#he couldve let him down easier my god | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kashimos-hajime · 3 years ago

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no regrets (8/8) | r.b.

summary: For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Or, Reiner finally understands what peace is.

WARNINGS: MANGA SPOILERS!!! angst, mentions of violence, we get our happy ending :) pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 6.7k

a/n: welcome to the last chapter!! thank you so much for being on this journey with me. there are a few callbacks to previous chapters so see if you can catch ‘em all heheh

masterlist

crossposted on ao3 x

Few months ago ymir asked if I could let her write one last letter to krista, and I did let her. I stood over her shoulder the whole time, watching her pen down all this sappy shit and I kept thinking about you the whole time, behind those walls. What you were doing, what you were thinking. Maybe if you thought about me. I dont know.

I’m starting to see the appeal of wrting what youre not strong enough to say to a persons face. I never thought Id find myself on the other end of this stick. for some reason, I thought that I could stop myself, resist the temptation, or maybe that I didnt feel for you as strong as I thought I did once I was away from you. I was wrong.

What do I even say? I mean shit, I can barely see, my limbs are barely in tact, and all of it—shiganshina, it haunts me, even though I cant really remember it that well. Half of it goes black and then I remember hearing your voice, I remember Bertholdt, I remember you screaming.

You couldve walked away. why didnt you walk away? It doesn’t make sens. Why did you think to cut me out? Why did you try to save me? Im trying to make it make sense inmy head. It’s not working.

Fuck I dont know what I was thinking when I asked for a paper and pen. Why am I asking you questions? Its not like ill ever understand. At this point, I think it’s pity thats letting Zeke let me waste ink on trying to write straight. He doesn’t know what im doing, but thats better this way. Better than sleeping—better than eating. I just wanna talk to you and this is as close as I can get. Its my own damn fault, but I dont care.

I completed my mission. After this, im done. ill give up the rest of my term. I dont want any of that glory anymore. I dont want to be a hero. Im just done.

Fuck, my head hurts so much. I dont really know if what im saying is making sense. Im hoping you never read this.

im sorry. I wish I could explain it to you some day, but chances are, ill be dead soon. Whether for treason or because they need to pass on the Titan, and I wont be able to see you again. Which means youll never know how sorry I am. How much I

Thats okay. I dont think youd believe me now even if I did say anything.

I remember your dream to live by the lake with a bunch of kids. You know I started to wonder if youd mind if they were our kids, not just some orphans who needed a home. I’d imagine one of them with blond hair. Imagine them swimming in the lake.

Never told you that was my dream too. Never knew i could have a dream of my own, something only I wanted and not just something to further marleys damn agenda, til I knew you. Sounds stupid but its true.

I think youd like Marley, if we weren’t sworn enemies. Just want you here with me right now. make me sleep easier knowing you’re there when I wake up.

Dont want secrets either. Fuck I miss you so bad. I feel s o tired all the time.

I rember when i first saw you all could think about was how you were the most prettiest girl id ever seen. I don know if you know thats why I tried to distance myself. Knew I couldn’t get distracted from my mison. happened anyway. Wish I could tell you that.

wish I could tell you I love you. Wish I could see the look on yur face when you try lobster for the first time. Youd love it. Not sweet, but tons of desserts here too.

Shit. And the ring on your finger. ill put a ring on your finger. I promised. i swear ill go home and buy a ring for the moment I see you again. Might not be pretty but will do the best I can.

Olnly wnat only wnat only want to see you again and beg for your forgiveness. Let you know if I had a choice, I wouldnt have done it. Would take it all back, nd stay. i wanted to stay, stay with you and the others. I used to want to spend the rest of my life in those walls, now I think im sick and tired of them dividing people who arent even that differnet.

My eyes are beginning to burn. Worse because the skin is sitll growing back. Fucking hell god I miss you. miss your smile more.

I know i dont deserve your forigvneess forgiveness. I want you to be angry with me. I deserve as much, and I cant ask you to, but

With love,

Rienr

You fold the letter, eyes closing as your fingers trace where the ink bled, the old tear stains wrinkling the paper beyond measure. Some are older than others, and you trace over his name again, your eyes burning, your throat tight enough to suffocate.

You’re leaning against the wall as everyone disembarks. They had taken Eren off first, Hange and the others getting ready to depart for the city while Connie and Jean lift a covered stretcher too white for the vivacious girl that lays dead beneath it.

They pass you silently, and you catch sight of a certain captain approaching, his pale eyes nearly swallowed by the shadows haunting his face.

“Captain,” you say, straightening. Placing the letter back into the tin, you slide it back into your pocket as he folds a green jacket over his shoulder. You give him a nod.

“You made it out alive,” Levi observes. He stops beside you, eyes more focused on what’s ahead. No doubt he’s not looking forward to having to take Zeke to wherever he needs to go—somewhere far, far away from Eren. You cross your arms.

“It’s good to see you, too, Levi,” you intone. Sighing, you step in beside him and look out at the Walls you can’t see in the distance, your entire body wrought with a strange fatigue that’s only sewn into muscles by adrenaline leaving the body. “I think I’m going to stay.” He tilts his head to you, eyes flickering to your face, and you mirror the shift, your arms tightening. “I can’t leave this unfinished. Not after Liberio.”

“The farm will have to be abandoned,” he points out. “The kids, too.”

“I’ll make sure I move them where someone can take care of them. Somewhere north, far away from the brothers,” you assure, although still, your heart begins to sink and you close your eyes, exhaling deeply. “I have to hope they understand.”

Levi only nods, and you open your eyes as he wordlessly takes the jacket off his arm and offers it to you. Grasping it wearily, you open your mouth to ask questions but he only sets off, back towards the cabin where Zeke is still being held, and you snap your jaws shut, looking down at the jacket.

When you unfold it, you swallow the hard rock in your throat at the blue and white slipping beween the folds of olive green before there’s a sharp whistle. Looking up, you see the carriages already beginning to load up, and you glance back at the door where the captain has disappeared through before jogging down the ramp.

You slither your arms through the sleeves and shuffle the fabric along your frame as something thumps against your thigh, and you frown, reaching down into your pocket and coming into contact with something smooth and hard.

Withdrawing, your lips part at the green bolo tie gleaming in the lights of the port and you, without another thought, pull it over your head, letting it fall against your breastbone.

“For your services to the Survey Corps.”

There’s no time to second-guess now. No time to debate.

“Good to have you back,” Hange murmurs as you walk towards the carriage taking Mikasa, Armin, and the others back to the city. You tug the lapels of the jacket tighter around yourself and flash them a weak smile.

The Wings of Freedom on your arm feel like a brand, and it prickles your skin as you climb in after them.

Distantly, he remembers flashes.

Eren reaching forward for Zeke, the exhaustion ripping him every which way, the sound of ODM gear whizzing in his ears as he tries to make sense of the punctured sensation in his armour.

How he had softened his nape, intending to die then. At least, let his death have some meaning, he had thought. Let him make one last effort to repent for everything he did to Paradis, and to his friends who’d been more family than his own mother.

He slips in an out of consciousness for the next few days. He doesn’t know what is up, what is down, but he does recognize his surroundings blearily, the way his head spinning somehow slowing when he presses his temple to the wooden floor.

How can he almost hear your voice in the echoes of the panels, countered by someone who almost sounds like Annie before he drifts off again.

When Reiner finally regains consciousness again, he wakes to someone crouched down in front of him. Jerking up, he lets out a sound before a palm slaps over his mouth and your face is shoved against his own.

“Shut it,” you whisper fiercely. “It’s just me.”

Your name muffled by your own hand, his eyes begin to burn and you lift your palm away as he sits up and you draw back. You’re dressed in clothes that look like they’ve seen better days but you’re relatively uninjured as you pull back. New lines adorn your face—one of the many prices of their damned war—and you only look exhausted.

Sitting up, Reiner’s whole body groans as he leans against the wall, but he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Your hands are hovering around his body like you’re scared he’ll collapse and there’s a fracture in your mask.

Something gleams on your finger and his eyes flit to it, his heart lurching when he realizes what it is.

The ring. You’re wearing it. You…

For a moment, a glimmer of their teenage selves shine through and he wants to reach for it—touch it so he can remember what it’s like to be happy. He thinks it’s an awful like now; the swelling of his heart so big he can’t breathe; the way his lungs are static in his chest; how he can’t say anything because there are so many words that want to come out first.

“You’re here. You’re alive,” he finally settles on raspily. Your eyes glint with a youthful pain as you nod.

“So are you.”

And he doesn’t know who moves first—you or him. Nothing is forgiven as their bodies crash in an embrace that lacks grace, but they cling onto another like the world is ending and they’re the only ones left standing.

Maybe they are.

He buries his face in your neck, and your arms are so tight around him your fingers dig into his shoulders as your body melts against his and his skeleton sags in his own body.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, eyes fluttering shut. “I‘m sorry.” A hand against your neck and an arm around your waist, he wraps his legs around your own and traps you against him. You seem to only sink into him even more.

Is that enough? I don’t want you to hate me.

You suck in a breath, and then it comes out shuddering. “You can spend the rest of what life you have left repenting for making me fall in love with a man who was always supposed to die.”

Softly, in his mind, your voice cools the searing heat of hatred inside him. It’s enough. It has to be.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. It’s like they’re the only words he knows. He can’t remember ever meaning it this much. For him dying, for making you love him, for ever coming to Paradis. For loving you. For loving you. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I know.” Your face turns to press against his own. Your lips brush against his jaw and his eyes slide shut, tears rolling down his face. “I read every single one of your letters.” Drawing back, you cup his face in his hands and your fingers smear his tears all over his cheeks as his palm rests against your neck. Thumb stretching up to touch your chin, he feels sobs shuddering in his throat at seeing you again—looking at him almost like you used to. “I can’t begin to understand, but I know you are. And I know you love me.”

Choking, he gasps, “You should hate me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” You’re crying, too, voice thick, tears stubborn on your cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “I should hate Marley, too. But it’s beautiful there. The water by the sea… I want to be there with you next time. We need to go together, before you leave me alone, okay?”

Reiner doesn’t quite hear you. He hears Marley, and beautiful, and he’s never noticed how beautiful you are when you cry, but right now, it’s the simplest truth he knows.

“Okay.”

When you tilt his chin up and kiss him softly, something inside him explodes from the gentleness that makes him want to crack in the palm of your hands. It sears him from the inside out, makes him grab onto you like you’ll disappear—this is another dream, isn’t it?

It has to be.

You can’t be kissing him again after four years. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re an illusion, something his mind made up to deal with the pain. He’s finally cracked for good, just like Bertholdt said he would, and he’s the devil, not you.

But then you pull away just for a moment to smile, eyes barely open as you look at him with a sad tenderness that wraps him in an invisible embrace, and he is faced with the heart-wrenching reality.

The sky is falling, you are holding him tightly again, and they’ve lost their years. But you’re here. With him.

He knows that this isn’t a dream as he feels the coolness of the silver band on your finger and the heaviness in how he knows he hasn’t repented a damn thing.

Why him?

As you run your hand through his hair, you press their foreheads together.

“And I do want a family with you, by the water if you’d like,” you murmur fleetingly against his mouth and his eyes widen, cheeks burning, entire face crumbling as he turns his face in to your shoulder, crushing you in another brace. Sobbing into your neck, his fingers dig into your shoulders, wrap tight around your waist, squeeze you so close he isn’t sure where you end and he begins and your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Reiner, say it.”

“Please,” he whispers thickly into your skin, and you cradle the back of his head with a hand. He’s nothing more than shambles. “Please, don’t go.”

“I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” you promise. His breath is hot against his own face as you pull his head back and cradle his face again, thumbs brushing away the tears from his red face. “Just a bit more. A bit more and then it’ll be all over, you know?”

And he understands, then, what you want from him. Struggling for breath, for his lungs to stop seizing in his aching chest, he cups your face that turns into his palm on instinct, your face wet with your own tears as, for a moment, they try to pretend this isn’t where they really are.

Like they’re still in that afternoon in Trost, a thousand years ago, with the kids flipping coins into the water fountain and a cream bun between them. Like they’re under the tree, apple juice on your wrist and his lips on yours.

Like it’s those trips to the city, the walks on the Walls. Honey is dripping down your chin and he’s pretending he doesn’t want to kiss you, or there’s grease smeared on his forehead, and you’re reaching up to wipe it off his skin.

Like a thousand moments all at once, and he nods to himself as you brush your hand over his temple. The world outside is startlingly quiet, as if the universe itself stopped everything itself to watch this moment, and Reiner takes a breath that bruises his sternum before he’s holding your left hand where that ring still sits.

And slowly, he pulls it off, whispering as firmly as he can. He’s sure he fails—he’s shaking all over from your presence alone.

“When this is over, I’ll put that ring back on your finger. I promise.”

The smile that splits your face is dazzling. It’s the smile he’s missed since the day he left it.

