#he doesnt know how to cope well so he turns to the only thing he knows he can ace | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zvdvdlvr · 9 months ago

Text

Why’d You Have to Wait?

🔥 - synopsis. You get kidnapped on a case. Aaron’s coping mechanism? Self isolation. But when you’re recovering, Aaron wonders if staying away from you is the right thing to do. Jack convinces him anyway. Are things too far gone for Aaron to fix?

🔥 - warnings. Non descriptive torture. Scars. Burns. Very vaguely described mental issues. Slow burn. Friends ro enemies to lovers? Sad hotch. Angst. No happy ending.

🔥 - author’s note. Doing a part two. Hopefully this doesnt flop :)

Aaron had dreams about it now. They were so vivid- lifelike and real. Every time he had them he woke up in a cold sweat, heaving in the bathroom as tears dripped slowly down his face.

He hadn’t gone to the hospital to see you. In fact, Aaron hadn’t seen you since the day you almost died. He rode in the ambulance, but tore himself away from the hospital as he watched the doctors wheel you into the operating room. Your blood had stained his hands, face, and arms for days. Every time the white spots danced in his vision after emptying the contents of his stomach, he swears he can still see the glossy red liquid drip off his fingers.

You were well like. Not only by the team but by Strauss. She had given the team the time off to help y/n recover: sit in her room after another surgery, cheer for her during physical therapy.

Jack loved having time to see his dad after school, but he knew something was wrong after consistently hearing him pad to the kitchen during the middle of the night.

Tonight was no different.

Jack sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. He blinked owlishly around the room and stood up. The little Hotchner slowly followed the light to the kitchen and saw his daddy lean over the sink. “Daddy?”

Aaron turned his head and tried to smile at Jack. Aaron knew he probably looked a mess. “Hey buddy. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Before Aaron could set down set down his water cup, Jack crawled up the seat and watched his dad over the counter. “What’s wrong, daddy?”

“I just can’t sleep,” Aaron shrugged, facing Jack with his arms crossed. “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

Jack looked at Aaron as if he had grown two heads. “You get up in the night a lot, daddy. And your eyes are red. You cough a lot too.“

Hotch wanted to laugh. Of course Jack knew something was wrong- he always knew. “Yeah. You’re right, kiddo.”

“You yell when you sleep sometimes too. What happened to y/n, daddy? She doesn’t come see me anymore.”

Aaron shuddered as he inhaled. Smart boy. “She got really hurt, buddy. It’s bad. I guess I just… get scared thinking about her getting hurt,” Aaron admits, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest.

Jack nodded. “Can we go see her?”

“I- I don’t think we should. She’s still getting better.”

Jack furrowd his eyebrows and tilted his head. “But I miss her.”

“I do t- I bet she misses you, too, Jack, but I don’t know how she’s doing. She might still-“

Jack sighed. “But daddy, she’d be so happy to see me!”

Aaron sighed. As much as he selfishly wanted to see you, he couldn’t. He’d do something he wasn’t proud of- embarrass himself, ruin his reputation of being a mentally and emotionally tough boss, ruin your friendship… No. Aaron couldn’t go by himself, but Jack could go with him. Why hadn’t Aaron thought of it before?

“Okay,” Aaron relented. A smile tugged at his lips when Jack’s face lit up. He scrambled off his chair and collided into Aaron’s legs and squeezed.

“Can I sleep with you tonight, daddy? Aunt Jess always stays with me when I have a nightmare.”

Aaron bent down and picked Jack up and nodded. “Yeah, buddy. Let me brush my teeth again.”

Jack wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck and squeezed, as big of a hug his little body could give.

— 🔥

The days were all a blur for you. Now that you were all fucked up, nothing felt right anymore. Second defree burns crawled up the calf of your left leg. Small cuts littered your entire body, scarring and twisting your skin. The worst part was the long, twisting scar that started on your cheek about two inches away from your ear and pulled down to your collarbone.

The unsub, Barney MacMillian, was a sadist. A stupid fucking sadist. He thought he was punishing you for hunting him when he kidnapped and tortured you.

You know the team tried- they really really did try- to cheer you up, to get you back. But the fact that you now considered yourself a monster and how you started to believe the things MacMillian had whispered in your ear as he tore you apart, layer by layer.

Derek genuinely thought your scar was badass, but learned not to bring it up. Penelope just kept rehashing everything- something you had eventually told her to atop doing. Prentiss was cautious, testing the waters. But she eventually got back into a rhythm with you as your best friend. JJ didn’t do anything wrong, she was just really nice- too nice? Spencer was… himself. And you couldn’t thank him enough for just staying him, recitinf facts about burns and scars, knives and blood loss. It was morbid, sure, but you were always close with him and the way his brain worked.

Rossi was the one that kept you together through it all, though. He had conversations with you, long past visiting hours. He talked with you about anything and everything and somehow knew exactly what you needed to hear or talk about. But he kept making excuses for Aaron.

Aaron. The romantic feelings you kept trying to flush away turned into hurt every time Rossi’s eyes flickered away from yours when you asked about him. But you knew now. He didn’t care. He never would. That’s why he didn’t show. It’s the only plausible explanation of why he wouldn’t show up, shoot you a text, something.

So you turned your hurt into anger and stopped asking, ignoring the way your heart would drop to your stomach and how the acid in your stomach churned eveey time you heard his name.

You already had your resignation documenta stored neatly in a magazine in the second table in the nightstand to your right. You were done with it all.

— 🔥

That’s why you felt tears prick in your eyes when you saw Jack Hotchner leap into the room. His little eyes scoured your face, eyes dragging down the healing skin on your face. You heard Aaron’s footfalls stop short at the door. Your jaw clenched and you stared at Jack, waiting for him to start crying and ask to leave.

But he didn’t. He just smiled and leapt into your arms, completely unaware of the physical pain in your leg and body. He just wrapped his arms and legs around you.

You sat still, eyes looking at Rossi, who smiled at you. You hadn’t yet looked at Aaron and didn’t even want to. Carefully you wrapped your arms around Jack’s back, ignoring how fast the tears left your eyes.

Jack pulled back and looked at you with a smile that faded the second he saw your tears. In all of your time (almost 10 years) at the BAU, Jack had only seen you cry once. And that was during a movie.

“I thought coming to see you what make you happy,” he sad, voice sad. “Why are you crying?”

You smiled at him, sniffling pitifully. “I’m not sad, little J. I am really happy to see you,” you said. You hoped Aaron would hear the sharp undertone in your voice. Judging by Rossi’s huff of a laugh, he did.

“Oh! Well, I brought you stuff. I know you like the Black Widow because she’s really cool, so I brought you a coloring book,” Jack explained as he brandished his backpack full of stuff. You listensed intently, only looking up when Rossi got your attention and nodded to the door to signal him leaving.

Jack kept talking and you were overjoyed to listen. He was a pleasent little man, making your time more enjoyable. He opened up the coloring book he bought and started coloring after giving you a Beanie Baby he had that you mentioned you liked. He also got you a necklace- that Aaron no doubt spent a pretty penny for- that had your birthstone set in it. Jack watched you carefully as you opened it, and he put it on with his chubby fingers. You didn’t tell him that you would have to take it off soon after he left so it didn’t kill you when you slept. Hospital policy or something.

Soon after you finished your own coloring page featuring the Black Widow and Tony Stark making a hero landing, Jack turned on the T.V. and fell asleep.

“Hey,” Aaron said finally.

You nodded. “Hi boss.”

Aaron bit his lip. You stared forward, hand threading through Jack’s hair. Aaron felt his heart clenching in his chest. He didn’t know how you were gonna react when he came by, but he didn’t expect this- this silent treatment. He didn’t really blame you though. He wanted more than anything to make it up to you, to get you smiling again, but he knew the distance was probably better. For him at least.

“Y/n-“ Aaron started.”

You cut him off with. “Jack’s asleep, sir. It would be best not to wake him.”

Sir. You only called him sir if you were mad. Aaron swallowed. He knew he fucked up. Would he ever be able to fix his mistake, bring the old you back? He pondered the questions as he leaned back in his chair and watched the television show Jack chose before he fell asleep.

— 🔥

“Y/n is getting sent home today,” David’s voice crackled through the phone. “We wanted to take her out to dinner, something nice. Are you coming?”

Aaron sat at the kitchen table, checking over Jack’s homework. Jack himself was sitting a couple feet away on the couch. “Probably not. I have Jack.”

Rossi scoffed on the other line. “She loves Jack and he loves her. Bring him with you.”

“I don’t know,” Aaron sighed. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes. “Dave, she hates me.”

Silence. Rossi exhaled and shook his head. “She doesn’t hate you, but you’re giving her a lot of reasons to. Clean yourself up and meet us all at the address Garcia’ll send you. 6:00. Be there, Aaron. If not for her…” he trailed off, considering his next words carefully. “Then for Jack.”

