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sweetwritertanya · 4 years ago

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Dressed Up For Halloween (Jungkook)

Summary: You have to work on Halloween and you go dressed as a character your boyfriend likes very much. You are not ready for how worked up he was once you got home.

Warnings: SMUT! There will be: erotic body touching, boob-job, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex (be safe out there!), doggy-style, aftercare.

Word Count: 3181

The idea came to you early in the month, when you were working at the coffee shop your boyfriend and his friends always like to come to, being close to their company and discreet enough that they could enter in small groups without being recognized instantly. There was still the one or another who recognized them, but always manageable. As you came with a bunch of drinks that they ordered to their table, you realized they were planning a movie marathon to get them in the Halloween spirit. And amongst all the movies the group discussed about seeing, Jungkook was very fixated on watching one in particular, saying the name over and over until they agreed it was on the list: The Nightmare Before Christmas.

You made a mental note of it, kissed him on the head, to which he scrunched up his nose as cheeks grew pinker, and went back to do your job.

A quick order online, a trip to the shop to buy some fishnet tights and a new pair of black heel boots, and your outfit for this Halloween was all set up. Not only would your boyfriend appreciate it, it was a good choice for you to wear to your work place, since your boss as asked the employees at the coffee to wear a costume on the 31st, as a way to please costumers.

Halloween came around rather quickly and, much to your frustration, Jungkook actually had half of the day off. He was currently on the living room, playing games in the big screen tv. And, of course, you had the evening shift at the coffee shop, thus you wouldn’t be able to stay with him.

So, here you were, in the bedroom, putting on the colorful dress with mismatched patterns, the fishnets tights and the boots, letting your hair down to resemble the character the best it could, some elongating mascara for your eyelashes and a deep red lipstick. Apart from the blueish skin and all the stitches, you actually resembled her quite nicely. If they ever saw the movie, everyone would certainly recognize who you were.

You get out of the bedroom and into the living room, your boyfriend currently with his back to you, headphones on and focused on the busy screen in front of him while you walked behind the couch in the direction of the door.

“I’m leaving, Kookie. See you later tonight, okay?” you say goodbye with a resented voice.

“Hum? Oh, okay, I-” Jungkook takes off his headphones that fall around his neck as he turns to look at you.

You almost miss his reaction while you grab the coat from the closet at the entrance. The way those round bright eyes enlarge so greatly you can see the full ebony iris, a hint of recognition and astonishment behind that sparkle, how his lips fall apart in the tiniest of openings, straight and thick eyebrows raising up in his forehead. His body sits frozen in the couch, only really reacting when he sees you putting on your coat with a shy smile on your lips.

“You, huh…!” he gets up in a jump, letting go of the controller in his hands and coming to stand in front of you, eyes roaming up and down your voluptuous figure. “You’re dressed up as Sally. You dressed up for Halloween.”

“Yeah” you respond, flattered by the way his eyes keep lingering at you in interest. “My boss told us to bring our best outfit to work on the coffee shop. So, I’m going as Sally.”

“It’s so pretty” he murmurs, almost in a daze until he looks back at your eyes and corrects himself. “You look so pretty, Y/N. As always.”

You giggle at his compliment and lean in to give him a long peck on those uneven lips, adoring their warmth of softness against your own.

“Thank you, baby. I’ll be back before eleven at night” you inform as you step backwards and turn to go out the door.

“What, wait!”

Jungkook stops you by getting a hold of your hand, keeping you from opening the main door and instead you stand back in front of him, with raised eyebrows in surprise and confusion. You recognize the look of disappointment in his eyes, a slight pout already taking over his larger lower lips in the cutest of ways.

“You need to go? Like… Like right now? I only just saw you in your costume.”

“Well, I told you I had to work today, Kookie. And, yeah, I’ll admit I chose this costume because I knew you would like it, but that was before I knew I had to work the late shift” you explain.

But he is not really keen on letting you go and it shows when he effortlessly pulls you close by your hand despite your hefty weight, attaching his hands to your waist and back while his face gets hidden at the crook of your neck. His breath hits your skin as he speaks, creating goosebumps before he kisses it.

“I don’t want you to go. I wanna be the Jack to your Sally” he whines.

As he kisses up your neck and across your soft jaw, you struggle to remain focused and responsible, when in reality all you wanted was to ditch your work and stay home with him.

“Baby, I can’t. I need to go now, but I’ll be back. Just wait for me, okay? I’m all yours then” you assure him, sneaking past his arms with heated cheeks and chills down your spine.

“Promise?” he sulks, albeit letting you go as you open the door.

“Promise.”

He would hold you up to that promise.

As soon as you came back through the front door, barely closing it behind you, he jumps out of nowhere to hold you tight against his muscular arms. You yelp at the abruptness of it all, your purse falling out of your hands as his arms wrap around you like bindweeds, his lips regaining their position across the skin of your jaw and neck as if they never left.

“How was your day?” he asks in a whisper between the kisses at your pulse point, as if it was just a normal conversation.

It takes you a few solid seconds for you to get a grip and process what was happening, realizing he asked you a question you had yet to answer.

“It… It was fine, I think. What… what’s happening?” your confusion is more than evident in your voice as you regain your balance by holding on to Jungkook’s delightedly strong arms.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you since you left” he confesses, leaning back just to stare at your face while his cheeks and earlobes glow red. You find it so puzzling, how he could just jump on you like that and then be this shy when actually looking at you. It made your heart flip. “How pretty you looked. How I wished you would’ve stayed. I couldn’t focus, I didn’t even play my game, I was letting my team down so I logged off.”

“It’s… It’s just a cute Sally outfit, Kookie” you say, blinking as you keep your gaze on his, large hands still holding you close by your lower back.

“It just suits you so well. A-And not just your body! Your personality as well. I never realized it until today. You are my own little Sally who treats me as if I was the center of your world and I never got to show how much I thank you for it.”

You bite your bottom lip and tilt your head at him, wondering how a Halloween outfit could remind him of this, of how much you adored him. But you weren’t about to stop him, for sure.

“Well” you shrug, with a warm smile. “Show me, then.”

He giggles and you chuckle back until the sound dies out just a moment before your lips meet, engaging in caresses that have you standing on your feet and tremors run down your back while you lean in to him. He holds you close and tight, his hands roaming your curvaceous body and brushing over every inch they could, from your rolls to your fluffy bits, squeezing and folding.

You are melting into his touch, heart jumping out of your chest, when his tongue flicks at your top lip, requesting your permission. You gladly give him entrance as you open your mouth and allow him access to every single crevice, tongue twinning with yours making your shudder. He tastes like a spicy nectar that sets your whole body on fire, effortlessly doing so and instigating breathless moans from you when his lips close around your tongue and he sucks on it.

You throw your head back in order to breathe and he attacks your neck instead. You don’t even realize it, but he has taken off your coat, leaving you in the costume’s dress, and is slowly guiding you to the couch. Once your bum hits the back of the couch, your hands grasp at the solid item while his hands found themselves just underneath your breasts.

“As much as I love this dress, can I take it off now?” he questions, one hand already travelling around your back searching for the zipper.

“Yes, please” you authorize, breathless.

He unzips the long zipper at your back while you kiss at his beautiful neck, feeling beneath your lips as he swallows and sighs heavily. Once he does it, he brushes the sleeves down your shoulders and arms, the fabric of the dress gathering at your wide stomach. You stand in order to pull it the rest of the way down and Jungkook takes advantage of your distraction to pull his hoodie off his body in an elegant move.

When you throw the dress away, standing now only in your fishnets and black matching underwear, you look back at him to find him shirtless, strong sculptured muscles on display and your fingers twitch and inner muscles of your belly contract at the sight. Subconsciously, you lick your lips while he takes in your feminine shape, the way your body looked so incredibly soft and warm and welcoming.

“I really love your body, so much” he confesses in a breathy whisper. “Especially these.”

Jungkook’s hands attach themselves to the malleable fat of your breasts, cupping them and watching his fingers sinking in to the flesh, adoring the way he could barely hold them in the palm of his hands. Your back arches into his touch without your control and he begins teasing at your puckered peaks, brushing his thumbs on top of them and tweaking them as if tunning an old radio. You moaned and squirmed, this unbelievable tension forming deep down inside.

With hooded eyes, you follow the lines of his abdominal muscles down with your digits, adoring their hardness that contrasted so much with your softness. Reaching the edge of the sweatpants he was wearing, you can’t help but notice the line of his manhood, growing ever more noticeable.

“Let… Let me try something for you, baby” you decide, having an idea.

Taking hold of his wrists and bringing them down, you grab his shoulders and make him spin so he is the one against the back of the couch now. Slowly, you kiss his neck and descend down his heated body, taking in every shaking breath and gasp as you went. Soon you are on your knees, facing the tent that had formed on his pants. Pulling the sweatpants and boxers down to his ankles at the same time, you are met with his engorged and pulsing dick, crown pink and throbbing the more you looked at it.

“W-What are you- Ohh!”

Jungkook’s question is answered even before he finishes it, as you take hold of your breasts yourself and place them on either side of his cock, pressing into him. With curious eyes, you look up at him, only the tip of his cock peaking through your cleavage. He is blushed and buggy-eyed, breathing through his parted lips.

“Feels good?” you ask.

“Y-Yeah. Very much” he assured you.

And so, you continue with this new technique, getting a hold of it as you study his reactions. He liked when you pressed your tits together, smothering his cock in between them, and started to move them up and down repeatedly. The tip that rarely got to disappear into your cleavage seemed left out, so you took it upon yourself to lick at the little crown and, when you felt his legs shudder at that, you even began to suck and take it into your mouth the best you could, tongue swirling around it.

“A-Ahh… Y-Y/N, come here!”

He pulls your body up smoothly by your arms, squishing you into him as he kisses you deep and passionately, tasting himself on your tongue. He swirls you two around and, once more, you are the one against the back of the couch.

“Let me return the favor” he murmurs against your bruised lips.

Falling to his knees, you squeal as he begins leaving deep kisses alongside your tick thighs, hands caressing the sides of them as his head made its way in between them, kissing up the inner part. His fingers hook around the fishnets and the panties you were still wearing, pulling them off swiftly when you lift your rump to help him do so.

His strong hands grab you by the knees and push them apart, revealing your needy core to him. Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to delve his head in, mouth coming in contact with your folds and tongue delving in between them, flicking the drenching silky-smooth flesh. Your body jolts at that first touch and you cry out, one hand of yours clawing at the couch while the other grasps at the fluffy hair on top of head. He starts moving his tongue, up and down your slit, swirling it around your hole and you can’t help it, you are pushing him in, wanting more and more. Your pussy is clenching under the amount of unbelievable tension that has formed, as if it was a giant knot that continuously has its strings being pulled, bound to crumble eventually.

Jungkook’s hands keep your thighs steady as they struggle to not suffocate him, your body resisting the urge to close them around his head. He keeps slurping on your juices and moving his face around in the most infuriatingly pleasurable way, making you moan and whimper out loud, his nose rubbing at that incredibly sensitive button every time he moved.

Your whole body felt like it was catching fire and you could feel your insides clenching around nothing as he tirelessly persisted. You wanted – no, you needed – more.

“Kook…! Jungkook, stop” you say, and he leans back to look up at you, dark blown-out eyes and red lips coated in your essence. “I want you, now, Jungkook.”

He smiles as he gets up, almost smugly, before asking you to turn around with a twist of his wrist. You place your forearms on the couch’s back to brace yourself and present your ass up to him, wiggling it as your legs kept creating some friction for your throbbing center. You mewl as Jungkook’s body bends over yours, his torso warming up your bare back and arms wrapped around your protruding stomach while his length rubbed against your slit.

“Ready?” he asks before kissing at the back of your shoulder.

“Yeah” you respond.

He enters you then, slowly inch by inch, as if savoring every moment, every feeling of your walls stretching out for him as he delved a bit deeper. When he reached balls deep, a tremor cursed through your body as his tip was placed against your cervix, the most stirring feeling cursing through your body and short-circuiting your brain.

You can tell he is trying to take it slow, kissing down your back as his hips thrusted back and forth in strong and deep movements, but not quick. It was still enough to have you gasping at every time he reached deep, the tension building leisurely. But once he finished kissing the skin of your back, standing back up and placing his hands on your wide hips, watching your skin jiggle every time he plunged into your tight pussy, the rhythm accelerated. And your hips started to move too, meeting him halfway as you raced to your end too.

“Ahh… Faster, Jungkook! Fast, baby, faster” you beg in a whiny voice, backing your hips up into his.

His answer, rather than words, ends up being a grunt and his subsiding actions. Jungkook leans back down above your chest only for his hands to come and squeeze at your hanging tits, while his hips snapped faster and faster against yours, his twitching shaft dragging against your walls persistently and stimulating all the right spots as it did so.

The sounds are lewd to say the least, your breathless moans and his grinding groans, the rapid sound of skin against skin and the squelching, revealing exactly how immensely drenched you were for him. Your back arches and you lean your head against the couch as you feel the edge approaching with each push of his cock against your cervix, crown finding that particular spot that made you an absolute mess.

Jungkook pinches and rubs at your nipples as he struggles to keep the human-defying quick thrusts, only to succumb to his own need and release his hot seed in several pumps into your core once he felt your walls collapsing impossibly tight around his cock, sucking him dry.

Both of you reach your climaxes at the same exact time, you crying out his name while he bit down on your shoulder and squeezed your tits so tightly you had to check the next day if he left marks. You felt his warm thick essence fill your womb as your body shook with the waves of absolute bliss crashing down on you. It took you both a while to regain control over your bodies.

Jungkook slips out and you hear him running out into the kitchen. You turn around in time to see him come back with a towel in his hand, a guilty expression on his bashful face.

“Sorry. Here, to clean up.”

He hands you the towel and you gently clean the juices running down your legs and the few drops already on the floor.

“No worries, I had every intention of taking a shower once I got home, anyway” you appease him.

Jungkook brings you in for a hug and kisses your temple before starting to gather the clothes thrown on the floor.

“Can I join?”

You chuckle.

“Of course.”

It was in the middle of a very relaxing shower that you hear him gasping loudly and, worried, you look back at him.

“What is it?”

“Oh no… After today, there is no way I can see The Nightmare Before Christmas with the guys ever again!”

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imaginesandinserts · 4 years ago

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Irreverent Pt. 47 - Seven Devils

Title: Irreverent Pt. 47 - Seven Devils

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: M Words: ~11K

Irreverent Series Masterlist

You'd just arrived at the airport when you got the call from Clyde informing you that there was a terror alert across the EU and flights were being grounded. He'd coordinate agents on the ground but there wasn't much you could do from the States, so you were off the hook until things got figured out.

Great, now what? *------------* Aaron walked towards the plane with the rest of the team, with Reid already spouting facts around unsubs who preferred to shoot their victims from a distance rather than up close. He climbs up the steps and turning, is greeted by you, seated in your usual chair. "Hey, what're you doing here?" He walks up towards you, the rest of the team following close behind, equally surprised to see you. "EU terror alert," you explain while he stashes his luggage away, nodding hello to everyone else. "Clyde said I'm free for the time being and I was already at the airport. Garcia read me in." "Well, it'll be good to have you, kid." Rossi takes a seat in the aisle across from you guys. "Seems like an all hands on deck sort of situation." Everyone settles in and you can't help but notice the small smile that seems to linger on Aaron ever since he saw you. The two of you had only had the past three days together and throughout that, you'd had a soccer match for Jack, a birthday party for one of his friends, and you'd spent Saturday night with the girls; needless to say, it had been tough to get time together for just the two of you. "Was Jack okay?" you ask, turning to Aaron after everyone had finished talking through some of the case details and started to build a preliminary profile on the Unsub. Aaron nods, but your question catches JJ's attention, who looks to you with her eyebrows raised, the puzzled expression on her face imploring you to explain. You're unable to help the smirk that plays at your lips as you do. "We had a - um - staff meeting this morning that Jack wasn't invited to. He wasn't too happy that the door was locked," you explain, biting your lip and barely stifling your giggles. "A staff meeting?" Emily raises her eyebrows at you and you can just imagine the dirty thoughts running through her mind along with the Wow Y/N only soccer moms call getting railed a staff meeting. You meet Aaron's eye and you can see the soft blush to his cheeks that only you would notice. "I simultaneously regret and appreciate my choice of words there," you murmur to him as he shakes his head in amused disapproval. Derek barks out a laugh in reaction to Emily. "Uh huh. Was it a successful meeting?" he asks, wagging his eyebrows at you, toeing the line at ribbing Aaron as well. "I think both parties were pleased with the outcome. At least according to my notes." You turned to look at Aaron, mirth flitting into your gaze. "Would you concur?" He has a small smirk on his face mirroring yours, no doubt thinking back to the fifteen minutes the two of you had caught together before you had to get ready to leave for the airport - once against the aforementioned locked bedroom door and a second in the shower, before you begged him to relent, otherwise you'd be late. He'd been intent on a third. "Some good points were made. However, we might have to do a follow up to ensure we're still aligned," he drawls, getting far too much enjoyment out of the effect his words and low voice would have on you. You lose it at that, unable to keep a straight face. Follow up indeed. "Gross. I feel like I just watched my parents flirting." JJ groans, pushing up from her seat to go rummage around for snacks in the back. She was due anytime now and would be gone on maternity leave starting the following week. She was already mostly out of the field, staying in the precinct and managing the team from there. You knew, that as a result of that, Aaron was actually out in the field a lot more because he trusted JJ to handle the emotions and politics of local officials far better than anyone else. "Morgan, could you check if we're stocked on the M4 ammunition?" Aaron switches gears towards preparing for the landing, a quick brush of his hand to your thigh in promise that there would indeed be a follow up to this morning's activities. Derek nods and gets up, checking on the rifles stock that was brought along. With an Unsub like this, the team would need to be equally equipped to handle any situations that might arise, especially in a sprawling Texas city where guns were aplenty. "Guys," Spencer pipes up, "I don't think I'm actually allowed to use those." He glances around at the rest of the team apprehensively, as Derek and Aaron share a calculated look at his admission. "You're not," they both tell him almost simultaneously, drawing a snort from both you and Emily while Rossi merely smiles and shakes his head, turning his head back to his notes. Reid looks offended and turns on you at that. "Are you certified to shoot those?" His tone implied that he highly doubted you. "I've been shooting since I was six years old," you inform him, a superior look on your face. "I actually set the Academy record for most weapons certifications earned by a trainee." Aaron presses his lips together to keep from smiling while Emily shakes her head with a laugh at you goading Reid. "I didn't know six year olds were allowed to handle guns." "If you're rich in Connecticut, you can do pretty much anything. Just look at the Kennedys." "Touché."

Spencer grumbles to himself a bit more, slouching into his chair. It was his one weak point and he was getting better at it, really. On pretty much everything else, you're sure he'd have you beat.

You turn towards the research you'd been conducting on your own case with Clyde, in your downtime. Things were starting to fit together in an unexpected manner, and you'd had to bend a few rules to start putting all the different pieces in, but you were finally making some headway. It would definitely be faster and easier if you could enlist Garcia's help or bounce ideas off of Aaron, but your hands were unfortunately tied due to the high level of clearance you'd had to obtain to work this case in the first place.

Aaron watches as your head is bent in concentration, his own focus flickering away from the case ahead. You'd only been home for three days but you'd mentioned that your assignment at last had an end in sight. He's hopeful that that means things will be calming down - the two of you would be around one another more again. While Jack had so far done a good job of keeping the secret, he also gave his father a very telling, excited look anytime he saw you, and Aaron could often see Jack's eyes going to your hand where he hoped a ring would soon sit.

*------------*

All of the bodies thus far had been found at the grounds of various places of worship around the city - a few Churches, a Temple, and a Mosque. It would appear most of the actual killings had happened at a different location and the bodies were then moved and left to be found the next morning by unsuspecting worshippers, children, and groundskeepers. The Unsub was an equal opportunity killer - no discrimination in the religious leanings of his victims.

So far the victimology was all over the board - a college student, a local politician, a priest, a housewife, and a video game developer were the five victims so far. It read like the beginnings of a bad joke. A rabbi, a priest, and a horse walk into a bar…

The Unsub had left the bodies of each victim at their chosen place of worship. That, in itself, felt highly personal so there was a chance that the Unsub personally knew each of their victims. This was supported by the methodology - killing the victims from afar was easier on this particular Unsub's constitution.

The team had been spitballing; attempting to establish a connection between the victims. Reid and JJ were working on the geographic profile. Well, Spencer was at least. JJ kept having to leave to go to the restroom every five minutes. In that moment, you definitely did not envy pregnant women. Bearing children wrecked one's body.

The obvious religious themes were all in scope. The theory at the forefront was that each of the victims was being punished for a perceived sin, and Garcia was doing a deeper dive into their finances and online history while the rest of you got to know the families and the victims personally to wrangle out the truth. This was the most difficult part usually - even if someone was an awful person whilst alive, most people became reluctant to speak ill of the dead.

Trusting JJ to handle the centralized headquarters that the team had set up, Aaron left with you to do one set of the interviews. He wanted to speak to the parishioners of the church where the priest had been found, his body jutting out of the confessional booth. You both noted that it was on the opposite side from where the priests would typically sit, symbolically speaking to the fact that the Unsub considered the priest to be a sinner.

"I mean, he's a priest in a Catholic church," you said as the two of you walked up the pathway to the entrance. "The obvious definitely comes to mind."

Aaron agrees with a grimace. Father Patrick had led a youth group and had been doing so for the past decade. There was a high chance the Unsub could be a current or prior victim of sexual assault at his hands. He could also be someone whom a potential victim had confided in, so your suspect list was pretty wide open for the time being.

As suspected, every conversation you had - with church docents and members alike - was highly complimentary to Father Patrick. He was good with the children, kind to the female staff, had a fairly middle ground interpretation of the Bible; an all-around pillar of the community.

"Hopefully Morgan and Prentiss have better luck."

You nod, buckling in your seatbelt and commandeering the music, electing to actually play the White Album for once, drawing a smile from Aaron. He pulls out of the parking space and heads back towards the precinct. You smile to yourself as Aaron's deep voice croons along to Dear Prudence, his fingers tapping along to the beat against the steering wheel while you look out the window at the twilight Texas sky.

*------------*

"So, the girl, Rachel - total know-it-all, not unlike someone else we know…"

Reid glares at Emily as she trails off with a smirk. Her and Derek had gone to do another set of the interviews at the local university and had talked to classmates and professors to learn more about the first victim.

"We all have our suspicions about Father Patrick, but nothing conclusive there. The Councilwoman was taking bribes to block the legislation around the city's free internet policy per Garcia's research. That leaves Mrs. Abad and Ryan Cohen, the designer. We can't tell what their secret might've been, besides some high balances on a credit card for Mrs. Abad."

The team nods at Hotch, confirming his summary of the case so far.

"JJ and I have narrowed down the field to three epicenters across the city." You're surprised that Spencer gave JJ any credit at all for the work they'd done together. JJ had confided in you upon your return, that she'd told Spencer she was going to the bathroom and had instead taken a twenty minute power nap in a supply closet. Her maternity leave could not start soon enough, and you're glad that she's handling this pregnancy in a much more relaxed manner than the first, allowing herself the time off properly.

"Based on the current cadence, we could have another victim in the next couple of days." Rossi looks around the room grimly. You're all well aware that the window to catch the Unsub before another victim materializes is closing quickly. It also usually tends to speed up once the team arrives on the scene. Makes Unsubs nervous. Eager to finish the job faster.

"Would you say Councilwoman Crane was guilty of the sin of greed?" Derek's brow is furrowed, the beginnings of a concrete thought evident in his question.

You nod, encouraging him to continue.

"Pride for the first victim, Rachel."

You agree again, but this time the rest of them are also following along.

"Seven Deadly Sins," Spencer surmises from Derek's trail of crumbs.

"What are all of them?" Emily asks, looking between Derek and Spencer.

Derek shifts from one foot to the other. "Pride, Greed," he lists off, counting with his thumb and index finger.

"Lust, Envy," Aaron supplies, tacking on to the end of Derek's sentence and prompting him to continue the count.

"Gluttony, Wrath, and Sloth," Spencer finishes, turning to write them all down in order on the whiteboard.

The team was finally making some headway.

You stand towards the back of the room looking at the victim board, arms crossed across your chest, leaning against the back wall. "So, let's assume its Lust for Father Patrick. The excessive shopping could be indicative of Envy from Mrs. Abad. You guys did say she lived in a posh neighborhood. Keeping Up With the Joneses lifestyle."

"That leaves Gluttony for Cohen. Kid was pudgy." Rossi had been the one to visit the Medical Examiner, so you all trusted his assessment there.

"They're all in order. Could it be that simple?" Aaron questions, leaned forward in his chair, looking at the board with each of the victims' names listed next to one of the sins.

You contemplate his question as does everyone else. Could it be that simple? An Unsub working down the list of deadly sins, picking out victims that aligned with each one. It would stand to reason, given the working profile - you'd all decided that the Unsub must have an Orthodox religious upbringing, in a militant household.

"Occam's Razor," you answer finally, meeting his eyes, a grim set to your face. This meant there were at least two more victims planned. "The simplest explanation is usually the right one."

*------------*

In the past couple of days, the team had narrowed down the scope of the case, having realized that the Unsub had met all of the victims through various volunteer activities. The working theory was that the Unsub had deemed the victims to all be hypocrites - claiming to be doing charitable works while sinning on the side.

Garcia had cross-referenced volunteer activities between the various places of worship and had come up with charities that all of them supported throughout the city. From there she'd catalogued registered volunteers across all of them, against activities each of the victims attended, however hadn't been able to narrow it down enough.

So, here you were manning the precinct late at night with Aaron, Derek, and Emily. The team was taking it in shifts to see if any missing persons calls came in, with victims fitting into either of the final two remaining sins - Wrath and Sloth. Unfortunately, there were simply far too many options for you to be able to determine who might become the unwitting victim in this Unsub's crusade.

It was calm and quiet, only the whirring of the fan and ambient sounds of the printer filling the silence. The four of you had already eaten and were all nursing hot cups of coffee in order to stay awake in the otherwise empty station. Public statements had been made and hotlines set up in case anyone could provide even a hint as to who the Unsub might be.

Emily was slouched over at the table, her arms cradling her head as another yawn escaped her. Bleary eyed, she looks at you and you weren't much better off, only barely keeping your eyes open, tilting back in your own chair in order to simulate the feeling of tipping over; effectively scaring yourself into staying awake. Derek was seated in front of the laptop, with Garcia on video. The two of them had been playing some game, however it appeared that she'd tired of it, being nearly two hours of a time difference ahead of the rest of you. So now, Derek was just watching her snooze, head bent down to her desk.

