#having my period whilst being in the amazon was not something i had on my bucket list. i'll be honest with you friends. it really wasn't

[pumpking64]

oh. i see how it is. now i get my period? over a week late? why not last week? then i would not get my period when i'll be on that big trip abroad for two weeks next month... ah i see, that wasn't the plan, okay. well what about tomorrow? then i would be able to do all the washing before i got my period. also a no? okay. fuck this i guess

[utterlyinevitable]

1, 3, 7, 17, 33 for both E x B and E x O from the useful/fun character development questions for couples please! Thank you ❤️

> useful/fun character development questions for couples <

1. What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re…hot…”

Rebecca has eyes so that was the initial catalyst for her. She’d let Whoever this dark and stormy handsome giraffe was dick her down. 

Ethan won’t admit it but that evening of her first day when she bought him a drink is when he would really let himself be attracted to her, if only for 15 minutes. Then undeniably after the Dolores case he was fucked. That night he inquired about her tattoo at her wrist and she told him the story behind it. Not only was the ink hot but also her mind behind it.

Ethan was initially attracted to Odette that first day, she has all the qualities of women he normally entertain. But then she seemed really put off by him and that kind of turned him off a bit. He started getting the stirrings again after her trial towards the beginning of book 2 when they became more friendly - who else would he occasionally text on his sabbatical besides his dads? The way she just cared for him and treated him like a person and not like just a mentor or the man on the pedestal everybody believes him to be. She intellectually spars with him but in the most delightful ways and that gets him in his feels. She just seems to be always there. The whole Louise drama is when he solidified that he’s attracted and has romantic feelings for her. 

One day at impromptu brunch they’re talking and laughing and the light is hitting just right and Ethan is smiling and looking at her and something in her just kind of melts. In that moment she knew that they were much more than they were pretending to be.

3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh…I adore them…”

The feeling of total adoration hmmm... 

Ode was after her trial and they were having a drink and just a good time maybe? They’ve both been through a lot the last few weeks and they’ve come out of it as friends. 

Ethan after seeing everything she did for Naveen and for him was a start to this girl being a fixture in his life. He became very fond of her then. But the big smack in the head (or to the heart) was the Louise drama. He couldn’t have come through without her, and she didn’t need to be so sweet nor did she need to be taking care of him again. But she does. Because she’s always there, and she cares. Even if she doesn’t say it, even if he’s still quite sure that she cannot stand him most of the time, she’s by his side holding him up. 

Odette really couldn’t tell you when she went from I know this guy is my friend I’ll keep him to I know I like him much more than my other friends. I’m assuming it would be at some point during all of the events they go to together and just all the time they spend together. Where she starts slowly, gradually falling for him in deep adoration. Most notably hitting her heart is when she gets the keyboard - that changed everything. Followed up by the night of the charity auction where they just walked around the local area of Boston and grabbed a bite to eat at a dive they both joked they needed to make up for in the morning, in their formal get ups and just had a lovely evening.

Rebecca fell in deep adoration with him in the moments they spend pouring over Naveen’s case. His passion and they way he talked about medicine with bright eyes and a crooked boyish smile had her heart melting. These moments were also just theirs - no one knew they were spending all this extra time together. 

Is it weird to say Ethan realized he adored her whilst in the Amazon? Distance makes the heart grow fonder and whatnot. Which is also why he’s a total asshole to her when he comes back - he needs to fight this feeling with anger. Repress repress repress! 

7. Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?

Becca continually pursues Ethan even when she’s ‘seeing’ Bryce - her heart is always with Ethan. She tells him in not so many words but she refuses to say I love you. That’s one thing she will never let him have hanging over her head - she’s embarrassed herself enough by believing him again and again that saying the words out loud could break her/them. She wants it to be his choice if they’re going to be that romantic with one another. She flirts with him naturally and not artfully most times. And Ethan takes it all; he enjoys it even if he knows he can’t go any further than these little quips.

Ethan doesn’t pursue Becca’s affections (he says, he caves a few times and refuses to acknowledge them). He pretty much denies them at every chance he can throughout second year and the beginning of first. As long as he’s employed at Edenbrook they can’t be anything and he stands by that. But then the toxin happens and he can’t not pursue her. Not anymore. Not since she broke up with bryce for him and he shut her down again. Not when she nearly died in his arms. Although he doesn’t want the affections at the beginning, he seeks it out so he flirt with her. Meets every one of her attempts with a half smile and does all he can to pull laughter from her. If he can’t be with her the least he could do is bring a bit of joy.

With Odette, Ethan is the one to pursue his own affection with that kiss and all the little friendly things that become staples in their lives. He doesn’t believe he’s ever actually blatantly flirted with her, everything just came so naturally. 

Ode is completely oblivious to Ethan‘s affections until he kisses her. Well, she had an inkling only because Sienna told her that nobody buys that expensive of a keyboard for simply a friend. While Ode agrees, she doesn’t want to believe it. So she doesn’t. She doesn’t think she pursues any sort of affections for him. But she does. In the way they spend time together, in the way that they talk and subtly flirt and spend all their free time together. In the small gifts of admiration and trinkets they bring to one another just to see the smile.

17. Under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner?

OxE: After an argument or a stressful situation. They’re both quite introverted and need alone time (both) or silence (ethan) to sort through their thoughts. Odette also likes to have alone time once a week - a few hours in an afternoon to just be in herself. She hates the quiet though, so there’s always music playing in the background or something on Netflix. 

BxE: Ethan wants to be left alone when he has lots of work to do, or he’s had an argument with anyone. Whenever he’s feeling heightened emotions he wants to settle it on his own like he’s so used to doing. If Becca’s pissed or on her period she likes to be left alone. If she’s reading she needs pure quiet and will do that when he’s working in another room etc. 

33. Under what circumstances would they feel jealous?

Ethan has more protective jealousy. Of others treating Odette like a piece of meat/sexual object and her letting them. The amount of times she entertains random men who look at her wolfishly when they’re at events and never shuts them down (until they try to move things into ‘more’ territory). When she becomes really really busy with the app and they’re passing ships in the night he’s a little jealous of her professionally - wishes he could be part of this. but it’s hers. and he is part of it in a way. He’s also a little envious of her relationship with her parents. 

Ode isn’t a jealous person at all. She does too much into yoga and meditation for that. She just wants the best for everyone. 

Becca trusts Ethan but she doesn’t trust other women. When she and Ethan are in the early days of dating she’s insecure-ish and will playfully make comments that are meant to be a joke but rooted in jealousy - about how he’s too old for her, questions why he’s not with X, what he sees in Y or not in Z. The longer they’re together they have an unspoken game that ends up in some hot sex. But then the years go by and they’re too codependent. 

Ethan is jealous of her relationship with Bryce and a little bit of the guy she was dating in med school. He has personal doubts about them aside from his ethics and morals, like his age, how they don’t really have all that much in common, how much they fight. He’s more stuck in thinking about Becca’s potential with everyone that isn’t him - he’s afraid he’s going to fail/ruin her. 

[lesbiansforboromir]

Impossible LotR Quiz Answer sheet with explanations!

As an addendum, since people have been doing the quiz I’ve seen a few mistypes and awkwardnesses that are my own fault so I’ve corrected them. This means some people got a higher score than was shown, know that when I looked over your answers I saw your actually right answers and fully appreciated them! It’s good to not that the ‘fill in the blanks’ questions will not take two words in one space, so I’ve had to get creative with how I apply two named folk like Mardil Voronwe, or people who have numbers like Hurin I.

I would also like to say, to everyone talking about how they’ve never read the Silmarillion, this quiz is very purposefully almost entirely based outside of the Silmarillion. This is Appendices stuff! Indeed there is only 1 question even tangentally related to elves in here, this is by design. 

@magaramach, @brynnmclean and @apojiiislands asked to be tagged in this! Answers under the cut. 

Q2. Who was Dora Baggins in relation to Bilbo Baggins? - Second cousin on his father's side Dora Baggins is a very elderly woman who was the daughter of Bilbo’s father’s brother. She likes writing people a lot of unsolicited advice! THIS WAS WRONG AND SAID FIRST COUSIN FOR SO LONG AND I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR IT.

Q3. How many pairs of biological twins are mentioned in the whole of Arda's timeline and what races do they belong too? - 2 for men, 1 for elves and 3 for half-elves Fastred and Folcred, Haleth and Haldar (men) Amrod and Amras (elves) Elured and Elurin, Elrond and Elros, Elladan and Elrohir (half-elves) Now, admittedly Elladan and Elrohir are never actually described as twins. However they appear completely identical and have the same birth date, so it is assumed.

Q4. Baldor is who the skeleton scratching at the door used to be. When Aragorn and co pass through the paths of the dead they find a skeleton clawing at a door to the mountain. It is finely dressed and described as mighty and was later essentially confirmed to be Baldor, the eldest son of King Brego of Rohan, also called Baldor the hapless, who foolishly wandered into the paths of the dead on, apparently, a dare. (the answer to this was originally Brego because of a foolish typo from me, many apologies!)

Q5. When was the Ondonóre Nómesseron Minaþurie written? - During Meneldil's reign. “Enquiry into the Place-names of Gondor” was a text written by settled numenoreans about their new kingdom during Meneldil’s reign, who was the first sole King of Gondor after both Anarion (his father) and Isildur had perished.   

Q6. Farmer Maggot's particular friend was Tom Bombadil  It is stated that Farmer Maggot sometimes peacefully passes through the Old Forest to go and meet Tom Bombadil, who very much enjoys his company. However! Those who answered Merry or Pippin still deserve excellent recognition, Farmer Maggot was indeed fond of Pippin and respected Merry greatly.

Q7. What was the office of the Steward originally created to do? - Keep the Tradition of Isildur When Romendacil I went to war in the east, he realised that if he died then the secret of the Tradition of Isildur would die with him. Hence he wrote it down in a sealed scoll and gave it to a trusted confidante, to be given to his heir if he should perish. This tradition was maintained by further kings and those trusted confidantes became the Stewards of Gondor. This, admittedly, is a more suggested progression than explicit, but it’s a Impossible evil quiz so :) Q8. What was the 'Tradition of Isildur'? - Remember where Elendil was buried. Elendil had been secretly entombed in Calenardhon, supposedly the midpoint between Gondor and Arnor. This was a hallowed space for only Kings at first, but in later years when the Stewards came to rule Gondor they also were permitted the secret. Cirion had the remains moved when Calenardhon was gifted to the Eotheod to eventually become a part of the Kingdom of Rohan. 

Q9. At the time of Pelargir's founding, is the world flat or round? - Flat. Pelargir was founded as a ‘Faithful Numenorean’ haven on the river Anduin. Therefore it was built before Numenor’s destruction in the Akallabeth, the reason for which being that Eru turned the world from flat to round. 

Q10. Which of these monarchs were indolent and had no interest in ruling? - King Atanatar I - King Narmacil I - Tar-Vanimelde King Atanatar I ruled during Gondor’s richest generation and seemed to believe that meant he didn’t need to put any work in. Narmacil I, his son, didn’t want to put any work in, but he at least assigned his nephew, Minalcar, as ‘Karma-Kundo’ or regent during his reign. So he at least did something to keep the country going. Tar-Vanimelde had no interest in ruling and allowed her husband to do most of the governence. This backfired when she died and he organised a coup against his son to hold power.

Q11. When looking back on the Ship-Kings of Gondor, King Tarannon Falastur began the invasion of Harad and expanded Gondor's borders, King Earnil-I finally took Umbar but died at sea shortly afterwards, King Ciryandil spent most of his reign trying to defend Umbar and died in it's seige and King Hyarmendacil defended Umbar against seiges for 35 years before making war upon all Harad and claiming Harondor as a province of Gondor, ending the line of the Ship Kings.

Q12. What happened during the reign of King Romendacil II? - I don't know! Nothing? Yes I know this is particularly evil of me but Romendacil II was originally called Minalcar, yes the same Minalcar who became REGENT of Gondor due to Narmacil’s indolent nature. Minalcar indeed did everything else listed as answers to this question, but none of them happened during his reign as king. Indeed, his reign was said to be peaceful and we have no real information on it, so technically saying we don’t know, and suggesting nothing happened, is actually the most correct answer :)

Q13. Who succeeded Tar-Telperien of Numenor? - Her nephew, Minastir Tar-Telperien was a lesbian Queen of Numenor who never married and never wanted too and did an excellent job and I love her. Her nephew built a tower to mope in about how much he wanted to be an elf. They are not the same. Absolutely terrified about what Amazon could do to her. 

Q14. Whilst his brethren, the nazgul, were attacking the Prancing Pony, The Witch-King was waiting in the Barrow Downs and probably had a really nice time. Not much to this! Witch King was chilling with the Barrow Wights. 

Q15. Which of these characters are described as 'beautiful' at least once in the Lord of the Rings? - Galadriel, Denethor, Eowyn, Frodo, Elanor, Celeborn, Boromir Yes, Arwen is never described as beautiful, but Denethor is :)

Q16. We all love Boromir II, select the similarities he and Boromir I did NOT share. - Renowned relationship with the Rohirrim. - Destroyed the Bridge of Osgiliath - Feared by the Witch King - Retook Ithilien. - Had a brother. In case you’re wondering, yes, I love both Boromirs. But this question is a fun highlight of how many similarities Boromir II has with his namesake. These are the only things they didn’t both do. Although! Boromir I’s son was Cirion who allied with the Eotheod and created Rohan in the first place, the Uruk-Hai destroyed the Bridge of Osgiliath in Boromir I’s lifetime, Boromir II was PROBABLY feared by the witch-king we just don’t know, Boromir II held Ithilien and Boromir I had two elder sisters like Denethor II did.

Q17. Hey, did you know that, from Boromir I's war with the Uruk-Hai of the Morgul Vale, Gondor didn't know peace until Sauron's death on the 25th of March, 3019? Hah hah! How gut wrenching is that? About how long do you think it has been since Gondor knew peace then? Hey wait does that mean Boromir I's valiant victory that came at a personal sacrifice was the beginning of Gondor's wars and then Boromir II's valiant sacrifice was the end- oh god... oh fuck - 550 years To everyone who answered the crossed out answer,,, you’re correct in my heart. You get bonus points. Also hey! What the fuck :) 

Q18. Who was Borondir? - The rider sent to find Eorl who made it to him after starving himself for two days but who then rode to the Celebrant with Eorl anyway and died in that battle. Literally couldn’t love this fellow more. Big Hirgon energy. A hero of Gondor for time immemorial. 

Q19. The Ruling Stewards, from first to last (with their numbers typed as so Turin-I Hurin-II etc), were as follows; Mardil ; Eradan ; Herion ; Belegorn ; Hurin-I ; Turin-I ; Hador ; Barahir ; Dior ; Denethor-I ; Boromir-I ; Cirion ; Hallas ; Hurin-II ; Belecthor-I ; Orodreth ; Ecthelion-I ; Egalmoth ; Beren ; Beregond ; Belecthor-II ; Thorondir ; Turin-II ; Turgon ; Ecthelion-II ; Denethor-II ; and for like two seconds ; Faramir ; Alrighty, we had a bit of a fight in my discord about this but eventually I did relent in agreement that Faramir IS... very briefly... legally considered a RULING Steward. Ruling Stewards being Stewards that ruled a Kingless Gondor. But! With Aragorn RIGHT THERE is just seemed very redundant. Still! I’ll allow the pedant to win out, ten minutes is still a Ruling Steward. ALSO! I decided that having an extra box for the ‘voronwe’ part of mardil voronwe was just mean as it set everyone’s answers off kilter, so I removed that. ALSO for all of those calling me a bastard for adding this question, @illegalstargender was the one who requested it! I wasn’t going too! 

