#he can’t beat the sillieness allegations

[whumpy-wyrms]

Dew’s birthday was a little while ago so i’m super late but i spent a lot of time on this (for some reason? it was supposed to be a small doodle but i went a bit overboard) and i didn’t wanna wait until i write the birthday chapter to post this sooo i’m posting it now :3

when the. when the whumper is super fucked up and fine with experimenting on the unwilling human test subject he keeps captive, but draws the line at ignoring said test subject’s birthday:

happy birthday Dew! i’m super late but whatever hehehe oops who cares

Anton’s silliness in this moment causes him to be completely unaware of Dew’s sadness distress and extreme homesickness and how much he misses his friends and wants to be celebrating with them :( but Anton at least gave him a chocolate cake so it’s fine actually :3 and lots and lots of cookies

also Dew’s hair is longer here because he’s spent like 2 and a half months in captivity without a haircut unfortunately

the snake’s name is Sasha and they will be introduced next chapter

what’s in the present? you’ll have to wait and seeee

[gojoest]

COMPETITION — gojo satoru

satoru tries to beat the bad cook allegations and win his girls back

girl dad satoru, established relationship — you’re married & have a daughter (oc), her name is sora, f! reader, reader is referred to as “mama”, mentions of food, this is a silly little thing, not proofread, wc: 1.2k

satoru can be a lot of things — the strongest sorcerer, the most loving and devoted husband, the world’s greatest dad, society’s biggest menace, and according to some “the owner of the most annoying heh”  — but there’s one thing he most definitely isn’t. a good cook.

but ever since you had a family brunch gathering at nanami’s place where the latter had singlehandedly prepared a feast, without letting his wife lift a single finger even when it came to setting the table, satoru took it upon himself to prove that he can be as good of a cook as nanami, or even better.

the way you and your five-year-old daughter, sora, looked as if you’ve just tasted heaven while savoring each bite was a blow below the belt for satoru, while the finishing one was you complimenting nanami and telling his wife how she is the luckiest woman alive to have a husband who’s so skilled and willing in the kitchen because satoru can’t even boil water — to which sora nodded in agreement, “papa really sucks in the kitchen.”

it’s been two weeks ever since and you regret ever making that snarky remark about satoru’s incompetence because you’ve been banned from the kitchen all along, not even allowed to pour yourself a glass of water — all you have to do is ask and your husband will do it for you while you sit back and watch as the state of your kitchen worsens with each passing day.

he would occasionally have sora keep him company and help him prep the ingredients, sometimes even take the first bite if the end product looks edible, but for you the kitchen was completely off limits, he’s got a point to prove — that he is the best husband and you should’ve never said those flattering words about his friend in the first place because he can’t stand it when you acknowledge in any way any other man that isn’t him.

satoru’s determination is strong. he has no intention of letting this matter go, not until he sees that same expression on you and your daughter’s face — this is his life goal right now, he cannot have his two most important girls swayed by another man’s cooking, not even if that man is nanami (and especially because it’s him).

you might be running out of usable plates and pans, as they’re either broken or burnt, but satoru is definitely making progress. all the cooking videos he’s watched and the tips he’s gotten from talking to mothers on online forums are finally paying off because today, for the first time ever, he didn’t burn the pancakes for breakfast.

“papa”, sora looks with disapproving eyes at her dad, her cheeks squished between her tiny palms as she’s leaning her elbows on the kitchen counter.

“yes, my life”, satoru crouches down to her level. even though she’s standing on the toddler step stool her head can barely reach his hips. but whenever satoru talks to her, he always, without fail, either squats down or leans forward or holds her in his arms — because in those moments it’s just him and his little princess against the world, on equal footing always so he can hear her better and never miss a single expression she makes. “what’s with that look, hm?”, he nuzzles his flour covered nose against hers, the action itself causing some of the white particles to smudge on hers too.

“the pancakes look like pancakes this time but mama will not like this mess you made, again” — the sink is filled to the brim, there’s flour and baking powder on every single surface — counter, table, chairs, floor, the butter has started melting because satoru placed it too close to the stove after using some of it, there’s eggshells on the floor — any clean freak’s biggest nightmare.

“the mess i made?”, he gasps, “aren’t you an accomplice in this, little miss?”

“no”, she flatly denies, “i only watched you and broke the eggs”

“on the floor, that is”

“it’s because you said pick three eggs while i can only carry two, look—”, she stretches her tiny hands forward, palms facing up, to prove her point, “i have only two hands and they’re not big like yours, how am i supposed to hold the third one?”

satoru chuckles at her genuinely puzzled face, “you’re right, my life”, he replies through a soft smile after taking her hands into his and peppering kisses on the inside of each, “papa didn’t consider this”

“it’s okay, papa”, sora rests her forehead against her dad’s, “i am a big girl now, i will help you clean after breakfast”

“but you’ll always be my little girl no matter how old you get”, satoru whispers softly, lifting her up with just one arm so his free hand can gently caress the back of her head as she comfortably nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck, “which is why papa will take care of it”

“but first”, he sits her on the countertop and cuts a small piece of the pancake for her to taste. “say aah”, he holds the fork to her mouth, eagerly observing every gesture on her face as she takes the bite and starts chewing. it’s definitely not the look she made while eating nanami’s cooking but she doesn’t seem to hate it either.

“papa.”

“yes, my life?”, satoru looks at her expectantly.

“can i be honest with you?”

“yes, of course you can”

“uncle nanamin does it better”, she admits to which satoru instantly deflates, “but—”

“but?”, a tiny spark of hope makes it back to his sulking eyes.

“i wouldn’t trade your pancakes for the world”

“YESSS”, satoru triumphantly pumps his fist in the air and spins around beaming with joy, “got one of my girls back on my team — now let’s hear your mother’s verdict… but hold on”, his face painted in concern again.

“hmm?”, sora questions the sudden change in his demeanor.

“sora.”, satoru speaks in a rather serious voice.

“papa?”

“you’re not saying this just because i’m your papa, right?”

“well, it’s partly because of it actually”, sora pauses for a second, trying to pick the right words before continuing, “but it’s because you put so much love and effort to make me and mama happy that it makes anything you do my favorite thing in the world, and i wouldn’t trade it for anything, papa”

“i haven’t tasted the pancakes yet but i must agree with sora on this”, your voice reaches them from behind as you stand leaning on the doorframe. you came following the sweet and warm aroma wafting through the air but found yourself accidentally eavesdropping on their little heart-to-heart talk. “you put your heart and soul for us always — aren’t we the luckiest girls in the world?”, you wink at sora and she nods.

satoru sighs in relief, “if i can’t give you the best of everything that means i am a failure both as a husband and as a father. because you two are my biggest blessing and i only live to make you happy. also — you’re still not allowed in the kitchen, so just stay there and wait for the pancakes.”

[loko4koko]

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ex-husband!Matsukawa Issei x f!reader ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

>fanart_credit: Okeidohan (via_twitter)

MDNI 18+

>word_count: 6521

>contents: angst w/ a happy ending, reader on a date with an unnamed oc, alcohol mentions (minor), mattsun being a lil cocky and a lil toxic and a lot possessive, (barely there) hanamaki cameo, brief slut-shaming(ish) moment from reader’s date, fingering (f!receiving), talks of masturbation, squirting, creampie, (minor) breeding kink, multiple orgasms, (minor) overstimulation

there were few things in this life that truly, unequivocally irritated you: traffic, gross coffee, and your ex-husband were a few of the major ones that came to mind. it’d been 8 months since you officially became a “ms.“ again and not “mrs. matsukawa,” and yet the man you’d said your vows to still managed to irk your every nerve. sending you silly memes, calling to talk about his day, offhand flirty comments in your ear like you were still together. it was all so damn maddening.

it was funny, actually, how much he continued to bother you when he was the one who wanted the divorce in the first place. it devastated you, shattered you, when it happened. no one expects for their husband to come home, sit them down and tell them, “this isn’t working anymore.” you didn’t understand at first, how he could say such a thing, when everything felt perfectly fine. but he “wasn’t truly ready” for this and he was “sorry, so sorry for hurting you.” you asked if it was a cover story- if he’d really just been cheating on you and couldn’t bring himself to tell you about his mistress, but he denied the allegations through and through. it almost made it worse, then, that it wasn’t a matter of him falling for another, but just him simply not wanting to be your husband anymore. it ruined you for months, cost you sleep and so many “sick days” from work that you’d almost lost your job. but after a while, you knew you had no choice other than to accept it, move on, get yourself back together again.

moving on is what you’re trying to do right now, actually. seated in a booth at a low lit restaurant, you laugh as the man in front of you tells some story about an outraged lunatic of a client he recently had to deal with at his job. he’s pleasant- easy on the eyes, very sweet, and a real gentleman. it’s your first date with him, your fourth since the divorce, and it was going well so far. it’d been a long time since you were on the scene, only having been married to issei for just over a year, but the two of you had dated for almost 3 before he proposed. it was difficult at first, to dip your toes back into the proverbial dating pool, but you were handling it nicely. the first few men that you’d gone out with ended up not working out, obviously- all for different reasons- but this one wasn’t too bad.

he’s pouring more sake into your glass when you see something familiar out of the corner of your eye, something that makes your heart want to choose between stopping or beating straight out of your chest. you try to calm yourself, tell your brain to stop playing tricks on you and that you’re just seeing things, but then you realize that you aren’t, that you can’t lie to yourself. there’s a mess of black hair on a tall figure, one with their back towards you only briefly before they turn around and you see a face you hadn’t quite expected to see today, let alone here in the restaurant your date chose.

it’s issei, it’s your ex-husband, it’s the man who tore your poor little heart into pieces, right in front of your eyes. you’ve never been terribly religious but you are right now, silent prayers sent up that he hadn’t noticed you- hadn’t noticed that you’re here on a date.

it’d been a few weeks since you’d seen him, when he called about some mail of yours that got sent to his home- your last address. he was as vexing as he usually was, telling you that if you’d wanted it, you’d better come get it soon before it ended up in the trash, so of course you’d hopped into your car later that evening after work. it was a dirty trick, you’d realized in retrospect. issei was an ass but he wasn’t so terrible that he’d throw your stuff away. however, he was so terrible that he’d convince you to hurry to his home under a guise so that he could (attempt to) entice you in with talks of a new bottle of sake. he was shameless, well and truly shameless, but you were unmoved, denying his offer with thanks for it, for keeping your mail out of the trash as you collected the envelopes and walked right back out.

you’re trying your best- to not alarm your date, to not draw issei’s attention, to not have a goddamn brain aneurysm. your date is asking you about your own line of work and you begin to explain, a welcome distraction from the situation at hand. you spare a glance in the direction that your ex-husband was seated- not alone but with his pink-headed best friend, another man you’ve known for too many years, and you find yourself having to look immediately in the opposite direction. issei’s looking at you, they both are, albeit with different expressions on their familiar faces. hanamaki’s is a little stunned, it seems that your look in their direction confirmed to him that it is you, but the other… the man you used to be married to has a head tilted in curiosity, eyes narrowed and a smirk on his lips that you hate to see right now. fuck. fuckfuckfuck.

you give your date a small smile, excusing yourself to the restroom as you grab your purse, willing yourself to walk as normally as you can even though you want to bolt. you’re relieved to be alone in the space, fingers gripping the edge of the sink as you stare into your own eyes. “this can’t be fucking happening..” you say to yourself, but you know that’s a falsehood to keep calm. you take a moment to breathe in deep, wet a paper towel with some cool water to dab on your neck and chest.

it’d been a few minutes and you don’t want the man you’re seated with to be concerned, so you do your best to get it together quickly and make your way back out to the dining area. only you can’t do that, because as you leave the bathroom, your exit is blocked by the lanky nuisance you call your ex-husband. you’re frozen, stopped dead in your tracks at the unexpected roadblock of a man. neither of you speak, your eyes set on his face as his own roam your figure, and you almost regret wearing a dress so formfitting, so low-cut.

“hey, babe,” issei finally says, a picture of smugness and it has your eyes rolling, moving to brush past him but no, no, he won’t let you.

“i am absolutely not doing this with you right now. what are you even doing here? what do you want?” you ask, exasperation evident in your tone.

“what, i can’t even say hi now? see you’re on a date- quite the looker, too. not as much as me, though, that’s for sure.” you’re in disbelief- real, unbridled disbelief at the man before you. there’s just no way he’s serious right now! first, he rudely blocks your path, but now he’s taken to belittling your innocent date?

“you are something else, issei,” you snort, shaking your head, “you do remember that you’re the one who wanted me to sign those papers, right? not the other way around. now if you’ll excuse me, i have a date to get back to. and don’t- don’t do anything stupid.” you slip away before he can say anything else, relaxing your face so as to not raise any questions as you sit back in your seat. you apologize for the delay, reaching for the menu and asking your date what kind of meal he plans on ordering.

an uneventful bit of time passes and you’re fine again, sharing more sake and offering food from each other’s plates to try. you almost forget about the intrusion from a little while ago, keyword there being almost. every now and then you can see issei in your peripheral vision, and damn near every time, his eyes are on you. it’s hard to ignore but you’re doing it, until the last time you look and he’s much, much closer. your eyes widen and you’re subtly shaking your head at the man, but it’s too late, his mind is made up and he approaches your table with a wink that only you can see.

