#he didnt kill that man but somewhere in his funny little brain he still believes he did

[did-sm1-say-catfish]

Hodgins: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done?

Zack: *sighs*

Zack: I killed a man.

[mousehole5000]

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng  back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.”  CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well.  okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

[spacefaegoddess]

The Lightning Thief - Cut Tracks

Listen up.

Camp Half Blood

- okay let me preface this by saying that for some reason this song won’t download so I’m going off the itunes preview

- but wow this song screams Camp Half Blood

- starts with something about how you know you’re at camp if there’s fire or a flood like big mood guys

- “Camp Half-Blood, where only half of us survive! Camp Half-Blood, be glad you’re still alive!” GUYS THIS IS TOO REAL

- it reminds me of that one post comparing CHB and CJ like “yeah you can go to college and live in New Rome at Camp Jupiter so its pretty nice” “WELCOME TO CAMP HALF BLOOD, YOULL DIE WITHIN THE MONTH”

- “this is why no one watches the orientation film” Mr. D never change please, also if that’s a new kid’s orientation to CHB then maybe Mr. D is saving them from intense trauma

Pick a Side 

- I think there was a video of this somewhere, maybe from that live concert where they performed all the song from the show, but man I’m so happy they put this into a final form

- Luke: “we don’t know who stole the bolt” oh sweet baby liar

- Clarisse being ready to fight everyone is fantastic

- “Percy couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag” man I love it when they put book references in there, and even though I’m pretty sure Reyna says it I still love that it’s Clarisse’s line

-”Can’t we just pick flowers and make friendship bracelets” oh Silena no

- Silena: “My mom doesn’t believe in war” Clarisse: “oh yeah? then why does she keep texting my dad?” Luke: “WHOA” this is the content I signed up for

- Luke saying that he hopes Percy completes his quest so that the demigods don’t have to fight a war like.... idk how to feel about this. Is he lying? Does he actually hope that his friends won’t have to fight? Man

- Also Luke telling Silena that they don’t have to fight the gods’ battles like that’s Luke’s entire motivation in one line

- Clarisse and Silena belting “we gotta know just where your loyalties lie” while Luke sings “we don’t have to choose”. I know that the girls are singing it at each other but the fact that Luke is between them and he’s the one who isn’t loyal to the gods or to camp is magnificent. And again Luke saying they don’t have to choose the gods because he’s already chosen against them

- “prissy Percy’s gonna lost his Poseidon adventure!” CLARISSE GIRL

- “well whoever says love is worthless, I’ll pulverize them!” wow Clarisse is already rubbing off on Silena

-I want to know what Luke sings after “It’s their fight” while Clarisse and Silena sing “We’ll make our parents proud, make our voices loud” cause this is a really great moment for Luke’s motives to shine through

- Luke silently singing “I would never help my father” in the background

- All three singing “We’ve got a choice to make, can’t run and hide - you better pick a side” at the same time yet it means something different for all of them. Also it’s Luke finally choosing his side cause I think that’s the first time he sings “pick a side” in the song

- And that harmony at the end? DAM

Try

- okay so like way before the musical was even a thing, there was a video of this song being sung by three people who aren’t in the show, but god it was heartrenching. It’s a little different from the finished product but like Pick a Side, I’m so glad they included this song because it’s so powerful

- the song beginning and ending the same way UGH I LOVE CALLBACKS

- Percy and Annabeth both singing “I already know it, I’ll probably blow it, but I’m going there anyway” THESE KIDS ARE SO STRONG

- this song is so great because as a whole, the musical is kinda upbeat and generally happy except for like Tree on the Hill and kinda Good Kid, but this one shows the main three’s insecurities about the whole adventure. It throws your mind in a whole different direction

- “I may fail you, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t try” I mean come on

- They’re kids. They’re lost and scared and don’t really know what they’re doing, yet they keep pressing on because of each other. They feel like they will fail, but they can all look each other in the eye and say “you know what? at least we have each other and that’s worth it enough for me”

- that small part in the beginning with Percy and Annabeth singing together makes me want a Percabeth duet so bad

