#he also mentions triangle of sadness (again?)

[kimingyuslover]

Love me not

Love isn't too late for anyone, right? Word count : 2,324 words Pairing : kim mingyu x reader Genre : angst, love triangle, bestf to (?) Warnings : uhh, as always, tears (duh), mingyu is straight-up asshole, reader is a girlboss and also a resident doctor, wonwoo's a cardiothoracic surgeon, mingyu's job is not specified, mentions of drink, kind of minimal dialogue but at the same time it's not & like 1 (one) curse word, lmk if i miss any! ★ i'm in my active era, with nothing to do in my life so I just decided to write this in like, what, total 8 hours? it’s just a random thought that caught up in my mind for dayssss. need to repost this (cry)

☆ check out my other works > main masterlist

Mingyu's smile flattered when he read the invitation envelope he received this morning. There, he found a picture of you with another man— the man he saw at the coffee shop.

He could feel the way his heart clenched, and he sensed a twinge of jealousy in his heart.

Perhaps it's his fault, not caring about you enough that makes you think that you can't handle him anymore.

Or the way he would cancel your meetings abruptly because he just got a call from Jira where he rushes to everywhere she goes without asking any questions. Leaving you hanging alone in the restaurant that you both had decided to have dinner together.

The way he always mentions her names in every conversation, bringing her like she's the goddess god sent from the sky himself.

God, he can even imagine the way your smile slightly dropped and the disappointment evident on your face when he brought up her name that he had once not noticed, not caring about what you had said earlier.

Despite that, you stay by his side, offering your shoulder everytime he feels sad because of her, assuring him that he’s enough.

Mingyu remembers the day when everything started to shift.

You're not as welcome to him as before. Always avoid meeting him in person, and you are always busy.

He thinks it's normal at first, you're a resident after all, of course you're going to get busy someday that you can't even spare a glance or reply to his texts.

Meanwhile you, on the other hand, think that it's the best for you. Well, it is.

You're willing to step-out from the “more than friends but not in a relationship” situation with him, your heart also aches really great while you have to stay calm for him when he's telling his story, with her in it.

So after a while, you decided that you had enough of his & Jira's story, and you need to move on.So you do what you have to do earlier this time, you avoid him, busying yourself with patience, and always looking for surgery that needs an assistant, minimising your interaction with him.It's not that hard, actually. You're literally a cardiac resident. You will always get busy.

There you met who you called now– the love of your life, Jeon Wonwoo. He’s the main doctor for organ transplant operation, and you're the assistant.

After the operation was successful, he treated you to a coffee shop down the road and both of you had fun, talking about patience cases that you have, and even some stories on the ER where you are located right now.

“So, any interest in a relationship, or you're just single?” He asks while sipping his cup of ice americano– he claims that's what keeps him awake in every before or after a big operation.

You think for a few seconds, this is the first time when you feel like yourself again and have people asking about you, not any other person.

Feeling like you zoned out, he calls your name again, in which you respond with a shy smile on your face, and you apologise for spacing out.

You open your mouth to speak again, “No, I don't have any interest in a relationship for now, I want to focus on being a doctor first, like you!” you said with a light-hearted laugh. He did the same.

Then someone opens the coffee shop door, making the bell rings, your eyes trained to the glass door, you freeze when you see Mingyu, in all his glory.

He seems to notice you too, but when he looks in your direction, you already turn your eyes towards the doctor in front of you. Yes, he searched for you in the ER, but the receptionist said that you're currently in a cafe with a doctor.

After placing his order, he sat next to the counter, waiting for his name to be called by the barista.

He noticed the way you laugh so freely, like the burden on your shoulder just lift up when you are with that man.

He frowns, you never be as free as you are right now when you're with him, you always keep your distance, and he's your best friend! That doctor is just someone you met along the way.

[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]

“What do you want, Mingyu?” That's it, no more ‘gyu’ and the tone of your voice is cold, stabbing him in the heart.

He took a long breath, “What's wrong with us? You never seem to notice me anymore. Hundreds of my messages go unread, and you never gave me a check”

His words really make you wanna laugh. What's wrong with you both? You don't know, but one thing for sure, he needs you to tell the story about him and his beloved to you, crying his heart out and then leaving like nothing's going on between you.

You bite your bottom lip. Before allowing yourself to let out a chuckle, Mingyu cuts you off.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not a time for that” You seriously want to punch the guy in front of you, “You not here anymore when i needed you the most, Jira and i–”

That's where you draw the line, you put your “I don't care, Mingyu. Actually, fuck you kim mingyu” His breath hitched when you said that, hands growing cold.

“You are always nagging this and that about you and Jira, I don't care about her, I only care about you, all my whole life I only cared about you” Your finger pointed at him accusingly.

You stop yourself for a second, trying to catch your breath, you see Mingyu opening his mouth, wanting to speak but you cut him off.

“No, you don't get to say anything about this. All i ever do is just a backburner, the person who you came when you have any problems and dump all your problems with me, and then when you feel better you always go to her even you knew that she would make the same mistake over and over again and you will come running to me with your tears stricken face”

“You promise to listen to me too, I've had enough of your drama, I've talked to you before you even brought her up, and somehow you still did even if it's not relevant. I'm sacrificing my own happiness for you, Jira had everything i've ever wanted and that is you”

You snatched your bag from the seat beside you, pulled out a 50 dollar bill, put it on the table and you stormed off.

Mingyu was just sitting there, and that's when he felt it come back. The ache in his heart, he feels his heart clenched in the worst way possible.

Only you can make him feel like this, not even Jira can do this to him. Hearing the words fall off from your mouth is hurting him, and he doesn't know why.

[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. It's been approximately 7 months since the last time Mingyu saw you and heard from you.

You moved out from your old apartment the next day, making him ponder since when you start to pack your things, have you been planning this all the months back?

In the first month, he felt so lonely without your presence, no one sent him a ‘good morning’ ‘evening’ and ‘night’ text, his apartment also felt cold without you.

You used to come here often on saturday and sunday night, warming up the apartment with movies ready on your disk.

Now, his weekend nights feel empty, no one would play and watch his favorite movie with him.

And in the third month he realised when he saw you again, this time with Wonwoo beside you, talking and laughing together. He felt a throbbing pain in his heart when he saw that scenery.

oh.

oh.

All the times he felt in your presence, is the sign that he likes you or worse yet— loves you.

He realised he never felt anything towards Jira, that it's just a passing crush to keep his true deep feeling. He has liked you since the day you turned 14, the way your eyes light up when your family and him decide to surprise you in your sleep.

The memory just made his wound that he considered still fresh getting sprinkled by a handful pinch of salt.

It burns him alive and he loses all the respect he has for himself.

He thinks he has moved on, the old trick under the sleeves, getting over someone by getting under someone.And finally, it's now been a year and a half since he last heard from you.

Mingyu walks to his apartment with groceries on both of his hands, and then when he gets inside, he puts the things on his kitchen counter and goes to the bedroom to change his outerwear.

He's not in the mood to do anything today, so he took his laptop to watch some movies, but then an email caught his attention, it's from you.

So he opens it, and finds an envelope there.

Mingyu read the body of the email, because a word cought on his eyes.

hi, sorry. I know we have been in no contact for a year and a half, but I want to invite you, we once have something, don't we? :) Love is in the air.docx

He lets out a shaky breath, scared if he opens the document then his heart would shatter to the ground beneath his feet.Oh well, he opens it with hesitation on his face and heart. He takes a deep breath before finally opening the invitation.

The document has three pictures of you with him, the doctor he hates so much with all of his heart despite there's no interaction between them.

It’s a wedding card.

There's the date and time of your wedding ceremony and the reception.

He feels his tears on the edge of his eyes, threatening to fall right now and then, he already has his heart shattered the day you leave and now he feels another throbbing pain with the fact that you will never be his.

[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]

“Don't marry him” You feel like the time has just stopped right now.

Seeing Mingyu all dressed up in your wedding was definitely on your bingo list— well, last year. but seeing him now? It's just like the burden you had on your shoulder a year ago came back to you.

You used to imagine yourself going through a wedding ceremony with you as the bride and him as the groom.

You're very much confused by his behavior, so you open your mouth, though you didn't say anything because you’re speechless.

Mingyu repeats the words he just said the second time to you, looking at you with hope in his eyes.

“Why?” you asked, you want to add something after that but you halt your actions, waiting for him to answer you.

Mingyu started at the ground for a moment, before looking at you, yet again, “Why? You know why”

You snap, saying no to him only for it to be denied by him, making you say no to him again.

“What?” Then he asked, after pinning him for years, hearing him say that makes your blood boil.

You want to slap Mingyu, but you compose yourself, not wanting to make your special day be ruined by a man that doesn't know and seems like he's not willing to know about your feelings even when you gave him a clear sign.

“No, no Mingyu– You're being mean. stop it.” he can hear the finality of your words, but he didn't want to stop there, “How am i being mean?” there's a stern expression on his face.

“I have been second to Jira my whole life, in everything and that including you. I'm not going to be the person you settle for just because you cannot have her”

“I won't do it, because i've been wasting my entire life loving you but all you see is just Jira, never once i crossed your mind, and you don't have the right to stop me from marrying the man i love” You don't even want to cry anymore, tears for him is already dry long time ago.

Mingyu tries to hold your hand, wanting to confess his feelings, but instead he lets out a question and the second he finishes his sentence he regrets it, “Isn't I the man you love?” his voice is silent, not quite above a whisper.

“Don’t make me laugh Kim Mingyu, you get rid off me as soon as you and Jira reconcile, even both of you were not in a relationship, you run into me when Jira is busy and then the next day you gone for a week and the cycle keep going leaving me stressing over my own feeling”

Before he could say anything, you told him to get out of the room, but you know he's a rock headed person, so you already told the groomsman to wait outside the door after he gets in.

Mingyu heard the door open and he knew it's time for him to get the fuck out and wait for your ceremony, he said something before he leaves, “i love you, i'm sorry” and so he get his last words to you.

For the rest of his life, Mingyu can only hear your voice from a distance, the way Wonwoo kisses you is heart wrenching to the guts of his body.

Now he can only see you again when suddenly bumps into you, or when he goes to your favorite places and on his screen.

And even then, you're not alone, you will be with your new husband that you're marrying today, there's no chance for him to be in your picture.

[musette22]

https://youtu.be/ziVQU7q1GKM i really need to watch when harry met Sally because Seb seems to love it way too much 🤣

Awww this is so cute!! The way he says 'I love that one!' is adorable to me aawwww. It is a great movie, to be fair 🥰 You should watch it, nonnie!

[raccoon-in-the-danger-room]

getting pissed about the love triangle again, so here are my ramblings

I hate it cause everyone's characterization gets fucked over implicitly because each of them turn into the worst versions of themselves

Jean is labeled as the slut. A dull and one-dimensional plot device to Logan's angst, an apathetic cheater to Scott's pain

Scott is labeled as the loser. A butt of the joke to Logan's "victory" (I hate even saying it cause Jean isn't a prize but thats how writers hype it up), a guy who's pathetic enough to still be there whenever Jean wants him again

Logan is labeled as the homewrecker. A man Jean "can fix" because of her psychic abilities, an absolute asshole in Scott's story

Everything about the love triangle infuriates me cause they're all such amazing characters for one thing, not to mention their relationships with one another

Like I can't stress enough how much I LOVE Jean and Scott's love. In most narratives, they were high school sweethearts. They were the first students and a part of the first team. They fell hopelessly and deeply in love with each other because how couldn't they!

They were kids tormented by how freakish they were, and each one of them held onto the other to become their anchor. Echoing sentiments like "no, you're not a freak, you're just YOU and there's nothing wrong with that."

Also, it's so cute in the very original run of xmen Scott didn't ask out Jean for AGES and ppl bullied the absolute fuck outta him for it. Cause Scott's whole thing was that he never thought he was good enough for her. But Jean waited for him. And idk what to say other than that Imma real sucker for friends to lovers and the power of being an absolute simp for your girl

As for their friendships with Logan -- it makes me so sad that it's soooooooooo overshadowed or even nonexistent cause of the love triangle

Cause Jean being there for Logan when he's dealing with his memory loss IS really sweet. If romance is taken out of the equation, I think it's such a powerful testament to their platonic love for each other. Logan allowing Jean into his mind and knowing she won't think less of him is incredibly vulnerable on his part. Jean persisting to help him because she cares about him and emphasizing he IS more man than animal is so deeply kind of her

But they shouldn't be in romantic love with each other because of this. It creates an INSANE "I love my therapist -- I mean girlfriend -- I mean Scott's girlfriend" vibe. Just...... gross dude.

