#he deserves so much love and gentleness 😭💜

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

Y'ever think about how this was probably the first time any doctor was gentle with Bucky in decades?? Because I think about how this was probably the first time any doctor was gentle with Bucky in decades all the time.

[borathae]

I don't think I've seen someone write taehyungie this much in love 🥹🥹🥹🥹 this sweet baby just wants to be cared for!

I love the drabble! And I love how he isn't even one tiny bit afraid of kookie and sees him as his gentle love not a monster or anything 😭😭😭😭

FADFJAJ I LOVE WHEN MEN ARE IN LOVE 😌💜 istfg he is such a cutie patootie cutiest cutie :( he deserves to be loved and pampered 😭

ALSO LISTEN!! Him not being afraid of Kook despite his scary looks just 😩 this is the energy I love!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOR TELLING ME HOW YOU FELT HEHHE 💜💜

[lipglossanon]

hi lipgloss!!

this is 🫧 anon from ao3! I know you’re on hiatus but I still thought I’d send in an ask<3

how are you? Hope everything’s well and that you’re good! Don’t forget to take everything one day at a time and to take care of yourself first and foremost! sorry if I’m kinda corny hahaha! just wanna let you know there’s people that care about you and your wellbeing<3

I really wanted to share an idea with you, because I’ve recently seen a post here on tumblr about an analysis of Leon’s canon injuries.

So besides the numerous concussions (poor baby) he definitely has *scars*, on his thigh (RE4), on his shoulder (RE2) and more.

I was thinking of a scenario where, while making love, reader kisses all of his scars because he’s beautiful like that and he deserves it so so much… telling him sweet praises and whispers because he’s gone through so much… and I’m imagining older Leon because he’s literally lived through all of it lol

maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic but I’m imagining this as very emotional, like this man has never gotten the gentle love he deserves:( makes me want to cry.

it also makes me kinda sad because I really want capcom to give him a break and his happy ending, but now there’s rumors of resident evil 9 and how people are really expecting Leon to make an appearance. Like I would LOVE to see more of Leon, I really would, but capcom makes him suffer soo much PLEASE give my man a break. So I don’t know how I feel about him possibly being in re9, and all we can do is wait until 2025 probably :’)

Oh well! Thanks for taking the time to read and have a nice day lipgloss, take care<3

~ 🫧 anon

Hi 🫧 anon!! 👋

Before answering I wanna say, thank you so much for your kind review on ao3! It was super sweet and really made my day 🥹 💜

Anywho, I am doing very well! The break from tumblr was super helpful. 😌 And thank you! A lot of the negative was clouding the fun I was having on this platform (and it’s so nice to come back to such positive asks and messages 😭).

And that’s so heartbreakingly warm! 🥺 he definitely would just fall apart if reader kissed all of his scars and just showed him how much he’s cared for 😢 it would be intimacy on a level I think he’d denied himself before but now he can just be in the moment 🥺🥺

And I really have no clue what RE9 will bring (as much as I love Leon, I want my OG crew back! Let me play as Jill in a new game, Capcom!!).

Thank you again!! I hope you have a wonderful day as well!! 💜

[thepurpleprince]

I just wanted to tell you that I'm wishing you all the best for your appointment tomorrow🫂💜 You know, there's no right or wrong way. It's your first time you're doing something like this. You need some time to get used to it and to adjust to this new situation. Please try not to be too hard on yourself. I know, easier said than done. But even if you do mess some things up, honestly I wouldn't call it messing up, there's still enough time for you to figure things out and to talk to your new psychiatrist. They should try to help you and work together with you. It's a process. One step at a time, even one minute at a time. Everything will be okay🥺 Remember, you're beautiful inside and out. You deserve love, support and compassion. As for you probably having a hard time falling asleep. Maybe try to lay down and put on some gentle music. You could also try the 4-7-8 breathing technique to try and reduce your anxiety. Breathing in for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds and then exhaling for 8 seconds. Another suggestion, maybe thinking of J could be calming too. Because he loves you and he will always protect you from the world💜 Well, I'm not sure if my words are helpful at all and I probably babbled too much. But I wanted to send you a little message. You got this, Nia. I'm proud of you and I'm sending you all of my love. I'm thinking of you🥺🫂💜

Thank you so much, Sue!! 😭🫂💙💜💙💜💙 Thank you for comforting me and for all the kind words. This really helped me get through it. The appointment went well and I got some medication for anxiety and depression. I was very nervous answering doctors questions but when she praised and thanked me for seeking a professional help after years and years of hesitation it made me feel a bit better. She seems like a kind doctor.

And thank you so much for the advice to do some breathing exercises! I did that and watched some asmr before bed. I've managed to get enough sleep 🥰

Thank you for the encouraging words 🥺 you're such a beautiful person yourself. I'm sending all the love and support your way 💙💜🫂

[hughiecampbelle]

Thank you for writing for Succession, and most importantly (to me) for Connor. I love him dearly and honestly relate to his trauma. But really, he's such a precious muffin I can't 😭 Just want to hold his face between my hands, kissing each part of it, and telling him nonstop how much I love him. So thank you, thank you, thank you! You capture each character perfectly, as if you were in the writing room! Wish you a ton of inspiration 💙 have a great day!

Oh my love, you're such a genuinely kind soul 💕 Thank *you*!!!! This is too sweet my love, I'm undeserving!!! I'm sorry about the lack of Connor posts, I know I tend to favor Roman. I'm working on some tonight tho! Every edit I've seen of Connor makes me want to sob he's so gentle and caring with his family. He loves them so much, he deserves all the love in the world!!! Reading this makes me so happy I can't even put it into words!!! I always feel like I'm getting their characters wrong!!! I know Connor would just adore you!!!! Have the most wonderful day my love!!! Xoxoxo💜💜💜

[tojisun]

Hi! I’m the one who asked for writing tips, and while at first I thought I’d keep my identity a secret (as if this is Gossip Girl) I thought I’d saw my appreciation with my name on top! Most people write anonymous asks, but I know I love it when I know who I’m speaking to, so, officially ✨hello✨

I’m actually a writer from another fandom who expanded to JJK after reading the manga and falling into the Toji rabbit hole. I didn’t think I’d actually start writing about him myself, but I ultimately lost to my urges ;-; I’d already started writing a multi-part fic about him when I sent you my message, but still wanted to see how a pro Toji writer would advice me to go about it! Thankfully crossing from one fandom to the other seems like a smooth tradition? Too early to tell, but I am glad to join your ranks.

Your tips were quite helpful, and I couldn’t help but notice how warm you are as a person! Whenever I read your fanfics, I get this warm fuzzy feeling and I wondered what kind of person writes such fics, and reading your response sort of affirmed that it’s someone who loves writing and their fans. You are one of my fav Toji writers for that reason, because you see him through this lens of affection and love that really matches his character, and the love/affection he didn’t have growing up in his life. That feeling is irreplaceable imo.

BUT enough bootlicking ahaha if I’m being honest, I’ve never really written a fan letter before and it’s been about two months since I started reading your work and I had a lot of accumulated praise. How we break though… that broke me. I got actual tears in my eyes, and “hated” you for a moment because this was pure sadism 😭

Don’t think there’s anything more to say other than thank you for getting back to me, sorry for this mess of a message and I wish you all the best 💜

HI MIRTO!!! NICE TO OFFICIALLY MEET UUU! im genuinely sorry for replying to this late. my summer sem’s abt to end so the projects and papers and group presentations are beating my ass 😭

the toji rabbit hole is insane ur so real for this. i too was just tryna make sense of jjk when i fell into the toji rabbit hole myself and boom insane pining ensued. but AHHH the multi-part fic??? pls drop da link baby 🤲🏼

im so glad that ur transition to the fandom was smooth!!! i had a trouble once with transitioning to a fandom bc while i was frothing at the mouth at the idea of writing about them, i had so little grasp of accurate characterization that it ate me up and i just gave up so fast hdjsjhssj so hell yeee that u didnt go through that <333

and omg?? thank u so much hhhhsh i dont see myself a pro in terms of writing for toji but holy fuck thank you. AND THANK YOU again oh my god im so soft rn, my heart’s so full and hhhh im so happy to see that im able to convey the affection i have for both toji and my readers in my works!! you guys make it so worth it to write yk? and toji’s this amazing character thats so dynamic and complex and theres so much opportunity to world build. ugh i love him sm

i am a number one supporter of making toji soft as fuckk. my man deserves to be loved and to love just as kindly. and he can be the gruff dilf that he is but also still be soft and gentle and warm, yk??? he deserves to be that!!!