- Grover singing “wash my hands of past mistakes” this boy just wants to prove himself so much and Tree on the Hill give me so many feels and just UGH GROVER I LOVE YOU

- Annabeth going from “prove to the gods that I belong” to “I won’t be rejected” is freaking GROWTH

- “He must be protected” GROVER PLEASE

- That three part harmony tho

- “Fight til we’re all in the clear, look my fear in the eye!” do I need to repeat that these kids are so amazingly strong? Because they are

- “The weight of the world’s on my shoulders, like Atlas it’s crushing me down” sick Greek mythology reference bro

- Also during that live concert video I mentioned earlier, they play a cut Annabeth song (which is sadly not here) but it had the Atlas motif too and ugh it gives me all the feels

- okay so the line “we’re not brave, we’re not strong, we’re not soldiers” is a whole thing in itself but it goes so well with the next line

- I wish they had kept the next line the same as the original because it was “but my heart is a drum, and damn does it pound” but now its “my heart’s just a drum and damn does it pound”. I feel like the first one just has something more. Like I might not be brave or strong but I have the heart to get through this

- also in that original video, after the previous thing, Percy sings “I may fail you, I may fail you. If I fail, this will be our last goodbye.” WHY DIDNT THEY KEEP THAT

- “I’m not leaving your side til we find what matters” Annabeth MY GIRL

- “I’m not leaving your side til we’re back home” GROVER

- “I’m not leaving your side til you’re remembered” PERCABETH SHIPPERS HOW WE FEELING TONIGHT

- This trio man. Nothing will ever compare to them

- The fact that the lyrics change from “I may fail you” to “I can’t fail you”

- That last line where they all sing part of the number because they’re in this together now and you literally cannot separate them

- this song is the best and you can fight me on that

In the Same Boat

- or as I like to call it “Grover deals with Percabeth fighting like second graders for five minutes and forty nine seconds”

- this entire song is just a roast fest and Grover suffering

- “wow maybe your mom should’ve totally chilled instead of making monsters that get us all killed” Percy you savage

- Grover’s happy little “ask meeee” he’s so cute

- “I’d like to wrap my hands around that half-blood’s throat” wow guys

- “I don’t need to heed a talking goat” WOW GUYS

- Grover’s goat noises throughout the song

- “why run from monsters when we can rideeee” Grover baby I love you

- the lyrics change depending on what vehicle they’re in

- “with Anna-BLEH” “and Seaweed Brain” guys just kiss already

- Annabeth insulting Percy about his Rocky Mountains comment and Grover just going “wow that is soooo beautiful” 

- this song is just the original “Drive” and I’m not complaining

- Percy and Grover both yelling “SWEET” while Annabeth suffers

- Percy telling Annabeth she can hike instead of ride the motorcycle

- Percy’s sass when he says “oh, I’m sure that’s irrelevant” gods Chris McCarrell is the Percy we always wanted

- “Athena give me strength so I don’t kill him” Annabeth honey, if anything your mom is gonna strike him down for you

- ANNABETH HAVING HER OWN “DREAM”

- “it’s messed up, but he’s kinda cute” Annabeth you have no idea how relatable you truly are

- “And my head is always stronger than my heart” awwwwwww

- “If only he would say something that was remotely smart” when I tell you I cackled for like five mintues its the truth

- Followed immediately by Percy saying “I got it! The map was upside down” and Annabeth just screaming IS A WHOLE BIG MOOD

- When did Charon turn from a disco diva into a 60 year old smoker

- Annabeth calling Percy sexist like yeah girl call him out

- “They’ll kill each other, or they’ll kiss” likely both, Grover

- “If we’re lucky they’ll end up in an abyss” GROVER NO

- that Mark of Athena reference caught me so off guard, my jaw hit the floor

- Grover happily singing over a Percabeth shouting match

- also I wish I could clearly hear what those two are saying

- idk what’s so funny about Percy saying “perspective” in a awe-filled voice but it killed me

