#he cried when Victor died even tho he hated him more than anything just because it meant he had no purpose anymore

[afterartist]

Over 200 years and still most people don’t know how Frankenstein ends

[feelingisshit]

Don’t Know Me - Stan Uris x Reader

Warnings - swearing, sexual mentions, victor and belch, this is my first time writing for IT

Stan and I had never really got along, it wasn’t like we always hated each other but we really never clicked as I did with the rest of the losers. We just never really had anything in common except our friends which obviously wasn’t enough because those friends started to become what was pushing us even farther apart. A snide remark from Richie here and there and then the rest of the group opting to believe Stan more often than not put more tension on our relationship and soon enough both of us did hate each other. 

“God, why do you have to correct everything I say? You’re such a fucking know-it-all Stanley!” Stan scoffed and rolled his eyes so aggressively that I thought maybe they’d fall out of his damn head. “All you do is try to take control of everything I do or say! And you know what else Stan?” I ask, moving towards him and poking a finger into his chest. “What? What nonsense do you have to say this time (y/n)? Really I’d love to know!” this makes me fume and if we were in a cartoon you’d most likely see smoke shoot out of my ears. “That! That’s what else Stan! You act like I’m so ignorant when really I get the same grades if not better than you do. Just because I don’t like to use my free time to study new things like you and Ben do doesn’t mean I’m an idiot!” I stomp and all the losers shrink back away from us.

I look over at them and my eyes immediately when I see that Eddie and Ben are visibly worried. I turn back to Stan who’s looking down on me with an expression I can’t quite read. I sigh heavily before grabbing my bag off the dirt-covered planks of the clubhouse and heading to the ladder up. “W-Where are you y-y-you go-going (y/n)?” Bill stutters out and I shoot Stan a glare before looking back at Bill. “I need a breather so I’m going back into town, probably home. If you guys want to hang out again later that’s fine by me.” I say before taking the ladder back up to the surface and walking back towards town to get ice cream.

“Why? Why the fuck does he hate me so much?” I cried, leaning over my ice cream. God Stan pisses me off to no end but at least I’m really the only one who he treats this way. At least he’s nice to the rest of the losers. “He’d be so pretty if he wasn’t scowling all the time…” I say to myself before finishing my ice cream. As I finish my cone and start to get up I get pushed back down onto the curb. I look up and see the two remaining boys of Bowers’ gang above me with hesitant smiles and shifting eyes. They look down on me with much more venom than I’ve ever seen in Stan’s eyes when he looks at me. “What are you doing all alone on the pavement? Your group of fuck buddies tired of you already? Ya get too used for their liking?” Victor spat at me and I let out a laugh without thinking. He grabbed me by my top and pulled me closer to him, so close that I could smell the liquor he had been drinking. The scent hit my nose so hard that I didn’t get to hear what he had said before he slapped me, threw me to the pavement, kicked me in the side a few times, then ran for the hills with Belch following closely behind.

“Are you alright (y/n)?” I didn’t get to register who had said that to me before I started crying again. Whoever had come to check on me just sat beside me quietly listening and rubbing a hand over my back to help soothe me. While I cried I let everything go to this stranger, I told them about practically everything that had been bothering me. Like part of the traumatic events of earlier that summer and how much Stan being a major dickhead was affecting me. All they did was rub their hand up and down my back and before I had realized it, the sun was already almost set and I would need to be home soon for dinner.  I quickly got up, wiped my eyes, gathered my belongings, and shouted a quick thanks before running off in the direction of my home without thinking to take a quick look back.

The next few times the losers club hung out Stan was fairly silent, opting to read a book instead of listening to mostly just Eddie and Richie bickering. The fourth hangout all Stan could seem to do was stare at me over the edge of his big book of birds. Yet, every time I locked eyes with him he looked away quickly, acting as if he hadn’t just been peering at me for at least fifteen minutes straight. That was about all I could stand to let him stare me down while I was trying to have a conversation with Ben and Beverly. “Why is he staring at you like that? Did something happen after you went to take a breather?” Bev questioned and Ben shuddered from the memory of how angry I had gotten. “I have no fucking clue to be completely honest with you. I really wish I did know what was going on in that pretty head of his…” I said without really thinking too much and both Ben and Bev did a double-take after I had said it. I regretted my words as soon as they had absentmindedly come out of my mouth and I laid my head in my hands, thankful that Stan was sitting on the other side of the clubhouse from us.  

“(y/n)? What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.” Bev teased and Ben pushed her a bit but all she did was laugh and then lean onto Ben’s shoulder to listen to what I’ll have to say. “Seriously tho, Bev’s teasing aside, I never thought I’d hear you say something like that about one of us and especially not Stan.” I groan and lift my head to look around. Everyone was still caught up in their conversations to pay us any mind. The only person who even thought to give us attention was still just Stan. When I caught his eyes with mine he didn’t look away immediately like he had before, like he somehow knew we were talking about him. I wave my hand awkwardly and he simply nods back at me and then looks back down to keep reading his big bird book.

I leaned forward towards the two so that hopefully only they could hear me. “Yeah…” I sighed and shook my head “I think Stan is cute but that doesn’t change the fact that we still basically hate each other.” Ben nodded thoughtfully with a hand to his chin. Bev butts in, “I don’t know, I think something has changed. He’s never kept his distance like this.” She stated plainly, leaning back against the wooden post with her hands laced behind her head. “He usually just sits with everyone and then argues with you if you bring something up. Are you sure nothing happened between you two after you had left?” She asks closing her eyes to rest them, a soft smile resting on her lips.

“I mean yeah i’m sure, unless you guys sent him after me. Someone, I didn't get to see who, checked up on me after I got pushed around a bit by Victor and Belch outside the ice cream shop.” She coughed and sat straight up looking at me with wide eyes, trying to catch her breath. “Victor and Belch got to you and you didn’t think to mention it to any of us?!” Bev shouted which quickly gained the rest of the boys’ attention. The only eyes that didn't look up at Bev were Stan’s. In fact, he actually shrank even further into his book if that were even possible. I tried to wave everyone’s attention off but none of them even started to look away until I had proved that I was fine other than a few bruises. After they had all finally gone back to their prior conversations I told Ben and Bev what I had ended up saying to whoever was kind enough to comfort one of the loser kids. Ben and Bev exchanged looks but neither of them seemed to want to make an effort to express what they were thinking.