“oh, hey! it’s crazy seeing you here,” issei starts, and the way your name falls from his lips is far too familiar, far too cordial for your taste. “another date already? thought we’d had a good time the other night, i know i did. i mean, we practically broke my bed frame. hey pal, just a warning but this one gets crazy in bed- a real nasty girl, i’m tellin’ ya.” your date looks absolutely appalled, scandalized even, but issei..issei is fucking beaming. there’s revulsion in your date’s eyes and you’re not sure who it’s directed to, you or the bastard that intruded so tactlessly- so offensively. it’s probably both, you think- probably disgust at his learning of your supposed promiscuity, and at issei’s attempt to give him “pointers” about things you like in the bedroom. he gives you no chance to explain, muttering to himself that he should’ve known you were a slut and he’s rising from his chair despite your pleas, your denial of issei’s words. you sadly watch him walk out of the door, and that’s it. he’s gone.

you resign yourself to a literal facepalm, tossing your cloth napkin onto the table as you stare at issei in contempt. “you have some fucking nerve. are you happy now? that i’m alone? is that what you wanted?” you don’t even give him the time to formulate a response before you’re pulling money from your wallet and placing it on the table. you’re not even sure how much the bill is, but you leave more than enough in your haste to remove yourself from this situation. you sling your purse and jacket over your arm and stomp your way out of the restaurant, trying hard to avoid the gaze of nosy onlookers as a few salted streaks leave your eyes. you stand outside, plans gone horribly awry, and your despair grows as you can’t even remember where the hell you parked your car. you realize, when you hear the sound of footsteps approaching, that you’re not alone in the chilled evening air. there’s no second thought as you whip around, black of your eyeliner smudged and wrath in your wide eyes, to see your ex-husband.

“was divorcing me not enough? was leaving me, when i wanted nothing but to be with you, to-to make it work, not fucking enough? i mean, fuck, what is this really about? if you don’t want me then no one should? it feels like you’re punishing me when i did nothing to you- nothing to deserve this. all i ever did, issei, was love you, support you, show you my devotion- and this is the thanks that i get? a divorce i didn’t want and loneliness.” you laugh sardonically, and issei sighs with a shake of his head as he steps towards you. you don’t step away, don’t retract yourself from him, acceptance of what feels like defeat unmissable in your sagged shoulders.

“i didn’t know that i’d see you here tonight- didn’t know i’d see you out with somebody else. i..cant describe the feeling i’d gotten in my stomach when i saw you with him, laughing with him like you used to laugh with me, smiling at him like you used to smile at me. nausea, i guess. jealousy- no, envy, if you really want me to be honest. i envied that man in a way i’ve never felt before.” you look up at him with red-rimmed eyes, taciturn and short-tempered as you are, but you allow him to continue. out of curiosity or something else- something deeper, you don’t know.

“the divorce- the biggest mistake i’ve ever made, was never about me not wanting you. this, tonight? this was never about me not wanting you. did i go about it the wrong way? yeah, yeah i did and i’m not proud of it. that was cruel, and i’m sorry, but i’ve been trying. maybe not hard enough, maybe not in the right ways, but, shit, i’ve been trying, baby. i’ve tried with the phone calls, i’ve tried to get you to come over and stay- just for a minute, just so i can tell you how bad i know that i fucked up. you were-you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me and i was too selfish and immature- thought that if i let you go, i wouldn’t be holding you back. but i can’t pretend anymore, i can’t lie to myself and say that i don’t want you back every fucking day that i wake up. being married to you was the best time of my life by a long shot. seeing a face this beautiful everyday, getting to laugh with you, eating every meal with you, pulling you in close when you’d steal the blankets ‘cause you were cold- you were always so cold at night- i miss it all. i miss you whenever i do anything ‘cause you were always there. you’re always a part of me, even when you’re apart from me. and i don’t want you to be apart from me anymore.”

your eyes feel heavy, almost as heavy as your heart, and you swallow thickly. his own eyes look sincere- a plea in the darkness that crushes you under its weight. there’s two parts of you- one pushing, one pulling. one that wants to leave him standing here, leave him in the emptying street just like he left you. but the other part- the stronger part, the one that loves him so intensely, that made him hot tea and soup when he was sick, that ugly-cried at his vows on your wedding day, that part wants you to stay. you stare at him for a long moment, battle between love and loathing waging inside of you.

“you’re…an idiot. you know that, right?”

issei doesn’t know whether to frown or to jump for joy. you are insulting him, sure, but you’re also still actually speaking to him. he considers it a good thing. he scratches the back of his neck, nervous huffs of laughter escaping through his nose.

“yeah, i know, babe. i’m an idiot who needs you, though.” you roll your eyes, a fond smile on your face. issei’s stepping closer to you, his large hands gentle as they wrap around your waist. it’s a strange feeling, to be held by him like this. it’s one you’d felt so many times over the years and then very suddenly not at all, not until now. you miss it.

your eyes are wide, full of hope when issei leans down, lips so close to yours. “come home,” he says softly, “need you home, need you with me.” he doesn’t give you time to answer, though, because his lips are fully on yours. he kisses you so lovingly, so longingly that it steals your breath right from your lungs. one of his hands comes up to cup the side of your face and he tilts your head just how he wants you, tongue unfaltering as it prods its way between your lips. he soaks up the way you sigh into the kiss, the way your hands find shelter on his biceps, the way you’re still as teasing as you were before- teeth catching his lip as you giggle.

you pull away from the kiss first, cheek warm against issei’s palm and you blink up at him. “take me home, ‘sei.” he grins, something triumphant in his eyes as he picks you up and tosses you over his shoulder, your laughter and shouts of protest being ignored by the tall man.

it’s only a short minute before you’re in issei’s car, on your way back to issei’s home. the ride isn’t long either, but it is full of tension. issei drives with one hand on your thigh the whole time, and when he has to stop, he’s leaning over to catch your lips again. you think this is what deja vu must feel like, because it just feels so familiar to be here- in issei’s car with his fingers splayed out on your thigh, in the driveway of a place you called home for so long. he smiles at you after he puts the car in park and takes the keys from the ignition, quickly exiting so he can open your door and usher you inside the house.

there’s a hand on your lower back as you enter the house, and the nostalgia of it all hits you harder. so many times had you come home like this after a night out, issei’s greedy hands touching you anywhere he felt like touching. those nights often ended with him between your thighs, or behind you, or- you have to blink the thought away as you feel your cheeks flushing, feel issei’s gaze on you. he sinks down to his knee, dark eyes still on yours and you gasp when he takes a hold of your calf. his fingers are reverential, worshipping as they glide across your skin to wrap around your ankle. he pulls your heel off, kisses your calf, and repeats the process on the other side. when he rises back to full height, he leaves a fleeting kiss on your lips and takes your hand, guiding you to the kitchen.

there you were, glass full of sake in hand as you sit on the counter. issei isn’t far, leaned back against the counter just to the left of you, smile on his face as he rambles tipsily. you have to admit, you’re only half paying attention, more stuck on the way that he licks his lips, the way that he cuts his eye to look over at you when he thinks you don’t notice. you sip your drink, mischievous glare behind the glass as your free hand creeps to meet his on the counter. he’s startled out of his rambling, looking down to see your hand on his, and when he looks back up at you, all he can do is grin. he sits his own glass down before stepping in front of you, hands caging you in on either side of your hips. he’s so obvious, so extraordinarily lacking in subtlety, with how his eyes linger on your plump pout, on the oh-so-perfect way your tits threaten to spill out of your dress. he ogles for a moment before he locks eyes with you again, and god, he can’t believe he let someone as beautiful as you go for even a second. the way you stare at him- so enamored and forgiving and lustful, he truly thinks it could drive a man crazy.

“‘m never lettin’ you go again, baby, never gonna fuck up that bad again,” he murmurs against your lips. your eyes slip shut and his nose nudges yours when he leans in all the way, lips gliding over each others in a kiss laden with desperation and yearning. his hands move to your hips and yours are on his shoulders, the two of you in something like a competition to see who can pull the other closer. your lips are so sweet to him, your tongue much like a lollipop that he wants to suck on all day. you’ve always tasted good, every little part of you, and issei’s been without his fill for too long now. the little sighs and soft whimpers that leave your lips are icing on the metaphorical cake that is kissing you.

“lemme make it up to you, baby,” he groans in between exchanges of saliva, “can i show you how sorry i am, hm? show you how much i missed you?”

you nod, unwilling to remove your lips from issei’s when he bites at your lip like that and it’s okay because he doesn’t need you to. his hands leave your hips in favor of sliding down your thighs, stopping when he reaches the hem of your dress. you’re a smart girl, don’t even need him to tell you to plant your hands on the counter and lift your ass and thighs up a bit so he can shove your dress up and your pretty little thong down.

the kitchen counter is cool against the skin of your thighs, a stark contrast to how warm issei’s palms are as they spread your legs apart. he separates from your mouth with a smack, gossamer strings of one another’s spit keeping you connected, and rests his forehead on yours. his fingers finally find treasure between your legs, fingertips already sticky as they sweep up and down your slit. you suck in a sharp breath, eyes not leaving his while he toys with your cunt.

“this pretty pussy still gets so wet for me. did you ever think about me? when you were with those other guys? did you get wet like this for them?” he gives you no warning as he plunges his middle and index fingers inside you, eyes squeezing closed in a long blink while your jaw falls open. he sets an unwavering pace, hand on your thigh coming up to cup your chin. his stare feels like an interrogation, so confident in his ability to pick you apart in every way possible. he’d know if you lied, could see it in your eyes and feel it with the pads of his fingers buried in your oozing cunt.

“i, f-fuck, i didn’t fuck a-anyone else, ‘sei,” you whimper, “only wanted you- only get this wet f-for you.” issei groans at your words, grip on your chin so tight as he forces you into another searing kiss. his fingers don’t slow their pace, thumb coming up to press down on your clit as his tongue rolls across yours- over your teeth and lips.

“that’s my girl. i didn’t either, baby, couldn’t even think about it. just kept fucking my fist to the thought of you, how pretty you look suckin’ me off or cummin’ on my cock.” the needy moan you let out has issei straining in his pants, and shit, is he wrecked for you already. he’s obsessed- with you and the pretty faces you make, with the way you whine his name, with how you clench and throb and gush around his fingers. he’s utterly intoxicated by every little thing that you have to offer, and he drinks it up greedily.

issei knows practically everything about you, so it’s no surprise that he remembers exactly how to find it- that cushiony little place inside you that makes you cry out when he presses against it. he’s so cruel, so abusive to your g-spot, pushing his fingers deep inside you to hit that button over and over again. he knows when you’re close, too, knows how you leak and flutter around whatever he’s got inside of you.

“‘sei, please,” you whine, voice hoarse and shaky with need. your fingernails are digging into his shoulders as he looks up from where his hand disappears inside of you to meet your eye. he steals another quick and sloppy kiss from you, hammering his fingers inside of you so hard that you can’t help your gasping moans.

“please what? you wanna cum, angel? do it then, cum all over my hand- cum for me.” he brings his free hand up to snake into your hair, gripping tight at the roots in an effort to keep your mouth from leaving his. it didn’t take long for you to fall apart, thighs spasming around his wrist and pussy spasming around his fingers as you brokenly sob his name against his lips. your chest heaves, cunt still squelching and squishing as issei slows his digits to a stop while you come down from your high.

it’s issei’s turn to moan contentedly as he slides his sticky fingers into his mouth, sucking and licking every last bit of you that coats the skin. he gives you a smile when he’s finished with his meal, and you taste yourself on his lips and tongue when he slots your mouths together again.

“gonna fuck you right here, baby, right in the kitchen like we used to,” he drawls, watching as your hands move to undo his belt and fly, “couldn’t eat in here while you were gone without thinking about how many times i’d stuffed you full right on the table.” you look up from your task to grin at him, shaking your head as you finally get the zip down.

“yeah, i couldn’t make breakfast without you waking up just to bend me over,” you snort, shoving his slacks and boxers down. his cock springs free and fuck, he’s so hard. he’s long, a little girthy with a curve to the left and the tip is blushing, leaking precum as it comes to slap against his stomach.

“shouldn’t’ve been lookin’ so goddamn good every time- bein’ a sweet little wife and cooking for me, how could i not just give you my cock?” his laughing tone is cut off with a hiss, eyes falling from yours to where your hand is wrapped around him between you. your grip is so warm on his already hot skin but he couldn’t care less, not when he’s been missing your hands on him for as long as he has. your free hand comes to mirror his earlier actions, fingers digging into his chin and jaw as you cup his face. he takes a breath before his eyes open back up and when he focuses, it’s you that’s staring up at him so amorously- so covetous in your gaze on him.

“fuck me, ‘sei. show me how much you missed me.” it’s like a switch flips in issei at your words, cravings for you back in full force as he takes your hands off of him with a strong grip on your wrists. he’s got his tongue back in your mouth in an instant, so bruising and eager as it takes in your flavors. he lifts your hands up to his shoulders in silent instruction, his own coming to grip the base of his cock in one and your hip in the other. the man is so teasing even when he’s just as insatiable as you, dragging his cock head between your folds, against your clit until you breathily plead for him. he could never deny you, not like this, so he obliges and starts the breach into your sopping pussy. he’s so slow, so careful in how he stretches you open around him that you don’t even care that your head hits the cabinet when it falls back.