— 🔥

David convinced you all to wait until ordering.

But when 6:45 rolled around and Aaron didn’t show, you just clenched your jaw and ordered a neat whiskey.

611 notes · View notes

pespillo · 17 days ago

Note

your drain folk beauty standards post is super interesting!! I'd love to know more about the impact they've had on the bizzyboys we see in game. Like how is capochin considered fem for a drain guy? Hector doesn't match the masc ideal seeing as he's the tallest of the drain folk we see in game. Is it a point of insecurity or does he like to be more fem leaning (i personally hc hector as transfem postcanon too so i have thoughts hehehe). Where do the other bizzyboys fall into these standards? What variations are there within the bizzygroups?

Your art is wonderful and I love seeing your hcs!! dont feel pressured to answer everything i just got excited hehe

Have a wonderful weekend!!

when i talk abt drain beauty standards we ALSO have to take in mind that there is a big theme of exceptionalism and obvious influence of the outer earth and grove pushing Inspekta´s views towards his own individualism, so the bizzyboys have shifted from drain-standards towards Inspekta´s standards, which is basically whatever neurotic view of the world he will hold at that moment that often reflects his own insecurities, and that goes often directly to Capo , Hector had been already been implied to been treated poorly before godhood and worked really hard for respect, he was tall for a drain guy, he stood out like a thumb and perceived sorta motherly, but in a way that made others walk all over him or treat him like a breathing coat hanger, so as retaliation he bulked up and emphasized reliability and command to be perceived as more masculine, surrounding himself with people and studying n studying to appear more interesting and refined, Capo was his first true devotee and at first he was reaffirmed constantly of his masculinity, he followed through and they both made good emphasis of the strength of numbers and charisma, of making strong impressions of people and looking like they always know what they are doing,

but after godhood , Inspekta basically held onto a TON of baggage and internalized a lot of things and got overwhelmed by the amount of information the world had to offer, the way they were all being perceived in the grove was just a big change, Inspekta turned into a very superficial person, and pushed people into roles they probably didnt know they were cornered into, Inspekta has a lot of gender dysphoria and because he doesnt cope well with it, he cant allow himself to Be part of femininity because that means going back to being demeaned and looked over, he basically starts living thru Capo by praising any waifish traits he shows which Capo interprets more romantically than it actually is, because Inspekta is being very self centered here, which goes to show that dysphoria can not only hurt yourself but others too.

besides that tangent, the rest of the bizzyboys do have some variation but with the process of selection of the team Inspekta has made sure they Are up to the standard, with exception for Grujaja, who i think would be a bit above average height for a drain guy, but he is constantly hunching over and wearing the cone thats bigger than him makes him look smaller, as for Vib, Vibiano has been "breaking the code" for years, he wears heels that are almost as tall as Capo´s , lotta jewerly, contouring and posturing in ways to make himself look taller and willowy and elegant, and nobody questions this because Capo allows it, because Vib makes Capo look more masculine if they are side by side (and Vib actively asserts Capo´s masculinity without conditions) . its all a very dumb balance of performance here.

#great god grove #asks #samsa´s art stuff

50 notes · View notes

axelsagewrites · 10 months ago

Note

Hey, how are you? Do you accept request for Otto Hightower?

I wanted something for "marrying Otto Hightower and being the younger sister of the late Queen Aemma Targaryen." Aemma's sister came to court her lost, however, things go wrong and Aemma ends up passing away and her baby also dies hours later. Otto Hightower, widower, hand of the King, with no heir (here, Otto and his first wife had no children, so Alicent was not born yet) and with the stain of his wife's terrible reputation hanging over him, Otto needs a second wife. What happens when he finds himself attracted to the late queen's sister?

Come on, it's supposed to be something light, where Otto doesn't have all that sick ambition to see his blood burning on the throne and having true friendship and loyalty towards Viserys and, of course, having sincere devotion and love for his dear wife. I hope this request reaches you well ❤️ (If I made you uncomfortable, let me know, i'm sorry)

Otto Hightower*My Honour

Pairing: otto x targ!f!reader

Word count: 1628

Warnings: mentions Aemma and her sons death, grief, praying to cope, angst

A/n: alicent doesnt exist in this one

Often times you wondered if staying in kings landing was worth it. it was here you lost your sister and nephew not to mention all the previous children she had to mourn and never hold. You had come a week prior to her labour and eventual death to help but after you felt useless. Perhaps if Rhanerya had not begged you to stay you would have left these haunted halls. After all she was only eight when her mother died.

It was hard to even walk through the halls most days. Every stone, every path, every flower a reminder of her. the sting only grew deeper when Baelon died. A son, an heir, all for what?

You could see the grief etched into Viserys’ face but that did little to comfort you. It was hard to even look at the man you previously considered like a brother. most days the only one you spoke to was Rhanerya.

If people said hello in the halls, you bowed your head and smiled and walked on. When they approached with sympathies during dinners you did the same. Very few words escaped your lips especially since each greeting was met with a sorry look from the lords and ladies who didn’t even truly know your sister enough to mourn her. You weren’t the only one to have suffered a loss recently, however.

On your near daily trips to the sept to pray for your sister, nephew, and niece, you would see Otto Hightower deep in thought. He’d come to Kings Landing with his wife a few years ago to serve Viserys however she had died only weeks earlier.

You’d met her only once and while she was kind enough, she was not the typical wife of a lord. She tended to walk a fine line of what was acceptable at court and if the rumours and what daemon himself had told you see it was rare that her husband was the one to share her bed.

The marriage had been arranged, like they all are. You understood his position. You had tried to love your first husband though you did not cry when he fell out the moon door during a joust. Still, you mourned like Otto did. Now even more so.

This morning was like all others. You ate with Rhanerya, helped ready her for her lessons, then walked to the sept. however, as you walked something different happened. “Good morning my lady,” Otto greeted as he caught up behind you.

You jumped a little having not heard his soft footsteps. “My lord, sorry I did not see you,”

“It is quite alright. The fault is mine,” he gave a tight-lipped smile you’d seen a few times from him. “Good day my lady,”

Otto went to increase his pace, assuming your silence was a want for absence, but you found yourself no longer able to be quiet, “My lord,” you called. Otto paused, turning to listen, “Would you care to walk to the sept with me this morning?”

A small smile quirked on his lips, “It would be a joy my lady,”

Each morning from then he would join you on your way to and from the sept. at first no words were spoken. Then only a few. Never about death though. It was refreshing as selfish as it sounded. A time when you didn’t have to think of those you lost. Soon it was hard to end the conversation.

“You must ride on the back of her one time. You’ll get to see all the fun,” you laughed after recounting a story of your dragon’s adventures.

Otto laughed but you could see a little green in his skin, “No I think my feet shall remain firmly on the ground, but your offer is very kind my lady,”

As you arrived the sept a small smile found its way on your lips, “You don’t have to call me that. I have a name you know?”

“Really?” he teased, “I must’ve forgotten it,” you rolled your eyes, feigning shock and ignorance as you told him your name like it was a scandal, “What a beautiful name. much better than a name like Otto,”

“You’re so right. Only a cruel person would name their son Otto,” you teased before quickly hiding your smiles when the septas walked out.

As you were both leaving the sept Otto was inspired by your previous affection to return the same, “It may not be as exciting as a dragon but perhaps you would like to join me one night for dinner?”

You stayed silent for a moment as you walked and Otto could feel the sweat gathering on his forehead, “Would this be one of your dinners with the king and other lords or a private affair?”

“Which ever you preferred,” he said, swallowing hard.

A small smile on your lips put him at ease, “I’m free tonight,”

Soon you were laughing in the halls again. Stopping to talk to people again. Having conversations again. Viserys took joy in this, glad to finally see you back to your previous state. Though he could not help being sceptical of Otto.

He trusted him with his life, but he did not know if he could trust him with yours, “Have you seen much of my wife’s sister of late?” he asked one night after all the other lords had left the high council meeting.

Otto swallowed the lump in his throat, “No more than usual. Why my king?”

“No reason. Her condition seems much improved as of late,” he mused, watching his friend’s reaction carefully.

“Grief is a wild beast,” Otto said, revealing as little as he could.

Viserys however needed to know more, “My wife made me swear when we married. ‘if we become family then mine becomes yours and yours becomes mine’. Ever since I’ve seen her as a sister figure of sorts.”

“You’re very kind to her your grace,” Otto shifted in his chair.