The next time we all got together again was at Bill’s place for a sleepover. And by then whatever remorse Stan had for me had passed because he was back to being obnoxious as usual, correcting my grammar, and whatever else he thought I was wrong about. “Ya know what Stan?” I finally spit out after he had corrected my grammar for maybe the twelfth time already that night. Everyone looked nervously between the two of us, scared that a screaming match would start soon. Stan cocked an eyebrow at me and my eye twitched before I started to answer, “Stan, I have no idea why you had mercy on me for a few days and I have absolutely no clue what crawled up your fucking ass and died that put you in a shit mood but I really don’t want to be in a bad mood tonight. Do you think you could at least be a little nicer to me for your friends so you don’t fuck up their time?” I was exhausted already and we had only been at Bill’s for maybe an hour. “Honestly I might just head to bed now so Stan plays nice since he only ever seems to really be upset with me. Or maybe I’ll just head home even so I’m not even in the same house to be upset with. Oh, and Stan?” He tilted his head questioningly. “Maybe get to know a girl a bit more before you hate her cause honestly you don’t even really know me.” I breathed and gathered my belongings. I tried to leave too but Bill was one step ahead of me.

“P-please do-don’t leave (y/n). You can go l-lay down in-in my room if y-you need a bre-breather.” I nod and smile softly, “Thanks Billy.” I say before setting my bag back down on the floor by the couch and heading up to Bill’s room for a break from the chaos. After a few minutes of getting to lay in silence and stare at the ceiling a knock sounded at Bill’s bedroom door. “Come in,” I say, half expecting Ben, Bev, or Eddie to be the one at the door but when I look over at the door after it had opened I see Stan standing there awkwardly in the frame of the door. “I said you could come in Stan, I don’t know why you’re up here but believe me you’re welcome to come in none the less.” I say looking back up at the ceiling. I hear the floorboards creak and feel the bed dip beside me. I hear Stan mumble something and I sigh and sit up on the bed. “I couldn’t hear what you said, you’re mumbling.” I state, looking straight at Stan whose face is red and his golden brown eyes are shifting quite a lot. “I’m sorry, okay!” he suddenly shouted and it startled me since he doesn’t usually get very loud.

“What?” I say more out of confusion than anything else and Stan stands and starts to head towards the door. I jump up and grab at his wrist to stop him. “I didn’t come in here to fight you, I’m sorry. I’ll try to leave you be from now on. That’s all I came to say.” he rubs the back of his neck with his free hand nervously. “You sure? It sorta seems like there’s more you want to say.” I ask and he sighs, “I was the person who was with you after Victor and Belch got to you  and I didn’t realize how much what i said actually affected you. So, I’m sorry for everything I’ve said to or about you.” He apologizes with a red face and I chuckle lightly. “I’m sorry too Stan, I haven’t been all that honest with you either.” He tilts his head in confusion and I shake my head and continue, “I don’t hate you Stan, I honestly wish I did after everything you’ve done and said to me to piss me off over the years. Really I,” I pause, taking a deep breath before I admit this to him. 

“I  honestly think you’re pretty cute, handsome, pretty, whatever word you’d prefer.” I manage to spit out with a heated face and this time not from anger but from slight embarrassment of admitting something I’ve only told Bev and Ben. He just stands there staring at me in awe or shock, I couldn’t quite tell which. I place a hand on his shoulder and pull him down to my level. I place a soft kiss on his cheek before starting to head back to the group sitting in Bill’s living room. “I guess you do know me huh Stan Uris?” I whisper to myself before walking into the living room and sitting down among the other losers.

[olivinesea]

Worth the Keeping

a/n: Damn this was a slow one. Brought to you by the way asphalt looks under streetlights and me having been a badly behaved teenage drunk. It’s long but there’s no way around it. TW abuse, nothing wild tho. One bad slur, I’m sorry. Settle in for some in depth Hotch thoughts. ~6k

Young Hotch, young Haley. Bittersweet.

He’s never thought much about his own life, never felt that it carried much importance. Certainly the people in his home did not value it. He thinks perhaps his mother did at one point but she is too caught up in her own worries and the care of Sean to devote any attention to him. Sometimes she even seems angry if he appears to need help. So he makes sure never to need it. He learns how to splint broken fingers and reset dislocated joints, how butterfly bandages and superglue were all that was needed to close most wounds. He thinks, when he is encouraged to imagine the future by naively optimistic teachers, that perhaps he will be an EMT since he’s become so good at triage. He’s met a few EMTs, the rare times when an ambulance was necessary, the threat to life too immediate to ignore. They usually seem like nice, if a little intense, people.

Once, when he was only five, he had experienced anaphylaxis after being stung by a bee. He’d already learned not to make a big deal out of life’s little injuries. So when the bee stings him in the garden, he knows not to say anything. It is his fault anyway, it is always his fault. He sucks on the skin around the sting, anything to take away the fiery sensation he is feeling. He has never been stung by a bee before, had no idea what was going to happen as he grabbed at the little buzzing creatures flying busily around his mother’s flower garden. It turned out, bees did not appreciate chubby hands grasping at them and one made a point of letting him know.

He creeps back to the house guiltily, thinking of the ice in the freezer, maybe he could get some of that. Sometimes his mother would bring him ice wrapped in a towel to place over the repercussions of his childish transgressions, still reaching for love he couldn’t earn. It was always too cold, biting in a way that made the injuries pulse. But he accepted it because it meant that his mother was sitting near him, that he wasn’t alone for a little while. This only reinforced his lessons that care was painful. Wasn’t it better to have someone care so much it hurt than to have no one to care at all? She promised him that’s all it was, it was only because they cared that these things happened. It was only that he was still learning.

But right now, the bee sting is burning a hole in his hand and he thinks maybe the ice could at least distract him from that pain. He slips silently into the house, his eyes adjusting slowly to the dark interior after the bright summer sun. He is breathing hard, but each breath seems to draw in less air. Maybe he is afraid. He knows fear, is intimately familiar with the feeling. He knows it better than most five year olds do, who only experience fear on a basic level—sometimes practical: fires burn, falling from high places is dangerous; sometimes fantastical: what if there are dragons in the woods or ghosts in the attic. Fear was a means to keep you safe but when you are a child there are supposed to be adults helping keep you safe as well. A child’s fear shouldn’t have to be so specific. Aaron is afraid of slammed doors and broken glass and dirt tracked in on his shoes. He is afraid of storms that brew in bottles of dark liquid and unleash torrential outpourings of disgust.

In this moment he is afraid, not of a monster, but of a person who might be watching him from the shadows of the living room. He is too young to understand schedules and time, he doesn’t know his greatest fear is otherwise occupied. Instead, he lets fear be the reason for his change in breathing. He makes it to the kitchen with its big windows and bright lighting, only to find his hand has grown, comically large and heavy, the skin swollen and stretched. Breathing feels like trying to drag air through a wet towel. He feels his heart racing as the fear closes in but still stays quiet. He probably wouldn’t be able to make much noise if he tried but he doesn’t want to find out who else is inside the house at the moment.

