#he doesnt know how to cope well so he turns to the only thing he knows he can ace

[jrueships]

what is he going through 😭 https://twitter(.)com/iamSauceGardner/status/1625382080480960512?s=20&t=-rHbYJEo5YjZqn-V_tADmQ

Also posting this at 2am on valentines day is crazy

then like 20+ minutes later he's snooping on people like 😭 sauce can we be normal please. for five seconds

[feline-insolitum]

i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go

LOOK AT HIM!!!

most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing

you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him

but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it

you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.

and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!

i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.

maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place

i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.

that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him

this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.

after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.

this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?

and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown

i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written

[zvdvdlvr]

Why’d You Have to Wait?

🔥 - synopsis. You get kidnapped on a case. Aaron’s coping mechanism? Self isolation. But when you’re recovering, Aaron wonders if staying away from you is the right thing to do. Jack convinces him anyway. Are things too far gone for Aaron to fix?

🔥 - warnings. Non descriptive torture. Scars. Burns. Very vaguely described mental issues. Slow burn. Friends ro enemies to lovers? Sad hotch. Angst. No happy ending.

🔥 - author’s note. Doing a part two. Hopefully this doesnt flop :)

Aaron had dreams about it now. They were so vivid- lifelike and real. Every time he had them he woke up in a cold sweat, heaving in the bathroom as tears dripped slowly down his face.

He hadn’t gone to the hospital to see you. In fact, Aaron hadn’t seen you since the day you almost died. He rode in the ambulance, but tore himself away from the hospital as he watched the doctors wheel you into the operating room. Your blood had stained his hands, face, and arms for days. Every time the white spots danced in his vision after emptying the contents of his stomach, he swears he can still see the glossy red liquid drip off his fingers.

You were well like. Not only by the team but by Strauss. She had given the team the time off to help y/n recover: sit in her room after another surgery, cheer for her during physical therapy.

Jack loved having time to see his dad after school, but he knew something was wrong after consistently hearing him pad to the kitchen during the middle of the night.

Tonight was no different.

Jack sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. He blinked owlishly around the room and stood up. The little Hotchner slowly followed the light to the kitchen and saw his daddy lean over the sink. “Daddy?”

Aaron turned his head and tried to smile at Jack. Aaron knew he probably looked a mess. “Hey buddy. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Before Aaron could set down set down his water cup, Jack crawled up the seat and watched his dad over the counter. “What’s wrong, daddy?”

“I just can’t sleep,” Aaron shrugged, facing Jack with his arms crossed. “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

Jack looked at Aaron as if he had grown two heads. “You get up in the night a lot, daddy. And your eyes are red. You cough a lot too.“

Hotch wanted to laugh. Of course Jack knew something was wrong- he always knew. “Yeah. You’re right, kiddo.”

“You yell when you sleep sometimes too. What happened to y/n, daddy? She doesn’t come see me anymore.”

Aaron shuddered as he inhaled. Smart boy. “She got really hurt, buddy. It’s bad. I guess I just… get scared thinking about her getting hurt,” Aaron admits, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest.

Jack nodded. “Can we go see her?”

“I- I don’t think we should. She’s still getting better.”

Jack furrowd his eyebrows and tilted his head. “But I miss her.”

“I do t- I bet she misses you, too, Jack, but I don’t know how she’s doing. She might still-“

Jack sighed. “But daddy, she’d be so happy to see me!”

Aaron sighed. As much as he selfishly wanted to see you, he couldn’t. He’d do something he wasn’t proud of- embarrass himself, ruin his reputation of being a mentally and emotionally tough boss, ruin your friendship… No. Aaron couldn’t go by himself, but Jack could go with him. Why hadn’t Aaron thought of it before?

“Okay,” Aaron relented. A smile tugged at his lips when Jack’s face lit up. He scrambled off his chair and collided into Aaron’s legs and squeezed.

“Can I sleep with you tonight, daddy? Aunt Jess always stays with me when I have a nightmare.”

Aaron bent down and picked Jack up and nodded. “Yeah, buddy. Let me brush my teeth again.”

Jack wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck and squeezed, as big of a hug his little body could give.

— 🔥

The days were all a blur for you. Now that you were all fucked up, nothing felt right anymore. Second defree burns crawled up the calf of your left leg. Small cuts littered your entire body, scarring and twisting your skin. The worst part was the long, twisting scar that started on your cheek about two inches away from your ear and pulled down to your collarbone.

The unsub, Barney MacMillian, was a sadist. A stupid fucking sadist. He thought he was punishing you for hunting him when he kidnapped and tortured you.

You know the team tried- they really really did try- to cheer you up, to get you back. But the fact that you now considered yourself a monster and how you started to believe the things MacMillian had whispered in your ear as he tore you apart, layer by layer.

Derek genuinely thought your scar was badass, but learned not to bring it up. Penelope just kept rehashing everything- something you had eventually told her to atop doing. Prentiss was cautious, testing the waters. But she eventually got back into a rhythm with you as your best friend. JJ didn’t do anything wrong, she was just really nice- too nice? Spencer was… himself. And you couldn’t thank him enough for just staying him, recitinf facts about burns and scars, knives and blood loss. It was morbid, sure, but you were always close with him and the way his brain worked.

Rossi was the one that kept you together through it all, though. He had conversations with you, long past visiting hours. He talked with you about anything and everything and somehow knew exactly what you needed to hear or talk about. But he kept making excuses for Aaron.

Aaron. The romantic feelings you kept trying to flush away turned into hurt every time Rossi’s eyes flickered away from yours when you asked about him. But you knew now. He didn’t care. He never would. That’s why he didn’t show. It’s the only plausible explanation of why he wouldn’t show up, shoot you a text, something.

So you turned your hurt into anger and stopped asking, ignoring the way your heart would drop to your stomach and how the acid in your stomach churned eveey time you heard his name.

You already had your resignation documenta stored neatly in a magazine in the second table in the nightstand to your right. You were done with it all.

— 🔥

That’s why you felt tears prick in your eyes when you saw Jack Hotchner leap into the room. His little eyes scoured your face, eyes dragging down the healing skin on your face. You heard Aaron’s footfalls stop short at the door. Your jaw clenched and you stared at Jack, waiting for him to start crying and ask to leave.

But he didn’t. He just smiled and leapt into your arms, completely unaware of the physical pain in your leg and body. He just wrapped his arms and legs around you.

You sat still, eyes looking at Rossi, who smiled at you. You hadn’t yet looked at Aaron and didn’t even want to. Carefully you wrapped your arms around Jack’s back, ignoring how fast the tears left your eyes.

Jack pulled back and looked at you with a smile that faded the second he saw your tears. In all of your time (almost 10 years) at the BAU, Jack had only seen you cry once. And that was during a movie. 

“I thought coming to see you what make you happy,” he sad, voice sad. “Why are you crying?”

You smiled at him, sniffling pitifully. “I’m not sad, little J. I am really happy to see you,” you said. You hoped Aaron would hear the sharp undertone in your voice. Judging by Rossi’s huff of a laugh, he did.

��Oh! Well, I brought you stuff. I know you like the Black Widow because she’s really cool, so I brought you a coloring book,” Jack explained as he brandished his backpack full of stuff. You listensed intently, only looking up when Rossi got your attention and nodded to the door to signal him leaving.

Jack kept talking and you were overjoyed to listen. He was a pleasent little man, making your time more enjoyable. He opened up the coloring book he bought and started coloring after giving you a Beanie Baby he had that you mentioned you liked. He also got you a necklace- that Aaron no doubt spent a pretty penny for- that had your birthstone set in it. Jack watched you carefully as you opened it, and he put it on with his chubby fingers. You didn’t tell him that you would have to take it off soon after he left so it didn’t kill you when you slept. Hospital policy or something.

Soon after you finished your own coloring page featuring the Black Widow and Tony Stark making a hero landing, Jack turned on the T.V. and fell asleep.

“Hey,” Aaron said finally.

You nodded. “Hi boss.”

Aaron bit his lip. You stared forward, hand threading through Jack’s hair. Aaron felt his heart clenching in his chest. He didn’t know how you were gonna react when he came by, but he didn’t expect this- this silent treatment. He didn’t really blame you though. He wanted more than anything to make it up to you, to get you smiling again, but he knew the distance was probably better. For him at least.

“Y/n-“ Aaron started.”

You cut him off with. “Jack’s asleep, sir. It would be best not to wake him.”

Sir. You only called him sir if you were mad. Aaron swallowed. He knew he fucked up. Would he ever be able to fix his mistake, bring the old you back? He pondered the questions as he leaned back in his chair and watched the television show Jack chose before he fell asleep.

— 🔥

“Y/n is getting sent home today,” David’s voice crackled through the phone. “We wanted to take her out to dinner, something nice. Are you coming?”

Aaron sat at the kitchen table, checking over Jack’s homework. Jack himself was sitting a couple feet away on the couch. “Probably not. I have Jack.” 