Viserys sat back in his, “I’ve had a few lords ask me about her hand since her fathers and husbands passing you know?” Otto went stiff, “all arrogant, obnoxious lords, Aemma didn’t even like when she was alive,”

“She was always a good judge of character,”

“I like to think I am as well,” Otto went to speak but Viserys didn’t stop talking, “I imagine the offers will stop when the rumours spread further,”

“What rumours- “

“Please Otto I am not blind!” Viserys almost barked making Otto go still, “if your attentions are anything but pure, if you think you can use her as something to breed-“ Viserys tirade went on though if anyone else was in the room you’d see his guilt was wrapped in the speech, “then you have lost your mind. She is not something for me to sell, I wont do it, I wont let history repeat. So Otto I swear to whatever gods may exist don’t think I will not replace you,”

The room went eerily silent and was only broken after Otto painfully cleared his throat, “I would like an heir yes however,” he spoke up quickly when he saw Viserys face harden, “However it is not my main desire. I wish to marry, marry someone I care deeply for, someone who I picked and who picked me in return, and to have a child, a child as beautiful as your own daughter who I could bond with like you have. I wish for a family Viserys but only with her. and if she does not want me then I shall leave her be. I don’t wish to cause more harm,”

The hardness washed off the kings face, “If she does not want you? Have you not been courting her?”

“Not officially your grace. The topic it hasn’t came up,”

“What do you even do?”

“We talk,”

“Talk?”

“Yes. Talk,” he said, shuffling forward to gossip like they did when they were younger, “about anything and everything. About the flowers in the gardens and historical figures. Or the moon the night before or the sunrise that morning. We talk and talk and the conversation never dries up. She is charming and witty and more brilliant than any man- any person I’ve ever met,”

Viserys sat silently for a few moments, “You love her?” his words made Otto pause.

“I do. Even if she does not love me,”

“Then I think its about time you find out if she does,”

The walk around the castle gardens was only made better by Otto’s company. He listened as you told him about Rhanerya’s improvement in needle work and what you’d seen on your recent flights. However, his mind seemed to be wondering with each word. “Are you alright my lord?”

Your words snapped him from his thoughts and his mouth had never felt dryer, “May I ask you a question my lady?”

“You just did,” you teased, something he’d usually roll his eyes at, “but I will allow another,”

You expected a joust back but instead he took a deep breath making you pause in your tracks, “I was wondering if you’d attend the king’s birthday celebration with me?”

“I already told you I was going?” you said, head tilted to the side in confusion.

Otto took another deep breath. There was no going back, “I’m not asking if you are going. I’m asking if when we both attend, we attend together. As a couple if you will,” he stayed silent waiting for your response.

The blank look on your face made him panic but a small smirk slowly crept on your face, “Are you asking to court me lord Otto Hightower?”

“I suppose I am,” the smile returned to his lips.

“Then it would be my honour,”

Taglist Sign Up Here

General taglist: @strvngestark @headinfantasy @meg-ro @427120lxld @obx-josie18 @ravenmoore14 @tessakate @justtilly @jjkjbhj @clairacassidy @valeskafics @perla434 @selenestar78 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @urfavnoirette @randomstory56 @qardasngan @https-luvvia @im-the-fucking-lunar-prince @bryandechartisasmolbean @glorywielder101 @tiinkerbell @the-holy-pigeon @andreaxxx44

HotD taglist: @qardasngan @randomstory56 @sashadevil766 @idkwhatsgoingonwithme @janii-722 @hypocritic-trash-baby @cookielovesbook-akie @theninibear @thirteenth-fangirl

#otto hightower #otto hightower imagine #otto hightower x reader #otto hightower fic #hotd #hotd imagine #hotd x reader #hotd fic #house of the dragon #house of the dragon x reader #house of the dragon imagine

286 notes · View notes

bdsmrist · 2 years ago

Text

gonna get a bit personal here, but as an actor it hurts me to see how ppl misinterpret a character as layered and nuanced as kim

now u might be wondering: girl wtf does being an actor have to do w lieutenant kitsuragi. well, i believe it to be the case that actors are storytellers. its our job to write in our characters studies what isnt in the script, to fill in the gaps, and portray that to the best of our abilities.

while in school, my professor’s always emphasized that as an actor, 100% of the time its more interesting when your characters motivations are rooted in love, rather than resentment. and i feel like too often i see ppl understand kim’s motivations be fueled by a desire to reject, protect himself, and detach himself from a world he resents.

now; thats not to say that isn’t entirely true. after all it is what the canon tells us explicitly: that he gave up on moralism, religion, etc, because he again and again was disappointed by the reality of elysium. therefore, that must mean that from there on out kim was a lost soul, that when coming to contact with harry’s spark, it lit his ambitions once more

and yes, to an extent, thats true, but its not the whole truth. to imply otherwise is very derivative. one of the things that makes kim such a compelling character is how he never stopped loving the world around him, *before* meeting harry. and even tho he limits how much he allows himself to indulge in it, it still bleeds through the cracks. hence, when he meets harry, he pours his devotion into the case, and in turn, into harry, without even knowing the guy

would a detached character have the patience and compassion he has for harry on day one? absolutely not. the man is borderline coddling to harry despite it all. and you can hear it in the performance!

jullian champenois’ voice is characterized by its mellow, soothing quality. hes gentle about it! and the actor made that choice for a reason! kim is a gentle person! he stands his ground, he sets boundaries, keeps u in course, and is nothing of a pushover. but regardless, his temperament is calm and reassuring. thats his function as a literary device! to contrast harry’s self-hatred and self-loathing with compassion and understanding!

think about it: would a character thats insistent on being a cold wall, sit on the swing-sets with harry for the pure purpose of just being there so harry doesnt have to confront that alone? if kim only wanted to keep people at an arms length, would he insist you two to be the ones to break the news to working class woman about her husband when ur at her doorstep? he said it himself; the precinct couldve handled it fine.

if kims actions were rooted in resentment towards an unfair world, would he be an instrument of justice for the rcm in the first place? kim, who verbatim despises the cops who become cops so they can use policing as an ego outlet?

kim kitsuragi cares. he cares very deeply, and i believe that the walls around him are a result of kim attempting to keep himself *in*, rather than keep others *out*. kim keeps HIMSELF on a short leash, because he knows that otherwise he’d go all in, just like harry.

harry and kim are at the opposite ends of the same spectrum of people that are too passionate for a world that does not reward such earnestness. therefore, harry copes with addiction, and kim copes with restrictions. regardless. its all comes back to love.

#y he dicho CASO CERRADO #pls stop implying harry taught kim to care oh so help me #kim kitsuragi #disco elysium #harry du bois #harrykim #kimharry #hdb

901 notes · View notes

billkaulitzwife · 9 months ago

Text

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

#the outsiders 1983 #darry curtis #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #dallas winston #steve randle #two bit mathews #the outsiders headcanons #greasers #adara curtis #the outsiders incorrect quotes #the outsiders x reader

69 notes · View notes

majorasnightmare · 23 days ago

Text

being so fr i genuinely think that the dead three are an excellent case study in Divine Madness

like im not well versed in forgotten realms lore by ANY means but i DO enjoy veering into headcanon worldbuilding territory sooo. take everything with a grain of salt and only keep what u feel like skdjskdjsnfj

we all know bhaal is like. kind of COMICALLY self destructive and stupid, shooting his pawns in the foot at the drop of a hat seemingly just for the sake of pointless cruelty, and is obsessed with murder even to the point of sacrificing his other domain of ritualized death for the purpose of killing the world (orin should NOT be as penalized as she is for how strictly she does in fact adhere to bhaal's doctrine). and while this can be explained as differences in writers portrayal and sympathy for the character of bhaal (larian in particular seems to take a dim view of bhaal, and of gods in general), spinning it into a consistent character is a fun writing challenge

and personally i think its just a long form example of how mortal minds are not innately prepared for the leap of being an autonomous individual capable of making personal decisions and having complicated nuanced feelings about a variety of ideologies to becoming a Conceptual Embodiment responsible for a fundamental force present in the world at large. like you stop BEING a person, you stop being able to change your opinions on certain things because... well, you ARE those things. can the wind stop feeling like the wind?

so bhaal achieves divinity and inherits aspects of jergal and it utterly rends his mind asunder. his erratic behavior is a result of his human mind trying to cope with divine power, and so its no surprise that he turns to that same coping method many angry dissatisfied violent people turn to: familial abuse. bhaal has a direct line of connection through blood ties to his spawn, and its a line he can draw on whenever he pleases to influence their behavior or communicate with them. every progeny hears him as clear as a cleric, regardless of their will or feelings towards him, as long as that blood connection remains. its why hes so obsessed with producing spawn despite being a god of murder: on a personal level, he embodies those cycles of abuse and how they keep perpetuating themselves, not as a divine aspect but as a personal choice as a result of his own actions and the consequences bhaal experiences. on a broader scale, you CANT redeem bhaal, not just because he is an evil aligned god of murder, but because redemption would require bhaal to meaningfully confront that his ambition to pursue divinity has ruined his life, and that temporary relief like exerting power over his family cant actually solve the core problem that he isnt actually capable of handling the power and responsibility he sought out. so he would prefer to keep driving his spawn to slaughter and self destruction and ruining his own schemes because that maintains the illusion of bhaal being an influential powerful deity in control of his emotions. the success of his schemes actually doesnt matter nearly as much as that illusion.

