the whole week-end to recover.

"Not really," you muttered.

"I should call the doctor."

"No, it will be…" you didn't finish your sentence as Sinclair cut you off.

"I will call the doctor and bring you another cup of tea and I've some medication for your nose too," said Sinclair firmly.

You didn't protest, you hadn't the force to do so anyway. You dozed on and off while Sinclair had a shower. You did your best to drink your tea, which alleviated a bit of your aching throat and after the physician's departure, you fell fast asleep again. You woke up by hearing your name being whispered by your husband. You open a weary eye, feeling the back of his hand against your forehead. 

"I think you have a little fever. I will run you a bath. Do you know how good is it to take a hot bath when sick ? It will help to bring down your slight fever and I am sure after that you'll feel better."

He continued rambling about all the benefits a bath could have with a sicker while you listened absentmindedly to him. When the bath was ready, he came back to help you walk to the bathroom.

"Do you want me to go away ?" he asked, eager to give you intimacy if you needed it.

"No, stay. I don't want to be alone,' you said, sinking into the steaming bath, revelling when the water has relaxed your muscles, muscles you didn't know were so strained. 

Sinclair smiled fondly, his heart swelling with affection as you took his hand. He liked how childlike you could be when sick, more clingy than usual, desperate at the mere idea of being alone while unwell. When you came out from the now lukewarm water, he wrapped you in a thick towel and dried off your long hair.

"We don't need you to be more sick," he said while fighting with the dryer cable. 

He gave you another pyjama, your previous one was wet with sweat and he ordered you to come back to bed. You didn't need to be told twice, you were too tired to even remember your own name. 

"Honey, time to eat," he announced cheerfully. 

You weren't really asleep or awake. You were in this in-between where your brain was fighting the sleep but at the same time, you weren't really conscious. 

"I'm not hungry," you groaned.

"I know, but you have medication to take and you can't do that with an empty stomach," he answered with a chuckle.

"I already ate this morning. Solely to please you," you answered back, your voice groggy. 

"Please [Y/N], just a slice of bread," he insisted, sitting down beside you with a trail that had his own food on it. 

You sighed, annoyed, even though you knew he was right and his insistence was just the proof of his concern and thoughtfulness towards you and inwardly, you felt lucky to have such a man at your side. 

"I'm not sure my stomach will keep it," you muttered, leaning up against the headboard, your head poring over his shoulder.

"Try anyway. You'll feel better after eating something more consistent than just some soup."

He started explaining to you why eating, even though sick, was important and yet again, you did as he said, knowing perfectly how right he was. 

"Good girl," he praised you with a smile.

He knew how you hated being in such a weak position but he was trying his best to make you feel better and to let you feel taken care of. 

"Do you want to watch some TV ? Or do you want me to read for you ?" he asked as you snuggled into him, finding solace in his arms. 

"Either," you answered, "choose what you prefer, anyway I'll probably fall asleep no matter what your choice is."

"Then I think I'll read a bit."

He grabbed his book, smiling when you asked him to read out loud for you. After ending up two chapters, he looked down at you to see you were still awake.

"Do you need anything ? Water ? Painkiller for your head ? Do you want me to turn off the light and stop talking ?"

"No, all I want is to be in your arms."

He held you tighter against him, kissing the top of your head.

"Continue reading Sinclair, please,” you asked gently, closing your eyes.

He continued for another hour, even though you had fallen asleep after ten minutes. He bookmarked the page he had arrived at, looking at you with a surge of love and affection, thinking how lucky he was to have you in his life. After Natalie, he thought he could never be happy again but you had proved him to be wrong. 

"I love you," he whispered, kissing your forehead and making sure the duvet covered you well.

"I love you too," you answered quietly.

Sinclair's smile widened. Yes, he was definitely lucky to have such a wonderful woman in his life, his arms, his bed. He couldn't be thankful enough to have the chance to call you his wife. 

Then, his smile transformed into a silent laugh as you began to snore slightly. Yes, you were definitely screwed up for the weekend and maybe even next week as the doctor was quite sure you wouldn't have recovered for Monday. 

But eventually, you'll get over it and he'll be taking care of you until you are better and even after that. Because you were his everything as he was yours and for you, he would do anything. Because before you he was incomplete but now, your two souls were one, always and forever. 

[nevernonline]

✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #20 lost and found.

synopsis: over the past ten years you’ve fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it’s clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex’s, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

word count: 3.3k (texts under the passage <3)

masterlist ▸ 019 anywhere you go. ▸ 021 we're so back.

Minghao wasn’t sure his tactic to get y/n alone was going to work, but it was his only sure chance to try. All night up in his hotel room he thought of different things to say to her, questions that had been brewing in his mind for the past two weeks since her failure of a birthday party and her somewhat of a disappearance. 

Wonwoo was still sleeping in the bed adjacent to his, he knew he’d have to be up early to get a chance to watch Joshua exit y/n’s home so he woke up before the sun and tiptoed into the bathroom trying not to wake his friend who might try to talk him out of his plan. 

The bathroom light woke his tired body up even more. Was it silly to even try to look good for her? What if Wonwoo was telling the truth? Y/n maybe really did ask to not see them and only trusted her true feelings with his friend over him. 

Something about Wonwoo even sticking his neck out so Minghao could go talk to her in private was enough of a clue that he was lying to her. 

Minghao grabbed the keys from Wonwoo’s car, temporarily abandoning his four friends at the motel. After all, he knew they would understand. He drove down the clean old streets of y/n's hometown and smiled, imagining her when she was younger walking around, grabbing ice cream, doing her school shopping, someday maybe he’d get the chance to experience it with her, but today wasn’t that day. 

Pulling up to the corner, behind another black car he checked the time on his phone and waited nearly a block away from her big front door until he saw Joshua pull out of her driveway. 

After sitting in the car for what felt like a decade, Minghao caught a glimpse of Josh running around the side of the house to his car and starting the engine. For some reason he didn’t pull out of the driveway immediately which made the pit in Hao’s stomach fall deeper. Was he waiting for y/n? Was his plan going to fail him? 

But, the universe worked in his favor as Joshua pulled out of the driveway all by his lonesome and headed the opposite way down the block. When his car was finally out of sight, Minghao stepped outside into the fresh air and walked up the front walkway to her house. 

Unsure if he should knock or ring the doorbell to insure she heard that someone was waiting on the front porch, he saw y/n through the large glass window and stared for a moment at the back of her head. 

Taking a deep breath in he decided on a light knock, waiting patiently for her to come answer the door. 

“Josh, Seriously you have a key why are you kno-” 

As the door split open to reveal the girl he hadn’t seen in too long, she gasped and stood to look at him with a blank face. 

“Oh.” 

“That’s all you can say?” 

“I’m not really sure what to say, why are you here?” 

“I didn’t believe anything Wonwoo had told me yesterday, can we talk?” 

“Uh, yeah. Come in.” 

Minghao stepped through the door into y/n’s world and followed her through the house to the kitchen. 

“Want any coffee, matcha, water, alcohol?” 

 “Waters good.” 

Grabbing two glasses one for water and one for a glass of wine y/n felt like she so desperately needed to ease her stress, she sat down across from him at the table. Her eyes puffy, her face dull and dry, almost like she hadn’t been sleeping and probably crying. 

“So?” 

“Well first of all, it’s good to see you. I don’t really know how to start off asking you anything, but I guess I really need to know why you lied about writing the letter?” 

“Oh. Well I didn-” 

“Y/n come on. We both know you didn’t write it. I can read Wonwoo like a book, he was insisting a little too much that you didn’t want to see us. I won’t entertain it for even a second.” 

“Damn, Wonwoo. Well, the night of the party after Mingyu left his office to go and help Minnie, uh, Mimi came in after the lights went out and she threatened me. She gave me the letter to sign and told me to block you guys and go somewhere else.” 

“Threatened you how?” 

“Just that if she didn’t force me out, she would never get what she wanted.” 

“Which is?” 

“She didn’t say. She just handed me car keys and a zip drive.” 

“Did you look to see what was on it?” 

“No. I don’t care.” 

“But, it could be something good.” 

“It might be and it also might be nothing, but I want to be done with her. I want no stress. I was so happy before she came back into my life again and for a moment I thought she really wanted to move passed whatever fucking issue she has with me and be friends. I really just don't understand the issue.” 

“She’s jealous.” 

“But, why? She’s successful, her parents have money, she’s not unfortunate looking at all. She has nothing to be jealous of me for.” 

“Joshua? Mingyu? Minnie? The list goes on and on, she never could make friends who liked her more than they liked you.” 

“They did like her. I thought once she got with Joshua it was over the first time, then all hell broke loose. It’s like whenever she’s around everything in my life that was starting to be good goes to shit.” 

“You have to stop letting her get away with it.” 

“I just don’t want to deal with it anymore, Hao I’m so fucking tired.” 

“You have to deal with it. I know it’s eating away at you, but if you let it continue, you let her take over your life. I know you would never forgive yourself for that. Plus, you have some dumbass friends helping you and one smart one. Seokmin, Jun, Vernon, and Wonwoo need you, your the glue. They’ve been so sad thinking you just left for no reason other than you didn’t want to see them anymore.” 

“And you?” 

“Yeah. Of course. Why do you think I'm here convincing you to come back and be with us? I’d even offer to get on my hands and knees and beg but I don’t want it to come to that.” 

“I mean you could.” 

Minghao laughed at y/n’s small bit of sarcasm coming back to her, when he heard someone opening the front door, thinking it was Joshua he got up to leave when y/n stopped him and got up herself. 

“Dad? Where do you think you’re going, I said if you need something to let me know.” 

“Ah, honey. Just wanted to sit in the sun for a few minutes, and didn't want to bother you and your friend.” 

y/n looked over at Minghao, putting her finger up to gesture one minute, wrapped her arm around her fathers and led him towards the back of their house. 

Minghao just smiled back, watching her walk away out the patio door, helping her dad with his cane as she opened the door up and sat him in a chair under the sun. 

Before she came back in he studied how well she took care of him, placing a pillow behind his back slowly and comfortably, pointing at a tree to show him a bird, and a gesture which made Minghao think she was asking him a question. 

When she came back in she headed straight to the fridge and grabbed three cans of beer, walking back to Minghao cuddling with her dog on her childhood couch. 

“Come on.” 

“What?” 

“You’re going to have a beer with my dad, come on. His request. Bring Lucy with you.” 

She smiled gesturing to her small dog sitting on Minghaos lap, he gracefully picked her up, getting nervous to meet the man y/n had amazing things to tell him before. 

“Don’t be scared, kiddo. I don’t bite.” 

“Nice to meet you sir, I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

Minghao opened a can of beer, placing it in the older man’s slightly shaking fingers, making sure he had his grip just right before opening the two following cans. 

“So, you’re the boy my daughter told me about huh? The artist.” 

“Talking to your dad about me, y/n? Wow.” 

“Na, once or twice.” 

“She doesn’t shut up about you, you might out rank Seokmin.” 

“Dad no-“ 

“No, let the gentleman talk, y/n. I want to hear it.” 

Y/n just shook her head, sitting back in her chair, blushing slightly. 

“Nothing but good things of course, I kept begging her to bring you over. But, she never did. Keep bringing that Joshua instead. He was never my favorite kid, nice, but a little bit of a follower.” 

“Well I'm glad she finally let us meet even though she didn’t have much of a choice.” 

“Me too. I heard you used to be a little bit of an artist yourself, in the kitchen.” 