Rossi scoffed on the other line. “She loves Jack and he loves her. Bring him with you.”

“I don’t know,” Aaron sighed. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes. “Dave, she hates me.”

Silence. Rossi exhaled and shook his head. “She doesn’t hate you, but you’re giving her a lot of reasons to. Clean yourself up and meet us all at the address Garcia’ll send you. 6:00. Be there, Aaron. If not for her…” he trailed off, considering his next words carefully. “Then for Jack.”

— 🔥

David convinced you all to wait until ordering.

But when 6:45 rolled around and Aaron didn’t show, you just clenched your jaw and ordered a neat whiskey.

[axelsagewrites]

Hey, how are you? Do you accept request for Otto Hightower?

I wanted something for "marrying Otto Hightower and being the younger sister of the late Queen Aemma Targaryen." Aemma's sister came to court her lost, however, things go wrong and Aemma ends up passing away and her baby also dies hours later. Otto Hightower, widower, hand of the King, with no heir (here, Otto and his first wife had no children, so Alicent was not born yet) and with the stain of his wife's terrible reputation hanging over him, Otto needs a second wife. What happens when he finds himself attracted to the late queen's sister?

Come on, it's supposed to be something light, where Otto doesn't have all that sick ambition to see his blood burning on the throne and having true friendship and loyalty towards Viserys and, of course, having sincere devotion and love for his dear wife. I hope this request reaches you well ❤️ (If I made you uncomfortable, let me know, i'm sorry)

Otto Hightower*My Honour

Pairing: otto x targ!f!reader

Word count: 1628

Warnings: mentions Aemma and her sons death, grief, praying to cope, angst

A/n: alicent doesnt exist in this one

Often times you wondered if staying in kings landing was worth it. it was here you lost your sister and nephew not to mention all the previous children she had to mourn and never hold. You had come a week prior to her labour and eventual death to help but after you felt useless. Perhaps if Rhanerya had not begged you to stay you would have left these haunted halls. After all she was only eight when her mother died.

It was hard to even walk through the halls most days. Every stone, every path, every flower a reminder of her. the sting only grew deeper when Baelon died. A son, an heir, all for what?

You could see the grief etched into Viserys’ face but that did little to comfort you. It was hard to even look at the man you previously considered like a brother. most days the only one you spoke to was Rhanerya.

If people said hello in the halls, you bowed your head and smiled and walked on. When they approached with sympathies during dinners you did the same. Very few words escaped your lips especially since each greeting was met with a sorry look from the lords and ladies who didn’t even truly know your sister enough to mourn her. You weren’t the only one to have suffered a loss recently, however.

On your near daily trips to the sept to pray for your sister, nephew, and niece, you would see Otto Hightower deep in thought. He’d come to Kings Landing with his wife a few years ago to serve Viserys however she had died only weeks earlier.

You’d met her only once and while she was kind enough, she was not the typical wife of a lord.  She tended to walk a fine line of what was acceptable at court and if the rumours and what daemon himself had told you see it was rare that her husband was the one to share her bed.

The marriage had been arranged, like they all are. You understood his position. You had tried to love your first husband though you did not cry when he fell out the moon door during a joust. Still, you mourned like Otto did. Now even more so.

This morning was like all others. You ate with Rhanerya, helped ready her for her lessons, then walked to the sept. however, as you walked something different happened. “Good morning my lady,” Otto greeted as he caught up behind you.

You jumped a little having not heard his soft footsteps. “My lord, sorry I did not see you,”

“It is quite alright. The fault is mine,” he gave a tight-lipped smile you’d seen a few times from him. “Good day my lady,”

Otto went to increase his pace, assuming your silence was a want for absence, but you found yourself no longer able to be quiet, “My lord,” you called. Otto paused, turning to listen, “Would you care to walk to the sept with me this morning?”

A small smile quirked on his lips, “It would be a joy my lady,”

Each morning from then he would join you on your way to and from the sept. at first no words were spoken. Then only a few. Never about death though. It was refreshing as selfish as it sounded. A time when you didn’t have to think of those you lost. Soon it was hard to end the conversation.

“You must ride on the back of her one time. You’ll get to see all the fun,” you laughed after recounting a story of your dragon’s adventures.

Otto laughed but you could see a little green in his skin, “No I think my feet shall remain firmly on the ground, but your offer is very kind my lady,”

As you arrived the sept a small smile found its way on your lips, “You don’t have to call me that. I have a name you know?”

“Really?” he teased, “I must’ve forgotten it,” you rolled your eyes, feigning shock and ignorance as you told him your name like it was a scandal, “What a beautiful name. much better than a name like Otto,”

“You’re so right. Only a cruel person would name their son Otto,” you teased before quickly hiding your smiles when the septas walked out.

As you were both leaving the sept Otto was inspired by your previous affection to return the same, “It may not be as exciting as a dragon but perhaps you would like to join me one night for dinner?”

You stayed silent for a moment as you walked and Otto could feel the sweat gathering on his forehead, “Would this be one of your dinners with the king and other lords or a private affair?”

“Which ever you preferred,” he said, swallowing hard.

A small smile on your lips put him at ease, “I’m free tonight,”

Soon you were laughing in the halls again. Stopping to talk to people again. Having conversations again. Viserys took joy in this, glad to finally see you back to your previous state. Though he could not help being sceptical of Otto.

He trusted him with his life, but he did not know if he could trust him with yours, “Have you seen much of my wife’s sister of late?” he asked one night after all the other lords had left the high council meeting.

Otto swallowed the lump in his throat, “No more than usual. Why my king?”

“No reason. Her condition seems much improved as of late,” he mused, watching his friend’s reaction carefully.

“Grief is a wild beast,” Otto said, revealing as little as he could.

Viserys however needed to know more, “My wife made me swear when we married. ‘if we become family then mine becomes yours and yours becomes mine’. Ever since I’ve seen her as a sister figure of sorts.”

“You’re very kind to her your grace,” Otto shifted in his chair.

Viserys sat back in his, “I’ve had a few lords ask me about her hand since her fathers and husbands passing you know?” Otto went stiff, “all arrogant, obnoxious lords, Aemma didn’t even like when she was alive,”

“She was always a good judge of character,”

“I like to think I am as well,” Otto went to speak but Viserys didn’t stop talking, “I imagine the offers will stop when the rumours spread further,”

“What rumours- “

“Please Otto I am not blind!” Viserys almost barked making Otto go still, “if your attentions are anything but pure, if you think you can use her as something to breed-“ Viserys tirade went on though if anyone else was in the room you’d see his guilt was wrapped in the speech, “then you have lost your mind. She is not something for me to sell, I wont do it, I wont let history repeat. So Otto I swear to whatever gods may exist don’t think I will not replace you,”

The room went eerily silent and was only broken after Otto painfully cleared his throat, “I would like an heir yes however,” he spoke up quickly when he saw Viserys face harden, “However it is not my main desire. I wish to marry, marry someone I care deeply for, someone who I picked and who picked me in return, and to have a child, a child as beautiful as your own daughter who I could bond with like you have. I wish for a family Viserys but only with her. and if she does not want me then I shall leave her be. I don’t wish to cause more harm,”

The hardness washed off the kings face, “If she does not want you? Have you not been courting her?”

“Not officially your grace. The topic it hasn’t came up,”

“What do you even do?”

“We talk,”

“Talk?”

“Yes. Talk,” he said, shuffling forward to gossip like they did when they were younger, “about anything and everything. About the flowers in the gardens and historical figures. Or the moon the night before or the sunrise that morning. We talk and talk and the conversation never dries up. She is charming and witty and more brilliant than any man- any person I’ve ever met,”

Viserys sat silently for a few moments, “You love her?” his words made Otto pause.

“I do. Even if she does not love me,”

“Then I think its about time you find out if she does,”

The walk around the castle gardens was only made better by Otto’s company. He listened as you told him about Rhanerya’s improvement in needle work and what you’d seen on your recent flights. However, his mind seemed to be wondering with each word. “Are you alright my lord?”

Your words snapped him from his thoughts and his mouth had never felt dryer, “May I ask you a question my lady?”

“You just did,” you teased, something he’d usually roll his eyes at, “but I will allow another,”

You expected a joust back but instead he took a deep breath making you pause in your tracks, “I was wondering if you’d attend the king’s birthday celebration with me?”

“I already told you I was going?” you said, head tilted to the side in confusion.

Otto took another deep breath. There was no going back, “I’m not asking if you are going. I’m asking if when we both attend, we attend together. As a couple if you will,” he stayed silent waiting for your response.

The blank look on your face made him panic but a small smirk slowly crept on your face, “Are you asking to court me lord Otto Hightower?”

“I suppose I am,” the smile returned to his lips.