Q20. The Stewards, despite ruling through very tumultuous and violent periods, were often known for boring things (because they simply ruled better than the Kings did, I said what I said) But what boring thing was Steward Turin I remembered for? - Being the only monarch of Gondor that married twice This skeezy bastard really did marry a second time during his OLD age just to father a son. I can only imagine what a dreadful cultural and social effect this had on this prude country. It’s so unnecessary! He had daughters, many of them! One of them certainly had a son before he did. He was just being a controlling arse, down with Turin I!!!!

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 15

first time reader - click here

TW/SUMMARY: Is bad humour a trigger? Cards against humanity. Loki in the wild. Chaotic Tony, chaotic Reader. Team bonding, a gag chapter lmao

My beta is babey 🥺 @miscmarvelwritings

If someone had bothered to ask me what kind of relationship I had with Tony, it would've made my brain glitch. In the weeks we spent fucking, sciencing and hanging out with the Avengers, it never once crossed my mind. We had fun and it was easy. Unlike both of our lives, it didn't require much mental energy for us to get what we wanted from each other. For me, it was easier to ignore my skin aching for Tony when he was already spending so much time on me. I wasn't sure if it would ever be enough, really, so taking exactly as much as he was giving was my best bet.

We built things in his workshop with Pete by our side and it wasn't awkward. The spiderling said he was happy as long as we were happy and didn't mind it too much when Tony got handsy. The man had at least some morals and stuck to kisses, ass-slaps and lewd comments which made Peter snort and fake-retch sure, yet the boy never displayed any real discomfort. It was endearing. He really became the little brother I never thought I would have.

The sex was fantastic, to say the least. We fucked on just about every flat surface on the residential floors. Steve caught us once, although I am almost hundred percent sure Tony staged it all on purpose. The good Captain didn't even blush, instead just silently closed the door behind him as I stared in his face, gripping Tony's head with my thighs.

The weather grew dreary yet both of my parents still stayed out of New York. Mother went back to Canada and dad continued his never-ending party on the West Coast, conquering California and living his best life. My house was dark and cold, and I started hanging around the tower more often than ever. If I wasn't with Tony, I was busy catching up Wanda and Bucky on pop culture, teaching Thor how to bake cakes and doing other meaningless, domestic stuff. The Avengers tower bustled with life at all hours and there always was someone...

I never felt lonely. It was such an unusual experience. Comfort and reassurance was always one room away. Be it Thor with his gratuitous amount of physical affection or his brother's incredibly witty, dark humor, I never had to stay one-on-one with my thoughts for too long.

Personally witnessing Bruce's coming out of his shell was the highlight of my life, no lie. I was so used to the quiet, mousy Banner that my brain refused to acknowledge his amazing sense of humour at first; I wasn't sure if he was joking or ... Or what? Truth to be told, Brucie-bear was as snarky as Tony,Loki and Stephen. The sorcerer had started visiting more often too, under the guise of tutoring Wanda, but all of us saw the way he lingered in the communal areas after their study time came to an end.

If loneliness was a sickness then the tower's inhabitants and frequent visitors were beginning their recovery journey.

"Have you guys heard about Cards Against Humanity?" I asked one evening once the movie credits began rolling. Wanda was squished into my side with her legs in her brother's lap; Clint laying atop both siblings like the trash bag that he was. And I meant it fondly.

On the other side of me, I had Bucky and Loki, who had begun to discuss their respective collections of sharp and pointy things once they deemed the movie lacked action. Legally Blonde and action, did they really think..? Nevermind.

"Yes, and if you're offering, the answer is yes," Clint mumbled, reaching for his second pack of Cheetos.

We gathered in a circle as I brought the shoebox that had the original deck plus a couple of expansions. This was beginning to look interesting. "So, I have the special Avengers edition right there..."

"Say no more," Clint even abandoned his snacks. "But I'mma put on the episode of Lucifer I missed. Multitasking," He winked, wrestling the remote from Pietro. We waited patiently as they finished the obligatory round of horsing before settling down for the game.

I explained the rules of the game, choosing to disregard Loki's scoffing and Wanda's doubt about the quality of the humor in the game. We played a few rounds with me explaining some of the deeper pop culture references. At a point where all of us were engrossed, laughing and poking fun at each other, more of the Avengers parked themselves on the couch.

Stephen, Tony and Bruce evidently had been sciencing, all three men having had their safety goggles perched forgotten atop their heads. Sam, Natasha and Steve - probably sparring. All three of them brought the smell of soap and laundry detergent to the room. All of the newcomers observed us with mild interest, periodically glance at the TV.

It was Wanda's turn to be the card Czar. I had to take a moment to finish my last giggling fit.

"Okay, the white card goes..." She paused dramatically. "I never truly understood blank until I encountered blank." With that, she poked the timer app on her phone. The sixty second countdown began.

I did a quick inventory check. Then I snorted. I had to quickly stuff two knuckles in my mouth, biting down, to attempt to silence the hysterical fit of laughter I was on the brink of. Loki was definitely going to stab me but the opportunity was too good to pass. No fear, we die like men.

"Ooh, she's got something," Clint teased, having noticed my shaking shoulders.

The timer beeped. Naturally, Loki went first. He wore a mildly disgusted smirk. "I never truly understood parting the red sea until I encountered third base," The trickster caved and began chuckling.

Somewhere behind me, Sam and Tony began cackling while Stephen and Steve groaned loudly in mild distaste.

"Press F to pay respects," Pietro clapped Loki on the shoulder with a sympathetic chuff. "I raise you - I never truly understood licking things to claim as your own until I encountered the clitoris," The young avenger struggled through laughter, followed by everyone else this time.

"That's a keeper, ladies," Sam's rich baritone quipped.

I laughed along, inwardly preparing for the inevitable. "Yikes," I whispered, side-eyeing Loki. "I never truly understood daddy issues..." I trailed off, hearing Bucky and Steve beginning to tease Tony. "... Until I encountered Loki, the trickster God."

The room drowned in a sea of laughter, Tony and Clint busting a gut so hard they fell over. Said trickster God was less than amused, however, glaring in my direction with the force of a pissed off bee swarm.

"Ow, that's cold, Princess, that's just cold," Clint squeezed out.

"Loki," I abandoned my stack of cards, crawling over Pietro and Bucky on all fours, settling prettily on my knees in front of Loki. Making my very best puppy eyes. "I love you, with all my cold black heart. And you're technically the patron saint of fun and shit, so that means you must approve of this very clever joke," I pouted, batting my eyelashes.

"Baby girl, I think you're laying it on too thick," Tony gasped, slumping on the couch, holding his sides. Everyone kept laughing, now at my feeble attempt at placating the upset Loki.

Who, by the way, looked a bit spooked. Subtly but surely, the raven-haired Asgardian leaned away from me.

"Don't be mad, I'm too cute to be mad at," I finally snorted, pat-pat-patting him on the shoulder. "It's okay, you can join my club. We have hot old dudes and cookies."

That broke it. First, the corner of his mouth twitched. Then, Loki looked away. I saw the storm before it crashed; with a weird noise of his own and his cheeks puffed out, Loki joined in on the shit-fest, howling full volume and doubling over. I followed suit, until all of us were writhing around on the floor. We'd stop and then someone would make another remark and it would go into another round again.

"Menace," Loki scoffed at me, smiling. "And for the record, the hottest old dude, as you put it, would be me." That said, he went back to calmly waiting for his next turn. "I'm about a thousand years old."

"Thor's older," Bruce noted thoughtfully.

Loki scoffed. "That man cannot chew with his mouth shut. If that's considered attractive, I'm leaving this forsaken planet."

That struck a thought within me. One that was brewing a long time, to be honest. "Thor is the god of himbos," I said with the same tone as "Eureka!".

"Shit, you're right," Sam exclaimed, following with another, weaker fit of laughter meanwhile Bruce had to be the one explaining the term to the poor, poor, clueless members of the Avengers.

I need to find a way to award them some kind of points for learning the gen-z lingo. "Patrick" stars maybe, since they lived under a fucking rock?

"Princess, never a boring day with you around. You don't half-ass this shit," Tony's warmth reached me as he shuffled around on the couch, sitting directly behind me. I leaned my back against his legs.

"I'm not a clown," I shot back. Tony stiffened. Dramatically flailing my hand I announced: "I am the whole god-damn circus!"

As the game progressed, we found out that Clint was That Guy - meaning, the dude every CAH group had, the one who grossly overused the "Bees?!" card and made Star Wars references whenever humanly possible. The only even slightly funny joke was about a lightsaber up the ass, in the end all of us finding out that Bucky knew a little too much about modern sex toys - "Hey, I saw one on Amazon, I'll send you the link, Birdman" - to Steve's open-mouthed horror.

What Loki lacked in references he made up in wit. The play on "During sex, I like to think about genetically engineered supersoldiers" had Bucky scrambling to switch places with Wanda whilst Loki himself was attempting to shoot bedroom eyes at Steve. It was a mess.

Bucky's own play had Steve abandon all pretense at being in any way appropriate as he struggled for air. "The Avengers new rules prohibit using Mjölnir as a dildo." Me and Tony became somewhat of a messy guffawing octopus of limbs for a moment after the super-soldier said it.

"Don't. Tell. Thor!" Strange gritted out, hiding his laughter behind a palm, uncharacteristically having lost his stuffy attitude. By god's will the man was attractive when he smiled.

As time ticked, each one of the starting players had attracted a newcomer. There weren't enough cards for everyone to play (Tony had, of course, ordered additional ones but they wouldn't arrive until the next day) so people kind of whispered and pointed at what they thought would fit.

Natasha conspired with Wanda, Sam went to his bird-bro, Bruce was forcefully dragged by Bucky to his side. Surprisingly, Steve teamed up with Loki which made Pietro stick his nose up in the air and promptly declare he needed no backup.

I already had Tony on my side. The genius wasn't of much help, however, he simply annoyed me out of my skull by randomly giggling and making immature jokes. It should've alarmed me that Stephen was eager to join me and Tony - usually he just butted heads with anyone who had any opinion whatsoever.

I was left bewildered upon discovering the wizard liked drama as much as the Kardashian clan and was quite competitive at causing the most shit.

My clown crown felt threatened.

"This one," Tony poked at a card in my hand.

"If you think that's funny, your intellect is obviously overestimated." Stephen dismissively waved a hand. "This one," It was unmistakable whom the trembling finger belonged to. It pointed at a card on the other side.

"Wizards are just hilarious," Tony seeped sarcasm.

"Try me, Beyonce," Stephen murmured darkly.

That was just background noise to me. I had all my undivided attention on the TV, my last two functioning brain cells focused on the scene unfolding right in front of me. The Lucifer episode, the devil and his insatiable thirst for honey. The timer buzzed but I was still drawn towards Tom Ellis dipping two of his fingers first in the honeypot, then in his mouth, all the while looking like a damn snack himself. Illegal. I've never simped so hard for a fictional character.

A golden glow snatched a card out of my grasp, levitating it.

"Girl, what the hell?" Wanda saw my face and attempted to revert me back to earth. "Someone turn off the TV, there's not enough water in the tower to quench her thirst."

"Hey, did you two just - don't ignore me!" Tony whined, managing to tug on my hair and attempt to reach for the card now held in Stephen's grasp, simultaneously.

"I don't blame her," Clint mused. "That right there is one very fine dude."

I shook my head, clearing any untoward thoughts. Focus. "First of all, Bird, you're a dude. That there," I pointed up at the TV. "Is a man. A Man." I emphasised, getting a jealous poke in the back from Tony. "Second of all..." I turned towards Stephen. "The quaffle, the snitch and the AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH!" The last of my sentence was pitched. The sorcerer had raised his arm, clutching the card, and I struggled to reach it.

"What... What did you just say?" Stephen was laughing, not at all phased by me climbing him like a tree to take hold of what's mine. Tony was actively helping - or, trying to. One-handed. The other hand attempted to snatch the rest of the cards from my grasp.

"And that's an F on teamwork," Bucky's sarcasm was complemented by Steve's famous Captain America Is Disappointed In You look.

"Uhh... Guys? What's going on?" Peter's timid voice leaked confusion.

"Hello, friends," Thor boomed, drowning out the boy's questioning noises.

"We're playing a game. Cards Against Humanity."

Wordlessly, Peter towed Thor along with him to find a spot amongst us. And even if Thor didn't get any of the references, he still was good fun. His laugh was infectious. The way he cheered for every winner was incredibly wholesome. Golden space puppy. The urge to immediately pet Thor and give him endless pop-tarts was strong in me.

Loki was one dramatic, vengeful bitch. "Women get turned on by the Devil himself"? I was ready to throw hands with the trickster. Everybody's laughter drowned out any cursing I might or might have not directed towards Loki who looked far too satisfied with himself. I was going to substitute the sugar for his tea with salt one day, mark my words.

I wouldn't admit it over my dead body, but the way he got back at me for the daddy issues joke was kinda funny. Okay, very funny. It was fucking hilarious. I admire a clever man.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby

[oculus-de-malus]

URL CHALLENGE: You have to answer each question that spells out and corresponds to your blog’s url.

O - Oldest film that you enjoy?

C - Country you want to visit?

U - Unusual Phobia you have?

L - Lazy Day or a Busy Day?

U - Underwater or On Sands?

S - Scariest movie you like?

D - Deepest Wish written in ⭐️

E - Earth, Fire, Water or Air? Why?

M - Memory that brings you happiness?

A - Age you learned something difficult?

L - Loneliest moment of your life?

U - Unique talent(s)?

S - Song you can’t get enough of?

O - The oldest film that I enjoy is actually one of the oldest films, period. Georges Méliès Le Voyage dans la lune, which was made in 1902. It's an enchanting visual feast, with Méliès himelf being a true pioneer of cinema... his work was extensive, and he produced a multitude of films, a lot of which were centred around astronomy or religion, notably the devil. YouTube should have a lot of his work if anyone is inclined to seek it out on the back of this reply, and I really do urge you to do so...

C - Whilst I have travelled a fair bit, there is still so much that I still want to see... I've never been to Australia, or Canada, or Russia... I've never visited South America in its entirety either... I'd love to visit the Amazon rainforest... I've worked with charities that have helped protect and preserve it, and even though the heat and humidity would no doubt disagree with me, I would love to visit it one day...

U - Believe it or not, but I don't have any phobias! At least none that spring to mind... I used to be scared of the dark as a very young child, but quickly learned to embrace it as the beautiful, natural thing that it is, to the extent I now prefer it to the light...

L - It completely depends on the circumstances and the company... mood, the weather, how tired I am... all these factors play a part! If I'm with the right person and we're in the right mood, busy days are a great way to spend the time, exploring, and enjoying various activities... however, lounging out in bed with the right person all day and ordering takeaway can be so great too...

