#he also does lapdances

[junkyardspider]

Mr. Bonzo’s on his way,,,

he also does lapdances

[cruel-as-sin]

take the weight off his shoulders | logan howlett

pt. 2

↳ summary: you're a stripper and old man!logan comes into the club where you work- so you decide to show him a good time.

word count: 3k

song: older | isabel larosa

pairings: old man!logan x fem!stripper!reader

content warnings: 18+ content (MDNI), smut, porn w/o plot, prostitution/strip clubs, age gap (readers age is unspecified but she is an adult), praise kink, gentle sex, striptease and lapdance hehe, size difference, protected p in v, grinding, handjob, lingerie mentioned, the glasses stay on, practice safe sex everyone (lmk if i missed anything!)

↳ a/n: ao3 saw this first and it took way too long for me to move it over to tumblr but. here it is lmao. as i said there old man logan does something CRAZY to me so it was only fitting i wrote about him, enjoy! also this is not proofread so apologies for any mistakes :’)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Logan's not sure why he goes into the club across the street.

Maybe he needs to feel young again. Maybe he's bored. Maybe the adamantium poisoning the rest of him has finally managed to get to his brain and turned his thoughts into some sort of horny, befuddled shit show.

Or maybe, just maybe, he really is just that fucking desperate.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It's past midnight when he walks through the door. You've been busy all night, but things are finally starting to wind down, the customers that frequent the small establishment slowly trickling out until only a few remain. None of them are your regulars, and given how empty the doorway has been, you're honestly considering calling it a night and going home early. The past few days have been hellish, full of people who didn't do a damn thing to turn you on, and you'd love nothing more than to sink into a warm, cozy bed and drift off to sleep. Tonight, you've been roaming the floor for the past hour without getting anything- everybody is either interested in another one of the workers or entirely fixated on the dancers.

It's not that you don't like your job- you do. Sure, being a stripper isn't the most flattering form of work, but the bills are paid. That's all that really counts these days. Your pride has long since been discarded in favor of earning hefty tips from the sleazy guys who are dumb enough to believe that you'd actually be into them. You put on a good show, of course, but if it weren't for the money? Not a fucking chance.

You like it that way. Hardly any of your clients go beyond the intimacy of a private dance, mainly because you don't let them, reserving that for your favorites. But you haven't met someone who turns you on in a long while, and without the occasional thrill of a real good time from a customer, you're starting to get bored. The days are blurring together, nothing separating the good days from the bad ones, if there even is such a thing anymore.

You're on your way to ask your boss if you can get off early when you hear the bell ring. You groan internally, realizing that you're the only one on the floor who isn't occupied, meaning if this client is interested, they're yours.

Damn it.

So much for an early night.

You're midway through praying to whatever God is out there that this client tips well when you turn and actually lay eyes on them. The moment you do, your mind goes blank, your prayers long forgotten as your thoughts become consumed by him.

He's older- much older. Pushing sixty, at least. It's not inherently a bad thing, but typically the older they are, the more entitled they become.

You're not usually into older men, finding them self-centered, greedy, unable to keep up with your desires; but you're not even ashamed to admit that this stranger could ask you to do just about anything and you'd probably agree in a heartbeat.

The man is tall, big, his muscular form obvious even underneath the suit and tie he wears. His salt and pepper hair is short, accompanied by a scruffy beard you're certain would feel like heaven against your thighs. His tie is loose, his top button undone, and he's got on a pair of dollar-store glasses that he hasn't even pulled the tag off of. There's a weight to him, an exhaustion that seems to have infiltrated the deepest parts of his soul, as if he's seen things you couldn't even begin to fathom- and yet, he's here, seeking some semblance of relief.

Lucky for him, you know exactly how to give it to him.

He looks around like he's lost, the colorful lights and sultry music overwhelming, the center stage where your coworkers get dollar bills thrown at their feet foreign to him. By the time you've made your way over, your legs moving of their own accord, he's turning to leave. "Hey." You call out, and he stops, turning back around to face you.

He's even bigger up close, and his eyes roam over your form almost shamefully before finally meeting your own. "I was just leaving." His voice is rough, a little scratchy, and while you're sure it's supposed to be intimidating, all it does is further fuel the heat pooling between your legs.

"So soon?" You look up at him with a doe-eyed gaze you're well aware makes men weak in the knees.

"I shouldn't be here." He says, but he doesn't walk away from you.

You move a little closer so your breath is fanning across his neck, your voice dripping with suggestion. "I could show you a good time."

"Listen, sweetheart, I've got-"

Sweetheart.

"Let me take care of you." You lean up to whisper in his ear. Your breath is hot against his skin, your mouth tantalizingly close, and you can feel the way he twitches slightly- an exercise of self-control.

A moment passes, two, and he lets out a long breath. "Fuck, darlin'." He reaches out, hesitant to touch, as if he's not sure how this works, doesn’t want to cross some invisible line he hasn’t learned exists. You take his hand, guiding it to your waist, reaching up to put one hand on the back of his neck. "You sure know how to get a guy wrapped around your finger."

In response, you give a coy smile, taking his tie in one hand and giving it a soft tug. He allows you to guide him, pulling him along by the tie you're sure he has a million ideas of what to do with.

You lead him into a private room, pulling the curtain closed behind you, letting his tie slip out of your grasp. His eyes dart around for a moment, but then you're in front of him again, reaching up and sliding his blazer off of his shoulders. You hang it up on the wall, then return, now slowly guiding him backwards and giving him a gentle shove into the leather chair near the wall. He raises an eyebrow as you circle him, leaning in from behind to whisper in his ear. "Just relax." You murmur, letting your lips graze his neck before pulling away. He leans back, eyes following your every move, a stare that feels like it could set you on fire.

You put on a good show for him- dancing, teasing, tantalizingly close, but never touching. Not yet. You can see the hunger in his gaze, the restraint it takes for him not to pull you down into his lap and keep you there. You give him a strip tease, taking off your bra and letting your breasts go free. His eyes roam over you, a murmured word, "Beautiful," leaving his lips, and that makes your already soaked panties drenched.

Then you give him a lap dance- and unlike most of the men you meet, he doesn't touch, doesn't paw at you. Instead he waits, lets you set the pace, doesn't do anything without your permission. Your hands go to his tie, undoing it at a speed you know is killing him, tossing it aside.

Finally, you rest yourself entirely on his lap, and whisper in his ear. "You can touch now, if you want to."

His hands immediately settle on your hips, like they belong there. You grind down against him, feeling him tense beneath you at the friction against his clothed cock. You repeat the motion, relishing in the groan it elicits from him. His grip on your hips tightens slightly, and he begins to guide your motions, pressing you down against his thigh in a way that makes you moan. It's a small, soft sound, but it still makes him smile. “Atta girl, that’s it.” He huffs approvingly. You keep going, feeling yourself almost get lost in the rhythmic movement before you come back to your senses.

Your hands move to the collar of his shirt, slowly beginning to undo the buttons, revealing his toned chest. You only get about halfway down before his hands are gripping your wrists, and your protest dies on your lips when he leans up and kisses you.

He tastes like cigar smoke and whiskey, a blend that should be uncomfortable but is somehow pleasant. His tongue slips into your mouth, tangling with yours as he pulls you closer. By the time he finally pulls away for air, you're dizzy, flushed.

A kiss- almost as personal as a name.

You've never met a man who could make you feel like this- and certainly not without getting all your clothes off first.

His words snap you out of your breathless haze. "Let me touch you, baby." His voice is both a plea and a demand, and who are you to deny him such a request?

A simple nod is all it takes before his hands are on you, roving over your breasts with an appreciative groan. You can't help the way your hips rock against him, and one of his hands goes down to your ass, encouraging you to grind against him again. His other hand rolls your nipple between his thumb and index finger, while his mouth leaves sloppy kisses along your neck, down to your breasts.

You bury your face in his neck, breathing him in. His head comes up from your chest to whisper in your ear as he keeps your hips moving back and forth, his other hand alternating between your breasts. His skin muffles your moans, but you know he won't let you hide those pretty sounds from him forever. "You're so perfect." His words don't exactly do you any favors in the 'keeping your composure' department. "Sweet, pretty thing like you..." He nips at your earlobe, making you gasp softly. "You got no idea what you do to me."

