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undertheopensky · 1 year ago

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Wildlife 1

Whumptober Day 3: Solitary Confinement

Characters: Blue Link

Read on Ao3!

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It’s the stillness that wakes him.

Blue’s gotten used to sleeping through a certain amount of background noise. He lives with his brothers. Noise is just a fact of life, from Red falling down the stairs when half-asleep, Green banging around rearranging the living room every week, and Vio tripping over the newly-arranged furniture when he goes to make tea at two in the morning. Never mind when someone’s working in the forge; that’s just about loud enough to wake the dead, and if one of them’s in there then all of them are in and out, handling coke, pulling wire, using the second anvil, or running water so no one passes out in the summer heat.

So when Blue draws close to consciousness and hears nothing - no gentle murmur of conversation, no rattling of plates and cups - it jolts him to full awareness.

He’s - outside. He was definitely not outside last night. He’s also no longer in his bed, instead picking himself up from grass and dirt and staring at the trees towering overhead in mute confusion.

The fuck happened? And why the fuck didn’t he wake up for it?

“Guys?” he calls, and is immediately weirded out by the way his voice is swallowed up by the empty greenery. “Red, Green? Vio? Are you there? Can you hear me?”

He doesn’t hear anything in response, which is fine. He doesn’t need the others for whatever the fuck this is. Even if he’d really prefer not to be in his pyjamas.

It’s whatever.

He’d also kind of like a weapon. Blue glances around the forest floor with a dawning frown - it’s strange there’s no fallen branches. No dead leaves, even, though it’s not fall back home and from the lack of a nip in the air it’s not here either, but like, trees are always losing a few leaves here and there. This place is almost unnaturally clean. There’s some shrubs and some saplings in that open area to the left; if he can’t find something he’ll make one.

Blue’s hand goes to the knife he’d be wearing at his belt if he wasn’t in his goddamn nightclothes.

Whatever. He’ll cope.

After using his whole body weight to break off a suitably-sized stick, and beating it against a nearby rock until most of the offshoots are broken off, Blue chooses a direction at random and sets off. The trees here are so thick there’s no way to determine landmarks. It’s like the Minish Woods, too dense to see the sky or more than ten feet away, but it can’t be like that forever. He’ll find a sparse patch, or maybe a tree he can climb, and find something. And in the meantime, he can try to forage. It feels like late spring, so probably not much fruit around, but Red ensured that everyone knew a few things they could gather in any season.

That kind of knowledge only works locally, though, and Blue is carefully not letting himself wonder just how far away he’s been transported. He is not used to seeing this many needle-y evergreens. Cone trees? He knows the seeds are in cones so they’re probably called cone trees, and most of the seeds are edible if he can find them. Some of them also have edible needles, too, and he squints at the nearest one trying to remember the difference between a spruce and a pine.

Blue’s pretty sure the difference isn’t fatal, at least.

He snaps off a tip from a low-hanging branch, sniffs it, then shrugs and pops it in his mouth.

He immediately spits it back out, spitting frantically in an attempt to get the taste out, too.

“This tastes like paint stripper!” he complains to the air, and belatedly remembers Red telling them that while technically edible, pine needles were the worst of the bunch and to go for spruce instead. “Ugh.”

Okay, so this is probably a pine tree. Good to know. He takes a close squint at the branch, wondering how the fuck it’s any different to every other nearby tree. “Red said the cones are always easy to tell apart,” Blue mutters to himself, and glances fruitlessly around for lumps of brown amongst the green. “Guess it really is the wrong season. But… needles. There was something about the actual needles.”

He picks another bunch and looks them over. They’re long, and spiky, like two flat pieces glued together at right angles, three of them all bundled together on a short wooden stem.

“Okay, I guess. Let’s find something to compare this to.”

He just hopes he’s right in that it’s a pine tree and the next attempt won’t taste even worse.

Blue investigates the nearest shrubs on his way past and finds only a single mouseberry bush, which is a long way from ideal. The fruit doesn’t taste of much, and they always upset his stomach if he eats more than a handful. It’s something, at least, even this early in the season. And hey, these trees look different to that first stand of them. The needles all grow straight off the branch, for one thing, and they’re more solid than spiky.

Blue bites down on a branch tip from this new tree and makes a face. Sharp, not altogether pleasant, but closer to an underripe lemon than wood stripper. He’ll take it over starving, but Golden Three, that’s awful. Blue seriously hopes there’s other shit to eat in this weird-ass forest.

He keeps going on his chosen heading, passing more spruce trees (reluctantly picking tips along the way) and another mouseberry bush, until he meets a white stone wall.

Blue squints at it in confusion. It’s too smooth to be a natural cliff face, too consistent to be hand-hewn - it’s also the first real barrier he’s found to his straight-line progress, the first true landmark he’s found. He just wishes it wasn’t so fucking weird. His fingers should catch on fine irregularities, or glide across truly polished stone. This is just… flat.

Squinting skywards - useless, because the trees grow thickly all the way up to the edge which is also hella weird - Blue turns deliberately to the left, so his sword hand is free, and starts following the cliff face, dodging trunks as he goes.

It’s not long after that that he comes to another landmark, this one a small creek flowing from a crack in the wall.

“The hell?” Blue squints at it. The crack is… not large enough for the kind of current he can see, which is bizarre. He sticks his hand in it to check the depth - fuck it’s freezing - no deeper than mid-forearm and a sandy bottom. The water’s crystal clear and it’s fucking with his perception a bit; where’s the algae that should be drifting in the shallows, the trailing braids of water plants? Tadpoles, minnows, fish? What’s wrong with the water, for there to be no life in it?

Where’s any of the animals? This whole time, the forest has been eerily silent except for Blue’s own footsteps. No small scurrying things, no birds flitting overhead. There’s not even any wind.

Shaking his arm to get some of the water off, Blue looks back at the strange, white wall that blocked his progress. Keep following the wall, or start following the creek?

The creek is - slightly - more likely to lead him to a village. People need water, after all.

It’s intuition alone that makes him hop the coursing water, put his hand back on the damn wall, and keep going.

Whenever he passes a probably-a-spruce-tree Blue snaps off the soft green branch tips he can reach, holding up the hem of his sleep shirt to gather them in. Stupidly, it makes him wish he’d worn his cap to bed. Then at least he’d have a handy carrying basket for this shit without the awkwardness of wearing it at the same time.

There’s still not much by way of berry shrubs, unfortunately. Blue’s been checking as he goes, moving away from the wall to hunt for potential forage where he can, always keeping the flash of white within eyeshot so he doesn’t lose his heading. He still wants to make progress.

The silence is getting to him, though.

If he were with the others, there’d be sound. Red chattering about the bird he’d seen, or the baker’s new baby, or how the town minish were expanding the dwelling in the post office. Green singing to himself, or constructing new and terrible jokes to inflict on unsuspecting people. Even Vio likes to talk, sometimes, picking good-natured fights with Blue, or teasing Red. All of it to the endless cadence of forge hammers and hissing bellows.

Instead, Blue’s alone, only his own footsteps and breathing and heartbeat to keep him company.

Blue’s not like Vio. He doesn’t get overwhelmed by lots of noise and need long hours spent in relative quiet to recover. He likes a bit of peace and quiet, because when you have three brothers you take what you can get. He just doesn’t need it.

And this much quiet is deeply, deeply unsettling.

It also makes it hard to ignore the ache in his gut. Blue has a routine, dammit. Wake up, start the day’s tea, get food on the table before any of the others make it down the stairs and attempt to cook. Today he woke up alone in a creepy forest, and instead of breakfast, he’s busy trying to work out where the fuck he is with only pieces of tree to snack on.

He chews another one, grumbling to himself. Stupid trees. Stupid plants. Stupid berries, not being around when he needs them -

Is that another wall?

It is indeed another wall, which joins the first at perfect right angles and no visible seam, like it’s all of one piece. Blue hates it so much.

He doesn’t like the feeling of being herded. He doesn’t like that he can’t see the sky. He hates that there’s been no trees with branches low enough to climb, no rock formations to get a higher viewpoint with, that all he can do is keep following the fucking wall.

“This is bullshit,” he hisses under his breath with a scowl.

It’s been hours. He’s tired and hungry and all he’s found is more fucking trees and more fucking walls —

The burn in his eyes startles him badly. He’s not Red. He doesn’t just cry at the drop of a hat, over stupid shit like not knowing where he is or where the others are, or the shaky pressure blanketing his lungs. What the fuck.

“Okay,” he tells himself, “okay. We need a break.” Red would for sure have been whining for one by now. He should - pace himself. Sit down and eat something. Hell, he doesn’t even known how long he’s been walking for. It’s not like he can mark the path of the sun without a view of the sky.

Blue makes himself sit down on the nearest tree root. Pretends his sniffling is just checking the smell of the stupid spruce tips. Eats a few, grimacing at the sharp-sour taste, and considers the mouseberries he’d collected.

He’s thirsty, is the problem. Spruce needles don’t have much water, and even if the creek isn’t poisoned to hell he’s got no way to carry it. As long as he doesn’t eat too many - they’re better than nothing, right?

The juice from each small fruit feels inadequate. He’d never been fond of the taste, even before discovering they don’t agree with him. Blue eats a carefully-counted ten of the small grey-purple berries, then resolutely folds the rest back in his shirt.

(He’s still thirsty. Still hungry. Still feels like something is weighing him down by his chest.)

“Time to go,” he says to no one, and when his heart gives an uncomfortable throb he ignores it. There’s another stand of stupid spruce trees he can scavenge off of.

He doesn’t know how long he spends like that - following the wall, foraging for food, squinting uselessly into the thick forest like that’ll make things make more sense. There’s more ground cover here, small leafy things and ground-hugging shrubs that make it even more difficult to see anything at a distance. With any luck, some of it will wind up being edible. Blue’s not in the mood to investigate, though. It’s been - hours, surely, by now. And yet the light overhead hasn’t shifted at all. If he’d woken up mid-morning then by now the sun should be dropping, turning the air golden and making shadows stretch out across the ground. Instead, it feels - like it hasn’t changed at all. Still the cool white light of a waking sun.

It’s almost like - dungeon lighting. Too consistent, and run on magic, instead of the movements of the heavens.

“Same thing,” Blue mutters to himself.

It’s a cold shock when Vio doesn’t snarl at him for it. Unconsciously, he’d been expecting resistance; a playful argument about where magic comes from. The lack of it feels like - missing not just the iron but the anvil entirely. At least there’s no hammer to drop on his own foot, here. He huffs, scrubs his hands up and down his arms to settle the prickling there, and keeps going.

Then, all at once, everything goes dark.

Blue yelps.

It’s not just the suddenness - it’s the completeness of the loss of light. Even on the darkest of new moons the stars should be enough to dust solid outlines silver. Here? Fuck all. He can’t see his hands, he can’t see his feet, he can’t see the ground, he can’t see the protrusion that catches his foot -

Hard-rough-scraping meets his face. Blue flails back, nearly losing his balance, before he gets a hand on the tree and the world steadies.

Well, he’s definitely not going anywhere else today.

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Morning dawns just as abruptly as night had fallen. Blue knows this because he’s awake when it happens.

He’d slept badly. Golden Three, he’s out of practice at sleeping on hard ground. Without even a bedroll to cushion him he’d been in and out of restless sleep more times than he could count, before sudden, blazing light speared through the canopy and he gave up. Might as well get something done, since further sleep was a wash.

Light restored, he’s able to look himself over.

A few scrapes and bruises from his unfortunate meeting with his new best friend tree in the dark, nothing serious. He’s also not sore from wandering around all day, which is interesting. He’s been barefoot the whole time, shouldn’t they be killing him?

When he checks, though, there’s not so much as a scratch, just dirt and grass stains. He supposes, when he thinks back, that the forest floor is just as empty of rocks and sticks to cut his feet on as it is leaf litter and handy fallen branches.

That’s still weird.

His stomach chooses now to complain loudly about yesterday’s meagre fare. The cramping makes Blue grimace. He’s got to find more food than just spruce needles and mouseberries, or it’s going to be a very lean time for him until he makes it home. Yesterday he’d been too tightly wound to stop and check every likely-looking plant, but he’d earmarked a few thick patches that aren’t too far back. He’ll check those, in hopes of a decent meal, before continuing his wall-expedition.

He eats some of his small store - after gathering it again, he’d dropped it from his shirt when dark had fallen - and heads out.

The first patch is all woody stuff, not as inviting as it had looked from a distance. The second is more promising.

Blue checks the fluffy leaves carefully. Yeah, this one’s okay - the tubers are a touch bitter, but they’re not toxic, and definitely safer than the mouseberries. Using his stick to break the hard crust of earth, he starts digging.

The dirt, like everything else in this awful place, is weird. Small, perfectly smooth particles, all the same size, with no pockets of sand or rotting root system or small burrowing insects. The closest comparison he has is clay, but there’s no way he’d be able to break through heat-dried clay without better tools. This stuff gives way beneath his bare hands.

A small, pale swelling emerges from the weird dirt, maybe the size of his thumb.

Blue wiggles his fingers deeper.

Finally, he thinks he’s got most of the roots free. Blue grabs the plant by the thick stem just below the ground-line, and pulls.

In a shower of dust, the root mass comes free, a fist-sized bundle of pale tubers dangling from his hand.

He grins to himself. It’s not much, but it’s something.

As he walks he scrubs the dirt off with hands and sleeves, and any clean tubers go straight in his mouth. They’re actually not bad raw. A little gritty, which Blue’s not thinking about too hard. Definitely more pleasant than the spruce tips. And he’s seeing more plants with the same leaves, some large, most much smaller, so there’s a supply of food for at least a little while.

It’s as his stomach is finally starting to settle that he spots the break in the trees and his heart goes cold.

Blue runs the last few yards, losing some of the damn spruce tips when he hurdles a root. There’s another fucking wall, the same perfect stone, the same seamless join. That makes three walls forming a horseshoe shape, blocking him in.

He drops any pretence of pacing himself. Blue can move much faster when he’s not scouting for food, watching for danger. And this is suddenly much more important than watching for animals that he knows by now just aren’t there. He finds the other end of the creek - again, vanishing into a crack too small for its volume - and not far beyond it, another corner. Another wall. But there’s still a chance, just a little further, lungs burning heart aching eyes gone blurry with the wind -

Water burbles cheerfully out of a crack in the clean white stone, and Blue knows for sure he’s back where he started.

He’s boxed in. There’s no way out.

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Another night of terrible sleep has Blue waking feeling like a horse sat on him.

It’s not just the body aches, though those are definitely a thing after days of sleeping on the ground. He just feels flat. Beyond tired and into the misty grey indifference of ‘I could lie here all day and wouldn’t even feel better after’.

(He’s trapped. There’s no way out of this silent, unnatural forest. There’s no way out.)

(He’s going to die here.)

“No, you’re not,” he tells himself. “Come on. Get up. Food time. Let’s do this.”

The days after his discovery are a bit blurry. Blue had spent a lot of time roaming the forest and looking for a tree he could climb or some other vantage point, pacing the walls looking for weak points, even braving the damn creek to see if the cracks the water poured through could be widened. So far, he’s found nothing.

Finally, Blue drags himself into a sit. He squints through the cold light - so bright, he just woke up damn it - and tries to muster the energy to make it the rest of the way up. “Come on,” he says, trying to emulate Green, “the sooner you get up, the sooner you can find food, and - I don’t fucking know. Try climbing the stupid pine trees again. C’mon, you’ve got shit to do, don’t just sit here all day. Move.” He ignores the pang - it’s not Green, he knows it’s not Green, but it’s the only thing that’s been keeping him moving, sometimes. Pretending his brothers are just out of view, laughing at his attempts to wake himself up.

He’d slept pretty close to the stream last night. Maybe some cold water to the face will get him going.

Blue’s not paying attention as he heads for the sound of water rushing over rocks. Most of the stream bed is sand, but there’s this one patch where many tumbled stones gather in a bend, and the sound is soothing, if nothing else. He blinks sleepily as it comes into view. Light reflecting off the rippling surface gives the illusion there’s things moving underneath. He ignores it, kneeling by the edge to splash his face -

Silver flashes, spraying water in an unexpected arc.

- and Blue tumbles backwards, screeching invectives at every goddess he knows as he falls on his ass.

For a few seconds he sits there, wide-eyed and honestly thinking the loneliness was making him hallucinate. Blue flinches when another fishtail visibly splashes out of the water.

“Din, Farore and Nayru,” he mutters, suppressing a shudder. He’d been convinced the river was dead, somehow. Poisoned, maybe. It took him two days to get desperate enough to even risk drinking it.

After he gets over the instinctive revulsion, Blue finds himself kneeling on the bank eyeing the fish darting past.

They look normal. Through the flash of light-on-water and silvery scales, he’s pretty sure he’s looking at trout. Right colour, right shape, no weird tentacles or slimy growths. Just… fish. Decent sized, too.

Goddesses, he’s so hungry.

But they’re still the only living things in the water. There’s no algae, no tadpoles in the shallows, no stringy water plants being tugged about in the current. What are the trout eating? And, considering the fact that he still hasn’t seen a single worm or insect, what the fuck is he meant to use for bait?

Apparently the trout are also hungry, because the shoddy hook he baits with a bit of tuber attracts a customer within ten minutes.

Blue yanks - the hook breaks - but the fish is already on the bank, flopping uselessly on the grass until Blue kills it.

Then he sits and stares.

Fish. After days on a diet of tubers, leafy greens, and spruce needles, he’s almost hungry enough to eat it raw. The thought of the slimy texture turns his stomach, though, and he can almost hear Vio reciting a list of diseases contracted only from eating raw meat.

Problem is, he has no fire.

The ‘weather’ here has been warm and rainless. There’s been no need for it, unless he wanted to fucking see at night, and he’s been too exhausted to consider the difficulties of gathering fuel in a place with no deadwood, and getting a spark with no flint and no metal. It’d be easier with one of the others. Red, especially, can get a fire going almost magically fast even when all he has is sticks. Blue can do it. But goddesses, he really misses his brothers.

“Red, really wish you were here right now.”

Blue sniffles, and scrubs away the not-tears, and goes hunting for kindling.

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Read Part 2 here!

#whumptober 2023 #blue link #lu blue #four swords #linked universe #the linked universe part comes in later i swear #blue does a lot of squinting in this #i wonder if he needs glasses #IF THERE'S ANYTHING STRANGE IN THIS PLEASE TELL ME #I WROTE THIS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY WRITING AN EXAM #skies writes #lu fic #legend of zelda

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landofzero-archive · 10 months ago

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Battle on the Sugoroku Board - The Die Has Been Cast 6

(Location: “Battle on the Sugoroku Board” program set)

Rinne: Gyahahahahaha♪ Get outta my way, I’m heading through! The troublemaker of the idol industry, Rinne Amagi is passing through~!

Anyone who’s got a problem with that, show yourselves to me! I have no intention of losing by leaving things up to chance!

Stop hiding and come on out! It’s much more fun to try your luck with dice than to stay hidden♪

Yuuta: (Uwah, he’s too easy to understand.

He said rinne-senpai would be a good bullet shield, but I don’t think there’s many people who’d want to fight if he’s that brazen about it.

Since Rinne-senpai has a strong reputation for gambling, maybe people think he’s lucky?

There’s rumors that if he rolls the dice, he’ll definitely get a good result—

Honestly, though, that’s impossible.

In reality, at Starmony Dorms he often says “I lost big time~!” and asks for food from those around him.

A person who makes gambler-like bets, with big stakes and big results.

It’s just the worst…… I absolutely don’t want to become like that.

…… And while I was thinking about that, he already ran so far away!

Now that he’s standing out like that, I have to follow behind.)

Rinne: ………

Yuuta: (Huh, he suddenly stopped?)

Rinne: I know you’re there, Yuta. It’s pretty obvious that you’re following me♪

Yuuta: Eh, when did you notice……!?

Rinne: Unfortunately for you, I have a good sense of intuition.

I lived in the countryside for a long time, so it’s like second nature to me. In a less populated place like this, you can hear everyone’s footsteps, y’know?

If you’re gonna follow me, you’re gonna have to stick with me. That would be more interesting♪

Yuuta: …… Don’t wanna.

Or rather, Rinne-senpai. Let me ask you, why are you walking around like you’re purposely trying to tell me where you are?

If you do that, you won’t be able to win the game

Rinne: Winning the game, huh~? No, that’s just a bonus, right?

The key to success on a variety show is how interesting the footage is. Am I wrong?

Yuuta: …… Well, that is true, but…

Even if we lose the game, as long as we win overall, that’s fine. That kind of behavior is possible since 2wink’s done the same thing.

But that’s also behavior that gets criticized.

If you just want to make a living in the entertainment world, then maybe you should just play the role of a clown and keep your head down.

But, I’ve decided not to do too much of that kind of thing.

Rinne: Hmm……

You know what kind of life you’ll choose, Yuta.

That kind of idea isn’t bad either. So this time I’ll respect your ideas and fight a little more seriously♪

Yuuta: No, I don’t really care about that kind of thing. I’ll just do things my way.

By the way, there’s a building over there. And there’s someone there who isn’t an idol—

Are they maybe a cast member participating in “Battle on the Sugoroku Board?”

Rinne: Looks like it. It looks like a store with mysterious products lined up.

I don’t have a single bit of gold, but should we go? Even if it doesn’t help, it’ll still be good info to bring back to Hebi-chan.

