#he does that thing where you dont blink for awhile

[tabbyrocks]

minor manga spoilers yahoo

A funny little idea for post war monoma is that like he just,,, forgets to blink due to using erasure for so long. it happens a lot when he's really focused or stressed out, and people have to remind him to blink occasionally.

also, he holds eye contact for waaaaayyyy too long. like it freaks people out.

[nightwatch-ithaqua]

eh, not my preference, and i seriously doubt we share any servers anyways because.. well, we arent really in any because we dont like being social, and we certainly arent in any big official ones. one on one convo like dms or discord tend to not work very well for situations like this because, as i mentioned, socially awkward and from that point on itd fully be on the other person to keep anything going since we dont really like reaching out firsf to people we arent close with.

ill be honest, they kind of did scare me off a tiny bit lmao, i dont like being told to quiet myself down in any way even if its completely true and necessary haha .. but eh, ill try a bit harder nonetheless.

i thought of two new things, the ears on the hood and the mask. personally if you asked me whether the ears were real or not i honestly couldnt really tell you.. i could move and feel them like actual ears but when the hood comes off theres nothing there lol. my mask was also like that for some reason, by all means just .. a normal mask, but it worked more like my actual face when i wore it. eyes moved and blinked, could make expressions and open my mouth etc.. crazy (shrugs)

🪷

Yeah I mean. We have ADHD so we forget about people we aren't close with so fast it's not even funny anyway.

And like if you aren't comfortable then like, you aren't comfortable. That's okay.

As for my mask, the only thing that I moved were my eyes. In headspace me and the others can move the ears to express ourselves but we couldn't like.. actually in our own bodies. Sometimes we can emote with the mask in the headspace too but like again, not in our bodies. Something about life in the headspace has to be extra expressive for us because we don't have an inner voice to hear each other.

So a lot of our communication is via images or emotions or thoughts. Unfortunately this leads to a lot of us also accidentally invading each other's memories but we've worked on controlling that better.

Also I get you. We're always told we talk too much. Marshmallow is.. he's always so stressed coming out from doing headspace stuff he fronts alone on purpose or with some of our more mute or semi verbal alters so he can have company but also sit in silence.

Dyslexia does make it harder to read for sure but I'm just excited to get an ask.

I have less suspicions about you now though so I'll tell you about the emoji and why I held off saying anything.

That emoji you sign off with has been the same emoji sitting in our discord status for quite some time.

I held off on telling you because awhile back a group of bullies tried to accuse us of being racist and supporting slavery despite no proof (what worried us was that people seemed to believe them anyway). All because we used Pluralkit on discord and they didn't like that. Yeah our attitude got a bit hostile and we became extremely on edge and our abusers kept trying to make themselves sound innocent like we shouldn't just assume they were being mean. And I doubted myself really bad, I kept wondering if we were just digging this hole but we also remember that it literally started with them attacking us.

There was even one instance where they tried to bait an alter of ours into flirting with a minor. It failed of course, not only because they were a minor and part of this group, but even if they were an adult we don't like our alters being sexualized and we most certainly aren't interested in our attackers, attacker's supporters or some random strangers we don't even know.

So I was wary that somehow you using this emoji meant that you were one of them. Not to mention you being a minor. Needless to say I'm still on edge since you're not opening up about your discord but those ARE your boundaries. And frankly we insist on always respecting boundaries.

Being a system is shitty and us being so open about it does unfortunately put a target on our back. But we look at it a few different ways. One, we show other potential systems whether or not this is a safe space to engage so they can decide from there. But two, most importantly for our sakes, we can find out who our real friends will be.

It's less exhausting than masking and coming forward about it and then all the "I don't understand why can't you be one person" "who was fronting the most" "okay so who's [username]" etc. or even them secretly starting to make fun of us behind our backs. Though that can happen either way.

[nyashykyunnie]

𝔸𝕝𝕓𝕖𝕕𝕠 x 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌! 𝙶𝚗! ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

A/N: This was actually a dream of mine((ONE OF THE BEST DREAMS I’V EVER HAD PLEASE)) and since I very much treasure this vivid dream- I’m turning it into a headcanon!!! I also had dreams about Xiao, Diluc and Childe! I might turn them into headcanons too! Anyway, Hope you guys enjoy reading!

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝔸𝕝𝕓𝕖𝕕𝕠˚���○˚ ୧ .˚

﹢　˖    　✦      ¸ .　﹢　 ° 　¸.    ° ˖ ･ ·̩　　 ｡　☆.     　﹢　˖    　✦      ¸ .

A very cool-headed person while the other is.... Constantly running around doing whatever and being a very VERY chaotic walking volcano.

Everyone found you and Albedo’s dynamic...Really interesting. It shocks them how he has so much patience with someone as reckless as you. 

How is he just be able to put up ith you? Who knows, the Chief Alchemist of the Knight of Favonius has his ways. 

Truth be told, Albedo himself didn’t even expect to fall in love with you. Maybe he started to fall for you when he was just constantly worried about you? Was that it? Maybe? 

The first time you met, he honestly got a little overwhelmed with your overflowing. It took him quite awhile

Love... Truly works in fascinaing ways.

But that doesn’t really matter now, does it? He loves you, that’s it. 

Albedo is always watching over you when he’s not drowning in his research. If he is in need to monitor you while doing his job, he sits you down in a corner just so you wont end up breaking anything.

However, there are times where he ignores his own experiments when you AND Klee are together. God forbid whatever might happen, the two of you together might just be the end of Monstadt.

One child who throws bombs and another crackhead. No, please, never EVER put them together unless Albedo is there.

Anyway, Albedo is actually very good in handling you. He knows just what to do to make you behave,“Y/N... I have work right now.” “But Bedo is always busy! I’m bored” “Settle down. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll entertain you later.”

Man does he keep his word, Albedo finishes whatever research he’s doing, cleans up and proceeds to where you are. 

Cuddling you is one of his few ways to calm your chaotic energy. His other hand is always at the back of you head, holding it softly. He sometimes even pulls it so you can rest further against him.

One part of you chaotic character is that you are very curious.

You’re always asking him a lot of questions, some are even ridiculous childish stuff. The Kreideprinz wll always answer, no matter how much your questions dont make any sense at all.

Well, he actually finds that part of you curious. He gets to go on brainrot sometimes when one of it actually hits a little different.

Nevertheless, Albedo appreciates your existence in his life. A day is never dull with you.

He even finds some of your unfortunate fails hilarious at some point, maybe he’ll tease you a bit about it if he’s in a really good mood.

“I find it really interesting how you are able to just get caught in such situations” He looks at you dumbfoundedly- Who is currenty tangled up in a rope and trapped. “How did you even got in this?”

“Fluffy boi this is not how you treat your lover who is currently suffering! STOP STANDING THERE DOING THAT POSE AND GET ME OUTTA HERE OR I’M GONNA BITE YOU!”

“Really? I doubt you can.”

“BEDOOOOOOOOO!”

He adores your shenanigans, it makes him forget his tiring days. makes him forget his darker side. Albedo just wants to be with you, no matter how much of a headache you can be.

Dealing with your messy person is better than him carrying the burden of his responsibilities and shadows alone.

“BEDOOOOO!” Albedo sighs, hearing your loud running steps come closer and closer. He felt the weight of your body plummet against his, he simply lifts you by your thighs and adjustinghis gip. “BEDOOO” “Mn?” Honestly, two weeks back both of you would actually be rolling on the ground. Thankfully he got used to your chaoticness that he is able to ctach you with ease now.  “So that thingy sitting on the ground. Does that have the particle sparkly thing you told me?” You tip your head curiously, your eyes beaming in cherubic innocence. 

“Y/N, no. It doesn’t work like that” He sighs softly, starting to walk while explaining to you what the difference is yet again.

Albedo talked for a good five minutes but was put to a halt when he realized that you weren’t sparking up questions in each sentence he spoke. The Kreideprinz got worried and look at you with a concerned look.

“Is something wrong? Are you hurt? Sick? Do you want me to take you back home?” His bright teal eyes even seemed to tremble a little.

“Nope, nope nope!” You giggle in delight before pecking your cute lover’s cheek.

Albedo blinked, dumbstruck at what just happened.

“It’s just that my fluffy boyfriend is just so cute I wanna kiss you all day!” You giggled in absolute deliht as you rubbed your cheeks together.

The blonde boy simply coughed in embarassment, lightly blushing.

“Well,...” He gulped. “Since you haven’t caused any havoc for a good streak of two days, you can do as you please.”

Hearing your boyfriend’s words, you jumped down and went in front of him. Tip toe-ing in absolute joy. “PROMISE? PROMISEE??? BEDO PROMISES?? NO BACKSIES??”

“Yes...” Albedo weakly nods and you jumped on him, wrapping your legs around his waist and peppering his face constant pecks and snuggles.

He smiled, firmly holding you in place and letting you adore him like this. 

He wished...He wished with all his heart... That days like this would last as long as it can. He wished that the day where he will lose control wont come so soon. Just a little bit more, let him cherish these moments you. Let him forget about that and just be happy. Let him bathe in your sunlight love. Please.

[mypimpademia]

Worth It.

Shinso x reader

TW: Swearing, reader steals a man, pure bad bitchery

Note: this concept has been in my head for literal MONTHS and now I'm finally writing it bc i had no idea how to before (i still dont know how to write it as I'm writing this, I'm bouta wing it like a mf)

I made Intelli the mean girl for this fic bc she a bitch fr

A college AU but its hardly relevant + a lil smau

Towards the end of writing this, I started hating it. I'm so sorry😭

I recommend this song too bc this is where the idea for this fic came from:

This was getting annoying to watch.

How long was Hitoshi planning to stay miserable with that girl?

Intelli and Hitoshi have been dating for awhile now. You had honestly never liked her, but you just barely tolerated her for Hitoshi. But only a few weeks into their relationship, things went to shit.

Intelli became overly controlling over him, and even tried to force him to stop being friends with you, and some other people. You, being his best friend, told him to break up with her.

Of course, Hitoshi agreed that it'd be best to do that. But not even a few hours after talking to him about it, he came back to say it didn't go as planned.

Intelli was holding blackmail over Hitoshi's head, and posed a huge threat to his dreams of becoming a hero. Most of what she said she'd expose was no where near true, but with her intellect she could easily make people believe it.

But frankly, as their relationship went on, the sight of even a strand of her hair made you want to either puke or fight her.

"Toshi~" Intelli cooed, coming up behind Hitoshi and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Hitoshi visibly cringed, but tried to hide it as best as he could.

"Hey, babe." He boredly muttered, doing a terrible job at faking any enthusiasm.

Unlike your best friend, you made no effort to hide the disgust you held for her sheer presence.

"Y/n..." Intelli muttered, her tone dripping with distaste for you, making you scoff. "Mind if I steal Toshi for a bit? No? Thanks-" She attempted to drag Hitoshi away by the arm, but you placed a firm hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"I do mind actually, we were in the middle of a conversation before you interrupted." You told her. She chuckled, before tugging on Hitoshi's arm more.

"Yes, but he's my boyfriend-" She attempted to give reason for her to take him away, before even Hitoshi stopped her.

"I've got a project I need Y/n to help me on, I can stop by your dorm later though?" Hitoshi suggested, lying through his teeth.

Intelli's eyebrow twitched, but she gave in, letting go of his arm. "Bye, Toshi." She said, kissing Hitoshi's cheek and looking you up and down, before walking off.

"Sometimes, I can't tell if she's just plain a bitch or if she's secretly a dumbass." You sighed. "Maybe she's a little bit of both..." Hitoshi chuckled, making you laugh with him.

"You really need to find someone new." You told him, shaking your head. "I know, but I'd rather not chance losing my dream career." He groaned.

"True... Whats your type anyways? I know its not Intell anymore, she's probably traumatized you." You giggled.

"She did, but I think my type is someone who can really understands me, and someone I can have fun with." Hitoshi said.

"Like a best friend?" You questioned him. "Yeah, exactly like a best friend. That'd be my perfect version of a s/o." He replied, expression growing soft.

Since Intelli and Hitoshi's relationship had gone down hill, you've been there for him more than ever. It eventually lead to this unspoken romance that constantly roamed between the two of you.

But because of Intelli, neither of you pursued it, for the wellbeing of Hitoshi.

"Well, if I were you, I'd find someone and just make sure the bitch doesn't find out." You told him. But if you were being honest, it was more like a suggestion, because he really did need, and deserve someone other than Intelli.

"Like cheating?" He gawked. You were both thinking the same thing— Intelli would likely find out. But it was better than simply being stuck with her, so you nodded.

"Well, I'd at least make sure the other person knows. But it'd be worth it."

'I'm worth it.' You thought.

You sighed, looking down at your phone, the time on your phone displayed.

"Shit, I've gotta get to class, we've got a guest lecturing us and my professor will tear me a new one if I miss it." You told him, stuffing your phone into your pocket.

"See you later?" Hitoshi asked you.

You were about to say something about how he told Intelli they'd hang out later, but decided against it.

"Yeah."

◇◇◇◇◇◇

You sighed, feeling your tired feet throb as you walked down the hall to Hitoshi's dorm. Taking one of your backpack straps off your shoulder, you began rummaging around the pocket where you usually kept the spare key to Hitoshi's dorm.

You blinked, as you weren't able to find the key in the small pocket. You began searching your entire bag in the middle of the hallway, taking nearly everything out.

"Shit." You mumbled, thinking you had lost it.

Then you remembered, 'Thats right, I was in a rush this morning. Its on my desk.' You thought to yourself.

Like hell you were going all the way back there though.

You placed your items back into their bags, then pulled out your phone to text Hitoshi.

You hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels as you waited for the door to be opened.

A moment later, you heard the lock click, and the door swung open.

Hitoshi looked you up and down before smiling. Then looked both ways of the hall, before tugging you into the room and shutting the door.

"Why are you treating me like a side piece or something?" You questioned him.

He hummed in confusion as he locked the door.

"Does it feel like that? Sorry." He apologized. "What did she do this time?" You asked, referring to Intelli, as she wash the only person the put Hitoshi this on edge.

"She said if we were doing anything other than a project we'd break up, and you know what that means." He told you, shaking his head.

You hummed, and pulled out your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked, peering over your shoulder.

"You'll see." You blunty told him.

You sent your message, and tossed your phone onto his bed.

You grabbed onto Hitoshi's collar, tugging him towards you so he was looking you in the eyes, making his breath hitch as his face tinted red.

"You're crazy if you think I'd get you snitched on." You playfully consoled.

"What did you do?" He questioned again, watching you flop down on his bed as you kicked off your shoes.

"I texted Monoma and Momo to post about a project on private snap that only has Intelli on it so that it'll be more believable." You told him.

Hitoshis eyes went wide, as he mentally questioned how you came up with that so fast.

You patted the space next to you, beckoning him to sit with you.

He sat down, shaking his head and laughing.

You and Hitoshi talked for hours and hours, but it each flew by. When you finally checked the time, you barely had enough time left before dorm visiting hours were over.

"What? Already?" Hitoshi gaped, as he watched you sling your backpack over your shoulder.

"Mhm." You hummed.

He groaned, clearly not wanting you to leave, but sat up anyways so he could come see you out.

Hitoshi unlocked the door for you, but upon opening the door, you were both met with an unwanted sight.

"Hey Toshi!" Intelli greeted, completely passing over you even though she saw you.

"H-hey, Intelli." Hitoshi spurred, trying to keep composure.

"I came to help on the project. Even Momo was complaining, so I thought you could use some help." She offered, clearly not convinced that there was actually a project.

But like you said, you weren't going to let him get caught.

"No, we finished it." You told her bluntly, folding your arms across your chest.

But clearly, Intelli didn't plan on letting up either.

"Well then, I could proof read the written portion." She insisted, taking a step towards you.

"We already did that already."

"Well I'm sure there are some mistakes."

"We triple checked."

Hitoshi looked back and forth between the two of you, silently preparing himself to break up a fight.

"You must not get what I mean—" Intelli straightened her posture more than it already was, and leaned towards you. "There's probably mistakes because it was you helping him." She mocked.

Hitoshi already had a hand reaching for your waist, ready to pull you back in a situation where you lunge at Intelli.

"You wanna talk about mistakes? How about we start with you, bit-" Before you could take a single step towards her, you were being pulled back by your waist.

"Watch your dog, Hitoshi." Intelli retorted.

Damn, was she lucky Hitoshi could hold you back.

"At least I bite, unlike some people." You shot back. She narrowed her eyes, leaning towards you again.

"Y'know Y/n, you're not as good as everyone thinks you are. Everyone thinks you're so great, and nice, but I know how you really are." She said.

"You only think that because everyone's not you. Its no goddamn wonder your blackmail folder is thicker than you." You hissed.

Intelli, clearly flustered that you even knew about her blackmail folder, stood straight again. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat slightly.

"You think youre so much better than me. A better person, a better best friend, you probably think you'd make a better girlfriend too, right?" She asked you.

"Of course I do, who the hell wouldn't?" You chuckled.

You felt Hitoshi's grip on your waist loosen. Either he was getting just as angry and was going to let you fight her, or he thought it the tension was thawing.

"Alright, since you're so much better than me, show me." Intelli insisted.

You smirked. "Alright, you asked for it."

Slipping out of Hitoshi's grip, you turned to face him.

His brows raised in surprise and confusion. And next thing he knew, you had him by the collar for the second time today.

But this time, your lips were pressed against his.

It took him a moment to process, but soon, he melted into it. Moving in sync with you, he placed his hands back on your waist.

As much as you wanted to continue, you still had to tell that bitch off.

Pulling away from Hitoshi, wiping away the string of saliva that connected your mouths, you turned back to Intelli.

You walked straight up to her, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Toshi doesn't react like that when you kiss him, does he?" You hummed, hearing Intelli audibly gulp.

"Like you said, I'm a better person, a better best friend, and a better girlfriend." You repeated her words from earlier.

"I wouldn't lie to him, expose him, whether what he did was true or false, and i wouldn't hold him back from doing what he wants." You taunted.

"And the thing is—" You leaned in, next to her ear.

"I dont think it, I know it."

"I'm perfect for him." You whispered to her.

Intelli nearly toppled over in defeat, leaning against the nearest wall to support her body.

"Anyways, see you tomorrow, Toshi." You mused, before walking away.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The next day, you met up with Hitoshi in your free time like usual.

You were aimlessly walking around campus, talking about random topics, laughing as you watched random people do stupid things, and just having fun.

Except now, you were hand in hand, and the air around the two of you seemed lighter. And the look of adoration you and Hitoshi shared was more evident.

But in the middle of it, of course, something had to happen.

Intelli had stopped you both in your tracks, her brainless groupies behind her.

"Did you know everyone is talking about you, Hitoshi? And with all the things they're saying... you might not be able to recover from it." She said snarkily.

"Not too worried about it actually." Hitoshi admitted, a slightly bored tone to his voice.

"Tch, well you should be. So tell me, was she worth it, Hitoshi?" She inclined.

Hitoshi looked over at you, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hell yeah."

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Pink Chains

Punk! Kyotani x Bubbly F! reader. Aka my favorite cliche trope. It lives in my head every second of the day.

This is the FIRST HALF because its too much words to fit in one post ! :(

Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment. 

“Excuse me sir? Do you have a fitting room?”

He blinks finally realizing you are in front of him looking a little huffy, bunching up your cheeks waiting for his answer. Kyo rubs the back of his neck showing off his wolf sleeve to you along with his tone muscles after playing volleyball in highschool. He points with his chin towards the left. “In the back” he tells you. The smile you give him just about melts his fucking heart

***

Oikawa can be heard having a stroke pretty much in the background and a loud slap making him shut up. Kyo shows you where the fitting room is and its more like a room with a curtain on it . You skip past him going in and before you close the curtain you smile at him again.

“Dont leave! I want a second opinion, okay?!?” The curtain whipped closed.

Kyo looked over at his friends and Iwazuimi just nodded fast while Oikawa gave him a thumbs up. Kyo rolled his eyes looking down at his clothes while he waited. A black shirt with a wolf on it , black jeans with rips in them , chains hanging around his pockets and tan boots . He rubs his volleyball tattoo and glances at his sleeve thinking for a minute. Not once had he seen someone like you in his store, even on his day off his friends would text him if such a thing ever happened. So what exactly were you doing?