Those words snap you back a little, remind you of your promise to take care of him. You raise your head up, leaning back a little to meet his eyes. "Then show me." Your hands reach down towards his belt, and this time, he doesn't stop you. Instead, his gaze roams over you as you unbuckle it, slowly pull it out of the loops of his pants, toss it aside, letting it join the other discarded articles littering the floor. You undo the buttons, then pull his pants down.

Even through his boxers, you can clearly see the outline of his aching hardness. You gently take him in your palm, running your hand along him through the fabric, watching the way his eyes flutter. Then you adjust yourself so you're grinding on him again, thin layers of clothing the only thing separating the two of you.

You go on like that for a little while, keeping track of every little sound he makes, every hitch of his breath and shudder that goes through his body. Then you lean back, pulling his boxers down, freeing his cock from the confines of his clothing.

Immediately, your mouth waters. He's huge, the biggest you've ever seen, and you find yourself wondering if you even can take him.

You push that thought aside for now, swiping your thumb across his tip, smiling to yourself at the groan that leaves him. You repeat the motion, letting precum gather on your fingers as you begin to move your hand up and down, up and down. You start slow, stroking him gently, then gradually increase your pace. Midway through, you grab a condom with your other hand, keeping eye contact as you open the wrapper with your teeth. You roll it onto him in one smooth motion, earning a startled grunt. His head falls back, his breaths coming unevenly, and it takes him a while before he can manage a coherent sentence.

"Fuck, you treat every guy like this?" Even with all the energy he can muster, the words are still a little short.

Your smile widens, and you lean in to press a kiss against the vein of his throat. "Only the good ones."

His mouth opens, as if to argue with the notion that he's anything good, but your ever-faster movements silence any protests that could have come from him.

You can tell he's getting close, and you slow down, letting him breathe a little slower as you whisper a soft question. "Where do you want me? You want my mouth, you want-"

Your words are cut off by his hand cupping your clothed mound, a gasp escaping you. "I want this." His voice is rough, and this time, it's not a plea. He leans in, his breath hot against your ear as you unconsciously begin to move against his hand, chasing any friction he can give you. "I think it's a little unfair, seeing how I'm all out in the open and you've still got these," His thumb hooks in the waistband of your panties. "Separating me from you, hmm?

You don't even answer, just raise your hips up slightly so he can tug your lingerie down your legs until it falls and hits the floor. Immediately, his gaze lands on your exposed cunt. "Jesus, you're soaked." He murmurs, running his fingers through your slick. You whine as he brushes against your clit, and he chuckles. "Need me that bad, huh?"

"Need you." You whine. You can tell he wants to take it slow, to tease you, and by god do you want to let him- but you're impatient, your own teasing having riled you up too much to do anything but fuck him. Luckily, he picks up on your silent request, raising your hips to hover above his cock. His gaze searches yours, waiting for permission, and you nod. "Fuck me." You say softly, and it takes everything in him not to come completely fucking undone at that sweet tone of voice.

Slowly, painfully slowly, he lowers you down onto him. It burns, in a delicious way you've come to love in your years here. Even with the sheer amount of wetness coming from you, it's still a struggle to make him fit- but he does. When you've finally sank all the way down onto his cock, he lets you breathe for a moment. "You can take it, baby." He murmurs reassuringly- a support and a chance for you to back out. You close your eyes, breathing in and out, resting your face in the crook of his neck again.

Then you start to move.

It takes him by surprise, and you like the grunt that comes from him. For someone of his age, you're sure not much can catch him off guard anymore, so that makes it all the better when you lean back to see the look on his face. He catches your small smirk and returns it with one of his own, letting you move yourself up and down, over and over. Your pace slowly increases as the two of you adjust, and the room is soon filled with soft noises and the sound of flesh against flesh.

It's slow, almost sensual, but despite the circumstances that should have you turning this in another direction, you like it. You feel that familiar coil building in your stomach, your soft whimpers turning to moans now.

"You gonna come for me, baby?"

All you can do is nod, and he rocks his hips up into yours. The way he fills you up is mind-numbing, until you can't think of anything else but him and how fucking good he's making you feel, how badly you need to come undone on his cock.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Your voice takes on a sharp pitch as he thrusts up into you, and your vision goes white for a moment as your orgasm hits you, unending bliss shaking your whole body. He rides out your orgasm for as long as he can, but the tight feeling of your cunt clenching around him soon sends him over the edge too. You can feel him twitching inside you, only prolonging the aftershocks of your own pleasure.

Eventually, you both come down. You're breathing heavily, trying to scramble together any semblance of thought. He stands suddenly, picking you up like you weigh nothing and setting you down on the chair. His cock slips out of you at some point during the process, leaving you feeling empty. You sit there for a moment before opening your eyes, finding him pulling his pants up and buckling his belt. He meets your gaze with a hint of a fond smile, bending over to grab his tie.

You stand up to retrieve your own clothes, pulling them back on while he shoves his arms through the sleeves of his blazer and rifles through his pockets, eventually pulling out his wallet. "Um, how much do I owe you?"

He looks almost embarrassed, and you find it kind of adorable. You flash him a smile, saying words you never thought you'd dare to let pass your lips. "Nothing. It's on me."

Immediately, his eyebrow shoots up. "No, I can't... I can't let you do that, pretty girl."

You shake your head. "I insist. Nobody's ever fucked me like that, and certainly not any of my clients." You see the way your words boost his ego- good. He deserves it. "Besides, if you hadn't showed up, I'd have gone home anyway." You say nonchalantly, taking a few steps over to him. You reach up and put a finger to his lips before he can continue to argue. "It's on the house."

Although he still looks conflicted, he reluctantly nods. "Okay. Next time, then."

Next time.

You feel a thrill run through your body as he brings up the prospect of a next time, and your smile widens. "Next time." You affirm. You step back, letting him be on his way.

He moves towards the curtain, pausing before he goes. "See you around, sweetheart."

And just like that, he's gone.

But you don't miss him- because you know he'll be back.

So when you finally make it home and climb into bed after that warm shower, there's still a fond smile on your face as you drift off to sleep, dreaming of the weary stranger and his wonderful words.

[hrhmimieucliffe]

NSFW Alphabet with Doctor Zayne - ❄️

Minors DNI (Obviously)

Wanted to do this because I've never done an NSFW Alphabet before. Hope my fellow Zayne stans see my vision and agree with me though.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after the act) - Very affectionate and attentive. He would clean you up, help you relax, maybe even give you a massage if he went too hard. 🤫

B = Body part (favourite body part their own or their lovers) - He couldn't just choose one spot. He loves to kiss the palms of your hands when you touch and grab at his face whilst he's thrusting into you slowly and deeply. He loves to place gentle and loving kisses on your neck. He loves to run his hands all over your body, specifically your torso, grabbing fistfuls of your breast gently.

C = Cum (anything that has to do with it) - He doesn't really like the mess, so he'll be sure to clean it up as soon as possible. He'll also advise you to use the toilet, as that's what you're supposed to do after sex, then maybe you can have a shower... maybe he'd join you.

D = Dirty secret (Pretty self-explanatory) - He may act indifferent, but he secretly loves watching you walk and strut around in lingerie when you're in the bedroom. He slowly strips it off you with care, as he doesn't want to ruin it of course. He loves to see you in it, and treats it with care. His favourite part is definitely slowly taking it off you and revealing every inch of your perfect body. He definitely also loves it when you tease him in different ways.

E = Experience (do they know what they’re doing) - Come on now...🧍🏾‍♀️Though it isn't his area of expertise, I'd say as a Doctor in general, he might know a thing or two about stimulation. Even if he isn't experienced. 🤫

F = Favorite position - (Idk many positions so I'll just go by something I do know though I don't know the name of it 😭) I think Zayne would like an intimate position, such as a spooning position. I think him having you safe and secure in his arms, in a position where he can watch your facial expressions change, as seeing your different pleasured expressions gets him off. He likes to be close to you.

G = Getting Off (What gets them off?) - I think Zayne is the kind of man that could sit down and watch you intently as you give him a little show. A lapdance, a strip tease, anything like that. But even moreso, I think he would love it when you possibly take charge every once in a while. He secretly likes it when you make him ask nicely for you to let him finish🤫

H = Hair (grooming habits) - He is definitely well-groomed, no doubt about it.

I = Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty) - Definitely romantic. He likes to make love. Slow, sensual, passionate, intimate, and gentle. He is a gentle dom in my opinion, but he doesn't mind you being on top every once in a while. He could indulge in something rougher if you ask, but I don't really think he'd put his all into it - afraid of hurting you of course.

J = Jack off (do they masturbate and how often) - I think he wouldn't do it often, as he's way too busy with work. But perhaps on a day off he'll get pent up and decide to rub one out. I'm sure he'd be thinking of you when he does 🤫

K = Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual) - I don't think he has many kinks to be honest. Perhaps brat tamer, or primal (hunter). No daddy or master kink over here 🤫 Maybe he secretly likes to see you all tied up for him, though as long as its not hurting too much. I think perhaps he could have a size difference kink. After all, he'd love watching and witnessing how well you take him every time. Definitely a gentle dom.

L = Location (where they like to get it on) - He definitely would prefer if its not in public. He likes to be somewhere private where its just the two of you. Where no one can disturb you. Your body is his temple and he wants to be the only one to see it. It goes both ways, though.

M = Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons) - When you push him onto the bed and straddle him, 100%. When you visit him whilst he's working just to tease him and he has to resist the urge to give in. When you "accidentally" drop something and bend over. When you grind into him as you sit on top of him. When you slowly slide and drag your hands under his clothes, caressing that sculpted body of his, circling his nipple with your finger. It drives him insane. When you wear his favourite outfit just to rile him up.

N = No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do) - Hair pulling (at least too hard), Spanking (Again, not too hard if he DOES do it), anything too kinky in general or like proper BDSM.

O = Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are) - He definitely loves to receive. He loves to sit back and watch you as you take him into your throat. He'll let out small soft grunts and groans every now and then, but he'd obviously be holding back. Maybe he'll whisper a few praises and stroke your hair. But, he also thinks it's better to give than recieve. Watching your face contort in pleasure, gripping at the sheets, arching your back, your body trembling, those adorable moans, the way you whisper his name. He'd be making sure your needs come before his. You're his favourite patient, and a good Doctor takes GOOD care of his patients needs before his own. 🤫

P = Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed) - Definitely nice and slow, but he'd pick up the pace the faster he gets to bursting and maybe be a little rough if you asked him to be.

Q = Quickie - I think quickies would be beneficial depending on when. Like you could tease him in the morning before he has to go work and he'd have no choice but to give in and take care of you when you beg him to and give him those big doe eyes. Maybe if it's late and you're in the office, he'd relieve some quick stress with you. Maybe he'd even let you suck him off under his desk whilst he's working (after you got him riled up on purpose, of course)

R = Risk (do they like to try new things) - I think he'd be open to new things, but mostly depending on how you feel about them.

S = Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts) - Maximum 3 rounds, just because he's a workaholic, and so he couldn't go for too long as he'd need to get his rest in for work the next day. But he always makes it up to you. When he has a day off, he'd go as much as you want him to.

T = Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers) - I think he wouldn't mind using one on you. His favourite would definitely be a remote controlled vibrator that he can activate at any time. You'd better hope you're not out hunting wanderers or with another person when he gets bored in his office and decides to activate it for fun.

U = Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves) - Oh, I think he wouldn't definitely be the type to make you whine and beg, edging you and watching you come apart as you plead for him to let you cum when he's two or three fingers deep inside you. Maybe he won't give in and you'll have to keep begging. Maybe he'll hold you still so that you don't seek any other stimulation to finish yourself off.

V = Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk) - Always low. Quiet. Hushed. Whispered. He won't moan too loudly, he'd probably hold it back or release it in an almost agonised growl and grunt. He likes to praise you, whether you're receiving or giving the pleasure. He would probably check on you whilst he was doing it to you to make sure he's not too rough or anything.

W = Wild card (random sincannon of any sort) - I think he'd definitely use his evol during sex at least one time 🤫 When it gets too hot, I'm sure a little ice would definitely help👩🏾‍🦯

X = X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants) - Girl...😏😩 he is packing of course. A good 5-6 inches.

Y = Yearning (sexdrive level) - It's not always high, but it certainly is when you tease him. Sometimes it'll go up just looking at you, or thinking about you.

Z = Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after) - He'll only sleep once he knows you're okay and all your needs have been taken care of. He'll watch you fall asleep in his arms.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Am I right or no, girlies?

(If you saw any spelling mistakes, no you didn't)

[hellcheckers]

tier list of all the hours in cultsim based on how horny I think they are

S Tier: The Grail - Self explanatory

The-Mare-In-The-Tree and The Malachite are canonically rumored to fuck nasty in the woods despite it technically being illegal to fuck if you’re immortal

A Tier: Mother of Ants - im biased because I think she’s hot. the fact that jesus is one of her names won’t deter me from trying to hit that.

The Forge of Days - Quite literally caused a millennial calamity via killing the Sun-In-Splendor because she was afraid that they would get too horny, would put in S tier but she did kill her lover so.

The Moth - Listen having one of the ways to ascend as the carapace cross is to be a stripper and lapdance in several occult locations. The moth may not fuck be they sure as hell don’t mind that.

The Sister and Witch + The Witch and Sister - these lesbians are literally intertwined with two different versions corresponding to different aspects. Which one is the witch and which one is the sister? I don’t fucking know and neither do you. One drowned after the other and if that doesn’t scream tragic sapphic sex idk what does. also they probably sent the recipe to the sex in the beach cocktail to some random bartender as a prank good for them.

B Tier: The Flowermaker - While I don’t know much about them, I do know that those flowers a definitely drugs. Not horny enough to bone but horny enough to make Acid 100000.

The Thunderskin - Bro got flayed because The Grail and him fucked to the point that he was the sacrifice bc they just really boned that much.

The Beachcomber - While this avian hour does not have any lore behind its sexual preferences, it is said to “collect the secret liaisons of the hours and gloat”. Fucking voyeur.

C Tier: The Elegiast- He is not the kindest hour, but he does not forget. This may or may not extend to the liaisons of mortals. Best not to ask him about it.

The Colonel and The Lionsmith - Gonna be honest these two are too caught up with trying to one up each other via eternal strife to actually think about committing the crime of the sky. Shoutout to the theory/headcanon that The Colonel and The Mother of Ants are secret lovers though.

The Vagabond - Has probably fucked in her lifetime, but is definitely too salty over being banned from the Mansus to think about sex.

The Velvet - She’s too busy digging in the dirt and hiding juicy gossip and world ending secrets. Understands consent as she did say No to the Glory.

D Tier: The Sun-In-Rags - I don’t think any of the technical children of The Sun are too happy about being born via failed and lethal sex. Definitely don’t think the Sun-In-Rags is happy about visiting what’s essentially his mom when it’s the spitting but depressed image of his dad.

The Door in The Eye - I don’t think medieval LASIK is hot tbh but that might just be me. Other than the fact that Teresa is within its vicinity, there are no horny vibes here unless you count blood.

The Meniscate - Child of The Sun, see above. However, bonus points to how she’ll take in the dancer if they are too symmetrical to be sorted under heart or moth.

F Tier: The Wolf Divided - CONSUME TEAR KILL FLESH. CONSUME TEAR KILL FLESH. CONSUME TEAR KILL FLESH.

The Crowned Growth - EAT MOLD EAT MOLD EAT MOLD EAT MOLD EAT MOLD EAT MOLD EAT MOLD EAT MOLD EAT MOLD

The Madrugad - Probably the least traumatized of The Sun’s children. Also probably has the level head to not get involved with anything that has to do with The Crime of The Sky.

