#he didnt react so im hoping he wasnt too offended by it but i was like FUCK

[eddie-rifff]

i feel like steve hackett gets left out of the convo when talking about great prog guitar players, i guess because hes not as flashy as alex lifeson or as technical as fripp but the dude can play guiitar. hes very precise and can come up with some beautiful, intricate melodies and can seriously shred when he wants to. he might be a little understated for some people's liking but it suits genesis' music really well, in the same way mike's bass playing does. luv u steve

[professor-beaker]

(Warning: very long rant about growing up religious and aroace. Might delete this in an hour. Idk)

Dear mom and dad,

Do you remember when i was 14, and had my first kiss? You probably dont- for you, it was just another sunday. He was one of my only church friends, and he pulled me, alone, into one of the music rooms after sacrament meeting. You encouraged me to go with him, because you could read the signs i couldnt. He was very polite, but when we kissed and he grabbed my hand on the way out, it felt more wrong than anything id experienced before. I ran back to you, crying, and you walked me through rejecting him. You basically told me that i was just too young, that it would get better, but it certainly didnt feel that way at the time. Every time youve reminisced on it since, it was only to laugh at my expense. At my naievety.

I tried to take your words to heart. I tried to listen each time our church would preach about how essential families were and each time you told me how happy you two were. It didnt work.

Do you remember when i was 15, and i told you, mom, that adopting sounded way better than having biological kids? You got so offended, and i had no idea why. I still dont. You told me it was a natural part of life, that we were supposed to bring children into this world. I tried to explain my reasoning- why would i want my own children when there are those who are suffering on their own? When the thought of procreation made me sick?- but you dismissed it. It was just another day.

Do you remember the brief period when i was 15, when i dated a girl? I assume you dont, because you never found out. I lived in constant fear, because the comments you would make at the dinner table described lgbtq+ as an affront to God, as unnatural. I had thought that men were the problem, and she was my first real partner. But nothing changed, it still felt wrong, and we fell back into only being friends. I hadnt told you about that until today, because i knew exactly what youd say about it. I knew exactly what youd say about me.

Do you remember the boy i met when i was 16? The one with the curly hair and the kind smile. You were always pushing me toward him, because you saw how he looked at me (i saw, too- and i didnt like it). He took me to homecoming, and prom, and danced too close to me for my liking. You always asked if we were a thing yet- and when i said no, you smiled knowingly. I hated that smile. And you smiled that smile for years.

I reconnected with him when i was home over winter break. We hung out once, i told him my sexuality, and he barely reacted. When you asked how it went, i told you i rejected him romantically, but we were still friends. Do you remember what you said, mom? You said, "so you broke his heart and left." I cried that night.

Do you remember when you found my aroace pins a month ago? Im at college in a different state- a religious college you wanted me to go to- and you still made it your priority to berate me for it. I dont know if you could tell how angry i was over the phone, but when you said "asexual and things are just looking for attention", it broke my heart.

Because i figured it out when i was 17. Because it took me two years to finally accept it in a religion that very strongly emphasized the family unit. Because i finally felt accepted, i felt heard, i wasnt being dismissed at every corner. Because i had something to explain why i was like this.

Because i finally didnt feel broken.

I never doubted that you loved me- not once, ever, in my life. Not until you started degrading me for something i couldnt control. Not until you started pressuring me to date people i would much rather be friends with. If youre not going to love all of me, then do you even love me at all?

I hope you know that i still love you, despite everything. But i hate the way you talk to me now, the way you talk to others about me. And i hope that one day, you, too, will realize that im not broken, or affronting God, or unnatural. I hope you realize that im still your child.

I hope you realize im still human.

[kweebtrash]

Kinktober #3: Face Sitting (M)

Pairing: Hongseok x 2nd Person Reader

Summary:  Some kinda realer scenarios where not everyone can cum easily or have those magic orgasms but face sitting/riding may do the trick. Also Honk is excited for his victory

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I know kinktober is supposed to be S p i c y TM but idk, sometimes i just want some sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Kinktober Prompts by @immabiteyou​

You always had a problem with cumming. You had no idea what it was but nothing, no matter how hard you tried, took you over that edge. There may have been some small tremors here and there and you definitely werent asking for an over the top bone rattling orgasm at this point. Just ANYTHING would be fine. It always weighed on the back of your mind, especially knowing that Hongseok tried his absolute fucking damndest to make sure you felt good.

And you did. The way his strong hands roamed over your body, spreading fire throughout your skin, always made shivers zip throughout. His kisses were full of healing magic; those soft, sweet plump lips could cure any bad day but also ignite the dirtiest of feelings to where you ended up clawing at each other. His body-well that was a given- the boy woke up and looked at his abs first thing in the morning, every morning. He was obsessed with being fit (sometimes too obsessed) and there was a prying thought of self consciousness that popped into your head every once in awhile. Comparing the way you looked on his arm to his being in general sometimes made you feel like you werent good enough for him. But that surely couldnt have be part of the problem.

Because here he was, once again devoted to your body and full of determination. He knew you enjoyed fucking, the act of being close to him in of itself was always special and exciting. It was just your stupid body that wouldnt react. It was like your brain was screaming in pleasure but your body was just like ‘meh, gonna take the one thing you desire the most and just not do it’.

Maybe there were a few traumatic things that had to be worked through, sure, but Hongsi was the only man you had every fully trusted to never let you down. He knew almost immediately the first few times you had faked it, and it offended him, but you explained the annoyance at yourself-which was a bit hard to say the least.

“I loved it. I felt great, seriously i did. The only part that was faked was…"the end.”

And why? Because you were used to it. Because it was ingrained in you to do it; always making the man feel like he had done an amazing job-except this time Hongseok actually had. From the first time to the most recent. He never failed but you did.

He wanted honesty from that point on. He wanted to work on things, try everything under the sun; from restraints, to wax, to toys, and positions that were sometimes almost impossible. But it remained a puzzle the two of you couldnt solve. Tonight didnt seem to be any different save for the fact that you had taken up residence on his face like it was a goddamn throne. His tongue was diving so deep inside you, filling you with a nice warm, wet, thickness that made the pit of your stomach clench. He had eaten you out before, that was one of the first things he tried in an attempt to make you cum, but it had never occurred to either of you to actually try face sitting. Why? Who knows. Sometimes the simplest of things slip the mind and perhaps the whole time the two of you had been overthinking it.

But with all the gadgets and gizmos and positions that made you feel like you were in a yoga class thrown out the window, you found your nails digging into the wall that you had been supporting yourself on. The scratching forced chips of paint to crumble from the wall though it was nothing compared to how fast the headboard was thumping against it. Your thighs were burning but you continued rolling your hips like it was your job. Hongseok spurred you on as he seemed to enjoy this just as much as you were. Perhaps he was enjoying it much more.