it doesnt matter that the dark urge was on the brink of achieving his self described final goal of killing the world, because they acted outside of his control through allying with a baneite and enacted a scheme they came up with themselves. it doesnt matter that bhaal explicitly encouraged orin to betray them, bhaals goals are falling short of success so the dark urge needs to get it together and finish the scheme they started in his name. this is an absolute nonsense train of logic, because your punished twice over, first for making a plan that benefits bhaal, and then AGAIN for BEING PUNISHED THE FIRST TIME! if the end goal was actually achieving the death of the world via the absolute, this is a totally fucking stupid way of going about it, but it makes sense as an extension of an abusers inability to cope with life stressors outside of inflicting abuse.

we need to remember that there is no inherent series of personality traits that defines an abuser, only actions. there is no circumstances that make an abuser an abuser, and there is nothing a victim does to justify or deserve abuse. an abuser acts like they do because abuse benefits and rewards them, and they are unwilling to actually surrender those benefits to treat their victims with the dignity they deserve, because thats difficult and hard and not as immediately rewarding. and generally, the most common reward for abuse is stress relief. abusing a victim feels good for the abuser, it relieves anger, it passes blame away from them onto a subject they can act on (instead of taking personal responsibility or acknowledging depersonalized systemic forces), it relieves stress, its an exercise of power and control in a world where those things are not easily accessible. understanding bhaal as an abuser provides the thread of consistency that makes a series of incoherent actions and reasonings reflect a mindset a person could conceivably have, and the stress he is trying to relieve has an easy source in the form of the very divinity bhaal sought after so greedily

to a lesser extent, this aspect of ruining divinity is, i feel, present in all three of them, its just that bhaals manifestation of it is exceptionally explosive and violent. bane seems completely and utterly consumed by his aspect of tyranny, to the extent that little remains of his personality that isnt a cunning, ambitious power seeking manipulator who accrues and hoards power at all costs, even consuming his son in his entirety for his own resurrection. that myrkul inherited so much of jergals portfolio and has increasingly mimicked jergals personality is no coincidence. the three adventurers who challenged jergal all those centuries ago have been annhilated utterly, the people they once were swallowed entirely within their divine aspects. its ruined all of them, to varying degrees, but its bhaals obsession with maintaining himself at any cost, his awareness of his own precarious position and tenuous grip on his own divinity that has him acting out so aggressively

#bg3 #bg3 bhaal #bg3 headcanons #bhaal #forgotten realms #idk how to tag this but WHATEVERRRR

20 notes · View notes

the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago

Note

A bit of a specific idea, but I had a platonic idea for all of the characters in the Amazing Digital Circus—

Maybe all of them with a Wally Darling-like Reader? An example of such being Reader also speaking in a monotone voice that is both a little unsettling yet friendly at the same time, always making eye contact and never looking away, being able to eat things by blinking, being a lot more aware than they seem, greeting people individually anytime they enter a room, etc etc.

TADC cast x wally darling type! Reader !

Still stuck on mobile so this post may be a little short and whacky <\3 + I'll be relying on this ask for wallys personality since I cant open other tabs without risking deleting my progress on this <\3 + I've never touched welcome home 😭😭

CAINE:

Honestly, I don't know anything about welcome home as stated above, but I think Caine would have a lot of the same habits; namely the eye contact and I can also see him doing the blink eating...

The only difference is that hes way high energy

I think he would think that you're just a silly lil fella, an interesting little thang, wants to study you under a microscope..

Thinks its endearing how you greet everyone personally.. loves when you do it to him since it makes him feel special n appreciated

POMNI:

Overall pomni is going to need a lot of time to get used to the weirdness of the circus, and this applies to getting over the unnerving feeling she gets around you

Probably becomes speechless and does the face when you blink-eat

You know...

Just stares at where the food item once was... how did you do that...? What are you going to consume next? Why are you looking her in the eye like that?

..oh you're just telling her you enjoyed the snack you've brought

JAX:

As per usual I'm writing these all out of order, and I happen to be writing jax after I did zooble

I think jax wouldnt just think you're unsettling, I think he would think you're creepy

Now does he think you're a threat? Personally I don't think he would go as far as to classify you as such

Watches in horror as you blink and consume his sour gummy candies

Okay now this is war

You guys sometimes have unspoken staring contests, you usually tend to win them

Actually now that he thinks about it you dont seem to blink outside of eating...

RAGATHA:

"Oh, you're just a quirky lil fella!" Pretty much

Always thanks you when you greet her, she makes it a habit to greet you back when you enter a room

Tends to give you your favorite snacks, I think, but I think this can pass as a general hc rather than being specific to this post !

Little put off by the eye contact but does not turn away or show any discomfort; is able to push through it pretty well !

KINGER:

Okay so I know I mentioned some other characters being creeped out by the eye contact but I think kinger would be the most put off, asides gangle

But also I can totally see kinger having a staring problem; be it because hes lost in his thought and happens to be staring or some other thing

Accidental staring contests between you two/j

Feels like a real king when you personally greet him, probably bows a little and does a lil gesture with his hands before returning the greeting

Similar reaction as pomni when you blink-eat

Where did the food go??????

ZOOBLE:

I must admit, I think zooble would find you creepy, too <\3, or at least a little unsettling.. like sure they wont be mean to you unlike SOMEONE but they're a little put off by your odd behaviors

Though they would get accustomed to it in time, I think, especially since I have a whole "zooble ultimately doesnt care much about what's going as a means to cope w/ the digital circus as well as that just being their personality"

Does not like the eye contact, though; zooble seems like the type who wouldnt like eye contact... maybe I'm self projecting, though...

The eye contact definitely is what fed into the unsettling factor for them..

GANGLE:

The eye contact makes her so so nervous, she doesnt really have eyes the same way everyone else does but it still... makes her feel off

Similar to Caine she does feel nice when you greet her.. yes she knows out do it for everyone, but that doesnt dismiss the nice feeling she gets that someone is. Well being nice to her...

Shed like your voice, I think, oddly soothing and it's not too bold and out there.. not overwhelming, you know?

Not many ideas for gangle today <\3

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #jax x reader #ragatha x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

232 notes · View notes

imkazz · 2 months ago

Text

finished saiki k and i am not coping well

yeahh i get why they said theres no development until the last 2 episodes. because i have thoughts. more than i had for season 2 or season 1.

@peapodsinspace ing because this isnt from discord and i was freaking out with you real time when i was watching loll

cannot believe this is only about three episodes. how is this just three???? im just going to go in chronological order and hope for the best and barely proofread loll

the future talks. ohhh i am ill about the future talks. saiki kusuo has more pressing matters than his future and it kills me every time. because he cant focus on himsef- there is an active volcano that he has always been rewinding time for. he cannot have the time to think about university or a future career until this is all over, which is so unlike me (a normal teenager) that it makes me ill because this is what a normal teenager should be thinking about, not the fucking country that you have to save by yourself. and at least i was so happy that they were crowding around kusuos desk until they started talking about the very future that he has to save, and then i was even happier to hear that kuboyasu and hairo want to become teachers because those types of characters always kill me (despite the fact that the anime also made fun on the fact that it is a trope too) and they are both really good picks from the gang to actually become them. i also enjoyed the quiz game they did to guess kusuos college- teruhashi was the only one to get a ‘hm good guess’ out of kusuo, and his chosen places are literally ‘economics’ ‘literature’ ‘literature’ and the fact that everyone said “thats so normal”in distaste implies that they believe that kusuo could do better. and then THIS.

and the fact kusuo thinks “maybe this could go on forever…” with a smile on his face???? like my dude you are wayy too attached to them noww..

ok so it seems i might even just. be doing a paragraph per episode. now.

the robot?? i agree with what i said my first watch: WHY IS THE SAIKI FAMILY SO DEPENDANT ON GENERATIVE AI AND ROBOTS. i wasnt sure which one it would do- if it would fool all his friends or if it would be too suspicious for them. but i was dead wrong- it says ‘yare yare’ too many times and it is obviously saiki kusuo in the flesh (get it?). i was growing more concerned (and out of breath from laughing) at all the shenanigans that happened along with how kusuo attempted to get rid of it, showing a bit more of his battle iq and intelligence along with his relationships with the other psychics, through his quick strategizing along with utilising his abilities to help in specific situations, along with the relationships he has cumulated with them in order to get them to trust him and follow his word when serious times arise. not only that, but kusuke gets additional information about all of that along with us the audience because he is also a part of the audience (my brain hurts from some of this stuff).

