#he definitely steals remus' shirts to sleep in

[http-wolfstar]

Sirius in all his different flavours <3

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

A Balancing Act

There were so many wonderful prompts that I couldn't fit them all in here! Thank you so much to everyone who submitted one :)

Read on Ao3

Warnings: bruised ego, panic attacks, touch starvation

Pairings: none

Word Count: 6556

It starts, as do most things, in the Imagination.

Deep beneath the surface of the world, buried in layers of implication and mystery, lies a set of scales. Perfectly balanced? No, never, but always in a state of equilibrium. It operates on a set of rules far older than the theories of physics that govern the Waking World—that is, what most would refer to as Reality, outside the bounds of the Mindscape—for science is an intersection of math and literature and magic is a science based on a math most esoteric. Its golden rule is simply thus: whatever gives must be pulled, and whatever pulls must be given.

The scales must always hang. The scales must always be.

In the middle of the night, when no one will notice, Remus turns on his convincing loop of his own sleep noises—grunts, sloshing, the occasional rustle of bed covers—and sinks into Roman's room. Roman is awake, sitting on the edge of his bed, tying and untying the same knot in a length of rope as he stares into nothingness.

"Sorry," he mumbles as soon as Remus comes to sit next to him, "I'm…trying. I just can't seem to get anything…more."

"It's okay, Roro, I'm not mad or anything. I honestly thought it was kinda cool."

Roman huffs a laugh, only mostly filled with humor. "I figured you would. I mean, it's way more of a you idea, isn't it? Having the entire tower suddenly become as flexible as rubber and threaten to kill everyone inside?"

"I'm not gonna try and summon Janny at this point of the night, I'm definitely stealing it for my next video game dungeon idea."

"I'm glad at least one of us is getting some use out of it."

The humor dissipates quickly as Roman's fingers keep working unsteadily at the knot. Remus reaches over and rests his head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of Roman's breath ghosting over his temple as he wraps his arm around Roman's waist. "Are you doing okay otherwise?"

Another sigh. "I don't know, Remus. I don't—I haven't had the energy to know how I'm doing which I think is answer in and of itself, and every time I try to actually do something about it, the Imagination knows that I'm not—that I can't—"

Remus gives him a squeeze when his breathing starts to pick up a little. Roman winces and he sits up right away. "Are you bruised again?"

A suspiciously long pause. "It's nothing, Re—"

"Bullshit." Remus storms to the bathroom and returns with the first aid kit, tossing it on the bed. "Lemme see, Ro-bro, I'm not letting you get away with being bruised to hell and not letting anyone take care of you."

"Re," Roman almost whines, but he sets the rope aside and starts fiddling with the hem of his pajama shirt. "I'm—it's really fine, it's not even that bad this time."

"I'll be the judge of what's 'that bad,' thank you very much. You're not allowed to evaluate your own injuries after you hid broken ribs from me for almost a week."

"I was sort of proud of that, actually. Hey!" He yelps as Remus tugs on his hair. "Not the hair!"

"So lemme look at you. Come on."

"You're so demanding." But off comes the shirt and Remus has to begrudgingly admit that it's not actually that bad this time. A light smattering of yellow and a dusting of blue along Roman's side, probably just enough to make him wince if someone presses down on the right wrong spot. "See? It's fine. It'll probably fade by morning."

"You can't blame me for being suspicious, though."

"No," and Roman's voice gets all soft and gentle for a moment, "I don't. Thank you, Re. I…"

"No need to get too sappy, Roro, the night's still young."

"Yeah, maybe by your standards."

"I always go by my standards, because my standards are right," Remus remarks as he goes to return the first aid kit at a more reasonable pace, "how you should be treated better, how the others should know about some of this stuff—"

"No."

"But Ro—"

"No, Remus," Roman says, voice suddenly cold. He puts his shirt back on and hunches his shoulders. "We both know that them knowing isn't going to be a good idea."

"They care about you, Ro—"

"Evidently not!"

"But they don't know about it!"

"Yeah, because I've tried opening up to them in the past and all it's gotten me are insults, badly veiled pity, and the promise that it will be used against me at the first time it's convenient for them! I'm not going to give them an even more detailed guide of 'Press Here to Hurt the Prince!'"

Remus is quiet for a long moment and Roman sighs.

"You're thinking of how to make that into some sort of weird carnival game for your horror country fair, aren't you?"

"Only slightly—"

"I knew it."

"—but I'm also worried because you're my brother, Roman," Remus says quietly, coming over to sit next to Roman again, taking his hands and giving them a squeeze, "and I don't like seeing you hurting."

"But you know I'm right."

"…but I have a feeling that your instincts may be accurate."

Roman's brow quirks in amusement. "You've been spending more time with Logan, then?"

"Yeah. We, uh, we have an experiments lab in the mad scientist part of that big old spooky mansion you and I made when we were younger and it's…it's really fun, Ro, you should come hang out with us."

Roman chuckles, smoothing his thumb over Remus's scarred knuckles. "I don't think me and experiments would be very fun for all of us, but I'll happily partake in quests to gather the more obscure resources you might require. I'm sure you could convince Logan to take a small break for such an excursion in the future?"

"Ooh, a quest with an actual party! That might be fun. We'll have to think about that more tomorrow after we get some rest," he says pointedly when Roman looks eager enough to keep going now, only to chuckle at Roman's disappointed face, "hey, you're telling me—I'm being the reasonable one here and I'm exhausted already."

"Restoring balance to the universe, then." Roman leans forward to rest his forehead against Remus's. "Thanks for coming to check in on me."

"Hey, you're my brother. The entire world could be turned upside down and back to front and that'd still be true."

"Is that your way of saying you're always gonna be there for me?"

"Just like I know you will. And yes, before you ask, I'm enjoying imagining the others being surprised we're like this too."

"Just checking."

Remus ruffles Roman's hair. "Get some sleep, okay, Roro?"

"You too."

***

Roman wakes up cold.

Well, no. That's not quite right. He wakes up in agony that he can only bear to keep to himself because he's too cold to have the energy to move.

The first thing he registers is the pain. Deep, bone-weary agonizing pain that feels like he's been locked in a suit of armor that is being tightened, slowly, half-turn by half-turn of a screw. A noise threatens to escape his lips before he presses them tightly together, managing to roll onto his back.

He's on his side—or he was on his side. There's a soft rustle and a weight that indicates a covering of some kind. Blankets. He's in a bed. A bed he doesn't recognize in his state of delirium. The pain becomes enough of a dull roar that he can move his head, looking around at a blurred and darkened room. The barest sliver of light comes from a window just off to the side, behind his head, exposing the dark red of the covers slathered across his body. It stretches away into the darkness as though it were an ocean of blood, a tug of renewed pain reinforcing that as his neck cries out for release. Already exhausted, he lets his head flop back down onto the pillow—pillow, right, that's what it is.

He closes his eyes. It isn't often that he has nightmares as visceral and violent as this. To his—shame? Relief? He doesn't know anymore—it's been so long that he doesn't quite remember what he's supposed to do about it.

Behind his eyes flash aftershocks of his own screams of pain, his own bitten whimpers and whines as pain explodes along his body. He flinches away from the memories on instinct and the blood-red covers jostle with him. He remembers the darkness, the too-bright light, the pain, the waiting, and the voice.

The voice, taking observations and notes in a clinical, detached tone, ready to aim the next caustic remark to paint black and blue and purple across his fragile skin.

He knows it's probably a bad thing, to have nightmares about his fellow Sides. He knows it's probably not healthy, indicative of much larger problems between them—and for Thomas. He knows the best thing to do is probably to talk about them with the Sides in question so they can move forward together.

But bruises ache in a way that not many other injuries are capable of, and Roman has always, always been so, so sensitive.

He sees one last terrifying glimpse of Logan's face, a twisted curiosity pinned to him as though he were a bug to be displayed, and turns the idea away. He won't give it any sort of excuse to come true.

***

"No, no, no, we're not going over this again."

"On the contrary," Logan sighs as Virgil groans, slumping against the railing, "it seems that is exactly what we're going to do."

Janus rolls his eyes and examines the tops of his gloves, brushing away imaginary specks of dirt. "I don't understand what the hold-up is here, Patton, it's not as though we don't have endless possibilities for what we can watch for movie night."

"I'm just saying we can do better than getting them illegally! Thomas has access to streaming services, we can just ask one of his friends for their password—"

"Password sharing?" Janus mock gasps, holding his hand over his mouth. "Patton, didn't you know that's also illegal? The streaming services don't want you to do that! They want you to have your own account!"

"But that doesn't make any sense!"

"That's his point, Pop Star."

"But by all means, Patton," Janus continues, adopting a sickly-sweet tone that quickly morphs into one of disdain the longer he keeps speaking, "if you'd prefer to get the movies legally like a good little servant of this capitalist hellscape and contribute to the erasing of public ownership of storytelling by allowing corporations to scam us by 'selling' us copies of media that we can never actually permanently have, then by all means, let's keep looking."

There's a pause. Then Patton snorts. Soon everyone's laughing at the sheer ridiculousness—and accuracy—of Janus's little monologue. He holds his hands up. "Alright, you've convinced me."

"Thank you." Janus preens a little. "I always did think there was more validity in such arguments once you add just a little bit of flavor."

"Okay, if that's what you call a little bit of flavor, I'm never coming over for dinner again."

"Why, Virgil—"

"Nope." Virgil holds up a finger. "'Cause, see, I always thought it was weird that we went through spices so quickly over there when the ones in this kitchen have lasted for months—"

"I'm not sure Remus is entirely free of blame in this case," Logan remarks wryly, "in any case, thank you, Janus and Patton, for coming to an agreement. Now that it's all settled, shall we proceed with movie night as planned?"

"Works for me!"

"Yeah, I'm all set now."

Janus simply waves his hand in an 'of course' gesture. Logan glances around. "Alright, then—and Roman? You're all settled?"

He sees Patton and Janus visibly jerk, as though they'd forgotten he was there. He smiles a little weakly from his corner. "Yeah. I'm all good."

"Okay, I'm gonna admit something I really didn't think was possible," Virgil mumbles, fiddling with his hoodie strings, "but I genuinely forgot Princey was here and was just about to ask L what he was talking about."

"Gosh, I think I did too! I'm so sorry, kiddo, I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay."

"You better watch out, Princey," Virgil laughs, "pretty sure J's gunning for your spot as Thomas's theater kid Side with monologues like that."

Roman forces himself to laugh with everyone else—well, almost everyone. Remus shoots him a concerned look that he only nods back to, I'm fine, it's okay, as a bruise blooms warmly along the underside of his ribs. Thankfully, his little exhale disguises himself as part of the laugh as Janus starts preening again. Still, the words linger over his skin as they settle in for movie night, wriggling their way up from his stomach to the tip of his tongue.

During a loud part of the movie, he turns to whisper to Janus. "Hey."

"Hey," Janus whispers back, "you doing okay? You need us to turn it down?"

"What? No, far be it from me to keep you from enjoying something. I was just—I was just thinking. I have a proposition for you."

"Oh?"

"Did you, um, do you have any interest in learning how to fence?"

Janus fully turns to look at him, surprise painted in the many colors from the screen. "Really?"

"Yeah, I think you'd—"

"You know how to fence?"

A smaller bruise, colored mostly by the surprise, but a bruise nonetheless as Roman makes himself hold the smile. "Yeah, I know how to fence. I think you'd enjoy it."

"Yeah, yes, Roman, I think I'd like that very much." Janus blinks, surprise settling into something more akin to excitement. "I'm—well, I'm grateful you've finally noticed me as someone worth spending time with."

It's a tease, it must be, and yet the bruises ache no less at the implications. "What can I say, I need to make sure Thomas's theater kid Side knows everything."

Janus takes it as a joke. He usually does when it comes to things like this, which is why Roman knows he can get away with it right now. While Janus is distracted, high on the energy of winning the argument and the general daze that comes from being invested in a good movie with friends. Where he doesn't have time to realize that this isn't a lie, it's the truth, and if he uncovers that then this has a lot smaller chance of this actually working.

But Janus doesn't notice. And Roman can breathe a sigh of relief when no more bruises blossom across his aching chest.

***

The scales tip further and further to one side. The Imagination responds, growing wilder and crueler as the woods thicken and the rivers deepen. The skies grow darker, the wind colder. In the center of an old castle ruin, a garden that has lain untouched for years begins to wither. A single rose petal flutters to the ground.

***

He's grateful for the excuse of training Janus how to fence. That way, he has a reason to wince and smile sheepishly when the bruises covering him reassert themselves. Then again, as with most things that work in Roman's favor, it's a double-edged sword. Wow, Janus must be improving quite a bit, then! He's getting good enough to put you on your ass already, Princey? It's a good thing you've found a sparring partner that challenges you, then. Can't wait to fight, Snakey!

And then new bruises will spring up and the cycle will begin anew.

Janus is, in all honesty, quite an excellent sparring partner. His movements are fluid, graceful, no doubt in part due to his snake-like traits, and he internalizes the key lesson Roman teaches him on their very first day. It doesn't matter how quickly you get somewhere so long as you arrive at the right time. Slow is steady. Steady is smooth. Smooth is fast.

"I'm curious," Janus asks once day while they're taking a break, sipping from a water bottle and eyeing Roman over the top, "why fencing?"

"What, am I not fulfilling all the stereotypes as you wished?"

"Most knights don't fence, not all swordplays are alike." Roman waggles his eyebrows and Janus rolls his eyes, smacking his shoulder. "That's not what I meant. You grow more like Remus everyday."

He's grateful that his entire body is covered when a light smattering of purple decorates the insides of both of his arms. "I like fencing. It's all about timing."

"You mentioned."

"I don't know, I think—you know, like with most stories. It's all about getting the pacing right. You can't rush into the narrative, you can't force the plot, it has to sort of…happen on its own. Your job as the storyteller is to make sure the pace is right so the story has the most impact."

Janus's eyebrows raise higher and higher the longer Roman keeps talking. "Careful, there, you're getting dangerously close to being insightful."

"Hey! I'm a storyteller, shouldn't I know my own craft?"

"I suppose so."

"You suppose—what is that supposed to mean? Oh, shut up," he grumbles when Janus makes a smug expression, "I'm not falling for that again."

"I believe you already did, dear prince."

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever His Highness commands."

Roman rolls his eyes and turns around to hide the flicker of genuine hurt behind putting his water bottle down. "Come on, then. If you've got enough energy to bully me with words you can do it on the mats."

"You'll make me think you like being pushed around."

"Believe me," Roman says darkly, "you have no idea what a glutton for punishment I'm turning into."

***

"Hey, Remus?"

Remus pokes his head out from the massive gorgon corpse he's butchering, draped in all sorts of gore with a manic grin on his face. Virgil mumbles a quiet sure, why not as Logan adjusts his glasses. "Friends!"

"Hello, Remus," Logan greets, "we were wondering if we could have a moment of your time."

"Sure. Gimme just a sec to finish up with this thing and I'll be right with you."

"Is there, uh, somewhere we can wait that's less…entrail-y?"

"Go over the hill to the back, that's where the big shed is. I'll be in there in just a moment." There's the whirring of some sort of machinery that no one quite has the patience—or stomach—to name as a spray of something wet and squelchy-sounding hits the ground on the other side of the carcass. Virgil and Logan glance at each other before making a strategic and somewhat hasty retreat to the shed.

True to his word, Remus shows up a few minutes later, wiping the remains of something off of his hands with a rag he tosses into a wash barrel on the porch before coming inside.

"My two favorite Left Brain Boys, how can I help you today?"

"We've come about Roman."

Remus sobers immediately. He runs a hand through his hair and pulls a stool closer, sitting down and immediately tapping his fingers against his thighs. "What is it about him?"

"He's been bad," Virgil blurts out, hands bunched in his hoodie pockets, "like…really bad. Worse than normal bad."

"I got that much."

"He's been distant during brainstorming," Logan says quietly, "and I'm not sure—I do not know enough about it to understand what I can do to help."

"He won't talk to me about anything that isn't meeting or food related anymore. I can't even get him to complain about stupid plot twists that don't make any sense."

"He's stopped writing in his notebooks, at least where the rest of us can see."

"He's not even singing as much anymore, Remus, it's bad."

"I know." Remus's quiet admission startles them into silence. He's still tapping out a frantic rhythm, eyes darting from beaker to chart to specimen as the silence grows fuzzier and fuzzier. The wind whistles through the holes in the shutters. "Believe me, I know."

"My apologies," Logan says after a moment, "we didn't consider—at least I didn't consider that you would know Roman better than we would."

"No, no, I didn't—fuck, shit, sorry, Remus."

"You guys don't have to apologize to me. Ro's—Ro's not having a good time right now, yeah. And I'm…not helping."

"What do you mean, you're not helping? You're always there for Princey."

"Yeah, but not—okay, shit, look, I'm actually—I need to check with Roman before having this conversation."

"What? Why? Is there something wrong that we shouldn't know about?"

"It's just—to explain why—you know what? No. We're gonna do the short version of this conversation where you guys ask me questions and I tell you what I can. I'll talk to Roman later."

"We don't mean any harm," Logan starts to say, but Remus waves him off.

"I know. It's not about that. It's about me making sure I don't fuck up Ro's boundaries."

"I get that." Virgil shuffles a bit on his stool. "So can we—can we ask you stuff now?"

"Go ahead."

"Princey's been off ever since the wedding. Is—is that accurate to say?"

"Yeah."

"And it seems like it's not—like, it sort of seems like it's getting better, but it's not, not really. He's still been really down and upset and it's—it's getting really hard to like, talk to him about things. I'm just—is there something else we don't know about Roman that's making this harder?"

"Yes."

"Are you…gonna tell us what it is?"

"No."

"Okay, I guess that's fair."

"Would I be correct to say," Logan asks, "that Roman's struggles are related both to the wedding and to additional factors?"

"Yeah."

"Would it be accurate to say there is something unique about Roman that makes this situation significantly worse?"

The corner of Remus's mouth twitches. "No."

"Amended question: is there something unique about both yours and Roman's relationship to the Imagination, the Mindscape, and Thomas himself that makes this situation significantly worse?"

"Where the fuck are we, in court again?"

"Do you see why Janny didn't want Logan to be part of it if he was gonna win?"