U - Being underwater is such a relaxing experience... I used to scuba dive quite a bit, and had some fantastic times exploring various parts of the Mediterranean coasts... however it's not generally something you can do for a long duration, so after a long dive, it's nice to lay out and relax for a bit on the sand... but that said, I'm not a sunbather... I tan, but if I'm on a beach, you'll likely find me walking, paddling, swimming in the sea, exploring rock pools, or being buried in the sand, rather than laying out on it...

S - Scariest movie I like is a tough one... films have never scared me as such, and I have always enjoyed horror as a genre, whether it be supernatural, psychological, slasher, monster or anything and everything inbetween... I do recall a film that affected me a bit when I was young though... Threads (1984)... it's a devastating portrayal of what would happen in the event of a nuclear bomb hitting a small UK town, told in a very matter-of-fact documentary style way... I've watched it since, and the impact it had on that first viewing is not negated much with repeat viewings... definitely not something to watch if feeling depressed...

D - When I was six, I wished hard to be an astronaut so that I could see the stars, haha...

E - In terms of astrology? Or as 'elements'? I don't put much stock in astrology... but I have an open mind and find the subject and its history interesting... a friend of mine was kind enough to do my astrological chart for me over Lockdown... more for her interest/noseyness than mine, but it was very interesting... both me and my girlfriend are fire signs in this regard, so I guess I'd better choose that... as elements, I love anything earth and water, as I love nature and often feel at peace near and in water, despite it essentially 'extinguishing' who I am, astrologically speaking...

M - A memory that brings me happiness... there are a few, so not easy to choose just one... one of more recent ones is last weekend, when I spent a special day with my girlfriend, ahead of her birthday...

A - I guess it depends what you mean by difficult! I learned to play the piano from a young age... it gave me the great ability to be able to read music, something you never forget... I also learned to ski when I was about 14... I also used to race dirt bikes in my late teens and took a rally driving course too... but I still probably cite piano as more difficult than these... probably because I was so young!

L - Wow, this one hits hard to talk about... it was earlier this year, when I'd come out of a very stressful, intense, all consuming relationship... on both sides... something that was no longer what it had been, despite us both still loving and having feelings for one another... once I had taken the decision to finally, and sadly, end it, I'd never felt so alone... I wasn't in a good place... luckily I had some people around me to support me and distract me enough to get through it... I honestly don't think I'd be here typing this now, if I hadn't...

U - Well, everyone is unique, but I doubt I have a talent that is! I can juggle, but that isn't really very unique... I'm a good multi-tasker, but that's also probably because I am an overthinker too... haha... I've unfortunately(?) been someone who has always been good at everything (academics, sports, hobbies) but has never excelled in anything... I was never a stand out performer in anything in particular, really...

S - At the moment I can't stop listening to :Wumpscut: - Hard to Bear... it got lodged in my brain when I was driving the other day, so I am forced by my brain to repeat it until it's been adequately satiated...

[miaswetnambcu]

Critical Lecture 1 - How has lifestyle, industrial and social changes impacted fashion and textiles

This lecture was set to explore historical aspects that have driven changes in the fashion industry and to start to interpret the significance that influential factors will play in the future of the fashion industry. 

The first thing we looked at was a YouTube video that highlighted how fashion has evolved over the last 100 years. The video started from 1915 and went up in units of 10 to illustrate the different fashion trends all the way through until 2015. The video displayed how fashion changed drastically between the span of 10 years, let alone 100 years. This raises the question as to what exactly drives these drastic changes in the fashion industry.

Some factors that can change the fashion industry would be Industry and technology, world events and social change. Social change is when social structure is altered through “changes in cultural symbols, rules of behaviour, social organisations or value systems”, (Wilterdink, N., 2020). World events can lead to a significant social change. 

One example given in the lecture was the growth of the fashion industry, which was caused by the Industrial Revolution (1870-1900′s). The enabled the Suffragettes to use fashion as a form of branding to promote their cause. The Suffragettes used fashion and the meaning of colour to communicate with early photography. In 1908, Emmeline Pettick-Lawrence formulated the scheme of purple for dignity, white for purity and green for hope (The Guardian, 2015). This led to Liberty and Selfridges to sell ranges of tricolour ribbon, underwear, bags and soap, (The Guardian, 2015). This link between a world event and social change shows how these factors can impact the fashion industry in many ways and can lead to a range of different things.

Another example of this is the ‘Make Do and Mend’ campaign that was published in 1942 in the midst of World War II. The pamphlet that was published about the ‘Make Do and Mend’ scheme highlighted ideas on how housewives could update their wardrobes by altering the clothes they already had. Examples given were to unpick old jumpers to knit new ones, turn men’s clothes into women’s and to add patches of fabric to cover holes in garments. The world war changed how people dressed during that time, as there were restrictions on what people could buy due to the limited resources during the war. More structured clothing, such as a women’s suit, were seen more regularly, as many women restructured their husband’s suits to create a new blazer and skirt set. Another popular item was a jumpsuit style garment, which was very convenient to pull on in a rush whilst being stylish at the same time.

A few years after the war, this more masculine approach to female clothing was disappearing, with a more feminine approach to style starting to show through. In 1947, Christian Dior came out with a collection that completely contrasted against what what seen in fashion at that time. Instead of short skirts and square shoulders, Dior brought out a collection that included knee-length skirts, with rounded shouldered blazers with a tight waist to emphasise the busts and hips of the women (Independent, 2011). The ‘New Look’ collection was a breakthrough in the fashion industry and seemed to turn it on its head, leading to the continuation of this style into the 60′s.

In this lecture, my group and I were given a task to look into the 1990′s and consider influencing factors that impacted fashion designers from that decade. To start this task, we looked into what was happening in industry and technology in this decade. The internet was gaining popularity as well as internet shopping, with the invention of Amazon and Ebay in the middle of the decade. The first smart phone was introduced in 1994, leading to the blow up in the mobile phone industry that is seen today. We also looked into world events from the 90′s and the first event we found was Princess Diana’s death. Diana’s death shocked the whole world and lead to a great period of mourning for the princess. Diana herself had an impact on the fashion industry when she was alive, with iconic outfits such as her little black dress after her divorce, or her bicycle shorts with sweatshirts that she was constantly seen wearing. The event of her death would have lead to a lot of people wanting to commemorate her and one way to do this would be to take inspiration from some of her most iconic style choices. 

We looked into the most prominent fashion trends of the 90′s and try to create links to other elements of the decade. The first trend we looked into was grunge. The rise in rock music and bands such as Nirvana and Pearl Jam influenced the way that many people chose to dress in the 90′s. The death of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain would have impacted this community heavily as Nirvana was an integral part of the grunge music industry. People associated with the grunge trend were seen to wear plaid shirts over a band t-shirt with Dr. Martens and torn jeans. The trend originated from Seattle, which was trying to shed its ‘hippie’ style into the grunge style with the emergence of the bands that were popular at the time.  Leather was another trend seen throughout the 90′s, with the infamous image of Winona Ryder in a leather jacket and graphic t-shirt circled around. This outfit would tie back to the grunge theme as well, showing how prevalent it was during the 90′s. With the rise in paparazzi in this decade, it seems as though more celebrity outfits were captured and shown in the tabloids, which led to trends spreading quicker than they previously had.

Another fashion trends was derived from the film ‘Clueless’. The trend was based on the iconic plaid blazers and skirts that were seen in the movie. Even Princess Diana herself had her own take on the fashion trend, with a grey blazer and skirt set. This trend rose from the increase in popularity of ‘pop culture’ with the high interest in the film. This was brought into the 00′s, where a pop culture was at its peak with the celebrities at the time, such as Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. Similarly, Friends was launched in the 90′s and was an integral part of the fashion and beauty industry of the time, with Jennifer Anniston being the inspiration behind many people’s style choices and even haircuts. This is once again illustrating the influence of pop culture in the 90′s and how quickly people were influenced by it. 

This lecture highlighted how influential other industries are towards the fashion industry. In current times, events such as the current pandemic can have a huge impact on what is trending and how popular a product is or will be. This is something that my group and I have the take into consideration when choosing our products and to ensure it will fit with the current social changes that are happening and will continue to happen in the future.

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 19)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Ch6apter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15 , Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18

She Said

Back in LA, I found myself home schooling again as Covid was seeing another surge and there was still no vaccine on the horizon.  It was definitely a struggle not having Keanu there in my regular day to day life especially as I still had to deal with the downsides associated with being his girlfriend – like not having my social media fix and getting photographed looking like shit while doing  the grocery shopping!

The memory of that day alone together in New York was seared in my brain;  And it either helped me get through, looking forward to having him home again or made things 50 times worse because it reminded me how much I missed him.

After the amazing sex and snoozing, we’d headed to a café for brunch then spent a couple of hours walking in the park. We weren’t bothered by any fans or photographers and we were just able to enjoy a relaxing time together. It was what we needed after the tension that was there because of the whole publicity issue. And the sex had left us physically relaxed too. We talked about plans for later in the year after John Wick 4 filming had concluded. There would be a 3 week spell of filming in New York then another 3 week shoot in Russia before heading back to New York to finish for a couple more months. The Russia slot had changed due to some problem with permissions to use a specific city which was why they had to break up the New York shoot.

I found myself far more stressed by the renewed lockdown and home schooling this second time around – I think I’d just got too used to Keanu being around so it was like readjusting to being a single parent yet again and I definitely had a shorter fuse.

Keanu came home for a couple of days between the New York and Russia shoots and unfortunately I took out the tension I was feeling on him. He came straight to my house from the airport, exhausted from the shoot where they’d tried to get ahead of themselves so had been doing 12-16 hour days. He’d accumulated a pile of dirty laundry which he asked if I wouldn’t mind doing.

“What? You couldn’t get hotel services to deal with this?” I snapped

“Come on, I’ve been working 6 til 10 every day this week, I just forgot” he pleaded.

“Whatever!”

Later I apologised to him. I put it down to having just had two consecutive school days that week  which was exhausting physically and mentally and I’d been a bit under the weather. He forgave me but there were a couple more tense moments before he went to Russia.

The car to take him to the airport was due soon and he gathered his bags and then pulled me close. I didn’t want to let him go.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been such a bitch!” I grovelled, looking up into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

“Hey, it’s OK, I know it’s tough being here holding the fort. I’ve got it good, I know that. I’m busy all day and sometimes into the night on set and I don’t have all the responsibilities you have so, I know it’s hard hun but just think, in August. I’ll be back and we can all just be together for as long as we like. I haven’t accepted any other work yet so it’s just promo for Matrix and John Wick that will definitely happen and that might be done more on line now that we know it works! And who knows, I might just get you pregnant as well!”

 “You have to be here to do that sweetie”

 “I know” he grinned giving my nose a tweak.

 He Said

The first shooting in New York went well and whilst I missed Sophia and the kids, I was working so hard that there wasn’t much time for me to dwell on it. And the memory of that special day alone together sustained me, knowing that at the end of the John Wick shoot, I’d have at least a few months at home before having  to go anywhere on a shoot or promotional tour.  

I kept in touch via messaging and calls and the occasional bunch of flowers or a book sent to her to let her know she was in my thoughts but I know it was harder on her being alone especially when they had to start home schooling again. Julie was still part of the bubble but her baby was still small so she wasn’t always able to do her share, so Sophia and Miranda picked up the slack.  

When I managed to pop back to LA in-between the first New York and the Russia shoots, Sophia was tetchy and I wondered whether it would have been better to simply go straight to Russia and stay out of her way! But she looked tired and drawn so I tried my best to be patient and took the kids out to play in the park for a few hours to give her a break whilst  I was around.  It wasn’t fun being on the receiving end of her temper, but I wished I could make life easier for her all the time and not have yet another period of location shooting ahead of me. I reassured her that once I was home, we’d have a few months at least together and I hoped that maybe then we’d strike it lucky with the baby plans.

 She Said

While Keanu was in Russia, it really was a case of soldiering on. I was still feeling under the weather and constantly taking my temperature in case I was somehow going down with Covid but it was always normal regardless of how rubbish I felt.

We mostly did our calls in the mornings at around 8am as Russia is 10 hours ahead. Sometimes it was phone and sometimes video call depending on how good his internet was.  

The kids would usually pile in in front of the iPad at some point in each call and his smile was so heart-warming to see when they popped up.

“You got any messages for Karina?” I asked him on one call “I’m meeting her for coffee tomorrow”

“Just say hi and that I’ll try to see her and mom when I’m home in-between Russia and NY OK? Only 2 days to go.”

“Yup, I’m counting down the hours” I said showing him my phone screen where I’d set a countdown on my home screen.

The next day, Karina and I sat in the sun enjoying a coffee. Well, I should clarify, she was enjoying a coffee and I was finding mine distinctly weird.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with this milk. My coffee tastes weird."

“no mine’s fine” you sure you’re OK. You look kinda pale.

“Yeah I just think this whole lockdown and home schooling thing is wearing me down. I was OK first time around when it was just 2 a week but now I sometimes get 3 days with 5 kids and I miss Keanu!”

“Poor baby – you should see your doctor though if you don’t feel better soon …………… or maybe your OBGYN!” she said, whispering the last part.

“What?!”

“Don’t tell me it hasn’t occurred to you” Karina said incredulously. “You two are trying right?”

“What?”

‘What’ is all I seemed to be able to say! She started laughing then.

“Don’t worry,  he didn’t tell me anything, I just guessed by some stuff he said without realising and now here you are looking distinctly sickly …… and you were last together about a month ago right?”

I nodded, doing the maths and realising she had a point – I hadn’t had my period in how many weeks now? I hadn’t done the calculations, what with everything going on, it had totally slipped my mind.

I could feel the colour rising in my cheeks.

“you got a test at home?”

I shook my head.

“Well go get one right after this! – he’s home the day after tomorrow right? Well you might have a lovely surprise for him eh?”

After our meet up I went straight home deciding against getting a test  - I was paranoid about picking one up in person and someone recognising me and alerting the press.  Instead I ordered one from Amazon which would be delivered the next morning. Karina texted me a couple of hours later to ask if I had done a test and was frustrated to hear I’d not got one yet though she got why I had bottled it. I told her I wasn’t about to tell her the result before her brother anyway!

 He Said

I sank into the seat on the plane next to Chad, relieved to have the Russia shoot in the can. One of the stewards bought my requested Bloody Mary and I took a sip, a satisfied sigh leaving my lips.

“Happy?” Chad asked.

“Yeah, just glad to have a few days with Sophia if I’m honest. After this movie, my foot is coming off the pedal, I swear”

“Hard being away right? When you have a special someone at home that is?”

“Yup and she’s not been well this whole time  - she’s been doing all this home schooling and it’s too much on your own. I mean those kids are great but, you know, they bounce out of bed at 7 and they just keep on bouncing til 7 or 8 at night like Duracell bunnies!”

“And you want more?”

“What?!” I spluttered.

“Come on, I can tell. You’ve said too many things that have clued me in”

I was blushing fiercely but there was little point trying to hide this from Chad. He’d known me for over 20 years and could read me like a book.

