#he cheats he's insane online i hope he dies

[longeyelashedtragedy]

How would you describe Frank's relationships at home with his family even though he seems to be so messed up and lost in his mind. Do you think his kids probably notice it(a factor could be that his older kids (taking account that their mum is his ex) don't spend as much time with him anymore looking at social media.

Another question is where do you think it went wrong for Frank with his relationship between him and his ex?

Sorry for the specific questions but I just wanted to hear a different point of view as I'm doing research for a fic 😅

Thank you and I love your writing btw!!!!

great question!

i have to say, i hope this part isn't projection because i am so weak for a footballer being a Good Dad, but from what i've seen (and i might have read him saying something to this effect, though not in these therapy language words) he made a conscious effort to Break the Cycle with his daughters and not be a complete controlling dick like his dad. i don't think we know anything at all about him + his younger kids (except for, where the fuck did they get curly hair from lol) so i'm talking about the older girls.

it's interesting, because my dad had an actual abusive and cheating father, and before my dad had kids he said he hoped he only had girls because he would have no clue how to teach a boy to be a Man and would probably fuck it up. luckily, he has two "daughters" so that worked out for him, and he's an amazing dad. i wonder if frank was the same, it could be?

as for the girls i don't know if they just are older with their own lives and don't want to be pictured online anymore, and he respects their privacy, or what. he does reference them in the diary of a ceo interview if you have watched it (if you haven't, and you're writing a fic, i totally recommend it--the two hours fly by i swear)--that now they're at high school graduation age and he's been giving them advice about the future and sometimes they have Disagreements where he agrees to disagree (i bet they're about politics lmao). it also could be that he's sort of depressing to be around right now? like, on instagram JT and Jody Morris and that crowd are always hanging out and playing golf and going to chelsea games and shit and frank is never there which makes me feel he's sitting around in a depression cave lmao.

as for the home life in general it's hard to know but the shit he and christine used to say about each other was cringeeeee. these days they just seem like they're kind of quiet and mind their own business and other than all their money they seem kind of normal? like "dad complaining about women Shopping all the time and facebook wine mom" vibes instead of nouveau rich celebs vibes.

elen! that's an interesting one. i'm not a fan of their relationship. like i feel like he and christine make sense as a couple/(marriage of convenience)in a sense but he and elen didn't make sense to me as a couple. if you read the parts about her in his book idk they're just...weird feeling? it had a very Wow a Hot Spanish Model is Interested in Me??!?!?!?!?! vibe to it and it was sweet i guess but weird. i can't see this dude being married to elen at all really. i think, and i actually think he says this in diary of a ceo as well, it really went wrong when his mom died :( as he said he spent the next year in a complete numb freeze state, was full of random anger, trying to repress his emotions etc, and many things suffered from that including his relationship. i think that could break a relationship up easily, especially if maybe it wasn't that solid to begin with?

(**it's VERY interesting that with both of the Ladies frank had insanely long periods of being...together but Not Married...HMMMM)

these are just my thoughts--let me know if you have any other Discussion Topics, omg. and i'm very curious about this fic 👀

[antonballdeluxe]

white women will go "ohh my blorbo! the skrunkly! cuteness aggression!" and then they show you a photo of Clayton Ray Huff from 2710 English Invy Ct. Longwood, Florida 32779 on their cracked iphone 7

[petalsmooth]

 “I know the fans are always, at least from what I hear, are always searching for tiny little crumbs to get whatever they can for how the characters interact,” Cole Sprouse told Decider. “So it’s nice to actually give them a tasty grilled chicken dinner every once in a while.”

Translation: No season long arc to reunite Bughead and wildly misread the minimal interaction had previously because otherwise wouldn’t note this as a standalone treat.

“I also think from a panned out perspective, Rivervale’s narrator was a really fun, tongue in cheek way for the writers to connect directly to the audience. Tonally, our show has shifted quite a bit throughout the seasons, but it’s always kept and maintained a semblance of its own insanity, and campiness, and soapy quality, and it was fun to play a character that acknowledged that in any great or small way. So yeah, I hope so. I like the talking directly to camera. I like the poking fun. I liked how tongue in cheek it was. It was just an enjoyable experience.

I wish they would keep it. RD is better in this vein where sort of mocks itself and Cole is great in this role.

“Oh my God, Erinn is such a pro. She’s so awesome to work with. We’ve had such a great time. She’s so professional, so nice to everyone on set.”

Notices he says on set. Meaning not just the higher profiled actors or producer or director but implying everyone.

“When she and I work together in our scenes, the days just flies. It’s incredible, especially when you’ve been doing it for six years now, it’s also just refreshing to be acting with someone who came in on season five and is learning about the world at the same time, the world of Riverdale that is.”

Basically story was stagnant...routine...Erinn comes in without cynicism and routine of 4 years and attitude is far more positive and energetic imo. Also, just generally adores her.

“Jughead and Tabitha’s relationship is really beautiful. As opposed to Betty and Jughead’s relationship, which was this really passionate and hot and cold and up and down throughout the seasons, Jughead and Tabitha are this really beautiful, tempered domesticity that you end up seeing from super healthy relationships as you age.”

Volatile. Juvenile. Teenage angst, us against the world...would die if you die...except not really because she cheated on him after he died but hey...vs Cole flat out saying his relationship with Tabitha is non toxic, healthy, adult and...beautiful.

Note he provides contrast between the two relationships and while he does use passionate for Jughead and Tabi by saying repeatedly how deeply and well they care for each other’s well being...how healthy they are...he only uses beautiful for Jug and Tabi. Bughead basically are chalked up to teenage angst and lust.

“ I know that that Erinn and I wanted to portray that. Someone like Tabitha who just really, really cares for Jughead in a tempered way and is passionate about making sure he’s okay, and Jughead, who is passionate about making sure Tabitha’s okay, and vice versa. So it’s really nice. It’s beautiful and real, and the way that we’ve been playing it has been really enjoyable, and working with Erinn is always my favorite day of the week. “

Their passion is directed to making sure the other is safe, and happy and ok through tempered or real reaction like pulling a blanket over the other or cooking a meal vs highly theatrical displays that ultimately meant nothing because obviously...Betty just wanted to jump Archie no matter how many windows he climbed for her, how many times how died, how many beanies he shared with her.

He’s also implying a character like this who truly cares that he is OK has been absent on canvas and a new element that has entered his life since she arrived.

“ I don’t track too much about the show generally online, but I hope that people are seeing that in the caring for each other, in a less wild way that perhaps the previous seasons did for Jughead. I love the supernatural quality to moving in together, too. That’s so Riverdale. I just think it’s so much fun. “

Betty giving a speech about Jughead being heart and soul of Riverdale is all well and good but it was coupled with her keeping her options for another man child and ultimately what Jughead needs isn’t someone who pouts over him getting accepted to Yale and trashes her dad’s grave because she doesn’t or ditches him when struggling with alcoholism but someone who is supportive and doesn’t think less of him if he stumbles and helps recover just because she believes in him and he knows she isn’t going to turn a wayward eye or abandon him at first sign of struggle or weakness

“ Episode 100 is really a love letter to the audience who have stuck with us throughout the years, and a love letter [to] where we came from “

I.E standalone event and throwing a bone.

[thevindicativevordan]

On Supergirl

Figured I should put up my thoughts about Kara in the wake of her first film appearance being announced, and the final season of her TV show fast approaching. Short version is: Kara is very cool and DC needs to stop messing with her. 

My Introduction to Kara

I was introduced to Kara the way most millennials/Gen Zers were I imagine, via the Loeb Superman/Batman arc which brought the traditional Kara Zor-El Supergirl take into Post-Crisis continuity, after years of DC attempting to have a “Supergirl” without violating the editorial mandate that Kal needed to be the literal “Last Son of Krypton” (an example of one of the dumb ways DC fucked Kara over). Story goes that one day Dan Didio was in line at the Superman ride at Six Flags (I love that ride even though it’s stolen my glasses every time I’ve ridden it, even when I left them in a locker!). The ride had signs that talked about various Superman characters. Didio was reading the entry for Supergirl where it talked about her not being Clark’s cousin but instead some weird merge of alien shapeshifter, angel, and human girl, and he realized how fucking stupid that was, and he went back to the office and told Loeb to bring Kara back. 

Years later I would also be standing in line at the Six Flags Superman ride (probably at a different park location but who knows?) as a youngster and would read the new Supergirl sign that trumpeted that Superman had a cousin who shared all his powers, an update reflecting the new Loeb origin. I thought she sounded pretty cool, made a note to see if my library had any Supergirl stories next time I visited, then got on the Superman ride and promptly lost my glasses like an idiot because I wanted to take them off while I was riding and pretend I was changing from my “disguise” into Superman mid flight. My dad grounded me for this afterwards, but it gave me a funny story to tell at family get togethers and isn’t that what Six Flags is all about?

A month later (and with spiffy new glasses), my mom dropped me off at a new library next to where she worked, and they had one of the best Superman collections I’ve ever seen to this day. I was in heaven and while reading every Superman book I could find (I couldn’t check them out because I didn’t have a card, my mom’s card didn’t cover the area the library was in, and my mom wouldn’t have checked them out anyway since comics were “too violent”), I found the trade collecting Kara’s new origin. I read it and I thought both she and Superman were really cool, and Batman was a  punk who had to beat Darkseid by cheating, the loser. Turner’s art to my young eyes was the best I had ever seen, and the panels got engraved into my brain. 

I still get downright nostalgic whenever I see Turner Superman or Supergirl stuff. I also got my parents to rent the animated movie adaption of the Superman/Batman arc from Blockbuster (remember those?), and that sealed the deal. Seeing Kara hold her own against Darkseid convinced me she was as cool as her cousin. Next time my mom dropped me off at the library next to her workplace, I went looking for Supergirl stuff to read. I found the first volume of her new volume by Joe Kelly taking place after the Loeb arc and dove in.

It was... weird. 5 years later I might have enjoyed it but at the time I was majorly put off. Kara took a secret identity for a day and then ditched it because it was “stupid” and the kids bullied her. She was always getting into fights with Kal, and there was this weird plot that I couldn’t follow about how her dad had sent her to kill Kal, maybe or maybe not? Also she could grow crystals which I thought was dumb, and said she was stronger than her cousin which I couldn’t buy for a second given he looked like he was carved out of marble, and she looked like she relied on sunlight instead of food. I put the volume back on the shelf and kinda gave up on reading the character after that for a while. 

I followed her via the DC wiki updates just like I did Superman, and everything I read seemed dumb and convoluted. She was split in two, moped around a lot, made out with an alternate version of her cousin, and basically just flopped about the same way the rest of the Superfamily did during the 00s. Nothing made me think I had made a mistake dropping Kara until I read the latest update to her wiki page.

I was super into what I was reading about the Busiek/Johns era of Superman online. Lex was back and making a big revenge scheme that involved all the other Rogues! Old Superman Rogues were getting revamped and made cool again! Johns reintroduced Brainiac and made him a big threat, with Kal and Kara teaming up to fight him! Busiek was revamping Prankster and telling big ambitious Superman stories! For the first time in a long while, the consensus on the Internet was that Superman was good again. My “home” library had zero Marvel books and no Superman or Batman books, all their DC stuff was Flash or Green Lantern, mainly written by Johns. Insane to think back on now. My hopes that because Johns was involved with Superman, Superman books would show up at my library were fulfilled. They started bringing in Busiek and Johns collections, and someone there also ordered Sterling Gates’ first volume of Supergirl, and I checked everything out since I was old enough to have my own library card, and my parents were worried more about the violent video games I was playing rather than comics.

I read everything and loved it. I also really liked Gates’ take on Kara. She was still an imperfect teenager but she wasn’t insufferably angsty or constantly fighting with Kal. She was going to give the secret identity another try and Lana had “adopted” her. It’s funny remembering how I enjoyed all that given my current thoughts on how Kara should work, but it was great at the time. I liked Gates introducing new foes for Kara, some classic Superman Rogues adapted for her like Bizzarogirl, others crafted specifically for her like Reactron. Gates’ basically rekindled my enjoyment of Kara the same way Busiek & Johns rekindled my enjoyment of Superman.

Of course it ended terribly like everything Superman-related seems to.

I’ve got a whole post I want to do about New Krypton and what came after. In short that is the most blatant example of “hitting the reset button” that I’ve ever seen. All the potential got wasted, and afterwards everything except Lex’s Action Comics stuff just didn’t appeal to me. Gates got booted off Kara for Nick Spencer who ended up leaving himself later, a promising Teen Titans line-up with Kara on it didn’t happen, and the last proper Pre-Flashpoint Superfamily story was a crappy team-up with Doomsday against Bigger Doomsday (thank God for Cornell’s final Luthor/Superman confrontation at least). When news of the reboot arrived, I was honestly happy. The Superline needed an enema.

Controversial opinion time: I liked New 52 Supergirl. It’s weird because a lot of the stuff I hated about Kelly’s run was here, and a lot of the stuff I loved about the Gates’ run was not. This was angry, moody, emotional Kara again, fighting with Kal and not fond of Earth. But I was in my teens at this point, and I didn’t want happy go-lucky Superman or Supergirl. I wanted my heroes angry, scared of the future, ready to go out there and smash some cars. Morrison’s Action Comics was 100% my jam (still is once I really understood the deeper meaning beneath the work) and this Kara felt like a natural fit for this universe. Plus we got Asrar on art and that guy made it damn pretty to look at, lots of cool science fiction stuff going on, even with the dumb H’el storyline.

I loved all the new Rogues Kara got. I loved her new Fortress under the ocean. I loved how traumatized she was by the loss of Krypton, that she wanted more than anything to go home, that her cousin was like a stranger to her since they had been apart for so long. I found all of that incredibly relatable. A lot of the New 52 Supergirl stories might have been schlock but it was my type of schlock damnit, and I enjoyed it!

I kept with her New 52 series all the way through the Red Daughter Saga (which I loved). As someone who grew up on Johns GL (since that was the only comics my home library had), seeing a Supercharacter join a Lantern Corp was the hypest thing ever. I loved the finale about Kara finally letting go of her anger and losing the ring while smashing her foe into the sun, it was incredibly cathartic for me as an angry teen myself. I finally stopped following her series sometime after since I was no longer enjoying the Superline or really DC as a whole. It wasn’t until I heard that New 52 Superman died and the “old” Superman was back, that I checked back into DC.

DC Rebirth & How I Think Kara Should Work

I did not enjoy Supergirl Rebirth, and I think I’ll talk about my problems with it alongside how I think Kara as a character should work since the two are related. A pet peeve of mine that has formed over the years is this: I don’t like it when Superfamily members get turned into Clark clones. Kon wearing glasses and going to Smallville High. Kara going to high school and being involved in journalism. Jon more or less being written as a copy of his dad personality-wise. I hate that kind of stuff because it’s boring. What’s the point of a Superfamily if everyone is just copying Clark? It also doesn’t fit the characters especially in Kara’s case. Why the hell does she want to be a journalist? Were there journalists on Krypton? I don’t remember ever seeing one! Shouldn’t she want to be, I dunno, a scientist? That seems to have been the El family tradition, wouldn’t she have been groomed for that?