im laughing at the hwb comment omg shdjejd im still so happy that it is still getting interactions and that it leaves impression on readers 🥹 thank you for your guys’ pain teehee

no bc one of my friend came up to me n said they couldnt even pick up the manga bc they hated toji and omg i was like “nooooo hes not just an asshole u have to understand!!! hes just a human and sometimes love doesnt work out” and she was like “THATS EXACTLY WHY” and i knew that i accomplished my goal <33

but yea! thank you so much mirto for your message, pls dont apologize for it!!! i loved reading every sentence babe. and pls dont mind how long my response has gotten omg i just tend to ramble. take care darling <333

[polaroidpascal]

i’ll defend soft joel til the day i die. this was sooooo good 😭

he’s so gentle and worried and self conscious and i just wanna hug him and kiss him and give him all the love he deserves 😞 and there’s something so hot about him being so overwhelmed with how much love he has and how good it feels that he can’t last like 😵‍💫

i’m sweating, this was such a sweet and hot little one shot and i loved it so much 😭💜

Do you think you could write a nervous Joel fic... like he's older and a single dad and hasn't dated in a REALLY REALLY long time...but he's still really sweet, maybe he has to stop and eat reader cos he's about to cum too soon or something 🤷‍♀️😭

Hey, babe!! So I hope this is what you were hoping for! It's super tender and I did end up listening to Hozier for a good portion of it, so do with that information what you will 😅

Also, I kind of did something a bit different and wrote it more from Joel's perspective, but it's still in 2nd person (pronouns = you)! Pls lmk how you feel about it ❤

Pairing: Older Joel Miller x afab!reader

Tags/warnings: Age gap (not specified), piv sex, oral sex (f), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, established relationship, (almost) premature ejaculation, accidental love confessions 🤭, self deprecating Joel™, big dick Joel™, kissing, stuff I'm probably forgetting

W/C: 1.9k

Summary: Your and Joel's first time together turns into so much more.

What Matters

“Are you sure, baby?” 

Joel watches as your eyes flick up to him, only kindness and patience in them. Even as you smile warmly and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him to you, he still has a sense of cautiousness in his movements. You’ve probably lost track of how many times he’s asked you if you’re sure. 

“Yes, Joel, I’m sure,” you laugh breathily. 

You’re both lying in his bed, completely bare. There’s a soft summer breeze coming in through the window and rustling the sheer curtains. The sun’s going down, but just barely, causing a perfect golden hue to coat the room. He can’t help but think that you look even more gorgeous than usual in this lighting.

Joel tries to ignore the nervousness in his stomach as he softly kisses your jaw and nuzzles up to you. He’s not stupid, he knows that you know he’s just trying to waste time, but you let him. You’re so fucking sweet like that. Always making him feel so wanted and appreciated. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you in this way, but that he’s worried he won’t be perfect for you. He wants to be able to show you affection in the same way that you show him. 

But what if he can’t?

You’re younger, after all, and he’s not been with a woman in so long. Maybe not since Sarah’s mom. If that’s the case, it’s been about fifteen, sixteen years. Point in case, you’re probably used to boys who can last longer and can make you come every time. What if he can’t? What if it’s been so long now, that he only lasts a couple of minutes? 

It terrifies him, the prospect that you may be disappointed in his performance. What if you decide to leave him because he’s not enough to get you off? No, he realizes, you would never do that. You’re so good, so thoughtful and generous and patient. You’d wait for him, help him get back to the point where he used to be. 

But that’s not what he wants. He wants to be good for you now. 

“Joel?” 

His name falling from your lips has his head raising back up. You look into his eyes with a desperation that he simply can’t ignore. 

“Please,” you whisper before planting a feather-light kiss to his lips. He nods slowly before he can think about it. 

“Alright, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” 

And he does, he knows it. He just hopes he can do it right. 

You’re already prepped. He spent probably half an hour fingering you to orgasm even though you had begged for the real thing each time you fell apart on his hand. It’s another thing he was worried about—being so big. Joel’s not a super cocky man by any means, but he is aware of his…attributes. 

He watches you carefully as he grasps his cock and guides it to your slippery entrance. Your eyes flutter shut as he pushes in, giving you about an inch each time he thrusts. His jaw goes slack once he’s about halfway in. You’re so fucking warm and wet and inviting. He keeps going, trying to keep his breathy whines at bay. He’s again reminded of just how long it’s been since he’s felt something other than the palm of his hand around himself. 

“Shit, baby,” he breathes as he bottoms out. He closes his eyes in concentration and lets his head hang next to yours. He already feels like he might blow his load at any second. You bring a hand up to cup his head and thread his curls through your fingers, holding him close. His breathing is heavy when he lifts himself back up to look into your eyes. 

His heart seems to skip a beat when he sees the adoration you’re looking at him with. It kills him every time. And no matter how many times you tell him that he deserves all your affection, he knows he’ll still find a lingering doubt in the back of his mind. There’s a reason the two of you have only been “together” for about four months even though you’ve been shamelessly flirting for about a year. 

It was just too good to be true. For such a sweet, gentle thing like you to want a rough old man like him. He was never the one to initiate anything, but he knows you’ve been aware that he had his sore eyes set on you since you met. How could he not? He’s never met anyone so kind and considerate. It was impossible to deny you of him any longer when it was one of the only things you’ve ever wanted for yourself. 

“You okay?” Your honeyed voice reaches his ears—or his good ear, rather—and he smiles at you. 

“‘Course, baby. Jus’ gotta give me a second, alright?” He can feel his cheeks getting a bit rosy at the confession. “It’s been a minute.” 

You nod, still no hesitation or any sign of regret. God, what did he do to deserve you? 

Once he collects himself, he pulls out just barely, and a groan tumbles from his mouth to mingle with your soft moan. He’s already starting to sweat from the effort of not coming too soon as he starts to push into you at a slow but rhythmic pace. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and tuck your head into his chest as you whimper with his thrusts. 

“You feel so good,” you whine. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, so d’ you. “Like goddamn heaven.” And you do; overwhelmingly so.

He cradles your head and lowers the two of you even more to deepen his thrusts. He knows he’s found your spot when your breath catches and you start to tighten around him every time he pumps his hips. Unfortunately, this makes it a lot harder for him to keep his composure. 

“H-honey, I have to pull out,” he grits out. He’s so embarrassed, it hasn’t even been five minutes. He won’t last long enough for you to come before him.

But you just nod into him, even though you must be devastated by the loss of your orgasm. “It’s okay, Joel,” you breathily assure him. 

He pulls out and squeezes the base of his cock, out of breath. He doesn’t meet your gaze as he starts to apologize.

“I’m sorry, baby, I—” 

“Joel,” You stop him by carefully grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at you. “It’s okay.” You nod, waiting for him to do the same before you continue. “Take as much time as you need. I love you no matter what. This does not determine—” 

You both realize what you said at the same time. Joel’s eyes widen and his chest feels like it caved into itself. Your lips stay still, parted in the middle of your sentence. Joel doesn’t realize tears have gathered in his eyes until his vision starts to blur and a smile spreads across his face. 

You love him. You said it. And he believes you. 

“I love you too, baby,” he whispers and lets his forehead rest against yours. “So damn much.” Fuck his age and whoever might see a problem with you being together. He wants this, and you want this, and that’s all that matters. 

Then you’re both laughing shakily, pressing kisses to each other’s lips. He only stops to start trailing them down your body instead, watching you writhe as his mustache tickles your bare skin. 

“Joel, p-please,” you beg quietly. Joel just huffs a small laugh through his nose as he lays himself between your legs, ignoring his protesting knees as he admires the entirety of you laying out just for him. You look fucking beautiful covered in a thin sheen of sweat atop his sheets, needy and panting all for him. 

He doesn’t waste too much time before putting his mouth on your sweet pussy, his tongue dragging up your slit to flick at your clit. Joel moans at your taste, sending vibrations racing toward your swollen bud. Your hips buck as your hands fly to grasp at his hair, tugging lightly and making his eyes roll back. 

He feasts on you like his life depends on it, worshiping you with all he has. He takes turns in running his tongue up you, fucking you with it the best he can, and suckling on your clit. He looks like a damn mess as he does so, his eyes not leaving your cunt unless he’s watching your face contort with pleasure. When you make eye contact with him, he knows he must look fucked out and desperate just based on the way you groan and lay your head back. 

