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villainousshakespeare · 4 years ago

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Bobby’s Play Date Part 1

The pandemic is keeping Tom idling in London by himself. One positive is that wearing the mask helps him avoid recognition, allowing him to wander in the park with his dog, Bobby. On one of their walks, Bobby becomes smitten with a dog named Lulu and Tom is equally enchanted by her human. Can the Hiddleston men manage to find a way to see the lovely ladies again?

Tom Hiddleston/OFC

Rated M - Pandemic, Fluff, Quarantine, Masks, Adorable Puppies, Meet Cute, Second Part May (will) Contain Smut

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @gorgeous1974 @maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere, from-hel-i-with-love, @sweetsigyn, @fictiondoesitbetter, @ms-cellanies @evieplease @viviennes-tears @turniptitaness @cynic-spirit

It was months into the pandemic that had ground the world to a halt. Tom desperately hoped things would go back to normal soon, and that a vaccine would be found to help more people from getting sick and dying. There were, of course, many changes to the world at the moment that Tom was not pleased with. Being unable to work, for instance, or travel to visit his sisters was both frustrating and depressing. One change, however, he had to admit he was not completely adverse to.

Tom loved his fans. They were usually polite, often intelligent, and had donated millions in his name to charities. He often said that he couldn’t consider himself an actor without an audience, and he meant it. It was just that there were times when he wanted to enjoy a little anonymity. Particularly when health advisories suggested a six foot distance between people, Tom was relieved to be able to slip on a plain black mask along with his baseball cap and sunglasses and blend in with the other people wandering about on errands.

He was enjoying just such a stroll now despite the warmth, grateful for the ability to hide in plain sight. Bobby frisked happily on his lead, chasing after imaginary prey as they ambled aimlessly down the winding path. It was a lovely, sunny day, but fear was keeping many people at home and they had the park largely to themselves.

When they reached a bend, Bobby began barking excitedly and pulled Tom along, his human chuckling as he was dragged by his furry companion. The reason for Bobber’s excitement soon became apparent. Sitting on a bench placed beside a scenic little river was a woman in a flowered mask, holding the lead of a small, gold and white shih tzu dog in a ridiculous pink and white checked dress.

Tom had to take a firm hold as Bobby frantically tried to go over and meet the smaller dog, who had begun barking herself as they rounded the bend. Her fluffy head, complete with bow to keep the hair from her eyes, perked up, and she began jumping up and down in a little dance. Bobby calmed down a bit as he felt Tom’s pressure on his lead, but his tongue still lolled out of his mouth in a dopey smile.

“Steady,” Tom commanded, feeling embarrassed as Bobby continued to hover as close as allowed to the silly looking strange dog. “I’m sorry, I promise he is completely friendly.”

“It’s okay, so is she,” the woman replied, smiling with her eyes even though he could not see her mouth behind her mask. “You know, she’s usually quite shy, but she seems to like him! May I pet him?”

“Please, and thanks for asking.”

Letting the lead out a bit, Tom watched as the woman reached down to give Bobby a good pet, complimenting him on being a handsome boy. Her fluff of a pup had advanced timidly, and she and Bobby commenced sniffing and circling each other with obvious enjoyment.

“Wow, I have never seen her respond like that to a strange dog!” the woman laughed.

As she spoke, Bobby rolled onto his back and waved his paws in the air with a complete lack of dignity.

“Safe to say he is rather taken as well,” Tom chuckled. “Absolutely shameless! Mind if I have a seat? It seems a shame to deprive them.”

He gestured to the bench next to hers, wanting to keep a safe distance and indicate he respected her space, and the woman nodded. She was dressed much more simply than her dog, he noticed. Black leggings and long rose colored tee shirt, a pair of keds. Apparently, she got all of her whimsy out on her pup.

“What’s his name?” she asked, watching as the dogs frolicked with each other.

“Bobby,” he supplied. “I’m Tom.”

“I’m Leia, and that ridiculous creature is Lulu.”

“Like the princess?” he couldn’t help but ask with a chuckle.

“General,” she answered without missing a beat. “It’s what happens when you are born during the release of a cultural phenomenon. Pity all of the little girls out there now being named Daenerys or Gamora.”

Tom held his breath for a moment. If she was a Marvel fan, then did he have to worry about her recognizing him? Fortunately, she seemed more interested in the game of tag their companions were playing, and he let himself relax.

“There’s a dog run about half a mile from here,” he suggested after a few minutes of companionable silence. “It’s actually where we were headed.”

“I know, but Lulu is so skittish,” Leia sighed. “She just huddles in a little ball when the bigger dogs come near her.”

“She seems fine with Bobbers.”

“I know! Your adorable boy is some sort of sorcerer! It makes me so happy to see her playing with another dog!”

“I have to ask…”

“The dress?” she guessed; voice wry.

“Yeah.”

“She’s a rescue. When I got her, she was a pathetic, bedraggled little thing that had been there for ages. It was winter, and the first times I took her out I had to put a coat on her. After that, she started equating dressing with going out, and would get so excited every time I took a coat or sweater out for her. When the weather warmed up, I realized that I missed the way she would jump up and literally throw herself into whatever I had picked out for her to wear. It’s completely silly, I know, but it makes her happy, and she just looks so cute!”

Tom’s heart melted a little as he listened to her explain. Yes, the dog looked silly, but it was such a sweet reason that suddenly the little dress transformed into a symbol of kindness rather than an eccentricity.

“She does look adorable,” he said.

A beeping noise had him drawing his phone from his pocked, and he was surprised at the time. He had to get back home soon for a virtual session with his trainer. Oddly, he found himself reluctant to go. It had been so long since he had just spent time with another person, it had felt good just to sit in her presence and relax.

“I’m afraid I have to get going. But Bobby and I usually walk this way around lunch time,” he blurted out, lying through his teeth. “Hopefully we will run into you lovely ladies again. So that the dogs can play.”

He was more grateful for the mask than ever, as it hopefully hid the blush he could feel coloring his face. Once more her vivid eyes sparkled and she stood up too, twisting around with him as they attempted to untangle the leashes.

“I’m sure Lulu would love that!” she told him, picking up the golden dog as she whined and tried to follow after her new friend. “We’ll see you around, Tom. Bobby.”

With a jaunty step he let his long legs take him away, looking forward to tomorrow already.

It rained the next two days. Not just a soft drizzle but am early summer storm that made the idea of a pleasant walk a fantasy. Tom and Bobby both resented the weather, and it was a toss up which of them was more disagreeable as they were forced to stay indoors.

When the sun shone on the third day, Tom immediately cancelled all of his afternoon plans. He had waited patiently, he told himself, he was not going to let this day go to waste. It was for Bobby’s sake, after all. The pup deserved a nice day out after being shut up inside.

They left home mid-morning, Tom unable to sit still any longer. He couldn’t say why exactly he was so keen on meeting Leia and her silly dog again, but he had been able to think of nothing else during his enforced isolation. Perhaps it was simply the novelty of meeting someone new who didn’t instantly faun over him or act nervous and shy. She treated him as though he were just an ordinary guy walking his dog in the park; which of course was what he was!

He arrived at the benches where they had met earlier that week, but they were empty. It was still early, so they made a circuit of the nearby trails. His eyes always alert for their new friends. They passed a few other people walking their pets, but both Tom and Bobby were uninterested beyond a nod hello and brief sniff. The Hiddleston men were both to focused on finding particular companions.

It was, as it had been before, Bobby who first discovered their presence. As they were walking through a more secluded, twisting section of the park, the dog’s ears pricked up and he began barking in excitement. Tail wagging frantically, Bobby yanked on the lead and pulled Tom along behind him as he took off around a curve. A high pitched yip sounded from the direction he headed.

“Well hello there!” Leia greeted him, leaning down to scratch Bobby’s head as he and Lulu danced around each other. “We were hoping to run into you boys again!”

“Eh heh heh,” Tom laughed, dancing around to keep his leash from entangling too badly with hers. “Obviously Bobby here was looking forward to that as well! As was I.”

“Well then, I am so happy you found us.”

He felt absurdly pleased as they fell into step beside each other. The two dogs were happy to walk along, darting back and forth in play as they went.

“Were you going anywhere in particular?” Leia asked casually.

“Oh, just wandering about,” Tom answered, not wanting to admit that they had been on a mission to hunt down the ladies.

“Well then, we can wander together.”