He was growling, sometimes snarling, as he paired flickers of his tongue with hot open mouth kisses to your heat and nibbles to any sensitive area he could reach, especially the junction of your inner thighs. While your fingers dug into the wall, his dug into your hips, your ass, your back, marring you with the blunt indentations of his short nails and leaving streaks of red in their wake. You were sure he had barely come up for air and the one second you pulled away to make sure he was okay he forced you right back down to his lips with his nose brushing against the bundle of nerves that had awakened with desire. You were feeling all of your lower muscles tighten to the point where your legs almost felt numb but it was all worth it.

Hongseok slid his tongue through your folds once more, the tip of it teasing your hole that you though he had finally given a break to. The slow and lazy drags, however, were making you shudder just as much as the fast ones and covered your frame with everlasting tingles. Your free hand gripped onto his sweat soaked hair as you tried to level yourself. Holy shit, was this really it? Was this really the time were it would happen? Oh god, you werent ready. Well you were- in the sense that you had been waiting for this for YEARS with him-but also you werent exactly sure what it would feel like. Would this be one of those tiny ones that just felt like a relaxing exhale or one of those wild porn ones that were so ridiculous? Were you really going to scream in ecstasy and feel like you were going insane? Hell yes you were.

“H-Hong,” you choked out as he suctioned his lips around your clit while his thumbs spread your lower lips wide apart. “I think it-it’s happening.”

His eyes flung open, wide and flickering with undertones of amber within the dim beside lamp’s light. “Whats happening?” The words came out in muffled jumbles as he refused to pull away.

“You know…it. The…the thing.”

He finally pulled away as bewilderment spread across his face. “You mean like you feel like youre gonna cum?”

“I-i think so? I mean…im assuming that’s why everything feels so tense, like im gonna explode. That’s what happens right?”

“I think its different for everyone. I get tense too, but then i feel all warm and get kinda snuggly and hold onto you tighter.” He did and it was the cutest fucking thing ever.

“Well im hoping this is it.” You sighed.

“Dont start thinking about it now or you’ll lose focus. Just concentrate on me, babe. Just like before, yeah? Can you ride my face some more?”

“You really like this dont you?” You peered down at him and giggled.

“Baby, you were literally born to sit on my face, i swear it. It sounds stupid and fuckboy-ish, I know, but Ive never wanted this so bad until i felt you grind against my lips.”

Red flushed your cheeks and you looked away in an effort to hide your sudden shyness. Hongsi just chucked and placed the gentlest of kisses to your clit. “On me. Focus.” He reminded you again and you exhaled deeply, letting your mind go as much as it had before. Through the painful numbness in your bent legs that surrounded his head, you pushed on, wiggling your hips in a teasing way that earned a small smack to your ass. The sting made you jump but feel ever so much naughtier. It kick started your chaotic grinds again which welcomed the harsh thrusts and lewd slurping. It was almost embarrassing to hear how wet your were from both your cum and his tongue but in a weird way it gave you a sense of pride and reassurance that this felt amazing.

More pressure built up within your system and you found yourself short of breath now. You swallowed hard and tried to recoup but it was all for naught as your heart thundered so loud you could hear it in your ears. You had managed to make the headboard slam harder against the wall, the top of the filigreed wood leaving its own mark in the paint much like your nails had. Your thighs tightened and you could feel him smile into your skin. He fucking loved the way you seemed so close to crushing his skull if you actually could. The yanking of his hair to shove him closer, as if it were possible at this point, also had him lifting his head as your hips dipped and the very tip of his tongue hit something inside you just as it curled.

And then you let go. Almost so fast from everything that Hongseok had to press his hands into your lower back to prevent you from tossing yourself back completely. You were shaking, your knees digging into the pillow beneath his head. Your hands that had found safety in the wall and his hair now flailed and searched for something to hold onto but it was like they couldnt. You had lost all control. Your brain was fuzzy. Your body was fuzzy. But best of all you felt wave after wave of clench and release with your first full orgasm.

He finally let you go and you collapsed to the wayside instantly curling against his side. He pulled you into his arms and speckled your head with kisses as he squeezed you tight. He was patient and waited for you to come down though he was absolutely beaming with pride. “That was…not how i imagined it would feel like but holy shit.” You managed to finally say.

“Fuck yeah!!” He said victoriously and he raised his hand for a high five. You couldnt help but laugh at his dorkiness and return the gesture. The excitement and happiness between you two was unfathomable. You didnt want to say that this was the best night with him just because you finally came. There had been plenty of other times where he made you feel so perfect and precious and completely in love with him that you almost cherished that more. But tonight was definitely like top five material.

“Im happy i could finally do this for you…” He returned to seriousness and you sighed as you began to wipe away traces of your cum from his face.

“Im sorry if you felt like i put pressure on you. I never meant-”

“Nah, it wasnt you. It was me. You know how i can sometimes be a perfectionist and i know its not like the end all be all of our relationship but…i dont know. I always felt like you deserved to feel good and happy. Like you just deserved…everything.” He shrugged and pretended to take more interest in plucking away a stray hair from your shoulder.

The guilt you had accumulated over the years suddenly lessened and you realized that it wasnt just about making you feel good sexually. It was actually, as cliche as it sounded, about bringing you two closer together in devotion and fulfilling a fantasy. The warmth in your body returned but for a different and cheesy romance movie kinda reason and you snuggled closer to his chiseled chest.

“Thank you…” You whispered. “For not being annoyed or giving up on me and helping me work through whatever was holding me back.”

“It’s what im here for, right? I think i’d be a shitty boyfriend if i wasnt.”

“Well you got that right.” You tilted your head up and kissed him gently, tasting the aftermath on his lips. “You better go wash your face before it gets all sticky.”

“That can wait. Besides i was kinda wondering if….” The both of you looked down at his cock, knocking your heads in the process. It never failed for the two of you to have an idiotic moment but he definitely needed to be rewarded after this.

[ayzashl]

Pairing: Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Crack (i think)

Also um, im new to these so sorry for possible gramatical errors or typos (i dont double check bc I literally was bored doing this and just, decided to share it on tumblr lmao)

Disclaimer, I made this out of boredom because I was thinking about exams and stuff and was wondering about how my husbando would react about my situation, having placed on high ranks barely putting efforts towards studying lmao (Not rlly bragging im sorry if it came out as bragging :((, i jusy rlly be curious and hopefully I portrayed it like how I expected for him to react, sorry im new to writing bc I mainly draw🌚👉👈)

***

It was already sunset. The hues of yellow, orange and red envelops the dorms of U.A high school, its gradient tinting the windows of the students occupying the rooms shine bright, displaying its vibrant colors on the inside of each dorms facing the sunset.