"Answer the question, please, Remus."

"Yeah, Lolo. You're right. And we're not in a court room, which means I'm not bound by any of those stupid fucking rules and I will tell you that you're walking a dangerous line over there."

"Forgive me. I'm not trying to pry into Roman's business—okay, I'm not just trying to pry," he amends hastily when Remus glares at him, "I want to help. But I need to understand in order to help."

Remus sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know you guys want to help. But Ro…fuck, okay, this is the only piece of info you're getting from me about this that isn't gonna be just an instruction on what to do, but Roman…Roman really isn't good about letting people help him."

"Why?"

"He lets you help him."

"I'm his brother. I'm exempt and can make him let me take care of him."

Logan looks like he wants to argue for another second before he makes himself take a deep breath and adjust his glasses. "Thank you for telling us, Remus. How…how can we help?"

***

"It's getting worse." Patton confides in a whisper as Janus leans into his side. "I don't know what to do."

"There's not much we can do if Roman doesn't let us."

The irony of this conversation is not lost on either of them, not when the expression Roman wore when they glimpsed him all but fleeing back to his room is still in the forefront of their minds. They'd tried everything Remus had suggested, all of it: letting Roman have a say in what they watched for movie night, what they had for dinner, what they talked about when they all hung out in the living room just for the sake of it. They'd tried asking about his projects, expressing enthusiasm for things they didn't love for themselves but they loved because Roman loved them, even just asking Roman if he was okay, if he needed anything.

And Roman just kept falling further and further away from them.

"I don't know what to do," Patton confesses, prompting Janus to reach up and card a hand through his hair, "Roman's so quiet now, he's so small, he's not—Roman's not supposed to be small."

"He isn't," Janus agrees, "he's supposed to be our larger-than-life prince. I don't…I don't know how to fix this."

"If I'd known that it was going to be this bad, that the wedding would cause something like this to happen—"

"Don't play the 'what if' game, Patton, it never ends well. It's not—" Janus sighs— "believe me, as someone who's spent too long wallowing in the guilt of how badly my actions have hurt others when I truly didn't intend them to, it's not worth it."

"But I don't know what else to do! Roman's hurting, Janus, and I don't know how to fix it! I'm supposed to know how to fix it, we all have to take care of each other, and Roman's not—he's not letting us!"

"I know," Janus whispers, pulling him closer, "I know."

"What do we do?"

"The only thing we can do is keep trying and hope that Roman realizes how badly we want to see him alright again."

So they do. They try, and they try quite desperately to make sure Roman knows how much he is loved and how they care for his happiness. Roman, their wonderful vibrant prince who is greyer than any can remember him being. Roman, their songbird who hasn't sung a single note in weeks. Roman, who once could light up a room simply by appearing within it who has relegated himself to silent corners where their eyes long to skip over him. They don't know what to do. Roman is fading right in front of their eyes and nothing they do seems to have any effect on it whatsoever.

Remus is getting worse. He's more frantic, more hyper, more exaggerated. His ideas grow more and more frenetic, his experiments wilder and less restrained. The Imagination grows dangerous and chaotic as rules break and remake themselves over and over. The doors are soon locked and barred lest something try and escape and only the brothers can safely enter its depths without fear of getting lost in the storm. Remus tries to keep himself contained there, just because there is so much energy brimming within him that it would be catastrophic should it leak into the Mindscape proper, but Roman…

They're losing Roman.

Desperation makes fools of us all.

They have a meeting. They ask Roman what's going on. They try to be gentle. They try to tell Roman how much they care. They try to show that it's all coming from a place of love.

And Roman, their precious, lovely, wonderful, incredible Roman, collapses into a heap of tears.

***

The break comes. It's horrifying, tragic, and so very beautiful. The scales are upended, one side swinging wildly towards the heavens as the other shatters free from one of the links holding it aloft. The Imagination screams.

***

"Please—please—just tell me what you want, I can't do this anymore, I can't—I can't—" Roman's hands tangle in his hair and pull— "don't do this to me, I'll never—I can't—don't fucking do this!"

"Ro, Ro, you gotta calm down—"

Roman flinches away from Remus's touch, even as the others back up to give the brothers more space. His sobs run his breathing ragged, each inhale more pained than the last as they echo around and around the room. Remus swallows and reaches out again, carefully prying Roman's white-knuckled grip free.

"Ro-bro, it's me. It's just me. You know I'll never hurt you, right?"

"I don't understand, Re—"

"Shh, shh, hang on, breathe first. Don't try and speak, it's gonna be okay."

Sobs choke themselves free from Roman's lips as Remus coaxes him forward, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and pulling him nearly into his lap. He sets Roman's head in the crook of his neck and keeps murmuring reassurances, stroking his hands up and down his brother's spine.

"Remus—"

"I'm right here, Roro. Don't you fall away from me, not again."

"I can't do this—"

"You can. You have to, Ro, I can't—I can't hold all of this by myself, you know I can't. Come on, just breathe with me, okay? I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. You're gonna stay right here, with me, and we're both just gonna breathe and let this even itself out." For indeed, Remus is trembling too from the force it's taking to restrain his nails from digging into Roman's back. Even now, there is too much energy thrumming inside him, two vessels forced together and it's not sustainable, none of this is. "I'm right here, Ro, you gotta let me be here for you."

"It hurts, Remus," comes the whisper against his neck, "it hurts so much and I don't know how to make it stop."

"I know, Roro, I know."

"I can't do this anymore. It's too—I can't. I just can't."

"You need to let us help you, Ro. I know, I know," he says, quickly hushing Roman when he cries out in pain again, "I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I can't!"

"I won't let them hurt you, not again. I promise." He tightens his grip. "Just—just hold on for me, okay?"

"I'm so scared, Re. I'm so scared."

"I know. Me too."

The two of them stay like that for a long, long time. Long enough for the room to grow cold as the sun goes down, long enough for them to start to shiver from having expended so much energy just to stay in each other's arms.

"Here," Logan says softly, so softly so as not to startle them, "I have a blanket for you."

"Thanks, Lolo."

"Of course."

Roman eyes him warily as he approaches, blanket held out unfolded between the two of them like a peace offering. Logan offers him the gentlest of smiles and drapes it over them. He retreats to a safe distance where the rest of them are, still watching, still waiting.

"You stayed," he croaks, throat weary from overuse.

"Of course we did, kiddo," Patton murmurs, "we were so worried."

"We wanna make sure everything's okay, Princey," Virgil agrees, slumping down a little to make himself seem like a smaller target, "that's all."

Janus, scales glimmering from his bare hands, wordlessly holds up another blanket.

It takes another long pause for Roman to nod, but he does nod, and perhaps that makes all the difference.

***

"Come in, please," Logan says, smiling when Roman shyly knocks on his door. He steps aside so Roman can shuffle through. "Sit wherever you'd like."

"Even on your bed?"

"Even on my bed."

Roman looks at it, clearly tempted, before he decides to only partially push his look and sit on the floor, his back against the bed. Logan just chuckles and comes to sit next to him, getting comfortable before holding out his hand.

"It's not a trick," he says when Roman just looks at it, "will you let me hold your hand?"

"Why?"

"I'd like to." When that just gets him another look, he lets out a small sigh. "I'm…concerned that in my failure to realize how much you were struggling, I've cultivated a relationship between the two of us that is a great deal more adversarial than it needs to be. I'd like to amend that by offering you comfort, both emotional and physical. So…I'd like to hold your hand."

"…oh."

"But if that's something you're not comfortable with yet, I understand."

"N-no, I didn't—I didn't mean—" Roman splutters for another second before he puts his hand in Logan's—well, he more lets it flop in his direction like Logan might take it back if he lets it go for too long.

"Thank you, Roman." He covers it with his other one and pulls it into his lap to cradle it gently, raising an eyebrow at Roman's noise of surprise. "What?"

"I, um…didn't know that's what you meant."

"Is this alright?"

"U-um…yeah. Yeah, it's…it's okay."

"I'm glad." His thumb strokes soothingly over Roman's still-trembling knuckles. "Can I ask you something?"

"Aside from that?"

"Yes."

"Sure."

"Are you…is it possible that you're touch-starved, Roman? Shh, shh, easy," he soothes when Roman tenses immediately, "my apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"I—um—I don't—"

"No tricks, Roman, I promise. I'm only asking because I want to help. Here: is it easier to just nod or shake your head?" Roman nods. "Alright. Can…are you?"

He nods again, his mouth twisting up to hold back a sob. Logan quickly squeezes his hand, still stroking over his knuckles.

"Thank you for telling me, though I am sorry to hear it. If…if it's alright with you—and please know you can say no or shake your head and I won't bring it up again—may I help?"

He likes to think that the work they've put in to making it easier to spend time together without it feeling like a fight or an interrogation is what makes Roman nod. He's unable to keep the grateful smile from spreading across his features, nor the way he scoots a little bit closer so their sides press together.

"Thank you."

They sit together like that for a long while. Long enough for Logan to start running his fingers up and down Roman's arm, long enough for him to squeeze his hand when Roman's grip shivers and shudders, long enough for Roman's head to drop onto his shoulder, breathing heavily.

"That's it," he whispers, turning his head so his nose brushes Roman's hair, "you're doing so well. It's alright. Is this still okay?"

Roman nods.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he can't help himself from asking, "I would've helped, I would've done this earlier."

"…I was scared."

It's not a surprise to hear, not truly, but Logan can't stop the slight pang of hurt. Quickly, he moves past it; Roman has been so terrified of asking for help for so long, he will not give him the opportunity to be further hurt by this. Instead, he carefully lifts Roman's hand to his lips and presses the smallest kiss to his knuckle.

"What were you scared of, little one?"

Patton had always warned him about asking questions, said at some point he might learn something he wished he hadn't. This…is not one of those times, as he does not regret learning about Roman's terrifying nightmares, but he does…ache.

"If ever you need to be reassured that something like that will never happen," he manages, voice slightly hoarse with Roman's confession, "please, little one, let me know."

"I don't think it'll happen anymore."

"Perhaps not logically, but fear is rarely logical." Roman shifts, caught out, but Logan doesn't give him time to murmur an apology. "It's alright, I understand, and my promise stands."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do, Roman."

***

"Go on," Roman whispers when Janus, Patton, and Virgil don't say anything for too long after he's explained himself, "just get it over with."

"May I hug you?"

His head snaps up. Janus is looking at him with that foreign soft expression again and he—he can't have heard that right.

"May I hug you," Janus asks again, holding out his arms, "please?"

"I—um—sure?"

Janus stands and hurries—hurries?—over to wrap Roman up in his arms, pressing a kiss to his temple and Roman is confused but Janus is warm and solid and there are more hands than he expected and he's—he's going to cry again, isn't he?

"You're gonna overwhelm him, J."

"Too late for that, I think," as Patton and Virgil come closer too, "oh, kiddo…I'm so sorry we didn't know about this sooner."

"I know that was on purpose, Princey, but…" He runs a hand through his hair. "Shit, I didn't—I didn't know we were—that you—fuck, I didn't know we'd fucked up that badly, I guess."

Roman glances at Patton, who looks so upset that he doesn't even call Virgil out on his language. "I didn't know how," he manages, just as Patton reaches up to brush a tear from his cheek.

"You shouldn't have had to go so far for us to notice, and that's on us."

"But I should've said something—"

"But you didn't to try to keep yourself safe," Janus interrupts, his own voice thick with tears.

"…yeah."

"Will you tell us, now?" Patton wraps an arm around the part of Roman's waist he can still reach. "If we do something that hurts you?"

"Don't feel like you have to promise something if you don't think you can," Virgil adds when Roman looks even more terrified at the thought, "just…know you can tell us, okay?"

"Okay."

"There's no replacing you, Roman," Janus says, leaving no room for argument, "not at all."

"Not even with your monologues?"

"Not even with my monologues."

"Can we hug you too, kiddo? Please?" Patton has to keep himself from beaming when Roman nods, quickly ducking over to wrap his arms around both him and Janus properly. "Oh, kiddo, I'm so sorry."

"Move over, Princey," Virgil teases gently when Roman tries to lean against the wall, "I'm the one who gets to cuddle you, not the wall. Hey, hey, shh, it's okay—c'mon, let's all be a puddle on the floor, okay?"

"I like floor puddle plan."

"Me too."

Roman is crying too hard to say he agrees, but he thinks the boneless way he slumps into the embrace is as good as anything else.

***

"Hey, Remus?" Roman whispers in the middle of the night as the rest of the Sides slumber around him, curled up on the massive mattress with fluffy blankets and soft pillows.

"Yeah?"

"You were right."

And because Remus is a good brother who loves Roman so very, very much, he doesn't even hold it over his head. He just smiles, leans over to bonk their foreheads together, and tells his brother to go the fuck to sleep.

***

A new chain holds the scales together, forged in longing and heartbreak and strife, borne of an old magic far more ephemeral than whimsy and fantasy. Tendrils of roses curl up the sides of a golden dish, affixing it to links of courage and loyalty. The Imagination heaves a sigh of relief. The sweet smell of petrichor wafts over the exhausted landscape.

The scales stand balanced once more.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[noblehouseofgay]

HIHI HELLO i see u've asked for asks and so i shall ask :] (i wrote a lot so OBVIOUSLY u dont need to answer all of them if u dont want to)

i cannot think up proper fully fledged questions so

WOULD U RATHER:

tea party with the marauders OR with the skittles OR with the valkyries (i think thats what they're called?)

take arithmancy OR ancient runes classes

take divination OR astronomy classes

beat up snape OR give a character of your choice a hug

WHICH DO U PREFER:

sirius in moony's sweater OR remus in sirius' leather jacket

the rosier twins with dreadlocks OR without

jily/flowerpott OR jegulily OR marylily OR pandalily OR marypandalily (yes ik its a lot of options im sorry 😭 basically just which lily ship)

partyvan OR rosestarkiller OR jegulily (as crack treated seriously)

barty's patronus/animagus being a raccoon OR a hyena :0

sirus being genderfluid OR identifying as a guy but loving to express his femininity (especially thru his clothing and hair)

WHICH IS MORE CANON (not literally bc yk):

the fact that james wore red converse OR that moony wore doc martens OR that sirius wore leather jackets

the fact that sirius stole remus' sweaters or that reggie stole james' shirts

the fact that marlene thought effie was hot OR that reg thought monty was hot

autistic regulus OR adhd james OR bipolar sirius

lily only being friends with snape at the very beginning of first year before realising he's a bigot and ending their friendship OR lily being a snape apologist all the way up until year 5 (?) and trying to ignore the fact that he's racist until she can't anymore and becomes his Biggest Hater TM

OKI THATS IT UH MAKE SURE TO DRINK WATER AND SLEEP BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Fuck yes this'll get me thinking

1 tea with the skittles for sure. I'm the most like them, plus tea with pandora sounds amazing

2 ancient runes

3 astronomy!!! I genuinely love astronomy, plus the astronomy tower is my favorite

4 hug!! I need a hug from james. So fufkign bad. We both need it anyway

1 siriis stealing moonys sweaters <33

2 I can go either way with the twins hair but I do love them with dreads. I think pandora is constantly changing her hair, you never see it the same way twice

3 pandalily!!! Ugh I'm obsessed with them rn. Genuinely they're so special to me. Etherreal gfs. I do enjoy marylily and marpanlily too tho

4 hehe I love his patronus being a raccoon. Tho hyena is such a fucking good one. But I love his being a raccoon and evans is a possum bc they kinda match

5 both! Genderfluid sirius my beloved, but in the way they he does not give a shit. Bitch wears whatever tf they want all the time. But if someone sees him just as a dude that's perfectly fine. I just think sirius would hate being restricted in how they express himself

1 obviously leather jackets but I looove the red converse

2 Reggie stealing james shirts. You give me anything jegulus and I'll pick it <333

3 HA ok marlene definitely wanted to fuck effie. All james friends had a crush on his parents you cant change my mind

4 autistic reg my beloved

5 I think she really really tried to see the good in him, but he just kept getting worse and worse ans she decided it was b3tter for herself to leave

TYSM FOR THIS genuinely making my time stuck in the airport better <333

[loganslowdown4]

I’m gonna attempt to break this down and point out all the stuff in the guys’ rooms for the newest episode because there’s a ton of Easter eggs in here and it’s fun to compile a list!

🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸

And I’m a complete nerd 🤓

Ok let’s start off with

PATTON’S ROOM!

* Ernie plushie (Sesame Street) in homage to LNTAO

* Light blue dad pyjamas

* Chocolate (baby Pound Puppy plushie) from Moving On

* Winnie The Pooh quilt

* Reindeer plushie bean baby from the 80s (I literally used to have these)

* light blue Cat poster

* Orange tabby cat statue (he loves cats, ok?)

* Mrs Fluffy Bottom (bunny plushie from Prince vs Villain short)

* The creepy glowworm from babyhood

* ‘You make me want to die.. of laughter’ misleading compliment card from Virgil from the 12 Days of Sanders Sides (Xmas)

* His glasses

* A plate with a cookie (and a second cookie because he earned it)

* Framed photo of friends (combats the lonely feelings)

* Catholic Youth Bible (from swearing Oath in SvS)

* Braided friendships bracelets in the Roman Virgil and Logan’s colours

* Embroidery thread to make more friendship bracelets in his, Janus and Remus’ colours

* Pizza plushie (from opening shot Thomas saying ‘YouTube Time’)

* Light blue lamp

* The smell of Christmas (in a box!) from Moving On nostalgia episode

* Stitch plushie from opening scene ‘YouTube time’

* Plus the room has the glittery quality that his room did in the moving on episodes

ROMAN’S ROOM!

* Red plush blanket and red silk pillow case fit for a prince

* Red/pink full face cooling sleep mask for beauty sleep

* Wearing his (Beauty and the) Beast onesie from ATHD

* Up poster (part of his 101 Disney poster collection) (plus it mentions ‘adventure’ which is what Roman would want to dream about)

* Glitter/sparkle aesthetic in his room magically flying around; also a soft rainbow glow overlay

* STAR THINGIES (he got them back from the echo-y mind palace)

* Reading Lord of the Rings (TFOTR) (red and white cover!) plus dudes on an adventure with a king and hot elf? It does scream Roman, doesn’t it?