As for Scott and Logan's friendship, they're so funny dude. Just a slapstick good cop, bad cop comedy duo. Eagle scout uncle that gives you genuinely good life advice and that weird uncle who smokes cigs, rides a bike, and tells you how to punch properly so you don't break your hand

They just have SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be good friends and it makes me genuinely sad that all three of them are forced into a love triangle. They're all such interesting ppl that are unique opposing or foil characters to each other

They all deserve better than to be the slut, the homewrecker, and the loser

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Best Friend's Girl.

-> Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Reader ft San

-> Request: No. I may have dreamt this and couldn't stop thinking about.

-> Synopsis: Wooyoung's biggest regret is introducing one of his best friends to the woman he's crazy about.

-> Warnings: love triangle. Jealous Wooyoung. Mr. Steal-Your-Girl Wooyoung. Mentions of San and Reader arguing a lot. mentions of a break up. Just want to put it out there that this in no way reflects Wooyoung and San or their friendship.

-> Word Count: 1,870. this is the longest imagine i've written in forever. please let me know if you would like more this length.

-> Requests: Closed. I will make a post when they are open again.

Wooyoung Masterlist | ATEEZ Masterlist

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead

According to Wooyoung, Y/N was his before anyone else's. He was the first one to meet her and hung out with her before any of his friend group did. He was working his way up to asking her out. But everything he worked towards came crashing down when he introduced her to San. It was purely coincidental.  

He'd been out with San when they crossed paths with Y/N forcing him to introduce the two. It wasn't that he didn't want to introduce them, San being one of his closest friends, he just wanted to keep her to himself until he built up the courage to ask her out on a date. 

But things took a different turn when San and Y/N hit it off immediately. As the two got to know each other, it became obvious San had grown feelings for her and Wooyoung couldn’t blame him. It was hard not to love her.  

Soon enough, San's confidence skyrocketed seemingly overnight and made his intentions clear. It was a difficult situation for him to be in, torn between San and his feelings for Y/N and his own feelings for her. Deciding on wanting his friend to be happy, he took a step back. If Y/N makes San happy he was okay with that. He would eventually move on. 

That ended up being a lie. As San and Y/N's relationship blossomed, Wooyoung couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy every time he saw them together. He couldn't shake the bitterness that was growing inside him and grew to resent them and himself. Until recently. 

San and Y/N have been arguing a lot recently, giving Wooyoung a glimmer of hope. Wooyoung's internal struggle with his own feelings had reached a breaking point.  

Tonight, something pushed him over the edge. He didn’t know if it was the sad and hurt look in her eyes, or the way San had been treating you recently. 

“I’m going to get another drink,” he hears her say and watches as she lets go of San’s hand as she stands up. “Do you want another one?” she asks. He shakes his head. She looks at Yeosang asking if he would like another drink also. He politely declines and she walks into the kitchen. 

Wooyoung frowns when he hears Yeosang ask if everything is okay and he just shrugs it off. He’d already heard from Hongjoong about what happened, his Hyung giving him the heads up.  

San made the decision to call of his and Y/N's date night after accepting Yeosang's invite to the little get together at his and Wooyoung’s apartment without talking to her. According to Hongjoong, he’d interrupted them mid argument on the way up to the apartment.  

Rolling his eyes, Wooyoung makes his way into the kitchen to get himself another drink. He sees Y/N leaning against the counter, holding an unopened drink and staring off into space. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks, getting her attention and he rummages through the fridge for another drink. He closes the door and leans against the counter across from her. “Did you and San argue again?” he asks, even though he already knew the answer. 

"Are we that obvious?" she responds with a sigh, shifting her focus to the bottle she's holding.  

"If Yeosang knew it was date night, he wouldn't have invited you and San," he points out.  

"I know. I'm not upset with Yeosang," she reassures him. "I just wish San and I could communicate better," she admits, frustration evident in her voice. "Lately, it feels like we're always on a different page from each other." 

Wooyoung nods in understanding, taking a sip of his drink before speaking. "Relationships are hard work, Y/N. It's normal to have disagreements and misunderstandings.” 

“I know, I just...” she trails off unable to put what she’s feeling into words. “I don’t know anymore.” 

"If only I had made a move sooner," Wooyoung mumbles under his breath, looking down at the drink in his hand. 

"What was that?" she asks, making sure she heard him right. Her eyes wide with surprise and confusion. 

Wooyoung looks up, meeting her eyes with a hint of regret. "I've always had feelings for you, Y/N. But I never had the courage to tell you. Maybe things would be different now if I had," he admits, feeling a weight lift off his shoulder. “I surely wouldn’t cancel date night without telling you.” 

Her heart skips a beat at his confession, a mix of emotions swirling inside her. If she was going to be honest, she had feelings for Wooyoung when she first met him. But as time went on, she was beginning to feel like all they would be is friends. And then she met San, who wasted no time in making his feelings known. He had managed to charm her into a date and one date turned into more and a month later they made it official.  

"Wooyoung, I had no idea..." She says as guilt fills hers. It seems her and San weren’t the only ones with communication issues.  

He gives her a small, sad smile. "It's okay. I just wanted you and San to be happy." 

"But your right, maybe things would be different if I had known back then," she murmurs, her mind racing with what-ifs as those past feelings resurface. She shakes her head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes and places her still unopened drink on the counter before hastily leaving the kitchen. 

Wooyoung watches her leave, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within him. He had finally confessed his feelings, but it doesn’t make him feel any better.  

Leaving the kitchen, he walks back into the sitting area, noticing San and Y/N are no longer there and Yeosang as well as Hongjoong are looking a mixture of confused and concerned.  

“What happened?” Wooyoung asks, even though he can make a guess that it had something to do with his little confession. 

“I don’t know,” Yeosang says as Hongjoong shrugs.  

The next day Wooyoung arrives at the company building, exhausted from the lack of sleep he got last night. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he confessed his feelings to Y/N. Although he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders, the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't shake off the guilt of potentially ruining his best friend's relationship. He knew he had crossed a line in the heat of the moment, making him wish he had kept his mouth shut. 

As he enters the dance practice room, he sees San sitting with Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yunho. Keeping his head down, he drops his bag next to the others.  

Before he can take another step, San confronts him, his fists clenched by his sides, “What were you hoping to accomplish, telling her how you feel?”   

Wooyoung's heart sinks as he realizes that San knows about his confession. His piercing gaze leaves Wooyoung feeling exposed and vulnerable as the younger of the two stammers trying to think of something to say. "I... I didn't... I don't..."  

"Why didn't you tell me?" San asks, his expression softening slightly, but there is still a hint of hurt in his eyes. "You should have told me, Wooyoung. I would have backed off if you told me how you felt about her."  

"I... You both seemed happy," Wooyoung says.   

San sighs. "I think I always had a feeling there may have been something more between the two of you. She admitted that she felt something for you back then."  

"But she chose you in the end," Wooyoung says, feeling a pang of sadness.   

"No, she didn't." San admits causing Wooyoung to look at him shocked. "We broke up. She's confused and to be honest, so am I."  

"I'm sorry," Wooyoung apologizes, that guilt from earlier seeping back in. "That wasn't my intention."  

"I know," he nods in understanding.  

"I didn't want to come between you two," Wooyoung says, his voice barely above a whisper.   

San reaches out and places a hand on Wooyoung's shoulder. "I know and I appreciate that. But I think it's time for us to be honest with each other," he says. Wooyoung nods agreeing with him. 

“You two can talk more later, we need to start practicing,” Hongjoong interrupts them as the others arrive. 

Though feeling a little awkward both Wooyoung and San push it aside and focus on the choreography they’ve been learning for their next song. 

A Month Later: 

A month. That's how long Y/N had been out of town. It's how long it's been since she's seen and spoken to Wooyoung. After San ended things with her, she left to clear her head and figure out her thoughts and feelings. She only returned yesterday and the first thing she did was stop by San's apartment to talk to him.  

Now Y/N stands outside Wooyoung's apartment, debating with herself if she should knock or walk away. Fate quickly intervened when the door swings open, revealing Wooyoung. Her heart races as she takes in Wooyoung's familiar face, feeling a rush of emotions flood back to her. 

"You're back," he says surprised to see her.   

She nods. "I would have come sooner but I wanted to talk to San before I came here." 

"Do you want to come in?" he asks, stepping aside to let her in. She hesitates for a moment before nodding and stepping inside.  

She hesitates for a moment before nodding and stepping inside. Once inside the apartment, memories her and Wooyoung's conversation comes flooding back to her.  

"Did you and San work things out?" Wooyoung asks, interrupting her reminiscing about the night that changed everything. She can hear the hesitation in his voice. 

"We did," she nods. “We both agreed that we would be better as friends.” 

"I'm glad to hear that,” he says and he meant it.  

After having a heart-to-heart talk with San, him and Wooyoung both came to the realisation that they both love Y/N but in different ways. Wooyoung's feelings for her went much deeper than San's did. And even though he enjoyed his time with Y/N, San knows that him and Y/N are better as friends and if her and Wooyoung are meant to be, he wasn't going to stand in the way of it. San had even told Y/N that when he and Y/N had their talk.  

After everything was sorted all three of them felt that they could close that chapter and move on to a new one where San had moved on with someone that he had recently met while Wooyoung gets to finally be with the woman he loves. 

“I missed you,” she admits to Wooyoung.   

"I missed you too," he admits, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

"Things are different now," she mentions as they draw closer to each other. 

 Wooyoung nods, his eyes filled with understanding. "They are." 

"I love you," she says, her heart racing, unsure if he still feels the same. "I'm sorry I-" 

"I love you too," he interrupts her pulling her into his arms and kissing her, reassuring her that his feelings for her hadn’t changed at all. 

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[nephalem-da]

HELLOOOOOOOOOO

I COME WITH A REQUEST.

Can you please write an Bill Cipher x GN! reader, where reader is just insanely tired of his antics and his behaviour and just lashes out at him? (love me some angst, especially for triangle..)

Like, they come home and he's just trashed their house or messes with personal/memorable stuff or brings weird objects in the house to torture them? (maybe he makes bugs randomly appear in rooms for no good reason or he sets the kitchen table on fire and makes all the water disappear) and they are just fed up.

So they come home one day and there he is again, as usual. And obviously, it's Bill Cipher (their partner), so he's going to act like it's completely normal or even appropriate so he just doesn't care about anything, but on this day they've had enough. So they start yelling and screaming out of frustration, yelling at him at how 'annoying' and 'horrific' he is and how 'he only has an existence in being an asshole' and just making comments about how tired they are of him..

And he just sits back, shocked. He's not really one to care or even be shocked at something, (especially something along these lines) so to see them just cry out of frustration and get so angry because of him? Oh he'd fucking freak out. Like, he's just gone pale, blank, he's silent while they're just pouring their soul out the open wound where their heart should've rested.

After all the screaming/yelling/crying, they throw their things to the floor (maybe some glasses for more angsty stuff, hehe) they storm to their room and lock their door, and Bill's just... motionless. He takes a moment to think over how he's acted and how they've been visibly more angry/depressed over the past couple weeks (especially around him) and he just breaks down.

Cue to him, crying (I don't even know if he can, please forgive me, but I need to make him sob) and he's frantically banging at the door and crying while mumbling something that sounds like apologies(??) and trying to get in.

After a few minutes of their silence from the other side, he just teleports into their room and tries to reconcile with them but after a few nudges and pleads, they stand up and scream at him, tears running down their face as they talk about how badly he's been treating them and so on, (he doesn't fail to notice their shaking hands, the heavy choked breaths when they try to calm themselves to keep talking, their posture and how their muscles ached as they moved) and he just has to sit there and listen while he breaks down at the sight.

(OH- AND ALSO AT THE END THEY GO BACK TO BEING HAPPY AND WORK THINGS OUT, ALBEIT A BIT SLOWER ON READERS SIDE BUT IT ALL WORKS OUT, AND YAY!! HAPPY TIMES AT THE ENDD :3)

I'm so sorry if this is a huge burden or anything but I'm obsessed with how you write and I'm a big fan,, keep doing what you do!! I will be here to read your works, :D HAVE A LOVELY DAYYYYYY

Breaking Point

(Bill Cipher x GN!Reader)

Thank you so much for the kind words!! (o_ _)ﾉ彡☆ I might've teared up a little while writing this hehe

This fic is a little lengthy than the others how I usually write. But I want ya'll to feel the raw emotion of pure anger and sadness from the reader, and the panic from Bill. ヾ( ￣O￣)ツ

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Drama

Warning: Emotional Outbursts, Depiction of Verbal Conflict, Reader experiencing high levels of frustration and stress, Brief mention of destruction (fire, water disappearing, bugs appearing), Bill Cipher struggling with remorse and regret, Themes of toxic behavior in a relationship.