You look at Aaron, reading the notes Reid had left behind in order to try and make some sense of everything - uncover something that had slipped through the cracks. His brow is furrowed, head bent in concentration. He'd shed the jacket a while ago and despite the time of year, the Texan climate had forced him to roll up the sleeves of his shirt, exposing delicious swathes of forearm for your perusal. His hands - so large compared to your own, the veins prominent as he flips a page, muscle tensing and flexing as he does. You have to bite your lip to suppress a moan. It was the sleep deprivation. It was getting to you. Yeah, that's it. Not your big, strong boyfriend looking all serious and focused and handsome as he tries to hunt down a serial killer. Nope. Not at all…

You stand up suddenly as your chair tips forward, all four legs finally hitting the ground with a soft crash, cushioned by the carpeted flooring. Loud enough, however, to get Aaron's attention, as he turns to look up at you, the Are you alright? plain to read in his eyes.

"Need fresh air. Gonna go take a walk around the block or something," you explain, shaking your head of the cobwebs that had formed over the course of the past two hours, as the night had slipped into what could better be classified as early morning.

Aaron sets the papers down and turns to Morgan, indicating that he was going to join you. If you thought he was letting you go out alone, at this hour, with a killer on the loose, you were certifiable.

He watches as you slip on your blazer but he doesn't bother with his own. It would be quick and it wasn't too cold anymore. He follows you through the precinct and out the front doors, down the steps, matching your shorter pace easily - he's used to it by now.

"You sure you're alright?" he asks, once the two of you have reached the street. You merely hum tiredly and nod, so he grabs your hand in his, and walks in step with you, turning the corner past the precinct.

It is a little colder outside than it was inside, but his larger hand encompasses yours entirely, making you feel like a child swathed in his warm embrace. The cool air filters through your nostrils, reinvigorating your mind, giving it the jumpstart needed to function once more.

The two of you don't talk as you walk hand in hand down the sidewalk, him walking on the outside as he always does. Only the streetlamps are on, little pockets of light between stretches of darkness. Your mind is at peace. You aren't thinking about this case or your other one. You aren't thinking about any responsibilities and obligations. No worries. Just silent. It's so rare for your mind to be quiet that you relish in it. Allow yourself to bathe in the soundless symphony occupying the chasm in your brain.

As you approach the final turn that will lead you back to the entrance of the station, you find yourself watching Aaron again. He'd been so patient with the entire case with Interpol, despite it taking a toll on him. He'd been pulling double duty - doing all the things he does while also subbing in for everything you're unable to do at home. Him and Jack had sent you a cooking video of the two of them last time you'd been away, as Jack bossed Aaron around in the kitchen and helped him make your chocolate chip cookies for the bake sale at school. You'd sent Aaron detailed instructions, as he'd have to be the one to help Jack brown the butter and ensure he didn't burn himself. You knew he must have been frustrated with the extremely particular list of ingredients you'd sent him, down to the brand of salt flakes (the pièce de résistance of the entire experience) that got sprinkled on top. Yet, he'd tackled it all with aplomb, not complaining to you even once. Jack had confided in you afterwards that Aaron had had to go to three different stores because the salt flakes were a rare item and not every branch of the nicer grocery store carried them. He'd done it though, and Jack had told you they'd turned out exactly like yours. Even Emily had texted you to validate this, asking if you'd come back without telling her when Aaron had brought a batch in for the team the following day.

Aaron feels a tug on his hand right before the turn. You'd stopped and his hand was still holding yours, forcing him to stop as well. You're stood in the shadows, right between two patches of light, your face immersed in darkness, and before he can say anything, he's lightly pushed against the brick wall exterior of the police station building. He lands with a soft oomph. You lean up against him, pressing yourself along the length of him and going up on your toes - utilizing the entirety of your ballet training - your lips meeting his in a heated kiss. He groans into your mouth, hands wrapping around your hips on instinct alone, tongue tracing your bottom lip before gently nipping at it, taking advantage of your resulting gasp to make his way into your mouth, licking every part of you available to him. He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around him and turns to hold you against the wall instead, pressing into the inviting warm juncture of your thighs.

"What brought this on?" he hums, moving from your lips to your jaw, down the column of your neck, his teeth grazing your collarbone.

You shiver at his efforts, a flip in your stomach as you feel the edge of his teeth, followed by the soft bite at the bend of your neck. Unable to answer him, lost in the feeling of his lips and teeth against your skin, your hands mussing through his hair, softly pulling and drawing vibrated groans from him.

At the absence of an answer, he pauses, looking up until he has your full attention, meeting your darkened eyes contrasting against your bashful expression. Your breath hitches when his eyes meet yours. "I love you," you muster with some concentration, soft and blissful, pulling his face back down to meet your sweetly puckered lips once more, drawing him into the cacophonous sea of feeling along with you.

By the time the two of you make it back to the conference room that Derek and Emily were sat in, Emily has stood up, leaning flat against the back wall. Derek has moved as well, taking residence in your old chair, leaning backwards much the same way you had.

"What about you guys?" he asks as you and Aaron enter.

You avoid Emily's knowing look. "What about us?"

"This whole thing - case - heaven and hell. You believe in it?"

"I went the agnostic route," Emily adds, stretching and arching her back like a cat. "If it exists, great. If not, no skin off my back."

Derek looks at the two of you expectantly.

Aaron nods quickly, returning to his old seat, feeling a lot lighter than before. He'd grown up Catholic - heaven and hell were ever-present concepts in his home.

You shrug, grabbing your lukewarm cup of coffee and dropping onto the couch. Your family had been more religious for the sake of appearances and connections rather than any true faith-inspired feelings.

Derek chuckles lightly. "Okay, so if they do exist," he says, turning back to Emily who had sunk down to the floor, seated with her legs stretched out in front of her. "Where you think you're headed?"

"Let me guess, you think you're going to heaven," Emily taunts, a mocking grin on her face.

"I do good, I am good," Derek replies assuredly. "Everything else is up to God. Right, Hotch?"

Aaron breathes out half a laugh along with a raise of his brows, which was about as much agreement Derek could hope for there.

"What about you Princess?"

You look at him, slight roll of your eyes to the ceiling. "Pretty sure patricide rules me out for a ticket to heaven," you respond, your words coated with sardonic dismissal.

Heaven. Hell. What did it even matter when you're dead?

It was a good thing that you hadn't looked at Aaron at that, because if you had, you would've noticed an entirely odd expression on his face at your words - he decides to pin his thoughts for a conversation at a later time. Once the case was wrapped up.

*------------*

"Anything you know could help us identify your husband's killer. Were you able to get a good look at him?"

JJ and Derek are running the interrogation on the latest victim's wife while the rest of the team watches from the other room. The body had been found at the edges of yet another church's grounds, marking it as the sixth victim. However, this time, a witness had emerged. The Unsub had taken Dylan Rogers from his front yard at gunpoint and Ashley Rogers, his wife, had seen it all happen from the living room before calling it in to the precinct.

"She seems tense - her shoulders have been hunched this entire time. Her facial expressions have varied from somber to haunted almost." Reid shifts closer as he profiles Mrs. Rogers, studying her body language.

"Morgan said it seemed like he might have hit her. He saw some bruising when she went to the house to pick her up," Prentiss adds, her voice grave.

Aaron acknowledges both Reid and Prentiss with a nod, his eyes fixed on the interaction taking place in the other room.

"Would fit into the umbrella of Wrath." Rossi mused from beside Aaron. All of you continue to watch while JJ brings in a sketch artist to help Mrs. Rogers construct a likeness of the Unsub.

"It must be killing her - if it's true. Having to help find his killer. Imagine the number of times she must've dreamt of hurting him in the same way he hurt her." All of you turn from Emily back to Mrs. Rogers, thinking on her statement.

"She could've left," Reid reasoned distractedly, his expression casually appraising Mrs. Rogers still for any signs that she might be concealing anything.

You find yourself bristling at that, and you've spoken out before you could stop yourself. "You know, it's funny how whenever we see cases like this. Cases where a man continuously beat up his partner, that's the question on everyone's lips. Why didn't she leave? Why did she stay?"

Reid turns to you, his mouth open and ready to contradict you or apologize, you're unsure, but you continue. "We never ask, why didn't he stop?"

Emily snorts from beside you, her lips pressed tightly together as you both watch Mrs. Rogers working with the sketch artist. She turns to Spencer after a look at you. "Because we accept men as monsters. That is their natural state. Those of them that didn't give in to it - we exalt them. We call them good men. Better men. Because they didn't beat us and hurt us and watch us bleed."

There's a tense silence but this is a sentiment that none of them are unfamiliar with. Reid should've known better.

You see Spencer shift uncomfortably, obviously apologetic for his earlier statement. You shake your head slightly and offer him a small smile, reassuring him that he's alright. This kind of stuff, just hits closer to home for some of you.

Your eyes meet Aaron's and he's looking at you with the question in his eyes that you'd expected as soon as you'd opened your mouth. You shake your head at him too, before turning your gaze back to the front.

Aaron watches you for a beat more, his eyes trained to the side of your face, your unwavering eyes set upon Ashley Rogers and your words swimming in his mind. His eyes had asked the question that he already knew the answer to unfortunately. Yet another reason for him to despise Matthew van Doren's entire existence.

"You know, there was a time I thought he was the love of my life." You all can hear Mrs. Rogers talking to JJ as the sketch artist wraps up. "We had that love - that wake up Sunday morning with pancakes and lose yourself in each other under white sheets kind of love. I don't know when it all went wrong."

*------------*

With the aid of Mrs. Rogers' description, Garcia was able to run a digitally enhanced version of the sketch against all known volunteers who had been at most of the events attended by each of the victims in the weeks prior to their deaths. After that, apprehending the Unsub was just a matter of tying together the identified man to each of the victims directly.

The team was able to prevent the final murder, and while that was of little solace to everyone, there was a tiny part of you that felt happy for Ashley Rogers in all of it. Sometimes the exit route we need arrives in the most unexpected of manners, and it is on us to recognize it and seize it for ourselves. You really hoped that Ashley would claim a new and better destiny for herself.

Since it was late, Aaron was unable to get the jet to fly back the same night, so the team was huddled into a corner of the hotel lounge with drinks in hand. While you're thrilled that you were able to prevent the final victim from being taken, this wasn't the best case the team had worked. You can see it in everyone's eyes, the way they hold their drinks, the hushed whispers contemplating if there was something that would've pointed to him sooner.

You feel bad that you aren't even really thinking about this case anymore. Your mind is preoccupied by the contents of the file you've left upstairs in the hotel room. You nod along to Emily and Derek's conversation, glass of wine held languidly in hand while you mentally collate the work you'd done so far. You know you're contributing nothing to the current conversation, and mercifully both of them have left you to your thoughts. Knowing there's not much chance of you being able to distract yourself tonight, you stand and bid good night to them before walking over to Aaron and Rossi, seated over a chessboard with Reid. They were playing two against one and Reid was still the favored choice to win.

"I'm going to head upstairs." You lean in and whisper softly to Aaron so as to not disrupt the game.

He turns his head to look up, brow furrowed ever so much. It wasn't like you to turn in early when there was a chance to socialize with the team. "I can come with." He grabs his drink as though to finish it, but you stop him with a hand to his shoulder.

"It's alright. Stay." You brush a kiss against his temple before nodding good night to the rest of them, intent on making some progress once you reached the room.

By the time Aaron gets upstairs, it is much later. Reid had won but Rossi had insisted on a rematch. Rossi just wanted to see Reid beat just once, however Aaron was wise to not bring attention to the fact that you've never played him. He knows that Reid has asked you, but you've made up excuses to not play. He'd always wondered about that, and having seen the chessboard in the New York apartment had made him realize that there was actually a good chance that you could beat Reid if you wanted to. Reid was a genius. That fact couldn't be denied. He knew everything about everything. You were different from that. Reid was driven by his pure drive for knowledge - that desire to understand the world around him better. You learned with more purpose, intention - with the need to add knowledge and skills to your toolkit, ready to whip out and be unleashed upon your opponents.

He enters the room just to see you exiting the bathroom, a robe wrapped around your body. He can't help but sigh internally at the sight. His soft, fluffy, perfect little personal teddy bear. He couldn't wait to just crawl into bed, already fearing that you'd be on another flight out the following day.

You acknowledge his presence with a smile, while toweling your hair dry.

"Who won?" There's a crooked smile on your face as you watch him take off his jacket and tie. As if you didn't already know who would win.

"Reid. Rossi wants another rematch on the plane." He shakes his head, walking further into the room. Closer to you.

You laugh softly as Aaron reaches you, looking exhausted from the long week and yet, he seems alright. All in all, this case hadn't been absolutely terrible. "Hasn't he learned his lesson by now?"

"He's a glutton for punishment." He steps forward, grabbing the towel from you and prompting you to turn around as he takes over drying your hair with soft tussles, allowing the cloth to absorb water all the way from root to end.

You hum at his actions, letting yourself to be lulled into the peaceful, floaty state that you always enter whenever he plays with your hair. It just felt too good.

"You should just give in and play him sometime." He knows he's pulling at that little thread there, curious as to how you'll react at him having deduced something you hadn't told him upfront.

You merely chuckle softly, seemingly unsurprised that he'd worked that out for himself. His profiling skills no longer surprise you much, especially when it comes to yourself. He could read you like none other. "We wouldn't want Spencer to cry, now would we?"

Aaron bites his lip, preventing a smile threatening to sneak out at that. It was nice knowing he'd been right about that. He'd have to make you play him at least. He needed to see how good you were for himself.

You turn around, halting his actions. You'd gotten a call from Clyde when you'd gotten upstairs and you were already set to fly out tomorrow on a red eye. You'd booked the ticket, making the necessary upgrades on your own dime.

"Tomorrow?" he guessed, noting the expression on your face when you looked up at him, drawing yourself up on your toes and wrapping your arms around his neck, the towel slipping from his hands and onto the floor between your feet.

You nod with a sigh, before coaxing him down, and he's quick to meet your lips with his own, knowing the two of now only have tonight. Tomorrow would be spent on the plane and then you'd have to fly out before he'd get even another hour alone with you. His hands instinctively find your waist, drawing you in flush against him. He deepens the kiss when one of your hands moves from his neck to cup his cheeks, thumb brushing over the peaking stubble around his jaw. You hate leaving like this. You can't wait for it to be over. For there to be no more goodbyes layering his touch and yours.

Aaron hugs you closer, wrapping his arms around you fully, the plush robe giving him far more to grab on to. Your lips against his, moving softly, insistently. You break away, struggling to be on your toes for much longer, so he moves, pushing you up onto the desk and coming to stand between your legs as your lips find their place once more against his, this time hands working at the buttons to his shirt as well.

"Wanted to talk to you about something." He breaks away, allowing you to pepper kisses down his jaw and the column of his neck. If the two of you only had today, he didn't want to risk forgetting and having the issue go stale before bringing it up again. He can feel your mouth, sucking, teeth lightly grazing the skin at his collarbone, undoubtedly leaving marks for him to admire afterwards when you were gone. At your hum, he continues relying on your ability to multitask. "Did you mean it, when you said you aren't going to heaven?"

You pause, looking up at him curiously and being reminded of the question Derek had asked. You hadn't realized it had affected Aaron, and yet thinking back on it, of course it had. Your answer had been entirely flippant. He was so serious when it came to things like this. "Yes. I did." Your voice is measured as you answer him, eyeing him carefully to watch his reaction. Even still, his hands have managed past the tie on your robe and his hands are caressing the bare skin of your sides, drawing a soft sigh from your mouth at the sensation. "By any definition of heaven and God and the Bible, murder isn't exactly condoned."

Had this been a few months ago, Aaron knew that this would have been an entirely different conversation. He could appreciate how entirely blunt you're able to be about how you've framed this for yourself. He might not agree with it, but he can appreciate the honesty. "Bible also says an eye for an eye." He raises an eyebrow at you, indicating that he wasn't about to let this go. Not when it came to the matter of your immortal soul. This mattered to him.

A gasp escapes you as his hands travel up your sides more deliberately, causing shivers against your sensitive skin at the feel of his roughly calloused fingers skimming, exploring, claiming. That's what his touch always felt like. A claim.

You try to focus as you think of a response, hands resuming unbuttoning his shirt and undoing the buckle to his belt. You can see he's already hard and as your fingers ghost over the bulge, he exhales sharply, eyes focused on your hands.

Realizing he wasn't getting an answer from you immediately, he helps you out by undoing the button and lowering the zipper on his pants, taking them off as you watch. You're a little confused by the conversation taking place, but you also knew this going into a relationship with Aaron. Like it or not, he was religious. Your family simply hadn't been much. It wasn't the same religious orthodoxy that Aaron had grown up with, at the very least. He wasn't by any means stringent about it, but some beliefs were innate. Good people go to heaven. Bad people go to hell. As far as he was concerned, you were a good person.

"Heaven and hell - I didn't grow up with that. But that whole eye for an eye thing, I don't think that really applies when it comes to taking a life." You help him slip the shirt off of his shoulders as you speak, the material slipping and falling to the ground as well. Aaron actually undoes the tie to your robe this time, pushing the material off of you almost roughly, eager to expose skin that he couldn't wait to taste. His hands move up to cup your breasts, kneading the flesh - the air in the room and his attentions causing your nipples to pucker, teasing him. He's unable to resist bending down and taking one into his mouth, gently sucking as his fingers tweak the other into submission as well, drawing a keening sound from deep within you, distracting you from your train of thought as you're drenched in the warmth of his touch.

You're entirely bare before him as his mouth moves to the other nipple, hands traveling down, grazing over your stomach and down your thighs, causing them to tremble. He pushes your legs apart, letting go of the nipple, his mouth returning to yours with a renewed fervor. His fingers pick up the evidence of your arousal around them, and he caresses your folds, before entering you with two fingers, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing over it as his fingers scissor inside you, locating the spot that has you arching your back, moans escaping you into his mouth.

Aaron releases your mouth so that he can watch you. Your hands scramble for purchase, bunching into the robe beneath you that soaks up your juices as he continues to work you up. Higher and higher. Your breath panting, breasts thrust up as you can feel the orgasm threatening to overtake your body. It only takes another circular motion of his thumb and the ask to Let go by him, for you to go crashing under the waves, your walls pulsing around his fingers. He watches you fall apart, your arms going up to hug against your breasts as you arch and shake and moan for him, his name falling from your lips repeatedly as he continues his machinations against your sensitive bud, intent on drawing it out. He loves to just watch you like this. Begging him to keep going, your breathy voice urging him on, your gorgeous face, mouth falling open - all for him. His beautiful little princess, entirely at his mercy.

He kisses you again as you come down, your earlier conversation entirely wiped from your mind. But not his. Never his. Aaron could focus and keep track of things in amazing order. He hated that you thought you weren't destined for heaven. It shouldn't matter - such an abstract concept and who even knew, really. But in the off chance it did, he didn't want you to think you'd be excluded. You couldn't be.

Your jelly arms and legs wrap around him and he's already worked down his boxers, revealing his thick, hard cock, eager to be buried inside you. He gathers you up in his arms, pulling you to the edge of the desk, before lifting you up and moving the two of you to the bed, managing to drop you onto it sideways, before quickly climbing on top.

You move your hands to card through his hair, watching him, his lovely brown eyes looking down at you, causing a flurry of emotion in your stomach. He leans down and slots his lips against yours once more, allowing you to get lost in the feel of him. You release him with a gasp, finding it difficult to take in air, and he allows you to breathe as he moves and presses a kiss to your shoulder, entering you in one quick thrust. "Genesis 9:5 says, for your lifeblood, I will surely demand an accounting."

What? You couldn't believe him. He was quoting the fucking Bible while buried in you to the hilt.

"Aaron - "

You're cut off as he moves out, the tip of his cock rubbing against your clit, distractingly. Perfectly. Fuck.

He enters you again, harshly, his cock finding that spot inside you as he does. His voice deep and guttural, a groan falling from his mouth as he invades you fully once more. "From each man, I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man."

He was still doing it. How could he even remember to quote the Bible right then?! You couldn't even remember your own name.

You don't have the words as Aaron continues, pumping into you, his hand finding your clit to help you reach your peak faster. Neither one of you would last long. You're already a trembling, shuddering mess beneath him, back arched up, feet planted against the mattress for support, your hands traveling and touching any skin of his they could reach.

You can feel his breath hot against your ear, the weight of him on top of you as he ruts his hips against yours, and you can tell he's close. So very close. His hips stutter as your hands find their way into his hair, pulling softly, just enough. "Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed." He was intent on fucking the verse into you. You release a broken cry at the feel of him. At his words. The passionate, gravely quality of his voice. He finishes with a loud groan, spilling into you, his ministrations against your clit paying off, propelling you towards the precipice as well. Your walls squeeze his cock, pulsing, clenching at the feel of his release inside you. He groans again, dropping on top of you, his hand going down and wrapping your thigh around him, pushing himself further into you still.

He lays on you for a moment longer, the only sound in the room being your breath and thudding hearts, beating in sync.

You're entirely drowned in ecstasy, even as you try to grasp onto the threads of the conversation the two of you had been having. You run your fingers through his soft hair, brushing back the sweat from his forehead, not minding the weight of him on you. He was crushing you entirely and you wouldn't exchange that for anything. No death could be better. Sweeter.

He rolls off of you after a few more moments, dropping next to you on his back, his legs dangling off the side of the bed.

You breathe deeply, before flipping over to lay on your back. You can feel the evidence of both of your releases inside you, but you can't be too bothered to care right then. Your hazy mind has managed to remember the conversation, and you turn your head, tucking your arms underneath to support it as you watch Aaron. He's laid on his back, one arm under his head, eyes closed and chest rising and falling, slowly settling into a steady state.

"If I wasn't going to hell for the patricide already, I'm definitely going to hell now for finding that far too hot." Your voice comes out low and whiny, a near whisper being all you could manage.

Aaron releases a breath of a laugh before he turns to settle on his side, drawing his legs up, moving closer so he's right beside you. So you can feel his skin against yours.

You reach out, your hand cupping his face and he leans in all too willingly, kissing you softly, completely. As he pulls back, you can feel his eyes examining you - searching. Trying to figure out what exactly it is that had you so thoroughly convinced that you didn't belong in heaven. Because he knows you and while at the time killing your father had been awful, he knew that you believed it had been right. Otherwise you wouldn't have done it.

"Can we accept the premise that killing your father isn't a dealbreaker?" he asks cautiously, his hand reaches out, settling into the curve of your waist, fingers curling into the skin. "What is it really?"

You blink, moving into his embrace, hands fidgeting slightly. You're nervous and you're sure he can tell. However, you know you need to tell him. Tell someone. If anyone should know, it's him. You lick your lips and sigh, looking up into his darkened eyes. "You've met my father. If you had to profile him, how would you do it?" Your voice is quiet, timid, unsure.

Your question is met by some apprehension. Aaron isn't certain, however he hesitantly answers you. "Control freak. Narcissist with a God complex."

You nod at his blunt assessment. "Did you ever wonder why my father - why he let me get away with so much?"

He hadn't.

"I broke off an exceptionally advantageous engagement. He did nothing. I cashed out my trust fund and ran away - slutting it up - " He flinches. " - on the cover of every trashy editorial. Crickets. I joined the FBI and he tried to take me out for dinner. Does he seem like the kind of man that tolerates that kind of insubordination?"

Aaron realizes that he should've thought about these questions. He should've thought to protect you from this back then. It was a miss. Especially after finding out what he had about Julian's death. And yet, there had never been anything in your father's interactions with you to suggest that he would do anything to truly harm you. Despite your fear of him.

"Do you remember what you wrote - in my recommendation letter to McKinney?" you murmured, your face right against his. If he moved a millimeter closer you'd be able to feel your nose against his.

Aaron watches you, his brow furrowing, wondering where exactly this was headed. He nods. He remembers. Your skin under his hands is starting to develop goosebumps. Without a word, he grabs you, shifting and maneuvering so that the two of you are laid together, heads at the headboard finally. He pulls at the blankets, draping them over you both and draws you back against him.

You place a quick kiss to his chest in thanks, fingers brushing over the scars that have persisted. Over time, he's become a lot more comfortable having his shirt off around you. It's still not something he will do in public, but around you, he feels comfortable enough. After all, you'd seen them back when they had been much worse.

He nods at you to continue. He has a need to know now. He has to know.

"The night that Matthew proposed to me, Julian and I got into a huge fight," you confess, legs tangling with his as your fingers trace the mapping of lines down his chest and stomach. "He revealed to me that my father - that the proposal was orchestrated. That it was part of some deal between our fathers. That - ." Your voice breaks and Aaron is quick to run his hands soothingly down your back, whispering soft encouragement in your ears, his lips following your hairline. You sniffle and continue on. "He told me that our father gave me away. Without asking. Without talking to me about it. He sold me."

It's Aaron who is lost for words this time. Out of all things, this - this he could not possibly have prepared for. All things considered, you're holding up remarkably, while his mind reels, putting everything he knows about Matthew into context with this new piece of information. He's struck by a tornado of anger towards your father. How dare that man - that awful, cruel man, treat you like property? To be traded and sold at his whims as if you weren't a fully fledged human being of your own.

You find yourself rubbing your hands up and down Aaron's arms, knowing that he must be processing everything all at once. You've had nearly a decade to deal with it and it still feels overwhelming at times.

"I didn't want to believe it, but it made sense."

Aaron opens his mouth to speak - to say something helpful but no words come. You shake your head, reassuring him that it was alright. He needn't say anything.

"So, I woke him up. We talked. I told him I wasn't about to waste my life - being the perfect daughter and the perfect wife. I couldn't."

He nods. He expected nothing less. You weren't some trophy wife.

"Matthew didn't want me to work after we got married. But I wanted something to work towards. Something that would be mine. It wasn't fair that just because Dominic was the eldest son - that he would get it all. Everything. The entire empire. It was the one thing Matthew could never deny me. He wouldn't have dared."

Aaron's eyes widen as the realization begins to sink in. He takes in your gaze - blazing with renewed fire and fury at the situation you'd been in. The fervor within to escape, be your own person within the confines of the life you were in.

"My father - he fought me on it. Because the thing is, sons inherit the earth. Sons and not daughters." You take a deep breath, watching Aaron who appears to have followed along marvelously, because you can tell that he knows exactly what you're trying to say now.

"I showed him, however -- " You nod your head shakily "-- how I had built connections with all the right people. How I was smarter, would work harder, be better than anyone else he could possibly hope for to fill his shoes."

"You'd take over." His voice is low and the words feel reluctant on his tongue. Resigned despite the truth of them.

You nod. There it was - it was finally out there. Your worst secret that no one else had ever known. This secret had gone to the grave with your father. You hadn't even told John, knowing how disappointed he would've been in you - especially so soon after Julian's passing.

Aaron looks at you, taking in the guilt behind your eyes, the fear at revealing this to him. He knows too, that you're right. That if you had applied yourself to that, even half as well as you did to your job, you would've done it brutally well.