then for the battle. i am illllllll. so. for many many episodes, we have watched kusuo try and make plans to avoid his friends in all sorts of situations. but this bit? its golden. he finds a disadvantage from not knowing what toritsuka has been doing all week, and that temporarily weakens him until he comes up with a new plan on the given information he knows and has pieced together himself, and then used it to get his body back. then not only that, he begins to fight without his limiter. and we know its hard even with the limiter!! we watched him struggle to throw balls, and then practice to ensure that he could control his strength. amazing already, but then he begins to turn a bad situation into something favourable especially with toritsuka in the mix. because both saiki brothers are smart af. even if toritsuka isnt of use, kusuke reuses him as a hostage and then when that doesnt work, himself and the limiter (all things important to kusuo). kusuo is able to put together that the bomb was fake because kusuke spoke for too long and he remembered aiuras word and trusts her power.

and then the battle plan is so smart?? kusuo is able to use his disadvantages as advantages (teleportation doesnt need the 3 minute cooldown), and then purposefully drained his strength to be able to pick up the limiter and put it back into his head without breaking it. he could read toritsukas mind and realised that he didnt actually hate kusuo (i found how this was shown as really cool too? instead of the background it was soft shapes and colours implying friendliness as it showed both of them). he made enough of a friendship with toritsuka to get him not to hate him even after being brainwashed. kusuo dragged out the battle to try and gauge what the cat tank could do. AND HES SEVENTEEN. what shocked me further was the fact that he took out the limiter. which he thought would reveal his powers to the world. sure its an asshole thing of kusuke to say/do to kusuo but he at least disabled it a long time ago. but im more focused on kusuo. he took it out. he took it out. thats HUGE. he really thought he would be letting go of normalcy and never be able to go to school without being worshipped. and he did it on his own terms. i was so happy to see how he was smiling and happy thinking about his friends too.. like kusuo was happy with the time he spent with them as a normal kid. but then he was so ready to blast them with full power after both of their comments lolll. and i also found it interesting how kusuke took off his telepathy blocker when explaining why he disabled it so that his brother could know he was telling the truth. and the fact that they moved past the fact that kusuke made a limiter that completely erases kusuos powers?!??!?! and i was confused when toritsuka and kusuo moved past it so easily but. thank fuck they revisited that tidbit???? what made me sadder was the fact that kusuo wanted it so badly, and yet couldnt. because of the volcano. it was good foreshadowing when kusuo thought ‘move forwards.. theyre right. i should clean this up quickly’ in the first part of the episode and then to have this too.. the emotional turmoil is too much. on one hand he could get rid of powers he hates and yet he still has to save the world which he has been putting on hold because he needs more power. like yeah please kill me now, especially that last interaction between toritsuka and kusuo. like yeah hes fake mad at toritsuka at first but then he has to give his genuine thanks because there was no way kusuo would have won if it was just himself, as toritsuka was a key part of the battle from his new powers to his status as a hostage to the fact he broke past the brainwashing.

and when they finally start planning that trip (callback to the first segment of episode one!!) and they decide upon the place where an active volcano has tried to blow up for four years. absolute madlads. kusuo diverted them at first but its a comedy anime too- ofc they are going to oshimai.

and everyone asking why he cant go is hillarious too.. “what plans do you have?” “im sure its nothing important!” ‘im saving the world?!’ yeahhh he has to go, because he cares. he doesnt want them to cancel what they think is their last fun time together before third year. its not because his mom forced him. its because he loves them. the cumulation of four years with these losers has made kusuo soft for them.

when they actually get to oshimai, i would have loved to watch their shenanigans. im sure they are chaos incarnate while on a play date with each other, but i really liked how the anime showed the tension that kusuo had. even as the rest of them were having lighthearted conversations, there was always a pit in my stomach as kusuo continued to refer to the mountain and was generally downcast while the group did all of those activities i would have previously have laughed at if it was not for the huge threat right there and despite the fact that kusuo looks the same as always (silent, in the background, neutral face) i felt nervous because he had said so just barely a minute ago and hadnt mentioned again. its shown through the way he allowed teruhashi to do as she pleased, how he would look at the mountain constantly, not say anything mentally to the audience.. it was offputting and really set the vibes. his face reflected in the window, with owari yama right there too? perfect way to end the segment.

i found it clever how saiki used a previous part to help him: the robot. he now knows that nobody suspects anything if he just says ‘yare yare’ and he now uses this with his hypnosis (seen in many episodes, such as s1 ep 24) to mesh together a perfect stand in (according to his friends OOF). and then he uses the clones (from s2 ep22) to help with the eruption (s2 ep13). not only that, his plan is pretty good. he has already used toritsuka as a stand in (when kusuo turned kaido and nendo into stone) and then aiura has already helped him with a previous eruption which he had to turn back time on. it was also a callback to kusuo in the previous episode: no way kusuo would have asked kusuke for help on how to solve the volcano problem if they had not cleared some things up after the fight, and no way would he have if there was no power canceller, and no way if the limiter being pulled would still tell the world about his powers. this is a big climax towards things that the plot has been working towards, and it is a mix of everything: many specific instances, his training, previous lore, character development, his friends and family, kusuos priorities, his emotional stances. they all played some sort of part in his plan to enable time to move forwards.

i was concerned to see him beat up (because looookkk hes just two years older than mee and also pretty oppp) but i was so fuckin pumped that time was moving forwards and he was also pretty happy, given the smile. and the joy immediately left. because everyone showed up, and then to show that alternate universe where things were almost the same but slightly different?? and the fact that kusuo literally told all of them about his powers because he knew he could go back in time and erase all of that? its killing me because he did that because he knew he could experiment for a reaction and then erase it as if nothing actually happened. and it really seems like theres no getting out of it right. his friends saw him, they see the clones, they see toritsuka faking as kusuo, they see the real kusuo holding the ground and preventing the eruption. theres no lying to get out of it. but the same as i thought from the shipwrecked episodes, of course saiki kusuo gets out of it. kaido realises it too and he just wants the truth because he trusts kusuo so much. its been there since the beginning, how much kaido cares about saiki and wants him to be happy because kusuo has made kaido happy, and how much kaido values their friendship. he has always wanted kusuo to remain safe and happy and to be friends with each other.. we see how the rest of them just want kusuo to tell the truth, because they will love him no matter what. and it was shown through the alternate timeline, too, how they dont care about the powers, even if they dont understand, that they know kusuo and know that he has their best interests in mind because he is their friend. and somehow its nendo who is the reasonable one, we have seen him be kind and understanding towards both kusuo and others at so many instances but it is this one that touches kusuo because nendo has always been there for him, throughout all sorts of situations. sure he is dumb, but nendos strength is not athletics. it is his kindness.

then the fact that everyone agrees with him.. theres no way this is a comedy anime. this is a slice-of-life coming-of-age angst/horror anime which has comic relief. it was shown through the alternate timeline, too, how they dont care about kusuos powers, even if they dont understand, that they know kusuo and know that he has their best interests in mind because he is their friend. and he knows that even if it is a different timeline, that they would still remain the same in the stance. so he speaks. with his mouth. its huge!! his eyes are shiny because this is absolute confirmation that they would love him even if they knew that about him, because he has given them the same treatment- he has seen a huge part of them that they dont share, and he still loves them, so the opposite is also true. ..but he cant share it yet, not until his powers are gone of course. and it makes sense, of course. if i was one of his friends, i would prefer learning about that after his powers are gone- and this is a decision he is sure about. kusuos powers have caused him so much suffering. while he has many typical teenager traits, he is all in all, incredibly different due to his enlarged responsibilities over himself and the world. sure, his powers have helped him in many situations, but for kusuo, the bad outweigh the good and this has been his ultimate goal for a very long time. while removing his powers will not get rid of the weirdness surrounding him, it will get rid of a lot of the pain and stress. and i was so fucking excited when hairo said that kusuo called everyone over- because we the audience know what will be happening. and it would definitely be for the best, as kusuo really wants to apologise for many of the things that happened because of his powers.

and then the fucking window.

then this is why im very happy for the watch order to be posted. because this cliffhanger is too much without reawakened episode 6.

i find it so funny that while kusuo has lost his powers, that he still has the ability to break the fourth wall. when asked if his delusions are the same as kaido in middle schooler syndrome, he has to reply with an “absolutely not”. i love how he is feeling the effects of losing his powers. he has relied on his powers as another limb his entire life, and they are suddenly gone. even if they are overall bad, he still used them daily and isnt used to life without it because he was forced to live with it previously, meaning that he would find some use through the disadvantages. i also really liked how while kusuo could very blatantly feel the loss, he could also appreciate the beauties of normal life. actually be able to see his friends rather than just a skeleton, probably have a peaceful sleep, any of those powers he couldnt turn off have finally done so and he has a lot less weight as a result. it is really interesting to watch him try and get out of situations he would have previously avoided using his powers, as he has to rely on his own intuition and chance rather than himself and his abilities.