As the dogs played, Tom and Leia chatted happily. He learned that she was an aspiring writer working on edits to her first novel, and a tour guide, specializing in guiding small groups around literary sights in London as a way to earn money.

“Of course, it’s hard to be a tour guide with no tourists,” she sighed. “You would think it would give me more time to write, but its hard to focus. Anyway, I talk too much. What about you?”

“Oh, I’m on furlough,” he shrugged, staying vague. “Just loafing about the house, annoying Bobby. So what is your novel about?”

He managed to direct the conversation back to her, even though she avoided the subject of her book. Instead, she brought up some of the more interesting places she had brought tourists. Tom, a proud Londoner, had been to many of them, and they happily discussed the more interesting locations. She seemed impressed that he had read books by most of the authors they discussed and was quite ready with a line or two from memory. In turn, Tom loved how expressive she became when describing the joy people experienced finding themselves walking in the footsteps of their favorite fictional characters.

By the time Leia announced that she and Lulu needed to head home, (Tom thought he detected regret in her voice) he was surprised to realize that they had been talking for almost two hours. It was the most pleasant afternoon he had passed in some time.

After that, Tom and Bobby spent every afternoon in the park. At first, they managed to “stumble” upon their companions most days. The days they did not were frustrating for both of them and usually ended with them barking at each other. After a few run-ins with Leia and Lulu however, Tom took the plunge and asked if they would like to make their daily meetups official. Leia seemed pleased, but with the caveat that some days she did need to stay home and write when she was struck by the rare inspiration. Tom deflated momentarily, thinking she was looking for an out, until she offered to text him an let him know if they would be absent. He happily gave her his cell phone number and took hers in return, letting her know that she should feel free to text anytime and then feeling like an idiot the minute the words left his mouth.

Over the next two weeks they met all but three days – two because of her writing and one when the skies once more conspired to thwart him. Their conversations ranged from literature to films to favorite places to travel. Leia sometimes teased him about his obvious upper class life style, jetting about to Viet Nam, Hawaii, Australia… but that was the closest his celebrity status ever came to being brought up. He would occasionally feel a stab of guilt over keeping that part of himself from her, it felt dishonest to lie by omission, but he was enjoying being just Tom, and didn’t want to spoil it.

Tom started taking more care in his appearance as the days went on. Gone were the torn running shorts and frayed t-shirts, and in their place were his slim fitting dark jeans and more presentable tops. If those tops also stretched a bit tight across his chest to better show off his muscles, well, he had worked hard enough to achieve them! He made some attempt to style his untamable locks as well, experimenting with different products until he found something that made the curls less crunchy. If he was remembering Leia’s off hand comment about how she liked his natural curls no one else needed to know that.

On the one month anniversary of meeting them in the park, Tom paced nervously back and forth near their favorite bench as he waited for them to arrive. He had a proposition for Leia and hoped desperately that she would say yes. When Bobby started frisking about he knew that he would see her walking Lulu, and spun around to see her come towards them.

“Sorry I’m late!” she smiled with her eyes. “This one managed to hide my house keys, and it took half an hour to track them down to her stash under the sofa.”

Lulu looked unrepentant as she pranced around Bobby, and Tom chuckled good naturedly. He gestured to the bench and sat after Leia, leaning back and stretching out his legs.

“No worries, honestly,” he assured her. “I am just delighted you are here now.”

“You are the perfect gentleman.”

“All lies, I assure you,” he waited for a moment, wanting to sound casual, and then launched into it unable to delay any longer. “I was wondering… The park is lovely, of course, but I thought it might be nice – for Lulu and Bobby – if they had a bit more freedom to run about. Lulu being afraid of the dog run, she has no opportunity to be off leash, and that can’t be too fun for our furry companions.”

“They seem to be having a good time to me,” Leia laughed, looking at where the dogs were investigating a small pile of leaves by the side of the trail. “But what did you have in mind?”

“Well, you see, our house has an enclosed back yard. Not huge, mind you, but large enough they would be able to chase to their hearts content without fearing larger beasts. I thought that perhaps you and Lulu might want to come over this Friday evening for dinner. There’s a testing sight not far from here. We could each get swabbed to make sure we are uncontagious. My bubble is only my Mum and Bobbers, and from what you’ve told me yours isn’t much bigger. It should be reasonably safe for you to come. I could make us dinner, and we could eat outside. If you would be comfortable with it, that is.”

He tried to look calm, but inside Tom was a riot of nerves as he waited for her answer. Leia’s brow crinkled in thought, and she glanced again to where the dogs were once more hopping back and forth across the path.

“I can’t do Friday,” she told him, and his heart fell.

“Oh, alright then. It was just an idea.”

“Friday is my virtual book club,” she went on, talking over him. “Would Saturday work?”

“Saturday would be perfect!” he beamed.

“Great! I’ll go to the clinic for a test tomorrow then. Would you like me to bring anything?”

“Just Lulu and a healthy appetite.”

“Excellent! Now what do you say we walk over to the little waterfall?”

Tom practically floated through the rest of their walk. He had enjoyed getting to know her so much, but he wanted to spend more than an hour or two at a time with her. Dinner would give them a chance to really relax. Plus, he was dying to see her mouth. After a month of imagining her smile he wanted to know if what he had in his mind was anywhere close to reality. She would see his full face too, but if she hadn’t recognized him by now it was doubtful she would from the lower half of his face.

His confidence dipped a bit when they returned home. Looking around, Tom began to panic. Between photos of him in his full Loki regalia to a group picture with the cast of Skull island, there were far too many give aways of his fame. She might not recognize him, but you would have to like on another planet not to know who Sam Jackson was!

Tom spent the next few days rearranging his home. His awards, normally discreetly placed in a cabinet in his living room on the insistence of his mother, were moved to a back shelf in his office closet. The set photos from a decade plus of filming were shoved under his bed and various pieces of memorabilia were secreted away in the spare bedroom. By the time he was done his guilt had increased but he was fairly confident that all trace of his career had been tucked away safely.

“Well, Bobbers, let’s hope we don’t blow this,” he sighed, adjusting the bandana he had bought to go around the dog’s neck. Bobby whined slightly and Tom grinned. “None of that, you want to look good for your date. She has a fondness for clothing, after all.”

Bobby gave him a look that said he clearly knew Lulu was not the one Tom was trying to impress with his new fashion statement, but Tom cheerfully ignored it. Tonight was going to be a wonderful night.

#Tom Hiddleston #Fan Fiction #Fic #Tom Hiddleston Fic #Tom Hiddleston/OFC #Bobby Hiddleston #Fluff #Flirting #quarantine #pandemic #puppy love #cuteness overload #smut in second part #meet cute

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reynie-muldoons · 4 years ago

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'The Art of Conveyance and Round-Trippery' Liveblog!

Sorry this is a few days late!! I moved across the country this weekend, we drove like 13 hours within 2 days and we did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm exhausted, but the boxes are slowly emptying and I've been wanting to watch this episode so gd bad, so LESGO

Over halfway through the season!!!! That's absolutely surreal

1:11 oooh they're getting their royal fitting

1:22 LMAOO WTF 😂😂 Princess Diaries vibes

1:42 ✨CONFIDENCE✨

1:52 Alfonse is a perfect name for that guy HAHA

2:05 Nathaniel, my guy, you've made some points

2:11 "do you feel your power?" POWER RANGERS, GO

2:24 no no hesitation just prolly thinkin bout how he was caught cheatin

2:39 "can you not allow yourselves luxury?" okay fr I feel that I get Nice Things Guilt(tm) too easily

2:52 dayummmm let's talk about Sticky being a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, mans is brave as fuck under extreme pressure and loyal to the point of putting himself on the line

3:15 bro Sticky getting some recognition. Love to see it, he deserves it

3:19 "is that a coincidence? Or written in the stars?" IS DR. CURTAIN CATCHING ON THAT THEY KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE OR LIKEEEE

3:49 WHAT WORD AROUND CAMPUS 😭😭😭 MY BOYS ARE NOT A MISTAKE HOW DARE YOU

4:09 why doess the action of Dr. Curtain putting the sash on them seem so nefarious

4:36 I dont really understand the whole pastel yellow, blue, and pink palette of the school but the boys both look pretty okay in their vest-sash getup

4:42 THE OPENINGGGGG. This shit slaps.