Yuuta: Surely, if they sell support items, it’ll probably make the fight easier.

Let’s check it out for a moment. I don’t want to go all the way over there together, but it’s not a big enough deal that we have to split up.

Rinne: Gyahaha. Don’t be shy, Yuta~♪

Yuuta: I’m not being shy!

Shopkeeper: Welcome. Would you like to buy something?

Yuuta: Hmmhmm. “Reroll Card” is sold for 100G.

The “Substitute Doll”(1) that’s valid if you lose once costs 300G…… There’s quite a few support items.

Rinne: Check it out. In addition to game items, there’s also snacks and vending machines. It really feels like a store.

Yuuta: …… Don’t stick your hand under the vending machine while saying that kind of stuff.

Rinne: I’ve heard that places like this are known for having coins just lying around.

We’re broke. If I just had some coins, we could buy all sorts of things—

Oh– there it is! A coin with 100G written on it!

Yuuta: That’s……

Well, should we buy a “Reroll Card” then? It’s not very strong, but it’d be good insurance if we had one—

Rinne: Puhaah, that soda really hit the spot~♪

Yuuta: What are you doin?! You did not just buy juice with the money you picked up, did you!?

Rinne: My bad, my bad, are you thirsty? If you don’t mind sharing a drink with me, take it!

Yuuta: That’s not what I meant! You aren’t planning ahead at all!

Ahh, that precious 100G was used for juice……

I seriously don’t get it! Why would you do something so selfish, you idiot!

Rinne: So, so shallow, Yuta! Don’t you know they say “you can’t fight on an empty stomach”?

Recording is a long process, so picking up supplies at the store will give you an advantage in the second half. —It makes sense♪

Yuuta: Why are you talking like a strategist!? Because you just ignored the strategy!?

Aaah, I guess I’m back to being broke again. Even though I’m at the store~……

Shopkeeper: If you really want money, why don’t you ask to run an errand for me?

Yuuta: Eh?

Shopkeeper: The reward is 300G. I’d like you to deliver the products from that building over there to my house.

Yuuta: Let’s go let’s go! With 300G, we can buy a “Substitute Doll” and the vice prez’s strategy’ll go well……!

“We’ll” prove to you that we’re not as weak as we used to be. On behalf of Aniki.

TL Notes:

This is a Pokémon reference. There's a reoccurring item called the substitute doll, summoned when a pokémon uses the move substitute.

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#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars translation #rinne amagi #yuta aoi #era: !!#type: event

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horizon-verizon · 4 months ago

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Important quotes:

[...] One that hasn’t been suggested, as far as I can tell, is sincere philosophical opposition. A Blackfyre victory is not only a victory for Daemon, but a massive cultural push toward this Prom King of the Seven Kingdoms “better man” ideology. It’s not hard to imagine why Brynden Rivers would want to oppose that. If the just and peaceable King Daeron II, with the might of the Iron Throne behind him, can be overthrown because he doesn’t fit the masculine ideal, what place will there be for someone whose deviation from this ideal is literally all over his face? If hostility toward the Rhoynar proves this potent a motivation to warfare, what’s next? The Dornish at least keep the Andal faith, which is no small thing; who’s to say that this new regime won’t want a new enemy to rally people against and decide that those weirdo tree-worshippers are a convenient target? I don’t think his motivations were predominantly about principle or self-preservation, but at the same time, if you were in his shoes, wouldn’t you fight tooth and nail to resist that?

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Bloodraven is a bastard in an era where bastardy is a social flash point, he is a warg in a world of disappearing magic, he is an albino in a world where divergence from a physical ideal is treated as a moral failing. At some point, covering (as I hypothesized that Daeron may) or trying to kick down the door into Normalcy (as Daemon and Bittersteel definitely do) becomes corrosive, self-destructive, utterly exhausting. There is nobody else like Bloodraven, and he lives like somebody who knows it.

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Archery is thought to be below knights, supposedly because it isn’t considered to bring too much glory. As a skill, it’s literally worth less in their world[...] The more cynical explanation for this cultural attitude is that it’s bluntly classist: people can make pretty effective bows and arrows and even learn to use them on their own, they allow people to be valuable in battle even if they can’t afford expensive armor and well-kept horses, and once those same people leave the battlefield they can also use those bows and arrows to feed themselves. Brute strength is less important, which means maleness and able-bodiedness are nowhere near as much of an advantage as they are in more “honorable” fights. And what does Bloodraven use to strike down foes? A weirwood bow. Foreshadowing things to come, yes, but I suspect the character made this choice precisely because of its symbolism.

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But the main issue is, look how much of this is scapegoating and outright dehumanization, and how little of it is based on actual events. “He killed his half-brother and nephews on the battlefield" - fair enough, if stripped of the context of Daemon’s kinslaying intent, but then - “and then he made the plague happen and killed the half-brother he was fighting for! Oh, and Baelor Breakspear, who hundreds of reputable sources saw someone else kill! Oh, yes, and somehow he did this overly-complicated magical feticide but still GOT CAUGHT doing it even though he is magical and all-powerful! Also LOOK AT HIS GROSS FACE!” As long as he lives under his own name, he’s going to be demonized. What he looks like is sufficient ammunition against him; if he starts hiding his appearance, he outs himself as a sorcerer, because the way he looked before is very memorable. This exists in dialogue with the social bias that lumps him in with his mortal enemies.

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What’s especially impressive and engaging and above all unusual about this character is that he could, if he wants, cover more effectively than anyone else. He could disappear into the libraries with Aerys; he could either pretend not to have his affinity with ravens or choose to be one full-time. He can pass himself off as a Plumm – or for that matter, probably the Lannister or Tyrell of his choice – or any other person whose skin and hair and eye(s) don’t draw attention. His shape-shifting abilities could be read as a metaphor for the ability to cover, which is learned so well by stigmatized people. But as Melisandre tells us, glamours take a toll. Even with the means to do it, he refuses to crouch defensively and use his abilities to coddle other people’s biases and deny his own identity. He inhabits his own skin, and he throws people by forcing them to meet him on his terms. If people construe your existence as offensive, then the best defense is to give offense. This is radically different from the “wear it like armor” attitude Tyrion Lannister tries to take. Armor is defensive. Armor, like glamors, is something that you put on when necessary but is dead weight to carry when not. Bloodraven wears his difference like a set of brass knuckles. You might resent him for refusing to play by the established rules – but you’ll watch your mouth or lose some teeth.

................

When someone who is outside of society is above it and okay with it, then there’s no need to challenge ourselves on what alienation might be doing to them; when they don’t care about the system, they don’t threaten our perspective on how it’s organized. Bloodraven, though, is always playing toward some long game or another, and he always uses the most powerful tools he can get his hands on to do it. He is not a devotee of chaos. He is about order, bare and unflinching -and he stands in starkly visible contrast to what most people assume their social order to be.

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Better Men: Bias and Bastardy in the Blackfyre Rebellion, Part 3

I tried to keep this post from turning into a general deep dive into Lord Bloodraven, the biggest greatest of bastards and the newest of my favorite characters. Given the subject matter of this series of posts and what we know about the character so far, there’s a lot to explore. I’ve tried to limit this one to the character’s relationship to his own difference and how that influences his thinking.

White as bone were the skin and hair of Brynden Rivers, and his eye - he had only the one, the other having been lost to his half brother Bittersteel at the Battle of Redgrass Field - was red as blood. On cheek and neck he bore the winestain birthmark that had given him his name. (TMK)

In some ways, the Lord Hand is a fairly straightforward exploration of the concept of stigma. His face bears a literal mark, which defines his social identity to a point where he’s publicly named for it - a name referencing an animal, no less.

Straightforward,perhaps,but far from simple.This is a complicated subject, inhabited by a very complicated character.

Keep reading

#the blackfyre rebellions #westerosi history #asoiaf fav posts #asoiaf comment #asoiaf #awoiaf #awoiaf characterization #brynden rivers's characterization #brynden rivers #bloodraven

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sexyvampkitty · 2 years ago

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RP Solo Number Two: 'Untitled'

I sit here, on the couch, in the living room of the Salvatore house, drinking Bourbon...all alone. Damon is obviously day drinking at the Mystic Grill again, since I couldn't find him anywhere in the house when I got up this morning. Plus, he wasn't in bed next to me when I woke up...again...so I pretty much figured out, before I even got dressed and went downstairs that that's where he went. He probably thinks I'm going to put vervain in his Bourbon again. I keep telling him that I won't do that anymore, but he obviously still doesn't trust me. Bad enough, he keeps hiding all of the Bourbon from me, but somehow, after a lot of snooping, I managed to find a bottle. So, here I sit, taking a sip of my drink, waiting for my boyfriend to come home...thinking...was becoming a vampire the right choice for me? Did I rush into the decision a bit too fast? I know it's too late to take it back now...as far as I know there's no cure for vampirism...still...I'm more bored now than when I was a human...and there really is nothing to do in this freaking town, so all we ever do is stay in the house, pretty much 24/7. I mean, it was fun for the first few weeks...the hunting, the feeding and the killing has been fun...and don't even get me started on the sex...but there has to be something more than this. Can I really spend the rest of my life like this, which now lasts forever...literally? And I feel all cold inside...hollow...empty...I feel nothing. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to turn my humanity off either. Maybe it's time to turn it back on. It's obviously trying to creep back in now, or I wouldn't be having these feelings. The problem is, I don't have a clue how to turn it back on fully. I'm not even sure how I flipped my switch in the first place. It just sort of...happened. I still don't know if I can take all of those emotions flooding back in at once, especially after all of the people I've already fed on, killed, or turned. (I turned a young girl one night, because I was super bored...and pissed...at my boyfriend for leaving me all alone so that he could go night drinking at the Grill. So, I went out, found a young brunette-haired girl, attacked and fed on her until she passed out, brought her back to the house, fed on her some more, force-fed her my blood, then snapped her neck. She's still chained up in the basement.) And even if I do turn my humanity back on again, Damon's will still be off. Where would that leave us? How would I get him to turn it back on, when I'm the one who forced him to turn it off in the first place? How will I feel when I no longer want to feed on humans and he still does? Would I still want to be with him then? It's bad enough that I don't know where we stand now. He's usually pissed at me for something. Basically, I'm the definition of the girlfriend from Hell. Well, he 'did' say that I would be his 'eternity of misery'. I'm just trying to live up to his expectations. Still...it's all one big mess. Oh well...something to worry about another time...I guess. For now, I'm going to try to lock these damn depressing human feelings away, sit here and drink my Bourbon...and wait for my sexy honey to walk in the door...even though I totally want to kick his ass for leaving me all alone in the house...again...and leaving without even saying a word to me...again.

#tvd #roleplay

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lykaonimagines · 2 years ago

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Come Home - Sherlock x Reader

Paring: Sherlock Holmes (BBC) x F!Reader

Word Count: 4,233

Description: Sherlock had sent Y/N away shortly after Mary’s death in hopes of protecting her... and preventing her from stopping him from doing what he felt he had to do to save John. Now that she’s back and has all the details, she’s not sure their relationship can survive it.

Other Things: Hurt comfort. Angsty but there’s a happy ending. Timeline-wise The Final Problem doesn’t exist, this takes place shortly after the hug in The Lying Detective. Sherlock’s close enough to his mother to talk about feelings.

Warnings: Mentions prior drug use. Overall mentions/references the events of The Lying Detective and things Sherlock did in there (drug use, near overdose, setting himself up to be killed, etc). Breakup. Some swearing.

Y/N’s fingers flex on the door as she takes a deep breath and finally pushes it open. Dragging the suitcase behind her, she carefully heads up the steps to the landing. Leaving the suitcase there, she clenches her fists tightly and turns to the open door of the flat she’s lived in for years.

Taking a few steps into the room, she freezes as she finally sees Sherlock sitting in his usual chair. His eyes meet hers hopefully, but drop to the cup of tea in his hands as she feels a scowl pass across her face.

Looking over his face, her throat tightens as each new detail hits her. Scruff. He never let his facial hair grow beyond when he’s been… so it’s definitely true then. A black eye, the blood vessels in the same eye burst.

“Have you anything to say?” She asks after a few moments of silence.

“You’ve not brought your luggage in,” he states quietly, his gaze going toward the door briefly.

“I’m not sure I’m staying,” she snaps.

“This is your home. Where would you go?”

“Is it Sherlock? Is it my home?” She asks as she crosses her arms. “Because my last memory of this place was you sending me away.”

A frown pulls at his lips, “I wasn’t kicking you out of our home, I needed to send you somewhere safe where you wouldn’t have to be involved. You still live here, and we’re still together.”

“I’m honestly not sure about either of those things anymore. You sent me away giving me no real explanation, then ignored my every attempt to contact you.”

“I was trying to protect you from-” he begins before being quickly cut off.

“From you trying to kill yourself of drug overdose? Or was it the part where you baited a serial killer to murder you? One of those things?” She blinks at the hot tears crowding her eyes. “I’ve talked to John, I know what’s happened since I’ve been gone. So don’t even try to lie.“

“I… wasn’t going to lie to you,” he says softly, getting to his feet.

“No! Don’t come near me!” She yells and backs further away from him. “You sent me away to follow the most idiotic plan you’ve ever come up with. Broke your promise to me about never touching that shit again. And I find out you were weeks at most from your body just shutting down due to it.”

“I had to-”

“No you didn’t! Maybe John just needed time? Maybe he needed more therapy. He agrees with me that he thinks the entire plan was insane. I’m glad you two have mended all that, and that he’s getting the help he needs and moving forward. But what if he hadn’t made it in time Sherlock? What if he didn’t go along with it? Then what? I was supposed to come home and find you dead of an overdose or get a call that you were killed while in the hospital?”

“There was very little chance he wouldn’t have come,” Sherlock insists trying to take a step closer as she takes another away.

“You promised me!” She shouts as the tears finally drip down her cheeks. “No more drugs and no crazy life risking crap. You promised. I told you I couldn’t do this if you continued on like that. I asked you to tell me honestly if it was something you could do before I got too deep. Now here we are, you’ve broken both of them, lied to me, sent me away and ignored me for months, and I’m far too deep to just say it’s just some differences we can’t get past and just be friends. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

“I’ve hurt you,” he says slowly.

“Excellent deduction, just figured that out did you?” She growls, turning her head away from him.

“Please try to understand,” he takes another step toward her.

“What is there to understand? You didn’t attempt to understand how I would have felt about any of this, why do I have to try to understand your view on it?”

Before he can give a response, she sticks her hand up to silence him. “I don’t even know why I came back here. Maybe I was hoping you’d try to fix this somehow. I should have just stayed where I was.”

Turning back toward the door, she steps out onto the landing and grabs her suitcase. Without turning back she shouts over her shoulder, “I’m done Sherlock. This is done.”

“I- your belongings?” Sherlock asks helplessly from the doorway.

“John already said he’d box them up and send them to me when I get a new place. Goodbye,” she tugs the suitcase down the stairs as quickly as she can, pulling it out the doorway and slamming the door behind her.

Tears streaming down her cheeks, she angrily stomps a few blocks away before sinking onto a bench defeated.

Where could she even go for now? Nearly everyone she knows in the city is connected to her through Sherlock. John has a baby, and Sherlock will surely be going over there.

Scrolling through her contacts, she pauses as she sees one in particular. Mummy Holmes as she’d put herself in there. His parents home… seems inappropriate but what choice does she have? He rarely visits them as is. He wouldn’t happen upon her there like he would at John’s. And she did always tell her she could come to her for help.

Swallowing her pride, she taps the contact and holds it to her ear, gnawing at her bottom lip as it rings.

“Y/N darling! It’s so good to hear from you!” The warm familiar voice greats her and eases the tension in her slightly.

“Hello, how are you?” She asks weakly and sniffles, quickly wiping her nose with a tissue from her pocket.

The line stays silent for a moment, “Y/N, are you alright?”

“I… No. I’m not,” she says swallowing thickly.

“What’s wrong? Do you need something?” Mrs. Holmes asks concernedly.

“Sherlock and I broke up,” she admits, the words burning on her tongue. “And I understand completely if based on that information alone the answer is no, but I… I have nowhere to go and-”

“You can come here, there will be a train at 3 and we will pick you up from the station,” she says firmly. “Or I can phone Mycroft and have him send a car to you. You can absolutely stay here dear.”

“I can take the train,” she responds softly, relief washing over her. “I don’t want to trouble your family more than I already am.”

“I assure you that you aren’t troubling us at all,” Mrs. Holmes says quickly. “Now you get a move on and get to that train. I’ll have a nice warm dinner waiting for us when we get back. We’ll see you soon!”

Hanging the phone up, Y/N stands up and grasps her suitcase and heads toward the train station with a renewed sense of determination.

The first few weeks at the Holmes’ Estate go by relatively quickly. Mrs. Holmes doing her best to make Y/N comfortable, and eventually pulling the whole story from her about the breakup.

Staying in Sherlock’s childhood room however wasn’t the easiest part of the whole ordeal. Being surrounded by all the little things that made him, well, him. Made even harder by the daily phone calls by the man himself.

Just one call a day at exactly 8PM. Each time she would watch it ring, his contact photo enlarged on the screen seeming to taunt her. A simple photo of the two of them, him behind her with his chin on her shoulder and one of his relaxed genuine smiles.

And at the end of the rings each time, he’d leave a voicemail. Sixteen voicemails sitting in the inbox staring back at her each time she unlocked her phone. She couldn’t bring herself to listen to them.

Now the seventeenth voicemail popped up on her screen shortly after the contact picture disappears, the sinking feeling in her deepening. She needed to figure out something. What she’s going to do, where she’s going to go. She couldn’t stay at his parents’ home forever.

Walking out into the family room, she freezes as Mrs. Holmes’ voice carries to her, “Sherlock, honey, slow down. What’s wrong?”

The woman in question looks up to see her, and gestures her over.

Y/N looks away for a moment, then finally gives in and walks over to take a seat next to her on the couch.

Mrs. Holmes quickly puts the call on speaker and sets it in between them.

“Mummy I don’t know what to do anymore,” Sherlock’s voice comes from the device sounding defeated and clearly upset. “She won’t answer my calls, she hasn’t responded to my texts, I’ve no clue where she’s gone and Mycroft refuses to help.”

“Dear, she may just not want to speak to you. You can’t force her to talk if she doesn’t want to.”

The line stays silent for a moment before Y/N’s eyes widen at the sound of a sniffle. “I can’t give up. I know I’ve hurt her, I know I was wrong. I know this is all my fault. But I just… can’t. I don’t know what to say or do to fix it, but I want to. I need her. I need to try.”

“You can’t always fix it when you hurt someone Sherlock, there is only so much people can handle or will deal with,” she says gently.

“I know,” he responds miserably. “I know I have probably ruined it. I don’t know how to accept that fact. Clearly I know it, but it won’t actually process as fact. Every time I think of it my brain goes frantic and tries to think of some way to stop it from being true.”

Y/N points toward the mute button on the phone quickly, making eye contact with Mrs. Holmes, “Darling give me one moment, your father just stepped in.”

Tapping the mute she looks back up at Y/N expectantly.

“Can… can you maybe invite him over here?” She asks hesitantly.

“Are you sure?” She asks asks, seemingly searching Y/N’s eyes. “Once he knows you are here, he may keep coming by trying to talk.”

Looking down at the couch, she grabs onto the fabric and takes a deep breath, “I love him… I don’t want to be apart from him. That’s one of the reasons I was so hurt. And that he seemed to not think he’d actually done anything wrong. But he sounds remorseful now… maybe…”

Mrs. Holmes reaches over and squeezes her hand tightly, “I’ll invite him, if you decide you can’t face him once he’s here you can just stay in the room until he leaves.”

Y/N nods firmly as watches as she unmutes the call, “Sherlock honey, come visit us in the morning tomorrow. It will do you some good to get out of that flat for a bit, and you know we always want to see you.”

“I… that may be a good idea,” he says slowly and shuffles on the other end of the phone.

“Why don’t you take the train at 8 and we’ll pick you up from the station?”

“Ok,” he agrees easily. “I will see you tomorrow then. Good night.”

As she ends the call, Mrs. Holmes wraps an arm tight around Y/N’s shoulders and presses a kiss to her head. “Everything is going to be alright dear.”

Fidgeting in front of the mirror, Y/N looks over her reflection for perhaps the hundredth time since she heard the car return to the house.

Was she ready for this? The question burning in her mind as she went around in circles each time she glanced at the door.

Placing her hand on the handle, she quietly twists it open and takes a step out into the hallway. His voice carries to her immediately, and she pushes herself toward the kitchen with all the determination she can manage.

Leaning against the doorway, she looks him over as he talks to his parents with his back angled toward her.

From his profile it’s obvious he still hasn’t shaved, his facial hair longer than when she last saw him. The black eye nearly gone, but his features sunken in. His hair un-styled and barely brushed hangs dully against his skin. And he appears to be wearing an old t-shirt and baggy jeans she wasn’t even aware he owned.

“Drink your tea before it goes cold,” his mother scolds as she gestures toward the cup in front of him and pushes a plate of biscuits across the table before briefly glancing up at Y/N with a reassuring smile.

“Good morning Sherlock,” Y/N says after a moment, watching as his entire frame tenses then whips around to face her, a biscuit halfway in his mouth that tumbles out to the floor.

His eyes widen and he stumbles to his feet quickly, taking a step toward her cautiously before rapidly closing the distance between them and throwing his arms around her. Her cheek presses hard into his chest as his arms tighten around her shoulders and he buries his face in her hair.