"That's why you think you aren't going to heaven," he concludes, his hands still rubbing up and down your back. He can feel your heart beating rapidly against his chest. It wasn't killing your father. It was this. "Sweetheart, you didn't do it, though. You didn't."

"I would've," you argue. "If Uncle Robert hadn't told me, even with Julian dead, I would've. I signed up for all of it Aaron. He trained me. He groomed me. Those things that you wrote in your letter to McKinney - all about how I'm adept at reading people. Because I can manipulate anyone into doing anything I want. He taught me how to do that. That I have an aptitude for navigating politically nuanced situations - because he showed me how to get close to the people that really matter. That I am exceptional at tactical planning - because from that day onwards, he planned out my entire life. And I let him. I helped him. Everything I did, anyone I spoke to, was all part of it. Part of his plans. So when I left, he wasn't ready to let go. He wasn't ready to waste his investment in me." The words leave you like a storm - evidence in the case you'd been building against yourself, carved from marble and sitting heavy against your heart for the past decade. You hated how much of him you saw in yourself.

You're breathing really hard and there are tears clinging to your lashes as Aaron continues to hold you, pulling you in even closer, if that were possible. He couldn't even imagine how long you'd carried this with you. Nearly a decade of guilt and for what? For something you hadn't even carried through with.

"You didn't actually do it," he repeats himself, brushing his lips against your forehead, knowing that right then that's what you need. All the reassurance that he doesn't see you any differently. That he never could. Especially not for this.

"Aaron, I would've been someone the Bureau goes after. Someone you'd have gone after. But the difference is, I would've never been caught."

Again, he knows you're right. Aaron isn't even surprised really at your entire confession - it stood to reason that you'd want the keys to the kingdom. From what he knew of you and your siblings, you really would be the person who was most capable, despite the dubious nature of the job. He's not naïve enough to think you couldn't have done it if you wanted to. You would've been exceptional at it. But you didn't. Given the chance today, you wouldn't. For him, that's what mattered.

He brushes the hair out of your face tenderly, sweeping away all the wisps and baby hairs, holding your face in his hands. "You need to forgive yourself, Y/N. You need to realize that there is a difference between signing up for something and actually doing it. What you actually did, that's what matters. Regardless of the circumstances. That's what truly happened."

You're quiet, so he holds you. He can feel the tears trickling down your face, onto his chest as you bury your head into him once more.

It was an upheaval, telling him all of this. It's Aaron - and despite everything awful that you've revealed just then, he's being kind, compassionate, and understanding. You just told him that you'd essentially signed up to do every evil job known to mankind and he was comforting you. Making sure that you wouldn't beat yourself up. That you forgave yourself. He didn't even - it was as if it didn't even matter to him. How could it not, though? How could it not claw at him, being tangled up with someone he knows to be entrenched in evil?

"You are a good person, Y/N. A wonderful person. This - this one thing doesn't define you. Being good is a series of decisions and choices in that direction. One thing doesn't derail it entirely. That's what amends are for. What forgiveness is for. To show us that no matter what, we always have a chance." Aaron could only hope that you saw yourself the way he saw you. As someone who tried to be good. As someone who was good, through trying alone.

You want to believe him. You do. It sounds peaceful. But how do you know if you've made enough amends? How do you know if you've done enough?

He knows you're struggling to believe him. He wants to convince you, paint it into your skin, emblazon it onto your soul in a manner so unmistakable that you'd never question it again. You're a good person. He needs you to believe it. Desperately.

Aaron tilts your face up by your chin, his lips meeting yours intensely. "You are a wonderfully good person, Y/N" His whisper falls against your lips, forcing you to swallow in his words. Breathe them in. Taste them. Let them settle into your stomach.

He places another kiss to the turn of your neck, tongue peaking out to lick at mark he'd left earlier, soothing over it. "You're a hero. You save people." He will make you believe it.

You watch in awe as he shifts, placing another kiss to the swell of your breasts. "You take such good care of me and Jack." He will make you believe that you're the good he sees in life. Through all the horrors he sees day in and day out, he looks to you and he sees goodness and purity, laughter and joy.

You can feel the tears welling up again in your eyes, for an entirely different reason as you watch him. Watch this man, make his way down the length of your body, reminding you that you conquer monsters for a living. Remind you that you took down your father and in turn prevented him from doing more evil. Impress upon you the importance of everything you've accomplished since then - all the people you've saved, all the happiness you've brought, all the people you've loved.

You can't help but press yourself to him. Closer to him. Because his touch is the forgiveness you can never seem to give yourself. His touch is pure. His touch is good. It is divinity itself. Maybe if he touched you enough, it could make up for it all. Letting his essence cover up everything that came before.

Aaron draws up on his haunches, having just kissed your clit, causing your eyes to roll back into your head. You taste like what he imagines sunshine might taste like. He moves you up with him, into his lap and waits until you've met his mouth of your own volition, before pulling you down onto his cock, seating you fully against him.

You can taste yourself on his lips. You can feel him inside you so entirely, consumingly, fully. He clutches onto you, the drag of him inside you so powerful and potent, the bubbling euphoria encasing you. Your arms curl around his shoulders, fingers in his hair, as his wrap around your hips, helping you ride his cock exquisitely. Vastly, painstakingly slow.

Aaron watches you in his lap, taking him in - his. Mine. Mine. Mine. A chant on repeat in his brain as your wet, velvety walls grip him like a vice. Your beautiful pink lips parted ever so slightly, eyes half lidded. In his lap, against his body, taking his cock. This - this was goodness. You were the source of all pleasure, delight, and happiness that he feels. If that is not goodness, then what is? If the God he calls God didn't recognize you as such, then what kind of God was he? Because he would gladly worship at your altar instead, if need be.

His hands grip you excruciatingly tight against him, unwilling to leave even the semblance of room between the two of you. It was as though he began where you ended and you ended where he began. "I don't care if you believe you're going to heaven or not," he declares, watching you take him. "I'm going to believe it enough for the both of us."

Before you can say anything in response, he draws your attention downwards, forcing you to watch. Watch as he exits you, wet and shiny, drenched in your arousal. Watch as he brings you back down, entering you immeasurably slowly and causing you to clench and flutter around him. His.

You look back up, meeting his warm brown eyes, shining with love and compassion and the utmost respect. Everything that made you fall in love with this man. You watch as he pushes into you, moves you just so - so as to perfectly hit that spot inside you. You tilt your head back on a moan, your body shuddering and your back arching once more, pushing you closer and closer against him. When you return to face him, he looks at you. His eyes fixed on you. That look on his face, was nothing short of reverent.

You come achingly fast, teeth sinking into his shoulder as you shudder around him, taking in his release. He continues through it, pushing his cum back into you in the process, keeping it there, mingling with both of your earlier release.

You're entirely weak as you sit in the cradle of his arms, balancing on his thighs. Your mind is far away and present at once. Present only in him - his touch, his feel, his lips, his words - surrounding you thoroughly.

You are both unhurried in your movements as you clean up together, no need or desire to speak further, content in the silence of one another.

Aaron cleans up the bed, making sure there are fresh sheets, as he watches your tired body put on the small slip you'd left out earlier. Your hair was wet again and he grabs a fresh towel, drying it once more as you lean against him, unable to stand on your own for much longer, your body still sore. He can see the marks he'd left behind blooming and he takes extra care as he urges you towards the freshly made bed. You slip in to your side as he lifts the duvet, quickly climbing in beside you and tucking the two of you into the covers - swaddling your body against his own. He places a gentle kiss to your lips, murmuring his love against them, the echo of his words reverberating against them. You fall asleep first, entirely spent, physically and emotionally. With any luck you'll enter a deep, dreamless sleep. He can hear your steady and even breaths paralleled with the slow rise and fall of your chest, persuading him to join you in slumber.

Even if you didn't go to heaven - if for some God forsaken reason you were denied entrance - he'd willingly, gladly, go to hell with you.

With that final thought, he gives in to the call of your warmth and the sound of your breaths, allowing himself to be drawn into sleep beside you.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x you #Criminal Minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds reader insert #hotch #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #irreverentseries #hotchner x you #hotchner x y/n

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seokmingiggles · 4 years ago

Text

on cerulean tides.

Anon requested on 201219: "Would you do an idol!Kim Namjoon one shot where the reader (non-idol) is best friends with the Maknaes and believes there's no way Namjoon would ever like her so she begins to avoid him whenever she hangs out with the Maknaes at the dorms/studio/dance practice to try to get over him and Joon picks up on it and thinks he did something wrong/is sad since he thinks he stands no chance with her until the Maknaes force them to realize they return each other's feelings? Thank you in advance!"

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader

Genre: angst to fluff, idol!au, non-idol!reader, happy ending.

3.04k words

Warnings: heavy feelings of inferiority and insecurity, self-doubt, an incredibly brief mention of alcohol consumption, a dragged out metaphor about the sea.

With the ocean of uncertainty plaguing you, you've been avoiding the boy your heart yearns for, not knowing just how much your distance has been impacting him too. Alternatively, Namjoon is your beacon to guide you through the stormy feelings of self-doubt that you've been struggling with lately.

A/N: Thank you for your request! I probably made this much angstier than you intended, but I promise a fluffy ending awaits you. I hope it's okay! (I promise it’s not some pirate!au with a title like this lmao)

This one is dedicated to anyone who feels doubtful of themself. I wish that one day you will be able to see what an astonishing and beautiful being you are. All of us have insecurities about ourselves—big or small—but letting those criticisms consume you is unhealthy and prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Please reach out to talk to someone you trust if these feelings become overwhelming. Things will get better. Please take care of yourself!

•• You and Jimin laughed as you ran down the hallway, each of you with a bag of food in your arms. You could hear Taehyung and Jungkook scampering behind you, the former being noisy as he chased after you, Jungkook only had slightly more grace as he moved.

Being close with the maknae line of BTS had its perks. You could visit them in the studio if they called for you, you could have movie nights at their dorm on their off days, and above all, you could goof around to lift your spirits. You had boundaries; you knew when to leave them be during the busier periods of their schedules and how you couldn't post anything about them online. You didn't mind, though. Your friendship was more than enough.

You were a high school classmate of Jungkook's a few years back, although the two of you never spoke much during those first couple of years. It was only after his group's debut where the boy found himself in need of a tutor, and the school recommended a few to him. Yours was the only name on the list that Jungkook recognized, so it was an easy decision for him to make. Once you and your classmate graduated high school, Jungkook was no longer in need of a tutor, but he wanted to maintain your friendship as he didn't have many others he was close to in your graduating class. Slowly but surely, you also became friends with Taehyung and Jimin when visiting Jungkook over the years. Now, the four of you were practically inseparable. While the boys wouldn't tell you to your face, they all admired you because you never once treated them differently despite their status as idols, especially as their public popularity increased over time.

Jimin reached the vacant studio room before you, holding the door open to let you inside before shouting back at his friends, "You two better hurry up or else (Y/N)-ah and I will eat all the food!"

"Oh, I believe it!" Taehyung cupped his mouth as he yelled back, being pulled by the younger boy at his wrist.

Soon enough, Jungkook and Taehyung made it to the room before Jimin could lock them out. This whole ordeal began when Taehyung needed to use the bathroom after you all had entered the BigHit building. Jungkook went with him, leaving you and Jimin with the lunch he'd ordered.

"All that running from you guys worked up my appetite," you declared as you removed the assortment of containers from one of the bags.

"Well, all that chasing worked up mine," Taehyung countered, teasingly sneering at you and Jimin, the latter already breaking apart his disposable chopsticks.

The four of you began to devour your meal. The three boys were in the middle of a busy working day and invited you to join them for their lunch break. It wasn't an uncommon request; you'd see the trio at least once a week, sometimes more if their schedules cooperated.

Some playful banter with full mouths and filling tummies later, you were sitting back in your chair as you watched Jungkook finish the last of the japchae when someone knocked on the studio door.

After Jungkook managed a "Come in," with his cheeks full of noodles, it was Namjoon's head that poked through the doorway.

"I just want to remind you three that you'll be needed for our meeting in fifteen minutes," the group leader said, eyeing the now-emptied remnants of the lunch you enjoyed. "Hi, (Y/N)."

"Hi, Namjoon." You matched his monotonous tone, maintaining difficult eye contact as he shut the door behind him.

"Okay, whatever is going on between you two needs to stop," Jimin sighed out, visibly frustrated. "You used to get along so well with hyung, and now it's so awkward seeing you interact."

Taehyung sat up straighter, "I agree. You two have so much in common. It's sad to see you so distant now."

Jimin and Taehyung were right. You and Namjoon had to do a lot of scheduling together back when you were Jungkook's tutor, so he was the first one you'd gotten to know in the band, other than your former classmate. The two of you shared a similar mindset: you were both compassionate, responsible, and—arguably above all else—incredibly bad at sharing your feelings.

You wished you could determine the exact moment you began to develop feelings for Namjoon. Maybe it was something about his warm smile; maybe it was his cheery laugh. Or perhaps the way he so intently listened to what the others had to say and would consider ideas other than his own. You not once ever doubted his ability as a leader. You've known the boys since their debut, and even back then, you found Namjoon fit for his role; he's only become better at his job in the passing years.

Yet, something about him made you doubt your ability to be his equal. Part of you knew it was silly to begin avoiding Namjoon in the first place, but the other part of you couldn't bear to suffocate with those annoying butterflies swarming every time your gaze met his. Even from across a room, Namjoon had a powerful effect on you. Part of you wanted his impact on you to stop; part of you missed his closeness.

"Jungkook, you're being awfully quiet," Jimin exchanged a look with Taehyung, "Do you know something that we don't?"

Your head snapped up in Jungkook's direction, silently begging for the boy to deny their assumption.

The youngest hummed and grabbed a water bottle, twisting the cap off and taking a sip. He swished the water around in his mouth.

"Don't make me squish your cheeks to spit out that water, Jeon."

Jungkook swallowed. He glanced at you for confirmation, although instead, took in your tired appearance. He brought it upon himself to make your exhaustion stop.

"(Y/N)-ie likes Namjoon."

You sighed at hearing those words aloud. You couldn't even be mad at your friend; the only way he found out about your feelings was over some drinks one night where you were rambling about how pretty you thought Namjoon looked earlier that day. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell your crush's bandmate that you liked him.

Jimin shifted in his seat, "Okay, and...? Don't tell me you thought we didn't already know, (Y/N)-ie."

"Yeah, it was obvious when you'd become flustered around hyung!" Taehyung added, "But after you began avoiding him I figured something had changed."

You fiddled with the cap of your water bottle. "Does he know?"

"Namjoon? No, there's no way. He's about as clueless as you are when it comes to crushes." Jimin pondered then continued, "Maybe we could talk to him about it-"

"Absolutely not."

"But why not (Y/N)? It's painful for us to watch the two of you interact lately; it must be worse for you guys."

"I don't want him to know."

"That's not a good reason-"

"It's good enough for me. Now please, can we just forget about it? Don't you guys have a meeting to get to?" You felt bad for shutting down their request. After all, they were only trying to help you.

The boys began to stand, collecting the bags and containers scattered on the floor. They were visibly defeated, but they respected your plead.

Jimin stood by you before turning to the door, "Okay, if that's what you wish, we won't tell him. I do think you should, though, (Y/N). Maybe the results will be in your favour."

•

You felt numb as you were on the bus heading back to your apartment. You tried to escape from your thoughts about the boy you were so fond of, yet your mind defeatedly wandered its way back to him no matter how hard you tried. It pained you to see Namjoon's behaviour shift with yours as you began to avoid him throughout the past month. You didn't realize how severe it had become until your friends pointed it out to you. You thought the distance you created would help alleviate the pounding sensation in your chest and clammy palms associated with Namjoon's presence. You never thought that one day you'd prefer your racing heart to the emptiness you feel now.

He's too good for me, you kept convincing yourself until it was all that you believed.

He couldn't love someone like me.

You have struggled with self-compassion throughout your life thus far. Feelings of gratitude coming in inconsistent waves like the unpredictable ocean tides. You were stormier lately—lost in the sea of doubt and floundering to find stability on shore again.

Namjoon used to be your lifeboat. He taught you that appreciating oneself is necessary to become genuinely happy. He even wrote lyrics about the phenomenon. He made it sound so simple, so achievable. Yet, the theory is typically easier than the practice. Wind and rain continued to pelt down at you, thrashing the waves beneath your surface and making it difficult to breathe.

You wanted to change your mentality; you wanted to be more confident. But constantly comparing yourself to others is equivalent to drowning in the murky ocean, the depths sucking you further and further below until not a trace of sunlight remains.

You made it back to your apartment safely in one piece. You were mentally exhausted and drained at all of your overthinking. You felt the need to cry out of frustration.

"Remember to breathe when you're feeling like this. Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

Namjoon's voice resounded in your head from a few months back when you overheard him calming Taehyung down in a neighbouring room.

You missed hearing his voice.

It was an unmistakable desire. You missed the way he'd look at you with utmost attention and care when you'd speak with him. You missed the way he'd give his thoughtful advice. You missed his smile, his laughter; you missed him. You longed to be back in Namjoon's presence. He always knew what to do or say to help calm the storm. He was a lighthouse beckoning you back safely to shore.

You were getting tired of avoiding him.

But you were also getting tired.

Padding your way to your bed, you slipped into comfy loungewear and got beneath your covers. You momentarily stared up at the ceiling before closing your eyes.

"Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

•

Your ringing phone was what awoke you. It could have been minutes or hours later; you weren't sure. You reluctantly pushed yourself out of your blanketed fortress and made your way to the kitchen counter where you left the device. It was still light outside, but you could see the sun beginning to approach the horizon line.

"Hello?" You said, cursing in your head for the way your groggy voice sounded.

"Hi, (Y/N). It's been a while. Could we talk?"

You froze, being doused by the icy sea.

"Um..." you hesitated. You were caught off guard in a place that was supposed to be your retreat, by a person who was supposed to be your oasis.

"Deep breaths."

"Yeah, I-I guess we could talk."

"Great. Would it be okay if I came to you? I'm almost done here in the studio, maybe another thirty minutes before I can head out."

You were nodding your head before you verbalized your agreement.

"Okay. I'll see you soon, (Y/N)."

"See you, Namjoon."

You hung up first and set your phone back onto the kitchen counter, your elbows following shortly after so you could place your face in your hands.

You knew this was coming; Namjoon was a responsible young adult. There was no way he could have missed your change in behaviour around him as much as you wished for otherwise.

•

Thirty minutes went by faster than you wished. The sharp knock on your door startled you as you were washing some dishes in the kitchen. Cleaning when stressed wasn't an unusual habit of yours.

You hesitated, grabbing a tea towel to dry your hands before treading carefully to the door.

"Deep breaths."

You removed the chain and carefully opened the door. You knew Namjoon was waiting for you on the other side, yet your breath still hitched as your eyes wandered upwards to meet his.

"Come in," you forced from your lips and stepped to the side to let your guest past.

Namjoon thanked you as he slipped his shoes off and made his way to your sofa, declining your offer of a drink.

You joined him shortly after, keeping him more than an arms-length away.

"What's wrong, (Y/N)?"

"Deep breaths."

"Did Jimin mention anything to you?" You could tell your voice sounded weak, but you had other pressing concerns.

"Nothing elaborate. All I was told by him and Taehyung was that I should try talking to you. They didn't say why, but I think we both know."

You searched his face for any signs of dishonesty but found none. "Nothing's wrong-"

"Please," he pushed, "I'd like to think I know you well enough over the years. Something is wrong. I should have come here sooner. You know you can trust me." He even bared a small smile after his words.

It only made your heart plummet further into the depths: a watery grave with your name written on it.

"You're just..." you sighed out, already feeling tears prickling at your eyes. "You're really... just... good. I hope you know how good of a person you are, Namjoon. I don't know how else to explain it. You're a good person. No, that's an understatement. You're... it sometimes doesn't feel like you're real, you know? You're just so giving and considerate and so aware of others' wellbeing." You failed to hold back your emotions; a tear slid down your cheek. "You're good."

And proving your point, Namjoon slid closer to you on the couch so he could take your hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel so insignificant," you continued, "like I'm nobody special or that I'm not doing anything important or worthwhile; that I'm not enough. It's like I'm stuck on the bottom of the ocean. I'm not drowning, but I'm able to see the world passing by above me."

Namjoon said nothing for a moment and just absorbed your thoughts as he mindlessly brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. "There are times in everyone's' life where we all feel that way. You can only tread water for so long before you exhaust yourself and begin to sink. I've felt that way, too—stuck, insignificant. If I'm being blunt, part of my desire to change my mindset was because of you, (Y/N). When I first met you as Jungkook's tutor, you seemed so knowledgable, responsible; you had a good head on your shoulders. You were good. Part of you reminded me of myself, yet part of me also felt intimidated by you." Namjoon stopped momentarily to smile at your astonished face as you mouthed 'intimidated?'. "Yes, intimidated. I've admired you since day one. Then slowly, I realized that those feelings became more than just a simple admiration. But I held back saying anything because I didn't feel worthy of you. I let my own self-doubt get in the way."

"I'm the one not worthy of you, 'Joon."

"Please, love, nothing about that is true," the boy's voice became so tender as he brought his free hand to the side of your face. "One day, I'll show you just how incredible you are to me," he swiped his thumb to collect a stray tear, "but right now, I think you're more in need of a tissue and a hug."

A small, breathy laugh fell from your lips as you accepted the tissue Namjoon retrieved for you. After effectively wiping away your salty tears, you gladly situated yourself in his outstretched arms, being held in a tight embrace. The two of you remained like that until your breathing gradually calmed down, then you moved so you were lying against him with your back to his chest. His nose lightly nuzzled the top of your head.

"All of us have a bit of the ocean inside of us," Namjoon continued, delicately grazing his thumb around the curved corner of your eye, "it means you have the power to control the waves to some extent. The sea can be unpredictable, but so is life. It takes practice to learn to control your waves. I know you may not believe in yourself now, but please, (Y/N), believe me when I tell you that you're enough. You're more than enough."

•

Namjoon stayed with you for the rest of the evening to make sure your spirits were lifted even the slightest bit. The distance that grew between you was from a mutual error; you came to understand your similar sides to the story as you continued to talk. The whole ordeal made you realize that you're not alone in your insecurities. Even someone you suspected to be flawless had doubts of their own.

You were situated back in your bed after Namjoon had left minutes ago. He wished you a good night and pleasant dreams, topping off his adieu with a quick peck to your cheek. You relished in the feeling of your butterflies returning, no longer letting them suffocate you, instead, embracing them in their colourful magnificence.

You recalled what Namjoon said earlier to you:

"You know, what you said about the ocean, it can be beautiful too. Yes, it's scary when you're alone and trapped at the bottom beneath the waves in the dark, but the thing about the sea is that it's continuously moving and shifting. Like our lives, tides come in highs and lows and can change from day-to-day, hour-to-hour. It's unfair to assume we can always remain floating on the surface; when that happens, you can't go anywhere yourself. You need to be partially submerged to move and make choices.

Why don't we traverse this sea together? We can help guide each other until we've found our shore again."

Namjoon was your lighthouse; you were the moon guiding his tides.

