#he bitches about his ex wife in the song

[synthaphone]

okay so i started making this but then i realized that there is a critical flaw: I skip every Ben Folds ex-wife song that isn’t a banger because i don’t have the patience for that. someone else will have to finish this for me

[love-belle]

today and tomorrow and every day after that !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them pretending as if they haven't already made it till forever.

or

for when it'll be them today, tomorrow and then a day after that. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader

prequel - i should hate you ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - it's 3am and im tired. thank u and i hope u like it <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, carmenmmundt and 789,416 others

yourusername his big wet eyes and loser personality have captivated me

tagged maxverstappen1

7,628 comments

username STFU OMG

username NO WAY SHE POSTED HIM AFTER MONTHS FOR RADIO SILENCE

username GIRL WHAT

username kinda hypocritical of u to go back to ur ex after yelling at us to fuck him (figuratively)

-> yourusername sorry bb he cried until i gave in

-> maxverstappen1 stop spreading lies

username the way i js relaxed and it wasn't even my relationship like DAMN

username im a child of TOGETHER parents

username i need this

danielricciardo i better be the godfather of your vaginal demons

-> yourusername pls take back ur bf heidiberger_

-> heidiberger_ timeout. NOW.

-> maxverstappen1 why only HER vaginal demons. i helped too

-> danielricciardo yeah for like 2 seconds

-> yourusername STOP TALKING ABT MT VAGINAL DEMONS

-> yourusername oh god

-> username "i helped too" LMFAOAOAOAN WTF

maxverstappen1 this is cyber bullying

-> yourusername stfu i love those photos like fetus maximus ❤️

-> maxverstappen1 that's not my name and you know it

-> yourusername honestly u should he HONOURED that u share a name with maximus the horse 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

username who needs reality tv when u have this comments section

username everyday i discover something entirely new about this whole group and atp im not even surprised

username don't post me unless the caption is "his big wet eyes and loser personality have captivated me"

maxverstappen1 i don't have a loser personality

-> yourusername u wear skinny jeans

-> username gagged him

-> username no bc they need to GO

maxverstappen1 okay but i could be your loser boyfriend, you ever think of that?

-> yourusername ur already my loser husband wdym

-> danielricciardo GIRL

-> maxverstappen1 wow

-> yourusername oh

-> yourusername haha surprise people

-> username say what the fuck now

-> username istg if i find out that they're MARRIED after WEEKS of agony and pain i will riot

maxverstappen1 you suck at keeping secrets

-> yourusername u suck in general

-> maxverstappen1 real mature

username i'd die for them and they don't even know me

username WHATTHEFYCK

username i did not see this coming wtfff

username WHEN WAS THIS.

username no bc the fact that they STILL don't follow each other is HILARIOUS

username giggling rn he's so babygirl i love him

lilymhe run away with me

-> yourusername absolutely

-> maxverstappen1 aren't you MY wife

-> lilymhe divorce exists

-> yourusername she has a point

username im paralysed like WHAT DO U MEAN THEY'RE MARRIED

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 895,315 others

maxverstappen1 something about how i'd marry you with paper rings and in this case, a string (or $1 rings from vending machine)

tagged yourusername

9,628 comments

maxverstappen1 i did not write the caption

-> maxverstappen1 y/n wrote this caption

-> yourusername i did not write this caption

username bitches be crying bc two people who do not know her at all are being cute and parents i am bitches

username she can spit on me

-> username she can ruin me actually

username nah ur not ginna distract us w this post WE NEED ANSWERS

-> username FRRRR LIKE WDYM UR HER HUSBAND

username pretty people (max and y/n) ruining it for the others (me)

username last slide made my heart crack

charles_leclerc i have heard you sing that little song to yourself. you wrote this caption.

-> maxverstappen1 i hope you like my rear

-> yourusername no bc he actually does

-> charles_leclerc i mean...

-> maxverstappen1 are we about to kiss right now?

-> alexandrasaintmleux does this mean......yourusername

-> yourusername babe come over ❤️

-> username what in the world is happening in this comments section

username everyday i wake up against my will and lose a part of myself knowing that my wife was snatched up by a vroom vroom mutation

username max it's ok to love ur wife!!!!!!!! we do too!!!!!!!!

-> maxverstappen1 she's not my wife. referring to her as such damages my reputation

-> yourusername i hope u like the doghouse

-> maxverstappen1 fun fact! we don't have a dog

-> yourusername new fact! now we do

-> maxverstappen1 uh

-> username i live for y/n terrorizing max every moment of the day

username nah my eyes are js overflowing with fluid im not crying 😂😂😂😂😂

username someone sedate me...........is max being romantic (?????????) on the main

username this is the peak of my existence

username lord what have i done wrong

danielricciardo as if you're not literally sitting on her lap right now

-> maxverstappen1 she tripped me

-> yourusername u literally told me that u would commit heinous crimes if i didn't let u sit on my lap

-> maxverstappen1 you tripped me

-> username i need to put his brain under a microscope and js SEE

-> username no bc how he goes from point a to point b needs to be scientifically studied

username don't mind me js going crazy over the fact that my parents MAY be married

yourusername u told me that i was the one who should propose

-> maxverstappen1 yes

-> yourusername and then snatched my ring and proposed to ME with MY ring

-> maxverstappen1 yes

-> yourusername yeah lemme js 🧠🔬

yourusername in any case, the answer would be fuck no ❤️

-> maxverstappen1 i'm calling christian and telling him that you're bullying his first driver.

yourusername IT'S A LOVE STORY BABY JS SAY YES!!!!!!!! (yes)

-> maxverstappen1 uh, i already asked charles_leclerc so...

-> charles_leclerc sorry

-> yourusername homwrecker

-> charles_leclerc there was no home to wreck

-> yourusername yeah i'll js sing boyfriend by dove cameron to alex instead

username this comments section is what keeps me up at night

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by maxverstappen1, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 1,527,278 others

yourusername babygirl u are a very freak and strange. i am deeply in love with u. all jokes aside, we made it. i know we got married like weeks ago but marrying u like FOR REAL has been the most beautiful moment of my life. i wanna spend everyday with u, in this life and all the others. vegas was a trip but even then, it was perfect with u, the one i was marrying and as taylor swift said "i like shiny things but i'd marry u with paper rings" or in our case, $1 rings from the vending machine. i wanna go to museums with u and point to pictures with weird guys and say "that's u". i wanna dance in the kitchen with u. i wanna look back after decades at all these memories and laugh, knowing that my now-self made the best decision. i love u even if u have me saved as "DO NOT ANSWER ❌" in ur phone. i think forever would be nice with u or till death do us apart (or someone in a suit if this escalates to a divorce).

tagged maxverstappen1

11,628 comments

username give me a minute. or a year

username hahahahahahaha PAUSE.

username no bc i missed the WHOLE BOOK instead of chapters

username and this is how they managed to break the f1 fandom

username PLEASE IM CRYING WHATCTYENFUCK

username they 😭 got 😭 married 😭

username IM CRYING WHATTTEYEGDHDJD

carmenmmundt all my love to both of you !! i love you and you deserve nothing but happiness 🤍 thank you so much for letting me be a part of your special day

-> yourusername carmen 🤍🤍🤍 u own my heart and thank UUUUUU for being a part of my big day

username "i think forever would be nice with u or till death do us apart (or someone in a suit if this escalates to a divorce)" y/n y/l/n how does it feel to be the most hilarious person ever 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

username im in SHAMBLES rn what the fuck

username someone sedate me bc there's NO way this is real

landonorris good luck because he's with you till you decompose

-> maxverstappen1 i'll go with her into the afterlife too like who the fuck she trying to meet there

-> yourusername bold of u to assume you'd even get in

-> maxverstappen1 is this what married life is like???

username i am unwell

username "i wanna go to museums with u and point to pictures with weird guys and say "that's u"" THIS IS TRUE LOVE

username and adding onto my 262728292 reasons

username the caption has me shaking on the floor gasping for breath

username i have PRAYED for times like these

username FUCJ YESHSHHSJSJSJS

danielricciardo the best night even though i don't remember any of it

-> yourusername u tried to set our marriage certificate on fire saying "it's set in stone now"

-> danielricciardo doing god's work

-> username no bc y/nmax nation would be in RUINS if it weren't for daniel

username sobbing they're soooo parents now it's crazy

username i js woke up whatcthebfufk

username AHSHSJJKKSSKAKSJSJKS

maxverstappen1 never changing your contact name

-> yourusername this is so not sexie new husband of u

maxverstappen1 we look lovely

-> yourusername yes we do

maxverstappen1 mrs. y/l/n-verstappen

-> yourusername mr. verstappen-y/l/n

username YELLING THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

username screeching when will it be my turn

username never ever ever getting over this caption

username this will go down in history for YEARS to come

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,128,268 others

maxverstappen1 never really did sappy posts but this means the world to me and i guess there's a first (???) time for everything. all i can say is that i truly cannot wait to spend all my days with you and go to sleep thinking that i can't wait to do it again tomorrow. and i think, there's nothing more lovelier than that. you once told me that i deserved the world, i hope we get to see it together. i wanna hear how your day was, today and tomorrow and every day after that. but before getting to all those tomorrows, here's to our forever that's summed up for me in a small moment.

tagged yourusername

13,628 comments

username shut up and think about what u did

username i can't cry im in class WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME

username no bc this is literally my last straw ENOUGH

username "here's to our forever that's summed up for me in a small moment" THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE AND IT MADE ME SOB

username no bc he had no RIGHT to post this

username girlypop im still recovering from y/n's post give me 4-5 business years

username not cool max verstappen not COOL.

username tears are streaming down my face what the actual fuck

landonorris okay i shed a few tears

-> maxverstappen1 mate you were sobbing while giving your speech

-> landonorris I SUFFERED THE MOST OKAY

-> username no bc lando is their ACTUAL child of divorce

username this is ASTRONOMICAL like this is INSANE

username the bar is so high it js looks like a dash at this point

username everyone go home. max js won

-> maxverstappen1 winning on and off track

-> yourusername u cried when i beat u in mario kart

-> maxverstappen1 I CAN'T DRIVE

-> yourusername UR A PROFESSIONAL DRIVER

username further proof of if he wanted to he would

username "i truly cannot wait to spend all my days with you and go to sleep thinking that i can't wait to do it again tomorrow" js take me swiftly and now

username IN LOVE WITH THEIR WEDDING AESTHETIC LIKE IT EATS SO HARD

username i've prayed for times like these ❤️

charles_leclerc can't believe you would cheat on me

-> maxverstappen1 might just leave her for you

-> yourusername is this a bad time to tell u both that im already seeing someone???? alexandrasaintmleux

-> alexandrasaintmleux my angel ❤️

-> charles_leclerc wait a minute

-> maxverstappen1 now hold on

username live for men are unapologetically in love with their partners like there's nothing more sexy than that

username liar every single post abt y/n has been a sappy post

-> maxverstappen1 she holds me hostage every time

-> yourusername divorce papers look so sexy rn

username IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG JOURNEY Y'ALL WE MADE IT

username my babies ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo tell lando i'm the godfather

-> landonorris he WON'T because you're NOT

-> maxverstappen1 guys we don't even have a baby

-> danielricciardo obviously we're talking about the future. your swimmers ain't THAT competitive unlike you

-> yourusername BAHAHAHAHA PLEASE UR SO WRONG FOR THAT

-> maxverstappen1 and you're officially out of the godfather contestants

username need a documentary on this like my life depends on this bc it DOES

username i never will be moving on from this post

yourusername i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u

-> maxverstappen1 likewise

-> yourusername yeah i'll just

*yourusername deleted this comment*

yourusername ty

-> maxverstappen1 have a sense of humour

-> yourusername i married u what's funnier than THAT

-> username CLEARED HIM

-> username LFMSOAOAOAO

yourusername nice caption, wonder who edited it 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

-> maxverstappen1 i don't know, this girl who follows me everywhere and calls me maximus

-> yourusername she sounds cute

-> maxverstappen1 yeah, she really is

yourusername nvm idgaf I LOVEEEEEE YOU

-> maxverstappen1 i love you more

yourusername husband

-> maxverstappen1 wife

username giggling rn im sooooo happy

username i will show this to my kids

[drvscarlett]

The Tortured Drivers' Department

— combining another one of my favorites. I'll be taking notes and writing fics about which TTPD song do I associate with the drivers ( + I will be including the retired ones). This is the main list and I'll be linking them when I finished writing them. Let me know if you wanna be tagged

Also give TTPD a listen. Its so beautiful and a masterpiece

Fortnight

— i love you, its ruining my life (Lewis Hamilton x Mercedes!reader)

The Tortured Poets Department 

— At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding (Pierre Gasly x ex!reader)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 

— 'Cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart left all these broken parts (Lando Norris x reader)

Down Bad

— Fuck it if I can't have him (Charles Leclerc x kpop idol!reader)

So Long, London

— You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? (George Russell x secret girlfriend! reader)

But Daddy I Love Him

— "I'm having his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces (Alex Albon x Horner!reader)

Fresh Out the Slammer

— Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you (Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader)

Florida!!! (feat. Florence + the Machine) 

—I need to forget, so take me to Florida (Logan Sargeant x heiress!reader)

Guilty as Sin?

—What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? (Oscar Piastri x bestfriend!reader)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

— I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean (Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

— they shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I tell 'em he's my man (Daniel Ricciardo x longtime girlfriend!reader)

loml

— Oh, what a valiant roar. What a bland goodbye. The coward claimed he was a lion (Max Verstappen x childhood sweetheart!reader)

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart 

— Lights, camera, bitch, smile (Zhou Guanyu x model!reader)

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

— And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive (Yuki Tsunoda x Actress!reader)

The Alchemy

—'Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me (Kimi Räikkönen x assistant!reader)

Clara Bow

— This town is fake, but you're the real thing (Sebastian Vettel x Ferrari heir!reader)

The Black Dog

— I am someone who, until recent events you shared your secrets with (Mick Schumacher x driver!reader

imgonnagetyouback

— I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch (Fernando Alonso x wife!reader)

The Albatross

— She's the albatross, she is here to destroy you (Jenson Button x revenger!reader)

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

—So if I sell my apartment and you have some kids with an internet starlet. Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon? (Carlos Sainz x Vasseur!reader)

How Did It End?

— The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling (Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri)

So High School

—You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her (Charles Leclerc x reader ft Max Verstappen x childhood friend!reader)

I Hate It Here

—I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind (Kimi Räikkönen x interviewer! reader)

thanK you aIMee

— And then she wrote headlines in the local paper laughing at each baby step I'd take (Mark Webber x reader)

I Look in People’s Windows

—What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time (Sebastian Vettel x reader)

The Prophecy

—Don't want money, just someone who wants my company (Pierre Gasly x politician's daughter!reader)

Cassandra

—So they killed Cassandra first cause she feared the worst (Lewis Hamilton x wife!reader)

Peter

— Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold onto the days when you were mine (Lando Norris x reader)

The Bolter

— "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" (Max Verstappen x hollywood starlet!reader)

Robin

— You have no room in your dreams for regrets (Oscar Piastri x girlfriend!reader)

The Manuscript

—One last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I re-read the manuscript. But the story isn't mine anymore (Carlos Sainz x McLaren employee!reader)

[lust-for-ultraviolence]

Helluva Boss pride picture:

The obnoxious owl strutted about beside his "impish plaything". Blitzø looked in the rear view mirror and said "oh shit, isn't that your bitch-ass fucking ex-wife?". Stolas turned to see that trailing behind the small pride parade was none other than Stella, wrapped in a lesbian flag. Stolas immediately started crying, "why is that meeanie here!?". After everyone consoled Stolas because he's the only one that matters, he approached his ex. Octavia tried to hug her mom, but stolas pushed her away.

"What are you here for? To torture me some more?" asked Stolas, whom was crying yet again. Stella looked at him, bewildered. "Are you serious? You think I'm in a pride parade to bother YOU? I'm here because I'm gay!" She huffed, trying to shove past the self centred cry baby. "Noooo! I'm the gay one! You're a homophobic straight woman" Stolas whined. Stella had had it with this guy. "You think you're the only gay person to be forced into a shitty, empty, straight marriage?? I've had to hide who I am just as much as you have! Where's MY sympathy? Where's MY song?" She shouted. The whole parade was watching in awkward silence.

Octavia succefully re-approached the pair, and hugged Stella tightly. "Oh mum, I'm so sorry. It must be so painful for you. Come up front with me. Let's be proud of who we are together". She said. Stella beamed at her daughter and walked away without another look at stolas. "But lesbians aren't important!" Stolas started crying. Suddenly, right as Stolas was going to break out into a whiny song, he was trampled by a horse. The rider of the horse held a huge nonbinary flag. Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie gasp as the nonbinary rider is none other than Striker. He slows the horse just for a moment and says, "fuck you all for not including nonbinary people" and rode off into the sunset, the beautiful flag trailing behind him.