Through the small luck allotted him, his mother comes in minutes later to find him curled on the kitchen floor, skin around his mouth a pale blue, his eyes closed in concentration, trying to will air through his constricted windpipe. She is about to scold him, to tell him to stop playing when she sees his hand, all doughy pink and covered in hives that travel up his arm to his thin chest. She rushes to the phone to call 911. She’s never been more scared, both that her son might die and that her husband might find out how careless they’d both been.

Ambulances weren’t easy to hide, drew too much attention, but something tells her there isn’t time for a different choice. The EMTs assure her she had done the right thing, quickly setting to work administering epinephrine and monitoring Aaron’s oxygen levels. If he seems rather quiet and withdrawn for a five year old, he had just gone through a dramatic, life threatening experience. It would cause anyone to sink into a bit of shock. They don’t notice the nervous looks exchanged between mother and son, both their eyes darting to the long driveway every so often, looking out for incoming danger. When they tell her the boy needs to be taken to the hospital for further care she visibly balks.

“But he seems fine now, he’s doing better right?”

The child in question is sitting in the open back of the ambulance, thin legs dangling, scum from leftover bandaid adhesive outlining skinned knees. He is breathing carefully into a mask that another medic holds for him. His hand is cradled in his lap, no longer outlandishly large but still misshapen. He looks fragile and she longs to pull him away, out of the hands of these strangers, who may only be trying to help but don’t realize how their help might have consequences. She wants them to leave, wants the house to return to the state it was in this morning when her husband left for the day, so he wouldn’t see anything as out of place, wouldn’t have to know about the day’s events.

She is worried about talk in the neighborhood, about the way her front lawn has been overrun by busy people in uniform, doing what she can’t imagine. But it was a future worry; she was so good at keeping secrets surely this was one she could fit in somewhere. If only she can keep it contained to this moment, prevent it from spreading.

“He is, but it’s important that he go. There could be a secondary reaction.”

Her arms are crossed and she rubs her index finger across her bottom lip absently as she tries to think quickly. Victor will be home soon, he would be disturbed to find them gone. She doesn’t think there will be any way to hide this if they went to the hospital. Too many people will see, there will be no way to lie away their absence. But if they didn’t go now and Aaron got worse, she couldn’t very well call the emergency services a second time. She looks at him again. He is now staring down at the ground, swinging his little legs back and forth. She hates that she has to make a decision like this. She hates how there were likely no good outcomes no matter what she chooses. She pinches her lip between her fingernails for a moment then sighs as she gives in.

“Ok, let’s go. I just need to call my husband first.”

*

It was only the presence of the hospital staff that stops him from strangling both mother and son when he receives the bill. Aaron shrinks against his mother’s side as his father thanks the doctor with a tight voice before turning and walking out of the building. His mother, nervous herself, is shivering, he can feel her body shake as he presses against her. She takes off on quick steps to follow his father from the building. She would have left him behind if he hadn’t been gripping tightly to her skirt, nearly dragging him off balance with her speed. They get into the car silently. Aaron climbs behind the passenger seat to the back and tries to melt into the corner. The air is snapping with electricity as a fast moving spring rainstorm darkens the sky around them. The tension makes him want to scream. He knows better.

“I’m sorry, there wasn’t time,” his mother starts, her voice embarrassingly plaintive.

"Shut up.”

Aaron’s eyes dart back and forth between his parents. He sees his mother hang her head, rounding her shoulders ever so slightly. He sees his father’s knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel. He knows this was his fault but he doesn’t know how to fix it. He opens his mouth to say something but right then lightening cracks across the sky in front of them and they are all dazed by the flash.

Later, after they get back to the house and Aaron is sent to his room, the crashes of thunder mingle with his father’s shouting, his mother’s cries. He shivers beneath his too thin blanket, his lungs still feel new and foreign. Like they have been scraped raw and newly exposed to their purpose of pulling oxygen into his small body. He has suspected it before but this experience has solidified in his mind that he shouldn’t be here, that his presence only causes distress. He knows his mother would be better off if he had died, he knows his father would be less angry about that than whatever humiliation he feels he’s just experienced at the hospital. For some reason, despite his wishes to the contrary, he only brings about waste and pain. He had only wanted to meet the tiny creatures, to see if their busy movements, their buzzing hearts matched his own.

*

As he gets older, he grows tired of the care, he wishes more and more to be ignored. If only his father cared less, he could fade into the wallpaper, disappear into the shadows of their house. If no one cares, he can’t disappoint with his shortcomings. He can just float around in a fog that softens the world around him, never caring too much about anything, never feeling that sting of caring. If he doesn’t care, nothing matters, nothing can touch him.

Aaron has completely accepted the fact of his own unimportance by the time he is a teenager. He does everything he can to blend into the background. To escape the notice of others because being noticed is never safe. It reminds people that he dares to take up space, dares to make use of resources better allocated to creatures more deserving, less hateful.

Something shifts once he hits puberty, a sort of recklessness sparks inside him. Though he is still careful to avoid the attentions of adults, he starts to bite back when other kids tease him. They had been teasing him his whole life. For his strange haircuts and too small or too large clothing. For never having new things. They told him he was dirty, they told him he was weird. All the usual small cruelties children hurl at one another.

Now that he is in high school and has gone through a growth spurt, not yet his full size but much larger than he had been, he has some power. He notices the way the other kids step back when he stands up quickly, only with the desire to run and hide, but he notices it nevertheless. I’ll remember that, he thinks as he walks, rather than runs, to escape from their taunts.

Part way into his freshman year he breaks someone’s nose. While not exactly justified it wasn’t unprovoked either. They had been picking at him throughout the day. Purposely running him into lockers, knocking over his lunch tray and pinching him as he walked by. There are so many of them and they are so quick about it he is never completely sure who is doing it. His irritation grows inside him such that he wouldn’t be surprised to see smoke drifting out of his ears. The pokes and jabs are bad enough on their own but what the other kids don’t know is that they are just layering over deeper bruises, ones he does his best to forget about. If he thinks about those too much he’d go crazy.

The older he gets the harder it is to hold together the fractured reality he lives inside of. The one where a man can be both a hero and a monster. He has known since he was little about the danger his father carries but as he got older and saw more of the world around him he has realized that this is not the same for everyone. And not only is it not the same, his experience is somehow invisible, inconceivable to all the eyes of his hometown. As an adult he will look back and realize that some people did know, they just didn’t do anything to help, for whatever complicated reasons adults tell themselves that they shouldn’t get involved in others’ business. Even if the cost is taken out of a child’s nightmares.