* Plus multiple bookmarks so he can reread his favourite parts (or find parts that the other sides would like)

* Oh hey Katana

* Little Roman fan made wooden dolls

* Pictures from skirt PS, 80s PS, selfie as Prince from vine days

* Sticky notes (red): YOU GOT THIS PAL! (either from himself or Patton); WWLOJD? (What Would Leslie Odom Jr Do?) plus a picture of the man himself (a crush? 😏); Take Dance Classes AGAIN (is this in reference to Thomas can’t dance? ‘I can box step with the rest of them! 5 6 7 8 no need to demonstrate!’)

* Scented candles for sleep

* REMUS omg was I right about them sharing a room? Hahaha he steals a star thingie because he knows Roman loves them

* Roman Youtooz toy from last year

* Lavender sprays for sleep

* Moisturizer for skin care (a prince has got to slay)

VIRGIL’S ROOM!

* Dark aesthetic from Accepting Anxiety episode

* Purple and grey bedding

* Watching a Jack the Ripper conspiracy video on his computer (re: what videos he would make if he had his on YouTube channel from Q&A)

* Green Day t-shirt (specifically American Idiot album) (also featured album on wall in Accepting Anxiety episode)

* Plain purple sleep hoodie (the man cannot be without a hoodie)

* Whiteboard with ‘# of days since last total disaster: 5’ but who knows what his definition of disaster is…

* Black dry erase marker for whiteboard

* Cobwebs on night stand

* MARCUS! Plushie spider

* Patton’s FamILY card

* Huge (almost empty) purple bottle of melatonin (used to aid sleep)

* Book for Grimms fairy tales (decidedly did NOT swear on his ‘bible’ from SvS)

* Nintendo switch

* Not sure what the things standing up are? Maybe candle/lights?

* Also a mood light off to the side

LOGAN’S ROOM!

* The periodic table on the wall with rainbow colours (that’s just perfect)

* Dark blue dad pyjamas and eye mask (probably for a proper nights sleep) plus he replaces his glasses with an eye mask

* Dark blue matching bed sheets because UNIFORMITY

* All the plushies! All of them. I think he needs the most comfort

* Gravity Falls journal #3

* Another self insert fanfic from Roman! (Possibly not the Sherlock one that Roman wrote for Christmas because this is thinner and has different stickers on the cover, but ahhhh that’s so SWEET)

* Blank cue cards for new slang words to learn

* A FINISHED Rubix cube

* His glasses

* A crossword day by day calendar

* A blue alarm clock 11:30pm? (although it’s pretty late, Logan, is that really a good sleep schedule?)

* An empty jar of crofters (because they are so darn collectible)

* A 10th doctor funko pop (and a Tardis underneath all the plushies!)

* A blue mood light behind the plushies

* And he has a Clapper lol

THANKS FOR READING EVERYONE!

[engie-ivy]

Sirius often steals Remus’ jumpers, but must he wear the one James spilled Amortentia all over? Surely he must've smelled that? Sirius has no idea what they're taking about. The jumper just smells like Moony?

Sweeping

“For Godric’s sake, Prongs!” Remus jumps up and glares at James.

“I’m sorry,” James says sheepishly. And he is. Mostly because it was hella difficult to knick a vial of Amortentia from Slughorn’s cabinet, and now it was all for nothing. Also a bit because Remus’ favourite jumper is now drenched in said potion.

He had stolen the Amortentia as part of his plan to win over Lily Evans (not to dose her with it, he’s no creep, thank you very much), to find out what she smells, so he’d know what she loves the most and could use that knowledge to impress her. Remus is close to Lily, so James had asked his help in having her smell the potion, and he had animatedly been explaining his idea to his friend. A bit too animatedly. Hence Remus’ Amortentia-soaked jumper, which now smells like a combination of the polished wood of a broomstick, his mum’s baking, and the flowery scent of Lily Evans, at least to James it does.

Remus grumbles irritably as he pulls the jumper over his head and throws it on his bed, before taking a clean one from his trunk. “I hope for your sake the House Elves can get the smell out. I don’t particularly fancy walking around smelling like everyone’s greatest desire.”

“Might do wonders for your popularity,” James grins, as he follows Remus out of the dorm, intending to accompany him (and Lily) on his prefect rounds. He supposes he just has to resort to his irresistible charm to woo the girl.

When they return to their dorm later that evening, Sirius is lying on Remus’ bed, wearing Remus’ jumper, while idly flipping through a magazine. In itself nothing weird. It’s a very common occurrence for Sirius to wear one of Remus’ jumpers while hanging out in their dorm. He thinks they’re much more comfy than his own clothes. Why that jumper though?

“Padfoot,” Remus says, rolling his eyes. “Why’d you have to wear that jumper? The entire student population is already pining after you, no need to make it worse.”

Sirius frowns. “What’re you talking about?”

“Don’t you smell that, mate?” James asks.

Sirius sniffs at the jumper and shrugs. “I don’t smell anything strange. It just smells like Moony, like all his jumpers do.”

Oh. James looks from Sirius, to Remus, and back to Sirius while the words sink in. Oh.

“I don’t get it,” Remus says, not having caught up yet. “I can smell the Amortentia all the way over here! The jumper was drenched in it. How come the Amortentia isn’t working on you? How come you’re only smelling me? How can you not-” Remus snaps his mouth shut and his eyes widen.

There he is, James thinks.

Sirius’ cheeks colour as he quickly pulls the jumper over his head and scrambles off Remus’ bed. “Eh, well, I’m sorry. Gotta go to sleep anyway. Good night, lads.”

And with that, Sirius disappears between the curtains of his own bed, leaving behind a contemplative James and a very, very confused Remus.

James is sitting in the common room with his friends and, to his delight, Lily. Well, it’s more like Lily was already sitting there and when James joined her, she didn’t pack up and leave. Which is definitely progress if you ask James!

What isn’t progress, if you ask James, is Remus and Sirius awkwardly sitting next to each other, Sirius studying his fingernails, Remus fiddling with the hem of his shirt, only giving each other a polite smile from time to time.

“So you’re really going to pretend it never happened?” James asks, never one for subtlety. “You cannot just sweep this under the rug!”

Remus glares at him. “Seems like we were doing exactly that just fine until you brought it up.”

“Sweep what under the rug?” Peter asks curiously.

“Sirius smelled Remus in Amortenia,” James replies casually.

Lily shoots up. “He smelled who now in what now?”

Sirius is blushing again and doesn’t say anything, so Remus speaks. “It’s not that big of a deal, okay? You’re supposed to smell what you love in Amortenia, aren’t you? So it makes sense to smell your friends, and as it was spilled over my jumper, I guess the strongest association was with me.”

Sirius whips his head towards Remus with wide eyes. “What? Moony, no. I am in love with you.”

“You’re... What?” Remus says, dumbfounded. “Then why have you been sweeping it under the rug?”

“I thought it was kinda obvious how I felt,” Sirius says. “The next step was up to you. I figured you would’ve said something if you felt the same, and otherwise... Well, that would’ve said enough in itself, right? Why did you sweep it under the rug?”

“I thought you couldn’t possibly feel more than friendship!” Remus exclaims. “I thought it’d be silly to get my hopes up...”

“For Godric’s sake, Moony! I smelled you in bloody love potion ! How could that- Wait, hopes up? Do... Do you mean you feel the same?”

“Obviously. I mean you’re... you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They sit in silence for a moment.

James eventually scrapes his throat. “Luckily, there was someone with no patience for rug-sweeping, or waiting for the other to say something.”

“Shut up, Prongs,” Sirius and Remus say at the same time.

“One more suggestion,” James says unfazed. “Since you both just kinda confessed your undying love for each other, shouldn’t you... you know, go stare lovingly into each other’s eyes on top of the Astronomy Tower, hold hands on a romantic walk by the lake, or snog in an empty corridor, or something like that?”

“You’re a meddling twat,” Sirius says to James, while he takes Remus’ hand to pull him up from the couch. “But sometimes, you make excelling suggestions.”

[badfvith]

dating post azkaban sirius black would include:

Request: Hiii! Would u do a dating post Azkaban Sirius???

A/N: im not crying who’s crying. i hope you guys like this one!! <3

warnings: mentions of smut!

after azkaban, it would take sirius some time to get fully back to his normal self

you would definitely help to speed up that process though

you & remus kept in touch over the course of those 12 long years, but you still thought he was outright lying to you when he said sirius escaped

so when he showed up at your door looking like he had just traveled to hell & back...shocked was the understatement of the century

you fell into each other’s arms and you definitely cried way more than either of you care to admit

he seemed mostly the same, but you could also tell some of the light had left his eyes

all you wanted to do was take care of him 24/7

it took him a bit to get used to your affection because he was without it for so long, but after a couple months he came around

so. many. cuddles.

and tracing his tattoos when you do

you love asking him about the meanings behind all of them

every morning was a lazy morning because neither of you wanted to get up from the perfect position of being tangled up in each other

cooking for him literally all day every day

“are you sure you ate enough? i can make more if-”

“sweetheart you know i love you but if you stuff me anymore i might explode”

speaking of saying i love you

it wasn’t something you heard as often as you did when you were younger, but now when he said it you could tell me meant it with every piece of his soul

comforting him and talking him down from nightmares

sometimes he’d start to pull away from you because he would get into these moods of feeling super down on himself & that you deserve so much better

you reassuring him that he is everything you need & more

going through the drawers of his old room and stealing his old t shirts to wear around the house or to sleep in 

he would light up when he saw you in them

your sex life was somehow just as good if not better than it was before he went to azkaban

testing out every room in the house 

during sex one night you would just be like “god you are so good at this” and he’d smirk really big and respond with “it’s like riding a bike my love” 

quiet afternoons where the two of you sit in silence in the living room reading and just enjoying each other’s company

giving each other shoulder massages

you giving him haircuts and lowkey pranking him by pretending you messed up (which you never actually do)

having a little too much wine some nights which leads to giggly kitchen counter makeouts (and sometimes more)

SHOWERING TOGETHER

and it would start out really playful & goofy like he’d spike up your hair with soap and you’d make his moustache all curly

but then eventually that mood would wear off and you’d just look into his eyes super lovingly and he’d bring you in for the tightest hug

so then showers would become these really soft times where you’d admire each others bodies & sometimes have deep talks

braiding and putting his hair into buns just like you used to when you were younger

you becoming somehow even closer with remus because he visits you guys a lot

going on a lot of walks because he was deprived of seeing the world for so long

buying him a lot of random gifts

slow dancing in the kitchen at nighttime

so many hugs where you rest your foreheads against each other & he presses soft kisses all over your face

im 🥺🥺🥺

tags:

@tinylumpiaa @kashishwrites @lateautumn @siriusly-padfoot @ask-sirius-queer-black

[fruitcoops]

eve omg omg omg the jules fic was so amazing!!!! i'm so excited for the rest :))))

Here’s part two of Adventures in Babysitting! The editing was being finnicky, so I’m sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather and Jules credit belongs to @lumosinlove!

“Are you warm enough?” Sirius asked as he swiped Jules’ bangs beneath the edge of his beanie. Jules nodded, still sleepy even at seven thirty in the morning. “D’accord, let’s get going. Re, did you let Hattie out?”

“Yep, she’s all set in the living room.” Remus kissed him as he passed, hauling his duffel up and resting his hand between Jules’ shoulder blades to guide him down the steps. “Careful, buddy, it’s slippery.”

“I know,” Jules mumbled. “D’you think it’ll snow?”

Sirius looked up—the sky was still fairly dark, but smudges of thick grey clouds seemed to be rolling in. “Probably.”

The drive to the rink was quiet and peaceful; a six o’clock wake up call was tough even on the best of mornings, when they didn’t have a third tiny person to worry about. Regulus sounded like he was waking as they left the house, and Sirius hoped he’d stick around long enough to say goodbye. Pascal’s house wasn’t far, but Sirius knew he would miss having him around.

“Morning, boys,” Remus called as they entered the locker room.

“Morning,” Kasey yawned, stretching his thigh out. “How’s the kid?”

“Sleepy.”

“Big mood. He’s with Moody again today?”

“Yep. They’ll probably come watch again at some point.” Remus smiled to himself. “Thank you guys for showing off yesterday, by the way. He couldn’t stop talking about it the whole evening.”

“Who’s ready to win a game?” James whooped, barging in and looking far too awake for his own good.

Leo frowned. “Game’s tomorrow, Pots.”

“It’s never too early to get hyped, baby rookie.” James patted him on the head as he passed and Leo scowled.

“I’m not a rookie anymore! Loops is!”

“If I call Loops a rookie, he’s going to make sure I never have children again,” James laughed, throwing a t-shirt to Remus from across the aisle. “Here, I borrowed that a couple weeks ago.”

Remus gave it a tentative sniff. “Dude, you didn’t even wash it?”

“It’s something to remember me by.”

“You’re a walking nightmare.”

“Nah, you love me.”

There was a new intensity to their practice that morning—they had beat the Ravens before, sure, but that didn’t mean they were guaranteed to win this time. Even James centered himself, tapping a puck back and forth with Remus until it was nothing but a blur between them. Sirius didn’t see Jules or Moody at any point throughout their ice time, which left him a little disappointed when the timer went off and it was time to hit the gym.

They all did lighter workouts, more like cool down exercises rather than legitimate muscle-building routines. Sirius let himself fall into the rhythm of squats, pushups, and jump-roping until each beat of his heart aligned with the impact of his feet on the mats. The jingle of his ringtone finally signaled the end of practice and a collective sigh went up.

“See you tomorrow, gents,” Nado said as he stood and stretched his back. Sirius felt the mood change as the pre-game heaviness settling over them like a weighted blanket.

Remus wandered over and gave his shoulder a light nudge. “I’ll shower and get Jules while you finish up, yeah?”

“Sounds good. I’ll be quick.” Sirius pressed their foreheads together in lieu of a kiss before turning back to the rest of the guys as stretches began. “You know the spiel. Get some sleep, carb load, all that jazz.”

“Got it, Cap,” Leo said. He tried for a smile, though he looked troubled.

“The Ravens are a great team, but we’re better. We beat them before and we can do it again. Shake off the weird vibes, okay? We can do this.” We have to if we want to make it to the playoffs, he thought instinctively before reaching over to tap the strip of wooden floor that the mats didn’t quite cover. Nope. No playoff thoughts. Just the game.

Eight minutes and a dozen fist-bumps later, they arrived at the locker room in a jumble of bodies. Sirius paused at the end of the hall and heard more than one quiet ‘awww’; Remus was waiting outside, as promised, with Jules fast asleep in his arms. He winked when he saw them and held a finger to his lips, stepping out of the way so they could sneak past.

Moving over a dozen fully-grown hockey players through a small space was not the most stealthy of activities, especially when all of them lingered to get a look at the sleeping child—it was no surprise that Jules woke up partway through and blinked drowsily at them. “Hmm?”

“It’s okay, buddy, you can sleep,” Remus murmured, hitching him a little higher up. “We’re heading home soon.”

“But I wanna watch,” Jules said, pouting slightly. Kasey made a soft noise and put his hand over his heart.

“You can watch the game tomorrow,” James said in a gentle voice. It wasn’t baby talk, persay, but Sirius had definitely heard him use that same soothing tone when Harry started to fuss. Jules snuggled his face into Remus’ neck again with a hum.

Sirius showered quickly and grabbed his bag, barely checking to see if his stuff was all there before ducking out of the locker room with a final mock-salute to the guys. “How long has he been asleep?” he asked as he picked up Remus’ duffel.

“He was out cold on the PT table.” Remus laughed under his breath. “Moody said he was a firecracker for about an hour and a half, but he came back from the bathroom and found him all curled up.”

“That’s so fucking cute. Did you get a picture?”

“Already sent it to my folks.” Remus carefully set Jules in the backseat of the car and buckled him in while Sirius closed the trunk as quietly as he could. Once they were in their respective seats, Remus leaned over the console and gave him a proper kiss, nice and slow. It sent a buzz all the way down to Sirius’ toes.

The lights were off at the house when they arrived; Jules was fully awake by then and Sirius watched his face fall at the same time his own heart clenched. “Regulus left.”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s okay, we’ll see him tomorrow.” Sirius added the last sentence partly for himself—he tried to keep in mind that Regulus was an adult and had moved out ages ago, but they had settled into their routine so quickly. He didn’t want the house to feel empty again.

“Hey.” Remus’ hand was light on his elbow and he blinked, looking over at his smile. “You alright?”

“Yeah, all good. Let’s get some lunch.” He offered a smile that he knew was weak, but Remus linked their hands all the same and kissed his cheek before getting both their bags out of the back.

Jules was playing hopscotch with the checkerboard of ice patches on the sidewalk; it had snowed while they were at practice, after all. There was a faint bark from inside and Jules gasped happily, racing toward the front door with reckless abandon and pressing his face against the wood. “Hi, Hattie-girl!”

Sirius unlocked the door, bending slightly to absorb her impact as she tumbled into them both and covered Jules’ face in kisses, wiggling to pieces with sheer joy. She sprinted for her toy box and grabbed a knotted rope, trotting back to Jules for him to grab the other end and tug.

“Do we have leftovers from last night?’ Remus called from the doorway when Sirius headed into the kitchen.

“I don’t think so, but we have turkey. How does a sandwich sound?”

“F—uh, really great.” Remus grimaced as he walked in and dropped his wallet on the counter. “I have got to be better about my language. Mom’s still mad at me for teaching Jules to say ‘fuck’, and that was years ago.”

“You had no qualms about teaching Harry bad words.”

“And you had no qualms about being on a desert island without me,” Remus said coolly. “Yet here we are.”

“Touché.” Sirius turned around to construct the sandwiches and felt someone lightly slap his ass. He laughed, raising an eyebrow. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Remus grinned, stealing a slice of cheese from his small pile and hopping up to sit on the counter.

“I don’t know why you do that.”

“Slap your ass or steal food? I do both because I love you.”

“I meant sitting on the counter. You know, where we eat.”

“I like to feel extra tall,” Remus said, reaching for another slice of cheese until Sirius gently smacked his hand away.

“Shortie.”

“Fuck off.”

“That’s a bad word,” Jules said from the doorway with a smile. He looked quite disheveled from playing with the dog.

Remus sighed. “It is, indeed. Don’t repeat it.”

“I could.”

“But you won’t.”

“I could.”