••

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retro-mint45 · 3 years ago

Video

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GIRLS - CONTEMPT - 4 - WOMEN - ME -

FOUND - THUMBTRACK.COM - BY XO -

MOTOROLA - MOTO - G6 - I - WAS BY -

THE - WAY - ATTACKED - BY - USA XO -

MEN - THEY - GIVE - HEART ATTACKS -

MEANING - BY - THEIR WORD THEY -

WISH - THEY - CAN - KILL - WOMEN -

AT - ONCE - THEIR - WORK - FR YES -

GRADUATING - FR - COLLEGE - OR -

NOT - THEIR - FEE - IS - $27,000 ITS -

NOT - REFUNDABLE - REMEMBER -

YOUR - BANK - WHEN - THEY DO -

NOT - DELIVER - WHAT - THEY SAID -

'UNAUTHORIZED - CHARGE' - NO -

SAYS - CAPITAL ONE - BANK - NON -

VIRGIN - FEMALE - MEANS - 'MA'M -

U - WERE - ROBBED - CALL POLICE' -

BANKS - ARE - NOT - RESPONSIBLE -

2 - REFUND - OUR - MEMBER - WHEN -

THEY'RE - ROBBED - OR - YOUR - BAD -

JUDGMENT - U - BOUGHT - ONLINE' -

SOLUTION - IN - FUTURE - NO TRACE -

FREEZING - ALL - ACCOUNTS - THEIR -

PAYROLL - CHECKS - WITHOUT - USD -

US DOLLARS - THEY - CAN - GET NEW -

JOB - BUT - THAT - PAYCHECK - DOES -

NOT - CASH - INCLUDING - SPOUSES -

THEY'RE - 18 AND OLDER - KIDS - THE -

GRANDPA - ALL - THEIR - RELATIVES -

ALL MONEY - FROZEN - 6 MONTHS -

CAPITAL - ONE - BANK - FEMALE -

WHAT - SHE - SAID - FELONY OF -

'ENCOURAGEMENT - OF - CRIME' -

'ROBBERY - IS - CRIME' - YOUR XO -

LOCAL - POLICE - WILL - TELL - YOU -

WHEN - YOU'RE - ROBBED - OF XO -

LESS - THAN - $300 - NOT - POLICE -

MATTER - THEY - THINK - THEY'RE -

ABSOLVED - OF - OBEDIENCE OF -

ALL - LAWS - SAME - FREEZING OF -

THEIR - PAYCHECKS - FELONIES - ARE -

PUT - IN - THEIR - RECORDS - FINES - R -

REMOVED - FR THEIR - SALARIES AND -

WAGES - VIOLENT - ARMED - JOBS AS -

THEY'RE - NOT - MILITARY - FORCE -

THEY'RE - NOT - ALLOWED - 2 KILL -

ANYONE - VIOLATORS OF AMENDMENTS -

1, 2, 4, 8, 14 - CAPITAL - ONE - BANK - USA -

WHITE - FEMALE - STATEMENT - 'GAVE - U -

CRUEL - AND - UNUSUAL - PUNISHMENT' -

POLICE - SAME VIOLATED - 14TH DID -

NOT - GIVE - NATURALIZED - IN - USA -

'EQUAL - PROTECTION - OF - LAW' -

CAPITAL ONE BANK - AND POLICE -

WERE - TREATING - FEMALES - LIKE -

BLONDS - 'U - WERE ROBBED - YOU ARE -

A - BAD - GIRL' - 'GET - OVER - IT' - USA & -

OTHER - BANKS - YOUR - MONEY THEIR -

SALARIES - BILL - PAYMENTS - PHONE & -

WATER - ELECTRICITY - ALL - YOUR - $ $ -

SHOWED - OTHER - SERVICES - THEY'VE -

GOT - ALL - THAT - MONEY - SO - LOANS -

SMALL - MONTHLY - BANKS GIVE - OUT -

LOANS - INTERESTS - THEIR - PROFITS -

SO - MANY BANKS - HAVE - NOT YES -

CLOSED - THUMB TRACK.COM - THOSE -

MALES - STOLE - $27,000 - FROM - YOU -

CAPITAL ONE BANK - NON-VIRGIN MEN -

& - WOMEN - SAID - 'U - GAVE - THEM -

AUTHORITY - 2 - TAKE - BECAUSE - XO -

THEY - COULDN'T - GIVE - U - A GREAT -

WEBSITE - THEN - $27,000 - PAYMENT -

PUNISHMENT - 4 - HIRING - USA - YES -

DUMB - COLLEGE - GRADS - $27,000 -

YOUR - LOSS - IT'S - LIKE - U - WENT 2 -

MALL - & - U - WERE - ARMED - ROBBED -

OF - CASH - ACTUALLY NOT THE SAME -

MALL - ROBBER - OF - CASH - U - WERE -

ROBBED - BUT - WHEN - THEY - GAVE -

U - WORST - THAN - B 4 - WEBSITE XO -

THEY - CHARGE - $27,000 - 2 - DESTROY -

WEBSITES - 'DESTRUCTION - OF PRIVATE -

(YOURS) - AND - PUBLIC - PROPERTY HAI -

(SHOPIFY - CANADA) - ROBBED - IN THE -

MALL - NOT - CAPITAL - ONE - BANK - XO -

YOUR - BANK'S - LIABILITY - BECAUSE - U -

WERE - ROBBED - OF - CASH - THUS - IF -

NO - ONE - CLAIMS - REMOVAL - OF XO -

YOUR - MONEY - FR - CAPITAL - ONE XO -

THAT - BANK - KEEPS - YOUR - MONEY -

BUT - IF - THEY'RE - A - GREAT - YES XO -

COUNTRY - RIGHT - NOW - NOT - MANY -

PLACES - ARE - GREAT - BUT - THAT - HAI -

MEANS - YOUR - BANK - ACCOUNT - IS -

SAYING - YOU'RE - STILL - ALIVE - AT XO -

135 YEARS - OLD - RIGHT - NOW - U AT -

LEAST - DIED - AT - 120 YEARS - SO - XO -

HARVARD - LAW - WILL - TRANSFER XO -

YOUR - MONEY - NON-TRACE - TAK'G -

THAT - MONEY - MONETORY - FINES & -

FELONIES - ADDED - 2 - MANY - AMERICANS -

MANY - PAYCHECKS - FROZEN - ALWAYS - XO -

6 MONTHS - GREATEST - COMPUTER - YES XO -

GENIUSES - THEY - COULDN'T - WITH - THEIR -

USA - AGE 246 - BRAINS - COULDN'T - GET XO -

CASHED - NO - MONEY - CHECKS - THE - YES -

6 MONTHS - FREEZE - WAS - HONORED - FOR -

REMEMBER - OUR - GADGETS - HATRED - YES -

ATTEMPTED - ATTACK - OR - ATTACKED - YES -

THEFT - MURDER - PULSE - DISAPPEARS - ALL -

THEM - AND - THEIR - VEHICLES - THUMB -

TRACK.COM - AMERICAN - MEN - YES XO -

ATTACKED - ME - THEY - TRIED - 2 - STEAL -

IMMEDIATELY - $27,000 - BASICALLY - XO -

CALLED - ME - 'BIMBO' - 'YOUR - MONEY -

BELONGS - 2 - US' - SO - FUTURE - WE XO -

DISAPPEAR - THEIR MONEY - VOID THEIR -

CARDS - THROUGH - PROBE - SCAN - USA -

THEY - HAVE - $375,000 - THAT AMOUNT -

DISAPPEARED - FR - THEIR - BANKS XO XO -

THEY - HAVE - 2 - START - AGAIN - WE YES -

LEVEL - THEIR - HOUSES - APT - BUILDG'S -

DISAPPEAR - THEM - BECAUSE - 1 - INCH -

LAWNS - RETRO PINK - MAKATI - GIRLS -

THUMB TRACK.COM - USA - MEN - YES -

TRIED - 2 - MURDER - ME - BY MESSAGE -

SO - LISTEN - CLEAR - ABOUT - TITANIC -

AMERICANS - 'THEY - WE - WILL - ALSO -

SINK' - AS FOREIGNERS - ROBBERY OF -

CASH - FLORIDA - CONCEALED YES XO -

WEAPONS - PERMIT - 21 AND OLDER 4 -

WRINKLED - PRUNE - BAG - FLORIDA -

SENIORS SAGGING LOVE HANDLES -

CATARACT - EYES - WRINKLED FACE -

NUDE - COLONIES - WITH - SENIORS -

WRINKLED - SAGGING - CHESTS - IS -

FLORIDA - WHEY - CHRISTINA GRIMME -

SHOT - AT - L & R - CHEST - HEAD - FOR -

SHE'S - DISNEY - ALSO - AND - WAS IN -

HER - 20s - AND - CAN - SING - DANCE -

SENIORS - NAKED - IN - FLORIDA - JUST -

WALKING - WRINKLED - NOT SINGING -

OR - DANCING - CRISTINA - WAS - YES -

COMPETITION - FLORIDA - SAYS - JUST -

NAKED - WRINKLED - SAGGING - TRUE -

IS - 'GOOD - ENOUGH' - EDISON MALL -

ROBBERY - OF - CASH - GET - FIREARM -

& - FIRE - SHOOT - LEGS - THIGHS - SO -

WEAKENED - GET - PURSE - THEY - YES -

ALSO - GRABBED - CAPITAL - ONE - USA -

BANK - IS - RIGHT - THEY'RE - NOT - YES -

LIABLE - OF CASH - U - WERE MUGGED -

OF SAYING - 'SURPRISED - U - WERE -

NOT - KILLED' - THEY - THEY - KEEP -

YES - YOUR - MONEY - UNLESS XO -

SOMEONE - RECOGNIZES - THAT -

YOU'RE - NOW - AGE 135 - USA - PEOPLE -

LONGEVITY - AGE 78 - KOREA - FR - AGE -

55 - TO - AGE 82 - THANKS - 2 - JAPAN & -

OLYMPICS - JAPAN - INTRODUCED - YES -

EXERCISE - 2 - KOREAN - WHO - JUST XO -

MURDERED - KOREANS - THEY - DIDN'T -

EXERCISE - B 4 - SO - THEY - DIED AT 55 -

(3:23A EDT) - RIGHT - NOW - TRYING - 2 -

FINISH - CANE - SUGAR - WITH - VEGAN -

BELGIAN - CHOCOLATE - SHAKE - SO - I -

ADDED - 2 - BLENDER - BRITA FILTER -

ICE - CUBES - SO PASSABLE - TASTE -

LESS CONTACT - WITH - ARMED US -

POLICE ILLEGALLY - ARMED - GPA -

VERY - LOW - NOT - SMART - NOT -

MARRIED - NOT - VIRGINS - BIBLE -

'DEPART - FR - EVIL' - EARLY - YES -

DEPARTURE - TRAVELOCITY.COM -

HOTELS - SKYSCANNER.COM - 4 - FLIGHTS -

EXPEDIA.COM - YOUR - BACK UP - SO HOT -

(+59,000) - FORT MYERS - POLICE - THEY -

CERTAINLY - ILLEGALLY - ARMED - STOPS -

2 - TALK - 2 - BLIND - 'WHAT'S WITH THE -

BLK - SUNGLASSES' - 'SHE HAS - YES XO -

BEAUTIFUL - EYES' - HASN'T - SEEN - YET -

'NEEDS - STEEL STICK - LIKE - SHE'S - YES -

SKIING - BUT - FLORIDA - NO SNOW' - SO -

MISOGYNY - ASKED - BRUNETTE - 2 - DO -

'DRUNK - TEST' - WHICH - BLIND - GIRL -

DID - HER - NON-DRUNK - GUIDE DOG -

WAS - FLIRTING - FOUND - HER - SOON -

BECAUSE - GOD - KNEW - THAT - WAS -

GOING - 2 - HAPPEN - REMOVED THE -

DOG - FR - SCENE - B 4 - SHOOTING -

OF - DIDN'T - KNOW - WHAT - TRUE -

'SERVICE - DOG' - MEANS - VESTS 4 -

MANY - AMERICANS - NOT - VERY -

BRIGHT - PUBLIC - SCHOOL - TRUE -

TUITION - FR - RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY -

TAXES - HAVE SOLUTION - 2 - WHEN U -

HAVE - 2 - SPEAK - 2 - ARMED - POLICE -

AMAZON.COM - BCOZZY - CHIN - YES -

SUPPORT - TRAVEL PILLOW - PLANES -

POLICE - STATION - PUBLIC - LIBRARY -

WHILE - TYPING - AT - TUMBLR.COM -

TWITTER.COM - UNIQUE US PATENT -

DESIGN - OFFERS - SUPPORT 2 THE -

HEAD - NECK - CHIN - WHEN U - XO -

TRAVEL - AND - AT - HOME READING -

FREE APP - 'FREE BOOKS' - DOMINIC -

O'BRIEN - MEMORY - IMPROVEMENT -

BRITISH - WORLD - MEMORY CHAMP -

AMAZON - AUDIBLES - ($14.95) - YES -

1 MONTH - FREE 2 TITLES - EA MON -

1 TITLE - FREE - INCLUDES - TX - JOEL -

OSTEEN - HIS - BESTSELLERS - COOL -

FULLY - WASHABLE - LARGE - IS - FOR -

ADULTS - UP TO 16 INCH - SMALL - 4 -

KIDS - (AGE 3 - 7) - USA - PUBLIC YES -

SCHOOLS - WON'T - ALLOW - BUT -

DANGEROUS - WITHOUT - WHEN -

YOUR - KIDS - ARE - SLEEPING - AT -

THE - BACK - BY - USA - LAW - U C -

THAT - THEIR - HEADS - GOING - YES -

DOWN - STRONG - ALL - THE - TIME & -

THAT'S - BAD - 4 - THEIR - NECKS - XO -

MUSCLE - PAIN - CREAM - THEN AND -

MANY - MOMS - HAVE - NEVER EVER -

GIVEN - ANYTHING - BUT - VICS YES -

VAPORUB - THEN - AWAKE - SUDDENLY -

BUT - NOW - HEART - AFFECTED WE'RE -

NOW - TAKING - HEART - VITAMINS - & -

MINERALS - THE - PHILIPPINES - NEED -

THIS - MUST - HAVE - GUMMIES - 4 US -

AND - KIDS - 4 - THESE - SUPERB - YES -

HEART - VITAMINS - MINERALS - THEY -

WORK - HEART ATTACK - OCCURS - 2 -

4 - OLDER - WHEN - CHIN - ALWAYS -

DROPPING - 2 - MANY - TIMES - AS -

THEY'RE - SLEEPING - AT - BACK OF -

CARS - 4 AMERICANS - THEY THINK -

HOW FUNNY - AS - DRIVERS - THEN -

THEIR - GRANDFATHER - DIES - LESS -

THAN - 1 MIN - AFTER - MANY CHIN -

DROPS - AS - THEY - BRING - 2 - THE -

HOSPITAL - THEN - AMERICANS ARE -

WEARING - BLK - AND - LISTENING 2 -

LAST - WILL - & - TESTAMENT - 4 - YES -

NON-TAXED - BENEFICIARY CHECKS -

SO - THEY - DON'T - REALLY MOURN -

AS - PEOPLE - NOTICED - OBSERVED -

($25.45) - BCOZZY - CHIN SUPPORT -

TRAVEL - PILLOW - OR - AT - HOME -

AS - U - READ - OR - TYPE - WORDS -

4 - TUMBLR.COM - ESPECIALLY XO -

DURING - GRAVEYARD - SHIFTS -

(12A - 5A) - AS - YOUR - HEADS -

GO - DOWN - & - UP - AS U XO -

TRY - 2 - DANCE - 2 - FINISH AS -

U - REST - ON - SOFA - BEHIND - THEN -

FELL - ASLEEP - CHIN - UP - SO - 2 - YES -

FINISH - TYPING - SO - COMFORTABLY -

KOREAN TV DRAMA NEW - SBS NOW -

MONDAYS - 'LOVERS - OF - THE - RED -

SKY' - WHEN - BLIND - MALE BABE IS -

THIN - AND - SKIN - PERFECT - JUST -

LIKE - LEE JOON GI - BOTH - LOOK -

SO - GOOD - WITH - LONG - HAIR -

BELOW - ALWAYS - SAYS - FICTITIOUS -

NEVER - HAPPENED - WELL - GBC XO -

FILMS - COMEDY ROMANCE DRAMA -

MUSICAL - & - MORE - WE'LL - MAKE -

THAT - MEAN - SOMETHING BETTER -

LIKE - SEE - THRU - ABOVE - HAT YES -

BOTTOM - BUT - GIRLS - IN - MAKATI -

NOT - ALL - HAIR - LONG - SO - DIBA -

LOOKS LIKE - BLK - TAE - ON - THEIR -

HEAD - SO - SMELLS - DON'T - LIKE -

BOTTOM - OF - HAIR - PARANG - IT -

IS - THE - FUTURE - SHORT - HAIR -

SO - IT - WILL - B - LIKE - PONY XO -

TAIL - MAYBE - THEY - AS - KOREANS -

FELT - 'THEY - AS - MALES - LOOK XO -

BETTER - THAN MALE HORSES' - SO -

ETO - 'HINDI' - LAGI THOROUGHBREDS -

MADAMING - MAS - GANDA - LOOKING -

AND - OWNERSHIP - 'AGE - OF - MEN' -

MALE - STAR - RED EYES - PERO LITTLE -

YOUNG - GIRL - BLUE - PUKE - EYES - 2 -

SHOW - POOR - AND - KOREAN - GIRL -

BLIND - LOOKS LIKE - PEBBLES - WHILE -

HE - MALE - BLIND - LOOKS - LIKE - YES -

EXOTIC - BEAUTY - KOREAN - MALES -

WILL - NEVER - CRY - IF - 200,000 KR -

FEMALES - DIED - TOMORROW CASI -

BAKLA - AND - CONCEITED - ABOUT -

THEIR - BEAUTY - TANGA - ALSO FOR -

MALE & FEMALE - PRODUCE - WHAT -

WILL - INCREASE - THEIR - POPULATION -

NOT FERMENTED - KIMCHI - CABBAGE -

SPICY - RUB - AFTER - EATING - WHAT IS -

LEFT - THEN - KOREAN - BABY - WILL XO -

APPEAR - ON - THEIR - BLANKET YES XO -

DURING - FULL MOON - SOME DID YES -

SOMEWHAT - BELIEVE THAT - SO CUTE -

OUR - JOSEON - LIKE - HORSE PONY -

TAIL - WHERE - HAIR - IS - SEE - THRU -

BLK - HATS - ALL WORE - BLACK - XO -

THAT - AREA - NOT - SEE - THRU - XO -

AND - JOSEON - 500 YEARS - POOR -

ALL - WORK - WHITE - INFERIOR YES -

COLOR - WHITE - AND - NOT - SOFT -

INFERIOR - COTTON - CLOTH - AS U -

HAVE - NEVER - SEEN ANY KOREAN -

TV - DRAMA - WITH - THAT - TRUTH -

ONLY - SPECIAL - HOLIDAYS - ANOTHER -

COLOR - ALLOWED - GRAY - BUT - SAME -

INFERIOR - COTTON - BUT - THERE WERE -

TIMES - GRAY - PUT - ON - TOP - OF - SO -

THEY - CAN - ADJUST - 2 - WHITE AGAIN -

SOONER - THAT'S - SO - THEY'LL KNOW -

WHO - ARE - POOR - FASTER - SO - THEY -

WON'T - KNOW - SOFTNESS - OF - YES -

RICHLY - MADE - CLOTH - LIKE - PUPRLE -

WAS - ONLY - ALLOWED - ROYALTY - ON -

EARTH - ESPECIALLY - IN - EUROPE - HAI -

KOREAN - TV DRAMA - JOSEON - ONLY -

USED - BLK - PAINT - NO - COLORS - OR -

THEY - NEVER - CREATED - ANY - 4 - AS -

LAZINESS - AFFECTS - WHY - MAKE XO -

COLORS - WHEN - SKY - BLUE FLOWERS -

HAVE - COLORS - 2 - MAKE - COLOR XO -

PAINT - COLORS - EVERYWHERE - WHY -

THEY - WERE - JUST - GENIUNELY - HAI -

LAZY - LIKE - WE'RE - LAZY - WITH - YES -

AS - GIRLS - ARE - WE - INLOVE - WITH -

BLOND - NCT DREAM RENJUN - CHINESE -

OR - ARE - WE - INLOVE - WITH - KOREAN -

6'1 FT - AGE 20 - SUNGCHAN - MC HOST -

NCT - NCT U - 'HAPPY - BIRTHDAY' - DOLL -

'MONDAY - MONDAY' - (13 SEP 2021) -

'YOU'RE - BEAUTIFUL' - CUTEST DOLL -

'GLAD EVERYTHING - U - WANT 2 DO -

U - DO' - GORGEOUS - SUNG - BIBLE -

'THE - SUPERNATURAL - STRENGTH -

OF YOUTHFUL - MALES' - SEOUL KR -

SUNGCHUN - DARLING - MONDAY -

BOY - BCOZZY - CHIN - SUPPORT 4 -

TRAVEL PILLOW - 4 - NECK AROUND -

THEN GOES UP - 4 - CHIN SUPPORT -

USA POLICE - NON-VIRGINS - THEY -

NEED - VACCINE - NOT EVEN - YES -

MARRIED - THEY'RE - NOT - LEGAL -

DEFINITION - OF - SANITIZED YES -

HUMANS - AGE 246 - NO MANNERS -

AMENDMENTS - NOT - MILITARY XO -

FORCE - ILLEGALLY - ARMED - METAL -

HANDCUFFS - ILLEGAL - WEAPONS -

& - USE - OF - METAL - THEY - BIND 2 -

REMOVE - LIBERTY - RIGHT - 2 - ACT -

AS - ONE - PLEASES - 14TH - NO US -

STATE - (FLORIDA) - CAN - DEPRIVE -

DENY - ANY - PERSON - OF - LIFE & -

LIBERTY - (SHERIFFS - ILLEGAL) - XO -

OCCUPATION - NO - US - STATE XO -

CAN - DEPRIVE - ANY - PERSON OF -

PROPERTY - ESPECIALLY - FULLY XO -

PAID - ILLEGAL - LAW - REPOSSESSION -

OF - HOMES CONDOS - BUSINESS XO -

PROPERTIES - LANDS - 'DEPRIVED - OF -

PROPERTY' - 18TH - 'CRUEL - AND YES -

UNUSUAL - PUNISHMENT' - RIFFLES -

FIREARMS - 21 AND OLDER - MALES -

FEMALES - AMERICANS - AGE 246 -

LA LA LAND - LAND - OF THE FREE -

THUS LONGEVITY - AGE 78 ONLY -

4 - US - SUNG - 'IN - GOD - WE -

TRUST' - THEY'RE - CHANGING -

THAT - 2 - 'IN - TAXES WE TRUST' -

'IN - MONEY - WE - TRUST' - YES -

COOL - BETTER ANCIENT - EGYPT -

INVENTED TAXES - 'REPRODUCTION -

IN - PART - OR - FULL - OFF' - ILLEGAL -

MURDERS - ROBBERS - LAWLESS USA -

SO - NEED - 2 - TALK - 2 - USA POLICE -

SEOUL POLICE - BCOZZY - CHIN -

SUPPORT 4 - TRAVEL PILLOW FOR -

- NECK - 2 - KEEP AWAKE - WHILE -

TALKING - 2 - VULGAR - NON-VIRGIN -

POOR - POLICE - THEY'RE - NOT RICH -

MAKATI - PHILIPPINE - ISLANDS - WE -

ARE - TRAINING - MALE - CATS ONLY -

AS - OUR - DOMESTIC - SERVICE YES -

JUNIORS - SENIORS - 2 - ESCORT THE -

BLIND - COMFORT - BABES - BE - AN -

EMOTIONAL - SUPPORT - NOT - JUST -

1 WORD - COMMANDS - HAND YES -

MOVEMENT - HAND - SILENT - TRUE -

COMMANDS - 2 - CONFUSE - EVIL -

HUMANS - OUTSIDE - MAKATI FOR -

CATS - DON'T - BARK - SO - MORE -

PEACEFUL - 4 - THE - BLIND - THEIR -

MASTERS - ADDITIONAL - SERVICE -

DOMESTICS - NOT - JUST - MALES -

DOGS - AS - GUIDE - DOG - SO XO -

FUTURE - SEOUL POLICE - STATION -

MY - (NOT RELATIVES) - GRANDPAPIES -

WEARING - BCOZZY - CHIN SUPPORT -

2 ROUNDS - THEN - AROUND - NECK -

2 - SUPPORT - WON'T - DOZE - OFF 4 -

PRIVATE - SMALL - PLANES - STILL HAI -

NAVY - BEDS - SO - NICE - 2 - GO - TO -

ARMED - LOCATIONS - OF - UNIFORM -

POOR - PEOPLE - WHO DON'T KNOW -

HOW 2 SHOWER - (FILTERED) - WATER -

THEY - SMELL - ONLY - ARMED - IN - KR -

LIKE - NCI - CIVILIANS - LIKE - CANADA -

NOT ALLOWED - ARMED - UNTIL THEY -

DIE - SO - KILLED - WITH - KITCHEN XO -

KNIVES - STRANGLED - 2 - DEATH - OR -

PUSHED - FR - TALL - BUILDINGS - WILL -

BE - THE - USUAL - LIKE - OSTRICHES -

WHO - BURY - HEAD - IN - SOIL - FOR -

THEY'RE - FEARFUL - CREATURES ARE -

SUICIDAL - ALSO - AS - MALES - EVEN -

AS - 8 FT - TALL - BUT - SOFT - COVER -

ON - HEADS - 2 - COVER - EYES - YES -

ESPECIALLY - SUICIDE - & - FEAR - XO -

GONE - 2 - THAT DOES - WORK FOR -

THEM - SO - BRINGING - MY - BRIT -

MALE - CAT - HOPE - SMALL CHILD -

SIZE - (AGE 3-7) - WILL - FIT MY XO -

MALE - PUREBRED - KITTEN - 4 - IT -

IS - WHAT - THEY - NEED - THOSE -

BEAUTIFUL - LIVING - FUR - SUCH -

PERFECTION - OF - BEAUTY - AS I -

MAKE - SURE - THEY'RE - WEAR'G -

SHOES - AND - WELL - DRESSED 4 -

WEATHER - ALSO - CLEAR - FACE -

SHIELD - WITH - COLORS ABOVE -

LIKE - SUNGLASSES - THEN THEY -

WEAR - CHILD - BCOZZY - CHIN -

THEN - ALSO - NECK - SUPPORT -

AS - IT - ROUNDS - ITSELF - IN 2 -

AREAS - I'M - WEARING - SAME -

BOTH - OF - US - MATCHING XO -

THEN - LIKE - CARRYING - BABY -

HOLDING - MITSUO - ONE SIDE -

SO - HANDS - FREE - HIS - COLLAR -

ATTACHED - 2 - IF - SUDDEN - RUN -

INCREASES IN LENGTH BUT AUTO -

GENTLY - EASES - 4 - END - OF THE -

LEASH - BRINGS BACK - 2 ME FOR -

NOTHING - WILL - DEFEAT US - MY -

DARLING - MITSU - IN - FUTURE XO -

WITH - MY - 2 - TEACUP - MALTESE -

MALES - ALL - 4 - OF US - A - QUAD -

WE - WILL - 'WAKE UP - THE - SUN' -

GOD - SAID - 'COMMAND - HIM' - SO -

I - COMMANDED GOD - 2 - MAKE MY -

LIFE - MORE BEAUTIFUL - RICHER YES -

BETTER - HEALTHIER STRONGER AND -

COMMANDED - GOD - 2 - MAKE - MY -

LOOKS - YOUNGER - ADAM - 900 YRS -

OLD - NO - WRINKLES - PERFECT - EYE -

SIGHT - I COMMAND - GOD - 2 MAKE -

MY EYES - SEE - BETTER - THAN ADAM -

NOT - BORN - AGAIN - COULDN'T XO -

SPEAK - IN - TONGUES - WE'RE MORE -

POWERFUL - THAN - PEOPLE - 2,000 -

YEARS - AGO - B 4 - JESUS - ARRIVED -

ON - EARTH - COMMANDED IN THE -

NAME - OF - JESUS - MAKATI - I'M XO -

BRINGING - MITSUO - MANY PLACES -

BOTH - OF - US - ALWAYS MATCHING -

BETTER - CAMOUFLAGE - BLENDING -

ALWAYS - THAT - BCOZZY - NECK - 2 -

KEEP - CHIN - UP - COMFORT - NECK -

TRAVEL - PILLOW COLORS - 2 BLEND -

WITH - OUR - CLOTHES - MY - YES AS -

CAT - DOMESTIC - SERVICE TRAINED -

JESUS - IS - LORD - USA - POLICE - YES -

SHOOT - DOGS - CATS - EUROPE AND -

ASIA - EAT - THEM - THUS - THE BLACK -

PLAGUE - WIPED - OUT - NORTH ASIA -

EUROPE - AFRICA - TOTAL IN EUROPE -

1347 - 14TH - CENTURY - GOREO - XO -

ENDEED - IN - THE - 14TH - KINGDOM -

OF KOREA - (+1 MILLION - YEARS - KR) -

BLK DEATH - PLAGUE - CLAIMED - AN -

ASTONISHING - 20 MILLION - LIVES -

JUST 4 YEARS - REASON - THEY ATE -

CATS - KITTENS - DOGS - PUPPIES & -

SELDOM BATHE - AS - HUMANS XO -

& - PROMISCUOUS - LET - KIDS - GO -

ANYWHERE - DO - ANYTHING - SO -

NEVER CARED - THAT MUCH - FOR -

SOCIAL - REASONS - ACCEPTANCE -

KIDS - MADE - NOT - BECAUSE - SO -

2 - LOVE - THEM - NOT LOVING XO -

PEOPLE - CURRENTLY - COV-ID - 19 -

KILLED - WORLD - TOTAL - & - NEW -

(4,701,438) - (2,276) - ASIA - TRUE -

(1,096,130) - 608 - LARGEST - POP -

CHINA - (+1.4 BILLION) - INDIA - 2 -

(+1.3 BILLION) - EUROPE - THAT'S -

(1,203,173) - (865) - CORONAVIRUS -

RESPIRATORY - DISEASE - BUT - USA -

AMAZON - CLEAR - FACE - MASK - 2 -

OPEN - ON SIDES - SO - INVENTORS -

EASY - 2 PERFECT - THAT - CLEAR XO -

MASK - THEN SELL - CHEAPER - HOT -

BRITISH - SHORTHAIR - CATS USING -

U - PUT - LIKE - GLASSES - BUT CLEAR -

COVERING - FACE - CUTE - BUT ALSO -

BLOCKS - FOG - SO - FACE - DOESN'T -

BECOME WET - (PNEUMONIA) - AND -

THAT - KILLS KIDS - BABIES - SENIORS -

EVIL - ARMED - MEN - AND - WOMEN -

NOT - MARRIED - AND - NON-VIRGIN -

EVIL - GOATS - FLORIDA - ALL - NUDE -

COLONY - LIKE BACK - 2 - CAVE AGE -

THEY MERGE FAST - SO - ABORTION -

CLINIC FREE - 4 - AGE 18 - & - OLDER -

LIKE - XFINITY - BACK - 2 - CABLE SO -

EXCITED 4 U - GOT - MORE MONEY -

ME - THEY - FORGOT CABLE BOXES -

ANOTHER - CALL - NEW - ROKU TV -

STICK - USB - AND - HDMI - OR - XO -

ELECTRICITY - PLUG - WITH - HDMI -

XFINITY - STREAM - PLUS - OUR XO -

NEED - GOOGLE - MOVIES - WE -

PAID 4K - 8K - HD - ($39.99) - AT -

AMAZON.COM - WE'VE - BEEN -

PAYING RENTAL BOXES - ILLEGAL -

OMISSION - OF - TRUTH - FAMILY -

OWNED USA - ($0 - $250,000 FINE) -

(AND - OR - IMPRISONMENT) - THEY -

EMAIL - MONTHLY - NONE - THAT -

SAID - ROKU - STICK - ($39.99) - SO -

NO - NEED - ANYMORE - 4 - CABLE -

BOX RENTALS - OWNERSHIP NOW -

2 - SONY HDTVs - 1 MORE - $39.99 -

GOOGLE - MOVIES - 4K - 8K - & HD -

MORE - MONEY - 2 - BUY - FILMS & -

U - OWN - BEST - PART - IN - EVENT -

OF - FIRE - YOU'RE - INSURED AND -

GOOGLE - MOVIES - FOREVER YES -

STORAGE AND - WHAT U BOUGHT -

DIDN'T - BURN - WHEN - YOUR XO -

HOUSE - OR - APT - BURNT - TIME 2 -

BUY - WISELY - IN - THE - FUTURE - 4 -

CAN'T - B - BURNT - IS - EXCITING & -

THE - FUTURE - (6:23A EDT) - SMALL -

COUNTRIES - MAS - MAGANDA - XO -

MANY - MEAN - 'LABO' - WE - LOVE -

AND - SERVE - OUR - INVISIBLE GOD -

WHO - LOVED - US - FIRST - WAITED -

'TIL - WE WERE - BORN - AND NOW -

THAT - LOVE - WE - HAVE - FR - HIM -

OTHERS - DON'T - HAVE - KOREA -

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LIKE - LAMBS - SLAUGHTERED - & -