but it is an anime, and god hates him, so kusuo is stuck with teruhashi on their project. he sees the disadvantages everywhere- things that normal people are used to but he is not, and it seems like good representation for disability- having something and then suddenly having it gone, so you are only left with routines that are no longer possible because you are missing a key component. and not only that, there are hinders towards kusuos journey.

he gets a fucking bookshelf toppled over onto him. huhhhhhh???? would you really go so far as to kill a kid for accidentally becoming partners with a girl for one school project?? and i was also confused until i saw nendo- in all his glory. seriously, this guy is insanely good at protecting people without a single thought beforehand (he has to get it from his dad right). and not only that, we watch toritsuka and kuboyasu against the bullies- two people insanely good at beating people up. this is a great place to show some character development- nendo gives a speech to kusuo about how even the strongest can need protecting, and it is shown with how nendo instinctively went to protect him from the bookcase and toritsuka/kuboyasu went to beat up the ones who caused it.. finally kusuo himself can get protected by his friends. because he isnt used to it in the slightest. he desperately wanted to get rid of the powers without fully realising how much he relied on them for daily life. even in dangerous situations he would subconsciously rely on powers he doesnt have anymore, and he even realises it and doubts his decision. but nendo comes in and saves it and i find that very precious and important to kusuo to realise that he doesnt always have to be the overpowered one because there are people around him who still care regardless.

but it doesnt last. he cannot even get used to having no powers because they come back only two days later. the way it was presented was pretty cool, too, with how kusuos hand made an indent into the wall from where he slammed it, to the thought bubble from kusuke. and i also thought the way the dawning horror was shown was pretty cool. the purple and blue spirals towards a terrified kusuo without his limiters or glasses, at night, while kusuke continues talking and says that kusuo has evolved past being human in order to control his powers? yeah terrifying, i felt the horror in me too. because how long had he been evolving for? if hed gotten rid of the powers faster, would it have worked? if he hadnt spent so long on the volcano, could he be normal? was he ever actually normal? was it only recently since his body had changed to adapt? because with his body, kusuo relies on his powers. it could be compared to another heart, or a limb. his body needs powers because that is what they are used to. eyes that see through skin, a brain that can hear thoughts, muscles that are used to carrying boulders.. the list goes on and it shows that he has no choice but to use powers, as his mind has always been on fixing problems using parts of him that he has always had, his own biology has been on that. yeah psychological horror much.

the fact that it doesnt work. being told to live normally and peacefully without thinking about his powers doesnt work. because kusuo is far too used to them, he doesnt even think before using them for the little things in daily life such as opening the door or pushing in his seat. its like a papercut on your finger and only then do you realise how much you use that finger all the time- he doesnt realise it until its too late. and then he continues to remain ignorant until it actually happens, such as clairvoyance and new (useless) powers forming. he is already too used to it that he uses them without realising, because that was his normal. kusuo can also realise this with his dawning terror at each thing that happens with his power, with the foreboding patterns with dark colours and his horrified face. he is trying so hard to deny it because even if there are good things that come with his powers, ultimately, they cause him suffering. but it doesnt even fucking work.

its really sad to see him accidentally use powers, as they come back swiftly. kusuo is trying so hard to deny his symptoms but there is really no use: the illness is back. he teleported home, used clairvoyance, talked using telepathy, went invisible, used psycokinesis, saw through someone.. theres too many to deny that his powers are back. but kusuke asks valid questions: did anything good happen without them? and the answer is kusuo thinking about the bookshelf incident. because there are both good and bad things from it, he had to get protected and was weakened by the fact he couldnt see it coming, but it was good to know that so many people are willing to protect him. but then theres a fucking meteor. its also a manipulative thing for kusuke to do, asking that question and then thrusting a natural disaster upon his brother going through an existential crisis. because kusuo has a choice to make. he could try and suppress the powers even further and live a normal life until the end and let kusuke deal with it as that is the path that he chose. or kusuo could accept that the powers are a part of him and that people will still love him regardless, and make the choice to save the world and possibly never live normally again. and its a shitty situation all around. a seventeen year old should not have to make such a choice.

and yet he has to. because kusuo can hear his friends pleading for help, their fear, their reactions, confusion. kusuo knows he cannot have his father do something of this scale, or let his brother do something like that to their dad. he cant let the meteor hit earth because everyone he loves is there. kusuo was always one to complain verbally(mentally) about shit he gets wrapped up in, but from the context clues and his actions throughout the series, he has shown just how much he cares and tries to help even with how much he drags his feet and complains and insults. because all kusuo wants is for his friends to be happy, and to live normally. but those two things cannot coexist, at least not for long. and then he smiled. he chooses their happiness, because that is the kind of person kusuo is. he has said that he is a psychic in so many situations and for so many reasons, but at the start and end of the series, it is the same ten words.

“so my life of peace is over, but i feel that is not so bad after all.. perhaps i like to deal with hassles after all. yare yare. my name is saiki kusuo. and i am a psychic.”

#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki kusou no psi nan #saiki no psi nan #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki kusuo #kusuo saiki #saiki #psychic kusuo #saiki k #saiki kusuo no psi nan #my brain cannot comprehend masterpieces #but i tried #i dumped this over 3 hours folks #i am in love if you cant tell #saiki kusuo deserves so many coffee jelly guys #my brain is mush

20 notes · View notes

heademptie · 11 months ago

Text

Thinking about Ghoap x Comms!Reader

(This is unedited ramblings at 10pm, this may end up being something, it may not)

(Also don't know if this is an actual job, but it makes sense to me that it would exist. But this is fanfiction so who cares)

Reader works for the military as well but their job is to monitor and transcribe communications during ops. Maybe they tried to be a soldier but got denied for some reason, maybe injury, maybe because they couldn't cope with directly taking lives or loosing them.

And readers been at it for a while, is good at thier job, keeps their head down, keeps what they hear to themself.

Reader is loyal, so they get a bit of leeway with their work. Gets assigned to monitor some of the 141's comms and becomes a detatched form of familiar with the team. They don't know who reader is, that they even exist, that most of their radio chatter is being heard by one person at a desk in a government building so far away.

Typically reader just zones out when working, purposefully trying to forget the confidential things they hear once they leave the building. But the 141 is... entertaining. The way they speak to each other with such familiarity and how they can make jokes without loosing sight of the mission, and how at the drop of the hat they hone in and get serious. They start to look forward to 'Price's paternal exasperation, 'Gaz's quick wit, 'Ghost's dry dad jokes, and 'Soap's cheeky comments. Occasionally they're graced with 'Laswell's easy verbal volleys with each member of the team. (Thinking about including Roach too)

And its obvious to reader, absurdly obvious, that Ghost and Soap are together. The thinly veiled, and the very not thinly veiled, flirting between the two is a giveaway. But what really sends it home is the panic. Reader was the one to transcribe the recoding from Las Almas. Right at the beginning, when Ghosts voice called out to Soap, he was calm in that call. But then Soap didnt answer. And reader heard the concealed panic when Ghost called out again, and they heard the relief when he did.

So reader figures out that they're together. Assumes as much. And takes a bit of joy from it. Takes some joy that people in such a brutal line of work have someone who understands and cares for them.

Maybe circumstances lead to reader needing to be saved. Or maybe they end up on base at the same time the 141 is there. And they run into the team some way. Readers smart, so they keep thier mouth shut about being privvy to their comms. Keeps to well known facts about the 141, the stuff soldiers outside of the team would know through reputation and minimal meetings.

Maybe they go out drinking, or maybe reader ends up bonding with the team some. They're all chilling somewhere together, and someone starts hitting on Soap and reader brushes it off. He's an attractive guy, charming too, its understandable. But Soap doesnt turn them down and reader looks over to Ghost who's watching the interaction too. And reader, without thinking says something about an open relationship. Ghost whips around on them in carefully concealed shock and asks them to repeat. Reader explains slowly, not yet realsing their error.

Its not until later, when Soap has left with the pretty thing who hit on him and Ghost had left quickly after readers comment, when Price is chuckling over his drink after reader has explained what they said, that they learn.

Ghost and Soap are not in fact in an open relationship. They are not even in any kind of relationship, romantic or sexual. And reader is shocked, if not a little disappointed, maybe even hurt. It's their own fault, really, they built up this false relationship between real people in their head only for it to remain in their head.

Later on, reader finds Ghost. Wanting to apologise for, stepping over the line? making the unsolicited comment? they're not entirely sure but they feel they should apologise anyway.

This is kinda where my thoughts end. I do have some I haven't mentioned but I don't know where to put them. Nor do I know exactly where this is going. Just some brain rot I've had.