“Then it would be my honour,”

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[bdsmrist]

gonna get a bit personal here, but as an actor it hurts me to see how ppl misinterpret a character as layered and nuanced as kim

now u might be wondering: girl wtf does being an actor have to do w lieutenant kitsuragi. well, i believe it to be the case that actors are storytellers. its our job to write in our characters studies what isnt in the script, to fill in the gaps, and portray that to the best of our abilities.

while in school, my professor’s always emphasized that as an actor, 100% of the time its more interesting when your characters motivations are rooted in love, rather than resentment. and i feel like too often i see ppl understand kim’s motivations be fueled by a desire to reject, protect himself, and detach himself from a world he resents.

now; thats not to say that isn’t entirely true. after all it is what the canon tells us explicitly: that he gave up on moralism, religion, etc, because he again and again was disappointed by the reality of elysium. therefore, that must mean that from there on out kim was a lost soul, that when coming to contact with harry’s spark, it lit his ambitions once more

and yes, to an extent, thats true, but its not the whole truth. to imply otherwise is very derivative. one of the things that makes kim such a compelling character is how he never stopped loving the world around him, *before* meeting harry. and even tho he limits how much he allows himself to indulge in it, it still bleeds through the cracks. hence, when he meets harry, he pours his devotion into the case, and in turn, into harry, without even knowing the guy

would a detached character have the patience and compassion he has for harry on day one? absolutely not. the man is borderline coddling to harry despite it all. and you can hear it in the performance!

jullian champenois’ voice is characterized by its mellow, soothing quality. hes gentle about it! and the actor made that choice for a reason! kim is a gentle person! he stands his ground, he sets boundaries, keeps u in course, and is nothing of a pushover. but regardless, his temperament is calm and reassuring. thats his function as a literary device! to contrast harry’s self-hatred and self-loathing with compassion and understanding!

think about it: would a character thats insistent on being a cold wall, sit on the swing-sets with harry for the pure purpose of just being there so harry doesnt have to confront that alone? if kim only wanted to keep people at an arms length, would he insist you two to be the ones to break the news to working class woman about her husband when ur at her doorstep? he said it himself; the precinct couldve handled it fine.

if kims actions were rooted in resentment towards an unfair world, would he be an instrument of justice for the rcm in the first place? kim, who verbatim despises the cops who become cops so they can use policing as an ego outlet?

kim kitsuragi cares. he cares very deeply, and i believe that the walls around him are a result of kim attempting to keep himself *in*, rather than keep others *out*. kim keeps HIMSELF on a short leash, because he knows that otherwise he’d go all in, just like harry.

harry and kim are at the opposite ends of the same spectrum of people that are too passionate for a world that does not reward such earnestness. therefore, harry copes with addiction, and kim copes with restrictions. regardless. its all comes back to love.

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

[the-s1lly-corner]

A bit of a specific idea, but I had a platonic idea for all of the characters in the Amazing Digital Circus—

Maybe all of them with a Wally Darling-like Reader? An example of such being Reader also speaking in a monotone voice that is both a little unsettling yet friendly at the same time, always making eye contact and never looking away, being able to eat things by blinking, being a lot more aware than they seem, greeting people individually anytime they enter a room, etc etc.

TADC cast x wally darling type! Reader !

Still stuck on mobile so this post may be a little short and whacky <\3 + I'll be relying on this ask for wallys personality since I cant open other tabs without risking deleting my progress on this <\3 + I've never touched welcome home 😭😭

CAINE:

Honestly, I don't know anything about welcome home as stated above, but I think Caine would have a lot of the same habits; namely the eye contact and I can also see him doing the blink eating...

The only difference is that hes way high energy

I think he would think that you're just a silly lil fella, an interesting little thang, wants to study you under a microscope..

Thinks its endearing how you greet everyone personally.. loves when you do it to him since it makes him feel special n appreciated

POMNI:

Overall pomni is going to need a lot of time to get used to the weirdness of the circus, and this applies to getting over the unnerving feeling she gets around you

Probably becomes speechless and does the face when you blink-eat

You know...

Just stares at where the food item once was... how did you do that...? What are you going to consume next? Why are you looking her in the eye like that?

..oh you're just telling her you enjoyed the snack you've brought

JAX:

As per usual I'm writing these all out of order, and I happen to be writing jax after I did zooble

I think jax wouldnt just think you're unsettling, I think he would think you're creepy

Now does he think you're a threat? Personally I don't think he would go as far as to classify you as such

Watches in horror as you blink and consume his sour gummy candies

Okay now this is war

You guys sometimes have unspoken staring contests, you usually tend to win them

Actually now that he thinks about it you dont seem to blink outside of eating...

RAGATHA:

"Oh, you're just a quirky lil fella!" Pretty much

Always thanks you when you greet her, she makes it a habit to greet you back when you enter a room

Tends to give you your favorite snacks, I think, but I think this can pass as a general hc rather than being specific to this post !

Little put off by the eye contact but does not turn away or show any discomfort; is able to push through it pretty well !

KINGER:

Okay so I know I mentioned some other characters being creeped out by the eye contact but I think kinger would be the most put off, asides gangle

But also I can totally see kinger having a staring problem; be it because hes lost in his thought and happens to be staring or some other thing

Accidental staring contests between you two/j

Feels like a real king when you personally greet him, probably bows a little and does a lil gesture with his hands before returning the greeting

Similar reaction as pomni when you blink-eat

Where did the food go??????

ZOOBLE:

I must admit, I think zooble would find you creepy, too <\3, or at least a little unsettling.. like sure they wont be mean to you unlike SOMEONE but they're a little put off by your odd behaviors

Though they would get accustomed to it in time, I think, especially since I have a whole "zooble ultimately doesnt care much about what's going as a means to cope w/ the digital circus as well as that just being their personality"

Does not like the eye contact, though; zooble seems like the type who wouldnt like eye contact... maybe I'm self projecting, though...

The eye contact definitely is what fed into the unsettling factor for them..

GANGLE:

The eye contact makes her so so nervous, she doesnt really have eyes the same way everyone else does but it still... makes her feel off

Similar to Caine she does feel nice when you greet her.. yes she knows out do it for everyone, but that doesnt dismiss the nice feeling she gets that someone is. Well being nice to her...

Shed like your voice, I think, oddly soothing and it's not too bold and out there.. not overwhelming, you know?

Not many ideas for gangle today <\3

[s-exy-sapphillean]

Finally coming back to Runaways AU posting. If the original concept interests you but you don't like where i'm taking it, please consider what i said here.

(There's a lot so i included a cut here to not make it fill up your dash too much)

Quick disclaimer: queerplatonic jeaneil is very dear to me. I do not ship them romantically. Their dynamic in this AU is fairly complicated and codependent and the presence of strong emotions & physical affection doesn't mean their bond is romantic. I of course can't stop anyone from interpreting it whichever way they choose but i'd rather people don't insist that what i'm writing must be romantic because that's how they read it.

So. Neil & Jean + Elodie on the run together..

Neil of course is the one to teach Jean and Elodie english. He's an okay teacher, good enough that they get by and they improve fast enough. Neil however is simply not aware of a couple of accented words and anglicisms in his own vocabulary, so the moreau siblings have some random british words in their vocabulary

Physical affection is complicated for the boys. They both initially only know touch as something practical or to hurt. They are touch starved. But elodie is a child who gives and craves physical affection freely, so the boys gradually grow more used to giving and receiving affection through touch. Sleeping curled together becomes a necessity to keep warm wherever they're camping out but they eventually do it even when not necessary because it is comforting to have the other right there

After his mother got got, before joining up with jean, neil felt kinda directionless & defeated because without his mother there to push for it 15 year old neil doesn't really see the point of running forever if the only possible end is eventual death. Then he meets jean & elodie, starts bonding with them & keeping them safe becomes his entire world. Like a "i'll get caught and killed eventually but as long as i'm alive i can at least make sure they're okay & will be fine when i'm gone" mentality because he doesnt understand that jean is equally as fucked if the butcher finds them.

They bicker a LOT, getting into verbal fights over a lot of small things. They are constantly stressed with no outlet except eachother. Neil for a long time is also just not coping well with witnessing elodie receiving such genuine love and care because it makes something in him burn with ugly jealousy. Jean for a while absolutely despises having to rely on essentially a stranger for so much when his own english is way too lacking to get around by himself.

As much as he doesn't cope well at all with his own jealousy and yearning for being cared for, neil does also become fiercely protective of elodie pretty quickly. If she gets to have what he can't have then she needs to be able to keep that and not become like him. His "one of us has to make it" mantra we know from canon becomes entirely focused on her.

They have pretended to be a couple a few times, simply because it is the easiest cover for why a teenager as clearly french as jean would be so close to some very clearly not french teenager

They kissed once or twice as like a "for the sake of the cover" thing, trying out if that works but unanimously decided it wouldn't. It just made neil feel queasy and uncomfortable and bisexual disaster jean is self aware enough to know that risking developing a hopeless onesided crush would be the worst in their situation

Little head kisses have kinda become a thing though. It's something jean did a lot to comfort elodie & once when neil was having a breakdown he did it to him while holding him and it helped so it just stuck

In millport their story is that jean & elodie's father had moved to the US with them for work and had been colleagues with neil's parents. When father moreau turned out to be abusive, neil's parents helped jean emancipate himself and gain custody of elodie, and helped them move away, letting neil go with them.