You, who were sitting on your knees, switching positions time to time, searching for a particular pose to get comfortable while drawing on your boyfriend's kotatsu in his dorm, door leading into the balcony open, making the cold breeze of late October allow itself to enter the room.

Autumn has already arrived, and that also means midterm exams. It had just finished today. After a almost whole month of preparing for the exams, and the 3 days of taking it, the students of 1-A was relieved and relaxing in their rooms as the days of hardhips were finally over, plus its a Friday so the students were scattered on each others dorms due to the upcoming weekend.

You were taking a sip of your juicebox, almost emptying it now out of frustration for having a hard time drawing a hand. In your opinion, the struggle was equal or actually a lot harder than your midterms. Art frustrates you a lot and your boyfriend wonders why you still do it, yet never really ask you since he can also tell you're really passionate about it than your other hobbies.

He was sitting on his futon, leaning againts the wall as he stare at your back figure, watching you scribble something on your sketchpad and aggressively erasing it afterwards, making the papers crumble into the direction on where you rub it, making you groan in annoyance even more.

As he observes your actions, a thought runs up his mind, asking himself the same particular questions over and over again.

"Why?"

He asks himself. Why were you putting most of your effort into this drawing? Why were you more irritated in this than the midterm exams?

"Just..... why?"

Shoto had noticed you since the start of your so-called-library-dates, although its mostly just you accompanying him to gather resources for the upcoming exams while you just scan your notes or draw, or read a completely different book whose topic is not related to your exams.

Its always been like that everyday, he never really saw you offer a lot of your energy in terms of studying, like most of the students does, as he noticed the library being almost full as soon as October started.

He saw you scan your notes time to time, yes. But full on concentration on studies? no, never seen you. The most of what he saw were you fixate immensely on your math notebook before exams started, and that was it.

The exams ended abruptly on the second day but there was extra curricular on the Hero's Course on the third day before their final grade were posted. And yes, both of you did well. After the announcement, Shoto (and you) were shocked to find out that you were in 6th place and he placed in 5th. You both exchanged congratulations, you mostly squealing out of joy to actually achieve this particular rank.

Shoto on the other hand was, doubting?. Of course he feels happy for you, but at the back of his mind, he was a little agitated. You both got the exam results at the end of the third day and to his surprise (and also yours, but internally) your scores were high, almost having the amount of same mistakes as him, except your math which you devastatingly, almost failed (lmao), which merely affected your overall result since your scores were high anyways.

Your boyfriend wasnt the type to get irritated over these things, heck yeah he feels ecstatic over your accomplishment, signal the kiss he gave you on your forehead plus the soft look he gave you with a slight smile displayed on his face. But there was a faint thought of doubt running through the back of his head, how did you get such results when you were barely even studying? There was no way you would cheat right? He didnt want to accept it, he didnt want to doubt you, but it was the one of the highest possibilities that was mostly that likely happened, as he could think of right now.

He couldnt let go of this thought unless he confronts you about it right now, so he decided to ask you, waiting for a few moments, observing you, waiting for you to calm down a little from your work.

"Y/n...."

"Hmm?" you hum, not turning yout back at him, eyes and most of your attention fixated on the paper.

"How did you manage to get a high rank even though I barely saw you studying?" he finally asks, hoping you wont get offended by it, but this thought had been bothering him a little, and he wouldnt be satisfied until he gets his answer, as the stubborn man that he is.

"Are you doubting me?" you say in an offended tone, although you meant it sarcastically, turning your back, giving Shoto your full attention now as you crawl towards him, pencil dropping in the background as you make your way towards your boyfriend, offering him to lay down as you pat his futon. He complies so, already knowing you wanted to cuddle whenever you do that certain action.

You cuddle next to him, facing him as you give him a smile to reassure him that you werent offended by him back then. "Did you notice that in class, I always, almost bury my head on my notebook, writing on it almost 24/7 whenever lecture starts?" you ask him, as you start to fidget his hair on the sides which you and him really enjoy, making its way up to his bangs, and back and fort.

"You were.... writing?" Shoto asks, raising an eyebrow with the same stoic face who seemed not to show a lot of emotions, a little dumbfounded. "I thought you were doodling". You burst out in laughter from the small misunderstanding of your boyfriend.

"Of course I was. You see, whatever the teacher blurts about that sounds important to me, I write it down because, you know, its usually what appears in exams" you explain to him, closing your eyes time to time as if you were a philosopher, passionately explaining your beliefs, only with an added self-sense of humor. As he was on the other had was, fascinated.

I mean, who knew?

"Also just to clarify things, I do put some extra effort on, some of my studies"

"By some you mean just the science topic you reported you keep rereading everyday"

"......yes"

Shoto lighlty chuckles as he moves your head to his chest, placing an arm on your head, planting a kiss on your forehead, as a sign of affection like he always does. He feels a little guilty, assuming you were cheating but in the end, you were just and always has been the genius that you were. Heck if you actually put a lot of effort in your study, you might actually come out at the top in the class, but he's aware you have other things to focus and worry about as his eyes gaze at the table with a slightly crumpled juice box standing out.

"Were you mad?" you ask, out of curiousity. You had assumed he was maybe upset about the results because he gets a little too competitive or has the sentiment that he has to prove that he only isnt good with his powers, but in academics as well, considering his situation.

He lightly shook his head as he fully encloses you to his grasp, leg placed on your sides, locking you in as he settles his face on your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your lavender shampoo in which he always adores.

You on the other hand, was relieved now that the matter was somehow resolved? Putting those thoughts at the back of your head, your perception of relief was shortly replaced by a wave of worry as you lightly chuckle of uneasiness.

"Shoto?" you tap his sides, body tightly secured onto his. This was the one that made worry. His hands tightly clutching you, but not too much, leg on your sides, locking you in so that you wont get away easily, to him it made him feel happy, knowing that you werent going away and draw for a while. You've had situations like these already and all you ever do is give up and shower him with affection, already knowing he was slightly, probably getting a little touch starved, craving for your attention and affection. But in your situation right now, it was, unpleasant, so to say.

Not after you just finished your juicebox.

-Disclaimer, uh, I made this from

He hums in response, head tilted a little more into your head's direction. He was sure you would have given up already, knowing that he will never let you go.

"I need to pee"

"..."

"Shoto..."

"........"

"Sho"

"All I can say is good luck getting out"

"......"

"Noooooooohohohoooo!!!" you exclaim, with a sarcastic crying in your tone. This was gonna be one hell of a struggle.

.