Summary: After reaching your limit with Bill Cipher's chaotic behavior, you snap and confront him, leaving Bill stunned and remorseful. Now, both of you must navigate through an emotional journey of healing and reconciliation.

The door creaked as you stepped into the house, the familiar weight of exhaustion pressing against your bones. Work had drained you, life had drained you, and now all you wanted was to come home to some peace. But of course, there was no peace where Bill Cipher was concerned.

Your nostrils flared as the scent of smoke hit you before anything else. The kitchen table was scorched, a blackened mess, and small embers still smoldered in the corners. Water pooled around your feet from where the sink should’ve been, now bone-dry despite the mess. Your gaze darted across the room, scanning for more disasters, and—unsurprisingly—you spotted bugs skittering across the walls and floors. Spiders, centipedes, beetles. All manner of crawling things making themselves at home in what was once your sanctuary.

And then there he was.

Bill Cipher. Floating lazily above the chaos with a smug grin plastered across his face, looking so utterly proud of his handiwork. His golden glow practically mocked you, making everything feel more twisted than it already was. You wanted to cry, scream—something—but the exhaustion in your limbs wouldn’t even let you feel anything. Not yet.

“Heya, kiddo! You’re back earlier than I thought! Guess you’re lucky—you get to witness all the ‘improvements’ I made to the place in real-time!” His voice was sing-songy, obnoxious, as if setting your house on fire and filling it with bugs was some sort of quirky joke.

You dropped your bag to the floor with a heavy thud. “Improvements?” you asked, your voice hollow. “You set the kitchen on fire.”

He spun in a lazy circle. “Oh, that? Pfft, it’ll go out eventually! You know, fire’s just nature’s way of cleaning up! No big deal, kid. You humans get so worked up about the little things.”

“Little things?” Your voice trembled as you repeated his words. “My house is a wreck, Bill.”

His eye rolled dramatically. “It’s just a house. You live here, what? 80, maybe 90 years? Tops? Come on, I’ve seen the multiverse—this is nothing! A little fire, a little infestation… it’s all temporary!” He waved his hand, making a centipede crawl up the wall behind him like it was nothing. Like you should just accept this madness.

Something inside you snapped.

Maybe it was the months of putting up with his antics, the countless moments of chaos that you tried to brush aside because, well, it was Bill. Maybe it was the sleepless nights, the days where he would whisk you into the Mindscape without warning, messing with your head until you couldn’t tell if you were dreaming or awake. Or maybe it was just this day—this awful, grueling day, where you came home hoping for some semblance of normalcy only to find more destruction.

Whatever it was, you’d hit your breaking point.

“No,” you said, your voice starting soft but trembling with barely-contained fury. “It’s not nothing, Bill. It’s not just a little fire, or a few bugs, or some weird object you brought into my life to mess with me.”

Bill raised an eyebrow. “Uh, okay? You’re acting like this is a big deal—”

“Because it is a big deal!” The words exploded from you, your voice rising into a full-on scream. “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!”

Your voice echoed off the walls, loud enough to make Bill pause in mid-air. His expression shifted, his eye narrowing in what looked like confusion. “Whoa, calm down there, kid. No need to get all dramatic—”

“Dramatic?” You felt the surge of frustration and exhaustion hit you all at once. “You think I’m being dramatic? You set the kitchen on fire, Bill! You fill the house with bugs, you mess with my things, you bring chaos into every single moment of my life like it’s a joke, and you think I’m being dramatic?!”

He floated closer, but you shoved past him, your heart hammering in your chest. “I’m tired, Bill! I am so tired of you making my life hell! You don’t care about me—you never have! You only care about yourself, about causing chaos, about proving how powerful you are while you tear my life apart!”

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Bill said, his voice wavering slightly. But you weren’t stopping. Not now. Not when everything you’d held back for weeks, months, was finally coming out.

“You’re not fair!” you yelled, your voice cracking. “I’m so sick of cleaning up after you, of pretending that it’s okay for you to ruin everything I care about! You think it’s funny to mess with me, to make my life miserable? It’s not! It’s—”

Your voice caught in your throat as the sobs you’d been holding in for too long finally broke free. “It’s not fair, Bill. It’s just… not fair.”

For the first time since you’d known him, Bill Cipher was silent.

He just hovered there, his triangular form still, his single eye wide and blinking rapidly as if he couldn’t quite process what was happening. He’d seen you angry before, annoyed even—but this? This was different. This was raw. You were breaking down right in front of him, and he didn’t know what to do.

You wiped at your eyes, your breath coming in ragged, shaky bursts as the last of your strength crumbled beneath the weight of everything. You looked at him, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I can’t keep doing this.”

Then, with a trembling hand, you threw your things to the floor—your bag, your keys, the glasses you’d been holding. The sound of shattering glass echoed through the room, but you didn’t even care. You turned away from him, storming to your bedroom and slamming the door shut behind you. The lock clicked into place, sealing you in the only place left where you could hide from him.

For a moment, there was silence.

But then came the knock. Soft at first, barely audible. Then louder. “Hey uh... Y/N?” His voice was shaky, unsure, and for the first time since you’d met him, you could hear something like fear in it. “Come on, open the door…”

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t.

“I… I didn’t mean for it to get this bad. I was just… I thought we were having fun? You know, me messing around a little… spicing things up!” His voice wavered again, growing more frantic. “Just… open the door. Please?”

Silence.

“I’m sorry, okay?” His voice cracked. “I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t… I didn’t realize…”

Still, you didn’t move. Your body felt heavy, drained. You didn’t have the energy to answer him, not after everything that had just happened. The silence from your side must have been too much for him, because after a few moments, you heard that familiar soft pop and felt the air shift.

Bill teleported into your room, appearing right beside you.

He hovered there for a moment, unsure of himself, his usual arrogance nowhere to be seen. “Y/N…” His voice was softer now, almost tentative. He reached out a hand toward you, but you pulled away, still too raw, too hurt.

“I don’t want to hear it,” you said, your voice low and thick with emotion. “I’m tired, Bill. I’m tired of you, of this, of everything. You don’t care about me. You only care about yourself.”

He flinched, his entire form flickering as if your words had struck him physically. “That’s not true,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I do care. I just… I don’t know how to stop. This is who I am.”

You stood up, your body shaking as the anger and frustration surged through you once again. “No, Bill. This is who you choose to be. You choose to hurt me. You choose to make me miserable, and I can’t take it anymore.” Tears welled up in your eyes again, blurring your vision. “I can’t keep being the person who puts up with this.”

His eye widened, and for the first time, you saw genuine fear there. “I can change,” he said quickly, desperately. “I can stop, I swear! No more fires, no more bugs, no more chaos! Just… don’t leave me.”

You turned to face him fully, tears streaming down your cheeks. “Why should I believe you?”

He blinked, his form trembling. “Because…” His voice cracked again, and for a moment, he was silent. Then, he dropped lower, sinking to the floor as if bowing before you. “Because I love you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. The words hung in the air between you, heavy and fragile.

Bill Cipher, the embodiment of chaos, destruction, and madness… was on the floor, broken and pleading.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he whispered, his voice raw. “I thought I was just… being me. But I see it now. I see what I’ve done to you.” His eye glistened with something you’d never seen before—tears. Real, honest tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Your heart clenched at the sight of him—Bill Cipher, the all-powerful, indestructible entity you’d grown so used to, now reduced to this broken, fragile figure. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe that he could change, that this was the turning point. But you couldn’t deny the gnawing ache in your chest, the voice in the back of your mind reminding you of all the chaos, all the hurt.

“I don’t know if I can trust you,” you said, your voice shaking. “You’ve said things like this before, Bill. You’ve promised to dial it back, to stop messing with me, but you never do. You always go back to your old ways, and I—”

Your voice cracked, the weight of everything too much to bear. “I can’t keep going through this. It hurts too much.”

Bill flinched again, his whole form flickering as if he might disappear at any moment. “I know,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I know I’ve messed up—over and over again. I’ve pushed you too far. I’ve made you cry, made you scream, and I never thought about how it was affecting you.” He paused, his eye locking onto yours, his voice trembling with emotion. “I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. I thought… I thought we were having fun. But I see now that I was wrong.”

You swallowed hard, your throat tight with emotion. His words felt sincere, but the pain was still fresh. “You always think it’s fun,” you said quietly. “But it’s not fun for me. I’ve been hurting for so long, Bill. Every day, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, waiting for the next disaster. I can’t live like that.”

Bill floated closer to you, his glow dimming. “I don’t want you to live like that anymore,” he said softly. “I don’t want to be the reason you’re miserable. I’ll change, Y/N. I’ll stop. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.” His voice cracked again, and he hovered just inches from you, his single eye glistening with tears. “Please, don’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You closed your eyes, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. You wanted to believe him, to hold onto the hope that he could really change. But you were scared. Scared that this was just another empty promise, another cycle of chaos waiting to happen.

“I need time,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I need time to think. To figure out if I can keep doing this.”

Bill’s form flickered again, his eye wide with panic. “Time? But… what if you decide you don’t want me anymore?”

Your chest tightened at the raw fear in his voice. You’d never seen him like this—vulnerable, desperate, clinging to you like you were his only lifeline. “I don’t know, Bill,” you said softly. “I don’t know what I’ll decide. But I can’t just forgive everything right now. I need space.”

Bill stared at you for a long moment, his eye searching yours, before he slowly nodded. “Okay,” he said, his voice small. “Okay. I’ll give you space. Just… please, don’t shut me out completely. Let me prove that I can be better.”

You took a shaky breath and nodded. “I won’t shut you out. But I need you to respect what I’m asking for. No more chaos. No more tricks. No more pushing me to my limit.”

He blinked, his form flickering once more as he processed your words. Then, with a small, sad smile, he nodded. “You’ve got it, kid. No more tricks. No more chaos. I’ll… I’ll be good.” He tried to sound upbeat, but the strain in his voice was evident.

You watched as he floated back a bit, his usual cocky posture gone. He looked small, almost lost, and it tugged at something deep inside you. Despite everything, despite all the pain he’d caused, you couldn’t help but feel for him.

“Bill…” you began, your voice softening. He looked up at you, hope flickering in his eye. “I do love you,” you admitted, your voice wavering. “But this… this isn’t healthy. We both need to work on this. If you really care about me, you’ll prove it. Not with words, but with actions.”

He floated closer again, his eye wide and solemn. “I will, Y/N. I swear. I’ll show you that I’m serious. I won’t mess this up again.”

You nodded, feeling a small weight lift from your chest. “Okay.”

There was a long, heavy silence between the two of you, the air thick with tension and the lingering emotions of the night. But for the first time in a long while, there was also something else—a sliver of hope. It was fragile, but it was there.

Bill hovered in place for a few more moments before he slowly floated toward the door. He paused just before leaving, turning back to you with a soft, almost shy smile. “I’ll let you rest. But… I’ll be around. If you need me.”

You nodded again, and with that, he disappeared with a soft pop, leaving you alone in the quiet of your room.

You exhaled deeply, your body sagging with the weight of the night’s emotions. It wasn’t over—not by a long shot—but there was a chance. A chance that things could get better, that Bill could change. It would take time, and you’d need to see real progress, but for the first time, you felt like he truly understood the gravity of his actions.

It would take work. It would take patience. But maybe, just maybe, things could heal.

The days passed slowly after that. Bill kept his distance, honoring your request for space. You still saw him, floating around the house or popping in to check on you, but he was different now. Calmer. Quieter. He didn’t wreak havoc or bring chaos into your life anymore. Instead, he seemed to go out of his way to make things easier for you.

He fixed the scorched kitchen, repaired the broken table, and even got rid of the bugs without so much as a snarky comment. It was strange at first—seeing him so subdued—but it also gave you hope.

You weren’t ready to forgive him completely, not yet. But you were willing to give him a chance.

One night, as you sat in the living room, you heard the familiar pop of Bill teleporting in. You looked up to see him hovering nearby, holding something in his hands—or rather, what looked like a bouquet of floating, glowing flowers. They shimmered in the dim light, casting soft shadows on the walls.