#call of duty #ghost cod #ghoap x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mctavish x reader #brain rot #fanfic #i dont know what im doing #just having thoughts #comms!reader #john soap mactavish x simon ghost riley

94 notes · View notes

yoshiko-and-the-hikikomori · 10 days ago

Text

Headcanons List!! ☆

--> general tw for mentioning s/h

if the item has a star (★) next to it, that means its one that i, mod, have projected onto him. this means that he's probably ooc!!

Gifted kid burnout, which led to more anxiety being put on him- if he isn't an academic weapon, what is he good for? ★

He also came from a pretty religious family, which fucked him up 'cause now every little thing he does is watched, right? ★

I like giving him longer hair and more stubble than in canon sooo

He gets headaches and motion sickness really easily due to how long he stares at his screens ★

He's got acne scars ★ oh my godddddddd please i love adding little human touches to him. this doesnt make you any less beautiful in fact i love you more because of it dont even try me

He owns those dumb 'eat sleep play video games repeat' and 'i paused my game to be here' shirts because people bought them as a joke for him

REALLY bad anxiety and depression (which i mean. canon actually)

the previous point means that his physical health also is pretty bad because depression is a bitch and will make you unable to do things like eat, drink water, shower, brush your teeth/hair and we don't need to sanitize that its okay to be human ★

major eyebags!!!

He'll go through these phases where he'll eat a lot at once for a few days then eat nothing at all for another few days in a cycle ★

He got disowned when he turned 18 due to being a 'disappointment' so he dropped out of college due to the mental toll that took

He's actually pretty smart without his ability, he just doesn't believe it 'cause he feels like his ability is the only thing that makes him smart.

He uses really bad humor to cope with his feelings!!! ★

MAJOR sweet tooth ★ get that man away from nearby pastry shops. He sometimes visits them before they close/right when they open because there's less people, and the workers there know him by name.

He used to self-harm but stopped recently.

Can't roll a blunt to save him life (is he stupid??)

He's addicted to keychains.★ He doesn't have any bags to put them on (he doesn't go outside enough to need one) so he just has a corkboard with pins in it to hold them.

He picked up a whole bunch of hobbies due to boredom of being inside all day with nothing to do. He's mediocre at them, but it's a bit of enjoyment that's worth it.

that's it. that's the point. guys please do you hear my screaming into the void not everyone can be twinks. do we see the vision of the homebody who has self-esteem issues yet cannot bring himself to change it (due to depression immobilitating him). who has to learn to love himself. also i just think he's cute.

He writes fanfiction c'mon. Look at that man and tell me to my face he has not taken a crack at dear Archive of our Own to write tooth-rotting fluff. Maybe a sickfic even. Do we see the potential everyone.

Terrible vision, he can't even see his own feet in front of him without his glasses. He's not making it better with his ability, but oh well...

He hates eating fish ★

He has a box containing all of his old childhood toys buried into a closet after having put them away at the ripe age of 05 ★ (this one doesn't count for my other blog, @/yoshiko-the-blankie because he's 07)

He has a really bad problem with gnawing and biting- he'll bite at his lips (then wonder why they're bleeding and cracked-), inner cheek, or whatever he can get into his mouth at the time. ★

Uhhh bushy eyebrows because the guy i'm into has them. so he can too

ALSO I FORGOT WHEN I POSTED THIS. I REFERENCE KUNIKIDA AND KATAI'S MAGNIFICENT DAYS A LOT. AS WELL AS THE WAN! CHAPTERS (ESPECIALLY MIDNIGHT TENSIONS ('giant mushroom') AND STORMING KATAI TAYAMA NEXT DOOR!!!! okay thank you

he got bullied a LOT in high school

I'll probably add more when I think of them / they fit RP lore soo

computer divider @/bleedingspiral | tags?? if you're interested idk @no-ones-sunshine

#mod attack!!!!! scares you!!!!!!!#idk if i should tag this with the main tags...#uhh #bsd rp #bsd roleplay #thats good i think

13 notes · View notes

mha-quotes-and-such · 7 months ago

Note

i just watched Inside Out 2 and it gave me an idea! (And I'm about to make it your problem)

So: if the League was responsible for someone's (probably not very mentally stable) mind, which emotion would each of them be? (It doesn't have to be an emotion from the film. Go wild if you want!)

Also, who would be in control the most? And is someone actually in charge?

So because I love to make things difficult for myself, I decided that they’ll not only have to be from the movies, but that each emotion can only be used once. That being said I think they’d be:

Joy - Magne. While Magne joined the League due to being discriminated and feeling out of place in society, I think shes the greatest example of someone who turned the League into a real home, and turned herself into someone she was proud of. She wanted to find a place where she could be herself, and find the confidence to be herself as well. And she did! She found that place and those people and found her own confidence and made her life something she could be happy with

Anxiety - Twice. Obviously a lot of his character is about being uncertain of himself and constantly being conflicted or contradicting himself. His general stance on himself is clearly a huge source of stress and anxiety for him, but also I think his jumpy/contradictory personality kind of embodies anxiety in a way

Ennui - Mr Compress. Alright I know this might seem kind of odd since hes Anything but the tired, bored, apathetic teen in Inside Out, but hear me out. He sorta acts as the counter to ennui. He doesnt really have a reason to be a villain other than he just. Wants to? He doesnt need to be dramatic or flamboyant but he Wants To. In a way, you say that he does find the world to be uninteresting or unappealing, and that on its own its not something he particular cares about. He acts the way he does because of that, he wants to make sure he doesn’t become bored and apathetic

Anger - Dabi. This ones pretty self explanatory I think. Hes angry at the world, at his family, at his life, at heroes, everything. His main motivation is that hes been wronged, and everyone deserves to pay for it. While a lot of the League are angry that they were wronged in some way, most of them have learned to cope with it in some way, or channel it into other goals and mindsets. Dabi never really learned to do this, and instead made his whole life a mission of revenge

Disgust - Mustard. He’s absolutely repulsed by heroes, especially those in training, seeing them as snobs who look down on others. He’s angry like Dabi, but in a way where social hierarchies play a lot into it. Maybe its just because hes a teen, but he reminds me a lot of stereotypical high school movies, where the dislike between kids is less focused on genuine injustices, and more on distain for social politics and a general sense of how much “better” you are than someone else. From what I remember of Disgust in Inside Out she had a similar vibe to her

Envy - Toga. While a lot of the league have a story about wanting something that others have (safety, friendship, self confidence, etc.) Toga is the one who acts on this the most, and in the most malicious ways. Her desire for other people or what they have is a main motivating force for her, and you can see that in the way she acts with other people, especially with how possessive she can be

Fear - Shigaraki. A lot of Shigaraki’s life has revolved around fear in some way. He started out as a timid child, scared of his family and later scared of himself. His fear was then taken advantage of by OfA, using it to mold him into the perfect prodigy in his teen/young adult years. As an adult, he serves as the face of the League, being a symbol of fear to the general public

Nostalgia - Kurogiri. While Kurogiri himself may not have any memories of his life pre-League, a lot of his story revolves around the past, and a life he can never go back to. Also the fact that Riley gets nostalgia later in life and Oboro became Kurogiri later as well matches up nicely I think

I couldn’t really think of anyone for sadness or embarrassment so. Whoops.

I think in typical League fashion, Shigaraki is in charge to an extent. At least if not in charge then he’s most prevalent. I think the person stuck with these assholes would be both a really worried person in general, constantly fearing that everyone is against them, but they would cope with that by trying to get others to fear them instead

#i was not expecting to have to research inside out today #i havent seen the first movie since it came out and havent seen the second one #my hero academia #league of villains #not a quote #ask #inside out 2 spoilers #are the new emotions spoilers??#stuff i never thought id be asking/tagging

27 notes · View notes

silentmoths · 2 years ago

Text

Just some Single Dad! Zhongli x Kindergarten teacher Reader things

I dunno, it was a cute idea and I'm writing it on the fly because my eyeballs needed a break from star rail.

not proofred, Zhongli x reader (tried to keep the pronouns gn but forgive if i missed a few and like, xiao referrs to them as mama at one point)

sfw

Zhongli who had adopted a young Xiao from an unfortunate situation shortly after he loses Guizhong. Was it a coping mechanism? absolutely, but he wanted, no, needed, someone to care for, to put his time into.

He loves Xiao, kid's his whole world. It takes him a little longer to learn to talk, and even then, he's very shy, very much a velcro toddler. Zhongli doesn't mind.

He does start worrying however, when Xiao reaches age four and the boy shows no interest in socializing, he doesn't really know how to play, other than with his dad, and while li does his best, he's no child, he doesnt know what the kids are into these days.

