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exceptionimagines · 21 days ago

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Meeting and Dating Jerry Dandridge

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(The real ones know about the struggles of the meeting scenario. They also know that I'm kind of referencing the original fright night with the whole 'reincarnated lost love' thing. Also, sorry that this ones kind of horny, guess I just had that dawg in me at the time lol.)

- When you tell people you're not the type of girl to get noticed, it's not some lame attempt to garner sympathy or an admission of low self esteem. You're not pouting at them and crying out for help, begging them to tell you otherwise or to comfort you about the unfortunate state of your love life.

- No, you're simply stating a fact: one you've never really deemed as the end of the world or some egregious issue that you must work to overcome. There's nothing wrong with being the way that you are and no amount of magazines or movies or books will convince you otherwise. You've come to terms with being plain; with being easily ignored, and at this point in your life, you don't really notice it anymore.

- It's only when Jerry Dandridge moves into your neighborhood that you find yourself reconsidering this once definitive description of yourself....

- Due to your lifelong experience of being overlooked, you've grown used to interacting with everyone around you as a sort of sexless being. You don't overthink things when meeting someone for the first time, you don't try to flirt or expect them to find you so attractive that they'll have no other choice but to ask you out. No, you view yourself the same way a little old lady would, expecting people to treat you in a platonic, "well isn't she sweet" kind of way; liking your company but never considering you as an option when thinking of a potential future partner.

- It's why you're so casual when meeting your new, incredibly attractive neighbor for the first time: shaking his hand and welcoming him to the area with a polite smile instead of the lovestruck and giggly grins of the other women around you. You keep things cordial and you think nothing of it when he first starts focusing in on you, always bringing the conversation back to you as you stand amongst a couple other neighbors; the same ones who called you over to greet the man when they noticed you returning home from work.

- At first you think he's trying to be nice, that he notices you're a little reserved and wants to keep you included whenever you seem to get lost in the chaotic cacophony of voices. But then you notice that he isn't really addressing anyone else in the circle directly, that he's seemingly only interested in what you think of things and what you want to say; almost to the point where the conversation is beginning to feel like a one on one talk with spectators.

- You're not used to the attention, not used to having someone specifically drawn to you out of everyone else in an entire crowd; a crowd that includes far more conventionally attractive women than yourself. You're confused when he keeps looking at you, sharing little smiles with you while your other neighbors speak, like you're the most important one there and that he wants you to know that. Your mind races when trying to figure out why he's behaving in such a way....

- It isn't until one of the older lady's on your street nudges you and coos about you having a "new admirer" that you actually consider the idea. You brush it off at first, refusing to think that that's the case; especially when you're talking about someone like Jerry. You argue to yourself that this sort of thing doesn't happen to you, men like him don't go for women like you.... But apparently they do....

- Jerry continues to pay special attention to you, continues to seek you out even when he's certainly not hard up for choices; as though the other girls on your block aren't throwing themselves at him. When he leaves his house, he looks out for you amongst the sea of people, giving your other neighbors a small smile and nod of acknowledgement as he makes his way over to you, meeting you at your car or your mailbox and starting a conversation.

- He hops from topic to topic, anything to prolong your time with him, to give him an excuse to be closer to you, to touch you in some way. You leave your interactions with him flustered, your skin still tingling from where he held your wrist to look at your bracelet or brushed his fingers across your own when exchanging mail. You feel silly for it, feeling like you're too old for all of this giddiness, this school girl sort of crush that's making you weak in the knees and tying your stomach in knots.

- Not long after you meet him, he asks if you'd want to get together, smiling at you charmingly, a touch of shyness on his face as he glances to the ground and then back up at you. You quickly agree, faltering only a little when he chuckles and tells you that "the only problem" is that his house is still a mess from moving. You invite him over to yours and he promises to bring over some wine/beer, telling you he'll "see you then" as the two of you part ways.

- When he comes over to your place, he brandishes the alcohol with a smile, complimenting your appearance as you invite him inside; his smile growing just a tad bit more as he steps over the threshold of your doorway. He looks around, makes a joke about having you help him decorate his own home and follows you happily as you lead him into your living room.

- As your date progresses, you start to think that Jerry is the closest thing to a perfect man that you've ever met. It's like he was handcrafted with the extent purpose of making you fall for him: every little thing he says or does making you like him even more. It's like you've known him for forever and yet it still feels new and exciting.

- When you're ready to call it a night, you're ecstatic to hear him say that he had a great time, that he wants to see you again soon and that next time, he'll invite you over to his place.

- He does so not long after, meeting you at your car one evening and asking if you know anything about painting. When you give him your answer, he invites you to help him decide on a color for his walls, taking you with him to the store once you get a tour of his home, making a date out of picking out the perfect shades. You end up back at his place when you're done, drinking together and watching reality television as you roll different colors across the blank drywall of his home.

- The two of you share your first kiss that same night after he points out that you have some paint on your cheek. He reaches out, smoothing your hair from your face and swiping the fleck of color from your skin with a gentle touch, his hand lingering on your cheek as he stares down at you with an affectionate gaze. Before you know it, you're both leaning in and sharing a short and sweet kiss, smiling at each other happily once the two of you pull apart.

- It all feels too good to be true.... And maybe it is, because not long after, you notice Charley; Jerry's next door neighbor, staring at the two of you when you meet up for another date. You take in the way that he's looking at Jerry and then the way that he's looking at you, at the way he hesitates like he wants to say something. You turn to Jerry and asks what's up with the boy, to which he merely chuckles, telling you that it's nothing while he throws an arm around your shoulders, leading you inside and casting a dark glance towards the boy before he closes his door.

- The next morning, Charley knocks on your door. He tells you that there's something wrong with Jerry and that you should stay away from him. You question him, wanting to know exactly what he thinks is wrong with your boyfriend, not knowing Charley to be the type of kid to make stuff up. He finally admits that he thinks your boyfriend is a vampire and you laugh a little, thinking he's joking.

- He doesn't laugh with you though, instead, he takes his phone out and swipes through photos: photos of scrolls, and antiques, and suspicious belongings. You grow even more confused, asking where he's taken all these pictures and why he's showing you all of this ...until you're shut up by the sight of a painting, a painting of ...you.

"What is this Charley?" You ask, chuckling somewhat incredulously, weirded out and confused.

"It's Jerry's, it's in his house. Just see for yourself, y/n. You'll find it there and you'll see that I'm telling you the truth. Just be careful, alright? He's dangerous." You're baffled by his words, baffled by the entire encounter. Your neighbor has broken into your boyfriends house and found an antique painting of you, or, at the very least, someone who looks identical to you.

- You want to put the whole thing out of your mind, but you cant. You have to find out the truth, so late in the evening, you go to knock on your boyfriends door. You hesitate on his front step: moving to knock then chickening out then moving to knock again. Finally, you decide to just leave, decide that you can't do it, but before you can walk off his front step, the door behind you opens and Jerry asks if you're alright.

- You assure him that you are, telling him that you just wanted to see him and apologizing for bothering him as he shakes his head and smiles, inviting you in as you swallow down your nervousness.

- You try to act normal but you doubt that you're doing a good job, sitting stiffly on his couch while he fetches you a beer. He presses the cool glass to your temple when he comes back, the icy feeling making you flinch, tearing you from your thoughts as he asks if you're alright again. You want to confess everything, to purge yourself of your newfound worries, but instead, you ask to use his restroom, feigning being overheated like he seemed to think that you were; probably from the flush of your cheeks and/or the light sheen of nervous sweat on your forehead.

- You head towards the room you recognized from the photos, remembering it well considering the fact that you picked out the color that's seen on the wall behind the painting. It was a bare bedroom back then but it must be furnished now: furnished with shelves and trinkets and antiques. And a painting of you, framed in aged wood and sealed in yellowing varnish, standing tall against the wall, staring back at you like a mirror, right down to the last freckle and eyelash. It was obviously painted centuries ago, and yet you can almost remember the moment, as though that were even logical or possible.

- You turn to leave, knowing you don't have much time to pretend you're in the bathroom splashing a bit of water on your face or neck in order to cool down. But when you turn, you see that Jerry is already standing in the doorway, watching you as you stand paralyzed in the middle of the room. He tells you that he was worried you would pass out, chuckling almost bitterly, devoid of any cheerfulness.

"What is this Jerry?" You ask confused. You're not upset, not scared or hurt or anything, just confused; baffled.

"It's a long story," He tells you. "Much longer than you think."

- When you finally go to leave, you're somewhat in shock, mind swimming with everything you've just found out. Jerry watches you closely as he walks you to the door, trying in vain to read your expression, to try and see what you think of everything; what you think of the truth. You pause on his front step, turning back around and looking at his face, at the almost imperceptible signs of worry. You gently pull him down by the back of his neck and press a kiss to his cheek, feeling him grip you in return, hold you against him for a moment as you tell him goodnight.

- When you begin walking home, you happen a glance at the Brewster's house, your eyes catching sight of Charley as he stands at his window and watches you. You look away just as quickly as you looked towards him, suddenly feeling guilty; like you've betrayed the boy in some terrible way.

- But you just can't help it. You can't help the fact that you love him....

- Due to his ...affliction, it isn't often that you and Jerry are seen out in public together, so while he's an incredibly affectionate boyfriend, pda just isn't very commonplace. When it does occur, however; depending on your personality, you might just wish that it hadn't.... Jerry is well aware that it isn't appropriate for him to practically fornicate with you on his front lawn, but he simply doesn't care. He enjoys showing off and he enjoys seeing peoples scandalized reactions; especially when they're people who are suspicious of him.

- On that same note: Jerry is definitely a bit of an exhibitionist so you're gonna have to be okay with people seeing you in various compromising positions. Sometimes you'll be aware of it, sometimes you won't, but if you really aren't comfortable with it, he'll try to keep it to a minimum.

- Jerry is oftentimes a great example of raw, animalistic want. He's a very touchy, very affectionate, and very dominant kind of person, so don't be surprised when he's constantly wanting to be close to you. He'll wrap himself around you continuously, kissing your skin and nuzzling into your flesh. The two of you come together and pull apart like magnets, like your bodies are naturally drawn to each other, needing to glide against one another in order to survive. He's admittedly a little obsessed with you, but it's certainly not unwelcome.

