#he does a fantastic job as hannibal but I do not need to see him everywhere I promise

[an-emergency-contact]

!!!!Small Spoiler Warning for the first episode of Prodigal Son!!!!

Ok, I just watched the first episode of Prodigal Son- *takes a deep breath* It. Is. Amazing. I love it so far. Malcolm is a brilliant character and I can't wait to see how he develops throughout the show. I am also really looking forward to more of Dr. Whitley, who's actor is Michael Sheen, he's doing a fantastic job. I'm still not quite sure if Dr. Whitley truly misses his son, which I think he does even though he's a sociopath(they diagnose him more specifically in the episode, I just can't remember the exact term).

He can still miss his son, BUT he may only miss him because 1. Malcolm is the only one who visits him and he is his son or 2. Dr. Whitley wants to see how his son will turn out with his influence. But, judging by the first episode, I really think that Dr. Whitley just misses his son. Sure he wants to teach his son about murder, which isn't very good small talk, but he looked genuinely scared at the thought that his son would never visit him again. Not to mention, when his son asks for help in identifying a possible suspect as the copycat killer, Dr. Whitley says that he can't help the police and that it goes against what he stands for. However, Dr. Whitley helps anyway, only so that his son will visit again.

So, at this point I think that Dr. Whitley just wants his son back, which may or may not end with Malcolm's mental state deteriorating.

In conclusion, I'm in love with this show already and looking forward to how these characters develop and how the plot goes. Now I'm probably going to watch Hannibal, because Prodigal Son feels a lot like it and I need some more psychological murder until the next episode.

[douxreviews]

The Avengers (2012) Review

"We have a Hulk."

I'll get right to the point; I loved it. I absolutely freaking loved it. And that is me being restrained. And by restrained I mean with actual restraints. I am actually dictating this to a friend while I'm strapped down like Hannibal Lecter. It is too dangerous to let me anywhere near a keyboard right now. Everything I write will just be a mass of overly excited hyperbole gibberish.

A film like The Avengers just shouldn't work. As it was in the comics, this is a film that sees Earth's Mightiest Heroes coming together to stop Thor's mad brother Loki from taking over the world. With so many famous heroes battling it out for screentime, The Avengers should collapse under its own weight before the title has even popped up on screen. But, against all the odds, it works and works beautifully. And a lot of this can be attributed to the hard work of one man, Joss Whedon.

Oh, Joss Whedon. How do I describe Joss Whedon? Joss Whedon is flawless. I hear what's left of his hair's insured for $10,000. I hear he does car commercials... in Japan. His favourite movie is Night of the Comet. One time he met Steven Moffat on a plane...and he told him that he broke fans' hearts without mercy. One time he plunged his fist into my chest, ripped out my heart, stomped on it for a total of four series and one movie, then gave it back to me and charged me for the experience. It was awesome.

The Avengers is unquestionably the biggest endeavour Whedon has ever embarked upon. Can he handle it? Of course he can. He might not have an extensive background in summer blockbusters, but any Buffy fan can tell you that he's a skilled director and an even better writer with a great gift for character and dialogue. He might not have created them but Whedon clearly understands each and every one of these characters. Because of this, some of the film's best moments end up just being people in a room bonding and bickering with each other. Whedon also makes great use of his entire cast. He understand that this is an ensemble piece and takes care to ensure that no one hero is given precedence over everyone else. Everyone is given their moment to shine.

That said, Robert Downey Jr. still swaggers off with every scene he's in and nabs most (but not all) of the film's best lines. Luckily, Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth are both able to hold their own against the onslaught of Downey Jr. charisma. As Loki, Tom Hiddleston is clearly having a lot of fun without once resorting to hammy scenery chewing. He also gets bonus points for pulling off Loki's distinctive headgear. Mark Ruffalo does a fantastic job taking over from Edward Norton, giving us a terrific Bruce Banner. Better yet, the CGI department finally delivers when it comes to his big green alter-ego. Along with looking like Ruffalo, this Hulk manages to steal the whole film. I won't say how because that would spoil the surprise.

On the S.H.I.E.L.D. side of things, Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel L. Jackson. Nuff said. Clark Gregg continues to expertly steal scenes as the deadpan Agent Phil Coulson, revealed here to be a massive Captain America fanboy (nice one, Joss). Cobie Smulders impresses as Maria Hill, despite being given little to do. After being a little one-note in Iron Man 2, Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow benefits the most from Whedon's involvement. There was no way he was going to have a kick-ass female character in his movie and not give her some personality and depth.

The Avengers succeeds where other superhero movies have failed by delivering one hell of a final act. Let's face it, as much fun as it is seeing these characters arguing and bonding with each other, what we really want to see is them kicking alien ass. We've never seen superhero action on this kind of epic scale before. All throughout the team's big battle with Loki's army in Manhattan I had a massive grin on my face and constantly had to resist urge to start jumping around the cinema cheering like a total loon.

Faults? Some of the CGI is a little iffy in places. Alan Silvestri's score is just as forgettable as every one he's done since Back to the Future. And Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye is seriously underused for first half of the film. But those are still minor quibbles. Bottom line, The Avengers is one of the most purely enjoyable experiences I have had at the cinema in a very long time.

Notes and Quotes

— While Iron Man, Cap, Thor and Hulk are close to how Stan Lee and Jack Kirby envisaged them, the rest of the film owes a massive debt to Mark Miller and Bryan Hitch's Ultimates series (still the best thing to come out of Marvel's Ultimate line).

— In The Ultimates, Miller and Hitch re-imagined Nick Fury and based him on Samuel L. Jackson.

— If you're willing, stick through the end credits to find out who the Avengers might be facing next. Many of you will be excited, even more of you will have no idea who those other people are talking about.

— The aliens in Loki's army are called the Chitauri, which is the name of the Skrulls in Marvel's Ultimate Universe. So they are basically Skrulls.

— The Avengers is the culmination of five films worth of set up. So be warned, if you haven't seen any of the previous Marvel films, then chances are you'll be a little confused.

— Whedon vets Alexis Denisof, Ashley Johnson and Enver Gjokaj all put in appearances. Have fun spotting them. There are also cameos from the likes of Powers Boothe, Jenny Agutter, the great Harry Dean Stanton and, of course, Stan Lee.

Nick Fury: “There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, so when we needed them, they could fight the battles that we never could.”

Bruce Banner: “Last time I was in New York I kind of broke... Harlem.”

Tony Stark: “There is no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top! Maybe your army will come, maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you! Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it!”

Steve Rogers: “Big man, in a suit of armour... take that away, what are you?” Tony Stark: “Uh... genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

Steve Rogers: “Hulk? Smash!”

Thor: “Be careful how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he's of Asgard and he's my brother.” Black Widow: “He killed 80 people in 2 days.” Thor: “...He's adopted.”

Michael Bay, please take note, this is what you get when you don't sacrifice character and story for lots of stuff blowing up. Four out of four Hulks who smash and smash good!

Mark Greig has been writing for Doux Reviews since 2011.

[kelleyschorn]

Kelley Reviews: Tag (Spoiler Edition)

*If you’ve already read my non spoiler review of this movie, skip to after the SPOILERS sign!

Quick word about the movie poster I chose for this review: It’s not my favorite one because this one kind of makes the movie look stupid but I went with image resolution over image content.

That being said, I was hooked on this movie since I first saw the trailer. The concept was original and it even had the added interest of it being based on a true story, “we’re not kidding”. So many things drew me to this movie from the plot to the fantastic trailer and then there’s the amazing cast. Tag is a comedy inspired by a real group of ten friends who have been playing the game of tag since high school. There is a great video on youtube that gives a more in depth look at the real story that you can find right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8C-VFbP-JQ

Because this reality acts as more of a writing prompt than a fully realized story, the writers for Tag exercised their own creative liberties when telling the story inspired by this amazing group of friends. There are hundreds of potential stories that could come from this prompt and I think the writers were smart to pare down the cast from ten to five so as to make a story that was more easily grasped. The movie centers on Ed Helms’ character, Hoagie, and his goal of finally tagging their impossible-to-catch friend Jerry, appropriately played by Hawkeye—I mean Jeremy Renner. Lately I’ve been a bit put off by comedies that rely heavily on jokes centering on sex and hoping that this will convince the audience that the crappy plot is worth overlooking for the crass punch lines. That being said, movies like Game Night and Tag have been a breath of fresh air in comparison. While both do have similar jokes throughout, they also have a good plot to stand on making room for situational humor to shine through.

While some critics disliked Tag, saying that it lacked the fun loving essence of the true tale it draws from, I would say that those critics missed the point of the movie. Without giving anything away, I would say that this movie exemplifies the importance of staying young, even when you get older. It does a great job of portraying the realities of keeping up with old friends and the fact that, while you may not see them as often as you did in high school, when you get together, it’s like no time has passed. Not only does Tag give you all of those warm and fuzzy things, but it also delivers them in a hilarious way! I saw this movie with my mom and sister and we were dying laughing throughout. The all-star cast definitely helped with this as well as the quality of the story itself.

The plot was kind of all over the place with some seemingly pointless subplots and some downright unbelievable moments but overall, I would say that this is a solid comedy and it stands out among others in its genre.

WHAT WORKED

The cast. What an awesome cast for a comedy am I right? I love Ed Helms because the Office (duh). I love Jake Johnson because I know him from New Girl. And I love Jeremy Renner because he is Hawkeye and he basically plays Hawkeye in this movie and I was all for it. Of course I also love Rashida Jones and I felt that she was a bit underused in this movie. If a less talented cast had been chosen, I would not have liked this movie nearly as much as I did. I especially feel that Ed Helms did an exceptional job seeing as how his role required more seriousness than his fellow cast members.

The plot. Yes there were issues with the plot, but what worked for me was the direction they chose to take the story in. Also the fact that they chose a direction in the first place. Like I said above, the original story acts as writing prompt and I think that that is pretty cool. This is what the writers came up with based on that prompt and I or you or anyone else would have come up with something completely different. They had to create a fully fleshed out story from that one tiny prompt! Writing is so cool! Ok nerd-out over. Anyways what worked for me about the plot were the more serious” themes of friendship and the importance of staying young, even when you get old. Despite it being a comedy, I found these themes, and the implementation of them touching. Also the twist at the end was unexpected and pulled off really well by Ed Helms. I didn’t believe it at first but once I knew it was real, it added so much depth and clarity to the story. Again, props to you Ed for pulling that character off so well. I also loved how they included a lot of the real life epic tags from the source inspiration seamlessly into the plot—the tagging at the funeral, the dressing up as an old lady.

The characters. The characters for me is where the comedic elements in this movie really shined. Such a wide range of characters for some epically hilarious interactions. I loved Hoagie signing up to be a janitor despite his “PHD in veterinary science and a flourishing practice” (I’m paraphrasing but you get it). Randy and all of his weed jokes were great and the scene where he’s smoking in the basement with his friends reminded me of That 70’s Show. Jerry was made even more funny to me because he was played by Jeremy Renner. I could totally see Hawkeye being all about this and being this hardcore in the Marvel Universe. (I know I said the nerd moment was over but I lied—sorry!) Hannibal Buress had some funny moments as Sable but some of them fell flat. I felt like his character lacked some of the cohesion the other’s had, like they couldn’t really decide what comedic angle they wanted to go with him so with his tragic back story some of the jokes just felt a bit awkward.

The funny. A lot of the jokes came from the absurdity of their situation and I loved that! They didn’t have to rely heavily on cheap sexual jokes (the adult version of fart jokes) to be funny. The premise and the characters themselves created hilarious scenarios for the viewer’s entertainment.

Small highlight to the parts where they show the gang as kids and how this game started and then it shows them as adults driving next to those kids as a transition—that part was genius!

WHAT DIDN’T WORK

The plot. Ok so here’s my issue, some of these subplots just didn’t really add anything to the movie for me. The Randy Vs. Callahan romance subplot. This was unnecessary. I do love Rashida Jones but this did not add anything to main plot other than (maybe) some more characterization of the characters. I don’t think it was needed and I don’t think it added anything significant to the plot other than a distraction for those characters that causes them to miss Jerry and that could have been done by a lot of other things, (Randy could have gotten too high, Callahan could have been distracted by flirting with the reporter). The other subplot that I have some issues with is the reporter. She was literally only there as an interpreter for the audience so that we would know what was going on. She never really advances the plot and doesn’t ever cause any sort of drama with the group. She’s static and could have been used better. I’m not saying that it wasn’t a clever way to clue the audience in, but I think they could have paired her with Callahan as a romantic interest (I shipped it) to at least give her some sort of importance. Or as a more extreme fix, I would have taken her out altogether and had one of the guys, maybe Hoagie, narrate and explain various things throughout—though I’m more in favor of the love interest thing because she did bring some comedic elements of just not knowing what’s going on.

The scene at the wedding shower. Specifically the giant traps and the extremes Jerry went through to mess with his friends took me out of the story a bit. I get that it was supposed to funny how absolutely ridiculously into the game these grown men were but some of the jerry stunts pushed it a bit too far for me.

The characters. I already explained my issues with Sable and the reporter but the other characters that didn’t quite work for me were Cheryl (Rashida) and Hoagie’s mom. Hoagie’s mom felt like a lazy character to me. Like the writer’s forgot about her until the end and were like, oh wait, how can we make her funny? Let’s just make her into one of her son’s friends. I thought maybe it would have been funnier to have her be one of those completely unaware types, like all this stuff is happening around her and whenever she finally looks around, it’s all gone. And then Cheryl, her plotline was doomed from the start but as far as that subplot goes, what smart woman in her right mind chooses the unemployed broke pothead living with his dad over smart successful Callahan in a choice between two exes?? Ok rant over. That character had no real purpose in the story, I say cut her out.

While I did have all those issues, I did thoroughly enjoy this movie. I laughed a lot and was fully entertained. I would highly recommend this movie it was a fun one! Unfortunately I do not have a ticket stub to show for this movie because the theater I went to screwed me over! I’m just not going to go to that theater anymore, It’s not worth losing my precious ticket stubs!

Let me know what you think of this review and what you thought of Tag! If you liked this review please share it! Stay tuned for the next one: The Incredibles 2!