This one-off by Shea is honestly the only acceptable outcome for Kara going into journalism for me. She realizes she’s just copying her cousin and switches to something she wants to do. So Orlando copying the show, which already basically turned Kara into an expy of her cousin, just did not appeal to me at all. What had worked for me under Gates way back when was not clicking for me this time. I wanted to see Kara embody the principles of the S-shield in a different way than her cousin did. So I really enjoyed when Rebirth ended and we moved into the Bendis era with Andrekyo relaunching the title as Kara in space.

Kara in space has always felt like a good fit for me. Unlike Kal I’ve come to believe that Kara really shouldn’t be all that fond of Earth. For him it’s home, but for her it’s just where she ended up after her real home got destroyed. I think Kara works well as a sort of nomad, occasionally making stops back home to Earth to check on her cousin, but otherwise? She’s more comfortable out in space than she could ever be on Earth. Out in space she can be Kryptonian (which is what she should think of herself as in contrast to Clark being torn between his Kryptonian biology and human upbringing, and Jon/Kon identifying as human), be her true self, not have to pretend to be human to fit in. Kara founding a moon refuge was one of the best ideas for her that I’ve seen, I would love if DC made her Future State refugee center on the moon canon. I’m excited for more Kara adventures in space with the upcoming Tom King story.

Also love that her and Krypto are getting tied together, if they don’t want to use Krypto in Superman’s stuff, let her have him! Bring on cosmic adventurer Supergirl!

Personality & Other Traits

Kara to me should be more hot-tempered than her cousin. All the Superfamily members should have a temper in my opinion, I see that as the “Deadly Sin” of Superman and his family. But while Kal is like a simmering pot that will explode if it’s left cooking for too long, Kara is like dynamite. Light her fuse at your own peril because she will go off on you.

I also like the idea of Kara being rash. Kal’s got a maturity that came from over a decade of having to live with Lex Luthor constantly getting away with all his evil schemes. He’s patient because he’s been forced to be. Kara? If you ask for her help she’ll give it, but beware because she doesn’t really care about the long term impacts of her decisions. She’s an invulnerable teenager after all.

Really liked that Venditti Annual where Kara got tutored in history by a reincarnation of Hawkman. Kara having a passion for history is a neat trait, would be nice to see her teach Kal or Jon some Kryptonian lore, or have her lead a Kryptonian holiday celebration for the Superfamily because she’s the only one who remembers how to do it. 

Sexuality wise I know a lot of people ship Kara and Lena on account of the chemistry between the two in the show. I haven’t watched the show myself but I’m fine with making Kara bisexual, the Superfamily could use some LGBT+ rep, and Lena hasn’t done anything of worth as a villain, so undo that and throw the two together. If we’re letting Harley and Ivy get away with murder I think we can let Lena off the hook too, undo the Ultrawoman weirdness and put the two together. Could be fun seeing the two building that moon refuge together.

All in all I think Kara is a great character who is a stronger embodiment of the immigrant experience than even her cousin in some ways. I hope King does a good job with her, she’s treated better than her cousin on the film side, and that overall the 20s are a better decade for Supergirl than the 10s were.

[lanamemories]

hLO itsa me nai-io!!!!! (read shrieked in a high voice like mario if he buckled his dungarees too tight around the crotch)...... im sad i missed opening bt i had a pretty busy past 2 days so i didn’t hav any chance at all to b online bc i ws staying at a friends bt. anyway. excited to b here nw regardless of my Fashionably Late entrance. i’m 22 n live in manchester (the u freakin k Bay Bee) n cackle a little too mch like a witch fr supernatural suspicions nt to arise. thts all u rly need to kno. like this or hmu fr plots!! 

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

「 bridget satterlee. cis-female. 」have you seen lana jameson around yet? i hear SHE decided to be in ALPHA NU for their JUNIOR year as a DANCE major. the 21 year old SHEEP is known to be vivacious, alluring, childish and impulsive. ➨ the muse is written by nai. she is 22, in the gmt.

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror, seventies platforms covered in bowie inspired lightening stripes, fanning the flush in your cheeks with a bright red flamenco fan in the back of a crowded lecture hall, michelangelo reminiscent statures clasping at their stone in suggestive places, bopping stranger’s on the forehead with heart shaped lollipops, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, lighting a paper lantern and saying “aw, how pretty,” only for the whole party to shriek as it crashes into a children’s tent in the next garden over, a ball point pen that turns a woman naked when you click up the nib, cackling so ferociously that you almost throw up and your ribs ache.

ok im a Lay Zee gorl n dnt wna waste any mre time redoin lana’s intro so im pastin in her old one so i cn hop right to interactions. the only thing i can think tht needs to b added is the stuff abt danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine bc im a sadist) who recently beat up zeke van doren (full name this is Official feel like im writin a journalist article) bc he found out him n lana slept tgether n her n danny were kind of dating if....u can call his idea of romance tht. danny is in custody nw bt its a whole Thing like.... is prob... known around lockwood bc it ws a pretty intense..... thing tht happened n danny ws quite a popular senior

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him after initially bein mad tht he ws leavin her all alone. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of.... is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days

[mentalcurls]

1. Sembri una pu***na

So I started the all-Skam Italia rewatch last Sunday and it turns out I have a lot to say about it. Like, four pages on Word of stuff to say. It took me three days to get evrything out and make it readable. So here, for you reading pleasure, my thoughts on ep.1 season 1 “Sembri una pu***ana”. There’s some kind of heavy stuff and I draw some parallels to my personal experience, since I was, unce upon a time, a teenager and a student at the same school all the highschoolers in SkamIT attend, and I’m also beginning to do the Bechdel test on the episodes!

The montage at the beginning is really powerful when you link the images from Giovanni and Eva’s class’s time at the Succursale to Gio’s essay, that Eva’s reading in the background, in particular the first part: LudoBesse is basically telling us how much of a waste Eva thinks her and Laura’s friendship is to Laura now

Something else about Gio’s essay (as someone who attended classico): it’s a YES from me because criticizing liceo classico is peak classico culture, it’s a HELL NO because classico is actually the best school in the world and I sincerely hope that if anyone else but himself said/wrote that kind of stuff about his school Gio would be at their throats

Eva has that “seeing someone outside the school gates and static fills your ears” moment just like Marti when he sees Niccolò for the first time! Hers is of course with Laura and Sara, who are with... Silvia and Fede! I like that they showed us a bit of this friendship that we didn’t really get to see in the og.

Martino and that iconic first “A zozzoni!” ❤️

Marti and Gio are competing for who got the best grades in the History test and I have a lot to say about this: we know Gio has really high grades (we are told he has an average of 9/10 in Latin and he got 8,5 in History) and that thing he does, bragging about it with his friend, the friendly competition between them, the actual talking about his grades without worrying who’s listening to him? That shit wouldn’t have flied for me, a once-upon-a-time student of liceo classico with an average of 8/10 in Latin, 8/10 in Ancient Greek and 9/10 in History and in part it was because I didn’t have the best classmates, but for the most part I couldn’t have done that because I am a girl (and my friends and classmates were 98% female)

girls are socialized to be humble about accomplishments, first and foremost, to avoid bragging AND humblebragging as well, and to always care about other people and their feelings; basically, whenever the topic of marks and grades came up while I was in high school, I had to try my best to avoid disclosing my own; if they were brought up directly, say them as dispassionately as possible and then try to change topic; I had be conscious of the fact I was talking someone who had much worse grades than me most of the time, so I had to keep into mind their experience of finding things I found doable (like translating from Latin) extremely hard, of disliking subjects I enjoyed (and most of the time the professor who taught them too, especially when they’d recently gotten a bad mark) and of being frustrated by their grades. I could never have competed with any of my friends about who got the highest marks (most of the time there was actually a sort of “gallows humor” competition over who got the lowest). I couldn’t show I was happy about my good grades, because I’d get negative comments from my friends (yes, even close friends, people I get on with and love to this day) who would dismiss my accomplishment as obvious, something that came easily to me because I was a nerd (the translation in Italian is “secchiona” and it doesn’t have any of the “cute” connotations pop culture gave its English counterpart) and something I shouldn’t “show off”. On top of that, if something was hard for me, it was whatever and what right did I have to complain when I had such high grades anyways, it wouldn’t be a problem in the long run.

So yeah, Martino and Giovanni, right now I kind of hate you for not having to take on any emotional labour in these kind of situations and society for socializing males and females in different ways when it comes to accomplishments and for accepting different behaviours from boys and girls.

QED Gio and Marti turn to Eva and ask her about her mark, she’s reticent but they get an answer out of her (that is not even the truth) and they mock her for it. Yes it’s all fun and games but Eva’s mark is really bad compared to Giovanni’s and Martino’s (especially her real mark) and grades are important for teens, no matter how much they deny it, if nothing else then because they influence their relationship with their parents

you can see Eva is hurt by their careless mocking, by Gio’s fake attempt at placating with “stuff she’s good at” (among which is re-heating pre-cooked food which is at the same time a way to have her “stay in the kitchen” and not even be able to properly cook) and by the way he and Marti underestimate her and laugh at her in the following exchange, when Marti shushes her and she calls him “asshole” with that annoyed face. It’s silly, “loving” mockery but it affects people anyways and it shows a lack of empathy only guys are allowed. She’s expected to take it with good grace (and this takes additional emotional labour) because it’s just for fun and they’re friends and they don’t mean it, but it’s not fair

“There are no secrets in a couple, but there aren’t between friends either.” THE WAY MARTINO PUTS HIMSELF ON THE SAME LEVEL AS EVA in Giovanni’s life, straight away! This boy. And Gio agrees! That shit must’ve been so frustrating, poor Eva.

This conversation  between Gio, Eva and Marti: G: Today we’re going to Elia’s place to study. E: Oh, so that’s what you’re calling it now, studying. M: Oh c’mon, 6 minus, shhh. is the beginning of the reoccurring dynamic between them in the season that will make Eva paranoid and will bring her to confronting Laura and to cheating aka Giovanni keeping a secret, lying to Eva about where he goes and what he does, Martino enabling him by misdirecting or distracting her or Gio doing it himself, then either or both the guys calling her crazy or paranoid for doubting their words. You know what’s that? It’s called gaslighting.

[Gaslighting means manipulating a person by psychological means into questioning his or her own sanity. It’s the same technique that, according to some of his critics, Donald Trump used to get gain traction with voters (see Trump giving “alternative facts” and dubbing the media that fact checked and corrected him “fake news”).]

[I’M NOT SAYING THAT GIOVANNI IS THE SAME AS TRUMP, I DON’T THINK THEY’RE THE SAME, I only want to present an example of how this form of psychological manipulation is an actual thing in the real word and is really effective and dangerous.]

I am aware that Giovanni is just a dumb teenager trying to hide his weed habit from his girlfriend, that Martino is just being a good bro and covering for his best friend, that they’re doing this without any malicious intent towards Eva and that she’s insecure all by herself. Still, gaslighting is not a behaviour our societies should excuse, especially because it’s usually practiced by the usual suspects over women and minorities. I’d never seen it pointed out in the context of Skam Italia so I thought I’d bring it up, especially in light of S2 and of the “unproblematic” label Gio’s been given. He’s not perfect, he does shitty stuff too, then afterwards he simply grows up and becomes better. Let’s not forget about it and celebrate the person he’s become.

Case in point is the whole 1.2 Online clip. This is conversation between Eva and Gio: G: My battery died. E: But you were on-line. G: No, I wasn’t, my phone died a couple of hours ago. E: But I saw you. G: Eva, I don’t know how it happened. There must be something wrong with my phone, I don’t know. Sometimes I see you online and you’re not, too. I mean, everyone knows it happens. We can Google it if you want. E: No, it’s okay. And where were you? G: At Elia’s. E: Till now? G: Yeah. E: That’s weird. I talked to Martino earlier and he said you guys left a while ago. G: Eva, what’s wrong? Martino left earlier and I stayed till now. What, you don’t believe? Don’t you trust me? Are you insane, uh? [G kisses E] Everything’s alright. Little koala? Little koala always works. [G carries E to her room, then they have sex.] Giovanni lies about his phone being dead, then tells Eva that her seeing him online is impossible or a fluke, that everyone knows those kind of flukes happen, then lies again about being at Elia, when she tries to expose him he adjusts and starts questioning why she doesn’t believe him, finally calling her crazy and distracting her with kisses and sex. This is gaslighting.

(I had actual chills as I watched the scene again and typed this.)

Those theatre kids are so awkward, but quoting weird passages from greek/latin/italian poetry by heart is peak liceo classico culture

unsupportive boyfriend Gio shows up again when Eva suggest they go to the Easter party: his first reaction is “What? Why? You don’t even like that”, so savage, but fair Eva reminds him he’s actually a loser who, at 16, plays card to have fun with his friends like a 60 year old

Gio is being an asshole, he only considers going with Eva’s suggestion in exchange for something, then guilts her into accepting his “deal” bringing up Marti’s difficult family situation and her grades, implicitly, by promising to volunteer for the philosophy oral test, plus he’s rude and insensitive af because he brings up her inviting a friends when he knows fully well that when they cheated on Laura she got completely cut off

this will show up again, but let me just start to say it in the first episode: how unfair is it for Eva to be suffering most of the consequences in her life for getting together with her best friend’s boyfriend, when Giovanni faces no consequences that we know of for cheating on his girlfrien? And how unfair it must feel, deep deep down, to Eva

then, when she agrees, he takes back his side of the deal and Eva has to say it’s fine, it’s nothing because he says sorry and that’s socialization kicking in, telling her not to be difficult, not to be needy and not to complain cause that’s annoying and girls guys want to date are not any of those things; honestly, the emotional labour Eva has to go through

that getting ready montage, Eva really goes full on revenge mode like Lady D and she’s fully feeling her oats

the first dress Eva tries on is the same we saw Laura wearing at the party, but Eva’s red while Laura’s blue: I put all my money o it being a dress they bought together and on it being kind of their go-to dress, Eva thought about wearing it to remind Laura of their friendship but in the end decided it would only make things harder

oh, the conversation with Laura at the bar. God, if the situation is this tense can you imagine being in the same class as her and as Gio six hours a day everyday? We’ve talked about how shit it must have felt for Niccolò to be in the same class as Marco Covitti in S2, but Eva’s situation is awful too. I wonder how much of that factors in her bad grades and troubles with school

how more people don’t ship Italian Evanora is beyond me, have you seen this interaction?

on the other hand, I wonder how much Eleonora thought about it later, about how she must have come on too strong, about how maybe Eva thought she was weird or hitting on her and how much that weighed on Eleonora not reaching out first again, cause she makes a face like she regrets her life the minute Eva walks away

it breaks my heart, honestly: Eva has just been told she’s a whore by someone she once considered a friend, but when she finds this person’s new friend, who she doesn’t know, crying in the bathroom she doesn’t bat an eyelash, reassures her and tries her best to help her (so much emotional labour that women “naturally” take on themselves because we’re taught to be empathetic and caretakers even when we’re ourselves in distress)

one question: if Federico Canegallo is as popular as the Villa crew seems to be, how the hell does nobody know him when Eva is looking for “Fede”? Besides, Silvia doesn’t even react to the fact that he’s a friend of Edoardo’s when she sees him in the bathroom!

the interaction between the two Fedes kills me in every version

ok fuck you Silvia for not even saying thanks for trying and looking at Eva like she’s a decerebrate

Bechdel test: the episodes passes the test because of the conversations between Eva and Laura (nice 😑), Eva and Eleonora (though they’re mostly talking shit about other girls, so still not very good) and Eva and Silvia (though we actually don’t know her name yet at this point, we can only guess it from context, so it’s borderline). So this is cute.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[alongwalktoforever]

I just want to talk about my long long relationship with Grey’s Anatomy. 