5:41 Kate and Constance look so fucking cute in that shot, dont ask me why but hnnggggg

5:54 sash rope 😂😭 kate, honey, that's a reach

6:09 it might feel buttery, but, my guy, it also looks buttery. It's literally the color of butter. Get yourself some crisco

6:24 I find it kinda interesting that they made up new riddles for the show, I'm almost positive that that one wasn't in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong though

7:03 "I'm not gonna apologize for knowing things" the sass. the ✨confidence✨. living for it

7:03 If they build on that it sets Sticky up really nicely for the arc in the second book where he starts to show off a little

7:15 tiny Constance who is constantly dressed in pink with cute little braids is the perfect medium for the most morbid comments 😂😂

7:55 Martina's hot in her uniform. Can't prove me wrong.

8:15 why does that make me sad 🥺 eat with your friendssss. iirc they only talked about eating at the Messenger table in the books

8:26 dipshits forgot their lunches. Seems Constance is holding the communal braincell atm

8:50 anyone have Guiness on speed dial? Reynie and Sticky have a submission for them

9:25 oh hello this was alluded to in the preview!!! Morse code is compromised, rip

10:05 so are Jackson and Jillson stuck with night guard duty all the time?? They've been outside at night a lot

10:18 ahhhhhh the little blinkie light, stopppp

10:25 MILLIGANNNNN!!!

10:25 so is this the point where he starts staying on the island with them????

10:39 so are they just like "fuck it we'll do it right before sundown" ???? Like Jackson and Jillson are still gonna be on the lookout, they aren't gonna chill just because it's not fully dark

10:50 did the kids.....just not tell them that Mr. Bloom was on the island 😂 nice oversight guys

11:05 MADGE TIME MADGE TIME

11:05 remind me to tell you guys a story about Madge, I may or may not have done something irl a few years ago that would make y'all proud 😂😂😂

11:16 idk why but it makes me so happy that they kept Madge as a peregrine falcon

11:37 Rhonda, my love, you have my heart in your hands

11:46 roll credits

12:05 THE HEAD SHAKE HAHAHAH

12:06 Awww man, I was so excited for Milligan to be on the island .-. He must have been scoping out the inlet

12:07 "they're quite regal" A. I read the subtitles as "legal" the first time and that's somehow really in character for him, and B. IS MILLIGAN GOING TO NAME HER???!? HER MAJESTY???? PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH

12:15 his grimace KILLS ME

12:17 the hard cut from Nicholas in a brown setting and brown suit to Nathaniel in a blue setting and blue suit was lowkey striking

12:36 are they looking up Morse code 😳 can you imagine if they wrote down the message and are now decoding it

12:41 omfg all that for a HAT 🙃 I feel stupid

12:51 two things: 1. Those walls are atrocious, and 2. Yeah, talk about Morse code in a louder voice Connie girl, you're just in a public hallway

13:03 I'm sorry but those orange pillar things are not the vibe

13:03 the golden gate bridge called, they want their arches back

13:10 please let Kate climb the tower before the end of season 1. please.

13:22 y'all are about to be flying something else 😎

13:33 cleansing breaths

13:47 OH HELLO MESSENGER DUTY ALREADY??

14:06 what the heck is that teal pole for 😭😭

14:12 blindfold timeeee

I'm so sorry but I'm exhausted, it's 11:30 pm on Sunday night right now, I'll finish this episode tomorrow morning after I get some sleepies

Good morningggg lesgetatit

14:50 "vomit of metal" ashhdjdjd

15:16 a wild Martina appears!

15:36 and if you folks look to your left, you'll see a wild Constance being the voice of reason once again

15:57 "lose the bucket" "I'm not gonna do that" HELL YEAH KATE

16:07 I get not having the bucket on the court lolol, I thought Martina was telling Kate to lose the bucket in general. Like, yeah, good luck convincing her to so that

16:35 show!Kate is much angrier than book!Kate and I'm still deciding how I feel about that. The Kate we've known from the books is a sunshine baby with looots of repressed trauma.

17:03 ......what is that. why is that.

17:11 WAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE REYNIE AHEHDJDJD

17:15 HI MADGE

17:41 the grand swell in the music makes me think it's going to go comically wrong

17:51 she's majestic because she's a queen 🥺

18:03 LMAO CALLED IT

18:14 Rhonda and Number Two getting at each other is such a sisterly thing to do 😂😂😂

18:37 ohhhhh? Someone's approaching? Miss Perumal perhaps????

18:45 YEAHHHHH BABY

18:50 PROTECTIVE MOM COMIN IN HOT!!!

19:22 THEYRE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭 I feel like I've been subconsciously starved for her and Mr. Benedict's interactions

19:36 died at that line in the one trailer

20:00 so Miss Perumal pulled a Sherlock Holmes. Love that for her

20:20 Cheri Tupintown??? Of all the aliases they could pick, Cheri Tupintown???

20:33 "Power in Truth Inc" that HAS to be something Rhonda came up with

21:01 you can literally watch Mr. Benedict realize that this is a woman not to be fucked with and he is CORRECT

21:23 "he's fine. Perfectly fine." At this, Mr. Benedict's pants caught aflame.

21:52 something about Constance sitting in on practice!!! It scratches an itch!!!!

22:19 "incorporate the helix. Live in the helix." Lord Helix is pleased with this offering.

22:26 so what I'm hearing is Kate is going to blow up on Constance for messing with the bucket

23:13 unrelated but Jillson'a shoes are cute

23:29 why does this room give off Johnny Depp's willy wonka vibes

24:13 that looks like a chair from a doctor's office waiting room 😭

25:29 they do be egg heads tho

26:02 baby girl, I have no idea why you're crying at weird art but let me dry your tears 🥺🥺

26:50 SHE FOUND ITTTT

27:27 okay Indiana Jones, go off

27:46 why did that kinda sound like Miss Perumal

28:43 the return of everyone's favorite, "enjoyable"

29:05 not that I'm not loving the ice breaker questions and the one-sided conversation, but I'm not loving it

29:22 oh so we're getting right into it aren't we

29:54 his eyes being open again makes this infinitely creepier

30:36 "where's your proof?" Miss Perumal doesnt fuck around!!!

31:29 you're telling me Constance has been there all day?? And Kate went to find her???? 🥺

31:58 oh so we're getting right to it then?? Kate addressing her independence and trust issues arc????

33:29 NEWS!!!!

33:49 CONSTANCE RIDING PIGGYBACK!!!!!!

34:04 okay, so they opened the murder hole, what are they gonna do now

34:59 Italian? 🤨 m'sir that is so fancy

34:59 fun story I learned Italian diction in college, so I know a little bit

35:16 "take your time" the whisperer says, immediately repeating the prompt to get the answer sooner

35:31 theeeeere it is

35:46 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHISPERER SAYING "YOU ARE HOME" 😭😭😭 the show really played up the cult shit!!

36:02 Kate being protective of Constance 🥺

36:20 ohhh shit is it time for Connie girl to have double Reynie? Double Sticky?

36:36 STICKY

36:52 "what kind of nonsense?" HAVE THEY NOT ASKED THAT BEFORE THIS?????

37:14 "and your tiny brain can somehow pick it up!!" KATE STOP 😂😂😂

37:16 "I knew you had to be special in some way." WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

37:51 she's right, this is disregard for their safety. The show made Mr. Benedict and his team a lot more back-alley and dishonest, and Miss Perumal has every reason to be pissed

38:30 oh good they finally remembered he has narcolepsy

39:38 and the best mom award goes to:

40:38 I was gonna say that this hallway is how I imagined the KEEP in riddle of ages but then I remembered that (spoilers) the Institute is the KEEP

40:46 oh, hello propoganda

41:10 that's the other person Rhonda couldn't contact, along with Mr. Bloom. This has to be the brainsweeping process

41:22 yeppppp

41:44 this dark doctor's office theme gives me horror movie vibes

42:22 ohhhh, so that's how they replaced that scene where the four of them jump in a crate to hide and Sticky drops his glasses in the open

42:47 and so we've come to the part of the story where Sticky and Reynie become infinitely more conflicted

42:47 and since we've reached that point..... can we have the white knight scene? Pretty please? Please Disney I'm begging you-

43:12 so Reynie just figured that out without Constance? :/

44:03 love the manipulation

44:31 I'm sorry, the farm?

44:35 farm and forest????

45:16 "the Emergency has served its purpose" 😳 well okay then murder man

45:39 "one thought, one purpose" the hive mind rises once more

45:48 LOVE THE MANIPULATION

46:07 "what have you done to earn anyone's trust?" VALID

46:26 "please do!" WHY AM I EMOTIONAL

47:06 "we still have the falcon" that you do 😂

47:19 AYYY HERE WE GO!!! Time for Milligan to stay on the island??