[caustinen]

listened to sabrina carpenter’s album and suddenly can’t stop thinking about please please please being perfect for hollywood au gale’s pov when they’re just started dating 🥲 <— you CANNOT convince me that bucky wouldn’t LOVE short n sweet i was listening to slim pickins (her album is TOP TIER GOOD) and i had a thought… imagine gale having like a slight cowboy drawl that kinda comes out every once in a while and drives bucky up the wall INSANE also i can totally picture them having karaoke nights with the other boys and bucky just full on serenading gale with every romantic/horny song to ever exist on earth and gale just sitting there kinda blushing, half smiling and looking pretty (basically the whole scene with john singing blue skies but in a modern context)

THIS WAS SO INSPIRING THANK YOU

oh YES to buck having a slight accent, he learned to speak out of it the moment he left his parent’s house but sometimes when he’s tired or on edge bucky will hear his accent start coming up and he’s OBSESSED, he finds it adorable and also sexy af, like a mixture of imagining little gale loving his time at the stalls and them being a safe space for him but also imaging his city-boy’ed gale in his natural cowboy habitat is doing things to him whenever he hears it 🥰

I LOVE SABRINA’S ALBUM like imagine… bucky’s hand on buck’s hair or thigh and singing along to espresso from the top of his lungs as they drive a convertable with the roof down in riviera…. i imagine gale with the same kind of sunglasses and scarf as sabrina in the mv too, it was to block his face from the paparazzi but now it’s covering a big smile as he looks at his husband being silly and affectionate and perfect… ALSO ALSO bucky taking gale’s face to his palm like in ep 2 as they wait for the key in the hotel and gale just looks at him with that small fond smile‼️

bucky will take each and every chance to serenade gale, you’re so right, gale has learned to expect that no matter how much or little time they spend together at an event at some point he will hear his husband’s voice singing some pop queen’s discography and pointing at him, this is one of the things bucky needed to go public for because esp when tipsy he just wants to announce to the world how much he loves his partner and no matter how much their friends tease them gale secretly loves it too, even if he’s not always one to initiate public displays of affection or desire he’ll often take john to the side after his peformance and whisper some pretend innocent things about probably wanting to go home soon 🥰

also idk why but this inspired me and i’ll just go for it: bucky absolutely does not want a stripper for his bachelor party so he gets real upset when he’s shoved into a room with dim lights during the night but right when he’s about to leave it turns out it’s gale… just a lapdance to some sultry pop (they def do more than that but they’ll deny it to their grave despite endless teasing) and he’s also gonna do it again on the honeymoon after bucky begs and begs him to 🥰

[rrr-is-gay]

RAMBHEEM SMUTTY HEADCANONS, PART 11! It’ll never stop!

Ram is so flexible. We see this in the movie, and you bet your ass it comes in handy for their sex life. He just kinda automatically lifts his hips off the mat (or the floor, or the ground) and pulls his knees to his chest so Bheem can fuck him. He really can just fold himself in half; give Bheem that easy access.

NECK KISSINNNNGGG oh boy I think this is both of their weakness! Picture it!! A sunny afternoon perhaps, they’re having a lil picnic under a shade treee. Bheem is reclined against the tree trunk, with Ram’s back resting against his chest, and his legs wrapped around Ram’s hips. Ram is dozing off, so relaxed and warm. Bheem starts nibbling on his ear, then his neck. The nibbles become kisses and before long, he’s sucking hard on Ram’s neck, giving him the craziest goosebumps. They both get so turned on, they simply have to jack each other off. It’s the law.

Ram WORSHIPS Bheem’s body. He huffs his armpits, sucks on his tummy, licks his fingers, pets his hair & beard, hand-feeds him meals, and gives him the most wonderful massages. Sometimes he gets so distracted by Bheem’s perfect bubble butt, he starts eating his ass before he even finishes the damn massage.

I definitely think Ram has fallen asleep with Bheem’s cock in his mouth. Not in the sense that blowing Bheem is boring, more like he’s so sleepy and handsy and dopey-affectionate, he’ll sorta snuggle up on Bheem’s lap, pop his lips open around his dick, and suck on it a lil bit as he falls asleep. Like a pacifier. Bheem smiles and coos, maybe gets worked up, depending on how long they spent marathon-fucking before Ram got too sleepy to carry on. But it’s ultimately just sweet. Their bodies are so happy together.

Ram teaches Bheem how to ride a horse. And of course he does this in the gayest way possible. He sits on the saddle behind Bheem, reaching around him to hold the reins while nuzzling his face on Bheem’s neck & shoulder. He kinda thrusts his hips against Bheem’s ass while he instructs him on how to cue the horse to go. They get a nice trot going and Ram is just devouring Bheem’s neck, holding the reins tight and letting the motion of the horse rock his hips into Bheem’s. And of course Bheem knows exactly what’s up. He kinda angles his butt back into Ram, lets their bodies grind together while the poor horse is just wondering when these two homos will stop lapdancing on his back.

Ram and Bheem are very much a “sex every night” couple. Of course there are nights here and there when they simply don’t have energy, or aren’t in the mood. But even on those nights, they snuggle up in bed together and smooch and gently stroke each other’s skin before drifting off to sleep. But most nights, they gotta get their rocks off or they can’t even fall asleep. Handjobs & kissing is very common, but so is Bheem topping Ram. They also really love to suck each other off, especially at the same time. 69 may be impractical, but they’re absolute fiends for it, they can’t get enough of the stuff!!!!

[ssweeterthanfiction]

billy and the band are at this concert for some other band one of his mates wanted to go see. he’s not particularly invested in it, reader is also a huge fan doe so he’s fine with attending. recently they had a huge fight which has left them distant, billy has been caught bringing a groupie to THEIR bedroom.

the lead singer is basically like billy, though his fame is more elevated (?) like let’s just say he’s been around longer or is more popular currently. and it gets serious when he invites reader up on stage, part of her wants to hesitate but she knows billy is watching her and well… there u have it👀

OH SHE WOULD DEF GO UP ON STAGE.

i think it would be hilarious if it was like she sits in a chair and the singer sings to her, EVEN MORE HILARIOUS IF IT’S LIKE A LAPDANCE TYPE THING.

cause you already KNOW billy would be like PISSED FUCKING OFFF

and tbh…if they kissed on stage, FOR THE PERFORMANCE OF COURSE, billy would be even more pissed off cause like THATS “HIS” GIRL.

and like lets say that if billy and her break up and she rebounds with the lead singer…holy shit billy would just be CRASHING OUTT

[crazycurly-77]

Masterlist plots -

Part 2

Short plot of the fanfiction stories I've written/I'm currently writing:

Status: in progress (NCIS)

- Undercover Lapdance (NCIS)

Story: A Navy lieutenant was shot dead in a nightclub, but the investigation has reached a dead end. There's only one thing the NCIS can do: someone has to go undercover there to find out more. 

Since you bring everything you need for table dancing, you will be the one going undercover. 

But no one expected the consequences this undercover job would have on your male colleagues…

Chapters: 1 (there are more to come)

Warnings: It's getting very hot, but non-explicit.

Status: finished (NCIS)

- look at the plot Masterlist Part 1

- A beautiful day (NCIS)

Story: Which wire of the bomb you should cut? The red one or the blue one?

Chapters: 4

Warnings: violence against a building, angst, cursing, fluff

- Two Fools (NCIS)

Story: You and Gibbs long for each other, but you don't dare confess your feelings to each other, or do you?

Chapters: 5

Warnings: fluff, angst, pining

- Who's Dracula? (NCIS) 🧛🦹👻

Story: At the NCIS Halloween Party you dance with Dracula and are completely fascinated by him. You have never met this colleague before, but you really want to see him again, which is why you go looking for him. But nobody seems to know him. The strange thing is that he somehow seems very familiar to you.

Chapters: 3

Warnings: fluff

- Healing processes (NCIS)

Story: The reader is about to fall into an abyss right in front of Gibbs, but he is unable to reach her and prevent it, so she falls, is seriously injured and also loses her memory. This incident opens up the wound of his family's accident even more, as he was also unable to prevent it and save them. Will there be rescue and healing for both of them?

Chapters: 17

Warnings: angst, fluff

- The Dance (NCIS)

Story: At your best friend's wedding you dance a passionate tango with Tony, which not everyone likes.

Chapters: 3

Warnings: fluff, jealousy

- Catfight with Consequences (NCIS)

Story: Two women are fighting over Gibbs which leeds to a shocking revelation and unexpected consequences.

Chapters: 2

Warnings: fluff

- The best Christmas ever (NCIS)

Story: You and Gibbs have both no family to celebrate Christmas with. So you decide that you will spend the holidays together this year. But what will he say about that?

Chapters: 1

Warnings: lots of pure fluff

- A New Year's Eve to remember (NCIS)

Story: Your best friend and you originally wanted to go to a cabin in the mountains for New Year's Eve, but unfortunately she falls ill so she can't come with you. But Gibbs, of all people, provides the unexpected rescue...