Her own arms wrap around his waist and she rubs his back soothingly. His body trembles against hers, his breathing sounding labored against her ear.

“You’re here,” his states, his voice muffled from her hair.

“I am,” she agrees, and tries to pull back to see his face. But his arms quickly tighten and pull her back in.

“I don’t want to let go of you,” he admits softly. “I thought I would never see you again.”

“That had been the initial plan.”

His breath catches in his throat and he makes a garbled sound before pulling her body completely flush to his own. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault, I know how badly I’ve ruined this.”

“Do you?” She asks as she gently runs her fingertips along his spine.

“I’ve lied to you, I’ve left you out, I sent you away, I broke my promises. I was using again, I didn’t consider what you would have felt if it went wrong. I didn’t even consider how you would feel with it working out. I just expected you to be fine with it even though I hurt you,” he says miserably, his breath warm against her head. “I’ve done everything wrong and I have no right to ask it of you, but I need you, please.”

She runs her hand slowly up his back and neck until she reaches his hair, twirling her fingers in the curls she finds there and smiles slightly at the almost purr-like sound he makes at the contact. “I need you to look at me and say it.”

His hold on her slowly loosens, letting his hands go to her shoulders as he takes a step back and her hands move down to his hips.

His eyes meet hers, the redness and irritation from the tears he tries to quickly wipe away on his shirt is obvious but she doesn’t mention it.

“I’m sorry, I have royally screwed up, I’m an idiot to have risked us without a thought,” he states as his grip on her shoulders tightens. “I could make promises again, but I know they mean little after what I’ve done. All I can say is I love you, and I need you in my life. I won’t push you away, I’m going to work on letting you in. I won’t use again, for anything. Recreational or case.”

“And?” She presses quietly.

“And I won’t be as reckless with my life. It’s not just my own anymore. We built a life together and I have no right to carelessly put it at risk.”

Lifting her hand from his hip, she reaches up to cup his cheek. Smiling at him gently as he nuzzles into her palm, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you,” he says firmly, pulling her in closer once again. “Please come home.”

Reaching her other hand up, she grabs ahold of the fabric just below the collar of his shirt and yanks his face down closer to her. “I’ll come home,” she whispers against his lips before pressing them together.

His lips press nearly bruisingly back, his lips moving in a quiet desperation on her own as his arms slip around her waist. As their lips part, a shuttered breath he lets out ghosts over her lips and his body slowly relaxes into her.

“Perhaps you should both come have your tea and give yourselves a chance to relax into this?” Mrs. Holmes voice makes them jump as they remember their audience of two.

“Good point,” Y/N responds sheepishly, slowly pulling back from Sherlock. “I’ll just grab myself a cup.”

Sherlock nods reluctantly, brushing against Y/N briefly as he walks back to his seat at the table.

Heading to the table herself, she steps toward her usual chair before feeling a pair of arm wrap around her midsection and swiftly tug her back into Sherlock’s lap. “I could sit in my own seat you realize right?”

“Mm, a physical possibility yes,” he mumbles and grabs a biscuit from the tray and brings it to her lips. “However, until moments ago I still thought I’d never hold you again. Therefore for my own health and well-being, you should stay where you are.”

Taking a bite of the biscuit, she shrugs gently and leans back against his chest, “If it’s a matter of medical well-being then I suppose I must.”

“Good,” he responds quietly as she looks up at his flushed cheeks. His eyes looking across the table at his mother’s warm gaze on them, his father’s arm across her shoulders with a similar smile.

“I, for one, am very glad you two are working this out. You both seem so distressed apart,” Mrs. Holmes says as she reaches across the table to pat Sherlock’s hand. “And I certainly didn’t want to lose Y/N from the family.”

Sherlock nods in agreement, looking back down at Y/N briefly, “Is this where you’ve been this entire time?”

“Yes, I really didn’t know where to go. I feel safe here, and they graciously let me stay despite the situation. I was here while deciding what exactly I was going to do.”

“You can always come here dear,” Mr. Holmes says with a gentle smile. “You are part of the family, even if our son seemingly does everything to make you want to leave it.”

“Alright fair, I deserve that,” Sherlock responds with a physical cringe. “Where had you intended on going after here?”

“I was talking with a friend out of the country, had put some thought into moving in with her. I have actually applied for jobs there already,” she says with a shrug.

“Offers you will turn down to return home I would presume?” He asks in an even tone, but his eyes betray a moment of panic.

“I said I’d come home, I’ll come home,” she reassures him and presses a kiss to his cheek.

“You’ve been in the guest room here?”

“I put her in your old room,” Mrs. Holmes says with a bit of a smug smile. “I may have hoped it would possibly… inspire a reconciliation.”

“Sneaky,” Y/N laughs and reaches for her tea. “It did have me missing him even more. There’s something so inherently Sherlock about the room. Including rolling over in the middle of the night and stretching out, only to brush against a piece of paper with soil quality test results on it.”

Sherlock stays quiet at that, his eyes gently searching her as she turns back to his parents and continues the conversation.

Twenty minutes go by with his relative silence in their conversation before his head whips toward his parents, “Would it be alright if we stayed here for the day and night?”

“Of course,” his mother responds immediately. “We can have dinner all together tonight. I’ll even invite your brother. A nice family dinner would do us all some good.”

“If you must invite him,” Sherlock rolls his eyes but gives her a tight smile before adjusting his hold on Y/N.

Sweeping her up as he gets to his feet, he carries her bridal style from the room as he announces they’re going up to take a short rest.

“And if I’m not tired?” She teases.

“You are. You were up all night thinking about how this would go,” he answers. “You were nervous.”

Pushing his old bedroom door open with his shoulder, he walks through the door to set her on the bed and turns to shut the door behind them.

He quickly sets to pulling his shoes off then gets on the bed to crawl around her to lay down and press his back flush with the wall, “Joining me?”

Laying back, she grabs the blankets and pulls them over the two of them, sliding in closer until his hand lays on her hip and guides her even closer.

Plopping her head on the pillow beside his, her eyes start roaming over him once again, “Now then, where did this outfit come from? I’ve never seen you in this.”

“Under the rest of my clothes. I… have mainly stayed in my bed clothes lately. I didn’t have the motivation for a suit today. I look rather awful don’t I?” He asks with a frown.

“You look… very worn down at the moment,” she admits reaching out to run her thumb along the dark circle under one of his eyes. “You also still haven’t shaved.”

“I haven’t used since the day in the morgue,” he says in response to her silent question.

“You’ve just decided you like facial hair?” She asks with a raised brow, hand slipping down to run along the hair on his jaw.

“Hardly,” he rolls his eyes and leans into her touch.

“What have you been doing the last seventeen days then?”

“Staying in bed. In my mind palace. Going between trying to think of any way to change your mind and trying to accept that you were done with me. John came over a few times, forced me to eat, and packed your things. They’re sitting in boxes stacked against the wall. Started unpacking one of them one night, putting your clothes back in the drawer, convinced that if I just…” he trails off into silence and his eyes shut tightly.

“Convinced that what?”

“That if I just put everything back, that I’d wake up and you’d be there. That you’d change your mind when you saw all your things still in place, realize you wanted to be at home with me. I put them all back after a day, to not cause further problems for John.”

“Well we can put it all back together this time, hopefully permanently back in place yeah?” She offers and lays her free hand on his chest.

His eyes blink open as his own hand covers hers to move it to the left side of his chest, “If you go again, please just take it with you. I clearly can not handle it well, look at me Y/N.”

“Something so darkly romantic from the one who always said sentiment was a defect on the losing side,” she teases lightly, pressing her forehead to his.

“Mhm, still is,” he states, his eyes drifting down to her lips for a moment. “I’m an absolute mess riddled with sentiment for you. I’m losing that battle, and it’s far too late to correct it. I’m in too deep, and I’ll drown without you there. And frankly, I don’t give a damn as long as you stay with me until my time comes.”

“And that time better be a long ways away, I’m agreeing to this under the condition I’m going to be waking up next to an old man Sherlock in thirty, forty years.”

A small smile spreads across his lips and he exhales deeply, “Just the fact you want that is enough for me.”

“Lift your head would you?” He says, shifting his arm under her as she does, pulling her in until she rests her head on his shoulder. “More comfortable?”

“Mmm,” she mumbles, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” he admits, settling his chin on her head and cradling her with his other arm. “Get some sleep love.”

“You too,” she replies as she feels his hold on her tighten. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Will you?” He asks, clearing his throat roughly to cover up the crack in his voice.

“I will. And if you’re serious about everything you’ve said, I’ll be there every time you wake up.”

“I will hold you to that,” he says softly, turning his head to bury his face in her hair. “I will see you in a few hours then, messy hair and all.”

A giggle erupts from her throat before she can stop it, and she snuggles in closer to his chest, “Messy hair and all then.”

----

Sherlock Taglist: @stephenstrangeaddictions @strangeions @asgardianprincess1050 @rbymoon @elisa20beth @black-and-white1 @gaitwae @azu21 @mirikusashes @bubsonnobx @yuu-chan-is-still-a-student12 @catsr0pia

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#Sherlock #Sherlock Holmes #sherlock bbc #sherlock x reader #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlock holmes x y/n #benedict cumberbatch #fanfiction

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elysianslove · 4 years ago

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oh boy idk if you’ve ever talked about this before (i’m new to the blog, and you’re so very talented!!! you make my dumb horny heart just 🦋🦋) BUT what are your thoughts on which of the haikyuu boys are best/worst at being edged? like who’s begging and crying after 20 minutes and who’s able to hold out for hoouurrs before getting just a touch whiny. i. need to know. for science 🤲🏼

thank you so much!!! welcome to the blog my love 🥺 but omg. thoughts. so many.

HAIKYUU BOYS THAT CAN HANDLE EDGING

matsukawa issei; he’s purely holding out this long out of spite. as if he has something to prove, which he very much does. he’s barely bucking up into you, trying his best to hold his pants and his hisses from how borderline painful this is, but you can see how tense he is. his abs keep spasming, his biceps flexing as he fists the sheets. he keeps his legs spread for you though, lets you suck at his cock, fondle his balls, stroke at the base and squeeze at the tip with your much smaller hand. he lasts a good an hour and 10 minutes. honestly, genuinely impressive. he won’t let you get off easy though, good luck with that.

oikawa tōru; originally, i’d think he’d be so bad at this, but honestly, oikawa’s orgasm control is so impressive? even when he’s fucking you, he’s lowkey edging himself because he always holds off until you cum. so letting you edge him isn’t too much of a problem. he definitely cries and begs like a bitch, but he lasts, oh he lasts. approximately 35 ish minutes. definitely cums without warning and without permission, and you can’t decide whether he did it on purpose to piss you off or because he genuinely couldn’t continue. it’s okay, just overstimulate him till he’s crying all over again. tōru’s a very pretty crier, after all <3

kita shinsuke; oh my god, the best boy. he’d last days if you asked him to. he’ll be quietly, as quietly as he can, panting and whining and groaning, silent tears streaming down his face every time you pull away from his cock. every time he bucks his hips up, it’s followed by a trail of “sorry, sorry, m’sorry,” that it’s just so adorable. has you cooing at him, soothingly rubbing at his thigh and murmuring that it’s okay, that he’s doing so good. he lasts around 45 minutes, but when he cums, he promises to do better next time, to last longer. anything for you <3

sugawara kōshi; this fucking masochist. he likes it. he likes the pain. probably was the one to suggest it to you. he sits between your spread legs, back pressed to your chest with your hand stroking his dick from behind. you stroke at him until he’s so close and pull away, watching as his cock bobs desperately, and he moans for it. he’s so vocal about it, begging and pleading, but when you go to ask him if he wants to cum yet, he tells you, “no, no, i can— more, more.” he lasts 2 whole hours. it’s like, kind of scary. he does pass out after and actually scare, but he gets up a minute later with a cheeky smile like, “again?”

miya atsumu; like oikawa, he will cry and sob so fucking much, and he’ll make such a mess, but god, does he last. atsumu thrives off of praise, and having you tell him how good he’s doing for you, such a good boy, atsumu, all for me? has him drooling for it. both him, and his cock. he’ll get a little dumb halfway, almost just letting you use him, but he does whine a lot, crying and pleading for you to let him cum, but it’s all bark and no bite. it barely has anything to it. i firmly believe he’d be one of top, lasting around an hour and 30 minutes, just because atsumu gets so lost in everything, including giving up control.

kuroo tetsurō; another one to last mainly out of spite. he wants to prove to you it’s not much, it’s not that bad, it’s easy work. you quickly make him eat his words by the third time you pull away, and it just dawns on him that he’s the one that put himself in this position in the first place. it’s no one’s fault but his own, and because he doesn’t wanna seem like a coward, backing out so quick, he lasts at least 30 minutes, and gets through it without begging, only spitting out curses and panting and groaning deeply.

akaashi keiji; sweet boy keiji definitely lasts, all for you. he’s not too vocal either, just light curses to himself, muffled moans, broken, bitten down sobs. he genuinely does love to let you have your fun with him, because submitting to you is just so satisfying. and i can see akaashi loving edging so much because of how good the orgasm that eventually comes is. like the moment you give him permission to, he’s seeing stars, and it’s why he lasts as long as he does, why he tries to push for longer. he lasts a good 45 minutes, and he’s been trying to beat that record for a while now. don’t worry, he will.

sakusa kiyoomi; is so fucked out, so far gone, to the point that you don’t even think he’s in control of his own body anymore. even if you told him to cum, he wouldn’t. he’s so deep in this headspace of being under your control it’s incredible. it’s mesmerizing. he looks so pretty, cock so red and wet and hard as ever, painfully so, against his pale skin, twitching and bobbing and begging for attention. he lasts 40 minutes. it’s the most gorgeous 40 minutes of both your lives.

asahi azumane; so good! such a good boy!!! doesn’t last so long, but definitely tries his best for you. it’s some 20 or so minutes in that he cums, but he immediately starts chanting out apologies, begging for you to forgive him, to give him another chance. he continues to try until he can last so long, but it’s the fact that he’s willing to that has your heart soaring and your body heating up.

HAIKYUU BOYS THAT CANNOT, WHATSOEVER, HANDLE EDGING

bokuto kōtarō; baby boy is crying 10 minutes in. he can’t handle it. if you tie him up, he’ll rip through them, flip you over, and fuck into you till he’s filling you up. he won’t even try. he watched a porn video where a person lasted an hour and thought, oh must be worth it, and asked you to try it on him. just. it’s just not for him. he prefers the pain of overstimulation over edging, forever.

iwaizumi hajime; please he lasts like 2 minutes. he just hates it so much. on him, at least. he can edge you for hours, and he’d the most satisfied man on earth. but sit between his legs and tease him by sucking at his cock, only to pull away just as he’s about to cum? somebody clearly has a death wish <3 but do bring it up and ask to try it! he still won’t last lol. but make him last. watch him cry. make iwaizumi hajime cry. make him. it’s beautiful.

kageyama tobio; mannnn kageyama can cum untouched, hands free, if you really tried. grind down against him for a minute and he’s cumming in his pants for you. he has no concept of orgasm control whatsoever, and if you tried it on him he’d just get angry at you??? like fine no sex for u tf. he lasts a good 5 minutes, so good for him or whatever.

kozume kenma; he wants to last. he wants to. but you have him crying, sobbing, 20 minutes in, and he just unintentionally spills down your throat without warning. of course, you’d felt the twitch of his cock, but you’d wanted to see where his head was at exactly. after he came, he felt so humiliated, but he still forced eye contact with you and went, “do it again. i’ll last an hour this time.” like ok no problem for me :)

ushijima wakatoshi; doesn’t realize he’s being edged, and when you pull away just as he’s about to cum he sits up and stares at you with a deadpan face like, “that was not very nice of you.” he just. finds it boring honestly. he doesn’t want to drag something out like that for so long. he indulges you, sure, but for like 3 minutes, before he’s like alright time to fuck you.

hinata shōyō; hinata’s just way too overexcited. he really does put his mind to it, but i think he gets too in his head about it that he just ends up cumming right away. but it’s a ruined orgasm, cause you pull away just as he’s cumming, so it’s so not satisfying, but for some reason, hinata loved it? so yeah, lasts 0 seconds, but discovers new kink!

HAIKYUU BOYS THAT CAN, BUT JUST DON’T WANT TO

suna rintarō; oh he most definitely can. you cannot convince me he wouldn’t be able to. as much as suna is lazy, he’s just as impatient, and he can barely handle how foreplay seems to drag on forever. he wants to be inside you, and he wants to be inside you now. it’s ridiculous. if he could though, he’d last a good hour probably. he just really doesn’t want to.

daichi sawamura; could 100% do it if he really put his mind to it, but just. why? what’s the point of not orgasming? he just doesn’t get it </3 you can try to convince him by making him do it on you, but chances are he’s gonna realize how much he loves to do it to you only. daichi’s so possessive it’s crazy, and he gets this mischievous glint in his eye whenever he realizes how good something makes you feel, especially if it’s pain. he is a dangerous man.

miya osamu; most definitely would be able to last hours, but again, he just doesn’t want to. it’s also not one of those situations where he prefers overstimulation either. like osamu’s plenty kinky, sure, but those two aren’t what cross his mind when you say, “let’s change things up a bit.” it’s not that he gets bored of it either. he just. doesn’t wanna do it. like he can spend time making you feel good, and vice versa, with way more different things. and he seems like a very in the moment guy, like choking you in the moment or making you squirt. yk :)

satori tendō; oh tendō loves edging, just on you. he never really gives you a chance to ever try to with him, honestly. he just loves, loves, loves to edge you, but not because he wants to purposefully hurt you, but rather to praise you, to tell you how good you are for him, to make you feel so good when he finally lets you cum. if you were to edge him, he’d honestly probably last over two hours. like not even exaggerating, he probably would. but no, you’re more fun!

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rivangel · 3 years ago

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I’m going to talk about Kenny and Levi’s relationship because I was reminded of a panel (and for fun).

///spoilers for season 3 of aot; mention of abortion

I will never ever get over this panel when Kenny was talking to grandpa Ackerman about Kuchel. Obviously it’s very much up to audience interpretation / headcanon what kind of relationship Kenny had with his sister, but the fact that she’s apparently his ‘little’ sister makes me think he protected her so much when they were growing up - considering the type of man kenny is (was) it couldn’t have been a great upbringing, and he clearly cares a lot about her.

He ‘finally’ found her, meaning he’s been searching for a long time. His head is bowed and his hands are stuffed in his pockets even though his legs are spread apart - attempting to look cocky and put-together as always, but he’s still devastated.

He didn’t want that life for her, I think that’s that obvious (though there’s nothing wrong with sex work), and especially in the Underground. And she’s pregnant from one of her customers.

The reason I think Kenny would’ve suggested she got an abortion is because the Underground is no place to grow up (he would definitely know a thing or two about that), and in general the world is a terrible, cruel place; no place to raise a child, anyway.

I think it’s very interesting that we see how he felt about the baby (Levi) before he was born, and then takes him in when he visits again a couple years later and sees firsthand that Kuchel’s passed away. Kenny definitely didn’t visit in that span of years - they would’ve recognized each other - so i think he accepted the life Kuchel had chose but was too torn up over what life it was up until he found Levi.

Now Kenny is on the verge of death, and Levi’s found him. I think it’s very important to pay attention to Levi’s word choice here: “Why did you leave me?”

Why did you leave me? Not ‘Why did you leave?’ Not ‘Why did you go?’ or ‘Why didn’t you stay?’. Levi is speaking very personally when he asks this, and as a character he’s always careful with what he chooses to say. Kenny’s abandonment of him has always cut deeply for Levi.

He’s not bitter either - he looks agonized. For years he never knew why Kenny abandoned him; in an official interview, it’s revealed that Levi very much looked up to Kenny and valued his praise for his strength. When he left, he had to ask himself why he even possessed it if Kenny up and abandoned him anyway? He must’ve been left heartbroken.

And when Kenny does admit he wasn’t a good father figure, that he wasn’t good enough, and exposes that error in his character, I imagine that really touched Levi. He doesn’t have much self-worth at all placed anywhere but in his capability to fight, and even then he loses almost everyone he cares for.

So it wasn’t the case that Levi couldn’t live up to Kenny’s expectations, he did: he trusted Levi enough that he could survive on his own, he trained him to be strong.

He learns that Kenny isn’t on some pedestal either, but that they’re the same in many ways - they just took different paths in life. Levi also wasn’t left totally alone in this world - they’re related by blood - but he only learns that in Kenny’s final moments.

Especially in the second panel he looks teared-up, emotional, like he’s about to cry.

I don’t think it’s recognized nearly enough the impact Kenny had on Levi as a person. Levi escaped the Underground and survived in it for so many years because of Kenny’s kindness that day he found him. Even though he’s cruel, and he was once a serial killer, he still couldn’t let Levi, an extension of sister, die there in that room. I’m sure Levi internalized that kindness (besides the extent his mother’s love influenced him) and that’s a large part why he became the man he is.

They really see each other eye-to-eye in this moment despite having been on opposing sides of the fight. Kenny is far from a perfect parental figure, let alone a perfect man, and in this moment he admits it; he passes the serum on to Levi and gives up his dream of ultimate power.

