#he doesn’t need permission for things contrary to what he seems to feel

[theworld-accordingtocasey]

Not at all bothered by the vape thing.

As stressed out as Taeyong is, he deserves a vice & as a Tyongf i feel strongly about this.

[blzzrdstryr]

Generous offering

Yandere!Zhongli x gn!Fatui Harbinger!reader

Wordcount:1843

CW:Yandere themes

There are several simple things one should know before dealing with the archons - be respectful and polite, speak only when you’re allowed to and most importantly - never forget that archons aren’t humans.

The first two rules are instinctive - it’s natural for humans to simper and bow before the forces far greater than them, while the latter is not; on the contrary it’s counterintuitive and unexpected. People tend to project, tend to humanize - they see kindness when there’s none and make a huge mistake of assuming that archons see things the way they see it.

Tsaritsa, for example, lacks humanity, despite holding the title of Goddess of Love. The love that she holds for you is different from love mothers and fathers give to their children, or love that young sweethearts share at night, it’s cold and impersonal and undeniably cruel.

Tsaritsa says that she loves all of you and she loves Snezhnaya, yet she lashes out a harsh and gruelling punishments at every perceived failure and rules her land with an iron fist, one would think that the cryo archon is a liar and a hypocrite, who uses pretty, flowery words to hide the atrocities she commits, but this perspective is flawed. Tsaritsa loves all of you and she loves Snezhnaya, she’s just not human enough to properly express this.

That’s why it’s a bit jarring to see the ancient lord of these lands in his mortal form - he lacks the same otherworldly terror and grandiose that every of Tsaritsa’s move and word carry, yet he also possesses the air of wisdom and elegance so refined that rare person can reach it. It’s easy to assume that he’s human.

Rex Lapis, or “Zhongli” as he calls himself now invites you to the Liuli pavillion the second day after your arrival, for tea and local cuisine as he says, and who are you to decline a God?

Liuli staff hurries and dashes around, preparing their best room for you - Fatui are known for their seemingly endless finances, no wonder they’re in haste. “Please make yourself comfortable, dear guests”, the waiter curtsies and leads you to the dining room, which happens to be richly furnished and decorated with high-quality darkwood furniture and the hand painted wall panels further accentuating the luxury of the restaurant.

One of these panels illustrate different scenes from the Liyuen mythos - a battle of mighty and wise adepti against the horde of demons, Rex Lapis aiding his people in building the Harbour and the most spectacular one - a majestic dark brown dragon with golden fur and feathers descending to the devoted worshippers, who in turn present him with their offerings and gratitude.

He orders tea and meals for both of you, as you start to converse about the plan that he is determined to bring into life - the so-called test of Liyue, and the guarantee of you obtaining his gnosis.

“And what about your colleague?”, he sips a bit of his tea, intense amber eyes piercing right through you. He looks both human and non-human in this moment, both undeniably mortal softness and frailty seen in his figure and the barely concealed divinity, the sense of awe slowly seeping into air mixing in one person.

“And what about him? Tsaritsa and you have negotiated everything beforehand, I will make sure that he plays his part properly”, he hums at your answer, lowering his gaze deep in thought. You start on your own tea.

Ah, Childe, if only he knew why exactly he’s here - a distraction and a scapegoat. You even feel bad for him - it’s truly unfair to be lied to by your own Goddess. However, it’s also not a big surprise - Childe is the loudest out of all Harbingers in all senses. Infamous for his skills and battle obsession, his name is enough to have people both shivering in fear and cursing him.

“What do you think of your archon? Was serving her of any use to you?”Rex Lapis unexpectedly asks.

You lean back in your seat, thinking what to say.

“Tsaritsa is a gentle soul, she declared war only to protect us, her subjects and I am ready to aid her in whatever undertaking she starts”.

“Will you continue to serve Tsaritsa, if her action might put you in danger, make you suffer and bring unnecessary grief?”, he leans closer to you, his human features distorting enough to reveal the ancient dragon sleeping inside. His eyes shine a cold golden glow and accurate fingernails morph into sharp, dark claws.

“Yes”, you breathe out, mesmerized and terrified by the sudden change: “Her love knows no bounds, yet she always puts the needs of the nation before anyone else. If my suffering can help Snezhnaya, then I will accept it with open arms”, he moves back at your answer, all draconic traces gone in an instance, upper corner of his lips subtly rising - whatever you said must’ve pleased him immensely.

The conversation flows back into the territory of plans to be realized, yet the cold sensation of dread still clings to you, your gut feeling yelling at you to get up and run. You remain seated to the end of your meeting, politely conversing with the God that terrifies you.

***

Days slowly grow into weeks and Childe acts just as you have expected - the Eleventh Harbinger might be smart, yet even he wouldn’t be able to see what two of you are scheming. Still, you request Ekaterine, a spy you planted in Northland bank, to keep you updated on the Tartaglia’s actions - extra caution never hurts.

You continue to meet up with geo archon, as you two discuss your next actions. Tartaglia has started cooperating with that blonde foreigner Signora has warned you about, and while this union doesn’t pose any threat to your plans, it’s always good to have a plan B, just in case something happens.

Sometimes your conversation develops into a more unexpected direction, as you find the archaic lord more chatty and tending to ramble, than any of Liyuen historians would dare to picture him as. One on such occasion he talks with you about dragons - benevolent deities who protect and bless their people in an exchange of generous offerings.

His eyes devour you, as he retells you ancient folktales and you suppress your discomfort, preferring to attribute his honestly unnerving behaviour down to his lack of humanity - he was never human in the first place.

That’s why you also prohibit yourself from viewing him as anything but God - Rex Lapis in his “Zhongli” persona is genuinely attractive, he’s well-mannered and obviously handsome and far more knowledgeable than any mortal should be. If you didn’t know of his true nature you would have fallen for him by now - it’s hard not to.

Life, how strange that wouldn’t sound, goes as usual - you get Ekaterine’s report on what Childe’s up to and if it’s something unexpected you book a Liuli pavilion room and send an invitation to the funeral parlour consultant. You only need to wait until Childe gets desperate enough and decides to use the sigils of permission to unleash the well-awaited chaos.

This routine however is soon broken by the appearance of familiar ashy-white hair in the distance. She doesn’t wear her signature mask or dress, nor are there agents at both of her sides, yet you can still clearly recognize her. Signora leaves the Wangsheng building in haste, cape with the hood concealing most of her face and figure, except the long locks of hair, peeking from inside.

What is she doing here?

You thought that Tsaritsa sent two of her servants - Tartaglia and you, him to “test” Liyue, you to oversee the former’s actions and obtain gnosis, there’s no need to send her too.

Your mind races, as you search for a logical explanation of Signora’s presence as your memory supplies the piece of first conversation you had with “Zhongli” - could it be that Tsaritsa also sent you to play a role you have no idea of?

Cryo archon is a goddess of love and her love is cruel and unforgiving, she has sacrificed countless chess pieces before, so it wouldn’t be surprising if she did that again - you are nothing but a pawn after all, one of the tools she uses to exact her will and force her vision, all of the Harbingers are.

You want to believe that you can accept and resign to whatever hardship and fate your Goddess might subject you to. You can’t.

***

Adepti and Qixing converse at the pier of the seaport, as you hurry to the Northland Bank, a slight smile playing on your lips - Childe has finally done it - he summoned an ancient god to lure out Rex Lapis, ultimately proving that Liyue can stand without him.

There are sounds of heated argument heard when you open the building’s door and then you see it - Signora and Tartaglia exchanging barely concealed insults and “Zhongli” standing nearby.

“[Harbinger]? What are you doing here?”, the ginger shifts his gaze onto you, a rare emotion of hurt and disbelief flickering in his dead fish eyes. “Of course, Tsaritsa sent you too”, he smiles, angry and disappointed. “Seems that whole world wants to make a bad guy out of me”, he stomps out of the room, leaving you with Signora and “Zhongli”

“[Harbinger]”

“Signora'', you acknowledge each other, after she trails exiting Childe with her eyes.

“I am here to take the gnosis of Rex Lapis”, she says and you nod, accepting that your Goddess lied to you too: “Tsaritsa also asked me to give you this letter”, she extends her arm, a thick envelope with the familiar seal catching your attention.

With the trembling hands you snatch it out of her hold and almost rip the envelope - for what reason did Tsaritsa send you here?

She writes that you need to stay in Liyue for an undetermined period of time to upkeep “the agreement” made between her and Rex Lapis. You read her message silently, yet when your eyes trace over these words, the sensation of “ “Zhongli’s” eyes on you becomes ten times sharper and stifling. You don’t know what to do.

The other Harbinger leaves too, taking the gnosis with her, as “Zhongli” takes a couple of steps to you, touching your shoulder in a somewhat reassuring gesture. “[First]”, he starts, tone sympathetic and soothing. You don’t fall for it.

“You had your hand in it, didn't you?”, you hiss and accuse, throwing an angry glance at him, momentarily forgetting about the first two rules of dealing with archons.

He smiles, revealing two sharp fangs, his surprisingly scaly hands snaking around yours. “Yes”, Rex Lapis admits, and looks nothing like gentle and knowledgeable “Zhongli”. How could you forget? Archons aren’t humans, humanity is just a fancy dress they don to toy with mortals. He is the dragon, not the benevolent deity that is painted on the wall panels of Liuli pavillion, but a greedy and ancient creature, hungry for gifts and gratitude.

You are his generous offering.

[whorefordazai]

Headcanons for Dazai, Akutagawa, and Chuuya with and s/o who gives them random acts of affection 🛐🛐🛐

s/o who gives random acts of affection

ft. dazai | chuuya | aku x gn! reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Dazai

Contrary to popular belief, this man wouldn’t expect it at first.

Like yeah, he can be touchy and clingy half the time. And he’ll expect you to do it too. But when you randomly do it at times he’d least expect it? You would catch him a little off guard.

Dazai can be overly clinging or not clingy at all, there’s no in between. His mood changes very quickly. And although he can control himself, you can’t help but notice the little things off about him.

When he gets a little bit distant, you make sure to always be there for him.

Randomly hug him, make him food, literally just stay with him. It’s not the same as clingy. It’s more like understanding each other’s space but still caring.

When he’s brushing his teeth, slowly wrap your arms around his waist and hug him from behind.

KISS HIS FOREHEAD ‼️

He never expects them. Especially when he’s concentrated in something or just out of the blue.

Like in the morning before he (unfortunately) leaves for work. As he’s about to open the door and walk out, you swiftly grab his face and place a soft kiss on his forehead (🙇‍♀️💞)

Wash his hair in the shower😠

Will definitely fall asleep because he loves the feeling of his back against your chest and your hands massaging his head.

DON’T WAKE HIM UP PLEASE🙏(even if you get all soggy and pruny😡) it’s the only time this little dandruff clump gets any good sleep cuz he doesn’t have a sleep schedule.

Gather him up in your arms and hug him for no reason other than because you love him so much.

Chuuya

His cheeks go red every time you touch him😁

If you were to give him random acts of affection, his reaction would depend on how long he’s been with you.

At first, he’ll be very shy. Because he can’t really believe that you’ll willingly give him affection?

Chuuya’s confident in his looks besides his height but he kinda doesn’t process that he actually loves you and y’all are together.

Give him a while to process it😭

When he does, he’ll love your affection even more than before. Even you do it randomly, his brain will go blank for about 30 seconds so give him some time 🤏

Once, you kissed him on the lips in the middle of the street. Mans was levitating on his toes like this 🧍‍♂️

He’ll get clingy but under no circumstance can you call him out. I mean, you don’t mind either way🥰

When he’s trying on a new outfit, be sure to admire him with your eyes, say “Wow” then take his hands and twirl both of yourselves around.

It might be a little childish, but fuck that. This man deserves everything. Finish it off with a kiss and he will melt <3

In the morning when he’s getting ready for work, put on his choker for him.

“Here, let me.”

“...o-okay...”

He’ll blush, but to hide the blush, he’ll bury his face in your neck and wrap his arms around your waist as a “goodbye hug”

It’s okay Chu, no need to hide the blush ¬_¬

In fact, he always seems to be doing that. Burying his face in your neck or chest in attempts to hide his blushing face.

Akutagawa

He is immensely confused ಠ~ಠ

Like, what are you doing??

You make him tea in the morning when he wakes up, you offer to wash his coat (with permission, ofc) and you buy new calligraphy pens and paper for him?

He’s never seen anything like this before😦⁉️

He’ll definitely confront you after a while of observing you like a snake.

“Y/n...why do you do all this extra stuff for me? Do you want something from me? I swear if you’re trying to deceive me-”

“I’m just trying to cherish you ◕ ◡ ◕”

“...I...cherish ◔_◔?”

Good job, y/n. You’ve broken him. His gears are broken. Give him a moment.

When he realizes you want to cherish him?? Ah, he’s a blushing mess.

Discreetly hold his hand !

Not too tight, and don’t make it very visible. And only when the two of you are alone.

Like when he’s nervous, just brush your hands together. He’ll be so anxious and in the moment, that he won’t even notice himself be the one to grab your hand first.

Gently rest your head on his shoulder. Bonus points if you fall asleep 😉

He’ll freeze at the sudden contact and be like “who the fuck falls asleep like this ᇂ_ᇂ?”

But you’re like a cat, gently snoozing away. So he won’t dare move his position. If he’s reading, you’ll both stay like that for hours.

Gently put your hands on his cheeks and say “you’re so beautiful.”

He’ll probably lose all feelings in his legs because no ones ever said that to him before.

Head pats !!

Not the aggressive kind. Just the gentle ones where you softly ruffle his hair and say “good job, Ryu” or “you did so well”

Praise him a lot. Not to the point where it sounds fake. But praise him. He deserves it.

a/n: I literally had to search up “acts of affection” cuz I’m so touch starved and have no idea what that is besides being hyper sexual😆👩‍🦯

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Twenty Three

⚠WARNING: Mentions of mental health treatment

• ────── ✾ ────── •

You look up from your phone, glancing at your companions. Kita is resting his head on Aran’s shoulder, his eyes closed. Aran also has his eyes closed. From a quick glance it looks like they’re sleeping but they’re both sitting far too tense. Suna is sitting in his chair, awake. He’s scrolling on his phone but his eyes have a glazed-over look.

Needless to say, you’re all quite worn out.

Your phone pings and you look at the new messages.

You stand from your seat and walk over to Kita and Aran. They stir immediately, giving away the fact that they weren’t asleep at all.

“My friends are going to stop by with dinner,” you say. “They’re bringing enough for us all, including the Miyas. But I’m not sure if they’ll be down.”

Aran blinks in surprise but Kita stands to dip into a bow. “That is very generous of them, thank you. I have some money that I would like to use to pay.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary!” You wave your hands in front of you. “Please, it will be our treat.” Kita looks like he wants to interrupt so you speak again with a smile. “Please, you are all visitors. It would not be very hospitable for me, so I insist.”

This time Kita is the one who blinks at you. He doesn’t reply right away, so Aran leans around him and gives you a smile. “Thank you, Y/N. I’m sure Kita won’t want to object to your hospitality.”

“No, not at all.” Kita murmurs. But he gives you a small smile before bowing his head again and sitting down. You nod and go back to your seat. Suna still has his eyes on his phone but you hear a small mumble from the side after you sit.

“Thanks.”

You glance at him and nod. Your group falls into a lapse of silence, which again gives your brain ample time to wonder. You can’t stop thinking about Osamu, and hoping that he’s okay. Sure he’s physically okay, especially here in the hospital. But you have no idea what a psychiatric watch entails. Is he alone? Does someone have to sit with him and watch him? Does he have to be restrained?

That idea alone makes your heart throb, and you clench your fists to stop the onslaught of negative thoughts. But it doesn’t stop the image of Osamu sitting alone, tied to the bed and looking petrified.

You physically shake your head. There’s no way he’s alone. His parents went up there ages ago. His mother was not about to leave him alone if she could help it. She was in tears when she met you, clearly relieved at the idea of Osamu having a friend in Sendai. She must have been so worried about him, and so scared that he’d never see him again.

It makes your heart ache for your own parents, but you know it’s just noticeable from being close to this situation. You miss your parents, sure, but you talk to them nearly every other day. You visit them and they visit you. Your relationship is fostered with constant communication and check-ins.

You can only imagine how distant and helpless Osamu’s mother has felt these past few weeks without any contact from Osamu. And how powerless she must have felt when realizing that she couldn’t reach out to him in any way.

Part of it breaks your heart, for both Osamu and for his mother. But another part of you is grateful that you were able to be some support for Osamu when he was truly alone here in Sendai.

“Y/N-chan,” a voice calls out. You turn and see Oikawa, Mattsun and Makki head towards you, all laden with plastic bags filled with food. Makki looks worried, Mattsun stoic, but Oikawa glances around the lobby. You watch him offload his bags to Mattsun before he makes for the reception desk. There, several nurses and staff are glaring at your group - you hope that Oikawa can run interference and make them not hate you enough to kick you out.

“Hey guys,” you greet and stand when Makki and Mattsun get closer. Makki sets his bags down on a chair and immediately pulls you into his arms.

“How are you doing?” He asks.

“I’m okay, just exhausted.” You pull away and turn to Kita, Aran and Suna. “This is one of my best friends Hanamaki Takahiro, and that’s his boyfriend Mattsukawa Issei.” Mattsun looks up from where he’s organizing the take out on a small end table and nods.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Makki says. “I hope our dear Y/N-chan hasn’t been too much trouble for you.”

You elbow Makki for his quip, not missing his smirk. It’s not a full Makki smirk but it’s the start of one.

“On the contrary Y/N has been more than helpful.” Kita says politely. “My name is Kita Shinsuke. This is Aran Ojiro and Suna Rintarou.” Aran waves his hand in greeting while Suna just nods. Kita bows towards Makki. “Thank you for bringing dinner, it is very appreciated.”

“But of course!” Oikawa saunters over and sets down a stack of plates and cutlery. His schmoozing of the hospital staff must have gone better than you thought. “And I am Y/N-chan’s best friend - Oikawa Tooru.”

“Yeah, we met you yesterday.” Aran points out, as if Oikawa genuinely forgot and is not re-introducing himself for attention.

“It’s kind of hard to forget someone like you.” Suna says quietly. Oikawa glows at that, but you’re almost certain Suna meant it as an insult. Before you can say anything Mattsun speaks.

“The food is going to get cold, so let’s eat.”

Everyone murmurs thanks and fills up their plates. There’s plenty to feed them all, plus the Miyas, and give them enough leftovers. Everyone sits down in the chairs and digs in.

You know you should eat but you can’t bring yourself to do anything more than push the food around your plate. Suna, sitting next to you, is in a similar state. Both of your actions don’t go unnoticed by Oikawa.

“Y/N-chan, Stringbean - you need to eat.” He chides.

“Stringbean?” Suna asks flatly.

“Tell me I’m wrong.” Oikawa smiles sweetly, the challenge going unanswered when Suna looks back at his plate.