- Grover yelling at them to sing the song because reconciliation

- uhhh Jorrel’s voice??? he makes such a great Grover let me tell you

The Wittlest Minotaur

- this was also in that concert they did

- Kristin Stokes is a gift to this world, that is all

[thegeminisage]

merlin thots about the s5 opening episodes.......

here’s your courtesy cut

one of my favorite things about s5 so far is how very nicely arthur and merlin have both 1. grown up and 2. grown into each other...they still give each other shit 24/7 but it’s a lot more companionable and comfortable now than it ever has been. furthermore, both of them exhibit the use of MULTIPLE braincells even at the SAME TIME. they work very well together as a team even in the heat of battle (we did see shades of this near the end of s4), despite merlin being kind of useless at physical combat when he couldn’t rely on his magic for a boost. they can have entire conversations without a word and they’re just INCREDIBLY synchronized. the whole #vibe has really gotten a level up

timeline-wise, it’s been roughly a decade since season 1. in s1 they said the purge began 20 years ago (upon arthur’s birth), and shortly after, he had a coming of age ceremony - 21′s an important number, so in season 1 arthur began as being 20 and turned 21 before the end. season 2 = 22. gap year for s2-s3 = 23. season 3 = 24. s3-s4 gap year = 25. season 4 = 26. 3 gap years betweeen s4-s5 = 27, 28, 29. season 5 = 30. i don’t know how long it was in real life between seasons 4 and 5 (definitely not three years), but i really do feel like they’ve both aged SO much and they absolutely act like people who have known each other for a decade.

gwen as queen is AMAZINGNGLSDKJGHDSLFG she’s SO PRETTY i love her SO MUCH. love that she has her own serving girl now! this is what she deserves

the round table is good too altho it looks a bit too big for that room. it’s amazing though like...FUCK uther pendragon arthur has come SO FAR

merlin being nice to the new girl is very charming. makes him seem older and w-w-WISER (love that word) by comparison

also love that merlin gets to ride a horse while some of the footsoldiers walk. that’s #status. that’s *** ******

pretty sure i had a stroke during merlin’s vision of arthur’s death. the whole thing was done SO well - they go from the battlefield and arthur’s incredibly dirty face as he very realistically looks like he’s falling down and dying and then cut to a very alive and present arthur asking what’s wrong. you can really FEEL the whiplash, and also the dread settles in nice and deep, at least it does if you’re me and you’ve read spoilers, like, “only you can keep arthur safe” BUT I KNOW HE DOESN’T I KNOW HE CAN’T I KNOW HE FAILS and merlin might as well know it too because he looks ready to CRY and thru the rest of this 2-parter opening he acts like he thinks arthur may drop dead at any moment

i feel like i read somewhere once that actors don’t like to eat during a scene unless absolutely necessary because when you do 30 takes of something you get very full very quickly and some even go so far as to have a spit bucket just out of sight so that they can just get rid of it without having to eat any more. which makes it absolutely bananas to me that so often in merlin the characters are not only eating but eating very quickly as though they really have been roughing it in the wilderness all day & are absolutely famished...they don’t have to show them eating so often BUT THEY DO

arthur getting merlin into a tight spot by insisting he perform, planning on laughing at his failure? funny. merlin ACTUALLY USING MAGIC TO TEACH HIMSELF TO JUGGLE so that he could watch arthur’s jaw hit the floor? PRICELESS. i wonder how long it took him to do that, he definitely wasn’t using a body double

merlin is acting so bleak and dire in these episodes that even mr no-empathy himself asks him whats wrong, multiple times. they’re doing a VERY good job at really driving home the fact that arthur’s time is running short and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. merlin’s so sick with dread he’s making ME sick with dread. arthur’s here and being his normal dumbass self but the distance between them feels HUGE during the moments merlin is thinking about arthur’s impending doom

arthur all “i cant believe u can juggle i didnt even know you could catch” and then throwing the boots at merlin only for merlin to NOT CATCH THEM and arthur goes “see explain that” and merlin goes “wish i could” and i D I E 

because he’s KNOWN HIM FOR A DECADE and he still can’t explain the magic and at this point it must feel like to him that he never, ever will UUUUUGH it’s funny how they can feel so close to each other one second and like THIS the next i am DYING

the little conversation they have when they make camp the next night is the same. the sad music plays, merlin keeps looking at arthur like it might be the last time he sees him, and arthur keeps insisting on asking merlin what’s wrong and trying to make him feel better...they’re really for real friends!!! they’re so serious and grown up!!!!!