“fuck, i missed you, baby. missed you and this pussy. suckin’ me in like you never want me to leave, shit,” he curses, hands tight on your hips as he begins to rock in and out of you. he loves the way you shudder and keen for him already when he’s barely given you anything yet, and if he were a better person, he’d warn you about what he’s going to give you. he isn’t, however, so he doesn’t.

issei drags his lip between his teeth as he pulls out of you, leaving only the very tip of his cock in your sweltering heat before he’s driving back into you, harder this time, faster. you wail at the abrupt change in his pace, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he sheathes himself into you on repeat. your legs are quivering around his lithe hips, panties dangling from your ankle as it bobs with the force of issei’s jackhammering thrusts into your sopping hole.

“you feel so good, baby, y’always have,” he rasps, drawing your attention back to him as you meet his gaze with lust-clouded eyes. “so stupid for me to think i could give you up, not when you’re so kind, so pretty, so fucking wet, so you.” it’s so hard to reply, so hard to do anything but moan his name as you clench your drooling cunt down on his length. he drags you to the very edge of the counter by the fat of your hips so you’re forced against his chest, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he pounds into you voraciously. his hands are rough as they slide up your thighs to grip you under the knee, keeping you spread so wide you know you’re going to feel it for at least a few days.

“couldn’t let that guy have you, baby- fuck-couldn’t let him have my wife,” his voice is husky, low in your ear when he speaks. “you belong here, at home, getting fucked dumb on my dick.” you’re trying to pay attention, really, you are; but it feels like a mission impossible to catch every word when his heavy cock lays assault on your g-spot.

“yeah, ‘m home, fuck me dumb,” you pant, nails leaving crescent shapes in the skin of issei’s neck and shoulders. it’s something you’d feel bad about if he cared- if he didn’t fuck you so full and deep and all-consuming.

the sound in the room is such a lewd combination- the slapping of skin on skin, your gasps and whines and little ‘unh unh unh’s, issei’s harsh breathing and grunts. he feels your cunt pulsing around him and he knocks into you even more crushingly than before, separating you only slightly so he can see your face.

“c’mon, baby, i can feel how close you are. lemme feel it, angel, cum on my cock,” he groans, one hand leaving its position on your leg to slip between you and rub quick, merciless circles onto your clit. you let out a long, unrestrained sob and let your head fall back again, unable to fight off the carnality of your pleasure.

“‘sei, ‘m cummingggg! fuck- i love you, love you s’ much.” your pussy is palpitating around his cock like a heart, which is entirely fitting when he’s so deep it feels like his cock is in your chest. you want to be embarrassed about how much your slick flows out of you, coating issei’s cock and the counter below you in a shiny essence, but you can’t think about it, can’t think about anything at all. your vision goes white for a moment and you’re sure that this here is what people mean when they say “rapturous.”

issei fucks you through it, keeps massaging your puffy clit with his long fingers and your hips are still jerking even after it’s over. he’s got his lips on your neck and you soon learn that he’s actually talking, when your hearing finally returns to you.

“nobody can make my wife cum like i do- know you inside and out, baby. ‘s why you belong with me, huh? belong with someone who fucks you like this,” he growls against your throat. he bites down on the sensitive flesh and you whimper, grip on him tightening as he picks you up from the back of your knees. he’s still heavy and hard inside you as he lays you onto the dining table. the way he stares down at you almost makes you want to shrink, his need to devour you and claim you so easy to spot in his features. the large hands that held you now make their way to the straps of your dress, pulling them off of your shoulders just enough that he can yank the front of your dress down. the first thing you can feel is the cold air hitting your pebbled nipples, and the second is the roughness of issei’s hands as he squeezes and tugs on the nubs, not satisfied until you pathetically whine his name.

there’s no preamble, no warning when he starts to roll his hips into yours again. he’s plowing into you so hard already that you can feel the table shaking beneath you, and you reach for him in instinct but he’s so mean, hands holding your wrists down against the table.

“want you to marry me again, baby. you gonna marry me again, right?” he questions you, eyes pinning you down with a gaze as heavy as iron. it’s a loaded question, really- you know that whether you say yes or no, he’s just going to fuck you harder. you bite your lip as his cock digs against your g-spot and decide to nod- lesser of two evils, and something you’ll think about when he isn’t kissing your womb with his fat tip.

“say it,” he groans, bending over you to nose along your throat. he maps his way up to your ear, tugging the lobe between his teeth before planting a kiss on the shell. “say it for me, baby.”

issei gives you a particularly harsh thrust- one that knocks the air out of your lungs and you sob, back arching off of the abused dining table. “‘m gonna- ah!- ‘m gonna marry you, ‘sei. wanna be your wife again,” you murmur, cock-drunk and being hurled over and over into orgasm too much for your brain to handle. issei is satisfied with it, though. he takes full height again as his heavy cock twitches inside of you and he uncurls one of his hands from yours, slipping it between you to thumb casually at your clit.

“mmh- fuck yeah, you are. yeah, you’re gonna be my wife and you’re gonna cum, right?” you hate so badly that you have to give him the satisfaction- but he’s right. you’re so close you can taste it, can feel it deep in the pit of your belly, and you need him. you nod, breathless and hazy, and he gives you a pleased little grin, circling of your clit more deliberate now. his free hand takes your leg and splays it against his chest, your ankle at his ear and he hisses as you take him so much deeper.

there’s no time to warn him before it happens, no time for words of caution because it even shocks you. the coil within you snaps, back arching as you cry so pretty for him. your hands search desperately for purchase and land on issei’s shirt, wrinkling the fabric in your fists while you sob and writhe. the flood that comes out of you is a welcome surprise to issei, who moans out an “oh, fuck” as he’s drenched in your spray of cum. everything’s so wet now, much wetter than before- so sticky when his pelvis meets your ass. he keeps driving his hips into you, keeps his rough thumb on your slippery clit and it’s all so fucking much to process.

“see, baby? nobody else can make you squirt on their fucking dick like that. you’re mine, y’were made for me. now, you’re gonna be a good girl and take my load, right?” he knows what he says might as well be rhetorical because you’re not gonna give him a true, proper answer. but he’s fine with it, as long as you keep making those pretty little noises and clenching his cock so tight like that.

issei’s close, nails digging into your thigh as he twitches inside you. his hair clings to his forehead with sweat, shirt half unbuttoned, half drenched in your juices, and he looks so debauched. and he is- has no choice but to be when it comes to you, when it comes to being inside your velvet heat that wants to wring the cum out of his cock. his breathing is picking up, little huffs of warm air hitting your leg as he ruts into you.

“f-fuck, ‘m gonna cum, baby. you still on the pill? hope not, maybe this one’ll take, huh? if not, that’s ok- i’ll just keep cumming and cumming in this tight little cunt until it does,” he grunts, head falling back and hips stuttering as he fills you with rope after rope of his hot seed. you moan with him, sensitive as you are, while he rides his orgasm out, chest heaving and thighs twitching. issei stares at you from above as he catches his breath, cock slowly softening inside of you but he doesn’t pull out yet, opting instead to drop your leg from his shoulder and back to his hip before he leans down to meld your lips with his in a tender kiss. he slips his arms underneath you, gathering you up into his hold and you gasp, startled as you’re lifted from the table.

“‘sei- what- put me down!” you whine, hissing in overstimulation at every step he takes with his semi-hard dick still inside of you. he ignores you in favor of taking you to the bedroom, dropping you on to the bed you’d once shared, except now the sheets smell only of him. you huff as you pout up at him but he just laughs, dragging his fingers up your sides.

“you didn’t think i was done with you, didya, baby? gotta show my wife just how much i missed her.” he begins to stir his hips again, somehow fully hard already, and somewhere in your mind you know that this is going to be a very, very long night.

it’s bright and warm the next day- a perfect day to move your stuff back home, issei says to you. you’re doing just that, starting simple with clearing out your closet while he does the drawers. there’s a dress in your arms that you’re about to lay out to fold when issei whistles, drawing your attention towards him. he turns to you, smirk on his face and goddamnit, you hadn’t even noticed that he went straight for your underwear drawer- but the skimpy, lavender colored g-string in his hands tells you that.

“give me those!” you scold, reaching to snatch them up but you curse him and his height as he holds them high up over your head.

“oh, absolutely not. these? these are going in my pocket so you can wear them for me tonight.” he snickers, shoving them in his pants pocket when you playfully roll your eyes and back off.

you can’t help but laugh with him, in too high of spirits to be truly annoyed with his antics, to be disgruntled with packing and moving. nothing could bother you, not now when you get to be with issei again, not when he woke you up this morning with languid kisses and whispers of how lucky he was that you wanted to be with him. starting over with him would take work, but it was work that you were both happy and willing to do for each other- for your second marriage.

>authors_note: if mattsun divorced me i would probably kms tbh 👨‍🦯 but anyways i hope u all enjoy!!

>p.s./announcement: i will be opening up for requests soon so have a look at my pinned post for more info!

>thank you for reading ♡

>masterlist.exe

© loko4koko 2023

[josephtrohman]

sorry if this is silly to ask but where did the joe bisexual talk come from?

not trying to start speculation or some shit i am just confused 😭 ik pete is the one sort of semi unconfirmed bi one but now i recently notice joe also being called bi…is it a bit? or part of a bit but also at the same time are people realizing joe has said stuff that may indicate hes queer or smth… SORRY this is stupid to ask i am just dumb

NOT SILLY TO ASK AT ALL lol it’s largely like. lighthearted based on fruity things he has said and done and i’ve compiled some things that people point out under the cut (this isn’t like meant to be real trutherism for joe being bisexual obviously it’s up to whatever the fuck he says and also not that it actually matters anyways since he’s been with one person for the last 20 years lol)

this post in particular is one i think about a lot because it’s a neat little compilation of a lot of his fruity moments lol. NEVER BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS I FEAR

having sex with multiple wo(men)

dude crushes…

looking for another moustache to kiss his moustache…in the same interview that he says being gay is fantastic? inch resting…

kissing men…(first pic iykyk)

also talking VERY enthusiastically about kissing patrick in particular lol

lewd gestures with a bottle (my gifs from here wink wonk self promo)

and then also people have dreamt about joe coming out as bi so yknow. maybe prophetic dreams, i made this in reply to one of them for funsies

lastly, since i can’t put too many clips here, my fobtwt friend richie has a great thread on joe fruity moments here.

this isn’t absolutely everything but it’s all the examples that come to mind lol

like i said this is not meant to be trutherism bc obviously it’s up to joe to determine what he is lol but i think much of his conduct points to being a kinsey 1.5 or 2 at least 😭 i always think about that post someone made (i dont rmr who rn…) that said that fob should bring back m&gs so they can hand out pamphlets on bisexuality to the guys. anyways no one be mad at me for this it’s all kind of lh and jokes and innocent etc 😇

[totallynotokguys]

Lego Monkie Kid Rewatch: Specail

Embrace Your Destiny 3/5

Last Time: Mei got monkey-napped, MK yeeted Red Son into his friend group, Macaque did not beat the theater nerd allegations, and Froggie died. Rest in peace my beautiful son.

And now- On with the show!

Wait… that guy. Is just a guy.

No seriously. He’s just a dude. You don’t realise how much this is blowing my mind! I thought this whole time it was the Jade Emperor! I thought she’d managed to do what Monkey King almost did in the Journey to the West! Defeat the Jade Emperor! 

But look at him! Look at that regular dude! How did I ever think this guy was supposed to be the head honcho of all the immortals?

Things are making so much more sense now, like why the Heavenly Realm wasn’t in an absolute panic over LBD rising again. If she only tried to wipe out an earthly kingdom I can see why no one in the Heavenly Realm bothered to aid the Wukong and Noodle gang. Besides Ne Zha. Because Ne Zha is cool.

“But you and your advisors showed me how little you care for the interests of mortals.”

“M-mortals?”

What I thought this conversation meant-

LBD: Cares about the little people.

Emperor: Completely forgot that mortals exist and doesn’t get why anyone would even bring them up.

What it really meant-

LBD: Outing herself as not human by using a term only immortals and demons would use to classify humans.

Emperor: Caught off guard with her terminology because he thought she was a regular human just like him.

I’m so embarrassed. Look how far my silly assumption has led me astray.

And further still! I had no appreciation for LBD speech here about the rise and fall of centuries. How absolutely freaky her show of power would have been for this simple human leader. 

WAIT! WAit wati wait waitk! That means definitely-not-a-mayor is also definitely-once-a-human-mortal-thing. I can’t believe it! I thought he was some immortal head of guard of the heavenly realm who turned on the Jade Emperor! But he’s also just some guy! Or at least he was at one time. This makes him so much more impressive to me! This human fought against Wukong, and didn't get turned to mush!!!

“If I hear da word destiny one more time!”

Thank you Pigsy for representing us. 

Look at this dad. Look at how he tries to care for his son. He was all doom and gloom until he saw the optimism and hope start dying in his son’s face. Now he’s taking action!

Ever realise that all of the LMK main villains are driven by the same thing? Discontentment with current world order. And their answers are to take over so they could be the ones in control.

Spider Queen’s and Demon Bull King’s goals were smaller scale (thank goodness) and they were just unhappy with their own place in the world. LBD and Azure Lion had much larger ambitions and they were unhappy with injustice in the world thanks to current world order.

And the season 5 villain?... They just wanted out of the system all together. Just wants to be a hermit, ya know? 