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DON'T - DATE - OR - PLANNED - 2 -

MARRY - POOR & UGLY KOREANS -

HE - STABBED - THEM - 2 - DEATH -

WENT - ALL - THE - WAY - AFTER -

STABBED - MORE - THE KOREAN -

GOAT - KILLED THEM - 4 - HE XO -

DETESTED - SHE - WAS NOT -

GOING 2 MARRY - HIM FOR -

THOSE REASONS STABBED -

HER MOM - BECAUSE - NOT -

LIVING - WITH - HER HUSBAND -

NOT - MARRYING SOON - AND -

HE - DIDN'T - LIKE THAT - KILLED -

THEM - 4 - NOT - ORGY - 4 - HIM -

2 OF THEM - WITH HIM - 3 DAYS -

ATE - FOOD - FR - THEIR - APT - IN -

SEOUL - NORTH - KOREAN MOM -

& - YOUNG - SON - DIDN'T STAB -

FR - THE - DOOR - OPENED - 2 -

KILL - ALL - INSIDE - 2 - EAT ALL -

THEIR - KOREAN FOOD - THEY -

JUST DIED - WITH - DIGNITY FR -

'ACUTE - HUNGER' - EVEN YES -

SEOUL - POLICE - REFUSED - 2 -

EVEN - GIVE - A - JOB - 2 THEY -

CAN EAT - INSTEAD OF - STABBING -

KOREANS - 2 - GET - INSIDE - THEIR -

APTS - 2 - EAT - FOOD - THEY - DIED -

WITH - DIGNITY - IN - THEIR SEOUL -

APT - RENT - LAST - MONTH - PAID -

WHO'S - BETTER - WELL - THEIR -

MISTAKE - WAS - THEY - RISKED -

SHOOTING - 2 - GO - 2 - SOUTH -

KOREA - WHEN - PILIPINAS WAS -

BETTER - WARMER - FRIENDLIER -

CHEAPER - FOOD & DRINK - SO -

ANSWER - 'NORTH - KOREANS -

ARE - BETTER' - JESUS - IS LORD -

PINOYS - BCOZ - 'DAHIL' - 'Z Z' -

IS - 'SIRA - ULO' - DEE DEE - Z Z -

SLEEPS - SOON - 'ZY' - SIYA AY -

KOREAN - MALE - BCOZZY - IS -

'SICK' - BCOZZY - IS - WEIRDO -

WE'RE - ALL - LEAVING - SEOUL -

ALL - OF - KOREA - SOON DIBA -

'STRONGER SOMEWHERE -

ELSE' - 'MABUHAY' - 'LIVE -

LONG - FINISH - STRONG' -

GLORIA COPELAND - PAPERBACK -

FORT WORTH - TEXAS - TX - THUS -

AMAZON.COM - BCOZZY - CHIN -

SUPPORT - TRAVEL - PILLOW - YES -

UNIQUE - US - PATENT - MACHINE -

WASHABLE - 'BE - COZZY' - Z Z -

SLEEPING - SOON - PRETTY XO -

COLORS - ($25.45) - AMAZON -

PRIME - FREE - DELIVERY TRULY -

ARRIVES - TOMORROW - MON -

20 SEP 2021 - ORDER - WITHIN -

16 HRS - 36 MIN - THEY - ALSO -

ACCEPT - SNAP - EBT - THAT'S -

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REPEAT - 'PURCHASES' - 15% -

OFF - (150 CAL) - (5:55P PHT) -

HOPE - YOUR - SUNSET WAS -

BEAUTIFUL - & - NOW - 9:02P

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this-is-my-main-i-follow-from · 4 years ago

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I already wrote this post, but I’m coming backk up to the top to put a cut bc it’s p long.

my brother is singing falsettos out loud & I’ve already had a stressful day bc I’ve done nothing (lack of structure & lack of productivity gives me really bad anxiety) & he’s either singing out of key & out of time, or it just sounds really bad without the music. He’s the only one who can hear the music bc HeadPhones. & also the falsettos is probably really bad for my mom bc she’s mad that dad left her, esp bc the house is a mess & stressing her out & she needs to go grocery shopping & he used to do that “but now he doesn’t because he stopped loving [her]”, so my bro singing fucking falsettos is really bad. I can’t cook supper bc I don’t have a recipe & the stuff is still frozen & idk what kind of dough I should make & besides the kitchen is a mess & he won’t fucking clean it. I mean it’s also partially my fault bc I’m a lazy adhd mofo, but it’s his job today & my job to cook. I need to get into the kitchen & cook before mom & my OTHER brother get home from shopping but I can’t bc he’s just drawing & singing & the singing is so annoying- I was trying to listen to a thing but I couldn’t fricking hear it bc adhd auditory processing disorders, it didn’t have fucking subtitles or anything & it was not great audio quality & I couldn’t differentiate between the words he was singing, & I couldn’t hear the quiet parts when they overlapped with his singing. I wasn’t going to write all of this I was just going to say that his singing makes me want to cut myself, but apparently there’s a lot more to it. also I don’t want to end up cooking while mom is home bc I don’t have any drawings on my arm & mom is fucking nosy & wants to see my scars so I have to work extra hard at hiding them but even with ppl who arent nosy, like my little bro I don’t like them out, but the longer my older bro sits there fucking yelling out of key, the longer I’m delayed & I won’t be able to cook. By this point, I won’t even be able to cook the meal I was planning on, I have so much shit to do I’ve missed so much & I’m so behind, but I’m so incapable of doing anything like i can’t do chores bc I use the excuse I have homework but I never fucking do my homework so I’m also behind in school & even with the stuff I like like dnd & writing & violin I can’t do, & I skipped online kung fu & I’ve been slacking off under so many excuses but I’m just being lazy & anxious & I also gained so much weight & it makes my body feel so bad & i know this isn’t my body’s happy weight & being fat makes my boobs bigger & I’m fucking trans & I hate them I even tried cutting them off myself & ended up waiting 15 hours to go to the hospital so that I wouldn’t make mom suspicious (& they put me through triage really fast bc apparently I did a lot of dammage- I was planning on giving myself stitches, but my icepack melted & I couldn’t numb my body anymore so they’re lucky I even went to the hospital, it was bad bc I had to walk 20 minutes either way weighted down with a fucking toolbox & I waited outside in the cold bc my phone died & thus:) mom found out anyways so I lied to her about going to buy drugs bc obv /that’s/ a better idea than telling her I went to the hospital & SHUT UP UNNAMED OLDER BROTHER ok he’s between songs now. If I told mom I went to the hospital she would ask why & be like “y didn’t u tell me” & “r u cutting urself again” & like yeah bitch I have been for a while ik the social worker said I should tell you a codeword, but I don’t do that bc u blame yourself or cry or want to talk about & I yes I fucking cut myself what of it? Yeah I tried fucking removing my own left breast, bc u arent’ supportive of medical transitioning, at least not when they’re ur kids. Ur mad at dad bc he got a tattoo bc it’s body modification & thus uncatholic, but u’ll support ur catholic university friends gettin gtheir eldest daughter a reduction bc her boobs are big & painful- bitch what’s so different about me? I went so far as to try giving myself a reduction, you say you’re concerned about me mutilating my body & making bad decisions, but, you know what? because of this I have legitimately mutilated my body, & made a dangerous & bad decision. isn’t autosurgery proof that I need top surgery bc it’s a danger to my life if I don’t get it? The government is able to pay for it I think & bc it’s a danger to my health (& i get pain & I can’t work out & I get back pain & my skin pulls & hurts & if I jump my tissues yank my skin & it hurts & it puts so much strain on my back, & binding gives me pain, so I need a reduction as much as your catholic university friends’ daughter does) I should be abe to qualify. Even if I don’t qualify yet & have to wait two years, at least that would be the start of two years now instead of in a long time, I mean, mum, you say you want me to talk about it & you’re afraid I’m rushing into it? guess what? They are too! the healthcare system will make me do a bunch of shit to qualify, & tbh, I think that they are better qualified to talk to me about surgery & what I really want than you. Fucking finally, I hope my brother is done his play & finally shuts up. TA MA DE FUCK NO HE’S STARTING AGAIN CROWS DAMN IT CROWS CROWS CROWS & MAGGOTS I”m not even gonna be able to make anythiung for supper & i have no ideas besides the long one which I don’t have time for anymore. fine. whatever. I’ll go SH in my room. I won’t even work on fanfic bc I’m too fucking adhd & broken. I fucking hate it when ppl say “we;re all a bit adhd” like no bitch shut the fuck up, we all struggle with the things adhd ppl struggle with sometimes, but adhd is a neurological condition that makes those struggles so commonplace & intense that it affects our everyday lives. & no. adhd does not mean we’re more creative. Even if we do have more likeliihood of coming up with funky ideas, most of us struggle to articulate them or understand them, or we forget them as soon as they come. you’re not adhd bc you’re a little more creative, youre just an ableist asshole & fuck you. adhd isn’t creativity its’ a fucking disability. I’m directing this at those fucking parents who have the lovely nd daughter who gave me a hug, but you two are motherfuckers. Yeah I get thaat adhd, once you learn how to mannage it, can be useful, & I understand that part of the reason this disability is so hard is bc society isn’t designed for it (like a lefty using right hand scissors), but ot’s still fuxking REAL & if you can’t deal with it yet, it 100% is a disanbility. OK? Ok. I had smth I was going to say earlier, but I got distracted by smth else that made me mad, so I never got around to it. Youo know what I love? I fucking love how tumblr has next to no character limit so I can just type as much as I want. You know what I don’t like? I’ll probably get deactivated by some SJW maggot-eaten crow-fucker who thinks that my rant& mentioning my failed ed & my self harm (oh fuck shut up, my brother is chanting “dumb”) so anyways some fucking sjw fuck-hole will report this post & my blog & I’ll be deactivated for simply getting angry on tumblr. It’s fucking tumblr! You used to be able to say whatever you needed to say! But now, esp us ppl w EDs, have no safe place to talk about our issues (at least, not w/o fear of gettin gterminated for “encouraging” EDs, when we’re just trying to help ourselves). Anywasy, sorry for all the swears & go se, I swear when I’m mad. I’m gonna go do smth, idk what. Can’t be anything productive, Can’t even be unproductive stuff I like, like watching youtubem, or smth cathartic like playing fiddle. I might just go & bleed a bit & ignore everything for a while. I nkow that the world will still be stressful when I get back, & I’ll still have to cook, & I’ll still be behind in school, & mom will still be broken-hearted over dad, but I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it so that’s what I’ll do.

#dom personal #vent #various triggers

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lunar-jimin · 4 years ago

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W H A T A H E A V E N L Y W A Y T O D I E : C H A P T E R I

p a i r i n g : yoongi x fem!reader

r a t i n g : PG-13

g e n r e : college!au, alternate reality, fluff, future smut, future angst, e2l

w o r d c o u n t : 1127

w a r n i n g s : swearing

s e r i e s s u m m a r y : you never thought the quiet boy in the back of the class would be your greatest competition for a prestigious music internship. and who knew he could be so loud?

a/n: hello loves! here’s the first full chapter of what a heavenly way to die. please let me know what you think about it!

| previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist |

You were sure you were garnering strange looks from the students around you as you sped down the narrow hall but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You missed the bus and you weren’t ready to be late to class for the first time in four years. A binder of sheet music clutched in one hand and violin case in the other, you wove in and out of clumps of people.

Crashing through the door with seconds to spare, you immediately found your seat and slumped down on the hard wooden chair. Beside you, Winter, a fellow violinist and Duchess of Alyran, raised her eyebrow.

“Missed the bus.”

She nodded before turning back to Namjoon, her ever faithful bodyguard.

You turned back to the front of class, where Professor Oh was scribbling on the chalkboard. Using the sleeve of your shirt, you dabbed the droplets of sweat perched on your brow. There was nothing in the world you hated more than running, and thanks to your missed alarm, you had done more than your fair share of it today.

“Ok, class, before we start back in with Tchaikovsky, I wanted to bring to your attention that applications for the Queen’s Internship for Aspiring Artists are due at the end of October.”

Murmurs broke out across the room. The Queen’s Internship for Aspiring Artists, more commonly known as the Queen’s Musician, was an opportunity for four classical music majors from the Anntonette Royal Academy of the Arts to work with His Majesty’s Orchestra, an internship that generally became a job. It was every musician’s dream, and you were no exception.

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you the prestige that comes with this internship,” Professor Oh continued, “not to mention the paycheck. Thus I encourage all of you to apply. You can do it online on the royal website, or you can pick up a paper form from me during office hours.”

You glanced at Winter and saw that her eyes were just as afire as yours. Ever since you had picked up your first bow at age five, you had dreamed of sitting as first chair while the richest people in the world danced to your music. It was competitive, no doubt, and only those that were completely and utterly dedicated to the craft succeeded.

Class passed quickly, your mind no longer focused on the strings beneath your fingers, instead you were dreaming of royal ballrooms. As you were leaving, Professor Oh called out after you.

“Are you planning on applying for the Queen’s Internship for Aspiring Artists?”

“Of course.”

“Oh good. I know that I’m not supposed to have opinions on such matters, but I think you stand a good chance of playing with our kingdom’s best musicians by the end of the school year.”

She gave you a fond smile and you were reminded once again of why Oh was your favorite professor. She taught your first theory class Freshman year and you had been working with her ever since.

“I sure hope you’re right. I think I speak for everyone in the music department when I say being in that orchestra is the dream. Your confidence in me means a lot.”

“Of course,” she grins.

“Oh, and I wanted to give you the piece we’re working on next week in my freshman class,” she handed you a piece of sheet music, “I know you’re busy with your senior year and everything, but it would mean the world to me if you drop by. I’ve talked you up quite a bit and the students would be very pleased if you could perform for them.”

“It would be my honor.”

“Very well then, have a good rest of your day.”

“You too Professor Oh.”

You gave her a polite nod, before leaving into the crowded hallway. Trying to fit the sheet music into your binder without dropping your case proved to be quite difficult. It was because of this that you didn’t notice Yoongi until it was too late.

For the second time in as many weeks, you found yourself on your ass, this time with papers flying everywhere.

“Ow, fuck.”

You were happy your ankle was spared, but your ass wasn’t so lucky. You were fully prepared to wake up tomorrow morning with a bruised behind.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.”

It felt like deja vu, Yoongi once again by your side, concern plastered across his face.

“I’m fine Yoongi, although if I don’t act soon, my music may not be.”

Yoongi just then seemed to notice the paper everywhere around you and immediately moved to begin collecting it up. The two of you scurried to gather it all before some stoned freshie fucked it all up.

“So, how you been?”

“Yoongi, you were literally texting me last night.”

Ever since you gave him your number, the two of you found yourselves texting every night for hours on end. In fact, your oversleeping this morning had been the direct result of you and Yoongi’s debate on the greatest composer of the twentieth century which ended somewhere around three in the morning.

“I know, I know. I’m just shitty at small talk.”

He gave you a lopsided grin.

“You seem to do just fine if you can use emojis?”

“Oh, shut up.”

You laughed. Even though it was fairly new, you really enjoyed your friendship with Yoongi. His intellectual humor and passion that rivaled your own made you compatible.

“So Yoongs, are you applying for the Queen’s Musician?”

The two of you had successfully collected your papers and were now loitering on the side of the hallway, waiting for it to clear up.

“You’re kidding right?” he snorted, “Of course I am. I would be a fool not to.”

“That’s true.”

“Are you?”

You looked at him and raised your eyebrow.

“Right Of course you are.”

“I would be a fool not to,” you mock.

“Wouldn’t it be so cool if we both got it?”

“That would be amazing. A miracle.”

“Yeah, it would be.”

“God, I’ve been dreaming about this since I was ten. It’s so crazy that I’m about to apply.”

“Tell me about it. I’ve been dreaming about it since I was five. Lord knows if I’ll even survive the heart attack I’ll have if I get it.”

“You’ll survive, you’ll have to.”

“Thanks for the support.”

“Always.”

The crowd in the hall had died down to a few lingers like yourselves.

“Well, I’ve got to go. I told Daisy and Jungkook I would meet up with them for lunch.”

“Oh well, have fun.”

“Yeah, I will. See you around Yoongs.”

“See ya.”

He smiled, and you were very hopeful that the feeling in your stomach was hunger and not butterflies.

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #yoongi #college #yoongi college #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic #what a heavenly way to die

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life Review

Happy Birthday To Me, as I continue my birthday celebration by taking a look at comics that have a personal connection to me.. And for our main feature, i’m taking a look at the first volume of a series that was vitally important to a teenage me, Scott Pilgrim.

Scott Pilgrim is the brainchild of Brian Lee’O’Malley. O’Malley came up with the concept from a number of things. Being a fan of the band Plumtree, O’Malley was curious about the name of their song “Scott Pilgrim” and wondered who this Scott Pilgrim guy was. So over the years he slowly built the guy up in the back of his mind using bits of his life and what not. As for why he ends up fighting 7 evil exes, that came from a discussion with his then girlfriend, later wife and currently ex-wife Hope Larson, where he threw off the joke that her exes should form some kind of League. After finishing his first solo work Lost at Sea, O’Malley decided Scotty would be his next project and the rest is history. To date while O’Malley has written two works since, Seconds which is delightful and Snotgirl which didn’t grab me but I intend to try again, Scott remains his most popular work, in large part due to it’s SUBLIME video game and movie adaptations, the former of which is finally getting a rerelease next month.

The series charm is in it’s style: A manga styled comic that combines two desperate kinds of story: Shonen Fight Manga and Slice of Life Indie Comics. The story shifts from Scott going through normal life stuff while trying to make his new relationship work and get his shit together and Scott getting into big bombastic fights with his new sweetie’s exes for the right to keep dating her and to you know, stay alive. The series effortlesly blends a video game like world with real grounded characters and is wonderful for it. As for where I came in, one Free Comic Book day I found a little comic named Free Scott Pilgrim, which I genuinely loved and was instantly charmed by it’s humor and well done art. So I picked up the second and third volumes of the series proper and the first once I could find it and the rest ,as they say, is history. For my high school life, this was one of hte most important things in it and I wrote fanfiction, which I thankfully never put online and in general enjoyed the hell out of the series. Then I just kind of.. let it sit on my shelf for a while. It wasn’t BAD, I just never got back to it and as the franchise went dormant I just sorta slept on it and the movie and that part of me...

Cut to a few weeks ago, when Comixology did a massive sale for black friday that marked a ton of Graphic Novels down to just 1 buck each, and the color editions of Scott Pilgrim happened to be part of this, though only volume 1 was that cheap. But thanks to my best friend micheal and an early christmas/birthday present I got the rest and got to revisit the series as a whole, with me rethinking my previous thoughts of volume 1 and thus.. wanting to review it and share both why this series is so damn special and what’s good, and what’s not so good about it. I’ll also be covering the game, once i’ts re-released, and the movie once i’m finsihed with the comics so look out for that. And get ready to take a trip to the glorious land of canada...

As a heads up and as you can tell i’ll be using the color version as while I could get scans of the black and white, I prefer the color version. While the black and white was fine and always will be, I think the impressive coloring job really adds to thing and makes the already great fight scenes pop more, as well as making certain background elements stand out a bit. While it does negate the black and white gags, the tradeoff is more than worth it. That being said either version is fine so if you can get the black and white cheaper that’s fine and i’ve kept my original copies, with volumes 4 -6 having been picked up as they came out.

So as our story starts we meet our hero: Scott Pilgrim Age 23, a charming but jobless and kind of sketchy possible college graduate whose really been adrift in his life since a breakup about a year ago. And when our story opens he’s taken a turn for a worse and decided to date sweet but naive and inexperinced Knives Chau, a 17 year old girl. And why yes the power dynamics there are messed up and why yes Scott is pretty damn sketchy in this moment in time, and while yes I am aware the age of consent in canada is 16, it dosen’t make this any less greasy and the story knows that. And how it knows that MOST of his friends aren’t on board. The only ones who seems to is Stephen Stiles, leader of Sex Bomb-Omb, the band scott’s in with one of the best names ever and even then it’s hard to tell if he’s being sarcastic or just a total douche. The other, Young Neil Nordgraf, Stephen’s roomate, is well 19 or 20 and kind of a dipshit so we just ignore him. I used to use him as kind of a projection, to put myself in the adventure when I was younger as Neil kind of lacks personality in the comics but in the comics.. he’s not hte best or most complex character. He is great in the movie though and Edgar Wright did an amazing job fleshing him out. The rest of his circle are .. not so permissive. His best friend, roomate and king of all gays for all time Wallace Wells very much does not want to come with Scott to school to pick her up because every part of that sentence after hurt to type. Granted Scott gets him to come with him with promises of boys, but frankly knowing wallace he was probably just playing along/wants to protect this poor child. His ex and fellow bandmate Kim is clearly bothered by it and is flat out worried Scott is taking advantage of her. Kim and Wallace are easily my faviorites both for personality and because I have a massive crush on both. With Wallace it just didn’t manifest till the reread. Finally Scott’s kid sister Stacey chews him out over it before genuinely wondering if he’s gone insane or he’s actually happy. For my two cents: he’s not. He WANTS to be, but he dosen’t know how. And as someone whose both neurotypical, which given Scott’s troubles with empathy and relating to people like yours truly I strongly suggest he is, and has struggled with depression I can relate to that. He wants to move on but he just.. can’t, he just wants to get past the haze he’s been in since Envy dumped him.. but he dosen’t know how. So instead of doing someting constructive or finding a job or anything .. he just took the first and easiest way out of his depression he could. I’ve done that with video games and stuff. Scott did that by entering a relationship that’s really easy, requires only so much effort, and is with someone who utterly adores, looks up to him and will never expect better. Being with Knives makes him feel better.. but it dosen’t MAKE him a better person. As i’ve made clear dating someone just for a boost makes him actively worse and had fate not intervened, I shudder to think what Scott might have become. That being said his actoins are still creepy and since Scott has a habit of landing ass backwards into being an asshole here’s a counter to track that. That’s 2 for doing this overall, one for tleling her to be good, and 1 for trying to ply wallace with underage boys.

Your the Scum of the Earth Scott Counter: 1

Thankfully fate does and Scott’s dreams, ones of him crawling through a desert alone, are interupted by a mysterious pink haired girl on skates. The next day he’s just sort of in a daze, kind of confused, and even more so when he sees her IN REAL LIFE, while at the library with Knives. He’s understandably frazzled but ends up finding out he’s not hallucinating when talking to MIcheal Cormeau. Micheal is a minor character and another artist and friend of o malley’s who represents that one guy in social circles who knows everybody. And indeed he knows the mystery girl, Ramona Flowers and that she’s there. Scott TRIES talking her up but just creeps her out, so Scott goes with plan b and decides to ask around about her. Enter Sandra and Monique, two college aquantinces of Scott, who just sorta show up at major events and aren’t that developed or intresting. They turn him to Julie who forbids him to date her. To which I say.

Naturually we’ll aslo be needing a counter for this.

Shut Up Julie Counter: 1

Scott however did find out she’s a delivery girl for Amazon Canada, and thus orders some CD’s on Wallace’s Credit card to hopefully see her. And while his behavior IS obessive.. it’s understandable. I’d be weirdly obessed with finding someone too if they showed up in my dreams every day and were apparently a real person. I’d probably play it cooler but still i’ts kind of understandable. So after a day with knives in which he’s clearly checked out she kisses him, he freaks out and it’s very clear that while Scott’s good at attracting women he’s just.. not good with his emotions and has finally woken up to how messed up this is, but has no idea how to get out now he’s intrested in someone he actually has a future with maybe. Speaking of Scott’s package and Ramona finally arrive. Scott’s move is to.. ask her out abrubtly but after he mentions her Dreams, Ramona finally puts two and two together and explains things: She’s been using Subspace, a seris of highways connected by the subconcious and apparently more common in america, though it’s later revealed she was taught this but being the first book with a lot of the lore and what not ironed out this is fine. Point is she was just using his dreams as transit and didn’t mean to get him obessed. Scott continues to try his schtick and eventually gets her to agree to hang out with him. Why she does I generally do not know, as SCott basically fell ass backwards over himself conversationally, but whatever. If he didn’t succeed we wouldn’t have a plot.