- Temple and hairline kisses. He also occasionally kisses you right at your pulse point; though you should definitely make sure that you can trust him before you just let him do it.

- I firmly believe that the way Jerry kisses in the film is not just done to rub his success in Charley’s face, but because he’s genuinely just that kind of guy. When he kisses, he aims to devour you whole: kissing you like you're the only thing that can ever truly satiate him. His kisses are dominating, deep and rough and bruising, and they're always just so ...hungry. He'll oftentimes have to pull away before you're finished with him because he has to try to control himself; his fanged teeth and darkened eyes on full display as he keeps his shred of distance with a lustful smile.

- Getting hickeys from him is a very dangerous game but Jerry is always glad to be on the receiving end; probably even more than the alternative. They typically fade quite quickly due to his healing factor, but he simply uses that as an excuse for you to give him more, lounging around open shirted in hopes that you'll pounce, or teasing you about how they're starting to fade, urging you to do something about it.

- He has a slight obsession with touching your ass but you generally allow it because he lets you touch his in return. Ass smacks are a sign of affection in your household, but they're also a very dangerous game. Your boyfriend can get a little feral sometimes and your voluptuous backside has become his favorite victim.

- Laying your head in his lap as he cards his fingers through your hair. Jerry kind of likes using you as a weighted blanket so it's also quite common for you to lay across his chest, relaxing against him as he absentmindedly traces patterns on your back.

- Definitely has a habit of toying with your hair: absentmindedly twirling strands of it, brushing it back from your face, smoothing it down, etc. He isn't even shy about it, making it blatantly obvious that he enjoys what he's doing and that he see's nothing wrong with it. But it's also so ingrained in him that he doesn't even realize he's doing it sometimes.

- He calls you "bunny" a lot: "my little bunny" or "my little mouse". But he also calls you more common things like angel, baby, babe, princess, and/or honey.

- He likes pretending to be distracted by something, only to grab you and pull you down on top of him whenever you get too close. He likes the little rush of adrenaline that courses through you, feeling your heart beat wildly in your chest and/or smelling the ounce of fear that permeates the air whenever you react to the sudden "attack". It's like micro dosing a drug to him, and it's a fun way to get his hands on you.

- He finds your scent, in general, to be incredibly intoxicating. So, if you're ever wondering why he doesn't just change you right off the bat, it's probably because he doesn't want to lose your uniquely godly scent to plain old generic vampire musk. Be prepared for him to bury his face in your hair, your neck, or your clothes because it definitely happens fairly often. Depending on the day, it either relaxes or riles him up, so you might as well make a game out of guessing which one it'll be.

- You cannot be around him when you're on your period; regardless of how much he may claim otherwise. So much of his personality is animalistic and horny: if it isn't the blood that gets him going, it's the hormones, and when he says he's fine, he's lying. He's also unapologetic about being on demon hours so you can't even successfully shame him for it. Don't trust him to contain himself. Do trust him to furiously jerk it after he catches the scent of you.

- Going for night drives.

- Convenience store runs.

- Laying in the bed of his truck or sitting up on the tailgate and watching the stars. There's a lot of big deserts where the two of you live, and they're all nice and peaceful, providing a scenic atmosphere and a clear view of the unpolluted sky.

- Watching Desperate Housewives together. Jerry finds reality television to be particularly amusing: it's like modern society; particularly the parts of it that he's not able to interact with, all wrapped up in a chaotic and entertaining bow. To some extent, it's like a scientific study, but he's also just a messy bitch himself so it all appeals to him on a very deep and personal level.

- Not having many choices when thinking of date ideas because he's only able to go out at night or in indirect sunlight. You usually go to different movies, bars, carnivals, and occasionally the odd casino or club; if you're interested in that sort of thing.

- Showering/taking relaxing baths together.

- Loves when you wear his clothes.

- He literally smells so good and nothing can convince me otherwise. He talks about your scent, but his scent makes you feel like you're ovulating: out here fully ready to start mating whenever you get a hint of his cologne.

- Getting each other special and/or matching jewelry. He's literally never seen without his, and whenever the two of you are in a fight; or even breaking up, he checks to see if you're still wearing yours; thinking of it as proof that you're still at least somewhat in love with him. He's very smug about it.

- Unapologetically steals things from his victims and gives them to you. Thankfully for you, he typically spares you from the truth and tells you that he simply bought them.

- Always keeps your favorite things on hand and in stock. He survives off of beer and apples like 90% of the time, but his fridge and pantry are full of random goods, entirely because he knows that you like them. Rest assured that if you don't drink liquor, he's got at least one Snapple or water or whatever in his cooler or fridge at any given moment: and that he thinks it's cute that you're so "feminine"/innocent. He just likes looking after you without making a big deal out of it.

- Jerry; probably, literally stalked you before the two of you started dating so try not to question it when he reveals that he knows things that you've never told him before or guesses what you're going to say before you say it. He loves you enough to listen to you tell the same stories over and over again, but just know that he's already memorized every little detail of them; and that he's probably just focusing on how cute you look instead of exactly what you're saying.

- It doesn't matter if you're all dressed up and looking drop dead gorgeous, or if you're looking like you're about to drop dead: he thinks you're adorable at any given moment, and he wants you bad. He also thinks you're especially adorable whenever you're sick, but that's neither here nor there.

- He's constantly acting like your knight in shining armor, using his inhuman speed, strength, and reflexes to make up for any sort of clumsiness that you might display while being in his presence.

- Helping him with his little projects. You know, he always claims that he needs your help, but when he says that, he always just means that he wants you to sit and look pretty while he does all the work. Although that's honestly a win-win for you.

- Jerry has centuries of experience when it comes to learning the ins and outs of appliances, so you can rest assured that he can fix literally anything that you're capable of breaking. A lot of this experience comes from wanting to get the upper hand when catching "prey", but you don't have to know that: you just have to stop worrying about everything and reap the benefits of his labor.

- Making jokes about him being an old man or a cradle robber; considering the fact that he's like 400 years old. Expect him to either raise a brow at you, smirk, or make a downright sleazy comment. *cough, cough* daddy *cough, cough*.

- You can honestly get away with so much just because he likes you; even when the two of you are technically broken up. You'll literally be trying to kill him and he'll act as though you're simply being difficult, smiling at your petrified friends as he says something along the lines of "can't live with them, can't live without them". It's partially because he finds it hot that you're a worthy opponent and that you can occasionally manage to best him: thinking of it as a reason for why he loves you so much.

- You're a victim of the sassy man apocalypse. Jerry seemed like such a masculine sort of person when the two of you first started dating, so you really didn't expect him to be as unserious or as shady as he; occasionally, is. His personality can make him seem a lot less dangerous than he actually is: especially when he's mocking and teasing and making quips at people. It makes staying mad at him or serious in a situation pretty hard since he's actively just being ...kind of a little shit. He's a comedic genius, but when it's in the middle of you convincing him not to kill someone, you tend not to appreciate it.

"I repel you with Christ our lord."

"Do you? ...Really?"

- If you have pets, be prepared for them to absolutely despise him; so much so that the two of you probably have to hang out at his place almost all the time. They simply recognize that he's a dangerous creature and distrust him from the get go, growling or hissing at him before dashing away or trying to protect you. He occasionally mocks them when you're not around; playing into the legitimate rivalry that they have going on, but once he realizes how important it is to you for them to like him, he tries to bribe them into acting nicer towards him; which ends up partially working so yay.

- He can literally lift an entire car, so expect him to treat you like you weigh nothing, regardless of your actual size; especially when he's horny....

- Speaking of: he sometimes gets legitimately feral after feeding, so don't be surprised when he returns home or finds you somewhere in town and behaves as though he needs to jump you immediately; and passionately at that. One minute you'll be cooking dinner and the next, you'll be on the counter with a tongue down your throat. ...You're truly a victim.

- Sampling his blood from time to time; though it's a dangerous game: both because it's addictive and because Jerry goes feral for blood drunk you. It becomes really hard for him to control himself so it can easily lead to him actually turning you.

- Expect your boyfriend to ask for selfies whenever you text him that you're going somewhere or doing something. He gets legitimately grumpy over the fact that he can't take selfies with you. Like he lowkey sulks a little whenever he has to politely decline someone's offer to take photos of the two of you together, or when he overhears you telling your friends that he really doesn't like pictures. He just wants to take middle aged man pics with his PYT!!

- His entire phone is full of photos of you; so is his Facebook, and everyone thinks that it's absolutely adorable, calling you so lucky to have a boyfriend who loves you enough to only have photos of you on his wall. They might be a little confused, because you'd expect someone as attractive as Jerry to post himself, but they certainly don't tell you that.

- When Jerry picks you up from work; a fairly common occurrence, you always just assume that it's because he wants to be a good boyfriend and make sure you that get home safe. And while that may be the case, he also has some ulterior and self serving motives as well. Jerry; while a loving partner, is also still a monster, so when he comes to your place of employment and charms your coworkers, he's not only being friendly, but also trying to ensure that they trust him enough to let their guards down; which is especially handy when the two of you get into a fight. He also just likes flaunting your relationship and making people jealous so....

- Jerry loves you with every fiber of his being but he simply doesn't get jealous over you. A big part of it is the fact that he takes pride in having things that other people want; takes pride in winning, and he knows that none of them have even a fraction of what he does; that the two of you are made for each other. He's a very "I know she loves me" and "how could you ever think that she'd be interested in you?" kind of person.

- Regardless, he still enjoys rubbing his relationship in other people faces and passive aggressively bragging whenever he knows that someone is interested in you; or giving them a knowing look that tells them that he's well aware of their feelings for you and that he finds them very amusing. He's a smug bastard.

- It isn't often that Jerry worries about your safety, mainly because he's an immortal demon who's capable of doing terrible things in order to take care of you. But, occasionally, he'll find himself worrying about not being able to look out for you whenever you're out in the sun. To combat this, he makes sure to take care of all of your issues during the night; or makes you convert to his nocturnal schedule. You're looking at a man who can pick off half a town in a single night just because he wants to: rest assured that he's doing the utmost when faced with someone threatening your safety, comfort, or happiness in literally any way.

- Jerry always tries to stay calm whenever you're in an argument or a fight; he doesn't like losing his temper with you or making you feel hurt in any lasting way. So while he'll occasionally be a little rude or downplay your feelings, he's typically a pretty easy person to resolve an issue with. He lets you rant when you need to and listens to you be a little ridiculous at times; even if he might make a couple of incredulous faces, so you'll usually just tire yourself out to where you're ready to apologize or listen to him explain.