So when Luke Gatson pulls his too-long hair and calls him a fag at the end of the day, he’s had enough. He swings his fist blindly but with all the force of years of built up anger. He is surprisingly accurate, maybe having absorbed more knowledge of inflicting pain over the years than he realized. There is an audible crack as the other boy collapses on his knees, holding both hands over his bleeding nose. Aaron stares at him, hand still clenched in a fist, eyes burning. Luke’s friends crowd around him, glancing between the two, wondering if they are meant to get some sort of revenge for their friend. Aaron can see that they are surprised, probably the reason that they haven’t jumped him immediately. He also sees the tears on Luke’s face that he is trying to hide. That makes him feel bad and he loses any sense of the burning hatred that had taken over.

“Sorry, Luke,” he says sheepishly.

“Fuck you Hotchner,” Luke replies, scowling at him.

Aaron shrugs, he’s heard worse, and walks away toward home. As afternoon becomes evening, Aaron’s stomach is in knots over the thought that his father will find out what he’d done. He is sure the man will not be pleased about it. He is so anxious he can’t even pretend to eat what is in front of him at dinner, a frequent struggle that earns him glares from both parents. He can’t stop darting his eyes to the phone, waiting for it to ring and deliver his sentencing.

He is washing the dishes when it finally does and he nearly drops the soapy ceramic, startled by the sound. He forces himself to stay still, to keep doing what he is supposed to, maybe his mother will intercept it. But his mother is putting Sean to bed, only his father is downstairs and he can hear him grumbling about people’s lack of decency calling so late. Aaron can only make out muffled sounds from the other room as his father has a short exchange with whoever is on the other end. He hasn’t been able to move since the phone started ringing and his hands start to shake as he hears the small click of the receiver, the footsteps coming toward the kitchen. He carefully sets the plate in the sink but continues to grip the sponge like it might be some sort of shield. He feels his father’s presence behind him and slowly turns to face him.

Victor is looking at him curiously from the doorway, eyebrows pulled together, corners of his mouth drawn down slightly.

“You got in a fight.” It is not a question, he is not interested in the details or whether his son might have different information.

Internally Aaron panics, trying to think of a way to escape this situation. He’s had plenty of time to consider how his father would react and how he might possibly minimize the fallout. Outside he is perfectly still, eyes downcast, breathing measured. Maybe he should run. He hasn’t tried that since he was small, too small to understand there was nowhere to run to. Maybe he would be fast enough now. Then he hears the least expected sound. He has to look up to convince himself he is interpreting it correctly. His father is laughing. His eyes go wide with alarm, he can’t remember his father ever laughing before. Maybe this has unlocked some new level of anger.

“Must have been a weak little shit to get taken down by you,” he says.

Still in shock, Aaron has nothing to say. His dad rubs his face with his hand, a little chuckle escaping. He drops his hand and looks at Aaron.

“Never fucking do that again. You won’t like what happens after.” All humor gone, the stony glare reappears. With that he turns and walks away, his steps only slightly unsteady.

*

Despite knowing better Aaron gets into more fights and his father delivers on his promise. Rationally he knows he can stop this. Maybe he doesn’t always have control over what happens to him at home, but this, the fighting, is completely a choice. After the first incident a few other kids test him, seeing if his breaking Luke’s nose was only luck. They quickly discover that he is able to back up that first knock out. Aaron is a natural fighter. He is on the scrawny side but what he lacks in mass he makes up for in pure rage. After a few more black eyes and split lips, the other kids grow more cautious, give him space when they walk by. No one teases him anymore.

But those fights taught him something. He discovers he likes the experience of being on the attack rather than only receiving. He never fights back at home, it is unthinkable to try to defend himself against what comes at him there. But out here in the world, for a few moments, he becomes something else. He becomes electricity and thunder, the one operating the crane that swings the wrecking ball, demolishing years of pent up confusion with his fists. He starts fights now. It does’t matter that it means he goes home to a matching fist, a coordinating set of bruises. He would be going home to that anyway, wouldn’t he? The blood in his mouth tastes like winning.

A couple years into high school and this is all he is now. Something dark and dangerous, he walks through the hallways, glaring at others, raising his fists any time he can find an excuse. If people notice he has more bruises than ever before, dusky marks on his cheek, his neck, the angry red patches of skin exposed during scuffles, it only makes sense given how much he’s taken to fighting.

Sometimes he sees flashes of fear in their eyes as he gains the upper hand and for a split second he is remorseful, identifying with that fear. But then, just as quickly, he is angry again. Angry that this fear is so new to them when for him it’s been a close companion all his life. He resents their normalcy and their parents that scold and worry, making a big show of taking away privileges when they have to come to collect their misbehaving child from the principal’s office. His father never makes a big show, barely says anything at all, simply apologizing to the principal, promising he will talk it over with his son, will make sure he understands the gravity of the path he is heading down. He can’t look at his father during these meetings, afraid he might scream, if only to drown out the ringing in his ears.

One time it is his mother rather than his father picking him up after yet another fight and he makes the mistake of making eye contact with her. The tears are instantaneous. He brushes at his face roughly with the heels of his hands, but nothing he does can stop them. He is frightening to see cry, making the people around him very uncomfortable with the way he is completely silent. The principal doesn’t bother giving his mother the usual speech, only ushers them out the door, his mother offering a quiet thank you. Looking into her eyes had shown him that she knows, that she knows what is coming and she will do nothing to stop it.

She had given up on him when Sean was born, writing him off as a lost cause. She will give everything to Sean; if only she can keep him safe, she won’t be a total failure. She felt guilty at first, trying to reason that Aaron was old enough to take care of himself but the nagging feeling of abandoning her responsibility was hard to escape. As he grew older, however, he had become this stranger she no longer feels anything for but shame. She can’t wait for the day he is old enough to leave the house. She knows there will be no peace before then.

Aaron fights with a determination that reveals how little he takes into account his own safety. He’ll fight with anyone; bigger, older, more experienced, it doesn’t matter. He’s even started to pick fights with adults, daring them to react. Nothing anyone does can touch him. Without a sense of self, a drive for self preservation, there is no reason not to throw himself entirely into the burning of the world. He would deny it but his deepest secret is the hope that if he keeps at it, perhaps someone will notice, someone will care enough to tell him he is worth compassion. Every time he fights and no one asks why, it reinforces this idea: that he is worthless, just an embarrassment to minimize. So he fights harder. He doesn’t know if he is trying to prove them right or wrong.