#another levi character analysis who coulda guessed i had it in me /s #attack on titan #levi ackerman #kenny ackerman #character analysis #snk #aot levi #aot #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #snk levi #levi attack on titan #levi ackermann

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lebenspurpur · 3 years ago

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headcannons that just make sense

|Michael|

⇝ Michael loves children. He wouldn't want any himself but he enjoys watching them since Michael loves their natural lively imagination.

⇝ He loves candy, especially gummies and candy corn.

⇝ Michael enjoys reading. He is a quiet person and very intelligent. Reading is one of his favorite hobbies to gain knowledge.

⇝ Michael definitely broke through the floor in the old Myer's house before.

⇝ Michael likes cats, surprisingly. He doesn't understand the idea of pets but cats are so independent and quiet. He tries to copy their moves a lot.

⇝ This man literally doesn't have an ounce of social intelligence. Small talk with him would be so uncomfortable and awkward. He doesn't know how it works.

|Vincent|

⇝ Vincent is stronger than Bo.

⇝ He secretly despises the mask. His mom technically made it for him to make Vincent understand that he looks like a freak. He wishes he'd be more confident and could live without it.

⇝ Vincent loves Bo with all his heart even if he's a narcissistic asshole.

⇝ Vincent is scared for Lester a lot. Since he's younger Vincent wants to protect him.

⇝ Vincent wants to learn an instrument. Piano would be his favorite but violins are a close second place.

⇝ Vincent secretly adores being with both of his brothers, even if one bullies him and the other one reeks.

⇝ Vincent doesn't like his father. They never had a close relationship.

⇝ The things Vincent has done for the aesthetic of them... God..

|Bo|

⇝ Bo would actually sacrifice himself for both of his brothers.

⇝ He feels bad about treating Vincent like he does but his pride is too big for him to apologize.

⇝ Bo doesn't actually know how to repair cars but he's learning.

⇝ Bo wishes he could draw like Vincent.

⇝ He is very lonely sometimes, alcohol is his best friend in these times. He's high-key alcoholic.

⇝ Bo was the child in elementary school that brought a knife to class.

⇝ He had a teacher that realized his abuse and subsequent aggression. She protected him and he saw her like a mother.

⇝ Bo sometimes wants to leave Ambrose and just discover what lays beyond his beloved America.

|Lester|

⇝ Lester loves Halloween, he makes the twins go trick or treating with him. Since nobody opens the door (what a surprise), he buys candy himself and places filled bowls all over town.

⇝ Lester has a very close relationship with Vincent. He stands up for him when Bo gets too harsh.

⇝ As a child he used to sleep in Vincent's bed when he had a nightmare.

⇝ Lester believes in true love which is absolutely adorable.

⇝ Lester has had emotional deep talks with his dog, Jonesy.

⇝ Lester was the child that actually loved his parents, he misses them a lot.

⇝ He used to run to the forest and looked for fairies and goblins as a child.

⇝ Lester likes to watch Vincent draw, it calms him when he's stressed.

|Otis|

⇝ Otis would never tell them but he loves his adoptive family, the Firefly family, so much.

⇝ He's sure that if they hadn't found him he'd be dead by now. Either because of drugs or suicide.

⇝ Otis secretly wants a dog.

⇝ He is very intelligent and if he tries he can actually be impressive when it comes to stating his opinions and beliefs.

⇝ Otis daydreams daily how his life would've worked out if he was "normal".

⇝ He overthinks his actions a lot. He doesn't feel bad about them but he analyzes the mistakes so they won't happen again.

|Baby|

⇝ Baby has had days where she just laid in bed and cried. She isn't always as happy as everyone believes.

⇝ Baby was very insecure about her body as a teenager. The other girls bullied her which led to quickly decreasing confidence.

⇝ Baby is very glad to have Otis as a brother, he's her ultimate idol.

⇝ Baby is scared by horror movies. She's not squeamish but she gets scared easily, especially when the subject's demons or supernatural horror.

⇝ Baby fell in love with a girl in her school once. Unfortunately it was a bully of hers.

⇝ Baby forced Otis multiple times to go and buy pads for her.

|Billy|

⇝ Billy is a little geek and we all know it.

⇝ Definitely a gamer though back in his time, video games just started developing.

⇝ Billy has comfort characters without knowing what that means.

⇝ He has thought about making out with Stu before.

⇝ Billy is a very emotional person even if he doesn't show it in public. The only one who has seen the emotional side is Stu.

⇝ Billy wants to dress more alternative but that'd ruin his "perfect disguise". He'd love some leather boots and dark eyeliner.

|Stu|

⇝ Stu is sure that he's bisexual though he hasn't outed himself yet. His closet is made out of glass let's not lie here.

⇝ Stu is actually a very empathetic character which is why Billy loves him so much.

⇝ Stu loves everything that involves rollercoasters, he's an adrenaline junkie.

⇝ He either has ADHD or ADD.

⇝ He is actually pretty tolerant with a lot of stuff. He'd definitely wear nail paint and a skirt, sure. He's all against toxic masculinity.

⇝ His room is so fucking messy.

|Brahms|

⇝ Brahms has porn magazines hidden in the walls.

⇝ Brahms really likes gardening. He's a huge fan of planting his own stuff.

⇝ He is terrified of wild animals. This man is literally scared of wolves even though that's the last thing that'd attack him.

⇝ Brahms doesn't like fire all that much. He usually sits far away from it.

⇝ If he had a camera he'd totally take creepy stalker pictures through the walls.

⇝ He knows how to cook, surprisingly. Though he himself lives off of toast and tea.

⇝ He isn't stupid but his intelligence mainly bases on literature. He couldn't solve a simple equation yet he knows "Romeo and Juliet" like he wrote it.

⇝ Brahms hates sports. Especially running. He will throw himself on the ground after two minutes and whine.

|Josef|

⇝ Josef either lives vegan or vegetarian.

⇝ He wishes he had a pet. He'd love a cat or a dog.

⇝ Josef actually loved his parents even if they didn't have a close relationship. They passed away which is why he has so much money.

⇝ Bisexual king. I mean come on, he wanted to seduce Aaron as well as Sara.

⇝ He knows a lot about healthy eating. Fresh vegetables as well as fruit are a must in his house.

⇝ He doesn't actually have a house, he rents apartments or tiny houses for a few months and then leaves again.

⇝ He wanted to study medicine when he was a teenager. His grades were good enough as well.

|Thomas|

⇝ Thomas loves animals a lot. He wishes he wouldn't have to slaughter them sometimes but at the time he didn't have a choice.

⇝ While he despises school he loves gaining knowledge. If it wasn't for the bullies he'd gone back to school.

⇝ He hums lullabies to himself while he works.

⇝ He has thought about killing Hoyt yet he knows that he isn't allowed to kill family.

⇝ Tommy never had the chance to understand what's so wrong about cannibalism. He kind of gets it though.

⇝ Thomas has a huge artisanal intelligence. He can craft very well, as well as repair things.

⇝ He makes little dolls and toys when he's not busy.

⇝ He too wishes he had a pet with fur so he could pet it.

⇝ He has stamina like an ox. Thomas is probably able to run for hours.

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sukirichi · 3 years ago

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reckless [02.]

With a lackadaisical playboy as your boss, being reckless wasn’t an option. But on the one time you let loose and made mistakes, your life is shattered, and now you’re playing house with your insufferable boss who is the father of your baby.

✘ cw. angst, toxic situations

✘ note. yes, feel free to scream at me in the asks. but like don’t worry, i promise there’s more to come and there’s more to happen! it’s going to get fluffier as we go hehehehe. ALSO, I can’t help but feel that Zayn’s “Let Me” speaks perfectly to CEO playboy Gojo. hmph.

one ✘ two ✘ three

One glance at the tall man beside you, and you would’ve thought he would pass out soon.

Satoru had been endlessly fidgety hours before the appointment. Flicking from music stations to another, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel or sighing at the sight of you calmly watching the city go by in a flash – it was clear he was restless. Judging from the dark circles he tried to conceal under a pair of shades, he probably hadn’t slept much last night as well.

Now that you were both inside the clinical room, with you laying back down on the reclined bed, belly exposed and all for him to marvel at, his knee hadn’t stopped bouncing. “Satoru, calm down. It’s just a doctor’s appointment.”

“Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants. “I’m just…excited yet nervous, you know? It feels so real now.”

Real didn’t begin to cover it. Although you masked your nervous quite well, you felt your stomach tighten when a woman came in. Her smile was gentle and comforting enough, talking you both through the process and spilling little fun facts about pregnancy. She applied a cool gel over your belly before turning to a screen, where mixed dots and waves of black and white blurred in front of your visions. Your eyes widened in awe, throat dry from the inability to speak. The baby had always felt real, but seeing it with your own two eyes, a small figure barely even a comprehensible shape in the screen, you couldn’t help but tear up a little.

“That’s mine?” Satoru breathed out, absentmindedly looping his hands through yours. It made you stiffen for a quick second, but your attention was quickly pulled back to the sonogram. “We made that?”

Your heart clenched at his words.

He sounded so happy – like all his dreams came true and you’d just given him a gift that was beyond priceless. You supposed it really was; a baby was always a miracle and joy to have, but this child wasn’t made out of love. How could he have so much fondness for something he didn’t want in the first place?

“The baby is perfectly healthy. This pregnancy doesn’t seem like a high-risk one, but it’s too early to tell so we’ll keep checking in on you,” the doctor pushed her glasses back to her nose, the sound of her cool voice pulling you back from a dangerous path of self-doubt and wariness. “Do you guys want to know the gender?”

Glancing at Satoru, you shook your head. It was amusing that you didn’t need to share words before he got the meaning behind one look, and he squeezed your hand as if to say he understood.

“I’d like that to be more of a surprise. Thank you, doctor.”

“Congratulations on being a father, Sir,” she bowed, and it occurred to you just now she was probably a family doctor. Satoru did end up keeping his promise that your pregnancy be kept private for a while. This little detail made you turn to him with shock written all over your face, though his attention was centred in on the swirling monochrome colours on the screen. Whether the doctor noticed the brewing tension between you two or not, you were still gad when they bowed once more to excuse themselves. “I’ll leave you two to talk now.”

The moment she was gone, you sat up and pushed your blouse down. Satoru’s demeanour had changed as well. His smile was wiped from his face, replaced only by a slight downturn of his lips.

Sighing, you swung your legs over the bed, not minding one bit that he was inches away from resting his chin onto your thighs. “Is there something you’re not telling me? You’ve been so worried since we got here.”

Satoru winced.

“Am I that obvious?”

“Even if you aren’t, it’s not that hard to see through you,” you spoke gently, a spirit possessing you because there would’ve been no other logical reason on why you placed a palm over his. Satoru’s hands were warm and large as he cupped your knee, tracing little patterns over your jeans as he kept his gaze lowered to the floor. It was an odd sight to see; that the Gojo Satoru refused to look a woman in the eye. “Tell me. What’s wrong?”

Satoru’s sigh is painfully drawn out, though his chuckles took the brunt.

“I don’t know what to do – how to be a father, I mean. Don’t you ever get worried…that maybe we might fuck up and ruin someone’s life?”

“Hey,” you cupped his cheek, forcing him to look you in the eyes – which you really wished he didn’t, because you’d never seen such azure this up close before. It was no secret that his eyes alone stole the hearts of people, but you had to remind yourself he broke them as well, so that you pulled away right before he got too close for comfort. It wasn’t what he needed anyway. Satoru simply required reassurance, so you opted for an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Weren’t you the one telling me the other day we’ll work it out?”

“Yeah, but…”

“But what?”

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head, a smile lighting up his features once more. “Are you feeling good? There’s someplace I want to take you, as a celebration for our healthy baby.”

You pursed your lips. As much as you appreciated his enthusiasm, this ‘celebration’ didn’t sound like a good idea. You’ve made mistakes before and now you lived the consequence of it; being reckless was outdated. Caution, wariness, and space were the top three perfect recipes for the complete opposite of a disaster.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Why not?” he challenged, taking your hand in his as he guided you out the clinic. You made no comment on why he led you out the back where he’d parked his car, even going as far to bow for you as he opened your door. “Liven up a little, we got good news today! Plus, we didn’t both take a day for nothing. Come on, you’re going to have fun, I promise you!”

“And where would we go where people won’t recognize you?”

“Somewhere people are too lost in their own world to focus on others,” Satoru announced before sending you a side glance, smooth hands already on their way to rev the engine.

This wouldn’t go down well. Or at least that was what you wanted to believe, because his smile and excitement were too contagious that you couldn’t restrain the smile you wore.

“A carnival? Really? We’re too old for this.”

“We’re never too old for anything,” he insisted, placing his hands on your shoulders as he maneuvered from stall to stall. Everywhere around you, children and people of all ages milled by, laughter and screams that fading into the distance. One survey at the long, endless lines for the rides and crowded spaces, you grimaced, feeling an uncomfortable weight resting on your shoulders that was beyond Satoru’s hands. “Aw, come on, don’t be such a bore. Day offs like these are rare and think about the baby! Don’t you think they would’ve wanted us to get a long?”

“You’re just using the baby as an excuse to have fun.”

Of course he would – Gojo Satoru was like a man-child. Whether it was someone randomly bringing donuts or puppies into the office, he easily lit up like a firework, seemingly finding joy in every little thing. Being stuck in the office and forced to work his ass off under your supervision must’ve taken a toll on him too.

Add on the fact he hadn’t gone out on dates or parties ever since he found out he was going to be a dad, the desperation to go out and do something was written all over his face.

Satoru pouted. “That’s mean. Take that back.”

“No.”

“And I’m the childish one here?” he snickered. You merely rolled your eyes at him and gave in; too much time spent working and not enough time relaxing (not that being a carnival was your definition or relaxation, but alas, Satoru was dragging you around everywhere like always) wouldn’t be good for the baby.

“You see that bear over there? I’m going to win that for you. It could be my first ever present for our baby.”

There was no stopping him. You didn’t want to, either, because you just stood there, arms crossed against your chest as you let him do whatever he pleased. A literal man-child, a youthful soul stuck in an irritatingly attractive man’s body – these were the thoughts that ran through your head while Satoru kept swinging his arm back and forth. He chose a stall where you had to knock down stacks of cans down with one set of three balls, all because he wanted to win a bear. You would really rather go home than watch him fail four times now, but he wasn’t giving up, only flexing his shoulders before gesturing to the young man.

“Hey man, three more balls please.”

Nothing was funny about it at all. Watching your boss fail miserably even after ten tries shouldn’t have been so hilarious, yet sweat was dripping all over his face and his patience was hanging on a loose thread that you were giggling before you knew it.

His usual confident bravado began to tear down bit by bit, his face flushed from the sounds of your teasing.

“Satoru, stop,” you laughed, “We’ve been here for twenty minutes and your wallet might as well be empty! You can just go buy a bear at the mall.”

“You’re too functional. Where would be the meaning behind it if I just bought a random bear?” he huffed, pushing the sleeves of his denim jacket up to his elbows. Determined now more than ever, he even stretched his long arms side to the side with a shake of his hips. You could tell the young man manning the stall was hiding his amusement by whistling to himself, but Satoru really was such a ridiculous sight you couldn’t blame him. “No, I’m going to get that for you, then I’ll brag to my baby how cool their dad was when he knocked those cans down.”

“You mean, if you knock those cans down.”

His shoulders deflated. “Support me a little bit, will you?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, it might just inflate your ego and you’ll be too distracted by yourself to ever actually knock those cans down,” He threw a ball with a force so strong it hit the curtain above the cans, and it bounced back somewhere below the tables. It didn’t even touch the can by a smidge, and you snorted. “See what I mean?”

Expecting that Satoru would take insult to heart (as his ego was easily wounded, this much you knew when he refused to talk to anyone at the office for a whole day because one of his directors forgot his name) you smirked at him, but that smirk immediately dropped when he grinned back at you. He was no longer wimpy like before, an aura of confidence brimming from him. “That’s like the second time you’ve told me I was distracting,” he mused, leaving you baffled because he was right. “On the contrary, I think you’rea lot more distracting, so I take that back. Just stand there and watch me win.”

“Okay,” you drawled out in faux disinterest, thankful for the corny carnival music and chatter from the crowd that he couldn’t hear your poor beating heart.

You were too focused on pretending to be unbothered by him that you failed to see how the cans were knocked down. The counter guy was already picking them up as Satoru pumped his fists in the air, way too much like a child high on sugar.

Was this really the father of your baby?

“I won! I fucking won! That huge brown bear, please!”Satoru’s smile from holding the bear that was half his size couldn’t even compare to the city lights and sparklers. Even his eyes were lit up in joy as he skipped back to you, happily waving the doe-eyed bear in front of you. At your lack of reaction, he sighed before jutting his cheek out to you. “No congratulations kiss?”

“How about a slap?”

“Kinky,” he teased, sending your brain to overheat when he tapped his chin in thought. “Well, you did make my back bleed so I kind of got the idea you’re sort of extreme in bed – ow! Would you please stop hitting me? I just won you a wonderful prize and your first reaction is to hit me! This arm is exhausted from swinging endlessly, you know.”

“Maybe if you aimed better, you wouldn’t have had to exhaust yourself. Like I said, you could’ve just bought a bear,” you scolded, raising your arm threateningly when he opened his mouth again. Idiot. “Give me that.”

Satoru effortlessly swung the bear until it was under your chins, his white lashes ethereal as he peeked at you through them. He was close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath dusting on your cheeks, that same warmth that had been mixing with yours in a sloppy, heated kiss just weeks ago. “And who said I was letting you carry this?” he taunted, thoroughly enjoying how for once, you weren’t hitting him.“I’m supposed to wave this around proudly then place it in our baby’s room when we get home. Besides, your hand looks heavy already.”

“My hands? Wait, what do you mean our baby’s room?”

At your words and questioning gaze, Satoru did a quick turn, trying to use the bear as a shield.

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “I may or may not have had my parents’ guest room renovated as a baby room, although if you ask me, I think moving somewhere else would be much better. Raising a child in a penthouse doesn’t seem like such a great idea if you ask me,” opening your mouth to scold him, Satoru stopped you by placing a finger on your lips, noses grazing against each other. “Don’t scold me right now; I know that look on your face and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, okay? We can still decorate it ourselves. I just had the beds removed and the space cleaned out. Now stop over thinking and let me help you with your problem.”

You pushed his face away for the sake of your heart. In fact, you should be paid for your acting skills for looking so unaffected.

“What problem?”

“Your hands look heavy,” he beamed, long fingers looping through yours as he swayed them side to side. “So let me carry it for you.”

“Satoru, I—”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he blinked innocently while surrendering his free hand, “I’m not doing this for you, it’s for the baby. Did you know oxytocin is released and makes you feel good and reduces pain, maybe even stress? We can pump your oxytocin levels through touch. It also lowers your blood pressure, and we want you at your happiest and healthiest for this pregnancy, right?”

“Since when were you an expert on this?”

“Since I found out I’m becoming a dad,” his words struck you speechless, mouth pressed into a flat line as you stared him openly. You hadn’t mean to come off as rude in that moment; you were just trying to gauge the sincerity behind his words, to explore the depth in his eyes, but Satoru must’ve took it wrong as he cleared his throat, “I can let go if you really want me to.”

“N-no! It’s fine…can we move? We’ve been standing here for ten minutes now,” Embarrassed, you pointed to the closest thing in your sight – a photo booth. “How about there? That looks fun.”

Satoru followed where your arm was pointed, laughing when a couple exited the red curtains while giggling amongst themselves. The guy even leaned down to steal a long kiss from his lover, and if you were embarrassed before, you wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back again right now. “You know, if you wanted me to be stuck in a cramped space next to you, you could’ve just said so. I didn’t bring the limo with me, but the Audi could be pretty small for us, I guess…”

You hissed at him in warning, “God, you never shut up do you?”

“It made you smile.”

“I wasn’t smiling!”

“Sure, mommy, whatever you say,” bumping his hip with yours, Satoru led you inside the cube. There were a plethora of filters to choose from; ranging from heart frames and ones that placed shades on your face. Not really thinking of what to pick, you reached out to press the frog hats one, but Satoru was swatting your hands away for the effect with heart emojis everywhere. “This is cute. We can show this to our baby once they’re born.”

“They won’t really know what a Polaroid is, Satoru.”

“It’s still sentimental!” he grumbled before clicking the camera icon, a huge smile already on his face until he saw you squished on the other side of the booth. Only one side of your ear could be seen, and Satoru furrowed his brows at you. “Come closer, you’ll be cropped from the frame.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Jesus, Y/N, don’t act shy now, I already fucked a baby into you,” mouth falling open at the vulgarity of his words, Satoru took the chance to drag you beside him. “Relax, you’re always so stiff. Our baby might come out frowning if you keep huffing like that.”

“You’re too close for comfort.”

“My apologies, I’ll try not to be included in the photo when you’re the one who suggested this in the first place,” he muttered playfully, booping your nose before he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. He was close, too close, that his musky perfume filled the close space. You wanted to lean closer to his warmth and sturdiness of his broad shoulders; his mere presence bringing about a sense of tranquillity despite your words. You told yourself it shouldn’t be too bad to lean into him for just a little while, absentmindedly following him as he cheers, “Smile!”

One photo turned into two, and Satoru ended up inserting a few more bills into the slot to take more. He tried out as many filters as he wanted, acting as if you two had been long time friends from how easy it was for him to be around you like that.

You supposed it came from his heavy experience with women. You were so unlike; while he was open to touch and didn’t care too much about space, you craved it deliriously.