That being said things pick up a bit with the date though. The scene is really good and simply just the two.. talking. Having plesant conversations getting to know one another. That good stuff. it’s just really nice to read and it’s hard to explain why. Highlights include Scott’s x-men patch, Ramona not wanting to talk about her last job and Scott admitting he hasn’t been obessed in a long time.. and it comes off sweet rather htan creepy like that sounds. It just means he hasn’t fell this head over heels felt like this. As I said Knives was easy.. but this is hard.. and this.. feels right. So as things Snow Ramona yanks scott through subspace to escape the blizzard.

So we end up back at Ramona’s place and she offers some tea which leads to one of the best gags of the volume as she lists them off:

So Ramona goes to get Scott a blanket, Scott ends up following finds her changing, and she decides to warm him up another way.. by embracing him... cue.. the inevitible really.

It feels organic though: The two are clearly attracted to each other and while Scott came on as strong as freaking colossus, he still rebounded well once they hung out and he could relax a bit and show the scott underneath the lairs of dumbass. The two end up cuddling in bed and Scott seems..genuiley happy saying he needed this... awwwwwww. They part the next morning with him asking her to his band’s performance.

So Scott finds Wallace at home who says what Scott needs to hear “You need to break up with your fake highschool girlfriend scott’ Granted the entire first 40 pages could’ve been titled that but now he’s actively cheating. He’s also got a letter.

youtube

It’s a death threat Scott barely grazes through, just like an email earlier.

But scott’s more concerned with his emotional distress.. i.e. the consequences of his throughly shitty actions finally hitting him in the face.

Scott heads to practice for his gig and can’t bring himself to break up with knives, but does find out about the opposition: Crash and the Boys, based on an NES game title because of course it is. Crash, their leader, Joel their baseplayer who scott hates because he hates all other baseplayers (”I don’t hate myself kim) and Trasha, an 8 year old progedy they found playing Drum Mania. Don’t ask me what that is, i’m not going to get every refrence.

So at the show Scott runs into Stacey and her new boyfriend Jimmy with Stacey being supportive. And then Knives shows up and then RAMONA SHOWS UP. Oh no scott’s cheating might be discovered!

So Scott books it while we’re introduced to Crash and the Boys. Wallace heckles them, to the band’s annoyance, until they eventually get fed up and we easly get the best gag of the volume. I was wrong this clearly tops the tea thing.

So Crash and The Boys continue to play their set, including a song that supposdely kills the audience but really knocks them out.. which of course bothers kim because they play next. Meanwhile Ramona and Stacey meet and the two really get along.. and come back to find the audience ko’d and Wallace Making out with Stacey’s boyfriend. Oh no! Which is a dick move, no question. But Stacey’s next move is questionable even for a 19 year old: She says “You won’t steel another guy from me and tells wallace to sit over there”. Okay Stacey even if he is bi, and this series has trouble with the concept of bisexuals we’ll get into that later trust me, he made out with someone else entirely while on a date with you. Wallace is still an asshole, it’s part of his charm.. but it dosen’t change the fact your date kissed someone else seconds after you were gone and has been eyballing him all night, as seen even above. He’s not into you as you thought, just accept it, move on, and kick Jimmy in the balls and then wallace like a proper lady. So Scott prepares to play and this happens

And it’s here, at the very end of the comic the series main premise finally kicks in and the world takes it’s true shape. It’s a world where an indie comedy about a mess of a being putting his life together after finding his dream girl.. also has said mess being forced to get into fist fights with wizards, movie stars, vegans, half-ninjas, twin roboticists and a katana wielding douchenozzle record exec in order to continue to have the right to date his girlfriend.

It’s where the series charm comes from and really what made it a huge sucess so it’s no suprise this volume perks up immensley for the climax. I’ll get more into it’s pacing problem at the end. For now it’s fight time and as we find out in a hilarious and awesome turn.. Scott is the best fighter in toronto.. which just makes me REALLLY want a Scott Pilgrim version of letterkenny. I mean who wouldn’t want to see wayne fight some guy who can turn his hands into dragons or see Squireely Dan do E.Honda’s hand slap move from streetfighter or see the skids all fuse into one mega emo. It’s just.. the possiblities are as endless as they are wonderous and I want this now.

But yeah as Patel is both the first boss and Scott’s first real opponent Scott.. handles him really easily. This was by design as O’Malley wanted a shonen progression to the fights.. and honestly it’s a great way to do things. Since the fights are styled after shonen and video games, and both have power based progression in bad guys and threats, it just made sense. Patel.. is just pathetic even with his magic powers, and his habit of sending letters and emails just pounds it in. Though he is right to be a bit pissed Scott didn’t read a letter he hand delivered in a snowstorm. That’s just a tad rude.

Mid-Fight, Scott, now he knows the whole evil ex boyfriend thing, wonders what Matt and Ramona’s past is and while Matthew refuses to tell.. Ramona spills easily. It was midddle school, all the jocks wanted her for whatever reason, likely because from experince in high school, guys really like indie girls. Matthew was the only non-white non jock, so they teamed up and with her strength and his mystic powers they beat them.. but since his use had dried up, she flipped him off and left. Matthew dosen’t take this well and summons demon hipster chicks to fight while Scott and co, minus ramona, fight back with a finger gun routine and block his fire balls before propelling Scott into matthew somehow, and landing the KO Evil Exes Left: 6 Matthew bursts into coins though fun fact, O’Malley says the Exes all respawned back at home afterwords and learned their lesson. With Pattel I genuinely don’t think he did... but clearly given his penchant for formality what with the letters and emails, he probably felt it’d break protocol to attack before the rest were done. He probably jsut formed a hipster emo band and found more sucess using his magic for that instead and just forgot about the whole thing. Could be wrong but that’s what i’m going with. So Scott asks Ramona to go out with him then make out with him, both of which she says yes to. Nice one scotty boy. Ramona then explains the whole evil exes thing: He’ll have to defeat each one as they come after him, and while Scott wonders if they’ll come one at a time Ramona’s not sure. As time will bear out, Scott is MOSTLY correct as most exes take him one on one, with the exception of the twins. But since as I said earlier the twins are basically one person, and as we’ll find out by choice, so it’s an exception. Plus their the last step before the final boss, so by that token it’s a bit fairer to have the penultimate boss get an unfair advantage. Scott is fine with that, he and Ramona share another moment and a kiss.. but Scott makes the mistake of asking if gideon is one and Ramona’s head starts glowing with her dodging the subject, though still going out with SCott and him worried.. it just feels.. off. not a bad ending but the only one of the series three cliffhanger endings that just dosen’t work for me, especailly since it is a bit before the Gideon mystery really picks up steam again. But with that we close this chapter

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Precious Little Life is a decent start to the story. While Scott is loathsome at first, he’s still a compelling character and does get more likeable as things go, the humor when it is there shines and is one of the series best assets and while the fight is short and only at the end, it is oh so glorious especailly in cover with the impacts taking cues from the movie. It’s a good intro to Scott’s world and ther’es a reason the movie adapts this book the closest as it sets up the cast and premise well, with only Stephen Stiles feeling a bit off and ONLY for the first few chapters. The volume is only really held back by it’s pacing, as before Scott runs into ramona in his dream the story feels a bit sluggish as we’re just watching some douche date a high school kid. While it is necessary to set up the world, it just dosen’t have the snappy pacing the series would be known for and that makes the rest of the series more charming. it’s nto BAD.. but it’s not FANTASTIC like the series would become. What keeps it from being bad is simple: These aren’t general badness signs but more just O’Malley coming into his owna nd getitng better and better as the book goes, to the point that by the next book the pacing is much better and by book 3 onwards he has it down pat. Overall not a BAD volume but certaionly the weakest of the bunch.. which given it’s still really good says something about the ride we’re in for. I’ll be back sometime in the future, likely january. Yup i’m taking on YET ANOTHER PROJECT. but since this one, while clearly exausting and time consuimg, is much shorter in overall length, and i’m still proritizing the three I have running over this, I think i’ll be just fine. Until next time, have a happy holiday.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrims precious little life #ramona flowers #wallace wells #kim pine #stephen styles #knives chau #neil nordgraf #julie powers #matthew pattel #gideon #crash and the boys #reviews #comics #oni press #micheal comereau #stacey pilgrim

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drwcn · 5 years ago

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... I must say, it's really nice to know it wasn't only I who found book!LWJ's attitude unnerving. He was shown a posessive there, I think? The funniest thing that TGCF I actually liked, because despite one of 'merry couple' fangirling for another for years, he still gave him free space and trusted to make his own decisions.

Hi anons! :)

This post is gonna get kind of wanky, so be warned. If you don’t want wank, well don’t read this post. I really don’t like to answer wank asks because only positive vibes for my blog please and thanks (but don’t worry anons, I’m not mad, I’m just gonna put the three of you together so I can talk about some of mdzs’s problems once and for all). Also disclaimer: my opinions are my own, I could be wrong about some things. I have only dabbled in the novel, some chapters here and there, and I really couldn’t finish it. I went ahead and read the original text, which is actually quite well written all things considered. The translations are fine, but it just doesn’t quite hit the spot. Thus, if I said some things which are factually incorrect, I am not opposed to being notified.

First and foremost, for the anon that asked “what’s wrong with mxtx?” The short answer is nothing is wrong with her. She’s an author who writes popular online novels with a wide readership. Clearly people are receptive to what she’s putting out there. Good for her, you know. It’s not easy to be that well received.

But in terms of her novels, there are several things that I personally don’t like. I’m just gonna list some of the things she’s said about MDZS/CQL. I have not consumed any of her other work.

First, her treatment of her female characters. In an interview, she literally said that most of the men in her MDZS novel are single because she didn’t want to come up with names for their wives. Like....what the fuck. Take from that what you will. Also, look at her female characters. Seriously, what kind of fates did they have? According to another OP, all the female characters’ lines in MDZS added up to 50 sentences. Don’t quote me on this, I did not fact check. This is just what I heard. But even within the narrative itself, let’s do a body count. Jiang Yanli died for plot. Wen Qing died for plot. Qin Su existed and died for plot. A-Jing existed for 45 seconds and then died for plot. Baoshan exists in narration only. Madam Yu was a raging asshole. Madam Jin treated Jin Guangyao like trash. Cangse Sanren: dead. Mama Lan: (no name lol) dead. Where are the fucking women? Where? Let’s not forget all the other women that existed purely as plot device: Sisi, Bicao, Meng Shi. Mianmian is the only one who lived, but she literally had to - quote Eliza Hamilton - “take myself out of the narrative” to do it.

Second, and this is a well known thing: mxtx claimed that the only canon gay relationship is wangxian, everyone else is straight because she doesn’t think it’s likely that there are that many gay people. If we interpret other male characters as couples, we’re free to have our own interpretation. ... ..... .... I’m fucking speechless. But also laughing because LHK and ZZJ literally ignored canon, and straight up made LXC and MY have a meet cute in class in front of everyone.

Third, but not least, let’s talk about book!Lan Wangji. The following will strictly be talking about book!Lan Wangji and not show!Lan Wangji. Show Lan Wangji is very nuanced and WYB’s micro-expressions are great. (You’re doing amazing sweeties, don’t ever stop).

What, pray tell, is book!LWJ’s personality? Silence is not a personality. book!LWJ is what we critics in the drama world call “高冷霸道总裁”, which is a trope in and of itself. And there’s nothing wrong with tropes, except a lot of viewers are getting...kind of sick of it, because it’s getting a little repetitive.

高冷 = arrogant and cold, but like... in an admirably good way. Or as I like to call it, a stick up the butt and no communication skills.

霸道总裁 = The Big Boss. Attention: lemme use some heteronormative language here for a second because most of cdrama is written this way. The Big Boss is the fictional counterpart to the real life 高富帅 (gao fu shuai: tall, rich and handsome, the moniker for an ideal husband) that many aunties and mothers wish their daughters could marry. This kind of character is tall, rich and will swoop in to save the damsel-in-distress - erm, I mean the strong independent female character - when she’s in trouble. Because even though she’s a strong independent character, and sometimes even the main character, somehow her fellow male lead still has to play her knight in shiny armor. Not like, he’ll sit down and listen to her talk about her problems, no, no, he has to pay for her expenses, bail her out of trouble, save her life, sacrifice himself, go against the world for her... sounds familiar???

Yeah.

And like, some novels do “the big boss” trope better than other. They give the “the big boss” a human side, let him interact with side characters, allow him to have friends, build on other relationships, such that he is 3D and can stand on his own. Eternal Love of Dream’s DongHua Dijun is a recent example which I think did a pretty good job of writing a male character that doesn’t let him revolve around the love interest 24/7.

book!LWJ doesn’t work for me because what exactly is his character growth? He serves to back up Wei Wuxian and.....????? He’s so flat in his character built. He loves Wei Wuxian and....that’s it. What else is there? If there’s other character traits y’all picked up on that I didn’t, please let me know because I find him so boring and at times disturbing (in terms of the nature of his physical relationship with Wei Wuxian).

In CQL, we saw Lan Wangji change as a character, we saw him struggle with morals and values, struggle against tradition and family and societal expectations. We watched him witness the death of Wei Wuxian and move on to face life afterwards. We know through the actions of Lan Sizhui that he helped raise a child who didn’t just follow rules blindly. When Wei Wuxian came back, we saw a matured Lan Wangji who had come into his own and was comfortable in his own skin. And in the end, when the dust settled and the truth was revealed, he rose to the occasion. Jin Guangyao’s death left a power vacuum, and Lan Wangji filled it. Someone once wrote an excellent post about Lan Wangji being attracted to Wei Wuxian’s sense of justice (recall Wang Yibo’s change in expression when Wei Wuxian prayed during the lantern ceremony). I think that is exactly right. For two individuals with such different personalities, their bond in my opinion lies in their ability to see right and wrong beyond rules and laws and customs.

In the book, canon ended with the two main character going at it in the grass, and I guess...yeah that’s cool. Happy ending right? But what they did learn? What was the point? Lan Wangji had lived 13/16 years without Wei Wuxian. He knew who he was. But for Wei Wuxian, he came back to life in another person’s body and went through a gazillion different revelation within days. He needed to find himself again, discover who he is, what he wants in this new life. That is a process he needs to do by himself, without external influences and pressure. He needs to be given a chance to decide that Lan Wangji is who he wants in this life, not in the last life, and when he does Lan Wangji will still be here, waiting for him, as he has always waited for him. Lan Wangji is the rock, the constant, the home that Wei Wuxian could always fall back on. He is not a prison, not a master, not the dictator of Wei Wuxian’s life. Theirs should be a partnership of respect and understanding. They are soulmates not only in the romantic sense, but because they understand each other better than anyone else.

Book!LWJ does not give us that. What it does give us is a badly written sexual intercourse that gives me the heebee-jeebees. Sometimes I think it’s even weirdly dub-con without intending to be dub-con. The truth is I can’t even begrudge mxtx for it, because she is not the only one to write in this way. I’ve read other c-novels and many many of them are like that. And here is where we’re getting into the discussion of cultural understanding/acceptance of sex, relationship, consent, gender roles and the what is taught to young adults in school. That is a rabbit hole I won’t go into.

So that’s it. My thoughts.

#cql wank #Anonymous #corie replies

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goldenhemmings · 5 years ago

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The Unforgettable Inning - A Stealing Second Extra | Baseball!Shawn

This is easily the quickest I’ve ever cranked out one of these extras; got the request today, knocked it out today. Don’t know what came over me. I’d recommend watching this before you read, it’ll help you understand the context of why the game referenced in the piece was so important. It was an elimination playoff game, it was being stolen from Toronto by horrible calls, and the fans were so on edge to the point where they were throwing things onto the field in protest. Then, Bautista. His home run released all the tension in every fan in the stadium. It was absolutely electrifying, and resulted in the most iconic bat flip of all time. One of the best moments in Blue Jays history. Anyways, here’s 1.9k words of Y/N trying to make Shawn feel better about baseball season being postponed. Enjoy!!

Baseball season should be a month in by now.

You and Shawn both knew it, and the two of you were slowly starting to go crazy. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand why the season had to be postponed, because you did. There were more important things right now than sports. But baseball was your entire life, and to say you and Shawn were going stir-crazy stuck inside the apartment with nothing to do all day was a massive understatement.

While you were upset yourself, you felt worse for Shawn. You, at least, still had a bit of work to do on a daily basis for your position with the team, but without a season, Shawn and the other players had nothing. He was trying to act like he was coping well, but you knew him too closely to believe him when he said he was doing fine.

He’d thrown himself into training, trying to maintain his baseball-season form so he’d be ready as soon as the league said it was able to resume play. The gym in your apartment complex wasn’t anything like the one he had access to at the stadium, but it was better than nothing, and he was taking advantage of what he had available.

With the extra time you now had on your hands, you wanted to do something for Shawn that would take his mind away from the stress of feeling trapped, which you knew he did. You had a plan in place, but you were waiting for him to leave to put it into action.

As you sat cross-legged on the couch, your computer in your lap, you watched Shawn come out of your bedroom dressed to workout and clutching a water bottle.

You looked up from your laptop, trying to remain nonchalant. “Have a good workout,” you said, and he leaned over to quickly kiss your forehead.

“Thanks, honey. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

As soon as you heard the front door swing shut behind him, you closed your laptop and tossed it to the side. You knew his workout wouldn’t be more than an hour, so you had to move quickly.

The first thing you did was call in a pizza, one half with everything but the kitchen sink on it for Shawn, because you knew he’d want the calories after a workout, and the other side plain cheese for you.

You then moved into your room and dragged the comforter off of your bed, doubling back to grab as many pillows and extra blankets as you could hold in your arms. You tossed it all down on the couch before pushing the coffee table sideways and out of the way to the side of the room.

You laid the blankets and comforter out on the floor in front of the couch until it made a comfortable enough cushion, arranging the pillows into a pile to rest against the bottom of the couch until you were satisfied with the way it looked.

When the pizza came you set the box on the coffee table, stacking two plates on top of it in preparation, then leaned over to plug in the fairy lights you’d finally convinced Shawn to let you put up in that corner of the apartment and dimmed the rest of the lights.

Once everything was set up to your satisfaction, you grabbed the remote to the TV and tapped it against your chin as you tried to decide what to watch, but you quickly got an idea that was better than any movie could’ve been. You switched over to YouTube, knowing exactly what to type in.

2015 ALDS Game 5 - Rangers vs. Blue Jays. You just about cried with happiness when you found the full game on YouTube. It was perfect.

It wasn’t long after you had everything ready that you heard Shawn’s key jiggling the lock on the door. Your head snapped up from where it was bowed over your computer in the same position you’d been in when he left, and as soon as he came through the door you could make out a furrow in his brow through the now-dimmed lighting of the apartment.

“What’s all this?” he asked, a smile grabbing at his lips even though he was clearly confused. He set his keys down on the table in the foyer, making his way over to you.

“Well,” you started, unable to keep yourself from grinning back at him, “I know you’ve been going crazy without baseball, and I have been, too, so I thought we could hang out and watch an old game or something.”

“Which one?”

“Hm,” you sighed, trying to think of a clue that wouldn’t give it away too easily. “It’s a good one, but I’m gonna make you guess it.”

He laughed. “Try me.”

“One of the most iconic Blue Jays games in this decade.”

“So it’s not from either of the World Series�� then,” he mused, “because that was the 90s.” You nodded, prompting him to continue.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Can I get one more hint?”

You made a show of rolling your eyes. “Fine,” you sighed out playfully. “I really expected more from you, though.”

“Shut up,” he laughed.

“Okay. The unforgettable inning.”

“2015?” he guessed immediately, and you smiled.

“Warmer.”

“ALDS game 5. Too easy.”

“Good job,” you teased. “I found the whole game online. I thought it’d be fun for us to watch it. I got pizza, too.”

He stared back at you with a small smile, and his silence elicited a nervous laugh from you. “What? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“This is just really thoughtful of you,” he said, leaning in to kiss you.

But you pressed a finger to his chest to keep him at a distance, to which he frowned. “What?”

“Shower first,” you teased. “You look like you just crawled out of a swamp.”

“You’re really lucky that you just did all this nice stuff for me, because otherwise I’d chase you around until you were covered in sweat like this, too, just for that comment.”

“Well that would be pointless anyways, because girls don’t sweat.”

“I hate you,” he laughed, but he allowed you to shove him off in the direction of the bathroom.

“Make it quick,” you called after him. “I’m bored already!”

After about 15 minutes he came back out, his hair damp and a pair of black athletic shorts hanging low on his hips.

“Do you want to get me a glass of wine before you sit down?” you asked, batting your eyes at him.

“No,” he said, but he went into the kitchen to get it anyway.

“I love you,” you called out jokingly, and you could visualize the way his eyes were rolling.

“I love me, too,” he said back. You just laughed. Such a shithead.

He came back over and handed you your wine glass, stepping over you to grab the box of pizza, the plates disregarded.

“Plates!” you whined, but Shawn didn’t care.

“Just don’t make a mess,” he answered matter-of-factly. “I don’t want to do dishes.”

“You mean you don’t want to sit on your ass while I do dishes?” you jabbed, but he wasn’t bothered because he knew it was an exaggeration.

“Yeah, exactly,” he answered sarcastically. “Get a piece so we can start the game.”

As soon as the 6th inning had ended, you felt a chill go down your back in anticipation of the excitement that was about to come.

“What?” Shawn asked, his chest shaking with a slight laugh. You were halfway lying on him, so he’d surely felt you shake.

You giggled. “I got the shivers. The 7th inning gives me goosebumps.”

“It hasn’t even started yet,” he teased, jabbing a finger into your side to make you jump.

“But I know what happens!” you laughed. You grabbed his forearm so he couldn’t poke at you anymore, which ended in a power struggle to see who could grab hold of whose wrists longer.

“If you make me miss a single pitch of this inning I will make you sleep on the couch tonight,” you threatened, but it didn’t sound very menacing when you were forcing the sentence out through giggles.

He sighed. “Fine.”

You sat up and scooted out of his reach as soon as he took his hands off of you, and you could instantly feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of your head. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t trust you!” you laughed. “I wanna actually watch this.”

“Truce,” he replied, holding his arms up in surrender. “I promise. Just come back.”

“So needy,” you teased, but you crawled back over to lie down on him again anyways.

When Bautista came up to bat after Toronto had tied it 3-3, you sat up and leaned slightly forward; you could not lie down and relax when you knew what was going to happen, especially considering the fact that you were already pretty fired up from the inning’s happenings thus far.

“Here it comes,” Shawn said.

“No, it’s the pitch after this one,” you replied, negating him without tearing your focus away from the screen.

“I thought it was on the 0-1 pitch?”

“Nope. It’s the 1-1. Just watch.”

“But I--” Shawn started, but was cut off when the second pitch of the at-bat came in as a ball.

“Told you,” you bragged triumphantly. “It’s this pitch.”

Shawn sat up with you, both of you waiting intently. As soon as Bautista sent the ball flying into left field and flipped his bat, you yelled like it was your first time seeing the hit. The cameras were shaking from how loud it was in the Rogers Centre, all the tension the fans had been feeling released with one crack of the bat. Your cheering turned into a jittery, excited laughter you couldn’t control as Bautista rounded third, and Shawn quickly joined in.

“‘You can only play with fire for so long, and it’s gonna burn ya,’” you giggled, quoting the announcer. You’d seen the play so many times you had the commentary memorized by now. “I fucking love baseball.”

“Maybe I should flip my bat like that the next time I hit a home run.”

“You couldn’t pull it off,” you retorted.

Shawn sighed. “Yeah, I know. Bautista is way cooler than me.”

You laughed, crawling back on top of him. “Plus it was the playoffs, which makes it even better. Easily the most iconic bat flip of all time.”

“Easily,” he echoed, beginning to calm down from the hype of the hit. “I miss it so much.”

You sighed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly. “I know. But this is the best we can do right now.”

“Thank you for doing this, honey,” he said softly. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” you sassed. He swatted at you playfully. “There are plenty of classic games on the MLB YouTube channel so we can watch more whenever you want. You know I’m down for that.”

“I know you are,” he replied. “Because my girlfriend loves baseball more than the average baseball player.”

You laughed. “That’s not true, but I’ll take it.”

“Mmm, I think it’s pretty true.”

“Whatever you say, rookie,” you breathed out, burying your head in the crook of his neck. He instinctively wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “Now let me finish watching this game.”

Thank you for reading!! Feedback makes me very happy.

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atlafan · 5 years ago

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Take it Slow - Part Twenty-Seven

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

Rachel left around 10 the next morning so you could get ready for the day. You were so happy to have alone time with her. You both didn’t get as much one on one time together as you’d like. You decide on wearing your hair up in your classic high pony, especially since your nephew was starting to get grabby. You put on a pair of skinny jeans and a black sweater. You put a pair of booties on, and wait for Harry.

He keys into your apartment around 12:15. He was getting better about being early for things.

“Love?” You hear him and come out of your room. “Hey cutie.”

“Someone’s in a better mood.” You practically jump into his arms, kissing him on the lips.

“Yeah, sorry again for being a meanie.”

“S’okay, we all have our moments. Ready to go?”

“Yup.”

Harry lets you pick the music for the ride.

“Alright, so please, tell me all your good news.”

“Okay, so yesterday afternoon my supervisor called me into her office, and at first I was scared. But she called me in to tell me that because of the work I did on that project last week, our contract has been extended, thus gaining more business. Apparently a lot of good word has gotten back to the CEO about me. Get this. Not only do they want to pay for grad school, like the whole thing, not just half, BUT they want to give me a raise. Like a significant one with a new title and everything! They want to make me an associate director!”

“Are you kidding me?! That’s incredible baby!” His hand squeezes your thigh. He felt terrible for blowing up at you last night. You could’ve celebrated. “We have to celebrate tonight!”

“I’m so excited! And they said I could pretty much pick whatever program I want as long as it’s online. Don’t say anything to Niall though. They’re planning on bumping him up to, but they plan to talk about it Monday. There’s all this restructuring happening. I’ve only been there two years, I can’t believe it.”

“I’m so happy for you, it’s great they’re recognizing your work! And I know how much you already love it there, this is like icing on the cake.”

“I know! She said they didn’t want to risk losing me.”

“That’s amazing, this is so great.” Harry was beaming. He was so proud of you. “What school do you think you’ll apply to?”

“I’m not sure yet. I need to look over the information my supervisor sent me, and then do some research. I need to figure out what I want to become a master.” He chuckles.

“I’m so proud of you, really.”

“Thanks babe.” You put your hand on top of the one he has on your thigh, and you stay like that for the rest of your drive.

Harry brought a ton of equipment with him. It was too cold to take photos outside, so he brought this giant white sheet to hang up in your brother’s living room. It went all over the floor as well, creating a nice background. You were holding your nephew while he was setting some of the lights up.

“Thanks again for coming out to do this.” Your sister in law smiles while clearing some toys out of the way.