He only slows down when his father breaks his wrist and threatens to send him away. Alone in his room, doing his best to immobilize the joint with an old brace, he cries, hot and painful tears. Not because of the injury but for how twisted he’s become, how the only comfort he has found has been in turning this brutality on others.

*

Wandering the halls after school one day, prolonging the time before he heads home in the rain, he hears singing. Mindlessly he walks toward it, curious who might be the owner of such light that they can spill it out of themselves in sound. He comes to an open door and finds clumps of students standing or sitting, all facing toward a makeshift stage. Standing alone at the front was the singer, her face as beautiful as her voice suggests. He is magnetized. Her song ends and he feels it like a loss, barely registering the exchange between the girl and the two adults in the room as they thank her and make some marks on a clipboard. Suddenly there are fingers snapping in his face and he glares down at their owner, pulling his injured wrist in against his chest, protecting it from whatever action he is going to take. When he finds a small freshman boy looking up at him with an expression not of fear, only interest, he is confused. He is not accustomed to anyone looking at him without some degree of anger.

“Are you here for auditions?” The boy seems a little exasperated, like he’s repeated the question dozens of times already.

Aaron blinks at him. Auditions? As he is trying to understand the question, another kid steps into the spot last occupied by the singing girl and says a few words before beginning to sing as well. He notes that they are good as well but nowhere near the sweetness he was drawn in by. He looks around the room trying to find the girl, he is fairly certain he’s seen her before, maybe in one of his English classes. He never paid much attention to the other kids outside of which ones might deserve a fight. He spots her in a corner whispering with another girl, ducking her head and smiling, playfully knocking her friend’s shoulder. The strange feeling in his chest is his heart melting. He looks back down when he feels a tug on his shirt sleeve. He is ready to bite the head off of this annoying child.

“There’s a spot left if you want to audition. You have something prepared right?”

Aaron Hotchner has nothing prepared, nothing in his life could have prepared him for this moment but he’d do anything to get closer to that smile. He nods.

“Sure.” He can barely get the word out, his throat is dry and raspy. The kid looks at him quizzically, Aaron almost laughs at the way one of his eyebrows rises up. He can already imagine him as a crinkled old man.

“You have something to sing?” he questions more directly, doubt clearly apparent.

Aaron shrugs, he can come up with something. On the better days, the spring and summer days, when the light gets longer and he can wander in the woods for hours, he sang with the birds. Singing was nothing new to him. Singing for other people though, he does’t like that idea at all if he lets himself think about it. But there is no time to think. He is giving his name and being jostled into the room. Before he has fully taken in his surroundings, his name is spoken with some confusion as he is called up to his turn.

One of the adults is his civics teacher from his freshman year. She frowns as she looked at him and he feels a wash of anxiety, remembering who he is, remembering he is not made for good things. He opens and closes his mouth but no sound comes out. The room is quiet and he can feel everyone’s eyes on him. He exhales, angry with himself, looking up to glare out at this roomful of people who’s only crime is agreeing with him that he is worthless. But he sees her again—she is smiling, barely, but it is enough.

He clears his throat and starts to sing. It is a quiet sad song, a hymn he’s heard a hundred times as he forced himself to stay awake during services. There is not enough penance in the world to absolve him but he likes the music sometimes. This one has been a favorite for many years. His voice gets stronger as he settles into it, staring at the floor just beyond his shoes, trying to picture himself out in the woods, surrounded by his only companions—the silent trees and the birdsong. When he stops they are staring at him and he hates it. He rubs one foot against the back of the other calf, considering just walking out of the room before anyone is forced to say anything, to embarrass him further with some pitying words.

“That—that was great!” the teacher finally says. “We needed a baritone, you would be perfect.”

Aaron just nods, cheeks flushed as he risks another look to the corner where the girl had been standing. She is still there, looking at him more carefully now, her expression an odd mix of emotion. It is enough to give him the courage to smile back, just slightly, the tiniest twitch of the corner of his mouth.

“Rehearsals start next week. Everyday after school. Can you do that?”

He nods again, dragging his eyes back to the adults in front of him. “Yes, ma’am,” he says, just as quietly as when he started.

As he walks away, he hears his old civics teacher mutter to the drama teacher, “I had no idea he could sing. I’ve barely heard him speak.”

The other teacher hums back in agreement, just as confused.

*

Many months down the line and Aaron has softened a little. No longer an instigator of fights, he has other things on his mind. The anger hasn’t gone anywhere but he holds it back so that it doesn’t disturb the peace he finds with Haley. She is the best thing to ever come into his life and he knows he doesn’t deserve her; knows it is only a matter of time before the world rights itself and takes this gentle soul from him. He knows she is not a second chance, no one will ever forget what he is, he can never outrun the dark looks that follow his name. But he’ll hide in the solace she provides as long as the world lets him.

To her credit, she doesn’t make him feel foreign or pathetic as she learns new layers of his reality. Inside she cringes at every revelation but she is careful, keeping an invitation on her face, making space for him to bleed out some of what poisons him. He is hesitant and slow to share, sure that each slip will send her running. But when she does’t run, when she only pulls him closer, he trembles with the desire to be seen the way she seems to. That relentlessly denied hope gaining strength—that someone might care to look past the barbed wire and broken glass he’s made a home within.

There are good days and bad, they are only children after all. Sometimes he can’t explain his feelings. They are too big and all he wants to do was rip apart the world to find a place he can bury them. He tries to hide from her but she’s caught on to his tricks, seeking him out in all his usual unusual places: behind the gym, near the creek, the empty fields around his home. She grabs his shaking hands and pulls him to the ground, leaning against him and stroking the back of his hand while he shivers out the small pieces of a story that he thinks she can handle. The reality is it is much more than she can but much less than he needs. But they do their best.

She waits until she is alone or with her sister to cry for the ways life has harmed him, has doubled back on its promise and turned something she thought was a gift into nothing but torment. It is the first time she’s really understood what people mean when they say life is unfair. But she is stubborn and believes everyone deserves kindness, if no one else was willing to provide, she will be his reprieve.

At first the other girls laugh, thinking it is some kind of joke, a cliche, the beauty and the beast. But as they watch him change, catching smiles and held hands, they are in awe of Haley Brooks. While they can’t forget their distaste for the weird and angry boy they’ve known since grade school, they think perhaps there is something they missed. The softer-hearted among them root for their success; the others, once over the novelty, do their best to ignore the couple. Soon it isn’t even worth a comment when Haley turns up to some social event, towing along a brooding but behaved Aaron Hotchner.