47:49 ohhhh Constance, casual telepath strikes again

48:16 "stop it, Kate!" OOOOHHHHH

48:53 that line ("it would be nice to be unburdened") would be funny as shit if not for the fact that Constance is a telepath unbeknownst to herself and can both subconsciously perceive people's thoughts and hear the subliminal messages

49:20 HI MRS. PERUMAL!!!

49:25 wow, she's really going through with it 😳 not that I doubted her, but still, that's dedication

49:39 OH SHIT

50:17 oh, so he's an asshole to SQ too. Got it. Torches and pitchforks? Ready to kick his ass?

50:40 "for the moment, anyway" FUCKIN WHAT

This episode was really good!!! They covered a LOT. I hope Miss Perumal comes back to the group and talks about her findings, I hope Milligan goes to get the kids and they tell him no, and I hope they get that classic 4-person Society brainstorming and binding time that hits that sweet spot

#mbs disney+#mbs liveblog #the art of conveyance and round trippery #the mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

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borisbubbles · 4 years ago

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15. SWEDEN

Hanna Ferm - “Brave”

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In the year 2020, the social scientists at Sveriges Television faced their biggest challenge yet: Convince the Swedish voting public to crown a female Melfest winner.

This was a task that would require a near-Herculean amount of effort, of course. No degenerate male (--Tenko Chabashira) should be given a remotely decent song so they could inevitably plunge into the abyss. All alpha females however should be given a STRONG EMPOWERMENT ANTHEM!

Enter Hanna Ferm, who has <<A Completely Unique Never Before Seen Staging Concept by Sasha Jean-Baptiste>> and the EMPOWERMENT anthem of our decade!!!!

She then took the stage, and-

BRAVE NOW

I FUCKING SLAPPED A RABBI

I’M ALL GAY NOW.

AIN’T NUTTING GONNA STEP ON MY BRAIN NOW.

...

. . .

15. SWEDEN

Dotter - “Bulletproof”

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In the year 2020, the social scientists at Sveriges Television faced their biggest challenge yet: Convince the Swedish voting public to crown a female Melfest winner.

ENTER DOTTER, who blew the competition out of the fucking *Kattegat* with her sultry-sex laser lapdance

I’M NOT BULLETPROOF

*HOOT-HOOT*

Clearly someone who exudes so much femininity and glamour easily snatched Sweden’s wig away and she-

oh.

15. Sweden

The Mamas - “Move”

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Entry Analysis

and suddenly the Mamas came out of nowhere and won ahead of the two hot favourites.

I honestly... have no clue how this happened? Not that I’m complaining, after *all the fucking MEDIOCRE-TO-AWFUL MEN* SVT had put is through over the years, I was more than pleased to witness that 2020′s Melfest had turned into a feministic battle royale of various women in differing stages of ‘sass’ grinding the beta manfolk into soylent paste. Loved it.

What, I didn’t love however, is the end result, oops! Yes, I like ‘Move’ and The Mama’s are, probably by default, my fave Swedish entrant since Måns,

However...

‘Move’ is just so... plain?

Honestly, if this were any country other than Sweden, would we even have paid attention to ‘Move’? It’s your average inconspicuous disney soulpop. You could rewatch “Hercules” and stumble upon a “Move” every 20 minutes or however far apart the Muse scenes are. Generic cliché soul remains generic and cliché even under Sweden’s flag, folk, I am so sorry to tell you.

However, my main gripe with ‘Move’ is largely that it beat Anna and Dotter and well... that doesn’t fucking matter anymore? If I’m going to be deprived of Anna and Dotter, I’d rather have them lose fair and square to a likable, if vastly inferior entry, than to have them conned out of Eurovision by what Queen Senhit refers to as “Il Maledetto Virus”.

So all there’s left for me, is to enjoy “Move”, which I do. I like the Mamas, whose materal warmth permeates through every note and transforms “Move” into... well, almost a good song.

I suppose I’ll add an addendum for “In the middle” because the ONLY scenario where I’ll be discussing that song here is if it wins Melfest 2021 and it won’t. Why won’t it win? Well 1) it’s worse than “Move” and as I just established, “Move” isn’t that good. 2) Eric Saade Hurricane Clara will take ZERO prisoners when she takes Sweden by Klingenström and wins the televote!!!! 3) Eric probably still wins anyway, continuing the Swedish trend of mediocre male Melfest winners. lol. Sigh.

NF Corner

Since I already linked Hanna and Dotter, I’ll start with them.

Hanna fell under the category of “amusingly bad” for me. Yes, “Brave” is a really bad song, come on now, you must realize this by now, yes? It’s your typical Laurell Barker pseudofeministic bullcrap, dime a dozen. It was a fave simply because it closed semi four.

What amazes me (and secretly, amuses me), is the speed at which the basics seemed to realize it was no good? Usually it takes Sweden snatching a top five spot before they realize it. Oh well, the sweet prerogative of being a woman participating in Melodifestivalen.

Dotter otoh. Man, I was OBSESSED with Annamazing and I didn’t expect anyone to claim her spot as my fave in Melfest 2020, but then Dotter came, saw and conquered. "Bulletproof” is the perfect song for bedroom karaoke purposes and one that just *oozes* feminist power without forcing it.

Naturally, a kick-ass woman was never winning a Swedish NF, courtesy of the Austrian Jury (the basics were convinced the Austrian Jury downvoted Dotter by accident but like... look at where Austria is located on a map and tell me *that* is a region known for good Eurovision taste.) Still, “Bulletproof” holds up to this day! I am sure that if Bulletproof had won Melfest and Eurovision 2020 would have gone through, Sweden would have come top 3 and maybe even won. Hopefully “Lidl Tort” can pull an upset on Friday!!!!

And now we talk about Anna:

Anna Bergendahl - “Kingdom come”

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Honestly, this song is just “Ashes to ashes” but with an act? Which: 😍 I love ‘Kingdom Come’ to bits and I especially love how Anna manages to ground her song as a moment. If Dotter hadn’t been there (and if Eurovision hadn’t been cancelled), I would have been SO annoyed by her being robbed twice in a row, but at least she got the recognition she deserved this time around. SLAY MY SWEET GOBLIN PRINCESS!!! (I’d say “queen” but she’s younger than I am o_O)

And, perhaps shockingly enough, I liked a male-fronted act this year? No, not Felix, lmfao - “Boys With Emotions” was a walking seizure and that’s merely refering to the bit you could hear. No, I am of course taking paypur’npenn, riding u leddersh about everyone’s favourite granny magnet:

Victor Crone - “Troubled Waters”

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The years have been kind to the memory of Victor Crone because I was looking forward to seeing him in Melfest. Fortunately, he did not disappoint either. “Straight Guy Kui Tuuled Pöörduvad” was the perfect recepticle for Victor Golden Retriever-like personality. He was fun, good and most importantly, harmless. I’M ON MY WAYYYY THRU TRAWLED WAAAAATERSH. 😍

Freaky Friday Factor

In Melodifestivalen 2020, Sweden literally produced the most anti-Melfest Melfest everrrrr. To a point that it makes 2019′s DISGUSTING RESULTS (reminder: four female acts, all of which were good, were the bottom four, over fucking GARBAGE such as Nano and Bishara 🤢, might I add.). SO YES, I am happy the backlash forced Christer to specifically put together a Melfest that would always crown a female winner, and then his pet fave lost, and then the fan fave ALSO lost in two shocking upsets is just the icing on top. Good job on entertaining me, Sweden, your reward is four Senheads.

I LOVE MY TOP 14!!! YAY!!!

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2020 #Sweden #The Mamas #Move

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fizzip0p · 4 years ago

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Favorite Kurt? Rank Season 1,2,3,4,5, or 6? And why?

Hi! Oh boy. Easy!

Season 4 is my favorite Kurt. He FINALLY got out of Ohio! He's THRIVING at Vogue. THAT HAIR?! That WARDROBE?! He wins fair and square against Rachel fucking Berry in a SING OFF?????? But not before SLAPPING HER DOWN WITH THE HAND OF GOD ABOUT DEFYING GRAVITY SOPHOMORE YEAR. Befriending Santana and making pacts with her?! Going through his first heart break and rising above it while forgiving and remaining friends with Blaine?! And also finding the courage to ask a guy out FOR THE FIRST TIME! My guy! THAT SELF-CONFIDENCE GROWTH IS JUST, MMMM!!! More of this please. More, more, more! Also good for him for getting into NYADA? They didn't deserve him, but he's happy so that's all that matters.

