#having a lot of thoughts for someone who's brain rotted away
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total-drama-brainrot · 11 months ago
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you guys ever hear a new song and frantically conceptualise a whole AU around it, starring your current Main Blorbo? or is that just me?
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milflewis · 2 years ago
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do you think writers get enough credit and notes and stuff on here?
on tumblr dot com? lol nearly died laffin there thank u
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kaeyeahsworld · 4 months ago
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The Right Choice
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content warning: mild abusive relationship, thoughts of cheating (but none actually) scumbag ex, mild violence, regret, big dick toji, eating out, female reader, fingering, orgasm, 18+, angst bcs I love writing it.
A/N: another tattoo artist Toji brain rot. Not proof read or edited pls don’t come after me, come after or for toji which ever works for u :D
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It had been an entire year of your scumbag boyfriend setting up his own tattoo parlour right along side Toji’s.
Although in the initial days, your boyfriend’s place had done better compared to Toji’s simply because he was loud and obnoxious enough about his work, but when ultimately it came to finesse in the art Toji remained undefeated.
Toji’s calm but awkward manner with the clients made him an instant favourite in stark contrast to your boyfriend who only cared about the bucks.
With the tattoo parlours being almost beside each other, you often bumped into him. The first few times were just awkward but prolonged eye contacts, that went ahead to subtle smiles and Toji’s crinkling eyes, which at last proceeded to an awkward conversation.
“I see you around a lot. You work here?” He somehow mustered up the courage to ask you that, praying to the saints he hadn’t come off as creepy or overbearing.
Toji could never forget the first time he had laid his eyes upon you. It was late in the night while he was closing down, when he heard some voracious laughter coming off from Zack’s parlour. On the usual, he wouldn’t give two fucks if someone was even dying on Zack’s side but when curiosity got the best of him, he turned around and glimpsed at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life.
Only for the rose coloured glass to be broken when he got to know that you were dating Zack. The most narcissistic piece of douche Toji had ever come across.
He initially thought you might have been the same and somehow kept convincing himself to keep away, but none of that worked when you guys had started conversing.
You had met Zack at a concert and not knowing better started dating him and the year since then had been..well, bleak to say the least.
Zack was beyond your comprehension. He was everything you wished you were- loud, confident but the more you came closer to his world, the more distant you felt from him. The Zack that doted on you in the beginning and made out sloppily with this stinky breath was nowhere to be found these days. The Zack that was all up for late night video calls was now the same one who would leave you on delivered for 24 hours straight. Or should you say a different one. Still, you were a stubborn little one. Refusing to accept the reality of the situation.
To the add to the whole thing, was the guilt that was brought upon by your little crush on Toji. You would never cheat on your guy, but god Toji felt like he was everything you deserved and more.
His intense lingering gazes, his soft smiles, his gentle demeanour but the strength that had come with it. It gave you all the right shivers.
Ironically, the first time you guys spoke to each other was when you were trying to escape your boyfriend who was fighting with a customer about the design, when you had accidentally bumped into Toji.
Noticing the inked beauty peaking out on his forearm, you immediately realised that this was your favourite artists design.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah” Toji looked at you, trying to not let his heart eyes show,
“Is your tattoo Miyazaki’s work?” This question genuinely surprised Toji and gosh he prayed to the heavens to warn him if this is the part where he falls head over heels for you.
“Ya know him?”
“OF COURSE I DO??” You had screamed and almost pounced on his arm to admire the man’s work.
Toji had wondered then how your eyes would light up if you got to know he had trained under the said artist.
Fast forward past a few more of “accidental” bumps into each other, and some lighthearted conversations about everything and nothing under the sun, in a few moments and both of you could sense the undeniable attraction you had felt towards each other.
But neither of you ever crossed the line. You were a woman, taken, and he was a man who respected your choices no matter how strange or..shitty.
You couldn’t help but notice how different Toji was around you and when you were together with Zack.
The kind demeanour he held was immediately replaced by indifference whenever he would see you with your boyfriend who would pass on a snarky reply just to irk the said man.
Toji could easily give Zack 2 broken legs with how big he was, but one look into your doe eyes and he couldn’t even bring himself to look in your direction except throwing a finger off to the other guy.
But nothing could keep you away from each other especially during those lonely wistful nights.
You lying in your bed with your fuck ass boyfriend wasted somewhere, fingers plunging deep into your warm cunt and a heart full of regret, guilt and most of it all, lust for Toji. Nights that went away calling out his name in small whispers imagining his large hands that would envelope you and touch in all the right ways nobody ever could. Making you see stars and kissing you through the bliss.
Toji was no better. Stroking his cock in anguish, lusting after you like a beast in heat. Your plump lips, your sexy fucking hips that he would dip kisses all over, if you were his, your luscious skin that he would worship and mark, you were going to be the death of him.
But when the nights slipped away and dawn broke and as in when in you guys bumped into each other, it was the same all over. Hidden glances and lazy longing that would never translate into something more.
Until it had.
You shouldn’t have come to the parlour today. Things had been rocky between you and Zack for a few weeks now.
He had been smoking up all the money and refusing to take even the simplest of clients just out of sheer audacity and worst of all, paid no heed to your words more than ever.
Going to the parlour, at 2 am in the night after getting a call about the ruckus your boyfriend had caused and setting the damn curtains on fire, you immediately ran over only to come across the most drunk and high Zack had ever been, amidst scattered flames.
You knew from your experience to be better than to be around him when he intoxicated but the situation at hand was not helping. If only you hadn’t invested money out of blind stupidity into his tattoo parlour, maybe you would have been spared this ordeal today.
“Drag this bastard away miss OR we are gonna call the cops on y’all” said a stranger trying to control him.
“I’m so sorry about this”
“WHO…THE FUCK..lem..me gooo you little..bitch..”
“Baby listen to me, you aren’t in the right mind let’s get out of here..”
Zack had always been rough with you but never violent but it seemed like that was about to change tonight, when he grabbed you by your shirt collar and harshly dragged you towards him.
”ZACK! LET..ME GO!”
“Fuck youu..you” but before he could bring his face towards you, came a dangerous hit that probably bore into the drunkard’s skull.
“Hands away you sick fuck.” said the seething voice.
It was Toji. More than the pain, all you could think about was the relief that had washed over you on seeing Toji’ eyes that were ablaze with fury.
Before you could even say anything, he grabbed your wrist towards his motorbike and plopping helmets on both of you, drove away to your address.
He drove like the man he was at the moment- fast, angry and menacing. You clutched onto his waist for you dear life and that was the only thing, that calmed Toji a little bit.
You were here, he was here with you and you were safe and that was all he needed.
But in the half an hour that he drove both of you in utter silence, the events of the night slowly came crashing back to you.
Longing that turned into regret and that had now taken its ugly form of shame. Shame for who you were and who you had chosen to be with.
Sensing your hasty breaths on his back, Toji slowly parked his bike near the sea shore.
Even with unbearable longing like his, Toji had made it a point to never touch you. He would only do that when you were his completely mind, body and soul.
Tonight was the first time and he didn’t like it. You couldn’t even bring yourself to face Toji and when he slowly grabbed your chin to look at him, the sight before him tore his heart apart.
Tears welled up in your eyes and dripped down your soft cheeks like pearls, if Toji was a god he would be raging a war by now. But he was a mere mortal and all he could do was engulf you into him. Arms all around, caging you and protecting you, while you stained his jacket with your sobbing.
After the night had passed and somehow returning to your apartment with his help, you didn’t leave the confines of it for almost 2 weeks. Except for the occasional knocks from the said man or a get well soon bouquet, he had not spoken a word more to you, just as you hadn’t.
Both of you knew it was your decision in the end.
Almost as a sign, you got the news from your friends that Zack had ran away the same night as the police tried to catch a hold of him. Nobody knew where to and neither of them cared enough to find out.
The last checkpoint was having a conversation with Toji.
As you slowly approached his parlour, the ever so familiar but distant end of the tattoo street, one end of which was burnt ashes and the other end bustling with less customers compared to the usual, you awkwardly knocked on the clean glass door.
“Here inside” said Toji’s low baritone from the room within, as you noticed him deeply zoned in into his work on an old man and mistaking you for a customer.
You decided to wait outside in the waiting hall. It felt only right. It was only right to apologise for whatever had happened.
He had waited for you so patiently always, a steady wall that you had come to lean on unknowingly through the past few months and he never once asked anything in return. You loved him and you would wait for him just as long.
After being done and billing up the customer half an hour later, Toji peeked into the waiting hall to see who had checked in while he was working when his heart raced at the sight.
Here you were, in a soft white dress that had flown gently till your knees and straps falling agonisingly over your shoulder, looking like the sweetest angel and not to forget, with a small flower in hand. A delicate little rose and upon seeing Toji in all his black top and pants glory your heart welled up just as much as.
“Toji…I didn’t want to disturb you..so”
“You should have. You can always disturb me you know that right?”
He wanted to hug her. Touch her face, kiss her locks and smooch her lips. His restraint was a tight string waiting to break.
“Why are you here, Y/N?” His voice came off tighter than usual. With tears in your eyes and slowly offering him the small flower you found on your way here, you asked him
“Toji, can I get a tattoo?”
This took him by surprise. He didn’t know what he was expecting but tattooing you was definitely last on his list. Heaving a sigh, he gently took your fingers and the flower and moved you into the room with all his equipment.
Nobody had given him flowers before. The simple gesture had set in an ache for your being that he couldn’t ever define even if he wanted to.
If you wanted to do it his way, so be it.
“Where do you want your tattoo miss? Based on that I can tell you how painful—“
“My lower back”
“What—“ before he could even say anything, you were stripping down from your dress, locking the door while Toji’s mind was reeling.
2 weeks you had disappeared and now you were here in front of him , half naked.
“You favourite work of Miyazaki. Can you ink it on me Toji?” Of course he would. He could never say no to you. Not when you looked so sweet, sitting right in his chair looking up at him with heart eyes. Legs on display all for him. In nothing but soft lace panties.
“Fuck…darling, what are you doing to me..” he said as he slowly grabbed a delicate stencil of one of his favourite art, a pattern of the moon, the cherry blossoms and a ripple through it all.
Toji was an excellent artist but he never had to work with a raging boner before. His pants were bursting to the sight in front of him, you in a relaxed state ready to be marked. Almost a dream.
“Are you sure baby?”
“Yes. But one thing before that.”
“Hm?”
“Can you kiss me Toji?”
That was the last straw and before you could even say anything, Toji was at your lips, grabbing you by the back of your head and devouring you. You deserved slow and gentle and Toji swore to himself he would take all his time with you, but not at this moment.
Months worth of pent up lust and more so, love and the result of it, was kisses that took your breath away. Nipping away at your lower lip gently, as you opened your mouth he plunged his warm tongue into you, making you moan in ecstacy.
“Hmpph— To..jii..hm!” “Gosh baby do you know how many times I have dreamt of doing this to you huh? Your luscious fucking lips that you keep tinting up with that gloss..fuck..”
Littering kisses all around your neck, under your ears, licking across your collar bones, your whimpers were honey to his ears. Slowly wrapping your hands around his nape, you whispered to his lips
“Take me Toji. Make me yours, please.”
That was all you had to say.
Kissing you harder than ever, Toji grabbed your waist. “Turned around for me baby. Let me take care of you” with your back arching and on all fours on his chair, he ripped at your panties. You were a dripping mess and Toji was so close to coming in his pants like a fucking teenager.
“Toji..wait…it’s messy down there..stop—“
“Tell me girl. Did that fucker ever eat you out?” He asked venomously, slowly slipping in a finger into your sopping hole
“No-ughmm!!- he said it was too dir..ty..” his finger was so different from yours. Long and thick. If a finger alone was so delicious, you were sure you woud go crazy once his cock was in you.
“Proved himself to be a fucking moron once again. Well, you are all mine now. So let me treat your delicious cunt the right way baby yea?”
“Hmm—ahh!!” Dipping his face into your wet folds and antogonizingly licking up along them, eating you out from the back was Toji’s personal heaven. His nose bumping right into your sensitive clit and making you wetter by the second and now 2 of his fingers in your cunt, prodding you in all the right places sending shudders down your spine.
“Ride my face baby. Find your rhythm and make yourself feel good” Toji said and as he literally sucked and slurped at your folds and clit like a man starved. Spitting and licking and slightly pinching on your clit, in a few minutes, you were seeing stars that would normally take you so long.
“I’m cominggg Toji—!!!” Crying out and slumping over the chair.
Toji couldn’t get enough of you though. Marking you all over your back, letting red bruises blossom like petals, leaving you a sputtering mess.
He needed more. He needed you to cry his name out. Turning you around, he latched his lips onto your breast this time with a finger brushing on your clit lightly.
The wet muscle languidly brushing over your sensitive buds, teasing and biting and soothing it up again, you were so lost in pleasure, sure you would come from his attention to your breast alone.
“Faster toji..please..” “On your clit baby? Like this?” His gentle brushes had now turned into precise strokes and never in recent times had your dreamt of coming twice so quickly.
“Ahh!! Fuck!! Just like….that..I can’t! M gonna——cum..”
“Come for me good girl, let it all out… there ya go” and with the knot uncoiling, you came harder than ever.
“Such a good fucking girl for me” he whispered sinfully as he locked your lips in a gentle peck, making you ride out your high.
Little did Toji know that his sweet girl was minx in bed, all ready with her cunt clenching around for his cock. And he was all ready to give her the entire world, and of course his cock too.
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A/N: everytime I wrote Zack my brain kept going ‘gongaga’ send help.
A/N: just edited it a lil bit I’m so sorry for the all the typos 😭
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thegnomelord · 10 months ago
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i took 357191027r6392936446322736432947372 psychic damage from the Makarov fic so you gotta write reader being rescued, healed, rehabilitated and loved by the task force. imagine them teaching reader to be their own person or letting him top without any commands or punishments. reader would be whining like a puppy who doesn't know what it's doing and would be so cute and fearful looking for reasurance when fucking into a task force member it would be so cute
lol idk dude. I was intending to do the fic as a one off to satisfy my puplay kink but it's now started to rot my brain even more lol. If I did continue it, I don't know if I'd want a happy ending or an angsty one (omfg imagine going through all the healing and rehab and experiencing love only for one word from Makarov to have you going back to him without question)
So tell me ya'll if you want me to turn the one shot into a longer fic lol, but for now here's some headcannons, ideas/ whatever and some porn
CW:NSFW, rough anal, Simon x reader with Price watching, dom/sub.