[brigdh]

Yuletide recs, for fandoms A-M! I have just barely gotten this in before author reveals, and clearly still have half the alphabet to get through. Ah, well. First off, my own gift!! Water Lens Benjamin January, gen, 2.4k, Teen. “The good widow couldn't dump you in the fast section of the river, apparently,” January said. “It had to be the mud.” “If she'd only panicked five minutes earlier,” Rose agreed with a sigh. “We were on the bridge then – although given the state of that particular river I wouldn't necessarily put money on it being that much cleaner.” All my all favorite story tropes are here: bathing together and playing with hair and the OT3 and Rose doing science and there’s even a mystery to solve in here too! It is wonderful and I love it and everyone should give the mystery author more kudos. And here are my other favorites: so come home 12 Dancing Princesses fairy tale, gen, 21.5k, G. A detective is called to a space station to solve the mystery of whether--and how--twelve astronauts are accessing the surface of a forbidden planet. A very well-written sci-fi murder mystery, with great worldbuilding and characters. Recruits American Gods, Mr Wednesday and Mad Sweeney, 4.2k, G. The Norse god of battle and a mad Irish king walk into a bar. This is not a joke, my son: except in a sense, it is. They are Old Gods, it’s the New World, and the game must be kept going. Really great backstory on the gods in WWI. The Locust And I Awoke and Found Me Here on the Cold Hill's Side - James Tiptree Jr., 2.2k, Mature. Letter of Fr. Francisco Nadal to Fr. Bartolomeo Strozzi, 1588. The original short story is about the horrifying effects on humanity of alien sexuality; this fic translates it into Imperial Spain and makes the different cultural setting really work. Because everyone needs some terror on Christmas! And on the seventh... Aubrey-Maturin Series - Patrick O'Brian, Jack/Stephen, 11k, G. This decision might be considered the luckiest, as standing near Jack meant that Stephen was not alone in his fall overboard. Or it might be considered the unluckiest, as standing near Jack meant that Stephen was foremost in the splinters' path, when the ranging shot abruptly found its range. Desert island fic with H/C, angst, kissing in the ocean, and new species of birds. AKA, everything good in fic. And for that riches where is my deserving? Benjamin January mysteries, Ben/Rose/Hannibal, 1.8k, Teen. If Ben was honest with himself, he suspected that one day Hannibal might simply vanish from their lives. He desperately hoped that this was not the day. Delicious Hannibal whump plus the OT3! What more could anyone want out of the tiny fandom of my heart? Family Gathering Books of the Raksura, Moon-focused, 2.8k, G. After some of Jade and Moon's first clutch are confirmed to be Royal Aeriat, Pearl wants the fledgelings brought to her bower. Ember thinks Moon should be there too. Really adorable baby-fic, with some lovely Pearl characterization. Home Books of the Raksura, Consolation gen, 4.1k, G. It turned out that living like people instead of monsters required all sorts of skills and tools. Cleaning required soap, and some inkling of how to apply it. Consolation’s flight, having been raised by monsters, not people, had none of the requisite skills. This is the post-canon fic about how Consolation learns to be a person that was my greatest wish for Christmas, and it's everything I could have hoped for. Mordre, She Wroot Canterbury Tales, Wife of Bath-focused, 8k, G. At least one pilgrim will not make it to Canterbury. Yes, you ABSOLUTELY DO need the Wife of Bath solving murders in your life. Just trust me on this. Underworlds: The Life and Afterlife of Richard Upton Pickman Cthulhu mythos, gen, 3.7k, G. Explore the life, works and enduring influence of Richard Upton Pickman, a controversial artist of the early 20th century. This exhibition includes several paintings never before displayed in public, including all of Pickman's graphic, unsettling "horrors" currently remaining in North America. The Boston Globe called Underworlds "stomach-turning food for thought"— but decide for yourself! Young children may find Pickman's paintings frightening; parents are advised to consider carefully before allowing them to proceed. This program serves as a guide to the exhibit. Audio versions for your mobile phone are available at the Parrington museum website. Such a well-done pastiche of a museum guide to a series of horrifying paintings. What Is Begotten The Eagle of the Ninth, Marcus/Esca, 7.5k, Teen. Esca learns the Latin word by accident, from Stephanos of all people. Soul-mate. A soulmate AU with an absolutely lovely take on the canon. Of Devils and Other Fine Things Fallen London, The Wistful Deviless/Zee-Captain, 1.1k, G. Wooing a devil can only end in tears. Really fantastic interpretation of what a relationship with a devil really means. head above water Gattaca, Jerome-focused, 1.2k, G. “Do you know,” Jerome’s mother asks his coach, “how Jerome first started swimming? Did he ever tell you that story?” Absolutely wonderful backstory for Jerome. Suspect Gattaca, Anton Freeman-focused, 1.8k, G. Five things Anton thought upon seeing Vincent was a suspect for murder (and one thing he said). Lovely character study on a minor part of the movie, this feel so right. Attempt #534: The One With The Bees The Good Place, Chidi/Eleanor, 8k, Explicit. “Eleanor!” Chidi looks even more upset as he blurts out, “The universe doesn’t want us to have sex, okay?” Eleanor chokes. “I’m sorry, what?” In which Eleanor and Chidi repeatedly try – and fail – to have sex. Totally hilarious, and also hot. Care and Feeding of Your Janet The Good Place, Janet-focused, 1.2k, Teen. Please read this guide carefully before activating your Janet. So, so, so funny. Operation: Seduce Michael The Good Place, Michael/Everyone, 2.3k, Teen. If at first you don't succeed, send a different cockroach. Really hilarious fic about the plan to seduce Michael, with pitch-perfect character voices and humor just like the show's. so slip your hand inside of my glove The Handmaiden, Hideko/Sook-hee, 2.6k, Teen. Hideko lets Sook-hee teach her how to distinguish sapphire from spinel and obediently bites the gold Sook-hee brings back to her. Hideko and Sook-hee, after. A post-canon fic that is beautiful and just perfection. Who's Got Who The Hateful Eight, Chris Mannix/Marquis Warren, 6.7k, Explicit. Warren makes inventive use of Mannix's sheriff star. And, for that matter, inventive use of Mannix. He thinks that will be the end of it. You know, as much as love Hateful Eight, I never expected to begin shipping Mannix/Warren. What can I say but that this fandom has some damn good writers? And they know their porn; good lord this one is hot. As Ice in the Desert Historical RPF, Richard I "The Lionheart" of England/Saladin, 2.3k, Teen. Saladin visits Richard's sickbed with fruit, and a question in his eyes. Gorgeously written, really some of the most beautiful descriptions I've read in quite a while. Two people on the opposite sides of the Crusades in a moment of peace. all the nameless that keeps us rising despite IT, Stan/Richie/Beverly, 4k, Teen. When Stan went over to Richie’s house after dinner to tutor him for their math test tomorrow he thought he knew exactly what he was signing up for. Beautiful depiction of loss and love and a game of spin-the-bottle. Epilogue Jane Eyre, Jane-focused, 3.4k, Mature. Not everything, Jane learns early on, is real. Deeply creepy alternative interpretation of the canon. I love this possibility. How Else Would Sailing Ships Ever Have Navigated? Jeeves, Madeline Bassett/Honoria Glossop, 2.3k, G. “Do you think,” Madeline said to Honoria as the more impressive parts of nature gradually crept up upon them, “that all daffodils are the daughters of sunlight?” Absolutely adorable fic for some minor characters with a pitch-perfect tone for the canon. the worlds that spin beyond our atmosphere Jupiter Ascending, Jupiter/Caine, 7.8k, Teen. When Jupiter woke up, there was a small metal sphere on the pillow beside her. She blinked at it, because it certainly had not been there when she had gone to bed the night before. Then Aunt Nino began to stir and grumble as she too woke up and Jupiter snatched up the sphere, lobbing it hastily into her half-packed suitcase on her way to go and make the coffee. In which Jupiter is propositioned by a space travel agency (but fancier!) and introduces Caine to her family. Gorgeous worldbuilding and wonderful expansion of the canon. I love the descriptions of other planets in here. Damsel King Arthur (2017), Arthur/The Mage, 3k, Teen. In which there's a girl, a dragon, and a castle, and Arthur resolves not to let the truth get in the way of a good story. Totally hilarious and a great fit with the canon. Those parts, which maids keep unespy'd Kushiel's Legacy, Phedre/Joscelin, 1.9k, Explicit. There are few things Phedre has never done. There's one she's never done with Joscelin. Wonderful hot and sweet fic. Het anal, which is rare to see in fanfiction, but so very well-done here. Midwinter Queen The Lion in Winter, Henry/Eleanor, 1.6k, G. Christmas at Chinon, 1183. Conversation gambits keep the Christmas fires burning. Cynical and regretful and funny and heavy, this story does a better job of capturing the voice of the canon than almost any I've read. By Degrees Mansfield Park, Mary Crawford/Fanny Price, 16.6k, Mature. Her conscience had been disturbed, and she could no longer dislike Mary Crawford enough to be safe from her, if such a thing had ever been possible at all. Really excellent slow-burn for one of my favorite Austen ships, and the Fanny characterization is just ideal. Canada Gold Mean Girls, Regina George/Janis Ian, 3.9k, Teen. Regina joined the CIA to catch bad guys. Unfortunately, this time, that meant she had to work with Janis. Yeah, so it turns out that the thing that's been missing from my life is Mean Girls f/f rival spies future-fic. I am so, so glad that this story exists because it's amazing.

[jlf23tumble]

(1/?) Hi – x files anon here, from @alienfuckeronmain’s blog. I saw your reblog and now have more thoughts! About what you said about first season mulder and scully characterizations – I don’t know about “high-talker” but I just watched the pilot, and pilot-Mulder is just.. *off*. Way, way too hyper and manic, with the crazy theories and the pressured speech. I mean, it’s a pilot, and we have make allowances for the fact that the show hadn’t settled into

(2/?) what it was going to be, but I’m glad that they toned down that part of his characterization, because it made it even more implausible that someone like him would be working at the FBI. Also… I know that the premise of this show that you have to accept is that Mulder will ultimately be proven right, but I just can’t help watching those first episodes as an adult and thinking, “oh Scully, you’ve got SUCH a promising career ahead of you. PLEASE don’t hitch your wagon to this nutcase.”

(3/?) And for the wardrobe stuff… I guess I never really noticed early-season Mulder having a bad wardrobe. But then again, Duchovny was hot in anything, and everything – including those high-waisted 90s jeans – looked good on him. The man had a seriously beautiful body, but one that didn’t look like it was chiselled out of clay, or synthetically made in some gym-lab the way Hollywood male bodies typically look.

(4/?) As for Scully’s wardrobe, I kinda like the characterization of it being a bit plain and unvarnished. She’s obviously very early on in her career, and she spent her 20s in med school and residency, where your wardrobe is limited to scrubs and jeans and sweats with the name of your undergrad school stamped on them, so I totally buy that she doesn’t have a clear idea of what a high-achieving career woman should dress like.

(5/?)And I see both sides of the argument – Gillian Anderson is a pretty lady, and maybe she’s not as conventionally pretty as Duchovny, so the wardrobe frumpiness weighs more heavily on her, so it would be nice if they dressed her up a bit better. But, I’m more of the opinion that… sigh… why does everyone have to be glammed up? They’re government agents, not fashion models. The frumpiness fits, no?

(6/?)And as I’m writing this, I wonder if the earlier suit choices were an homage to Clarice Starling – didn’t she look a bit frumpy, with kind of the same brown gingham jacket that scully had in the pilot, that Hannibal mocked her for? I also clicked on your links for x files fanfic, and omg the internet was soooo cute back then! I wanna pinch its cheeks! I’ve been hitting AO3 for M/K fanfic, but I’ll try those too – thanks! If you’ve got any specific recs though, I would love to hear them!

-------------

HELLO TO YOU, TOO, X Files anon! I’m so glad @alienfuckeronmain sent you my way because yes, yes, I can talk about these topics for hours and hours, and I’ll try to keep it at a normal level for everyone else, but it’s Halloween! If you can’t go awf about these two today of all days, when can you? Apart from 2/23 and 10/13, amirite?? Before we get too far into casting and clothing, I’m going to rec a fabulous time-waster from mid-fandom times, and that’s Jessica’s brilliant recaps on Television without Pity....here’s the link to the X Files in general (they’re ranked from most recent, and don’t ask me why, but there are a ton of gaps??? Are these just Jessica’s greatest hits or what?). but if you read nothing else, check out the recap for the pilot here because it does a FANTASTIC job of gently mocking everything about the place where it all started (and the manic high talking).

You are absolutely right on the money about the link to Clarice Starling, she seems to be the blueprint for early Scully in all kinds of way, and if you watch the pilot, you, much like Mulder, will wonder exactly who she pissed off to draw the short card here, but she’s eager and curious and coming from med school, and he’s a total pariah (not wrongfully so), and she was hired by the Cigarette Smoking Man and Blevins and the other assholes running the joint to basically spy on him (worst case) and discredit him (best case), but that’s not how it all pans out. 

I think the beauty of this show, especially in its earlier days, was that Mulder was not always right--he usually had wild hunches and went for it, but a lot of credit went to Scully for actually trying to ground his crazy ass in cold, hard facts. Spooky Mulder was in the basement for a reason, and one thing I loved about this show was that he totally Got It, he could mock her hard on for science all he wanted, but he also appreciated the credibility she brought to the operation, and he respected the hell out of her. Hard to believe how ground-breaking that was and still is, tbh. To me, some of the more interesting episodes in that regard were when they switched POVs: when Scully was faced with something related to her faith that made her believe something she couldn’t see or prove, and how whatever that thing was turned Mulder into a scathing asshole skeptic, how he couldn’t believe she’d “fall for that crap” when he basically fell for it every day. Much to think about, or so the writers were hoping, lmao.

As for casting, I’ve read alllllll the interviews, and from what Chris Carter says, Fox (of course) wanted someone who was hotter, more of the “Pam Anderson” type to be Scully, so the studio fought hard against casting her, but everyone, including Duchovny, pushed to keep her, which was pretty amazing when you consider how young she was, the overall lack of a budget here, and just what a weird show it was in context. She got pregnant a year or so into it, but by then, Scully was rock solid, and it turned into a pretty great storyline, so no worries.

As for clothes, even to this DAY, I have friends in Washington who swear there’s a deliberate style of dress for certain offices to prove how “serious” you are about your work, and this would have been doubly true for 1990s FBI...one of the gripes was that in later years, Armani or someone was dressing Mulder, and Scully had this killer wardrobe, and howwwwww on their budgets and with these types of jobs? Won’t someone think of the GS-10 pay grade???