Chapters: 1

Warnings: lots of fluff

- The Neverending Kiss (NCIS)

Story: A kiss that changes your life forever.

Chapters: 2

Warnings: fluff, little bit of hotness

- Parties with colleagues and their consequences (NCIS)

Story: After a very good party with your colleagues you wake up in a foreign bed and your bedmate is none other than Gibbs and he absolutely wants to talk about this night!

Chapters: 1

Warnings: none

- A well-meant Plan (NCIS)

Story: Tony and you are trying to set Gibbs up.

Chapters: 1

Warning: pure fluff

- Bob (NCIS)

This is written in the style of the series 24. Events occur in real time.

Story: A helicopter is stolen from Quantico Base. The machine is a secret new project of the Navy, but who has it? Several people are suspicious.

Chapters: 24

Warnings: violence in crime and defense

Finished Works (no fandom):

- The Artifact (magic)

Story: Luca is very fascinated by a glass ball which his master brought from his journey. He was told never to touch it, but one day he does and strange things happen...

Chapters: 1

Warnings: violence in magic fights

(maybe there will be a continuation, since the Artifact must be protected against several evil magicians 😉😊)

- A Mysterious Christmas (for kids)

Story: A girl and her dog are walking through the snow when they suddenly spot a dancing penguin. Where does he come from and where does he want to go?

Chapters: 1

Warnings: none

-------------------------------------------

Links to the stories above (Masterlist stories - Part 2)

Links to finished stories I've written to date (Masterlist stories - Part 1)

Links to the short plots of my fics (Masterlist plots - Part 1)

-------------------------------------------

[beaker1636]

L is for Lap Dance - Ryan

A bit short, a bit awkward but I feel like it was meant to be that way. I wanted a little comedic relief and Ry definitely delivered that for me 🤣🤣. I wouldn't necessarily call this part smut because there is no actual sex in this one but I still had a bit of fun writing it (and if you Ryan lovers feel cheated I can absolutely do a bonus scene for him after this once they get home). Sorry if it feels awkward, I had no fucking clue how to write a lap dance so I winged it a little bit and because of that it is also a shorter part than most of the alphabet game has been so far, but hope ya'll enjoy!

“Wait wait wait, you are saying that your mother found her panties in the kitchen the next morning so that is how you two got busted? Well, guess you lost that round,” Justin tells Vinny with a laugh, all of them meeting up for Coffee the next morning now that Vin and Lottie are done hiding out from everyone.

Lottie has her face hidden in Vinny’s neck, embarrassed from the entire thing and honestly annoyed that Vinny felt the need to tell them. It’s not like she is going to want anything any time soon now that she knows about getting caught anyways… thank god he waited to tell her until after they left, she knew she’d never be able to face his mom again.

“Ugh the worst part is she made a joke about how they beat us to using said table,” Vinny responds, looking completely disgusted at the thought.

“But they didn’t lose,” Ricky says. “They weren’t caught while doing it, they were caught after they did it.  So technically they didn’t lose.”

“Yes they did, I thought we said if they got caught at all then said couple loses,” Mia argues before taking a sip of her drink.

“If that’s the case then no matter how you guys did E you would have lost because I had to know it was happening,” Rick says back, rolling his eyes.

“Does it even matter? Look at how petrified and embarrassed Lottie looks right now, I doubt Vinny is getting any regardless for awhile,” Chris jokes, looking over at the couple.  

Lottie pulls her blushing face away long enough to tell Chris to go fuck himself before hiding her face in the crook of his neck again. 

“Fine, I conceded.  You guys can give them credit for it,” Justin grumbles, still not fully convinced that the couple won but giving up on the fight because it really isn’t worth arguing over.  Especially when he is coming up and if he pisses everyone off they’ll probably give him an awful task, so the fight doesn’t need to happen.

“Wait, so how did you respond back to your mom? Or did you just not answer and try to pretend that it didn’t happen? I want to know the ending to this story,” Ari asks, trying not to laugh at the fact that it happened to her friends.  Because truthfully she’d probably be just as traumatized if it happened to her.

“I just quickly tried shutting her up before anyone woke up, if my father knew oh god he would lose his shit,” Vinny groans, rubbing his face slightly before he glanced down at his drink and took one, trying to hide how annoyed and embarrassed he is.

“Okay, moving on what is Ryan’s letter?  I think we embarrassed the two of them enough for one day,” Chris says, able to tell that Vin and Lottie are about to run so he tries to break the moment, give them a little peace for the time being.

“The only thing I came up with was Lapdance,” Vinny grumbles, still slightly annoyed with his friends.  “I feel like it is boring but I mean it’s all I had.”

“Oh god, can I volunteer that Ryan has to be the one to do it because….”Ari asks, a giggle escaping at the thought of Ryan attempting to do this.  

“Does it really matter who does it, just so long as it is done.  I do think this one we should ask for a little proof of though because I know Ryan and he wouldn’t hesitate to lie about this,” Justin says with a laugh.

“What the fuck did I get myself into agreeing to this fucking game.  No, I am not giving you one.  How would that work, I can’t exactly stimulate anything easily like someone could do to a guy,” he groans.  

“No, I like that idea.  Ryan you better do some research, bud.  And because I don’t trust you I think someone has to be present.  Maybe we let all the girls have a girls night, enjoy some wine and stuff first and then they have the hired male stripper,” Vinny jokes, laughing when his friend looks like he is ready to kill him.

“I fucking hate all of you, I swear to god you can tell the fans why I quit the band when it comes out,” Ryan groans before leaving a couple dollars tip on the table and walking out.  He better start his research if he doesn’t want to make a complete fool out of himself.

“Thanks for hosting us Mia, I have a feeling none of us will be able to drive home tonight other than Ari because I am guessing that Ryan is going to force her home after what he does,” Naomi says with a giggle.

“What gives you that idea? Because we’ve all already had a couple rounds of shots before the wine? Come on we need the full fucking experience,” Mia jokes, laughing.

The night truly has already been fun with all of the girls, Chris has been playing bartender because he wants to make sure none of them overdo it.  He may not drink but he has no problem with them doing it so long as they are home and safe… plus he may want to see this because he is sure he will get a good laugh out of it.  

“I think we need another round of shots mr. bartender,” Mia calls across the house to where her fiance is perched in the kitchen, bottles of liquor surrounding him.  A sight she never thought she would see with her straightedge fiance, but if he is willing to do this she won’t tell him not to either.

Chris rolls his eyes but comes back out with a bottle, pouring another shot in each of the girl's glasses before he makes his way back out of the room.  He may still be there but he is giving them space, knowing that the girls could use this time together without having to worry about anything else at the moment.

“So Carlotta, was the sex at least worth it,” you ask, glancing over at her. “You know where getting busted at least wasn’t that awful.”

You watch as she flushes bright red yet again. “Jesus Ari, you are going to ask this? And yeah, it was pretty good. I mean I got off twice so I wasn’t bad… God I hate talking about these things,” she groans before downing her shot to take her mind off of it.

“Only twice, that is nothing.  Just wait, one day Vin will edge the fuck out of you and get you so much you’re begging him to stop.  And trust me, it is definitely worth it when they do that,” Naomi says with a smirk, all of us looking at her like she’s lost her mind. “What, you’ve never reached that point? Not my fault any of you are missing out.”

“Okay, I am done with this conversation,” Lottie groans. “I do not need to know what any of you have done like that.  I am good, thank you very much.”

“And that is how you make it obvious that you are the baby of the group,” Mia teases. “Don’t worry, we will all corrupt you eventually.  How many shots are we at, should we switch to wine?”

“Nah, one more round and then wine.  Gotta be buzzed to get the full strip club experience before Ryan shows up,” Vanessa says, glancing over at Lottie who is now giggling and clearly feeling the effects. “Except for maybe Lottie, I forgot how much of a light weight she is.”

“I am not giving any of you more shots, I can agree to wine but I think the 4 rounds you have had in the last two hours are plenty.  And I’m limiting you all to one glass of wine,” Chris calls from the kitchen, overhearing them talking about shots. “I don’t need any of the guys banging my door down pissed because you are all hungover and bitchy tomorrow.”

“Fine, bring out the wine dear,” Mia calls with a sigh.