Im bad at explaining things, hope you did enjoy reading this as much as I did though :))

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Acceptance

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader x Roger Taylor

Summary: They meet the reader’s family for the first time

Requested: Nope

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: I hope you guys like this - it’s my first time writing for a relationship like this and writing for this pairing so please let me know what you think!!! Please reblog and leave comments, they really make my day and inspire me to write more - I reply and follow back with my main blog @ijustreallylovezebras

“There’s no need to look so nervous, love, parents love me,” Ben said, reaching back and grabbing Y/N’s hand from where it was drumming on the centre console. Y/N bit her lip, smiling at him uncertainly.

“They tend to hate me,” Roger piped up with a mischievous grin, catching Y/N’s eye in the mirror and winking at her in the hopes the cheeky action would calm her down a little. Y/N’s smile grew a little and Roger took one hand off of the steering wheel to place it on top of Ben’s so that the three of them were clasping their hands tightly together.

“I love you guys,” she said quietly, leaning forwards so that her head was resting on their hands. Roger and Ben shared a soft smile over the top of her head.

“We love you too,” Ben responded, leaning down to kiss the top of her hair.

“And it will be fine today, honestly,” Roger promised, squeezing their hands quickly.

“No matter what happens today, we’ll still be the same, us three, yeah?” Ben said. Y/N turned her head so she was looking towards him and smile at her boyfriend.

“Yeah,” she agreed quietly. 

Ben used his free hand to turn the radio on, turning the volume down so it was playing quietly, enough to relax the three of them - him and Roger were much more stressed about meeting Y/N’s family than they were letting on.

They were sat in the same way that they always did when they drove anywhere. Roger was in the driver’s seat - he almost always drove, and when it wasn’t him it was Ben, they insisted that Y/N wasn’t a good driver, a running joke amongst the three of them, the only time they allowed her to drive them was when they had been on a night out and she was the only one sober enough to do so. Ben was in the passenger seat and in charge of the music controls and keeping Roger entertained while he drove. Y/N was in the middle of the back seat. She almost always sat in the back because it meant that she could fall asleep and stretch out as much as she wanted, something that Ben and Roger actively encouraged as they were always concerned that Y/N was not getting enough sleep.

“Love? Love you need to wake up,” Ben said, gently shaking her shoulder. Y/N groaned and raised her head to blink at her boyfriend. Ben offered her a smile. “There’s our girl,”

“I need you to direct me,” Roger explained. “Sorry to wake you up, Princess,” Y/N stretched forwards in her seat to press a sloppy kiss on Roger’s cheek as a response.

She rested her head against Ben’s shoulder as she mumbled directions out to Roger, who still held their hands tightly in his, shooting them adoring looks every once in a while.

They pulled into Y/N’s family’s driveway, gravel crunching under the wheels and Roger turned off the car, the three of them sitting for a moment, taking in the momentous occasion.

“I’m shitting myself,” Y/N finally announced and the boys laughed. Roger turned her head towards him and placed a firm kiss to her lips.

“We’re meant to be the scared ones, love,” Ben pointed out and Y/N smiled, turning to him and kissing him quickly.

“We’ll be fine,” Roger promised and Ben smiled at him, his gaze so loving and adoring that Y/N could feel nothing but ecstatic.

They lent over the centre console, their lips meeting in the middle, both of them grinning into the kiss.

“Are you guys coming in?” The boys broke apart, embarrassed, but Y/N couldn’t help the squeal that escaped as she flung the car door open, throwing herself into the waiting arms of her sister. Jenny laughed, squeezing Y/N tight in a hug. “The kids have not shut up about seeing their aunt again,”

“I’m their favourite aunt!” Y/N grinned.

“Yeah, you need to tell them to stop saying that to Hannah’s face, she’s getting offended,”

“But it’s true,” she protested and Jenny let out another laugh, hugging her sister again quickly. 

“She doesn’t need to know that though,” she nudged Y/N and Y/N rolled her eyes. “Are you going to introduce me then?” She asked, nodding towards Roger and Ben who were waiting patiently throughout the reunion, smiling a little as they watched. 

They would have looked perfectly at ease if Y/N didn’t know them so well. Ben was biting his lip harder than normal and Roger’s free hand was drumming on his jeans, as was his nervous tell whenever neither Ben nor Y/N had a spare hand.

“Right!” Y/N exclaimed, stepping back and grabbing Roger’s nervous hand. He shot her a grateful smile at her action and squeezed it in acknowledgement. She then looped her hand through Ben’s arm, leaning against his muscles a little. “Jenny this is Ben and this is Roger. Ben, Roger, this is my sister, Jenny,” 

“Y/N hasn’t shut up about you two,” Jenny informed the guys who let out nervous laughs.

“Trust me, it’s been the same for us two,” Roger said, nodding over at Ben over y/N’s head. Y/N pulled a face, which made Jenny chuckle.

Ben dropped one suitcase and held out his hand to Jenny who rolled her eyes a little, shaking her head.

“Come here, dude,” she said simply, pulling Ben into a hug. Ben was slow to react, taken by surprise at the warm gesture, but dropped the other suitcase and Y/N’s arm, hugging Jenny back. “And you,” she laughed as she parted from Ben and smiled at Roger who grinned and was quick to embrace her.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Ben commented and Jenny nodded.

“Yeah you guys too,” 

“See,” Ben whispered, kissing her forehead and Y/N turned to smile at him, kissing him quickly.

“Wait until you meet her kids,” she warned as Jenny took one of the suitcases from Ben. Roger took her hand again, swinging them backwards and forwards.

“Yeah my kids will be your harshest critics,” Jenny added, letting out a laugh. 

As soon as they stepped into the hallway they were attacked by Jenny’s twins - Lily and Sebastian.

“The kids like them,” Y/N turned at the sound of her mother’s voice and she smiled, nodding. Her mum place a mug of tea in her hands and settled herself on the sofa beside her.

Sebastian and Lily had taken a shine to Roger and Ben quickly. Ben was lying on his stomach playing trains with Sebastian and Roger was joining in, when his head wasn’t being yanked back by Lily who declared that she wanted to plait his hair for him. Her brother and sister-in-law’s baby (James) was sat on Roger’s lap and the drummer cradled James carefully to his chest, cooing down at the baby in the most adorable fashion.

“i didn’t realise how good with kids they were,” Y/N admitted with a shrug, blowing on her tea. “What about you, though?” She questioned, nibbling on her lip in nervousness. While her parents had appeared thrilled with Y/N’s boyfriends - and made them feel completely welcome and at home in Y/N’s childhood house - she was aware that their relationship wasn’t exactly conventional and desperately sought her parent’s approval.

“They make you happy,” her mum shrugged with a soft smile in her daughters direction. “That’s all that matters to us really,” Y/N turned and lay her head on her mother’s shoulder.