You flipped your dress over the curtain and Kyos eyes immediately caught it. He looked over his arm and the two were trying not to panic. When he looked back you peeked out from the curtain smiling.

“Ok ready? Be honest ok?”

“...sure..”

you moved the curtain and posed for him. “So?”

It was wonderful, the skirt the shirt the way they fit perfectly on you , the colors looked great on you too even if the shirt was a mix of dark colors and the skirt was red. Kyo gulped taking it in, god he hoped you would be a regular after this.

“Its perfect sweetie.” He said , eyes wide in disbelief.

“Ee really?!?”

“ yes.”

You giggled closing the curtain again and pulled your dress down. Kyo looked over his shoulder again and Iwazuimi had his head on the register and Oikawa was just giving him a thumbs up.

You skipped outta the dressing room holding the items and giving Kyo a smile . “Ill take em !” You told him full of eagerness.

“Okay okay.” He motioned for you to follow him to the register , giving his friends a look till they moved. Kyo went around the desk and rang up the stuff abd of course Oikawa had to say something.

“Never seen a cutie like you before in here!”

Kyo looked over at him and Iwazuimi pulled him away. “I just remembered a shipment came in”

“Iwa-chaaaan”

It was just you and him now. Kyo had no idea what to say to you , fuck he really was awful with girls. He placed the bag on the register and you took it from him , your fingers touching his knuckles and rings for a second. Kyo rubbed his knuckles with his free hand not looking at you.

“Thank you!”

“Uh huh. Anytime.”

He was waiting for the bell on the door to go off, signalling that you left but it never came. Kyo was getting slightly annoyed, not at you but himself. He cant even make conversation.

“I like your tattoo!!!”

He blinked looking over at you to see you pointing to his wolf sleeve. “Its so pretty!!”

“Thank you.”

“Uhm i know people dont like their tattoos touched but i wanted to tell you its pretty.”

“.....you can touch it…” good, cmon Kyo… “i dont mind.” He held his arm out.

“Really?!?” Her hands hovered over it and Kyo nodded slowly.

Slowly you placed your hands on his arm on the first wolf. Kyos hand was in a fist he was so nervous , no female had ever asked to touch his ink before let alone talk to him . You were so soft, feeling your fingers glide over his wolves was the best thing he felt in a long time. It was almost as satisfying as spiking the ball.

“All so pretty!!” You ran your hands up while you spoke. “I want one but im so nervous!!!”

He couldn't help but smile at that. “Oh yeah? Of what?”

“Mm!! I love red pandas.. they are just so cute and tiny !! But also kittens are cute.. “ you stopped at the biggest wolf on his upper arm. He felt you squeeze his muscle.

“Red pandas and kittens would be cool” he told you , trying to flex his arm without you noticing.

“Mmm!!! But the red pandas… they are so fuzzy . And im a little scared of the pain.” Squeeze squeeze.

“It only hurts for a little while.” His face felt red and his hand was no longer a fist. “Maybe i can go with you if you decide to do it. My guy did all my ink.”

You jumped and squeezed for a minute before letting go. “REALLY?!? I . Well uh, youll be there if i get scared ?”

Kyo gave you a smug smile as he rubbed his sleve. “Yeah yeah, you can squeeze my hand if you get scared or it hurts too much.”

“Ah yay!!” You pulled your phone outta your bag and handed it to him. It took him a second to realize what you wanted. Kyo put his number in and you took the phone back giggling.

“Kyo! Okay! Ill see you tonight!!!” You waved goodbye leaving the store and Iwa and Kawa ran over tackling Kyo to the ground .

They teased him till he got fed up and pushed them off . They all sat on the floor just taking in the moment. The look on Iwas face was perfect, he was so proud of his friend and Kawa was too but also he wanted to make jokes . Kyo leaned on the register just staring at his rings with a smile. His phone buzzed a minute later and as soon as he read the text his heart fluttered.

“Hi!! Its y/n! Im so excited for you to with me! Ill meet you outside your shop kay?!? ✨✨✨✨✨”

He smiled and replied back.

“Okay sweetie.”

***

Safe to say Kyo was on edge all day , thank god Iwazuimi was there to help customers whenever Kyo shut down and just had that angry look on his face. Oikawa was stuck on stock duty even though he finished a half hour ago . Kyo just gave him odd jobs till he had enough.

Oikawa went over to the register leaning down on it to see Kyo staring at his phone at the text , he shot Oikawa a look and he just had a smug look on his face.

“Is the summer line out …”

“Yep. Did that about two hours ago.”

“Well go fold something.”

“How about you tell me how this girl has you all messed up Mad Dog.”

Kyo looked up, putting his phone down standing up , he grabbed Oikawas shirt and the smug boy put his hands up grinning.

“Its okay to be nervous Mad Dog.”

“Im not...nervous.”

Iwazuimi looked over and hurried to his friends pulling Oikawa back. “Knock it off.” He told him.

“Iwa-chan tell him he cant see this girl if hes gonna get all angry and pouty.”

Iwazuimi leaned onto the register thinking it over, Oikawa was right , as much as he hated admitting it . “Kyo..shitty Kawa is right.”

Kyo turned to his friend and Oikawa walked away feeling accomplished.

“I know she was super happy and bubbly and you were all closed off in the beginning but you let her touch your ink. You have never let anyone touch your ink before. Your not who you were in highschool Kyotani, dont scare her off .”

He leaned on the register looking at the rings on his hands . “I really fucked myself with that attitude i had didint i, im lucky the Sendai Frogs even picked me up when they did.”

“Remember how annoying it was to hear those girls scream whenever Oikawa served the ball?”

“Mhm.”

“Its your chance to stick it too him , that girl paid no attention to him. And she looked really interested in you. Just calm down and breathe.”

Kyo looked over his shoulder to see Oikawa chatting up a punk girl who was not interested. Iwazuimi stretched while he watched. “This isn't his element anymore. Its yours Kyo.”

He rubbed his tattoo taking in a deep breath. “Damn right it is.”

••

8 o clock finally came and Kyo was still inside writing down the weekly income while Iwa and Kawa locked everything up. Business should pick up soon with his new summer line , he was looking forward to the extra money but not the longer shifts. Iwa and Kawa went over to the desk and Iwazuimi took the key from Kyos hand.

“Excuse you.” He said looking up.

“Your dates here.” Kawa said looking over his shoulder.

Kyo got up looking over Kawa to see you outside the door holding a pink shoulder bag . She really showed up..

“We will finish the records” Iwa told him

“Iwa will finish them” Kawa said

Iwazuimi grabbed his shirt preventing him from leaving. “We, will finish the records.”

“Ugnnn…”

“Lock up after.” Kyo grabbed his jacket putting it on , it was light blue with zippers all over it.

Kyo opened the door feeling his heart in his throat, he was nervous but he could do this. What was he so afraid of ?

You turned around hearing the bell and gave Kyo a big hug and a smile. “Hi Kyo!!!”

Oh fuck.

He lightly put his arm around you and you jumped back smiling . “Ready?”

“Y..yep. Yes. My guy does great work.” He said walking with you.

“Whats he like?!?” You asked walking with him happily.”

“Mmm well, hes nice . Likes to sit in his shop all day. Bit of a wise ass.” He looked down to see you looking at his sleeve again. You glanced up and jumped .

“Sorry!! “

“Dont be, i think you love it as much as i do .”

“Ive always liked wolves but everyone told me they were too scary for me to like.”

Kyo smirked walking closer . “Oh yeah? They aren't all bad.”

“I know!” You poked at his arm. “You are really cool so that just proves they arent all bad.”

It took him a minute to register what you said .”i'm flattered sweetie.”

“Tell me about you!”

“Mm..” Kyo rubbed his sleeve, giving everyone they passed the death glare. “I played volleyball in highschool, those guys at my shop played too on the team. I got picked up by the Sendai Frogs for a bit but after awhile i wanted something calmer”

You stopped walking and Kyo stopped looking back to see you with big eyes. “Whats.. wrong?”

“You did professional volleyball?!?”

“Yep. But i wanted to design things , and Oikawa and Iwazuimi came along with me. My tattoo guy was on our highschool team too.”

“Thats.. AMAZING.” You grabbed his arm following him going on and on asking about being a professional and what it was like.”

Kyo felt really nice inside, he even told you about his attitude in highschool and you just thought it was so silly . “What?!? But your so nice and calm now!”

Safe to say his heart grew after hearing that. He squeezed your hand and let go to open the door to the tattoo shop.

“Thank you sweetie, were here.”

••

The tattoo shop had music blaring as soon as Kyo opened the door making you blink a few hundred times.

“Oi Mattsun!! where are you.” Kyo said, lightly pushing you inside so he could close the door. You found yourself clinging to Kyos arm looking all around trying to adjust to the music and this very bright room . It had art Everywhere. Posters, free hand, digital, tattoos, everything. You could not tell what color the walls were. In the center was the stations with a desk to the left when you walked in and a waiting area in the corner on the right.

“Oi!!!!”

“Shaddup! Your ruining the best part!!!”

You looked up at Kyo watching him yell with a huge smile on his face.

“OI!!!!”

“KYOTANI I SWEAR ILL FUCK YOU UP IF YOU DONT-... oh my”

The music cut off and a tall man appeared from the other side of the desk . He was covered in tattoos from neck to ankles. Very spiky black hair and a lip ring with ear piercings . He had on loose shorts and black Vans with his tattoo shops shirt on. He made his way around the desk looking you over then giving Kyo a look.

“Who's this?”

Before Kyo could speak you let go of his arm and jumped in front of him. “Im y/n! Id like a tattoo please!”

Mattsun folded his arms smirking and looked over you to Kyo who was half smirking half trying to figure out why the hell you did that.

“ shes with me Mattsun, “

“Alright alright.” He put his hands uo turning his music back on but at a more bearable level and brought you to his station with a sketchbook. You sat down fixing your dress and Kyo took your bag to hold it . Mattsun snapped a picture and Kyo grabbed his shirt.

“Dont.”

“Too late.! Cant wait for Oikawa to see”

“Fuck you Mattsun”

“Uhm..”

They both looked at you and Mattsun chuckled, swatting Kyos hand away and scooted closer to you in his wheely chair . “Okay Y/n , what would you like hmm?”

“Uhm.. a red panda!”

Mattsun looked at Kyo and then you then Kyo then the art on his walls then Kyo again.

“ what did you bring me.”

Kyo was leaning forward in his wheely chair moving back and forth looking very satisfied with this situation. “I mean if you cant do it ill go to 13 Tattoos down the street”

“Fuck you Kyotani you step one foot in that shop and im never inking you again”

You poked Kyos arm and he looked over at you .

“Uhm.. kyo.”

“Yes sweetie?”

“Youll hold my hand right i..”

Mattsun saw Kyo get flustered for a second and chuckled into his sketchbook while he drew a red panda. Good for you Mad Dog.

Kyo looked down at her hand, he was hesitating. He just needed to grab it. What was he doing? She likes you Mad Dog . His arm inched forward and you placed your hand in his , god the clash with his sleeve and your skin was the best thing hes ever seen. So innocent, fragile, excited. And he was loud, lashed out, swore, pushed buttons… god he loved it.

“Y/n hows this look?” He turned the sketchbook around and you looked along with Kyo.

It was in fact a red panda up on its back legs with its little paws in the air with a happy face and some hearts around it.

“Is SO CUTE !! Kyo kyo look!!!”

“I see it sweetie.” He couldn't help but laugh at the little panda and Mattsun. “Its cute, Mattsun”

“Of course!” He set the sketchbook down and got his gear ready. “Im happy you like it y/n, where would you like it?”

“Oh oh! My arm please the inside a little above my elbow ?”

He smiled scooting closer . “Okay, hold it out for me y/n”

You held out your arm and rubbed Kyos hand with your thumb, he jumped in his skin looking down at you but you were focused on Mattsun drawing the panda on you. He lightly rubbed back on your hand enjoying how soft your skin felt against his thumb.

Mattsun peeled the paper away and picked up his tool, turning it on. “Ready?”

“Yes!..”

“Hold still for me y/n” he leaned forward and started on the outline on your skin.

It hurt, oh it hurt.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You can do this y/n

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Still got my art on the wall huh?”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Why wouldn't i? Hows Kawa and Iwa?”

Zzzzz…..

“Same as always. You should see Oikawa strike out at work Mattsun”

Zzzzzzzz…. it was getting hard to keep a straight face..

“That sounds hilarious is he still complaining over the skinny jeans?”

Zzzzz...z.z.z..zzzzz

“God yeah.”

“Ky..kyo..”

he looked up from the tattoo to see you on the verge of tears, you kept looking down and trying to fidget but Mattsun had a firm grip on you. “Stay still for me y/n okay? Don't move”He glanced at Kyo and leaned back to change ink colors then started on coloring.

“Kyo..-“

He reached up with his free hand to cup your cheek and turn your head so you could see him. “Look at me.”

“K..”

“ sshh.. just focus on me okay? Tell me why you like red pandas .”

“ they.. are fuzzy.. i love fuzzy stuff.. and they are troublemakers getting into.. all sorts of things..”

He lightly ran his thumb under your eye getting rid of a tear .

“Dont..dont let go of my hand..”

“I wont Sweetie. What else do you like about them “

“Doing great Y/n, almost done”

“Uhm.. they.. i love red. Its my favorite color. And they like to flop around and tackle each other.. I heard a zoo nearby has them but.. i dont know where.``

“Miyagi zoo, would you like to go sweetie?”

“Y-yes i..” your eyes wandered away from Kyo and he brought you back to him gently.

“Ssh , look at me. Just me remember?”

“Just.. you.”

“Yes sweetie. Youre doing so good.”

“Done.” He wiped the panda a few times and scooted back taking a picture with his phone. “My apprentice is gonna have a stroke. Okay y/n if you wanna go look my mirror is right over by the wall”

Kyo helped you up and wiped under both of your eyes with his thumbs and you smiled up at him holding yourself. “I..i did it..” you choked out a giggle.

“Yes you did. Go take a look .” Kyo told you and let you go. He watched you make your way to the mirror and Mattsun yanked him over to his desk getting behind it to record the order in the laptop. They were quiet for a second .

Mattsun looked up at Kyo, he was leaning on the desk with his arms up on it.

“How the fuck did you meet her”

“She came into my store, Mattsun. Do you see her?”

“Did she buy ANYTHING?”

“She bought the plaid red skirt and the kitten guitar shirt”

“What the fuck Kyotani.”

“Ask Iwa and Oikawa, they could not keep it together.”

Mattsun took his phone out texting Oikawa.

“I let her touch my sleeve, Mattsun”

His friend dropped his phone looking up at this hard and angry punk guy staring at him.

“She told me she thought it was pretty and I let her touch it, every wolf.”

“I did the ink and i can't even touch it”

“Shes just.. i don't even know Mattsun. Shes different.”

“From your usual? Uh yeah i'd say so.”

“ i wanna hold onto her, but i dont know how, im scared ill.. scare her off.”

“Dont be gettin all sentimental on me Mad Dog, if she didint run off from my music, your swearing or your store shes not gonna run off now, she was going to have a panic attack in my damn chair if you didint calm her down.”

“Shut up, im not sentimental.. she was gonna .. cry.”

“God..”

“Fuck you, how much is the tattoo”

“$40 because im feeling nice and its about time you had a girl interested in you”

Kyo took his wallet out and put the money on the desk, “keep the change”

“Oh what a baller.” He teased taking the money and coming around to shove his friend. “Good to see you, lets all get together soon for some beach volleyball “

“Yeah yeah, and fine. But you call everyone , “

“Killjoy.”

You skipped over hugging Kyos sleeve and showing him your panda and thanking Mattsun over and over.

“Of course y/n , happy you like it.” He pat your head.

••

Kyo said his goodbyes and was walking down the street with you , it was 9 at night now and he did not want to leave yet.. you were still hugging his sleeve not talking much .

“Hey..”

“Yes kyo?”

“You told me your name and i've still been calling you sweetie, why haven't you said anything? “

You let go of his arm skipping in front of him smiling. “Well, i like it. Its cute to hear you say it..”

He smirked, rubbing his head trying not to look at you. “Will you laugh if i say i don't want to leave yet.”

You shyly took his hand holding it. “No, I wont. I uhm.. i have class in the morning but.. do you want to spend the night? N-not for uh .. uhm.. i mean.. i.. uh.”

Kyo laughed pulling his hand back bringing you with it, he wrapped his other arm around you. “That sounds nice sweetie, id love too.”

“Yay!! Youll get to meet Mocha!!!”

“Mocha?”

“My kitten!!!”

He sighed down at you giving you a hug and you squeezed him. “Thank you.. for calming me down …”

“Of course. You did great sweetie.”

You giggled, swaying a bit. “Ahh easy my arm kinda hurts heh..”

“Oh right, it will be tender for a week or so.” He held you close keepin an eye on your arm. “You did great , you really did.”

You nuzzled into his chest feeling full of bliss . “Thank you Kyo.”

••

@zoppzoop

@nekxrizawa, @kyovtani thought you would enjoy this !

[simpsiren]

my book

jaemin x reader

“you’re my book. my special, unique book.”

main masterlist

description. you talk about the moments you spent with jaemin that made you start to think that you like him more than a friend.

genre. close friends to lovers au, lot lot of fluff. angst

warnings. nonee

a/n. i got this dea from watching a drama soo enjoy! its just very short and simple fluff HAHA

“where’s he now?”

“what?”

“where’s that idiot?”

you click your tongue and shake your head, laughing to yourself softly. your action earned a raised brow from jaemin. “he went abroad with another girl. life’s depressing, isn’t it?”

you chug down another whole cup of beer. jaemin sighs and grabs your hand, releasing the now empty cup from your grip. “you’re dumb too for letting it slide.” 

you whine as jaemin takes the cup away from you. you’re cheeks blushed a soft pink. you look down at the table before bringing your eyes up to jaemin’s. jaemin looks back at you and frowns. “you keep dating such bad guys. why do you keep doing it?” jaemin’s whispers as he notice you closing your eyes. 

jaemin lifts his hand up to your head to stroke your hair, biting his lower lip. “if ending up like you is what love is, id rather not fall in love at all.” your breathing became slow and steady. you were already worn out from ranting to jaemin about your ex. you gave up on getting mad. all you wanted was to lean on jaemin’s shoulder, and he lets you do it with open arms.

jaemin observes your face, from your closed lids, to your nose, and lastly your lips. he admired every inch of your face. and that’s the only thing he could do, nothing more. “but you’re the only exception.” jaemin says, thinking that you’re fast asleep and you wouldnt hear a hint of his true feelings for you. 

wrong. you heard him say that. you didnt know why, but your heart felt something different. whenever jaemin says he loves you, in any way and form, you only thought he meant it as a friend. so why is today any different? you and jaemin have been friends for years and actions like these were normal, right?

you flipped to the next page of the book you were reading, glazing your eyes over every word meticulously. you were too concentrated in the book that you didnt notice jaemin standing behind you. before your arm reached out to open the fridge, you felt a set of arms wrapping around your waist. you turned your head to see jaemin resting his head on your shoulder with a soft smile on his face. “another romance book?” you nod your head in response.

jaemin’s grip on your waist grows tighter, pulling your back closer to chest. “you know you could let me make the romance novel come to life.” jaemin chuckles as you froze in your spot. what did he just- jaemin releases one of his arms off your waist and opens the fridge, grabbing a bottle of fruit juice. 

“dont be so stupid. as if thatll come true.” you scoff to hide your embarrassed and shock expression. “i see you blushing, and your ears turning red. you cant hide it, now can you?” jaemin chuckles and lets his other hand off your waist, leaving the kitchen. you gape your mouth in disbelief, letting out a long sigh before touching you cheek with your hand, realising your face feels hot. you’re definitely blushing, and you did a bad job at hiding your expressions. 

you took another sip of wine, you give jaemin your empty cup for jaemin to pour more wine into your glass. jaemin bits his lower lip as he does what you want. he knows youre already very drunk. he starts to prepare himself for the worse. you two were drinking at home. but you were unique when it came to getting drunk. you did many embarrassing things while drunk. only jaemin knew that.