- Because he can occasionally downplay your feelings, you sometimes opt to give him the silent treatment, which he tolerates for a day or two before he's coming over and demanding to talk because you're "being ridiculous and you know it". He'll knock on your door and sigh, and while his apologies might occasionally sound a little insincere; very "alright, alright, I'm sorry, okay?", he usually genuinely means them; even if it's just because he doesn't like hurting your feelings or because he didn't mean for things to come out the way they did.

- He can occasionally be a little manipulative, but that's only because he really loves you and doesn't want you leaving him whenever he scares you with his vampirism or makes you question his character. He's a cold blooded killer so you'll occasionally have some differences of opinion and morality; which is when he turns on the charm and tries to sway you towards forgiving him or otherwise not breaking up with/leaving him.

- He usually tells you that he loves you in response to hearing you say it, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't genuinely mean it. He simply tends to prove his love instead of outwardly saying it; unless he wants to reassure you that he cares for you whenever you're feeling a certain type of way.

- Jerry definitely intends on turning you sometime fairly soon, wanting to spend the rest of eternity with you and guarantee your safety. It's up to you to decide whether you're interested in that. But if you really aren't, I'd suggest getting as far away from him as possible because he's definitely not against turning you "for the greater good". One day, you'll understand why he had to do it; even if it takes a little time....

#jerry dandridge imagine #jerry dandridge headcanons #jerry dandridge imagines #jerry dandridge headcanon #fright night imagine #fright night 2011 headcanons #fright night 2011 imagines #fright night 2011 headcanon #fright night 2011 imagine

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thatonesquintern13 · 8 months ago

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episode seven- somewhere only we know:

• kat in present day in white witch clothes! exciting!

• she’s gonna bring back MODERN MEDICINE!?

• that just. can’t lead to good things

• there’s a lot happening!!

• alice finally tell kat to please stay for dell, kat only focused on jacob, dell getting another mysterious phone call, everyone is leaving alice behind

• a dell racing somewhere on the horse and kat running through the woods parallel

• would be crazy if they were both going to the pond

• OH MY GOD THEYRE BOTH AT THE POND 😰

• ohp mama mad

• more importantly dell what are YOU doing

• omg the mayor called dell to complain about the founders day edition of the herald 😭😭😭

• ELLIOT TRIED HIS BEST OKAY

• alice you know you taking the blame is not better right 😭

• thank god kat is taking some responsibility

• i don’t want kat and dell to fight please 🤧

• saved by the bell - or knock rather

• sam 🙄

• ugh i hate that kat is right about keeping the jacob stuff from dell until they are for sure for sure

• sam no one wants to go to a gallery rn read a room

• “just so we’re clear, one moonlight swim doesn’t mean i want to be one of your girls” yes thank you for thinking clearly rn

• “noted. and just to be even clearer, i was asking as a friend.” no you weren’t 🤨

• back to the fighting ):

• ooh perhaps some insight to the lingermore incident?

• dell always covering for kat to keep up the reputation of the landry name is unfortunately very real.

• “you are hiding something. and i wanna know what it is.” […] “can you just trust that i know what i’m doing?” “given our history? no.” i MEAN she got you there kat

• “well maybe it’s just better for the both of us if i go” why is that always your first option! it didn’t work the first time!

• and dell is too proud to back down.

• elliot at the pond!

• “i have to go back and bring him home, alive.” i’m just not sure that’s gonna work!

• “i know. i just- i want you to be safe” he’s so worried he’s not even trying the ‘that worked so well the last time’ argument.

• elliot doesn’t think the pond will allow the modern medicine and i agree

• oh my god i thought we were gonna get a katelliot i love you. 😮‍💨

• i’ll take a good luck though

• oh look the medicine came back up

• NICK!? in the present day???? hello????

• nick taking interest in the landry’s boat. likely thing for him to do.

• “i guess that makes me sound kinda old, huh?” a little 😪

• “i have to.. get ready for school.” “on saturday?” “work!” alice please get it together

• - 1814 -

• not coyle waiting by the pond.

• he and suzanna were both kinda casual about this. not what i was expecting from 1814

• lol kat walking right past him offering help

• “i’ll take you to jacob” “how is he?” “you’ll see” okay don’t love that answer

• “goodwin has everyone in town looking for the witch who hexed him. you be safer as a man.” suzanna JUST stopped calling her clothes manly 😪

• - present day -

• LOL nick scaring elliot

• was going to say how did he get in, but port haven doesn’t give ‘lock your front door’ type of city

• oh nvm he found the spare key 🤪

• forgot nick was engaged

• nick was a genuine surprise bc they didn’t even give him a section of the previously on before the ep

• boys weekend 😀

• he’s just proud of his boy and wants to make up for missing his founders day speech 🥹

• [DAWG. i had. so much typed and i switched apps to check something and tumblr refreshed and i lost it allllll😭😭😭😭. and it’s too late tonight to go all the way back in the ep so i guess i’ll stop here and watch it all again tomorrow 🙃🙃]

• [okay it’s been a couple of days but i’m back 🤧]

• actually i think watching this section again will be fine bc i’ve probably forgotten most of what happened

• - 1814 -

• we’ve got jacob in the lighthouse

• coyle please ofc katherine knows about the trapdoor. the lighthouse is kinda her thing

• ohp. okay bye.

• oh suzanna’s there (yall. i was spelling her name right the first time, but now i’ve come too far i’m not changing it back sorry)

• i just think coyle could’ve said ‘hey i gotta stay out here but suzanna’s in there with a light dw’ or something before closing that trap door

• katzanna hug!!!

• (TWH twitter posted about kat and suzanna and all the interactions were about katzanna lmaooo)

• jacob is unwell

• yeah idk why katherine is so worried. suzanna is literally magic

• here we go again sending katherine back into the fields 😭

• - present day -

• nick and elliot at the point.

• how does seeing alice at the point not give nick even a sense of deja vu or something. like she literally looks the same !!

• “did she have a 12-year-old put this paper together?” LMAO ELLIOT TRIED OKAY ADOBE IS HARD 😭

• evelyn has been reclused since The Incident 17 years ago.

• (which means whatever happened there, alice was born a year later which is WILD)

• some more vague statements to add to the lore of lingermore.

• lingerlore, if you would.

• they keep blaming “the kids” but i have a feeling some 20somethings we know and love and their time traveling friend may have been there too 👀

• a classic rita and dell porch swing sit 😌

• “do the hinges on my barn look rusty?” is that a euphemism 🫣

• LOL WAIT rita just said the same thing

• sam horse boy CANCELLED his date with rita 😤

• “apparently he’s serious about someone and off the market” get a job!! stay away from her!!!

• he better not get between rita and dell. i need that “shut up byron!” energy back

• (where is he btw…)

• back at the coffee shop.

• ooh! asking monica about The Incident. she’s messy she’ll tell us

• oof even former nemesis monica isn’t ratting on what kat someone did that night

• cool guy!

• “did you know anything about that party? lingermore, 2007?” “well i was one in 2007, so no.” oh!

• don’t encourage breaking and entering, cool guy (although technically no breaking if you have the key…)

• - 1814 -

• (i mostly remember my thoughts during this scene but i’ll be pretending they are new 😁)

• “do you even know what you’re doing?” “i know every inch of these woods.” that’s not what she asked coyle that’s two different things

• water hemlock feels like a surprise tool that’s gonna help us later…

• “you think that i’m actually a witch?” girl yes you jumped into a pond and didn’t come back for two days 😭

• DON’T put you hand over her mouth to shush her 😤 only suzanna is allowed to do that

• the witch hunters are coming

• i don’t love this trope-y ‘we both fell and now our faces are really close’ thing that’s happening here 🤨

• “when we find the witch, we’ll have ourselves a little bonfire” i TOLD YOU they would burn you at the stake, katherine

• you better BACK those lips up actually

• “i’m not a witch. i’m a time traveler” you see how that’s not better right 😭

• coyle is right to laugh that’s a ridiculous thing to say

• “don’t you want to know what happens in the future?” “fine. go on then.” “i probably shouldn’t. just for your sake.” “are you always this confounding or is it something i bring out in you?”* no, believe it or not she’s always like this 😪

• *in any other circumstance, that line would eat but i can’t be on board with this sorry

• “if you’re from the future like you say, there’s only one thing i’d like to know. who wins this blasted war?” if it was me i’d have to be like ‘aha ha funny story…. i actually don’t know. i’ll have to google that 😁’

• i should google it anyways bc what do you mean it ends in a draw 😭

• - present day -

• nick elliot dell !!

• nick interested in buying the boat. likely thing for him to be

• “you’d like to have that old thing?” “she deserves to be restored and brought back to life.” okay symbolism and metaphor

• man elliot can’t fix an engine can’t design a newspaper 😭 he’s got a lot of other great attributes i swear

• hey nick. shouldn’t you be putting your focus, time, and money, into, i don’t know? a wedding? 🤨

• sam’s here. again.

• the double take and look to dell elliot does 😭

• the herald!

• “you really looked at this layout and thought, ‘yep, this is ready to go out into the world’?” CAN THEY LIVE

• alice at the microfiche. likely place for her to be

• listen if they don’t want alice snooping they should just. answer her questions directly instead of being weird about it!

• “if something so bad did happen then how did it not make the news?” she’s right bc they once ran a story about a big cucumber

• “where’s the fire, nancy drew?” is that a saying? 😭😂

• physical archives! ofc!

• the story was pulled (probably bc dell threatened some people 👀)

• ooh photo negatives

• do they even know what those are 😪

• they’re holding them up to the light like they do. so i guess they’re safe for now

• close face trope strikes again

• hey isn’t cool guy already 18 🤨📸

• (i’m so sorry cool guy i really can’t remember your name rn…)

• - 1814 -

• thomas coyle: lighthouse keeping age. 🤧

• “so smuggling doesn’t pay the bills? 😬” humbled real quick

• jacob is stirring

• i’m so worried 1814 jacob isn’t going to remember being 8 years old with a sister in 1999 and kat is going to have to face the fact that he isn’t her jacob anymore ):

• suzanna immediately reassuring katherine (and me) that jacob’s reaction is bc of his fever, not kat 🥺

• “i don’t know what to do!” chyler is so good at making those little lines hit 😮‍💨

• oof all the illegal rum… not the best time to remember why we’re here in the first place

• oh the beach scene…

• CHYLER LEIGH THE ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE!!!!!