“Suna-kun, please try to have some food.” Kita’s gentle request carries the cadence of an order, and Suna is quick to comply. You glance at Kita, who gives you a nod. “You too, YN.”

You nod and turn back to your food. You twirl your fork in some noodles and take a bite. Looking back up you see both Oikawa and Kita smiling at you.

It’s quiet for a few more minutes, where you’re able to get some more food in you, when Kita speaks up.

“I just want to thank you all again for bringing dinner. Especially today, I understand that it is a more difficult day than others.” Kita pauses, his face turning somber. “And it goes without saying, but I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Wait, how do you know about that?” Mattsun asks.

“Oikawa informed me of the date last night.” Kita answers.

“Oh.” Mattsun answers. He pokes at his food. “We’re sorry for your loss also.”

Kita nods. “Thank you.” It’s quiet again after that, both groups of friends finishing the food on their plates.

You find it a bit surreal that all the people surrounding you now are similar yet so different. And how crazy your paths have become intertwined purely by chance.

You don’t get much time to ruminate on this thought for long before Osamu’s parents come down into the lobby. You all watch as they walk towards your group, Kita and Aran standing to meet them.

Osamu’s mother holds up her hands. “Osamu is going to be alright.” She looks exhausted but there’s a light in her eyes that wasn’t there before. “His fever broke but they’re going to keep him overnight so he can rest.”

Your group lets out a collective sigh and you feel your heart lighten at the news.

But she’s not done talking. “We spoke with the doctor and she called in a psychiatrist and they recommended that Osamu should stay at an in-patient facility here in Sendai for a month. If his doctors are happy with his progress and he’s happy with his progress, he’ll move back home for out-patient therapy.”

Suna speaks up. “He’s coming home?”

The mom nods with a smile. “Yes, he’s coming home.”

Suna exhales sharply and falls further into his seat. He covers his face with his hands and breathes hard. You can see his shoulders shaking minutely, and watch as Aran ducks down to put an arm around his shoulders. Kita steps up to give Osamu’s mother a hug. He’s speaking to her softly but you can’t make out what he’s saying.

You feel someone come up next to you. “Are you alright?”

You glance and see Oikawa watching Kita and Osamu’s mom hug. You take a second to gauge how you’re actually feeling right now, given everything that has happened to you today.

“I’m relieved,” you answer honestly. “Osamu is okay and he’s going to be okay. But also, I’m proud that he’s taking the necessary steps to help himself.”

“Yeah, but,” Oikawa starts. “He’s going to move away from Sendai. And Hyogo is pretty far…”

He trails off and he gives you a sad look. It takes you a second but when you realize what he’s implying your face hardens.

“Osamu is getting the help he needs, and I’d be a terrible friend if I was anything but supportive of that.”

“I know, I know.” Oikawa quickly replies. “I wasn’t trying to make it seem like you didn’t care about him.”

You smile, feeling the previous irritation melt away. “Thanks Tooru.” You pull your friend into a side hug, and let him squeeze you back. You understand what he was trying to say, but you stand by your words - your feelings are the least important thing right now.

“Y/N?” Osamu’s mom comes up to you and Oikawa. Behind her you see Osamu’s dad being introduced to Mattsun and Makki while getting served food from Aran. But you’re focused on the woman standing in front of you now. “Osamu said he wanted to talk to you, if you wanted.”

You blink in surprise. “What?”

“Visiting hours have ended but the doctors have made a special exception for you - I can take you up to his room but you’ll only be able to talk for 15 minutes.”

“Oh.” You can’t really say more, still completely thrown by what’s happening. Osamu wants to see you, apparently bad enough to warrant special permission.

But what you’re really focusing on is that Osamu wants to see you. That last time you and Osamu were in the same room he was delirious with a fever, and the time before that he was drunk and angry with you.

You’re pretty certain that he’s more coherent now than either previous time, but you’re still caught off guard with his request.

But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to see him too.

“Okay,” you finally answer. “But I can go up by myself, if you want to sit and get some food.”

The woman blinks before she gives you a smile. It’s so similar to Osamu’s that it makes your heart skip a beat. “I can see why Osamu wants to see you, you’re so sweet.” Your face burns with your blush but Osamu’s mother doesn’t comment on it. “He’s in room 3D - if you run into anyone you can tell them Dr. Yamada gave you permission.”

You nod at her instructions. She gives you another smile and gently pats your shoulder before leaving you to grab food with her husband.

“Will you be okay?” Oikawa asks you quietly.

You don’t hesitate to answer. “Yes, I’ll be fine.” You smile and step away. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Good luck,” Oikawa calls as you walk away. You look over your shoulder and nod, before turning back to the elevators and making your way to the third floor.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: The story is wrapping up quite quickly! Quicker than I want! (Not that I'm upset about the direction we're going in!) Looks like the reader has a (much needed) conversation with Osamu coming up - fingers crossed it goes better than their last conversation!

Can't believe it but the final chapter and epilogue will be posted on Friday! Thank you all so much for reading the story so far, I truly cannot put into words how amazing you all are. I read every single comment and see every single kudo and it makes me so happy and grateful. 💖

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU (bold cannot be tagged): @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef @badkarma-a @reina-de-tay @meianshugoswife @creepykawass

[yandere-daydreams]

Can we have a general yandere typing for the TW dorm leaders or your favorite dorm pls?

This is very, very general (it has to be, if I’m going to fit seven different characters into the same post), but I hope it covers what you’re looking for! I’ve been meaning to write a ‘darkest fantasy’ drabble for the dorm-heads but,,, this’ll have to do, for now.

The NRC Dorm Heads as Yanderes.

TW: Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Dehumanization, Implied Kidnapping, Unhealthy Relationships, Mentions of Non-Consensual Touching, Mentions of Blood, and Implied Violence.

~

Riddle is Domineering.

He can’t change what he is, and even if he could, he wouldn’t see the need to. Riddle loves you, he loves you so, so much, but to him, you’re so reckless, so impulsive, so inept, it makes his underclassmen seem cautious, in comparison. He worries less for your safety than he does for your carelessness. He doesn’t think you’ll impale yourself on a banister or trip and manage to break your neck, and yet, he’s managed to convince himself that, the moment you’re left into your own devices, you’ll twist, distort, manage to take something that’s so precious to him and turn it into something perverse, something that doesn’t deserve to have a caretaker so devoted. If he has to take a few hours out of his busy schedule to make sure you understand why he’s so adamant that you obey him, then so be it. He’d rather have a perfect, prized doll who can’t meet his eyes without trembling than someone he doesn’t even know, someone he can’t even love. Someone who won’t let him love them, even when he’s made it so clear that if he suffocates you, it’s only because you've forgotten that you can only breathe because he lets you.

Leona is Jealous.

It’s such a classic younger-sibling complex, isn’t it? It’s not that he’s possessive, he’d be more than fine with carving you up and handing out the pieces if he knows who he’s sharing with, but he’s had a say in so little, he’s had so much snatched out of his grasp before he knew better than to let it go, he can’t stand the though of losing you like that, too. He needs to monopolize your time, your attention, he needs to monopolize you, because if he doesn’t someone else is going to come along to do it for him, and he knows they won’t treat you half as well as he will. It’s why he’s so quick to pull you away from conversations he didn’t give you permission to be a part of. It’s why he can’t seem to go five minutes without insulting your friends or implying that you could cling to him as much as he clings to you, even when the two of you have been along for hours. It’s why he’s so desperate to bite into your neck and burrow his nails under your skin and leave proof of his existance, if only to satisfy that repressed, buried, primal part of himself that just wants something he can own. And he will own you, by the time he’s done. He tends to be thorough, with the things he’s so determined to see play out.

Azul is Paranoid.

There’s a connotation with this kind of alignment that might be a little misleading, when it comes to Azul. He’s manipulative, too. He’s obsessive and he’s controlling and he’s so many other things, but above all, he’s terrified by the idea that one day, you might decide that he’s just some pathetic, pitiful bottom-feeder and move on to someone’s who’s worthy of you. His mindset seeps its way into his behavior visibly, tangibly, blatantly, whether or not he’s willing to admit it. A dozen locks on your bedroom door, a new contract he’s gone over a hundred times, a thousand kisses and a thousand promises and a thousand hours spent clinging to your waist, his face buried in your chest as he begs you to never make him let go. He feels like you’ll slip away if he doesn’t hold you close, like you’ll find a loophole or a way to leave him and he’ll never be able to get you back. It doesn’t help that he responds so reflexively to any change he didn’t acconut for. He can make all the plans in the world, contrive as many schemes as he’d like to, but all of his preparations won’t stop him from reacting so harshly when you say something he doesn’t want to hear or do something he didn’t see coming. Above all, he needs you to love him. He won’t respond well to any evidence of the contrary.

Kalim is Smothering.

You have to understand, he really, really thinks he’s just being the best boyfriend he can possibly be. Kalim is naive, like that. He loves you, and he doesn’t know better than to show that love off any way he can and every way he can. It kind of sweet, if you look at it like that. How is he supposed to know you wouldn’t enjoy receiving his gifts as much as he enjoys piling them onto you? You never told him how much his endless parties overwhelm you, so why would he ever stop throwing them? You always bite at your lips and look away and try to cover yourself when he gives you something pretty to wear, and Kalim just thinks you’re so beautiful, so wonderful, it’s only natural that he’ll - playfully, of course - pull you into his lap and go on about all the many reasons he loves you, layering on compliments so thickly, it’s only a matter of time before they start to seep into your lungs and force out the air. Remember, he’s blind to anything he doesn’t want to see, so by the time he finally crosses one too many lines and forced you to snap, he’ll be so caught off-guard, so heartbroken, he won’t know what to do besides buckle-down and give you more, force you to take more. He’s a simple man. If his antics were enough to make you snap at him, surely, more gifts, more attention, more love will only make things better.

Vil is Narcissistic.

This one speaks for itself, really. You might manage to worm your filthy little way into his heart, you might find a way to root yourself there and drive him to the point of near-insanity, but no matter how dear you are to him, no matter how much he loves you, you’ll always be second to the man himself, you’ll always be less than, compared to Vil. It shouldn’t be such a problem, he already acts like he should be the pinnacle of all mankind’s aspirations, but it’s taken to a new extreme when it comes to his closest companion. He expects to be doted on, to be worshiped, and when you’re not busy tripping over yourself to tend to his every desire, you should be hanging off his every word, letting him do whatever he’d like to because you’re just so honored he’d take a moment out of his day to look after you. If it takes a love potion or several, he’ll find a way to live with it. That’s the thing about a mentality like Vil’s, an obsession focused inward that just so happens to brush against someone it’s not meant to - he doesn’t really care about the parts of you that don’t lead back to him. Your health, your happiness, it’s all on the table if he has a chance to take hold of what he wants. He’s always been ambitious. You shouldn’t be surprised when he approaches your love with the same cut-throat attitude.

Idia is Possessive.

If it’s any help, he wants to lock himself away from the rest of the world just as much as he wants to isolate you. You’re the one person he can stand to be around, the one voice he’ll never get tired of, the one pair of eyes he knows will never judge him, even if he’d prefer that you call him more affectionate nicknames, as he explains that he’s just trying to keep the two of you content and alone. He’s greedy, when it comes to you, but that’s not his fault. He gets… sensitive, when you start to focus on other people, when you let other men touch you like they have any right to put their hands on something he deserves to keep to himself. It leads him to some habits he’s not proud of, some reactions that don’t exactly encourage you to indulge his more questionable habits, but while Idia still wants to be able to hide in your arms and ramble on to the only person he knows will listening, he stops caring about how much you want to embrace him, eventually. The world’s already so unfair in so many ways, and no one knows that more than Idia. He doesn’t think he’ll mind if you begin to think he’s as much of a disgusting freak as he already knows he is.

Malleus is Apathetic.

He wants to care. Don’t forget that - he really, really wants to care about your feelings, your interests, your happiness, all of it! He tries to care, too. Not a day passes where he doesn’t make an attempt to get you to smile, to coax out a hint of fondness from your scorned little heart, to sort through all the betrayal and the hurt and the pain and find something redeeming, something that proves he’s not making you any more miserable than he has to. He’ll give you what sparse freedoms he can, keeping your leash as slack as he can afford to, but when you take a step too close to an open window or refuse to hold his hand or he just decides it’s been a few minutes too long since you last swallowed your pride and showed him the affection he strives after like a touch-starved puppy, he never hesitates to pull you back to his side and ignore how violently you’re choking as he takes whatever he wants, whenever he wants it. He never feels guilty, either, not for the act itself. He’ll fret over the hatred in your eyes, he’ll loath himself whenever you flinch at the first signs of his touch, but in the back of his mind, he knows he deserves what he rips away from you. He’s doing you a favor. Humans are so fragile, so delicate, so easily tricked, and as a prince, a prodigy, a source of unadulterated power, he’s the only suitable candidate when it comes to keeping you safe, to guarding you as fiercely as dragon guards its hoard. He protects you, and he treats you like royalty while doing it, so he wants something in return. He doesn’t think he’s asking for a lot, considering how much he’s been denied.

You should just count yourself lucky Malleus might feel a little bad, by the time he’s done. At least he won’t leave you as bloody as he could, after he’s finished.

[radiantmists]

Title: and you give yourself away

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Pairing: Jon/Martin

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 4414

Jon is not an idiot. Contrary to what some of the people who love him might believe, he’s not even entirely oblivious to social cues, though he’ll admit they elude him perhaps more often than is standard.

All of this to say that in the week following their escape from the Lonely, as Martin graduates from shy smiling glances and tentative clutching of clammy hands to full-bellied laughter and warm, steady embraces, Jon is fully capable of figuring out where things are going. And, yes, the idea makes him uneasy when he faces it head on, but if there's something more he can do to feed the way Martin is unfolding, blossoming into the man he'd been before— except more sure of himself, somehow, steadier—

Well, there isn't much Jon wouldn't attempt for that, given the option. This is something small, something he's not even actually opposed to, just... less than completely sure of.

So when they’re sitting on the couch together, giggling over some charming thing the grocer had said to Martin, and Jon looks up to find Martin’s blue-green-grey eyes mere inches from his own, a breath caught in each of their throats, he's prepared for what Martin is going to say before the first sound emerges.

“Jon,” he whispers, “can I k—”

“Yes,” he blurts before Martin can finish.

Too loud and too abrupt; they both rear back with the force of it, and for a moment Jon feels like an utter idiot before he notices Martin giggling softly.

“Not eager at all, are you?” he teases, and now Jon hesitates.

The thing is—he’s not oblivious, which means he’s been thinking about it. He’d known how Martin felt since just after he woke up and listened to that awful tape with Elias; perhaps he’d figured it out even before that, somewhere between the fifth cup of perfectly-brewed, perfectly-timed tea in as many days and the third scrambled phone call from an ocean away, picked up on the second ring despite the forgotten time-zones.

But there had been so much going on, at first, that Jon had never had the chance to really think about it. And then after he’d woken, when he’d really had the chance to consider what he and Martin were to each other, it had always been in a sort of abstract sense—I need him to be okay, I need to trust him and I do trust him, and in the most maudlin moments of hopeful fantasy, I want him to still want me.

Only now, when they’d found that against all odds they were okay, and they did trust each other, and even begun to signal that they wanted each other, had Jon begun to consider what exactly ‘wanting’ might look like for Martin.

“I—wait,” he begins, the word tasting bitter. He knows Martin won’t be unkind about this, but that isn’t necessarily the same as understanding. Jon still has to say it. “You can kiss me, but only if you won’t be offended if I don’t like it.”

Martin sits up shock-straight, eyes going wide as he looks at Jon. “I’m not going to do it if you’re not going to like it! If you didn’t want to, why didn’t you just say no?”

Jon sighs, irritated. That hadn’t come out right.

“I didn’t say no because I do want you to kiss me,” he says, trying to be patient. “I mean, if you want to—”

“Of course I want to, Jon, but that doesn’t mean you have to say yes!” Martin replies, frustrated, gesturing sharply with his hands. Jon blinks, leaning back slightly, and Martin sighs, arms coming down and his tone going softer, smaller. “It’s not—this isn’t something you need to give me, Jon. I know you love me. It’s okay to have boundaries.”

Jon hadn’t had to come out to Martin, because the archival gossip chain had done it for him. But he supposes there was enough ambiguity in the terms that it’s worth having the conversation anyway.

“Asexual people can and do kiss, you know,” he says. “Some even have and enjoy sex, although I have to be clear that that will not be happening.”

“I—I know that,” Martin says, going red and avoiding Jon’s eyes. “And I know you can kiss, I wouldn’t have asked otherwise, but—you said you wouldn’t like it.”

Jon wrinkles his nose with a sigh. A whole week of turning this over, of deciding how he wanted to address this possibility and even rehearsing what he needed to say, and he’s still made a mess of it.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t like it,” he says slowly. “I asked you to be prepared for the possibility that I might not, because I don’t actually know. I want to try, but only if you’re okay with this maybe being the only one you get.”

There’s a long moment of silence.

“Jon,” Martin says slowly. “Have you not—would that have been your first kiss?”

Jon has to bite his tongue on the first, defensively scathing reply, and nods instead.

“But—”

Martin stops, hesitant, and Jon waves permission for him to continue with a sigh. Maybe the next question is going to be indelicate or ignorant, but better to address it than to leave him wondering.

“I mean, I know you’ve been in relationships before,” Martin explains carefully. “I—I’m not as surprised that you haven’t done it, there’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just confused because it seems like if it was something you wanted, you could have?”

Turning that one over in his mind, Jon nods slowly.

“I suppose you’re right,” he allows. “I guess it isn’t something I want in the traditional sense. I don’t look at someone—even someone I love—and want to kiss them, any more than I look at them and want to have sex. But sex at least makes sense,” he grouses. “As… off-putting as I find the idea on a personal level, it’s necessary in an evolutionary sense and obviously it involves biological processes that are designed to be enjoyable. I get why people do it, and those reasons don’t appeal to me.”

At this point, Martin is brick red, but he nods in acknowledgement. “And… kissing is different?”

“Yes!” Jon’s maybe a little excited to get to talk about this. Sue him, he’s been thinking about it enough. “It’s not as awful as sex seems, but it also serves no functional purpose, and yet the whole world is utterly convinced that it’s absolutely wonderful, and I don’t understand it. Another person’s mouth does not seem like an appealing thing to have in your mouth. But then again, objectively neither do pen caps, and you’ve seen me with those.”

Martin snickers. “Apparently they’re irresistible.”

“Yes, well,” Jon says, flapping a hand. He’d made the joke, but somehow he still feels a prickle of embarrassment, so he moves on quickly. “The point is, there’s nothing inherently appealing or especially off-putting about it, in theory. But I’ve never had an especially good reason to try, and none of the people I’ve dated really liked it, so I’ve never bothered. That doesn’t mean I’m not… curious.”