I can't imagine Hound would be happy about the 'rescue' considering everything and definitely would be resistant to rehab (Hound biting ppl and getting muzzled lol) that dogheaded asinine stubbornness coming to bite him in the ass. I headcannon Hound to have already been violent when he was under Price's command but Price kept Hound in check(if anyone's seen that young ghost and price comic with him being compared to a fighting dog it's kinda like that).
Makarov didn't need to do much and just played into the aggressive tendency to make Hound as they are now. The more violent the reaction hound would make, the more attention and praise he'd get. Also I'm just a sucker for dog like characters that are unhinged. That have no moral compass except for the one they're loyal to and will do whatever they ask.
So the task force members would have their hands full with Hound that's basically an aggressive fighting dog taken straight out of the pit. Also I'm still thinking whether the 141 would try to steer Hound away from the pup/dog like mentality Makarov conditioned them into, or if they would try to redirect it by calling Hound 'pup, boy' etc, instead of 'dog' like Makarov did.
Also the grief Price would feel to see the man he thought was dead turned into that would break his heart. I don't know if I'd want him to crack down on trying to rehab hound, or let a lot of things slide because he's scared of fucking you up more.
But also like rehabed fighting dogs turn out to be the sweetest animals and Hound just going from this 'I will bite your throat out' to just a gentle giant that's just happy to be able to touch or hug someone without needed permission. . . but he can still bite a throat out.
Also I 1000% swear that Makarov's a whore and would have trained reader to have enough stamina to fuck him all night long so the task force would get pounded into next year lol.
This is questionable cannon and non-confirmed lol you just got me brain rotting with the cute pup part and this came out. Rough and quick.
CW:NSFW
You feel like you will die; heat burns through your veins, sweat crawls down your skin and makes your hair stick to your forehead. Your hands grip Simon's bruised hips, holding them up for him as you pound into him. "Please-" You barely manage a small whimper, hiding your face in Simon's shoulder.
Simon's body quivers beneath you, limp and boneless, a wet hole for you to use. He's as sweaty as you, rough grunts and half-formed swears leaping from his lips every time your hips meet his ass in a bruising thrust. He's the closest to you in size, albeit still smaller, which makes it easier for him to take your size than the others. His insides are a sweltering heat around your cock, fucked into a loose sloppy hole that would gape if you pulled out, muscles still doing their best to squeeze you every time you nail his prostate.
It makes you feel ashamed how long it took you to find it. Mounting anyone but Makarov feels wrong, you're not sure how fast or how deep to go, this current rough pace making Simon the most vocal since you began. You feel him cum again, walls clenching tightly for the first time in a while as you force him into spurting what's left in his empty balls.
"Pl- sir, I- please, please," You can't help but hiccup, your nails leaving crescent bruises in his skin as you just pound him through his orgasm. It's his fourth one.
"What's wrong son?" Price's words barely get through the fog of need in your skull, more little whimpers splitting from your lips. "Don't you want to let go?" Tears blurry your vision, you can barely see his face from where he's resting Simon's head in his lap.
You can't cum. Your balls are so full they feel like they'll explode any second, cock throbbing to finally shoot your load but no matter how harshly you thrust into the willing hole beneath you. It feels like those times Makarov would put a cock ring on you, but worse, now it's your own body refusing to give you release. You haven't earned it.
"Please-" You repeat, because that's the best your mind can come up with, your hips stuttering as overstimulation stabs your nervous system like a knife. "I-please, fuck- I can't." You force out, forcing yourself to return to the punishing pace, your pelvis starting to go numb like it would a few hours into Makarov using you as a living dildo.
Price's fingers are disgustingly gentle as they curl into your sweaty hair, making you look up at him with soft pressure on your scalp. There's no bite to his touch, no pain, it's too good for a thing like you.
You'll thank what god exists that Price seemingly understands your problem, "Oh, son." You hate the hint of sorrow in his tone, you hate yourself more for how it makes your heart pound in your ears. "Here, let me" He whispers, his other hand sliding down to your naked neck.
The lack of any collars around your neck still disgusts you every waking moment, still makes you feel wrong, bad dog. His fingers wrap around your throat. They're too loose to be a proper collar, but it lets you breathe easier, his palm warm and big enough to completely cover the 'V.M' tattooed on your skin.
"Go on, that's a good boy." He whispers, "Cum for us." Price orders, kissing you so softly it disgusts you, like heaven wrapped in thorns.
You feel fresh tears spill down your tears as the dam not letting you cum is finally torn down. You hiccup your 'thank you sir's against his lips as you spill inside Simon. You can just distantly hear Simon groan as you dump your cum into his sloppy hole, muscles weakly fluttering around your cock as you roll your hips, fucking your cum deeper into him, just the act of cumming hurting almost as much as being denied, your balls aching with every spurt of cum.
You collapse on Simon, pushing the breath out of his lungs, as boneless as him. You don't struggle when Price rolls you to your side, your cock slipping out. Cum and lube gushes out from his hole like a firehose, flooding the small space between you two, his rim red and irritated, muscles weakly fluttering around nothing as they try to close.
You try to thank him but you slur your words into his skin, feeling the muscles in his abdomen quiver as you huddle closer and wrap your arms around him, your chest pressed flush to his back. You expect him to pull away, Makarov hated being vulnerable like this longer than he needed, but all Simon does is grunt and tip his head back so you can hide your face in the space between his shoulder and neck.
"You olright Simon?" Price asks, brushing a hand through your sweaty hair for a few seconds before you feel him softly wiping away your spend from you two.
"Fuck," Simon breathes out, voice scratchy and rough. "Are we sure Makarov's human?" His hand reaches up to scratch your scalp as you kiss one of the numerous bite marks you left on him. His skin is a canvass of black and blue bruises, your bite marks starting to clot across his body. "Shit, I can't feel my legs."
His words feel like a slap in the face, and you don't notice how you let out a small whimper, your hold tightening. This is it, you'll have to let him go soon, he'll order you to leave like Makarov always did.
"None of that son." Price's voice is calm in your ear, rubbing soothing circles between your shoulder blades. "You did good."
Simon hums, his fingers running lower to scruff you, "Mhm, yeah," His words are slurred, exhaustion weighing on both of you. "Best snog I've ever had." He grumbles, and you don't doubt he won't admit it in the morning, but for the moment, as you feel yourself slowly drift off to sleep, you let yourself enjoy the praise, the warmth of human touch, the care you can feel in both of them.
This is starting to feel nice.
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slut4thebroken · 9 months ago
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Second Chances
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Emmett x reader
Summary | Emmett takes advantage of your kindness and hospitality.
Warnings | Smut, 18+, non con, emotional manipulation, praise, guilt tripping, very large age gap, painful sex, first time, breeding, crying, bro has hella trauma fr.
Words | 2.5 k
Notes | Direct result of my Emmett brain rot (Also two fics in one day??🫣)
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
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“Here you go.” You smiled, handing the steaming mug to him. 
“Thanks.” His voice was quiet as he took it from you and held it in his lap. 
“What’s your name?” You asked, sitting down next to him, hoping you weren’t intruding too much. He paused for a moment, seemingly debating if he actually wanted to make conversation with you and give you “personal” information about himself. 
“Emmett.” He finally said. 
You gave him your name and watched as his eyes dragged down your body, taking in every inch of you. With a blush, you cleared your throat and looked away for a moment to gather your thoughts. “Are you sure you don’t need anything else? Are you warm enough?” He looked over you again with a neutral expression that made you squirm a little. 
“Actually I’m still a little cold. Is there anywhere I could go that’s inside?” 
“Oh- yes! Of course.” You said quickly as you got to your feet. “My parents will be out of the house for another couple of hours so you can use some extra blankets and maybe lay down on the couch for a while.” You smiled. He didn’t return the expression as he stood up and followed you for a couple minutes until you finally walked up a porch to the front door. 
“Okay, let me just grab another blanket and then I’ll start the fire place as well.” You ran off to retrieve a blanket and when you came back, he was sitting on the couch looking around the room. 
He gave you a small “thank you” after you handed him the blanket and you could feel his eyes on you as you walked forward, then kneeled down in front of the fireplace. “You live here with your parents?” He suddenly asked, almost startling you. 
“Yeah. Since there’s three of us, we got our own place. A lot of other people had to share.” He hummed in acknowledgment and you finished up with starting the fire before turning around to face him, finding his eyes already on you. “Can I get you anything else?” 
“This is more than enough.” He said softly. 
“Okay… Well, I’ll let you rest. If you’re hungry I can try to make something?” You offered with a kind smile. 
“Actually I’d rather talk with you.” 
“Oh-” You said, eyes widening in surprise— He didn’t seem like the kind of man who would want to make small talk with a stranger. “Are you sure?” 
“Yes. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone like this.” You hesitantly got up and sat down next to him on the couch. 
“Like what?” You asked curiously. 
“So loud… and about things other than survival.” His voice was still quiet, but this time there was a bit of a solemn undertone to it. 
“Oh.” You bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, but not really knowing how to approach this. “You never… had anyone to talk to about normal stuff? Surely it wasn’t all survival.” You can’t even imagine what he must have experienced. When he suddenly looked away and clenched his jaw, you realized that you might’ve over stepped. “I’m sorry, that was— I shouldn't have pried…”
“It’s fine. I had a family, but they’re gone now.” He still wasn’t looking at you. Taking one last sip from the mug, he leaned forward, then placed it on the coffee table. 
“God, I- I’m so sorry.” You said quietly. 
“It’s silly, but… I miss being able to hug them— to hug people.” He finally looked at you again, this time with a sad smile. “I remember the last time I felt someone’s touch… 11 weeks ago.” That must have been when his family died…
“Would you like a hug?” You offered nervously, hoping you weren’t too bold again. He studied you for another moment before nodding. 
“That would be really nice.” Once you had his approval, you moved closer and wrapped your arms around him, letting him do the same even though his wet clothes were starting to dampen yours. He let out a quiet breath and relaxed into the embrace. “Thank you… I’ve been so lonely.” He whispered, making you frown. 
“You won’t have to be anymore. The people here are very kind, you’ll make plenty of friends.” 
“I can tell.” His voice was a little amused now and he pulled back just enough to look at you. “If it’s not too much trouble… could I hug you a little more?” 
“Of course.” You said instantly, then let out a startled sound when he lifted you onto his lap so you were straddling his thighs. You thought he meant more as in for a longer period of time, not.. this…
“Thank you.” He said again, pulling you closer and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You were stiff for a few seconds, still trying to process this new development, but finally you relaxed into him and hugged him a little tighter. “I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like.” He whispered against your neck. 
“To hug?” You wondered, trying to understand. 
“Yes. But also the gentle touch of a woman.” A blush took over your face and you cleared your throat awkwardly. “You know, my wife… I was with her when she passed.” He said quietly. You were already dreading where this was going, not sure you could handle learning about any more of the pain he’s suffered since the start of everything. “I had a really hard time understanding and accepting this… but she said she wanted me to move on. To be happy again.” One of his arms stayed wrapped around your upper body, but the other moved a little lower, pulling you closer so your hips were also flush with his. 
“Emmett…” You said quietly, trying to pull away, but he just tightened his grip and you finally felt the bulge pressed up against your heat. You tried not to gasp at the realization.
“Shh… It’s okay. I just— You look so much like her…” You had no idea what to say. You’ve never been in a position like this before. “I’m sorry.” He suddenly pulled away and you stared down at him in confusion. “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve this. Not after everything I’ve done— everything I didn’t do.” Your lips parted, but no words could come out for a moment.  
“You deserve feeling safe and cared for. Everything you had to do was for the sake of staying alive.” At least you assumed it was. Honestly you have no idea what he’s done. “And it’s not your fault— what happened to your family. You did everything you could.” You said softly and he started shaking his head. “Yes. You can’t blame yourself, Emmett. Maybe that’s why your wife said that to you before she passed… because she knew how much you’d struggle with it.” 
“You remind me of her so much.” He said through a choked sob, making you freeze. You had no idea he’d get so emotional. Not knowing what else to do, you just pulled him back into the hug and held him tightly. “That’s exactly the kind of response she would’ve given.” He croaked. In response, you just hugged him even tighter. 
“It’s okay…” You whispered. “I’m so sorry, Emmett. No one deserves to go through what you have.” 
“It hurts.” He cried, making your heart ache for him. 
“Tell me what you need. How can I help?” You said quickly, not wanting to see him like this any longer. 
“Can I— can I kiss you?”
“What?!” You choked out, making him pull back to look at you. The tear tracks on his cheeks were far less than what you thought they’d be, but maybe they just wiped off on your dress. 
“Please. I miss her so much and… god you look exactly like her.” He whispered, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. 
“I…” You’ve never kissed anyone before. Are you really about to give it away to a stranger you just met less than an hour ago? “Emmett…”
“I know I don’t deserve it— I know. But I just… it hurts so bad, I can’t take it.” He all but whimpered, making your hesitant expression melt into something softer and more sympathetic. 
“…I’ve never kissed anyone before.” You admitted quietly and you swore his eyes darkened, but it was too hard to really tell. 
“I know I’m asking far too much of you— I know I don’t deserve your kindness,” 
“Stop saying things like that.” You frowned. “You deserve kindness, you deserve to feel loved, just like everyone else.” He stared at you for a moment, his eyes still glossy with tears, then he was suddenly leaning forward and capturing your lips in a kiss. You let out a muffled sound of surprise and brought your hands to his chest, trying to push him away. In response, he snaked his hand around your head to grasp your hair, holding you still as he moaned quietly. 
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled against your lips. You let out another startled sound when he suddenly threw you off of him so you were laying on your back on the couch. Before you could move away, he was crawling over you, kissing you again as his hands roamed your body. 
“Emmett-” You tried to say as you continued pushing his chest, but he was too strong. “Stop!” 
“I know.” He panted before snaking his hand down your stomach all the way to the apex of your thighs. He slipped under your dress easily and roughly cupped your sex, making you whimper. 
“Emmett, please stop.” 
“I will. I will— I just need this. I haven’t been with a woman in so long…” He whispered. “I promise I’ll be fast.” 
“Please don’t,” You whimpered, already feeling tears brimming in your eyes. 
“I know. I’m sorry.” His hand suddenly left your body to open his pants and free his cock, then he was pulling your panties to the side and lining up. 
“Please! I- I’m a..” You sobbed, trying anything to get this to stop. 