“They make me really happy,” she said in quiet agreement. Roger heard and turned towards her with a grin.

“I love you,” he mouthed. Y/N mouthed it back, her eyes crinkling at the edges.

“I think Ben won your dad over with all the rugby talk,” her mum joked and Ben looked over at the sound of his name, raising his eyebrows with a cheeky grin on his face.

“i said parent’s love me,” he joked and Roger scoffed.

“They love me more,” he argued, feigning an angry glare at Ben who rolled his eyes, leaning forwards to press a kiss to Roger’s lips.

“I think it’s time for the kids to go to bed,” Jenny said, coming into the room with Y/N’s sister-in-law Hannah and her husband Joe (Y/N’s sister). Hannah was quick to scoop the baby up from Roger’s arms and Jenny tilted her head at the twins, indicating for them to follow her. “Come on Seb, Lily,”

“I want Uncle Roger to tuck me in,” Lily whined, tugging on Roger’s hair. The drummer’s face was conflicted between a wince and a look of complete shock.

“Why can’t Uncle Ben do it?” Sebastian argued, glaring at his sister.

“Do you guys mind?” Jenny asked through a sigh, looking at Roger and Ben, both of whom were quick to nod their agreement, huge smiles blossoming on their faces as they each scooped up a twin, making the kids let out a squeal of delight. Ben swung Sebastian around so he was resting on his back and Sebastian let out a joyful laugh, winding his arms tightly around Ben’s neck.

“Where too, Princess Lily?” Roger asked, resting the young girl on his hip. Lily giggled in delight, ordering ‘Princess Roger’ to take her upstairs.

Jenny raised an eyebrow at her sister, her lips curling into a small grin as she followed the four of them.

“Did you hear that, Y/N?” Roger asked, bounding into their room and jumping on the bed next to his girlfriend who hugged him tightly. Ben flopped on top of the two of them, embracing them both into a tight hug.

“They called me Uncle Ben,��� he whispered, still disbelieving. Y/N ran her fingers through his short blond hair and Ben turned his face up to kiss the palm of her hand.

“Fuck I love you,” Y/N murmured and Roger placed a kiss on her cheek.

“We love you too,”

[bakubitch]

Request: may i get a headcanon/scenario(whichever you prefer!) of Izuku, todoroki, and bakugou finding out their s/o self harms and comforts them?? like a mix of fluff and angst? thank you, im so sorry if you don't write anything like this TwT

This is gonna be the Bakugou Katsuki one. It turned out longer than Midoriya’s god fucking damn it //clenches fist, im so bad at this. Not as angsty though. I hope this is alright and you will like it nonetheless.

Trigger warning: Self-harming „Hey, dont you think it's too hot to wear this kind of thing?“ Bakugou's voice sounded a little bit too harsh than he intended but had not one thought about taking those words back, even when his partner involuntarily flinched from his matter of factly statement. They were out eating at their favourite place at the end of August where summer will take it's last breath for the year – it was his suggestion because there wont be much time left until exams would have to come. And even though those days were the last of this season it was... horribly hot with the blazing sun shining over the city like it was trying to pick a god damn fight with it. The ashe-blonde himself only wore a black, relatively lose tanktop so that he could at least freshen up a little when a breeze would just fucking greet them for once – to his dismay the weather decided to give a shit about his well-being, of course it did not, what the heck did he expect anyways. Crimson eyes were skeptically scrutinizing the figure seated in front of him, not liking at all how blushy and sweaty his lover was under that... huge sweater that they had decided to wear today. Didnt seem really healthy at all. Swearing that something was definitely off, he obviously did not hesitate the slightest to prod at the topic and of course in his kind of manner yet he didnt anticipated the already mentioned reaction. „I'm lil bit cold is all.“ His lover wouldnt meet his gaze which caused him to make a low displeased sound – what was wrong with them and why didnt they talk to him about it? There was 100% something weighing them down just by looking at their current body language and anxiety crossing their features and the male did not want to look over this casually, he has to know, especially because he cares. And this plain, stupid response didnt give him satisfaction, not in the least. Bakugou already had a clue so as he was slowly losing patience, his foot was tapping against the hard concrete ground in a firm rhythm: „Are you shitting me? You're sweating buckets as far as I can tell.“ They were sending him an offended glance, he just rolled his eyes in return, aware of his statement being kind of rude and dickish right now but honestly? He had all right to be. „Katsuki, Im fine okay? I just feel more comfy this way today.“, they sighed, wrapping their fingers around the cool glass of KiBa, staring thoughfully at the weird mixture of two different colors – magenta and a pale yellow. Actually that answer sounded way more reasonable than the one before but somehow his mind refused to let go of the topic, circling around the fact that they were trying to hide something. Sorry, but not sorry – he wasnt the super patient boyfriend anyways like who knows Todoroki fucking Shouto or that violethaired poop of Class 1-B. Instead his hand gently grabbed their arm to pull them towards him over the table, just intending to say something when... His partner winced at the touch, his brows furrowing in distress by their reaction. The next thing that happened was fully out of instinct, his free palm was grabbing the soft fabrice of that darkblue sweater – ignoring the plead of his s/o to stop and pulled up the sleeve. „What.. the..“ There were so many fresh wounds – slits, burn marks scattered all over their skin. All his eyes could do was widen at the horrific sight and all he himself could do was just... keep looking at it with a mouth agape, not even blinking once. Was this... real? Bakugou was beyond speechless, feeling different, mixed up, twisted emotions rising within his heart.. The recognizeable anger sticking clearly out of the mess. Though he did not know who he was aiming the anger at – who was his target for his emotions? Confusion, irritation, guilt... resentment. This was happening too fast. Too sudden and when he was finally able to get a grip to look away from the damaged areas of their body, a wave of self-resentment suddenly washed over him. Bakugou Katsuki and self-resentment? An odd combination indeed but for once he had no control over it when he witnessed how his love's eyes were reflecting fear, bitterness and self-loath. 'No, please don't..', never would he ever mouth out those words and neither would he be able to apologize for what he had just done – not coping well with mistakes from his side. Of course the boy felt kind of … off about this whole scenario – not having so much experience in those fields but what was even worse was... That he had accidently forced them to show him this in some kind of way – having overstepped their boundaries, their pace. It was like he had just stomped on their feelings and their well-being ruthlessly. „Fuck-“, a curse escaped his lightly chapped lips, pushing the table that was between them to the side with ease - too fast for anybody else to react - before he forcefully pulled his lover's body towards his'. Not giving a shit what others might be thinking, he eased their sleeve back and heaved an almost shaky sigh. „A.. Are you gonna leave me?“, there was a weak tremor audible in their voice, words being muffled by Bakugou literally forcing them to bury their face into his chest – again he gave no fucks. And what was that kind of a question anyways: „Hell fucking no I'm gonna leave you.“ The blonde tried to gather his thoughts, actually attempting really, really hard to find the right words but he was so bad with them, god damn it! „We... can overcome this together, you shit. You're not gonna be alone with this – Ever !“, it was like he was hissing: „Because I'm with you.“ And he will darn fucking be.