“Oh man, I must be the most transparent person on the planet”

“nahh you’re good at being guarded when you need to but, I just know you, OK? Good luck to you. I hope it works out, you both deserve it”

“Thanks man”

We landed in the early evening  in LA. With the magic of the time difference, our bodies had had 12 hours of flight but it was just 2 hours after take off in terms of the time on the clock. I’d tried not to sleep too much but just enough so that I could stay awake till maybe 10 or 11pm  and then catch up on my sleep that evening. I’d then have a 5 day break with Sophia before heading back to New York for the rest of the shoot.

She Said

I was like a cat on a hit tin roof from 6pm when Keanu texted to say he’d landed. I got the kids ready for bed but let them wait in their PJs so they could see him  - he was there by 7.30. We kissed briefly in the entryway before he came into the house proper to greet the kids and thrill them with a Russian doll and traditional ushanka hat each.  We managed to get them off to bed by 8.30, finally collapsing on the sofa.

I nestled into Keanu’s side, relishing in the warmth and closeness I’d missed for the past 3 weeks.

“Do you want a drink?” I asked.

“No, I’m fine – the only thing that seems appealing is a hot chocolate before bed if I’m honest, I’m running on empty, trying to stay up as long as I can!”

“mmmm, me too and I don’t have the excuse of a long haul flight!”

“Are you ready for your gifts?”

“mmmm yes please”

He kissed my cheek and got up to hunt in his bag.

He’d got me a bottle of Beluga vodka and a gorgeous traditional Russian scarf with pretty red roses woven on a black background.

“Hey, I guess we could have a little welcome home shot on ice?”

 “Yeah sure”  

 “I’ll just get the glasses and I’ve got a little gift for you too.”

I went to the kitchen where my gift was already waiting on the counter and grabbed a shot glass and some ice and went back to the living room and sat down beside him again.

“Just one glass?” he queried.

“Yup, I don’t fancy it right now, sorry – anyway, here” I said handing him a small gift.

“You didn’t have to get my anything!”

“I kind of did” I said simply,  making him cock his eyebrow quizzically at me as he pulled on the ribbon and unwrapped my gift.   There was tissue paper inside which he  pulled open.

He was quiet for several seconds, staring down in his lap before he lifted his dark eyes to mine, a single tear escaping.

“Come ‘ere”

He Said

I  could often be taciturn, in difficult interviews for example, but it was rare for me to be rendered speechless yet that’s what I was after unwrapping Sophia’s gift. I’d never actually seen one before in real life, a strange thing to admit maybe for a 56 year old man, but there it was in my lap: A positive pregnancy test.  We’d done it, conceived at our combined age of nearly 100!,  without any great stress or strain and I was thrilled  - even in my jet lagged state I felt elated and I kissed and hugged Sophia until she couldn’t take any more!

We skipped the vodka and went straight to bed, talking briefly about the details before falling asleep, both  of us exhausted for our different reasons. I spooned behind her with my hand resting on her belly and her hand over mine and smiled as I drifted to sleep.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithk’eanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles @bitchyslut99

[renegade-is-in-my-blood]

Being in the blogging business for around 8 years now I came to learn a lot. Let’s hear from the old bitter blogger about the difference between being an ambassador and being a customer. When you’re investing more than you’re gaining from the collaboration it’s not really a collaboration you’re looking for.

There is a new trend going around social media, especially Instagram. I’ve been getting collaboration offers on a daily basis even pre COVID times but now the amount of pseudo collaborations increased.

Hands down it is an incredible business strategy from the business point of view.

Everyone wants to be an ambassador.

Ambassador became an even more prestigious title than an influencer. Influencer posses some sort of responsibility for their actions whilst ambassador is just being paid for simply being.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Many brands use this knowledge to the fullest and offers these pseudo collaborations.

So what is a pseudo collaboration?

Well, it starts off by being contacted by a brand.

You’ll receive a ctrl+c ctrl+v message from a brand-name-scout. The message contains several cute emojis and addresses you as a gorgeous, pretty, cutie, love, honey, sweety, and if they really want to get you, even by your Instagram name.

It’s usually followed by a bunch of compliments about your fashion style, vibe, Instagram, or whatever. Then there is a lie about following or just generally noticing you for a while without ever seeing your insta story, like any of your posts, or even actually following you.

Now it’s time for an offer beneficial for you.

Usually, it’s free products, a way to earn a commission, or just the sheer option to be able to call yourself an ambassador. Every single brand out there offers a “support” like anyone really knows what’s that supposed to mean. I had several ones even offering me a travel trips, but never elaborated on it after my further questioning.

Now comes the hook with a “do you want to learn more?” question.

If you think I’m exaggeration for the story and I can’t be generalizing all of the collaborations offers into a simple standard form I wish you were right. Here are some of the screenshots of my current Instagram DMs:

You might think: “What’s wrong with that? They’re trying so don’t be mean. Just ignore them.” let me remind you how dumb Instagram algorithm is.

If your account is followed by bots, messaged by bots, liked by bots Instagram assumes you’re one of them or you got hacked by them. Sweet of them for trying to protect you thought, but holy hell did that made everything super complicated for me.

I got several messages from the brand scouts messaging me again because their previous account got deleted.

No shit Sherlock, it’s like you can’t keep creating accounts, following and messaging a bunch of people at once and ask for money anymore.

So now every time my account gets suspicious activity such as too many likes/follows/messages Instagram suspects my account got hacked. Each time they require I change my password and let me tell you I ran out of password ideas months ago.

That’s not the worst part though.

After each time I change my password I’m blocked for 7 days from liking, following, or adding tags to my posts and that sucks. Just to get a better picture of this issue I’m blocked approximately once sometimes twice per month.

The block comes hand in hand with a shadowban that lingers for god knows how long, meaning Instagram is not gonna support you in any way. That’s why I have around 40 likes on a posts with 47K followers most of which are bots anyway.

I loath Instagram app yet I spend hours a day on the hellish site and I’m not only one.

We spend so much time on Instagram anyway so when a chance to earn money form it comes along you’re tempted to take it. Brands know that.

Imagine you’re a small-town girl with around 400 followers on Instagram. You already feel pretty popular right?

Now imagine you get the messages I shared above but you get just one. Someone out there thinks you’re so popular they want you on their team, you are just like the big influencers, you get job offers for being an Instagram star. You’re the next Kardashian.

You can have all of the things they said to you BUT you need to do something for them first. You have to pay for it.

And here is the catch with all of the pseudo collaborations.

What they don’t say to you in their first message is what it’s gonna cost you.

Many offers you free stuff but you need to pay for the one-time shipping. Some brands offer you a unique discount of around 40-60% off so you’ll pay just a part of the price and you can call yourself an ambassador.

I don’t know about you, but I thought that was called the customer. You buy a product, you wear it and occasionally you take photo of it on your social media sites. The new term is an ambassador apparently.

I get why so many people agree to this kind of collaboration. It’s new for you. It makes you feel good and successful in your friend’s and families eyes. And there is that hopefully undertone of making money from it.

Aren’t the brands unprofitable when they give away discounts and free stuff?

In a theory, yes, but there is one thing all of the brands that messaged me had in common except for the audacity.

Overpriced products.

I got messaged by jewelry stores, fashion stores and gym equipment stores most of the time. I took the time and did my research on every one of them.

When a store sold jewelry, they had the same products as the rest of the jewelry stores I got contacted by. A small variety of around 8 products most of them sold out anyway. And let’s not forget the ridiculously high prices. You can’t charge a cheap Chinese necklace you can get on amazon or aliexpress for under a 1$ for 40$.

So even if you’re paying just around 30$ for your ambassador order they are still making a profit on your wannabe Instagramer need cuz they purchased said items for far less.

Well, I’m being a little miss know it all right?

How can I talk about pseudo collaboration like this when it’s all based on assumptions. Well you know me, I’m curious as hell and I actually went through 3 pseudo collaborations myself just to prove a point.

I literally spend money so I can tell you about it right now so here is how my 3 pseudo collaborations went like.

All of the ones I choose were jewelry based pseudo collaborations. With the corona times, post offices are overwhelmed with parcels. I ordered big parcels in recent times and they arrived with around a month delay. I figured smaller jewelry in an envelope form would be quicker to arrive and I was right.

Pseudo collaboration number one VONACHI:

A simple yet luxurious-looking website with very few decent pieces of jewelry, offered me 3 free pieces to take a photo in and promote. I would also get a 60% discount code and every time my code would be used I would receive 30% of the money amount. Incredibly overpriced amount in the first place.

Here is the list of all of the benefits they offered.

The scout that approached me was very eager. They kept insisting I place my order right away. No time to waste.

To make it clear I got a simple code to apply in a check out that subtracted the price and I got the pieces for free. All I had to do was pay a 20$ shipping fee what seems like nothing but for 3 small necklaces, it is way too much.

Another thing that was odd was that I was required to take a screenshot of my order and send it back to scout. I guess to prove I was legit.

After bunch of further compliments and claims how excited they are to be working with me we ended our conversation.

If you think I was being reckless to give my credit card and home address to such a questionable site don’t be.

Honestly, I trust zero people, sometimes I don’t even trust myself. I used a card I have no to very little money on and I got it shipped to a work address.

My parcel from china arrived in around a month and a half. I got one black box with one necklace and the other 2 necklaces were in small plastic bags. I received a note about welcoming me to the program and asking me to contact vonachi’s official Instagram account for setting up my discount code and that’s exactly what I did. The official page responded after longer time period with just a “this is your code” message. I took a photo, tagged vonachi as a business partner, and shared my code. I did my part and I was never contacted by them again.

My 60% code is VONAMBNAT and as you might have guessed no one used it so far.

Or at least no one told me it was used. If someone were to use my code I would be contacted by vonachi and here is the problem. I’m supposed to trust them with their credibility cuz there is no other way for me to check it for myself. This is what it’s missing from the old Time collaborations of mine. I would get a tracking code, an account login, graphs, statistics, and one on one communication with a brand in my previous collaborations. But you know Golden times for influencers are long gone.

Now I’m left to just simply trust them.

Why would they ever confess someone used my code? If a customer gets 60% off and I’m getting 30% from already discounted item there is just a very little left for vonachi. They don’t say anything and get to keep my 30% share.

They didn’t put much effort into tracking system cuz they are not expecting their ambassadors/customers to make any sales anyway.

The products were not that bad. They came in a bit rusty and tangled but I was excepting much worse.

Hell, I was not expecting them to legitimately arrive.

Pseudo collaboration number 2: ENGELSINN

I initiated this pseudo collaboration myself. Engelsinn paid a significant amount of money to Instagram promoted post and that’s where I found out they are looking for ambassadors.

I filled out an application form.

This one felt more legit cuz they actually asked for followers count and all of the communication occurred via email. Automated emails but still it reminded me of good old days.

I was given a 40% discount code to use on my first order. The shipping was free but it still cost me another 20$ to get the product. Since placing my first order I got a 20% discount code “nat7x20” for my followers to get 20% off their engelsinn order.

When my code is redeemed 2 times I get one jewelry of my choice for free.

Do I even need to mention that I didn’t get any email since?

Well, that’s not exactly true I got 2 more emails each with another discount code I could use for 24 hours and buy more of their stuff. But none about redeemed code.

Engelsinn is a german based brand and living so close I got my parcel in around a week. I got myself a rose gold knot bracelet and I feel like a hypocrite but I actually really love this one and wear it every day. I know I wouldn’t get it if it wasn’t for the research but I’m glad I did.

Btw the ad about engelsinn looking for ambassador is still up there and it still says they have only a few places left. It’s been 2 months.

Pseudo collaboration number 3: CUZETTE

I got messaged by them on my Instagram and their offer was super confusing. They promised it all. 3 free stuff now, free stuff every month, paid trip to several destinations, and even 50$ voucher. The scout called me sweety exactly 9 times during our conversations. It was super annoying.

So I choose another 3 free items and paid another 20$ for shipping. When I asked about the 50$ voucher I was told I would need to refer 5 friends who would also become cuzette ambassador or delegate as they named it, to get the 50$. No info about the travel trips though.

I was told to contact the official page for more info but it took days for them to finally reply with nothing new just more compliments and excitement about the future. It’s been 2 months and I still haven’t received my order just as I was expecting.

Later on, I endorsed in conversation with several other brands asking for more info, looking for something different than standard copy and paste form. Unsuccessful.

Every time I asked how many ambassadors they have in their program the answer was always “around 3000“. Once again, you have 3000 customers and not 3000 ambassadors. If the only people who buy from you are people you ask to buy from you, you’re doing something wrong.

But your business plan is on point.

When I asked about who and where makes their products I was either met with a silence or a sweet talk about a responsible brand.

These brands are providing people with content. You get to take photos of the items you ordered and you get to be as creative as you want. In these COVID times so many brands had to cancel or postpone their collaborations with bloggers or Instagrammers. I saw huge travel/luxurious instagramers switch form hotel and travel collaborations to promoting kitchen wipes. Times are tough and you got to do what you got to do.

Yet these small businesses with hight prices are thriving?

You know it’s not about the product but about the potential.

Profiting on greediness.

So smart.

To prove my point even further I got to confess one more thing. I mentioned before that I manage Instagram accounts for different brands and among them is one fashion store. I was not only at the ambassadors’ side but on the scouting side as well.

All I had to do was search for people who looked like they would be willing to become an ambassador for our store and had decent amount of followers. I had saved message form and all I did was try to guess peoples names so the message seemed more personal. Once they agreed to a discussion I let my boss take the lead.

So yeah, try to really think about the offers you get.

Look at it from all points of view and ask yourself if it’s profitable for anyone else but the brand.

If you want to have offers pouring your way try adding #ad #spon #collab to your next Instagram posts. That’s how they look for their next ambassador.

Everyone wants to be an ambassador. 

Pseudo Collaborations- Everyone wants to be an Ambassador Being in the blogging business for around 8 years now I came to learn a lot. Let's hear from the old bitter blogger about the difference between being an ambassador and being a customer.

[artificialqueens]

Bring It On: All or Nothing pt 3 (Branjie) - Ashley

A/N: in our longest chapter yet we see Brooke get her first taste of life as an Amazon through both practising and partying with them. Thanks so much for all the lovely comments - make sure to keep the feedback coming. I made a playlist for the fic if anyone is interested. Again, I haven’t wrote in a long time so know this isn’t to the best standard but I hope I’m fulfilling everyone’s branjie cheerleading fantasy..xoxo Ashley.

A typical Saturday for Brooke Lynn Hytes started at 6:30 AM. She’d wake up, brush her teeth, clear any mess from her room and eat breakfast before going to ballet. After 30 minutes of stretching and basic Pilates, she’d start with a company class, improving her craft outside of choreo. Next comes rehearsal for an upcoming show, play, recital or audition. A quick break for lunch and school work then back to training. By 5PM she’d have the rest of the afternoon to meet friends or do more school work if needed.

The day following the fight was not a typical Saturday.

Waking at 11 AM, Brooke was initially surprised to find herself on the floor before remembering the events of the night before. Too ashamed to go home, Vanessa had accepted Brooke’s offer to stay at hers. Given the girl’s inconsistent nature, Brooke spent her shower nervous about how Vanessa would react to waking up at her home. She was suddenly self-conscious of her room - why were the walls green? Why hadn’t she unpacked everything yet? Too enthralled in her panicked inner monologue, she failed to even notice Vanessa had woken up when she walked back into her room, clad only in a towel.