His first two partners had also been ace; Georgie wasn’t, but simply ‘wasn’t a fan’ of kissing, though she’d never been able to explain why, any more than Jon could articulate why the idea of anyone touching him sexually made his stomach flip even though he saw nothing inherently wrong with the act. It didn’t matter why, really; as Martin had said, boundaries are important. But it meant he’d stayed curious.

There was a little more to it, of course. His first boyfriend had asked Jon if he wanted to try kissing once, casually, since he’d never done it before. Jon had declined. Perhaps he hadn’t been quite as secure in his sexuality then, perhaps he did actually feel more of a need to at least try for Martin, who genuinely wanted this. Jon likes to think, though, that his desire to try simply speaks to how comfortable this whole relationship has felt, how safe. There was no reason that kissing had to be any different from that pastry recipe they’d done together the other day, the one they’d thrown out after three bites each with little more than a regretful shrug.

“I… that makes sense,” Martin says finally, and Jon sits up.

“You still want to, then?” he asks.

Martin blinks, an uncertain smile spreading on his face. “You are excited.”

“I’ve been thinking about it!” Jon says defensively, and Martin gives a shocked laugh-gasp. “I mean—I thought you might want to, which meant I had to decide whether I wanted to try, and so now I just… I’ve just ruined the mood, I suppose,” he finishes, deflating.

Martin’s smile doesn’t grow, but it stops twitching and tucks in at the corners like it’s decided that it’s there to stay. “I wouldn’t say that. Unless you’d rather not, of course.”

“No, I’m fine,” Jon replies. “Let’s try it.”

He studies Martin’s face, leaning forward slightly. Jon has considered the mechanics of this before, of course, and he’s seen it in movies, but there’s a difference between knowing how to do something theoretically and having experience, so he’s hoping Martin will take the lead, as it were…

With a frustrated noise, Martin pulls back.

“What?” Jon asks, blinking. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I—I guess I’m just nervous now!” Martin replies, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, I brushed my teeth this morning, but that was hours ago, what if my mouth tastes weird?”

Jon frowns. “Is that usually a problem?”

“Not—really? Not unless you’ve just woken up, or eaten something really strong…”

Would Martin’s mouth even taste that different from his? They’d eaten the same things today, after all, and used the same toothpaste. The memory of the bathroom with their toothbrushes sitting in the same cup, of sitting across from each other over a lunch they’d made with crisp sunlight streaming through the window, makes Jon grin a little even as Martin barrels on.

“Or—I thought, something chaste at least to start, but lots of people like deeper kisses way better, and really I’m not exactly talented, or even all that experienced! What if I put you off kissing forever, but you actually just don’t like kissing me?”

He looks down at his hands as soon as he’s finished; Jon reaches out slowly to take one in his own, contemplating this.

“If I don’t like kissing you,” he says finally, carefully, “then that’s all I need to know, isn’t it?”

Martin makes a cut-off sound that Jon can’t identify, and when he chances a glance at Martin’s face, his eyes are wide.

“I’m never going to want to kiss someone else,” Jon points out. “Best case scenario, you show me a fun new activity we can do together. If we… bump teeth or something, some good reason it’s an abnormally bad kiss, we can try again. And worst case—well, you don’t get to kiss anyone, I suppose, but—”

“It’s not like it’s something I need,” Martin interrupts, but he’s squeezing Jon’s hand. “Yeah, okay, I see your point.”

“There’s no pressure to be perfect from my end,” Jon agrees, but now he can feel himself hesitating. “But—there’s a good chance that I won’t like it, and it won’t be your fault, but if you’d rather not try at all, I won’t be upset.”

“Jon, I can promise you you’re not pressuring me into this,” Martin smiles.

Jon bites his lip. “I don’t want to do it if it’s going to upset you, or make you feel like you’re… inadequate.”

Martin sighs.

“Jon, I feel inadequate all the time,” he says frankly. “As long as you don’t—I don’t know, dump me over it? Make fun of me?—it’s not going to make a noticeable difference.”

“I think that’s worse,” Jon replies, and Martin winces. Jon wonders how much he’s already contributed to Martin’s feelings of inadequacy and decides it’s definitely worse.

“Well— I can promise I won’t be upset with you if you don’t like it,” Martin says finally. “But I think at this point we’re in utter agreement that we don’t have to, so maybe we can just—table this discussion?”

Jon sighs and shifts to rest his head against Martin’s shoulder instead. “Yeah, okay.”

Martin’s soft laughter rumbles in his chest and through Jon’s cheek into his skull. “Wow, you sound more disappointed than I am.”

“I was a bit excited to try,” Jon admits, running his thumb over the back of Martin’s hand in his own. “I’ve been curious about this for decades, Martin.”

“…yeah, that tracks.”

His tone is fond, but Jon still shifts uncomfortably, trying to make himself smaller.

“That’s me,” he says quietly. “Can’t leave any question unasked.”

Martin sighs. “Jon, you know that’s not what I meant.”

Jon does know. He does, except--

“You don’t mean it until it’s what makes me do something idiotic,” he blurts, sitting up. “It’s all just me, Martin, and—”

“Okay, being curious doesn’t require you to be ridiculously self-sacrificing!” Martin argues, letting go of Jon’s hands to gesture in frustration.

“Well, fine,” Jon bites back, crossing his arms. “I’m curious and an idiot. Happy?”

 “No!” Martin snaps. “There’s a difference between being stupid, which you aren’t, and being so convinced that your own safety doesn’t matter that you’ll knowingly throw yourself into danger, or, or let someone maim you for a story!”

Jon opens his mouth. Closes it. Martin is studying him, the tension slowly leeching out of his posture and leaving him just looking tired.

“I… I needed to know those things,” Jon says weakly.

“Most of them, yeah,” Martin agrees. “But—Jon, when you need something, when you’re curious, why is you getting hurt the first option? When did that happen?”

When had it happened?

Long before he’d entered the Lonely, the possibility of his death not even registering if it gave him a chance to retrieve Martin. Surely before Jared, when he’d traded an extra rib for a statement with hardly a moment’s hesitation. One rib for the statement, one for Daisy, as though they were remotely equal, and the obscenity of it had occurred to Jon only later. He’d been glad, in a sick way, that it hadn’t worked.

He hadn’t known exactly what would happen, with Melanie, but he hadn’t exactly been surprised to look up from the bullet to see her swinging at him with murder in her eyes. It had been worth it, though, even if she’d hated him afterward.

Jon had expected to die in the Unknowing, deep down. He’d accepted that the circus would kill him at some point during that interminable month with Nikola, though he hadn’t realized it until he’d been accepting Michael’s offer of a cleaner death—a trade in itself, he supposed, his life for an end when he’d had nothing else to bargain with. He’d spent the next few months increasingly exhausted, until putting himself on Trevor and Julia’s shitlist in exchange for some real answers from Gerry had hardly even been difficult.

Did Martin even know about any of those? He hasn’t seen Jon’s rib, hasn’t asked about the new scar on Jon’s shoulder or, in the whirlwind surrounding their departure, what exactly two hunters were doing at the Institute. He must have listened to some of the tapes, in those months that Jon can’t quite remember, but had the one recording Michael’s statement ever made its way to the Institute, or has Jon just automatically included it in the perfectly-accessible archive in his head?

Martin might be thinking about the Unknowing, or perhaps about Jon’s hand, which he’d patiently helped re-wrap on the day Jon had returned to the Institute, when the wound had practically ripped itself open with the strain of holding a shovel and digging.

Maybe he’s thinking about less concrete hurts, the way Jon had thrown himself into the idea of being useful if he couldn’t be human. About how Jon couldn’t give his life anymore, how he’d traded his human death to Oliver in exchange for waking up.

Or maybe it had been earlier, in a moment Martin will remember: that first, frantic rush of Prentiss’ attack, when Jon had grabbed for the tape recorder on the desk through a sea of writhing white flesh without even considering whether there might be a second.

Whatever Martin is thinking about, he must see on Jon’s face that he doesn’t have an answer, that the list is so long and so old that he can’t even begin.

“That isn’t okay, Jon,” he says softly.

“You did it,” Jon finds himself replying, defensive. “With Peter, you knew he was dangerous—”

Martin sighs, cutting him off even though the sound is almost silent. “Yes, I did, Jon, after you’d been in a coma for three months, and Tim and Sasha were dead, and the Institute had been attacked again, and my mother had just died. Do you really think that was a healthy decision?”

No. No, it had been terrifying, listening to the tape they’d found in the Panopticon and hearing Martin’s recorded voice call it a good way to get killed. Even with him bustling around packing in the other room, perfectly safe, Jon had felt the terror rise up cold and choking in his throat.

“You’re not a tool, Jon, and you’re worth more than a statement or a convenient solution to a problem,” Martin says. “It terrifies me that you don’t seem to get that.”

“It—I can see why it would,” Jon allows, throat tight. “But what I am now, whatever it is that Peter thinks Magnus ‘got’ out of their bet—”

“That isn’t your fault, Jon—”

“I hurt people to live, Martin,” Jon replies, exhausted. “Don’t I owe those people—and the people I’ve gotten killed—whatever good I can do, even if it might not be… comfortable?”

Martin leans back, his eyes closed. He looks hurt, and Jon feels abruptly and deeply ashamed of himself. After everything he’s gone through, with everything he’s still struggling with, Martin shouldn’t have to deal with Jon’s baggage as well.

He’s searching for the words to make this go away, to assure Martin that he’ll think about it and that he’s not planning to throw himself into danger any time soon, that he’s happy to stay up here and leave it all behind for as long as it’s safe or until Martin wants to go, when Martin speaks.

“What do I owe you, then?”

Jon blinks. “What?”

“For making you come after me,” Martin explains. “My plan didn’t accomplish much except for giving Magnus something he wanted, after all.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Jon argues. “I—it was my choice to go in, I—”

“It was Tim’s choice to go into the Unknowing,” Martin replies. “And Daisy’s for that matter. They didn’t do it for you, or even really because of you.”

Tim wouldn’t have chosen to go in if Jon hadn’t utterly ruined his life; neither he nor Sasha would have died if Jon hadn’t asked them to be his assistants in the first place. And even in the Unknowing itself, if Jon had just been able to see through it back then the way Elias—Jonah—had predicted he should, the way he’d almost easily found his way out of the Lonely, they could all have gotten out just fine.

Martin glares at him, apparently reading the justifications on his face. “They chose, Jon, with their eyes wide open. Don’t tell me otherwise, because I won’t believe you.”

“Even ignoring that,” Jon says, though the words are bitter, “it’s not—we’re not alike. You hadn’t hurt anyone—”

“I’ve been thinking about that one, actually,” Martin says, and his tone has gained the distant, thoughtful tinge he’d always had in his lonely office on the topmost floor of the Institute. Jon reaches for his hand, worried, and Martin doesn’t move away, but doesn’t close his own fingers, either. “I was enough of an avatar to convince Peter, wasn’t I? He must have been able to feel the Lonely on me, even if some of it was lies. That power had to come from somewhere. From someone, someone afraid.”

“He had control over the whole Institute,” Jon points out. “Maybe the low-level loneliness just sort of… carried over?”

But Martin shakes his head. “Maybe a little,” he says, “but I don’t think so.”

“Why?” Jon demands, frustrated. “There was no one who came in and made a bloody statement about you ruining their lives. Who did you hurt?”

“You, I think,” Martin answers, looking down at their hands. “Most of the Institute, they were afraid of the policy changes that Peter was making, or that he’d fire them or their friends—well, disappear them, but they mostly didn’t know that. And at first I think you were worried about what he’d do to me, too, but…”

“You kept making me leave,” Jon realizes, the words coming out almost before he understands them. “I started to worry that you’d chosen the Lonely, started to be afraid of more than just Peter realizing you were conning him, that you’d decide you really were better off without me.”

Martin stares at him, hands still limp in Jon’s. “That was… God, I’m right, aren’t I? You just Knew it.”

Jon had.

“It—it doesn’t matter,” he insists, squeezing at Martin’s hands almost desperately. “You didn’t even know you were doing it, it—”

“I knew I was signing myself over to an evil fear god, which is more than you did, going in,” Martin objects. “I knew Peter was evil, I knew you weren’t doing well—”

“It wasn’t your job to manage my emotional state, Martin—”

“Well, I’d have liked not to make it worse!” he snaps back. “God, talk about poor self-worth, you saved me after I practically left you to die over Peter Lukas’ theories—”

“About the literal apocalypse,” Jon points out. “It isn’t like I’ll be doing better if the Extinction really does emerge.”

Martin snorts dismissively. “His solution was to take over the world instead and kill the whole Institute in the process, that wouldn’t have been better either. And I might not have known that, but I did figure his plan was to use me for a ritual, and I still played along.”

“Because he’d have thrown you into the Lonely as soon as he realized you’d turned on him,” Jon replies.

“Which he did anyway. I’d have had to stop listening to him at some point.”

“Well, we did find out about the Panopticon, and Magnus,” Jon argues. “And you didn’t know if there was something even bigger he was leading up to, something we could use. You were doing the best you could, Martin, it’s only hindsight that makes the other options seem so much more obvious.”

Martin is blinking at him, gaze steady. Jon looks back. Thinks over his last few words. Makes a frustrated noise.

“It’s really not—”

“You’re genuinely so smart,” Martin interrupts, in a tone of wonder, “and yet so unbelievably stubborn. Yes, Jon, it is the same! You made some mistakes, most of them totally understandable in context, and none of them, even the really awful ones, mean you have to—to keep giving away bits of yourself!”

Martin voice has risen, gotten harsher as he goes, and he’s squeezing Jon’s hands tight enough that he can’t get them free to cross his arms, so all Jon’s frustration goes into his tone.

“Fine,” he snaps. “Fine! Neither of us will blame ourselves for things we couldn’t control, and we’ll both value ourselves more and build healthier self-images and all of that, and everything will be fine. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Jon glares. Martin scowls back, jaw set, still holding Jon’s hands tightly.

“Just like that,” Jon says.

“Absolutely.”

One more second of stubborn frustration passes. Then, helplessly, Jon snorts. Martin’s face twists, confused-irritated-wry, and then he’s snickering too, until they’re both laughing desperately, each leaning forward until Jon’s head is practically tucked under Martin’s chin.

“It’s not going to be that easy, you know,” Jon murmurs when they’ve calmed down, looking up to meet Martin’s eyes properly.

It’s an understatement; it’ll be hard enough just to keep things as good as they are. Martin still starts to drift off if he’s left alone for long enough, and no deal they make with each other is going to change the way Jon’s monstrous appetite is already starting to clamor for a statement.

“Well, at least we’re agreed,” Martin replies, but there’s a dry note in his voice that Jon knows means he understands. “We can remind each other.”

“I suppose.”

Their faces, once again, are very close together, and Jon abruptly realizes that he can feel Martin’s soft, tingling breaths on his cheeks. He pulls back, wrinkling his nose.

“What?”

“Nothing, just—breathing on me,” Jon explains. He’d mentioned his discomfort with that on their first night here, when he’d made sure there was a pillow between him and Martin on the bed.

Martin hums acknowledgement, then cocks his head in thought. Jon feels a curl of unease; this argument has been draining enough already.

“You know,” Martin says, “when you kiss someone, you can definitely feel them breathing on your face.”

“Oh,” Jon replies, utterly thrown. That was what had started this whole conversation. “Well. I probably wouldn’t have liked it much, then.”

“Good. And we figured it out without you actually having to do the uncomfortable thing,” Martin says. Jon sighs, then squints at him.

“And without you feeling like you’ve messed it up,” he replies pointedly, and Martin opens his mouth, then stops and chuckles.

“See? We’re going to be great at this.”

It’s not even remotely true. Jon still wants to know what kissing is like, though not with any real urgency, just as before; he’s still alarmed by Martin apparently feeling inadequate ‘all the time,’ and he doubts this has made a dent in it. Still, it might at least not make it worse.

Jon groans, leaning forward to rest his head on Martin’s chest and bringing his arms up to snake around his torso. “We can just hug instead.”

“Yeah,” Martin replies, folding him in tighter. “Yeah, okay.”

[artemisia--hq]

This prompt is from @kittensocute ‘kageyama and hinata are stuck on a ferris wheel ride’

(*ﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ

—————————————

When one thinks of amusement parks, games and rides, and generally a fun, happy time instantly comes into mind. This, however is decidedly not fun. This is a nightmare, a weaving of pure fear and terror, and Tobio swears if he ever manages to get out of here alive, he is so going to—

“Aaahh! Ahh! We’re gonna die! We’re gonna die!”

“Stop yelling, dumbass!” Tobio yells. He rubs his face with both of his palms when Hinata still wouldn’t stop screaming like a banshee. “Death is gonna be the least of your concern because I’m gonna kill you first if you don’t! Stop! Yelling!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Hinata cries, “and you’re yelling, too!” He serves Tobio a stink eye, or as stinky as he can possibly muster with his ashen face and trembling lips. Tobio just returns the glare a hundred-fold, and that seems to do the job of shutting the idiot up as he looks away with an obnoxious huff.

But the sudden silence only gives way for Tobio to marinate in regret, recounting every action that had led to the disaster they’re currently in.

It was supposed to be a fun day in the amusement park, and it did start out that way. The first and last time Tobio had been to one was years ago, with Kazuyo-san and Miwa for his tenth birthday. It is one of his most treasured memories that is completely unrelated to volleyball, the only time he had fun without it.

But spending it with his friends (and yes, that includes that bastard Tsukishima, however mortifying that concept is), had been admittedly fun, too. They were all together during the first hour, playing games and getting into every ride they could. But he and Hinata had been pre-occupied with one-upping each other with a shooting game and before they knew it, their friends were out of sight.

It was Hinata’s idea to ride the ferris wheel to look for them. Now they’re stuck in a cramped, glass-covered carriage for fifteen minutes.

“This is why you don’t get to have any dumbass ideas, you dumbass,” Tobio grumbles out loud.

Hinata bristles. “Wh-what?!”

“This is all your fault in the first place.”

The other boy lets out a disbelieving gasp. “You’re the one who said, ‘oh yeah. Good idea,’” he says in mock imitation of Tobio, flattening his hair as he does so.

He’s not wrong, but Tobio can’t give Hinata the satisfaction of being right, either, so he clicks his tongue and looks away.

Silence once again engulfs them.

Tobio gazes through the glass of the carriage to take his mind off of certain things that’s been circling his consciousness like incessant, annoying flies, things that shouldn’t be given permission to reside in his thoughts.

Getting stuck a hundred feet above the ground is bad enough as it is—getting stuck with the worst possible person just makes it a hundred times worse.

Tobio risks a sideway glance out on the corner of his eyes. Hinata has his arms around himself, as if he’s purposely trying to take up as little space as possible. Which is a weird concept to wrap around—as small as Hinata is, his larger than life presence could more than fill up a room, with that beaming smile and loud, cheery voice.

But Hinata is none of that presently. He looks quite pale, wide eyes darting around for every creak and squeak of the ferris wheel carriage, small hands clenching and unclenching the sleeves of his sweater. The most frustrating thing of all: he wouldn’t stop chewing his lower lip, now looking red and swollen and just so ki—

Tobio has to give himself a few mental punches in the head to wrench his attention away from it and to clear his thoughts.