When they get to palmetto, most of the foxes do assume they're dating and the boys don't directly correct anyone out of worry it will raise too many eyebrows, so neil doesn't get to explain that he doesn't swing any direction until much later

[heademptie]

Thinking about Ghoap x Comms!Reader

(This is unedited ramblings at 10pm, this may end up being something, it may not)

(Also don't know if this is an actual job, but it makes sense to me that it would exist. But this is fanfiction so who cares)

Reader works for the military as well but their job is to monitor and transcribe communications during ops. Maybe they tried to be a soldier but got denied for some reason, maybe injury, maybe because they couldn't cope with directly taking lives or loosing them.

And readers been at it for a while, is good at thier job, keeps their head down, keeps what they hear to themself.

Reader is loyal, so they get a bit of leeway with their work. Gets assigned to monitor some of the 141's comms and becomes a detatched form of familiar with the team. They don't know who reader is, that they even exist, that most of their radio chatter is being heard by one person at a desk in a government building so far away.

Typically reader just zones out when working, purposefully trying to forget the confidential things they hear once they leave the building. But the 141 is... entertaining. The way they speak to each other with such familiarity and how they can make jokes without loosing sight of the mission, and how at the drop of the hat they hone in and get serious. They start to look forward to 'Price's paternal exasperation, 'Gaz's quick wit, 'Ghost's dry dad jokes, and 'Soap's cheeky comments. Occasionally they're graced with 'Laswell's easy verbal volleys with each member of the team. (Thinking about including Roach too)

And its obvious to reader, absurdly obvious, that Ghost and Soap are together. The thinly veiled, and the very not thinly veiled, flirting between the two is a giveaway. But what really sends it home is the panic. Reader was the one to transcribe the recoding from Las Almas. Right at the beginning, when Ghosts voice called out to Soap, he was calm in that call. But then Soap didnt answer. And reader heard the concealed panic when Ghost called out again, and they heard the relief when he did.

So reader figures out that they're together. Assumes as much. And takes a bit of joy from it. Takes some joy that people in such a brutal line of work have someone who understands and cares for them.

Maybe circumstances lead to reader needing to be saved. Or maybe they end up on base at the same time the 141 is there. And they run into the team some way. Readers smart, so they keep thier mouth shut about being privvy to their comms. Keeps to well known facts about the 141, the stuff soldiers outside of the team would know through reputation and minimal meetings.

Maybe they go out drinking, or maybe reader ends up bonding with the team some. They're all chilling somewhere together, and someone starts hitting on Soap and reader brushes it off. He's an attractive guy, charming too, its understandable. But Soap doesnt turn them down and reader looks over to Ghost who's watching the interaction too. And reader, without thinking says something about an open relationship. Ghost whips around on them in carefully concealed shock and asks them to repeat. Reader explains slowly, not yet realsing their error.

Its not until later, when Soap has left with the pretty thing who hit on him and Ghost had left quickly after readers comment, when Price is chuckling over his drink after reader has explained what they said, that they learn.

Ghost and Soap are not in fact in an open relationship. They are not even in any kind of relationship, romantic or sexual. And reader is shocked, if not a little disappointed, maybe even hurt. It's their own fault, really, they built up this false relationship between real people in their head only for it to remain in their head.

Later on, reader finds Ghost. Wanting to apologise for, stepping over the line? making the unsolicited comment? they're not entirely sure but they feel they should apologise anyway.

This is kinda where my thoughts end. I do have some I haven't mentioned but I don't know where to put them. Nor do I know exactly where this is going. Just some brain rot I've had.

[mha-quotes-and-such]

i just watched Inside Out 2 and it gave me an idea! (And I'm about to make it your problem)

So: if the League was responsible for someone's (probably not very mentally stable) mind, which emotion would each of them be? (It doesn't have to be an emotion from the film. Go wild if you want!)

Also, who would be in control the most? And is someone actually in charge?

So because I love to make things difficult for myself, I decided that they’ll not only have to be from the movies, but that each emotion can only be used once. That being said I think they’d be:

Joy - Magne. While Magne joined the League due to being discriminated and feeling out of place in society, I think shes the greatest example of someone who turned the League into a real home, and turned herself into someone she was proud of. She wanted to find a place where she could be herself, and find the confidence to be herself as well. And she did! She found that place and those people and found her own confidence and made her life something she could be happy with

Anxiety - Twice. Obviously a lot of his character is about being uncertain of himself and constantly being conflicted or contradicting himself. His general stance on himself is clearly a huge source of stress and anxiety for him, but also I think his jumpy/contradictory personality kind of embodies anxiety in a way

Ennui - Mr Compress. Alright I know this might seem kind of odd since hes Anything but the tired, bored, apathetic teen in Inside Out, but hear me out. He sorta acts as the counter to ennui. He doesnt really have a reason to be a villain other than he just. Wants to? He doesnt need to be dramatic or flamboyant but he Wants To. In a way, you say that he does find the world to be uninteresting or unappealing, and that on its own its not something he particular cares about. He acts the way he does because of that, he wants to make sure he doesn’t become bored and apathetic

Anger - Dabi. This ones pretty self explanatory I think. Hes angry at the world, at his family, at his life, at heroes, everything. His main motivation is that hes been wronged, and everyone deserves to pay for it. While a lot of the League are angry that they were wronged in some way, most of them have learned to cope with it in some way, or channel it into other goals and mindsets. Dabi never really learned to do this, and instead made his whole life a mission of revenge

Disgust - Mustard. He’s absolutely repulsed by heroes, especially those in training, seeing them as snobs who look down on others. He’s angry like Dabi, but in a way where social hierarchies play a lot into it. Maybe its just because hes a teen, but he reminds me a lot of stereotypical high school movies, where the dislike between kids is less focused on genuine injustices, and more on distain for social politics and a general sense of how much “better” you are than someone else. From what I remember of Disgust in Inside Out she had a similar vibe to her

Envy - Toga. While a lot of the league have a story about wanting something that others have (safety, friendship, self confidence, etc.) Toga is the one who acts on this the most, and in the most malicious ways. Her desire for other people or what they have is a main motivating force for her, and you can see that in the way she acts with other people, especially with how possessive she can be

Fear - Shigaraki. A lot of Shigaraki’s life has revolved around fear in some way. He started out as a timid child, scared of his family and later scared of himself. His fear was then taken advantage of by OfA, using it to mold him into the perfect prodigy in his teen/young adult years. As an adult, he serves as the face of the League, being a symbol of fear to the general public

Nostalgia - Kurogiri. While Kurogiri himself may not have any memories of his life pre-League, a lot of his story revolves around the past, and a life he can never go back to. Also the fact that Riley gets nostalgia later in life and Oboro became Kurogiri later as well matches up nicely I think

I couldn’t really think of anyone for sadness or embarrassment so. Whoops.

I think in typical League fashion, Shigaraki is in charge to an extent. At least if not in charge then he’s most prevalent. I think the person stuck with these assholes would be both a really worried person in general, constantly fearing that everyone is against them, but they would cope with that by trying to get others to fear them instead

[silentmoths]

Just some Single Dad! Zhongli x Kindergarten teacher Reader things

I dunno, it was a cute idea and I'm writing it on the fly because my eyeballs needed a break from star rail.

not proofred, Zhongli x reader (tried to keep the pronouns gn but forgive if i missed a few and like, xiao referrs to them as mama at one point)

sfw

Zhongli who had adopted a young Xiao from an unfortunate situation shortly after he loses Guizhong. Was it a coping mechanism? absolutely, but he wanted, no, needed, someone to care for, to put his time into.

He loves Xiao, kid's his whole world. It takes him a little longer to learn to talk, and even then, he's very shy, very much a velcro toddler. Zhongli doesn't mind.

He does start worrying however, when Xiao reaches age four and the boy shows no interest in socializing, he doesn't really know how to play, other than with his dad, and while li does his best, he's no child, he doesnt know what the kids are into these days.

That and, while he's worked from home pretty much all this time, he's also feeling the itch to return to the office, perhaps talk to people who weren't four, but he also doesn't know how well Xiao will adjust to going to kindergarten, but he doesnt want to leave his son high and dry when he inevitably has to start grade school.

So, eventually, after much anxiety, he bites the bullet and enrolls Xiao into the kindergarten closest to his office, that way if he doesn't take it well, he can quickly swing in and take him, it's not like Director Hu would ever turn the child away.

He explains what kindergarten is, and what to expect to xiao, and of course the boy is all brave, puffed chest and hardened face (sometimes Zhongli wonders if he's let the boy watch too much ninjago) and tells his papa he'll be fine, he's a big boy and he can handle it, he can handle anything!!

yeah thats a fat load of crap, the boy is an absolute sobbing mess the next day at drop off.

to be fair, it's also a very near thing for Zhongli. he's not been without Xiao for an extended period since he adopted the boy four years ago, they've always been together, and seeing his son cry like that is almost too much to bear.