Anyway, I’ll shut up now, but I love people revisiting it from day one! It’s probably even MORE dated with every passing day, but check out all the fic and read those recaps! I wish I had actual recs for you, but I’d need to go back and dig--you couldn’t really save them without literally copying and pasting, and I simply didn’t do that since all the archives were there to, uh, archive. Have I mentioned lately how wonderful it is that ao3 lets your bookmark, download, and subscribe? Because it’s pretty goddamned wonderful!

[thisbirdhadflown]

May Fic Rec Round-up, Part I

Hartwin

Come Get It Boy by jibrailis

Now this is an interesting one. We’ve got sex pollen, car sex, and Harry’s POV, oh my! This Harry is sensible and restrained; he desires Eggsy, but he’s able to compartmentalize it for the most part, so it never tips over to full on pining. As for Eggsy? He knows what he wants.

Besides being incendiary hot, this fic has some great lines.

Harry on himself: Harry takes pride in being simultaneously incredibly deadly and incredibly boring; it’s only Eggsy who lately makes him feel like he needs to make attempts otherwise.

Eggsy on Harry: “I know you’re a ‘confirmed bachelor’ and you cry sometimes when watching Coronation Street. If that ain’t begging to get laid, I don’t know what is.”

And the ending is just delightful. :-)

Discretion (or: Who Likes Short Shorts) by ProdigalQueer

Well, we all knew that Eggsy had some killer thighs.

But seriously, @prodigalqueer​‘s fic is hot and hilarious. Eggsy goes on a mission, kills the mark in an unusual way, and neither Eggsy nor Harry hear the end of it. The dialogue is fantastic and I’m seriously digging the camaraderie between the Kingsman staff; giving each other shit is definitely something that friendly colleagues would do.

Nothing Quirky About It by kissingandcrying

This could’ve been a simple PWP, but @litindecency elevates it with a great Harry voice and some fantastic storytelling to bookend the amazing filth. You really learn a lot about Harry and what makes him tick while he ruminates over Eggsy’s lovely, lovely body.

People Will Say We’re In Love by Damned_Writers

Oh wow. Why aren’t there more Hannibal AUs in Kingsman fandom?

What I enjoyed:

Eggsy still feels like Eggsy, not just a Will/Clarice stand-in

The interactions between Harry and Eggsy have layers upon layers. Nothing is on the surface. Yes, we have a pretty good idea of what Harry/Hannibal is up to, but what exactly is he planning? And what are his motivations towards Eggsy? I kept parsing each line of dialogue, trying to pick up on each hidden meaning.

Everyone here is smart, if a little naive. What bugs me about crime procedurals is that usually the police OR the criminals are intelligent, never both.

we’re only the past by futuredescending

Very interesting character exploration of Harry Hart. How would have Harry turned out if he’d never been recruited by Kingsman? This version of Harry still feels like Harry, but he is a lonelier, more closed-off man than what we see in canon. @futuredescending does a great job of delving into his psychology, complete with giving Harry a compelling backstory. Her descriptions of Harry’s interactions with Eggsy feel fragile and painfully intimate. We can’t help but feel his hurt and embarrassment vicariously and root for him on his journey to his happy ending.

I Say Yes by evil_brainmate

Lovely, sweet and sad. Be warned, though, @oggalahad ends this fic on one hell of a cliffhanger.

This Mortal Coil (Is Actually Pretty Damn Fit) by l_cloudy

What a fantastic AU! l_cloudy inverts the trope, making Harry the perverted angel and Eggsy the resigned demon. The tone is dryly funny, and seriously, the devil (yes, I did that on purpose) is in the details; tidbits like Merlin screwing with London traffic and being promoted as Head Hellraiser as a result, really fleshed out this universe nicely.

The First (A Gentleman Must Always Be Prepared) by ThatGirlOverThere

Incendiary hot. Here Harry is possessive and his desperation is palpable. And his dirty talk? Oooh boy.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: I larb You

Just as kind of a disclaimer, I want to openly state I am a Spider-Man fanboy so this review is a little biased. However, if you tone down my invariable gushing, you’re left with a strong recommendation for a film that just happens to be about my all-time favorite Superhero. Take what I have to say with a grain of salt, but understand that you should definitely see this film. Definitely. See. This. Film. Now, that aside, can we just take a minute to appreciate how goddamn beautiful Maris Tomei is?

Hot Aunt May is confusing the sh*t out of my inner child, man...

The Best

Tom Holland IS Spider-Man. Seriously, this kid is to Perter Parker as RDJ is to Iron Man and it’s goddamn Amazing. All of the puns intended. He did a great job as Pete and that’s the point. Unlike McGuire or Garfield kind of played the characters of Peter and Spider-Man differently, Holland doesn’t. He’s Pete in the mask and out   and I found that ridiculously refreshing. That’s who Spider-Man is. That’s who Spider-Man should be. He’s a 15 year old kid trying to figure things out. He might eventually become that hero everyone knows around the neighborhood but he’s not there yet and Holland does a fantastic job of portraying that. Kid did a fantastic job and I hope Sony understands that they NEED Marvel at this point. Fingers crossed.

Bro, Michael Keaton as Adrian Toomes is arguably the best villain in the MCU. He legitimately gave Hiddleston’s Loki a run for his money, I kid you not. It was surreal how menacing this cat was while being ridiculously sympathetic. Like, he didn’t want to BE the Vulture, circumstances FORCED him to be and you feel that immediately. Keaton played it brilliantly, particularly in that car ride scene. You’ll know it when you see it. Cat was f*cking ominously charming. Like, I’d say he was about as good as Ledger’s Joker but I think I’d be overselling that a little, mostly because the tone of the films is so different. But, for what Homecoming was, Keaton was about as good as Ledger was for The Dark Knight.

Dat overall casting, tho! Marvel has a way with casting their characters that’s almost perfect. Literally everyone in this film fits the role they need to portray perfectly. There were standouts and I’ll get to them shortly, but goddamn! Marvel is just too good at making the right choices for their roles. It’s borderline uncanny and I don’t understand why Fox won’t let them have FF back. It’s obvious they’ll do them justice.

The Better

Dem Easter Eggs, tho!

Zendaya was outstanding as “Michelle”. She wasn’t in the film much but the time she had was used to maximum effect. After Holland and Keaton, she’s easily my favorite character in this movie. Easily. I hope she does more stuff from here on out because, after her role in this flick, I must say, I am a Zandaya fan.

I adored Marisa Tomei as Aunt may. She owned that role and gave us take on May we haven’t seen. Young, hot, may is in now and I’m all for it. To be honest, I never understood why May was so old. Like, how old was Pee’s dad? Cats have to understand, much like the rest of the current MCU, this film is based heavily on the more grounded take of Marvel’s Ultimate universe, which is wild since they folded that line a few years back. In that universe, May isn’t a goddamn octogenarian but she ain’t Marisa Tomei either. This take makes more sense. Marisa Tomei made more sense in that world and he made a nice little place for herself in it.

All that diversity was f*cking dope to see. I’m glad Marvel decided to actually make a high school movie where the kids in high school actually look like kids in high school. Hollywood has a hard time doing that but Homecoming kind of nailed it. I bought that Pete was on the Decathlon team. I bought the requisite Gym class scene. I bought that Flash was a dick because he’s just kind of a dick.

The cameos in this film are mad dope. They all shine for one reason or another but the standouts, to me, were Donald Glover and Hannibal Burress. I don’t want to spoil their roles and they weren’t in the film as much as I’d like them to have been but they made magic with the limited time they did have. Glover’s character in particular has some potential ramifications for the entirety of the MCU that I’m not going to get into but trust, if you’re a Spider-Fan, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Homecoming does its best impression of a John Hughes film and it shows. There is literally a scene lifted directly from one of Hughes’ bigger hits, and then they reference THAT scene IN the middle of THEIR scene! Meta stuff like that kind of litters this film but it’s never intrusive or overstays it’s welcome. There is a pitch to this flick that’s nailed perfectly.

The Good

Dat Iron-Spider, tho!

While I applaud Marvel’s take on modernizing a flagship title with actual, American, diversity, I was a little disappointed there wasn’t more screen time for certain characters. Like, it never comes off as tokenism but I think there should have been a bit more emphasis on the POC characters. Not much but more.

It’s good to see RDJ and Favreau in their iconic, respective, roles. I didn’t know I missed Happy Hogan as much as I did until he was onscreen.

Bokeem Woodbine did a serviceable job as Shocker. I thought he was a bit too much hench-goon but he did what he could with that limited role. Same with the cat who played the Tinkerer, Michael Chernus I think is what his name is.

The direction was outstanding. You can tell there was a vision and John Watts does a superb job of guiding it to it’s inevitable brilliance. I knew dude was a decent director but I wasn’t sure a marquee cape flick was his cup of tea. I mean, dude made Clown and Cop Car, bother excellent movies but so far from Homecoming’s tone, it’s laughable. But, I must say, dude surprised. He did a great job helming this film and I look forward to what he has in store next. I read somewhere they wanted to do a Harry Potter type situation where every film is another year in school and I’m so okay with that. Make it happ’n, cap’n!

This is a legitimately beautiful film. The way it’s shot, the way it’s framed, all of that epic scale and cinematography; Kudos to Salvatore Totino. He did a fantastic job.

Sony did right by Web-Head. Marvel was able to craft one helluva tale and it fits perfectly in-universe. As long as Sony doesn’t get greedy, and they might because this thing made 15 million in A night, there is a beautiful future on the horizon for these films. Fingers crossed Sony decided against their stupid f*cking Spider-Verse and just seeds Marvel them rights because, seriously, if o can take a villain as goofy as the Vulture and turn him into what he was in this film, you know what the f*ck you’re doing.

The Verdict

Overall, there isn’t much wrong with this film. Is it perfect? No. But it’s damn close. Flick is sitting at a 93 on Rotten Tomatoes right now and it earns the f*ck out of that rating. It’s every bit a 93. That has it as the second highest rated comic flick on the site! Go f*cking see Spider-man: Homecoming. See it twice. Give the Disney overlords all of your money so they make more of these flicks. It was so good, man. I can’t stress how awesome this movie was, how awesome these characters are. They nailed Spider-Man. They nailed Spider-Man’s world. I’ll probably see this film two more times, at least, and the last movie is aw that many times was The Dark Knight., Spider-Man Homecoming is seriously, objectively, unbiased, that f*cking good. It’s an outstanding Cape flick and a great f*cking movie, overall.

[calamity-bean]

American Gods 1.01

AT LONG LAST, after literally YEARS of waiting and waiting and clinging to the faintest of rumors, two of my favorite flavors of weirdness -- Neil Gaiman and Bryan Fuller -- collide on screen. The result is as bizarre as expected, in an extremely exciting way.

Not everything in the premiere worked for me. I reckon there will continue to be things that don’t work for me. But honestly, I’m just so dang HAPPY that one of my favorite books is in such capable adaptation hands, and I can’t wait to see how elements get translated to screen. Regarding the first episode, here’s my very personal & informal take on what was good, what was not so good, and what made me glance around nervously and giggle, “What the fuck? What the fuck???”

Spoilers for episode 1 and for a few comparisons to the novel, but only to book material that was covered in the ep.

The Good

The CASTING. Of everyone, so far. I actually wasn’t really familiar with Ricky Whittle before this, but dang — that man can carry so much emotion in just the twitching of his jaw and the trembling of his hands as Shadow spends a large part of the episode alternately numb and quaking with suppressed grief and rage. Ian McShane is not as rugged in appearance or wolfish in manner as I always imagined Wednesday, but he’s got this charm that is at once oily and debonair and very intriguing. I approve.

Pablo Schrieber, meanwhile, is just so fucking fun to watch as Mad Sweeney — always one of my faves. He’s got this infectious streak of madness and high-spirited but mostly good-natured bloodlust that you can truly see shining in his eyes even before he unleashes his fists. The coin tricks and the bar fight were both two of my favorite parts of the episode, and I also love his whole character design, particularly his hairstyle. Yetide Badaki, likewise, is enchanting to watch, absolutely radiating sensuality, mystery, and a hint of deep vulnerability -- a neediness that is partly a show but partly genuine. I’ve always had a soft spot for Bilquis, and her sex scene is honestly incredibly hot except for all the ways in which it’s not.

But my favorite so far may actually be Jonathan Tucker as Shadow’s cellmate. Like, his eccentric mannerisms, his bad teeth, his accent and rapid speech ... On one level, all of that so strongly telegraphs that this is some kind of backwoods petty criminal, one of those twitchy, kind of hillbilly guys. But it's all anchored by that perfect dagger-sharp, lopsided, mischievous smile. I really liked how Shadow “sees” him in the airport; I wonder if that’ll continue to be a thing?

On that note, I’m glad they managed to fit in the “don’t piss off those bitches in airports” anecdote. Giving it to Tucker’s character was a smart choice. A good lesson for us all, and again, I loved Tucker’s delivery of it.

Wednesday’s introduction was, I thought, an example way of showing things that the novel largely tells at first. The show gives his and Shadow’s initial meeting a lot more breathing room and space to play out in, and the sharp contrast between when we first see him -- disheveled and seemingly senile -- versus his smoothness on the plane serves both as a great establishing character moment for the audience and as an excuse for Wednesday and Shadow to connect over the fine art of the con.

Shout-out also to the poor beleaguered waitress at the Crocodile Bar. She expected better of you, Shadow. She expected better.

The cinematography. Visually, of course, the show is stunning. Gorey and gritty and high-contrast, like an extremely color-saturated noir. Unsurprisingly, it reminds me fondly of watching Hannibal, which is never a bad thing. The vikings’ battle in the prologue was a bloodbath of straight-up “Mizumono” proportions, and just as beautiful, in that very special way that bright, vivid splashes of slow-motion blood splatter are.

And the titular bone orchard! Eerily gorgeous and fascinating. I want to visit. Probably not the smartest travel decision I’ve ever made, but also probably not the worst.

The music. I had a notion that I’d probably be pretty damn into the music on this show; the first trailer set my expectations high by using Fantastic Negrito’s version of “Black Girl,” so I’d been hoping that the overall auditory landscape of the show would likewise be in keeping with my tastes. The verdict: heck YES it is. I need this soundtrack stat.