“I’ll tell mom.”

“She’d blame you for teaching me.”

“I’ll tell dad.”

“He’d think it was hilarious, and then he’d tell mom and she’d chew you out.”

Remus rolled his eyes and scooted over to make room for Jules to hop up next to him. Sirius threw his hands in the air. “Both of you! What the hell? Who taught you to do that?”

They shared a glance and shrugged. Sirius was starting to understand why people thought it was creepy how similar he and Regulus looked. “It’s a side effect of being the wiry kids on the block when everyone else is taller,” Remus said, snorting as Jules flexed his skinny arms.

Sirius handed them each a sandwich and, with a heavy sigh, boosted himself up to join them. The marble was cold, but it was…kind of fun to swing his legs and get a few extra inches of height. “I think he likes it,” Jules stage-whispered to Remus.

“It’s not horrible,” Sirius conceded, taking a bite of his food.

“Come to the Dark Side, we have the best places to sit.”

Jules widened his eyes and wiggled his fingers at Sirius until they were all laughing too hard to actually eat, then fell into silence as hunger took precedence after not having anything substantial since breakfast. “Are you good with reading or watching TV for a bit while we take a nap?” Remus asked between sips of water. Jules nodded, still making his way through his sandwich.

“What’re we doing after?”

Sirius paused at the same time Remus stopped halfway through a drink of water. They made eye contact, and he knew they were thinking the exact same thing: oh, fuck, we actually have to do things with a child around. “Uh, we’re…going to the park,” Remus said.

Jules made a happy noise around his sandwich and swung his legs. “Cool!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Okay, mom.”

----------------------------------------

The park was a winter wonderland, to say the least. Four inches of snow coated the grassy field and weighed down the branches of the trees lining the playfield, where about a dozen kids built snowmen with their parents. Hattie’s breath fogged the window as they parked and her wagging tail lightly smacked Jules’ forehead every few seconds.

Jules was out of the car the second Sirius turned the engine off, grabbing Hattie’s leash and leaping into the nearest snowbank with a whoop. Remus burst out laughing and followed him with a final glance over his shoulder to Sirius.

They were making halfhearted snow angels when he finally wandered over to the snowbank. They looked so peaceful, so content and happy.

Remus gasped when the first snowball hit him dead center in his chest. Jules laughed even harder until the next one landed in the neck of his coat and poured a veritable waterfall of snow down his front. They both stared up at Sirius in shock and betrayal; he grinned and tucked his chilly hands into his pockets.

“Go for the legs, Jules,” Remus advised as he scrambled up, keeping one hand on his beanie so it didn’t fall off.

Sirius barely made it three steps before Jules grabbed him around the shin and nearly tripped him. He did his best not to drag the kid face-first through the snow, but Jules didn’t seem to mind as he hooked an arm around his other ankle and Remus collided with his shoulder, sending all three of them to the ground in a heap. “Ugh.”

“Gotcha,” Jules said, clambering onto his chest with a breathless smile. Hattie, who had come over to see what all the fuss was about, began licking his half-frozen ear.

Remus sprinkled a handful of snow onto his face, slowly obscuring his view until everything was icy and white. “Vengeance is sweet, huh, buddy?”

“Totally.”

Sirius wiped the snow away and blinked up at two pairs of amber eyes. “I surrender?”

“I should hope so,” Remus laughed as he stood up and brushed himself off, offering a hand to help him to his feet. He kissed his nose in consolation as Jules took Hattie’s leash and ran off toward the playfield, where he would no doubt make seven new best friends within the hour.

“Cute kid,” a middle-aged woman with a kind smile said as she stopped next to them.

“Isn’t he?” Sirius smiled as Hattie rolled onto her back for belly rubs from three different kids.

“How old?”

“Ten.”

Her eyebrows rose and she looked at Remus. “You must have been young when you had him.”

“What? Oh, no, he’s my little brother!” he said quickly.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, you just look so similar,” she laughed, clearly embarrassed.

“No worries, it happens all the time. Which one is yours?”

She pointed to a giggling little girl on the swings, whose dark curls were braided back into a poofy bun. “Lena turned twelve yesterday.”

“Aw, happy birthday to her!” Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus’ waist and put his hand in his back pocket, pulling him close for warmth. They both waved to Jules when he looked over and beamed at them.

The temperature dropped rapidly as four thirty came and the sun began to set; soon, the fat flakes of snow grew smaller and icier as they flurried around the park. Lena and her mother left about half an hour before Remus started bouncing on his toes in an effort to keep warm. Sirius considered himself a decent fiancé, so he figured it would be best to not let Remus freeze solid.

Jules was damp and shivering with melted snow when they got back to the house and Hattie immediately laid down in front of the heater vent as he ran upstairs for a hot bath; Remus and Sirius peeled their soaked outer layers off and hung them in the bathroom to dry.

“If he gets hypothermia, mom’s gonna kill me,” Remus muttered as he shook Jules’ scarf out over the bathtub, though Sirius could see the genuine concern in his eyes.

“He’ll be fine,” he assured him with a gentle hip check. “We were only there for a couple hours and we left pretty quick after it got really cold.”

“He was shivering in the car.”

“Re.” Sirius set his coat down and took Remus’ face between his hands. “Jules will be just fine.”

“We would be really good parents.”

He blinked. “What?”

“Not now, obviously, but I think we’d be good parents.” Sudden nervousness shadowed his face. “Sorry, that was way out of the blue. Do you—do you not want that?”

“No, I do! I really, really do but…we’ve never talked about it before. Like, in depth.” I wouldn’t be a good dad. I barely know what a good parent looks like, aside from yours and the Potters.

Remus relaxed. “Oh. Well, I don’t think it would be a great idea to adopt kids while we’re still working full time playing hockey, but in the future…” He shrugged, the edge of his mouth ticking up in a smile. “I think about it sometimes.”

“Me, too.” There was a splash upstairs and they both laughed. “Well, I guess we’re about to have an indoor swimming pool.”

“I’ll get the towels.”

------------------------------------

Sirius was almost done with the dinner dishes when he realized he hadn’t heard much noise from Jules’ room in quite a while, and yet Remus had yet to come back downstairs. He paused, listening to the muffled voices—no, not voices. Just one.

He rinsed the last plate and washed his hands, making a face at the weird soap texture and the ensuing dryness of his knuckles. There were few chores he genuinely disliked, but dishes were one of them.

The door to the guest bedroom was still open when he went upstairs, and a soft light shone out. He stopped in the doorway, a greeting dying in his throat.

“—‘hold it up!’ said Gandalf. ‘And look closely!’” Remus lowered his voice into a grumble as he read Gandalf’s lines; Jules was entranced, though he struggled to keep his eyes open for more than three seconds at a time. “As Frodo did so, he now saw fine lines, finer than the finest pen-strokes, running along the ring, outside and inside: lines of fire that seemed to form the letters of a flowing script.”

He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at Sirius, flushing faint pink. In the pause, Jules sighed softly. “Why’d you stop?”

“We’ll pick it up again tomorrow night,” Remus whispered, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. “Sleep well, buddy.”

“Sweet dreams,” Sirius added.

Jules mumbled and snuggled deeper under the blankets while Remus set the book on the nightstand and turned the bedside lamp off.

“That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Sirius said as soon as he had closed the door behind them and they walked down the hall to their bedroom. “Was that The Hobbit?”

“Fellowship of the Ring. It’s one of my favorites, and he picked it up this afternoon while we were napping.” Remus pulled his shirt off and sifted through their sheets for his pajama pants. “Did you do the dishes?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks, baby. That was really sweet of you.”

“You were busy being adorable.”

“Shush,” Remus scoffed, though the blush returned to his cheeks as he curled up under the covers and made grabby hands toward Sirius. “C’mere.”

The bed was cold when he laid down, but Remus was warm, and soon they were tangled together as the moon shone through their window. Sirius drifted off to slow breaths and dreams of the future, where maybe—just maybe—their kid wouldn’t have to leave after four more days. 

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Remus Lupin x Reader Smut- Full Moon Aftercare

Gif not mine :)

Waking up with the sheets cold beside you had become an occurrance you were used to every month since your secret relationship with your Dark Arts Professor had started. You use the term 'secret' loosely however as your dorm friends all knew what was going on and you were 99% sure all of the staff faculty were aware and just hiding it from the ministry but still, the idea of a forbidden relationship only made it that much more exciting. You'd fallen for him the second he walked through those classroom doors in his cardigan you now steal at every opportunity possible and finding out during you final year at Hogwarts that your feelings were reciprocated was one of the best days of your life. Being 18 your choice in boyfriend was technically legal but whilst you were still a student and on Hogwarts grounds you could never be truly 'official', else the ministry would take Remus' job in a heartbeat- of course it wasn't ideal but for now the both of you were happy to settle with stolen hidden kisses and sneaking to Lupin's dorm of an evening without getting caught out by some worms like Malfoy and his goons.

You rolled over to his side of the bed and laid your face into his pillow, breathing in the scent you missed the night before. Looking out the window you could see it was still the early hours of the morning and knew it wouldn't be long until a blanket clad man was going to walk through the door. Full moons were a tough time for the both of you- albeit Remus clearly suffered a lot more- with your boyfriend returning back from a hard night each time and you patching up any wounds that he obtained on his travels with a bar of his favourite chocolate resting on the bedside counter. This month's was no different as you got up and gathered the first aid kit Remus left at the top of his wardrobe and a pair of his comfiest pyjamas and waited on the end of the bed for him to come through the door.

Barely 10 minutes had passed and you heard the shuffling of your boyfriend's heavy footsteps coming down the hall; you stood to meet him at the door.

"Hey" You smiled sadly as Remus all but limped through the door. He gave you a weak smile in return and softly kissed your cheek before practically collapsing on the bed behind you. "Rough night?" You joked with a side smile as you sat beside him with his pyjamas in hand. You'd almost asked him once why he only hid a blanket out in the forest rather than a spare set of clothes but after seeing him struggle even wrapping the threaded material round his bare frame by himself you cut yourself off.

"Darling you have no idea." He winced as he attempted to sit up, fresh cuts and scrapes getting shifted with each movement. You smiled sympathetically at him as you helped him get into his pyjama bottoms (secret Lupin insight, underwear is a big no after a change, the waistband is far too tight around his aching bones) and passed him a square of the dark chocolate that he'd been eyeing up since he saw it on the counter. You noticed the large cut that was going down the underside of his arm and nodded your head towards it, grabbing the first aid kit.

"Okay I'm sorry, this is going to sting quite a bit at first but just remember it'll be worth it in the end; you'll feel a lot better." You apologised, as you used an alcohol soaked cotton pad to clean the wound before bandaging it up. A small, pain-filled laugh sounded beside you and you turned in confusion.

"Sorry.. I know you're trying to help and I love you for it. You just.. reminded me what I said on the first night you stayed here." He chuckled.

"Remus John Lupin amidst your pain from a bloody long night did you really just answer me with a 'that's what he said' line? You're such a child sometimes." You laughed.

"You know you love me for it Y/N."

"Of course I do Professor." You couldn't help it sometimes, honestly you couldn't. In your defence, after having him as a teacher for so long you just became accustomed to calling him professor when talking to him. Sometimes in private you did it on purpose, especially after seeing the reaction it got out of him when you did it accidentally during the first few weeks of your relationship- let's just say you're not allowed to use any such title in class with Remus anymore.. you'd trialled 'sir' for a while but apparently any such term towards him leaving your lips turns him back into a horny teenager. Apparently even in pain it had the same effect."Y/NNNN" He moaned softly, hanging his head down to try and avoid eye contact with you. You followed his gaze and noticed his half-hard bulge poking at the striped trousers.

"Remus I'm so sorry, it was an accident I swear." You apologised profusely. The two of you had learned very early on that Remus' transition come-down effects him sexually too. The two of you usually have to wait at least 3 days before being intimate with each other as the change causes Lupin to be incredibly sensitive and sometimes even in pain until he fully feels like himself again. It becomes difficult after the first day as his libido skyrockets after a full moon event, neither of you were quite sure why. Sometimes Remus would try to push himself too far but with the mixture of his aching body and the oversensitivity he deals with in his trousers the moment ends fairly quickly with a shout of pain. You'd vowed to make it up to him massively each month if he could hold out the three days because you were always worried that you would hurt him if you tried too soon- that's if he doesn't hurt himself first of course- and the promise was "definitely worth the wait" according to your partner.

"Shh it's okay. I just-ah need a minute." He winced again as he shifted his weight to lay against the headboard of the bed. You nodded and laid beside him, resting your head against his shoulder and lightly kissing the base of his jaw in apology. The silences were there but it wasn't awkward as you frequently tried to talk to him to take his mind off his growing erection (clearly his mind was doing the opposite). The minutes ticked by and nothing seemed to help. "I'm sorry Y/N, you're probably exhausted getting up this early to help me out. I won't be offended if you want to go back to your dorm to get a proper sleep, I'm afraid I wouldn't be such a good host wincing like a kicked puppy every time I take a deep breath. Besides, my uh- problem, shall we say, doesn't appear to be getting any better." He spoke, realising his half-hard erection had grown in the last few minutes rather than going away. The last few weeks you'd been spending a lot of your time studying for your final exams so the two of you didn't really have time to have sex as you were constantly busy. It annoyed you, of course it did, but Lupin understood completely knowing how much your studies meant to you. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't pleasure himself each time in the shower fantasising your previous sexual endeavours and now found his mind wandering back to the old memories as he felt his cock twitch.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you really want me to. It's technically my fault you're even more uncomfortable." You shifted from your position to face him a little more. " And don't you ever feel bad about me getting myself up early on these days to make sure you're okay. I'd drive myself mad if I just stayed in my dorm room knowing you'd come back here by yourself. I love you and I want to help you out as much as I can. I knew what I was signing up for in this relationship when it started and I'm not going to back out." You confessed. Remus gave you a soft smile in return and leaned himself to kiss the side of your head, words often failing him when you speak to him like this as he'll never understand how he got so lucky with such an understanding, loving person. He stifled a noise that sounded a mixture of pain and pleasure at the sensation of his trousers rubbing against him. "Can I at least try to help? Please?" You asked, moving to rest your hand on his upper inner thigh. "I'll go slow and if you tell me to stop, I'll stop." From the corner of your eye you could see Lupin stifling a laugh. "Another flashback?" You grinned. "That's not going to help this go anywhere." You teased, gesturing to the tent in his trousers.

"One of the best." He answered with a smile. He was in pain, there was no doubt about that, but he felt guilty accepting your offer, almost like he felt he was using you breaking your 3 day rule. You moved your hand to the waistband of his pyjama bottoms and looked at him for approval.

"It's probably going to hurt at first but just focus on me and I'll try to make this as easy as I can." You whispered. With a soft nod given as consent you softly put your hand in and wrapped your fingers around his throbbing cock, hearing a sharp intake of breath and a quiet wince from the man beside you. With your spare hand you turned his face towards yours, pressing your lips against his as your other hand slowly made a steady rhythm, causing the older man to eventually moan against your mouth. Your movements were slow. Careful. As you twisted your hand as it reached the head, pre-cum dripped down your knuckles as Remus slowly came undone below you.

"I love you Professor." You turned your head to whisper in his ear as you kissed and licked down his jaw and neck. Your voice did things to him that he would never be able to explain. It usually embarrasses you but knowing it was one of Remus' biggest turn ons you decided to treat him on this occasion, willing to do anything to make this easier for him. "I especially love how your big cock fits in my hand so perfectly, like you were made for me." You moaned breathlessly in his ear as you picked up the pace with your hand. You felt Lupin's big hand come round in attempt to lift your shirt but the pain in his arm stopped him. "Calm down Professor. As much as I'd love for you to fill me up right here and now we need to wait, then you can have me any way you want to remember? Use me as your own personal sex doll over and over until you pass out of exhaustion." You bit his earlobe.

"P-Promise?" He managed to breathe out, any pain he was feeling long gone by his new distraction as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"I'd want nothing else sir."

"Fuck Y/N." He swore, moving his head into your shoulder and biting the bit of flesh he could reach. You moaned in response and moved your other hand down towards the front of your own trousers, beginning to rub circles on your swollen clit that had been dying for your attention. "Oh you're such.. a naughty girl Y/N." He teased lowly seeing your actions. "MY naughty girl."His deep voiced words caught you off-guard as you squeezed tighter onto his member, flicking your thumb over the top of his sensitive head as you felt him come close to the edge.

You moaned deeply and pushed two fingers inside yourself, matching the pace of your other hand as you turned your head into Remus' and kissed him deeply.

"I'm almost there." Remus breathed between the kiss, fisting his hands into the bedsheet, angry he felt too weak to be able to touch you properly. "Come on darling, cum with me." He encouraged, fighting back his own orgasm as he watched your hand work steadily on yourself through your trousers. He didn't have to tell you twice. With a few more twists of your hands and pumps of your fingers the two of you came undone, moaning each other's names as you reached your high.

"Feeling.. better?" You teased breathlessly as you grabbed one of the spare cleaning cloths and wiped you both down.

"You could say that." He smirked, slowly letting himself sink down the bed until he was laying completely. You joined him and rested your head on his chest, careful to avoid any fresh bruises. His fingers lazily danced against your hip as you yawned beside him. "Thank you." He spoke sincerely, turning his head to kiss the top of your head.

"For accidentally turning you on and tossing you off when you really needed to sleep? You're welcome." You joked, nestling closer.

"No- well yes actually, for that too-" He laughed. "But more-so for being here every time I get back after a full moon like this. It's nice knowing I'm not coming home to an empty bed every time. You make it almost bearable. I really do love you Y/N, more than I could have ever imagined loving anybody."

"I'll always be here for you to get back to Remus, unfortunately for you you're now stuck with me. I love you too. Now let's go to sleep, you need your rest." Lupin opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off, practically reading his mind. "I spoke to the other professors earlier this week and they've agreed that after seeing me practically hanging out my arse every day after a full moon that I could take the day off to be with you, providing I catch up with the work within a week." You spoke.

"You're truly an amazing woman Y/N, I believe I'd be lost without you."

"You haven't heard the best part yet. I even managed to convince Snape to agree to the deal, with the agreement that I would go to his classroom once a fortnight to make the potions with him that I miss and do a timed essay that the rest of the class don't have to do. I'm more than happy with that as it counts towards my potions studying but I didn't let him see that and let him believe it was some kind of small punishment."