See, this is why he absolutely shouldn’t be alone with this orange-haired gremlin. He gives Tobio horrendous ideas.

“K-Kageyama?”

Tobio’s body temperature drops to subzero. Fuck, was he caught staring? Was he too obvious? He should run—wait, no, fuck, he’s trap, he’s done for—

“Wh-what?” He snaps, anger immediately acting as a reflex.

Hinata flinches, then he sighs, looking down on his feet. “Never mind.”

Something twinges in Tobio’s chest. God, why is he so…taken with this stupid idiot. “What is it?” he asks, cutting down his tone, just a little.

The other boy still has his eyes cast down, squirming. “Uhm…”

“Out with it, dumbass.”

Those round brown eyes squeezes tight as Hinata blurts out, “Canyouholdmyhands?”

Tobio sputters, “Wh-what?”

“Can you hold my hands, please!” Hinata yells, extending both of his hands like an offering.

Okay, either he has completely lost his mind, or Hinata has.

He goes for the more convenient option.

“Are you crazy? No!” He whips his hands behind him, for good measure. “Why would I?”

“Because I’m scared and my hands are cold!” Hinata grouches, and for a second, he has every intent to fight and demand for it, like he always does, but then he deflates and slumps on his side of the carriage. “I-It’s fine. That was weird, anyway. Sorry.” He then proceeds to hug himself again, shrinking within his sweater.

Hinata has never looked so tiny and vulnerable.

Tobio’s mouth starts to open when the carriage suddenly sways and groans on his hinges. Hinata screams and Tobio is already lunging forward even before his mind could even process things, and his hands grabs onto cold, clammy ones, fingers intertwining tightly.

“We’re gonna die! We’re gonna die, Kageyama!”

“Sh-shut up! That was just the wind!”

“I-I don’t want to die, Kageyama!” Hinata wails, tears pricking on the corners of his blown, shaky eyes. “I-I still have to be good in volleyball! I still have to beat you!”

Tobio has never seen Hinata this distressed before, or even this legitimately terrified. He’s always been a scaredy-cat, but never like this. Tobio shuffles closer, gripping their joined hands. “No one’s going to die, so stop screaming.” He gives another reassuring squeeze, and it might be instinct or reflex, but Hinata squeezes back. “I won’t let that happen.”

Hinata sniffs. He blinks his glossy, golden eyes at Tobio “R-really?”

Tobio nods. “Yeah.” He hears some commotion from below and he presses his face on the glass. “Look, they’re doing something about it now.” He turns to face Hinata again. He could go in for a smile, but he figures that would only scare Hinata more than comfort him. “We’ll be out of here in no time, so just…think about something else.”

Hinata shakes his head frantically. “I-I can’t. There’s nothing in here that can distract me!” Then his gaze lands on their entwined hands. “Except, maybe…this.”

“Yeah, well…if that helps,” Tobio murmurs as he stares at their hands, too, before stalwartly looking away. If Hinata finds comfort in that, Tobio, on the contrary, needs a distraction of his own away from it. He settles at looking over the glistening lake dotted with tiny boats shaped like swans and turtles at the distance, but all of his nerve endings seem to concentrate on the point of contact between the, feeling each ridge and bumps of those rough, calloused hands wrapping around his own. Yet, they’re also unbelievably soft, if that makes any sense. Hinata just seems to defy all rules of the universe, from his jumps to the feel of his hands.

They are a bit sweaty, though, which is kind of gross. But Hinata being gross is not an entirely alien concept to Tobio, so whatever.

“Your hands are really warm,” Hinata says suddenly in genuine awe, as if he doesn’t mean to say them out loud.

Tobio’s hands are not the only ones getting warm—he can feel the back of his neck and his ears prickle with heat. “And really big. And your fingers are super long.” Hinata adds.

Tobio is half a mind to withdraw his hand and pocket them into safety, if only to keep them away from scrutinizing large eyes and to save himself from spontaneously combusting. But it does seem to calm Hinata, so it’s a risk he just has to endure.

He faces the other boy—the whole distract himself thing isn’t really working, anyway. “Obviously, dumbass,” he jibes, “I’m bigger than you everywhere.”

Hinata just nods, then he’s silent for a moment, before whispering, “Is this weird for you?”

“What, that I’m bigger?”

“No, stupid,” Hinata says with a roll of his eyes. “I meant, this.” He gestures at their hand, lifting them and letting it drop in the space between their knees.

“It’s only weird if you make it weird,” Tobio says, although he’s not really sure if he’s saying that to Hinata or himself. “You’re the one who asked for it.”

Hinata shrugs. “That’s different. I didn’t think you’d be up for it.” When Tobio doesn’t answer, Hinata sighs. “I-I mean, you normally do this kind of thing with…you know…” he trails, his pale cheeks quickly rising in color, eyes looking anywhere but at Tobio’s face.

“No, I don’t know,” Tobio says.

Amber eyes finally locking with blue ones, Hinata says in the softest voice, “You do this kind of thing with the person you like.”

“I do like you.”

It must be the work of altitude and oxygen and all the science-y stuff Tobio never paid any attention to in class because it’s the only logical explanation why his mouth decides to run off without his brain. He resists the urge to face palm himself hard enough to propel himself into the next dimension.

Hinata, understandably, stares at Tobio like he’s grown an extra head plus a tail. “You—like—what?!” he screeches, face and neck dousing in crimson red, and Tobio figures, he’s faring no better. “Y-you like me?!”

“I-I meant as a-a friend!” Tobio stammers, shouts, whatever. “As a friend and—and teammate! Dumbass!”

“I-I know that! I-It just surprised me!” Hinata shouts back, even as his face burns even deeper, redder than the sun settling behind the mountains.

Then he snickers, quickly turning into a full-on laugh.

“W-what? What’s funny?” Trying to sound demanding is hard when Tobio’s heart is lodged in his throat and with his entire body on fire.

Hinata snorts out a giggle, then he’s smiling at Tobio, radiant and flushed and—

Beautiful.

Here, trapped in a cramped, musty enclosed glass a hundred feet up in the air, Hinata—his rival, his partner, and if it isn’t obvious enough, the guy he’s been crushing on for months, looks achingly beautiful.

“Well, that makes me happy, because I like you, too!” Hinata exclaims.

Tobio has never really understood the expression ‘on cloud nine high,’ but he’s pretty sure this bursting feeling within his chest must be pretty damn close.

Then the beaming smile turns into a teasing smirk. “Even though you’re sometimes mean and violent and calls me dumbass more than my own name.”

And Tobio can’t help it, he smirks right back. “Dumbass.”

Their nonsensical argument of who likes who continues until the ferris wheel starts to turn and move again, continuing even after their feet touch the ground, as they zigzag their way among the crowd in search of their friends.

With Hinata’s hand still clutched over his.

—————————————

Thank you for indulging my request (begging) for a prompt! I have to apologize, though, this is not as good as I’d like to be, but it does help me ease out of my writing slump. I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless! ^o^

You can also read it on ao3 (with minor edits)

[absolute-flaming-trash-archive]

Hurt Part 3 - Damaged Goods

This is officially turning into a long fic series. Thank you a million times to @my-child-gaara for beta reading this.

Pairing: Illumi x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2′811

Warnings: Implied abuse/toxic relationship, Yandere behaviour, Manipulation, Graphic description of injury, Mentions of assault/noncon.

Part One, Part Two

-----

The longer the days went on, the more they began to blur together. That tended to happen when there was a lot of repetition. A constant repeat of routine that you would follow almost mindlessly.

To be fair, the daily regime was only a small part of what made the days fade into one another.

What was mostly the cause of it was the dissociation you were beginning to fall into to cope with the ever increasing visits from Hisoka.

You genuinely didn’t know how to act around the man anymore. What had started off as a relationship of supposed mutual respect had fallen apart over the course of a single evening, which he would remind you of and repeat frequently.

It wouldn’t happen every time he came to you. Sometimes it would be as it used to, where you would patch him up, albeit now with a heavy tension in the air, and he would leave. Other times it would be like that night all over again. You kept fighting him, of course, still unwilling to submit to a man who made it his goal to violently remind you that, in his mind, you belonged to him.

It was seemingly random. The only consistent indication of his possessive behaviour was that when you mentioned a friend or a coworker that you were getting close to, they would mysteriously disappear within several days.

It made you feel alone. Isolated.

Yet you still didn’t hate him… did you?

You’d think you would after all of that time. After what he had done. Everyone had their breaking point.

You honestly didn’t know if you had reached it, but were too numb to notice, or if you were truly that forgiving.

It was an endless cycle you would think about every night as you stared up at the ceiling, body still aching from how Hisoka had treated you.

Every cycle was eventually broken, though.

The clattering of books followed by the sound of something smashing broke you from your thoughts, making you instantly freeze.

Someone was in your house, and it wasn’t who you thought it was.

You had only one weapon in your room, a bat you saved for emergencies .

It would never do against someone like Hisoka, but for a burglar? You’d take your chances.

You threw the covers off of you, grabbing the bat and holding it above your head, approaching the source of the noise with caution; your breathing coming in quiet, shaky breaths the closer you got to your living room. 

When you rounded the corner, it was like time froze.

Like you thought, it wasn’t Hisoka.

Instead a man with the darkest eyes you had ever seen stood amongst the remnants of your fallen bookshelf, the shade of his clothes contrasting greatly against the paleness of his skin.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice shockingly casual - as if he hadn’t broken into your home and ruined your bookcase. You adjusted your grip on the bat, narrowing your eyes at the man before you.

“What do you want?”

Your eyes flickered over the dress-like blue outfit he wore. It was in tatters, blood and dirt deeply staining the fabric. The gloves covering his arms were shredded, hanging over his arms like streamers.

“I’m in need of your services, it would seem.” Your eyes snapped back up to his lightning fast, knuckles white from your grip on the bat. The man sighed heavily at your reaction.

“Hisoka did say you were skittish, there’s no reason to be alarmed.”

The bark of dry laughter that left you at his comment surprised you both. “If you’re with Hisoka, that gives you less reason to be here, and if you touch me I’ll more than alarm you.”

“On the contrary, I believe it gives me all the reason.”

Awkward tension hung heavy in the air as the two of you stared at each other, both unwilling to move from your positions. His orb-like eyes shifted over to the now trivial seeming weapon in your hands.

Like hell you’d go down without it though.

“Put down the bat.”

“Will you leave?”

“No, I still need your services.”

“Then I’m not putting down the bat.”

The slightest twitch of his eye was the only indicator of the annoyance that had begun to creep through his system.

“If I offered you my name, would that calm you enough to treat me?”

You paused, mulling the thought over with caution. It would certainly make things a little smoother, in any case.

“I still don’t trust you, but perhaps.”

“Excellent, I’m Illumi Zoldyck.” The robotic cheeriness to his voice was anything but soothing as you watched him seat himself on your couch. “I’d like you to get whatever supplies you have on hand, as I believe you’ll need them all.”

His words went over your head as you processed the name given to you.

Zoldyck. There was an assassin in your house.

“Are you going to kill me?” The words slipping out before you could stop them, making Illumi tilt his head, his eyelids drooping slightly in boredom.

“If I were to kill you, you would be long dead already.”

His tone did nothing to soothe your nerves, despite the implication that the words were meant to be reassuring.

Another few beats of silence passed as you continued to examine each other. It seemed that you were at an impasse, and you had a feeling that between the two of you the assassin was the least likely to back down from his stance.

“Are you going to get your kit?”

You lowered the bat begrudgingly, the discomfort and confliction written heavily across your face.

Just this once, you decided, turning on your heel and walking away briskly.

You hurried into the kitchen, grabbing what you needed with shaking hands, taking deep breaths in order to calm yourself as much as you could. The deja vu you were feeling was horrible, and you’d be damned if you let history repeat itself, but you had been taught harshly and repeatedly that you were not as strong as you had initially thought yourself to be.

That certainly didn’t mean you were willing to give up just yet though.

You returned to Illumi with a bowl of warm water and your kit, kneeling to assess the damage. There were lacerations all up and down his right arm, shards of glass deeply embedded into the cuts along with bits of debris. The bruising that you could see wasn’t horrendous, but it wasn’t good either. You shoved your state of unease into the back of your mind as you tried to focus primarily on the injuries presented.

“What happened?”

“My initial attack missed and my target became aware of my presence. Extremely annoying, really, as my aim was not the issue and it was due to him tripping over an uneven surface. We fought.”

Illumi watched with unblinking eyes as you experimentally touched around his multitude of cuts before you nodded to yourself, standing up and walking back into your kitchen.

“I’m going to remove the glass from your arms before I assess the rest of you.” You returned with a small empty bowl and a chair in hand.

The deja vu was becoming more intense by the minute.

“I do have to ask though, what made you come to me?” - you sat down, grabbing the cloth from the bowl and gesturing for Illumi to give you his arm - “I’d imagine your family has their own collection of doctors due to your profession.”

“We do, however now that I now know about you, you were a closer and more convenient option.”

“Deep breath, this is going to sting.”

Your warning was acknowledged with a slight nod, and you pressed the cloth to his skin as gently as you could. Illumi made no motion to pull away as you carefully cleaned the area as best as you could.

“To be quite honest, I’m a little surprised that Hisoka mentioned me to you.” you murmured, lightly dragging the cloth over the wounds, removing as much of the debris as you could and tossing it to the side once you were finished. A few beats of silence passed while you pulled out a pair of tweezers and began sanitizing them with rubbing alcohol.

“Not hard to believe, Hisoka feels the need to overshare the details of his missions with me for some odd reason.” His voice unwavering even as you had begun to pull the shards of glass from his skin. “Each of them would end with the common theme of him coming to you for assessment of his injuries.”

You huffed, the sound of the glass hitting the aluminum bowl filling the gaps of the conversation. “I'm not surprised at that, just the fact that he gave you permission to see me. At least that's what I meant before.”

“He did not, I found you on my own.”

It felt like all the air in the room had been sucked out at his words, your wide eyes slowly making their way up to his face as adrenaline shot through your veins, mouth instantly going dry.

“What did you say?” 

“At any attempt on my part to find out where you lived, should I need to acquire your services, he would become very proprietorial and would not disclose any further information. Quite inconvenient, we’ve always had a give and take relationship, but apparently he does not wish to share you with me.”

You couldn’t help but flinch at his particular choice of words.

“He uhm” -you swallowed thickly, clearing your throat as you gathered your words- “he doesn’t know you’re here?”

“No.”

That knowledge was simultaneously relieving and terrifying. Relieving in the sense that Hisoka wasn’t sending the people who he worked with to you to patch up, or...sharing you with others.

It was terrifying because you had no idea how he would react if he caught you with Illumi in your home when he clearly didn’t want him there.

And he could come through your door at any moment.

You ran your eyes over his arms, weighing your options quietly while trying to steady your breathing. You had nearly removed all the glass, after that you just needed to put on an antibacterial ointment and wrap the wounds in gauze and derma wrap, and he would be set.

Anything that you missed would have to be treated at his home, you couldn’t risk it here.

“This knowledge appears to be disconcerting, is Hisoka an exclusive client?”

An airy, humourless chuckle passed your lips. If only he knew.

“I’m going to do what I can for your arms, however the rest I’m going to have to leave to you since I’m not well equipped for anything worse than this. Hisoka used up the majority of my heavy duty medical gear some time ago, and I haven’t had the time or the funds to go get more.”

Illumi blinked owlishly at you as you continued to work, your movements noticeably faster as you treated him.

Odd, but your reasoning was sound enough.

The minutes flew by as you removed the remaining glass, antibiotic cream covered gauze placed over each wound as you gingerly wrapped the derma wrap around his arms.

“Okay, I think you should be good now.” You breathed, shoulders relaxing as he stood, examining your handiwork blankly while you hurriedly began to pack your supplies up.

“I don’t think you have much to worry about otherwise, and once again I’m sorry for not being able to do-”

Your eyes widened as he began to peel off his clothing, your arms automatically rising in defense; cowering behind the little protection they provided.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, don’t hurt me please!”

The automatic words were barely understandable, leaving you in a fast, jumbled mess. Illumi stared at you in confusion, his tattered shirt still in his hands.

“Is this not your form of payment?”

Your shoulders relaxed slightly as you peeked out, your own confusion knitting across your brow at his statement, “Payment?”

“Yes,” Illumi confirmed, retaking his seat on your couch, “whenever Hisoka comes to you, you treat him, and once you are finished you two engage in sexual activities, from what I have gathered from what has been retold to me.” - the casualness of his tone made you flinch - “So I believed that was your form of payment for your services.”

The way he said it was so… detached. Like what he was saying was simply a matter of business being conducted, and nothing more.

To be frank, it horrified you.

“No,” you responded, fully lowering your arms to your side, shaking your head at his claim. “No, Hisoka and I have no such arrangement. He doesn’t pay me anything.”

“Eh?” Illumi tilted his head, bits of his dark locks falling in front of his face. “Well this will not do at all, how much do you normally charge for your services?”

You didn’t know what it was about that sentence that made you chuckle, but it bloomed into a full bodied laugh; tears springing to your eyes as you clutched your sides. Illumi continued to stare at you through your little fits until your laughter had died down, now only coming in short bursts of giggles.

“Mr. Zoldyck,” -you wiped a stray tear from your eye, giving him a small broken smile- “I don’t charge anything. I never have. I’m not a medically trained professional, my skills are only the result of a few first aid courses I took for my own safety and for previous jobs.”

“Illumi is fine.” He responded, pulling out his phone, beginning to type with one hand, “I shall send you compensation for the inconvenience I have caused you as well as of the damage to your home. What is your number?”

“It’s just a fallen bookshelf, Illumi, it’s fine-”

“I believe 30 million jenny is reasonable, is that sufficient?”

Your jaw hit the floor as you gaped at him.

You were stunned to say the least.

You stuttered out the number to your cell phone, still in a state of shock, “I… I don’t know what to say, sir, thank you.”

“Your gratitude is unnecessary, and once again it’s Illumi,” -he said simply, pocketing the phone in his pants- “you should receive the transfer shortly.”

All you could do was nod as you processed all of what just happened, the rustling of Illumi’s clothing as he redressed himself becoming background noise.

You ran a hand down your face, pausing over your mouth as you tried to figure out just exactly what to do next.

30 million. That was a lot of money, more than what you could properly explain away without finding some kind of excuse. The lottery was always a good go-to, but if you claimed that and word got out, then you’d have “friends” and “family” coming out of the woodwork, and you didn’t need that kind of hassle added to your already complicated life.

You could say that it was inheritance, after all you did have a fairly large extended family…

Only problem with that route was that Hisoka more than likely kept tabs on everyone connected to you.

Panic shot through your system at the reminder of the man, frantic eyes snapping back to reality and searching the living room for Illumi.

He was gone. Shit.