“you know, you’re like.. a book.” jaemin tilts his head, confused. “what do you mean?” you hear jaemin ask. your lips form a pout. it only made jaemin smile from your cuteness. 

“you know.. a book. if i read a book and i like it, ill read it whenever im sad, happy, stressed. it made me feel better regardless of my mood.” jaemin nods in response, allowing you to keep talking. 

“but recently, it felt like the book changed. i see new terms in the book that ive never heard of, i cant describe it either. i also see sentences which ive completely missed despite reading it over thousands of times, i know the book so well that i memorised my favourite lines. yet why didnt i see those words and sentences before?” you laugh to yourself. jaemin raises his eyebrow. it took him awhile to process what he say. since he didnt understand your interpretation, he asks to talk more about the book that somehow represented him. 

“i dont know.. the contents of the book cant change. i guess its me, my heart that changed. my heart changed for you, na jaemin. i started seeing things i never did in you before, and i suddenly have the urge to know more.”

jaemin scoffs with a wide smile. he rubs his face while reaching his other hand to cup cheek. he stares at your face again. he cant stop thinking at how you could still be pretty while being this drunk and worn out. “yeongi, say that you like me.” he whispers, leaning in slowly. it made you blink a few times at him as you realise just how close you were to his face to the point where your lips just barely brushed his. “im scared to say it.” you whisper back, closing you eyes for a moment before opening them up and making eye contact with jaemin.

“i told you before, didnt i? ill be your home. you can come to me whatever the situation. ill make you happy. and if i dont, ill find and do things that will. i wont be like those shitty guys you dated.”

“you sure?”

“i promise.” 

“thats not enough.” jaemin sighs with a soft smile. “how can i convince you then?”

you kept silent for awhile as jaemin patiently waits for your answer. 

“say that youre my book. my special and unique book. a book made just for me.”

jaemin chuckles quietly. “im your special and unique book that made just for you.”

slowly but surely, you lean in to kiss his lips. it took jaemin no hesitation to kiss you back, with full passion.

[shibarirobot]

Aizawa fic - CH 5 - Entrapment

 18+ ONLY! SFW (for now)

Shouta Aizawa x Villian!OC/Reader(?)

CH1

CH4

Okay this chapter kinda fucked me up. I got very emo while writing this lmfaoooo, but again sooooooo sorry that I’m so inconsistent, I care about this story and I want it to actually be good before I post ((also I have the shittiest laptop on the face of the planet so I can barely use it)) more like I just dont have the patience to deal with it XD, mais oui! le chapter is done! Please enjoy! x

-

The chair I’m strapped to is stiff and uncomfortable at my back. I haven't been able to move for awhile and it’s driving me fucking insane. My back aches, my thighs are sore, I can literally feel my pelvic bone, not to even mention the cracked rib still throbbing and I’ve started to remember the broken nose I gave myself. It’s hard enough to keep my head on straight, I can’t really seem to focus on the questions I’m being asked, let alone my answers. I’ve been here for hours, maybe days. I have no clue. I have absolutely no fucking clue. This dumbass, Detective Aiko just comes and goes, sometimes followed by a short man with a clipboard and glasses. He just asks a few questions and leaves, I’ve lost track of how many times he’s entered and left as quickly as he comes. This time he comes in dragging another metal chair and flips it around on the other side of the table, sitting on it backwards, like he thinks he’s fucking cool or something. He’s large, I’ll give him that. His thighs swallow up the chair easily and I’m surprised he can actually sit on the thing.

I look at him with my tired eyes. We’ve been at this too long, I’m so fucking tired and I can hardly hold his eye contact. My lips are so unbearably chapped they feel like they might split open at any moment, they might have actually, I can taste iron. I’m parched. My mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. I’m about to crack, I can feel it. “Water.” My voice is tiny at this point, crackly from the dehydration. “I need water.” My eyes start to sag and I press forward slightly, straining against the straps on my torso, skin raw beneath them after so much of my writhing.

Detective Aiko blinks at me from across the table and reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He easily taps one forward and plucks it from the box between his lips. I can tell it’s a practiced movement, he does it without thinking. His habit has become muscle memory. He shoves the pack into his pocket again and retrieves a zippo lighter. If I was more conscious I probably would have rolled my eyes, if it didn’t feel like they might fall out of my head if I did. Of course he has a zippo, ugh. It’s like he learned how to be a cop from watching cheesy cop movies. He flicks it open and closed in a split second and the cigarette is lit. He takes a deep breath, sucking down the entire thing, inhaling so deeply that his chest puffs and swells almost double. He holds that breath for a long moment, releasing it slowly. I expect the smell of burnt tobacco, but there is none. The smoke pours from his nostrils in thick swirls, but it dissipates quickly, without a single trace that it had once been there.

I can see his eyes go glassy from the nicotine high, his shrouded eyes have barely left me. He stares at me like I’m a caged panther; cunning, dangerous, volatile. All things I might have been if I could possibly think straight. “You’ll get your water after you cooperate.” He shifts in the chair slightly, flicking the used cigarette butt to the side. It falls to the ground unceremoniously and I can only imagine how often he flings those things haphazardly and how many thousands he has personally littered into our environment. I’m instantly seething again. A moment ago, I had no capacity for anything really, and now I’m filled head to toe with rage towards this stupid fucking cop. This man withholding my fucking water, my fucking life source.

The thought that he’s actually killing me passes and I pull at the cuffs around my wrists. “Fucking water.” The chains scrape across the table and I can feel the blood on my mouth, my lips have definitely cracked in multiple spots, blood pooling between my teeth. “I fucking need water!” Now I’m just shaking the chains, trying to make enough noise to get him to give in, annoy him into submission. “Water!” His eyebrow twitches, he seemingly has a very short tolerance for my behavior now, no longer amused by my sass and antics.

He quickly rises from the chair and kicks it to the side, it goes clattering against the wall and loudly falls to the ground, tipped on its side. The sudden jolt silences me and the room is tense with the lack of sound. “Who do you work for?!” He yells at me, full chested. The same question Eraser Head asked me in the alley. Where my allegiances lie. There’s another moment of silence before I bust into intense, manic laughter. They still really think I work for someone?

My throat threatens to give out on me, but I can’t control the laughter. “Me, motherfucker!” I shout back, only not as full, my voice is dying quickly, my laughter soon falling with it, replaced by a hacking cough that I’m pretty sure just shredded the dry skin inside my very dry throat. That doesn’t really seem to satisfy him though. He just grunts and picks the chair back up, setting it upright, but not sitting down in it like before. He just stands there, so tall and trying to be intimidating.

He crosses his arms over his chest and scoffs at me just once. “So we’re gonna keep playing this game, huh?” He pulls out another cigarette and huffs it down just as quickly as the first, barely even savoring the drag. His eyes close and he shrugs. “I guess you don’t want that water.” He quickly strides out of the room, leaving me alone and tortured. I can’t move, my body is giving out, I can’t speak because of my hoarse, abused throat, I can’t do anything at all, but sit here. My mind flashes back to when I felt this way before, tied to a dining chair in front of my drunk birther. My eyes start to water and I am amazed that I even have the moisture left in my body to cry. The parallels are too similar and I can feel myself reverting back, the whimpering that’s beginning in the back of my throat. A couple tears start to fall and I’m slowly slipping into that mindset when I hear the door open again.

I try my best to harden my face, trying to mask the depravity that I had just been wallowing in, refusing to make eye contact with Detective Aiko as he rounds the table again and sits in that chair. He sets something on the table and I’m surprised when I look up, to see Eraser Head sitting in that chair across from me instead. There’s a water bottle on the table and I honestly have nothing to say. I’m overwhelmed by this change of events and the tears come faster now, silently streaming down my face. I feel so vulnerable and this man that I have only prodded and teased is the one here to help me. It’s like the universe is laughing at me, it feels like a trick, but one I’m knowingly and willingly letting myself fall into. I suck in a deep breath, hoping he won’t say anything about my tears. “They haven’t cleaned you up at all, have they?” His voice is low, but he honestly sounds concerned. I lamely shake my head, unable to tell him that I’ve been sitting strapped to this chair since the moment he left. He grunts shortly then stands, slowly grabbing the water bottle and cracking the lid open.

My tears lessen as I watch him, he’s looking at me like I’m a wounded animal and deep down I can’t blame him. All I’ve done since meeting him is lash out and hurt him. In spite of all that he reaches out to me slowly, the cold water bottle in one hand, the other gingerly gripping the side of my neck and tilting my head back. I look at him hesitantly. I’m just supposed to let him pour water into my mouth? That feels too weird, and intimate, and needy, but I can’t really pour the water into my own mouth, so I part my lips for him. He gently presses the rim of the water bottle onto my bottom lip, easing the cold, fresh water onto my sandpaper tongue. His fingertips graze the skin on my neck as the pad of his thumb softly wipes away my tears. It’s so gentle and intimate that I can’t help but cry harder. I’ve never felt such a sincere caress and it’s like my heart is breaking into a million pieces, astounded by the tenderness that I haven’t allowed myself to even realize I was missing. The silent resentment falling away for a moment and letting something new replace it. Adoration? Sympathy? Genuine gratitude?

I take in this new feeling hesitantly as I try to gulp down the water as quickly as he’s pouring it into my mouth. I relish in the feeling of the cool liquid on my tongue and into the back of my throat, soothing the burning I had endured for so long. The tears continue to fall even after the water bottle is empty and I realize his hand is still gently stroking my cheek in an attempt to calm my tears. He tosses the empty water bottle aside and peers down at me. I stare back up at him, my eyes starting to puff up from the tears I had just shed, cloudy with the residual moisture on my lashes. He’s even more beautiful now than ever before, caring for me so tenderly, and I think I understand now. I love him. I must love him. The way I was drawn to him before, it all makes sense. I’ve never felt anything like this before, no one has ever given me even a sliver of a second thought, but here he is. This man I don’t even know caring for a tortured criminal that’s done nothing, but awful things. It must be love. It must be... something at least.

I realize the moment’s been too long and I turn my gaze away, squeezing my eyes shut. I can’t help but feel embarrassed. Here he is helping me, giving me the water I so desperately needed and I can’t even choke out a ‘thank you’. Should I? Would he want me to? His hand falls away and I hear him start to shuffle to the door. Dammit. I’m breathing heavy, trying to catch my breath from the way I gulped down water like a dying horse. “I’m going to get a first aid kit.” I almost don’t hear him, but my eyes snap open. He’s coming back? To help me even more? Eraser Head is… going to tend my wounds… that I got fighting… HIM. This is all so bizarre and my head spins a little, but I can’t help the trace of a grin that tugs on my lips and the slight twinge of heat in my cheek.

I hear that knock on the door again, but before it opens I mumble out a small, drained. “Thank you.” My throat is still destroyed, but it’s enough that I hope he heard me. I guess I’ll never know if he did or even cared because the door opens and closes with no acknowledgment that I had said anything. Once again, I am left by myself, in this too bright room, strapped to a metal chair. As I sit here, it’s hard not to fall back into my miserable thoughts. Self loathing and what if’s come easily. What if that really was a trick? What if he’s never coming back? What if I just imagined the whole thing? What if he’s disgusted by me and just taking pity? I internally cringe at myself. That one is probably closest to the truth. He thinks of me like a charity case, someone who can’t help themselves. He’s a hero after all, that good ole savior complex will always rear it’s big, nasty head at some point. He’s helping me to make himself feel better, not to make me feel better. I sneer at myself. I almost fell into his trap, but no. I’m better than that. I was almost that dumb cunt I used to be, trusting people, needing others help. Fuck no. I promised myself I would never be that person again. I’m better now.

But then the indignation fades and all I’m left with is the reality of the situation. I do need his help. I’m broken and bleeding, strapped to a chair in an interrogation room. I start to cry again. It’s not a heavy cry, just one that makes you realize so much in such a short period of time. I cry as I realize I do need help. I need more help now than I’ve ever needed before. I’ve probably needed help this entire time and refused to see it, refused to ask for it. Asking for help never seemed like an option, it seemed like a burden. Yet, Eraser Head isn’t even offering me help, he’s giving it. Willingly. Of his own accord.

I continue to struggle with my thoughts on the situation far longer than I would deem necessary before I admit to myself it doesn’t matter because he’s simply not coming back. It’s been too long for him to have actually been going to get a first aid kit. He’s gone forever now. Poof. Might as well stop thinking about him. I can’t though. Can’t stop thinking about his perfect face, the way he touched my neck, the tenor of his voice, the scruff on his chin, the scar under his eye, the heat of his body behind mine. It all sends a thrill through me, but more than that, just a deep sense of longing. I yearn for him. I just want him to come back to me, I don’t care if he has the first aid kit he left for or not. I just want him to be present with me because everything just hurts less when he’s here. The open wounds mean nothing when he’s here. He’s the only reason any of my pain has ever been eased. I need him. I love him.

I start to allow fresh tears to fall, but my eyes are already welded shut from the fat tears I had shed earlier, too heavy to open and crusted over with dried tears because I still can’t wipe my eyes. The new ones gently come and allow me to crack open my eyes just slightly. I’m honestly on the brink of exhaustion, but my body has miraculously found a way to push forward. I’m taking a deep breath, trying to re-center myself. Get a grip on reality. Stretch my fingers and toes, get some feeling back in my aching body, crack my neck as best as I can. It’s not much, but it helps. I’m the only one that can do anything for me now. I start trying to survey the room to a closer extent than I had before, but honestly it’s still the same, too bright, all white room. I guess I can see a vent in the top right corner, but it’s too small for me to even think about escaping from. Not to mention, I can’t see a camera, so it must be in the corner behind me, watching, recording my every move. I grumble. There’s also the two way mirror, that I assume has had at least three people on the other side of it at all times. I’m completely under thumb.

I sigh, there’s not much I can do in this situation, and this dumb collar is still canceling my quirk. I’m chained up and defenseless. Fucking great. The door scrapes open again and I startled to see Eraser Head quickly invade the room, that wild look in his eyes again. The tips of his hair are flicking back and forth angrily, but not like it was before when he was erasing my quirk, more like… he’s just worked up. He’s breathing deeply, standing up straight and crossing his arms, a full 180 from his calm, gentle demeanor he had earlier. He’s actually quite intimidating like this and I start to shrink into myself, not knowing why his mood has changed. I didn’t do anything. He looks to the door and reaches out to flick his wrist in a ‘get the fuck over here’ motion. Detective Aiko comes into the room and unlocks my cuffs, releasing my arms from the table. He seems reluctant and I’m insanely confused by this sudden turn of events. My eyes are wide and I look to Eraser Head again, confusion evident on my twisted up face. “I’m taking you to the hospital. The collar will stay on and I will cuff you down when we get there.” He says it all so blankly and I’m even more confused that I was before he answered.

Detective Aiko doesn’t look up, he just grumbles out a gruff, ‘bad fucking idea’ before moving onto the straps at my torso, allowing me to pull away from the chair just a little bit. I struggle to force my muscles to keep myself upright, wanting to slump over and crumple to the floor. He undoes the one at my lap and I barely feel it because my entire bottom half has gone numb at this point. He lowers down further and unlocks the cuffs at my ankles, fully freeing me from the chair. I’m immediately elated to be liberated once again, getting overzealous and springing from the chair. Blood rushes to my head and my numb legs remind me how bad of an idea that is because I tip forward, falling into the metal table, the wind knocked from my lungs. I let out a wheeze and feel strong hands pull me back up onto my feet from my shoulders.

Eraser Head wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me flush to his hip to support my weight. I can feel his hero muscles swell as he pulls me off the table, shifting so we can shuffle towards the door. I’m still dazed and weak, trying to work with his movements instead of against them, but my legs can barely hold myself up and he ends up dragging me along with him more than anything else. My head is right next to his shoulder, tucked tight to his body and I press myself closer, nuzzling my cheek onto his collarbone. He feels so good against me. I’m so woozy, I feel like I’m dreaming. This all could be a mirage, I am dehydrated as hell. But it feels so real and so good that I just submit to it immediately. I press even further, trying to get up to his neck. Trying to be closer. The moment crashes around me in an instant as cuffs fall around my wrists. Damn. It’s Detective Aiko standing behind me, cuffing my wrists together and ruining the moment I was just having with Eraser. I glare up at him and he just ignores me, squeezing the cuffs tighter, too tight. I yelp, but he just looks over to Eraser Head like, ‘Really?’. Eraser grunts and holds his hand out for the key, he still has that wild look in his eye and I realize now that it’s pointed at Detective Aiko. HE’s in the doghouse, not me. Well, I am still arrested, but it doesn’t really feel like it when Eraser Head is personally escorting me to the ER, cuffs or no cuffs. Detective Aiko drops the key into his outstretched hand with an eyeroll.

Eraser Head spins me around, so I’m facing forward. My head is still dizzy, but my legs are starting to get some feeling back and I’m able to stand on my own now, even if I am a bit wobbly. He pulls me close to him again, gripping my bicep with one hand and supporting my weight with a hand on my hip. He’s taller than I remember him being. Glancing over my shoulder, I have to look up at him. His jaw is set, clenched with the anger he’s trying to hold back, silently seething. He’s still eyeing Detective Aiko with a menacing nature, I know his quirk is eye related, but it seems he also has a natural affinity for staring anyways. I watch him tuck the key into his front pocket, then grip my arm again, his hands are so large. I gulp, now realizing my ass is basically pressed up to his hip. He’s still taller than me, it's more like his thigh, but that doesn’t change the fact that my ass is on this man. My mind goes crazy as he holds me there, having some kind of stare down with Aiko. Neither of them has moved, but after a moment the detective shifts back with a grumble. Eraser Head grunts and guides me forward, supporting me as we exit the interrogation room.

Eyes follow us as Eraser Head leads me out of the room and down the hall. The receptionist at the front desk gasps when she sees me walking (semi) free. I can tell they all know who I am. I can tell they’re all scared of me. I don't need my quirk for that. I take advantage of the tense scene before me and grin, lurching forward at the woman sitting at the desk. Eraser Head is still gripping me firmly, so I don’t make it very far before he yanks me back to his body, but I do make it far enough to scare that bitch gawking at me. She screams and drops the phone receiver in her hand, stumbling backwards. I didn’t really expect such a dramatic reaction, did she really think I was gonna rip her head off or something? I’m fucking handcuffed… and doesn’t she fucking work at the police station? She should be used to this by now, why is she so fucking scared? Dramatic bitch.

Eraser Head pushes me forward, obviously still riled up from previous events. I stumble forward a bit, but his grip on me is so firm I couldn’t fall if I wanted to. We continue walking through the waiting lobby, until we reach two large glass doors. Outside the doors, it’s day time, probably late afternoon by the look of the sunlight. I take a deep breath, ready to take a step out those doors, ready to leave this awful fucking place, full of these awful fucking people. Eraser presses the handicap button and the door swinging open, the air is warm as we step out and it’s a little joy in this shitty situation that I bask in for a moment. When we step onto the sidewalk, I look up at Eraser Head. This protective stance, the hand on my hip, if I just ignore the handcuffs it’s like we’re a couple on a stroll. I smile up at him, thinking about how sweet he looks with his hair catching the late afternoon light. It’s golden hour and it settles on him nicely, highlighting his stark features. His eyes flick down to me and an expression of genuine surprise passes his face for a split second. He looks away quickly, a blush coating his cheeks, but his face returns to its stoic default.

We continue like this for a moment until we come up on his vehicle. I’m not sure what I expected, but a small wave of sadness washes over me as he opens the rear door, shoving me into the backseat. I didn’t really think he would put me in the front with him, but this feels so… impersonal. I guess that’s what we are. Impersonal. I mean, I don’t even know his last name. I slouch into the black leather of the car and pout to myself, feeling defeated. Eraser Head buckles me into the seat, leaning over me with his whole, big body. Heat floods my stomach and suddenly I’m feeling something… else. I huff, breathing in his scent, I can still smell the bergamot on him, but the other scent on him still eludes me. It’s sweet and musky, almost earthy. He pulls away before I can breathe in again, shutting the door on me, boxing me into this car alone again. He’s in the driver’s seat about 4 seconds later, but the silence of being alone again still stands out to me. I shake my head, and try to focus on the sounds of the car as he roars the engine to life and pulls out of the parking lot.