I remember watching the pilot with my family on March 27, 2005. I was 12 and scandalized by the first scene with naked Derek, but we all loved it anyway. 

The second season was THE SHIT! I think it was the one of the first shows that I HAD to watch week to week. The bomb episode! Denny! Meredith and Derek! I remember feeling full on conflicted because I really really liked Finn and Addison. 

Then the third season happened, I waited and waited for it to come back on the air and feel like it did before, but it was just baaaad. I remember watching the ferry episode being like what the fuckkkk are they doing. 

Then George and Izzie happened. And I straight up wrote a LETTER to Shonda Rhimes. There was no social media or anything to get out your grievances. I said something like, ‘they are best friends, they aren’t supposed to have feelings with each other. it just isn’t how they are with each other. also do more patient stories not just drama’ 

The fourth season also sucked. Every character was just super unlikeable, so I didn’t watch live religiously like I had before. (I downloaded episodes on iTunes onto my iPod and watched it through that little screen! what a time). But they pulled it together in the finale and Meredith made a candle house and Lexie and George were cute and I had hope again. 

But then 5th season happened and Denny!Ghost came back and I quit. I mean i looooved Denny when he was first on, but come on.I left that shit and did not turn back. I remember someone at school telling me Izzie and Karev got married and I didn’t care at all. 

But then I randomly caught a rerun with the “teach me” Sloan and Lexie scene and I was like ‘oh shit.’ So that summer, I bought all five seasons on DVD (which I still have) and rewatched all five seasons. Sloan x Lexie were my new obsession. Everyone else was ‘mehhh’

So I watched season 6 every Thursday and enjoyed it. I remember watching 6x14 Invest in Love and that made me love Calzona as a couple. Izzie left and I was sad and Invasion happened and Mercy West peeps came and I was like who are these mo’fos. I kinda hated how were were supposed to hate them right off the bat. I thought it was lazy writing. Charles was charming until he fucked over Izzie. The rest were whatever, except Reed she fucking suckedddd. 

Then Sloan and Lexie broke up in a stupid way and they both acted stupid the rest of the season. And I was upset and disappointed with all the episodes. Then the shooter. People love this episode but I hated it. 

I just thought like “this ONE OLD GUY is taking down an entire hospital. And like shooting randomly but not consistently. Like he didn’t shoot Bailey but he shot that nurse?” Also those SWAT guys were like the worst ever. They took soooooo long. But it was intense and it made for a great next season. 

The beginning of season 7 is one of my favorite few episodes. It was about rebirth and starting over and it was interesting and heartwarming. Cristina’s PTSD was really powerful. Lexie and Mark got back together just to break up like two episodes later. Lame. But everyone was really on there game. 

But I fell in love with April Kepner during her “we all have things we don’t talk about” speak. Yasss she slayed. Then her during the trauma simulation was hilarious. I even started liking the idea of her and Alex.

But then 7x08 happened and Alex was a dick and Jackson punched him. And THAT was when I fell in love with Jackson and the beginning seeds of Japril began to grow. 

The rest of the season wasn’t that memorable. Teddy and Henry were adorable. Jackson and Lexie got together but there were some good Slexie scenes to keep me interested. 

Season 8, I remember getting kinda uninterested half way through after Henry died. I did love Jackson choosing Sloan over Lexie, I thought that was hilarious twist to the love triangle. Then San Francisco happened and boy was I hooked. I had been subconsciously waiting for this for two seasons. Jackson and April were hilarious and hot during that bathroom scene. 

And the plane crash happened. And I was soooooooooo upset they killed Lexie. Like, she was my all-time favorite character at the time. I had invested four seasons of her and Sloan. I was pissed. So I said that I wasn’t going to watch anymore. (Sidenote: rewatched the episode, holy shit it is amazing. such a great episode) 

But then a lot of the stuff online was talking about April and Jackson and I was like shit... I like them. Maybe, I’ll just watch a few episodes and see if I still like the show. 

Season 9 is where i became OBSESSED. April and Jackson were amazing, I liked Jo and Alex, and Cristina and Meredith’s friendship was full-on cray cray in a good way. I thought it was insane to have Jackson propose in one scene and then break up with her in the next. Rewatching that scene and it still doesn’t make sense how he acted. Or how they were idiots in love for next full season. 

I loved the perfect storm episode, except the Arizona cheating which I thought again was lazy writing. 

The beginning of season 10 was rough for Japril shippers, like there wasn’t much to go on. I thought Jackson was such an idiot for so long. Like he denies denies denies until her fucking wedding day. I kinda wanted April to punch him and them have it out not just have her run away. Even though 10x13 was some of the purest most beautiful japril scenes ever. 

Season 11 was heartbreaking for literally everybody. Calzona got divorced. Japril baby died. Derek dies. I did like Amelia and Owen, but they were a mess like five minutes into it and never got it together. 

But those Jackson and april scenes are some of the best acted and written episodes that Grey’s has ever produced. That scene where April says, “its a boy” or when Jackson prays. Insane. So good. 

But then they did the time jump, again lazy writing. And April definitely seemed out of character to not even ask how her husband is for A YEAR. None of the story lines made sense for a year to go by. It was stupid. 

But April was super badass in the finale if it wasn’t heartbreaking for Japril fans. 

Season 12. Lowkey, I think that this is one of the best seasons of Greys. It was dramatic and funny and interesting. Japril was devastating but there was also so much hope left over. And they were both so scared about their kid. I mean 12x15 is Amazing for both jesse and sarah. I loved Arizona and April friendship, I even liked Nathan and Meredith and that finale was so good. April was a badass, Jackson was still obviously in love with her. Amelia and Owen were actually tolerable. 

Then season 13. This shit was terrible. LIke the writing was god awful. The maggie x nathan x meredith was so dumb. Minnick was the worst. The civil war thing was just dumb. Alex and Jo being miserable was terrible. Anything with Deluca (god he is just a useless useless character). 

But there was a beam of light of Japril, where they spent most of the season trying to coparent and coexist as not together while still obviously being in love with each other. Ugh where she sings “Faith” and then he asks her to move in. when he knows that she is “bored as hell” or when he says he doesn’t want them to move out or when he tries to be supportive as she dates. 

Then they fought for no reason and then Japril the sequel happened and we died and went to heaven. Just to be pulled right back down with eight terrible episodes and not just because japril doesn’t interact. but just because they are terrible. 

Then maggie and jackson in the finale and now season 14, which has already had its ups and downs. I loved the first two episodes and the 300th. 

BUT ANYWAY/ 

What i mean to say about this rambling rambling rambling text is that Greys goes in waves of being excellent and not so excellent. It does stupid storylines like George and Izzie and ghost denny and minnick, but it also does amazing storylines like japril and the plane crash and everything in between. So i am not giving up yet even as the shove jaggie down our throats. Because greys always has the ability to surprise me. 

[thesummerfox]

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 whoever the fuck you want

I was tagged by the fabulous @goddamnitkastle and @laura--howlett , thank you both so much! I’m tagging @wolveria, @emanationman, @thewonderginger, @sonicskullsalt, @carry-the-sky, @wasleichtes, @secondary2mary , @kteague , and @theycallmeeverlasting with absolutely no pressure to do this cos it’s a lot of stuff but if you’re bored like me.. go give it your best shot? 

Setting this under a read more cos I doubt anyone wants my babbling on their dash..

The Last …

1. drink: apple juice

2. phone call: I think I called mom to let her know what time I’d be coming home

3. text message: one from work asking if I remembered a password cos the entire IT dept is out on holiday and they couldn’t access a laptop lol

4. song you listened to: Na Na Na by Pentatonix

5. time you cried: ugly cry has been a while but casual cry was a few days ago

Have you ever ...

6. dated someone twice: I’m not sure how they mean this question but I’ve never casually dated, I’ve always been friends with people first and ‘dating’ felt a lot like hanging out (except with more kissing lol) so I dunno?

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope. I love kissing people and I do way too little of that so my only regret is not kissing more people haha!

8. been cheated on: not to my knowledge.

9. lost someone special: Yes, either because they died or because they left my life. 

10. been depressed: oh yes. My last major episode’s been a while, but I get downer moods like no tomorrow after I come off one of my high-as-a-kite moods so that’s a lot of fun. *eyerolls* Always have to be careful in fall/winter cos I’m more susceptible to a depressive bender in those months.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never even gotten drunk lol -- tipsy is the most I can manage because I’m a controlfreak like whoa

Favorite Colors…

12. Sky blue

13. Dark purple

14. Sunshine yellow/bright pink (hah I can’t choose!)

In The Last Year Have You…

15. made new friends: yesss

16. fallen out of love: nope. Been a while since I’ve been in it, if I’ve ever been at all.

17. laughed until you cried: that’s the best kind, so absolutely! I am the type to just start laughing hysterically or crack a few jokes that are funny to nobody but me so you can imagine that I’m not a stranger to just laughing so hard that I start crying

18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah, in both good and bad ways

19. met someone who changed you: always -- in big and small ways

20. found out who your friends are: thankfully, yes. 

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yes

General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: it’s a 50/50 cos I hate using FB for anything other than games and I have added people I only know from online interactions before cos they’re awesome and I wanna see what’s up in their lives

23. do you have any pets: not anymore =(

24. do you want to change your name: nah, I’m good with my name. My name and I are best friends right around now lol

25. what did you do for your last birthday: uhh I don’t recall what I did on the day itself but I know that I went to see the movie Jackie not too long after my birthday and called it my birthday outing so that’s that

26. what time did you wake up: 5am because my brain hates me

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: getting ready for bed

28. name something you can’t wait for: new Game of Thrones season

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: she’s literally in the next room so like 10 seconds ago lol -- I still live at home

31. what are you listening to right now: chirping birds in the backyard

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah

33. something that is getting on your nerves: the godawful holiday schedule that public transport’s got going on right now holy shit I’m so pissed

34. most visited website: Tumblr

35. hair color: it’s red right now but my natural colour is brown

36. long or short hair: I’m growing it back out to long

37. do you have a crush on someone: when do I not seriously

38. what do you like about yourself: I'm pretty intelligent and creative but I gotta tell ya that the thing I like most about myself is the devil-may-care Aquarius attitude to fashion/make-up that winds up with me mixing patterns and colours and going full-tilt cray with blue lipstick

39. piercings: I just have a hole in each ear so I can wear earrings but then forget about that a lot so I’m stabbing my own ears every so often just to keep them from closing up

40. blood type: I have no idea

41. nickname: no real nickname going on at the moment

42. relationship status: single and too picky to mingle lol

43. zodiac: Aquarius

44. pronouns: She/her.

45. favorite tv show: BANSHEE (I’m sorry I’m all-capsing the fuck outta this but this show is insane in the best way and I want y’all to start watching it if you haven’t already okay good thank me later for your traumas)

46. tattoos: I haven’t got one but I keep thinking about getting one but I’m a chickenshit with a low pain tolerance so eh

47. right or left handed: right-handed

48. surgery: I had some work on my teeth done like ages ago but I’ve never been in hospital for anything 

49. piercing: aside from my earring holes, absolutely nada

50. sport: I took ballet back when I was tiny but lately the most I do is occasional yoga

51. vacation: I’m not going anywhere this year that I know of but I like doing citytrips and a lot of sightseeing stuff

52. pair of trainers: Skechers are awesome for my feet so I’ve got a fair few of those -- I tend to walk around in trainers a lot cos I’m always on the go and cannot walk long distances in crap shoes

More General

53. eating: I’m a superpicky eater but I like my fruit and veg, haha (and the last thing I ate was bread and strawberry jam)

54. drinking: I live off fruit juice and water

55. i’m about to: stare at my screen some more cos I have a writer’s block looming over my long fic

56. waiting for: my holidays to start omg

57. want: to buy a car and move out of the house but in this current economy that’s like saying “I need a ticket to the miracle express”

58. get married: someday, maybe? I’m not seeing anyone and you really do need more than one person for that adventure

59. career: I have one? but it’s like a career born out of necessity that doesn’t totally suck to do on a daily basis and the career I want (I just wanna write let me write) is not constructive as a way to pay the bills

60. hugs or kisses: BOTH. I hug people more than I kiss ‘em but I’m all for both

61. lips or eyes: eyes are the window of the soul yo

62. shorter or taller: I’m relatively tall so my inner circle of people consists of both shorter (mostly girls) and taller (Dutch folks tend to be skyscrapers)

63. older or younger: I’m friends with people much older and quite a bit younger than me -- I really don’t care about that. all my relationships have been with guys who were a bit older tho

64. nice arms or nice stomach: ARMSSS I have a thing with nice hands/arms you don’t even know

65. hook up or relationship: relationship, never done random hook-ups

66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (I blame my Cap stellium omg)

67. kissed a stranger: noooo but I totally would not gonna lie

68. drank hard liquor: hahahahahaha oh no

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nah, I may forget where I put them but I never lost them

70. turned someone down: yeah I’ve had to do that, it’s not fun but if I’m really not feelin’ it I’m not gonna pretend otherwise -- I really fucking hate it when people don’t take a polite “no” for an answer though

71. sex on the first date: depends on how long I’ve actually known someone? if they’re a total stranger, then nope, but if we were friends before dating I just might

72. broken someone’s heart: yes, probably, but I didn’t stick around to watch them fall apart cos I was that done with the relationship and he really really really had it comin’ so I hope I shattered it tbh

73. had your heart broken: yeah but I bounced back all right from that so my guess is that I haven’t crashed and burned the way some folks do over heartbreak

74. been arrested: nah

75. cried when someone died: I have done both the ugly sobbing that just makes everything stream out in a cascade of tears and snot (yeah lol tmi) and the dry-eyed thing that eventually ended in a breakdown months later so uhhuh

76. fallen for a friend: always. not in that I always fall in love with my friends, lol, but in that I have to be friends with someone if I’m really gonna fall for them that way imo

Do You Believe In …

77. yourself:  hell to the yes I do

78. miracles: I think the universe provides for us and sometimes blindsides us in a way that makes us think miracles are real

79. love at first sight: I’ve had it happen and it’s not fun so I wanna stop believing in that okay thanks

80. santa claus: I used to, like I seriously hallucinated reindeer noises at one point

81. kiss on the first date: yes please

82. angels: yes

Other

83. current best friends’ names: they know who they are

84. eye color: green

85. favorite movie: Wonder Woman! (to absolutely nobody’s surprise? hah)

[kamelodi]

Get to know me tag!