It was obvious none of this meant anything to Satoru. You were probably just another woman in his life, with the exception that you had a kid, but you couldn’t mean something more. If anything, he treated you more like an old friend than a lover. He’d said it himself before that you weren’t his type and you didn’t mind, so why did it hurt the longer you mulled about it? Sure, you may not be as attractive or luxurious as his previous lovers, but did you really not even have charismatic pull? Is it because you weren’t his type that he was so casual with you, while you on the other hand, felt like you would lose your mind at every little thing he did?

You watched as Satoru pulled out his wallet and kept the Polaroid of you both grinning at the camera, forming a silly heart shape with your hands per his request. It was silly and platonic – yet the gesture confused you to no end.

“Why’d you do that?”

Satoru’s hand paused. “Am I not allowed to…?”

“We’re not lovers. You can’t just put a photo of us in your wallet.”

As if to prove a point, Satoru pulled out more photos of his wallet and showed it to you. There were several more wallet-sized photos, mostly of his white cat with black shades, another of him and his best friend, Shoko, and the last photo was of him skiing. They were all placed in his wallet along with a small, faded out photograph of what seemed to be his parents from the younger days. You couldn’t understand why he was showing you this, much less how patient he was as he smiled softly at you. “It’s memorabilia. I keep photos of everyone I care about everywhere with me,” he said, pocketing his wallet back before gazing up at the night sky. “I like to think we’re friends, at least. We’re definitely not just boss and employee anymore.”

Then what are we?

There were so many things you wanted to ask. You always knew he was always this overly friendly and nice, but what did make you? What did a friend mean to him? Other than Shoko, who was his lesbian friend who was also the company’s resident doctor, you’d never seen him be platonic with another female before.

The realization made your mood drop.

Maybe you were right. He probably didn’t even see you as a woman, but what did it matter? You didn’t like him. You shouldn’tlike him. Even if he had no intentions of wooing you, Gojo Satoru was far too appealing for his own good. Being around him was dangerous for your heart.

“Wanna ride the ferris wheel? The night city always looks beautiful.”

He was just your boss...and you were just a friend. Things were going to be alright as long as no feelings were involved. You survived seven years of working with him with not a single moment where your heart fluttered when he spoke your name; a baby made between you shouldn’t change anything now. At the end of the day, you were both only doing this out of responsibility. Satoru was trying his best to become a supportive co-parent to you, and that was all it ever would be. Strictly business – purely professional – as it always had been and always will be.

Foolish girl, you could hear a voice whisper at the back of your head, don’t get too lost in his eyes.

“Y/N, are you tired? Do you want to go home now? We can just order dinner to be delivered if you’re exhausted,” Satoru tugged at your sleeve to get your attention, and you chuckled awkwardly, not meaning to have spaced out the whole time. Worry was written all over his face from the way his brows dipped, stunning blue eyes darkening like the night sky you both made memories under.

Don’t look at me like that...

“Are you okay? Do you wanna go home?”

“Yeah,” you chirped far too brightly than you would’ve liked. Right now, it was more of a mission of fake it til you make it. You would just have to keep exerting the same amount of effort into making this work for the baby’s sake. And if that meant pushing aside any budding desire for this to last any longer to focus on your ‘friendship’, then you would do it. Taking Satoru’s hand for the first time since the baby ordeal, you flashed him a genuine smile. “The ferris wheel sounds nice. Let’s do some sightseeing before the night ends.”

Neither of you speak inside the cab. Beautiful the night was as the city shone into awakening illumination beneath you, comforting you with the thought that in the grand scheme of it all, you were small. Insignificant. That somehow everything you worried about wouldn’t matter when there was a much bigger world out there, and you were but a fickle dot in the middle of its entirety. But that was you, and Gojo lived in a much different world than you did. For somewhere in the city, you could recognize several of the sky towers, buildings, and establishments owned by his family. He mattered in the grand scheme; you were a small factor in his world.

Glancing back at the man who’d been silent the whole ride, you smiled upon seeing that he was doing the same. Satoru was practically bouncing in his seat as he snapped several photos of the city, mumbling something about he’d never seen this view before.

He was so innocent yet so out there, igniting within you an urge to take care of him and wanting to be taken care of by him.

You’d already accepted that you may just never have him that way. That small, fleeting crush was like a butterfly – pretty look at, but damn near impossible to catch. You’d already stopped crying yourself to sleep over the new changes brought about in your body, that in a few months’ time, you’d look back into everything and see that everything had changed. The mistakes you made that night were still something you regretted because you wished you could’ve done better, but seeing him right in front of you now, there was only gratefulness blooming within. Grateful that he was right by your side, grateful that at least the father of your child was more than capable of giving them a comfortable life, grateful that he didn’t push you away like you expected.

Acting more on impulse than logic, you leaned over to press your lips on his cheek.“Thank you,” you mumbled, eyes closed as you let your lips stay there for a few more seconds.

His skin was warm underneath your touch, and when you opened your eyes, Satoru was gazing up at you with stars twinkling in the vast galaxy he called his eyes. You smiled at his reaction, watching as he reached a palm out to caress that spot your lips had landed.“For what?”

“For everything,” you crumbled,“You’re not a bad person, Satoru, I know that,” with shuddered breaths, tears sprung at the back of your eyes again. “I’m sorry for being so difficult. I just need time to adjust to…well, all of this.” Your voice cracked at the last sentence and you were crying before you knew it, face hidden behind your palms in fear he’d look at you differently. In his eyes, you were always his stoic secretary who didn’t even bat an eye when people gave you backlash after Satoru hired you despite the lack of a college degree.

This all felt new – to cry, to trust, to rely on someone – and there was a flurry of emotions you couldn’t quite place yet.

Scooping you into his arms, Satoru patted your back as your cries grew louder. “Take all the time you need. We don’t have to rush into anything at all.”

In the harsh world of conglomerates where the laws of business blurred thinner and thinner with each day, it was hard to believe that not rushing into anything would be possible. It was always a flurry of hurried phone calls, frantic preparations for emergency meetings, anxiety over presenting new proposals and hoping that your superiors would sign your documents so you could go about your way. Time was as imperative as money was to them, but Satoru had proved he could be beyond that.

From the moment you met him, he never treated time as if it was something that slipped through his fingertips. He enjoyed every second he had of his life, and perhaps that was why you hated him so much in the first place.

You thought he took everything for granted, when in reality, all he did was bask in the little things life offered.

This much, at least, you trusted him with. If he said there would be no need to rush and you could both take it slow, he meant it. Around him, time felt more like a secret whisper than a treasure you both had to seize to protect. The night drifted off until it was already midnight and the crew was ushering all visitors out. You and Satoru made it home safely and quietly, hands linked together as if it was the most natural thing ever. No rush, you kept telling yourself, and you plopped down on the couch heavily as you let your muscles relax from such a long, eventful day.

You stayed there for a solid minute or so when you felt warm hands take your heels off. Opening your eyes, Satoru kneeled before you, his fingers expertly rubbing and pushing against the sore muscles of your feet. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Your feet must be tired from all that walking,” he mumbled, looking up briefly to meet your eyes and tease your shoulder back. “Lean back for me. I’ll take care of you.”

Judging by the sentiment behind his smile, you figured it wouldn’t be harmful to enjoy this at least once. You’ve never gotten foot massages before but his hands kneading yours felt heavenly. You knew from experience beforehand that Satoru was quite godly when it came to the skills and magic his fingers brought, though this one was on a different level, and you were sinking deeper into the couch from the bliss. He was right; you were tired, and if having your boss massage you like this every night after dragging you wherever he pleased, then you wouldn’t complain.

The ringing of your phone made you sit up abruptly, surprising Satoru whose head you almost knocked into. “Sorry,” you croaked out sheepishly, “It’s my dad. I need to take this.”

“Do you need me to leave you alone?”

“Uh, no, you’re fine.”

Satoru gestured to your foot as you took the call, mouthing, “Should I continue?”

“Yes, please,” you answered back, palm pressed over the mic before you answered. “Hey, Dad!” Your father greeted you back with much enthusiasm, his energy heard even by Satoru who sent you small smiles and curious glances every now and then. A part of you wanted to ask if he was fine kneeling on the floor like that, but his knees were on the fur carpet anyway that it shouldn’t hurt him. He extended your leg and trailed up your calves, pulling a soft moan from you when he kneaded the flesh and rid it of its knots. His ministrations distracted you until you were nodding absentmindedly to your Dad every now and then, not really paying attention to what he was saying.

Then the call ended, and his last words kept ringing back into your head ominously. Satoru took quick notice of this as he tapped your knee, bringing your attention back to him. “Is something wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I...” you started, helplessly fumbling around Satoru. “My dad is in Tokyo. He said he wants to have dinner with me.”

“You don’t look particularly happy about that. Do you not want to meet your father?”

“I do but...”

“But?”

“I have to tell him about this,” you shivered, refracting your legs back to the couch until his touch disappeared from your skin. For a moment, you had the urge to crawl back to his heat, but you were restless, agitated. “About us. He’s going to want to meet you and I don’t want to hide the pregnancy from him either,” Satoru remained unmoving as you rambled, and you hid your face behind your arms again as you remembered the rules you asked him to follow. “Listen, I’m sorry if I sound unfair right now, I know I said I didn’t want anyone else knowing—”

Warm lips brushed over your knuckles, large hands peeling your wrists to reveal your face. “Hey, it’s fine. He’s family and you can tell him. It’s not like your Dad would ruin your image or something like you expected to happen.”

“He won’t but...” you frowned, “My dad isn’t going to like this. I can’t guarantee he’ll be civil the whole time, especially towards you.”

“You told him about me?”

“A few years ago, yeah, when I still couldn’t tolerate you.”

“So you can tolerate me now?”

“Only a little bit,” you corrected, pushing his hands away as you opened your phone to check your schedule. It was mostly Satoru’s schedule, truth be told, but you were free for the most part tomorrow. Satoru could just longue back in his office while you clocked out early to meet your dad. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. On second thought, he doesn’t have to know at all. I’m only a few weeks in and it’s not like he’ll notice—”

“Y/N,” Satoru interrupted you, rudely snatching his phone from your shaking fingers. You would’ve scolded him had he not sounded so worried. “I did promise I would take responsibility for you, right? I want to meet your dad and introduce myself properly. As a father-to-be, I think I can somewhat understand that he might react strongly to this, but I also need to reassure him you’re in safe hands,” taking your hand in his, Satoru leaned into your palm, the smile he wore way too charming than what your heart could handle. “As long as you’re okay with it, I would like to meet him.”

“I’m sorry if he does something stupid.”

“Don’t be,” he reassured with a chuckle. “I’m sure everything will go well.”

It didn’t go well. Your father wasn’t throwing a fit or causing a scene like you originally feared, but the current situation wasn’t any better either. He looked like he was on the verge of tearing Satoru’s head apart, his grip on the bread knife so tight his knuckles flashed white. Your father was the literal definition of unpredictable and out of nervousness, you held Satoru’s hand under the table for comfort.

In complete opposition of yours, Satoru handled it with class and composure. His head was ducked down in respect, making sure to be curt and precise in counters to your father’s harsh accusations.

“I’m really sorry for everything, Sir.”

“Did you ruin my daughter’s life?”

Satoru finally tilted his head back up to look your father in the eye, both your hands turning cold and sweaty in between the seats. “Pardon?”

“I asked if you ruined my daughter’s life by getting her pregnant.”

“I would never intend for that to happen, Sir,” Satoru straightened up. From your perspective, he looked every bit the man parents would want their children to be with – handsome, elegant, educated, polite, respectful and well-off – but your father was no ordinary parent. He sized Satoru up like a predator hunting his prey even as the latter acted cool about it. “Granted, it was an accident and neither of us are prepared for this, but I promise I’ll take care of her. I take responsibility as the father and you have nothing to worry about.”

Your dad slammed his palms down on the table, the loud smack catching the attention of nearby tables. “How dare you tell me I have nothing to worry about?”

“Dad, please don’t do this.”

“No, he needs to know,” he snapped. Unable to help it, you groaned inwardly and scooted closer to Satoru, knowing where this was leading. “I lost her mother right after she was born; raised her by myself when I was barely out from high school. Rich men like you may never understand the struggles of taking care of a baby all by yourself, but I did everything I could to make sure she grew up well. My daughter had a happy, comfortable life. When she told me she wanted to follow her dreams in Tokyo, I supported her, and then you go take everything away from her because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself? You dare defile her like that?”

“Dad!” you roared, clutching Satoru’s hand who’d gone limp. “It was equally my responsibility as it is his! I wanted this; we both got carried away but we’re doing our best, so please stop being difficult to us.”

“You wanted this?” he laughed dryly, “A child with this man you kept moaning to me about; the same man who went to clubs every night while he left you all by yourself to work, to clean up his mess from him? You wanted him?”

“Dad,” you gritted your teeth, nails sinking down onto your thigh. Satoru remained silent between you both, although you could feel his burning gaze penetrating through the back of your skull. “It’s both our mistake. But this child...we don’t see it as that. We like to view it as a blessing. It may be true we harbour no affection for one another, but we want to be good parents. That’s all you need to know and I find no reason to explain myself to you. If you have nothing else to say, you can go back home. I’ll pay for your ride,” slamming down a few bills his way, you glared at your father, who shrunk back at the anger radiating off of you. “You’re not welcome here, Dad. Just go back home.”

“I’m just worried for you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“I never said you were,” he sighed, rubbing the sides of his temples. “But he just took all your opportunities away from you! What about your dreams? What about your plan of having your own career once you have enough experience? What about—”

“Are you implying that because I’m pregnant, suddenly I’m not qualified to fulfil my goals?”

“Sir,” Satoru cut you off, releasing your hands as he leaned forwards on the table, becoming more and more like the CEO he was trained to be – all authority and gentle command that won the hearts of multiple investors. “I assure you that I won’t be holding your daughter back from the things she wants to achieve. As her co-parent, I’m perfectly capable of supporting her in the dreams she wishes to achieve. I’ve worked with her for years; I know she can reach for the stars if she wanted.”

Your mind blanked.

“Young man, don’t talk to me as if you know my daughter better than I do,” your father scorned, “I’m not questioning your capability to support her, but what about your credibility? How can you assure me you’ll really be there for her? How can you assure me you won’t leave my daughter stranded in the middle of nowhere? How can you assure me you can protect her from the harsh criticism of society? Money can’t provide nor does it solve anything,” your father copied his gesture by leaning forward, but it was to poke Satoru’s chest. “From what I’ve heard about you, I suppose you understand perfectly well why I don’t trust you.”

“Sir, I do plan on marrying your daughter and to give her the life she deserves,” Satoru confessed, effectively stealing from you the ability to speak as he glimpsed your way. “If she lets me.”

“You’ll marry her? Be faithful to her as your wife and have a family? Are you sure you can do that?”

“Yes, Sir, I’m highly confident I can. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Then that’s all I need to know,” your father leaned back in your seat, arms crossed against his chest and a stern expression on his face. “And if I find out you hurt or make my daughter cry in any way, I’ll beat up that pretty face of yours. I have two more sons that’re willing to do the same, if you don’t watch your actions.”

Satoru beamed at your father’s ‘approval.’ “I’ll face any consequence if I fall short on my duties, Sir, but I assure you, it will never have come to that.”

“So we’ve come to an agreement?”

The two men linked and shook hands across the table, completely disregarding the fact you were right beside him. You were beyond appalled, but mostly hurt that you’d been reduced to this way. And they were unaware of it, too, sickening and satisfied yet tense smiles were masked on their faces as they decided your future.

You stood up and left the restaurant.

You kept walking as fast as you could in the cold night, hands shoved into the coat of your pockets. Thousands of pin needles pricked at your heart and your skin the more you replayed the memory in your head. How stupid were you to think that Satoru would be different? And marriage? Was he serious? It all made you sick to the core to the point you wanted to throw up and disappear, until a heavy set of footsteps echoed behind you and tugged your wrist.

“Y/N, wait!” Satoru panted, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. “What’s wrong with you? You just up and left—”

“Seriously, Satoru, you’re asking me that?” your face fell flat at his cluelessness, “What’s wrong with you? You men are sickening; planning my entire future like that right in front of me as if I don’t have a say in what I want. None of you asked if I’m okay with this. You really went ahead deciding we’ll get married when I told you already, I don’t want to marry you and I never will!”

Satoru brushed a hand over his hair, a hand on his hip. You could tell his patience was being tested – after being verbally harassed by your father and now with you pushing back in the same heat, it was only a matter of time before he lost his cool. Surprisingly enough, however, his voice remained levelled as he sighed. “What did you expect me to do back there? Tell your father that we’re just going to be roommates and raise a child together as if we’re not already family?” he defended, words slow and pronounced with a hint of hurt behind them. “I respect you and I truly do want to be with you, that’s why I wanted us to get married.”

“You respect me?” you laughed incredulously, “Are you hearing yourself right now? No person respects another by deciding what happens to my life without my consent!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask, okay? I apologize for it and I acknowledge my mistake that I didn’t give you much of a choice. Me being cornered and pressured isn’t a good excuse, but I wasn’t lying when I said I want to take care of you and—”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why do you want to be with me?” you demanded, “Why do you want to take care of me so badly? How did you even take this so well? You weren’t even that angry when I told you I was pregnant.”

Satoru paled. “Was I supposed to be? Should I have pushed you away and kicked you out my life? Is that what you wanted me to do, or is that what you expected from me, considering you’ve made it extremely clear I’m nothing but your airheaded boss and a man who always wants his dick wet, right?” the sting of his words pricked you both – you with your guilt, and him with his pride crushed. But he didn’t let on, didn’t waver and didn’t match your anger as his chest shook with impatience. “I’m trying to be good to you; I want to be good for you and the baby because despite what you think of me, I’m not the devil the tabloids make me out to be. I sleep around, yeah, but I wouldn’t go so far to turn someone away especially when I know I’m supposed to be there.”

“Satoru, if you’re only doing this out of obligation, you can be a good father without marrying me. Marriage is not a requirement; I don’t care what people say that I got pregnant without getting married. That’s the least of my concern, I just want the baby to grow up healthy but I don’t want to be involved with you.”

With how stunned Satoru looked, one would’ve thought you slapped him right in the face. That mere sight of seeing your boss tear his walls down in front of you almost made you feel bad, but you had to be strong.

You had to be firm with what you stood for.

“I really don’t want to be with you, Satoru. I’m so sorry.”

“What do you want me to do?” his voice cracked, begging and pleading as he stood before you, looking every bit of a man lost in uncharted territory. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Y/N. One moment, you’re telling me you want me to be a good father, and then the next you’re pushing me away. People are so sure that I’m a man who can never settle down because they believe I have commitment issues, but I’m telling you I can commit to you right now,” he held your hand, rubbing some of his warmth at your comparably cold ones. You didn’t fail to notice that he was trembling, but what about what you couldn’t decipher. “Are you really sure I’m the one here who isn’t capable of that? What are you so scared of that you can’t trust me?”

“Because you’re you! Because you’re a fucking asshole who’s been treating me like I’m an overworking machine and always expects me to undo your shit for you! Because you make me sick and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know what love means!” Exploded. You exploded. “I regret everything that happened between us that night. No, in fact, I regret ever meeting you at all.”

Satoru took a step back.

All the light and joy that fit so perfectly with him had now disappeared.

“I’m sorry,” he demurred, “I’m sorry that I’d been so repulsive that you’ve felt miserable for all this time. I’m sorry I haven’t been a decent boss and I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.”

“Gojo, stop. Stop doing that; stop apologizing!”

“Then tell me what you want me to do,” he barked desperately. “Because I can’t read your mind and I just want to be good for you.”

“What if I don’t want you to? I don’t want you to be good to me, I don’t want you to care about me. Be there for the baby, but don’t involve yourself too much in my personal life. Stop asking me to marry you because you and I would never work out. We’re impossible, okay?”

“How do you know we’ll never work out when we haven’t even tried?” he pushed, “You never even gave me a chance.”

“You’re not worth that chance.”

If someone could receive an award for effortlessly trampling over someone repeatedly, you would’ve been crowned winner a long time ago. You had no idea what came over you as you spat all those hurtful words to Satoru, but did your words bear no truth? The fact that he no longer defended himself meant he also knew that he wasn’t worth it – that he wasn’t someone to be trusted. It wasn’t that you were completely unfair too; of course you considered it. Weeks of living under the same roof as him and you most definitely considered it. Say you did get married and became a real family – what then? It wasn’t a marriage out of love, but rather out of responsibility and obligation.

As much as you loved your child, you couldn’t imagine throwing away your future and living miserable for the rest of your life like that.

A life built on lies wasn’t a life worth living.

“I would never hurt you.”

Your heart cracked. After everything you said, after all your efforts to keep him away from your own safety, after all the hurtful things you’ve done to him, and he was still apologizing? Why did he have to make it so hard to let go? You were tired, so tired that you could no longer refrain your lip from quivering as tears caked your face.

“Gojo, please, don’t—”

“So if me stepping away from your life is what would really make you happy, then I’ll respect it. But there’s one thing I have to ask,” Satoru swiped a thumb under your eye to catch the tear. His smile was forlorn, his touch cold and words melancholic. “Do you want the baby? Do you...want to keep the baby and be a mother? You don’t have to do anything for me, I just want to know if the mother of my child even wants to be one. And please be honest, because everything you say right now are words that I’ll mark seriously.”

The word left your mouth before you could stop it.