But what does that say about the heroes? What is the message here? Because the villain's motivation boils down to “I don’t like the status quo and seek to enact change,” does that mean the heroes are just here to keep things the way they are? Ignore the injustice, pain, suffering that Lady Bone Demon and Azure Lion noticed? Punish anyone for trying to reach above their station like Demon Bull King and Spider Queen?

Yeah, actually, that is kind of what they keep doing. Think about it. The heroes are reactionary only. Demon Bull King tries to take over the city, noodle gang reacts. Lady Bone Demon starts freezing everything and takes MK’s powers, noodle gang reacts. They aren’t trying to bring about any change, to make life better for people in disadvantageous situations like demons (why was the spider queen living in the sewers? Why did she have to hide her true form when out in public if not because she knew she would be hated… and this was before she tried to take over the city) or fight to hold the heavenly realm accountable for every time they do something that affects mortals (like dropping a dumpling that will crush an entire city and doing nothing to help or compensate the people they just doomed to a ridiculous death).

Instead the heroes just wait until someone disrupts the way things are and then they attack it. Never mind that Scorpion Demoness lives in a society where she has to hide her true form when trying to make friends because the moment anyone knows what she really is they either attack her or run. Never mind that most of the Heavenly Realm seems to care nothing for the Earthly Realm despite their own kind often jeopardising it.

There is need for change in this world but only the villains seem to be the ones to want to change it.

Now of course I do not agree with the methods the villains take to enact change. Purposely hurting others to achieve your goal is never the answer. Sacrificing people and life for your end goals does not achieve the kind of peace you say you desire. But at the same time, I just keep thinking, if Martin Luther King Jr. were in this world… would he have been seen as a villain? MLKJ wanted to stop the injustice he saw happening. He wanted to make the world a better place. MLKJ wanted to reach above the station society had put him and others like him into. MLKJ believed he and others born into the same social standing deserved more.

In some ways, MLKJ is like the LMK villains. Of course there is a difference. MLKJ wasn’t trying to destroy everything so he could have a clean slate. MLKJ did not take away anyone's freedom of choice or sacrifice others for his cause. But the first 4 seasons of LMK seem to showcase this want to make a difference, enact change, fight against corrupt leaders as wrong. 

‘Hey’ I hear you say, ‘If you hate this show so much then why are you still watching.’

But I don’t hate this show! You gotta believe me! Its just… I’ve seen this problem again and again in most superhero movies and shows. The villains are the only ones allowed to try and make a change, and the heroes are stuck being the keepers of the status quo. So I’m not too surprised to see it happening in this show. Sad, but not surprised...

And then season 5 rolled in. Say what you will about season 5, whether you loved it or hated it. I know a lot of people felt disappointed, or it just didn’t hit the same way the previous ones had… but I love the way season 5 flipped the script. For those of you who haven’t seen it, I’ll try not to spoil it too much. Just know that MK and his friends end up being the ones trying to enact change. That MK sees something in the status quo of the world/universe that he doesn’t agree with, that he believes is wrong, and tries to enact change.

Finally, a kids show where the heroes are the ones trying to make a difference instead of just the villains.

And now back to our regularly scheduled goofiness, in which everyone thought a bit of rope would hold the guy that can literally disappear into shadows.

Both Sandy and Red Son fight to be the one to say the lines. My poor B Teamers. I know, you guys deserve to have more relevance.

I don’t get this part. Pigsy just got done saying they can’t trust Macaque’s word because he could be leading them into a trap and Tang responds with a speech about writing the final chapter, living up to the legends of before, and doing big scary battle together.

…

…

What? 

This so far out of left field!

Seriously, was Tang just not listening to Pigsy’s concerns at all? Was he lost in his head this whole time just trying to build the courage to fight? How does a speech about “their story becoming our story” answer Pigsy’s question? Can they trust Macaque? Is he working for LBD or not? Is this just a trap?

Maybe, if Tang directed his speech to the new guys (Red Son and Macaque) I could see the speech being about how they all have to work together. But NOOOOO. He’s just talking and looking at the OG noodle gang. Just hyping up his well-known bros to fight together.

Which, by the way, MK already said all of this ‘friendship is power’ and ‘we gotta stick together’ stuff, just not so fancy like. Tang! BE RELEVANT and don't just sweep Pigsy’s very real concern under the rug with PRETTY WORDS! 

I was so caught up with MK finally living up to his voice actor’s legacy that I didn’t think about how vague and unhelpful his plan really is.

Thank you Red Son for bringing me back to reality.

Love that in MK’s mind, Pigsy is being more helpful to the plan than Red Son who is just screaming flames into the air.

And then there’s Tang.

“Look, I brought you the Lady Bone Demon’s lap dog, but I’m not up for being a hero, kid.”

“We don’t need to beat him. We just gotta keep him busy.”

Anyone else find it interesting how MK answers him? At first I thought, what does defeating Wukong have to do with being a hero? Heroes don't have to be assured victory to be heroes. They just have to step up and try to do the right thing despite the difficulties.

But then I realised, MK is answering Macaque's true fears, not the words he using as a distraction to his true motivations. Macaque isn’t against being a hero. He's afraid of Wukong. 

Macaque knows his power level isn’t anywhere near the great sage. He knows he can’t win. That's why Macaque always fights underhand, in the shadow, poking at the ones around Wukong instead of ever directly facing him (and when he did try to face Wukong, it was with stolen power).

MK, our beloved little scamp, has figured this out about Macaque and is assuring him this is exactly the kind of fighting he’s used to. Underhanded and sneaky. It's not a fight where opponents have to overpower the other to win. It's not a real fight at all. It's an illusion.

“Stop! You keep playing at being this bad guy, acting like you’re just in it for you. But I know, deep deep down. You’re not that guy.” 

Look at that face. That is the face of an ancient lone wolf who has just realised the super jumpy wolf pup can read him like a deer track. MK knows Macaque beyond his facade and it surprises him. 

He shooketh.

Also, Macaque, you’ve been doing a poor job of covering your tracks. Saving MK from Blue Wukong twice, Bringing them a key puzzle to defeating Lady Bone Demon, offering advice. Did you really think he wouldn’t connect the dots? He knows what you’re portals feel like. Just because he didn’t immediately try and call you out the first time you rescued him doesn’t mean MK wasn’t aware it happened.

“What can I say, I’m dramatic.”

Love it when characters just admit to their personality quirks. Like the fandom is whisper-screaming about him being such a theater kid and then bam he casually confirms our accusations like it's no big deal.

[princelylove]

The Father.

Synopsis: A character study on Bruno Bucciarati. 

Warning: pet names used in italian are masculine, general yandere behavior, nsfw implication at the end but no real nsfw, referenced violence

Bruno is not really naturally the fatherly type, but he chooses the responsibility anyway. He hides that he smokes, doesn’t eat until everyone else has, and very rarely slacks off. Although he’s serious about work and his family, he tends to be playful and lighthearted. It’s rare to see Bruno in a bad mood. He’s a family man. Loves the holidays, always hosts. Wants to be called papa or dad- Bruno’s secretly hoping that one day someone will slip and call him ‘Daddy,’ how delusional. He took the responsibility from his own father for his health and safety when he was little and didn’t really blink, but who takes care of Bruno? No one! Because providers don’t need to be babied, obviously, and that’s exactly what he is. The provider. The man of the house. 

His favorite albums from Miles Davis are Agharta and Bitches Brew, which are jazz-fusion, avant-garde jazz, funk rock, and jazz-rock. I tend to think of jazz as slow, easy listening, but it’s wild, it’s experimental, it’s everything Bruno doesn’t allow himself to be in favor of keeping his perfect family fantasy safe and sound.  The Bucciarati household is always loud- whether that be from Narancia and Pannacotta “playing,” in Bruno’s words, or from the little record player that lives in the living room. He offered to buy Pannacotta some vinyl records, but he never took him up on it. It’s a bit of a sore subject. The bookcase has a cardboard box in it filled to the brim with albums from Miles Davis, Sade, Frank Sinatra, Tupac, and his darling’s alleged music taste- he guessed based off of what was in your room. How did he get in your room? Don’t be silly, he never said he was in your room. 

Bruno takes up two personas in order to maintain his fantasies, his passione one and his fatherly one, and flips back and forth depending on what’s going to work best. It’s rare to see Bruno just… being himself. He’s obsessed with how things are supposed to be- he wants what he never had. A big, happy family. 

His passione one is where he gets his sadism out of his system, where he tells himself he’s just doing whatever it takes to keep his family safe and sound and not thoroughly enjoying beating the shit out of whoever Polpo tells him to. He grabs your wrists too tightly when moving you out of his way, gets a little too loud with you, sometimes. He doesn’t hit his darling normally- no, that’s not what a good husband would do- but sometimes you just make comments that burrow themselves under his skin, and he can’t help but react. 

He doesn’t shy away when he does it, either. He always doubles down, giving you that firm tone he gives Narancia when he slacks off on important jobs, or how he would talk to someone while working a typical repo job. It’s like you’re talking to someone else- he doesn’t even bother to fake his normal smile. 

“Watch how you talk to me before you lose the ability to speak at all.”

It’s short and sweet. Nothing more needs to be said. 

He holds his head in his hands, later, thinking about how badly he just set himself back. At least he has the courtesy to open a window to let the smoke pour out. 

He doesn’t like smelling like cigarettes.

He isn’t really meant to be a father. He doesn’t really know how, but he’s trying to. He’s not meant to be a husband, either, with the way he treats his spouse, lately. But he’ll smile, and take that gentle tone, because he must. The world may be cruel, but he must not be. He has to work to not have that type of reaction when you speak to him so harshly. Maybe if he were a better man.

His cheeks hurt from smiling too much. He’s trained himself so that his smile would always reach his eyes- he even trained his relaxed face to be a more palatable version of his actual relaxed face. You won’t open up to him if he scowls at you, or glares at you instead of looks. He wants everyone to think he’s gentle- he wants to be the father that everyone always comes back to visit once they’re all grown up. A better version of his father, who Bruno would argue was perfect, for what he had. 

His darling is meant to be his spouse- his other half. He longs for someone he can shower with pet names, someone who will melt into his hands, someone who appreciates just how much effort he puts into everything. It’s rare that Bruno can fully relax- there’s always something to be done, whether that be at home, or by Polpo’s order. 

But… He doesn’t truly trust his darling. He loves to micromanage, and it makes him anxious to think about you holding something sharp or standing on something unstable. Please just let him reach whatever it is you need for him- his stand can bring things down if it’s also out of his reach. 

Why do you want to drive? He knows how to drive. Why did you bring your wallet? Of course he’s going to pay for you- he asked you out, didn’t he? Oh, let's not cut up your own snack, you could hurt yourself… Bruno is begging to be needed. He finds his identity in being the man of the house- the provider, the father, the husband, but you just aren’t giving it to him, and it's driving him up the wall. 

It’s suffocating. It’s patronizing. You can shave by yourself, you’re not a child. You know how to take something out of the oven- you’re not going to use your bare hand to touch the metal that was just sitting at 177 degrees celsius.

A little note sits on your nightstand. It’s meant to be a bonding exercise, as he leaves a new one every morning, but you don’t speak italian. Bruno’s handwriting is neat and bubbly- why he put so much effort into making it legible but not in a language you understand is beyond you. 

‘Amore mio -

Sono innamorato di te. Non aprire la porta a nessuno.

Avete mangiato qualcosa? 

Tuo marito.’

You’re left to sit and stare at it, if you’d like, or get on with the chores you know you have to do before Bruno gets back.

It’s little moments of peace- of genuine privacy- like these that keep you going. You’ve been getting up earlier for this exact purpose. Bruno would really rather you sleep the entire morning away and wake up to him coming home in the afternoon, arms open and smiling, calling his name, maybe saying something like “Come back to bed, my love.” … but it’s healthier for you to be up during the day, getting some sun from the open windows, and engage your mind with some tasks that aren’t instant-pleasure based.

But sleeping in a little bit isn’t a crime. You’re welcome to sleep until Narancia gets up- he needs you to walk him through the steps of making breakfast, again. Don’t worry. You won’t be touching the stove, or using a knife. Just guide him through it verbally, and comfort him if it fails.

It eats Bruno alive when you don’t immediately greet him at the door.

He sighs a bit at the snack you brought him. The bowl makes a clack sound as you set it down on his desk. You took such care in peeling and slicing some apples for him, he should be grateful. 

“Bello. What’s this for? I’d rather you not use the peeler unsupervised.”

“Wasn’t. Narancia was watching.” 

Bruno bites his lip a bit, but is quick to fix his face. He smiles at you oh-so-lovingly. “I didn’t know he was warming up to you, amore. Did something happen?” His hand reaches for the bowl, his wrist sits on the old wood of his desk, and his fingers tap the brim ever so lightly. He’s debating eating it to ‘please’ you or not, debating if he can hide his distaste for the fruit from his almost-spouse. So close.

“No.” Your answer is simple. It’s behaving without submitting. He wants the full story. Wants to know why his son is hovering over his darling- if this wasn’t done by a peeler, and actually done by the small pocket knife he trusted his son to have around you- 

“Perhaps it’s the exposure to you, then.” He really does it. He pops one of the smaller slices into his mouth, and chews. His shoe makes a distinct tap as he bounces his knee under his desk. As much as he adores you, his fondness for apples is like his fondness for the boss.

You hum at his act of ‘love,’ and wait for him to finish chewing, and actually swallow. When he notices your stare, he opens his mouth to display that he actually did.