“Illumi?!” you nearly tripped over your own feet as you ran out of the living room, looking up and down the halls of your house desperately before landing on him, his hand hovering over the doorknob to your front door. You stopped a few feet short of him, heart still pounding in your ears from your initial anxiety.

“He can’t know you were here. Hisoka, I mean.” You fidgeted with your hands, unsure how to properly word the thoughts in your head. “If… if you ever need to see me again, you need to warn me you’re coming. No matter how serious your injuries are.”

You laughed nervously, offering the assassin a small hopeful smile.

Illumi blinked, studying you for a moment. Why you would be so worried about his associate was completely unknown to him. Well not entirely true, it was obvious he had mistreated you in some way, but that was no concern of his. Your request of him informing you as to when he would be coming could eventually prove inconvenient, however the subtle invitation that you were willing to treat him in the future would more than make up for it. If necessary, he could use the leverage of Hisoka’s ignorance against you if that were to change.

He hummed lightly, satisfied with his own reasoning as his lips twitching up slightly in a microscopic smile, meeting your own misguided one. 

“Of course.”

-----

Please tell me if you find Illumi ooc, as well as your thoughts. Yes there will be more parts in the future. 💛

Tag List: @prettycutebunny, @my-child-gaara, @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes, @shorkbrian, @mynameseri, @trash-writings, @biby-24k, @ao-writes-filth

[doodlesnchaos]

Age Gap

Summary: Multiversal Mayhem AU. In which the age ranking between the three is actually found.

TW: Mild alcohol mention, tiny swearing.

Important Note: The law I talk about is something from my state, in which you can drink as a minor under the supervision+privacy of your parent/legal guardians home. I do not encourage illegal underage drinking.

————————————————

The feeling of familiarity was somewhat comforting to Anne, yet at the same time it didn’t feel completely right. Of course there were some parallels.

Marcy hung upside-down over the back of the couch, scribbling away within a notebook, as though the position was perfectly natural. The whole upside-down thing seemed to be this Marcy’s thing, Anne had come to hypothesis.

Sasha on the other hand was sitting half cross-legged on the floor, the occasional handled tool between his teeth as he fiddled with a piece of his suit. Anne held back the urge to snicker as she noticed he had the same scowl of annoyance towards an inanimate object.

Beyond that, she was merely trying to put her focus on the television, not as though she heard anything from it. Rather it gave something for her to keep her gaze on as she got lost within her own thoughts. Which in particular, mostly consisted of what was occurring and how to remedy it, second was how was she was going to repair her suit again.

That amongst other things kept her mind occupied, least it did till she felt a lingering gaze on herself. Shaking her head, pulling back into reality, noticing Sasha’s studying expression.

“Do you drink?” came the blunt question after a moment, causing Anne to frown slightly in bewilderment out the fact it came out of nowhere.

It certainly seemed to catch Marcy’s attention, as they lifted themself upright, attempting to balance as they sat.

“Why would you even—she’s seventeen!”

“Eighteen and a half!” Anne correctly semi-defensively, half offended.

“I was just curious.” Sasha retorted, hands raised in partial surrender, abadoning tools in his lap.

Marcy raised a brow, gaze staying on the other. “Are you able to drink then?”

“Mostly yes.”

“How can it be mostly yes?” Anne questioned in confusion.

“Means that I can—with certain legal permission.”

“So you’re a law-breaker.”

“It is not breaking the law when there is a loophole literally stated in the law.”

“Yeah? How old are you.”

“Twenty.”

Anne did a slight doubletake at the answer, pausing to regather herself. “You’re twenty. Seriously?”

The deadpan expression Sasha gave in response gave all the answers she needed.

“How old are you?” Anne questioned Marcy, who seemed to have been just as surprised by an expression at the previous answer.

“Twenty-one.” Marcy answered simply. Anne was once again taken by surprise, contrary to Sasha, who had an offended expression.

“Are you fucking serious.”

“Language.”

“I get nothing in this world.” Sasha went on with a huff, hands tossed into the air as he fell onto his back, causing the other two to snicker, each far too used to the dramaticness.

“No girlfriends, a malfunctioning suit, my favorite restaurant doesn’t even exist here, not even the oldest, I'm the damn middle child.” he went on, one hand in the air as he ticked each thing off with a finger.

“That explains a lot. You’re the reason we have the rules.” Marcy snickered, beyond amused by the situation.

“Sorry Sash’ but Marcy has a point.” Anne added, with a snicker of her own, more than eager to antagonize the other.

The response was the two getting flipped off, causing Marcy to feint offense as Anne giggled, unsurprised.

“You dare insult your elders like that. I’m wounded! Wounded I say!” Marcy declared, holding a hand over her heart.

“Halt deinen mund.” Sasha huffed, unmoving from his starfished position.

Anne snickered as Marcy held an amused look still. These two were definitely going to keep her on her toes.

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Demon Alya AU: Half a Soul by crisisdparity

Max raised an eyebrow at what his classmate was saying. “You want me to barter my ‘soul’ for ‘safekeeping’?” “Well… basically,” Juleka admitted. “I must admit this is a novel approach. Usually when I come across ‘sell your soul’ scams, they’re promising things like wealth, power, intellect, or greater sexual endowments. This is the first I have heard of someone wanting my ‘soul’ for the purpose of keeping it ‘safe’. I feel a need to ask why.” “Yeah, those things were probably scams, just not in the way you thought… Basically, there’s a… demon… that has targeted our class with the intent to take their souls through bargain or trickery and make them into her slaves. My… benefactor… and I want to stop her.” “And you concluded that the best way to prevent her from getting our ‘souls’ was if you already had them.” “In a nutshell.” “Such an action would be in character with what I have observed of you in the past, presuming your portrayal of the situation is accurate. However, I shall first need proof that souls exist and can be taken to even consider this agreement possible. If you can provide such proof, I shall of course have further questions on the mechanics behind such a thing.” “Yeah, we figured. You doubt the existence of souls, which makes it that much harder to trick you out of yours. The problem is the demon we’re worried about is apparently very good at pushing people’s buttons without getting caught and we don’t have the time to do this subtly. So… we’ve prepared a demonstration if you can promise to keep everything discreet.” “Very well, let me get Markov yo record this for my own records and review.” “I hope you understand that this information is very… sensitive.” “I will instruct Markov to engage ‘client confidentiality’ protocols. No one but us will know what transpires here.” —— Alya tried not to squirm as Max seemed to dissect her entire explanation with his gaze. “You’re claiming that Marinette managed to unknowingly cause a literal demon to pull a Heel-Face Turn simply by being a good friend?” “Er…” Alya fidgeted. “Yes?” Max nodded. “I find this imminently plausible.” “You do?” “Of course. Marinette is one of the friendliest people I know. If anyone could redeem a literal demon of Jell through the power of friendship, it would be her.” “So you agree to, Er, loan us your soul for safekeeping until it is safe for us to return it?” “If you can provide sufficient evidence for the existence of a soul and your ability to collect it, I will agree to a 24-hour trial basis with Markov monitoring me. If Markov detects any significant negative deviation in my demeanor by the time my soul is returned at the end of this agreed timeframe, the deal is off. If this is completed successfully, we will discuss further terms at that time.” “That’s my cue,” Juleka said. “Alya, I agree to relinquish my soul to you in exchange for its return in an unaltered state ten seconds later.” “Agreed,” Alya accepted as she plunged her hand into Juleka’s chest and withdrew an orb the size of a billiard ball that swirled with purples, indigos, and a streak of solid brilliant golden light. ��Fascinating.” Alya then began tickling it. “Hey!” Juleka protested as she fought against the giggles this action induced. “S-stop that!” “Nope! Mine for five more seconds!” Five seconds later, after much uncontrollable laughter on Juleka’s part, Alya put her soul back and turned to Max. “Is that proof enough?” “While I still have my doubts, it is good enough for now. I will agree to you taking custody of my soul for precisely 24-hours after which it will be returned. I will make no other conditions and instead judge your intentions - as recorded and analyzed by Markov - by what you do with such open-ended permissions. If Markov judges that I am in any way compromised by your possession of my soul, the it shall be Markov who decides whether to accept or reject any further deals between me or any other demon.” “Wait, would that even work?” Juleka asked. “I’m honestly not sure,” Alya admitted. “I don’t think anyone downstairs

ever considered third party involvement in soul deals before… I guess we’ll find out together?” “I suppose in the interest of mutual discovery we must proceed as-is.” “Guess so,” Alya said as she stuck her hand into Max’s chest and tugged. And tugged. And tugged some more. All to no effect. “What seems to be the matter?” “Your soul is… stuck,” Alya finished lamely before withdrawing her hand from Max’s chest in defeat. “Stuck.” “Forgive me,” Juleka interjected, “but how does a soul get ‘stuck’?” “It doesn’t! Shouldn’t! It’s like… like half his soul just isn’t there!” “You are saying that you can’t take my soul because half of it is already gone? That makes no sense.” “No, it’s… You can’t just ‘take’ someone’s soul. Their soul is literally them in basically every way that counts. A person’s soul is bound to them as strongly as anything can be bound to anything. To take it, you either have to get the person to voluntarily relinquish that bond (whether they realize it or not) or you have to get them to commit a sin that is contrary to their sense of self to ‘loosen’ the bond (it helps if the sin is aligned to your demonic essence). It can actually get pretty nuanced because virtuous people are harder to convince to sin, while habitual sinners need a comparatively bigger sin to ‘knock their soul loose’. Having just half your soul means that the rest is anchored somewhere else, which means that I would need to loosen THAT bond as well before it will go anywhere!” “What I’m hearing is that our… other demon… isn’t going to have any more luck taking Max’s soul that we are.” “Well, yeah, but I just don’t understand!” Alya threw her hands in the air. “I mean, I’ve heard of this kind of thing, but it’s so rare it’s like an infernal urban legend! Sure you get artists ‘putting their soul into their work’ all the time, but that’s like a sliver at most! Something barely missed and easily restored in a week tops with a halfway decently healthy lifestyle! The number of people who can fully dedicate that much of their soul to ANYTHING are almost unheard of, and the side effects would have been debilitating! Forget the effort you put into your video games, this would have had to be on the level of a magnum opus the likes of which could never be repeated in your lifetime and involving an effort that would have nearly killed you!” “Max was hospitalized from acute exhaustion after completing my construction and programming,” Markov supplied. “He was placed on three months of required bed rest and fluids before he was declared fit to return to school and was on a strict enforced sleep and rest schedule for a year before doctors proclaimed him fully recovered.” Alya, Juleka, and Max all blinked. “I recall that. I remember feeling like it had all been worth it because you were completed.” “I too am grateful to have been completed.” “Yeah,” Alya admitted after a moment, “that would probably do it.”

-

RIpp nice job!

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi Logan, how do I even start? Save this number, if you want to. I have been supporting Remy through texts for a bit. They have revealed to me some very troubling things in the past. Things like, their boyfriend kicking their cane from under them as a ‘joke’? Those kinds of things.

Virgil, that's his name by the way, also kind of yells at them a lot at times, and tells them they're worthless except for the use he can give to their body and that nobody else will ever love them. They believe they are horrible. They believe they deserve it. They appear to think their disability makes them only a burden to him and nothing else and while I have tried to convince them to the contrary I honestly don't believe I can when they're still trapped by choice in such a toxic environment.

I have tried to help and give them the tools to better their self-esteem and combat that, and send them nice text messages in general, but that hasn't helped in anything more than a superficial level. If you can do something, anything, or could take their case to someone who can something, I'd really appreciate that.

(Words: 2088)

(Talk of U!Virgil)

Logan: "That is...That is" He took a moment to gather himself "That is even worse than I had estimated"

"This must have been happening the other times we met them too right? And we didn't notice anything. We should have- we-" Patty mumbled out. Her voice was shaky.

She had just gotten home half an hour ago or so, she wasn't even fully out of her cosplay makeup. Logan had immediately pulled her into a hug which wasn't uncommon but he'd held onto her so hard it hurt and he’d been close to collapsing into the hug.

All it took was her asking if he was alright for him to tell her everything. He couldn't keep a secret from her even if he tried.

Now they sat in the couch. Logan had his head leaned on her chest and she had moved her arms around his waist. All they'd eaten was some of the leftover pie from Lo's date a few days ago because both of them were far too worked up to even think about cooking.

Patty pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to think "Okay well if they're being emotionally abused as what we know suggest then...I..is there even anyone we can contact that could help. I mean there's no- there's no evidence right? Or well- it's just- it's their word against Virgil's and if they won't even say Virgil is abusing them then there's nothing!"

"We can kidnap them" Logan pointed out.

"That we can"

Logan sighed “Do you think talking to them would even make a difference? They seem to already hate me so now it’s even less likely that they’ll listen”

“Well honey you can always try. They go to the same therapist as Janus right? So you can just casually ‘run into them’ right?” She gave him a loving kiss “I know my lil smarty-sweetheart can help them”

He sent her a tired smile “I’ll try”

--

Remy wasn’t as upset from the therapy session as they usually were. It had mostly been discussing how they felt about maybe being poly. They still thought they deserved a smoke break afterwards though so now they sat on bench right outside the entrance, they were on their third cigarette.

They had their head leaned against the back of the bench and was looking up at the greying sky and falling leaves so they didn’t notice when Logan sat down. He kept his distance to not startle them but cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Are you also waiting for someone?” He asked.

They glanced over to him “Girl go fuck yourself with a rake”

“Noted. I will put it in my calender. I for one am here to pick up Janus after his therapy is over for the day. Mayhaps I will show him some more star trek”

“Okay great gal. Then I’m just like waiting for Remus I guess” They pressed the cigarette into their leather jacket to put it out so they could leave as soon as they saw their cru- friend.

Logan inched closer “Is your bruise healing well?”

“Just ‘cause we’re in the same place doesn’t mean we have to talk to each other!” They snapped back.

“Exscuse me, I was simply worried about your physical health”

They rolled their eyes and crossed their arms before mumbling out “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I haven’t done it again so like forget it” 

“I am relieved to hear that”

Silence fell over them. Remy refused to look at him. Logan tried to figure out what was the best way to ask them about Virgil.

“....Your boyfriend did not insult you once you came home right?” He asked them in such a soft tone as if any slight wrong saying would make them implode on themself.

“Girl there you go again with your stupid fucking bullshit. I don’t wanna like talk about it!....Not ‘cause anything happened but ‘cause I hate you! You don’t- we don’t- we’re not friends! Why are you just like forcing yourself in on my private life! It’s like- it’s like fucking stalking!”

Logan reached out his hand to comfort them but quickly stopped himself “I am sorry. I don’t know how to best formulate this but I sincerely don’t mean to upset you like, neither do I know how to not upset you. All I know is that I want you to be okay and that if my partner treated me like yours seem to do I wouldn’t be able to stay”

Remy’s hair fell in front of their face as they leant their head in their plams “You don’t get it” They muttered.

“I am sure I don-”

“IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY! It’s not like I have any savings an-and I’m not able to keep a job and without Virgil I have no way to buy medicine and- Like do you just want me to walk out and become homeless and like starve to death? Is that it? Like even if I wanted to leave, which I don’t, It’s not like I have a choice!”

A quiet sniffle came from them. Logan gave them a moment to gather their breathe.

“I...I didn’t mean to make it sound like leaving was easy” Logan murmured “I understand that you have probably been forced to think like you have no choice but to stay. I am aware of how crippling manipulation like that can be” 

He leaned closer and even though they didn’t look at him he still sent them his most caring look as he continued.

“But I promise you that there are other options. You aren’t stuck. I am willing to let you stay at my apartment for however long you need and if you aren’t comfortable with that I am sure Janus or Remus would let you stay as well. I can even pay for a motel if that would be better. Depending on what part of your disability is making you unable to work I am sure that could be fixed. For example a wheelchair could help! My point is that you do have a choice, even if it’s very understandably hard to think that”

Remy’s shoulders were shaking. Logan gently placed his hand on top of their bony shoulder. Every vein was visible through their light skin.

At just the hint of his touch they flinched away. They stumbled up from the bench and took a few steps away. They looked at him with reddened eyes.

“No. No. Girl you- you just don’t get it! That’s all!” They spat out, their voice was shaky as well “You haven’t like lived with me. Once you or Remus o-or anyone spends enough time with me you’ll realize what an annoying overemotional burden I am! An-and then I’ll get thrown out! Okay!? So-so it’s not really- I don’t actually have a choice ‘cause I’ll just get thrown out. Virgil is the only who will ever bother to deal with me for this long! ‘cause he loves me! And no one else will love me like he does. S-so just shut up!”

Logan stood up as well and took an unsure step towards them. They looked so weak, as if a single push from the wind would make them crumble. 

“It’s okay. I hear what you are saying” Logan assured.

“An-and it’s like- Virgil needs me! And I need him! That’s like how it works! I can’t just leave him! What if- who will calm him down from his panic attacks?! And if I leave what if he gets s-so upset and like anxious he hurts himself! He’s said there was a chance he would!! I can’t risk it! I have to stay! He needs me! I-I need- I can’t- I can’t leave”

Logan nodded along “It’s okay. I understand. I understand”

“You don’t! You’re a idiotic bitch! I hope all your stupid fucking ties get destroyed in the washer!” Remy was close to yelling.

“Harsh but I see your point. To be honest everything you have said has made me even more worried. From my experience a relationship shouldn’t make you feel this way! It shouldn’t make you come up with reasons to stay! It shouldn’t hurt you!” Logan reached out to comfort them once more. “I promise it shouldn’t hurt”

“It’s not hurting me! YOU are hurting me!”

Logan was taken aback. He didn’t know what to say. His arms moved to hang helplessly along his sides. Remy opened their mouth to say something more but then

“Hey uh what’s going on? Are you roleplaying a death match?” Remus stood in the entrance to the building. He glanced between the two of them.

“This idiot is trying to destroy my relationship!” Remy exclaimed.

“While it is not my place to explain the full situation without their permission I can assure you that I am merely worrying for their mental and physical health and I am unsure if their relationship is good for them from what I’ve heard” Logan explained.

Remus barely even hesitated before moving in front of Remy. He moved his arms out and let them lean against him to catch their breathe, like he was a human shield protecting them from Logan. 

Logan hadn’t seen Remus angry before and he didn’t look fully enraged, but there was a hint of anger in eyes as he sneered at him.

“Well I’m sorry Loganson but not every relationship is totally perfect and works without any arguments like you and your wife relationship apparently does!” He spat out.

“I can assure you that me and my wife’s relationship hasn’t been argument free but that doesn’t mean I have ever even thought about insulting her like Remy’s boyfriend seemingly ha-”

“You’re not Remy!” Remus snapped “You’re a guy who dresses like a 40 year old math teacher who is losing the children in the divorce! Leave them alone!” 

Remy was bordering on cowering behind Remus. Their whole body seemed to shake as a few tears spilled down their cheeks. They met Logan’s eyes.