“Oh, it’s my pleasure. These are my favorite kinds of photoshoots.” Harry smiles back. He looks over at you lovingly while you rock the baby and talk with your brother. “I brought some props with me, was there anything in particular you were hoping to do?”

“Well, as you can see, we’re all wearing the same sweater. I think we’re trying to go with a season’s greetings vibe? Almost like a winter wonderland? I’m not Jewish, so we didn’t want it to be too overbearing with the religious stuff.”

“Right, yeah we can definitely do that. I can show you some samples too of some after effects. I can edit in some snowflakes, or even a snowman behind ya.”

“Did you hear that honey?” She says to your brother who is laughing with you about something.

“Hm? Yeah, that sounds good.”

“So, we’d like some of the three of us, obviously, some of just him and I, some of just him and daddy, and then some of daddy and I.”

“Alright.”

Harry sets up two different cameras, one on a tripod, and the other around his neck. He connects his laptop to it so the pictures will go right in. You didn’t realize his freelance operation was quite so high-tech. Harry unfolds a collapsible bench, and sticks it on the sheet.

“Okay, so if dad wants to sit on the bench, and them mum can sit right in front.” He comes over to you, gesturing to hand the baby over. “Thank you, hey little guy.” He coos to the baby. “And mum if you wanna have him in your lap…that’s perfect.”

Harry uses his handheld camera for a few test shots, and then goes over to the camera on the tripod. You go behind him to watch them pop up on the screen. He had gotten the lighting perfectly. No shadows, no one looked shiny, you were impressed. You made a funny face to your nephew to keep him happy and smiling.

“How ‘bout one where you’re all sittin’ on the floor?” Harry goes behind your brother to move the bench out of the way. “That’s great.” He snaps a few shots. He tries to get a few candid ones in.

“Do you have a chair or basket you wanted to put him in for his solo shots?”

“Yeah! Let me go grab it.” Your sister in law pulls over a little chair to rest the baby in.

Harry gets in close to get some different angles. Your nephew is mesmerized by the camera, so the pictures come out really good. You loved seeing Harry do his job.

“Mum and the baby next?”

Your sister in law picks the baby up, and gently rocks him. Harry gets a few shots from the still camera, and then goes over to the two of them.

“Let’s get his face on your shoulder, and then have you looking down at him. Mind if I touch ya hair, love?” You and your brother give Harry a funny look.

“Um, not at all.” He moves a few strands of hair from her face.

“Perfect.” Harry moves behind her to get the shot. “Just tilt your head up a wee bit, there ya go.” Another shot. “Dad, can we get ya on the other side of them?” Your brother move where he tells him. “That’s amazing, thank you.”

Harry takes a few more shots of just your sister in law and the baby. Then moves on to your brother and the baby. He got a really good one of him lifting him over his head.

“He’s bein’ so good, haven’t heard a peep yet.” Harry says.

“We fed him right before you guys got here. He snaps the minute he’s hungry.” Your brother explains. “You wanna hold him while we take our pictures?” He asks you.

“Of course!” You take your nephew. “Where’s his bubby in case he gets hungry?”

“In the kitchen, right side of the fridge.” You walk into the kitchen to grab the small bottle, and a rag to throw over your shoulder, just in case.

On cue, your nephew starts crying, but stops the second the nipple of the bottle hits his mouth. You soothe and feed him, sitting down in the rocking chair near the set up. Harry looks over at you, distracted by how gentle and sweet you are. Your brother coughs, grabbing his attention.

“Right.” He walks over to the two of them. “You’re a little stiff, just relax a little. Let’s put this arm here.” He takes your brother’s arm and puts it on the small of his wife’s back. “And you can you put your hand on his chest?” He furrows his brows looking over how they’re standing. “Can you put your other hand in your pocket? Ah! There we go.”

Harry goes over to the tripod, he flashes you a quick smile as you continue to feed the baby. He takes a few photos. You finish feeding your nephew, and sit him up to burp him. Once he does burp everyone starts laughing, and Harry is able to get a great candid shot of the two.

You hand the baby off to his mom so you can help Harry pack up his gear, and get everything into the car. When you both come back in, you see your sister in law has put out some snacks for everyone.

“Mind if I hold him?” Harry politely asks. She passes the baby off to him.

“Mm, this hummus is so good.” You say.

“It’s that fire roasted pepper one.” Your brother says sticking a carrot in. He takes his checkbook out of his pocket. “Harry, wanna talk shop in the kitchen?”

“Sure.” He follows your brother into the kitchen. Your sister in law leans close to you as you both sit on the couch.

“He’s such a doll.”

“I know. And so talented.”

“Incredibly professional. I see why you like him so much, if I heard a man call me love like that in that accent, I wouldn’t have let him go either.” You both giggle. “I’m so glad he was able to squeeze us in, he must be so busy this time of year.”

“You have no idea.” The boys comes back and sit in the area with you. Harry sits right next you, baby still in his arms.

You tell your brother all about your big work news, and how excited you are.

“But don’t tell mom or dad, I wanna tell them myself.”

“Sure thing, so Harry, are you gonna come to our uncle’s Hanukkah party next Saturday?”

“Plannin’ on it yeah.” You and your brother share a look, trying not to giggle.

“It’s a really fun party.” Your sister in law says. “I remember the first time I went.” She giggles. “It’s a great way to be initiated into the family.”

“What are you doing on Christmas this year? Another vacation with your girlfriends?” Your brother asks. You feel shy all of a sudden, and put your hand on Harry’s leg.

“Um…no. I’m actually going to England for a week or so with Harry, to meet his family.” Your brother and his wife look at each other then back to you.

“Does mom know?”

“Yes.”

“Does dad know?”

“No.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Don’t tell him either.”

“He has to know.”

“I’m not saying I won’t tell him, I just don’t need you spilling the beans, and then him calling me freaking out.”

“Why would your dad freak out?” Harry asks, adjusting the baby’s head to rest on his shoulder.

“He just…overthinks every little thing.” You explain. “You think he takes news well, then two days later he has a million different questions.”

“How long are you gone for?” You sister in law asks, trying to break some of the tension.

“The 23rd through the 29th, so literally a week. I’m really excited, I’ve never been to England before. Harry said we’re going to spend a couple days in London too. I’ll get to do all of the touristy stuff.”

“I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun.” Your brother says. “What will you do for New Year’s?”

“Niall’s having a party.” You look up at Harry. The baby has fully passed out on him. “Oh look at him!” You rub the baby’s back. “You two just had to have the cutest baby in the world, didn’t you?”

“Mind if I take him back? I don’t want him freaking out when he wakes up.” Your sister in law giggles.

“Sure, thanks for the snuggle little guy.” Harry coos to the baby before passing him back over. “Well, I suppose we should get goin’, (y/n) and I are gonna celebrate her big news.” He stands up.

They walk you both to the door. Harry and your brother shake hands.

“Thanks again for everything.”

“No problem, and like I said I should have these for you in the next couple of days, you’ll be able to download all of the images and have them printed wherever.”

“So, where do you feel like going tonight? Anywhere you want.” Harry smiles at you in the car.

“Gosh, I don’t know! It would be fun to go somewhere that has dancing. I’m just so jazzed up.”

“That baby is the cutest baby I think I’ve ever seen.”

“Right? Can I ask how much you charged my brother? I hope he didn’t try to stiff you.”

“No, no, he didn’t. In fact, he wanted to overpay me. It all worked out, don’t worry. How come he got so weird about us going to England?”

“I think it’s just cause I’m leaving the country with you. My dad also has a way of putting him in the middle of things.”

“Do you want me there when you tell your dad?”

“God no, I’m gonna tell him over the phone so I can hang up if I need to. I’ll call him next week or something, I’m not really worried about it right now.”

Harry brings you both back to your apartment. You rummage through your clothes to find something to wear.

“We could go to that club a few blocks from here. You know the one that has food til a certain hour, and then the dance floor opens up?”

“Oh yeah! That would be perfect. I haven’t been there in a long time, probably since the summer.” You furrow your brows at the pile of laundry on your bed. “I cannot decide on an outfit! It’s gonna be cold tonight, so I know I should wear pants.” You scratch your head and dig for a pair of dark blue jeans that have a few intentional holes in them. “Hmm, what to wear with these though…oh!” You snatch your black crop top from the top of the pile. It was cute, tank top style, a little low cut, but it had a nice fringe on the bottom for some texture.

“A crop top?”

“Yeah, these pants are pretty high waisted, it looks good together.” You take your clothes off to change. “You know what, I need to find the right bra for this.” You walk over to your dresser and search for one that goes with the shirt. “I bought one to specifically wear with this top.”

Harry goes into your closet to put on a fresh t-shirt and sits on your bed to wait.

“Aha! Found it.” You put the bra and put the top on, and stand in front of him. “See? You can just barely see my piercing.” You point to your belly button. You go into the bathroom to throw a few curls in your hair and run your fingers through so it looks wavy. You put some night time makeup on and feel ready. “All set?”

“Yup.” He wraps his arms around you and gives you a kiss on the top of your head. “Uber’s here, let’s go.”

The bar area of the club was a little crowded when you got there, but because there only two of you (and maybe because you pushed your boobs up when you spoke with the host), you were able to get a small table after only five minutes. Since you were celebrating, you both ordered a big plate of nachos to split, and some tequila shots.

“I’m so glad you like doing tequila too. A lot of people don’t.” Harry says as you two clink the small glasses before tossing them back.

“I know! I don’t get it. I’ve never had a problem with tequila, ever.” You both decide it’s a good idea to stick with the same liquor, so you both order margaritas. “Margaritas and nachos, what could be a better combination of food?” You giggle, diving into the cheesy chips. “So, you’ll actually dance with me tonight?”

“Yes, I will.” He rolls his eyes playfully. “Maybe after a couple more drinks though.”

Harry loved watching you dance. You always had so much fun, and it made him have fun too. He loved hearing you say, “I love this song!”, to just about every song that would come on, and the way you’d yank him closer to you to dance. And you. You loved the way Harry would let loose in times like these, not caring if anyone was looking. The way he would move his hips along with yours, or when he’d stop to twirl you around, the quick kisses you’d share.

You both had a great night. Harry ordered an uber when you both agreed your feet were too tired and you both were just too drunk to keep dancing.

“That was so much fun!” You exclaim twirling around into your apartment. “Thanks again.” You wrap your arms around his neck, deadweighting him.

“Jesus.” He laughs, almost falling to the floor with you. “Alright, time for some water, yeah?” He lifts you up, and sits you down on the kitchen counter. He fills two glasses of water and hands you one. You both take small, slow sips. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

“I always do when I’m with ya.” You slur. He stands between your legs.

“Ready for bed?” You pout. “What?”

“Dontcha wanna love on me?” You run your hands through his hair. He rests his hands on your thighs.

“I do…but maybe in the mornin’, love.”

“Why?” You pout again, really jutting your bottom lip out.

“We’re both a little too drunk.”

“Not you, just I am.” He gives you a half smile.

“You’ll be mad at me if we do anythin’.”

“No I won’t.”

“(y/n).”

You lean down and kiss him, pulling him closer to you. His fingers press into your thighs. Your stomach starts to feel weird, so you let go of him.

“Oh no.” You say and hop off the counter.

“What? What oh no?” He looks at you very concerned.

“I think…I had too much dairy tonight, I don’t feel very well.” You put a hand over your mouth and run down to the bathroom attached to your room.

Harry quickly follows after you, and hears you throw up. He sighs, and goes to get a rag to run under some water, and a hair elastic. After he hears you flush the toilet, he comes in.

“No! Don’t come in, I don’t want you to see me like this!” You turn your face away. You feel him take your hair and put it into the elastic.

“Not the first time I’ve seen someone spew.” He crouches down next to you and presses the rag to your forehead. “Are you lactose intolerant? I didn’t think people threw up from that?”

“I’m sensitive to dairy, so I think because those nachos had so much cheese, plus the combi, the combi, oh no.” Harry stands up and uses his hand to brush back any hair he may have missed in your ponytail. He rubs your back while you vomit again. He pats the damp rag across your forehead again. “I’m so sorry.” You say, flushing the toilet and wiping your mouth.

“It’s alright, love. Happens to the best of us.”

“I think I’m through.” He helps you stand up, and you look at yourself in the mirror. “Yikes.” Your makeup had run down your face from tears. You run the water in the sink and brush your teeth. You turn the hot water on and grab your makeup remover rag. Harry watches you as he stands in the doorway.

“Don’t think I’ve seen someone only yak twice from drinkin’.”

“I told you.” You dry off your face with a hand towel. “It was from the dairy, the cheese.” You make a disgusted face. “Not eating that for a long time.” You look at him and sigh. “That was disgusting, I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” You take your hair out of Harry’s makeshift ponytail, and shake it out.

“S’alright, vomit doesn’t really bother me.” He shrugs, and follows you to your bed. He takes his shirt off, then his pants, and you do the same. He kisses you on your temple before going into the bathroom to do his thing.

You got cozied up in his t-shirt, and got into your side of the bed. He comes out and joins you.

“Sure you’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna dry heave or anything.”

“Guess that was one way to sober up. C’mere.” You rest your head on his chest, and he puts an arm around you.

The next morning you both wake up around ten. For once, you wake up almost completely on top of Harry. You must have fallen asleep on his chest and never rolled over. You rub your eyes as you start to wake up, and see that he’s sitting up, reading from his book.

“Mornin’.” He says looking down at you with a smile.

“Shower?” He nods yes, and you both get up.

You both brush your teeth before going in. You felt gross from last night still. You peel his t-shirt off and put your hair up. You both step in to the warm water, and stand in it together, arms wrapped around each other. You felt groggier than usual, and could feel slight cramps forming in your lower back. You groan into him.

“Whatsa matter, love?” He says, chin resting on your head.

“Getting my period this week.” You knew that already due to your birth control tabs, but it was still annoying nonetheless. “I’ve got the precramps.”

“Better to get it now than while we’re away though right? Less things you’ll have to pack.”

“That’s true. I hate getting it when I’m traveling.” You nestle into his chest more.

Harry takes your chin between his fingers and tilts your head up to look at him. He leans in and gives you a soft kiss on the lips. You nuzzle your noses together, making you smile. You wrap your arms around his neck, and go up on your tiptoes so you can kiss him properly. His hands moving down to squeeze your butt. You feel him harden against you, and you press yourself more on him. You tongue enters his mouth to find his, and you’re happy when you’re greeted with his.

You push him back against the cold tile, taking him by surprise a bit. Harry’s mind can’t help but race. If you would let him, he’d pick you up and put you against the wall. He would drive into you with his hard cock and have you screaming his name. But no…he couldn’t have that yet, and it was driving him nuts. He was genuinely curious, though, about exactly what you planned to do with him right now.

You lace your fingers through his hair, and gently tug. Your mouth moves to his neck and you bite down on him. He groans, tilting his head back. You push your body as close as you possibly can to him, as you suck on his skin harder. What is she trying to do to me? He asks himself. You reach down between the two of you, and wrap your hand around his throbbing cock. He sucks in a breath as you work your thumb over his leaking tip. You lean your forehead against his chest as you look down. You take a deep breath as you rub him against you.

“Woah!” He flinches. “What’s, um, what’s happening right now?”

“I just…” You look up at him. “I just wanna rub the tip against my clit. Can I do that? Please?” He blinks at you. “And then I’ll suck you off, okay? I’m not trying to tease, I just wanna feel you against me.”

“O, okay.”

You look back down, and move his tip to rub against your clit. The contact felt amazing to you both. His slick tip rubbing against your clit had your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Fuck.” He groans, eyes closed and teeth clenched. His hands move to your breasts, and knead them, needing something to hold onto.

You move one of your legs up around one his legs so you can get a better angle. Harry pries his eyes open to watch your hand around him.

“I’m, I’m not gonna last much longer.” He says, panting.

You drop to your knees and take him into your mouth. His hands rest gently on your shoulders, not wanting to pull your hair in fear of triggering you again. His hips thrust forward, hitting the back of your throat. You need to use one hand to pump him, not able to take all of him into your mouth. Your other hand was on his hip, fingers pressing harshly into him.

“God, you take it so well.” He says through a moan. You groan against him, and the vibration makes his hips roll further. His nails are digging into your shoulders as you bob faster on him. “Fuck, (y/n), I’m gonna come!” His hot come splurts into your mouth, and you swallow every last drop.

You stand up, and rinse your mouth out in the shower water. Harry quickly pulls you over to him, pushing you against the tiles this time. He kneels in front of you, and connects his mouth to your clit. Your hands go right to his hair. He holds on your thighs up so he can get his tongue inside you easier. You almost lose your balance.

“Ah! Harry!” You moan. “Please, please just take me to the bed!”

He stands up, both of your pupils are blown out. He quickly turns the water off, kneels back down, and lifts you up over his shoulder. Neither of you care that you’re soaking wet, you’ll just throw the blankets in the dryer later.

Harry puts you down on the bed, and gets on top of you. He kisses you firmly, you stick your tongue in his mouth and he sucks on it. You moan loudly as his thumb presses down on your clit.

“You really want it, don’t you?” He asks, biting down on your collar bone.

“Fuck! Yes, I do. So bad. Please, let me feel your fingers.” Harry’s jaw clenches, he should have known that’s what you meant. But his small glimmer of hope told him you wanted more than that.

He bites down on you harder, sucking on your skin, leaving a nice purple bruise in its place. He had to do this. He had to get his frustration out somehow. And you were letting him. His fingers plunge inside you, making your hips buck up towards him.

“I love how wet and tight you are, it feels amazing.” He says into your ear, taking the skin just underneath between his teeth. Your nails sink into his shoulders. They rake down his back as he pumps in and out faster.

Your hands grip onto his butt, and your nails sink into his cheeks as you move your hips to grind against his hand. He bit down on your neck harder, he was hard again, there was no doubt about that. He grinds himself against one of your hips.

“Harry, fuck!” He hit that spot that you love so much. He didn’t even need to rub your clit to make you come, this felt good enough. “Harry!” You’re screaming his name. You weren’t sure what made you feel so hot today, maybe it was the hormones, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care if your neighbors heard you screaming either.

You release all over his fingers, he removes himself from your quickly, and grips himself. He jacks off onto your stomach. Your mouth falls even further open at the sight. He collapses next to you as you both catch your breaths.

“Holy shit.” You say, closing your eyes.

“Sorry, I, it was just…I had to come again.” He says looking down at your stomach.

“It’s okay.” You smile at him. “I can’t always be the one to come more than once.”

“Let me go get a rag to wipe you up with.”

“No, it’s okay.” He raises an eyebrow at you and you giggle. “I’m gonna go hop back in the shower quick. Could you throw these blankets in the dryer while I’m in there.”

“Mhm.” You kiss him quick.

“Thanks.”

You get up and go into the bathroom. You gasp when you see yourself in the mirror. You put your hand over your mouth so he doesn’t hear, and you close the door. You inspect the many large, purple bruises on your neck and collar bone. These were going to be hard to cover, and they were going to take a long time to heal. You rinse off quick, and wrap yourself in a towel. Harry is in the kitchen making smoothies.

“Love, I made breakfast.” He smiles handing you a glass.

“Thank you.” You take a sip. “Mm, yum!” You take another big sip and put your glass down. “Um, babe?”

“Yeah?” He looked so good, just standing there in his tight black boxers. You rub your hand over your neck. “Jesus.” He pulls your hand away. “Shit, I did a number on you huh?”

“Yeah, in a couple different spots.” You had two prominent love bites on your neck, and two more on your collar bone. He rubs his thumb softly over them.

“Did it hurt?”

“Um…yes, but…not in a bad way.” You blush. You look up at his neck. “I gave you a pretty good one too.”

“Mhm.” He smiles.

“You don’t mind?”

“Nah, they heal pretty quickly. They’re not that noticeable on my skin. But you’re a little fairer than I am.”

“They’re just hard to cover with makeup. I’ll need to wear a scarf or something. Um…I like getting them, I like the way they feel. Just…when you feel the need to bite me that hard, could you find a more discrete spot?” Harry cocks his head and looks at you. He takes a sip of his smoothie.

“But if I did that, how would everyone around you know you had a boyfriend?” He walks by you, leaving you stunned, and sits down on your couch. You sit down next to him, sipping on your breakfast. “I mean, that’s how everyone knows I’m seein’ someone.”

“It’s just not very…professional. People will notice, and talk. Otherwise I wouldn’t care where you did it.”

“But I like it best on your neck. It’s my favorite place to bite into. You’d deprive me of that?” You were sweating. If he kept talking to you like that, you weren’t sure how much longer you’d last before your lips were wrapped around him again.

“N, no. You can do it without leaving such a large mark can’t you? I mean, what if my family saw?”

“Alright, ya got me there.” He fake pouts. “Guess I can try to be more careful.” He sighs. “Anythin’ ya need to do today?” You mean other than you? You thought to yourself.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t mind going to Walmart, I’m low on some stuff. But you don’t need to come with if that doesn’t sound like fun.” You laugh.

“Nah, I need some stuff too, now that I think about it.”

“Great, I’ll drive us.” He frowns. “Am I a bad driver or something?”

“What? No! I just prefer driving.”

“Why?” He just shrugs at you. “Well, I would like to drive if that’s okay.”

“Alright.” You get up, and he watches you walk into your room. Something about your ass shaking in a towel made him smile. He gets up to follow you.

The second you dropped your towel, Harry’s arms were wrapped around you, pressing your back to his chest. You giggle as he presses kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“Harry…”

“What?” He whispers in your ear.

“We’ll have all day to do this, but we need to go to the store now, okay?” He rolls his eyes and lets go of you.

“All day, huh?” That shit eating grin covers his face, and this time you roll your eyes.

“You’re ridiculous.”

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #take it slow #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #fluff #smut #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut fic #i wrote this last week so please don't talk to me about harry drunk dancing #it's unintentionally topical #love when theyre cute with each other

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caffeinated-chaos-bean · 4 years ago

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Mid-2021 Blog Update

Hey guys.

So... It’s been a while. Quite a while... and I want to lay some things out as to why I’ve been gone and the blog has practically been dead in the water for half a year, if not for a whole year.

I want you to know that what I’m going to say will be in heavy detail. I’m comfortable speaking on it, and what information doesn’t just include me will be using either public details that I know I can share or will be put in a short and sweet manner.

This is your trigger warning: If you need to click off or scroll past due to the mention of extremely bad mental health, toxic relationships and households, the mention of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, please do so now.

. . .

First off, I’ve lessened the amount of time I’ve been online due to my mental health. I was put on antidepressants as well as told to take anti-anxiety gummies in November and will be weaned off of those starting this October. A lot of my family and relationship drama on top of the world practically shutting down and going into chaos thanks to COVID-19 just took a major toll on me. With so much on my shoulders, stress from living with said things on my shoulders, unsupportive family members, and an emotionally distant partner, I was at one of the lowest points in the life. I’d never had to be on mood-related medication in my life until last November. I’d always been able to handle what was thrown at me, but mid- to late-2020 was what knocked me down that low for the first time in my life. Suicidal thoughts came and went (they weren’t often, only when I couldn’t bottle my emotions up any longer but didn’t have a way to express them either), but even when they did, I knew that it was just in my head. I never once chose to act on them, because to me, that is not a way to solve a problem or escape your inner demons. All it does it put your personal suffering onto those around you -- your friends, family, and those who cared about you even when you don’t see it -- and it doesn’t do anyone any good. When my doctor asked me about suicide, that’s the very explanation I gave her. Yes, they happened, but I’d never act on them; it’s not a way out and it puts your pain onto others and only worsens the situation for the long-term.

Aside from that, though... I move on to other personal reasons for my absence that helped trigger what was mentioned above. Mid-August of 2019, my then fiancé's mother was murdered by two 17yr old boys of whom she and their family knew. Going off the information that was made public, one boy had mixed meth with marijuana prior to the killing. He claimed that my fiancé’s mother mouthed off and made a derogatory comment about his deceased mother, thus sparking the incident. While he claims to have only stabbed her once, the autopsy report shows that her head/face and upper torso were “hacked, slashed, and chopped” repeatedly with “various sharp, bladed objects”. Not only did they murder her, the two individuals also set the grass around her body on fire along with her home. When we found out about this having happened, I had no idea how bad it would have turned my relationship upside-down. My now ex-fiancé didn’t come from a great childhood, there was abuse and CPS, among other things. But he had managed and was a good person. He could make me laugh and tear up at his jokes, sang beautifully, and did everything to make those around him happy. When he lost his mom, it broke him. It shattered his very being, because not only did he know the two who caused it to happen, he also was unable to reconcile and make amends with his mother for what he went through as a child. He was robbed of being able to forgive and be on good terms with her, and it broke him. He stopped communicating with family, he took bereavement after being pulled from work by family the day it was confirmed to be his mother only to to fired 3 months down the line when he tried to go back (fuck Walmart for that btw), and was slowly becoming a hypochondriac. He stopped talking to me, he would cry in his sleep, and grief made him lash out as was expected. But as the days dragged on, his motivation and care towards finding a new job dwindled. He and my mother would fight endlessly and I was caught in the middle of it, as we all were in one household. There were times in which I would keep my phone on my leg and record for my own personal documentation should I need it due to how bad my own mother would belittle me, belittle my ex behind his back, and just scream and go off. When I’d turn to my ex for comfort, he wasn’t much help due to his own deteriorating mental health. He took to discord, specifically the Vampire the Masquerade community, as his escape from reality. He eventually would hardly talk to me at all, show no compassion, and at times I tried to speak with him about getting a new job or suggesting part-time ones that I felt would be easy and as stress-free as possible for him, I would be shooed away without a word; if I tried to further my attempt to have the conversation, he eventually got an attitude and would just say “Bye!” over and over again while shooing with his hand to get me to leave. There were many days where I’d get off work and sit in the bathroom for an hour and cry because of my frustration and how I felt stuck between two people I cared about deeply (ie. my ex and my mother).

My ex has since moved out and no longer lived with us. He and I are no longer together, and he has cut off all communication to me along with his family. He isn’t living in California anymore, really. He met up with discord friends and is in another state. That’s the last I heard from him. That’s the last his family heard. He doesn’t talk to us or attempt to reach out or respond when his family reaches out. I still very much care about him and want him to get better, but if he has to do so by being away from everyone, then so be it.

While I was letting - or shutting out, rather - the emotions I was feeling once he officially moved out, I relapsed with my anxiety tick; with my trichotillomania. I have a good number of smaller, thinned out spots in my hair from unconsciously pulling out strands of hair when my emotions didn’t know how to regulate. I’m still fighting to get this under control, as I do still catch myself doing it and so does my mother. It currently is not as bad as when my ex first moved out and I had to adjust back into sleeping alone and without someone next to me, but I do still pull. I am looking into trying to get my sister to order me a HabbitAware bracelet for me this Christmas in order to help get my tick back under control. I know its something I will live with forever and go in and out of doing, as there is no cure or medication to curb trichotillomania, but its something to help me be more aware of how often I do pull and to train it to no longer be a muscle memory response.

