#he also had a sasuke hair cut

[ccorinthian]

One thing I learnt in high school was being friends w the sasuke guy nobody else wanted to be friends with

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[bomber-grl]

hi! I’m the anon who sent the naruto headcanons and I wanted to say that I loved them! I was wondering if you could please do more of them, always with team 7 and how the act at the beginning of a relationship/how they keep courting the male/gn reader, maybe how they act when they’re feeling jealous. Thank you again!

Relationship + Jealousy Headcanons

Pairing: Characters x Gn!Ninja!Reader (teammate)

Character(s): Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha

A/n : I’m glad you loved the first ones and I hope you enjoy these too :]

Naruto Uzumaki

Once you start dating he’s in between these two categories: clingy and shy

One second he’d be the hyperactive person we all know (and love) him to be

Going on about Hokage stuff, ramen or honestly anything that comes up in that empty brain of his

Then he’d suddenly become like weirdly self aware, stiff up, turn to you, and continue but with a blush and be more quiet about his interests than before

You could assume it’s him being insecure but he really just gets bashful sometimes

I mean cmon

He’s probs had a crush on you for years and when you get together- you’re like the only person who would even consider him as a potential partner (in his mind)

Especially with how people treated him

Gradually he does get comfortable again, I mean at one point you guys were friends and he was really open about everything

Well eventually it gets to that point again

Just that this time whenever he’s being bold, he turns to you all bashful and turns back away and continues rambling

He’s really stupid but in an endearing way

Naruto is obviously pretty strong, head on and stubborn- we all know that

So imagine some idiot bumping into you and spilling all your stuff

Well Naruto ain’t letting it slide and confronts the person

Whatever stage of life you guys are at, this will go sorta different

Yet weirdly the same-

If you guys are younger, like when team 7 is still the og team 7

Then he’d be stubborn and be really confrontational- going as far as insulting the person and ordering them to help pick your stuff up (whether they do it or not- I can’t say)

If you’re older/mid teens then he’s the same honestly 😭

No matter what he’d still have this “dumb” air around him and don’t think I’m saying it as a bad thing

Because it really is endearing

He’ll always have your back

This was all to say that he’s pretty protective of you

Not when it comes to fighting all that much cuz you probably have it covered (though he’d still be there)

But mostly just when someone disrespects you

Also he’s so sweet

He’ll try to bring you traditional gifts like chocolates or substitute that with something else you like

He’ll always present it to you bashfully and hope that you’ll accept

Despite the fact that you’re literally with him?? Hello?

Also please just indulge him when going to Ichiraku ramen for dates or lunch

Most times he does try to make it up to you if you don’t like those types of dates

Also when it comes to affection, it does take a while for him to fully accept it

He’d definitely be surprised by it and fluster a bit

Eventually he does like physical affection- quite a lot actually

He’ll specifically scout you out for a hug or even to ruffle his hair

Just do it, we all know how touch starved he is

Jealousy wise I’d imagine two different scenarios too

The first is that it’s super obvious that he’s jealous 😭

It’s all over his face and he’s being mean (?) to the person that’s all over you (or not, maybe just someone attractive that’s around you a lil too much)

He’d be pouting too

During this time Sakura or any onlookers at all really, would tell him to cut it out cuz of his more than obvious attitude (second hand embarrassment 4 them)

He’d be sort of immature too

Mocking the person and wondering if they’re really better than him

This is all obvious to you so you’d probably be the first to bring it up

Not that Naruto is bad at communication just that he didn’t think of it

The other way he acts is not jealous- that’s only because he’s oblivious to the other persons advances on you

So he’d be all chill w this person and nice and stuff

And this person is just confused on why blud is okay with it 😭

Sakura Haruno

She’s literally the best person to date ever

She’s also really shy when you start dating

Not like she’s afraid to be affectionate because she really does want to be, but sometimes she gets a bit bashful at the idea

When she decides to be bold and hold your hand or even goes for a hug -

If you even slightly tease her she’ll definitely give you a serving of her iconic punch- straight to the face too 😭

Scratch that, she’ll throw an uppercut

Despite this comedic scene, once you hug her back she’ll feel touched and it just becomes a sweet moment for the two of you

Most moments with her tend to follow the same pattern as above

Gift wise she’ll definitely be the type of person to make you sweet home made stuff or even goes as far as buying treats or stuff she knows you’ll enjoy

Shed be flustered when she gives it to you and maybe a bit tsundere if Naruto or Ino is there to tease her for it

She’d likely give it to you later in the evening when she knows you’re not too busy

Despite the fact that you’re lit together

And that’s when she gives it to you

The only way to react is being overjoyed at the gift and hugging her or giving her some affection, I don’t make the rules

And if you decide for this to be your first kiss? Inner sakura would definitely be there totally pumped up while irl she’s acting all like a “shy�� girl 😭

After having been walked home by you and closed the front door, she would definitely celebrate the new achievement

Now when it comes to what Sakura expects of you, just be the bare minimum

I swear I can’t emphasize this enough, just be a decent person

Even though we all know she deserves more

Make sure to gift her stuff in return too, not just lousy stuff but something you know she’ll cherish

Doesn’t even have to be expensive just something you know she’ll like, even then it wouldn’t hurt for it to have been costly

She’s always thinking of you too

You’re on her mind literally every waking hour

She walks home after a busy day and walks by a stall/store window and sees something you might like? She figures it wouldn’t hurt to buy it

She’s deciding what to eat? She’ll go out of her way to get something you can both share/ something of bigger portion just to have an excuse to sit with you

Not even something she has to do since her presence alone is a gift

She’s so beautiful too

And when you tell her, either by just slipping up because you were too entranced by her- she’ll be super flustered and try to play it off as a joke or you being “weird”

She’ll definitely go to sleep thinking about it though

Twirling her hair and kicking her feet and all

Eventually dates are in order

I won’t lie, Sakura would definitely want you to take her out first

She’s not even opposed to taking you out for a meal and paying either

She just prefers for you to first

Whether it’s for reassurance or preference- well it’s really unclear

Anyways, you end up taking her to a nice restaurant with plenty of choices

She doesn’t mind if it’s a small or quiet one either

Just as long as it’s with you

I do think Sakura would be the jealous type, try to hide it, but then fail miserably

Let me explain

Let’s say a person comes up to you- or even someone you’re assigned to protect is being awfully flirty

Well she’ll be as calm as she can be but it’s so obvious with her harsh actions that she’s fuming

Inner Sakura definitely shows that too

She doesn’t blame it on you or anything so that’s good but she’d still be pissed

It’s super funny too because Naruto would be terrified of interacting with her because then she’ll just take it out on him

And Sai? Yea he doesn’t gaf, he’ll still approach her

Even if it ends in him be wrangled and Naruto joining in

Naruto just because he was nearby*

This behavior doesn’t stop until the person leaves

Afterwards Sakura just doesn’t like the person at all 😭

Sasuke Uchiha

Og nonchalant

Or not???

Really depends with him because he sort of has mood swings

On one hand he’s really focused on his goal of restoring his clan and yknow the whole Itachi bit

(Not really a mood swing)

But he can’t deny that you’ve captured his heart

Plus, with him and his behavior- you’re likely super stubborn or hella in love

Probably both

I mean you’re already dating at this point but nothing really changes much

He’s pretty straightforward but with information that’s private- he keeps it that way

It’s pretty sad (?) in a way

At first it could definitely come off as him not liking you point blank

But when you really think about it you know that can’t be the case

You’re like the only person he’s ever even slightly been nice to

Honestly I’d believe it if you’re the only one amongst the Konoha residents that has seen sasuke laugh or smile

Up to a certain point)

He may be cold and distant but he doesn’t mean to be

He realizes that too the more you go into your relationship

So he tries not to be so emotionally constipated and tries to show you in subtle ways that, yes, he actually does care

Quite a lot honestly

Not really subtle though because it’s a stark difference between how he normally acts

By the time sasuke has the courage to hold your hand- it’s by the time where couples would normally have been doing much more

Honestly really depends when you date him too

Because if your relationship starts at teams 7 era

No it didn’t, he’s too clouded by getting revenge to actually act on it

Maybe, just maybe during shippuden

Even then he’s extremely difficult and hard to be around sometimes

And if you’re together, his behavior could definitely be a dealbreaker and cause some fights in your relationship

Patience is definitely required if you wanna go down the sasuke route 😮‍💨

I know I said previously that sasuke is really distant for a good while even with you

but eventually, gradually, he does open up more

Like about his past, his motivations, private and more vulnerable stuff like that

Now without the angsty-ish hcs, interacting with sasuke affectionately also has varied reactions

More often than not he’ll be, what can best be described as, tsundere

You could try and hug him while he’s overthinking but he’ll just shrink away

- a reaction that shows you he doesn’t feel like being touched

Obviously it’s a boundary that’s respected by you but it could also cause you to feel upset too

Then, after he shrinks away you look up to him

more specifically his face

Immediately you can see blush dusted on his cheeks

He gets easily flustered by interactions like this, I mean I can’t even imagine how touch starved he is

Now comes the rare occasion where he’s fine with it

Even leans into your touch

It’s pretty rare but sometimes he’s just exhausted and craves your touch

What can I say

Jealousy wise he’s terrible

He’s extremely jealous but tries to act like he isn’t bothered by what’s happening at all