“No.”

“No what?”

“I don’t want to be a mother,” you admitted, hands trailing over your belly. It felt like you were betraying your own child, but you hadn’t planned this. “I’m too young, Satoru, I-I’m not ready for this. With you there beside me or not, I really don’t want this.”

“Then,” he cleared his throat, turning his head to the side to catch a moment. You swore you saw his eyes shine under the city lights with tears, but it was gone so soon that you might’ve just fooled yourself with it. Once he deemed himself ready to talk, Satoru took a deep breath. “Do I have your consent that once the baby is born...it’ll be under my care? Would you prefer to reach your own dreams, then? You’ll never have to be a part of the Gojo family if it’s really not what you want, even though I could support you as much as you need me to.”

Your eyes widened at his proposition. “You’ll take care of our baby?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Can I...can I visit them, at least, once in a while?” It was more than just your heart that broke that night. There was no telling whether you’d hurt yourself in the long run with this decision. It was no easy choice to make – to actively pursue your dreams somewhere else more than being a mother. You wanted to do your best, of course you did, but it wasn’t that easy. Gojo didn’t have to tell you for you to understand that once you married him, you’d be expected to run the business with him and be involved in his family and their dramas. Now that wasn’t a life you wanted.

“You’re free to visit them whenever,” he promised, voice fading even lower into the background. “So is this it? We’ll just be living under the same roof until the baby is born and once they’re here...”

“We’ll part ways.”

“We’ll part ways,” he nodded in agreement, sniffling for a brief second before fixing his tie. The Gojo Satoru you got to know for a few weeks had now disappeared. Not even the goofy boss you spent seven years with could be found in the coldness of his eyes, almost as if he’d put up such impenetrable walls around him and nothing could pass through. The sudden shift in aura made your heart clench as he offered his hand to shake. “Okay. Let’s stay professional until then?”

“Yeah, Sir, I can do that,” your hands shook as you enclosed it around his, but now all the warmth had disappeared – from his eyes, his touch, his soul. It hurt, but this was necessary. It was what felt right. “Thank you – for everything.”

“You’re welcome. Anything for you and the baby,” Satoru proclaimed, perplexing you both when he suddenly pulled you in his arms. Just like that, the dam broke, and you were staining his precious suit before you could stop it. His arms rubbed up and down your back the longer he held you there, almost like a final moment to lean on one another before you had to say goodbye eventually. Beneath your palm, his heart beat exuberantly loud, so much so that you might’ve heard the prayers it whispered. “Stop crying now. The baby might feel sad too. We’ll both be alright – we just have to get through this.”

taglist OPEN: @sixeyesgojo @bongofrito @7tsumurai @aphnyoturkey @stuckindreamland06 @dogsarenyspiritanimal @thebeardedmoon @lildreamer93 @pizzaspirits @q-the-rockaholic @rogueofbullshit @ladywaifuuwrites @flochsgirl @hamsa-mage @sonic-and-songs @vsvwi @misslovingpearl | bolded users can’t be tagged

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retvenkos · 4 years ago

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hope in the jar | k.b.

Six of Crows - Kaz Brekker x Reader, slight fluff, slight angst requested

tw: gunshot wound, medical stitches, mention of gun violence, mentions of blood, slightly ooc kaz because have you tried to write him softly?

word count: 1.4k

prompt: “I don’t trust anyone… but you’re not just anyone.”

A/N: 1) this doesn’t seem to take place at any given point in canon but i want wylan and matthias to be there, sue me, and 2) do i know that there is no greek mythology is the grishaverse? yes. does that stop me from mentioning pandora’s box? no.

summary: Kaz Brekker is far from just being anyone. And maybe, so are you.

"You're quiet." Wylan bumped your shoulder, pulling you out of your thoughts.

There was a particular kind of calm that descended after a shootout. When pistols stopped smoking and adrenaline had left the bloodstream, the cool weight of evening fell back on your shoulders and managed to settle differently. For Jesper, it meant more jokes than usual. For Inej, more prayer. For Nina, it meant more grumbling, and for Matthias, more smiles. You weren't always sure what it meant for you, but tonight, it meant pensivity.

The walk back to the Slat was victorious. The streets of Ketterdam were empty and unusually quiet, thanks to Wylan's affinity toward bombs and blowing half of the cobblestones right off the street. The tranquility wasn't typical, but somehow, it was comforting. Perhaps even invigorating. How often did Ketterdam fall silent? Especially for canal rats like you?

Maybe if you still had a slow trickle of adrenaline, you would have commemorated the moment - maybe by getting waffles? But it was late, and after taking a bullet to the side after getting a little too close to the enemy, the only thing you wanted was to wash all of the grime off of your face and fall asleep. Maybe you'd celebrate after a good night's rest - Saints providing that such a thing existed in the Barrel.

"Am I quiet? Or are you slowly going deaf from all of your 'science experiments?'"

Wylan flushed a little. Even after all this time, he was so easy to tease. What made it even funnier was that he always managed some witty comeback or another, all while his cheeks were a shocking 'embarrassment pink.' Wylan opened his mouth to speak—

"Definitely quiet!" Jesper called from in front of you, one of his arms slung around Inej's shoulder, the other twirling a pistol.

Wylan let out a scoff of admiration, and you mumbled under your breath - something about Jesper being an irritating, smart mouthed idiot.

"What was that, (Y/n)?"

"You're annoying, Jesper!"

"Well, I'm glad something can make you lively again." Jesper turned his head to toss you a wink, and you rolled your eyes.

Wylan bumped your shoulders together, again, careful not to jostle you too much. "You're not quiet now. Just seething."

"Just tired," you corrected, passing the redhead a lazy smile.

"Admitting that is admitting weakness."

Kaz walked behind you and the rest of the group, but his voice was loud enough for everyone to hear. You turned around and walked backward so you could face him.

To anyone else walking the street, the Bastard of the Barrel was just more brooding than usual - his tone curter, his eyes sharper, the lines on his face deeper than they had the right to be. To you, though, Kaz was tired. His leg was stiff from the fight, giving him more trouble than usual, and his jaw was set in a rigid line as to not give away his weakness.

The Slat wasn't too far, now, but even after getting inside, there would be stairs to climb, and a hell of a lot of them were so worn down, they might buckle at any given weight.

It would be a rough night; it already had been.

You just sighed. "Admitting that is trust."

Kaz held your gaze. For a long moment, you couldn't figure what he was thinking. Kaz Brekker was always considering something, and after a while, you had gotten good at knowing just what he was thinking, when.

But not this time. Kaz was a sphinx to you during that baited moment - inexplicable, an enigma. What made it worse was that it was deliberate.

Kaz raised his eyebrows and looked down at his cane, hitting the ground with more force than before.

"We're all tired."

The night was filled with the quiet once more, but with every step you took toward the Slat, the low din of unruly jeers and shouts filled your brain like cotton on a wound.

✧ *:･ﾟ

You sat on the floor of your room, a bowl of water before you, a haphazard pile of medical supplies to your left. Nina had told you that she wasn't a Healer when she began to seal your wound earlier, and you had said you didn't want to waste time while still exposed on the streets - by all accounts, Nina did a decent job with the three or so minutes you allowed her. But Saints, someone should have told you to stuff your pride and let Nina work on you just a bit longer. Maybe then you wouldn't be sitting on the floor of your room, stitching up a wound with supplies you nicked from Muzzen.

You had just finished your stitches (you still needed to thank Inej for teaching you how) when you heard Kaz walking up the steps.

You wrapped up your wound as best you could. You were pushing down your shirt when you heard him speak.

"I wouldn't trust just anyone in the Dregs."

You washed your hands clean as best you could and sent Kaz a wayward glance, noting how he stood in your doorway - as though he wasn't quite sure if he belonged.

"I've been in Ketterdam too long—" You grabbed a towel and wiped your face, trying to rid yourself of the dirt and grime. You turned back to Kaz "—I don't trust anyone."

He nodded as though agreeing with your judgment. But it was too quick - too relenting. He turned to go.

"But you're not just anyone, Kaz."

The Bastard of the Barrel froze. It seemed to you that his grip on his cane tightened. Perhaps it was a side effect from the blood loss or maybe even a fast-acting infection from that suture needle, but it felt like something sucked all the air out of the room.

You turned to face him properly.

"C'mon, we've both known it for longer than we care to admit. I'm doing us a mercy - putting it to rest."

Silence, still. If the Slat were up in flames, you doubted you would have noticed. There was nothing else here - it was just you, Kaz, and the space that lay between.

You eased your legs out in front of you, putting your arms out behind you and leaning on your palms. The floor was cool - like the night had been, earlier, when you were talking away from a gunfight. The world was somehow smaller, then - like you had held it in your grasp.

Kaz was still half turned, but you could see his profile, and once again, his thoughts were under lock and key.

"You can either take it or leave it, Kaz. But whatever you decide to choose, know that you chose it."

He spoke sooner than you expected. "You're not just anyone, either."

Your mouth went dry. You weren't sure what you had been expecting or even hoping. Hope was still trapped inside Pandora's jar, and even the barest inkling of it could have destroyed your whole world. Hope belonged to the innocent and the pious, and you hadn't been either in a long time. You weren't sure what you had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't that.

And for some reason, you could fathom how Kaz Brekker could have ever said such a thing and meant it.

Maybe Kaz didn't think you heard him, because he affirmed it, turning to you. "You're not just anyone, (Y/n)."

"Not just another soldier in your ranks?"

"Not anymore."

You wanted to laugh, but it came out as more of a breath. You settled for a lopsided smile instead. "That's practically a proposal, coming from you."

"If I could offer you more, I would."

You looked at Kaz as he stood in the doorway. He was exhausted and beaten at his own game, but there was nothing but sincerity and truth swimming in his eyes, nothing but honestly dripping from every syllable. Had you ever seen Kaz the way he was, now? To take his own words, he was admitting a weakness. Earnestness was a defect in the Barrel. Vulnerability was a sin.

"It's not much," you conceded. You moved your outstretched leg so that you could tap his shoe - toe to toe. Kaz watched the slow movement carefully, but never pulled away. "But for now, it's good enough."

-- taglist: @musicallisto, @catsbooksandmusic // message me if you want to be added!

#six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #fluff #slight angst #one shot #imagine #hi yes why are you all so intent with making me fall in love with kaz brekker?

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thedummysdummy · 2 years ago

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A Weekend in the Cabin: Part 1

Victor placed the two suitcases in the trunk of the car and closed it carefully. “This is your last chance to realize if you’ve forgotten anything. We aren’t turning around after we’ve left.”

The girl shook her head from the front seat of the car. “I’ve triple checked and we have everything! Even the new slippers and matching fuzzy robes. I’m so ready for this quiet weekend after how hard we’ve both been working this month. We’ve hardly gotten any time to spend together. I’ve missed you.” She pouted and Victor sighed, though an indulgent smile played with the corners of his mouth as he walked back to the driver’s side. He slid into his seat and turned the key to power up the engine, then grabbed her hand as he backed out of the driveway and pulled onto the highway.

The usual soft classical music filled the air in the cabin while the pair sat in comfortable silence. Nothing really needed to be said; everything they wished to communicate could be passed through their loosely entwined fingers. The girl did eventually break the silence; “How far is the cabin, Victor?”

“A few hours. You have plenty of time for a nap,” he replied, the lilt in his voice showing his pleasure. His guess was correct; within minutes, the girl had shifted so her head rested comfortably on his shoulder and her eyes closed. She clutched his arm to her chest and he enjoyed the calming rhythm of her breathing against his side. The city gradually fell away and gave way to rural farms and finally a medium sized forest.

The girl stirred as they entered the shaded road that wove its way through the trees. Dappled light which made its way through the leaves played on the hood of the car and the faces of the occupants as they slowly drove the mountainous road. The girl rolled down her window and took deep breaths of the fresh mountain air laced with birdsong. “It’s so beautiful,” she chirped, giving Victor’s hand a squeeze. “We definitely need to spend more time in the mountains like this. The air is so different here!”

Victor nodded indulgently, returning the squeeze. “That is what happens when the smog of city living isn’t being pushed into the area,” he teased.

“I know,” the girl replied with indignation followed by a laugh. “But that doesn’t mean it isn’t wonderful! We are going to have so much fun, Victor. We can roast marshmallows and drink hot cocoa and explore the woods and lay out under the stars! Do you think we’ll see any animals? I would love to see a fox! Or even a bear, if we’re inside!”

“Perhaps. We’ll have to see what decides to wander too close to us when we get there. But I’m certain we’ll have plenty of fun.” The girl narrowed her eyes in suspicion at Victor’s tone, but he just chuckled and kept his eyes on the road. The wind from the window rippled his dark hair and she found herself again distracted by his strong jawline and handsome profile. It didn’t matter how many times she glanced over in the car and caught sight of him; every time, she was pulled back to that rainy night where the moonlight had emphasized yet softened that profile. Her heart warmed just by the thought of it.

Soon they came to a stop beneath a large pine tree. The gravel drive crunched beneath their tires and a soft breeze swished the branches above them. To their left was a small wooden cabin. It was fairly standard; stripped pine logs, green tin roof, little covered porch and white door flanked by large windows on either side. The girl spilled out of the car excitedly and began rushing from tree to tree, around the cabin, and back to Victor’s side like an excited puppy. “Are you satisfied with your exploration?” he teased as he put the access code into the keypad and turned the doorknob.

She nodded and brushed past him into the cabin to begin poking her head into every room. Victor chuckled and shook his head, heading back to the car to pick up their bags. The girl joined him moments later at the trunk to take one of the suitcases and happily made her way back inside with it. “It’s so cute!” she chattered. “There’s even a sauna and a huuuuuge bathtub. I bet we’ll both fit in it easily!” With a seductive wink she disappeared back into the cabin, leaving Victor blinking with surprise.

He found her in the kitchen when he entered with their remaining two bags, already snooping through cupboards and refrigerator. Her eyes lit up when she found everything fully stocked, no doubt at Victor’s request. Victor took the bags into the bedroom and when he returned, the girl had already pulled out supplies to make hot chocolate. “You couldn’t wait five minutes for a snack?” Victor teased, stalking up behind the girl and wrapping his arms around her waist. He buried his face in her neck and took a deep breath, allowing her scent to fill every cavity of his being.

She turned around and returned his embrace, laughing as she did so. “What? I told you before I fell asleep that I wanted to enjoy some cocoa with you! And besides, it’s nearly lunch time. It’s not like I just ate breakfast and now I’m clamoring for a snack.” She stuck out her lip indignantly and pleaded with her eyes.

Vicor sighed indulgently and patted her on the head. “I know, I know. I made sure that there would be something quick and easy to eat when we got here just because I knew you’d want lunch. There are ingredients for sandwiches in the refrigerator and chips in the cupboard. Or you can have sliced fruit instead if you’d prefer. Why don’t you go get that started and I’ll make the chocolate?”

The girl was fine with this, knowing that Victor would probably end up making the most delicious chocolate she had ever tasted. That was Victor, after all. A few moments of rummaging through the fridge yielded multiple deli meats and cheeses, sliced fruits, and condiments, while the cupboard gave up bread and small bags of chips. She placed them all on the counter and fetched two plates and a knife to begin making her masterpiece.

“Don’t forget the tomatoes and lettuce. You need vegetables in your life, not just meat and cheese.”

She grumbled and returned to the fridge, convinced he hadn’t even looked at what she’d gotten out already before (rightly) declaring she’d missed the roughage. But she did as she was told and returned to making her sandwich. By the time she was satisfied, the pot of milk was lightly frothing and the sweet scent of chocolate was beginning to fill the room. Victor finished with a pour of heavy cream and some chocolate shavings, ladled some into a cup, and placed the warm cup in his lover’s hand. She sniffed it appreciatively, the steam drifting pleasantly into her lungs.

Victor quickly assembled his own lunch and the pair made their way to the carved rocking chairs on the porch to eat. Little birds hopped around in the brush just on the other side of the driveway and the girl watched them with a smile on her face as she nibbled on her sandwich. Victor, on the other hand, had his eyes fully fixated on the most important person in his world. Just the slightest smile tugged the corners of his lips upward as he sipped at his steaming drink. His dark eyes seemed to glitter more than usual, though the girl was too distracted to notice.

After lunch, snow began gently drifting down to light upon the landscape. The girl watched through the window for a long time while Victor casually answered a few emails on his phone. “Come sit with me,” she eventually whined, patting the sofa beside her. “We’re on vacation. Put your phone away?”

“You were perfectly happy on your own, so why wouldn’t I get a little extra work done?” Victor replied, his tone frosty but his eyes mischievous. She pouted and Victor swept her up into his arms, setting her on his lap with his arms around her waist. “Better?”

“Mhmm,” the girl replied, resting her head on Victor’s collarbone and closing her eyes. “This cabin is really nice, but a little cold. Why don’t we go make use of that great big bathtub? It looks like it has jets in it and everything!” Her eyes opened and she looked up at him with her best possible impression of puppy eyes.

Victor stared back at her for a long moment with a steely face, but all it took was the girl running her hand down his cheek for him to end the game of hard to get and scoop her up in his arms again. She giggled and clung to Victor’s arm as he carried her toward the master bathroom and set her on the large bed. “I’ll go run the bath. You get ready.” His voice was husky and he hurried into the next room with what she had long since learned to interpret as Victor’s brand of excitement.

The sound of running water and the scent of sweet jasmine drifted into the bedroom where the girl had removed her clothing and left it in a pile next to the bed. She wandered into the bathroom and Victor turned, his ears burning just slightly as his eyes fell on her. “I can watch the bath. You go get ready now,” she said, wrapping her arms around Victor for a moment before stepping into the water. It was the perfect temperature and the oils he had chosen smelled heavenly. Her eyes closed and she let out a pleased sigh, immediately beginning to lose herself in her thoughts.

So when Victor slid into the water in front of her, the girl was startled for a moment. Her eyes popped open and got a full view of his bare chest. “Oh, hello there,” she murmured as her brain caught up. The steam between them rose from the water in lazy tendrils as the two stared into each other’s eyes. It subconsciously became a war of wills as to who would move first; yet they gave in at the same moment and collapsed into each other’s arms. Victor’s hot lips latched onto hers and he roughly pulled the breath from her lungs.

She bit at his lip when her chest threatened to burst, causing him to pull back just long enough for her to pull in a breath and him to let out a chuckle. Then they were back at it, breathing each other’s heat and holding each other close.

The water had begun to grow cold by the time the pair hauled themselves, panting, from the water and wrapped up in fluffy towels. Victor pulled the plug and quickly dried off, though he opted for the black robe hanging on the door rather than putting his clothing back on. The girl grabbed the matching white robe and tied it loosely. “Now what do you have planned, Mr. CEO?” she asked, looking Victor in the eye in an attempt to keep her eyes from drifting downward.

“I believe it’s late enough to begin dinner so it will be ready before a certain dummy is breaking down the refrigerator door,” Victor replied. “Why don’t you choose a film to watch while I cook? There should be a selection of them in the drawer beneath the television.”

Knowing that translated to “you aren’t invited to help me cook this time,” the girl nodded and took Victor’s hand to drag him back into the wide-open living area. He led her to the couch and pulled his hand away, leaving her to her own devices.

Soon the rich scents of garlic and onion filled the air from the kitchen, and the cheerful music of a comedy sang from the TV. The girl settled into an armchair from which she could see both Victor and the movie at the same time. Her world felt warm and comfortable, she couldn’t imagine it being any better than this.

#cozy isn't it #for now #mr love queen's choice #mr love game #mr love victor fanfic #mr love victor #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #evol x love #love and producer victor fanfic #love and producer fanfic #love and producer #love and producer li zeyan

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you-are-my-joy · 3 years ago

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The Return of an Empress | 08

Title: The Return of an Empress

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Genre: Isekai, Angst, Romance, Fluff, Smut (Later on), Slow burn

Characters: Empress!Reader, Advisor!Jin, Advisor!Yoongi, General!Hoseok, Advisor!Namjoon, Assassin!Jimin, Knight!Taehyung, Knight!Jungkook

Word count: ~9.2k

Summary: After one fateful night, you find yourself transmigrated into your favorite novel as the Empress that shares the same name as you. As a bookworm, most would think you’d be happy, but how could you be happy when the Empress you’ve become is expected to be killed in three months. The only thing on your mind now is to learn how to survive.

Warning: May contain depictions of violence and mentions of abuse throughout the story.

Masterlist

<< previous chapter | ♡ | next chapter >>

“Here you go, your majesty,” Joy offers you a glass of water before preparing your bed for you to sleep in.

Your eyes soften at the girl, “Thank you Joy,” you gratefully take the water and nearly drink it in one gulp. Absolutely exhausted after everything that has happened.

“Long day?” Joy teases as she takes the now empty glass from your hand.

You let out a long sigh, stretching your arms above your head, “don’t even get me started.” Joy purses her lips, giving you a sad expression as she can see how tired you were, both mentally and physically. She wishes she could help further, but the most she could do is attend to your needs, but honestly, that’s all you really need at the moment.

To say it was a long day would be an absolute understatement as you recall the events that occurred. From the morning of the beheadings, to dealing with reporters, and finally to consoling a crying Yoongi, yup, it was most definitely a very long day.

You close your eyes as you think about your time with Yoongi just a few hours ago.