“If the bullshit you’re saying is true, which it like isn’t but if it was that- that means I’ve spent my whole life being abused” They forced out through tears “How can you Ever you expect me to live with that?”

Logan didn’t have an answer to that. He watched on as Remus placed his hands on Remy’s shoulders and gently guided them to turn away. He bonked their foreheads together and wiped their tears away.

“C’mon beanie-boo I can take you to the amusement park to cheer you up! Or we can find some lsd and get high so you can hallucinate beating the shit out of the stinky Log guy!” Remus exclaimed as they walked away.

A headache began to form in Logan’s head as he slumped back down on the bench. He stared out at the nearly empty parking lot. He didn’t understand what he did wrong. 

He wished he could talk to Virgil. He wished he could see him eye to eye and chew him out for ever making Remy feel like a burden, for ever making them feel trapped. A part of him wanted to punch him.

He was so zoned out into the overthinking he didn’t realize how much time was passing until Janus got out from his therapy session. As soon as Jan saw his boyfriend he let up into a shining smile and hurried over to him.

“Hi dear! Aww did you miss me so much you had to come pick me up! How charming!” Janus hesitated before kissing Logan on the lips. It still made him all giggly.

Normally seeing him so giddy would have made Logan overabundant with happiness....but now all he could think about was if he should tell Janus about Remy’s situation or not. They were friends right? Could it help? Would they listen to their friend?

Logan’s head hurt so bad. None of it made sense. There was no logical answer. How Janus reacted could make everything worse. He didn’t want to ruin everything more than he already had.

“Darling? Are you feeling alright? Has something happened?” Janus asked while taking his hand.

“I....I....” Logan looked over to you.

Logan: “I am so sorry to do this but do you have any idea what to do? The human emotion and it’s reactions are so illogical I don’t- I don’t understand- I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry- Should I tell Janus about the suspected abuse or should I lie?”

[devildom-tyrant]

Hi! I wanted to ask how the brothers would react to MC leaving the Devildom? Whether it be for a short time and then they come back or they don’t come back is up to you! Thanks and I love your work! 😊

I was gonna do a short bit featuring all the bros so I can get out some feels while we’re waiting for the next chapter, but these first three got kinda long, so I’m gonna go ahead and post them for the queue before I go to bed so you guys have some new content to read from me.  I usually try to do 3 or 4 of the guys per imagine when they get lengthy, so I hope these three are okay!

*Your year is up, and you’ve gone back to the human realm, with a promise to see the demon brothers again.  Luckily, your DDD still works there.

Lucifer

He becomes increasingly more agitated the longer you’re gone.  He manages to hold out for two weeks before he makes an excuse to go up to the Human Realm alone -- something that Diavolo notices, and makes a few not-so-subtle comments about toward Lucifer later.

He asks to see you, and when you say yes, you get a short reply:  “Come outside.”

Unsurprisingly, Lucifer is standing there, his expression tense until he sees you.  

“I didn’t think I’d see you so soon,” you admit, but no sooner are the words from past your lips before you find yourself gasping when he pulls you against his chest.  

He’s silent, but his arms are firm.  “Lucifer?”  You’re so close that you know he can feel your heart hammering, even as you grip the edges of his cloak.

“It doesn’t feel right without you.”

The words are murmured softly -- hesitantly.  You’re not even sure you heard him right at first, so you hum quizzically in the back of your throat, trying to pull back to see his face.

“I don’t like this feeling,” he states louder, his words finding their footing.  “I’m not someone that ever feels this way.”

“What way?” you implore, finally pushing back with your palms against his chest to meet his shadowed gaze.  

“Like something’s missing.  There’s this hollow feeling in my chest without you around every day.  You shouldn’t be here.  You belong by my side.”

Your head is spinning.  You had been playing a video game moments before, and now you feel as if you’re getting a love confession -- which, come to think of it, you practically did right before you left.  Is this a follow-up to that?  Something more concrete?

“Are you saying I should come back?  My time is over, so I didn’t think I could right now.”

“I don’t give a damn about having you as a transfer student,” he claims, the words coming out in a rush.  “We made a pact.  You’re mine.”  

Lucifer’s mouth crashes against yours in the next moment, cutting off any rebuttal you might’ve had.  You find yourself melting under the heat of the kiss, clinging to his shoulders as your lips part in surrender to his tongue.  He doesn’t need to say anything more; you know what he really means, what he feels for you.  You’ll have a decision to make, your own feelings to consider, once you break apart, but for now... 

For now, you let the devil himself kiss you beneath the streetlights, holding you close and soothing the ache in your heart from where you desperately missed him, too.

Mammon

The avatar of Greed doesn’t even make it a week before he’s decided to go to the Human Realm -- alone.  It isn’t as easy for him as it is for Lucifer.  He can’t come and go as he pleases, he isn’t about to ask Diavolo for permission, and he doesn’t feel like walking through the eight layers of Devildom... although it’s tempting, considering the alternative.

A text came through your DDD:

“It’s not like I miss you or anything, but can’t you summon me?  We’re in a pact!  You should be practicing your skills while you’re away!”

Try as you could, though, you were unable to summon Mammon, adding to his frustration.  He really was lonely without you, and he felt too down to even try out a get rich quick scheme.  

On the contrary, he found himself wiring the very witches he owed money to even more Grimm one evening.   The summoning worked, but unfortunately, he discovered that he was in an entirely different country from you -- and he didn’t have human cash to travel.  He hadn’t thought that far ahead.  

It only added to his misery, being so close and yet so far away.  He returned to the Devildom, to the jeers of his brothers, who didn’t like being left out of his plan.

You could sense how bad he felt through his texts and late-night phone calls where he just wanted to hear your voice.  After two weeks, you started exchanging selfies and calling him twice a day.  His texts became clingier, and he found himself lying in your old bed late at night, when his brothers were asleep, hoping to catch some comfort in the fading scent of your shampoo.

One night, you got a text that surprised you.

“I really miss you.  A lot.  I wish you were here.”

Mammon had dropped the veneer of tsundere deflection that he’d kept up even after you kissed.  

You could still hear his words ringing in your ears from that night:

   Why doncha just stay here from now on?  Who needs the human world?  Don’t go back there.

   I want you here with ME, all the time.

You’d left, despite that, not thinking you really had a choice.  But, to be honest, things hadn’t felt the same after you were gone a year.  Life had moved on without you, and you...

Your thumb tapped out a response.

“Then I’ll come back.”

He started and stopped typing several times.  Finally, you got back, “SERIOUSLY?”

“If you really want me to.”

Again, several moments passed as he erased and retyped a reply several times.  “If that’s what YOU want, too.”

“Yeah.  Yeah, it is.  But how?”

“I’ll find a way.  I’ll talk to Lucifer and Diavolo if I have to.”

With that, Mammon dashed up to Lucifer’s room in the middle of the night, forgetting his fear of being strung from the ceiling for a millennia for disturbing his sleep.  

Levi

You and Levi continue to text every day, and honestly, your relationship doesn’t seem any different.  The downside is that you can’t play video games together, and you don’t get any of the Devildom TV shows or anime that you had been binging together late at night.  You don’t really sense a change until one day, he doesn’t text you as much.

In actuality, Levi had been pretty down ever since you returned to the Human Realm.  He came out of his room even less than usual, and skipped meals unless he could bring them to his computer.  He still had his group of gaming buddies to play with, but he found himself missing the ability to just go to your room or have you show up to his.  He missed the connection, the times you’d rest your head on his shoulder or push his arm.  

And he was incredibly jealous of all the humans that would get to spend that time with you instead.  

You sent him a text about Mononoke Land -- something you don’t have access to anymore -- and instead of the lengthy text spam about the latest spirit, you saw him begin to type and stop several times.

An hour later, you finally got a text back:

“I’ll see you again, right?”  

It makes your chest ache to see that text, and you can feel your eyes watering.  You miss him; you really do.

“Of course you will.  I wanna come back as soon as I can.”

“Then come back soon.  OH, and don’t forget to bring me --”

The text goes into a list of anime merch that he wants you to pick up, most of which is out of your budget, but you decide that you’ll order some online.  He cheers up a little as the texts continue, but you can tell that he’s missing you as much as you miss him.  You never did get a chance to convince him that your kiss was more than just a trope coincidence, and you endeavor to prove that to him next time.  

Starting by sending him a cosplay selfie of you as his favorite character.

[sky-of-dusk]

Kyouya and leadership

Kyouya is the leader of the gang. I'm not talking about the Face Hunter (even if it's also true), but about our beloved bladers.

He is shown as a natural leader. First, there are the Face Hunters. We can think them as only followers, but they wanted to follow Kyouya. They didn't really care about the Face Hunter thing, or stealing Bey-point. They didn't do anything while he was in the Wolf Canyon. They just waited for him to come back, because they were genuinely fond of Kyouya.

"Without you, the Face Hunter were pretty much baseless." - episode 9

"Come on. Bring me our Kyouya, please, the cool one." - episode 10

"If only Kyouya was here to guide us ! He, at least, is a true leader." - episode 11

At first, we could think Benkei only said this because he admires Kyouya. But when Kyouya decided to come with Ginga, Benkei, Kenta and Madoka to confront Doji, they let him lead immediately. Despite most of them had only see him being the leader of the Face Hunter and cracking up after the Wolf Canyon. Logically, they shouldn't have been so prompt to follow him, even if Ginga truly believe in his blader's spirit from the very first time he met his eyes.

Kyouya appeared and everyone was like "Great! Everything will be fine from now on!". He took almost all decisions when they infiltrate the Dark Nebula Castle, as soon as he arrived, and the others followed him. No one even thought to protest. And Ginga, who wasn't very comfortable letting his friends coming with him, didn't even say a world about Kyouya being here. He trusted him completely.

Then, there was the travel to Koma. Kyouya didn't seem to know how to react in front of Benkei's, Kenta's and Madoka's behavior. But it changed when they finally reached Koma. He reminded them they were here to help Ginga and said he would go where he's no matter what.

The Wild Fang followed him. From the very beginning, Nile took his decisions according to Kyouya's words and actions. He even changed his mind, despite not being easy to influence.

When Kyouya came back to fight the Spiral Force, he took the lead again. He brought his Wild Fang and they splitted up to help the one they feel more linked at. He didn't ask permission to go to the Hades City, contrary to the others, and only waited for them to take their decision. As soon they got near to the city, he took back his leader's role. He helped everyone who needed help (Masamune and Dashan, for example), he gave orders and hurried Ginga when he hesitated. He fought Damian to let Ginga and Masamune do the final stages, but it was HIS decision, and he ordered them to keep going.

The same happened with the legendary bladers quest. Kyouya decided to come along and everyone (except Yuuki) was happy to see him. The group spent most of their time running after him. He shut up Yuuki when he annoyed him, told Madoka what kind of informations she had to search and said what they had to do next. They didn't protest (well, Yuuki would have liked, but he didn't dare too... and even if Kyouya's behavior bothered Madoka once or twice, she still obeyed). They did as they were told.

And Ginga, the show’s hero, doesn’t mind at all. He follows Kyouya happily, while he can’t stand the idea of Masamune being the leader of the Gan Gan Galaxy.

Kyouya is also the one who sets things in motion. He's the one who said first he was going to participate to the Battle Bladers (forcing Ginga to consider this as a tournament and not only a way to get his revenge), the one who makes everyone move in the first part of Fury and the one who has the idea to give Leone's power to Ginga.

[hakutaichou]

[TC] Kiss Day

🦋🎹 This one-shot novel was created by @nachi_neko4 [ 那智♘🦋] (Nachi) on Twitter. Nachi-san, thank you for giving me a permission to translate your wonderful novels. 🎹🦋

Source: here

Illustrations by @hasu_koipro [ はすの ] based on this one-shot novel: here.

⛔️PLEASE DON’T REPOST! ⛔️

Warning Letter from Captain Gavin: “Suggestive!”🚨

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“It’s pretty crowded...”

I heard there’s a new bar which has a good reputation, so I came to try it out, but the inside of the bar was more eye-catching than I expected. While being a little overwhelmed, by the people who enjoyed drinking all over the area, I looked around.

Blue lights dropped on the white-based counter with stools, as if you were in the deep sea, not surprising that I can feel a mysterious and cozy atmosphere here.

When looking further, there’s a wide open floor in the back there, on the contrary, the lighting was dimmed, and changed the color-based of the table seat to black.

In the space reminiscent of the deep sea, the dartboard mounted on the wall gives off a faint light and looks like a moonlight that illuminates the sea at night.

 “Indeed, it’s a neat bar”

I sit down at the counter for the time being, and ask for a low-frequency cocktail. It's almost time for the appointment with Lucien.

The moment I took a sip of the beautiful purple liquid that shines in the atmosphere of the bar, a smartphone that I put on the table trembled.

Lucien's name shows on the screen. It may not be heard clearly in a lively atmosphere like this. I should go outside once..., I stood up without looking behind me, which was my fault.

“Ahh!”

“Eh!?”

I didn't think that there was someone right behind me.

The liquor from the glass that belonged to that person who tried to avoid me was spilled, and wet his clothes.

“I’m sorry!”

I hurriedly pulled out a handkerchief from my bag and tried to wipe his wet pants, but...

“Huh..., seriously?”

I think I've heard that certain voice from somewhere.

It can’t be... . And I try to raise my head.

“Shaw!?”

“You’re too noisy, I can hear you even if you don’t make such a loud voice like that”

He is in a bad mood with a big face. I can clearly tell it.

“Why are you here?...rather than that, your clothes!”

The amount was less than I expected, and it didn't get soaked so much. But I'm the one who's wrong here, and when I tried to wipe it, he suddenly grabbed my wrist.

“Eh, hey, let me go”

“What should I do with, this. I have an important business talk after this”

“That’s why I’m trying to wipe it! I can’t wipe if you don’t let my hand go”

“Do you really think it’s your fault?”

“It is!” 

“Hmm...In that so, you should take responsibility properly”

“I’ll take it!...huh?”

Tit for tat.

No, it may be a little different. However, I regretted it a little bit because I said it with force.

“I’ve heard it well. you’ll listen to what I say, won’t you?”

“How come? I didn’t say that I’ll listen to you, and I have a promise…”

“What if I have a promise too?”

If it came out, it would be lost for words.

“Okay. What should I do?”

“I want you to say this. You’re pretty ugly”

“Huh!?”

I didn’t know since when he was in a good mood, as if he was enjoying it, Shaw smirked and looked into me.

“Wait, first of all, let go of my arm...”

Shaw tried to shake off my grabbed arm and pulled it hard, as taking advantage of my reaction, he narrowed our distance.

��Besides, you’re surprisingly bold”

“It was…!”

“You can leave that aside, right?”

Suddenly, a familiar voice fell overhead, and I was strongly drawn to the back.

“Lucien!”

His large chest catches my back, and a warmth slowly relaxes my body.

“I’m sorry, but. She has an appointment with me”

In front of Lucien who lives casually, Shaw bluntly says “The trouble has come”, but he still happily raised his eyebrows, and put his hands which had lost their place into his pocket.

“Or, did she do something?”

“I think you've seen it all, don’t you?”

“So?”

“Of course, she’ll take the responsibility and go out with me after this, don't you mind?”

“If I said I refuse?”

“Don’t answer the question with a question. It’s so annoying”

“You’re the one who returned it first”

“Hmm--- damn. If so, that. Let’s compete using that”

Shaw pointed to the darts, on the back of the floor with his chin.

“Hurry up”

Shaw, who didn’t hear our answer, started walking away. Lucien said nothing and walked along while holding my waist.

“Lucien...”

“It’s okay, don't worry about anything.”

“But, you don’t have to do this competition”

“What are you babbling about?”

Shaw is already standing in front of the dartboard, pretending to throw his soft-tip dart.

“Even though I know, but if I win, you have to go out with me today”

The tip of the dart caught me, and I took a deep breath.

“Hey, even if you didn’t do this thing, I’ll pay your cleaning fee...”

When I said that, Lucien’s hand was stretched out in front of me, which made me unable to continue my words.

“I’m pretty impatient without coke”

“You, are a veteran, aren’t you? I can see it. I won’t be kind to a guy like you”

“What a coincidence, me too. In that case, what rules do we use to compete? Count Up?, or Zero One?”

“We won’t do such a troublesome thing like that. The one who can lands on the triple 20 is the winner"

“That rule is simple. Alright, I don’t want to spend my time for doing this thing either”

“It helps me that you’re a fast learner”

“I’m honored by your kind words”

Shaw laughed at Lucien’s irony, he held the tip dart diagonally and threw it with a clean, lean movement towards the dartboard.

One-throw, two-throw with an alternative throw, both of them got their specific target without difficulty.

Meanwhile, I can only stare at the battle between two people without knowing it. Seemingly I was unconsciously clenching my hands, but suddenly I thought that Lucien’s gaze stopped at me, he approached me, grabbed my hand, and gently dropped his lips onto it.

“Lucien…”

“Don’t be so nervous. Leave it to me”

When I was dozing off by his words, he laughed softly and this time he kissed my forehead.

“Wha, damn. I missed it.”

When I raised my head towards Shaw’s voice, the tip of the third throw was slightly misaligned and stuck near the border of the next area.

“When someone is throw dart, you’re flirting with her, you don’t have any manner huh”

“For someone who doesn't understand common sense, need something like that?”

As Lucien said that, he threw a tip in a flowing form and brought it down accurately.

“I win”

“Huh, okay-okay, I got it”

“Ah, wait, your cleaning fee…”

“I don’t need it, it’s already dry. But...I’ll take you away seriously next time.”

The moment we passed each other, there were whispered words that only I could hear. My heart, which should have calmed down a little, is pounding again.

“Wha...what was that…”

“He, didn’t seem to be serious about the competition”

While I’m stunned, Lucien sits down and sits me on the table’s sofa.

“It was my fault for getting his clothes dirty, even Lucien got involved...I’m really sorry.”

“You don’t have to worry about it anymore. Instead, my throat is dry so maybe we should drink something”

Lucien stocked my head and called out to a waiter who passed by.

“Even so, it turns out that Lucien is also good at darts”

“A little bit. I haven’t done it that much, but I knew it as knowledge.”

“Eh? That’s why you took that competition!?”

“Yes, I didn’t mean to lose. Of course, darts needs skill, but psychological tactics are more important. Especially for amateurs.”

When he smiled, he pretended to think for a moment.

“That’s right. Would you like, to bet with me?

“Huh, a bet?”

Suddenly, the dark lighting is further darkened.

When I raised my face, I met his face at a close distance in front of me.

I couldn’t find his gentle eyes until a while ago, and his gaze pierced me.

A long, manly hand rests on the back of the sofa, and I can’t move because I’m surrounded. No, maybe even without it I can’t move either.

“Lu, cien...”

“If I brought it down in the middle at once, you are mine forever. ...okay?”

A slightly lower voice echoes near my ear, and flows into my brain.

“What, what if, you miss it?”

“It won’t”

He went to the front of the darts, he held it up and threw a tip without hesitation in the blink of an eye.