• let’s get her an emmy fr fr

• anyways let’s go back to the top of this scene so i can give my thoughts

• okay the first time i watched this i was kinda agreeing with coyle bc yeah it’s a different time blah blah. but this would not be the first time a landry man’s name would be wrongfully sullied. and colton wasn’t a cheater, so maybe jacob isn’t a thief!

• and like do i trust the smuggler saying the smuggling wasn’t his idea??

• “he’s the reason that hidden room even exists” the room is there bc little jacob knew about it bc it was there in ‘99 bc it was built by grown jacob in 1814 who knew about it bc it was there in ‘99 i-

• “the jacob i know, he’s smart and he’s creative and he’s kind” he’s a LANDRY GODAMMIT

• “he can be all of those things and still lie and cheat and steal” men really think that huh

• “he has a responsibility to his family” “I AM HIS FAMILY” TELL EM

• “then why are you judging him so harshly.” and this is why i don’t know if i believe coyle. bc kat was so determined that colton was not cheating, but she never judged him? there’s gotta be something else going on for her not to believe there’s a reasonable explanation for whatever is happening

• idk

• “jacob is dying! and i might never get to know him and he’s not gonna know me after all this time. and i have to know him, do you understand me?” thisssss read!!!!!!! come ooon. 🥺🥺

• (also the first time i watched this ep, my little brother was home for spring break and was leaving the next day… oof it got me.)

• why is he LIFTING HER

• what is it with men thinking the ocean will fix the landry women (lowkey kind right but still)

• i thought he was gonna kiss her so i guess lifting is the better option here

• actually katherine probably really needs this big cry. and being in the arms of a hot guy with an old timey accent doesn’t hurt either.

• [this is where i lost my notes last time!]

• AH sam jumpscare ( - present day - )

• not dinner and a fire dell get UP

• oh sam has daughters

• am i being too bitter about sam? maybe. but it’s fun.

• did i compare him to miguel from this is us or was that byron…. either way.

• bc we’re humanizing him with all this “i met somebody really special, right here, and i don’t want her to think she’s just one of many”

• let’s not forget that he dated rita first. where are your girl code ethics delly

• that’s right let him down easy

• “i’m just enjoying getting to know my neighbor” shut up

• (this is so out of character for me bc i’m number one hags in love advocate but sorry i’m not over the death of colton landry yet! it’s only been 25 years!)

• boys weekend ending the same way sam and dell’s night did we love a platonic firepit chat

• (but really we do. need to be outside by a fire IMMEDIATELY)

• “sore-ry” canadian 🫵🏽

• rip claire and nick we hardly knew ye 😪 (ship name click how could he let that go!)

• elliot’s/evan’s little “no!” was so cute.

• hmm someone who lives on a boat is not ideal husband material????? 🤨 i’ll keep my thoughts to myself but iykyk

• “maybe sometimes love just isn’t enough” woah woah woah lets not get crazy here, guys. they needed this boys weekend for real 🤧

• - 1814 -

• *opens on katherine beach bonfire* ‘oh everybody is at a fi-’ *coyle walks up* ‘everybody is at a platonic fire tonight’

• “what if i never get the chance to really know him” you do know him, katherine. i promise

• “i’ve lost two brothers” okay well it’s not a contest

• “losing jacob would be like losing a third” we’re humanizing him now too!?

• “how could i be so close, yet so far?” “jacob once asked me that very same question” yep yep yep

• “about the stars” oh we are back on track baby!!

• “i told him the distance, whether it’s from stars or from people, is not the thing to worry about. worry when you can’t find them at all. […] don’t lose sight of those stars just yet.” okay he got me. beautiful line 😭

• - present day -

• oh cool guys name is noah! how could i forget

• [also just said, ‘noah? i hardly know ‘er!’ and made myself giggle so. that’s where i am.]

• wow going “old school” with a phone call how 2000s of her

• god alice this voicemail is going from bad to worse quit while you’re barely ahead

• yep ofc you sent the message instead of deleting it. (how does one delete a voicemail not that i’d ever leave one but)

• LOL NICK JUST STANDING THERE ON THE BOAT 🧍🏼

• again how does he not realize his alice is this alice. she’s exactly the same.

• - 1814 -

• suzanna watching over her landrys 🥹

• sleeping on the floor in 1814 is not going to be good for katherine’s back.

• h a n d s

• see coyle was working with suzanna’s father and then tried to BRIBE her after he died to keep the business going! how am i supposed to believe jacob did this on his own

• also suzanna is not safe here! these men just want to use her!

• jacob is coughing? choking? seizing? hard to say but something is happening!

• and not even suzanna knows how to help him 😰

• JACOB TO THE POND!?

• “it doesn’t matter what happens to me.” i mean i think it matters a little bit….

• also what a cop out ‘wHaT iF tHeY cAtCh uS?’o kay be better at sneaking???

• YEAH forgot about your DAUGHTER 🤨

• a lot of touchy feely going on here that i don’t love….

• pete’a there are horses he’a 😧

• i know he’s telling her to go back to the cellar so she’s not seen by goodwin’s men but i still don’t trust him

• “just promise me that you’ll be careful” “now what fun would that be?” i don’t trust him but damn he’s good

• - present day -

• the point!

• oh no. rita. please don’t break my besties up

• please!! leave the newspaper alone i can’t keep defending them 😭

• hey why didn’t they ask kacey to help they literally WORKED at the herald. 🙃

• sam is here

• wait rita is taking this surprisingly well.

• she even got me kicking my feet twirling my hair i love besties!!!!

• and dell is 🤏🏽 this big 🤭

• “well if nothing else, he’s got great taste in women” IKTR

• “i am more than okay with this” well i’m not! almost caught me monologuing 😤

• not the coffee shop hard launch please the herald will be badly printing you two on the front page by tomorrow morning!!!!

• actually yes string this man along and get free labor out of him

• omg the colton fakeout

• yeah girl that’s your GUILT 🤧

• ITS ONLY BEEN 25 YEARS DELLY

• back to present day nick and alice

• “i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” felt

• i don’t know where i thought the engine of a boat would be but i was wrong

• “you’ve got plenty of time to figure it all out” “it’s funny bc time never really seems to be on my side. ever.” okay no one told you to fall for someone in 1999 in fact, they told you specifically not to 😭

• “i always seem to fall for the ones i can’t actually be with.” “trust me, i know how what that feels like, especially at your age” wow they really were the greatest story that could never be told ):

• “if you think someone’s worth it, tell them how you feel. there’s no point in hiding it” AND COOL GUY PULLS UP??? okayyyyy

• the worth it look 🥺🥺🥺

• alice actually happy COMING 🔜

• well. until we figure out the lingermore thing…..

• - 1814 -

• i don’t believe goodwin is smart enough to think about the lighthouse. someone must’ve told him 🤨

• jacob is literally fighting for his life 🤧 this wouldn’t have been a problem if coyle had stopped yappin and helped them take jacob to the pond like katherine wanted

• katzanna crumbs 🤌🏽

• how big is the inside of a light house… there’s a lot of stomping up there. all the stairs probably?

• a GUN SHOT !? 😨

• forgot suzanna had a knife. all katherine has is like 30 bottles of rum

• i mean ofc it’s thomas. i wasn’t worried about that.

• but what was the gun shot about???? that’s kinda suspicious right???

• like let’s make them think we fought and i shot you 🤨

• mmm “cyrus giving the all clear” likely story

• “we’re all safe” well except for jacob. who is dying.

• - present day -

• noah said lemme run to bestbuy right quick and get a scanner

• “the program’s pretty simple” well that’s what we said about adobe and now no one will let them live that down

• wait a BOY in your ROOM, alice!? 😟

• doors open tho ✋🏽

• “music?” “sure! any requests?” “no, just hit play. let’s see what you’re listening to” OKAYYYY that would work on me 🫣

• also so mortifying.

• I WANT IT THAT WAY LMAO

• she’s not like other girls she’s quirky she loves late 90s early 2000s music bc she was there

• can’t lie that’s exactly the kind of song that would come up if i just hit play

• what are the chances cool guy knows all the words bc of that brooklyn 99 cold open

• “my mom’s a superfan” making alice feel like the crypt keeper here

• 🎶now number five🎶

• LMAO WAIT THE “PROGRAM” IS LITERALLY STILL ADOBE

• they’re really gonna have a ‘number five killed my brother. oh god i forgot about that’ moment with these pictures aren’t they

• oh no dell’s home she gonna be mad at alice

• ‘uh grandma we weren’t ALONE my former boyfriend nick was literally outside the whole time???’

• “good news i got the engine running” and there’s the wrap up of that metaphor

• whatever let’s move on

• dell’s not selling the boat !! take THAT

• tell me why is still playing in the background and i can’t decide if it’s funnier if it’s non-diegetic and they just wanted us to have a nice bop for this, or if it’s diegetic and alice is just playing her music that loud

• LOL she’s just playing her music that loud 😭😭😭

• ‘uh grandma we weren’t ALONE my former boyfriend nick was literally outside the whole time and my window was open???’

• “is that alice singing?” oh my god is he gonna recognize her

• i’ve been saying it this whole time but the moment it’s actually a possibility i literally gasped out loud

• “isn’t she something?” “unforgettable” NICK

• omg omg.

• KISSING

• IN THE BED ROOM

• YOU’RE GONNA GIVE YOUR GRANDMOTHER A HEART ATTACK oh okay she didn’t come in

• oh cool guy is sorry…. but he has a reason. a reason we will not know bc the pictures are ready 😁

• “wait is that blood” the lingerlore plot THICKENS

• number five killed my brother fr

• blood! and a mask! a different one from earlier!

• GLASSES!? ELLIOT!?

• what happened to baby elliot 😭 what did kat dooooo

• there goes present day elliot and his time jump journal of LIES again

• “how can i face alice again, if she ever comes back?!?!” baby elliot what did YOU do

• “i broke-” I BROKE WHAT WHAT DID YOU BREAK a promise? a heart? a name? 😨

• - 1814 -

• “jacob, please don’t go. we’re supposed to be a team, remember?” THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR OLDER SISTERS WITH YOUNGER BROTHERS 😭😭

• chyler singing!!!!