“Oh, definitely. Those were my glory days, now all I have to show for it is a little bit of a messed up leg and some grease burns, but the memories of it is all that matters. My restaurant is going well even without me, maybe it hurts my pride slightly as a perfectionist, but my wife knows her way around a kitchen better than me at this point.” 

“Ah, so y/n’s mom took over for you when you left?” 

“She always was in the kitchen with me, sous chef, that’s how we met. Many, many years ago. I was pretty new in the restaurant industry, we met at a cooking class. Been going strong ever since.” 

Minghao smiled watching y/n hear her father relive his life with such pride. He knew how much her parents meant to her, but now he understood why she loved to be loved, it was what she was used to, what she needed. He was the same. 

“A shame I didn’t get to meet her then.” 

“Well, she’ll be home-“ y/n’s father looked down at his watch, “An hour probably, you can stay for dinner if you like. Maybe y/n can show you how we are in the kitchen.” 

“I don’t think he can stay, dad. His friends are waiting for him at the hotel.” 

“Nonsense, call them a car, I’ll give you money.” 

“But-“ 

“Y/n, no. I insist. I have lots to talk to my new friend Minghao about. Get them here.” 

Minghao pulled his phone out, texting Wonwoo to get ready to come over to your house with the rest of the guys. Saying sorry he took so long to let him know how it was going. 

“Alright, sir. I let them know and called them over.” 

“Sir? I’m far too young for that, call me Wynn.” 

Y/n stood up from the table, excusing herself to go and take a shower, giving a slight look to her dad, almost begging for him not to embarrass her before waltzing inside followed by her small curly haired dog. 

Minghao sat and listened to many stories about her parents' lives, everything that went down with y/n before he had met her, he almost felt her father let him in even further to her life than she had on her own. 

A woman Minghao had assumed was y/n’s mom, considering her good looks and similar bone structure walked onto the patio, beaming a smile at her husband and coming over to kiss his cheek, took one look at Minghao and he already knew she was aware of who he was. Which was a confident point to him, y/n really did talk to her parents about him. Maybe he’d probe her later about the types of things she may have said. 

“Who’s this striking young man, honey? Where’d you find him?” 

“Well, he came over pleading to me to buy some candy for his fundraiser, and figured I’d give him some beers in exchange for candy.” 

“Ah, smart.” 

Y/n’s mom came over to Minghao as he stood out of his chair to greet her with a hand outstretched as she pulled on it and gave him a big hug. 

“I’m only kidding, I know who you are. I’m sure my husband told you our silly daughter doesn’t shut up about you.” 

“Good things?” 

“Oh, of course. Don’t tell her I told you this but, I think she may have a bit of a crush. I see why.” 

Minghao blushed, still holding onto her moms hand. 

“She must have forgotten to tell me how beautiful you are, I see where she gets it from.” 

“Oh, wow. A charmer. I love that. You’re staying for dinner?” 

“Yes, if that’s okay.” 

“I insist, if my husband hasn’t already. What would you like?” 

“Y/n actually made me that chicken recipe of yours… if it’s not too hard.” 

“Oh, she definitely likes you. Not hard at all.” 

“Honey, y/n has some more friends coming. How many did you say, Minghao?” 

“Four more. If that’s okay?” 

“The more the merrier. I’ll go get started. Where is that girl anyway?” 

“Shower.” 

“Okay, don’t hesitate to make yourself at home. I’ll go get started, gentlemen.” 

Y/n sat on the floor of her shower, letting the hot water rush down her skin. Wanting to feel it burning into her as she contemplated how dumb she’s been. 

She felt awful for letting her friends think she didn’t like them, that she was doing horrible things to make them hate the girl who was actually doing them to her. 

Was she excited to see her friends? Of course. But, she knew it came with a bunch of unanswered questions they couldn’t get to until later considering she never told her parents the new chapter in the Mimi saga, they already hated her for the past, but they would hate her more for this recent fuck up. 

She was looking down at her wrinkling hands as the door opened to the bathroom, a cold rush of air hitting her skin under the warm water. 

“Honey? Everything okay?” 

“Oh. Hi, mom. I’m good, just shaving.” 

“Alright, sweetie. When you’re finished would you mind helping me in the kitchen? If not, that's alright.” 

“Of course. I’ll be down in a second.” 

“Alright.” 

Seconds after her mom shut the door, y/n shut the hot water off, basking in her last moments of solitude and got ready to head back downstairs. 

As she was walking around the corner of the staircase, she heard a familiar voice at the door, Seokmin. 

Her best friend. The one person she felt the most guilty not talking to. 

Her mom was basically yelling with joy seeing him and Jun walk into her house again, as well as greeting two more new faces with her infectious cheerful nature. 

She told her to grab the cooler of drinks from the kitchen and head outside to meet her husband and Minghao. 

Y/n wasn’t sure how to make her entrance. 

As she reached the kitchen, her mom just gave her a small smile as she was cutting into the various fresh veggies from her garden, nodding her head to the door, forcing her to go greet them. 

She took a deep breath in, taking a sip of her moms wine sitting on her marble countertop and headed outside. 

“Y/n!!” 

All four of her friends greeted her loudly, the two of them who’ve known her the longest nearly having tears welling up in their eyes. 

“Hi. You guys look so nice? I’m in pajamas. What the hell.” 

“Go change, come on. We were telling your dad we’re having a small birthday party for you tonight.” 

“Jun, you don’t have to-“ 

“Shut up, yes we do. Now go. Minghao help her, she will need it.” 

“Guys no.” 

“Go, go, go.” 

“But my mom-“ 

“Honey, mom will be fine. Go on.” 

“Okay.” 

Y/n let Minghao back up the same staircase she had just come down, he took in the walls full of family photos and young pictures of y/n as she led him to the pastel blue colored walls of her childhood room. Full of posters and moments of her life. 

“The closet is slim pickings here and don’t mind the bedsheets, butterflies were super cool okay.” 

“Butterflies are still cool.” 

“Sorry we didn’t get to finish talking before and for my parents, they love company.” 

“No. They’re amazing. I see where you get it from.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Can I ask an innocent question?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Is this the room that, you know.” 

“Mimi filmed me in? Yes.” 

“Oh, sorry.” 

“Don’t worry. So, my closet is obviously here. Overflowing. Uh, yeah, have at it, Hao.” 

“Also can I just say right here right now, your dad is fucking cool.” 

“Really? He’s not embarrassing you?” 

“No. He’s fun.” 

Y/n just laughed, sitting crossed legged on the edge of her twin sized bed. Waving him along to do his work. 

“What about… maybe this?” 

Minghao pulled out a long sleeved black dress, something y/n only bought to have in case the boy she thought she would love forever asked her on a date. It’s never been worn even though it’s been in her closet for years. She almost hesitated and said no, but the butterflies in her stomach watching Minghao pull it from the closet changed her mind. 

“Okay.” 

She got up and grabbed it from his hands, staring at it admirably as he watched her eyes light up. 

“Cover your eyes, please.” 

“Sorry. Okay.” 

Minghao didn’t even question her, he took his hands over his eyes as he closed them and listened to the signs as she was getting undressed. He never looked, even though he’s seen her less than clothed before. 

She tapped his forehead to let him know she was done, giggling as he jumped a little not knowing their proximity. 

He opened his eyes, staring at her. Unaware his jaw had dropped to the floor as he looked at her up and down, pulling his hands from his face and running them down the sleeves covering her arms. 

“Wow. That’s so..” 

“So? Bad? Good? What?” 

“Beautiful, yeah good obviously. It’s nice. Why have you never worn it?” 

“Oh, I was saving it for something special.” 

“Ah.” 

Minghaos hands still rested on her arms, staring into her eyes. Feeling the urge to kiss her, but didn’t know how to move. 

She just looked back at him, smiling, almost wondering why he wasn’t making a move, before a knock came onto her latched door. 

“Guys? Dinners are almost ready, come on.” 

They broke apart at the knock, leaving the lingering tension in the air around them. 

“Have we really been up here that long? Your dad will hate me.” 

“No, they know I would never do any funny business. Probably just assumed we were busy talking or something.” 

“Okay? Good.” 

“Can we finish this later?” 

“Y/n are you flirting with me?” 

“I think so?” 

“Good enough for me.” 

As they ate dinner, drank, and laughed y/n realized what she had been missing. 

Her friends, no matter the situation, were always here for her. 

The decorations, the flowers, the small cake they had picked up on their way over was all an effort to prove to her they would always have her back. 

When they all finally snuggled up into bed, her last thought was she would do anything to have it back, without all the complications. 

note: hi, omg? I have been so busy, but like literally am finally able to be here and post my last (2?/3?) chapters of this wild ride. sorry it took me like... forever?? but pls enjoy. I missed u, sorry it's sort of short also?and chaotic? yes. am I just apologizing.. uh, yes, but ok anyway, lolol? also my friend surprised me w/ txt tickets for my upcoming b-day so uh... cunty. ily ily. (also did not edit excuse me ok lol, bye)

taglist:@sun-daddy-yoriichi@hipsdofangirl@kissesfrmwonwoo@minhui896@wonwooz1@porridgesblog@jasssy051@soonyoungblr@saucegirlreads@musingsofananxiouspotato@young-adult-summer@punkhazardlaw@bibs-world@the-swageyama-tobiyolo@wonuulvr@woozixo@k-drama-adict@90s-belladonna@blaycke@dnylwoo@to-mi-yo, @nonononranghaee @bee-the-loser @mxnhoeuwu

[ch0k3herwithaseaview]

@jegulus-microfic | april 22 evoke | words: 1,6k

big shout out to @frnkmush for helping me with this one, you’re such an angel 🫶🏼

tw: swearing, mentions of wounds

part one

On Monday evening, Regulus received an Instagram message request from someone called jfprongs. He went to check on the person’s profile to see who they were, and—oh god.

At the sight of a radiant smile, bronze skin, and golden glasses, all memories from the night before evoked in him. He suddenly remembered making an absolute fool of himself by asking a doctor who just stitched him up on a date.

While he was drunk.

The first thing he did was send a screenshot of the profile and the message that read just a simple ‘Hi’ to the group chat.

i can fix him (i can’t)

Reg

<2 photos attached>

that’s the doctor from last night

what do i do??????????

Barty

skakksjsksjsjsjsjajsjsj

Evan

x2

Pandora

x3

what is he doing in your dms?

Reg

…

i may or may not have asked him out

There was a short pause before his phone started ringing.

“What the fuck do you mean you asked him out?” Pandora asked, amused. In the background, Regulus could hear Barty and Evan laughing hysterically.

“Well, I was drunk, and he was really hot. We should all be grateful I only did that instead of trying to convince him to fuck me on his desk,” he responded, trying to take off the bandage off of the fresh wound without making it hurt more than necessary.

On the other end of the line, he could hear Panda huffing a small laugh. “Yeah, thank god that whore didn’t come out.”

“Any—oh fuck, it hurts—anyways, what do I do now?” Regulus asked again, finally throwing away the old bandage and starting to clean the cut. He hated using disinfectants on any part of his body, really, but on the face, it felt worse than anything.

His friend hummed thoughtfully. “I think you should text him back and see how it goes,” and so he did.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

On Tuesday evening, exactly at 7:36 p.m., Regulus was sitting on a bench in front of his apartment building and waiting for a grey Mercedes to arrive.

After he answered James yesterday, they talked a bit and agreed that Drunk Regulus’ idea about meeting sooner was actually a pretty good one. So he sat there, checking his phone every three seconds, hoping to see a message that would say ‘I’m here’.