Thank you for reading! :)

I love reading yall’s comments so please leave a note for me! (see that double entendre hehe im so smart) 

but seriously, thanks for the love and the followers especially for only one fic

(also I hope u all can tell how much I fucking despise the cops for this chapter)

[sleepysnk]

Hellooo first time requesting!! Feel free to delete if you dont feel like writing it Could you write a litle scenario where Bertholds girlfriend follow him in secret one night and overhears him planning with Reiner what to do with Eren and the whole titan thing , ofc she's shocked but she doesn't know what to do, tell her superiors or to confront her lover, up to you!! I had this on my head, if it were me, what would I do? n-n

this is quite an interesting request! i find that if i were in this situation i would be battling myself on what to do. i hope you enjoy! let me know if i did this wrong btw :).

Bertholdt x Fem!Reader: The Secret

Warnings: Spoilers to Season 2 and slightly to the manga, slight angst

That secret.

The only secret (Y/N) could never know about Bertholdt, or Reiner. When he first met her, he was in a battle with himself, should he love someone on this horrible land? or push her away and deny his feelings? Unfortunately for Bertholdt, he chose the first option.

He couldn't resist (Y/N), she was beautiful, super kind, and made Bertholdt a better person. Even Reiner who was about this mission approved of it, and for awhile Bertholdt forgot about the mission.

(Y/N) had no idea that Bertholdt was the colossal titan, she also didn't know Reiner was the armored titan. The #1 thing had to kept away from her, if she found out, it would destroy their relationship, and Bertholdt didn't want to lose her. No matter what.

Sometimes, she had a sneaking suspicion something was up. Bertholdt would get super nervous whenever Reiner would be around, he was afraid it would slip out. He tried his best to keep the conversation about what happened 5 years ago out of it. If it got mentioned he'd feel nervous, and it was obvious he would think about a lot of things.

As their relationship progressed Bertholdt was so in love with her. (Y/N) was the only thing keeping him going in this world, he wanted to take her back to Marley, afterall there was no future inside the walls.

Until one day, everything was going to go south for the two.

(Y/N) sat in the Mess Hall with Bertholdt and a few other cadets. It was dinner, so it was around nightfall. Most of the cadets were buzzing about the capture of a female titan, apparently it was someone that they knew. Annie Leonhardt. It was a shock to everyone.

"Who knew Annie was a titan all along" Connie said and looked down at his food.

Reiner looked at him. "Crazy discovery right? I mean I wonder if anyone else is a titan" he said and looked around the table.

(Y/N) looked up and noticed Bertholdt go instantly silent. "Everything okay?" she asked and broke him out of his thoughts.

He blinked a little. "W-What? Oh sorry (Y/N), yeah everything is fine" he replied and gave her a nervous smile.

She nodded. "Are you sure? You seem a little tense" she said and furrowed her brows.

Bertholdt looked at her and laughed. "Yes I'm positive" he said and went back to eating his food.

(Y/N) didn't really believe what he said. He was acting strange, and she didn't like it. Why would a mention of more titans make him nervous? I mean it made (Y/N) nervous herself, what if someone else was a titan among them? That thought alone sent shivers down her spine.

Reiner stood up from the table. "I'm headed back to my room, I'm exhausted" he said and looked at Bertholdt.

The odd thing was, Bertholdt stood up too. "Yeah me too, I'll see you later (Y/N)" he said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

She watched as the two exited the Mess Hall together. "That's odd" she said to herself and looked down at the table.

She decided to get up and follow them. Maybe Bertholdt was hiding something? He was acting strange, and she wanted to know what was up. She was never one to intrude, but if something bothers her, it will literally make her go insane. Plus Bertholdt is honest with her, why would he lie?

Bertholdt and Reiner were outside talking. "What are you talking about Bertholdt?" Reiner asked and nodded.

He looked at him. "You keep hinting at this secret! You realize how stupid you sound? We are going to get caught" Bertholdt replied.

Reiner rolled his eyes. "C'mon Bertholdt, it isn't that obvious. They have Annie yes, but there is no way they'll figure out it's us" he said and shrugged.

Bertholdt looked at his friend annoyed. "If you keep hinting at it, you'll raise suspicion!" he said.

The blonde rolled his eyes. "About what?" he asked.

"That we are the colossal and armored titan!" he argued and looked at him.

Silence flooded between the two of them.

Reiner looked at him. "No one will know, just keep your damn mouth shut and our mission will be completed" he said and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Not me, YOU" Bertholdt said and crossed his arms.

"We'll take Eren back with us and then this mission will be over. Trust me" he said and crossed his arms.

Bertholdt nodded. "How do you even plan to do that?" he asked.

His blonde friend shrugged. "Take him when the scouts will least expect it" he replied.

Bertholdt sighed. "I hope it works" he said and looked at him.

The two began to walk off. "No one will know a thing" Reiner said and shrugged.

What they didn't know was that someone heard everything. Specifically (Y/N), she couldn't believe what she heard. Her head was spinning at the thought of Bertholdt being the colossal titan, and Reiner being the armored. Was it all a joke!? But why would someone joke about that? Why would they want to take Eren?

She made her way back to her own room. She was trying her best to handle what she just heard.

"Hey (Y/N), are you okay?" Sasha asked and nodded at her.

She blinked a bit. "Y-Yeah! Totally! I'm fine don't worry about me" she replied and gave her a smile.

Sasha furrowed her brows. "Okay..." she said and went to her bed.

(Y/N) felt relief go through her. She didn't want to tell anyone what she just heard. What if nobody believed her? She didn't want to come off as crazy. Reiner had such a great relationship with everyone here, if something like that leaked, (Y/N) would for sure get shit for it. What about her boyfriend? Bertholdt sounded genuinely serious about what he said, he never lied to her ever, so what he was saying must be true.

As days went on, (Y/N) had tried her best to seem normal around Bertholdt. She didn't want to bring up anything, and it was eating her up inside. Bertholdt noticed that she was acting odd, the conversation would be kind of short, and she wouldn't really talk much.

(Y/N) was at war with herself.

Should she go to her superiors and rat out both of them? Or does she confront Bertholdt and Reiner herself? She wasn't sure how either outcome would go.

"Something wrong (Y/N)? You seem a little off" Bertholdt asked and nodded at her.

She smiled at him. "No not at all Bertholdt, I feel fine" she replied and tried her best to assure him.

He really didn't believe her. "Are you sure? You've been acting different" he said.

(Y/N) laughed a little. "Yes I'm sure" she said and looked at her food. "I'll see you later" she added and stood up.

She began to make her way to her superiors, specifically Commander Erwin. She couldn't confront Bertholdt, she wanted to do what was best, and that was the only option.

(Y/N) got to his office, and she began to tell him everything she heard. The Commander was surprised himself at what she was saying, at first he was a little skeptical since he always assumed Reiner and Bertholdt were innocent. After some talks with Hanji, it was revealed Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt were from the same town. It was plainly obvious that they could be.

(Y/N) felt nervousness around her. What would Bertholdt say? She's been with him for so long, and for something like this to come up, it would for sure end it.

The Scouts had to come up with a plan to capture the two without any casualties. Chances are Reiner or Bertholdt could easily transform, and a lot of people could get hurt. (Y/N) had to be used as bait, she had to get them to a secure location like they did with Annie, and then the Scouts would rush in to capture them.

Bertholdt knew something was up with her now. She avoided him, and ignored him whenever he tried to speak to her. What the hell was going on? Why was his (Y/N) becoming so cold? Was she planning on breaking up with him?

Everything was so confusing until that one day. (Y/N) told Bertholdt and Reiner she wanted to show them something. Of course, the two followed and both were curious.

"Where are we going exactly (Y/N)?" Reiner asked and furrowed his brows.

She looked back with a fake smile. "Just follow me, it's really cool" she replied and continued walking.

Bertholdt wasn't sure why all of the sudden she was being so nice. "I'm just as curious as you are" he said and looked at Reiner.

They followed her to some part underground. Reiner and Bertholdt were confused on why she was here.

"Why are we here, I don't think we should be here (Y/N)" Reiner said and nodded at her.

She stopped and they noticed her expression changed. "I'm sorry.." she said.

As soon as she said that the scouts appeared and tackled them. Bertholdt and Reiner were caught off guard.

"What the hell!? (Y/N)! What is going on?!" Bertholdt yelled as he struggled against the soldier on top of him.

She felt tears begin to roll down her cheeks. "I know your secret... I can't believe you're a monster" she said and looked at him.

Bertholdt's eyes widened. "What?! What are you talk about?" Reiner asked.

"You're the armored and colossal titan.." she replied and looked at the ground.

She did know. Bertholdt felt like maybe she did find out, but he didn't want to believe it. "(Y/N)!" he said and tried to get of the soldiers grip.

She watched with teary eyes as Bertholdt and Reiner were hauled away.

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Soft

(((i've wanted to write something like this for awhile. and i ranted to a friend (@tinyboop thanks lovely!!!) and finally did. My depression has been acting a fool the last week or so, so i may revisit this concept and like... flesh it out, and add more things and just... i dont know. do more with it. but for now, have this. enjoy lovelies i hope you like it! <3 thanks for reading as always!)))

Ao3

The sun shining on him through the windows of the bookshop was warm, verging on hot really, for how long he’d been laying in it. It was perfect. He had his arm draped over his eyes, listening to Aziraphale rattling around the shop. He heard cups clinking in the kitchen and smiled to himself, he could see the angel, washing all his forgotten cocoa mugs that had been gathering around the shop. Crowley rubbed his eyes, shifted deeper into the couch, and the sun, and threw his arm back over his face. Settling into his sunspot with a wiggle and a sigh.

He hears the angel’s footsteps and nearly smiles again. But the footsteps are coming toward him and he doesn’t want to risk it. He listens to him pace. A frown creases his brow under his arm. Aziraphale pacing never bodes well. He keeps still, listening, waiting to see if he’ll stop. Or say something. It’s usually one or the other.

“Am I –“ Aziraphale starts and then pauses.

“What angel?” Crowley asks, encouraging him.

“Am I soft?” Aziraphale asks, standing still now. Crowley snorts into his elbow.

“Of course you’re soft angel.” He says it like it’s obvious. Because it is.

Silence.

He moves his arm off his eyes the smallest amount.

More silence. And then a small tinkling sound.

Crowley sits up quickly, looking around at the, now empty, bookshop.

“Angel?” his voice is quiet. He shoves himself to his feet, peeks into the next room.

Empty.

“Angel?” a little louder.

“Where in the…” he sways in a circle, his arms flailing and then falling to his side. His stomach sinks as he checks the other rooms. No angel. He sighs, grabs his sunglasses, shoves them onto his face, and walks out the door, flipping the sign to closed as he goes, locking the doors with a snap as he crosses the street to the Bentley. He watches the bookshop for two hours. The sun drops behind the horizon and the windows stay dark. He sighs again and drives away.

Two weeks.

Two weeks and nothing.

All of Crowley’s calls go unanswered. There are several calls. More than Crowley would ever admit to. The windows of the bookshop stay dark. Crowley swears, one day, he’d seen the lights blink out just as he’d rounded the corner, he’d sat outside that day. Waiting. He didn’t know for what.

He pulls up to the bookshop, the sun long gone down, the streets long empty, and the lights. The lights in the bookshop are shining. He climbs out of the Bentley and walks to the door nervously. He shouldn’t be nervous. This was ridiculous. It was Aziraphale. He didn’t need to be nervous. He was pretty sure he didn’t need to be nervous. But things were different now. After everything that had happened, maybe he should be nervous. He looked down at the fancy French chocolates in his hand, rolled his eyes at himself, and stepped through the door silently.

He blinked slowly, not sure exactly what he was seeing. Aziraphale was there. But he was wearing… was that a track suit? A bright, white, track suit with baby blue pinstripes up and down the sides. He was doing some kind of stretching, facing away from Crowley. His neck was red, flushed, and Crowley could see the sweat dripping off him. He was suddenly very hot. His fingers drummed quietly against the box of chocolates as he watched Aziraphale bend down, touching his toes and then back up again. Crowley bit his lip and watched the angel rest his hands on his hips. He could hear him breathing heavily, he licked his lips as he watched his shoulders rise and fall heavily.

“What in heaven are you doing angel?” he can hear how off his voice is, all high and squeaky. He clears his throat, opens his mouth to say more but something isn’t right. Aziraphale is looking at him, all red faced, and sweaty, and… beautiful. But there’s… something else. Crowley cocks his head to the side. He looks… sad. And tired, dark circles coloring the skin under his eyes.

“Angel…?”

Aziraphale is silent. His hands clasped together in front of him as he looks at the floor. Crowley clears his throat again.

“I erm… Listen I’m not… sure. What I did to upset you. But I know that you are upset, and I’m sorry.” He walks toward the angel slowly, holding out the chocolates at arm’s length. Aziraphale looks up at him, takes the chocolates gently, and then seems to deflate.

“Oh Crowley.” He sighs, and collapses onto the couch. His track suit replaced by his normal threads between the moment his knees begin to bend and when his thighs hit the cushion. And Crowley, like they’re magnetized, follows him. Knee pressing against Aziraphale’s thigh, and he notes the way he pulls away slightly, tries to make himself smaller. And it clicks.

He'd asked if he was soft. And Crowley remembered the way Gabriel had talked to him. The way he'd looked at him. All hard judgment and sharp edges. And his chest aches. He reaches out. He can’t help it. He always wants to touch him. Needs to. His hand falls gently on Aziraphale's thigh, closer to his knee really. And he feels him move away again. He squeezes his fingers, pressing them into Aziraphale with a purpose.

"Angel." and Aziraphale won’t look at him. His cheeks still red. Almost the color of cherries now.

"Aziraphale. Look at me." and he does. Because it's Crowley. And no matter how upset he is, he'll listen to Crowley.

"You're soft."

Aziraphale frowns, his hands wringing in his lap.

"Hey. Soft is good."

Aziraphale snorts.

"No it is!" Crowley argues, his fingers pressing harder into the meat of Aziraphale's thigh. He notes the way Aziraphale squirms, doesn’t stop.

"I like you soft. Softness fits you. You're... you're comfortable. Like a... eh... em.. uh... like ..." he stammers.... words failing him as they often do. He pulls his sunglasses off and rubs at his eyes with his free hand, trying to find the right words.

"Like your favorite comfy reading chair!" He pulls out of nowhere, shouting it a bit too loud. But Aziraphale looks at him for a moment and then smiles. So it doesn't matter.

"I'm a reading chair?" He asks, and Crowley can hear him suppressing amusement. He nods, moves his hand up a bit higher, making Aziraphale’s eyes lock onto it, his throat making a little sound as he tries to swallow.

"My favorite reading chair." He says with a smirk. Aziraphale rolls his eyes.

"You don’t even read." He dismisses.

"I don’t read books." Crowley corrects. Aziraphale looks him, puzzled now. Crowley sighs, swallows down his nerves. He moves closer. His hand moving to rest on Aziraphale's soft stomach, Aziraphale tenses under the touch, Crowley presses closer still, crowding into his angel’s space.

"I don’t read books." He repeats, his voice low.

"But I've been reading you for almost 6000 years." Aziraphale's breath catches.

"Crowley-" 

"I've been reading you since we met and I can tell when somethings wrong. I can feel it angel. And I promise you." He moves his hand to Aziraphale's side, his thumb moving in slow circles.

"There is nothing wrong, with you being soft. It's not a bad thing to be. You being soft is perfect. You're supposed to be soft. It’s part of who you are. It's part of why I -" he cuts himself off and Aziraphale stares at him, eyes moving over Crowley’s face, stopping at his mouth more than once and Crowley swallows hard again.

"Part of why you what?" Aziraphale whispers, his hand moving to Crowley’s shoulder, finally moving toward him instead of away.

"I um... well.... it's uh..." he sighs and drops his head on Aziraphale's shoulder suddenly. He can feel Aziraphale press closer, feels him smile into his hair.

"Oh go on, you've said so many nice things already. Might as well finish your thought dear." His hand moves up over Crowley’s neck and into his hair, Crowley shivers and hums, a strange sounding rumble in his chest that makes Aziraphale smile again.

"Stop fishing for compliments. It doesn't look good on you" Crowley mumbles. Aziraphale chuckles, moves his fingers over Crowley’s scalp slowly.

"I think we both know you think most things look good on me." His voice low now, deeper than usual. Crowley’s head shoots up and he stares at the angel, he can feel his eyes changing, can feel the yellow in them bleeding out.

"I-"

Aziraphale smirks at him.

"You?" And he's positively insufferable now, nearly wiggling with delight in Crowley’s grasp.

"I... I love you." He breathes, a sigh, like a breath of air he's been dying to let out and finally can. Aziraphale's cheeks tint, just the smallest amount. And then he's smiling, grinning at Crowley, and he can feel his own cheeks heating up, he goes to drop his head again but Aziraphale catches him. His hand on Crowley’s cheek.

"I love you too. You must know that." Aziraphale's eyes are so wide, so honest. Crowley swallows again.

"I- I hoped. I didn't- I wasn't-"

"I do. I do very much." Aziraphale reassures, not letting him finish. Crowley nods. He doesn't know what else to do. Aziraphale does though. Because he always does.

"Let’s make a deal." Crowley’s eyebrow jumps, curious.

"I'll stop this working out and worrying nonsense, no more thinking I’m not- not good enough." Crowley’s nodding already, Aziraphale smirks at him.

"If you, stop wearing those retched sunglasses." Crowley frowns, his stomach drops, he tries to pull away, doesn’t want to talk about that, not right now, Aziraphale holds him still.

"Not always. Just here. Just with me. When it's us. Here. Together.” He moves his thumb against Crowley’s cheek.

“I do so love your eyes you know." He moves his hand to Crowley’s face, finger tips trailing gently under Crowley’s eye, and then up along his cheekbone.

"You do?" He sounds skeptical, and Aziraphale frowns at him.

"Of course I do. They're part of who you are." He smiles, a soft thing. And Crowley can’t help himself, he needs to taste that softness.

He presses forward. Aziraphale sighs into him, holding him close. Their lips move together for a moment. Or maybe several moments. Or maybe no time at all. Crowley doesn't know. Doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. They move apart at the same time, together. Crowley rests his forehead against Aziraphale’s, trying to level his breathing. He can hear Aziraphale trying to steady himself as well. He opens his eyes and finds his angel matching his smile. He moves his hand to Aziraphale's hip, fingers pressing in again, Aziraphale moves into the touch with a sigh.

"Deal." Crowley sighs, and pressed forward again, already needing more. Always more.

[randomsevans]

PAIN OF BEING IN LOVE

Part 2

Chris Evan's x Reader

@jtargaryen18 30 days of chris 2020

summary: following the news of Chris's engagement you find your way back down memory lane . To the finding and first crack in your love for Chris that would only lead to the current pain you are in

The part couple of hours have been a blur ever since Lisa had announced that Chris was getting married to his actress girl friend ,Minka . You feel like your mind was somewhere as your body floated around not releasing what was going on , feeling numb . You dont know how or when but you laid on your bed under the covers in the pitch black . Finally letting the tears fall . You knew this day would come , but it doesnt stop the pain , the constant stabbing in your chest . You always knew loving Chris was bad for you , but you did it anyway, you still do . And you know deep down no matter what the future holds for you or who you have in your life you will love Chris . And you will always love the joy and pain he brings into your life , without anyone knowing, well apart from Scott now . And you know no one , ever , future ,past , present will have the same effect on you as those blue eyes do . You will always love chris , different love no one could ever be able to beat or match or even go higher But you kept it a secret long enough and it will always be . It's not like you expect somewhere down the line you two might end up together, that was never gonna happen . His to good for you , and his sees you as a sister . An Minka is perfect for him in every way . You are happy for him truly getting the life he has always wanted . But that doesnt stop the pain. You cant help but remember to the day you realised you love him and how he could never be yours , you never would allow it .