“See? There’s no need to fuss, I’m not having issues with eating. I eat very well, actually.”

Of course his mind jumps to you being concerned for him. When you don’t respond, he sighs a little bit, and stands.

“Amore, is there something you want to talk about? I’m open to your worries. That’s what I’m here for.”

The clack of his shoes don’t comfort you. 

His outstretched hand doesn’t ease your worries.

His voice doesn’t soothe you.

“I love you, tesoro mio.” His lips graze your cheek, “I wish you wouldn’t look at me like I’m going to eat you.”

His hand rests on your waist, pulling you in closer.

“Unless you’d like me to.”

[cal-gabes]

RUNNING HERE BC I SAW A POST AND JUST. Y’ALL ARE BEINF SUBJECTED TO MY SOURCE MEMORIES AND IDGAF WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT. THESE ARE SILLY 2 ME!!! 😾 (using cat emojis is so fun)

POST UNDER THE CUT SO YOU DONT SUFFER

( Hi! I feel the need to say; I’m aware i’m not my source. I just heavily lean towards it due to the comfort it brings! secondly, if you think i’m weird just don’t interact and move on? you have to SEARCH to find my blog. I don’t tag anything relating 2 my source so it’s kinda ur own fault really. Thx! )

— Ukrainian + Polish!!!!! Born and raised in america BUT YEAH

— I genuinely love sharks and trains; I use to ramble about my favorite shark, the lemon shark, all the time and yes I was punched bc of it (he cared about me I promise/silly)

— Snake bites + center tongue piercing were my dream ngl. still is but you get my point

— I had 1 tattoo and it was a stick n poke I did while high… it was a smiley on my inner thigh

— There was not a day at the kriegman’s that I did not actively try to cuddle with mel. whoever started the allegations that me and her didn’t get along are wrong; i babied her just as much as andre tyvm.

— Low iron would’ve been the death of me if it weren’t for ZD tbh. I forgot my meds so damn often and no, reminders did NOT help.

— Let rachel and my sister do my makeup one time; got deemed “Princess Caralyne” and have not let go of that sense even if i’m FtM. Forever princess caralyne. idc man. 🫶

— I did steal shit from andre a lot tbh. mainly random trinkets I found in his room and he never noticed???? he might’ve but honestly he never got onto me about it so 💀

— Mindlessly pressing my tongue to my cheek. Got yelled at often bc I’d zone out looking at the dumbass while doing it. Yeah…

— OKAY ENOUGH RELATING 2 ANDRE. My favorite thing to eat was pizza even tho i despised and continue to despise cheese. idk it tastes funny 2 me.

— I was forced to play uno with my siblings so many times and lost too many times for my ego to be intact but it still is bc I beat them in everything else.

— Broke my leg once and had to use crutches and threatened to wack someone in the head with them when I’d get fed up…

— DPD, ASD and ADD haunted me like the plague and still do. I can’t escape my suffering man.

— Being deadass, I bit everything I could any chance i got.

OKAY SHIT ABOUT ANDRE NOW + my weird ass relationship w/ him… HI BABE WHEN U SEE THIS ENJOY MY WEIRD MEMORIES OF U REGARDING SOURCE :3

— He had a freckle on the back of his neck that looked like a heart and I 100% kissed it whenever I could. got hit each time and nearly broke my nose too many times… but worth it nonetheless!!!

— Not much of a hugger, but did hold my hand if he thought I needed some form of affection which was nice!

— No, he really did lose it every time I said lieutenant. not just bc he was mad prior. he hated it and I loved to piss him off w/ it.

— THAT MAN NEEDED GLASSES ISTG. HE COULDNT SEE FOR SHIT HALF THE TIME.

— He would stare at people with murderous intent the second they mention any accent from him and it was honestly terrifying???

— Frog blinks. he frog blinked without meaning to and it was adorable. called him froggy for a very long while.

— He bailed me. he bailed me out of jail 3 times and we aren’t getting into that.

— Proper communication? nahhh. avoiding you for weeks then showing back up as if he wasn’t gone at all? mm. that’s it, that hits the spot./silly

I will probably post more shit like this about other stuff too because just wehlehfkdhdkfb happy

[child-of-hurin]

tagged by @dontbotherwiththepronunciation and @chthonic-cassandra

tagging:

I saw this meme going around recently and I can't remember who's already done it and who hasn't, so I'm blanket tagging anyone who reads this and feels like it :) tag me so I can read your response

3 ships 

Túrin/Nienor (TOLKIEN) I haven’t talked much about them lately but they’re still the most compelling to me… Part of what keeps me distant from fandom is that I feel like many fans won’t touch this ship with a ten foot pole. So even non-shippy fics or meta ends up OOC, fails to acknowledge how these two are both founding & sinking stones in each other’s lives…Etc…But it doesn’t matter much, I’ve been shipping this by myself for a long time and I’ll probably do it forever 😌

Irene/Eugenides (QUEEN’S THIEF) My current obsession, this ship lets me explore so many things I like :’D

Sandor/Sansa  (ASOIAF) Another ship that lay dormant but that’s re-awakening lately because I keep seeing posts that annoy me lmao. The problem here though is that I love their interactions in canon, and although I’ll be very happy if they meet again (and wish them to do so), I’m perfectly satisfied with what we got!  I genuinely find their arc very touching if heartbreaking, and I love what GRRM is saying — esp. regarding gender and socially-enabled abuse — through them. I think I’m mostly fascinated by the conflict in how these two come into contact with very idealized notions of how they should interact: Protector-protected for Sansa, Preadator-victim for Sandor, and yet no matter how much they try to convince each other AND THEMSELVES to fit into these models, reality imposes itself every time, and then they end up relating to each other as one person to another… It touches me deeply, this theme of the rawness and implacability of perceiving someone else (whether you want to or not!) instead of the idealized version of them. And how it's not necessarily easy to bear, or to live with!! I also love thinking about them in comparison to Theon and Jeyne, who have somewhat similar themes (especially like, the crushing weight of being aware of someone else's humanity/peerness), but somehow managed to free themselves whereas Sandor failed Arya and himself and ‘died’ & Sansa is now at Littlefinger’s mercy. We'll see where that will go, though (or not...it's been 84 years)

first ship

I always have a different answer for this one haha. Now I’m thinking it might have been Rodka/Sonya from Dostoievsky’s Crime and Punishment…

last song: 

last movie

John Water’s Hairspray (1988), delightful

currently reading

I’m reading a bunch of books at the same time right now… Let’s say The Count of Monte Cristo which I hadn’t read before & I’m right in the middle of. I’m reading it in English which feels a little silly, but whatever. It has WAY more orientalism than I ever thought. The psychology of it is also more complicated than I was originally led to believe. I'm fonder of both Franz and Albert than I think I'm supposed to be. I’m halfway through and I can’t believe Dantès owns two slaves...I do love that he’s not beating the vampire allegations.

currently eating

Trying to make space for a raisin roll 😞

currently craving

Mint tea...

[lilacerull0]

I’ve been watching House and it’s real I’m a Chase girl now. Most guy ever. He’s Aussie. His boss bullies him. He’s an orphan. He’s rich. His boss punches him in the face. He loses a fight with an eight year old child. He can’t get his girl to commit. He’s blonde. He is never beating the babygirl allegations.

IT'S SO REAL.... I mean we are divorced now (formally), but if I saw him ever again I'd reconsider that decision and (unfortunately) fulfill the prophecy of marrying and divorcing and remarrying the same person in my life continously, as told by my sister.🥴💫

he thinks aliens are real. he's rich, but he's poor. he's smart, but super dumb about it. he wears silly little outfits that he should get bullied for, but the accent is too accent for anyone to notice them. he's pretty and it's a medical issue. OK forget all that, it's the hair. #jochaserenaissance

[codenamesazanka]

Hi hello are you aware the song Video Games by The Young Professionals is definitely 100% about Spinnaraki

oh my god, I know this song, and this cover with the fast pop beat and video game sounds makes it even more perfect

I’ve actually had ‘Video Games’ (original version, Lana Del Ray) on my Spinaraki playlist for while because— well, look at the lyrics:

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?

“It’s all for you, everything I do,” is Spinner, practically word for word the things he’s said in canon, and doubtless in his actions. And for what? For Shigaraki; for that ‘heaven and hell’ that Shigaraki spoke of bringing to earth via his destruction, where only the things the League likes are spared, whatever left is just for them, with only them.

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And, baby, now you do

It’s the melancholic, selfish vibes of two lovers who only have eyes for each other, ignoring everything else in the world, to enjoy each other and their dumb pleasures

And you say, "Get over here

And play a video game"

I’ve thought of the song before but hesitated in deeming it for Spinaraki, because while it did have ‘Video Games’ in the title, it was more a song about a silly girl who would do anything for some guy she’s in love with, that toxic old fashioned idea of het romance, one sided and quite antifeminist like the accusations against it had claimed when it first released—

But then it turns out Spinner is a shounen love interest after all and he also can’t beat all these allegations.

also, just imagine him in a sundress. being held in Shigaraki’s big arms.

Thanks for the ask!

[poltergeist-coffee]

Heyy, it's me again

The one and only

🍽️ ANON

Kameto coming back yesterday was the most unexpected thing

And he's a spy???

In any case, we also got favela interactions:D

Bagi was going to show her secret base only to Pac(It didn't expect to like their dynamic so much) but then Cellbit just going "let's go together" was so funny and Kameto just coming and distracted them from the discussion and someone on Pac's chat just said "KAMETO LEAVE I WANT TO SEE THE FIGHT"

And Pac stole the tvs when they were leaving that place where they found Kameto

That's my streamer

Oh yeah, and Forever somehow got along into the ride to go to Bagi's secret base

B: "Apparently my brother liked chess and worms"

F: "I like chess but I don't like worms"

C: "I like chess and I like worms but I'm not your brother"

He's not beating the sibling allegations

And there was Pac who was: "I don't like neither"

(And right now Bagi is trying to get rid of a considerable amount of milk and I don't even know where it come from

She's going to be lactose intolerant after drinking that amount of milk)

Now, stopping my rambling for a moment, do you have any Favela six + Richas(and perhaps the honorary brazilians) headcanons?

(Or insane duo cuz you slightly looks like that you like them, y'know, just very slightly ashuksksks)

- 🍽️

HELLO!! YEAH YESTERDAYS STREAM WAS KINDA CRAZY KWMKNFIJS what a twist for kameto to come back as a federation spy!! tbh i’m vv excited to see what he does and all the devious things he can get up too >:3c esp since he has etoiles like- etoiles is someone everyone trusts so is etoikes trusts kameto then i feel like kameto is just going to get whatever knowledge he wants you know? it will be so easy for him

pac never stopped being a thief <33 hell yeah king take all those tv monitors or whatever collect that shit

I LOVED THE CONVO OF BAGI TRYING TO ASK CELLBIT THINGS FROM HER BOOK TO SEE IF HES HER BROTHER KMAKNVJND cellbit didn’t even question it he’s like alright q&a time what do you want to know maknkfnkja

i will ramble about some Favela Six hcs under the cut for anyone interested in them >:3c also!! anon i don’t like insaneduo what makes you think that i like them <- lying

my personal hc for q!cellbit is that he’s a phantom OR maybe just a silly human who’s incredibly deranged… (i don’t want him to be a catboy as much as i think it fits him bc i remember cc!cellbit saying he isn’t super fond of it. idc that people do this is just a me thing aknfjhjsn)

mayhaps he and bagi are both humans…

q!mike to me is a creeper and he is terrified of cats (cellbit) and will make the creeper hissing sound (like about to explode) when under a lot of stress

he and pac have matching earrings :)) like they have two sets of earrings one green and one blue but they both share it? like pac has one green and one blue earring!! so mike has the other pair to the set

qforever is trans (to me) and a werewolf and you can’t convince me otherwise. he is so dogboy coded it’s fucking insane he is a werewolf and you can’t convince me otherwise

qpac is not human but i don’t know what he is specially… haven’t come up with it yet… i just know he can’t be human…

oh and qfelps ofc is a magma cube <33 my fav ever

i think that before the insaneduo divorce arc qforever would go to the order base very often and just fall asleep in there while cellbit worked

i remember seeing a clip of him saying the office and the music cellbit played there was very comforting to him so he often goes there if he can’t sleep at night and curls up on the couch falling asleep to the sound of cellbit typing away on his keyboard u-u

i feel like richas has multiple bedroom everywhere. like all his parents have their own homes and he can sleep there so every mornign all the brazilians will text each other like “who had richas? who’s taking care of him today?” you know??

when richas meets bagi i believe strongly that he would steal one of her extra hats and wear it around + brag to everyone like he has SO MANY DADS and also TWO MOMS!! which is more moms then most of the eggs u-u he continues to remain unmatched in “having the most parents” department

i think after richas helped forever build the ocean (i’m sorry i don’t remember the name) with forever he was sort of sick of sand/beaches in general for a while MKANJHCIJLAM he shakes his head and sand is flying EVERYWHERE

richas is also wearing his jersey backwards and no one has yet to make a comment about it to him

richas would carry around markers/pens with him at all times and when he’s bored he’d doodle on his arms or legs + anyone he’s with who lets him (his favorite person to draw on is forever only because forever acts super annoyed about it and chases him around)

i like the idea of all the streamers chats taking the form of an animal or something like that so i don’t think it’s uncommon to see a bunch of diff animals around the favela or richas just hanging out with one another :))

i think it might be canon that qfelps can marry people?? like that job?? he can officiate weddings?? if it’s not them i’m sorry fanon got to me but he totally officiated qinsaneduos wedding on that boat they crashed

qfelps can NOT drive a boat he can’t even GO IN WATER!! WHY WOULD THEY LET HIM DRIVE THE BOAT!! HIS WHIMSY WAS TOO GREAT!!

okay i think that’s enough for now MKANHFJNSK thanks for listening <33

[shihalyfie]

Takeru’s character song “Focus”

I alluded to this in a prior post (and, to be a bit honest about it, was a little concerned about how it would be received), but I had some friends ask about what I meant about this, so I decided to go more into detail with it! This is also partially in light of the occasion of the Best Partner albums also becoming a topic of interest again, so it feels like a good time as ever!