“Hey,” the girl squinted at her, seemingly unsure of what to say, her eyes doing a once-over of Brooke’s body.

In contrast to the day they had brushed their teeth together, Vanessa looked more like the sea hag than a Disney princess upon waking - her black hair wild and matted around her, her eyes baggy and bloodshot. Yet to Brooke she still looked breathtaking.

“Hi,” Brooke responded before perching on the sofa built into the alcove of her window.

“Thanks for the t-shirt,” Vanessa looked down at herself then back at Brooke, “and the bed, and everything I guess.”

“You’d do the same if you thought someone was alone in the cold without anywhere to go,” Brooke responded, trying to act nonchalant and hide her blatant feelings for the girl.

“Hmm,” Vanessa responded, clearly unsure of whether or not she would.

“I’ll let you get yourself ready,” feel free to borrow anything Brooke said before grabbing some clothes and leaving to get ready herself.

***

“Come to practice tomorrow,” Vanessa stopped herself as she walked out of Brooke’s door, her guilt about the way she had treated the girl clearly playing on her mind.

“Why would I? I can’t cheer, remember?” Brooke watched the girl as she recited her dig from the night before, fascinated by the way her own jumper hung largely on Vanessa’s arms, just the tips of her fingers poking out the end.

“If we wanna do well we need the best people on our squad, and that just so happens to be you. I’ve had a bit of a reality check and it might not be in the way I’m familiar with but I can’t deny your talent,” Vanessa said. Although Brooke found it hard to read the girls face, she could tell in her tone that she meant it.

“I thought I was bankrupt,” Brooke grinned, her old competitive nature coming out of her as she played hard to get. “I’m sorry Vanessa but if you want me on your team you’re going to have to try a little bit harder than that.”

Clearly not used to that kind of reaction after offering someone a first class ticket to the popular table at R.A Charles, Vanessa stood still for a moment, processing what Brooke had said.

“I’ll see you on Monday,” Brooke added, making sure to emphasise the day of the week before closing the door on Vanessa and making her way to the window to watch her leave, catching a glimpse of the girl shaking her head and smirking before stomping down the garden path in her usual manner.

***

“So how’re things with Vanessa?” Brooke asked Jovan as they made their way into school the following Monday. Knowing she was potentially rubbing salt into the wounds, she had tried to not bring the subject up for five minutes and failed miserably, her intrigue about the girl once again getting the better of her.

“I haven’t spoken to her,” he responded, “Were just two boats sailing past each other at the minute. If she can’t deal with me speaking honestly to her then I’d rather not speak to her at all.”

“Yeah,” Brooke acknowledged him. Although she had seen the sting of Jovan’s words first hand and knew how deep they had cut Vanessa, she found herself understanding where her friend had come from and seeing his side of the argument whilst still emphasising with his sister. Although his approach was faulted and she didn’t agree with all of what he said, part of her admired Jovan’s brutal honesty, the way he stayed true to his authentic self and didn’t feel the need to shy away from topics others would deem unapproachable.

“I’m glad you went and made sure she was okay though. I knew she’d been such a bitch to you so it was a pretty solid thing for you to do for me. Like I said you’re way too good for her and her squad.”

And as much as Brooke wanted to believe him, she found herself still wanting to take up Vanessa’s offer. Not only did she want to spend more time with the girl who absorbed so much of her thought process but her muscles ached with a longing to dance, the thought of having a stable practice, routine and competition a distant utopia in her mind. She craved the release of endorphins, the rush of performing. At her old school everyone understood each other, they were all there for the same unified reason, everyone adhering to each other’s needs and abilities. Nothing like the wilderness of R.A Charles where everything was disjointed and uneven - the girls hunted in packs whilst the stragglers tried their hardest to keep up, eventually getting left behind to scarper with the prey. A lipstick jungle of pretty cheerleaders and resident weirdos, Brooke found herself stuck floating in the middle unsure of what to pursue, lost in the wasteland of the hallways.

Continuing their conversation until Brooke reached her locker, she made plans to meet Jovan at lunch before twisting her code to retrieve her work. She laughed to herself as she opened her locker to find a pristinely folded royal blue Amazons uniform laying across her books, along with a pair of matching spandex briefs. Her cheeks flushing red at the sight of the briefs, she looked around swiftly to make sure Jovan hadn’t seen her reaction to opening the locker. Upon regaining composure and further examination she realised there was a note left alongside the uniform. Brooke found herself once again turning crimson as she read Vanessa’s haphazard and emphasised scroll: “You’re a size 12, right? I think you’ll suit blue. Come to practice so I can find out if I’m right (which I always am) -V ;)”

***

If Brooke had set Vanessa a challenge when she told her she’d have to try harder then it had clearly been accepted. First, she found the uniform in her locker. Then she was called to the student reception in third period to receive what she’d been told was a bag left by her mom containing her gym clothes, opening it to find two blue pompons and another note from Vanessa. The straw that broke the camel’s back, however, came at lunchtime when she felt something ping the back of her head as she sat and ate with Jovan, turning around to see one of the signature scrunchies that the Amazons adorned on the floor - Vanessa sitting at the table behind her with a poker face even Lady Gaga wouldn’t be able to decipher. Quickly picking up the scrunchie and putting it around her wrist, Brooke wondered how far Vanessa would go to try and get her on the team.

“She’ll do anything so she doesn’t seem jealous now,” Jovan rolled his eyes at his sister’s antics, “God, imagine being that conscious about what other people think of you.”

“I don’t know, I think she might have just realised she was wrong,” Brooke watched Jovan’s face drop at her response. If a picture could paint a thousand words.

“Brooke, you’re not being serious, are you? I thought you were better than falling for that bullshit. She doesn’t care, she just wants to look good after I called her out. Please don’t tell me you’re gonna go.”

“I don’t know,” she looked at her friend, torn between her loyalty to him, the only person who had welcomed her with open arms at her school, and her longing to be on the team with Vanessa. She wasn’t easy, she didn’t want to go running back to the squad after such painstaking rejection but a part of her knew that if she didn’t she’d be miserable - always thinking about the greener grass she could have been dancing across.

Before Jovan could preach to her further, Brooke’s phone pinged with a text from an unknown number: “I think it’d go better in your hair than on your wrist, don’t you?”

A combination of fascinated and annoyed at the girl’s tone, Brooke’s cool demeanour was thrown out the window when she responded: “how did you even get my number!”

Making heavy eye contact from across the tables, Brooke shook her head at Vanessa, who simply tapped the side of her nose and winked as a result.

***

Although she hadn’t consciously made a decision about whether or not she would take Vanessa’s offer, Brooke found herself making her way to the gym at the end of the day, almost as if her legs were being controlled by her heart and not her brain. She figured just watching the cheerleaders wouldn’t hurt as she stood in the doorway and saw the group congregated through the glass panes. She watched them warm up, Vanessa leading the squad through stretches and exercises around the hall before going straight into stunts and basket tosses. Watching the petite girl be thrown in the air by friends - not an ounce of fear on her face, Brooke could only describe her as fierce and determined. Surverying the way she treated the team, Brooke could see why it was so important to her and started to better understand the fight she had witnessed at the weekend. Vanessa being captain wasn’t just some superficial title, she was their leader, they were all hungry for her approval as they performed. From her short time of exposure to the squad, Brooke could clearly see the hard work that Vanessa put in, more and more layers of her personality unfolding. She was one of those jawbreakers that changed colour and flavour the longer you kept it in your mouth - one second she’s sweet and fruity the next she’s a hot fireball sizzling your tongue. Brooke was mesmerised, even seeing some of her old self in the girl as she watched her burn the candle at both ends, pushing herself to the limit in training till sweat dripped down her forehead.

“Anyone else want a refill?”

Panic suddenly flared up in Brooke as she saw Vanessa making her way towards the exit with her water bottle. Before she could attempt to move away from the door, she once again made dead eye contact with the girl. She watched Vanessa’s face turn from surprised to amused, laughing to herself at the sight of Brooke watching all whilst still holding her gaze. Brooke quickly broke away the eye contact and looked at the floor; knowing full well that if she looked at the sultry girl anymore it would be clear to Vanessa that she wouldn’t hold back any of her desires or intentions.

“You know in the time you’ve spent watching from this door you would have already learned how to be a base, Brooke Lynn.” Something about her abrupt nature and failure to be coy reeling Brooke into her spell even further. As someone who thought about everything she ever said before it came out, someone who took the time to edit herself to perfection, she found herself so captivated by the way in which Vanessa held nothing back.

“Just Brooke,” she responded, still unable to make a decision about the squad.

“Well Just Brooke, you don’t have to join my squad if you don’t want to, I know I might have missed my chance. But something tells me you’re not really the kind of girl who watches from the sidelines.”

“You don’t know me,” Brooke responded, repeating the words Vanessa had stated to her that night they sat together on the park bench.

Twigging on to what Brook had done, Vanessa smiled: “I know you’re a great tumbler. And I know that if you weren’t really interested you wouldn’t be here.”

Before she could comprehend what was happening, Vanessa had already grabbed her wrist and started running into the gym with her, Brooke otherwise too focused on the way her skin combusted where the girl’s hand touched her, too indulged in her fantasy, not fully comprehending how she was now making her way over to the squad.

“Vanessa,” she whispered, once again looking into the girls deep dark eyes. Brooke found herself amazed at how panicked she had found herself getting since moving to Florida. The old her would have waltzed into the room no issue yet now she found her brain going into standby as she entered the group. In fact, she found herself doing that a lot around Vanessa. She was starting to think that her new streaks of nerves were to do with the girl in the neighbourhood rather than the neighbourhood itself.

“Everyone this is Brooke. She’s never cheered so we’re gonna have to teach her some pep, movements and yells but she’s got moves and she’s a fast learner,” Vanessa addressed the group, looking back at Brooke at her last words. Surprised at how nice she was being compared to the day of her audition and even the night they spend together on the bench, Brooke heard Jovan’s voice ringing in the back of her head, telling her how Vanessa was using Brooke so she didn’t seem jealous in front of her squad. At that moment, even if she was, Brooke didn’t care in the slightest.

“Brooke, meet the Amazons: Akeria, Silky, Jaren,” she pointed at one of the taller guys Brooke had met previously at the auditions, “Jay,” moving to the other boy she had met before. Going through the other girls in the squad, Brooke struggled to keep up with the names but recognised a few of the girls from sitting with the Amazons around the school.

“I want to re-run that cupie we did earlier,” Vanessa announced to the group after she finished introducing Brooke to everyone. The two boys and a girl that Vanessa had introduced as Monet stepped up and began to get into a formation before being stopped by the coach.

“Actually, I want Brooke as a base,” Vanessa looked at the girl who pulled a face in response.

“I don’t know about that Vanjie..” the taller boy, Jaren, trailed off, clearly not wanting to undermine his captain.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be able to,” Brooke pleaded with the girl.

“I trust you,” Vanessa gave another one of her subtle winks to Brooke before making her way over to the group which Brooke now joined.

“Just keep eye-contact with Jay,” Vanessa touched the back of Brooke’s head, pointing her in the right direction. There it was again - the sizzle that came with her touch. Brooke couldn’t focus, despite how badly she knew she had to. “When Jaren lifts me, move your hands so they hold my shoes. Like this,” Brooke wondered how she would be able to throw and catch the girl in the air when the simple contact between their arms was making her skin tingle. “Jaren will count down before you straighten up, and he’ll help you support my ankles. It’s easy once I’m up there, just push my ankles together, like you watched before. Then just keep your arms straight ready to catch me.”

Brooke was astonished at how quickly she had gone from watching at the doorway to performing a stunt with the Amazons. With Vanessa. Everyone’s eyes on her, she thought back to when she used to lift the younger girls at the academy, helping them practice and erase their nerves before they had to do it for real with the boys.

“Oh, and Brooke,” Vanessa looked at her one last time before they started, her demeanour similar to that of the first day she’d met her, flipping in the cafeteria and smirking in the kitchen. “Don’t drop me, yeah?”

Brooke didn’t need telling twice.

Running through the steps the way Vanessa had shown her, Brooke was surprised at how light the girl felt when she held her foot. Gripping tightly, she pushed up and Vanessa was soaring through the sky before she knew it. Her arms raised high ready to catch her Brooke watched as she hit all of her counts perfectly. Her hair, of course, didn’t depart one bit from her perfect ponytail. God, Brooke thought to herself, that girl was superhuman. Falling back down gracefully yet quickly, Brooke had never felt more relieved than when she felt the girls back against her arms.

“Think we’ll call it a wrap for tonight,” Vanessa announced to the group upon standing back up before turning to Brooke, “Welcome to the Amazons, Brooke Lynn.”

***

Sitting at home alone in one of her dad’s shirts and a pair of old bike shorts, Brooke was contemplating how she should tell Jovan she was a cheerleader. She highly doubted he’d believe her story about it “just happening” and if he did he would only call her naïve. Cautious of losing her only loyal friend at her new school, she was even debating the idea of just letting him see her in the uniform so she wouldn’t have to have the awkward conversation when the doorbell rang. Scared it was him and she’d have to fess up, she answered the door apprehensively, only finding his step-sister on the opposing side instead.

If Brooke had thought before that the cobalt of the uniforms had gone perfectly with Vanessa’s colouring like nothing else would, then she was most definitely wrong. She hadn’t even thought about red. Dressed in a short scarlet fringed playsuit with her dark hair pin straight down her back, she was the epitome of a sultriness. The playsuit cut with a deep V, Brooke could see a dash of glitter on Vanessa’s chest, accentuating her collarbone just that tad more. Red lips and nails to match, she was fully coordinated but not in an overdone “matchy-matchy” type of way. Brooke wanted to be her. And be with her.

“Hi,” Brooke said to the girl, realising she’d been stood gawking for way longer than was socially acceptable

“Get in, we’re going out,” Vanessa responded, motioning to the car pulled up outside Brooke’s garden - Silky and Akeria watching and waiting inside.

“Out?” Brooke exclaimed, looking down at what she was wearing.

“Yep,” Vanessa replied, walking towards the car before Brooke could even respond.

Quickly throwing on a pair of flats and catching up with the other girl’s high heeled strut, she shouted; “But I’m not dressed.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Vanessa laughed and got into the back of the car, scooting over to make room for Brooke.

Before Brooke could protest further, Vanessa pulled a scarf out of the seat pocket and tied it around her eyes.

“Welcome to the Amazon’s” she heard Silky laughing from the front seat.

***

After what felt like forever but was probably only around 10 minutes, the car came to a stop and the girls started to get out. Her hand moving to take her blindfold off, Brooke was stopped by Vanessa, “Not just yet,” she cackled, giving Brooke a hand out of the car. It was safe to say Brooke was still not and would probably never get used to the lingering that followed on her skin every time Vanessa touched her.

“Here,” the girl said, grabbing the two ends of Brooke’s shirt and tying them in a knot at her waist, “It could be worse.”

After being guided through a few sets of doors, Brooke immediately heard loud dance music and general chitter-chatter, feeling the lighting dim from outside of the blindfold.

Before she could begin to question where they were, someone made their way behind her and took away her blindfold. Before her stood the whole squad in the foyer of what seemed to be a club, dressed to the 9s and making her look subpar in her baggy shirt and cycling shorts.