+++++++++++++++

Flashback

'The dickhead , errrrrrr knew it was too good to be true , I bet his getting a proper kick out of it ' 14 year old you was standing outside the cinema. The movie you were ment to be seeing playing, probably half way through now . Your date never turned put and to be honest your not that disappointed, he seem like an asshole anyway . Your just annoyed he probably thinks it's fun and thinks your crying. (You wouldnt allow your self to cry over something so pathetic in your eyes ) But you can't help on single tear roll down your cheek , this was ment to be your first date . You didnt want to go , you wasnt interested, but Scott kept pushing you to give it a shot. At least one lesson was learnt , dont listen to Scott but it's a lesson you already knew all to well .

To make things worst Scott wasnt picking up his phone . Probably to busy was something stuiped as always . Once you called him the 10th time you started to become stressed . How was you gonna get home ? You felt more teare escape due to the stress .

Scrolling though your contacts you came across Chris . You held your thumb over the name of awhile debating whether to call him or not . He was Scott's older brother ,you didnt want to make a fool of your self and seem like a little girl who cant look after her self but at the same time he said he you ever needed him he was one phone call away .

So that's what you did . With your phone now up to your ear you waited to see if he would answer. 'Hes probably busy with his new girlfriend '

But to your surprise he answered

"Hello "

"Hi " your voice cracked and tears began to run down your cheek at the sound of his voice.

"Y/n are you okay ?" You could hear the panic in his voice , you just let out a loud hiccup as your tried not to cry "... tell me where you are I'll come and get you "

"But ... a... arnt you .u busy ?"

"I'm never to busy for you . Now where are you ?" He demand as you heard on the phone and loud slam you could only assume a door and a seconde later you heard his car engine.

"Umm Chris it's fine, I should of called "

"Sweetheart tell me where you are ,or I swear I'll look on every street in Boston. "

"Umm but "

"Y/n " he warned

"I'm at the cinema 15 minutes away from your and Scott's "

"Okay I'll be there in 5 " he ended the call .

How can he be here in 5 , its 15 minutes away . Unless he is going to speed . He better not. Maybe he already knew where I was . Oh who iam kidding his nee girlfriend probably leaves 5 minutes away .

And with that you waited ,not much else you could do . Your tears died down . Still feel stuipid of crying over something or someone or somewhere you didnt even want to be

As if in a blink of an eye a battered dirt coloured trunk pulled up in front of you . The windows rolled down to show a very conserndier Chris showing lines on his youthful face as he frownd . "Get in " he muttered by in a tone that was not to be argued with . So you step forward hesitant at first but then you remember you did call him . As as you open the car door and I one footed jump into the truck , shuting the door behind you placing your bag in front of you , inbetween your feet as you fiddled with the seat belt .

"So ... " he began " why are stranded at the cinema "

"I was... um "

' Why am so nervous '

"I was ment to be on a date ..." it was then you final met Chris eyes that showed a flash if emotion as if he was almost hurt at the thought of you on a date . But it was probably because you interrupted his own . But you still felt a need to explain as if to avoid hurting his feelings.

"He ..he stood me up.. its not like I even wanted to go it was all Scots idea ." To quickly finished quite nervous as if you did something wronge .

Chris raised an eyebrow "Scotts ha ?" You nodded

"I tried calling him but he didnt pick up "

"So you called me ?" You nodded " so why was you crying if you didnt even want to be on the date ?"

"I was not!" You never like showing your emotions it made you feel weak and you are anything but weak .

"I heard you on the pho..." he chucked trying to lighten the mood

"I was just stress I didn't know how I was gonna get home "

"Well iam here now "

"So can you take me home ?" You questioned

"No !" You were shocked by his sudden answer.

"What ?"

"I'm not taking you home, not yet anyway " he said with his sights smirk .

"So where ?"

"Surprise!" He said starting the engine

"But ... but dont you have to get back to your girlfriend?"

"Pfff girlfriend?" He looked confused.

"Yeah Scott said you had a girlfriend "

"You shouldn't listen to Scott "

"I know that " you giggled now looking out the widow watching the world pass away. Unaware of certain blue eyes keep glancing at you with a smile only for you .

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

" you didn't have to do this you know " said while manching on your fries in a dinner Chris brought you to .

" I did !" He agreed with a mouth full of his burger ." I couldn't make you go home with a frown " he said with his mouth. You blush at his words but disgusted by his manners .

Throughing a scrunched up napkin you giggled playfully " dont speak you your mouth full "

He raised an eyebrow and smirked a little sorry .

"Why do you care anyway , why do this just to make me smile " you giggled certainly in a better mood , his blue eyes stared into your in awe and a quite mutter you just about heard " if only you knew " but you swear you heard him wrong some you moved on to your next question . As those also familiar butterflys return to your stomach when ever your around Chris .

" So is that your job to make me smile " you ask while putting another frie or two in your mouth .

"Among other thing "

"Like ..?" Your curiosity getting the better of you .

" Give me the punks name ? " he glared at you but still in a soft manner as if to tell you his anger wasnt towards you

" what ?"

" the idiot who stood you up I want his name " he demanded as if a man on a misson .

"Why? "

"Because he made a mistake standing you up "

"And whys that ?"

Because he stood up the best girl in Boston, I know I wouldnt if I was him" the last part came out a bit shaky and quite .

"It doesn't matter anyway " you felt the butterflies raise to your chest as your heart began to faster .

"Because it does "

You couldn't argue anymore , abit scared by his tone you gave him the boys name . But you were still under the spell of his blue eyes . And it was at that moment everything your mother said as a child when you ask about love , princess and prince, clicked in your head . She expain how the flurry feeling never goes away as their around, how theirs a smile on your face always. And how their a feeling. A feeling only there can make you feel . It was at this moment you realised

Holy shit I'm in love with Chris

As you stared at those blue eyes surrounding a 17 year old Chris you knew you always had a little crush on him . You were pretty sure half of the girls in school did . But it never accrued to you just how far those feelings ran .

"Why do you care ?" You titled your head .

"Because your Scotte best friend " he smirked with yet another mout h full of his burger. You giggled at his terrible manners .knowing full well he was doing it because he knew it annoyed you .

And it was in this moment you knew

'He will never be your y/n and keep it that way to keep both Scott and Chris in your life '

You put on a small smile , as the first crack appeared on you new found love for Chris that will forever be on you heart . If only you knew it would be the first of many. Leading to the one big hole you feel currently. But that's the pain of being in love

[madmadmilk]

(1) girl, I had the best dream of Tom last night that FELT SO REAL. We were roommates in college that were pretty close and we had this flirtationship going on but it never went further than that. there was this gorgeous girl he had over at the apartment that he had been taking to for awhile. they were drinking and laughing on the couch right as I came home from class. as soon as I walk through the door, Tom and I make eye contact and I cannot hide the look of heartache on my face and

(2) and he looks over at me and he has this confused/realization look on his face. I decide to lock myself in my room cause I’m like ‘omg he’s gonna fuck her and if I hear that I’m gonna cry then hurl.’ Instead, I hear the front door close then moments later a knock on my bedroom door. Confused, I open it and there he is— staring at me with this lovestruck daze and my legs feel like jelly. he grabs my face and kisses me and we make out on my bed for an hour OOP—

-

>> the disappointment felt strange to you. like, you’ve known him for years now. you’ve known who he’s dated, who he’s interested in, who he goes out with–– but he never brings them home likes this. giggly, secretive, all under your nose but in your face all at once.

it hurts cos your shabby apartment was the only place he got to be something like “yours.”

as you take a short glance to see him fill up her cup and laugh boyishly, you felt like a fool. like you’ve made up all the “flirting” on your own. –– the late nights just talking, making dinner together, watching bad movies, sharing cabs, and falling asleep on the couch…. those were just casual i guess.

cos there’s a girl who’s not you doing the things that you thought were so special right fucking there.

he looks up and gives you a wary stare, nodding as you pass. you manage to nod back, biting your lips together to avoid a sigh. your back is turned as you juggle your things to open up your room door. his voice behind you is open and slow,

“want a drink?”

“nah i’m good.”

you slip into your room without turning back–– a hard gulp caught in your throat. so lame that you felt the prick of tears in your eye. the sight of someone else in your apartment set you off more than you thought it would. she could be a lab partner, or a cousin or a friend–– it shouldn’t matter to you.

but it does. and you know exactly why. you’ve known, for a long time.

you shut your eyes to fight against the waterworks, but see visions of him kissing her neck. of him leading her to her room, of him apologizing about it’s messy state–– and how he clicks his tongue because he’s nervous, and scratches the side of his nose to think. so stupid. the way his voice sounds through the walls is too familiar, you would know what was happening immediately.

so fucking stupid.

you scrunch your whole face, seeing stars behind tightly closed lids. you wipe your cheeks with the back of your arms, dropping your things around the room. you turn up some music and fall onto your bed, laying on your side and scrolling through your phone. you felt a tear slide out of your eye and scoff, ignoring it.

you fall asleep in that non-confrontational–bitch fashion, avoiding your feelings and problems and responsibilities in a 2 hour nap. you awake to the sound of a shutting door. you don’t recognize it immediately, wondering who was where–– but remember about the pretty girl in the house.

did tom finally bring her to his room?

you shut your eyes and pray for another two hour nap. god, please.

no good.

can i crawl out the window? is there a fire escape? fuck–

partially sit up, rubbing your eyes. you have half a mind to remember the makeup on your face, but it’s too late. your hair is flattened and odd, you have those weird wrinkle lines on your arms–– MESS.

and there’s a soft knock at your door. and he calls your name.

“mm?” you hum, still half awake. your eyes flutter full open when you hear your door open. “whh- tom?”

he walks in, comfy hoodie and baggy sweats. he changed to home clothes. hm.

“hey.”

“… hey?” you scratch the back of your neck, stretching. you grope along your bed for you phone. “what’s up?”

he shuffles over, sitting beside you. he finds your phone quickly and taps it on your knee. you turn, taking it and looking up at him. his hair is tousled, eyes sleepy. his voice is gentle,

“… you’re listening to that sad playlist again. you alright?”

you purse your lips, looking for your laptop and cutting the music. you shake your head, furrowing your brows. “no i wasn’t.”

“yeah you were”

“…. no…”

he just looks at you, and you can’t stop staring at his broad shoulders. he’s tense, you can tell. and he’s itching to tell you something, you can tell.

“what is it, tom” you push. shutting your laptop and setting it aside. you kick his leg lightly. the smile on your face look fake-concerned as hell. but it was all you could muster.

he blinks, nodding slowly.

“sorry i had someone over without telling you. she’s just someone from class”

“mhmm,” you say. you almost click your tongue, dodging it by rubbing your eyebrow, “cool. you dont’ need to tell me every time you have someone over. i was just surprised.”

“but you look upset about it.”

“i’m not.”

...

...

“but i want you to be upset about it.” 

his voice is muffled behind his sleeve. he leans forward, propping up against his knee. big brown eyes look at you between frizzy curls.

“what?” you pause.

now the next part happens in slow motion, or maybe he was moving really slow. you can’t tell. but he sits up, mouths someone you can’t quite read–– and holds your heads. you feel your heart thud out of your chest as you blink quickly.

a smile grows on your lips as he get closer, matching his. he tilts his head towards you, and his nose touches your cheek first. then his lips. 

they’re soft and dry, but here on yours.

the first kiss is meek, like a greeting.

the next is bolder, you open  your mouth and slot his lower lip between yours. your hands move up his arms as he touches your waist.

soon you’re on his lap, hands through his hair as he claws up your back. you can hardly tell if this is a dream or reality. your skin is on fire, your body is vibrating with confused joy.

you open up your eyes, to look down as see his pale face, earnest and freckled. sweet boy. you trace around his forehead, and down his cheek. his eyes open lazily, half-lidded. he’s smiling that boyish smile for you now,

“feel better?”

“just a little bit.”

you bend down to kiss him again, just because you can, and wrap your arms around his neck. 

“tom?”

“mmm?”

“is this a dream?”

he laughs into your kiss, dipping you forward so you yelp and hug him closer. your legs wrap around his waist as you demand he sit back up. you’re near upside down, but his face in front of yours feels so right.

“you tell me.”

you pinch your arm. it hurts.

☁️💕

[johnnysnostril]

Without You

chapter fourteen

jaehyun’s pov

i sat in the hallway with my eyes closed. breathing slowly, i tried to calm myself down- processing this information.

how the fuck did he get that picture?

alonna wouldn’t send anything like that to him..would she?

“baby!” haechan yelled as he ran around the corner.

i smiled and waved, pushing my emotions down.

he always called me baby for some reason.

i gave him a hug before he walked into the studio and followed him in.

it was 5 minutes to 2pm and malcolm hadn’t come back yet.

as i took a seat, i stared over at taeyong- who was staring back at me.

i wanted to kill him so bad.

haechan jumped in the booth, slipping the headphones on and pretended to record.

minutes later, the rest of the group walked in- including johhny.

i stood up as soon as we made eye contact, pulling him back outside the studio.

“im about to fuck him up, johnny.” i mumbled.

he furrowed his brows.

“who?” he slipped his phone in his pocket and ran his fingers through his hair.

“taeyong. he has a picture of alonna in her underwear- in my fucking bathroom at the hotel.”

johnny looked down the hall to see if anyone was coming- then pulled me outside the back exit.

“don’t let him get to you, jae. he’s trying to fuck shit up for you and alonna.”

i shook my head.

“how. did. he. get. the. picture. johnny?”

he sighed.

“you have to trust alonna. she wouldn’t do that.”

“who knows? taeyong didn’t hide her, at any point of their relationship. what if she wants to go back to him, because we’re not official yet?” i countered back.

johnny chuckled and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“are you hearing yourself, bro? you sound ridiculous.”

ivy’s pov

after brunch, alonna and i decided to go visit our old hangout spot. as we pulled into the parking lot, i almost wanted to cry.

“you remember we used to come here, almost everyday after school?” i questioned.

i looked over at her as she gazed out the windshield. 

nodding, alonna reached over and grabbed my hand.

“yeah- this spot was almost like home for us.”

we were quiet for a second. this was more than just a “spot” to us.

this was where we came, when shit got tough.

“and when your dad died..”

i winced at her words then glanced down at my flowers.

taking a deep breathe, i nodded- blinking away some tears.

“yeah..”

letting go of her hand, i opened the car door and got out. alonna did the same, coming around the car and hugging me.

i held her tight for a moment.

for some strange reason, i wanted to hug johnny right now..

“let’s go see if our names are still carved into the bench.” alonna said changing the subject and pulling away.

i smiled and linked my arm with hers as we walked.

johnny’s pov

the meeting with marteen was a success. we already had a few beats lined up- but one in-particular stuck out to all of us.

although the meeting turned out great, i was irritated that i had to be in the same room as mark. of course we didn’t speak, and no one but jae really knew what was going on with us.

haechan only knew cause mark opened his mouth and told him.

but luckily, haechan hadn’t said anything to me.. yet.

after we recorded some of the song, we all decided to leave for the day.

i slipped my phone out of my pocket, checking to see if i had any messages- as i walked back to my car.

boss lady.

“alonna.” i mumbled.

opening her message and reading, i leaned against the car.

“how many times do i have to tell you to stay away from ivy, johnny? i’m not going to keep playing with you. stay the hell away from my sister. you being violent in front of her, was not okay- but, you had the nerve to follow me to our brunch date? who do you think you are?”

i sighed and shut my eyes for a moment.

i understood that alonna was just being protective. i get it.

but, i would never put my hands on ivy. i wouldn’t even think about it.

“alonna, i know what i did was stupid and immature. i get that you're just being protective of ivy. i would have never laid a hand on her. please, understand that. you have to put yourself in my shoes though. you know how mark is. he’s just trying to take ivy away from me, cause he knows that i actually had eyes for her first. and to be fair, i don’t even think that he truly likes her. he just likes the idea of her.”

“johnny.” jae said running up behind me. 

i turned around, quickly locked my phone.

“you ran off so fast.” he chuckled.

giving him a handshake, i smiled.

“sorry- just trynna get back to the hotel. i’m exhausted.”

he moved his hat on his head, turning it backwards.

“you’re not gunna come to practice?”

i shook my head, opening my car door.

“i’d rather not. not like i’m needed anyway.” i laughed.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

jaehyun took hold of the door as i jumped in and started the engine. 

“we’re a group, johnny. you’re needed just like everyone else.” he reassured me.

hearing my phone ping, i nodded.

jae started to babble on, about the importance of being a team- while i read alonna’s message.

“i’m not going back and forth with you over text. meet me at the hotel in 30.”

rolling my eyes at her message, i dropped my phone in the cup holder.

“i hear you, jae. but, im not going to practice. being in the same room with mark for a few hours, was enough for me.”

shutting the door, i strapped on my seat belt and drove off.

alonna’s pov

after sitting at our spot for awhile, ivy stood up from the bench. 

“i think i’m ready to go now.”

i chuckled and agreed.

“good- cause i have somewhere to be in like 10 minutes.” handing over the keys to ivy, she furrowed her brows.

“where?”

i placed my hands on my hips and smacked my lips.

“i’m older. you can’t question me. now let’s go! drop me off at the hotel, please.”

i laughed, pushing ivy to the car.

safety, my sister drove to the destination- pulling right in front of the lobby door.

“do you need me to come pick you up later?”

i shook my head.

“i’ll probably stay here.”

ivy playfully rolled her eyes, placing both hands on the wheel.

“you know, you do still have a room at the house. don’t forget that you live there too.”

i was quiet for a second before reaching over and hugging her.

“i know... i love you, ivy. see you later.”

hopping out of the car, i grabbed my purse- running over to the entrance of the lobby.

quickly making my way to the room, i knocked on the door.

johnny swung the door open and i pushed past him, walking straight to the couch.

johnny’s pov

“well hello to you too.” i said sarcastically as she made her way inside.

i shut the door, shoving my hands in my pockets- waiting for her to start the yelling match.

“why would you follow me?” she began.

licking my lips, i thought of the right words to say.

“i like her, alonna. and i needed to make things right, before mark gets too deep in with ivy.” 

alonna folded her arms, lifting an eyebrow.

“that doesn’t give you the right to follow me. you could have just asked me where i was going.”

i chuckled lightly.

“it’s not like you were going to tell me you were meeting up with her. you made it clear that you didn’t want me around her.”

she threw her hands in the air.

“and you didn’t listen.” her voice began to crack.

“if something would've happened to ivy that night, do you know how hard it would've been for her to bounce back from that?” alonna yelled.

“you don’t even know anything about her, but yet- you like her “so much” right?”

i was quiet. clearly, she was right.

letting my gaze fall down to the floor, i bit the inside of my cheek.

“ivy is so fragile, johnny. she needs to be protected at all times. the least you could do, is thank mark for keeping her away from your crazy antics.” 

lifting my head, i held up my hand.

“i’m sorry- thank him? that, i won’t do- ever. so, you can toss that idea out the window right now. i know that i’m better for ivy. period. and if ivy wants me around, she’ll have me around. you’re not the boss of her, alonna. she’s a grown woman. ivy can make her own decisions.”

alonna laughed, placing her hand on her hip.

“and what happens when she picks mark, huh? you gunna beat him up again, for something that ivy wants?”

i couldn’t believe her right now.

“why don’t you just worry about what’s going on between you and taeyong, okay?

huffing, i made my way upstairs.

“excuse me?” she said following behind me. “there’s nothing going on between me and taeyong. i haven’t spoke to him since your stupid party.”

i laughed at her comment, taking off my shoes.

“yeah, okay.”

alonna grabbed my arm, turning me around.

“what did he tell you?” 

i looked down at my arm then back at alonna.

“he didnt tell me anything.” i said pushing away from her.

“why don’t you go ask jae what was said.”

alonna’s facial expression changed. like she was shocked that i even mentioned his name.

“he said something to jae..” she mumbled.

i laid myself on my bed and sighed.