• IS SHE SINGING DELL AND COLTONS SONG ARE YOU KIDDING ME

• HE’S REMEMBERING

• HE’S GONNA BE SO UPSET THAT COLTON IS DEAD OH MY GOD

• “kat?” AHHHHHH

• fin.

📺: the way home - season two

season one recap 🩵

episode one - the space between:

• watching the ‘previously on’ like i didn’t just spend the week recapping it

• thought this was jacob and dell but it’s just another little boy and older lady

• “it will always take you where you need to go.” 👀

• picking up where season one left off. kat and dell were literally JUST healing and now where back to murder boarding

• oh we’re just immediately jumping into the FROZEN pond

• it didn’t work!

• kat you know that’s not how it works !! just get out before you freeze!!!

• oh god now alice is in the pond

• and YEAH we’re BENEATH THE ICE

• ALICE

• KAT DONT YOU KNOW CPR

• CHEST COMPRESSIONS

• oh god alice is back okay

• so much just happened oh my god

• a note for kat on elliot’s door ):

• me and elliot squabbin the next time i see him 😤

• (did anyone else’s school use the word squab around like 2015?? 2016??)

• “if i’ve learned anything these last few months it’s the worst thing to waste is time.” i gUESS!

• now how can a dog time travel 😭 the pond is SICK for that

• “the pond is done with us, allie. we have to be done with it.” we’ll see

• they’re making a pact to stay in the present

• time jump! seven months laterrrr

• hello?? DECODE PARAMORE?!?!

• and kat is jogging through the woods like is this twilight???

• passed elliot’s (still empty) house. hayley williams is right, how did we get here 😭

• ofc kat is listening to decode she’s an emo millennial

• if you think about it this kinda is like twilight. she’s gonna jump off a cliff next probably

• dell landry: bee keeping age!!!

• where’d the horse come from? 🤨

• “hey, boy. who are you?” oh so neither of us know okay

• oh! it’s the last day of school!

• not spencer from school pulling up

• and maybe zoe from school? hard to say

• alice is leaving!? oh going to the states with brady

• “that’s the thing about shared custody, eventually you have to share.” rip /:

• ugh r*chel mention

• “i am screening your next guy! these last two, they’ve been so very disappointing.” LAST TWO!?

• oh she meant brady and elliot 😂

• “brady only disappointed in the later years. we don’t.. we don’t talk about elliot.” yeah still too soon formerly nemesis monica

• lol so new guy leaves (suspiciously 🤨) and kat is like “okay fiiine i’ll take over the herald and hire myself back!! if i must!!!”

• and good for her!

• oh someone’s died 😰

• evelyn goodwin??

• oldest member of the most prestigious (and wealthiest) family in port haven. an institution, dell says!

• linger?more?

• oh elliot has the AUDACITY to send post cards 😤

• yeah, alice you’re right to roll your eyes at him!!

• we’re getting so much landry lore!

• but also more evidence for my jacob is his own ancestor theory

• the landrys were a founding family of port haven with the aforementioned goodwins

• dell talking about HAPPY MEMORIES OF COLTON!!!! 🥹

• we’re throwing a summer partyyyy

• landry ladies kitchen dancing 🥹

• ruined! by brady calling 😤

• oh so kat and alice are on the same wavelength as me. no wonder kat knows so much about her great great whoevers

• they stuck to their word, no pond!

• “yeah, well. elliot’s not around anymore to give us those pearls of wisdom.” “when are you gonna let that go?” no, no. hold that grudge, alice.

• “elliot promised that he would always be there to help, and when we needed him the most […], he bails.” just like the avatar 😪

• can’t help but notice the herald is brighter now that new guy is gone.

• now i know brady isn’t trying to blame KAT for the shared custody thing

• are we ever gonna be introduced to rachel bc now it’s getting suspicious

• “alice is no distraction, she’s the glue” she really is huh 😭

• ooooh evelyn goodwin put the herald in her will???

• kat is going to ✨lingermore✨

• (i’m guess that’s the goodwin estate?)

• “no wonder you turned the herald into a weekly, you’re always here” okay dell kinda ate with that one 😭

• “i’m going up the hill” me: kate bush?

•but also: *eerie music change* “i’m going with you.”

• okay now i’m scared of lingermore

• oh something has Happened here…

• sorry, evelyn saved everything to open a museum and her son was just like “eh oh well. gonna sell.” ??? hate men.

• oooh but now the herald gets it all!!

• now kat has the entire history of port haven at her fingertips! finding jacob has literally never been easier.

• oh something Sinister has Happened here… 😰

• alice! step away from that pond! you promised your mother!!

• oh she’s just coming to say goodbye ):

• girl back up that’s literally how you fell in the first time!!

• oh it’s LITERALLY how she fell in the first time? the bracelet hello???

• i do enjoy that when i gasp now it’s actually stuff i am surprised about

• is dell gonna have flashbacks of her own of this place now?

• she’s just sad about evelyn ):

• you know. this was kinda how dell’s future was looking before kat and alice showed up…

• yeah how is kat supposed to get all these boxes back to the herald

• UM

• why’s this portrait look just like kat 😀

• “MY KATHERINE, 1814” HELLO

• what did evelyn know 👀

• aww the jewelry dish

• we are immediately back to kat and alice keeping secrets from each other 🫠

• she’s a runna she’s a track star 🏃🏻‍♀️

• oh! note’s gone from the door! is elliot back???

• omg he’s back

• “well kat landry!” “oh… elliot augustine…” okayyyy

•god, kat might as well have just said “you look hot” that would’ve been less embarrassing 😭

• (and he does, she was right.)

• why is elliot being weird

• wait. just realized this man LEFT in the MIDDLE OF THE SCHOOL YEAR??? elliot there’s a TEACHER SHORT- wait they’re canadian…. is there a canadian teacher shortage??

• um but still. in the middle of the year, dawg??

• okay elliot when have you ever “imposed” on the landrys be so for real

• omg kat get up girl you are not playing it cool rn

• “i will never understand why she took elliot’s travels so hard” bc they’re besties??? (also bc that’s her stepdad but we apparently are keeping that a secret)

• dell didn’t notice that kat and alice were literally time traveling but she DID clock kat and elliot and that is, once again, so southern of her.

• “i haven’t seen you wear the bracelet in forever! i was beginning to think you lost it.” hehe about that…

• no actually WHY is elliot so… off i’m starting to not trust this… like go back to the caribbean if you’re gonna be like this

• “somebody had a glow up.” lmao rita!!

• “looks like elliot had what the kids call a hot boy summer” RITA!!!

• oh so alice didn’t know about katelliot and is really just mad bc elliot is her bestie!!!

• “and besides, there is no us, really. right?” ELLIOT YOU’RE THE BIGGEST DUMB DUMB THERE IS

• fumbled the bag

• he didn’t even say GOODBYE!? god what is with these men

• “great party, dell.” 😭😂

• “you better get out there and get a lobster before rita pilfers them all” lol okay great callback

• “[the farm] will always be here waiting for you.” 🥹

• fireworks for colton 😭😭😭😭

• flashbacks for everyone 🥺

• i miss colton landry

• ugh how long are kat and elliot going to pretend they don’t love each other

• alice is connecting dots

• colton and baby elliot 🥺 the club house is always there for him to have a space 😭

• “don’t waste any time, kid. because it’s never guaranteed.” and elliot thought that was a joke?? i-

• *branch snaps* “did you hear that?” WHO CAME BACK 🫵🏽

• “i saw that look between you and elliot. are you two together?” alice you’re far too late

• alice you didn’t ruin anything, sweetie 😭

• kinda rude that i grew up an hour from the beach and never went to a summer bonfire beach party in high school. (i didn’t go to parties in hs who am i kidding)

• oh! we’re being haunted by our past! cool.

• an elliot mixtape!!! IN THE CLUBHOUSE

• aww elliot’s here.

• with a STRONG candian ‘sorry’

• oh they met alice after the last summer cookout… interesting

• i thought “traveling” was a euphemism. but he actually meant time traveling lol

• “i’m sorry i didn’t say goodbye. i just knew if i saw you, i wouldn’t go.” OKAY AND WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN SO BAD

• just sitting on the bed nothing crazy

• SCREAMING !!!!!

• grey’s anatomy training 😏

•making out with all for you playing in the background. gonna cry actually.

• elliot apologizing right away 😭 okay there’s the awkward guy i missed

• “i’m not your problem anymore” WHY WOULD SHE SAY THATTTTT

• ALEXA, PLAY EXHILE BY TAYLOR SWIFT

• the sad part is, they could just go right back to how they were. like elliot is so willing to be that sounding board for kat.

• but. he blew it. super hard. complete buffoonery.

• “welcome home.” damn she’s cold

• baby nick!!!

• ugh elliot was gonna make his move RIGHT before kat met brady 😭

• so i guess spencer from school and zoe from school are??? no more???

• alice is still hung up on nick 😭 girl he’s old let it gooo

• why are they making her sing rn

• now look you’ve made her get stage fright again. (it’s definitely not the ghosts of her mother’s past coming to haunt her…)

• kat and dell finally getting the mother daughter relationship they deserve??

• is the house called lingmore or lingermore… i need to look this up

• the subtitles are telling me lingermore. dell’s accent is just thick lmao

• oh! see, dell thought evelyn reminded her of herself too.

• “i wanna build back our relationship. i wanna get to know you again.” yup yup yup 🥹

• kat has also noticed that dell is talking about colton and jacob in a positive light now

• “no more regrets, only resets” dell would kill on facebook

• ugh, i know Something is going to happen and it’s gonna ruin everything we accomplished in this scene

• um why are we back at the “did you hear that” scene 😰

• WHO IS THAT!?!?? 🫵🏽

• colton???? new guy?????? JACOB!?!?!?

• oh my god

• the blurry polaroid!!

• alice and kat sharing their secrets! season of healing!

• kat don’t let her manipulate you like this!

• okay or do. whatever.

• wait elliot send that text 😭 you gotta be the one to fix this, dude.

• neighbor!? who is this man???

• they better not be trying to give dell another love interest 😤

• could be elliot’s dad tho? but i doubt it

• suspicious buyer of the neighboring farm????