He picked it up again when a grey car parked next to him and the passenger’s window rolled down.

“Hi Regulus, come in,” James invited him with a warm smile painted on his lips.

As Regulus took the front seat, the other man reached to the back, pulling a small bouquet of purple carnations.

“What’s that?” Regulus asked, confused. James eyes widened at that.

“Well, I assumed it’s a date, and I thought it would be a nice gesture, but if I overstepped or misread—“

“No, no, no, absolutely! That is a date, and those are lovely, I just—I'm not used to getting flowers.” He could feel his cheeks starting to burn a little when James smiled wildly, like a happy Golden Retriever.

They finally drove away from Regulus' block, heading towards the city center. The radio played some soft, lofi music that, added to the soft humming of the engine, started lulling Regulus to sleep. James must’ve noticed, because he handed his unlocked phone to him.

“Choose the next song; I’ll pick something after you,” the bronze-skinned man told him. Regulus, extremely eager, grabbed the phone and typed in the title he needed to hear right now. Thankfully, the chill music ended shortly after, and an 80s synth-pop melody came on.

“Somebody runnin’ through the field/Somebody shoulda stayed home/Somebody pickin’ up the body of somebody they were gettin’ to know,” Regulus hummed softly to Matty’s lyrics. James whipped his head at a light speed and looked at him with wide eyes. Regulus gave him a questioning look in response.

“First of all,” James began, “is it the one about the school shooting?” Regulus nodded, smirking. “Okay, that’s surprising. Second of all, you have quite a nice voice.” Now Regulus wasn’t smirking, just smiling sheepishly.

After ‘Looking for somebody (to love)’ ended, there was a disco bit, and Reg wanted to whine as soon as he recognised the song. The only thing that stopped him was that sparkle in James’ eyes.

And then the other man started singing.

“OOH, YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN JIVE, HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!” and Regulus couldn’t help but laugh hysterically. “What? Don’t you like my vocals?” James chuckled, knowing damn well he sounded like a cat in heat.

“Oh no, your vocals are just as lovely as your smile,” the younger man giggled.

They continued to take turns choosing songs, becoming more and more comfortable, and singing louder and louder.

They reached the restaurant as Olivia’s ‘all-american bitch’ was coming to an end.

“Wait here,” said James, getting out of the car and running around it, just to open Regulus’ door. The older man held out his hand in a dramatic gesture.

Reg rolled his eyes, taking the hand and getting out as well.

“Such a gentleman,” he commented sarcastically, yet still, he could feel the warmth spread inside of his chest at this small move.

They walked into the restaurant hand in hand, talking lightly about their favourite type of pasta. James gave the hostess his name, and the woman led them to their table, giving them two menus. Regulus scanned it in search of the cheapest meal, so he could afford it. The restaurant wasn’t really fancy, but it was still expensive.

“15 pounds for Carbonara? Is it made of gold?” He mumbled, but apparently not quietly enough, because James replied, ‘Don’t worry, it’s on me’. This caught Regulus off guard. “What do you mean? I asked you out; I should be the one paying.”

“Yeah, no,” was all James said, and the other man kept looking at him in confusion. “You’re a student; I work full time; it’s only fair if I pay,” he continued, looking up from his menu.

Regulus opened his mouth as if to argue, but quickly shut them back up. “Yeah, okay, you have a point.”

After that, they talked only about what they should order, settling on a lasagna for James, pumpkin ravioli for Reg, and a bottle of rosé.

“So,” the older man started. “What do you study?”

“Oh, um, painting. I’m in art school,” he mumbled in response, taking a sip of his wine. “I’m not gonna lie, I know it won’t get me a lot of money, but I love it. I can’t imagine doing anything else, even if it means I’ll have to eat pesto pasta for the rest of my life.” He couldn’t exactly read James’ face; it looked kind of blank.

“Can I see any of your work?” he asked finally, sounding actually interested. So, of course, Regulus reached for his phone and started scrolling through it in search of the pieces he was most proud of. When James saw the one with the white stag running through a blue forest, he pointed at it and exclaimed, “That. I want that one in my living room,” and Regulus laughed lightly at him. “What? I mean it. How much do you want for it?”

“A thousand pounds!” the younger man kept chuckling.

“Deal.”

“Wait, are you for real?” He looked at the man opposite him in bewilderment, and as the other nodded with a smile, he couldn’t help but smile himself.

It was how the rest of the evening went—they ate, talked, drank wine, and talked some more. They left, again hand in hand, discussing a playlist for the ride home.

They were just a few blocks away from Regulus’ building when he decided to turn the radio down a little.

“Thank you,” he said, turning to James. “I had a really good time.”

“Would you like to do it again sometime?” The other man asked, also turning.

“Yeah, sometime,” he answered softly, pink blooming on his cheeks. He received a small smile back.

When they finally reached his block, Regulus didn’t get out immediately. Instead, he fully turned to face James and looked him deep in the eyes. The older man didn’t break eye contact; he only smiled brightly.

Please, kiss me. Please, kiss me. Please, kiss me.

James reached in his direction, brushing a loose curl from Regulus’ face back behind his ear. Instead of withdrawing his hand, James put it on his cheek, caressing it lightly with his thumb.

They stayed like that for a few seconds (or hours) before James broke the silence.

“Can I walk you to your flat?” and Reg just nodded in response.

They got out of the car the same way they did before. Holding hands, they walked up the stairs to the third floor. As they reached his door, Regulus turned to James again. And once more, James’ hand found its way to Reg’s cheek. The moment was tense, almost tangible. Until-

“Can I kiss you?” The older man whispered, like a secret.

Yesyesyes

Regulus only managed to nod once before he felt soft lips on his. It wasn’t an obscene kiss with a lot of teeth and tongs; it was gentle and sweet, like the first kiss in middle school. It didn’t last long either—far too quick for Reg’s liking. James rewarded him with another sweet kiss, this time on the forehead, before he pulled away with the same bright spark in his eye that appeared during ‘Dancing Queen’.

“Good night, Regulus,” he said softly, taking a small step back.

“Good night, Jamie—I mean James,” the older man chuckled, shaking his head.

“I like it; you can call me Jamie. I’ll see you soon.” And with that promise, he turned around and walked down the stairs, throwing just one last look at Regulus before disappearing on the floor below.

[touteslespetiteschosess]

Love To Hate Me || Kylian Mbappé

GIF by kykygif

Chapter 3 : Unfortunate Circumstances

Chapter 2

Plot: Just when she thought things couldn't get worse, y/n's car breaks down and only Kylian is on hand to help.

Word Count: 1771

"Shit, shit, shit!" y/n yelled, slamming her palm into the steering wheel several times.

No matter how many times she twisted the key, her car's engine refused to start. It kept revving up, giving her a snippet of hope, before the rumbling noise died out again.

For a little while, she sat, her forehead against the wheel. It was dark outside, which since it was July, was saying something. After Kylian's backhanded Instagram story yesterday, she'd been dying at the office and had only managed to escape her ever-mounting workload at this late hour.

Now, thanks to her stupid, ten-year-old car, her entire night was ruined as well as her evening and her day. Besides the night security team, nobody else was at the facility. She'd have to order an Uber, which would take forever to come, given that the facility was miles from the city. Plus, paying for an Uber would bankrupt her, on top of the mechanic fees she was going to have to pay.

One final time, she placed her hand on the key, "Come on, baby, you can do this."

No, it couldn't.

For the second day in a row, she sat alone and let out a loud yell, a roar really, except this time she received a response. There was a loud knock on her window and she glanced up, a frown immediately descending on her features.

Right outside her window, Kylian Mbappé stood, a self-satisfied grin on his face. When she just glared at him, he raised his hand and waved condescendingly.

Mortified, she wound down her window, the fact that her window was manually rolled down only adding to her embarrassment. Inch by inch, it slowly squeaked down, while she twisted the handle, and she glanced back up at him, sucking on her teeth awkwardly.

"You okay in there?" he asked peering down at her.

"Peachy." she declared, "Can I help you?"

"Car trouble?"

"No. I just like sitting in here, don't worry."

Unimpressed, he frowned, "Do you need a lift?"

"No, thank you." she cleared her throat, "I'll just... be fine, thanks."

"Get out of the car; I'm giving you a lift. Which arrondissement do you live in?"

"I don't need a lift, thank you, Kylian."

He frowned, folding his arms over his chest, "Get out of the car."

Sinking down in her seat, she stared straight ahead, out the windshield, arms folded over her chest, "I'm perfectly happy here."

"You can't sit in your car all night to spite me. You need to get home."

"I'll be fine." she declared, getting back to work winding the window up, "Goodnight."

As soon as she finished the window, he swung her door open, "Come on." he declared, sternly.

"Do you always demand random women get into your car?" she asked, refusing to stare anywhere but out of her windshield.

Grabbing her arm and pulling her out himself, he murmured, "Seulement les jolies."

A scowl rested on her face but she followed him to his car, well aware that he was right, she really did need a lift home- not that she'd ever tell him that. His car was nice, a large, blacked-out Mercedes, the kind of car a soccer mom would drive, which she found quite amusing. Hesitantly, she climbed into the passenger seat, relaxing into the comfortable leather.

As he started the engine, she mumbled, "Thank you."

He glanced out the window at her beat-up little car, as he drove past it in the parking lot, "Why do you drive a toaster?" he asked, not looking over at her, "Enrique been skimping on your paycheque?"

"I'm yet to get my first paycheque. Besides, I just moved to Paris, do you know how expensive that is?"

As much as she had a point; his car made hers look like a horse and cart. Besides, her lump of metal on wheels probably should've been scrapped before she was even born. She settled into his heated seat, watching the GPS on the screen.

"What, did you waste all your money on pantsuits?" he asked.

"I'm wearing a skirt."

Why did she say that as though he hadn't noticed?

They both settled into awkward silence, as he pulled out of the facility. After a few minutes, he quietly said, "Where am I taking you?"

She leant forward, typing her address into the car's GPS. He watched her and commented, "You live in the 18th?" At first, he looked a little puzzled, maybe concerned, though she highly doubted that as she wasn't too sure he experienced emotions besides horny and amused. However, when his face morphed into a smirk (an amused smirk), she already knew what was coming, "Are you a-"

"No, I'm not a fucking prostitute." she finished for him.

He grinned widely as she scowled furiously, "I was joking, jeez. That's a rough neighbourhood."

"Unfortunately, not everyone in this city can afford to live ten metres from the Eiffel Tower in a twenty-bedroom penthouse."

"You're the head of PR at PSG, I don't think you're exactly on minimum wage."

"Well, until two weeks ago I was just some PR junior at Chelsea." she paused, "This was a big promotion but I know how temporary these can be. I'm living below my means because I know my means can change like the wind."

He puffed out air, "Do you never wanna treat yourself though?"

"Easier to treat yourself when you make 2 million euros a week."

"Only if you round up." he muttered, "What were you doing at the office that late anyway?"

Flatly, she asked, "Do you really want me to say it?"

"Dealing with me?"

"You know, I relaxed for all of five seconds last night. It was so blissful until I saw your Instagram."

He contemplated apologising for maybe five seconds before remembering that it was a she-devil trapped in a supermodel's body, who sat in his passenger seat. "You follow my Instagram?"

"Literally my job."

"I'm not going to follow you back."

"Didn't ask you to."

"But you want me to, secretly. I mean, how cool would your little brother think you are?"

"I don't have a little brother." she shook her head, "Every time I think you have any redeeming qualities or you seem the least bit likeable, you just wreck it all."

"I can be very likeable." he shrugged.