“You didn’t think we’d get a new member and not celebrate, did you?” Akeria laughed as she handed Brooke the ID of a similar looking blonde girl to herself. Amazed at how quickly the girl had managed to find it, Brooke thanked her without questioning - if her first few weeks at R.A. Charles had taught her anything it was that the Amazon’s always got their way.

“You’re not hazing me, are you?” Brooke looked around the team with nervousness.

“Don’t be silly, that was just our way of having some fun with you,“ Silky responded, “Think of it as your last night of being a cheer-virgin. Pretty soon you’ll be a full-time athlete and have our name on your shoulders - take tonight to get drunk, let loose, get with some boys and get to know your squad.”

Setting herself a mental note to text her dad to say she was working on a project at Jovan’s and wouldn’t be back till late when his mom could give her a ride home. A pang of guilt hit Brooke at the thought of her friend being blissfully unaware he was being used as a cover for partying with the cheerleaders - god, he’d hate it.

“Don’t be worrying about school tomorrow, we’ve got that covered,” Vanessa winked, reminding Brooke of how she’d managed to not only get into her locker but call her to the principal’s office that day. What was ideation before was now as good as fact in Brooke’s mind - the girl was superhuman. “C’mon Brooke, first drinks on me.”

***

Although Silky had described the night as the last hurrah for Brooke, in reality, it was more of a first. So focused on ballet, she’d never really been out with her friends back home, but now that she had a glimpse into what she’d been missing she wondered why she hadn’t done this before.

The music was loud and reverberated in her ears as though it was inside of her - she let it take over her body as she swayed and swivelled to the beat, any reservations she’d had about her outfit and not fitting in out the window once she’d started to move. She was in her own element, abruptly knocked back to planet Earth when a boy she didn’t know came to talk to her.

“Wanna drink?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at Brooke.

“I’m fine thanks,” she responded. Firm but not rude. Always firm but not rude.

“Come a little closer love, I can’t hear you,” he grinned, placing his hands on Brooke’s back and drawing her in towards him.

Unsure of how to react and not used to being in this type of situation, Brooke’s body went into lockdown as she felt his hands move further down towards the hem of her shorts. She was lost at sea, her body cruelly unaware of how to swim.

“Hey babe,” a familiar voice sounded. There was the lifeboat that would take her to shore. “Is this guy bothering you?” Vanessa plucked the boys arms away from Brooke and placed her own around her. She was fire warming her up after the cold dip in the water.

“I was just asking if your friend wanted a drink,” he looked Vanessa up and down.

Despite being twice her size and most likely intimidating to everyone else in the room - Vanessa’s flame was not one that was easily put out.

“Well, my girlfriend’s not thirsty,” she responded, emphasizing the “girl” before pressing her lips onto Brooke’s in a way that seemed so natural yet completely exceptional at the same time. The temperature had reached its peak. Closing her eyes, she felt the other girls mouth move ever-so-slightly, sending heat waves up and down every inch of Brooke’s body. Where she’d normally pass these type of sensations off to the light buzz of the alcohol - at that moment Brooke was fully sober and present. For once her mind was no longer forward planning, always one step ahead. She was fully there in the moment - ready to punch the clock, break the dawn and stay forever - just herself and Vanessa, in their own little ring of fire. Immediately thrown, it took Brooke sometime before her brain caught up with her body when Vanessa pulled away and turned back to the boy.

“Sorry,” he muttered insincerely before walking away.

Even if Brooke had held a script in front of her, telling her exactly what to say, she would still have been lost for words, staring dumbfoundedly at Vanessa.

“Close one!” Vanessa looked at Brooke, “Good job you’ve got friends like me to help you, eh? Let’s get you home.”

Silently following the other girls lead as they exited the club, that line kept running through Brooke’s head. Friends like me. Were they friends? Brooke had spent the past few weeks intimidated in her presence. Jovan had warned her, told her not to fall for Vanessa’s ploy. Yet here she was being protected by her, being kissed by her, only a matter of days after being rejected by her. Never in her life had she been so simultaneously uplifted and sole destroyed at someone calling her a friend. She was friends with Vanessa - the girl she’d spent the past two weeks trying to be around - she should have been happy. But something still played on her mind - she knew now for sure that she wanted to be more than friends with her. The feelings Brooke had tried to brush off as a school girl’s desire to be liked by the queen bee were now wholeheartedly and undoubtedly a crush - smacking her right in the face. Jovan’s cautions running around her head, Brooke knew at that moment that no matter how hard she got burned, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from playing with the fire in front of her.

[theparanormalperiodical]

The Ultimate Guide To A Dickensian Christmas - Including Horror And Christmas Movies To Stream, And How To Vibe Like A Victorian

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Christmas is complicated.

Okay, fine, it might not quite be the iconic Austen quote you had to memorise for GCSE English, but the reality still stands: bringing family and friends together - mixed with the threat of debt, and drenched in alcohol - can often make for a seriously difficult, disgusting Christmas pudding.

And that’s if you're lucky enough to spend the season with friends or family!

This year I’m in the former position. But whether it’s visiting my grandmother in her care home, or trying not to have a panic attack about my driving test, Christmas has kinda been cancelled in my house.

Bah humbug?

But as a spiritualist, I know that Christmas is a particularly special time for sceptics and believers alike. That’s because sharing a ghost story or two used to feature as a centre-piece to a Victorian Christmas. 

And as your fave paranormal blogger, you know I couldn’t resist making the season that much  spookier.

So, this year, I’m ditching the annual Love, Actually stream on a dodgy website (even if there is a £3 wrinkle trick doctors don’t want me to know about).This year, I’m not going to watch Last Christmas at the cinema (I mean, I wouldn’t anyway, I have some self-respect, christ). And this year, I ain’t dreading seeing my awkward relatives make outdated comments about Caitlyn Jenner..

I’m going back to basics. I’m going to the paranormal past. I’m having my own goddamn Dickensian Christmas.

Now, who’s with me?!

This post is going to take you through the backstory to the Victorian’s spooky Christmas’, the Dickensian traditions that need to be on your to-do list (don’t worry, being in poverty is not a requirement), and all the music and movies you need to stream for the season.

From horror to holiday, I’ve got a list of the best movies on Netflix and Amazon Prime - and links to the trailers. And yes, I’ve checked it twice. 

In true Dickensian fashion, I’ve even brought together the resources to help you find charitable causes you can volunteer for or donate to. 

But before we dive in, I just wanted to say this:

I can make a joke about an urban legend, and I can dissect a horror film like it’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - but I’m not here to joke about something as difficult as Christmas. Even though I’ve always loved the premise of a Dickensian Christmas giving me an excuse to watch a horror film over a mince pie, I wanted to provide a resource for people that aren’t as lucky as me. 

For those that are alone, for those that are struggling financially in the festive season, and for those in need, I wanted to make sure that whoever you are - and whatever you have - you can have a very Merry Christmas. 

And no - it doesn’t mean you have to watch The Exorcist on Christmas Day! I’ve included non-horror traditions and Christmas films, too, so everyone can have their own dosage of Christmas cheer. 

Now, let’s get spooky!

Why Did The Victorians Tell Ghost Stories At Christmas?

Ghosts, spirits, and demons.

All three make frequent cameos on this blog. But there is no doubt about it: the Victorian era was far more terrifying than any ghost story I post as a Spook Of the Day. Industrialisation’s mass poverty and the hold of colonialism ever-tightening on the world both go far beyond the plot of any film featured in my fave genre. 

Yet aside from the racism, sexism, and just, well, general shitness, there is one aspect of Victorian Britain that sticks out to me:

They shared ghost stories at Christmas. 

It all starts with this bloke called Charles Dickens. All English speakers will be know this classic author, and will probably know about one of his most celebrated works - A Christmas Carol. 

Dickens centres this novel around this lad, Scrooge. Well, I say lad - less get-yer-tits-out, more fuck-the-poor-and-fuck-christmas-too. As a result of his rude ways regarding one of his employees and his attitude towards Jesus’ birthday, he is haunted by three different ghosts that explore his past, his present, and his future. 

I mean, it’s obviously pretty damn spooky. 

But beyond Dickens confirming the spooky side to a Victorian Christmas, creepiness at Crimbo is actually quite common! And that’s because most major religious holidays coincide with pagan celebrations. This time, that’s the Winter Solstice. 

In specific terms, the Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year. The sun’s path hits the southernmost position, and then begins to move north, making the days longer. In less scientific terms - and rather more spiritual ones - winter suggested a time of death or ageing. Whether it’s embodied by the symbol of The Crone, or by the forecasted lack of food in the bleak months to come, this was clearly considered a time when the lines between the living and dead were blurred. 

This is reflected in the celebrations of the solstice - death features prominently, with ceremonial slaughters taking centre stage. Yet aside from the interest in this depressing topic is the interest in what happens after death. Iranian, Germanic, and Celtic traditions all focus on evil spirits that might once again return to our plain. In fact, believers make a point of staying up to avoid meeting such a spirit!

Given the close links developed between winter and Christmas, some Pagans even used to celebrate it on the solstice, merging the traditions.

And that’s where our obsession with ghost stories on Jesus’ birthday begins. 

So, when you cut out binging on Quality Street, and watching yet another attempt at a christmas special hit the TV, you’re left with family discussion. Team that with the growing interest in spiritualism during the Victorian period, and we arrive at the paranormal pastime that dominated a Dickensian Christmas.

The Films You Need To Watch For A Dickensian Christmas

So we know that a good ol’ ghost story is the go-to for a Dickensian Crimbo. Question is, how do you actually find these stories?

Well. 

You could get lost in your favourite paranormal blog *hair flip*... You could fall down a reddit rabbit hole… or you could sit yo’ ass down and watch yo’self a horror film. 

“But, @thespookiestllama, can’t you just share ghost stories with fellow friends and family?”

Of course you can! But if - like me - your family has a revulsion to discussing the supernatural, or your spending this one alone, tapping ‘play’ on Amazon Prime and scoffing an entire box of Lindt is the best way to celebrate the season. 

So, to make finding these flicks that much easier, I’ve compiled a list of the best horror films to stream on both Netflix and Amazon Prime (in the UK) - fit with the trailers for each. Simply take your pick, and get Dickensian

Feeling a smidge more festive? Don’t fancy watching some kid throw up pea soup whilst your basting the turkey? 

(I mean, it’ll put you off sprouts for life.)

Here’s a list of films - and the trailers - that are less horrifying, and more ho-ho-ho!

Netflix

Cheesy Christmas (S)Hits

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oEAwuC-AyM

The Princess Switch (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W24IK7YJ4fo

A Christmas Prince (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG4Fbj1B1bY 

Christmas Inheritance (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4STcvndzbE 

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JtwROpSVWc 

Films About Dickensian Christmas

The Man Who Invented Christmas (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx3ctBjG6yI

Dickensian (Tv Series)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U57l3XUKZP4 

Family Friendly Flicks

Elliot The Littlest Reindeer (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viUFB3Oitnk

Rise Of The Guardians (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OxDZKordaM

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

Klaus (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taE3PwurhYM

Comedies

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

A Bad Mom’s Christmas (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJdNdMOblaM

Christmas With The Kranks (2004)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTzyGuB9V6c

Holiday Rush (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2U6diYTnxA

Bad Santa (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQvaoRScND4

Amazon Prime

Family Friendly Films

Arthur Christmas (2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tk-WZSqIGQ

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

Nativity 3 (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OyV2xSakI0

Comedies

The Night Before (2015)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShIAH_G-Iuw

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

Nativity 3 (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OyV2xSakI0

Four Christmases (2008)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v0Rbf5xI9o

Love The Coopers (2015)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TSX_0rwPNc

The Holiday (2006)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDi5zH18vxU

Love Actually (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOS-HMiVejo

Elf (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a54yC1etmVc

Nativity Rocks (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBmHMl7qjzQ

Mixed Nuts (1994)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwBG2CXDXcc

Films About Dickensian Christmas

A Christmas Carol (1970)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99BfCytGEGY

A Christmas Carol (2009)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ3lr3urgDU

Scrooged (1988)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ajwSBuozVs

The Classics

Love Actually (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOS-HMiVejo

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr6N_hZyBCk

Die Hard (1988)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaJuwKCmJbY

Elf (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a54yC1etmVc

The Dickensian Christmas Playlist You Need To Listen To

Hands up if you work retail.

Keep your hands up if you also hate retail.

(I also have a foot in the air to confirm my dislike for working a Sainsbury’s till.)

Chances are, this same group has faced what all employees dread: Christmas. Why? Because whilst your earning minimum wage on your tedious tasks, you’re also being tortured via Christmas No. 1.

All the shops play is the same loop of the same christmas songs.

And on top of that you’re trying to fend off customers claiming they are entitled to the meal deal discount when they haven’t picked the meal deal  discounts items cause it’s the red ticket items only and the crisps they’ve got are Kettle like who are they kidding Kettle crisps are the Waitrose of lunchtime snacks how would this be discountable.

*Breathe*

You can see how it can make Christmas, well, crap.

Are you tired of Mariah? Are you sick of Slade? And are you really simply having a wonderful christmas time? Me neither.

It’s time to take things Dickensian:

No points are going for guessing that the Victorians didn’t pull out their bluetooth speakers when they were having a post-supper singalong. Instead, carolling on the streets and going door-to-door was their alternative to hitting shuffle on your fave streaming site.

(Who knows - Jay Z could be reading this!)

The most popular carols sung and played by musicians in the Victorian era included:

O Come All Ye Faithful, Once In Royal David’s City, See Amid The Winter’s Snow, O Little Town Of Bethlehem, and Away In A Manger. 

So, I’ve brought together a variety of versions of these songs authentic to the era. 

That means there’s no Mariah Carey “whistletones” piercing through the awkward silences of christmas dinner, and no Destiny’s Child squeezing a festive classic into an anti-feminist box.

(And that’s because the the Victorian songs are already infused with their own special brand of sexism...)

The spotify playlist

And Finally, The Dickensian Christmas Traditions You Need To Try

To some, Christmas means peace on earth, and goodwill to all men.

To others, Christmas means capitalism driving the innocent into debt. 

However you view the festive season, one thing is for sure: each and every tradition filling up your dinner table or lighting up your tree started with the Victorians. 

Many historians point to Queen Victoria, herself - but don’t worry, not all traditions require a regal budget. The Christmas tree was the most iconic feature brought to Victorian Britain, plaguing us with dropped pine needles since the 19th century!

Christmas cards also began to be sent and shared, and were even crafted by pauper and prince alike. In fact, by the 1880s, 11.5 million cards bringing seasonal cheer to mailboxes across the countries were created. 

Another tradition birthed by the 19th century was gift giving. 

But before you clutch your wallet for dear life, the presents passed between families and friends were small and simple. Trinkets, fruits, nuts, and sweets were hung on the tree due to the minimalist size of time gone-by.

So yes, Cliff Richards was right. 

Speaking of food, mince pies - made from actual meat - were a popular treat eaten during this time, as was Turkey as a part of a grand feast shared among family and friends.

Don’t have the budget for this binge?

No time to trinket-the-tree?

No matter; the Victorians only had one thing in mind. Okay, aside from the desire to support the empire as it snatched innocent victims and territories…

And that was family and charity.