Admin Shiro

[jaytodd1129]

Musings on the whole Brian May IG apocalypse of 2019 (aka: I’m Getting Way Too Fucking Old For This Shit. Literally.)

I’ve been debating on whether I should even say anything about this. I’ve been debating it for quite a while now. But since everyone seems to have their own opinion on the matter and to be sharing it quite freely, I finally figured hell!  why shouldn’t I?

So I read the initial comment that sparked this entire thing. I read Brian’s reply. Then I read Brian’s reply to his own reply. And then, finally, the post where he announces he will become less active on his IG account from now on (To say I read the heaps and heaps of hate messages on his comment section goes without saying).

So without further ado, here are my two cents on the matter. Let’s start this shindig!

I first came across this entire situation at around 2am when I was unable to sleep and I opened tumblr to see posts about how “Brian May was now cancelled”. My immediate reaction was “Oh no. WHAT DID HE DO??”. As I kept scrolling down and seeing more and more posts about it, I felt my heart sinking. Brian May? Justifying rape? Defending sexual assault? Taking a rapists’ side?? What the hell?? The more I read, the bleaker the view for one of my favorite rockstars of all time became, so I decided to confront the situation head on, and read the damn comment with my own two eyes.

I mean... it must’ve truly been a horrible comment to spark such a reaction.

Riiiiiiiiiiiight?

Wrong. What I came across was a mildly annoyed comment from a dude-- at its core-- being peeved at being told what to do. That was it. Add in a remark about “innocent until proven guilty” and we have our so very infamous comment.

The last part seems to be the thing that has riled people up the most. But you know what? I’m gonna get this out of the way now before I proceed with anything else: it’s true!! Is this really news?? It’s what american and many other countries’ judicial systems are founded on! If “innocent until proven guilty” WASN’T true, I could go to work tomorrow and accuse my boss of raping me and have him arrested by noon. For fuck’s sake, HE could accuse me of raping HIM and have ME arrested by noon! Anyone could accuse anybody of doing anything, and it would immediatly be held as truth, and we’d all be in jail right now.

Presumption of innocence isn’t the problem with the way that rape and assault victims are treated in court. With the way that offenders get to serve meager sentences for actions that forever cripple the minds--and sometimes even---bodies of survivors. The problem is that the people in charge of delegating these punishments don’t seem to understand the true impact that rape and abuse have on victims. They seem to hold it in the same light as mugging or aggravated assault which is ludicrous and an insult to such survivors. This is what we need to work on changing! THIS! Not a principle that has kept order in society and protected us all for as long as there has been a thing called law.

That aside. I think we’re all guilty of intolerance towards people that have an opinion that even SLIGHTLY differs from our own. It’s like we’ve become allergic to listening and asking ourselves “why would this person think this way? what could be this person’s point of view?”. Nowadays, we meet everyone who seems to contradict us with an attack and we assume the worst behind the reason they do it. I think that if people had actually stopped to think about what Brian May meant with what he was saying, no one would’ve had such a violent response. Because I fail to see how anybody that gave his comment 2 second’s thought could ever interpret is as meaning “Rape is good. I’m siding with a rapist”. They would’ve realized that he was reacting mostly to the way that he was being talked to... which is my next point.

I don’t think that the girl who made the first comment was wrong necessarily. That is not the point I’m trying to make here. But don’t you think you go a long way from saying “Do this. Thanks.” to treating someone like a reasonable human being and kindly laying out your point of view?  Wouldn't we all react better to someone trying to gently shed light on a certain matter, than someone ordering us to do something? I know I would. Seriously. I HATE it when someone (that isn't my boss) tries to order me to do something, and I can tell you right now, I probably would've had a very similar reaction to the one he had.

Lastly, I don’t know about Bryan Singer. I don’t know what he did or didn’t do. If he did what he’s being accused of, I hope he rots in a jail-cell for the rest of his life. I don’t care how wonderful The Usual Suspects is, I don’t care that he’s the father of most of my beloved X-Men movies. Being good at your job shouldn’t give you a free pass in the eyes of the law to do whatever the fuck you want. You’re still just a human being like the rest of us and should be held accountable for all and any crimes committed. 

But everyone is an individual and we are as such allowed to form our own opinions and reason through things without immediatly going along with what the vast majority is saying. Brian May questioning things isn't wrong. It's just proof that he is a thinking man. And I think we should all strive to be thinking people and not punish others for questioning things. It’s by questioning things that we get to the truth. 

[strawberryspeachy]

First time ive thought about this in a while... cause it was so small and yet... again i think why

My senior year of high school there was a cute ‘delinquent’ boy in my class

Now to this point id only liked two boys. One in middle school who i never talked to and one in high school who publicallh humiliated me whenever he was in a bad mood because he found me disgusting

I couldnt flirt. I wasnt attractive. I wasnt popular. I wasnt super smart. I had nothing going for me and mostly people ignored me.

But this boy sat in front of me and we started talking and it was fun, we had the same sense of humor and it was the first time i ever got to have actual conversations with an attractive guy who liked talking to me

It was senior year and he was literally failing school and did drugs. I wasnt interested in more than having fun conversations during class

But people.. in my class... no one talked to him before. Thats why it was easy for us to talk - if people has other choices they never chose me.

But after a few days of us working together and having fun conversations... BOYS. fucking boys!! In class started asking him to go work with them. Specifically two dudes who were kinda in my general friend group - not my friends but like - that group of people at school that all your friends are familiar with and will talk to even if youre not actually friends.

Yeah. Those kind of boys. They made a point to consistently have him go work with them and sit at a different table or something so that i couldnt talk to him.

Theyd smirk at me and laugh about it on days he skipped class

And other random dudes in class would do it too

And it wasnt like an open invitation. There was never a sense that they hoped id go work with them too because they asked the boy i talked to to work with them. They just didnt want him to talk to me

And the two boys in my friend group made a bit deal about it to everyone else we talked to

And then everyone started asking me why. Do you like him? Do you wanna date him? Do you hang out outside school? You think hes cute? Why do you like him? Dont date him! Ive heard bad things about him! Hell ruin you!

And i made a point in always being “chill” like lol im never offended by things people say! Its all a silly joke and idc!

So i kept assuring everyone i didnt like him that way and i just liked talking to him in class. Even laughing at the guys pulling him away like it was a fun game

And id never experienced anything close before. I didnt know what to do or how to react. I didnt even have a concrete want. I just really enjoyed getting attention from a cute boy.