"That doesn't mean you're likeable or nice. Anyone can lie."

"But I am likeable and I am very nice." he declared.

"I see, so it's just me who gets this side of you?"

"Yep." he popped his 'p'. She didn't reply.

After a while, he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. She turned, casting a glare in his direction. Her eyes dragged down to his biceps, bulging out of his tight t-shirt and- No. She wasn't drooling over his muscles, no matter how big they were or how much she wanted to touch them. No! Sure, he was handsome, but he was a complete ass! He'd just admitted that!

She sighed, "I don't hate you."

"Well, hate is a very strong word." he conceded.

"Okay. But I don't hate you."

"Apology accepted."

"It wasn't an apology."

"Well, if it was I would accept it."

She shook her head, turning to look out of the window to hide the slight smile creeping onto her face, "I have nothing to apologise for."

"You ruined my reputation."

"You brought it on yourself, really. Besides, you'll recover."

He hesitated, "The old head of PR never cancelled me."

"The old head of PR got fired for a reason, and you're not cancelled."

"I feel pretty cancelled."

She rolled her eyes, as they approached the city, leaning her head on the cold window. They cruised through Paris, the street narrowing more and more the further into the urban landscape they grew.

As they neared Montmartre, she quietly said, "You can just drop me here if you want, you don't need to go out of your way."

Dryly, he laughed, "No." he softened his tone, "You shouldn't be alone at night here, it's not safe."

"It's fine. I'm a black belt in kung fu."

"What, really?"

"No. But I'm fine."

"What, have you got someone waiting to protect you at home?"

"Nope, but it's not the 18 hundreds, I don't need a chaperone."

"So there's no boyfriend in the picture or-"

"Are you seriously trying to flirt with me after lecturing me for cancelling you?"

"No, I just thought you would. You know, a good-looking woman like yourself, who knows the Kylian Mbappé. What guy wouldn't be interested?"

"Well, I don't officially know you. You don't follow me back on Instagram, after all."

Without even thinking about it, he laughed, leaning back into his seat He shrugged, "Hey, if you release a statement displaying PSG's adoration of me, maybe I'll consider liking a couple of your posts."

"Have you ever spoken to a woman before?" she asked.

"I'm not flirting." he huffed.

"So you're just asking me if I have a boyfriend because I'm good-looking and you're curious?"

"Yeah. I'm just being friendly and sociable." he hesitated before adding, "And nice and likeable. Your name is y/n... something, you don't have a brother, you don't have a boyfriend, you're not very good at kung fu, you're wearing a skirt, you make less than 2 million euros a week, you used to work at Chelsea, and you now live but don't work in the red light district."

She was a little taken aback but she didn't let it show on her face. After a moment or two, she declared, "I have a brother."

"You said you didn't?"

"I said I didn't have a little brother. He's two years older than me."

"And he's a big Kylian Mbappé fan?"

"Nah, he thinks you're-" she cut herself off, clearing her throat, "No, not really."

"He thinks I'm what?" he asked, glancing at her.

She hesitated before admitting, "A conceited prick who causes his sister week-long stomach aches."

"Oh."

"You asked," she mumbled.

"Maybe he has a point. But I can be very nice."

"You keep saying that. I'm still waiting on the evidence."

He pulled the car over, "You'll see."

She glanced out the window, up at her apartment block, then turned back to him, "Thank you for the lift, Kylian."

"You're welcome, y/n."

She opened the door and climbed out of the car, a satisfied grin on her face as her back was to him. Then, she headed inside, unaware that his eyes were fixed on her until her front door closed. He watched her leave the car and cross the street, just to make sure the freaks that hung around in her dodgy neighbourhood didn't try anything with her. Then, even once the door had closed, he watched for a couple more minutes, just to be sure.

Not because he cared about her of course. Because he didn't. He made that very clear in his mind. Just because he was a nice person. He'd do the same for anyone. Even y/n.

[mewhenimanangel]

spiderboy, miles morales x reader

part 1 ʚɞ part 2 ʚɞ part 3 ʚɞ part 4! ʚɞ part 5

pairing: earth 1610! miles morales x reader

chapter 4 synopsis: Rio invites you over for dinner after hearing how Miles stuck up for you at the party.

wc: 2.1k

warnings!: cursing, teens in love, kissing, suggestive themes, google translate spanish

translations: cariño - sweetie, venid a comeros los dos - come eat you two, mi pequeño caballero - my little gentleman, mantén esa puerta abierta chico - keep that door open, boy

It was Monday morning and you sat in the mirror getting ready for school. You did your usual school make up routine of mascara, concealer, blush, and signature lip combo. You let her braids hang down today and sprayed your perfume. "Mommy can you drive me to school today?" you asked your mother as you went to put food and water in Bobo's bowls. "Sure why?" she asked drinking her coffee. "Got that big doofy project and i'm not walking with all that" "Alright well hurry up cause I gotta go"

You grabbed the project from the closet and went to put it in the backseat of the car. You ran back upstairs to grab your bag and say bye to Bobo. You settled in the car putting your seatbelts on as your mom drove off. You got a little nervous knowing you'd have to see Miles face to face again. You had been texting non stop yesterday but now you'd have to see him again after their kiss.

You looked out the window to see Spider-man stopping some guy trying to rob a mini mart. "At least that boy's working hard to keep people safe" your mom said rubbernecking. "Yeah he's so cool" you said taking a picture of the scene. After a few minutes she pulled up in front of the school and you grabbed the project from the back.

Entering the building you made a B line to Mr. Johnson's class, not wanting to try and keep that in your locker. You walked in the classroom and saw Peter standing there with his partner talking to Mr. Johnson. "Yo n/n" he called out as you put the project on the back counter. "Hey Peter" you gave him a smile. "Listen I'm real sorry about that guy last night. Are you good?" he asked, sentimental for the first time like ever. "Yeah it's okay, I promise" you nervously laughed off. He came over and gave you a small hug, before you left to go to your locker.

Zoya and Kiona walked up to you "Hey bebe" she said resting her head against the locker. "Hey Z, hey Kiona" you greeted them. "Im already ready for the weekend. Feeling extra fucking tired today" you groaned slamming the locker shut. "Too real. I'm exhausted" Kiona agreed.

"Alright I'll see you guys later" you said turning down the opposite hallway. "Yo Y/n wait up!" you turned around, face dropping to see the guy who harassed you at the party. "How do you know my name?" you asked in a flat unamused tone. "That's not important, just wanted to say sorry" he brushed off. "Okay." you said beginning to walk away. He grabbed your arm before you could get too far.

"Wait! You're not gonna say anything back?" he asked seeming offended. "What else am I supposed to say to you? You said sorry I said okay." "Come on, no 'i forgive you'" you narrowed her eyes at him in disbelief. "I don't forgive you why would I forgive you??" you spat. "Because It wasn't that fucking serious" he rolled his eyes.

"Dude you gotta leave her the fuck alone" Miles said walking up beside you. He looked back and forth between you and Miles before walking off "Fuck this" "Thanks..again. Could've held my own there but" "I know you could've." he smiled. "Uh by the way, my mom wanted to know if you'd wanna come over for dinner" he asked.

When he came home last night his mom saw blood on his fist and asked him what happened. He said it was nothing until she pushed an answer out of him. He told her what happened and she ultimately decided to invite you over. After all her son has been at this girl's house and she barely even knows her.

You tried to contain your excitement and nervousness - his mom wanted to meet you. "U-uh yeah that sounds nice. When?" you asked hiding a smile. "Friday night. That okay with you?" he asked hoping you'd say yes. "Yeah I'll ask my mom but it should be fine" The bell rung and you realized you'd be late. "I'll see you later. Get ready to present" you said hurrying to your class.

In physics, you and Miles concluded your presentation on inertia by using toy cars and a ramp. "Nice job you two. You work well together." he said writing something on his clipboard. You looked at each other and smiled before sitting back down.

🩰

The week had gone by and your heart was racing. Your mom had given you permission to go to dinner at Miles' house so here you were in your mirror frantically trying to make a good impression. You went with a sort of calm 'classy' makeup look and let your braids stay down. You wore a black long sleeve knit sweater with a black pleated skirt and a pair of loafers with white socks. Your mom had bought a bouquet of flowers from the market and told you to give it to Mrs. Morales.

On the walk over to Miles' building, you were practically shaking. You walked up the stairs to his apartment and knocked on the door. The lady who opened it had curly hair braided over to one shoulder. You could see the resemblance to Miles so you assumed that was his mom. "Hi sweetie, you're Y/n I'm assuming" she smiled at you.

"Hi Mrs. Morales" you put your hand out to shake. "These are for you" you handed the woman the bouquet of roses. "Aww thank you, cariño. Jeff, baby, can you put these in some water" Just then a tall man came up behind her. "Hey, Y/n right?" to which you nodded her head. "Yeah Miles been chatting non stop about you. He's in his room by the way." "Dinner should be ready in about five minutes" Mrs. Morales told you.

You walked in and peeled your shoes off, before following Mr. Morales' direction of where his room was. His door was open so you looked in and saw him on his bed with headphones on, seemingly drawing something. You knocked to alert him of your presence. "Oh Y/n, I didn't hear you come in" he lit up "Yeah your mom let me in." "Hey I didn't know you draw" you stood there awkwardly looking around his room, eyes landing on his collectibles. "Hey I used to have this" you said holding it. "Yeah that's pretty rare..please don't open it" he said in a small voice. "I wouldn't, m'not stupid" you joked putting it back in its resting place.

You looked around again spotting a familiar mask sticking out of his drawer. "Oh you like spider-man too?" you asked, missing the way Miles' eyes almost popped out of his head. "Uh yeah...something like that" he sighed. "Miles dinner's ready, venid a comeros los dos" his mom called out. "You can leave your jacket and your bag in here" Miles said, leading the way.

You smiled in delight at the scent of the food, everything smelled and looked amazing. You took a seat next to Miles while his parents sat on the other side. "Help yourself honey, plenty to go around." his mom said as they all began sharing their food. You took a bite and nod her head. "Oh this is really good, Mrs, Morales." you said taking another bite.

"Thank you sweetie, and you can just call me Rio."You nodded your head and continued to eat. "So, how did you and Miles meet?" Mr Morales asked. "Oh on my first day i had bumped into him and he helped me find the principal's office" you told them. "Ahh mi pequeño caballero" Rio said, earning an awkward smile from Miles.

You spent the next thirty or so minutes chatting about their lives and getting to know each other. Miles just sat back and watched you as you talked to his parents. They finished up dinner putting their plates in the sink "I can help you wash up?" you offered. "Ah don't worry sweetie, go hang out with Miles. Mantén esa puerta abierta chico" she told Miles as they went into his room. You sat on his bed moving up against the wall. "Do you wanna watch a movie or something?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm good with anything"

You guys settled on 'Someone Great' on Netflix and got comfortable in his bed, stealing glances at each other. Miles inched his hand closer to yours that was resting on your thigh. He mustered up the courage to intertwine his fingers with yours and rubbed his thumb over your knuckles lightly. You looked at each other with small grins, studying each other's face. "You are really really pretty" he blurted out. "You are too" you said before pressing her lips to his in a heartfelt kiss, eyes falling shut.

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. The movie now disregarded, you found your way onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck and he let his hands rest on your cheeks before moving down to your waist. They then trailed down to your thighs lightly rubbing small circles over them.