“We have a lot of things to work out, Reiner Braun.”

And your fingers barely brush his jaw before you’re leaning to press a sweet kiss against his mouth. It’s sugary on his tongue, like honey and apple slices.

Your back is warmer when you’re pressed up against Reiner’s. The ship is quiet, and their pinkies are just barely hooked on oen another’s as you stare blankly at the empty space between Connie’s boots. You don’t speak, and Reiner’s gaze is only on you. He can’t look at anything else now that you’re back by his side again.

There’s a cut on your cheek from the fight just half an hour ago, and there’s dried blood along your hands where your knuckles had split open, but everyone seems too exhausted to clean themselves up.

Reiner himself has a blanket pulled over his shoulders, and he sighs, slouching in his own sack of flesh.

Your head tilts towards him, enough that your temple presses against his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into your touch. Not a word passes by, but their hold on each other’s hands tightens. And Reiner thinks.

For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Something that hasn’t burned since he left Marley as a child.

Reiner thinks he doesn’t want to die anymore. He doesn’t want to miss you for another moment.

Raising from the steam, you groan, your hands searing from the inside out as you touch your face where you swore every inch of your skin had been stretched, but nothing seems out of sorts as you glance around. Everywhere, all your friends who had turned just as you had are in various states of disoriented. The air is still hissing, crackled with surprised screams and shouts of names as people look for one another across the field.

It smells like cooked meat and burnt hair, a none-to-pleasant mixture that turns your stomach.

Getting to your feet, you wipe at your face, trying to ignore the weird feeling underneath your nails and the ache seizing your muscles. Trying to ignore the remnants of Eren lingering like a ghost that won’t really leave you alone. You shiver, and a strange cold sweat takes over your body.

He had taken you to the sea, except it wasn’t the shore you were familiar with. There was a cabin nearby, with blonde children running, chasing after one another and a man with golden hair standing on the porch, firewood in his arms as he calls out silently. Or maybe you had been standing too far to hear.

“Eren… where are we?”

“Wherever you think you are,” he had said. “I just brought you where you wanted to be.”

A voice, quiet as a memory, catches your attention. “Here let me help.” A soft wind blows throw the mist, cooling your scorching face as you feel a presence stand behind you.

“Oh, thank you.” You look over your shoulder to see a tall boy, and your heart stops. Mouth dropping open, you stare at his foggy image, but he only smiles fully, a smile so tender it reaches every corner of you as you stumble forward, fingers stretching for him. “Bertholdt!”

His smile grows only that much more, eyes squinting a bit and a flash of teeth before he’s looking at your hand that passes through his chest. All at once, all the hope built up in your chest crumbles, and your hand snaps back, trembling just before him. He lays a hand over your own and your eyes begin to burn, tears slipping down your cheeks.

And then, softly, you barely whisper, “I miss you.”

Bertholdt’s smile merely grows, as if to say everything he couldn’t say before. As if to show he’s at peace now—that your last memory together isn’t every part of him, and your lips press together, trying to stop yourself from shaking.

Shadows form in the fog, and together, the two look as a freckled boy and another girl steps out of the mist a distance away, beaming like the sun. Connie and Jean stagger to their feet just behind you, and your heart lurches into your throat when you recognize them.

“Marco! Sasha!”

Someone calls your name and you turn around just as arms scoop you up and you let out a surprised noise before settling into Reiner’s arms. Looking over your shoulder to look at Bertholdt, your heart only sinks.

He smiles and Reiner lets out a sharp breath beside you, settling you down. “Bertholdt…” More shapes emerge. A shorter boy accompanied by another taller one, both alike in their features. You recognize one as the Jaw Titan holder before Falco, but the other—

“Marcel!” Reiner chokes out the name, hand stretching out to the fog, but the boy merely tilts his head and waves.

Closing your eyes, hot tears streak over your cooling flesh as you fling your arms around Reiner again and press your face into his neck. He cradles the back of your head, and he feels… somehow weaker, but still, there is that impassable strength in his core that wraps around you as he watches over your shoulder, still clinging on despite your clothes hot enough to burn.

I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. It’s the only thought in your head. Your last clear memory had truly been the others taking flight, and the pain that had ripped apart your body before sewing it back together again in unjust proportions. Your limbs had been too big, your blood racing too warmly through your head as your legs pumped but your brain screamed to stop.

Your fingers had sank into Reiner’s legs to pull him down and you had watched—watched Jean take a bite out of him—

You shiver and Reiner’s arms tighten around you instinctively, constricting enough to let you know that his attention isn’t on you quite yet.

Boots shifting on the ground tentatively, your knees feel gummy as you draw back long enough to look at him. He still looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to watch the mist retreat. Bertholdt and the other two boys fall into a pool of fog, and your lips part in a farewell, but it’s already too late.

He’s gone.

A wind sweeps through the battlefield, tickling your sweating neck and cooling your boiling blood.

“Hey,” a soft voice croaks.

Their eyes meet in tandem. He regards you softly, like you are the reason the sun rises and the stars hang at the sky. Overwhelmed, you can only cup the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. Your other hand along his jaw, it takes all you can not to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace that’ll send them both to the ground.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whisper hushedly against his mouth, throat swelling as he lets out a soft noise of surprise as you pull him into another tight hug. You don’t care that you’re crushing him, just that his heart is pounding against your own chest. “I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.”

His eyes widening, he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulling you back just enough to kiss your fingers that crumple against his mouth. Clasping one of his hands in both of your own, you close your eyes and he uses his free fingers to brush the tears off your cheek before reaching into some dented tin you don’t recognize.

Eyebrows furrowing, you feel the heat leave your entire body, sapping your energy too, and your eyes snap to Reiner who steps back, cracking it open and presenting it to you.

“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. I don’t think I’m the Armoured Titan anymore,” he whispers. “I don’t know if I get the rest of my life back, but either way, I want to spend the rest of it repenting to you in any way I can, if you’ll allow me to.” A weak smile. “Truth.”

Your throat closes up, and you stare down at the ring so protected, gleaming despite the destruction around them. It looks almost out of place amongst the grime smearing your skin, the sweat drenching their skin, the smell of blood and metal clinging to their clothes, but Reiner only watches you with a tenderness you can barely meet. It’s so overtly overflowing with devotion that your heart is resting on your tongue, seizing control of everything.

You barely nod, chewing on your lip, trying not to cry even harder as his eyebrows rise in relief and he lets out a long sigh.

He lifts the ring out of the tin, snapping it closed before sliding the band back home onto your finger and all at once, everything floods you. The exhaustion, the pain, the hunger, thirst, grief wrapping around your bones and chaining you to the ground.

It’s over.

The minute he put the ring on your finger, it would mean it was over. No more blood, no more fighting.

Just like he promised.

You barely croak out his name before you fall to your knees. You trust him to catch you, and he does.

[THREE YEARS LATER]

Just after the Rumbling had stopped, you had gone back to Paradis alone and came back with three children to a man who was still uncertain in a world that was changing.

Since then, you’ve learned so much about the world, about yourself, about Reiner.

How he’s seized by night terrors even now, just like you, and how one thing that soothes it is going out for a walk while the sun still simmers below the horizon, the sky a dark navy blue spliced with orange rays. The intricate details like him making a point to tie his own tie because his father never taught him how or the way he has to chug his coffee so he has enough energy to get through the day.

And some days are horrible, haunting, but now, it is far outweighed by the good. He teaches Xav how to dress smart, takes the girls out shopping. Sometimes, he’s spotted around Liberio with a flame-haired boy riding his shoulders, you trailing behind hiding a smile behind some ice-cream.

Different nations, foods, cultures surround you now—citizens of countries coming to settle down roots, spread cuisine to Marley. The idea before, of humans so different than you but still similar at the root of it all, existing, still blows your mind. The technologies that you had never seen before, languages you’d never heard, sights you’d never seen, had all swarmed you as you stepped into a new world with him.

But there is always one thing you’ll come back to.

Leaning against the railing in the port city Reiner told you was the harbour he had left twelve years ago, and returned to seven years ago, you watch the clouds travel in slow drags across the pale blue canvas hung high above your head. The water spans for as far as you can see, glimmering under the sun and gorgeous enough to take your breath away. You pull at your coat across your chest absently, ignoring the tender growl of your stomach.

Breathing in the salty wind, you feel your chest expand at the litle fishing boats a little ways out.

Reiner was right. You don’t get sick of the sea. You never will—not of this much water. You still remember the first time you had swam in it, the salt-water making your hair crisp, the cold sweat forming on your your sun-warmed skin.

You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you spot blonde hair and warm eyes and smile. Your heart flutters a bit. You shift on your feet.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Reiner leans down beside you, and you clasp your hands, letting the sea wind curl against your neck. Reaching to slip his hand in between yours, he sighs and you lean against his shoulder, glancing at their pile of interlaced fingers. “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” you whisper, although even still, you can feel a numbing at your fingertips. You remember what it was like to be a Titan, even now. The sensations haunt you—flashes of your own mutated body, the grotesque meat of your hands sinking into the ankles of the man beside you, the bloodcurdling roar spilling out of your throat.

Glancing at their fingers, you watch the flashes of silver of the rings play in the sunlight, your band now having a matching counterpart on his own hand. You grasp his hands tightly, bringing them up to your lips and his own grip tightens when you dust a kiss gently along his scarred knuckles.

“No,” you finally say at length. “I’m not okay. Going back to Paradis makes me nervous as hell, but we’ll manage.” He nods slowly, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck. His own encircle your waist, pulling you flush against him and your eyes close at the familiar warmth—a warmth you’ve woken up next to most days for the past three years.

“Have you eaten yet?” he murmurs, and your fingers play with the soft edges teasing at your pads as his nose presses against your cheek. Your eyes flutter at the soft heat emanating from his skin, and you shake your head, melting against him. With one arm still around you, he slants his body away from just enough to pull a bag out of his pocket and it crinkles as he hands it to you. Taking it, you frown and look inside.

A cream bun. You can’t help the crumbling in your expression and Reiner holds your face in his hands carefully, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Let’s stay positive,” he whispers. “We don’t know the situation until we get there and Historia briefs us.”

“I know,” you whisper and his entire expression eases at your words. His eyes gaze at you as if you’re the sole centre of his universe, and he cups your jaw more insistently, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, one you ease into, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue traces the seam of your mouth. Laughing, you feel his little nose scrunch and your heart bounds up into your throat as he pulls back only to kiss you again, softer this time.

“Get a room!” A sharp female voice ruins their moment and you pull back just enough to see a red-headed boy running towards them and Reiner crouches down just in time to scoop Xavier up.

“When are you getting married?” he demands. “I was promised cake when you guys got married.”

“I dunno. When you move out of the house I guess,” you tease and Xavier pouts, rubbing at the side of his nose with the heel of his palm.

“Besides, you got cake for your seventh birthday, buddy,” Reiner groans as the boy twists in his arms. “You’re getting heavy. What are you feeding him?” he adds, smiling roguishly at you and you roll your eyes as Alina and Anya approach, sun hats protecting them from the glaring sun. Alina, grocery bags in hand, waves. Anya, who’d been the one to shout, tucks her coin purse back into her bag before flashing you a great big smile.

Only fifteen and seventeen. You can barely recall what it’s like being that young anymore, but you’re grateful they didn’t spend it the way you did. They get to know beauty, and no limits at all. The former comes naturally, the latter is partially because Reiner spoils them rotten.

Alina picks a flower with velvety purple petals from a bouquet she cradles in her arm, extending it to you.

“For good luck,” she says. “And protection.” Your heart melts at her words and you pause for a moment, looking from the gorgeous bloom to Reiner, occupied with the boy in his arms making silly faces at him. Then, without another moment, you sneak the flower behind his ear and he reaches up immediately to hold it against his head, turning to you in surprise.

“To protect the both of us,” you explain.

“Thank you. I’ll be extra careful now.” He looks at the girls, setting his free hand on Alina’s head heavily and she flushes, smiling grandly. “You three behave while we’re gone, alright?”

You nod. “Listen to Levi.”

“And listen to your sister,” Reiner adds to Alina and Xavier. The former rolls her eyes, the latter sticks out his tongue. “I’ll miss you.”

This is their home—their family that tumbles together into a huge hug, and you can’t help but stand back, watching how they all seem to merge into one unit, unaware of where one part of their reach ends and another begins.

As Reiner pulls you into the hug, your heart soars through your body, effortlessly pounding in your throat and in your fingers and everywhere at once. Liquid heat pools everywhere as Xavier screws up his face when you kiss his cheek, the same way Reiner does after he’s eaten something sour.

And maybe it’s a bit different, or a bit broken, the shards of their bloody history still poking at their heels whenever they think you’ve forgotten them, and it’s most definitely not perfect, but you would rather have it like this then anything else.