Might even distance himself even more from you if he feels jealous

Could even spiral to him overthinking and feeling like his attachment to you is a weakness

Which quickly disappears because then he goes over to you and yanks you away from the person in question

Also did I forget to mention? DONT TEASE HIM

I can emphasize this enough

Hugging him for the first time in a while and he accepts? Don’t say anything

Same with this

I know people usually like to tease their partners with “awww you’re jealous?” But that’s just antagonizing him

Causes him to trust you less too so a definite ‘not’

Also extremely possessive over you

Like he’s usually hostile to others for no reason but if you’re being targeted then he’s definitely pissed off

Especially if someone thinks they can even try to make moves on you

Definitely takes a lot of patience but just dont pity him I guess (?) 😭

If you’re caring or try to be sympathetic with him he’ll mistake it for pity so yea

He gets more comfortable as the relationship becomes more serious

[sage--mode]

Naruto characters toxic traits (totally not ironic):

Naruto: has one of those mom heart tattoos but instead of it saying mom it says ichiraku Sakura: stress cuts her hair and thats why the lengths/styles are always changing Sasuke: regularly eggs Hiruzen's house once a week and never gets caught cause Naruto emancipated him Sai: has one dance move for parties and its the worm Kiba: wears knockoff colognes from the local pharmacy Shino: sobbed through a viewing of A Bug's Life and had a crush on princess atta as a kid Hinata: only listens to Owl City and nothing else ever Ino: will not pay on the first date and will dump you if you suggest doing 50/50 bc who tf do you think you are?? Shikamaru: unironically listens to yummy by justin bieber Chouji: will gatekeep his favorite restaurants if he thinks you're unworthy of the food Neji: an old man who feeds birds at the park alone sitting on a bench Tenten: offers 5$ ear piercings at her shop with a piercing gun she bought off craigslist Rock Lee: flirts with girls by reciting sonnets while breakdancing Gaara: all of his passwords are password Temari: when she misses Suna she will roll in sand like hamsters do Kankuro: ringtone is master of puppets by metallica and it will also be the music for his funeral Kakashi: temporarily banned from Inuzuka grounds because he kept distracting the ninja hounds from their training with his baby voice Itachi: heard I'm with you by avril lavigne playing on the intercom and fell to his knees in walmart Gai: has a patent on the fabric that makes up his jumpsuit Iruka: goes to bed every night in this iconic fit

[grimmcheems]

When the pale flower grows thorns🌸🥀🩸

A SasuHina AU where Hinata later on joins Orochimaru’s group. Everyone still treats Hinata as fragile and docile and her family mistreats her more the older she gets. Sasuke convinces Orochimaru of a vague plan to acquire another member that has rare abilities like him, never telling him it’s someone he personally knew or that she’s from one of the leaf village’s prominent families.

Rather than have her talents wasted and not allowed the proper time and space to grow, Sasuke secretly converses with Hinata while she’s out on a mission in an attempt to have her join him. (‼️⚠️Yapping below⚠️‼️)

She does end up taking his offer later on and leaves her family in disarray because she leaves Neji with family secrets about the family seal and leaves him to be the family heir.

I did have a bit sketched of Itachi making a joke about the two when they were kids and thus leading to them being engaged/betrothed by their mothers decisions but left it out because it was too much to fit in here. I also had a portion where Hinata painfully removes Neji’s curse mark and him fearing her for a moment and seeing her potential in that small moment before being left to pick up the pieces of their family.

They knew/met each other as children in this since they are both part of important clans in the village and their parents maintained connections with them. Hinata was usually too busy to be around/play with Sasuke and Itachi since her father and family used most of their time to train her, resulting in Sasuke mainly watching her train and her even sparring with Itachi at times (and losing, much to her father’s dismay).

Their moms have them be verbally betrothed as a small joke amongst the older members in their families, but Hinata’s father was not happy with it (since he views her unworthy until she can start acting and moving like a proper ninja of the clan) but didn’t care for it and lets them pretend about it. Sasuke’s family just thinks it’s cute and pay it no mind but occasionally feel sorry for Hinata seeing how she’s worked to the bone to become the clan heir. They do have certain expectations for Sasuke as well but view the Hyuuga’s methods as overkill in some areas. Also Itachi is the eldest so Sasuke doesn’t rly understand what the clan heirs have to put up with most of the time as he’s given more freedoms.

ANYWAYSSS

Hinata basically has had enough of the mistreatment and being underestimated and never being taken seriously so she’d rather turn to them so that she doesn’t have anything holding her back from improving herself and no longer needing to seek constant approval from anybody. Yknow, something like, she never gets to do anything she wants and constantly feels suffocated from having no control over anything she can/can’t do. Her family is so controlling that even if she finds ways in which she can get better she can’t use them because the clan is stubborn in the ways they want her to portray herself and act as a ninja.

I did add goofy bits of Orochimaru commenting on their hair. He cuts Hinata’s to be layered to give her a more mature look, and he hates how Sasuke never changes his lmao.

I kinda feel like making a art of Itachi being so big brother coded towards these two that when he sees Sasuke he’s surprised (bc duh he’s with the bad guys now and he was such a kind hearted baby) but upon seeing Hinata he is proud to see her take something for herself and be able to pave her own way. Idk lmao. I had fun drawing this and like the way I used some of the brushes.

Btw I plan to not have these two interact with each other with romantic intentions in mind but have those feelings sort of progress naturally amongst each other. She also does still have her crush on Naruto in this but realizes it’s not rly gonna go anywhere so she decides it’s best to forget about him and move on, especially with the fact that her lifestyle will become different.

[literaila]

Hey, I don’t know what you make of love triangles but I’ve always wondered how Typical Family would look like if reader once had a “not so obvious” crush on Geto and the two almost looked like a couple except Geto only saw her as a friend and Satoru doesn’t actually start to “see” reader until he sees how broken up she is after Geto’s betrayal. Kind of looks like the thing between Sasuke/Sakura/Naruto (ahem Except Sakura takes the less toxic path). You don’t have to indulge in this nor does it have to be canon to your original story but I’m just curious 🌚

now i dont think satoru was ever jealous of suguru because 1. suguru is all-knowing and 2. suguru is a literal big brother to you and there is only platonic admiration there.

but. you know who satoru is jealous of? nanami kento.

okay, there’s really no arguing—the boy needs a haircut.

he also needs to stop letting you hang off of him, and taking you out to dinner (because you find his interest in food a bit bizarre, and funny), and making you laugh all of the goddamn time.

satoru may be the strongest, the prettiest—but he has the disadvantage of being older than you. it’s not often yaga sends the two of you somewhere together—or any of the first years with the seconds.

and it’s just not fair, okay?

the only reason you even train with satoru is because he’s the only person who can see your technique, the only one who has a fair fight.

in fact, the only reason satoru gets to hang out with you at all is because you like everyone else. your classmates like suguru and shoko—and tolerate satoru.

and maybe it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth when he sees you standing a little bit too close to nanami. maybe it makes him feel like his world could collapse—disappear—right in front of him.

he does not want to endure being subjected to your schoolgirl crush on a boy who can’t even be bothered to cut his hair. and what would you see in him anyway? are brown eyes preferable to his outer-worldly blue ones? is satoru’s hair just not yellow enough?

…is nanami your type?

all of this to say, it’s definitely not satoru’s fault that he just accidentally threw nanami across the courtyard.

it’s the boys fault, obviously, for daring you to wish him good luck, for saying something so funny before they began that his smug face is still so pleased from making you laugh.

it’s not satoru’s fault.

but he does realize his mistake when instead of aweing over him like he’d wanted—you rush to nanami.

satoru is standing there, a rare frown on his face, looking down at his hands like they’re going to give him some answers.

“are you taking your anger out on the first years, now?” suguru asks, dryly, looking over to where you’re checking nanami’s pupillary response.

“don’t know what you’re talking about,” satoru grumbles, feeling even more betrayed.

what does that kid offer than he can’t?

“you know you could just talk to her, right? you don’t need to beat nanami up to prove a point.”

“if he wasn’t so weak i wouldn’t have—“

and then you’re walking back to them, nanami’s arm slung over your back as you half carry him. his face is already puffing up. “where’s shoko?”

you give him a look with unbridled rage. satoru can already feel the scolding coming on.

“i think she had a meeting with yaga, or something,” satoru answers, giving you his best innocent look.

it does nothing.

suguru inspects nanami. “do you need help?”

“no,” you frown at the boy hanging on you and sigh. “i’m taking him to the infirmary. i don’t know where yu went, but if you see him will you tell him that we left?”

“sure.”

suguru nudges satoru. “uh, yeah. we’ll tell him.”

you nod sternly at them both. “thank you.”

and then you’re walking away, even closer to nanami than you were before.

satoru is already pouting. it doesn’t take much.

“you’re stupid, you know that?”

“he asked me to—!”

“he wanted to learn. not get a concussion for no reason.”

satoru waves a hand. “he wont even remember it tomorrow.”

suguru is smirking at him, looking like he knows something that satoru doesn’t. “because he has brain damage?”