You pressed your tongue against his lips, wordlessly asking permission. He smiled against your lips before granting you access. He brought his lips down to where your jaw and neck meet pressing a kiss there. His hands moved to your ass, lightly squeezing it. Suddenly they heard a creak of a floorboard just outside his room and you frantically got up off his lap and sat back next to him.

"You two okay?" it was his mom. "Yeah mami we're good." Miles answered, hiding his heavy breathing. When she walked away you both sighed and giggled, his hand finding its way back to your. He looked away, eyes landing on the spider-man mask from earlier that you forgot to put back properly. He sat in thought for a few minutes before speaking up again

"Y/n...Can I tell you something?" he said looking into your eyes. "Yeah what is it? You don't got a secret girlfriend or anything right" you joked. He chuckled shaking his head. "No no. But you have to promise nothing's gonna change. And promise you'll keep this between us.

Your eyebrows furrowed before nodding your head. "I'm...I'm Spider-man" he rushed the words out of his mouth. You giggled before looking at his face looking for signs of kid. "Wait are you serious?" He nodded his head and raised his arm in the direction of the mask. Suddenly a piece of silky web shot out of his wrist and pulled the mask to his hand. Your jaw had dropped in astonishment before looking at the mask and then back at him. "There's no way" you breathed out, amazed. "Does anyone else know? Do your parents know?" you asked, holding the mask and looking at it. He shook his head "Just you and Ganke."

He went on to tell you about how he first got his powers and how he replaced Peter Parker, how his powers worked. And then met a different Peter Parker from another universe and then four more spider people from other universes. And how he had to take down Kingpin to get them back home safely "So there's more? Do you visit them or something?" you asked him. His face twisted into a sad expression

"Nah, there's really no way to, you know." She sympathized with him "Well why would anything change? Miles you literally swing around the city and save people every day, that's so fucking cool and really really generous of you." you reached your hand out to hold his face. "I just can't believe you knew about my spider-man obsession and didn't say anything" you joked.

He laughed laughed before you moved closer to each other and resuming your kiss. Before it could get any further though, Miles pulled back. "Would you um let me take you out? On a real date? Like one without my parents?" he chuckled. "I would love that Miles" you hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

You'd plan your date for the following weekend at a really nice restaurant in downtown brooklyn. After a few minutes, your mom told you to start heading home, so Jeff gave you a ride, Miles tagging along. "Goodnight Y/n" Miles smiled at you. "Good night, Miles"

[paladin--strait]

Prompt 5: “listen to me, everything is going to be alright.” W/ Jamie Drysdale @ reader

sorry this is so short! i couldn't really think of what i wanted jamie to comfort reader for and i'm sorry for it taking me so long to get this out!! seriously, so sorry! y'all i literally cried writing this...

tw: bad car accident, surgery, mentions of death, readers best friend is implied to be a christian but it's not said, comfort

-

when i got the call from my best friend's boyfriend that she had been in a horrific car accident early this morning and that she was the only one still living, my heart sank.

he told me they had taken her into emergency surgery and that she's been in there for a while. but he knew she would want me to be there, even though i would be freaking out.

jamie helped me pack a few things, not knowing how long we would be there and then drove me to the hospital. my leg bounced up and down and my nails were bitten down to a quick. my breathing was heavy and ragged, waiting for the nurses, doctors, and her boyfriend, adam, to tell me that she's gonna be okay.

when we pulled up to the hospital, we got out of the car quickly. jamie grabbed the bags, and we made our way inside. when i tried to sign us in, writing down names, addresses, and phone numbers, jamie had to set down the bags and write for me.

my shaking hands could no longer function from the amount of anxiety i was under. i can't even imagine what adam and her family must be going through.

the walk to the waiting room was long and despite the blazing heat outside, surprisingly freezing. earlier before we left, i snatched up a blanket from the couch in the living room, not sure if it was going to be cold in the waiting room or not. and now i'm glad i brought it.

adam's head perks up when he sees jamie and i, walking over to us. "adam, how is she? is she going to be okay? how are you holding up? where's her family?" my mouth is running at a hundred miles per hour before jamie stops me.

"baby, slow down, let him answer all your questions and then maybe you'll feel better." jamie sets down the bags in a chair, walking over to me and holding my hand. "i'm sure he knows the answers to your questions." jamie says with a smile, trying to comfort me.

i look back at adam, waiting for him to speak. but i don't see the face jamie made at him, hoping that he has the answers or to just make something up for now for my sake. adam sees how worried i am, and begins to speak.

"she's still in surgery, but as far as i know, she's doing well and she's gonna be okay. her family is on their way, a couple hours out on the plane." he says, slowly, making sure i process all the information.

"and you? how are you, adam?" i place a hand on his elbow, looking up at him with a disheartened expression. i nods, telling me that he's okay, just hoping that she makes it out of the surgery okay.

i nod, taking in the information a little bit at a time. a few minutes later, we're in our seats in the waiting room. jamie is holding my hand and rubbing my palm with his thumb. he's talking to me about afternoon skate from yesterday. he always tells me about it when he comes home, but i was asleep last night.

i hear what he's saying, and i'm processing the information, but it's like it goes in one ear and out the other. "baby? did you hear what i said?" jamie says, poking his head out in front of mine, trying to search for attention from my distant eyes.

"yeah, uhm..." i say, snapping back into reality and rubbing my temple. "he took a really big fall and had to go to the medic..." i say, recalling the story about his teammate from my memory and turning to face him.

jamie has always cared about me on a deeper level than the usual boyfriend. he knows me inside and out. every flaw and every perfection. but, i've never seen him look at me like this before.

his face has contorted into a look of genuine concern and sadness. the waterline of his dark eyes is full with sparkling tears that have not yet fallen down his chubby cheeks. "baby...i'm sorry, about your friend. she's gonna be okay, i just know it." his words are soft like velvet, and smooth like caramel.

my eyes water, tears threatening to fall. "jamie...i'm so scared..." he pulls me into his arms, wrapping me in tight embrace. "what if..."

"sweetheart, no what ifs. only a when. when she's better, i'm sure that she'll be grateful to you for being here." he pulls away, cupping my wet face in his soft hands. "i'm sure of it. listen to me, everything is going to be alright." he pulls me into his arms once more while i cry, my anxious tears finally being let out.

-

hours have gone by and i'm now on the floor. i'm accompanied by jamie, who's behind me, leaning against the wall to prevent my back from hurting as much. his hands are resting on my hips while his face is nestled in my neck.

a nurse busts through the doors, and the three of us whip our head up, as we've been doing for every nurse that walks in. she looks at adam and calls my best friends name, we all stand quickly, walking to the nurse and waiting to listen to what she has to say.

"the surgery...was a success." her words calm us. i put a hand of my heart, feeling my steadying heartbeat. "but, unfortunately, she had a brain bleed, which we had not caught. it spread quickly throughout her brain. and...i'm so sorry, but..." the world around me buzzes while it becomes blurry.

i don't need to hear the rest of her words, only the cries of adam, while he falls to his knees on the white, cold, floor of the waiting room. tears leave my eyes slowly. it's unusual, you would think i would be sobbing, screaming my best friend's name while i fall backwards.

but instead of that, i find myself almost at peace with her passing. i can almost see her standing over adam, a hand on his shoulder while he cries. she's looking at me, no emotions on her pale face. i can tell that she was fighting. fighting for her life. but, the world had other plans for her.

she always loved the quote, "take her to the moon for me." and i can hear her saying it to me, speaking about her boyfriend, who kneels alone on the cool floor. i smile, tears barely falling as i kneel down to place an arm around adam.

"adam, she fought. she fought harder than her and we ever thought she could. her body was tired, and it needs its rest. i can tell you right now, she's always going to be with you. she wouldn't want us to be sad, she would want us to be happy that she's no longer in pain anymore, thats she's going to a place where she won't feel pain at all." my words soften his cries while he looks at me, eyes bloodshot and lip wobbling.

he thanks me, hugging me tighter than he ever had before. "thank you...thank you..." i nod and rub his back, sniffing.

i stand back up and look at jamie and he's looking at me, i can see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. i can tell he's unsure of whether he should cry or not, he barely knew her. but my jamie is a sweet boy, who cares about anyone and everyone that he's ever met or never met before.

i nod at him, signaling that he can let his tears go. he breaks down, sobs racking his body. i sniffle and hold him while we both cry in each others arms.

i can't help but imagine that she's there, waiting for us to leave so she can hand me her memories. the ones that i don't remember but she does, and the ones neither of us remember at all. she's waiting for me to be alone to remind me of all the good and bad times we've had. each of those moments creating a memory that may be forgotten, but truly lasts forever in our hearts.

[dearestaussiechannie]

☾ 4:52 AM ☽ — Bang Chan

word count: 2k paring: Chan x reader genre: Angst/Comfort warnings: gender not specified!reader, Non-Idol!Chan, Chan is referred to as Chris/Christopher the whole AU, established relationship, heavy grief, deals with loss, comfort, pet names towards reader, if I missed anything or if there are any typos please lmk! Authors note: I personally have been through some terrible loss as of lately and I don't really open up about how I feel about it to the people around me but I needed to get this out somehow. If you're going through anything like this AU portrays, my heart goes out to you and really keep the people that are there for you close. Much love ♡

It’s been four months as of yesterday, so why hasn't this ache left your chest yet? How do you cope with something like this? How do you get the people around you to understand what you're going through when you can't even understand it yourself? If not everyone, then to your sweet Chris? He’d been by your side when you had gotten the phone call, drove you there and even has kept you together as best as he could even with everything that's been going on in life but it seems no matter how much time passes, how much effort he puts in, you can’t get better.

You haven't been able to get out of bed without the thought of your friend crossing your mind. When you do have the energy to go out, the smallest things seem to trigger your pain. Even if you get to stay home all day, your dreams would punish you as well, forcing you to relive memories that you want nothing more than to bury until the pain has stopped. Currently, that's exactly what’s going on.

You’ve sat up out of a dead sleep to the feeling of nothing but pain, salty streaks of where tears had been falling for who knows how long covering your cheeks. You groan softly as you wipe your face, looking at the clock beside your bed reading “4:52 AM” in bold red numbers only making you groan again but this time a bit louder. When was the last time you'd gotten a good nights sleep? Dreading the thought of being awake, you slowly crawl out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping man beside you.

Once out of your shared room, you walk quietly to the kitchen, stopping a couple of times to look at the photos hanging on the walls to ease your racing heart and mind. Once you've got a warm cup of tea and a blanket from the living room couch, you shuffle to the back patio door, unlocking it and swiftly slipping outside. The air was a bit chilly as it was now late September, sending a shiver down your spine making you pull the blanket tighter around you as the glass mug filled with tea keeps your hands warm.

The sound of the wind was peaceful, but nothing could surpass the amount of peace the sound of waves softly rolling onto the shore of the beach that your house was so close to brought to your mind. Chris had picked this house for the two of you to move into together since it was about the same distance both ways from your families homes and of course, your sweet boy loves the ocean. Every summer that you've lived here, you'd always have to drag him inside to eat, rehydrate, reapply his sunscreen or to simply relax. This year however, he’d given you that time due to what had happened. The thoughts of him running around in the water by himself or with his friends or with you bring the faintest of smiles to your face as you take a sip from your cup.

While you were outside, the person you’d left inside suddenly takes notice that you're no longer sleeping beside him and it causes slight panic to run through his veins. He repeats the motions you'd made earlier, rubbing his eyes before reading the clock that now said “5:23 AM” in those same bold red numbers. He fluffs his hair a bit as he stands, slipping his nightshirt back on and pulls a sweater over that as he takes notice of the cool temperature in the house.