Then we have season 5 Kurt. His confidence continues to grow but he's also proving that he has faults during his growth period still (assuming Elliott is going against him for one thing - Kurt please, not everyone is out to get you). But he's still proving he's still not a helpless lamb who mindlessly goes along with things gladly like some people portray him as. He has dudes fawning over him (and me, I'm right there with them) so he's getting the hot damn recognition he's been owed for a while. He gets challenged with his relationship, and we actually get to see how he (and Blaine) handle it and CHEFS KISS. GIVE ME THAT ANGST AND GROWTH WITH FURTHERING THOSE STEPS AFTERWARDS, DUDE. YES.

Season 2 Kurt. Not AS sassy as season 1, but still proving he is stronger than he looks and can dish it well. Goes through hell to whole new extents of his bullying, but rises above in the end and is FINALLY HAPPY! He got to go to New York and fly on a plane for the first time! He got his first boyfriend finally! He got a new step-mom & step-brother! Good for him! And he discovers different hair styles that don't make him look as cherub, my boy is growing up into a MAN. Also, kurtcedes reigning supreme still.

Season 1! It's the sass for me. The comebacks. The 'I'm better than you, move' attitude that gets him through the day. The angst is beautiful as well. Also, CHEERIO KURT & FOOTBALL PLAYER KURT IN THE SAME SEASON. Also all the Kurtcedes. All of it.

Season 6 Kurt! HE. WENT. TO. THERAPY. He got his happy ending. He got a kid. He got married (not in a barn officially tho no fuck you glee writers, unacceptable. Where the marriage licence at? No where. It didn't happen officially here. Literally how the law works. Next). He's successful. He's winning at life. (Except with the hairstyle of the middle part and just Kurt no, that's why he's bumped down this low - that damn middle part. Kurt please). Could care less about returning to Ohio (though he is a better teacher than Rachel as he offers actual advice to Jane and Mason, instead of immediate validation which I am into). Walter exists, Kurt Hummel has a sugar daddy confirmed though so, good for him. Make him buy you all the things, dude. You deserve it.

Season 3. This isn't Kurt's fault. This is the writers fault for deciding he can't have anything this season. No lead in the play. No acceptance into college. No school presidency for you! Oh and someone is going to try and come for your man and belittle you constantly about how you're not good enough for him because you look like an old woman who dresses like a woman because lol original insults are original - did you guys know Kurt looks and sounds like a woman???? Also, your attempt at being supportive and encouraging is going to be shot down over a rendition of a straight guy singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! And you know the guy that sexually assaulted you, caused you terror, and gave you PTSD your entire sophomore/junior year while also threatening to kill you? Well, because you're a good person, he has decided he's in love with you now because you've shown him kindness like a human being. Then he's going to get upset when you reject him - because how dare you don't leave your boyfriend who just had eye surgery for HIM?? Ugh, Kurt, you're terrible! Let's make you feel MORE terrible by making YOU feel the guilt of your past bullies attempt at taking his life after you rejected him!! YAY! BOUNDARIES?! What boundaries?! Fuck boundaries! YOU SHOULDVE BEEN CONSIDERATE TO HIS FEELINGS, even if he hasn't been considerate of yours clearly up til this point. Not to mention - Kurtcedes who?! No, no, that doesn't exist this season. You're Rachel Berry's best gay this season and you only matter if it involves her now, okay? Okay. By the way, everyone needs to be reminded that you're GAY. Did you guys know he's GAY?! So gay, look at all the rainbows and unicorns. So gay Rachel wants to see her best gay in a bridesmaids dress too because he's GAY GUYS! He's soooo jealous that she's getting married her senior year of high school and he isn't because ugh he totes could get married in Ohio at that time right?! Besties4life!!! He has no other purpose except to be Rachel's BEST GAY!!!! Oh yeah, and he has a boyfriend but eh we won't focus on them too much - maybe...three episodes total. AND ONE OF THEM INCLUDES FIGHTING! Yes. Good. Only good thing to come out of this - you getting to be a lead vocalist in one competition! YAY! About time! Yep. That's all season 3 Kurt is. But he still looks good and has amazing performances as it's the season with my favorite Kurt solo. He's just background footage majority of this season if it doesn't involve Rachel so, there isn't much growth just pain. What a good senior year for him. Wow. I hate it. Return it, try again.

#Kurt Hummel #anti hummelberry #answered #I'm just really against season 3 - I went all the way off I JUST KEPT REMEMBERING HOW BAD IT WAS FOR HIM #just ew season 3

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griffxnnage · 4 years ago

Note

hey! Congrats on your 100 followers WOO YOU'RE AMAZING<3

I would like to request a harry potter ship please? :)

I'm a straight girl, a Gryffinpuff (but my gryffindor side always takes over lmao) and a saggitarius. I am really competitive and sometimes that can come off as a bit rude oops hehe. I'm also really shy around new people but if I spend a lot of time with them I become more comfortable and usually really loud and giggly, I literally can never take almost anything siriusly (I had to😂). I love dancing, drawing and playing the guitar. I love spending time with my friends, watching movies and reading books.

Also happy new year's!! Here's to hopefully a better year and more deserved recognition for you hehe🤧❤️✋

thank you so much, darling! omg that last sentence made my heart so happy 🥺🥺! just a heads up for other readers, they also requested a marauders ship and a marvel ship! without further adieu...

i ship you with fred weasley!!

the competitiveness between you is strong. always trying to one up each other, and both of you winning in your own way.

fred trying to be sirius (ahaha) but you just bursting out laughing, only to have him break, which would just end up with both of you on the floor, clutching your stomachs.

him seeing (and falling in love with) the shy side of you, and helping you through anything that might come your way.

you two jamming out while you play guitar as he dances like a maniac around the burrow.

i ship you with sirius black!!

him just putting up his hands in defeat whenever you sass it up, not wanting to get in the way of your superiority.

having him read to you while you gently strum on an acoustic, delicate fingers creating beautiful music which mixed wonderfully with his voice, harmonious even.

watching old classic rom-coms, cuddled up on the couch, swaddled in blankets and just being happy in the company of each other.

i ship you with peter parker!!

trying to ‘outquote’ each other on ‘old’ movies, and him eventually winning, jumping on the bed after his victory.

“hah!! take that, y/n!” “yea, i’m surprised you won,” “i find your lack of faith,, disturbing,” “oh my gosh, peter,”

him daring you to play thunderstruck on guitar, and you actually being able to do it, blowing his mind.

“holy shizz! you actually know some led zepplin!” “uh, peter, you know that’s ac/dc, right?” “wait, what?”

cuddles in graphic t-shirts and fuzzy pajama pants while empire strikes back plays on his little laptop.

i hoped you liked it! have a great new years eve/day!!

join my 100 follower celebration!

#fred weasley x reader #sirius black x reader #peter parker x reader #ship requests #le-weasley-simp's 100 follower celebration

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conaionaru · 5 years ago

Text

Woman’s game (Ivar the Boneless)

The Cripple and the Drunk

Synopsis: During the feast before Bjorn’s raid to the Mediterranean, an ally joins them for celebration. One Son of Ragnar Lothbrok catches the eye of the Earls daughter.

Warnings: Ivar, mentions of raiding, drinking, sass, smut, choking, dirty talk (kinda), praise kink (cause we know Ivar needs some love), talk of impotence, slight homophobia at the end

I don’t own the gifs. The family tree is made on the MEWHO? phone app. Great app 10/10 would recommend^^.

The laughter of drunk Vikings was so loud one might have thought there was no music. Yet the celebration was more prominent than usual. After all, one of the Queens, sons is leaving for his first raid. Two sons of the legendary King Ragnar are going to discover unknown lands just like their father did before he became unforgettable.

So a grand celebration to properly say goodbye and thank all their allies was in order. Aslaug sat behind a table with her sons, and Bjorn rounded the room greeting people. "The great Queen Aslaug. You have not aged a day; if it weren't for your sons all grown up, I would think you were still the same." The voice belonged to a woman in a dark blue gown with her dark hair tied up. She sauntered over to them and smiled at the Queen of Kattegat. "It is an honor to see you again, my Queen."

"Earl Ylva, what a surprise to see you." Aslaug mussed, staring at the woman before her. The last time they saw each other, Ragnar went to Paris for the first time. Ylva and her husband joined Ragnar because of their thirst for glory, only for the man to lose his life, and Ylva take his place as Earl of Yugar. The female never got her revenge on the Franks and instead stayed in her Earldom with her children. And now she is back acting as if she did not spit in Ragnar's face the last time she saw him.