Lmao I'm sorry I'm not a writer but I thought this was funny. I also read a post about, like, what if Stella is a lesbian/Sapphic? And I just HAD to make this happen.

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part nineteen

authors note: the infamous chapter is finally here! a lot of questions you all have asked me are finally answered. i hope it's enjoyable and worth the wait!

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: angst (discussion of child loss), language, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 10k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @southerngirl41 @wanderingreigns @romanreignsbae

To say your 2024 Bingo card has been filled with nothing but surprises would be the understatement of the century.

The past six months, really, have been mostly wonderful but also chaotic as hell.

And if someone had told you, way back when it was just you and Joe in your own little fantasy world, that his wife would one day text you in the middle of the night, wanting to meet and join forces to combat your apparently psycho-ex best friend, you’d laugh your ass off. Laugh your ass off harder than a guest at a Katt Williams special.

But, life is funny, and God clearly has a sense of humor, because that’s exactly what happened.

It’s also why you’re sitting on Joe’s bathroom counter at 4am as he finishes up in the shower, readying for his early flight.

“I’m sorry, it completely slipped my mind to tell you I gave her your number.” Joe shuts the water off, and you immediately redirect your attention to anywhere but him as he walks out. It’s bad enough you two didn’t have enough time to get in another session before his departure, but it’s another thing to be so cruelly taunted by your sexy ass man in all his buff, your favorite pastime on fully display but unable to be touched.

Sucked.

Rode.

All of the above.

Joe continues, and your eyes land on him just as he’s knotting the towel around his waist.

“I should have asked you before I did so, but with everything going on—”

“You don’t have to apologize, Joe.” Cutting off his unnecessary apology feels like a good move, the right move. You’re not mad at him about that at all. “I know you would have never done so if you believed she had any ill intent.” And it’s the truth, especially on the eve of this Mariah mess. “Sure, I would have liked a heads up that my boyfriend’s ex-wife would be texting me asking to meet and essentially do an interview together, but it wasn’t a necessity.”

He chuckles, looking over and asking, “what are your thoughts there?”

A heavy sigh leaves your mouth at his equally heavy question. “I don’t know. I feel torn. On one hand, it’s kinda weird, ya know? Truth be told, I always figured if by some miracle I ever spoke to her, she’d try to kick my ass sooner than she’d want to grab dinner.” You quickly add, “emphasis on try because ain’t no bitch beating my ass.”

He chuckles, reaching for his deodorant. “Well, you better not be fighting nobody with my baby in you.”

Rolling your eyes, your hand naturally rests on your stomach. “I know, I just….what do you think?”

“I think you should do whatever makes you most comfortable.”

“None of this is comfortable,” you murmur, and it’s the truth. This whole thing sucks all around. “And that’s not an answer.”

He shrugs. “I can’t tell you what to do, babe.”

“Technically, you can, but you’re choosing not to. There’s a difference.”

Joe moves over and caresses your temple, sharing quietly, “I want you and Callie to come down to Philly a few days before WrestleMania. They’ll put me up in an Airbnb. I’ll make sure it’s big enough for all of us.” 

The abrupt change of topic confuses you, yes, but there’s more excitement at the thought of being reunited with him than bewilderment. It brings a small smile to your face. “Are you sure?” Any chance to see Joe will always be taken advantage of, you just don’t want your and Callie’s visiting him at such a time to cause any sort of distraction.  “I don’t want us to get in the way. You need to focus.”

“You two could never get in the way, and my focus is exactly where it should be.” His hand snakes under your shirt, feeling your soft belly. “I also want you to come to the Hall of Fame Awards with me.”

That definitely takes you by surprise. You’ve never attended any sort of formal, public event with him before, and the WWE Hall of Fame awards is like the event. “Are—are you sure that’s a good idea?” Being careful with your words and honest with yourself, you confess, “I’m not sure if it’s a good look for you to be seen so publicly and openly with me right now. Your fans already kinda hate me.”

Limiting your media consumption has been a saving grace in all this. Not that you were big on it to begin with. However, you have read a couple articles and made the even bigger mistake of reading the comments. To say some, if not most, of the internet wrestling community have nothing nice to say about you would be putting it lightly. 

There’s people cussing you out, people saying you should burn in hell for what you did, even some saying if Joe (Roman) loses at WrestleMania, it’ll be your fault.

That last one is at least a little funny to you, because for such big fans, they sure don’t know how WWE works.

Roman’s gonna retain the same way he has for almost three years. 

Ain’t shit stopping that.

“I told you before, and I’ll keep saying it until I’m blue in the face—I don’t give a fuck what they have to say about us. I love you, and I’m going to be with you, regardless of what anyone thinks. The Hall of Fame, Wrestlemania, hell, I’ll take you in the fucking ring with me if I want to.” His defense is so strong in its delivery and conviction that it almost instantly takes away any and all reservations on your end. “And they’re not fans if they have some negative shit to say about the woman I love.”

“Well, in their defense, Mariah did a damn good job making me out to be some Jezebel.”

“That’s partially why I think you should do the Live with Jadah.” His tone and expression soften, thumb rubbing against your stomach. “They don’t know you like I do, and they don’t need to per se, but they can at least see you’re not what she’s made you out to be.” He brings his mouth to your temple, lips lingering. “They can see why I love you so much.”

“Knew you had an opinion on what you think I should do.” But, regardless, you’re thankful for him truly allowing you to decide what is best for you. And you think you have. With a big breath, you settle on your final answer. “I’m gonna do it, but not even to let people see I’m not this horrible person. I just….I haven’t really had a chance to use my voice in any of this. Like…..” You work hard to help him understand where you’re coming from. “I didn’t have a voice in the DCFS situation outside of defending my parenting, but in this….there’s a chance for me to speak my side, to be able to defend myself. And I feel like I need to do it.”

“I agree.” You’re not surprised. Joe is anything and everything, including forever supportive. “Ya’ll are gonna use my Instagram to do it too.”

“Wait, what?”

“Baby, Jadah doesn’t have any social media, and you don’t need all them damn people on your page, nor do you want that.” He’s right. You hadn’t thought of it that way. “Mariah had an audience. You get one too.” 

Fair. Very fair. “Okay.”

He taps your hip, informing. “I’ll leave you the login info." It sometimes still amazes you how much he trusts you, how easy it is for share so many things with you that are objectively personal. His banking information, his fucking social medias that are literally tied to his career.

It means the world for him to have so much trust in you.

“We’re going to Disney after Mania.” 

Joe is just full of surprises, jumping from subject to subject. “What? I thought we were going for Callie’s birthday.”

“We are, for a second time, but the first time is gonna be that Tuesday after Mania. A day for you and Callie to rest.” 

You’re still trying to settle on the fact that this man is proposing two Disney visits literally back to back when something else hits you. “Wait, the week after WrestleMania? Don’t you have to work?”

“I’ve got it handled,” is all he says, all he offers, all he provides. 

“Joe, what does that even mean? How does that work? How do you just win WrestleMania and disappear right after?” Something’s not adding up. There’s something he’s not telling you, and it pisses you off for a lot of reasons, but mostly because you just hate being kept in the dark. “Is it being written into the storyline or—”

“I’ve got it handled, okay?” His tone is exasperated, which you find ironic considering you’re the one on the receiving end of his vague ass answers. “Just….trust me.”

That’s a hard one. Not trusting him. That comes second nature at this point, but trusting him and not knowing if whatever he’s handled causes any sort of problems for him. You worry about any hits he might take sometimes because of his decisions that are usually for the sake of you and Callie.

It shouldn’t bother you, but it does, especially because you know how important his career is to him.

“What about you?” That’s your biggest concern. This man has been ripping and running for what feels like months. He deserves a vacation. He needs a vacation. If he’s gonna be off for a couple days at least, why not use them to recharge? “You need to rest too, Joe. I can tell you’re exhausted, baby. There’s no need for us to go twice. We can just stick with May for her birthday.”

He shakes his head, preparing a guaranteed disagreement. “You’re gonna be five months pregnant by then. You don’t need to be walking around a damn amusement park while that far along. I don’t know if you’ll even want to.”

“Baby, trust me when I tell you, I could be nine months pregnant, and I’m still going to waddle my big ass around that park. I’m fighting any kid that tries to get in my or Callie’s way.”

He shakes his head, muttering, “the May visit might not happen if your ass gets us banned.”

“I can behave,” you murmur, recognizing you’re being a bit dramatic. Just a smidge. Disney has been a dream visit since you were a kid, so there's an immense amount of excitement at going.

“And why are we going twice anyway?” Eyes narrowing in suspicion, you realize and point out, “you’re up to something, aren’t you?” He rolls his eyes but says nothing. “You are. Oh my God, Joe, you’ve already done so much for us, we don’t need anything else. I don’t need anything else.”

It’s the truth, too. Going to Disney twice in one year when some people never get to go at all is absolutely not a necessity. No matter whatever he clearly has planned that requires two trips.

Joe looks like he wants to say something but decides against it. Annoying ass. “It better not have anything to do with a damn dog.” He laughs. “Especially with me pregnant now. Two kids under the age of 5 is gonna be a lot in and of itself.” Since you’re already on the subject, you add, “I’ve been thinking maybe my mom can come stay with us a little after the baby is born? So, I can have some help when you can’t be there.”

There’s something in Joe's expression that gives you pause, like he wants to say something but decides against it. “And I mean, I’d be fine with your mom coming too, I just—another adult will be great.” You throw that out, an honest thing, thinking maybe he’s wondering why it always has to be your mom and not more of his side of the family.

Although deep down, you know that’s not it.

“Of course, whatever you want.” He kisses your forehead and moves away to finish getting ready to go.

As much as you don’t want to feel annoyed, you do. This is at least the second or third time you’ve tried to broach the subject of post-baby, and he’s been elusive, borderline dismissive. 

It’s hard to tell if it’s because he’s maybe nervous about something, if he truly doesn’t understand why you’re wanting to discuss this now, or something else, but regardless, it’s annoying.

And you don’t like it.

You don’t like it at all.

———-

Things happen fast in Florida, or maybe it’s just you and the reality show that your life has been the past week or so.

Because one minute you’re celebrating an unexpected but welcomed pregnancy, and the next you’re the subject of major media articles, publications, and news segments. Followed up with being hit up by your boyfriend’s ex-wife, the same wife he had when you first started sleeping with him.

The same woman who you’re anxiously awaiting to ring your doorbell at any minute now.

The silence of the large house doesn’t help either. You're greatly wishing you could be distracted by Callie’s loud singing, running around, laughter, something. But, you asked Alexis to take her out for a few hours for you, not wanting her to be around in the event that things turn ugly.

And that’s a bit of an irrational belief on your part.

You would have never invited her over, accepted her invitation, agreed to even meet with her if there was any thought in the back of your mind that she has any ulterior motives. In a weird twist of fate, you’re both kind of in the same position, the subject of all kinds of public scrutiny. Granted, from what you have seen on social media, majority of the people are on her “side.” Some going even as far as starting and using the hashtag #TeamJadah.

And you can understand that, understand why the public would “side” with the wife versus the mistress, but it’s also based upon a shit ton of Mariah’s lies and smear campaigns that have painted you in such an ugly light.

That’s ultimately why you’ve agreed to this, agreed to this highly uncomfortable team up, because it’s the only and best way to reclaim your voice.

To reclaim your narrative.

The sound of the doorbell ringing literally makes you jump from where you sit criss-crossed on the new expensive ass sofa Joe picked out for the house. It is comfortable though, and for a second, you almost choose to stay in the comfort of the sofa versus answering the door.

But, you know that’s not an option, for Jadah to fly out on such short notice only to be stood up by the other woman.

It’s not a good look.

Clearly.

So with a deep breath and quick mental pep talk, your feet carry you to the door that you unlock and hesitate only a second before opening.

Instantly, you’re hit with two things: the sweet smell of Jadah’s perfume and Jadah herself. Right off the bat, you can’t get over how gorgeous she is. Her deep complexion is absolutely flawless and moisturized as hell, thick eyebrows that frame her almost slender facial shape perfectly. Full lips pulled back into a sly smile. She’s wearing a pair of jeans and thin sleeved top that show off her shape, both slim and thick where it counts. 

She’s as drop dead gorgeous as you imagined her to be. You can’t be attractive as Joe is without someone to match your aura. 

“Well, let no one say Joe doesn’t have good taste. You’re even prettier in person.” 

Receiving compliments from your boyfriend’s ex-wife was also nowhere on your 2024 bingo card, but clearly all projections need to be discarded at this point with how many stunners have happened.

“Thank you.” It’s strange. You’ve always been super good with compliments, taking them at face value, because you know that you’re pretty, always having the high self-esteem to recognize as such. But, hearing it come from her of all people feels a little…..off. Like, she shouldn’t be complimenting you. “Umm, come in, please.” 

She does so, walking and looking around, almost inspecting. “This place is beautiful.”

All of the compliments are throwing you. It’s not what you were expecting. Then again, you’re not sure just what you were expecting. 

“Thanks. Do you…want some water or something?”

She shakes her head, “I’m good, thank you.” Jadah gestures with a manicured finger between the kitchen and the living room. “Preference?”

Shaking your head, you leave that up to her. “Whatever you like.”

She nods and heads into the living room, sitting down on the sofa where you just sat, anxiously awaiting her arrival. Wordlessly, you follow suit, sitting on the sofa opposite of her. 

“Thank you for agreeing to this,” she says, placing her purse on the coffee table. “I know me reaching out must have taken you for a loop.”

“A little.” A lot. But, she doesn’t need to know that. “I—I can understand why. I’m so sorry you got caught up in all of this.”

“One thing you don’t have to do is apologize. For any of this. For anything. From what Joe told me, this girl is just psycho and has some weird obsession with trying to ruin your life.”

Scoffing bitterly, you can’t find a point to disagree with. “That sounds about right….”

No one says anything for a good, solid minute. Or two.

“Okay, why don’t we get the awkward part over.” Her voice takes on a new tone, one similar to boredom and insouciance. “We both dated and slept with the same man. I happened to be married to said man when you started sleeping with him, but that shit doesn’t even matter, cause you already know what our deal was.”

The deal…..

No, you have no idea what the deal was. That’s part of why you’re happy to finally be talking to her, because you have so many questions. Granted, that’s not the reason she’s here in the first place but still.

Your facial expression must give away the confusion because Jadah’s indifferent tone shifts to something else, something more serious. “Y/N…..how much do you know about my marriage to Joe?”

It’s a bit difficult for you to navigate how honest you should or shouldn’t be with her. She’s a stranger for all intents and purposes, but given why you two are now even sitting across from each other, maybe honesty is the best option. “He’s never really said anything about you or his marriage, and I won’t lie to you, it’s not like I’ve made a lot of effort to find out.”

There’s a part of you that still struggles with a level of guilt for the intentionality you had at the beginning of dating Joe to not ask about his wife, to pretend that you didn't see the wedding band on his finger.

Avoidance makes justification a hell of a lot easier. 

She chuckles, gaze settling on her lap. “I shouldn’t be surprised. Joe’s always been a good man. He was probably trying to protect me, protect my privacy.” Jadah shakes her head. “The irony, huh?” She leans forward, hands on her knees. “Alright, we’re doing this.” She seems to be speaking more to herself than anything, and you get it fully. You’re still giving yourself mental pep-talks just sitting across from her. “I’m gonna tell you the truth about us, but I’m telling you now, certain things Joe, even with how much he clearly loves you, may never talk about. Really, it’s years of therapy that’s why I can talk about it now.” On one hand, the warning is appreciated. On the other hand, it only increases your anxiety at whatever you’re about to hear. “I also have this thing where I use dark humor to cope with heavy shit, so just pretend like you don’t notice.”

The conversation with Kaylah in Vegas returns to the forefront of your mind, and you start to feel bad for opening the door for Jadah to have to revisit a clearly painful past. But before you can protest, she starts sharing.

“Joe and I met in college. I was 20, going on 21, and he was 22. He was playing football, I played soccer. I thought he was attractive and vice versa. We had a class together, and I approached him first. Next thing I know, we’re fuck buddies. It wasn’t romantic. We didn’t go on dates. He didn’t want that, and neither did I. It was just sex.” She says it so simply, so casually, and for a second, your mind goes towards comparisons. That’s kind of similar to how it was with you and Joe at the beginning. Just all about sex.

“Well, like two dumb college kids, we were having unprotected sex, and we both know what can happen there. I ended up getting pregnant. And this….this is where shit gets bad, because both his family and my family were of the belief that because we were having a child together that we should get married, so guess what we did?” She rolls her eyes, leaning back into the sofa. “I think that might have been our first mistake.”

A mistake….

Joe has also made a comment at least once or twice insinuating he viewed the marriage as a mistake. Had stated they initially married for the wrong reasons, and hearing the full story, you sort of agree. 