“because shoko will heal him.”

suguru only shakes his head. “i’m going to find haibara. he probably got lost again.”

satoru nods but remains there, with his arms crossed.

seriously, nanami kento of all people?

*

meanwhile, you’re lugging kento up onto one of the tables in the infirmary, feeling like you should’ve forced gojo to carry him the whole way.

you would’ve—if the sight of him didn’t make you want to rip your hair out.

…for a multitude of reasons, of course.

“okay. you okay? how’s your head?”

“bruised.”

you snort, pushing his hair back so you can see the black eye that’s already developing. at least it won’t get the chance to turn purple, you think.

“i’m sorry. i don’t know why gojo did that.”

kento laughs, leaning again away from your hand. you wonder if it’s his possible concussion, or if what you said was really all that funny.

you’ve only gotten him to laugh like… three times.

“you can tell him that i’m not interested in stealing you away.”

“gojo?”

he nods.

“why would i tell him that?”

nanami’s eyes closed. he looks like he’s aged years in the last hour. “are you naturally ignorant, or are you trying to distract me?”

you cross your arms. “what do you mean?”

“whatever’s going on between you and that white haired freak, just leave me out of it.”

“going on? there’s nothing going on. gojo is just an idiot—“

“seems like it’s spreading.”

“are you sure you’re okay, ken? i think you’re going crazy.”

nanami sighs. you can practically see his eyes rolling under his eyelids. “where’s shoko?”

you look around, biting your lip. “i don’t know… i thought she’d be here by now. i’ll go check the classrooms.”

he nods.

“don’t fall asleep, okay? i mean it.”

“just hurry.”

and you turn around the door, more questions running through your head than when you walked in.

*

satoru is still standing there, contemplating his life choices (of which there have been few) when you’re running back across the courtyard.

but you slow as you near him, your eyes filled with intent.

and maybe he was waiting for this.

“you asshole,” you say, hitting him on the shoulder—which he allows because any moment of you touching him is one that satoru wants to savor. “what were you thinking?”

he stands there, completely still, for just a moment more. you’re here now. with him. who’s with nanami then?

still, he shrugs. “i just forgot how weak he was.”

“oh, you forgot? you forgot that it was training and kento isn’t some special grade curse you—“

“is he dead?”

“what? why would you say that?”

“if he was really a special grade curse he’d already be dead.”

“you’re so arrogant,” you grind out, shaking your head at him. “and reckless! kento probably has a concussion.”

“then why aren’t you looking after him?”

“i—what?”

“why are you here yelling at me,” satoru gestures to himself, a grin forming on his face. “instead of making sure that he’s okay?”

“i—“ your mouth opens. then closes. “i went to go look for shoko and i didn’t think that you…” you shake your head again, frowning.

satoru just smiles at you.

he likes you a bit flushed and angry anyway.

“stop smiling at me like that!”

“what? i’m not allowed to smile now?”

“no. after today you’re not allowed to do anything. you’re lucky i’m such a good person or else you’d be six feet under—“

“you expect me to believe that you would actually kill me?”

“if i didn’t have a moral obligation, yes.”

satoru laughs.

“shut up,” you say, hitting him again. “i’m angry enough that i could do it.”

he shakes his head, slinging his arm around your shoulder. he has to make up for all of the time that nanami got to cling to you—has to repossess this, or he might go insane.

“that’s not why i’m laughing.”

“get off of me.”

“you wouldn’t kill me,” satoru whispers, right in your ear, delighting in a shiver that you can’t hold back. “even if you could. you like me too much to do it.”

you push him off of you, scowling. “i do not like you—“ you insist, only slightly breathless. “you just beat up my friend for no reason.”

“friend?”

you scoff, crossing your arms and looking up at satoru like he’s a demon sent straight from hell—just to torment you.

have you ever looked at nanami like that?

no, satoru thinks, you haven’t.

“yes, friend,” you repeat, rolling your eyes, “i know you’re unfamiliar with the concept but really. why is everyone acting so weird today?”

satoru’s grin is almost blinding. there’s no one else you get so worked up over. no one else who you would pause just to yell at.

“c’mon,” he says, instead of answering. he pushes himself back onto you, pulling you close by your waist. “i’ll look for shoko with you. you can tell me about how much you like me on the way.”

“gojo satoru, i will still murder you—“

[animeomegas]

i think that uchiha omegas are vain without realizing it. for the clan it is not about fitting into the omega stereotypes that are fashionable at the time, but beauty is a type of power, certain physical features are highly valued because they are representations of the purity of the lineage. many of their beauty and makeup rituals are even excessive for other traditional clans and i find the mental image so funny. just imagine massacre au itachi looking at his little brother, his beautiful little brother omega, a pure uchiha, with slightly damaged hair and clean, short nails but not with the usual intricate patterns. he is disturbed both because it is his fault that sasuke knows almost nothing about those traditions and because he fights against the maternal instinct to clean him up and make him worthy of standards that he was raised.

This is such a beautiful ask omg, and I adore it with all my being! 🥰

I love the idea that Uchiha teach all their omegas (and probably the other dynamics too honestly) about make up, fashion, haircare etc. but with the idea that beauty is power. Their clan is beautiful, and that's part of their power and allure.

It's all practical stuff too. Here's my ideas for Uchiha clan beauty standards:

Nails should be short, but beautifully painted.

Hair should be well conditioned with expensive, but crucially scentless, hair products.

Skincare is important. (Uchiha dermatologist specialists, ahh! Non-shinobi members would for sure have the option to specialise in wellness chemistry.)

Clothing is expensive, and stunning. Traditional, but with just the right amount of cutting edge, because they aren't boring like the Hyuuga.

Grace is taught through dance, which Uchiha perform at their traditional festivals.

And Itachi being raised with all this, is intimately familiar with the rituals. He has to paint his nails for the Akatsuki, but they're done so much better than everyone else's. He still knows all the dances, although he doesn't perform them.

And you're so right, Itachi would be unnerved seeing Sasuke without any of that grooming that he would have been expected to do. He was too young for make up when the clan was slaughtered, and he'd only had his nails done by other people so he doesn't know how to do it himself.

He's probably also forgotten all the dances, and outgrown all his formal wear. He definitely doesn't bother with expensive shampoo or skincare.

He doesn't look like an Uchiha should. And Itachi realises in that moment, that even if Sasuke had countless children and revived the clan, the traditions are probably already lost forever. They will quite literally die with Itachi.

I'm imagining Itachi daydreaming about getting to paint Sasuke's nails for him, and performing the special heir dance with him at festivals. When he's face to face with Sasuke, because his mind is struggling to cope with the situation, he finds himself fixating on wanting to wash and brush Sasuke's hair properly. Because it doesn't look right.

This headcanon is perfect. Just the right amount of world building, Uchiha arrogance, and angst.

Here are my questions if anyone wants to jump in:

What sort of nail designs are popular and why?

How does this impact wedding ceremonies?

What kind of special dance rituals or dress up rituals would the heirs have to go through? Did Itachi and Sasuke do it?

How would Itachi and Sasuke feel about this in a non-massacre AU?

[carmenserenity123456]

Sakura copies Sasuke’s hair when he is around

Some time ago I was answering the question about Sakura’s outfits and how she chooses them when Sasuke is around. Today we will focus on her hair because clearly she was changing and copping it for/from Sasuke

1. Sakura starting as a ninja wore her hair short which was probably like she liked it and Ino even encouraged her to do the parting but when she started crushing on Sasuke suddenly she was growing her hair because of one rumor that we do not even know if it was true. She wore her long hair for a long time just for him. Even some other ninja who did not know her mocked her about it. So Sakura as a drama delusional queen decided to cut it which would symbolize her change mostly about Sasuke but was that the case? no, she did not change a bit about her personality and her selfish desire for Sasuke.

2. Most of the Naruto, Sasuke is away so Sakura kept her hair short and very similar to when she was a child which is how she liked it from the beginning but during the war arc Sasuke comes back with some bangs and right away, in the middle of the war, Sakura has similar, even the same bangs like him. Like girl when did you have time to style it but this is Sakura right.

3. After the war Sakura is seen still with the same bangs like Sasuke but she also started to grow her hair again for him because of that rumor. How immature and obsessed can you be? This also proves that cutting her hair during chunin did not mean nothing for her. It was just for her delusional moment.

4. Sakura must have kept her hair long for a long time even when she decided to chase Sasuke because in the Gaiden when Sarada is maybe 4-5 years old she has really long hair. The Last movie Sakura, novels Sakura and some artworks when she is shown with short hair during that time is not canon so we can conclude that she kept her very long hair for Sasuke probably thinking that he will come back soon but ups it did not happen and she had to chase him again.

5. Finally the side part. We don’t know when Sasuke started to do the side part to his hair but we know that Sakura also started to wear it as a young mom in Gaiden after chasing Sasuke and picture above shows it. She has the side part even at the same side like him. She also decided to cut her hair short again in the similar fashion like Sasuke but I also want to point out that she might actually do it for herself this time considering that Sasuke was not around for 12 years so she, as I said in one of my answers, can actually do something for herself when he is not around but she still kept this side part because of her obsession.