“Hey, guys!” Breaking apart, the family look over to see Armin, Annie, and Pieck walking over. Gabi and Falco meander a little bit behind, pushing Levi in his wheelchair, and Jean and Connie are running not far behind them, shouting at one another. You stifle a laugh and Xavier shimmies out of Reiner’s hold to run towards them. The girls follow after him, trying to hold back their runs but the closer they get, you can tell the more frantic they are to say goodbye.

So this is what they’ve made a peace. Something, you hope, is good.

Annie bypasses them quickly, making her way over to you and you survey her face as Reiner squeezes your shoulder, walking over to their friends. Her blue eyes are fixed on your face, and you feel your lips curving into a smile as she shoves her hands in her pockets. Her hair is swaying in the wind, gleaming flaxen, and you remind yourself, not for the first time, that Armin and Annie’s kids, if they ever decide they want them, will be gorgeous.

Hope for the future, and all that.

She stops in front of you, tucking a strand behind her ear.

“So,” she says at length, “we’re going back to Paradis. I’m surprised you decided to come with us. You don’t owe any of us anything.”

“I know. But… you’re my best friend. You do the talking, I fly the getaway plane, right?”

“Yeah. There used to be a time when it probably would’ve been the opposite.”

You nod, and they stand in silence for a moment, watching each other. Two women who should not have been friends, but were against all odds. You don’t think you would be here today if it weren’t for Annie.

Your heart lurches and you take a step forward just as she does, her mouth open to say something. You throw your arms around her and she lets out a noise in surprise as you close your eyes. Arms coming underneath yours, her hands dig into your shoulders and you smile against soft hair as she sighs, easing into your hug.

“Finally working together on an actual assignment,” you mumble and her head tilts as her small frame shifts, a hand patting you on the back as a sign for you to back up. “Just like we always said we would.”

Bluntly: “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“You, too.” Pulling back, the two look at one another for another soft moment before you remember the bag in your hand and you shift the bun up in the bag, extending it towards her. “Want some?” Her eyebrows rise in faint delight, before she’s reaching over, pinching and tearing a piece off.

You grin and do the same and you gesture for her to come stand by the rails with you, stuffing the bag into your coat pocket. Leaning against the warm metal again, you hear a seagull call. The plane you’ll be flying to Paradis floats on the water, the technicians giving it the final check before you take off.

If anything goes wrong while you help prepare and oversee accommodations for the rest of the ambassador group, you’ll remember to fire the black signal flare, but you trust Historia. You trust your friends.

You glance over at them, all laughing, and you notice that the flower has gone from Reiner to Pieck, who’s taking it out of her dark hair to tuck it into Jean’s, and his cheeks redden as he brushes it more securely behind his ear.

Annie catches your attention again, pointing out idly that they’ll have to separate soon when they finish with the plane, and you tell her to just wait a couple minutes more as Reiner catches your gaze. Setting Xav, who has somehow wormed his way back into his arms, down, he walks back over to you, and his hand trails purposefully over your back before resting at the nape of your neck, a reassuring weight on your body.

“You guys okay?”

“We’re fine,” Annie replies. “You have a clingy boyfriend,” she tells you.

“I think it’s charming.”

She rolls her eyes. Reiner smiles, and you pat the railing beside you—silent invitation. He leans in on your other side, clasping his hands and watching the fishermen pull themselves to shore, singing a tune to each other—one familiar to all three of them and one that you wish you could get out of your head.

“Soon may the Wellerman come…”

A faint breeze tickling at your fingertips as a sharp call for embarkment splits the harbour, you simply sigh and look over at Reiner. “I just want these last few moments to last.” His eyes meet yours, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyes. Annie lets out a soft noise of disgust and you bump your hip against her as Reiner pulls back.

Closing your eyes and lifting your head to the wind, you can almost imagine the one person missing standing on the other side of Annie, dark hair like spun, stained bronze and eyes like warm chocolate. He’d smile and tell them not to worry in that sincere way of his that makes you believe every word he says—as long as they were careful, they wouldn’t walk into any traps.

Your chest aches, and your lips tug into a heart-wrenching smile as you begin to sing along. Reiner slips a hand in between yours, pressing his temple against your head and you loop your other arm through Annie’s.

She rests her head on your shoulder, listening to your voice, eyes on the sailors bringing in their haul below them. Reiner hums the shanty softly, distractedly, eyes cast across the sea.

You tilt your head up to the sky, at the stars you cannot see but will join one day, and smile.

260 notes · View notes

cluelesslesbian · 3 years ago

Note

• lance choses his room first because he's pretty overwhelmed by the whole situation

• one minute he's seeing what pidge is up to with hunk back at the garrison

• the next, he's flying in a mechanical blue lion, meeting alteans in some castle on another planet

• he needed some alone time to think things over

• him, hunk, pidge, shiro and ugh- mullet head, are supposed to become the paladins of voltron?

• it was a lot to take in

• when could he see his family?

• would they possibly take a pit stop to earth?

• his family doesn't have a clue on where he is

• keith is following not far behind and notices which bedroom lance chooses

• he looks around the hall as if someone would be there to judge his decision

• and chooses the room right beside lance's

• not because he wanted some excuse to be near lance of course to possibly get rid of the whole rivalry thing

• it just...happened accidentally

• he finds himself regretting his decision

• when lance finds out he's a little taken back, assuming he'd choose a room next to shiro's

• he wasn't going to admit this either because they're rivals 😤

• but he was a bit happy to have keith's room near his

• and would hide how he really feels with a "god. i can't believe mr. drop out PURPOSELY choose his room next to mine just to bug the shit out of me, smh."

• keith's response to that would be something like: "ha...yeah, cause i hate you. a lot. there's no other reason why i choose that room. nope. not at all."

• lance gets obnoxious by blasting music in his bedroom purposely during random times of the day, singing along with the songs

• keith either kicks the wall (which does nothing)

• or comes in the room with his knife held up high

• because of their rooms being together, they're told to wake each other up

• keith ends up having to wake up lance more other than vice versa

• he walks into the room, awkwardly standing there and just kind of staring before actually attempting to wake him up

• he slides lance's headphones down gently and nudges his shoulder

• lance only mumbles, reaching out to grab keith's arm

• keith has a small gay panic and ends up yelling his name, yanking his arm away

• which freaks the fuck out of lance

• he doesn't shut up about how keith "aggressively woke me up like the castle was on fire! i thought getting older meant i wouldn't get crazy wake up calls like the one's my siblings would do."

• the rare and i mean rare times when lance wakes keith up

• lance will barley touch keith's shoulder and he jolts awake, grabbing his knife from under the pillow

• some nights when keith wakes up, due to a nightmare, he hears the gentle yet muffled from a guitar coming from lance's room

• sometimes he'll even hear him singing softly

• it soothes keith, making it easier for him to fall back asleep

• one time keith accidentally walks in on lance playing the guitar during the day

• he sorta freezes up but relaxes his shoulders after a moment

• they just sort of stare at each other in awkward silence

• keith: you know- i've heard you play before- not to sound creepy or anything...and uh, you're pretty good

lance: really? thanks man. playing usually helps me cope when i'm down in the dumps and has just become a hobby of mine

• then lance gives keith the softest smile ever that makes keith's heart pump as if he'd just ran laps around the castle

• he makes up a lame excuse to leave

• lance frowns at his sudden excuse and assumes he'd said the wrong things and starts apologizing

• keith waves him off, apologizing himself, telling lance he wouldn't mind hearing him play some more

• so lance offers he sits across from him as he played

• lance explains the song he's playing was his mothers favorite song, singing the lyrics in spanish

• keith had no idea what he was saying, but that didn't matter

• what mattered was the joy displayed on his face as he sung, confidence shining through his eyes

• at this moment keith had come to realize that his crush he had on lance might be something more

this one went from klance having rooms next to each other to keith pinning over lance playing the guitar- whoops

— 🌙 moon anon

YESYESYES

I cannot believe we have no context for how the paladins chose their rooms?? Like ajdkfl WHAT YOU WROTE IS SO GOOD- the creators couldve totally shown us how the paladins would cope after tough battles by showing us a scene like that???

aaaanyways now for my screeching

I LOVE the langst. like srsly.

Lance would totally feel comfortable with Keith's room next to his- BECAUSE Keith doesn't remember know him as well as the Garrison Duo

Like hear me out,, it's so much easier to let yourself feel sad when you know you don't have to worry about?? making others feel responsible for it????

So Hunk and Pidge would only make him bottle up his feelings more,

Hunk especially would feel bad about Lance feeling bad which would make Lance feel bad and itll just spiral right there

and Shiro is his HERO- absolutely no way Lance wants to show "weakness" around him (very unhealthy mindset btw! feelings ain't bad to have, but I get idk wanting to pretend youre invincible to look good in front of people u admire :/ )

But Keith???? yeah. he'll work....

idk maybe I'm projecting too much with that^ one ahdjfk MOVING ON

awkward keith checking to make sure no one is gathering evidence that he's a simp??? hilarious and completely logical bc pidge and shiro would DRAG HIS ASS if they found out 😂

KEITH PULLING OUT THE KNIFE EVERY CHANCE HE GETS- LIKE THE DRAMATIC KING HE IS??? *CHEF'S KISS*

klance x music! klance x music! klance x music!!!

like that whole last scene was so soft I'm in love with it 🥺❤

PINING KEITH!!! BUT AFTER GETTING TO KNOW LANCE again?? AND LIKE NOT NECESSARILY AWAY??? TOP NOTCH

@lesbianklance come get yall juice

112 notes · View notes

tastyykpop · 4 years ago

Text

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 3

Pairings: enemy, barista, student!jaemin x student, barista!reader.

Warnings: fluff, angst if you squint real hard

Anger and frustration was the only way to describe it. Plus the lingering feeling of humiliation when jaemin didn't give a direct answer. Students eyed the two of you, mostly you for your braveness to even confront the boy which was shocking from their point of view, knowing all too well of your history with each other.

For once though, you've seen jaemin hesitate and stutter with an answer. It was quite something really, and you couldn't believe it.

And it wasnt like it was a yes or no answer, he only blurted out, "W-we have tu-tutor sessions...later...." and walked away after a few seconds of looking at you. God, and everyone was whispering among themselves and friends like it was the hottest topic, which in a strange sense it kind of was.

You dragged yourself back to the table where yeri sat and put your head in your arms.

You felt stupid. This wasn't how you thought your day would go, nor did you think jaemin would say something like that. Instead, you thought jaemin would for sure say yes. The things he said, the way he acted, jaemin couldve passed as your boyfriend and you thought maybe now it was possible.

"Y/n are you okay?" Yeri put a hand on your arm and you shook your head, still buried in your arms.

"I hate him." Your voice came out muffled.

Yeri let out a long sigh, "Its going to be okay. There’s plenty of other guys you'll meet who'll be worth your time." She stopped when you lifted your head. The look on your face was melancholy and red, but she didn't know what she could do about it. "What about that taemin guy? He's pretty cute. And from what you told me, he's super nice." Yeri wiggled her eyebrow suggestively making you groan.

"I don’t want to hurt him." You frowned, not being able to imagine using him as a rebound, "I realized I don’t like him like I thought I did."

"I get it. But don't pain yourself over a boy." She shook her head and let out a quiet chuckle, "especially jaemin."

"But jaemins literally what I want. How am I supposed to ignore that?"

Yeri stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, "Its almost impossible to ignore feelings..." There was a short pause until she started again, "So maybe just...ignore him? I don’t know man, I’m not good at this stuff."

"Yeah no shit," You snorted, "but ignoring him is an option. He gets mad when I do things like that, and ignoring him would get his attention, which means," you took a deep breath and grinned, "I’d get my ass destroyed by him whenever he breaks!"

"That’s literally not at all what I meant by ignoring him."

You sat back in your seat, smiling like a maniac to yourself at the devilish plan that would possibly not end well for you.

"But it could work." You pointed out.

"Could doesn't mean would. You know what, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall." As yeri stood up and gathered her trash, you threw your pile along with hers just to annoy her. "This is why I'm your only friend."

"I thought you were going over jaemins for tutoring?" Jimin asked with a raised brow at your sudden intrusion into the apartment giving him no time to put a shirt on.

"I decided not to go." You shrugged, setting your bag on the floor. In reality, it was just the start of your plan of ignoring jaemin, but you weren't going to tell jimin that.

"Huh?? But you said he was good at trig and you would fail without him." As he tilted his head in confusion, you tried to come up with an excuse.

And not even a second later, an idea popped into your head, "I’m starting to understand it better." It wasn’t far from the truth to be honest, jaemin was doing a very good job at explaining, but in reality, you weren't perfect at all.

"Liar! You suck at trig!"

Your eye twitched, "I understand it slightly better."

"I still don't believe you." Jimin shrugged, "its only been like 2 days."

"I’m a fast learner." You huffed. Sadly your roommate knew you too well for you to lie. It wasn’t surprising anymore that he could point out just one flaw.

"Another lie. Now run along, I’m watching tv." Jimin shoo'ed you away with a hand motion. It took almost all your patience not to say anything in return, but it was pointless now.