 He makes his way around, looking for you as carefully as he can so that he doesn't spook you when he does find you. Worry filling him more and more by the moment as he can’t seem to find you anywhere, finally looking out the back door with hope that you'll be there, a warm smile spreading across his face as he sees you, hair blowing in the breeze while you simply stare out into the horizon or into the stars. He leans against the door for a moment before he walks away from it, walking back towards the kitchen to get himself a cup of tea like you had but makes sure to get you another. 

On his way back to the door, he makes sure to turn the heat up since he knows that you’ll be cold when you come back inside. Carefully, he opens the door and walks over to you, putting the drinks onto the small table in front of your patio furniture. The sudden movements pull you from your thoughts, quickly looking up at him and pulling your blanket closer. “Sweetheart… How long have you been out here? Can’t be more than 55 out here and you're crying..” He says softly, slipping onto the wicker sectional beside you, gently tapping your tears away with his sweater sleeves. 

You were crying? When did you start crying and for how long? You rubbed your eyes a bit harshly as you looked away from him, sniffling slightly as you clear your throat and got a drink of your now cold tea. Chris doesn't miss a beat though, once you've pulled the mug from your lips, he takes it gently only to replace it with the fresh warm one. He also takes the moment to pull the blanket over himself as well, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer as he rubs your shoulder to give you some warmth.

“Christopher..” you start but he doesn’t let you finish. “Bad dream again?” He asks, looking at you, studying your face and taking notice of the redness in your cheeks as well as the tear stains. The only response you can give is a slight nod as your grip on the mug tightens, reliving your dream again making the tears rush to your eyes, bottom lip quivering as you start to shake. Chris doesn't miss these ques, taking your cup and putting it on the table before quickly pulling you closer, making you grab onto his sweater as you break down in his arms for what was probably the hundredth time in the past few months. He rubs your back gently as he listens to your soft sobs, noticing how hard you're shaking from the weather and the pain that you were feeling.

The two of you stay like this for what feels like hours as he keeps you close to his chest, his head resting against yours as he hums softly just for you to feel the vibrations, knowing how it helps you relax. His fingers thread through your hair, making sure not to pull as he also carefully rakes his nails across your scalp. Your eyelids begin to feel heavy as he does this, making everything in your mind somehow seem clearer. You take a deep breath as you wiggle closer to him, looking back out into the horizon, knowing this will be easier if you don’t look at him. It's always been easier to let him know your thoughts when you don't look at him.

“Chris, I miss them.. I miss them so much that it hurts. The thought of never getting to see them again, never hugging them again, never looking into their eyes, never seeing their smile ever again… it's haunting me. And there's nothing I can do to fill this empty spot that they've left. 15 years of memories, conversations, pictures, laughs are all just that now.. Memories that only I will ever remember… Why did they leave me here like this? Was there really nothing I could do to stop it? Nothing I could do to help them? Am I gonna feel like this forever? When will this pain end? I can’t take this anymore.. It's too much. I just wanna wake up from this sick nightmare and see their name pop up in my phone one more time.” You spill to him, sobbing between every word as you grab onto the blanket tighter, eyes burning from tears for the third time in such a short period of time, surely making you dehydrated. 

Hearing all of this absolutely breaks Chris’s heart, having to watch his whole world, crumble and break like this. He keeps quiet as he keeps rubbing your head, listening to you speak since this is the first time you've opened up to him about what's been going on in that mind of yours for the past four long months. The pain, fear and regret that you've felt. He knows that his words won't help so he just hopes that his presence will. That the love that he has for you will help you in this agonizing process of healing that you're having to go through. He just wants you to know that even if you feel mentally alone, he's right here. He's here for you emotionally, physically, mentally and in other ways that he can be.

He softly presses his warm lips to your cold forehead, still gently humming. “My sweet angel.. I’m sorry that you feel this way and I know that there's not much that I can do since time will have to heal this wound but I want you to know that I'm right here, you're not alone okay? Even if I can’t feel what you're feeling, I will be right here to pick you back up when you fall or break. I will pick you back up just as they would want you to be. Help you every step of the way. I love you and so did they and that's what I want you to remember okay? It was all more than just a memory, it was their story and they were so lucky to have you in it, sweetheart. They were so lucky to have you as their best friend for as long as they lived.”

You wipe your eyes again, no more tears passing your lashes as you look up at him, slowly moving your hand up to his cheek and rubbing the soft skin with your thumb. “When you miss them, always remember to look for them in the sunsets.. In the stars.. Or..” He looks away from you then back down with a gentle smile, moving your face back towards the beach as he whispers. “In the warm, morning sunrises.. They'll always be right there.. Watching over you and cheering you on.” He whispers to you as he again presses his lips to your forehead, this time making contact with your temple as he takes your cold hands into his warm ones, rubbing over your knuckles with his thumbs.

You let out a broken chuckle that mixes with a sob, shaky breaths no longer turning into clouds as the sun starts to warm the air again. You look back to your sweet Chris, giving a sleepy smile before the weight of your head falls into the nape of his neck, indirectly telling him you're too tired to get back up and walk into the bedroom to get more sleep. Luckily, he takes notice, wrapping the blanket tighter around you, carrying you into your shared home and to the bed that's been waiting for you both to come back. This is exactly where you needed to be in a time like this. In the arms of someone who loves you no matter how broken you are. Home.

Once in the bed, Chris covers you both up as the sun peeks through the curtains like warm kisses before you look at the clock. It now reads “6:48 AM” and you sigh, flipping it so you couldn't see the numbers anymore, rolling over to face Chris, kissing him gently before closing your eyes fully. “I love you so much, Christopher Bang.” “And I love you, Y/n L/n.” He repeats, rubbing your back again as you begin to drift off into sleep. Sleeping better than you had in so long, now dreaming of the good things again, no more nightmares of grief… Just dreams of love.

"Goodbye for now but not forever, we’ll see each other in my dreams again. Don’t forget to come visit my dreams full of love for you soon."

©️ dearestaussiechannie, all rights reserved.

Taglist: (to be added, comment or message me♡)

@bangchansbae

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

From Hell to Home to Back Again

Summary: At the talent show, Chrissy Cunningham is so hungry that she nearly collapses. When she's found by Hopper, her parents ended up losing custody of her. She ends up being placed in the care of the Hendersons, and she finally finds the family she so desperately needed. She also ends up falling in love. What other changes are made in this alternate universe?

@emen-98 @1lostsoul0fishbowl @vulpixsworld

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chrissy was getting dressed for school, excited to see Eddie again. After last night, she really couldn't stop smiling. She also couldn't stop humming Bob Dylan and Muddy Waters as she twirled around the room. She pulled on her favorite blue jumper and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Eddie had let it slip yesterday that he liked seeing her in blue, that it brought out her eyes. She was just putting up the finishing touches when she heard Dustin talking into the phone from the living room.

". . .she spent all evening with her new boyfriend, Eddie. . ."

Chrissy hurried into the living room and ripped the phone from his hand.

"Who are you talking to?" Chrissy asked.

"Argyle," Dustin said.

"By the way, Eddie is not my boyfriend," Chrissy said.

"Hmm, is he not a boy and a friend?" Dustin asked.

"Don't be so technical, smartass," Chrissy asked and put the phone to her ear. "Hey, Argy."

"Hey, Lady Henderson, I figured I would make the rounds since Jonathan called me this morning," Argy said.

"He called you?" Chrissy asked.

"Oh, we talked for a while," Argyle said. "He said he got up early so he could talk to me."

"Aww, that's cute," Chrissy said.

"What's this that I hear from the Little Dude about a boy and a friend?" Argyle asked.

"Oh, Dustin's just being a little shithead, Eddie's just a friend," Chrissy said.

"Sure, he is, Chrissy Cat," Argyle said. "What are you wearing?"

"Oh, just this blue jumper that I thought Eddie would like," Chrissy said.

"Ha!" Argyle said.

"Damn it! Okay. So, I have a little crush," Chrissy sighed. "You know, you don't see me pressing you about your crush when you might not be aware - "

"Oh, I'm fully aware of my crush on Jonathan," Argyle said.

"Oh? Okay, so I'm allowed to tease you about it?" Chrissy asked.

"Go ahead!" Argyle said teasingly.

"Well, I feel like I'm on the spot now," Chrissy laughed.

"Chrissy! Steve is here!" Claudia called.

"Oh, well, I guess I have to go," Chrissy said.

"Talk to you later, Lady Henderson!" Argyle exclaimed.

Chrissy pulled on her jacket and grabbed her backpack before leading Dustin out towards the door. They quickly said their goodbyes to Claudia and Mews before leaving the house. Chrissy didn't waste any time pushing Dustin into the back seat of the car.

"Jesus, we're not going to get there any faster if you injure me," Dustin scowled. "Eager to suck face with your boyfriend?"

"He is NOT my boyfriend!" Chrissy blushed.

"So, Chrissy, your boyfriend couldn't give you a ride this morning?" Steve asked with a teasing grin.

"Shut up, Harrington!" Chrissy exclaimed and messed up his hair.

"Hey! Watch the hair, Henderson!" Steve exclaimed.

"Keep your boyfriend in line, Nance," Chrissy glared.

"Couldn't even if I wanted to," Nance said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Barf," Robin said as Steve drove off with a smile on his face. "So, seriously, nothing happened?"

"Well, I offered to teach him to cook, we ate, talked, then we listened to music and danced. Of course, we were interrupted by his uncle," Chrissy replied.

"Hmm, first the bird and now the uncle. I think the universe might be telling you not to go for it, Chrissy," Robin said.

"Either that or to hurry up and make a move," Steve said.

"That's true," Robin said. "Are you going to make a move because I think it's about time that women take charge, you know?"

"I second that," Nancy said. "And so does Steve. He loves being the little spoon."

"And I'm not ashamed of it," Steve grinned.

As soon as Chrissy got out of the car, a blurry figure slid into her, slipping on some ice. She barely had time to catch him, but she managed. Chrissy wrapped her arms around Eddie's waist as he steadied himself, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Henderson, you're not busy tonight, are you?" Eddie asked breathlessly.

"No, can't say that I am," Chrissy said. "Are you wanting to see me again?"

"I definitely do, but I also want you to see me," Eddie said.

"What?" She asked.

"My band Corroded Coffin is playing at the Hideout tonight, you know, if you wanted to come," Eddie said, his eyes eager and hopeful.

"Do you mean the Hide Away?" Steve asked.

"No, that's a different bar," Eddie replied.

"We have two bars that sound similar?" Steve asked in confusion.

"Um, yeah, they're actually rival bars. The Hide Away changed their name out of spite," Eddie said. "Anyway, you in or you out, Henderson?"

"Yeah, I'm sure she wants - " Steve started to say with a grin before Nancy elbowed him. "Ow!"

"Yes, I would love to come," Chrissy said with a grin.

Eddie grinned, surged forward, and kissed her cheek. Suddenly, the car door opened, pushing Chrissy further into Eddie's arms.

"You're blocking the door, Chrissy!" Dustin exclaimed.

"Sorry," Chrissy said and moved out of the way with Eddie.

"Explain to me why you just kissed my sister," Dustin said as he climbed out of the car. "Are you the guy she won't stop gushing about?"

"I'm Eddie," he introduced with narrow eyes.

"Oh, so, you are the guy!" Dustin exclaimed.

"I suppose I am," Eddie grinned while Chrissy glared at her brother. "You must be Dustin, the brother she won't shut up about and the future member of Hellfire."

"Hellfire?" Dustin asked.