Summing up, this is again one of the creepiest, immature and obsessive behaviour from Sakura. She is always fake around Sasuke and she will always be like that because even if she wanted to change for herself she can’t because her obsession is sick.

[anonymousewrites]

Of Two Worlds Halloween Special 2024

Fushiguro Megumi x Half-Curse! Reader

Halloween Special

            “Gojo-sensei, tell me why again we had to dress up to go on a mission?” said Nobara.

            “Because it’s Halloween, and we might as well have fun!” said Gojo, grinning.

            “We’re on a mission. You should take it seriously,” said Nanami.

            “Absolutely not! This is going to be easy. There are always more curses on Halloween, so it’s just cleaning up a bit,” said Gojo. “And I can’t take you seriously in that.”

            An irk mark appeared on Nanami’s forehead. “You’re the one who shoved me into this costume.”

            “You dressed all of us up,” said Megumi, deadpan.

            “I like the costumes!” said Itadori. “We all match.”

            “Who wants to match with him?” said Maki, hands on her hips.

            “Why am I this character?” said (Y/N).

            “Because you don’t show emotions,” said Gojo cheerfully.

            He had planned—unbeknownst to everyone—a group costume. They were all Naruto characters. He was, of course, Kakashi—white hair and blindfold did it all for him. Poor Nanami had been stuffed into a Gai costume that didn’t fit his personality but entertained Gojo. Itadori was super excited about his costume because he got to be Naruto—who better than the upbeat boy with the demon inside of him? Nobara was Sakura, and she wore pink well (the temper also matched, and if Gojo didn’t have infinity, Nobara would have swung for him by now). Maki was Tsunade, powerful and strong, which was the only reason she hadn’t also tried to hit Gojo yet. Megumi had a Sasuke costume on (by Gojo’s logic, his “emo son” should play Sauke), Finally, (Y/N) wore a Sai costume, which was, as Gojo said, due to her general misunderstanding of emotions and lack of expressiveness.

            “If that’s how we’re deciding things, you should be Gai since you’re the optimistic idiot,” said Megumi, deadpan.

            Gojo pouted. “Now that’s just mean, Megumi! Don’t talk to your sensei that way.”

            “I’m getting in character,” said Megumi.

            “If you’re done having your fun, Gojo-sensei, can we get to the mission?” said Maki.

            “Fiiiiine,” said Gojo. “You all know your jobs, go and get to hunting! First one to finish their section of the city wins candy!”

l

            “Trick or treat—”

            (Y/N)’s katana cut through a curse. She pivoted instantly and slashed at another.

            “Braiiin—”

            Megumi’s Shikigami wolves jumped up and tore the curse apart before it could step towards (Y/N).

            “We’ve cleared out section,” said Megumi. He tsked. “Why do people set up scare events? All they do is create more negative energy.”

            “They don’t know that,” said (Y/N). Non-sorcerers were clueless to the danger they put themselves in when they intentionally scared themselves.

            “Yeah,” sighed Megumi. “Makes more trouble for us.” He glanced at his phone. “It’s not too late in the night.”

            “Do we think we’re first?” said (Y/N).

            “Gojo is always first,” said Megumi. “He’ll eat all his candy himself.” He glanced at her. “I was thinking we could go to the street vendors and get some food there. We can pretend we’re normal for a bit.”

            “Are we not?” said (Y/N).

            “Definitely not,” said Megumi. This life of being a sorcerer and fighting curses was all they knew, but it was definitely not what most would consider normal. “But we can pretend.”

            “And do what?” said (Y/N). “We eat already.”

            Megumi smiled slightly. “Pretend we don’t have problems. We don’t have curses. Just us.”

            “Us,” repeated (Y/N). Her gaze went to Megumi’s eyes, and she nodded. “I like that. Us.”

            Megumi felt his heart flip over in his chest. (Y/N) said it so evenly, as if it was a fact, and his feelings for her just couldn’t take it.

            He cleared his throat. “Let’s go.”

            (Y/N) nodded.

l

            (Y/N) sipped on boba as she and Megumi walked through the crowds. Lots of people were dressed up, some were jumping out to scare others, and everyone had large smiles. In so much happiness, it was hard to believe that this night would create a myriad of new curses that could harm people. And yet, it was true.

            Beauty and pain were two sides of the same coin, it seemed.

            However, for just a little bit, Megumi and (Y/N) could just be together. They could just be themselves. They could be them.

            “(Y/N).”

            She looked over at Megumi as he said her name. Her attention was an invitation to continue.

            “Thank you,” said Megumi.

            She tilted her head, questioning his words.

            “For spending time with me.” Megumi paused, swallowing the deeper words that wished to come out. “You make me feel—at home. It’s easy to be around you.”

            “It’s easy to be around you, Megumi. You don’t judge me.” The words were simple and plain, but they were the honest truth. (Y/N) did not mince her words.

            Megumi smiled slightly. His hand, almost subconsciously, reached out slightly.

Taglist:

@snowy-violet

@tsukikoxo

[brokencages]

explaining my bpd neji headcanon

this started out as a self projecting hc for a modern au and then it spiraled and now i have a lot to say! sorry if it's incoherent and rambly that is simply who i am.

he displays a lot of symptoms common in (though not exclusive to) bpd. a pattern of unstable relationships, an unstable sense of self/identity issues, trouble managing anger, black and white thinking, fear of abandoment, self harming or suicidal behaviors etc. more under cut cuz this is long lol

first off is his black and white worldview in part 1. he believed in predetirmined fate and that you could do nothing to change it. he uses very extreme words, which i highlighted below, like never, always, unchangable, inevitable, useless, etc. all leaving no room for grey areas or other possibilities, even if deep down he doesn't believe it completely.

he cares for hinata but due to his views and his anger against the upper branch, it 'outweighs'/overshadows the good and he lashes out against her, this is reminiscant of splitting to me. the times we see him lashing out at her violently that had to be stopped by others were impulsive also, split seconds brusts of anger.

he has very little sense of self. from philosophy of fate being predetermined and unchanging, growing up in the lower branch being told his purpose is to protect hinata, and this scene:

it makes sense, it doesn't matter who he is or how he sees himself, since that never spared him or his father. he clings to the label of prodigy, which reminds me of when i struggle with my own sense of self, i latch onto a certain way i'm percieved or a character (cough cough neji).

his role is a genius and he will fulfill that, his role is in the lower branch and he will not escape that, and naruto's role is to lose, and he will not escape that. except when naruto didn't lose and that shattered his whole worldview.

when he previously devalued naruto, hinata, and lee for being weak and trying to defy fate, he was not only called out for doing the same (yk his projection/hypocrisy), but proven wrong, which led him to deeply respecting and idealizing naruto, swinging between the two extremes.

abandonment issues are kind of harder since they're not really shown, but the trauma lf losing his dad very likely resulted in that. so. and something that could be connected to it also is how he feels about weakness:

he's strong, and he's valued because of it. with what he said about how you must live in the boundaries of the judgements set by others and how he avoids being seen as weak, that could him not wanting to be abandoned if he's ever seen that way or if he goes beyond the boundaries of what others see.

during the kidomaru fight he also goes to great lengths to win, which yk happens in all the fights, but he also brings up how he can't lose BECAUSE he's a genius. he was fighting for his friends and naruto (and sasuke... sasuneji sneak...) but i think it's interesting how he still brings this up.

(btw i love the kidomaru fight so much btw it's one of my favourite fights because of neji's development and the scenes where his hair is all loose and when the bird flies overhead and the feather lands in his hand)

now onto self harming or suicidal behaviors! as far as i know it's a common sentiment that his death was suicide, and i agree. while it was to protect hinata and naruto you can't tell me he wasn't atleast a little suicidal T_T he believes that the only fate we share is death, and knows the only way to be rid of the caged bird seal is to die, that's a pretty easy road to suicidal ideation and one i personally relate to. with my chronic illness and mental health issues, i'd only be rid of them if i died, which did lead me to being suicidal and actually attempting.

okay i dont know how to end this but i think those are my big major points. looking at the diagnostic criteria for bpd he hits most. stress related paranoia or loss of contact with reality/dissociation is just an easy headcanon even if its not shown in canon.

okay bye ty for reading 🤍🤍🤍

[socra-time]

Naruto Episode Comments, Ep 31-40

Ep 31:

-again, I like that other characters are doing the title voiceover instead of Naruto (it’s Lee this time)

-god the writer is really doing Sakura so fucking dirty

-I love Lee so much, he’s my cringefail but also badass son

-Neji was NOT having any of Team 10’s bullshit

-the way Sakura says Lee’s full name makes it sound like she’s saying “broccoli”

-I like that even though Neji is kinda an edgelord and clearly looks down on others, he’s still more cooperative with his team than Sasuke is. It’s clear that he’s more experienced than Sasuke

-at this point Lee has had two fights and Sakura has still had zero. Justice for Sakura

Ep 32:

-finally Sakura gets to do something hoorayyyy. -The hair-cutting moment was nice actually

-little Ino’s hair is so cute, she should’ve kept it short

-why do Ino and Sakura have more of a compelling relationship than Sakura and Sasuke do lmao

Ep 33:

-the soundtrack switchup into more upbeat music was kinda jarring ngl

-I love how Shikamaru and Choji don’t even object to Ino calling their team “Team Ino”