Once in your room, you threw yourself onto the bed, not caring enough to close the door as you started changing from school clothes to regular shorts and a tank top.

Now once looking back at it, today was just a weird day. It was quiet in all the classes like someone just flipped a switch and one thing that threw you off the most was that jaemin didn’t ignore you completely like you thought he would, but instead he still helped with the work you were struggling with. Other than that he never talked to you. And it wasn’t like you wanted him to, you actually didn't want him to because of your little plan.

To be expected, you got multiple texts from him wondering where you were and why you weren't at his house and each text got more and more threatening so you just put your phone on silent and decided to take a nap until work. If this is how jaemin acts when you ignore him for barely a day then it should be easier to break him then you thought.

Rolling over in your bed, you closed your eyes, ignoring the aching feeling of anxiousness in your gut and tried to get some sleep. But sleeping was almost impossible. No matter how sleepy you were, or how heavy your eyes were, sleeping just didn't want to come. And you really didn't want to go on your phone because jaemin was calling you and in a matter of time you would probably answer it because you were just a little afraid of him.

Moving out of the bed and getting ready for work was your last option. Though the amount of black pants and white shirts that were lost from your closet made you realize how much you actually worked. The last time you had a day off was during summer vacation with jimin and a few of his friends plus yeri. Its been a while, and you kind of missed the break but you can't complain too much since you're making such good money.

After throwing on the clothes and lacing up your shoes, you left after saying good bye to jimin. Its still early, but you couldn't bring yourself to pass time until work and going there wasn’t as bad as one may think.

After you got in the car, you left the apartment, driving off to the cafe. You blasted some of your music on the way, singing the lyrics loudly since no one was in the car. You gotta say, driving alone is sometimes more fun since you can do stuff like this without people judging you.

Finally at the cafe, Irene happily greeted you, not giving you time to say hi back and started jumping up and down talking about her promotion to manager. She literally looked like she'd explode any minute from too much happiness.

"I get to boss you around even more than I did before." She grinned and you playfully shoved her to get to your station.

"If that’s possible." A little fist punched your shoulder as you laughed, "I’m kidding, I’m kidding."

"Hey, I'm not that bad! But I could be worse if you’d like." You covered your mouth to stifle the laugh that would come out when she sent you a wink.

There were many orders coming up, food, smoothies, coffee, anything. It kept you, irene, and your coworkers in the back completely occupied and busy. Youd even catch yourself drifting off into space because you were working too fast, almost messing some orders up too.

"I can bring this to the customer, go work on the other orders please." Irene rushed away after you smiled and did what she wanted.

Moments passed and after a few more drinks you saw the familiar black haired man walking into the back where you stood making a drink.

Jaemin didn't look all too happy when he saw you, so you tried your best to ignore him, but its not easy to ignore someone who’s been on your mind the whole day and somehow you're just figuring that out now.

He looked nice too, well he always does, but his black hair looked particularly very good. The way it was parted yet still fell over his face on some ends, and the way some parts stuck out just looked pretty on him.

"You’re here early...again." jaemin spoke while looking up at the orders, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"I was kind of bored at home." You muttered, moving as jaemin reached over you for a cup.

"Should’ve came to my house to study, maybe you wouldn't have been so bored." He lifted an eyebrow in your direction almost tauntingly and expecting a snap back but you stayed quiet, keeping it silent for a bit.

Jaemin was doing his order, and you did yours, though it did feel like time was just dragging you slowly through the day because you were so anxious near him. You felt as if he would break if you stepped out of place even just a bit. But wasn’t that your plan in the first place?

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Jaemin began and you looked up from the last drink you put in the tray. He had anticipated your answer as you suspired.

"I was sleeping.."It was obvious that you didn’t want to talk as you tried to walk away with the tray in hand followed by jaemin grabbing your shirt and pulling you back, the tray tipping slightly.

"Sleeping? How could you be sleeping when you read my texts? Now why are you lying to me?" Question after question, you tried wiggling out of his strong grasp and rolled your eyes to show you didn’t care. With only so much patience left, jaemin grabbed your hair, bringing your face closer to his. "I asked you a question so i suggest you answer before I spank your ass in front of everyone."

You stopped and nervously looked around the cafe to see if anyone heard him, but luckily for you everyone was minding their own business or not paying attention but still you couldn’t mask your shyness, "Y-you wouldn't do that. You're bluffing." You huffed.

Though you're not much shorter than jaemin, you felt small under his strong gaze, almost weaker near him too.

"Wanna bet?" He questioned and his sincerity was almost scary. You could feel his hand snake a bit too far down your backside and you pushed him off. "Answer me; why are you lying?"

"I don’t know." He slowly let go of your hair and ran his fingers through it. Nervousness fell over you, thinking he'd grab it again.

"You don’t know, huh." Jaemin said softly. You shook your head hoping he'd believe it.

"I-i don’t.."

Jaemin rolled his eyes, "Don’t lie or ignore me again."

"Yeah yeah whatever-" You cried when he grabbed and tugged on your hair again, making your face contort in pain, "Okay! Fine! I wont do any of that again!"

That being said, jaemin let go after giving you that natural look telling you not to push him today, or any day for that matter. "Little bitch." You mumbled.

"Call me that again, I dare you."

It took almost all of your self control to not flip him off.

Lee jeno, the infamous frat boy and fuck boy on campus, was jaemins closest friend. He was gorgeous, kind, and smart, but one thing that set you off about him was he could be quite rude. Just one flaw, and it happened to only be towards you. So you wondered; 'why the hell am I asking lee jeno for help when there's a hundred more men in this school?' Because jeno was jaemins closest friend. Plain and simple. The only thing is, your brilliant plan could fail. Either way it was a fifty-fifty chance.

"Lee jeno!" You called and ran up to the boy, confused as to why you looked happy to see him when you and him don't really like each other. "I have a question."

"I might have an answer." Jeno surprisingly smiled, now you see why people were whipped.

"I want to make jaemin jealous."

He stopped in his tracks and nervously laughed, "Why would you want to do that? Of all things?"

You smiled up at him, "I wanna be a pain in his ass so I have an idea and I need your help." Jeno scratched the back of his head, still not sure where you were headed with this conversation.

"Uhh...okay what is it then?" You happily jumped when jeno gave you the go to ask.

"Can you be my fake boyfriend?"

"You’re who-what!?" Jeno choked trying to find a hint that you were joking and just testing him or something, but you were dead serious and that's what made him scared. "So you’re plan to make jaemin jealous is to date me? Damn that’s kinda smart and bit bitchy."

You frowned, "I just like making him regret certain things and testing his patience is all."

"So a bitch," he shrugged, " but how the hell would this whole thing work? You and I don’t have a really good record with each other and hes well aware of that. Jaemins not dumb." Jeno pointed out as you tilted your head in almost a ‘you’re so stupid’ manner.

“Didn’t you take acting lessons?” There was a slight delay but he nodded nonetheless, “Then just act the part, lee. Its not that hard.” you rolled your eyes with a scoff, jeno playfully slapped your shoulder.

“Its not that simple! Its you for gods sake! How am i supposed to pretend to like you?”

“I dont know, you just do it.” Shrugging off the almost annoyed yet smiling boy, you noticed someone out the corner of your eye; the devil himself. Just staring at the two of you. Surprisingly, jeno took notice of that and grabbed your hand while walking close to you, never letting his smile fall, and walked around the school building to a bench.

"That was smooth." You mumbled earning a laugh from jeno. "See, was that so hard?”

The boy rubbed the back of his neck nervously with an eye smile, “I guess not, but do you really think he’ll fall for it?”

That was a good question and if you sat and thought about it more, you probably would’ve said no, but for some reason you pushed out a yes. Jaemins a jealous and possessive boy, there’s no way this shouldn’t work.

“Hell yeah. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“Well-”

“Don’t answer that.”

Currently, you and jeno were awkwardly flirting with each other in front of jaemin at the cafe. Light touches and small smiles and giggles was kind of annoying in jaemins eyes. But this was the best plan yet.

After not going to jaemins third tutor session and ignoring multiple other calls because he didn’t bother texting anymore, you were at the cafe on your day off just to piss him off. And for some reason, this was probably the most fun, yet awkward moment in your life.

"Is he still watching?" Jeno whispered as he smiled to make it seem as if he was flirting.

You quickly glanced up and jaemin was indeed still watching, actually glaring, but you couldn't even tell if it was at you or jeno, maybe even both.

"Hes still watching." You turned and grinned at him. "He looks very mad."

"I know something to get him more mad."

"And what would that be?" Raising an eyebrow at him, jeno suddenly grabbed you by your face and kissed your cheek.

"Now look back and tell me if hes still there."

You were shocked but did as he said and sure enough, jaemin was no where to be seen, "Hes gonna kill us..."

"No just you, I’ll be gone by then." He laughed when you sent him a glare. "This was your plan not mine."

"And this will for sure end my life later on," You faced jeno, "When was the last time he was really mad?"

Jeno sat back to think about it and let go of your hand that you forgot he was holding, "He got into a fight with one of our friends just a few months ago. You know donghyuck, right?"

You nodded your head. Of course you knew donghyuck, he was the biggest brat of them all and out of every one of jaemins friends, you got along with him pretty well, turning out to be very good friends. You haven't talked to him in few weeks though, college kind of messed some things up for you guys but you still try to keep in contact as much as possible.

"Well a few months ago jaemin and hyuck got into this huge fight."

"Was it as bad as that time mark and hyuck fought?" You asked and jeno shook his head.

"No it was probably worse. Jaemin was almost in a fist fight with him--actually no I think they did end up physically fighting." Jeno sighed, "Anyways jaemin was super cold to everyone and got into a lot of fights with some other people like me," he giggled at the thought, "It was also around the time he dumped coffee on your head."

Only jeno could bring back that stupid coffee incident and make you remember when you wanted to commit a murder.

"That was one of the worst things hes done to me don’t make me think of that." You whined, throwing your head back, "And hes done a lot of bad things."

Jeno grinned, he was standing next to jaemin at the time laughing at you. In his perspective it was funny, but for you, it was not.

"Not gonna lie it was kind of funny, but I did feel a bit bad."

"Woah. You felt bad for me!? Who the hell are you?" You said dramatically making jeno throw his head back in laughter.

"Someone who actually has remorse," He looked you up and down before starting again, "for some people."

You huffed, "And to think you were becoming nice." Jeno giggled one last time but it quickly faded away when a hand slammed on the table.

Both of you looked up at the boy with jet black hair, he was none too happy with all your laughing and 'flirting', and wanted to interrupt it the best he could.

"Hey jeno," jaemin nodded his head in his friends direction, somehow managing to make his anger dissolve into a real smile.

"Whats up?" Jeno smiled.

You sat back staring at the two, jaemins eyes were locked onto jenos and his hand was still sitting there. They were like statues.

"Oh you know...working and watching you dumbasses flirt." Jaemin painfully grit his teeth, still holding a smile and you tried not to laugh.

Out of all things you found cute, it was jaemins poor attempt at trying not to be angry or jealous. It was like watching a rom-com but in real life.

"Its disgusting." Jaemin mumbled.

He turned towards you, but with no smile like you didn’t deserve one which in this case you was probably true since this was your idea in the first place.

"I've never seen you come here on your day off. Isn't that a bit strange?"

"Jeno wanted something sweet," you lied, "and we have the best sweets. What, can I not come here on my day off?” Man did jaemin find you annoying right now. It was getting to the point that talking to you was becoming a chore. Either he couldn’t talk to you because you ignored him or you started speaking in ways that made his eye twitch.

"You're gonna be in so much trouble later." Jaemin muttered low enough for you to hear. Jeno smirked at jaemins words too, knowing this was working way too well for you. "I should get back to work before irene gets mad and you guys should get going too."

You raised a brow, "And why is that?"

"Jeno always brings his dates home to fuck."

"If you're jealous then just say it." You growled.

Jaemin looked between you and a red faced jeno and snickered, "Im not jealous, I already had my turn." He winked and walked away leaving you and jeno staring at each other with wide eyes.

"I...feel like this didn’t go as we intended.." jeno laughed but with no emotion, almost in a sadistic way.

You puffed out your cheeks, not sure what to do now that jaemin was playing like this too.

"I should bring you back home." He started standing but you grabbed his hand to stop him.

"No wait.” He looked down at you, “Isn't there a party later?"

"Yeah?" jeno tilted his head, wondering why you’re asking this question when you never go to any of the frat party’s.

"Lucas is throwing it right?" Jeno nodded his head and you perked up, "Can we go?"

It was a strange request, you never wanted to go to any parties because you worked and studied whenever you felt the need to, so parties were never on your mind. But right now, you felt that a party is what you need. You've never been but it can't be that bad if you're with someone. And you even know the host so there should be other people you know too. It would be fun anyway.

"If you really want to, but you might lose me at some point."