But.... no one else wants that for me....

Id never even heard this boys name before, now everyone had a strong opinion on him.

No on talked to him in my class before they saw us laughing together. And it was a loud class everyone was joking with their friends. We werent loud or anything, but everyone in class was always staring at us when we were joking around

My why. Is for me. Why does it honestly honestly seem like everyone around me hates to see me enjoy anything

Like my roommate who literally complained that a cute boy was into me while she had a bf she was apparently in love with.

Anytime good things happen for me. Anytime cool people take interest in me. People who dont give a fuck about me suddenly really dont think im deserving

Conversely. Anytime some fucking ugly dude. Or asshole. Or awful thing happens to me - everyone says

Take one for the team! Itd make him happy

You should give him a chance! He has money!

Look on the bright side! You can make anything work in your favor if you think positively

But let me tell the same people anything good and suddenly their optimistic face turn to concern

Are you sure? Youre not missing something?

Be careful! That doesnt sound right

Anything to put doubt in my mind

And these arent really the same people. Its just i seem to meet and end up talking to the same kinds of people over and over. No matter how i try to switch it up

But the general consensus amoung humans towards me seems to be

That i am ugly, annoying, stupid, and untrustworthy. Anything good i do is for the wrong reasons which makes me a horrible person and also im just a horrible person and i deserve the worst in life. Im not deserving of good things and im a lazy bitch. Also im a miserable fuck and if im not being miserable im being fake which is just as bad as being miserable and im always trying to use them for something

I have never successfully used anyone for anything.

Ive tried in recent years. A couple times. Out of spite over tried. But i cant.

Literally people in college told me that my giving them something or doing them favors was cause i wanted something from them. Bro i barely see you and you never wanna do the things i wanna do. You talk to to me and i convinced myself everyone who talked with me cared about me as a human so i just wanna be nice to my “friends” but i mean when it turned out they were all using me... i guess it was that projection thing

Whatever. I havent thought about cj since that year in high school and it just popped up in my head as i wondered why everyone wants to see me crash and burn

[jess-oh]

Reflection

i just hardcore vented to emily and im usually pretty weary and careful of bringing up my relationship with God and the church to her bc i know she isnt religious but i was just so furious and on a role that i didnt really care

but yeah JKBHFDLKNF,AMDFJKSHL

im just so frickin MAD

first, i was mad with andrew and sofia bc they dont see the point in giving bobby(sofia’s ex) closure and theres nothing that i can say to change their mind but i cant believe how unbelievably selfish theyre being in not letting him know that the reason sofia and he broke up was not because of anything that he did wrong but bc she had her own personal things to deal with and their argument is why should they open up an old wound and just bring back the hurt? and theyre assuming hes moved on bc hes dated other people since sofia but doesnt mean it doesnt bother him and that hes gotten over it. and andrew kept rushing to sofia’s aid and saying why should she have to tell him if she doesnt want to and that mindset is just so selfish. it’s not about you. it’s not just about how you feel or what you want to do. this is about him and what you did to hurt him, whether or not it was intentional. and i think it’s valid to still address the problem and get it over with and leave it behind. time means nothing. you can spend your whole life wondering what you did wrong bc you never got closure. and im just so frustrated bc i know that no matter what i say, they wont change their minds and see that theyre wrong.

and with p josh, i was walking home with angela today and i realized that he has so many flaws but his heart is too offendable and always takes criticism really poorly which is a big issue and im the most frustrated bc his whole thing is serving others and being like Jesus and the disciples but he plays the power card all too frequently and it doesnt feel like hes actually trying to serve us. and he cant be so ambitious with his vision and goals and expect everyone else to play along. we have our own things to deal with and just because he can do something doesnt mean everyone else can be expected to follow at the same level. they might not be used to it and everyone reacts to things differently. just bc jason is a great server doesnt mean i will be. i freaking suck at being a server and i could never do it. i dont do well in stressful, spontaneous situations. but i am good at planning long term events but that doesnt mean he can. 

i think more importantly, we’re getting away from the vision. a church is a hospital for the broken and not a place to put saints on display. and i think we’ve started to become too into our own vision instead of God’s vision and we need to get back to basics and build up from there. we are being too ambitious with everything right now and there is a lot of transition happening and p josh cannot expect us to keep up with him when we have our own things in our lives to deal with. i am still so impacted by that one line from “Kuya Derek” that said, “I am a Christian but I am more defined by Jesus than I am by the doctrine.” God is love. Everything that the Ecclessia is is rooted in love. And by saying, “if you feel uncomfortable or have a problem with something, you can leave.” P Josh words things really poorly a lot and I dont think we should attack him with all of his flaws at once on Sunday. This is an ongoing process and he’s only human and we cant expect him to immediately change. But I do really think we need to address his offendable heart and his power cards. How can he preach about wanting to make MAST something where students are serving others when he cant even do that for us? He’s being open about his issues and I respect that but he is still so blind. I almost feel like he’s telling us part of his struggles and flaws and just turning a blind eye to the real issues at hand in an effort to make himself look better. and now that i type that, i dont believe it to be true. but he HAS to be aware of these things. how can he hope that anyone will follow him when hes being such a hypocrite? And this is definitely something that I need to calm down about and pray about but asdfghjkl;

i definitely want to make a list and have it ready to address during our meeting on sunday.

also, i feel like angela has disliked me as a person for a while so i am really glad we’re getting along so well now but i also dont want our friendship to be rooted in hate. i dont want to just bond with her bc we gossip about other people. i want to really be her friend but i do think bc we’re both so straightforward and blunt, we have the potential to become really close. 

and i should address this in the future but i didnt today but she talked about how shes really passionate about the LGBTQ+ community today but the church finds that a really taboo topic to address and she doesnt want it to be like that but shes made fun of the politically correct culture at Columbia on more than a handful of occassions and that actually really turned me off and discouraged to bring up the topic in the past.

and another thing for p josh, i know that he wants lakeview to be a more multicultural place again and i wasnt there for that and i just feel like hes so in love with how things used to be but he needs to recognize that this isnt the past. this is now. we can try to be a more multicultural place again and think about what we can do now but he cant expect it to be like how it once was bc it will never be the same again. it will change and it will be different. 

im also surprised he didnt tell angela about when i called him out on his decision making bc that was lowkey one of my fears that he vented to jason and angela so im surprised she was surprised about it.

but yeah, im gonna finish watching new girl, shower, pack a little, and start to pray about this.

im sad today was the last life group but im also glad i got to pray for everyone bc i really wanted to. and today was actually so nice and felt so comfortable. we’re usually so tense and awkward but today was so much fun and i feel like everyone felt like they were free to be themselves and i really really enjoyed it. i just wish we couldve had this time sooner on. 