-Shikamaru’s shadow possession is one of the cooler powers we’ve seen so far, I’m curious to see if there’s anything besides immobilization he can do with it

-aw I actually like Team 10 more than I thought I would

-I love how it’s this big deal that Sasuke was going to kill someone when a couple episodes ago Kiba, Shino, and Hinata literally trapped people with man-eating leeches

Ep 34:

-Lee is so pure of heart, dumb of ass. I feel like I might not have liked him as much if I watched this show as a kid but I actually adore him

-awwww the kiddos are bonding

-Neji needs to get his antisocial ass down from the trees and talk to the others

-Akamaru is such a lil babyyyyyyy I wanna give him hug

-Kiba wanting to steal more scrolls has its pros and cons but he’s kinda right? As people with good tracking abilities, Team 8 kinda has an advantage in this phase of the exam, so they might as well press that advantage and pick off a bit of the competition

-lmao not Kiba calling Gaara tiny-

-the implications of Kiba smelling blood in Gaara’s sand are so fucked-up. Like he’s killed so many people with the sand that there’s just blood mixed in there

-Jesus fucking Christ Gaara

-Gaara has officially won the edgelord competition and it’s not even close

Ep 35:

-I fully thought the Heaven and Earth scrolls would be blank ngl

-Naruto and Sakura should have consulted with Sasuke before deciding to open their scroll, it should have been a team decision

-Naruto really sucks at all aspects of being a ninja that don’t involve duking it out with enemies

Ep 36:

-I like the muffled vocal effect on the illusions guy

-Naruto is one tenacious fucker lmao

-and Sasuke continues to not be able to catch a break

Ep 37:

-Iruka is so fond of Naruto and it’s so cute

-Lee and Gai continue to be peak characters

-this government system sounds kinda sus ngl

Ep 38:

-there were a lot of “secret” conversations in this episode that were in blatant earshot of other people. Like Anko was literally yelling at Kakashi about how dangerous the curse mark was in front of all the genin

-I don’t think I like that Sasuke goes in the first match, it cuts some of the hype buildup

-and as usual Sasuke can’t catch a fuckin break

Ep 39:

-to the surprise of absolutely no one, Sasuke won

-the sharingan is so fucking broken and ngl if I had to work super hard to train my jutsu and then here comes Sasuke fucking Uchiha who just… copies it, I’d be pissed as hell

-Sasuke really should have told Naruto about the curse mark. Like he says it’s because they’re a team and he doesn’t want Naruto to worry, but also they’re a team so he should TELL HIS TEAMMATES what’s going on with him

-the theme that plays when Orochimaru reveals himself to Kakashi goes so hard

Ep 40:

-Shino is so fucking cool but also I would never ever ever want to fight him

-“Orochimaru stop taking advantage of vulnerable hurt children by offering them power” challenge: failed epically

[kankuroplease]

hello! i must say, i adore your work! and how are you?? how would the uchiha brothers be as fathers? <3

Thank you! I’m doing alright, I hope you’re doing well 🖤

Disclaimer: I’ll reject canon events for fun and also because I strongly believe most of the canon Uchiha’s would be great papas

Sasuke

Starting controversial here

Him not seeing or spending time his child for years?? Nope. I reject the notion, IMMEDIATELY

Idk who that man is in Burrito, but Sasuke would be there for his kid while still “redeeming himself” not that he should have to but that’s another argument for another day that I don’t feel like having

He’s a damn UCHIHA that can basically TELEPORT like?? So you just want to do him that wrong for what? Whyyyy

Anyways, probably has a special stuffy he swaps places with in the kid’s nursery

It’s a whole magic trick to his child that never gets old

zip zap, daddy’s home and baby is giggling, reaching for him

Not saying he’d wake them up on purpose if he arrives and they’ve fallen asleep

But he’d definitely try to hold their hand and poke their cheek a little and would chuckle to himself when they furl their brows

Looking like him when they do that

This man has no clue what he’s doing at first tho

Babies are complicated and he’s never had to be delicate with someone like this, help?

He’s not going to actually ask for help, just look pleadingly at his partner or Itachi

He doesn’t baby talk his child and would discourage the others from doing it

Once the child is out of the baby baby phase. He’s got this

Will talk to them about their ‘so bad it’s cute’ art and want to hear about all their little ideas

Nearly cried when they said “your the best, dad ever” because he doesn’t agree but at the same time his kid doesn’t care about his flaws

Takes said artwork with him on missions along with his favorite photo of them

Will have beef with a 5 y.o. If he hears they’ve mistreated his kid. That little shit, Kabocha smh

Itachi

Gentle father

He takes to being a parent so naturally that you would swear he’s done it before

His kid will always come first, which might (will) be a problem for his any of his work

But assuming he’s left the Akatsuki, he’s raising his family in the countryside

Lots of family time and forehead pokes

Cuts their food up until they’re old enough to tell him to stop he’s crushed

If his child gets scared because of thunderstorms, he’d let them sleep in his bed. Might even give them a pleasant genjutsu filled with all their favorite activities to ease their worries and help them sleep

And speaking of his abilities; his sharingan? Yeah, he’s comparing their height to Sasuke’s when he was little

Will join them in their silly adventures. Lizard watching? Why not

Let’s them get away with almost anything

And that’s exactly how they would end up with a bunch of cats and chickens

He’d regret a lot of his actions in the past and that would make disciplining them tough

Hates being away from them because he feels he’s going to miss something important

Madara

All those brothers were training material, he’s beyond ready to meet his child and hold them

From day one he’s so proud of them

That first cry filled him with so much pride

His partner is definitely going to have to ask him to give them the baby

He’s going to brag about this child, his heir, future leader of the Uchiha no one can tell him otherwise

His partner will find him knocked out with their little one resting on his chest with a bunch of rolled blankets and pillows around them on nights they’re particularly fussy

They want ups, they’ll get ups and he’ll carry on with his conversation

Seriously the only man that can get his nose honked by his child in the middle of a conversation with Hashirama and act like nothing happened

Can’t help but prank his kid a bit. He can’t help himself

Definitely let the kid play with a blunt kunai before. “What? They like it.”

He takes taming their hair on skillfully if they inherited his fluffy mane

He’s not going to coddle them but if they get hurt running about, he’ll help them up and dust them off before ruffling their hair and giving them a small nod

They got this, they’re HIS child after all

Teaches them how to play shoji so they can hone their strategy skills

If they want to cry to him about their blues, he’ll listen, but he also wants them to think of how they can change what’s bothering them

Gives them exactly one warning before the kid gets to learn the hard way

Fully for letting kids be kids

But also a “did you win?” Father. Fights happen, but as the clan leader’s child, they shouldn’t be losing fights

Would snag and carry them like a sack home if they were causing problems around town

While loving parenthood, He secretly would hate them going on their first mission. He’s going to basically quiz them on different scenarios and push them in their training

If he thinks they’re not ready, he’ll tell them as much he’s also going to go to Hashirama to make sure they actually have a team that can make sure his child doesn’t die on their first mission. But shh

Kid gets a little sweetheart they’re stealing kisses around the village with? He’s disgusted

they’re still wet behind the ears wtf kid could be 18 and he’s still not going to like it

Izuna

This man was in denial that he was going to be a father until he was holding his child and was like “woah”

He’s nervous around the baby

Take it, QUICKLY

He’d warm up to them immediately once they look at them

Thinks they look hideous tho. Sorry, kid

He’ll watch as they’re changed and fed, wondering how tf these things survive when they’re so fragile

Sort of a worrywart and extremely selective of who gets to hold his kid

Smiles really warmly when his kid smiles at him

The excitement he feels when they take their first steps surprises even himself

He’s having to question who this excitable person he’s morphing into

They are the best dressed kid and he makes sure of it

Also makes sure they’re keeping up with Madara’s kids in their training

Brings them treats regularly as they grow up

Tells his kid that they are better than others

And DO NOT speak to his kid if you have a problem, speak to him directly. Unless you want a bigger problem

Don’t think for a second his child wouldn’t be his minion

They will collectively diss people over dinner and laugh about it💀

Tells them stories of when the Uchiha were rightfully leaders in their own rights before this whole Konoha BS

Uncle Madara is great, but he’s still not on board with this plan

He will coddle them a bit. It’s not that he’s trying to necessarily, he just cares too much and can’t bring himself to not protect them from everything

As long as he’s breathing he will personally insure that they’re safe at all cost

Inari

Also can’t believe he’s going be a father, but he’s excited

Very prepared for parenthood

He’s taken advice from clan elders and has a naturally warm relationship with his child

Makes them eat healthy all the time

Reads to them regularly

Loves taking them out for walks and beans with pride any time someone compliments his kid

Believes education is important and reinforces a love of learning

Genuinely gets concerned about the friends they surround themselves with

Accepts that they are their own person quickly

Teaches them basics of making medicine and how to identify herbs

Tenko

He’s talking to his kid before his partner is even showing, he’s that excited

Will poke any foot or hand he sees pushing out from said baby bump because he thinks it so amazing and a little funny when they “fight” back

He would NOT sit outside and wait for the birth like most men of the time

Yes, he will argue with a midwife or two, his partner needs him and he needs to be their

tears of joy for their new baby

Love at first sight. his kid is perfect in his eyes no matter how they arrive

Lots of kisses to their sweet little temples, hands, and feet

Thanks them for choosing him as their father and promises he’ll make their life full of laughter and love

Definitely the dad that has to carry/wear his baby everywhere

Plays with them all the time

Definitely made friend with some Aburame and Nara to make sure they have butterflies access and fun shadow access

His get will get told all the fun fairytales and get a dramatic reenactment of them as he’d dress up as one of the characters

Let’s them splash their heart out in puddles

If his kid gets sick, he’ll probably get sick too from cuddling them to sleep

Gets a little emotional when they outgrow certain things and activities

This kid has the ultimate accomplice; Tenko is not going to tattle on his kid if they didn’t do anything wrong. Heck, he is more likely to help them get away with it

Cheers for them the loudest during their training with other kids

Kota

Having a kid brings out his softer side

But send help

He’s clueless and knows he’s clueless

He’s seen battlefields and those didn’t make him nearly as nauseous as blowouts and spit up do

Is genuinely afraid he’s going to mess this kid up, so seeks advice from his brothers

He’s not very interested in trying to hold them as a newborn, but will hover over his partners shoulder to look at them

Most likely to laugh if the kid snores because, what is that?