02 was a pretty prolific time for merchandising and side material as far as the franchise goes, and one of the many things that came out of it was the “Best Partner” series of character song albums (a whole 36 songs for all 12 Adventure and 02 kids plus their partners!). Of these, Takeru’s song “Focus” has been a particular topic of interest for many in the fanbase to its suspiciously loaded language and the fact that, well...it comes off as a romantic song, which is very unusual in a series that infamously didn’t touch on the topic of romance very much in terms of the actual series. Speculation has constantly abounded on what it’s supposed to imply, why it’s written this way, and what it could possibly mean...

But if you look at it closely? It’s probably not meant to be romantic, and it most likely refers to Patamon.

One thing that I do need to point out is context. Many who have been cynical about the song’s alleged romantic implications have generally put forth the idea that the music department was technically separate from the anime staff, so it’s possible that the music staff wanted to bait or provoke fanservice without much connection from the anime production. It is, undoubtedly, true that the music department isn’t necessarily fully tied in with the anime department, and has been fully willing to indulge in questionably-canon silliness (while 02′s Christmas Fantasy is certainly in-character, its placement in actual canon timeline has to be finagled with because of what we know about 02′s actual Christmas, and Tamers’s Christmas Illusion is far more comedic than the series itself actually permits), and, exacerbating this further is the fact that Hikari has her own extremely romantically loaded song, Reflection, which is often submitted as evidence that Focus must be made in the same vein, but tends to omit the fact that the album it comes from (Girls Festival) needs to be taken with a very heavy grain of salt given that it’s a notorious fanservice album that deliberately plays up the “maiden-like” characteristics of all of the girls involved for the sake of, ah, a certain subsection of the audience. (It was also made in 2002, long after 02′s production had ended.)

The notable thing about the Best Partner albums is that all of the material on it is extremely in-character, and this is especially notable because the song lyrics are significantly more obviously relevant to each character in 02 and their relationship with their partner than even the original Adventure character songs were (with said Adventure character songs often toeing into rather vague glosses that are only tangentially relevant to each character, and Mimi’s song on there pretty blatantly being an AiM single shoved onto the album for the sake of being called a Mimi song). Moreover, Focus isn’t just written by some random lyricist they grabbed for it, but regular Digimon lyricist Yamada Hiroshi himself, who was very involved in the anime production in terms of writing 02′s inserts Break up! and Beat Hit!, and, considering everything this series is about, you’d imagine he’d probably have been given some kind of details about what to do with Takeru’s representative song. It would be quite strange if, for some reason, Takeru’s song were the only one to go really off the rails about shipping bait instead of being, well, actually about his character arc. 

I should emphasize that the fact that this song is so commonly read as romantic persists in Japan as well, so whether it was via mishap or not, undeniably, the way the lyrics are phrased definitely make the romantic reading a very reasonable one to pull. The language in the song is extremely “loaded”, and, if it weren’t for the unique circumstances I’m about to describe, most reasonable people can’t really be blamed for taking it this way. However, I will say that all of the most common English translations of various parts of the songs have tended to assume the romantic interpretation as well, and have thus followed up with it by definitively translating it in ways that make it near impossible to read otherwise. So what I’m saying here is that I don’t think it was unreasonable for people to have taken the romantic interpretation, and I don’t particularly intend to blame or criticize the translators who handled this song for also taking it this way, but I also want to make clear that this is not the only way to read the song, and that there’s a very high possibility that this wasn’t the case to begin with.

(Also, since I mentioned Yamada Hiroshi earlier: it’s actually not all that uncommon for him to use heavily-loaded language like this in songs he’s written for the series -- refer to Beat Hit! -- it’s just that people haven’t traditionally taken them as shipping because the context and identity of the songs’ topic matters were so obvious that there wasn’t much need to do speculation about it.)

Let’s take a look into all of the parts of the song that have been traditionally taken as romantic:

"We were together since we were little”

One thing that’s interesting about how this line is phrased in Japanese is that it doesn’t actually specify who was little. And, obviously, if you’re talking about a relationship between humans, you’d think that childhood friends would grow up together, so you’d default to “we”...but, actually, the Japanese text doesn’t rule out the possibility of reading this as “since I was little”. Which means that, yes, Patamon isn’t out of the ruling here -- because, indeed, they met when Takeru was young.

In fact, this actually is a line that arguably should rule out anyone else, especially including the most common speculated topic for this song, Hikari -- because he and Hikari weren’t actually that close during Adventure, and their time “together” was relatively short compared to the rest of the adventure. Remember that the Adventure kids weren’t very close to each other after the events of the series, and Hikari and Takeru didn’t keep close contact between Adventure and 02 -- contrast Patamon being close to Takeru during the entirety of the series, and, bar their periods of disconnect between Adventure and 02, you could say that he’s been the closest to Takeru since this time, especially since Yamato hadn’t been able to be as present for him as he’d wanted.

"Running, rolling around, and always laughing"

Again, this is a line that practically excludes nearly anyone else from consideration. Nobody ever did this with Takeru in Adventure but Patamon, especially since Takeru was trying to present himself as a well-behaved kid in the presence of his elders, and it’s entirely possible he wouldn’t have been willing to do this with anyone else but the outwardly childish Patamon. It definitely would not have been Hikari, who was arguably even more reserved than him during this time.

“It would have been better if I hadn’t realized”/“I have a lot of things I want to tell you, but I can’t really say it”/“I can’t ask that”

Sentiments like “I can’t admit it”, or difficulty with accepting one’s own feelings, is usually associated with developing romantic feelings for another person and being touchy about admitting them, but the thing is that this is intended to be a representative character song, and Takeru is actually abysmally bad at admitting anything in general. And yes, that includes not being able to be straightforward with Patamon himself about parsing his trauma over his death.

Takeru was never able to have a straightforward conversation with even Patamon about the whole issue, because of his nasty habit of never opening up about his problems and never being honest about them. That’s why Iori had to be the one to take matters into his own hands and go out of his way to understand Takeru, because Takeru sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to work through this on his own, or even with Patamon.

“I can’t get you off my mind”

This one’s actually a stock phrase in Japanese that can refer to “being interested” in someone (romantically), but can also refer to something just not really being able to leave your head in general (from being bothered by it, or being very worried). So yes, this could mean anything from a romantic fixation...to simply being constantly worried and concerned about one’s welfare.

“You were always crying”

As far as people around Takeru’s periphery who apparently cried a lot goes, there aren’t a lot! The description doesn’t seem to fit Hikari much, either (she had her moments, but it’s not the kind of thing you’d imagine this kind of extreme descriptor for). Hm, but there is someone who might fit that description...

Certainly, enough that Takeru would remember.

(By the way, Patamon gets sent on the verge of tears in the middle of his own solo song...)

"The door that I couldn't reach that day, no matter how far I stretched out"

Very important part here: that day. There was a very important “day” that seems to be on Takeru’s mind here. What’s repeatedly referred to in 02 as one of the most traumatic and impactful days of Takeru’s life?

Incidentally, Takeru and Patamon’s duet song for this album also just so happens to use “opening door” imagery...

“You’re now standing in the light”

That use of “light” is usually submitted as evidence that it’s referring to Hikari via a pun on her name, but, well, “light” does happen to just mean “light”, after all (and it’s used in many contexts that don’t necessarily have to refer to Hikari in 02 itself). And, well...

Pretty apt description there, no?

"We were always being protected"

It could refer to Hikari, or anyone else Takeru was with during Adventure, but remember that Patamon was always the slowest to evolve (especially given the many circumstances that happened with him in Adventure that kept him unable to actively join the fight effectively for a very, very long time), and Takeru himself also had a pretty nasty complex about holding everyone back.

So, in conclusion...

Despite how loaded the language is, in the end, it’s probably meant to be a song about Takeru handling his trauma regarding Patamon very poorly at the time of 02. Which is, well, what his character arc in 02 was about, so it tracks, doesn’t it?

Bear in mind that, again, this is basically “one readable interpretation of it”, which I also personally happen to back very strongly because I think the evidence simply tracks too much given context -- the details described in the song rule out almost every other candidate that would be relevant to Takeru’s character arc, also happen to describe the events of Adventure too well, and certainly would track much better with everything else in this particular album series mostly being relevant to everyone’s character as reflected in 02. Song lyrics are song lyrics, and interpretation might be in the eyes of the beholder...but, you know, food for thought.

[discotreque]

LwD 2.05: An Embarrassment of Dooplers

So I was a little nervous about this one! I hadn’t heard any spoiler-spoilers, but screeners have been out for weeks now, and I’d heard a bunch of individual, vague, non-spoilery hints about (1) big character moments, on the scale of a mid-season finale even though the show’s not taking a mid-season break; and (2) an ending that would make me cry.

I guess I imagined something relatively serious and dramatic, like “No Small Parts”? This show makes me cackle with laughter and giggle with nerdy glee and “d’awww!” at heartwarming friendships every week, but it’s only ever made me cry once—and then I was impressed that they were going to get there from the wacky hijinks we saw in the brief teaser.

The lack of a cold open made me apprehensive too—in my experience, that’s typically a sign that there’s so much plot in the rest of the episode that they need that extra scene—but after ~21.5 minutes of aforementioned hijinks, I was having so much fun that I’d completely forgotten about the alleged tear-jerker at the end…

…and they were not the tears I was expecting.

I didn’t think I’d be smiling and crying!!!! That was wholesome as SHIT!!!!!

I almost can’t believe they earned that—but they totally did.

After a Mariner–Tendi episode and a Boimler–Rutherford episode, we’re back to the “usual” Season 1 pairings… except the relationships between these characters have changed since Season 1. Mariner still feels thwacked in the abandonment issues by Boimler bailing for the Titan, and Rutherford’s having a tiny little existential crisis about losing an entire year of his life.

Both of which are extremely understandable and very heavy situations—and both of those situations get resolved because everyone in them is vulnerable with each other and honest about their feelings—AND that honesty and vulnerability brings both pairs of friends closer together. Are you kidding me?? I would watch SEVENTY seasons of that shit. Put it in my veins.

Onto the notes:

So basically Dooplers are Tribbles, but for cringe comedy instead of slapstick? Ohhhhh boy.

Look at Ransom the diplomat, tossing his own fork on the floor! I like that he’s actually a pretty competent Starfleet officer, despite also being a completely ridiculous person.

Wait a second, is that—OH HOLY SHIT, THE DOOPLERS ARE VOICED BY RICHARD KIND.

It makes sense that B. Boimler would find William annoying—who likes seeing their own flaws reflected back at them? And who could be a better reflection of one’s flaws than one’s literal duplicate?—but most interesting to me is that it implies on some level, Bradward knows the stick up his butt is a flaw. (Does William?)

Why does the Cerritos model have working phasers?!?!

I’m loving hot pink as the currently en-vogue colour for “dangerous sci-fi energy” in animation (cf. almost every previous episode of this show; Into the Spider-Verse; other stuff I can’t remember right now). As a former child of the 80’s, I’m living for it… but as a former teenager of the 90’s, I can’t help but wonder if it’s going to age as poorly as the harsh neon green of The Matrix, every Borg appearance on Voyager, and like 80% of the websites I made in high school…

SKANTS! SKANTS! SKANTS!

That fake-out joke with the fly-by over the Cerritos model was in the season trailer weeks ago, and I was so enthralled by that handsome lady that the sticker coming into frame still got me good 😂😂😂

BECKY Mariner????? omg yes

Some top-quality Boimler screams in this one. Poor Jack Quaid must drink gallons of throat-coat tea when he records.

One of the great things about Star Trek to me is that you never know what you’re going to get from any random episode. A murder mystery? A road trip? A spooky thriller? A cheesy romance? Broad comedy? Body horror? Didactic political screeds shrouded in tissue-thin science-fiction metaphors? Brain and brain, what is brain??? And after this many years of watching, you’d think I’d be hard to surprise. But if I ever told you I thought I’d see a Blues Brothers–style car chase through a frickin’ shopping mall on an episode of Star Trek, I would have been straight-up lying to you. I loved it, it worked for me, my jaw was on the floor and I was clapping with joy—but I’m definitely comfortable calling this one “unexpected.”

It’s CAPTAIN SHELBY!!! And an ancient babydyke crush rose from the depths of my childhood subconscious… (Also I think her Number One is based on the original makeup—eventually deemed too complicated—for Saru? Now that’s a deep cut.)