• the new buyer isn’t going to lease the fields sooo what does that mean 😅

• dell is going to be losing money?

• AND WHOSE HORSE IS THIS

• don’t tell me that horse jumped in the pond 🤧

• mother daughter pond jump 🤪

• “it’ll take us where we need to go” what could go wrong! 😀

• BABY ELLIOT!?

• has present elliot been LYING to present kat this whole time??????

• if i got sent to 1814- hold up who is that

• not the gun

• HELLO

• grey’s anatomy training (dying in a horrific way)

• um. okay 😀

fin.

#the way home #hallmark #just learned that TWH fans are calling themselves PONDERERS !! i love that #they’re also calling kat x suzanna katanna but i think my name is better sorry #also learned that andi mcdowell’s daughter is jack antonoff’s wife. crazy stuff #(and like yeah they look exactly alike!)#upon the typo read through i realized that i say ‘please’ in a lot of different contexts #but i won’t be changing that

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robotrebelranch · 5 years ago

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What about Rolf or Jimmy for the character thing, please?

well i was GOING to draw but my laptop shit out on me after the last ask and now my tablet wont work :///

But anyways, why not both?? I love em both

Rolf -

favorite thing about them - His good attitude and general big brother of the cul de sac kind of vibe. Also Rolf growing sour and jaded over time appeals to me.

least favorite thing about them - Nothing, he’s perfect ❤ No seriously, I cannot think of anything that bothers me about him.

favorite line - “DO NOT FRAZZLE ROLF!” “Your garden is overgrown, and your cucumbers are soft!” “MAY SHOWER SCUM DEVOUR YOUR HEAD!” “You tickle Rolf’s radish.” “This is Rolf’s word! ...Dawg.” I’ve been thinking about “EEL WOMAN! RAISE THE JUG!” a lot lately and I don’t know why. Also I miss when Rolf would say “You crazy.” a lot.

brOTP - Big fan of when Kevin and Rolf casually hang out. From a distance Kevin seems like someone who’d think he’s too good for oddball Rolf but nope they’re best friends

OTP - Am very down for kevrolf and rolfnazz. Kevrolf because bro dude type ships are just funny to me and rolfnazz bcause he would treat her better than Kevin does. I also just like the idea of Nazz going with the one guy her age who wasn’t obsessed with her. I guess now that I think about it I like rolfnazz mostly out of spite for the other boys huh

nOTP - No strong feelings. Only times I’ve heard about Jimmy with Rolf was in a one sided Jimmy having a crush context which is fine. Don’t think Rolf would reciprocate those feelings

random headcanon - 1. I like to think Kevin helps out Rolf with his chores when Rolf’s busy as a means to still hang out with him (and an excuse to become as strong as rolf)except Kevin is terrible at any farm work especially anything animal related. At first Rolf didn’t know how to say no but after a non specific incident Rolf said nope that’s it, never help rolf again you hear me 2. Kevin and Rolf’s friendship is very on the rocks from season 5 past big picture show, in fact Rolf and Nazz almost broke off from Kevin entirely. Rolf and Nazz also kept hanging out without Kev around the events of BPS both before and after

unpopular opinion - I see Rolf referred to as the most powerful character a lot but he could be killed by Sarah dont kid urself

song i associate with them - Orange County by Dylan Kanner bcause it’s about being unsatisfied with city life

favorite picture of them - post milky rolf bcause it annoys ghostypepper

Jimmy -

favorite thing about them - Sassy little gay boy with the best lines and also had character development. Good for him

least favorite thing about them - S1 Jimmy didn’t have enough to do and I would’ve liked to see Jimmy stay more consistently competent after Ed in a Half Shell and ESPECIALLY If It Smells like an Ed but that one’s just a tiny nitpick I don’t actually care about.

favorite line - “Someone get me off this merry-go-round called life!” “Darn, my perfectly manicured nails!” “You smell suspiciously herbal fresh. Use it or lose it, missy *starts pummeling nazz*” “In a second! I’m oiling up for speed!” “If only Sarah could see how good I am at manual labor!” “*way too casually* Honest Mister, I’m just a kid, I’m broke.” “Looking for trouble? Cause I’ll flip you like an omelette!” “HOPE YOU’RE WEARING A CUP, BECAUSE YOU’RE CREME BRULEE, MISTER!” and anytime he says ‘tushie’

brOTP - Love his friendship with Sarah, wish Jimmy with Rolf and Jonny came up more though i like those combos too

OTP - Don’t really ship him with anyone but him and sarah if im forced to choose one

nOTP - VERY opposed to jimmy with any of the kankers

random headcanon - Passionate about my hc that he grows to be 6′2″ in senior year

unpopular opinion - 1. Gets too much hate 2. Whenever I see people dump on Jimmy it’s often attributed to If It Smells Like an Ed but honestly that episode was not that big a deal. Yeah he wen’t too far that’s the point but it didn’t make me hate him or anything lol

song i associate with them - yknow he looks like someone who’d have Let’s have a Kiki by the scissor sisters memorized. Would also fit Fabulous from Phineas and Ferb

favorite picture of them

#asks

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terramythos · 6 years ago

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Now that I am finally through the 12 book odyssey that was catching up/rereading the October Daye series here's a post of my general thoughts. (ADVANCED spoilers. Like I don’t hold anything back, lol).

A. Just for fun, my favorite books tended to be the ones where shit (especially Lore Shit) went down in a Really Big Way. My top 5 for that...

1. The Winter Long (#8). I don’t think you can beat this one in sheer fuckery. Two MAJOR twists that basically change everything up to this point in the series, and they’re both dropped pretty casually. One, Simon Torquill is maybe not as evil as previously thought? and is also Toby’s step-dad? Whoops? And number two-- fucking EVENING, the fucking throwaway character killed in book one-- isn’t even dead AND she’s a fucking Firstborn and also a total piece of shit. God. It was a ride re-reading book one because there are so many hints (my favorite line: “no one knew her true face” YEAH OCTOBER, YOU SURE AREN’T WRONG). I pointed it out but even the Shakespeare quotes of books 1 and 8 foreshadow this shit. That in particular was 999-level fuckery.

2. The Brightest Fell (#11). I was not expecting this book to gut punch me so hard. Like, everything goes to shit, obviously, and the consequences of that stretch well into the next book. But then to give Simon a genuine redemption arc, to invest in that so emotionally, and somehow find a way to end it in a WORSE way than him just dying? That stuck with me. I was so fucking upset I just couldn’t do anything of value for like a day. So that’s how you know it’s good I guess! :D

3. An Artificial Night (#3). God what do you even say about this one. It’s where shit really starts getting real for the whole series. It’s creepy and more fantastical than the first few books and you learn more about The Firstborn and what they’re capable of. There’s a lot that’s just viscerally traumatic too. Literal children being twisted into horrific monsters. And if I’m right, I think the whole series is going to loop back to this one in a big way. There are so many... mentions and (dare I say) hints dropping even now about Blind Michael.

4. One Salt Sea (#5). I mean, a lot of stuff happens in this one that ultimately ties into book 12, but a really major character gets killed off, Rayseline is taken out of commission, the Undersea gets introduced, and you learn what the hell is up with the Selkies. I really truly believe the epilogue chapter of this one is some of the best writing in the series, it’s so well put together and has such great beats. Idk like it was a tossup between this one and Ashes of Honor (#7), but while the latter had some of my favorite bits I think this one had a lot more.

5. Night and Silence (#12). Maybe it’s cause it’s the most recent one and the most fresh in my mind, but DAMN. Kinda like The Winter Long this one had two big twists, and while they weren’t as major they really defined the book. The whole Janet thing I really and truly did not see coming and has some BIG implications for everything we know. Amandine’s a changeling! What the fuck! Gillian being very decisively rewritten into the series (and turned into a Selkie) was ALSO not something I saw coming in any way, shape, or form. This one really fired me up wondering where things are going next.

B. I mentioned it but GOD the Simon thing made me so viscerally upset! I don’t think I’ve run into a series that approached a redemption arc that way. You take a character who’s pretty much evil, then start making it way more gray. Was he a bad guy? Yeah... but he had a reasonable motive. Is he still a bad guy? Yeah kinda, but he seems to genuinely want to change, and actually assists the heroes without ulterior motive. OK, so then he comes back a few books later as the deuteragonist and gets a whole lot of character development, and he starts to improve. You even get a concrete indicator that the horrible shit that corrupted him is going away. And then, when he ultimately reaches his goals? He’s forced to give it all away, to turn back into the monster he’d been, in order to do the right thing. Fucking unreal. I’m fully aware this is to make the whole “finding Oberon” stakes more personal but it hurt, man!

C. My vampire crack theory is pretty much dead, so rest in peace, that.

D. OK so what is with the month names? Seriously. You can explain it away a little bit with the whole “fae like to honor people but don’t like to reuse names” shit but there’s absolutely no way it’s that simple. They’re all female characters who are related, however slightly, to the Torquills. I made that observation pre-book 8, but dismissed it because Toby wasn’t technically related to them. ONLY AS OF BOOK 8 SHE IS, SO CHECKMATE. THERE’S SOMETHING HAPPENING, DAMN IT. Anyway I like making lists, so...

1. January -- January O’Leary, She’s September’s daughter, and she gets killed off in book 2. This might be enough for me to dismiss the month name thing except the epilogue of 11 brings her Back to Fucking Life, so honestly all bets are off imo, she was absolutely brought back for a reason.

2. February -- no one.. yet.

3. March -- no one.. yet.

4. April -- April O’Leary, January’s adopted daughter. She’s a cyber-Dryad and we see her perspective briefly when January gets resurrected. I’m not sure what else to say about her in relation to this?

5. May -- May Daye, October’s blood clone (basically). I mean, her whole existence is pretty weird. You could make the argument her name is just a coincidence (she was once a night haunt named Mai), but there’s absolutely no way I’m buying that.

6. June -- no one.. yet.

7. July -- Gillian Marks-Daye. October’s daughter. I mean. I was going to say “no one”, but she just got decisively re-written into the series. “Gillian” is the feminine form of “Julius”. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be the dark-horse contender for this slot. No way that’s a coincidence.

8. August -- August...Torquill? She’s Simon’s biological daughter and Toby’s half-sister, so.... She was ALSO introduced pretty late, unlike most of these entries, so I am still convinced this is A Thing.