“i’m exhausted, alonna. i just wanna sleep.” pulling back the sheets, i buried myself into the covers.

“whatever.” alonna twisted on her heels then made her way back downstairs and out the door.

mark’s pov

leaning against the mirror, i watched everyone try and catch their breathe.

i hated dance practice sometimes. it went on for hours and hours.

walking over to the window, i leaned against the coldness of the glass.

the night was dry. no wind, nothing.

it was completely dark and only the street lights lit up the area.

“good work guys. that’s it for the day. make sure to keep practicing and we’ll continue tomorrow.”

our choreographer smiled as he quickly exited the building.

i just kept thinking of ivy. 

what she was doing, and how she was feeling.

“mark hyung..” haechan called out for me. as he approached me, i patted his back.

“does it hurt?” he asked.

i shook my head.

“don’t worry- im okay.” i laughed. 

haechan pointed at my lip and shook his head.

“johnny hyung must have been really mad. please dont fight anymore.” he whispered.

i smiled at his bad english. at least he was trying. besides, this busted lip didn’t even come from johnny. but, he didn’t need to know that.

“haechan, we wont.” i reassured him.

he smiled back and walked away, grabbing himself some water.

i sighed and pulled out my phone as it began to ring.

the number was unknown. i furrowed my brows and hit the answer button.

“hello?”

“hi, stranger.” ivy giggled.

i shut my eyes, smiling at the sound of her voice.

“hey, beautiful.” i whispered back to her.

“what are you doing?”

i could tell there was a smile on her lips.

“just thinking about you.” i replied back in a low tone.

“don’t lie to me.” shes spoke softly into the phone.

“i would never. how are you? did you get some rest?” 

she was quiet for a moment.

“can i come see you?”

her tone changed slightly.

“of course. is everything okay?” i asked.

“i just.. i- yes.”

“dont lie to me.” i repeated her line.

she breathed a laugh.

“come see me at the practice room. i’ll text you the address now.”

ivy’s pov

pulling into the parking lot, i looked up at the building. this looked sketchy. i was almost scared to get out of the car.

grabbing my phone, i called mark for him to meet me outside.

shortly after our phone call, he appeared from behind the door.

i smiled, biting my lip- turning off the ignition and getting out.

“you must have really missed me. that was pretty quick.” mark said in a playful tone.

i rolled my eyes at him comment and hugged him as he stood in front of me.

his arms wrapped themselves around my waist, pulling me into his body.

i held him for a moment, closing my eyes and taking this in.

i still needed to think about all of this. i didn’t want to play with anyone’s emotions and i didn’t want to be played with either.

mark swayed from side to side slowly, burying his face in my neck.

“you smell so good..” he mumbled.

i blushed, tightening my grip around his neck.

“thank you..” i whispered.

as he pulled away slowly, i pouted on the inside.

“everything okay?” he said taking my hands and squeezing them.

i nodded. “yeah.. i just wanted to talk.”

mark smiled and began to pull me towards the building.

“you have perfect timing, you know that?”

i tilted my head.

“and why is that?” i smiled as he continued to walk backwards, once we were inside.

looking at his watch, he chuckled.

“because, i’m overdue for some kisses.” 

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Pink Chains

Part Seven.

Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment. 

Tags. @galagcica @haikyuu-but-low-iq @mocha-babes @derpeedoo @kayisweird @kozushiki @lunebabie

The ride back into the city was quiet; the only sounds were the crying kitten on your lap and Kyotanis music. No one was saying anything and Kyotani did not have his hand on your thigh, you were staring down at the kitten watching it wobble around on your lap trying to balance itself out. It was a brown cat with a white creamy head and back. Looked to be male, too.

You tucked the kitten closer to you watching it shine under the street lights then go dark then go light again. Kyotani was focusing on driving, his knuckles hurt and he could feel the irritation in his lip where Bokuto punched him. He was so goddamn angry at everything right now; he just wanted to give you a nice day after the shitty morning and day at school you had, he just wanted to see that smile on your face that he loved so much, that happy look that was just for him. He was going to end the night at his house with you in his arms watching whatever movie you wanted…

But everything changed so fast… too fast. He hated himself. What would have happened if he punched you? If he did not see you come between him and Bokuto? How bad would he have hurt you? ...it all hurt him right in his heart…

*

Kyotani pulled up to your apartment and helped you bring the things in from the zoo. You sat down on the ground by Mohas cat hut looking in with the kitten on your lap.

“Mocha.. I .. brought you a friend..” you said, breath shaky.

Kyotani could only watch, he wanted to console you so bad. Tell you its okay now, but he was not sure if he should even go over to you, or say your name.

Mocha emerged from her hut to see you and the kitten, you set the scared animal down and pet Mocha. “His name is Machi, short for Macchiato , hes your new friend okay?”

Mocha sniffed Machi and lightly grabbed at its neck dragging the kitten inside it. You sighed, relieved, Mocha could take it from here.

You got up to see Kyotani sitting at your table with his hands in his hair, elbows on his knees staring at the ground.

“Kyo..”

He didn't move.

Slowly you dropped to your knees again to fit between his legs so you could see him.

“Kyo i wanna go to your house….”

You blinked when his tears hit your face, his lip was fumbling and his nails were digging into his hair. You laid your head on his thigh talking very calmly.

“I enjoyed my day with you so much, ive never seen a lion before. They are so fluffy huh? I bet its fun to brush the males crazy hair. The wolves liked you too huh? Did you notice that?” you rubbed his leg soothingly feeling it twitch under you. “I bet they will remember you, especially the one who stared at you. I really liked the red pandas. I still cant believe you set that up. Just for me. Did you see them flop around? They are such silly creatures.”

Kyotanis left hand fell to weave itself into your hair to hold your head.

“I had a very nice day with you Kyo. What happened does not change that. Promise. You said yourself you wanna talk it out with Bokuto. When you do youll be friends. I know you can do it. Your my Kyo you can do anything.”

Kyotani choked out a heavy breath, it felt like he was holding everything in just to listen and focus on you. He pulled you up to press his forehead against yours. He had a very shaky and nervous voice.

“I-i-i-i… i kno-ow,, Sweetie.”

*

Kyo had indeed brought you to his house and you were very happy to be there, you were curious about this surprise he had mentioned and Kyo refused to say anything more on it.

It was a very nice big house. A fenced in yard with a even bigger garage.

You got out of the car watching the gate close behind you and Kyotani pulled you in for a hug from behind burying his nose in your neck holding you for a minute. Just taking it in, you were so special to him. You were the one for him, he knew it. And he was never letting go.

“Ready sweetie?”

“Yes yes !!!” you turned to give him a kiss and he sighed wiping the blood off your lips.

“Sweetie let me wash up first” he told you, taking your hand and going into home from the garage, the door sliding down on its own sealing the garage up.

“Be quick ab-”

A lot.. Of barking could be heard, a lot..

You hugged Kyotanis arm, squeezing it. “Puppies?!!!”

“Oi quiet down its 9 at night!!! King stop it!!!”

“Is that iwaizumi?” you asked him.

“Yep.” he took you up the stairs and opened the door to his living room.

A large all black german shepherd was barreling towards you barking its head off, it was deafening. Behind him was a yellow Shiba inu trying to bark equally as loud but he was not as big, next was a skinny tan pit bull barking low, his little tail wagging very fast.

“ BABIES!!!!” instantly you dropped down and the dogs tackled you with kisses and wagging tails. Your laughing was music to Kyotanis ears, god it helped so much.

Kyotani stepped over his dogs to go see Iwaizumi who was holding a white pomeranian. He pet it and instantly Iwaizumi could tell his friend had gotten in a fight. He did not say anything, just gave his rough looking friend a look. Kyotani shook his head looking back at you, you were standing now and petting all the dogs with a excited face.

“The big one is King, the shepherd. The Inu is Rex, the skinny one is Chicken Legs, hes a rescue,” he told you.

“And this is Mango! My lil baby” Iwaizimi said, holding the happy dog up .

“More babies!!” you gave each dog a nose kiss and hurried over to greet the happy snowball of a dog in Iwais arms. “So cute! All so cute!”

“Sweetie, my room is upstairs, go find something to change into okay? Ill be up in a minute”

“Kay! Iwaizumi Kyo has something hes gotta tell you!” you told him, all huffy.

“Oh yeah?” he teased putting the dog down .

All four dogs followed you up the stairs and Kyo shook his head knowing he would have to kick them out after he got up there.

As soon as they hear the door shut Iwai crossed his arms over his chest dipping his head at his friend taking in his cut lip and bloody knuckles. Kyotani sat down after grabbing a wet cloth and explained while he cleaned up.

“Seriously? “

“I dont even care that he showed up, i almost fuckin hit her.”

“Punched, is the correct word” his friend said sitting down with him. “What happened next?”

Kyotani shrugged, squeezing the towel for a second. “I broke down, i had accepted im a monster and that she was gonna run off leaving me. But instead she got on that dirty ground with me to yell at me and give me a talking to.” he wiped his knuckles, one by one. “She thought i started it but Bokuto spoke up, i told him to get in touch with Yahaba and then we left..”

“Christ..”

“Iwaizumi i dont know how shes still with me”

“I dont either. But shes special Kyotani, thats more than obvious now.”

“I want to move on from that day, that tourney. Everything, and start a life with her.”

“Well Yahaba will want this cleared up pretty soon so expect that in the morning, you know how he operates”

“Mhm,” Kyotani got up rubbing his face with the towel. “Ill see you tomorrow Iwaizumi, Oikawa is opening right?”

“Yep, lets hope he remembers how”

“God..”

*

Kyotani went up the stairs to see you in one of his old jerseys with no pants on with all the dogs sitting with you on the floor wagging their tails. You were petting each one and telling each one something special about them.

Kyotani put his hands on his hips whistling, alerting the dogs.

“Cmon now.” he motioned for the stairs.

The dogs pouted and you giggled getting up to sit on the bed criss cross. All the dogs went to Kyotani and he moved to the side. “Out, out out, “ he told them walking behind them. Each dog flopped down the steps except for Chicken Legs, he was whimpering and giving Kyotani a nervous look.

“Scared to go down still?” he crouched down picking up the dog. “ okay okay,” Kyotani brought the dog downstairs and gave it a gentle hug. “Go get some sleep, she will be here in the morning.” He made sure Chicken Legs made it into the dogs room before going back upstairs, closing his door with a sigh. Kyos room was full of posters, trophies, and jerseys. He had a desk with an expensive laptop sitting on it and a little picture bored next to it with pictures of him and lal of his volleyball friends. His bed was very big, a King size maybe. It was across from a big screen tv that sat next to the wall.

“Kyo…”

He looked up after ditching his pants and shirt to see you waiting for him to join you.

You looked so perfect in that jersey to him. He made his way over spotting you clothes on his floor along with a pink bra. He crawled in the bed pulling you on his lap facing him giving you a a really long deep kiss.

[thewritingstar]

Ah well were all at home better ask all 200 questions g, don't really know much about u

200 QUESTIONS???? ALRIGHT HERE YA GO. 

hope you enjoy me spending an hour answering all of these :) 

200: My crush’s name is: N/A 199: I was born in: 2000 198: I am really: nice 197: My cellphone company is: idk 196: My eye color is: Hazel, can turn dark brown or light green sometimes 195: My shoe size is: 8 194: My ring size is: 7 I think 193: My height is: 5′3 192: I am allergic to: penicillin  191: My 1st car was: Toyota  190: My 1st job was: Baskin Robbins  189: Last book you read: Suicide Notes (highly recommend)  188: My bed is: galaxy bedding and is currently on the floor in my bed fram cause my friends broke it... 187: My pet: Black cockapoo and a white cockapoo named Abby and Molly 186: My best friend: is a hoe 185: My favorite shampoo is: herbal essence color me happy  184: Xbox or ps3: I perfer Wii, Wii U or Nintendo switch  183: Piggy banks are: cute, Mine is a ducktales cup  182: In my pockets: nothing rn 181: On my calendar: nothing rn 180: Marriage is: a good thing but not a necessity for a happy life 179: Spongebob can: get it  178: My mom: is a queen  177: The last three songs I bought were? i only buy cds for my car so: Lover, Hozier, Blink 182 176: Last YouTube video watched: The Office deleted scenes 175: How many cousins do you have? 8 but I only see four of them and two of them are adults with kids so i consider them more of aunt and uncle figures 174: Do you have any siblings? One older sister  173: Are your parents divorced? Nope  172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope 171: Do you play an instrument? Nope 170: What did you do yesterday? Sat on ass and watched youtube 

[ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: ye why not 168: Luck: yes  167: Fate: yes 166: Yourself: kinda 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: mmmm yes i guess 163: Hell: yes 162: God: uhhhhh yes and no, kinda indifferent 161: Horoscopes: yep 160: Soul mates: yesss 159: Ghosts: ye 158: Gay Marriage: WHO THE FUCK DOESNT BELIEVE IN THISS?? ITS REAL  157: War: think it does more harm than good 156: Orbs: ye 155: Magic: ye i wanna be a wizard 

[ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: drunk, i dont do drugs and i dont drink yet but ill prob get drunk  152: Phone or Online: oo i use both but Online i guess 151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair 150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 149: Hot or cold: HOT 148: Summer or winter: Summer 147: Autumn or Spring: Both 146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla  145: Night or Day: Day 144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: I have straight hair but curly hair is also beautiful 142: McDonalds or Burger King: BURGER KING..I HATE MCDONALDS 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: MILK 140: Mac or PC: Pc 139: Flip flops or high heals:...High heels prob 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: SWEET AND POOR, IM ALREADY UGLY 137: Coke or Pepsi: NEITHER 136: Hillary or Obama: obama  135: Burried or cremated: cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: love both but maybe dancing rn 133: Coach or Chanel: Coach  132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idk who they are 131: Small town or Big city: Big city, i grew up in a small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: TARGET 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas  125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY  123: Yankees or Red Sox: eww sports 

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War:....does more harm than good  121: George Bush:....dont know enough to say but im pretty sure he was an awful human  120: Gay Marriage: It should just be called marriage, just because you’re gay doesnt make it any less or any more, its equal to other marriages  119: The presidential election: 118: Abortion: Pro Choice, no one has the right to tell someone what to do with their body 117: MySpace: i never used it cause i was too young but i bet it was lit 116: Reality TV: its funny af  115: Parents: are nice if they care about their child but if they are abusive or horrible then they dont deserve respect  114: Back stabbers: should be stabbed  113: Ebay: its nice  112: Facebook: full of idiots and boomers  111: Work: a scam  110: My Neighbors: they fine 109: Gas Prices: A SCAM 108: Designer Clothes: a nice but really $200 for socks, no mama 107: College: SHOULD BE FREE 106: Sports: fun but no one needs to make that much money for throwing a ball 105: My family: i like them 104: The future: is wild and idk at this point 

[ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: my mom like a few days ago 102: Last time you ate: at 11 today! 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:  100: Cried in front of someone: my mom after i yelled at her 99: Went to a movie theater: i saw Onward when we were allowed outside 98: Took a vacation: went to disneyland last October  97: Swam in a pool: like almost two years sadly  96: Changed a diaper: when i was like 8  95: Got my nails done: never got them done because my mom wouldnt take me cause i was a ‘tom boy’  94: Went to a wedding: never  93: Broke a bone: when i was three, my big toe 92: Got a piercing: my nose in January  91: Broke the law: i guess i sped the other day  90: Texted: literally as im doing this 

[ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: my friend 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: the silence of being alone 87: The last movie I saw: Princess and the Frog 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Moving for college 85: The thing im not looking forward to:  84: People call me: Deanna (real name), Dean, Star (what yall call me) ton of others 83: The most difficult thing to do is: idk  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was:  79: First time you had a crush: Ive had  78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my best friends 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my friends over ft  76: Right now I am talking to: no one 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully being an animator  74: I have/will get a job: at disney  73: Tomorrow: doing nothing 72: Today: doing nothing  71: Next Summer: hopefully not on quarantine  70: Next Weekend: nothing special  69: I have these pets: 2 doggos 68: The worst sound in the world: ICE SCRAPING OR MOUTH BREATHING 67: The person that makes me cry the most is:  66: People that make you happy: my friends 65: Last time I cried: few days ago  64: My friends are: my world 63: My computer is: a Dell  62: My School: is a community college  61: My Car: it goes 60: I lose all respect for people who: are bigots, dehumanize people, republicans  59: The movie I cried at was: Onward had me sobbing  58: Your hair color is: Brown rn 57: TV shows you watch: theres too many 56: Favorite web site: tumblr or youtube 55: Your dream vacation: every disney park  54: The worst pain I was ever in was: i think when i cut my finger or when i went to the hospital for my chest  53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium rare  52: My room is: disney themed and my safe zone 51: My favorite celebrity is: Tara Strong  50: Where would you like to be: Disneyland 49: Do you want children: ehh maybe  48: Ever been in love: nope 47: Who’s your best friend: my neighbor that ive known since i was 4 46: More guy friends or girl friends: more girl 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: making cake  44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my cousin 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really  42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ye 41: Have you pre-named your children: kinda 40: Last person I got mad at: my mom 39: I would like to move to: La 38: I wish I was a professional: animator

[ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: Kitkat 36: Vehicle: Cars 35: President: 34: State visited: California, Nevada, Texas, Hawaii,  33: Cellphone provider: 32: Athlete: n/a 31: Actor: Colin O'Donoghue 30: Actress: Lana Parrilla 29: Singer: Joe Jonas, Taylor Swift  28: Band: Big Time Rush 27: Clothing store: Hot topic, Ross,  26: Grocery store: Safeway  25: TV show: Once Upon A Time or PPG  24: Movie: Princess and the Frog and Ratatouille  23: Website: tumblr  22: Animal: elephant  21: Theme park: disneyland  20: Holiday: Halloween  19: Sport to watch: hockey  18: Sport to play:..i do not play  17: Magazine: i dont read mags  16: Book: Kingdom Keepers  15: Day of the week: Friday  14: Beach: one i went to in Hawaii  13: Concert attended: Jonas Brothers  12: Thing to cook: chowmein and strawberry shortcake  11: Food: Chowmein  10: Restaurant: my fav Chinese restaurant  9: Radio station: I don’t listen to the radio  8: Yankee candle scent: Vanilla  7: Perfume: Vanilla  6: Flower: Rose or Larkspur  5: Color: Black or blue  4: Talk show host: umm i dont watch many but i guess Jimmy Fallon  3: Comedian: Jaboukie Young-White or John Mulaney  2: Dog breed: Pomeranian  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ye 

[kazhewbrekker]

vilify me - chapter 4

this is the longest chapter to date! and probably the last one for a little while as im settling into college and dont have as much time. fear not though! chapter 5 is in the works and im committed to finishing this monster of a multific. without further ado!

(AO3 Link) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3)

Kenji seemed unimpressed as he walked into the hanger. I wasn’t expecting a huge reaction, but I thought he’d be at least a little bit excited over the prospect I was offering. I gave him a wink as he walked closer and patted the seat on the motorcycle I was leaned against, lovingly. It was a good thing I hadn’t run my plan past Warner, he would’ve been jealous.

“Do you know how to ride a motorcycle?” I asked innocently.

Definitely not impressed. “Never seemed like a necessary skill set.”

I shrugged. “Feel like learning?”

Kenji crossed his arms over his chest as I passed a helmet to him. He didn’t take it from me, which was to be expected. There was no chance he was going to go easy on me. I mean this was literally me trying to appeal to him enough to get him to trust me. Or maybe, just maybe, it was me trying to find something to relieve myself of the utter boredom that had befallen me since I came to Sector 45. Which, I had to remind myself, wasn’t Warner’s fault.

He was busy. I was also usually busy, that’s just how things were with us. And now, with this mission he’d put me on, I would find a new way to be busy.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Kenji took the helmet begrudgingly, “Where are we going?”

“Does it matter? Let me answer that, no.”