Takes pride in his kid

Dad jokes

Another one that will have beef with a child on his kid’s behalf

Takes his time to try and understand their POV on matters

But still might argue with them if he doesn’t agree. However he will always apologize

Can’t stand seeing his kid cry and will do just about anything to cheer them up

Wants his kid to be a bit more bold than he was as a child and encourages them to speak up for themselves

He leans on the tough love side of parenting as they reach their teens if they want to act out

[akiizayoi4869]

Sakura Haruno Appreciation Post

Rewatching Naruto and reading the manga has made me feel like posting about one of my favorite characters in the series, Sakura. At first, nothing about her really stood out to me. She was the typical teenage girl who had a crush on a guy who really didn't seem to care about her at all. As time went on, though, small things about her stood out to me. Her affinity for genjutsu (something that I wished Kishimoto touched on more) and her chakra control was better than both Naruto's and Sasuke's, something that I wasn't expecting from her at all. It's not like she was much of a fighter at this point, and she needed protecting more often than not. Sakura's character didn't really start to peak for me until the chunin exams in the Forest Of Death. This scene in particular:

The moment she cut off her hair to free herself from Kin's grip, I knew that she meant business, that she would finally start taking her life as being a ninja more seriously. Why? Because she cut her long hair, something that she was proud of simply because she heard a rumor back when she was a little girl that said that Sasuke liked girls with long hair. Sakura was no much for the sound ninja, of course, and she's eventually bailed out by Ino and her team, and later on by Sasuke himself when he wakes up. Seeing how beat up she was because of that fight, and how she wouldn't back down because she wanted to protect her teammates no matter what, made her character grow on me.

Then we get up to the preliminary round of the chunin exams, and it's there when one of my favorite fights in the chunin exams happens: Sakura vs Ino.

This fight is where Sakura slowly starts to sprout from a bud into a fully bloomed flower. She takes her fight against Ino seriously, and gives it her all. When Ino used the mind transfer jutsu on her, I thought that that would be it for Sakura. But she managed to kick Ino out of her mind thanks to inner Sakura (another aspect of her character that I wish Kishimoto did more with, but I get why she just sorta vanishes after a while) and the match resumes between them. It ends in a tie, but it was still a really good fight regardless. It showed that Sakura really can fight if she wants too, and it put an end to her rivalry with Ino, allowing them to become friends again. After this fight I definitely had more respect for her character.

When Sasuke eventually leaves the village to join Orochimaru, Sakura felt that she was worthless because not only was she unable to do anything, but Naruto got hurt in his fight against Sasuke because of the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke back. So, she does something that I didn't expect her to do: ask Tsunade to take her on as an apprentice.

We can see how those three years of training with Tsunade paid off, since Sakura can not only stand toe to toe in a fight against Kakashi fighting alongside Naruto, she also has enough strength to take on an Akatsuki member like Sasori:

This fight definitely showed how much better as a fighter Sakura has gotten in three years. Yes, I'm well aware that Lady Chiyo helped her in this fight, but she still did an excellent job of holding her own. Aside from her physical prowess, we also see how far she's come as medical ninja as well. Going from reviving a dead fish to doing something as critical as cutting Naruto open to pump his heart in order to keep him alive during the 4th Great Ninja war:

And it's during this time that she was finally able to stand next to Naruto and Sasuke in battle, instead of always walking behind them and watching their backs get farther and farther away from her. Idk about you guys, but watching these three perform the summoning jutsu at the same time, doing their own three way deadlock like the original legendary sanin before them was so fucking badass:

We already knew that both Naruto and Sasuke had long since surpassed their masters, Jiraiya and Orochimaru. But until this moment, it was unclear if Sakura had truly surpassed Tsunade or if she was just on her level. This scene right here definitely showed that Sakura has indeed surpassed Tsunade, making her, Naruto, and Sasuke the new legendary sanin.

Watching Sakura grow throughout the series was really nice to see, not to mention inspiring for me to watch as a young girl. Her growing determination to better herself and stand the same level as her teammates is why she is and always will be one of my favorite characters in the series, if not my most favorite character.

[queenmikoto]

Traditions

(I’m making up my own Uchiha tradition based on this image and the Japanese Festival Tsukimi, the Autumn Moon Festival)

Fic under cut. Ao3 link

As one of the founding clans of Konoha, the Uchiha took pride in their traditions and festivals. Outsiders were rarely, if ever, allowed to join. 

There were winter prayers in the Naka shrine, the whole clan kneeling, praying, sharing the warmth of the flames at the front of the room. Sasuke remembered fidgeting and his mother’s graceful hand alighting on his knee to stop his squirming. His father sat at the front of the room leading the prayer, Itachi kneeling tall and proud behind him. The fur collar of his kimono tickled his cheeks. 

Spring brought the cherry blossom viewing festival and his mother’s most beautiful kimono, a silvery grey with white and pink petals all over. The slippery silk was cool to the touch and the potpourri that his mother kept in the folds was always comforting to him. He sometimes wished he could use it as a blanket, his mother said no but offered her soft apron covered lap as a substitute and that worked just as well.  

Summer had street fairs. The whole clan, usually reserved, let loose and had fun. Children running and playing, the adults indulgently smiling. Outsiders were let in and the Uchiha went out among the people, the whole village celebrated. Sasuke clung to his brothers hand or rode on his fathers shoulders in the crowd. The family together, and happy. He always got a new cotton yukata for his birthday, to wear to the festivals, the Uchiha crest stitched by his mothers own hands. 

Autumn was the Tsuki no Inori festival. There was no need for fancy clothes or loud music and laughter. Every year on the night of the first full moon in Autumn all of the Uchiha, young and old came together in the heart of the Uchiha district to light candles and share the love and celebrate the bonds in the clan. 

Sasuke was excited to stay up past his bedtime and to spend time with Itachi who had grown increasingly busy as a newly minted chunin. He held his small candle tightly as he walked behind his mother and father, Shisui at his side and Itachi holding his other hand. The rest of the clan followed behind, the light of the full moon guiding their steps to the bank of the river. They stood in a loose circle, the moonlight creating halos on their dark hair. There were artful arrangements of pampas grass that his mother helped with. He had helped too, handing her the stalks to put into the vases, she occasionally tickled him with it, gently caressing his cheek when he got distracted. To the side there was a table with sake, tea, and traditional tsukimi soba, chestnuts, edamame and piles of tsukimi dango. Sasuke could see Itachi eyeing the dango with a wistful look.

Fugaku came to the center of the circle, the whispers silenced as he addressed the crowd. 

“We gather here today, as we do every year, to celebrate the autumn moon. To also celebrate the bonds between us and our members of the clan that have passed on. Tonight we will light the flames in remembrance of them and to honor the history of our clan. The Uchiha crest on each of your backs represents the fan that rouses the flames of our wills and our hearts.”

Fugaku looked towards Mikoto with a softness Sasuke rarely saw on his face. She stepped forward towards her husband. She held up her candle, in it’s simple flower shaped holder, Fugaku’s hands slowly and deliberately formed the signs for a Katon jutsu. The flames bloomed from his mouth and lit the candle in his wife’s unflinching hands. She was wreathed in light, not the silvery light of the moon any more but the warm golden flames of her husband’s power. She smiled at him and turned to place the candle on the ground, to start the shape of the crest. She closed her eyes over the candle, to take a moment to reflect, then she raised her face to the moon and inclined her head in reverence. Standing, she moved back to Fugaku’s side, he nodded and flames started to light up the glade.

Tradition held that those closest to you lit the candle, usually direct family husbands and wives, siblings, parents. Those orphaned and alone had friends do it. Itachi stepped over to Shisui, who held up his candle to present it. The light burst out of Itachi’s mouth, Sasuke stared with pride and some envy, longing for the day he could do the same. Shisui placed his candle carefully and returned to Sasuke’s side. He and Itachi kneeled, and Itachi held out his candle infront of Sasuke. He looked confused for a moment before Shisui spoke. “I’ll help you until you can do this yourself ‘cuz ‘Tachi here wants you to be the one to do this.” 