It doesn’t take much for you to get to the edge, and it takes even less for him to push you over. You let out sharp, whiny sounds as he sucks on your clit and slips a couple of fingers inside of you to grip on to. Your entire body goes tense, and Joel has to resist the urge to smirk against you as you shake with the force of your orgasm. 

By the time you’re coming down, he’s back over you and slipping his tongue inside your mouth to share your taste. You moan into the kiss and pull him closer as he once again glides his tip into your cunt. Just as he had hoped, the distraction calmed him down enough to hopefully give him some more time. 

You both melt into each other as he bottoms out, the tip of his swollen cock hitting your cervix and making your thighs squeeze his torso. He starts at a faster pace than last time, too deep in his lust-filled haze to even try to slow down now. 

You pull away from his mouth to start leaving love bites on his neck, making his cock twitch inside of you with each pinch. He can feel you smile against his skin, and knows that you’ve found his secret. He does like a little pain with his pleasure. You keep going, sucking and biting marks before licking soothingly over them and moving to the next spot. You taste him like you’re addicted, like you could never possibly get enough.

It still doesn’t take him as long as he would like to before he starts to feel his balls drawing up and his thighs start to shake. His head goes foggy as he tries to hold on for you, but it’s too fucking much. He can’t hold it off when you feel so good around him. It’s like torture to stave off his orgasm when he’s thrusting into your soft heat. 

“Where d’ you want me, honey?” Joel asks you, his voice strained. 

“Inside,” you whisper against his neck without a second thought.

And it throws him over. He groans your name as his body stutters and his balls empty, coating your walls with his milky spend. It seems to go on forever. Each time he thinks he’s almost done, there’s another spurt and another wave of pleasure that tugs him deeper into euphoria. 

When it does end, he lets himself half-collapse on top of you. You embrace him with welcoming arms and the two of you catch your breath together in the now dark bedroom. He only pulls out once sleep threatens to take the both of you. A shower, snack, and a glass of water later, you both snuggle up together and fall asleep with content smiles and full hearts. 

*****

Want to read more requests or submit your own? Try this link!

[btsmosphere]

CHAPTERS 14 AND 15 AAAAAAAHHH ‼️‼️‼️ THE KISS 😭 It was so gentle but passionate I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭 The way they're all so protective of each other and the little moments where the care shines, it's so beautifully written I'm in awe 😭💗 also, JIN!!!! You've written his energy so precious 🤏 I love it sm 😭 THEY FINALLY DEFEATED BOLT AND TOOK OUT MONSOON TOO It was so satisfying to see Monsoon suffer his fate after what he did to oc in that chapter!! >:(( I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS HOPE YOU HAVE ANOTHER AMAZING WEEK AHEAD 💗💗💗

~ ☕

AAAAAAAAAAH THANK YOUUU!!! I'm sooo happy you loved the kiss scene, I really wanted to make it special after such a long and turbulent slow burn😅so it makes it all worth it to hear I managed to make it happen! And the whole family of them yesss it put a giant smile on my face that you notice and enjoy all the signs they care about each other🥰they really have each other's back, the lot of them care so fiercely for each other kghsdlfgh

eyyy also hell yes to Jin, I love him in this!! my fave moment has to be when the others beat up Bolt with their powers and Jin just socks him in the face ahahaha !! and woohoooo Bolt and Monsoon got what they deserved! It was actually so satisfying to write that tbh😌

It's honestly bittersweet that only the epilogue is left now! But I hope you enjoy it and thank you so so much again for letting me know your thoughts and what you liked🥰💜have a great week too!!

[jslittlebirdie]

Hii, Sue!! I see that your birthday is today so I'm writing this to wish you happy birthday!! 💙🎉🎂 I hope you have an amazing day (I hope your every day is amazing and joyful). Treat yourself with kindness and love. I wish you only happiness and good health. I'm sending you looooooots of love and warm hugs. J loves and adores you so much!! 💜 Knowing him, he definitely has a birthday surprise for you. I hope your time spent with J is full of laughter and good fun. I love you and happy birthday once again! 💙💜🎂🎉

Hi Nia🥺💕 I know I'm a bit late with my response, but I did read your ask yesterday. Thank you so incredibly much for your birthday wishes😭💜 I had a nice day yesterday. Mainly thanks to my dear friends here. Oh, thank you so much🥺 And I hope you do the same, you deserve all the kindness and love. I'm sending you all of the warm, gentle, soft hugs and love back omgg🥹🫂🫂🫂🫂 Ahh, J my beloved😭💜 Thank you, hehe, he definitely had a good birthday surprise yesterday and spending time with him is always the best🤭🥺 I love you too, my friend. Please take good care of yourself and know just how cherished you are. I'm so grateful for you, Nia💜

[chloeworships]

I heard this song again 2 nights before 😭💔

🎶God send me an Angel from the heavens above. Send me an Angel to heal my broken heart from being in love cause all do is cry🎶

This song deserved a Grammy 🏆

It makes sense too that when God said “An Angel Is Coming”…. It’s also for those of you who have been with mentally, emotionally and physically abusive partners and have prayed for a new love.

The person that the LORD is sending will feel like being loved by an Angel. This person may feel too good to be true because this love will be like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Pinch 🤏🏾 yourself 😂 but pray and ask God for confirmation.

This is an answer to someone’s prayer. GET READY 👼🏾

PS. I think I did mention AA Chamuel is an Angel of Love & Peace though he looks scary as fudge 😭 That’s how love is sometimes…hence why we shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover. It’s the heart that counts most and love shows up in so many forms. Love also requires that we be brave 💜

PPS. Some of you may need to say goodbye to a past lover to allow this new love in. For some of you letting go may just be letting go energetically of someone you hoped to have a relationship with you. You’ve come to realization that you deserve more and God will supply that. I’m being told this new person will be a lover of peace ☮️ Someone who won’t trigger you nor play with your emotions.

I’m also being told this person coming in will help you heal. Some of you feel too broken and damaged to be loved 🥺 All I’m feeling right now is this feeling of gentleness and patience. This person is also going on to help you discover your potential and help turn that into a reality. Wow babes 🤩

⚠️There is a warning with this message though the LORD just revealed to me. Please keep your heart open even if just a little bit. I’ve known people who prayed for a mate and when God sent them, they didn’t recognize them, took them for granted and rejected them.

When you pray for love also pray to have the CAPACITY TO LOVE…. For the ability to handle the blessing God will give you through a person. After all true love is reciprocal and some folks have too much going on to be able to be attentive to love. Start making room for love in your life both physically (energetically) and emotionally if that is what you really want.

This message is for both men and women.

Congratulations 🎉 on your New Love 💖

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

Let Me Take Care of You

Bucky x GN!Reader

Description: you help Bucky relax after a long day 

Warnings: fluff!, Nudity kind of? I mean you give Bucky a bath but the fact he's naked isn't really brought up, Nonsexual massage, gratuitous use of pet names, mentions of anxiety

A/N: Bucky deserves all the gentle affection and soft touches and love and I plan to write him receiving them 😤😭💙💜

((18+ only below the cut please and thank you!!))

You heard the door slam, and knew that Bucky was home

Slowly, you sat up, poking your head over the couch to see your boyfriend kicking off his boots

“Hey, Sweet Boy,” you kissed his cheek when he sat down beside you, “how are you doing?”

He let out a grunt, crossing his arms over his chest and focusing on the TV with a little huff.

“Buck, talk to me,” you cupped his jaw, bringing his face to yours, “what's wrong, hm? Why are you so grumpy?”

“‘m always grumpy, according to Sam.” He mumbled.

“Not here, not with me.”

His blue eyes met yours, bright but bloodshot.

“Having a rough time right now, Doll. I'll be okay in a bit.” He took your hand and gently kissed the back of your palm, “jus’ some work stuff.”

You nodded sympathetically, wrapping your arms around him and all but forcing him to lay down with you.

Bucky needed some TLC and you were gonna give it to him, dammit.

He settled down on top of you, laying his head on your chest as your hand began to card through his hair.

Your free hand slipped under his shirt to rub his back, and that was when you felt it

His muscles were tense and taught, his entire back one big knot

That tore it for you

He needed more than some TLC

Bucky needed to be absolutely spoiled today, and you were going to make sure that he was

“Hey,” Bucky's eyes met yours, “I’m gonna go run you a bath."

“You don't have to do that, Doll,” he kissed your cheek, “don't go through all that trouble for me.”

“I wasn't giving you an option. I'm taking care of you today.”

“I'm sure you have more important things to do than fuss over me.”