"That’s okay," your face said otherwise, "I’ll try to find someone I know." It wasn’t likely that you would, but you knew that the main people who were going to go was hyuck and lucas. There was also jaehyun and johnny, the only thing was you didn’t know them as well as hyuck or lucas and ever talked to them a few times. They were nice, but you probably wouldn't go up to them and strike up a conversation.

"Alright then let's go, the party’s gonna start in like two hours. And seeing how long it took you just to get ready for this stupid date, you’re probably gonna need it." Jeno pulled you up by the hand that stopped him before, and you both walked out of the cafe.

You got into jenos car and put on your seat belt waiting patiently for him to drive off. The only problem was that he was busy on his phone, trying to find music to play.

"Don’t look at me like that." Jeno did a double take at your unamused face that clearly stated you wanted to leave so you can get ready for the party.

"Then pick a damn song and let's go." You smacked his thigh repeatedly causing him to groan and put his playlist on shuffle, driving off after hitting play. "See, that wasn’t so hard now was it?"

"Your��e annoying. I cant believe i even said yes to this fake dating thing. Now I see why jaemin didn’t respond."

"Hey that's not very nice," you pouted, "and don't make me think of that for God sake, its depressing."

"Good now shut up and let me drive." And so you did, letting just the music and jenos quiet singing be the only thing playing in your ears.

It was a quick ride anyway from your job to the apartment, jimin was doing his normal thing which was sitting on the couch shirtless and watching dramas. The little up and down he gave jeno wasn't unseen by you either, but you never commented as you walked by with a smirk.

Jeno was close behind you too almost like a lost puppy. He even sat on your bed and watched you apply a bit of make up for the party and lazily lounged about as you picked an outfit, not sure whether to go with an innocent pink flowy skirt, or black ripped jeans.

"I like the skirt better," jeno hoisted himself on the bed, "it gives me better access-"

"Don’t even think about it!" You whipped a pillow straight to his head, he wasn’t quick to dodge as it hit him perfectly where you wanted it to, "I’m about to choose the jeans."

The boy tilted his head as he pouted at the two choices in your hand, Jeno preferred the innocent look on women but this wasn’t for him--in fact it wasn’t for anyone except yourself, but he couldn’t stop from staring at the pretty baby pink skirt.

"How about you try them on and pick which one you think looks better on you." He smiled that eye smile of his after having a little war with himself.

You nodded your head and rushed to the bathroom to throw on one of the bottoms first.

Once you came back, you stood in front of jeno with the jeans on and checked yourself out in the mirror. It hugged your waist sweetly and complimented your legs well, but you didn’t think this was going to be the winner out of the two.

"Okay maybe a skirt would look better." You whispered loud enough for jeno to hear.

"Told you! Skirts suit you better anyways." Jeno sat against the headboard in victory as you went back to change into a skirt. The only thing left was a top, but jeno seemed to already have that covered when he threw a white laced bralette at your face. "This is cute." He made heart eyes at the bralette you held up.

"It is but don't you think it would show too much?" You questioned, though you couldn’t lie that you were a bit tempted to wear it though it did cut a bit low.

"Dude its fine, a lot of other girls wear way worse stuff than what I just gave you."

You decided to trust jenos words, and left to put on the shirt. Unsurprisingly it looked amazing with the skirt and your beautiful skin. So maybe jeno was good at picking clothes out, but you wouldn't tell him that.

After doing any last few touches you had, you and jeno left after saying goodbye to jimin, who was still checking jeno out, and left for the party.

"You’re not gonna change?" You wondered as you sat in the car.

Jeno shrugged and smiled, "I’m a guy so I don't care what I wear."

"Thats cap."

Jeno rolled his eyes and began driving to the destination. Sometime during the ride you snatched his phone to find a good song to play, ignoring the boy who whined as you took it from him.

After finding a song and placing the phone back down, you carelessly started belching the lyrics out to purposely irritate jeno who was struggling to not pull the car over and leave.

"Y/n, who sings this song?"

"Michael Jackson, why?"

"Please keep it that way."

"I-"

"And we are here!!" Jeno slammed on his breaks and peacefully left the car as if he didn’t just insult your singing. You got out, a bit intimidated by the crowd of people standing outside dancing with drinks in hand while others smoked. Girls all in tight shirts that hugged them perfectly or the shorts that made their ass pop almost literally. Boys being boys by taking shots or chugging their beer in competitions. This was all new to you and somehow you found yourself clinging onto jenos arm like a little girl.

"Is it always this crowded?" You looked up waiting for his answer.

"Yeah but that's because it's lucas' party. He always knows how to bring people in," he looked around at some of the unfamiliar faces that were chilling by the entrance, "c’mon let's go inside."

Jeno dragged you in like you were the lightest thing and passed you a cup once at a table filled with drinks.

"Want something. Maybe a shot?" Jeno winked as you scoffed.

You looked between the variety of drinks, they were all too strong or too bitter for your liking because of your lack of drinking so it only made your face scrunch, "These are all disgusting."

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you're a light weight!" Jeno complained but needless to say he still grabbed your cup, barely filling it with some alcohol and handed it back.

You looked at the somewhat dark liquid and sniffed it. Not the sweetest scent, but it is what it is. Tilting your head back, you drank the small amount that jeno gave you and he watched with wide eyes as you coughed at the intense flavor. Something like a mix of cinnamon.

"...you just drank fireball.." jeno mumbled but you were still focused on the burning sensation in the back of your throat. It definitely isn’t a smooth drink and its fairly strong, something you can't take, but you shook the cup in his face for more, "Are you trying to get wasted?"

"Well we are at a party-"

"Y/NNN!!!!" A voice interrupted the conversation and you both turned to see none other than lucas himself running towards you with wide arms, two cups in hand, and a huge smile on his face. "I haven't seen you in so long!!" Lucas engulfed you in a bear crushing hug making jeno laugh behind you.

"You saw me last week." You said in his chest, still being crushed by the giant.

"That’s a long time for some people, be considerate man." Lucas let go, drinking out of the cup in his right hand. "So what brought you here? You never come to parties."

"I asked jeno-"

Lucas spat out his drink, "Jeno!?" He looked behind you to jeno smiling and waving at him. "I think i drank too much cuz im seeing shit." He stared into his drink.

Jeno chuckled and took the other drink out of lucas' hand, "You aren't seeing things." He started drinking from the cup and Lucas frowned watching the younger. "She just wanted to come with me for some reason."

Lucas looked at you and you nodded back, "Then now that you're here, get drunk so we can play games."

"More fireball?" Jeno lifted the bottle up and Lucas nodded.

"More fireball."

You shouldn't have taken more than 2 shots of fireball. It was impossible for you to think straight, in fact, you found yourself sitting on jenos lap with him being equally as drunk, well, maybe not as bad but still pretty hammered.

There were even times where you both would start flirting with no context. From someone else's point of view, it was probably funny, but to you and him, it was like you wanted to get into each others pants.

"Look," jeno lazily pointed over to the entrance where seulgi walked in with jaemin close behind. "I have a plan if you wanna do it."

"Hmm," you frowned at the two, jaemin was smiling at seulgi who was talking his ear off and giving him subtle flirtatious hints while she walked to the drink table, "Sure what is it?"

Smirking, jeno moved his hand lower on your waist, "Promise you won't kill me after this?"

"Depends on what you're gonna do."

Jeno reached to take a sip of beer, knowing that after this night he'd be throwing up from all the drinking, "Ill do it when he looks over."

A drunken pout sat on your face as you were so curious to know what he had in mind, but jeno still grinned at your behavior, rubbing up and down on your waist.

What shocked you the most was when jeno suddenly put his lips on yours. You've figured out by now that this was his plan so you didn't push him off.

Though you couldn't see it, jenos was staring into jaemins eyes as he smirked against your lips. It was like he beat jaemin at something and came up to the top for once. But you were too focused in making out with jeno to even notice the burning eyes in your back, watching as jeno gripped your hips and kissed you back hungrily like a devil. He tasted like alcohol and you couldn't say you were any sweeter, but maybe it was the intoxication that made you start to enjoy this moment a little more than you should’ve.

"W-what the hell...?" Jeno pulled back hesitantly looking behind you. Trying to look back, jeno took you by the face making you look at him, "Please only look at me."

"Whyyyy?" You leaned into his hand and jeno almost softened up but clenched his jaw in return.

"Drink some water." He changed the subject, handing you his bottle of water that he kept with him the entire time for whenever any of you needed it, and right now seemed like the time.

You swatted his hand away, almost spilling the water and started, "But I wanna look."

"Unless you want to see jaemin shoving his tongue down seulgis throat, I suggest you don’t."

"Hes what!??"

Jeno giggled like a little school girl probably from your furious face, "Its what you get, so don't even get mad when you do the same thing."

"But you’re the one who kissed me first, I only went along with it." Your growled and took a heavy chug from the water you pushed away. "I’m mad at you."

"Should’ve pushed me off."

"I figured you did it for a reason."

"Then don’t get mad."

"I- you- I'm gonna be mad!!"

Jeno rubbed his temples like you were the most infuriating thing known to man. He doesn't know how jaemin could put up with you and hes amazed how far he got with your antics. It was ticking him off but he didn't want to just drop you now, it was still somewhat fun.

"We should go dance." You looked towards the many groups of sweaty people grinding on each other, having a good time enjoying the party. You sighed, it would be fun you thought.

Jeno perked up at your sudden mood change noticing how you weren't in the slightest mad anymore, now registering that you have mood swings when you're drunk or tipsy.

"I don’t dance."

"Don’t lie! You're literally a dancer, c’mon!" You got up off his lap and hoisted him up, bringing him to the dance floor. He placed his hands on your hips as you moved against him, just letting the music flow through you and let your body move on its own.

You didn’t actually care if jaemin saw you grinding on his best friend because right now, you were actually having fun. Maybe it was because you were wasted or maybe it was because of the excitement and happiness here that made you love it so much. Either way, you found joy just dancing with jeno.

"Isn't this fun?" You moved your head to smirk at him, but jeno seemed a bit uncomfortable.

"Maybe if you weren't grinding on me, I'd say yes, but right now it's a hard no."

You knew what he meant and that’s why you pushed back a bit. Stopping when he gripped your hips in a way that hurt a bit.

"Stop it y/n." He whispered in your ear.

You whined and said, "Make me." Jeno stood back, not sure what to do right now. He may be a fuck boy but he has boundaries. Plus you’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying.

"We should go home."

"But I wanna dance and have fun with you!!" You voice came out slurred and jeno automatically took another step back.

"Not gonna happen, you’re wasted." Grabbing your hand, he walked towards the front door so he could bring you home, but of course this would be the perfect time for jaemin to stop him.

"Whats wrong with her?" His voice was laced with concern seeing your current state; droopy eyes, and a way too happy smile.

"Shes drunk so I’m taking her back home." Jeno tried walking passed but jaemin stopped him again. If jeno wasn’t as drunk or tispy, jaemin probably would’ve let him bring you back, but jaemin couldn’t be so sure and wanted you safe. Plus, he may or may not be a bit mad at jeno.

"No stay, I can bring her back." Jaemin pushed, not because he wanted to show you discipline for the last few days, but because he was genuinely worried for your current state.

"What about seulgi?"

Jaemin looked back at the girl who was now talking with some of her friends, clearly not paying attention or taking notice of his disappearance. "She'll be fine." He brushed it off, "Lemme take y/n."

It took a few seconds for jeno to let go of your hand and stand back for jaemin to take you before you fell over. But he was so gentle with you, and because of that jeno was sure jaemin wouldn’t do anything bad to you.

"Be careful." Jeno said, jaemin nodded back and walked away with you slightly stumbling down the stairs just after he said that.

You started giggling at yourself while jaemin was actually struggling to keep you up. Somehow though, he made it to the car before you tripped and out your seat belt on before climbing in the drivers seat.

"Nana, where are we going?" You slurred.

Jaemin smiled at the little nickname you never used, "To my house if that’s fine with you."

"Your house is nice." Leaning against the window, you rested your head as you started zoning out.

Jaemin didn't mind though, he wanted you to get some rest, at least before he got to his house so he could put you to bed. But it wasn't like you'd sleep for long because the drive was only 5 minutes.

When jaemin started carrying you out, that was when you started putting up a fight. Not only was jaemin try his best to not get angry, but he also tried to reason with himself when you started whining and pushing him away. Either sweet talk or show who's in charge.

"Y/n please cut it out, I’m just bringing you to my room." Jaemin groaned, struggling to keep you still in his arms.

"But I wanna walk."

"You can barely walk right now."

You didn’t care and continued moving around and kicking his arms away trying to get him to put you down, but just like you--he was stubborn and he carried you the whole way to his bed.

Softly putting you down, he went to grab some clothes for you. When he came back you already discarded your skirt and were about to take your bralette off until jaemin stopped you.

"What are you doing?" He pulled your hand away from the strap.