That and, while he's worked from home pretty much all this time, he's also feeling the itch to return to the office, perhaps talk to people who weren't four, but he also doesn't know how well Xiao will adjust to going to kindergarten, but he doesnt want to leave his son high and dry when he inevitably has to start grade school.

So, eventually, after much anxiety, he bites the bullet and enrolls Xiao into the kindergarten closest to his office, that way if he doesn't take it well, he can quickly swing in and take him, it's not like Director Hu would ever turn the child away.

He explains what kindergarten is, and what to expect to xiao, and of course the boy is all brave, puffed chest and hardened face (sometimes Zhongli wonders if he's let the boy watch too much ninjago) and tells his papa he'll be fine, he's a big boy and he can handle it, he can handle anything!!

yeah thats a fat load of crap, the boy is an absolute sobbing mess the next day at drop off.

to be fair, it's also a very near thing for Zhongli. he's not been without Xiao for an extended period since he adopted the boy four years ago, they've always been together, and seeing his son cry like that is almost too much to bear.

That is until someone kneels beside his son with a soft handkerchief with a little duck embroidered in the corner. they coo and gently dabs away Xiao's tears with a soft smile.

"oh dear...you must be Xiao." they greet softly, taking one of his little hands in their own and giving it a little shake. "I know new places can be scary, but it's ok. you trust your papa, dont you?" Zhongli is prepared to step in, to tell them that Xiao doesn't really talk much, but his son surprises him.

"U-uh-huh..." he wibbles, letting this newcomer dry his eyes.

"Well, you know your papa would never leave you somewhere he didn't think you'd like, right?"

"mhm..."

Zhongli watches as you smile, and he feels the shock settling into his chest. He knew you were certified in early childhood...but no one, not even the best paediatricians had managed to get a sound out of Xiao.

"Papa wont be very far away, how's about this...if you really really don't like it here today, papa is only a phone call away, he can always come and get you, yeah?"

Xiao turns his watery yellow eyes up to Him and Zhongli smiles, easily scooping the boy up when he raises his arms. "They're right little dove, I won't be far, and I promise to come get you if you are unhappy, if you can try to give it a try?" He murmurs.

Xiao, to his credit, sniffles and gives his papa a small nod, he's rewarded with a tight squeeze and a kiss to his forehead.

"that's my boy. Try to have some fun, hm? there's lots of toys for you to play with..."

"Mhm..."

Xiao surprises him yet again, when the teacher stands, he turns and stretches his arms out to them, never in all his years has Zhongli seen his child do that either.

To their credit, they take him with ease, settling him into the crook of one arm with a soft croon before looking to Zhongli with a smile.

"and you must be Zhongli? It's a pleasure to meet you." you greet, holding out your hand for him to shake. "It's quite normal for little ones to have the first day blues, I'm sure after morning snack he'll be just fine."

Zhongli can't help but smile, he had a feeling Xiao would be just fine.

It only takes a week before it's Xiao who's waiting by the front door, bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for him to unlock the car so they can go.

He hasn't stopped talking about school, about his new friends and of course his teacher. Zhongli has never felt so relieved to know that his son is adjusting quite well.

He runs into the room to greet you with a smile and a hug to the leg, seemingly only just remembering to turn and give his papa a hug and a kiss.

"Have a good day at work, Papa!" he coos happily as Zhongli picks him up for their usual farewell cuddle.

"And you too, little dove." his response comes easy as he puts his son down and watches him gallavant over to his little group of friends.

"And to think a week ago he was crying his little eyes out." you chuckle, Zhongli hums and nods before remembering he had something to mention.

"Ah, there is a chance I might be a little later to pick him up than usual, It will be before the centre closes, but I figured I'd give you some warning lest Xiao worry."

"Oh, no problem! even if you think you might be later than close, just call the centre before hand! I'll make sure he's safe." you smile at him, and he feels another sense of relief wash over him.

He does end up running late, much later than he'd expected. Adding in traffic, he knew the centre would be closed by the time he made it, and he'd called ahead.

He comes rushing into the room, full apology at the ready, and assurance that any acrewed late fee's would of course be paid in full without complaint but stops dead at the sight before him.

Xiao, asleep, on your shoulder as you hum a soft tune. He can tell his son had been crying by the redness of his cheeks, he must have been a bit anxious because of his lateness.

You spot him in the doorway and smile, slowly ceasing your song as you effortlessly grab Xiao's bag from his cubby, and a drawing from the art rack with practiced ease.

"How was he?" he whispers as he hooks Xiao's bag over his shoulder.

"An angel as always." you whisper back, attempting to pass Xiao to him, but you're stopped when she little boy whines in his sleep, burying his face into the crook of your neck with a content huff, little hands clenched into the collar of your shirt tightly. "Oh...seem's he's comfortable..."

"And he'll be cranky if you pull him away too soon." Zhongli sighs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, perhaps it was his fault for indulging the little boy's need to be close, but who could really say no to that face?

"hm...ok, gimme a sec." you chuckle, shifting to hold Xiao in one arm as you quickly glide through the classroom, picking up stray toys and nudging little chairs back in beneath their tables with your foot, hitting lightswitches and locking doors with such ease that it leaves Zhongli impressed.

It all culminates with you both (plus xiao, still napping away) in the parking lot, everyone else was already long gone, and Zhongli finally bows his head to you.

"My most sincere apologies for being so late, I'll make sure the late fee is included-"

"Oh, no no, it's fine Mr. Zhongli." You wave him off "It was an honest mistake, and honestly, Xiao is such an angel, It's really no trouble. heck, before he started worrying, he was helping me clean up." you explain with a small smile, hand rubbing small circles into the child's back "You have a wonderful little boy, Mr. Zhongli, you've done an amazing job."

Zhongli blinks.

Perhaps it was just a combination of his stressing about being late, his anxiety about leaving his son to return to work, and everything else.

but that was also the first time someone had actually said those words.

He'd done a good job.

He'd raised a good kid.

He hadn't fucked up.

"M-Mr. Zhongli?" he hears you ask in a panic as he comes back to himself, he see's your wide eyes, worried as your free hand digs around in your jeans pocket, pulling out yet another handkerchief with an embroidered duck in the corner. "Are you alright? did I say something wrong?"

Only now does he realize he's crying like a damned fool.

"a-ah. my apologies" he mumbles, taking your handkerchief to be polite and drying his eyes "It's just...it's been a turbulent week."

Your face softens a little as you lean against the hood of your car. "First time leaving him?" you ask, he nods.

"I've not been without him since I adopted him..." He admits "And I was so worried he wouldn't take to school, or children his age..."

"He's doing wonderfully." you reassure "he's respectful and attentive, sometimes he can be a little bit of a tattle tail but he's thriving."

Zhongli chuckles, somehow he can see his boy, chest all puffed out, telling off other children for breaking the rules "That's...good to hear."

"Oh, hey Xiao...guess who's here?" He hears you mumble as Xiao finally shifts in your arms. Slowly Xiao turns his sleepy eyes to Zhongli and his soft little frown eases a little at the familiar sight. "See? told you the mean cars were just making papa a little late."

Xiao goes easy when you finally move to hand him back, snuggling right into Zhongli's shoulder with a content murmur.

"Thank you so much again for watching him after hours." He sighs "please, if there is anything I can ever do, let me know."

"oh you." you chuckle as you reach for your keys "Like i said, he's an angel, and it was only, what, fifteen minutes? I'm sure I'll survive." you joke with him before tilting your head to smile as Xiao. "Bye bye Xiao, I'll see you on monday, yeah?"

"mmh...bye momma..." the little boy mumbles, already half asleep.

Zhongli can feel the way his cheeks heat, and he can see the way yours flush a rather pretty shade of pink before you laugh, trying to wave it off.

"o-oh that happens more often than you'd think!" you chuckle as you unlock the door. "H-have a pleasant evening, Mr. Zhongli."

Zhongli feels like a deer in the headlights. It was a simple mistake on his son's part, he probably just wasn't used to the concept of 'teachers' yet.

but even so.

"Same to you." he mumbles stiffly, bowinf his head once more before he turns and makes back towards his shiny black sedan, anu excuse to hide his red face.

As he's carefully clipping Xiao into his booster seat, the drawing you'd grabbed from the rack slips out of his bag, teetering on Zhongli's shoulder, and his face goes even redder.

Seems he might need to have a talk with his son, if the crude stick figure drawing of Him and His teacher holding hands, with Xiao holding Zhongli's other hand, was any indicator.

and yet, he cannot help but notice, that it was definitely your handwriting attatched to the little arrows pointing to each stick figure, meaning you too had seen this picture.

Zhongli quietly wonders what that might mean as he climbs into the drivers seat.

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo @angel-of-requiem Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

#Silentmothwrites #moth is not silent #Zhongli x reader #Genshin Zhongli

342 notes · View notes