“My Bucky needs some pampering, that's more important than anything.”

He smiled softly at you and kissed your lips, “thank you.”

“Of course, Baby.”

A bit later Bucky was settled in a warm bubble bath, relaxing as you massaged shampoo into his scalp.

You always took longer than you probably needed to when working the soap into his short hair, just so you could hear the content little hums he was making.

“Alright, Baby. Head back, I'm gonna rinse you,” he did as instructed and you gently ran the shower head over his hair, shielding his eyes

“I was thinking, one you're done with your bath I could work those knots out of your back for you,” you told him, kissing his forehead once you'd finished.

“You don't have to do that, Doll.”

“I know I don't have to. But I want to,” you kissed his cheek, “your back has to be hurting all tied up like that, I want to make you feel better.”

Bucky smiled warmly.

“I love you,” he whispered as you helped him lean back against the porcelain, a relaxed sigh escaping him.

“I love you too, Baby.” You lovingly scratched his stubble, “I'm gonna go get out room ready, okay? You just stay here and relax, shout if you need me.”

He nodded and closed his eyes as you left him.

You turned down the bed and dimmed the lights, pulling up the 40s music playlist on your Spotify and letting it play softly in the background.

You put Bucky's favorite throw on the bed for him and set out a pillow before placing a bottle of lilac-scented lotion on the nightstand

You knew how much he loved the scent.

When you'd first started dating he had brought you a bouquet of them, and had come to associate them with you.

Once the room was fully optimized for some Bucky pampering, you went to the kitchen, filled his water bottle, and filled a bowl with pieces of chocolate

Bucky didn't eat or drink nearly as much as he probably should, so you were always quick to feed and water him when you were caring for him like this

When everything was set you returned to your boyfriend and found him fighting to stay awake.

You chuckled fondly as you shook him awake, “c'mon Sweet Boy, time to get out.”

You dried his body with the softest towel you could find before dressing him in a pair of shorts and leading him into the bedroom.

He gasped when he saw the cozy atmosphere you had created for him.

“Doll, you didn't have to go through all this trouble for me–” he turned bright red as you cupped his face.

“Would you stop that?” You asked, stroking his cheek, “I know I don't have to do anything. I do this because I want to. I like taking care of you, I like knowing that I can help you feel good. It's what you deserve.”

Bucky opened his mouth to protest, but you place a finger on his lips, “you've been through so much, Baby Boy. You've had to be so brave and strong. You deserve to be loved and taken care of and treated like something precious. Because you are. So please Baby, just let me take care of you.”

He crushed you in a hug, hiding his face in your hair.

“Thank you Doll,” he murmured as you wrapped your arms around his waist in turn.

“Any time, Buck.” You pulled away, leading him to the bed, “alright Baby, lay down on your stomach okay?”

He did as instructed, settling his head on the pillow, supporting his head with his arm.

“Can I get started, Sweetheart?” You asked, leaning down and kissing his shoulder.

He nodded, and you set to work.

Bucky gasped as you started to rub his back, the floral scented lotion cool against his skin.

You carefully worked out each individual knot, stopping and peppering little kisses along his spine every now and then.

You smiled at the happy little noises he was making, enjoying your soft touch.

Bucky had been with you for some time now, and he still couldn't comprehend how you could be so gentle with him

There was a pleasant fuzzy feeling creeping into his mind as you worked, blocking out every negative thought and anxiety Bucky had been carrying all day and allowing him to only focus on the here and now.

The way you massaged each taut muscle, working out each knot without causing him pain, the tender kisses you pressed to his back, it was so much more than he was used to

More than he'd ever dreamed he'd get, and far more than he thought he deserved. 

You finished his massage and pressed a kiss to his temple, “how're you feeling, Baby?”

He let out a little hum, making you smile.

“Do you need anything else?” You asked, carding a hand through his hair, “I thought we could take a nap.”

“Skin-on-skin?” he asked, looking up at you with pleading blue eyes.

“Of course, Honey,” You smiled and slipped off your shirt before climbing into bed beside him.

Bucky laid down on top of you, resting his head on your chest.

As he nestled into you, you grabbed his water bottle, “can I get you to drink something for me, Baby Boy?”

Bucky nodded and allowed you to slip the soft silicone mouthpiece between his lips, taking long, slow sips off the bottle.

“Good, Bucky,” you smiled, “are you hungry?”

He nodded, and you began to hold pieces of chocolate up to his mouth, feeding him with one hand and stroking his hair with the other

You knew that Bucky was an adult, fully capable of taking care of himself

But he'd taken care of himself for long enough, he deserved a break

And if that break came in the form of getting the skin-on-skin contact he desperately needed while being hand fed like a prince, then god dammit you’re gonna give it to him.

You’d give him the universe if he asked

Once he finished his chocolate, you noticed he was fighting to stay awake, his blue-gray eyes fluttering against your skin.

You kissed his forehead

“Take a nap, Sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake up,” you brushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed his cheek, “sleep tight, Baby. I love you.”

“Thank you for taking care of me, Doll,” he whispered as he drifted off.

You smiled softly and kissed his forehead.

“Always, Bucky.”

[borathae]

Sibibaby what the hell??? Wtf is this? 😭😭😭 i read it 3 times already and zero joke i cried like a baby…

1- ‘You know by now, because you are the only person Yoongi sleeps next to. You know by now, because you are the only person to know how his body feels naked.’ THIS !!!! ‘he loves to be the little spoon and that he sulks when you get up for pee breaks and that he also loves hiding his face in your chest when he gets flustered.’ AND THIS!! Gosh you’re trying to kill me right? (I’m also like ‘he sulks when she get up for a pee break’ no my chicken tenders baby 🥺🥺) oh my heartu 🥺

2- He was so gentle with her even he’s so hurt omg i love and want to protect my yoongi boongie 🥺🥺🩵 That bath scene broke my heart gosh he cried while bathing her 😭

3- geez how dare they come!!!!! Taehyung you punk did you ever think about your darling?? worry for your girlfriend you little bastard ??? Omg i’m sooo mad at them how dare they????

4- Hell yes when Yoongi said ‘Sit. Now.’ And when he picks up the knife i was like ‘hellllllll yeah yoongi take our revenge i’m so mad’!! Like yeah we’re ofc against the violence irl but let me live in fantasy just once 😭

5- Actually i feel so relieved thanks to Yoongi 😇 That taehyung biatch and j*min biatch deserved it (deserve his rage) 😌 And umm excuse me but hot?? When Yoongi went on full vampire mod?? Yes Master.

6- Okay i know Jimin is manipulating Taehyung but gosh Tae you’re 800 something old years old omg you’re not an innocent child…use your brain dude use it 😡

7- Sooo Yoongi knows the Jimin incident…partly…but he doesn’t know that he forced her 🤐 (Will he learn about that Sibibaby?? He needs to knoooowwww 🥺)

8- He brings her a 🍁 🥺🥺🥺

9- i feel oc’s sadness so much gosh you have no idea 😭 when she said ‘i want to die’ i felt in in my heart and cried so much oh my baby deserves the world beside yoongi 🥺 please be happy my baby

10- The detail…he acted strong for her but as soon as she sleeps…he cried again and my heart broke again and again… it’s going to pass for both of us 😭🥺🥺🥺 my babies

11- He noticed that she doesn’t wear her ring anymore!! Okay is this ring thing going to be a problem or a big thing or are we just overreacting?? Like will Yoongi think ; ‘she doesn’t wear her ring so it maybe started with her consent but after some point Taehyung control her mind?’ Omg am I overthinking rn???