That is until someone kneels beside his son with a soft handkerchief with a little duck embroidered in the corner. they coo and gently dabs away Xiao's tears with a soft smile.

"oh dear...you must be Xiao." they greet softly, taking one of his little hands in their own and giving it a little shake. "I know new places can be scary, but it's ok. you trust your papa, dont you?" Zhongli is prepared to step in, to tell them that Xiao doesn't really talk much, but his son surprises him.

"U-uh-huh..." he wibbles, letting this newcomer dry his eyes.

"Well, you know your papa would never leave you somewhere he didn't think you'd like, right?"

"mhm..."

Zhongli watches as you smile, and he feels the shock settling into his chest. He knew you were certified in early childhood...but no one, not even the best paediatricians had managed to get a sound out of Xiao.

"Papa wont be very far away, how's about this...if you really really don't like it here today, papa is only a phone call away, he can always come and get you, yeah?"

Xiao turns his watery yellow eyes up to Him and Zhongli smiles, easily scooping the boy up when he raises his arms. "They're right little dove, I won't be far, and I promise to come get you if you are unhappy, if you can try to give it a try?" He murmurs.

Xiao, to his credit, sniffles and gives his papa a small nod, he's rewarded with a tight squeeze and a kiss to his forehead.

"that's my boy. Try to have some fun, hm? there's lots of toys for you to play with..."

"Mhm..."

Xiao surprises him yet again, when the teacher stands, he turns and stretches his arms out to them, never in all his years has Zhongli seen his child do that either.

To their credit, they take him with ease, settling him into the crook of one arm with a soft croon before looking to Zhongli with a smile.

"and you must be Zhongli? It's a pleasure to meet you." you greet, holding out your hand for him to shake. "It's quite normal for little ones to have the first day blues, I'm sure after morning snack he'll be just fine."

Zhongli can't help but smile, he had a feeling Xiao would be just fine.

-

It only takes a week before it's Xiao who's waiting by the front door, bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for him to unlock the car so they can go.

He hasn't stopped talking about school, about his new friends and of course his teacher. Zhongli has never felt so relieved to know that his son is adjusting quite well.

He runs into the room to greet you with a smile and a hug to the leg, seemingly only just remembering to turn and give his papa a hug and a kiss.

"Have a good day at work, Papa!" he coos happily as Zhongli picks him up for their usual farewell cuddle.

"And you too, little dove." his response comes easy as he puts his son down and watches him gallavant over to his little group of friends.

"And to think a week ago he was crying his little eyes out." you chuckle, Zhongli hums and nods before remembering he had something to mention.

"Ah, there is a chance I might be a little later to pick him up than usual, It will be before the centre closes, but I figured I'd give you some warning lest Xiao worry."

"Oh, no problem! even if you think you might be later than close, just call the centre before hand! I'll make sure he's safe." you smile at him, and he feels another sense of relief wash over him.

He does end up running late, much later than he'd expected. Adding in traffic, he knew the centre would be closed by the time he made it, and he'd called ahead.

He comes rushing into the room, full apology at the ready, and assurance that any acrewed late fee's would of course be paid in full without complaint but stops dead at the sight before him.

Xiao, asleep, on your shoulder as you hum a soft tune. He can tell his son had been crying by the redness of his cheeks, he must have been a bit anxious because of his lateness.

You spot him in the doorway and smile, slowly ceasing your song as you effortlessly grab Xiao's bag from his cubby, and a drawing from the art rack with practiced ease.

"How was he?" he whispers as he hooks Xiao's bag over his shoulder.

"An angel as always." you whisper back, attempting to pass Xiao to him, but you're stopped when she little boy whines in his sleep, burying his face into the crook of your neck with a content huff, little hands clenched into the collar of your shirt tightly. "Oh...seem's he's comfortable..."

"And he'll be cranky if you pull him away too soon." Zhongli sighs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, perhaps it was his fault for indulging the little boy's need to be close, but who could really say no to that face?

"hm...ok, gimme a sec." you chuckle, shifting to hold Xiao in one arm as you quickly glide through the classroom, picking up stray toys and nudging little chairs back in beneath their tables with your foot, hitting lightswitches and locking doors with such ease that it leaves Zhongli impressed.

It all culminates with you both (plus xiao, still napping away) in the parking lot, everyone else was already long gone, and Zhongli finally bows his head to you.

"My most sincere apologies for being so late, I'll make sure the late fee is included-"

"Oh, no no, it's fine Mr. Zhongli." You wave him off "It was an honest mistake, and honestly, Xiao is such an angel, It's really no trouble. heck, before he started worrying, he was helping me clean up." you explain with a small smile, hand rubbing small circles into the child's back "You have a wonderful little boy, Mr. Zhongli, you've done an amazing job."

Zhongli blinks.

Perhaps it was just a combination of his stressing about being late, his anxiety about leaving his son to return to work, and everything else.

but that was also the first time someone had actually said those words.

He'd done a good job.

He'd raised a good kid.

He hadn't fucked up.

"M-Mr. Zhongli?" he hears you ask in a panic as he comes back to himself, he see's your wide eyes, worried as your free hand digs around in your jeans pocket, pulling out yet another handkerchief with an embroidered duck in the corner. "Are you alright? did I say something wrong?"

Only now does he realize he's crying like a damned fool.

"a-ah. my apologies" he mumbles, taking your handkerchief to be polite and drying his eyes "It's just...it's been a turbulent week."

Your face softens a little as you lean against the hood of your car. "First time leaving him?" you ask, he nods.

"I've not been without him since I adopted him..." He admits "And I was so worried he wouldn't take to school, or children his age..."

"He's doing wonderfully." you reassure "he's respectful and attentive, sometimes he can be a little bit of a tattle tail but he's thriving."

Zhongli chuckles, somehow he can see his boy, chest all puffed out, telling off other children for breaking the rules "That's...good to hear."

"Oh, hey Xiao...guess who's here?" He hears you mumble as Xiao finally shifts in your arms. Slowly Xiao turns his sleepy eyes to Zhongli and his soft little frown eases a little at the familiar sight. "See? told you the mean cars were just making papa a little late."

Xiao goes easy when you finally move to hand him back, snuggling right into Zhongli's shoulder with a content murmur.

"Thank you so much again for watching him after hours." He sighs "please, if there is anything I can ever do, let me know."

"oh you." you chuckle as you reach for your keys "Like i said, he's an angel, and it was only, what, fifteen minutes? I'm sure I'll survive." you joke with him before tilting your head to smile as Xiao. "Bye bye Xiao, I'll see you on monday, yeah?"

"mmh...bye momma..." the little boy mumbles, already half asleep.

Zhongli can feel the way his cheeks heat, and he can see the way yours flush a rather pretty shade of pink before you laugh, trying to wave it off.

"o-oh that happens more often than you'd think!" you chuckle as you unlock the door. "H-have a pleasant evening, Mr. Zhongli."

Zhongli feels like a deer in the headlights. It was a simple mistake on his son's part, he probably just wasn't used to the concept of 'teachers' yet.

but even so.

"Same to you." he mumbles stiffly, bowinf his head once more before he turns and makes back towards his shiny black sedan, anu excuse to hide his red face.

As he's carefully clipping Xiao into his booster seat, the drawing you'd grabbed from the rack slips out of his bag, teetering on Zhongli's shoulder, and his face goes even redder.

Seems he might need to have a talk with his son, if the crude stick figure drawing of Him and His teacher holding hands, with Xiao holding Zhongli's other hand, was any indicator.

and yet, he cannot help but notice, that it was definitely your handwriting attatched to the little arrows pointing to each stick figure, meaning you too had seen this picture.

Zhongli quietly wonders what that might mean as he climbs into the drivers seat.