Oh, and did I mention Ricky Whittle is great? Cause he’s great. My mum and I have been fan-casting our perfect Shadow for years, but I don’t know if we ever hit on someone who does such a good job of combining Shadow’s imposing physicality with his soft-spoken and often gentle demeanor. And then to see his reserve shatter at Laura’s graveside, as he’s speaking to her and finally lets his heart pour out ... I loved that scene. Right up until the moment I didn’t.

Which brings us to...

The Not So Good

*sighs* Audrey.

Apparently, the only reason that scene didn’t actually progress to the proposed blowjob is that Neil Gaiman, bless his heart, threatened to throw himself in front of a bus if it took place. Thank you, Neil. In the original, fellatio-filled version, was Shadow supposed to be into it, I wonder? Or would it still have been sexual assault? Because that’s what we got on screen, at least: Audrey aggressively and physically assaulting him, though thankfully all she managed to do was shove him around.

I don’t entirely know what the point of that scene was meant to be, in terms of character or of narrative. Audrey, poor drunken Audrey, spends all of her appearances stumbling back and forth between sympathetic and repugnant — which is actually exactly how her character should be. But was it really necessary to do that by having her alternating between assaulting and hugging Shadow?

In the novel, Audrey’s shocking moment is at the funeral itself, when Shadow sees Audrey walk up to Laura’s open casket and spit on her corpse. I’ve always thought that moment extremely effective. It’s a much smaller gesture than trying to revenge-fuck Shadow, of course, but that’s kind of what I always liked about it. Not a grand, aggressive assault; instead, a small but stunning slap. And directed against Laura herself rather than at a proxy.

I don’t know. That whole scene just felt immensely uncomfortable, which I know was the point, but also unnecessary. Moving on, though—

I also did not particularly care for the Technical Boy’s goons. Their costuming / character design was weird and ineffective, imo, and doesn’t it rather undercut the entire nature of the Technical Boy — whose big threat is to delete Shadow, to literally overwrite him in the programming of reality, such that he never was — that he follows up that deletion threat by having his “children” just ... kick and lynch Shadow instead? That’s ... not really in keeping with his theme. Technology has advanced a lot since this novel was first published back in 2001, and although some aspects of the Technical Boy’s scene, such as the virtual-reality-limo interface thing, reflected that, the “children” and their methods felt incongruously low tech.

Overall, though, I didn’t really have many legit complaints with the episode. Just some things that made me cackle with incredulity, horror, and delight:

The WTF

An ARM flew through the SKY with a SWORD in its hand and STABBED A MAN in the THROAT.

It was VERY ELEGANT and AMAZING and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD.

Also laughed out loud at the viking who became a human quiver. I’m honestly so baffled by that. It’s a striking image, but it doesn’t make a lick of sense. That honestly seems like more arrows than any locals were likely to have on hand, and even if they did, why would they shoot them all into one person. For the sake of my sanity (and the show’s dignity), I have chosen to believe that things like this and the arm did not, in fact, happen; that they are merely embellishments on the part of Mr. Ibis, who has a lively and imaginative mind, after all, and who possibly has watched a few too many action movies.

And then there was That Scene. The one I had been eagerly awaiting above all others. The Bilquis Scene.

Bilquis’s first chapter is one of those moments in literature that fundamentally changed me as a person. I had a life before I first read the Bilquis scene, and I continued to have a life after, but it was not the same life as before. Ever since this series finally started moving forward, my number one question has been how the HECK they were going to execute it, and ... well. They executed it, by golly. They really really did. I think I’m pleased by how they executed it, but also deeply, viscerally disturbed, which is as it should be, I suppose.

Overall? A really interesting and promising start. Even though I’ve read the book many times, I still feel as though I don’t truly know how to expect, which ... is honestly a delightful feeling, considering how much faith I have in the creators. (It is not always a delightful feeling. Even before GoT surpassed ASoIaF, I increasingly found myself uncertain what to expect from it, too, but in a much more aggravating and disappointing way.)

Whatever happens, this is going to be a wild ride. The book is also kind of a wild ride, but the show is, I suspect, going to be even wilder. And I’m all for that. Now where is that soundtrack? I need it in my ears.

[this-is-my-decline]

Red Dragon con 3 recap part 4

PART 1 - 2 - 3 

Hugh and Bryan Q&A panel summary (part 2)

Now with Hugh AND Bryan! Hugh sure looked relieved when he arrived, he thought we were holding back asking questions (what, he didn’t feel he was getting difficult enough questions? ;P)...anyway, as you surely already have heard, Bryan pretty much arrived at the panel announcing how the answer to who is the bottom and who is the top is: “THEY FLIP!”

 THE. BEST. ENTRANCE. EVER!!!

Hugh of course was flustered because: "here I was dealing with ambiguity for an hour, and then Bryan comes and says this...! Well, when I say platonic, I mean...flip.” (nice save, Hugh :’D)

-Immediately after that, Bryan got a question about Will’s role in SOTL, and how people have been worrying he wouldn’t have a role in it, in which Bryan answered something like “I think you’re reading between the lines. I don’t think we should ever lose Will Graham”. Hugh is his crutch, and they wrote the final scene of TWOTL together. They will never Abigail him. The thing is, that two studios own the rights, and well, different studios don’t mix well together..

-What did Will do after the asking Bedelia the love question: H: “I would say he compartmentalized it, but Bryan would joke that there was furious masturbation going on between them”. B: “Is there any other kind of masturbation?”

-About American Gods: Neil Gaiman is very involved in the show, and he gives feedback on everything. There was some discussion with Neil how the book was a bit of sausage party, so they needed more female energy. People didn’t realize how much misogyny there is still in the US (the audience applauded for this! H: “This is an anti-misogyny applause right?”). There is a theme of “what will men do to bring down a woman of power” in the show, and it felt especially relevant after the elections.

-Why does Bryan use bees so much in his shows? “Bees are magical. They are the very essence of life on this planet. Bees are a fantastic symbol of life, and the sweetness of life”.

-About choosing between Bedelia and Abigail to go with Hannibal on S3: Either Bedelia or Abigail would have to go. “The most hurtful thing Hannibal could’ve done to Will was to kill Abigail in front of him, that was his motivator”. If Abigail had survived, it would’ve been interesting to see a different version of what was happening with Abigail and Will, and Abigail would’ve been kind of like a Jiminy Cricket sort of character, but it wouldn’t had lasted long.

-Bryan recommends Clive Barkers books!

-Matthew Brown was like a freshman trying to impress the cool senior student Will, there was nothing sexual there, he just thought Will was this badass serial killer. “Please like me please like please like me”, Hugh about Matthew.

-About which superpower Hannibal characters would have: Will’s is empathy, Mason could transform into a pig (a fan: he already is one! Hugh: that’s why it’d be quick!”), Hannibal would have super digestion (Hugh also suggests he can turn people into worst versions of themselves), Alana’s super strength to slap the shit out of everyone.

-Bryan confirmed the person handling the NBC Hannibal social media accounts is the same person now handling the American Gods accounts! Hugh mentioned how he knows nothing about social media, but the guy is so good at his job!

-Which character would you date? B: “They’re all so damaged...different kind of messed up, but Chilton”(hey YOU wrote them Bryan!). Also Preller! . H: “Margot, that’d be interesting, for lots of reasons”

Bryan mentioned how excited Hugh was for the con where the fans are so enthusiastic and full of creativity, and they were both genuinely grateful to be at the con!

-Hugh also tried speaking some French (something about a bottle of wine?), says he’s speaking it increasingly badly but I heard people comment it was perfect. His brother & sister now actually live in France, so his family is becoming bilingual while he’s forgetting stuff.

-A fan also showed them her Hannibal nail art, and they both were really impressed. -B: “They’re fantastic! Beautiful!”, “The art of the community never ceases to amaze me!”

A question about Hugh’s advice for Will “don’t be so moody”. Then he talked about his first acting job: his dad called and said he has a “very particular walk”. “I walk like Will?” "I’m nothing like Will, sorry!” (of course he apologizes for that)

Hugh: “The show doesn’t exist without Will’s empathy. It’s always rising up and dragging him down. When he thinks he gets to a place of purity, the damn empathy comes along.” He could imagine a state where Will’s been “bleached” of his empathy by Hannibal (by an experience they had together or something else that happened on the beach), but that state wouldn’t last for very long. 

“Would Hannibal have to fight to get Will completely on his side?” H:“Yes, I think Hannibal is always going to have to fight for him”

And lastly a fan asks what would happen if Hannibal and Will went on a bro holiday and Bryan is like that’s “plot fodder for S4″ :’D

[allinmycorner]

Happy Halloween! 

Dancing With the Stars had its annual Halloween episode and declared it “Villains Night”! Everyone went all out - Tyra wore a few costumes, Derek really got into his Jekyll and Hyde bit, Carrie Ann dressed as Pennywise and Bruno was Beetlejuice. Once again, they let Sasha loose on the unsuspecting stars. Carrie Ann sent all the contestants the dreaded “0″ paddle while Bruno tried to scare them with Scream-esque phone calls. But that fell flat when everyone was able to identify his voice and Kaitlyn also pointed out he should’ve also blocked his caller ID. 

Oops. 

So how did Villains Night go for our contestants? Let’s find out! 

Monica and Val: I honestly didn't think Monica was going to make it to the finals but I didn't really expect her to go home. In fact, I almost thought they would send Jeannie and Brandon home (but I'm glad she's getting another chance). Monica's elimination proves once again that all performances need to be strong because the weak one can be your undoing. I have to agree with the judges with her routine - she hit the moves right but she wasn't as comfortable embracing the character as the other performers were. If she really embraced Ratched, it would've helped with her movements and made the routine better. But she should be proud of everything else she's done this series and for making it this far!

Nev and Jenna: Nev and Jenna got the season's first perfect score for their paso doble paying homage to Black Swan. Nev shows how one can start out great and just get even greater. He works on everything the judges tell him and he throws his whole heart into the routine. And I love that he's such a big fan of ballet. Some fathers and sons go to sports events, he and his father go to the New York City Ballet. I am going to remind the readers that the New York City Ballet has cancelled its Winter and Spring seasons and productions are expected to resume until the Fall season. Which means many people will continue to struggle without their jobs. Please consider supporting them here. 

Johnny and Britt: Johnny bounced back after last week's low score and ending up in the bottom two. His Viennese waltz inspired by Dracula was intense and almost professional. It did put him back in a more comfortable zone but I think that will help him. It boosted his confidence for when he tackles next week's dances, whatever they may be. (More on why that's plural later). 

Nelly and Daniella: Damn, Nelly. He just keeps getting better and better. He really got into his Freddy Krueger character and I am impressed that he was able to dance with the famous clawed glove. I'm seeing him making the finals more and more. He and Daniella have a great relationship and he is definitely learning and improving. 

Skai and Alan: They performed an Argentine tango inspired by the Bride of Chucky - and Alan made for an interesting-looking Chucky. But their tango was great, something Skai definitely needed after last week. It seems Skai has learned to control her nerves, to just have fun and let what happens on the dancefloor happen. I think that will suit her as the competition gets tighter and tighter. 

AJ and Cheryl:  AJ and Cheryl had a scary moment rehearsing for their Psycho-themed tango. Cheryl took a fall and hit her head on Sunday and had to be taken for medical evaluation. AJ stayed with her the entire time the medical crew evaluated her in the ballroom and probably would've gone to the hospital with her if not for COVID restrictions. But Cheryl was cleared to dance and they delivered a fantastic tango. AJ still has a few things to work on but he is posed with Nelly to challenge Nev and Johnny for the top male spots. 

Chrishell and Gleb: Chrishell absolutely loved dressing up as Maleficent for her paso doble. The judges loved her dance but I don't know, it left me feeling cold. It was a good paso doble but I guess after her emotional dance last week, this one just felt lacking that category. She needs to work on marrying her emotional strengths with her technical strengths, at least from my perspective. 

Justina and Sasha:  Justina is not a fan of Halloween after spending the holiday getting pelted by eggs most years of her childhood. And that baffles Sasha. But she does love the movie Carrie and really enjoys their tango. She plays a prom queen raining down bloody vengeance on the star quarterback perfectly, the intensity perfect for their tango. She's still one of my favorites and I would love to see her go all the way to the end!

Jeannie and Brandon: Mama Mai was probably looking to cash out when Jeannie and Brandon ended up in the bottom two. I am glad that they were saved. I do think Jeannie has improved and brings a great energy to all her routines. And her Hannibal Lecter paso was no different. Does she still need to step it up to match the rest of the competition? Yes. Can she do it? I believe she can.

Kaitlyn and Artem: Once again, Kaitlyn and Artem danced a very good paso doble. And once again, they hit the bar that was expected of them but did not surpass it. Kaitlyn is really lacking in the "wow" category, something Nev and Jenna have been delivering on. Carrie Ann and Bruno both want more from her while Derek thinks she's doing great - but I have to agree with the other two. Yes, we know she's a great dancer. Show us more if you want to advance because everyone is getting better and better.

So why did I mention “dances” earlier? Next week, the remaining contestants will perform two dances. And the stakes will be even higher - there will be a double elimination next week. 

I’ll see everyone then - and remember, next week is Election Day. If you’re American and eligible to vote, please make sure you do. If you have not yet returned your mail-in ballot, please drop it off at approved sites. And if you vote in person, please be safe. I voted on Saturday when NY’s early voting period started and I hope you all vote as well! 

[gettindeggywitit-blog]

Final Copy/ Re-Write of Essay #1 (Review) (Pasted to Tumblr)

Harry Potter 5: A Review

 Not often is a movie born from a book or series of books able to stand on its own as a competent product when analyzed and compared to its written counterpart. However, as with most of the Harry Potter franchise's movies, Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix manages to stay faithful to its origin. So much so that one could simply watch all the movies up to this point without needing to open a single page of the books and be perfectly happy and caught up with the story, give or take a few minute details as with all book-to-movie releases. However, for anyone that has recently read the books and would like to take a look at the movies, I would suggest paying closer attention to the fifth installment analyzed here, as I believe it is conceptually better than most of the others. The movie is a success through its genuine and skilled acting as well as accurate portrayal of characters, its genuinely interesting story, and its sound design. This all makes for a wonderful retelling of J.K Rowling's fifth entry in the Harry Potter series.