In 20th-century Trek, you almost never got to see what was going on inside a starship from the outside. Even after they switched from physical models (where it was next to impossible on a single episode’s budget) to CGI (which was still in its infancy, still not exactly cheap, and still broadcast in SD anyway), it was a rare thrill to see any meaningful interior details in an exterior shot. Disco’s modern VFX have given us some tasty, tasty treats in that department, but nothing quite as sublime as all the pink Doopler light glittering through the Cerritos’s windows.

Mariner says she’ll take her contact Malvus down with her, and threatens that they’ll end up “in the same cell.” Malvus is a Mizarian, a species introduced in TNG’s “Allegiance,” in which Captain Picard is held in a mysterious prison with one. I think I see what you did there, McMahan?

Bartender… so hot… lesbian circuits… overloading…

The Tendi and Rutherford C-story was, well, a C-story within a 22-minute episode, so there wasn’t much to it, but the one scene that mattered actually mattered a lot. I’m ambivalent on whether they should end up romantically involved—I’d prefer they don’t, but they’ll be one of the cutest couples in Trek history if they do—and as long as they keep that pure, sweet friendship between them at the heart of whatever else happens, I’m on board.

Carol Freeman was already one of my favourite captains before this season, and she’s been steadily moving up the list. The quiet throughline about her ambition to be on a better ship has been fascinating so far, and it’s starting to actually make me feel a little conflicted: I’m of course rooting for Captain Freeman to recognize her worth, make Starfleet recognize her worth, and become the ass-kicking captain of a hero ship that she’s clearly ready to be—but that almost surely means she’d be kicking ass off-screen, because LwD isn’t about those kind of adventures, and I’d be devastated not to have Dawnn Lewis on the show every week. So I’m kind of on the edge of my seat about this one!

I had so many favourite jokes this week I put them in a separate list:

“Even the replicated water on the Titan tasted better” is a low-key brilliant dunk on people who can’t shut the fuck up about the cooler places they used to live.

“Ooooh, they have a Quark’s now! That used to just be an empty lot where teens would make mistakes!” ← That’s literally me every time I go back to where I grew up. I felt so Seen™ I almost hid under a blanket.

“I would never go down the stairs!” (evil grin) (goes up the stairs)

The “well, shit” expressions from Mariner and Boimler as their crashed car sank right into the water… which started to bubble innocuously… and then the bottles of Data bubble-bath popped up, paying off a joke I thought had already been paid off—that was the one that woke up my poor cat this week. Just exquisite timing.

“YOUR PAGH IS WEAK, AND IT DISGUSTS ME!” “I don’t even know what that is, but I don’t like your tone!”

“Okona’s in there? He’s not even Starfleet! This is outrageous!” made me shout “NO!” at the screen like I was scolding my cat for scratching furniture. (She did not wake up that time.)

Best background joke: the neon sign at the dive bar advertising FREE SHOTS & BEERS. (Get it? Because they’re on a Federation starbase? Where nobody uses money?)

And of course Quark merchandised DS9.

This wasn’t just a standout episode of Lower Decks, this was a brilliant episode of Star Trek, period. The Dooplers, though extremely silly, are nevertheless also a clever sci-fi metaphor for real and relatable personal/interpersonal issues, and an effective plot catalyst for meaningful character growth from all four of our ensigns and the captain.

The jokes were hilarious, the action was kinetic, the A-, B-, and C-plots linked up thematically, the visuals were consistently and thoroughly gorgeous, the character beats—between Mariner and Boimler, Tendi and Rutherford, Mariner and Capt. Freeman—were all genuine, heartfelt and wholesome, and the references to other Trek canon were both deep and deeply affectionate.

Only 15 episodes in, and this series knows exactly what it is, exactly what it wants to do, and knows that it can knock our socks off doing it. Mike McMahan has said in recent interviews that the back half of S2 (and the apparently almost-fully-written S3) is a straight line uphill in quality from here—which surprised me at first, because McMahan seems like a pretty chill dude who doesn’t normally brag about his own work like that.

But then the Prophets sent me a vision of my space dad Ben Sisko, who reminded me of the words of 1930’s baseball player Dizzy Dean:

“If you can do it, it ain’t bragging.”

[Thanks to cygnus-x1.net for the screenshots this week—I was too lazy to do my own.]

[littlemisslipbalm]

“Lucky Together”

Summary: Harry and Y/N always have wine night as best friends, but when Harry brings up the possibility of him going on a date, some confessions are made

so best friends to lovers! and its WINE WEDNESDAY!! I’m not entirely happy with this and I had an original plan for it and maybe someday I’ll actually do that, but for some reason my hands like to write angst sometimes. It’s mostly FLUFF but there is a little bit of tension, but it ends on a good note. Also it just felt kinda cliche but I still liked it - im conflicted. Let me know what y’all think feedback is appreciated :)

Word Count: 2.5k | Warnings: swearing, a little angst

-

Harry heard the door opening before he even heard the knock on the door. Y/N swung inside his home as he began to get up. A grin was plastered on her face as she bounded inside, slamming the door shut behind her. 

“Harrry!” she exclaimed, dragging out his name in voice that wasn’t exactly her own - a more exaggerated, silly persona. “Are you ready to get fucked up on…” she slowed down as she looked at the label of the wine she was holding, “A $20 bottle of a lovely red wine that I can’t read the name of?!” 

She threw her bags and coat haphazardly on the floor and Harry grinned back at his best friend. Y/N was so impossibly electric sometimes. He loved feeding off her energy and she was always quick to feed off his as well.

It was Wine Wednesday, a tradition Harry and Y/N have had since the beginning of their friendship. 

They had met at a corporate party thrown by Capitol Records. They worked in completely different sectors, Y/N’s job would never cross with Harry in the studio normally, but they met that night and hit it off. A friend of Y/N did in fact work with Harry and had introduced them casually. After spending the night laughing their heads off together, Harry and Y/N had exchanged numbers, promising to follow up on things they had thrown out as things to do together. One of those ideas had been always wanting someone to have a Wine Wednesday with. She had told Harry that she did it a few times in college, but had wanted to start again now that she was a sophisticated adult. He had laughed and agreed, saying he had never had a designated day for wine, but he thought it sounded like a class idea. 

That next wednesday, Y/N had called Harry asking for his address and then told him she’d be over in twenty minutes. Y/N had burst through the door similar to how she had tonight, except the first time Harry had to open the door for her first. She had thrown her things to the ground, found her way to the kitchen and uncorked the random bottle of cheap wine she had found at the market down the street from Harry. After that, they began to switch off who was to supply the wine, but Y/N always insisted it be cheap and that they were always at Harry’s house.

They had lost track a long time ago about how many times they had done Wine Wednesday together. And it was always together and no one else.

He scoffed at his friend as she beelined to his kitchen, “Naturally!”

Y/N smiled, grabbing a fish mouth bottle opener. Y/N took it and played with it for a second, animating the bottle opened to look as if it was swimming. After amusing herself enough, Y/N set to work on opening up the random bottle of wine. Harry joined her in the kitchen, moving around her with ease to grab their two extra large wine glasses.

On their first Wine Wednesday, Harry had only brought out his regular sized wine glasses and Y/N had told him that she’d bring bigger ones next time. He had stopped her, reassuring her he had larger glasses, but hadn’t realized that was what she wanted. Her reply was that it was only the two of them drinking the bottle, “Who the fuck else is getting poured a glass?”

“What are you doing with that fish, gonna break it, love,” Harry teased as he placed the glasses to the right of Y/N.

She rolled her eyes playfully at him as she finally freed the cork from the bottle. “Was just giving Mr. Fish a proper swim before using him. It’s the same as knocking before you enter a room. ‘S polite.” She smiled smugly, before pouring two extremely full glasses of the red wine. After resting the bottle back onto the table, Y/N grabbed her glass and nodded to Harry to take his. Knowing what she meant, Harry immediately took up his glass and clinked it with hers. They both threw back their heads slightly, taking large initial gulps of their wine.

Y/N led the way into Harry’s living room, which was big and spacious. He furnished it with big comfy couches and various art pieces on the wall, some random items laid around, but mostly it was clean.

Y/N had brought over a few of the random items that laid around, when she had first come over, she had told him how bare it was in here. Next time she was there she brought over a scarf - to hang over a lamp - she’d embroidered and a small rainbow sculpture. Harry had thanked her for the gifts, but Y/N insisted he was doing her a favor by allowing a little more life in the room. “Don’t get me wrong this art is...so you. But why is there nothing else in here that screams Harry or like, I live here? Feels suffocating, so lonely” she had mused about the room. Harry didn’t have an answer for Y/N and she was okay with that.

“Okay, so what are we doing tonight? Movie, music, or gossip?” Y/N relaxed into the couch and stretched her body out, leaving her almost prone on the couch with her feet on Harry’s coffee table. Her stare fixated on his smiling face, awaiting his suggestion. He shut one eye while contemplating their options, then he took a sip of his wine and went to settle beside Y/N on the couch. “Think gossip and music, yeah?” Harry said thoughtfully as he threw his toned arm around the back of the couch.

Y/N shifted to allow herself to look at Harry. He was in a hoodie and sweats and he looked a little sleepy already. She knew that meant this Wine Wednesday was going to be a short one. As much as she loved hanging out with Harry and drinking wine, she knew that he needed his rest. If he was already looking tired, it was likely the half drunk wine bottle would end up in the trash can and she’d be catching a cab before midnight. It wasn’t annoying, Y/N always wanted Harry to take care of himself first, rather than putting others' needs ahead of his own.

Nodding, Y/N took a sip of her wine. “Alright, for music...What are we thinking? Beatles? Or...uh, Beatles?” she said as if ruminating on the bands coming out of her mouth. Harry’s hand that was on the top of the couch came down to swat at Y/N’s head. “Hmm, good choices...But I was feeling more Hall & Oates tonight. You mind?” She shrugged after hitting his hand right back. “Don’t care, but Lennon and Harrison just might be rolling in their graves right now,” Y/N said as her eyebrows rose and she looked disapprovingly at Harry. “You literally love Hall & Oates, Y/N, hush,” he popped back up after scolding Y/N and flicked on his speakers and pressed play on his Hall & Oates playlist of their discography.

“Would I have persuaded you more if I had asked for Fleetwood?” Y/N asked when Harry returned to his seat. She shifted to sitting completely, cross legged, fully facing Harry on the couch. Harry barked out a laugh before visibly considering her question. “Maybe,” he said with a scrunch of his face like ‘if only you had asked, oh well’. They both laughed.

“Okay, now you’re usually not one for gossip,” Y/N started after they had drank some more of their wine and talked a little more about the music, “So what’s your gossip. Spill.”

“So you know the bird at the coffee shop down the street, who started working there last week?” Harry started excitedly. Y/N finished her sip and nodded seriously, curious to hear what Harry had to gossip about that concerned this woman. “Well, today she told me my coffee was on the house, and then when my black coffee was ready it had her name on it and her number!”

“That’s forward,” Y/N mused, her tone wasn’t necessarily judgemental, but it definitely wasn’t ecstatic as Harry had expected when he had decided to tell Y/N the story.

“What? Would you not have liked that if someone had done that for you?” Harry asked, genuinely wondering what made Y/N not be her usual excited self. She was also a hopeless romantic, so he had thought she would have loved this.

“I mean, I guess I would have been flattered, but you’re not seriously considering taking her out? C’mon, Harry, she obviously knows who you are,” Y/N paused, trying not to sound like a total asshole, “Just, if I were you, I would always be wary of people’s true intentions before I started anything.”

Harry sighed and took a long gulp of his wine, decreasing the amount in the glass significantly. Soon, he’d need a refill. “I know that...but she seems so sweet and I haven’t been out with anyone in awhile. Romantically.” He added the last word after a beat, like it needed clarification that when he went out with Y/N it wasn’t something romantic. She twitched and shifted in her seat, trying to push away the negative feelings she got when Harry made that distinction.

“Okay, if you’re that desperate for someone then go for it,” you said not fully realizing the exact words coming out of your mouth. Your mouth dropped when you processed what you had just said. Harry looked at you with slight disbelief. “I didn’t mean it in that way, Harry. I just-”

“No, I got what you meant. You think this woman is just using me for attention and that I’m so starved of any romantic connection that I’m willing to be used. Have you ever thought about why I’m so starved of any romantic life? Maybe because I’m always hanging out with my alleged best friend who never approves of anyone I bring up.” Harry sounded hurt. Y/N felt terrible. He set down his glass and shifted to face her more fully, his face set in a good amount of anger.

“That’s not fair, H,” Y/N sighed and placed her glass on the coffee table. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You give your heart away so easily and then people just end up taking advantage of you and hurting you. And I hate seeing you hurt. Because I’m the one who is always there to pick up the pieces.”

“Why are you always there though, Y/N? Why do you stick by my side when I’m always apparently making the wrong love choices?” Harry asks, his tone rising to something that was almost aggressive.

“Because you’re my best friend, Harry!” Y/N laughed incredulously. She was in disbelief that Harry would even ask her such a question. It was strange that their evening of fun had escalated into this nightmarish confrontation.

“That’s not enough,” Harry insisted, forcing them to continue the conversation. The conversation the two of them had never thought they needed to have. “You’re right, you’re always there to mend my broken heart. And you always discourage me from going for risky romances. And you never talk about any potential people for you? Why?”

“You’re my best friend! I don’t know what else you want me to say? What do you want me to say, Harry?”

“You know what I’m asking, Y/N.” And just like that, Harry turned from aggressive to pleading. He wanted her to say what he had always thought about her, but had never pushed it because she was his best friend. His jade-toned eyes were glassy and wide, begging for her to answer truthfully.