“I’ll be gentle.” He promised, then faltered and added, “At least… I’ll try to be.” When you felt the head of his cock drag through your folds, your body went completely rigid. 
“Please! Emmett, please don’t,” You cried, still trying to push him away. 
“Shh…” The blunt head of his cock was against your entrance now, pushing as hard as possible, trying to fit inside you. When he finally breached your opening, his hand slapped over your mouth, muffling your shrill scream. “Oh— fuck… I'm not gonna last.” He moaned loudly, letting his head drop down for a moment. The tears in your eyes were finally falling and you sobbed almost violently behind his hand. Your crying only got worse though when he continued pushing in. 
“Almost there.” He whispered and you let out an anguished sob in response. It felt like you were being ripped open as he continued pushing deeper, a lot farther than what you could comfortably take. “Good girl… Just a little more.” Your body was trembling from the pain and you started clawing at him, trying anything to get this to stop. But he was undeterred. When he finally bottomed out, he let out a low groan that was overshadowed by your cry of pain. 
“I know… I’m sorry. Fuck, you feel so good. Just like how she felt.” He whispered. “I think she’d be happy that it’s you.” He gave you a small smile, then slowly pulled out until only the tip was inside before forcing it back in. 
“Please!” You cried, the word coming out muffled from behind his hand. 
“God- your cunt is so good.” He groaned, picking up the pace, making you cry harder. 
“Stop! Please…” You whimpered brokenly. 
“I know, baby. I’m almost done, I promise.” He said breathily. You tried kicking your legs, thrashing under him, pushing him away, but he was too strong. “Just a little longer, you’re doing so good.” He removed his hand, but before you could scream, he was kissing you again. This time, he shoved his tongue passed your parted lips, licking into your mouth in a desperate, almost feral manner. That, along with the fact that you couldn’t focus on this kiss because of how hard you were crying, made it incredibly messy and sloppy and wet. 
He snapped his hips into you, chasing his orgasm as he kissed you like he’d never be able to kiss anyone ever again, making it feel like you could barely breathe. Mostly because of the kiss, but also because of how overwhelming the pain of the stretch was. He continued kissing you and his facial hair felt scratchy against face, only furthering your discomfort. 
“I’m close.” He whispered against your lips. At least it was almost over. “I haven’t filled up a cunt in over a year.” He practically growled, making you stiffen again. 
“N-no… Emmett, please don’t. Please pull out.” You begged desperately, trying to speak coherently through all of the crying. 
“I thought you said I deserve this? That I deserve to finally be happy after everything.” He frowned, making you falter. 
“I didn’t mean… this.” You choked out, not sure what else to say. 
“I know…” He said quietly, letting his eyes flutter shut. “I’ll try to pull out.” 
“Emmett, please. You have to,” He leaned down and cut you off with another kiss as his thrusts became even rougher. 
“You’re such a good girl…” He murmured against your lips, breathing heavily as he neared his release. “So good. I’m gonna make you mine. I’ll take care of you, just like I took care of her. But we’ll be safe this time...” You shook your head, unable to do anything else. “No monsters, no illness— It’s gonna be perfect. We’ll even have some boys, yeah?”
“No,” You sobbed, quickly feeling defeated. You couldn’t stop this no matter how hard you tried. “Please, Emmett… I just turned 18, I- I can’t…” He moaned quietly when you said that. 
“Shh. Yes you can. I’ll help you, baby, we’ll do it together.” You shook your head in disagreement as you continued to cry. “Fuck,” He choked out, eyes closing again. “Ready?” 
“No— no, Emmett… please. Please pull out!” You yelled, making him curse under his breath. With one final groan, he forced his cock all the way in, pushing up against your cervix uncomfortably. 
“Oh, good girl.” He moaned, lazily rutting into you as he rode out his high. “So fucking good. So tight… milking every fucking drop.” He said proudly, making you cry harder at the verbal reminder that he just came inside you. 
“Emmett…” You whimpered, feeling his cock twitch inside you. 
“Thank you.” He said through a breath. “Thank you so much.” He almost sounded like he was about to cry in relief and that made you falter. This man has been alone for weeks, just haunted by the memories of his family with no real outlet or source of comfort. So when someone finally offered him some… he jumped at the chance immediately. You probably would’ve done the same, had you lost your entire family. 
“And I meant what I said. I’m going to keep you safe this time, I promise.” He said quietly, reaching down to feel where his cock was bulging your stomach— where a baby would be growing soon enough. “All of you.” 
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thelov3lybookworm · 2 months ago
Text
What did you say?
Summary: He needs to stop saying thank you.
•○●⛦●○•
Word Count: 1047
Warnings: none, unless you can say tooth rotting fluff and domestic cass x reader counts?
A/n: this is just adorable i loved writing this so much🥹🥹🥹
cassian is just so pookie and i love him sm 😭 someone get me a cassian please as a birthday git 😭
anyways, ENJOY🥹
(p.s: this is like the one fic i didnt discuss with berry my love becos i changed the plan for cass's fic like 5 days before posting and wrote this thang in basically a few hours lol i forgot to yap my bad sorry 😔)
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Being a five hundred year old fae, not many thing’s excited Y/n. But there were also a lot of things that did excite Y/n, and one of them was watching her husband fumble around trying to make her smile.
That morning, Y/n had woken up with a raging headache, the pounding in her head beating her brain like a wardrum. Add to the mix her hormones were all over the place at not finding herself waking up in the comforting embrace of her giant teddy bear.
She had been in a pissy mood all morning when Cassian returned home after his training session with the valkyries that lasted longer than usual.
Y/n had been glaring down at her plate of fried eggs that were not as runny as she liked, having lost touch with cooking them for herself because Cassian insisted on making her breakfast everyday when he walked in through the door to their marital home.
Of course, he did not realise that she was in a very bad mood and tried to joke around, trying to get her spirits to lift as usually that seemed to work.
"Looks like someone woke on the wrong side of the bed today, huh?"
Y/n turned sharply to glare at her husband who did not even have the decency to apologise for not being there for her when she woke with the headache that still refused to leave before making fun of her. The fucking audacity.
She had only glared at him for a long moment before turning and leaving to their bedroom, but that moment was enough for Cassian to catch onto the fact that she was mad mad.
It also allowed Y/n a glimpse of panic flashing in his eyes, for which she had felt guilty but she knew she needed time to calm down before talking to him.
And now, it was evening, and the puppy eyes Cassian watched Y/n with were making her heart melt.
How could someone be this adorable?
He’d been at it the whole day. Bringing her her favourite pastries from a nearby bakery, running her a hot bath and slipping a note into the bedroom from under the door, making her dinner. When she had come down after a relaxing bath, he had even offered her a back massage.
His voice had been so light, but she heard the softness, the caution in it.
And Y/n had almost agreed to that massage that sounded so heavenly, but watching her husband be sad over her behaviour that morning ate her alive, and agreeing to let him cater to all her wants without realising that she was not mad at him felt like she was using him.
It had almost been an hour since he had offered, and since they’d had dinner and moved to the living room. She had tried to make conversation with him, but he seemed lost in his own mind, offering her short responses before his eyes turned distant again.
Y/n did not need that bond between her and her husband to know that he was trying to figure out what he’d done wrong.
"Cass?"
He blinked, then looked away from her, his ears darkening before he met her gaze again. "Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare."
Y/n raised a brow. "And so what if you did?" his brows furrowed, so Y/n hastened to add in case he thought she was still mad. "I’m your wife, your mate. You can look however much you want."
"I… yeah."
Y/n sighed, then stood from the couch and walked over to the oversized armchair adjacent to the fireplace that Cassian occupied and settled down in his lap, trying to focus on formulating a coherent sentence and not on the way his warm hands immediately wrapped around her waist.
He watched her quietly, his eyes slightly wide.
Though those beautiful eyes fluttered shut when Y/n leaned in and kissed him.
It was not a full on kiss, if she had to be honest. It was just a tiny peck, even that faint brush of their lips sending pleasant warmth shooting through her veins.
"Thank you-" Y/n paused, watching her husband blurt out the two words with her brows tugging together.
"What- what did you say?"
He blinked, blood climbing up his neck. "I… thank you?"
Y/n could not help it anymore. She threw her head back and laughed, unable to control the shaking of her body.
"Cass, are you thanking me for kissing you?"
"Yeah? You were mad at me-"
"I wasn’t."
He blinked again, then leaned back in the armchair. "What do you mean- why were you upset in the morning then?"
Y/n sighed, dropping her head into the junction between his shoulder and neck. "I had a raging headache when I woke up, and then I wanted to cuddle with you but you were gone. I was just upset at that."
He exhaled, raising his hands to run through Y/n’s unbound hair. "I’m sorry love, I had to go. You know the blood rite is coming soon, and a lot more priestesses and illyrian women want to partake this year. Az’s been running himself ragged, and Gwyn’s been so worried for him."
Y/n pulled back to meet his eyes. "Don’t apologise for being you, Cass. I know you love to help and train, and I am not mad when I am blessed with the most amazing husband in all of prythian."
Cassian’s eyes turned glassy at that, and he softly kissed her forehead.
"Thank you-"
Y/n groaned, standing up again.
"I swear to the mother if you say that one more time I’m going to bite you."
HIs expression morphed into a serious one, smile fading, and Y/n was once again reminded of his position in the night court. He looked more like his scheming general self that her sweet, adorable husband who pouted everytime Y/n did not give him five more minutes of cuddles.
"Y/n… thank you."
Y/n burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter as she watched him leap out of his preferred seat and bolted up the stairs to their bedroom.
"Oh you cunning ass!"
°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°
Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut
@daycourtofficial @sweetorangeblossom @secret-third-thing
Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686
@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1
@hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21
@mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @lady-of-tearshed @starsinyourseyes
@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady
@lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @garden-of-runar @girlswithimagination
@sunnyspycat @artists-ally @milswrites @kingdomofstarrynights
@berryzxx @buttermilktea11 @loving-and-dreaming @yucanbmylxdy
@mellowmusings
Cassian Taglist: @moonlwghts @samslittlespoon @nickishadow139
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literaila · 6 months ago
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can we get one of those scenarios where gojo does go to reader's dorm at 3am to go get sweets?
before you came to jujutsu high, you were a very patient person.
your temper was long, if anything. a stretchy sort of thing that was folded in the hands of people who didn’t deserve it.
it took a lot to get you worked up—some might even say that you were a people pleaser. if you had a certain… distaste for anyone or anything, well that was between you and your brain.
before you came to jujutsu high, that is.
because now it takes less than a knock on the door for your irritation to rise from your chest into your eyes. stress headaches have become a newfound acquaintance.
“what?” you hiss, opening your door to be met with—to no one’s surprise—a giddy grin and a sliver of eyes so bright it makes you want to puke.
so yeah. things have changed.
it wasn’t even one knock this time, though, but at least four different pounds, each one luring you even further into the cloud of homicidal thoughts.
at least no one will blame you in jail.
“is that how you answer your door?” satoru asks, leaning against the jam, so tall it hurts your soul.
“gojo,” you say, sweetening your rough, still-sleeping voice. “unless you’re here to tell me that someone’s dead, i’m going to break your nose.”
you didn’t used to be this violent, you swear. there’s just something about him—
satoru pinches your cheek fondly. “you’re such a joy to be around. even with your bed head.”
“did someone die?”
“yes,” satoru adjusts your shirt for you, kindness a silly thing he likes to wear occasionally. “my stomach. its rotting away.”
“good for you. goodnight.”
and you move to close the door, but satoru has always been faster than you. his foot is there, and you could break it, but you won’t.
god knows why.
“c’mon, sleeping beauty,” he whines, “i want bad ice cream.”
“then go get some.”
“i want company while i eat it.”
“don’t you have other friends or something? it’s..” you turn, blinking in the dark. “1:34 am.”
gojo grins. “snack time,” he says, simply.
you groan, missing when life was simple and no one talked to you unless you were making a mistake. “i’m tired. you woke me up, and i was having a good dream, too.”
“about me?”
“about something i don’t remember because,” you scowl at him, “you woke me up.”
“i didn’t want you to miss out.”
“if you keep smiling at me like that, i’ll—“
you stop, mostly because you don’t know what you’ll do.
“are you trying to sweet talk me? because it’s working.”
“no.”
gojo laughs. “get dressed. unless you want to wear your… care bear’s shirt.”
“go with geto,” you say, trying to shut the door again. it only succeeds in making satoru flinch just briefly.
which is enough to feed the vicious animal in your head.
“he’s just not as cute as you, though.”
you scoff. “stop trying to manipulate me.”
“but it always works so well.”
and is he wrong?
…no. but who can blame you for falling victim to his whims? satoru has spent his entire life being waited on, being given every little thing he could possibly want.
and he seems to want you.
it’s such a unique, bewildering feeling that you have to follow through. you can’t let something like affection go to waste.
the girl you were a year ago would scream for this very moment. she would be at satoru’s door, hugging his leg like a child.
(and if he’s a little bit… okay to look at. well. at least there’s one plus to this arrangement).
“i’ll even wait for you to get dressed,” satoru says like it’s a generous offer. “can’t you hear the ice cream calling?”
and then he leans in, eyes peering into yours over his ridiculous shades.
his hair is a bit messier than usual this late, his mouth a terrifying pink.
some small part of you wants to desperately to lean a little bit closer. to push this even further. so what if you need more convincing? so what if he owes you something?
so what if you can’t say no to him?
it has nothing to do with the itchy feeling in your chest, or the giddy fog in your brain.
(god, satoru makes you feel… something else. different than a human, but nothing more than a prize. he makes you feel like you are something other—like you’ve been the problem this entire time—but in a good way.
satoru sees you as something to behold.
you’re the god of this small thing.
and it’s wonderful. its infuriating and painful, and still you’d rather die than attempt to let it go.)
so what?
“fine,” you almost gasp. “but you’re buying.”
gojo clasps his hands together in satisfaction. “we’ll see,” he sings.
“ten minutes,” you tell him, trying to shut the door.
“five,” he whispers back, so sweetly.
and then satoru flashes his teeth at you, so different from anything else.
your responding nod is just unconscious at this point.
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Evan “Buck” Buckley: Belt 
This is my first Buck and 911 story! I'm so excited to be writing for a new fandom! If this is what brought you to me welcome!