It’s such an outdated belief that two people need to be married in order to have a child.

“We did it, we got married. My family is in real estate, so we moved into an apartment they owned off campus and prepared for the baby. That was really the only time we talked and interacted. When it had something to do with the baby. And looking back on that, I can see now that even if we wanted it to work, it wouldn’t have. I felt nothing for him outside of the fact that we were having a baby together, and I know he would say the same because we discussed as such when we finally decided to get divorced. But, I’m jumping ahead of myself.”

Slowing down would be wonderful, because this is a lot for you to take in and digest. Jadah sounds like she’s essentially stating she never loved Joe, never had feelings for him. And it seems like he felt the same way, like they were only trying to make it work for the sake of the baby and their families.

She’s quiet for a second, and you already know the next thing that’s about to come out of her mouth. “There’s—there’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it.” Another pause. “We lost the baby. I–I had a stillbirth. I was just about 8 months along. I—grief is so damn weird, because some days I’m okay, and then others, I feel like it just happened.”

Shaking your head, you advise gently, “Jadah, you don’t—”

She lifts her hand, stopping you as she explains, “today….today is an okay day. I’m….I’m good.” And you hope, for her sake, that she’s being honest with both you and herself. The last thing you want is to unintentionally trigger her. “We coped the only way we knew how at the time: avoiding each other and having sex when we weren’t avoiding each other. Both of which were unhealthy, one of which resulted in me getting pregnant again. But, I—I ended up miscarrying.”

That….that you especially weren’t expecting to hear. The loss of one child seems unfathomable, but the loss of two children is just so wrong. Like, it shouldn’t be allowed to happen. No one deserves to experience that kind of grief, and while your heart aches for Jadah, it’s hard not to think mostly about Joe.

To think about how that kind of experience had to have torn him up. How could it have not?

“After that miscarriage is when we tried to make things work, tried to actually be a real couple. It was mostly on my end but also that loss was the first time we actually tried to heal together instead of separate. I did most of the initiating, and I can be honest with myself now in admitting it was mostly because I wanted to try again. I wanted to try to have another child.” Her attention is mostly focused on her lap as she recalls what had to have been one of the most difficult times in her life. “Through therapy, I learned that I thought if I could finally just have a child, my grief would go away. Obviously, that’s not how that works, and I learned the hard way because I did get pregnant again, but I….I also ended up miscarrying again.” 

Words. There are none to properly describe what’s going through your head right now, the emotions all circulating throughout your entire body. Tears brim your eyes listening to this heartbreak. You have such a tremendous amount of compassion and sympathy for the woman sitting across from you.

For the man not before you currently but you’d give anything to be able to hold and hug right now. You had no idea he’s been through so much, lost so much, and yet he still stands tall, forever being your backbone.

Being your saving grace. 

“That was the last time Joe and I were ever intimate,” she continues, dabbing at her eyes. “He refused to touch me unless I got on birth control. Said he didn’t want to see me go through that anymore, and I believe him. But, I also don’t think he could handle another loss either.”

You’re not sure anyone could handle that kind of loss a fourth time. 

“I was the one who cheated first, but it’s hard to call it that when I nor Joe ever really saw our marriage as real. It was legal, yes, but he never loved me, and I never loved him. We had love for each other, but we weren’t in love with each other. And I think the little we did feel was because of our shared losses.”

This almost feels like a discussion that needed to happen in separate sessions, because it’s so much to take in. You’d always wondered about this marriage, wondered what the real story was, but hearing that real story almost has you wishing you would have never asked. It’s just all so heavy.

“And then he started becoming more famous and up there in the WWE. I don’t need to tell you how crazy his schedule can be. I barely ever saw him. We essentially became roommates. He did his thing and who he wanted, while I did my thing and who I wanted.”

It’s hard on you hearing all this, for obvious reasons, but there’s also a part of you that is grieving for different reasons. Grieving what maybe you and Joe could have been if you knew all of this. Knew his wife wasn’t the high school sweetheart turned wife, knew he wasn’t going home and playing house when he wasn’t in your bed. You always just assumed this was the case, the few times you even allowed yourself to think about him being married. It was more toward the end of your relationship as you realized you needed to start being honest with yourself about your relationship with him.

“I know for a fact Joe never initiated a divorce because he felt like it was wrong. Like it was wrong for him to leave me because I couldn’t give him what he wanted, a family. I can’t speak for him, but I’d bet that’s why he didn’t divorce me even when he met you. Because he’s a good man who still felt a sense of loyalty to me because I had tried to give him a child. I just….I couldn’t.”

Your chest tightens at her words. Did she just….. “Joe wanted kids?”

Jadah is quick with the response, reiterating. “He always wanted to be a dad. Even with our first pregnancy, we were both nervous and young, but he told me that he wanted a big family because he came from one.”

It’s getting harder and harder to keep the tears at bay. You hadn’t the slightest clue fatherhood was something Joe always envisioned for himself, something he always wanted. It makes sense, it makes all the sense now why he reacted so strongly as he did when he found out about Callie. The way he looked at you with such love and appreciation on Christmas when you apologized for not getting him anything, the way his eyes fell on Callie is he calmly told you that you already did.

A child. 

You’d given him a child, something he always wanted but could never have.

Shaking your head, you admit aloud but gently, “I didn’t—I didn’t know that.”

“Do you know what Joe told me when we finally realized we needed to just file?” She doesn’t wait for a response, most likely already knowing what your answer will be. “He said he was never supposed to be with me, because he was always supposed to be with you.” A tiny gasp leaves your mouth. “And he’s right. Joe never spoke about me the way he speaks about you, the way his eyes light up, the smile on his face…... He was never in love with me, because his heart was always supposed to be with you.” Any effort to refrain from crying is null and void. “And I’m happy for him. I truly am. I couldn’t give him what he wanted, and that’s okay, because you have.”

Her comforting you is the last thing that should be happening, but it’s exactly what occurs. She reaches over, placing her hand on top of yours.

“Y/N. I don’t hate you. I don’t think you’re a whore who ruined my marriage. That marriage was a sham from the beginning. If anything, I was more upset at you when Joe told me about Calista. I was upset because I wish you had told him from the beginning that you were pregnant. We could have gotten divorced sooner, and he could have finally experienced fatherhood. I could have finally figured out what I want in life.”

Sniffling, wiping at your eyes, “All this time…..I thought that I had been that woman, that I took him from you. That’s why I didn’t tell him about Callie, I thought—I felt like it was wrong, wrong because he was married.” It’s that along with your unaddressed daddy issues, that whole trauma, but while Jadah is relatively open with you about her struggles. You’re just not there yet.

“You can’t take what never belonged to me. I’m able to admit now that I never had Joe, and to be honest with you, I never really wanted him.” She frowns almost, continuing to share more with you than you ever expected her to share. “I wanted to do humanitarian work after college, and I didn’t do that because I was too busy living my life the way everyone said I should. I don’t blame Joe either. I guess I just wish all three of us didn’t have to wait so long to finally have what we wanted.”

In a strange sort of sense, all three of you are victims of some type of circumstances, different in various ways but still victims. 

“Are you….are you happy, Jadah?”

In all that you’ve heard her divulge, a no wouldn’t surprise you. She’s such a strong woman, but in the midst of all this, you getting Joe, Joe having you, where’s her happy ending?

“I’m bisexual.” It’s such a strange first initial response, one that you’re not sure how to reply to or take. Not that you’re judging at all. Good for fucking her. But, where is the relevance?  “It’s not a secret, either. I’ve been out since I was in middle school, but I’ve been in a relationship with this amazing woman for almost a year now, and it’s with her I’ve realized I just tend to form deeper connections with women than men. Especially emotionally. It’s gotta be why I never felt anything for Joe, because we both know that man is objectively gorgeous, insanely sweet, and the D is fire.”

That makes you laugh, the first in the midst of this heartfelt conversation. “You’re not wrong about that.”

“But, she’s amazing, and we’re so happy, so yes, I am more than happy.” Her eyes light up the same way you’re certain she’s seen with Joe when he talks about you. “But, you know what will make me happier?” She announces with attitude and determination. “Getting on Live together and blowing up this bitch whole spot.”

Another laugh that’s followed up with. “I’d rather beat her ass, but this is second best.”

“I mean, we can do that too. I don’t really know how to fight, but I’ll cheer for you on the side.” 

There’s more laughter as you realize Jadah has that dry sense of humor that can have you dubbed over in tears from the humor, meanwhile she’s got a straight face the whole time. 

“I wish, but I can’t be fighting in my condition.”

It leaves your mouth before you even realize what you’re basically confirming, and before you can freak out, scolding yourself for being so insensitive, Jadah is already two steps ahead.

“Seriously? Congratulations!” Her smile is just as genuine and happy as all the outdoors, as she explains. “Y/N, just because I can’t have kids doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for people who can. I know Joe must be over the moon happy.”

“He is,” you answer with a matching smile, hand going to your stomach. “I’m really happy I got to meet you, Jadah. I think….I think we both needed this.”

There was something so healing about all of this, some sense of solace and closure that feels like it’s been provided for the both of you. Her being able to talk this out and be honest about her feelings, and you learning that maybe, just maybe, your relationship with Joe was never wrong in the first place.

Because it was always supposed to be.

“I agree.” She squeezes her hand. “Now, let’s get started on our strategy for this Live, cause I’m ready to shut that ex best friend of yours fifteen minutes of fame down.”

———-

In another life, you and Jadah could have been the best of friends. 

There’s such an ease that comes with talking to her. Not only is she just as laid back as Joe promised, but the bitch is funny as hell. The strategizing your game plan for the Live is filled with her dry humor that almost has you in tears at one point. And it amazes you how someone who’s been through so much can still find it in her to laugh, to still be filled with so much joy.

It’s admirable. 

And maybe there’s a way where you can be friends of some sort, because there’s truly no ill feelings towards her on your end. You’re also almost certain it’s the same for her as well, but right now, the focus is on this Live. 

Well, sort of.

“I definitely think the cool tones will really compliment the white theme of the house. You guys don’t plan to paint, right?”

Joe never mentioned that Jadah is an interior designer, not that he needed or even had a reason to, but it definitely comes in handy considering you have this big ass house to decorate without a lick of knowledge about decorating. 

It didn’t take long to figure out how you’re going to tackle the Live, and you two even got your iPad set up in the kitchen, deciding that’s where you would hold it. She even set up the practice live so you two could familiarize yourself with the layout before actually going live.

So with that out the way, it only took one question from Jadah about designing for her to be assisting you with some options for different rooms in the house.

“No. Joe hasn’t mentioned anything about it.” You then remember. “We are getting a mural painted in Callie’s room. I guess Joe knows someone.”

“Oh, that’s awesome.” She beams, asking, “what’s the mural gonna be?”

Smiling, you answer, “disney. She loves Disney.”

“Y/N…..do you….do you think I could meet her?” She quickly adds, almost as if she’s nervous about even asking in the first place. “I know you probably need to talk to Joe first, but—”

“Of course, you can meet her.” There’s no need to think about it, no need to talk with Joe about it. “I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to meet her. She’s out with my best friend right now, because I didn’t want her overhearing our Live, but I’d love for you to meet her.”

She seems so moved and appreciative of this. “Thank you.” She motions down the hall, “you don’t happen to have any food, do you?”

Laughing, you answer. “Girl, I was just thinking we need to get this Live done, cause I’m hungry.”

It’s not too surprising on your end. In the past few days, you’ve noticed your appetite increasing, a strange symptom to have so early on in your pregnancy. Annoying, too.

“Well, let’s pig out on snacks, and maybe we can get actual food later,” she suggests. You’re down for that, thinking about asking Alexis to stop and pick something up on her way back to the house with Callie. 

“Sounds good to me.” She then looks around, noticing the speakers located throughout the house. “Do those work?”

Already knowing where she’s headed, you pull out your phone, opening up Spotify and reaching it to her. “What’s the vibe?”

Jadah sucks her teeth, taking the phone. “Girl, you already know.”

She moves her fingers around the screen before music starts to play.

Knuck if you buck boy

Knuck if you buck boy

Knuck if you buck boy

“Oh my god, you taking it way back.” And it’s so appreciated, cause this always has been and always will be your song. It’s aptly appropriate as well.

“We gotta be in the zone.” She’s dancing along the way to the kitchen, tossing you your phone as she walks backwards. “You still remember Princess verse?”

Is water wet? “Don’t play with me.” Making it to the kitchen, you’re barely able to open the cabinet where the snacks are before the verse starts.

Yeah we knuckin' and buckin' and ready to fight

I betcha I'm'a throw dem thangs

So haters best to think twice

Word for word, you don’t miss a beat, and Jadah is right there with you, dancing and playfully twerking to the soundtrack of every middle school fight back in the Y2K era. 

The two of you share a laugh at your silliness as she forages through the cabinet for her preferred snack while you open the goldfish and glance at the iPad. Frowning, you move closer, asking, “why is the screen still on? It’s supposed to be on auto—Jadah?”

She’s distracted, caught between Cheez-Its and Pretzels, answering distractedly. “Yeah?”

“Why does this say we’re live?”

At your question, she answers half-heartedly, “it’s in that practice mode thing, isn’t it?”

That would provide a heavy layer of relief if your eyes didn’t land on the number of the corner of the screen.

The number that reads over 100,000k people are currently watching this live.

“Jadah! It’s fucking live!” She spins around, confused. “Like, we’re on Live!”

“Oh, shit,” she curses, running over and also looking at the screen. “Damn, we are.”

Panicked, you back up to the opposite counter, lecturing, “I thought you said it was in practice mode!”

“I thought it was!” She defends, shrugging and reminding you of her naivety with technology. “You should have never left me in charge in the first place! I haven’t used social media since Tom and I were besties on MySpace!”

“Oh my god.” your hand remains over your mouth as you take in the fact that this thing has just been sitting here, live for the whole wide world to sit and watch.

“I don’t know why there’s so many people here. Were ya’ll just sitting here staring at her fridge?”

“Jadah.”

“It’s a valid question!” She sucks her teeth, pulling out the bar stool and plopping down. “Well, since everyone’s here, we might as well get started.” She reaches for your phone, simply saying “music.”

Believing she’s going to turn off Crime Mob, you hand it to her, but that’s too good to be true. Because instead of silence, you’re hit with Megan Thee Stallion.

I just want to kick this shit off by saying, "Fuck y'all!"

I ain't gotta clear my name on a motherfuckin' thang

“Jadah!”

“I said we were getting started. We need to set the tone.”

“We can’t be playing this kind of music on Joe’s account though.” At least, you think so. You’re not entirely certain what exactly his public image is supposed to exemplify. But, songs about fighting and cussing people out don't seem to align.

However, she waves you off, focusing on the screen. “Hello, everyone, and welcome to this special edition Live. I’m sure most, if not all of you, recognize Y/N, thanks to a basic bitch we’re about to roast alive in this here video.” She gestures to you, and unsure of how exactly to respond or act, you simply offer a sarcastic wave. “But most of you may not know I am because I’m pretty sure there’s only a couple of photos of me online, which is the way I prefer it.” She places one hand on her chest. “I’m Jadah, the infamous ex-wife who apparently hates Y/N and pulled up ready to knuck if you buck, but we’ll get into that later.”

Feeling more comfortable after making active efforts to push away your nerves, you tease, “bet ya’ll didn’t see this one coming.”

Jadah’s face lights up with a mischievous smile. “We figured there’s so much being said about us by this delusional bitch, that it’s time we speak our truth. And I’m just gonna say right now that while we’re doing this to clear up the lies, there are some things we’re not going to touch on because it’s nobody’s business.”

“None of this is really anyone’s business,” you add, the confidence growing by the second. “It’s all really fucked up how we even have to come up here and defend our characters and talk about personal, real life situations. I never wanted any of this, never wanted to have my face be out there, to have my daughter’s face be out there.”

“And that’s the thing, too,” Jadah seems to be feeding off your energy just as much as you’re feeding off hers. “I don’t have any social media at all. I hate it. After today, I don’t plan to ever do anything like this ever again. But, it’s also the fact that people are saying such cruel things about an innocent child that absolutely disgusts me. Like, people are attacking an innocent little girl and saying that it’s in defense of me, which is so insane because none of you know the truth.” She looks over at you, asking, “mind if I start off?”

“No, go ahead, please.”

“Bet.” She claps and announces. “I’m gonna keep this super easy for all of ya’ll. First things first, I have never spoken to that Mariah person a day in my life. Have zero clue who she is. The texts? Never happened. Phone calls? Never happened. Screenshots of said messages? Never fucking happend. Why?” Jadah makes a triangle over her mouth so her voice projects. “Because I don’t fucking know her!”

“More facts: Joe and I were married, yes. We got married when we were like 21 and 22 because I was pregnant, and that’s when people still believed children could only be raised by married couples. That’s the only reason I married that man. We were never in love. Never even dated. We were just horny college kids who didn’t use protection.” 