ive lost count of how many times either merlin or arthur has been nearly dead and had to get hauled around by the other one

also of how many times merlin used his magic in a way that should have been obvious to bystanders and wasn’t

“if morgana doesnt kill you i will" “threatening a king is treason merlin” “what about threatening an ASS” listen. look me in the eyes. this is TOP TIER banter

remember how in the early seasons they’d bend over backwards to leave plausible deniability when expressing affection? like “we’d be good friends if you weren’t a prince” or “you’re not wise or anything but yeah you’re wise” or whatever dumb toxic masculinity bullshit...those days are OVER with. merlin speaks DIRECTLY from the heart. “i’m worried about you” and “i swear i’ll protect you or die at your side” he is not fucking around even a little bit. this fool is in love

they were ALMOST cuddling when they slept together under that overhang

the two of them trapped in that net was PRICELESS. in the early seasons i got a little tired of the frequent slapstick/juvenile humor and wished the series was a bit more serious but now that they’re here i cling to every shred of levity with my whole heart

i was SO relieved to realize gwen wasn’t actually planning on killing that poor girl - i kept saying the entire time it was very out of character for her, no way could she be that cruel

arthur: “you wanna kill me fine but my last request is for you not to kill merlin” merlin: “you wanna kill arthur fine but you’re gonna have to go through me” arthur: “for fucks sake”

merlin: i never do as i’m told! that’s *** ******

i dont care if mordred DID save their lives i NEVER wanted to see him less i am so full of dread

i can’t BELIEVE morgana also has a pet dragon. she and merlin could have been the BEST foils and i’m STAYING mad about it. she was actually so good in this episode - way less full of evil smirks - that i briefly rejoined the morgana defense squad and got REAL pissed when mordred eventually shanked her, ESPECIALLY after she was so happy she was nearly crying to see him again. WHAT IS IT WITH THAT KID AND STABBING PEOPLE KNOCK IT OFF

the snowy environments in this episode were soooo good. the scenery was just...top fucking tier and it’s nice to see them somewhere other than the same old places. also like NO allo but arthur looks really nice just wandering around through a bunch of fucking snowbanks with dirt all over his face

arthur and merlin’s little ploy to steal that dagger by arthur faking a collapse was SO GOOD. they’re SO IN SYNC. i was THRILLED. better still: he winked when he was done. he used like FIVE WHOLE BRAIN CELLS AT ONCE and he was ALMOST as proud of himself as i am proud of him. what a guy, that arthur pendragon

their escape was really good too. the nonverbal communication? top tier! they just give each other little looks and then proceed to wreck the whole scene. doubly funny when the slaver is like WHO SPILLED THAT STUFF and arthur just kind of jerks his head over at merlin. snitches get stitches, YOUR HIGHNESS

i barely felt one whole emotion for sefa or her dad but him dying was like. sad. this show is sad. why the fuck am i watching it. i hate character death. they were hugging

arthur seemed like he was having just the time of his LIFE sneaking into that big ol tower of doom. dude was all cute little quips and smiles. popped his head outta that lil minecart like a kid at christmas

i love also that you give percival nothing but a single sword and in short order he goes about liberating all the slaves, killing all the slavers, and then reappropriating their swords to a better cause. he’s a one-man army. i was SO impressed. and he really looked like he was having fun too

merlin seeing that lil baby dragon again was SO fucked up and sad. why can’t it TALK :(((

also lmao “merlin you cant be that stupid” “no i am if you dont believe me watch” and merlin bolts and arthur sighs with SO much longsuffering and says “im going after him”

the light in morgana’s eyes when she talks about wanting to have arthur’s head and then her stabbing him over and over without actually killing him...she’s batshit insane. rip

i do like that arthur sort of TRIED to talk her around...it’s the first time he’s really gotten to speak with her since the end of season 3 when he found out who she was

on a final note, though, i am less than thrilled with the knighting of mordred...how is it arthur can KNOW who he is, that he’s a druid, and can do magic, and LET HIM INTO THE KNIGHTS, and still have sorcery be outlawed in camelot?? it doesnt make any SENSE