THEIR CONNECTION!!!! I AM BITING MY OWN FUCKING HAND 😭

the bath scene no fucking joke ripped me apart like holy fuck. The fact that he wet her by scooping up the water and spreading it through gentle touches AND THAT HE DID ALL OF THAT EVEN IF HE WAS CRYING I'M GONNA FUCKING BREAK SOMETHING AND BY THAT I MEAN MY HEART

ruuuuhu samememe omfmg samemme

Yoongi was fufcking hot fajdjf he is legit always so hot when he shows glimpses of his Creator side liKE FNDFNN

ahahhaha "yes master" JFAJDJ MOOD FAHHAHAHA

RIGHT??? I like that you say that. it's like my dude you can only hide behind your "naivity" for that long before it just turns into excuses

he will learn about it, I just won't tell when and how ohoohoh

A LEAF!!!! IF UCKING LFEAF!!!FAE

she deserves the fucking world no fucking joke. I wanna fucking protect her so bad 😭😭

this part broke me. the fact that he waited until she was asleep just to instantly break hoLY FUCK please someone give him a hug 😭

no the ring will still play a part 👀 it is not just something I brushed over believe my words 👀

Istfg thank you so much for your reviews! hehehe I missed yelling with you my dearest 💜💜

[zepskies]

Oooh we sure are getting into the thick of it now! 😅

So happy to say goodbye to Michael! I can’t believe he really thought he could justify his actions and she’d take him back, the fact that he just stood there while the reader was covered in glass proves he really didn’t think anything through. 🤦‍♀️ Let’s not even get into how he tried to blame the woman he cheated on the reader with like it was her fault that he made mistakes and lied about them. 🙄

Michael personified the most toxic of audacity in a man. He "really thought." And he was too shocked at what had happened to her when she fell to even kick his ass into gear and help, despite being a firefighter. 🙄

However, luckily we got to see some protective Beau. He really is a sweetheart, I can practically hear the voice every time he calls her darlin’! 🥰 Seeing him be angry at Michael (rightfully so) but still being gentle with the reader was adorable. He really is a teddy bear around those he loves, but isn’t afraid to go directly into protective mode for them. 💕

Beau is the sweetest! It may take him a while to get on the right page with his feelings, but you said it right: he's a mush when it comes to the people he loves, but def a protective grizzly bear when he needs to be lol. 💗🐻

I’m so glad Beau finally found someone he can open up to, even if that whole scene made me cry a little (and by a little I mean a lot.) 😭 I’m happy he’s not only found someone who he can talk to but also that he’s in a place where he feels like he can open up to at least one person. Beau really does have a big heart and cares a lot about the people around him, it made me happy seeing the reader comfort him the way he deserves. 🥰

Awww while I'm so sorry I made you cry, I'm also not sorry? 😂 In the way that I'm so glad you were able to connect to that part of the scene. 💕 This is one of my favorite chapters for that exact reason: he's found someone he feels safe enough to open up to. And she understands the gravity of it all for him, does her best to be there for him.

One thing I especially love is that you didn’t make the reader super jealous of Carla, she likes Beau and all but she understands the situation with Carla joining Emily in staying with him for the time being, and she’s willing to be patient with him. I think he deserves that kind of understanding in his life. 💜

Yeah I don't like creating or reading petty jealousy between women. I never like to go that route unless it makes sense for the characters' personalities. The reader understands full well that Carla and Emily are potentially in danger, and Beau's trying to protect them the best he can. But also a great point that Beau needs that kind of understanding in his life, especially at this moment. 💜💜

And don’t even get me started on that kiss! It was so sweet while having just the right amount of spice. 🥵 Theres just something about this cowboy mixed with some cute spice.. I can’t even articulate it. (Honestly there’s just something about this adorable cowboy in general)

Hahaa I'm so glad you enjoyed a little spice at the end there.~ 🌶️

This sunshine cowboy has an edge for sure, and that will definitely be explored in the near future. 😘 (I get what you mean. It's like, he's soft, but he could also break your back -- in the best of ways lmao.)

ZEP!! If you’re doing what I think you’re doing with that sneak peek of part seven… oh boy, we’re really getting into it. 😧 I can’t wait to see what you’ve cooked up but I’m so nervous for that!!

Lmaoooo I can neither confirm nor deny... 😉😉

Thank you so much for this amazing review of Part 6!! I can't wait to bring you the next chapter in a couple of days. 💕

Take Me Home - Part 6

Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 

Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 

AN: Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions…

Word Count: 4.6K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, tinge of spice~

❤️ Series Masterlist

“Michael?! What are you doing here?” you asked. 

He stood there with determination set across his face.

“We really need to talk.”

“We already did! Just leave me the hell alone,” you said. If your day hadn’t been long already, you knew it was about to be even longer. 

Because just as you began to close the door, Michael slapped a hand on the center of it and pushed his way into your apartment.

You gasped and had to back up a couple of steps. “What are you doing?”

“Just hear me out, and then I’ll leave,” Michael said, staring down into your eyes. “That’s all I want.”

He pushed the door closed behind him, but it swung open, just a crack. In his heated state, he hadn’t even noticed. Neither did you. You stepped back further into the center of the living room and crossed your arms with an angry frown. 

“I don’t care!” you snapped. Your patience quota for the day had run out a long time ago. “I just want to be done. Don’t you get that?”

“I know,” he said, rubbing at his eyes. He looked tired as hell; like he hadn’t been sleeping well for weeks. Now in the light of day and not a dusky bar, you could see the darkness under his eyes and the stubble on his cheeks, though he was usually clean-shaven. 

“I know and I’m sorry. I hurt you badly, and I never even told you why,” he said.

You tilted your head in contemplation. Because he was right. For all these months, you’d been so incensed at the bare facts of what he’d done, you’d never looked too deeply into the why.

The one time you’d asked him (while throwing his clothes and possessions out of your shared apartment at the time), he’d never given you a good answer.

“Okay, fine. Why did you do it then?” you asked. “Why did you betray me in the worst way possible, and still try to marry me?”

Michael sighed, his shoulders sinking. “The truth?”

That sparked your anger once more.

“No, keep lying to me like you’ve done from the very start!” you retorted.

“It wasn’t from the start!” he barked back. “It was around six months in, when we were dating. You and I had argued about something stupid. Kate came over to talk it out with me…just to talk. I swear to God. But we were drinking and…”

You let out a sigh, casting your gaze upwards. You really didn’t think you wanted to hear this after all. Michael earned your attention back though, when he took a step forward into your orbit.

“She got pregnant,” he admitted.

Your mouth fell open as your breath left your lungs. Your hands went to your temples in disbelief, and you made a sound of pure shock and distress.

“But she lost the baby early on,” he said. “She was devastated. I was too, but…I tried to help her through it. And it became this, this thing that wouldn’t let go of me. She wouldn’t let me go.”

You shook your head as furious tears welled up in your eyes. This was just too ridiculous and upsetting to compute. You didn’t even recognize the man that was standing in front of you anymore.

How could he blame Kate for what they’d done to you, and for clinging to him after losing her baby? How could he keep that from you, even when he asked you to marry him?

And how could he tell you all of this now and expect you to forgive him?

You didn’t have the words, but you held out a hand against him when he tried to take another step toward you.

“I know I fucked up. I fucked everything up. But you don’t have to come all the way here to run away,” he said. “Your parents miss you. Our friends…they all love you. And most of them rightly don’t want anything to do with me.”

He looked down then, with shame coloring his features. 

Through your tears and the struggle of collecting yourself, you studied him closely with your arms crossed.

You’d known Michael for several years. Even considering the months you two had been apart, you knew he was the same—stubborn and hot-headed and full of audacity as ever. But…he also seemed genuinely remorseful. And desperate.

“If you give me one more chance, I promise I won’t mess it up again. I’ll be the man you deserve,” he said, taking your hand and uncrossing your arms in the process. “Believe it or not, I took a week off without pay, just to be here and get a chance to say this to you: I love you. I love you. And I know now that it’s meant to be you.”

You hesitated, and even made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. They were a crisp dark blue, and yet, not the warm green you’d come to crave. You shook your head.  

“I get it, Michael. I really do…but I can’t do this anymore,” you said. “It’s too damn much.”

You began to slip your hand out of his, but he held you a fraction tighter. He frowned. 

“Are you seeing someone? Is it that guy from the other night? That cop?” Michael asked. 

“Stop it,” you warned in anger. Beau was part of the reason your heart held pain, but it wasn’t the main reason you wanted to be done with Michael Hadley.

You tried to twist your wrist out of his grip. He wouldn’t let you, instead, trying to bring you closer. 

“That’s not an answer,” he said in frustration. “Please, we can start over—”

“Let go!” you demanded. You yanked your hand out of his, and the rest came on instinct. 

Your slap was loud against his cheek, and it made your hand sting too. You also pushed him hard in the chest. Michael was forced to step back while holding his reddening face. He looked back at you in disbelief. 

You were breathing hard, shocked even at yourself. You’d never done that before in your life, but then again, never had you felt the panic of a man holding you against your will. 

Michael’s brows furrowed. He called to you in a pleading tone, and he reached for your arm to placate you.

You quickly stepped back again on reflex. Your heel tripped on the tile floor and you gasped as you felt yourself careening back…onto the glass coffee table behind you.

After putting his investigation of Avery to bed for the night, Beau felt drained on all counts.