This was inspired by complete brain rot. I couldn’t get it out of my head so I had to write it down. I’ve been catching up so I can watch the new season of 911! Damn, Buck just does something to me. Is anyone else hoping for buddie to be canon this season? I wish I could keep him for myself but if he does have to pair off with someone it better be Eddie. 
You were known to get yourself into strange and interesting situations. You blamed it on your big mouth and openness about discussing pretty much anything without thought. Usually when people had trauma, they kept it close to the vest but you weren’t ashamed of what had shaped you. Normal taboos like mental health, past trauma, and sex were easy for you to talk about. Giving voice to things took away their power.  
This situation wasn’t one you thought you would find yourself in. Sitting in a chair trying to teach Javi how to belt handcuffs and to start foreplay in a more dominant way. When he told everyone he had a date, you had been excited for him and asked about her. When he told you she was a shy introvert who liked to read things like Haunting Adeline, Den of Vipers, and Credence you hadn’t been able to hold your laughter. 
His confusion was immediate and between laughs, you had told him to look up the books to see what they were about. His reaction had been priceless. You had tried to calm him down telling him the belt or tie trick would work on any book girly. A few TikTok thirst traps later he looked more concerned than when you had started.  
That is what had landed you in the chair in front of him. You had shown him how to loop the belt into handcuffs and pull them tight. Javi knew how to do it but was just struggling with the sass of the move. He would put your hands in the belt but he was so gentle that the movement seemed awkward instead of sexy. “Alright, I’m calling it. I’m just not getting this.”  
“Javi, it’s getting a lot better. You just need a little more...” You pause trying to think of the right word. You had been giving him corrections and he had been doing better but you were struggling to give him the right feedback.  
“More attitude,” You both look up to see Buck just a few feet away. He looks at you and requests, “May I?” Your brows furrow together but give him a deceive nod. You weren’t close with Buck but with frequenting the firehouse you knew each other well enough. He was an attractive man and you wouldn’t complain about having him in your space. 
Buck's long legs ate up the distance between the two of you while one hand undid his belt buckle using his other hand to yank it out of the loops with a snap. His hands easily formed the belt into two loops for the makeshift handcuffs. You held your wrists out willingly. He stepped even closer his tall frame overshadowing you, his legs brushing yours. You could smell the spice of his aftershave, the warmth of his body making heat flood through your lower stomach and up your body.  
He briefly looked down to slide the leather belt over your wrist but otherwise, his blue eyes stayed locked on yours. You couldn’t look away. Then in one fluid movement, he pulled the belt tight, the leather biting just enough into your wrist, as he pulled your hands up and over your head and back towards your shoulders. You inhaled sharply your body naturally arching up. Buck was leaning down enough that your breast brushed his chest. Your nipples hardening in your bra. You pull reflexively against the hold but Buck holds a firm resistance and your hands don’t move. 
His face is only inches from yours and you can feel the warmth of his minty breath. The rough fingertips of his other hand caress from your chin up your cheek to push your hair back and out of your face tucking them behind your ear. Your heart is pounding in your chest and your breath is coming out in pants. His nose grazes your ever so slightly.  
You think he is planning on kissing you. Your lips part eager for his kiss. Ready for his taste on your tongue. You are disappointed when instead you feel cold as his body heat is pulled farther from you. You look up at his retreating figure with hooded eyes. But his attention has turned to Javi. “You don’t want to hurt them- I get that. But women aren’t as fragile as you think. You want to put just enough force behind it to surprise them- catch their attention. Give them the feeling of being completely under your control. Not so they feel powerless but so they can let go.”  
Buck’s name is called from another room and he doesn’t even glance back at you as he quickly strides out of the room. “After watching that I think I know what I am doing wrong. Can we go again?” Javi’s voice pulls you out of your head. You shake your head as you slowly bring your hands back up in front of you. Your movements are shaky as you start to pull at the belt Buck had left tight around your wrists. 
“Yeah,” You breathe out finally getting the leather loose. You try not to press your thighs together as you feel the wetness in your panties and the now throbbing ache in your core. You need a minute. A long minute. “Let me just go to the bathroom first.”  
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polakina · 10 months ago
Note
Nonnie from that Javier request here again 👁️
Javier has been rotting my brain for days now but an addition to this is Charles.
We know from that bar fight mission in Valentine that Javier and Charles have different tastes in women but what if they somehow land their eyes on the same lady? Who just happen to be someone the gang newly recruited.
Javier who makes the funniest jokes with flirtatious undertones and keeps the drinks and songs going(definitely the more fun of the two), but also Charles who's more touch than talk and ALWAYS has his hand on her lower back (I'm frothing at the mouth for this).
nonnie i love u, never stop sending these requests
i took this on a slightly different route than what i was expecting to write, but i hope you still like it :)
rating: mature
hard to ignore
It had been a few months since you had joined the gang. Time had flown by, with the heists, the jobs, the hunting. Everything. But you’d gotten to know the people quite well.
Arthur was quiet, but he was sweet. Hosea was one of the loveliest men you’d ever met, which also made him one of the most dangerous when it came to his scams. John and Abigail argued so much that it became white noise to you at night. Micah was an ass. That’s all you had to say about that man. 
Javier was…an interesting personality. He was kind to you. He played guitar well. He always managed to catch your eye across the fire at night in camp. You always smiled, meeting his gaze.
“Morning, querida,” he’d always say in the mornings. “Looking beautiful as ever.” His accent always did something to you. The purr in his tone, the gravel in his voice, especially in the morning. He was a smooth talker, and he knew it. From your perspective, this was how he acted with all women. How you thought he approached every lady who came his way.
But when night fell, he turned into a different person. He was a confident man. In the way he walked, he talked. How he moved through the camp, interacting with everyone on his way to the campfire. How he presented himself, bringing life to the party. Camp always seemed more lively, more fun when he brought himself into the centre of it.
Drinks were flowing just as the sun dipped behind the hill. The guitar was pulled out and its strings were plucked in a melodious tune that got everyone dancing.
It was almost as though he was singing for you. To you. His eyes never left yours when he sang those songs. Those songs that made everyone sway in couples, in a harmonious dance. God, he was good at it. Good at making you feel seen. His entire focus was just on you.
“Enjoying your night, conejita?” He smiled as he made his way over to you, two bottles of liquor in hand, passing one over to you.
“Don’t call me that,” you rolled your eyes, the corners of your lips upturned. He called you bunny. A playful little endearment you’d noticed in your first week of being here. You only realised what it meant when you were strolling through the south end of Saint Denis; an older gentleman called his wife the same thing and you’d asked him what it meant. “Bunny,” he’d said. “My wife, she’s like a cute little bunny. So the name stuck.”
Javier smiled brightly at you. “But it suits you so perfectly, conejita.”
You rolled your eyes again, unable to hide your smile at this point. He was always so upfront with you, never left anything to the unknown. If he didn’t like you, it’d be blatantly obvious. But if he liked you, the entire camp knew. There’d be signs. Not even subtle ones. With you, he found an excuse to come and talk to you, even if you were doing menial tasks like laundry. He’d keep you company, sometimes help out with whatever you were doing. Javier liked to compliment you a lot. Like, a lot. 
Compliment you in ways that made you hide your blush sometimes. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in this light, conejita?” “Don’t look at me with those eyes, they’re too pretty to look away from.” The man had a way with words, and you never knew how to respond.
Charles was quiet when you had first joined the camp. Kept to himself mostly, just like Arthur did. But there was something about him that drew you to his nonchalant personality. His large build, strong hands, deadset glare. He was handsome. So goddamn handsome. Never a part of the group, not really even during parties or meals. 
He stayed by himself in the first few weeks of your introduction. He always kept a wary eye out in the camp, and you’d caught his eyes lingering on yours a few times, but often times you thought it was your imagination. He’d not spoken to you for a long while in camp until you were the one to approach him.
But now, months down the line, you knew it wasn’t your imagination. He looked right at you now, not staring in a strange way that made your skin crawl, but observing you. Fascinated by you.
Charles didn’t speak much. He didn’t have to. It was his touches and how he handled himself around you that told you everything you needed to know about the man.
No matter how many times you assured him you could dismount your horse, or scale a wall, he was there. To help you. Always offering a hand, or stabilising you on unsteady rocks. The two of you often paired yourselves together on jobs, since you worked well together as a team. 
Around camp, he’d become a lot closer with you. His hand finding your lower back when he was behind you, so you knew he was there as he reached around to grab another bottle of liquor. His hand outstretched to help you up after you were sitting on the floor by the campfire for too long, your legs aching from the weight of your body resting on your ass.
But his favourite thing was when the wind blew a little too hard, and he had the excuse to brush your hair out from in front of your face. He stood taller than you, a lot taller. His build was wider than yours, more muscles in his arms and chest. The muscles in his back contorting and stretching when he mounted his horse. You looked. Of course, you looked. It was hard not to.
Javier and Charles had different ways of getting your attention. Javier was more talkative, complimenting to you, a lot more confident with his words. Charles, however, took his time with things. He liked to watch from afar, casting small smiles your way whenever you looked over. He communicated with his touch, his hands, his light hold. But Javier communicated with his words. You couldn’t tell which one you preferred more. 
Both of these men knew that they equally vied for your attention. They saw it everyday. They didn’t mind. They didn’t see it as a game to compete for you. They liked how flustered you would get from each others advances.
So maybe…you wouldn’t have to choose between them. Since they seemed perfectly happy working together to get your attention. Maybe, just maybe, you could be selfish and have both.
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genderfluid-insomniac · 7 months ago
Note
IDEA!!
riddle, ace, and malleus (separately) x fem!reader (u can make it gn!reader if you’d prefer tho!) where the reader is about to leave twisted wonderland but she’s clearly hesitating and then the character asks why they don’t just go, and reader tells them through tears that she loves him, and asks if he feels the same n that if he does that will be the only reason she needs to stay. he does and she runs into his arms immediately. so a little bit of angst but ends with cute comfort. if this is unclear at all PLS LMK and i will clear it up!! brain is rotted atm bc i finished the worst essay of my life a little bit ago
Riddle, Ace, and Malleus (separately) x fem!reader who’s hesitant to go back home because of their crush
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Riddle
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
Behind you were your friends along with your crush the dorm leader of Heartslayble Riddle and they watched bittersweetly as you walked closer to the mirror. In front of you was the hazy view of a city near where you lived and you were supposed to feel ecstatic that you could finally go home, and see your parents, and your friends but you didn’t. Ever since you stepped foot in Twisted Wonderland you felt like an alien but over time it began to be your home and one person held your heart through all your time here.
You loved Riddle dearly and after his overblot, you were there for him much to his confusion since he was horrible to you and the others but you relented. Riddle has grown so much from his freshmen year and saw nearly every day now, walking between classes or hanging out in Heartslayble and helping him paint the roses red or tending to the hedgehogs. The way he talked to the hedgehogs or flamingos was adorable and it was always impressive when an Unbirthday party was being set up and he was in his formal uniform staff in hand ordering people where each dessert went. In your hand was a specially made strawberry tart for you with a queen of hearts card sticking out of it and a fondant miniature hedgehog in front.
When Riddle tutored you because you needed help with some of your classes you sometimes tried to make the sessions last as long as they could since Riddle had such a strict schedule you would practically have to schedule or make an appointment his free time. Riddle of course upheld the rules for everybody even including you but he would sometimes bend them because your pout was too cute or your smile was perfectly bright. You both loved each other so much without the other knowing and it appeared like it would stay that way since you were leaving for your real home.
Riddle noticed you hadn’t moved for the last couple of minutes and seemed to be in deep thought however you were shaking. “Are you alright or worried? You’re shaking. Is there something wrong?” he asked and buried the twinge of hope in him that thought your hesitation was because you weren’t going to go back. You felt the hot tears drip down your cheeks and sniffled, turning around so your friend and everyone saw you were holding back the wave of tears threatening to fall. “I don’t want to go back… I don’t want to go back because that means I won’t get to see my friends or you! I love you so much! I have since the first unbirthday party I ever attended and I don’t know if you love me back but I don’t want to leave!” you cried and opened your eyes to see Riddle crying silently, tears unknowingly escaping his eyes and face a blushy pink.
You both stared at one another in silence for a couple of moments before the dorm leader spoke and wiped his face noticing his tears. “I didn’t want you to go back but it’s not my choice and it would be wrong of me to cause conflicts in you. I love you and want you to stay here with me. I can’t promise everything will stay calm but I promise I’ll always be by your side.” he said and his eyes widened when he saw you drop your things, running over to him and tackling the poor short Riddle to the ground. You cupped his face and kissed him softly, his face blushing scarlet but intertwining your hands and cupping your face in turn. “How about we make a new tart in celebration or salvage the fallen one I made you, my rose?” he asked and eyed the dropped slightly damaged dessert in its frail simple packaging.
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Ace
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
The charm of an ace card that your crush Ace had given you was dangling from your phone and a replica of his magic pen held tightly. You looked at your phone once more and saw the goofy picture of both of you running from Riddle with the tart in hand as your lock screen. Letting a couple of tears fall and bringing your phone to your chest, trying to come to terms with that you would have to deal with never seeing your best friend and crush ever in exchange for being on earth again.
Ace and your other friends behind you grew worried as they saw your shoulders shaking and hands clutching your stuff tighten. Why were you hesitating? He was devastated that he would never get to see you again, assuming that texting you in your world didn’t work, and putting on a mask of happiness for you. He never even got to tell you he loved you but he knew now wasn’t the time as it’d make you hesitate. To the others, it was crystal clear how hard this was for both of you.
He ordered his voice to be steady even though it came out shaky. “Why don’t you just go? This is what you have wanted since you got here right? We’ll all miss you so much and you know we support your decision right?” he asked and heard the others murmur similar statements or agreement. You let out a sob and turned around to the group, tears falling down your red cheeks and bordering on a breakdown. “I can’t go knowing that I’ll never see any of you ever again. That I’ll never see you again, Ace. You’ve been with me since I got here and always stuck by me. I can’t leave because I love you and I’d never know if you loved me back if I left now!” you cried and hiccuped, dropping your bag and wiping your wet cheeks with your sleeve.
That was the breaking point for Ace and he stopped pretending to be glad you were going home, knowing his crush someone he loved ever since he saw you come through that mirror and go through all the crazy hijinx of this school year loved him back. He sobbed and held his uniform sleeve over his eyes to hide the onslaught of tears pouring out of his eyes. “I never wanted you to leave not when you already became a girl I could depend on every day. It’s selfish but I didn’t care because I loved you too. So seeing you happy to leave… it broke me.” he said and let the sad emotions overcome him.