Tagged by the beautiful @toomanyfeelsexogdi, lovely @ilikechimchimnuggets, sweet @kaidonutsuniverse. ✨

Tagging: @loyalkaisoo @wuace @xxlostinthedragonxx @livinka-n-diland @wakawaka33 @hellomellowyellowjello @dcc1288 @monkeecamsie (Do it if you want to! I apologise if you’ve already done it! :>) 

Rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Orange juice. Gotta get that Vitamin C because I ain’t getting that Vitamin D. It’s so cold here, I feel like my nose is going to fall off. :< Please eat lots of oranges to protect yourself against the cold everyone! :> 

2. Phone call: My friend Toby. He let me listened to his dog whine through the phone. Great thing to fall asleep too. :> I wish I had a pupperino. 

3. Text message: My sis-in-law because I wanted bubble tea! 

4. Song you listened to: What Redbone would sound like if it were a Cat Piano Cover

5. Time you cried: Today!

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes, only once~ I actually remember sneaking out of my house once when I was really young, lied to my family just so I can have a sleepover with them. We didn’t do anything inappropriate but I nearly got lost in the streets by myself at night just to see them. We haven’t talked in years and it’s funny how they live down the street to me now. :> 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes! I would rather kiss a frog than kiss them again. 

8. Been cheated on: Fortunately not yet. 

9. Lost someone special: Yes. 

10. Been depressed: :(


11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No! I don’t think I will ever drink hahaha but I do want to get drunk once and see if I do anything funny. Just so I have a funny drunk story to tell. :>

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Blue has been my favourite colour since I ever knew about colours. It’s really pretty, calming, like the sky. However I definitely think colour is associated with personality because nowadays I prefer to tell people that I like red ever since I wanted to become more confident. I think the intensity and passion of the colour is what I wanna be rather than a passive and calm blue. But that’s how I show myself to the world, I’m still an alice blue inside (I say that because my name is Alice and alice blue is a shade of blue! hahaha). I will always love black...even if it’s a shade. It’s just sophisticated, classy and mysterious. 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes! Hopefully it will last! :> 

16. Fallen out of love: Was I really in love with that person? 

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes, my friend was reading a poem to me and I fell onto the middle of the road and laughed until I cried. It was the way he read it. No one else can make it funny but him.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Nope!

19. Met someone who changed you: No...? But ever since I joined Tumblr a few months ago, I got to talk to people who has had a major influence on me. Before that, I would just stalk them online so I’m happy to have finally talked to them. :>

20. Found out who your friends are: Yep!

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Ya! 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 50%? 


23. Do you have any pets: I have 3 lovely pet fish who like to splash in their pretty fish bowl and I stalk this beautiful cat who appears in my neighbourhood. 

24. Do you want to change your name: Not...really? When I was 8, I remember asking my mum if I could change my birthday. It was really silly because it was the date that the Simpsons movie was going to be released lmao and I guess that was me expressing my excitement? Twitter/tumblr style lmao. But I love my birthday. 💕

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Every single birthday, we go to my favourite fancy restaurant and eat lobster. 

26. What time did you wake up: 8am because food. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching The Little Mermaid for fic writing purposes! But I fell asleep while watching it! 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: kaisoo’s wedding. I even have a speech prepared. 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: This morning. 


30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: A lot of things...I really wanna go back in time. Let’s build a time machine. \o/

31. What are you listening right now: The Weeknd - Die For You | The Theorist Piano Cover

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yep!  


33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My uncle smokes and drinks a lot. He has lung problems but he’s really stubborn about overcoming his addictions or going to the doctor. He just stays in his room, play games and every 2 minutes he would cough and clear his throat very loudly and it drives me insane. I’m too scared to talk to him. 


34. Most visited Website: Youtube/AFF. 

LOST QUESTIONS.

35. Mole/s: Many! I’ve even had some removed...it was my biggest childhood dream to have them gone tbh! 

36. Mark/s: Some!? 


37. Childhood dream: Wanting to be like wonder woman, do every job in the world. I had a whole list of what I wanted to be like an author, doctor, lawyer, singer, artist, director, actress etc. I would count them off my fingers really quickly like my whole life was planned. But growing up, I learnt a few things about the world, myself and my family and I know now that I really want to be a doctor! I still have an interest in many things but I think it would be wonderful to take care and save all the wonderful people I want to be. :) Also publish at least one book in my life! My ultimate life goal! 

38. Hair Colour: Light brown. 

39. Long or short hair: Medium?

40. Do you have a crush on someone: I don’t do crushes. ;) 

41. What do you like about yourself: I am small. 

42. Piercings: Ears! 

43. Blood type: ABO because I don’t know! ^o^  

44. Nickname: Arisu!!!!!!!

45. Relationship status: In a relationship.  

46. Zodiac: Capricorn 

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Can I say EXO Showtime? I also like Hannibal! I really wanna get into House of Cards or Game of Thrones lmao. 

49. Tattoos: No....t yet. 

50. Right or left hand: Right. 

51. Surgery: Dental surgery?

52. Hair dyed in different color: Yes! My favourite was red, I will go back to it soon. :> 

53. Sport: Running! Track and field with my super short legs! 

54. Vacation: Seoul?

55. Pair of trainers: 3. 

MORE GENERAL:

56. Eating Currently: A starburst. 

57. Drinking currently: Nothing but I should drink some water. Stay hydrated everyone! 

58. I’m about to: go workout! 

61. Waiting for: sleep! 

62. Want: turn my dreams into reality! 

63. Get married: yes!? I grew up watching this TV sitcom where there’s this really rich lady who married 8 rich husbands. I joke to my mum that I will be like her. 


64. Career: Something medical, something literary. 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs! Warm bear hugs. :>


66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. I wonder what Kaisoo would choose lmao. 

67. Shorter or taller: Taller. I’m really not asking for much because I’m super smol. 


68. Older or younger: Older? 


70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach? 

71. Sensitive or loud: Loud like Baekhyun please! 


72. Hook up or relationship: 
Relationship pls. 

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Trouble maker. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope! ^o^ 

75. Drank hard liquor: nope! ^o^ 

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope! ^o^ 

77. Turned someone down: yep!

78. Sex in the first date: nope! ^o^ 

79. Broken someone’s heart: yes. 

80. Had your heart broken: yes, it’s karma. :)

81. Been arrested: nope! hopefully never! 


82. Cried when someone died: yep! 

83. Fallen for a friend: yep! 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: it’s a tough journey getting there but eventually yes. 

85. Miracles: yes
! always having hope.

86. Love at first sight: Yes! But I think the Japanese phrase “Koi no Yokan” describes how I see it better, “The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love.” 

87. Santa Claus: no. T^T 

88. Kiss in the first date: yep! :> 

89. Angels: I think people can be like angels. I also have this silly thought that I have a guardian angel these days. 

OTHER:

90. Current best friends’ names: Toby, Zeri 

91. Eyecolor: Dark brown! 

92. Favorite movie: Classic list - Her, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, A Beautiful Mind, Oldboy, The Handmaiden, Amelie 

[lillaxtrigger]