I climbed onto the seat, settling my feet in their place on either side of the bike. Kenji hesitated again, the black helmet now smugly fastened around his head, trying to figure out where he was supposed to sit on the motorcycle with me. I grabbed his wrist, between us was the layer of his military coat and the riding gloves I had fashioned myself with, as I pulled him on behind me.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“I didn’t say you would, Princess.” Kenji shifted uncomfortably and created a space between the two of us. I had the urge to roll my eyes. Like that would stop me. If I wanted him dead he would be by now. “How come you don’t wear a helmet?” Kenji asked.

I revved the bike. “Let’s hope you don’t find out.”

-

“Put your foot on the break,” Warner instructed. “No, hold it down.”

“Sorry,” I shot him a glare and pressed down all my weight on the car’s brake. The glare broke apart in an instance. I was too excited to be mad.

Finally, after being told over and over that he would teach me, Warner was going to show me how to drive. I’d wanted to for years, ever since he had when he was eight. Mum and Dad would never let me behind the wheel of a car, at least not until I was older no doubt, they didn’t even trust Emmaline in one yet. But I would learn how to drive first, because Anderson had left home earlier that morning and Leila wouldn’t mind if we borrowed the car. Or totalled it.

“Okay,” I said, “okay, what do I do next?”

“Shift into drive.”

I blinked down at the controls. “What am I on right now?”

“Reverse.”

I managed to shift the car into drive recalling what I’d seen in films, “You don’t have to look so nervous, we’re indestructible, remember?”

Warner sighed exasperatedly, hands tightening on the seatbelt. “Keep your eyes on the road.” I grinned and checked my mirrors, slowly pulling my foot off the brake and towards the gas. “And I wish you’d stop saying that.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because my biggest fear is that one day it’ll stop being true.”

I frowned. I took it slow, but driving on a street that no one was ever going to come down again gave me the whole road to practice. I jumped between brake and gas over and over, inching forward and trying to get the hang of it. Every once and awhile, Warner pointed something out to me, but he was as patient as he was with teaching me anything. It was easy, easier than I thought it would have been.

“I’m not going to lose my powers, Aaron.”

“No,” he agreed, “but have you considered your parents’ new project.”

I sucked in a breath and the car huffed in response. Warner didn’t looked shocked as I hit the brakes to look over at him. He looked worried. “Project Canary. Emma’s losing her mind over it.” I said.

“I know, I heard.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me she’s bothering you about it too.”

“When she can’t call you she calls me, I’ve told you this before.” He tucked his chin and looked down at the watch affixed to his wrist. “Emmaline is just worried about you, love.”

“Of course she is, because if they can get through me it means she’s next. I don’t blame her.”

“Ella.”

“It’s true!” I shrugged, “You know it, I know it. I reckon if Canary succeeds, then I’ll be the only one affected. Well, and you, probably.”

“Probably? You can’t be serious.”

I sighed dramatically, shifting gears and turning us around back towards the house. I knew he was staring at me, I could feel it burning under my skin. If he was offended by the truth that was his problem. Not mine.

“If something happened to you,” I wasn’t watching his face, but I heard the way his breath caught in his throat. A chill settled around me as I waited for him to continue. “I would be devastated. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, sure, of course.” I snipped back.

“Ella, I’m serious.”

Too much, too heavy. I nodded in an attempt to get him to drop it. Warner was my best friend, but God if he didn’t make everything out to be life-and-death. Though, technically, this situation could very well end in my untimely death. It didn’t matter. He was serious all right, far too serious. And I didn’t want to think about the immediate future, not like he did.

-

I loved motorcycles. More than cars, planes, especially boats. Nothing else could get me in contact with the same level of speed as the motorcycle could. I wondered a lot if it was anything similar to drugs, Mum and Dad would have me caged again if I experimented with anything that could mess with my brain or my body. So, death defying activities was all I had.

But I had to drive carefully, Kenji’s arms wrapped around me so tightly I had to focus on the wind whipping my hair to not break down at the feeling of being barred.

I hadn’t been lying about the helmet comment, as far as Kenji knew I was talented in hand-to-hand combat and could most likely kill someone if they just so happened to brush my skin. He had no way of knowing that a motorcycle crash was much more likely to hurt whatever I crashed into then myself. When I’d first embraced my daredevil tendencies, Warner had insisted that I wore protective garments, riding jackets and enforced padding. We hadn’t known the full extent of how much damage I could sustain. We found out though, eventually.

I came to a stop in a place where the road evened out and the buildings had grown scarce. It was strange, Southern California had always been overflowing with populace and new houses that the large expanse of nothingness was almost unnerving. I pushed those thoughts from my head and removed Kenji’s hands from my waist.

He attempted to climb down with me, but I steadied him on the bike with a smile and said, “I’m teaching you how to ride remember?”

“I never said I wanted to learn how.”

“Yes, but you also never said you didn’t.” I placed my hand on the handlebar, about to launch into a speel about what each part on the bike did, until I noticed he was staring at me strangely. “What?”

“I’m curious. What brought this on?”

“Me teaching you how to ride a motorcycle? I was bored, wanted to ride my bike, and you’re supposed to follow me everywhere I go.” I paused, sardonic in nature. “Thus, here we are.”

Kenji looked back at me as if he didn’t believe me, and I had to give him credit, he was a lot more intuitive than he had appeared at first glance. It wasn’t as if I was lying. I was currently trying to use enough of the truth that he’d have eventually just have to believe that my intentions were pure. It’s not as if I had given him any reason to believe otherwise. Beside the fact that I work for a fear mongering government that treats its citizens even worse than the ground they walk on.

I might have to rethink my plan of action.

“Okay,” I huffed. “Clutch is here, gear shift is down here, throttle, and break. You’re ready to go.”

“Wait, hold on a second, that’s the big lesson? You point at all the controls, pat me on the back and say ‘Good luck.’ You’re the worst teacher in the history of ever.”

“Jesus, that’s a little harsh.”

“Never have kids.” He said with a straight face, “You’d try to teach them how to ride a bike and then just throw them straight into oncoming traffic.”

I groaned, “Newsflash you egg, traffic isn’t as issue anymore. The 405 is dead and I’d be a great mum.”

Kenji didn’t move as he held his humorless expression. As the silence dragged and we continued to just stare at one another, something cracked. I wasn’t sure if I was the first to snort, but giggles erupted from my lips until I was crumpled on the ground holding my stomach from laughter. Kenji wasn’t much better, he had to use to the motorcycle to hold himself upright as he practically hacked up a lung.

I was wiping tears out of the corners of my eyes when Kenji finally said, “All right, that was hilarious. But I’m still not riding this death trap with a ten second long instructional period.”

“Just,” my voice was still strangled with restrained giggles, “trust me here.”

“You don’t make that easy.”

But he listened and settled on the bike like before, keeping one boot on the ground to stabilize himself. I corrected his form and I watched as his eyes darted nervously around the open field. I couldn’t say I completely understood his nerves, I’d never had to really worry about bodily harm before. With that, I had the sudden realization that this was a terrible plan, and if it failed it would really suck to have to drive home with a dead body. Or, even worse, have to walk.

“Ready?” I asked honestly.

He didn’t in the least bit look ready. At least he knew how to brake.

Kenji gave a curt nod and I stepped away from the bike, giving him room to start the engine again and prepare for take off. The motorcycle gave a growl that I felt in my chest, that made the hair on my arms stand up, and as Kenji gave me one more glance before staring at the opened, empty road before him. I gave a silent prayer to a God I don’t believe in.

The motorcycle lurched forward, shakily and slow it made its way down the street. A couple of times I worried if it was going so slow that the machine might tip over, but at every chance Kenji shifted his weight to keep it steady. It wasn’t until he turned around and came back towards me that I saw he had a genuine smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes, he was going barely more than 20 miles per hour.

“All right. It’s not a vespa.”

He hit the brakes as he neared me and the sudden stop made him ram his stomach into the center console. Kenji took a shaky breath but his voice was only a little winded, “What’s a vespa?”

“Oh my God.”

-

Our bedroom was cold. It was the middle of July and from the window I could see the moon against the cloudless sky. It was the only thing lighting the room. For once I was happy that snow hadn’t come so early this year, because if it had then I wouldn’t be able to see the moon at all. I clung tightly to my blanket knowing that it was my only protector, that would stop the dark corners of the room from getting any closer to the foot of my bed.

I had been working very hard to not let it bother me, to sleep through the night without interruptions or nightmares. If Emmaline could do it then so could I. But it seemed like the harder I pushed away the negative thoughts, the stronger they came back with a vengeance. And the more they stole my breath straight from my lungs. I knew what panic was now though, I’d felt it before. It kept rising and rising like the temperature on a thermometer. Until my head started to feel dizzy and my chest began caving in.

What was it that Warner always said? Try to breathe.

Easier said than done.

At this point I should’ve been used to any form of sensory deprivation. Nothing to see, or hear, only the cold walls of the room that remind you that you’re not dead. Or asleep. Or somewhere in the middle. Mr. Anderson would turn down the oxygen in the room if I tried to fall asleep. It would go on for hours. But it always ended, sometimes I was worried it wouldn’t.

Little bird, little bird in a gilded cage. With spikes on the bars. Little bird with no escape.

“Ella,” my sister’s voice whispered across the bedroom. “Ella, go to sleep.”

I froze. My rampant neverending thoughts must have woken her up, or at the very least kept her from falling asleep. I wasn’t quite sure what Emmaline could hear and what she couldn’t. But if I hated being in my own head, then surely my sister would despise it just as much. “Sorry, Emma.”

She sighed, rolled over. I felt my face burn with shame. “No worries, just…“ Her soft words disappeared into the cloud of dark that blanketed over her half of our bedroom. We’d been sharing a room since I was born. At least that’s what I had been told. But now the sea of carpet between the two of our beds felt wider and all the more terrifying under the gaze of the moon. I had to steel myself. I couldn’t be weak, I couldn’t whimper at the idea of closing my eyes, what would Mum say?

“Ella. Come here.”

I looked over to Emmaline’s moving sheets. I could barely make out her motions across the room. But I didn’t give it a second thought. I bundled the blankets around my body, grateful for the socks that covered my feet, and I tiptoed over the lie to Emmaline’s side of the room. Where pink met purple.

Emmaline was waiting patiently with arms outstretched. She pulled me and my blankets up onto the sheets with her, and that’s when I noticed the long sleeves pajamas and the gloves. How had she been wearing gloves to bed? Emmaline pulled my head to her shoulder and hugged me tightly. I wished I could see her expression. I wished I could read her thoughts for a change. My panic spiked once more.

“Calm down,” Emmaline yawned. “Give it a rest.”

“S-Sorry.”

It was dangerous to be this close to my sister. It was dangerous to be around anyone, ever. This was my curse. My burden. Mum called it a gift, she said it made me special. But I had to work harder, so I could be just like my sister. Mum would kill me if anything happened to Emmaline. She’d actually kill me.

“Shhh, go to sleep.”

“I-I…”

My sister’s finger combed through my hair. I closed my eyes against her pillow.

“Sleep, Ella. You can worry about things in the morning.”

She was right. I knew somewhere deep down that she was, but a part of me refused to accept it. It seemed like no matter what I did, my worries would follow me into my dreams too. I focused on Emmaline’s breath, her heartbeat, the slight brush of my hair from my forehead. It made me crave the blurry memories of climbing into bed with Mum and Dad, falling asleep in the safety they provided. Now it didn’t feel safe to be near their wing of the house, or even near them.

“I don’t want nightmares.” I whispered back to her.

Emmaline paused. If I paid close enough attention I could feel the edges of her power just on the cusp of my consciousness. If I dared to push against it all I would feel would be numb. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal.”

I blinked my eyes opened, “A deal?”

“Sure,” she pinched my shoulder. “If you try to sleep, I promise I’ll chase all the bad dreams away.”

It was far too dark in the room for me to see the look on her face. I couldn’t even tell from her tone if she was messing with me. I was a bit too old to believe that anyone could chase away my bad dreams, especially when they had been formed out of reality. But then again, Emmaline had power over the mind. Even now I could feel her rooting herself in my thoughts, sharing them with me, but blocking me from following that path back into her own head. It was a one way trip, or so she said.

If anyone could get rid of the nightmares, actually get rid of them, it would be Emmaline.

“All right.” I said.

She nodded once into the dark, “Close your eyes, then.”

I did as she asked. A moment passed, but in the moment the darkness of my eyelids didn’t feel constraining, like I was being pressed against the walls of a prison. It felt almost calm. Like a purring cat under my bare fingers, enjoying the feeling of my touch. It felt like I was back in North America, tucked into familiar sheets, pressed against the side of someone else. But only for a moment.

And then I opened my eyes and Emmaline was gone.

I sat up, wrapped in pink sheets, and stared across the room to the bed I had fallen asleep in. Purple sheets as pristine as if they had never been slept in at all. I should have figured. That kind of comfort and safety could only last a night.

-

Kenji wasn’t confident enough to drive us back, and I wasn’t entirely confident he could either. So, I drove the motorcycle to the compound, stopping myself from taking any unnecessary risks, least Kenji never go on another adventure with me again.

As much as I loathed to admit it, my plan was almost certainly backfiring. I was having fun just making friends with someone new. Socializing wasn’t exactly a skill I excelled in and the fact that Kenji almost didn’t seem nervous to get on the back of the bike with me after spending the afternoon in my company made me feel better than I had in awhile. There was a churning afterthought though, that if he wasn’t who he said he was, if Warner was right; then Kenji would die by my hand. There was no way around it.

Or so I told myself as we parked in the hanger.

I shot a scathing look at the soldier who carted off my bike, knowing they would take care of it, but trying to retain the menacing aura I had accumulated before I started letting myself go soft. Maybe Warner was right and I really should go back to training in the mornings.

It was only a second later as I turned to speak to Kenji that I felt a thrum of energy go through my body. The sensation stilled me to my core, even my lungs refused to take in oxygen as my brain scrambled for concrete meaning. I knew this feeling and I knew it well. My body restarted.

“Kishimoto,” my voice was harsh, “you are dismissed.”

“But--”

“Now, soldier.” There was a bite at the end of my words that I hadn’t ever used in conversation with him before. He registered this and, probably with some sense of betrayal, turned on his heel and marched away from the hanger. I hoped he was fast enough.

When my ability had first manifested, there were a lot of things going through my five year old head. And still it wasn’t anywhere near as complicated as Emmaline’s own mind. My sister, being a year older than me, took it upon herself to compare us in everything. Even before our powers. Shockingly, she wasn’t so far off when it came to this over everything else. Our abilities were simultaneously complete opposites and so similar that they could not be recreated in any test subjects. Though it wasn’t from lack of trying.

I could feel the energy of living things. Around me were spools of thread that tied back to every living creature, I could feel their hearts pumping, I could sense the electricity beneath their skin. By extension, Emmaline was connected to life through their minds. She had her own network that she organized and colorcoded, more orderly than my own, efficient. But our largest connector remained each other, and it was at that moment that I felt my sister’s ability wrap itself around me. As if it wanted me to know she was here, listening in to the private confines of my head. So, I did what any little sister would do.

I immediately thought back to the last time Warner’s lips were on mine, the heat of our breath as I undid the buttons of his shirt. I let my eyes close as the memories washed over me, leaving a singing fever in their wake.

Emmaline withdrew faster than a bat out of hell.

“That was rude.”

I heard her before I saw her. My eyes blinked opened tentatively as I watched my sister walked down the stairs into the hanger. Soldiers stopped, if only for a moment, to stare and wonder. Emmaline looked a lot like our mother. Her hair was two shades darker than mine and always laid flat down her back, her face was older, wiser. And she wore that red lipstick that Mum liked.

It was hard not to think of that woman when I looked at her. “What, like looking through someone’s head? Tell me, is that real rude?”

She rolled her eyes, “You’ve made your point.”

“Have I?”

When she stepped down from the last stair a smile appeared on her face, out of nowhere. And then she held her arms open towards me. I noticed the sleeves of her coat, the collar of her shirt that covered her neck, the gloves that seemed to permanently cling to her hands. This wasn’t a last minute decision, my sister had come to Sector 45 with the full intent to see me.

I tried to walk calmly towards her. I’m pretty sure I failed.

Emmaline hugged me. She squeezed my shoulders and rocked us from side to side like a dance. It wasn’t appropriate, to be so excited to see each other, if our mother was there she would have chastised us greatly. But Mummy dearest wasn’t there, and we could do whatever the hell we wanted.

“This is a surprise,” I said as we pulled away.

“I told you I’d be visiting shortly.”

“Actually, you asked if you could visit and I never got back to you.”

Emmaline huffed as if I’d greatly inconvenienced her, “Doesn’t matter. It’s not as if you’re busy, hiding out from our parents and what have you.”

“They know where I am.” My eyes narrowed on her as a mischievous smile inched its way onto her face. “Mum does know where I am, right Emma?”

“Oh, she could guess, but I’m afraid she’s preoccupied right now.”

I held my breath. No wonder I’d been left alone for almost a month. Emmaline was covering for me and with her powers no less. It was starting to get scary how easily she could deceive the people that more or less ran the world.

“And what was your excuse for flying out here?”

Emmaline glanced at me, her lips upturned in a smug expression that made her lipstick seem darker. The color of blood. “I’m allowed holidays just like you.”

There was a palpable moment of tension between us that shattered with a clap of my sister’s hands. She turned on her heel and made her way back towards the stairs. I followed, just as she had expected me to do, and I watched as her hair flew behind her like a black veil. Nothing was different about Emmaline from the last time I had seen her, but I knew my sister better than that. She wasn’t a consistent person in the least.

She had plans. Always.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friend?”

I met her eyes as she glanced back at me, “Didn’t think you’d be interested.”

Emmaline hummed to herself for a moment before we entered the main hallway. She let me move to take the lead as I headed for the nearest elevator. It was just around dinner time now, the sun had already begun it’s decline over the ocean. Well, it would’ve anyways, if it wasn’t for the clouds hiding it. And I was starved from messing around in God knows where for hours.

“Y’know, sis,” she spoke finally after the elevator doors closed. “You can’t exactly lie to me.”

I gritted my teeth.

“And I’m not just saying that because I can read your mind. What, can’t trust me now? Especially when you’ve decided on making friends with someone you think is working for the rebellion.”

“Hush up,” I hissed.

The elevator was still steadily moving up towards the higher floors. That left us with little time left to speak with the comfort of not being recorded. Once we were out in the open, anyone could overhear us and report back to Anderson, Kenji would be as good as dead.

“I don’t know for sure.”

Emmaline scoffed.

“I don’t. Doesn’t matter, I just don’t want you rooting around in his head while I’m trying to do my job. Because if he is with the rebels, then maybe he can lead me to that base.”

“The base Anderson’s on your ass about.”

The doors open, “That’s the one.”

We walked in silence towards the dining room. There was something strange and familiar about wandering these halls with my sister beside me. Maybe it reminded me of when we were children, I scrunched my nose. Emmaline and I hadn’t wandered the halls together when we were little. We barely interacted outside of bedtimes and Sunday breakfasts. I watched her out of the corner of my eye and found her looking back at me. Her expression was blank.

Before I even opened the door to the dining room, Emmaline groaned from beside me. I felt a tinge of a smile make its way onto my lips before I waltzed inside, emulating the grace of a person with the ball in their side of the court. If she was going to be confrontational or then I simply wouldn’t let it get to me, Emmaline could whine all we wanted but this was still Warner’s sector.

A telepath and an empath walk into a bar… I’d hate to hear the punchline.

Emmaline hesitated by the door as I swept inside to take my usual seat beside him. He barely spared a glance at my sister, before turning to me, his side of the table devoid of paperwork for the first time in weeks. I narrowed my eyes, had he heard of her arrival before I had? Most likely.

I leaned close enough to press my lips to his cheek as he whispered, “A nice surprise.” I had to stifle the laugh the built up in my throat.

As much as I liked to taunt my sister, I also found myself increasingly more demure in her presenance. My cheeks reddened and I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as I pulled away from Warner and into my own space. I caught Emmaline’s eye as she, now quiet for the first time since I’d seen her, sat down carefully beside us. I braced myself for whatever she was reading, whatever she could feel.

“Don’t stop on my account.”