You smiled albeit a bit wobbly and dropped everything you were holding, running to Ace and tackling him in a hug. Both of you fell to the ground with you on top of him and he cupped your face, kissing you softly and wiping the tears falling with his thumb. You parted for air and rested your head on his chest as you caught your breath. “So would my hot girlfriend be up for snatching a couple of sweets from my dorm?” he asked cheekily.
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Malleus
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
Malleus had specifically arrived at Ramshackle to go with you to the Hall of Mirrors to spend the most time he could with you and convinced Lilia to stop Sebek from going with him since he knew it meant so much to his draconian friend. He desperately didn’t want you to leave. Who would he spend his nightly walks with or have interesting conversations about gargoyles? But most importantly, how would he fill the hole in his heart if his favorite student he loved left?
You held your bag in one hand and in the other was a replica of Malleus’ magic pen along with a small orb with the illusion of Ramshackle dorm with its gargoyles and you, Grim, and him outside pointing to different parts of the worn down dorm building. Just looking at it brought tears to your eyes. It reminded you of what you were leaving and how you were leaving the one person you loved behind.
Malleus and your friends noticed your hesitation and looked at each other worried if you were okay, wondering if they should speak up or say something. He went to take a step forward but stopped and gripped the sleeve of his blazer, unable to form the words he wanted to say. You looked at the glowing mirror in front of you and saw the hazy reflection of a familiar landmark smiling a bittersweet smile. Letting the tears fall down your cheeks and sniffling.
Your mind waged war on both sides of your mind wanting to come out on top and win. You didn’t want to leave the person who you’d slowly grown to love and who piqued your curiosity the moment you saw him. You couldn’t. Your crush spoke up after what felt like an eternity. “Are you alright? This is what you want isn’t it?” he said with a hint of solemnness. Turning around and letting everyone see your teary sad sad face. “I can’t go because I love you and if I go I’ll never get to see you again. I don’t want that. I love it here and I love being here with you. I love you and I don’t want to leave even if it means you don’t love me back!” you said through tears.
He let a few tears fall down his cheeks and smiled warmly. “I was hoping you would say something like that. I love you too and want nothing more than for you to stay here with me. I’d miss our walks and nicknames. Everything about you has captured my heart.” he said and brushed budding tears with his thumb. You sobbed hearing his confession and dropped what you were holding, running into his arms and holding him tightly. Both of you held the other like they would disappear if they let go. You laughed and leaned into the hand cupping your face, kissing him sweetly, and resting your forehead against his. “Shall we get something to eat, my beloved?” he asked charmingly.
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gahyunszn · 7 months ago
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risk it all
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genre : fluff
warning(s) : none
note : this was so rushed but idc, i’ve been having insane giselle brain rot + i love iu SO ITS A WIN FOR ME!!!!
things never really went well for you, but thankfully you had someone special to help when things went wrong.
Dearest, darling, my universe
날 데려가 줄래?
나의 이 가난한 상상력으론
떠올릴 수 없는 곳으로
giselle, your rock, your #1 supporter, your best friend. whenever you had any sort of troubles, giselle was the one person that you could run to when things became unbearable and you were grateful for that, for her. even when you didn’t have troubles that giselle would worry about and lend you a shoulder to cry on, you two would spend time together and bond over the little things that would seem meaningless to others.
저기 멀리 from Earth to Mars
꼭 같이 가줄래?
그곳이 어디든
오랜 외로움, 그 반대말을 찾아서
어떤 실수로
이토록 우리는 함께일까?
“hey, have you ever wondered what it would be like to run away?” giselle abruptly asked, making you look up from the manga you had stolen from her shelf.
“sometimes, why?” you cocked your head, eyebrows furrowed, confused on what made her ask.
“what if we ran away together, we could go somewhere even more beautiful than here, away from all your troubles.” she explained.
you smiled, liking the idea of running away with your best friend, being able to live a better life with her without worrying about anyone or anything. however, there’s one faulty thing about running away with giselle.
would your feelings towards her grow more?
“i think i’d like that” you smiled, causing giselle to smile as well.
so it was settled, you two would simply run away to a better place where it would be nothing but peaceful. of course you two couldn’t jump into this so carelessly, a lot of planning was made to assure that you two had the right funds, location, and transportation. once everything had been carefully thought out, you two progressed.
bags packed, excitement contained, and a patient giselle waiting just down the street. you were ready to leave this place to settle down somewhere better with your best friend. you hated having to still call her your best friend during all this, but what could you do? you didn’t know if she felt the same or not and you didn’t wanna risk anything.
세상에게서 도망쳐 run on
나와 저 끝까지 가줘 my lover
나쁜 결말일까?
길 잃은 우리 둘 mm
and so it started, the walk to the train station while talking about the first things you two would do in the new area begun. giselle wanted to check out any cafés that may be there while you wanted to take a nap as soon as you two made it to your destination. giselle laughed, gentle pushing your shoulder in a playful manner, joking about how much of a homebody you are.
after some talk later, you two found yourselves on the platform of the train station, looking at each other before taking a deep breath and stepping onto the train. it was almost empty minus the business workers who were going home after a long day at the office. you and giselle had sat in a secluded part of the train cart, putting your suitcases on the padded seats in front of you two. giselle let out a long breath of air, slouching a bit in her seat and resting her head on your shoulder. you stiffened up, feeling her nuzzle her head on your shoulder to get comfortable before the train started to move.
“we should have started operation run away later in the day, which one of us decided that we should do this at 4 in the morning.” she groaned.
“you did, you decided that.” you chuckled, wrapping your arm around her in an attempt to shield her eyes from as much as the train lighting as possible, allowing her to sleep peacefully.
“well…shit.” she sighed, giggling quietly to herself before letting the wave of tiredness get to her.
부서지도록 나를 꼭 안아
더 사랑히 내게 입 맞춰 lover
Love is all, love is all
Love, love, love, love
an hour or so passed since giselle had fallen asleep, the sun started to rise which only made her look even more beautiful. the way the sunrise had captured her features was amazing even if your sweater sleeve was blocking almost half her face. you were convinced that she’d wake up soon with how hard and loud your heart seemed to be beating, but you couldn’t help yourself.
you started to wonder if this was a bad idea, if maybe had you not actually run away with her, you wouldn’t be feeling this way.
impossible. it was inevitable with the way any little act of kindness she had done towards you made your heart flutter.
결국, 그럼에도
어째서 우리는 서로일까?
세상에게서 도망쳐 run on
나와 저 끝까지 가줘 my lover
나쁜 결말일까?
길 잃은 우리 둘 mm
as the train ride proceeded for a bit longer, you noticed your stop was coming up. you unwrapped your arm around giselle, causing her to stir from the sudden loss of warmth.
“hey, we’re almost here.” you whispered, rubbing your head against hers. she groaned, slowly waking up and taking in the view from outside the window.
“wow…” she was at a loss for words, grateful for picking this area as a place to run away to especially when it would make you look even more beautiful than you already are.
after a good stare out the window, giselle faced you, observing your facial features before frowning.
“did you not get any rest when i did?” she asked, moving her hand your your face to caress your cheek.
“no, i wanted to make sure we didn’t miss our stop.” complete lie. as you were about to gently grab giselle’s wrist to move her hand off your face, the announcer had announced your stop, resulting in giselle’s hand moving on her own. you two got up from your seats, stretching a bit before grabbing your things and making your way off the train. once off the train, you two took in your surroundings, sharing a joint ‘woah’ before starting the walk to the temporary hotel.
찬찬히 너를 두 눈에 담아
한 번 더 편안히 웃어주렴
유영하듯 떠오른
그날 그 밤처럼
나와 함께 겁 없이 저물어줄래?
산산히 나를 더 망쳐 ruiner
너와 슬퍼지고 싶어 my lover
during the walk, giselle couldn’t help but stare at you, causing her to almost fall a couple times.
“you should really pay more attention while you’re walking, you’re so clumsy.” you laughed, watching as giselle almost tripped over her own feet.
“it’s hard to pay attention when….the view is so pretty!” she awkwardly said, suddenly turning her head towards a fenced off ledge that had a perfect view of the ocean and a small island off in the distance. “here, stand right there, i wanna take a picture of you with this beautiful view.” giselle pointed at a spot with her finger.
you stood where she pointed, looking behind you to also take in the view. as you were looking behind you, giselle had whipped out her phone to take some candid shots of you, loving how amazing you looked without even trying.
“wow…you’re a work of art.” she said a little too loud, causing you to look at her. you smiled.
“same to you, you’re absolutely stunning.”
giselle’s arm slowly dropped to her side as she walked towards you. once she got close enough, she held you in a warm embrace, the breeze flowing through both of your hair. after some silence, you decided to risk everything and lean in for a kiss which she thankfully reciprocated.
필연에게서 도망쳐 run on
나와 저 끝까지 가줘 my lover
일부러 나란히 길 잃은 우리 두 사람
부서지도록 나를 꼭 안아
더 사랑히 내게 입 맞춰 lover
Our love wins all, love wins all
Love, love, love, love
it was a warm, longing kiss. the mix of the cool breeze and the faint wave crashes in the background made it all the more better. you were glad you took the risk to run away with her, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
giselle pulled away first, looking into your eyes lovingly before gently hitting your shoulder.
“you know, i’ve been waiting for you to do that.” she admitted, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.
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dimonds456 · 3 months ago
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Billford and Abuse: An Analysis
Honestly, as someone who ships both Billford and Fiddauthor, the thing I like about the toxic yaoi ship is the fact that it IS toxic. Like, the jokes are great, but its depiction of abuse is so, like... genuine. Without getting personal, I've been in a really fucking bad toxic (platonic) relationship before, and Billford deadass helped me come to terms with it.
Cuz here's the thing: most fictional abusive relationships just start with the abuse itself. It shows the victim and the perpetrator at the height (or almost at the height) of the abuse, and we see as either one of them is destroyed by it or the victim becomes free. But Billford actually shows the WHOLE timeline.
Something that bothers me about a lot of fictional abuse reps is the fact that you cannot sympathize with the victim aside from "aw that's horrible :(". Cuz it just starts AT the abuse. We don't see how they got there or what's causing the victim to stay. We just know they need to escape.
But with Billford, we see EVERYTHING. How it started out as something Ford genuinely loved, seeing Bill as a friend and someone he could trust, how it made him feel better because he was actually making progress on his research and he wasn't lonely anymore.
To Ford during those early days, Bill was the highlight of his time in Gravity Falls. We can follow his train of thought exactly to where he let Bill possess him with basically no strings attached (pun intended).
That's what makes it all the more devastating. Bill isolated Ford from everyone. He sabotaged his friendship with Fiddleford by planting that seed of doubt in the engineer and pulling Ford further and further into his plans. Then the thing with the portal happened and Ford had NOWHERE to go. Plus, Bill kept trying to get Ford to stop thinking about Stan, to move on and let him rot. So he kept planting seeds of doubt in his own brother as well, causing Ford to further and further slip away.
Then Ford confronts Bill. And the monster is unleashed.
Once Bill realizes he's lost control of Ford's devotion and the illusion has shattered, Bill just LEANS into it. In order to take control back, he started tormenting Ford and just being horrible to him, to try and make him fall in line. Love and fear ARE right next to each other in the brain, after all. And there's NOTHING Ford can do but just fall further and further into paranoia.
Bill demonstrates many real-world abusive/manipulative tactics on Ford, the big one being isolation, since that allows the rest of the everything to even happen, but the way he turns Ford against LITERALLY EVERYONE using paranoia is really true to real life.
Now obviously your toxic boyfriend cannot possess random strangers irl. But you know what he CAN do? Start spreading rumors behind your back. Stalk you. Harass you. Make you feel unsafe everywhere except home (which isn't safe either, but it's better than the outside world). He can spend your money or break your things. Slash your tires. In Ford's case, LITERALLY abusing his body. There's the sticky notes, the threats, the roof incident, all of it just piling one atop the other.
I cannot imagine how fucking terrified Ford must have been to finally send that postcard to Stanley. He was at a point where he assumed Stan would hate him, or at the very least wouldn't respond so why even bother, and he'd just gotten the "steal your eyes" threat. He was out of options, and was absolutely sure he was putting Stan in danger by getting him involved (another irl abuse thing that happens).
He was scared to reach out for help because 1) he didn't want others getting hurt (like Fidds had), 2) he was ashamed he'd let this happen, and 3) he, on some level, felt like he deserved this.
Justified? To a paranoid, scared, abused, irrational brain: Absolutely. In reality? Never. But HE'D built that portal. HE'D allowed Bill to possess his body basically freely. HE'D basically helped start the apocalypse. And that shame would have lead to SO much self-hatred and despair.
His reaching out to Stan was his last resort, his only way out. THAT'S what intrigues me about the ship so much.
I do not want them to make up and get back together. They're horrible for each other. But I do enjoy exploring the dynamic of it, fully seeing the cycle and how it happens, and seeing a whole new side to Ford that we only caught a glimpse of in the show and Journal 3. Plus Bill but his side is more comedic and sad to me I do not take him seriously FSDGHJ
The jokes are great and I love it here, but if I ever write a fic or draw art for these two it's going to be toxic as hell man. And not in the fun way fgsjd
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swallowedbymadness · 11 months ago
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「 ✦ so good at being bad ✦ 」
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Pairing: dom!wooyoung x sub!fem!reader
Genre: ⛓️ smutty smut smuttttttt ⛓️
Summary: Wooyoung surprises you with a pretty little gift one night.
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Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEPTHS OF COLLEGE HELL. Not really bc spring semester just started. BUT. I am here with some plotless smut for you. If you’ve read my writing before, you know I love a good romance. But honestly, this video has been rotting my brain for a solid month and it has inspired this little fic. 🫠 also I firmly believe we need more dom woo bc he gives off this vibe at times and it’s not praised enough. You cannot change my mind.
18+ content, so please, minors DNI. Enjoy! 🤍
Warnings: bdsm - restraints, collar (called a choker for the most part), pet names (fr - baby & darling), a tiny bit of throat grabbing, and jung wooyoung bc he himself is a whole warning. 😵‍💫
Proofread: Yes! But you already know…if you see a mistake, no you don’t. Proofread this at like 6am so no guarantees lol
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‘How the hell did I end up here?’ You found yourself wondering as you listened intently to a story that you wouldn’t normally find interesting, but for some reason it was tonight. Probably because of who was telling it. Your eyes were lost in dark pools of chocolate as you listened to the man sitting directly across from you as he was animatedly telling you about his day. Your head was resting in your hand and your heart was slowly pounding uncomfortably in your chest as you watched the way he got so submerged in his tellings.