As strange as it may be, you can tell there’s a bit of hesitation on Jadah’s end before she goes into the next part. “We, unfortunately, lost that child. And experienced some other forms of loss that I won’t get into because it’s very personal, but to make a long story short, we ended up having an arrangement. Essentially, he did what and who he wanted, and I did the same.” 

She pushes some of her hair back, continuing to explain bits and pieces that are still true but protect her from having to lay out her darkest experiences. “I don’t even consider it an open marriage, because outside of us legally being married, we never had an actual marriage. As most of you already know, professional wrestlers have insane schedules, so when I tell you he was at the crib maybe a month out of the year? I’m not even exaggerating. That man was my platonic roommate.”

There’s a small smile on your face as her humor and sass melt into her delivery after carefully maneuvering around the specifics of her personal loss. “Ya’ll are all up in arms, coming after this girl talking about she broke up my marriage, blah blah blah. But, she couldn’t break up what didn’t exist. I never loved that man. Joe is a great guy, but we never loved each other.” She gestures to you with her thumb. “This is who he loves. This is who he has a family with. And the fact that ya’ll can sit there and claim to support him and be a fan while attacking the people he loves blows my mind.”

“So, it goes without saying, Mariah lied her ass off about all of that for clicks and views. She’s a liar. And you can print that in your tabloids.”

“I also wanna clear up some things about her if that’s cool with you?” Jadah nods, and motions for you to have the figurative floor. “I need people to understand that this is somebody who I thought was my best friend, who I’ve called a best friend since I was in kindergarten. Matter of fact, we met because some boy was picking on her, and I went up and pushed him, standing up for her. I’ve always prided myself on being a loyal friend, especially to her. So for her to do all that she’s done to me has been so fucking hurtful and confusing.”

“I found out that she’s been sleeping with my very first boyfriend, the boy I lost my virginity to and dated on and off up until I was in my mid-twenties behind my back since we were teenagers.” You have no intention of stooping to Mariah’s level, but if she wants to lay out your information for public scrutiny, then you damn sure can make sure they know just who they’re believing. Know her character, or lack thereof. “Mind you, he ain’t shit either and he can go fuck himself just as much as she can. Like, it takes two, but here I am calling this girl my best friend, crying and confiding in her about all he’s putting me through, and the whole time she’s fucking him behind my back.”

“That’s so foul.” Jadah looks just as disgusted as you feel just thinking and talking about it. 

“But you know what? As fucked up as that is, that part is well with my soul because I have a man who treats me so damn good, a beautiful daughter, and a loving, supportive family. So, that’s fine. What really fucks with me though, still—” There’s an unplanned pause as emotions get the best of you, just revisiting this subject. “Fuck, I said I wasn’t gonna cry.” Taking a deep breath, you do your best to continue without breaking down in front of the whole damn internet. “What gets me is that this girl who I considered a sister, who I literally made the legal godmother of my child, called DCFS on me, made up horrific lies and stated my child was in immediate danger—”

“Oh my god—”

“They took my baby away from me and placed her with my mother, so I legally could not have any contact with my child or my mom for three days. And that may not seem like a lot of time to ya’ll, but I love my child. She’s very attached to me, and I’m kinda the same. So those three days were torture. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t keep anything down, my chest hurt. I had to hire a lawyer, be interrogated like I’m some criminal. It was awful.” Your attempts to hold back the tears failed epically, and Jadah’s hand is on the small of your back, rubbing in a comforting motion. “And now she’s sold all these personal photos and videos of my daughter to the highest bidder, so now I worry about what kind of fucking disgusting perverts now have access to them. It’s been fucking hell dealing with girl. You all have no idea.”

Up until this point, you’ve made an active, concerted effort to keep your eyes away from the comments, not wanting to lash out or be unintentionally triggered. But, an accidental glance reveals a slew of incoming comments including hearts of all colors. 

It’s then you can’t help but to read a few, also needing to get your shit together. Crying on the internet is something you used to make fun of people for. Now, you’re in the same position.

The comments are a complete 180 from the last time you decided to torture yourself by viewing the public’s general opinion on you. 

There’s a tremendous amount of sympathy, support, and newfound understanding. For both you and Jadah, though, the majority of them seem to be aimed towards you.

A lot of apologies as well.

“And this is the kind of person you all have been deceived by. The only thing she was truthful about is that yes, I met Joe because of her. She won a contest years ago that gave her tickets and backstage passes to a Smackdown show, so she invited me, and I met him that night.” That’s probably the only thing you could ever be grateful to Mariah about, the fact that her letting you be her plus one resulted in you meeting the love of your life. “But, I’m not a whore. Not a golddigger. I’m very intelligent. I got nearly a perfect score on my ACT and my SAT back in high school. I was student body president, homecoming queen, prom queen. You look up Ms. Popularity, and you’ll see my fucking face. I have a bachelor's degree in education, I’m a licensed teacher in my state. Like, I don’t need attention from strangers nor do I want it.”

“And here’s the thing, my daughter is almost five, so I’ve been in the picture. If I was this big attention whore like she says I am, why have I not gone public or made my presence known? The only reason ya’ll even know who I am now is because I was essentially outed, but I don’t want this shit. Joe is famous. Not me. I don’t want that. I just want to live in peace and privacy with my family. That’s all.”

It’s a bit of playing with the truth, insinuating that you’ve been in Joe’s life consistently the past five years, but that’s one of the parts of this that doesn’t need to be shared on the world wide web. 

“We black and educated excellence over here. We don’t need validation from strangers.” Jadah says it better than you can as you continue to blot at your eyes, grateful the tears are drying up. “We need some church in here to lift the spirits.”

“Oh, Lord, what are you going to play now? We are about to get Joe’s account banned.”

She clicks around on your phone before the song starts playing.

We lift our hands in the sanctuary.

We lift our hands to give You the glory.

“You’re so stupid.” This laughter is so good for your soul, it’s the most you’ve done in such a short span in a while. And it feels good. “But why would you pick this damn song, knowing good and well it never ends.” Reaching for the goldfish bag on the island, you open and grab a few. 

“Y/N! Why are you eating? We are in church.”

You give her that ‘girl, please’ look, justifying. “Girl, I’m hungry. It’s snack time, shit.” You’re craving more than a snack, more like a full course meal, but Callie’s snacks will have to do for now.

“Now you’re cussing in church. Don’t drag me to hell with you, whore.” She leans closer into the phone, taunting, “you liked that one, didn’t you, Mariah?”

You almost spit out your food. “Jadah!”

“What? You are a whore. That’s why I pulled up at your house blasting Sideline Hoe by Monica in my 2007 Toyota Camry, wearing my Baby Phat bomber jacket to fight you that one day.” At this point, you’re about to piss on yourself. Jadah’s sense of humor is golden, because she’s saying all this with such a straight face. Never once breaking scene. 

You decide to play along, correcting. “No, it was The Boy Is Mine, remember?”

She snaps her finger. “That’s right. My bad. And then the second fight, it was Jolene. I played that when I snuck in your hospital room at Grey Sloan and caught you flirting with Dr. McDreamy.”

Turning your head, you try your best to hold in your laughter, but it’s impossible. 

And Jadah also breaks a bit, speaking to the phone and viewers. “You see how ridiculous and stupid this all sounds? That’s exactly how stupid majority of the shit that came out of Mariah’s mouth is. I literally just met Y/N for the first time today, this morning. And as ya’ll can clearly see, we good over here. She got her man. I have a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend. Stop being so invested in lives you don’t live.”

You start to add something else when Jadah interjects, “and let me just say this, cause I saw some people having the audacity to say this girl is ugly. Ugly where? The bitch is gorgeous. Look at her!” She gestures to you, adding, “she’s stacked in the front, and it’s sitting in the back. Shit, I would hit that too.”

“Girl, you better stop before they start making up rumors and shit about us all being poly.” Snickering at just the thought alone of that being the latest on the rumor mill, you jokingly coin it prematurely. “Roman’s Harem.”

“Roman’s Hoe House,” she suggests, and you’re nearly in tears from laughter. This bitch is hilarious. “Plot twist, everyone. This was all a publicity stunt for a new season of Flavor of Love featuring Roman Reigns.”

“Jadah, oh my god, stop.”

She lifts her hands to silence you as you lay your head on her shoulder, laughing your ass off. “We will be taking applications following this Live. If you are a woman of color with ass and boobs, please apply. Slim thick girls, ya’ll can apply too with the understanding your chances are a bit slimmer. No pun intended. Skinny girls….maybe try the Bachelor or something.”

“Jadah, you are a menace.” You are dying for her to meet Alexis. They seem very similar in a lot of ways, and it seems like they’d vibe well. Hopefully.

“Y/N, please, I am trying to build recruits for the harem.” She finally cracks, shaking her head and leaning forward to read some of the comments. She then asks you, “should we answer questions?”

That’s an easy pass, though you also know this is your one chance to really show who you actually are versus who you’ve been painted out to be. “Sure. A couple.”

Jadah gets to reading, “uhhhh, okay this one is tame. What’s the sexiest thing about Roman?”

“Jadah, how is that tame?”

“You should have seen the other one,” she mutters. Something tells you that it’s better you didn’t.

“All of him. That’s such a generic, basic answer, but it’s the truth. He’s the full package. Tall, handsome, amazing body. Insanely kind.” Big dick, not that that needs to be shared with the whole world. “I will say though, like, seeing him parent our daughter, how good and patient he is with her. That is immensely attractive. Him being such an amazing dad and partner. That shit is sexy. If you’re grown, you agree with me.”

“You better be grown if you’re watching this Live.” She’s not entirely wrong. Jadah then reads the next one. “What’s something most people don’t know about Roman?”

Looking over at Jadah, you ask, “do you wanna….”

Immediately, she’s shaking her head, admitting, “I don’t know him well enough to really speak on that. Like, we knew each other better in college, but obviously who we were in college is vastly different than who we are now.”

It really does stump you to hear her say that aloud, not that it upsets you, but just the mere fact that you spent so long viewing her relationship with Joe in one way, but in actuality, they were more strangers than anything. 

Strangers only bonded by loss.

“Ummm, a lot, actually.” You finally answer, trying to figure out how or even what to share. “He’s actually very quiet, like, borderline shy. At least when you first meet him. Once he warms up, you see more of his personality. But yeah, it’s fascinating how well Joe encapsulates Roman cause they’re totally different people.” You glance at Jadah, murmuring, “maybe one more.” 

This Live has gone on long enough, and you feel that you and Jadah touched on all the points you wanted and needed to address.

She nods, clearly searching for a good final one. A couple seconds later, she reads aloud. “What’s one thing you’d like to say to Roman’s fans?”

Damn. 

What a final question.

There’s a couple seconds you utilize to gather your words, wanting to articulate effectively and clearly. “That regardless of how you feel about me, please don’t let that change how you viewed him before you even found out I existed. Joe—sorry—Roman, no, fuck that. Joe is so damn passionate about what he does, his work is everything to him, and he does it like he does everything else in his life—with full passion and dedication.” Your eyes are starting to water again from unexpected emotionality. “I’m so proud of him and all he’s done and accomplished, and I know it’s just the beginning, so I’d love for you to continue to support him on his journey.”

“Damn.” Jadah mumbles after a minute of silence. “That was deep. We need another song—”

“Jadah, I swear to God, if you play one more song—”

“You’re going to like this one!”

“I think we’re just about finished anyway.” It’s not a think. It’s a know. Callie’s been gone long enough. You miss your baby. “What—”

Roman’s theme song plays louder than the previous songs Jadah played, and a smile is instantly on your face. “Okay, you were right.” The two of you vibe for a minute, because your man’s song really is an actual vibe.

“Alright,” Jadah laughs. “You all have been a wonderful crowd now, but we’re hungry, so we’re gonna go eat—what are you thinking?”

“Hmmm, maybe Chinese?”

“Good call.” She then focuses on the screen again. “We’re gonna go pig out, listen to some more amazing music and….yeah.” Jadah grabs you and pulls you right next to her, so you can say something too.

“Thank you for listening to our side, the truth, and please be kind. To everyone. Not just the people you know.”

“And don’t forget to send in your applications for—”

“Jadah!”

[faun-the-fawn77]

"𝕃𝕀ℙ𝕊 𝕆𝔽 𝔸ℕ 𝔸ℕ𝔾𝔼𝕃"

Lucifer Morningstar x F!Angel!Reader

Genre: fluff and angst

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, fluff so sweet it'll hurt your teeth, ooc(?) Lucifer, reader hates Lilith, Lilith is a bitch, and so is Michael

Part Two

Desc: When Lucifer Fell, it wasn't because of his ideals or that he "fell in love" with Lilith OR that he tempted Eve with the Apple. Lilith was poison from the start and manipulated him into giving Eve the apple. He was devoted to one person in creation and that was his wife, Y/N. He was devastated when he Fell and when Lilith told him that Y/N couldn't love him anymore? That broke him. After years of no contact with Heaven, Lucifer let his daughter, Charlie, attend one of the meetings with Heaven for him. What Charlie didn't expect was for her fathers ex(?)lover to be there with Adam and Lute. Or that Charlie would learn more about her mother. She made sure her father would get back in contact with his long lost love. Lucifer got a phone call that night from someone... in Heaven? Now who could that be?

Note: Sorry for the long description but like- I need you guys to have context for my stories, especially song fics. I want to jump right into the music and writing so you guys will be getting extended summaries. Hope you stick around!

Another note: Poll at bottom once ur done reading! be sure to read the note at the end:)

Honey, why you calling me so late?

It’s kinda hard to talk right now

Honey, why you crying, is everything okay?

I gotta whisper ‘cause I can’t be too loud

The abrupt sound of “Highway To Hell” By AC/DC ringing out into the night is what woke the Devil from his slumber. He patted around the black wooden night stand for the loud contraption. His bleary eyes wincing at the brightness of the screen, he saw that the beginning of the number starts with (444). Squinting his eyes, he ran a clawed hand through his bed head and sat up. Glancing back at Lilith and then at the number from Heaven, he sighed and slipped his robe on, stumbling out the door and into his study. 

“What in the unholy Hell is someone from Heaven calling me for…” He hesitated for a second before swiping up and answering the call. 

There was no sound on the other end for a while before Lucifer growled and gripped his phone tighter, “If this is some kinda prank then I won’t hesitate to-” 

“Luci..?”

Lucifer held his breath. His mind raced a mile a minute once that voice came through the line. He closed his eyes shut to prevent the onslaught of tears to fall from his red eyes.

“Luci…please.” His breathing picked up. This wasn’t real. Some fucked up motherfucker was playing some sorta sick prank on him. There’s no way his wi- Ex…wife was calling him. Him! He went to hang up, thumb hovering over the red button when that gentle voice came through again, “Luci, it’s really me. Please don’t go…”

Lucifer bit his lip. He let out a shaky breath and brought the phone to his pointed ear. The sound of her labored breathing could be heard, like she was trying to not cry. 

“Y/N/N? Is…is this really you?” Sniffles were heard from the other end before soft laughter followed. Lucifer fell down into the loveseat near the window in his study. 

“Yes Luci, it’s really me.” The sound of his wife’s voice made Lucifer melt into the loveseat. It’s been eons since he’s heard her voice… and now he wants nothing more than to see her. To feel her. Hug her. Do everything with her.

“Honey, why’re you calling so late? Can’t you see the stars right now?” A sound came from Lucifer and Lilith’s shared room which caused the little Devil to silence himself before speaking again in a whisper, “It’s kinda hard to talk right now. Sorry, honey.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before whimpers and sniffles sounded on the other end. Y/N was crying. His darling wife was upset. 

Not knowing what to do at that point of time, Lucifer shushed her gently, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m right here. Is everything okay, honey? Why’re you crying?” Lucifer clutched his phone tightly. His eyes watered up at the thought of not being able to hold onto her. 

“I miss you, Luci. I miss you so much!” Her voice echoed in the study room. Lucifer pulled his phone away to listen, in case Lilith woke up from the noise. He put his phone back to his ear with a smile.

“I miss you too, darling. I’m sorry for being so quiet. I gotta whisper ‘cause I can’t be too loud at the moment.” Y/N hummed and he could hear the smile on her lips.

“Is it because of Charlie? Oh she is such a sweetie! Her and I-”

“Charlie? You met- How’d you meet Charlie?” Lucifer couldn’t fathom how his sweet apple met with his angelic wife. Y/N couldn't leave Heaven. After he Fell, he had heard from Adam that they kept Y/N on a tight leash to make sure she wouldn’t follow after him. 