"One on one time with Severus in his classroom eh?" Remus began. "Should I be concerned? That is how we started off after all." He joked. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. Whilst Remus sounded as though he was kidding you could always see the underlying insecurities in his eyes, constantly worried you'd leave him for anyone that didn't have his 'condition', constantly thinking you deserved better- even if it was Snape...

"I'd never leave you for anyone Remus, especially never Snape."

"Oh? And why's that."

"He doesn't like chocolate. Immediate red flag." You grinned, slowly rubbing your fingers along the raised scars that patterned your boyfriend's chest. Another thing he was hugely insecure enough. The first few months you were dating you learned he was even trying to use make-up to hide the ones on his face but you managed to convince him that scars made any man sexier, but the ones on his chest and torso were the ones he hated most- hell, the first few times you had sex he kept his shirt on and then when you finally convinced him to take it off you'd have to be in the dark. But doing little things like now, tracing the map of pink and white lines across his body, memorising every inch of him made him feel better. He let out a small laugh and managed to roll over onto his side and take you under his good arm for a hug, appreciating the smell of your shampoo under his nose as he kissed your head. He really did strike it lucky with you and he loved you more than anything in this world but being here and treating him like you do, Remus finally found himself doing something he never thought he could again. He was starting to love himself.

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Pancakes (Ficmas #11)

And here’s today’s fluffy instalment!! I hope you guys enjoy!

Characters and their world by @lumosinlove​

“Remus!” Julian yelled as he threw open the door to Sirius and Remus’ bedroom. “It’s Christmas Eve!”

Remus, who had been awake for at least twenty minutes and had been half scrolling on his phone, half admiring Sirius sleeping couldn’t help but laugh at Sirius’ sleepy confusion of being woken up in such a manner.

“Come on, come on, come on!” Julian said, looking like he’d had about ten shots of espresso followed by more sugar than a kid eats on Halloween as he climbed onto the foot of the bed and started climbing on Remus, impatient. “Re,” He whined, “You promised.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Remus laughed, shoving Julian off him so he could roll out of bed. “Get out of the way you oversized puppy, go downstairs and get ready and I’ll be there in a minute.”

Julian all but flew from the room, thundering down the stairs still in his pyjamas, hair sticking in every which direction. Remus chuckled as he turned to look at Sirius who’s eyes were wide as he blinked rapidly. “Quoi?”

Remus smiled and leaned down to kiss him softly. “Good morning gorgeous. Bet that woke you up, huh?”

Sirius nodded, but he looked pleased as he stretched, his arms reaching above his head with a cat-like grace. “What’s happening this morning?”

Remus rolled out of bed, throwing a hoodie over the t-shirt he slept in and pulled on a pair of sweats. Sirius might appreciate him cooking in his underwear but he had a feeling no one else would.

“We have a little tradition of making pancakes every Christmas Eve.” Remus explained, leaning back over the bed to steal another kiss from his sleep-warmed boyfriend. “Except they’re not normal pancakes, they’re the most ridiculous, over the top, bordering inedible ones you’ve ever seen.”

Sirius sat up as Remus pulled away, chasing his boyfriend’s lips and sliding his hands under the hem of Remus’ shirt. “Can I join? It sounds like fun.”

Remus beamed. “Of course you can come baby.” He kissed him once more before moving away. “You don’t even have to ask. You’re my family, all my traditions are yours now too.” He headed to the door, “Follow me down as soon as you’re dressed. I’ve gotta run because Jules has no patience and if I don’t come soon, he’ll try to make them himself.” Remus winced, scratching the back of his neck, “And that would be a disaster.”

Sirius laughed and threw a pillow at him. “Go, go, I’ll be there in a minute.

Remus headed down the stairs to where Julian had laid the ingredients out on the counter and was buzzing to start. Remus had gone shopping for this specifically a few days ago and was loaded with food colouring and sprinkles and chocolate chips and about a hundred other cake decorations that would definitely all end up in the same bowl together and look like Christmas, New Year’s and a seven year old girls birthday party all combined. 

“Is Sirius coming?” Julian asked, looking behind Remus expectantly. Remus took out three aprons and tossed one to Jules. “Yeah he is, he’ll just be a minute.”

Julian nodded, accepting the answer and turned so Remus could tie his apron. Remus put his own on then threw the last to Sirius as he entered the kitchen.

“Joyeux Noel!” Sirius greeted, ruffling Julian’s hair and wrapping an arm around Remus’ waist before kissing his cheek. “So what’s this I hear about pancakes?”

“These are the best pancakes ever.” Julian said seriously, launching into a detailed description. “Nothing is off limits.”

“What about vegetables?”

“Nothing unhealthy is off limits.” Julian corrected, looking at Sirius suspiciously. “Please tell me you wouldn’t put vegetables in pancakes.”

Sirius shook his head hand over his heart in mock horror. “Of course not! But I had to test to see if you had secret limits I should know about.”

Remus snorted and started cracking an egg against the bowl. “Are you boys gonna help or is it just me making them this year?” And laughed as Julian and Sirius scrambled to get to work.

“I think they’re amazing.”

“Our best work yet.”

“Are you sure we can eat them?”

Julian and Remus turned to look at Sirius in complete indignation. “Of course we’re not sure. That’s the best part!”

“Okay but there’s the chocolate chips, which is okay. Then there’s the food colouring-”

“Red and green.” Julian piped in.

“Yes thank you Jules,” Sirius continued, looking at their massive stack partly in awe and party in horror. “But then you have the sprinkles, and the little star things and the silver balls.”

“Don’t forget the edible glitter.” Remus chimed in. Sirius wiped his hand across his face. “How could I forget the edible glitter? It’s all over our kitchen.”

“And the cinnamon.”

“And the nutmeg.”

“And the whipped cream on top.”

“Mon dieu.” Sirius muttered before rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “Well then, what are we waiting for? Let’s eat!”

[bl597]

Could I please get a fic where the reader is Sirius’s wife who keeps him company while he’s cooped up in Grimmauld Place? Like maybe just him acting all clingy and touched starved after being in Azkaban for so long? Thanks!!

hello, love! of course you can! I'm sorry you had to wait so long for it, hope you enjoy it 💞💞

warnings: a little agnsty at first but then fluffy, post azkaban!Sirius, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

my masterlist ♡

You and Sirius married each other in 1978, as soon as you two graduated from Hogwarts. It was a small wedding since You-know-who was as powerful as ever, so just a very few close friends attended to it. It was the happiest day of your life, and you couldn't ask for anything better. Sirius was the sweetest husband ever, and he was your light during those dark days you were living now.

However, Sirius was unfairly taken to Azkaban for a crime he would never do, not even in his craziest nightmares. You lost your husband, your best friends and a whole life you had planned every detail of. You were alone and there was nothing you could do to change it.

That day when Remus sent you an owl telling you to immediately go to Hogsmeade, you were worried and left as soon as the letter arrived, thinking something bad happened to him or Harry. When you arrived the Shrieking Shack, you couldn't believe your eyes; next to Remus was a very familiar face, one you've been terribly missing for the past twelve years.

There stood your Sirius, his beautiful grey eyes were shinigh with tears, his dark hair was longer than the last time you saw him and it was filthy. He looked at you with an enormous smile, opening his arms while running towards you, you doing the exact same before engulfing him in a tight and long hug that you've been dying to feel for the last decade. You stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, none of you ready to let go, tears falling freely from your eyes, wetting his dirty shirt while saying 'I love you' repeatedly.

“Oh my God, Sirius, you look terrible” you chuckled sadly, cupping his cheeks with your hands so you could see his beautiful face.

He was paler and thinner than you remember and you could see a few scars and tattoos on his chest. You felt terrible for him, these last years must've been hell for him, not being able to see or hear about anyone and having to be alone for something he never did.

“That's not a very nice thing to say to your husband you haven't seen in twelve years.” he joked, cupping your face as well with his dirty hands so he could pull you into a long kiss.

After that day, Sirius refused to go home with you for a while because he knew they would look for him and didn't want you to get hurt, so he ran away, promising he would come back to you and would write you as much as he can.

Almost two years later, the Order of the Phoenix was back and you, as a member, participated too. The Number 12, Grimmauld Place was chosen to be the headquarters for the Order's encounters and that was where you met your husband again. He looked better than that night, and you were glad he was eating properly and having more sleep.

To keep him company and to make up for the last years you weren't together like you should, you moved in with him. It was a bit weird at first because of the house elves' heads on the wall and all of that, but it was more than fantastic when you have your husband with you.

Sirius was extremely happy to finally be able to be with you again after so long and he wouldn't leave your side for one second, something that you definitely were not complaining since you missed him as much as he missed you. He was always hugging you, holding your hands, kissing your lips, cheeks, forehead and nose and always telling you how much he loves you.

Sometimes you stayed with him at the house while other members went on missions so he wouldn't be alone, just like today.

You were cooking dinner when you felt two arms circling your waist and Sirius' chin resting on your shoulder, peeking the pan on the stove. “Smells fantastic, my dear.” he said quietly, placing a kiss on your cheek and holding you closer.

“Thank you, my love” you smiled, watching as he flicked his wand and the food started making itself. “What are you doing?”

“Stealing you” he said playfully, picking you up and running around the house, making silly sounds with his mouth as if you were flying.

“Sirius! Put me down!” you squeaked between laughs, gripping into him like your life depended on it. “Sirius!”

He only stopped when he reached your room, throwing you in the bed and tickling you until you were in tears, laughing so hard your stomach was hurting. “Honey, stop it!”

Giggling, he pulled apart and laid down next to you, a silly smile on his face. When you calmed down you turned around to see his face, smiling softly at him. “I love you” he said softly, pulling you closer to him.

“I love you more” you replied while you brushed his curls out of his face, kissing his forehead.

“I love you a lot more”

“That's not a competition, love” you joked, laying your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I know, silly” he replied “But if it was, I would win because I love you soooooo much”

“You're an idiot” you laughed, shaking your head at his childishness.

You stayed like that for a while, just laying on your lover's arms, your head on his chest while you listened to his heart beat. That was how you wanted to spend the rest of your life: with Sirius. You were sure you wanted it 17 years ago when you married each other, but now you were even more sure about it.

“Love of my life” Sirius said and you hummed to let him know you were listening and that he could keep going.

“When I clean my name, we'll be a family. You, me and Harry, we'll be a happy family” he kissed the top of your head “And we could even give Harry a little brother or sister, or both”

You smiled at his words, lifting your head so you could look at his beautiful, deep grey eyes. Nodding, you kissed his lips softly “We will be a happy family, my love, I promise”

The dinner was long forgotten by you two, and you were glad Sirius had cast a spell so it could be made with magic. You two spent the rest of the night curled together, talking about your future and all the things you would do when his innocence will be finally proven.

~

taglist ♡

@bwitchd @fific7 @iamak20 @msmimimerton @grierpilots @idontknowwhatthisisfam @imseeinggred @kashishwrites @tsuukichan

[marauder-exe]

Sweater- Remus Lupin

Request: Hey boo! Love your writing, and that prompt list? Aaaaamazing. Maybe you could do one with remus with 54,64 and 79 from prompt list #2?? If not that's totally cool, I Don't know, just got that idea last night:) Lots of loveee.

Prompts:

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

64. “Your bedhead is really cute”

79. “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

Word count: 1.6K

You where so Absolutely, Undeniably, Indubitably tired. You had stayed up the previous night studying, and you had to pull n all nighter later tonight to study for a shitty potions exam, my god you hated N.E.W.T.S. The rest of your friends, the Marauders, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, everyone had already studied and got an early night, while you procrastinated, so you had to cram the night before. This is hell, why do you do this? But you decided to take full advantage of the empty common room and decided to set up shop down their for the night. It was 10Pm, you where fresh faced, full from supper and have a cup of tea. How hard could Potions be to grasp?

It turns out very hard. All of the stuff that actually went into your brain just got muddled up, and it just wasn't going well. Your tea had been left to go cold, and the entirety of your notes had been spilled out over the common room table. It was getting chilly, and you needed some more tea anyway, so you decided to take a break. How you hadn't gotten colder earlier is a mystery, as you where wearing biker shorts and a tank top. You grabbed your cup, and stood up, when the cold sent a shiver down your spine and goosebumps rose on your skin. Then an idea popped into your head. Every day since you met him, Remus Lupin had worn the exact same, comfy looking, sweater, day in, day out. And to be honest, that's something you could use right now. You crept up the stairs, closer to the boys dorm, and quietly knocked on, you waited a few seconds, but there was no reply.

“Rem?” You whisper-shouted.

Then almost instantaneously, the door swung open, revealing none other than Remus Lupin, with no shirt, plaid pyjama pants and a book in his hand. Of course. He gave you a warm smile as he opened the door for you to step into the room. Man he looked so damn adorable in the low light.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing up, its like 2Am?” He gave a questioning look.

“I'm sorry, its what?” Since when did it get that late, you could've sworn you'd only started studying an hour ago. He nodded toward the clock on his night stand, which, in classic Remus fashion, was also drowned in old books and chocolate. You let out a quiet giggle.

“Guess the time just got away from me. I was wondering...” You chuckled nervously, why was it so damn hard to ask this man for a sweater. Right, he was Remus. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you, and I could really use the comfort right now?” He just kinda stood there, jaw slack, fumbling over his words, trying to explain how much he would love to give you any sweater he owned, without sounding creepy of course.

“If you two are gonna shag, could you maybe do it quietly? I'm trying to sleep here” The grumbled voice of Sirius came from the end bed. Remus threw a pillow at him as you both blushed profusely.

“Yeah.” He said abruptly. “I mean yeah, of course you can, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah” He repeated, with a nervous laughter.

“So, can I borrow it?” You questioned sarcastically with a laugh.

“Yeah, ill go get it” He laughed lowly. He tried to be as smooth as he could but when you where around, he had the function of a paper plate. Trying to retrieve the jumper from his trunk, he slipped a few times, laughing and mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’. How can one man be so cute.  He quickly jogged back over to you, about to hand you the sweater, when he stopped to admire your beauty for a second, your face lit by the candle light. Well what he thought to be a second but was more closer to a minute, being snapped out of his daydream by a quiet ‘Rem?’ Coming from you. God he loved that nickname. He laughed and apologised, handing you the sweater.

“Don't stay up too late though, love, you wont be able to focus if you have no sleep” he lectured. “You want some chocolate to take down with you?” You gratefully accepted his offer, marvelling at the mass amounts of chocolate he had. He gave you a variety. You knew he had given you his expensive chocolate he had gotten for his birthday. But you pretended not to notice and thanked him for the gesture with a kiss on the cheek as you quickly ushered out of the room. Scared if you stayed too long, you'd do something you regret. Of course, you left so quick, you just missed the deep blush that appeared on Remus’ face as he held a hand against his cheek where you had just kissed. He heard a low “Man, you are soooooo whipped” From Sirius, but just threw a pillow at him. He lay back down on his bed, dreaming of you.

After your sweater and chocolate exchange with Remus, you decided to duck back into the kitchens for some more tea. A quick caffeine top up is just what you needed. As you got back to the common room it was quickly approaching 2:30Am, You decided to get a few more hours of study done, but now in Remus’ comfy sweater. Obviously it was wayyy to comforting, because you ended up nodding off on the common room couch at 4Am, engulfed by the sweater and surrounded by the smell of Remus.

While you slept soundly downstairs, Remus looked up at his clock. 4:45Am. Sleep alluded him lately much to his chagrin. His dreams were usually filled to the brim with you, wondering what his life would be like if you two where together. But recently, he had been thinking about doing something about it, causing him some sleepless nights. He though you liked him, he was 90% sure, okay more like 60%. But the marauders had him convinced that she liked him back. Hell even lily knew that the Gryffindor princess was smitten for Werewolf Boy. He just wanted you to be his, and for him to not be a bumbling, stammering, blushing mess around you He lay in his own head space for about 45 minutes, until he realised you where still downstairs. He was worried you might work yourself to death at this rate. So he quietly shuffled out of his bed, making his way down the stairs. What he saw when he got down there was, perhaps, the one thing he’d want to see for the rest of his life. You where curled up around a pillow on the common room couch, Remus’ sweater drowning you. You where bathing in the Dawn sunlight, and you looked absolutely ethereal. He thought if there was heaven on earth this would be it. If there where big, cartoon heart eyes in real life, he’d definitely have them right bout now. He stood there staring at you, with his big, cartoon heart eyes for a solid five minutes, until you began to stir and wake up. He tried to busy himself looking over your papers and other miscellaneous things on the table.

“Hey, Remmy, not stealing my notes are you?” You giggled in your cute morning voice. He stood, frozen and slack jawed. How could one woman be so perfect? “Rem? Oh no, what's wrong? Is it my terrible bed head?” You panicked trying to flatted your crazed hair. He quickly shook himself from his daydream.

“No, its… Your bed head is cute” He mumbled lowly, you giggled. “Its just… I cant believe your wearing my clothes.”

“Well yeah, that was why I asked for it, it smells good” You breathed In the scent of his sweater, and Remus looked at you. Sat there, with a bed head, sleep deprived, having just woken up, still looking like an angel on earth. Why was he doing nothing about it? To hell if he was gonna let some douche get you before he could.

“Rem?” You questioned, blushing under his abnormally long stare. And before you knew it he had immediately rushed to you, his lips attaching to yours, passionate but hungry. He pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “Ive been wanting to do that for a while” He laughs and you giggle. But you where cut short by a slow clap ensuing from behind you, you both turned to see Sirius on the staircase, classic smirk and everything. Remus was about to scold Sirius and warn him not to tell the boys but Sirius already knew it. “Don't worry. ‘Remmmmyyyy’” He said in a dreamy voice. “I wont tell the boys” Remus released  breath and started counting down.

“3...2...1...” You furrowed your brows to question him, but it was soon answered by Sirius clamouring up the stairs screaming James’ name, probably about to tell him what just happened.

“Back in a sec, love” He said before rushing after Sirius, his werewolf traits no match for Sirius’ dog ones. You just stared after him, before shrinking down into the couch, sighing dreamily.