My nerves blew out of my lungs in an instant. Warner brought a water glass to his mouth rather enthusiastically, he was hiding a grin. I could rest easy knowing that this dinner wasn’t going to be a normal Emma-Aaron staredown, where I was placed in the middle and forced to choose which one I would have to calm down first. Frankly, I found it unfair that they put me in such a position at all.

Emmaline and I had been rivals since the beginning on account of our abilites and the expectations that came with them. It made our relationship difficult to say the least, stressful and even distant. We rekindled what we could salvage the older we got, but it was hard to put the pressures our mother had forced down our throats away. Warner and Emmaline’s rivalry was different. And I couldn’t even be sure when it started. It almost felt like I had woken up one day to the both of them being at each other’s throats with no explanation other than, “Because I hate him, Ella.” on my sister’s lips.

I had my assumptions. But I certainly wasn’t going to tell them that.

“C’mon now,” Emmaline spoke first. “What have you two been up to, spare no details.”

“Is that why you came here? To catch up?” Warner raised an eyebrow and I felt his hand find mine underneath the table.

Emmaline amused herself my looking through the assortment of bottles on the table, in Sector 45 there never seemed to be a shortage of alcohol, before picking one that suited her tastes. “Why else would I be here?” She said as if there was a very obvious, very necessary reason for her to be here. Her eyes met his with something I could only describe as contempt, “To make sure you haven’t defiled my little sister?”

I felt more than saw Warner’s reaction to her words. It was like the walls turned ruby red, the air became almost stifling, but neither of the other occupants seemed to notice. No, Emmaline was reveling in my love’s discomfort. There was a gnawing dread in my stomach that colorfully plated breads weren’t going to fix. I squeezed Warner’s hand.

“Behave,” I said.

Emmaline shrugged, “I haven’t done anything that warrants punishment, Els. Even if punishment is your specialty.”

“For someone so gifted in speech, you’d think you would have learned when to shut up.”

“Bite me.” She laughed and buttered a roll.

The heat had dulled, but only slightly, and a dull blade was worse than a sharp one. I turned to Warner, who was still fixing my sister with a death stare. I raised his hand to my cheek. If I kept his attention on me, then hopefully they wouldn’t do something I would end up regretting.

“I rode my motorcycle today.”

“You did?” Distraction successful, he answered curiously.

“I missed it. We should do it more often, it wasn’t the same without you.” The room smelled like lilac. “It’s getting pretty cold out, as well, so if you want to go riding--”

“A metal deathtrap.”

“--We’ll have to go soon.” I gritted my teeth again and caught Emmaline’s gaze out of the corner of my eye. “You never have anything helpful to add, do you?”

Emmaline was watching our exchange, eyes shimmering with something that I couldn’t place. But Warner could. I could read his movements better than his facial expressions, as he tilted his body in front of me. The lilac that had misted the air had turned frigid, but hadn’t disappeared. Not yet anyways. Emmaline placed her chin on the palm of her hand.

“Still trying to find a way to break your neck?”

How dare she pretend to be innocent. “Why? Decided to give it a go afterall?” I answered.

There was an ebb and flow to the frequencies that surrounded the table. Emmaline, ever the bringer of chaos, was upsetting my natural balance. I knew she would, hypothetically, and I could handle it. Hypothetically. But what I couldn’t handle was my sister trying to infuriate the both of us at the same time. Though that was what she did best wasn’t it?

“Tell us why you’re really here, Emmaline.” Warner’s voice was serious.

I stiffened as my sister’s lazy smile faded. “You already know, don’t you?”

“Tell her, then.”

“Or you will. I’m familiar with the threat, thank you.” She rolled her eyes and the childish glee she’d been playing with from the moment she’d hugged me, disappeared completely. If I could feel emotions like Warner, I’d suspect any cheerfulness in my sister had blown away, almost like it never existed. “Project Canary.”

My blood froze in my veins.

“They’ve completed it?”

Emmaline appraised Warner’s question, “They believe they have.”

“And that’s all that really matters.” His fingers tightened their grip on my hand and I squeezed back with just as much force. I couldn't feel the rest of my body, I was grasping for anything, and had settled on my power. It covered me like a blanket, extended itself to Warner and wrapped him in it as well. It was protecting us, it would protect us. But not from that, not if they had succeeded.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Emmaline chasitied. “As if I would let them create something powerful enough to neutralize Ella. I’m not an idiot.” That was a pointed statement if I ever heard one.

“What were you doing in Asia?” How could Warner be so calm?

“Testing it, obviously.”

He leaned back, “And?”

Emmaline was silent for a long time. Long enough that I began to count. I hated counting, more than anything. As much as I loved mathematics and sciences, the theory of numbers and how they could organize the entire universe, I despised counting with a passion. Because once I started, it was almost impossible to stop. To pull myself out of that scared little corner of my head that I only fell into against my own will.

1, 2, 3, 4…

Warner’s pointer finger tapped on the inside of my wrist.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t serious.” Emmaline continued, “I could have waited for my sister to come home to see her again, but it couldn’t wait. So, here I am.”

“Here you are.”

It was a message, it was a message and I couldn’t decipher it, but I would keep trying. For him. I focused on the feeling. The soft brushes of the pads of his fingers as they typed out a message to me and only me, heavily coded, even in his mind. Emmaline couldn’t read this, only I could. If I just--

“The Unnaturals they found in the last raid have been wiped out. Overseen by Supreme Commander Ibrahim and Mummy dearest, of course. It wasn’t a diplomatic mission, I lied, Nazeera and I watched the precessions.” Warner could no doubt see what Emmaline was recalling in her mind, “Their frequencies, their signatures, just vanished. Like they were dead.”

“But they weren’t dead, not when they disappeared.”

Emmaline nodded, “It was like a blackhole. I’ve never felt anything so… wrong.”

“I can understand that at least.” Warner went quiet again, and deep inside my mind where reality couldn’t touch me I felt all the more trapped losing that tether. I shut my eyes tightly. Without the sound of their voices, the darkness, the frequencies were consuming the edges of the room, and I could feel them sting across my skin. The hand that Warner held was the only place that cooled, like soaked in water, safe. “Love, you need to come back to us now.”

I was weak. How could I be falling apart so easily? Here the two of them were speaking calmly and I was falling apart at the dinner table. If Anderson saw me, if our mother heard--

27, 28, 29, 30…

“Thinking like that isn’t going to get you anywhere, sis.”

Warner’s free hand came up to tuck my hair behind my ear and slid down to cup the side of my face. It was like balm on a sunburn. If I could just move, then I could disappear into the circle of his arms where I would be safe, and loved, and

“Wake up, sweetheart.”

I gasped and the ticking of a clock. The numbers. The counting stopped.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to the both of them, my eyes trained on the tablecloth. Embarrassment, shame, weakness burned in my gut.

Warner stroked my temple, his eyes never left my face but Emmaline turned away and I had to restrain my own wince. My mind was not a serene place to be in at this moment, that was for damn sure. Maybe if she learned to stay out of my head then she wouldn’t read things she couldn’t stomach.

“But that wouldn’t be very fun, would it?” She mused.

Warner pursed his lips and answered her, gaze still trained on me. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Actually, I think that’s enough entirely. You passed on your information, Emmaline, go home.”

“Gladly,” she responded, “if my sister comes with me.”

“No,”

The noise was raw and strained, I wasn’t sure where it came from until I saw my sister’s eyes turn to me. There was a mix of pity and desperation in them that made me feel all the more sick to my stomach. Maybe she believed the best way to protect me was by us staying together, but if her information had solidified anything it was that I couldn’t return home. Not anytime soon anyway.

“Emma, I can’t.”

“And why not?” Emmaline stood to her full height. She towered over the table, but I could feel her unease rolling off her frequencies in waves. It had been awhile since I had fallen apart in front of her. Probably almost a decade.

“Mum, she plans to test it on me.” To my surprise, my lips didn’t quiver. “It will work.”

“And I’ll stop her.”

I shook my head. She didn’t understand, she couldn’t understand what losing my powers even for a moment would mean for me. The vulnerability that I hadn’t felt since I was a child. How stripping me of something so intertwined with my entire being would be alike to killing me. The fact that the Reestablishment could very well kill me using such an object.

I watched the warring emotions on my sister’s face as she considered my thoughts. I wished that I could read her own and understand why she would be so insistent that I return home with her. It didn’t work. Emmaline turned away from me, and away from the table, and walked back towards the door. We hadn’t even gotten the chance to eat anything. I hadn’t noticed until now.

“Els,” Emmaline called back to me. “I’ll see you in the morning. For training, yeah?”

She paused. I bit my lip, “Of course.”

And with that she nodded and left. The door slamming behind her with more force than necessary and a weight settling in my gut that I could be sure would disappear overnight. I glanced to Warner, his eyes still heavy on my face, and I found something in them that perfectly reflected how I felt. How this whole situation felt.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into the collar of his jacket. And I cried.

[the-shadow-of-atlantis]

All The Stars (Part 3)

Summary: Nova goes to Hogwarts

Tagging: @tarasxmarkovs @thespacebuns @melyaliz @coffee-randomness @speedypan

Nova looked up at the scarlet train her mouth hanging open in awe. This was it, she was going to Hogwarts she jumped excitedly in place then turned to face her parents… her parents. It slowly dawned on her that she was going to be away from her parents until Christmas. No coming home and doing her homework as her father went through reports. No baking with her mother on the weekends to have bread for the week.

“Nova honey what’s wrong?” Her mother asked as she kneeled down to be at eye level with her.

Nova simply hugged her mother tightly enjoying the feeling of having her mother hugging her back.

“I’m gonna miss you.” Nova mumbled as she tucked her head into the crook of her neck.

“I’m gonna miss you too starlight. But you will have so much fun, and you can write to us everyday with your new owl.” Her mother said pulling away and they both glanced at the Golden barn owl who was perched on his cage looking at everyone passing by curiously.

“And you will come home for Christmas.” Her father said kneeling down also and Nova quickly hugged him. “And before you know it the school year will be done and you will be home for the summer.”

Nova nodded as she hugged her father tightly, then pulled away and fixed her skirt.

“Now go our you’ll miss your train.” Her father whispered as he kissed her forehead. “I love you stardust.”

“I love you too papa.” Nova blinked, she didn’t want to cry.

She grabbed her trolley and wheeled it towards the train. It took her awhile to find an apartment but she finally found one that was empty, at least for now. She placed Apollo on one of the seat cushions and managed to get her clothes and school supplies trunk put away but she underestimated the weight of her book trunk and was having a bit of trouble. She glanced around as she took her wand out of the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

“Wingardium leviosa.” She whispered pointing her wand at the trunk and smiled as it began to hover.

“You know you’re not allowed to do magic outside of Hogwarts.” A voice said behind Nova making her squeak and lose her concentration, the trunk came crashing down and burst open.

She turned around and saw a boy who was looking very worried at the trunk that had crashed and spilled the books out. His grey eyes looked at her apologetically but blinked a little startled.

“You’re eyes are two different colors.” He stayed a little dumbstruck.

“Yes and? Didn’t your parents teach you it’s rude to sneak up on people.” Nova huffed as she kneeled down and began picking up her books.

“Sorry.” The boy said helping her in getting her books. “I was just trying to avoid you getting in trouble.”

“Technically the rule isn’t you can’t do magic outside of Hogwarts it’s you can’t do magic in front of muggles.” Nova countered his question that interrupted her. “And I’m pretty sure you’re not a muggle.”

The boy smiled as he handed her a small pile of her books. “No I’m not a muggle but you still could have just asked for help.”

“I was doing perfectly well till you scared me.” Nova said as she closed her trunk and got up. “But now that you are here can you help me?”

The boy nodded and together they hauled the trunk up and set it in place.

“So what’s your name?” The boy asked.

“Nova.” She replied holding her hand out. “And yours?”

“Cedric.” He smiled shaking her hand. “Do you mind if I sit here too?”

Nova shrugged she figured she wasn’t going to get any privacy anyways. Cedric put his things away as Nova sat down giving Apollo a small scratch on his head through the cage.

“Is this your second year at Hogwarts?” Cedric asked as he sat down.

“No.” Nova responded as she grabbed her bag and pulled out a book, but her response made Cedric frown.

“Then how were you able to do that spell?” He asked. “This can’t possibly be your first year.”

“In a way it is.” Nova said as she looked up at Cedric. “My mother had me homeschooled my first year. This is my second year but my first year at Hogwarts.”

“Homeschooled?”

“Yes, I had a professor come to my house and teach me the subject I would normally learn in my first year.”

“Why were you homeschooled?” Cedric asked looking at her curiously.

“My mother wanted me to go to muggle school one last year.”

“You’re a muggle?”

“Part.”

“You mean half.”

“No I mean part. The only muggle in my family is my Grandfather Jacob, my mother is a squib.”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be, my mother is very happy with her life she’s a very well respected doctor.”

“A what?”

Nova paused trying to think of what would be the equivalent in the wizard world.

“Healer. A muggle healer.” Nova stated with a nod as she opened her bag.

“What about your father?” He asked.

“He’s an auror.” Nova said as she pulled out her Walkman. “Now I was hoping to listen to some music before we got to Hogwarts do you have anymore questions?”

“Just one, what’s that?” He asked pointing to the device in her hands.

“It’s a Walkman.”

“It doesn’t look like a person.” Cedric said and Nova giggled making him blink, it was a cute giggle.

“It’s not suppose to look like a person. It’s called a Walkman because you can listen to music wherever you go.” Nova explained as she unraveled her headphones. “The only downside is that I can’t play this at Hogwarts the magical interference won't let it work properly once we get there.”

Nova smiled at Cedric as she plugged the headphones in and pressed play. The door to their compartment opened and a couple of boys and a girl poked their heads in, they seemed to have been looking for Cedric because they began talking to him. Nova happily tuned them out as she listened to her music and looked through her book.

After sometime she felt a tap against her book, looking up she glanced at Cedric before taking off her headphones.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Do you want something from the trolley?” He asked glancing over at the door where an elderly woman stood with a cart full of treats.

“Oh yes.” Nova said as she dug through her bag. “Excuse me. I’ll have a chocolate frog, a cauldron cake, and two pumpkin pasties.”

Suddenly Apollo hooted and Nova sighed.

“Make that four pumpkin pasties.” The woman smiled as she gave Nova her things.

“You spoiled little thing.” Nova smiled as she gave Apollo a piece of the pumpkin pastie.

“He’s beautiful.” The girl said smiling at the bird who was happily pecking at his pastie.

“Say thank you Apollo.” Nova said and the owl hooted.

“So Cedric says you were homeschooled your first year.” One of the boys said looking at Nova curiously.

“Did he now?” Nova asked raising an eyebrow at Cedric who was looking at her apologetically again.

“I didn’t want to disturb your reading and they were asking questions about you.” Cedric shrugged making Nova sigh.

“Yes I was homeschooled. My mother wanted me to take one more year of muggle classes.”

“So you’re muggle.” The other boy asked.

“Only part.” Nova clarified. “What about you? Are you pure, half, or muggle?”

“Oh well um.”

“I’m Jaimie, muggle.” The girl smiled warmly. “Those two are Lou and Sam they’re pure blood and dont mind them they just love asking questions about muggles. Love your Walkman by the way wish I had thought to bring mine.”

Nova relaxed a bit at Jaimes words and smiled.

“Thank you. It was a birthday gift from my grandfather.”

“So if this is the first time you are coming to Hogwarts then does that mean you don't belong to a house yet?” Sam asked and this time everyone stared at her very curiously.

“Um no. I’m suppose to meet up with Professor McGonagall so I can go through my sorting.”

“Oh I wonder what house you’ll be in.” Lou said and smiled. “Hope you’re in hufflepuff.”

“Lou.” Jaime scolded.

“Please with all the reading she just did bet shes a Ravenclaw.” Sam said.

“Sam.” This time it was Cedric who did the scolding. “It doesn’t matter what house you’re in. We’d be glad to have you as a friend.”

Nova nodded smiling as she gave Apollo his other pumpkin pastie and he hooted happily.

The rest of the train ride Nova and Jaime talked about music. Nova found it a bit funny that Jaime liked the disco music but promised to give it a chance when they got back to the muggle world. Nova frowned when the Walkman began to act up.

“We’re getting close.” Nova stated as she started packing up her things.

“Oh we need to change come on.” Jaime said as she took Novas hand and helped her find a place to change.

“Who’s Hagrid?” Nova asked as she finished straightening out her skirt.

“Oh he’s not hard to miss. He’s our gatekeeper and you’ll hear him shouting as soon as we get off. Why?”

“Oh, cause he’s the one who’s supposed to take me to McGonagall.” Nova explained as they walked back to their compartment.

“You behave.” Nova said to her bird who gave her hoot as if slightly offended.

She said goodbye to everyone when she got off and headed towards where she could hear Hagrid shouting. Jaime was right about one thing he was definitely not hard to miss. Hagrid towered over the sea of students the first years standing near him a little frightened.

“Hello Mr. Hagrid?” Nova said as she stood in front of him.

“Huh? Oh hello there, are yer a first year?” He asked as he looked down to see her.

“No, I’m Nova, you’re supposed to take me to see McGonagall.” Nova explained.

“Oh! Right yer the special student. Alright stay with me you’ll be going with the first years on the boats.” He smiled as he talked and Nova nodded.

Hagrid was very friendly and Nova listened as he rambled on about the school and his job there.

“So you help take care of the magical creatures?” Nova asked as she got into the boat.

“Yup I keep an eye out for the ones that live in the forest too.”

“Wow. That must be fun.”

“Yer a fan of magical creatures.”

“They are very useful for many things, even the ones that people don't quite understand or think are annoying. They just need to be studied better and not harmed just because they don't look friendly.” Nova said.

Hagrid chuckled and patted her so hard she almost flew out of the boat.

“Yer alright little one.”

Nova fixed her robe as she got off the boat and quickly followed Hagrid. She looked around at the castle, the last time she had been here she had seen the castle during the day. Now seeing it in the dark with all its lights on it seemed a bit daunting. She stayed close to Hagrid as they entered and went up the steps where an elderly looking woman stood waiting.

“Professor McGonagall this is Nova.” Hagrid said as he gently pushed her forward.

“Ah, yes Miss Vinci. You will go first during the ceremony and every head boy and girl has been informed about you so that they can show you to your place properly.” Professor McGonagall explained.

Nova nodded. “Thank you ma’am.”

“Right, follow me children.” Professor McGonagall ordered and everyone began to follow her into the dinning hall.

Nova spotted Dumbledore sitting at the center where all the professors were. The small group of students paused and then Professor McGonagall brought out an old hat and small stool. When she placed the hat on the stool it began to sing.

If Nova has to be honest she tuned out most of what it said something about the different houses and what they mean. Her eyes wandered around the room looking at the floating candles and banners of all the houses, this was where she’ll be staying at for the school year. She slightly registered the hat stop singing and Dumbledore standing to give a speech that again she didn’t really quite hear.

“Now before we begin our normal sorting ceremony we do have a late student. One who would have joined us last year but do to circumstances is just now coming to Hogwarts.” Dumbledore's words cut Nova out of her trance and she heard murmurs from all the students.

“Irina Vinci, Nova.” McGonagall called from her spot next to the stool now holding the hat.

Nova smoothed her hands over her robe again trying to keep her heart from leaping out of her chest. She wasn’t sure how fast she was walking the next thing she knew she was already sitting on the stool with Professor McGonagall lowering the hat on her head.

“Well now let's see here.” She heard a voice in her head and even though her father had told her this part it still made her jump a bit.

“I see I see you are a very loyal girl hmm make a nice Hufflepuff but no, no not quite. Very intelligent possible Ravenclaw, mm no there’s more. Much more oh yes I see you like to prove yourself, prove your worth, ah yes. SLYTHERIN.”

The hat was taken off and the far right side was thundering with applause and whoops. Nova stood up smoothing down her skirt one last time and smiling at her table as she made her way over. But right before she sat down she caught a quick glimpse of Cedric from the Hufflepuff table with a bit of sad look. She wasn’t able to ponder on it too much because she was soon swarmed by her house mates.