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo @angel-of-requiem Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

[tigerdrop]

Hi I pre-ordered the keychain and I'm very excited for it!! I wanted to know how you think it would go if Bill and Ford were to reunite at some point post Weirdmageddon, Bill is still incredibly obsessed with Ford (and likely that will never change), but Ford is angry at him because of the past, do you think they could work something out?

oh i absolutely do. i was just thinking about this the other day.......sure it would be healthier for both of them to cope and move on, but would it be more fun?? NO!!!!!!!!

i can make it work. im going to write this eventually but right now im working on a fic about the first time bill and ford hook up. but i can make it work

consider bill taking a lot of misguided lessons from his therapy sessions and thinking "well clearly the way to fix all of this and get sixer back is to go back in time and redo everything. but better this time". envision this going haywire in every way you would expect going back in time to fix things to do

even funnier if bill decides hes going to break out of the theraprism to do this. he Did not learn a fucking thing other than "if you are mean to somebody they might not like you anymore". mission accomplished

i think he could fuck things up so bad with time travel bullshit . it would be so funny. we all saw the fucking time travel episode, ok, now imagine something like that except with bill desperately trying to interrupt the timeline to show sixer that hes got Emotional Intelligence now, he did therapy, he made collages and lumpy clay hearts that he DIDNT smash into goop, and hes Better than the bill ford knew when he was younger. it would be so embarrassing to watch

my vision is that bill makes such a huge fucking mess of the timeline and of their dimension and it causes so many problems for so many people and they are all So mad at him. except, weirdly enough, for ford

the guys on trial for time crimes and the only one willing to say a nice thing about him is his dipshit ex with an ego bigger than god. because he actually feels touched that bill did all of this stuff just for him. and bill apologized, even if he doesnt fully understand the purpose of "apologies" or "contrition"

it hits ford square in the emotional intersection of "i never stopped thinking about bill even though he fucked me over and i never want to see him again" and "bill would cause this much trouble and this much chaos out of a misguided attempt to patch things up". he actually cares!!!

and its cartoons. its not like bill has to go to fucking time jail if i dont want him to. ford can abruptly interrupt to defend him out of nowhere while every single member of his family thinks he has lost his mind. the power of love (and time community service) can get him out of it. And it can work

ford never stopped being easy to flatter and having a god move heaven and earth just to make him happier is like the biggest ego boost known to man. so even if hes still hurt over everything i dont think he could resist feeling that special. that powerful

but now hes older and smarter and he doesnt have anything to offer bill. and bill doesnt have anything he wants anymore. except, you know. company

so i think ford is easily stupid enough to have one last pity date that turns into a second and a third and so on. its not like everything is fixed but bill showed that he was actually capable of emotional growth. he Did change. just for some dumbass human. which is crazayyyyyy

(and now at least 7 different people/creatures/entities would explode bill into 1 million pieces if he throws another fucking tantrum. and fords got that aluminum plate in his head......hes the one in control now. bill cant do anything except, maybe, break fords heart. which would also make everybody explode him)

everybody hates that bill shows up to family functions now but what can you do. sometimes the interdimensional dream demon that possessed you and slammed your hands in drawers ends up dating your grunkle. Its basically the same as having a stepdad

and they could fuck about it. The end

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @dreatine - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

part two can be found here

Gone - Part One

When he wakes up, the first thing he thinks of you. Or rather, the lack of you. The empty space in the bed beside him, your side of the bed neatly made, an empty glass on your beside table which you filled up each night with water and took to bed with you, and tiny bits and bobs, like a random little elephant ornament you’d bought at a yard sale. Your wardrobe still had a gap in the middle where you’d chosen your outfit. Everything, exactly as you’d left it. Spencer’s side of the room was as organised as he could manage in this situation. His mental state was in an even worse mess, but he knew that would be fixed upon your return, and coming home to a tidy house would make you feel less guilty because it gave the illusion that Spencer had coped far better than you both knew he really had. Not that you should feel guilty about this, not at all, it wasnt your fault, but Spencer knew you. He knew you better than anyone.

His eyes refuse to look at the calendar, the same calendar that was here when you were. The calendar is 2 years out of date, but it doesnt matter, Spencer doesnt need it to know how long it’s been. There are post-it notes from you stuck to the fridge with magnets, which he’ll admit they werent originally. When you’d written them, there was enough adhesive left on them to stay on the fridge, but as the days turned into weeks and then months, they began to drift to the floor; the feathers of a bird that, like you, was nowhere in sight. That was the first sign Spencer couldnt ignore that told him time was passing. He had to pick them up off the floor with shaking hands and use magnets to stick them back where they belonged, exactly where you’d left them, not even a centimetre out of place.

Some of the notes were simple, sweet love notes from you to Spencer. You wrote them whenever he was away on a case, so that when he came home he could tell you were thinking of him, each one had a date and time stamp in the top right corner. Spencer would have kept up every note you’d ever written him, but then there’d be no room for the next time he was away. So every time the fridge door became full, you cleared them and started again with the next case. However, the nature of the notes changed later on. When you approached Spencer with a strange letter you’d received, everything shifted. Only one of the letters was addressed to you, after that every letter was written to Spencer, and each one became more threatening.

Upon the third letter, Spencer took you and the letters to the team, and together they attempted to track down the culprit. Well, the team did, while you stayed inside your guarded house and played video games, crocheted, wrote stories, anything you wanted. Every time Spencer glanced at you while working on the case, you would be smiling at whatever you were doing, happy even in such a scenario. Then again, it’s quite possible you werent taking the letters as seriously as Spencer. You werent an FBI agent, you were a pure, happy soul who was excited about everything in life. In turn, you were the light of Spencer’s. Were, he shakes his head frantically, dont talk about her in past tense, she isnt gone!

After three months and no more threats, the team concluded that their presence must have scared off whoever was stalking you. The stalker was projecting onto you, referring to you only as “Juliet”, so everyone hoped he had found somebody else to fill that role. With you deemed to be safe at home, Spencer went away on his first case in three months. The team had gone away on cases without him during that time, he had stayed home to protect you, just in case. You had essentially forced him to go that time, knowing how much he missed his job of saving lives. You had said he wasting time trying to save a life that was already safe. Spencer requested two guards stay around the house while he was gone, just as a last resort, and you reluctantly agreed.

That was when the notes changed. Spencer hadnt asked you to, but you made the decision to use them as a method of communication with future Spencer. Anything remotely suspicious, anything that put you on edge, you noted it down. You werent paranoid, just careful.

Every single day, Spencer reads those notes from you.

- same man I saw yesterday walked by the house again today. 5’8”, short black hair, sunglasses, not particularly fit. havent seen him in the neighbourhood before.

- didnt see him today, maybe he saw me watching from the window. told the guards about him, they said they’d keep an eye out.

- miss you, Spence.

It wasnt much information to go by, but it was the most he could gather. You had been texting him throughout the day too, but not alerting him of anything suspicious, because you knew he’d come straight home. He should have, he could have saved you. He would have.

That morning, you’d sent him a mirror selfie of you in your pyjamas with one of your countless blankets wrapped around your shoulders.

“Still safe and sound! Cozily awaiting your arrival!” The text below the picture had said, he remembers how much he smiled when he saw it. Tears fill his eyes when he sees that picture now.

There are so many times throughout the day when the vision of you walking around the house, or anywhere he is, in fact, using a blanket as a shawl and smiling at everything. You’re never facing him, and you’re always out of reach. But that’s the most he can get.

When Spencer arrived at the office after that case, the guards that were supposed to be at yours and Spencer’s home were waiting for him, and his blood ran cold.

“What happened?” He asked them immediately, not having the patience to give them a polite greeting first.

The pair of guards looked at each other nervously, fearing Spencer’s tone and stance because he was already so angry. They explained that at lunch and supper time every day, they let you know they were going to grab food, and they were always back within 20 minutes. During the 20 minutes they’d gone at supper time, you had disappeared.

“She was gone, Sir.”

Gone. Not gone, she can never be gone! The entire team drove to Spencer’s house and began examining the scene. The first thing Spencer did was go to the fridge, somehow knowing you would have left something helpful there. He memorised every word, every wobble in any sentence you’d written to let him know you were afraid or uncertain. Your blanket laid at the open front door, and the only prints found at the house were yours. The security cameras had been manually wiped, by you, and Spencer immediately knew you’d been forced to clear it all. He couldnt process anything, his mind had slowed to a level that wasnt even human, it certainly wasnt him. It was like finding out Maeve was missing, except so much worse. You and Spencer had been together for years. You lived together, in this house, where a man had come and taken you. He left the house, needing you more than air and feeling claustrophobic from the lack of both. Derek followed him.

“Kid, we’ll find her, I swear to you.” He told him.

“I was going to propose.” Spencer’s chin wobbled, unable to face Derek as he felt the weight of the ring box in his pocket.

The week before the first threatening letter had arrived, you and Spencer had been walking home from a dinner date, having a very normal, cheerful conversation.

“What do you wanna do when we get home?” You’d asked him, holding onto his arm and looking up at him with wonder in your eyes.

Spencer smiled. “I was thinking pyjamas, video games and ice cream.”

You threw our head back. “Oh, Doctor Spencer Reid, I could MARRY you! Talk dirty to me MORE!”

The two of you burst out laughing, but Spencer’s heart was fluttering. You could marry him? Marriage had been brought up before, but only in serious conversation, when the two of you discussed whether marriage is something you both wanted in the future. It was. But for whatever reason, Spencer had never thought he was lucky enough to be the one you wanted to marry. The day before the first threatening letter, he’d bought you an engagement ring. When the threats began, he promised himself, and mentally promised you, that once you were safe, he would ask you. He had carried it in his pocket every single day since, waiting for the right moment. He had been hyping himself up on the plane home, wanting to ask you the moment he saw you. And now you were gone.