Yoongi sniffs before pulling away, his red puffy eyes looking at your now damp shoulder, suddenly feeling embarrassed for breaking down right in front of you. But that doesn’t stop him from grabbing hold of your hands, “I’m so sorry for everything, for not being there for you when you need me the most,” his tearful gaze staring straight at you, glossy eyes on the verge of producing more tears.

He continues as he lets out a shaky breath, “I’m sorry for giving up on you,” his voice cracks as a fresh batch of tears begin to form in his eyes.

You give him a soft smile as you reach a hand to wipe away at his tears, “I forgive you,” you whisper softly.

Yoongi closes his eyes, savoring this moment as you caress his cheek gently. “You shouldn’t,” he whispers as he tearfully looks at you with a downcasted look.

However, you two didn’t stay in that position for long as your presence was urgently needed elsewhere when Joy called for you. You remember looking back regretfully towards Yoongi, but he only nods, understanding that you’d be busy with the whole scandal. He ushered you out of the room, gingerly placing his palm to your back. Promising to speak to you privately when the whole ordeal dies down.

And so despite having such a long day, you can’t help but feel like things worked out in the end. You no longer have to deal with Lee Joong-Gu nor do you have to worry about Yoongi. You had always planned to reconcile with Yoongi at some point in the future, but you never imagined it would transpire like that, with the usual cold advisor breaking down his walls and sobbing in your arms. But you can't help but feel like a weight is off your shoulder.

The only thing on your mind now is what’s going to happen when you’re attending the meeting tomorrow. Because for the first time since you’ve arrived in this world, all eight of you would be present in the same room. You’re not sure how that would turn out considering how tense it was when only five men were in the same room. You can only imagine what would occur with all seven, but you try to remain positive, only hoping that the meeting would run as smoothly as possible.

This was probably one of the most awkward things you’ve ever had to sit through.

Here you are, all eight of you sitting around in a circular table in complete silence as you eye the men wearily. Initially it was only just going to be you, Hoseok, and the three advisors, but the three youngest insisted that they attend this meeting as well. And yet, no one has the courage to speak up in front of each other. The only sounds coming from Taehyung’s fingers tapping against the hardwood in a steady beat. Meanwhile the rest of the men fidget in their seats impatiently, avoiding eye contact with one another.

You let out a sigh, unable to handle this any further. Here goes nothing. You clear your throat, immediately gaining everyone’s attention, “Thank you for being here everyone, we have a lot to talk about.”

Hoseok nods his head, crossing his arms, “indeed we do.”

You turn your attention to Namjoon sitting in front of you, “I’m sure you have a list of things to discuss about,” you wave your hand, “take it away,” you lean back in your chair crossing your legs, ready for whatever's about to come.

Namjoon looks down at the countless documents in front of him as he skims through its contents, “we need to first discuss what we plan to do with former Grand Duke Lee Joong-Gu.” Offering you a tentative glance before looking through the documents once more.

You hum, leaning against the arms of your chair, “Who will be inheriting the late grand duke's wealth?” you ask curiously.

“His eldest daughter, Lee Yuri, is the heir,” Namjoon answers without raising his head to look at you.

Suddenly, Jin speaks up, “We should thoroughly investigate her and the rest of the family,” he glares down at the documents as if they were cursed, “his butler turned himself in for knowing about the drugs, who’s to say more people don't know about it either. We should take them away and put them in the dungeons before that happens.” You hear many of the men murmur their agreement to his statement.

You, however, try to avoid eye contact, pretending to busy yourself with looking over the documents, trying not to act suspicious because you know she’s innocent. Despite being a god awful human being, the grand duke truly did love his family and made sure that they never knew about the drugs in hopes of protecting them. If he ever got caught, he didn’t want to bring them down with him. His only decision in life that you agreed on.

You nod, “we will go through with investigating his family.” You didn’t want to, knowing they were innocent, but how could you explain yourself without them thinking you’ve gone crazy.

You raise your head to look around the room, “however, the investigation will commence a week after today.”

Hoseok furrows his eyebrows, “I’m sorry but I have to disagree,” he butts in, “we need to take them into custody just to play safe. What if they hide every evidence of their involvement during that time frame?”

There are none. Is what you want to say. But you know without any proof to back up your claim, they would never believe you.

“They just witnessed the beheading of their father, that’s not something that’s easy to get over. We should give them time to grieve,” you suggest. You watch the rest of the men eye each other wearily, clearly opposed to your idea.

“Their father is a criminal,” Yoongi grinds out with clenched teeth.

“Does that automatically mean they’re criminals as well?” you question with a raised brow.

He crosses his arms as he leans back against his chair, lips pursed with displeasure, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Just because he was their father doesn’t mean they share the same morals,” you defend.

Jin only sighs, “I understand where you’re coming from, but chances are, they probably knew about it too. We shouldn’t risk anything and take them in,” his tone cold and disapproving.

“Let’s put it this way,” you start, “they’re automatically being labelled as criminals just because they’re his family without any solid evidence,” you furrow your eyes, waving your hand around, “does that sound fair to you?”

The men remain silent, urging you to continue, “You have to also think about what they’re going through. Because not only has their father betrayed the empire, he betrayed them, surely that’s not a good feeling to have. Their family reputation is in shambles because of him all because he chose his greed over his own family,” your voice rising with each passing second.

Hoseok cocks a brow, both surprised and confused over your sudden behavior, “why are you so persistent with this?”

“Because I don’t want to be responsible for-“ their death.

You stop yourself. You got too emotional and nearly almost blurted out something you shouldn’t.

In the sequel to the story, where the Grand Duke finally gets exposed, it’s revealed that not only does he have to pay the price for his crimes, but his family does too. The boys were far too emotional to make any rational decisions due to the scandal. In their fit of anger and need for revenge, they investigated and apprehended every family member of the criminals associated with the drugs, starting with Lee Joong-Gu’s.

They didn’t care that the family was still in the early stages of grief, because to them, they were just the family of the man that ruined their lives.

And for that reason, they didn’t care when they got ridiculed publicly or when their name was absolutely stomped on in the tabloids. Even when they were proven to be innocent, they didn’t do anything to stop the harsh treatment they received from society.

His family never had time to grieve, their emotions bottled up due to all the attention they were receiving. Where the eldest daughter was essentially known as the daughter that killed the late empress, despite her efforts in trying to rebuild their reputation that title followed her everywhere she went.

And when the entire family took their own lives, unable to handle the bankruptcy and excessive bullying, the empire rejoiced. They were innocent, yet their lives were ruined all because they trusted someone who promised to protect them. It wasn’t fair.

“Your majesty?”

You blink, “huh?”

Jimin eyes you in concern, “You didn’t want to be responsible for what?”

You clear your throat, an attempt to compose yourself as you try to to avoid their prying eyes, “I didn’t want to be responsible for ruining people’s lives if they turned out to be innocent.”

Yoongi scowls, clearly against your decision, “You’re being too lenient,” he points at the document angrily, “they could retaliate and avenge their father!”

You suck in a deep breath, calming down as you stare deep into his eyes, “Yoongi do you trust me?”

He stills for a moment, before his eyes soften at this. He hesitates before nodding his head reluctantly, “yes, I do.”

You offer him a weak smile, thankful and surprised he admitted to that so easily, “then please trust in me on this as well,” your pleading eyes boring into his.

Yoongi sighs, before slumping down in his chair in defeat, wanting to avoid conflict after somewhat reconciling with you the day before. He didn’t want to risk causing more tension when you two have a lot more to talk about. So for now, he’ll just have to suck it up and deal with it.

You look around the room, immediately taking note of their displeased expressions, “any objections?”

Suddenly the sound of a chuckle echoes around the room as Hoseok shakes his head, “seeing as how Yoongi hyung wasn’t able to get through you, neither of us have a chance,” he leans on the table with a smirk, “let’s hope her majesty’s judgment is correct.”

You turn your head back to Namjoon, “alright, what’s next on the list.” But before he could utter a word, Jimin suddenly rises to his feet.

“Wait!” he calls out, causing you and many of the other men to jump in surprise, he sends you all a sheepish smile before continuing, “there’s something important I need to say,” you watch as he chews on his bottom lip, lost in deep thought wondering how to explain himself, his expression tight and strained.

You nod your head, giving him permission to speak. He runs his fingers through his hair with shaking hands as he lets out a low chuckle, “I believe now is the time to break my fingers.” He stares at you, shoulders slumped while doing so.

You frown, “Why would I do that?”

“Because I broke our promise,” his head hangs low, unable to look you in the eye, “I wasn’t able to protect you.”

You thought for a moment, tilting your head, “I’m sorry Jimin but can you explain more?”

He nods, straightening his posture, “The night of the ball, after the criminals were apprehended,” he starts before carefully thinking of his next words, “there were spies in the area,” his voice low and tense.

Everyone freezes, as they process what he said. Spies?

“There were spies in the area?” Jin asked, rephrasing the statement into a question as though it were a surprise as he leans on the table.

Just when you thought you had nothing else to worry about, here comes Jimin dropping a huge bomb on all of you. You begin to feel immensely anxious, as this has never occurred in the novel, but seeing how much you've managed to change the story from the original plot, you’re not entirely surprised.

You clear your throat, stomach contracting into a tight ball, “can you please describe what happened?” you know this would only stress you out more, but you needed to know all the details.

Jimin bites his bottom lip, “I was watching the scene from above the dome ceiling, when I saw movement from the corner of my eyes,” he hangs his head low, feeling ashamed over his actions, “I was so immersed in the scene from below that I didn’t do my job correctly and only saw the spy at the last minute.”

He lets out a shaky breath before turning to you, his eyes brimming with tears, “They managed to escape, I’m sorry,” his voice cracking and tight. You want to go and soothe him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move at the sudden stab of anxiety in your gut.

The men stiffen at the sudden revelation, fidgeting in their seat as their eyes dart between everyone’s shocked faces around the circular table.

“It gets worse,” Jimin adds in a low voice causing everyone to snap in his direction.

Jin lets out an exasperated sigh as he rubs his temples, “How could it get any worse than this?”

Jimin gives you all a weak smile, “There was more than one,” he confesses, voice edged with tension.

Taehyung chokes on his own spit, “What do you mean there were more than one?” His voice rose an octave in disbelief.

Jimin’s lip grows thin and firm, he explains to the group how when he was chasing after the person, an onslaught of arrows flew past his head before he could even grab hold of the person’s cloak. Too many arrows at a time to be just one person.

Namjoon groans, already feeling the uncomfortable ache in his head developing beneath his temples as he buries his head in his hands, “I thought once the drugs were dealt with, we’d have nothing major to worry about,” he raises his head, his tired expression showing, “now you’re telling me we have to deal with spies too?”

Taeheyung sighs tiredly, “took the words right out of my mouth,” he turns his head to you, “seems like her majesty has a lot of enemies.”

Truthfully, you knew many people opposed the empress, most of them were nobles who lost their power and authority when she began her reign. And for that reason, you’re unable to deduce the list to one person. You groan, slumping lazily on your seat as you lean against the chair.

Hoseok’s mouth quirk upward, slightly amused at your posture, “could it be an old fling enacting their revenge? How many people have you been with again?” he teases as he leans on the table, an attempt to lighten the mood seeing how stressed you’ve become.

You glare in his direction, not at all in the mood to laugh at any jokes, “mind your own business,” you grumble.

But the man only laughs as he grins back at you, “I’m not sure you’re aware of this, but you are my business, Y/n.”

This especially doesn’t go past Yoongi as his eyes widen by his statement, “Y/n?” he questions in disbelief.

Jin looks up at Yoongi, eyeing his reaction, “her majesty gave Taehyung and Jungkook permission to address her by her name,” he explains, careful not to set the advisor off with his words, but he cocks a brow in Hoseok's direction, “although I was unaware she extended this to Hoseok.” But the said man only shrugs.

You flinch when Yoongi and Jimin whirls their head in your direction, face unreadable as their hardened eyes stare you down. You clear your throat, straightening your posture as you stare at everyone, “well, I was actually planning on extending this to all of you at some point during this meeting,” you send them an uncertain smile, “guess now is as good a time as any.”

Jin raises a brow, “Really?” his disbelief evident in his expression. Though you give him a small smile, nodding your head in confirmation.

Jimin’s breath hitches, “You’ll allow me to call you by your name, despite failing you?”

Your eyes soften in his direction, “Jimin you didn’t fail me, you saw the spies despite how dark it was outside and informed all of us. That’s more than I could ask for from you,” you reach your hand to wrap around his, squeezing it gently, “you did well, thank you,” you send him a reassuring smile.

You see his eyes becoming glossy as he looks away from your stare, sucking in a breath to compose himself before turning back to you. He squeezes your hand in return as the corners of his lips curve upward, more than grateful for your words.

Jungkook, who has been silently listening and observing this entire time, looks up hesitantly, “what do we do now?”

Everyone in the room looks around, unsure of how to answer his question before you clear your throat, “we don’t know if there are more spies in the palace, I think all we can do is keep this to ourselves for now and just observe our surroundings more closely,” you suggest, watching as the rest of the men nod in agreement.

“This is why you’re the empress,” Taehyung yawns as he stretches his arms above his head, feeling a lot more relaxed as compared to how he was just moments before.

Just then, Jimin stands up, gently pulling on your joined hands for you to rise on your feet as well. “I think that’ll be enough for today.” You watch as Jungkook and Taehyung stand up as well, preparing to leave.

Namjoon shifts in his seat as he stares at them incredulously, “We’re not done!” waving frantically at the countless documents on the table.

“I understand but there was a lot to process during this meeting,” Taehyung states, then points at you, “I personally believe her majesty should let off some steam.”

Instead of giving a snarky reply, Namjoon only groans as he waves you all off. Taehyung quirks a brow, “You surprisingly gave up a lot sooner than I expected.”

But the advisor just lets out a sigh as he gives him a bored expression, “it’s not like you’re going to listen to me no matter what I say, and frankly, I don’t have the energy left in me to make you all stay.” You can tell he was being serious as he stares at you all in a tired manner. Surprisingly, the rest of the men had similar expressions, you had thought Yoongi or Jin would put in their two cents, but contrary to what you expected, they remained silent.

Taehyung winks, “glad we’re on the same page,” he salutes goodbye to the older males, “if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be taking our leave,” he moves to grab hold of your other hand as he begins to lead you three out the door.

You tilt your head, you let them lead you out the room despite being confused over the situation, “What are we doing?”

Taehyung doesn’t turn around, but you can tell he’s smirking, “I was thinking we should do some training,” he starts, “seeing as how there’s spies we gotta worry about now.”

Your eyes widen as you stare at the back of his head, “We?”

You hear Jungkook snicker from beside you as he throws an arm around your shoulder lazily, “Yes, we are going to train.” His grin grew wider at the sight of your horrified expression.

Please have mercy on my soul.

You didn’t realize Taehyung was actually being serious about the whole training session, not until he ushered you into your bedroom calling for Joy to gather a change of lighter clothes that allows you to move more freely. And now here you are in the palace courtyard, absolutely dreading what was about to come.

“Alright, who's going up against our dear empress,” Jimin claps his hands excitedly.

In the next second, Jungkook raises his hand in the air, as Taehyung laughs and pats his shoulder, “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a volunteer.” Jungkook winks at you and you do your best to smile back at him, but if anything it came out more of a grimace.

“I’m betting on Y/n,” Jimin suddenly calls out before pointing at Taehyung, “you’re stuck with supporting Jungkook.”

Taehyung stops walking as he furrows his eyes, “No fair! I had my bets set on Y/n from the beginning!” He whines loudly.

Jungkok scoffs from beside you, carrying two wooden swords in his hands, “Should I be offended that none of you believe in me?”

But Taehyung just shrugs his shoulders, “You’re going up against the empress herself, can you really blame us?”

“Fair enough,” Jungkook grumbles, almost as if he was already admitting defeat as he hands you your sword.

You chuckle nervously, your palms beginning to sweat as you grip on the handle of the sword tightly, “I’m afraid you’re giving me far too much credit,” you joke to hide the fact that you were absolutely terrified when the sparring began. In any other situation, you would be drooling over Jungkook’s biceps, but at the moment, you can’t help but shiver in fear knowing he was strong enough to crush you in a second. At this point you’re desperately praying for muscle memory to finally come to your rescue.

Taehyung huffs, “fine, I’ll place my bets on Jungkook,” he grumbles at last, clearly upset over his current situation.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Gee thanks,” he replies sarcastically. “I wasn’t aware we were even betting money on this.”

Jimin smirks as he shrugs, “makes things more interesting, y’know.”

Taehyung whips his head, staring at him incredulously, “Yeah for you! You’re betting on Y/n. You practically win by default!” Taehyung snaps before raising his palm in Jungkook’s direction, “No offense Jungkookie.”

“None taken.”

You shake your head, no longer fazed by their childish banters at this point, “How much are you even betting on,” raising a container, similar to a water bottle, up to your lips.

“50 gold coins.”

You spit out your drink, “50 gold coins?” you cough. During your first few days, you were curious to know the value of those gold coins, so you did a little research in the library. Apparently 1 gold coin was enough to feed an entire village for a month. Now they’re betting 50? “Don’t you think that’s a bit excessive for a measly bet?” your eyes widen as you switch between Jimin and Taehyung.

Taehyung nods as he takes your side immediately, “I agree 100% with Y/n.”

Jimin only rolls his eyes, “You’re only saying that because you’re betting on Jungkook,” he points accusingly.

“And you’re only happy about that cause you’re betting on Y/n!” He snaps right back at him.

Jimin pauses, “Well… I can’t argue with that.”

“See!”

Just then, Jungkook turns to you with a mischievous smile.

Oh no.

“Why don’t we make this even more interesting,” he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows in your direction.

You raise a brow, “I’m listening.” You know nothing good could come out of this, especially at the way he was looking at you.

He smirks, “why don’t we have a bet of our own. Loser fulfils one wish from the winner.”

You hum, before turning your attention to Jimin. “Team meeting,” you call out, gesturing to him to come to you.

Jimin raises a brow before laughing, jogging up to you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you huddle in your own ‘private’ space.

“This bet seems kinda risky. You think I should accept it?”

Jimin nods his head seriously, “Of course. I wouldn’t have made a bet on you if I didn’t believe in you completely,” he scoffs before pointing behind him, “I mean look at the kid, does he really look like a hard person to beat?”

You nod, turning your head to eye him down, playing along with him, “You’re right, looking closer he’s really not all that.”

“Guys I can still hear you.”

Jimin waves him off, “Ignore him, anyway I think you should take him up on this offer.”

“Got it. Alright, good discussion.” You two break apart as you look at the now glaring knight. “We’ve come to a conclusion, Jeon Jungkook, I accept this bet.” You stick your hand out, he smirks before you’re both shaking hands in agreement.

You turn to look at Jimin as he gives you a thumbs up with a wide reassuring smile - your very own cheerleader.

You turn your attention back to Jungkook, only for your eyes to widen into saucers when his abs make a sudden appearance. You were definitely not mentally prepared for this as the author never mentioned anything about articles of clothing being removed during training. Jungkook, having noticed your ogling winks at you, “try not to drool too much.”

You only roll your eyes, turning away, embarrassed you were caught staring, “not much to drool over.” Oh who were you kidding, his body was practically sculpted by the gods. And you're sure he knows this too, based on his reaction.

Instead of getting snarky or offended at your words, he only shakes his head with a low chuckle before smirking back at you.

Alright. You admit. That was kinda hot.

You gulp nervously as he begins to stretch, his muscles flexing with every movement. At this point you just hope you make it out alive.

“Showoff,” Jimin exclaims loudly, now sitting on a nearby bench on the side.

Jungkook smirks, “no need to be jealous hyung.” Making a show to flex his muscles even more in ridiculous poses.

Jimin only rolls his eyes before turning his attention back to you, “Y/n, do me a favor and beat his ass.”

You let out a chuckle, “I’ll do my best.”

At this point, you four caught the attention of many passing knights and maids who were initially confused and curious about what was going on. But once they caught on to what was happening, many are now conveniently standing at a distance, pretending to do work when in reality they were anticipating this match just as much as Jimin and Taehyung.

Jungkook smirks up at you, “Ready to feel defeat?” A glint in his eyes screaming trouble.

You let out a huff of air as you stretch your arms and legs, “I’d like to see you try.”

“What should we do regarding the rebellion?”

After the meeting, the three advisors stayed behind after you were seemingly dragged out by the younger boys out the room. Hoseok had to leave soon after as he needed to go do his daily routine of checking up on the knights training. And so that only left the three advisors to their own thoughts.

“Well isn’t it obvious, we step down,” Namjoon states confidently. The three men grow silent as they take in the immense weight that statement holds. The realization that the rebellion that they’ve all planned meticulously for almost a year now, is about to come to an end. They knew stepping down meant finally admitting that the empress has returned and was no longer the tyrant they all detested.

Jin looks around the room wearily, “let’s not speak here, we can talk about it another time,” he whispers. Although the room was quiet and desolate, he didn’t want to take any chances of anyone eavesdropping on their conversation. Especially if it was in regards to the rebellion now that spies were suddenly a problem, “And besides, Hoseok’s not here, we need to know where he stands in all this as well.”

Namjoon nods his head understandingly, “I agree, I think all we can do now, is be careful of our surroundings and wait until we’re in a safe private area to discuss further.” All three men rise to their feet, collecting the documents before heading out the door.

“You know hyung,” Namjoon starts, eyeing Yoongi as they walk down the halls, “I’m glad to hear that you reconciled with Y/n yesterday.”