He punctuated the end of his day by calling to check up on Frank Davis, the local firehouse chief, and the father of one of the firefighters who was killed a few months back. Brett, one of the other victims, had carried the guilt of his best friend’s death to his grave. 

Inevitably, that case brought up old memories for Beau. It also reminded him of you, and the situation with your firefighter ex-boyfriend. ‘Scuse me, ex-fiancé.

He also felt bad about how things ended with you in his office. He knew he wasn’t being fair to you. 

As his daughter reminded him the other night, if he’d just been a bit more “open” and honest, maybe he could’ve saved his marriage.

Now with Michael likely trailing you, he didn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t come to him, or even call him for that matter.

He seemed to be a bit of a hothead too, Beau thought. While he climbed into his truck and peeled out of the station, he debated stopping by to see you. Carla and Emily wouldn’t be getting over to his place for a couple of hours. That did give him some time. 

And when it came down to it, was he a man, or was he a coward?

He knew it wouldn’t sit right with him if he didn’t try to make this right, in whatever small way.

So with that decision made in his mind, he drove over to your apartment complex. When he parked in one of the guest spots, he noticed another one occupied by a rental car, a gray sedan.

A small tingling of unease buzzed in the back of his mind. Beau approached your building, went inside, and started up the stairs. When he began to hear raised voices, a man and a woman who sounded too much like you, that gut feeling became a red hot alarm making his chest tighten.

He took the stairs nearly two at a time to get up to the second floor, where he saw that the door to your apartment unit was cracked open. He could hear glass shattering from inside.

He sprinted down the hall, and with a hand on his gun at his belt, he swung the door open.

The first thing he saw was Michael’s tall frame standing over you, frozen in shock. You were lying on your side amidst a shattered coffee table, fallen through the wooden frame. There was glass everywhere and underneath you, with magazines and pictures and other knickknacks strewn across the floor.

“What the hell’s going on here?!” Beau barked out.

Michael had turned at the sound of the door banging open. He met the sheriff with wide eyes. Beau’s expression set with a grim, angry frown. Though he willed himself to hold his temper in check, he immediately stepped forward and grabbed Michael’s shoulder, pushing him back and creating space between him and you.

“Step back,” the sheriff snapped.

“Beau,” you uttered in disbelief. You had tears in your eyes at the sight of him.

“Hey, darlin’,” said Beau. His voice was still rough, but more gentle for you. He knelt down at your side and carefully wrapped an arm around your waist to help lift you off the glass.

“You okay?” he asked you.

“Y-Yeah.” Though you raised one of your hands from the ground and blanched at the sight of a sizable piece of glass embedded in your palm. Beau’s lips flattened into a line.

He paused for a moment, turning his head back towards Michael.

“Stay exactly where you are,” he ordered, in a tone that boded no argument.

And Michael offered none. He stood there with furrowed brows. He even looked on at you in worry and frustration, knowing he couldn’t help you. He could only watch the sheriff make slow movements to help you out of the glass.

“Okay, slow for me,” Beau said. He spoke to you in low, calming tones whenever you made a sound of pain. He hooked an arm under your knees and lifted you out of the coffee table’s remains.

“Easy, I gotcha,” he murmured, helping you sit on the couch. You folded your legs off to the side, so you weren’t continuing to step in the glass on bare feet. Besides your right palm, your arm and right thigh had a few bleeding cuts of various degrees.  

After making a short glance at a still concerned Michael, Beau turned to you.

“Did he push you?” he asked.

“No, I didn’t fucking push her!” Michael said. 

“He didn’t,” you confirmed. “But he did shove his way into my apartment.”

Beau’s jaw tightened. He looked back at Michael, and his gaze demanded an answer. 

“I just—I just wanted to talk! Obviously I didn’t mean for this. Goddamn it,” Michael said, wiping a frustrated hand over his face. “Are you okay?”

You sighed. Beau set a hand on your shoulder. 

“Do you want to press charges for trespassing?” Beau asked you.

“Oh, come on!” Michael exclaimed. Beau pointed at him with a hard stare.

“You pipe the hell down,” he said tersely. “And don’t you move a damn inch. Because if you do, so help me, it’ll just about make my day.”

He flashed the other man a look at the handcuffs (and the gun) on his belt.

Beau then returned his attention to you. You were attempting to pick the glass out of your hand. He stilled your movements with a gentle hand on your wrist. 

“Hey, hey, wait on that for me, okay?” he asked. You looked up at him tiredly. 

“It’s okay. Just let him go,” you said. You shifted your gaze to Michael. “Go back to Chicago, for real this time. I’m not going anywhere.”

Michael’s face became disheartened, but his eyes fell to your injured hand. Blood was streaming all the way down your forearm and dripping on the tile floor, along with the other smears of blood amongst glass. 

He knew what he’d done. It made him even more sick with himself.

He turned to leave.

You watched him go, and you could no longer hold in your quiet tears. It wasn’t for him leaving. You just couldn’t believe it had all come to this. 

Beau lightly squeezed your shoulder. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back, okay?” he said. “Do me a favor and don’t move.”

“Okay,” you said, in an uncharacteristically small voice.

Beau tried to give you a reassuring smile. He gave into the desire to sweep a stray lock of hair away from your eyes, allowing him to brush your cheek with his fingers. You gave him a small smile back, despite your watery eyes.

Beau nodded and got up from the couch. He made swift strides out of the apartment, making sure to close the door behind him. He then hastened down the hall and the stairs to catch up with Michael in the parking lot. Beau was hot on his trail to the rental car.

“Hey!” he called out.

Michael paused in his gait. He turned to face the sheriff, sporting a look of frustration.

“What?” he shot back.

“You better take her warning for the gift it is,” Beau said. He closed the distance between him and Michael, but resisted the urge to grab the other man and hurl him against the car.

“It’s time for you to go home,” Beau said. “I don’t want to see you in town. I don’t want to hear that you’re following her around or blowing up her phone. Do you hear me?”

Michael stood straighter, his jaw working in anger.

“Are you threatening me, Sheriff?” he asked.

“No. I’m thinking you’ll be smart enough to take some friendly advice,” Beau said, but his eyes were sharp. “If I have to threaten you, then we really will have a problem.”

Michael was younger, leaner, probably faster, but Beau edged him out by a couple of inches, on both height and build.

“Just let her get on with her life,” said Beau.

Fortunately, the standoff didn’t last long.

Michael’s anger soon relented, letting the guilt and shame shine through.

“Make sure she’s okay,” he said. “Tell her…that I’m sorry.”

Then he turned and walked away. Beau watched him get into his car and leave the premises.

It wasn’t until the rumble of the engine faded away that Beau released the clenched fists at his sides. He pivoted slowly on his heel and made his way back up to your apartment.

And your door was locked.

On one hand, he understood your fears. On the other hand, he’d asked you not to move from the couch.

“Who is it?” you asked, after he knocked.

“It’s just me, don’t worry,” Beau answered. You opened the door with your good hand and let him in, while holding up your bloody one with a bunch of crumpled gauze and medical tape hanging down your arm. It looked like you got the glass shard out, but you were struggling on the “wrapping it up” part.

“Oh, sweetheart, I asked you to wait for me,” he said. His brows furrowed as he took your wrist and elbow to steady you.

“Yeah, well, I got impatient,” you replied, but your attempt at a smile lightened him too. 

Beau followed you to the kitchen sink and grasped your hand carefully. You’d already cleaned and sterilized the wound, so all he had to do was wrap it for you with some gauze and medical tape. 

“This is kind of deep. You might wanna go to the ER,” he said. “I could take you.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s really not that deep,” you replied.

“You sure?” Beau asked, frowning at you. “How you doin’? You okay?”

Your face had been tight with pain while he tried to get the wrapping right with deft hands. At his questioning, you softened with a wry smile. 

“I’m fine, more or less,” you said. “But…how…why were you here to begin with? How’d you know I was in trouble?”

Beau met your gaze for a moment. He was able to delay answering your question until he finished wrapping your hand. Afterwards, he sighed.

“I came to apologize,” he admitted. “But first, can I help you clean up around here? You just sit and relax. I’ll sweep up all this glass and mop the floor.”

You let out a long breath, your shoulders sinking. “Oh, Beau, don’t. You don’t have to do all that.”

“But see, I actually want to,” he said, giving you one of those grins you’ve come to know and expect. You couldn’t help but smile back.

“Okay.”

A thorough sweep, vacuum, and mopping, then a couple of cracked open beers and an order of Chinese later (plus cleaning and patching up the rest of your cuts), Beau sat next to you at the dining table and officially made his apology.