Never read A Christmas Carol? Chances are you won’t know the iconic ending to this iconic book. The final moments of the novel see Scrooge waltzing down the street, struggling under a huge turkey meant for an employee who was humbled by poverty. 

Together they eat and enjoy a magnificent feast!

Yet despite the image evoked of this old man trying not to buckle under the sheer size of the table’s centrepiece, it's not actually about the turkey. It's about giving to others, and being together. 

“God bless us everyone!” - Tiny Tim’s famous line from the book

You don’t need a healthy bank account to have a merry Christmas, nor do you need to accoutrements to prove it’s the festive season. In fact, you don’t even need family or friends around you to celebrate Christmas.

Giving to others is the true meaning of a Dickensian Christmas.

Its for that reason that I’ve brought together a few links to help you find places to volunteer this Christmas, and charities you can support (UK):

To help you find volunteering opportunities near you:

https://do-it.org/channels/volunteer-at-christmas 

A guide to the best places to volunteer this christmas

https://money.howstuffworks.com/economics/volunteer/opportunities/volunteering-on-christmas1.htm 

So - Are You Ready To Do Things Dickensian?

Are you hunkering down with a hot chocolate to check out La Llorona? 

Or are you about to press play on Love, Actually, instead?

Be sure to hit follow for more spooktastic stuff - and a spooky fact every damn day!

[riding-alpacas]

The definition of wind

Let's see what Google says when you search for a definition of wind:

Wind is the perceptible natural movement of the air, especially in the form of a current of air blowing from a particular direction.

My definition so far has been something like this:

Wind is when your clothes are flapping in the air and it's generally harder to move forward.

Now, after hiking the O circuit, this is my new definition:

Wind is when rain covers detach from high-quality backpacks, rain jackets rip apart, people blow over like sandwich boards and experienced hikers crawl on all fours in a desperate effort to move a little forward.

And whilst I've literally been blown away in the last 8 days, figuratively I'm not.

Let's start with a look at a map. The O circuit and the W trek are multi-day hikes through the Torres del Paine National Park. Most people do the popular W trek which usually takes 3 to 4 days and can be walked in both directions. The W trek is also part of the bigger O circuit which can only be walked in anti-clockwise direction due to the windy John Gardner Pass. The O circuit usually takes between 7 and 10 days and is considered to be a bit less crowded due to a limited number of permitted hikers in the Northern section.

How the O and the W are connected

When researching the O circuit (or "the O") I found lots of different descriptions, but most of them included words like "challenging", "demanding", "rewarding", "remote" and "breathtaking". Obviously this caught my attention and soon I was in the complicated process of trying to book campsites along the trail. This turned out to be quite difficult and the fact that the camps are managed by three different organisations that don't talk to each other didn't make it any easier. Then I stumbled upon an alluring offer: Pay someone to book all campsites for you, have the tents already set up and be fed in the mountain huts (or refugios) along the way. Given that I wanted to enjoy Mother Nature as much as possible, I like minimalistic travelling and I had some cash at hand, I decided to take up that offer. The only downside was that the first part of the hike would be guided and I expected that this would cause some issues due to different walking paces. At the same time it's always nice to have someone that you can ask questions about flora, fauna and the history of the park.

Fast forward I found myself in a great hostel in Puerto Natales - the closest town to Torres del Paine - packing my 24 litre daypack for the big trip. Some people found it hard to believe that I'd do the O with this little backpack, even though I didn't have to carry a tent and food. And everybody else from our group had at least a 50 litre pack. But I can already spoil that it worked perfectly fine. Seriously, you simply don't need so much stuff, you just need the right stuff. This is all I took:

Sleeping bag (5° and I should have taken a warmer one)

2 breathable shirts as a base layer (wearing one)

Fleece jacket

Insulated jacket

One pair of convertible, water-resistant hiking pants (wearing)

2 pairs of Merino wool socks, one thick, one thin (wearing one)

2 pairs of Merino wool undies (wearing one)

Rain jacket

Windbreaker

Beanie

Bush hat

Buff (one of my most valuable pieces of gear, it's so ridiculously versatile)

Waterproof gloves

Camera

A big, big power bank

Kindle

Sunnies

Toothbrush

Toothpaste

Deodorant

Small soap bar

Small towel

Insulin pens

Glucometer

Glucose tablets

A few protein bars

Headlamp

Inflatable solar lantern

Flip flops

Water bottle

Steripen

The key is to have clothes that are quick-drying, breathable and have as much Merino in it as possible. People might be grossed out by the thought of wearing the same underwear for multiple days but it really isn't a problem. Merino wool is antibacterial and it takes ages for it to smell, it is perfectly fine.

Let's move on to the actual hike: Our group consisted of five people and our infectiously cheerful guide Debbie. The other four were Gail & Alisha from England and Julie-Dodd & Marie-Laurie from the States. Walking pace was definitely an issue from day one. Gail and I were the fastest walkers, Alisha a little in between, Julie-Dodd and Marie-Laurie were the slowest. We never really got into the same rhythm as a group which turned things into a bit of a stop-and-go activity for me. But as I said before: I expected this and could live with it.

The first three days were generally a bit unspectacular. The trail was fairly flat and we mostly walked along some beautiful coloured rivers & lakes through picturesque valleys. Things got a little more interesting on day three when we started to see a few glaciers in the distance which gave us a first taste of the famous Southern Patagonian Ice Field. Wheatherwise it was fairly sunny on day one but it became gradually more cloudy and windy. We also had a few periods of rain and the mornings were quite cold, so all layers of our clothing were used all the time.

Paine River

Paine River

Mountains that separate Chile and Argentina

Did I mention that I like a good waterfall?

Lago Dickson

The wind was particularly strong on the lookouts. To our amusement, one Canadian couple put it quite nicely when we got to a point where I didn't want to pull out my camera because I was concerned the wind would take it. The girl was yelling to the guy:

This is not a good place to make a sandwich.

This line became a running gag for the rest of the trip.

At the end of day three we got up close to a glacier for the first time and the wind picked up again noticeably. Debbie told us that the next day would be quite challenging: Fierce winds and lots of rain was forecasted and there was a high chance that the John Gardner Pass - which we were supposed to cross - could be closed. She suggested to start early. Not only did we have to hike 1,200 metres up, we also had to hike about 22 kilometres to our next camp.

Glacier Los Perros

The host of the refugio overslept, so after a very sparse breakfast we hit the trail at about 5am. It already started raining and we spent the first hour walking in the dark through a muddy forrest before getting to an exposed & rocky area above the tree line. The rain turned into a mix of hail and snow and the wind pushed us all to the limits. It was here that the first rain covers flew off and people started being blown over. Gail, Alisha and I had to take quite a few breaks to wait for the other two to catch up. As a result we became very cold very quickly and Debbie noticed that we simply can't continue as a group. Even though I had my full waterproof layer on, most of my clothes were soaked in water - the rain was simply too much. The only thing that was dry were my hands, so it looks like my gloves are my most reliable piece of gear (a rather unresearched purchase from Amazon about a year ago). My feet were soaking wet and due to the wind chill became so cold that I couldn't feel my toes anymore.

Debbie sent us three ahead and it definitely helped that we didn't have to stop anymore. I wouldn't go so far to say that we were warm, we were just less cold. When we reached the top plateau of the pass we battled a constant stream of 100 km/h wind. It. Was. Unreal. And surely not a good place to make a sandwich...

Every step became a hard push - this wasn't walking anymore, this was a full-on pulling rope exercise. Alisha fell on her knees, all of us were walking bending over trying to give the wind as less surface as possible. Reaching the main pillar I climbed it with a victorious feeling but this thing was far from over. Getting to the other side we had an astonishing view of the Southern Patagonian Ice Field but we had absolutely no time to enjoy it or even take a little photo. I didn't feel my feet anymore and had to start running downhill for about 10 to 15 minutes in an effort to get warm. I reached some shelter behind some bush, the bush turned back into forest, we were finally much more protected and it became a lot warmer now. My toes came back to life and for the first time we were able to properly speak to each other again. There was a sense of achievement in the air, we hugged each other, we felt like we went through something together. At this point Alisha noticed that my rain jacket wasn't in as good spirits as I was: The hood and parts of the upper back got totally ripped apart. The irony is that I thought about replacing it before the trip but I figured it would do it for one more year.

What's left of my rain jacket

For the remainder of the walk, the massive Glacier Grey stayed on our right and we finally had some time to stop and snap some pictures. We had a rest at a ranger station and waited for the others to catch up. When they arrived, they told us their story and apparently they had to tuck their arms into each other and crawl over the pass. Later we heard that the pass was indeed closed a few hours later and the wind gusts were around 120 km/h. Needless to say that this was the bloody highlight of the whole trip. Unfortunately we don't have any photos from this epic crossing, so I really hope these memories will stay in my head for quite some time and Alzheimer's won't get me too early.

Southern Patagonian Ice Field

Glacier Grey

To our luck the rain started easing up after the pass and the rest of the day was quite cruisy. We crossed a few nice suspension bridges before reaching our camp for the night. You could clearly feel that we now joined the W trek. It was quite busy and the refugio even had a little café with couches and stuff. I wanted to treat myself with a hot chocolate and realised that all my cash that I took with me was gone. I only used a little bit for a hot drink on day one, after that I didn't take my wallet out again. Which meant that someone must have gotten into my tent on one of the other campsites and stolen my cash. I have to say that it was also partly my own fault. Whenever I arrived at my tent, I completely unpacked my bag and spread everything out for easy access. If somebody opened the tent, it would have been a five second job to take out the money. It is a shame though - the back area of the park wasn't crazy busy and it felt a bit like we were all a big family moving from camp to camp. Debbie was also shocked and it turned out that some other people from other groups had some of their stuff stolen, too. I was way too trusting.

This crazy day was also our last day with a guide: The next morning Debbie would leave us and each of us would continue at our own pace.

Debbie drew a little comic for me as a farewell

For day 5 I didn't have any high expectations. On paper it did look like a rest day with only 11 kilometres to walk and not many highlights on the map. But it turned out to be quite interesting. Most of the trail led through exposed areas which I like a lot more than forest. There were wonderful views of Lake Grey and the surrounding mountains but it was still super windy and I couldn't stay long on any of the many many lookouts.

Glacier and Lago Grey

Bye bye Glacier Grey

Hello Lake Pehoe

Day 6 was another big day with more than 20 kilometres to hike. It was the middle part of the "W": French Valley. The first section was quite steep and rocky but the reward was worth it. Reaching the first lookout I had a wonderful view of the valley to the left and the French Glacier to the right. Moving on, the trail became less steep and I barely felt that I was still going up. The second lookout offered another stunning view of the mountains further back. What a lovely little side trip.

Beautiful mountains everywhere

Lake Pehoe

Los Cuernos

French Glacier

Close to Mirador Británico

French Valley

On my way back down I stumbled upon Alisha who started the day a bit earlier than I. The one word that comes to mind when having to describe her condition would be kaputt. She had very sore muscles (or a muscle hangover as Germans would say) and as it turned out later also had two gigantic blisters on her heels. I decided to walk with her until we would reach camp trying to support her mentally as much as possible. The five minutes strategy from Snatch didn't work very well by the way.

To our surprise the trail was leading down to one of these wonderful glacial lakes and we even walked along its pebbly beach for a few metres. We ended at my favourite campsite of the trek (Los Cuernos). It was very close to shore, the showers were fantastic and the buildings quite rustic with great food (the portions were way too small though). Ironically I did not sleep very well at all that night. The wind picked up again in the afternoon and strong gusts woke me up again and again. At times I thought the tent would take off and I'd fly to the Torres. When we walked past the lake earlier, the wind was actually whirling up water which almost looked like little tornadoes. Fascinating to see.

Nice pebbles

A bit of wind

I have to say a few more words about the water (again). I'm now at a point where I would say that the water here is the best water I ever drank in my entire life. Usually I like to add a little bit of flavour when I drink plain water but here I just couldn't get enough of it. If there is one thing that I will miss most about this place it is the ability to just go to one of these natural taps and drink this wonderful water. My Steripen was only used a couple of times when I knew that there were lots of horses in the area, other than that I never had to treat it at all.

One of the many natural taps

The seventh day was another rest day with only 11 kilometres to walk. Gail and I decided to walk it together and for the majority of the time the trail was just parallel to Lake Nordenskjöld. Towards the end we took a turn at another lake that was named after my second-last car (Inge) before getting back to where it all started about a week ago.

Lake Nordenskjöld

There were a few mountains around

More Lake Nordensköld

The last day was reserved for the hike up to the towers that the park is so famous for. I was hoping that we'd have a clear morning, in which case I would have started in the middle of the night to see the Torres at sunrise - unfortunately the forecast said it would be a cloudy morning, so I rejected that idea. It was supposed to clear up during the day though. A lot of people do this hike as a day hike due to its proximity to the main entrance of the park. I wanted to at least avoid these crowds, so I started two hours before they arrived, hoping for some solitude. It kind of worked. There were already quite a few people on the trail when I made my way up but it was a lot less compared to the masses of people I encountered on my way back. And the forecast was actually true: When I arrived at the base of the towers, it was still a bit cloudy but when I left, I managed to snap a photo of all three towers not being surrounded by clouds. The whole way down it was finally super sunny and I soaked up the much needed sunbeams like a sponge. The towers itself were absolutely breathtaking and I highly enjoyed just sitting there, starring at them for two hours. As you might sense there actually weren't that many jaw-dropping moments during the hike as I originally hoped for, but this was definitely one of them.

The famous towers

On the way back

I guess the first bus has arrived

Beautiful water

What a lovely last day it was

All in all I am a little torn about the O. My expectations were definitely a lot higher in terms of everything. I expected it to be a lot more challenging but most days were actually quite cruisy. I also expected it to be a lot more remote - in reality you would never have to wait longer than 5 to 10 minutes until you'd see another human being, even on the back side. Another expectation I had was more wow moments. Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely beautiful and this is complaining on a very high level but I was very rarely blown away by what I saw. Would I do it again? Probably not. Was it still worth it? I think so.

To wrap it up, I quickly wanted to list my top positive surprises and top disappointments.

Top 3 positive surprises:

I fell in love with glaciers

Walking along the beach of Lake Nordenskjöld on the way to Los Cuernos

The hot chocolate at Camp Serón was the bomb

Top 3 disappointments:

Apart from the John Gardner Pass it wasn't very challenging at all (and that part was only challenging due to the weather)

Overall there were too many people

My cash was stolen

Next I will go back to El Calafate in Argentina and hike on the Perito Moreno Glacier on my birthday. After that I will go up North and spend some time in San Carlos de Bariloche which apparently looks like Switzerland and also has amazing chocolate. I will surely put that statement to a test.

[rathertoofondofbooks]

This week I’ve shared my Reading Bingo post, my runner ups for books of the year, my favourite fiction of 2019 and my favourite nonfiction of 2019. Today it’s time to look back over my reading in 2019! I’ve used a spreadsheet for the last couple of years to track my reading, alongside Goodreads, and I love being able to see the breakdown of what I was reading over the year.

My Goodreads goal for 2019 was 200 books… I’m still not sure how it happened but in 2019 I read 375 books in total, which is the most books I’ve ever read in twelve months! I don’t expect to ever reach this number again but it has been wonderful to read so many books!