[sirius-blacks-curls]

my marauders headcanons

yall seem to like my sirius ones so i thought i’d try something a little different :)

sirius:

very allergic to cats. still attempts to pet and cuddle any cat he sees (except mrs. norris)

hes definitely colorblind

he hates dealing with his hair so when he has to actually look presentable he asks lily or remus to braid it or style it. otherwise he just leaves it down and only brushes it when it starts getting uncomfortable

he will sometimes switch to his animagus form when he has nightmares, especially after azkaban. when remus wakes up and sees a giant ass dog in his bed instead of his husband he just lays with him and pets him slowly until he wakes up

clingy as FUCK. it took him a couple years to get used to physical affection both from remus and james but once he did he could not get enough

definitely a bottom but would top if asked

he actually really enjoys reading (not that he would ever tell the others about that)

lily taught him how to do eyeliner. he wore it pretty much all the time but the last time he wore it was that halloween. then remus managed to convince him to wear it to their wedding years later because damn it makes him look good

constantly stealing remus’s shirts and sweaters

artist!!! i love the idea of artist sirius!! but instead of like being a painter or illustrator he chose to be a tattoo artist

kind of afraid of spiders, but will pick one up to make someone else stop screaming about it

remus:

i also really love the idea of artist remus but he would be more of a traditional artist

he paints on sirius’s arms and hands when hes bored and like colors in his tattoos

also steals his leather jacket. he painted on one of the sleeves once and sirius didnt wash it for 2 months bc he was afraid of washing the paint off

he acts like he hates being touched (and in most cases he does) but once he’s alone with certain people he trusts enough (sirius, james, lily, etc) he becomes a literal baby and clings to everyone

warm drinks 🥰

little spoon

all his school books have doodles and small paintings in them (by both himself and sirius)

loves cats almost as much as sirius 

plant mom

literally has like 10 plants in his window in the dormitory

will read just about anything he can get his hands on

makes the rest of the marauders stay in/near the shrieking shack on full moons so he knows hes not completely alone

best friends with lily

james:

mom friend

morning person

tries very hard to make all the other marauders morning people bc their sleep schedules are all shit. only succeeded with sirius bc he lived with him over the summer

hates cats which makes remus and sirius very sad

also really enjoys reading but doesnt make an effort to hide it like sirius

makes the other marauders do chores around the dorm since none of them care enough to keep their spaces clean otherwise

that only worked on peter and still only lasted a week

gets very flustered around lily (or regulus, whichever you ship)

basically when hes around someone he likes he turns into a blushy mess

very easy to embarrass

has a weird obsession with bees that he somehow passed on to sirius too

likes to cuddle with sirius and/or remus when hes upset 

very touchy person

breaks his glasses at LEAST twice a week

thinks hes a jock. he is not

peter:

i dont have quite as many for peter but

not as shy as everyone makes him out to be

hes actually pretty much the most sarcastic marauder

he still gets flustered and shy sometimes but not as much as in first/second year

absolute meme lord

helps james come up with pranks to play on sirius

they wouldnt dare play pranks on remus

they value their lives too much to

doesnt really get along with anyone other than those three which is why everyone perceived him as shy

can be kind of an ass

the person sirius would pick up a spider to make him stop screaming about said spider

lily:

highkey super close with sirius and remus

none of the marauders play pranks on her because, similar to why james and peter dont play pranks on remus, they value their lives

except once sirius tried 

just to see what would happen

he put hair dye in her shampoo (god knows how the hell he got ahold of it)

she, with neon pink hair, charmed his favorite pair of combat boots to be the exact same color

and made sure there was no way to undo it

he held a grudge for a bit but eventually embraced it (and also managed to steal a pair of her stockings/tights and a skirt just to see how remus would react)

she and remus had weekly outings after they graduated to talk about their dumbass husbands

this was also how she told him she was pregnant

the way she told him was by not ordering alcohol like she normally would

definitely a dom

likes playing with/doing sirius’s hair

anyway uh yeah feel free to add to this! rbs are much appreciated 🥰

[shinymooncolor]

Hi!

So - had two prompts that I’ve combined into this chat!

As always @lumosinlove is the mastermind of this wonderful fandom. 💖

I want to thank you all! Over 20 snippets and chats now. You guys are absolutely incredible and I can’t believe the feedback and love and good vibes I get from you. Thank you! I’m all done with prompts except for one which is the next chat - so I’ll be open for your ideas 😍

@frombeauxbatons and @canesinthecrease just because you inspire me ❤️

The boys are being naughty at a team event. Don’t worry. Consent was given on all accounts - they’re good boys! But they’re also a bunch of frat boys with muscles.

Remus plans a prank. He blames dumo and James. Nado organizes. Sergei wins. Timmy loses. Dumo is a prankster too. Olli is sneaky. Sirius is not in on the prank. Kuny is Kuny. Nat is amazing. Kris is an ally. Nado is also the team’s phoebe. (Friends reference)

Sweater weather chat #14

——

Saturday 5.22 pm

Nado created a group chat.

Nado named the group chat THE BIG LIONS HEIST 2020.

Nado added James, Remus, Dumo

Nado: hey Re. Remember the plan? We need to get all the boys to take the selfie before he notices

Remus: Nado. We’ve gone over this multiple times. I’ll get the phone from Sirius. I still think this is a disaster but you and James are very convincing

James: it’s a fucking awesome plan. He won’t notice I bet

Nado: also extra points if you get him all worked up😂

James: I don’t wanna spend an entire evening looking at Sirius trying to hide a hard-on

Nado: why not? It’s funny 😂

Dumo: why did remus get the easiest job?

Remus: I’m the only one who gets to put my hands in Sirius’ pocket.

Nado: awwww jealous?? You know we see him naked like several times a day?

Dumo: you’re not supposed to look.

Nado: I’m curious about the human body!

James: well we’ve all had sneak peaks. Still scared of Sergei

Dumo: he should hAve a tramp stamp saying heavy machinery

Nado: lets get him drunk!!!! Brady can ink him!!!!

Remus: you are not inking anyone without their consent. Also; have you met his wife? She’d skin you all alive.

Dumo: she would. I’ve seen her make a reporter cry.

James: why?

Dumo: the reporter insinuated things about Kuny. Not sure what he said but based on the cursing and sunny having to physically restrain her I think it was bad

Nado: yikes anyways we got everyone on board. I’ll kick cap out the group chat once you’ve swiped the phone. Now go get your tuxes on. We’ve got rich old ladies to woo.

Dumo: you’re not supposed to take them home.

Nado: I never saw that rule. Older ladies knows some shit. Damn. Cougars are wild!

Remus: I’m not treating sex injuries

Nado: you treated Kuny’s groin last month?

Remus: that was from the ice.

Nado: sure it was 😜

Dumo: I’m ending this. Go change and BEHAVE tonight

——

Saturday 8.54 pm

Nadotheman removed siriusly from the group chat

Nadotheman added Remus to the group chat

Nadotheman changed Remus to Loops

Blizzard: did you do it? You have the phone?

Loops: yes. I did my part. Your guys are up

Nadotheman: okay here are the rules for the 2020 lions heist (this year we’re doing truth and dare the lions way - so mostly dare)

1. We have 3 hours and cap’s phone. Each team member has to get a selfie with cap in the frame. The best (dirtiest) photo wins 😜

2. CAP CANT KNOW

3. Leo and Walker are starting and they get to chose the next one. You’ve all got one photo each

4. To be considered we need the photo sent to this chat before midnight.

5. Remus is the ref on this little game.

6. If you lose. You’ve gotta tell us 3 secrets. He he we get to pick when.

DamnFoxy: how is this a prank on cap?

Prongstar: he’s always being swarmed and it’s fun. He’s our canvas and we need to fill in the blanks. It’s like hide and seek meeting truth and dare meeting Pictionary meeting Snapchat

CarbO’Hara: so we can start? Cause Kuny’s been snogging that girl for 4 minutes now? Does he not need to breathe?

Nadotheman: that’s two points for Leo!

CarbO’Hara: @newt-leo? WhY? I saw him first?

Newt-Leo: he’s snogging someone at the shrimp buffet. That’s open season. Also he’s still not come up for air? And it was my turn to start @krisvolley and @prongstar you’re it

KrisVolley: @blizzard & @lewilliam you’re up

LeWilliam: blizzard is cheating!!! He got his girlfriend’s friend to kiss him!!!! And Nat was touching cap’s butt

Blizzard: read the rules man. I’m not cheating

LeWilliam: but it’s unfair?

Blizzard: not my fault. I’m winning.

Loops: @lewilliam I’m pretty sure Nat and blizzard saved cap from a handsy old lady.

Blizzard: @sergei_81 & @kaneyoudigit you’re up

Kaneyoudigit: Hahahaha hahahha pretty sure sergei and me are gonna win.

Dumodad: sergeu just manhandled a very confused looking Sirius all the way back to the toilets?

Nadotheman: wait. Where’s Kuny?

KrisVolley: yeah Sergei definitely won.

Kaneyoudigit: I’ve got a pic too!!!

Logantremblayzzz: well you’ve got only half a cap. Sergei got himself and cap giving thumbs up.

Sunnysideup: you forgot you were supposed to be in the photo @kaneyoudigit 😂

Prongstar: so it’s not even 10 and Kuny’s already half naked in the bathroom. It’s like you guys aren’t even tryin. Didn’t even get a selfie with cap in it yet. Also he wasn’t supposed to know.

Sergei_81: he not know game he think I just want pic for Kuny. Keep try but I’m win.

Krisvolley: well that was smart. Back to the game boys. @dumodad & @logantremblayzzz you’re up

Sergei_81: why you sound surprised? Brat. I’m smart.

——

Nadotheman: everyone got their pics in?

Walkietalkie: yeah. Finno was last with Olli. They’ve just sent it - nice job Olli 😜 timmy didn’t send one tho

Loops: I don’t think I want to know. Olli. How the hell did you get cap to do that?

Ollibear: I just asked him to get some fresh air with me. How could I know timmy was getting acquainted with a girl behind the curtain? 😇

DumoDAD: acquainted? Is that what it’s called now?

RussianGod: at least I go to toilet for hookup

KrisVolley: you’re all terrible.

Sunnysideup: you sent a selfie with you and cap in front of the girls kissing in the corner....

KrisVolley: I’m a proud ally!

Talkiewalkie: to be fair you both look incredible uncomfortable

KrisVolley: it’s a stupid game

Timmyforrealz: HEY?! You losers hear about privacy?

Ollibear: if you want privacy don’t hook up with someone behind a curtain at a fancy nightclub.... also you didn’t send a pic. You’ve lost.

Timmyforrealz: I didn’t lose hah. Maybe I lost your dumb game

Prongstar: don’t blame the game for her dumping you. Also you lost some buttons on your shirt, your tie is a disaster and your dignity is hanging on by a thread

Timmyforrealz: she didn’t dump me. I decided not to pursue it further!

Russiangod: whatever u say. Come on who win?

Loops added siriusly to the group chat

Siriusly: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Why am I in all of these selfies?

Loops: you’re cute when you’re annoyed. I had nothing to do with this😇

Prongstar: captain my captain. It was all loops’ idea. We’ve got a selfie collection for you.

Siriusly: you idiots have spent an entire evening running Around trying to take selfies with me and not tell me?

DumoDAD: it was fun. You didn’t catch on when Sergei asked you to pose in front of Kuny clearly going at it?

Siriusly: I thought it was a prank on Kuny? Like steal his clothes and all/ wait didn’t you steal his clothes?

Nadotheman: we should’ve. Dammit

Sergei_81: loops who win????

Loops: timmy lost.

Siriusly: wait it that why Nat was patting my butt? She said I’d been sitting in something? @blizzard!!!!

Blizzard: 😜

Siriusly: should I be offended? She did ask if it was okay. Wait. Why did I have to be in the photos? You’re not doing another collage?

Prongstar: of course! Last year was cap sleeping in different places.

Siriusly: you’re all idiots. How did you even get my phone??

Loops: ...

Siriusly: oh.

Talkiewalkie: awwwwww... 😜

Timmyforrealz: anyone seen my wallet?

Ollibear: I give up. 🙏🏻

[safebubblebycyg]

james n remus n the little things about their relationship:

♡ yes hi, please imagine 5'3 remus lupin and 6'3 james potter, because come on short remus is cuter than people give him credit for

♡ james loves to kiss remus on the forehead

♡ james is the only reason remus takes care of himself ("re, it's been a while, take your binder off" "have you eaten today? chocolate doesnt count" "love, it's late, you've studied enough for today, sleep is more important")

♡ remus is the only reason james doesnt forget things ("please tell me you weren't about to go to quidditch practice without your broom" "no james, chocolate will not kill sirius" "jamie...glasses.")

♡ lanky mcgee over here is the best cuddler remus has ever cuddled

♡ though james argues hes too boney and remus smacks him with a book

♡ sirius' favourite task is finding what broom closet the two snuck off to and coming to knock on the door ("why do we always leave the map with pads and not wormy?")

♡ peter leaves them both notes sometimes ("please light a candle after you two..have fun in here")

♡ remus is the worst in the mornings and james is absolutely the happiest

♡ "good morning, baby" "fuck off, asshole" -a daily routine

♡ the amount of times sirius and peter makes bets on what cuss word remus will let out first upon james finding out hes been over-binding is astonishing

♡ "re, why havent you taken your binder off in a while?" "shit, well-" ("damnit peter, take your five galleons")

♡ remus is an absolute baby, but only when it's just him and james ("merlins underpants, remus, are you alright? that was a nasty fall" "yeah, pads, im all good") ("JAMES I FELL AND IT HURT REAL BAD, KISS ME BETTER")

♡ james loves giving him forehead kisses

♡ remus steals all of james' sweaters

♡ cuddling no matter what

♡ james' hand stays on remus' back while in a crowd

♡late night talks

♡james and sirius almost got into a physical fight after sirius woke remus up

♡james tugs remus' hair all the time, for absolutely no reason, definitely not because the blush that always spreads across his face is 100% worth it

♡"james, wheres my binder?" "its hanging to dry, baby, you havent washed it in 3 weeks"

♡"james-" "no, it's not dry yet"

♡"moony-" "i already did your charms essay"

♡"love have you-" "your broom polish is on your bed"

♡now presenting a small fic cuz im sad and feel like it

♡♡♡

"fucking hell, again?" james pulled back from remus after hearing the familiar knocking pattern on the broom closet door. remus tightened his legs around the tallers waist.

"maybe he'll go away?"

"he never goes away" the two sighed, kissing once more before remus was let down and james opened the door to sirius black and, to his suprise, lily evans.

"oh, um, fancy seeing you two here" remus had already redone his tie and was now working on making james look presentable for lunch.

"and i thought sirius was joking about knowing how to find you two"

"im never wrong, evans, never about this at least" sirius smirked at his two friends (who were currently contemplating said friendship).

"right, well," james placed his hand on remus' back, rubbing it as a thanks for doing up his shirt and tie "what's for lunch? snogging does make one rather hungry"

*this was bad lmao, sorry*

[jfpisadearqueerdeer]

Ribs

Almost twenty-five years of Sirius and Remus sharing a bed.

Content Warnings: Abuse, self-harm, underage alcohol consumption, major character death, sex, and suicidal thoughts. Brief descriptions of insomnia, eating disorders, and depression.

DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THESE THINGS MIGHT TRIGGER YOU

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You're the only friend I need,

sharing beds like little kids,

laughing 'til our ribs get tough,

but that will never be enough.”

The first time Sirius and Remus shared a bed, it was November of their first year, about two weeks after Sirius’s birthday, and well, it wasn’t actually a bed. They had been up half the night with their friends in the common room, and were too exhausted (read: lazy) to go up to their dorm and decided to sleep on one of the couches.

“Hey, Remy,” Sirius said from his side of the couch when he realized that they were the last ones awake.

“Yeah,” Remus replied, yawning.

“Don’t tell James but I think you’re my best friend,” Sirius whispered. He nudged the other boy softly with his foot.

“I know that you’re my best friend, Si.”

Sirius smiled and said, “Night Remy.”

“Goodnight Si.”

They woke up the next morning with their legs tangled together and both blushed deeply.

They didn’t talk about it.

*

The first time that Sirius and Remus shared a bed after Remus told them that he was a werewolf, it was a couple of days before the full moon, and the early effects of the full moon were making Remus irritable.

“Are you okay, Remy?”

“No,” Remus said angrily, “I’m not.” He turned to Sirius forcefully, and barely noticed as the other boy took a step back. “I’m not fucking okay. I’m so hot that I feel like I’m fucking suffocating, I’ve scratched my skin raw, and I can’t fucking sleep. It’s not good enough that I turn into a monster every month, I have to deal with side effects.”

Sirius was trembling by the end of Remus’s speech, but he still took a step forward, taking the other boy’s hand. “I have some itching salve and well, I’m always cold, so I’m sure I could cool you down if we, ya know,” he trailed off.

“Are you suggesting we cuddle, Sirius,” Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. “And if you still can’t sleep, we can just talk all night.” I just want to help you.

“Okay,” Remus said. He nodded. “Are you sure, though?”

“I’ll go get the itching salve.”

*

The first time Sirius and Remus shared a bed in their second year, Remus asked him a question.

“Do your parents hit you?”

Sirius looked terrified when Remus asked him that. He tried to cover himself up, tried to hide, which told Remus everything. “They do, don’t they?”

Sirius looked so ashamed when he nodded in the affirmative. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Can I see,” Remus asked, feeling really weird about it. “I just want to know how bad it is.”

Sirius hesitated for a moment, but lifted up his shirt, and Remus immediately saw scars and bruises lining the other boy’s hips and ribs, and as Sirius kept lifting his shirt, he followed the marks all the way up to the boy’s collarbone.

Tears sprung his eyes. “Merlin,” he breathed.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

Remus ignored what Sirius said and whispered, “I should go get the bruise salve from the bathroom. It will help clear some of this up. Hopefully.”

A few minutes later, they were sitting on Sirius’s bed, and Remus was rubbing the salve into the bruises all over his friend’s torso. He tried not to react at how bad the injuries were, but let out a small gasp when he saw the thin scars lining Sirius’s wrist. But he didn’t say anything.

His friend needed help and he didn’t want to have to make any promises that he couldn’t keep.

*

The first time that Remus and Sirius shared a bed after Sirius and Marlene got together, Sirius said, “I don’t think I love her. But I think I could.”