"Bjorn, send a messenger asking me if I wanted to come. I did want to ignore it, but my sons would not listen." Ylva confessed her face, a mix of anger and pride.

Aslaug perked up at that and leaned closer to Ylva, offering her a seat near her. "So, you bought your sons with you?"

"I bought all of my children with me. All six of my vicious beasts." The older woman laughed before finishing her whole cup in one sip. The Ragnarsson looked at her in shock. They faintly remembered her from when they were children. She was very protective of her children, especially since she lost her husband. They knew she had many sons. Yet they never knew the exact count.

"So, you have six sons?" Ubbe asked curiously, looking the woman over. She didn't look like a mother of six; she had a few faint wrinkles on her face. Yet no hint of a worn-out mother of a pack of 'vicious beast'.

"Gods, no. Only five. The sixth is my daughter. Thank the gods for that." Ylva laughed, looking at Aslaug with a raised eyebrow. "Sons are alright, but what I wanted from my marriage was a daughter. But apparently, I had to push out five little menaces before I could finally rest. I take it, you understand; you do have a lot of sons too."

Aslaug smirked at that, taking a sip of her cup of mead. "Oh, I do understand—blessings and curses at the same time."

Ivar frowned up at his mother, offended. "Am I a curse, mother?" Aslaug looked towards her youngest son and smiled at him kindly.

"Of course not." Ivar grinned at that answer while Sigurd scoffed only for Ubbe to shush him. A man walked by them trailing behind a pretty girl with auburn hair and a dark dress with a flower pattern. He looked angry as he spat curses at her for ignoring him. The girl then spun on her heel and looked at him, one eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips.

She swirled the liquid in her cup around as she made the man uneasy with her stare. "I am not interested. There is nothing..." Her blue eyes trailed up and down his frame stopping at his crotch. "Impressive about you. You would be a waste of time. Now leave."

Hvitserk choked on his drink, while Ubbe smirked at the cheeky female. The insulted man stomped off, muttering how she was an ungrateful whore. The girl looked at the two mothers behind the table and smiled. "Mother, I have been looking for you all over. My Queen, Prince's."

After bowing, the Ylva's daughter sat down next to the Earl and smiled at the Queen. "If you keep scaring away every man, I will never get rid of you, love."

The auburn-haired female smirked at that and let out a fake laugh. "I don't scare every man away, Mother. Only the ones that dare to speak to me." She trailed her keen eyes over the people around the table and looked at Margrethe. The blonde thrall looked miserable sitting next to Ivar. "Men are such bores. Women, on the other hand, are more exciting. Fewer problems with them." She studied the pretty thrall who blushed under her gaze. She was shamelessly flirting with the other girl.

"Love." Warned Ylva disapprovingly, angered by her daughter's attitude around the royal family.

"Don't worry, mother. I didn't swear off men just yet." She looked around the room and frowned at a group of men eating mushroom while in a burping contest. "Unfortunately."

"You must be Ylva's daughter," Aslaug called out, watching the pretty girl who had all of her sons, expect Ivar, staring at her in awe. Despite her earlier anger, the Earl smirked in pride and pulled her daughter closer.

"Aslaug, this is my pride and joy, Skuld." The young girl smirked at the introduction and said, " What a pleasure it's to meet the Queen of Kattegat.

"Skuld is the name of the goddess of destiny. So are a Valkyrie also?" Hvitserk teased flirtingly, making the girl look over her shoulder and lean closer to him.

"I do sometimes have the desire to send people to Valhalla. But I am no goddess, my Prince." Skuld teased back, making Ubbe laugh at his brother's attempt.

"You are quite a beautiful girl, Skuld. You must have many suitors." Aslaug voiced, thinking of engaging the girl to one of her sons. She interested the Ragnarssons, and an alliance with a strong shieldmaiden and the Queen of Kattegat might come in handy.

"Oh, I do, but they never stay for too long," Skuld explained, making a thrall refill her empty cup.

"With how pretty and smart you are? Why would anybody want to leave?" Ubbe took his turn, trying to woo the newcomer. The Earl's daughter turned in her seat to face him better and locked their gazes together.

"That is very easy to answer, my Prince." She leaned closer, making Ubbe do the same. "I... have a terrible personality." She burst out laughing, making Hvitserk laugh at his older brother in return. So Ubbe hit him over the head for good measure.

A cup slammed against the table, startling them all. They turned their heads towards the sound source to see Ivar glaring at Skuld with a terrified Margrethe by his side. "You are so annoying. You must not have gotten a lot of attention as a child, going around charming and insulting men."

Everybody looked at him in shock while Skuld laughed at his attempt to insult her and sipped from her cup. "Oh no, I got plenty. I just got addicted to it. But you must know all about that, my Prince."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ivar hissed back, glaring at her with all his might. He looked like a rabid dog ready to murder his prey at any moment.

"What do you think it means?" Skuld teased her voice like honey while she leaned over the table, showing her cleavage to the angry Prince.

Ylva pulled her daughter back by her arm and looked at her with a raised eyebrow, trying to remind her who she is talking to. "How many cups have you had, love?" Skuld looked at her mother with a face void of any emotion before smiling at her kindly.

"Not enough if I am to spend the whole night here." She whispered back before gracefully standing up and looking at the Queen. "It has been a pleasure meeting the woman who charmed the legendary Ragnar Lothbrok, and your sons, of course. But now, if you excuse me, I must go annoy other people."

And with that, she left the table to refill her cup and mingle with the crowd of drunken Vikings. She could see some of her brothers standing around drinking, boasting, or flirting their way thought the feast. She loved feasts as big as this. She could easily go around drinking the night away without her family breathing down her neck about her behavior. Her mother tolerates a lot but from her children, but her patience wears thin whenever they make fools of themselves before essential people.

'The great shieldmaiden Ylva the Bold. The woman who killed more men than her late husband. As brave as a lion with her six cubs ruling over Yugar as she deserved. How many bards sing praises of her glory.' What a load of bullshit it was. Her mother was a strong woman, yes. But she was nothing unusual in Skuld's eyes. She knew her since birth; she was fed by her, bathed, played with her. Ylva the Bold was a mother first, then she was an Earl and shieldmaiden second.

Her children didn't carry their father's name, for it would get no recognition anymore; he died an honorable death fighting on foreign soil alongside Ragnar, Lagartha, Bjorn, Halfdan, and Harald. But their mother's name held more power. They were Ylvassons and Ylvasdottir to everyone. So they used those names with pride. Afterall they were lions too, and lions fear no one.

"Hello." Rolling her eyes at the man's audacity, Skuld turned around to be greeted with a tall, handsome man before her. He had fiery red hair like fire and the greenest eyes she ever saw. "My name's Njord. I couldn't help but come over; your beauty is just so... intriguing."

Skuld smiled at the handsome stranger and took a step closer to him till they were chest to chest. Or chest to stomach in her case. "I am Skuld Ylvasdottir. It must say you are intriguing as well. Where are you from?"

The man was obviosly flattered by her compliment by the way his chest puffed up in pride. Or the smirk that he now wore on his face, as if he did some remarkable deed by getting her to talk to him. Truth is Sklud liked to play with her victims before she rejected them. It was more fun that way, to build up their confidence only to see them burn and crumble afterward.

"Ylvasdottir. So I did get to talk to royalty today, after all. And here I was concerned I would be ignored today. Have you come to say goodbye to your family? Or you secretly a shieldmaiden yourself?" He was charming; she had to give him that. But Skuld had better things to do than to talk to a man. Discover the bottom of the mead barrel, for instance. Maybe if she got drunk enough, she would look for him.

"Oh, I am no shieldmaiden. My mother likes to say the only weapon I wield is a sharp tongue. I leave the bloody messes to my brothers; they take more joy in it than I. And you? Only saying farewell or going away too?" She hid her lips behind her cup to cover her smirk before his forest green eyes.

The redheaded Viking pulled her to his side by her waist and looked down at the surprised girl. "I am sailing away, of course. Make a name for myself. I arrived with Harald Finehair, and I will come back alive and famous. The Ragnarssons will envy my success, and women will throw themselves at me. " And al the possibilities of sleeping with him were gone now. He spoke of glory as if it was so easy to gain. If it was that simple everybody would be famous and well known. But fame demanded sacrifice, sometimes too high of a price to bear. And yet this man though he would gain it by sailing alongside better men than him. What a fool. He would come back to Kattegat as a corpse.