The longest book I read in 2019 was George Eliot’s Middlemarch – my edition had 923 pages! The shortest book I read was a recent read – The Night Before Christmas by Clement C. Moore and had just 32 pages. I read quite a few longer books in 2019 but then over Christmas I read all my favourite festive reads which are short so that brought my page average down a little. I still averaged 345 pages per book though which I’m delighted about. It shows that overall I haven’t been reading short books just to attain a goal! According to Goodreads I read 127,454 pages in total in 2019!

  The above picture shows all of my four and five star reads from 2019. It’s lovely to have read so many great books over a year. I have rated some books lower than that but I just wanted to show the books that I’ve really loved.

  Alongside Goodreads I also track my reading on a spreadsheet and I do love seeing all my stats for the year.

Out of the 375 books I read in 2019 274 were by women and 94 were by men. The rest were co-authored by male and female authors. I don’t intentionally seek out books by female authors but ever since I’ve been tracking my reading on a spreadsheet it always works out that I’ve read more by women than men. I’m okay with this though and just find it interesting to note it.

I read fairly steadily through the year but April was a quieter month on the reading front, I’m not sure why. Then August was full of books and I had an incredible reading month!

I’m really pleased with the mix of genres that I read in 2019. It was definitely a year where I was very drawn to thrillers and I didn’t read as much nonfiction as I would have liked but overall I’m happy with the spread of genres my reading took.

I’m intrigued by the diversity of my reading and a little disappointed that I didn’t read more that was diverse. Having said that almost half of my reading counted as diverse and that is something! In 2020 I definitely want to read more about experiences outside of my own so this is something I will focus on a bit more in my reading.

The above pie chart shows the break down of where the books I read in 2019 were from. I made a real effort in the final quarter of last year to catch up on reading as many ARCs as I could so I’m really happy that the chart shows that half of my reading over the year were books from publishers directly or from NetGalley.

Alongside the above pie chart it seems right to share this one which shows what percentage of books I read where acquired in 2019 and which had been on my TBR for longer. It worked out that I read 238 of the books that I acquired in 2019 and 125 books that had been on my TBR before the start of the year. I also re-read 12 books last year. I did have quite a few ARCs that I’d owned since before the start of last year so I was really pleased to get those read and reviewed before the end of the year.

This chart shows the breakdown of where I acquired my books from in 2019. I wanted to share this chart really to show that whilst I am very lucky to receive books from publishers I do actually buy the majority of my books. I know Amazon is a problematic place to buy books but the vast majority of books I read are on my Kindle so it’s just the way it is for me. I joined my local library in the summer and whilst I can’t really use the actual library for borrowing books (the building isn’t accessible enough for me) I do love the BorrowBox app where I am now borrowing loads of audio books. I’m sure the percentage of borrowed books will increase in 2020!

I lost all control of my TBR in 2019 and gave up tracking it on my blog. I did still track it on my spreadsheet though so the above images show what happened…! I hoped to reduce my TBR a little each month but instead I increased it in all but one month. Oops! My TBR is now at 2608 (and this is books that I already own, it doesn’t include wish list books) so I have a lot of reading to do!

In terms of my blog I’ve had my best year in terms of number of posts. I managed to write 237 blog posts, which is the most I’ve ever managed to publish in a year. I feel like I finally got back to a place where I’m reviewing books quite soon after I read them rather than letting them build up and because of that I’m enjoying blogging so much more. I hope I can keep that up in 2020 and I’d also like to try and review every book that I read, even if it’s only a mini review.

On the 1st January 2019 I had the most ever views on my blog in a 24 hour period so that was a lovely way to start last year. I shared my favourite books of 2018 on that day and it was fab to share the book love and have people share their favourite books with me.

I was also thrilled beyond words to get an email from Reedsy in early October telling me that I’d made their list of Top 100 book bloggers for 2019. I’d been struggling a little with blogging when I got that email and it really gave me a boost to keep going and now I’m really back in the swing of things!

So all in all it’s been a wonderful year of reading for me in 2019 and I’m really excited to see what 2020 has in store.  I’m still pondering on what my plans are for blogging and reading in 2020 so I may write a post about that another day.

I hope 2019 was a fabulous reading year for you too! Happy New Year! 🙂

      My 2019 Reading in Statistics! This week I've shared my Reading Bingo post, my runner ups for books of the year…

[savagelyrefined]

Getting Back To Normal… Ish

It's been nearly 3 weeks since I failed my driving test and had my first full on public panic attack in about a decade. I considered these to be 2 heavy knocks to my self confidence and they pushed me into something of a spiral. After a particularly rough week, the combination of anxiety, depression and insomnia (largely caused by the anxiety and depression) had left me emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted and I made the decision to do something about it. 

I used my remaining annual leave to break up early for the Christmas period, headed to the local chemist to get some over the counter sleeping tablets and ordered  some St. John's Wort herbal tea bags (St. John's Wort is supposed to be good for anxiety and insomnia, the tea tasted pretty rank and I'm not sure if it actually helped, but I thought it was worth a try.) from Amazon. Whilst the tea and tablets didn't really help me to sleep through the whole night, they did make it considerably easier to fall asleep in the first place and that was a step in the right direction. The combination of not being at work and sleeping a little better helped me to break the spiral and get into a better frame of mind. 

To cut a long story short, I was able to force myself to have another couple of driving lessons, rebook my practical and even manage to take advantage of a last minute cancellation to get the test in earlier than I otherwise would. Thankfully this time I passed, I don't even want to think about where I'd be mentally if I'd failed, and, although I don't have a car yet, that is one less thing for me to worry about. 

My anxiety is still pretty high, I'm still struggling to get a good night's sleep and I'm still not coping with being out in public in general, but the depression has more or less receded back to my normal manageable doldrum, I'm starting to feel more like, what I've come to accept as, myself again.

[staticid-blog]

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[alwaysmarilynmonroe]

Whenever I hear the news that a new Marilyn book is to be released, I’m mostly filled with joy and excitement, as well as slight trepidation around the accuracy and respect given towards my favourite lady. However, if the Author is Michelle Morgan, aka in my opinion, the best Marilyn writer, I know one hundred percent that there’s truly nothing for me to worry about.

Michelle has recently released her latest book on Marilyn, which takes a refreshingly new focus beyond the image of the legend and on the actress herself. The Girl overall stays between the pivotal years 1954 to 1956 and tells the true story of Marilyn taking control of her career by breaking through the male dominated Studio Systems and proving to the world she was so much more than just a pretty face.

Thanks to Michelle and Running Press Publishers, I had the pleasure of receiving a media copy to read and review before the release date and as I expected, I was definitely far from disappointed. The introduction alone was truly memorable and it’s so refreshing to read how much Michelle herself loves and cares for Marilyn, writing with respect and sensitivity, whilst staying completely unbiased. Furthermore, she makes sure to portray the three dimensional person Marilyn was, conveying her many struggles and successes, dedicated to preserving the truth and staying far away from the gossip and sensationalism that sadly so often is unfairly connected to our Star. Plus, I love how witty the title is; any super Marilyn fan will know that The Girl is in fact Marilyn’s character name in The Seven Year Itch (1955) and writer George Axelrod actually had this to say about the unnamed lady.

“I have been asked if there is any symbolic significance in the fact that the Girl has no name. The truth of the matter is that I could never think of a name for her that seemed exactly right, that really fit the girl I had in mind. I think if I were writing the play today, I might be tempted to call the Girl Marilyn.”

Even though Marilyn lived for just 36 years, it’s undeniable the amount she achieved in such a short lifetime and for any Marilyn fan or someone who’s interested in Hollywood, Feminism or the 1950s, this book is simply a must have for your Library. I personally feel Michelle has done such a good job with accuracy and creating a detailed perspective that she could write many volumes focusing on each year of Marilyn’s life! In fact, I really hope she does.

At just over 300 pages long, this book is just right – not too long and intense and not too short and lacking detail. Even though it doesn’t document Marilyn’s full story, through focusing on these such important years, you arguably learn more about Marilyn than you would in a standard biography. However, if you’re wanting to read more and well, who could blame you, there’s always Michelle’s other books on Marilyn and I recommend them because in my opinion, they are the best – respectful, honest and sincere.

Out of Marilyn’s 30 Films, three are discussed in The Girl and those are the following; The Seven Year Itch (1955), Bus Stop (1956) and The Prince and The Showgirl (1957). Even though this is due to the specific time period documented in Marilyn’s life, I think it’s wonderful for someone who may know Marilyn only for her image and Icon Status. I say this because the three discussed throughout the book show her versatility and strength as an artist – something she continually dreamed to be known and appreciated for.

The Girl consists of a Preface, ten Chapters, an Epilogue, selected Bibliography and Source Notes, with between 30-40 beautiful photos of Marilyn featured throughout the book. The colour theme consists of red white and gold and I absolutely adore the cover photo chosen; a 1955 Marilyn wearing a Red Sweater by Milton Greene. It’s refreshing to see a different perspective of Marilyn shown yet still being undoubtedly, The Star. Plus, it’s lovely both a photo from 1955 was used and one by Milton – someone so pivotal in believing in Marilyn as a human being and helping her change the course of her Career.

Each Chapter Title conveys many important words that should continually be used to describe Marilyn, some may say I’m biased and I would never deny that. However, you cannot be biased about the truth and each of these titles contain important moments and achievements Marilyn herself made happen, through sheer strength and determination. Although beautiful and talented, she was never viewed as anything but a Blonde Bombshell, a Sex Goddess who added glamour to the Silver Screen and ultimately Marilyn had all the odds against her throughout her whole life. Yet, through The Girl, Michelle shows that even the Underdog can prove to everyone that not only was she Beautiful, she was also strong, passionate, intelligent and believed that she deserved better.

I can without a doubt say that The Girl is one of my favourite Marilyn books and definitely a staple in my Marilyn Book Collection – 167 and counting! At £19.99 this isn’t the cheapest one available, but quality and authenticity are priceless and this is something that will be treasured and kept in your library forever. Even though I’m fortunate enough to have an early Media Copy, I will of course be purchasing one for myself! You can never have enough good Marilyn books and this will have pride of place in my Marilyn book shelf, yes, she really does have her own library.

I can’t say enough good things about The Girl and Michelle herself, I’ve been fortunate enough to know this wonderful lady for quite a few years and I know that if Marilyn was here she would be honoured to have such a thoughtful and authentic writer tell her incredibly brave and progressive story. I think it’s fair to say that I know a lot about Marilyn and with Michelle’s books there’s always unique, special anecdotes and trivia that I continue to discover. Ultimately, go to amazon or your local bookstore and start reading The Girl, I can assure you any stereotypical views you may have of Marilyn will quickly vanish and you’ll be astounded and in awe of what an incredible person she really was.

The Girl is available to Pre-Order from Amazon UK and will be released on May 31st and is out in the USA now!

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meganmonroes@icloud.com

The Girl: Marilyn Monroe, The Seven Year Itch and the Birth of an Unlikely Feminist by Michelle Morgan; Book Review. Whenever I hear the news that a new Marilyn book is to be released, I'm mostly filled with joy and excitement, as well as slight trepidation around the accuracy and respect given towards my favourite lady.

[pinelimelife]

Black Limes and Pineapple Pirates

Actually aptly named the title after ‘Black Sails’ as I finally finished watching it today. Which also pushed todays blog back to a later time slot sadly. Since I am so tired now my energy to put together a full Sunday blog has diminished and the call from my bed has begun... Don’t worry sweet bed... for soon... zzzzz... zzzz... zzz.  It is a Film, Song/Album, Game and TV Series day today. However, I don’t have the energy right now to do all 4 and come up with ratings and stuff, so today I will review whilst it’s fresh on my mind ‘Black Sails’ and why I love it, and where my interest in Pirates came from.  So my love for the pirates of old started mostly a while back. I can’t remember if it was truly before my first ‘pirate party’ event that I attended, or whether it came from that day. My first pirate party event was years ago, I want to say 2011. Quite sure the Korn concert I met my pirate loving friends at was the 8th October 2010 which would make 2011 the year. From that party I became known as Captain Pineapple, but not because the Captain loves his pineapples, it’s more that the Pineapples control him (Obviously this is part of the fun of the story, not true in any way). If you’ve ever watched the Red Dwarf episode Quarantine and saw Mr Flibble you’d know what I meant. Actually before I took the name Captain Pineapple, it was the Pineapple King. The idea that the Captain could hear the psychotic thoughts of a pineapple just sounded fun.  I eventually started making a game based on pirates, a 2D game, a big game. But I eventually yielded to it, it was too much and I couldn’t do it by myself anymore. That and other pirate stuff boomed and Assassins Creed Black Flag actually caused me to lose interest in making a game because I’d neither the skill, nor confidence really. My skills these days are a lot better, but my passion for designing games is minimal and I tend to prefer art and music over it. The amount of nights I sacrificed, the people I pushed away, and the friends I lost because of the hours and hours I dedicated to coding. It was mentally affecting me. Anyway, back to where I was heading with this.  During that time of making the game I spent a lot of time, almost constantly reading about pirates, real pirates. I read up about who they are, what they were, and why they were. Who was the most feared, the least feared. I loved reading about it. I was doing research. Whose my favourite? Well although he wasn’t the most dangerous, he was definitely one of the most feared and that is Edward Teach ‘Blackbeard’. The way he met his end was brutal, he survived five shots and apparently 20 stabbings during an ambush. Another seaman cut his throat. But the fact he survived all of that in one battle makes the man, in my eyes worthly of being named one of the most feared. His sheer size alone was intimidating enough, without carrying 6 pistols. They would have been heavy pistols as well.  Over the years I learned to take on the name of ‘Captain Pineapple’ I took it to other events, local comic cons, other dress ups. The ‘Pine’ in Pinelime would make a lot more sense to anyone who had no idea. I nearly left it all behind at one point, i felt like I was losing passion and interest. That was re-ignited by watching ‘Black Sails’, it was also re-ignited by another party I went to where I over did it with too much rum.

TV Show: Black Sails I’d been pestered by friends for a while to watch this show. I often have to be forced to watch something, no matter how cool and interesting it is. I did start season 1 of black sails a long while ago and stopped when my subscription to Amazon ended, I became too lazy then to continue. Recently I was re-sparked into watching it and once I did I was unstoppable.  What did I think? I loved every moment of it, it’s a brilliant concuction of both fact and fiction in one. Treasure Island meets real pirates in a dark and gritty story. It shows how John Silver becomes Long John Silver, who Captain flint was an many other exciting things if you’re a fan of treasure island of course.  Favourite Character? With all the changes happening during the series it was hard to pick, but the one I was always eager to watch was Captain Silver, and Captain Flint. I also loved Captain Vane, his was a more interesting growth because I hated him from the beginning and learnt to appreciate him in the end.  Favourite Season? I want to say Seasons 3 and 4 definitely.  Would I watch it again? Honestly... Yes, I probably would later down the line.  Would I recommend? Definitely, if your into that sort of thing, or even just like Period dramas.  My Rating: 9 (I would love to give it a 10, but I don’t like giving 10′s I prefer 9s.) IMDB Rating: 8.3 Well, It’s late, I’m tired. So I bid you all a good night. Don’t let the Black Limes bite! Lime