Chris steps out holding some wine glasses and the bottle, starting to pour each of you a glass when the doorbell rings.  He can’t help the cheesy smile that raises on his face when it does, you all may think you aren’t drunk but you are at a minimum buzzed and this is going to be interesting.  He finishes pouring the drinks for all of you before he goes and answers the door for his friend, giving him a warning that all of you are pretty buzzed and ready in the living room.

Ryan steps into the living room trying not to blush too hard, reminding himself that this will be over in a couple minutes and then everyone in the room will hopefully not remember it because they have been drinking all night.

“So I heard we are having a celebration for someone tonight, why don’t you come take a seat on the chair for me,” he says, looking right at you where you sit on the couch.  All your friends encourage you to go for it, egging you on with cheers and laughter. “Chris you can start my music.”

A few seconds after you take your seat in the chair the music starts up and Ryan glances at you, standing right in front of you before spreading your legs to the music as his button up comes off, getting tossed across the room while the girls continue to cheer, egging both of you on. 

His hands wind up on your shoulders as he rolls up your body to bring himself eye level with you, making eye contact for a second before turning around to reverse straddle your lap, a couple hip thrusts down into your lap before reversing and doing the same facing you.  Your hands resting on his thighs as you hold him in place, lost in the moment as he continues to move against you until he backs up from you, slipping his undershirt off before grabbing your hands and guiding them to run down his chest and stomach.

He turns around again to straddle your lap with his back towards you before bending down and giving a couple more body rolls, allowing you to grab his ass before he sits back up, moving your hands to his chest again as he rolls his hips against yours again as the song finishes. 

He turns to catch your eye, both of you now watching each other closely as he pretends being all up on you hasn’t given him a slight hard on and you pretend like you aren’t at least partially turned on yourself even if it was slightly awkward and not completely flowing with the music.

Your friends are all laughing and cheering behind you at the free Ryan strip show that they got while he blushes slightly, not really enjoying the attention he was getting from your slightly hammered friends.

“Sorry ladies, the most you were getting off of me is my shirt,” Ryan jokes before leaning down and whispering in your ear. “I’m not against doing this again, but it will be when we are without an audience next time.”

“I don’t think anyone complained you didn’t take any more off except for maybe Ari,” Mia says with a smirk, giggling when you turn bright red at her comments.  Proving to everyone what is now currently on your mind.

“Anyone opposed if I take Ari home now?” Ryan asks, only to be met by hoots and laughter from the girls, because they all know what is going to happen once they get home.  The rest of them go back to their drinks as you and Ryan make your escape, more than likely not even getting home before one of you has your hands on the other. 

Chris himself laughs slightly, unknown to his guitarist he may have taken a video of the performance and sent it off to the other men in the band.  Knowing they all were going to want to see this, and that while Ryan may kill him it’ll be worth it from all the laughs that they were going to get out of it.  At least he would have proof he completed his letter right?

[saytrrose]

buddy. pal. friend. I have to know. does kinger get a lapdance

Oh absolutely. This is funny because I actually mentioned him getting a lap dance when I first showed this to my friends…

I also mentioned he was a virgin loser though that probably went to a club his very first time and fell in love with her

[kangofu-cb]

AU game: Instead of it being Prostitute!Clint, let Bucky have some fun this time as Stripper!Bucky

Just to be clear, I have, in fact, also written Prostitute!Bucky. I'm an equal opportunity employer of sex work.

That being said.

This is a modern AU, so you get fun twunk!Bucky instead of beefy Bucko

Costuming is generally traditional, like fireman, except he does at least one superhero, and it's not Captain America. It's probably Batman, tbh, because Bucky is a NERD. Or maybe Green Lantern?

This man can DANCE. (I don't know if you know this but lots of male strippers can't actually dance. They're not all Magic Mike up there. Sometimes they just gyrate. But not Bucky. He's got moves.)

Clint can also dance, but he's still in awe of Bucky's... flexibility. Yeah. That. The flexibility. Definitely not like... the abs. Or the fit of his spandex.

Always awkward bumbling Clint receiving a lapdance that someone else (probably Kate) paid for, which Bucky finds gently amusing.

From this ask.

[safetycar-restart]

enjoy this unhinged imagine of spending date night with sub!charles: on his yacht! with time stamps… and lots of kinky stuff 😌

[4 PM] the spot's isolated, the view’s great (it’s him. he is the view), paparazzi don’t bother this late when you’re far out, plus he knows the sea like the back of his sexy hand. before sunset, all you do is lay on your towel and watch him play in the water.

[4:30] charles is so silly, he always has to dive for the ball you’re passing him. you take so. many. fucking. pictures of your wet pretty boy. re-slathering him in sunscreen = mommy’s favorite activity. even the risque spots. you love when charles — ticklish as he is — squeals from all the relentless pinching. at least he won’t burn in the sun now 🦀😉

[5 PM] no, charles doesn’t have a red ass from spanking for once. it’s because he tried a rather experimental jump into the water. i swear he just craves pain. the man still can’t sit, so mister greek statue stands, dousing himself with a water hose for your viewing pleasure. he’s got the sexy yellow ICON swim shorts on because those are a must, and they really do fucking stick to his skin 👀

[5:30 PM] the barbecue? smoking like a stove. still not as hot as him! charles does all the cooking and cleaning for his goddess. even the dessert he prepped in the morning. you’ll probably eat it off his abs if we’re honest. a forehead kiss follows — you praise him for the tasty meal, only to snuggle and smooch together in a hammock on deck.

[6:45 PM] he makes sure he freshens/dresses up nicely in a black satin tux, black tie, cuffs, shiny shoes. mistress always picks his clothes. second dinner ahead: the yacht's master bedroom.

[7:10 PM] you rile up the incredulous cutie with a slow lapdance and pull his tie… which makes him go promptly insane 😊 no filter, these gorgeous moans are so damn loud. still dressed, he humps a pillow with no permission to cum, a thumb between your legs. you opt for riding his face to suffocate your honey bun as he deserves.

[8 PM] in typical fashion, charles is busy chugging liters of water after making you cum. the night gets worked up, you rip off his tuxedo, charles needs to feel some red ropes on his body. somebody ends up blindfolded, harnessed and tied to the bed with a hopeless erection unattended to. cue your favorite cock ring, some cane strokes to his thighs… until you edge him with a fleshlight, he swears his mind is breaking apart. pretty kitty will cry and gasp for air 😽

[8:30] this beautiful body twitching and straining is too stunning not to film. after charles feels like he died a thousand deaths and still throbs, you have him cum into his own curled palm. good boys lick up their mess! darling painstakingly cleans his hand with his mouth and chokes on those fingers like a champ. safe to say he’s all demolished… and you have so much juicy video footage of your beloved sub 💕

didn’t have a clue what aftercare/untying scenario would follow this up best, that’s where you come in ✍️ the suspense rises… how would the evening go on? 🤔

- george’s long legs anon 👕 enjoying your blog which is just marvelous, doing god’s work!! this is the place to be on f1 smutblr 🔥👌

👕 anon you are truly extraordinary. This is just… you keep on dropping these absolute masterpieces out of nowhere and I dont think I’ll ever recover from it.

Firstly, he’s planned this for AGES. One of his favourite things about owning a yacht is that he gets to take you on it, that you and him can just spend an evening or an entire day on the water together.

Especially because it’s something that Charles loves so so much? So getting to share it with his dom? Incredible. I also think he’s very protective of that time with you? He makes sure to not let his plans slip, because then his friends might ask to join. And he doesn’t want that!!! This is for his Dom and his dom only!!!

Of course charles knows the perfect place, and I think that he’s sentimental enough that he might always pick the same anchorage? Sure he’ll often explore new places with you, but when it’s time to just spend an evening today then he’ll always pick the same place.

He spends the first hour or so just playing in the water. Of course you’re more than welcome to join him in the water, but you could also just chill and watch him. He loves jumping into the sea, making a big plash and then coming out of the water and straight to you, giggling with his hair a complete mess.

And yes, sunscreen is VERY important. Your sweet boy is very sensitive to the sun and he completely forgets to put the sunscreen on himself. However he never complains when you call him over for more sunscreen, firstly because he’s a good boy but also because he would never complain about your hands on him.

Of course he always gets plenty of kisses to distract him until enough time has gone by that he can get back in the water.