The ghostly maid: Pilot

This is my attempt at a TV Pilot for a show. I hope you enjoy. In a big mansion atop a hillside. Lived a rich, but a lonely teenager named Trevor. For as long as he can remember, he's been haunted by a skinny young ghost girl who acts as his maid named Jewely. Trevor had many servant, butlers, and maids. But Jewely and he have always had a special connection that felt like more than servent and master. This is because his parents died while at a young age. He felt devastated when they passed, but Jewely managed to help him out of his depression. Now he's on track and in training to run his fathers company. Morning rises on the manor. A young, blue, translucent, ghost girl wearing a maids outfit was floating through the halls. She saw a butler approach and she asks him, "Excuse me, Reginald. Is Trevor up yet." in a soothing, French accent. "Ah yes, the young master. I do believe he's still in his quarters." Reginald said. "At 12 in the afternoon? He's already lost half the day. I'll wake him up.". A young boy wearing nothing but his underwear was sleeping in his bed. The ghost girl phased into his room and said in a gentle tone "Oh Trevor, it's time to get up.". The boy did not hear her and continued sleeping. "Trevor, wake up." she said. The ghost girl was growing impatient as Trevor kept snoring. She gently lifted the boy from his bed and suddenly tossed him into the ceiling, making a human shaped hole in the roof. The boy came back down to earth with a thud. "Aggh! Jewely, you know I hate it when you wake me up like that." Trevor said as he rubbed his head. "Sorry, Trevor. I tried to get you up the normal way, but nothing seemed to work. You really are a heavy sleeper." Jewely said. "Why did you wake me up anyway? It's Saturday.". "Well, it's my firm belief that only vampires sleep in the afternoon. And last time I checked, you're not a vampire.". Ugh, I feel so tired." Trevor said in an exhausted tone. "Well, maybe you wouldn't be so sleepy if you didn't stay up all night, playing video games.". "Come on, I only get two days off from school and I want to enjoy myself before I go back to all those snobby teens and teachers." Trevor said as he looked through his closet. "Well you want to inherit your late fathers' company, right?" Jewely said. "Yeah.". "Well you're gonna have to get a good education to fill the position. And that school is the best in the state.". "I know, but just want to relax for one day, ya know? When I'm not at school, I'm in meetings and interviews. Just once I'd like to go outside and have fun...Like a regular teenager." he said. "...You know what, you're right. Put on your casual clothes. I think you should have at least one day to yourself. One day to go out there and be a normal teen for once. Put on some casual clothes. You're going out." Jewely said with confidence. "Really!? But what about my schedule keeper. I doubt he will let me go anywhere." Trevor said as he pulled out a green hoodie. "Oh don't worry, I'll take care of everything.". So using her ghostly powers, Jewely got Trevor past all the security and out of the mansion gates. "Thanks, Jewely! Your the best!" Trevor exclaimed, then ran off into the city. Trevor was walking on the streets when he went into a video game store. "Huh, so this a video game store is like.". Trevor said. He approached a someone in a red muscle shirt and black pants from behind and said "Excuse me, do know where the game "Evil souls" might be?". The boy in the red shirt turned around and said "Huh? No, I don't work here.". "Oh sorry. It's just that this is the first time that I've been in a video game store. I usually get my games as gifts or just buy them online. What game are you trying to get?" Trevor said. "Well I was trying to turn in my console for some money, but this place barely gives you any money for the newest consoles, even when they sell them for quadruple the price. It's insane!" the boy complained. "Really? That must suck.". "It does. I might as well just go to the arcade." the boy said, then was walking away. He stopped when heard Trevor ask him "What's an arcade?". "What? How old are you?". "...14?" Trevor responded. "You're telling me that your same age as I am and you've never been to an arcade, much less heard of one?" the boy said in disbelief. Trevor stood silent, ashamed to admit that what the boy said was right. "Alright, I'll take ya." the boy responded. "Wait, really!? Are you sure about that? I mean you barely know me.". "Meh, whatever. Got a lot of time on my hands. What's your name?". "Trevor. Yours?". "The names Pike. I'm gonna show a real good time" the boy said as he leads Trevor out of the store. Back at the mansion, Jewely was in Trevor's bedroom, patching up the hole she left on the roof. A nervous man struggling to hold a bunch of papers burst in the room, saying "Where's Trevor!?". "Hello Barly. Trevor is not in the mansion at this time. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep!" the ghostly maid said. "What do mean he's not here? He couldn't be at school. It's Saturday." Barly said. "I just thought that Trevor needed some time off from you keeping his schedule. Never giving the poor boy a break. So I sent him to town to have some time off.". Barly dropped all of his papers and said: "You did what?". "I mean really Barly, you make him do all kinds of stuff like boring gala's and interview meetings and barely gets anytime for himself. It's not fair." Jewely said. "You sent him into the city without supervision!" Barly shouted. "Oh...um..." Jewely said, realizing that she might have screwed up. "What's worse is that Trevor is supposed to have an important interview in an hour!". "That's the worst part? I sent Trevor into the city on his own without any direction or supervision, and your worried about him missing a stupid interview!?". "The "stupid interview" Trevor is supposed to have with the current CEO of the company. If he's not their at the interview on time, he'll lose the company and the family fortune along with it!" Barly said. A moment of silence passed by before Jewely bolted out of the mansion and in to the city. Barly heard cracking and saw dust come from above him. He looked up and was smacked on the head by a piece of wood, knocking the scheduler out. Trevor and Pike enter a building and before Trevor knew it, he was surrounded by flashing lights, blinking machines, and booping electronics. "Oh sweet lord. What kind of paradise did you lead me to?" Trevor said in aw. "It's just the arcade, dude." Pike answered. "I've never seen anything like this in my whole life. (starts to cry) It...it's beautiful.". Pike was starting to get uncomfortable, saying "Do you wanna play them?". "YES!" Trevor screamed, then rushed to one of the machines. He was fiddling with the buttons on the arcade cabinet, then said "Hey. I keep pressing the buttons on this thing, but nothings happening. Is it broken?". "Um, no. You need tokens to play the games in the arcade." Pike said. Trevor approached him and said "How do you get tokens?" in Pikes face, who said, "You pay for them.". "Oh, in that case..." Trevor said as he was digging around his pockets but then said: "Come on, don't tell me I left my wallet at home.". "Don't worry. I got a 10 we can split." Pike said as he put 10 dollars into the token machine, which deposited 20 gold tokens. As he handed half the tokens to Trevor, Pike said "Now only one token can play one game at a time or help you continue the game your playing if you lose. So choose what you wanna play wisely, cause I can't give you any more.". So Trevor tried out games of all kinds until he ran into a peculiar machine. When he started to play it, the boy was amazed at what he saw. "Hey Pike, you gotta check this game out. The graphics are so realistic!" Trevor said. Pike walked up to Trevor and saw the machine that he was playing and said "...That a pinball machine.". Looking at the machine, we see that Pike was right. "The ball is real." Pike said. Trevor was furiously pressing the side buttons and keeping the ball from dropping. Pike noticed that he was shaking the machine vigorously and said "Uh, hey. I wouldn't shake it so hard if I were you, you could make it-" before a buzzing noise came from the machine.Trevor noticed that the buttons were not working and the ball plummeted straight down into the pit. "Oh no! Did I break it!?" Trevor said in a panic. "Relax, you didn't break it. The game just shuts down when you tilt it. It keeps people from controlling the ball's momentum and cheating.". "Oh...so do I get my token back?". "Nope, since the game think you cheated, it doesn't give it back." Pike explained. "No-o! But I didn't cheat! I swear!" Trevor shouted, then started to pound the pinball machine. He was starting to draw unwanted attention, with Pike seeing an employee looking at them. "Hey, Trevor, let's forget this pinball game and play something else, alright? "Pike suggested. "(Sigh) Alright." Trevor said, calming himself down. Jewely was flying all around town, searching for Trevor. She said to herself "If I was Trevor. With no supervision, where would I want to go?". Then she remembers what she said to him in his bedroom, how he stayed up all night playing video games. "That's it! I just got to go somewhere where there are video games." Jewely said. She flew around until she saw a video game store. In the store, a woman was rudely yelling at the store clerk, shouting "What do you mean you can't replace this console!?". "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I can't replace your console for free. The warranty expired." the clerk said nervously. The woman was clearly losing her patience. "B-But I can offer you one at half off. At $199?" the clerk said. "This is unbelievable. Where's your manager?" the woman said. "I'm sorry, but he's out." the clerk said in a scared tone. The woman walked to the front door and was about to exit. Until Jewely accidentally slammed the door on her, knocking her out. "Oops. Excuse me miss." the ghost said. She floated to the clerk, who stood stiff and silent. "Sorry to be a bother, but have you seen a young boy with a green hoodie come in your store?" Jewely politely asked. The clerk screamed in utter terror. They kept playing at the arcade. Trevor was noticing pink pieces of paper coming out of the machines when he's done playing. "Hey, Pike. What are these pink slips of paper coming out of the games?" Trevor asked. "Those are tickets. They come out of the cabinets when you win games. The better you play, the more comes out." Pike answered. "What are they for?". "They're used to get prizes at that prize corner over there." Pike said. Pike pointed to a shelf full of random prize. Including a moped. "Hold on, have you not been collecting them?" Pike added. Trevor quickly checked all the games he played and saw that there were no tickets. He then got depressed, saying "Aw man...". Pike comforted him by saying "Hey, it's okay. You can just play more and earn back more tickets.". "But I don't have any more tokens. Do you have any left?". "No...but I do have some tickets. I can get you something." Pike said as he pulled out a wad of tickets. "What! But you earned all those tickets yourself. You should get something you want.". "I don't mind.". "No no. You earned something for yourself.". "...How about this. I'll get something that we can both use." Pike suggested "Really? Like what?" Trevor asked. "Don't know, let's have a look.". Both of them looked at the prize counter and saw a bunch of prizes with various ticket prices. Pike looked around until he saw some walkie talkies on the shelf. "How about those?" he said, pointing to them. "Walkie talkies? Why? I can just give you my number." Trevor said. "I don't have a phone.". "How come?". "My dad is a cheapskate. He won't even spare me enough money to buy a decent pair of shoes for me.". Trevor looked at Pike in pity. The clerk of the prize counter grabbed the walkie talkies and said: "That'll be thirty tickets.". Pike counted up his tickets and said: "No, I'm 5 short.". Trevor thought for a second, then pulled out the tickets that he just won. "Hey, I got 5 more." Trevor said. They got the walkie Talkies and left the arcade. Jewely was flying around the sky, saying "Well that guy wasn't any help. I guess I'm so used to being in the mansion and talking to people who treat me normally that I forgot that I'm a ghost. Oopsie doops.". She noticed the arcade up ahead and was about to descend into the building, when she stopped herself and thought about her appearance. "Hmm. I can't go in this arcade like this. I might cause another panic." Jewely said as she looked around. She then spotted a young woman across the street and said "Ah ha. That might work.", then rushed behind the woman, entering her. She spasmed for a bit before the woman's eyes turned blue. Jewely possessed the woman and entered the arcade. She went up to the prize counter clerk and said to him "Excuse me sir. Did you happen to see a boy in this arcade around here? He looks about 14 and should be wearing a green hoodie. I was watching him, but he seemed slip from me.". "Um, yeah. He just left with some kid in a red shirt. Do you want me to call the cops?" the clerk said. "Oh that won't be necessary, cherie. I think I can take it from here." she said. She walked out of the arcade and didn't come out of the woman until she was around the corner. After Jewely came out of her, the woman tasted something in her mouth and said "Why do I taste blueberries?". Pike and Trevor were at a near empty ice cream parlor. Trevor was blankly staring at the cone in his hands, with balls of frosted milk on top. "What is this?" he asked Pike. "It's ice cream, man. Seriously, who hasn't heard of ice cream?" Pike said. "...How do I eat it? Do I use a fork?". "You use your mouth. You lift the ice cream up to your mouth and take a bite out of it.". Trevor did what Pike said and ate a piece of the ice cream. Upon tasting the treat, Trevor's mind figuratively exploded, then he started frantically eating the rest of the cone. "I wouldn't eat that so fast if I were you." Pike warned him. But by the time he finished talking, Trevor finished eating and said "Why?". "Um..." Pike said. A couple seconds passed before Trevor grabbed his own head and screamed in pain. "Brain freeze." Pike said. "How do I make this stop!?" Trevor screamed. "It'll go away in a second.". Sure enough, Trevor's pain stopped and he said "Augh. That hurt. Why did it hurt?". "That's called a brain freeze dude. It happens when you eat ice cream too fast.". "Uh, that was painful. Maybe I should-" Trevor said but stopped when he heard someone call his name. He rushed out outside with Pike following him. He followed the voice until she ran into his ghostly made, who hugged him, saying "Oh I'm so glad that I found you.". "Hey Trevor, where ya goin? I-" Pike said, but stopped when he saw Jewely. "Oh, Jewely. This is Pike. He's a new friend that I made. Pike, this is Jewely. She is my maid...and a ghost." Trevor said. "Wait, you can see her too? Oh thank goodness. I thought my medication was wearing off." Pike said. "Wait, what medication?" Trevor asked. "Trevor! We need to get you back to the mansion and fast!" Jewely said. "Are you kidding me!? I've actually had more fun than I had in a long time. And I've actually made a human friend. I'm actually enjoying myself." Trevor stated. "I know. I'm sorry. But you need to get back before-". "Before what?". "Before you lose your family company and your fortune." Jewely said. "What..." Trevor said in shock. "You're supposed to have an interview with the current CEO of the company. If you don't get back on time, the CEO will claim the company and you'll be out on the streets." Jewely said. "Oh... oh no." Trevor said. "Hold up, you're loaded!?" Pike said in surprise. "Yeah. I'm the-" Trevor tried to explain, but Jewely interrupted him, saying "We don't have time to explain! We have 5 minutes before the interview starts!". "Oh man! We need to book it then." Trevor said. Jewely grabbed Trevors hands and floated off. "I'll explain later Pike! I'll see ya!" Trevor shouted as he flew off. "Huh, that's pretty neat." Pike said. He then saw another ghost beside him, all slimy and corpsey, saying "I will eat your soul!". "Whelp, time for another dose." Pike said as he took out a pill bottle from his pocket and popped a pill in his mouth. As soon as he swallowed it, the evil ghost went away. Jewely was flying as fast as she could as she was carrying Trevor. "3 minutes left! We're not gonna make it!" Trevor said. "No...but you will." Jewely said. "What?". "Do you trust me?". "Yeah, I trust you. But what are you gonna...Oh no. No no no no no! Jewely, there has to be another way! There's gotta be!" Trevor said. "I'm sorry Trevor. It's the only way." Jewely with regret. The ghost girl lifted her master up upon her shoulders and threw him into the sky like a javelin. He took off into the atmosphere, disappearing with a twinkle. In the mansion, Barly was pacing back and forth in a nervous wreck, saying "Where are they? One more minute and the and the CEO will leave! Ahhh!". He then stopped pacing when he heard faint screaming. He was confused when the screaming got louder. Trevor crashed through the roof and landed with a loud thud. "Trevor?" Barly said. The boy quickly got up and said "Barly! Where is the interview room!?". "It's right this way! Hurry!" Barly screamed. Both of them rushed off in a massive hurry. Jewely made it the mansion 10 minutes later. She saw Barly next to a door and said to him "What happened? Did he make it in time?". Then a couple of men in business suits came out of the door, not saying a single word from their departure. Then Trevor came out a moment later. "Trevor! Did you make it in time?" she asked. Trevor sulked his head down. Jewely gasped, and said "...I'm sorry that you didn't make it. But I want you to know that I'll stand by you, even in your times of hardship. I'll never abandon you.". "What? No, I made it. Passed the interview too." Trevor said. "Really? That's wonderful! But why are you so sad?" Jewely asked. "Well, it's just that...if all my meetings and stuff are this important, then I can't really have time for myself, can I? Barly, I'm sorry that I snuck out and made you panic. I'll abide by your schedule from now on." Trevor said in a sad tone, then walked off. Jewely watched as her master sulk off. "Well. That was certainly a close call. But I'm glad things are going back to normal." Barly said, then started to walk off. He stopped when he saw Jewely got in front of him. She was staring at him with squinted eyes and her hands on her hips. "What?" Barly said. "All he wanted was to be a kid. At least for one day. But thank to you and your stupid schedule, he might never get that chance again." Jewely said. "But...but his schedules already booked as it is. I can't change it enough to give him time. If his parent were still around, he might get some time.". "Well you are going to change it. Because even if he almost lost everything, he deserved that day off. He actually made a friend, a real friend. And I'm not gonna let you take that away from him. He deserves to be a kid!" Jewely said. "Well what do think I should do?" Barly asked her. Night fell onto the mansion. Trevor was on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Jewely knocked on the door and entered and said "Bonjour Trevor!". "Oh, hi Jewely." Trevor said. "I have some good news for you. I had a talk with Barly and got him to arrange your schedule.". "What?" Trevor said as he got up from his bed. "Now you have weekends off to do whatever you want.". "Really!? Thank you Jewely! Your the best!" Trevor said as he hugged the ghost maid. Jewely hugged back as she smiled. "Now get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow, doing whatever you want. Goodnight." Jewely said as she left the room. Trevor climbed back into bed and pulled out a walkie talkie. He turned it on and said "Hey Pike, are you there? Can you hear me?". Seconds of static pass until Trevor heard a voice on the other side say "Yep, I'm here. Guess these things work after all. Hey, what was the deal with Jewely, that ghost girl? Is she haunting you or something?" Pike asked. "Well no. She can go wherever she wants to, but she just hangs around my house, doing maid stuff. I don't know why. Not that I'm complaining.". "Where'd she come from?". "I'm not sure. I've known her all my life. Yet she never said where she's from.". "Can't you ask her?". "Jeez Pike. That might sound a little personal. She is a ghost. Asking a ghost how she died is a little uncomfortable, ain't it?...Say, do you have any plans for tomorrow.".

[amynchan]

Tag numero uno!

Actually got double tagged by @kwamimusings  XD

FIRST ONE

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

Name: I’ll stick with Amy.  *^_^*

Nicknames: Ames, Yames, Sancouer

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Height: 5′10-11″

Orientation: Pretty sure I’m ace

Ethnicity: White.  XD

Favorite Fruit: Strawberries!

Favorite Season: I’m liking Spring.  I don’t have allergies and it’s when I start coming out of hibernation.  XD

Favorite Book: Do I have to pick one?

Favorite Flower: Used to be roses, but now I’m fond of sunflowers?

Favorite Scent: Freshly cut grass

Favorite animals: I’ve become fond of cats.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Cocoa: Hot hot!  Hot chocolate!

Cat or Dog Person: Cats, because they’re more likely to be calmer than dogs

Favorite Fictional Character: Ummmmm

Dream Trip: An all around the world tour, stopping specifically to say hi to all my internet friends.  *^_^*

Blog Created: I think it was 2014 or something like that?

Number of Followers: 883 people who are all probably about as insane as I am  X’D

What I Post About: I reblog stuff I’m interested in, but also post fanarts, fanfictions, and poetry

Do I get asks on a regular basis: lolno

Aesthetic: Like...  visuals we like?  Countryside, with earthy colors and something that’s calm, but has the tinge of possible adventure on the horizon.  Just a tinge, though.  *^_^*

Hogwarts House: I’m a Huffle.  X’D

SECOND ONE!!

Rules: Write 92 rules about yourself, then tag 25 people. 

LAST ___:

Drink: Water Phone Call: My aunt Text message: Got one of those Facebook personality tests from my sister (it says I’m ruled by both emotion and logic.  XD) Song you listened to: Fields of Glory by High Kings Time you cried: This morning.  Dad said some things that I didn’t know I needed to hear, so yes, I cried.

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Dated someone twice: Yeah. Been cheated on: I don’t think so. Kissed someone and then regretted it: Yeah Lost someone special: Yes. Been depressed: Felt down?  Yeah.  I’m not sure if I ever got clinical depression, though. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: Purple, green, silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU _____: Made new friends: I make new friends online, but irl, I tend to latch onto my bro’s friends.  X’D  I have no social skills Fallen out of love: I don’t think so, because I don’t think I’ve ever felt honest to goodness love.  I’ve felt obligation and I’ve felt intense fondness, but I’m not sure if either of those were romantic love. Laughed until you cried: Oh heck to the yes.  I have a story about this. X’D Found out someone was talking about you: Yes.  It wasn’t pleasant Met someone who changed you: Yeah.  Both for the good and for the bad. Found out who your true friends are: Yes.  I have a story about my best friend where she literally dropped everything and she and her boyfriend came out to kidnap me and treat me to ice cream because I was sobbing my eyes out.  Best.  Friend.  Ever. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes?  We were kind of dating at the time of said kissing, but we’re not anymore.  But we’re still friends, so it’s all good.

GENERAL: How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Ummmm...  Most of them, actually.  Whenever I start to get too freaked out, I go through my FB list and take off people I don’t talk to anymore. Do you have any pets: Nope Do you want to change your name: I wanted to be named Crystal when I was younger.  And, of course, I did want to legally change my name to Amy.  I don’t anymore, though.  XD What did you do for your last birthday: A family get together with my family and my best friend, crowded around a freaking amazing cake.  Also, a karaoke competition! *^_^* What time did you wake up: Nine in the morning What were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was on this gosh darned site.  X’D

Name something you cannot wait for: Getting out of this school.  I swear it’s a ghost town in comparison to my last.  *shudders* When was the last time you saw your mother: A few hours ago. What is something you wish you could change about your life: I wish I had either a real job or was able to do serious commissions What are you listening to right now: The Black Velvet Band by High Kings Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yup.  He’s my great uncle, actually.  *^_^* Something that is getting on your nerves:  Currently?  Ummmm....  my seemingly inability to go to sleep at a decent hour despite the fact that I’ve got choir tomorrow?  X’D Most visited website: Tumblr and ArchiveOfOurOwn.  ^^; Elementary: Secret High school: Secret College: Secret Hair color: Blonde Long or short hair: I keep it nice and short.  XD Do you have a crush on someone: Sorta?  But I think it’s going away now. What do you like about yourself:  I do my best to make people smile when I can? Piercings: None Blood type:  O Positive, I think Nickname: Didn’t we already do this one? Relationship status: All the single ladies, all the single ladies!  X’D Zodiac sign: Libra Pronouns: She/her Favorite TV show: I’ve gotten into the Great British Bake Off lately, which is really fun.  *^_^* Tattoos: None.  I’m terrified of needles.  X’D Right or left hand: Right

FIRST ____: Surgery: Does being knocked out for wisdom teeth removal count? Piercing: None Best friend: Someone I’d rather not talk about. Sport: I was never on any team Vacation: My little baby feet knew of the beach’s soft sand before I was a year old.  *^_^* Pair of trainers: Huh?