[masterserris]

all versions of mysterio are feral bastards, at least a little bit. dramatic and chaotic and cunning and damn dangerous despite just being a Guy. mysterio’s real powers are his words and psychological warfare. 

but not completely evil either. jerks for sure but even still they aren’t ya know... in-human. case and point: Ends of the Earth. p much all mysterio’s i’ve seen do this shit

more spoilers under cut

like gyllenbeck didnt wanna kill parker at all. sure he always had planned to kill nick fury and maybe some civilians would get hurt in his illusion shit to sell it being real, but he really didnt wanna drag peter into it

peter finding the truth put himself and others in danger. 

from a villain perspective, ya gotta tie up loose ends. mysterio was very on-point looking for those little details and possible issues and trying to deal with them

case in point: the trippy mindfuck illusion scene to get rid of parker and the evidence. also the final scene when he notices the issue with the drones RIGHT away.

he’s smart. he dont fuck around. he has plans for plans. i dont think he’s dead. he honestly shouldnt be. if marvel says he’s dead then they are lying cowards imo lol

yeah he’s a huge jerk for tryina kill mj, ned, and all the people who know his secret but it makes sense and it isnt done just to be evil.

------------

but like what floors me is that mysterio really could have been a hero with all that tech. he was gonna be a hero. he just did it. badly. in a very dangerous way. 

if he’d have just let his grudges go, just talked it out, he could have used all that shit to fight real villains. it worked stupid good against peter. only by a fluke did he even figure out it was fake

sure plenty of other people could have figured out it was fake. but like. he coulda really used that tech to help people more. just own it man. 

deadass you wanted your holograms to change the world and you could have!! but ya let your anger/grudges get in the way. and that is something mysterio always struggles with honestly...

so yeah really good stuff. very much like comic mysterio to a letter except with a bit of a backstory change (that still hits all the necessary beats) and he doesnt seem to have actual fear gas/chemicals/robot doubles (yet). only holograms, projectors, and drones.

love the meta joke that he’s wearing a vfx suit lmao. but maybe i would have liked to see him wear the mysterio suit more instead of only holograms/a few real scenes with him wearing it but it makes sense he can’t. irl it’s a really heavy and restrictive suit.

but he still wore a bubble on his head so mad respecc

PS: even tho hydro man and ESP molten man were fake like i thought they were, they looked cool af. esp when molten man kept growning it was p epic. thanks quentin.

ANYWAYS MYSTERIO IS 12/10 AND HE BETTER NOT BE ACTUALLY DEAD OR IM GONNA RIOT.

he really is alive, i think the post credit wasnt meant by the creators to be ambiguous at all. like that’s proof enough that he’s still out there, imo

it’s he’s really dead and everything from now on is just a projection of him then that’s just disappointing. ugh. we’ll see if gyllenhaal wants/gets casted for another marvel movie i guess. he seemed to like the role a lot so there’s that.

“people will believe anything” as he dies. even believe he’s dead? idk man i just feel like he’s exactly the character to fake his death this well. but it’s it’s just his crew pretending to be mysterio now? bah. 

let beck live 2k19. it’s really up in the air, we’ll see.

edit: i suppose one of the funniest things was that Mysterio is Right.