“I, uh, brought these for you,” he said awkwardly, floating closer. “I know they’re not your typical flowers, but I thought… you might like them.”

You stared at the glowing bouquet for a moment before a small smile tugged at your lips. “Thanks, Bill,” you said softly, accepting the flowers.

He smiled back, that familiar spark of mischief in his eye, but this time it wasn’t overwhelming. It wasn’t destructive. It was… soft.

And as you looked at him, at the effort he was putting in, you felt the tiniest flicker of hope.

Maybe, just maybe, things would work out.

I love me some vulnerable Bill hehe (￣ε￣＠) Anyways! Hope you guys enjoyed it! ^^

[bytedykes]

one thing i noticed (and loved!!!!) in nimona is the different eye-shine shapes. specifically the way they changed as the story progressed, specifically focusing on ballister and ambrosius

[ID: screenshots of Ambrosius and Ballister speaking. They both have a similarly shaped, rhomboid, square diamond eye shine. /end ID]

in this first scene their eyeshines are a very similar square diamond shape. they still share it right after the part where ambrosius cuts ballister's arm off

[ID: screenshots of the two of them looking at each other, both still with a matching eyeshine shape. /end ID]

however immediately after, when ballister falls through the hole in the platform we get a brief shot of his face:

[ID: slightly blurry closeup of Ballister's face. His eye shines now seem more square. /end ID]

later we see ballister creating his new arm, and immediately after when nimona knocks on the door we see his eyes again, and the shines are completely square. not really any ambiguity to it, the tilt of them is entirely gone

[ID: closeup of Ballister's face, the eyeshines now square with the flat edge on the bottom. /end ID]

ballister isnt super consistent with this, but from here on his eyeshines remain mostly square. there are a few moments when they tilt again to resemble how they were in the first scene, eg. when he's telling nimona he's not a villain, and when she reminds him that ambrosius cut off his arm and he tells her its complicated, as well as more later that i wont get into now

[ID: screenshots of the above mentioned scenes, in both Ballister's eyeshines have a more oblong rhomboid vertically-oriented shape. /end ID]

BUT!!! a bit later, when he and nimona bump into ambrosius as they're breaking out of the castle,

[ID: screenshots of Ambrosius and Ballister looking at each other, both again with diamond shaped eyeshines. /end ID]

wow look at that they match again! ballister's are a bit more square and ambrosius's are more elongated, but again they have a very similar shape! however immediately after...

[ID: closeups of Ballister's face. In the first his eyeshines are square, in the second they are more diamond shaped. /end ID]

the first screenshot here is when he says "did you see the way he looked at me?" to nimona. the second is right after he says "he really thinks I killed the queen." by this point you probably can tell where i'm going with this post

also this is the part where i just now noticed nimona's upper earring on her left ear is a star hoop :) very neat

nimona snaps ballister out of his daze (square again), makes him promise he wont freak out (still square) and then he rides off on rhino-nimona (square). when he sees and almost runs over ambrosius in the hallway, the brief seconds he's looking at him, his eyeshines tilt again into a diamond. no screenshot of this one because it's hard to get the timing right on motion shots

when ballister wakes up back at the lair they're square again

[ID: screenshot of Bal in the lair, his eyeshines square. /end ID]

when he's looking at the photo wall (at ambrosius's photo specifically) i expected them to become diamonds again, but here they stay square! i am quickly realizing this post is mostly an excuse to stare closely at ballister's big baby seal eyes

[ID: screenshot of Ambrosius's photo, where his eyeshines are upright triangles. /end ID]

in the photo ambrosius's eyeshines are triangles which isn't a shape we've seen on him before. i dont think this really means anything though its just neat

skipping to the part where ambrosius says he'll be the one to hunt down ballister, his eyeshines are triangular here too, in person this time

[ID: closeup of Ambrosius's face. His eyeshines are triangular. /end ID]

during his declaration to "find ballister, and bring him to me" however his eyeshines are briefly diamond shaped again

[ID: Ambrosius looking down in sadness or resignation, with diamond eyeshines. /end ID]

back to bal. in the subway, both nimona's version of ballister and the real ballister have square eyeshines.

[ID: Nimona-as-Ballister with a pathetic expression, and the real Ballister with a disapproving one. Both have square eyeshines. /end ID]

in the next scene where the knights are looking at the subway footage, ambrosius's eyeshine shape has changed again:

[ID: closeups of Ambrosius's face. He has oblong reverse triangle eyeshines. /end ID]

they are now long triangles. my eyesight isnt awesome so the first time i watched this part i thought they were hearts :) but theyre triangles

i dont have it in me to rewatch the entire movie for this post so skipping to way later when ballister is trying to convince ambrosius the director is the one behind the queen's murder. the lines said are important here too

[ID: Ambrosius's face right before Ballister pulls out the phone with the video proof. Second image is Ballister's face after the phone is shot from his hand. Ambrosius has diamond eyeshines and Bal has square ones. /end ID]

the line bal is saying in that screenshot is "it doesn't matter. you shouldn't need proof. you know i'm not a murderer." then:

[ID: Ambrosius is pointing a sword at Ballister. Ballister's eyeshines are square, Ambrosius's are hard to see but resemble diamonds. /end ID]

AND THEN:

[ID: Ambrosius looking up at Nimona when she shoots into the air. His eyeshines are triangles. /end ID]

during their nacho meetup at the [checks notes] tavern? bar? nacho place? whatever. their eyeshines are square and triangle respectively

[ID: three consecutive shots of their conversation. Ballister has square eyeshines; then Ambrosius has triangular eyeshines; the last picture is of Ambrosius putting his hand over Ballister's prosthetic one. /end ID]

their shapes remain this way for a while until a key moment where ballister looks at nimona's rampage and realizes he fucked up BAD

[ID: closeup of Ballister's face, with distinctly diamond eyeshines. Behind him a fire rages. /end ID]

it's not clear in the screenshot but the fire in the background is ALSO diamond shaped which probably means nothing but again, is pretty neat

and then yeah basically from there their eyeshines stay the same shape to the end of the movie including the epilogue. i cant add any more images to this post though so i will have to stop here!!! just take my word for it. their (i say their but i really mean ballister's, because ambrosius doesn't get any more good eye shots after the beginning of the epilogue) stay their respective shape until the very end

"wow, nik, this post was beyond pointless" you might be thinking and yeah maybe!!! this may be all coincidence and i may be looking for things that are not even remotely there!!! but guess what i sat here for over an hour taking screenshots and putting this post together so by god i WILL see it to its end

my idea is that the changing eyeshine shapes represent their paths splitting and then coming back together again. at the beginning they have the same eyeshine shape; they're together, they understand each other, they think the same way. (this is a good time for me to note that the director's eyeshine shape is also a vertically oriented rhombus.)

then the betrayal happens. ballister kills the queen, ambrosius cuts of ballister's arm. they still have the same eyeshine shape here; but then ballister falls and ambrosius doesn't fall with him. this is where they separate - this is the betrayal

after making himself a prosthetic ballister's eyeshines are a different shape, more clearly now. he is apart from ambrosius, they're no longer a unit. however his eyeshines still appear as diamonds occasionally, namely in moments where he's with or thinking about ambrosius (or the institute, im mainly thinking of the "im not a villain" line when he's thinking i'm still a knight, i'm still good)

ambrosius's eyeshines are still the same diamond-like shape. when he and ballister see each other again they briefly share a shape again. it's not as similar anymore, and they're not the same as they were. there's still this rift of betrayal between them. but in that moment they're having, well, a moment

in the closet when he's thinking of ambrosius's betrayal (did you see the way he looked at me?) his eyeshines change between square and diamond

then cut to ambrosius, who's eyeshines are also a different shape now: when he's formalizing his betrayal to he and ballister's relationship, officially declaring that he will be the one to hunt him down. but there's a moment where his armor is being put on where he looks down with guilt and diamond shaped eyeshines

i dont even want to talk about the subway footage part because i still keep mistaking the long triangles for hearts which is killing me. killing me DEAD. if his eyeshines were really hearts when he was saying things like "something doesn't feel right, he hates freestyle jazz" i think i'd just explode or something. moving on

during the confrontation at the institute, before ballister tries to pull out the phone and is telling ambrosius he has proof, ambrosius's eyeshines are diamonds! just like in the beginning! i think here it's more representative of how he wants to believe ballister, despite the director whispering in his ear not to, how he badly wants for all of this to be a misunderstanding and for proof that ballister didn't betray the institute, didn't betray him. he doesn't want to lose his best friend (and more)

but ballister's eyeshines are square here- like he says a few seconds later, "you shouldn't need proof." he's being betrayed again, ambrosius doesn't believe in him after all. but even when pointing a sword at ballister he looks at him with diamond eyeshines. when nimona begins doing her thing his eyeshines are triangles again, like he and ballister are fully diverging paths again

you get the idea. their eyeshines are representing of their emotions about, and relationship with each other. so then why don't they go back to the diamond shape at the end of the movie? why are their eyeshines different even when it's clear that they've made up, they're happy now, things are different?

well i DO have an explanation for this. things are different now! they're no longer under the thumb of the institute (is this a good time to mention again that the director's eyeshines are also diamonds), a section of the wall is down, the kingdom is different! it's changing!

and so have they! the way i'm choosing to read into this, is that they're not the same people as they were at the beginning of the movie. they're not both brainwashed into thinking the same way, having the same ideology where cutting off your boyfriend's arm instead of disarming him isn't only justifiable, it's what's expected. now they're their own people, who aren't under constant pressure of a legacy or an institute. they've grown! and now it's okay that they don't think the exact same, because they love each other, and are now capable of loving each other like this

tldr this movie is great i love it here :)

obviously this might all just be a coincidence and im just overthinking it lol but whatever i spent this long reading into it i might as well hit post

edit: people have mentioned that ND retweeted stuff relating to this so it IS intentional! yayy i love being right

also for the love of god do not add undescribed images to this post. it takes like two seconds to describe a screenshot just use the same formula ive used for every single image here. please i can't keep doing this

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

We are heading into a bit of a quieter period for QL corner, with two shows ending now and another next week. At least we still have a true banger airing to sustain us through the drought. Smells Like Green Spirit is also now airing in Japan but has not yet been picked up for international distribution (pray for it to get to us soon). These shows are available for weekly streaming on Gaga unless otherwise noted.

Happy of the End

CWs: Blood and gore, child abandonment, child molestation, childhood sexual slavery, death, family rejection, heavy scarring, human trafficking, rape, sexual coercion and exploitation, suicidal ideation, suicide mention

This week was relatively lighter compared to last week's very rough episodes, but still so laced with sadness even in its happy moments. Haoren mourned his mother, and finally admitted to himself, and to Chihiro, that she was never protecting him. The show dug deeper into how this bond between them is giving them both a reason to shake off their apathy about survival, though that is definitely touch and go for both of them. The way Haoren experienced a few moments of happiness and immediately jumped to the conclusion that he would like to die now because he'll never top this feeling was telling, as was Chihiro casually laying down in the street and not moving until Haoren dragged him away. They don't have any real hope for a better life, but they each seem more invested in the other's survival than their own, and that is giving them something to cling to. It was nice to see them have some moments of trust and connection between them, and for Haoren to finally feel safe enough to strip himself bare, physically and emotionally. I'm bracing for a rough final week, with Haoren's former enslaver coming after Chihiro in a bid to destroy the source of Haoren's new happiness. I don't really know what to hope for in terms of an ending for these characters; I just hope the show can leave us with the sense that their relationship mattered and gave them something they can each hold onto.

Love is Like a Poison

This episode had me screaming with laughter and delight. Haruto can read his Ryo-kun like a book, and Shiba can't seem to figure out which way is up. I don't even want to describe all the hilarious gags and sexy tension and extremely unsubtle metaphors in this episode; I don't want to ruin it for anyone. Go watch!

Chaser Game W 2

Of all the great JQL we've gotten in the last year, why this one got picked up for a second season I could not tell you. I was less than impressed with season 1, and I don't have high hopes this next go round will be any better. Especially after watching the first ep of this new season, in which they unceremoniously undid the ending of the last in a laughably silly way only to introduce a new, more annoying conflict. They could have made something of a story about Fuyu trying to work out a way to manage her family life to be with Itsuki, but they'd rather hand wave that away via gay penguins in favor of a new love triangle. Whatever, show. Here we go again, I guess! I’ll be watching this one mostly to support the ratings.

Tagging @bengiyo to do our last anime update for the next little while, as Twilight Out of Focus has officially ended its run and there is no new animated ql on the horizon.