“Oh! Said she had a meeting with Heaven! Said she and her wonderful girlfriend were sent by you to represent you!” That’s when it clicked. He had that phone call from Charlie a while back about wanting to go to Heaven to talk about her hotel to the higher-ups. Lucifer got her into Heaven that day. What he didn’t realise is that Charlie had a chance at meeting his wife. Or was she considered his ex? They never officially divorced and he and Lilith never married…

“Her idea is brilliant by the way,” Y/N whispered softly. This caught him by surprise. Surprise because he thought that his brother, Michael, would’ve brain washed her into thinking he was the bad guy. That he was evil incarnate.

“You…support it? Her dream?” Lucifer felt like shit. All this time, after hearing nonstop from his daughter about her hotel and plan, it took him getting a call from his wife to make him realize how shitty of a father he was. 

“I do.”

And that struck him in the heart. It was her first encounter with Charlie and she already supported her. Lucifer held a breath and released it after a few seconds. 

Well, my girl’s in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really move on

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words, it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

“It’s not because of Charlie…is it.” Lucifer perked up. 

“What?”

“The reason you have to be quiet.” Lucifer stilled. 

Lucifer couldn’t speak. The tone of voice Y/N had made him shiver. She sounded…numb. Empty. He knew then that she was referring to Lilith.

“She’s in the next room. She doesn’t know…” Lucifer couldn’t finish. He already hated this topic. Lilith was what caused this. Lucifer took a breath and whispered out, “I wish she was you, Y/N.”

He never moved on from Y/N. She was his everything. She will always be his one and only. His light. His angel. 

It was silent. Too silent. Lucifer chewed on his bottom lip with anxiousness. He knew when Y/N was upset and right now? Very upset. He remembered the first argument they had. Lucifer went down to the garden to welcome the two new humans his Father created. Adam was awed while Lilith had indifference. That intrigued Lucifer. Lucifer would talk to Adam about the stars while Lilith went off on her own to do whatever it is she does. One day, Lucifer followed after her. He found her in a flowering clearing with a pond. She was knelt next to it. Lucifer walked up to her and noticed that she was ripping the petals off the most beautiful of flowers.

“And why damage something with life that grew so beautifully?” Lilith looked up at the archangel and smirked. That should’ve been his first sign.

“They aren’t as beautiful as me though, right?” Lucifer hesitated before shaking his head. That should’ve been the second.

“No! You are… very pretty.” Lucifer didn’t want to get on this human’s bad side, “but that is no reason to rip off the petals. Envy is a sin.”

Lilith cackled at the last quip. If Lucifer had caught it, he would’ve realised that she was evil incarnate, not him. 

When Lucifer returned to Heaven after visiting the humans, he bumped into his wife at the Golden Gates. Her arms were crossed and her rosy lips were set into frown. 

“What’s wrong, my star?” Lucifer reached out only for Y/N to swat away the appendage. She glared at him and in a high pitched voice, mimicked Lilith, “They aren’t as beautiful as me though, right?”

Lucifer paled. He didn’t know she followed him down that day. He knew he was in the wrong. He should’ve stopped Lilith’s flirting. He should’ve stopped when he noticed how Lilith looked at him.

“Honey, I-”

“Save it. You should’ve known better, Lucifer. Women, even angelic ones like myself, are good at getting what we want.” Y/N walked off, back to their house. Lucifer felt terrible. He did know that. The angelic females in Heaven knew what they wanted and always got what they wanted, though what they wanted ranged from the sweetest things like new constellations or a new animal to be sent down to Earth that was of their own creation. 

“Lucifer, I di-”

“It’s really good to hear your voice, sweetheart. I can’t get enough of you saying my name again, even if we’re on a topic that upsets you,” Lucifer admitted. He could hear his wife choke a bit before giggling. 

“Oh yeah?”

Lucifer smirked, “Oh yes. Especially since they’re coming from the lips of a beautiful angel.”

He could hear her stuttering on the other end. He was proud of himself that he still had that effect on her. He was always the charismatic one. She was always the kind one. 

“I bet, Luci, that you’re still just as handsome as when you were here.” Lucifer felt his already reddened cheeks heat up more. Since when did his cute, shy, and sweet wife have this side to her?

“Hells, hearing you say that really makes me weak in the knees, sweetheart,” Lucifer groaned. His heart was beating faster and he felt his hands get clammy. He wanted her badly. 

Bed squeaking could be heard in the next room over which caused Lucifer to shut up. He waited with bated breath for the sound of footsteps but none ever came. He released the breath he was holding, running his claws through his tousled blonde hair. 

“I never wanna say goodbye, Luci,” Y/N’s voice sounded suddenly. Lucifer smiled. He never wanted this phone call to end either. He knew that next time there was a meeting with Heaven, he was going. 

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight

And, yes, I’ve dreamt of you too

And does he know you’re talking to me?

Will it start a fight?

No, I don’t think she has a clue

Lucifer chuckled to himself. Something in himself thinks this is all a dream. That it’s not real. I mean, talking to his wife? He feels like he’s walking on clouds again.

“What’s so funny, mister?” And Hells, he’d never tire of her voice. 

“It’s just funny to me that I got a phone call from you of all angels. That you actually called after everything that happened…” Lucifer leaned back in the seat. His eyes shut and he rested his free hand over his eyes.

“Luci, I never believed Michael’s lies.” Lucifer sat up. His grip tightened on the black hellphone. 

“Never..? But I was told…”

“Whatever you were told was a lie. Lilith is a lying, manipulating bitch. When I saw her in the Garden with you I almost lost my cool. Do you know why she was so flirty? It’s because she saw me and wanted to piss me off. It worked, I’ll give her that.” Lucifer was stunned. Lilith knew? Y/N knew? Then why…

“I never told you because I wanted you to figure it out. I wanted you to realise how toxic she was. That she was using you to get to me. She knew you were the angel everyone talked about and wanted. And she wanted what others couldn’t have.” Lucifer felt that flicker of anger in his heart burst forth. His horns grew and his tail swished around angrily. His breathing was heavy. He wanted to storm into his bedroom and rid that piece of filth from existence!

“Luci! Don’t do anything yet…I have a plan.”

Lucifer settled down and sat back in the loveseat. He used his tail to hold the phone to his ear and clenched his fists to hold back the anger.

“What plan?”

“I can’t say right now… someone is listening.” Her voice lowered at the end. Lucifer understood that she was being watched so he kept his cool and changed topics. 

“You know…I’ve been dreaming of you. Every night since I fell.” Lucifer looked out the window of his study to see the blood red sky. The sight of Heaven made him sad. He wanted so badly to be up there with her once again.

“I’ve dreamt of you too, my light bringer.” Her voice was sweet. It was like honey and vanilla. Lucifer smiled. He could listen to her talk all day. Did he say that twice? Oh well, he was whipped.

“Does he… does Michael know you’re talking to me right now?” Lucifer almost regretted that question. 

“No, he doesn’t. He will when my plan goes through, though.” Lucifer smirked. He couldn’t wait to hear what his brother does when he learns that Y/N was talking to the Devil. He could already picture the steam blowing out his ears.

“And you’re positive that that witch doesn’t know that you are talking to me right now?” Lucifer chuckled at his wife’s bitterness at the mere mention of Lilith. 

“No, she doesn’t. She’s honestly a heavy sleeper.” Y/N hummed. That bit of info made her plan easier. 

“I want to talk more about Charlie! She’s just so sweet and she reminds me so much of you, hon.” Lucifer leaned forward in his seat and both started talking about the sweet creature that was Charlie Morningstar.

Well, my girl’s in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words, it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

That was my first attempt at writing Lucifer and i might have made him a bit to sweet? idk i personally think he'd be supper sweet to wife reader after everything that happened.

HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!!!!

also: if you want a part two... VOTE! I wanna expand on this universe a bit so I'll need to find songs to match. Music is my love so almost all my fics will involve music someway or another:)

[bo0tleg]

GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING 'TOP GUN: MAVERICK' FOR THE FIRST TIME:

"The jacket! The famous jacket that pulls women, pulls men, pulls the world!"

"Oh look how hot~ he looks on that motorcicle. He's even pracing his ass!"

(Maverick, on screen: "Well... He's not here yet.") The mans madness has begun."

"MAVERICK DON'T DIE YOU STILL NEED TO HAVE YOUR GAY ROMANCE!"

"He lasted two months at Top Gun? HA. He probably was a bigger piece of work than the students."

"From what I can tell, Maverick tamed Iceman. In the first one he was the little annoying bitch and Maverick saw a challenge."

"I mean, at least these two (Penny and Mav) have chemistry. They hooked up in a plane, after all."

"Iceman solves his problems, Iceman keeps his job, what a simp. That's dog behavior."

"Maverick doesn't look likes he's flirting with her, he's just confused. His confused face looks like his flirting face, and people assume. I know this because people do it to me."

"Yeah, he's kinda like that one Olívia Rodrigo song that she gets confused when she sees her ex... What was it again?" ('bad Idea right?' by Olivia Rodrigo)

"I like him (Bob)! He's pathetic like me!"

"Oooohhh they're (Phoenix and Bob) gonna be besties! I can feel it."

(When Phoenix racks Rooster with the cue) "OHOHOHOOOO I LIKE HER ALREADY."

(Didn't notice Hangman taking Bob's cue, I relayed the information) "Aaaahhh don't steal Bob's cue. Bob's cool, Bob's nice."

(After rewinding the scene) "NO, NO, NO! WHO IS THAT? NOBODY CAN STEAL BOB'S CUE! I don't like him (Hangman)."

(Hangman, on screen: Bradshaw! As I live and breathe!) *Slowly turns towards me with dead eyes*

"That's not enemies to lovers, that's just enemies."

"With just this scene, I can tell this guy (Hangman) comes and goes. 'Sometimes I flirt with you, sometimes I hate you.' He's like a tsudere."

"Oh, got it. Phoenix is adopted into the man's group. She's a bro."

"I wouldn't say that they're his support system, but those two are the people that know him the best. Hangman is paying attention because he wants to be the best and needs to defeat Rooster. Phoenix is demonstrating a more sibling like worry."

"Hondo is like Mavericks babysitter."

"Oh. Oh, now Mav's flirting with her."

(Following the 'Baby on Board' comment) "Don't talk shit about Bob! I don't like Hangman."

"Maverick is like a step father to Rooster. Not in the 'HAHA I FUCKED YOUR MOM' kind of way, but in the way that he helped raise him."

"Where is Iceman? I'm here for the two of them, I don't give a fuck about Aeronautics."

"I think Ice and Maverick had a long relationship, but they're not together anymore. They maintained a friendship, but their lives probably went in different directions. I'd say they were together for 10, maybe 20 years."

('I ain't worried' by OneRepublic starts playing) "This song is from 2022? OH MY GOD THE SCENE"

"DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH GRANDPA!"

*Started chanting "BOB! BOB! BOB!" When he got picked up*

*Eeriely quiet during the bird strike, until Maverick starts talking to Rooster* "OH THEY'RE NOT DEAD. THEY COULDN'T HAVE KILLED BOB! IF THEY KILLED BOB I WOULD STOP AND NEVER WATCH TOP GUN EVER AGAIN!"

"Definitely 20 years. Ice is probably the only person Mav actually loved. Like, not a fling?" "Yeah, probably." "He's been with lots of women, and men, but Iceman is the only person he was ever in love with– maybe still is."

"I think his (Ice's) wife knows. That's probably why she recognizes Mav and is kind of friends with him." "That's probably why she just let him go up to see Ice." "YEAH GO AHEAD, FUCK MY HUSBAND!"

"It's pretty easy to notice that Snowman– No, ICEman."

"That is the face of a man who just lost the love of his life."

"Damn, the mans a beast. If It was me I'd already have cried, alone, in a room absolutely destroyed, never to come out again."

"He's got nobody, dude! I just want his step child to come back, because If he doesn't that man's gonna kill himself!"

"Why does it always have to have a romantic ending. Just leave him with his adoptive son. Go away."

"They (Penny and Mav) aren't going to end up together."

"I have a theory! Fanboy is obsessed with women! Cus he's 'Fanboy'." "But wouldn't he be called Simp, then?" "Ah, then he's obsessed with men." "... simp can be for men too."

"There's gonna be a Top Gun Three? Who's it gonna be about? It ain't gonna be Maverick, that man has a foot in the grave already."

"Bob is my favorite in the second movie. I have no favorites in the first one because everybody is very macho and very gay, and that's boring."

[tonyspank]

CHAPTER THREE | GET ME

Jenna Ortega x G!P Reader

Warnings: Jenna’s husband being a dickhead. And I think that’s all?

Words: 5.7k

A/N: I’m going to try and get chapter six out for the party and the after party tonight or tomorrow!

series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

Two weeks. Fourteen and a half days, or three hundred and forty-eight hours. That's how long it's been since you've held a conversation with Jenna, and it feels like an eternity. You've been wanting to talk to her and apologize, but she's been avoiding you. And she's doing a wonderful job at it, but you can't lie and not act like you're making it any harder for her to do so.

Instead of waking up at your usual time, you've been waking up thirty minutes earlier, and getting a ride for Eli. After practice, Eli drops you off before heading home himself, and then you'll grab a snack from the fridge, check for towels before you shower, sleep, and then repeat.

On the days you don't have practice you're out with Olivia, doing whatever comes to mind. Again, she's a very sweet girl, kind and loyal, and you can't help but admire her. You've been spending a lot of time with her and it's been great because you both enjoy each other's company.

She's been telling you about how she's started writing songs and they're mainly about her ex-boyfriend. She says her songs are a way of healing, and letting go of her past. You have been supportive and encouraging her to continue writing, and you've been there to listen to her stories while she works through her feelings.

Eli thinks you should stop and hurry up and apologize to Jenna. For someone who wants Jenna for himself, he was so keen on you two being on good terms. Eli was over at your place since it was an early dismissal at school today, and also a Friday.

"I still can't believe you're not talking." You open your mouth to speak but Eli beats you. "Just apologize and be done with it, man." You feel your neck flush. You open your mouth to reply but it only comes out as a stutter. Eli shakes his head and sighs, "All of this because she saw your lil Jimmy John."

You take a bite out of your apple sending a slight glare while doing so. Eli laughs and you swallow your bite before speaking, "Shut up. It's not that simple."

Eli smirks and shakes his head. "You know it is," he says. "You just don't want to admit it." You glare at him, not wanting to give in. You take another bite of the apple, savouring the sweet crunch. "No, it's not," you say firmly.

"Yes, it is. You're avoiding her, she's not avoiding you." You sigh in frustration. You know he's right, but you can't admit it. You set the half-eaten apple down, "Because it's awkward!" He shakes his head and smiles. "It's never going to be not awkward if you don't talk to her. It's better to just go for it and get it over with." He reaches for your apple and takes a bite. "Trust me."

You furrow your eyebrows. "Keep the apple, bitch." He grins, taking another bite of the apple. "You started avoiding her after she saw you naked and then she probably took it as a hint that you didn't want to speak to her, which you don't and started to avoid you herself." You sigh and roll your eyes. He takes another bite of the apple. "She's just as embarrassed as you are."

"So why not just apologize and move on?" He shrugs, taking the last bite of the apple. "It's not that hard. Just be honest and it'll be over in no time and don't walk around naked knowing you have company over." He wipes his mouth and stands up throwing away the apple.

"Where is my wife anyway?" You stare at him blankly at the nickname, "She's out."

He looks around the room for a second before he sighs. "Alright, I guess let's just order pizza and finish the movie you fell asleep on." You throw your head back groaning, "Fuck no! I'm not watching that movie. I fell asleep on it for a reason." He laughs, shaking his head. "Fine. What do you wanna watch then?" You smile, "Puss N Boots."

He raises an eyebrow, but agrees, "Fine, Puss N Boots it is." He pulls out his phone and orders a pizza, and you stand up from the bar stool, heading into the living room.

Thirty minutes later, Jenna was heading home with her friend Emma. She had no idea you were home, and she definitely didn't know Eli was over with you. "Am I about to meet the too attractive for her age, Y/N?" Emma asks with a smile, repeating Jenna's words from earlier today. Jenna sends Emma a glare, unlocking the front door.

Emma giggles, stepping inside and turning to look at Jenna. "So, is it a yes or a no?" She asks with a smirk. Jenna rolls her eyes and walks inside, closing the door behind her. "No. She's at school." Emma's face falls and she sighs. "That's disappointing." She turns away and walks towards the kitchen. Jenna follows but stays silent.

"It smells like pizza," Emma says and looks back at Jenna who nods in agreement.

You pause as you hear sounds coming from the kitchen. You snap your head at Eli who's too invested in the movie to hear anything. He chews his cheese pizza letting out a laugh before taking another bite. "Eli." Eli turns to you and sees the worry in your eyes. He slowly puts down his pizza and turns down the TV. "What is it?"

"I think Jenna's home." His face lights up and he holds his pizza in his mouth jumping up happily, you follow the boy who nearly jogs to the kitchen. Jenna and Emma turn around at the sound of something falling to the floor. It's the pizza that slipped from his mouth.