Most recently, I’ve had to stop taking melatonin. I’ve had bouts of insomnia since my ex left, and eventually I took enough melatonin to not only build an immunity to it but also a slight dependence. I was taking more than I should have been, and I noticed the signs of it and have stopped taking melatonin altogether. Due to this, I have switched to hempseed oil gummies. I take 2 before bed and they have helped wonderfully. But, due to how easy it was for me to become dependent on melatonin, I do plan to take brief breaks from the gummies to avoid a similar situation. I also do not plan on seeking an insomnia medication due to the same reasons. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I knew i was becoming addicted, and due to this I do not wish to risk it happening with a prescription sleep medication. I will deal with my bouts of insomnia as they come.

I also am conquering my insecurities towards others knowing I am a fan of Michael Jackson; a moonwalker. In elementary school (5th grade, 2009), I went through a heavy obsessive phase when he passed. I’d never heard of him, and when I listened to his music that firs time I was instantly hooked. I was ridiculed at school after I performed “Thriller” during a talent show; I had classmates going as far as saying that I must want him to kidnap and r*pe me if I enjoyed his music so much. I didn’t understand the gravity of those comments back then the way that I do now that I’m 23, but I still knew to an extent that what they were saying was in now way a good thing. I shut out his music from mid-6th grade all the way until this year. I hadn’t listened to a single song aside from hearing “Thriller” on the radio during October. For my birthday this year, I had a friend take me out of town and get away for a day. The entire time, she surprised me by playing hours of his music when in the car with her. It has since reopened that connection to his music and I’ve been listening to his songs with a fresh take, with the mind of an adult who can comprehend his words and understand finally what he’s saying for each song. As such, I’ve become more comfortable with others knowing I’m a moonwalker. You can have your opininos of the man, you can choose to believe the tabloids and junk media or make your own conclusions after assessing the details and documents of his life, but I will enjoy the same freedom of opinion.

I know this is getting pretty long, but I wanted to fill those who still might be checking up on this blog for any sort of update or spec of life coming from it in on what’s practically killed the blogs for a good chunk of time.

I do plan to slowly start doing stuff again after Halloween. I have a video made that I plan to post for Halloween and I look forward to letting Kikumi and the others be open for asks again. Until then, may the wind guide you all. I hope everyone can have a safe and wonderful rest of August. I will see you in October.

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bloodys44 · 4 years ago

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Silence and Cigarette Smoke

Original story and bonus content found here! ↓↓↓↓

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13289933/3/Silence-and-Cigarette-Smoke

Unfortunately it seems FF.net is having some technical errors and new chapter updates are only viewable through the app. I will continue to repost in hopes it will be available for everyone soon! Chapter 7 is viewable through the app and everything up to chapter 6 is online. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3: The Dragons Birthday

Lucy’s POV

788

She always thought he looked the best while asleep. Mind caught up in a dream, unfocused to the world around him. The way his bare chest shuddered on every exhale. The stark white of the scars littered over his tan skin. There was never a time he looked more relaxed, his sharp facial features losing their regular heated mark. He was in every aspect, simply beautiful. Once her blurry vision had focused on him, she'd been utterly captivated. And now, with him laying so nonchalant atop her blue pleated comforter she took the time to soak him in. It was rare for a moment of peace to present itself in their chaotic lives. Sometimes she felt stuck in a constant state of running. And tiring as it was, she had never felt such happiness. It was almost funny, she thought. How she had been humored by Lissana's words the day she had met her. All her preaching about how she owed this man her entire life. And to think now, she felt almost the same. She really did owe him the world, for he was the one to actually give her one.Three years had passed since Natsu had rescued her from the forest and brought her to Fairy Tail. Taken her hand and led her step by step through his exciting life. Teaching her the unspoken rules of the enchanted world. The guild really was a dream, giving her a place to live and grow in exchange for work. Everybody had a simple job they worked while at home. Natsu for instance, worked the front guard line, scouting the edge of their safety enchantments for trespassers and unwanted visitors. When he wasn't out scouting, he stood watch in one of the three stone lookout towers. It made sense, given he had uncanny senses and tracking abilities. Lucy found herself taking shifts in the constantly busy infirmary alongside Lissana and her sister Mirajane. It was pleasant work, a good distraction from day to day life. But it was when they left the guild that the real adventure began. Fairy Tail (along with other guilds in the network) took job and quest submissions from trusted or other magic folks. They ranged from simple things such as retrieval of objects or escorting people during their travels, all the way to clearing out dark guilds and the slaying of demons. Natsu had been gracious enough to form a team with her, working alongside her to complete jobs. They truly had become an inseparable force over the last few years.Lucy set the plate she had been carrying on the side table by her bed before moving to lean against the end of her mattress. Natsu twitched slightly in his sleep but didn't wake, instead rubbing the underside of his nose against the back of his wrist. She snickered lightly, brushing golden locks from her view. She still found it hard to believe the man in front of her, sleeping so silent, was actually an unmatched powerhouse of magical energy. A dragon slayer, so he was called. An extremely rare form of magic, bestowed by the dragons themselves to aid the humans in their war against the 'white witch' hundreds of years prior. The rarity stemmed from the fact that these commanding creatures no longer existed, wiped out by the very magic they had gifted the humans. Thus earning the 'slayer' term. In the current day, dragon-slaying magic was passed down through bloodlines, slowly dwindling downwards to nothing. Natsu claimed he remembered nothing of his parents, choosing to never speak about them or anything else regarding his past. This sat just fine with Lucy, considering her home life wasn't much more uplifting. An abusive father, drunk with power. So consumed in his self-preservation he elected to wipe out a quarter of the population in fear of them uprising. Jealous of the power swimming through their veins. Even going as far as to execute his beloved Queen and daughter for their enchanted blood.Her mother had always whispered of the beauty that came with their magic. The glow of the gods she called it. And translated directly, it sort of was. Celestial magic rumoured to have been created directly by the gods for a historical gracious Queen. The only enchantment to possess such a warm golden hue, literal stardust drifting from fingertips. Natsu had gone out of his way train with her while she learned her capabilities. Even (much to his distaste) spending hours upon hours scanning over ancient books and text, looking for answers to explain her mysterious powers. There was extremely little known about celestial magic. Its rather small royal bloodline being the only people able to wield the starlight. After three years of constant work, Lucy believed she was rather proficient in its use, though she could never be completely sure. As special as it was, being enchanted with such abilities it was also rather frightening, to say the least. With rarity came obsession. Many stories existing of the pursuit of celestial mages, desire for their uncapped power. The story goes that besides their own magical abilities, celestial mages can greatly increase magical energy with a single drop of their blood. Their blood is said to taste like pure ecstasy. Mages go insane after a single drop, drunk on the taste. Natsu had told her. The thought always made her stomach turn.Lucy huffed, shaking her head to dismiss her thoughts. Today was supposed to be a happy day, she couldn't let her self get caught up over nothing. Sliding the light grey flats off her stocking covered feet, she pulled herself completely up on the mattress. It was a pleasant Tuesday morning, the sun soaking through the aged glass of the windowpane. Her room taking on a rosy hue as the light bent with the lace of her pink curtains. Her room was small (as were most of the dorms in Fairy Tail were) but she loved it just the same. Her bed was pressed against the far right corner, mirroring a birch desk placed at the conjunction of the other. It, currently serving as the sleeping place for a bizarre blue cat, napping happily, wound up in scaled white fabric. She had a small overstuffed closet at the foot of her bed and an ensuite adjacent to the grand door leading to the hallway of other rooms. It was her safe place, a real home to relax and be herself in. The old walls speaking for previous guild members long passed. The only thing was, that she more often than not had to share with an intruding pyromaniac. Whether that was a negative or bonus she never could decide. She crawled towards the unsuspecting male, strung out over the bedding in his sleeping state. Taking perch beside his head, she pulled her knees to her chest. Her wrist flicking outwards slightly as she moved to wake him. It almost felt criminal, pulling him from his peaceful slumber, but she was too excited, not wanting to wait any longer. She dusted her fingers over his forehead, moving the displaced pink tendrils from his closed eyes. The light touch was enough to sway him from his dreams, grimacing as he squinted one eye open."Good Morning birthday boy." Lucy smiled sweetly, running her fingers through his fringe once again before pulling back. She wrapped her arms around her folded knees, watching as the tired man before rubbed his eyes. "Bout time you joined the land of the living.""Birthday boy?" Natsu questioned, his voice raspy, rugged with sleep. "Lucy, you know I don't know when my birthday is." He shoved his elbow under himself clumsily, sliding his body to more of a sitting position against the headboard. An exaggerated yawn flashing his pointed canines."I know." The words a sweet hum over her lips. "And every year I tell you, everyone deserves a birthday, and that you should just pick a day to celebrate."Natsu was smirking now, his expression slowly coming together as he woke. "And every year I tell you it's not important, and that you're crazy.""You celebrate my birthday every year, what's the difference?" She questioned playfully."I dunno, just different cause it's you."Lucy tried to ignore the heat that was surely blooming over her pale cheeks, tossing her bangs to the side with a sway of her neck. "Stop being so modest you stupid dragon, you're just as important as anyone else and deserve a day dedicated to you just the same." Natsu rolled his eyes at her, earning a swat to his shoulder. "Since you never pick a day, I've taken the initiative of picking for you.""And today made the cut?" He joked, fingers twisting upwards to toy with a strand of her golden hair."It's the first day of summer." She rushed out with slight embarrassment. "I thought it was fitting considering your name."Natsu snorted, mumbling something along the lines of 'cute' before pushing himself upright into a complete sitting position. He glanced to the side, noticing the small plate Lucy had put down earlier. He spun his head back towards her, eyebrow raised curiously. "Did you really bake me a cake?" She had, in fact, baked him a cake. Lucy nodded sheepishly, feeling the heat in her cheeks expand down her chest. It was nothing special, a miniature loaf that resembled more of an oversized muffin than an actual cake. To be fair, it had only been her second attempt at baking. She had considered asking Mira to make one for him, but she was away on work with her younger brother Elfman and her husband Laxus. Leaving Lucy to her own devices. Her first attempt had left the guilds mess hall a smoky mess and resulted in something unedible. Her second attempt had actually tasted pretty good despite its appearance. She had iced it in fluffy yellow icing, a baby blue branding of '22' crowning the top."You think I'm twenty-two?" He questioned again, his voice more steady than his earlier playfulness. His fingers continuing to loop over her flaxen strands."Well nobody knows your actual age, so I had to make an educated guess." She huffed in response.Natsu chuckled slightly, wrapping his arm around the blonde and pulling her into his bare chest roughly. "You're probably right, as per usual." Lucy tried to scramble against him but was held firm between his rippling arms. He slid one upwards, wrapping it around her neck pulling her into him further His chin nestled in her flaxen tendrils "Thanks, Luce, you really are the best." His lips brushing just slightly over her temple as he spoke. The touch so light she wasn't sure if there was really any contact or if she was reacting to his unusually hot breath against her fair skin.She loved moments like this. When the loud-mouthed, cocky, and rather brash man spoke in gentle tones. It was such a contrast to his typical over-excited nature. It may be selfish on her part, but she loved that this side of him was private, only sneaking up when the boy felt truly comfortable. It wasn't that he was typically exhausting, in fact, he had matured greatly over the years. But she had yet to witness him speak so calmly to another, the constant rigidness in his shoulders lacking in moments like this. It made her feel special, like she really was important to somebody. Not that she could ever deserve somebody as special as him. Somebody who lived their life completely for those surrounding him."We should hurry up and head down to the hall, Lissana's been cooking breakfast for us all morning." Natsu nodded in response, sliding himself off the cotton sheets with another exaggerated yawn. He flung his arms above his head, stretching out his previously coiled limbs. Lucy watched absentmindedly as his taut muscles strained under the spance of his tan skin, moving in sync with his smooth rhythm. He slipped a black hoodie over his head, sliding it painfully slow over his ridged abdomen. Sometimes Lucy liked to believe he showed off on purpose, maybe hoping to get her flustered for his own entertainment. He side-stepped into the ensuite, rummaging around in cabinets before his head popped back out of the doorframe. He looked slightly dishevelled, toothbrush hanging from his perfectly placed teeth. Lucy couldn't help but giggle at his curious expression, already knowing what he was about to ask before he even started speaking."I think Lissana tried to make all your favorites." Natsu nodded excitedly, darting back through the frame to continue cleaning up for the day. She swore there was nothing in this world that got him more excited than food tended too.The walk to the mess hall was pleasant, small talk mixing with their echoed footsteps on stone. Fairy Tail had taken residence in a long-abandoned castle on the outskirts of the supposedly haunted forest. Encased in hills of sprawling green, plenty of room for its members to train and spend their leisure time. A safe and beautiful space hidden so casually within the modern world, at least, thanks to the protective charms cast over the vicinity. The castle and grounds were un-seeable by the normal eye, only appearing if you knew what to look for. Most common folk would have their mind altered slightly on approach, causing them to reroute their current path. But on occasion, people have still managed to slip in, mostly lost children who's pure hearts wanted only a family or somewhere safe to rest. But there had been cases of well-skilled mages slipping through. One's like their friend Erza who possessed an enchantment cancelling eye. That's where Natsu and the other's on watch and guard duty came into place, silently protecting the livelihoods of so many. Their Headmaster was always very adamant in the safety of his 'children', so he called them. Always making sure the proper steps were taken. This was something Lucy very much appreciated, almost considering the man to be her replacement father figure."Hey wait, let's step outside quick." Natsu mumbled, grasping the side of her arm and guiding her over to one of the numerous balconies. He pushed the enormous oak doors open with ease, practically leaping out to bask in the sun rays."You really are like a salamander sometimes," Lucy scoffed playfully, commenting on his community dubbed nickname. Mages were generally very secretive about their identities, even with mages of other guilds. Understandably wanting to avoid attention from the crown. But Natsu seemed to have a knack for attention, or rather, for destruction which typically caused a lot of notice from townsfolk. The population of Fiore deciding on the name 'Salamander' for their rampant arsonist. Natsu snorted, retaliating by ruffling her hair aggressively. He then spun the other way, practically flopping against the wall with an exhale. He reached behind his gold decorated ear to remove a cigarette from its resting place. Lighting the tip of his finger with a hypnotizing flame. "I really wish you would drop that awful habit." Lucy nagged, crossing her arms slowly. "You're going to cause your own early death."As per usual Natsu looked at her like she was crazy. "You do realize I breathe fire right? Smoke it practically oxygen for me."Lucy simply shook her head, not wanting to get into their usual child-like argument about the safety of smoking. "You know Mira would agree with me." She teased."I know Mira isn't my mother, so does it really matter?" He smirked, pulling a long drag and blowing the stream into the blonde's face. She swatted at the smoke angrily, muttering under her breath about her immaculate ability to deal with morons. She turned and stepped out slowly to the edge of the castle balcony, draping her arms over the stone railing. The weather was spectacular today, the sky clear and the air surrounding them was warm and comforting. The clouds silently wishing them well with their day."I was thinking," The blonde hummed, turning back to face her pink-headed partner "We could take a job request today. Birthday boy gets to pick? Maybe Happy would even want to tag along."Natsu beamed at her, exhaling a grey cloud. "Sounds like a plan Blondie."Eventually, Natsu finished hacking away at his cigarette, giving his body a final long stretch under the sun before motioning for them to return indoors. Thankfully he seemed to be the only man Lucy had ever met that never reeked of the poison smoke. (or she liked to call it) His typical earthy scent mixed with a hint of mint and cinnamon seemed to repel all foreign smells. The remaining walk to the mess hall was quiet, the two simply comfortable in the silence of the other. At least it started that way, interrupted only by Natsu's sharp inhale as he broke out in short fits of laughter. Lucy turned to him, gawking slightly at his strange behavior while she waited for him to catch his breath. They were only about a floor away from the hall, the castle being as obnoxious as it was, took a while to navigate through."A surprise party? You really pulled all the stops hey?" Natsu mused, turning his shit-eating grin to face her. She looked absolutely baffled, her pace coming to a complete stop. This only caused Natsu to laugh harder, clutching his sides with amusement. "Did you forget about my incredibly awesome superhuman senses?" He bragged playfully. "I can hear everybody down there running amuck trying to get everything together." Lucy's expression faltered slightly. Really, who could blame her for forgetting one of his hundreds of bizarre quirks. A pout started to work its way to her plump lips. Instantly Natsu cut off his laughter, moving to stand right in front of her. "Aweh come on Luce, it's not ruined yet, promise." She scoffed slightly, swatting at his arm. "I'll even pretend to be surprised, since you worked so hard n' all." Lucy only grabbed his hand, shaking her head slightly. Of course he would react that way, selflessly cheering her up at the slightest bit of disappointment. Even on his own birthday.When they arrived at the doorway, the hall echoed with its silence. Clearly, the other guild members had found an adequate hiding place. Natsu cast her his infamous smirk before pushing the doors open, and (rather skillfully she might add) gave off his best-surprised reaction to the other members jumping out, cheering his name. It didn't take much to rile up the other members, they were always ready for any sort of celebration. The mere mention of alcohol sparking the interest in most of them. Besides that, there seemed to be a collective amount of appreciation for Natsu among them. Either a family-style bond or respect collected over the years. Even in some cases, complete loving adoration. The latter of which currently on display as Lissana latched herself onto the man, wrapping him into a soft embrace."Happy birthday Natsu-san." She cooed into his ear, gripping the man tighter. Natsu returned the compassion with ease, thanking her for all her work in the kitchen this morning. They looked fitting together, at least in Lucy's opinion. Although, that didn't mean she was very fond of watching them. In fact, she found it rather stomach-turning. Watching as Lissana openly strung herself all over him to no avail. It wasn't that she hated Lissana either, the girl being exceptionally kind-hearted and sweet. A genuine soul. Not to mention she was one of the prettiest women Lucy had ever seen, possibly rivaled only by that of her older sister. She wasn't sure exactly what it was, the feeling in her gut when she watched them together. The glorious smile that Natsu always wore around her gave nothing but an uneasy feeling. This, of course, had nothing to do with the maddening crush she had on the man. No, it most certainly didn't."You're staring." A whisper fell over her shoulder, startling her. She tossed her head quickly, scanning her peripheral for the intruder. Levy McGarden. An extremely petite and slender woman. Her eyes playful while she teased. The blue strands of her hair tied back by a golden ribbon strapped across the top of her skull in its usual fashion. It just so happened that this literature-loving book worm was Lucy's best friend (besides Natsu, of course). "If it bothers you so much, why don't you just tell him?"The blonde stared at her friend with wide eyes, progressively more startled than before. "It's not like that! We're just friends!" She defended breathlessly. "How many times do I need to repeat myself? You and Mira are going to give me a stroke." She slumped over the counter of the bar she was currently seated at with a huff.Levy lifted her brow in a mocking manner, chuckling before taking a seat at the bar beside Lucy. "Whatever you say Lu." She teased further before letting her expression fall back to normal. "This party really is nice though, you outdid yourself this time for sure." Lucy nodded slowly, spinning on her stool to take in the atmosphere. The morning was still fairly young for a typical party in her opinion, but she had really wanted to spend the evening working on a job request with the birthday boy. After some convincing, she had managed to get the rest of the members to agree with the morning time frame. The hall was decorated in a beach style theme (this being the only way to incorporate burning tiki torches, a strange favorite of the pink-haired male). Strings of flowers spiraled the stone columns in a variety of color. All the members seemed to match, flower wreaths hung around their throats in the same manner. The overly grand hall taking on a more cozy interior. Even the enormous stained windows had banners plastered to their panes. Celebration wishes printed on the fabric. Everybody had woken up super early to pitch in, getting everything set up without a hitch. Smiles and laughter mixed together creating a pleasant feeling. Kinship and happiness coated over the walls. Even Gray, the ever stoic had cracked a smile. Bickering with Natsu while holding on to his prized possession Juvia. Though he had yet to admit it, his feelings for the blue-haired, eclectic water woman were growing to become glaringly obvious."It really is nice." Lucy hummed softly. "It's a shame nobody ever thought to celebrate his birthday before. Hasn't he been a member for a long while now?"Levy nodded happily. "I think Gildarts found him when he was about twelve or thirteen, I mean if he really is twenty-two like you guessed."Lucy let out another breathy hum, turning away from the crowd to face her friend once again. "Does anybody really know about his life before Gildarts found him? He never talks about his past.""I suppose that makes sense." Levy folded her arms casually, balancing her chin in her palm. "As rambunctious as he is, I think Natu's a little more reserved about his life on purpose. He really never talks about his opinions or feelings even, unless it's regarding a fight." She giggled lightly. "I think if he were to open up to anybody, it would probably be you Lu."Lucy turned her head back towards the crowd, scanning over the bodies in search of him once again. A gentle maybe falling from her lips, her mind more focused on its hunt. She locked eyes with him from across the hall and couldn't help but smile brightly when he started making his was towards her."Happy birthday Natsu." Levy chimed on his approach. He beamed at her, letting a string of smoke leak between his teeth while he thanked her. "Didn't Lucy outdo herself with this party?" She smirked, nudging her blonde best friend who rolled her eyes and groaned internally."She really did." Natsu agreed eagerly, wrapping his arm around Lucy's shoulder to pull her into half a hug. "Aren't I spoiled?""Maybe a little." Levy jested, poking his chest playfully. Lucy wasn't really sure how the rest of the conversation played out, instead focusing on the radiant cake Lissana was currently wheeling out from the kitchen. Not that she would ever mention it, but when comparing this to the strangled looking muffin she had presented to him earlier, she was slightly offended for her own creation."Time to make a wish Natsu-san!" Lissana called softly, pushing the platter in front of him. Natsu closed his eyes in thought before leaning forward to blow out the red candles splattered over the layers, and Lucy couldn't help but smile with the rest of the group. It was just so nice, seeing the boy that always made sure everyone else was doing okay, actually have a moment for himself. Taking a second out of his hectic life to celebrate his very existence. Smiling and cheerful surrounded by his makeshift family. A moment of true happiness. If the remaining day's of her life were at least half as good, Lucy thought she could consider herself lucky.The morning had begun to drift away slowly, the party winding down accordingly. Everybody needing to get to work and begin their day to day routine. The hall progressively becoming more silent. Lucy was busy clearing empty bottles and glasses from a table when she regarded a comforting heat creep over her shoulder. "Did you pick a job yet?" She cooed at her partner, noting his presence without a need to visually see him."Of course." Lucy fluttered her lashed quickly when a flyer was held in front of her sightline, his arm stretching over the top of her head. She squinted slightly, reading the print of the request carefully. The job was nothing out of the ordinary, a group of bandits disturbing the peace of a small town a short train ride away. They only needed to find their base, possibly ruffle them up a little and get them to vacate the premises. "Did you catch that reward?" He presses, stepping around her to face her. She grabbed the flyer from his extended palm, narrowing down on the fine print. The cash reward was rather minimal compared to the requests they usually accepted. She raised a brow at him over the edge of the page and he smirked, telling her to keep reading. Her irises flashed back over the text, blowing wide when she read the final sentence. One first edition copy of Queen Anna Heartfilia's uncensored oral history on celestial magic. "She's probably your great grandmother or something hey? Natsu asked cheerfully, studying her reaction. "I figure we might find something new the other books missed." She could feel the beat of her heart quicken with excitement. Information on celestial magic was insanely hard to find, and to find something created by one of her ancestors was completely unheard of. A once in a lifetime opportunity."Is this really the job you want to take? Today's about you, we don't need to take this for me.""Consider it a thank you for everything you did for me today." Natsu beamed at her, and she couldn't help but return the smile back at him. How lucky was she that this selfless man just so happened to be her best friend. She let out a breathy okay, wrapping the fire-breather in a tight hug. He chuckled at her, grasping her shoulders and holding her a step back to meet her gaze. "I have one more favor though," She nodded slowly, smirking back at the man. "You gotta share this with me before we head out." He reached behind him, grasping a plate he must have placed down earlier. The miserable excuse of a cake she had made for him presented before her.She almost broke out in a fit of laughter, needing to take a moment to catch her breath and calm herself. "You don't need to eat that, Lissana made you a much better one.""Ya, but you made this one." He deadpanned, looking at her curiously. Her cheeks were definitely inflamed, the heat brushing its way down her throat and over her collar bones. If it was possible, her heart rate doubled over its already quickened pace. "Plus," he continued while taking a large bite, "It tastes so fucking good." He laughed warmly, offering a bite in her direction. She joined him with her own fit of giggles, perching herself on one of the hall's benches to share the rest of the desert with him.They ate quickly, sharing their excitement over the new job. Lucy practically gushing over the fact that a book of that stature even existed. No matter her effort, she couldn't contain the smile cemented over her lips."What are you two up to for the rest of the day?" Lissana's cheerful tone carried over, pulling them out of their fixated trance. She had cleaned herself up after the party, draping herself in a summer yellow fitted sundress. It ruffled out over her hips, only accentuating her perfect curves more so. Her white locks pulled back with a pearled clip. Lucy was almost annoyed at her for simply looking like herself, completely void of any flaws."Just heading out for a job," Natsu responded, sliding over to let her take a seat beside him."Oh, that sounds like such fun! I haven't been out in ages." She wined graciously. "I was going to wait for Mira and Elman to return, but it's been almost a month, I'm not sure when they'll be back." She folded her slender fingertips over the edge of the table, leaning in slightly as she spoke. "Would either of you mind if I tagged along? I've been working on this new spell and I'm just dying to try it out!"Natsu glanced towards Lucy, trying to gauge her reaction. The blonde just shrugging at him, leaning back against the bench. She was silently hoping he turned her away, the selfish side of her wanting to spend the next few days with just each other. And happy (Natsu's royally annoying blue flying cat), of course. "Ah sure Lissana," Natsu sputtered, still trying to read the blonde. "The more the merrier I suppose."The fairy-like woman practically sprung out of her seat. Perfect dazzling teeth on show as she glanced back at them over her shoulder. "Oh, fantastic! I can't wait!" She mused, heading off towards the hall exit in a hurry. "I'll just head up and pack real quick!"Natsu flashed an awkward smile back at Lucy, shifting to lean over the table towards her. "Cheer up Luce, this could be fun if you let it. Next job will just be us, sound good?" She nodded back at him, groaning internally before heading up to her own room to gather her things together. It was strange, adding her to the equation. It was always just her and Natsu that went on jobs. Even Gray dropped in from time to time. But it was never Lissana. She knew that it shouldn't matter all that much. Lissana was an amazing person and a fairly good mage in her own right. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew jealousy was the only thing she had against the girl. To her knowledge, Natsu had never reciprocated the girl's advances and constant pining. He was also his own person, his decisions didn't need to compensate for her own muddled feelings. All she knew, was that this was going to be a really long trip.

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