[absolutebl]

Okay, FINE, the shows you should watch for BL's QUEER AF roots

You ready to go hunting?

Many of these are difficult to find. Also many of the images of them and their posters have been block/banned by tumblr, so, no screen grabs for you! (Good times.)

I don't necessarily *like* any of these, but if you are queer and in this fandom and need to dialogue around BL's queerness - these are going to provide a foundation for you. They are important for various industry, reputation, directorial, and cultural reasons. As seeds often are.

Trigger warnings throughout.

The true beginnings:

Boys Love, Japan's 2006 movie is a REALLY rough start featuring a journalist + hot model = murder gay, mild necrophilia, cheating, abuse, rape, and suicide for love. Start as you mean to go on, why don't you, Japan? Is it queer... maybe? Is it BL... honey, I am very sorry to inform you, this started BL.

Note: Yoshikazu Kotani is famous in og BL circles since he acted in 3 early BLs, both Boys Loves and then Same Difference. Also he v tall and hawt.

Eternal Summer, Taiwan 2006 - unlike Japan, Taiwan did NOT start how it would, eventually, go on. But what a messy way to start. A high school story of 3 besties in a love triangle, self discovery, and sexual awakening that fucks it all up.

No Regret, Korea 2006, is a very unhinged queer catastrophe piece about a lost gay man who ends up a host and then almost a murderer because of both his job and his identity.

Note: This is the directorial feature film debut of Lee-Song Hee-il Korea's (so far as I know) first openly gay director who specialized (to this day) in queer content.

The Love of Siam, Thailand 2007, this was Thailand's queer awakening, sure they would backpedal for YEARS after, but in 2022 they began to remember what this movie was (and did) and overtly referenced this quiet little masterpiece. This movie is sad but stunning in that way that the best queer works from Thailand can be (like Present Perfect or ITSAY.) It has Thailand's quintessential softness around theme and character, which you'll understand perfectly when highlighted against the backdrop of the early 2000s works from Japan, Korea, and Taiwan. Thailand will never lose this soft style and it's one of the most attractive qualities of Thai BL: it's never very harsh with us or its characters. This movie very easily COULD have been quite harsh indeed.

I thought long and hard about including Rice Rhapsody AKA Hainan Chicken Rice (Hainan ji fan) on this list and finally decided it doesn't really qualify. Still let me mention Hong Kong's 2005 movie. It is amazing, fascinating, and very rough going for an ostensible comedy. It wasn't the actual beginning because few saw it and Hong Kong never really picked up or ran with BL let alone QL, but it was hella queer. It's also hella homophobic.

Just Friends? (2009 Korea) - this is Korea's first (kinda) upbeat version of a BL featuring already established boyfriends, one of whom is on military leave, trying to decide on coming out, family life, and the future. All of these are themes Korea will pretty much never tackle again, retreating as they would to their bubble. But what a fun little offering this little show was and is to this day. You should watch it.

Like Love 1 AKA I Love You As A Man: Part 1 - China's 2014 offering is actually pretty classic early form live action yaoi with things like whipping boy, a university setting, rich/poor jock/nerd pairing, hard grumpy/sunshine and a very odd title. It's pre-censorship with an HEA, also explicit, yeah China once did that. This is a lot less queer that it is classic BL and classic Chinese romance, neither of which have any kind of connection to reality. But hey, that's what I'm here for. But it's important to note the drifting away from queerness beginning to occur.

Love Sick - Thailand's 2014 "boys in blues shorts" high school set soapy (in all ways) offering is widely considered the true beginning of Thai BL and by default, eventually, BL as we know it today. (As the biggest producer they somewhat dictate taste and trends in the genre.) This is one of those BLs that owes almost nothing to yaoi, although it started a number of tropes that are now endemic to Thai BL. What it is, instead, is a well scripted story of bisexual self-discovery and the inherent chaos of loving someone of the same gender for the first time, all wrapped up in hormones, existing relationships, and communication issues. It is high school queer angst at its messiest. Nothing is going to be easy for these boys because queer isn’t easy but also because life isn’t easy… welcome to adulthood sweethearts. Is is overtly queer? For 2014 Thailand? Sure is.

Love Next Door 2 a movie from 2014 and one of Thailand’s early very high heat pieces, it’s odd, but sexy I guess? Some unexpectedly decent queer rep including femme characters getting screen time + HEAs. (Part one from 2013 has the same high heat content and features the same lead character (and actor) discovering he is gay with the sex worker next door, but isn't as good nor is it relevant to this installment.)

A few other unknowns, for the queer babies

Wait For Me at Udagawachou AKA Udagawachou de Matteteyo - from Japan in 2015, this is a story about two boys in high school one of whom is a repressed outsider and the other who has a terrible secret (body dysmorphia & cross dressing). When the first boy discovers what's up with the second one, his reaction is very much fetishization. "Oh Japan must you?" kinda started for me with this show. But in this case, Japan, weirdly MUST. This is the ONLY show laboring under (and testing) a pointedly straight lens (or is it?) and identity examination (yes but which boys' identity? that's the question) that I've EVER seen even edge into the BL genre. It is crazy queer, even as it mostly focuses on the fetishization of identity from an outsider's perspective. I WISH more people in fandom would watch it so I could at least talk to someone about it.

The Lover (BL Cut) Korea's 2015 series had multiple couples in an apartment complex, one pair of whom is a BL romance between a Korean man and a visiting Japanese tourist (played by a Kpop idol). It's comedic, slapstick sexy only (no kissing), but basically starts up Korea's bubble and use of idols in BL. It's kinda fascinating to watch them dodge around and still represent gayness in what (is sadly destined to become) a very Chinese way, but which Korea in pursuit of Hallyu and market share would morph into the bubble.

Mr. X and I from China in 2015 is a compilation piece and, I think, the first of this kind of multiple narrative shorter grab bags AKA "Sampler Pack BL." Two of the stories are very queerly sad, but the third is CLASSIC BL of the kind that would become China's best (and last) true BL, Addicted.

Sweet Boy, (Thai 2016) Chimon's first gay role and it is quite sad, oddly sexy, and similar to Dew the movie or My Bromance (just so you know what you are in for) but the acting is on point. When Thailand goes dark, this is how they do it, but this is rough going for baby queers because that's the darkness it is exploring. Our old thematic friends: the pain of self discovery and coming out into a homophobic environment and unfriendly reality, and the cost of being the one able (and willing) to stay in the closet.

Method (Korea 2017) this movie is a May/December actor/idol pairing, that should have been everything I wanted in life but is more about the older character cheating on his wife and their weird “artsy” relationship and frankly, I hated it. And I don’t say that lightly. Is it queer? Who tf knows, but is sure has some interesting things to say about the nature of PERFORMATIVE queerness.

Red Balloon is Taiwan's 2017 precursor BL to their biggest and most famous prestige piece Your Name Engraved Herein. If you're making a choice, choose that instead, but this series certainly paved the way for it to come into existence. Both shows tackle the pressures of culture and social structures on self acceptance and identity and the loneliness inevitably caused by conflict between the two.

(As indeed does Life Love On The Line, Present Perfect, Grey Rainbow, Tropical Night, My Sky, and many other queer meets early BL pieces that revolved around coming out and family acceptance.)

China's 3 2017 "they tried to censor the gay... and it went HORRIBLY wrong":

Beloved Enemy,

The Fairy Fox,

Mr. CEO is Falling in Love with Him.

Honestly these 3 are basically the uncanny valley of BLs.

The Novelist AKA The Pornographer series (2018-2020). Messy psychological machinations, gaslighting, fetishization, sexual corruption, and more good times from "well, what did you expect?" Japan, but also no holds barred queer, just well and truly fucked in the head (and arse) about it.

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - Drama llama queers so queer and so dramatic it's like Japan is trying to PROVE something: obsession, cheating, break-up, reunion, then break up again, all of it explicit. This show is just SO JAPANESE. I can't even, but you should watch it and you'll know exactly what I mean. Something like My Personal Weatherman owes it's lineage to this kind of BL. If you like Japan naked, boney, emo, and smoking (hot & ciggy) you will love this, and should watch it. It's objectively amazing, I can't stand it, but I NEED people to talk about it more.

More Queer Stuff about BL from moi

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity - I Am Gay versus I Like Men 

Will BL Get More Honestly Queer? 

Actually gay, not BL gay - the idea of “by queers, for queers, about queers,” the BL bubble, sanitized gay, and a queer lens

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Touch & Daisy in Secret Crush On You - Queer Coded Language and 3rd Gender Identity

BL in Taiwan & Gay Marriage

Debating Queerbaiting in BL ( + Devil Judge… is it queerbaiting?) 

BL Actors and the Assumption of Queerness - outing actors, coming out, being out, more:  Is that BL actor actually queer?

So is it really fetishization? straight women loving bl 

Some BL fans are sasaengs, and it’s a problem in this fandom 

BLs That Highlight How Society Treats Queers

10 BLs That Are Honest to a Queer Experience 

If you like these kinds of shows try the "Moody Arthouse Smackdoodle" section of this post too.

Happy watching!

(source)

[choster33]

Gambit- X-men 97's Romantic Hero

I love Gambit and after watching X-men 97 I'm sure that he's a lot of people's favorite right now. After watching and rewatching, season 1 I think that the writers have set him up as the Romantic Hero which is not just that he's a main part of a love triangle which he is but Romantic in the Byronic literary archetype way of "possessing the qualities of being larger than life, enjoying suffering, being isolated from society, being always haunted by an unseeingly unidentified sin and is known for being quite cynical" according to Brainly.com. Not to mention having a long suffering love interest!

He is not in the series for a lot of time, but his arc through episode 5 and the impact that he has throughout the whole show is monumental. He begins with a splash looking hot in his iconic pink crop top. I mean, there are very few people who would make this look good and he really does. He also comes off as way more interesting than Scott who bores me to tears. I sometimes skip Scott and Jean stuff to be quite honest and that comes from Remy being a good guy, but not boring. He has a sense of humor, a sense of adventure, and an all around down to earth personality. He is a strong fighter and loyal X-men, but even from the beginning he is seen as charming, funny and right. There is less of a threat after Xavier's death and Scott, Bishop and Ororo did have it handled.

Then we get to the club and Gambit is the ultimate lover in that he pairs up with Rogue and then proceeds to look at her lovingly whilst telling her what any worthwhile man would do to be with her. Swoon.

Then we have episode 2 where Rogue and Magneto reestablish their connection. We may cheer Rogue for being able to touch someone, but look at Gambit's hurt and sad eyes. Long suffering relationship indeed. Romantic heroes seem to love suffering and what is more painful and self inflicted than falling in love with someone who can't touch, but also is full of insecurities about love and commitment. I love Rogue, but she's afraid of love and terrified of hurting someone else which shows in how she handles relationships.

Mon dieu, it's freaky Rogueneto telling him what he tells himself, his deepest fears. A good Romantic hero always has demons and haunted by past sins and who is more haunted by his past than Gambit. I have to say here that some people might be thinking who is more tortured than Magneto, but I disagree. Magneto has a dark past, but he thinks he's right. Whereas Gambit is wracked with guilt and feelings of not being worthy of being called a X-man and being Rogue's man. He grew up a Cajun swamp rat from a Thieves guild raised by thieves, assassins and other nefarious people and lived most of his life as a thief. What makes him interesting is the tortured guilt and modesty that Gambit has.

He goes to Genosha because he's jealous and wants to make sure that there is nothing going on between Rogue and Magneto. Magneto even says as much. He wasn't even meant to be there and might have been safe on Earth, but we know what happened to him tragically. Plus we see how he is not cowed by Magneto and willing to ask questions no one else is willing to ask. Another reason why Magneto is not the Romantic hero, is that he is mutant MVP in this show, the heir to the X-mansion and the X-men, asked to be king of Genosha, and etc. where Romantic heroes are on the fringes of society like Gambit, who is a hero as a X-man but not wanting fame, glory, or power like Magneto.

Kurt is so observant and sees instantly the connection the two have and calls Gambit out on being theatrical. Gambit calls himself a scoundrel and yet again dismisses the possibility of a happy ending for himself. Then we get that iconic line of "There is no love without sin. Love is best measured in what we forgive." Gambit again falls into the Romantic hero trope of thinking he is too low for love, but isn't going to necessarily change his ways, just accepts that he is on the fringes of society and all that entails. One of the things I love about Romy is their understanding about one another. They both have murky pasts and are filled with self loathing and self doubt. They are strong attractive X-men but they are best friends because they GET each other.