Then, once he’s tired himself out then he simply must douse himself off with the water hose right in front of you. And yes, he does let his swim trunks fall dangerously low on his hips and yes he knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows his mommy’s eyes are on him and he wants to give a good show.

And yes he makes dinner himself. Honestly people who make fun of Charles cooking either haven’t experienced it or have only experienced it when he’s in a hurry. Because he does a great job for you.

Though that be because you’re the one who fucks him, yeah it’s probably that.

And the cuddles on the hammock after dinner and a requirement. You must do so. Charles literally got the hammock installed JUST for cuddles with you. He got one big enough for three people to ensure the two of you would fit comfortably and have the perfect cuddle space.

So he gets his cuddles and his kisses there. That’s where you start to work him up, praising him for the meal he made, thanking him for taking you out, calling him the sweetest prettiest sub you could ever ask for. He starts to get all wriggly in your arms, beginning to get turned on from all the touches and praise and kisses.

That’s when you send him off the bedroom to get changed into the clothes you’ve set out for him. He never knows what he’ll find there. You might have put a skirt out or lingerie or a full suit it something. Tonight it’s a full suit, because you want to undress him.

Riding his face while he’s still on the suit is incredible? You make him lay on his back so he doesn’t have anything to grind against, and you can see how hard he is in his fancy suit pants. His hips desperately on their own accord, trying to get some friction but he doesn’t ask for anything because he’s having the time of his life.

Even though he’s so desperate that there’s literally a wet spot of precum on his pants, he still doesn’t ask for more because he’s a good boy.

Then you have to undress him, treating him like you’re unwrapping the most fragile present and then you just have to tie him. You almost feel bad for edging him, but you desperately want to see him cry from pleasure.

And he does. Tears running down his cheeks as he’s begging you to let him cum. Of course you have to use your hand to actually make him cum, to hold him close and stroke his cock exactly how he likes until he’s crying out and spilling all over your hand.

Then he gets more cuddles on the hammock for a little while, feeling so happy and safe and warm and so so relaxed.

He gets cuddles for about an hour and then it’s time to head back to the dock. Charles drives the yacht and you hug him from behind. He’s fine being in control of that, as long as you hug him from behind the entire time and praise him once he’s docks the boat.

Then you’ll drive the two of you home, letting Charles keep his hand on your thigh for comfort and then he gets even more cuddles and praise.

It’s really just the perfect night.

[kokorodachidanii]

Things I want to see in Sly 5

🦝After months, possibly even years of trying, the Prologue Episode is all about Sly’s triumphant return to the present day

🦝Also, the “Sly is Slytunkhamen (I think that’s how you spell it)” thing is handled in the most insane way possible: by pulling a “Roswell That Ends Well” in which it’s implied that Sly fucked Slytunkhamen’s wIFE-

🦝Carmelita gets another furry lapdance (OK, I’m probably one of 8 people in this entire fandom who is completely neutral about The Hypersexualized Fox From The E10+ Games, but this one goes out to all my Carm-obsessed homies 😜)

🦝Even better– Murray gets another crossdressing lapdance!

🦝The gang goes to SPACE

🦝Penelope Redemption Arc!!!

🦝Murray finally gets a boyfriend (I’m thinkin’ Dimitri; yep, I ship it)

🦝Bentley says “rooster-licker” to mean “cocksucker”

🦝The first thing Le Paradox does when he inevitably breaks outta jail is build his own Villain Theme Park™

🦝Sly actually uses his Special Cooper Ability (@swampythesweetsketch hc’d that these’d be like rewinding-time-to-a-certain-extent shenanigans– something I found PERFECT)

🦝Cooper Gang Group Hug!!!!!

🦝Sly and Carmelita’s future daughter appears, and her appearance suggests that they (Sly and Carm) are destined to fuck in two years at MOST

🦝Sly temporarily dies in the penultimate episode and meets his dad in heaven and when he gets back he fucking sobs-

[a-moment-captured]

so let’s be whores for urb. i’ve written this 3 times cause tumblr keeps crashing so gonna try and remember.

i’d suck the soul out of that man. blow him and make him cum, keep going till he’s hard again and repeat.

so the mv and the recent photos got me so fucking 😮‍💨 for this man. that shot on bedroomfits rlly got me prepared to do anything and everything for that man. good god. his shirt is so fucking tight, seeing his chest and his arms, whew.

so like first that shot of his hand got me. whew. imagining his fingers in u and they stretch u out so good.

cause also bro is so cocky and i’m confident he’s also hung as fuck. has to stretch you out on his fingers every time cause he’s so thick and long. also leaks precum all the time cause he’s just so turned on by u constantly.

have a feeling that when ur fucking when u pull his hair for the first time it would totally catch him so off guard, he’d cum for sure, cause, pain kink 😌

also think consensually he would be a sadist (like when playing. dom/sub or bdsm type)

bro is def into spanking, would spank you so hard all the time. (he loves it, and so do u) constantly has his handprints on ur asscheeks cause it turns him on so bad hearing you moan in pain and having his marks on u. his hands are so big when he does spank u it covers ur entire asscheek.

on the same note i think he would love tying you up for the power trip (always consensually!) cause he has a size kink (along with u) and loves overpowering you and holding you down since he’s so much bigger then u. you love that he can hold you completely down with just one arm. and just. whew. think he’d probably edge you too cause you can’t touch.

think he has a breeding kink just like jack, (also believe they’ve talked about it together lmao) he’d wear a condom after u first get together but after a bit he just said he couldn’t fucking stand it, it ok to go without, and you wanted to feel him so bad (every vein and ridge, and also the warmth when he cums in u) so you said yes ofc. he’d just be in complete bliss from how good it feels. can hardly take it. probably would cum twice cause he just feels so good with ur pussy gripping, squeezing and throbbing around him so fucking tight. and now he loves hearing u beg for his cum, one of his fav things to hear. (also u love feelin him throb when he’s about to cum.)

he’s possessive when playing, wants to claim u as his, wants u to tell him again and again that ur his, he’s repeating “you’re mine, all fucking mine, no one else can have you. mine.” (this also goes along with the breeding kink cause filling u up is just another way he claims u as his.)

also think he’s rlly vocal, never is trying to be but you just feel so fucking good around him he can’t fucking help it.

yet another thought is that he loves getting lapdances, feeling u grinding and dancing on him while wearing the tightest, smallest, sexiest lingerie. having to restrain himself until at least the song is over if he can’t wait until ur done (but usually can’t do it, can’t handle it, and ends up ripping ur set off)

anyway i read somewhere yesterday how jack would be the type to continue to fuck u while someone popped their head in to have a convo and how he just wouldn’t care if his friends came in he’d just keep going (@19crimes maybe???) and i do fully with my entire being believe that urb is the same way. strikes me as a horny ass motherfucker.

finally thinking about shotgunning with him makes me drip. like so bad. it’s so fucking intimate and so hot and after you blow the smoke out even if the blunt isn’t done he just has to give u the nastiest sloppiest kiss because he just can’t take it. it makes him so fucking hard.

anyway i’m rlly rlly rlly horny and a complete and total whore for that man, he’s so fucking sexy, i strongly believe he’s a kinky ass motherfucker, and i’d literally do anything for him, and i have lots and lots and lots of thoughts.

thank u for accepting my essay i hope you enjoy. — 💋

(i’ve also tried to submit this like 4 times and it keeps crashing so fingers crossed!)

🚨Ladies and gentlemen🚨

Can we please give anon a round of applause for reminding us why we are all horny sluts for Urban?!

Babe, I tried to prepare myself but nothing prepared for that! Now I’m gonna be thinking about Urban and his fingers all damn day.

And the bedroom fit?! Speechless…

I thought I was ready but I wasn’t! Anon, anytime you want to send in something about Urban, I’ll be your biggest cheerleader!