RIGHT NOW ___: Eating: Nothing Drinking: Nothing About to: Contemplate sleeping Listening to: The Auld Triangle by High King (though this is the third time you’ve asked now.  0.o) Waiting for: An email that’s probably never gonna come. XD Want: My papers to be done, but iLazy.  X’D Get married: Eventually, but as stated, I am a single lady, so it’s not happening anytime soon. X’D Career: Don’t have one yet, but I’m hoping to be a college English professor in the future.

WHICH IS BETTER ____: Hugs or kisses: Hugs just feel nicer.  *^_^* Lips or eyes: Eyes are the window to the soul Shorter or taller: Taller Older or younger: Um...  not sure, honestly Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms.  The better to hug you with, my dear. Sensitive or loud: A mix of both?  I’m not terribly loud, but I do enjoy the company of one who isn’t afraid to be happy or gushing. Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Ummmm...

HAVE YOU EVER ____: Kissed a stranger: Pfft, no way!  A stranger can’t even pat me on the back without me jumping a mile high.  X’D Drank hard liquor: I don’t think so? Lost glasses/contact lenses: Ahahahahaha....  yeah. X’D Turned someone down: Ummm, sorta?  But he didn’t even mean it in the first place, so when I tried to stutter my way through the fact that I was flattered but didn’t even know him, he and his pal just kinda laughed at me, hooting about how I’d even believed it in the first place.  That’s the only time I remember, so..  *shrugs* Sex on first date: Ew, no! Broken someone’s heart: I’m afraid so. Had your own heart broken: Only by myself. Been arrested: Nah, but I’ve been in the back of a police car. Cried when someone died: Yes. Fallen for a friend: I thought I did?  But I was misidentifying my fondness for him.  Like, I want him to grow and be happy and live a happy life, but it ain’t gonna be with me.  X’D

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ____: Yourself: *shrugs*  I mean, I should, but....  meh. Miracles: I believe they happen. Love at first sight: I don’t think so. Santa Claus: Sadly no.  X’D Kiss on the first date: I don’t even know how to kiss properly, so I’d say nah.  X’D Angels: I’m not 100% sure, but I think they’re there.

OTHER ____: Current best friend’s name: Can’t spill a secret that isn’t mine to tell. ;) Eye color: They change from green to blue then to green again Movie: Anastasia is always a good one.

[secret-rendezvous1d]

92 Truths.

Thank you for the tag, @1989rosesxx.

I tag; all of who you feel like you’d like to do this. It’s fun, haha.

What was your…

Last drink: A cup of tea; I wake up and make myself one every morning. Last phone call: My nan. We were talking about our trip to London Zoo tomorrow. Last text message: It was a bit of a brutal message but it was to that one guy I spoke to you guys about a while back, telling him to leave me alone and stop pestering me about going on a date with him because he was becoming borderline obsessive and creepy. Last song you listened to: When Christmas Comes Around; Matt Terry. I know it’s not Christmas time but I miss his voice and he doesn’t have an album out yet. :(((( Last time you cried: A few days ago? I was really tired and I just burst into tears.

Have you ever…

Dated someone twice: I’ve never dated anyone so nope. Been cheated on: Nope. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope. Lost someone special: I think we all have at some point in our lives. Been depressed: I haven’t.

In the past year, have you…

Made a new friend: Oh, my god. I’ve made a tonne of new friends; mostly online. Fallen out of love: Nope. Laughed until you cried: Most of the time you’ll always see me laughing, so, I definitely have done this many times in the last year, I presume. Met someone who changed you: In real-life, I have met loads of people that have properly brought me out of my nervous shell. Online, I’ve met people who don’t judge me for who I am and they support me with everything I do and they’re just truly wonderful and trustworthy and it makes me so happy to have them in my life. Found out who your true friends are: Oh, god, yes. In the last year, my friendship list as definitely gone down and I’ve lost a good few friends because they thought themselves to be better than anybody else. Kissed anyone on your followers/following: Nope. But, I have hugged one. How many people on your tumblr do you know irl: I know two people in real life. Do you want to change your name: Not at all, no. What time did you wake up today: It’s Sunday so I always wake up around 10pm-ish. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was jamming out to some of McFly’s older tunes. Having a mini concert in the bedroom, to be more precise with you all. :))) Name something you can’t wait for: Pretty much every single thing to do with Harry Styles, I suppose.  What is the one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I was active and healthy from a younger age so that I didn’t go through the stages of hating myself and wanting to change myself. I now have to worry about trying to get myself into better shape and being more relaxed in certain situations. What are you listening to right now: Nothing, surprisingly. What’s getting on your nerves right now: Nothing. Unless I can say that not knowing what to have for lunch is driving me insane. 

About me…

Nicknames: Em, Ems, EJ, Emily-Cheeks (that’s my auntie’s special name for me, haha!). I don’t really have that many, haha. I tend to just go by Emily and then if people want to call me something, then, I’m happy with that. Relationship: Single, but mentally dating Harry Styles. :)) Zodiac sign: Aries. Pronouns: ??? Favourite TV shows: I’m currently in love with The Big Bang Theory and I’ve been watching huge amounts of The Office (The US version) and I’m about to start Tom Hardy’s new series called Taboo that’s been showing over here on the BBC for a few weeks. School: I’m currently not in school but I’m hoping to go to University next year to study Science and Forensics. Hair colour: Dirty blonde.  Long or short hair: Short. I used to have insanely long hair but it got too damaged and therefore I’m onto short, shoulder-length hair. Do I have a crush on someone: Nope. What do you like about yourself: I’m quite funny and I have a pretty decent sense of humour so that gets me a long way, I suppose. I’m very welcoming and I don’t judge people unless I need to do so. 

Firsts…

First surgery ever: I’ve luckily never had to have surgery. First piercing: I don’t have any piercings; I’m such a wuss, I know. First sport you joined: I did a Rounders club when I was back in school but I don’t really enjoy doing sports that much. First vacation: Greece, Santorini. I think I was 8? First pair of trainers/sneakers: A pair of baby pink Reeboks.

Right now…

Eating: Nothing but I’m going to head down and make myself a sandwich shortly, I think. Drinking: Water. Listening to: Nothing. Waiting for: Dunkirk. I’m literally going insane at how slow these months are going. :((( Wanting kids: Not at this particular moment in time. Career: Working in marketing for my dad’s company.

Romantic stuff…

Lips or eyes: Eyes. They hold a lot of stories behind them and they’re the place to find many emotional gestures. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I’m not one for mega displays of affection. Shorter or taller: Taller. Older or younger: It honestly wouldn’t bother me; as long as the age-gap wasn’t a huge number. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantically spontaneous. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive with a little loudness. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship, for sure. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, yeah. I’m not huge on troublemakers.

Have you ever…

Kissed a stranger: Nope. Drank hard liquor: No. Lost glasses or contacts: Oh, my god. All the time. It sucks when you lose your glasses and without them, your eyesight is so terrible that you can’t find them. I’ve sat on my a few too many times because I’m clumsy. Been arrested: Not at all. Turned someone down: Yes. Cried when someone died: I cry at many sad things so you can imagine how much of a bawling mess I would be. Fallen for a friend: Nope.

Do you believe…

In yourself: I try too. Miracles: I suppose it varies on the situations. Love at first sight: I do and I don’t but it’s pretty tough to explain. Santa Claus: Nope. Kiss on the first date: It’s a sweet gesture so sure.

[deepinthehorrors]

So...about what the fuck Ouija Experiment

Um, so yeah. I’ve been working on this one for a while, It’s the first found footage horror I picked, and I picked it at random, but my god, I fucked up. Where do I start??

*two tokes and a beer later*

Ok, let’s begin. FIRST! Let me break down our five main characters

Brandon: A rude motherfucker with a camera who’s idea this all was and constantly gets on everyone’s nerves. He has no redeemable qualities and although he starts and documents the movie, he isn’t really the main character.

Michael: Acts like a neurotic asshole sometimes, a playful jackass other times, and completely bland everywhere In between and he’s our sorta actual main character?

Calvin: The most stereotypical narcissistic black guy it’s ever been my displeasure to see in a horror movie. A man who lies to get women in bed, uses them for favors and cheats on them. (Fuck this guy)

Shay: A rich dumb blonde stereotype who somehow got stuck in an Asian girl’s body, and is dating Calvin…and being used for her money by Calvin…and being cheated on by Calvin. (Fuck that guy)

Lynette : A stereotypical sassy, don’t play that shit black girl, to an insulting degree. For the most part she’s playful and thoughtful yet still is utter redickulous in her dumb moments, she’s also Calvin’s sister. (Fuck her brother)

So the movie is about fuckwad Brandon trying to film some supernatural shit for some film class shit. So he gets shay to get her boyfriend calvin to call his best friend mike to come to his house and film some spooky shit.

Before they set up the OUIJA EXPERIMENT they do little mini interviews that basically tell you what I did about the main characters without my filthy language….boring. That is all.

So immediately Mike starts getting on Brandon’s about sticking a camera in his face and not filming when they start using the board….like really bro? Tha fuck is up with that? You have invited a film student to your home for a OUIJA EXPERIMENT and you expect him NOT to film that shit? That’s your fuckin fault for not getting info from any of those people Brandon had to go through to get to you!! Dick!

Mike lays out the rules for ouijaing and explains that the most important rule is to say goodbye to send spirits away. So Apparently the board is like a portal or stargate or some shit? Lynette immediately says “fuck this shit I’m out!” But they pull her back. Let her go! She’s the closest to being likeable in this whole thing!!

Anywho when they start playing Branfucker sets the camera up to record it, (I dunno how he dose this without anyone noticing) and they start communicating with some from beeeyoooond the graaaaaaave……until Calvin’s phone rings and he gets up. He just gets up and takes the call, like he was just chillin and not talkin to a ghost. This redickulous dicking fuck dick puts a fuckin ghost on hold to talk to his side bitch? His girlfriend is at the table!

You wanna know what Brandon does? Follows him and sticks a camera in his face……leave the board and the supernatural phenom happening, the thing he came there to fucking do, leaves it to film Calvin on the phone with some ho???

Are you wondering how it gets better? You want some more? Ya thirsty boys? Ya hungry girls? Want something fucking great? Well to top off the torrent of insanity; Shay, who’s just now suspicious of Calvin, asks the board who he’s talking to….and it answers her.

She uses a supernatural Ouija board to find out if her boyfriend is cheating. And, I dunno what to say to that except…….sounds legit??

It’s unbelievable how little fucks anyone gives to the fact that they are talking to a spirit, and she’s more interested bout some bitch on the phone with her mans? Tha fucks? I think the only reason the spirit answered her is because she’s probably thinking “well if they don’t care why should I? Yeah your boyfriend put his dick in that girl on the phone, now let me be dead bitches”

So yeah, Shay and Calvin dead leave to argue or some shit and Mike and Brandon keep playing, getting a message to go to the bedroom. Lynette is the only one who’s actually unnerved by this message while the other two resolve to investigate on their own.

So at the mention of splitting up, Lynette dead says “y'all gonna split up and leave me alone? This is the part where the black girl dies cuz the two white people left? I’m goin’ with you!” and as stupid a line as that was, the cadence and energy she said it with was genuine…and a little funny.(forgive me my sins)

So back to big black hole of ass, who somehow resolved his shit with Shay, is in the very next scene trying to secretly record him and her having sex so he can put it online………

Now let me repeat that, cuz it bares repeating. This fuckboy, after cheating on his girlfriend and somehow making up with her, tries to convince her to have sex with him so he can secretly film it and put it online!

Ok, you know how offensive it is to women when they’re overly sexualized for no reason, have vapid or shallow characters and are only there to look good? Well here is the male equivalent, and I am offended. I can’t believe I’m saying this given my own ethnic background but fuck it, I hope this black guy DIES first. I hope he suffers. It would please me if he did. This schovanistic, masogonstic, alpha-male bullshit testosterone sucking pathetic excuse for a man should not be allowed to exist in there world or ours!

So back to Lynette and Mike who have relocated to Brandon’s place to get more Ouija info….for some reason. Wasn’t it Mike who had the Ouija board knowledge earlier? shouldn’t he know? This scene just drops a bunch of stupid ass references to internet celebrities and Daniel Tosh for whatever reason. (Does he know about this movie??) and outside of a light chuckle I got from Mike and Lynette annoying the shit outta Brandon (like he does to everyone else) the scene goes no where and does nothing.

So Mike Brandon and Lynette assemble again to play some more Ouija. Is Brandon out to make this an anthology movie? Cuz the plot is serpentining all over the place. Anywho guess who pops in to join the fun? Yay Shay! Oh wait, no…no she only there to ask more questions about her cheating fucker boyfriend.

Does she not get that he’s an asshole without supernatural guidance? You know with all the typical stereotypes shown, it’s funny that the Asian girl is as far away from any Asian stereotype as possible. I mean come on the board basically tells her the obvious “Bitch what did I say about his dick and other women’s vaginas? It’s in them, all the time! Stop asking me!”

She immediately has a conniption and ends up making everyone chase after her. She ends up at Lynette’s house much to her annoyance and I don’t know why she even let her in. That’s her brother’s girl, ain’t her responsibility. And Lynette has the attitude of “bitch why the fuck you crying on my couch?”

Wait, but they didn’t say goodbye to the board! *gasp* the portal is still open! Uh, so can they die now?

I mean shortly after Mike starts hearing noises and shit, but nothing of substance was shown. Then Shay hears noises at Lynette’s place, sees a 2 second faint image of a person, and then nothing of substance happens.

Oh wow, they went back to play Ouija part 3! I wouldn’t have seen that coming. I mean they can still say goodbye and close the ouijagate right? Fuckin right!?!? So Calvin comes thru to bitch out Mike about telling Shay that he’s a ho, and Doesn’t believe that the board told her. How do you not believe in the board that fucking channeled spirits? There’s footage! Witnesses! One of which is your own sister! What’s your deal you ass among men?!?! 

 After stealing the board and preventing them from saying goodbye, again, her proceeds to record himself using it to prove to Mike it’s not real and because of that brings one of the spirits to his house. And that fucker is pissed! “You doubt me son? You testing me?this is OUIJA’S house now! Fwaachaa!” Then she snaps his neck……Thankfully…..blessedly, Calvin dies. Gloria en excelsia deo. Blessed be the meek, for this pompous ass is dead. 

So get this, and you’re gonna love it, Shay calls Calvin and the ghost girl answers….. 

Shay:hey Calvin, I know you cheated on me used me for sex and money, but I still love you and want you back! 

Ghost:*grooooooan* 

Shay:oh you must be that bitch he cheated with, fuck you calvin’s mine!