"MY PIZZA! NOOOOOOO!" Eli yells out as you stare at the two women in front of you. Jenna and Emma smile, amused by the boy's dramatic reaction.

He quickly picks up the pizza and takes a big bite. "Dude, that's so gross." You mutter, squeezing past him and further into the kitchen. Eli continues to eat the pizza off the floor. "It's not that bad," he says with a mouthful. You shake your head in disbelief and watch as the blonde woman whispers something into Jenna's ear.

"I thought she was at school, hm?" Emma whispers, a smile on her lips. Jenna's cheeks flush and she quickly avoids eye contact with everyone in the room. You frown, wondering what that was all about, but it soon disappears as you examine Jenna's outfit.

She was wearing a cropped white button-up, a black tie and a long grey split colored skirt. One side was darker than the other, her socks matching it perfectly. Her shoes were black loafers that matched the tie. A pair of glasses sat on top of her head while her headphones hung from her neck. She really does always have a pair of headphones on her.

She had a unique style, one that blended modern and vintage elements creatively. It was eye-catching and inspiring, and it seemed to suit her perfectly. She looked amazing in it, and it was clear she had a lot of confidence in her own style.

The blonde woman smiles at you, "Hi. It's so nice to meet you. I'm Emma, Jenna's friend." You smile back, holding out a hand for her to shake. "Nice to meet you too—" Eli steps in front of you, shaking her hand himself and introducing himself. "Hey beautiful, I'm Elias Cooper the third." Emma looks taken aback, laughing in shock and surprise as she shakes his hand.

"He's not a third." You and Jenna both say in sync. You and Jenna exchange a glance, and Emma laughs again. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Elias," she says. Eli raises her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss onto her hand while not breaking eye contact. Emma giggles looking at Jenna, and Eli lowers her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, too," he says, his voice low and rich. Jenna clears her throat, and you place a hand on his shoulder, rescuing Emma from the situation.

Eli stands up straight again, and you quickly shake Emma's hand. "I'm Y/N. Sorry about him." Emma's face lights up with a smile. "It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N." She turns to Jenna with a mischievous glint in her eye, mouthing, "Sexy indeed." Jenna turns a deep shade of red and averts her gaze and Emma grins even wider.

"Don't you two have school? Why are you home?" Emma asks. Jenna sighs in relief at not having to ask herself. You nod and Eli speaks up for you, "We had an early dismissal."

"Oh, I see," Emma said. Jenna's eyes roam over you, taking in your white tee that fits your biceps just right. Or your black sweatpants that sag just enough to show the Calvin Klein band in your boxers. Jenna's gaze lingers for a moment before she looks away, blushing. She quickly turns her attention back to Emma, trying to focus on the conversation.

But Eli noticed it all his eyes widening as he stopped himself from letting his jaw drop in shock. He quickly regained his composure and tried to act as if nothing had happened. Eli glanced at Jenna, who was still blushing. He smirked, his lips turning up into a mischievous grin.

"— home safety." Emma finishes off, and you and Eli nod. "Yeah, I'm leaving as well. I just wanted to hang out with her since she's been spending all her time with Olivia." Eli says, staring you down at the last part.

Emma laughs while Jenna's lips twitch downwards. Who's Olivia? "Who's Olivia?" Emma asked with a hint of curiosity. You shake your head, "She's just a friend." Eli sends a quick look to Jenna before throwing an around your shoulder and placing a hand on your stomach. "A friend who wants to be more than friends!"

He tells Emma and you sigh at the boy. Emma's eyes widen, and Jenna scoffs quietly. You roll your eyes and move away from Eli, hoping to avoid any further conversation about Olivia.

"I should get going," Emma announces to everyone with a small frown. Jenna nods and Eli feels his pockets for his keys, "Me too." Eli begins walking into the living room and you follow behind him.

While that happens Emma and Jenna are making their way to the front door, Emma gives Jenna a hug pulling away with a smirk on her lips. "I saw those glances at Y/N." Jenna blushed, trying to deny it. She was about to say something, but Emma just laughed and shook her head. "Come on. Just admit it."

"Em, I'm married." Emma rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. "Unhappily. When's the last time you even got laid?" Jenna opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out. She looked away, trying to hide the blush that had spread across her cheeks. "That's what I thought," Emma said smugly.

"Y/N is my best friend's daughter and not only that but she's eighteen," Jenna exclaims. There were a lot of reasons this was a bad idea, but these were her main concerns. Along with being engaged of course. She didn't want to get caught up in a scandal, and she didn't want to make your parents mad. Especially since she was already getting married.

Jenna knew she had to put a stop to this before it even began. She had to make it clear to Y/N that there was nothing more between them than friendship. She had to make sure that Y/N understood that she needed to focus on her future and not on Jenna.

But the way you looked, the way she felt, she couldn't help but think about what if? Her husband was barely home and he barely even called. And here you are, giving her kisses on her temple and sending photos of her to your best friend. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't resist the temptation. She wanted so badly to feel alive again.

"She's an adult. She can make her own choices. Plus, she seems respectful." Emma says, shrugging slightly. Emma looked away, embarrassed. She knew she was wrong in encouraging her friend, but she couldn't help it. She had been in her friend's shoes not so long ago and she wanted her to be happy.

She was trying to be supportive, even if it was misguided. She wanted her friend to be able to make the decisions that she thought were best for her, regardless of the consequences.

While they spoke, you and Eli were as well.

Eli searches the couch for his keys, tossing a few pillows to the side. You cross your arms, "They're on the table." He turns his head, and they indeed are on the coffee table. "Oh, shit. Thanks."

Eli grabs his keys, "Thank you, baby girl." You scrunch up your face, "Shut up." Eli laughs and throws his keys in the air. He catches them and gives you an exaggerated bow. "My humble thanks to you, my lady." You roll your eyes and Eli grins. "You better talk to her."

You uncross your arms, sighing. "And say what exactly? Oh, sorry Jenna. I didn't mean for you to see me naked, I was just heading to get a towel. I thought you were asleep." Eli pauses then gives you a single nod, "Yes. Say exactly that. It's not rocket science." You take a deep breath, then exhale. "Okay, I'll apologize."

Eli plays with his keys. "Good." He turns to leave but immediately turns back around. "Also! You can keep Jenna for yourself. I want Emma." You raise an eyebrow and look at Eli, confused. He smiles and rolls his eyes. "Just kidding. Hashtag Jenna for life." He laughs and starts to walk away. You watch him go, still trying to process what had just happened. You shake your head and laugh, deciding it was best not to question it.

Jenna opens her mouth to reply to Emma but closes it, turning around as Eli enters the room. He stops short when he sees the two and quickly puts on a smile. "Hey, ladies. Looking even more gorgeous than earlier." He says, Emma grins and Jenna shakes her head. "Hey Eli, leaving?"

Eli nods. "Yup, I'm headed out. See you around." Eli gives a small before walking out of the room, leaving Emma and Jenna alone. "He's cute as well," Emma whispers, smiling. Jenna laughs. "We'll talk later, yeah?" Emma nods and follows Eli out the door.

Jenna watched them leave, a small smile on her face. She shook her head and went back to the kitchen, slightly jumping when you were already there, waiting for her. A sad smile was on your lips as you leaned against the counter. "Hey, Jen. Can we talk?" Jenna hesitated before nodding. "Yeah, of course."

"I uh, I just wanted to apologize for--" You motion with your hands trying to find the right words. "For walking out without a towel, I honestly thought you were asleep." You look away, feeling embarrassed. You take a deep breath and look back, hoping for a response. "I'm sorry," you say again, hoping your apology is accepted.

There's a long pause, and you can feel your heart racing. Suddenly, your Jenna breaks the silence and says, "It's okay. Don't worry about it." You let out a sigh of relief and offer a weak smile. "Thank you," you reply.

Jenna smiles back and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. You feel a sense of calm come over you as you look into Jenna's eyes. You give her hand a gentle squeeze in return, "Can we hug?" Jenna smiles and pulls you in for a hug. You wrap your arms around her and exhale, enjoying the feeling of being so close to her. A soft hand rubs up and down your back gently.

The warm feeling of connection between you and Jenna slowly dissipates as you pull away. You look at each other, a mutual understanding in your eyes. Jenna reaches up to caress your cheek before releasing you and stepping back.

Your face tingles from her touch and your face begins heating up. "There, um. There's still a box of pizza left if you want some." She hums, "What's on it?" You stutter in response, "Uh, cheese and pepperoni."

"I'm a pescetarian."

"Oh, um, sorry about that. I didn't know." You fumble for words, trying to think of what to say next. She laughs softly and says, "It's okay. I'll just have the cheese." You furrow your eyebrows, "Wait. Didn't you have chicken and rice that one day?" You refer back to the day she cooked for you.

"That was for you. I had eaten something beforehand." You feel guilty for not realizing it before. "I'm sorry," you say, "I should have known that." She smiles and shakes her head, "It's alright. I'll just order something else."

"That's why you ordered that veggie sandwich." You mumble loud enough for her to hear. She laughs, "Yes, that's why." You look down at the ground, thinking a bit before letting out a, "Huh." She stares at you, her eyes twinkling. She smiles and says, "It's good for you. You should try something new every once in a while." You nod, shrugging.

"Maybe." She gives you a knowing look. "Just trust me. I think you'll like it." You reluctantly agree, moving to sit down on the bar stool and continuing to talk to Jenna until Midnight comes. You can't believe you spent two weeks avoiding the older woman when the apology was so simple. You mentally groaned at the fact Eli was right.

Instead of being in bed Saturday morning, you found yourself in the school gym, your team and the opponent team warming up. "So, she just said it's okay and moved on?" Eli asks, dribbling the ball in behind him. As you sit down, you hum as you search through your gym bags for your shoes. "See! I told you, she probably thought you were upset. She's grown, I'm sure she got over it the next hour."

You pause for a moment, considering the situation. "I guess so," you finally reply. Where the fuck are your shoes? You glance behind you, looking for them. "Eli, do you have my shoes?" Eli frowns and shakes his head. "No, I don't. I thought you had them." You groan in frustration and turn away, searching the gym for your missing shoes.

You stop looking and take a deep breath. You know you must have left them somewhere, but you can't remember where. You retrace your steps, going back to the locker room and searching around the benches. "Fuck! I left them at home." You glance around the locker room one last time, just in case they were here after all.

You sigh and start heading toward your back. Eli is now sitting down with the ball in his lap. Eli notices your distress and offers to help you look for them. You tell him that you remembered they are at home, "I'll look in lost and found for another pair before Coach starts the huddle."

You nod, sitting down and reaching into your bag for your phone, dialling Jenna's number. Hopefully, she can bring your shoes in time.

Jenna pulls away her phone away from her ear, seeing an incoming call for you. She cuts off the man on her phone sighing, "Jacob. I have to go." Jacob stops her, "Jenna! I'm talking about something important."

Jenna takes a deep breath and clenches her fist in anger. "Suggesting an open marriage is important?! Are you fucking kidding me?" Jacob's voice rises on the phone, "Yes! Don't you think I have needs too?" Jenna's voice tightens, "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that's not the way to solve this problem." Jacob pauses for a moment before stammering, "Well, what do you suggest then?

"Oh, I don't know? Maybe coming to see your wife every now and then? Taking some time off to build a family like you said you were the past ten times." Jacob clenches his jaw on the other side of the phone, "You're not my wife."

Jenna's heart sinks. She swallows the lump in her throat and says, "No, I'm not. Because someone is too fucking busy to officially marry me. You don't understand how embarrassing it is. We've been fiancées for so long that my family has stopped asking when the wedding is."She takes a deep breath and resigns herself to the fact that it's just not going to happen.

She feels tears welling up, but she quickly composes herself. "Then you have the audacity to suggest an open marriage? You're an asshole."

She places down the phone, putting it on speaker before speaking again. "Fuck you! And fuck this ring!" She takes off the ring, roughly setting it down on the kitchen counter. "Jenna--" she quickly hangs up, not wanting to hear his voice anymore.

She begins to sob, her hands shaking as she covers her face with them. Her phone starts ringing, and it's you calling her again. She takes a few deep breaths before collecting herself and wiping away her tears. She takes a moment to compose herself before answering.

"Jen! Thank God, I forgot my shoes at the door. Could you bring them to me? I'm at school and I have a game." She sniffles into the phone, about to reply but you interrupt her. "Jenna? Are you okay?" She takes a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'll be right there with your shoes." She hangs up and quickly grabs the shoes before rushing to school.

She arrives at the school and sees Eli, already on the court playing, but no sight of you. The woman recognizes your last name on your jersey, your back is turned towards her while you sit on the bench. Jenna takes a deep breath, smiles and jogs over to you, calling your name.

You turn around, surprised to see her. You jump up making your way to Jenna, a huge smile on your face. She hands you the shoes, and you bring her into a side hug. "Thank you so much," she nods in response. "Of course."

You stare at her, taking in her sad face and you can tell she has been crying. You set your shoes down, a slight frown on your face. "Are you okay?" Jenna nods her head, her lip trembling. She was doing a horrible job trying to convince you she was okay.

You wrap your arms around her and pull her close. You can feel her body shaking as she sobs into your shoulder. You squeeze her tighter, trying to offer her some comfort. You whisper reassuring words in her ear, letting her know she isn't alone. You stay there, hugging her until her body stops shaking.

She pulls away, wiping her eyes and shaking her head as she forces a smile on her lips. "Shit, I'm so sorry--" You interrupt her. "Don't apologize." You whisper softly, "It's alright, I'm here for you."

"You have a game to play." She whispers back, you shake your head. "You're more important than a high school game." She looks up into your eyes, her own still glistening with tears. "Thank you," she murmurs, and she takes a deep breath as her shoulders relax. You smile at her, and take her hand in yours, squeezing it gently.

You pull her back into a quick hug, pulling away and placing a kiss on the top of her head. You don't know why but you just wanted to before you let her go. She looks up at you, a small smile forming on her lips. "Go play," she says. You pick up your shoes nodding before asking, "Are you gonna watch?"

She shakes her head and pushes you away gently. "I'm more of a soccer fan but I'll support," she says. You take a few steps back, watching her for a few moments before turning away and running toward your coach. She smiles before finding a place to sit on the bleachers. Your coach calls a timeout, discussing a game plan to sub you in as your team is trailing 15 points.

Eli pats your back while you bend down to tie your shoes, looking away from your coach's whiteboard to spare a look into the crowd. His face lights up when he sees Jenna, waving at her.

It is Olivia that is seated in front of Jenna, and she thinks Eli is waving at her and her friends, so she reciprocates. Jenna smiles and waves back, but Olivia's face falls when she realizes Eli was not waving at her. Olivia turns away, trying to hide her disappointment. She forces a smile back onto her face and turns to her friends, pretending nothing had happened.

The ref informs your coach that his thirty seconds are about to come to an end, you all break out of the huddle and prepare to step onto the court. The whistle blows and the game begins. Both teams battle it out, and the crowd cheers as the energy of the game fills the air.

As Jenna's anxiety creeps up at the scoreboard, she reaches for her ring only to remember it's not there. Jenna quickly shakes her head and refocuses on the game. Clapping loudly as you steal the ball from your opponent.

You quickly pass the ball to Eli, who dribbles it to the basket and makes the shot. The crowd erupts in cheers for your team. You give Eli a pat on his back as he jogs back down the court.

It's the fourth quarter and your team is trailing by two points. Twenty seconds left on the clock. You walk up the court, calling out a play. Eli sets a screen for you and you run to the basket. Jumping off one foot, you go for the layup only to get fouled badly. You land hard but still manage to make the layup.

The crowd goes silent at the loud smack that could be heard around the arena. You stay laying on the ground, the pain coursing through your body. Jenna stands up from the bleachers, worry on her face. "Don't be hurt," she mutters to herself, repeating the three words to herself.

Chris, your teammate along with Eli jog over to you, helping you onto your feet. You take a deep breath and smile, letting your teammates know that you're okay. You give Jenna a wave and a thumbs up, and she visibly relaxes, sitting back down. Chris and Eli give you a pat on the back and the crowd cheers, relieved that you weren't seriously injured.

"Come on, make the free throw baby," Eli says, patting your back. You nod and make your way to the free-throw line. You take another deep breath, focus on the rim, and take the shot. The ball sails through the air and you hear the swish of the net. The crowd erupts and you turn to Eli who is grinning and giving you a thumbs-up. You can't help but smile back, proud of yourself for making the shot.

The opposing team is left with nine seconds on the clock, inbounding the ball and rushing it up the court. The opposing team takes a desperate shot, but it hits the backboard and rebounds out. The buzzer sounds and the game is won.

The home crowd erupts in cheers and the players on the winning team rush the court to celebrate their victory. The players hug and rejoice, thankful for the hard work they put in to secure the win. The losing team stands in silence, feeling the disappointment of the loss. They shake hands with their opponents, showing respect for the other team's effort. The game is over, and the winners bask in the glory of their victory.