"You didn't tell him about Hellfire?" Eddie asked with a gasp and pressed a hand to his chest.

"I was going to surprise him," Chrissy said.

"What's Hellfire?" Dustin asked.

"Hellfire is a D&D club at the high school that Eddie here runs," Chrissy said.

"What?! Why didn't you ever tell me? Oh my God, do you think if I study hard enough that I can get early admission into high school? Nancy, did you know about this?" Dustin asked.

"Yeah, I did," Nancy said in amusement.

"And you never told Mike?" Dustin asked.

"Nope," Nancy said.

"She also has a brother who plays?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," Chrissy giggled at the look of joy on his face.

"More future members," Eddie said rubbing his hands together.

"Are you going to be there by the time I get to high school?" Dustin asked.

"Well, I'm a senior now, so hopefully not," Eddie replied. "But I'm going to make damn sure that the club is still around when you get there."

"Awesome," Dustin said. "That's a cool vest. Did you put those patches on yourself?"

"I did," Eddie said and ruffled his hair.

"Your boyfriend's cool, Chrissy!" Dustin exclaimed as he ran off towards the high school.

"Did you hear that? He thinks I'm cool," Eddie replied with a grin.

"He also called you Chrissy's boyfriend," Steve pointed out.

"Don't you need to go and do something with your hair?" Eddie asked. "Like, I don't know, make love to it."

"At least I care about my hair, Munson. What do you use? Dirt?" Steve scoffed.

"Well, some of us can't afford to use some of those fancy hair care products that I'm sure take up most of that huge house of yours," Eddie snapped.

"You don't need to be rich to take care of your hair," Steve said. "I could help you if you want."

"Yeah, I'll ask for help from you when hell freezes over, King Steve," Eddie scoffed.

Steve laughed, a hardness around his eyes, and raised his hands in surrender while Nancy pulled him away, rolling her eyes. Robin followed after them, giving Eddie a curious look before she left. Chrissy turned on Eddie with a curious look.

"What was that about?" She asked.

"I don't like the guy, I'm sorry you have to hang out with him," Eddie said.

"I don't have to hang out with him. I chose to. I knew him long before Nancy did. He's a really great guy," Chrissy said.

"He was a bit of an asshole," Eddie replied.

"You did go after his hair first, and he also tried to be nice by offering to help. He loves hair," Chrissy said. "He hates being called King Steve, just like you hate being called Junior."

"Fine, fine!" Eddie exclaimed, raising his hands and rolling his eyes. "He's a good guy, fine. Are you still coming tonight?"

"Yeah, I said I would," Chrissy huffed. "I promised my mom I would have dinner with her and Dusty tonight."

"Yeah, we don't go on until later," Eddie said with a sigh.

"Fine, I'll see you there," Chrissy said.

"Fine."

"Fine."

Ronnie suddenly bounded over, opening her mouth to greet Chrissy. She closed her mouth when she sensed the tension between them.

"Is everything okay?" Ronnie asked. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Nothing, you interrupted nothing," Chrissy said. "I'm going inside to get away from this cold."

The last thing she heard as she walked away was Ronnie turning on Eddie.

"What did you do?" Ronnie hissed.

"Nothing!"

"I swear if you screw this up. . . !"

Later that day, Chrissy was sitting in the library during her free period, sketching in her journal. Was she pouting? Definitely. They hadn't been friends for very long, but they already got into a little tiff. He had to know that Steve was important to her, and if Eddie could never get along with him, then how could she possibly date him? The thought of that left a pit in her stomach. She was so upset by all of it that she had to draw in her sketch book, and she was drawing furiously.

"Wow, I really made you angry," Eddie's voice came over her shoulder.

Chrissy jumped and turned around to glare at him. In the sketchbook, Eddie was standing underneath an anvil.

"Well, I figured it can go either way. I can save you or let it fall on your head," Chrissy said.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted your friend," Eddie sighed.

"I didn't appreciate the way you humored me either. He really is a good guy," Chrissy said.

"No, that was shitty of me too," Eddie said.

"Have you ever even talked with him before?" Chrissy asked softly.

"No," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I kind of assumed that he was like Hagan and Perkins."

"He's nothing like those assholes," Chrissy sighed. "You should at least try to know him before judging him. Not all jocks are assholes."

"Yeah, see, I know that because you're a jock," Eddie blushed. "It's just hard."

"The other jocks or Higgins don't necessarily make it easy," Chrissy sighed.

"I'm going to try and work on it, though," Eddie said.

Chrissy sighed and leaned her forehead against his. He sighed and closed his eyes. He leaned back and kissed her scarred eyebrow, cupping her face.

"None of that in my library!" The librarian shrieked.

"Goddamnit!" Eddie cursed and Chrissy giggled.

The bell rang, signaling that they needed to head to class. Walking out of the library, Eddie's other friends tracked him down.

"So, this is the girl Ronnie told us about. I thought for sure you scared her away," a curly haired boy said.

"Not yet," Eddie laughed. "Chrissy, this Gareth, Stan, and Jeff."

"Nice to meet you all," Chrissy said and grinned at Eddie. "And Eddie isn't anything to be scared of. He's a teddy bear."

"Hah! TEDDY!" Gareth exclaimed.

"Alright, shut it, asshole," Eddie laughed. "Hopefully, tonight, she's going to become our number one fan."

"Really? Are you coming tonight?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah, I can't wait to see you guys play," Chrissy said.

"Don't get too excited. The Hideout is, well, not a great place, and we only play to like five drunks," Eddie said.

"Five drunks is generous," Stan said rolling his eyes.

"I'm sure you guys are going to do great as long as you guys have fun," Chrissy said.

"Oh, yeah, we always do," Jeff said. "I mean, we're no Metallica, but I think we're good."

"Hey, everyone started somewhere," Chrissy said. "Do all of you play?"

"Not me. I've only started playing D&D this year. I'm a freshman," Gareth said. "But Jeff, Ronnie, and Stan are in the band. Shit, I'm going to be late to class. It was nice to meet you."

Gareth flashed her his braces and scowled as he moved through the crowd.

"We should probably do the same," Eddie said.

Everyone dispersed and started walking to their class. Chrissy looked at Eddie in amusement as he walked beside her, whistling a jaunty tune. Eddie stopped and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Isn't your class in the other direction?" Chrissy asked.

"Oh, shit, yeah," Eddie said and started walking the other way before stopping. "Did you memorize my schedule, Henderson?"

"No!"

"Lies!"

As Chrissy was sitting down to eat lunch with her friends, she found that Eddie had plopped down beside her, across from Steve and Nancy.

"Harrington," Eddie greeted.

"Munson," Steve said stiffly.

"I would like to formally apologize to you and invite you guys to come to the Hideout to hear us play," Eddie said, scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah, that would be good," Steve said. "Looking forward to it. Apology officially accepted. I should also apologize for the dirt comment."

"Apology accepted, though sometimes I do put dirt in my hair," Eddie said.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"The ground loves me," Eddie said.

"Weird way to say you're a klutz," Steve laughed.

"Okay, now that the awkward moment is out of the way. . .Are we also invited, or is it couples only?" Robin asked.

"You're invited, too, Wheeler, and Byers," Eddie said.

"Um, what time? I'm expecting a phone call this afternoon," Jonathan said, his cheeks pink.

"About 7 or 8 should be good," Eddie replied.

"Oh, the call should be over by then, so yeah, I'll be there," Jonathan said.

Chrissy bit her lip and smiled, knowing that Jonathan was more than likely talking about Argyle. For the rest of the day, it was all she could think about. She flounced out of the doors, about to walk towards when she got approached by Jason, who was clearly waiting for her. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Chrissy," Jason said. "You look pretty today."

"Thanks," Chrissy said, and Jason paused as if he was expecting something. "If you're hoping I'll tell you that you're pretty too, you're going to be waiting a long time."

"Look, Chrissy, I haven't talked to you in a while, I'm hoping that I gave you enough space to think about us," Jason said.

"Jason, there is no us. Get it through your thick skull. I don't want to be with you, I will never want to be with you," Chrissy said.

"Come on, Chrissy, you haven't given me a chance," Jason said. "Not even one date."

"The fact that you won't take no for an answer proves to me that you don't even deserve a date," Chrissy snapped. "No, Jason!"

His face changed so quickly that it startled her. He moved closer to her, glaring at her.

"I'm trying to save you from ruining your already tainted reputation from the stink of the freak," Jason said.

"I don't need saving by anyone, let alone you. Eddie is a better man than you will ever be. I don't give a shit about my reputation, I like how it is, and I like my friends," Chrissy said. "So back the fuck off."

Chrissy turned to walk away when Jason grabbed her arm, turning her back to him.

"Listen here, you little - FUCK!" Jason yelped.

Chrissy had grabbed his crotch with her free hand and squeezed.

"Let go of me, and I'll let go of you," Chrissy said sweetly. "You need to understand that you're not the hero in my story. . .you're the villain, but you can always turn it around. What kind of man do you want to be?"

Jason let go of her arm, and Chrissy let him go, smiling as he sank to the ground. She walked away from him, a jaunt in her step.

"BITCH!" Jason yelled.

"Bitch, witch, whatever works for you!" Chrissy said as she gave him the finger without looking at him.

Steve and Nancy had been rushing from the car when she met them halfway.

"Jesus. Are you okay?" Steve asked.

"What the hell was that about?" Nancy asked.

"Jason wouldn't take no for an answer, and he grabbed my arm, so I squeezed his dick," Chrissy said with a shrug.

"Jesus, well, do we need to stop by the police station?" Steve asked.

"No. . .I mean, I don't think Hopper can do anything about it. Jason's dad is a lawyer. I got him back, so hopefully, he won't be a problem for me anymore," Chrissy said.

"Well, if he does bother you again or lay hands on you, then we definitely should report him," Nancy said.

"Or I can get him with the bat," Steve muttered.

Chrissy cleared her throat when she saw Dustin walking quickly towards her from the middle school. The conversation was over. She really didn't want to have to explain to her little brother how she grabbed a guy's dick at school. She was a little surprised at herself for doing it. She didn't think she was capable of doing something like that, and she did it without thinking. She didn't feel guilty about it all, and she hoped Jason never forced her hand like that again. She was silent the entire ride back home. She had decided not to ride back with Eddie this time due to the fact that she was eating with her family tonight. Dinner time was a much happier affair as Dustin went on and on about Eddie. It was adorable the way he talked about him. Unfortunately, she had to let him down when she told him about going to see him play, and he pouted about it for the rest of dinner.

"Be careful!" Claudia said as she left the house. "Have fun, too!"

"You better tell me everything when you get back!" Dustin hollered.

"Will do!" Chrissy said.

Chrissy slid into the backseat with Robin and Jonathan. It was smart to bring just one car.

"Yeah, mom and Will practically pushed me out the door when Steve showed up," Jonathan muttered in greeting. "I think they're way too excited that I have friends now."

"Aw, they're happy for you," Chrissy said, and then she pointed out his camera. "You going to take some shots?"

"Hopefully, I didn't think to ask Eddie," Jonathan said. "I told Argyle about it, and he said he wished he could be here."

"I'm sure Eddie will not mind at all," Chrissy said.

They finally found the Hideout between an abandoned steel work factory and a cornfield. It was a small bar with bricked up windows with what looked like a handmade stage in the back. The floors had never been cleaned, and everything was sticky, but it was. . .quaint. When they walked in, Eddie was arguing with an older maroon haired woman. His eyes lit up when he spotted them.