"So that is why you are talking to me? To see if I will throw myself at you right now?" She questioned her tone of voice, giving nothing away. Deep inside, she already hated him, but she was taught to hide her distaste behind polite smiles and fake laughs—anything to please the simple-minded warriors that could become useful one day.

The Viking shook his head and put his large hand on her face, caressing her smooth cheek with affection. "I don't want to offend you. If I did, please forgive me. I just couldn't help myself; you are the most intriguing girl I have ever seen. I had to talk to you, even if I am not famous yet. But I am strong, intelligent, and kind. I would be perfect for you."

She wanted to throw her drink at him or slap him. Who does he think he is? She wasn't drunk enough to deal with a man too full of himself, touching her without permission. Luckily for her, she spotted her mother in the crowd talking to Harald, Halfdan, and Bjorn. She took the overconfident Viking by his arm and led him towards the group. Skuld made sure to sway her behind a little bit so he would look at it instead of where she is guiding him.

"And she said yes? I am surprised by that." Bjorn said, looking at Ylva, who chuckled at his teasing tone.

"Oh, I was as surprised as you are. But I won't complain, it does make things easier this way. No need to worry now." She explained watching Halfdan, who stood a little to close to her for her liking. But his attention was caught by something else instead. A thin arm wrapped itself around her upper arm.

"Mother, I was looking for you. Prince Bjorn, what an honor to meet the oldest Ragnarsson." Skuld leaned against her mother to steady herself playing it off as affection, but by the fake laugh her mother let out, she knew the truth. "Let me introduce my friend, Njord. He is certain he will become so glorious at the end of your journey that even you will envy him."

The bear-like Viking looked at the shorter redhead with one lifted eyebrow. All of Njord's earlier confidence was gone as he stood there looking like he will piss himself at any moment. He excused himself and ran off as Bjorn, Halfdan, and Harald laughed.

"Must you always terrorize the poor men, sister?" Her older brother Brandr walked towards her and pulled her off their mother's arm. He dressed up for today; he was trying to find himself a wife with no luck. He didn't like that three of his older brothers were already married. So here he stands in a red tunic with his dark hair neatly brushed.

"It's their fault if they get handsy. If I led him to Gunne, he wouldn't have any hands anymore." She said back, glaring at her annoying brother. They always patronized her because she was the youngest and the only girl. Whenever she behaved as they would, they would scold her as if she was a misbehaving child.

"Well, then humiliation sounds better. I apologize for my warrior. He is very young and foolish, but he is a good fighter." Harald said, looking the young girl over. She took after her father, like most of Ylva's children.

Skuld looked at the man who wants to be king of all Norway, and then her eyes trailed to his brother. She smirked at how close the man stood by her mother and looked back at Harald. "No worries. I am sure he will make excellent arrow fodder. I wish you all the luck in your journey; you will need it if you surround yourself with men like him."

Brandr rolled his eyes at her and reached for her cup. "Give it here; you have had enough!" Skuld pulled her arm back and glared at him with all her might. Which was a lot considering she is Ylva's daughter. Bloodthirst and death threats were hereditary in their family.

"You touch my cup, and I will bash your head in with it." She hissed, making the group freeze. Ylva reached out for her daughter, who has been acting far too strange this evening only for Skuld to sidestep her. "On second thought... Take it. It is empty anyway." She trusted her cup into his chest, making him glare back her with the same amount of hate.

The auburn-haired Viking took a few steps away from them but change her mind and turned back around to look at Halfdan. "You touch my mother, and I will torture you until there is nothing left to bury." She mockingly bowed to them all before looking at her mother with a small smirk on her lips. "I am going to get some air. Goodnight for now." And then she walked away and out of the Hall.

Skuld leaned against a wooden pillar and watched the dark city while laughter and drunken shouting echoed around her. Her head was pounding, and she wanted to scream in frustration. "Have you come to insult me again?"

She looked over her shoulder at Ivar, who glared up at her. He crawled out of the feast to get some air, but it was just his luck to meet that rude whore again. "You are not that special woman." Skuld chuckled at his venomous words and looked back at the city, ignoring the crawling Prince behind her. She closed her eyes, trying to silence the noises in her head and taking deep breaths.

"You are to stay with us while everyone's out raiding." Ivar pointed out all of a sudden, making her chuckle.

"I am well aware, thank you. Why do you think I am drinking. I am trying to destroy my reputation so that you will send me far away. Preferably home. And it seems I have succeeded with you." Ivar snorted at her explanation and swung his legs over the edge of the wooden floor below them. Skuld slowly sat down next to him, sighing as a cool breeze swept by them.

"It did not work. You will stay here. Unfortunately." Ivar mocked, looking out at sea. He had a lot on his mind since his father came back. He was to leave for England with him, so luckily, he wouldn't have to spend time with the annoying girl.

"I told my mother I would throw myself off the nearest cliff if she leaves me behind. All she said was that it is a great honor to stay under the Queen's protection. How ridiculous. No offense to your mother." Skuld spat out before collapsing back on the floor, causing Ivar to look at her as if she lost her mind. She laid on her back, her arms spread out with her feet dangling over the edge of the floor.

"What are you doing?" Ivar asked, annoyed by her ridiculous behavior.

"Sobering up. I am in no mood to bed someone, so instead, I am out here with you. Which does nothing good for my pride." She said, playing with a strand of her hair twirling it around her finger over and over.

Ivar glared at her and slammed his palm down next to her face leaning over her like a snake ready to strike. "If you are so disappointed about spending time with a cripple, then go jump off that cliff. You are not wanted here anyway." He spat the words in her face making her flinch and wipe his spit off her visage with disgust.

She looked into his stormy eyes and raised one of her perfect eyebrows at his attitude. "I meant your personality, not your affliction. Now get off me before you give me ideas, and I take you to bed."

Ivar wrapped his hand around her throat and squeezed her neck, cutting off her air. Skuld gasped out softly and wrapped her smaller hand around his, yet she didn't try to pry his hand off. "That doesn't help you at all." She whispered, her eyes hooded and darker before slowly licking her pink lips. She raised both of her eyebrows at him, daring him to take the invitation and kiss her. Yet Ivar only let go of her neck and glared at her.

He crawled away, muttering underneath his breath, making her chuckle and reach out to him. She rolled over onto her stomach and called out to him. The youngest son of Ragnar looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. "Don't leave, my Prince. The night is still young." She seductively drawled out her breasts, nearly falling out of her dress as she raised herself onto her hands and crawled over to him on all four.

Ivar watched her move, not breathing as the pretty girl stalked towards him, licking her lips once again. Skuld stopped when they could feel each other's breaths in their faces. She looked at his lips and then into his eyes, she smirked at the dark look in her eyes and kissed him. Ivar's hand wrapped around her throat again and pushed her away, making her whine in annoyance. "Stop it." He ordered only for her to pout.

"Stop playing around. You are so annoying yet interesting at the same time. Do you not want to bed me? Am I not your type?" She asked softly, trailing her fingertips down his neck.

Ivar snarled and let go of her neck but didn't leave. So he was interested after all. "Go fuck somebody else."

"What if I don't want to fuck somebody else. I am not interested in those drunken fools inside, or your pestering brothers. I want you, Ivar the Boneless, son of Ragnar Lothbrok." Ivar rolled his eyes at her seductive tone, making her sign at his stubbornness. She liked the challenge, but usually, she had to fight men off, not fight for them.

"Why? Never fucked a cripple?" Ivar mocked as Skuld sat back on her knees, watching his chest rise and fall. She shook her head and fixed her necklace and hair, so if somebody walked out, she wouldn't look too ridiculous.

"That has nothing to do with it. I like people with sharp tongues and brains; you aren't the silent type, and I don't think you are stupid either. Otherwise, I would be naked already. So what about me is putting you off? I will not pressure you anymore; I am just curious." Skuld explained her auburn hair falling over her shoulder as she trailed her finger up and down the floorboards.

"You are annoying; that's why." Yet his eyes betrayed him. He was looking at her cleavage, and his fists were clenched in anger.

"You are nervous."

"I am never nervous."

"Is it your first time?" Skuld questioned her head tilted to the side, trying to find out why the boy before her kept resisting her even though he wanted to sleep with her. She wouldn't force him if he didn't want to, but she was curious why he fought her so much when he kissed her like a starving man before he pushed her off.