*

It is Halloween and she’s convinced him to come to a party. Not a big deal, she promises, just a keg and some idiots in the woods. He gives in easily because he knows how badly she wants to go and he tries to give her whatever normalcy he can. He is uncomfortable at parties but appreciative that this one will be outside, in the woods, his woods, as he likes to think of them. The party is uneventful, he even manages to get a laugh from a group of tipsy sophomores when he makes a dry observation of the likeness of warm beer to peanuts. He hadn’t been trying to be funny but their laughter feels nice anyway.  

They wander away from the party together, walking towards the neighborhood they both live in. He has handed over his jacket to supplement the impractical blue gingham dress she is wearing. He’d resisted her requests for a couples costume and frowned unhappily when she thrust a flannel and a straw hat at him as they were headed out. He’d put his normal jacket on over it as soon as she was distracted by a conversation and “lost” the hat somewhere in a bush. At least without the hat he could feasibly be wearing a normal outfit though he would never pick out something quite so green.

They hold hands as they walk down the sidewalk, tugging on one another slightly just to feel the comfort of the opposing weight. Occasionally there is a sign post and he drops her hand to split around it, only to grab it back and pull her in closely for a kiss. She giggles, enjoying this looser version of him. He doesn’t drink in front of her very often, usually too nervous to lower his guard and make himself vulnerable in that way.

As they get closer to town, he steps further into the street when he lets go of her hand. There is more traffic here and she is confused by what he’s doing. Maybe he is getting tired, not paying attention to his actions. She isn’t completely wrong, though it’s not the sort of inattention she’s thinking of. Every headlight that burns their vision pulls at him. The promise of impact, of un-ignorable damage draws him closer. He laughs as he stumbles, veering back to the sidewalk with smaller and smaller margins. He seems to have forgotten her, instead he is focused on this private game without a possibility of winning. It makes her nervous but she tells herself it isn’t a big deal. All boys are like this, flirting with destruction.

As yet another car passes with only a few feet of clearance, she can’t take it anymore.

“Aaron! This isn’t fun for me,” she is upset and the tone of her voice cuts through the drunken fog of his mind. He’s almost forgotten he isn’t alone, hypnotized by the weave of light and dark. Immediately remorseful, he jumps back to the sidewalk, planting his feet heavily and grabbing her around the waist. He pulls her in close, tucking her head under his chin, closing his eyes against the rise and fall of the horizon.

“‘m sorry,” he whispers into her hair. She shakes her head but squeezes him, arms wrapped around his torso. He takes another breath and opens his eyes, watching as another car passes them, oblivious to their small drama. The lights still pull at him but he clings to her, holding on for all he’s worth.

[yvainegelinemarie]

🖤🌸𝔐𝔯. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔎𝔞𝔯𝔪𝔞 2021 𝔙𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰 ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔡 ℜ𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔢𝔴 🌸🖤

I’m late I’m late for a very important dick appointment, date!

✨ 𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔 𝐒𝖕𝖔𝖔𝐤𝖎𝖊𝖘!!~ ✨

Idk about ya’ll BUT these new karma cards got me all 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

TW: Proceed with cation!! Do NOT open if you do not wish to soak your panties and/or cry your eyes out at my appalling sense of ‘humor’ 

*Today I will be rating the new Valentines Day art for the Karma cards. The rating process was done by comparing them to their previous valentines day cards and how they went against one another on their level of sexyness within each card. 

🌸 𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖓 | 7/10 | 2nd Place

⚰️ My daddy he be lookin fine a FOULK this evening with his tiddie out. My baby knows how to keep me fed if ya know what I’m sayin.😏💦

⚰️ This beautiful, breathtaking, princely, lavishing work of art!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHGHJTE5LILO; (srry, orgasim seizure). 

⚰️ It’s just *pats eyes with handkerchief* I have never in all my life, witnessed a man of this design. Please, don’t mind me. I just need a moment to bask in the glory of this angel. 

⚰️ The 💦water droplets💦, his bedroom eyes, that CHEST- I-I...I just need a moment...

⚰️ Lucien has once and always stolen my heart BUT I do have to say that based off of some past cards, last years valentines card, and compared to Victor’s card this year that my Lulu has to come in second. 🤧

⚰️ His sultry, princely and sexyness is all there but we all know that Lucien can pull off a very dominating demeanor. Yet here he’s just giving me very submissive vibes this valentines. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

⚰️ And then this card has the AUDACITY to turn into this?!?! 👀👀

⚰️ Sighhhh...It is just so hard to watch MC living your dream... 

⚰️ This card just looks so sweet. The carressing embrace, Lucien’s calmly surprised expression, it’s just all so gentle. awwwwwe!!

⚰️ Although this card is very romantic Lucien still looks very submissive and sweet. (Like homie looks like he’s never done this before which. LIES. BITCH I KNOW YOU) 👏🏼👏🏼

⚰️ One of the things I love the most about Lucien’s character is his very teasing and dominating aura and last years valentines card sucked that up and did a beautiful job of expressing his teasing personality in the artwork. I am hoping that maybe where this art is lacking the date itself will make up for it.

⚰️ I do find this card to be the second most sexy out of all the boys but I feel like it just doesn’t feel as Lucien as I would have liked it to. 

⚰️ I do however find the artwork to be very beautiful and embracing. Especially when the card is evolved. The way Lucien holds MC in the second card creates this very innocent and warm embrace that reminds me of two people just on the verge of falling in love.

⚰️ It is a very sweet and romantic card and it is quiet cute to see Lucien all blushing and off guard instead of his usual impassive self.

🌸 𝐊𝖎𝖗𝖔 | 6/10 | 4th place

⚰️ The bestest boi of them all!!! 🥰

⚰️ Litterally nothing gets sweeter than Kiro!!

⚰️ So sweet, so fun loving! This sunshine of a boi makes life worth living! ☀️☀️

⚰️ Kiro is definitely the one who shows up at just the right time to make life a little better and brings out the inner child that my sun in capricorn tries to repress so intensely. 

⚰️ And this card does that sweet and playful image justice. Always stay warm Kiro!!! AWWEEE!!!

⚰️ All I can say is I wish I was that dog so I can paw Kiro’s chest too. 🤭

⚰️ Now, It pains me to put Kiro last but it is just that I feel that his card lacks a lot compared to the valentines card from last year. 

⚰️  We were hit with a very sexy Kiro and there has been plenty of other very VERY sexy Kiro cards up to this one that it just causes this one to hit different, you know? 

⚰️ This one really captures Kiro’s loving and boyish personality so I definitely love it over all as a Kiro card. I think that it does wonderful in that aspect. But for valentines day? I expect something a bit more saucy...like an underwear model shoot maybe... 😜

⚰️ BUT THEN we get THISS!!