As the other team walks into the guest locker room, you walk to the bleachers with a jolly smile on your face. You're staring at Jenna who smiles at you. She blows you a kiss and you dramatically drop your jaw holding a hand over your heart. She laughs, her eyes twinkling with delight. You can't help but feel your heart swell with joy, knowing that she understands your silly gesture of affection.

You jump as you feel a pair of arms wrap around you, Jenna's smile disappears as she watches you hug back the brunette girl. "Olivia! Hey," You say, pulling away from the hug. She smiles in response, resting a hand on your bicep. "You did so well!" Olivia laughs, her eyes twinkling in the arena lights. You glance back at Jenna, who watches you with a frown. You give her a small smile, and she tentatively smiles back.

Eli walks past the two of you, making his way up the bleachers to Jenna. You nod at Olivia's words but your eyes are on the two, Eli and Jenna embrace in a hug, and Eli whispers something in Jenna's ear that makes her laugh. Olivia notices your gaze and follows it. She turns back to you and raises an eyebrow, her expression unreadable.

You look away, feeling embarrassed for having been caught staring. "Are you going to the party tomorrow?" You ask, and Olivia nods. Before she could speak your excuse yourself, joining Eli and Jenna at the bleachers.

The three of you chat for a while, and when you turn back to look for Olivia, she's gone. "Hey, Jen. Enjoy the game?" Jenna grins. "Yeah, it was very intense." You smile in response, "Well, I had to keep you on your toes somehow."

Jen laughs, "You definitely did. I think I'm going to go grab a snack before heading home. Do you need a ride home?" You shake your head. "Yes, please." Jen smiles at you, "Okay. I'll be at the front entrance." She says and heads off to get a snack. Eli turns to you, smiling. "Did you see her ring?"

You furrow your eyebrows, not remembering as you weren't paying attention. "Uh, no?" Eli's smile widens, "Exactly! Oh my god, this is one of the best days of my life!" Eli claps his hands and jumps up from the bleacher. He looks around, noticing the stares they were getting from the students in the stands. He leans in and whispers, "Come on, let's get out of here."

They quickly make their way down the bleachers and into the locker room. You try to remember if Jenna actually wasn't wearing her ring, but you can't remember. You follow Eli out of the locker room, still wondering if you were wrong. "See you tomorrow, Y/N," Eli says, parting ways with you. You send him a nod, seeing Jenna walking toward the main entrance, you follow her, and the two of you walk toward her car.

Jenna gets to her car and you place your bags in the back before entering as well. Jenna puts on her seatbelt and looks at you. "Hungry?" she asks. You shrug, "Not really. I'll just eat something at home." Jenna starts the engine and pulls out of the parking spot. She turns to you and smiles. "You scared me when you fell."

You laugh and look away. "It was nothing, I'm fine. Just a way to get the ref to actually call it." Jenna nods and puts her attention back on the road. You glance at her hands on the steering wheel. She wasn't wearing her ring. Would she mind if you asked? You take a deep breath and decide not to bring it up. You turn your gaze back out the window, watching the scenery pass by. It's probably better to just let it go for now, especially since she was crying earlier.

"Are you feeling better?" You ask, turning your head to her. She quietly nods her head and you let out a relieved sigh. You both sit in silence, the only sound being the hum of the engine.

"I thought you didn't have a girlfriend." Jenna randomly says as her mind reminded herself of the girl hugging you after the game. You quickly look away, not wanting to make eye contact with her. You clear your throat, not sure how to respond. "It's complicated," you finally say. "Well-- it's not. She likes me but I don't like her. Remember what I said when we were out for lunch?"

Jenna looks back at the road in front of her, feeling a little embarrassed. She nods silently before clearing her throat. "Yeah, I remember," she says softly. She takes a deep breath and continues to drive, her mind racing with thoughts. Some of them are about you and the others are about Jacob.

It was obvious she wasn't happy in her marriage, but she was too afraid to take the next step and leave. She knew it would be hard and she wasn't sure if she was up to the challenge. She was also thinking about what Emma said. She's an adult. She can make her own choices. Plus, she seems respectful. Respectful? You were more than respectful, she thought. You were selfless and more mature than the adults she knew in her life.

Yes, it might have taken two weeks but at least you apologized. You didn't exactly do anything wrong, it was just a lack of thinking and communication. And the way you were ready to prioritize her over your game, her husband couldn't relate. You showed that you can put other people's needs before your own. That you can be considerate and thoughtful. It's a good sign that you're growing up and learning to think of others.

When she arrived at a red light her eyes looked at you. Your head turned toward the window. She shamelessly examined you, your jawline, your nose, your eyes, your hair. Everything about you was attractive. She felt a connection between the two of you like she had known you for a lifetime. She couldn't help but smile, her cheeks blushing from the warmth she felt. She wished the light wouldn't turn green, so she could keep admiring you.

The light changed its color unfortunately, she had butterflies in her stomach as she realized what she's been thinking about. She was infatuated by you, and badly. No more denying it.

taglist - @raven-ss @godsfavouritelesbiann @jennasslut @niqmandu @amburntfreeman @returnnofdamac @starry-night17 @get-the-fuck-outta-here @morganismspam23

[respectthepetty]

do you happen to have any other bls with toxic kings up your sleeve? i’m as giddy as you when it comes to ming! i’m newer to bls, so there’s a good chance i haven’t seen whatever you suggest.

Anon, I have an entire roster of toxic characters because

I LOVE TOXIC BITCHES!

Like 2 Chainz rapped on one of my favorite songs, "I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem" which is why I HATE when a story won't allow characters to be toxic. Like we all know the character IS toxic, but the story keeps telling us he isn't that bad or he is only that bad because reasons. Regardless of the reasons, the character is a bad bitch so why not just let him fucking own it, which is truly the reason Only Friends pissed me off so much.

Case and point, my favorite characters were Ray and Nick. Ray was calling Sand a whore every two seconds and throwing money at him, while Nick was recording non-consexual sex tapes, yet the narrative wanted me to think they were just sad dudes who were slightly problematic.

NAH! Nick straight up said he was trash! THEY WERE TOXIC just like everyone else in that damn show!

Which is why I liked Kang in Dangerous Romance because I don't feel like the narrative eased up on his toxicity. In fact, I feel like the story said Sailom was into it with that master/servant scene at the very end.

So in order for me to love a toxic character, they must 1) be considered toxic by the story, and 2) stay toxic, so I'm going to give you a list of ten of my favorites, but know that spoilers are coming your way too. Also know that I do not recommend anything, ever, so these are not recommendations. These are merely my favorite toxicitos.

Mis tóxicos favoritos

presented in no particular order

Todd - Not Me

This man had his lover (it's canon to me) beat into a coma. Then, he went and grabbed that man's twin brother and made him take on his lover's persona all so he could overthrow his competition and be the number one evil capitalist. And then, AND THEN, he was excited to see his lover, Black, return even though he knew that meant he was probably going to die. Honestly, his entire relationship with Black was toxic, and I desperately need more of it. Not Me 2: Blackout when? WHEN, GMMTV?!

Rio & Kido - The Novelist Series

Rio blew Kido in front of an old man in broad daylight, so they could get a book deal. That's just one of the many fucked up things these two did together, but they were even worse apart. Rio lied to a college student for months about his arm being injured and writing pornographic novels just to turn on the college student and fuck him because . . . he was bored? It's deeper than that, but it kinda ain't. Rio and Kido did toxic shit to feel alive and that's my special brand of toxic. I will never make excuses for them. I like them this way.

Yai - Big Dragon

The very beginning of this show, as in the very first scene, is Yai and Mangkorn having sex AFTER Yai drugged Mangkorn in hopes of sexually assaulting him and recording it. AND MANGKORN IS INTO IT! Yai tries to steal Mangkorn's phone and ruin his life too, but Mangkorn is so in love with Yai, that he is willing to play along with whatever Yai does including fighting Yai. This is one of my favorite BLs for a multitude of reasons, but the biggest is because instead of trying to tame Yai, Mangkorn just decided to match his toxic energy! I love that for them.

Songpol - Club Friday

Bank plays toxic very well, which is why he has two characters on this list, even though this show isn't technically a BL. Club Friday is already a hot mess express, so to be the most toxic character in a show filled with toxic characters means that Songpol was TOK-SICK! He cheated on his boyfriend with multiple men. When his boyfriend left him for a woman, he showed up outside of that woman's house calling her a whore. He then went to their wedding just so he could fuck his ex in a bathroom (on his wedding day). He continued to hook up with his ex, and sent a video to his ex's wife of them having sex, only for her to tell him to move into the house and continue having sex with her husband! AND THAT'S ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE! He was serving telenovela villain, and I want him back.

Vegas - KinnPorsche

The scene: Vegas' beloved hedgehog has just died and he has carried out a tiny funeral for him while the bodyguard he has been holding hostage AND TORTURING comforts him, but instead of sitting in that grief, Vegas tells the bodyguard that the bodyguard is probably turned on by seeing Vegas weak, then proceeds to fuck him. Skipping over the fact that Vegas drugged Porsche, killed Tawan, got Big and Ken murdered by extension, and a plethora of other horrible shit, Vegas was a HUGE red flag from the very beginning, and I wanted him to choke me so badly. *bites knuckles*

Charn - Laws of Attraction

He had his reasons, but the story and his husband didn't let that be an excuse for his toxic behavior. He tried burning down Tinn's house, with Tinn and his grandmother in it, and Tinn was very upset about it. Not enough to not sleep with Charn, but enough to get his point across that if Charn wanted to burn something down, he needed to focus on burning down the oppressive heteronormative government, so we could all have basic human rights. Toxic, but for the cause.

Chalothon - The Sign

I knew he was a problem because the way he handled his patients, but he truly proved how toxic he was when he told Phaya he would kill Tharn before letting Phaya have him. I'm mad that the show made him good in the last episode, with most of if being off-screen, but I'll always remember how he committed psychological warfare on Phaya for eleven episodes in hopes of making Phaya seem crazy, and actually made Tharn, Phaya's soulmate, question Phaya's sanity.

Mol - 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

The only woman on this list and she isn't even queer. That's how toxic this chick was that she made it on a this list being a heterosexual, which was a major part of her toxicity. She is a top-tier gaslighter to her son. She doesn't actually consider Inn her friend. She uses feminist rhetoric to be homophobic. She manipulates every situation in her favor by using tears. I could write a list just about her being lead paint toxic, but the most fucked up part is that she got to ride off into the sunset with her son in the passenger seat being miserable, which is what she wanted. No other BL parent could reach her level. Korn and Gun from KinnPorsche exist, yet this woman would eat them alive without hesitation, then go throw a party for herself. She really is that bitch.

Yong Jie - HIStory 4: Close to You

I'm not going to bullshit around him being a whole ass problem. This motherfucker is the most controversial pick on this list, and I am well aware of why he is hated by the people, but the story told us he was the devil. The show treated everything he did like stalking, physical assault, and sexual assault as horrible, and he got knocked out for it. HIStory 4 is my favorite BL, ever, and part of it is because the story let this toxic motherfucker BE toxic. I love how much I hate him, and I love how much the story allows me to hate him.

So - House of Stars

This show was a mess, so I was not expecting this man to come out as THE toxic king to rule over every other toxic character. What made him so toxic is that I had no idea just how toxic he was until the exact moment I realized it, and that's why he is one of my favorites. He was sneaky. He was playing everyone against each other. He was letting the bodies stack up. He was Tan from Dead Friend Forever without anyone figuring out he was Tan. One person realized part of his plan, but even then, that person was not aware of how committed to the bit So was. This smile was the very last scene of the show, and it really proved that this boy ruined everyone's lives only to walk out of it completely unbothered. You know, king shit.

[xaeethebaee]

random nsfw hcs part 3? 👀 (i’m tryna see sum about baji)

Random NSFW Headcanons Part Three

MINORS DNI! 18+ FOLKS ONLY!

You asked, so I am delivering. Just like the first two times, these are random sexual headcanons about the characters of Tokyo Revengers.

Warnings: Implied violence, mentions of vomit, implied food play, VERY awkward dirty talk, and rim jobs

A/n: Please keep in mind that every single character is over 18!

Hanma thought it would be funny to blow cigarette smoke into your pussy. He has a broken nose now. (Off to a great start lol)

Sanzu often thinks about whether or not he has a bigger dick than Mikey

Shion's favorite sex position is reverse cowgirl because of how fast it makes him cum. He also cums so hard that he quickly gets overstimulated

Speaking of Shion's love for overstimulation, he'll stay in that position until he's sobbing and shooting blanks

Izana has a peculiar habit of lifting your skirt and smacking your ass no matter the location

Yuzuha's favorite place to sit is on your face (as the Queen should!)

Rindou has an entire playlist for sex. These are all songs that he has mixed himself

Don't complain about period cramps around Benkei because he will definitely love to fuck the cramps out of you

Kisaki's favorite method of punishing you is by handcuffing your hands to the bed and edging you with toys for hours

Wrap a fruit roll up around Nahoya's dick and suck it until the candy dissolves will cause him to propose on the spot

Mitsuya secretly taught Inupi the trick of getting girls to squirt with just his fingers

The slow and romantic love-making types are SHINICHIRO, KAKUCHO, HAKKAI, MITSUYA, Kokonoi, Souya, Benkei, Peh, Rindou, Chifuyu, Sanzu, South, and Mucho

Baji has volunteered you to model for Mitsuya's newest and sexiest lingerie set

One day, Rindou accidentally walked in on Ran holding a cucumber. He quickly left before he could witness what could happen next.

Kokonoi writes erotica novels using sexual experiences told by members of Toman and Black Dragons

Takemichi made Hinata cum by just sucking on her nipples

Wakasa once sprayed whipped cream all over your pussy and proceeded to lick it completely clean

Who lives for fucking while being recorded? (wannabe pornstars lol) HANMA, SOUTH, RAN, Sanzu, and Shion.

Ran has MANY sex tapes with his ex-girlfriends

Surprisingly, Hanma has a low body count (less than 10 people)

Mitsuya never had a threesome until Baji randomly showed up at his studio with you - his girlfriend

These dudes LOVE to have their faces to be sat on. SHION, HANMA, SOUTH, Kokonoi, Shinichiro, Takeomi, Mikey, and Mucho

Kisaki likes head more than sex because it makes him feel more dominant

South gets so filthy when he is eating your pussy, so prepare for him to also give your ass some attention too. Honestly, he'll worship your entire body with his tongue

Inupi is actually really self-conscious when it comes to sex so please reassure him

Pah-chin and his wife are members of the Mile-High club

Draken's dirty talk NEEDS improvement. "You wanna be fucked, bitch?" he asks in a monotone voice, completely destroying the mood

On the flip side, the king of Dirty Talk is hands down WAKASA IMAUSHI. The things he'll whisper in your ear will have you feeling your heartbeat in your clit

Taiju loves fucking missionary since he gets to watch your face contort with pleasure under him

Speaking of Taiju, he has MAJOR breeding kink energy

Smiley once stuck his fingers so deep down your throat that it caused you to vomit. It turned him on more

The day Kazutora was given a boobjob was the day he shot boatloads of cum all over your chest. It was so much that he could've impregnated an entire village

Chifuyu went through a phase where he would roleplay cheesy porn plots with you (ex: wife fucking the pool cleaner guy)

The rough-fucking types (bye bye your ability to walk for a day): HANMA, BAJI, SMILEY, Kisaki, Mocchi, Ran, Izana, Senju, and Taiju

Hakkai forgets that he has a big dick way too often so he'll try fucking without properly prepping you. Please remind him unless you like the pain

Senju LOVES boobplay - whether it be receiving or giving

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are just some more that I can think of. Don't expect a part 4 any time soon lol

Just a quick announcement, my next big project is centered around members of the Tokyo Manji Gang. They will be sharing their wildest sex stories. If you want to be on the taglist for that, let me know. (If you're wandering, the Reader x Draken x Hanma threesome is included in that)

[earthtoharlow]

;) SERIES MASTERLIST

PERVIOUS

THESHADEROOM

liked by 19,578 users

theshaderoom: Oh Lord! #JackHarlow opens up in a new interview about where he stands with #Drake and on his marriage to Stacey James!

When asked if they have spoken since the news broke that he had a baby with his famous ex Y/N Y/L, Harlow says “No, we haven’t spoken at all. Frankly, I still don’t have anything to say to him. It’s a fucked up situation but you know what they say “Never meet your heroes” They won't last anyway.