"I wanna play with you."

Jaemin shook his head at your sad face and pulled your body closer to his so he could start getting you changed, "Its almost 3am and you're drunk." but you whined once he rejected you.

“So what? Im still giving you my consent anyway.” You said, smiling at him as he took your top off, quickly putting a shirt on to cover you up. He wondered how you could wear such a tight top without feeling uncomfortable.

“You're not giving me full consent, y/n. I’m not gonna take advantage of you.” He stepped away after dressing you. Jaemin had only put a shirt on you and just left you in your underwear since it seemed the most comfortable.

Jaemin changed too, only wearing sweatpants and no shirt because he was most comfortable that way himself, and crawled into bed with you. Somehow you found yourself already snuggled into his chest, breathing in his delicious cologne.

“Goodnight nana.” you mumbled into his chest.

“Goodnight princess,” jaemin hesitated for a second before speaking again, “nana loves you.”

You woke up to a painful headache and an empty bed. You knew where you were at least, but didn’t know how you got here. The last think you remembered was sitting with lucas, jeno and some other people playing a game of beer pong. That was probably when you got hammered, but why where you at jaemins house?

As much as you wanted to sit up and go find jaemin, your headache is what kept you in bed.

“Jaemin!!” You screamed, the sound of feet came running up the stairs.

“What is it? Are you okay? Do you need water? Medicine?” Question after question and jaemin seemed worried at your distressed state.

“Medicine and water would be nice actually.” You murmured and jaemin was already on his way to get what you needed.

Jaemin handed you two pills and a glass of ice water. You thanked him and took them, swallowing both the pills and the water at the same time.

“Do you need anything else?” His face still held concern and you almost wondered why he wasn’t mad at you like he had been for the past few days. Though you easily brushed it off as a sign that maybe he let you off the hook.

“No I’m good now.” You shook your head causing jaemin to sigh in relief and fall on the bed next to you. He gave you space, letting you cuddle and wrap yourself up in his blankets assuming that you were trying to find ways to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. And as much as he wanted to hold you, he was almost too scared to. It was funny really. Jaemin; the most out-going yet introverted person ever, was too scared to touch you right now.

Maybe it was his feelings getting the best of him or maybe he was too scared to finally fall in love with someone hes afraid of hurting in the end.

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sanchoyo · 3 years ago

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danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #me on the first post:#its not a liveblog!#me this time: it kinda is. but not in the same format as my tmm one #i like doing one post for a handful of eps bc it saves time #and crowds my blog less #and also i just like talking abt what im watching lol #dp thoughts

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demonicintegrity · 4 years ago

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Some Kipo character-based thoughts

Scarlamange is most definitely going to have an arc or two in the future. I say two because I feel like just one in one season isn’t gonna be enough for him to be redeemed and more emotional stable. In my mind Kipo could go on for two more seasons before I see material getting stale.

Speaking of emotional stability I honestly believe Hugo and Wolf are the most emotionally damaged characters of the show.

Hugo was treated as a labrat, was respected/care for by only two people who he then thought couldve been dead only to realize they left without him, took it as a sign of rejection, has majoR abandonment issues and Im sure an identity crisis somewhere in there, and just lost his only other dream/passion which was monarchy. Dudes been through some shit and has been shown to be borderline manic in some ways. Yet he STILL seems to wish for some sort of companionship, especially with Kipo.

Ill never get over how he called Kipo “little sister”

God i want more bonding moments between Kipo and Hugo, even if he cant find himself completely loving Lio again, I want him to have a good relationship with Kipo ;;;v;;;

Wolf is our other emotionally scarred child. Seriously, the trauma of having a family raise you only to turn and try to kill you is rough. Like really rough. **and no one else knows** She’s literally living and dealing with the damage on her own. I feel like we’re gonna see her have a mental breakdown if she ever opens up to anyone about the trauma shes been through. The wiki says shes 10, which is soooo young omg I wanna hug her.

Speaking of Wolf, I have a personal headcannon that she never gave herself a name after she left her wolf pack. Whatever name they gave her is likely the only one shes ever known herself to be. Shes never given a name and seem fine being called Wolf and whatever else the co comes up with.

I also have no idea who Wolf skinned for her pelt but the idea of a girl less than 10 being able to kill, cook, eat, and make a goddamn pelt out of an animal is horrifying in its own right. I also feel like she wears the wolf pelt because she doesn’t have a whole lot of identity out of it. She was literally raised by wolves. It’s likely the only solid form of identity she was given. Makes me wonder if she’ll revamp herself at some point. She is very young. She’s likely going to change a lot over the course of her life

God i hope as a teen and adult Wolf is able to get therapy and be a much more relaxed and happy person.

If season 2 was any indicator Jamack might just show up for one episode and then just disappear again. In way it’s kind of fitting since he seems to just be floating along with life now that he’s not apart of the Mod Frogs.

Speaking of which. idk if he was there for the coronation but I feel like Jamack’s reaction to his former boss and colleagues being fucking dead HAS to be dead at some point. Like,,,, theres some more emotional baggage for him to deal with

Holy shit them being turned into statues like that was fucking brutal my dude. and the implications that Scarlemange was down to do it again potentially is sooo fucked. I havent gotten *that* kind of brutalness in a children’s show since when White Diamond pulled out Steven’s gem in CYM.

Seriously, its rated TV-Y7 on netflix.

Back on track, Jamack is totally Kipo’s uncle figure who just floats by every now again from whatever new thing he’s doing. Dude’s really interesting and I adore his attachment to Kipo and I really hope it’s explored more. Good lord Lio’s reaction to him could be comedy gold if played right.

TD:LR I want more Jamack content and more Kipo/Hugo bonding content. Also give Wolf therapy 2k20

Why didn’t Kipo just break down the wall in the final episode. Wouldn’t that be so much easier than tipping over the tree. Literally just,,, break a wall and let everyone out. I get it’s a drop down but it’s not like they were gonna be able to use the entrance they got in with anyways with the gold in the way. Just,,,, break the fucking wall next time.

Also, if Scarlemange’s plan did work out and he really was Emperor, it wouldn’t last for long. Ignoring his own personal baggage that could/would interfere, I simply doubt he understands what goes into running a functional society. Doubt they were giving him textbooks on civics and government to read while in the burrow. It wouldn’t have been long before some of the other gangs got pissed at him for something or being overthrown started being planned. I suppose it was better for him that it ended before it could start, because I’d hate to see the spiral he’d go on with that.

#holy shit this turned out soooo long #long post #kipo #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #scarlemange #jamack #kipo wolf #headcannons

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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years ago

Text

Midnight Meadows (Pt.5)

-------------------------

"What happened! I thought he was dancing with you all night!"

"I dont know what happened! Just fix him!"

Virgil whined as his eyes fluttered open, it took him a few seconds to register where he was, and what had happened to him.

"Virgil!" Roman's arms were around him almost as soon as he sat up.

"Nonononono you arent getting up right now, lay back down, just relax," Roman said, sitting on the bed so Virgil's head was in his lap when he lay down.

Virgil tried to explain, but he couldnt seem to get anything out.

"Whoever did this cut pretty deep. . . I dont know when you'll be able to talk again. . ." Roman said sadly.

Nonononononono this cant be happening-I have to warn him if I don't hes going to get hurt and it's going to be all my fault! Virgil's mind was racing now. Oh gods why hadnt his stupid school offered sign language lessons!.

Virgil sat up again, frantically gesturing and trying to convey what he was thinking.

"Virgil please relax, I dont want you hurting yourself," Roman said, pulling Virgil closer. Virgil was crying now. Roman was going to get hurt and he wouldnt listen and WHY were men so FRUSTRATING!

"You're not going anywhere alone, and the parties have all been cancelled, you're safe now, I promise," Roman said. A small consolation in Virgil's racing mind, at least if the party was over it would be harder for Lucan and who ever he was working with to get inside, no guests, no easy disguises.

"Well while you to love birds are busy I'm gonna go check up with the guards to see what the hell it is we're paying them for if a 4'8 gremlin can fight off attackers easier than they can keep them out," Remus said from the doorway before leaving.

So it was just Roman and Virgil, alone, Virgil's mind about to explode from the different scenarios playing through it, and Roman rubbing circle's into his back, blissfully unaware that, thought Virgil's disruptions had prolonged it, someone was hoping he'd never move again.

"It'll be alright Vi, I promise, we'll get you to a healer and you'll be patched right back up in no time," Roman said, running a finger down the side of Virgil's face. Virgil let out another whine and buried his face further into the warmth of Roman's shirt.

"I know darling I know," Roman continued, placing a kiss on Virgil's head.

Virgil could hardly look at him the rest of the day, not during dinner, not when he tried to take his mind off the attack with dancing or serenades or anything else.

It hurt, everything hurt. He'd known this man for all of one week now but merely looking at him and knowing it couldnt last, it stung. It stung so badly Virgil wished that ditch had killed him, maybe then he wouldnt have to worry anymore.

"Virgil I wish I could understand what's going on in that head of yours. . . I can tell you're upset but- I cant tell why. . ." They were laying on Roman's bed again, Roman running his fingers through Virgil's hair, Virgil crying into his shirt, again.

They'd finally found someone to heal the wound in Virgil's throat, but it was a slow process, Virgil was just begging for something to speed it up, every day that passed was another day where he woke up in a cold sweat from nightmares and had to frantically check to make sure the sheets next to him were red with fabric, and not blood.

"Mmm," was the only response Virgil could seem to make.

"Do you want something to drink? Would that help?" Roman said softly. Virgil responded with a groan. Roman swept him off his feet and had barely reached the dining room before Virgil leapt up and rushed into the kitchen himself.

"Virgil just once cant someone make you something? I get you're worried but no one's going to poison us," Roman said, standing next to Virgil's chair. Virgil gave him a frantic look.

"Alright, alright," Roman said with a resigned sigh before sitting down again. Virgil made his way into the kitchen and got started on drinks, eyes flitting toward Roman every time he passed the dining room entrance.

Virgil finally finished the drinks and sat down next to Roman, looking back and forth anxiously as he curled their tails together.

"Virgil are you sure you cant write it down or something? You're acting more stressed than usual," Roman said, running a hand along one of Virgil's ears.

Virgil bolted upright. How hadnt he thought of that before? This whole thing couldve been avoided if he'd just remembered pen and paper were a thing! Roman held him back to his seat and waved off one of the guards to get a dry erase board and some markers.

"See? We'll fix it, nothing to worry about," Roman said, smiling.

That smile quickly turned to a look of dismay as Virgil began writing it out. Roman's hand instinctively went to his own throat, Virgil prying it away almost instinctively as the memory of his nightmares flooded back to the surface.

"Guards? Secure every exit you can, and I want a full background and security check on all members of staff, increase protections for my brother and his boyfriends, warn Virgil's family that he wont be visiting until this is over," Roman said, holding Virgil close to him as he pointed at each of the guards in turn.

"I'm sorry darling I shouldve noticed something sooner, you'll be alright, I'll be alright, everything will be fine," Roman said, sweeping Virgil off his feet again and pressing their foreheads together.