As with the rest of the Harry Potter films, the mainstay actors Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint (Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley, respectively) reprise their roles as they and the iconic characters they emulate age together. After four films of the same actors playing the same roles, I am not sure any of these three could have left the series without a serious media fallout and a drop in success of the films. Each plays their character with ease; nowhere do any of them feel awkward or like they shouldn’t be there. However, it should be noted that since Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (the fourth in Rowling's collection), the series began to take a serious turn in mood. Transitioning from a fantasy/comedy style to a dark/moody tone influences the characters. Presumably, they have grown up and are beginning to see their world for what it is rather than having fun, almost lighthearted adventures within their magical school Hogwarts. Harry has reached a point of angst that at sometimes feels unbearable, but his friends, as always, are there to support him. Along with the characters being near adulthood, this entry in the series introduces something not seen in the previous movies. The characters begin to take real love interests, although this is not a main plot point, mainly serving as a way of creating tension for the individuals the character cares about. The books go much deeper into the romantic lives of the characters, the movie using them mainly to lighten the dark mood with some humor/love. Overall, the actors in this movie do a fantastic, accurate job in playing their characters. After four movies, it seems like they are just an extension of themselves.

The storyline of the film is strikingly different at first compared to its predecessors. As stated above, the series is on a steady decline into moody, solemn, seriousness with a few twinges of comedic timing added in. Voldemort is back (the main villain), and everything and everyone is different (mad and angsty) because of it. The movie begins with a story arc aligning Harry with the ministry of magic (governing body of the magical world) where he is attacked by Voldemort's henchmen outside of school during his break. Harry chooses to defend himself with magic as there is no other way to fight, leading him to a full legal trial within the ministry (they don’t want to believe Voldemort is back) to debate whether he should be expelled from Hogwarts and have his wand taken. Once again, Harry had no other way to defend himself so he has legal precedent. The movies have never delved into the inner workings of the magical world so to start it off with corruption was certainly interesting. I take it as the writers and director trying to incorporate as much as they could within the restrictions making a movie provides. Now, I cannot very well create a review of this movie without mentioning the famous female antagonist it created. Delores Umbridge is, in my opinion, one of the most hated characters of all time. The woman Stephen King called "the greatest make-believe villain to come along since Hannibal Lecter", she does an incredible job of giving the story tension and makes the viewer feel genuine aggression towards her. For the story, a bit of a dive into the magical world as well as an incredibly despicable character makes it new and interesting for a series on its fifth title.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix has an absolutely brilliant soundtrack. Mainly the tracks remain orchestral and ominous to reflect the dark tone of the movie, at times sounding as if they could belong to a crime/drama just as well as a fantasy genre. The composer for the movie, Nicholas Hooper, does a fantastic job on designing each piece so that it reflects exactly how a scene should be making the audience feel. A specific example for this relationship between music and film would be the scene in which the Weasley twins make their last hurrah at Hogwarts with an in-school fireworks display during the final tests. The track for this seen, aptly named “fireworks”, is an abrupt yet pleasant break from the rough, edgy, and ominous tracks in scenes leading up. The music brings the entire movie together as it should, weaving the transitions between dark and moody to cute and cheerful extremely well.

Overall, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is one of the better movies of the franchise. It plays with topics never seen before in the previous movies, and really made an attempt to show the characters transitioning to adulthood from their naïve selves roaming the halls of Hogwarts. It is genuine and true to its literary roots, which makes it a brilliant experience for any Harry Potter fan.

                                                   Works Cited            

Goldenberg, Michael, et al. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc., 2007.

 “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007).” Box Office Mojo, www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=main&id=harrypotter5.htm.

 “NR Chats to GOF's Emma Watson.” Newsround, news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_4440000/newsid_4443700/4443762.stm.

[drippeddaily]

Album of the Year #25: Open Mike Eagle - Brick Body Kids Still Daydream

Album of the Year #25: Open Mike Eagle - Brick Body Kids Still Daydream

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Artist: Open Mike Eagle

Album: Brick Body Kids Still Daydream

Listen:

Youtube

Spotify

Apple Music

Album Background:

Open Mike Eagle, born in the South Side of Chicgao, 37 years old, and member of Project Blowed has become a staple in the underground hip hop scene and started making waves with his poignant and concise projects starting in 2010 with his first full length release Unapologetic Art Rap.

You may have heard of Mike outside of his music by his features in Vice videos such as Why rappers love Grey Poupon or Rapping, deconstructed: The best rhymers of all time. If not those, maybe you’ve seen him on Eric Andre’s show in Rapper Warrior Ninja. And, again, if not that then maybe you know him as a friend of famous comedian and Bill Cosby exposer Hannibal Buress.

Before becoming a rapper, Michael W. Eagle II went to Whitney M. Young High School which is a selective enrollment public school in the Near West Side of Chicago. After high school, Mike went to Southern Illinois University Carbondale as a psychology major where he met his now good friend Hannibal Buress. He graduated and moved on to do one year of grad school before moving to Los Angeles where he worked a few different jobs such as Americorps, a non-profit halfway home, and as a third and fourth grade special education teacher. At this time, he only rapped as a hobby until he found Project Blowed, where he became affiliated with now long time collaborators Busdriver, Dumbfoundead, and Pyschosiz.

Open Mike Eagle’s 5th full length LP Brick Body Kids Still Daydream was released on September 15, 2017 under one of my favorite labels Mello Music Group. Mike grew up in the Robert Taylor Homes in Chicago which was a series of project housings that is now demolished. They were erected in the early 1960s, and demolished over the course of nine years from 1998 to 2007. Here is a picture of the last standing building via Wikipedia. These buildings were designed to hold up to 11,000 residents, and in actuality housed up to 27,000 people at its peak. The complex was riddled with gang violence and crime throughout its entire existence.

The source of inspiration for this album is made clear by the title, the album cover, and Mike’s upbringing which leads to this album being a tell all of Mike’s feelings about the Robert Taylor Homes, and subsequently he touches on the problems in America in a way that is very personal to him.

Review:

Mike’s style of rap is soft and inviting, like he is telling a story out of a book by your bedside. With the opening track Legendary Iron Hood, he invites you into his dream world at the Robert Taylor Homes. He sets up with references to a superhero in the X-Men with lines like “I keep my head down, pushing like I’m walking to school, yeah / I hold em tight like Infinity Gems” and “Got a brother named Charles that be on that bullshit / I protect my neck with some magical jewels.” While Mike’s rapping is smooth and harmless, it’s exciting like he really wants you to listen to his story. His childish daydreams tells you just enough to make you interested to hear more about his life growing up, and see how he solves the problems he establishes in this first track.

Mike keeps you on your toes as one emotion that’s being conveyed never lasts very long. This album in the 40 minutes run time takes you from happy and comfortable, to a dark and depressed place, and this can quickly change from track to track. One track that shows this dichotomy is Happy Wasteland Day, where Mike gives us his take on the political landscape of 2017 while never mentioning the name of the largest contributor to the current state of affairs. The beat most prominently features a looped string instrument, backed by simple drums and bass supporting it. Mike’s lyricism in this track varies from on the nose to more abstract questions in simple lines. “When the king is a garbage person / I might wanna lay down and die” he repeats quite often as he wonders what he’s supposed to do. He poses a problem and offers a solution to himself within two lines, “Zombie sheriffs is tryna lynch us / Guess I’ll call up my congressman.” Mike makes a grim joke saying that the police force are like zombies out for their next meal, and what can he do about it but call his congressman? Mike knows it’s ultimately a futile act, and this sort of change is much bigger than one person.

The climax of the album can not go without mention, and that is Brick Body Complex. The rebellious and hyped up track explains the title of the album. Mike’s ultimate comparison is that a black child in the hood is literally a building. That kid, because of a system designed to keep him down, has no upward mobility or anyway to move away from his current situation much like the building that he lives in. However, Mike tries to fight back this notion by saying that he is giant, he’s a superhero, and and that he’ll never fit their descriptions. They, in this case, being those who generalize an entire group of people because of their skin color and living situation. It’s a fantastic concept that Mike fully realizes on this song with his passionate, fast, and angry rapping about this state of affairs. This song truly showcases Mike’s talent as a musician, storyteller, artist, and this track is something that sets him apart from other rappers. It is a fleshed out idea, told in a personal way that makes comments on the truths of America, and delivered in a 4 minute showcase of lyrical wit and storytelling.

The final track that deserves its own paragraph also happens to be the final track of the album. My Auntie’s Building is perhaps the dreariest song on the entire album, and despite the fighting back like Mike showed in Brick Body Complex, this is the beaten down side of him. “I’ll fight you all, I’m willing / Just show me who’s that villain / I don’t see no one, I don’t see no one / I can’t find nobody,” Mike says as he ultimately realizes this battle is one that can’t be one. There is no one single person to fight as this is a systematic problem. “They say America fights fair / But they won’t demolish your timeshare” are two simple bars that summarize the issue of gentrification. The beat is slow, with Mike rapping fast and he is pissed off. The album ends with him repeating “That’s the sound of them tearing my body down to the ground.” Mike one last time before his “death” reiterates that there is no hope or choice for him or kids like him, and that the system is too strong for one hero to beat alone.

While the above tracks are worthy of their own paragraphs the others are just as good and are certainly not wasted space. Every track on this album is just as important as the ones surrounding it, and something that should be mentioned and something that Mike is known for is his humor. Mike still manages to keep his signature wit and humor despite the foreboding message. Like on No Selling (Uncle Butch Pretends It Don’t Hurt) he mentions how he had an asthma attack in the last bar, or on TLDR (Smithing) how he’s been woke for so long he needs a nap. He even seems to call this out on (How Could Anybody) Feel At Home where he says he’s told some goofy shit that sounds like a poem, and reading through Mike’s bars there’s a lot of truth to that statement. Mike often feels like he’s reading to you, and his personality is full of wit and funny bars, and while this album is more serious in tone Mike does not give up what he’s known for to deliver his message.

The beats on this album are also worthy of praise as Mike decided to take in ten producers over the course of twelve tracks. Exile (Legendary Iron Hood & Happy Wasteland Day) and Illingsworth (Daydreaming In The Projects & TLDR (Smithing)) both produced two tracks. Mike’s lengthy list of producers each bring their own flavor to each track, and shows how Mike is unafraid of going up against some experimental or different beats. Legendary Iron Hood features a beautiful and serene piano and guitar which is completely different from No Selling which makes uses of a simple low synth and vocal samples. And both of these tracks are completely different from something like 95 Radios which is the poppiest track on the album, and has a more prominent yet simple drum beat and bells. Every track is distinct and stands on its own, but is all brought together by Mike’s confidence over them. Mike knows exactly what to bring to each track to complement the beat and most importantly deliver his message and see his vision.

Something that I picked up on throughout this record is that Mike mentions some form of motion whether it is him being still or being in perpetual motion, and a reference to this can be found on almost every track on the album. In the beginning of the album he talks about moving a lot like on Legendary Iron Hood he talks about how he can't be stopped and nothing will stop him, or on (How Could Anybody) Feel At Home he “spun around in circles on the globe.” But as the album progresses he is tired and in pain. The entirety of No Selling is about working too hard, and is a direct reference to “selling” in wrestling meaning that a wrestler is selling to the audience how hurt he is. In this case, Mike is “no selling” or trying to pretend like he’s not hurt, but truly all of this work is tiring him out. In the later points of the album there is emphasis on standing still or being in the same place, and this goes hand in hand with Mike making the comparison of a black kid to a building. Buildings are constant. They never move, even when it rains, or in the wind, or in the snow, and they will always be right where they were intended to be. Black kids living in the hood think they will move, get out of the hood, and live better lives, but throughout this album Mike is telling us that this is just a daydream, that it will never happen and that is by design. The final track My Auntie’s Building continues to hammer this point home. “And they hit that shit with a wrecking ball so hard / Thought the whole earth broke / All them people dispersed though / Federal to commercial.” The people of the Robert Taylor Homes were forced out, nowhere to go, and ultimately ended up lining the pockets of the wealthy by having to live in for profit housing.

This record is a fantastic, and beautiful commentary on Mike’s upbringing and the climate of 2017. This record is as much of a commentary on Trump as it is on Mike’s home in Chicago, and has become one of my favorite records of the year and by far my favorite record that feels like it is a response to the election of Donald Trump. I truly loved this album, and as I continued to relisten to write this review I only fell more in love with it. Open Mike Eagle did an incredible job with this record, and I’m excited to see where he goes next, but I’d also be content if he takes his time with the next one because I’ll be playing this for a long time.

Favorite Lyrics:

1.

My big dumb brain’s an electrical ocean

Started walking now my legs in perpetual motion

2.

Don’t call me nigga or rapper

My name is motherfucking Michael Eagle, I’m sovereign

I come from a line of ghetto superheroes

3.

Between shrooms and touring I'm sure to take a bunch of trips

And fuck that one guy who’s screen name was "thunderlips"

Pelt him with a bag full of mesquite flavored Kruncher chips

4. (Bars from feature guest, Sammus)

On my Apple updating my E-Shops

Eat a apple a day, take a brief pause

Take a nap, lie awake in-between sobs

Then I rap and I pray and the grief stops

5.

The old me would drink a 40

And eat bologna, shinobi

On NBA Live, I play with Kobe

Discussion Questions:

I’ve seen a lot of debate on whether or not this is better than Dark Comedy? Thoughts?

As far as “reactions to Trump” go, how do you feel about this album compared to others who did the same?

Do you find any validity in my claims about Mike’s use of motion in this album?

Do you think Open Mike Eagle’s use of several different producers was a benefit, or would you have preferred he stuck with only a few. Would you like to see other rappers take this sort of approach?