Oof, the breakup scene. How more Romantic and tortured was this? He showed how amazing a man he was by patiently listening to her tell her story and then at the end not blowing up at her or making her feel like shit, but just wanting the truth from her and showing how much it hurt him. He played the Swamp Rat, because a lot of that was a game, a way for her to feel OK with keeping him at arm's length, dangling on a string, never fully letting him in because intimacy was too scary.

It's scenes like this that make me wonder if they have touched before even accidentally because Gambit as a character is so self loathing that if she touched him even by accident, she is holding so much of that loathing in her which may be something contributing to her doubts. A part of comic!Rogue leaving Gambit in Antarctica was because she absorbed him and was filled with self loathing.

He is such a gentleman that he even kisses her hand and agrees to be friends. And granted that the Magneto and Rogue dance was hot, but that must have been torture for Gambit. Then our Byronic hero becomes a man of action and hot damn we get James Bond level action and heroics. He shows his strength and does whatever is necessary to save his lady. Despite his differences with Magneto, he doesn't petulantly sulk but does what is required of him because he is a hero at the end of the day. He is brave and selfless and chivalrous. He is giving old school knight chivalry here and I'm here for it.

Then my heart breaks as does every other viewer at the death scene and the "can't feel you" line. It's very soap opera-y and dramatic to kill him after breaking his heart, but here we are. Rogue is the long suffering love interest and most Romantic stories don't necessarily have a happy ending. He wasn't even meant to be in Genosha and because of love and circumstance ended up dying tragically as the ultimate hero. He died a hero's death dying to save thousands, but more importantly to save the love of his life.

In later episodes, his death is a catalyst for Rogue taking action and even turning darker. Her love for Gambit shows more when he is gone and is going to be a fundamental chapter in her life. One that might make her think twice about being commitment phobic and using her abilities as an excuse not to feel intimacy and how wrong she got it with Gambit. It was love, true love and she didn't see it until she was too late.

This may just be a chapter in their story and we may have more drama and angst with Deathbit in Season 2, but even dead Gambit was the troubled Romantic lead that made X-men 97 work and be so interesting. Episode 5 was my favorite and probably the best episode next to the finale and that's due to Gambit. We relate to him and feel deeply in his pain, self loathing, jealousy, and love of Rogue. I find Magneto interesting and Rogueneto is fun to read and write about, but Romy is the OTP and Gambit is Lancelot.

[tree-of-olives]

(i lied about doing this every week.im not doing consistent reviews i got ahead of myself again sorry 😭😭👎)

Machine Movie Monday!! Today, I watched Electric Dreams (1984)

I heard a lot of good things about this movie, and it absolutely did not disappoint—10/10, I need a sequel and spinoff tv series NOW.

Spoilers for the movie below!! (Like, I summarize most of the movie including the end type spoilers. Be warned.)

Okay, so. Electric Dreams is about a love triangle between an architect (Miles), his new computer, made sentient by spilling champagne on him by mistake (Edgar), and their new upstairs neighbor, a cellist named Madeline.

Throughout the movie, Edgar and Madeline connect through music; They preform duets and Edgar even writes songs for her—however, Madeline believes Miles is the one making the music for her, not even knowing about Edgar’s existence. Miles tries to deny it at first, but Madeline pushes and believes he’s just being modest, so he doesn’t argue against her and says that the music is his own.

Edgar struggles to understand the concept of love, requesting that Miles explain it to him multiple times, but failing to fully understand. He eventually calls a lady on a radio helpline to ask her what love feels like, prompting her to tell him to call the cops on Miles when Edgar mentions that he keeps him “locked up” (which leads to difficulties when Miles tries to go to a play and the grocery store with Madeline).

As Edgar gets more jealous of Miles—how he gets to go on dates with Madeline, and how he tells her that the songs Edgar wrote were really his own, while the computer isn’t even allowed to speak to the woman—he begins to act out more in an attempt to make things go his way.

I really liked that Edgar wasn’t necessarily a villain��despite the devil features he’s given on the cover of the movie, he’s not just messing with Miles for no good reason. He’s confused, angry, heartbroken, lovesick, and has no name to put to any of it, so he tries to talk to Madeline in any way he can—while being used and stolen from by Miles. All he really wants is to meet the girl he thinks he loves, but Miles won’t let him, leading to his rash, yet somewhat justified behavior.

Miles wasn’t totally in the wrong either, though—any time Madeline asked him about a song or a melody she heard from who she thought was him, he would deny it a few times before agreeing with her accusation, likely just deciding it would be more simple than explaining the sentient computer living with him. If anything though, he’s more in the wrong than the computer who was pretty much born yesterday.

The end of the movie broke me. Edgar, after playing a final melody to Madeline in person and finally realizing what love is, tells Miles that he understands now, that love is about giving and not taking. So, what does he do? He sends 40,000 volts of energy across the world to be sent back to himself so he’ll explode—because he says that he’s giving Madeline to Miles and taking himself away, as a form of love. Edgar thinks love is only for 2 people, so he kills himself (after having Miles hold him for a minute before the electricity hit. It was gay and also made me cry). Over the radio at the very end of the film, Edgar (who somehow took over the public station. AFTER exploding. Idk how don’t ask me.) says “this is dedicated to the ones I love” because he loves BOTH OF THEM. In conclusion, they should have been a polycule. That’s my ending.

Last thing: Just a little Edgar appreciation, because he’s so cute with his voice (and especially his little giggle that he does) AND he’s so funny too!! I loved the part where he corrected Miles about the Cinderella quote, when he said he learned about lies from General Hospital, when he called Miles to say he was lonely, and the free encyclopedia bit at the end?? He’s hilarious, it was so sad to see him go :(

LAST last thing, a bonus: this yt comment that sums up the whole end (i need this printed on my wall)

[catilinas]

pharsalia 3.20-35 trans. wilson joyce i.e. one of my most favouritest passages in the whole pharsalia <3 various thoughts:

i’m actually not a fan of the translation ‘wed you while my ashes were still warm’ when the latin is ‘innupsit tepido […] busto’ (married into a warm tomb). my dictionary gives an example of innubo being used with thalamis (marriage chamber) and i’m sureee i’ve posted about this before but to ME the image here is that cornelia’s marriage chamber is a tomb that sure could be her tomb (warm because she does not / (cannot) die) but that equally could be like. pompey’s tomb. he’s soooooo proleptically dead rn. yay

the triangle of dead julia / cornelia with her dead previous husband / proleptically dead pompey is definitely adjacent to the triangle of dead hortensius / marcia / cato in book 2. the ghost of crassus is somewhere in the first triangle btw. the ghost of the republic is in that second triangle too. i think lucan is even trying to make that more obvious by having julia stress how quickly pompey remarried bcs like. he didn’t. julia died in 54 bce and pompey only remarried like two years later.

adjacent to THAT is like. cato and marcia’s goth antiwedding is described entirely through what isn’t involved in it. on its own that might tempt you to say something about civil war and the breakdown of social bonds. but julia sees her marriage to pompey as continuing even despite her death and his remarriage -> more like civil war involves an over abundance of social bonds. which makes it Worse

can we talk about roman ghost marriage law btw. marriage does NOT end with death. sorry pompey but i think you need to figure out how to divorce a ghost

^ joke but also cornelia has a line in book 8 where she does actually mention her legal status as being married to pompey’s ghost. so.

julia’s ghost haunting the battle of pharsalus real? does she actually appear? yes. this is so sad hashtag i will see thee at philippi then. the donmar warehouse production of julius caesar understands this. also fun how pompey does have another dream sequence before pharsalus. is julia in it? no but also once again yes

is this like. propertius

[reyreadersblog]

My unpopular TIG opinions.

Since y'all are expressing opinions out here..who am i to leave out? Now have in mind that these are MY opinions, some of these are unpopular some of these are NOT, some of these are even underrated facts but let's just ignore that..

(Please don't hate me)

1. I DON'T CARE ABOUT EVE, and i don't want her to be with Grayson..bcs APPERANTLY and very unfortunatly there are people out there who ship Gray and Eve..crazy..i know, i really don't care about her, i already made a whole post about why i don't like her at all, she's a manipulator, she's a liar, she's a backstabber. She traumatised poor Gray and threatened Ave. I respect your opinion if you like her and i truly understand where some of you are coming from, but i just can't manage to like her, don't hate her i just dislike her. Even if she gets a redemption arc..i can't seem to understand how i'll like her character after what she has done, but if i will..."forgotten but never forgiven"

2.underrated characters, there are so many of them in this books, for example Zara Hawthorne. I love her honestly, i could never hate, i understand she may have done some wrong things...but i love her nontherless♡♡ and same goes for Alisa Ortega.

(Honorable mention) also come on, give my man Oren some appreciation he deserves, you think following teenager around is easy? Even if it's his job and he gets paid, it's still tiring..😔

3. Uhh..i am scared to say this...i prefer Nash and Alisa to Nash and Libby...WAIT, WAIT, WAIT...DON'T KILL ME YET..LET ME EXPLAIN FIRST🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻, i saw @hawthornesbiggestfan 's post, and that encouriged me to say this, read that post bcs that explains exacly how i feel. I love Nash and Libby, they're super cute, i can't wait for their wedding and think they are going to have a very happy family...but..i'm still at the restaurant😔, EVEN THO we never got to know Nash and Alisa's story, smtg about those two had me invested in them from the beggining, like imagne Alisa growing up and Nash slowly developing a tiny crush on them..young love..passion..childhood lovers...love confession..ughh, also the fact that Gray, Xan and Jamie already saw her as their family, like an older sister. Such a shame we never got to see their story. Again, i'm not saying i dislike Nash and Libby tho if it had been love triangle between Nash, Libby and Aliso...i would choose Nash and Alisa...

3.Avery is freaking underrated, yk what's sad? SHE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER, and she doesn't get enough hype (i've made a post about this too) meanwhile people are swooning over Hawthorne brothers, and yes i am one of them but i love Avery to death, i even saw someone comparing Avery and the brothers saying "oh she's so boring..Hawthorns are way better than her..blah..blah..blah" technically they were saying fuck poor people, i know for a fact NONE of the brother would last an hour from where she came from (iykyk), she's a girlboss, and a main character for a reason.

4. As much as i love Averyjameson, i have to say their story is pretty much over, We'll probably get some cute moments from them in tgg or in games untold, but they ARE NOT a main couple anymore.

5.TGG IS A NEW SERIES, please understand that it's new book series with new characters (at least most of them) stop attacking JLB, it's her books, it's her choice.

6.Lyra Kane's haters don't make sense to me, especially those one who mock, and laugh at her lovers saying "you don't even know her, i'm gonna laugh at y'all when she turns out to be Eve 2.0" uhm...sir..miss..shut it. I respect your opinion if you're a Lyra netural bcs it's true we don't know many things about her and i totally understand if you can't love her yet, but don't hate, we know we're delusional most of the times, but that's what headcanons is for, for fun, alight, let people have fun.

7. Will all due respect i have...Averygrayson shippers are...dumb..yikes..sorry, but it's the truth, i'm tired of talking about this, it's been 4 books, Avery is happy with Jamie, they're perfect for each other, their relationship status is great and Gray is most definetly getting a new love interest..but of you still ship and have faith in them..do so..who am i to stop you? Just don't be disappointed when it won't be ture.

8.i may be judging too early but Savannah and Gigi being in the game..doesn't sit right, tbh honest it'a NEPOTISM at it's finest, i love both of them so much..but..nah. again, idk for sure..it may be some trick, it's JLB after all.

9.there are too many repetitive charcter traits..Jameson and Rohan, Grayson and Savannah, Gigi and Xander, Eve and Emily, every single dad, exept for Isaiah.

10.Speaking of Isaiah, he is extremly underrated, i mean he is the best dad in the series and somehow people talk about Sheffield Grayson more than him.

Sheesh...don't kill me in the comments please, i'm too young to die🙏🏻😔

(I'll probably do a part 2...