Spencer’s desk is still stacked with information and leads on your case, leads that all went to dead ends. Every trail ran cold, every single one, and after six months, the case was closed. It had to be, the BAU couldnt stick to one case for so long when it was so hopeless. Some members of the team had to work cases during that time in small groups as the time of your absence grew, they’d hoped that they could keep that up while the rest of them worked on trying to find you, but it wasnt enough. The rest of the country needed them, but Spencer needed you.

Hotch had partially reassured Spencer when the case was initially closed.

“If the unsub’s intentions were violent, he wouldnt have cared about the two guards, he would have hurt them to get to her, but he didnt. There was no blood found in your home, he didnt use violence to get her to go with him. She’s still alive, Spencer, and the second something new comes up with this case, you know we will all help you find her.”

Although Aaron made sense in what he was saying, Spencer still suffered, of course he did. Having to work other cases knowing you were still missing, and coming home to a house without you...it was hell.

And in two years, not a single new lead had come up. The weight of the engagement ring that hangs on a chain around Spencer’s neck beneath his shirt weighs him down, but despite you never wearing it, it makes him feel like you are with him, at least a little. That’s the only connection he’s had with you in exactly two years. Today is the anniversary of your disappearance. He’s forced to professionally regard it as a disappearance because there was quite literally no evidence of somebody taking you, but everyone knew that was exactly what had happened. And when Spencer walks into the office to find the entire team waiting to embrace him, he knows that they’re all aware of what day it is, too.

He quietly thanks everyone and goes to his crowded desk, the framed photograph of you sending a stabbing pain through every shard of his shattered heart. A small envelope catches his eye, and he frowns. That wasnt there yesterday, it isnt part of his research. Spencer’s face relaxes when he realises it’s probably a letter from Kate or Emily, someone on the team who isnt here to physically hug Spencer on this devastating anniversary. He opens the envelope carelessly, pulling the letter out and being surprised to find it blank. Frowning again, he turns it over in his hand, and every fibre of his being freezes.

“Juliet is still here. Have you given up?”

[alstroemerian-dragon]

theres something that really bothers me about the way a lot of people talk about and write peko re: her place as fuyuhiko’s “tool,” especially when it comes to like. despair. and i feel like it stems from a few different places and one of those is definitely uh. distance from the source material. because. w. did we play the same game

like. the second trial is a lot of things. annoying. about the death of a character i dont really care about. kind of confusing. Very Sad At The End. but the one thing it shows beyond any shadow of a doubt is that peko Does Not Want To Be Fuyuhiko’s Tool. she leans into it a lot in that trial, past the stupid. serial killer shit. which is literally just desperation and quick thinking on her part (and non diagetically meant to parallel the first game but whatever). but she does that because it is the only option she thinks she has if she wants to keep fuyuhiko alive. because thats her ultimate goal, right? sure, she’s his tool. sure, theyre Badly and Unhealthily codependent. sure, she was basically groomed to stay at his side no matter what. but…

she also cares about him. genuinely. she loves him. for all that teenagers can properly conceive of love in all its forms, but she at least think she does. but she does truly care about him.

did anybody do her free time events other than me? genuine question. because i dont think someone who wants to ask the guy shes sworn to protect on a date would be content being just his tool. that sure sounds like someone who wants to be on equal footing with him.

like. look. say what you want about the anime. take it with a grain of salt. cherry pick what you like and toss the rest of it out. that sure is what i do!! but even if you do that, youve got to take the text of the game itself into account if you want to have any semblance of regular characterization, and the game makes it clear that she hates this!!! she doesnt want to be his tool! she will fight him on things if she has to! she will disobey him if she has to!!! thats the whole point of the trial!!!!! he told her to run and that he would take the fall and she told him no!!!!!!!!!

and you cant ignore the fact that the time between them starting at hope’s peak and the tragedy hitting the ground running was two whole years. people can change a lot in two years, especially teenagers, and especially high schoolers. idk how long its been since you were in high school (unless you currently are in which case. dear gd im so sorry. good luck) but your mental state in high school is so fucked. you have no idea who you are and neither does anybody else and can you even imagine the kinds of pressure the ultimates would have been under?? again, taking the anime with a grain of salt, but even if you go along with it and think the school was barely a school at all, the pressure from society, from family, from peers still has an impact. everyone was telling them who they were and that thats who they were going to be for the rest of their lives and i doubt ANY of them felt like it.

and even if you subscribe to the idea, like me, that their second year was a downward spiral because of junko’s presence and influence, they still needed somewhere to fall from. the idea that peko was uniquely comfortable being quiet and violent and doing whatever fuyuhiko wanted so she didnt need despair to be his tool is ridiculous. i see the argument of “well watching her friends fall into despair and spiral made her spiral in turn and grow numb to it and retreat into herself until she needed to become fuyuhiko’s tool again as a coping mechanism” but. buddy. That Is Despair.

sometimes i feel like the only person who thinks about despair complexly and maybe thats its own post because this ones too long already but. despair isnt just Being Brainwashed Into A Monster. ignore what the writers told you. okay? look at me. Look Into My Eyes. The Writers Are Fucking Idiots And Dont Know How To Write Good Drama With Genuine Stakes. despair as a nuanced concept is so much more horrifying. different post. sorry. peko.

if peko had not been pulled down by despair just like the rest of them she would have fought tooth and nail to keep fuyuhiko above it. she would have demanded he explain to her why he was doing what he was doing. and she would have told him no.

and of course heres where i get into the accusatory part because the other place a lot of this comes from is, and im sorry, an unwillingness to write complex or nuanced women. not pointing fingers, but reducing peko down into “fuyuhiko’s tool” and “she does whatever he says without question” completely destroys any minuscule amount of agency she has. shes a fucking person. yes, shes pixels on a screen. yes, shes a representation of tropes. but diagetically, within the fiction of the game, she is a human being, and if you want to write her, and not be puppeting around a gddamn cardboard cutout, you have to think of her as a person with agency who makes her own fucking choices. sometimes those choices are taken away from her. but they shouldnt be taken away by you.

[echotzzz]

“Elain should stop being annoying and accept Lucien already”

umm okay since when woman rejected or disliked a man… annoying??

Do Acotar fandom understand what it means to accept a mating bond??

It means you will bind yourself to that other person FOREVER. Be it your soul, body everything. He is yours and you are his. Like they cant get divorce or start a new life w someone else if that fail. This is not a simple bf/gf thing like this is a big deal, very permenant and forever once u accept. Its completely fine if you two ALREADY FALLEN IN LOVE and the mating bond is there to seal the deal. Like that’s romantic

But for Elain that never was the case. She has NO FEELINGS for Lucien. Her heart belongs to Graysan when her mating bond was revealed. And when she start to move on from him she develop feelings for Azriel along the process.

Like cant yall understand why she couldnt just “accept” Lucien.

“But she should give Lucien a chance”

this mentality or mind set really falls down to the mating bond and how the majority of the fandom sees the mating bond only from Lucien’s pov. Yeah he’s hurting not denying that and its sucks for him. But cant people sees this from Elain’s pov as well??

The place she came from there is no mating bond. She turned fae against her will and suddenly said to be some Fae’s mate whom she doesnt know anything about and whom she sees as the one who “betrayed her family” whether he’s guilty or not, but In her mind Lucien literally allied with the bad people that kidnapped her. Do you think Elain will ready to fall in love w him?? or attempts to open her heart for him??Like lets be real no bs if you’re in Elain postion will you see Lucien as this trustworthy, safe, worthy of her love kind of guy? I need people to be serious here coz Elain reaction to lucien made perfectly sense to me I dont know why people are so mad!! the first reaction of Elain to him were: “She cringed away from the coat, from him” .

Her being wary around him made sense to me and some people even went further to said Elain’s racist or a snob needs to bffr. Yall insane.

People would say it will be like feysand coz they also start in a bad place coz rhys is the ‘villain’ in book 1 but Feyre first word abt rhys was he’s the most beautiful man she ever seen. Theres ATTRACTION. AND HATE. which is good coz when there’s hate there’s PASSION and that could lead to FEELINGS.

and believe it or not Elain and Lucien did try spent time w e/o. Remember that tea time and in acofas?

And theyre being so polite to each other too. Elain is indifferent towards him. There is just awkwardness. Both Elain and Lucien has no interest in bridging the gap. Both cannot stand in e/o presence in a room more than 2 min (Lucien’s word not mine). Visiting Elain is not always in Lucien’s agenda when he’s in the night court. And thats canon per Acofas & Acosf. They’re just not into each other. You cannot tell me the reason Lucien even look at Elain is not because of the mating bond. Attraction and feelings cannot be forced full stop.

“Elain need to learn how to cope coz mating bond is her culture now”

She started gaining control of her life. Which readers expect that of her right?? to have a backbone? to be the narrator of her own FATE? RIGHT????

so why is it so shocking and oh so horrible for Elain to not want her mating bond? We see previous MCs rebel and protest to fight for their story but why drew a line for elain?

we accept her character development to be this independant woman who would not be coddled, some even want her to leave the Night Court to find her true self.