A tip dart that makes a rattle noise.

As he said that he won’t miss, the tip pierced the center as if it was sucked in.

“With this, you are mine forever”

He put his hand on the sofa again, his other hand entwined my back hair. Even though I said we’re still in the bar, Lucien kissed me and entangled his tongue deeply.

“Hghnnn…, Lu…”

“Did you think I wasn’t jealous? I might look envious, but I'm actually greedy, didn’t I already say that before?

His finger traces my wet lips. A slightly stiff fingertip followed his chin and slowly slipped down to my neck, involuntarily leaking a small moan. 

"Tell me, who do you belong to?"

"I’m, Lucien's..."

Answering with trembled lips, Lucien squints with full satisfaction, and his faintly illuminated, lustrous lips draw an arc.

"Good, you did it well"

A kiss dropped again.

I saw a waiter behind him who brought a drink, I hurriedly pushed his chest, but he didn't intend to stop kissing me.

[Extra]

"What a shame, are you shaken?"

When Shaw leaves the bar, someone calls him out from the darkness.

It's the same voice he heard in the bar before, but he knew that the owner of this voice was different without looking at it.

"No matter you or her, have a bad personality huh" 

"We're not same each other"

She fluttered her black one-piece dress, and when she lined up before he knew it, she enlace her thin arms as if she were always doing it.

"What are you going to do?"

"Hm, pretend to be a lover?"

"Go ask somewhere else"

"Uhuh, you're so cold"

While saying that with her mouth, her arm can't be unraveled. Her slippery, delicate hand slowly lowered, overlapping Shaw's hand and clenched it tightly. 

"Give it to me normally"

"Why not. Sometimes this kind of thing is fresh, isn't it?"

"I don't need that"

"Oh, mannerism isn't that good, you know?"

When Shaw tried to let go, she was drawn and stretched, closing her eyes and waiting.

"Where's the reward?"

Saying that happily, there's no sign of movement.

Another girl passed by in Shaw's mind for a moment, irritated and drowned out, he dropped a kiss.

With a rough bite, Shaw squeezes a piece of paper in his hand and push it into his pocket.

"...Satisfied?"

"Yeah, because I saw your suffered face"

"Who is suffering? you got it wrong"

Shaw, turns his back while waving his hand when he is done with it.

"...You weren't, the one who tried to break your promise first"

That woman in one-piece black dress' voice, didn't reach him.

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🧾Permission Note🧾

Nachi-san: Hello, good evening 😊 Thank you for your love! Translation! It’s so amazing ∑ (๑ºдº๑)!! It's okay if you include the source 😊👌

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Hasuno-san: Hello, Thank you for the message😊If you post it so that you can understand it as the work I drew, that’s no problem. However, the works published on the R18 list are not allowed. I’m sorry💦 I’m glad you translated this! Thank you😊

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[commentaryvorg]

Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 4 - The New Team of Marcus and Thomas!

This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.

Original name ~ Dubbed name

Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon

Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda

Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein

Sayuri Daimon ~ Sarah Damon

Chika Daimon ~ Kristy Damon

Captain Rentarou Satsuma ~ Commander Richard Sampson

[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]

Marcus:  “My guess is that the Digimon we want is inside.”

Agumon: “Wow, nothing gets past you, does it, Boss?”

Another Agumon line that would be very snarky – this entire building is covered in slime and stinks to high heaven, yes I wonder where the Numemon went – but that Agumon probably means completely genuinely.

Yoshino:  “Cleaning up after this will be tough.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Can the chatter and move in. We’ve got a job to do.”

I am sad at the loss of Yoshino worrying about the clean-up.

Thomas:  “I doubt he’ll survive long enough to learn to work with us.”

Against a Numemon? Yeah, sure, that thing’s totally going to make toast out of Marcus because he’s not listening to your plan. (Tohma had no such uncalled-for jab here.)

Tohma:  “Velocity at +2 with a movement rate of 0.06.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “I’m picking up movement. He’s heading this way.”

Thomas is not precisely calculating its speed like Tohma did, which, yeah, that’s a lot more sensible, especially since Tohma’s technobabble in doing so was kinda nonsensical. Still, it’s kind of appropriately over-the-top perfectionistic of Tohma to have felt the need to do so here, so maybe losing that’s still a shame?

Yoshino:  “Stop causing unnecessary trouble!”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “You would be lost without me!”

This is after Lalamon defeats the Numemon for them. On the one hand I like Yoshino being professional and simply moving to point out that this is their fault for bickering; on the other hand, she absolutely deserves to be a little smug, because yes, they would be lost without her.

Masaru:  “Listening to your blabbering takes too long, you Tonma!”

Tohma:  “My name’s not Tonma, it’s To-h-ma! Can’t you even remember a person’s name?”

Masaru:  “Oh, I remember, TONMA H. Norstein-san!”

Tohma:  “Are you going to keep insulting me?”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Well, I would listen to ya, Thomas, if you ever had anything worthwhile to say!”

Thomas: “You jerk! No, make that you cocky jerk! You’re just a snot-nosed amateur. You don’t even know what you’re doing!”

Since the dub doesn’t have an equivalent of “Tonma” for Marcus to call Thomas here, this argument gets shifted around a bit… and as a result, suddenly Thomas is being far more out-of-line, not only rising to the bait but throwing even more uncalled-for insults than Marcus was in the first place. And the thing is, most of this exchange takes place over the shot of Yoshi’s exasperation, so the dubbers didn’t need to keep Thomas speaking for so long and could have put in more of Marcus being just as insulting. While last episode’s changes generally made Thomas somewhat more reasonable, this one is suddenly making him noticeably less so? Apparently the dubbers didn’t have any actual consistent plan in mind with this, then, and are just throwing in whatever without thinking.

Chika:  “Is he a friend of yours, Masaru-niichan? Introduce me!”

Masaru:  “He’s not a friend!”

Chika:  [to Tohma] “I’m his younger sister Chika. Nice to meet you!”

…

Chika:  “He drove Masaru-niichan back home.”

Sayuri:  “Oh my! I’m much obliged to you for taking care of our Masaru!”

~~~~~

Kristy: “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend, Marcus?”

Marcus:  “I would if he were my friend, but he’s not.”

Kristy:  [to Thomas] “Just ignore him, that’s what I always do. I’m Kristy.”

…

Kristy: “Marcus’s friend drove him home.”

Sarah: “Thanks very much, Mister Marcus’s Friend.”

Well, okay, apparently Kristy really did ignore her brother’s very firm insistence that Thomas isn’t his friend and decided he is anyway. (And that’s despite Marcus making it a lot clearer that he doesn’t even like this guy than Masaru did.) The original had Sayuri and Chika accidentally misunderstanding and assuming vaguely friendly terms between Masaru and Tohma simply because Tohma drove him home, but here it’s very much a result of Kristy deciding to deliberately misunderstand how her brother claimed things were, just to be contrary. So in this scene, Marcus’s frustration as Thomas leaves seems to be a lot more just annoyed that his sister insisted and made his mom believe that they’re friends.

Either Kristy’s the one being an annoying sibling here, or this is supposed to make us think that Marcus routinely brings home friends while moodily insisting that they’re not his friends because he’s a Tough Guy who Doesn’t Need Friends etc. Which, ehhh, that is not a thing Masaru would do.

Ookawa:  “Stay away, stop!”

Drimogemon: “Stop.”

Komiya:  “You can understand us?”

Drimogemon: “Understand.”

~~~~~

Komiya:  “Do something! You gotta save me!”

Ookawa: “Save yourself!”

Drimogemon: “Relax.”

Komiya: “Huh? You can speak?”

Drimogemon: “Yes, of course I can.”

Here in the dub, Drimogemon is not remotely parroting their words and is very definitely speaking for himself. This is a very significant difference and absolutely not how it is supposed to work in the original.

Ookawa:  “R-Really? Th-Then, can you make a hole with that drill of yours?”

Drimogemon: “Hole!” [it immediately begins drilling through the nearest wall]

~~~~~

Ookawa: “Wait, can that nose of yours dig us out of here?”

Drimogemon: “Stand back!” [he immediately begins drilling through the nearest wall]

Even so, given that Drimogemon is apparently doing this entirely of his own accord, it raises all sorts of questions as to why he’s so weirdly chill with helping these random humans escape this place. He seems to perfectly understand the situation, but, since he literally only just came to this world, how?

(Note how I’m using “he” for Drimogemon in the dub despite having used “it” in the original, because in the dub it very distinctly feels like Drimogemon is a person and not just a non-lucid creature.)

Drimogemon then just walks out of the hole he made without another word, because he didn’t say another word in the original. With this new more talkative and lucid Drimogemon, I’d expect him to have said something like “hey, come on!”, encouraging his new somehow-friends to follow him. But they can’t do that, because it didn’t happen originally, because it’s not supposed to be happening like this at all.

Yoshino:  “They’ve made a large mess…”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “More good news, as always…”

Again the dub is leaving out these little bits of Yoshino worrying about the clean-up they’ll have to do. I like those signs of her thinking about the practical concerns and actually subtly being the most competent member of this team in all these less-flashy ways, and I’m sad to see it gone in the dub.

Miki:  “This is a digital device found at the scene of the crime.”

Megumi:  “This device showed faint responses of a Digimon reaction.”

Tohma:  “I think that while they were hacking the bank’s security system, a gate to the Digital World opened up by pure coincidence.”

~~~~~

Megumi:  “A device was found at the scene that produces a signal which attracts Digimon.”

Thomas: “Hacking into the bank’s security system must have accidentally opened a gate to the Digital World, and the Digimon simply came through it.”

Uhhhh, yeah, I’m pretty sure none of these things are supposed to be true. I guess it could be simply an accident that something about the device’s signal happens to be attractive to Digimon; it sure doesn’t make any sense that some random hacking device bought off the internet deliberately attracts these secret creatures from another world.

Meanwhile, I guess Thomas’s assumption that the device is what opened the gate could also be just a false assumption (though I’m not convinced that the dub writers know that Thomas is incorrect here). But also, way for him to claim that the part where the Digimon appeared was a coincidence, which basically contradicts what Megumi just somehow confirmed.

I just don’t think the dubbers are thinking about this very hard at all, and it certainly doesn’t seem like they’ve watched ahead in the series to realise that the device is definitely not the reason this happened.

Ookawa: “Keep our friend company.”

Komiya: “He’s really gonna stick around?”

Drimogemon: “You bet!”

Drimogemon is still very much being a person and speaking for himself, but also, why? Why does he want to stick around? What is he getting out of this? From the way he’s talking here, it doesn’t just seem to be out of a selfless desire to help them.

(Actually, given the dub’s rather different version of why this is happening than the original, as will be established in a later episode, maybe there is something Drimogemon is getting out of this. So I guess I’ll talk about this again later when we get to the dub establishing that change.)

Tohma:  “If you were that worried about your mother, you should have stayed at home.”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “If you’re so worried about your mommy, then you should have just stayed home.”

This line itself is almost exactly the same, and the rest of the conversation around it is also basically equivalent, but I don’t know if I like the “mommy”. It makes it sound a lot more like Thomas is mocking Marcus for being worried about sneaking out without her permission. Since this whole thing is coming from Thomas’s jealousy at Marcus’s family situation, I guess it could be reasonable for it to come out sounding bitter and disdainful like this? I dunno, it still doesn’t feel quite as right to me, since this is Thomas briefly letting slip the feeling that of course he should care about his mother.

Yoshino:  “All you ever seem to think about is picking fights with Digimon…”

Masaru:  “I just have to defeat ‘em, don’t I?”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “All you seem to care about is getting into fights.”

Marcus: “Rrgh. Sorry, I thought you wanted to defeat them!”

Masaru here is simply being kinda bewildered at why he’s supposed to think all this extra stuff about duty is important when all they need him to do is defeat Digimon. But Marcus is being a lot more angry and defensive about them objecting to his love of fighting.

Masaru:  “Damn it! What’s going on here?! … … Baaaaah!”

~~~~~

Marcus:  “I didn’t do anything! All I did was push these buttons, and then, a – a thing happened, and… aagh – aaarrrgh!”

I do prefer Marcus’s more elaborate flustered squawking as he messes up the computer.

Masaru:  “Whew, it stopped.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Whew, I fixed it!”

Marcus also has more audacity than Masaru in assuming that him hitting the computer somehow magically fixed it, rather than it simply made it stop blaring at him one way or another.

Thomas: “Maybe we should take away his computer privileges, just in case.”

Honestly, that would be an entirely reasonable thing to do. It’s not like he’s going to be able to do anything useful on them anyway.

Tohma:  “Keep him in your Digivice!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Put this oversized oaf in your Digivice!”

A bit of an uncalled-for jab at Agumon there, Thomas. He is still getting shifted to be just slightly more of a jerk in this episode than he was originally.

Agumon:  “I hate being inside of that Digivice!”

Tohma:  “Having one annoyance is more than enough already.”

~~~~~

Agumon:  “I can’t stand being in there, it’s so cramped!”

Thomas: “Great, I get to sit next to two nitwits.”

I enjoy Agumon stressing the cramped thing again – but then Thomas’s response, phrased more like an actual response to what Agumon said, makes it sound like he’s calling Agumon a nitwit because he doesn’t like cramped spaces. Bit of a dick move?

Drimogemon: “You want me to make a hole here?”

Drimogemon is still being a person and wilfully choosing to co-operate with these dudes, for… some reason.

Komiya:  “Now we’re super-rich!”

Drimogemon: “Super-rich!”

~~~~~

Komiya: “We’re gonna be super filthy rich!”

Drimogemon:  “It looks clean.”

For a while, I was very confused as to why Drimogemon would randomly call the money clean of all things, but then I realised he’s responding to the “filthy rich” line and taking it literally. I guess that does make sense in this version of the narrative where Drimogemon is being a lucid person but isn’t human and doesn’t properly get why the robbers want money. (The dubbers sure don’t remember this concept of Digimon-aren’t-aware-of-human-phrasings the rest of the time though; see Agumon.)

Ookawa:  “You’re roadkill!”

~~~~~

Ookawa: “We’re in big trouble!”

During the van-pushing match, we lose the murderous intent, because of course we do, this is the dub, it’s not like that’s something that’s quite important for why this happened in the original or anything. Instead…

Drimogemon:  (My friends need me!)

Drimogemon thinks this, as he begins to glow with an ominous, very dark-looking energy and grow bigger. It didn’t have any line here at all in the original. This is definitely not supposed to be Drimogemon getting a burst of power out of a desire to protect its friends. Especially since Drimogemon isn’t going to say another word from this point on and, in fact, will crush the entire van and only not crush its “friends” in the process by sheer luck.

(I guess it could be read as a case of the extra power Drimogemon consciously draws on being something he can’t control, leading him to become overwhelmed with it and forget the fact that he wanted to protect them? That’d make an interesting, kinda-tragic narrative in itself, but it’s definitely not presented that way, because that’s not the narrative in the original, because it never considered them friends in the original at all.)

Also, why does Drimogemon even consider them his friends? He’s been helping them, but they haven’t done a thing for him in return. As I mentioned, there is a potential reason that could work in the dub for why he’s been helping them, but that reason does not constitute thinking of them as friends or particularly caring about protecting them on the basis that they’re “friends”.

Marcus:  “I think it’s Digivolving!”

It really isn’t, but okay. (Drimogemon Digivolve to… BiggerDrimogemon!)

Miki:  “The Digimon signal is getting abnormally stronger!”

~~~~~

Miki:  “In response to the threat, Drimogemon is growing!”

Response to the “threat” of Masaru and Agumon was definitely not what actually made Drimogemon grow originally… but I guess that’s consistent with how the dub’s presenting this version, so whatever.

Kudamon:  “It must’ve gone berserk!”

~~~~~

Kudamon: “Our team’s in trouble.”

You know, somewhere around here would have been a reasonable moment for the dub to slip in a line about how Drimogemon won’t be able to control this extra power he’s drawing on and will even end up endangering his “friends”, if they were deliberately going with that narrative. But no.

Marcus makes some glorious panicked squawks as he’s flung into the water. His VA is pretty great at that kind of thing. Masaru’s VA is also pretty great at it, don’t get me wrong, but this time I liked Marcus’s more.

The melody of Lalamon’s Sing A Song is completely different in the dub. This will be relevant in a later episode.

Masaru:  “Our fighting spirit won’t be doused by water!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “And if you thought you had it rough before, just wait!”

Masaru here is just excited to fight, not even really caring that Tohma is also involved in this. But Marcus is specifically trying to make himself sound better than Thomas (the “before” he’s referring to is when Drimogemon was facing Thomas and Gaomon just a second ago).

Tohma:  “You want to interfere with me again?!”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “Oh no! He’s going to ruin the plan!”

Thomas’s line sounds very stilted and expositiony (as if the viewers couldn’t already figure out for themselves that Marcus is going to drive it back onto land), rather than Tohma more meaningfully expressing frustration at Masaru for interfering with the plan.

Masaru:  “Shut up! It doesn’t matter where a man’s fight takes place! As long as sparks are flying, that’s where our fighting ring is!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Back off! We’re gonna take this guy down our way! ‘Cause wherever we fight, we come out on top!”

The general intent of this speech is pretty much intact, but again, the dub removed the mention of manliness. It’s not like that concept could possibly be a really important part of Masaru’s character or anything, nah.

(Though the emphasis on “our way” (implying: as opposed to Thomas’s way) also gives more of a sense that Marcus is still thinking about proving he’s better than Thomas rather than Masaru simply wanting to fight without really caring about their rivalry right now.)

Tohma:  “If you fight above earth, he can escape underground! Why can’t you understand that?!”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “If you fight over water, he can’t escape underground! You’re going to let him get away, you impulsive fool!”

While it’s honestly entirely fair to call Marcus (and Masaru) an impulsive fool, doing so in the middle of the fight like this still feels slightly more uncalled-for and just-being-a-jerk than how Tohma expressed his frustration.

Masaru:  “He turned tail during a fight! I don’t believe that guy!”

Agumon:  “It must be because we’re strong!”

~~~~~

Marcus:  “He turned and ran from a fight! What kinda Digimon is this guy?!”

Agumon: “The kind that turns and runs, I guess.”

Agumon’s comment in the dub is not as adorably naïve-excitement-about-their-strength as the original, I am disappoint.

Tohma:  “Check rate of velocity. According to his behaviour patterns, he should show up at point 08 in district E!”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “But maybe, based on his behaviour, we can track Drimogemon.”

…

Thomas: [after evolving Gaomon, on Gaogamon’s back] “Quick! Get to Area F!”

At first it seems like the dub is going a little bit less silly-sciencey-technobabble here, like Thomas isn’t going to somehow magically predict where Drimogemon will show up and is simply going to follow its signal and then run ahead of it. But then, no, he’s still somehow predicted it exactly, despite being a lot vaguer about how. At least Tohma’s technobabble, silly as it was, gave some sense that there was some kind of calculation he was doing there. The thing of checking its velocity made a return from the Numemon incident earlier, at least. But the dub didn’t have him precisely measuring Numemon’s speed, which was more sensible back then, but possibly makes a little bit less sense not being mentioned now?

(I’m very much nitpicking here, because this is pretty silly even in the original.)

Masaru:  “Calculations aren’t always right!”