⚰️ S-Shirtless Kiro *Internal screaming* kahhhh!!! I can’t take it I. 😝

⚰️ Sometimes I forget just how HORNY Kiro issss.... 

⚰️ I think it’s safe to say that MC is only making that face NOT bc Kiro took that magazine but bc she be getting poked sitting in that lap like that.- 👀🍆

⚰️ Shirtless Kiro is an upgrade from what we had before BUT I still feel like this compared to the other guys and other very sexy kiro cards before that this still only gives a very innocnet and homey vibe.

⚰️ I do think that this card is very cute but when rating it on it’s quality of sexyness comapred to the other boys, I sadly have to put Kiro as last place. 

⚰️ I am just hoping that next year all the Kiro stans get rewarded with a nice Calvin Klein underwear shoot. (I know I’d be happy)😌😌

🌸 𝐕𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖔𝖗 | 8/10 | 1st Place

⚰️ Tall, dark, and handsome AS FOULK!!!

⚰️ Victor never comes in to play no games yall!!!  👏🏼💦

⚰️ Did I say Kiro was horny? because I take that back. Sometimes I forget how BADLYYY Victor is trynnnaaa FUCK in EVERYYY date. 💀

⚰️ But like I ain’t mad. First off, Victor, daddy, can I have that designer bag? I’ll suck your di- 

⚰️ Just the abs, that boujee ass robe even the cute ass fucking ties on his arm I-

⚰️ Victor be putting the standards for guys really fucking high in my book. AND I AIN’T MAD.

⚰️ I just love this card. It is honestly my favorite out of all of them (sorry Lulu) It’s mature, it’s sexy, it’s elegant, suttle, and EVERYTIME I look at it my heart flutters. This card is VERY Victor and a beautiful design of his character and it makes me VERY horny happy. 💦💦

⚰️ T-That angle... *blushes* He is ready to go to town if ya know what I mean.

⚰️ But given that facial expression he’s already busted it- 👀🤧

⚰️ On a real note tho. Victor looks so sweet and vulnerable here (*what a pussy) it’s so cuteee!!! Like I ain’t ever seen him look so sweet. (*fucking bitch.) 

*I have a love hate relationship with Victor since he always likes to piss me off!!! But he cute so.

⚰️ Again I think that this card is my favorite out of all four of the valentines cards this year. I feel like the intimacy in this one is there. The imagery is very sexy but soft. I love their pose and I think that this card sells where we all like our minds to wonder off too. 

⚰️ My absolutae favortie part is the simple pull on Victors unbuttoned shirt. It is just so sweet and so soft of an embrance.

⚰️But also Victor’s hand on the counter. I want that hand to smack my ass so hard fuck. 😋

⚰️ If I had to (and I do) make one complaint about this card it is that I honestly HATE Victor’s expression in the evoled. It’s just too soft and sweet for my liking. And as a Capricorn myself I can assure you that any slip up of us expressing even just the slightest bit of our vulnerability to anyone we will rip ourselves apart head to toe for years on that one single event and I assume that even during Victor’s most intimate times that stone cold look would not fade as easily as it does in this card. 

⚰️I think that it is beautiful and no hate to the Victor stans who think he looks hot AF in this card. I am all for it. I just personally like my capricorns whipped into shape. 😌

🌸 𝐆𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖓 | 7/10 | 3rd Place

⚰️ This one gave me the most and best shock.

⚰️ My favorite Gavin cards are by far this and his valentines card from last year. 

⚰️ There is just something about Valentines day that gets Gavin in a sexy mood. (you’re secretly a hopeless romantic, aren't you Gavin huh...huh???)😏

⚰️ First off, GAVIN!!! I ain’t ever seen you look so SEXY. Sending me Eboy vibes to the MAX ughhhhh!!!! 

⚰️ I love the straps on his shirt and the fact that it’s wet and the glove PULLLLL!!! FUCKK GAVINNNNN!!! 💦🔥💦

⚰️ Gavin for me is everything that’s hot that I just can’t get behind but I WANT to get behind. You know? haha.

⚰️ He’s just such a good boy and a sad boi all at the same time and he holds a soft place in ma heart (but he’s definitely a one night stand and then I never call him again haahaaaa ahhhh) 🤧

⚰️ And then this card!! It is so cute! SO sweet!!! and just very beautifully intimate. They look so in love!!!

⚰️ I just know for a fact that this night is very gentle and very passionate. 

⚰️ S3x with Gavin may not be intense, but it is love that we all at one point need okayyy!!. *cries* 🥲

⚰️ Gavin’s card is probably my 3rd favorite out of all of the boys this year. I do really love his pose and they are very sexy and very sweet and also very Gavin for his event cards. I also enjoy that his expression is still very true to his character in the last card (I’m looking at you lulu and vic) 

⚰️ I just feel like the art lacks a lot of story in Gavin’s cards (even his ones last year too) They just look like they took valentines day photos together lol. 

⚰️ I don’t hate them and they are very beautiful I just wish there was more going on then what looks to be like Gavin modeling for a brand of Makers Mark Whiskey lol. 

⚰️ I actually haven’t played a single Gavin date🤭...so I don’t have much to say on how he reacts to MC outside of the regular story line and I am sure that his valentines date for our English Sever with him was very wonderful. Based off of Gavin’s main story character I wouldn’t consider him very romantic or at least not the one in control of planning their dates. I think that of all the boys Gavin’s Valentines would be the most laid back and I would like to see more of Gavin’s character coming through with the artwork of these dates if that’s the case.

ENDNOTES: 

⚰️  On a serious note these cards are very beautiful although...I think I honestly enjoyed last years Valentines cards more than this one (the ones we got this year in the english server)... (omg...no way...she said it)

⚰️ Don’t get me wrong! All these cards are VERY sexy and I do like it but I feel like they almost lack intensity that last year SOLD us. 

⚰️ I guess what I am trying to say is they all feel too vanilla if you know what I mean... Gavin’s card is the only one that gives me a sense of spice despite him being the sweetest out of all the boys. I just feel that these in comparison to how lavish last years cards were that I want to see more intensity. 

⚰️ I am curious to know if the cards will ever get to that point (I know that the game wont give us full blown porn scenes...*sigh* lol) but I am looking forward to seeing some imagery to withhold the imagination of such. 

⚰️ Basically I’m sad that Lucien had no scratch marks. That-That’s it! You caught me!! I just want to see my daddy’s skin all scratched up!! Is that too much to ask for?! 

⚰️ ALSO I WANT FULL SHIRTLESS (WITH NIPPLES) SSR CARDDDSSSSSSS AHHHFGJGKRIGKECGHGERMCHM!!!!