You were sitting prettily at the breakfast bar inside of the loft that belonged to who was supposed to be a one night stand ages ago. However, there were now candles burning, music playing lowly in the background and two almost empty wine glasses sitting in front of you under the simply lit lights that hung above the two of you.
‘Yeah…’ you thought. ‘This definitely turned into something…more.’ You tried recalling where exactly your heart took over your logic of the situation. Was it when he asked you how you liked your coffee the next morning after a quickie the night prior? Was it when he actually kept his word and called you the next day? Or maybe it was the date he asked to take you on so he could get to know you on a level more than physical. Either way, you couldn’t pinpoint the moment you started associating his eyes to milk chocolate or remembering that his hair smelled like pears. Or even when you had started adoring the mole under his eye. You had no idea, but it threw you into a mild sense of panic when you caught yourself staring at him for longer than you should, and the way his finger shocked you when he reached for your hand while walking you home after date number three.
It was a lot to take in.
You didn’t think you would ever in a million years be caught up with someone like Jung Wooyoung. He was classy and dripping with solid gold sex appeal. He carried himself so elegantly and was anything but innocent like the picture his eyes liked to paint. He was a lion, and he had sought you out as his prey one night at the rooftop bar you never attended prior to your friend’s birthday party in the spring. It was there that he showed up, and when he noticed you it was like he had a target painted on you because he would not look away. He ended up buying you a drink and how could you refuse such charm when he offered you a good time that evening?
The one lesson you learned that evening was that it was not going to be your last night moaning his name in ecstasy against his black silk sheets with the city’s skyline glowing in from his floor to ceiling windows. No…you quickly learned the one thing about Jung Wooyoung that had you baited like a fish on a hook the moment his feline eyes set in on you. The man was insatiable, and you would give him exactly what he craved — you.
He couldn’t get enough of you after that, this you convinced yourself of. And if you had any doubts prior to now, they were long gone by now. The memory of how he groaned as he licked you clean after making a mess of his face while his tongue was buried deep inside your walls. Especially when you recalled how you writhed underneath him when his fingers danced along your overstimulated clit before plunging deep inside you to make you feel so so full. It was a constant that replayed in your head like a rerun.
“Everything okay?” His teasing voice snapped you out of the memory and brought you back to the breakfast bar. You repositioned on top of your stool uncomfortably once you felt your panties damp and walls throbbing at the vivid memory.
“Oh, yeah. I’m good.” You took a sip of your drink, welcoming the bitter taste on your tongue as a temporary distraction to prevent your thoughts from wandering again.
“You sure? Thought I lost you for a minute there.” His coy smile lured a faint blush out and to dust along your cheeks.
“I’m right here.” You confirmed, swallowing as you took him all in when he nodded and stood up from his stool. You were too nervous earlier to really take a good look at him and really see him.
He looked absolutely sinful in his black skin-tight suit pants clinging to him like they were painted on. He had a gorgeous high neck black lace blouse tucked into them, leaving nothing to the imagination. The silver dangling from his ears shined in the moonlight coming in through his window with the dazzling light of the moon that was watching over you. You had to tell yourself not to stare at the birth mark on his bottom lip for too long.
An impossible task, really.
“I got you something.” He had walked over to a table just behind his couch and picked up a present wrapped to perfection. He set it down in front of you, his eyes soft but full of something dark as he watched you open the black box that was decorated with red ribbon ties around it. You could feel the desire he felt for you in the air; it was tense and your heart picked up its pace at the sight of what was in the box. “Do you like it?” He’d asked. “I thought you would look absolutely radiant in them.”
You couldn’t answer right away, your mouth going dry and the heat beginning to build in the pit of your stomach as butterflies swarmed manically in your chest.
“They’re beautiful. But what is all this for?” You definitely could not miss how the lace trimmed collar matched the blouse that adorned his chest.
“Oh I think you know.”
“Well, I know what their functionality is, but why did you-” before you could finish, Wooyoung slid the box away from you and in front of himself. With a twirl of his finger, he motioned you to turn around. You swiveled yourself around on top of the stool you sat upon, the confusion still showing across your features as you heard the faint clanking of the dainty chains in the box.
“Because,” you stared at the wall in front of you and felt the palm of his hand splay over your throat, his hand barely squeezing to get your heart pumping and the arousal in your abdomen start vibrating. Wooyoung took his other hand and placed the choker around your neck and fastened it from the back for you.
“You already look so beautiful underneath me,” he began, his hands making their way to the sleeves of your dress and pulling them down until it was halfway off. He stared down at your breasts, your nipples hardening as the heat between your legs intensified with the way his hands felt against your bare skin. That fueled the demon, it woke the beast inside, and he suddenly felt that insatiable hunger take over.
“But I just couldn’t help myself…” he yanked on the chain a bit to prompt you to turn yourself around again. “Black really is your color, darling.” His eyes locked in on the choker that was now adorning your neck and you saw his nostrils flare. “My god…You’re breathtaking.” He proclaimed under his breath, but you weren’t sure if it was said intentionally to you or if it was a break in his dominating presence.
His fingers trailed down your sternum and feather light caresses were given along the underside of your breasts. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours softly, allowing you two to get a good pace going before expertly slipping his tongue past your eager lips. The first taste of you in his tongue sent him into an animalistic frenzy, groaning into your mouth and the taste of the wine that lingered on your tongue was enough to get him drunk on you.
His hands reached your hips, pulling you flush against his chest and pressing your back into the counter as one hand began making art on your side with his nails — the scratches deep enough to cause the skin to puff and turn a slight angry shade of red, but not enough to inflict any pain.
‘Just enough to claim’ he thought, the obsessive observation not allowing him to think about anything else until he noticed your dress was still hiding you from him.
This wouldn’t do.
He pushed the remainder of the dress down until it hit the floor and you stepped out of it, flinging it out of sight with your foot. His mouth never left your body while his hand reached behind you to grab hold of the two black leather cuffs and bring them between the two of you. He broke his lips apart from yours and saw how blown out your eyes had become just from kissing him. He knew his devilish smirk wouldn’t be missed by you, no matter what state you were in mentally right now.
“Do you trust me?” His voice was barely a whisper as he looked down at the leather in his hands and then back up at you while holding the sultriest gaze. You nodded slowly, your breath beginning to pick up as you felt a spike of adrenaline kick in out of pure excitement. He grinned, taking one of your wrists delicately into his hand and securing one of the cuffs around it.
Once both were secured and your wrists were bound in front of you, he tugged gently at the chain on your choker and twirled you back around slowly, pressing your nearly naked form against the cold countertop. You felt him bend over you, pressing himself against you and completely caging you in with his arms. You heard him inhale sharply when his front pressed up against your ass, the stiffness in his trousers obvious now.
“Ready for this?” He purred into your ear, his lips ghosting your lobe teasingly while his warm breath against the shell of your ear sent a cold shiver shooting down your spine causing the pit of your stomach to feel like boiling hot magma. You clenched your legs together, hoping the dampness between them wasn’t obvious but by the way he chuckled, you knew that was no longer possible.
You felt his fingers dancing lightly across your electrified skin, dragging up and down your arms until they reached your sides. You could hear his light panting between soft pecks to your exposed shoulder blades, his tongue slowly gliding along the skin over the protruding bone, followed by a bite into the plush flesh of your shoulder. You felt the way his body was being pressed against yours more and more as his mouth worked to paint his blank canvas beautiful shades of blues and purples from every love bite he created on your back. You relished in how he felt almost needy and just as desperate to be touching you as much as humanly possible. The need to claim your body as his was evident and it sent you into a hazy spiral.
The irresistible heat that had made your heart race a million miles a minute returned when you felt his weight against you. His chest being flush with your back as he rubbed himself shamelessly against your ass left you breathless, the heated weight of him on top of you and the chill of the marble underneath was intoxicatingly delicious.
You felt as his bulge quickly became fully grown and started pulsating — awaiting to be touched and aching for your attention. You were too lost in your own pleasure to even notice that he had started slowly grinding against your ass, small whimpers falling from his swollen lips as he kept you pinned to the counter, allowing the friction from his trousers to rub him just right.
You dared not look back in fear of what you would see. He was lost in the way you made his body feel, and you knew exactly how primal his features would look if you did.
The weight of him on you soon lessened as he started running his hands down your sides and soon his hands gripped each ass cheek, squeezing them a few times before his fingers hooked into the lace at your hips. You quickly felt his hot breath against your hip bone and his teeth graze the sensitive skin. He began pulling your panties down, and you finally found the courage to look down and saw him dragging the dainty lace down with his fingers and his teeth. Once they were at the floor, you felt a rush of heat sweep over your abdomen as the warmth began to pool from within, preparing to burst at the right moment…when he decided it was time.
You heard him hum, pleased at the sight in front of him. He was now on his knees, and he tapped your leg to get your attention.
“Turn around for me, pretty baby.” He cooed. You immediately turned yourself around and were met with his hungry eyes from below. He looked at your damp pussy and licked his lips, spreading your legs just enough to fit between them a little.
You leaned back against the counter and met with the hard marble again, this time not as cold from it being warmed up by you.
“I’ve been waiting to eat you up all day.” He growled before pulling your lips apart slowly and gliding his tongue along your slit agonizingly slow. When you felt the warm plush muscle glide across your already slick folds, you felt the sharp jab of arousal slam into your core and it knocked the wind out of you.
“Oh, Woo…” you couldn’t find it in you to finish the sentence you had just lost from the fog that took over your thoughts as your only focus was the sensational pleasure his mouth was giving you. Like a kitten, he licked and licked and licked in small flicks of his tongue on every sensitive spot he made a point of memorizing.
When his dark chocolate eyes met yours again, he was melting at the way his name spilled uncontrollably, desperately and monumentally from your lips. How it was caressed by drawn out moans, and the way your back arched against the dark grey marble swirls underneath your glistening skin. He tugged at the chain attached to your collar and pulled you forward so your core was pressing against his smirking mouth as it devoured you like a starved man. His flouncy hair hung low over his eyes as he made a meal out of you, the constant slurping noises and groans of approval vibrating against your sensitive skin made you dizzy. He reached a hand up and pulled on the silver chain again when he noticed you had become silent. A small yelp escaped from your agape mouth at the small tug against your neck.
“Wanna hear you, baby.” He pleaded against your pulsating core, his voice unassuming of what he was truly capable of. Wooyoung demanded your attention in all forms — he exuded an overwhelming amount of confidence that screamed sex, which had your cunt dripping since day one.
“Wanna hear you scream my name.” He cooed with his mouth full of you, his hazy eyes looking up at you half lidded as he worked you in every single way he had learned how.
Oh…fuck,” you cursed under your breath once he had slid two fingers inside of your saturated walls. The way you swallowed his fingers with a vice grip. “Woo please.” You whined as his fingers were slowly inserted and dragged back out agonizingly slow and rubbing against your rigid walls so deliciously. He pulled them out completely before repeating and eventually began to plunge in and out of you at a rapid pace, the heat overwhelming and having you ready to burst like a volcanic eruption.
“Louder.” He instructed, his voice low and demanding. He did not look up at you as he pounded his fingers deep into you and pulled them right back out, letting your walls clench around nothing before sucking his digits right back in again.
“Woo…” you felt the tears begin to form on your lash line with the familiar pleasure peaking in your abdomen. He pulled them back out and put them back in this time but only to the first knuckle, not moving and waiting. The orgasm you begged your body to unleash on you refused to wash over you when his fingers were not inside.
“I said louder!” He commanded, his fingers rubbing around the rim of your hole teasingly before he shoved his tongue deep into your cunt and started fucking you relentlessly.
“Oh my god, WOOYOUNG!” Your legs shook as you kept your back arched as you felt the tide come crashing down on you, a series of moans forcing themselves from your slack mouth. You felt like a thousand lightning bolts jolted through your entire body as you succumbed to him and melted into his touch. You didn’t care who heard you beyond the four walls that kept you two hidden from the world. You only cared about the man with his face buried deep in your pussy as he licked every last drop of cum that leaked from your stretched hole. Your fingers curled into his hair as you pushed yourself against him to ride your orgasm out on his tongue.
When you came back down from your high that lasted an eternity, you felt him chuckle against you as he allowed you to tremble and shake around him. In the midst of your high you didn’t realize you squeezed your thighs around his face and held him in place and you reached your peak.
“What…what are you laughing at?” You asked, sounding just as spent as you felt. He stood up from in between your legs and that’s when you saw the mess you made of his face, a knowing smirk adorning it as his eyes locked with yours.
Nothing…I’m just surprised is all.” He shrugged as he walked behind the counter into the kitchen and started dampening a washcloth. You hopped up to sit on the counter and waited for him to come back around.
“Surprised at what?” You leaned back a bit and your eyebrow shot up slightly while you waited for him to reply.
“I didn’t realize I would be getting a pair of earmuffs in the middle of summer.”
“What do you-” you paused, the light visibly flicking on above your head when you understood. “Oh my god!” You felt your cheeks heat up instantly at the realization. “Are you referring to…”
“The death grip you had on my face with your thighs? Oh I absolutely am.” He smiled teasingly as he crouched back down in front of you and started running the warm washcloth along your now heated skin as he cleaned you up. He wiped away what he couldn’t get with his mouth and was so gentle.
“I am…so…so sorry.” You leaned back embarrassed, covering your face with your hands and hoping you would just evaporate on the spot.
“Why? You completely let go and…” he grabbed your wrists and undid your cuffs. He looked up at you through his lashes, and you noticed a light sheen of sweat sticking to his skin. “You liquidized right into my hands; you surrendered yourself completely to me in that moment and allowed your body to naturally react to the pleasure. If that’s not trust, then I don’t know what is.” He booped the tip of your nose with his finger and chuckled under his breath. “It’s what every dom dreams of witnessing when playing.”
“Wait- are you a dom?”
“You could say that.” He chuckled at your surprised expression, but something in you always knew he was fit for the role when his presence entered a room way before he ever did.
“Oh darling, you only got a taste of what I can do to you. For you.” He lightly caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, his feline eyes glowing with something you didn’t know but wanted to experience. His touch felt like the heat of a thousand suns against your skin as he leaned down and firmly pressed his lips to yours, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip and so you could get the faintest taste yourself on him.