~~~~~

Marcus:  “We prove that his way isn’t the only way!”

This is Marcus being somewhat less bitter about Thomas than originally, since he’s at least acknowledging that Thomas’s way is a valid way to do things, whereas Masaru was grumpily trying to insist that Tohma’s calculations totally aren’t always even right at all.

Tohma:  “There’s no-one to drag us down now.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “And this time, Marcus isn’t around to mess it up.”

Tohma:  “I can’t believe you want to drag me down again!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Haven’t you done enough damage already, Marcus?”

There was something quite meaningful in Tohma’s “drag me down” (this is really about his sense of pride and not just about Masaru), and that’s lost in the dub’s versions of these lines.

Sadly, the amusing effect of the way Believer abruptly cuts out as it becomes clear they’re screwing up isn’t there in the dub, because the dub’s evolution theme just happens to reach its natural stopping point at that moment.

Tohma:  “This is bad! We let him escape to the Digital World…”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Fine job, Marcus! You let him escape to the Digital World!”

Thomas immediately jumps to accusing Marcus here, where Tohma didn’t. Since this is the point in the original where Tohma begins to be hit with the fact that he failed and it becomes a lot more about him, I kinda like the way that it doesn’t occur to him to blame it all on Masaru in that initial moment.

Masaru:  “Good! I’m out, too!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Good! I’m sick o’ you holdin’ me back anyway!”

Here in the dub we have Marcus being the one to emphasise the point that he feels the other has been holding him back, rather than Thomas. I don’t think that’s quite meant to be the point. (Again, Masaru has been quite happy to be just doing his fighty thing in this episode and only mildly peripherally annoyed about Tohma being there too.)

Kudamon:  “And it’s even worse now that he’s running wild.”

~~~~~

Kudamon: “And now Drimogemon is out there somewhere…”

The dub misses the explanation of the part where the reason Drimogemon going back to the Digital World as not-an-egg is a problem is because he’s still rampaging. …Which, I guess, probably has something to do with the fact that the dub didn’t even seem to realise he was rampaging after the point where he grew bigger at all.

Satsuma:  “He may appear again someday. Keep on the lookout.”

~~~~~

Sampson:  “We may yet get another crack at him, but… you simply failed.”

Meanwhile Sampson is just being way harsher than he was originally, made even more so by it not being made as clear why this was a failure.

Kudamon:  “That’s not the only problem. He might act as a negative influence to the other Digimon living in the Digital World.”

~~~~~

Kudamon: “You have to think of the big picture. What if he gets other Digimon to join him, and he infiltrates this world in numbers too large to stop?”

I, uh, don’t think that “encouraging more Digimon to come to the human world” is quite what Kudamon originally meant when he talked about Drimogemon being a negative influence, since, you know, the whole mindlessly rampaging thing.

(What is dub-Drimogemon even going to say to the other Digimon to get them to want to join him? “Hey, come to the human world, there’s… banks to rob!”)

But also, I am sad that dub-Kudamon is still worrying more about the human world. I liked how original-Kudamon cared about the problems this might cause in the Digital World, which is, after all, Kudamon’s home.

Tohma:  “I’ll go in pursuit of Drimogemon and turn him into a Digiegg without fail!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Please, just let me do this and I promise that I’ll capture Drimogemon!”

The dub is not mentioning the part where the only thing that really matters here is turning Drimogemon back into an egg. “Capture” could technically be one word for that, I guess, but it could also easily be misinterpreted at something else like, I dunno, bringing him to DATS to imprison him there or something, which is less of a solution than letting him wander around the Digital World. It's like the dub’s angle on this is that Drimogemon is a criminal who must be caught. This isn’t about punishing the Digimon for their “crimes”, but simply about making sure they can’t cause trouble any more, for either world.

Satsuma:  “Stop thinking of such foolishness!”

~~~~~

Sampson: “Enough. You’ve failed; accept it.”

Sampson is really going way harder on the failure front here than Satsuma was. (It’s actually pretty fair that Satsuma didn’t make a huge deal of them failing, since, while the two of them clashing did not help, Drimogemon’s escape actually pretty much happened by accident thanks to the Digital Gate happening to appear at the worst time.)

Still, Sampson stressing this part does at least serve to make it clearer while still not being too unsubtly obvious that Thomas’s real issue here is feeling like he failed.

Yoshino:  “I’ve been working since early morning yesterday, too… Being on-duty is rough…”

Lalamon:  “But I’m here with you.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Man, this has been a dull shift. Not that I’m complaining about having a little downtime…”

Lalamon: “Sounds like that’s exactly what you’re doing.”

It seems like Yoshi hasn’t been awake and working for basically two days straight like Yoshino was. I guess that’s a point to dub-DATS for better employee hours.

Meanwhile, Lalamon is just being a lot sassier rather than supportive.

Yoshino:  “Lalamon, why is it locked?!”

~~~~~

Yoshi:  “We just got locked out, Lalamon!”

The dub is often not great in that it has lines like this that are unnaturally stilted saying what’s happening as if they need to tell the viewers that, rather than having lines with the characters naturally reacting to what’s happening that in the process smoothly inform the viewers of what’s going on.

Overall differences

This episode’s changes aren’t as bad as the previous one’s, but there are still a bunch of notable things.

Whereas last episode’s changes made Thomas the more reasonable one, this time they’ve made him less reasonable and more of an uncalled-for jerk towards Marcus in their arguments. Marcus also makes slightly more of a point about showing that his fighting is better than Thomas’s, whereas in the original Masaru was kinda just doing his own thing in the fights and only mildly annoyed about Tohma being there.

That device the robbers had absolutely should not have been responsible for opening the Digital Gate and attracting Drimogemon, but in the dub’s narrative, it seems we’re supposed to believe that that is how it happened.

The end of the episode makes it less apparent why Drimogemon escaping to the Digital World is a problem, especially with Thomas insisting he’ll go over there to capture him, which is nonsensical.

And then by far the most significant change is that Drimogemon is lucid and helping out the robbers of his own accord. This is a very big difference in how this stuff works in the dub, and it’s much less interesting! I will go into this a lot more in this opening arc of episodes, because the dub is at least consistent about making this type of change with all the rampaging Digimon. There’s also the part where Drimogemon grows larger apparently out of a desire to “protect his friends” instead of the reason it happened originally, except then he immediately proceeds to go wild and nearly kill said “friends”, so that doesn’t make very much sense.

[ohnotoomanyfandoms]

If you wrote a quick lil Jordelia snippet in the style of one of Cassie's Chain of Iron excerpts (like write a tiny bit of a prediction of a scene that could happen between them) I would love you forever 🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤

My dear Jordelia Nation, I bring you a little Christmas present! 

I am nowhere near satisfied of this ficlet (which is why I’m not even putting it on my AO3 page), but I wrote it and I can’t take it back now. Based on THREE snippets (you’ll find those in bold), I present you THAT confession scene under the cut. 

I just want to point out one thing: I don’t think this is how the scene is going to go in the books. At all. I just had fun imagining James and Cordelia’s conversation on that Most Important Topic and tried to keep it as in character as possible, but I also know my Edwardian English is not the best. 

Without further ado, here are 2k words of Jordelia angst for you all <3 

Cordelia rang Risa for some tea. The boys would certainly require scones. As they settled around her drawing room’s table, Cordelia couldn’t help but notice they were starting this meeting without a key member.

“Where’s Lucie?” She asked no one in particular. She turned to James and he shrugged.

“Probably with Anna,” Matthew suggested. Hopefully with Anna, Cordelia thought. She knew Lucie had a secret. Now that James was out of the Institute, there was no way of knowing where her future parabatai was. If anything, Cordelia reprimanded herself silently, she was supposed to know.

“We should start without her,” James said. “Let’s get to it.”

“Grace will never talk to us. Not after last week,” Matthew declared. “We have to find another way.”

“I still don’t see why you think she won’t,” interrupted Christopher. “I am sure she will speak to Jamie, if he asks nicely. She was entirely amicable with me last month.”

“That was before what happened last week, Kit,” Thomas pointed out.

“Jamie can’t go. There is no point in even trying. It will be a waste of our time, time we don’t have. We need a different plan,” Matthew said.

“Why can’t Jamie go?” asked Kit innocently.

“We’ll never find a better—“ Tom was saying, but Cordelia cut him off.

“It’s of no consequence. James is free to go see Grace if he wishes to.”

She didn’t miss the furtive glance Matthew sent her way.

“I can accompany him,” Kit offered.

But James was shaking his head. “Daisy…”

She swallowed hard. “It would be beneath me to try and stop you.”

She would not be remembered as the villain in this story. Her husband, by the Angel, Cordelia still couldn’t believe it after a whole month of marriage… if staying away from Grace was so painful for James, as it was clear from his ghost-like pallor and his hollow eyes, Cordelia couldn’t very well ignore it. She would swallow whatever was left of her pride and her shattered honor and let him go. The mission was more important.

“I made you a promise. I told you I would keep it, and I am.”

If Cordelia hadn’t already been in love with him then, the intensity of his gaze as he delivered those words would’ve done it, surely.

“And I meant what I just said, James. I free you from that promise.”

Mathew, the only other person in the room who knew her secret and pitied her for it, was quick to intervene, to spare her the embarrassment of further discussion on the topic in front of their friends. “Then it’s settled. Jamie and Kit will both go. Tomorrow night, then we will need to regroup here.”

Lucie had never shown up, Cordelia thought after the Merry Thieves had gone. She would need to send her a message. Pondering where her friend had gotten herself, she didn’t notice James cornering her on the way to the master bedchamber, the room they both occupied as far as the Enclave was concerned. James had been courteous enough to let her take it since they wouldn’t need to share one.

“Daisy, we must speak.”

His golden eyes were fixed on her, fierce as a hawk’s gaze. She said, "It doesn’t matter what I said. I wanted them to leave you alone —"

"I don’t believe you," he said. She could feel the slight tremors running through his body — tremors of stress, that meant he was holding himself very still. Holding himself back. "You don’t say things you don’t mean, Daisy —“

“Oh, James. The Angel knows I do.” She took a deep breath and pointed to the Herondale ring on her finger. “Every day of my life I say things I don’t mean.”

“Yes, but not to me,” James said. “You are entirely honest with me, and that’s what I treasure the most about us. About this time. When we are here together, we don’t have to pretend.”

Cordelia’s heart broke. She averted her eyes for a second to focus on her feet, then met his again.

“James, you do not know how much it means to me that you try and pretend like you’re not sacrificing yourself for my sake in all this.”

There was nothing but honesty in his face. “What are you talking about, Daisy, if anything, it was you who did this for me, to save me from the Clave—“

“I am not referring to our marriage,” she said loudly. “I am referring to our promise. I am referring to the fact that you are doing your best to shield me from how much it pains you to keep it. Yet you are determined to keep it, because you are a man of honor, the best of men, no matter the consequences to your own heart.”

His voice softened. “Daisy, cariad—“

A part of her registered he’d never called her that before. It was a term she was used to hearing his parents use. But she had no time to ponder on its meaning at present.

“I can see that you have trouble sleeping at night. How miserable you’ve been. You’re a shadow of yourself, and it has nothing to do with your grandfather. If you miss her this much, you should go see her.”

“Cordelia,” he said, his tone suddenly serious, angry even. The change in name was not lost on her either. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“If you need to see—“ she forced herself to pronounce that name, “Grace, you should go see her.”

“Are you truly encouraging me to commit adultery?”

Internally, she laughed. “Do you believe me such a masochist? I am merely suggesting that you see her, instead of convincing yourself that you don’t want to.”

James dropped on the settee by the window. Cordelia remained standing, despite his silent request that she join him. He was so much taller than her that his head was at level with her chest. She tried not to think about it. James kept his hand on her arm. She was glad for its anchoring presence.

“I am your husband, Daisy,” he started.

“In name only,” she promptly reminded him.

James shook his head. “I placed marriage runes on you and my ring on your finger.” His own fingers touched the shape of the rune on her left arm.

“Rune,” she corrected again. “Just one.” Because you didn’t want the other.

“Cordelia.”

The intensity of his voice made her turn. His eyes were molten gold.

“We are married,” James continued. “You giving me permission to see Grace doesn’t mean I will go see her. I won’t betray your trust.”

“But the mission—“

“I’ll find another way. I would ask that you cease assuming what I am feeling or not feeling, I beg of you. It’s not being married to you that’s making me miserable. On the contrary.”

“Then what is?” She asked boldly. “James, you are wasting away. No one who loved you would want you to sacrifice your own happiness. I certainly don’t.”

“No, Daisy.” He shook his head again, more fervently this time.

“One of us should be happy, James.”

His fingers traced her arm. “By the Angel, Daisy, I am not unhappy with you. Please do not suggest the contrary. And besides, what do you think would happen? You may bless an adulterous union, but Grace is also engaged, and I doubt that dear Charles would be as magnanimous as you.”

Oh, but he would, Cordelia thought bitterly. No one was keeping James and Grace separated if not their own oaths. But she couldn’t tell James that, because she would need to expose Charles’ secret, and she wasn’t ready to do that as much as she was to expose her brother’s.

“Charles doesn’t need to know,” she lied quickly, although he appeared suddenly lost in thought. “You two could meet in secret tomorrow as per the plan.”

“What did you say?”

“That Charles doesn’t—“

“No, forget Charles. What did you say before? One of us should… gods, Daisy, are you miserable? Is that it? If so, tell me what I am doing wrong and I will do everything in my power and beyond to amend, bach.”

Another Welsh term she’d heard his family use. She shook her head. “There is nothing you can do. Seeing you happy will make me happy.” Only saying it felt like placing a dagger in her own chest.

“I know you dreamt of finding true love and this has shattered those dreams. But you can still have those things. You just need to find the right man and in a year you’ll be with him. I promise I will help.”

She was silent for a moment. Then she took a leap. “What if I’ve already found him?”

That took him by surprise. His eyes widened, he took his hand off her arm. “You… have? This must be even harder for you then. Who is it? If you wish to confide in me, of course.”

“You don’t wish to know, trust me.”

“No, I do. Am I not your friend, Daisy, before I am your husband? And did I not swear to fight your battles and to keep your secrets?”

“This one is better kept unsaid, for both our peace of mind.”

He seemed to consider their words carefully. After a minute of silence, he spoke, his voice calm. “I don’t want to push you. So you are determined not to share this with anyone else? Does Lucie know, at least?”

“No, she doesn’t. Matthew does, but that’s beside the point.”

“Matthew— why would you confide in Math and not me? Daisy, am I such a terrible friend to you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. But don’t hold your breath, he doesn’t love me back, his affections lay elsewhere.”

“Nonsense. How can a man be indifferent to you?”

She was tired of this conversation, tired of lying to him… “James, can you close the door on your way out?”

“Of course.” He understood at once and instantly stood up from the settee. He towered over her for a moment. “If you wish to speak later, or play some chess before dinner, I’ll be in the other room.”

He made to leave, then turned back to her and before she knew what was happening, he cupped her cheek and kissed her there. His eyes were melancholy. “You mean the world to me, Daisy. I wish I could show you how much.”

He closed the door behind him as she had requested, but she was still frozen in place where he had left her. Her arm and her cheek where he had touched her felt like they were on fire. She was suddenly reminded of the passionate kiss they’d shared in the Whispering Room, and for the first time in a long time, Cordelia questioned her assumption. She freed her hair from their complicated ‘do. Her mind was racing.

She jumped toward her desk, where Lucie’s latest chapter of The Beautiful Cordelia lay half-unread. She gripped the pages and scanned them for a single word. She could swear she’d read it just two days ago… there it was. Characters who were so clearly based on Will and Tessa filled the pages of this chapter. “Cariad” the hero kept calling his long-lost love. “Bach,” she had exclaimed once they were reunited. Cordelia had never paid as much attention as she should have when the Herondales communicated in Welsh, but she wished she had.

Before she could think this through, she sprinted for the door. James was in their drawing room, a worn-out copy of Ovid’s Heroides in his hands.

“Had a change of heart?” he asked without looking up from his book.

“Hardly,” Cordelia said breathlessly.

“Mittor ad Alciden a coniuge conscia mentis / littera si coniunx Deianira tua est,” he read aloud, which slightly annoyed Cordelia. She wasn’t here for a lesson in mythology. And it was beneath James to flaunt his Latin unnecessarily. She remembered he’d made her promise to teach him Farsi, once they were married, but they hadn’t delved down that road so far.

“You know I don’t speak Latin, bach,” she said slowly, doing her best not to mispronounce the last word.

That undoubtedly got his attention and made him meet her eyes. “How fortunate that this text also offers a translation, then. It’s Deianira writing to Hercules after he abandoned her to be with another woman: A letter, that shares her feelings, sent to Alcides / By your wife, if Deianira is still your wife.”

“James, can we not discuss mythology at present?”

“What mythology?” he grinned as he pushed the book aside.

“I have a confession to make.” She walked toward him this time.

His eyes were gentle. “Only if you truly want to, Daisy.”

“I haven’t been entirely forthcoming with you all these months. That’s what’s making me miserable. I don’t want to lie to you, James, and I’m tired of doing so.”

“I’m listening.”

“I said I’d met the right man, and that at least wasn’t a lie. Do you know what it’s like, to have everything you’ve ever wanted but it’s just pretend?”

“Yes,” he said calmly. “I do.”

Grace, she thought, because they’d been together in secret for years, had almost run away together.

“No,” she replied, “You don’t. Not this way.”

James suddenly stood. “Will you quit saying what you think I feel or don’t feel? It’s the third time today, Daisy. If you wish to know something, just ask, do not assume.”

“But I already know. You’ve told me.”

James, you don’t love me, she had said. No, I don’t, he had replied after his haste proposal.

“You feel what you feel and I cannot fault you for it. I can hardly fault my own heart.”

“Daisy,” he said then. “What are you saying?”

She took another deep breath and jumped into the abyss. “It’s you, James. It’s always been you.” The earth beneath her threatened to swallow her whole. “I’ve loved you all my life.”

“You can’t mean—”

"I know it’s not what you want, but it won’t change anything between us. I’ve tried to stop, but I have been unsuccessful. This is my predicament and there is nothing either of us can do about it. We can stay friends and companions, the way we have these months. What if I just love you? What if I love you but I never touch you or talk about it, what would happen then?"

Cordelia wasn’t sure he was breathing. After an interminable time, his lips finally parted to say something.

She never knew what, because one moment he was there, his hand on her arm, and the next he was gone.

It appeared they hadn’t destroyed the shadow realm after all.

/// There you have it. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Sorry if you hated the entire story. Again, I kind of hate it too. If you enjoyed it, that makes me happy <3 I’ll go back to writing meta and speculation now.