"See, Bev, there they are!" Eddie exclaimed. "Customers who are begging to see me play! Byers even brought a camera!"

"Oh, yeah, I'm so eager. I'm practically on my knees to see him play," Steve smirked.

"Ignore him," Eddie grinned.

"Fine! Fine! Go on, Junior," Bev huffed.

Eddie jumped in excitement and ran over to them, hugging Chrissy tightly. She giggled as he shook her from side to side. He pulled back, kissed her eyebrow, and then poked her nose.

"Thanks for coming, witch," Eddie said.

"Couldn't wait to see my favorite freak play," Chrissy said, smiling.

Eddie pressed a hard kiss to her forehead before scampering off. He was practically skipping.

"I think we were just blurry shapes to him," Steve said, and Nancy giggled.

"He definitely only had eyes for you," Nancy agreed.

"Shut up," Chrissy said, but she was smiling.

They moved closer to the stage and grabbed a couple of tables, watching as they set up. Pretty soon, Eddie was front and center, standing in front of the mic with his guitar in his hands. He looked so angelic, standing up there even under such shitty lighting. For a moment, she couldn't hear anything. . .all she could see was Eddie. . .until she heard him calling her name.

"Chrissy. . .," Eddie breathed into the mic as he stared at her. "This is for you."

Chrissy gasped happily, her heart pounding in her chest as euphoria filled her as Corroded Coffin began to play. Chrissy clasped her hands under her chin, pressing them against her chest as the feeling of affection overwhelmed her. He kept eye contact with her the entire time he played that song. He was so amazingly beautiful and so. . .so. . .fuck it, the man was sexy. It was completely and utterly mesmerizing. She didn't even notice Jonathan taking a picture of the moment until he showed her a few days later. When she framed it later, she realized she was completely head over heels for this man. But now, in this moment, she wasn't really thinking about it. Only Eddie and how amazing he was. . .how amazing the others were. They were all so passionate, playing with their hearts, not really caring if the others liked it as well. Their joy carried out through their music, dancing over the group who had come to see them play. Chrissy watched her friends, and she could tell they were enjoying the show as well. Chrissy noticed that Robin's eyes never left Ronnie's. Finally, Bev cut the music, pulling the plug on their sound.

"Alright, that's enough! I have a damn headache!" Bev complained.

Eddie jumped down from the stage, meeting Chrissy hallway. He hugged her tightly and scooped her up off the ground, twirling her around. Chrissy giggled at Eddie as he set her down.

"You were amazing," Chrissy breathed.

"Yeah?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," she said and pulled herself out of his arms. "You all were."

She moved to hug the others, much to their surprised. She was pretty sure Jeff hugged her longer to annoy Eddie.

"Yeah, man, you guys were great," Steve said. "Not my type of music, but I definitely enjoyed the way you guys played."

"Thanks, man," Eddie grinned as he shook Steve’s hand.

Chrissy watched in amusement as Robin moved nervously over to Ronnie, her face shinning.

"Hey, Robin Wheeler, can I help you with anything?" She asked.

"That's not my name, I'm Ronnie Ecker," she said with a teasing grin.

"Oh! No! I meant that I'm Robin Wheeler, twin sister to Nancy. Fraternal twins, obviously," Robin said, laughing.

"Right," Ronnie said. "You can definitely help me put these babies away. Can you handle that?"

"Definitely!" Robin exclaimed.

Of course, Eddie had completely missed that interaction as Chrissy helped him but she didn't miss a thing.

"What?" Eddie asked.

"Nothing," Chrissy snorted.

Afterward, the group sat at the bar, discussing their music and their different tastes in music. Nerds, metalheads, a band geek, and a jock have come together to enjoy each other's company. Chrissy couldn't help but enjoy the feeling that came over her as she watched Eddie work behind the bar, tending to their newfound friends and the one drunk. She wondered if their lunch table was going to get bigger.

Chapter Seven

[tomatoluvr69]

Post-Helene diary 10/16/2024. (As a general warning, lots of talk about death, including children)

Life (in the city at least) is slowly inching back to normal. I’m still out of work. Schools will be closed at least a month, all told. And it’s getting cold. An outlying town a stone’s throw north of the city, where I have a couple friends, got snow last night; one of them slept on our couch. Still no running water, signal is still fucked, and the power goes on and off. But having power is such a luxury, so you can boil the water you bring home and microwave and refrigerate food. Still struggling with morale, but getting more and more able to get out of bed & take care of myself, and forcing myself to be around people when I can, which really helps. Hoping to host a movie night maybe this weekend, we’re all super fried and it’d be nice to gather in a super low-stakes way.

Had a burial yesterday. The man was shrouded, and lowering him into his grave meant touching his body through thin fibers. He died on the third of October, a couple days after the storm, so not a drowning death, but I’m not sure what the cause was. The family was able to be present for this one, and the ceremony moved me, I’m so profoundly honored to have had the opportunity to do this through no merit of my own. It’s good work, to which I feel well-suited. But it’s strange to shovel dirt onto the decedent while his wife and children look on. They were all new to ecoburial, the man hadn’t chosen it the way many in the sanctuary have; it’s what’s called an at-need plot (and folks, WNC is at need right now, lol). You could tell that the informality and wooded surrounds of the setting unsettled them at first, but the way things are done there is far more ancient and meaningful than at a conventional lawn cemetery, with its mandatory cement vaults, embalming fluids, and non-biodegradable casket materials, and we encouraged people come up to lay soil, aerate the first layer with sticks to aid in microbial access, fill in more soil if they wished and lay pine straw over the finished mound for erosion control and seed germination. I believe strongly in ecoburial’s capacity for closure, that seeing the shrouded body be covered, and being involved in digging and closing the grave, or pallbearing/lowering the decedent, can be a powerful way to process death. People used to/still do die at home. People wash their loved ones’ bodies, braid their hair, burn incense over them, sew them into shrouds, lay them out unembalmed and unrefrigerated in their own homes; in 21st century America we are cold strangers to death— everything happens behind steel doors. (Even hearses are outmoded— odds are you’ve driven down the highway next to a Toyota Sienna or somesuch that’s been retrofitted to transport bodies to and from funeral homes, hospitals, mortuaries, crematories, and burial grounds, and you had no idea.) Ecoburial removes this gulf, and I believe it’s especially crucial in the aftermath of the wide-scale death and destruction our region has seen. But the cemetery is tiny, and can only take a sliver of the storm’s dead— only a couple plots remain unsold. The admin was looking at purchasing more land, but the woman at the helm of that drowned with her entire family in a flash flood.

A girl we know works/worked at a mortuary that was along the river— drove by there the other day on my way home, the obliteration is eerie, they were gutting it for demo. Driving near any river right now still has the surreal, gloatingly detached feeling of a soundless dream, especially along roads you took all the time before the flood. The building had been nondescript before, just a medium warehouse looking structure with vinyl siding. But the bodies stored inside went unrefrigerated and were exposed to floodwaters, an aspect of the disaster few people without contacts or experience in deathcare would consider. Imagine the times you’ve been grieving a family member— now imagine phones are off, the mortuary’s been obliterated, and you’re stranded in your building for a week with no information or answers.

Found out about the death of a little boy, first or second grade, who attended one of the schools whose students I work with. He wasn’t my student, just a classmate of some of mine, but I still find myself really broken up over it. He was around the same age as [best friend]’s coworker’s boys, 7 and 9, who drowned in [outlying county], and I know they’re not mine to grieve— but working with so many kids in that exact age range in our community i’m so acutely aware of the caliber of loss. It hits me in these overpowering waves. Nobody in Appalachia knew to fear a hurricane, you know? Life here has shifted tremendously.

After the burial, we ate some cold lunches and a random packet of imported Japanese grape candies, joking grimly and catching up on an out-of-the-way bench near an Iranian woman’s grave and a couple adelgid-ridden hemlocks, where we wouldn’t be heard by the lingering members of the funeral party. Then, donned chaps and ear pro/eye pro to buck a bunch of trees downed by the storm around the land. I like chainsawing, but I lost a ton of physical strength after my ribcage fracture this summer, and I definitely feel it when doing manual labor. The difference is palpable. But bucking is easy, it requires no brainpower, and my friends just told me which trees to cut, while they worried about tension and felling. But both burials and saw work is quite physical and my stamina is beyond shot— definitely felt it today. And I got fucking DOMS in my back!!!!???? lmao. Hung low most of the morning because my volunteer childcare thing got canceled— it stormed, of all fucking things.

It’s getting cold. It’ll dip below freezing tomorrow night, and my window’s still out; I may sleep on the couch in the living room, which sucks, but I’m gripped by severe fear for all the people in the region who have nowhere to go; when I drove with my friend through his neighborhood in Swannanoa we saw families whose prefab/mobile homes got swept down the river, gone forever and destroyed, camped out in tents along the riverbank. Tens of thousands are still lacking power and gas to heat their homes— we are in the south, but we are up in the highest mountains in the entire eastern US. People will be unable to clean themselves because washcloth baths will be untenable in the cold. People will freeze to death in their homes, tents, and cars. It just feels like wave after wave of horror keeps hitting the region. Even though life begins to be bearable for those of us in the city— groceries, internet! Showers at the YMCA!— you cannot enjoy it amid the destruction. It’s a really weird feeling to be one of the lucky ones. Just sheer dumb luck. There’s no wrapping your head around it, when old classmates lost family and watched as their homes were swept away, their farm animals drowned. Survivor’s guilt is fucking insane. It’s really insane.

Though I’m worried about what two months’ rent and utilities is gonna be like without any work, my morale is slowly ratcheting upwards. Three of my friends are leaving the city forever in the upcoming weeks, which is a tremendous blow. One of my favorite haunts, the indie cinema in the river arts district, was obliterated beyond repair— I nearly cried seeing those photos. I’ll be stuck watching Joker and Beetlejuice sequels at the fucking Cinemark forever now I guess. And the Blue Ridge Parkway, where I went to run and camp and drive and picnic, is closed indefinitely. But I believe that many of my other frequent haunts will come back, unless, like many of the businesses dependent on a tourist economy in the height of leaf season, they crumble financially. But the tiny little cinema is a huge loss. We fucking adored that place. And you could tell it was the product of its owners’ passion and love, and filled with character, quirk, and charm. Truly no idea how different life here will be over the next months and years. Definitely altered— but how much? I can’t imagine living in Marshall, or having a studio in the RAD, or working in Swannanoa. Again, I’m so lucky. But it’s gonna be a really hard couple of months and years here.

The long and short of it is that life is getting easier for some of us, myself included, and though the trauma is at times genuinely incapacitating— I feel as though I am crawling towards feeling better. Being able to shower and launder my clothing in my own home will be huge, but still weeks away by the sound of things. I’m really wary of the coming months but cautiously optimistic— I am starting to feel alive again, and enjoy things, and think about things that aren’t potable water access, and the drowned. But it will take time to recover. To give some context, to Americans at least— think of what would need to happen for your public schools to shutter for an entire month, county wide (I don’t know much at this point about the surrounding counties’ schools, some will start earlier, some are still fucked indefinitely). All that being said, though, it is beginning to get easier. And I have people to lean on, and the capacity to hold up others when they lean on me. My home is intact and I have shelves full of food, and a stovetop to cook it on. And I watched a movie a few days ago! We’re crawling out of it bitches.

Ok, I have to go haul flush water now, lmao, time to drive my reeking whip around to a bunch of ramshackle old baptist churches in the area to see which ones still have big unmanned water totes in their parking lots. How does it feel to help a member of the LGBT community!!!!!!