im starting to calm down and just imagine different scenarios and what i would say to him and how he would react.

i think the transition with the life groups and people leaving is a blessing in disguise. i think it’s been easy to get caught up in the details and logistics but we are now so far from the vision of it all. we’ve gotten so caught up with planning and thinking about how to benefit the most people that we have strayed so far away from what it means to love. to accept, and care, and invest, and love. and that’s what the church should be rooted in. out with the racism and cultural biases. what do we have if God is not at the center of it all. we shouldnt be thinking about how to benefit the most people. we should be thinking about how to save that one lost sheep. 

and i will not leave lakeview. i refuse. God called me here for a reason and I intend to carry out His Will. and to combat Rachel’s argument of if you dont feel comfortable being around other Koreans, then you should leave, to that i say this—

we are the church and should be appealing to EVERYONE. regardless of their race. and dont get me wrong, i totally see the appeal in having a predominantly Korean American church. I grew up in a white dominated neighborhood and was never really around Korean culture. my parents never spoke korean to me. there were always barely any Asians at my school. The cousins near my age lived on the other side of the country and my cousins that lived in California are wayyyy older than me and i didnt start talking to them until Robbin passed away. And I am still so hurt and saddened by him bc i still do not fully understand why God had to take him away from this Earth. And I know that so much good has come from it but it still hurts and pains me so much to this day but I am choosing to trust in God’s reasoning and plan and will and just trust that there was a reason why he took Robbin from this Earth. So yes, I see the appeal. But we really should not be preaching to each other and other Koreans. We should be preaching to ANYONE that can hear the Word.

[jess-oh]

Reflection Part 2

okay real quick,

i just got really heated in my head bc a while ago, we had a meeting to debrief among the planning committee and a lot of people agreed that it wasn’t a great idea for eunice to have come to the lock-in and i didnt realize the weight of the situation at the time bc i was just a lot more focused on her coming and getting to spend time with God and I think Sean felt the most passionate about this. and he’s a northwestern kid so im sure what he knew about the whole thing was a lot heavier than what the rest of us knew but i was pretty upset in the moment, though i was afraid and didnt say anything but i do think he was pretty condescending and he expected eunice to come forward a lot sooner than she did and didnt even believe she should have come to the retreat at all and thankfully, p josh defended her but i was kinda angry, tbh. bc he was seeing it from a logical standpoint in how it affected the most people instead of seeing it in a way of love and seeing how much pain she was in and how much suffering she was in. and yes, she made a mistake and should expect consequences but at the same time, this wasnt an easy process for her and we dont fully understand the weight of the situation on her end or why she did the things she did but regardless, she wasnt completely honest and did lie and maybe he was just personally hurt or, idk. but i think ultimately, we should be striving to be Christlike and in doing that, that means showing her grace and mercy and love and leaving the 99 for the 1 and that’s what she was. the 1. and we should’ve been totally on board for that so i dont understand why they thought otherwise.

but i just got heated bc i imagined having this conversation with MAST. btw, im pretty sure i feel so passionately about this bc that could very well be me. I’ve been the 1 or the outsider so many times and it sucks and bc i know how that feels, i feel even more of a responsibility to do what i can to make sure no one else feels like that. she is also pretty popular so it could’ve been a place of jealousy? maybe? but anyway, i was thinking about MAST and what would happen if they reacted in a similar way to another situation like this and i just immediately called them out and i talked about how we aren’t here to lead, we are literally here to SERVE. and SERVING doesn’t always mean favoring the greatest number of people. SERVING means to give what you can to those who NEED it and they need it. so why was it even a question on what we should be doing? we should be helping that one person. regardless of what they’ve done, we should approach the situation from a place of love and forgiveness. 

honestly, and i hope i have the opportunity to talk about this one day soon, but i would love to bring a bunch of people from my life to the church so that they have a community and place to freely pursue their relationship with God but i dont want to bc a lot of people are really judgmental and i understand that we grew up sheltered but if i brought someone that drank, and smoked, and had sex regularly, would we really be able to truly love them? or would those things impact our perception of them and as a result, we see them as less of a human and not as worthy of love. bc they arent pretty or skinny or fit this perfect mold that we’ve grown up to believe in bc of this incredibly sheltered environment. can we really look past their unique sins and love them anyway? bc i feel like for most people, they cant. they’d always see them as dirty and sinful and a mistake instead of as just another one of their brothers or sisters. and that’s really disheartening. and actually, i remember p william talking to rachel shortly before the lock-in about this guy that was a little too friendly with her who had previously talked to angela and p william said that he talked to him before and asked him to back off basically and i was a little offended bc while i dont know him and maybe he is too friendly, this is a church, and we should be open and accepting of EVERYONE. we shouldnt ask any one person to leave just because they’re too friendly or creepy? Yes, it might make Angela or Rachel feel uneasy but we shouldnt turn him away! we can tell him that hes been too forward and then he can learn to back off but we shouldnt kick him out of God’s house because of that! SIGH.

but anyway, 

i didnt expect to get this heated but i did anyway and i know that there was some more that i wanted to write about but i cant remember anymore.

oh, no. I do remember!

I wish I was more loyal. Because there have definitely been times where I was in a group of people and they were just bashing on one of my friends and I failed to stand up for them and chose to stay silent instead. And this is a big thing that I was thinking about when I wrote the above paragraphs. Yes, I could be biased because I talk to Eunice fairly often but that shouldn’t change anything. The fact that I actually know her only strengthens my case bc I see her as a person and not just a variable. But yeah, there have been times when I stayed silent when I should have stood up and said something but I didn’t and something that I was thinking about while I was talking to MAST in my head was how I didn’t care anymore. I signed up to be persecuted and whether that’s at school or at church, it didn’t matter. Persecution is all the same to me. And maybe people don’t agree with my ideals and maybe I will get kicked out but I will not stand down or apologize for my beliefs bc Lakeview is truly a place that values who you present to be versus what you’re actually going through, then that’s not a place that I want to stay at. And I do really love the people at Earl’s church and maybe I’ll just go there instead and build a community there but I will not stand to be silenced and bite my tongue when there is such clear injustice within the house of God. And yeah, I wish I had been more loyal and I do hope that I can make this a goal and grow to be someone that is a lot more bold and has a lot more faith in people and is just so willing to immediately stand up and fight for them. It’s easy to talk smack about someone w/o their knowledge and the consequences but doesn’t it just make you feel so slimy and disgusting and what’s the benefit in that? You’re just putting someone else down to make yourself feel better and that’s literally bullying and it doesn’t matter that you aren’t saying it to their face bc you’re still saying it anyway.