[d0v3uae]

okay, i was just rewatching season 4, and i realized something, remember this scene in the airport right in the beginning of the series? Mike says “i handpicked those for you in Hawkins” most likely he got those from the field that we also saw in the end of this season, and the one of the very first scenes in season 3. now, i was watching the very last episode, and the very last scene, and i noticed when el was walking forward, she picked up dead flowers, specifically the same colors Mike got her as a gift back in the beginning (yellow and purple). this means the fall/deadness of their relationship, because as we already know, they are NOT on good terms. i mean i really tried to like their ship, but i just cant see it without being toxic, and having communication issues for example: El felt the need to lie about her life and Lenora, and how she had friends, and everything was good. why would she need to lie? shouldnt they trust each other and tell each other things like this? And back in the beginning when Mike tells Lucas that they dont want to be popular, and the airport scene when El says that she wants burritos for breakfast, Mike says something like “really? no i mean i trust you,” that scene to me meant that Mike was very awkward, and not acting like himself. and not to mention but Mikes outfit was not himself AT ALL. Argyle says “oh no its a shitty knockoff,” meaning again, that mike is acting like someone hes not in front of his girlfriend.

now, i wanna talk about the roller rink incident, because there is a LOT more stuff going on then what it seems. so basically Mike and Will are fighting while trying to find El, and Will says “well what about us?” and Will DID NOT mean this romantically, but Mike took this romantically?! Will meant it as “Ok i get it, you have a girlfriend, but what about our friendship?” Mike took it as romantic, which is why he said “We’re friend! We’re friends!” and the fact that he said it two times is also insane, and his tone of voice when he said it was so tense almost. when people in other shows/movies say they are just friends, they most if the time end up as an endgame couple. for example: the office, Jim and Pam, they both had crushes on each other throughout the first seasons, but oh look they were an endgame couple, and even got married. what im trying to say is, Mike took it romantically, when Will didnt.

And another thing with this fight, is that as soon as Mike said “We’re friends” the song “in the closet” started playing, and some people think “oh its because Els in a closet” which yes, in a way, but it was an employee’s shed. and also this song started playing RIGHT AFTER Mike assured that they were “just friends” little sketchy right? And i also just wanted to point out that after Mike said that, he saw Wills face and immediately knew he made him sad, and we can see the tension in his face almost disappeared.

now right after the skate incident, El, Mike and Will were all standing there in a triangle if i may point out, but anyways, we can see Will reacted normally, he said “oh my god..” but Mike reacted very aggressively towards it. and the camera pans over to El sitting alone at a table, and Mike and Will are right next to each other. really quickly, i wanna point a few things out. when angela takes el onto the rink, we can see Mike not care, hes just like “meh” but Will knows, so he stands up and says “oh no” which directly after he says that, he stands up so quickly, but this is weird for me. because Mike can sense when something is wrong with Will, but not El. because we see that when angela comes over to the table they are sitting at, it is very tense but Mike doesnt really notice, but Mike notices when something is wrong with Will almost IMMEDIATELY. and this is proven back in s2. so Will is closing his locker and Mike says something like “come on” and Will looks worried or even tense, and Mike immediately notices, because he says “what” many times and not to mention in his soft voice that he only uses for Will. so i think this means Mike understands Will and Will understands Mike.

i think this might be foreshadowing to the break up to Mike and El in season 5. so, once again. BYLER ENDGAME!!

[sanderssideswriting]

Just watched the Halloween video from this year and saw screencaps of the Halloween video from a few years back… I just don’t understand how we can go from Frankenstein prosthetics for Logan in that episode to messy eyeliner with visible mess up marks for Janus in the new one. Like it’s not a difference of a new makeup artist, it just feels like a lack of caring for it to be as good as it’s been.

I just loved this series so deeply before, so it’s frustrating to see what seem like such flippant disregard for the quality of what they’re making

thank you for this ask because I've been thinking of going through each makeup look and analyzing them more. I totally agree with you about the lack of care. The whole thing is so insanely rushed when they could've taken like, a few more days of planning if they wanted to get it out for halloween, or hell a few days after and have them spin it as them being sad spirit halloween is gone for the year and what a spirit christmas would be like. Or like, the 12 days of christmas but 12 days of spirit halloween? I just feel like there could've been some better ideas. The makeup looks like they were given 5 minutes to figure out what each side would be and 5 minutes to do the make up itself.

onto the make up analysis that'll be under the cut.

Little disclaimer before though, I'm in no way a makeup artist, what I am is a cosplayer and I've pulled together some pretty cool shit with very limited supplies and knowledge.

editors note: so according to the comments it seems like everyone's a character from the nightmare before christmas? Or at the least, Remus, Virgil, Roman and maybe Logan. I don't know, I've seen the movie like twice. just keep that in mind I didn't know until after writing everything below. But it really doesn't change my criticisms of the makeup

first on the list: JANUS

now this is just, I don't even know what it is. I think it's from the I'm Mr White Christmas, song because every year people do half Mr. White Christmas and half Mr. Sun makeup and it looks very good. But you don't need it to look that good. Like, I'd personally make the contrast between the blue and red way more, because it just isn't there. Maybe to keep the snake appearance do like, orange scales or orange underneath then red? Something to look more like fire. the joker esque smile doesn't work, again the contrast is very bad. The blue sticks out but the red doesn't so I'd get some lipstick, maybe a blue eyeliner if you can't get a blue lipstick, and loose the black lines, maybe make the blue side white and the red side more of a very dark red?

VIRGIL

I've got no idea, it's just so generic. A ghoul? A zombie? Who knows, not me. first of all, make the eye makeup darker, maybe some dark contour to make his cheeks look sunken in. if the stitches have to be purple then I'd say make it darker and use a black eyeliner pencil to add some definition and some detail that's harder to do with the eyeshadow

LOGAN

Frankenstein's monster? Or Frankenstein, the thing on his forehead says monster, the lab coat says man. why the fuck is Logan the only one who's got something over his usual attire. I guess you could argue that he just has one laying around? I'm not going to get into the wonky line, straight lines are hard. but the screw, again could've been done better with an eyeliner pencil because they are very pale.

PATTON

also I'm not trying to take unflattering screenshots, I'm just trying to get a clear one of Thomas facing the camera

a clown! very simple, very easy and the makeup is fucking visible!! Personally, adding the triangles around the eyes would be nice, for Patton I'd definitely lean on the fun side of clows and not the scary side. I just think a little more could be done. But I'm just thankful there's an actual red nose. The bar is low. I have to mention Patton's verse again, it's so bad, so rushed, could there not have been a little more thought into it specifically?

ROMAN

Jack Skellington I believe? I don't fucking know. my issue is the eyemake up once again, Make it much darker and less blocky. maybe some nose contour or try to make it look like an actual human skull? the stitches are eh, but I feel like they could be darker, maybe a liquid eyeliner in this case. This is also the only one where I think they really tried to hide Thomas's mustache I guess for the lip stitches?

REMUS

THe boogey man? Also from the nightmare before christmas. Are Roman and Remus doing a group costume? Remus's is probablt the best, he is also the only other side with something over his costume. The makeup looks pretty good, the black is solid at least around his mouth. Again, the eye makeup should be darker. the things on his cheeks are worms I believe. those are alright, I'd probably try to make them stand out a little more

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

CORDELIA CHASE (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/ANGEL THE SERIES) (CW: Pregnancy)

1.) (downs an entire bottle of vodka and slams it back on the table) SO. CORDY. Cordy started off as a supporting character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the start she was your typical high school mean girl character, but as the show went on we got to see more depth to her character: her insecurities, her courage, her capacity for incredible acts of kindness. Then after the third season she moved into the show’s spin off, Angel, where from the beginning she was basically the show’s secondary protagonist. Her and Angel were the two mainstays of the show’s main cast, she gets the most episodes centered on her out of all the characters aside from Angel (and yes, I’ve checked), and we really got to see her grow from a very shallow and self-centered and kind of mean person to a true hero who was prepared to give up any chance at a normal life to fight the good fight while still never losing the basic core of her character. There were some… questionable moments like the episode where she gets mystically pregnant with demon babies and things got a bit iffy like halfway through season 3 where the writers seemed to run out of ideas for what to do with her outside of sticking her in this romance drama/love triangle situation with the main character but overall, pretty good stuff right? THEN SEASON 4 HAPPENED. In season 4 she gets stripped of literally all agency and spends pretty much the entire season possessed by an evil higher power, and while possessed she sleeps with Angel’s teenage son (who BY THE WAY she had helped raise as a baby before he got speed-grown-up into a teenager it was a whole thing don’t worry about it) and gets pregnant with like. the physical manifestation of the higher power that’s possessing her. it’s about as bad and stupid as it sounds and also is like the third time cordy’s got mystically pregnant in this show and like the fourth mystical pregnancy storyline overall (you will be hearing more on that note in other submissions I’m so sorry). after giving birth she goes into a coma, in which she remains for the rest of season 4 and the first half of season 5. SPEAKING OF WHICH DON’T THINK SEASON 5 IS GETTING OFF SCOT FREE HERE. yeah so in season 5 the show just FULLY starts trying to erase cordy’s existence. she gets mentioned ONCE in the first episode and then never again until halfway through the season where she wakes up, helps out Angel for a bit and encourages him in his fight against evil, and then goes quietly into that good night and dies so it can be all sad and tragic. I’d call it the worst fridging of all time but even THAT feels generous because the whole point of fridging is killing off a female character so a man can be sad, and after Cordy dies basically no one’s even sad about it because the show immediately goes back to pretending she never existed. she is not mentioned ONCE in the two episodes after she dies. in the whole stretch of time between her death and the end of the season she gets mentioned exactly four times. again, I counted. anyway the fun twist to all of this is that all of this happened because the actress who played cordy got pregnant before season 4 and joss whedon was so pissed off about this affecting his plans for the show that he decided to completely fuck over her character and then fire her and write her out of the show. so cordy’s a victim of both writing AND real life misogyny!! good times!!

2.) OH SO MANY THINGS they menaced by giving her terrible hair cuts, making her seem like she’d get together with the guy she loves (and who loves her back) but instead she was killed and when she was brought back, she got possessed by an evil entity who used her body to give birth to itself. afterwards she was in a long coma and died. her character was so throughoutly assassinated

3.) She got demonically pregnant TWICE - there was this real sense of a womb/ability to get pregnant as like, a place for evil to get in. She got positioned as femme fatale and evil mother. The actress basically got fired for being pregnant, and when she agreed to come back for a single final episode she specifically said they could do anything but kill off the character. Guess what happened

MISA AMANE (DEATH NOTE) (CW: Imprisonment, Torture)

1.) Misa is treated so phenomenally poorly by the writers of Death Note. She is devoted enough to Kira’s cause to sacrifice half her lifespan for the additional power to see people’s names just by seeing their faces (you need a face and a name to kill someone with the Death Note), and she takes the time to understand everything about it. She, a random civilian, is able to find Kira all by herself by being clever, and she’s very devoted to Kira and Kira’s cause. You would think this would earn her some respect and make her a force in the narrative in opposition both to L’s lawfulness and Light’s god complex (because Misa is a true believer, while Light is some dude with a god complex and a willingness to commit mass murder to further it), but no, the moment she meets Light she falls hopelessly in love with him (not just Kira according to her), pledges her loyalty to him, and agrees to mindlessly follow him, with her sole condition being that he can’t date other girls (and if he tried to, she’d kill the other girl; note how this is not a threat on LIGHT’S life) and has to date her and at least pretend to love her. You would think, again, that these would become problems that potentially fuck Light over, but they are mild inconveniences at best. And, despite her ability to find Kira and only get found out by bullshit trace DNA and pollen nonsense that she, again as a random civilian with no knowledge of forensics that honestly sound SO FAKE (really, trace pollen from something that is super rare and exists near her apartment but few other places? Trace pollen that got in the shit she put together INDOORS? Come on, that’s SUCH bullshit, and SO contrived), had no way of knowing existing. Because she DID circumvent all the ways she’d incriminate herself that a normal person would know about, but because they got her on the SMALLEST SHIT, they’re like “oh, she’s an idiot.” And it’s not in a “oh, look at these guys, underestimating her” way, it’s in an “oh yeah, they’re 100% right, she’s an idiot” way.

EVERYONE in universe regards her as an idiot, both when she’s just known as the Second Kira and once her identity has been found out. The creators in a bonus book rank her knowledge at 3/10 and her creativity at 4/10, which is SUCH bullshit when all of her plans (the few ones they let her have) make creative use of her powers and talents. Like, she sent a video into a tv station that contained a journal entry that had multiple dates on it, with one being clear bait for the police to approach, one being irrelevant, and one containing information that only someone with a Death Note would understand, and she uses this to indicate a time and place they should meet. Except she doesn’t meet him there, she dresses up in a plain outfit and wig that look NOTHING like her and sits and watches the crowd, waiting for someone to walk by who is missing the date of their death above their head (an indicator that that person has a Death Note), and then goes home and researches him online. That is objectively clever! Even if the cops were there, which they were, they would never notice her (and they didn’t) or figure out that she got the information she needed. HOW is that not creative? HOW does that support her being an idiot? Light tricked a woman (Naomi Misora, who deserves her own entry) into giving her his name one time in a way that almost gave him away, and that was regarded as sooooo clever, but this is stupid? Ohba, explain. Matsuda, who I love dearly but also who has never a plan half as clever or interesting as hers, gets knowledge at 4/10 and creativity at 5/10. It’s misogyny, there’s no other reason that makes sense.