Sasuke beamed at his brother, elated that he was Itachi’s closest person, he honestly thought it was Shisui since he was older and he took his brother’s attention away from him. Itachi gave him a smile warmer than the flames that had glided past Sasuke’s head. Shisui had formed the seals while holding Sasuke’s hands in his and gently blew the flames from his position over Sasuke’s shoulder.

Itachi placed his candle and turned to his brother who’s focus was on their parents. Mikoto was kneeling to place another flame. As the matriarch of the clan, Mikoto was responsible for lighting a candle for each clan member that they lost in the year.   Fugaku kneeling behind her with a protective arm around her, not touching but just grazing her shirt. He should have been looking at the flame, but he was looking at his wife, still as radiant to him as the day they met.  Itachi could see the love plain as day. His father caught his eye and he would swear he saw an extra glow upon Fugaku’s cheeks. 

Chuckling to himself, he turned to his brother again, who was practically vibrating in excitement for his brother’s attention. He smoothly ran through the signs, and taking a quick breath, he let out a thin line of flame, the control a testament to his mastery, even at a young age. Sasuke, who had been focusing so hard on Itachi’s hands, trying to memorize how he did it, grinned brighter than the flame after it was lit. 

In the glow Itachi thought about activating his Sharingan to capture the moment. Shisui, who’s curls shined in the light and who’s eyes held all the warmth of the flames around him. Sasuke’s cheeks, still round with baby fat, were squishing his eyes almost closed with the smile on his face. Itachi could feel the presence of his mother and father behind him, he could feel their happiness. He remembered when he was little, his father kneeling behind him, cupping his hands around his own to hold the candle. His mother before them lighting the flame, her long eyelashes touching her cheeks before they swept up and her eyes caught his, the flames painting them as red as the Sharingan.

Blinking when Shisui nudged him he watched Sasuke taking slow and halting steps towards the nearly finished crest of flames. Sasuke knelt as slow as possible, knees bending centimeter by centimeter till he was on the ground. When he placed his flame he let out a gusty sigh, almost enough to blow out his candle. Clapping his hands to his mouth, he turned wide eyes to his brother and Shisui who were trying (Itachi) and failing (Shisui) to hold in their laughter. Sasuke hastily went through his reverence before running back to Itachi’s side, slightly behind him and peeking out at the crest. 

When the last flame was placed Fugaku stood and started saying the ancient prayers for the deceased.  Itachi stayed at Sasuke’s level since Sasuke was still hanging onto his shirt. He could feel Sasuke fading from tiredness after a few minutes so he nudged Sasuke before making subtle motions towards the dumpling table, as if he was going to make a break for it.. Sasuke giggled and an uncle cleared his throat quietly nearby, glaring. Sasuke’s shoulders fell under the scrutiny but Itachi’s returning glare and warm hand in his made him feel better. 

Once the prayers had finished, Itachi presented his back to Sasuke so he could climb on. Sasuke wrapped his arms around Itachi’s neck as he moved at a quicker pace than his usual towards the dumplings. As son of the head and a once in a generation prodigy,he had certain privileges to get to the front of the line quicker than most, and if Sasuke was holding several dumplings for him as Itachi held his own, no one said anything. The brothers retreated with Shisui to a nearby tree, to lean on and share the food they grabbed. Meaning Sasuke handed Itachi his dumplings and rested his head on his shoulder. Sasuke promptly started dozing, surrounded by the love and light of his family.

Sasuke opened his eyes. The Uchiha hideout where he had his fateful battle with Itachi was cold in the autumn. The moon shone over head through the destroyed roof. The candles before him had almost burned out in their lotus shaped holders. He was now more than strong enough to light all the flames himself in one go. Arranging the crest with one hand was what took the most time. One candle was laid for each Uchiha who passed in the massacre and one for Shisui and one at the end for Itachi, all of them long gone but the memories fresh in his mind.

The candles would burn out soon, the moon would wax and wane, and time would keep moving on. But Sasuke would always be surrounded by the love of his family.

[dellalyra]

𝙆𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 | 𝘍𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧 | mdni

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪɴᴀᴛᴀ’ꜱ ᴡᴇᴅᴅɪɴɢ ᴅᴀʏ ʙʀɪɴɢꜱ ᴍᴀɴʏ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ.

𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

Gods, she looked beautiful. All in white and soft florals - you couldn’t believe it really, little Hinata who would faint every time Naruto so much as looked at her would now standing beside him as his wife. He scrubbed up well, Naruto, you had gone with him and Iruka to get his wedding outfit fitted and insisted he get his hair cut for the day too. You’d never be his mother, just as Iruka would never be his father. But you two had tried, you had been the one to feed the screeching blonde baby his 3am bottles in between ANBU missions and eventually had taught alongside Iruka in the Academy. Seeing him now, with the sweet girl who’d bring you lilacs every day as a gift with a shy nod, having said their vows and exchanged rings, you had never been more thankful for sacrifices made along the way.

You also felt old. Even though you were only 27.

The reception began in earnest, guests greeting the beaming couple and Iruka standing beside Hinata’s father thanking passers by.

Having taught all of the kids in the academy, being close to Naruto and soon becoming Lady Fifth’s right hand woman beside Shizune - these kids felt just like yours. You’d mopped up their blood, dried their tears as anyone would for their kids.

You had spent so much time with them, made them take their medicine, trained with them, studied with them, mediated petty arguments (Ino and Sakura) and mended broken hearts with them. Of course, there was also the other reason.

The 6ft, silver haired reason standing in the corner. Your best friend since childhood, your Shinobi partner, your partner in crime and the love of your life.

Not that the last part came to light until about 3 months ago, when before the final battle arrived you woke up realising you might die tomorrow. He might die tomorrow. Life was too short, you’d lost too many people to forsake this chance - even though his fear of losing people he loved, and your fear of losing your other half was what kept that unspoken gap between you all these years. How you came to get together after almost 25 years of pining was a story for another day, however, because today was Hinata and Naruto’s day.

You could see Sakura, in the distance - she’d intercepted a messenger bird and pulled the scroll from its foot, and you saw her smile. Only one person can make your Sakura smile like that. Sasuke. On his journey of atonement, who knows where - but still thinking of Naruto, and Sakura. His friends. His family.

Sai stood hand in hand with Ino, a genuine smile on his face and love in both their eyes. A blushing, wait, blushing Temari stood beside Shikamaru - when did that happen? You all knew it was coming, but didn’t know it had happened. Tsunade caught your eye and winked, raising a glass of champagne in your direction. Shino and Kiba were monitoring Rock Lee and Gai who were causing mild havoc and Choji was at the Hor D’Ouvres already. TenTen stood near Kurenai and Mirai. So many loved ones, but too many missing. Neji should be here for this. Jiraiya would be so proud.

You watch the Kazekage make conversation with Kakashi who looks absolutely miserable among so many people, and you decide to save him. You grab Sai as you walk towards the Hokage and Gaara of the Desert.

“Lord Kazekage, thank you again so much for attending today. It means very much to Naruto to have you here with him today. Hinata too, although I suppose I can just call them the Uzumaki’s now! I believe you were speaking about a memorial portrait for your office, Lord Kazakage? Sai here is our finest artist, perhaps you could speak on the matter?” You interject, with levels of diplomacy you only gathered watching Tsunade daily.

“Indeed, I’m grateful to be here to witness a dear friend’s happy day. Sai, would you speak with me about…” Gaara speaks, wandering away with Sai beside him. An odd pair, one you knew would be busy making incredibly strange conversation for some time.

You glance at Kakashi, a wry smile on your face.

“Better?” You snicker, taking your place beside him.

“Infinitely. The second Naruto can string a sentence together without saying ‘Believe it!’ I’m giving him the hat. I hate all this talking.” He grumbles.

“Even to me?” You act offended.

He just gives you that adorable eye smile, lips quirking under his mask.

“Never to you.” He says, voice quieter, softer.

“You really do look very handsome today, Lord Sixth.” You smile, fixing the lapels of his jacket. He rolls his eyes.

“Not even half worthy of standing beside you, sweetheart. Y’look beautiful today, everyday but today - that’s something else.” He smirks.

“Oh hush you, you told me how nice I looked for 15 minutes this morning.” You huff.

“I believe I showed you how nice I thought you looked too, 3 times before we left the apartment.” He snickered, knowing the images of your tangled limbs in the bedsheets making you almost late would infiltrate your mind again, causing a flush across your cheeks.

“Kashi, gods, we were already nearly late - we can’t go sneaking off to a broom closet now and that’s how this will go if you keep talking like that.” You glance at the sky, trying to clear your mind.

You both laugh at the scene in front of you as Gai and Rock begin doing various exercises and TenTen just rolls her eyes. Everyone looks so beautiful, so happy. The aura of calm and peace surrounding everyone is a reminder of why you came back from the war with many new scars. It was worth it. Seeing these kids, who really deserved a better world - actually living it was more than any of you dreamed.

“Did you see Shikamaru and Temari hooked up?” You elbow your boyfriend.

“Finally. I thought his lazy ass would never do anything about it.” He snorted.