[hourcat]

Hiii! I have so many thoughts roaming around causing destruction, I NEED to get this one jealous!pierre out

The paddockwhisperer comes to town, kind of a cross between deuxmoi and lady whistledown from bridgerton where there is an anon who spills a lot of secrets (none of them relating to intellectual property though, just some messy gossip). People don't take it seriously at first but it proves to be pretty accurate, especially when it reveals that a ferrari engineer and the hr head from merc eloped last week which was a huge thing (for the members of the two teams, it was a shock for the rest)

Pierre, being the gossip lover he is, checks it regularly. It even gets a few shoutouts on the sky lives. Pretty much the whole paddock is obsessed with it

Then one day, it claims that "charles leclerc, the championship leader and charmer extraordinaire, gave the deputy head of ferrari's legal department, rafa navarross, 29, a lap dance during a private celebratory party after the win at the last grand prix" and pierre sees it seconds after it's posted and is a little flabbergasted by it. He has a weird feeling in his chest and his heart is beating so loud but he chalks it all off and calls it bullshit, because the charles he knows is way to shy to do that and to especially do that in front of members of his own team. charles just won't.

the rest of the grid though, ofcourse do not let him live it down. they make indirect jokes about it in the driver's meeting , in the press con, in every opportunity. by the end of the thursday, charles is redder than his ferrari with the amount of time he has been blushing. pierre loves seeing it and so he too, joins in on the fun even though to him it's anything but fun. he has started to hate the name rafa, changed his favourite tennis player to roger because he has a limit. and ofcourse it has nothing to do with how he has seen charles and rafa laughing together at one point and it wouldn't be that big of an issue if rafa didn't have the body of a greek god. It's unfair is what it is.

Everything changes later than night though, when he, charles, lando, alex, max, george, carlos and daniel are crammed in carlos' room, drinking a bit while taking turns at playing fifa.

"sooooo, what does one have to get a lap dance around here" lando says while waggling his eyebrows as everyone else (minus pierre) starts to lose it, bastards all of them. "oh my gawde SHUT UP!! You're all so annoying 😤 first of all, you wish lando, get a win first to be at the adult's table and for the last time, it was nothing!! I was just drunk and it was a dare!! merde"

"waitt, so you actually did it??" pierre asks before he can even realise he's saying words out loud. "have you ever known me to back down from a challenge calamar? 🤨" and pierre is pretty sure his brain has stopped working because no way charles just admitted to having done a lap dance. he suddenly felt hot over and that strange feeling from the morning was back again. he was lost in his own and all the voices of the rest of them arguing was filtered out. he only snapped out of it when charles got up to leave, saying that he didn't want a hang over before the FPs and it's getting late and he needs his beauty sleep. As if body had gotten it's own mind, pierre also jumped up saying he should also leave and rushed out of the room before anyone could say their goodnights

But he didn't go to his own room though, no, he followed charles back to his own room and after he had put the key card it, he pushed him up against the door, looking into his eyes before locking their lips together.

*insert a hot steamy makeout session*

"you know, i don't like rafa at all, i think he is a bit of a bastard" "i mean, he is a lawyer pierrot. but he's a nice guy" "ofcourse you would say that, since you gave him a lap dance and all" "HA I knew you were jealous. green is not your colour" "yeah well whatever *grumbles*" "you're so annoying pierrot, fineee, i will give you a lapdance only if i WIN the race on sunday" "i can go for round two now 😏" "i have to drive a car tomorrow, but your patience will pay off" "oh is that so?" "yes." "If i must..... although just tell me if i should bowl into max for you, you know I'd do it" "oh shut up"

KSKSHSKDNDDK ANOOOOOON OH MY GODDDDDDD PLEASE please please please this is so. im obsessed

ESP IF THIS IS PRE RELATIONSHIP/THEM SLEEPING TOGETHER BC LIKE!!!! pierre doesnt recognize his own jealousy for what it is and he gets SO mad at charles, "how could you do that, that is your team member, it is beyond inappropriate" FULLY knowing he is such a hypocrite rn but he can't stop it. and charles gets in his face because "i don't complain about the stories i hear about you, pierre," said in a short tone. and pierre just. "you are so fucking dense calamar--" and charles opens his mouth to interrupt him but decided to kiss pierre instead, all frustrated and desperate. and pierre is so shocked but immediately kisses him back and they make out against his door for a while before charles tells him "i wouldve made you jealous long ago if id known it would lead to this" and pierre just grunts "no lapdances for anyone but me" all possessive and insane and like

yeah. they both stay in charles' room that night.

[ryanatwoodenthusiast]

okay it's time to talk about marissa cooper bc i've read so many hate posts about her today and that really annoys me

she did nothing wrong (okay, yes, a few things, but she's not the most flawed character in the show by far) i'll mention some things people say about her and say my opinion on them

"she trusts people too easily, like oliver and johnny"

yes, that is true and imo it's her biggest flaw but who's fault is it really - is it her fault they ended up liking her? is it her fault oliver became creepily obsessed with her and johnny ended up dying? she was just being nice to boys she met and enjoyed being friends with, and the reason she trusted them is because she sees good in everyone - isn't that a positive trait?

"she spent all of season 3 doing drugs"

that is not true - let me talk about s3 marissa for a moment (bc this was actually my favorite time of marissa and when she became my favorite character)

the first half of the season she's dealing with what happened in s2 and is at her new school, making friends: casey, johnny and chili. she is close friends with all of them immediately and is there for johnny when he needs someone to talk to and when she can't talk to ryan easily even though she tries. all she does is listen to him and it's not like she's meeting with him secretly but she's waiting for casey, his girlfriend, to come - who's the problem there? the guy who is falling in love with her even though he has a girlfriend or the girl who's been through a lot talking to a friend who understands her and who she understands? also, even though ryan often misunderstands the situation, they talk about it every time and end every episode on a good note. she always tells him the truth about what happened and doesn't lie to him about it (remember that episode where she fell asleep watching a movie with johnny while ryan was getting a lapdance at a stripclub? they both were honest with each other about it and weren't angry). after johnny gets in the accident, which marissa feels very guilty about, she helps him because she's a good friend. so does ryan and so do seth and summer, remember ryan's honorary bar mitzvah to raise money for johnny's operation? they all help him, not just her then kaitlin comes and tries to cause chaos by flirting with johnny. marissa feels strange about that because... okay to be honest i still don't quite understand that plot, but either way, 14-year-old kaitlin shouldn't be flirting with 17-year-old johnny. all marissa wants to do is look out for her friend and when ryan tells her to decide, she writes johnny a letter, telling him she isn't in love with him because she's being asked to choose between her boyfriend and her best friend. honestly, that plot was sad bc she didn't want to be mean to johnny but she also didn't want to break up with ryan because she loves him. then johnny dies, which is partly her fault, and she's obviously sad bc he's one of her best friends and what does ryan do? he doesn't comfort her. he's almost happy that he died and starts kind of flirting with johnny's cousin, sadie (who is one of my least favorite ryan love interests btw). ryan and marissa break up bc it just isn't working between them and the second they break up, ryan is laughing with sadie. marissa talks to volchok but he's the one who's actively seeking her out. bc of all her problems, she starts hanging out with him more and more. there's one episode where she's not nice to summer and where she does drugs (in one scene, i don't know why people act like she's doing it the whole show) and in the episode after that or two episodes after that she apologizes to her family and breaks up with volchok. she apologizes for everything and is ready to work on the boat with jimmy and then she dies. imo, her only problem is that she's too trusting, but that's a good thing in general.

also, in season 1, her father loses all his money, she's kind of forced by her mother to stay in a relationship with luke when she likes ryan, then breaks up with him and when she thinks something's happening between her and ryan, she sees him hooking up with a 24-year-old woman and then goes back to luke. after she's lost her virginity to him and goes to mexico with her friends, she finds out her parents are getting a divorce and then sees her boyfriend she just lost her virginity to cheating on her. then she overdoses. once she's back at school, everyone knows what happened. later on, she meets oliver. she befriends him and ryan doesn't trust him, which he is right not to, but she still trusts him bc they're friends. but ryan is breaking into the school and marissa's locker bc he's suspicious and marissa is understandably uncomfortable with that and breaks up with him. then oliver holds her hostage in his apartment, threatening to shoot himself. afterwards, ryan is cold towards her, which i also understand, but that's still sad for her. then her mother has an affair with luke and obviously marissa is sad about that. then ryan and her get back together and her friends give her room a makeover, which she likes, and then her future stepfather blackmails her into living with him and with her mother and, to top it all of, luke gets in a car accident and i'm sure she feels responsible for that. and then, ryan's ex-girlfriend, theresa, comes into town and she finds out she might be pregnant with ryan's child and then ryan leaves.

i could analyze her s2 journey too but tbh i don't want to rn but i might some other time.

anyway, marissa cooper deserves better