We want all the above for her EXCEPT her control over her love life. When it comes down to the person she should love, kiss and fuck, In that terms Elain should submit to the bond and just shut up??????

“Oh no how dare she reject her mate!! how dare she liked Azriel and not her mate!! the audacity, she’s so blind to his kindness, the jacket, the gloves, the pearl he gave her!! how dare she be so annoying and hurts his feeling. Elain GET IT TOGETHER HOE!!!%*\”

Cant yall see how irony this is?? What happened to attraction and feelings? Does that should be thrown out of the window?

Why is it a rocket science for Elain to actually like Azriel?? This fandom worship Azriel and want him to fuck them in their dreams (im not making this up). Why its ok for the readers to be attracted to Az but not Elain??

Its not rocket science its just this fandom already has this mindset about the mating bond and the perks of having a mate. Feysand and Nessian are what successful mate couple look like.

But we shouldnt be naive enough to believe that ALL MATING BOND ARE HEALTHY

Theres a lot of unhealthy mating bond mentioned briefly such as tamlin’s and Rhysand’s parents and a couple more from the Creacent City series.

Rhys said the mating bond is not a perfect system.

You can feel bad for Lucien. Thats fair. And it sucks to know that male has stronger mate instinct than the female. But what yall cant do is to put the blame on Elain. Both Elain and Lucien are the victim of the mating bond. The fault belong to the Mating Bond system and the Society that urge male to covet their female mate and have whatever it takes to make the bond work.

Wouldnt his fan wants him to find his own person who loves him for who he is? Thats literally what Lucien craves for. Acceptance. Atp Elain’s body language and reaction showed that she’s anything but accept him. And truly I dont see that will change anytime soon. SJM has spent 4 books and not any point we see Elain beginning to change her mind. Acosf literally showed that.

“If Elain will not end up with Lucien then why haven’t she properly reject him yet?”

This is not real life. Yeah!!! Elain’s happened to be a book character. And in books there are storytelling aspects and huge plot reveal. You cannot expect a huge moment in a character’s arc be done in any other people pov?

Like why people really want the news of Elain finally rejecting Lucien be in Nesta’s pov? Wheres the fun in that?? it didnt make any sense. Obv SJM is waiting for it to be in ELAIN’S BOOK whenever that will come out. So cant yall just wait?? Like pls just think for a sec.

“Elain doesnt deserve Lucien”

okayyyyyy…is that a dig at Elain? Coz like I said Lucien deserve someone who wants him for him and thats not Elain and vice versa.

“they should end up together coz they are mates”

Im sorry but mating bond will NEVER be the ultimate factor to fall in love with someone or SJM’s reason for her characters endgame. And certainly not for Elain who will marry for love. For all of grayson fault, Elain did truly loved him once.

Feyre doesnt love Rhys bcoz of the bond, but bcoz of love she agreed to bond w him.

…..

So to end this long post I would remind people that this is a romance story. Where the end game will be two people in love. So ATTRACTION and FEELINGS plays a huge role for the build up.

Also I highly think Lucien or the mating bond are not what Elain hates the most. I think she hate the fact that she has no say in this. That her choice are being taken away. And everyone around her expecting her to just accept the bond.

I genuinely dont have anything against people that actually ship elucien for their aesthetic and really hope for their endgame. Some people want Elain & Lucien to break the mating bond together to free themsleves of the fate that control their choices and along the way get to know e/o and developing feelings and so on. See!! this is a good story which doesnt diminish anyone’s character arc and certainly allow all characters to have a choice. “I love u for who u are and not because of the bond” Like with SJM masterful writing that could be pretty lit.

With that being said, I really side eyed and hate those who treat Elain as the devil incarnate for refusing Lucien and called her “shallow, dumb, indecisive, selfish” follow with “she will see her mistake, she will beg forgiveness, she will realise that she’s so blind to the-” oh no no no

Her feelings are valid. Refusing Lucien has been put as one of her flaws or why she should be hated is SO CRAZY to me. Yall dont want people to coddles her or treat her like a child so then…pls start accepting her words as it is. Dont try to twist it or double it down. If she says she’s part of the night court, then she’s part of the night court. If she says she doesnt owe Lucien anything, that means she doesnt owe him shit.

[kijosakka]

got possessed and decided i must make a post about noahs character arc in dramaturgy Immediately

ok,, so the gist is friends. this is the Give Noah Friends Arc. he starts with no friends and then he gets some.

and he also gets some character flaws. for fun. dont worry he grows he develops,, umm so noah [in this AU] as a Character is very deeply rooted in two things: his defense/coping mechanisms, and his background in the industry.

to cover: his defense/coping mechanisms. they are. Bad. his primary defense throughout the show is his nonsubstance itself — but beyond that, the way he intentionally makes himself unpalatable. he makes jokes and seemingly mean-spirited quips at peoples expense and that would be innocuous if it wasnt all he was. but he very intentionally doesnt have character beyond that.

its like advanced self isolation (and regular self isolation when he refuses to interact with anyone after he gets eliminated and generally when hes off camera). additionally (to bring in themes from my original two posts) he creates a severe disconnect between noah The Person and noah The Character and it seeps through to his perception of his castmates as well.

^ this ties back into his Industry past, which,,, kinda fucked him up?? its not like its a normal developmental setting and it shows when hes being noah The Person. he doesnt really know who he is in normal settings; hes so firm in his identity within the industry and his role in it, but in Real Life, Teenage settings? clueless. has no idea what hes doing.

his severe disconnect of person and character also affects the way he sets boundaries, which is to say, hes really fucking bad at it. entertainment industries are Sketchy As Hell, and he kept his head afloat by navigating the system and working within it, but never learned to set clear-cut, do-not-cross boundaries in his relationships as a result (smth smth setting those limits were ‘taboo’ within the industry and could limit the work you got or how many people were willing to reach out)

< tacking onto that parentheses thing, hes also wildly unfamiliar with non-transactional relationships (in this way, him and alejandro are very similar). hes grown up seeing these people around him play nice for the strict purpose of give-and-take and has very few examples for things that are not that. he constantly struggles with understanding that he doesnt have to ‘repay’ things or ‘give’ something to be treated fairly.

(also smth to be said about his ‘keep everyone away’ thing where he silently thinks that even beyond the cameras if he tried to form relationships on the show he would be treated poorly/‘trampled on’ because his nonsubstance wouldnt allow him to ‘give back’ in a way that would make those people see him as worth treating fairly.

his castmates are effectively part of the industry now, why wouldnt they treat him like hes always been taught the people in the industry would?)

^ and again, it seeps through to his perceptions. to things like the love triangle, or sierras obsessive behavior towards cody; noah has trouble understanding why people like courtney would be distraught at it, because to him he can only see it in a transactional light (amplified by it being an on-camera relationship eventually turned plot point). similarly, it takes him A While to properly understand codys distress because to him it seems like sierras giving and he should just ‘return something’ to make them even (not really hitting him that he cant ‘return’ feelings like that).

which brings be further into his overarching Arc. you know, the character one. kicked off initially by wanting to unmask alejandro as a patent fake, he gets his development in other areas too --- like finally getting some real-world experiences with kids his age instead of studio execs three decades his seniors.

it gives him proper, real point of reference as to what matters to his peers beyond a clinical sense and observation --- in short, he learns to better understand the castmates around him beyond what the industry exploits them for, and in doing so he develops past his initial stunted-ness.

< and that in turn helps him learn past his slightly (very) fucked up headspace and perception that his childhood environment created.

(and to slot in now, noahs character in the AU is perfect for consistent themes of internal conflict. how he initially builds up relationships, conflict. struggling on whether to keep the act or expose alejandro, conflict. being hyperaware of both the audience and cast perceptions of him, conflict. realizing his battle has become two-sided and alejandro and thus the cast/audience is catching glimpses of his Person, conflict. realizing hes in too deep and now the plot itself demands him from a meta-ish standpoint, conflict. just conflicts all around for this guy.)

now there is the whole... being a person on camera thing. which is in essence what the entire AU and story arc thereof is centered around: noah learns that he can Be a Person and drop the overly sterile self-regulation sometimes. im,, slightly torn on how exactly to cement this kind of shift in behavior,,

< as it makes sense in my head, noah would be more willing to relent his vice-grip on his facade for the sake of achieving his goal (being expose alejandro outright/at least see whats underneath). so therefore, for the story to progress, there would have to be those opportunities, and for it to make sense those opportunities would have to increase as the plot goes on (and, ofc, inline with alejandros own relent on his mask for the sake of going back and forth in some weird bid for who can expose the other and still keep up their own facade)

^ this is kindof what ive 'settled on' to build up the rest of the AU events on (i will have to find some way to slot in those opportunities proper uuuughghgggh) but yet again if Anyone has Any thoughts at all,, hand them over pretty pls pspspspspspsp