Ghost:grrraaaall? 

Shay:that’s it! I’m coming over there! *click* 

Ghost:da fuck? 

Then she goes over and a possessed Calvin eats her face…. 

So I literally thought the movie wasn’t taking itself seriously and maybe I was taking it too seriously. But as Mike search for info on the ghosts we get some relevant info. To see who the ghosts once were you have a flashback/vision of the past where we see a mother killing her daughter and then blaming the murder on her mentally handicapped neighbor, then shooting him, then cutting her own throat……..DARK! What the fuck is this heavy shit doing here? Not only that, but the acting in this Segment is leagues above the main cast. So much it’s uncomfortable. Like comparing IT to fatal attraction.

So Brandon ends up his head cut off and I’m a little confused, cuz he didn’t even play son. Tha fuck? Was it just cuz he was there? Cuz he filmed? I mean I hated his dumb ass but still, reasons? Explanations? So they have to burn the ouija board to close the stargate,(makes sense) and the ghosts try to stop them. So in the struggle Mike our mainish character dies…off screen, and becomes a floating ghost camera. The end. 

 So in the end is there a single thing redeemable about this abomination of all that is good in horror? Yeah, there is.(I threw up in my mouth just typing that) But nah son, there is something well done, some of the scares are well done! Seriously! They did the lighting right, the scares were subtle and eye catching, and most of them weren’t jump scares or cg. I actually flinched a couple times! The problem is without characters to be invested in, or a story that draws you in the actual horror element is lost. I can’t suggest it unless you’re a seeker of shit. But if you do, I made a drinking game to help get you through!

[oldguardaudio]

World Markets – Schools – Financial outlooks- Trump goes it alone

Trump – my turn

If Trump cured cancer

45th President of The United States Donald Trump wins HoaxAndChange.com

    This is a great read!!!  Just wish the American people understood this.  Trump does and does his best to correct the problems without any Dem support and in some cases no support either from some Rep..  If he loses the next election, we all had better started looking for a remote island to get away from the insanity. Prophet of doom maybe, but a realist for sure.

  For the past ten months we have been deluged by opinions about inverted yield curves. Some recent research was done that shows that as rates dropped, there was a rush to refi, and that means prepay mortgages.  That means institutions holding mortgage backed bonds were left with unbalanced portfolios, and had to buy other new hedges, or new bonds of longer duration in order to better match the duration of their liabilities to pay pensions or annuities.  That was triggered in most cases by algorithms that manage the portfolio balance. That triggers buying large quantities of longer dated bonds including ten and thirty year maturities as the cash from prepayments rolls in. One expert postulated that rates  would be as much as 25BP higher if it were not for the rush of institutional investment to reinvest proceeds from prepaid bonds as rates declined, thereby triggering more ten and thirty year bond buying. Bottom line, don’t take the inversion as a clear sign of pending recession. It might be partially due to technical factors driven by algorithms.

  In another study covering whether it is best to float or fix, they concluded several things. Ignore economists’ predictions of rates. They are mostly wrong. In fact, most bond traders, and other pundits, are wrong if they try to predict rates over the next 5 years. Old time bond traders from Solomon Bros days mostly said trying to predict where rates will be over several years is usually a losing exercise. We have seen this to be true over the recent periods. So as a general rule, when rates are very low, as now, fix, and when rates are high and rising stay floating, and over time the net cost of interest will be lower than if you fix at high points and pay the premium that long term fixed carries over floating. If you fix when rates go high thinking you will protect from even higher rates, you will likely make the wrong decision. There has been extensive long term research to show this. It pays, if you float, to examine if a good hedging strategy is needed, and at what strike price. I am not an interest rate expert, nor very knowledgeable about hedging, so go to a good firm that does those things for specific advice. Just keep in mind that when a bank sells you a cap or hedge, they are trying to make a profit on that trade, so it is best to go to an independent firm that does interest rate management, and let then help you decide, and then let them buy the hedge for you. It will normally be less costly and will be documented better for you.

  What to make of Brexit now is another impossible exercise. Johnson has lost control of events. Johnson was right to threaten the EU with a hard Brexit, but Parliament, like Congress had no understanding of how to negotiate  these things. Parliament made a mess of this, again. I thought nobody was more stupid than the US congress, but now I think Parliament has surpassed us. The deal May struck was terrible, and what Johnson was attempting to do was materially improve it to  make it the Brexit that people voted for.  By trying to force another 3 month delay, Parliament told the EU, just stand firm, and it is OK to screw us. Similar to what the Dems are trying to with Iran negotiations, USMCA, and the border. It is now unclear if Brexit ever happens, given that the deal on the table was rejected three times, but now the EU has no reason to agree to any changes. It is clear now that the UK is a mess, and it is not going to get better for quite a while. In the US, since there is no longer any bipartisanship, Trump has to go it alone. If he let the Dems have their way we would be back to the terrible Iran deal Obama made, and the bad NAFTA deal, and the Iranians, Putin and Chinese would run all over us, as they did with Obama. The world would be much worse off. Just look at Micron trying to help Iran cheat and get $15 billion cash so they agree to comply with what they already agreed to do, and nothing more. How stupid is that. Macron acts just as Obama did, so the Iranians can continue to pay Hezbollah and Hamas, and support attacks on Israel, and the Saudis. Macron is who the liberals want as part of the US negotiating team with XI, along with others from the EU. It demonstrates how weak the EU really is. I am sure Putin is noting all this. They have the same issues in Britain as we do- a legislative branch that has no clue about how to negotiate, and is trying to undercut the chief executive to the detriment of the country.

  The teachers union has now convinced virtually every Democrat governor and Mayor to stop charter schools.  None are being opened at this moment. The waiting line of minority kids to get in is very long and growing. No matter what teaching methods are introduced, including all kids having computers and online work, reading and math scores in minority schools have not improved, or have declined. More computers and more money has done nothing for the kids. They are still failing, and their futures are being sacrificed to the teachers unions and pensions. Disruptive kids are not punished now in urban schools because that is deemed to be racist and unfair. So all the kids suffer badly because learning is disrupted. Political correctness is destroying thousands of minority kids hope for a better future. Charters do not tolerate that crap.  The well run charters way out perform public schools. Until minority parents take an active interest, and demand a change of polices, and a change to non-union schools, and until the community culture of assumed failure is ended and replaced with the hard work drive for success of the Asian culture, we are going to have failing schools and a lack of opportunity for thousands of black kids.  It is not discrimination that has the Asian kids outperforming even white kids in school, and black kids being materially behind as measured by the standard tests. There is no evidence that diversity in university makes education and future success any better for anyone, and there is plenty of evidence it makes it worse for black kids who are accepted to schools where they are not qualified just to fill the black quota.

  There were 7 young black men murdered this past weekend in Chicago. 30 more were shot, in just one weekend, in just this one city. That is the same number who died in the random shooting in Odessa. There were lots more black on black murders last week in Baltimore, St Louis, Newark, LA, and other urban cities run by Democrats. Over the past 5 years there were 65 US soldiers who died in Afghanistan in combat. They kill that many young blacks in Chicago in less than two months.  Do you hear a word from any Democrat about this carnage. All you hear is attacks on Republicans and Trump over gun laws. Shooters in Chicago do not buy guns legally.  They buy them on the street where they are readily available. Yet Chicago has some of the toughest gun laws in America. So now the mayor blames the Republicans for the gun violence claiming it is because gun sales are legal in Indiana. Classic. She takes no responsibility at all, and does nothing, but blame the GOP. The real problem is the city agreed to an ACLU agreement which keeps the cops from doing their job. Now judges let them out with no bail or minor bail, so the violence continues. A step NYC has just taken to have no arrests for many misdemeanors and no bail. Congrats to the ACLU for materially increasing the number of murders and shootings in Chicago. In the past two weeks the arrest rate in NYC dropped 13% since the Pantilo decision by the commissioner. The Dems just do not get it. Giuliani showed how it is done, but the left thinks letting cops stop and frisk and take guns off the street, and be aggressive, is racist, so instead black kids die or get shot, and black neighborhoods become worse than actual war zones. And you wonder why these kids act out in school?  It is just like the school problem. Do not touch the black kids, and do not really punish them, so instead they all fail or die. That is current left wing policy at work.

        George Banks // Managing Partner// Priderock Capital Partners, LLC 525 Okeechobee Blvd. // Suite 1650 // West Palm Beach // FL // 33401 T: 561-653-9332 x222 // C: 561-379-9178 // F: 561-653-9942

World Markets – Schools – Financial outlooks- Trump goes it alone World Markets - Schools - Financial outlooks- Trump goes it alone This is a great read!!!  Just wish the American people understood this. 

[mrlnsfrt]

The Truth

It was suggested to me that we do a mini-series at our church on Jesus being the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We divided it among three speakers and I was assigned to talk about truth. I was excited about the idea, but the more I studied it, the more overwhelming it became. So here is what I decided on at the end and I hope you find this helpful.

I decided that Plato would be a good place to begin since Jesus’ audience would have been familiar with Platonism and it had a powerful influence over the early church (Neoplatonism).

Now, just a word of warning, if you are a philosopher you would probably want to argue or go more in depth here but in my defense I am simply setting the stage to the best of my understanding without majoring on minors, you can leave a comment below or click the social media hyperlinks on the top right of this page if you would like to discuss Greek philosophy in greater detail. The following will be a very simple and brief reference to what I perceive to be the key ideas.

I found a neat and helpful brief summary here and I’ll share the key points below.

"Truth" lays in an abstract "Ideal".  We can apply the fundamental principles of mathematical proofs (logic) to locate the True form of these transcendent truths or Ideals.

The natural world we perceive through our senses (see, hear, touch, smell, etc.) reveals only a fallen, shadow, incomplete versions of this Ideal Truth.

The true "Forms" of natural things or of concepts exist in the way that mathematical truths or forms exist.Thus attempting to understand the Truth of things by examining the natural world is not only folly, but likely dangerously misleading.

Therefore philosophical contemplation (thinking logically) -- rather than observation -- is the road toward Truth.

All the other arts, including poetry and argumentation, only confuse us more, tricking us into believing false visions of Truth (example: we mistake what we see on the television for reality; a cunning lawyer can trick a stupid jury into believing the guilty innocent).

In a nutshell: Plato's mystical Idealism will be adopted by subsequent generations of Christians to explain the nature of God.

Along with other Neo-Platonists, Augustine will translate and transmit Plato's concept of Truth and its relationship to the natural world into Christian terms: this world is a shadow, fallen version of God's eternal Truths, and the pursuit of knowledge has damned humanity (see Genesis 3).  (Similarly, other Jewish and Muslim scholars will transmit Platonic Idealism into Judaism and Islam, both before and after Augustine).(source)

So think about Jesus’ audience as having been strongly influenced by the idea that truth can only be accessed in the mind by thinking logically and mathematically and the observation of the physical world could never lead you to it.

I once watched an interesting documentary by the BBC entitled Dangerous Knowledge. The film begins with Georg Cantor, the great mathematician whose work proved to be the foundation for much of the 20th-century mathematics. Interestingly, he believed he was God's messenger and was eventually driven insane trying to prove his theories of infinity. He tried to prove Mathematically that God existed.

Next the documentary tells the story of Ludwig Boltzmann's struggle to prove the existence of atoms and probability eventually drove him to suicide.

Kurt Gödel, the introverted confidant of Einstein, was featured next. Godel actually proved that there would always be problems which were outside human logic. Tragically his life ended in a sanatorium where he starved himself to death.

The documentary concludes with the story of Alan Turing, the great Bletchley Park code breaker, father of computer science, died trying to prove that some things are fundamentally unprovable. (source)

Apparently, though mathematics hints at the existence of God, it is impossible to fully grasp God through mathematics alone. (possible further reading in this topic here) What I take away from this is that a strictly intellectual pursuit of God will not satisfy your soul. Also, your mind might not be able to handle your pursuit.

I would like to classify what I have described above so far as a classical approach to truth. Thought the math part also has modern aspects to it. Now I would like to transition to what I would like to classify as a modern approach to truth.

Modernism (or Enlightenment Humanism)

Reason and science provide accurate, objective, reliable foundation of “knowledge”

Science is the paradigm of all true knowledge.

We can learn and eventually solve all our problems as we evolve.

My understanding of modernism is that with the advances in science and medicine and technology and industrial revolution we stopped searching for God and looked to ourselves and the physical world to find the ultimate truth and all the answers. We became our own saviors, and in the process we killed God.

My parent’s generation had a largely modern approach to God and religion. Not that they denied God but they were sure they could find the truth and they studied and debated and fought and searched for the truth. The truth was attractive, it had value, it mattered! Truth was within our grasp in the modern world. I grew up with this view in my home and in my church. We studied the Bible to find the truth and we shared the truth with others. Well, many wanted to prove to others we had the truth! And many Christians still have this approach today.

However, my generation has rejected the modern worldview and has embraced, or at least been strongly influenced by the postmodern approach to truth.

Why?

Why would my generation abandon the solid ground of objective truth? Why would we turn from scientific proof and absolute truths? Because science and religion have failed them. All that assurance of being right and having the truth did not save us. With all the advances in medicine we feel like we are sicker today then our grandparents were when they were our age. With all the machines and factories and transportation people still go hungry around the world. With all the truth we have available, horrible things still happen.

Think about this with me.

During World War 1 and 2, it was clear who the enemy was, it was clear who the good guys were. At least that generation was sure of it, there was a problem and a clear solution. A stronger and more powerful army was able to end wars and stabilize power.

Who is the enemy today? Where is the enemy? What is the best way to combat the enemy?

Do you trust your doctor to have your best interest at heart? Do you trust the church as an institution? Do you trust your government?

Do you trust what you see on the news? Do you trust what you read?

Is marriage worth it?

How can you be sure anyone actually knows anything about God?

Post-modernism has paralyzed a generation. It is hard to commit to something when I have so many questions. My generation is less interested in marriage than previous generations. Why? Many reasons, one big one is not being sure it is a good idea, or that it would work for them. My generation is seeking their truth, but we are realizing we don’t have the means by which to find it so we tippy toe around trying different truths hoping to find one that feels right, but always afraid of fully committing to something, to anything. My generation quits and moves and struggles to settle down. Every attractive truth becomes difficult at one point and we leave in search for another truth.

It is also noticeable that worldviews are changing at a faster pace. It is very difficult to set dates to these worldviews but they would last hundreds of years, and now some are already saying the worldview my children will experience might already be post-postmodern. (The Death of Postmodernism And Beyond)

Now that I might have completely confused or bored you, what role does Jesus have in all this?

I would argue that the ultimate truth, or God, or what is good, right, beautiful, cannot be grasped by pure logic, or abstract or theoretical thinking. Similarly all that can be known of God cannot be found in a test-tube. Science and logic have not been able to grasp God, nor have science and reason been able to completely disprove God. Yet the search for God has not gone away. Though we see the challenges with our search for truth, running away from it has not solved our problems either, but rather it has led to new problems.