"It is not my first time." Ivar spat back his nails, digging into his palms. He snatched her wrist and yanked her towards himself. Skuld crashed against his chest, but he steadied her by putting his arm around her waist and kissing her once again.

When they pulled back, Skuld looked deeply into his eyes and softly chuckled. "If it's not your first time, then why are you nervous?"

Ivar ignored her question and kissed her again, his arm around her waist tightening painfully. Skuld put her hands on his shoulders and drew his closer before she pulled away to catch air. "I am not going to fuck you here. So either move or let go."

Ivar let her go and led her to his chambers. The wooden door closed behind her as the fire in his room burned brightly, ridding her of the coldness she felt before. Ivar climbed on his bed, looking uncertain. But when he opened his mouth to tell her something, he was met with her naked frame, her dress around her ankles.

Skuld slowly walked to him, but when she saw the wavering confidence, she stopped her advances. "You sure you want to? I won't say anything if you say no." Ivar swallowed but put his hand on her hip and caressed the smooth skin there.

"I did try before. But it didn't work. " He explained, reminding her of somebody who confessed to breaking something. She smiled at him and kneeled before him. She put his face between her hands and looked deep into his eyes.

"We can try if you want to. Maybe she wasn't that pretty, or you were too nervous. If you don't want to, we can stop. I could leave, or we can just talk instead. Your choice, Ivar." The Viking looked at her face before bringing her into another kiss. He stroked Skuld's skin roughly, which made her moan. The moans were exaggerated as his hands were a little bit too rough and inexperienced for her taste. Yet the sounds of pleasure gave Ivar more confidence, which made Skuld happier.

He kissed her neck as she trailed her hands over his hands that stroked her sides. She pushed them towards her breasts instead, hoping he would get the hint, which he did. Suddenly he pulled away snarling in frustration. He took off his gloves that protect his hands from the ground when he crawls. Skuld kissed his neck while he fondled her breasts in fascination, all of a sudden, she didn't have to fake her pleasure.

She rubbed her crotch against his, hoping to feel him get hard, yet nothing happened. She frowned at that and tried a different approach. She bit the spot where the shoulder meets the neck, yet all it got from him was a growl and a harder grope. Skuld trailed her hand down his stomach and took off his tunic. She then ghosted her fingers over his skin, goosebumps following her. The auburn-haired Viking kissed, licked, and bit his neck while she massaged his tense shoulders.

Short gasps and breathy moans left Ivar's lips, while he focused on touching Skuld. He knew what she was trying to do, and the fact that his cock was still soft angered him. It's like with Margrethe all over. Yet Skuld didn't give up.

"You want to know why I wanted to bed you?" Skuld whispered into his ear, her voice breathy. Ivar swallowed hard and softly nodded as the bit his earlobe. "Your face. Those piercing eyes, that jaw those lips and gods your hands."

She kept whispering and moaning into his ear, flattering him with every word. He liked the sound of her voice like this, the seductive tone laced with pleasure and need. Ivar especially liked the meaning behind her words, no jests or mean words, only things that made his chest swell in pride.

Skuld ground her crotch harder against him and smirked when she felt him harder. "I have met many men, but none like you. I see your future, Ivar Lothbrok. You are to be a significant man, loved by many, and feared by more. You are a legend in the making. Not because of your father, but because of yourself. No one will ever forget you."

Ivar gasped and froze when he felt himself grow hard he pulled her back by the hair, as Skuld moaned at the roughness. He looked into her eyes in awe, yet the girl only smiled at him. "What's wrong, my Prince? Are you not enjoying yourself?" She teased before he kissed her again. She lowered his breeches with his help and sunk down on him. Ivar froze at the tight heat around him while Skuld whined into his ear, praising his size and grith.

The auburn-haired female braced herself against his shoulders and moved on top of him, biting and sucking on his neck. Ivar gripped her hips in a bruising grip, but Skuld said nothing about it. She would have to lay off bedding anyone for a while.

Again she pulled away from his neck and looked him in the eyes; they were hooded with pleasure as his lips trembled in need. Skuld liked the look on him; it was a nice change to the earlier anger and arrogance. Suddenly he wrapped his hand around her throat, making her moan out loud and tighten on him. When Ivar lost his concentration, did she cover her small hand around his throat too and looks him in the eyes. She pressed her thumb against his artery and smirked. "Like that, I don't want to die tonight."

Ivar fixed his grip on her neck as she advised, he trusted against her movements while she clung to his shoulders as he finished before her. Yet Skuld followed soon after when he tightened his grip on her neck. They collapsed against the furs of his bed, both breathing heavily with blissed-out expressions on their faces.

"See. I was right; she wasn't good enough." Skuld teased, rolling off him and ready to leave the bed. But Ivar's hand on her wrist and his pleading look made her stop. She sighed and laid down next to him, pressing his face against her chest and stroking his arm. Ivar relaxed in her embrace and breathed in her pleasant scent of flowers and sweat.

"Then, I suppose it's a good thing you didn't bed her instead," Ivar mentioned as Skuld chuckled at his jealousy.

"I suppose you are right. Lucky me. Or you?" She teased, wrapping her leg around his, but Ivar hitched her limb higher so she wouldn't feel his thighs against hers. Skuld didn't mention that she did feel them when she was on top of him, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Do you always bed strangers while drunk?" Ivar asked, not meaning it in a wrong way. He wanted to know if he was one in many or special.

Skuld drew runes on his arms as she thought enjoyed the calm atmosphere around them. "Sometimes. Sometimes women, sometimes men, sometimes both if I am feeling adventurous."

Ivar paused at her carefree tone, rolled off of her, and looked at the smirking female. "So, you really bed women?" Skuld stopped her ministrations and propped her head against her head as she laid on her side.

"Of course. Who knows a girl better than a girl? Or a man knows a man." She explained, smugly recalling her first experience with a woman—the little daughter of a farmer with doe eyes and short hair.

"That's stupid. A man with a man is stupid." Ivar spat, making Skuld look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"How come when a woman beds a woman, it's sexy and exciting. But a man beds another man, it's wrong. What are you a Christian? My brother bedded a Christian man once. He said their God didn't like that." Skuld argued the lightheartedness from her voice gone. She could take a lot, but a jab at her family was unforgivable. The only one who could do that was her.

"Your brother beds men? Then he is not a real man. What pleasure is there is taking it up the arse like an animal?" Ivar hissed at her, glaring at the annoying girl that would live with them for a while. Yet Skuld didn't flinch at his anger. All she did was frown at him with her lips in a tight line as her blue eyes grew cold like the fjords.

"How could you judge if you didn't try it? They both seemed happy, so why should it be wrong? Haldor beds men because he enjoys them. Nothing wrong with that. You enjoy women; some enjoy both, some neither. Don't be so narrow-minded, Ivar. Women had been some of the best fucks I ever had. So heed your word." Skuld hissed back and rolled over the bed, ready to leave again. "The people of Yugar don't care who fucks who as long as you don't throw it into their faces. And we are just an Earldom, how come the greatest trading city in all Scandinavia is so ignorant?"

Ivar rolled his eyes at her rant and glared at her naked back. "You are not allowed to leave." He ordered seeing her slip her dress back on. Skuld looked at the seething Viking with a teasing smile on her lips and kneeled on the bed before him. She crawled towards him on all four and boxed him between her arms, with her breasts pressed against his chest.

"I don't like being ordered around. Neither do you. So do us both a favor and be quiet. And I will lay back down and stay a little bit longer. What do you say, my Prince?" Ivar looked into her in awe and slowly nodded, his mind fogged over with her tempting words. And so Skuld laid down next to him, hiding her pleased expression behind her locks of hair as she laid her head on his chest.

#Vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar lothbrok #ivar x oc #OC #original character #original female character

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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years ago

Text

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!!

Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no.

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is.

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too.

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended

“my boy” AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~

HOYYYYYYT

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD

brewing insanity.....

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~

the moon is a silver dollar...

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass....

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk

someone needs to teach you social interactions...

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL

bestest party clownnnn

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross???

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg

good luck getting me out of it pfffft

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE

givin me ideas....

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT

gonna put people off their food doin that

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the -

erika.exe has stopped working

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I -

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT -

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it

“kill the rich” lmao relatable

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though

sleepy bb ~

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh...

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense...

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears?

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me...

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down.

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out.

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers.

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ???

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~

dancing towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown......

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

#erileck #self-shipping #lmao this was fun

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