tony left these glasses of Doom to a kid. the world listened to tony. he had issues. (i’ll defend tony but later ok. tony made enemies a lot)

and people were gonna listen to a “hormonal teenager”

he’s right to be pissed af!! valid!! not so valid in.. ya know killing people but yeah

he was mad that the glasses werent given to the defense force. like hell he made it sound like that would have been ok in his book. he wanted people with the credentials and experience to be given the respect the deserve in the end

when he’s thanking his crew he shows this to a letter. just like comic mysterio. comic mysterio was pissed he wasn’t getting the credit he deserved

gyllenbeck is mad af bc tony pissed all over his entire life. like DAMN. DAMN. 

tony ruined everything for him no wonder he’s pissed. kinda funny tho that mysterio waited until tony was dead to take revenge. not surprising, iron man scared the piss outta people like vulture. lesser, more regular human villains. i mean who wouldn’t be? you’d literally have to be thanos to be not worried about stark and even THEN thanos knew about him. just saying

anyways that trippy mindfuck scene was my absolute fav bc that’s what mysterio is all about and it’s everything i wanted. perhaps i wouldve wanted more but lets not get greedy

also for once mysterio aint a thief. if anything he’s the victim of tony stealing/messing up his life’s work. mysterio aint robbing a bank yo

sure, he kinda tricked peter into giving him the glasses, and it may have partly been for the power trip? but also i think he deadass thought it was safer in his hands than a KID who literally almost killed his friends a few hours earlier with it on accident so he’s not wrong. again. 

mysterio for how much of a feral, chaotic, terrifying, cunning, jerk that he was? he was the “hero” after all in the story. or at least the protagonist, kinda like infinity war thanos. he had a goal that would wake people up to the bullshit all around them and put power in the hands who made it possible in the first place. the people who know what they’re doing. 

would beck have been a villain after he won? world domination? i dont think so. i think he would havent been great with it, but i dont doubt he had decent intentions SOMEWHERE in his heart. 

but mainly revenge. let’s be honest. he was pissed af and rightly so.

ANYWAYS im rambling about a bubble head so.

^^I can’t believe gyllenbeck literally has this energy after peter figures out he’s a faker. literally has this chaotic, feral energy. dead ass calls him gullible and hits him with a TRAIN. like fuck dude mad respecc for being just a guy and fuckin with a superhero so bad. really amazing portrayal of beck.

just. let beck be still alive. it would be a waste. he’s such a tricky person, it’s almost too easy for him to fake that shit. but maybe they really did kill him. hng. we’ll see in the next spiderman movie or another marvel film.

ALSO ALSO:

good au ending where tony lived and mysterio was never fired but legit became a hero bc he totally could have done so

he's got raw talent and cunning. i mean tony was just a guy with a brain too so yeah

good ending au.

[hyun-seong]

Hey I can see you’re alive lol. Have your days been alright like better than before? You can ask me anything and I’ll tell you what I have been doing. I just got out of ‘long’ shower and noticed you when I open the app. Tbh I’ve been feeling depressed and like there’s no one who could help me get distracted and make me laugh since last month otl. Well there was my best friends but something happen so yeah. I’ve been feeling tired of living this world for four years haha. It okay because (1/2)

 It’s okay since I have some male groups I like and help me forget living this world just little bit 