Roman may have been aware of the threat now, but that didnt satiate Virgil's worry as much as he'd hoped.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@ray-does-stuff

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@pricklyfish777

@the-sad-strawberry

@extercs-experiences

@theonetruebeepboop

@mycatshuman

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

@meowthefluffy

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

@llilli16

#cori writes #catboy au #long post #ts remus #ts virgil #ts sides #ts roman #tw murder mention #tw blood mention #tw crying #tw panic attack #tw paranoia

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ybhanrui · 4 years ago

Photo

so heres me again... scribbling through my thoughts about #TheGiftedEP6 i re-learned how to upload pictures now

i have a huge amount of love for Pang ever since because of his character thats why my initial reaction to everything that happens is how will this affect him. i can't even fathom the pain he's going through. seeing everything go down and blaming himself.

i actually have a lot of thoughts more to process

but let me just prioritize Pang. he has this big responsibility in his shoulders and he always felt like he needed to do something for him and he's loved ones. the one who wears the crown, must bear its weight. it breaks my heart to see him down and feel so helpless. he has a lot in his plate with people really depending on him. he didnt want to be the leader/catalyst, but he did everything--more than what he can offer. please, be strong, Pang. hang in there.

second, GUN ATP ACADEMY AWARDS. this and the last EP really explained how trust can easily be ruined and how mistrust from each other can create destruction within the system. Khun Darin was a snake in her own. She took advantage of the growing doubt between the XV and purposely used Punn to start the division. She knew Punn’s abilities and though Punn was able to withstand her in the first part when he said something like “Whatever Parawet says”, the growing doubt and mistrust within the group fuel the fire for Punn to eventually fall to Khun Darin’s trap. While my friend and I watched the part when Pang didnt disclose his plan with Punn, i knew that its gonna spark the push needed for Punn to really switch. And also his potential is on a heat because of his fight with Claire - the piece that has been holding back all of his other personalities. I get Punn tho, Pang couldve really just tell but I also get the internal feud between the boys and girls in which Pang is in the centerpoint. Pang was placed in a very diff situation.

third, FIAT ANGELO ANOTHER ACADEMY AWARDS. god the look of pure evil and no regrets get me every time. he was smiling like he didnt just stab Punn and gassed all his friends. the smile mom. he’s insanely good. okay, now for his reasons, do I get some part of what his point was, the totality doesnt really sit well. his method was really wrong and he wanted something radical but wrong. he wasnt satisfied with the system as it is thats why he wanted to alienate what he thought was the problem. you see the thing is, the system was the problem that Pang wanted to fix from the inside. But Korn wanted to remove something from the system which would create an imbalance nature. I hate Korn, his betrayal, and ideals so much but NOT the point of him dying jesus no--- not like that.

next. an important part. aside from answering some of the mysteries, it was so nice and warm to know that Chanon was watching over them silently all along. and how the gifted juniors sparked a need for change in society. the gifted is really a family. it was like Chanon was this guardian angel looking at them from a far and ready to come and rescue (just like this) when its necessary. i really love this part. and can i just emphasize, his talk with Pang on CHANGE was very timely. and boi the relief i felt when some of the theories and unanswered questions were already finally explained. its been really hard to walk in a dark road and not knowing what you're finding. this shed some light to why are they doing what they doing.

it also makes it a lot easier for us to process and digest things when you actually know whats going on

another one, tf you mean Time is dead? No that doesnt make sense to me. He isn’t dead, i can feel it. Theres no body or anything so no he cant be. We’re not having 2 gifted dead students here just to frame up Director Suport and force his resignation so the Minister and Darin could enter. no that aint it. i have my theories, which includes ‘Time’ and Wave. But let see where this goes.

last, and please. my darling Wave. Wave, sweetie, I know you're angry, confused, and hurt but please trust Pang on this. He has his reasons you know he does. This is a lot for you also but please don't leave Pang. You were always his shoulder and support system. He needs you most now.

#the gifted #the gifted graduation #gmm25 #gmmtv #fuck gifted #the gifted season 2 #thai series #parbdee

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zhuhongs · 5 years ago

Text

Here’s my long ass review of TGCF that literally no one asked for it i have opinions and I have no one to tell them too so i must write them out and post them. (also part of this is abt the mdzs novel bc i can’t not compare them and I have a lot of thoughts abt that too)

This is very very long so it’s going under a read more. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so first off this book was a fucking behemoth i can’t believe i read all of that (minus the extras) in under a week.. what the fuck. I definetly got reading fatigue halfway thru book 3.

I’m gonna separate my thoughts into sections bc i have a few points that don’t all relate

firstly, overall writing and organization:

I said it earlier but tgcf is a lot more structurally sound than mdzs imo. My biggest criticism of the MDZS novel (minus the bad sex scenes, homophobia, and general I hate mxtxness of it) was the way the flashbacks were presented.

Like OH MY GOD they were presented so badly. I hated that the flashback was told intermittently and only when one of the characters invoked the past. For example, when WWX meets Jiang Cheng and a second time, Jin Ling distracts JC to release “Mo Xuanyu” bc he saved his life in the Nie Ancestral hall earlier. WWX then proceeds to be the self sacrificing dude he is and take away Jin Ling’s curse and put it on himself. When he escapes and returns to LWJ, LWJ offers to carry him.

If you watched CQL, you know exactly what LWJ is referring to when he says smth to the effect of “You once offered to carry me too, remember.” HOWEVER in the novel you don’t know what he’s talking about. This is because the flashback wasn’t been revealed to you yet. The next chapter goes to tell the flashback. I think that this takes away all of the emotional depth away from the scene. But in CQL, having the flashback already be known, you make the connection on your own and are like “awww wangji remembers that.. even 16 years later.“ Its a lot sweeter bc you know what the two have gone thru. At this point in the MDZS novel its barely the 30th chapter or so and you have no real idea what wangxian have been thru together or what reasons wangji has for loving wwx. You just think, well obviously they like each other bc this is a danmei novel and they are the two leads, ofc they have to like each other. But in cql, you learn through watching them that they’re in love. It’s not just like”well they have to be!! its a bl!!”

Okay that was a rlly long side tangent but it makes me so angry. So what did any of that have to do with TGCF?? well tgcf doesn’t have this issue. In fact, i believe that it gains a lot from having the flashback withheld from the reader.

I really liked how the flashbacks were contained to books 2 and 4 respectively because it adds a layer of mystery. Hua Cheng is a very secretive man so it makes sense for us to not know everything about him upfront. The way that the author teases and hints little things at you make you want to know more, making it all the more satisfying when the truth is revealed. Because in a way you Know that Hua Cheng meets Xie Lian before and you know that he’s the child XL saved during the God Pleasing Ceremony but you don’t know all the details. Like obviously since Hua Cheng is a ghost you know that he’s died and it was likely for Xie Lian or Xian le’s sake but you probably never expected that he actually died twice. Once on the battle field and second when he took the human face disease. I think the difference between these flashbacks and the flashbacks in MDZS result from the length. In TGCF you get two long concise flashbacks that make sense to be placed where they are. Book 2 because you already have a feel and hint at what the characters have been through and book 4 because the White No Face appears again so then you learn how he and Xie Lian met before. It wouldn’t make sense to place book 2 any earlier bc there is no emotional impact. And it doesn’t make sense to place book 4 earlier because you don’t know what the white no face’s deal is so it’d be confusing. In MDZS, you get numerous short flashbacks happening alongside the main story and it makes it hard to piece together the timeline in a way that feels satisfying. Ik a lot of ppl grill cql for having a confusing intro episode and having a rlly long flashback but its much better than the mdzs novel. However the mdzs donghua handles the flashback in the most concise way imo.

Overall i think the way the story is structured is very good and is a step up from mdzs. Also the horror aspects of tgcf are rlly enjoyable and honestly i think mxtx should just write short horror stories at this point. like enough long ass novels chock full of fetishization. just write some fun horror with no romance and call it a day.. pls

Side Characters:

okay so straight up, i think the side characters arent used as well as they were in mdzs bc mxtx wanted to focus on hualian and didn’t want to give the side characters as much focus. This is a weaker point of the novel.

I’ll get into it more below but i think hua cheng was done dirty as a character by having him rlly only care abt xie lian. Since he doesn;t have any real relationships with others outside of xie lian this takes away from having more depth in the side characters. They’re really only related as far as xie lian’s relationship with them. Though thankfully xie lian gets rather close with a few officials and the ones we get to see more of are rlly interesting. I especially loved the reconciliation of mu qing, feng xin, and xie lian at the end of book 5. honestly their relationship was one my favorites and i’m glad they finally said what they had to say to each other after 800 fucking years. Also Shi Qingxuan is a delight. we stan sqx in this house.

The characters i wish we had seen more of were yushi huang (although she didnt rlly want to be there, good for her), Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu. I very much wish yizhen and yin yus story happened earlier on and we had more time with them. It felt strange to have their subplot occur towards the end and it was sort of out of place but i liked them a lot!! i wish there was more to it. and that there was a reconcilation but mxtx hates happy shidi’s doesnt she, (glares at novel jc). Also man yin yu did NOT have to die like that i’m sad.

Also, honestly.. i don’t think qi rong added to the story whatsoever and i have no clue why he and guzi were there. qi rong just pissed me off the whole time and added literally nothing.

going back to yushi huang, i’d like to say for the millionth time that i hate how mxtx uses any of her female characters. like we get it.. u hate women being useful... im still pressed but what i want to say has been said many times before so ill leave it at that.

Hualian:

I really really did like hualian at the end. They had a truly epic love story and it was so beautiful, especially when hua cheng repeated his words as wuming to xie lian as he started to disappear. But, I said it once and i’ll say it again. I don’t think Hualian is a super healthy relationship. As fiction its fine (i firmly believe fiction impacts reality but let me finish), i guess bc literally nothing about their situation can be replicated irl and none of it ended up containing manipulation or abuse or anything bad but there was a potential for it to and i’m really glad it didnt go that route.

Hualian is a highly idealized and romanticized relationship full of some truly troubling feelings of self worth. While its “beautiful” in a way that hc really was xls most devoted believer, it wasnt healthy for him to live for xl like this. Nor was it healthy for xl to feel so unworthy of hua chengs love.

Hua Cheng’s devotion to Xie Lian is a little too extreme and it bothers me. When the truth was revealed abt the Temple of 10,000 Gods I had the same reaction as Mu Qing and Feng Xin. I was like... HEY WHAT THE FUCKK that’s a little uh... thats NOT HEALTHY,, dianxia PLEASE say smth. But ofc Xie Lian didn’t say fucking anything and and i was so pissed. Like the whole thing of Hua Cheng living his life solely for XIe Lian is really kinda fucked up and not romantic. I was holding out hope that at some point XIe Lian would sit him down and be like “Hey! I love you and i’m really grateful that all these years you’ve still believed in me when no one else did. But you can’t just live your life for my sake. You deserve love from many other other people and deserve to have a life and happiness outside of me. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to not only think of me.” or something to that effect

It bothers me that after Xie Lian learns the truth he doesn’t once reassure Hua Cheng that he didn’t have to make Xie Lian his reason for existence. Like.. idk i just think that’s rlly kinda unhealthy. Like I understand why Hua Cheng is so deeply devoted to Xie Lian-- he saved his life twice and was the only one to ever show him kindness and he’s seen xie lian suffer a fate worse than death multiple times. I get that he wants to protect him and make his life easier, but to not let anyone else into his life and spend 800 years looking for xie lian is just overkill. Like if the whole 10k statues thing never happened i’d be 100 percent fine with hualin but the whole devotion to that extent... uhhh yea.. no that put a bad taste in my mouth. Obsession should not be romanticised. I don’t think any reader of tgcf is going out and deciding to live like hua cheng obviously but still.

Also Side note, the whole 100 swords scene.. bro i felt for hua cheng, the way he screamed seeing that, i don’t blame him. I was so horrified reading that chapter. i don’t think i’ve been so horrified by a piece of media like that in a while. Poor fucking xie lian.. oh my god. I understand the intense reaction he had and how seeing that prompted such a degree of loyalty but still.. 10k statues?? the cave that mu qing and feng xin saw... thats a little too much obssession... like please.. dial it back.. im begging u.

I was talking to mary (liviahyes) and she said smth abt how Hua Cheng doesn’t have a character outside of xie lian. And she’s right, he kinda doesn’t. If Xie Lian didn’t exist neither would Hua Cheng. I get that that counds kinda romantic but in practice i don’t think its a good things. Especially because Xie Lian has a story outside of Hua Cheng, hehas goals, he has friends, he has something. Hua Cheng said it-- his only dream is Xie Lian. Which is romantic but very very unbalanced.

THAT BEING SAID, i still rly liked their relationship and i think theyre cute they just have issues they need to work through. I mean they have time but yea. It wasn’t perfect but eh. overall i’m bitter bc they couldve been THAT COUPLE but theyre so many bad implications as mentioned above and i.. smh. They still have amazing moments. Like the lantern scene, the alter scene, the “what matters is you, not the state of you”, the end when hua cheng helps release the shackles on xie lian, the scene where hua cheng disappears, the way xie lian waited for him, like they were so close to being THAT COUPLE but then mxtx and her fujo ass just had to make it uncomfortable like that. i’m so bitter. Like the reason why i wrote out all of this is bc this novel could’ve been great but so many little things added up and made the experience far more sour than it shouldve been.

MXTX did hua cheng SO DIRTY by not giving him a character much outside of loving xie lian and being good at everything. Like when I first learned abt how Hua Cheng beat 33 heavenly officials at what they excel in best i was like WHO IS THIS LEGEND but honestly.. he rlly doesn’t have any motivations outside of helping xie lian and I wish he had more to him . Like if we had more situations like the one where hua cheng dug out his own eye to save the group of mortals on mount tong’lu then he’d have been a much more well rounded character. Honestly, that’s rlly the only instance where he seems to have taken xie lians ideals to heart. I wish we had more of that bc that scene was so cool. i wish it hadn’t been revealled so late and there was more than one occasion where he defends others (minus xie lian ofc) without anything for himself to gain that.

To contrast hualian with wangxian, i think wangxian work so well bc at their core, they have the same life goals and same ideas about people and the world. Where in hualian, xie lian has core principles and morals and hua cheng is just like, anything for xie lian. SMH they couldve been great but overall i think hualian falls flat for me because of my own fear of dating someone who doesn’t have a life outside of dating me. Moreso, my parents had this sort of unbalanced relationship towards the end of their marriage and it ended very badly and yea, i just can’t whole heartedly love relationships that in any way resemble this, even if it ends differently. that’s a personal thing tho.