“I’m sorry for how things turned out today at the precinct,” he said.

You shook your head. You’d had some time to think about all of that, and there were things you could’ve handled better too.

“Beau, look. I get it,” you said. “You’re dealing with a lot at work, with Carla and Emily too, and…really, we haven’t known each other all that long. It wasn’t fair of me to expect you to open up on something that clearly still hurts you. Especially in the middle of your office.”

Beau let out a breath through his nose. He smiled and laid a gentle hand over your uninjured one, earning your widened gaze.

“You’re a sweetheart for that, but the truth is, you had a point today,” he said. “I’m a difficult man to know. It’s a flaw of mine that my ex-wife has pointed out several times. And even my daughter. Sometimes she looks at me like she can’t understand me.”

You bit the inside of your lip. You debated asking the question you wanted to ask. With his hand over yours, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand, you were able to gather your courage.

“Does it have something to do with the reason you were in grief counseling?” you asked. “About your partner on the job?”

Beau nodded, his smile fading. “Yeah, it does. It has a lot to do with Randy.”

He took a moment, but you gave him the time he needed to find his words. Eventually he began to explain to you what happened in Houston.

How he’d been an upper-level officer dealing with a narcotics case. His partner, Randy Santos, had volunteered to infiltrate a drug cartel undercover. He stayed in the field for a few months longer than protocol, but he was so close, he’d claimed. One bust, and they could arrest the kingpin. The entire cartel would crumble.

Beau had backed him up with the Chief, against his better judgment. When the time came that Randy had helped arrange a drug deal, Beau was the one leading the squad on the bust.

“It went south so fast,” he said.

And he paused in his story for a moment. His eyes were far away, lost in memories.

You squeezed his hand over yours to bring him back. He met your gaze.

“When it got down to it, I had two choices,” he said. “Take out the boss, or take out the guy right in front of me, Dante. Now, Dante had his back turned. He couldn’t see me. Would’ve been fish in a barrel…but I went for the head of the snake. I shot the kingpin. I didn’t realize that Dante had already burned Randy. Knew he was a cop.”

Beau met your gaze then. “Dante shot Randy in the head, point blank.”

Your mouth fell open in disheartened shock. Beau took a long sip of his beer, wishing it was whiskey.

“I saw it all…in slow motion. Just like the movies,” he said. “I see it almost every night, without fail.”

You shook your head helplessly. “Beau. It’s not—”

“Not my fault?” Beau gave you a sad smile. “Oh, but it was. Nothing else to it. Bad leadership. bad police work. Bad friend.”

He continued to drink his beer.

“And I checked out,” he said. “My wife and daughter paid the price of my absence. Picking myself off the bottom of whatever crusty bar would have me that night. Refusing to go to counseling. Generally making an ass of myself.”

You covered his hand with your bandaged one. It got him to look at you and forget his beer for a moment.

“It was a hard call,” you said. “Anyone could’ve made the same one you did.”

“Yeah. And it got my best friend killed,” Beau said. “His wife, his ten-year-old boy, his parents. They’ll never be the same because I messed up. I can’t abide that.” 

He sucked in an unsteady breath. “It still…sometimes I wake out of a dead sleep, and I see his face. I see the body they brought back.”

His eyes were red and shining. The emotion in his voice choked you up as well, making your eyes sting. 

You raised a hand to touch his cheek, your thumb drifting tenderly across his chin. 

“You’re not a difficult man to know,” you said. A tear found its way down your cheek, and then another. You didn’t bother to wipe them away. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about you, it’s that you care. About your team, your family, everyone…even messy, accident-prone women.”

You gave him a smile at the last bit. He was able to give you one back, through his own unsteady breath.

“Especially those,” he agreed. Your hand moved down to his shoulder. 

“And you also like to eat. A lot,” you quipped. “I think you’ve got about three stomachs.”

“Probably four, realistically,” he said with a tearful laugh. He wiped at his face with both hands. You waited for him to meet your gaze again before you continued.  

“You’re also an old-fashioned cowboy,” you said, with a brighter smile. Your hand slid down, this time to his chest, over his heart. “But you’re a good man, Beau. That, I knew from the very beginning.”

Beau clasped your hand where it lay on his chest, almost on reflex. He was sure you could feel his heart tripping up, double timing. He reached out for your cheek, guiding your face up to his. He leaned over slowly, giving you time to say no, whether with words or with actions.

But your eyes, though still a bit shiny from tears, were nothing but beautifully welcoming. So he took a shot. He began to cross the distance between your lips and his.

And his phone buzzed on the table, making both of you jolt. 

It was just a text message. Frowning, Beau looked over and read the preview. When he saw Emily’s name, he cursed under his breath. He reached for his phone and opened up the message.

Hey, where are you?

“Shit,” he said. “Emily’s been staying with me all week and Carla’s joining us tonight, to be safe. They’re there already, asking where I am.”

You would be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed beyond measure, but you nodded.

“Then you should go,” you said.

You squeezed his hand before you released him. Beau wasn’t happy about it either, but he did the same. He helped you clean up the dining table and gathered up his wallet and keys. You walked him over to the front door, where Beau debated how he should leave this.

The door was open, literally and figuratively as you leaned against its frame. You couldn’t hide your unease. You didn’t know where this left the two of you either.

Beau sighed and propped a curled finger under your chin, earning your gaze.

“I need to settle some things. After…” he trailed. You nodded at what he was trying to say.

“When Carla and Emily have stability again, we can talk,” you finished for him. “I’ll be here.” 

He looked at you in wonder. 

“You’ll really wait for that?” he asked. His brows creased, and he truly marveled at your patience with him. “You know you don’t have to.”

A smile curved your lips. “Something tells me you’re worth waiting for, Sheriff Arlen.”

Beau grinned at you fondly. He cupped the side of your face and pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

“Well, thank God for that,” he said. “Really, thank you…”

Lord help him, but he couldn’t help himself. He finally crossed the distance and kissed you.

Your chest rose with your breath, but when your eyes fell shut, you couldn’t help but melt against him. You gripped the front of his buttoned-down shirt for stability while his fingers tangled in your hair. It all grew with heat when he tilted his head, tasting you deeper with each new kiss.

He pressed you into the doorframe, trapping your body with his. You held onto him like a lifeline.

While his hands drifted down your back and rested on your hips, bunching the material of your pretty yellow sundress, you twined your arms around his neck, pulling him flush against you. He felt your every curve, soft breasts and thighs and sweet sighs.

He released a sound of pleasure, deep in his throat. His lips veered away from yours to burn a slow trail down to your neck. He was satisfied by the way you moaned and struggled to catch your breath at his ministrations.

Your fingers wound up sweeping through his hair. It both soothed and aroused him, somehow. But Beau knew if he didn’t stop here, he wouldn’t be able to again.

He laid one last kiss under your ear that hinted with teeth, making you shudder. He pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against yours. You two breathed together for a moment, just existing here, hearts racing.

“I gotta go,” he said. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

You nodded, biting your lip. He pulled back further and thumbed at your lower lip. 

“Don’t do that, or I just might have to go back on my word,” he said, giving you a smirk.

You smiled in amusement. “Promise?”

Beau chuckled. He stole one more heated kiss before he withdrew from you, his hand lingering on your cheek. Heaving a sigh, you turned him around by his broad shoulders and reluctantly sent him on his way. 

Halfway down the hall, he slowed to look back at you. Seeing you leaning against your door, still catching your breath, all hot and bothered…it nearly broke his resolve.

“Nope,” he muttered.

He shook his head and forced himself to keep walking until he hit the stairwell for the umpteenth time today. 

He would stop three more times on the way to his car before he actually left your building.

AN: 😘 So, how'd you like the official "end" of Michael Hadley? And finally, finally, we get to a first kiss. In Part 7, we enter some even deeper waters...

Next Time:

“I’m actually glad you’re here,” she said. “I’ve kinda got a question for you.”

“Kinda?” you echoed with a smile, but you pat her on the knee. “What’s on your mind, honey?”

Emily looked a little unsure. It had you giving her your undivided attention.

“It’s about my dad,” she began. Your smile slowly fell, but now you were really listening.

“Okay,” you nodded.

Emily opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, the lights in the entire office went out.