“Bets on it was all Temari.” You respond and he shakes your hand to seal the deal.

“Sakura got a message from Sasuke too.” He chimes in.

“Sai asked me to help pick a ring for Ino too.” You remember shopping with him, in awe of how much of a romantic this boy turned out to be.

There’s silence for a moment between you both.

“Who do you think will be next?” Kakashi asks you.

“For what?”

“To get married.”

“Temari and Shikamaru probably. Ino will want to plan a wedding properly, and I think we’re still a while off Sakura and Sasuke. Who knows, maybe Gai will find his partner in the grand spirit of youth?” You respond.

He huffs a laugh, but doesn’t reply.

“Why, was that not who you thought?” You question him.

“Nah.” He shrugs.

“Who do you think will get married next then?” You poke his cheek.

“Us.” He looks at you, unfazed.

You blink.

And blink again.

He just stares at you.

“Is that a proposal, Lord Sixth?” You think he’s joking, so you play along.

“I suppose so.” He nods.

Oh my god, he’s being serious.

“Kashi - are you - do you mean that?” You ask, breathless and grasp his hand.

“You used to say you didn’t want a fancy proposal. Just for someone to say they want to marry you. I want to marry you. The rings at home.” His smile is soft, imperceptible to anyone but you.

You turn to face him, smile bright and lash line glistening with tears.

“You busy tomorrow, Hatake?” You ask, a laugh interrupting.

“Shikamaru can take care of business, you got plans?”

“Wanna get married?”

He just smiles, and glances around to make sure nobodies watching before slipping his mask down and pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips.

“It’s a date.” His voice is wavering slightly.

“Let’s keep it quiet. It’s not our day. Hinata and Naruto leave for their honeymoon tonight.” You whisper to him.

“Tomorrow we’ll ask Gai and Kurenai to meet us at the courthouse. It can be just us four. Then I’ll take Mrs. Hatake home.” He nods, and your heart seizes at the sound of you being Mrs. Hatake within 24 hours.

“I love you, ‘Kashi.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” He says, pressing a masked kiss to your inner wrist.

“SAKURAAAAA-CHAN! LOOK AT KAKASHI-SENSEI AND Y/N-SENSEI! THEY ARE SO CUTE!” Ino’s voice echoes.

“Some things never change.” You laugh as Kakashi grimaces.

Recommended Listening:

Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Rey

[frankencanon]

I think it'd be funny if we made Kakashi even younger.

Can you imagine Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura finding out that Kakashi is only a handful of years older than them?!

I mean, with how little we see of his face it's extremely difficult to tell how old he is...

It was one thing when he was prepubescent and short with an unbroken voice, but once his voice dropped and he reached an average adult height... How would anyone be able to tell?

He's strong, highly ranked, mature for his age, and the proper height for an adult with an adult voice. Anyone who didn't already know his age would be liable to mistakenly assume he's older than he actually is, especially with the grey hair.

And it's not like it's out of the realm of possibility for a teenager to be a jounin sensei—take Minato, for example. He was, what, seventeen? And as talented as Minato was, he's nothing compared to Kakashi when it comes to rising through the ranks at a young age.

I'm pretty sure Kakashi broke literally every record there was when it came to "youngest ever [blank]". Academy student, genin, chūnin, jōnin, ANBU, ANBU Captain... Sure, Itachi eventually beat him in one or two of those, but at the time Kakashi was the sole record-holder; There'd never been anyone like him before.

If we just modify Kakashi's already contradictory timeline... Unimportant info below about the details for just how this could potentially work in canon!!

—WAIT. FORGET ALL THAT.

If you want to read my calculations as to how this could canonically work you may direct your attention below, however I have just come up with a far better and far simpler and also quite possibly both funnier and sadder idea:

Time-travel, but not in any way you're thinking...

Most people assume the reason why they didn't hear much of Kakashi's exploits over the years is because he was in ANBU and so everything was Top Secret and extremely covert...

But what if the real reason was because Kakashi had somehow been sent about a decade into the future? Hence explaining how he could be a teenager still when he was once the Yondaime's student.

Also possible: Kakashi was somehow held in stasis for the past decade—sealed, perhaps? Trapped? Or maybe the work of a foreign shinobi's jutsu (kekkei genkai?) that took about a decade or so to break/deactivate...

Or, my personal favorite:

He was investigating the Uzushiogakure ruins and got caught in one of their defensive seals — one that would seal him for a maximum of ten years, with the intention of giving Uzushio shinobi as much time as possible to deal with whatever intruder(s) got caught in the trap.

Without Kushina or Minato or any other Uzumaki seal experts however, deactivating the seal would be basically impossible — luckily, the seal was set up so that once time ran out Kakashi would be automatically released.

And he was! Ten years later, with little baby Naruto all grown up and almost ready to be placed on a genin team — his genin team.

—

AFFOREMENTIONED DUMB CALCULATIONS FOR HOW THIS COULD POTENTIALLY FIT INTO THE CANONICAL TIMELINE BELOW 👇

—

It's probably boring!! You don't have to read it!!

⚠️ You have been warned!! ⚠️

(It's mostly just me brainstorming, honestly...)

—

Genin at five, chūnin at six... Then he stalls at chūnin for a while before eventually advancing to jōnin at twelve (wherein Obito "dies").

He's approximately thirteen when Rin is killed leading to him joining ANBU, and then fourteen when Naruto is born and the Kyūbi is unleashed on the village, causing Minato and Kushina to sacrifice themselves.

In canon, he is then twenty-six years old when he becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei...

For starters, I vote we cut those six years of chūnin limbo before Kakashi becomes jōnin, dropping him to about twenty-or-so.

Then again, this is fanfic—who cares about canon timelines?

If we put him on the hyper-speed fast-track...

4: Academy student

5: Genin

6: Chūnin

7. Jōnin (Obito dies)

8. ANBU (Rin dies)

9. Naruto's birth (Minato & Kushina die)

Is this ridiculous? Yes! But who cares?

9+12=21

Hm... That's not right.

Alright, this is getting a bit annoyingly complicated.

Even if I downgrade Naruto to eleven (because for a long time I was convinced for some reason that Naruto was eleven while the rest of his peers were twelve, and I still have absolutely no clue where I got that idea from) that would still make Kakashi about twenty. Hm...

Ugh, I'll figure this out later. Can't we just hand-wave it?

—No wait, I have an idea:

While modifying his canon timeline to make him younger is a hassle and a half, the fact remains that until we saw Kakashi Gaiden we didn't actually have any details on his backstory...

In other words? The beginning of the series managed just fine without it, so why don't we just throw it out entirely?

Afterall, this fic is about jōnin-sensei Kakashi—the details of his traumatic childhood are irrelevant, and it's not like early fans had that information to work with anyway.

Naruto is canonically younger than Sasuke (who was a baby during the Kyūbi attack) so we shall put him at eleven to give us some leeway.

Now let's say we wanted to make Kakashi somewhere around sixteen to eighteen during canon—that would require him to be five to seven years old when Minato dies.

Now let's compress his timeline some more:

Considering the Konoha 9 all attended the very first chūnin exams after they graduated, I don't see any reason why Kakashi couldn't do the same—and unlike them he's a prodigy so it's basically guaranteed that he'd pass. (And that's assuming he didn't get a field promotion...)

Give him up to a year to become jōnin, and then have him join ANBU almost immediately after.

Some months later, Naruto is born and the Yondaime dies.

To compress it further, I am making his graduation even more ridiculous:

Academy student at three, genin and then chūnin at four, jōnin and ANBU at five. God, can you imagine a five-year-old ANBU? That'd be terrifying. Naruto is born around the time he turns six, and eleven years later Kakashi passes a genin team for the first time and is made a jōnin-sensei at seventeen, just like Minato-sensei was.

It'll take Team 7 a while to realize that, however.

...WAIT A MINUTE.***

Why am I even bothering to promote him prior to Minato's death? Am I, perhaps, an idiot?

Minato becomes his sensei as soon as he graduates to genin at five years old, but before that Kakashi spent a lot of time as his apprentice and they bonded. Shortly after Team 7 is formed the Kyūbi attack happens and Minato dies — the how doesn't matter, so don't worry about it.

The war is over so instead of Kannabi Bridge they go on some other dangerous mission with the same results, except this time the reason Minato isn't there is because he's dead.

They send some other inadequate chūnin or jōnin in his place, but they promptly get killed early on in the mission, perhaps at the same time that Rin gets kidnapped.

Kakashi is chūnin at this point so he naturally takes charge, despite being a five or six year old and Obito being — I don't know, twelve? Significantly older.

Obito dies, then Rin, and this time it's the stupid Sandaime that sticks Kakashi in ANBU like he's an annoying unwanted child that he wants to keep out of sight and thoroughly occupied — at least, until he needs a jōnin sensei for the Kyūbi's Jinchūriki and the Last Uchiha...

So, final version:

Five years old when Minato dies and Naruto is born, and about five or six years old when Obito and Rin die and Kakashi gets stuck in ANBU, followed by eleven years of Naruto growing up while Kakashi's in ANBU makes him... About sixteen to seventeen years old when Kakashi becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei.

To Kakashi, this feels almost poetic. (Same age as Minato-sensei was...)