I don’t think Hua Cheng has ANY bad intentions towards Xie Lian or ever will. I don’t think he’s ever manipulated xl or tried to force him to love him. But again, it’s my own personal feelings that makes me feel kinda.. ehh conflicted abt hualian. There was potential but again.. fujoshis ruin everything... smh. Overall i think the way it ended redeemed the issues it had but still there were issues and i really wish xie lian like,, reassured hua cheng about living his life freely at some point but whatever.

IN CONCLUSION

TGCF had the potential to be better than mdzs, it rlly did but it was bogged down by the authors own toxic mentalities abt love, and mlm relationships, and treating women like ppl and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I enjoyed this book, truly i did (otherwise i wouldn’t have stuck through and read 750k words of it) but there are some flaws that cannot be glossed over. I hope that tgcf when it does get adapted, goes through the same miracle that cql did and makes the characters more like ppl and less like tropes but i doubt it. Also i highly doubt that a live action tgcf is feasible given the supernatural aspects of the series but we shall see. I’m excited for the donghua when it eventual comes out but i will continue to be critical of the novel bc..well.. you see why. idk if i’d reccommend this book tbh bc like yes i would, no i would... well.. </3. yea. overall, it sure was something that i enjoyed in spades. especially the last 5 chapters. I generally liked it but had many issues with it at the same time, but honestly, yea thats the standard fair for a mxtx novel.

#text heavy #'like rlly fucking text heavy #tgcf #tgcf lb #and with that... the lb is over #i dont think i'll read the extra but who knows #also i reread this twice looking for missing words and typos so i HOPE its coherant #anyways if u read this.. bless u and feel free to ask me anything abt what i've said #i legit just finished it and i havent thought back on everything so im v willing to hear different standpoints

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fart-gate · 5 years ago

Text

SG1

Season 4 episode 14

"THE SERPENTS VENOM"

Notes by me

- chulak!

- rebel jaffa lets goooo

- VIVA LE REVOLUTION

- tealc is such a multi tasker. Being on sg1 team AND the leader of a rebellion

- a trick!! A ruse!!! Blocked

- every time I see the tokra IDC I get sad bc its not gonna be martouf :(

- the tokra not being able to translate something and coming to DANIEL for help is like. such good development and trust for them but also it shows how smart Daniel is

- Jack on edge in this ep huh

- "of course, colonel Oniell is always fun to have around" ajsnsjdbd

- defiant whumpee !Tealc

- im sorry the light coming out of his mouth is weird

- daniel bringing 8 bags of shit he cant even carry smh

- Jack pushing his glasses up im losing it

- I love this set for the ship!

- nerd!Daniel

- "its all Phoenician to me, sir"

- this kids dad burned his sons Mark off his forehead. Thats just yikes

- maybe tealc can sway him with one of his beautiful speeches

- I DO NOT HEAR MY EARS ARE CLOSED

Pls tell me bratac isnt dead I do not believe it. And he would never say they were gods im calling bullshit

- I know hes being tortured and everything but I'm im just looking. when they rip his shirt. Off

- when Jacob gives the vaguest answers and they look at him like. You're not giving them alot of confidence buddy

- PROBLEMS ARISE

- tealcs back muscles hrrrnngg

- this torturer dude sounds like a catholic pr*ist

- I dont speak Chulak but tealc just said Fuck You

- the bomb moving and Sam crawling with it lol

- "thats it im sure.......WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!!!.......no yeah that's it." Im going to kill him in so many ways

- Jack leaning down oN TOP OF SAM like buddy you couldve leaned down anywhere else

- "I have no idea"

- tealc giving a freedom speech to the kid 😭😭 and his voice got kinda higher??

- Jack pulling Sam out from under the bomb by her legs

- when jacob tells Jack to take control of the ship and he gets SO excited and then immediately almost blows them up

- hes literally flailing his hands trying to move the space mines with??? Telekinesis???? The force???

- tealc being offered up as a gift. I have 6 dollars and an old bubblegum wrapper in my pocket but I am willing to break out the piggy bank

- it needs to be zero bc of a "math thing" ? What math thing im dumb

- theyre all terrible at this

- that shot of tealc hanging by one arm

- pls say Jack is not letting his boy die

- "tealc is expendable" jacob is now canceled

- daniel saying for the 5th time that he might have been wrong and then back tracking

- the kid helps!!!! Tealcs speeches always do the trick

- THEY MISSED??? ALL THAT AND THEY MISSED????

- go back for my boy or there will be consequences

- SPACE BATTLE

- oh thank god my jaffa is alive 💗

- "it is good to hear your voice oniell" BROTP

- *goes to try to start a war between apophis and heru'er to make it easier to defeat them*

*fails and makes everything worse*

Tealc whump: shot by zat, unconscious, kidnapped, arms chained to ceiling, tortured, tased(?) By staff thing, noises!, screaming, face grabbed, sweaty, bloody, manhandled, dragged, thrown by ribbon device, ribbon device to forehead weak, slow speech

🎶listening to Who I Am by The Score🎶 for tealc being a defiant rebel against the false gods and not breaking ✊🏿 🔥

#stargate season 4 #tealc whump season 4

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fiftyshadesgrl · 5 years ago

Text

He saved me/ part 10

Me and dean followed sam downstairs to where bobby was sitting at his table looking over a bunch of files.

"What have you got?" Dean spoke first.

"Well it could be something, then again it could be a whole lot of nothin." Bobby said turning the paper in front of him around to where we could look at it. "I found a list of names of demons that have been in contact with parker. Theres 16 all together. Theyre all spread out over the surrounding towns to where you were found."

With the last sentence bobby looked at me. I nodded, "doesnt surprise me. He had connections everywhere." I scanned the list of names and one stood out to me. "Patrick windsor." I whispered.

"That somebody you knew?" Bobby asked.

"Not really, i mean i met him a couple of times but i never truly knew him. Thats parkers father."

"Do we know where to find him?" Dean spoke this time, seeming anxious.

Bobby shook his head. "Nothing as of yet but im sure sam here can find out." Sam nodded and went to go get his laptop before i stopped him.

"Wait." I pulled out the folder i had been carrying. "I found this in the files upstairs."

Bobby took it from my hands, "ill be damned."

"It just stood out to me and i guess this is why." I said taking a seat across from bobby.

"Do you have files on any of the other people bobby?" Sam asked.

Bobby shrugged, "its possible."

I stood quickly and grabbed the paper with the list of names. "Ill go check."

"Ill come with you." Dean rushed to my side. I just nodded, after our talk i didnt dread deans company like i once had.

"Lets go back to the spare room and look first since thats where i found patricks file." I told dean as we made it to the top of the stairs. He just followed me to the room. I sat on the floor and smiled when dean joined me.

"Okay ive got them in alphabetical order so we should find them fairly easy." I grabbed the first pile.

"Youre amazing." I looked up in surprise when he said that. He was smiling at me with a glint in his eyes.

"What?" I whispered.

"You came here, you cleaned up all these files, put them away in alphabetical order, you also organized the books and placed them by origin and language. You cook for bobby, you take care of him. After everything you went through." Dean said in amazement.

"He took me in, took me under his wing. He is the father i never had. I love him to death." I went back to trying to find the first name in the files.

"Im sorry." I felt deans hand on my ankle.

"For what?" I looked at him puzzled.

"For everything. You were going through all that and i walked out on you. I couldve, no i shouldve explained myself but i was a coward."

"Dean, i have called you many things in my head but a coward is not one of them."

We both laughed at that. I couldnt let dean keep torturing himself. It wasnt all him. "Look it took me forever to come to terms with this but i was the coward dean. I ran away, i thought i wasnt good enough for you. That you had went out to find what you wanted and that just wasnt me. Parker always told me no man will ever want me that i would disgust any man out there but him. So when you walked out that night i knew it was true. But now i know better. I understand what youre trying to say and how you feel. Theres nothing to forgive dean, i mean it."

"Then why do i feel like shit?" He said scooting closer to me.

"Because you havent forgave yourself."

He sighed and just shook his head. "I dont think that will ever happen."

I nudged his shoulder, "come on, suck it up buttercup we gotta find these files before sam finds them on his internet first."

He chuckled, "youre competeing with sam?"

"Hell yeah, the internet cant beat my methods here." I grabbed another stack of files and handed them to dean. "So get to work winchester."

"Yes ma'am."

Two hours later we had found all the names but one. "Well," dean said standing and stretching "is there anywhere else the file could be?"

I nodded, "yeah in my room. Ive done got all those in the file cabinets so itll be easier to look through."

He followed me down the hall to my room but didnt walk in. "You can come in ya know."

He just looked at his feet, "are you sure? I mean this is your bedroom and..."

"Dean. Im not going to molest you. Get in here and help me look for this last file." I said pulling him by the shirt into the room. Instead of turning like i probably should have i stood facing him. His hands went to my hips as mine fisted in his shirt.

I inhaled his scent and that feeling of comfort and security enveloped me like it did before. I leaned into his chest, resting my cheek against right over where his heart was. It was beating so fast about as fast as mine. His arms wrapped around me and i felt his lips and nose bury in my hair next to my neck.

I tried to get closer to him but i was as close as i could get. I wanted to climb inside his chest and stay there forever. It was like a dam inside me burst, the tears fell freely and a choked sob escaped my lips.

"Dont cry sweetheart." Dean whispered against my neck.

I fisted his shirt more and sobbed. "I cant help it. God ive missed you." My hands roamed over his chest then wrapped around his neck. He held me until the tears had stopped.

"Ive missed you so much. You have no idea." Dean said rubbing my back. He started kissing my neck and jawline. I kissed his shoulder and collarbone through his shirt.

I pulled back away from him, both of us panting as he brushed his lips up against mine. The tears started flowing again as our lips crushed together. His hand tangled in my hair and pulled me closer to deepen the kiss.

I could feel how hard he was through his jeans. I needed him, forget everything that happened and just have him. Have my security again. My safe zone, but i realized where we were. I pushed against his chest, "dean, stop. We cant do this here."

He kept placing small kisses on my lips. "Why not?"

I pulled back, "bobby is like a father to me and to you. We cant do this in his house."

He grunted something under his breath. Then with that lustful look i love so much he looked up at me. "Okay, lets go for a drive somewhere. I dont care where, i just gotta have you."

"Dont you think theyll be suspicious?"

"I dont care." He growled.

I smiled at him and nodded. "Okay but let me get these files to bobby. Sam can find the last name im sure."

He smiled that panty dropping smile that made me weak in the knees. "Ill be waiting in the car." He gave me a quick heated kiss and with that he walked out the door and down the stairs. I glanced at the last name on the list and figured id make dean wait for a minute. I dug through the files in the one cabinet and just like i said, easy to find.

I changed out of my night shirt into some shorts and a tank top, then grabbed the files and made my way down stairs.

"Here ya go bobby." I huffed, dropping the files on the table in front of him. "You had files on every one of them."

He smiled and grabbed the first one, "what would i do without you kiddo?"

I walked around and kissed his cheek. "Probably fill up on tv dinners and drink way to much." I smiled down at him, "me and dean are going out for food. Anybody want anything?"

"Usual for me." Sam said from his chair in the corner.

I nodded and bobby waved me off, "is that what theyre calling it these days?" He said looking up at me.

I furrowed my brows, "what are you talking about?"

He glared at me, "i may be old but im not stupid. Just be careful, alright."

I nodded with a slight blush on my cheeks and headed for the door. Dean was sitting in the drivers seat tapping his thumb on the steering wheel. I opened the door and climbed in, i scooted all the way over to him. He smiled at me as he started the car and peeled out of the driveway.

@an-unhealthy-obsession

#dean winchester #dean x reader #deanwinchester #supernatural #deanwinchestersmut #dean x you #deanwinchtser

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sainadazai · 3 years ago

Text

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.5

"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"

3rd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.

So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.

"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.

Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.

For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿

She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.

She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.

In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.

The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.

He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.

Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.

However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.

"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"

"N-n-"

"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.

With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.

Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.

Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.

While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.

Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.

"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"

"Your wrong."

"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"

"L/n you are wrong."

"Dude im trying to-"

"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.

"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."

"Your skin....dirty?"

"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"

"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."

His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.

Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.

I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.

I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.

"So what really is your quirk?"

I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.

"How much did Aizawa tell you?"

"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.

I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.

"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.

"So, what does it mean?"

"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"

"Um yes kid, why?"

Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.

I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.

"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."

Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.

"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.

"So, im guessing you've got ...."

"Total control, yup" I confirmed.

"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"

I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.

"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.

He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.

Until we heard some crying in the distance.

The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-

"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"

"Wha-"

"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"

his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.

They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.

"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.

"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"

I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.

"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"

Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.

"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."

I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.

Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.

Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.

Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.

"Hey bakugou~"

"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"

"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged

I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.

I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.

"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"

"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"

"Fires scary."

I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.

"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"

The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.

I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.

My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.

I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.

I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.

The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.

He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.

I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?

"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."

"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakusquad #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha deku #mha fanfiction #mha todoroki #mha fluff

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