Y/N gripped her jaw in place at Harry’s pleading words. She raked both her hands through her hair and couldn’t believe what Harry was saying right now. Finally, she sighed when she risked a glance towards Harry’s face. It turned everything around for her, she couldn’t hide from that face. She couldn’t hide from Harry, ever.

“Because, I love you. I love you, Harry, in more than a best friend way. Happy now? That was literally the most unromantic way to tell someone you love them, but you asked for it,” she shook her head and threw herself against the couch, flailing her arms slightly in exasperation.

Harry moved himself to Y/N’s side and moved her so that she was looking at him. He rested his hand against her cheekbone, and stayed and cradled her face right there.

“I love you, too. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you. It just...something made me press the subject. It wasn’t very kind of me.” He rushed to say, instantly feeling conflicted. He was overjoyed and relieved at Y/N’s revelation, but also felt guilt for the way it had come about. He had been the one to escalate the conversation.

“I didn’t mean to call you desperate,” Y/N said softly as she raised her own hand to Harry’s face. “You aren’t desperate. You’re amazing and wonderful. You love with your whole heart and anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

“Darling, you’re the one someone would be lucky to be with.” Harry brushed a stray hair behind her ear and moved his face closer to hers.

“We could be lucky together?” Y/N whispered as his nose brushed up against hers. Harry blew a short breath out of his nose, hitting Y/N’s face. “I’d like that,” he responded.

Then he leaned the rest of the way and connected his lips with hers. She pressed back eagerly tasting the red wine on Harry’s lips. As they kissed, Harry felt something wet slightly touch his face.

He pulled back slightly, “Are you crying, petal?”

Y/N sniffled, “I just, I never thought this would happen. I’m happy...it’s just a lot.”

Harry nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist. “C’mere, we can just be here in this moment, together.”

Harry pulled Y/N into his lap and settled back into the couch. Her head rested softly on his shoulder and she ran a hand up and down his muscled arm. It was smooth and soft, and it radiated heat. Harry’s presence was always soothing, but especially helpful right now. Y/N calmed down, significantly, while in his arms.

“So does that mean you won’t call that bird?”

“No, no, I will definitely...not call her.” Harry chuckled at her question. He was happy that she was feeling more like herself, sarcastic and bubbly.

The pair sat snuggled on Harry’s couch, taking in each other’s presence as “Sara Smile” by Hall & Oates played softly through the speakers. They both smiled and sang softly along to the words. Happy in one another’s embrace.

-

taglist: @cronias13​ @theresthingsthatwellneverknow​ @harrys-cherrry​ @harrxier​ @sltwins​ @awesomebooklover17​ @harrys-stan​

[phantomnostalgist]

My review of The Phantom of Manhattan, 1999

Digging through the Wayback Machine, I found what I once wrote about Frederick Forsyth's Phantom of Manhattan. Y'know, the pile of crap ALW did in fact improve when creating Love Never Dies.

This is what I posted on my website circa 2005, posting what I'd written when the book was published in 1999. I'm not even going to re-read it, I'm just going to paste it, in case I cringe and want to edit it. But from my brief skim read, I lolled. Also, I never got beyond reading the first few chapters, I hated it that much. I gave my copy to another phan, so she could throw it against the wall and scream too.

The Phantom of Manhattan, aka, a pile of pigshit

Frederick Forsyth collaborated with Andrew Lloyd Webber on this novel, a sequel to The Phantom of the Opera (a novel in which the lead character dies at the end), published in 1999. At the time I posted my initial review to the Phantom mailing list - only the introduction and first chapter, because after that it became too painful. I present those posts below. They are, needless to say, opinionated.

Date: Mon, 26 Jul 1999 19:54:29 -0700

From: Christine Daae

Subject: POTO: Phantom of Manhattan preview - BAD news

I have just obtained an advance reading copy of The Phantom of Manhattan, the Phantom sequel by Frederick Forsyth which will form the basis of ALW's sequel to the show, if he ever writes it. This sequel was written working with Andrew Lloyd Webber.

So far I've just read Forsyth's preface, and it made me so angry and so sick to my stomach that I have to rant before reading any further. I'll give this post a swear words warning since I doubt I can write it without swearing a lot. If you don't like swearing, you've been warned. Mr Forsyth, in his preface, introduces the reader to the Leroux novel - and then graces us with the information that Leroux was "wrong". He acknowledges it as fiction but clearly feels that the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical is in fact the definitive version, and Leroux is incorrect and stupid. For instance: "He appears also to have made an error with the position, appearance and intelligence of Mme. Giry, an error corrected in the Lloyd Webber musical." Excuse me, fuckhead, but Leroux invented the character. Forsyth also tells us at length how implausible the story as told by the Persian is, as well as: "Prior to the intervention of the Persian, Leroux the writer and most readers might have felt some human sympathy for the Phantom.... The Persian however paints him as a raging sadist, a serial killer and strangler for pleasure" etc, etc. Did we read the same book? According to Forsyth, however, "Fortunately there is one flaw in the Persian's story so glaring as to permit us to disbelieve the whole lot. He claimed that Erik had had a long and fulfulling life before coming to dwell in the cellars of the opera house... [fills in background of Erik from novel]. This allegation has to be nonsense. If the man had enjoyed such a life over so many years he would certainly have come to terms with his own disfigurement." Along with more piffle disputing Leroux's story. Dear me Mr Forsyth, you should have read Susan Kay's version too. She has no difficulty giving us a far more psychologically accurate portrait of the Phantom than this pigcrap.

"The only logical step for a modern analyst to take, as Andrew Lloyd Webber has already done with the musical, is to discount the Persian's accounts and allegations in their totality, and never more so than in disbelieving both the Persian and Leroux than the Phantom died shortly after the events narrated."

He does not, however, tell us WHY one should assume this. Oh, silly me, the answer to that is obvious - so we can write a sequel and make a bucket of money from it. Can't do that with a dead Phantom.

I am so sickened that it's difficult for me to even start reading this book. How DARE Forsyth, and Lloyd Webber, insult and write off Leroux in this manner? ALW should remember that if it wasn't for Leroux's novel he would not have his billions from his most popular and successful show. I sincerely hope that one day someone mutilates one of Forsyth's novels in this manner.

I'll review the story itself when I can cope with reading the book. I never expected just a preface to be quite this angering.

Date: Tue, 27 Jul 1999 03:09:45 -0700

From: Christine Daae

Subject: POTO: Phantom of Manhattan Chapter 1

Just finished chapter 1 and have to get this out of my system or I'll never be able to get to sleep.

It gets worse, and worse, and worse.

Mr. Forsyth has taken the liberty of dating the action of the novel (or rather the show, since he ignores the novel) later than usual, in 1893. In 1882, in his version of events, Mme Giry finds and rescues the 16 year old Erik, who has been chained in a cage for 9 years. This makes him 27 during the action of the novel and show. As we know, Leroux's Erik was over 50. Lloyd Webber's original intention for the musical was also clearly to have an older Erik as the casting of Michael Crawford (and Colm Wilkinson in his very first try-out) shows. Yet according to Forsyth, and apparently now ALW, he was just 27. He had never lived in Persia, never travelled the world. He is given the name Erik Muhlheim. He was born not in a village near Rouen, but in the Alsace, to circus folk. His father was a drunk who beat him, his mother a useless fool. He learned his many skills at the circus, or later, at the opera house. Giry rescues him and keeps him in her home for a month, before letting him into the Opera House where he builds himself a home by the lake and learns all about music. Oh yes, and the bath Giry gave him was the first he'd taken in his life.

Sorry, but Susan Kay's description of Erik's past is far more accurate to Leroux and far more psychologically convincing.

Buquet killed himself, we learn. Erik did not mean to kill Piangi (who is not even in the novel), it was an accident, he just meant to silence him (with a rope??). At the end of the show Giry finds Erik and hides him out, then sends him to New York on a boat.

I am summoning up the courage to begin Chapter 2, narratted by Erik Muhlheim himself in New York.

I wish there was a law against this.

And remember, all ye who felt that ALW would never let Hollywood do anything bad to the show - ALW himself helped Forsyth come up with this trash.

[livlaughlfc]

ben assumes you did something, but you didn't and you get mad at him for not trusting you

Hello! I’m so sorry for the super long wait!! I hope whoever requested this gets to read this now. Thank you for requesting! 

Will You Wait For Me? 

“What the hell is this then?” Ben yelled at you in the dining room as he showed you his phone. It was a story the Daily Mail was running about Ben’s alleged falling out with one of his friends Josh, except it wasn’t just a speculation in reality; it was the truth idk if Ben actually has a friend named Josh I made it up oops. He and Josh broke off their friendship after a pretty vicious argument about how his friend was take advantage of Ben for his money. 

“I don’t know!” you yelled back. “I can’t believe you would accuse me of selling a story about your personal life to the press, Ben. Do you not trust me?” You couldn’t believe you were arguing about something that, to you, seemed so obviously untrue. 

In fact, you were having a wonderful day before Ben came home: he left for training in the morning after giving you a quick kiss, you were surprisingly super productive at work today, and you even scored a free coffee at your favorite cafe. You were singing and dancing in the kitchen as you cooked dinner, thinking nothing could go wrong, until Ben came home red in the face accusing you of selling the story to the Daily Mail because you were, according to Ben, “the only one who knew the details about what he said to piss me off.” 

“Then how come the Daily Mail knows how much I paid for my vacation to Ibiza?” Ben retaliated. 

“You act like I’m the only one who would know!” 

“Well, you were the only one who I told those details to, so who else would?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe Josh, the friend who took advantage of you?” you asked rhetorically. “I wasn’t the one you went to Ibiza with, Ben. I wasn’t the one who took advantage of you, so obviously even though I’m the only one you told those details to, I wouldn’t be the only one who knows them!” 

Something seemed to click in Ben’s mind as he remembered texting Josh about splitting the cost and telling him how much it would cost. In fact, it was when Josh refused to split the cost that Ben had finally had enough and confronted him. His face immediately softened, and his shoulders relaxed as his eyes met yours. 

“Babe ––” 

“Ben, I can’t believe you would accuse me of doing something so terrible!” you said in a stern voice. 

“I’m sorry, please ––” 

“Oh, you’re sorry?” you said, interrupting him. “Sorry for what? For not trusting me? For yelling at me before you let me speak?” 

“Please, babe, I’m really sorry” Ben said. “I clearly wasn’t thinking, and I know I made a mistake. I guess after that fight with Josh, I wasn’t sure who to trust” There was a genuine panic in his eyes as he tried to approach you, but with every step towards you, you backed away. 

“God, Ben, who do you take me for?” you asked. “I get that maybe you wouldn’t know which of your friends to trust after that fight with Josh, but we’ve been dating for, what, 3 years now? How could you possibly think so lowly of me after everything we’ve been through?” 

Ben knew how much this hurt you. As a high-profile athlete, he was incredibly guarded about his private life, especially to people who weren’t famous themselves, so you went above and beyond to prove to him that you weren’t after his fame or money, but rather the silly, down-to-earth, and dedicated man he was. 

Convincing him wasn’t easy, though, and it came with its own insecurities. Initially, when Ben kept you at an arm’s distance, you kept questioning whether or not he genuinely loved you and blamed yourself and your shortcomings for his guardedness. 

You finally thought that the two of you were finally past that phase of your relationship, but clearly while you were, Ben was not. It was clear that he still didn’t fully trust you, and after three years of trying to prove to him you were genuine, there was nothing more you could do. You weren’t going to keep fighting an endless uphill battle. 

“Ben,” you started after a moment of silence, “seeing how quick you were to jump to conclusions about me and my commitment to this relationship, I think we need to reconsider it altogether.” 

Ben stood on the other side of the table in shock. He couldn’t believe the words you just said. 

“Wha – what do you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘what do you mean’?” you asked. “I’m saying that until you understand that I’m genuine about you and this relationship, I’m tired of being the only one committed to this relationship. We need a break.”

“Babe, please, I AM committed to this relationship.” Ben said.

“Really? If you were, then you would have trusted me and known in your gut that I would NEVER betray you like that.” You sighed as you took a big pause. “If you were as committed to this relationship as I am, I wouldn’t be the only one pouring my heart out as you continue to keep me at an arm’s distance.” 

Ben stood there in silence. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew deep down that he wasn’t as emotionally vulnerable or ready to be in a relationship with someone who wears their heart on their sleeve the way you did. He knew he was in the wrong and that he has been for some time now. 

“I know it’s not something that changes overnight just because you want it to,” you said. “But I think we need to take a break and you can work on whatever it is you need to work on to be ready for me. because I’m just so exhausted from being in a one-sided relationship like this.” 

You took Ben’s silence as an agreement and quickly picked up your things to leave, but as you were grabbing your scarf, Ben stopped you in your tracks. 

“I know I have some things I need to work on, and I promise I will, but will you wait for me until I have?” he asked with pleading eyes that you couldn’t meet. You simply wrapped your scarf around you in silence not knowing what to say. 

Ben took your silence as a no, and his hands dropped to his sides in hopelessness. All the sunshine in his life that you personified seemed to be slipping through his fingers, and there was nothing he could do to grab onto it. 

You made your way towards the front door, but before you walked out, you turned out and murmured something that Ben barely heard, but it still made Ben look up from the ground and his heart start beating again: 

“Yes.”