When pressed on if the dms to Y/N were actually him, he says “Not to believe everything you see on the internet, especially from someone as attention seeking as Y/N. For a new mother, she has a lot of time on her hands. "

view all 10,573 comments

user: he do everthing but drop good music ;/

user: boy is sooo hurt

user: it stacey not concerned that her man keeps talking about his ex he claims he hates??????

user: what happened to him? He used to be so sweet

user: This all could've been avoided if he didn't cheat on Y/N

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

liked by selenagomez, icespice, dojacat, meekmill, saweetie, sza, urbanwyatt and 1,031,278 others

champagnepapi: my baby momma realer than a lot of you niggas

comments on this post have been limited

celeb: dude just called us all pussies

celeb: shots to harlow 👀

nickiminaj: look at my baby 😍

celeb: dude won at life

yourinsta: realer than real 🤭 love you daddy

celeb: HIS LOSS

YOURINSTA

liked by icespice, summerwalker, justinbieber, stormreid, chloebailey, drakereated, and 56,026 others

yourinsta: Talk about a throwback! Who would’ve thought this man would be the father of my daughter🥹

view all 10,589 comments

user: it’s the leg kick up for me

user: I hate seeing people live my dreams

user: look at baby Ariel 😍

champagnepapi: Aw man I’ve never seen this 🤣

druski: I thought I had a chance

yourinsta: why would you think that

user: love seeing you so happy

urbanwyatt: haven’t spoken in a while but it makes me smile seeing you so happy

yourinsta: twin 4lyfe 🫶 no matter what

BALLERALERT

liked by 17,073 users

balleralert: uh oh! Drake dropped a new song last night and he had some things to say about Jack Harlow and his wife Stacey James. If you weren’t aware, Jack and Stacey have been shading Y/N Y/L since the news dropped that she was dating and had a baby with the megastar rapper.

view all 6,036 comments

user: aye drake funny as hell

user: nigga said sidebar your husband a groupie 🤣🤣

user: draaaaag him!!!

user: glad he finally said something!

user: Jack deserved this

user: there’s levels to this bar, Jack growing up a huge fan of Drake and then Jack not being able to stop talking about Y/N

user: well, Drake did say he would spin bout y/n

THATGIRLSTACEY

liked by kimkardashian, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, joeywagner, yungskylark, urbanwyatt and 686,456 others

thatgirlstacey: No one can break our bond.

Sidebar, Aubrey don’t let have to tell your baby momma that you and I go WAY back.

view all 12,036 comments

user: oh shit

user: bruh y/n will never have peace

user: ok but look how big Willow is now!

user: wish Y/n never got involved with Jack and his messiness

druski: uh 😳

saweetie: if you gonna talk shit about my friend then put a name to it.

user: you a messy bitch fr

user: y’all both groupies

yourinsta: you rang?

user: how y/n name taste since it stay in your mouth

champagnepapi: unlike your husband, I tell my girl the truth about everything 🤨 so she knows everything about me

champagnepapi: oh and @jackharlow who was that white girl you were kissing at the club last weekend in Miami?

user: OMG!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------

SURPRISE! I recently hit 600 followers so i decided to make this for you guys as a thank you! Can't believe I have so many of you reading and enjoying my work. I love you guys so much!

this is being posted while i'm on vaction so this is queued post, I can't wait to read all of ya'll reactions when I get back!

I know I said this series was over but let's just pretend I didn't. I'll post a new one whenever I think of more messy drama haha

ENJOY!

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @macey234 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby​ @xxkoolkatxx @itsyagirljaz

NEXT PART

[taeyongsfemdom]

| An Unhinged Deep Dive of Taeyong's SuperM Trailer (aka me just loosing my mind) |

Hey bitches! In honor of SuperM's five year anniversary, I wanted to talk about the insanity of the individual teasers that SM dropped for each member of this group, but we're only gonna be talking about Taeyong’s obviously. I have been dying to talk about this video because it has fucked me up for the past four years of me being an tyongf 😮‍💨.

I'm not ready to do this.

Okay so for context, each member had a specific superpower (to match with the "avengers of kpop" nickname blah blah blah! We definitely will not be getting into that shit rn bc it's not necessary) some powers were easy to identify and some weren't. Before we talk about Taeyong, I have a quick side rant. An ex-friend and I were fascinated by these trailers for a solid month during 2020 and we were trying to figure what the fuck they meant. If anyone wants a thorough deep dive into each trailer watch this video by Bookish Theories ⬇️.

Last thing i'll say is that as much as I love Taeyong, I do not watch this video. I swear to god it makes me tf black out and I don't remember what happened after I'm done watching it lmao. IT'S SO WILD. Also I do apologize for anything inappropriate flies out of mouth, when it comes to Taeyong who knows wtf I'll say.

Fuck here we go...

So the video opens up with my wife in a empty movie theater and is like where tf is everybody?

Quick question: why didn't Taeyong get popcorn? He's at the movies so it's necessary to get a large bucket of popcorn that's drowned in butter 🍿🧈 ....anywho.

In the movie, Taeyong wakes up in this greenhouse that gives off major witch vibes, it reminds me of the movie "The Love Witch". There's candles, neon lights and this huge altar with a sun sign that he blocks off with his big ass head. This shot is immaculate btw.

We get various shots of wifey like this.

Oh and then there’s this:

This shot of him walking should be illegal and caused me to blackout.

Oh wait then there’s these shots JEEZ.

My eye is twitching-

FVCKFKDFGJDHGDKF oh god-

FUCK.

What the hell was I saying? OH-

Back to the movie, this evil Taeyong clone shows up out of nowhere and holds him at GUNPOINT omfg.

LIKE HELLO?!?!?!

We don't know if the clone gets shot because the screen goes black and guess who fucking pops up??? fuckin' Taemin 🙃. Then the movie ends and the entire theater is filled with Taeyong clones, I think there was like 20 in there oh lord have mercy i'm-

I genuinely don't think I could get all of them pregnant, but a bitch can mf try.

20 Taeyongs in one room is a nightmare and a dream bc I will actually lose my mind.

The next thing we need to talk about is how good Taeyong looks in this video, very obsessed with his hair color and THIS JACKET! 😵😵😵

I want this jacket so bad! It's sauurrr beautiful! I honestly might recreate it one day tbh. Also enjoy this picture that has me foaming at the mouth and makes my dick twitch ⬇️

You guys understand why i'd sit on his face???

As I wrap this up, I'm very salty as SM for dropping these and not giving us a follow up on these videos. They left us HIGH AND DRY and made us all confused as shit, these trailers did pop up for like five seconds in the One (Monster and Infinity) MV and it gagged tf outta me. Turns out it was a teaser for Aespa 🤣

If anyone wanted to know what my favorite SuperM songs are: Tiger Inside, No Manners, ICSTR, Step Up, and Better Days.

That's it for me here! Love ya'll 💕💕

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

I saw you were doing postal matchups and wanted to see who you’d pair me with

I’m a 27 year old woman, Mexican American with short brown hair and brown eyes. I’m 5’4” and chubby with tan skin and birthmarks scattered across my face. My sense of style leans toward gothic and grungy with the occasional dress here and there (no heels but with combat boots or converse). I can come off as rude or standoffish but get to know me and I care immensely about someone. I have a sarcastic and somewhat dark sense of humor. With the right motivation I can do anything. I love reading, cooking/baking and long walks after dark. I worry if the trauma of my home life makes me unlovable. I can either lash out or close myself off if my depressive episodes get bad. My favorite bands are Green Day, RHCP, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, and Weezer. My favorite solo artists are Kendrick Lamar, SZA and Tyler the creator. My favorite colors are purple and olive green. My favorite movies are Carrie, Nope, Pacific Rim and The guardians of the galaxy trilogy

Hello there! I love your Ramona Flowers pfp by the way! My favorite character is Knives

Your Postal Prince Charming is:

Postal 4 Dude

He had experienced love at first sight when you walked by him. The Dude was busy trying to catch animals at a temp job and decided to attempt wooing you instead. You give him a chance despite being a bit of a weirdo. What neither of you expected was just how perfect you two are for each other

Dude still dabbles in dark humor with you. But he somewhat eases up with the sarcasm. At the very least, he’s been in a better mood since he and Champ have been on the road living life post-bitch of an ex-wife.

Your love song together is Island in the Sun by Weezer

He’s totally down for action films! He’s wimped out a little in terms of horror, but he’ll still watch it with you. Expect him to whisper wisecracking comments when you watch a film. He’s grown into a cuddler too. Definitely loves Nope and Guardians of the Galaxy. The Dude wants to watch The Big Lebowski together

Dude is always strolling around to see what trouble to get himself into. He’d be more than happy for his pretty woman to come along with him.

Living on gas station food, he sheds a tear of joy trying your cooking. You know how to keep The Dude happy. He’ll already love you forever, but if you really want to make his day, stir fry him some pork lo mein. It’s his favorite food.

Go easy on him please he’s not a reader. He’s struggling to read 2nd grade chapter book. He does a funny version of Goodnight Moon though. It’s a bit similar to how Oderus from GWAR read it a while back

Do not doubt yourself. You’ve always been worthy of love. Dude feels terrible you have been through so much. Granted, he had a horrible upbringing that lead to the domino effect of living in Paradise: the worst years of his entire life. “But you know what? They lost someone who cared about them. We’re a family of our own already.” You, him and Champ are a family already. And this is just the beginning of a better life you deserve

[avionvadion]

One, really love the drabble regarding El and Lucifer. Especially since you can tell Lucifer is struggling to stay in the moment, but Elanora is doing a pretty good job keeping him grounded in reality. Which works out in his favor because that actively lets him start writing the letter instead of giving up before he even starts.

Two, I admit it. Whilst I know the circumstances probably won't let it happen, I can totally see El joining in on Ellie and Charlie's duet during "You Didn't Know" (maybe she was dragged along so she can guilt trip the higher ups of Heaven lol) because sure, she may not be able to come up with lyrics on the spot, but I can see her being able to join in on that sort of thing. And, well, considering everything revealed at Heaven El would be justified in getting a bit angry at Sera alongside Ellie and Charlie-

Alsjslsjlaksks thank youuuu! 💕💕💕

I struggled so hard trying to write Lucifer a song. El was going to sing a song that followed the line of “trust me” but I couldn’t find one outside of FnaF and Jungle Book (oh the irony there) before scrolling through my old middle school Sound Cloud playlist and was like, wait. Holy frick. Lost Within fits Luci so well???? And thus that happened, lol.

Anyways! Sorry. I ramble.

Luci’s brain is so scrambled, he needs someone to pull him back sometimes. I imagine there ends up being a few moments when he and El are together and he starts to get so distant it actually starts to scare her, and she ends up grabbing his arm- surprising him and snapping him out of his spiraling mind- to make sure he doesn’t just… disappear.

And for sure El would go with them. Charlie will be using her to be like, “All the Sinners at the hotel have been protecting this poor, innocent soul that was wrongly summoned to Hell! She’s been helping me redeem them, one step at a time!”

Heaven is absolutely going to lose their shit because WHAT DO YOU MEAN A HUMAN WAS SUMMONED INTO HELL!??? Emily would be ecstatic while Sera is just… no longer functioning.

They probably try to convince her to stay in Heaven instead since she’s so “pure hearted” or whatever and it’d be safer for her, but El is like, “Haha sorry I promised Lucifer a thing so I gotta stay” and they’re like “LUCIFER!??? WHAT PROMISE!???” “Ah, well, he said he’d protect me if I give him advice about some stuff and I kinda gotta be in Hell for that…” and Adam just fucking loses it. “BITCH YOU’RE STAYING IN HELL FOR THAT FUCKING LOSER???” “That loser’s ex wife used to be YOUR wife, dude” “SHUT THE FUCK UP, STAY IN HELL. HOPE YOU DIE TOMORROW AND TURN INTO A DEMON SO I CAN EXTERMINATE YOU NEXT WEEK”

(Adam immediately gets smacked upside the head by Sera)

I think by that point in time, El has been in Hell for so long she can participate in songs- but she can’t burst out singing with one of her own. Also maybe her relationship with Lucifer comes into a play a bit, since he’s magic (ancient magic, specifically) and… well…

Being repeatedly exposed to magic would certainly start letting one be affected by it, right? Haha… ha… ahem. Maybe she isn’t wholly human anymore after a while. El may not have fallen or died, but giving oneself to the literal King of Hell, former archangel or not, isn’t about to let you stay Human. 👀

Anyways. Yeah. El would be pissed and would probably throw shade at the angel council that, while Hell may be full of horrors, the people there are at least honest- something Angels are supposed to be- and have gone out of their way to make her feel welcome, whereas Heaven is full of hypocrites and assholes like Adam who just make her uncomfortable.

“If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie! If Angels can do whatever and remain in the sky!” Ellie hops up on the table behind Emily and Charlie. “The rules are shades of gray, when you don’t do as you say! When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again!”

Hell is Forever is such a freaking bop though oh my gods. You Didn’t Know a masterful reprise of it.

I’m obsessed with Loser, Baby though. It’s so swingy and jazzy and UGH. It’s so good.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

my assumption is that alastor already sold his soul to lilith while he was alive, earning him a boon of pre-installed op abilities in his next life/beyond the grave (hell). and if the overlord rumour that alastor had been taken out by an exterminator had any traces of truth, maybe he did “die” activating his end of the bargain with lilith- full control of his soul/person. maybe he used to be on a very long loose leash, basically independent, but now that lilith’s cashed-in the leash has been reeled in taught.

still unsure about the 7 year gap, he tends to play it off as time spent doing something mysterious for his benefit that others should be wary of, which is 100% a bluff to throw prying minds off course. his interaction with husk suggested to me that whatever happened was something thats severely compromised alastor, he’d prefer people not know about it- “they don’t need to know” vs. they must never know about it. so it’s something that he could theoretically survive/push through, but would still be a major pain in the ass or ruin his reputation, something he’d need to haul-ass to regain his status. it being revealed that he doesn’t even own his own soul could be it, but that reveal doesn’t exactly feel juicy enough of a payoff somehow. i want the tea to be steeped

some thoughts are that maybe it took 7 years for alastor to reform (“we can rebuild him!” haha) or get his shit together enough to return to service, or maybe it took 7 years to bring him to heel, condition/break him in enough to do as he’s ordered. he doesn’t seem like the type to go down without a fight. or it was just 7 years of boring services, maybe he was liliths grumpy butler or something, unceremoniously dropped back into the serving class with husk and/or nifty. also, “I spent 7 years scrubbing floors for your ex wife and all she did was bitch about you the entire time” would be a funny reason alastor was so irritated by lucifer visiting the hotel

that’s my essay WHAT ARE YOUR THEORIES

I loved your essay!

I'm also curious about what led to Alastor and Lilith disappearing for seven years. One theory I have is that Alastor's growing power prompted Lilith to intervene, possibly imprisoning him somewhere. She stayed close to ensure he remained supervised, releasing him only when he agreed to sign the contract and protect Charlie. Alternatively, he might have been under the contract already, and Lilith took him as her bodyguard for unknown reasons when she had to leave (maybe she's doing some dangerous quest? I can't imagine another reason why she'd left Charlie). Or maybe she took him as a butler, that would be fucking iconic (maybe Lucifer knows what's the deal and that's why he out Alastor into butler clothes during the song!). Before episode 5, I liked the idea that Alastor and Lilith were friends who left Pentagram City to chill and sing together. This would paint Lilith in a different light, considering we only know Charlie's idealized version of her. Before the Husker scene, I even thought Alastor's hate for Lucifer stemmed from his loyalty to his bestie.

Oh, oh, considering Alastor selling his soul while alive—what if his crimes were sacrifices made for Lilith? He's the sole demon surrounded by Veves when using his powers. Perhaps he had somehow mixed VooDoo and occult and connected with Lilith accidentally?

Also, I think that Lilith tricked him into selling his soul, that's why he's extremely bitter about it.

[star-crossed-mid]

A family doesn't need to be a husband, a wife, a daughter, and a son.

Sometimes a family is a group of star-based zodiac celestial beings that consists of:

a fish themed celestial being who lost their immortality and takes YOLO too literally

a war-torn human turned god

a demi-god (who found out late in the story that he was adopted)

the wine aunt who is still grieving their ex and may also be the god of wisdom/clairvoyance but can't make a smart decision

the strawberry cow song + bitch im a cow song personified and merged with parental issues

a god who sleeps through anything, and everything, and owns 200+ squishmallows

the slayyy girlboss gaslight gatekeep demon spawn pretending to be holy

the dude who may have accidentally summoned the ultimate evil and feels an endless amount of guilt about it, the consequences of this event accidentally creating more cycles of punishment. They also have a ponytail

a god whose mental health is a broken mirror and will have a breakdown if any minor inconvenience happens like dropping their slice of pie on the ground also hes like 2?? ppl

a crab who likes keychains

a dude who can feel the heat of his past actions

an allmighty god with enough power to wipe reality at a snap of his fingers and happens to have the personality of a cat stuck in a tree

and their ex-god turned human friend with an affinity for the stars, that they harass on a weekly basis after work hours.

I love dysfunctional found families

all i can imagine is that one vine of the dude climbing on top of the fridge and saying 'this house is a fucking nightmare' in each story all 13 of these mfs are in the mansion.