TW SUicide on this one fellas

MY DAYS have been a little better, my mom gets more and more healed every day even if its slow or a little bit, I am tired because I have to irrigate her tubing every six hours aND IM BAD AT SLEEPING so i lose time not sleeping and then trying to sleep but my body is adjusting so thats good lmao I WAS ACTUALLY doing really badly until last night if im being honest, the stress was getting to me and i was angry that not only did i have to do this mostly by myself but that i also had to deal with my grandmother breathing down my back PRETENDING to help, i was changing her stoma bag and I was taught how to do this, she wasnt, she really had no business trying to dictate what to do and she didnt know what half the things i was doing were for so im trying basically to add binding powder in the area between her skin and her intestine and im about to pour it in and shes like “Dont do that yet” and like tries to dislodge something that just...isnt ready to come out...AND I WAS THINKING IN MY HEAD...MCSCUSE ME BITCH THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW....IF YOU WANTED TO be in the way so bad why didnt you learn from one of the nurses who was like ALWAYS in there you blew your chance....and then my poor mother was saying how she felt so bad i had to do this and i was trying to tell her look youre my mother i really dont mind and im trying to console her and my grandma cuts me off to tell her that she doesnt mind like WHAT....WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT MIND?? WHAT DO YOU DO BUT LAUNDRY EVERY SO OFTEN?? TF??? SHE WASNT TALKING TO YOU.....LEAVE....god i was livid....and then the home nurse who comes every three days to change her bandages was supposed to arrive at 7pm so 6pm comes around and my grandma is like trying to find her business card to call and bother her and im like?? wait until 7 and call if she doesnt show?? and shes like BUT SHE SAID...SHED CALL AND CONFIRM...and my dads like “mom just wait for a bit” and she goes like “OH OK i wont call, I guess im the only one who CARES” and im like WHAT THE FUCK....................... and hes just like “she said shes coming at 7 and would call if she needed to go at a different time” and that shut her up....the gall....the goddamn gall...the sheer audacity......to imply i dont care.....when the bags under my eyes have BAGS and she sleeps a solid 12 hours a night LIKE SORRY I HAVE FAITH IN A PAID PROFESSIONAL...

BUUUT in the middle of the night my boyfriend sends me a message (THIS IS BG INFO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP UNTIL YOU SEE !!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U WANT) and as you might know hes been living in Seattle since august but flew down for a month to be here during my moms surgery, so hes been saying stuff like oh we can do this, lets do this, or we will do this next time AND STUFF like that and im thinking to myself when the fuck do you think we have the time to do this stuff you have to go back at the end of the month.....but it was nice to hear so i didnt challenge the statements hahaha because it was hard since we met in may 2016  but IT FEELS LIKE...A CENTURY ive known him.  I remember like a couple months ago he was like man i cant believe its already been two years AND IM LIKE IT HASNT...IT REALLY HASNT.........ITS NOT EVEN 1.5.....and we were both like..........what the fuck??? and its because...we never got to do the fun things, we met, had a good few dates and then Life Happened™ the way it tends to about 5 months after we met, and he said basically I have to move to Seattle because I am inheriting a restaurant and I don’t think there’s ever going to be a person like you again and i wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend and was waiting for the right time and i think i should start fresh and you should find someone who can give you the time you deserve, it sounded like a sacrifice and it was ridiculous to me because time with anyone else met nothing to me, it wasnt what i wanted, and i cried for DAYS just nonstop crying, and I always thought movies were overreacting but it feels like you’re legitimately dying, and to me it hurt worse because he liked me, it would have hurt less if he just didnt like me, that I could get over, but youre always taught love prevails so it felt like such a blindside when it doesn’t, but there was something in me, this nagging feeling like I am not going to leave him alone, LIKE IF HE STOPS ANSWERING my texts messages I will respect that IM NOT GOING TO BE LIKE...........STAY WITH ME IF U DONT WANT TO..... but I will pull for him as long as I can because thats what i felt was right, and not to toot my own horn but im not usually wrong when my brain nags me about something

so 2017 starts and i invite him every possible place I can, he took forever to reply to my texts but he would....eventually....we spent our birthdays together, we went thrift shopping, went to the zoo, and i never touched him but to shake his hand goodbye until my birthday where he held his arms out to hug me. The zoo was the last time I saw him before he moved and this was August 2017 and we were watching the gorillas and i love apes and monkeys haha so we were sitting on the bench in the back cos i had to be there for a bit and he held his hand out for me to hold it and i was so happy sitting there looking at apes holding his hand and i felt him squeeze it, I don’t know if he knew I’d notice but I did, and I thought to myself “I would die for this” because it was the only thing I stood to lose in this world and I would let it kill me