You would never admit that you liked the taste of yourself on his tongue.
At least not out loud, anyway.
“But only if you want it. I know this isn’t for everyone, but I would never force you into something you aren’t comfortable with.” He stared into your eyes and held eye contact to make sure every word he just spoke registered.
“I’ve been looking for someone for a long time who matches my rhythm…someone like you.” He continued, his gaze never wavering. “Honestly, I can’t bear the thought of you with anyone but me. I’m not sure when this started, but now that it has it’s a thirst I can’t quench. It’s a hunger I can’t control. I’ve accepted this because all I know is that I need you.” He tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear and his smile was soft and kind and romantic in a way you were used to seeing him now. It made your heart race even more.
“However, I will respect your wishes if you’d prefer to keep this casual.” You felt your eyes widen slightly at his confession. As he waited for an answer, he reached behind you with both hands to untie your choker. You felt the fabric loosen from around your neck and fall into his hands much like you had.
“Jung Wooyoung…are you asking me if I want us to be exclusive?” You couldn’t help the way the corners of your mouth curled up as your heart grew wings in that moment.
“I am, yes.” He confirmed as he put the delicate lace back in the box that sat on the countertop still.
“Well then…” you grab the cuffs that he had discarded back into the box and dangle them in between the two of you. “you better put these back on. I don’t think I’m done being ruined by you yet.”
“I haven’t even ruined you yet...” He stated, the mole on his lip coming into view when his dashing smile reappeared and his eyes darkened when looking at you. “And no…we were only taking a short break. I’m nowhere near done with you yet.” His voice was low and husky as it vibrated against his sternum, his inner lion pounding at his rib cage to be unleashed once again.
“Yes, sir.” You leaned back, eyes hooded and sultry, spreading your legs for him to see that you had already made a small mess on the counter just for him.
Because of him.
He stood up and pressed himself against you, grabbing your throat ever so lightly as he leaned in. You closed your eyes ready to feel his plush lips meet yours, only you were never met with the touch. Instead, his lips ghosted over yours so you could feel his barely-there panting as he held you in place. You could feel his aching member against your thigh as he stood against you.
“You’re so good at being bad...”
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jwillbiteyourfingersoff · 8 months ago
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Ch.1 : Meet Cute
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Norm Maclean loves his sister, and after Betty finds out about his discovery in vault 31, he is forced out into the wastelands to "find her"
Norm Maclean/Gn!Surface!Reader
Ch: 2
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Another day in an unloving wasteland, in an unloving life, and undignified exile. Getting adopted then expelled from the brotherhood of steel in 6 months had to be some kind of laughable record. Stalking through the desolate stretches of sand and broken down buildings put a hamper on my mood, but sitting alone in one of said buildings and finding some rations and a place to rest let my sour mood settle for a while. Taking the goggles from my eyes and laying them besides the palette, hand still on my hostler, I closed my eyes for a possible 30 minutes of sweet escape from the world surrounding me.
This slumber, of course, was interrupted by the sounds of approaching feet. An eye shoots open, the hand still resting lightly on my pistol tightens, readying to shoot an angry cannibal (or maybe a ghoul?) straight between the eyes. “Fuck off unless you want your brains as some fresh paint for these walls.” I bark, pointing my pistol at the entrance of the half destroyed structure. The footsteps stop, and a small noise seems to come from the entrance. I walk closer, pistol still aimed and ready, trying to sneak a peek outside the slanted door. I see someone dressed in all blue, yellow accents curving their suit and…
“Holy shit.” I whisper, not believing what I’m seeing for a moment. “A… vault dweller?” I lower my gun slightly as I continue to scan the man before me. He's slim, slight in his build, almost mousey. His hair is fluffed and he looks like hes actually most likely showered in the past week. “I thought all y’all were dead. What are you doing up here?” I question him, gun now less of a concern to keep up at all times.
“I-” The vault boy croaks before coughing, “My name is Norm. I’m looking for my sister.” He raises his hand up to his sides as he takes a very small step forward, showing his lack of weapons and threat to me as best he can. “Her name is Lucy, she has a suit with a 33 on it like me.” He continues to speak cautiously and slowly, as if trying to communicate with an animal. “I don't want trouble or to hurt you, I just want to know if you've seen her.” He looks at me, sincere and hiding his fear well.
I study his face. Hes admittedly quite cute, but that might be because he doesn't look like he's starving and rotting at the same time. His big brown eyes feel… trustable. Truly a unique trait on the surface, same as his uncracked lips and clean(ish) face. “I haven't seen your sister, vault boy.” He seems to deflate a bit, some of the hopeful energy he carries seems to vanish.
“Oh. Alright, then. Have a…” He looks behind me, into the sand filled, ramshackle building, “…palatable rest of your day.” He begins to walk backwards, and I lower my gun. He lets out a sigh of relief and turns around as I do so. He begins stomping through the sand away from me, but something makes me want him to stay.
“You know, a vaulty like you ain't gonna make it long alone out here.” I yell after him. “The only reason I didn't shoot ya is because I don't like killing people who ain't carrying no weapons.” I re-holster my gun, putting my hands on my hips as I watch him try to ignore me. “Not a lot of people are gonna be as kind, especially not to a vaulty like you.” He stops for a moment, turning to look at me in a mix of annoyance and fear. “That 33 might as well be a big ol target on your back.”
He turns to look at me fully, facing me as he seems to scan me “And why should I trust what you say?”
I shrug “Shouldn't, really. But if you want someone who don't kill for fun or food, I’m the best you got for miles.” Leaning against the door, I cross my arms. We stare at one another for a long while, him searching for answers in a purposefully cryptic face. “This is the only livable shelter for a long while, I’m willing to share as long as you promise not to steal any of my shit.” The deal comes out of the blue even for me, often I’m not willing to share my spaces but something about him seemed different. Maybe it was because he was a vaulty, their whole shtick was being harmless and wanting to help right?
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Hey y'all! this is the first chapter in a series that I'm gonna be doing about Norm post-season 1, hope y'all like it :]
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hazyange1s · 6 months ago
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Garreth Weasley HCs
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To round out the big three… here’s my favorite ginger and all the rotting thoughts about him straight from my brain. HELP because they are well and truly eating away at me
Excellent baker. Constantly surprising his friends with random desserts he’s made (some of which may or may not be magically enhanced…)
Man just loves his food. One of the only times you’ll ever see him truly angry is when he hasn’t eaten in a while.
Gryffindor Beater = canon. Gotta put that pent up energy to good use somehow.
Favorite color is a light sage green.
Surprises everyone with his talent and passion for Herbology — he works on the family garden at home as well, and finds that it’s one of the few times his mind is quiet.
Really, Garreth is just very hands on in every sense of the word. It’s why he doesn’t do as well in the more theory-based classes.
BI-CON I SAID WHAT I SAID
Starts selling his (tested) brews in sixth/seventh year to save up for his own Potions shop after graduating.
Seems oblivious, but he notices a lot more than he lets on. Keeping things light and easy is preferable to causing a fuss in his mind.
His birthday is August 12, 1875. He’s a leo sun, sagittarius moon, leo rising.
Secret wizard’s chess prodigy
Horrible short term memory, AMAZING long term memory (very ADHD)
Amortentia: cinnamon, (caramelized) brown sugar, hay/grass, and cauldron fumes
Has four siblings. A younger sister; Charlotte, and three older brothers: Archie, Owen, and Phillip.
Really close with his mum, as well — like, owls her on schedule every week.
Shockingly Type A and obsessive about the things he loves (Potions being one of them, obviously) to the point of exuding “mad genius” on a regular basis. I just imagine him buried in notes and pulling out his hair over the right ingredient.
HUGE flirt with absolutely everyone, though 99% of the time it’s all a jest, and sometimes he doesn’t even realize. Somehow, he gets rather flustered when it’s turned back on him by the true object of his affections.
Because underneath that easy confidence and carefree attitude is someone who constantly wonders if they’re not enough — or too much.
Still the most encouraging and loyal friend you’ll ever have. golden retriever energy
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flowerxbunnie · 1 year ago
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Star Crossed
Chris x Fem reader
Warnings: angst, cheating/breakup, underage drinking, scene involving cigarettes
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“Fuck you Garrett, like actually.” I spat, gripping at the handle of his jeep and threatening to leave.
“What is your problem? You never told me that it wasn’t okay. She’s literally Tristan’s cousin. And your best friend is a guy, I thought you would be okay with this.” he argued, his face plastered with confusion but his voice filled with anger.
“Don’t try to make me feel crazy,” I warned, turning back to face him and pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m okay with you having friends of the opposite gender. But I don’t care if it’s the Queen of England, since when is it okay to text other girls private details about our relationship?”
“I only do it when we’re in arguments and I need someone to vent to. She told me I could come to her when I was upset. It’s not like it’s an everyday thing.” He throws his hands up in frustration.
“Okay,” I let an angry chuckle out. “I’m gonna call up one of my girls’ cousins and tell him about this right quick then. See if he maybe has some advice for me.”
“That’s not the fucking same and you know it. He’d try to fuck you or god knows what else.” He scowled.
I stare into his eyes, blinking slowly, hoping the hypocrisy behind his words catches up to him. But it doesn’t.
“I just don’t get why you treat me like I’m some horrible boyfriend,” he starts, “I meet my best friend’s cousin at a bonfire, get her number and text her casually and you fly off the handle.”
“You text her about OUR RELATIONSHIP. When we’re at our worst. Why do you need advice from a random fucking girl who you barely know?” I snapped, my cheeks burning and my hands shaking. Tears threaten to spill over, something I hate about myself when I get angry. “Let’s not forget that you went through and liked every single one of her instagram pictures. Every single one. Was that a piece of the advice she gave you? To make your girlfriend look like a fucking idiot?” I fumed, his hands moving to grip the steering wheel with white knuckles. “And how do I know that’s all you talk about, hm? All the texts are deleted.”
His face remains blank as he grabs the gear-shifter and throws the jeep into reverse. His eyes flick up to the rear view and he backs out of our spot in the random shopping outlet’s parking lot, roughly shifting into drive a he pulls out and into the road.
“What the fuck are you doing, Garrett?” I grumble, watching the streetlights lining the road zoom past my window as he speeds down the highway.
“I’m taking you home. I’m not gonna stay with a crazy bitch who thinks she can micromanage my every move.” He spoke, his tone calm and his expression unwavering.
I take a deep breath. I’m done with the arguing.
“Okay.”
I close out of her instagram account, still trying to convince myself that my eyes are playing tricks on me as Garrett’s name is plastered under her newest scandalous photos. I toss my phone into the space between my bed and the wall, knowing it’s unhealthy to stalk her and mourn my relationship everyday. It’s been a week.
Somehow I’ve managed to drag myself to class everyday. The lessons don’t click in my brain this week, my notebook is empty and my pen is dry. I’m not even sure I have a voice anymore. I haven’t spoken to anyone unless I had to. None of my friends know what happened, I’m too embarrassed to come across as the crazy ex-girlfriend who got her heart broken because she can’t mind her own business.
Aside from class I’ve been lying down rotting for the past seven days, going back and forth on if I’m in the wrong or if I’m valid in my feelings. Garrett was right, my best friend is a guy, but I’ve known him since middle school. We know everything about each other, he’s like family. Garrett threw everything away for a girl he had just met, deleting text messages and completely failing to ever mention her name in conversation.
My body feels like it’s physically reacting, my muscles aching and my head throbbing. My mind races with questions.
How can someone who I poured so much of my love into take it and wring it down the drain?
How can I even feel angry? He just wanted a new friend.
Why did he like all of her pictures, even the first embarrassing one she ever posted in 2013?
Why are you so controlling?
Why didn’t he tell me?
Why do you care so much? It’s just Tristan’s cousin.
Is it bad for my boyfriend to like pictures of a girl in a hot tub?
I hear my phone vibrating, but I can’t even find the energy to move the comforter off of my body. I put a pillow over my ears and try to wish it away. I’m tired of the questions. I don’t want to explain why I’ve seemed down.
It keeps going off, vibrating against the wall over and over relentlessly. Huffing, I shove my hand down into the gap and dig for it, pulling it up and squinting as the screen beams light into my eyes.
“Party tonight at the same house as last week. Y/n please get off your lazy ass and come!!!”
“yeah y/n i need to see ur pretty face!”
“If Garrett gets mad tell him he can come too”
“its senior year pleaseee we don’t have many parties left :(“
My group chat is flooded with messages from my girl friends. I can’t even reply right now. Maybe getting out would be good for me, but I really want to sit in my two day old clothes and stuff my face with Oreos tonight. How dumb am I gonna look dancing alone?
My mind races for the next hour, contemplating whether going out will make me feel better or become a huge regret. Garrett and I never officially broke things off, we just haven’t talked in a week. What if he’s pining over it like I am? I can’t exactly just dance my feelings away with some random guy when I don’t even know the status of my relationship.
After a phone call from Sophie and a lot of convincing, I decide it would be best for me to get out tonight. I need the interaction, and maybe a couple drinks if someone was able to bum them from their college friends. I need to hear music, I need to speak with other humans. But I can’t go alone.
My phone hovers over Chris’s name, worried I might wake him up since it’s already late. I click it anyway, the dial tone only going off twice before I hear his voice on the other side.
“Y/n/n, what’s up!” he chirps.
I smile to myself, my best friend always cheering me up whether he knows it or not. “You know, the usual. Coming up with a blue print for a new and improved Golden Gate Bridge. You?”
“Fuck off,” he stifles his laughter. “I’m watching some show Nick and Matt told me about. For real though, what’s up?”
“Sophie is begging me to go to a party tonight. You down to be my plus one?” I question as I shuffle through my closet.
“Garrett didn’t wanna go?” he asks puzzled.
I take a moment and debate whether or not I want to tell him. I really don’t want to bring down the mood of the night. I’m supposed to be having fun.
“Nah, not tonight. He’s on some boys trip upstate.” I lie through my teeth.
“Sounds lame. I’ll be there, what time?” He asks and I hear rustling, presumably him getting up off the couch or his bed.
“Uhhhh like two hours….” I trail off, nervous it might be too short of notice.
“Alright, I’ll meet you at your house and we can walk together.”
“Perfect! Thank you Chrissy.” I feel tears well up in my eyes, actual happiness igniting, even if only a small spark, for the first time in a week.