Depression is on the rise in the United States, according to researchers at Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health and the CUNY Graduate School of Public Health and Health Policy. From 2005 to 2015, depression rose significantly among Americans age 12 and older with the most rapid increases seen in young people. The findings appear online in the journal Psychological Medicine. - ScienceDaily.com

When we are feeling down. When everything seems to be going wrong. When you are experiencing pain. When you don’t know whether to go all in or jump ship. You need a source of truth. You can deny it, you can argue against it, you can stomp your feet and throw a tantrum. But in the end you know you need truth.

When you realize your spouse is less the perfect, do you jump ship? What if the love died?

What about when your character is being tested, and cheating seems like a great idea?

What about when you’re so busy you just don’t have time for God, family, and health?

How do you orient your life? You need truth. Undeniable, beyond a shadow of doubt truth. Where do you find this truth?

Does it even exist?

Yes.

Truth is alive and just as powerful as ever.

As a matter of fact the truth will not only give you direction, it will challenge you and push you, and drive you, and rescue you and transform every area of your life.

How do I know?

Because I have experienced it. Because I have studied it. I have tested it and I have witnessed it all over the world. I may not know much, but I do know this.

Jesus is the truth.

And if that is not enough, Jesus loves you, He died for you and He is coming again so that He can be with you forever.

That is as true as anything can be in all of reality.

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. - John 14:1-6 NKJV

Let’s address a few important things regarding the truth.

Sanctification

In John 17 we find Jesus praying. As Jesus prays for His disciples He asks the father to “Sanctify them by the truth;” Then Jesus adds “your word is truth.” (John 17:17) It is interesting that according to John 1 Jesus is the Word of God made flesh. So the word of God is the truth and necessary for our sanctification. This means the truth is not something you simply understand of accept but rather something you need to be exposed to daily. You need a personal relationship with Jesus and your regular interactions with Him slowly and continually set you apart unto Him according to His purpose for your life. So a personal relationship with Jesus, with the Word of God, changes who we are, shaping our character and every aspect of our life.

Freedom

One thing we really value in America is freedom. Jesus says that the truth sets us free.

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” - John 8:31-32 NKJV

According to Jesus the truth will set you free. But in order to know the truth you need to be a true disciple, and only those who abide, continue, remain, hold on to, live out, His word. Jesus sets you free, but you must have a personal ongoing relationship. I am not talking about brunch once a week or a call or quick message when trouble comes, but an ongoing healthy relationship. If you have a hard time thinking about having a relationship with truth, then think about having a relationship with Jesus, who loves you and wants to save you and bless you and develop you and use you in a mighty way. Stop thinking about truth as a purely intellectual venture. It must be a relational, living experience.

The Future

Many are anxious about the future. The truth can help you with that as well. Jesus said:

However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. - John 16:14 NKJV

There are things Jesus wants us to know, but we are not ready for it. However, the Holy Spirit is able to guide us into those things, He will guide us into all truth. All truth was revealed in Jesus but we are not able to grasp all of it on our own. We need the help of the Holy Spirit, and as He reveals to us a clearer understanding of who Jesus is, we will also understand what is about to happen. Our anxiety will melt away as we see the future in Jesus’ hands and how everything will be okay in the end.

Truth in action

John writes to us saying

My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. - 1 John 3:18 NKJV

The truth should also shape our lives. Our walk with Jesus should not be about just spouting theological truths or religious dogma, but rather a practical approach to life. It is easy to talk love, but it is important to live it, to live out truth. If you wonder what that looks like it means we are called to live our lives as Jesus lived His.

Worship

Finally, Truth/Jesus, is an integral part of worship.

God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” - John 4:24 NKJV

Sometimes we may be tempted to yield truth as a sword and attack others and I hope that realizing that Jesus is the embodiment of truth and being familiar with His example and how He lived His life will help us realize what worship ought to look like. I believe that keeping Jesus at the core of our worship, and being full of the Holy Spirit will allow us to experience true worship.

[mayardsale]

When the doorbell rang, I thought nothing of it. We often had food delivered since neither one of us liked to cook. Wilson usually ordered online before he got home, so I assumed we'd be having Thai or Indian. I was still a little homesick so I typically ordered pizza, burgers or burritos. But as Wilson jumped from his desk to get the door, he casually asked, "What did you order?" My heart skipped a beat as he opened the door to our apartment. I just had a funny feeling. "Hello!" was the choreographed greeting we received from the hallway. Holding what looked to be a bottle of wine, the man was tall and thin with a shaved head and glasses. Clearly the creative type, the name on his t-shirt was either a band or a grocery store. I wasn't cool enough to know the difference. But the clean white t-shirt did little to cover the tattoos that extended all the way to his hands. In contrast, her only visible tattoo was on her hand - a quote of some sort. Her ultra plain grey skirt and white button up blouse were not hiding her creative spirit, as her bouncy curls tried their best to cover her black rimmed glasses and nose ring. Expecting some sort of house warming conversation, Wilson immediately welcomed them through the door. "We're the Smiths," said the husband with a deep, sinful voice. "We wanted to ask a favor." As he spoke Mrs. Smith couldn't take her smile off of me. It was as if we knew each other. But typically, you recognize someone's face and can't make the rest of the connection. With Mrs. Smith it was the opposite vibe. I understood there was a connection, but I didn't recognize her face. "Uhhhh, shoot?" Wilson asked as Mr. Smith handed him the bottle of vintage Cabernet. At this point, Wilson got the vibe that this wasn't a generic introduction, so he tensed up. As relaxed as the Smith's were, Wilson was as confused as I was. We shrugged at each other as we collectively thought of reasons why we couldn't watch their cat or get their boxes while they were on vacation. "We live across the street," Mrs. Smith calmly said as though she was beginning to explain their request. Her smile, was still targeted on me and then I realized that her explanation was complete. And then she looked over my shoulder through our living room window. My heart skipped another beat. "Shall we pour some glasses," I interrupted to give myself time to catch my breath. "This way," Wilson offered as he did his best to follow my newly found hostess setting. We hardly ever had company over because we were that annoying couple that only spent time with each other. Equally jealous, we found each other to be more than enough. We had friends and family, but we were the reason the term 'pair bond' existed. Or so we thought. As I rushed the bottle from Mr. Smith's hands I tried not feel the connection that was growing mightily within me. As I raced to the kitchen to welcome them into our apartment, I wanted nothing more than for them to leave. "Across the street?" Wilson, asked as he offered seats to our guests. But they were too absorbed with the view out of our window. When we first moved into the apartment we worried about the six or seven buildings all within each other's view. We installed curtains but we never really used them except for those summer mornings when the sun baked our apartment. The view from the 17th floor was amazing during sunset because you could see downtown and the river. The Smiths, however, weren't interested in seeing the sun set. "Do you need any help?" Mrs. Smith asked as she peaked into the kitchen to notice that I had only hidden in the kitchen. There was no corkscrew or glasses in my plans. I merely leaned against the kitchen island as I held onto my fear and embarrassment. "Which building do you live in?" Wilson asked, becoming somewhat agitated by the mysterious nature of the visit. The smile that Mrs. Smith had used as a connection moments earlier turned into a smile of solidarity. She knew I wanted the conversation to end, so she got straight to the point. "We live on the 17th floor of the Smith Tower," she explained as my husband scoped the landscape through our living room window. "During the day when I'm working from home, I can see your beautiful array of Gordon Parks photography. And at night we can see you like to watch the business news programs. Bankers, I assume?" She was right. At that point I walked out of the kitchen and stood next to Wilson, so he couldn't see my reaction. I trembled a bit, so he naturally I assumed I was terrified that they were watching us. "We swear we have not been spying on you," Mrs. Smith from the Smith Tower shared. And that's when I made the realization that their names weren't really Smith. "Knowing that we have a clear view of your life from our window," Mrs. Smith continued, "we hoped you'd have an equally clear view of our apartment." "The red wall with the blue Matisse," Mr. Smith pointed out. Wilson looked at me as I stared out of our living room window. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. "Our bold, yet menial request is this: We simply would like you to film us," Mrs. Smith said as she reached for her husband's hand. "We aren't porn stars or artists. We simply enjoying seeing ourselves. And we hoped that your appreciation for photography would be an opening to make this monumental request." As Wilson struggled to fully comprehend the ask, I quickly answered, "Of course." Wilson's eyes nearly fell out of his head. But I wanted the Smith's to leave. Quickly. "Here's my card," Mrs. Smith said as she handed me a simple white card with only an email address. "Please send us any movies or photos you create and we will be forever grateful." With that said, she took Mr. Smith by the hand and headed for our front door. Wilson followed them out as I simply stared at their apartment, finally taking a deep breath. As I heard the front door close I gathered myself to present a shocked-but-curious front. By the time Wilson returned to the living room, I was in full control again. "Should we call the police?" he whisper-shouted as he sprinted back to the living room. "They've been watching us!" "She said that they haven't," I explained as I read the email address to myself. "Let's just watch." Wilson was relieved that I was looking okay with the situation. But I wasn't. As promised, the night allowed a complete glimpse into every apartment outside of our window. The multitude of lives on display were too vast to study. The older couple with the insanely large dogs. The eastern Eoropean man with sports on 24/7. The Korean woman with the piano. There were hundreds of stories happening, but none were much more than people sitting. Eating. Waiting. Reading. Except for the Smiths. So we watched them. Not once did either of them look up to see if we were watching them. But we were. We watched them prepare dinner. We watched them talk on the phone. We watched them dance to music. We watched them watch TV. My palms sweated as we sat on our couch watching them sit on their couch. The glare from their television glistened across their ebony skin as the blue and white painting in the background flickered from the movie they were enjoying. "Are they going to get on with it or not?" Wilson complained as he got up to refill the glass of wine he'd been nursing since they'd left our apartment. So like a watched pot that was left alone, the boiling began. Promptly at 10PM Mr Smith dropped to his knees in front of the couch. Without hesitation he pulled down her tights and panties and slowly buried his head in her overgrown bush. Her hands dove into his shirt as she lifted her legs to her sides. Within seconds I could feel myself getting wet. "Holy shit!" Wilson shouted as he entered the room. Whether it was the act itself or the fact that you could see so clearly into their living room, Wilson was clearly impressed. And soon mesmerized. Mrs. Smith had her feet arched onto Mr. Smith's back as he gripped her thighs. His head bobbed in and out as her curls bounced slowly. My hand wandered toward Wilson's mouth. I stuck my finger in it and pulled him down onto the couch. I stood up beside the couch and he immediately pulled down my shorts and panties. I then grabbed my phone from our glass coffee table and straddled my shaved pussy on his face. As I found the record button on my phone, Wilson's tongue found my clit. I could feel my pussy melting all over Wilson's face the same way I could see the glisten on Mr. Smith's face. I sat as still as possible so I wouldn't ruin the video, but I could feel both my orgasm and Mrs. Smith's orgasm rising. I knew what came next. For the past year I had the pleasure of watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith enjoy each other's company. While they had a medley of positions and places, each episode began with his mouth on her pussy until she came. Though their visit was a complete shocker, I understood why they thought the conversation would go smoother. For a year I'd watched them - through quickies and all nighters. I discovered them innocently enough one day when Wilson was traveling. I was mesmerized. But for the last six months they had watched me masturbate back at them. I'm not certain when they first discovered I was watching them, but at some point Mrs. Smith and I began masturbating together. While she obviously had informed Mr. Smith, Wilson was still in the dark. Every evening at 10PM I checked to see if I would be joining them. I suppose they could have had sex at other times in rooms whose windows faced another direction, but 10PM in our living rooms were our time. At first I'd do it while Wilson was traveling. Sometimes I'd do it while Wilson was at the gym. Or asleep. Or washing dishes. A couple of times I'd fucked Wilson while I watched them. The Smiths thought that I must have told my husband by that point. I hadn't. I couldn't. I felt as though I was cheating. I had been in a sexual relationship with a couple across the street for over a year and I didn't know who they were. I wasn't sure if it was real. But when they stood there in our apartment, I quickly realized that our connection was real - even though I didn't know their names. I don't think I would have picked them out of a line up, but I could feel my nipples rise when she handed me that card. All of those sensations erupted for people I barely knew. Yet I knew how they fucked. I knew how he liked to get behind her. I knew how she liked him to cum on her breasts. I knew how she held his head down when she was close to coming on his face. I knew he liked heels. I knew how they liked to lay in each other and talk afterwards. And I knew they never really looked at me while I participated. If they had I probably would have stopped. I didn't want to be watched. I always turned the lights low so they couldn't see me. Though they knew when I was there, they never showed me. But they made certain I could see them. Early on I noticed they would start soon after I got home. I couldn't help but look out of the window as soon as I entered the apartment. So I started settling in before I took notice. And they'd wait until I took notice to start their activities. Over time we settled into a 10PM matinee. Like clock work. So after a year of shared anonymity, they broke the fourth wall. There I was recording their love while my husband joined our party. With Wilson firmly pressed between my thighs I watched as Mrs. Smith writhed in a gentle agony as Mr. Smith's tongue massaged her pussy. Soon her legs stretched and her toes curled. As always, her cum lead to my orgasm, but this time I was over the top. I came hard. I had to stop the recording because I couldn't control myself. I worried that Wilson would flip over this situation, yet there he was gripping my breasts like he wanted this as much as I did. As my orgasm subsided I found that Mr. Smith and Wilson had the same objective. I found myself bending over the arm of the couch as Wilson got behind me. Mrs. Smith found herself on the back of her couch. I picked up the phone and started a new recording. But as Mrs. Smith bucked with an enthusiasm I hadn't seen from anyone ever in my life, I calmly enjoyed the slow thrust Wilson was giving me in order not to ruin my directorial debut. Holding my phone steady made my pussy throb more. And knowing her efforts were being recorded threw Mrs. Smith into overdrive. As her hair danced into Mr. Smith's face, I could see that her ass was getting the best of him. Wildly she bounced on his dick like a carnival ride. Holding onto the couch she fucked him like there was no tomorrow. Her head was thrown back into him as her lips whispered to the ceiling - begging him to cum. And as his face sank into her hair and his ass began to tighten, I could feel Wilson's cum filling my own pussy. I didn't know if Wilson was watching the Smith's but he was definitely feeling them. Later that night I emailed Mrs. Smith the videos that I made. Wilson was already asleep, but I stayed up to see their response. I suppose I could have looked into their apartment to see them consume their new gift, but our relationship was strictly sexual. I'm not sure how to explain it, but any other peeping would have crossed the line - felt strangely perverted. A little passed midnight I received the response I waited for. "Thank you so much," Mrs. Smith began. "The video was everything we imagined. But meeting you both in person was like stepping out of an airplane. I was so afraid of what would happen when we knocked on your door. Truth be told, that was our third attempt. We ran with our tails between our legs the first two times." I nearly fell out of my chair. "But you and your husband are such beautiful souls," the note continued. "We felt as though we were meeting old friends." I smiled as I knew what was coming next. "We'd like invite you over for dinner next week. Maybe we can show you the rest of our apartment. No one will be watching."