9. September -- September Torquill. She’s Simon and Sylvester’s sister. Also like, decisively dead I think. She hasn’t shown up in the main series (only mentioned), but I think she shows up more in the short stories? I don’t know enough about her to say much.

10. October -- October “Toby” Daye. Like. That’s the name of the series. She’s the main protagonist, dawg. She’s Simon’s step-daughter. What more do you want from me.

11. November -- no one.. yet.

12. December -- no one.. yet.

E. So where is the series going? Obviously next book is about The Luidaeg finally calling in the Selkies’ blood debt or whatever, which we knew was coming for a long time. But #12 just made that way more personal with the whole Gillian thing. I have no idea what’s going to happen with that. Beyond that? There are some loose ends here and there, but the big thing is Oberon coming back. That’s pretty much a given. If I’m right, I think the consequences of Book 3 are going to start showing soon, but idk if it will be in relation to that or not. I’m sure she can come up with way more to put into the series (maybe a book around Toby and Tybalt getting married? SOMETHING THAT EXPLAINS THE MONTH NAMES???), but that’s all that’s really evident to me.

F. So, the characters. They’re probably my favorite bit of the series. The Luidaeg and Tybalt are undoubtedly my faves, but I’ve really enjoyed seeing how Toby, Quentin, and May have grown over the course of the series. I know I mentioned this previously, but I really like how the series’ initial allies end up... not being allies, so much-- whether by getting killed off or severely disappointing Toby. Sylvester, Evening, Luna, Lily, and Connor all pretty much disappear or greatly alter their role in the story.

Yet the main cast, the “found family” the series focuses on? Pretty much none of them started out even liking each other that much. Quentin is a snotty noble kid, Tybalt is straight up an antagonist who HATES Toby, The Luidaeg is just plain terrifying, and May is some bizarre doppleganger that (seems to) randomly show up. Yet over time they’ve forged into such a strong and really likeable crew. Idk, it really gives me the feeling that it’s not just FOUND family, but EARNED family, and I really like that.

G. While we’re discussing characters, I want to talk about The Luidaeg in particular.

I think she’s probably one of my favorite characters of all time. That’s a high bar but she is just so damn INTERESTING. Morally gray for sure, but not in a traditional way.

Like, she clearly has her own agenda. She’s probably the oldest character in the series, and she’s fucking terrifying. People use her name to warn their kids at night. We see samples of her powers and the things she knows, and she’s basically a walking eldritch horror. A great deal of the series is her calling in and collecting debts from the main characters so she can use them for one purpose or another. She’s the fucking sea witch. Right?

Except... the series humanizes her so much. She is clearly kind and compassionate and does her best to hide it. While she initially intimidates the main characters, Toby gradually realizes she’s lonely and seems to enjoy their company. Every single bit of her backstory you get adds more context to her behavior. She’s protective of children because hers were slaughtered like animals. She speaks in riddles because there are so many things she’s forbidden to say. She asks for terrible prices because she HAS to help anyone who will ask her to, and there are certain things she doesn’t want to do (and often, it’s because said things would harm others). This is also why she’s so standoffish and avoidant of others-- because they take advantage of her. Despite all the horrible shit that’s happened to her, she still does her best to be kind and do the right thing. And her ultimate goal, I feel, must be a good one. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me.

There’s more. A lot of what she does is clearly calculated to achieve a particular result. She mostly shows kindness to certain members of the main cast (Toby and Quentin in particular) and very few others. It’s always interesting to see how she interacts with other characters, because it closely mirrors her initial behavior. Yet even then you see little things, like how she took in Poppy as an apprentice. One of the few times you get her perspective, it’s when she realizes Amandine is abusing and literally killing child!October, and you see how horrified she is, enough that she steps in and puts a stop to it. Does she have a use for Toby down the line? Yeah, obviously, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t do the right thing for the right reasons. I suppose it’s possible she’s just manipulating everyone, but the stories like that and her blood memories make me feel otherwise. Also, the amount of human profanity she uses is pretty funny, since so few characters use it.

Honestly this may seem like an odd comparison but she reminds me of Akane from Zero Escape. She’s playing the long con, and a lot of what she does seems strange and mysterious until you get more context. And she clearly has some ultimate goal she’s working toward (probably something to do with finding Oberon), but we won’t really know what that means until it happens. It’s probably going to be an emotional rollercoaster.

There’s more to her than that, but I find it hard to articulate. I just really like her! Pretty much every scene she shows up in is interesting, because she has intriguing lore, dialogue, or insights. She’s almost certainly a big focus in the next book and I don’t know if that means I’ll love her or hate her at the end, lol.

H. Much shorter note, but Toby/Tybalt? How DARE you make me care about a M/F ship THIS MUCH. They’re just so good. The ultimate slow burn Enemies to Grudging Allies to Friends to Lovers. It’s such a ride and a treat to read. Their early interactions are fucking hilarious on a reread. And I find myself caring so much about what happens to them.

I. I think this is my last point, but I REALLY appreciated the LGBT rep in the series. There’s obvious stuff like “all the fae are bi unless stated otherwise”, but there’s a really good amount of overt rep. May’s a lesbian, Madden’s gay, Quentin’s bi, and no one bats an eye. It’s AWESOME. Also, making Walther (a certified badass and cool character) a trans man was just wonderful. The fact that he goes on right after the reveal to do one of the biggest Lore things (curing motherfucking elf-shot) is the best. I really like Walther and we need more characters like him.

I’m probably missing SOMETHING, but idk. These were my main thoughts on the series as a whole. I’m interested to see where things go.

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lavender-annd-lilac · 2 years ago

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⚠️Reader beware, you’re in for a scare! long and pedantic ramble?⚠️

Oooooh a new chapter!!! Let’s partyyyy 🥳

your fingers pet over his luscious beard

Herbal essences commercial, we need it 🥺

“Miss, where did you get this? It isn’t your pendant,”

Wait so he knows like every piece of jewelry she owns? 🤨I can’t remember if he saw her after Ransom brought her to the castle but before she made the deal with Lance 🤔

“You can call me Aurelia.”

“The artist formerly known as y/n”

“I’m sorry, the old y/n can’t come to the phone right now…why? Oh, cause she’s dead!”

“New phone who dis”

But yaaaasss we have ONE name now, just like Cher, or Madonna! 🤩🤩🤩

You spin a few blades of straw into gold,

Dude, pretty sure she (or Lance lol) has spun like at least one full room of straw into gold? 😳😳 but I guess when you have an entire kingdom of wealth there’s not much difference

😅

Lmao I’m imagining Andy getting so worked up about the necklace bc he wants one too (also bc CE always wears that gold necklace thing haha) like, where can I get that? Urban Outfitters?

Also he’s kind of being like a jerk here? Like her “choices” aren’t even 100% her own choices she did what she had to do to survive 😭Or maybe he actually doesn’t realize how little freedom she has bc he can’t even imagine being in that scenario?

“I would rather lose my child than raise Ransom’s. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live in this castle with you, while Ransom’s spawn followed me around.

Ok but this is actually quite sad🥺 (and not to get ~political or anything, but also kind of an example of why women should be able to make their own choices about their bodies😫)

Like let’s say there was no deal with Lance and Ransom got her pregnant as a result of a non-con encounter.

😣

I totally get why she wouldn’t want “Ransom’s spawn” (lol omg) following her around as a constant reminder of her shitty circumstances, but like, obviously none of this is the baby’s fault but now it will grow up with a mom that resents the fact that she is forced to raise a child she never wanted to have on the first place 😖

You’ve tricked a faerie, Miss…Aurelia.

Did she tho? *puts on hot pink power suit like Elle Woods going into court*

She “tricked” him in the same way companies trick u into giving up personal data… yes they put it in a huge wall of text under terms and conditions which they know u prob won’t read, but technically, u did click “accept” 😐

Lance agreed to the deal as much as she did so like he had the chance to clarify or re-negotiate the deal imo.

The most you could say is that she made the deal in bad faith - ie purposely mislead Lance by casually saying her first child with Ransom instead of just her first child.

BUT, she still fully intended to fulfill the deal, it wasn’t like she said “I will give you my first child with Ransom on Feb 30th” or something where it’s literally impossible for Lance to collect his debt.

I don’t really see any “tricks” going on here, your honour. I rest my case👩‍⚖️

Lance tries to make himself appear more appealing to you. His pants had gotten lower. The deep v’s on his hips more visible. He decorated his body with golden faerie runes, and he always let his onyx wings free.

Haha this is so “male birds displaying colourful plumage to attract potential mates” with a dash of “shirtless Abercrombie male model”😂 it’s a thumbs up from me dawg 👍

A few sour deals, and we become an afterthought

I mean, I feel like he’s minimizing here and it was more than “a few” sour deals haha. It’s like the boy who cried wolf saying I only gave a couple false alarms and now I’m “untrustworthy” and “unreliable”? lmao

“We feel deeper than most creatures. It’s like a siren calling us to you. Distress, heartbreak, jealousy, vanity, greed,”

Omg he’s an actual Pokémon 😳😳😳

“Don’t speak so freely about my king. I will not warn you again to hold your tongue when speaking ill of him.”

Aurelia getting sassy!! Also like earlier when she was basically telling Andy the game plan like, here’s how it’s going to go down. YASS Queen 👸

Also, is this the first time we’re leaning the baby is a girl?

Now, help me end Ransom’s evil ways. He’s…”

Me standing up in court again

Objection! This is highly prejudicial, we ask that the remark be stricken from the record

😤

His veins once a silvery smoke, now becoming more inky

This is actually such a cool visual, I’m picturing evil!Willow from Buffy

“You can tell you were born of magic Aurelia.

Let’s dissect these next 3 sentences before we wrap up:

Born of magic =

magic in her family tree?

Born via magical c section?

Just born with magical powers like the Harry Potter?

You have the forked tongue of a faerie.

Metaphorically in a “silver tongue” sense? Or like actually she has this power?

Don’t use your twisting words to get me to do your bidding.”

This implies that she could get him to do her bidding? Like it’s in the realm of possibility?

Omg is she also like a faerie queeen???

Sorry this was so long lol 😬

Rumplestiltskin, Part 6

Summary: you learn the truth, in many different ways

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader, Lance Tucker X Reader

Rating: mild

Warnings: language, corruption, lies, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.6K

Series Masterlist

Keep reading

#andy barber #andy barber x reader #lance tucker #lance tucker x reader #multi part fic

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fuforthought · 7 years ago

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I’m watching all the Harry Potters for the first time and “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” is straight bullshit.