“Hoseok told us everything this morning,” Jin clarifies.

Yoongi hums, not looking at either men in the eye, “I wouldn’t necessarily say we reconciled completely as there’s still a lot to talk about.”

“Let’s hope that once all this get settled, we’ll all have time to properly speak to each other, I believe we all owe her that much,” Jin clutches the documents in his hands as his eyes narrow down at them, a painful reminder of their mistreatment towards the empress when she was being taken advantage of. Namjoon and Yoongi nod sadly, too ashamed of their past actions to look each other in the eye as a wave of guilt washes over all three of them.

But they don’t dwell on that feeling for long when suddenly a small group of maids and knights shuffles quickly right past them, many buzzing with excitement as they make their way to what seemed like the direction of the courtyard.

All three men turn to face one another, immensely confused over the situation especially when they see more palace staff rushing past them. Curiosity got the best of them before they too began to follow the crowd.

They could almost hear distant cheering as they followed the small group. The closer they got the louder the cheers became. When they rounded the corner, they were surprised to find a crowd of maids and knights huddled around the many windows that were now opened.

And they were especially surprised to find Hoseok being among the bunch. He notices the advisors immediately and waves them over, “C’mon you’re gonna miss the show!” Using his General privileges, he managed to snag his own window to himself to watch the show.

Namjoon raises a brow as he approaches the general, “Thought you had to go observe the knights?”

Hoseok chuckles, “I am,” he states as a matter of factly as he points around the area, “they’re all here.” Well they couldn’t deny that as it almost did seem as though every person present in the palace was at attendance. They wouldn’t be surprised if that actually was the case.

Yoongi winces at the loud cheers around him, “What’s going on?” They were even more confused than ever before as the palace has never been this active in all their years of staying there.

Instead of responding, Hoseok only smiles and nods his head at the window. They all turn and simultaneously widen their eyes at the sight before them.

Jin lurches forward against the open window, “Is that her majesty?!” his eyes bulging out from their sockets at the way you and Jungkook fought, flinching at an especially hard blow that Jungkook gives you, only for you to retaliate with your foot against his face, “They’re going too hard on each other!” he then snaps his head to Hoseok, “Whose idea was-”

“HIT HIM WITH THE OLD ONE TWO, Y/N!” Jimin cheers loudly, standing on the bench, throwing punches in the air.

“C’MON JUNGKOOK DON’T FUCKING EMBARRASS ME! I’M RISKING A LOT OF MONEY FOR SUPPORTING YOU!” Taehyung yells on the side, standing on the bench as well.

Jin deadpans, “Why do I get this feeling like I already know the answer to this question.”

Hoseok bellows loudly, “Because you probably do,” he pats his shoulder, “just enjoy the show hyung, Jungkook and Y/n aren’t going nearly as hard on each other as they would normally do in a real fight.”

Namjoon nods as he leans against the window frame, “He’s right, believe it or not, they’re actually holding themselves back at the moment.” Jin sighs in defeat as he relents and faces the window, desperately hoping this whole thing would end soon.

A shaky breath escapes your lips, as Jungkook breathes heavily from across you. You were surprisingly holding yourself really well against the significantly larger knight, extremely thankful to see muscle memory coming into play as it almost seemed like your body moved on its own. And as a result, it was an exhilarating match between the empress and one of the strongest knights in the empire.

Loud cheers catch your attention as there is now a large group of guards and maids crowding around the area to watch the spectacle, while some maids and knights had a nice view from above through the open windows in the palace. It wasn’t every day they got to see the empress fighting, so they were definitely not going to waste this opportunity.

Jungkook wipes sweat off his forehead, the action catching your eye immediately, “Seems like her majesty is a crowd favorite.”

You chuckle back at him, “Probably cause they know I’m gonna win,” you tease with a wink. You know you’re probably an equally sweaty mess as well but neither one of you seem to mind in the slightest.

Jungkook doesn’t back down as you see a slight smirk forming on his lips, “Don’t get too cocky now Y/n, I was going easy on you earlier,” he readies his stance, “Now, it’s the real deal.” As if proving his statement, he suddenly lunges forward with his wooden sword.

Miraculously, you managed to dodge his attack as you swiftly duck down and move to the side. This catches Jungkook off guard as he had expected you to block his attack at hand, not move away. You take advantage of this as you swing your legs against the back of his knees, causing the knight to stumble forward as he attempts to regain his posture. But you don’t allow him a second to breathe as you continue your attack by kicking his back, causing him to completely lose his balance and fall onto the ground.

You hear multiple people squeal in delight over the move, especially the two loudest in the vicinity.

“OH YEAH THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT!” Jimin cheers with his fists in the air. High-fiving a random knight who was equally as thrilled as him.

Meanwhile Taehyung was pulling at his hairs in frustration, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT JUNGKOOK? A COMPLETE DISAPPOINTMENT THAT’S WHAT!”

Jungkook rolls on his back and impressively kicks his feet in the air until he’s back standing. He whirls around to face Taehyung angrily, “You call that supporting?!”

“Kinda hard to support you when she’s clearly kicking your ass!” Taehyung snaps back at him.

Jungkook turns his head around to face you when he hears you giggle, a faint smile on your face as your eyes lock onto one another. He raises a brow, “Her majesty thinks this is funny?”

“Hilarious actually,” you smirk.

This time, it was you who made the first move, you lunged with your wooden sword, swinging it in the air aiming for his chest. Jungkook blocked this with ease, grunting as he roughly pushes you off him, only to give a swing of his own in your direction.

Sucking in a breath, you quickly take a step further behind you, arching your back slightly, just barely dodging the tip of his sword before ducking down and swinging your sword from below.

But this practically does nothing either as Jungkook dodges your attack as well.

The two of you go at it for some time, neither one of you submitting to the other. There was no denying that Jungkook was an extremely talented knight. With the way his calculating eyes analyze your every move, almost predicting what your next attack would be, made it easy for him to defend himself.

But the same could be said about you. You managed to defend yourself surprisingly well. Even having the strength to counter his attacks. A testimony to how the empress gained her position.

Jungkook had long since lost his smirk as his narrowed eyes bore into you, now giving his full concentration in the fight. And with that he steps forward, you get ready to counter his attack, but instead of going for you, he aims his attack at your sword. And before you know it, your sword is thrusted into the air as Jungkook uses all his force for you to lose your grip.

You widen your eyes as you look at the now smug knight before you. You raise a brow. So that’s how you wanna be? You smirk, two can play at that game.

In the next second, Jungkook swings his sword with precision, but you weren’t going to let him take advantage of you, so instead of dodging his attack, you eye the sword's movement and as if everything moved in slow motion, you somehow catch the wooden object right in between your hands.

Jungkook widens his eyes in disbelief. You take advantage of his momentary shock when you twist and throw his own sword to the side with ease.

“If I can’t have my sword then neither can you.”

Jungkook chuckles as he clenches his fist, “fair enough.” He rolls his head, “I always did prefer hand-to-hand combat anyway,” and with that he takes a step back, before bringing his foot in the air aiming for your side. You dodge his attack, and retaliate with your own.

The crowd watches with bated breaths as you two were a perfect match. Where Jungkook excelled in strength, you excelled in skill and swiftness. With his muscles, Jungkook could easily overpower you, but your nimble feet somehow managed to move before he could lay his hands on you, much to his annoyance.

“Stay still,” he says with gritted teeth, a drop of sweat falling down his face.

You let out a tired breath, “never,” you wheeze out, weaving your way out of his reach, successfully dodging his attack once more.

You take a step forward, and with clenched fists you throw a punch aimed towards his stomach, but Jungkook catches your wrist and pulls you forward before turning your body around, wrapping his arms around your shoulder. His biceps successfully caging you in, rendering you motionless.

“BOO HISS,” Jimin exclaims loudly, clearly not a fan of your current predicament.

Taehyung only swats him away, suddenly feeling a surge of confidence over his friend, “C’MON JUNGKOOKIE!”

You feel his bare body pressed against your back as he tightens his hold. His head lowering until you feel his ragged breathing by your ear, “Ready to admit defeat my dear empress?” he whispers lowly causing shivers down your spine. You suck in a breath. Focus Y/n, now is not the time to fangirl.

You look down before smirking, “That would imply that you’ve beaten me, so no,” as disgusting as it sounds, your bodies covered in sweat allowed you to escape his viper-like grip by seemingly sliding out of his grasp. And in one swift movement, you turn your body to face him. He attempts to bring you back by grabbing your forearm, jerking you forward, but you use that momentum to your advantage by raising your knee towards his abdomen.

Jungkook grunts upon impact as he stumbles backwards, you move to kick at his chest, but he catches your ankle mid-air and twists it, careful enough as to not sprain your ankle, but enough force to cause you to lose your balance.

Your breath hitches as you suddenly find yourself laying flat on the ground. Jungkook, having composed himself after your hard blow, lunges forward, you roll away, successfully dodging his feet. But from your position on the ground, you widen your eyes as you notice something laying right beside your head.

Though you don’t have much time to think when suddenly you feel a weight over you as Jungkook roughly turns you around and is now practically on top of you. His legs caging you in like an animal. Looking up, you find that he’s grabbed hold of his fallen sword and is now swinging it in circles calmly from above you.

He smirks triumphantly, “Not going to lie, this is a very nice view,” he snickers as you glare up at him, “any last words before I win?” However, he stops short when he notices a smile forming on your lips. “What?”

You giggle mockingly, “you talk too much,” this time it’s your turn to smirk.

He furrows his brows until he feels something sharp poking him. Looking down, he’s shocked to find that you had managed to retrieve your wooden sword. Which, by sheer luck, was laying right beside your head on the ground and is now pointed directly at his stomach. In a real life scenario Jungkook would’ve died.

And for that reason, you won.

Jimin is seen laughing his ass off as he too realized that the winner in this intense match was indeed you. While Taehyung looks absolutely miserable right beside him as he slumps down in defeat. The two friends expressing a wave of emotions, contrasting one another.

The crowd around you cheers loudly, the sound deafening as if the entire empire were present to watch the spectacle.

Jungkook lets out a low chuckle as he finally admits defeat, “I should’ve known better than to think it would be that easy to beat you,” he states before looking down at you, “but no matter what it seems I can never outsmart her majesty.”

You wink up at him, “better luck next time Jungkookie.” He only smiles softly down at you.

But it’s only now do you realize the position you both were in. His body straddling yours, with his abs on full display right in front of you. You feel blood rush up to your cheeks at his almost predatory gaze, that you can’t handle it and turn your head away from the man on top of you.

You swear you could see him smirk from the corner of your eyes before he shakes head and stands up. He offers you his hand, to which you gratefully reach for before he pulls you up to your feet.

“I can’t believe you lost,” Taehyung whines as both he and Jimin begin to approach the two of you. You giggle at how disheveled Taehyung looked, if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was the one fighting instead of Jungkook. You can only imagine the thoughts going through his mind with his stress level rising with each passing second.

Though Jimin grins widely as he runs up to you with open arms. You widen your eyes, raising your arms in front of you, “W-Wait Jimin I’m sweaty,” but the boy doesn’t mind as he wraps his arms around your waist and twirls you around.

Jimin laughs, “I knew you could do it!”

You giggle, the sound causing his heart to skip a beat. He widens his grin, finally putting you back down on the ground as he stares at you feeling proud.

You beam back at him, “Thank you for believing in me,” you say sincerely.

His eyes soften as he smiles at you adoringly, “Always.”

“I would just like to clarify I believed in you as well,” Taehyung suddenly butts in, but Jimin pays him no mind as he waves him off.

Just then you suddenly hear clapping, turning around and you find Yoongi slowly approaching you four along with Namjoon, Jin and Hoseok trailing not too far behind him. Despite his calm demeanor, you can tell at closer inspection that he was fighting off a proud smile.

“Good job,” he finally speaks up when he reaches you. Your eyes widen, stunned before looking at his face, trying to confirm if what you heard was right. His cheeks glowing a tint of red when you don’t say anything.

You grin at his sudden timidness, “thank you.” He nods before turning his head, suddenly feeling too shy to look you in the eye. But you don’t comment any more, more than grateful to see him making an effort to act nice.

The three older men finally join the rest of you. Jin lets out a sigh as he eyes both of your bodies being littered with bruises, “now did you two have to go that hard for you to get harmed like this?”

Yoongi scoffs just then, rolling his eyes, “oh quit your nagging old man, they look fine to me.”

Jin lets out an offended noise as he snaps his head to look at him in disbelief, “old man?! Now you listen here-“

Hoseok shoves his way between the older males, successfully silencing the both of them as he grins at you, “that was an amazing show your majesty!” he grins, “when you’re up for it, I want a turn next,” he winks.

You let out a tired chuckle, “It would be an honor to go up against the great Jung Hoseok.” You two smile at each other, you know he was joking, but you can tell there was some truth to his statement.

“Drinks on Taehyung!” Jimin suddenly announces with a wide grin.

The said knight whirls around with comical wide eyes, “That wasn’t part of the deal!”

Jimin laughs tauntingly, “No, the bet was you give me 50 gold coins. And I’m going to use that amount to give everyone here a drink. Let’s party!” he pumps his fist in the air excitedly.

“Shouldn’t you ask Y/n for permission to hold a celebration,” you stifle a giggle at the way Taehyung’s pleading eyes meet yours. You can practically see his body language begging you to listen to his pleas.

But if you’re going to be honest, with everything that’s happened, a moment to let loose and have fun was exactly what you needed. And you’re sure this is something everyone else would appreciate as well. And not to mention, your body being all bruised up was thanks to Taehyung’s brilliant idea to spar. So with that in mind, you give Taehyung a playful wink, turning to the crowd, “Drinks on Sir Taehyung tonight!”

Suddenly a second wave of cheers surround the area that you begin to think even the neighboring kingdoms could hear you.

Taehyung’s jaw drops as the cheers around you seemingly grow louder. The rest of the boys were amused by the whole situation in front of them, reveling in seeing the usual cocky knight get beaten in seconds by one sentence coming out your mouth.

“50 gold coins is nothing,” Yoongi hums, crossing his arms.

Taehyung presses his lips together, narrowing his eyes into thin slits, “A knight's salary is drastically different to the empress’s advisors.”

But the older male shrugs his shoulders with a slight closed-lipped smile, “You’ll be fine. Thanks for the drinks,” he teases, his grin growing even wider at the young knight's apparent annoyed expression.

Namjoon eyes the bruises on your skin in concern, “I believe you should go off to the royal physician before anything else. I can’t have our empress showing up in bruises for everyone to see.”

Jungkook scoffs, “And what about me?”

“What about you?” Namjoon questions with a bored expression.

“I got all bruised up as well! Her majesty isn’t an easy opponent, you know?” as if to prove his point, he makes a show to dramatically point at every bruise, big or small, that you inflicted on him, “Am I not a priority either?”

Namjoon clicks his tongue in displeasure, “you are, but the empress’s health is more important than anything else, don’t you agree?” he asks with a raised brow, as if daring him to challenge his statement.

But Jungkook relents, not having it in him to deny his claim as he agreed to it wholeheartedly. Because to him, you were more important than anything in the world. But Jungkook, being as petty as he is, refused to give him the satisfaction of admitting he was right. So instead he grumbles incoherently under his breath, but you swear you heard him mutter “dickhead” at some point in his rambling.

You laugh loudly, immediately catching the attention of the men around you, their mood instantly brightening as they smile widely staring at you in adoration.

This interaction surely doesn’t go unnoticed by the multiple pairs of eyes around you, as many maids swoon over the scene before them. The empress was surrounded by the seven men who were closest to her. They didn’t think it was possible to see them all together again but here you eight are, laughing and teasing as you’re all in your own little world, proving them all wrong.

“For the record, I let you win,” Jungkook grumbles, pointing a finger towards you as you walk down the halls. After the crowd had dispersed, Namjoon and especially Jin had insisted you both visit the royal physician, neither man was going to take no for an answer, that much you could tell based on their stern expressions and posture.

So here you are, standing beside Jungkook on your way to get your bruises treated. You can only imagine the look on the poor physician’s face when you two enter with sheepish grins.

You giggle, “sure, just keep telling yourself that,” you tease as you nudge his arm.

“It’s true,” he pouts childishly.

“Then how do you explain all the other times you’ve been beaten by the empress, hmm?” You can’t help but tease him, especially when he was acting all high and mighty moments before the fight.

Jungkook only rolls his eyes, “That’s cause i was being a gentleman who just wanted to make you happy.”

You scoff at his lame excuse, playfully pointing at a bruise slowly turning purple on your arm, “you call this being a gentleman?” But you regret saying that statement immediately at the crestfallen look on his face.

His eyes droop as he slowly reaches a hand and gingerly holds your arm in front of him, inspecting the bruises gently, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he utters softly, feeling immensely apologetic, “I just got way too competitive back there.”

You shake your head, smiling it off, “Jungkook I was joking please don’t worry. I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to this. If anything I think I should apologize to you for giving you this monstrosity.” You reach your hand out to gently soothe a rather large bruise on his abdomen in the area you kneed him. Jungkook freezes at your touch, gulping nervously when you caress the bruise absentmindedly.

Jungkook turns away in hopes of hiding his growing blush, “It’s really fine Y/n. I’ve been inflicted with far worse bruises before, this is nothing.” He insists calmly, a stark contrast to his racing thoughts.

You let out a sigh of relief, “that’s reassuring.” You take your hand away much to Jungkook’s disappointment.

He clears his throat, “Well since you won,” he playfully gags before laughing when you nudge at his shoulder, “what do you wish for?”

You hum, only now recalling your small little bet from earlier, “Not sure,” you turn to him, “If you had won, what would have been your wish?” You were curious, he seemed to have been fighting with all his might that you were wondering what his wish was for him to exert so much effort.

Jungkook stills, as if contemplating whether he should reveal his desires to you or not. You stop walking at the same time he did, now looking at him curiously. And after a few moments of thinking he made up his mind and turned to you. You suddenly feel anxious at his intense gaze. He still hasn’t said anything so you tilt your head, “Jungkook?” He blinks, “what was your wish?”

“I would’ve asked if I could kiss you.”

...

...What?

In an instant your eyes widen into saucers, in complete disbelief that he would actually confess to that. Neither one of you having the courage to speak as you just silently stare at one another.

He held your gaze, but he was slowly losing his confidence the longer you maintained eye contact. His ears turning a bright red as he’s slowly coming to the realization that yes, he indeed just blurted out his feelings like that.

He hastily turns away, “I-I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me.” And he wasn’t lying, because he too wasn’t sure why he said what he said. In all his years of knowing the empress, never once did he harbor such romantic feelings for her as he looked up to her as one would to a sister. But for some strange reason, this past month he’s been looking at her in a different light. And he honestly has no idea why. Why was he feeling this way after knowing the empress for so long. What changed in the past month for this to happen?

“Do you want to hear my wish?” You finally speak up softly.

Jungkook, though still blushing, nods his head, unable to meet your eyes.

You give him a small smile, “My wish was to make you happy,” you turn to look away when he snaps his head in your direction, suddenly feeling embarrassed, “I know how you get when you lose, so I figured I could use my wish to make you happy. Because your happiness is also my happiness, Jungkook.”

You fidget with your hands as you continue, “So if you want me to fulfill your wish then I will.” At this point, you just wanted to dig yourself a hole and swan dive right into it. You can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth but it’s too late. You said it and now you can’t take it back.

When he remains silent, face unreadable, you begin to stammer nervously, “b-but you don’t have to of course. There’s plenty of other things you could wish for if you-”

But you don’t get to finish your sentence as in the next second, you hear fast footsteps approaching, you raise your head only to suddenly feel a strong grip on your arms pulling you forward until soft pairs of lips land on yours.

You freeze at the sudden realization.

Jungkook just kissed you.

A/N: Hey! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I feel like we had a lot of drama in the past few chapters. I wanted to have a slightly more light-hearted chapter so here it is!

Haha were you guys expecting Jungkook to be the first one to be kissed? Cause I initially had another member in mind, but ideas always change with me lol

Feel free to let me know what you guys think!

And as always, thanks so much for reading and hope you all have a wonderful day! 🥰

Tagslist: (those in bold, I’m not sure if it worked for you, I’m really sorry, I’m not sure how to fix it) (I also apologize if I forgot to add someone, just comment again and I promise to add you in the next one!!)

@reallysparklychaos, @unknownsageking, @casspirit0705, @fangirl125reader, @silscintilla, @serefara29, @chimtaesty-main, @xxqueenwxtchxx, @diamonddia-mond, @vishakhas-world, @purelyecstacy, @resticou, @woopetals, @magicsweetener, @splaterparty0-0, @daydreambrliever, @strangeobjectmaker, @luna-xial, @m0chilattae, @celaenaelentiyavox, @lindsayjoy444, @layzfeelit, @kimsaerom, @songtiddies, @untamedgrape, @sonnymii, @moonssuga, @kassandravictoria, @galaxyflab, @blank-et-noir, @nynhope , @midnight1199, @yessii-i, @protontippens, @gguktings, @borahebangtan, @katkrusade, @handsupanddropthepotato, @missseoulite, @cellula-staminale, @red-bow-tie3, @whateveritis616, @ggukkieland, @sbroces, @nnessworls, @yoonieebear, @ssols, @totallynoanalien, @kaithezaftig, @seok-jinnies, @just-me-and-myselfs, @writingdust

#poly bts #poly!bts #bts au #bts fanfic #isekai #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader

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