SO HE moves at the end of August and since he took so long moving the restaurant with to his other aunt and im a miserable son of a bitch and the whole time im concocting a plan to make it work but im not allowed where hes staying because im white so IM NOT WELCOME LOL....and he wasnt being paid for his work so its not like we could rent somewhere and i have a bad income myself lol it just seemed so impossible, and he said im so sorry i had been distant to you for that time, the idea of being away from you hurt so much and i knew in the end i would be separated from you and nothing was going to change it but you showed since day one unconditional love and youve told me how much you loved me in so many ways without ever saying it and it made me realize my past relationships had been wrong the whole time and I knew it because...my brain nagged me and told me but it was still such a relief to hear and when he came down for the fake christmas we had to throw before moms surgery we actually got to be like a normal couple haha...but it hurt because I knew I just had to say goodbye again

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so anyways last night I get a message saying my brother says if I clean up the house and live her permanently, I can get a cat, and I really want to get a cat and it just...now when I am stressed I think about it, I get to keep him haha, you know he never did actually ask me to be his girlfriend, hes the type who wouldn't want to create in me obligation if he couldn't provide for me,  NOT THAT i ever mind, but its like maybe its redundant at this point who knows haha and he still inherits that restaurant heaven forbid his other aunt dies, but then well....I’ll be allowed in the house.......... SO LIFE...CAN get better in like the BLINK of an eye, sometimes the greatest gifts will fall in your lap to keep you through the hardest of times, so thats why when I never asked him why he was so hopeful for a future of us because I never wanted him to stop talking like that, because it was something I had never gotten to hear until this month and now I know why 

BUT I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND I WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

that makes me laugh 

but really you’re not alone, you are a great great friend to me, and I know that me even saying that might not even help, myself, my mother, my boyfriend and my bestfriend are heavily depressed you know I can vouch it runs in my family pretty deep, and when one suggests suicide one has to come in and say ....NO NO NOW BAD IDEA...its like we just stay alive to make sure the others stay alive because you want them to live, its a sad sad cycle but its kept us alive...barely...theres been close calls with all of us lmfao and its kinda hard to worry about keeping 4 ppl alive...but we are still so THATS GOTTA COUNT

 and its okay to not be okay, but you arent wrong or bad or broken and you are definitely not a burden especially on the days where mustering a grin is impossible, anyone expecting you to be happy all the time only wants the joyous you, and in that case they dont deserve the joyous you anyways

HEY WHATEVER keeps you going as little and as dumb as it may seem or sound, it isn’t, I remember I would only get out of bed because I told myself “I have to wash my face” AND ITS GOOD you have these groups to keep you afloat and if you’re looking for some good laughs I suggest watching Cow Chop because they make me laugh every day anD ITS NICE...theyre fucking funny haha 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT3myJSvQlU&list=PLh9wof0uUEewSqGIiU1cLB0o-9VpcDqZl&index=38

i recommend starting with these videos and amazon primetime because it will acclimate you to the main two who make up cow chop and i linked you to one of my favs I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM unless you already know them I STILL HOPE YU LIKE THEM

that being said youre doing well, you’re doing very well and I am sorry its hurting because its a terrible feeling and it doesnt go away, it probably never does end altogether as small as you may be able to push it down thats why I want to make sure when the boygroups disband you have something, I dont want to risk a shock to the system when you wake up and go WHAT DO I HAVE...I HAVE NOTHING....ITS NOT LIKELY because interests do change and you do find things but to make sure that doesnt happen all I can really do is offer you my unwavering support and love, any method of contact thats good for you is good for me IDK WHY MY TUMblr didnt show i had messages for like two days but yours actually dinged on my phone which is how i sAW I HAD SOME.... so hopefully they ding on my phone still and i will be able to get to you ASAP but if you need my facebook for messenger or my number so i can be there quicker you can also send me a dm and ill get you those AND IF YOU CAN try and do something small for the you in the future, I know its hard to think about future you when present you doesnt even wanna exist BUT future you is coming and they will thank you, I screwed my future self over so many times and now present me is like youre a real dumbfuck so LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES LOL but forgetting i guess is good, I GUESS...cos its what i do like im happy until i remember then im like ah...yes..BUT THEN im worried its avoiding the problem so IDK if thats healthy or not BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO....ill let you know if i know

ANYWAYS good luck, I am rooting for you, I love you so dearly and I care so much about you and I hope one day I get a message saying im happy im here