Firstly, you’ve got Hermione throwing her poon at Ron and he’s all like, “I’m going to go with this girl; a character we’ve only known for five minutes and who has three lines in the entire film”.

Then there’s that RANDOM AS FUCK scene with the dead spider. What was that all about? It had place in the film...at all. It felt like it was spliced in from some weird standalone Hargrid movie.

Then Harry’s like, “Oh shit, son. I found out about Horcruxes”. And Dumbledore’s all, “Yeah dawg, I know exactly where one is”. Fuck off! Harry didn’t know about them until eight seconds ago and yet you know about this crazy cave with some dark-ass potion that you’ve got to chug. Why didn’t you tell Harry about this last week?

And Dumbledore casts a motherfucking “burn the world” spell on a million water zombies. He literally sets fire to the air. And yet, twenty minutes later he’s ganked by Snape’s “abracadabra”? Get fuuuuucked. Dumbledore’s tough as shit. He’s not going to get murdered by a spell it looks like Rita Repulsa can do.

The film is called THE FUCKING HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. They build up who the half-blood prince is like it’s the most important thing in the world. And then randomly, at the end, Snape just casually says, “Yup, it’s me. Sorry not sorry”. It’s the most throwaway moment of any film. What in the name of Ron Weasley’s firey bush is a half-blood prince!? Why is the film named that when it’s obvious nobody in the actual film gives a fuck

Oh and where the shit is the Scottish Asian girl?

Then you’re going to have Harry fucking DESTROY Draco. His guts and shit are hanging out. He got straight GAFFLED by Harry’s new spell. He’s splattered on the bathroom floor. And then Snape comes along and it like, “LOL, he’s fine”. Fuck that noise. Why didn’t anyone use that dope-ass healing spell on Dumbledore?

I have loved the series so far. Genuinely. And I enjoyed this one too. But, fuck me, it got on my tits. It felt like a bunch of random scenes strung together. Scenes from about twelve different films. It felt...weird. All disjointed.

Oh well, onto the “Deathly Hallows” on Sunday.

#Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince #Harry Potter #Half Blood Prince #Dumbledore #Snape #Movies

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evenstevensranked · 8 years ago

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#53: Season 1, Episode 13 - “After Hours”

Ren is late for school and gets detention. Now the world is ending because she’s in desperate need of extra time to finish up a display for LJH’s 75th anniversary. So, with some help from Louis and a new pal from detention.. she sneaks into school at night to get it done.

This episode opens with Louis walking into Ren’s room at night, eating a chocolate bar. He asks Ren (who’s asleep) if he can use her laptop and takes a tired sigh from her as a “yes.” Pretty sure that wouldn’t hold up in court. I’m still not sure why Louis needs Ren’s laptop at 1:27AM but with most things Louis does — I’m not even gonna ask. In the process of unplugging her computer, Louis accidentally unplugs Ren’s alarm clock. Which is literally THE WORST. I hate when my alarm doesn’t go off. It’s sort of a fear of mine. So, basically I’m watching Ren live out one of my nightmares. She’s woken up by the sound of a lawnmower and she clearly suffers a “holy crap I overslept” heart attack. Again… The worst. She sees her laptop is missing and her extension cord is covered in chocolate. Which can only mean one thing… Louis.

She gets ready at the speed of light and rushes to school. When she gets there she bumps into Wexler who reminds her about the display project and she assures him she has organized everything into boxes and only needs a few hours to set it all up. I’m laughing because he mentions he’s been called out of town for “principal business” yet he has a snorkel and goggles in his bag. He quickly covers them and tries to act like it’s a “very important conference” simply because he “has to take a plane and everything!!1!” Again, Ren tells him not to worry while he’s gone. She vows to get the display done in time.

Due to Wexler’s absence, Coach Tugnut is put in charge. Ren asks why Vice Principal Mason isn’t in charge, but in Season 3 their Vice Principal is Mr. Landau. Just something I noticed. Anyway, Tugnut’s the “top dawg” and he’s on a power trip. Ren ends up being late for gym and Tugnut makes her sit the class out next to a girl who’s coloring her toenails with a crayola marker (she makes sure to say it’s “non-toxic.”) She’s obviously supposed to be an ~edgy~ trouble maker. As soon as Ren sits down, the girl introduces herself as Chloe and starts talking to her. And then… *dun, dun, duuuun* Tugnut gives them detention for “illegal use of the mouth.” Um…

Ren approaches the detention room after school that day like she’s walking to her execution. The detention monitor is an old dude who’s apparently been “asleep since 1985” according to Chloe. This guy must be a saint or something because he’s obviously dead and there’s no explanation for why he hasn’t decomposed after 16 years. Of course, the room is full of strange kids and Ren is a fish out of water. Chloe introduces Ren to everyone and suddenly Louis walks in shouting “MY PEOPLE!” and they’re all pumped to see him. Yep. Louis is Detention King. Unsurprisingly.

Louis has this awkward looking scrape on his chin. He plays it off as a “sports injury” but Ren exposes his lies and says he got it from tripping over their TV remote. I feel like they wrote this into the script because Shia actually had a scrape on his chin. It’s so random and I don’t know why they’d decide to give Louis this ugly thing on his face just to casually address it once. Plus, Shia has said before that they would write things into the script all the time (as well as ad-lib.) So, yeah. That’s what I’m betting.

Suddenly a microphone comes down from the ceiling. Louis says “Let the games begin” and within a few seconds they proceed to transform the room into a hamster race arena. I always felt like the surreal element didn’t come in until the second season… but then I remember that stuff like this happened in Season 1. I guess the show always had that element, I just prefer the episodes that don’t. Louis smells french fries which means Tugnut is on the move. They scramble to revert the classroom to the way it was.

Ren tries to show remorse to Tugnut in an attempt to get out of detention early and finish the display. But, a hamster crawls up her pant leg mid-speech and she starts screaming. For some reason, Tugnut gives Ren double detention for it and tells everyone else to leave.

After detention that day, Ren comes busting into Louis’ room and finds him applying crayola marker (that he makes sure to say is “non-toxic”) to his chest to look like hair. Is using crayola markers on your body and explicitly saying it’s non-toxic a thing that detention kids do or something? Why else have Chloe and Louis both do and say that in the same episode? Louis tells Ren that she didn’t “break the code” by telling Tugnut about the hamster race, so he offers to help her out with getting the display done. Wexler calls Ren from his important principal conference (a.k.a - a hot tub party) and is under the impression that Ren has finished the display. Now she has no choice but to go with Louis’ plan — which involves sneaking into the school at night. Couldn’t they just go on Saturday or Sunday, though? No one will be around then either, but.

“Just wanted to see how it’d look...”

Wexler’s important conference.

Louis called on Chloe for backup and she shows up whisper-yelling like “YOOU-WHOO! IS THIS WHERE THE TOP SECRET MISSION IS?!?!” Wow. Everything seems easy enough, but Tugnut is at the school rollerskating in the halls like the strange man he is. So, basically they have to spend the rest of the night making sure he doesn’t catch them. That’s really the rest of the episode. This one was/is hell for me to review for some reason because… not much happens really.

Louis brought Jumbo Size Crinkle Fries to distract Tugnut with. You know where the Faculty Sauna and the Wexlervator once were? Well this week, it’s a closet. They take a fan out from there and try to lure Tugnut to the smell of the fries. All they leave is the empty container so that he’ll have no choice but to go and get fries for himself because he’s a french fry addict apparently. And he does leave but before he goes he makes sure to turn on freaking HEAT, LIGHT, AND MOTION SENSITIVE LASERS, RIGHT IN FRONT OF REN’S DISPLAY CASE. What the heck?! What Junior High school is so important that it needs freaking lasers to keep people away? Well, Ren is storing school artifacts from the last 75 years in boxes underneath the display case. So, maybe they’re trying to protect them?! lol, it’s the only thing I can think of because there’s literally no need for this. Louis says he’s “wispy” and dances his way through the lasers. Aside from the fact that he most definitely hit a few on his way to the other side… he successfully disarms them. This whole sequence is ridiculous but I love Louis too much to care.

The Faculty Sauna, Wexlervator, Storage Closet area... lol.

Ren and Chloe get to work on the project. But, Louis decides to cool off in front of the giant fan and blows all of their materials away. This pisses me off. When Ren tells him to turn the fan off, he cranks it up accidentally. Instead of just turning the fan around, he leaves it and on stands in front of it as if that’s going to help the situation. He finally turns it around and off, but Ren is left in a mess. This gives me so much anxiety. Thankfully, Chloe suggests that they forget about making it “perfect” and just slap together some funky display instead. I can tell you right now, I am positive that it turned out a million times better than whatever Ren had originally planned. So… shout out to Chloe! It all worked out! :D Of course.

They finish and get out of there just before Tugnut returns. Tugnut is standing in the laser area, so Louis decides to sneakily turn them on before they leave. This totally could’ve killed Tugnut but he happened to be standing so that the lasers perfectly frame him. This is awful. He’s left straddling the lasers ALL WEEKEND. There’s no way. The heat and energy would’ve gotten to him and he would’ve died. Oh well.

Barbra Bushwick, a woman from the first graduating glass of LJH, is a guest at the 75th Anniversary on Monday. She compliments the display and says she loves the fact that it’s random and breaks boundaries! Ren, Louis and Chloe are all smugly proud of themselves. And that’s it.

Idk what it is, but it took FOREVER to even attempt to do this entry. I’ve been sitting here wondering why I didn’t rank this one lower… but, I just remembered that I really like seeing Louis and Ren work together. I just wish Louis had a bigger role in this episode and didn’t mess things up, haha. There’s also something I’ve always liked about being at school at night. Is that just me? Back in the day I loved going to functions at my middle school at night or on the weekends. Maybe I’m just weird. This is another episode that doesn’t have a subplot. That probably has something to do with it. I had trouble tackling Duck Soup for that reason, as well. Idk why. But, yeah. It’s a pretty simple episode. I feel like some people might find this one a little boring.

Thank you so much for reading! I desperately want… no, need… to stick to a schedule so that this can be a definite, fun weekly thing for all of us.

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