Merry Christmas, y'all!Artist: Open Mike EagleAlbum: Brick Body Kids Still DaydreamListen:YoutubeSpotifyApple MusicAlbum Background:Open Mike Eagle, born in the South Side of Chicgao, 37 years old, and member of Project Blowed has become a staple in the underground hip hop scene and started making waves with his poignant and concise projects starting in 2010 with his first full length release Unapologetic Art Rap.You may have heard of Mike outside of his music by his features in Vice videos such as Why rappers love Grey Poupon or Rapping, deconstructed: The best rhymers of all time. If not those, maybe you’ve seen him on Eric Andre’s show in Rapper Warrior Ninja. And, again, if not that then maybe you know him as a friend of famous comedian and Bill Cosby exposer Hannibal Buress.Before becoming a rapper, Michael W. Eagle II went to Whitney M. Young High School which is a selective enrollment public school in the Near West Side of Chicago. After high school, Mike went to Southern Illinois University Carbondale as a psychology major where he met his now good friend Hannibal Buress. He graduated and moved on to do one year of grad school before moving to Los Angeles where he worked a few different jobs such as Americorps, a non-profit halfway home, and as a third and fourth grade special education teacher. At this time, he only rapped as a hobby until he found Project Blowed, where he became affiliated with now long time collaborators Busdriver, Dumbfoundead, and Pyschosiz.Open Mike Eagle’s 5th full length LP Brick Body Kids Still Daydream was released on September 15, 2017 under one of my favorite labels Mello Music Group. Mike grew up in the Robert Taylor Homes in Chicago which was a series of project housings that is now demolished. They were erected in the early 1960s, and demolished over the course of nine years from 1998 to 2007. Here is a picture of the last standing building via Wikipedia. These buildings were designed to hold up to 11,000 residents, and in actuality housed up to 27,000 people at its peak. The complex was riddled with gang violence and crime throughout its entire existence.The source of inspiration for this album is made clear by the title, the album cover, and Mike’s upbringing which leads to this album being a tell all of Mike’s feelings about the Robert Taylor Homes, and subsequently he touches on the problems in America in a way that is very personal to him.Review:Mike’s style of rap is soft and inviting, like he is telling a story out of a book by your bedside. With the opening track Legendary Iron Hood, he invites you into his dream world at the Robert Taylor Homes. He sets up with references to a superhero in the X-Men with lines like “I keep my head down, pushing like I’m walking to school, yeah / I hold em tight like Infinity Gems” and “Got a brother named Charles that be on that bullshit / I protect my neck with some magical jewels.” While Mike’s rapping is smooth and harmless, it’s exciting like he really wants you to listen to his story. His childish daydreams tells you just enough to make you interested to hear more about his life growing up, and see how he solves the problems he establishes in this first track.Mike keeps you on your toes as one emotion that’s being conveyed never lasts very long. This album in the 40 minutes run time takes you from happy and comfortable, to a dark and depressed place, and this can quickly change from track to track. One track that shows this dichotomy is Happy Wasteland Day, where Mike gives us his take on the political landscape of 2017 while never mentioning the name of the largest contributor to the current state of affairs. The beat most prominently features a looped string instrument, backed by simple drums and bass supporting it. Mike’s lyricism in this track varies from on the nose to more abstract questions in simple lines. “When the king is a garbage person / I might wanna lay down and die” he repeats quite often as he wonders what he’s supposed to do. He poses a problem and offers a solution to himself within two lines, “Zombie sheriffs is tryna lynch us / Guess I’ll call up my congressman.” Mike makes a grim joke saying that the police force are like zombies out for their next meal, and what can he do about it but call his congressman? Mike knows it’s ultimately a futile act, and this sort of change is much bigger than one person.The climax of the album can not go without mention, and that is Brick Body Complex. The rebellious and hyped up track explains the title of the album. Mike’s ultimate comparison is that a black child in the hood is literally a building. That kid, because of a system designed to keep him down, has no upward mobility or anyway to move away from his current situation much like the building that he lives in. However, Mike tries to fight back this notion by saying that he is giant, he’s a superhero, and and that he’ll never fit their descriptions. They, in this case, being those who generalize an entire group of people because of their skin color and living situation. It’s a fantastic concept that Mike fully realizes on this song with his passionate, fast, and angry rapping about this state of affairs. This song truly showcases Mike’s talent as a musician, storyteller, artist, and this track is something that sets him apart from other rappers. It is a fleshed out idea, told in a personal way that makes comments on the truths of America, and delivered in a 4 minute showcase of lyrical wit and storytelling.The final track that deserves its own paragraph also happens to be the final track of the album. My Auntie’s Building is perhaps the dreariest song on the entire album, and despite the fighting back like Mike showed in Brick Body Complex, this is the beaten down side of him. “I’ll fight you all, I’m willing / Just show me who’s that villain / I don’t see no one, I don’t see no one / I can’t find nobody,” Mike says as he ultimately realizes this battle is one that can’t be one. There is no one single person to fight as this is a systematic problem. “They say America fights fair / But they won’t demolish your timeshare” are two simple bars that summarize the issue of gentrification. The beat is slow, with Mike rapping fast and he is pissed off. The album ends with him repeating “That’s the sound of them tearing my body down to the ground.” Mike one last time before his “death” reiterates that there is no hope or choice for him or kids like him, and that the system is too strong for one hero to beat alone.While the above tracks are worthy of their own paragraphs the others are just as good and are certainly not wasted space. Every track on this album is just as important as the ones surrounding it, and something that should be mentioned and something that Mike is known for is his humor. Mike still manages to keep his signature wit and humor despite the foreboding message. Like on No Selling (Uncle Butch Pretends It Don’t Hurt) he mentions how he had an asthma attack in the last bar, or on TLDR (Smithing) how he’s been woke for so long he needs a nap. He even seems to call this out on (How Could Anybody) Feel At Home where he says he’s told some goofy shit that sounds like a poem, and reading through Mike’s bars there’s a lot of truth to that statement. Mike often feels like he’s reading to you, and his personality is full of wit and funny bars, and while this album is more serious in tone Mike does not give up what he’s known for to deliver his message.The beats on this album are also worthy of praise as Mike decided to take in ten producers over the course of twelve tracks. Exile (Legendary Iron Hood & Happy Wasteland Day) and Illingsworth (Daydreaming In The Projects & TLDR (Smithing)) both produced two tracks. Mike’s lengthy list of producers each bring their own flavor to each track, and shows how Mike is unafraid of going up against some experimental or different beats. Legendary Iron Hood features a beautiful and serene piano and guitar which is completely different from No Selling which makes uses of a simple low synth and vocal samples. And both of these tracks are completely different from something like 95 Radios which is the poppiest track on the album, and has a more prominent yet simple drum beat and bells. Every track is distinct and stands on its own, but is all brought together by Mike’s confidence over them. Mike knows exactly what to bring to each track to complement the beat and most importantly deliver his message and see his vision.Something that I picked up on throughout this record is that Mike mentions some form of motion whether it is him being still or being in perpetual motion, and a reference to this can be found on almost every track on the album. In the beginning of the album he talks about moving a lot like on Legendary Iron Hood he talks about how he can't be stopped and nothing will stop him, or on (How Could Anybody) Feel At Home he “spun around in circles on the globe.” But as the album progresses he is tired and in pain. The entirety of No Selling is about working too hard, and is a direct reference to “selling” in wrestling meaning that a wrestler is selling to the audience how hurt he is. In this case, Mike is “no selling” or trying to pretend like he’s not hurt, but truly all of this work is tiring him out. In the later points of the album there is emphasis on standing still or being in the same place, and this goes hand in hand with Mike making the comparison of a black kid to a building. Buildings are constant. They never move, even when it rains, or in the wind, or in the snow, and they will always be right where they were intended to be. Black kids living in the hood think they will move, get out of the hood, and live better lives, but throughout this album Mike is telling us that this is just a daydream, that it will never happen and that is by design. The final track My Auntie’s Building continues to hammer this point home. “And they hit that shit with a wrecking ball so hard / Thought the whole earth broke / All them people dispersed though / Federal to commercial.” The people of the Robert Taylor Homes were forced out, nowhere to go, and ultimately ended up lining the pockets of the wealthy by having to live in for profit housing.This record is a fantastic, and beautiful commentary on Mike’s upbringing and the climate of 2017. This record is as much of a commentary on Trump as it is on Mike’s home in Chicago, and has become one of my favorite records of the year and by far my favorite record that feels like it is a response to the election of Donald Trump. I truly loved this album, and as I continued to relisten to write this review I only fell more in love with it. Open Mike Eagle did an incredible job with this record, and I’m excited to see where he goes next, but I’d also be content if he takes his time with the next one because I’ll be playing this for a long time.Favorite Lyrics:1.My big dumb brain’s an electrical oceanStarted walking now my legs in perpetual motion2.Don’t call me nigga or rapperMy name is motherfucking Michael Eagle, I’m sovereignI come from a line of ghetto superheroes3.Between shrooms and touring I'm sure to take a bunch of tripsAnd fuck that one guy who’s screen name was "thunderlips"Pelt him with a bag full of mesquite flavored Kruncher chips4. (Bars from feature guest, Sammus)On my Apple updating my E-ShopsEat a apple a day, take a brief pauseTake a nap, lie awake in-between sobsThen I rap and I pray and the grief stops5.The old me would drink a 40And eat bologna, shinobiOn NBA Live, I play with KobeDiscussion Questions:I’ve seen a lot of debate on whether or not this is better than Dark Comedy? Thoughts?As far as “reactions to Trump” go, how do you feel about this album compared to others who did the same?Do you find any validity in my claims about Mike’s use of motion in this album?Do you think Open Mike Eagle’s use of several different producers was a benefit, or would you have preferred he stuck with only a few. Would you like to see other rappers take this sort of approach?

[smokeybrand]

Rotten

If you can’t tell by this blog or the many reviews I write or the entire sub-blog full of my reviews, I genuinely enjoy cinema. I enjoy a good movie. I enjoy a trip to the theater. I have since i was little. All of the pomp and circumstance of it; Getting a terribly overpriced hot dog, standing in line for hours to see the new cape flick or summer blockbuster, laughing with an entire auditorium of cats over the most foolish of turns, and bonding over ridiculous scenes with the stranger next to me - ll of that is just too dope. I love going to the theater. That’s why, when I read that this summer was the worst summer for film since 1999, I was flabbergasted. But it’s true. I’ve been to the theater every weekend this year, with the exception of twice, and no one’s there. No one is coming out to see film anymore. The occasional tent poles like It and anything Marvel drops, packed to the gills, everything else? nah. No one wants that experience and it got me wondering why. This is my analysis of that quandary, as a creator of content but more as a fan, first.

Streaming services are giving supplying box office quality but you don’t have to put on pants

Like literally every other industry that Millennials are killing, we’re apparently choking the life out of the Hollywood but why Why should we go out and spend 15 dollars on a flick that may or may not be terrible, when we can watch new sh*t on Netflix? Better sh*t on Crackle. Original sh*t all over the place. Netflix has the draw to pull huge stars and their productions are often ridiculously high in quality. Okja was dope. Beasts Of No Nation was an Oscar contender. Will Smith, and his hefty ass paycheck, have a movie coming out for them in December, i believe. And it doesn’t stop there. Netflix dropped A Series Of Unfortunate Events as a series and it KILLED the film. Their Marvel properties are spectacular. Daredevil is sh*tting on the majority of what Hollywood crapped out this year by itself! I had more anticipation for Defenders than I did for probably 90 percent of the theatrical releases in 2017! And don’t get me started on Amazon Prime. Seriously, I saw two films this year that are in my top 20 and neither were released wide, stateside. Raw was f*cking incredible and Lure was just as fantastic. They’re foreign, true, but none of them played anywhere near my home in theaters. Not even in the niche, hipster ass theaters! I had to watch them on Prime! But I got a goddamn 8th Fast sequel, though! Ingrid Goes West is a film I’ve been DYING to see but I can’t because it was only out here for a week and now it’s gone. But Wry tho??

Studios are creatively bankrupt

I get sh*t for watching anime. I love that stuff. Love it. Most people think it’s because I like cartoon tiddies and I do, tiddies are awesome, but that’s not why I enjoy anime. My favorites tend to be creatively vibrant and defiantly unique. They tend to be steeped in originality and that makes for an interesting watch. Neon Genesis Evangelion, Akira, Ghost In The Shell (which I will get to in a minute) are all beautifully animated, poignant stories that really engage the viewer and challenges us to actively think about what we’re watching. The last two films to make me engage like that was Ex Machina and The VVitch. Split, too, to a lesser extent, did that as well. The only film that even remotely accomplished that this year was Get Out and people were up at arms about THAT film being racist! Really? You’re missing the f*cking point! It’s like, cats who have a voice, a story to tell, get the backseat, underfunded or outright ignored but the Hollywood machine but those are the people you need to take a chance on. Those are the directors and creators who you need to develop. Josh Trank made one of the dopest cape films not backed by a major studio in Chronicle and Fox wouldn’t let him do what he needed  to in order to properly craft his for Fan4stic narrative. I don’t think that team is very cinematic to begin with but Trank had a unique vision for that property and if Fox felt uncomfortable with it, they shouldn’t have let him cook to begin with. Marvel took Ant-Man away from Edgar Wright for this specific reason and he rebounded by giving us Baby Driver instead; a brilliant heist film that, at its heart, is just a wonderful love story. Great storytellers tell great stories, if you f*cking let them. The Japanese understand the f*ck out of this concept and let their directors and studio houses run wild. Hollywood does not.

Sequels, adaptions, and reboots! Oh My!

Look, I love a good sequel. They add to the lore and build the world created even further. Sometimes those additions are dope as sh*t. The Dark Knight, Aliens, John Wick: Chapter II, T2: Judgment Day, The Godfather Part 2, Winter Soldier, and Split all come to mind. And, yes, Split. It’s a sequel to Unbreakable. These films were all spectacular and embellished an already rich cinema universe. Hell, even the retread of cape films surprised me. Guardians was amazing, Homecoming is easily my favorite of the year but I am a legit Spider-Man fanboy so take that with a grain of salt, and Logan might be nominated for a f*cking Oscar, it was so good: all are basically sequels, adaptions, and reboots! It’s not hard to make a dope retread, particularly when there’s a story to be told. Sh*t like The Last Knight, though? THAT nonsense was unnecessary. An eighth Fast film? Really? Who wants a third XXX and why? Ghost In The Shell was doomed from the beginning. There’s no way an American audience can digest the content of that, even given to them in the brilliantly repackaging of Ex Machina last year. The Mummy was the worst thing I’d seen all year, bar none! Hollywood has become wildly risk averse and have been banking on stupid f*cking reboots no one asked for to hedge their bets and that sh*t is terrible for the industry. I still got a Flatliners reboot, a sequel to Blade, Runner, and another Star Wars film coming out this year. I’ll go see them but I’m not expecting much.  Hollywood’s current track record with this sh*t is atrocious.