⚰️ This is all written for shits n giggles. Please take this lightly and kindly let me know what karma card you liked the most. 

Thank you for stopping by, 🖤 Yvaine. 

[delikizzzplays]

Amnesia: Memories Review (spoilers)

Platform: PS Vita or PC via Steam (I played it on PC) Official English Release

Number of Routes: 4 main routes followed by an unlocked route after getting the good endings in the previous four.

Plot/Setting: The Heroine (she does not have a name as she is amnesiac so you get to name her anything you want) wakes up one day without any memories and this spirit in her head named Orion telling her he is the reason her memories are gone and she needs to interact with people in her life and try to remember her past in order to free Orion and return to her life. He then tells her that there are like a bunch of parallel universes so she just needs to pick the one she feels like is the right one. At first, this seems like a dumb cheesy way for the game to make us pick a route BUT the whole parallel worlds thing is explained really well once Ukyo’s world gets unlocked and you get to see the full story which I loved.

Gameplay: The routes have so many great bad endings which is one of the things I loved about this game. It was impossible for me to get the good/true endings without a walkthrough. For each character, I got the normal endings with occasional bad endings along the way whenever I tried to play it myself. Then I used a walkthrough for the most efficient way to get all the good and bad endings in one try. The game also has two mini games: ice hockey and rock paper scissors which are fun but you gotta beat all the characters in both games to get certain trophies/achievements which I haven’t done. Also, the sprites move to make them look alive/talking. You can also click on the CGs to hear more cheesy lines said by those characters which are super cute.

VA: Amazing as usual. Sadly, the heroine is not voiced. But then again since Orion speaks for her 99% of the time it doesn’t matter.

Art: It’s so good! The artist for this game is the same one for Collar x Malice so I am hyped for that game as well. Also when you play it on PC full screen the art is very HD and nice to look at. Although the costumes the characters’ wear tend to be a bit out-of-this-world-crazy, the art is amazing. The heroine is so pretty. I have seen a lot of people call her dead fish eyes-chan as an insult but like???? What???? Her eyes are so pretty and filled with various emotions.

My Favorite Routes: Kent=Ukyo >Ikki>Shin>>>>>>>Toma

Order I played: the official order the worlds are listed in. 

Btw this is the first proper otome game I played (if we ignore the mobile and indie western ones) and it set the standards pretty high for all the other PC and Vita otome games.

Characters:

Side characters: Mine and Sawa are heroine’s coworkers and friends. Mine can also be her love rival in some routes which was annoying but she is so cute I couldn’t hate her. Then we also have Ikki’s fanclub and the head of the fanclub Rika (are all the Rika’s evil????) who make her life difficult in every route except for Ukyo’s. Then we have the manager from her workplace, Waka, who changes his personality in each route. I like it the most in Ikki’s route tbh. “The Customer is the Enemy!” or something like that is his motto. And ofc we have Orion, the child-like Spirit who helps Heroine along the way and basically does all the decisions for her instead of her which can get annoying but he is also a precious cinnamon roll child so I can’t hate him too much.

Shin: Heart World (VA: Tetsuya Kakihara, Victor/Code Realize)

He is everyone’s favorite. He is the younger childhood friend of the Heroine. His route involved a lot of mysteries to solve. Shin being a tsundere was also fun but that is about it. He is nowhere near my favorite character. He has his good moments but nothing really stood out to me.

Ikki: Spade World (VA: Kisho Taniyama, Germany/Hetalia)

Ah the flirty Ikster! His eyes have this power to make anyone fall in love with him so he has a fanclub and he doesn’t date girls for more than three months as they all break up with him after three months and he moves on to the next girl on the list… until he meets the heroine of course! He would have been my favorite if it wasn’t for some of the choices you had to make to get his good ending- like the one during the summer festival. I was so frustrated with him. He does have this great bad ending where he goes on a murder rampage BUT then he also has an almost rapey bad ending which I am now surprised that the game didn’t actually go through with it now that I know that a lot of these otome games involve rape which makes me glad that they did not include one. His good ending is great though as he and MC start to live together.

Kent: Club World (VA: Akira Ishida, Tokite/Clock Zero)

MY FAVORITE. MY PRECIOUS AWKWARD SON. Kent is the resident older character who is emotionless. He is a grad student and tutors the Heroine and her friends. He is very smart and logical so love does not make sense to him but Heroine ofc teaches him the beauty of love and that not everything has to involve logic. His route is the most normal and realistic one. We get to meet his parents, go through all the awkward stages of dating, and solve some math questions (I used to guide for that immediately tho I hate math). He is also the only one who learns about Heroine’s amnesia and Orion! It’s great! His good ending is really good, too cuz they go live in London happily ever after.

Toma: Clover World (VA: Satoshi Hino, Kamui/Gintama)

He is also heroine’s childhood friend but he was the older one in the group (like only a year or two but whatever) and took care of Shin and the heroine when they were kids. He is the resident crazy guy that should probably be locked up in like Arkham Asylum. He is the yandere of all yanderes so far for me out of all the localized games. LIKE HOLY SHIT. I didn’t even try to play his route by myself first because I knew what was gonna happen and wanted to get through it asap so I used a guide. I probably would have killed the mc a million times if I didn’t do that. For storyline like sure, he might be interesting but NOPE. I hate him so much. He is also super creepy in Shin’s route too like BOI stawp.

Ukyo: Joker World (VA: Kouki Miyata, Aiichiro/Free!)

You can’t play his route until you get the good endings for all the other dudes. He is the true route and ties up the plot and explain all the plot holes in a great way. So his story is that he was dating the heroine in his world and she died horribly in a fire. He was depressed and sad and this deity Nihil heard his prayers and decided to help him settle his emotions. So he told Ukyo that they could go to parallel worlds where he could meet her again. Ofc in each other world she already has a boy in her life and death also awaits her. He basically has to die if he doesn’t get her to be with him or kill her himself to save his own life which causes him to have that split personality. But he cannot truly die because he somehow merged with Nihil so Nihil keeps on reviving him and moving on to the next world. So it is like this never ending cycle in which he either kills the heroine or himself and he remembers everything and all the pain so his crazy side comes out a lot. But Nihil is running out of power cuz he wasn’t supposed to help Ukyo in the first place. As a final resort, he brings Ukyo to his original world and turns back the time so he can try to save her from the fire. Because he is weak he cannot complete the turn back time thing properly which is why it is always cold in August in the routes. Anyways it’s kind of convoluted and confusing but it makes sense if you play the game. He is my second favorite after Kent. I cried during his normal end because it was so bittersweet. It is very easy to get his bad endings in his route though because of his split personality so it’s good to save before each choice.