And Remus didn’t understand.

“If you don’t love her, shouldn’t you break up with her,” he asked. He didn’t like Sirius being with Marlene, and he definitely didn’t like it if Sirius wasn’t happy.

“I don’t think she loves me either. But the relationship makes sense,” Sirius said, biting his lip.

“I don’t think it makes sense,” Remus replied.

“Well, who do you think I should be with,” Sirius asked.

A few images of him and Sirius tangled together in each of their beds flashed through Remus’s mind, but he shook his head. It was a stupid idea. They couldn’t be together.

“I don’t know. I think we’re too young to be in love.”

Sirius shook his head, and they stopped talking about it.

*

The first time Sirius and Remus shared a bed after Sirius realized that he liked Remus, they didn’t talk much.

It was after James, Peter, and Kingsley had gone to bed, and Sirius just slipped into bed beside Remus, who was reading an old muggle novel by wand light.

“You okay,” Remus asked him, worried.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he replied. “Figured you wouldn’t mind if I slept with you tonight. I always fall asleep easier when I’m with you.” He snuggled more into the bed.

“Of course you can,” Remus said, setting down his book and wand. He laid his head down next to Sirius’s. “I couldn’t sleep either.” He moved closer to Sirius before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

“I love you, Remy. I wish I could tell you that.”

*

The first time that Sirius and Remus shared a bed at James’ house, Remus cried so hard that it was difficult to breathe.

“I wish you didn’t have to go back. I wish I could just steal you away and we could run away and you would never have to go back there again,” he said, still crying.

“You know I have to go back. To check on Reggie.”

“I know. I’m still worried though,” Remus replied.

“I’ll be okay. I always am.”

They both knew he was lying.

*

The first time that Sirius and Remus shared a bed while they were drunk, they sloppily made out.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything,” Sirius said, his lips just a couple of millimeters away from Remus’. “It’s just kissing.” And he pulled the other boy to him.

Remus pulled away from the kiss, and said, “Yep. Just a little bit of snogging between friends. No big deal. No more talking though. Just kissing.”

Sirius’ eyes shot up, and he nodded excitedly. He began kissing Remus again, parting his lips happily when Remus swiped his tongue across his lips. He tasted like the vodka that Marlene had snuck from home.

The next morning, neither of them said anything about what had happened. After all, it wasn’t a big deal.

*

The first time Sirius and Remus shared a bed after Sirius became an animagus, Remus thanked Sirius over and over.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,” Remus said. “Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

Sirius laughed and said, “It was no big deal. I was just doing something that would help my friend.”

“It was more than that,” Remus said, glancing at Sirius’s lips quickly before looking into his eyes.

They almost kissed.

They didn’t kiss.

*

The first time Sirius and Remus shared a bed after they got together, they had both been crying.

“I missed you so much,” Sirius whispered, “I never should have done what I did. I’m so sorry.”

“I already forgave you, Si,” Remus said. “Now let me take a look at you. I know you haven’t been taking care of yourself.” He took a deep breath to prepare himself.

Sirius lifted his shirt and took it off swiftly, exposing the fact that his ribs were basically poking out of his skin and the long row of scars lining his arms. Remus choked over a sob, trying not to cry. He pulled Sirius close to him, and whispered, “You can’t keep doing this.”

“I know,” Sirius said. “I know I have a problem. But every time that something bad happens, it’s like I’m reliving everything bad that has ever happened to me over and over. And I feel like I’ll never be happy again.”

Remus kissed Sirius’ cheek and said, “It’ll be okay, Si. I promise. I’ll help you do whatever it takes to make sure you’ll be okay. But… you need to talk to somebody. Who isn’t me. McGonagall or whoever.”

“Okay,” Sirius said. “Kiss me again?”

Remus kissed him again.

*

The first time Sirius and Remus shared a bed after Regulus disappeared, Remus had carried him to bed all the way from the astronomy tower.

Sirius had almost jumped before Remus had found him. Remus couldn’t believe how close he had been to losing him.

He looked at Sirius, lying beside him and wished that life wasn’t so complicated. He wished he could just be young and in love with his boyfriend. He cried.

But when Sirius moved closer to Remus in his sleep, Remus had hope. Hope that everything would be okay.

And he fell asleep, his arms around Sirius.

*

The first time that Sirius and Remus shared a bed at Remus’s house, Sirius kissed Remus all over.

“Si,” Remus begged, “my parents are in the house.” Sirius smirked into the dip of Remus’ hip.

“You better be quiet then, Remy,” Sirius said, as innocently as he could with the majority of his clothes gone.

“I swear to Merlin, you don’t even like hooking up when James and Pete are in the dorm, but you’ll do this,” Remus said, moaning a little bit as Sirius kissed the inside of his thigh. Sirius glanced up at him, chuckling a bit.

“What can I say? Seeing you drive today was so hot,” Sirius said, shrugging. “And you didn’t seem to mind when I was stripping you bare a couple of minutes ago.”

“Trust me, I want this just as much as you do, Si. But I don’t want my mom hearing us have sex,” Remus said, clenching his teeth.

“Easy fix,” Sirius said, pulling out his wand and casting a silencing charm around the room. “Now you can scream out my name as loud as you want.”

*

The first time that Sirius and Remus shared a bed after getting their own apartment, they talked all night.

“I don’t feel that different, even though everything has changed,’ Sirius said, looking towards Remus.

“I get what you mean. We’ve graduated, we’re 18, we live together, but sometimes I feel like I’m that 11-year-old kid who was so nervous that he stuttered the first time he spoke to the boy that would become his boyfriend,” Remus said.

They laughed as they remembered that.

“I don’t know. I kind of wish we were still that young. Wish we could just be kids. I feel like we never got to just be kids, no worries in the world,” Sirius said.

“That was never going to happen.”

*

They shared a bed together hundreds of times after that, sometimes laughing, sometimes talking, sometimes completely silent. But most they cried.

War took everyone. Everything.

And eventually, it took them.

*

The first time Sirius and Remus shared a bed after Sirius escaped Azkaban, Remus mapped out Sirius’s body with his hands. He cried looking at all the scars. He thought of when they were young when his thumb grazed over Sirius’s most sensitive spots, the spots he used to kiss over and over.

“You should have come to me as soon as you broke out. I would have believed you,” Remus said, crying.

“I didn’t know that, Remy,” Sirius said.

“How could you ever think that I wouldn’t believe you,” he asked desperately, not understanding.

“I lost all hope in there,” Sirius said. “The hope that you would ever believe me was the first to go.”

*

The last time Sirius and Remus shared a bed together, they were in Grimmauld Place. They had just woken up, tangled up with each other, and Sirius had a bad feeling.

“Remy. If I don’t make it out of all of this alive…”

“Don’t say that,” Remus begged.

“I need to. If I don’t make it out alive,” Sirius continued, “Promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Promise me you’ll never love anyone as much as love me,” Sirius said, tears streaming down his face.

“I promise,” Remus said, kissing Sirius.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Sirius died later that same day.

*

The first time Remus went to bed alone after Sirius died, he felt empty. The bed felt empty, yes, but mostly, he felt empty. He felt like a huge hole had been carved into his chest. He wanted to die. Instead, he went to sleep.

And all of his dreams went back to the words they had exchanged just hours before it happened.

[nightashes]

The Alliance Sucks, the Rebellion’s Not Much Better, but at Least We Have Each Other

A/N: Yes. I know it’s a crazy long title. Fight me. Shortened title: At Least We Have Each Other. Longer title: the alliance sucks, the rebellion’s not much better, but at least we have each other (and some guns). This is a discord gift for @sometimes-love-is-enough. I hope you enjoy! This is the longest one-shot I have written so far! woot woot!

Summary: Being a criminal in space is difficult. Being a criminal in space that just pulled a job on a government facility is worse. Being a criminal in space that just pulled a job on a government facility and somehow picked up a stowaway is a recipe for disaster. Luckily this crew specializes in disasters. 

Meet the Crew:

Janus: the Captain. He can demand respect and obedience with nothing more than a glare.

Virgil: the pilot and emergency medic.. He’s no doctor but he’s gotten the crew through a fair amount of scrapes.

Roman: the second-in-command. He helps Virgil out in navigation and generally makes sure the ship runs smoothly and is always fully stocked with everything they could possibly need.

Remus: he’s the muscle and he makes sure the ship never remains stocked.

And of course Patton: the engineer. Without him this ship would be nothing more than a crappy piece of modern art.

Warnings: an assortment of weapons, a kid with a gun, blood, violence, explosions, almost major character death

writing masterlist - ao3 version

***

The thrum of the engine was a constant backdrop. It was the hiss of a living breathing machine. More than a sound, the vibrations were a blanket laid over them, an understanding of protection. The engine was awake and they were finally on the move. As long as they were moving, they were safe. Janus walked along the corridor, his gloved hand passing over the metal walls, feeling the buzz of the engine beneath his fingertips. He quirked a smile. 

In the distance he could hear the shouts of his crew, arguing passionately. It seemed there was always something to argue about with them and Janus hardly did much to prevent it. If it went too far, he would step in and knock some sense into them. But in the end, this is just how they were. They resolved everything with a passionate debate.  Everything .

The door to his room slid open at the touch of his hand. He swept off his overcoat and settled heavily onto his bed. It had not been an easy job. They would have to lie low for a while. Stealing from the Alliance was like that. Nothing but trouble. But at least they would get paid. And any chance to stick it to those government lackeys was a welcome one as far as he was concerned. For now all he wanted to do was sleep. Kicking off his boots and sliding out of his suspenders, Janus collapsed back onto his pillow. 

“Dim the lights, Serenity.” He mumbled to the ship’s AI, already drifting off to sleep.

Bang!

“Janus! They won’t let me-”

“Janus! You can’t let Remus hurt-”

“Janus! We need your help. There’s-”

“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” Janus yanked open the door.

Glaring down at his crew, even with his ruffled hair and wrinkled shirt he cut an intimidating figure. His eyes bored into their souls, shutting down any ideas of speaking out of turn.

“One at a time you will explain to me what is wrong in as few words as possible. Virgil, you first.”

“Roman found a stowaway. He’s with him now.”

“A stowaway.  Fantastic.  Just what we needed.” The captain spat. “Remus?”

“Obviously, we should just toss the little squirt out into space. But no one here will let me.”

Janus turned to the last one there. “And I suppose that’s why you’re upset, Patton?”

“He’s just a kid.” The empathetic engineer practically pleaded.

“Where is he?”

“Storage. Roman found him while securing the prototype.” Virgil explained.

“So the kid’s seen what we have.  More wonderful news .” He drew his hand down his face with a sigh. “Alright, you three stay here. I’ll go figure this out.”

***

Roman was sitting on the floor, his katana had been drawn and set aside behind him. He was talking in a low voice to the kid. Across from him, the stowaway sat with his back ramrod straight as his fingers played with the laces of his shoe. The kid was nervous but trying his best to hide it. Whatever Roman was saying the kid wasn’t responding.

Janus rapped the wall with his knuckles. The kid whipped his head around to face him. There was an intelligence in those eyes. He stared with a calculating gaze that was unusual for one so young. He was dressed smartly, wearing pressed slacks and a vest, obviously a child of wealth. Now what would lead a kid of status to stowaway on a ship of thieves?

“Ah, Captain. Good thing you're here. He won’t speak to anyone but you.” Roman spoke, trying his best to keep his voice calm and even, an usual occurrence for the boisterous first mate.

“You’re the captain?” The child asked, unimpressed.

“No, I’m the cook. Everyone calls me Captain because if they don’t I’ll spit in their food.” Janus whispered conspiratorially. 

The kid squinted his eyes in suspicion and confusion. “You are being dishonest.”

A stowaway that didn’t understand sarcasm, this would certainly be interesting. “You’re right. I am being dishonest. You’ve figured it out, I am the captain. And now I need you to answer my questions. Can you tell me why you’ve decided to stowaway on my ship?”

The kid looked between the two of them, he tried to speak with confidence but there was a spark of fear hidden within his eyes. Janus wondered if Roman could see it too.

“I want to join you.” The kid spoke simply.

Roman raised his brow and Janus could not hold back a chuckle. The kid tightened his fists, preparing himself for a debate. “I’m smart. I can solve problems and help map out battle plans better than anyone in my class.”

“I’m sure you can, kid,” Janus shook his head incredulously. “But you see we don’t really have any need for a battle tactician. And as for plans and problems, no one can beat my second-in-command here.” Janus clapped his hand around Roman’s shoulder.

“It’s true. If he brought you on, I might grow jealous.” Roman smirked.

“Well, then I could join another ship. One that needs me.” The kid refused to be persuaded.

The captain sighed. Alright, the straight-forward approach. “Look, you aren’t joining a ship of smugglers and thieves. We won’t take you and there is no way I’m letting you join any other ship. You’d be killed in a month. Why don’t you tell me where your home is and we can drop you off?”

“Smugglers? I thought-” The kid’s fear was unmistakable now. “I may have made a miscalculation.” 

“Did you now?”

“You’re not with the rebellion?”

“Most definitely not.”

“You attacked the Northern Outpost on Galiero. Why would you do that if you are not with the rebellion?”

“Ah, see… we can’t really tell you about that. But-”

The kid was not listening, scanning the room he pointed to the prototype, cutting Janus off, “It’s because of that. Isn’t it?’

The prototype sat beside a smuggling hold. It was a large piece of machinery, all sharp edges and mysterious buttons, waiting patiently to be hidden snuggly away, the same hold that the kid must have found and stowed away in. They would need to reevaluate their hidden compartments if a kid could find them.

The kid continued, “If you’re smugglers, then you can take me to the rebels. I can pay you.”

“We’re not taking you to any rebels,” Roman asserted. “We’re taking you home. To your family.”

“My family is gone.” The kid spat out venomously. “It was just my dad and I. And then the Alliance took him away. They said his books were spreading ‘treasonist ideologies.’ They took him away and forced me into a new family. I’m not going back there. I’m joining the rebellion and I’m going to destroy the Alliance.”

There was a pause of silence. Janus and Roman gave each other a meaningful look. “Alright, we won’t take you home,” Janus finally proclaimed. “Roman, why don’t you take the kid here and find him something to eat?”

“Sure thing, Cap.”

“Will you take me to the rebellion?” The kid questioned, refusing to leave without a confirmation.

“Of course, kid.” At that moment, Janus was thankful that the kid couldn’t understand sarcasm.

“It’s Logan. Logan Sanders.” Their stowaway clarified as he allowed himself to be led away.

The captain sighed heavily. He needed to speak with his pilot.

***

“You want to what?” Virgil nearly yelled.

“I want to rescue the boy’s father from the Alliance prisons.”

“You’re insane! You’ve lost it! The Captain’s lost it and we are all going to die!”

“Virgil, calm down. We can do it, as long as we play it smart.”

“No!” Virgil shook his head. “No, there is no ‘playing this smart.’ We are running hot right now. We have a stolen prototype in our storage that the Alliance would happily kill us to regain and now we have a kid on board to worry about! Going anywhere near Alliance space right now is suicide. We need to be heading to the outer planets as fast as our jets can carry us.”

“I know. But we aren’t. Logan needs his father. Or would you rather we hand him over to the rebellion so they can use him as cannon fodder?”

Virgil hissed out a curse. “You can’t do that. You can’t just do that. Guilting me into this madness...” He muttered as he began angrily punching in codes into the panel.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

“If we die, I’ll never forgive you.”

“I know.” Janus answers.

The pilot sighed as the computer beeped back at him. “Remy thinks he can figure out where the kid’s father would have been taken. Last name Sanders, right? We can start heading to the center planets now while he does his thing. It’ll take a couple days, we’ll need to go through the Mirdian belt if we want to avoid detection. By the time we arrive, Remy should have all the info we need to get ourselves killed on a rescue mission.”

“ Perfect. I’ll let the others know.”

***

The kid was pacing. The kid was pacing  a lot  and it was driving Remus up the wall. Back and forth. Back and forth, the kid walked. Glancing this way and that and generally being a distracting nuisance. Remus was sitting at the table, attempting to clean one of his guns in peace. He loved to tinker with his weapons in the kitchen. Best way to work and devour snacks all at once. Patton hated it of course. But Patton was busy helping Virgil. Something about making sure their approach to the planet didn’t trip off any sensors. All Remus knew was that he was supposed to have the kitchen to himself to prepare for the mission. But now there was a kid here. A kid he was not allowed to eject into space. Which Remus considered a travesty. At least the kid being here meant they were going to break into a prison! Remus has always wanted to break into a prison, ever since he and Roman had run away from home looking for adventure. And now he had his chance. He was ready to go. His skin was buzzing in excitement and he was making sure all of his precious babies were loaded and ready for a fight. But his perfect happy bubble was being ruined by  pacing.

“Would you just sit down already!” Remus hollowered at the kid. Logan glanced his way unimpressed and continued to pace.

Remus grumbled in distaste. The kid was suspicious of them, Remus knew it. He may not be able to read body language like Janus, but the kid was definitely suspicious. Remus wasn’t sure how or when but sometime during their trip Logan had figured out they were heading the wrong way to meet up with the rebellion. And now he was pacing. Janus didn’t want them to tell Logan their plans. Something about getting his hopes up. Whatever the reason, it was complete bull. And Remus would know. He specialized in bullcrap.

The kid was pacing. Pacing and planning. An unpredictable plan from an unknown variable meant chaos. Remus liked chaos. But he also liked his friends. And a plan like that, on a mission like this, could get his friends killed.

“Hey kid, you want to know a secret?”

Logan stared back at Remus, silently… waiting.

“We aren’t heading towards the rebellion.” Remus grinned deviously.

There was a pause. Logan searched Remus’s face, looking for who knows what. “You’re taking me to the Alliance. You’re turning me in for clemency. Aren’t you?”

“Hah!” Remus barked out a laugh. “Turning you in for clemency? Hell no! We may not be with the rebellion but our hate for the Alliance runs just as deep.”

“Then why aren’t you with them? Why not help them fight?” Logan’s curiosity was struck.

“Because the rebellion is totally insane! And not in the fun way if you know what I mean?” Logan gave him a look that told Remus he, in fact, did not know what he meant. Remus continued, “They’re one of those defeat-the-evil-empire-by-any-means-necessary types. They believe in their own bullcrap. Trust me, kid, you  don’t  want to work for them.”