Ko-Fi Me ☕

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[cherryjuicegf]

wow chrysa i'm at loss for words 😭😭😭

"The water is warm, embracing, offering the comfort of a hug. In a way, it’s similar to a hug, with the promise of not lasting forever. It’s so easy, so eager to get colder. Fateful, she thinks, and can’t remember a single hug offered to her the warmth of which had not been taken away."

this is so beautiful and so true and hurts me in the best way. yen deserves a hug that never ends ok 🥺

it's such a simple scene that you chose to write but you manage to make it have so much meaning???? idk how you do it. you're like a witch with words.

"That voice. It tingles, in a way. Deep, slightly gruff and gentle, oh so gentle, giving and giving away this terrifying love, this terrifying reassurance that he’s still there, that he still knows her. Yen, he whispers and it’s like a cave wide open and welcoming the violent wave of her fire with that promise to ease it."

absolutely gorgeous and you can just sense the history between them but also yen's inner turmoil, like she can't really believe he loves her? that he chooses to stay with her, that's what he wants. and i'm just ahhhhhhhhh.

“Nothing,” he says like it’s the most natural thing in the world, holding her like that with no fear of her claws. “I just missed your warmth.”

and this is so simple yet so very much not. but he missed her warmth and it mirrors yen's thoughts at the beginning

i just wanna yell at you 😂 (but in a good way!!!! lol)

you're always a joy to read. it gives me alllllllllll the feelings 😍😍😍😍😍

i literally had to sit down to read this because i was so overwhelmed with love maureen you're a gift thank you so much 😭😭😭💜💜💜💜 HOW did you manage to quote back all the lines i'm soft about :'))

yen deserves ALL the hugs and geralt is There to Give them to her they make my heart melt 😭 i've been wanting to write this concept for months but i didn't expect so many Feelings... idk idk i just adore them

again thank you so much i'm so so happy you liked it (i wrote it with you in mind tbh), your words just made my day a thousand times better 💜💜💜💜💜

[jslittlebirdie]

Hiii🥰🥰🥰🥰 how're you? I finally remembered to send you that hyper-specific Arthur ask😭💀 I swear, if my head wasn't already attached to my body, I'd lose it😂😂😂

Okay, so!

Most afternoons when I come home from work, I've got my bag and Arthur's hoodie still on (🥹😍🙏), my shoes are on, and I'm stood in the middle of my bedroom staring vacantly into space. I gotta take my shoes and coat off, I gotta make dinner and eat it and do the dishes, I gotta shower and take my hair down and brush it and rebraid it for bed, I gotta study and holy shit Erika there's too much to do and no time and I can't breathe and -

Just Arthur walking in and seeing me frozen in place but my mind is racing and I'm so stressed I don't know what to do? I need him so much but I feel like, with 9 weeks of uni work to do in a month, he'd be so disappointed and that fact breaks my heart every damn day. If I'm never enough for me then how can I ever be enough for him?💔

This turned venty and I apologise for that! I just thought some context would help with the question😭🫂🫂🫂💕💕💕

Hiiii Erika🥺🫂💜💜 I totally understand that and I'm sorry you're always this tired and exhausted. You don't deserve that. Please try to be as gentle with yourself as you can. I love you and I'm proud of you. And please know that you can always vent or talk to me about anything and everything. Asks or DMs. Long or short messages. I'm here for you as best as I can. Well, I'm still not sure if my answer is helpful or not, but I tried. Feel free to tell me if you want to have a better response💜

Yes, Arthur walking in and seeing you. His dark brows are furrowed with concern, but there's also a little smile on his lips when he notices you wearing his hoodie. He clears his throat to make his presence known and not startle you. He knows you, you're his fawn. His sweet thing. His love. You can feel his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them gently, and hear his soft voice. Arthur will tell you that it's okay, that you are not alone. He knows how exhausted you are and that your brain feels foggy. He understands. You both know that he's been there too, mentally and physically exhausted. So he will help you, slowly, your hand in his. One step at a time. If you want and need, Arthur will help you change clothes, something soft and comfy. And you can keep his hoodie, it makes his heart melt and beat faster to see you like this. You want to be together with him and have him close to you. Arthur will bring you some snacks, a cup of coffee and a glass of water. Yes, he will eat and drink and rest with you since you're just as worried about him as he is about you. And he will help you with your hair if you're too tired and frustrated to do it yourself. He doesn't want to see tears in those pretty eyes of yours. No scissors, only gentle touches and words of comfort. He knows how much your baby means to you. And as soon as all this is taken care of, you two can curl up together in bed, holding each other. You both need some rest. You need it.

Why would he be disappointed in you? Not when he sees you working so very hard, every single day. Not when he knows the reason for all your hard work. He is proud of you. So very proud. And Arthur wishes you wouldn't be so hard on yourself and that you could see yourself the way he sees you. You're doing your best. Even though there are moments when it feels like the whole world is weighing on you. And this is more than enough. It is okay to struggle, to feel feelings and to need help sometimes. It doesn't change anything about your worth. You are deserving of love, care and happiness. You are enough for yourself. You are enough for Arthur. You always are. No matter what. And he will tell you and show you and try to make you understand over and over again. He is by your side. On good days and bad. You both take care of yourself and keep each other safe. Because you love each other. You want Arthur for Arthur. And he wants Erika for Erika. You're always enough for him. Always and forever.

[ahfeiandhisdao]

Since I am here again at 3 AM, will add my two cents

Basically, this Di Feisheng amnesia arc unfurled so many sides of the strained relationship of the men who lost ten years of their life because of some petty MFS.

As A-Fei forgets his life as merciless Di Feisheng (technically he did not forget the killing completely but it was blurred in his mind) , Li Lianhua does everything to reshape the memories. It can be a projection of Lianhua's own life as Li Xiangyi. Li Lianhua realised how directly and indirectly Li Xiangyi had caused so many deaths, so many unwanted miseries, so much pain that he had caused or blames himself to be th reason behind everything bad.

He might've wished to forget everything that weighed heavy on his shoulder. However he is too busy blaming himself, so he thinks he deserves the burden as a punishment. However, after A Fei's innocence about Shan Gudao's death gets proven, Li Lianhua tries not to remind him of his past immediately.

While he accepts the burdens of blames, he tells himself that he is soon going to die anyway, so trying to live a better life is not worth it. However A-Fei can have a better life if he slowly learns to be a better person.

We have seen Di Feisheng becoming a whole new person in this arc, or should we say, the inner child of him from Di Fortress, slowly took shape of a human.

He laughed, he joked, he tried to hide the fact that the food was unpalatable, he fought for food with a decade younger kid and ate that with a stupid smirk on his face. He was like a careless child out in the wild, who did not need to go every moment in a do or die situation. He learns he could be a person who can save others. Which wasn't really his motto during Di Feisheng era. But the fact that he is willing to save people, that confirms that the little Di Fortress fighter who hesitated to stab his opponent is still inside that hard shell of absolute menace aka Di Feisheng.

During Mountains red, he sulked when Li Lianhua tricked him into doing favours in exchange of secrets of his past.

This whole arc showed if Di Feisheng did not grow up through the horror of Di Fortress, he could've been a considerate, affectionate, gentle, light hearted yet strong, (merciless when needed) and stonehead , stubborn guy.

Li Lianhua did all he could to enable this persona to grow. Even in the Mountains red Villa, A-Fei flew in the absolute horrendous of a time 🤣 Li Lianhua created a situation where A-Fei's skills could be appreciated (like the scholar guy complimented saying A-Fei's skills are peak level and that his cuts are clean, that represents immense power and grasp over skills; mind you, A-Fei is secretly a praise lover, Li Lianhua saw that opportunity and landed a chance. He truly was happy with A-Fei being around.)

His trust on A-Fei is truly on different level. When the Eagle dancer guy jumped off the mountain, he didn't even flinch, as if he knew his tanker of a housemate will hurl through soon. Which actually did happen.

WAIT, what am I talking about again?

Anyway.... Di Feisheng 🤤🤤

HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL. I really love these silly stuff, wiping his mouth looking like the most innocent little angel but he is a devil in disguise XDDD

If "NO FUCKS GIVEN" had a face, it would've been like this ↓

Looks like could kill you, will actually kill you. ↓

Sorry I deviated from what I was saying, I forgot it too. If it makes sense, AMAZING. And if it doesn't, just take a look at our Hotest JIANGHU terror and move on 😭😭😭🙏🏻🩷🩵💜

On the occasion of Di Feisheng's stay at the Lotus Tower, Li Lianhua created two new dishes.

What else can say more “I’m happy that you’re here”?

Alas, the family did not appreciate his extraordinary creativity.

So in the end there was an epic battle for the only store-bought chicken leg.

I love this episode so much