“Don’t thank me, weirdo.” He laughs. “See ya dude.” The line goes silent.
I spend the next couple hours taking everything slow. I eat a meal, my first fulfilling one since that night. I wash my face, do my hair, throw on makeup to look and feel more alive. I decide on a maroon slip dress, silky and comfortable. As I’m saying my goodbyes to my parents and about to walk out the door, my phone vibrates in my hand.
“What color are you wearing?”
“Maroon!”
I smile as I text him back, knowing he’s gonna wear something to coordinate our looks. As cringe as it may be, that’s just Chris.
We meet exactly where we planned, the chill in the air causing us to walk shoulder to shoulder for any sort of warmth. We don’t talk much, but the silence is comfortable. We never felt the need to force something out of nothing. Nothing is everything with him.
We walk in and we’re immediately greeted by Sophie and a bunch of other people she’s been hanging around.
“Y/n!” She pulls me into a hug. “Where’s Garrett? Hey Chris!” She waves in his direction.
“Boys trip.” I shrug, going into as little detail as possible.
“Oh, well I’m SO glad you came. You haven’t been yourself the last few days.” She says while giving me a look of genuine concern.
“Class has been super stressful,” I lie. “But I’m so glad I came too!”
Chris smiles as he listens in on our conversation, waving at various people who greet him in passing.
He looks so handsome. He’s wearing a maroon sweater with a button up peeking out from underneath and some jeans that fall perfectly over his long legs. I’ve always been so jealous of his ability to throw anything together and make it an outfit, a good one at that.
“Chrissy I love your outfit,” I whisper in his ear, the music too loud to try to talk from a distance.
“Had to layer, it’s too cold for a ratty tshirt,” he jokes. “But I could say the same to you. You look gorgeous.” He smiles and bumps his shoulder against mine.
The night goes on and we drink, dance, take goofy photos in front of a prop wall, and talk to so many fucking people. I’ve went over my social meter for the night, but Chris looks like he’s having so much fun and I would never say anything to ruin that. He makes his way back over to me after a round of beer pong that he absolutely crushed everyone else at.
“I wanna get one more picture in front of the prop wall and then I think I’m gonna call it a night. Gonna walk to McDonalds if you wanna comeee..” he sing songs, giving me a pleading look.
“Thank fuck,” I laugh, relief washing over me. “I was done an hour ago. Just didn’t wanna take the experience away from you.”
“That’s crazy because I was also done an hour ago, but I thought you were having a good time.” He laughs, his nose scrunching up.
We walk over to the prop wall and find someone to snap a photo for us. I grab a pair of red heart glasses, he grabs a bow tie on a stick and holds it up to his neck.
“3.. 2.. 1… and cheese!” The girl slurs before the flash blinds us.
She tosses me my phone and we thank her before slipping out the door, thankfully going unnoticed by Sophie. We giggle and walk alongside each other on the sidewalk, the smell of dewy late night air flooding my nose. The streetlights carve out Chris’s cheekbones as he looks down at me, rambling about nothing and everything all at once. I listen intently, glad to have my mind on anything other than what it’s been rampant with recently.
“It’s fucking cold,” I complain as I cross my arms across my chest and rub some friction onto them.
“Here.” Chris quickly stops in his tracks and pulls his sweater off, his button up left behind. He tosses it my way and gives me a small smile.
It smells like him as I slip it over my head and bring the sleeves over my hands.
“Thank you.”
We make it to McDonald’s relatively quickly. Chris holds the door open for me and we order our food and find a booth to wait in. My feet ache and my hair just feels tangled.
“What a fucking night. I can’t wait to crash after this,” I sigh and lay my head on the table.
His hand comes down to rub my hair, a sweet gesture he loves to do. His love language has always been physical touch.
“Aww, I was hoping you’d hang out with me a little longer. I’ve got ideas!” He whines.
I look up at him with a raised eyebrow. You never know what this kid is going to come up with in the spur of the moment.
“Just wanted to walk around that nature park down the road. Seems spooooky at night.” He laughs and turns his head, standing up as the cashier calls out our number.
We laugh and eat, my mind completely free of any thoughts besides how much fun I’m having with Chris. Ever since we met in 6th grade art class he’s known how to keep a smile on my face. He’s the kind of person you can’t help but be drawn to. His laugh alone is infectious, filling up any room he’s in. He’s such an attentive friend, which is why I’m not surprised when his mood shifts and he starts to question me.
“So what’s been going on, Y/n/n?” He looks down at his fries and scoots them around.
Do we really need to do this right now? I’m prepared to sink back into my sadness once I’m alone. I don’t plan on telling anyone until I’m sure of where we stand myself.
“Uh, nothing really,” I mumble, taking a sip of my blue Powerade. “Just stressed from assignments and stuff I guess.”
“Not gonna fool me, kid. What’s up?” He looks me in the eye this time.
His blue eyes hold so much genuine concern. They flicker back and forth between my own and he blinks slowly awaiting my response.
“It’s Garrett.” I admit.
“What about him this time?” He huffs as his eyes harden, sitting back against his side of the booth with his arms across his chest.
“He… I don’t know. He crossed a boundary and I wasn’t comfortable with it,” I start, breaking eye contact and pushing my hair behind my ear. “And then he acted like I was out of line. He dropped me off at my house and I haven’t heard from him since.”
His gaze softens and he puts his elbows on the table, scooting closer to me with a knowing look. “I figured it had something to do with that. You know I can read you like a book. So is it over, or…?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t say, and I haven’t even tried to reach out.” I close my box of chicken nuggets as my appetite fizzles away.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n. He fucking sucks.” He leaves it at that and gathers all our trash. “Let’s go.”
We walk to a nearby gas station in silence, the mood heavier this time. I wander around the snack aisle as he makes his purchase. I hear the bell on the door ring and look over as he holds it open and nods his head at me. The black bag swings lazily at his side as we walk to the park.
“What did you get?” I ask as we settle on a bench under a lamp post.
“Cigarettes. Oh and a lighter.” He says casually as he pulls them out of the bag.
“What the fuck,” I laugh, my eyes widening as I realize he’s serious. “Why?”
He shrugs, “I don’t know, just figured we could try something new. You’re stressed and shit so I kinda just thought it would be nice, I don’t know.” He flicks his thumb across the lighter and the yellow flame illuminates his face before he blows it out.
“I mean.. I guess. I’m probably gonna cough super bad.” I laugh and straighten my legs in front of me, crossing my ankles.
“Eh, fuck it. I probably will too.” He laughs and rips the pack open.
He brings a cigarette between his lips and holds it there, cupping a hand around it to block the wind. His other hand comes up with the lighter and sparks it a couple times before he gets it to light. He holds the flame against the end and draws in a breath, the tip glowing red as it catches fire. He immediately pulls it away from his mouth and coughs loudly, standing up and holding his chest.
“What… the FUCK.” He says between heaving coughs, small puffs of smoke escaping his mouth each time.
I can’t help but laugh, throwing my hands over my mouth and taking in the sight in front of me. He shakes his head back and forth with his eyes closed, his brown waves flopping around. He extends his arm to me and squats down trying to take control over his breath again.
“Good fuckin’ luck.” He coughs out.
I lean forward and grab it between my fingers, his warm ones brushing mine in the process. He looks up and smiles before shaking his head in disgust again.
“So fucking dizzy.” He says as he sits down fully on the asphalt.
“Baby’s first nicotine buzz!” I joke, stopping my laughter quickly as he squints his eyes at me.
I bring the cigarette between my lips and drag on it, my lungs immediately filling with thick, rancid smelling smoke. I cough one big time and try to hold it in, puffing my cheeks out and attempting to hold my breath. My chest starts burning and my eyes are watering, and my body instinctively coughs over and over to try to clear my airway. I see Chris laughing through my blurry vision, smacking his knees and stomping a foot on the ground.
“Oh… my.. god.” I choke out, my head spinning and my fingers erupting with a static feeling.
“Yeah, shit’s no joke. How do people enjoy this?” He stands up and drags himself back over to the bench, reclaiming his spot beside me and grabbing the cigarette from me.
I cough on and off, still trying to rid my lungs of the contaminants. I throw my head back and my hair dangles off the backrest of the bench. Chris’s hand finds its way to me and strokes my hair softly and slowly. I bring my head back up and look at him, shaking my head with disappointment.
“Can’t believe you would do that to me.” I tease through a stifled smile.
“Just wanted to see what it was like..” he giggles and brings it back to his lips, the end glowing again as he takes a smaller puff.
He coughs once or twice as the smoke billows out of his mouth and dissipates into the foggy air around us. He looks at me with wide eyes. “Hey, that one wasn’t so bad!” He holds it back out to me, gesturing me to try again.
“Uhh.. I think I’m good. My lungs feel like they’re collapsing.” I push his hand back.
“You should try one more time..” he looks away in thought before snapping his head back. “What if we shotgun? I’ll take the brunt of the smoke and you can have whatever’s leftover. It’ll be less harsh that way.”
I’m sorry, but shotgunning a cigarette? First of all, that’s nasty. Does not sound appealing in the slightest. Secondly, I can’t fathom bringing my lips that close to Chris.
“Uhhh..” I trail off and shake my head slightly.
“Come onnnn Y/n/n!” He pouts, scooting closer to me on the bench. “I’m not gonna peer pressure you into it if you really don’t want to..” he says seriously.
“Fine. ONE more time.” I say and narrow my eyes at him.
He nods furiously and scoots even closer, our thighs touching and his cologne strong in the breeze. I can see every detail of his face under the light of the lamp post. His bushy but clean brows, his smile lines, his pink lips wet from obsessively licking them. His hair falls over his eyes as he brings the cigarette back into his mouth and takes a big drag. His eyes widen and he grabs my face in a rush, his warm hand against my cold cheek.
He pulls me close and our noses brush against each other. Time feels like it slows down to a crawl. I open my mouth and he does the same, our lips micrometers apart. His hot breath mixed with the smoke fan over my face as his eyes close, his long eyelashes fanning across his cheeks. I can feel heat in my cheeks that I’ve never felt around him.
He exhales as I inhale, the smoke that was once in his lungs filling my own. I take all that I can and he stays for what feels like a moment too long, his icy blue eyes opening to lock onto mine. I feel a weird pit in my stomach and the blood stills in my veins. Why am I feeling like this?
He pulls back and scans over my face, watching as I exhale and a comically small puff of smoke blows out.
“Well, that was lame.” He laughs and brushes his hair back.
“Yeah, little bit.” I agree flatly.
We sit in silence and finish the cigarette together, our lungs adjusting and my mind racing. I try to take my mind off the feeling of his thigh still brushing against mine, but the nicotine doesn’t have any effect at all. I thought these things are supposed to relieve stress.
Once we’ve burnt it to the end, he rubs the bud against the asphalt and flicks it away. It rolls until it hits the curb and we both sigh at the same time. We look at eachother and laugh at our ‘jinx’ moment, not knowing just how different we were feeling internally but thankful that we feel no pressure to be perfect when we were together.
“I’m so thankful to have a friend like you, Chrissy.” I smile and blow some warm air into my frozen hands.
He smiles lazily at me for a second, an almost sad look flashing across his eyes as his hand comes to lay on top of mine and stroke the back of it with his thumb. “Don’t know what I’d do without ya.”
•••
The morning sun comes out from hiding, her rays illuminating his brown hair on his pillow beside me. I watch his chest rising and falling steadily, a calming rhythm that could lull me back to sleep any day. Nothing makes me happier than waking up and feeling warmth on his side of the bed. I feel whole in his presence.
I look around at our bedroom and realize just how far we’ve come. We’ve both left the comfort of our parents homes and have made these four walls our own. Piece by piece we made a sanctuary like a bird collecting sticks and paper straw wrappers for its nest. I could go anywhere with him and build a nest. He makes everything okay.
I take my phone off the charger and scroll around aimlessly, hoping not to disturb his sleep, his pink lips hanging open and his eyes moving under his lids. I go through instagram and flip through recipes, gym videos, and dog compilations before I’m bored and close it out. I try Facebook and my distant older relatives have flooded my timeline with political garbage, so I close it out too. I open Snapchat and see a memory, smiling as I start to click through the photos and videos taken on this day from the previous years.
The first video plays, a snippet from last year of us in his car, lip syncing to one of our favorite songs. The next one is from the same night, a photo of him with his arm around me in front of the door to our then-new apartment. His eyes shimmered with happiness, mine mirroring his own with a huge smile plastered on my face.
I click again and watch as our past plays out on the screen in front of me. I can’t help but feel so thankful for the way everything worked out. So much would be different if the world hadn’t knitted us in the exact pattern it planned, one frayed thread and I wouldn’t be sitting in this room with the love of my life.
Click
My smile fades as I scan over the photo. I reminisce on the night, remembering everything as if it were a movie playing in my brain. They used to be some of the best times of my life. He made me so happy.
It’s strange how well you can know the inner workings of someone, sometimes more than your own. You know the temperature they like to drink their water, their favorite salad dressing, the commercials that make them cry. And you sit together and watch the commercials from time to time, because you know the end makes them smile again.
It’s strange how quickly it can all fizzle out, both of you existing in the world without a clue of who the person could be today. Here one minute and gone the next. I know he’s out there. He knows I’m out here. But who is he?
How different would my life had been if I did end up with him? Would I have had the same opportunities, the same zeal for life, would I be happier? Would it be my single biggest regret?
I wonder if he thinks about me and everything we went through together. I wonder if he remembers the angsty songs we played in his car late at night, or the scent of the air freshener I always bought for him when he ran out. Does he wonder what his life would be like with me, or has he moved on and found his own paper straw wrappers?
I know he was in love with me. I knew I loved him. But sometimes things are star-crossed and confusing and they hurt and there’s nothing we can do about it. Sometimes the right people come into your life at the wrong time. Do we pine about it forever, or do we let the world continue knitting while hoping the strings don’t fray?
I look over the photo once more, our shadows on the ground innocent and unaware of the future.
I look over and the boy beside me stretches his arms above him and takes in a deep breath before turning over to me, his brown waves a mess. He smiles from ear to ear and I can’t help but return it.
“Morning, baby.”
“Good morning, Garrett.”
a/n: i sobbed many times writing this im sorry if you like happy endings
taglist: @lustfulslxt @whotfisade @soursturniolo @recklesssturniolo @lxvlysworld @chrisolivia4l @kiarastromboli @mattnchrisworld @cupidsword @kvtie444 @xplrfear @knowingnothingnoel
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