“What are you going to do with me then?” Logan pressed.

“We’re going to do something insane. And I do mean insane in the fun way.” Remus winked conspiratorially.

“That does nothing to reassure me.” Logan deadpanned, which caused Remus to let loose a big belly laugh. The sound bouncing around the kitchen.

“You’re alright, kid,” wiping away a tear of mirth, Remus chuckled. “Hey, come over here.” he gestured towards the table, where an assortment of his weapons had been laid out. “We’re going to be leaving in a minute to have our fun. It’ll just be you and Patton on the ship while we’re out. Nothing should happen, but just in case why don’t you take Linda here.” He shoved a small laser gun into the kid’s hands. “She’ll take care of you if any of the insanity comes this way, Alright?”

Logan stared down at the gun in his hands. His brow knitted together in confusion, but when he looked up there was gratitude in his eyes. He nodded his understanding.

A cough came from the doorway. Remus looked up to find the Captain standing in the entrance, looking with fondness at the scene in front of him. “Well, I hope I’m not interrupting. Just thought I’d let you know we’ll be touching down now.” Janus explained, a twinkle of mirth in his eyes. “Remus, meet me in the hold once you’ve finished. Patton will be here in a minute to take care of the kid. Said something about making you guys a hot sugary drink. That should be fun, right kid?”

Logan stared back at the Captain. His fingers feeling the weight of the weapon in his hands. He positioned himself and raised the gun, aiming it directly at the Captain’s face. His eyes were cold and his hands barely shook. “If you betray me I’ll shoot you.”

Remus smiled mischievously as Janus shot him a look of disbelief,  “What did you teach him?”

“Nothing, Cap. This is all him! The kid’s a natural.”

Janus wisely decided to drop it at that. “Just pack up your things and meet me down there.”

“Righty-o, Boss Man!” Remus waved to Janus’s departing back before turning back to his new friend. “Alright, we won’t be seeing each other until nightfall. But don’t you worry, nothing’s gonna harm you. You're under my protection now, like a little chaos apprentice.” He gave a big toothy grin. “And when I have your back nothing bad will ever happen to you. Got it?”

The kid grips the weapon in his hands. “You won’t tell me what you are doing?”

“Nah, Cap wants to keep it a surprise. But trust me, you’ll love it!”

“Alright, I trust you.”

***

It was dusty, so very dusty. The wind blew it everywhere. Beneath the scarves wrapped around their faces. Crusting over the glass of their goggles. And filling their boots, as they dragged their feet further and further through the dunes. Virgil shouldered his pack higher, trying his best to adjust whatever was poking harshly into his back. The pack was heavy, filled to the brim with ammo for whatever Remus had brought along. The pack pulled his weight deeper into the sand with each and every step. They had landed several klicks away from the prison, better to go undetected until they were ready for a fight. But this meant a hike. A hike carrying bulging packs full of everything they will need for the mission ahead.

The sun was clouded. Obscured by the grit blowing around them. But the heat was real. Virgil could feel the sweat beading down his back. Drops pooled around his hairline, dripping into his scarf. Virgil desperately ached to wipe them away. But he knew it would only make the situation worse, covered as his hands were with dust.

As evening neared, they finally arrived within striking distance of the prison. They settled down to wait. Munching on protein packs and chugging water from their skins. Janus passed around an old communicator. A flashing mugshot hovered there from all to see.

Their Captain crouched down beside them, speaking as clearly and precisely as he could. “Thomas Sanders. Civilian. Divorced. Father of one and author of the banned book:  The Lost Art of Community . He was arrested half a lunar cycle ago for perpetuating treasonist ideologies. Remy has provided us with a map of the building and yard. The asset will be held within solitary confinement.”

Virgil swiped through the communicator. Seeing the images zoom pass, sure enough a map popped up. An area colored yellow, stood out from the rest: solitary confinement. Virgil mumbled to himself, repeating what he saw, forcing the images into his memory. 

“We’ll be doing a Surprise Secret,” Janus continued. “Remus and Roman, you’ll cover the Surprise. Virgil and I will take care of the Secret. Understood?”

Words of confirmation echoed out. 

“Alright, begin your preparations. At dusk, we strike.”

***

The sky was beginning to darken. The signal would come any minute now. Virgil thought to himself as he lay on his stomach, he shifted to ensure the katana did not dig into his stomach. Roman had been kind enough to lend it for their mission. Virgil scanned the prison through his binoculars. He couldn’t see the twins, there happened to be a building in the way, but he knew they were there. On the other side, readying their surprise. It had to be soon. Any minute now. Virgil shifted nervously. 

Janus laid a hand on his shoulder, “Virgil, it’ll be okay. We’ve done this before. Only difference is: now the asset is a person. We’ve got this.”

Virgil sighed heavily, “There’s a lot more different than that. It’s-”

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Time to go. They shot to their feet, sprinting towards the prison. The firefight had begun.

***

Remus was having the time of his life. Guards were pouring out of the front of the building, firing frantically at their position. But Roman and Remus were smuggly secured in a foxhole they had prepared for this very reason. They let loose a torrent of fire upon the building. Doing their best to be as loud as possible. Truly, this was the best job of their life. And all they had to do now was draw as much attention as possible, while not getting killed. Easy peasy. 

Roman yelled, “Reload!” Beside him. Ducking down to grab ammunition from one of the packs that lay open in their hole. 

Remus screamed as he laid down cover fire. “Eat lasers, ya little piggies!!”

A shot whizzed past his ear. Remus ducked his head a little lower. Whoa! That was close. His eyes were wide and his smile couldn’t possibly grow wider. This was living the dream. Roman patted his shoulder signaling he was ready. And together they rose again. Firing an array of blazing lasers down at the swarming guards streaming from the compound beneath them.

***

Virgil and Janus had made it onto the roof. No one had noticed them yet. Roman and Remus were truly doing a fantastic job of drawing everyone’s attention. Still, Virgil couldn’t help but worry. His gut twisted at the thought that his two crewmates were fighting against an entire prison worth of guards with nothing but their position, their weapons, and their skill to protect them. 

He had long since abandoned the religion of his home planet. But as he skittered the edges of the cell block, seeing the lights of the lasers paint the horizon like a violent sunset. For the first time in years he felt the urge to wish. To wish that the great being of fate that pulled on the strings of the universe, fighting for the balance of destruction and creation, really was real. Somewhere outside of their dimension, pulling on the strings and maybe just maybe, ensuring that they would make it out okay. That the balance fell on their side today.

Virgil ran low across the roof, Janus followed closely behind in his footsteps. They glided across the blacktop, weaving between obstacles and doing their best to hide whenever possible. Against the darkened sky, they were but a pair of dancing shadows. While the front of the building was lit up in an array of lights and screams, a display of dazzling laser fire. On the roof, all was silent and dark.

He whispered to himself, repeating the layout of the map. East, a little further. They were close. So very close. Roman and Remus just had to hold on a little bit longer. Janus whipped out a thermal reader, readying himself. They had arrived at the section for solitary confinement.

The thermal reader lit up softly, Janus shifted his coat to hide the light as best as he could. Moving right and left, he worked his way across the roof. Virgil had brought out his own, starting at the other end of the section, he crouched low over the screen, he appeared as a hovering figure, coasting his way over the building, moving eerily similar to a predator. A beast-like crouch reminiscent of the predators of Loskor searching the ground for hidden Storles’s burrows.

A call broke his concentration. Janus gestured him over. Sure, enough his screen was filled with the image of red. A humanoid figure pacing in the cell below. Virgil pulled out Roman’s katana. At the push of a button, the blade pulsed red. He steadied his stance, holding the blade firmly in his fist, Virgil pushed it down into the blacktop of the roof. The blade hissed, sparks flew, spitting gravel into the air. Virgil pushed further, fighting against the force. On Janus’s screen, the figure was stock-still and squirreled away into a corner, the body stared up at the ceiling, watching their progress. Virgil pulled the blade across. Slowly, he moved around, forming the rough shape of a rounded box. He removed the katana and extinguished the fire. Now, came the tricky part. Thankfully, the figure appeared content to stay in the corner.

Virgil kicked down forcibly onto the weakened rooftop. The cut-out shape moved an inch inward, creating a large person-sized depression in the otherwise smooth surface. Sturdy sucker. Virgil kicked again.

The chunk of rooftop collapsed into the cell below, spraying chunks of rock across the frightened prison. He stared up at them through the hole. Through the dust and dirt, Virgil could make out the face of their target, Thomas Sanders. 

“Your son, Logan, is waiting for you,” Janus caught the attention of the prisoner. “Ready to go?”

“My son?” Thomas asked, dumbstruck.

Virgil lay down on the roof at the edge of the hole. Reaching down into the cell, his fingers stretching towards the prisoner. “We have to go now! Grab on.”

Thomas glanced between them, searching their faces in a similar fashion to the way Logan often would. Satisfied with what he saw, he jumped to catch Virgil’s outstretched palm. Virgil groaned under the force of a grown man hanging from his arm, but he managed to hang on. He pulled his arm up. Janus came round and offered his own hand out to the man. Once they had a hold on each of his arms, they worked together. Pulling the man up and out of the darkened prison cell. They collapsed against the rooftop, huffing.

“Time to break radio silence.” Janus spoke. Yanking a communicator from his belt, he brought it up to his lips. “The secret is done. Time for the final surprise.” 

The communicator crackled noisily. The sounds of static and explosion pouring through. A voice broke through the noise. “Final surprise incoming. Brace for impact.”

Virgil jumped to his feet, pulling the prison to standing position. “There’s going to be a big blast. When it happens we’ve got to run to the edge of the roof as fast as we can. You understand?”

The prisoner nodded his head, frantically. Clearly, this man was out of his depths. But he seemed focused and ready to listen. And right now, that’s all they needed.

The building shook violently. The front of the prison crumbled inward slightly as a bright ball of light stung their eyes.

“To the front! Now!” Janus yelled.

The trio ran.

***

The firefight was really starting to get exciting, Remus thought. Their foxhole was taking heavy damage and their ammunition was beginning to run low. They had to wrap this up soon if they wanted to get off this hellhole-of-a-planet unscathed. Although getting a little scathed was alright in Remus’s opinion. One can never have too many battle scars, afterall. In truth, Remus never really feared injury, not for himself at least. If the personification of death came strolling up to Remus one day, he’d probably greet him to a challenge of arm wrestling, just to see who was stronger, of course. Now, if death came for someone else, someone Remus cared about, that was another story. And so when the call from Janus came in, Remus was happy to say that thing’s seemed to be working out.

Remus set up the support stand as Roman answered, “Final Surprise incoming, brace for impact.”

From the last pack, the one that had laid unopened during the battle, Remus pulled out, what he affectionately called, The Final Surprise. A missile laser launcher that could fire a laser bolt big enough to put a hole through a military class transporter. This was going to be fun! He set it in place on the support stand and lined up his shot. Aiming for the front of the prison, his smile grew wider. The line of guard’s that had formed to fight off the “invasion” had no idea what was about to come their way.

Remus fired the Final Surprise. So named because in life there is only one final surprise.

The front of the building exploded in fire. The frame shook. The doors had been blasted off. Prisoners had been freed. And now the guards were fighting a battle on two fronts.

Remus began hurriedly packing up whatever supplies they would have the time to take. Roman took to laying down cover fire. As he packed, he took to watching the building attentively. Looking for the three figures that were currently sprinting across the rooftop. He spotted their silhouettes as they neared the building’s front. All three were there. They were safe.

Over the cacophony of battles cries and weapons firing, a new sound was heard. The thrum of an engine. Most importantly the thrum of the engine of their ship. It roared violently, the buzz of a thousand hornets that was felt deep in the bones. The ship tore through the air and came to hover directly behind them. The door had been lowered, open and ready for them to enter.

“Ready to board?” Roman shouted to his brother.

Remus was clutching the Final Surprise to his chest. The packs had been piled onto his shoulders, two to an arm. He felt positively giddy. They left their foxhole behind and jumped aboard. The guards that weren’t fighting prisoners had shifted to fire upon the ship. It was time to leave.

“We’re on! Move to the rooftop.” Roman radioed Patton. 

The ship rose higher, coming level to the rooftop. It soared over the heads of the guard. The ship rattled as it took laser fire to its hull. The trio watched them as they flew in closer. Virgil jumped aboard first. Running in to hug the twins. 

“God, we’re alive!” He cheered.

Janus and the prisoner jumped together. The captain steadying the civilian. He helped him through the door and safely inside the ship’s storage.

Everyone was here. They were safe. They had successfully completed a prison break!

The ship began to rise from the building. The door was beginning to close when Remus saw it. 

The prison had launched their own ship. A prison transport. It had limited weapon capabilities. But their ship was already taking fire. They couldn’t risk it.

Remus was still holding onto the Final Surprise. There wasn’t anytime to set up the support stand. He dropped the packs and slammed his fist against the button to hold open the door. The others looked his way in shock as he squared up on the half-closed ramp. He hefted the Final Surprise against his shoulder. The transport ship came into his crosshairs. Remus fired.

There is a reason that the Final Surprise requires a support stand to fire. The recoil. The laser bolt left the launcher. It blasted through the crack in the open door. And Remus, he was thrown back. The last thing he saw before everything went black was the prisoner transport explode into a mess of shrapnel.

What a way to end a prison break.

***

The dreadful thing about having a surprise stowaway on board, is that other things fall to the wayside. Janus knew he had meant to give the order to hide away the prototype. But with planning a prisoner break, dealing with a child that was too smart for his own good, and trying their best to fly to a prison planet without being detected: They had just never gotten around to it.

Janus watched in horror as Remus was thrown across the ship’s storage and directly into the path of the prototype. His body smacked against its side. And blood pooled across his shirt. The crew rushed to his side. Janus barking orders to give him space.

Janus didn’t even know what the prototype did. He had just been hired to steal it. The customer was paying well and it was a chance to stick it to the Alliance. He had jumped at the chance. Now, he stood beside his bleeding crewmate. Someone had passed him a wad of gauze, probably Virgil. He was pressing them the best he could to the wound, working around the projectile. For Remus had been impaled upon a metal protrusion on the device.

Virgil was frantic. He had brought out the first aid kit and was doing what he could. But none of them knew what to do with a wound like this. How could they? They were smugglers, not doctors.

“Virgil, Patton needs you.” Janus stared at their frantic pilot.

Virgil wordlessly shook his head no.

“You need to fly us out of here.”

“He needs help.” Virgil argued.

“And what are you going to do here? We’ve got him. But right now, we need you to get us out of here. Patton doesn’t know how to leave a planet’s atmosphere. If you don’t pilot this ship we all die. And it will be your fault.” Janus's voice was as cold as stone. It was times like these that he knew why he had become their Captain. To be a Captain, meant at times you had to be cruel.

And the look Virgil shot him as he left. He knew he would pay for what he had said. But at least, they would survive. Janus could feel the blood pool around his hands. Well, most of them.

Roman was at his side now. He gripped his brother’s hand in his own. “Remus. Remus, wake up. You’ve got to wake up.”

“I’m sorry, Roman.” The captain spoke. “Are there any death rites on your planet?”

“No.” A shout came from behind them. Janus turned his head to see the stowaway. His arms were raised, just as had they had been this morning. The gun Remus had given him was held firmly in his hands. “You have to save him.”

“I’m sorry, kid. There’s nothing we can do.”

“YOU HAVE TO!” He shouted. His father crouched beside him. Whispering and trying to coax the weapon from his hands.

Logan shoved his father’s arms away. “The rebellion! Take him to the rebellion! They’ll save him!”

Roman lifted his head to look at the kid, “I would never take him back there. You don’t know what they’re like. When we left… when we found this ship, we promised we’d never return to them.”

“But… but… he can’t just die! He said he’d protect me!”

“There’s another way,” Thomas spoke. “The Alliance, the Rebellion. They aren’t the only people out there. There are others that can help.”

“What do you mean?” Roman asked, hope tinting his words.

“I was jailed for a book about community. Because in community is where our strength lies. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. There are others like me. Spread out throughout the universe, on every planet. If you showed me a map, I could take us to someone nearby. People that can help. People that help not because they want to use you for their own ends, but because they want to help. Because they believe in community.”

Janus looks to Roman. The twin nodded his head. Janus spoke, “Logan, could you show your father to the cockpit.”

Janus hated the Alliance. They were cruel. The rebellion wasn’t much better. But perhaps, with each other, with this  community and the family that they had found on this ship, they could make it. They could survive. And maybe. Just maybe if this plan was just crazy enough to work. They could save Remus too.

Janus pressed a kiss to Remus’s forehead. “Don’t worry. We’re here for you.”

***

Remus awoke wrapped in warmth. The sounds of laughter and chattering voices drifted to his ears. He could hear his brother, his voice loud and boisterous. He was telling a story of their childhood. The time they had stolen a whole pie from the baker and eaten the entire thing in one afternoon. There was the giggle of a child. Logan? His captain spoke next, Janus making some sarcastic comment. Patton admonished the captain. He could hear the smirk in Virgil’s voice, as the pilot joined in.

Was everyone here? Had they all made it?

Remus opened his eyes. He was in bed. Not his bunk but an actual bed, in an actual bedroom. His crew sat in chairs around him. There was a beam of sunlight streaming in through a window. They weren’t on the ship. Where were they?

“Hey sleepy guy, welcome back!” Patton cooed.

His brother reached out his hand and squeezed his shoulder. “Looks like you got your wish, bro. A real-life prison break. But I’m telling you now, we are never doing that again.”

The chaotic twin grinned at his family. He looked down at his bandaged chest and then back to his loved ones, “it was totally worth it.”

Virgil looked about ready to punch him for that comment. But Logan beat him to it, slapping his arm only somewhat playfully, “You are never allowed to do something like that again. Ever again! Okay?” He commanded.

“Aw, alright... But only because there is still so much I want to teach you.”

Logan nodded his head in acknowledgement, “As long as you allow me to teach you about basic safety!”

“Oh, I like this kid.” Virgil chuckled.

And soon everyone had joined in. Sharing stories all about his lack of basic self-preservation instincts.

***

Janus watched as his crew delighted in Remus’s return to the land of the conscious. Turns out Thomas had been right, together they could survive.

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