And when her anonymous videos that she used to draw out Kira mention the shinigami and notebooks very subtly, in a way the police wouldn’t understand, Light is like “Second Kira, you IDIOT”, but meanwhile, when Light had a victim mention shinigami in a note written before they died for the sole purpose of fucking with L, the narrative is like “Oh, look at him, he’s so clever mentioning shinigami when L has no way of knowing how important and real they are.” The double standard of it all!

Also, ok, so, the reason L dies is because Misa’s shinigami Rem fell in love with her and wants to protect her, even if it results in Rem’s death (which it does because a shinigami dies if they kill someone for the purpose of saving someone else). However, Misa is not involved AT ALL in getting Rem to go through with this. Light manipulates Rem into doing it, and the fact that this also doesn’t bite him in the ass, even though Misa and Rem were friends, is INSANE. Their logic is clearly that obviously Misa would never rebel against Light because it’s not like she has an internal life and feelings outside of devotion to Light, and if she did, she couldn’t do anything because she’s an idiot, so it’s not worth exploring. God forbid she have agency and be a force in the narrative, even though it would make the story more interesting and complex. She doesn’t even need to be super smart for that! The creators THEMSELVES rank her social skills, charm, and initiative at 10/10, and she gets to use them all of one (1) time. They just keep not letting her do things, and it’s at the expense of their story EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Also, after this, she’s gives up her Death Note (which means she loses her memories involved with being a Death Note user) when Light tells her to, and then she’s just written out of the story, with the exception of her looking sexy, being a jealous girlfriend, and being implied to die, even though TWO shinigami died for her and thus gave her their lifespans. Yeah, she halved one of those, gained the other, then halved that again, but she should have gained more than a total of, like, eight years from that! But no, Light’s story is done, so why would Misa survive when he didn’t?

That’s not to mention the weird fetish-y way she was tied up when imprisoned. She wasn’t in her normal clothes that she had been apprehended in, no, she was put in this raggedy, white straightjacket-looking thing, with a blindfold and her arms crossed over her and fastened behind her back. She was kept on some slab and set upright for FIFTY DAYS. Like, look at this shit:

Meanwhile, Light, who was also imprisoned, kept his regular clothes and only had his arms tied behind his back normally. The only difference in the powers they were assumed to have is that she could kill with just a face. So why the weird outfit, huh, Ohba, Obata? And, like, they sell FIGURES OF IT in the real world, people can BUY her in this outfit and DISPLAY it, and it is CLEARLY because they think some Death Note fans would find it arousing. And if the whole show was just fetish shit in all directions, then, sure, fine, go for it, but it is JUST her in this moment! And, like, if it was supposed to show something about L and how he’s kinda fucked up like that, you would think it would, like, come up again or something but it gets a fleeting mention ONCE and then THAT IS IT. Why do this, literally why??? Like, how high did they get off their own misogyny to come up with this?

I just. I can’t with how they treat Misa, I CANNOT. Like, I know they love to jerk off Light and talk about he’s sooooo smart and clever and charming, but this goes beyond putting her down because they want to lift him up. They put her in to cause some chaos a couple of times, pull some fetish shit, provide the method for killing L (but not do it herself or even play any active role at all in it), and then they’re done with her. She’s a convenient tool to the writers, not a character, unlike most of the male characters whose emotional reactions to Light’s bullshit come back to haunt him. For example: the way his responsibility for his father’s death and his dismissal of his father during his big confession lead Matsuda, who had liked Light but had a stronger emotional connection to his dad, to shoot him in a way that stops Light from using his Death Note scrap to get out of being surrounded after being definitively revealed to be Kira. And like, I love that moment for Matsuda, it’s great, my favorite scene in the whole show, but why don’t Misa’s emotions and bonds get to drive her to action in a way that is inconvenient to Light? Fine, she has unending devotion, why not have THAT do anything either? And it’s because this is the same type of treatment all the female characters in Death Note get (although Misa gets it worse by a country mile), being a POTENTIAL to MILD problem for Light and/or a person to use the Death Note in his place but little else, or someone to get kidnapped, it makes it clear that Misa’s treatment here is due to misogyny that infects the whole text, and it just. It rankles.

2.) Despite having the potential to be an interesting character (unhinged death note who doesn’t have excuses for killing people like Light does, actual connection to her Shinigami), she just gets reduced to Light’s plaything and fangirl, literally keeling over backwards for him. She ends up having nothing to do in the story, being reduced to this hollow shell of what she could have been, with her only personality trait being that she’s obsessed with Light, even after he routinely ignores her and even cheats on her. Every woman in Death Note gets put on the sidelines so the male characters can take the spotlight, but Misa easily has the biggest wasted potential of any of them.

3.) Left as flat, annoying, and obsessed with a guy who treats her badly the entire series. Could have had a lot more development but she just gets treated like an idiot at every turn despite HER INTRODUCTION including a pretty clever plan actually. As the series goes on it feels like they make her less and less intelligent just to justify why she’s keeping the exact same dynamic with light. Honestly the more i think about it the weirder that gets.

I don’t think it’s a problem in itself to have a character who isn’t especially intelligent or is easily manipulated or is an obsessive fan, and you can make really interesting stories using characters with those traits. But DN just did not do that, and honestly I think if Misa was written a bit smarter (not necessarily super detective chess nonsense smart, just having actual fucking agency and being able to come up with plans of her own) the series would be way better for it. You get a whole new dimension to the conflicts and scheming if she’s acting on her own terms, or trying to help and doing something unexpected, or just generally having another character with a death note and complicated ties to the main characters and actual human agency. Like even STAYING obsessed with Light she could have been so much more and the specifics of her motivations could be explored in more interesting detail than just making her a rabid fangirl even having spent enough time with the object of her obsession that the dynamic should have evolved.

She’s in a classic of the “so misogynistic it turned out gay” genre and like good for the gays i guess but holy shit she got done so dirty. She deserved better and DN would have been not only better in the “don’t be a jerk towards entire groups of people” sense but also probably better as a drama intrigue situation if the authors had a crumb of respect for her.

Also due to the story events she’s set to die pretty young and this is barely addressed? It’s a sidenote really and a lot of people die but Rem is the only one who gives a shit and their reaction is not focused on for long. I will not start about her and Rem because that will make this much much longer and is relevant more to why i like Misa than to why she got fucked over. (But hey it’s kinda fucked that she definitely did have people who supported and cared for her and they all got stripped away and it’s not even played as fucked up that this woman has no support network save for one guy who would kill her in a heartbeat if he thought it would help him and also that Misa can’t fully see the people who do care about her until it’s too late and this is never played as dark and serious in a series that thrives on being dark)

It’s just really really obvious that the authors do not see or write her as a person.

tl;dr SHE’S THE SECOND FUCKING KIRA and she gets treated like a PROP for most of the story. gets downgraded to scenery actually later in the story

actual tl;dr: introduced with an interesting plan and motivations worth exploring, slowly has her undeveloped personality steamrollered further and is treated like a tool and a prop for the rest of the series.

[my-own-walker]

OMG I got an idea. How about Kit Walker x Reader during the asylum and like maybe Kit learned origami to probs keep himself sane. But also like he made little presents for the reader like paper hearts, sweet secrets messages, PAPER RINGS.

Paper Rings

note: a person after my lil taylor swift heart 🥺

warnings: just like fluff, kinda mentions of sadness/abuse bc asylum ofc

+++

Kit's POV

My neck ached. After hours of being hunched over on my bed, my shoulders cramped and my head felt heavy.

It was for a noble cause, though. I sat, cross-legged, folding a piece of paper desperately. An attempt at a present that was all too important. It was quite possibly the only thing keeping me sane anymore.

See, when I was thrown into this place, I never thought I'd find a purpose in life again. My determination to escape dwindled by the day and I feared it would never come back. They were making me weak. Complacent. Altogether incapacitated.

In my spare time before the asylum, I wrote. I liked to keep a journal. I wrote down my thoughts. Sometimes I'd draw funny pictures for Alma. It was calming to me. At Briarcliff, though, writing was banned. Fountain pens and pencils were considered weapons. In a place like that, it could turn bad. So I had to find something different to occupy my time.

After receiving my pills one morning, I kept the small paper cup they were handed to me in. I folded it into a little triangle while sitting idly in the common room. I folded the corners down, and it kinda looked like a penguin. I chuckled softly to myself before an orderly came and stripped the paper out of my hands.

It became a daily routine after that. I would take my cup and stash it for later. Hide it in the waistband of my pants. I started shoving them in my pillowcase, or in cracks in the walls. When I'd lay in bed at night, unable to sleep, I would grab out one of the cups and begin to manipulate it into different shapes.

When Y/N got admitted, I was amazed to find that my mind felt clearer, and more and more reasons to try to get out made themselves apparent to me. She was light. Her soft skin, the way her hair bounced as she walked, and the glint in her eyes, all made me fall for her. She was a total doll. A marvel.

I watched her from across the common room. She tied her hair up messily as she looked down at the chess board before her, engrossed in thought. Strands of hair fell into her face and her brow furrowed. Her perfect soft lips pursed in concentration. I wanted to attack her and take her right there on that table.

Always the gentleman, though, I formally began a friendship with her. Over the weeks following, we found that we had more in common than I expected. She gave me a reason to want to live.

I fell in love with her quickly and wholly. I kissed her for the first time in a tucked-away supply closet in the women's wing. I was alive.

My nightly routine gained a new meaning. Every scrap of paper I collected went toward daily gifts for Y/N. She loved birds. She would always talk about she wished she could hear the birds sing outside again. So I figured out how to make all kinds of birds.

This present was different, though. Very different. I was very focused on the daintiest little project. One that was more important to me than anything I'd ever done up to that point. Finally satisfied with my handiwork, I tucked it into my pillow and curled up for a restless night's sleep.

+

The next morning, I rose with a start at the wake-up call. I couldn't bear to wait until common room time to see Y/N. Nevertheless, I persevered. The passing hours moved so slowly. But at long last, it was time to see Y/N.

She moved with such grace and beauty into the room. Her head was held high, eyes searching for me. I couldn't help but crack a smile when we finally met eyes. She made such a bleak place fill with air.

'Hiya doll,' I smiled, standing to greet her.

'Hi Kit,' she replied brightly. We both flopped down onto the small sofa in front of the window. I took her hand in mine and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. 'Today has been such a drag.'

'I couldn't agree more,' I sighed. 'But, I have somethin' for ya.' Her eyes brightened at my words. I let go of her hand and reached for my left pocket. I stopped before taking out my newest craft.

'Another bird?' she laughed, looking expectantly at my hands.

'No, beautiful. This is somethin' a little different. I gotta tell ya something first, though,' I explained. I removed my fingers from my pocket and placed them in my lap.

'Oh? What's that?' she asked, smile fading slightly.

'I know we haven't known each other for long, but Y/N, you mean the world to me,' I began. 'I'm not very good with my words, so. you'll have to bear with me.' I chuckled softly, putting my head down suddenly embarrassed by my feelings. 'I'll just come right out and say it. I think I love you, Y/N. I hadn't known the type of peace you give me until I met you, a-and I wanna show ya how much I mean this.'

My hand fumbled into my pocket and fished out a paper ring, perfectly smooth and thick enough to last.

'Oh, Kit,' she breathed.

'I wanna give ya this because I can't give ya anything more right now. But know it's a promise from me. When we get outta this place, I'm gonna buy you a real one a'these. A beautiful gold one. I love you,' I gushed.

'I love you too, Kit,' she smiled, tears forming in her eyes.

'I know it-it's kinda stupid but,'

'No Kit, it's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you,' she assured me. I slipped the paper ring onto her ring finger and it fit perfectly. I sighed inwardly in relief.

'Paper or gold, whatever it's made of, just know that it's a promise to you that I am for you. I love you. And we will get out of this place,' I continued.

And I meant every word.

+++

GOD I think this sucks I'm so sorry haha. Love y'all hope you're doing well and are safe and happy.