#he apologizes after

[rxin3akamallory]

Something oddly specific that I think would be funny

Kenji is a plushie thrower

Context

Every time I bring a plush home or present one to my dad, he responds by throwing it across the room like it’s a football (I can confirm my Bumpy plushie and my Indominous plushie have already been thrown around)

I can imagine Ben or Sammy giving Kenji a plushie and he just says nothing, then he THROWS it across the room

“KENJI WTF!”

“MY BABY NOOOO!”

[snartfulisms]

Scouts step towards tolerance

[beescake]

im a sollux kinnie and ur art is great. like a delicious meal. 1 million courses. my compliments to the chef.

AOGHHH TYSM I REALLY APPRECIATE IT

in gratitude i present a little guy doing setup for the first time 🐝

[achelata]

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

willingly unloved

[marisatomay]

so cool that fanfiction won anne rice’s war on fanfiction

[hey-hey-j]

(sort of a companion piece to this)

older brother instinct

(★ my Kofi)

[clownsuu]

I got really bad art block atm again so take some mini doodles I did in my spare time 👍

cw minor implied(?) blood

I almost forgot about the existence of my Emo howdy w h o o p s KSHHHDJDHD

also sometimes I get reminded that Howdy’s “blood” is blue instead of red and I get surprised every single time

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

fwb toji who is furious when you come home (you let him crash at your place) telling him with a broad smile that the mechanic was kind enough to give you premium air on your tires "for only $120 for all four tires!" and he's fuming, already on his feet, "no no sweetheart," he tells you, "they scammed you. why didn't you call me in the first place?" and suddenly you're shy, giving him a shrug that nearly wounds him if it weren't for the hard thumping of his heart. "give me your keys, baby. I'm gonna take care of it."

[thattripleabattery]

Scott (not knowing Logan’s like 200): so old man, how was the Great Depression

Logan (tired): it was fine

[hoshiina]

— a guy asks for your number ft. hoshina, narumi, reno

warnings: mentions dick and profanities in hoshina's

[plagalkey]

ENERGETIC ⚡️

you make me feel so high

[scuderiamint]

the difference between what the media has been spewing for days now after the Austrian GP vs what the drivers are saying now is so funny

the media was like "BAN VERSTAPPEN, THIS MAN WILL KILL SOMEONE ON TRACK SOON, HE SUCKS ASS AT WHEEL TO WHEEL 😡🤬🔪vs the drivers being like 'it is Not that deep 🙄, its racing"

special shoutout to Lewis Hamilton, who just said 'it aint my problem, dont involve me' lmao

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[chandralia]

woke up to find Bakugo’s apology getting analyzed by academic professionals in a zento mock exam

[shotmrmiller]

I need older boyfriend Simon to hold my hands like this while he fucks me stupid and tells me how pretty I look taking his humongous cock.

Help!! 😞

humongous lmaoooooo

your two hands in his one always slaps

ugh i like older bf simon to be kinda mean. like oh where's all that big talk of riding him like a horse??? look at you with clumped lashes and glassy eyes and swollen lips beneath him as you take what he gives you without complaint like a good girl.