Star System

I went and saw The Mummy because I am a fan or the original and the Brendan Frasier duology. The first two were dope but that third one though? Terrible. Just like this reboot! I don’t care that Tom Cruise is in this film. I don’t even LIKE Tom Cruise as an actor. He hasn’t made a film I’ve actually enjoyed since probably A Few Good Men. I saw the Mission Impossible flicks. They’re okay. I don’t remember anything from them except Cruise gets blown up a lot and Philip Seymour Hoffman was a pretty good villain in one of them. No one has got anything on Jaiver Bardem’s Raoul Silva but that cat was Ledger Joker caliber so, you know, high bar. My point is, this ain’t the 80s. Baby Boomers aren’t going to movie like they used to. No one cares WHO is in a film rather than WHAT the film is about. Ids there a plot? Is it shot creatively? How well is it directed? What’s the goddamn point? Why is this flick even a thing? Pirates had a sequel this year banking on star power and it flopped. GITS didn’t even take a chance and cast ScarJo In the lead role of a character named Motoko Kusanagi, only to cop out and make her a Japanese teenage brain, in her cybernetic Scarlett Johansson “shell”, the whole time. That flick also bombed. I didn’t give a sh*t that Jennifer Lawrence was in Mother!, I went to go see that because the plot seemed f*cked up. I adore the rock but I’m not going to go see Jumanji and I flat out REFUSED to take in Baywatch. Both of those premises are f*cking retard. I didn’t go see John Wick or Atomic Blonde because Keanu and Charlize were in them, I went because they looked dope as f*ck! And they were. And they were also beautiful. And they also told a coherent story. And I bought into those universes. And I want a f*cking crossover! No one goes to the theater anymore because of billing. I don’t give a sh*t about celebrities or that star mentality. F*ck off with that nonsense. Do your jobs and make great sh*t. Yall make enough money for it.

Television is making better sh*t

I touched on this earlier with the whole Series of Unfortunate events thing but it’s not just Netflix sh*tting on Tinseltown, regular ass s TV is doing a pretty good job of it as well. Atlanta is the best goddamn show on television and Man Seeking Woman is easily one of the best adaptions of a book I have ever seen put to film. The first two seasons of Fargo are as good as the film they’re based on, and, even though I haven’t seen the third, I hear it shine just as bright. Hannibal was just and OUTSTANDING interpretation of that Lecter series and I was devastated to see it go. Legion was a better X-Men Film than HALF of their franchise! FX is out here making quality sh*t! Starz ain’t no slouch either with its American Gods and AMC is releasing that firer with Better Call Saul and the excellent Breaking Bad. The Walking Dead petered out after the second season but, I guess it’s still good. I guess. I’m not even going to get into the quality of Westworld or its HBO brethren. Showtits is doing well with Ray Donovan or whatever, too. If I can literally get sh*t of this quality on my big ass, 4K, 7.1 surround sound, home media set up, why the f*ck do I want to go to the theater and drop 15 dollars for f*cking Bayformers 5? A sub-par Apocalypse sequel? A terribly adapted anime devoid of the existential questions driving it’s original?

Sh*t costs too much to make

When you’re dropping upwards of a country’s GDP on a goddamn Car chase movie sequel, you don’t want to take risks. I get that. But that’s the f*cking problem. Films use to have something to say, they use to be art. They use to convey emotion and present an actual plot. Now, most movies are bloated special effect spectacles that think more is better and storytelling is ridiculous. Why did King Arthur need a 175 million dollar budget? You could have make that move for a third of that, tightened up the narrative, and created a better, far more profitable film. NOPE! Why did Transformers 5 get a 125 million dollar budget when market research will tell you each of these sh*tty films has had diminishing returns? Cats have been telling you to drop Michael Bay since the second one and you refused, just to watch your budgets bloat and profits wane. Wonder Woman cost 150 mil, a great deal, yes, but modest for a Cape flick. It’s counterpart, BvS, cost 300 million, literally twice as much. Guess which one is a better film overall? Guess which one was better received? Guess which one SAVED the DCEU? Some of the best films of the year had shoestring budgets, Split was made on 9 million, took in 275. Logan was made on 97 and took in 620. Deadpool was made on 58, looks like it was produced for much more, and brought back 785. Baby Driver dropped for 24 mil and hauled in 220. Why are you throwing 230 million at Pirates  when the first only cost 140 mil and brought back 655. That’s 4 and a half times its budget! Number 5 raked in 795 mil, a little over 2 and a half times its budget. Hell, XXX-3 LOST 70 million! Valerian LOST 70 – 100 million! LOST. The Fifth Element, another Luc Besson film, one that did much better in the box office, one that was directly influenced by the Valerian comics, MADE 263 Million of a 90 mil budget. Why did Valerian NEED so much f*cking money? Why did Transformers or Fats 8 or BvS or Kingsman 2 when John Wick Chapter II, Atomic Blonde, Split, and Logan did MUCH better for a fraction of those investments? Hell, f*cking Get Out, one of the most popular films so far this year, cost 9 million to make. It made 250 million dollars, man! Films don’t need 100, 200, 300 goddamn million dollar budgets to be good! More often than not, that kind of money bodes terrible for the movie, unless you’re Marvel, Disney, or Star Wars. If you’re not part of the Disney Zeitgeist, your ass better keep them sh*t’s around 50- 80 million if you want to make any money from now on.

Rotten Tomatoes is doing its job too well

I love Rotten Tomatoes. The reviews are poignant and they tend to be relatively accurate. I tend to air more toward Critics than I do Audience but that’s because I expect more from film than the average American. Out of my consumable media, period. I hate sh*t that doesn’t have substances. My reviews usually reflect that. I can’t stand Zack Snyder or Michael Bay. All their films are is cool looking sh*t and explosions. Neither one of those assholes can tell a story. I use to really like Ridley Scott, but he’ so far up his own ass right now, I don’t even think he could recognize his own masterpiece, Alien, even if he were to sit and watch it. Rotten Tomatoes does a fantastic job of exposing what’s sh*t and Studios HATE it. Movie executives and stars, alike, have gone on tirades about  how that joint is tanking their films before they even release. No, your movie is sh*t and people don’t want to see sh*t, sir. When BvS got torpedoes, cats claimed Marvel paid reviewers. They didn’t. Then they claimed critics didn’t get it because it was too heady. It wasn’t. Then they said it was for the fans. Yo, if your fans look at BvS and see a masterpiece, they’re drunk. Same goes for Suicide Squad, every Transformers film except for the first, and the majority of Adam Sandler’s library. All Rotten Tomatoes does is let you see that “Thumbs Down” before you pay your cash as opposed to having to wait for a reviews in the paper or a magazine. No one is doing that. By the time Ebert got his two cents in, you had already seen that trash or not. Now, thanks to the intrerwebs and RT, you can get an idea about how sh*t a film might be BEFORE you spend your hard earned cash. Lesson to be learned? Hollywood should stop making sh*ta and RT won’t have to sh*t all over them.

Ultimately, Hollywood needs to evolve and fast. We live in an age where information is at our fingertips. Where we can speak to someone on the other side of the country through facetime or skype. Finding a review of a film is as easy as google. Hell, finding the film, itself, is as easy as a torrent site. Yo want to make money in this new age? Stop patronizing your audience. Make sh*t that is both engaging, accessible, and challenging. It’ not hard. Netflix does that sh*t regularly. FX, too. A24 also has a fantastic track record as a distributor. It’s not hard to make a great film, with a great director, on a modest budget. Stop meddling with your talent and them craft their narrative. If the investment is small, you can just shelve the thing and write it off. Split was one of the best films I’ve seen all year and it was a cheap, beautiful, great, f*cking story that added to an established universe, and gave me one of the most brilliant performances I have ever seen. Make more films like that. Stop making bloated, explosion packed excuses to load a bunch of computer effects on film. Scaling back does wonders for perspective.

In the 60s when the Baby Boomers started coming of age, we got Spielberg, Scorsese, and Coppola. Look what they created. It happened again in the 80s. We got Cameron, Hughes, and Cronenberg. The Nineties gave us Tarantino and the aughts gifted us Edgar Wright and Christopher Nolan. These cats started their careers making small films and grew into the powerhouses that they are today. No one is pocket checking James Cameron or Steven Spielberg. No one is telling Tarantino or Coppola or Scorsese to re-shoot a scene. Why is it okay for Trank or Wright to have their vision torpedoed by a bunch of glorified bean counters? Hollywood’s biggest problem I that it’s become too much of an industry, There’s too much money at stake so risk has gone out the window. But that’s not what movies were supposed to be. We movie goers are called Patrons because we’re supporting artists. Let these artists paint, man. Stop trying to stifle creativity for the almighty dollar. Doing so is just going to make you lose more than if you let an up and coming talent, make the movie they want.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Rotten

If you can’t tell by this blog or the many reviews I write or the entire sub-blog full of my reviews, I genuinely enjoy cinema. I enjoy a good movie. I enjoy a trip to the theater. I have since i was little. All of the pomp and circumstance of it; Getting a terribly overpriced hot dog, standing in line for hours to see the new cape flick or summer blockbuster, laughing with an entire auditorium of cats over the most foolish of turns, and bonding over ridiculous scenes with the stranger next to me - ll of that is just too dope. I love going to the theater. That’s why, when I read that this summer was the worst summer for film since 1999, I was flabbergasted. But it’s true. I’ve been to the theater every weekend this year, with the exception of twice, and no one’s there. No one is coming out to see film anymore. The occasional tent poles like It and anything Marvel drops, packed to the gills, everything else? nah. No one wants that experience and it got me wondering why. This is my analysis of that quandary, as a creator of content but more as a fan, first.

Streaming services are supplying box office quality but you don’t have to put on pants

Like literally every other industry that Millennials are killing, we’re apparently choking the life out of the Hollywood but why Why should we go out and spend 15 dollars on a flick that may or may not be terrible, when we can watch new sh*t on Netflix? Better sh*t on Crackle. Original sh*t all over the place. Netflix has the draw to pull huge stars and their productions are often ridiculously high in quality. Okja was dope. Beasts Of No Nation was an Oscar contender. Will Smith, and his hefty ass paycheck, have a movie coming out for them in December, i believe. And it doesn’t stop there. Netflix dropped A Series Of Unfortunate Events as a series and it KILLED the film. Their Marvel properties are spectacular. Daredevil is sh*tting on the majority of what Hollywood crapped out this year by itself! I had more anticipation for Defenders than I did for probably 90 percent of the theatrical releases in 2017! And don’t get me started on Amazon Prime. Seriously, I saw two films this year that are in my top 20 and neither were released wide, stateside. Raw was f*cking incredible and Lure was just as fantastic. They’re foreign, true, but none of them played anywhere near my home in theaters. Not even in the niche, hipster ass theaters! I had to watch them on Prime! But I got a goddamn 8th Fast sequel, though! Ingrid Goes West is a film I’ve been DYING to see but I can’t because it was only out here for a week and now it’s gone. But Wry tho??

Studios are creatively bankrupt

I get sh*t for watching anime. I love that stuff. Love it. Most people think it’s because I like cartoon tiddies and I do, tiddies are awesome, but that’s not why I enjoy anime. My favorites tend to be creatively vibrant and defiantly unique. They tend to be steeped in originality and that makes for an interesting watch. Neon Genesis Evangelion, Akira, Ghost In The Shell (which I will get to in a minute) are all beautifully animated, poignant stories that really engage the viewer and challenges us to actively think about what we’re watching. The last two films to make me engage like that was Ex Machina and The VVitch. Split, too, to a lesser extent, did that as well. The only film that even remotely accomplished that this year was Get Out and people were up at arms about THAT film being racist! Really? You’re missing the f*cking point! It’s like, cats who have a voice, a story to tell, get the backseat, underfunded or outright ignored but the Hollywood machine but those are the people you need to take a chance on. Those are the directors and creators who you need to develop. Josh Trank made one of the dopest cape films not backed by a major studio in Chronicle and Fox wouldn’t let him do what he needed  to in order to properly craft his for Fan4stic narrative. I don’t think that team is very cinematic to begin with but Trank had a unique vision for that property and if Fox felt uncomfortable with it, they shouldn’t have let him cook to begin with. Marvel took Ant-Man away from Edgar Wright for this specific reason and he rebounded by giving us Baby Driver instead; a brilliant heist film that, at its heart, is just a wonderful love story. Great storytellers tell great stories, if you f*cking let them. The Japanese understand the f*ck out of this concept and let their directors and studio houses run wild. Hollywood does not.

Sequels, adaptions, and reboots! Oh My!

Look, I love a good sequel. They add to the lore and build the world created even further. Sometimes those additions are dope as sh*t. The Dark Knight, Aliens, John Wick: Chapter II, T2: Judgment Day, The Godfather Part 2, Winter Soldier, and Split all come to mind. And, yes, Split. It’s a sequel to Unbreakable. These films were all spectacular and embellished an already rich cinema universe. Hell, even the retread of cape films surprised me. Guardians was amazing, Homecoming is easily my favorite of the year but I am a legit Spider-Man fanboy so take that with a grain of salt, and Logan might be nominated for a f*cking Oscar, it was so good: all are basically sequels, adaptions, and reboots! It’s not hard to make a dope retread, particularly when there’s a story to be told. Sh*t like The Last Knight, though? THAT nonsense was unnecessary. An eighth Fast film? Really? Who wants a third XXX and why? Ghost In The Shell was doomed from the beginning. There’s no way an American audience can digest the content of that, even given to them in the brilliantly repackaging of Ex Machina last year. The Mummy was the worst thing I’d seen all year, bar none! Hollywood has become wildly risk averse and have been banking on stupid f*cking reboots no one asked for to hedge their bets and that sh*t is terrible for the industry. I still got a Flatliners reboot, a sequel to Blade, Runner, and another Star Wars film coming out this year. I’ll go see them but I’m not expecting much.  Hollywood’s current track record with this sh*t is atrocious.

Star System

I went and saw The Mummy because I am a fan or the original and the Brendan Frasier duology. The first two were dope but that third one though? Terrible. Just like this reboot! I don’t care that Tom Cruise is in this film. I don’t even LIKE Tom Cruise as an actor. He hasn’t made a film I’ve actually enjoyed since probably A Few Good Men. I saw the Mission Impossible flicks. They’re okay. I don’t remember anything from them except Cruise gets blown up a lot and Philip Seymour Hoffman was a pretty good villain in one of them. No one has got anything on Jaiver Bardem’s Raoul Silva but that cat was Ledger Joker caliber so, you know, high bar. My point is, this ain’t the 80s. Baby Boomers aren’t going to movie like they used to. No one cares WHO is in a film rather than WHAT the film is about. Ids there a plot? Is it shot creatively? How well is it directed? What’s the goddamn point? Why is this flick even a thing? Pirates had a sequel this year banking on star power and it flopped. GITS didn’t even take a chance and cast ScarJo In the lead role of a character named Motoko Kusanagi, only to cop out and make her a Japanese teenage brain, in her cybernetic Scarlett Johansson “shell”, the whole time. That flick also bombed. I didn’t give a sh*t that Jennifer Lawrence was in Mother!, I went to go see that because the plot seemed f*cked up. I adore the rock but I’m not going to go see Jumanji and I flat out REFUSED to take in Baywatch. Both of those premises are f*cking retard. I didn’t go see John Wick or Atomic Blonde because Keanu and Charlize were in them, I went because they looked dope as f*ck! And they were. And they were also beautiful. And they also told a coherent story. And I bought into those universes. And I want a f*cking crossover! No one goes to the theater anymore because of billing. I don’t give a sh*t about celebrities or that star mentality. F*ck off with that nonsense. Do your jobs and make great sh*t. Yall make enough money for it.

Television is making better sh*t

I touched on this earlier with the whole Series of Unfortunate events thing but it’s not just Netflix sh*tting on Tinseltown, regular ass s TV is doing a pretty good job of it as well. Atlanta is the best goddamn show on television and Man Seeking Woman is easily one of the best adaptions of a book I have ever seen put to film. The first two seasons of Fargo are as good as the film they’re based on, and, even though I haven’t seen the third, I hear it shine just as bright. Hannibal was just and OUTSTANDING interpretation of that Lecter series and I was devastated to see it go. Legion was a better X-Men Film than HALF of their franchise! FX is out here making quality sh*t! Starz ain’t no slouch either with its American Gods and AMC is releasing that firer with Better Call Saul and the excellent Breaking Bad. The Walking Dead petered out after the second season but, I guess it’s still good. I guess. I’m not even going to get into the quality of Westworld or its HBO brethren. Showtits is doing well with Ray Donovan or whatever, too. If I can literally get sh*t of this quality on my big ass, 4K, 7.1 surround sound, home media set up, why the f*ck do I want to go to the theater and drop 15 dollars for f*cking Bayformers 5? A sub-par Apocalypse sequel? A terribly adapted anime devoid of the existential questions driving it’s original?

Sh*t costs too much to make

When you’re dropping upwards of a country’s GDP on a goddamn Car chase movie sequel, you don’t want to take risks. I get that. But that’s the f*cking problem. Films use to have something to say, they use to be art. They use to convey emotion and present an actual plot. Now, most movies are bloated special effect spectacles that think more is better and storytelling is ridiculous. Why did King Arthur need a 175 million dollar budget? You could have make that move for a third of that, tightened up the narrative, and created a better, far more profitable film. NOPE! Why did Transformers 5 get a 125 million dollar budget when market research will tell you each of these sh*tty films has had diminishing returns? Cats have been telling you to drop Michael Bay since the second one and you refused, just to watch your budgets bloat and profits wane. Wonder Woman cost 150 mil, a great deal, yes, but modest for a Cape flick. It’s counterpart, BvS, cost 300 million, literally twice as much. Guess which one is a better film overall? Guess which one was better received? Guess which one SAVED the DCEU? Some of the best films of the year had shoestring budgets, Split was made on 9 million, took in 275. Logan was made on 97 and took in 620. Deadpool was made on 58, looks like it was produced for much more, and brought back 785. Baby Driver dropped for 24 mil and hauled in 220. Why are you throwing 230 million at Pirates  when the first only cost 140 mil and brought back 655. That’s 4 and a half times its budget! Number 5 raked in 795 mil, a little over 2 and a half times its budget. Hell, XXX-3 LOST 70 million! Valerian LOST 70 – 100 million! LOST. The Fifth Element, another Luc Besson film, one that did much better in the box office, one that was directly influenced by the Valerian comics, MADE 263 Million of a 90 mil budget. Why did Valerian NEED so much f*cking money? Why did Transformers or Fats 8 or BvS or Kingsman 2 when John Wick Chapter II, Atomic Blonde, Split, and Logan did MUCH better for a fraction of those investments? Hell, f*cking Get Out, one of the most popular films so far this year, cost 9 million to make. It made 250 million dollars, man! Films don’t need 100, 200, 300 goddamn million dollar budgets to be good! More often than not, that kind of money bodes terrible for the movie, unless you’re Marvel, Disney, or Star Wars. If you’re not part of the Disney Zeitgeist, your ass better keep them sh*t’s around 50- 80 million if you want to make any money from now on.

Rotten Tomatoes is doing its job too well

I love Rotten Tomatoes. The reviews are poignant and they tend to be relatively accurate. I tend to air more toward Critics than I do Audience but that’s because I expect more from film than the average American. Out of my consumable media, period. I hate sh*t that doesn’t have substances. My reviews usually reflect that. I can’t stand Zack Snyder or Michael Bay. All their films are is cool looking sh*t and explosions. Neither one of those assholes can tell a story. I use to really like Ridley Scott, but he’ so far up his own ass right now, I don’t even think he could recognize his own masterpiece, Alien, even if he were to sit and watch it. Rotten Tomatoes does a fantastic job of exposing what’s sh*t and Studios HATE it. Movie executives and stars, alike, have gone on tirades about  how that joint is tanking their films before they even release. No, your movie is sh*t and people don’t want to see sh*t, sir. When BvS got torpedoes, cats claimed Marvel paid reviewers. They didn’t. Then they claimed critics didn’t get it because it was too heady. It wasn’t. Then they said it was for the fans. Yo, if your fans look at BvS and see a masterpiece, they’re drunk. Same goes for Suicide Squad, every Transformers film except for the first, and the majority of Adam Sandler’s library. All Rotten Tomatoes does is let you see that “Thumbs Down” before you pay your cash as opposed to having to wait for a reviews in the paper or a magazine. No one is doing that. By the time Ebert got his two cents in, you had already seen that trash or not. Now, thanks to the intrerwebs and RT, you can get an idea about how sh*t a film might be BEFORE you spend your hard earned cash. Lesson to be learned? Hollywood should stop making sh*ta and RT won’t have to sh*t all over them.

Ultimately, Hollywood needs to evolve and fast. We live in an age where information is at our fingertips. Where we can speak to someone on the other side of the country through facetime or skype. Finding a review of a film is as easy as google. Hell, finding the film, itself, is as easy as a torrent site. Yo want to make money in this new age? Stop patronizing your audience. Make sh*t that is both engaging, accessible, and challenging. It’ not hard. Netflix does that sh*t regularly. FX, too. A24 also has a fantastic track record as a distributor. It’s not hard to make a great film, with a great director, on a modest budget. Stop meddling with your talent and them craft their narrative. If the investment is small, you can just shelve the thing and write it off. Split was one of the best films I’ve seen all year and it was a cheap, beautiful, great, f*cking story that added to an established universe, and gave me one of the most brilliant performances I have ever seen. Make more films like that. Stop making bloated, explosion packed excuses to load a bunch of computer effects on film. Scaling back does wonders for perspective.

In the 60s when the Baby Boomers started coming of age, we got Spielberg, Scorsese, and Coppola. Look what they created. It happened again in the 80s. We got Cameron, Hughes, and Cronenberg. The Nineties gave us Tarantino and the aughts gifted us Edgar Wright and Christopher Nolan. These cats started their careers making small films and grew into the powerhouses that they are today. No one is pocket checking James Cameron or Steven Spielberg. No one is telling Tarantino or Coppola or Scorsese to re-shoot a scene. Why is it okay for Trank or Wright to have their vision torpedoed by a bunch of glorified bean counters? Hollywood’s biggest problem I that it’s become too much of an industry, There’s too much money at stake so risk has gone out the window. But that’s not what movies were supposed to be. We movie goers are called Patrons because we’re supporting artists. Let these artists paint, man. Stop trying to stifle creativity for the almighty dollar. Doing so is just going to make you lose more than if you let an up and coming talent, make the movie they want.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: I larb You

Just as kind of a disclaimer, I want to openly state I am a Spider-Man fanboy so this review is a little biased. However, if you tone down my invariable gushing, you’re left with a strong recommendation for a film that just happens to be about my all-time favorite Superhero. Take what I have to say with a grain of salt, but understand that you should definitely see this film. Definitely. See. This. Film. Now, that aside, can we just take a minute to appreciate how goddamn beautiful Maris Tomei is?

Hot Aunt May is confusing the sh*t out of my inner child, man...

The Best

Tom Holland IS Spider-Man. Seriously, this kid is to Perter Parker as RDJ is to Iron Man and it’s goddamn Amazing. All of the puns intended. He did a great job as Pete and that’s the point. Unlike McGuire or Garfield kind of played the characters of Peter and Spider-Man differently, Holland doesn’t. He’s Pete in the mask and out   and I found that ridiculously refreshing. That’s who Spider-Man is. That’s who Spider-Man should be. He’s a 15 year old kid trying to figure things out. He might eventually become that hero everyone knows around the neighborhood but he’s not there yet and Holland does a fantastic job of portraying that. Kid did a fantastic job and I hope Sony understands that they NEED Marvel at this point. Fingers crossed.

Bro, Michael Keaton as Adrian Toomes is arguably the best villain in the MCU. He legitimately gave Hiddleston’s Loki a run for his money, I kid you not. It was surreal how menacing this cat was while being ridiculously sympathetic. Like, he didn’t want to BE the Vulture, circumstances FORCED him to be and you feel that immediately. Keaton played it brilliantly, particularly in that car ride scene. You’ll know it when you see it. Cat was f*cking ominously charming. Like, I’d say he was about as good as Ledger’s Joker but I think I’d be overselling that a little, mostly because the tone of the films is so different. But, for what Homecoming was, Keaton was about as good as Ledger was for The Dark Knight.

Dat overall casting, tho! Marvel has a way with casting their characters that’s almost perfect. Literally everyone in this film fits the role they need to portray perfectly. There were standouts and I’ll get to them shortly, but goddamn! Marvel is just too good at making the right choices for their roles. It’s borderline uncanny and I don’t understand why Fox won’t let them have FF back. It’s obvious they’ll do them justice.

The Better

Dem Easter Eggs, tho!

Zendaya was outstanding as “Michelle”. She wasn’t in the film much but the time she had was used to maximum effect. After Holland and Keaton, she’s easily my favorite character in this movie. Easily. I hope she does more stuff from here on out because, after her role in this flick, I must say, I am a Zandaya fan.

I adored Marisa Tomei as Aunt may. She owned that role and gave us take on May we haven’t seen. Young, hot, may is in now and I’m all for it. To be honest, I never understood why May was so old. Like, how old was Pee’s dad? Cats have to understand, much like the rest of the current MCU, this film is based heavily on the more grounded take of Marvel’s Ultimate universe, which is wild since they folded that line a few years back. In that universe, May isn’t a goddamn octogenarian but she ain’t Marisa Tomei either. This take makes more sense. Marisa Tomei made more sense in that world and he made a nice little place for herself in it.

All that diversity was f*cking dope to see. I’m glad Marvel decided to actually make a high school movie where the kids in high school actually look like kids in high school. Hollywood has a hard time doing that but Homecoming kind of nailed it. I bought that Pete was on the Decathlon team. I bought the requisite Gym class scene. I bought that Flash was a dick because he’s just kind of a dick.

The cameos in this film are mad dope. They all shine for one reason or another but the standouts, to me, were Donald Glover and Hannibal Burress. I don’t want to spoil their roles and they weren’t in the film as much as I’d like them to have been but they made magic with the limited time they did have. Glover’s character in particular has some potential ramifications for the entirety of the MCU that I’m not going to get into but trust, if you’re a Spider-Fan, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Homecoming does its best impression of a John Hughes film and it shows. There is literally a scene lifted directly from one of Hughes’ bigger hits, and then they reference THAT scene IN the middle of THEIR scene! Meta stuff like that kind of litters this film but it’s never intrusive or overstays it’s welcome. There is a pitch to this flick that’s nailed perfectly.

The Good

Dat Iron-Spider, tho!

While I applaud Marvel’s take on modernizing a flagship title with actual, American, diversity, I was a little disappointed there wasn’t more screen time for certain characters. Like, it never comes off as tokenism but I think there should have been a bit more emphasis on the POC characters. Not much but more.

It’s good to see RDJ and Favreau in their iconic, respective, roles. I didn’t know I missed Happy Hogan as much as I did until he was onscreen.

Bokeem Woodbine did a serviceable job as Shocker. I thought he was a bit too much hench-goon but he did what he could with that limited role. Same with the cat who played the Tinkerer, Michael Chernus I think is what his name is.

The direction was outstanding. You can tell there was a vision and John Watts does a superb job of guiding it to it’s inevitable brilliance. I knew dude was a decent director but I wasn’t sure a marquee cape flick was his cup of tea. I mean, dude made Clown and Cop Car, bother excellent movies but so far from Homecoming’s tone, it’s laughable. But, I must say, dude surprised. He did a great job helming this film and I look forward to what he has in store next. I read somewhere they wanted to do a Harry Potter type situation where every film is another year in school and I’m so okay with that. Make it happ’n, cap’n!

This is a legitimately beautiful film. The way it’s shot, the way it’s framed, all of that epic scale and cinematography; Kudos to Salvatore Totino. He did a fantastic job.

Sony did right by Web-Head. Marvel was able to craft one helluva tale and it fits perfectly in-universe. As long as Sony doesn’t get greedy, and they might because this thing made 15 million in A night, there is a beautiful future on the horizon for these films. Fingers crossed Sony decided against their stupid f*cking Spider-Verse and just seeds Marvel them rights because, seriously, if o can take a villain as goofy as the Vulture and turn him into what he was in this film, you know what the f*ck you’re doing.

The Verdict

Overall, there isn’t much wrong with this film. Is it perfect? No. But it’s damn close. Flick is sitting at a 93 on Rotten Tomatoes right now and it earns the f*ck out of that rating. It’s every bit a 93. That has it as the second highest rated comic flick on the site! Go f*cking see Spider-man: Homecoming. See it twice. Give the Disney overlords all of your money so they make more of these flicks. It was so good, man. I can’t stress how awesome this movie was, how awesome these characters are. They nailed Spider-Man. They nailed Spider-Man’s world. I’ll probably see this film two more times, at least, and the last movie is aw that many times was The Dark Knight., Spider-Man Homecoming is seriously, objectively, unbiased, that f*cking good. It’s an outstanding Cape flick and a great f*cking movie, overall.